He said if I did not it would mean shame and disgrace for us all -- that Captain Harmon had some hold on him and would tell what he knew if I did not marry him . I do n't know what it was but it must have been something dreadful . And he said it would kill Mother . I knew it would , and that was what drove me to consent at last . Oh , I ca n't tell you what I suffered . I was only seventeen and there was nobody to advise me . One day Father and Captain Harmon and I went down the lake to Crosse Harbour and we were married there . As soon as the ceremony was over , Captain Harmon had to sail in his vessel . He was going to China . Father and I came back home . Nobody knew -- not even Emily . He said we must not tell Mother until she was better . But she was never better . She only lived three months more -- she lived them happily and at rest . When I think of that , I am not sorry for what I did . Captain Harmon said he would be back in the fall to claim me . I waited , sick at heart . But he did not come -- he has never come . We have never heard a word of or about him since . Sometimes I feel sure he can not be still living .
But never a day dawns that I do n't say XXXXX myself , ` Perhaps he will come today ' -- and , oh -- '' She broke down again , sobbing bitterly .
about as at down for if of that to until