`` You know it 's so , do n't you ? '' said Ruby insistently . `` Yes , I know , '' answered Anne in a low tone . `` Dear Ruby , I know . '' `` Everybody knows it , '' said Ruby bitterly . `` I know it -- I 've known it all summer , though I would n't give in . And , oh , Anne '' -- she reached out and caught Anne 's hand pleadingly , impulsively -- `` I do n't want to die . I 'm AFRAID to die . '' `` Why should you be afraid , Ruby ? '' asked Anne quietly . `` Because -- because -- oh , I 'm not afraid but that I 'll go to heaven , Anne . I 'm a church member . But -- it 'll be all so different . I think -- and think -- and I get so frightened -- and -- and -- homesick . Heaven must be very beautiful , of course , the Bible says so -- but , Anne , IT WO N'T BE WHAT I 'VE BEEN USED TO . '' Through Anne 's mind drifted an intrusive recollection of a funny story she had heard Philippa Gordon tell -- the story of some old man who had said very much the same thing about the world to come . It had sounded funny then -- she remembered how she and Priscilla had laughed over it . But it did not seem in the least humorous now , coming from Ruby 's pale , trembling lips . It was sad , tragic -- and true ! Heaven could not be what Ruby had been used to .
There had been nothing in her gay , frivolous life , her shallow ideals and aspirations , XXXXX fit her for that great change , or make the life to come seem to her anything but alien and unreal and undesirable .
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