hi glad you called guess what i m doing right now mmmm that s right i m walking along hollywood boulevard all i hear are people around me asking each other who s here who s here but we know there aren t any stars out here you know what i d like right now mmmm that s right chocolate cake with ice cream mmmm palm trees are swaying wildly around us and the sky grows darker and darker people are already on the streets some in terror some in wonderment most confused you and i we watch the funnel clouds hypnotically inch toward the ground and upon touchdown turn into atomic mushroom clouds and explode a few spectators applaud scared shitless we duck into the spanish pavilion but it s remarkably unremarkable there s nothing much to do so we go downstairs where that s right nude and lingerie clad girls are having a pose athon guess what i do that s right i throw caution to the wind and peel off my girdle and take my place on the red vinyl ottoman that stands in the middle of the lobby the walls are covered in full length mirrors you have to admit the scene is pretty sexy then i think to myself is it politically correct to even be here i mean look what happened to dorothy stratten then i decide oh the hell with it i m horny just then jeff the famous balding actor famous for his tattooed rebel roles and loose fitting italian suits walks by he talks to us about that s right all the toys he buried in his backyard so no one else would play with them he says one of his favorites is his nick cave doll i feel pity for the man and hope one day he ll grow hair then i think wow they have nick cave dolls now i waaaant ooone 