walk into the club bout to fuck it up by that i mean i m standing in the corner with a buzz wait this time i ma go hard starin at my phone while i walk up to the bar aye le me get a beer i don t care which one i don t wanna start a tab cause i only need one i m a light weight so i m gonna drink like half bottom of the bottle i ma probably need a cab oh my god hey hi oh she was talking to another guy shit i m moving over to the other side quick i gotta find somewhere to go and hide how about upstairs wait it s roped off v i p can t go there fuck off i just said i can t go up there dude i wasn t gonna try to sneak in or anything god but anyways right now it s half past 10 i m feelin kinda lit and i can t find my friends but i don t really care cause the dj just turned on fetty wap all the girls be twerking maybe i ll approach one probably not fuck it hey girl what s yo name you f it s a guy i probably should ve known by the thighs now he s looking at me with a glimmer in his eyes hey boy what s your name uh jake oh my god same i m sorry dude but i m not gay you ain t even cute anyway shame my phone just died now i can t watch streams sitting in a corner looking at a black screen how do i escape this awkwardness maybe i ll fake a call take a piss good shit gotta work my way through the crowd 1 in the morning ain t nobody slowing down shots pouring up and the blunts go around just dropped my phone now i m looking on the ground and i hope nobody step on it i recently got it everybody be careful because i can t leave without it i need a flash light really quick somebody please i gotta find my phone i gotta save the memes screenshots of the snaps that i got from the bitch with the kid should ve never messed with her but i did shit that don t even matter right now i really need to find my phone so i can sit down found it  2 o clock and shit just popped off bitches in the back fucked up top off bitches with the ass out pullin all my cash out 2 shots in i m done i ma tap out can t handle it everybody turnin up for the camera lens dude passed out call an ambulance still all alone can t stand my friends fuck it aye can i buy you a drink she like no i don t think so why i don t fuck with guys i m a lesbian like oh that s fine but i gotta friend that thinks you re cute i m like where she at she like turn around she right behind you i m like oh my god she fat hey my name s ashley what s your name my name is jake i don t mean to hurt your feelings but i am actually gay now i gotta run to the back the fat girl lookin at me like i m a snack i just wanna find my bros so we can hit the road i d rather be at home so i can watch my shows