And I want to talk to you , Avis , as I have always talked to you every Christmastide since we were children together . I have missed you so tonight , dear friend and sympathizer -- no words can tell how I have missed you -- your welcoming handclasp and your sweet face in the firelight shadows . I could not bear to speak your name , the aching sense of loss was so bitter . Amid all the Christmas mirth and good fellowship I felt the sorrow of your vacant chair . Avis , I wanted to tell you what the year had brought to me . My theory has been proved ; it has made me a famous man . Last Christmas , Avis , I told you of it , and you listened and understood and believed in it . Dear Avis , once again I thank you for all you have been to me -- all you are yet . I have brought you your roses ; they are as white and pure and fragrant as your life . '' Other footsteps came so quickly on Doctor Fritz ' retreating ones that Nanny could not rise . It was Laddie this time -- gay , careless , thoughtless Laddie . `` Roses ? So Fritz has been here ! I have brought you lilies , Avis . Oh , Avis , I miss you so ! You were so jolly and good -- you understood a fellow so well . I had to come here tonight to tell you how much I miss you . It does n't seem half home without you . Avis , I 'm trying to be a better chap -- more the sort of man you 'd have me be . I 've given the old set the go-by -- I 'm trying to live up to your standard .
It would be easier if you were here XXXXX help me .
Amid Laddie as for in of on sympathizer to without