It was TOO humiliating . I suppose all the prickles and stings and slurs I had endured for fifteen years on account of never having had a lover had what the new doctor calls `` a cumulative effect '' and came to a head then and there . `` Yes , I had one once , my dear , '' I said calmly . For once in my life I made a sensation . Every woman in that room stopped sewing and stared at me . Most of them , I saw , did n't believe me , but Wilhelmina did . Her pretty face lighted up with interest . `` Oh , wo n't you tell us about him , Miss Holmes ? '' she coaxed , `` and why did n't you marry him ? '' `` That is right , Miss Mercer , '' said Josephine Cameron , with a nasty little laugh . `` Make her tell . We 're all interested . It 's news to us that Charlotte ever had a beau . '' If Josephine had not said that , I might not have gone on . But she did say it , and , moreover , I caught Mary Gillespie and Adella Gilbert exchanging significant smiles . That settled it , and made me quite reckless . `` In for a penny , in for a pound , '' thought I , and I said with a pensive smile : `` Nobody here knew anything about him , and it was all long , long ago . '' `` What was his name ? '' asked Wilhelmina . `` Cecil Fenwick , '' I answered promptly .
Cecil had always been my favorite name for a man ; it figured quite frequently XXXXX the blank book .
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