he tore through the pages and they flew like feathers delicate and white from between the black leather like sick little snowflakes they fluttered and died and he swore and he cried finally spent he fell down on the floor feeling no better then he did before bits of gold leaf and tissue thin pages lay all around him but his rage was still raging in each shaky hand he held a slab of black leather he maniacally smiled as he slapped them together the fire was aglow but dying and weak when he threw the corpse of the book into the flames they peaked so where was i when the levee broke when the husband choked his wife where was i when the priest ruined your son and am i the only one where was i when you raised your eyes and you knew all along you were lying where was i when you cheated and left a woman who loved you crying where was i when you let a baby die and where was i when you let your selfish pride dictate your life and your will and your ways and where am i today im up here all alone im up here on my own im up here all alone im up here on my own and he heard himself squeak in a strange unknown tongue and he thought am i the only one he heard a voice all through the nosie in his head that said son if you believe in me i will believe in you im up here im up here all alone im up here on my own im up here all alone im up here on my own