Everything was disorganized -- the roads were completely choked up , the trains blockaded , and the telephone wires put entirely out of commission . `` And then Jims took ill . `` He had a little cold when father and mother went away , and he kept getting worse for a couple of days , but it did n't occur to me that there was danger of anything serious . I never even took his temperature , and I ca n't forgive myself , because it was sheer carelessness . The truth is I had slumped just then . Mother was away , so I let myself go . All at once I was tired of keeping up and pretending to be brave and cheerful , and I just gave up for a few days and spent most of the time lying on my face on my bed , crying . I neglected Jims -- that is the hateful truth -- I was cowardly and false to what I promised Walter -- and if Jims had died I could never have forgiven myself . `` Then , the third night after father and mother went away , Jims suddenly got worse -- oh , so much worse -- all at once . Susan and I were all alone . Gertrude had been at Lowbridge when the storm began and had never got back . At first we were not much alarmed . Jims has had several bouts of croup and Susan and Morgan and I have always brought him through without much trouble . But it was n't very long before we were dreadfully alarmed . '' ' I never saw croup like this before , ' said Susan . `` As for me , I knew , when it was too late , what kind of croup it was . I knew it was not the ordinary croup -- ` false croup ' as doctors call it -- but the ` true croup ' -- and I knew that it was a deadly and dangerous thing . And father was away and there was no doctor nearer than Lowbridge -- and we could not ` phone and neither horse nor man could get through the drifts that night . `` Gallant little Jims put up a good fight for his life , -- Susan and I tried every remedy we could think of or find in father 's books , but he continued to grow worse . It was heart-rending to see and hear him .
He gasped so horribly XXXXX breath -- the poor little soul -- and his face turned a dreadful bluish colour and had such an agonized expression , and he kept struggling with his little hands , as if he were appealing to us to help him somehow .
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