sweet silence will bestow upon me soon alone i sit writing this in my bedroom candles flicker as the wind blows steady with shaky hands my heart weighs heavy run it over in my mind and tell myself that i m ready to upgrade the situation from calm to deadly grab the blade and put it to my neck start to push it in nope not ready yet need another second to deliberate another way to go something way more artistic and a lot more painful sleeping pills no that s wack they can pump your stomach and you ll come right back have you sitting in a group with other suicidalists reminiscing every minute and brush with death s kiss not for me i ma never go back you will see a blast of light as i fade to black now that you know that it s time to go whatcha gonna write in your death note if you tell me how the story unfolds tell me what s to cause your let go you never learned nothing i never learned a thing you never learned nothing i never learned a thing don t look out the window before you jump and pump the shotgun before you shot place the poison inside of that cup and drink up now do us a favor when you end it all make no mistakes and don t make a phone call just write your last words in blood on the wall and we can read it all aloud when the curtain falls can t turn somebody who wants to die into somebody who wants to live a lie and if living a lie is such a bad bad thing why the goody goody s always got a cynical grin why they worried about us and our dark dark ways the preacher got a superbowl ring he getting paid for sure spend it on a hooker and blow and blow his own brains out on the hotel floor  trigger happy i never was too good with aim so i always missed my brain and i can always be fixed again so i will try to begin the end from inside deep inside my mind and i tried crashing into friends with my ride but in the end they all died and i m still alive now i cut and chop every organ that i got and i hung myself twice and it still couldn t stop this beating in my chest going boom boom boom and i m hoping that it s over real soon i did a balloon the size of a basketball full of amphenol fumes it was like perfume as i m writing this letter i m thinking it ll be better if i let em remember the reason i m returning to sender 