they d hooked you up to a fentanyl drip to mitigate the pain a little bit i flew in from pennsylvania when i heard the hour was coming fast and i docked in santa barbara tried to brace myself but you can t brace yourself when the time comes you just have to roll with the blast and i m an eighteen wheeler headed down the interstate and my brakes are going to give and i won t know until it s too late tires screaming when i lose control try not to hurt too many people when i roll find the harbor freeway and head south real tired head kind of light i found telegraph road i d only seen the name on envelopes found the parking lot and turned right i felt all the details carving out space in my head tropicana s on the walkway neon red between the pain and the pills trying to hold it at bay stands a traveler going somewhere far away and i am an airplane tumbling wing over wing tried to listen to my instruments they don t say anything people screaming when the engines quit i hope we re all in crash position when we hit and then came to your bedside and as it turns out i m not ready and as though you were speaking through a thick haze you said hello to me we all stood there around you happy to hear you speak the last of something bright burning still burning beyond the cancer and the chemotherapy  and you were a presence full of light upon this earth and i am a witness to your life and to its worth it s three days later when i get the call and there s nobody around to break my fall1