paranoia is the insect worming its way through my subconscious thoughts it s the larva of my self doubt gestating in my heart as i spiral down and everything i touch is breaking and it falls to earth in splinters and i shiver as every splinter finds its way underneath my skin and after 22 years i can still make my skin crawl every shortcoming a pitfall on my way to making amends within myself to be to be what i became sometimes it feels like the whole wide world has made itself my enemy but i will stand upon my own two feet and raise my head up i lick my wounds trying to cleanse the infection rabid and diseased reality fades away when i pushed myself too far a dream of emotional perfection has left a wounded heart trying to perceive the gifts inherent inside me it s like squeezing the trigger it s like opening fire on everyone who s let me down on every beautiful lie that is that is only fiction  sometimes it feels like the whole wide world has made itself my enemy but i will stand upon my own two feet and raise my head up for the first time i m losing control and i like it freedom feels like the noose is gone for the first time i m losing control and i like it freedom feels like the noose is gone