`` Thou sinnest , brother , but it is not for me to rebuke thee , for I also have had my hours of darkness wherein I have murmured against the cross , '' said the old Quaker . He continued , perhaps in the hope of distracting his companion 's thoughts from his own sorrows : `` Even of late was the light obscured within me , when the men of blood had banished me on pain of death and the constables led me onward from village to village toward the wilderness . A strong and cruel hand was wielding the knotted cords ; they sunk deep into the flesh , and thou mightst have tracked every reel and totter of my footsteps by the blood that followed . As we went on -- '' `` Have I not borne all this , and have I murmured ? '' interrupted Pearson , impatiently . `` Nay , friend , but hear me , '' continued the other . `` As we journeyed on night darkened on our path , so that no man could see the rage of the persecutors or the constancy of my endurance , though Heaven forbid that I should glory therein . The lights began to glimmer in the cottage windows , and I could discern the inmates as they gathered in comfort and security , every man with his wife and children by their own evening hearth . At length we came to a tract of fertile land . In the dim light the forest was not visible around it , and , behold , there was a straw-thatched dwelling which bore the very aspect of my home far over the wild ocean -- far in our own England . Then came bitter thoughts upon me -- yea , remembrances that were like death to my soul . The happiness of my early days was painted to me , the disquiet of my manhood , the altered faith of my declining years . I remembered how I had been moved to go forth a wanderer when my daughter , the youngest , the dearest of my flock , lay on her dying-bed , and -- '' `` Couldst thou obey the command at such a moment ? '' exclaimed Pearson , shuddering . `` Yea ! yea ! '' replied the old man , hurriedly . `` I was kneeling by her bedside when the voice spoke loud within me , but immediately I rose and took my staff and gat me gone . Oh that it were permitted me to forget her woeful look when I thus withdrew my arm and left her journeying through the dark valley alone ! for her soul was faint and she had leaned upon my prayers .
Now in that XXXXX of horror I was assailed by the thought that I had been an erring Christian and a cruel parent ; yea , even my daughter with her pale dying features seemed to stand by me and whisper , ` Father , you are deceived ; go home and shelter your gray head . '
Couldst England Pearson Quaker evening hours journeying left night years