He seems like a decent guy. But it’s all opinion and guess work.,(reply>), @Suleman Omar thank you so much. I appreciate you 👍,(reply>), @Elliott Hyde Thank you for giving care to my sincere encouragement to yourself. <br>That's great, definitely stay curious and talk with any muslim you come across, I'm sure they will be happy to talk with you just as I was, even try find your local mosque and talk with the imam and if you want to speak with me anymore just let me know :),(reply>), @seeker_of_knowlage thank you. I appreciate your words. They have helped me. <br>Your good people. Thank you,(reply>), @Suleman Omar thank you so much for taking the time to write at length. It was very comforting and I appreciate your time. I will listen to more for sure. I also had a really nice conversation with a Muslim taxi driver last night again it was very comforting as he stated similar to you as I remember. <br>So thank you again and take care. ❤️,(reply>), @Elliott Hyde Sorry for the late reply, i was working.<br><br>Firstly its great that you ponder, this is what Allah asks us, as creation," to do. To ponder over His book and his creation of the universe.<br><a href=""https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKCNUqbpH0&amp;t=38m29s"">38:29</a> "˹This is˺ a blessed Book which We have revealed to you ˹O Prophet˺ so that they may contemplate its verses", and people of reason may be mindful."<br><br>The great thing as to why I am a muslim, and many people are is because this religion doesn't require mental gymnastics. To accept the main pillars of this religion such as there is 1 all powerful God and there is nothing like Him and he sent messengers and there will be a day of judgment is enough for someone to be distinguished as a muslim. The tenants of belief go in line with the human logic so it is easy to digest because you don't have to fight your logic in order to understand or accept it.<br><br>As far as previous sins go, there is no sin in the eyes of Allah that is too big for Him not to forgive. It's great you feel shameful for stealing but this is not something Allah cannot overlook.<br><br>Narrated that ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: When Allah put Islam in my heart, I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: “Give me your right hand so that I may swear allegiance to you.” He held out his hand and I withdrew my hand. He said, “What is the matter, O ‘Amr?” I said, “I want to stipulate a condition.” He said, “What do you want to stipulate?” I said, “That I will be forgiven.” He said, “Do you not know that Islam destroys that which came before it?” <br>Graded: Authentic (Sahih Muslim 121).<br><br>Also it's great that you make excuses for your father even if he was abusive, I'm sure he may have done some wrong to you, and you are entitled to feel some type of way, but forgiveness is equivalent to the upper hand which was mentioned in this podcast, so if you could find any excuse to forgive your dad, it would be a means of forgiveness for you from your Lord and a step towards piety.<br><br>Also you have not failed the test of life as you are quite right, this life is a test as Allah explains to us:<br>67:2 ˹He is the One˺ Who created death and life in order to test which of you is best in deeds. And He is the Almighty, All-Forgiving.<br><br>But you can only fail when you take your last breath and still failed to recognise the oneness of God, so as long as you are alive, you have opportunity. <br><br>As far as heaven goes," Allah describes it to us as in multiple places in the Quran such as <a href=""https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKCNUqbpH0&amp;t=13m22s"">13:22</a>-24:<br>"And ˹they are˺ those who endure patiently", seeking their Lord’s pleasure, establish prayer, donate from what We have provided for them—secretly and openly—and respond to evil with good. It is they who will have the ultimate abode: the Gardens of Eternity, which they will enter along with the righteous among their parents, spouses, and descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, ˹saying,˺ “Peace be upon you for your perseverance. How excellent is the ultimate abode!”<br><br>This is a place where you will enjoy anything your heart desires and if you wish to be reunited with your pets, than that is what you will get, but just as anything thats worth attaining in this life, you must strive for, the same is with the afterlife and the pleasure of God.<br><br>We must strive against our own lowly self whom the Satan wants us to follow so we can be misguided as he is, as they say 'misery loves company', but Allah knows we will stumble throughout life and thats why His doors of repentance are never closed.<br><br>Some of the later converts to Islam near the end of the prophet PBUH's life were sworn enemies and killed close family members of the prophet Muhammed, to the extent they thought coming to the prophet Muhammed PBUH and asking to be allowed to enter Islam, they would be rejected, but that was not the case because as mentioned, once you enter Islam the sins of before are erased and it's as if you are a new baby being born.<br><br>As far as re-watching this podcast, you don't have to as their is a great amount of islamic content across YouTube, you can search Omar Suleiman and look for other lectures he's given or even look into other speakers that I could recommend such as Hamza Yusuf .<br><br>Hope this was helpful and the 1 key component that is central to Islam is sincerity, so if I could advice you in regards to 1 key thing to approach anything in, including islam and religion, it is sincerity and good intention.<br><br>Hope this was helpful and wish you the best and wish guidance to Good and Peace for you and myself.