text: In 1982, Hollywood-born chanteuse Charlene had a surprise worldwide hit with I've Never Been To Me. 'I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo,' she sang, 'and showed 'em what I got…' (Actually, when the song became a hit she was in straitened financial circumstances and working in a sweetshop in Ilford, Essex, so instead of moving like Harlow she could have been singing about moving to Harlow.) One of the most irritating lyrics in the song - it has many - is when she sings about the 'Isle of Greece', as if she were discussing the Isle of Man or the Isle of Wight. Don't take this the wrong way, America, but is there anybody in your country with a geography O-level to their name? This may come as a surprise to our transatlantic cousins but Greece has rather more islands in its portfolio than one - in fact there are more than 6,000, most of them uninhabited. The number of inhabited islands is counted at anything from 166 to 227 (depending on the definition of 'inhabited' I suppose). The view of the blue waters of Lourdas Bay, Kefalonia, a stunning Greek island untainted by the masses . I often wonder why Greece doesn't sort out its economic problems by selling off some prime Mediterranean real estate - how many uninhabited islands does one country really need? Out of the six biggest Greek islands, even Americans will recognise two: Crete - the biggest - and Rhodes (fourth biggest). I'm guessing two will be unknown to us all: Euboea (second biggest) and Chios (fifth); and two will sound familiar Lesbos (third) and Kefalonia (sixth). You will probably know Kefalonia because this was the setting for Louis de Bernières's novel Captain Corelli's Mandolin and, in direct contravention of usual Hollywood policy, was where the movie was actually filmed. Kefalonia, it has to be said, has been a little bit reluctant to play the Captain Corelli card too freely in the cause of attracting tourists. Great book, reasonable film (despite the fact Nicolas Cage, who played Corelli, was woefully miscast) but you can see why the Kefalonians were not wholly thrilled to bits by either. It took probably the two worst events in the island's history - the brutal massacre of Italian troops in 1943 and the awful earthquake of 1953 - and used them as grist to the story's romantic mill. Kefalonia is perhaps best known as the setting for Louis de Bernières's novel Captain Corelli's Mandolin . The 2001 film adaptation starred Nicholas Cage and Penelope Cruz but focussed on negative events . Kefalonia, however, is simply stunning - an absolute gem. I had visited Zante, the neighbouring island, and wasn't impressed. It has some nice beaches but it has been tarnished by tourism of the cheap and nasty sort - lots of scuzzy booze clubs where young Brits go to behave badly. Kefalonia, on the other hand, has remained relatively pristine. This has probably much to do with the fact that its airport is of a size that would find it difficult to cope with the modest level of air traffic arriving on the Isle of Lewis. It's a large island, about a quarter of the size of Majorca, but with just a 20th of the number of tourists of the Spanish hotspot. On arrival, I found myself gaping at the sublime beauty of the place. In parts it reminded me of Tuscany with its gently wooded rolling slopes dotted with trees. Kefalonia is by no means perfect: the roads are sub B-road standard and signposting is practically nonexistent or, for obvious but unhelpful reasons, in Greek letters (a big problem when your satnav starts shrugging its digital shoulders and goes into sulk mode). In a rare case for Hollywood the film was actually shot in Kefalonia where the book's events took place . The sheer sublime beauty of Kefalonia recalls elements of Tuscany but it's by no means perfect . The instructions that told us how to get from the airport to our villa had lots of details like: 'Turn right after the yellow sign near the olive oil shop halfway up the hill from the bakers.' The drive south should have taken 30 minutes but proved much longer with the complicated route. It was a relief, however, to find that tourism had made only limited progress, with just one or two modest-sized hotels in evidence. Eventually we discovered our glorious property - the Villa Zeus - with an 'oh my God' view over Lourdas beach. While unpacking, I decided to take my ease on the hammock. And so it was I had my You've Been Framed moment, toppling straight off and landing on my head. I rose groggily from the dust to find myself being stared at by part-time resident cat Arthur. Arthur the cat was reliable company when food was on offer ... or when he thought it should be . I'm pretty sure 'Barrett' is a name near the top of every stray cat 'watch list' around the world. Wherever we travel, we barely have time to unpack before some flea-ridden derelict is attempting to wrest food from our table. Arthur joined us at the table whenever he was aware that food was on the go. He also made his presence felt when he considered that food ought to be on the go. He was around, therefore, most of the daylight hours - and as he was getting so well fed (we ended up getting him proper cat food from the supermarket) he often stuck around all night. I often found myself giving him bits of cheese at 3am (in fairness, he would eat almost anything). The one moment that Arthur noticeably made himself scarce was the night of the fire. At 2am one night towards the end of our stay, we became aware that a huge wild fire had broken out about a mile away. In these situations it's hard to know at what point you need to get out; too soon you look foolish, too late you look dead. The fire grew in sudden bursts, the flames fanned by strong winds; but it was not obviously coming in our direction… yet. We sat watchful on our balcony with our bags packed ready to escape. We eventually went back to bed. At 6am, I was awoken by a helicopter and a plane which began scooping up water from the sea and then headed over the fire zone to dump it - a laborious process that went on for hours. Later in the day we walked down to examine the site, expecting to see acres consumed by the conflagration. In fact the fire-damaged area was surprisingly small. The one must-do outing in Kefalonia is to Fiskardo, a lovely harbour, and Tassia, an excellent waterfront restaurant that seems to attract an A-list crowd. Booked for that evening, we heard, were Mr and Mrs Tom Hanks whose annual yacht trip normally brings them here. The lovely harbour of Fiskardo is a must-visit place for anyone staying on Kefalonia . Unique Villas offers villas from €699 (£520) per week. Seven nights at Villa Zeus costs from €2,159 (£1,600). easyJet flies from Gatwick to Kefalonia from £36.99pp one way. Norwegian launched a new route from Gatwick to Kefalonia in April. For further information on Greece go to visitgreece.gr. On our way back we passed by the monastery where the body of Kefalonia's patron Saint Gerasimos is kept in a glass case. On his holy day the body is passed over the ill and the sick in the hope of curing them. Also worth a visit is the harbour of Argostoli, where big turtles cruise up and down the waterfront looking for food. Like Arthur, I imagine, they'll eat anything. Back at the Villa Zeus, even though it was still just 3pm, Arthur had convinced himself it was teatime. We didn't disappoint him. We had a glass of the lovely local Gentilini wine as we soaked up the glorious afternoon sun. Arthur had a tin of Felix.
target: Kefalonia is stunning and doesn't play the Captain Corelli's Mandolin card .
  Island hasn't been tainted by the crowds  its Greek counterparts get .
  It's a quarter of the size of Spain's Majorca but with a 20th of the  tourists .
  The one must-do outing in Kefalonia is to Fiskardo , a lovely harbour .