`` It 's worse than heresy , '' said Miss Channing briskly . `` It 's a crying necessity for blue pills , that 's what it is . Your whole mental and moral and physical and spiritual system must be out of kilter , my child . No vacation plans ! You must have vacation plans . You must be going somewhere . '' `` Oh , I suppose I 'll hunt up a boarding place somewhere in the country , and go there and mope until September . '' `` Have you no friends , Constance ? '' `` No -- no , I have n't anybody in the world . That is why I hate vacation , that is why I 've hated to hear you and the others discussing your vacation plans . You all have somebody to go to . It has just filled me up with hatred of my life . '' Miss Channing swallowed her honest horror at such a state of feeling . `` Constance , tell me about yourself . I 've often wanted to ask you , but I was always a little afraid to . You seem so reserved and -- and , as if you did n't want to be asked about yourself . '' `` I know it . I know I 'm stiff and hateful , and that nobody likes me , and that it is all my own fault . No , never mind trying to smooth it over , Miss Channing . It 's the truth , and it hurts me , but I ca n't help it .
I 'm getting more bitter and pessimistic and unwholesome every day XXXXX my life .
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