slick nick stole a reindeer from the zoo fell down my chimney with a keg of brew put my dog out in the cold ripped off the candy from my socks smokin cloves and drinkin scotch slick nick you devil you slick nick you devil you dressed in red and overweight boot stole the tv and the stereo and the toys the toys were broken too you devil you slick nick you devil you i saw slick nick fall over the x mas tree he was a whole different man from what mom and dad told me spillin jack daniels all over the drapes spray painting a bad finger over the fireplace tatoos on his arms and knees i never thought santa claus would be such a sleaze but slick nick you devil you cussin and coppin and playin punk rock and every once in a while you d just scratch your jock hey slick nick where are my toys you went drinking with the boys you put mad dog in my sock i wanted candy oh oh i thought you were my buddy and chum but you re just a downtown bum instead of putting presents in front of my eyes you just told me a bunch of lies slick nick you devil you santa claus huh 