i like the powder blue dresses the stewardesses wear on korean air the skin s divine and their bodies so fine they re all the same height and they have the same waistline but there is one who stood apart her name tag read j h park she had a white watch and a muted spark and i thought about her when the night grew dark and my hotel room in tokyo and by the time that i awoke my guitar was broken and in need of repair thanks for the hassle korean air but i hurled myself through one last show and i made a few friends shoko and koko walked them down to the train station below hugged them goodbye and as i walked back i remembered a girl who i had lost she grew up in a cardboard box in a town called dharma she shook my spirit and she rattled my thoughts but i had some love back home so i never pursued it or called her telephone number i wonder if she knew that i had reason i wonder if she thought that i had used her and by the time that i awoke around my neck i felt fingers choke i felt a jolt of an electrical sting i felt the pull of an invisible string is it my future falling or is it the past still calling i can t remember and you can t make me remember anything that hurts or makes me shiver i can t remember and you can t make me remember my dirty reflection shimmering in the rain i can t remember and you can t make me remember old forgotten blues that we opened my house i can t remember and you can t make me remember i can t remember and you can t make me remember was five years old the last time i slept a quiet night before the loudness crept i wrote poetry throughout my teens and i far exceeded my childhood dreams teachers told me i couldn t write that i d never make a living or touch anyone s life people told me i couldn t sing that i wouldn t amount to much of anything and by the time that i awoke i was 25 years old and crossing oceans working hard to develop my sound going city to city covering ground and by the time that i had awoke i was one of a handful of the chosen to take the punches to take the arrows to bleed the blood the blood of sweat i can t remember and you can t make me remember any hurtful words that i endured i can t remember and you can t make me remember when i was a lost flockless bird i can t remember and you can t make me remember when i couldn t trap bumblebees i can t remember and you can t make me remember why in a crowd i am so lonely i met the most beautiful lover walking along the san francisco bay she guides me through the perils through the long unlit hallways below the surface beneath the distractions beneath my dumb knee jerk reactions it s to her i owe everything it is for her that my heart sings and by the time that i awoke the fingers loosened on their choke and by the time that i awoke