i don t feel like me whatever that s supposed to be i ve crossed lines i ve never thought i d cross my only retreat is falling asleep but i lie awake every night of the week and think about how much worse it s become i don t feel like me whoever that s supposed to be i m a different person every time i come home how can i be so lonely when you re in the room right next to me why has it been like this my whole life i need to say it i need more i need the feeling that i had before i got back and started on this whole routine again always upstream always against the grain and nothing will ever change nothing will ever change ever change nothing will ever change1