let me begin with a hearty ho ho and a tale that nobody tells well i ve not come all the way from en c i n o to be treated like sewage that smells i m certainly not that surprised for this story is older than time me peglegged pirating brethren and i are society s slug ridden slime we ve all been cast out as scallywag rogues with fire in our beards and our eyes there s a side to us pirates that nobody knows and it s soft as a baby s backside some of us just want adventures the open sea wind in our earrings why are we constantly misunderstood don t you know pirates have feelings poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates can t deny this simple truth poor pirates p o o arr people too nice harmonies mateys think of how harrrd we have had it out on ships there is not much to eat and dentists hate pirate insurance which is why we ve so many gold teeth me laundry stays damp and me boots start to stink and me fingernails filthy and dirty me internet loads unbelievably slow and me bedtime s around 7 30 poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates can t deny this simple truth we re poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates have it so much worse than you we ve got pirate parades to which nobody comes captain kidd hosts a marathon but nobody runs long john silver invented the bloomin onion but you think he gets credit for that captain bob hook no one knows his first name and old greenbeard s been driven completely insane hardly anyone celebrates our one holiday arr talk like a pirate day we re poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates can t deny this simple truth can t deny that we re poor poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates p o o arr poor pirates can t deny this simple truth that pirates p o o arr people too yo ho 1