Sara did not marry , although gossip assigned her many suitors not unworthy of her . She and Jeffrey were always friends , although they met but seldom . Sometimes she sent him a book ; it was his custom to search for the earliest mayflowers and take them to her ; once in a long while they met and talked of many things . Jeffrey 's calendar from year to year was red-lettered by these small happenings , of which nobody knew , or , knowing , would have cared . So he and Sara drifted out of youth , together yet apart . Her mother had died , and Sara was the gracious , stately mistress of Pinehurst , which grew quieter as the time went on ; the lovers ceased to come , and holiday friends grew few ; with the old colonel 's failing health the gaieties and lavish entertaining ceased . Jeffrey thought that Sara must often be lonely , but she never said so ; she remained sweet , serene , calm-eyed , like the child he had met on the hill . Only , now and then , Jeffrey fancied he saw a shadow on her face -- a shadow so faint and fleeting that only the eye of an unselfish , abiding love , made clear-sighted by patient years , could have seen it . It hurt him , that shadow ; he would have given anything in his power to have banished it . And now this long friendship was to be broken . Sara was going away . At first he had thought only of her pain , but now his own filled his heart . How could he live without her ? How could he dwell in the valley knowing that she had gone from the hill ? Never to see her light shine down on him through the northern gap in the pines at night ! Never to feel that perhaps her eyes rested on him now and then as he went about his work in the valley fields ! Never to stoop with a glad thrill over the first spring flowers because it was his privilege to take them to her ! Jeffrey groaned aloud . No , he could not go up to see her that night ; he must wait -- he must strengthen himself . Then his heart rebuked him .
This was selfishness ; this was putting his own feelings before hers -- a thing he had sworn never XXXXX do .
So although as in of on through to with without