she said let s smoke some marijuana i said oh no dont really wanna cuz i be sorta scared kinda cuz last time i smoked turned into a muhfucking goat kids dont smoke marijuana less you wanna end staring down a little bottle full of milk in a petting zoo scream help but they won t rescue you cause goats cant fucking talk that well well i m telling you dont smoke that shit dont snort that shit report that shit im forced to shit inside a boarded four by four right next to where the horses shit it all started friday lucy said lets smoke some pot i said oh no lets not it s shabbot shalom shalom shabbot she said why not were all alone lets smoke it all lets all get stoned show you my bra take off our clothes sounds like a ball cant say it dont so we started doing mary jane she crushed up some bud and snorted so of course i did the same she wanted more i didn t abstain all aboard the aeroplane pulled out a needle shot up weed and now it s coursing through my veins now it s forcing me to change oh my god i got four legs lucy help i only did this cuz you promised me foreplay marc you need some help im here to get you started opened my eyes and saw a strange man with a beard i beg your pardon but where are we the man farted stood and laughed im glad you asked my names laremie im a wizard and look i have implanted calves what the fuck is going on why the fuck am i goat he chuckled and said calm down son this what happens when you smoke this what happens when you toke well look after you and hope your little habit can be broke now put this on we have to go wait a sec wait just a min laremie paused and faked a grin he said it s tough to take it in but youre going to your cage my friend then he waved his wizard wand and chanted some li l stupid charm and when i woke up i was staring at the roof inside a barn a farmer with a pitchfork poked me said ooh you must be marc as he cackled an evil laugh and said welcome to the farm we wont do you any harm long as youre a good good goat now get inside your cage where we keep the ones who smoke  life as a goat was devasted but one morning awoke and laremie was levitating he said you made it you get to turn back into human lets celebrate it young fella made it but don t you go get hella faded or elevated or however the hell you say it kids these days dont even know i said i got it just lemme go he waved his wand clicked his toes and just like that i m not a goat i m back to human oh god has spoke he said good luck i gotta go and disappeared a cloud of smoke so i m reformed i hope got a swarm of hope i informed my folks but all they did is scorn and gloat and mourn i smoked rather see me on the corner broke so i m just tryna sorta cope applied for jobs but they ve all told me we don t hire former goats yo so kids don t smoke marijuana less you wanna end up just like me would you care to be with laremie on a dumb ass farm in a small ass barn with a horse named norm and a pig named poe if you don t wanna end up being changed to a goat next time that they smoke i would just say no 2