whether you are pro or anti or could not care less we are here to tell you we are here to sell you chess not a chance of you escaping from our wiles we ve locked the doors we ve blocked the aisles we ve a franchise worth exploiting and we will when it comes to merchandising we could kill when you get up when you get up in the morning till your bedtime book you will have to live your life with bishop knight and rook clean your teeth with checkered toothpaste wear our vests our kings and queens on bouncing breasts you could even buy a set and learn to play we don t mind we ll sell you something anyway we ve done all our market research and our findings show that this game of chess will be around a month or so maybe it s a bit confusing for a game but rubik s cubes were much the same in the end the whole world bought one all were gone by which time we merchandisers had moved on by which time we had moved on 