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'Reading Lolita in Tel Aviv': Letters from a Kurd
Ofra Bengio
Through the personal experiences of Mariwan, a Kurdish adolescent, Kae Bahar tells the story of the Kurdish nation's struggle for independence.
"Letters from a Kurd" by Kae Bahar, Yolk Publishing, pp. 418
Letters from a Kurd is the first Kurdish novel published in the English language. Set against the historical and political background of Saddam Hussein's regime in the critical years of 1971-1988, it sketches the life of a Kurdish boy between the age of five and seventeen. Nicknamed Mary, the hero Mariwan Rashaba grows up in oil-rich Kirkuk, in circumstances of severe persecution under Saddam. Measures included Arabization and attempted linguicide through bans on the very use and study of Kurdish not to mention Kurdish literary writing and artistic development. Arabization was a key policy of the Ba'ath, the pan-Arab political party that assumed power in Iraq and Syria in the 1960s. The objective was to force non-Arabs to assume Arab identity and culture and thereby to assimilate them.
From his childhood, Mariwan's life is marked by tragedy. People close to him, including his grandfather and brothers, are killed, suffering terrible and unexplainable deaths. His Christian girlfriend, Aida, is murdered by Abu Ali, one of Saddam's henchmen, for no reason other than sheer cruelty. Over the course of the novel, Mariwan himself becomes a target of the Mukhabarat, Saddam's intelligence services. But despite his young age, he faces them down, and takes his revenge on them.
These painful events are mitigated by Mariwan's ability to escape the grimness of his circumstances into a world of magic and adventure. His budding romantic experiences, and strong friendships with open-minded Kurds and non-Muslim friends such as "Popcorn" — a Yezidi boy harassed by Muslim boys — enrich his life as well. There are also comic interludes: when Shamal, his teacher, discovers Mariwan's artistic talents and introduces him to a new modern world or when Mariwan takes risks to watch forbidden films. Mariwan's passion for cinema permeates the entire book, which itself unfolds like a film.
Through Mariwan's personal experiences Bahar tells the story of the Kurdish nation: its history, its myths, and the unique culture which distinguishes it from the surrounding Arab society. He brings to life fairy tales and myths such as that of the Princess Shawa and interweaves the personal with the historical; an imaginative and thrilling story with political facts. It should be noted that in many ways, Mariwan's story mirrors that of Bahar himself. Born in Kirkuk, Bahar was forced to leave his native city at an early age, self-exile in Britain providing refuge from persecution.
The novel's epigraph is a famous Arab proverb depicting the Kurds as a plague: "There are three plagues in the world: the Kurds, the rat, and the locust." The first scene of the book describes Mariwan presenting a "mirror image" to that of the Kurd: "the ugly Arab." There is a context: in this scene the 16-year-old Mariwan is held in a detention cell and brutally and repeatedly raped by this "the ugly Arab." Traumatized, the young man wishes to die. But somehow, he finds a way to relieve his anguish. He composes an imaginary letter to his hero, "Gringo"—the American actor Clint Eastwood—asking his help in spiriting him from his cell and to his dreamland, America. This is the first of the many letters that Mariwan composes to Gringo, sharing with him his ardent love of cinema as well as his innermost secrets.
These letters signify Mariwan's strong desire to connect to the West and Western culture. They show his belief that in the West, he would be able to enjoy the freedom of artistic activities banned in his conservative Muslim society, and ultimately fulfill his aspirations: to become a film-maker, a dancer, a singer.
Whether consciously or not, through this artistic device the author reflects the long-standing and deep desire of the Kurdish political leadership in Iraq to recruit the support of the United States in its struggle against Baghdad. Already by the 1960s, the legendary Kurdish leader Mullah Mustafa Barzani had attempted to find channels to America, in the belief that only this Great Power could assist the Kurdish people's push for independence. One of these channels was Israel, who had supported the Kurds officially—but clandestinely—between 1965 and 1975. Israel's support was channeled through Iran, since Israel does not share a common border with the Kurdish region. It ended in 1975 after Iran and Iraq signed the Algiers Agreement, which required Iran to stop its support for the Kurds. Consequently Israel was obliged to do the same, without managing to "bring the American support" which the Kurds yearned for so much.
In his personality, Mariwan embodies the clash between tradition and modernity, between religion and atheism, between East and West. His father had wanted him to become a devout Muslim dervish. But very early on, he began to rebel against his strict, dogmatic and demanding parent. Through his passion for music, art, and film, Mariwan was drawn to people who represented opposing poles to the patriarchal, Islamic society of his childhood. These interests kindled his father's wrath; the latter's rejection of modernity is reflected in his brutal destruction of Mariwan's first camera.
The clash between these two disparate worlds prompts interesting philosophical questions concerning religion and God. One recurring question for Mariwan: Where was God when "the monster," Saddam Hussein, inflicted such terrible atrocities on Kurds? Indeed, one of Mariwan's friends likens God to Saddam. Religion, as a whole, is sharply criticized across the text. As the protagonist comments archly: "Religion is the cancer of our people and the main cause of our suffering."
But even when relating Saddam's atrocities, the author does not downplay the Kurds' own flaws, nor does he shy away from criticizing his own "twisted society". The backwardness and cruelty of this society is depicted in the circumcision of Mariwan's five-year-old female friend, leading to her death. Mariwan himself is sexually abused by dervish, leaving deep scars on his psyche. In this traditional society, oppression is the order of the day for women; attitudes to sex are so unhealthy that they sometimes lead to tragedies, such as the suicide of "Papula" (butterfly) —the young and beautiful wife of Mariwan's uncle—who burns herself to death.
But the greatest flaw of this society is the rampant treason of the Kurds themselves. As Mariwan explains, this is the root cause of the Kurd tragedy, their failure to establish a state of their own. The traitors, known among the Kurds as jash—donkeys—are embodied by Abu Ali, Saddam's henchman who mercilessly targets Mariwan and other Kurdish patriots.
Mariwan, his family, and his close friends represent Kurdayeti, Kurdish patriotism. His uncles teach him Kurdish, because "without it, we Kurds would have been wiped out." They also speak about the importance of education, "for gaining freedom, not guns." They give their children Kurdish names, to preserve and develop Kurdish identity and to differentiate them from Arabs. The reader sees Mariwan's own patriotism in his admiration for the Peshmerga, the Kurdish guerrillas; his decision to volunteer to fight in the guerrilla war against Saddam's army, despite his youth; and his call for Kurdish separation from Iraq. In real life, the strength of Kurdish patriotism can be deduced from results of the independence referendum held in the Autonomous Kurdistan Region in September 2017. No less than 93% of the voters supported independence. However, a small Kurdish group co-operated thereafter with domestic and external forces, frustrating this outcome.
The Kurdish patriotism expressed in Letters from a Kurd is reinforced against the background of historical events depicted in the novel, such as the end of the Iran-Iraq War of 1980-1988. Bahar describes the Halabja massacre, in which some 5,000 Kurds were gassed with chemical weapons, and the Anfal campaigns, during which around 180,000 Kurds were murdered by Saddam's army. He also references Kurdish leaders and figures like Mulla Mustafa Barzani and Jalal Talabani. This style of writing moves the novel towards what scholars term faction, a combination of fact and fiction.
Where does Bahar's novel fit in the Kurdish literary scene? On the whole, novels are a quite recent literary endeavor in Kurdish societies. This puzzling fact begs explanation. What are the reasons for the late blooming of Kurdish literature, in an ancient nation representing some 35 million people? What were the sociopolitical factors that impeded its development? Why did Kurdish literature only begin to reach the outside world in the twenty-first century, and very modestly at that?
Kurdish literature, and writing in the Kurdish language in general, has made a very long and intricate journey. In its written form, Kurdish literature is a very recent phenomenon. At the beginning of the twentieth century, only thirty-seven literary works were known to have survived over the course of the language's thousand-year history. As the Kurdish scholar Hashem Ahmadzeh writes, this modest beginning emerged in the Soviet Union, but the books published there had very little readership.
Many obstacles stood in the way of written literary work. The most important is the fact that the Muslim holy book, the Qur'an, is written in Arabic. Beyond this, Kurdish speakers were surrounded by Arabic, Persian and Turkish-speaking neighbors, whose languages were considered to be refined epitomes of high culture, thus influencing the language choices of Kurdish writers. For example, the famous Iraqi Kurdish poets Buland al-Haydari and Salim Barakat wrote in Arabic; the Kurdish Turkish writer Yashar Kemal and the poetess Bejan Matur wrote in Turkish. Yashar Kemal is the most famous Turkish- Kurdish writer. His novel Ince Memed (Memed, My Hawk) was translated into Hebrew in 2009. Bejan Matur writes mainly poetry but she also authored a reportage on the insurgent Kurdish Workers' Party, the PKK.
The Kurdish language itself served as a barrier for the promotion of its literature, since it was only at the end of the 19th century that it took its first steps towards standardization. Worse still, the language is written in three different alphabets, reflecting the Kurds' political fragmentation: the Arabic alphabet in Iraq, Iran and Syria, the Latin alphabet in Turkey and the Kurdish European diaspora, and Cyrillic in the former Soviet Union. But as the poet Selim Temo suggested in a 2016 interview published on the ArabLit portal: "For a long time, no matter which alphabet was used, writing a Kurdish literary text was enough reason to be prosecuted or even killed". All this had negative effects on the spread of the readership.
Kurds consider the 17th century as the epoch of Kurdish revival. While in the West, this was the period in which the novel began its first steps, in Kurdistan it was poetry, mainly oral, which remained the principal medium of literary expression until the twentieth century. The person who most symbolizes this revival is Ahmad Khani (1650-1706), a poet, philosopher and man of religion who sought to turn Kurdish into a written language on a par with Persian and Arabic.
Khani's most renowned literary work is Mem U Zin, which in time became the Kurdish national epic. On one level, it tells the story of the doomed love affair between Mem, from the tribe of Alan, and the Princess Zin, sister of the prince of the rival tribe of Botan, located in today's Turkey. Like Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, the lovers could not consummate their love, dying in tragic circumstances thanks to the machinations of Bakr, the villain of the story. Bakr himself tries to evade the people's wrath by hiding between the lovers' graves. But he is captured and killed; his blood seeps into the ground, and becomes the thorn that continues to separate the lovers. But on a more elemental level, the story symbolizes the situation of the Kurdish people, separated by the Ottoman and Persian empires. Lamenting this situation, Khani expresses the hope that a king will one day arise in Kurdistan, to unite the Kurds and change their destiny.
Khani's call to turn Kurdish into a living, written language continues to reverberate in modern times. However, the challenges faced by the language were even greater in the twentieth century than in Khani's time, as the central governments placed huge obstacles in the path of the very use of the Kurdish language. Turkey, for example, permitted the publication of only six Kurdish-language books between 1923 and 1970. The consequence, according to the Kurds was the linguicide of the Kurdish language.
Notwithstanding these formidable obstacles, Kurdish literature has flourished during the last two decades. In her 2015 book Imagining Kurdistan, Ozlem Belcim Galip suggests that "the first decade of the twenty-first century has been somewhat a golden age for Kurdish literature, particularly the Kurdish novelistic discourse."
The broad autonomy gained by the Kurds of Iraq after the 1991 Gulf War, coupled with the annulment of the Turkish law forbidding the use of Kurdish in the public sphere, contributed greatly to the spread of written Kurdish. Similarly, the expansion of internet access among Kurdish societies now enables Kurds to interact virtually and freely with each other across previously insurmountable "national" boundaries.
No less important was the role played by the Kurdish intelligentsia in the diaspora. They contributed immensely to the spread of Kurdish literary works, particularly in Europe. Many Kurdish intellectuals found refuge in Paris, where they founded "L'institut Kurde," which was very active in promoting Kurdish culture and language in the early 1980s. More recently, Sweden, where many Kurdish works have been written or translated into European languages, has replaced Paris as the "capital" of Kurdish literature. According to Galip, one hundred novels were published in Turkish Kurdistan and the diaspora between 1984 and 2010. Hashem Ahmadzedeh counts that by the second decade of the twenty-first century, the total number of all Kurdish novels had reached three hundred.
Another important project taken up by Kurdish intellectuals was the translation of literary works into foreign languages. Particularly noteworthy was the novel Jan-I Gal ('The Agony of People'), published in French as Mal du Peuple in 1994, almost thirty years after its initial publication. Ibrahim Ahmad, its author, was a Kurdish intellectual and leading political figure in Iraqi Kurdistan in the mid-1950s and 1960s. Banned under the Ba`ath, the original text was popular with young people, only able to read it in secret. Now it can be read freely in Iraq, and has been adapted into a successful film.
In many ways, Bahar's novel fits in the general framework of Kurdish literary writing, blending fiction with history and imbuing it with a strong Kurdish patriotism.
Like Khani, Ahmad combines literary motives with ideological-political ones. The novel's hero is Jwamer, from Sulaymaniyya— once the cradle of Kurdish nationalism. Jwamer was imprisoned for ten years because of his Kurdayeti. On his eventual release from prison, he discovers that his wife died in childbirth and the child died too. The terrible news had been kept from him by his friends and close relatives, because they did not want Jwamar to lose hope while in prison. In any case, the harsh conditions which he found on his release from prison convinced him to join the National Army for Independence. Like Khani, Ahmad emphasizes the historical subservience of Kurds to other nations; he too calls on them to break free from this vicious circle.
As with most nascent national movements, literature has been highly politicized and mobilized for the Kurdish cause. However, under the wide autonomy which the Kurds of Iraq have enjoyed since 1992, Kurdish writing has moved one step forward, authors now daring to criticize the Kurdish government for its corruption, nepotism, and other misdeeds. Before then, such criticism could have cost writers their lives; now it can be found in works of fiction and not just journalism.
A case in point is the novelist Bakhtyar Ali, author of the 2005 novel Gezalnus and the Imaginative Gardens. The novel is an allegorical account that sharply criticizes the current Kurdish regional government. Interestingly, the publisher paid Bakhtyar $25,000 for the publishing rights and printed 10,000 copies of the book—amounts unheard of in Iraqi Kurdistan. In the past, writers were obliged to fund the printing of their own books, due to government censorship and the limited readership.
In many ways then, Bahar's novel fits in the general framework of Kurdish literary writing, blending fiction with history and imbuing it with a strong Kurdish patriotism. The influence of other Kurdish novelists, such as Yashar Kemal and Ali Bakhtyar are evident in Bahar's writing. One also notes the influence of Hiner Saleem, whose novel My Father's Rrifle: A Childhood in Kurdistan has some echoes in Bahar's work. Similarly, Bahar walks in the footsteps of some of his predecessors, in choosing not to write his novel in his mother tongue but (in this case) in English, obviously with a view to reaching a wide readership and bringing the Kurdish voice to the world.
One such audience may be Israeli readers. Kae Bahar, who is also a filmmaker, has already introduced himself to Israeli public through his film "No Friends But The Mountains," screened and discussed in cinematheques across Israel last spring. On the whole, Israelis have displayed great interest in the Kurdish cause. For one thing, there is a large community of Jews of Kurdish origin in Israel. This community maintains links with the Kurds of Iraq, and also serves as a kind of lobby for them here in Israel. For another, the Israeli political leadership—and indeed Israelis and Jews in general—have shown an interest in the Kurdish situation for various historical, strategic, political and moral reasons. As a result, clandestine support and behind-the-scenes relations have been a feature of Israel's links to the Kurds of Iraq since the mid- 1960s.
Still, Kurdish literature has not made inroads into Israel as yet. In part, this is a reflection of the status of the Kurdish novel in the world at large; it also stems from the dearth of knowledge of the literary Kurdish language. It should be mentioned that the Jews of Kurdish origin have not very much contributed to the renaissance of Kurdish literature, mainly because their mother tongue remains Aramaic (By way of comparison, the Jews of Iraq contributed greatly to Arabic literature.) But there are now initiatives in Iraqi Kurdistan for the translation into Kurdish of books written by Israelis or dealing with Israel, examples including the publication of biographies of David Ben- Gurion and Golda Meir. An Israeli who visited the KRG reported that he saw a lot of books about Israel in one of the bookshops and that Golda Meir's biography became a bestseller. This can be explained by the fact that the Kurds look at Israel as a role model, hoping to imitate its success in establishing a state of their own in a very hostile neighborhood.
To sum up, Letters from a Kurd presents an opportunity to get acquainted in depth with Kurdish society and culture, via a literary medium and not merely from short newspaper articles or journalistic reports in the media. When all is said and done, Letters from a Kurd is a lovely, thrilling, and very interesting novel, meriting a Hebrew translation so that it can reach a wider public in Israel beyond English-language readers.
We hope you have enjoyed this article! Unlike many other publications, we do not have a paywall. In order to continue this way, and to make sure that our writers are paid fairly for their work, we are totally reliant on those who can afford to do so, and who care about the Tel Aviv Review of Books, to help support our work. Please consider making a donation. Many thanks!
Ofra Bengio is Professor of Middle East History at Tel Aviv University, and a translator of prose and poetry from Arabic and Turkish. She is a member of the Tel Aviv Review of Books advisory board.
Spring 2019 (13)
TARB Extra (14)
The Prime Ministers: The Juggler
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What is the secret of the enduring success of Benjamin Netanyahu, soon to be Israel's longest-serving prime minister?
'Duel Review': What Happened to the Israeli Left?
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Two reviews, separately written, analyze the factors behind the chronic weakness of the Israeli Left.
Original in Hebrew
'A Translator is First and Foremost a Reader'
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An interview with Jessica Cohen, who was awarded, together with David Grossman, the 2017 Man Booker International Prize for her translation of his book "A Horse Walks into a Bar."
Illiberal Neoliberalism
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Israel's transition into a global economy is a textbook example of how a country can practice globalization without subscribing to any of its stated values.
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On Wednesday, January 27th at 20:00, join us for a special Zoom conversation about the story and social history of hashish with Haggai Ram, author of Intoxicating Zion: A Social History of Hashish in Mandatory Palestine. For full details and registration, please see here.
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Translating a New Generation of Israeli Authors
Tel Aviv Review of Books & Jerusalism are excited to present a special online event featuring TARB editor Olga Kirschbaum in conversation with Man Booker Prize-winning translator Jessica Cohen. The conversation will focus on Jessica's experiences translating a new generation of Israeli authors. Jessica Cohen has translated works by David Grossman, Ronit Matalon, Dorit Rabinyan, Tom Segev, and many more. She was a joint winner of the 2017 Man Booker International Prize for her translation of Grossman's A Horse Walks Into a Bar. She is currently based in Denver, Colorado.
The conversation will take place via Zoom on July 8th at 20:00 Jerusalem Time/13:00 Eastern Time/10:00 Pacific Time. To attend the Zoom meeting you must register for the event. The number of spaces is limited. (Those who register will receive the Zoom link via email.) The event will also be broadcast live through the Jerusalism Facebook Page. For event updates and connected to Jessica's work, please visit the Facebook Event Page
A Conversation with Jessica Cohen
Tel Aviv Review of Books is excited to present a special Zoom event: TARB editor Olga Kirschbaum in conversation with Man Booker Prize-winning translator Jessica Cohen. The conversation will focus on her experiences translating a new generation of Israeli authors. Jessica Cohen has translated works by David Grossman, Ronit Matalon, Dorit Rabinyan, Tom Segev, and many more. She was a joint winner of the 2017 Man Booker International Prize for her translation of Grossman's A Horse Walks Into a Bar. She is currently based in Denver, Colorado.
The conversation will take place via Zoom on July 8th at 20:00 Jerusalem Time/13:00 Eastern Time/10:00 Pacific Time. To register for the event please email telavivreviewofbooks@gmail.com The number of spaces is limited.


