We 've got to face that fact . '' `` It 's so terrible to think of Jem , '' pleaded Rilla . `` Sometimes I forget for a little while what it really means and feel excited and proud -- and then it comes over me again like a cold wind . '' `` I envy Jem ! '' said Walter moodily . `` Envy Jem ! Oh , Walter you -- you do n't want to go too . '' `` No , '' said Walter , gazing straight before him down the emerald vistas of the valley , `` no , I do n't want to go . That 's just the trouble . Rilla , I 'm afraid to go . I 'm a coward . '' `` You 're not ! '' Rilla burst out angrily . `` Why , anybody would be afraid to go . You might be -- why , you might be killed . '' `` I would n't mind that if it did n't hurt , '' muttered Walter . `` I do n't think I 'm afraid of death itself -- it 's of the pain that might come before death -- it would n't be so bad to die and have it over -- but to keep on dying ! Rilla , I 've always been afraid of pain -- you know that . I ca n't help it -- I shudder when I think of the possibility of being mangled or -- or blinded . Rilla , I can not face that thought .
To be blind -- never XXXXX see the beauty of the world again -- moonlight on Four Winds -- the stars twinkling through the fir-trees -- mist on the gulf .
before down for like of out over that to while