blamed your defeat on your so called disease i was certain youd die staring drunkenly into my eyes and your worth was obscured no one valued your word your last ride in my car cost you a dime behind bars leaving a wife and child to fend for themselves carrying secrets you knew theyd be too scared to tell blamed your arrest on your poor taste in friends but it wasnt their fault you let desperation break your heart and i know it was wrong to never visit or call but as our mother would say i had my own debts to pay on the eve of your release i began trembling as thoughts raced through my mind id heard talk of how youd changed inside so i showered and then loaded my shotgun and sat facing the door to welcome my brother back home1