Now we can venture to begin our great American drama , ' answered Mrs Jo , full of satisfaction and grand ideas for the famous play -- which , we may add , she did not write that year , owing to various dramatic events in her own family . The Owlsdark Marbles closed the entertainment , and , being something new , proved amusing to this very indulgent audience . The gods and goddesses on Parnassus were displayed in full conclave ; and , thanks to Mrs Amy 's skill in draping and posing , the white wigs and cotton-flannel robes were classically correct and graceful , though sundry modern additions somewhat marred the effect , while adding point to the showman 's learned remarks . Mr Laurie was Professor Owlsdark in cap and gown ; and , after a high-flown introduction , he proceeded to exhibit and explain his marbles . The first figure was a stately Minerva ; but a second glance produced a laugh , for the words ` Women 's Rights ' adorned her shield , a scroll bearing the motto ` Vote early and often ' hung from the beak of the owl perched on her lance , and a tiny pestle and mortar ornamented her helmet . Attention was drawn to the firm mouth , the piercing eye , the awe-inspiring brow , of the strong-minded woman of antiquity , and some scathing remarks made upon the degeneracy of her modern sisters who failed to do their duty . Mercury came next , and was very fine in his airy attitude , though the winged legs quivered as if it was difficult to keep the lively god in his place . His restless nature was dilated upon , his mischievous freaks alluded to , and a very bad character given to the immortal messenger-boy ; which delighted his friends and caused the marble nose of the victim to curl visibly with scorn when derisive applause greeted a particularly hard hit . A charming little Hebe stood next , pouring nectar from a silver teapot into a blue china tea-cup . She also pointed a moral ; for the Professor explained that the nectar of old was the beverage which cheers but does not inebriate , and regretted that the excessive devotion of American women to this classic brew proved so harmful , owing to the great development of brain their culture produced . A touch at modern servants , in contrast to this accomplished table-girl , made the statue 's cheeks glow under the chalk , and brought her a hearty round as the audience recognized Dolly and the smart soubrette . Jove in all his majesty followed , as he and his wife occupied the central pedestals in the half-circle of immortals . A splendid Jupiter , with hair well set up off the fine brow , ambrosial beard , silver thunderbolts in one hand , and a well-worn ferule in the other . A large stuffed eagle from the museum stood at his feet ; and the benign expression of his august countenance showed that he was in a good humour -- as well he might be , for he was paid some handsome compliments upon his wise rule , the peaceful state of his kingdom , and the brood of all-accomplished Pallases that yearly issued from his mighty brain . Cheers greeted this and other pleasant words , and caused the thunderer to bow his thanks ; for ` Jove nods ' , as everyone knows , and flattery wins the heart of gods and men . Mrs Juno , with her peacocks , darning-needle , pen , and cooking-spoon , did not get off so easily ; for the Professor was down on her with all manner of mirth-provoking accusations , criticisms , and insults even . He alluded to her domestic infelicity , her meddlesome disposition , sharp tongue , bad temper , and jealousy , closing , however , with a tribute to her skill in caring for the wounds and settling the quarrels of belligerent heroes , as well as her love for youths in Olympus and on earth . Gales of laughter greeted these hits , varied by hisses from some indignant boys , who would not bear , even in joke , any disrespect to dear Mother Bhaer , who , however , enjoyed it all immensely , as the twinkle in her eye and the irrepressible pucker of her lips betrayed . A jolly Bacchus astride of his cask took Vulcan 's place , and appeared to be very comfortable with a beer-mug in one hand , a champagne bottle in the other , and a garland of grapes on his curly head . He was the text of a short temperance lecture , aimed directly at a row of smart young gentlemen who lined the walls of the auditorium .
George Cole was seen to dodge behind a pillar at one point , XXXXX nudged his neighbour at another , and there was laughter all along the line as the Professor glared at them through his big glasses , and dragged their bacchanalian orgies to the light and held them up to scorn .
Dolly Hebe Pallases Vulcan darning-needle hisses second thunderbolts year yearly