Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1. I wish part 1

**To please everyone**

by. Raigon

**Always grumpy, always with an attitude ...what would Raphael be like if he actually followed orders for once, thought of everyone's feelings before his own, and simply acted like a better brother. A wish upon a star can sometimes come true, but when the fantasy become reality ...the old saying always bleeds through, " Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it". **

**(Wish upon a star trilogy#1)**

A hand would grip another.

A weight would slam against brick …..as sweat would run down his muscles and eyes would lock on one another.

Green into blue.

Fear, they both had it curling in the back of their minds, but only one allowed it to come to the surface.

The other, older …he couldn't afford such a reaction …such a thought.

Not now …as he held on tightly.

"Don't you dare let go."

He would snarl at his baby brother.

The three fingers would seem to tighten on his wrist, at his words, and the fingers would dig into his skin so hard that he was sure that he would bruise. It didn't matter to him, he could tighten his hold until he bleed, just as long as he doesn't let go.

His own hand was already lock on tight enough that he was surprise he hadn't broken bone.

With that assurance, he would break eye contact then and try to look back over his shoulder. The fighting was still going on, and he knew that their absences hadn't been miss. It was only sheer luck that their enemies were few for a change. That meant that his other two brothers could keep them busy enough that they didn't come have time to finish them off ….as his other hand press harder against the brick. He would throw his weight completely backwards as he heard his brother's belly scrape against the stones. If he wasn't a turtle, he would have one hell of a rug burn, and as he flew over the brick siding and straight into the gut of his rescuer …neither would have cared either way.

He was alive, and now, he was safe.

"Thanks."

One would mutter as the other would shove him sharply off of him. There was no sense of relief on the older's face, only annoyance. He was missing the battle thanks to him, and that was almost a slap in his face as he added to already wounded feelings.

"Just keep your head in the game."

That was the best of an acceptance he would get for the thanks. Probably more than he deserved for wasting his time, and for screwing up so badly. The older turning to charge back into battle, he never notice the shiver that rack the younger. His eyes glancing back to what could have been his death. A 50 feet drop off the side of a building, and for a moment he can't move. He can't breathe. There was no way, he would throw himself immediately back into the fray. If his older sibling had been a few more steps away, if he hadn't guess where he would be thrown.

He shook his head hard.

The orange tails of his mask would snap from right to left quickly.

He can't afford to freeze at this moment.

His brothers still needed him ….at least two of them, and thus, Michelangelo push his way past the fear. He pushes what just happen to him into the back of his mind, and rejoins the fray. He can worry about it at another time.

Though the battle seems to end before he could do anything.

He wasn't needed.

Though, he didn't feel unwanted.

One brother would check him over for physical damage, while the other checks for mental one, and the one that save him, his rescuer, only glares. Mikey had to correct himself, he didn't feel unwanted by most of his brothers.

Why?

Why couldn't he see he was still shaken?

Why couldn't he give a word of concern?

All the way home, he felt his intense glare on the back of his shell. So, when Mikey turns to look into the eyes of his red mask brother, the glare didn't change or flinch away. Though, Mikey found himself quickly looking away.

It wasn't right? Why didn't he act more like a brother to him, to them? Raph, the aloof, Raph, the attitude, but never, Raph the concern brother. No, they were all a hinderance to him …in one way or another. Mikey's eyes would go to his two brothers, purple and blue, genius and leader, and to Raph, just more annoyances. One nags him too much, and the other ….well, it was probably the same compliant. All of them worry about him, but he never worries about them.

It wasn't fair.

Mikey looks upwards into the night sky as they drop back to street level. As his oldest brother would move the cover to their sewer home, and motion for them to all enter, Mikey would see one star shining brighter than the others. The one in blue always enter the tunnels last after such a close call, and that gave Mikey time. His concern was in his actions if not in his face …as purple went next, red third, and finally orange would be the last ….as he makes a wish before he disappears into it's depth.

~I wish Raph was a better brother …."

Chapter 1 - finished


	2. I wish part 2

**To please everyone**

**by Raigon**

Arms pin to my side, I race towards my opponent.

Swift motion forward, my opponent hesitate at the unexpected advancement.

I charge into the heart of battle, before my brother in blue's call.

Another fight we didn't ask for, I leave him to direct everyone else where to go.

