Burning Wheel Yoga School is a beautiful yoga studio located in the peaceful Charles River Reservation Area offering instruction in 8-Limb Yoga, Yin Yoga, Yoga Nidra, and Restorative Yoga to the communities in Medfield, Sherborn, Millis, Medway, Walpole, Dover, Norwood and Westwood. We offer Hot and Warm classes, Restorative Yoga, kids classes, and unheated meditations and discussion groups.
In addition to yoga, Burning Wheel Yoga is the home of one of Massachusetts best Massage Therapists and Reiki Master, Angela Lashley. Browse through the website for more details on our yoga and bodywork offerings.
Burning Wheel Yoga School is the product of both Angela and Jordan's many years of practice and study in the realm of yoga, massage, and healing. Burning Wheel Yoga was formed out of the desire to become full time yogis offering instruction in a complete yoga practice to the people in our community, and to provide a healing space for body and mind. Yoga is an eightfold spiritual path based in yama and niyama (the ethical precepts), and the complete practice is a lifestyle of compassion and devotion, not just exercises. Don't worry, we do not encourage any religious doctrine and do not engage in any cult-like behaviour; we've created a space that we hope is welcoming to people of all paths and preferences where they can safely explore and expand their experiences of self discovery and growth. The physical health benefits of yoga are common knowledge in this day and age. That goes without saying. But we are not these bodies we inhabit, we are something more. If you are ready to take control of your body and mind, and then move beyond, this is your home away from home. Welcome, and thank you for visiting us.
Our facility offers clean showers, changing stalls, multiple bathrooms, a serene and private massage studio, and a beautiful practice space. Rental mats, water bottles, sweat towels, and mat towels are available for a small fee. There is plenty of free parking in front of the building, even more around the back. We're two minutes from Medfield town center where you can find a nice juice bar (Juice on Main) and Starbucks at the same intersection, North and Main.


Why We Think Worms Are Vermi-licious!
The word Vermi comes from the latin 'vermis' meaning worm.
Vermicomposting, or worm composting, is an excellent way to convert household garbage into nutrient rich fertilizer. Composting with specialty worms known as Red Wigglers is a clean and environmentally friendly way to save tonnes of waste from going to landfill.
If you Vermicompost you will reduce the amount of garbage being transported out of the province – The average Canadian produces a tonne of waste each year. Estimated 1/2 to 1/3 of household waste is organic matter.
Worms produce beautiful black castings – a nitrogen rich natural fertilizer. Totally organic and one of the best soil additives on the planet. Use worm castings in house plants and gardens.
Odourless when operating effectively – worms eat decomposing matter, therefore eating away any nauseous odours and leaving a fresh earthy smell.
Take a look at her youtube video and you'll immediately notice Cathy's enthusiasm and expertise.
In addition to her own wealth of information, the Cathy's Crawly Composters website is definitely worth checking out. On this site you will find photos, question and comments, information as well as a kids corner and shop among other wormy things!
Vermicomposting is the ideal solution for condo dwellers who do not have an outside area for large a composter. Her worm chalet (manufactured in Ontario!) is perfect for this. Currently the City of Barrie has 8 of these composters which are available for purchase on her website.
In addition to everything else she manages to accomplish, Cathy does fantastic work teaching and engaging kids in the vermicomposting process. She is available for school workshops and even birthday parties!
Great news then for anyone with kids or that would love to learn more about vermicomposting, Cathy will be joining us on Sunday June 12th at Ecofest Barrie!
So what will we learn from Cathy?
We will learn all about worms and vermicomposting – a viable solution for on-site management of food scraps and paper.Discover how worms convert organic matter into nature's finest soil amendment known as castings. Feed the soil, not the plan t. Find out how worms benefit the environment. During the presentation, vermicomposting is explained from set-up to harvest. Worm eggs, castings and worm bins in various stages are displayed.
Entry filed under: City of Barrie, composting, gardening, Uncategorized. Tags: barrie, cath'y creepy crawlers, compost, ontario, vermicomposting, worms.


text:
<?php
require_once 'lib/Test-More.php';
require_once 'lib/utils.php';
require_once '../inc/config_inc.php';
require_once '../inc/utils.php';

diag('getPostsById');

plan(7);

connectDatabase();

