he went into aa joined the gym and started boxing he left his girlfriend and got a room slept on the floor and quit talking his sister asked him why he quit talking he said when he was sober he didn t know nothing nothing at all he was 34 when he turned pro he ran to work and then he d run home he d stay at the gym until they closed still there were those nights when he was all alone he won ten fights up and down the coast he d borrow his sister s car and drive home he fought in modesto and shattered his nose he detached his retina in fresno and then they made him quit he d wake up in the middle of the night his heart racing so fast that he thought he was dying it wouldn t go away it wouldn t go away so he d go running and he d keep running until he couldn t think anymore