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18 March 2022 / SF Politics / Joe Kukura
Former SF Supervisor Jane Kim Hit With Ethics Complaint Over Lobbying Against Controversial SoMa High Rise
That 27-story residential tower slated for a Nordstom's parking lot, which the supervisors shot down last October, has now generated a complaint with the SF Ethics Commission that the district's former supervisor Jane Kim improperly lobbied against it.
When the San Francisco Board of Supervisors rejected a plan last October to build a 27-story residential high-rise in what is currently a Nordstrom's parking lot on Stevenson Street near Sixth Street, there was immediate speculation that the vote was some sort of "payback" against the district's supervisor Matt Haney. Haney had just weeks before declared he was running against former supervisor David Campos for a California state Assembly seat, and six supervisors who'd voted against the project had already endorsed Campos.
"This is at least partly about punishing Matt Haney for running against Campos," SF State political science professor Jason McDaniel told the Chronicle at the time. "They see it as a betrayal."
Tonight the Board voted down a 495 unit housing project in my district on a parking lot on Stevenson/6th.
It was approximately 24% affordable with 100+ affordable units, near transit, w ground floor community space, & extensive neighborhood support from residents & leaders.
— Matt Haney (@MattHaneySF) October 27, 2021
But maybe it was a different former supervisor gaming that vote. The SF Standard reports that a YIMBY-affiliated activist has filed an ethics complaint against District 6's former supervisor Jane Kim for paid lobbying against the project, an alleged violation of local laws barring former public officials from lobbying on projects they'd worked on while in office. Kim has been a paid organizer for TODCO, an affordable housing developer that opposed the Stevenson Street project.
"I think it's a clear pipeline from public power to improper use of knowledge and influence that violates the law to lobby against the project," YIMBY Law board member Steven Buss, who filed the complaint, told the SF Standard.
The ethics investigation of @JaneKim follows a complaint filed by a board member of pro-housing group @yimbylaw.
It's the latest volley in a war over the proposed apartment building on the site of a Nordstrom's parking lot at 469 Stevenson St. in SoMa.https://t.co/P3cKzfS2XV
— The San Francisco Standard (@sfstandard) March 18, 2022
There are certainly receipts tying Kim to TODCO. The Standard reports that Kim called TODCO president John Elberling "10 to 15 times to discuss efforts to halt the apartment project," and that Kim "sent materials to members of the Board of Supervisors that were prepared by a TODCO affiliate and which argued that the project needed to be stopped." There are call logs and calendar invites linking Kim to paid opposition of the project, and she's done paid work for political advocacy groups to whom TODCO has donated.
That said, none of this is explicit proof that Kim broke any laws. I could file an Ethics Commission complaint against a ham sandwich, but that doesn't mean the sandwich did anything illegal. And while the Ethics Commission says in a letter that their "Enforcement and Legal Affairs decision has opened an investigation" into the matter, these things often fizzle out with no wrongdoing found.
And that the complaint was filed by one of the many YIMBY-affiliated groups' premier trolls smacks as San Francisco housing politics as usual. That a lobbying group is complaining about someone else's lobbying certainly has a Spiderman-pointing-at-Spiderman-dot-gif kind of feel to it.
Happy to help hold powerful people accountable when they break the law https://t.co/flK5p7B4sE
— Steven Buss 🥑 🌐 (@sbuss) March 18, 2022
But some of Kim's defenses simply do not pass the smell test. While she acknowledges doing paid work for TODCO, the report notes that "Kim told The Standard that her work in opposition to the project was done on her own time." Which… come on, that is an implausible-sounding defense to those of us who do not work in politics. Kim also played a seemingly irrelevant race card, telling the Standard that "I'm offended that, as an Asian American woman, an older white man can tell her how to think."
Kim then turned the argument against the website itself, and she kind of has a point here: The SF Standard is a new publication funded largely by venture capitalist Michael Moritz, who has donated $40,000 to YIMBY Action, which shares board members with YIMBY Law. The Standard says "Kim compared her and Elberling's situation to that of The Standard and Michael Moritz," without quoting her directly, and she's indicating that if Moritz can keep an ethical arm's-length between himself and the publication, then she can do the same with her own work. But there's a shrewd shiv there in pointing out that the SF Standard is bought and paid for by a Silicon Valley YIMBY guy, which is literally true.
Still, the main issue here is not the SF Standard, it's Jane Kim's alleged lobbying. And there is certainly some "there" there with regards to paid conflicts of interest. It may all technically be legal, but it's yet another side issue to a high-rise development that lost at City Hall, but now seeks to win through lawsuits and legal complaints.
Related: State Agency Threatens Investigation Into Supervisors Rejecting 27-Story Residential Tower [SFist]
Image: JaneKim.org
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redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaCommonCrawl


