thais one time in alexandria in wicked alexandria where nights were wild with revelry and life was but a game there lived so the report is an adventuress and courtesan the pride of alexandria and thais was her name nearby in peace and piety avoiding all society there dwelt a band of holy men who d made their refuge there and in the desert s solitude they spurned all earthly folly to devote their lives to holy works to fasting and to prayer now one monk whom i solely mention of this band of holy men was known as athaneal he was famous near and far at fasting bouts and prayer with him none other could compare with him at plain and fancy praying he could do the course in par one day while sleeping heavily from wresting with the devil he had gone to bed exhausted though the sun was shining still he had a vision freudian and though he was annoyed he an alyzed it in the well known style of doctors jung and brill he dreamed of alexandria of wicked alexandria a crowd of men was cheering in a manner rather rude and athaneal glancing there at thais who was dancing there observed her do the shimmy in what artists call the nude said he this dream fantastical disturbs my thoughts monastical some unsuppressed desire i fear has found my monkish cell i blushed up to the hat o me to view that girl s anatomy i ll go to alexandria and save her soul from hell so pausing not to wonder where he d put his winter underwear he quickly packed his evening clothes a toothbrush and a vest to guard against exposure he threw in some woolen hosiery and bidding all the boys adieu he started on his quest  the monk though warned and fortified was deeply shocked and mortified to find on his arrival wild debauchery in sway while some were in a stupor sent by booze of more than two percent the rest were all behaving in a most immoral way said he to thais pardon me although this job is hard on me i ve got to put you straight to what i came out hear to tell what s all this boozin gettin you cut out this pie eyed retinue let s hit the road together kid and save you soul from hell although this bold admonishment caused thais some astonishment she quickly answered say you said a heaping mouthful bo this burg s a frost i m telling you the brand of hooch they re selling you ain t like the stuff you used to get so let s pack up and go so off from alexandria from wicked alexandria across the desert sands they go beneath the burning sun till thais parched and sweltering finds refuge in the sheltering seclusion of a convent in the habit of a nun and now the monk is terrified to find his fears are verified his holy vows of chastity have cracked beneath the strain like one who has a jag on he cries out in grief and agony i d sell my soul to see her do the shimmy once again alas his pleadings amorous though passionate and clamorous have come too late the courtesan has danced her final dance said he now that s a joke on me for that there dame to croak on me i never should have passed her up the time i had a chance note breaks are instrumental breaks as performed by nick krukovsky ballad religion drink filename thaisalx rg