well the first thing i want to say is mandate my ass because it seems as though we ve been convinced that 26 of the registered voters not even 26 of the american people but 26 of the registered voters form a mandate or a landslide 21 voted for skippy and 3 4 voted for somebody else who might have been running but oh yeah i remember in this year that we have now declared the year from shogun to ray gun i remember what i said about ray gun meant it acted like an actor hollyweird acted like a liberal acted like general franco when he acted like governor of california then he acted like a republican then he acted like somebody was going to vote for him for president and now we act like 26 of the registered voters is actually a mandate we re all actors in this i suppose what has happened is that in the last 20 years america has changed from a producer to a consumer and all consumers know that when the producer names the tune the consumer has got to dance that s the way it is we used to be a producer very inflexible at that and now we are consumers and finding it difficult to understand natural resources and minerals will change your world the arabs used to be in the 3rd world they have bought the 2nd world and put a firm down payment on the 1st one controlling your resources will control your world this country has been surprised by the way the world looks now they don t know if they want to be matt dillon or bob dylan they don t know if they want to be diplomats or continue the same policy of nuclear nightmare diplomacy john foster dulles ain t nothing but the name of an airport now the idea concerns the fact that this country wants nostalgia they want to go back as far as they can even if it s only as far as last week not to face now or tomorrow but to face backwards and yesterday was the day of our cinema heroes riding to the rescue at the last possible moment the day of the man in the white hat or the man on the white horse or the man who always came to save america at the last moment someone always came to save america at the last moment especially in b movies and when america found itself having a hard time facing the future they looked for people like john wayne but since john wayne was no longer available they settled for ronald the ray gun and it has placed us in a situation that we can only look at like a b movie come with us back to those inglorious days when heroes weren t zeros before fair was square when the cavalry came straight away and all american men were like hemingway to the days of the wondrous b movie the producer underwritten by all the millionaires necessary will be casper the defensive weinberger no more animated choice is available the director will be attila the haig running around frantically declaring himself in control and in charge the ultimate realization of the inmates taking over at the asylum the screenplay will be adapted from the book called voodoo economics by george papa doc bush music by the village people the very military macho man company macho macho man two three four he likes to be well you get the point huuut your left your left your left right left right left right a theme song for saber rallying and selling wars door to door remember we re looking for the closest thing we can find to john wayne cliches abound like kangaroos courtesy of some spaced out marlin perkins a reagan contemporary cliches like itchy trigger finger and tall in the saddle and riding off or on into the sunset cliches like get off of my planet by sundown more so than cliches like he died with his boots on marine tough the man is bogart tough the man is cagney tough the man is hollywood tough the man is cheap steak tough and bonzo s substantial the ultimate in synthetic selling a madison avenue masterpiece a miracle a cotton candy politician presto macho macho macho man put your orders in america and quick as kodak your leaders duplicate with the accent being on the nukes cause all of a sudden we have fallen prey to selective amnesia remembering what we want to remember and forgetting what we choose to forget all of a sudden the man who called for a blood bath on our college campuses is supposed to be dudley god damn do right you go give them liberals hell ronnie that was the mandate to the new captain bligh on the new ship of fools it was doubtlessly based on his chameleon performance of the past as a liberal democrat as the head of the studio actor s guild when other celluloid saviors were cringing in terror from mccarthy ron stood tall it goes all the way back from hollywood to hillbilly from liberal to libelous from bonzo to birch idol born again civil rights women s rights gay rights it s all wrong call in the cavalry to disrupt this perception of freedom gone wild god damn it first one wants freedom then the whole damn world wants freedom nostalgia that s what we want the good ol days when we gave em hell when the buck stopped somewhere and you could still buy something with it to a time when movies was in black and white and so was everything else even if we go back to the campaign trail before six gun ron shot off his face and developed hoof in mouth before the free press went down before full court press and were reluctant to review the menu because they knew the only thing available was crow lon chaney our man of a thousand faces no match for ron doug henning does the make up special effects from grecian formula 16 and crazy glue transportation furnished by the david rockefeller of remote control company their slogan is why wait for 1984 you can panic now and avoid the rush so much for the good news as wall street goes so goes the nation and here s a look at the closing numbers racism s up human rights are down peace is shaky war items are hot the house claims all ties jobs are down money is scarce and common sense is at an all time low with heavy trading movies were looking better than ever and now no one is looking because we re starring in a b movie and we would rather had john wayne we would rather had john wayne you don t need to be in no hurry you ain t never really got to worry and you don t need to check on how you feel just keep repeating that none of this is real and if you re sensing that something s wrong well just remember that it won t be too long before the director cuts the scene yea this ain t really your life ain t really your life ain t really ain t nothing but a movie this ain t really your life ain t really your life ain t really ain t nothing but a movie4