Anne hoped that the tears would come in solitude . It seemed to her a terrible thing that she could not shed a tear for Matthew , whom she had loved so much and who had been so kind to her , Matthew who had walked with her last evening at sunset and was now lying in the dim room below with that awful peace on his brow . But no tears came at first , even when she knelt by her window in the darkness and prayed , looking up to the stars beyond the hills -- no tears , only the same horrible dull ache of misery that kept on aching until she fell asleep , worn out with the day 's pain and excitement . In the night she awakened , with the stillness and the darkness about her , and the recollection of the day came over her like a wave of sorrow . She could see Matthew 's face smiling at her as he had smiled when they parted at the gate that last evening -- she could hear his voice saying , `` My girl -- my girl that I 'm proud of . '' Then the tears came and Anne wept her heart out . Marilla heard her and crept in to comfort her . `` There -- there -- do n't cry so , dearie . It ca n't bring him back . It -- it -- is n't right to cry so . I knew that today , but I could n't help it then . He 'd always been such a good , kind brother to me -- but God knows best . '' `` Oh , just let me cry , Marilla , '' sobbed Anne . `` The tears do n't hurt me like that ache did . Stay here for a little while with me and keep your arm round me -- so . I could n't have Diana stay , she 's good and kind and sweet -- but it 's not her sorrow -- she 's outside of it and she could n't come close enough to my heart to help me . It 's our sorrow -- yours and mine . Oh , Marilla , what will we do without him ? '' `` We 've got each other , Anne . I do n't know what I 'd do if you were n't here -- if you 'd never come .
Oh , Anne , I know I 've been kind of strict and harsh XXXXX you maybe -- but you must n't think I did n't love you as well as Matthew did , for all that .
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