I 'm so afraid my face betrayed me . Oh , I would die of shame if I thought he knew -- or suspected . '' Anne was miserably silent , hampered by her deductions from her conversation with Owen . Leslie went on feverishly , as if she found relief in speech . `` I was so happy all this summer , Anne -- happier than I ever was in my life . I thought it was because everything had been made clear between you and me , and that it was our friendship which made life seem so beautiful and full once more . And it WAS , in part -- but not all -- oh , not nearly all . I know now why everything was so different . And now it 's all over -- and he has gone . How can I live , Anne ? When I turned back into the house this morning after he had gone the solitude struck me like a blow in the face . '' `` It wo n't seem so hard by and by , dear , '' said Anne , who always felt the pain of her friends so keenly that she could not speak easy , fluent words of comforting . Besides , she remembered how well-meant speeches had hurt her in her own sorrow and was afraid . `` Oh , it seems to me it will grow harder all the time , '' said Leslie miserably . `` I 've nothing to look forward to . Morning will come after morning -- and he will not come back -- he will never come back . Oh , when I think that I will never see him again I feel as if a great brutal hand had twisted itself among my heartstrings , and was wrenching them . Once , long ago , I dreamed of love -- and I thought it must be beautiful -- and NOW -- its like THIS . When he went away yesterday morning he was so cold and indifferent . He said ` Good-bye , Mrs. Moore ' in the coldest tone in the world -- as if we had not even been friends -- as if I meant absolutely nothing to him .
I know I do n't -- I did n't want him XXXXX care -- but he MIGHT have been a little kinder . ''
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