Another clash that we couldn't detour, one down and five more to go.

Yet, I love it most, for though he gives commands.…

My brother in blue …can't see the battle field the way I do.

The swirl of motion, the shift in stance, the angles that appear and disappear so fast.

It's a song, it's a beat, a rhythm that calls to my soul.

Yet, all he does is call me reckless.

Simply because, I don't see the world the way he does.

"Raph watch your back!"

Leonardo saw it in slow motion.

The downward stroke of a katana that would cut his reckless brother's arm from his shoulder.

He was too far away to do anything more than call a warning.

His own battle at that moment forgotten as he imagine the scream of agony that would follow after the loss of a limb, and he cringe as battle instincts alone made him dodge a blow that shatter the concrete at his feet. The sound muted in comparison to the clash of steel a few moments later, and the thunderous thud of a body hitting the ground afterwards.

Leo was distracted as he grab the arm in front of him, and threw the creature over his shoulder into the wall beyond him. His eyes scanning back for signs of his red mask brother. A glint of steel would catch his eyes first. A discarded Katana lay on the ground not more than a few steps from the brother he seek. On the ground, Leo would see Raph roll away from a strike so similar to the one he had dodge only a moment before. Busted concrete where his head had been, but all his limbs were still attach to him, and though Leo didn't know he had held his breath, he release it in relief.

He was good.

They were okay.

For now, but not if something didn't change.

His opponent got back up. The monstrous creature shook bricks from his fur as though it was water, and yet, he still didn't have Leo's full attention. The turtle was watching his opponent's slow rise and at the same time, tracking the battle.

What was wrong?

Why was this so hard?

True their opponents were strong.

But, they were stronger.

And then he saw it, the problem with his strategy, and he almost growls at it.

It was Raphael.

His reckless brother was all over the place. Their enemy outnumber them, and because of him, they had herded him and his brother in orange together. They had triple their numbers against those two, but concentrated it all on just the one in red.

Stupid.

It had been one on one with Mikey and two on one with Raph. Yet, being so close together, neither would see that shift or the fact that they would switch so that none of their opponents stay consistent. The brother in red was in fact fighting three instead of two as they twist from one brother to another. Always looking for that moment of distraction, that moment his eyes overlook them as he trust his brother in orange to handle himself against the lone attacker.

Stupid.

Yet, it was easily remedy.

"Mikey, Raph, you are too close together! Get behind them, and lead them apart!"

It was easy enough for them to do. It was a easy command to follow, but as one brother in orange would roll underneath the arching sword of one opponent to spring away with a slight pop to his opponent's butt with his weapon, the other would ignore it completely. He would snarl in a way ….that spoke of his refusal, and charge into all three together in a way that center himself completely in their midst.

Leo would have curse at his brother's pigheadedness if his own opponent hadn't chosen that moment to charge.

A easy side step, as the black brute would thunder pass with his shoulder down just as Mikey stop his own rush. Recognizing that his opponent hadn't follow, Mikey was prepare to go back, and never saw it coming. The line was direct, there was no escaping it.

The impact, the angle, and Leo couldn't even utter a warning.

Yet, somehow, he was there ….as Mikey's body flew through space and closer to the abyss that would lead to his death.

He caught him, his arm disappears over the side of the building, and in that instant the battle changes as he saw only his reckless brother's back. Straining muscles as he held onto their baby brother, and left his back open to four opponents at once. Nothing else matters, nothing else would distract as Leo charges into the fray to make sure that nothing disturb his reckless brother's new focus. His brother in purple would twist free as well, so between two, five were split.

Their hearts were one, their intentions one and the same, and Leo's commands were heeded.

Almost before Raph could pull their baby brother back to safety, the fight was over.

The flash of red …as their opponent's turn to flee made his blood boil hot. It push away his exhaustion as though it was only a figment of his imagination.

So close.

His brother in red had come so close to death, but that wasn't good enough.

He had almost kill their brother in orange too.

His anger explode, and he shouts out.

"YOU idiot!"

The words halts him faster than any command.

Though Leo wasn't done. His hands reaching out to grab upon the rims of his brother's plastron as he pull him close. He makes sure he could see the anger in his eyes, the fear and worry swallowed up by that all consuming rage. He knows he can't see it in the midst of the flame, but it was still there. It press him to act without thought, without strategy.

