i went to new york and paid lots of money to stay in the silence and not play for anyone i picked up a bar tab and drank myself stupid i flirted with strangers just to feel attractive i stood on a rooftop and looked to the skyline the clouds started rolling in as i start to say goodbye to my grandfather who s at home dying the rain started in and i was left crying i ve got to maintain the madness just so the stillness makes sense to me and i ve got to keep the momentum rolling along so that no one can stop me no one can drag me home and i went to san francisco with my best friend to sing in a bar full of gay men who wanted me but they did not know me though they thought i sang pretty i made love to the microphone so they would not feel so empty inside on this wintry night in this city of madmen and loners and stoners and lovers forgotten in favor of rotten misfortunes with money but i still went home alone i ve got to maintain the madness just so the stillness makes sense to me i ve got to keep the momentum rolling along so that no one can stop me no one can drag me home but now i m here in boston in love with downtown crossing in this very room where some of my favorite songs have been written i m writing this one to sing and remember these days in december where i have surrendered i m not pretending to stay still to stay still and so next week i ll go to iceland then onto london and into the arms of my favorite stranger oh but then onwards cause i can not i will not i will not i can not i can not i will not i will not i can not  i will never stop oh maintaining the madness just so the stillness makes sense to me and i ve got to keep the momentum rolling along so that no one can stop me no one can drag me home