if you had a machine that can make you into anything you wanted to be like anything what would you be hmm let s see i wanna be the queen no i wanna be nineteen wait no i wanna be that horrible thing i saw last night in my dream i know i wanna be a supermodel she s european a lean sex fiend oh thank god i can finally fit in those dumb jeans poof then it was me i was her i waited for something fabulous to occur something marvellous and absurd i waited there was nothing but i was something gorgeous crazy wealth and i could always reach the top of the supermarket shelf all of a sudden i was no longer the model or myself i must have thought about being the stupid box of cereal up on that stupid shelf boring wondered whether i would wait forever i guess i was a brand that wasn t adequately advertised on tv ever but it got better apparently a parent and a child threw me in a cart it was hard i was smothered covered by a world of pop tarts and a part of the newspaper that scared me i think it was the pop charts and i wish i was a cereal that that wasn t so smart do you wanna step inside my machine we all got home and they put me right in the fridge damn why don t they keep their cereal out so i could at least see where they lived but i could hear them and it seemed like they were happy when the kid wasn t napping she was always laughing i felt jumpy my bran was crackling i was grabbed along with the milk and put in a bowl it was dark a black hole must have been the kid s mouth i don t know and in i went down the throat passed the tongue by her heart by her lungs and i could see that she might be dying young so i tried to patch it up with an old piece of gum that was there but the damage was done disease had won it wasn t fair but i wasn t gonna be the one that lost her i wasn t a doctor and i wasn t a name on the list of somebody s roster why bother and by that time i was already at the other end in the toilet with milk you know my old friend from the fridge from way back when and then we got sucked down into the pipes what a crappy life machine that s really not right do you wanna step inside my machine i can t stand it i said machine why are we here and it paused and said to play video games and drink beer that s weird you re subversive i thought we had a deeper purpose underneath the surface why do so many of us feel worthless the machine said don t ask me ask your magazines people in teen and loads of shit people don t need i started to bleed and said just make me into a bandaid the size of a giant pancake wrap me round the whole world to heal the heartache and if anyone s hungry well they could just eat me or i ll be a peace treaty and no one could ever defeat me it said chill out girl you remember being up on the shelf i seem to remember you kinda just wanted to be yourself no i wanted someone to pick me to love me to be the greatest brand i don t understand i was just tryna comprehend man oh you wanted the grand scheme the big plan the answer well here it is ah and then it turned off and that was it because you see the machine never really did exist would you wanna step the machine would you be a doctor would you be a rocker would you be a parka keeping someone warm in a lock up would you be a marker that signed the constitution would you start a revolution or just play some pro soccer how about a stalker if you were a father would you be good at all or would you even bother be a beautiful girl or someone that could call her would you be a good talker a stealth bomber what about osama just to see what it feels like cause we all love to live in drama be a big movie star fancy ass houses and a big car doing lots of drugs fucking up and break laws be a fat man plumber s butt hangin out the drawers would you fight for a cause chew on people like jaws instigate wars push the button would you be somethin or middle class average with an okay marriage one point three baby carriage and a two car garage would you be president would you be american would you be better than everyone else as a representative would you be a monkey would you be lucky would you be a big giant dick always fucking would you be a pumpkin would it be your brain inside a vegetable or would you feel nothing would you manage or would you suffer would you be a lover be a fighter or would you just be alright could you just be alright could you just be alright could you just be alright and if all this could come true would you be ready well i d be ready if i was you