pause timing doors sliding what if life been different tongue strike back at the sky to fork lightning the knife slides right in between shoulder blades from older mates who only phone to say they re going out fighting how difficult has life been man that s all relatives like wedding dancefloors when it s last orders you ll find him strangling a pint like he s trying to find life in the very thing that is killing him filling his mind s violence the fires in his iris are evident delicate sediment settles as evidence each morning in the corner of worn eyelids and as that first ever worse bite of sunlight finds him he turns child and tries hiding i saw her walking past me on new cross road with a face i know from mirrors another girl with the same demons to deliver i got that feeling in my liver the magnetism of the apparition she thinks the same but she dresses different imprisoned in time with a glitch in her mind viciously sinking its teeth in her spine run from ourselves but there s nowhere to hide come face to face beneath flickering lights we are the same but with different lives always separate always together once something s begun it is begun forever once something is done it has always been done once something is lost it can never be won run hold gun smoke puff puff until his lungs broke young joke turned hum drum old joke no hope bloke rolling drum between his thumb and his index finger lingering visions of daughter last time he saw her she was a stranger sat waiting well now she s sat at the station i seen her through dirty train windows all agitation wind blows cigarette smoke she looks ready to fight shoulder oppressed by the weight of the  night life flies by like a concrete pigeon liver spotted hands dismissing the wishes of friends who wish him to listen tell him he s pissing his life away like he don t know the chip on his shoulder won t go the sun shines high but he stays low like a broken yo yo but she didn t hear me still i shouted on regardless aware that i was slipping out out of reality s dark harness fourth dimension surfing through the turbulence of turning corners bumping into other me s walking round inches in front of me behind beside and under he wonders how the thunder crumbles numbness crunching numbers corporate lunches how did it ever become the sum of his parts was half his circumference a circle working under a cloud attached to the weak string of his old dreams but now she s haunted by could have been s flash back to the hooded teens kicking her life into gutters and slipping hidden and smothered by all her ambition drinking and hitting but wishes he didn t fingertips gripping the hideous rhythm the city she lives in filled her with suspicion gripping the letters he wishes he d written his mind is a prison night s unforgiving left hand s numb but the right won t listen stifle traditions spite is a given blind lead the blind in the fight for the kingdom fighting for pittance life s ambition grass grows til you clip it dickhead i could ve been anything what i am s written in the dark i embark on a mission i could ve been a lot of things i stopped to think that s when i dropped my drink and i spilt over the floor i was confronted by all that before i didn t see there are different me s for every possibility worse and better me s smaller and bigger me s but every future has a history i could ve been a lot of things forgotten where the rotten sing another grey face on the train day to day playing for the lottery i could ve been a leader carved a path with the things i d written except i mostly hate the words that leave my mouth straight after i spit them me too she could ve been so much more they said that s when they shook their heads they don t know the things that i sacrificed how i d given my life for the raps i write glad with every molecule that i lived the life that i wanted to all i could ever be is me as it s been and it ll always be i could ve been a father raised a life to leave a mark but i couldn t get past my old man s face sat there in the dark i could ve been a saint the outline of a man to stencil but they told me early on i d never realize my potential so now she s kicking her life into gutters and slipping hidden and smothered by all her ambition drinking and hitting but wishes he didn t fingertips gripping the hideous rhythm the city she lives in filled her with suspicion gripping the letters he wishes he d written his mind is a prison night s unforgiving left hand s numb but the right won t listen stifle traditions spite is a given blind lead the blind in the fight for the kingdom fighting for pittance life s ambition grass grows til you clip it dickhead