i know what it says about me that i hate myself less for what i did to you and more for what has become of us naturally i m anxious and unstable knowing i m lost to my best friend though i see you almost every day every day in my cracked kingdom in my terror hive of brutal nostalgia on some self imposed house arrest of the mind that s useless trying to numb the fear the fear that deforms the negatives and makes all memories pathetic so pathetic i have no charm to win you back the anthers drained the feria is over of what sweetness still remains i can t trust myself oh the complex codes the polymorphic addled fhrer of our arrangement i m lost to my best friend though i see you almost every day1