This contains pages for graves, gravestones, and memorials for literary figures of note. It is our hope that this will provide information for educators, those working on the authors whose graves are included, and also for those who plan to visit literary graves.
We plan to launch this page by December, 2013. This page will feature a grave each week with an accompanying short essay written by a collaborator describing the grave and how it relates to their own scholarly and / or artistic interests.
This will contain pages for pet cemeteries. We hope to launch this by mid-autumn 2013.
Once we have reached critical mass, as it were, we will begin tagging the data gathered thus far, and will begin mapping the data for historical, regional, and conceptual trends.


text:
For the plant species, see Aconitum anthora.
The Anthora is a paper coffee cup design that has become iconic of New York City daily life.[1] Its name is a play on the word amphora.
The cup was originally designed by Leslie Buck of the Sherri Cup Co. in 1963,[1] to appeal to Greek-owned coffee shops in New York City, and was later much copied by other companies.[2] The original Anthora depicts an image of an Ancient Greek amphora, a Greek key design on the top and bottom rim, and the words "WE ARE HAPPY TO SERVE YOU" in an angular typeface resembling ancient Greek, for example with an E resembling a capital sigma ("Σ", a letter pronounced like English "s"). The blue and white colors were inspired by the flag of Greece. The cup subsequently became the metropolitan area's definitive coffee-to-go cup.[2]
Sales of the cup reached 500 million in 1994 (when it was by far the most popular design for the company's cups[3]), but had fallen to about 200 million cups annually by 2005.[1] One New York Times writer in 1995 called the Anthora "perhaps the most successful cup in history".[3] By 2007 it was mentioned in passing in a New York Times television review as "one of those endangered artifacts".[4]
The trademark was acquired by the Solo Cup Company, which licenses sales of the cup.[5] The Anthora coffee cup is featured in movies and television shows that are set in New York such as Goodfellas, The Sopranos, Nurse Jackie, Archer, Brooklyn 99, NYPD Blue, Suits, Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Succession, the Law & Order franchise, Marvel's Daredevil, and Flight of the Conchords.
Buck never made royalties from his design, but as a salesman he was well-remunerated for the success of the product. When he retired from Sherri Cup Co. in 1992, he was presented with 10,000 Anthoras printed with a testimonial inscription. After Buck's death in 2010, a New York Times writer described the motto on the cup as having "welcome intimations of tenderness, succor and humility".[1]
Coffee portal
Solo Cup Company - Sold the Solo 90's Jazz Cup[6]
Dixie Cup
^ a b c d Margalit Fox (April 29, 2010). "Leslie Buck, Designer of Iconic Coffee Cup, Dies at 87". The New York Times.
^ a b John Freeman Gill (June 26, 2005). "Urban History to Go: Black, No Sugar". The New York Times.
^ a b Jesse McKinley (October 15, 1995). "F.Y.I./A Cup of Inspiration". The New York Times.
^ Virginia Heffernan (May 27, 2007). "To Sleep, Nay, Perchance to Stay Wide Awake". The New York Times.
^ The New York First Company
^ Office Depot: Solo Jazz Waxed Paper Cold Cups
Obituary of Leslie Buck, the designer of the Anthora
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Anthora&oldid=932373210"


A controversial tablet displaying the Ten Commandments, located on the grounds of the Texas State Capitol in Austin, Texas, USA.
Does it never occur to so many folks that monotheism–belief in an authoritarian ruler (male, though I don't suppose Gee Oh Dee needs genitalia)–is the locus of totalitarianism?
*Throughout the story the Hebrews are complaining: they are sick of the hardships of the desert and want to go back to Egypt, where they at least ate well, even as slaves. When Moses comes down from the mountain and discovers the people worshiping the Golden Calf (a god they have collectively fashioned out of their own jewelry, rather than an authority imposed from above; and a god for whom the proper obeisance is celebration not sacrifice) his response is to strengthen the priesthood and initiate a purge; three thousand are killed. It takes them forty years to cross two hundred miles of desert, not because the Hebrews have such a lousy sense of direction, but rather because Yahweh and Moses deliberately keep them going in circles until all those who remember Egypt are dead and a new indoctrinated generation has taken over. Only then can they enter the promised land.
26 And Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, Who pertaineth to the Lord? let them come to me. And all the sons of Levi gathered themselves unto him.
27 Then he said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel: Put every man his sword by his side, go to and fro, from gate to gate, through the host, and [m]slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor.
28 So the children of Levi did as Moses had commanded: and there fell of the people the same day about three thousand men.
30 And when the morning came, Moses said unto the people, Ye have committed a grievous crime: but now I will go up to the Lord, if I may pacify him for your sin.
31 Moses therefore went again unto the Lord, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold….
35 So the Lord plagued the people, because they caused Aaron to make the calf which he made.
The Lord plagued them, after he used them to murder a faction of dissenters…lovely book this bible.


text:
from __future__ import absolute_import

from os import environ
from .base import *
from .s3 import *

ALLOWED_HOSTS = ("oshot.hasadna.org.il", ".localshot.org.il", )
SECRET_KEY = os.environ.get('DJANGO_SECRET_KEY')
DEBUG = os.environ.get('DEBUG', False)
TEMPLATE_DEBUG = DEBUG

DATABASES = {
    'default': {
        'ENGINE': 'django.db.backends.postgresql_psycopg2', # Add 'postgresql_psycopg2', 'postgresql', 'mysql', 'sqlite3' or 'oracle'.
        'NAME': 'oshot',                      # Or path to database file if using sqlite3.
        'USER': 'oshot',                      # Not used with sqlite3.
        'PASSWORD': 'oshot',                  # Not used with sqlite3.
        'HOST': '',                      # Set to empty string for localhost. Not used with sqlite3.
        'PORT': '',                      # Set to empty string for default. Not used with sqlite3.
    }
}

EMAIL_HOST = 'localhost'
EMAIL_PORT = 25
EMAIL_HOST_USER = ''
EMAIL_HOST_PASSWORD = ''
EMAIL_USE_TLS = False

ANALYTICS_ID = os.environ.get('ANALYTICS_ID')

ADMINS += [('tbrisker', 'tbrisker@gmail.com') ]
BROKER_URL = 'amqp://guest:guest@localhost:5672/'
CACHES = {
    'default': {
        'BACKEND': 'django.core.cache.backends.memcached.MemcachedCache',
        'LOCATION': '127.0.0.1:11211',
    }
}

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaGithub


Paige Rawl was an ordinary girl.Cheerleader, soccer player, honor roll student. One of the good kids at her middle school. Then, on an unremarkable day, Paige disclosed the one thing that made her "different": her HIV-positive status. Within hours, the bullying began. They called her PAIDS. Left cruel notes on her locker. Talked in whispers about her and mocked her openly. One night, desperate for escape, Paige found herself in front of the medicine cabinet, staring at a bottle of sleeping pills. That could have been the end of her story. Instead, it was only the beginning. In this astonishing memoir, Paige immerses the reader in her experience and tells a story that is both deeply personal and completely universal: a story of one girl overcoming relentless bullying by choosing to be Positive.


