i opened a bank account when i was nine years old i closed it when i was eighteen i gave them every penny that i d saved and they gave my blood and my urine a number now i m sitting in this waiting room playing with the toys and i am here to exercise my freedom of choice i passed their handheld signs went through their picket lines they gathered when they saw me coming they shouted when they saw me cross i said why don t you go home just leave me alone i m just another woman lost you are like fish in the water who don t know that they are wet as far as i can tell the world isn t perfect yet his bored eyes were obscene on his denim thighs a magazine i wish he d never come here with me in fact i wish he d never come near me i wish his shoulder wasn t touching mine i am growing older waiting in this line some of life s best lessons are learned at the worst times under the fierce fluorescent she offered her hand for me to hold she offered stability and calm and i was crushing her palm through the pinch pull wincing my smile unconvincing on that sterile battlefield that sees only casualties never heroes my heart hit absolute zero lucille your voice still sounds in me mine was a relatively easy tragedy now the profile of our country looks a little less hard nosed but that picket line persisted and that clinic s since been closed they keep pounding their fists on reality hoping it will break but i don t think there s a one of them leads a life free of mistakes