a fine romance a fine romance my good fellow you take romance i ll take jello you re calmer than the seals in the arctic ocean at least they flap their fins to express emotion a fine romance with no quarells with no insults and all morals i ve never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants i never get the chance this is a fine romance a fine romance with no kisses a fine romance my friends this is to lack half the thrills that a healthy crime has we don t have half the thrills that the march of time has a fine romance with no clinches a fine romance with no flinches you re just as hard to land as the ile de france i haven t got a chance my heart isn t made of plastic you re the reason i m sarcastic cause this is a fine fine romance 