this will forever be an apology cause i know somehow it will set me free i can t hold onto the self abuse it s not your fault i missed my chance to bloom everything fades away we ll all meet the same fate even if you grow old or die alone what difference will it make i m obsolete so easy to replace i won t deserve a chance at happiness living this way just another line about the better days finding peace in what you had i tell myself one day i ll reminisce and say things really weren t so bad but i still can t seem to let go so i m the only one to blame for my bleak view on life left all alone in the mundane but i know you know what it feels like kid you once loved so much but hate yourself for what you did so i ll cry for help to find myself in everyone else that s not the person you thought you d be everything fades away we ll all meet the same fate even if you grow old or die alone what difference will it make i m obsolete so easy to replace i won t deserve a chance at happiness living this way it s constant heartache to face the world time after time when you only have so much of it i feel my life just slip by is this all even real is there something more to this all those moments we ll miss when we re knocked back into the abyss would someone just give me a purpose to have cause my past can t be the best thing that ever happened to me this sadness just won t stop defining me i lost my chance to leave to a promised land to feel whole again excerpt from bill nye i think about mortality continually i won t say constantly but everyday and so watching ourselves die is to me overwhelming evidence that there is no life after death and the troubling troubling consequence of this is you don t have to be perfect you just have to be good enough well there s nothing left to see but an empty worthless shell of a man and that s nothing to be proud of i ll never know who i am and with all those late night thoughts knowing in the back of my head i ll never see you again and you know the older that i get the more surprised i ll be i haven t ended it all yet