And she must live on here -- petting and soothing Dick , pinching and saving for a mere existence , while I spend my life longing vainly for her , and debarred , by that very fact , from even giving her the little help a friend might . I walked the shore last night , almost till dawn , and thrashed it all out over and over again . And yet , in spite of everything , I ca n't find it in my heart to be sorry that I came to Four Winds . It seems to me that , bad as everything is , it would be still worse never to have known Leslie . It 's burning , searing pain to love her and leave her -- but not to have loved her is unthinkable . I suppose all this sounds very crazy -- all these terrible emotions always do sound foolish when we put them into our inadequate words . They are not meant to be spoken -- only felt and endured . I should n't have spoken -- but it has helped -- some . At least , it has given me strength to go away respectably tomorrow morning , without making a scene . You 'll write me now and then , wo n't you , Mrs. Blythe , and give me what news there is to give of her ? '' `` Yes , '' said Anne . `` Oh , I 'm so sorry you are going -- we 'll miss you so -- we 've all been such friends ! If it were not for this you could come back other summers . Perhaps , even yet -- by-and-by -- when you 've forgotten , perhaps -- '' `` I shall never forget -- and I shall never come back to Four Winds , '' said Owen briefly . Silence and twilight fell over the garden . Far away the sea was lapping gently and monotonously on the bar . The wind of evening in the poplars sounded like some sad , weird , old rune -- some broken dream of old memories . A slender shapely young aspen rose up before them against the fine maize and emerald and paling rose of the western sky , which brought out every leaf and twig in dark , tremulous , elfin loveliness . `` Is n't that beautiful ? '' said Owen , pointing to it with the air of a man who puts a certain conversation behind him .
`` It 's so beautiful XXXXX it hurts me , '' said Anne softly .
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