`` You see , '' said the stick , `` there were as pretty little children once as you could wish to see , and might have been so still if they had been only left to grow up like human beings , and then handed over to me ; but their foolish fathers and mothers , instead of letting them pick flowers , and make dirt-pies , and get birds ' nests , and dance round the gooseberry bush , as little children should , kept them always at lessons , working , working , working , learning week-day lessons all week-days , and Sunday lessons all Sunday , and weekly examinations every Saturday , and monthly examinations every month , and yearly examinations every year , everything seven times over , as if once was not enough , and enough as good as a feast -- till their brains grew big , and their bodies grew small , and they were all changed into turnips , with little but water inside ; and still their foolish parents actually pick the leaves off them as fast as they grow , lest they should have anything green about them . '' `` Ah ! '' said Tom , `` if dear Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby knew of it she would send them a lot of tops , and balls , and marbles , and ninepins , and make them all as jolly as sand-boys . '' `` It would be no use , '' said the stick . `` They ca n't play now , if they tried . Do n't you see how their legs have turned to roots and grown into the ground , by never taking any exercise , but sapping and moping always in the same place ? But here comes the Examiner - of-all-Examiners . So you had better get away , I warn you , or he will examine you and your dog into the bargain , and set him to examine all the other dogs , and you to examine all the other water - babies . There is no escaping out of his hands , for his nose is nine thousand miles long , and can go down chimneys , and through keyholes , upstairs , downstairs , in my lady 's chamber , examining all little boys , and the little boys ' tutors likewise . But when he is thrashed -- so Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid has promised me -- I shall have the thrashing of him : and if I do n't lay it on with a will it 's a pity . '' Tom went off : but rather slowly and surlily ; for he was somewhat minded to face this same Examiner-of-all-Examiners , who came striding among the poor turnips , binding heavy burdens and grievous to be borne , and laying them on little children 's shoulders , like the Scribes and Pharisees of old , and not touching the same with one of his fingers ; for he had plenty of money , and a fine house to live in , and so forth ; which was more than the poor little turnips had . But when he got near , he looked so big and burly and dictatorial , and shouted so loud to Tom , to come and be examined , that Tom ran for his life , and the dog too . And really it was time ; for the poor turnips , in their hurry and fright , crammed themselves so fast to be ready for the Examiner , that they burst and popped by dozens all round him , till the place sounded like Aldershot on a field - day , and Tom thought he should be blown into the air , dog and all . As he went down to the shore he passed the poor turnip 's new tomb . But Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid had taken away the epitaph about talents and precocity and development , and put up one of her own instead which Tom thought much more sensible : - `` Instruction sore long time I bore , And cramming was in vain ; Till heaven did please my woes to ease With water on the brain . '' So Tom jumped into the sea , and swam on his way , singing : - `` Farewell , Tomtoddies all ; I thank my stars That nought I know save those three royal r 's : Reading and riting sure , with rithmetick , Will help a lad of sense through thin and thick . '' Whereby you may see that Tom was no poet : but no more was John Bunyan , though he was as wise a man as you will meet in a month of Sundays . And next he came to Oldwivesfabledom , where the folks were all heathens , and worshipped a howling ape . And there he found a little boy sitting in the middle of the road , and crying bitterly . `` What are you crying for ? ''
said XXXXX .
Bedonebyasyoudid Bunyan Tom day gooseberry keyholes of-all-Examiners rithmetick thrashing woes