i sat in the swamp with a little pink piggy who loved roller skating and playing pretend the boy that she loved was a real snackmaster the world was a beach ball and we were all friends then he died alone and the last time i saw her it looked like the reaper had rapped on her door she said do you remember singing ice ice baby with me laying down on the reef bathroom floor how could i ever forget i could never forget i will never forget how could i ever forget i could never forget i will never forget jimmy and johnny just stare at each other while their mother hangs in the holiday inn your funeral on your son s seventh birthday is the worst thing you could ever give him i bet he d like flowers balloons and a card unconditionally yours all my love from your mom much more than wearing that little black suit and saying goodbye forever to you i haven t forgotten the times that i teased you and everyone else pointed at you and laughed permanent damage was not my intention but i could not foresee the aftermath of my actions i was so small wanted to grow in the eyes of my enemies for a while i felt tall but they knocked me back down now i m here on my knees looking at my face in a bed of pine needles and wondering if anyone stills knows my name i turned full circle and another half circle and tried to go back the same way that i came look alive dawson your heels are dragging i never knew anyone could move so slow you may be a hotshot now but you are still a cow a big fat f why don t you just go home  i guess that that means i did not make the team i ll just lay on the ground and look up at the trees the old bedford oak the tall evergreens this is not a joke this is not a dream not sleeping just resting in pieces that i wish were peaches i saw your dad later that day maybe he shot himself could ve been someone else asked me to tell you what he had to say you don t have to end up with people who self destruct go find a lover who will never leave fear of abandonment self hate and discontent will go away when you let yourself grieve and forget about me forget about me forget about me how could i ever forget i could never forget i will never forget how could i ever forget i could never forget i will never forget how could i ever forget i could never forget i will never forget how could i ever forget i could never forget i will never forget1