After her departure I remarked that the symbol was none of the most apt . `` And yet , '' said my friend the sculptor , embodying in this image the thoughts that had been passing through my own mind , `` that broken rose has shed its sweet smell through forty years of the good woman 's life . '' It was seldom that I could find such pleasant food for contemplation as in the above instance . None of the applicants , I think , affected me more disagreeably than an old man who came , with his fourth wife hanging on his arm , to bespeak gravestones for the three former occupants of his marriage-bed . I watched with some anxiety to see whether his remembrance of either were more affectionate than of the other two , but could discover no symptom of the kind . The three monuments were all to be of the same material and form , and each decorated in bas-relief with two weeping willows , one of these sympathetic trees bending over its fellow , which was to be broken in the midst and rest upon a sepulchral urn . This , indeed , was Mr. Wigglesworth 's standing emblem of conjugal bereavement . I shuddered at the gray polygamist who had so utterly lost the holy sense of individuality in wedlock that methought he was fain to reckon upon his fingers how many women who had once slept by his side were now sleeping in their graves . There was even -- if I wrong him , it is no great matter -- a glance sidelong at his living spouse , as if he were inclined to drive a thriftier bargain by bespeaking four gravestones in a lot . I was better pleased with a rough old whaling-captain who gave directions for a broad marble slab divided into two compartments , one of which was to contain an epitaph on his deceased wife and the other to be left vacant till death should engrave his own name there . As is frequently the case among the whalers of Martha 's Vineyard , so much of this storm-beaten widower 's life had been tossed away on distant seas that out of twenty years of matrimony he had spent scarce three , and those at scattered intervals , beneath his own roof . Thus the wife of his youth , though she died in his and her declining age , retained the bridal dewdrops fresh around her memory . My observations gave me the idea , and Mr. Wigglesworth confirmed it , that husbands were more faithful in setting up memorials to their dead wives than widows to their dead husbands . I was not ill-natured enough to fancy that women less than men feel so sure of their own constancy as to be willing to give a pledge of it in marble . It is more probably the fact that , while men are able to reflect upon their lost companions as remembrances apart from themselves , women , on the other hand , are conscious that a portion of their being has gone with the departed whithersoever he has gone . Soul clings to soul , the living dust has a sympathy with the dust of the grave ; and by the very strength of that sympathy the wife of the dead shrinks the more sensitively from reminding the world of its existence . The link is already strong enough ; it needs no visible symbol . And , though a shadow walks ever by her side and the touch of a chill hand is on her bosom , yet life , and perchance its natural yearnings , may still be warm within her and inspire her with new hopes of happiness . Then would she mark out the grave the scent of which would be perceptible on the pillow of the second bridal ? No , but rather level its green mound with the surrounding earth , as if , when she dug up again her buried heart , the spot had ceased to be a grave .
Yet , in spite of these sentimentalities , I was prodigiously amused by an incident of which I had not the good-fortune to be a witness , but which Mr. XXXXX related with considerable humor .
Martha Wigglesworth emblem fourth gravestones left polygamist second whaling-captain whithersoever