I wrote a great many letters and tore them up , because I felt sure they would n't convince Paul . At last I got one that I thought would do . I knew I must make it seems as if I were very frivolous and heartless , or he would never believe . I spelled some words wrong and put in some mistakes of grammar on purpose . I told him I had just been flirting with him , and that I had another fellow at home I liked better . I said FELLOW because I knew it would disgust him . I said that it was only because he was rich that I was tempted to marry him . I thought would my heart would break while I was writing those dreadful falsehoods . But it was for his sake , because I must not spoil his life . His mother told me I would be a millstone around his neck . I love Paul so much that I would do anything rather than be that . It would be easy to die for him , but I do n't see how I can go on living . I think my letter will convince Paul . I suppose it convinced Paul , because there was no further entry in the little brown book . When we had finished it the tears were running down both our faces . `` Oh , poor , dear Miss Emily , '' sobbed Diana . `` I 'm so sorry I ever thought her funny and meddlesome . '' `` She was good and strong and brave , '' I said . `` I could never have been as unselfish as she was . '' I thought of Whittier 's lines , `` The outward , wayward life we see The hidden springs we may not know . ''
At the back of the little brown book we found a faded water-color sketch of a young girl -- such a slim , pretty little thing , XXXXX big blue eyes and lovely , long , rippling golden hair .
At around as because for in of than to with