i just want to feel alive and love myself from the in and the outside cause every time that i start to feel whole i knock myself on the ground because it s all that i ve known just like the streets burn a hole through your shoe my soul has been worn out too i m 25 and i still don t fit in directionless like a blind man painting mother i m so sorry i can t go on like this the lifeboats are leaving with or without me what s the point of falling in love if i don t love myself what s the point of being alive if all i want is out so i thought that it only feels right to make the decisions that endanger my life late late at night under black and blue moons i question the reasons that i self abuse i m so pathetic it makes me sick i m a fingerless pianist i see reflections i clench my fists i m a violin without the strings mother i m so sorry i can t go on like this the lifeboats are leaving with or without me what s the point of falling in love if i don t love myself what s the point of being alive if all i want is out there is no love there s only this just lust and lies and selfishness a black hole where the sun once was i m never falling back in love cause it has never been enough ever since i ve been a young boy i was alone now that i ve become a man the feeling s grown through the therapy and through the pills i can t let go but what about the fucking fact i m still alone what do you do when you got nothing left give up give up and hope for the best i fell into the ocean i and i feel sick waiting on a nameless rescue ship what do you do when you got nothing left give up give up and hope for the best i fell into the ocean i and i feel sick waiting on a nameless rescue ship mother i m so sorry i can t go on like this the lifeboats are leaving with or without me what s the point of falling in love if i don t love myself what s the point of being alive if all i want is out