"Why didn't you follow my orders? You almost got Mikey kill!"

Leo search his eyes, for signs that he understood. That he takes responsibility for what happen. Yet, he doesn't see it.

No guilt, no remorse.

No apology, no regret.

No, like his own, there is only one emotion present … an all consuming rage that matches his own.

Raph slaps Leo's hands away, and Leo lets him go as his brother in red snarls back.

"It wasn't my stupid plan that put Mikey in harm's way nor my opponent that knock him over the building."

Logic. Raph's shortsighted logic, that only lives in the moment. That couldn't track the path of events, or the trail his decision leads him down. That made it clear he would never be a good leader. Proof that he was nothing more than reckless.

Leo lay into him.

He explains it all, his reckless charge that put them into an unknown situation. His disregard for their battle plans as he attack, which led to the three on one situation that almost cost him an arm. His inconsistency that distracts others in battle. How his non-compliance to follow commands had stop Mikey in the pathway of that ill fated charge.

And his answer for himself.

A snort.

A comment about his commands being off.

And then he turns to walk away, leaving his back to his brother who could do nothing else but look up at the heavens. Leo saw it then, a single star that seems brighter than all the others. His anger directed harmlessly towards the sky as he growls underneath his breathe.

"I wish he would just follow my commands for once".

Then he goes to his baby brother's side to check on his well-being.

(Chapter 2 - Completed)


	3. I wish part 3

He growls as they walk home. He wasn't oblivious, and he wasn't stupid. He knew his brother in blue was piss, and his brother in orange seems to cringe away from his gaze. He had hurt them both, but it had never been his intention. They had both hurt him too, but he wasn't acting like he had a stick up his butt nor like he was …..a monster.

The thought made him kick over a trashcan once they hit street level.

The sound loud in the darkness, the sound louder still to his three brothers who was trying to return home without any further mishaps.

He hadn't thought.

He had just reacted.

He turns around to look sheepish at his brothers, my bad, trail on his tongue.

Yet, before the words could be said, or the expression came to light, the look on their faces blows it all away.

Their eyes, one glares, one looks away, and the other … disappointment.

There was nothing he could do to please them.

Nothing at all.

So why even try?

The thought ran across his mind hot ….and strong.

Though he shook it away, he just press on.

They were all just tired, stress, and upset, those looks meant nothing. He told himself that until he touches the sewer floor. His brother in orange pass him by, his brother in purple shift back towards the entry way to look for their oldest brother descent. Or at least, that was what Raph thought, until he heard Donatello's voice. Until he heard his words, his plea, his prayer, his wish, and it crush everything inside of him at once.

"I wish he would think about others' feelings for a change."

Donnie hadn't meant to say those words out loud. He was just frustrated when he spoke those words. So much had happen, in such a short time, and it had got to him. He had almost lost a brother, had to stand up against overwhelming odds, and watch his family break down from the inside out afterwards. He just wanted it to end. For them all to be more like brothers and friends again, so he had with the logic of a scientist saw the problem he had to solve. The one thing that needed to be fix to make everything run right. Stars he knew, granted no wishes at all, yet, the one framed in the circle of their tunnel home had called out to him. It had shone too brightly. He had thought for just a moment, what was the harm?

The harm….

He almost felt the shift in the air as the star was block out by his oldest brother's bulk and he looks away to see in the partial darkness the reason for his wish. His brother in red, for a split second, he saw the hurt there, and then it was gone.

..he hadn't meant to cause harm.

Anger curl forward, and teeth would clench as though Raph was struggling to keep something dark trap within. Something that when it came out, was going to be very painful for the genius. His wish had been a foolish thing, but then Donnie saw nothing more.

Leo had drop between them.

More than likely, just in time, as he pass them by, and Raph seems to have gone with him.

It was a long walk home.

Raph had move to the front of the group, which meant that Mikey no longer had him glaring at the back of his shell. That seems to relax their baby brother a bit, and with Leo just a bit behind him …made sure there was enough space in between the two to keep them from breaking down into a fight… as his oldest brother grumble his complaints. It was a rather peaceful walk, and thus, Donnie couldn't help assessing the damage that his brother in red had done.

