He tore about and sent messages to Jem by them all . Mr. Meredith read an address and Reta Crawford recited ` The Piper . ' The soldiers cheered her like mad and cried ` We 'll follow -- we 'll follow -- we wo n't break faith , ' and I felt so proud to think that it was my dear brother who had written such a wonderful , heart-stirring thing . And then I looked at the khaki ranks and wondered if those tall fellows in uniform could be the boys I 've laughed with and played with and danced with and teased all my life . Something seems to have touched them and set them apart . They have heard the Piper 's call . `` Fred Arnold was in the battalion and I felt dreadfully about him , for I realized that it was because of me that he was going away with such a sorrowful expression . I could n't help it but I felt as badly as if I could . `` The last evening of his leave Fred came up to Ingleside and told me he loved me and asked me if I would promise to marry him some day , if he ever came back . He was desperately in earnest and I felt more wretched than I ever did in my life . I could n't promise him that -- why , even if there was no question of Ken , I do n't care for Fred that way and never could -- but it seemed so cruel and heartless to send him away to the front without any hope of comfort . I cried like a baby ; and yet -- oh , I am afraid that there must be something incurably frivolous about me , because , right in the middle of it all , with me crying and Fred looking so wild and tragic , the thought popped into my head that it would be an unendurable thing to see that nose across from me at the breakfast table every morning of my life . There , that is one of the entries I would n't want my descendants to read in this journal . But it is the humiliating truth ; and perhaps it 's just as well that thought did come or I might have been tricked by pity and remorse into giving him some rash assurance . If Fred 's nose were as handsome as his eyes and mouth some such thing might have happened . And then what an unthinkable predicament I should have been in ! `` When poor Fred became convinced that I could n't promise him , he behaved beautifully -- though that rather made things worse . If he had been nasty about it I would n't have felt so heartbroken and remorseful -- though why I should feel remorseful I do n't know , for I never encouraged Fred to think I cared a bit about him . Yet feel remorseful I did -- and do . If Fred Arnold never comes back from overseas , this will haunt me all my life .
`` Then Fred said if he could n't take my love XXXXX him to the trenches at least he wanted to feel that he had my friendship , and would I kiss him just once in good-bye before he went -- perhaps for ever ?
If as at by like of than that with without