How to sex up your love life on holiday by expert Tracey Cox
Ahh, holidays!
No boss, no commute, no annoying work mates and no chores. Time to relax, have fun, sunbathe, explore, eat and drink yourselves silly and….have lots of lovely sex.
It’s a rare couple who don’t have better and more frequent sex on holidays because being away ticks a lot of ‘can do’ boxes.
You’ve got more time, usually kid free as they’re looked after or otherwise amused, there’s less stress and no neighbours so you can let loose without fear of being overheard.
Sex expert Tracey Cox reveals the VERY saucy new moves to try with your partner while on holiday
All of this means you can try out a number of sex moves you wouldn’t or couldn’t at home.
Here’s how to make the most of….
More time: Instead of a rushed quickie - squeezed into the five minute window you have when the baby’s asleep/the kids are watching telly/your flatmates are out/you have time to have sex – you finally have time to relax and take your time with lovemaking.
Break sex into bite size pieces: Have a little bit of sex, often and frequently, to keep both of you feeling hot and bothered all day long, rather than satisfy yourselves in one session.
She gets two minute-long bouts of oral sex (broken by you kissing her breasts). He gets two minute-long bouts of fellatio (broken by you kissing his neck). Don’t remove all your clothes, just pull knickers aside and his jeans to his knees.
Try a new style of massage: By all means, both book for massages of the usual kind – but when you’re done, meet back in the room for something a little more erotic. Genital massage has been around for thousands of years and all you’ll need is some lube or an unscented massage oil that’s safe to use on the genitals.
Put your partner in a position where you can easily access the bits you need to, then take your time giving them pleasure.
Tracey says rather than a rushed quickie, you can take the time to relax and enjoy life in the bedroom as there are far less distractions
THE BASICS FOR HIM
Try ‘spiralling the stalk’ Hold the base of the penis with one hand and take a firm grip of it with your other.
Start at the bottom And slide to the top using a circular, twisting motion with each hand (moving back and forth, first one way then the other, both moving in different directions) as you wind towards the head.
Only work upward When you get to the head of the penis, use the palm of your hand to caress the entire surface.
THE BASICS FOR HER
Make her melt with ‘rock around the clock’ Imagine a clock dial surrounding the vulva, the top (near her pubic hair – or where it was) being the 12’o’clock position and the lowest point (near the vaginal opening) being 6’o’clock.
As you’re stimulating her, get her to tell you where it feels best by telling the time (3’o’clock, 9’o’clock etc).
Using the tip of your finger Move around the clitoris in a circular motion.
Using bigger circles Continue the circular motion down the entire length of the vulva, alternating with stroking, teasing, caresses with your fingertips.
Tracey, pictured, offers an easy-to-follow guide for holiday sex
Now move back to the clitoris Circle directly over it with a fingertip. Some women don’t like direct clitoral stimulation, so check with her which feels best, using the ‘clock’ as a guide. But if she does, again work from small to large circles, some focused, some travelling the full length.
Try ‘pulling’ Get the clitoris between two fingers. It’s not actually possible to get a grip on it, but the pulling motion feels fabulous.
No kids: My friends with children frequently say it’s like their kids can sense an erection happening immediately – and come looking to see what’s going on.
If you’re on holidays with them, you’ll probably have chosen a resort that has child-minding facilities (or, sensibly, brought your Mum or Dad to do the honours or left them at home to enjoy their grandparents while the two of you get to enjoy each other).
This is the time to try sex with props that you’d be humiliated to be caught with: role-play outfits, whips, tie-up gear. Pack them all, put the do not disturb sign on the door when you get there and play without fear of discovery.
Try a tie-up game: Although 89% of women choose the submissive role in a bondage situation, those who dare to be dominant find the power of being boss, in a world often dominated by men, a potent aphrodisiac.
Either are a turn on: If you’re ‘forced’ to give in, it handily removes any sexual guilt; being in the power position, you get the enormous kick of having someone completely at your sexual mercy.
It’s all somehow spectacularly politically incorrect, which is why we all love it so much!
