mary ramsey morgan fichter to think of my task is chilling to know i was carefully building the mask i was wearing for two years swearing i d tear it off i ve sat in the dark explaining to myself that i m straining too hard for feelings i ought to find easily call myself jezebel i don t believe before i say that the vows we made weigh like a stone in my heart family is family don t let this tear us apart you lie there an innocent baby i feel like the thief who is raiding your home entering and breaking and taking in every room i know your feelings are tender i know inside you the embers still glow but i m a shadow i m only a bed of blackened coal and call myself jezebel wanting to leave i m not saying i m replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you i m just saying we ve mistaken one for thousands of words and for that mistake i ve caused you such pain that i damn that word i ve no more ways to hide that i m a desolate and empty hollow place inside i m not saying i m replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you i m not saying love s a plaything no it s a powerful word inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you oh how i wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife to weave our lives into a blindfold over both our eyes