But somehow I never had any hankering for a college course , and even now it does n't appeal to me . I 'm afraid I 'm rather devoid of ambition . There is only one thing I really want to be -- and I do n't know if I 'll be it or not . If not -- I do n't want to be anything . But I sha n't write it down . It is all right to think it ; but , as Cousin Sophia would say , it might be brazen to write it down . `` I will write it down . I wo n't be cowed by the conventions and Cousin Sophia ! I want to be Kenneth Ford 's wife ! There now ! `` I 've just looked in the glass , and I had n't the sign of a blush on my face . I suppose I 'm not a properly constructed damsel at all . `` I was down to see little Dog Monday today . He has grown quite stiff and rheumatic but there he sat , waiting for the train . He thumped his tail and looked pleadingly into my eyes . ` When will Jem come ? ' he seemed to say . Oh , Dog Monday , there is no answer to that question ; and there is , as yet , no answer to the other which we are all constantly asking ` What will happen when Germany strikes again on the western front -- her one great , last blow for victory ! '' 1st March 1918 '' ` What will spring bring ? ' Gertrude said today . '
I dread it XXXXX I never dreaded spring before .
as at by for if in into of on to