He was relieved that she took it so coolly -- he had been a little afraid , with a boy 's horror of `` a scene . '' He went out whistling gaily ; but half an hour later , when pale Anne Blythe came in , Susan was still sitting there . `` Mrs. Dr. dear , '' said Susan , making an admission she would once have died rather than make , `` I feel very old . Jem and Walter were yours but Shirley is mine . And I can not bear to think of him flying -- his machine crashing down -- the life crushed out of his body -- the dear little body I nursed and cuddled when he was a wee baby . '' `` Susan -- do n't , '' cried Anne . `` Oh , Mrs. Dr. dear , I beg your pardon . I ought not to have said anything like that out loud . I sometimes forget that I resolved to be a heroine . This -- this has shaken me a little . But I will not forget myself again . Only if things do not go as smoothly in the kitchen for a few days I hope you will make due allowance for me . At least , '' said poor Susan , forcing a grim smile in a desperate effort to recover lost standing , `` at least flying is a clean job . He will not get so dirty and messed up as he would in the trenches , and that is well , for he has always been a tidy child . '' So Shirley went -- not radiantly , as to a high adventure , like Jem , not in a white flame of sacrifice , like Walter , but in a cool , business-like mood , as of one doing something , rather dirty and disagreeable , that had just got to be done . He kissed Susan for the first time since he was five years old , and said , `` Good-bye , Susan -- mother Susan . '' `` My little brown boy -- my little brown boy , '' said Susan . `` I wonder , '' she thought bitterly , as she looked at the doctor 's sorrowful face , `` if you remember how you spanked him once when he was a baby . I am thankful I have nothing like that on my conscience now . '' The doctor did not remember the old discipline .
But before he put XXXXX his hat to go out on his round of calls he stood for a moment in the great silent living-room that had once been full of children 's laughter .
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