i imagine this is how it feels to die to want nothing more than to close your eyes but what s yearning without tossing and turning and what s it feel like to realize a dream and not be haunted by its recurring i shouldn t ponder after things i m not prepared for i should maintain this low standard and just be careful things are bad enough as is where the only problem is myself but right now i m ready to collapse under the weight of someone else i know there s distance but most of it is on my end i m unstable i need something more permanent i shouldn t ponder after things i know i m not prepared for i should maintain this low standard and just be careful i feel detached i fear i m boring but maybe when i get back we ll go exploring