And so on ; all the time with a gibing voice and face . I knew it was my own doing , and no one else 's ; but I was too miserable to repent . I felt I could drag myself but little farther ; pretty soon , I must lie down and die on these wet mountains like a sheep or a fox , and my bones must whiten there like the bones of a beast . My head was light perhaps ; but I began to love the prospect , I began to glory in the thought of such a death , alone in the desert , with the wild eagles besieging my last moments . Alan would repent then , I thought ; he would remember , when I was dead , how much he owed me , and the remembrance would be torture . So I went like a sick , silly , and bad-hearted schoolboy , feeding my anger against a fellow-man , when I would have been better on my knees , crying on God for mercy . And at each of Alan 's taunts , I hugged myself . `` Ah ! '' thinks I to myself , `` I have a better taunt in readiness ; when I lie down and die , you will feel it like a buffet in your face ; ah , what a revenge ! ah , how you will regret your ingratitude and cruelty ! '' All the while , I was growing worse and worse . Once I had fallen , my leg simply doubling under me , and this had struck Alan for the moment ; but I was afoot so briskly , and set off again with such a natural manner , that he soon forgot the incident . Flushes of heat went over me , and then spasms of shuddering . The stitch in my side was hardly bearable . At last I began to feel that I could trail myself no farther : and with that , there came on me all at once the wish to have it out with Alan , let my anger blaze , and be done with my life in a more sudden manner . He had just called me `` Whig . '' I stopped . `` Mr. Stewart , '' said I , in a voice that quivered like a fiddle-string , `` you are older than I am , and should know your manners . Do you think it either very wise or very witty to cast my politics in my teeth ? I thought , where folk differed , it was the part of gentlemen to differ civilly ; and if I did not , I may tell you I could find a better taunt than some of yours . ''
XXXXX had stopped opposite to me , his hat cocked , his hands in his breeches pockets , his head a little on one side .
Alan Flushes Mr. Stewart Whig fellow-man one politics prospect torture