I knew Carleton was bound to grow into a magnificent city , and I wanted to be there and see it grow and watch it develop ; and I loved the whole big , breezy golden west , with the rush and tingle of its young life . And , more than all , I loved my boys , and what I was going to do without them or they without me was more than I knew , though I tried to think Providence might know . But there was no place in Carleton for me ; the only thing to do was to go back east , and I knew that all the time , even when I was desperately praying that I might find a way to remain . There 's not much comfort , or help either , praying one way and believing another . I 'd lived down east in Northfield all my life -- until five years ago -- lived with my brother William and his wife . Northfield was a little pinched-up village where everybody knew more about you than you did about yourself , and you could n't turn around without being commented upon . William and Susanna were kind to me , but I was just the old maid sister , of no importance to anybody , and I never felt as if I were really living . I was simply vegetating on , and would n't be missed by a single soul if I died . It is a horrible feeling , but I did n't expect it would ever be any different , and I had made up my mind that when I died I would have the word `` Wasted '' carved on my tombstone . It would n't be conventional at all , but I 'd been conventional all my life , and I was determined I 'd have something done out of the common even if I had to wait until I was dead to have it . Then all at once the letter came from John Henry , my brother out west . He wrote that his wife had died and he wanted me to go out and keep house for him . I sat right down and wrote him I 'd go and in a week 's time I started . It made quite a commotion ; I had that much satisfaction out of it to begin with . Susanna was n't any too well pleased . I was only the old maid sister , but I was a good cook , and help was scarce in Northfield . All the neighbours shook their heads , and warned me I would n't like it . I was too old to change my ways , and I 'd be dreadfully homesick , and I 'd find the west too rough and boisterous . I just smiled and said nothing . Well , I came out here to Carleton , and from the time I got here I was perfectly happy .
John Henry had a little rented house , and he was as poor as a church mouse , being the ne'er - do-well of our family , and the best loved , as ne'er - do-wells are so apt XXXXX be .
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