Mother triumphed over heredity with Jen and Sue and Alice , but it came off best with me . The other girls are noted for their grace and tact . But I 'm the black sheep and always will be . It would n't worry me so much if they 'd leave me alone and stop nagging me . `` Oh , for a lodge in some vast wilderness , '' where there were no men , no parties , no dinners ... just quantities of dogs and horses and skating ponds and woods ! I need never put on long dresses then , but just be a jolly little girl forever . However , I 've got one beautiful year before me yet , and I mean to make the most of it . * * * * * January Tenth . It is rather good to have a diary to pour out your woes in when you feel awfully bad and have no one to sympathize with you . I 've been used to shutting them all up in my soul and then they sometimes fermented and made trouble . We had a lot of people here to dinner tonight , and that made me miserable to begin with . I had to dress up in a stiff white dress with a sash , and Jen tied two big white fly-away bows on my hair that kept rasping my neck and tickling my ears in a most exasperating way . Then an old lady whom I detest tried to make me talk before everybody , and all I could do was to turn as red as a beet and stammer : `` Yes , ma'am , '' `` no , ma'am . '' It made Mother furious , because it is so old-fashioned to say `` ma'am . '' Our old nurse taught me to say it when I was small , and though it has been pretty well governessed out of me since then , it 's sure to pop up when I get confused and nervous . Sue ... may it be accounted unto her for righteousness ... contrived that I should go out to dinner with old Mr. Grant , because she knew he goes to dinners for the sake of eating and never talks or wants anybody else to . But when we were crossing the hall I stepped on Mrs. Burnett 's train and something tore . Mrs. Burnett gave me a furious look and glowered all through dinner . The meal was completely spoiled for me and I could find no comfort , even in the Nesselrode pudding , which is my favourite dessert . It was just when the pudding came on that I got the most unkindest cut of all .
Mrs. Allardyce remarked that Sidney Elliot was coming home XXXXX Stillwater .
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