it's better to be racked with guilt because you know you've made so many blunders because you had to do something than to be in constant denial or in persistent ignorance from rationalizing your role away or not caring enough...  i've had heroic friends who cared so much only to find later in life they don't care or want to care at all.  i hope no on here is on the path of the latter.  btw, great inquisition.  tomorrow ve drill a little deeper.