it lives in my home it sleeps on my floor every night i hear its nails on my door and kill every bit of hope before it leaves my pores stop coming to my house stop stealing words from my mouth so i bite my tongue to avoid confrontation or offending anyone ill never win i cant win just a hopeless villain i don t know when my demons conquered or when my skeleton softened or when the rest broke free from the closet but i know every damn thing put a nail in my coffin distant slime lost scum all of the above an embarrassment to everyone i love the reaper still hasnt come im so sick of myself so sick of screaming for help im still in fucking hell im still in fucking hell rendered motionless by anxiety a dead man to be trapped by this dead mans dreams cursed with the nervous luck of being me fuck the doctor fuck his pills fuck the self loathing that stems from the guilt fuck my arrogance fuck my carelessness its irrelevant fuck my therapist better off dead let the grievance commence im still second best im still second best fuck