`` Then , those letters -- '' `` Were all lies , '' said Sidney bluntly and desperately . `` There was nothing true in them -- nothing at all . This is my home . We are poor . Everything I told you about it and my life was just imagination . '' `` Then why did you write them ? '' he asked blankly . `` Why did you deceive me ? '' `` Oh , I did n't mean to deceive you ! I never thought of such a thing . When you asked me to write to you I wanted to , but I did n't know what to write about to a stranger . I just could n't write you about my life here , not because it was hard , but it was so ugly and empty . So I wrote instead of the life I wanted to live -- the life I did live in imagination . And when once I had begun , I had to keep it up . I found it so fascinating , too ! Those letters made that other life seem real to me . I never expected to meet you . These last four days since your letter came have been dreadful to me . Oh , please go away and forgive me if you can ! I know I can never make you understand how it came about . ''
Sidney turned away and hid her burning face against the cool white bark XXXXX the birch tree behind her .
So about at because if in of since that to