Oh , Susan , if I knew that he did n't I think I could gather up a little courage and strength . '' This merciful knowledge was given to Rilla . A letter came from Walter 's commanding officer , telling them that he had been killed instantly by a bullet during a charge at Courcelette . The same day there was a letter for Rilla from Walter himself . Rilla carried it unopened to Rainbow Valley and read it there , in the spot where she had had her last talk with him . It is a strange thing to read a letter after the writer is dead -- a bitter-sweet thing , in which pain and comfort are strangely mingled . For the first time since the blow had fallen Rilla felt -- a different thing from tremulous hope and faith -- that Walter , of the glorious gift and the splendid ideals , still lived , with just the same gift and just the same ideals . That could not be destroyed -- these could suffer no eclipse . The personality that had expressed itself in that last letter , written on the eve of Courcelette , could not be snuffed out by a German bullet . It must carry on , though the earthly link with things of earth were broken . `` We 're going over the top tomorrow , Rilla-my-Rilla , '' wrote Walter . `` I wrote mother and Di yesterday , but somehow I feel as if I must write you tonight . I had n't intended to do any writing tonight -- but I 've got to . Do you remember old Mrs. Tom Crawford over-harbour , who was always saying that it was ` laid on her ' to do such and such a thing ? Well , that is just how I feel . It 's ` laid on me ' to write you tonight -- you , sister and chum of mine . There are some things I want to say before -- well , before tomorrow . `` You and Ingleside seem strangely near me tonight . It 's the first time I 've felt this since I came . Always home has seemed so far away -- so hopelessly far away from this hideous welter of filth and blood .
But tonight it is quite close XXXXX me -- it seems to me I can almost see you -- hear you speak .
For after before if in near on since to with