You might as well forgive me and be nice right off , Alma , because you 'd have to do it anyway , in time . Well , you do look surprised ! '' * * * * * Alma accepted the situation with an apathy that amazed Anna . The truth was that Alma was stunned by a thought that had come to her even while Anna was speaking . `` Gilbert will find out about the letters now , and despise me . '' Nothing else , not even the fact that Anna had married shiftless Charlie Moore , seemed worth while considering beside this . The fear and shame of it haunted her like a nightmare ; she shrank every morning from the thought of all the mail that was coming that day , fearing that there would be an angry , puzzled letter from Gilbert . He must certainly soon hear of Anna 's marriage ; he would see it in the home paper , other correspondents in Exeter would write him of it . Alma grew sick at heart thinking of the complications in front of her . When Gilbert 's letter came she left it for a whole day before she could summon courage to open it . But it was a harmless epistle after all ; he had not yet heard of Anna 's marriage . Alma had at first no thought of answering it , yet her fingers ached to do so . Now that Anna was gone , her loneliness was unbearable . She realized how much Gilbert 's letters had meant to her , even when written to another woman . She could bear her life well enough , she thought , if she only had his letters to look forward to . No more letters came from Gilbert for six weeks . Then came one , alarmed at Anna 's silence , anxiously asking the reason for it ; Gilbert had heard no word of the marriage . He was working in a remote district where newspapers seldom penetrated . He had no other correspondent in Exeter now ; except his mother , and she , not knowing that he supposed himself engaged to Anna had forgotten to mention it . Alma answered that letter .
She told herself recklessly XXXXX she would keep on writing to him until he found out .
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