well the snow ain t falling down nobody bundled head to feet there s no children sledding snowball frickin fighting in the street there ain t no christmas carolers singing jolly winter songs it s just spray tanned people out sunbathing in their thongs nobody with chestnut roasting no snowmen being made you can pray for some hot cocoa all you ll get is lemonade there ain t no snowflakes falling cuz it s 85 degrees when it drops way down to 70 people think they re gonna freeze and you re sweating half to death as you hang lights in the palm trees it s christmas time in california put on your sunscreen christmas time in california toasty warm and green take a sleighride to the beach do snow angels in the sand cuz it s christmas time in california you decorate your lawn with surfin santas made of lights you put the fake snow on the rooftop and scratch mosquito bites you cruise in your convertible drive thru the taco bell the lot next door has million dollar christmas trees to sell and you buy a dried up douglas fir and wonder what the hell it s christmas time in california put on your sunscreen christmas time in california toasty warm and green take a sleigh ride to the beach do snow angels in the sand cuz it s christmas time in california i don t wanna mow the lawn right now i wanna shovel snow i don t wanna any more damn sunshine i want 29 below i don t wanna wear a tanktop cuz my snow suit can t be beat i don t want these stupid flip flops i want moon boots on my feet i don t wanna go out swimming i d rather be on skis i don t wanna be all toasty warm i d rather frickin freeze and if i spend another minute on the stupid 405 i will drive my damn car off a cliff and burn my ass alive maybe i should move away but the rest of the year is pretty okay so i ll suffer through another holiday it s christmas time in california put on your sunscreen christmas time in california toasty warm and green take a sleighride to the beach do snow angels in the sand cuz it s christmas time in california
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