it s a troubled world have you seen the news kids of today in a haze of booze someone wake me up from this crazy dream little janie s got a date with jim beam but this horrible curse oh it just keeps getting worse a kids birthday party sponsored by bacardi put down that momosa wingardium leviosa janie what have you been thinking expliarmus teenage drinking let harry potter kick your habit so drop that drink just sorting hat it jordan what are you doing harry potter why he is the best yeah look but that s not what the songs about no but is what the songs about harry potter has a magic wand and with his magic wand harry potter can stop teenage drinking what in fact harry potter can solve all of the worlds problems listen he ll stop hunger put an end to pollution yeah harry potter is the ultimate solution he ll stop global warming and all the rape just like he stopped professor snape so let your cauldron bubble and lets all forget our troubles dont be feeling down or depressed just climb aboard the hogwarts express forget all you sins come with ron and the weasley twins if your wife is being a whore 50 points to griffyndor if you re burnt by a goblet of fire just jump on your broomstick it s time to get higher yo whether you re a muggle a wizard or a witch if you got that itch then catch that snitch he ll solve your problems no matter how tragic harry potter he s fucking magic no cure for aids so you thought he ll smack it down just like voldemort he ll never admit defeat about harry yeah if he were blind who would make me see slytherin and ravenclaw even hufflepuff and gryffindor open the door get on the floor everybody do the dumbledore come on benny dont be a stranger aloha mora hermione granger but i can t read dont weep or cry there s books on tape by stephen fry so if you re looking for that extra jolt choose that boy who lived with the lightning bolt and here s one extra final piece of news yeah got to stop those animals escaping from zoos something else for all of you non believers the people responsible are careless zookeepers late at nights when they leave open the cages i find it we find it outrageous outrageous