your floor felt like falling backwards in a steady slipstream the lazy tide is bringing me to shore eighty degree water i see right to the bottom take the pressure off for good don t give me anymore give me the worst sleep spots corners to get stuck in and pump me full of friends and alcohol and i ll be thinking of you long after the night s through long after i m peeled off of the wall and shipped to brooklyn and it might be cause i m not alone but this vacation feels more like home than habitually checking my phone for texts i won t respond to from people i don t talk to in truth december destroyed me january crushed me by february i was not myself march rolled in like beatings and rolled out like a bear hug in april i stared out the window for a fucking month i don t want october i don t want november i don t want to feel those crippling blows that i can t explain to myself my friends or you so i soften them with hours of nintendo and it might be cause i m not alone but this vacation feels more like home than refreshing e mails i won t respond to from people i don t talk to please give me caye caulker my feet in the water someone who doesn t yawn when i go on and i ll be thinking of her long after the summer long after the crowd is bored and talking shit and moved away and everybody s gone  so winter never kills me winter won t kill me so the winter never kills me2