theres a heartbeat in everything and im holding my hands to the wall the feeling wont come easy but its the fire underneath that i want and i can feel the flames crawling their way up the sides of my throat its not a drink in a glass its a hand on the stove its knowing not to come home so when it swallows me i hope the black cloud billows like the sound of sirens running through the neighborhood so send the ashes of my bedroom to my last known address ill spread the dust of my childhood over the street ive been left with ill leave the urn open to the rain spill it on the page cross out the ink of yesterday if theres a fire left in me pour out my contempt and wash it away if that is all it takes to keep me at bay ill smolder until the embers in my eyes fade and if the fire shrouds this place in grey remind me not to look away theres a match behind my ribcage desperate to catch im pulling smoke from my eyelids but tears are all thats left if theres a spark left on my tongue now ill feed it until its passed if theres air left in my lungs now ill breathe it like my last