I asked . `` Yes , I suppose so , '' said Sidney absently . I could see he was n't thinking of me at all . I wondered if he were thinking of Mrs. Rennie . * * * * * April Sixth . Oh , something so wonderful has happened . I can hardly believe it . There are moments when I quake with the fear that it is all a dream . I wonder if I can really be the same Cornelia Marshall I was yesterday . No , I 'm not the same ... and the difference is so blessed . Oh , I 'm so happy ! My heart bubbles over with happiness and song . It 's so wonderful and lovely to be a woman and know it and know that other people know it . You dear diary , you were made for this moment ... I shall write all about it in you and so fulfil your destiny . And then I shall put you away and never write anything more in you , because I shall not need you ... I shall have Sidney . Last night I was all alone in the house ... and I was so lonely and miserable . I put my chin on my hands and I thought ... and thought ... and thought . I imagined Sidney at the Greaves ' , talking to Mrs. Rennie with that velvety smile in his eyes . I could see her , graceful and white , in her trailing , clinging gown , with diamonds about her smooth neck and in her hair . I suddenly wondered what I would look like in evening dress with my hair up .
I wondered if Sidney would like me XXXXX it .
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