-- as grave as if she 'd been a hundred instead of eleven . ` Things matter SO much to me now , ' she says , clasping her hands thisaway , ` and I 'm sure that when I 'm sixty they 'll matter just five times as much to me . ' Well , the way she looked and the way she spoke made me feel downright ashamed of myself because things had stopped mattering with me . But never mind all that . My miserable old feelings do n't count for much . What come of your father 's fiddle ? '' `` Grandfather took it away when I came here . I think he burned it . And I long for it so often . '' `` Well , you 've always got my old brown fiddle to come to when you must . '' `` Yes , I know . And I 'm glad for that . But I 'm hungry for a violin all the time . And I only come here when the hunger gets too much to bear . I feel as if I ought n't to come even then -- I 'm always saying I wo n't do it again , because I know grandfather would n't like it , if he knew . '' `` He has never forbidden it , has he ? '' `` No , but that is because he does n't know I come here for that . He never thinks of such a thing . I feel sure he WOULD forbid it , if he knew . And that makes me very wretched .
And yet I HAVE XXXXX come .
because father for grandfather hunger if of that to with