see it was september 1st 1999 the day of my death my back was on the cold concrete as i took my last breath i saw my body laying on the ground as my soul hovered above me damn eyedea you was a good looking cat but anyway another day at eighteen years of age step into heaven s gate anxious to see what god got to say maybe he ll give me a gift for always saying my prayers but he might send me downstairs for last year s love affair well who cares you know right now it s all a mystery i mean i ll find out when i get there until then i can t let it get to me i m keeping my cool besides everybody dies i ll just follow the white light like the do in the movies it seems like hours went by and i m still traveling right towards the brightness now this ain t heaven or hell this realm is lifeless and i hate to say it but this wild goose chase had me bored no directions no clues and no idea what i was in for but then forward i kept floating and then a quick flash the lights split directly in half and created a forked path representing each side was an angel now what s the task i have to untangle to meet the big man in charge i ask and the one on the right of me says one of us always lies and the other one always tells the truth ask the right one the right question and he ll direct you to heaven but if you ask the wrong one son farewell you re going straight to well y all get the picture the one on my left told me not to listen to his fibs he said it ain t that complicated to find out where god lives he told me to follow his path and tell god he said hi then the one on my right jumped in and told me not to believe his lies and i m like jesus fucking christ i didn t care much for life but i ve tried to stay alive forever if i knew this is what death was like i was never good at problem solving especially in emergencies i get a tad bit nervous when concerned with burning for eternity but anyways i asked them which one lied and they pointed at each other and thinking i had it i asked the name of my mother one said he don t know the other said he know but he can t tell me goddamn this is gonna be hard so i asked like thirty questions and i still wasn t sure but being me i got pissed and gave those pricks a few good words frustrated with it all i turned my back to the angels and when i walked away to my surprise i found myself in heaven ya know i m saying kinda just turned around from the whole situation rejecting everything that was going on that s how i walked into heaven i walked away walked away walked straight into heaven i walked away walked away walked straight into heaven