Butter – What's for Dinner Moms?
Looking for something to brighten up your weekday breakfasts or Sunday brunch? For the most post we are not big breakfast eaters. Once in a while we will do a big breakfast on the weekend but during the week my son is really the only person that eats breakfast. Usually it is cereal or oatmeal….


Garmeh village is a popular tourist attraction situated 400 km east of Isfahan at the heart of Iran. The village is a fantastic place to walk around; you can enjoy wandering in palm trees gardens. Climbing the nearest mountain or hill to have a good view over the village is also a wonderful things to do.
Isfahan has taken the first place in having numerous ecotourism residences in Iran as it has more than 270 active ecotourism residences.


text:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<!DOCTYPE book PUBLIC "-//OASIS//DTD DocBook MathML Module V1.1b1//EN"
              "http://www.oasis-open.org/docbook/xml/mathml/1.1CR1/dbmathml.dtd">
<refentry id="gluOrtho2D">
    <refmeta>
        <refmetainfo>
            <copyright>
                <year>1991-2006</year>
                <holder>Silicon Graphics, Inc.</holder>
            </copyright>
        </refmetainfo>
        <refentrytitle>gluOrtho2D</refentrytitle>
        <manvolnum>3G</manvolnum>
    </refmeta>
    <refnamediv>
        <refname>gluOrtho2D</refname>
        <refpurpose>define a 2D orthographic projection matrix</refpurpose>
    </refnamediv>
    <refsynopsisdiv><title>C Specification</title>
        <funcsynopsis>
            <funcprototype>
                <funcdef>void <function>gluOrtho2D</function></funcdef>
                <paramdef>GLdouble <parameter>left</parameter></paramdef>
                <paramdef>GLdouble <parameter>right</parameter></paramdef>
                <paramdef>GLdouble <parameter>bottom</parameter></paramdef>
                <paramdef>GLdouble <parameter>top</parameter></paramdef>
            </funcprototype>
        </funcsynopsis>
    </refsynopsisdiv>
    <!-- eqn: ignoring delim $$ -->
    <refsect1 id="parameters"><title>Parameters</title>
        <variablelist>
        <varlistentry>
            <term><parameter>left</parameter></term>
            <term><parameter>right</parameter></term>
            <listitem>
                <para>
                    Specify the coordinates for the left and right vertical clipping planes.
                </para>
            </listitem>
        </varlistentry>
        <varlistentry>
            <term><parameter>bottom</parameter></term>
            <term><parameter>top</parameter></term>
            <listitem>
                <para>
                    Specify the coordinates for the bottom and top horizontal clipping planes.
                </para>
            </listitem>
        </varlistentry>
        </variablelist>
    </refsect1>
    <refsect1 id="description"><title>Description</title>
        <para>
            <function>gluOrtho2D</function> sets up a two-dimensional orthographic viewing region.
            This is equivalent to calling <citerefentry><refentrytitle>glOrtho</refentrytitle></citerefentry> with
            <inlineequation><mml:math>
                <!-- eqn: near  =  -1:-->
                <mml:mrow>
                    <mml:mi mathvariant="italic">near</mml:mi>
                    <mml:mo>=</mml:mo>
                    <mml:mn>-1</mml:mn>
                </mml:mrow>
            </mml:math></inlineequation>
            and
            <inlineequation><mml:math>
                <!-- eqn: far  =  1:-->
                <mml:mrow>
                    <mml:mi mathvariant="italic">far</mml:mi>
                    <mml:mo>=</mml:mo>
                    <mml:mn>1</mml:mn>
                </mml:mrow>
            </mml:math></inlineequation>.
        </para>
    </refsect1>
    <refsect1 id="seealso"><title>See Also</title>
        <para>
            <citerefentry><refentrytitle>glOrtho</refentrytitle></citerefentry>,
            <citerefentry><refentrytitle>gluPerspective</refentrytitle></citerefentry>
        </para>
    </refsect1>
    <refsect1 id="Copyright"><title>Copyright</title>
        <para>
            Copyright <trademark class="copyright"></trademark> 1991-2006
            Silicon Graphics, Inc. This document is licensed under the SGI
            Free Software B License. For details, see
            <ulink url="http://oss.sgi.com/projects/FreeB/">http://oss.sgi.com/projects/FreeB/</ulink>.
        </para>
    </refsect1>
</refentry>


text:
Magda Novels
DARK AMERICANA MEETS POP
Magda Novels is a new international music project by Swedish singer and songwriter Magda Andersson, also part of the pirate band Ye Banished Privateers.
She has been a full time musician for several years and has released four solo records and two singles, she's been part of three Ye Banished Privateers albums and has produced two records for other artists.
Magda Novels is an extension of Magdas artistry so far, a darker alter ego, and for the first time she's performing her own music in english. The sound is americana/pop/rock, First Aid Kit meets PJ Harvey and Patti Smith.
"Magda Novels is my shadow self. She exists because I wanted to explore the more subconscious parts of myself through music, the irrational parts where instincts and dreams come from. If I were to try describing what the music sounds like it would be "dark americana meets pop melodies and a rock n' roll sensation".
In the fall of 2022 Magda announced the new music project together with a crowdfunding campaign in order to fund the release of the first EP and to start creating a fanbase for Magda Novels. The campaign raised 7000 euro and gained a lot of attention, with hundreds of people excited for the upcoming release and following live tour.
The debut EP will release in the end of March 2023 together with a music video, and be followed by an international release tour. The live act consists of a band with four musicians including Magda. The setting is drum kit, electric guitar, keys, acoustic guitar and some backing tracks to create a really full sound.
Thu 9 Mar
Skipinnish
AN OLD FAVORITE IN THE SCOTTISH ROCKSCENE!


text:
Q: Salesforce search setting "Lookup Auto-Completion" not working inside jquery datatable.for page 2 and above for 1st page it's working fine I am using  Salesforce search setting "Lookup Auto-Completion",and i am populating multiple records and for dispaly i used JQuery Datatable.Autocomplete is working for page 1 but not for rest of the pages
this is jquery:

this is my html :

 Financial Accounts

 <apex:repeat value="{!accts}" var="a">
 <apex:inputField value="{!a.Financial_Accounts__c}"/>
 </apex:repeat>

