He said we must not tell Mother until she was better . But she was never better . She only lived three months more -- she lived them happily and at rest . When I think of that , I am not sorry for what I did . Captain Harmon said he would be back in the fall to claim me . I waited , sick at heart . But he did not come -- he has never come . We have never heard a word of or about him since . Sometimes I feel sure he can not be still living . But never a day dawns that I do n't say to myself , ` Perhaps he will come today ' -- and , oh -- '' She broke down again , sobbing bitterly . Amid all the daze of his own pain Alan realized that , at any cost , he must not make it harder for her by showing his suffering . He tried to speak calmly , wisely , as a disinterested friend . `` Could it not be discovered whether your -- this man -- is or is not living ? Surely your father could find out . '' Lynde shook her head . `` No , he says he has no way of doing so . We do not know if Captain Harmon had any relatives or even where his home was , and it was his own ship in which he sailed . Father would be glad to think that Frank Harmon was dead , but he does not think he is . He says he was always a fickle-minded fellow , one fancy driving another out of his mind . Oh , I can bear my own misery -- but to think what I have brought on you !
I never dreamed XXXXX you could care for me .
Amid about as at if in of since that whether