i take life for granted made mistakes in the past dont want to harbour so much hate in my heart found my way through the dark and only by closing my open eyes and taking a chance i wanna make my family proud and show those that i love that i aint standing round i hate backing down hate lashing out hate that i hate so much what is this hate rant about i dont wanna be this negative person pessimistic perfectionist obsessively working always anxiety ridden its like my minds in rhyme asylum inside of a prison its a blessing and a curse i just want us heard and to get the respect that we deserve i need to stop and breathe cos in reality there aint nothing stopping me be what i wanna be dont make me be dont make me be dont make me be dont make me be i mma go it alone on my own rowing this boat no one to throw me a rope feel like i m lost at sea tryna make waves on this endless expanse of monotony and i gotta be what i wanna be or else its like telling my heart not to beat telling my lungs not to breathe inspirations an island just beyond my reach chances are few and far between on an ocean with nowhere to plant my seeds and you reap what you sow its getting dark i keep an eye on my beacon of hope hope in every vein and capillary my message in a bottle is my name on the pages of history i got two ores one named determination and the others name is ability  this me ain t the way that i wanna be now i know its the way that i gotta be i ve had my heart broken before another persons actions controlling my emotions and thought love is a battlefield i m a soldier at war people saying i don t know him no more the old me s dead and gone i got away with murdering him so my split personality holding the fort now i gotta look deep my older said don t regret anything that makes you smile that s how it should be and so i took heed now i live my life a different guy but miss the nights i could sleep thinking isn t it funny i used to be in control but i m driven by women and money in this eternal search for a pot of gold where i ve lost my soul and my hearts gotten cold 