She had never forgiven her brother and she never wrote to him . He knew that she would have brought the boy up either in ignorance of his father 's crime or in utter detestation of it . When he came back to the world after his imprisonment , there was not a single friendly hand to clasp his and help him struggle up again . The best his friends had been able to do for him was to forget him . He was filled with bitterness and despair and a gnawing hatred of the world of brightness around him . He had no place in it ; he was an ugly blot on it . He was a friendless , wifeless , homeless man who could not so much as look his fellow men in the face , who must henceforth consort with outcasts . In his extremity he hated God and man , burning with futile resentment against both . Only one feeling of tenderness yet remained in his heart ; it centred around the thought of his little son . When he left the prison he had made up his mind what to do . He had a little money which his father had left him , enough to take him west . He would go there , under a new name . There would be novelty and adventure to blot out the memories of the old years . He did not care what became of him , since there was no one else to care . He knew in his heart that his future career would probably lead him still further and further downward , but that did not matter . If there had been anybody to care , he might have thought it worthwhile to struggle back to respectability and trample his shame under feet that should henceforth walk only in the ways of honour and honesty . But there was nobody to care . So he would go to his own place . But first he must see little Joey , who must be quite a big boy now , nearly ten years old . He would go home and see him just once , even although he dreaded meeting aversion in the child 's eyes .
Then , when he had bade him good-bye , and , XXXXX him , good-bye to all that remained to make for good in his desolated existence , he would go out of his life forever .
If In against as for on since that to with