when clara was 12 we rented a shtland pony for her birthday party and she and her friends were leading the pony around and i turned to get the phone and the pony kicked her here she fell it seemed to take forever for her to fall you know in those moments when momentous things happen so slowly i reach like these paintings in the old tradition there s a figure reaching out in them like so and to me it is the most familiar tableau i know so much wanting something so much reaching for it so much wishing just to have one moment back so much being patient so much blind acceptance i know no i don t know a mother here in italy a mother here alone i thought if i had a child i would take such care of her so much reaching for it so much holding breath and keeping fingers crossed watching over my my little lost clara if i could then i would paint it over i would be there and i woldn t turn away if i only had a chance to not turn away and the beauty is and the beauty is the beauty is