i ve been caught up in the darkness of my anger and my hatred i close my eyes and see myself hanging in the basement dangling my legs veins straining in my head blood draining in the tub drowning in it i been down in it the mud i mean down in it the dirt i mean really down in it lost and found in it bezerk i ve been burned by the fire scorched by the flames of my own sins and desires so i call them by their names when they come greed gluttony sloth envy and lust they re all enemies but they act so friendly with us they roll with two other guys we call wrath and pride now i m half as high as i am low i can laugh and cry at the same time but i can t slow down feeling manicky panicky full of anarchy can it be so simple to get rid of them with ritalin i m trying to get into heaven cutting out the middle man every time i drift away i see myself dead and buried in the cemetery accidentally staring at the sun shining through the filthy glass windows broken bottles in the bed sheets tangled bloody naked with a gun i m livin in this tiny ass room with the mattress on the floor and an ashtray look what i ve become light up a half sniped cigarette and take my last swig of liquor smoke the filter down down till it s done but i ain t done i m cold blooded stuck with the spirit of hell frozen here s a hole inside my soul my fear and my self loathing got me hallucinating that all my walls are closing in i think i m losing my grip there it goes again these demons live inside of me they talk to me and lie to me whisper homicidally i m tryin to get em out of me but i can see this side of me it s just becoming clearer i m startin to hate the sight of me i break the fuckin mirror please jesus just just just listen to my prayer if you can please i m believing that these distances i ve gone too far to leave i m breathing in the sickness this addiction and disease this mess i m in this vicious is my missus and my mistresses i m twisted and ballistic i m addicted to this world forgive me for the pain that i ve inflicted on my girl and my son i was stuck holding his bottle and a gun and i couldn t get away where i was from 3