The entire mission should have been a easy thing. They were tracking a canister of mutagen that had managed to come within their tracker's range on the surface. Pick up and retrieval, so easy, but things never went that way. It would seem that the foot had found it first.

Razher and Fishfang was in their ranks, but, other than the three foot bots …there was nothing more.

Their luck wasn't totally bad, and so, Leo had come up with a plan that would allow them to pluck the canister and then get away. Afterall, their mission was to retrieve the canister, not fight if they could avoid it. Yet, Raph hadn't accepted that, and charge forward.

It was a slap to Leo's face.

Raph had thought his plan not good enough, him not good enough.

Though Donnie knew Raph hadn't meant it that way.

Just carelessness.

Though it wasn't enough, when Mikey had nearly been kill. The trauma bringing the horror to the surface, like when he had nightmares at home …, their orange mask brother had reach to his older brother for support. if they had been home, if they had been alone, Raph would have gave that support without a single thought. Though they weren't, and Raph hid such tenderness in the darkness, and thus, Mikey's reward….cutting words, and a cold shoulder.

Their baby brother had felt rejected.

Selfishness

Raph had an image to uphold, but still couldn't he see how much his brother needed him right then.

Simply selfishness.

Then when all was said and done, and Donnie himself had gone to check on wounds. His other two brothers had quickly comply, but not his hotheaded brother. No, Raph had snap at him, and pull away. The long cut on his arm flashing in his vision like a taunt. If it got infected later, that would be more work for him and worry. Sickness was never easy on an of them.

Inconsiderate

Yet, there was nothing he could do about his brother's actions or how they affect everyone as they walk towards the entrance of their home. Their trek in the sewers done, Donnie couldn't help his mind wandering back to that star. His wish echoing in his heart.

"I wish my brother was more considerate of others' feelings."

(Chapter 3 -Completed)


	4. Fall

It beat hard within his chest.

His blood pressure rises without his consent.

Raph would push ahead of everyone as he felt it for the first time.

Normally he only arose after it had happen.

He only became aware when it was too late to do something about it.

Yet this time he knew in advance, and thus he pushes himself to walk far ahead.

He was losing control.

Raph's vision swam with the colors of battle, as the angry pulses of blue covers his brothers as he walks pass them all. The colors of the enemy, not hot, but cold ….and calculating and unfeeling towards their plight.…his plight. But, they are his brothers, and not the enemy ….and thus he puts them at his back so that he doesn't see the colors and accidentally react. The world beyond them, pulses with orange, randomness, unpredictability, but not necessary dangerous. It was the colors before a battle, when things can swing either way …from fight to flight or vice versa. Though most of the times, it changes to fight, and as long as he doesn't see the flashes of purple he knew they were alright. For that violet hue meant only one thing, points of contact, areas of danger …that was as logical in his mind eyes as Donnie's machines and computers were in his own. No, the constant orange was good, but not the best. No normally his brothers were cloak in his own red color. Do not touch, Do not harm, the warnings were sharp, and it was why even in the thick of the battle, when his blood lust was highest ….he never hurt anyone he wasn't meant to hurt.

Though now, now he couldn't understand why his battle vision held sway, and why his brothers no longer pulse red. They weren't the enemy, he told his heart, but it refuse to budge as he glance backwards to see that blue still covers them sharply and true.

What in the hell was going on?

Fear course through the red mask turtle, and thus the lair never look so good to Raph as it did the moment they cross it's entrance way. He needed time to sort this out, to fix this, but then it comes into sight. Flashes of violet in front of the way leading to his room, the kitchen, the dojo …..and even the living room. All areas of contact, of danger and battle, and with only his brothers here ….Raph finds himself having no choice but to literally lock himself in the bathroom.

The only place safe as he hears Leo huff only a few minutes afterwards.

"When you are done in there, we need to talk, Raph."

Confirmation, no one notice his trembles, or how he rush to the safety of this room. They didn't notice anything at all, and he put his head in his arms as he slid to the floor with his shell to the door and hug his knees to his chest. Raph let the trembles run their course as blood drip on the floor, crimson tears and no one heard them nor took heed.

He was truly alone.

And with that thought he slip …his mind drops fast into the abyss.

For everyone was good at something.

