it s starting to pull me under i can feel it beneath my feet the last few months have passed so slowly and it s been so long since i ve seen your smile i m afraid to ask what s wrong so i sit and stare frustrated digging my nails into my palms i never wanted you to see me like that bloodshot eyes bleeding fists speechless love a new year s wish i never wanted you to see me reenact those days i threw away stuttered screams from a distant voice i followed you all the way to your front door no words could take the pain from your eyes like a knife through the heart i ll be sleeping alone tonight and when i wake you won t see me again you won t have to worry about me anymore i m sorry for all the times i fucked up i m sorry for every time i let you down you always said it was hard to talk and i guess it always was but it still feels the same i still feel the same the only difference is you re not there i brought this on myself you re not there when i need you the most you re not there and i can t stop thinking of you