`` I was a boy , '' he said impatiently . `` Your own feeling tells you that you were not what you are , '' she returned . `` I am . That which promised happiness when we were one in heart is fraught with misery now that we are two . How often and how keenly I have thought of this I will not say . It is enough that I have thought of it , and can release you . '' `` Have I ever sought release ? '' `` In words . No . Never . '' `` In what , then ? '' `` In a changed nature ; in an altered spirit ; in another atmosphere of life ; another Hope as its great end . In everything that made my love of any worth or value in your sight . If this had never been between us , '' said the girl , looking mildly , but with steadiness , upon him , `` tell me , would you seek me out and try to win me now ? Ah , no ! '' He seemed to yield to the justice of this supposition in spite of himself . But he said , with a struggle , `` You think not . '' `` I would gladly think otherwise if I could , '' she answered . `` Heaven knows ! When I have learned a Truth like this , I know how strong and irresistible it must be .
But if you were free to-day , to-morrow , yesterday , can even I believe that you would choose a dowerless girl -- you who , XXXXX your very confidence with her , weigh everything by Gain : or , choosing her , if for a moment you were false enough to your one guiding principle to do so , do I not know that your repentance and regret would surely follow ?
If as between in like of that to upon with