She must get away and hide herself like an animal hurt to the death . Was it a coward 's part to run away like this ? The question came to her suddenly as if someone else had asked it . She thought of the shambles of the Flanders front -- she thought of her brother and her playmate helping to hold those fire-swept trenches . What would they think of her if she shirked her little duty here -- the humble duty of carrying the programme through for her Red Cross ? But she could n't stay -- she could n't -- yet what was it mother had said when Jem went : `` When our women fail in courage shall our men be fearless still ? '' But this -- this was unbearable . Still , she stopped half-way to the door and went back to the window . Irene was singing now ; her beautiful voice -- the only real thing about her -- soared clear and sweet through the building . Rilla knew that the girls ' Fairy Drill came next . Could she go out there and play for it ? Her head was aching now -- her throat was burning . Oh , why had Irene told her just then , when telling could do no good ? Irene had been very cruel . Rilla remembered now that more than once that day she had caught her mother looking at her with an odd expression . She had been too busy to wonder what it meant . She understood now . Mother had known why Walter went to town but would n't tell her until the concert was over . What spirit and endurance mother had ! `` I must stay here and see things through , '' said Rilla , clasping her cold hands together .
The rest of the evening always seemed XXXXX a fevered dream to her .
about at for if in like than to until with