day one it started when they told my mom to push me i had to struggle since i first came up out the pussy they say the drugs and the alcohol made her womb polluted and all my thoughts and my actions will be convoluted nude full of tubes barely clinging on to life in the incubator shakin like im on the pipe doctors tell my mom be hopeful but all she said is fuck em i dont want him hes better off dead two months later in this box which i call a crib dried snot all on my face and spit up on my bib i just lay around and wait for them to come and get me cuz everytime that i cry someone comes to hit me shit smeared all on my legs and all over the sheets cuz my diaper aint been changed in about a week the one they didnt give a fuck about i guess im it im not ashamed to admit i never had shit i never had clothes i never had food i never had shoes i never had shit i never had friends i never had toys i never had love i never had shit i never had pets i never had bikes i never got hugs i never had shit i never had milk i never had care i never got affection i was molested as a child i never told my momma i thought it was my fault and didnt want the drama she would tell me boy i really fuckin hate you a curse on this world since the day i made you they used to hang me up in the basement by my toes ass naked and spray me with the water hose she used to beat me with anything that was close but burning me with her pipe was what she loved the most never took the time out to tell me that she loved me but she went out of her way to make me feel ugly no better time to kick a person than when hes down she slapped me so hard for months i couldnt hear a sound only child so i know she never did want me and the torture that she put me through still haunts me she put the coldness in my heart thats hard to lift thats why im not okay i never had shit  i didnt care much at all cuz im on something other already callous to the ridicule from my mother i got jumped on the regular by school bullies cuz i dress in all black and always wear hoodies all my life shes been telling me that im the worst she damned me and my soul to hell head first the memories imbedded like a bad acid trip i cant forget about the fact i never had shit 1