The top 25 TV comedy put downs have been revealed
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Unless you are on the receiving end, a put-down can be deliciously funny.
Whether it’s a back-handed compliment or full-blown tongue lashing, humour can be a potent weapon when firing off jibes.
Now, a classic quip by the late Caroline Aherne’s Mrs Merton has been named the greatest put-down from a British TV comedy show.
Talking to Debbie McGee about her husband, before his death last year, she asked: “But what first, Debbie, attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”
UKTV Play’s survey of 2,000 people put Del Boy and Blackadder second and third as cutting comedy characters.
And 80% said humour is more important than aggression for a perfect put-down.
Here we share the top 25.
Top 25 put downs from British TV shows
1. “But what first, Debbie, attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”
Mrs Merton to Debbie McGee (The Mrs Merton Show)
(Photo: Rex Features)
2. “Dear old grandad, bless him. He was about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear”
Del Boy ( Only Fools and Horses )
3. “Your brain, for example, is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit.”
Edmund Blackadder ( Blackadder )
4. “You stupid boy!”
Captain Mainwaring ( Dad’s Army )
(Photo: BBC)
5. “Oh dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your éclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn’t have time to perm your ears?”
Basil Fawlty (Fawlty Towers)
(Photo: BBC)
6. “I told her the only thing she looked good in was a body bag”
Patsy Stone ( Absolutely Fabulous )
7. “Look at grandad. His brain went years ago, now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left!”
Del Boy ( Only Fools and Horses )
(Photo: BBC)
8. “Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street”
Sherlock Holmes ( Sherlock )
9. “Dougal, is there anything on your mind? Let me rephrase that…”
Father Ted (Father Ted)
(Photo: E4)
10. “He’s the most sensitive person I’ve ever met, and that’s why I love him and why I constantly want to ram his head through a television screen.”
Margaret Meldrew (One Foot in the Grave)
11. “The eyes are open, the mouth moves but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn’t he, Percy?”
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder)
(Photo: BBC Worldwide)
12. Norma: “Is this hat too far forward? Jim: “No, we can still see your face”
( The Royle Family )
13. “One more facelift on this one and she’ll have a beard”
Patsy Stone (Absolutely Fabulous)
14. “Would it be terribly rude to stop listening to you and go and speak to somebody else?”
Alan Partridge ( I’m Alan Partridge )
(Photo: BBC Worldwide)
15. “Right, now; the sort of person we’re looking for is an aggressive drunken lout with the intelligence of a four year old and the sexual sophistication of a donkey”
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder)
16. “I’m so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I’m with her, I’m reminded of the virtues of the English”
Dowager Countess Violet Crawley to Lady Cora about her American mother (Downton Abbey)
17. “A few years ago I went to see King Kong at the cinema, now I’m on a date with her”
Will ( The Inbetweeners )
(Photo: Channel 4)
18. “Even when we were babies, I had to show you which bit of your mother was serving the drinks”
Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder)
19. “I can see why she’s divorced, she’s very divorceable. As soon as you meet her you can’t wait to take her to court to get rid of her”
Maurice Moss ( IT Crowd )
20. “It’s like hiring a man-eating shark as your children’s swimming instructor”
Victor Meldrew (One Foot in the Grave)
(Photo: BBC)
21. “You know, you’re the classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain”
The Doctor (Doctor Who)
22. “I’d love to stop and chat to you, but I’d rather have type 2 diabetes”
Malcolm Tucker ( The Thick of It)
23. “I’ve got three words for you: calorie controlled diet”
Nan (The Catherine Tate Show):
24. “He’s bald. Darling, he’s got a comb-over from a nose hair”
Patsy Stone (Absolutely Fabulous)
(Photo: BBC)
25. “Lynn’s a good worker, but I suppose she’s a bit like Burt Reynolds. Very reliable, but she’s got a moustache.” Alan Partridge (I’m Alan Partridge)
- The findings celebrate the release of all four series of Blackadder on www.uktvplay.co.uk - the free TV catch up service.
To celebrate Blackadder Season on UKTV Play, fans can create their own Blackadder-inspired put downs with the ‘Blackadder Insults Generator’ - www.blackadderinsults.co.uk