It was foolish of me to expect -- to hope for anything of the sort . You are a thousand times too good for me , I know . '' `` Oh , indeed I 'm not , Jack , '' I protested . `` If you knew how horrid I am , really , you 'd be glad and thankful for your escape . Oh , Jack , I wish people never grew up . '' Jack smiled sadly . `` Do n't feel badly over this , Kitty . It is n't your fault . Good night , dear . '' He turned my face up and kissed me squarely on the mouth . He had never kissed me since the summer before he went away to college . Somehow it did n't seem a bit the same as it used to ; it was -- nicer now . After he went away I came upstairs and had a good , comfortable howl . Then I buried the whole affair decently . I am not going to think of it any more . I shall always have the highest esteem for Jack , and I hope he will soon find some nice girl who will make him happy . Mary Carter would jump at him , I know . To be sure , she is as homely as she can be and live . But , then , Jack is always telling me how little he cares for beauty , so I have no doubt she will suit him admirably . As for myself -- well , I am ambitious .
I do n't suppose my ambition is a very lofty one , but such XXXXX it is I mean to hunt it down .
After If as at before of on over so to