and i can t become my father when it s all been said and done his completions won t complete me i ve divided me by one i m the answer to his riddle i m the caution of his wind i m the spoon wedged between tongue and teeth beneath his trembling grin and i dare add my revision for i dare not suffer twice and i dare not reinvent the past and i dare not be the christ and i welcome any sufferer and i welcome any saul sitting in this room on wooden bench waiting for joi to call and i suffer here alone lord perturbed by my every thought how i ve tried to strip them to the bone i ve struggled and i ve fought every jealous warped intention smuggled sewn into genes every hidden mongrel tendency exploiting me in me each time i put them under but still they wanna test me i cry out through the thunder you storm right past me i search and i ponder i question and wonder i roar and i thunder please let me in i ve been waiting here for what now seems the better of an hour i ve raised every crippled question from the dead and given power to the absence of my sanity the presence of a fear that lies in between forgotten dreams that pile up every year up above the highest testaments down below the wooden floor there s a gutted room pitch black at noon beneath a hidden door deep within you ll find the attributes of every sunken man who must bang his head against the dead each day he tries to stand and he s standing pressed against the very woman that he loves kissing eyes and lips embracing hips surrendering to her touch and just at the very moment that he touches heart to heart she pulls from his touch cause it s too much to mend what s torn apart each time i put them under but still they wanna test me i cry out through the thunder you storm right past me i search and i ponder i question and wonder i roar and i thunder please let me in  it s so hard to be the man i would be if hatred and fear no longer appeared i swear i ve become the skin of a drum the heart of a man divided i stand