I dropped everything I held , and Josephine Cameron said afterwards that Charlotte Holmes would never be paler when she was in her coffin . If they had just known why I turned so pale ! `` It 's impossible ! '' I said blankly . `` It 's really true , '' said Wilhelmina , delighted at this development , as she supposed it , of my romance . `` I was up to see Mrs. Maxwell last night , and I met him . '' `` It -- ca n't be -- the same -- Cecil Fenwick , '' I said faintly , because I had to say something . `` Oh , yes , it is . He belongs in Blakely , New Brunswick , and he 's a lawyer , and he 's been out West twenty-two years . He 's oh ! so handsome , and just as you described him , except that his hair is quite gray . He has never married -- I asked Mrs. Maxwell -- so you see he has never forgotten you , Miss Holmes . And , oh , I believe everything is going to come out all right . '' I could n't exactly share her cheerful belief . Everything seemed to me to be coming out most horribly wrong . I was so mixed up I did n't know what to do or say . I felt as if I were in a bad dream -- it MUST be a dream -- there could n't really be a Cecil Fenwick ! My feelings were simply indescribable . Fortunately every one put my agitation down to quite a different cause , and they very kindly left me alone to recover myself . I shall never forget that awful afternoon .
Right after tea I excused myself and went home as fast XXXXX I could go .
If as at because except in of out so up