i m sitting in my room looking at pictures of sixteen i ve gotten pretty good at crying in public without anyone noticing me why am i the one held together while everyone around me can scream i tried to rip out my eyes to give them to those who can t see i wanted to console her i was feeling nothing at all i wanted to be there to hold her i want to put her head through a wall i woke up feeling empty and sad when i realized i was sleeping in his old bed but i ll put in my insides and feel fine i guess but i ll put in my insides and feel fine i guess there are spaces inside me once held by my dead friends i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel i hate how they feel