When you asked me to write to you I wanted to , but I did n't know what to write about to a stranger . I just could n't write you about my life here , not because it was hard , but it was so ugly and empty . So I wrote instead of the life I wanted to live -- the life I did live in imagination . And when once I had begun , I had to keep it up . I found it so fascinating , too ! Those letters made that other life seem real to me . I never expected to meet you . These last four days since your letter came have been dreadful to me . Oh , please go away and forgive me if you can ! I know I can never make you understand how it came about . '' Sidney turned away and hid her burning face against the cool white bark of the birch tree behind her . It was worse than she had even thought it would be . He was so handsome , so manly , so earnest-eyed ! Oh , what a friend to lose ! John Lincoln opened the gate and went up to her . There was a great tenderness in his face , mingled with a little kindly , friendly amusement . `` Please do n't distress yourself so , Sidney , '' he said , unconsciously using her Christian name . `` I think I do understand . I 'm not such a dull fellow as you take me for . After all , those letters were true -- or , rather , there was truth in them .
You revealed yourself more faithfully XXXXX them than if you had written truly about your narrow outward life . ''
After So against as because if in since than that