I see that you have trudged half a score of miles to-day , and like a wise man have passed by the taverns and stopped at the running brooks and well-curbs . Otherwise , betwixt heat without and fire within , you would have been burnt to a cinder or melted down to nothing at all , in the fashion of a jelly-fish . Drink and make room for that other fellow , who seeks my aid to quench the fiery fever of last night 's potations , which he drained from no cup of mine . -- Welcome , most rubicund sir ! You and I have been great strangers hitherto ; nor , to confess the truth , will my nose be anxious for a closer intimacy till the fumes of your breath be a little less potent . Mercy on you , man ! the water absolutely hisses down your red-hot gullet and is converted quite to steam in the miniature Tophet which you mistake for a stomach . Fill again , and tell me , on the word of an honest toper , did you ever , in cellar , tavern , or any kind of a dram-shop , spend the price of your children 's food for a swig half so delicious ? Now , for the first time these ten years , you know the flavor of cold water . Good-bye ; and whenever you are thirsty , remember that I keep a constant supply at the old stand . -- Who next ? -- Oh , my little friend , you are let loose from school and come hither to scrub your blooming face and drown the memory of certain taps of the ferule , and other schoolboy troubles , in a draught from the town-pump ? Take it , pure as the current of your young life . Take it , and may your heart and tongue never be scorched with a fiercer thirst than now ! There , my dear child ! put down the cup and yield your place to this elderly gentleman who treads so tenderly over the paving-stones that I suspect he is afraid of breaking them . What ! he limps by without so much as thanking me , as if my hospitable offers were meant only for people who have no wine-cellars . -- Well , well , sir , no harm done , I hope ? Go draw the cork , tip the decanter ; but when your great toe shall set you a-roaring , it will be no affair of mine .
If gentlemen love the pleasant titillation of the gout , it is all one to the XXXXX .
a-roaring decanter ferule fire jelly-fish night paving-stones town-pump well-curbs years