the last ten days have been a motherfucker i didn t know if i d survive the voice with the synapse that calls blood bats into action has now entered the tablelands it s only natural to feel a little imbalanced it s a symptom of your hysterical need to be understood you had to forgive your enemy cause it was making you psychotic to keep fighting him inside of your head but how could you allow these people that you don t even respect to rape your self concept and make your inner world an ugliness thrashed through the forest like a tormented brute i had to make myself a monster just to feel something ugly enough to be true and then scratching wildly at the mirror in my heart to see their doleful faces what is the flaw in just running away running away fixes everything how can i why should i stay just to view the triumph of disintegration to live beneath language or far above it s really not that different at least now that the one thing that is good about me has begun to express itself in malicious ways thrashed through the forest like a tormented brute i had to make myself a monster just to feel something ugly enough to be true and then scratching wildly at the mirror in my heart to see their doleful faces what is the flaw in just running away running away fixes everything how can i why should i stay just to see the triumph of disintegration victories of devastation 