`` Yes -- torturing , agonized hope that keeps you from ever becoming quite resigned to the worst , '' said Rilla . `` Oh , Miss Oliver -- must we go for weeks and months -- not knowing whether Jem is alive or dead ? Perhaps we will never know . I -- I can not bear it -- I can not . Walter -- and now Jem . This will kill mother -- look at her face , Miss Oliver , and you will see that . And Faith -- poor Faith -- how can she bear it ? '' Gertrude shivered with pain . She looked up at the pictures hanging over Rilla 's desk and felt a sudden hatred of Mona Lisa 's endless smile . `` Will not even this blot it off your face ? '' she thought savagely . But she said gently , `` No , it wo n't kill your mother . She 's made of finer mettle than that . Besides , she refuses to believe Jem is dead ; she will cling to hope and we must all do that . Faith , you may be sure , will do it . '' `` I can not , '' moaned Rilla , `` Jem was wounded -- what chance would he have ? Even if the Germans found him -- we know how they have treated wounded prisoners . I wish I could hope , Miss Oliver -- it would help , I suppose . But hope seems dead in me . I ca n't hope without some reason for it -- and there is no reason . ''
When Miss Oliver had gone XXXXX her own room and Rilla was lying on her bed in the moonlight , praying desperately for a little strength , Susan stepped in like a gaunt shadow and sat down beside her .
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