`` I 'm going to put these flowers on Mother 's grave , '' she said , lifting her slender hands filled with late white roses . `` Mother loved flowers and I always keep them near her when I can . You may come with me if you like . '' Alan had known Lynde 's mother was buried under the pines but he had never visited the spot before . The grave was at the westernmost end of the pine wood , where it gave out on the lake , a beautiful spot , given over to silence and shadow . `` Mother wished to be buried here , '' Lynde said , kneeling to arrange her flowers . `` Father would have taken her anywhere but she said she wanted to be near us and near the lake she had loved so well . Father buried her himself . He would n't have anyone else do anything for her . I am so glad she is here . It would have been terrible to have seen her taken far away -- my sweet little mother . '' `` A mother is the best thing in the world -- I realized that when I lost mine , '' said Alan gently . `` How long is it since your mother died ? '' `` Three years . Oh , I thought I should die too when she did . She was very ill -- she was never strong , you know -- but I never thought she could die . There was a year then -- part of the time I did n't believe in God at all and the rest I hated Him . I was very wicked but I was so unhappy . Father had so many dreadful moods and -- there was something else . I used to wish to die . ''
She bowed her head XXXXX her hands and gazed moodily on the ground .
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