$bad_id  = getPostsById(0);
$good_id = getPostsById(1);
$good_id_count   = getPostsById(1, 'count');
$good_id_percent = getPostsById(1, 'percent');
$good_id_array   = getPostsById(1, 'array');

is($bad_id, '0 (0%)', 'bad id');
ok(preg_match('/^\d+ \(\d+\.?\d?%\)$/', $good_id), 'good id');
ok(is_numeric($good_id_count), 'good id count');
ok(preg_match('/^\d+\.?\d?%$/', $good_id_percent), 'good id percent');
ok(is_array($good_id_array), 'good id array');
ok(is_numeric($good_id_array['count']), 'good id array count');
ok(preg_match('/^\d+\.?\d?%$/', $good_id_array['percent']), 'good id array percent');

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


text:
Q: What's the simplest solution/minimal HW I will need to buy to get this done? The ISP only provides 1 WAN IP.
I will have the modem (in the apartment above me) in bridge mode. The modem is capable of VLAN but I don't think it is suitable for my situation.
Upstairs should have their own LAN, so I got them a router. There is no need to isolate their LAN from mine, but if it is easy to do so I will. There is absolute need to isolate my LAN (downstairs) from them.
Upstairs and downstairs are ethernet connected.
Downstairs I want to keep my Ubiquiti ER-LITE3 as a dual WAN router, running DHCP for my LAN. WAN1 should have the bridged address from the modem upstairs. WAN2 will be my own 4G modem (as a standby for WAN1 failing). The last and 3rd port feeds a standard consumer router for more ports and WiFi.
So I have 3 routers already: two consumer wifi routers, one Ubiquiti ER-LITE3 (3 ports only)
Can I accomplish this purchasing one unmanaged switch or do I need a managed switch? I can place the switch upstairs or downstairs. The ER-LITE3 can do VLANs, but it must be downstairs.
PS: No double NAT anywhere (that'd be easy and asking for trouble)

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


Written by Dr. Peter Pearson, 2002. Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples coaching. They are not sure of what to expect of the coach or even if the coach has any expectations of them.
I have found most couples approach coaching with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the coach will assist them to create a happier, more functional, relationship. They expect to learn some new or better skills. However, most people hope their partner will do most of the learning in problem areas.
Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in coaching. As a good coach, my job is to help you reach them. I have many, many tools to help you become a more effective partner – they work best when you are clear about how you aspire to be.
The major aim of coaching is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Coaching becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.
A common yet unproductive pattern in couple's coaching is making the focus be whatever problem happens to be on someone's mind at the moment. This is a reactive (and mostly ineffective) approach to working things through.
Reflect on your objectives for being in coaching.
Couples coaching works best if you have more goals for yourself than for your partner. I am at my best when I help you reach objectives you set for yourself.
Problems occur when reality departs sharply from our expectations, hopes, desires and concerns. It's human nature to try and change one's partner instead of adjusting our expectations. This aspect of human nature is what keeps coaches in business.
The hardest part of couples coaching is accepting you will need to improve your response to a problem (how you think about it, feel about it, or what to do about it). Very few people want to focus on improving their response. It's more common to build a strong case for why the other should do the improving.
Note: please review this document periodically as there is simply too much to absorb in one reading of it. We all will benefit from your efforts.
The following three questions help clarify and sharpen our focus.
First: What kind of relationship you want to be in and create if you stay together? What kind of relationship makes you glad to see other at the end of the day?
Interestingly, most couples who created their own wedding vows describe a marriage that could serve as the North Star for the kind of relationship they want to co-create.
If you wrote your own vows, how well do you remember them?
Identifying the kind of relationship you desire to be in is the target, the bigger picture of why we are meeting. Otherwise we're just going to jump in and try to solve problems without any idea how these problems fit into a bigger picture of where you're headed.
You don't start packing for a trip unless you have an idea where you're going or how long you going to be there.
Second: Why is this kind of relationship important to you?
It takes motivation to do the heavy lifting that's going to grow your relationship.
It's a lot more than just coming in here and complaining about what your partner does and then hope for a miracle. It's human nature to want progress without effort or emotional risk. However, desire without effort creates lifeless marriages.
Third: What's required of you, not your partner, to create this kind of marriage?
The sooner you start identifying what's required of you, not what's required of your partner, you are on the way to the fast track of creating change.
I also know everybody has self-protections and coping mechanisms that inhibit individual growth.
Your barriers can be those that you've created since you got together or resulted from negative early life experiences.
Common barriers to growth are a quick temper, being critical, disengaging, not being dependable, being furious instead of curious, etc.
Just reading all this information and reflecting on how you aspire to be a better partner is a good beginning!
Dr. Peter Pearson, with his wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader, is the co-founder of The Couples Institute as well as co-creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy.
Pete and Ellyn have written two books: In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy and Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage.
Pete has been featured on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Morning Show, and NPR, and in The New York Times, Redbook, Oprah Magazine, and Business Insider. His media list includes over fifty television and radio appearances and magazine articles.
He has taught and trained therapists throughout the U.S. as well as Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia.


