looking back i never really had a chance alien misguided outcast haunted from the ghost of my past soul is broke but my body intact deep inside i was catatonic traumatised from the childhood violence never really thought about the effect on this life that i m living i m just being honest thinking about it all makes me nauseous so pissed off can t stop this process misery my life s synopsis set me free i cannot stop this i don t really know where to go from here but one thing is crystal clear any chance of a normal life disappeared but the pain gave me this here career so i don t know if i should love you or hate you for making me this way but i just want to thank you for the gift of insane i m thinking about it all i m forsaken made me this way i m your creation i m alienated and everything inside of me that s ever been good has all been stripped away from and never to return and i m trapped here in this isolation like a prison in my body that i can t escape from this devastation on top of my stress so i ll never truly be free and everything inside of me s grey people tryna look at what they can t understand so i just push em away ashamed to admit it i m not capable of feeling the same do you know what it s like to live life locked inside a cage thinking about all of this i don t want to be free  living this life disconnected pretend to make friends but no connection isolation without affection but my two sons are the one exception spitting images of my reflection without the darkness and imperfection the light they shine is my direction their existence is my redemption a second chance to right the wrongs of this life that i led when i m dead and gone maybe i will live on like the of a song that nobody s ever heard feel me just fade away finally embrace this vacant space the endless grave without a trace back to the place from which i came but for now all remains the same no matter what i do and we both know who is to blame and all you put me through 