hey webby we got some groupies at the door homie ah tell them to go somewhere else im not really trying to do that right now so where do you want me to tell them to go because they have to come here its like ive had some bad experiences okay its really ehh its a long story like bad good experiences no they were just bad alright tell me alright yeah yeah it all started when i met her couldnt help but to sweat her she was bad so i hit her with that hi im chris webster spit a little game had some drinks when i left her she handed me a number and suggested that i text her weeks went by and im scrolling through my holding deck saw the name suzy so i sent her an emoji text kissy face then i got an oh hey you what up yo nothing boo lets get drunk come through get her address and i gpsed it thinking we gon have some drinks and dinner over netflix maybe smoke a joint then later have some sex with her not knowing that shes crazy and obsessive got there she had four cats now i got alarms going off in my brain but she was hot so i ignored them posters of me on her wall now my eyes opened to the fact this bitch is psycho now that shit is really showing i had one drink and my eyes got lower speech started slurring and my mind got slower then i realized i got roofied and i fucking fell over well come here silly pants come sit with me on the sofa fuck this is not good chris hold it together dude now youre mine christian well be together forever boo this is bad this is bad i cant even stand yo then my vision cut to black like the end of the sopranos  i met a girl once her name was suzy little did i know that she already knew me i got her number and i hollered in a few weeks unaware she was a bat shit groupie went to her house tryin to get some coochie had a drink and i started feelin woozy didnt realize i got roofied and i just thought wed get some dinner and a movie woke up the next day handcuffed to her headboard butt ass naked hickies everywhere neck sore dick sore leg sore this is what i get for trustin bitches when i break free oh you gon get yours vision blurry and my memory shitty in a dark basement where the fuck is she probably upstairs with her cats watchin sex and the city i need to break free come on now webby be witty see my pants on the ground and i grab em with my foot kick em up to where my hands are at lets give ourselves a look what do you know i got an adderall up in my left pocket so i popped it dun du dun du dun dont need a locksmith ripped those cuffs off like kong in captivity put my socks on and hear no you cant friggin leave youre all mine crazy ass bitch are you kidding me then she pulled a steak knife out and tried stickin me i ran around her and i sprinted up the fuckin stairs still wearin only my socks not even my underwear shes chasin me and i cant remember where the door is she ran into the kitchen throwin silverware a fork hit my bare dick then i took a spoon to my left nut you wanna play bitch okay well guess what but i had nothin to follow that statement so i started chargin at her full speed butt naked i met a girl once her name was suzy little did i know that she already knew me i got her number and i hollered in a few weeks unaware she was a bat shit groupie went to her house tryin to get some coochie had a drink and i started feelin woozy then i realize i got roofied and i just thought wed get some dinner and a movie i was halfway to her then her cats start attackin me swipin at my penis jumpin on my back scratchin me grabbed one by the tail and i swung it like some nunchucks ron jeremy style beat those pussies the fuck up dont hurt my fucking cats ill kill you i really will yo then i tackled her ass through a glass window we fell down she looked around and grabbed a sharp glass shard and stabbed me in the ribs then she stabbed me in the abs hard then she broke away i started bleedin out then i seen her runnin towards her fuckin neighbors house grabbed a stick up off the lawn and through it hard and ooh she stumbled tripped and fell face down in her neighbors garden caught up to this bitch stepped up in some mud and slipped layin in the grass someone call 911 quick look and seen suzy knocked out in a damn tomato plant neighbors callin cops and reportin a crazy naked man drag myself bleedin right up to the driveway got back in my car and hit top speeds on the highway made it to the hospital bloody nude and exhausted almost didnt make it the doctor just couldnt call it but i did and i never heard from suzy again so now ill never touch another fuckin groupie again never be that fuckin thirsty for the coochie again and meet a chick for dinner and a fuckin movie again you have one unheard message hey its uh suzy i know things got kinda weird between us i havent seen you in a year but uh i miss you im outside your house right now actually see you soon end of message2