i heard he popped the question i heard that you said yes i hear you re gonna sink 20k into that dress i hear you re signin up for a morning indoor spin to fit into a dress that you ll never wear again what else can i say congratulations ya ll are on the plane now for a week long honeymoon it s an all inclusive stay how creative of the groom well there ain t too much to do at a sandal resort chain read your magazines by the poolside til you gotta come in from the rain what else can i say congratulations congratulations my friend this is how it all ends the next fifty years are gonna be a ball no things did not add up when you signed the prenup but at least you got pictures in the hall what else can i say congratulations  now you ve come back to earth since you got back to town traded in that nglige for a fleece night gown you re off and in the kitchen and in the laundry room just a cookin and a cleanin a domesticated tomb at least you got your spare time and your weeknight tv escape all you want girl it ain t gonna set you free i hear your man is off and gone to vegas with the boys well you call him on the cellphone you can t hear him over the noise what else can i say congratulations well i heard you had enough and you filed for a split it s only been 18 months but you might as well quit i m sorry that it s over i m sorry you re alone but you cannot build yourself a life trying to keep up with the jones what can i say congratulations what else can i say congratulations what else can i say congratulations