And if not , would not the loss be most irreparable and bitter ? Would it not be better to go away , having looked at it from the hill and having heard the saga of the firs , keeping his memory of it unblurred , than risk the probable disillusion of a return to the places that had forgotten him and friends whom the varying years must certainly have changed as he had changed himself ? No , he would not go down . It had been a foolish whim to come at all -- foolish , because the object of his quest was not to be found there or elsewhere . He could not enter again into the heritage of boyhood and the heart of youth . He could not find there the old dreams and hopes that had made life sweet . He understood that he could not bring back to the old valley what he had taken from it . He had lost that intangible , all-real wealth of faith and idealism and zest ; he had bartered it away for the hard , yellow gold of the marketplace , and he realized at last how much poorer he was than when he had left that home valley . His was a name that stood for millions , but he was beggared of hope and purpose . No , he would not go down . There was no one left there , unchanged and unchanging , to welcome him . He would be a stranger there , even among his kin . He would stay awhile on the hill , until the night came down over it , and then he would go back to his own place . Down below him , on the crest of a little upland , he saw his old home , a weather-grey house , almost hidden among white birch and apple trees , with a thick fir grove to the north of it . He had been born in that old house ; his earliest memory was of standing on its threshold and looking afar up to the long green hills . `` What is over the hills ? '' he had asked of his mother . With a smile she had made answer , `` Many things , laddie . Wonderful things , beautiful things , heart-breaking things . '' `` Some day I shall go over the hills and find them all , Mother , '' he had said stoutly .
She had laughed and sighed and caught him XXXXX her heart .
among as if in into of over than that to