hello everybody my name is james and i m an alcoholic i ve been struggling with this since i was a young teenager and as i grow older it just gets worse feels like alcoholism is the reason i lost everything that i loved in my life for some reason it s the only thing that takes the pain of that away again it s like the only thing that can kill my pain is another drink if you understand how this might make a motherfucker go kinda kinda fucking crazy you know what i m saying don t leave me alone now when i m alone i m not my own self a different person starts to grow inside me i can t walk away he s in my dome now telling me i shouldn t have grown up i should ve died and i m just a waste of space and the only relief is a couple of drinks a shot of the brown burn it right out of me this feeling of pain am i just insane cause that s what my whole family thinks bent over the sink trying to think of a reason to stop that always the pain sometimes the pain is so much i can t even get up i thought i was tough does that mean i m lying about all the other stuff i know that when i was drinking i just didn t gave a motherfuck i was drinking on my fifth had my bitch rolling up a spliff i be on my shit i i be on my shit i was keep the drinks cold now keep that fucking blunt rolled up there s not a force that can hold us cause i m burning way too hot i can t stop i got a problem staying sober chip on my shoulder as i get older i wonder how could i end up broken i cut my heart out and live wide open showing them all that everyday is just more of the pain since i was sixteen young years old and everyday i just chase it away with this bottle and this bitch oh no now i m higher than her driving was probably a mistake so was drinking and snorting them pills you re never supposed to mix wait is that a cop well fuck a cop all of them bitch made i turn the corner and take me another sip mane cause i was  and now i can see my only friend back in the bottom of a bottle again 