x2 joy peace love and cheer will all be here but i m missing you and this is true it s gon be a different christmas this year i did this with cause i want y all to hear me every verb adjective and noun is spoken clearly i nearly broke down cause i love you dearly but i had to write it cause christmas comes around yearly i m ashamed to admit my definition of love when it came to you it just didn t fit at least not agape love cause i had conditions until you left my vision and went out of my reach now i feel obligated to speak cause i m jaded and weak so as i m taking a peep at your pictures it bugs me out how much i really do miss ya no more family trips no more bug noises no more crazy laughs or dissing your choices i hope by the end of this i ve really been heard cause love is an action and not just a word i remember sharing a room and making tents we had fun as kids man all the games we d invent life was cool then and i was cool with it but responsibility grew and you grew with it you started dating dancing and clubbing i stuck with my sports even tried a little thugging our lives started to split you chose your way i chose mine and that s when it hit i became opinionated trusted christ for my life you couldn t be persuaded thought that you were alright you thought i hated you cause of your lifestyle man i couldn t you re my brother i just didn t know how you were able to do it cause even though you didn t see it trust me moms was going through it thinking your choices were her mistakes we used to pray till our voices hurt but had to wait to see what the lord would do and last year in florida he asked and you said i do then last christmas i was looking forward to seeing you and i did in icu when they called and said that you had caught pneumonia i said it s cool he s tough he s gon get over but this time it wasn t meant to be cause even though you were sick for awhile it always seemed to me like you getting passed we d laugh and chill but you told me this time you saw death for real but you wern t afraid cause you accepted the lord i was still skeptical but the next step i applaud you said you understood that you were a sinner and christ died so at the end of your life you could enter into his presence and when i think of that moment man i m still blown cause that was my present unconditional love the greatest gift ever given so give it while your loved ones around and still living i miss you dog in case i havn t been clear but i gotta keep moving even though you not here the lord will hold moms as i wipe away the tears just know christmas is different this year1