But Paul just laughed when I said so , and took my hands and kissed them . Then he looked into my eyes and laughed again , because I could n't hide from him how much I loved him . We are to be married next spring and Paul says he will take me to Europe . That will be very nice , but nothing matters so long as I am with him . Paul 's people are very wealthy and his mother and sisters are very fashionable . I am frightened of them , but I did not tell Paul so because I think it would hurt him and oh , I would n't do that for the world . There is nothing I would n't suffer if it would do him any good . I never thought any one could feel so . I used to think if I loved anybody I would want him to do everything for me and wait on me as if I were a princess . But that is not the way at all . Love makes you very humble and you want to do everything yourself for the one you love . August 10 . Paul went home to-day . Oh , it is so terrible ! I do n't know how I can bear to live even for a little while without him . But this is silly of me , because I know he has to go and he will write often and come to me often . But , still , it is so lonesome . I did n't cry when he left me because I wanted him to remember me smiling in the way he liked best , but I have been crying ever since and I ca n't stop , no matter how hard I try . We have had such a beautiful fortnight . Every day seemed dearer and happier than the last , and now it is ended and I feel as if it could never be the same again .
Oh , I am very foolish -- but I love him so dearly and XXXXX I were to lose his love I know I would die .
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