i am the tin man for a hundred years he rested here rusted shut and so dormant in a little lost corner where no one strolls in the soul of this horrible forest for a little lass snatched from kansas snatched by tornado came forward poured a little drop of oil on his joints she heard his voice time for performance he did rise and strained open his eyes and lowered his ax to his side it was still raised high to the sky twisted his back till it cracked wiggled his little fingers just a bit with a stretch aimed his gaze at the face of the girl then grabbed that little hick by the neck and said i am the tin man who the hell are you do you know how badly your blood will clash with that shade of blue has no one clued you in that in this land there is none scarier answer me or so help me i will crush that fucking terrier then this drunken clumsy fuck with which she was traveling came to her call tried to get involved but was all falling down unraveling tin man pinned him up to a tree with his free hand fast and explained are you really gonna fuck with me scarecrow do you have no brain both of em were cryin by this time and how he loved it i will go with you to the city but to me your silly little lives mean nothing you can die right here and i fear you will hear no tickin in this chest and i ll bet you never guessed that my ex is the wicked bitch of the west here comes the tin man and he will hack you apart his skin is made of metal and he has no heart he needs oil his body is so cold and so hollow a blood bath down the yellow path that he follows here comes the tin man look in his ball bearing eyes you ll find an empty stare as icy as his iron side hide he s kinda like a robot with no wires inside a heavy metal lumberjack never have a heart attack never gonna die they traveled in silence for fear that violence would find them so frightened they started cryin tried hidin spotted a lion but tinny caught the pussy by the tail and the kitty cat wailed under his power so scared that he pissed tinny rubbed his nose in it and called him a coward you fuckin coward he grabbed the cat by the scruff and he flicked his bic at the stuffin of the scarecrow ergo miss little muffin could utter nothin with a hand on her hips licked his thin metals lips and he thirsted for her and with the handle back of his battle axe hiked up the front of her skirt and said sweet little dorothy oh lord what i have in store for you there is no place like home you ain t in kansas no more don t try nothin funny honey or you ll get killed just like a hundred flyin monkeys and the lollipop guild when they reached emerald city little old bitty scattered in packs cuz they got word for the birds who had heard that the tin man was back that empty phallic palace thick with malice and fear and at the end up a long hall a ten foot tall green head did appear he called himself a the great wizard yeah like hell you are a old man so certain that he heard him tinny pulled back the curtain caught him in his cold hand feelin even meaner he was beatin on a senior evil gives him a buzz if ever a wicked ass wizard there was it isn t this midget it isn t because here comes the tin man and he s the king of the forest stop no second chorus and with his dying breath the wizard took a stab in the dark and he guessed that tinny s chest was empty and he needed a heart he offered him one said he had plenty in stock are you fucking shitting me this is a five dollar clock he crushed it in his fist so pissed so livid with rage and with the same hand harvested the old man s own heart from his ribcage and ate it like a pear right there off his chin wizard blood was drippin then he turned back fast to his captives a fresh corpse was still twitchin and said you should have left me rustin see you never should have trusted me incapable of lovin but there s still a lot of lust in me i rob and rape and use and steal and kill all the rest because i couldn t care less really i couldn t care less cheated on every last girlfriend laughed as their worlds end and told such lies called em all fat told them that i never loved them as i looked in their eyes i guided the blind the wrong way shaved a teens head bald on her prom day crashed birthday parties and told kids their adopted and watched what their moms say once i told a lie to the scarecrow won t let him go if you listen to me well that was a lie too now you re gonna die you miserable three he set fire to the man made of hay thought of more then one way to skin the cat saved the best for last but in his glee didn t see dorothy slip out the back she was off in a balloon she thought to soon she had lost him cuz tinny caught a ride back the kansas grabbing that basket by the bottom she awoke at home he wasn t there and our fair heroine felt so protected but the tin man was there he ran for senate and a landslide was elected here comes the tin man and he will hack you apart his skin is made of metal and he has no heart he needs oil his body is so cold and so hollow blood bath down the yellow path that he follows here comes the tin man look in his ball bearing eyes find an empty stare as icy as his iron side hide he s kinda like a robot with no wires inside a heavy metal lumberjack never have a heart attack never gonna die 