schaffer hello schaffer erin hi i m erin schaffer erin it s a pleasure to meet you erin erin oh likewise i m a big big fan and let me just say you we re amazing tonight schaffer aww thank you so much you re far too kind erin oh i mean it i think you re incredible schaffer i truly appreciate that it s been a pleasure meeting you now could you excuse me for just a moment erin of course mr schaffer schaffer thank you now when i came and shook your hand did you get the feeling that you d been introduced to a nice man and did my eye contact and winning smile leave you disarmed were you taken by my charm well it was all bull shit oooh snap my nice guy act is just that an act you sap you re a savvy as a child god i wear a sheep suit tailored for a wild dog as i hawk an aww shucks routine which you ve been buyin the trojan horse bait n switch which behind i hide a vile id driven demon with no remorse or feelins only give a shit about one guy and he is me and i can t stand my friends don t respect my fans i m a devil on another level you can t understand such a cad i oughta rock a fanny pack and a doo rag ooh man i m a total douche bag yeah and all the people go please just say it isn t so you re really so nice right bro no i m a bad man i m a very bad man i m a very very bad bad man and all my people see only what they wanna see trust me you don t wanna trust me cause see i m a bad man i m a very bad man i m a very very bad bad man look you in the eye and i will chuckle while you weep spend the night and i ll slip dollars out your wallet while you sleep i ll take a sex tape maybe one that me and an ex made digitize it get it on the internet the next day call her up and ask her if she wants to get back together whatever she says i ll giggle that her sister was better never keep a secret nor an allegiance and yeah i ll gladly do a dance around a paraplegic children scream in fear when i m near i m guessin maybe it s cause i explain the santa myth to little kids i baby sit i don t believe in god i won t ever go to heaven and i think i might ve even had a hand in 9 11 and i got a lot of hey wait whoa what too soon quit your crying boo hoo you don t like it screw you and you too all of you you fell for a trick you re even worse than me cause you admire me and i m a prick and everybody i ve ever met begins to cry they realize i m not a nice guy and that i m a bad man i m a very bad man i m a very very bad bad man and every friend and fan i ve ever had is very sad they ve all been had by a bad scam damn i m a bad man i m a very bad man duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh badman i ve never paid a compliment i actually meant you know i ve never done a thing without malicious intent cause i m detestable despicable my ways ll make you sick until you can t believe you ever spoke to me i m a miserable back stabber and all of my colleagues are bad rappers diss em to their fans heckle them mad and ask em what s the matter crack an aids joke all of y all ll call appalling i punched an eight year old in the mouth for talking during wall e while i m making great joy i toy with other people s lives cheatin on my marriage with my best friend s wife i relish breaking bad news to rooms of cancer patients explain to babies where they come from with some illustrations one day you ll heed these words and stay away from me but for now your all just fawning fans who buy my cds i m a cheat a thief a user you know this is true or is it cause i m kind of a compulsive liar too and all the people go please just say it isn t so you re really so nice right bro no i m a bad man i m a very bad man i m a very very bad bad man and all my people see only what they wanna see trust me you don t wanna trust me cause see i m a bad man i m a very bad man i m a very very bad bad man erin ah oh kay 