It is a giant infrastructure project to lead the traffic past the city center of Stockholm. By using BIM, the data flow gets better and the error gets fewer, says Karin Anderson who is BIM specialist in the project. We get a better coordination and communication between the technical areas and the contractors. BIM leads to lower costs.
The traffic situation in the Stockholm region is severely strained. That´s why the E4 Stockholm Bypass is built to lead the traffic west of the capital and reduce the strain in the city center.
The idea is to facilitate the flow both for private and public traffic.
This giant investment is described as "one of the biggest infrastructure projects in Stockholm of all time" and is now highly ongoing. The initial study was made back in 2001 and opening is planned to 2026.
The information is the thing that keeps this huge project together.
– Our goal is to replace drawings with models, tells Karin Anderson who is BIM specialist in the Stockholm Bypass project.
To reach this goal, it is important to show the use of the model instead of the traditional method of paper drawings. This means that attitudes must change and new knowledge will be applied.
A new way of working together with BIM is being implemented in the project.
– We have therefore put together education material to fill knowledge gaps and other obstacle to get a more effective process. We have developed the material for both Autodesk Naviswork and Bentley Navigator.
It is especially the construction managers in the subprojects that are educated.
– They must be able to find the information they need in the model to perform their duties in field and also be able to navigate them.
It´s about making the model more available and bring data to the construction area. The model is an important information carrier and is supposed to be a living tool for the construction managers that follow the work in the field from their tablet.
– We are evaluating which viewer that works best in different conditions out at the workplaces.
There are also five model coordinators that collects data from the contractor, which is later colour coded to show status. The point is to visualize the work process and create an understanding of what the contractors will do.
The subprojects are taking benefit from a free exchange of knowledge where the contractors modify their data to avoid problems, for instance so that electric cables are nor drawn over wells for daily water. The model is not only a 3D-visualization, but also an important contact between competences and technical areas to be able to control the subprojects in a smooth way.
The Swedish Transport Administration, Trafikverket, is currently not working with ifc and the information exchange is today made with dwg, dgn and xml. Karin looks forward to an exchange format that will work with infrastructure projects like E4 Stockholm Bypass.
She tells us that a format like that is under construction.
Another challenge is that all contractors should participate in working with BIM and to share information. The IT- maturity among the contractors varies though, and everyone does not share the same instinct. The reason may be that the concept and methodology is new to operators in the construction branch.
started from BSAB 96 and supplemented with own codes. The reason is that it has been missing codes on a detailed level which is needed. The coding is important to be able to filtrate the data in the different subprojects such as machine guidance and to automate processes.
Structured data is an important piece in the puzzle.
By using BIM in the Stockholm Bypass project, the gains are many, says Karin.
– We get a better coordination and communication between the technical areas and the contractors, the data flow gets better and the error gets fewer, she explains. The subprojects quality gets higher and it gets easier to focus on the right task in the big information material. Overall, BIM contributes to lower costs.
That has a positive impact on the everyday working life.
– With a well-functioning flow of information which has correct coding, we get safer models. When the construction manager arrives at the construction area he or she knows that the information that is in the tablet is the latest version.
The project gets fewer congestions and timeframes are kept in the giant project.


