she had a strange kind of presence restrained but still wild someone said shed been a star as a child all that was left was this druggy despair she had a ribbon on her wrist and chains in her hair there was bloodsucker blues in the lobby at dusk she blew smoke in my face and it felt like a bus and the chef cut his finger off the waiter got fired i only took notes to try to come off inspired she was quick on the uptake and slow on the train the conductor roused us awake on the plains we got off in katonah cause she thought it was spain she handled disappointment pretty well it takes 1 2 3 drinks and now shes not so frightened it takes 4 and 5 and 6 and then shes sick but in the hour in between she feels holy and redeemed blessed and blissful painless and serene she had a strange kind of presence she had blood on her lips someone said shed been a star as a kid she said she wrote stories im not sure that she did she said she wrote screenplays im not sure that she did she said she wrote novels man i know that she didnt it takes 1 2 3 drinks and now shes not so frightened it takes 4 and 5 and 6 and then shes sick but in the hour in between she feels holy and redeemed blessed and blissful painless and serene she left the room to put on her face i went through her purse it was all pills and mace she said it s so hard to choose between space and time she mostly just smoked and drank wine she had a strange kind of presence restrained but still wild someone said shed been a star as a child all that was left was this druggy despair she had a bow on her wrist and chains in her hair it takes 1 2 3 drinks and now shes not so frightened it takes 4 and 5 and 6 and then shes sick it goes 7 8 9 for a while i thought she died but she was smiling when she was rolling back her eyes i woke up at four and she wasnt in bed there was a fire in the kitchen and it felt like my head she didnt leave a note just some cigs in the sink i went down to the bar and i came back with three drinks she had a strange kind of presence restrained but still wild someone said shed been a star as a child