bob vesterman s plan to generate fan interest the owners are whining about baseball not being popular among a large enough portion of the population and have suggested various remedies such as shortening the game or trying to convince us that smoke embake emdominatebysheerintimidation is an accurate description of what is essentially a laid back game forget those lame ideas here is my new and exciting two point plan to generate interest in baseball among the masses point one sex point two violence let s face it sex and violence are the only things that sell in america here s how we can implement them in the game sex cheerleaders cheerleaders and more cheerleaders dancing on top of the dugouts bringing hot dogs to the umps during the seventh inning stretch running up and down the stands the south bend white sox actually do this violence baseball players are such utter wuss boys the pitcher beans the batter and both benches empty in what is called a bench clearing brawl everybody just stands there and looks at each other stand stand stand look look look ho hum then the bullpens come running in when they reach the fight they just stand there too anybody coming off the bench who does not throw at least one punch should be suspended and fined further the bullpens should fight it out in the outfield so as not to waste time and energy running to the infield football sex violence basketball sex violence hockey violence baseball da pastime of da nayshun yawn bob vesterman
