Father seemed to be afraid of him -- I had never seen him afraid of anybody before . I could not think much about anybody except Mother then , but I knew I did not quite like Captain Harmon , although he was very polite to me and I suppose might have been called handsome . One day Father came to me and told me I must marry Captain Harmon . I laughed at the idea at first but when I looked at Father 's face I did not laugh . It was all white and drawn . He implored me to marry Captain Harmon . He said if I did not it would mean shame and disgrace for us all -- that Captain Harmon had some hold on him and would tell what he knew if I did not marry him . I do n't know what it was but it must have been something dreadful . And he said it would kill Mother . I knew it would , and that was what drove me to consent at last . Oh , I ca n't tell you what I suffered . I was only seventeen and there was nobody to advise me . One day Father and Captain Harmon and I went down the lake to Crosse Harbour and we were married there . As soon as the ceremony was over , Captain Harmon had to sail in his vessel . He was going to China . Father and I came back home . Nobody knew -- not even Emily . He said we must not tell Mother until she was better . But she was never better . She only lived three months more -- she lived them happily and at rest .
When I think of that , I am not sorry XXXXX what I did .
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