In an interactive game you work your way through the rooms of a virtual dermatology clinic, interrupted at every turn by randomly chosen questions from the DOIT program. You can set the difficulty of the questions and play either against time or against another player. Depending on the quality of your answers, you may be praised or insulted, but good fun is guaranteed as you learn even more dermatology.


text:
Tag: Jun 22 2017 issue
Reduce, reuse, recycle and… robots?
Mana Parker - June 22, 2017 0
At Alpine Waste and Recycling in Denver, "Clarke" uses its suction cup arm to sort through cartons from the conveyor belt alongside his fellow...
Festival celebrates Latino culture
Ximena Leyte - June 22, 2017 0
On Sunday, June 25, the streets of Longmont will fill with the vibrancy of the different cultures in Latin America and the Caribbean during...
Angela K. Evans - June 22, 2017 1
Most nights, Ana Rodriguez wakes up in a panic; she consistently dreams U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers are knocking on her door....
All the way to the top
Michael Levy - June 22, 2017 0
As he neared the South Summit of Everest, just over 28,700 feet above sea level, Denver-based mountaineer Chris Bombardier was thoroughly worked. "I was so...
The many sides of Reggie Williams
Alvaro Sanchez - June 22, 2017 0
In a bedroom in Nashville, Tennessee, lined with Fleet Foxes and Cowboy Bebop posters sits a sleepy Reggie Williams. A musician from Bradenton, Florida,...
Mandala Infusion is here to serve
Caitlin Rockett - June 22, 2017 0
A string of prayer flags flutter over Mandala Infusion. Even in the oppressive heat, a sense of peace is palpable — seems the prayer...
CMF opening weekend
Peter Alexander - June 22, 2017 0
The opening weekend of the Colorado Music Festival's 40th anniversary season, Thursday, June 29 through Sunday, July 2, will set the pattern for the...
From paraphernalia to high art
Sarah Haas - June 22, 2017 0
There has long existed a divide between high art and craft. Devoid of utility, art is free to speak on its own terms, as...
Pot, booze and fake news
Paul Danish - June 22, 2017 0
The story was a real attention-grabber. It said a study done earlier this year found that 51 percent of California millennials (Californians aged 18-29) were...
Robert on the bus
Dave Kirby - June 22, 2017 2
Discipline Global Mobile, known on the interwebs as DGM, is King Crimson founder and self-admittedly pitiless autocrat Robert Fripp's label and media organization, responsible...
How the West was lost
Matt Cortina - June 22, 2017 0
We started in the land of doggie spas and building contractors — Orange County, California. In an hour we'd be underwater, and then on...
Gary Zeidner - June 22, 2017 0
People from Denver and points beyond can have all their talk about "the bubble" and "The People's Republic of," but the fact is there...

