Oh , please go away and forgive me if you can ! I know I can never make you understand how it came about . '' Sidney turned away and hid her burning face against the cool white bark of the birch tree behind her . It was worse than she had even thought it would be . He was so handsome , so manly , so earnest-eyed ! Oh , what a friend to lose ! John Lincoln opened the gate and went up to her . There was a great tenderness in his face , mingled with a little kindly , friendly amusement . `` Please do n't distress yourself so , Sidney , '' he said , unconsciously using her Christian name . `` I think I do understand . I 'm not such a dull fellow as you take me for . After all , those letters were true -- or , rather , there was truth in them . You revealed yourself more faithfully in them than if you had written truly about your narrow outward life . '' Sidney turned her flushed face and wet eyes slowly toward him , a little smile struggling out amid the clouds of woe . This young man was certainly good at understanding . `` You -- you 'll forgive me then ? '' she stammered . `` Yes , if there is anything to forgive . And for my own part , I am glad you are not what I have always thought you were . If I had come here and found you what I expected , living in such a home as I expected , I never could have told you or even thought of telling you what you have come to mean to me in these lonely years during which your letters have been the things most eagerly looked forward to .
I should have come this evening and spent an hour or so XXXXX you , and then have gone away on the train tomorrow morning , and that would have been all .
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