Neville Southall's anti-Tory, pro-skeleton Twitter account is the best thing on social media
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"I love the thought of recycled skeletons,
"Imagine walking down your street and all you dead relatives were lampposts,
"Brilliant."
No, that's not a demented haiku that's been mangled through Google Translate, but one of the increasingly bizarre-but-brilliant 140-character missives that former Everton and Wales goalkeeper Neville Southall has been sending out of his Twitter account recently.
For the sake of our younger readers, Southall was one of the finest goalkeepers of his generation. He won two league titles, a pair of FA Cups and a European Cup Winners' Cup on his way to becoming Wales' most capped player.
(Image: Hulton Archive)
And now he's the most entertaining ex-pro on Twitter.
The Toffees legend was a fairly early adopter of the social network, signing up in March 2011 and used the platform to retweet a number of charitable causes, such as dog shelters and the like, which he gets a hat tip for.
But earlier this week he started tweeting about skeletons and that's when things got gloriously weird.
Seemingly inspired by Theresa May's dismal attempts at running the country (Big Nev was an ardent supporter of Jeremy Corbyn at the last election), Southall has fired off a series of darkly satirical skeleton-inspired tweets taking aim at the hapless Tory goverment.
(Image: Liverpool Echo)
"2 skeletons in A & E one said to other won't be long now. MAYS Britain," goes one.
"2 skeletons sat in job centre one said to other what’s a job," is another.
"2 skeletons surrounded by terrorists. One says to other what police cuts," he continues.
So far, so surreal. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if the concept of Neville Southall is purely one invented by Chris Morris for an upcoming project.
Away from his political musings, he's also been getting proper weird, pondering life where the bones of your dead relatives are made into lampposts (see above) or chairs...
... and what it would be like if skeletons lined the streets, holding up street signs...
... or making motorbikes out of skeletons.
No, I've no idea either.
So, that's raising awareness for good causes, dark surrealist humour, plus attacking Theresa May and the Tory government's failing austerity policies.
He sure gets our vote.
Never change, Neville...