one day i left my room in the evening it was freezing the sidewalk shining but it was ok i wasn t lonely i wasn t no one i was just hoping for a bookstore like the one i prayed for and the music they play there would be dinosaur jr and the people who worked there would be super skinny and super unfriendly and that would make me happy and that would make me happy what really kills me is i m only lonely when i talk to you yeah i should have told you i just can t handle your endless sorrow all i wanted from you was some tomorrow but its ok i ll find a bookstore and buy saul bellow and one about old ruins for my mother you never met her she liked manhattans they taste like mouthwash she understood how to be alone all alone all alone maybe the worst is over maybe the worst is over maybe the worst is over maybe the worst is over one day left my room in the evening the sun had just gone down but the sky was still shining and not even the stars up up in their heaven could throw their ashes on the blue still burning over this ugly city and that makes me happy and that makes me happy and that makes me happy and that makes me happy