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


text:
by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Two days have passed since that day of lunacy. What a noise and a fuss and a chattering and an uproar there was! And what a welter of unseemliness and disorder and stupidity and bad manners! And I the cause of it all! Yet part of the scene was also ridiculous—at all events to myself it was so. I am not quite sure what was the matter with me—whether I was merely stupefied or whether I purposely broke loose and ran amok. At times my mind seems all confused; while at other times I seem almost to be back in my childhood, at the school desk, and to have done the deed simply out of mischief.
It all came of Polina—yes, of Polina. But for her, there might never have been a fracas. Or perhaps I did the deed in a fit of despair (though it may be foolish of me to think so)? What there is so attractive about her I cannot think. Yet there IS something attractive about her—something passing fair, it would seem. Others besides myself she has driven to distraction. She is tall and straight, and very slim. Her body looks as though it could be tied into a knot, or bent double, like a cord. The imprint of her foot is long and narrow. It is, a maddening imprint—yes, simply a maddening one! And her hair has a reddish tint about it, and her eyes are like cat's eyes—though able also to glance with proud, disdainful mien. On the evening of my first arrival, four months ago, I remember that she was sitting and holding an animated conversation with De Griers in the salon. And the way in which she looked at him was such that later, when I retired to my own room upstairs, I kept fancying that she had smitten him in the face—that she had smitten him right on the cheek, so peculiar had been her look as she stood confronting him. Ever since that evening I have loved her.
But to my tale.
I stepped from the path into the carriage-way, and took my stand in the middle of it. There I awaited the Baron and the Baroness. When they were but a few paces distant from me I took off my hat, and bowed.
I remember that the Baroness was clad in a voluminous silk dress, pale grey in colour, and adorned with flounces and a crinoline and train. Also, she was short and inordinately stout, while her gross, flabby chin completely concealed her neck. Her face was purple, and the little eyes in it had an impudent, malicious expression. Yet she walked as though she were conferring a favour upon everybody by so doing. As for the Baron, he was tall, wizened, bony-faced after the German fashion, spectacled, and, apparently, about forty-five years of age. Also, he had legs which seemed to begin almost at his chest—or, rather, at his chin! Yet, for all his air of peacock-like conceit, his clothes sagged a little, and his face wore a sheepish air which might have passed for profundity.
These details I noted within a space of a few seconds.
At first my bow and the fact that I had my hat in my hand barely caught their attention. The Baron only scowled a little, and the Baroness swept straight on.
"Madame la Baronne," said I, loudly and distinctly—embroidering each word, as it were—"j'ai l'honneur d'etre votre esclave."
Then I bowed again, put on my hat, and walked past the Baron with a rude smile on my face.
Polina had ordered me merely to take off my hat: the bow and the general effrontery were of my own invention. God knows what instigated me to perpetrate the outrage! In my frenzy I felt as though I were walking on air,
"Hein!" ejaculated—or, rather, growled—the Baron as he turned towards me in angry surprise.
I too turned round, and stood waiting in pseudo-courteous expectation. Yet still I wore on my face an impudent smile as I gazed at him. He seemed to hesitate, and his brows contracted to their utmost limits. Every moment his visage was growing darker. The Baroness also turned in my direction, and gazed at me in wrathful perplexity, while some of the passers-by also began to stare at us, and others of them halted outright.
"Hein!" the Baron vociferated again, with a redoubled growl and a note of growing wrath in his voice.
"Ja wohl!" I replied, still looking him in the eyes.
"Sind sie rasend?" he exclaimed, brandishing his stick, and, apparently, beginning to feel nervous. Perhaps it was my costume which intimidated him, for I was well and fashionably dressed, after the manner of a man who belongs to indisputably good society.
"Ja wo-o-ohl!" cried I again with all my might with a longdrawn rolling of the " ohl " sound after the fashion of the Berliners (who constantly use the phrase "Ja wohl!" in conversation, and more or less prolong the syllable "ohl" according as they desire to express different shades of meaning or of mood).
At this the Baron and the Baroness faced sharply about, and almost fled in their alarm. Some of the bystanders gave vent to excited exclamations, and others remained staring at me in astonishment. But I do not remember the details very well.
Wheeling quietly about, I returned in the direction of Polina Alexandrovna. But, when I had got within a hundred paces of her seat, I saw her rise and set out with the children towards the hotel.
At the portico I caught up to her.
"I have perpetrated the—the piece of idiocy," I said as I came level with her.
"Have you? Then you can take the consequences," she replied without so much as looking at me. Then she moved towards the staircase.
I spent the rest of the evening walking in the park. Thence I passed into the forest, and walked on until I found myself in a neighbouring principality. At a wayside restaurant I partook of an omelette and some wine, and was charged for the idyllic repast a thaler and a half.
Not until eleven o'clock did I return home—to find a summons awaiting me from the General.
