i got 36 expressions sweet as pie to tough as leather and that s six expressions more than all them barrymores put together instead of just kicking me why don t they give me a lift well it must be a plot cause their scared that i got such a gift well i m miffed cause i m the greatest star i am by far but no one knows it wait they re gonna hear a voice a silver flute they ll cheer each toot when i expose it i m a natural camille as camille i just feel i ve so much to offer i m a natural cougher some ain t got it not a lump i m a great big clump of talent laugh they ll bend in half a thousand jokes a thousand faces i reiterate when you re gifted then you re gifted these are facts i ve got no axe to grind hey whaddaya blind in all of the world so far i m the greatest star no autographs please ya think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever i should say not any minute now they re gonna be out finished then it ll be my turn hmph who is the pip with pizzazz who is all ginger and jazz who is as glamourous as who s an american beauty rose with an american beauty nose and ten american beauty toes eye on the target and wham one shot one gun shot and bam hey mister keeney here i am i m the greatest star i am by far but no one knows it that s why i was born i ll blow my horn till someone blows it i ll light up like a light right up like a light i ll flicker then flare up all the world s gonna stare up looking down you ll never see me try the sky cause that ll be me i can make em cry i can make em sigh someday they ll clamor for my drama have ya guessed yet who s the best yet if ya ain t i ll tell ya one more time you ll bet your last dime in all of the world so far i am the greatest greatest staaaaaaar 1