Do n't you really feel a little nervous , Katherine ? '' `` Not in the least , '' I said . `` I suppose I ought to be , according to traditions , but I never felt less flustered in my life . '' When Bessie brought up Gus Sinclair 's card Alicia dropped a pecky little kiss on my cheek , and pushed me toward the door . I went down calmly , although I 'll admit that my heart was beating wildly . Gus Sinclair was plainly nervous , but I was composed enough for both . You would really have thought that I was in the habit of being proposed to by a millionaire every day . `` I suppose you know what I have come to say , '' he said , standing before me , as I leaned gracefully back in a big chair , having taken care that the folds of my dress fell just as they should . And then he proceeded to say it in a rather jumbled-up fashion , but very sincerely . I remember thinking at the time that he must have composed the speech in his head the night before , and rehearsed it several times , but was forgetting it in spots . When he ended with the self-same question that Jack had asked me three months before at Thrush Hill he stopped and took my hands . I looked up at him . His good , homely face was close to mine , and in his eyes was an unmistakable look of love and tenderness . I opened my mouth to say yes . And then there came over me in one rush the most awful realization of the sacrilege I was going to commit . I forgot everything except that I loved Jack Willoughby , and that I could never , never marry anybody in the world except him . Then I pulled my hands away and burst into hysterical , undignified tears . `` I beg your pardon , '' said Mr. Sinclair . `` I did not mean to startle you . Have I been too abrupt ?
Surely you must have known -- you must have expected -- '' `` Yes -- yes -- I knew , '' I cried miserably , `` and I intended right up XXXXX this very minute to marry you .
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