and dear love this is the fifth time that ive written you today or maybe the sixth after three they tend to all start to blend together but regardless of the number the meaning still remains the ink that ive split onto this sheet is stained with the guilt you carried from the first week of knowing you even those first few words that you uttered out of that entrancing mouth of yours i took too far to heart but the realization that they had steadily become rotten was far more withstand able no convincing myself that what i took for real was just a twisted illusion and that your words could be held with some sense of meaning was far easier to withstand you see i just wanted to act like i had a perfect life like we were perfect like nothing else in the world could be anymore perfect but i guess ill never get that and maybe it was my illusion of perfection or how that word was engraved into my brain every time youd look at me with that relentless stare that haunting creeping stare that i so loathed but i didnt loathe it enough to not let it ensnare me though i knew of the branches thorns i let it wrap itself around me drawing blood with every inch that it covered with every limb that it captured and claimed its own i let it creep and crawl its way around me until i had nothing left to call my own which made the cutting of the branches that much harder pieces of me trapped between the thorns tearing apart and leaving the hollow being that i like to call a body cause thats all that was left its like the lights were on and the water was running but i couldnt have been any further gone scarred scraped and just remnants of what i once was left to rot and wither as the branches claimed what they thought rightfully theirs moving on to the next with no less sympathy than the last for months i tried to hate tried to resent tried to forget and i know that youre the last person that i should want to see but its just not that way to me because every time i look at the scars you left covering the undersides of my arms i only see the beauty that once was i only see the times that we enjoyed not the times that we regret the times you left me starstruck and teary eyed and not broken and alone please god i just wish you had poured meaning in the word we call love made it more than a word at least thats how it was to me cause even after ive picked out every last thorn thats dug itself neck deep into my skin i cant toss them into the flames like every photo from when i once knew you because the pain it reminds me i wish id known what you had wanted wanted all along thought you wanted me my heart on my sleeve i had thought wrong i wish id known what you had wanted wanted all along thought you wanted me my heart on my sleeve i had thought wrong i wish id known what you had wanted wanted all along thought you wanted me my heart on my sleeve i had thought wrong i wish id known what you had wanted wanted all along thought you wanted me my heart on my sleeve i had thought wrong i wish id known what you had wanted wanted all along thought you wanted me my heart on my sleeve i had thought wrong i wish id known what you had wanted wanted all along thought you wanted me my heart on my sleeve i had thought wrong i wish i knew