tuesday morning 8 15 i was riding to work on the jackson park express seemed like any other day then my whole world changed in a way i never could have guessed cause she walked in took the seat right across the aisle i knew we had a special connection the second i saw her smile she smiled as if to say hello haven t seen you on this bus before i gave her a look that said huh life is funny you never know what s in store by the way your hair is beautiful i bet it smells like raisins she looked at me in a way that asked did you have a nose job or something i m only asking cause your nose looks slightly better than the rest of your face i arched my eyebrow ever so slightly which was my way of asking do you want my old hewlett packard printer it still works kinda and i got a bunch of ink cartridges left then she let out a long sigh which i took to mean uh mama what is that deodorant you re wearing it s intoxicating why don t we drive out to the country sometime and collect deer ticks in a zip lock baggie oh yeah i gave her a penetrating stare which could only mean you are my answer my answer to everything which is why i ll probably do very poorly on the written part of my driver s test  yes it all happened on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express i knew she was starting to fall for me cause she crinkled her nose which unmistakably meant baby lets wear each other s clothes and speak in a thick german accent and maybe someday we can own and operate our own mobile pet grooming service i couldn t hold back my feelings i gave her a look that said i would make any sacrifice for your love goat chicken whatever i could never hold you close enough let s have our bodies surgically grafted together oh surgically grafted together she picked up her newspaper and started reading to herself which i m sure was a way of telling me when you re cold i will warm you when you re shivering i will hold you when you re nauseous i will give you pepto bismol every hour for as long as the symptoms persist oh i i never ever want to see you cry so please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder then i glanced down at her shirt for a second in a way that clearly implied i like your boobs i cleared my throat quietly and then i looked away and i m sure it was obvious to her just what i was trying to say i was trying to say hey i d like to make a wall sized mural out of all the dead skin cells that you slough off while you sleep at night whoa o oh i d like to rip you wide open and french kiss every single one of your internal organs oh i d like to remove all your skin and wear your skin over my own skin but not in a creepy way then i m pretty sure she looked at me out of the corner of her good eye and though she never spoke a word this is exactly what i heard she was saying oh i wanna make out with you in an abandoned toll booth in the middle of a monsoon i wanna ride dolphins with you in the moonlight until the staff at sea world kicks us out i want you inside me oh like a tapeworm i pointed to the side of my mouth as a way of indicating hey i think you got something on the side of your mouth she licked the corner of her lips as if to say here i nodded implying yeah you got it and then the bus stopped at 53rd street and she got up suddenly where are you going pleaded my eyes baby don t you do this to me think of the beautiful children we could have someday we could school them at home raise them up the right way and protect them from the evils of the world like trigonometry and prime numbers oh no baby please don t go she brushed my leg as she left the bus i m sure that was her way of saying i m sorry this just isn t working out you re suffocating me i need some space to find out what life s all about so goodbye forever my love and deep inside i knew she was right it was time for us both to move on and though i never got her number oh no no she never bothered to leave her address oh but as long as i live i ll never forget those precious moments we shared together on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express on the jackson park express