i invoke him and he comes to me in my dreams dressed in black he speaks in a language only i can understand his hands are warm his breath is hot he is the horrible pain within my heart my religion my sanctuary my church my sacrifice my profession my exorcism my worship in progress i have no other lover now until forever he is magic and when he kisses me i can taste him on my lips like an elixir far from innocent he is pure evil a sinner s prayer a saint s desire for him i would walk through fire for him i have walked through fire to draw him i want so bad one gift i ll never have he drives a stake into my soul makes me bleed makes me whole drinks me devours me intoxicates me with his love hate devotion faith as beautiful as jesus christ he is as brutal as the depths of hell in my dreams i press my mouth agains his and i feel heaven horror terror he looks at me with that look i call his serial killer look like he wants to fuck me and kill me all at the same time it scares me it turns me on his eyes are brown his stare is intense meaningful powerful maybe that s why he is so fucking scary because he means it sometimes he tells me he loves me as he looks at me with that look sometimes he doesn t have to i ve never felt a man look at me with that look it s almost freaky uncomfortable sexy i guess i know he could never really chop off my hands or could he 