II . THE MATERALIZING OF CECIL It had never worried me in the least that I was n't married , although everybody in Avonlea pitied old maids ; but it DID worry me , and I frankly confess it , that I had never had a chance to be . Even Nancy , my old nurse and servant , knew that , and pitied me for it . Nancy is an old maid herself , but she has had two proposals . She did not accept either of them because one was a widower with seven children , and the other a very shiftless , good-for-nothing fellow ; but , if anybody twitted Nancy on her single condition , she could point triumphantly to those two as evidence that `` she could an she would . '' If I had not lived all my life in Avonlea I might have had the benefit of the doubt ; but I had , and everybody knew everything about me -- or thought they did . I had really often wondered why nobody had ever fallen in love with me . I was not at all homely ; indeed , years ago , George Adoniram Maybrick had written a poem addressed to me , in which he praised my beauty quite extravagantly ; that did n't mean anything because George Adoniram wrote poetry to all the good-looking girls and never went with anybody but Flora King , who was cross-eyed and red-haired , but it proves that it was not my appearance that put me out of the running . Neither was it the fact that I wrote poetry myself -- although not of George Adoniram 's kind -- because nobody ever knew that . When I felt it coming on I shut myself up in my room and wrote it out in a little blank book I kept locked up . It is nearly full now , because I have been writing poetry all my life . It is the only thing I have ever been able to keep a secret from Nancy . Nancy , in any case , has not a very high opinion of my ability to take care of myself ; but I tremble to imagine what she would think if she ever found out about that little book . I am convinced she would send for the doctor post-haste and insist on mustard plasters while waiting for him . Nevertheless , I kept on at it , and what with my flowers and my cats and my magazines and my little book , I was really very happy and contented . But it DID sting that Adella Gilbert , across the road , who has a drunken husband , should pity `` poor Charlotte '' because nobody had ever wanted her . Poor Charlotte indeed ! If I had thrown myself at a man 's head the way Adella Gilbert did at -- but there , there , I must refrain from such thoughts . I must not be uncharitable . The Sewing Circle met at Mary Gillespie 's on my fortieth birthday .
I have given up talking about my birthdays , although that little scheme is not much good XXXXX Avonlea where everybody knows your age -- or if they make a mistake it is never on the side of youth .
OF about across although at for in on that with