jeff good evening achmed achmed good evening infidel jeff so you re a terrorist achmed yes i am a terrorist jeff what kind of terrorist achmed a terrifying terrorist achmed are you scared jeff not really no achmed harrr and now jeff not really no achmed huhharrr how bout now jeff no achmed god dammit oh oh i i mean uh ala dammit achmed silence i kill you jeff so uh achmed achmed no no it s achmed jeff that s what i said achmed no you said ukned it s achmed huchhuch huch huch huch huch silence i kill you jeff how do ya spell it achmed what jeff how do you spell you name achmed oh uh lets see an a c flem silence i kill you jeff so achmed if you re a terrorist i would suppose you have some sort of specialty achmed yesss i am a suicide bomber jeff ahh so you re finished achmed what jeff yo you ve done your job achmed no i haven t jeff but you re dead achmed no i m not i feel fine jeff but you re all bone achmed it s a flesh wound silence i kill you what the hell happened to my feet son of a bitch what the hell oh wait a minute what tha hell what are you doin ok stop it get off what are you doing to me stop touching me i kill you jeff al right just hold on we ll fix this achmed ok wait what are you doing holy crap i m in the air wait wait wait something is backward holy crap i don t know what i m doin i need some ligaments jeff just sit still achmed ok i wil not move my ass walter you idiot you don t have an ass achmed is that walter jeff yea achmed he scares the crap out of me please don t put me back in the sinned suitcase jeff why achmed he has gas achmed sudan s mustard gas is nothing compared to a walter fart walter ah hahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha achmed i it s not funny he will kill us jeff al right listen uh achmed i have something to tell you achmed what jeff you you really are dead achmed are are you sure jeff yes achmed i just got my flu shot jeff you really are dead achmed wait if i am dead gasp that means i get my 72 virgins gasp are you my virgins i hope not jeff why achmed there s a bunch of ugly ass guys out there achmed if this is paradise i ve been screwed jeff well did they say it would only be female virgins achmed holy crap achmed wait i could have a clay aiken ahahahahahha i told a jokech jeff al right so listen achmed so where did you come from achmed your freaking suitcase ahahahahaha i told another one jeff heh look if you ve been in my suitcase all this time how have you been getting through security at the airports achmed oh that s easy they open the case and i go ello i am lindsay lohan haha i i told another jokech i can do this crap to ch achmed ok here s another one 2 jews walk in a bar jeff no no achmed what jeff no achmed what you don t let jews in your bar you racist bastitd jeff what i mean is i don t want racist jokes in my act achmed oh ok how bout if i kill the jews jeff no achmed i m kidding i would not kill the jews no i would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death ahahahhahaha yes yes i did the same thing with 2 catholic priests then i tossed in a small boy ahahahahaha haha yes yes and the winner had to fight michael jackson jeff youughhh achmed ahahahaha jeff achmed achmed what jeff stop doing this achmed what jeff you can t tell jokes like that achmed why not i m killing so to speak jeff well you can t tell jokes like that achmed why jeff it offends people achmed oh i m dead what do i care what do you want me to do knock knock jokesch jeff that would probably be better achmed ok knock knock jeff whose there achmed me i kill you jeff so look as a suicide bomber have you had training achmed of course we had the suicide bomber training camp jeff ah is that a nice facility achmed it used to be jeff what happened achmed new guy the idiot tried to practice jeff and what did you guys learn from that achmed location location location jeff so you guys have any kind of motto achmed like what jeff you know like we are looking for a few good men achmed were looking for some idiots with no future jeff so where do you get your recruits achmed the suicide hotline ahahahha that was dark was it not jeff yea so uh what exactly happened to you achmed hah jeff what happened achmed oh if you must know i am a horrible suicide bomber jeff what happened achmed i had a preimature detonation i set the timer for 30 minutes but it went off in 4 seconds achmed you know what that s like right mr hurrrriiccaanne walter ahahahhahahahaha jeff so achmed what exactly happened to you achmed well i was getting gasoline and i answered my cellphone jeff yea achmed can you hear me now cunk at first i thought it was because i went over my minutes jeff that s too bad achmed it s ok i took that verizon bastard with me jeff so uh what s it like to die do you see a white light achmed if you re dumb enough to watch the explosion yes jeff no i mean when some people die they see a white light what did you see achmed i saw flying car parts jeff what was the last thing that went through you re mind achmed my ass ahahahhaha walter told me to tell that jokech jeff so you never saw a white light achmed no but i saw a blue creais do you really have one of those vehicles jeff yes achmed ahahahhahahah ohh that is not a car that s a lunch box achmed did you know when you re going down the highway in a creais that if you put your hand out the window the vehicle will turn jeff you did all of this for a bunch of virgins achmed are you kidding me i d kill you for a klondik bar jeff so i guess you re muslim achmed i don t think so jeff you re not muslim achmed no jeff why achmed look on my ass it says made in china achmed walter says i m just a stinkin halloween decoration ahahhahaha jeff so do you like being in d c achmed i think some idiots must live there jeff why achmed for example the washington monument jeff yes achmed it looks nothing like the guy it looks more like a tribute to bill clinton ahhahahhaha jeff what do ya think of bush achmed ohhhhhhh i love buhh oh you mean the president i m sorry