ramblin scramblin tryin to get my mind untangled ain t never seen nothin in the whole wide world that give more trouble than to try n love a girl like most everybody i ve had bad luck you know i ve been down and out and didn t have a buck i ve been hired and fired and loved and mistrusted and three or four women left me busted took my money took my lovin took my toothpaste too chorus first went ramblin a few years ago some fool woman she tried to tell me no i had an ol leather bag it wasn t even mine i had a heart full of sorrow and a tangled up mind she done it she kept squezzing toothpaste in my ear she said i couldn t leave took 3 or 4 steps backwards and gave her a dropkick right in the crotch her eyes lit up and said oh your leaving yeah chorus yeah i headed for new orleans louisiana and all night drinkin and jazz piano that music in the air will set your toes a tappin but those hustlin women sent me a packin lickity split i split met a gal down there said she came from way out west said she could roll a cigarette with just one hand she proved it she rolled me with the other chorus yeah i grabbed my bag i had my hat in my hand took the advice to go west young man i figured now i d finally learned my lesson me and women weren t messin met another un wasn t too good lookin but juggs whew i m not saying she s a big chick or anything but one time i did ask her what size bra she wore she said 6 7 8 i said my god what did you measure it with she said stetson whew chorus yeah well i got to californ i a i figured it was time i headed her my way she was talking about us and having a home and i was talking about us and livin in uncle henry s basement she said what said she didn t understand i proceeded to take 3 or 4 steps backwards and give her a dropkick right in the crotch i said honey i believe in treating women gentle but first you ve got to get their attention chorus yeah the same things have happened over again everytime i meet a woman she tries to pin me in found the only way to handle a woman is to keep your bags packed keep movin steppin lightly eyes forward proud determined masculine probably get horny can t live with em and you can t live without em that s why i write so many of these weird songs i guess chorus