i love this rainy weather it fills up my hollow bones just right i love this rainy weather the dripping sings me to sleep when i can t sleep at night i love this rainy weather it fills up my hollow bones just right i love this rainy weather i wish i could cry the way i see god cry christ the last time i saw you cry was tuesday of last week and i wasn t sure why but the skies just kind of opened up and i sat there beneath it in a puddle of mud next to the memory of my favorite swing set as a kid and wondered if it was my fault that you were sad that day and i wondered what i did jesus the last time i saw you cry was in a dream i had late last night and i held you tight against my bosom and you wept until i was drenched and i said i m so sorry god i ll never do that again but the other day i met a girl who talked about love like she actually believed it was real this child and i we shared brief conversation about a few things that we thought we could feel well i don t mean to shatter your naivet darling but you ve so much yet to see little girl and she shook her head and smiled like i was the one that was the child she said mister open up your eyes and i will show you the world i say people talk a whole lot about having a vice well i ve got three insecurity depression and this growing anxiety she said look i don t mean to cut you off at the seams or one up you or anything but i drank way too much soda pop as a child and now i m addicted to caffeine hehe i mean no no mister i mean you know that s not what i mean i mean at least you maintained your honesty little girl you don t even know what i mean but the blind were born blind so that one day they could see and unless you become as a child unless you become like me you re making excuses for yourself levi you re holding onto reasons to stay angry so what did i used to write about in sixth grade when i sat against that fence and watched the world slip away how me and my imaginary girl sat beneath that weeping willow tree and watched god s teardrops drip from the branches reaching out to me till we were anything but lonely i love this rainy weather it reminds me of being younger back when i didn t worry but i worry more than ever now and my biggest secret is that i don t have any secrets left and i d like at least one to hold onto so that i can still seem sexy and mysterious to you i want to be excited about concerts again i want to beg and scrape for the nickels and dimes and tell my parents that i m gonna be fine and no i m not gonna jump in the pit when everyone knows i m gonna jump in the pit but next to the memory of my favorite swing set as a kid is a ghost of me sitting next to me wondering what he did and as he lets the sand filter through his hands it clumps in the puddle of tears he s sitting in and we whisper in unison god i must ve bummed you out again i love this rainy weather it reminds me of so many beautiful memories and just like you said to me the times that i cry are the times that i feel the most so if i find another secret to hide you will never know i want to feel like i can t maintain control and if i let it all out i m gonna have to bear my soul all i want is a hand to hold onto all i want is for you to heal my dad s back why is that so hard for you to do i hate this rainy weather and aren t there so many questions why are there so many questions get out of my head 