Our party occupied two suites in the hotel; each of which contained two rooms. The first (the larger suite) comprised a salon and a smoking-room, with, adjoining the latter, the General's study. It was here that he was awaiting me as he stood posed in a majestic attitude beside his writing-table. Lolling on a divan close by was De Griers.
"My good sir," the General began, "may I ask you what this is that you have gone and done?"
"I should be glad," I replied, "if we could come straight to the point. Probably you are referring to my encounter of today with a German?"
"With a German? Why, the German was the Baron Burmergelm—a most important personage! I hear that you have been rude both to him and to the Baroness?"
"No, I have not."
"But I understand that you simply terrified them, my good sir?" shouted the General.
"Not in the least," I replied. "You must know that when I was in Berlin I frequently used to hear the Berliners repeat, and repellently prolong, a certain phrase—namely, 'Ja wohl!'; and, happening to meet this couple in the carriage-drive, I found, for some reason or another, that this phrase suddenly recurred to my memory, and exercised a rousing effect upon my spirits. Moreover, on the three previous occasions that I have met the Baroness she has walked towards me as though I were a worm which could easily be crushed with the foot. Not unnaturally, I too possess a measure of self-respect; wherefore, on THIS occasion I took off my hat, and said politely (yes, I assure you it was said politely): 'Madame, j'ai l'honneur d'etre votre esclave.' Then the Baron turned round, and said 'Hein!'; whereupon I felt moved to ejaculate in answer 'Ja wohl!' Twice I shouted it at him—the first time in an ordinary tone, and the second time with the greatest prolonging of the words of which I was capable. That is all."
I must confess that this puerile explanation gave me great pleasure. I felt a strong desire to overlay the incident with an even added measure of grossness; so, the further I proceeded, the more did the gusto of my proceeding increase.
"You are only making fun of me! " vociferated the General as, turning to the Frenchman, he declared that my bringing about of the incident had been gratuitous. De Griers smiled contemptuously, and shrugged his shoulders.
"Do not think THAT," I put in. "It was not so at all. I grant you that my behaviour was bad—I fully confess that it was so, and make no secret of the fact. I would even go so far as to grant you that my behaviour might well be called stupid and indecent tomfoolery; but, MORE than that it was not. Also, let me tell you that I am very sorry for my conduct. Yet there is one circumstance which, in my eyes, almost absolves me from regret in the matter. Of late—that is to say, for the last two or three weeks—I have been feeling not at all well. That is to say, I have been in a sick, nervous, irritable, fanciful condition, so that I have periodically lost control over myself. For instance, on more than one occasion I have tried to pick a quarrel even with Monsieur le Marquise here; and, under the circumstances, he had no choice but to answer me. In short, I have recently been showing signs of ill-health. Whether the Baroness Burmergelm will take this circumstance into consideration when I come to beg her pardon (for I do intend to make her amends) I do not know; but I doubt if she will, and the less so since, so far as I know, the circumstance is one which, of late, has begun to be abused in the legal world, in that advocates in criminal cases have taken to justifying their clients on the ground that, at the moment of the crime, they (the clients) were unconscious of what they were doing—that, in short, they were out of health. 'My client committed the murder—that is true; but he has no recollection of having committed it.' And doctors actually support these advocates by affirming that there really is such a malady—that there really can arise temporary delusions which make a man remember nothing of a given deed, or only a half or a quarter of it! But the Baron and Baroness are members of an older generation, as well as Prussian Junkers and landowners. To them such a process in the medico-judicial world will be unknown, and therefore, they are the more unlikely to accept any such explanation. What is YOUR opinion about it, General?"
"Enough, sir! " he thundered with barely restrained fury. "Enough, I say! Once and for all I must endeavour to rid myself of you and your impertinence. To justify yourself in the eyes of the Baron and Baroness will be impossible. Any intercourse with you, even though it be confined to a begging of their pardons, they would look upon as a degradation. I may tell you that, on learning that you formed part of, my household, the Baron approached me in the Casino, and demanded of me additional satisfaction. Do you understand, then, what it is that you have entailed upon me—upon ME, my good sir? You have entailed upon me the fact of my being forced to sue humbly to the Baron, and to give him my word of honour that this very day you shall cease to belong to my establishment!"
"Excuse me, General," I interrupted, "but did he make an express point of it that I should 'cease to belong to your establishment,' as you call it?"
"No; I, of my own initiative, thought that I ought to afford him that satisfaction; and, with it he was satisfied. So we must part, good sir. It is my duty to hand over to you forty gulden, three florins, as per the accompanying statement. Here is the money, and here the account, which you are at liberty to verify. Farewell. From henceforth we are strangers. From you I have never had anything but trouble and unpleasantness. I am about to call the landlord, and explain to him that from tomorrow onwards I shall no longer be responsible for your hotel expenses. Also I have the honour to remain your obedient servant."
I took the money and the account (which was indicted in pencil), and, bowing low to the General, said to him very gravely:
