I would have loved my baby so -- and cared for it so tenderly -- and tried to give her every chance for good . And yet I was n't allowed to keep her . '' `` It was God 's will , Anne , '' said Marilla , helpless before the riddle of the universe -- the WHY of undeserved pain . `` And little Joy is better off . '' `` I ca n't believe THAT , '' cried Anne bitterly . Then , seeing that Marilla looked shocked , she added passionately , `` Why should she be born at all -- why should any one be born at all -- if she 's better off dead ? I DO N'T believe it is better for a child to die at birth than to live its life out -- and love and be loved -- and enjoy and suffer -- and do its work -- and develop a character that would give it a personality in eternity . And how do you know it was God 's will ? Perhaps it was just a thwarting of His purpose by the Power of Evil . We ca n't be expected to be resigned to THAT . '' `` Oh , Anne , do n't talk so , '' said Marilla , genuinely alarmed lest Anne were drifting into deep and dangerous waters . `` We ca n't understand -- but we must have faith -- we MUST believe that all is for the best . I know you find it hard to think so , just now . But try to be brave -- for Gilbert 's sake . He 's so worried about you . You are n't getting strong as fast as you should . '' `` Oh , I know I 've been very selfish , '' sighed Anne . `` I love Gilbert more than ever -- and I want to live for his sake . But it seems as if part of me was buried over there in that little harbor graveyard -- and it hurts so much that I 'm afraid of life . '' `` It wo n't hurt so much always , Anne . ''
`` The thought that it may stop hurting sometimes hurts me worse than all else , XXXXX . ''
Anne Gilbert God Marilla chance faith pain riddle sake thwarting