redpajama_set_name: RedPajamaStackExchange


text:
HomeEntertainmentCelebritiesGhislaine Maxwell's appeal is in jeopardy as her estranged husband refuses to...
Ghislaine Maxwell's appeal is in jeopardy as her estranged husband refuses to pay her legal bills
Ghislaine Maxwell's appeal is in jeopardy as her estranged husband refuses to pay her $2 million bill
Ghislaine Maxwell's estranged husband could jeopardize her appeal
Scott Borgerson, 46, has been accused of failing to pay $900,000 in legal bills
He has also been accused of failing to provide a million dollars to challenge her conviction
Maxwell's friends fear he is delaying their divorce and has access to her money
By Daphne Barak for The Mail On Sunday
published: 23:28 GMT, 26 Nov 2022 | Updated: 23:28 GMT, 26 Nov 2022
Ghislaine Maxwell's appeal against her 20-year sentence for sexual assault is in tatters — because her estranged husband has refused to pay her lawyers.
Scott Borgerson, 46, who secretly married 60-year-old Maxwell in 2016, manages her fortune after depositing up to £20 million into a trust fund before her arrest in 2020.
But Borgerson ended the relationship with Maxwell during a phone call to the New York jail where she was awaiting trial.
Now he has been charged with failing to pay a $900,000 legal bill to her defense team and providing the $1 million needed to challenge the conviction.
Until the money is transferred, her legal team is unlikely to meet the January deadline, leaving her to face the prospect that she could die behind bars.
Ghislaine Maxwell pictured with her now-estranged husband Scott Borgerson at an NGO event. Maxwell's friends now fear her attempted appeal could be jeopardized over claims her husband refuses to pay her court costs
Sip and paint hosted in Black Culture Center, focus on mental health | Higher Education
Maxwell's friends fear he is delaying their divorce and her access to money as a bargaining chip.
"He thinks if he drags it out she'll give him the most money," said one. "She's in jail…there's not much she can do from there."
But a legal source said, "He doesn't trust what Maxwell's lawyers tell him."
Who is Daphne Barak?
Daphne Barak is a renowned interviewer and documentary filmmaker whose subjects have included Nelson Mandela, Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson.
Daphne's best-selling book Saving Amy, based on her months of filming with Amy Winehouse and her family, is being adapted into a scripted eight-part TV series by Halcyon Studios.
Daphne's interview with Ghislaine Maxwell will appear later this year on CBS Paramount Plus.
Daphne's latest book, Struggling for One America, written with Erbil Gunasti, is published by Skyhorse Publishing and available for purchase here.
Read her pop culture firsts here.
Maxwell and Borgerson are said to have met in Iceland in 2013.
Her relationship with San Diego billionaire Ted Waitt had faltered and friends say she was vulnerable. Borgerson was still married to his first wife Rebecca, mother of his young son and daughter.
The couple married three years later.
But in 2019, after her boyfriend Jeffrey Epstein was hanged in his cell awaiting trial for sexual assault, Maxwell went into hiding and moved from house to house.
Few knew she and Borgerson were married until prosecutors made a reference to it at her 2020 trial.
"Her brothers were stunned to find out that not only was she married, but she had transferred all of her money to Scott," said a source close to the family.
Touching - or grotesque? The AI gadget that lets you 'talk' to loved ones beyond the grave
He never once visited her in New York jail, friends say, or attended a single trial.
The Colorado law firm of Huddon, Morgan and Foreman, which acted for Maxwell in the lawsuit, filed a lawsuit against her and brother Kevin for nearly $900,000.
Court documents revealed that she received tens of millions of dollars from Epstein and sold her New York home for $15 million.
Borgerson dismissed the claims as "fake news." He pointed to legal testimony from Hudson that he expressed "cooperation, transparency and fairness" in discussions.
Previous articleFamily bringing choregraphed Christmas light show to Billings for 30 years
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text:
Vee - Interactive Teller Machine (ITM)
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Home / Blog / Midwest Heritage Honored by Department of Defense
Midwest Heritage Honored by Department of Defense
posted on Monday, December 19, 2016
Midwest Heritage Honored by Department of Defense for Extraordinary Support of Employees Serving in the Iowa National Guard and Reserve
The Iowa Committee for Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (ESGR), an agency of the Department of Defense, announced today Corey Lockner of Midwest Heritage was honored with a Patriot Award in recognition of extraordinary support of his employee serving in the Iowa National Guard and Reserve.
According to Steve Bogle, Iowa ESGR State Chair, "The Patriotic Employer Award was created by ESGR to publicly recognize individuals who provide outstanding patriotic support and cooperation to their employees, who like the citizen warriors before them, have answered their nation's call to serve. Corey Lockner was nominated for being highly supportive of the Iowa National Guard by his employee, LT Kevin Waldron. Supportive supervisors are critical to maintaining the strength and readiness of the nation's National Guard and Reserve units."
The following is an excerpt from LT Waldron's submission to the Iowa ESGR. "In September 2016, I was activated to help with the floods in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Two weeks prior to being placed on State Active Orders, I had given my employer Midwest Heritage Bank a 3 week notice, I had been offered to work full-time for the Iowa National Guard. Little did I know with only one week left of employment at the bank I was already done. The third week I would spend helping out Iowa citizens in a fight to protect their homes from rising waters. Giving my employer the news on a Sunday afternoon I was expecting them to just let me go early. Instead, I was met with overwhelming support and well-wishes. My former boss Corey Lockner was forced to drop his planned activities for the week to cover my shifts. His willingness to be there in a time like this shows how much character he has. His wife and two children I am sure missed him for the week. For his outstanding support and unwavering commitment to me over the last few years, he deserves this recognition." In response, Corey Lockner said the following about LT Waldron. "I have the utmost respect for Kevin and all of our military men and women. Words cannot express my gratitude for all of the sacrifices they make to protect our freedoms. It was easy for me and Midwest Heritage to accommodate Kevin's scheduling needs knowing what he was doing would make our lives better. Midwest Heritage values all of our military men and women. Kevin was a leader amongst his peers and always demonstrated the highest level of professionalism and respect. It was a privilege to work with him over the years and see him grow not only with Midwest Heritage, but with the National Guard as well. When he decided to make a change in his professional career, I was proud to hear he was using the knowledge he gained from Midwest Heritage and going full time with the National Guard."
Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve, a Department of Defense office, seeks to foster a culture in which all employers support and value the employment and military service of members of the National Guard and Reserve in the United States. ESGR facilitates and promotes a cooperative culture of employer support for National Guard and Reserve service by developing and advocating mutually beneficial initiatives, recognizing outstanding employer support, increasing awareness of applicable laws and policies, resolving potential conflicts between employers and their service members, and acting as the employers' principal advocate within the Department of Defense. Paramount to ESGR's mission is encouraging employment of Guardsmen and Reservists who bring integrity, global perspective and proven leadership to the civilian workforce.
ESGR provides education, consultation, and if necessary, mediation for employers of Guard and Reserve employees. For more information about ESGR Employer Outreach Programs, or ESGR volunteer opportunities, call 1-800-294-6607, Ext 2757, or visit www.ESGR.mil/Iowa.
Youth Heifer Program
Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) Virtual Seminar
Tony Kaska Promoted to VP, Hy-Vee Inc. / Chairman of the Board, CEO and President, Midwest Heritage
Midwest Heritage Donates $16,000 to Non-Profits This Holiday Season
Alert: Text Scam
Back To School Budgeting
Two Iowa banks receive awards for community betterment from the Iowa Bankers Association
Midwest Heritage Nominated for Department of Defense's Top Employer Award


Ohannessian, C. M., & Vannucci, A. (in press). A closer examination of the temporal relationship between self-competence and depressive symptoms during early adolescence. Journal of Early Adolescence.
Simpson, E. G., Vannucci, A., Lincoln, C. R., Ohannessian, C. M. (in press). Perceived stress moderates the impact of internalizing symptoms on family functioning in early adolescence. Journal of Early Adolescence.
Vannucci, A., & Ohannessian, C. M. (2018). Psychometric properties of the Brief Loss of Control Over Eating Scale (LOCES-B) in early adolescents. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 51, 459-464.


text:
PINEDALE COMMUNITY THEATRE
Our Awesome Board
Workshop and Auditions
Mighty Volunteers
Supporting our Supporters
Arts Supporting Arts
Blithe Spirit – Feb. 18-21, 2010
We hope you enjoyed our dinner theatre performance of:
Written by Noël Coward
Performances at the Pinedale Library's Lovatt Room
"A second wife has nothing to fear from a dead first wife – until that woman's ghost shows up to reclaim her husband!" – Leonard Maltin
The smash comedy hit of the London and Broadway stages, this much-revived classic from the playwright of Private Lives offers up the fussy, cantakerous novelist Charles Condomine, re-married but haunted (literally) by the ghost of his late first wife, the clever and insistent Elvira who is called up by a visiting "happy medium", one Madame Arcati. As the (worldly and un-) personalities clash, Charles' current wife Ruth is accidentally killed, "passes over", joins Elvira and the two "blithe spirits" haunt the hapless Charles into perpetuity.
Directed by Diane Springford
A professional actor, Diane trained with the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco and Webber Douglas in London. She holds a B.A. in French Literature and an M.A. in English Literature from the University of London. Since the age of fifteen, she has performed with classical theatre companies in New York, Washington, and California, including the National Shakespeare Company. She is founder of the Wyoming Shakespeare Festival Company , where she also acts and directs. Diane was a 2008 Wyoming Governor's Arts Award winner.
The Cast:
Ken McLaughlin as Charles Condomine, a debonair British novelist.
Marci Reed as Elvira, the cunning ghost of Charles' first wife.
Meggan Hill as Ruth, Charles' jealous second wife (soon to be a ghost).
Barbara Baker as Madame Arcati, the eccentric medium.
Michelle Helm as Edith, the baffled yet indispensable maid.
Mark Kalal as Dr. Bradman, unwitting accomplice to the ghostly goings-on.
Peg Carney as Mrs. Bradman, family friend (and the Doctor's better half).


The kids are finally starting school next week after a two week delay. Usually, I dread the start of school – dragging grumpy teenagers out of bed to get ready for school is nothing I look forward to. However, after the events of the last two weeks when Hurricane Harvey unleashed so much rain on Houston that it's being called a 1,000-year flood event and left a previously unfathomable amount of destruction in its wake, I am appreciating anything resembling normal life right now (and I'm not even having to cope with a flooded home). It will be good for us to get back to a more predictable routine.
Part of our morning routine is getting everyone off to school and work with a good breakfast. Given that it's a weekday and no one is fully awake, it has to be a breakfast that is no fuss and that everyone enjoys. It's no wonder this particular recipe has become my favorite french toast recipe. It has a slightly custardy texture with a bit of sweetness and is a breeze to whip up.
I don't recommend this recipe if you're making French toast for a large crowd though. For large gatherings, I would recommend making a baked French toast like this one. However, for a family of four or fewer, this classic French toast recipe is perfect. You can get all the bread soaked and cooked in a short time, allowing you to sit and join your family at the breakfast table.
A lot of french toast recipes call for a really thick slice of bread. I prefer a thinner slice, especially in this recipe, where the the bread is soaking for only a few minutes. Otherwise, the centers don't get soaked through and get dried out when cooked. Not to mention, it's hard to get thick French toast to cook all the way through while still maintaining a beautiful golden brown exterior. You either end up with raw interiors or burnt exteriors. Not good. Thus, I prefer to cut 1/2-inch thick slices. They soak up just enough batter and puff up beautifully when they're cooked.
Although brioche or challah is my bread of choice for French toast, I have also made this recipe with sour dough bread and it was also delicious.
You can choose how you want to top your French toast. Everyone in my family tops theirs differently. My oldest daughter likes it plain. My husband prefers cinnamon sugar. I like a little maple syrup. My youngest daughter goes all the way with cinnamon sugar AND maple syrup. As long as it gets her out of bed in time for school, I won't protest.
In a shallow baking dish, lightly beat eggs together. Whisk in butter, milk, cream and vanilla; mix together until combined. Add sugar, flour, and salt; continue whisking until mixture is fairly smooth. Set aside.
Heat a heavy non-stick skillet over medium-high heat until hot (To test it, flick a little water into the pan. The water should skitter across the surface.) Swirl a little butter in the hot pan to evenly coat the pan.
Meanwhile, soak 2-3 bread slices in the egg mixture and let soak for 60 seconds. Turn and let soak for 60 seconds more. Carefully lift the soaked bread slices from the batter, letting any excess drip back into the baking dish, and transfer to the hot pan. Cook until browned, about 3 minutes. Turn the slices over and cook until browned on the other side, about 2 minutes more. Transfer the French toast to a warmed platter. Repeat with the remaining batter and bread slices, adding butter to the pan as needed.
Serve with your choice of toppings – powdered sugar, cinnamon sugar, or maple syrup.


