makes me make me sweat till i m wet till i m dry but then wipe this tear from my eye haven t even felt this warm in a long time even out in the bright sunshine in a lifetime of spring times i fall into your arms with my heart pumpin on like a bubblin dub track like a garlicky hot tongue and lip smack i did some contemplation before we got down to this consecration well maybe baby something in your kiss said it was impetuous for me to rethink this if i love you then i better get tested make sure we are protected i walk through the park dressed like a question mark hark i hear my memory bark in the back of my brain makin me insane like cocaine but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive is it gonna be a negative but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive is it gonna be a negative but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive it dawned on me it seemed to me that this is unusual scenery this red light greenery make me feel kinda dreamery thinkin how i used to be arrive at the clinic and walk through the front door take a nervous number then i think about it more about all the time that i neglected making sure that i was protected they took my blood with an anonymous number two weeks waitin and wonderin i shoulda done this a long time ago a lot of excuses why i couldn t go i know these things and these things i must know but it s better to know than to not know but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive is it gonna be a negative but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive is it gonna be a negative but how m i gonna live my life if i m positive  i go home to kick it in my apartment i try to give myself a risk assessment the waiting is what can really annoy ya every single day is more paranoia i m readin about how aids gets transmitted some behavior i must admit it who i slept with who they slept with who they who they who they who they slept with i think about life and immortality what s the first thing i do if i m h i v i have a cry and tell my mother get on the phone and call my past lovers i never thought about infectin another all the times that i said hmmm don t bother was it really all that magic the times i didn t use a prophylactic would my whole life have to change or would my whole life remain the same sometimes it makes me wanna shout all these things too hard to think about a day to laugh a day to cry a day to live and a day to die till i find out i may wonder but i m not gonna live my life six feet under cause how m i gonna live my life if i m positive is it gonna be a negative and how m i gonna live my life if i m positive and how m i gonna live my life if i m positive is it gonna be a negative and how m i gonna live my life if i m positive 