sixteen men on a dead man s chest yo ho ho and a bottle of rum avast there mates ye re sailin with long john black beard peg leg patch eye hook scourge of the bounding main bloodthirstiest black heartiest pirate captain ever sailed the seven seas ha ha ha what say ye we hoist the jolly roger heel over the yonder spanish galleon lay a few broadsides agin her timers swing over on these here lanyards with our cutlasses in our teeth cut em to ribbons and split the booty what say ye to that me hearties heh ha ha ha ha i don t like it you don t like it i don t like it and i don t wanna do it it s tacky tacky tacky and don t look at me that way well if you don t like it what do you want chorus i want to sing and dance i want to sing and dance i want to be a pirate in the pirates of penzance wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants i want to sing and dance you want to sing and dance heh you don t like plundering aye well shiver me timbers ow bout treasuring huh rubies emeralds and pearls gold doubloons and british sovereigns silver chalices encrusted with diamonds and jewels necklaces and bracelets of every shape and size fit for the crown heads of europe aye and all buried in a pirate s chest and i just happen to know where how about that me bloodthirsty buckos heh ha ha ha i don t like it you don t like it i don t like it and i don t want it he don t want it and i won t do it i m an artiste an artiste well mister artiste what do you want chorus i want to sing and dance i want to sing and dance i want to be a pirate in the pirates of penzance wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants i want to sing and dance now listen hear this ain t no floating gilbert and sullivan show you know for some little flittin tinkerbell this here be a black hearted pirate ship and i would have you keel hauled if you weren t me own flesh and blood you little twit so you don t like plunderin aye  i don t like it and you don t want no treasurin ah i don t want it and you probably don t want no groggin and revelin and wrenchin and rummin either i suppose well deep down you want to know the truth it s not me i don t want it well what do you want as if i didn t already bleein know i want to sing and dance and i know i know and wear your tight little shiny pants huh okay we ll all sing and dance i said we ll all sing and dance or you ll walk the plank one two free chorus i want to sing and dance i want to sing and dance i want to be a pirate in the pirates of penzance wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants i want to sing and dance i like it i like it i kinda like it me own self thought you would sixteen men on a dead man s chest yo ho ho and a bottle of rum i don t like rum you don t like rum well no actually well i might like a little perrier a little perrier with a lime in it a lime in it he wants a lime in it well do you have any escargot escar what what s the soup today soup might have a bit of a salad too well how about a bleeding fingerbowl maybe a croissant is that right those french make everything so hard why didn t they just call it a bun 