when i was 33 i made my first mill same woman by my side we in love still 2 daughters and a dog and a nice crib but i ain t dumb enough to think that where it all is me and alex rappin on the weekends ephesians 6 10 when my week ends sending e mails to tie up all my weak ends pool of beats now i m swimmin in the deep end just tryna stay afloat trusting in you but sometimes i climb back in the boat like just let me be i m starin in this mirror like let s be me for a change sometimes i feel i wanna be them for the change and fatten up the chance that is slim for a name seein red when i think of this world that i ll gain but that s the reason why you came for the lame like me i ain t got no money but i m feelin real special on my mind all i m dealin with chasin all the dreams that i ll never get when the light ain t on i m still legit so i don t wanna move to fast i m over here takin my time and i don t want regret my past i ain t proud of every part of my life i m ridin down 285 man i ve been feelin strain reflectin on my past and my present thinkin to future days a lot of the time that i spent has started to feel like a waste i m prayin and i know it s true preparing for a better place and i ain t chasin a house and a whip because i have that my home is wit the lord of hosts but i ain t livin past that pressure that i feel to chase material things got these fronts on my fangs and a couple gold rings but i m pullin up to the spot that i stay at out in college park i shoulda stayed in school but i ain t really have that college heart i took a couple tests and i passed em but i still feel the call to be a pastor should i ignore and look passed em the southside raised me and it s radio livin like a devil as a teen that s just the way we go uh am i foolish enough to think that i can change even though my heart was hard and darkened i won t ever be the same  ridin through the city havin visions of my past life i couldn t say that it was reminiscing a dark place i would rather not visit you d think of me different life goin further down the drain wit every decision blind eye s couldn t quite see through the weed smoke straight out of scripture i ll paint you a picture of a very present god who would never forget ya help me hear past the melodies of two felonies i know i shoulda never been is it true what he telling me that i could be set free with new identity fast forward i gave him my life he asked for it and he would never leave even if i would ask for it so when i m ridin down 85 that gratitude fillin me i remember 2005 conviction was killin me now your spirit is healin me from the hand of my enemies never knew that a guilty man could be freed from his penalties 