alright here we go good morning dearly beloved we are gathered here today to watch two people we know make a big mistake they ll stand up at the alter and solemnly swear i do they ll be together forever til they find somebody new her daddy s in the front row muttering oh no here we go again they had a couple dates now she s three months late and it s twenty bucks a plate i spent oh good morning dearly beloved i d like to welcome ya ll to see the side effects of sex and alcohol please bow your heads and join me in a prayer for these two who ll be together forever til they find somebody new alright the bride is a flirt and the groom is worse as he s putting the ring on her he s checking out the bridesmaids thinking that he might take the maid of honor s honor oh welcome dearly beloved we are here this afternoon to throw rice as these two drive down the road to ruin with cans tied to the bumper and a draggin muffler too they ll be together forever til they find somebody new  so raise your glass and join me here s to the bride and groom they ll be together forever til they find somebody new ya ll come back ya hear now thanks dad hahaha