old spice guy look at my fist now back to me now back at my fist now back at me what s in your hand back at me an expensive gift found in the sea now look again it s a deadly piranha now it s veal parmigiana i m on a dolphin where are you you re on the moon with no o2 now look at me i m extremely handsome now you re being held for ransom behind you look a box of kittens at me now back to jason witten close your eyes ok now open now look down your hip is broken i m almost done soon you can talk but if you attack terry crews will block most interesting man ha ha i kill two stones with one bird and feel bad for the stones my raps are so good it d make a less interesting man explode i ll drink your blood and chase it with 151 i challenged myself to a staring contest and on the third day i won i m the closest thing the world has ever come to perfection when i get lost in the hood gangbangers give me directions google searches me dolphins watch me my beard has seen more than you and in rome they do as i do i just show up and bitches follow i don t always give women orgasms but when i do they swallow i ve been a black belt in karate since i was in the womb i ll leave dos equis over your eyes kid go to your tomb i m kicking your ass you re fighting off the urge to say thanks oh and by the way old spice will never smell as good as axe old spice guy old spice smells better than fresh chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven cinnamon rolls that new car smell and blue berry muffins library books play doh wet paint and chlorine those giant felt tip markers and gasoline all mixed together most interesting man i don t always call people liars but old spice smells like your typical run of the mill soap terry crews bah old man you ve been talkin for nearly an hour i ll burn your ass with double sun power what rhymes with explosion another explosion now excuse me i gotta go work on my tits at gold s gym