Recent studies have asserted that self-reported learning gains (SRLG) are valid measures of learning, because gains in specific content areas vary across academic disciplines as theoretically predicted. In contrast, other studies find no relationship between actual and self-reported gains in learning, calling into question the validity of SRLG. I reconcile these two divergent sets of literature by proposing a theory of college student survey response that relies on the belief-sampling model of attitude formation. This theoretical approach demonstrates how students can easily construct answers to SRLG questions that will result in theoretically consistent differences in gains across academic majors, while at the same time lacking the cognitive ability to accurately report their actual learning gains. Four predictions from the theory are tested, using data from the 2006–2009 Wabash National Study. Contrary to previous research, I find little evidence as to the construct and criterion validity of SRLG questions.