you wake up you re sweating you know you should ve stayed out but it s dad s car and with one more you wouldn t have cleared the roundabout safe now it s over the clammy slumber detoxing the warm haze is long gone and it s as bad a time as any to think about him whitecaps to gray sky and you took all that dramamine the worse end of a bad dream when you lost your heart at seventeen consigned it to your brother he swam it two miles out offshore it s aching in his hands pining from the ocean floor fingers laced around those veins casualty of a cold campaign the day he left you were ensnared your soul held in suspension there maybe he s the blood and ink the time you waste at the bathroom sink you learned to decorate his hell with the awful things you tell yourself you lost your way dark cloud in a black hole your veins all swell the words appear you bleed out on your bedsheets when you say out loud that you can t stay here dark cloud in a black hole your veins all swell the words appear you bleed out on your bedsheets when you say out loud that you can t stay here dark cloud in a black hole your veins all swell the words appear you bleed out on your bedsheets when you say out loud that you can t stay here1