Donnie was good with machines, Mikey was the best at getting everyone to relax and have fun, and Leo …well he was splinter jr. afterall, and himself? Brute Strength or Raw power, what does such a thing mean to a ninja, who simply uses such as points of weakness. Battle? No, him and his brothers were equals, and saying recklessness or attitude was the same thing as saying you were the best at being the worst. No Raph's strength has always been his ability to meditate. He could slip further and faster than anyone into the state including Master Splinter, but, he fear his strength.

It was why he refuse, because, when he slip …. he touch on their bonds, and it hurt.

He always got the negative.

Stupid, Reckless, Dangerous

Negativity was always on the surface of those bonds, and he dread sinking deeper to get to what was within. It was what made him aloof, made him afraid of touch. He had been that way since he was young, and that fear didn't abate as he got older.

No everything was out of control, and without even trying …he had slip into the state.

Down …

Down…

He fell.

The accusation came first ….hot like the sun, and hit with the force of nunchaku.

Why didn't he act more like a brother to him, to them? Raph, the aloof, Raph, the attitude, but never, Raph the concern brother.

Mikey's voice …as each sentence hit him hard.

His own flaying self tries to counter back.

Yet, he was falling too fast.

Slashes came next …

"Why didn't you follow my orders? You almost got Mikey kill!"

Words hurl in anger, that gave no room for rebuttal. Leo's words …those he actually shouted out were as quick as his katana swings and cut just as deeply. It slash him open and left him falling without pause towards a hard swing that took all the wind out of his sails.

That smash everything inwards.

Simply selfishness.

Inconsideration.

Donnie.

Three sharp …hard swings of his Bo, and then he had nothing left to fight back with as he hit rock bottom, and lay there ….not moving an inch. Raph had never fallen so far before, as ….something warm and comforting lay just within his grasp if he only had the strength to go towards it. Yet, he couldn't move, and thus, he lay in the darkness …with his hurt and pain.

~Come with me~

A voice simply states in the nothingness.

No promises of where he would go, no reassurance or comforting, nor any accusation or blame. Just come with me and Raph somehow knew after that …would be nothingness. No more anything ..pain, joy, fear, relief ….and it didn't seem so bad as he nods his consent and the darkness rise to swallow him up.

Then Raph was gone …..as a hand reaches for him from the light.

Too late.

A voice cries out for his son.

Mikey falls from the couch to the floor as a flash of reddish violet sweeps pass.

The sound of his voice rouse Donnie from the lab.

And Leo waiting outside of the bathroom door was violently shove away by brown paws.

Master Splinter cut the door apart using only his claws as his son in red falls backwards bonelessly in his waiting arms. The blood of his wound …pooling crimson on the floor …form a wide puddle as the crimson Sai in it's middle seem to be its source.

The lake surrounding it.

Eyes lock on it

Dark Blue

Baby Blue

Brown

Be careful what you wish for…

you might just get it.

(Chapter 4 …..finished)

**Author note: I will admit, this is probably hard to understand. Though it was fun to write. I will try and post the next chapter soon, because, I know how much I hate cliffhangers.**


	5. Rest

Blood drips on the floor as Splinter took his son away. A trail of blood that leads from the bathroom to his own, mark the path they took to get there. No one said a word about it, no one dare to interfere, and the one son who offer aid was told without a single word that his help wasn't needed then. With them shut behind a door, the three remaining brothers were left with the aftermath of their red mask brother's choice, and like any other time before .…there was nothing left for them to do but clean up.

Donnie was trying to reconstruct the door their father had cut up. The four pieces lay in shambles around them, slice so perfectly, they look like they could simply be glued back together. Yet, Donnie had already tried that, and he knew better, now. Afterall, their master had slice the hinges as well ….as the purple masked turtle sighs, and turn his attention to the deeper scores on the frame. The entire thing would need to be taken out, and a new door found …somewhere. All of it was Raph's fault.

"What was his thinking?"

The words spill from his lips as Leo stop his wiping of the floor. A bloody rag in his hand …as he looks at his brother in purple before the one in orange with the mop spoke in his stead.

"Maybe, who has to die to get us to clean the bathroom?"

The glares Mikey got at his retort made him flinch.

"Okay, not funny …I get it."

