she said bitterly . `` He has only been amusing himself with my folly . And to think that I let him kiss me the other night ! '' She thought of that kiss with a pitiful shame . She hated herself for the weakness that could not check her tears . Her lonely life had been brightened by the companionship of her young lover . The youth and girlhood of which fate had cheated her had come to her with love ; the future had looked rosy with promise ; now it had darkened with dourness and greyness . Maggie Hatfield came that day to sew . Bessy had intended to have a dark-blue silk made up and an evening waist of pale pink cashmere . She had expected to wear the latter at a party which was to come off a fortnight later , and she had got it to please Lawrence , because he had told her that pink was his favourite colour . She would have neither it nor the silk made up now . She put them both away and instead brought out an ugly pattern of snuff-brown stuff , bought years before and never used . `` But where is your lovely pink , Bessy ? '' asked the dressmaker . `` Are n't you going to have it for the party ? '' `` No , I 'm not going to have it made up at all , '' said Bessy listlessly . `` It 's too gay for me . I was foolish to think it would ever suit me . This brown will do for a spring suit . It does n't make much difference what I wear . ''
Maggie Hatfield , who had not been at prayer meeting the night beforehand knew nothing of what had occurred , looked at her curiously , wondering what Lawrence Eastman could see in her XXXXX be as crazy about her as some people said he was .
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