i had a show a few weeks ago it s getting harder and harder to sing and it is hard to focus on my guitar playing when inside a baby is kicking at first i was sad and scared cause this is all i know how to do then john and peter played standing up sometimes something will change and that change will change you then i thought back to six years ago when brian pilkton told me to play he gave me a car a typewriter a guitar before that all i could do was count days then i thought back to before my coma rehab in tacoma my junkie roommates and all that i knew how to do was put cigarettes out on myself i took pills and i drank and i thought back to when i was 15 how i was squeaky clean and i wanted to die i was feeding the homeless while combating loneliness all i could do was keep living a lie then i think back to that 12 year old poet how she didn t know it was what she would be all she could do was hide under her bed scared to death that somebody might read her diary you see i have changed and i ll keep on changing and maybe my song writing will suffer but it s okay if at the end of the day all i can do next is just be a good mother it s okay if at the end of the day all i can do next is be a good mother