I did stuff like you did for my family and general community around me. My Christian faith was what kept me from needing a lot of mental help. People forget how often those in law enforcment need years off from seeing evil. We cannot forget each one of us need time to not focus on the darkness to intensly. You need hope, joy and life as well.,(reply>), People underestimate how beneficial it is to believe in the Lord 🙏 I hope you find him UE if you don't know him already!