When his sister came it was easier for him , because it seemed to him only the other day that he had seen her last . Fortunately she had not changed much , and that helped him , too . '' `` It is all so strange and wonderful , Leslie . I think we none of us realise it yet . '' `` I can not . When I went into the house over there an hour ago , I felt that it MUST be a dream -- that Dick must be there , with his childish smile , as he had been for so long . Anne , I seem stunned yet . I 'm not glad or sorry -- or ANYTHING . I feel as if something had been torn suddenly out of my life and left a terrible hole . I feel as if I could n't be I -- as if I must have changed into somebody else and could n't get used to it . It gives me a horrible lonely , dazed , helpless feeling . It 's good to see you again -- it seems as if you were a sort of anchor for my drifting soul . Oh , Anne , I dread it all -- the gossip and wonderment and questioning . When I think of that , I wish that I need not have come home at all . Dr. Dave was at the station when I came off the train -- he brought me home . Poor old man , he feels very badly because he told me years ago that nothing could be done for Dick . ' I honestly thought so , Leslie , ' he said to me today . ` But I should have told you not to depend on my opinion -- I should have told you to go to a specialist . If I had , you would have been saved many bitter years , and poor George Moore many wasted ones . I blame myself very much , Leslie . '
I told him not XXXXX do that -- he had done what he thought right .
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