love a cup i would oh god yes oh that is gorgeous yeah i need a cup of the brown stuff the shade of an acorn made warm by the same source that i take my cakes from using a teapot a mug or fine china been hooked up to ivs need constant supplies and a drip for my urges might verge on perverted but for earthy brown tea i m certain it s worth it with sherpas who work herds and use a fresh fountain i ve discerned brews from peruvian mountains i ve slurped up a cuppa from an elephant s trunk with a couple of monks who utterly stunk i ve had bourbons with sultans and creams with queens and i ve bathed in earl grey i m really that keen and missionaries dismiss me for my single epiphany the diff between him and me is a simple sip of british tea so when times are hard and life is rough you can stick the kettle on and find me a cup now when i say earl grey you say yes please earl grey earl grey when i say assam you say lovely assam assam when i say ooh you say aah ooh ooh ooh ooh yes i ll do a number on you i ve been around the world in eighty brews to see the place it takes me to to make a brew that tastes like the cream cakes made by angels do i m not the same as you get shaky but aim to swig amazing fluids but don t make it the same now using fine leaves picked by pretty maidens in a bag knitted by a seamstress who lives in copenhagen brewed up in a pot made of semi precious metal let the blessed contents settle in my very special kettle now when i say oo you say long oo oo when i say herbal you say no thanks herbal herbal hm no no i want i want milk in it strong though i want to see that spoon stand up if you re tired of tea then you re tired of life hah i m madder than a hatter and it fires my mic liken to me to earl grey assam or ginger lapsang souchong raise my pinkie finger keep your sodding coffee in a proper copper coffee pot and spot me lobbing teapots at your poncy rotten coffee shop coffee clots nodding off lost the plot sodding off need some caffeine tannin and a battenberg to top it off cut from off a different cloth a different lot can take their beer on 80 cups a day i haven t slept for 80 years you could say i m mad for tea or or just say i m mad oh you can t stay any longer oh actually i m i m quite glad all the more battenberg for me i can barely pour my hands have gone a bit shaky from caffeine i love it though i d sell me own grandma for a cup well i d sell your grandma for a cup 
['comedy rap', 'comic', 'steampunk']