beautiful and innocent suitable and militant are scripted on the walls of the cubicle i m living in i m different if you take away that i m gone a heart on my sleeve with a razor blade jacket on in babylon i would hold my breath and listen close to the ghosts of death the ocean kept when the winter froze skin and bones is what my burly bag of flesh will hold digesting hope with another thirty pack and lexapro discomposed from all the fuckin ghosts that follow me across a battered path of shattered glass and broken arteries it s oceanography the way the blood accumulates i m rude awake with one eye open like homer s odyssey and honestly i don t need to make a difference i just want to live my life without a fee to pay admission apathetic bliss in these apathetic days cus i m apathetic mixed with the pass aggressive ways anesthetic sprays from my tongue til the pain stops i m trying to figure out if this is blood or the raindrops love or a safe spot think twice while i take another shot until the angels start to sing like i ve got a bone to pick with all these skeletons in closets they re breaking down the barriers embellishing my losses and under all the verses i wonder if it s worth it and whether it s irrelevant the elements are constant no sleep and apparently a pen is the perfect combination for the therapy again so i scribble in a pad til it carries me within all the ripples in my past that i carefully attend when all i got to do is take a look into my pedigree and mentally amenities will make another memory the penalties are lending me a bitter loss of energy a destiny of inhibition until my wings will set me free now no time for regrets keep moving forward and hope for the best its all gone i ll say so long and never let go of what i hold in my chest this is dedicated to the dedication left behind me a dedicated mental patient on a bed of knives i meant to find a certain person worthy of current purpose searching through the epitaphs to make the dead alive and edify as i watch all the faces walking by painted with perplexing looks abrasions and awkward eyes showing me to modify broken wings i ve taught to fly often i go and dream of a place across the sky where i reside and dark breaks the light never stop moving a sharks way of life set still as sparks drape the sky and debt builds a heart pays the price with love pain sun rain hate grace blood stains life death time rest this is my breath i can t find stability i lack the right ability to act inside humility and magnify the will in me every time i try to be satisfy or feel at ease i d rather be an actor and to act than try to deal with things until i fall and i hit the rock bottom and i grieve with the leaves til i pray its not autumn the blood starts to draw and it falls from the wrists when the slits are across and i ball up a fist so call it a gift but i m not living for the present when it all becomes the past and i can t listen to the questions isn t it a blessing when i feel like i m alive and i don t have to be another fucking cynic for a second  i remember somebody once asked me if i ever thought about regret the answers no because when this masquerade is finally over i want to be remembered for who i am not who i was or who i wanted to be cus this right here this is me so follow this even though i ve never called it perfect when i die i want to know it all was worth it i want to know that i tried my best with embracing every moment that i was blessed with every life every death every time that i wept every moment every person every lie that i said every night every day every time every place every kiss every wish every side of the maze every cut every bruise every love that i d lose every time that i broke and the times that i grew every drop of rain that these clouds would spew to help form the man that i amounted to and i m thankful that i am who i am and i ve been where i ve been and i came out grateful when it s finally time to make an exit just know that i don t regret a single second this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything this is the exception to everything