for her first number miss roxie hart would like to sing a song of love and devotion dedicated to her dear husband amos sometime s i m right sometime s i m wrong but he doesn t care he ll string along he loves me so that funny honey of mine sometime s i m down sometime s i m up but he follows round like some droopy eyed pup he loves me so that funny honey of mine he ain t no sheik that s no great physique lord knows he ain t got the smarts but look at that soul i tell you the whole is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts and if you knew him like me i know you d agree what if the world slandered my name why he d be right there takin the blame he loves me so and it all suits me fine that funny sunny honey hubby of mine  a man s got a right to protect his home and his loved ones right of course he has well i came in from the garage officer and i see him coming through the window with my wife roxanne there sleepin like an angel an angel he loves me so that funny honey of mine i mean supposin just supposin he had violated her or somethin you know what i mean violated i know what you mean or somethin think how terrible that would have been it s a good thing i came home from work on time i m tellin ya that i say i m tellin ya that he loves me so that funny honey of mine name of deceased fred casely fred casely how could he be a burglar my wife knows him he sold us our furniture lord knows he ain t got the smarts she lied to me she told me he was a burglar you mean he was dead when you got home she had him covered with a sheet already and she s givin me that cock and bull story about this burglar and i ought to say that i did it cause i was sure to get off burglar huh now he shot off his trap with just one more brain what a half wit he d be if they string me up i ll know who brought the twine and i believed her that cheap little tramp so she s two timing me huh well she can just swing for all i care boy i m down at the garage working my butt off fourteen hours a day and she s up munchin on bonbons and tramping around like some goddamn floozy thought you could pull a war by i wasn t born yet i tell you there s something a man just can t take this time she pushed me too far that little chiseler boy what a sap i was that scummy crummy dummy hubby of mine