Having your partner tied up also means you’ll tend to try new things in bed, straying away from your predictable loving-making path. It’s this unpredictability that is perhaps the biggest turn-on of all for long-term couples.
Add a blindfold if you want to ramp the thrill of anticipation skyward: you don’t know what or where your partner is going to touch, lick, suck or bite, so stay in a perpetual state of excitement.
Use handcuffs, a scarf, old stockings or a bondage kit to tie their wrists or ankles together or apart.
Then do one of three things: put on a show for them, leaving them powerless to do anything but watch; do wicked things to them or force them to do wicked things to you.
First, whisper all the things you’re planning on doing seductively in their ears, then go for it!
Or a spot of slap and tickle: The number of couples who incorporated spanking into their sex sessions soared when Fifty Shades exploded onto the market – and many kept it on their ‘treat list’.
If you’re already devotees, your whip, crop or paddle will be the first thing packed in your suitcase, in anticipation of time without fear of inquisitive children bursting in with ‘Why are you hurting Mummy, Daddy?”.
The sex expert says that your holiday is the time to try sex with props that you’d be humiliated to be caught with (file photo)
If it’s your first time, it really is worth investing in a soft whip before you leave – one with lots of soft leather pieces.
Soft whips look menacing but aren’t too painful and are great for role-play, so even if you both decide spanking isn’t for you, you’ll use it as a sex prop anyway.
Start the session by running your fingers lightly over your partner’s buttocks, then cup your hand, keeping your fingers together and spank in a slightly upward motion.
This feels better than a downward stroke: keep your wrist flexible to begin with, too.
Spank lightly, then massage the area for a few seconds, then time the spanks to arrive no later than three to five seconds apart, holding your hand still on the area for a few seconds in between, or moving to caress elsewhere now and then.
No inhibitions: Holidays are for drinking and usually lots of it.
Your liver won’t thank you but your sex life probably will.
Alcohol is an aphrodisiac for most of us and being slightly tiddly at a completely inappropriate time of the day sets the scene nicely for hedonism and pushing boundaries.
(If you don’t drink, sip on fizzy water but order chocolate or something else so you’re on the same wickedness level.)
Drinks or no drinks, we’re more relaxed on holidays, making it the ideal time to try something you’d usually be too shy to.
Role-play while it’s doable: Some couples love role-play, others would rather stick pins in their eyes because of the embarrassment factor of potentially making a right fool of yourself.
Add alcohol and/or the inherent naughtiness of a hotel room (everyone wants to have sex in a hotel room) and suddenly you’re both up for things you aren’t normally.
Role-playing a fantasy is one way to get the kick of it – without any of the malevolent misfires you might experience by taking them through to real life.
Some of the most popular role-play themes include deflowering a ‘virgin’ (men, particularly, like playing the virgin, after a lifetime of being the sexual predator), playing a sex slave (having someone under our command has obvious benefits like not having to worry about the ‘no, you first darling’ niceties of sex) or having a threesome (here’s where your sex toys come into play – and of course you packed them in the suitcase that went in the hold rather than your hand luggage, right?).
As with every game, following a few basic guidelines will make everything run smoothly.
Try to choose fantasies that appeal to both of you, work out the scenario together beforehand (it can be as much of a turn-on as acting it out), be specific about how in character you want each other to be (for some people, slipping back into your usual selves, even for a minute, destroys the illusion) and don’t worry if you laugh (just keep going – lust usually overtakes the laughter once you start getting into it.)
Watch erotica interruption-free: You’ll already have a strong opinion about watching porn – either solo or together as a couple – but it can (and does) introduce much-needed variety into many a long-term couple’s sex life.
Some people have moral issues with porn, which is fair enough (though there is such a thing as ethical porn, try Erika Lust or Cindy Gallop’s Make Love Not Porn); or download some erotic movies instead (try an old classic like Nine and a Half Weeks or The Secretary.)
If you both love porn, go for it, without fear of being interrupted by the kids, your neighbours, your Mum or flatmates.
Want more saucy sex tips? Visit traceycox.com and you’ll find loads, as well as Tracey’s product ranges and books.