i worry about the weather and the pressure in my head and how my lungs can t find the oxygen to form a single breath that doesn t get caught in my throat with all the words i couldn t say i pray that things are getting better i still worry about the weather and i m sick to death of rain and these panic attacks do nothing for my tired swollen brain my days aren t getting better and i m still numbing the pain i lost my mind and all my hope in feeling fine again cause i m holding out for a saving grace to show me the error of my ways i really need a change i m not a pessimist but sometimes hope is missed or missing i haven t felt so fucking drained i need a break i caught a glimpse of my reflection and didn t recognise my face i left a note at home explaining how i m sorry that i left i just needed to be alone for a while to realise i m a mess i pray that that things are getting better but i won t hold my breath cause i m holding out for a saving grace to show me the error of my ways i really need a change i m not a pessimist but sometimes hope is missed or missing i haven t felt so fucking drained i need a break i m not quite there but i m on my way i m still forgetting names and faces i need to get away from this place cause my outlooks changed along with how i speak and i m really not the same as i used to be i m always living in my head and i can t remember when i last felt alive cause i m holding out for a saving grace to show me the error of my ways i really need a change i m not a pessimist but sometimes hope is missed or missing i haven t felt so fucking drained i need a break