text:
Subscribe "Egg" Newsletter
Salmonella behind a quarter of EU outbreaks in 2020 with 20,000 sickened overall
1 month ago | By Food Safety News
Salmonella caused almost a quarter of foodborne outbreaks in Europe in 2020, according to a report.
The main sources of salmonellosis outbreaks were eggs, egg products and pig meat. Norovirus in crustaceans, shellfish, mollusks and products containing them and Listeria monocytogenes in fish and fish products were other agents and food pairs of concern.
A total of 3,086 foodborne outbreaks were reported in 2020 - a 47 percent decrease from 2019 - and 20,017 cases - a 61.3 percent decrease. There were also 1,675 hospitalizations and 34 deaths this past year compared to 4,298 and 60 in 2019...
Egg Fooding Meat Crustacean Food Fish Foodborne Illness Investigations Foodborne Illness Outbreaks World Campylobacter Coronavirus COVID-19 E. coli European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control European Food Safety Authority Listeria Notifiable disease Outbreaks Salmonella


text:
The Analogue Pocket is Bringing Retro Handheld Gaming Back to Life
Analogue's new device looks like a Game Boy Pocket but supports a lot more than Game Boy classics.
News by Mathew Olson, Reporter
Updated on 16 October 2019
Analogue, makers of premium, HD-ready retro gaming hardware like the Mega Sg and Super Nt, are readying their first handheld device. The Analogue Pocket looks like a modern take on a Game Boy Pocket, but early details on the system reveal that it supports games from the entire Game Boy family. When paired with the appropriate adapters, the Pocket will support Game Gear, Neo Geo Pocket Color, and Atari Lynx titles as well.
Design publication Wallpaper* released the first look at the Analogue Pocket. In addition to showing off the Pocket's look and multi-system support, Wallpaper* confirms that the system has a rechargeable USB-C battery, stereo speakers, and mappable buttons. The Pocket will also come preloaded with some form of Nanoloop, the line of music sequencer software designed for use with Game Boy and Game Boy Advance hardware.
A preview of the device from Fast Company gives more specifics on the Pocket's hardware specs. The Pocket can be used with a dock (sold separately) that has an HDMI out, allowing you to play on a television with USB or Bluetooth 8bitdo controllers. The LCD screen on the Pocket is 3.5 inches and supports a 1600x1440 resolution. That's ten times the horizontal and vertical pixel measures of the original Game Boy's display.
Analogue's official website confirms that the Pocket has two Field-Programmable Gate Arrays (FPGAs), allowing developers to develop and port their own cores to the system via microSD. Like Analogue's other systems, using FPGA cores allows for compatibility updates and eliminates the need to produce specially designed chips for the system or source original hardware components, as Analogue did with its original Analogue Nt NES system. That said, the Pocket does include include a Game Boy link port—and, most importantly, a 3.5mm headphone jack.
The Analogue Pocket will cost $199.99 USD and will be released in 2020. Analogue has yet to announce prices or release windows for the Pocket's dock and adapters.
Mathew Olson
Mathew Olson is a writer formerly of Digg, where he blogged and reported about all things under the umbrella of internet culture (including games, of course). He lives in New York, grew up under rain clouds and the influence of numerous games studios in the Pacific Northwest, and will talk your ear off about Half-Life mods, Talking Heads or Twin Peaks if you let him.
76 Million Households Watched Netflix's The Witcher for At Least Two Minutes
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The original soccer anime is bringing arcade action to the West.
Microsoft's xCloud Streaming Service Expands With Destiny 2, Halo: The Master Chief Collection, and More
Microsoft takes a shot at Google Stadia with the addition of Destiny 2.
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The publisher hunts for more differentiation in its games.
PAX South 2020's Indie Highlights Include Airport Dogs, Talking Grapes, and Neo Geo Puzzle Nostalgia
Lots of dogs in Texas this year.
The First English Trailer for the Netflix-Exclusive Remake of Pokemon: Mewtwo Strikes Back is Here
Pikachu tears, now in 3D.
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No more waiting on someone's initial dialogue.
Apple TV's Upcoming Mythic Quest Will Show Crunch "in a Very Real and Big Way"
Mythic Quest might be a workplace comedy, but it'll still touch upon the realities of game development.


text:
Q: Test consistency over different runs/processes with pytest I would like to write a test using pytest which fails when a function has a different outcome on different runs. An easy example would be hash("abc")
On the terminal:
$> python -c 'print(hash("abc"))'
7757446167780988571
$> python -c 'print(hash("abc"))'
-1754122997235049390

However in one run we have of course:
>>> hash("abc")
-2233283646379253139
>>> hash("abc")
-2233283646379253139

How can I write a test (using pytest) that tests the consistency of the outcome of a function using different processes/runs such that it would fail for hash("abc")?
Background is that I'm implementing a DB access function which compares the binary strings of pickled/dilled dictionaries. However these strings will vary from run to run for the same dictionary.
I want to test for consistency because the function should not add to the DB if the dict is already in it..

A: Its a hacked solution but you can use processes to achieve your goal.
import subprocess

def test_hash():
    # Create the command
    cmd = ['python', '-c', 'print(hash("abc"), end="")']

    # Run a sub-process
    other_hash = subprocess.check_output(cmd)

    assert hash('abc') != int(other_hash)

A: Based upon Dov Benyomin Sohacheskis answer, I ended up with the following solution to the more elaborate problem of testing the consistency of a function with test fixtures and all..
I'll post it here because it might be helpful to others as well.
I assume that fixture holds the args and kwargs to the function to be tested.
import tempfile
import dill
import functools
import subprocess

def test_consistency_of_f(fixture):

    args, kwargs = fixture

    f = functools.partial(function_to_be_tested, *args, **kwargs)

    with tempfile.TemporaryDirectory() as td:
        fn = os.path.join(td, 'test.dill')
        with open(fn, 'wb') as fi:
            dill.dump(f, fi)
        cmd = """import dill
with open('{}', 'rb') as fi:
    f=dill.load(fi)
print(f())
""".format(fn)
        cmd = ['python', '-c', cmd]
        s1 = subprocess.check_output(cmd)
        s2 = subprocess.check_output(cmd)
        if not s1 == s2:
            print(1, s1)
            print(2, s2)
        assert s1 == s2


Boasting considered design and fine craftsmanship, the linear lines of the Kirkby will add a sense of contemporary style to any room. Shown here with the modern Venus gas fire. The Kirkby comes complete with halogen lighting as pictured.


text:
from mininet.topo import Topo
from mininet.net import Mininet
from mininet.util import dumpNodeConnections
from mininet.log import setLogLevel

class Khalili(Topo):
    "TCP vs MPTCP khalili et al., 2012"

    def __init__(self,n1,n2,**opts):
        #Initialize Topology
        super(Khalili,self).__init__(**opts)

        #--------------n1---------------
        #Create private switches (MPTCP)
        SWITCHES_MPTCP = [self.addSwitch('sw_mptcp%s' %s) for s in range(1,n1+1)]

        #Create type1 hosts (MPTCP)
        HOSTS_MPTCP = [self.addHost('h%s' % h) for h in range(1,n1+1)]

        #--------------n2---------------_
        #Create streaming Servers (TCP)
        SERVERS_TCP = [self.addHost('serv_tcp%s' %s) for s in range(1,n2+1)]

        #Create streaming switches (TCP)
        HOSTS_TCP = [self.addHost('h_tcp%s' % h) for h in range(1,n2+1)]

        #------------only one----------
        #Create ONE MPTCP Server (MPTCP)
        SERVER_MPTCP = [self.addHost('serv_mptcp1')]

        #Create ONE AP switch (SHARED)
        SWITCH_SHARED = [self.addHost('h_shared1')]

       #-------------Links-------------
       #--left
        #wire up MPTCP hosts and private switches
        for A, B in zip(HOSTS_MPTCP,SWITCHES_MPTCP):
            self.addLink(A,B)

        #wire up MPTCP hosts and shared switch
        for A in HOSTS_MPTCP:
            self.addLink(A,SWITCH_SHARED[0])

        #wire up NON MPTCP HOSTS and shared switch
        for A in HOSTS_TCP:
            self.addLink(A,SWITCH_SHARED[0])

        #--right
        #wire up NON MPTCP HOSTS and NON TCP servers
        for A in CP:
            self.addLink(A,SWITCH_SHARED[0])

def PingTest():
    topo = Khalili(n1=2,n2=2)
    net = Mininet(topo)
    net.start()
    print "Dump"
    #dumpNodeConnections(net.node)
    print "Testing network connectivity"
  #  net.pingAll()
    net.stop()

if __name__ == '__main__':
    # Tell mininet to print useful information
    setLogLevel('info')
    PingTest()


text:
Entain entering eSports betting market via purchase of Unikrn Incorporated
In the United Kingdom and prominent land-based and online sportsbook operator Entain has reportedly inked a deal that is to see it acquire American eSports betting provider Unikrn Incorporated.
According to a Thursday report from the Financial Times newspaper, the London-listed firm revealed that the purchase will cost it around £50 million ($69.1 million), which is to include expenses associated with further developing the acquisition's eSports platform so as to be better able to exploit a market widely considered to be worth approximately £1.4 billion ($2 billion).
Considerable clout:
Previously known as GVC Holdings until undergoing a late-2020 name change, Entain is already responsible for a slew of online casino and sportsbetting domains that include Ladbrokes.com, Bwin.com, Coral.co.uk and Sportingbet.com as well as its home nation's Ladbrokes and Coral-branded chains of high street bookmakers. The newspaper reported that the company will now become the first major gambling enterprise to take a significant step into the eSports and video gaming arenas as regulations in large European markets tighten.
Practiced pioneer:
At the same time as publicizing its imminent purchase of Unikrn Incorporated and Entain reportedly explained that it has hired the former eSports head for live streaming pioneer Twitch, Justin Dellario, to lead its new video games foray. Jette Nygaard-Andersen took over from Shay Segev as Chief Executive Officer for the Isle of Man-based behemoth in January and purportedly described her firm's latest recruit as 'a bit of a rock star' in the industry thanks to his over 15 years of experience in eSports.
Nygaard-Andersen reportedly told the newspaper…
"eSports is a community and the way to succeed here is to grow a business that is already in that community. This is our starting point for building a fully integrated platform for eSports betting."
Lucrative likelihood:
The Financial Times reported that eSports generated advertising revenues in the United States alone last year of around £141 million ($196 million), which equates to a swell of about 37% when compared with 2018's figure of some $103 million ($143 million). Entain itself purportedly forecast that the global interactive gaming market could well be worth more than £14 billion ($20 billion) by the end of 2025 as it becomes ever more attractive to the increasingly tech-savvy 'Generation Z' demographic.
American activities:
Entain is reportedly furthermore eager to ramp up its presence in the lucrative North American sportsbetting market via the Roar Digital enterprise it runs in partnership with prominent casino operator MGM Resorts International. This joint venture is purportedly responsible for the BetMGM-branded online sportsbook that is currently available to punters in twelve states but may have gone live in as many as eight more jurisdictions by this time next year.
The most NERVE-RACKING River! ♠ #Shorts
🔵 $50/Bet PINBALL JACKPOT BONUS ➔ BCSlots Cruise #shorts


One local in the Schnapps Bar at National Park village mentioned a spot on the road to the skifeild at the top of the bruce which was just awesome for sunrises . Lacking the time to check it out the day before as it was already dark when i finished another shoot the alarm was set for another ridiculous hour again so set of with a bunch of mist everywhere . Hmmm … this is great but always looking for a plus still kept going anyways . Found what i thought the informative local was describing and set up . Bit chilly … its a mountain you know .
Well … that all went well .
© All images copyright of Muzz Handley Photography.


