theres a turkey a gobblin out in the yard now hes gutted and stuffed and he s basted and charred and your father is whistling and washing the blood down the drain christmas is pain theres a crowd on the hillside with hatchets and saws and a keen disregard for the forestry laws and they happily hum while the stumps slowly bleed in the rain christmas is pain and the stockings are hung by the chimney with care as if anyone in their right mind would hang em there and some tired old crooner is croaking our carols again christmas is pain and you wait for an hour to see santa claus and hes covered in velveteen bourbon and gauze and he pinches your mother and she cant find the words to explain christmas is pain and the hungry are hungering on hunger street while the people on plenty streeteat and you punctured the roof of your mouth on a sharp candy cane christmas is pain and all the good cheer is just madison ave news and all the best christmas songs were written by jews and the eight tiny reindeer have left an embarrassing stain christmas is pain and two thirds of the world doesnt give half a damn and the rest are all bloated on marshmallowed yams and if jesus was here hed be sent to the back of the train christmas is pain and they double the price of whatever you need saying i pledge allegiance to corporate greed and youre forced to spend several hours conversing with your old aunt lorraine whos insane with a brain on a plane to spain where the rain stays mainly in the flat terrain christmas is pain
['geek rock']