when i was a sailor who lived on the sea i knew that only a pirate i d be i step in the black mongoose and what what do i see a scurvy knave in the seat saved for me i buy him a drink and ask where he s from then bash his head in with a bottle of rum dazed and confused he attempts to flee but me and the men drag his ass out to sea he s stuck in the bilge locked tight in a cage i burn his hometown in a murderous rage his body now lies in the depths of the bay i return to the bar and to my dismay another sailor sits in my domain so i buy him a drink and start over again when i was a sailor who lived on the sea i knew that only a pirate i d be there once was this time when i drank too much wine and when i woke up i was surrounded by swine and so i did swear i got mud in my hair covered in faeces i stank in the air i went to the bar where i d drank by the stars they erupted in laughter they thought me bizarre they told me that last night i d got in a bar fight killed 15 men and got drunk until light and then when i went i fell over the fence and landed with pigs to each one s content i snuggled them closely and kissed them so slowly they left me to be with them covered in e coli when i was a sailor who lived on the sea i knew that only a pirate i d be 