you re the dude from high school i see at the gym you re a friend of a friend or a second cousin you re a coworker i sometimes eat lunch with you re one of my many acquaintances you know christmas is about spending time with friends and family but just because you re not in one of those two categories doesn t mean that i won t still do something special for you because christmas is about giving so here s what i ll do i m gonna send you a christmas text i m gonna send you a christmas text i m gonna send you a christmas text i m gonna type merry christmas exclamation point and then press send maybe i ll just copy and paste it well it s only two words i might as well just type it if you re thinking of calling me to thank me oh please don t texting is as far as this relationship goes i have way more important people in my life you re not even in the top fifty it s not that i don t care about you well yeah i don t really care about you but doesn t mean that i won t still do something special for you because christmas is about giving so here s what i ll do i m gonna send you a christmas text i m gonna send you a christmas text i m gonna send you a christmas text gonna type merry christmas exclamation point and then press send i don t care enough to call but i don t not care enough to do nothing i don t care enough to call but i don t not care enough to do nothing so i m gonna type merry christmas exclamation point and then press send merry christmas exclamation point and then press send merry christmas exclamation point and then press send merry christmas exclamation point and then press send and to all of my non christian friends i will text you hey dude what s going on we should tots hang next week 