Yet she hated to make it ; hated for his sake and -- Rosemary was quite honest with herself -- for her own . She knew she could have loved John Meredith if -- if it had been permissible . She knew that life would be a blank thing if , rejected as lover , he refused longer to be a friend . She knew that she could be very happy with him and that she could make him happy . But between her and happiness stood the prison gate of the promise she had made to Ellen years ago . Rosemary could not remember her father . He had died when she was only three years old . Ellen , who had been thirteen , remembered him , but with no special tenderness . He had been a stern , reserved man many years older than his fair , pretty wife . Five years later their brother of twelve died also ; since his death the two girls had always lived alone with their mother . They had never mingled very freely in the social life of the Glen or Lowbridge , though where they went the wit and spirit of Ellen and the sweetness and beauty of Rosemary made them welcome guests . Both had what was called `` a disappointment '' in their girlhood . The sea had not given up Rosemary 's lover ; and Norman Douglas , then a handsome , red-haired young giant , noted for wild driving and noisy though harmless escapades , had quarrelled with Ellen and left her in a fit of pique . There were not lacking candidates for both Martin 's and Norman 's places , but none seemed to find favour in the eyes of the West girls , who drifted slowly out of youth and bellehood without any seeming regret . They were devoted to their mother , who was a chronic invalid . The three had a little circle of home interests -- books and pets and flowers -- which made them happy and contented . Mrs. West 's death , which occurred on Rosemary 's twenty-fifth birthday , was a bitter grief to them . At first they were intolerably lonely . Ellen , especially , continued to grieve and brood , her long , moody musings broken only by fits of stormy , passionate weeping . The old Lowbridge doctor told Rosemary that he feared permanent melancholy or worse .
Once , when Ellen had sat all day , refusing either XXXXX speak or eat , Rosemary had flung herself on her knees by her sister 's side .
At as if in of since than that to with