I DO know my own mind , '' protested Anne . `` The trouble is , my mind changes and then I have to get acquainted with it all over again . '' `` Well , I suppose there is no use in saying anything to you . '' `` There is no need , Phil . I 'm in the dust . This has spoiled everything backwards . I can never think of Redmond days without recalling the humiliation of this evening . Roy despises me -- and you despise me -- and I despise myself . '' `` You poor darling , '' said Phil , melting . `` Just come here and let me comfort you . I 've no right to scold you . I 'd have married Alec or Alonzo if I had n't met Jo . Oh , Anne , things are so mixed-up in real life . They are n't clear-cut and trimmed off , as they are in novels . '' `` I hope that NO one will ever again ask me to marry him as long as I live , '' sobbed poor Anne , devoutly believing that she meant it . Chapter XXXIX Deals with Weddings Anne felt that life partook of the nature of an anticlimax during the first few weeks after her return to Green Gables . She missed the merry comradeship of Patty 's Place . She had dreamed some brilliant dreams during the past winter and now they lay in the dust around her . In her present mood of self-disgust , she could not immediately begin dreaming again . And she discovered that , while solitude with dreams is glorious , solitude without them has few charms .
She had not seen Roy again after their painful parting XXXXX the park pavilion ; but Dorothy came to see her before she left Kingsport .
Alec around as days during if in of that to