`` Well , Jonas preached . And , by the time he had preached ten minutes , I felt so small and insignificant that I thought I must be invisible to the naked eye . Jonas never said a word about women and he never looked at me . But I realized then and there what a pitiful , frivolous , small-souled little butterfly I was , and how horribly different I must be from Jonas ' ideal woman . SHE would be grand and strong and noble . He was so earnest and tender and true . He was everything a minister ought to be . I wondered how I could ever have thought him ugly -- but he really is ! -- with those inspired eyes and that intellectual brow which the roughly-falling hair hid on week days . `` It was a splendid sermon and I could have listened to it forever , and it made me feel utterly wretched . Oh , I wish I was like YOU , Anne . `` He caught up with me on the road home , and grinned as cheerfully as usual . But his grin could never deceive me again . I had seen the REAL Jonas . I wondered if he could ever see the REAL PHIL -- whom NOBODY , not even you , Anne , has ever seen yet . '' ` Jonas , ' I said -- I forgot to call him Mr. Blake . Was n't it dreadful ? But there are times when things like that do n't matter -- ` Jonas , you were born to be a minister . You COULD N'T be anything else . ' '' ` No , I could n't , ' he said soberly . '
I tried XXXXX be something else for a long time -- I did n't want to be a minister .
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