don t pick up hitchhiker joe he ll slit your throat and cut off your big toe i tell you he ll make you smile from ear to ear gonna lock you in a trunk for ninety nine years don t do it now bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom i had a cousin who came from vermont next thing i know that cousin was gone truck driver saw him picking up hitchhiker joe now his spleen s on the sidewalk helping flowers grow don t pick up hitchhiker joe he ll slit your throat and cut off your big toe i tell you he ll make you smile from ear to ear gonna lock you in a trunk for ninety nine years don t do it now bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom my best friend eddie called from l a said we d have dinner later that day i ve got a feeling and it s more than a hunch my poor friend eddie was that hitchhiker s lunch don t pick up hitchhiker joe he ll slit your throat and cut off your big toe i tell you he ll make you smile from ear to ear gonna lock you in a trunk for ninety nine years don t do it now bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom hitchhiker joe ain t no vegetarian if you see him on the highway steer clear of him he got a knife in his sock and a razor up his sleeve and a chainsaw in his pack and he s gonna make you bleed yeah yeah bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom my girfriend lois called from talahassee she picked up that dude at the spam factory that was the last time that i saw her smile my best advice is don t eat spam for a while don t pick up hitchhiker joe he ll slit your throat and cut off your big toe i tell you he ll make you smile from ear to ear gonna lock you in a trunk for ninety nine years don t do it now bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom don t pick up hitchhiker joe he ll slit your throat and cut off your big toe he ll make you smile from ear to ear gonna lock you in a trunk for ninety nine years don t do it now don t pick up hitchhiker joe he ll slit your throat and cut off your big toe he ll make you smile from ear to ear gonna lock you in a trunk for ninety na na na na na na na now do ooh ooh n t pick up hitchhiker he got to cut off your big your big your big he ll make you smile from ear to ear gonna lock you