He was very much shocked . But I do n't want you to misunderstand me . Father does not go to church because he does not believe there is a God . But I know there is . Mother taught me so . I have never gone to church because Father would not allow me , and I could not go now in Rexton where the people talk about me so . Oh , I know they do -- you know it , too -- but I do not care for them . I know I 'm not like other girls . I would like to be but I ca n't be -- I never can be -- now . '' There was some strange passion in her voice that Alan did not quite understand -- a bitterness and a revolt which he took to be against the circumstances that hedged her in . `` Is not some other life possible for you if your present life does not content you ? '' he said gently . `` But it does content me , '' said Lynde imperiously . `` I want no other -- I wish this life to go on forever -- forever , do you understand ? If I were sure that it would -- if I were sure that no change would ever come to me , I would be perfectly content . It is the fear that a change will come that makes me wretched . Oh ! '' She shuddered and put her hands over her eyes . Alan thought she must mean that when her father died she would be alone in the world . He wanted to comfort her -- reassure her -- but he did not know how .
One evening when he went XXXXX Four Winds he found the door open and , seeing the Captain in the living room , he stepped in unannounced .
Alan Rexton against for if in like over that to