good morning america the top story today a white girl has gone missing and that s all we have to say when a damsel s in distress we know you pay attention so we come back every hour just in case we failed to mention a white girl is missing yes a white girl is missing and did we fail to mention that a white girl is missing poor kids are kidnapped every day black women all the time but that s never at the top of our news headline elizabeth smart and laci peterson jonbenet ramsey yes you ve heard of them but missing black girls tell me if you know of tamika huston or latoyia figueroa arbitrary coverage on the news tonight because the media is biased and we all believe the hype i m not saying it s not news when a white girl disappears but the stations makes bank when they re praying on our fears tune in tonight to the white girl show we leave a dark impression like vincet van gogh murder is a tragedy at any cost but if you spin it right you can profit from the lost white girl white girl white girl white girl white girl white girl celebrities the media s obsessed so we re working on a show to get our ratings blessed chris hansen plays the host sweeps week on channel 5 we arm sex offenders with condoms bats and knives take lindsay lohan literally beat her with her gucci bag in a black humvee lock her in a trunk while she screams and shouts that would give her something real she could sing about or maybe kidnap britney throw her down the stairs they won t find forensic evidence in missing underwear use your imagination she s a slave for you two weddings and a funeral all over the news take paris and nicole put them in a studio bring in 30 of their stalkers shut the door and let them go just think about the ratings brought to you by fox now that s some television that i definitely would watch tune in tonight to the white girl show the sponsors are elated as the nielsen ratings grow murder is a tragedy at any cost but let s make it entertaining and profit from the lost white girl white girl white girl white girl turn on the tv and lock your homes if you ve got the missing white girl syndrome everybody wants to be sherlock holmes when we ve got the missing white girl syndrome