and i ve never known pleasure like this what is this desire this biting eating into another person what is this that can t be contained in you i feel full of holes separate and when i wake up i see red flowers on the bed no one ever asked me how do i desire i don t think anyone ever talked to me using the word desire at all no one ever told me or taught me not to contain it it kept existing but there was no language does anyone have any language for it can we find it 