If Fred 's nose were as handsome as his eyes and mouth some such thing might have happened . And then what an unthinkable predicament I should have been in ! `` When poor Fred became convinced that I could n't promise him , he behaved beautifully -- though that rather made things worse . If he had been nasty about it I would n't have felt so heartbroken and remorseful -- though why I should feel remorseful I do n't know , for I never encouraged Fred to think I cared a bit about him . Yet feel remorseful I did -- and do . If Fred Arnold never comes back from overseas , this will haunt me all my life . `` Then Fred said if he could n't take my love with him to the trenches at least he wanted to feel that he had my friendship , and would I kiss him just once in good-bye before he went -- perhaps for ever ? `` I do n't know how I could ever had imagined that love affairs were delightful , interesting things . They are horrible . I could n't even give poor heartbroken Fred one little kiss , because of my promise to Ken . It seemed so brutal . I had to tell Fred that of course he would have my friendship , but that I could n't kiss him because I had promised somebody else I would n't . `` He said , ` It is -- is it -- Ken Ford ? ' `` I nodded . It seemed dreadful to have to tell it -- it was such a sacred little secret just between me and Ken . `` When Fred went away I came up here to my room and cried so long and so bitterly that mother came up and insisted on knowing what was the matter . I told her . She listened to my tale with an expression that clearly said , ` Can it be possible that anyone has been wanting to marry this baby ? ' But she was so nice and understanding and sympathetic , oh , just so race-of-Josephy -- that I felt indescribably comforted . Mothers are the dearest things . ''
` But oh , mother , ' I sobbed , ` he wanted me XXXXX kiss him good-bye -- and I could n't -- and that hurt me worse than all the rest . ' ''
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