every friday night i go to bubba s hardware store and give the secret knock on the private stockroom door good ol boys are shootin craps playin five card stud hot lookin women ice cold suds this blonde was playin poker she was on a roll i sat down beside her with my ace in the hole i had to draw a jack to win with a stright ace high but win i drew that card i kissed that pot goodbye cause im one jack off here in my hand i got an ace a king a queen and a ten and now im in a jam i was doin fine till i pulled that nine thats win i went soft i was temptin fate with an ace high stright but im one jack off ive played with this deck so long its messin with my mind ive heard it said to much of this it can make a man go blind i can t let her beat me but i ain t got a prayer im sure shes got a real good hand i see shes got a pair i stared accross the table hopin that she calls then when she raised me well i dang near lost it all i tried to pull it out figurin id bluff but win i showed her what i had she said to bad your one jack off im just one jack off ain t that great she said nice try but nine ten queen king ace dont make a stright i said how about another round she said adie up there hoss she took all my money and im still one jack off im one jack off just my luck she won my favorite pair of cowboy boots and the pink slip to my truck i knew id have to come again next week to get back what i lost thats the story of my life its seems im always one jack off thats right one jack off