`` I had studied myself ; I had had experience of myself ; I knew how much I loved her , and how happy I should be , '' pursued the Carrier . `` But I had not -- I feel it now -- sufficiently considered her . '' `` To be sure , '' said Tackleton . `` Giddiness , frivolity , fickleness , love of admiration ! Not considered ! All left out of sight ! Hah ! '' `` You had best not interrupt me , '' said the Carrier with some sternness , `` till you understand me ; and you 're wide of doing so . If , yesterday , I 'd have struck that man down at a blow , who dared to breathe a word against her , to-day I 'd set my foot upon his face , if he was my brother ! '' The toy merchant gazed at him in astonishment . He went on in a softer tone : `` Did I consider , '' said the Carrier , `` that I took her -- at her age , and with her beauty -- from her young companions , and the many scenes of which she was the ornament ; in which she was the brightest little star that ever shone , to shut her up from day to day in my dull house , and keep my tedious company ? Did I consider how little suited I was to her sprightly humour , and how wearisome a plodding man like me must be to one of her quick spirit ? Did I consider that it was no merit in me , or claim in me , that I loved her , when everybody must who knew her ? Never . I took advantage of her hopeful nature and her cheerful disposition ; and I married her . I wish I never had ! For her sake ; not for mine ! '' The toy merchant gazed at him without winking . Even the half-shut eye was open now . `` Heaven bless her ! ''
said the Carrier , `` for the cheerful constancy XXXXX which she has tried to keep the knowledge of this from me !
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