hurry up the birthday boy is on his way this is a surprise celebration i hope you ve remembered everything i ve said i want to see a total transformation what s all this happy birthday darling did you think we d forgotten well i i don t know these people are from the best men s shop in town i had them close it down for the day norma now listen i ll leave you boys to it happy birthday welcome to your shopathon what s going on help yourself it s all been taken care of anyone who s anyone is dressed by me well golly gee pick out anything you d like a pair of you just point i ll do the rest i ve brought nothing but the best you re a very lucky writer come along now get undressed unless i m much mistaken that s a 42 inch chest  i don t understand a word you re saying well all you need to know s the lady s paying it s nice to get your just reward this time of year get outta here and all my merchandise is strictly kosher when you ve thrown away all your old worn out stuff hey that s enough perhaps you d like to model for my brochure i have just the thing for you chalk stripe suits in black salesman 2 or blue glen plaid trousers cashmere sweaters bathing shorts for malibu here s a patent leather lace up it s a virtuoso shoe and a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna you know what you can do with your vicuna come on joe you haven t even started yet you wanna bet i thought by now he d look the height of fashion he always takes forever making up his mind don t be unkind i thought you writers knew about compassion i love flannel on a man this will complement his tan we ll take two of these and four of those i m still your greatest fan very soon now we ll have stopped him looking like an also ran you re going to make me sorry that i m staying well all right i ll choose after all i m paying evening clothes i want to see your most deluxe won t wear a tux of course not dear tuxedos are for waiters what we need are tails a white tie and top hat i can t wear that joe second rate clothes are for second raters norma please shut up i m rich now some platinum blonde bitch i own so many apartments i ve forgotten which is which i don t have to go to premieres i m never on display you seem to forget that i m a writer who cares what you wear when you re a writer i care joe and please don t be so mean to me o k all right you can t come to my new year s eve party in that filling station shirt i ve been invited somewhere else on new year s eve where artie green he s an old friend of mine i can t do without you joe i need you i ve sent out every single invitation all right norma i give in of course you do and when they ve dressed you you ll cause a sensation we equip the chosen few of movieland the latest cut we dress every movie star and crooner from their shiny toecaps to their hatband conceal your gut you won t regret selecting the vicuna if you need a hand to shake if there s a girl you want to make if there s a soul you re out to capture or a heart you want to break if you want the world to love you you ll have to learn to take and gracefully accept the role you re playing you will earn every cent the lady s paying so why not have it all now that didn t hurt did it the lady s paying 