i ve been going out with a girl her name is julie but last night she said to me when we were watching telly this is what she said she said listen john i love you but there s this bloke i fancy i don t want to two time you so it s the end for you and me who s this bloke i asked her goooooordon she replied not that puff i said dismayed yes but he s no puff she cried he s more of a man than you ll ever be here we go two three four i was so upset that i cried all the way to the chip shop when i came out there was gordon standing at the bus stop and guess who was with him yeah julie and they were both laughing at me oh she is cruel and heartless to pack me for gordon just cos he s better looking than me just cos he s cool and trendy but i know he s a moron gordon is a moron gordon is a moron gordon is a moron here we go two three four oh she s a slag and he s a creep she s a tart he s very cheap she is a slut he thinks he s tough she is a bitch he is a puff yeah yeah it s not fair yeah yeah it s not fair i m so upset i m so upset i m so upset yeah yeah i ought to smash his face in yeah but he s bigger than me in t he i know i ll get my mate barry to hit him he d flatten him yeah but barry s a mate of gordon s in e oh well i don t care i don t care i don t care cause she s a slag and he s a creep she s a tart he s very cheap she is a slut he thinks he s tough 
['novelty', 'pub rock']