Then , too , I was so thankful that Jims had got better -- so thankful that I almost felt glad -- almost but not quite . I wonder if I shall ever feel really glad over anything again . It seems as if gladness were killed in me -- shot down by the same bullet that pierced Walter 's heart . Perhaps some day a new kind of gladness will be born in my soul -- but the old kind will never live again . `` Winter set in awfully early this year . Ten days before Christmas we had a big snowstorm -- at least we thought it big at the time . As it happened , it was only a prelude to the real performance . It was fine the next day , and Ingleside and Rainbow Valley were wonderful , with the trees all covered with snow , and big drifts everywhere , carved into the most fantastic shapes by the chisel of the northeast wind . Father and mother went up to Avonlea . Father thought the change would do mother good , and they wanted to see poor Aunt Diana , whose son Jock had been seriously wounded a short time before . They left Susan and me to keep house , and father expected to be back the next day . But he never got back for a week . That night it began to storm again , and it stormed unbrokenly for four days . It was the worst and longest storm that Prince Edward Island has known for years . Everything was disorganized -- the roads were completely choked up , the trains blockaded , and the telephone wires put entirely out of commission . `` And then Jims took ill . `` He had a little cold when father and mother went away , and he kept getting worse for a couple of days , but it did n't occur to me that there was danger of anything serious . I never even took his temperature , and I ca n't forgive myself , because it was sheer carelessness . The truth is I had slumped just then . Mother was away , so I let myself go .
All at once I was tired of keeping up and pretending to be brave and cheerful , and I just gave up for a few days and spent most XXXXX the time lying on my face on my bed , crying .
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