And when Tom got on shore the first thing he saw was a great pillar , on one side of which was inscribed , `` Playthings not allowed here ; '' at which he was so shocked that he would not stay to see what was written on the other side . Then he looked round for the people of the island : but instead of men , women , and children , he found nothing but turnips and radishes , beet and mangold wurzel , without a single green leaf among them , and half of them burst and decayed , with toad-stools growing out of them . Those which were left began crying to Tom , in half a dozen different languages at once , and all of them badly spoken , `` I ca n't learn my lesson ; do come and help me ! '' And one cried , `` Can you show me how to extract this square root ? '' And another , `` Can you tell me the distance between -LSB- alpha -RSB- Lyrae and -LSB- beta -RSB- Camelopardis ? '' And another , `` What is the latitude and longitude of Snooksville , in Noman 's County , Oregon , U.S. ? '' And another , `` What was the name of Mutius Scaevola 's thirteenth cousin 's grandmother 's maid 's cat ? '' And another , `` How long would it take a school-inspector of average activity to tumble head over heels from London to York ? '' And another , `` Can you tell me the name of a place that nobody ever heard of , where nothing ever happened , in a country which has not been discovered yet ? '' And another , `` Can you show me how to correct this hopelessly corrupt passage of Graidiocolosyrtus Tabenniticus , on the cause why crocodiles have no tongues ? '' And so on , and so on , and so on , till one would have thought they were all trying for tide-waiters ' places , or cornetcies in the heavy dragoons . `` And what good on earth will it do you if I did tell you ? '' quoth Tom . Well , they did n't know that : all they knew was the examiner was coming . Then Tom stumbled on the hugest and softest nimblecomequick turnip you ever saw filling a hole in a crop of swedes , and it cried to him , `` Can you tell me anything at all about anything you like ? '' `` About what ? '' says Tom . `` About anything you like ; for as fast as I learn things I forget them again . So my mamma says that my intellect is not adapted for methodic science , and says that I must go in for general information . '' Tom told him that he did not know general information , nor any officers in the army ; only he had a friend once that went for a drummer : but he could tell him a great many strange things which he had seen in his travels .
XXXXX he told him prettily enough , while the poor turnip listened very carefully ; and the more he listened , the more he forgot , and the more water ran out of him .
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