She could not understand it . Had not that marriage been her dearest wish for years ? Why then should she feel this strange gladness at the impossibility of its fulfilment ? Altogether , Alma feared that her condition of mind and morals must be sadly askew . Perhaps , she thought mournfully , this perversion of proper feeling was her punishment for the deception she had practised . She had deliberately done evil that good might come , and now the very imaginations of her heart were stained by that evil . Alma cried herself to sleep many a night in her repentance , but she kept on writing to Gilbert , for all that . The winter passed , and the spring and summer waned , and Alma 's outward life flowed as smoothly as the currents of the seasons , broken only by vivid eruptions from Anna , who came over often from East Exeter , glorying in her young matronhood , `` to cheer Alma up . '' Alma , so said Exeter people , was becoming unsociable and old maidish . She lost her liking for company , and seldom went anywhere among her neighbours . Her once frequent visits across the yard to chat with old Mrs. Murray became few and far between . She could not bear to hear the old lady talking about Gilbert , and she was afraid that some day she would be told that he was coming home . Gilbert 's home-coming was the nightmare dread that darkened poor Alma 's whole horizon . * * * * * One October day , two years after Gilbert 's departure , Alma , standing at her window in the reflected glow of a red maple outside , looked down the lane and saw him striding up it ! She had had no warning of his coming . His last letter , dated three weeks back , had not hinted at it . Yet there he was -- and with him Alma 's Nemesis . She was very calm . Now that the worst had come , she felt quite strong to meet it . She would tell Gilbert the truth , and he would go away in anger and never forgive her , but she deserved it .
As she went downstairs , the only thing that really worried her was the thought of the pain Gilbert would suffer when she told him XXXXX Anna 's faithlessness .
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