i log onto facebook sometimes and it s telling me your gallery s updated but five hundred of your pictures are the same it looks like you re pissed up every day with your mates at club nights and i hate to be uptight but i just find it a shame you re afraid of the sunlight and why do people never quite look like their profile picture they pick for the front why it s funny what the camera does to you that must be why you re stood by someone fatter and uglier so you look better in comparison but it s apparent that you re shallow and that that s what you ve done here nah you look absolutely fabulous so let s have a game of scrabulous mafia wars mafia wars how many times do i have to click ignore i didn t want to play it when you asked me before so what the hell are you still asking me for if only there was an application that let me smash your face in 600 million people like me like this are you taking the piss or is there something i ve missed 600 million people like me like this are you taking the piss attempting a facebook chat s neverending it says this forever sending sending exactly after you ve said something regretful it s essential it gets corrected like i was chatting to my friend and said this let s get together for a bevvy this weekend chris but cos it only sent the first section he gets the impression there s sexual tension now there s an extra dimension to friendship i didn t expect and flipping heck did i mention i hate the rate of your inane status updates i couldn t give a you ve just baked some cupcakes if you wouldn t tell me in the pub to my face why would i want it cluttering my front page some days i m amazed to witness the shitness of other people s daily business and i m sick with these lazy idiots i lost my phone can you post up your digits they say if it exists there s porn of it well now there s also a facebook wall for it if a million people join this group then i ll call my first born boy sue oi you are you coming to my concert well i would but i m on another continent every time i log on there s a berk who s certain he s an entrepeneur sir you don t understand i won t become a fan of your club promoter brand or stones cover band if you re looking for fans you need another plan stop spamming us with your rubbish ads on the other hand if you re watching this click on the link and become a fan of dan  600 million people like me like this are you taking the piss or is there something i ve missed 600 million people like me like this are you taking the piss it must be productively harmful when there s less farmers on farms than on farmville i m milking a cash cow for sheep wanna buy some i m thrilled can you see my excitement these ads are leaving me frightened how can they see i need my teeth whitened now the security s been tightened it s even easier to peek at your private details just provide us your e mail we ll make your penis three times the size and hiding s not an option this is social global is the new local applications invitations poking open relations if it s a complicated situation you won t fix it with switching your status suggesting i add a lad that went to my class i haven t met since reception why dredge up the past we should reconnect we haven t spoke in a while i know that s cause i find you totally vile if we met now we d both run a mile so why s this bloke on my file next time i m asked what s on my mind i might just click in the box and reply 600 million people like me like this are you taking the piss or is there something i ve missed 600 million people like me like this are you taking the piss or is there something i ve missed 600 million people like me like this are you taking the piss 1