well when you get a haircut you d better go back home when you get a haircut get a barber you have known since you were a little bitty boy sittin in a booster chair cause you might look like larry moe or curly if a stranger cuts your hair well butte montana just a passin through one thing i just had to do had to get a haircut and i was worried for my hair i had a feeling of impending doom the minute i stepped into that room and laid my eyes upon that barber chair oh yeah it was a macho barber shop hair dryers were mounted on a rifle rack wasn t no mirrors the barber chair was a peterbilt barber walked in he was huge seven feet tall three hundred pounds of spring steel and rawhide wearin a hard hat chewin a cigar had a t shirt on said i hate musicians threw me in the chair sneered and said what ll it be pal now a lot of people would be intimidated in a situation like this i was not i am what i am play my piano sing my little songs i looked him right in the eye and i said i m a logger just up in coos bay oregon been toppin trees quite possibly the toughest man in the entire world he said all right he gave me a haircut and i walked out of there my hair was gone made kojak look like bill golden yeah had a tremendous craving to operate heavy equipment now you may think that butte montana haircut s the worst any man could ever get wrong well a few months later i was in l a truckin along on a smoggy day i needed a haircut so bad i looked like bozo the clown i was looking shaggy not too good i d put it off as long as i could and lord i hate to get a haircut out of town well i walked in immediately and realized immediately that this guy was into punk rock the walls were done in black leather had chains and whips and handcuffs hangin on em barber walked in he had orange hair black mascara stainless steel teeth black leather jacket with zinc studs he threw me in the chair hit me a couple times whap whap chained me down threw a nazi flag over me said i m gonna tell you something might make you a little nervous i laughed ha ha ha i said what could possibly make me nervous he said i m gay nooo problem i m not threatened in any way i mean i m secure in my manhood everything is cool i am what i am play my little piano sing my little songs i looked him right in the eye i said i m a logger played football in high school i was in the marine corps he said all right and he gave me a haircut i walked out of there friends my hair was purple well at least that mohawk section down the middle was purple had a white streak down one side other side looked like mr t had a couple safety pins in my cheeks felt a teeny bit conspicuous luckily my next job was in san fransisco shoot i got up there and i didn t even stand out at all wasn t even close those people thought i was an insurance salesman well a few months later i was way down south grits and gravy and a hush your mouth hair so long i m startin to look like a man in drag it was then that the sheriff came up and said boy you got too much hair on your head you better get yourself a haircut or a dog tag well when i stepped into the shop i realized immediately that i was dealing with a born again barber don t see too many barber shops with a steeple had an organ in the corner a choir an usher led me to the barber chair barber walked in started saying grace oh lord for these haircuts we are about to receive may we be truly thankful dominus possum pax probiscus post mortem et tu brute puella carborundum he was sorta half baptist half catholic kind of a cathtist he started cuttin my hair and preachin at the same time i mean he s a wild man scissors and razors a flyin around my head he s talkin about the liquor and wild women and music and sex and the evils of dancing and the music business in general then he looked down at me and he said what do you do for a living now i m not ashamed of what i do for a livin workin bars and casinos around liquor and wild women i just play my piano sing my little songs i looked him right in the eye and i said i run this church for loggers when you get a haircut be sure to go back home when you get a haircut get a barber you have known since you were a little bitty boy sittin in a booster chair or you might look like larry moe or curly if a stranger cuts your hair