Sometimes it seems to me that I just ca n't bear it , it hurts so . '' Paul 's voice quivered and his lip trembled . He looked down at his roses , hoping that his teacher would not notice the tears in his eyes . `` And yet , '' said Anne , very softly , `` you would n't want it to stop hurting ... you would n't want to forget your little mother even if you could . '' `` No , indeed , I would n't ... that 's just the way I feel . You 're so good at understanding , teacher . Nobody else understands so well ... not even grandma , although she 's so good to me . Father understood pretty well , but still I could n't talk much to him about mother , because it made him feel so bad . When he put his hand over his face I always knew it was time to stop . Poor father , he must be dreadfully lonesome without me ; but you see he has nobody but a housekeeper now and he thinks housekeepers are no good to bring up little boys , especially when he has to be away from home so much on business . Grandmothers are better , next to mothers . Someday , when I 'm brought up , I 'll go back to father and we 're never going to be parted again . '' Paul had talked so much to Anne about his mother and father that she felt as if she had known them . She thought his mother must have been very like what he was himself , in temperament and disposition ; and she had an idea that Stephen Irving was a rather reserved man with a deep and tender nature which he kept hidden scrupulously from the world . `` Father 's not very easy to get acquainted with , '' Paul had said once . `` I never got really acquainted with him until after my little mother died . But he 's splendid when you do get to know him . I love him the best in all the world , and Grandma Irving next , and then you , teacher . I 'd love you next to father if it was n't my DUTY to love Grandma Irving best , because she 's doing so much for me . YOU know , teacher .
I wish she would leave the lamp in my room till I go XXXXX sleep , though .
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