Meg did n't like to be pitied and made to feel poor . It irritated her , but she was ashamed to confess it , and now and then she tried to console herself by buying something pretty , so that Sallie need n't think she had to economize . She always felt wicked after it , for the pretty things were seldom necessaries , but then they cost so little , it was n't worth worrying about , so the trifles increased unconsciously , and in the shopping excursions she was no longer a passive looker-on . But the trifles cost more than one would imagine , and when she cast up her accounts at the end of the month the sum total rather scared her . John was busy that month and left the bills to her , the next month he was absent , but the third he had a grand quarterly settling up , and Meg never forgot it . A few days before she had done a dreadful thing , and it weighed upon her conscience . Sallie had been buying silks , and Meg longed for a new one , just a handsome light one for parties , her black silk was so common , and thin things for evening wear were only proper for girls . Aunt March usually gave the sisters a present of twenty-five dollars apiece at New Year 's . That was only a month to wait , and here was a lovely violet silk going at a bargain , and she had the money , if she only dared to take it . John always said what was his was hers , but would he think it right to spend not only the prospective five-and-twenty , but another five-and-twenty out of the household fund ? That was the question . Sallie had urged her to do it , had offered to lend the money , and with the best intentions in life had tempted Meg beyond her strength . In an evil moment the shopman held up the lovely , shimmering folds , and said , `` A bargain , I assure , you , ma'am . '' She answered , `` I 'll take it , '' and it was cut off and paid for , and Sallie had exulted , and she had laughed as if it were a thing of no consequence , and driven away , feeling as if she had stolen something , and the police were after her . When she got home , she tried to assuage the pangs of remorse by spreading forth the lovely silk , but it looked less silvery now , did n't become her , after all , and the words ` fifty dollars ' seemed stamped like a pattern down each breadth . She put it away , but it haunted her , not delightfully as a new dress should , but dreadfully like the ghost of a folly that was not easily laid . When John got out his books that night , Meg 's heart sank , and for the first time in her married life , she was afraid of her husband . The kind , brown eyes looked as if they could be stern , and though he was unusually merry , she fancied he had found her out , but did n't mean to let her know it . The house bills were all paid , the books all in order . John had praised her , and was undoing the old pocketbook which they called the ` bank ' , when Meg , knowing that it was quite empty , stopped his hand , saying nervously ... `` You have n't seen my private expense book yet . ''
XXXXX never asked to see it , but she always insisted on his doing so , and used to enjoy his masculine amazement at the queer things women wanted , and made him guess what piping was , demand fiercely the meaning of a hug-me-tight , or wonder how a little thing composed of three rosebuds , a bit of velvet , and a pair of strings , could possibly be a bonnet , and cost six dollars .
John Meg Sallie first left month night shopman silks third