now i look back from far away thinking of that pivotal day back when i did not want to heed signs that were just there to read yet i do not know what to say after so long i ve not felt okay but back then i felt like i could do anything that fit my mood it was then when i did not see that all the things you do can be the source of so much loss and pain where you think only of your gain back when there was nothing else too blind to see my cap and bells i caused so much that would come back to haunt me till the end in black i sit and stare into the dark so sad i did not think to hark to what was in the air long ago telling me to mend what i sow the source of so much loss and pain where you think only of your gain i have lost all along the line and now there is just no more time to ponder what might be the cause of what has at last made me pause