I had often in my own mind pictured this , my first meeting with Alicia , now in one way , now in another , but never had I dreamed of her speaking to me at all , so that it came to me as a great surprise when she turned and , holding out her lovely hands , said very graciously : `` And is this the little Beatrice ? I have heard much of you -- come , kiss me , child . '' And I went , despite my Aunt Elizabeth 's black frown , for the glamour of her loveliness was upon me , and I no longer wondered that my Uncle Hugh should have loved her . Very proud of her was he too ; yet I felt , rather than saw -- for I was sensitive and quick of perception , as old-young children ever are -- that there was something other than pride and love in his face when he looked on her , and more in his manner than the fond lover -- as it were , a sort of lurking mistrust . Nor could I think , though to me the thought seemed as treason , that she loved her husband overmuch , for she seemed half condescending and half disdainful to him ; yet one thought not of this in her presence , but only remembered it when she had gone . When she went out it seemed to me that nothing was left , so I crept lonesomely away to the wing hall and sat down by a window to dream of her ; and she filled my thoughts so fully that it was no surprise when I raised my eyes and saw her coming down the hall alone , her bright head shining against the dark old walls . When she paused by me and asked me lightly of what I was dreaming , since I had such a sober face , I answered her truly that it was of her -- whereat she laughed , as one not ill pleased , and said half mockingly : `` Waste not your thoughts so , little Beatrice . But come with me , child , if you will , for I have taken a strange fancy to your solemn eyes . Perchance the warmth of your young life may thaw out the ice that has frozen around my heart ever since I came among these cold Montressors . '' And , though I understood not her meaning , I went , glad to see the Red Room once more . So she made me sit down and talk to her , which I did , for shyness was no failing of mine ; and she asked me many questions , and some that I thought she should not have asked , but I could not answer them , so ` twere little harm . After that I spent a part of every day with her in the Red Room . And my Uncle Hugh was there often , and he would kiss her and praise her loveliness , not heeding my presence -- for I was but a child . Yet it ever seemed to me that she endured rather than welcomed his caresses , and at times the ever-burning flame in her eyes glowed so luridly that a chill dread would creep over me , and I would remember what my Aunt Elizabeth had said , she being a bitter-tongued woman , though kind at heart -- that this strange creature would bring on us all some evil fortune yet . Then would I strive to banish such thoughts and chide myself for doubting one so kind to me . When Christmas Eve drew nigh my silly head was full of the ball day and night . But a grievous disappointment befell me , for I awakened that day very ill with a most severe cold ; and though I bore me bravely , my aunts discovered it soon , when , despite my piteous pleadings , I was put to bed , where I cried bitterly and would not be comforted . For I thought I should not see the fine folk and , more than all , Alicia . But that disappointment , at least , was spared me , for at night she came into my room , knowing of my longing -- she was ever indulgent to my little wishes . And when I saw her I forgot my aching limbs and burning brow , and even the ball I was not to see , for never was mortal creature so lovely as she , standing there by my bed .
Her gown was of white , and there was nothing I could liken the stuff to save moonshine falling athwart a frosted pane , and out from it swelled her gleaming breast and arms , so bare that it seemed XXXXX me a shame to look upon them .
For as despite if of out since so than to