i assume you ve met before no we haven t actually hi my name s daniel and who might you be she introduced herself then i he offered her me a drink now we re together s he s the one for me she wants to be a vegan but still eats cheese sandwiches holidays in sweden speaks three languages mandarin chinese norwegian and english good girl most of the time but dabbles in cannabis which has its advantages for imaginative fantasists a bit of an anarchist political activist but isn t a twat with it has an ambition to make cinema act in it in fact she s already written a manuscript she s the whole package gift wrapped in bandages ready to be unravelled now she s found the right man to kiss sometimes we re out and other lads try and chat her up but she always has the perfect comeback to back her up before i saw her i thought that i was lacking luck but my next decision was ditching pessimism pack it up how could i hate a world that made this girl how she looks so if you re asking me my fantasy that s the stuff girl of my dreams she s the one for me girl of my dreams certainly the one for me she s got a soft spot for prog rock often wears odd socks not because she s kooky but just because she s got lots of other things on her mind like what time one stop s open so we can make some late night quorn hot dogs like me see she s got a wonky body clock sometimes it s tomorrow before she nods off with her it s non stop she makes night brighter than the daytime utilises every second on the clock we ve got a lot in common great minds so we often say the same lines at the same time she s the alto counterpoint to my bassline i knew she had soul when i heard it through the grapevine marvin gaye sly stone curtis mayfield bill withers billie holiday dusty springfield she ll spin vinyl and i like the things she plays i m acquiring a taste for the the finer things of late she ll listen to bebop from 1958 coleman coltrane tyner mingus davis i d find them in her playlist that s when i d begin to say this is too good to be true it s like i ve been to vegas the way that i ve hit the jackpot it s nice to think i ve made it light of my life when she s shining it s amazing my spine was tingling ages once my eyes had seen her face because her smile s an invitatition to a better place let us celebrate  with her monogamy is never monotony she s got lots of opinions which she expresses honestly she dresses modestly but knows she s sexy talks filthy but still says every letter properly she s got a monopoly on me hot property but she knows well that a posh hotel is not for me she ll pop an e but never have a pop at me for being drug free because she s seen me when i m ugly acting abominably and she still loves me phenomenally when i go wrong i just follow her lead come along with me she says because i wanna sleep together so we throw our overcoats on and leave for heaven she s into literature in particular de bernires firmly aware that living s all about the journey there she isn t into girly affairs like perming her hair but it s sweet she still sleeps with her first teddy bear and when it s early she wears no make up and has puffy eyes but i find it a great look because she s mine she looks fine with her hair tied up or even better down i swear that no one looks better in a dressing gown she s so giggly that her nose goes wrinkly simply because i ve been up to bring her a drink you see i m into coffee she likes a hot cup of tea that s one of the few topics on which we do not agree she watches old films ticks ones off she hasn t seen her guilty pleasure s reading gossip magazines now i often have a real problem with what i can believe but seeing her there s not a chance i m dreaming she s certainly the one for me man i really adore her so i m perching on my knee and i m kneeling before her six months salary on the ring that i ve bought her i ask her will you marry me and she says dan of alarm clock going off errr no for pete s sake i had the girl of my dreams and wasn t even awake