some say the savior first lived during the 30 years or so between bc and ad 2000 years ago a man of myth and legend stories maybe you ve heard of he was a jewish carpenter and his mother was a virgin his name was the christ and some thought him odd because he preached in the streets and claimed to be the son of god performing miracles did little to win over the romans infuriated by his acts they called him a showman so they tackled him and shackled him and whipped him and beat him and tortured him they did everything just short of believe him they nailed to a cross and left him in the sun to die now here s where the story varies in everybody s eyes that on the day he met his fate or he came back three days later that he shall return again to commence the armageddon and the judgment of men he won t descend from the heavens he ll emerge from the earth with worms in his eyes his blood dry as dirt all bones with little chunks of mummified flesh even the bugs in his bowels will be repulsed by the stench hungry as hell not eaten in two millennium and he ll immediately need to start feeding some he will search for the first church as down come the rains moaning aramaic with a craving for brains half eaten believers scream jesus of nazareth their dead bodies rise back to life like lazarus this horror story ll be in the new bible written by zombies jesus newest disciples satan won t arrive for the end times war and christ will hunt a hundred and be hungry for more no rival no reason to deliver us from evil the undead prince of pieces feeding on his people  and he shall rise rise the son of god will arrive back from the dead and when it happens it ll blacken the skies and he shall rise rise and we ll all be surprised as he walks the earth to the cries of he s alive now wait wait what would jesus do well let me tell you what he ll do he will leave a trail of goo as he prays he preys on you undead messiah with the entire world turning in to zombies like him you ll die for him because he died for you for centuries men of cloth have warned that this day will come and they ve used it to keep people oppressed under their moral thumb they ve controlled and convinced us that our lives are filled with sin well guess what that s who he s coming for those who think they re pure like him he will only go after those who in him have faith so all the non believers around the world will be safe all the muslims and buddhists the satanists the atheists the jews will be safe too but not the jews for jesus and not the hypocrites or pro life sexists who hide in the religious right in the heart of texas most of our government will get it the same and anyone who s committed atrocities in his name he ll crucify klansmen that ll be beautiful then he ll get that fucking prick who pickets gay funerals catholic pedophiles are eaten after he whips em look out cause he ll send you back to hell mel gibson those old and grey on crusades who enforce christian prayer in our schools and commandments in courts all his followers who twist the words that he said are the ones he ll hunt down when he comes back from the dead and he shall rise rise the son of god will arrive back from the dead and when it happens it ll blacken the skies and he shall rise rise and we ll all be surprised as he walks the earth to the cries of he s alive now wait wait what would jesus do well let me tell you what he ll do he will leave a trail of goo as he prays he preys on you undead messiah with the entire world turning in to zombies like him you ll die for him because he died for you christians will all turn to zombies upon his return visit it isn t too much different than it is right now now is it and he shall rise rise the son of god will arrive back from the dead and when it happens it ll blacken the skies and he shall rise rise and we ll all be surprised and he shall rise