tom brown and i in the local pub were playing dominos one night when all of a sudden in the postman rushed his face all chalky white hey what s up said brown have you seen a ghost have you seen your aunty mariah well me aunt mariah be blown said he the bloody pub s on fire oh there was brown upside down he was moppin up the whisky on the floor booze booze the firemen cried as they came knockin at the door don t let them in til it s all mopped up somebody shouted macintyre and we all got blue blind paralytic drunk when the old dun cow caught fire on fire says brown what a bit of luck everybody follow me down in the cellar where the fire isn t there we will have a gay old spree so we all went down with good old brown the beer we could not miss and we hadn t been but ten minutes there til we were bloody pissed oh there was brown upside down he was moppin up the whisky on the floor booze booze the firemen cried as they came knockin at the door don t let them in til it s all mopped up somebody shouted macintyre and we all got blue blind paralytic drunk when the old dun cow caught fire oh jones did rush to the port wine tub and gave it just a few hard knocks started takin off his pantaloons likewise his shoes and socks hey what s up said brown if you want to wash your feet there s a tub of booze down here don t wash your trousers in the port wine tub when we theres lots of carling lager beer oh there was brown upside down he was moppin up the whisky on the floor booze booze the firemen cried as they came knockin at the door don t let them in til it s all mopped up somebody shouted macintyre and we all got blue blind paralytic drunk when the old dun cow caught fire all of a sudden there s a bloody big bang and half the flamin roof gave away and we were drowned in the firemen s hose but were all still going gay so we got some tacks and some old tin scraps and boarded ourselves inside and we kept on drinking good old scotch til we were bleary eyed oh there was brown upside down he was moppin up the whisky on the floor booze booze the firemen cried as they came knockin at the door don t let them in til it s all mopped up somebody shouted macintyre and we all got blue blind paralytic drunk when the old dun cow caught fire