well i d never sleep with your ex girlfriend even if she starts to flirt with me again allow me apologize for my slightly wicked thoughts cause that s the kind of friend that you ve got if a fight breaks out and you re the cause of it in some redneck bar where you ve been talking shit i would not forsake you later in that parking lot cause that s the kind of friend that you ve got well through the laughter and the tears we go stumbling through the years a bit dysfunctional well folks might say well i ve got the dirt on you hey i ve got plenty on you too so i pray we stay together all our days so when you re on a date and you finally bring that girl home you put a little captain beefheart on the stereo and you disconnect the phone then i show up drunk and raving and then i pass out on the spot cause that s the kind of friend that you ve got well through the laughter and the tears we go stumbling through the years a bit dysfunctional well folks might say you can say that again well i ve got the dirt on you hey i ve got plenty on you too so i pray we stay together all our days oh dear lord yeah i pray we stay together all our days