i m scared of swimming in the sea dark shapes moving under me every fear i swallow makes me small inconsequential things occur alarms are triggered memories stir it s not the way it has to be i m afraid of what i do not know i hate being undermined i m afraid i can be devil man and i m scared to be divine don t mess with me my fuse is short beneath this skin these fragments caught when i allow it to be there s no control over me i have my fears but they do not have me walking through the undergrowth to the house in the woods the deeper i go the darker it gets i peer through the window knock at the door and the monster i was so afraid of lies curled up on the floor is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy i cry until i laugh i m afraid of being mothered with my balls shut in the pen i m afraid of loving women and i m scared of loving men flashbacks coming in every night don t tell me everything s alright when i allow it to be it has no control over me i own my fear so it doesn t own me walking through the undergrowth to the house in the woods the deeper i go the darker it gets i peer through the window knock at the door and the monster i was so afraid of lies curled up on the floor is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy i cry until i laugh