beer same thing now who knew that beer flavored beer would be a special order you had this experience yet huh you re walking around in a neighborhood you don t live in but you ve seen a million times before and you see a brand new bar that looks like an irish bar right you walk in with your friend still looks like an irish bar there s a bartender behind the bar you walk up and go hey how s about a couple of budweisers i can t do that why not well because this isn t really a bar oh well what is it this is a microbrewery oh really asshole well why don t you go in the back and microbrew me up a batch of fucking budweiser then okay because this is america and i am very thirsty pull up your pants microbrewery you can t even order a shot of whiskey anymore without some special little story being attached to it you want a boiler that s a tough word or two gimme a shot of whiskey oh that s not just whiskey okay what is it that s 182 year old oak barrel family recipe sipping whiskey oh really watch this clang gimme another one alright then gimme another and i m gonna sip the whole fucking bottle asshole alright and get two bowls of pretzels out here too shithead special family recipe you know what sip this sip this right here my brother in law comes over last christmas hey man look what i got you for christmas what s that special sam adams beer dispenser man oh really yeah six different flavors you know what put it in the fridge put it in the bottom of the fridge and bury it fucking asshole so months go by of course right then i m watching the hockey playoffs i m eating pretzels and i m thirsty and i m thinking oh man oh the team s tight i go up i open the refrigerator door and i can see a beer out of the corner of my eye i grab it i pull the cap off i ve almost scored and spppppp cranberry ale cranberry nut crunch fucking ale let me tell you something folks cranberries and beer do not go together okay one s for bladder infections one s for getting drunk yes yes i m forty i don t need to be standing in my kitchen tasting cranberries during a hockey game i take a look at the label of my beer you know who s on my beer label santa claus is on my beer label santa i swear to god you know mike ditka can be on my beer label dick butkis cindy crawford they can all be on my beer label not fucking santa okay let s put the easter bunny and the tooth fairy on there too call it pussy ale while you re at it go ahead oh my god pete s brew pete s wicked brew pete s wicked summer brew who the fuck is pete fuck pete pete pete i can t believe i have to get angry about this shit i never though they d change the beer and the coffee who knew i m gonna open my own bar it s gonna be the most retro bar in the history of new york they re gonna serve coffee donuts cigarettes beer and whiskey and that s it that s it that s right i m gonna call it mcleary s we re gonna play the rolling stones twenty four hours a day and you know what if i see just a millimeter of underwear you re out i m gonna have a big metal detector to get all those cock ring guys too right at the front door beep beep beep you got a cock ring uh no you lyin piece of shit get out turn up the stones all stones all the time no house no techno no rave no puff daddy no h r puffinstuff no puff the magic dragon no chemical brothers no chemical sisters no hip trip skip fucking hop no stones twenty four hours a day that s right all we do is we drink we cry we fart and we fight that s it oh i was down at mcleary s the other night it was fucking great i shit my pants and they gave me new pants i beat up my mom she beat me up it was great then we puked it was excellent the stones were there man 