dear deer i am writing you a letter in the hopes that you ll learn better not to go in the woods in pennsylvania cause my dad s in a tree waiting to kill ya just be warned some say dreaming till tomorrow that i ll wash away your sorrow but i m telling you to not sleep with your eyes closed if you do you ll end up sitting in a pot roast it s not fair some say pennsylvania s sunny i prefer to say it s gunny okay maybe that s not funny but either way it s way too punny i know okay dear deer new jersey just might suit you because there they cannot shoot you but the exit signs and turnpikes are just not fun but better than a man holding a shotgun don t you think i m just writing to remind you that an orange man will find you sneak up right behind you seal the fate that s been assigned to you just know that your population s shrinking and the pennsylvania thinking is just backward and ll leave you cold and mounted on a placard it s not fair deer i hope that you can hear me cause i think of you so deer ly so i ll write each sentence clearly and i ll sign it with sincerely k a t e kate 