it was the blackest night there was no moon in sight you know the stars ain t shinin cause the sky s too tight i heard the scarey wind i seen some ugly trees there was a werewolf honkin long the side of me i m mean n i m bad y know i ain t no sissy got a big titty girly by the name of chrissy talkin about her n my bike n me n this ride up the mountain of mystery mystery i noticed even the crickets were actin weird up here n so i figured i might just drink a little beer i said gimme summa that what yer suckin on but there was no reply cause she was gone where s those titties i like so well n my goddamn beer is what i started to yell then i heard this noise like a crunchin twig n up jumped the devil he s about this big he had a red suit on an a widow s peak an then a pointed tail n like a sulphur reek yes it was him awright i sweared i knowed it was he had some human flesh stuck underneath his claws you know it looked to me like it was titty skin i said you sonofabitch cause i was mad at him well he just got out his floss n started cleanin his fang so i shot him with my shooter said bang bang bang then the sucker just laughed n said terry oh put it away you know i ate her all up now what you gonna say fz you ate my chrissy terry titties n all fz well what about the beer then boy terry ah were the cans this tall fz even her boots terry would i lie to you fz shit you musta been hungry terry yes this is true fz don t they pay you good for the stuff that you do terry well you know i can t complain when the checks come through fz well i want my chrissy n i want my beer so you just barf it back up now devil do you hear terry blow it out your ass motorcycle man i mean i am the devil do you understand just what will you give me for your titties and beer i suppose you noticed this little contract here fz yer goddam right you son of a whore terry don t call me that fz that s about the only reason i learned writin for gimme that paper bet yer ass i will sign because i need a beer n it s titty squeezin time terry man you can t fool me you ain t that bad i mean you shoulda seen some of the souls that i ve had fz oh yeah terry why there was milhous nixon n agnew too n both of those suckers was worse n you fz well let s make a deal if you think that s true i mean you re the devil so whatcha gonna do terry wait a minute a tinge of doubt crosses my mind when you say that you want to make a deal with me fz that s very very true terry wait you ain t supposed to wanna make a deal with me fz ah but i m slightly different than your average customer devil terry but wait but most people don t want to make a deal with me wha fz yeah terry what s your story fz well most people are afraid of you see they don t know how stupid you are i happen to know that you jack off to a picture of punky meadows when you get home terry grrah stupid grrh fz you know ever since that guy told you that he contained more fluid than jeff beck you ve been tryin to outdo him awright look i m gonna say one thing to you this may not register right away but let me say this leave your pickle alone for a couple of nights you know what i mean now come on i m only interested in a couple of things and as i was sayin devil i m an average sort of a person i m you wouldn t believe it but i m very much like the people here in this audience tonight terry what fz i think we definitely have something in common terry wait a minute i thought you had funny things growing in your hair and all that other stuff i thought write weird music you know i thought fz listen terry biker and everything i mean shit you know fz listen carefully terry big tittie chic that you just had out here with the camera i mean you know fz listen carefully to me oh devil terry uh huh fz i m only interested in two things terry yeah fz see if you can guess what they are terry i would think uh let s see maybe uh fz well i ll give you terry stravinsky and uh fz i ll give you two clues terry let s see uh fz let go of your pickle terry what fz let go of your pickle terry i m not holding my pickle fz well who s holding your pickle then terry i don t know ha she s out in the audience hey dale would you like to come up here and hold my pickle to satisfy this weird man out here on the stage fz you re probably wondering why we call it a pickle ray ha ha ha terry oh no fz i don t i hate i hate to squeal on you bozzio i mean devil but look i m only interested in two things terry now wait a minute all i have to say is god help me even though i have this this fucking mask on fz ha ha ha ha ha listen if you think that mask looks bad you oughta see his pickle i m only interested in two things that s titties and beer you know what i mean terry what fz yeah terry titties and beer fz titties and beer titties and beer titties and beer titties and beer titties and beer titties and beer titties and beer titties and beer terry whoa i don t know if you re the right guy fz titties and beer titties and beer titties and beer terry no don t sign it give me time to think i mean fz alright terry hold on a second boy cause that s magic ink and then the devil let go of his pickle n out jumped m girl they heard the titties plop ploppin all around the world she said i got me three beers n a fist fulla downs an i m gonna get ripped so fuck you clowns then she gave us the finger it was rigid n stiff that s when the devil he farted an she went right over the cliff well the devil was mad i took off to my pad i swear i do declare how did she get back there i swear i do declare how did she get back there i swear i do declare how did she get back there i swear i do declare how did she get back there i swear i do declare how did she get back there i swear i do de fz awright awright that that s enough for the devil and his famous pickle we re goin to make another dramatic if if somewhat rickety segue into another song called cruisin for burgers wait a minute