a fine romance with no kisses a fine romance my friend this is we should be like a couple of hot tomatoes but you re as cold as yesterday s mashed potatoes a fine romance you won t nestle a fine romance you won t wrestle i ve never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants i never had the chance this is a fine romance a fine romance my good fellow you take romance i ll take jell o you re calmer than the seals in the arctic ocean at least they flap their fins to express emotion a fine romance with no quarrels with no insults and all the morals you re just as hard to land as the ile de france i never get the chance this is a fine romance a fine romance with no kisses a fine romance my friend this is true love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has we don t have half the thrills that the march of time has a fine romance with no clinches a fine romance with no pinches you never give the orchids i send a glance no you like cactus plants this is a fine romance