`` I could never have risen to such a height . `` She never spoke bitterly except once , when Susan said something about spring being here at last , and Gertrude said , '' ` Can the spring really come this year ? ' `` Then she laughed -- such a dreadful little laugh , just as one might laugh in the face of death , I think , and said , '' ` Observe my egotism . Because I , Gertrude Oliver , have lost a friend , it is incredible that the spring can come as usual . The spring does not fail because of the million agonies of others -- but for mine -- oh , can the universe go on ? ' '' ` Do n't feel bitter with yourself , dear , ' mother said gently . ` It is a very natural thing to feel as if things could n't go on just the same when some great blow has changed the world for us . We all feel like that . ' `` Then that horrid old Cousin Sophia of Susan 's piped up . She was sitting there , knitting and croaking like an old ` raven of bode and woe ' as Walter used to call her . '' ` You ai n't as bad off as some , Miss Oliver , ' she said , ` and you should n't take it so hard . There 's some as has lost their husbands ; that 's a hard blow ; and there 's some as has lost their sons . You have n't lost either husband or son . ' '' ` No , ' said Gertrude , more bitterly still . ` It 's true I have n't lost a husband -- I have only lost the man who would have been my husband . I have lost no son -- only the sons and daughters who might have been born to me -- who will never be born to me now . ' '' ` It is n't ladylike to talk like that , ' said Cousin Sophia in a shocked tone ; and then Gertrude laughed right out , so wildly that Cousin Sophia was really frightened . And when poor tortured Gertrude , unable to endure it any longer , hurried out of the room , Cousin Sophia asked mother if the blow had n't affected Miss Oliver 's mind . '' ' I suffered the loss of two good kind partners , ' she said , ` but it did not affect me like that . ' `` I should think it would n't !
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