`` I would n't . It 's strange -- is n't it ? -- They have been two terrible years -- and yet I have a queer feeling of thankfulness for them -- as if they had brought me something very precious , with all their pain . I would n't want to go back and be the girl I was two years ago , not even if I could . Not that I think I 've made any wonderful progress -- but I 'm not quite the selfish , frivolous little doll I was then . I suppose I had a soul then , Miss Oliver -- but I did n't know it . I know it now -- and that is worth a great deal -- worth all the suffering of the past two years . And still '' -- Rilla gave a little apologetic laugh , `` I do n't want to suffer any more -- not even for the sake of more soul growth . At the end of two more years I might look back and be thankful for the development they had brought me , too ; but I do n't want it now . '' `` We never do , '' said Miss Oliver . `` That is why we are not left to choose our own means and measure of development , I suppose . No matter how much we value what our lessons have brought us we do n't want to go on with the bitter schooling . Well , let us hope for the best , as Susan says ; things are really going well now and if Rumania lines up , the end may come with a suddenness that will surprise us all . '' Rumania did come in -- and Susan remarked approvingly that its king and queen were the finest looking royal couple she had seen pictures of . So the summer passed away . Early in September word came that the Canadians had been shifted to the Somme front and anxiety grew tenser and deeper . For the first time Mrs. Blythe 's spirit failed her a little , and as the days of suspense wore on the doctor began to look gravely at her , and veto this or that special effort in Red Cross work . `` Oh , let me work -- let me work , Gilbert , '' she entreated feverishly . `` While I 'm working I do n't think so much . If I 'm idle I imagine everything -- rest is only torture for me .
My two boys are on the frightful XXXXX front -- and Shirley pores day and night over aviation literature and says nothing .
Blythe Canadians Cross Gilbert Rilla Somme days left torture years