the man behind the curtain refuses to make an honest woman of samantha west she does her best peppering my analog monologues with laughter and exactly s i cannot help it if distance makes my human heart grow fonder when there s so much standing between me and these uncanny valley girls samantha turn on your charm i admire her grace and her penchant for small talk around matters of life and death some lesser goddess ensuring insurance fraudless should we be bereft she s always on offense i ve called her back she only picks up where i did last samantha west don t you ever exist darling trust me that it gets old fast they press for real answers to them it s a laugh testing the limits of language to see how long you last removal to nth degree i m muted breathing heavily left hanging on the telephone but i know that you are right at home who s pushing your buttons now who s making you laugh i m sorry ms west but i am for real