i got to kansas city on a frid y by sattidy i larned a thing or two for up to then i didn t have an idy of what the modren world was comin to i counted twenty gas buggies goin by theirsel s almost ev ry time i took a walk nen i put my ear to a bell telephone and a strange womern started in to talk to you what next yeah what what next gather round ev rythin s up to date in kansas city they ve gone about as fur as they c n go they went n built a skyscraper seven stories high about as high as a buildin orta grow ev rythin s like a dream in kansas city it s better than a magic lantern show y c n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat with ev ry kind of comfort ev ry house is all complete you c n walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet they ve gone about as fur as they c n go yes sir they ve gone about as fur as they c n go ev rythin s up to date in kansas city they ve gone about as fur as they c n go they got a big theayter they call a burleycue fer fifty cents you c n see a dandy show  gals what one of the girls was fat and pink and purty as round above as she was round below i could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel but later in the second act when she began to peel she proved that everything she had was absolutely real she went about as fur as she could go yes sir she went about as fur as she could go