people often ask me if i have any words of advice for young people well here are a few simple admonitions for young and old never interfere in a boy and girl fight beware of whores who say they don t want money the hell they don t what they mean is they want more money much more if you re doing business with a religious son of a bitch get it in writing his word isn t worth shit not with the good lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal avoid fuck ups you all know the type anything they have anything to do with no matter how good it sounds turns into a disaster do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill tell them firmly i am not paid to listen to this dribble you are a terminal f u now some of you may encounter the devil s bargain if you get that far any old soul is worth saving at least to a priest but not every soul is worth buying so you can take the offer as a compliment he tries the easy ones first you know like money all the money there is but who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetery money won t buy not much left to spend it on eh gramps getting too old to cut the mustard like three card monte like pea under the shell now you see it now you don t haven t you forgotten something gramps in order to feel something you ve got to be there you have to be eighteen you re not eighteen you are seventy eight old fool sold his soul for a strap on well they always try the easiest ones first how about an honorable bargain you always wanted to be a doctor well now s your chance why don t you become a great healer and benefit humanity what s wrong with that just about everything there are no honorable bargains involving exchange of qualitative merchandise like souls or quantitative merchandise like time and money so piss off satan and don t take me for dumber than i look an old junk pusher told me watch whose money you pick up 