it s all downhill from here old man auf wiedersehen two steps forward six feet underground standing o take a bow lab coats machines and all the chemotherapy don t seem to me an answer to these tears you long to see so i ain t crying no more i d pull out the plug if i could muster up the love no one wants memories of skid marks pants pissed jim beam mary jane wherefore art thou kevorkian no way jose it s not for me this life spent basking in you agony give me the longest walks prescribe for me the shortest piers i ain t going out like that no way not me i d rather die and as i stood there by his bed bowls of jell o crusts of bread stared straight into his eyes and i wanted him to die and i felt the shame of such such naivet that someone young that someone dumb someone my age could feel so callously to want to piss in the fountains of youth to dance all night on the graves of the dead to want to tear those pink ribbons to shreds and as he lay there in his bed 80 pounds half dead he said bink please hold my hand i don think that you understand oh puneta i ve done all that i can and i don t want to die you re gonna die you re gonna die you re gonna