an old man turned ninety eight he won the lottery and died the next day it s a black fly in your chardonnay it s a death row pardon two minutes too late and isn t it ironic don t you think it s like rain on your wedding day it s a free ride when you ve already paid it s the good advice that you just didn t take and who would ve thought it figures mr play it safe was afraid to fly he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good bye he waited his whole damn life to take that flight and as the plane crashed down he thought well isn t this nice and isn t it ironic don t you think it s like rain on your wedding day it s a free ride when you ve already paid it s the good advice that you just didn t take and who would ve thought it figures well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything s okay and everything s going right and life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything s gone wrong and everything blows up in your face a traffic jam when you re already late a no smoking sign on your cigarette break it s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife it s meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife hm and isn t it ironic don t you think a little too ironic and yeah i really do think it s like rain on your wedding day it s a free ride when you ve already paid it s the good advice that you just didn t take and who would ve thought it figures life has a funny way of sneaking up on you life has a funny funny way helping you out helping you out