experts go home nothing to see not here not forever the 90 s thinking man 2002 dead man in us all in search of volunteers for the death of passion and it put nipples in the sky the womb is all around us the alien racetrack is us afraid to make eye contact is us walking blindly counting credits we ll never see green balloons carry your cars away to plant in egypt to be a plant in the sidewalk of a wheelchair race car driver watery world watery days the water in my brain makes it hard to spot dry land but i will fly again fall again but never on my pen these eyes have seen one too many movies and i fear my parents counterprogramming outlived their own there was no training for the hunt but i put up a tent to daydream in the freedom fighter calls life a nuclear nightmare and if you don t like the tone of my sinking ship pray for me while i cry for you whoever i can t kill my daughter will and at night in complete silence i convince myself i m psychic the universe leads me here as i walk through berkeley and wish i had a cause i know it s bullshit but it s all i can believe in the more time i spend staring at people who never dare to stare i also know it isn t hopeless if im thinking this and avoiding clich is like lying in my living room staring at the ceiling complaining about how ugly that it s getting tim holland on shattuck on a roman holiday self taught master of sleepless hallucination loveless thinking pill make me eat my own vomit learn it to dance for my sister s dog sake my mother s mother and my father s veins sake they all wanna spill my guts into the street and wrestle me in it like i can t digest what i can t swallow for all the loveless pedestrians holding bloodless hands the amusement park lines aren t as good as the in my head lines this is my newest installment in my latest last will and testament series i see people who try too hard to be themselves and wanna throw them lines like no one is themselves cause your remote control dreams are worth more to you than to them you have to believe me i wrote this with a pink pen and my face never goes red when they ask what it means misunderstand me in your perfect pose while plastic seats scream your excellence your petted padded pretty putty ass well trained men learned to worship the lovenessness all aroundnessness shallowness is quite becoming you nessness all the parts of life that are not mind numbing experiences throw your hats off to those of us who can run off cheap batteries and wine we d love to run you off the road and write a book about it if you stood between the day the little pig took the big pigs out to dinner to eat them with barren hands that done wrote ten million words and never got my point across like people afraid to be different wanna make a difference most nights i sleep alone and freezing and have no dreams tonight is different awake and freezing i have no skin left for my parachute this advice isn t for you it s for me in my stomach forever tomorrow they ll forget me cause i never learned to kill for oil but then again i never learned to sit still and probably never will feel the need to hide these beautiful places better to mend until my rich man s death bed i can t write at all in my room cause i had a girl there once and the moral of the story is and the moral of the story is and the moral of the story is 