i never wanted to be a man of mystery my life s an open book by james joyce and agatha christie sometimes i get confused somewhere around page two i live the perfect crime and crime pays more than it used to they re checkin the evidence may be some charges pressed the only one they got me on is some misdemeanor craziness if it all falls down falls down falls down if they solve my life they find me out never thought to keep all i have found i have had my fun if it all falls down if it all falls down falls down falls down i have had my fun i have bought a few rounds and been out on the town way out on the town way way way out if it all falls down never wanted to be a part of history i have my days in the sun a beach bum a man for all seasides guidance counselor said your scores are anti heroic computer recommends hard drinking calypso poet studied life at sea studied life in bars never passed my s a t s so i thought i d study extra hard  if it all falls down falls down falls down i have learned my trade from the inside out i can strum real hard i can play real loud i can charm a crowd if it all falls down if it all falls down falls down falls down i can warm a crowd i can make them shout i can juggle verbs adverbs and nouns i can make them dance til they all fall down we had plenty of doctors we had plenty of lawyers we had people to make us things we had people to sell us those things didn t have enough room for those things we build lots of self storage calypso poet shortage calypso poet shortage if it all falls down falls down falls down i ll have filled that void from city to town i ll have spent my money and taken my bows i ll have had my fun if it all falls down if it all falls down falls down falls down if they solve my life if they find me out never thought to keep all i have found i have had my fun if it all falls down if it all falls down falls down falls down i can charm a crowd til they snake dance round with calypso beat down island sound i can make them dance til they all fall down if it all falls down falls down falls down i can warm a crowd i can make them shout i can juggle verbs adverbs and nouns i can make them dance til they all fall down