i would build walls for miles around me around anything that hurt any sensitive category kept love at an arm s length it was natural to me you did not agree you said things like unhealthy and i took on the task of changing my pattern all you did was ask and the walls all came crashing at a welcoming speed i was convinced you d never hurt me and i used to cling to the back of your mind but i must have let go at the moment in time when she offered careless physical joy both bouncing my heart around like a cheap rubber toy and after countless hours of crying trying to forgive you believe you grow a spine and leave you grieve you i ve come to this conclusion no one prepares you when choosing to stay how to dare share a bed again keep demons at bay she took something precious that was just meant for me not for her eyes to see and i used to cling to the back of your mind but you must have let go at the moment in time when she offered careless physical joy both bouncing my heart around like a cheap rubber toy and after countless hours of crying trying to forgive you believe you grow a spine and leave you grieve you and after countless hours of crying trying to forgive you believe you grow a spine and leave you grieve you i ve come to this conclusion after all the years you invested in me all the love tears and possibilities i realize that if the tables were turned around you wouldn t leave me now 3