to open the show i always like to do one thing that is impossible so right now i m going to suck this piano into my lungs there ok let s get started we re having some fun though aren t we kids how many people are here tonight raise them up still four dollars to get in four dollars haha that s not bad though oh you know four dollars in today s word inflation and all that it s like nothing it s like gee i got four dollars i think i ll throw it out into the street oh i can come in here for four dollars okay what happens this is not las vegas in las vegas it s fifteen dollars to get in you know it s worth it because there s a million people on stage and everything s moving real fast and you can t understand a word they say but it doesn t matter and you just sit there and you go wow look at the tits i ll bet there s 57 tits up there but this is four dollars you know rent a car and the opening act in vegas is always like a pop singer you know and they bring him out and he s really good but he moves so fast he s got to he s got like 15 minutes he s got to get it all in they introduce him you know ladies and gentlemen the sands hotel is proud to introduce mr johnny duke let s bring him out hey thank you very much and it s great to be here and certainly united states tuscan wisconsin hey thank you like to introduce the band biff tom jack we got nothing here but a couple of gamblin jokes for you because i gotta be me i gotta be me sammy davis jr personal friend of mine okay now i d like to do a little dancing for you it s impossible to put a cadillac in your nose it s just impossible ok a couple gambling jokes for you ok the hills are alive with the sound of money hey thank you do i look alright you bounce around but anyway as i was saying we re uh we re basically into the intellectual scene up here and that s why we re not into that kind of entertaining huh hey um and it is an intellectual town i enjoy coming here like for example see things are always happening to me up here that are so above everything else like before the show i was standing backstage and a couple came back and asked me if i was bi and well i studied a little spanish in high school but uh not enough to really be bi you know but i didn t want to look stupid so i said yeah i m bi and uh they said well we would like you to come over after the show because we ve got some s m people coming over and i said hey great spaniards and mexicans so it ll be interesting to go there after the show speak a little spanish and have the intellectual thing which is what i m into 