as i write this i must pretend someone s holding my hand probably someone dead i was waiting forbidden no one knew i was waiting not even you i was not speaking you were travelling and you came to me as if someone just died consolidation but violently felt like kissing through a glass window passion separated by space legal like money free free consolidation when it s an excuse as if someone had just died condolences when silences rise in public places and any gathering becomes a cathedral for a short moment in time i let you wipe out my facial features but flesh is the loneliest creature and it s suddenly silenced by the most sudden unlawful act of infinity no i mean infidelity when i on a whim followed her suddenly into a room and kissed like blood intinction to avoid thinking of death death death exchanging one drive for another drive there comes a certain point in our lives when we more or less desperately want to be bad and we gladly exchange the good things just for a short moment to feel alive i can tell you that i ve never felt so alive as when you embraced me you were travelling and you came to me as if someone had just died consolidation of violence as if already it did not and later we regret it because we have no language to express that it was both ravishing ravishing destructive and most of all most of all absolutely necessary these things to feel alive free to die to die free in whoever s innocent arms