staring down the barrel of another holiday force fed a christmas carol another time another place another way what child is this who who laid to rest mary s love is sleeping what child is this who who feels so blessed it cannot keep from weeping i should be tending to the horses who intend to cart my joy from now until forever i m just a lowly unstable boy i m a failure on a journey but my strength is gathering it s only fair that i ll make it there yeah i m on my way to mattering but all the way on the way i couldn t contain my fear my lips only look rosy cause my skin looks so white in here shred up my fingers on this bottle cap that won t twist off aching for the syrup that could cure me of this hacking cough ask me how i m feeling and i ll say i m okay though my mind is wreathing can t think of anything better to say is that what you get for running a yellow light a fistful of regret and a fix that doesn t last i m a super califragile piece of fucked up all i need a spoon full of something fast i should be tending to the horses who intend to cart my joy from now until forever i m just a lowly unstable boy i m a failure on a journey but my strength is gathering it s only fair that i ll make it there yeah i m on my way to mattering but all the way on the way i couldn t contain my fear my lips only look rosy cause my skin looks so white in here shred up my fingers on this bottle cap that won t twist off aching for the syrup that could cure me of this hacking cough stupid fucking world of mine you keep moving the fucking finish line you trick me over here you hide it over there you start another game when you see me starting to care well i don t expect you to hear me say i m gonna chew my way out of your lab rat cage someday but all the way on the way i couldn t contain my fear my lips only look rosy cause my skin looks so white in here shred up my fingers on this bottle cap that won t twist off aching for the syrup that could cure me of this hacking cough