text:
Bookmanlit
Editorials/Letters
Pastè Tousen Kreyòl
Pastè Gregory Toussaint
2016 US Elections
2015 Haiti Elections
Extend TPS 2017
Facebook Conversation
Myths in Haitian History
Nanchon Ginen
Lakou Lasyans
Tab Alfabetizasyon Kreyòl
Lanmou pou Lasyans
Kouraj Man Fanm
Lakou Grandye
Fèt Manman
Wonders of Haiti
Mountain Fortresses
Mizik
Eritaj
Divine Dance
Aquin
Rebati Pestel
Challenges Facing Haiti
Manje/Food
Dlo Pwop/Sanitation
Kouran/Electricity
Sante/Healthcare
Sekirite/Security
Edikasyon/Education
Lojman/Housing
Wout/Roads
Lajan/Money
Invest in Haiti
Green Haiti
Haitian Organic Market
Earthquake Memorial
Haiti Will Survive
Will Haiti Change
FAQs/ About Us
Gift/Bookstore
Petrocaribe: What happened to the funds?
Li an Kreyòl
Caribbean countries spend approximately 13% of their Gross National Product on the importation of fuel. This represents an enormous burden on their economies making Caribbean residents extremely sensitive to fluctuations of gasoline prices. This was made evident in the violent protests that erupted in Haiti in July 2018 when the government attempted to raise gas prices to curb the national deficit. Such challenges presented the late president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, an opportunity to spread his influence in the Caribbean and in Central America by offering these countries more favorable terms for importing fuel.
In 2000, President Rene Preval considered Venezuela's proposal as mutually beneficial and signed Chavez' Caracas Accord. This accord was also signed by the leaders of Belize, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Jamaica, Nicaragua, and Panama. This set the stage for a Caribbean and Central American agreement which would not be implemented until 5 years later. In 2005, Chavez met with leaders of 14 countries who agreed to participate in what would become known as Petrocaribe. Haiti was absent for the 2005 meeting. The transitional government of Latortue/ Boniface did not participate. It wasn't until 2007, when Rene Preval regained the presidency, that the collaboration with Chavez resumed and Haiti became a participating member of Petrocaribe. By 2017, Petrocaribe had grown to include 19 countries.
President Preval's efforts to have Haiti participate in Petrocaribe began in 2006, but the US government along with Exxon Mobil and Texaco Chevron tried to sabotage those efforts. American petroleum companies control as much as 50% of fuel distribution in Haiti. Repeatedly, these companies made it clear to President Preval that they would not purchase Venezuelan gas from the Haitian government. On April 28, 2006, the US Ambassador to Haiti, Sanderson stated that Preval assured the US government that he had no special liking for Chavez but the advantages of Petrocaribe were simply too good for him to ignore the opportunity that it presented for Haiti. Wikileaks documents revealed that Sanderson acknowledged that Haiti would save 100 million dollars annually through its participation in Petrocaribe. Nonetheless, in a letter dated April 11, 2006, the ambassador wrote to Preval to inform him that any accord with Chavez would create problems with the US.
The Petrocaribe agreement permitted member nations to buy Venezuelan petroleum at a discount. When the price of a barrel of petroleum exceeded 40 dollars on the world market, member nations would have 90 days to pay 60% of the price of the petroleum obtained from Venezuela. They would have 25 years to make payments on the remaining 40% at an annual interest rate of 1%. If the price of petroleum were to fall below 40 dollars per barrel, then the interest rate and term of the debt would change to 2% interest over 17 years.
Participating countries could also pay with other assets. Venezuela was flexible in accepting goods other than cash payments. For example, the Dominican Republic made some of its payments with cement. Venezuelan petroleum largess was possible because according to OPEC, it has the world's largest oil reserves and most of its oil is exported to non Petrocaribe nations. China, India, and The United States receive 80% of Venezuelan annual oil production. The total amount of petroleum exported to Petrocaribe nations accounted for only 5% of Venezuelan total annual oil production.
After the Haitian Parliament finally ratified the Petrocaribe agreement in 2007, President Preval made structural changes in the management of the country's oil imports to facilitate the implementation of the agreement. He changed the name of the office that would administer the plan from PL-480 to the Center for Monetization. This center bore the task of organizing how the Petrocaribe oil would be sold. The Center for Monetization sold the oil to the private sector which in turn sold it to oil companies operating in Haiti. As its name indicates, the Center for Monetization sold and thereby converted the Venezuelan oil to money. Haiti's Prime Minister was responsible for determining how the proceeds would be spent.
It's important to point out that Haiti never received any funds directly from Petrocaribe. Instead, Haiti brought fuel through an agreement that allowed it to delay a portion of the payment which it could then use on development projects. This debt would have to be repaid over 17 or 25 years depending on the purchased price of the oil.
Daily price fluctuations make it difficult to determine how much it cost Haiti on any given month to buy Venezuelan oil. In addition, the price at which the government sells the oil to the private sector also varied. Without accurate daily records from the Center of Monetization, it is nearly impossible to follow how much the oil cost the government and how much it made on selling it.
By January, 2010, Haiti owed Venezuela 295 million US dollars of Petrocaribe payments, but the Earthquake of 2010 led Venezuela to cancel this debt. However, despite this annulment, a Senate report showed that the Center for Monetization continued to claim that it had continued to service this debt. Between 2010 and 2018, the Haitian government has accumulated 2 billion dollars of debt to the Venezuelan government.
The Senate report went on to say that although the government dispensed large sums of money acquired from the sell of oil from Petrocaribe, many projects never materialized. For example, the report accused Senator Bautista, a Dominican politician who often financed electoral campaigns in Haiti of having received no-bid-contracts worth approximately 200 million dollars for projects which were either never completed or never executed. Bautista's company which received the contract has since dissolved. Today, the American government has intervened and taken sanctions against Bautista for his corruption. His assets in the US have been seized and his VISA terminated.
Between 2006 and 2016, the Haitian government issued 1.6 billion dollars of no-bid-contracts. This means that the government made no effort to hire the best and least expensive companies. Such approach to the dispensing of public funds raises suspicion for corruption as it leaves the possibility for rewarding cronies with government largess ensured by kickbacks.
In 2013, the Venezuelan ambassador, Pedro Antonio Canino Gonzalez said that under contract with anonymous Venezuelan companies, the Petrocaribe funds were well spent. Recently, Reginald Boulos denounced this statement by pointing out that Venezuela cannot be at once creditor, consumer and reporter. In view of this irregularity, Reginald Boulos proposed that Haiti cease all payments on the Petrocaribe debt so that the government can also investigate Venezuela's role in the corrupt use of the Petrocaribe funds.
Despite the irregularities in awarded contracts documented by the Senate report, in 2014, the IMF admitted that Petrocaribe had a positive impact on Haiti, permitting its national production to grow to 4.1%. During that year, Venezuela sent 120,000 less barrels of oil to Haiti, forcing the country to turn to Trinidad to make up the difference. According to the Miami Herald, Haiti entered into dubious arrangements with Trinidadian officials that involved multiple anonymous companies with sham board of directors and high ranking Haitian officials as shareowners. Their proceeds were then deposited in a Panamanian bank as revealed by the Panama Papers of 2016.
After 2014, oil from Trinidad was no longer critical. The amount of oil imported from Venezuela increased. By 2015, although Haiti was to receive 14 barrels of oil per day, it actually received 21 barrels a day. In an effort to offset the influence of Chavez in the Caribbean, the Obama administration promised to help Caribbean countries exploit renewable energy sources. Today, the current US administration has made no such promise. Caribbean nations continue to rely on Petrocaribe, viewing Venezuela's current economic difficulties as an opportune moment to refinance their debt. Jamaica, for example, has been able to eliminate its 3.2 billion dollar debt by offering Venezuela just 1.5 billion.
In February 2018, as the United Nations was discussing the impact of the cholera it introduced into Haiti, Susan Page, the representative of the UN in Haiti encouraged investigations of funds raised from Petrocaribe oil. President Jovenel Moise boycotted the UN- Cholera meeting arguing that it was impertinent of the UN to suggest such an investigation.
A Senate investigation showed that after several hurricanes and a disastrous earthquake, the administrations of Rene Preval and of Michelle Martelly declared Haiti to be in a state of emergency necessitating those in charge to have quick access to public funds. This access was facilitated by the fact that funds obtained from the selling of Petrocaribe oil were not a line item in the national budget. Only the executive branch had oversight on this funding source, explaining why for years, the general public was unaware of the massive debt accumulating. The Senate report showed that after a total of 1.6 billion dollars allocated by the government from Petrocaribe funds, Haiti has very little to show for it beside a debt to Venezuela of nearly 2 billion dollars.
Today, the population of Haiti is demanding to know the whereabouts of the Petrocaribe funds. On social media and on the streets, people are calling for accountability. In a comment made on Twitter on August 14, Gilbert Mirambeau Jr. urged the population of Haiti to ask the government, where is the money? Later on Twitter, the artist Valckensy Dessin, nicknamed K-Lib, supported Mirambeau's initial tweet and called it the Petro Challenge. Since August 2018, the Petro Challenge has gone beyond social media and has materialized on the streets of Haiti where marchers are demanding answers from the government.
Whether due to incompetent government oversight or to outright theft, marchers are shouting to authorities that they will not use their hard earned cash to pay for money squandered from the national treasury:
Non, non non, nou pap peye, nou pap peye lajan Petwo. Si pou n peye lajan Petwo, fòk tout vole al lan prizon.
No, No, No. We are not paying. We are not paying the Petro debt. If we must pay the Petro debt, then all thieves must be arrested.
A special thanks to Mr Georges Daniel who provided us some important references and shared his perspective on Petrocaribe
1. What is Petro Caribe, May 10 2013. Americas Society Council of the AmericasWikiLeaks Haiti: The PetroCaribe Files
2. How the US Tried-and failed-to scuttle a Venezuelan oil deal even though it would bring huge benefit to Haiti's impoverished people. Dan Coughlin adn Kim Ives. June 1, 2011
3. Report to the IMF on Petrocaribe. Frank Fuentes Brito, Dominican Republic's Representative at the IMF & Senior Advisor to the Executive Director of the Brazilian Constituency. January 2017
4. Haiti, U.N. clash over probe into alleged misuse of the Petrocaribe funds. Joseph Guyler Delva . Reuters. January 28, 2018
5. Where did the money go? Haitians denounce corruption in social media campaign. Jacqueline Charles. Miami Herald. August 23, 2018
6. Dominican senator accused of ripping off Haiti sanctioned by Trump administration. Jacqueline Charles. Miami Herald. June 12, 2018
7. Reginald Boulos propose L'arrèt du paiement de la dette Petrocaribe. Le Nouveliste, 9 Septembre 2018.
Published by Bookmanlit on September 9th, 2018
Davie, Florida 33329-0464
E-mail: info@bookmanlit.com
Literature for the Bicentennial Generation