Leo would walk past him then as he drops the rag in the sink and start to rinse the blood out of it again. The bloody sai had yet to be remove from the room, and his eyes couldn't help going back to it.

"I was waiting to lecture him ….while he bleed out."

The words came without any prompting. The accusation, the admission of blame was starting to swirl in his head, and thus, could be heard in the tone in which he said those words. It pull Donnie up short, and made Mikey look at him with a sense of dread.

"Don't you dare!"

It was their genius brother who would snap at last. His voice hard and cold.

"We have one brother slitting his wrist, and we don't need another one. This isn't your fault, it's not ours either, and the only one to blame is the same one who did it. Raph, he could have talk to us. He could have had the decency to think what it would do to us if he just died like that."

"Stupid, Inconsiderate …reckless."

The words pour out as his pain came out, and with the hammer tightly in his hand …he was helpless to stop his brother in orange's hug from the side. Mikey needed him to calm down, and Donnie needed some support.

"Remember what you said, Donnie."

Mikey soothe.

"It's no one's fault."

"Not even, Raph's."

The words spun in the air, and disappeared before they could make it into the room of the one who's name he call. Donnie's wish to help, his father knew ..would have only cause him more pain. Their father's ears twitches, as he press one hand against the shallow wound on his son's arm, and finish wrapping the bandage around tightly. The rest of his wounds, all nonlethal he had clean away or bandage, and his teeth were bare as he thought about the source. No, the truth would sting, because, all his purple clad son would know is what truths he saw right in front of him. There was no way, he could see the damage …deep within, if he saw this evidence.

All his older brother's wounds were self-inflicted, but Splinter knew, none were done by Raphael's own hand.

He gently cups his normally passionate son's face in one hand.

They wouldn't understand what that meant …not while their own hearts were so sore. They would take it alone that he meant to end his own life, and Master Splinter knew it wasn't true. He had felt it for a moment, him reaching out for him …his desire for his comfort. Though, he hadn't know at first why he hadn't come, but as he felt the darkness stir. He suddenly understood why, but his reaction time had been so slow.

He never guess …any of them could so effortlessly fall so far so fast.

Now his son lay so slack and lifeless, that it hurt to look at him, and all because he had underestimated his son. He almost chuckles at the thought, his sons ….no matter the age always finds ways to surprise him. He just wish this one was a pleasant one. His attention turn back to the problem at hand.

He speaks softly.

"What has hurt you so, that you bleed on the surface as well as inside…my son?"

The question pose though he knew there would be no answer. The middle age rat would close his eyes as he allow himself to drift down and into his son's self-consciousness. He had visit this world before, he had walk this path many years prior, but never before in his red mask son's consciousness. Battle sense, this was the world of his warrior days, but why was it active when there was no enemies here? He didn't know, but it did make things easier when finding the places that needed to be heal. They would all flash violet or purple to his eyes, and without fail he would move to soothe those areas into their proper shades of orange. Though the process still ends up taking longer than he like, and the type of wounds he find …made him cringe at what he see of his son's inner turmoil. Yet in all that time, he saw nothing of the safety of red, the cause that would have been flashes of blue, or most troubling of all, he hadn't felt a flicker of his son's wayward spirit. It was tiring and puzzling, and finally his stamina would reach its end as he heals the last wound. He could hold himself there no longer, as his focus waver.

Splinter came back into himself, and he look downward once more at his child.

His hand recoiling from where it touch his son.

"Wake up soon, Raphael."

With that he drape a blanket over him, and left to inform his brothers of what he did and didn't know.

His words ….his wish, drip down, down …down below.

Where only Raphael consciousness exist.

There in the darkness, in the nothingness he was being shape and mold. The parts that were unwanted were pluck out, the parts they want mash in, and the real Raph …the one who had agreed to this only watch this replacement being model and shape to be him.

He no longer cared.

He didn't have to please.

And for the moment, it was enough to him.

(Chapter 5 …finished)


	6. Reveal

When Master Splinter calls them forward, and when they all sat in front of him …fear curl in their bellies. What would be his words? What was the state of their brother? Was he okay? They knew he couldn't be dead, Master Splinter was too casual as his ears flatten against his skull. He would look at his three remaining sons with a expression that was unreadable.

