take this cause you re going to need it just to fall asleep on this most boring cruise the beaches are frozen and the islands are empty and the only ones left are the captain and crew of her majesty s midwestern islands don t usually dance with the cooks and the wait staff but here i am on her majesty s midwestern islands so pull up a chair and get you some action there s a man over there who will gamble you down to the clothes off your back at the end of the week he comes collecting and the only way off this boat is to hit the road take the stray dog highway to the county courthouse oh take me home i want to go home river is rising there s no time to argue all hands on deck someone left the phonograph on surely it will get wet and all of my records will be destroyed i ll write them a letter care of her majesty s midwestern islands on her majesty s midwestern islands on her majesty s midwestern islands the budget s quite tight there s not a dime to spare on her majesty s midwestern islands