welcome to mirrielees orientation my names nate and ill be your ra for this year today well be moving into our dorms and building community so go get your keys from the main office come back and get ready to meet your roommatesalright he was the roommate from hell he was the roommate from hell satan was my roommate so junior year was hell he lacked social skills and had a pungent smell when your roommate is the devil it can be extremely whack putting posters on the wall of trapt and nickelback until the break of dawn hed be mutilating sheep its 4 am satan can you please go to sleep i cant have girls over when the dorm smells like sterno when did room 56 become dantes inferno he likes death and destruction i like radio and art he likes holding down christians and reading jean paul sartre while im going to class studying my notes hes eating baby fetuses and sacrificing goats he tricks the freshman girls into eating apples holding black masses down at the campus chapel should have never moved in wish i were dead should have found a place off campus on craigs list instead he was the roommate from hell his name is lucifer someone call a priest and bring the crucifer he was the roommate from hell leaves his pitchfork in my bed im in a satanic panic cause he is messing with my head yo pass that giant balloon of helium over here yo  okay but wait satanthats too much boy you need a bitch slap not my fault were mismatched you geek out over beakmans world i dig on world of witchcraft youre thinking that im riff raff huffing on a dishrag i am just a player playing slayer then i kick back i know i reek of sulfur leave the shower curtain open i come home drunk make crank calls to queens and then hoboken but college is like salem all these bitches be so smokin if youre thinking that im leaving that im thinking that youre jokin i gotta share my bunk with this post punk chump calls this place a dump says youve been through my stuff i wish youd go to hell i say hey thats where im from blasts death cab and devo hes too emo to get crunk i was a very nice boss down in paradise lost i had very nice bling cause my minions mine floss to hell with college this is knowledge at a very high cost gotta go do some blow with that hokate moss lars youre causing laughter when you call yourself a rapper dude how many dead milkman albums are there named after you i always got beer i always got weed best roommate ever if youd ever ask me 