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I adore Christmas stories and second chance at love stories; how wonderful to get a twofer! That it is a novella makes it sweeter because the angst and tension are in the past as we can get right to the second chance. Ms. Collins does a lovely job of giving us just enough background to want to see Merry and Alex get together. As the past wrongs are righted the second chance is even sweeter. The pace is perfect with a bit of drama thrown in to stratify you that love is firmly entrenched and others have a chance at their own HEA. The surprise Alex had for Merry at the end had me misting up. Well Done!
The blurb for the book does an excellent job of giving you a good grasp of the story's concept. The years lost because of manipulation and pride are explained in a straightforward manner. The courage Merry shows in the bearding of the dragon is fabulous. As the explanations come out we see a transformation in one of Alex's loved ones that starts to make you NOT as angry or frustrated with their previous behavior. Alex and Merry's second chance is sweet and there was an opening for another story that I am hoping we will see. This was a lovely afternoon's read, thank you Ms. Collins.
The only one I can think of is the fake holiday engagement, that ends up a real romance and wedding.
What can I say but a snowstorm bringing the H/H together is the best Holiday read for me. Sort of like this novella! BTW, is this book a stand alone or is it part of a bigger series?
One of my favorite holiday romances is His Mistress by Christmas by Victoria Alexander. Thanks for the review!
I don't really have a favorite. One of them, though, is The Christmas Countess by Adrienne Basso.


text:
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
'David's head expanding when contemplating all the possible jokes he can tell every night about Bill Clinton and O.J. Simposon!'
666 A.C. to 6669 D.C
Amount Employees Slept With
15.6 more then Wilt Chamberlain
Amount of jokes told about O.J. Simpson
Amount of jokes recycled about O.J. Simpson again
11,673,900,789,654
Amount of jokes told about Rosie O'Donnell
950 lbs worth
Amount of jokes told about Rosie O'Donnell that were actually funny
Amount of jokes told about Bill Clinton
Amount of jokes told about Bill Clinton having sex with Monica Lewinsky
calculator exploded when giving final result
Amount of jokes told about Dick Cheney shooting someone
lost count after 1,990,000
Amount of jokes told about "that thing on Donald Trump's head"
way too many
Amount of jokes told about Osama Bin Laden & Al-Qaeda
Enough to go multi-platinum with
Amount of total jokes all together told that where funny
Amount of jokes that aren't funny
All Episodes between 1985 to 2010
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about David Letterman.
The faux patriot snake handlers at Conservapedia have an even funnier article about David Letterman.
"Least the intern he banged didn't save the stained dress"
"It's no surprise he slept with an employee, how do you think Paul Shaffer and CBS orchestra got the gig?"
~ That trumpet player in the band that looks like Ron Jeremy
1 The Late Dave Show
2 Before Sleeping With Employees
2.1 LIVE FROM NEW YORK
3 Regular Segments
4 The Late Show Top 10
5 Late Show Trivia
The Late Dave Show[edit]
David Letterman is the host of the CBS late night variety show called, "The Late Show With David Letterman" and is also a part time postman for Western Union, a self proclaimed greatest ever greeter Walmart has ever seen, and holds the world record for most times a jacket has been buttoned up and then unbuttoned repeatedly during a 55 minute time slot.
In 1885 David took over from Johnny Carson as the #1 POOOOOOP on American and Cincinnati television. Dave was chosen himself by Johnny Carson as his second choice to take over his position, his first choice was Jay Leno but Jay's enormous chin would not fit between the entrance doors to the the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City so Dave got the contract.
Before Sleeping With Employees[edit]
Here is usually a good place to write about someone's full name and talk a little about the person's childhood & family, as well as things he did before becoming an international celebrity. But seeing as how no one really cares to know, we felt no need to include one and just jump straight into the life you know him as today.
LIVE FROM NEW YORK[edit]
Since the time The Late Show began, Dave has interviewed even more celebrities than employees he has slept with (believe it or not, though the figures for each are close) and has interviewed many of the world's most renowned names and celebrity persona ranging from actors, musicians, politicians, Media Personalities, & aliens. And then people that an audience could live without ever knowing about such as, Dave's Mom, Dave's Tailor, Dave's personal Gynecologist, Little Fat Kids, Cafe Workers and weird people who do things like sticking their thumb inside their pets' orifices to make them yelp to music to make it seem like they are singing to a silly song.
The show will also contain regular segments that each have a catchy theme tune to them played by Dave's real life gay lover Paul Shaffer & the PMS orchestra.
Regular Segments[edit]
Stupid Dumb Tricks where Dave invites losers from all over the country to come into the studio and do something completely retarded to fill in 5 minutes before cutting to footage of the dumb video of the week that will be played on average 75 times a show for the next 15 weeks.
The Subtitled Pictures where Dave will hold up a newspaper clipping or picture from a magazine and try to add a humorous title to it, then flip it on the floor behind him where he keeps a group of kidnapped employees tied up to receive a nasty paper cut for not wanting to sleep with him.
Know Your Cuts Of Meat which is just an excuse to go into the audience and ask where they are from, so the audience can chant out and clap like anyone cares if they are proud to be from somewhere like Rhode Island. This game was however later added to the initiation process for Freebutcher pledges by Dave himself, who is a memeber of the Freebutchers.
Christmas Throw happens every year just before Christmas when Dave will throw a football at the stupid object they have put on top of the tree, and bore an audience to death for 10 minutes while he and the guest show their lack of sporting ability.
Animal Planet where Dave invites a retarded Animal keeper on the show to bring in a bird or monkey in diapers to look cute for ratings while the keeper is oblivious to Dave making him look like a moron on live television.
Watering Pedestrians every year without fail when summer comes along, Dave will play the previous year's footage of squirting pedestrians with a hose on the streets of NY. But the most famous of them all is...
The Top 10 List where Dave will read out a top 10 list based on current events, which are never really funny at all, but the audience is bribed with a coupon for a buy 1 get one free hooker at Central Park that Dave's mother works as the head mistress.
Staff and special guests walk-throughs, when the set is invaded randomly for them to talk to Letterman, who randomly talks back.
Booth announcer interuptions with Allan Clutter also often randomly announcing something and, when a camera then shows him, he is dressed as a lion tamer, ballet dancer, or baby, or he is holding a gun to his head.
Hello Deli competitions, with street-bums being brought into a nearby shop to appear with the owner, Rupert Jeez.
Audience Giving Useless Applause this game is played almost nightly. The audience receives a signed photo of Dave banging Sarah Palin on the CBS news desk, provided they play along with the game. The game is to give as many useless rounds of applause as they can whenever someone mentions they worked with an actor that everyone knows, particularly award winners and old farts that have croaked in the past 10 years. Other ways to win are when someone on the show mentions they are going to/already have or are even thinking about having a baby, or whenever anyone mentions they are getting married/just got married or have been married for such and such amount of years. This is all a prank Dave likes to play on home viewers to make them wonder why these people get a round of applause for doing something any old average-Joe can do. But hey, seeing an uncensored pic of Letterman nailin' Pailin is worth going along with the stupid idea!!!
The Late Show Top 10[edit]
Ticket to see the Late Show... $35.70
Payment for laughing at jokes.... $complimentary T-shirt.
Having the chance to stand on the desk and urinate into Dave's mouth..... Priceless!!
The Top Ten Things You Always See On The Letterman Show.
10. Dave finishing off his introduction and then asking, "Is he there?" like spotting a little bald gay man dressed like Elton John is hard to miss.
09. Dave making remarks about the rats at Dunkin Donuts.
08. Mention of Bernie Madoff.
07. Rupert G not laughing at Dave's jokes 'cause he can't see the applause sign from the "Hello Deli".
06. When a guest first comes out, Dave will whisper into there ear, "Laugh when the audience does, the applause sign is not visible from this side of the stage".
05. Mention of baseball that only Americans care about.
04. Expect a recycled joke every night about Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton, Osama Bin Larden or O.J. Simpson, and the audience still paying too much attention to that frigging applause sign.
03. If a joke actually works for the show, expect the Late Show to repeat it every night for the next 2 months. If the joke doesn't work, it will still be re-told every night for 2 months anyway.
02. David coming out and undoing his buttons on his jacket, then doing it back up, then undoing it, then doing it back up again till he undoes it to sit down.
01. The #1 in the "top ten" always sucks. So to keep with the tradition, so does this one.
Dave's Dad, because really, the mom jokes are in poor taste
Late Show Trivia[edit]
Dave owns many sets of pants that are kept, worldwide, in case of need, in train station lockers numbered 7.
Jay Leno is a secret fan, to the extent that he flew from LA to NY and snuck into the 4 February 2010 taping of Letterman's show in disguise as a comedian.
Letterman's life support machine is maintained by staff member, Tony Mender.
Dave has 3 children with his wife Paul Shaffer. All of them boys. Their names are Larry, Curly and Baldy, named after their parents.
Felecia Collins is the guitar player of the PMS orchestra, not Lenny Kravits as most people believe.
Biff Henderson was a miss universe runner up in 1983.
Dave slept with <insert name here>'s mom in 1998.
Richard Simmons refuses to be a guest on the show since Dave insulted him by calling him heterosexual.
Employee of the months get bonus points for swallowing
Dave's yearly summer joke of spraying water on pedestrians outside the Ed Sullivan theater was never funny to begin with.
Stephenie is the daughter of Vince McMahon.
The guy in the PMS orchestra on trumpet that looks like Ron Jeremy actually IS Ron Jeremy.
In order to remain relevent, the show is taped the day after it airs, and the PMS time machine delivers it to the network on the afternoon it airs.
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