i went to meet her for a friend a beloved friend who knew he couldn t be there and knew someone should be we love each other he and i a brother s love he d say so who else would he send to bring his bride that day and in that moment i understood how he could love her and what they shared would never be for me i understood but yet i ve never really conquered that part inside that wishes it had been me and i was staring at the sun for hours the morning after trying to burn it from my eyes he s never been what i can t help but see when he is with her and so of course i wished them joy else what friend would i be they said she s lovely as the spring imagine my surprise to find that they were right and hadn t said the half the careless sunlight in her eyes and petals in her hair i saw how he could love her the may queen standing there and in that moment i understood how he could love her and what they shared would never be for me i understood but yet i ve never really conquered that part inside that wishes it had been me