now i wake up around 4 or 5 eat shower and get dressed in about an hour s time take my vitamins check my messages and call around to some friends make plans for dinner and drinks sometime after 9 oh we re definitely going to call it in early tonight i need to dry out and take some time to clear my mind but before you know it here i am again fucking 2 o clock in the morning standing in a bar with a drink in hand how low can you go before you can t turn around now seriously this is my last and final time well i m making some big big changes in my life no you won t catch me down here again waiting to score sweaty money palmed in my hand what are you cutting this with anyway cause i have got some really big plans and today s the day i m putting them into action but before you know it here i am again fucking 6 o clock in the morning rolled up dollar bill in my hand how low can you go before you can t turn around i m sick of feeling like i m losing my mind sick of doing the same things most nights after night sick of self loathing and self absorbtion self destructive narcissism i m sick to death of being constantly fucking sick of  i don t know who i can trust thought there was us but no there is no one