i ve always been the guy with the finger in his nose when the passport picture gets taken when the big guys took me out stealin chickens it was me caught holdin the bacon when they re droppin a piano from the forty seventh floor i m the guy underneath lookin up and when the tidal wave strikes a hundred miles at sea i m always at the rail throwin up whee til pow somehow i woulda met you anyhow you fix it up and then holy cow you folks should oughta see me now i was standin in the artsy fartsy uptown restaurant a few frozen dinners ago when i stumbled on a waiter full of crepes suzettes and i ran out the door flambeaux then i ran down to chinatown doused myself with soy sauce and grabbed some moo goo gai pan to go when i got wiped out by a stray bean sprout that was landin on the floor whee til pow somehow i woulda met you anyhow you fix it up and then holy cow you folks should oughta see me now well i finally got so fed up i was off to blow my head off with the gun inside the cash box at the store then i thought i d grab a fistful just in case i weren t successful but instead i got my tie caught in the drawer when you re ridin down the road at a hundred miles an hour and the guy ahead is hitchin someplace honey don t you be surprised i ll be wipin out my eyes if you pass me leavin dust in my face  whee til pow somehow i woulda met you anyhow you fix it up and then holy cow you folks should oughta see me now whee until pow somehow i woulda met you anyhow you fix it up and then holy cow you folks should oughta see me now