i think i m almost happy here but i will never regret venturing despite fear because everyone wanted me to see that we could not thrive so if this is reality then i guess i don t regret the nights i thought that i had died cause sometimes i feel like nothing and nothing ever changes when changes consume me through these changing stages everything we could have done differently is now just a memory and the love i hoped for is hanging on a rope and it s funny how artistic we become when our hearts are broken through this constant collapse the thought of relapse i guess it s safe to throw our bones back in the sea i guess it s safe to throw our bones back in the sea with this saltwater for blood and fear of falling in love i m almost happy here but i m still moving i just want us to run wild young beauty because i always thought i would be okay and some days i still feel the same but every day the same way i feel afraid to embrace grace cause i know i don t deserve it and i know that i can t earn this and i know that i can hurt this heart that i have grown within but it s a given to even someone as sick as me now i can breathe seeing that i m not living in apathy so i guess we ll throw our bones back into the sea i guess it s safe to throw our bones back into the sea come with me and i hope i stay alive because ghosts can t love through this broke love and turn to above in a quick dash feel the impact on this car crash and pray to god i can be forgiven and have my friends back where we sleep is where we dream and i haven t slept for days rem cycles are a memory of when i was sitting in a dorm room thinking of how much greener the grass would be if i became a touring act someday but now i m dreaming or sinking most nights they feel the same since i can lose one friend lose all friends and still not keep those demons at bay and i said all my friends are trees with the roots in the earth what hurts is that the branches in a community we ve labeled our hearts into a collective scene into a collective faithless dream of empty courage and empty hearts hollow light hollow lovers always falling apart so i ll love life and let go and try my best to understand there s nothing new to know though i didn t say it s true i still feel the same like i died with you and i feel the strain taking two steps back on these wooden floorboards i ll beg for more and pray this isn t just a retrospective moment not just a soul begging for catharsis but rather the start of a new me and a real movement god forgive me
['slam poetry']