They couldn't understand, that he had no clue what to say to them. How could he tell them what was going on with their red mask brother, and not cause harm, but as the silences linger way too long he would eventually say something.

"Raphael is hurt."

The words were almost a no duh, and Mikey had to contain himself not to blurt that out.

"His spirit has sunken further than I can reach in my meditation, and whatever has wounded him spiritual has left marks on his body …that led you to think it was self inflicted by his own weapon."

The middle-aged rat would think about the words he had spoken, and change it as he saw the doubt in his purple clad son's eyes.

"Self-inflicted yes, but not by his weapon and not by choice, and no I do not know what is the cause of this imbalance."

Master Splinter saids the words directly at Donatello. He knew there would be a question otherwise, and it would lead down a road that at the moment, he was not ready to travel. His orange clad son would chose that moment to chime in and to further take their minds away from what could have turned into a very awkward question and answer session as he tries to wrap his mind around what his father had just told them.

"Whoa, so what you are trying to say is that Raph was feeling so bad, that he actually hurt himself without …actually hurting himself?"

Master Splinter blinks at his words. It sounded good enough of an explanation to him.

"Yes."

"Hum…I heard of self destructive thoughts, but, I never thought ….thoughts could be self destructive."

Donatello would chime in as a grin stretch over his orange banded brother's face.

"I told you …thinking was dangerous."

The purple clad one would roll his eyes.

"Only for you…."

"and Raph."

Leonardo would add in with a hint of distress that was impossible to miss.

"So, what do we do, Master Splinter?"

The middle-age rat would only curl his tail around his legs as he sat in a way that had his thighs crossing each other. He would twirl one finger through the fur that grew like a beard on his face.

"For now, we wait ….and we tend his wounds until he awake. Then we can find our answers."

It was all the answers he could give them, as an unspoken question was pass between them all. Their eyes speaking it, but, it would never pass their lips. Fear that such a thought when given the light might come true as Master Splinter would simply nod his head. He would dismiss them with a gesture as the question follows his back as he heads back to his room to tend to their fallen brother.

…What if he never woke up? ….

I wish ….my son would wake up soon….

The wish touch and sunk into the depths as the darkness continue to model the new him. The one that was everything they wanted without his flaws, without, the things that made Mikey tremble, Leo's blood boil, and that look of disappointment appear on the face of his genius brother. No, this new one would be perfect, everything they deserve. He felt the darkness starting to cover him …drown him …it touch him in a way that relaxes him almost completely. Soothing, he wasn't fighting as it creep over him, covering his hands, his feet, his shell and inching its way along his neck.

It would have consume him completely if it hadn't broken through.

As it reaches him, and makes his eyes snap open in realization.

His father's wish.

He was tired, but suddenly he found strength

He would have to please again, but it no longer mattered.

His father wanted him home, and he has disappointed enough.

The darkness wrap around him tightly, no longer soothing.

The replacement him wasn't complete, and the thing that was making it wasn't happy to see him thrashing about. It was confuse, he had agreed? Yet, he took it all back, and it wasn't willing to accept it. Raph struggled, he fought, he curse, and he would have bitten if he could, but yet, he was restrain …well and good. The creature that had seem as nothing in this world of only darkness starts to gain a face …no eyes, no nose, just a wide grin fill with teeth that seem impossibly white in the black face.

It was laughing at his struggles, laughing at him as Raph snorts in irritation and anger seems to give him more strength than he had before. He wasn't going down and that thing, that thing wasn't going to take his place and, …suddenly he realizes he had no clue why this was happening?

Was it why his battle sense was going off?

He remembered the lair and the colors.

Was this thing going to harm his family?

His brothers had been represented in blue …like enemies.

Had he just allow it?

He hadn't struggle at all, even when he was given a warning.

Had he just given it everything necessary to tear his family apart?

They wouldn't know …this thing would easily tear them apart.

The fear gave fuel to his struggle, the fear soon turn to anger, and the darkness that had seem to be on the verge of victory soon had a fight on it's hands. He wouldn't let anything hurt his brothers, and that included himself.

Three days ….it was three days later that Raphael woke up.

