mommy where do babies come from it s pretty simple actually when a man doesnt love a woman very very much he signs away his paternal rights and jizzes in a cup then with lots of money and scientific genius hormones pain and of course um jesus the process begins the way god intended with a transvaginal ultrasound with a wand longer than a ukulele when it comes out of my body it makes this sound i give myself daily intradermal injections an acute blood thinner and estrogen concurrence cryopreservation through hormonal activation and none of its covered by insurance then im knocked out then youre removed and combined with a strangers cum and as the saying goes you win some you lose some and then youre frozen until im certain its time to unthaw you into a person then youll expire or youll make the grade and that my darling thats how babies are made hush little egg baby dont say a word mamas gonna freeze you til she gets rich and when that day finally arrives youll be constructed in a petri dish with sperm donor 8w6 3 the silent partner of our family so hush little egg baby dont be sad just because i never fucked your dad i know there are orphans everywhere but im going to pretend that isnt real dont look at me like that just cause i admit it you had kids and you knew the deal yeah i feel guilty about overpopulation and ruining the environment for forever but osama bin laden had 20 kids so fuck you or whatever sadly procreation is not a meritocracy and we need to prevent a real life idiocracy though it may be the ultimate form of narcissism its also a way to re reverse reverse darwinism i want all the stuff i dont need to make a bucket list it doesnt make me greedy it just makes me a feminist now im thinking back through all the guys ive dated if they heard this song theyd fucking hate it hush little egg baby dont you cry youll have the best genes mommy can buy i dont want to wait til i get in dire straights my friends say if i want kids i should go out on some dates but these working bitches dont have time to leave it to the fates the world deserves more rikis and the world deserves more kates so hush little egg baby dads are overrated he did what mattered when he masturbated hush little egg baby just hold firm mamas gonna buy you designer sperm and if that sperm gives you random traits mamas gonna test your dna and if your dna doesnt make things clear mamas gonna just have to live in fear and if that fear turns into guilt mamas gonna hold on to what we ve built and if i hold too tight as to suffocate ill buy you lots of things to overcompensate and if that overcompensations too transparent ill pretend its somehow better with no male parent and if you say but mom whos my dad ill say i dont know and its just too bad and if that badness forms a hole in your heart ill want to make it up to you but wont know where to start ill probably start by saying its just you and me and theres no such thing as a normal family so fuck being normal lets do this shit mamas gonna freeze you til she gets rich