into the retrofit past turn the corner the voice in my head barks its selfless orders and the nylon leash gets just a little shorter and i wonder who the invisible bondsman is over shoulder checking to see if anyone is watching against the bonds of what i cannot do what i cannot and i know that i will remain shut in because the metal door is locked from the inside it s just me and myself against the world it s just a flat out refusal and so my superiority and privilege lies dashed to pieces on the cold stone floor mixed with the horrific runoff from what is no longer my freedom my laziness my violence my freedom my fucked freedom mine that freedom which so many love the freedom i choose to pursue no more and i see just how perverse that freedom is the fists and blood money stay in my hip pockets and i show that my hands aren t inherently violent and i realize how beautiful these chinese handcuffs are these chinese handcuffs these chinese handcuffs these chinese handcuffs these chinese handcuffs and it s just me me me just a control freak me me me just a control freak me me me just a control freak me me me just a control freak