just when i thought everything would be ok just when i started to believe that everything was going my way out came the cloud from under my feet crashing back down to reality you used to call me pumpkin now i m halloween remember when i used to be your jellybean you used to call me schnookums and shit like that now you re after me with a baseball bat i remember when i used to be the king your honey sweet darling baby everything i used to be your tall dark mystery man now i m just straight up history man just when i thought everything would be alright just when i started to believe that everything was out of sight you left me with nothing but a scribbled note that said i would no longer be your love boat from here on out my pet name would be ex your ex your ex your ex it used to be sugar then it turned into salt i used to rock your world now i m standing on a fault line lying naked in a hail storm in the dark you re my little tornado and i am your trailer park you used to call me names too cute to repeat like honey bunch hairy bear and piccolo pete goochy goochy goo goo gaga shit like that now you re after me screaming you dirty rat i don t remember applying for a name change so why is it you re calling me mister deranged psychopathic pornographic stinking drunk failing fast lying ass worthless punk  you used to call me sweetie pie and baby doll i guess another stud s kicking in my stall you ll probably call him superman or lover boy you ll probably disregard him like a broken toy just when he thought everything was going his way just when he started to believe everything was hunky dory he ll look at that cloud that he s standing on and with an itsy bitsy teeny little almost inaudible squeak he ll notice it s gone from here on out his pet name would be ex your ex your ex your ex sweetie pie no ex honey bunch no ex bubble butt no ex pumpkin face ex 