My heart broke then , I never cared for anybody again -- I could n't . I have always loved him . But it would have been so much easier to bear if I had only known that he loved me -- oh , it would have made all the difference in the world . And the sting of it has been there all these years . I ca n't even permit myself the joy of dwelling on his memory because of the thought that perhaps he did not care . '' `` He must have cared , '' I said warmly . `` He could n't have helped it , Miss Sylvia . '' Miss Sylvia shook her head with a sad smile . `` I can not be sure . Sometimes I think he did . But then the doubt creeps back again . I would give almost anything to know that he did -- to know that I have not lavished all the love of my life on a man who did not want it . And I never can know , never -- I can hope and almost believe , but I can never know . Oh , you do n't understand -- a man could n't fully understand what my pain has been over it . You see now why I want you to change the story . I am sorry for that poor girl , but if you only let her know that he really loves her she will not mind all the rest so very much ; she will be able to bear the pain of even life-long separation if she only knows . '' Miss Sylvia picked up her knitting and went away . As for me , I thought savagely of the dead man she loved and called him a cad , or at best , a fool . Next day Miss Sylvia was her serene , smiling self once more , and she did not again make any reference to what she had told me . A fortnight later she returned home and I went my way back to the world .
During the following winter I wrote several letters to Miss XXXXX and received replies from her .
Sylvia cad girl heart home knitting life rest story years