did anybody notice over marmalade and eggs in between the princess legs what with wars and floods and beggars not to mention stocks and shares well if you have a moment to spare can you write and reassure me that i have seen that they re constructing a time machine there will be no need for the obituary pages we can have any hero from the bygone ages till the truth emerges an argument rages the major and the minor turn from tallow into tar should we leave them in their place down in damnation s cellar when any form of deity that you might enjoy can be conjured with a test tube and a flame if it s out there then science can explain it or at least remove the blame and if there s anyone you d like to see again then speak up quickly send us back da vinci so we don t have to ponder the maddening smile of la gioconda the critics say nijinsky the dancer of course while the punters would probably prefer the horse you ll find it s quicker than history cheaper than divorce the major and the minor turn from tallow into tar should we leave them in their place down in damnation s cellar bring back liberace or ollie and stan shakespeare will have to wait his turn elvis presley and puccini shall return i suppose we live and learn though it s hard to believe as we cheerfully burn it s curious some will call for justice there are murders to solve what about hitler or at least lee harvey oswald give us this day and everything we squander anyone beautiful somebody blonder they ll never please mankind so lie back and enjoy it stop press they ve just decided to destroy it  the major and the minor turn from tallow into tar should we leave them in their place down in damnation s cellar 