this is gonna be the greatest night inviting our friends and were doing it right well host the best parties itll be so cool wanna party with us you better follow the rules when you plan a party man you gotta be smart duct tape your fridge and hide the fragiles at the start take a look so your facebook invite is on point cause you dont want douchey dudes all rude in the joint slip off your shoes when you slide in the door cause we dont want dog poo all over the floor and you better bring your own beer cause were not freakin rich just look at our chair its made of popsicle sticks this is gonna be the greatest night we replaced all the booze with diet sprite make sure all the dudes are peeing sitting down no need for pee stains all over the ground now the partys poppin gotta get more strict what the hell did we say dude no dicks beer pongs for flippin fools that ball is frickin dirty youll die from meningitis way before youre even thirty whos that creeper creepin in the corner with fido get away from fido you freaky albino only use one square of tp cause we aint made of cash just look at our stripper she has a flat ass this is gonna be the greatest night no spills on the rug everybodys polite kicking everyone out of our house by 10 if this party goes well we might do it again  people still partying man its 10 13 get the fuck out my house if you know what i mean stop banging on my bed and dont jack my socks gotta rise at five serve fries at jack in the box who got the pesto on my remote control my rage meters rising and about to reach full and who the fuck threw this garbage in the recycling bin im gonna kill you motherfuckers if you do it again parties arent the place to drink booze and get laid if at the end we gotta clean up and be maids parties arent the place for taking selfies thats dumb if you wanted that you shouldve thrown your own one parties arent the place where we spend a lot of money cant afford a doctor and my stools are hecka bloody whaaaa this totally was the greatest night in bed by 10 30 and turned out the lights called the cops on the party beat the women and men cant wait to have another bomb ass party again 