once upon a time it was in albuquerque new mexico there were these girls that worked at the college the were really cool they thought so anyway the would be delighted to tell you how suave they were at the drop of a hat there was three of em one of them thought she was a beauty queen the other one was a walking blow job and then there was this skinny girl oh well some of the guys in the band got together with the girls from the college they were having a good time we were in albuquerque for a couple of days but these girls thought they were hot shit and wouldn t pooch the guys in the band on the first day so a couple of the guys in the band who were desparate for that kind of action kept working on them for two days which is a waste of fuckin time anyway so anyway but if that s your idea of a good time what the hey send those pants up here here s some more okay good good traditional cotton oh how sweet um huh huh huh huh here work these anyway we re in albuquerque new mexico a couple of the guys in the band who shall go nameless because their girlfriends might find out decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls from the college so one night it was the first night when they were still trying to get it in there ya know what i mean huh huh huh huh the skinny girl she says to one of the guys in the band she says well to several of the guys in the band and one of the t shirt guys too hey let s go skinny dipping at two o clock in the morning at the pool at the hotel that s right your heard right two o clock in the morning pool at the hotel it was so fun but the water was very very cold so they go out there and the girl who was really skinny and probably totally insensitive to climatic changes took all of her garments off and she jumped in the pool and she says hey guys come on in well one of them did the other one was too smart for that shit so him and the t shirt guy say by the edge of the pool and when the girl who was really skinny and insensitive to climatic changes took off her clothes and jumped in the pool she threw her pants over there by the little table well one of the guys in the band picked up her panties he told me later the stuff in the bottom was like punching an eclair anyhow there was nothing else to do it was albuquerque new mexico it s two o clock in the morning they re not going to get any nooky anyway so this one guy and the t shirt guy started sniffing the girl s panties they were sniffing the fudge and sniffing the glue sniffing everything that adhered to these delightful little morsels some of you might think this is weird no wonder it s not exactly normal but what the fuck so they re snorting it hey it s the twentieth century whatever you can do to have a good time let s get on with it so long as it doesn t cause a murder so they re snorting the pants and then they put them on their heads they were having a good time the girl was in the water she didn t even see what was going on with her underpants they were wearing the pants it looked just like a tiny little party hat their ears were sticking out the side it was so fun later on they discovered this would make a great way of life for them they would go from town to town looking for panties they would take the panties after they were hung up on the clothes line later on they would take them back in the dressing room they would play with them they would fetish the underpants they would snort every little morsel attached to the underpants and then they would feel that they were fulfilled and so you can see that what we re doing here on stage is part of a great american tradition the tradition of the jazz discharge party hats