`` Oh , if he only would ! So kind , so good , so patient with me always , my dear old Fritz . I did n't value him half enough when I had him , but now how I should love to see him , for everyone seems going away from me , and I 'm all alone . '' And holding the little paper fast , as if it were a promise yet to be fulfilled , Jo laid her head down on a comfortable rag bag , and cried , as if in opposition to the rain pattering on the roof . Was it all self-pity , loneliness , or low spirits ? Or was it the waking up of a sentiment which had bided its time as patiently as its inspirer ? Who shall say ? CHAPTER FORTY-THREE SURPRISES Jo was alone in the twilight , lying on the old sofa , looking at the fire , and thinking . It was her favorite way of spending the hour of dusk . No one disturbed her , and she used to lie there on Beth 's little red pillow , planning stories , dreaming dreams , or thinking tender thoughts of the sister who never seemed far away . Her face looked tired , grave , and rather sad , for tomorrow was her birthday , and she was thinking how fast the years went by , how old she was getting , and how little she seemed to have accomplished . Almost twenty-five , and nothing to show for it . Jo was mistaken in that . There was a good deal to show , and by-and-by she saw , and was grateful for it . `` An old maid , that 's what I 'm to be . A literary spinster , with a pen for a spouse , a family of stories for children , and twenty years hence a morsel of fame , perhaps , when , like poor Johnson , I 'm old and ca n't enjoy it , solitary , and ca n't share it , independent , and do n't need it . Well , I need n't be a sour saint nor a selfish sinner , and , I dare say , old maids are very comfortable when they get used to it , but ... '' and there Jo sighed , as if the prospect was not inviting . It seldom is , at first , and thirty seems the end of all things to five-and-twenty . But it 's not as bad as it looks , and one can get on quite happily if one has something in one 's self to fall back upon . At twenty-five , girls begin to talk about being old maids , but secretly resolve that they never will be .
At thirty they say nothing about it , but quietly accept the fact , and if sensible , console themselves by remembering that they have twenty more useful , happy XXXXX , in which they may be learning to grow old gracefully .
Beth Fritz fire first independent inspirer pattering spinster twilight years