I believe she hypnotized me . What an adventure this will be to write the boys . '' And then she sighed . Bitter remembrance came that there were only Jerry , Ken , Carl and Shirley to write it to now . Jem -- who would have appreciated Mrs. Matilda Pitman keenly -- where was Jem ? CHAPTER XXXII WORD FROM JEM 4th August 1918 `` It is four years tonight since the dance at the lighthouse -- four years of war . It seems like three times four . I was fifteen then . I am nineteen now . I expected that these past four years would be the most delightful years of my life and they have been years of war -- years of fear and grief and worry -- but I humbly hope , of a little growth in strength and character as well . `` Today I was going through the hall and I heard mother saying something to father about me . I did n't mean to listen -- I could n't help hearing her as I went along the hall and upstairs -- so perhaps that is why I heard what listeners are said never to hear -- something good of myself . And because it was mother who said it I 'm going to write it here in my journal , for my comforting when days of discouragement come upon me , in which I feel that I am vain and selfish and weak and that there is no good thing in me . '' ` Rilla has developed in a wonderful fashion these past four years . She used to be such an irresponsible young creature . She has changed into a capable , womanly girl and she is such a comfort to me . Nan and Di have grown a little away from me -- they have been so little at home -- but Rilla has grown closer and closer to me . We are chums . I do n't see how I could have got through these terrible years without her , Gilbert . ' `` There , that is just what mother said -- and I feel glad -- and sorry -- and proud -- and humble !
It 's beautiful XXXXX have my mother think that about me -- but I do n't deserve it quite .
FROM along at for in into of through to without