ive missed you since youve been gone i must confess i am such a mess and these days just seem so long ive been smoking way too much again now that you are gone and i struggle with porn a little bit more as the loneliness wears on i can lie to myself all day long until i believe the corruption is tried and true but just because i can appease my conscience doesnt mean that my failures dont affect you and i know if you didnt want honesty you wouldnt be with me but now that you know everything am i everything you always wanted me to be cause this city is laid out like a massive machine and up above the clouds i can see everything when i look at her and she looks at me that glow of city streetlights i could have sat inside that coffee shop all day long and watched grandma death walk back and forth from the park to the jack in the box to the park to the jack in the box to the park to the jack in the box to the park to the broken down boarded up shop and laugh well you are bundled up so tight and i can see that look in your eyes as i take your hand and we step outside into that beautiful cloudy seattle sky and wonder where the sun went i want to sit on the step outside your green apartment and try to explain what happens to my heart its like a clean start and i want to dance with the goblins and i want to dance with you and i wanna remember what it was like on the nights that we missed each other again like our love was new like there was emotion in your voice when you told me you loved me and i love you was something that i could feel and youd kiss me like you meant that youd miss me while you were gone and id sing our favorite song id be the voice in your dreams dont stop calling youre the reason i love losing sleep this city is laid out like a massive machine and its synched up so perfectly with all of my circuitry i am not a complicated human being i just want to be loved and i just want you to love me i just want to fall asleep to the sound of you breathing but the static on the phone lines is getting worse and worse this city is full of so many broken dreams and so many beautiful memories 1 465 miles from albuquerque to salt lake to oregon to seattle to vivaces coffee 23 hours and 9 minutes on the interstate and if i start driving now i can make it in a day this citys laid out like a broken machine are you coming home for me im sorry i havent written its been a while since ive dreamed its been a while since ive acted on my hopes for anything and my favorite thing is when i can still taste the nicotine on your lips could you tell me that youre crazy about me and act like you mean it this city breaks me down like a massive machine and if there is no hope for me then forget it ill just leave im hitting the road i miss you so much when talk on the phone but my letters are so sparse i just wanted you to know no matter how far i chase my dreams my dream will always be you and me would you have never loved at all or lost but loved completely well i love you completely 
['slam poetry']