if i hadn t been a quiet introspective kid if i hadn t been a nerd wouldn t have met with him if we hadn t observed we d be the best of friends that preferred the spoken word to the toke and binge if momma hadn t died when i was young would me and sis been so tight from jump if dad hadn t lost his mind to a disease would i be up here asking ya ll to notice me in the dark times didn t know where the path went i was close to the edge like grand master flash said it was hands of my friends that held me back yes without them i d mj keep sliding backwards or be a hypocrite like some others have been if that and the other hadn t happened don t know that i d ever been brer rabbit asking how many ifs between hero and has been if i if i if i had only known that i would be a lamb to the slaughter now i know if i if i if i had only known i know i bet it only makes me stronger now i know now i know now i know know know now i know now i know now i know know know if i hadn t grown up in the 80s experiencing the various things that made me would i still be standing center stage trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate if mommy daddy hadn t turned off mork and mindy to inform us divorce was pending would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy moving back and forth with such forceful energy i remember when i was a little baby lying there alone on my pillow casing upset already i could feel the aging the urge to return was debilitating and maybe i m still afraid and need to cry a little harder for the world of play things stop looking back on these silly day dreams sing along with me if you feel the same way if i if i if i had only known that i would be a lamb to the slaughter now i know if i if i if i had only known i know i bet it only makes me stronger now i know now i know now i know know know now i know now i know now i know know know if i had known what awaited was unplanned if i had known the blade was in a loved one s hand if i had known of the possible injury if i had known the altar was meant for me but now i know nobody can predict events and now i know there s cracks in the picket fence now i know that something else exists and now i know a life can be built from this if i had known emotions would still remain if i had known that time wouldn t heal the pain if i had known the intent of the injury if i had known the altar wasn t meant for me now i know there s treasure hidden in these scars now i know there s presence in an empty yard now i know what it took for me to survive but now i know where to go to become alive if i if i if i had only known that i would be a lamb to the slaughter now i know if i if i if i had only known i know i bet it only makes me stronger now i know now i know now i know know know now i know now i know now i know know know