when i get old i will not consider it a compliment when told i look younger than i am neither will i appreciate people half my age calling me young man thats mister or sir to you young lady when i get old i will not care if teenagers think im cool i will not try to use youthful slang and accidentally say something inappropriate when i get old i will say inappropriate things on purpose things ive thought for decades but knew only an old man could get away with when i get old i will not reminisce on the good old days as if i grew up in the golden age of morality as if marvin gaye sung about sexual purity as if woodstock was a billy graham crusade no when i get old i will remember the perversity of today and i will not make young people feel like sinners merely because they were born too late when i get old i will celebrate progress and see technology as my friend when i get old ill amaze the children with stories about airplanes flying into skyscrapers and how i was in washington at the inauguration of americas first black president and how my uncle was supposed to be his running mate but died when he crashed his truck when i get old i will make stuff up when i get old my vision may blur and my memory might fade but i will never forget to sing hallelujah every single day when i get old i will be closer to god not death closer to life not death closer to home not death when i get old i will never wish to trade positions with a younger man i will look back on the current me and be glad that i am no longer him when i get old i will read this poem and see how arrogant i am for supposing i know what ill be like when i get old when i get old ill write a poem about how i thought i was a good poet when i was young but now i actually am when i get old i will be the man possessing the mojo of every age i will be dapper spiffy smooth groovy supa fly too legit fresh to death swagalicious and whatever else the young folks come up with to describe people like me when i get old i will not care if teenagers think im cool cause i will be cool no matter what they say and my grandchildren will shake their heads in shame