re when are two people married in god s eyes in article apr geneva rutgers edu rob ll mit edu writes i think it was lewis who said that in a wedding it s the principals that marry each other the church and the state are present merely as witnesses this is not just lewis it s a summary of standard catholic theology however this doesn t mean that the presence of those witnesses is optional except in odd situations like the standard desert island clh i originally wrote to the person who asked this question personally but decided to post the information i had on the topic i spoke to the pastor of my parish catholic recently by coincidence on this subject his explaination was that while it is possible for a couple to marry without the presence of a priest it is important to have it recognized by the church as soon as it is possible because the church recoginizes itself as a community of believers members of the church to some degree are to be held accountable to each other to be less hypothetical than that mythical couple on the desert island there are many places in the world that do not have priests availible for marriages on a regular basis therefore couples get married without the priest being present but get the priest to testify to their marriage when one comes through the area i remember a religion teacher in high school saying that the marriage ceremony is not for the benefit of the couple as much as it is for the benefit of the community thus married couples have some responsibility to the community to stay married as divorce sets a bad example for the community also the couple has vowed to become one with one another the community should be able to rely on that couple to be as one while couples may marry without witnesses they may not get anulments without a priest present an anulment is simply an admission of the church that what they had declared a marriage was not in fact a marriage at all for whatever reason so don t start getting married in the back seat of a station wagon and giving yourselves anulments a half hour later i tend to agree with the response back there that said couples become married as soon as they consumate their marriage but i would add that couples should consider their marriage consumated if they have sex whether or not they intended to be married assuming they were both willing partners to the sexual act the couple must be prepared to raise any children they may have as a result of that sexual act with the benefit of both parents sex is a commitment i believe in god s eyes but i m digressing god be with you malcusco
