He was standing by the fireplace when I went in , and looked very tired . When he heard me he turned his head and our eyes met . All at once a terrible thing happened ... at least , I thought it a terrible thing then . I knew why I had wanted Sidney to realize that I was no longer a child . It was because I loved him ! I knew it the moment I saw that strange , new expression leap into his eyes . `` Cornelia , '' he said in a stunned sort of voice . `` Why ... Nic ... why , little girl ... you 're a woman ! How blind I 've been ! And now I 've lost my little chum . '' `` Oh , no , no , '' I said wildly . I was so miserable and confused I did n't know what I said . `` Never , Sidney . I 'd rather be a little girl and have you for a friend ... I 'll always be a little girl ! It 's all this hateful dress . I 'll go and take it off ... I 'll ... '' And then I just put my hands up to my burning face and the tears that would never come before came in a flood . All at once I felt Sidney 's arms about me and felt my head drawn to his shoulder . `` Do n't cry , dearest , '' I heard him say softly . `` You can never be a little girl to me again ... my eyes are opened ... but I did n't want you to be . I want you to be my big girl ... mine , all mine , forever . ''
What happened after that is n't XXXXX be written in a diary .
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