make sure the quarterly reports are packed inside my briefcase kiss the wife kiss the kids head out the rat race waving to my neighbors as i m backing out the driveway this is my routine it s how i always start up my day ipod shuffling my smooth jazz playlist order ready at starbucks because i m on their a list blue skies everywhere not a single cloud and a couple of people getting eaten by a zombie crowd that s right we live in a world of zombie apocalypse playing hero gets you bit so i will not put a stop to this they say that there s a process to stop the zombie nonsense if i m honest i ve never been considered an optimist so i keep my eyes on the path i m takin and avoid the zombie horde so i don t get overtaken if you take one step then drag a foot behind understand i won t be giving you a piece of my mind we walk around so casual and try to act real natural as if we re stuck in a norman rockwell frame but when your friends are plotting although all the skin is rotting it s time to admit that things are looking kind of strange now everyone around me is turning into zombies they re coming at me and i can t explain i want to love them still they just want to eat their fill i d offer them my heart but all they really want is brains met up with barry friday morning at the water cooler he told me fred in accounting got bit and is now a drooler even though he s a jerk i take no enjoyment because now he s out a job and zombies can t collect unemployment but that s why you don t walk alone at night pretty soon you won t do anything but groan and bite it s an epidemic and ineptability s your downfall gotta be prepared or get prepared to be devoured y all they come at you with sheer animal force you better be alert or learn to fear the cannibal corpse people get careless they lower their awareness now the zombie s looking for a meal and found their main course i hate to resort to cowardly tactics but flight before fight i am a pacifist plus i got plans for the night give me an opportunity to bolt and i m gone i gotta get home to watch a george a romero marathon this predicament is indicative of us beating our chest celebrating starving spirits while we re feeding our flesh we re not feeding on flesh but we need to confess whether or not we admit it that we re greedy for death let s get real for a second i really must insist even though zombies are make believe the walking dead exist you can find them everywhere they re really hard to miss they ve been steadily multiplying since the third of genesis 