How you must despise me ! '' `` No , '' he said , with a grim smile , `` if I did it would be easier for me . I might not love you then . Do n't distress yourself , Katherine . I do not deny that I feel greatly hurt and disappointed , but I am glad you have been true to yourself at last . Do n't cry , dear . '' `` You 're very good , '' I answered disconsolately , `` but all the same the fact remains that I have behaved disgracefully to you , and I know you think so . Oh , Mr. Sinclair , please , please , go away . I feel so miserably ashamed of myself that I can not look you in the face . '' `` I am going , dear , '' he said gently . `` I know all this must be very painful to you , but it is not easy for me , either . '' `` Can you forgive me ? '' I said wistfully . `` Yes , my dear , completely . Do not let yourself be unhappy over this . Remember that I will always be your friend . Goodbye . '' He held out his hand and gave mine an earnest clasp . Then he went away . I remained in the drawing-room , partly because I wanted to finish out my cry , and partly because , miserable coward that I was , I did n't dare face Alicia .
Finally she came in , her face wreathed XXXXX anticipatory smiles .
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