i was playing clark kent on a park bench observin those passin hidden from society behind some dark sunglasses when a man stepped up looking grizzled and disturbed can i borrow a dollar for water man it s fucking hot and i said sir why should i give you change to eat when i m 40 000 dollars in debt you re only broken even he said son i lost more in a night that you can ever hope to achieve in your entire life i lost my wife lost my love i lost my will to live i lost my daughter and a son and now i ve never seen their kids and i m sorry to vent i don t mean you any trouble but for eight long years i watched my wife s skin bubble as the cancer made her thin and redder than a setting sun no matter the treatment it seems like nothing was getting done she headed from a strong woman into some doctor tell her if she has relatives they better come that s when my life took a faithful twist jack daniels placed his kiss on my ungraitful lips consumed by the poison till i lost my place to live in my pursuit of pass enjoyment i use drinks to chase it with now i m a common bum that no one cares to notice lack of morals lack of focus with an outlook labeled hopeless and i rome the city homeless with no shelter from the weather to tell you the truth i m happier now than ever sure i panhandle every single meal i eat but my soul gets fed from stories of the people that i meet and i keep my hopes high thinking life might take a new turn cuz i learned that living from the past ain t gonna help the future and my eyes openend wider that day than ever and i finally saw the fine line between pain and pleasure and i ve never felt quite so exposes when i noticed the path you chose can change it any moment i was in my dirty diner you know my usual spot trying to fill a blank page with the beautiful thought the air was muggy and stale and room was so hot that i kept wiping my brow to remove all the drops when a lovely young lady walked right through the door and i swore i recognized must have met her before wearing a sun dress and sandals with an elegant pushing a baby stroller blanket dangling on the floor now this girl looked familiar far to young to be a mother thought i asked her who s she babysitting flirt and get her number when she stumbled by with bright eyes and immediately knew me like oh my god lee it s me brian s sister susy now brian was a kid i used to chill with on occasion half black and half asian mom s on permanent vacation his pops was always gone steady working two jobs to busy just tryn to feed his kids to find a new mom but movin on i said susy how you doing how you ve been it s been so long since i last saw you you look different who s the kid and she grinned as if she held a secret that i needed and said let me introduce you to my baby daughter eden my heart was beaten she said what like you don t know me i was drinking by eleven snorting blow by fourteen made made decisions due the lack of supervision including dating older men who fucked with younger women i lived through pain and heartbreak but then eating came the last of my quote on quote mistakes and sometimes i hate the fact my ties of childhood are severed to tell you the truth i m happier now than ever i was on a downwards headed for an early death but now i hear the meaning in my daughters every breath and i ve left my old ways behind and never minded leaving cause i ve learned sometimes mistakes are what help you find the meaning 1