very softly . There were tears in his eyes . He did not wait for Uncle William to come down , but went to Monkshead himself the next day . In the spring Alberta is to go and live with Uncle William . She is making a supply of dusters now . And next Christmas we are going to have a grand family reunion at the old homestead . Mistakes are not always bad . The Genesis of the Doughnut Club When John Henry died there seemed to be nothing for me to do but pack up and go back east . I did n't want to do it , but forty-five years of sojourning in this world have taught me that a body has to do a good many things she does n't want to do , and that most of them turn out to be for the best in the long run . But I knew perfectly well that it was n't best for me or anybody else that I should go back to live with William and Susanna , and I could n't think what Providence was about when things seemed to point that way . I wanted to stay in Carleton . I loved the big , straggling , bustling little town that always reminded me of a lanky , overgrown schoolboy , all arms and legs , but full to the brim with enthusiasm and splendid ideas . I knew Carleton was bound to grow into a magnificent city , and I wanted to be there and see it grow and watch it develop ; and I loved the whole big , breezy golden west , with the rush and tingle of its young life . And , more than all , I loved my boys , and what I was going to do without them or they without me was more than I knew , though I tried to think Providence might know . But there was no place in Carleton for me ; the only thing to do was to go back east , and I knew that all the time , even when I was desperately praying that I might find a way to remain . There 's not much comfort , or help either , praying one way and believing another . I 'd lived down east in Northfield all my life -- until five years ago -- lived with my brother William and his wife . Northfield was a little pinched-up village where everybody knew more about you than you did about yourself , and you could n't turn around without being commented upon . William and Susanna were kind to me , but I was just the old maid sister , of no importance to anybody , and I never felt as if I were really living . I was simply vegetating on , and would n't be missed by a single soul if I died .
It is a horrible feeling , but I did n't expect it would ever be any different , and I had made up my mind that when I died I would have the word `` Wasted '' carved XXXXX my tombstone .
In about at for of on than though to until