So Mr. Meredith found his lady alone and looking very beautiful . Rosemary had not made any special toilet for the occasion ; she wanted to , but she thought it would be absurd to dress up for a man you meant to refuse . So she wore her plain dark afternoon dress and looked like a queen in it . Her suppressed excitement coloured her face to brilliancy , her great blue eyes were pools of light less placid than usual . She wished the interview were over . She had looked forward to it all day with dread . She felt quite sure that John Meredith cared a great deal for her after a fashion -- and she felt just as sure that he did not care for her as he had cared for his first love . She felt that her refusal would disappoint him considerably , but she did not think it would altogether overwhelm him . Yet she hated to make it ; hated for his sake and -- Rosemary was quite honest with herself -- for her own . She knew she could have loved John Meredith if -- if it had been permissible . She knew that life would be a blank thing if , rejected as lover , he refused longer to be a friend . She knew that she could be very happy with him and that she could make him happy . But between her and happiness stood the prison gate of the promise she had made to Ellen years ago . Rosemary could not remember her father . He had died when she was only three years old . Ellen , who had been thirteen , remembered him , but with no special tenderness . He had been a stern , reserved man many years older than his fair , pretty wife . Five years later their brother of twelve died also ; since his death the two girls had always lived alone with their mother . They had never mingled very freely in the social life of the Glen or Lowbridge , though where they went the wit and spirit of Ellen and the sweetness and beauty of Rosemary made them welcome guests . Both had what was called `` a disappointment '' in their girlhood .
The sea had not given up Rosemary 's lover ; and Norman Douglas , then a handsome , red-haired young giant , noted for wild driving and noisy XXXXX harmless escapades , had quarrelled with Ellen and left her in a fit of pique .
So between for if in like since that though to