1993 shortly before thanksgiving i got the call she said jamal derek is not longer living softly she spoke is this a joke man you gotta be kidding as my question was raised this explanation was given a meaningless death made me question the meaning of life does my body remain at rest like when i m sleeping at night will i burn in eternal hell or will i find paradise be rejected or ressurected like the body of christ is it like purgatory the story described by the catholics or nirvana that buddha sought in both theory and practice like i studied in my college philosophy classes or do my molecules and atoms travel back to the gases i mean what i d like to know is where s my spirit go after the curtains close on my final show is there a pain it brings enjoy my favorite things visit ancient kings hear the angels sing who ll answer these said the great mcs my man grym who s battling a debilitating disease he said you see a brother like me is willing to fight and everytime i question death my only answer is life nigga fight one life yeahhh and my god will set me free am i living in this moment am i living righteously it gets haaarrdddd but i know i got to keep on i m trying so hard to be strooonnnggg paralyzed on the bathroom floor by pain last month i endured but now i can t ignore feels like railroad spikes being stuck in my liver am i dying eyes crying body starting to shiver crawl upstairs from the basement calling my sister dawn help me i ain t feeling too healthy stomach walls burning head spinning and turning waiting for the ems 3 10 in the morning rush me to the emergency screaming like a newborn the pain s too strong maybe my soul s trying to move on they hook me to the i v put me through some x rays gave me demerol to kill the pain that was the next phase early the next day in the hospital room moms and pops in the room three or four docs in the room uh test results suggest your colon and your liver is so cancerous you got three months left me and death is playing chess ever since then my strength is the most high my fam and close friends the last emp and set free blessed me with a verse staying healthy comes first look at me things could be worse  one life yeahhh and my god will set me free am i living in this moment am i living righteously it gets haaarrdddd but i know i got to keep on i m trying so hard to be strooonnnggg9