o heaven o heaven the next queens bound train is two stations away from tvedestrand my white gown that curls around the harbour fetal style i never was a girly girl forgive me from the very back of the church choir i am standing lone alto range girl in black the front row clasp their hands now they re singing with devotion i separate from feeling complex harmonic motion i shut my mouth and ran away spot out that neoliberal girly heart that held no blood and made no beat just vibrated sweetly in the chest but i m 33 now that s jesus age and girl spaces come back to me i want to sing religiously you know airy more than necessary climbing the ladders just to fall uncontrollably to heaven o heaven i m standing in a graveyard of girls o tvedestrand o white gown the tombstones are so tall and hard i want to sit on them put death inside my body i want so much death inside my body heaven i m sorry i just want to feel so much death a hole to nowhere1