now ladies and gentlemen we present for your entertainment tonight down in the starlight hotel all the way from new orleans king hokum folks i wanna tell you tonight about the world s greatest liar that s right the greatest that liar ever was will be has been can a been name of this this fella is samuel jacob jackson jeremiah johnson any name that be fittin his present situation yes yes quieten down please quiet down now i m gonna refrain from usin this man s name here tonight to conceal to conceal the fact of his true identity which is unknown to me now samuel was born early one mornin i tell you there was many important folks there to witness his birth who was they well what i ve learned through years of investigation misinformation and inebriation is that that great liar was born to rich but honest parents who both died when he was only 12 years old my heart goes out to him it was a blow he suffered again with their passin uh in the street eleven years later as an orphan samuel was subject to the most savage beatin s at the hands of the very folks into whose homes he was sent for the sole purpose of burglary now while servin in the armed forces samuel jacob jehosophat jellyroll johnson was wounded at the battle of hastings that was back round ten sixty six uh in the mornin after which he was discharged with the high distinction of never havin enlisted the memories of war scarred samuel the rest of his life because he remembered nothing and though he often raised toasts to his fallen bank balances he never taken a drink of liquor the rest of his life that he paid for that s right ladies and gentlemen only the best blues hokum and jungle music down in the starlight hotel every night