i ve been lost in fear and loathing on a bathroom tile floor holding fistfuls of my blood barely together and for a moment it had seemed like to die is just a dream and to live after tonight would be a nightmare and in the mirror i could see an older man stare back at me with drinks and crushed up pills like some failed science he seemed to say without a voice that his future was a choice and the truth will all at once become apparent won t you be the liberator to this overactive brain because i ve been struggling to feel out what these thoughts mean i m a stumbling narcoleptic fingers grasped to hearts of glass and in a bed of shards i ll fall right in to good dreams where life would stand so still and for a moment we are free restless souls flown from the sea one day i will steal the traction from the ether walk right into everything i want to be and when my bones are laid into the ground someday i hope to hell i had the guts to tell you everything and when my bones are laid into the ground someday i hope to hell that you and i d seen everything because i ve been lovesick lost and lonely on the wrong side of the world in a decade strong of suffering and silence and when the world paints me a cynic i guess that s just what i ll be because there s no greater hope left in this idle city