And if it all goes for nothing -- as so many sacrifices seem to go for nothing -- he will be brokenhearted , for he is n't old enough to understand that God does n't answer our prayers just as we hope -- and does n't make bargains with us when we yield something we love up to Him . '' 24th September 1918 `` I have been kneeling at my window in the moonshine for a long time , just thanking God over and over again . The joy of last night and today has been so great that it seemed half pain -- as if our hearts were n't big enough to hold it . `` Last night I was sitting here in my room at eleven o'clock writing a letter to Shirley . Every one else was in bed , except father , who was out . I heard the telephone ring and I ran out to the hall to answer it , before it should waken mother . It was long-distance calling , and when I answered it said ` This is the telegraph Company 's office in Charlottetown . There is an overseas cable for Dr. Blythe . ' `` I thought of Shirley -- my heart stood still -- and then I heard him saying , ` It 's from Holland . ' `` The message was , ` Just arrived . Escaped from Germany . Quite well . Writing . James Blythe . ' `` I did n't faint or fall or scream . I did n't feel glad or surprised . I did n't feel anything . I felt numb , just as I did when I heard Walter had enlisted . I hung up the receiver and turned round . Mother was standing in her doorway .
She wore her old rose kimono , and her hair was hanging down her back XXXXX a long thick braid , and her eyes were shining .
as at before except for if in over that to