Britain's Got Talent comic Noel James harrowing story: "Mum's death left me mentally ill"
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His jokes are simple enough for kids, clever enough for adults, and put a big grin on Simon Cowell’s deadpan face.
At his Britain’s Got Talent audition, Noel James had the audience roaring with his rapid one-liners, self deprecating chat… and a genius shark impression.
Hearing their laughter, and seeing the standing ovation, worked as therapy for the comic – who for decades has battled a myriad of mental health conditions including severe hypochondria.
He has at times reached such depths that his girlfriend feared the pressure of the audition would be too much.
But he went ahead – with an act in which he is refreshingly open about his emotional problems.
It is a heavy subject, but one the Welsh comedian constantly lifts with humour.
Noel, 52, says: “Since I was a teenager I’ve had so many spells of melancholy. I tried meditation and yoga. I did so much yoga I hoped to one day become a yoghurt.”
His difficult teen years got worse for Noel with the sudden death of mum Val, 61, when he was 20.
He reveals: “One morning at uni I had a really strange, mysterious dream.
“It was like a vision of peace – I saw my mum walking to a chapel on the hill which she used to attend. I woke with a really lovely feeling of calm. Later that day I got the call that Mum had died.”
(Image: REX/Shutterstock)
The popular piano teacher died of achalasia, a condition in which the tube carrying food to your stomach does not function properly. Losing her changed the direction of Noel’s life.
He says: “I was at Manchester University studying physics to make my mum proud, and I’d probably have done something more sensible with my career and returned to live close to home in Swansea had she been alive.
“But when she was gone I thought, what’s the point? Without her warmth, home seemed colder.
“I had an empty feeling, anger against the world, a sense of life being so short.
“So I moved to London to follow my love of comedy.
“I still think of my mother every day – it’s taken a long time to come to terms with losing her. I didn’t realise how close we were until she’d gone.”
Since then, Noel has taken medication for depression and anxiety, and endured spells of hypochondria. The eldest of two brothers, he lost his dad five years ago.
“Last year I became convinced my shyness, constant worrying and obsession with wordplay meant I was autistic,” he says.
“My GP sent me for tests.
“After 50 minutes with a consultant they concluded I wasn’t autistic and decided not to send me for any more tests. I wasn’t happy with that.
“So I paid for a private MRI scan last year, thinking there must be something wrong with my brain. But the tests were clear.”
It took huge courage for Noel to step on to the BGT stage – two years ago he had walked away from the audition queue in Cardiff suffering anxiety.
But he gave it one last shot, deciding if he got the buzzer he would quit comedy and move abroad to teach.
Noel says: “The fact the auditions were in Blackpool helped. I’ve done lots of gigs in Blackpool and they’re always lovely audiences – so I didn’t feel so much ‘pier’ pressure.”
Fellow comics Tim Vine and Dylan Moran are huge fans of Noel. And from the moment he stepped on stage he had the BGT audience firmly on side.
When Simon asked if he had anyone with him, he replied: “Unfortunately my girlfriend couldn’t make it. Because she doesn’t exist.”
In reality, girlfriend Eleri, a civil servant, has been at his side for eight years.
He says: “Eleri didn’t want me to do the show, she knew I might struggle to bounce back from being buzzed off.
“So we aren’t talking much about Britain’s Got Talent because I want to keep my feet on the ground.
“If there’s any chance of winning the £250,000 prize, I’d give half to Eleri – she’s supported me for so long. I’ve been quite literally living on my wits.
“With the rest of the money? Well, we need a new boiler.”
(Image: REX/Shutterstock)
Noel told the judges about his between-gigs job as an exam invigilator. Strangers have quizzed him ever since about his unusual job.
He says: “People keep asking what it’s like as an invigilator. I say, ‘Shhh!’.”
Bookings for his standup shows are already on the rise and Noel now has no plans to give up his act.
Seeing comedy star David Walliams, along with Simon, Alesha Dixon and Amanda Holden, all rise to their feet at the end of his audition felt like a vindication of his years on the circuit.
Noel says: “David said I should be a household name. So after the audition I changed my name by deed poll to Dulux. Now I can paint the town any colour I like.”
For now, Noel is busy practising his next routine for the semi-final – and in the meantime feels elated to have made it this far.
He says: “My next performance will be at the Apollo. I’ll feel like I’ve flown to the moon.”
See Noel in tonight’s live BGT semi-final on ITV at 7.30pm.
He is joined by dance troupe DVJ, dad-and-son singing duo Tim and Jack Good­acre – one of the favourites – along with rola-bola performer Sascha Williams, singer Amy Marie Borg, freaky dancers Baba Yega, musician Olena Uutai, and comedian Marty Putz.