i m sorry i was angry i had a mindset to defend getting upset with you without much cause cause i was jealous of your friends it felt right to leave when i doubted everything and when i did i felt defeat i knew i d lost and i was lost and for the first time i felt like you d lost interest skipping contacts in your phone list passing by my name cause i m not someone that you miss you just had to make me miss you didn t you i just had to fall right back and give myself no time to think before all my emotions get the best of me i m spitting out teeth gritted and worn to the point that i don t know what the point is now now i m full of what ifs give me a second to change the subject to something i know i won t forget because when we talk i can feel discomfort in the vibes that we put off cut the tension with a knife and tell me if you think that it bleeds cause there are parts of me i don t want you to see no i don t want you to this is not the first time i have tried to reason with myself for the cowardly nights i spent wasted awake always thinking of things that i hate that i could ve done different it s me it s always me it s always been me in my head this is what we re supposed to be and i ll accept that this is you if you accept that this is me sleep it off it wasn t love just a crutch make sure the door is shut