But so far nothing had touched the manse and the Ingleside boys . They seemed to bear charmed lives . Yet the suspense never grew any easier to bear as the weeks and months of war went by . `` It is n't as if it were some sort of fever to which you might conclude they were immune when they had n't taken it for two years , '' sighed Rilla . `` The danger is just as great and just as real as it was the first day they went into the trenches . I know this , and it tortures me every day . And yet I ca n't help hoping that since they 've come this far unhurt they 'll come through . Oh , Miss Oliver , what would it be like not to wake up in the morning feeling afraid of the news the day would bring ? I ca n't picture such a state of things somehow . And two years ago this morning I woke wondering what delightful gift the new day would give me . These are the two years I thought would be filled with fun . '' `` Would you exchange them -- now -- for two years filled with fun ? '' `` No , '' said Rilla slowly . `` I would n't . It 's strange -- is n't it ? -- They have been two terrible years -- and yet I have a queer feeling of thankfulness for them -- as if they had brought me something very precious , with all their pain . I would n't want to go back and be the girl I was two years ago , not even if I could . Not that I think I 've made any wonderful progress -- but I 'm not quite the selfish , frivolous little doll I was then . I suppose I had a soul then , Miss Oliver -- but I did n't know it . I know it now -- and that is worth a great deal -- worth all the suffering of the past two years .
And still '' -- XXXXX gave a little apologetic laugh , `` I do n't want to suffer any more -- not even for the sake of more soul growth .
Ingleside Miss Oliver Rilla day deal morning war weeks years