yesterday i was working in my yard when i saw a possum swinging in the foothills and he was old and beat up and hobbling i got a closer look and his foot was mangled i was woken up earlier by what i thought was a cat tangle but it was him who got it bad from the cat that night he moved slowly down the hill when he slipped under the fence i propped myself up to check him out and he found nook under the air conditioner i pointed him out to caroline and she crouched down and he was shaking and full of fear and when she stood up i asked baby why are you crying she said because he s cute and he s down there and he s dying i went up to my room and i got a call from justin he was in san francisco and godflesh was playing caroline drove me halfway there where i met tony and we drove to the city and we parked out in front of the dna justin and us we had some laughs and we took photographs backstage and our guts were protruding in all of them and we just kept laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and when godflesh took the stage tony and i we stood there floored drum machines hammered and feedback blazed and for a moment everybody grew silent while justin tuned his guitar like a church it got so quiet just for a minute and then they all soared together like a car off a cliff they crashed and burned over and over and again and again they threw hard vicious guttural b flats that shook their opponent like a tough roberto hands of stone durn seventh round davey moore june 16 1983 godflesh shook the ramp that night like an early mark gator rogowski justin lunged at the mic like a hungry great white he was on fire giving everything he had and killing it that night tearing at his prey and then it came to a screeching halt a relentless and beautiful and glorious 70 minute assault and then he bowed down and set his seven string electric guitar down and it screeched to holy hell and they disappeared and off went the crowd then we had pizza and i came back to my apartment in the city until 4am i watched movies and my ears were ringing and i called caroline out at the house and we talked about the concert and about the possum down in the nook and the ocean air came through my window and the sound of foghorns and then when i awoke godflesh was down in la and tony had an open house that day and i looked out at sausalito and caroline was on her way back from lake tahoe i got a call from paolo sorrentino i d be off to switzerland in a week or so caroline came home that night and we had dinner and watched hbo and i m grateful for her love and for my friends and to have seen the possum walk its last walk among the ivy i want to grow old and to walk the last walk knowing that i too gave it everything i got against all roadblocks and obstacles i fought for to live another day is much better than to not and i d like to die with music in my ears the piano of maurice ravel or godflesh s guttural growls from hell the sound that evokes good memories of being young and able to get around and i d like caroline beside me that old possum lost the fight his sad black eyes what a thing to see on a glowing easter sunday but that rodent was loved and he s still thought of and church bells rang that day i remember hearing them in the afternoon just as we left he had to have heard them too8