"The matter cannot end here. I regret very much that you should have been put to unpleasantness at the Baron's hands; but, the fault (pardon me) is your own. How came you to answer for me to the Baron? And what did you mean by saying that I formed part of your household? I am merely your family tutor—not a son of yours, nor yet your ward, nor a person of any kind for whose acts you need be responsible. I am a judicially competent person, a man of twenty-five years of age, a university graduate, a gentleman, and, until I met yourself, a complete stranger to you. Only my boundless respect for your merits restrains me from demanding satisfaction at your hands, as well as a further explanation as to the reasons which have led you to take it upon yourself to answer for my conduct."
So struck was he with my words that, spreading out his hands, he turned to the Frenchman, and interpreted to him that I had challenged himself (the General) to a duel. The Frenchman laughed aloud.
"Nor do I intend to let the Baron off," I continued calmly, but with not a little discomfiture at De Griers' merriment. "And since you, General, have today been so good as to listen to the Baron's complaints, and to enter into his concerns—since you have made yourself a participator in the affair—I have the honour to inform you that, tomorrow morning at the latest, I shall, in my own name, demand of the said Baron a formal explanation as to the reasons which have led him to disregard the fact that the matter lies between him and myself alone, and to put a slight upon me by referring it to another person, as though I were unworthy to answer for my own conduct."
Then there happened what I had foreseen. The General on hearing of this further intended outrage, showed the white feather.
"What? " he cried. "Do you intend to go on with this damned nonsense? Do you not realise the harm that it is doing me? I beg of you not to laugh at me, sir—not to laugh at me, for we have police authorities here who, out of respect for my rank, and for that of the Baron... In short, sir, I swear to you that I will have you arrested, and marched out of the place, to prevent any further brawling on your part. Do you understand what I say?" He was almost breathless with anger, as well as in a terrible fright.
"General," I replied with that calmness which he never could abide, "one cannot arrest a man for brawling until he has brawled. I have not so much as begun my explanations to the Baron, and you are altogether ignorant as to the form and time which my intended procedure is likely to assume. I wish but to disabuse the Baron of what is, to me, a shameful supposition—namely, that I am under the guardianship of a person who is qualified to exercise control over my free will. It is vain for you to disturb and alarm yourself."
"For God's sake, Alexis Ivanovitch, do put an end to this senseless scheme of yours!" he muttered, but with a sudden change from a truculent tone to one of entreaty as he caught me by the hand. "Do you know what is likely to come of it? Merely further unpleasantness. You will agree with me, I am sure, that at present I ought to move with especial care—yes, with very especial care. You cannot be fully aware of how I am situated. When we leave this place I shall be ready to receive you back into my household; but, for the time being I— Well, I cannot tell you all my reasons." With that he wound up in a despairing voice: " O Alexis Ivanovitch, Alexis Ivanovitch!"
I moved towards the door—begging him to be calm, and promising that everything should be done decently and in order; whereafter I departed.
Russians, when abroad, are over-apt to play the poltroon, to watch all their words, and to wonder what people are thinking of their conduct, or whether such and such a thing is 'comme il faut.' In short, they are over-apt to cosset themselves, and to lay claim to great importance. Always they prefer the form of behaviour which has once and for all become accepted and established. This they will follow slavishly whether in hotels, on promenades, at meetings, or when on a journey. But the General had avowed to me that, over and above such considerations as these, there were circumstances which compelled him to "move with especial care at present", and that the fact had actually made him poor-spirited and a coward—it had made him altogether change his tone towards me. This fact I took into my calculations, and duly noted it, for, of course, he MIGHT apply to the authorities tomorrow, and it behoved me to go carefully.
Yet it was not the General but Polina that I wanted to anger. She had treated me with such cruelty, and had got me into such a hole, that I felt a longing to force her to beseech me to stop. Of course, my tomfoolery might compromise her; yet certain other feelings and desires had begun to form themselves in my brain. If I was never to rank in her eyes as anything but a nonentity, it would not greatly matter if I figured as a draggle-tailed cockerel, and the Baron were to give me a good thrashing; but, the fact was that I desired to have the laugh of them all, and to come out myself unscathed. Let people see what they WOULD see. Let Polina, for once, have a good fright, and be forced to whistle me to heel again. But, however much she might whistle, she should see that I was at least no draggle-tailed cockerel!
I have just received a surprising piece of news. I have just met our chambermaid on the stairs, and been informed by her that Maria Philipovna departed today, by the night train, to stay with a cousin at Carlsbad. What can that mean? The maid declares that Madame packed her trunks early in the day. Yet how is it that no one else seems to have been aware of the circumstance? Or is it that I have been the only person to be unaware of it? Also, the maid has just told me that, three days ago, Maria Philipovna had some high words with the General. I understand, then! Probably the words were concerning Mlle. Blanche. Certainly something decisive is approaching.
Return to the The Gambler Summary Return to the Fyodor Dostoevsky Library