lately i been up for days barely even blinking rolling blunts and pouring cups to keep myself from thinking in the mist of all this pressure i be sinking niggas trynna fuck in the industry they be winking and i m just a girl 19 with dreams of being on the big screen blue jeans jordan s kind of cute but still can spit mean gas bill getting high so fuck it i mma bring the heat i m trynna eat and it ain t sweet until i m checking into suites i doubled back and made it happen started writing poetry and now i m noticed off of this rapping making music for niggas in chicago that be trapping but still can switch it up for all the poets that be snapping they told me that i m blowing up i m trynna get bigger feel good to be played by radios and not these niggas a lot of people told i wouldn t make it how you figure then i realized they want what i got or they just bitter lame niggas i never cared about my fate because i know i got what it takes so i m in difference to the hate i got to many hopes at stake but still i m drowning i feel myself surrounded by doctors and machines my blood rushing head pounding they say women don t make it unless they on they knees so i got down on my knees started praying god please not religious but i want it bad so i be praying boy niggas tryna play me like a game but i ain t playing boy mama barely cared for the crib was never this hard when i was laying in the crib as a baby who would think i would make it this far but i be damned if i made it here and don t go another yard shit is getting hard i want it all fuck a deal if they ain t talking right been running my city for so long that i ain t walking right i m from chicago the city people die for but they ain t talking they just shooting at they rivals my grandma died in her sleep next to a bible i m starting to feel like my life is just a recital niggas faking so i be writing until my fingers aching i d stop breathing before i even think that i ain t gone make it and everybody out here thinking everybody sleeping on em i set alarms and it s creeping on em i had a fucked up life i m breaking down so whenever i get me a swisher i m breaking down and whenever i get me a bottle i m pouring up thoughts racing and i m stuck soon enough i m slowing up then i get to throwing up all the pain i was feeling all the tears i was shedding when the obstacles was given all the niggas on my side that told me they would ride but they lied now i m in the building and they outside so in the future when they see me in that beamer just know i wasn t shit i turned myself into a dreamer part 27