I had had a hard day . Dick had been very -- very hard to manage that day . Generally he is quite good-natured and easily controlled , you know , Anne . But some days he is very different . I was so heartsick -- I ran away to the shore as soon as he went to sleep . It was my only refuge . I sat there thinking of how my poor father had ended his life , and wondering if I would n't be driven to it some day . Oh , my heart was full of black thoughts ! And then you came dancing along the cove like a glad , light-hearted child . I -- I hated you more then than I 've ever done since . And yet I craved your friendship . The one feeling swayed me one moment ; the other feeling the next . When I got home that night I cried for shame of what you must think of me . But it 's always been just the same when I came over here . Sometimes I 'd be happy and enjoy my visit . And at other times that hideous feeling would mar it all . There were times when everything about you and your house hurt me . You had so many dear little things I could n't have . Do you know -- it 's ridiculous -- but I had an especial spite at those china dogs of yours . There were times when I wanted to catch up Gog and Magog and bang their pert black noses together !
Oh , you smile , XXXXX -- but it was never funny to me .
Anne Dick Gog day days house night things times visit