In the parlor lay Matthew Cuthbert in his coffin , his long gray hair framing his placid face on which there was a little kindly smile as if he but slept , dreaming pleasant dreams . There were flowers about him -- sweet old-fashioned flowers which his mother had planted in the homestead garden in her bridal days and for which Matthew had always had a secret , wordless love . Anne had gathered them and brought them to him , her anguished , tearless eyes burning in her white face . It was the last thing she could do for him . The Barrys and Mrs. Lynde stayed with them that night . Diana , going to the east gable , where Anne was standing at her window , said gently : `` Anne dear , would you like to have me sleep with you tonight ? '' `` Thank you , Diana . '' Anne looked earnestly into her friend 's face . `` I think you wo n't misunderstand me when I say I want to be alone . I 'm not afraid . I have n't been alone one minute since it happened -- and I want to be . I want to be quite silent and quiet and try to realize it . I ca n't realize it . Half the time it seems to me that Matthew ca n't be dead ; and the other half it seems as if he must have been dead for a long time and I 've had this horrible dull ache ever since . '' Diana did not quite understand . Marilla 's impassioned grief , breaking all the bounds of natural reserve and lifelong habit in its stormy rush , she could comprehend better than Anne 's tearless agony . But she went away kindly , leaving Anne alone to keep her first vigil with sorrow . Anne hoped that the tears would come in solitude . It seemed to her a terrible thing that she could not shed a tear for Matthew , whom she had loved so much and who had been so kind to her , Matthew who had walked with her last evening at sunset and was now lying in the dim room below with that awful peace on his brow . But no tears came at first , even when she knelt by her window in the darkness and prayed , looking up to the stars beyond the hills -- no tears , only the same horrible dull ache of misery that kept on aching until she fell asleep , worn out with the day 's pain and excitement .
In the night she awakened , with the stillness and the darkness about her , and the recollection XXXXX the day came over her like a wave of sorrow .
In about beyond by into of since than to with