Crazy things men think about at the altar before getting married
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Marriage is quite a big deal to a lot of people. Not the Ross and Rachel in Vegas kind. Proper weddings, with flowers and buffets.
Obviously, there are nerves on the big day. You're about to take the plunge and commit to a lifetime of love and box sets. It's only natural.
Men think some obscure, amusing, and beautiful things while impatiently waiting for their bride to walk down the aisle. Grooms have been sharing on Reddit some of their thoughts up there by the altar, or registry office desk.
Here are some of the best
(Image: iStockphoto)
The duck tape incident – Hillbilly_Heaven
"Why does he have duck tape on his face and blood on his suit?
"I few minutes earlier just before the ceremony began a friend had jokingly tripped me. It backfired as I fell and smashed my face on a beer bottle on a table and made a huge gash running from my temple to my jaw.
"I didn't want to ruin the wedding so they just stuffed my face with napkins and covered it with duck tape (thats what it was called at the time). The blood I just left on my suit.
"When she [bride] asked me what happened I said 's***'. Before she could respond the ceremony begun.
"46 years later I still have a scar on the side of my face and 46 years later we are still married and 46 years later I still give my friend s*** about it."
Sunshine – reallydfun
"Thank goodness the sun came out 5 minutes ago or she gonna be MAD."
(Image: The Image Bank)
Money worries – b***sniffingroach
"I was pretty upset about how much we had spent on the wedding. (I don't believe in fancy weddings, but it was her dream so I went with it..plus...happy wife happy life, right?)
"As soon as I saw her walking down the aisle I thought, 'I could have paid 30 times over the amount to live this moment over and over again'."
"Keep your s*** together" -smartnotclever
"I failed, by the way - totally bawled through the vows.
"Tears of happiness, of course - still going strong 14 years later."
Who is that? – WakaPlayer2
"I know way too many people here right now that I didn’t know last year, who the f*** are you all?"
(Image: Getty)
Quite nice really – Braxistextremist
"Damn, I can't believe someone this gorgeous wants to marry me!"
Please calm down - Lavyn
"Oh my god.......she's more beautiful in this moment that I’ve ever seen her. You're not breathing. You're not breathing. You still aren't breathing.
"Ouch, f***, why does my chest hurt? Holy s***, there's a huge lump in my throat. Is that why I can't breathe?? Oh man here she comes.
"S*** is getting blurry.....JUST. BREATHE!"
Exciting – A3rdAcct
"'I'm getting laid tonight!' So, we both waited for marriage to have sex."
(Image: Getty)
Joking – chicken_salad
"I was trying to think up a dirty joke to whisper that would make her crack up in the middle of the ceremony."
Practice makes perfect - Jatrap
"We should have really come to rehearsal. I am way off cue."
And... this – Coastie071
"Goddamn she looks good, don't cry bro, don't cry, deep breaths... And for God's sake hide your erection!"
This article first appeared in March 2017.