i see my past highlighted by these city lights i take the alleyways grabbing on this battered mic the dark shedded light my peers after mine i m just hoping that they also love the afterlife either that or whatever is creeping after life see i m a man tonight i see these boys looking joyful with their toys while i m grabbing on my samsonite the smell of leather lingers as i watch these calendars slip through my fingers i don t wanna meet my maker just make my meters and keep them burning and every day i have i hope they keep me learning reading these books getting lost feel at home like the search is my cause and the music is my god speaking sermon after sermon i see them all saluting thank me for my service i did it for me but it keeps me going on and you can see what i see know an adolescent out there wanna be what i be there s a price to a young un you most likely don t invite the kind of vices we brung in be it poison of the body or the kind you can t see cause it s creeping up behind and if they don t have footing they can slip right in their mind torn apart by anxiety and ripples of ill see i m seeing it still and i struggle with the deep end drowning in my thoughts but my body s still breathing cause my nephew s still teething and i d like to see him frequent dusting cobwebs on my way to speak to jesus that s who we pray to when our young mind was feening for a reason to the season but the wind is blowing harsh tonight do i even need to tell you that it s raining or can you feel it cause i can feel it  it might as well be the blood of the earth and if it is then it s flooded my entity these rivers got me caught between infinities i feel the cold dirt cover every inch of me open my mouth and these demons are creeping into me my lungs are full of sin it felt better when i had this belly full of gin it felt better when i couldn t wait for life to end we had our moments g we never speak about the time we saw the end of things we had a dryer in our hands and we missed the tub i m thankful every day i thank our family who kept us going every way before the scene they helped me blossom to this fiend i can taste the first sweat on my lips to the time i had the first girl s head in my grip wasn t calling out the father thinking i m a man i m a man little did you know that was never part of the plan you ain t a man till you traveled through these sands in the hourglass so listen close i need to tell you something deep