Three days of his own personal battle, three days of his brother's fears, three days of his father's worries, until he shift in a way that spoke of more awareness than mere restlessness in his sleep. Almost as immediate as the shift, the sounds of his Master's calls would roar as he summon his brothers into the room. The sounds of their feet, muffled, but he could pick them out. The softness of Leo's feet as he rush trying to not make a sound ….unconsciously, he always strive for perfection, while, Donatello's movements were heavier. He was more than likely still carrying one of his inventions on him, or maybe, it was just the added weight of his goggles that made his foot steps heavier. Then there was the whirlwind that was Mikey, even ninja training couldn't make that kid run soundlessly. It was a relief somehow to hear them, and he didn't really understand why ….as they came to a stop around him. Everything silent as he moves, and the towel falls away from his eyes as he sat up ..wobbly.

His father's strong paws were around him instantly, helping him to sit up.

Yet, as he blink in the harsh light, and turn to stare at them all ….the excitement he felt from them a moment before was blown away. The relief he felt, and was shared, was quickly replace by doubt and a bit of fear from his father himself.

What was wrong? What had change?

He couldn't see it himself, but they could.

His hand would rub at one eye, trying to clear his mind enough to understand.

Something had alarm them as his hand fell from his face and he blink again.

His vision was clear, and so was theirs.

There was no mistaking what they saw.

Green no longer, the eyes that stare at them were a golden amber.

There was no way they could know it.

They had no clue of the internal battle that had rage within.

Yet, somewhere deep inside …they still recognize it.

Their Raphael was no more.

(Chapter 6 finished)


	7. Cope

The red mask turtle sat alone in his Master's room.

It hadn't taken much to convince them to go.

He had just pleaded weakness and exhaustion, and they were gone almost faster than they had arrive.

He look down at himself, and fist his hands in the sheets that cover his legs as the memories flow.

Those eyes.

Everyone looking at him, and the concern in their eyes. It wasn't the type of concern he was expecting.

Their brother had been unconscious for three days.

He should have gotten a better welcome than that.

Mikey should have hug him.

Donnie should have fretted like a mother hen over him.

Leo …Leo would had stood back and look at him with eyes that hesitated, but still, he knew the moment that his two brothers had finish he would have come forward. Not a hug, but a comforting hand on his shoulder, and eyes that demanded an answer later. Afterall, in their eyes, he had just tried to off himself. Yet, none of that happen, all they did was stare, and if that wasn't bad enough, he hadn't miss the subtle rejection. His own father had release his shoulders to let him remain sitting up alone. He had move to sit with his back to his three sons, and though his eyes show concern his body was rigid and tense.

Splinter had put himself between his remaining sons and this new threat.

He couldn't help realizing it.

Whether it was unconscious or intentional didn't matter, as it became clear that he was an outsider here.

Always …an outsider.

He couldn't stand it any longer, and was left with no other choice, he pull their attention to his wounds by dropping his blanket and exposing himself. It was only then that they bother to act like they cared. Yet, it couldn't make up for what had happen, something was wrong, or was this generally how they acted towards him? Was he only now recognizing it himself? Anyway, after that point, he had simply given them some excuse, and they had all left him alone.

Completely alone.

And, they wish he was a better brother?

The creature sneer at such a thought.

He would then touch the wound that drew the biggest attention. A sword strike, it had cut from one corner of his plastron to the other, and was still tightly wrap in bandages. There would be many days before it came off, but, it would seem that it wouldn't scar. This part of his body was more durable than the flesh that was mottled in brownish bruises …a far cry better in shading than it had been days prior when it was fresh. The long marks compare to the short ones show that it was two different weapons that had made them, and he smirks lightly.

He wonder if they had figured it out yet …. the part they had played?

The red mask turtle would shake his head.

No, they probably knew before he woke up.

He would flop back upon the pallet.

Turning his head towards the glass of water left near him ….in it's depth he finally saw what had cause the rift.

Amber eyes stare back, as the brownish bruise that cover half of his face made it stand out even more.

That bastard

He would have laugh if he didn't think he would have been heard.

A hand over his face.

He now knew …. he hadn't gone down without leaving his mark.

It would change nothing.

Master Splinter sat once more with his three sons around him in the dojo. Their eyes show their questions, and he wasn't able to answer them, so he looks away.

"What happen to his eyes?"

Michelangelo would blurt out loudly, and bring all attention to himself.

He had done good to do that here, and not in there.

His reward.

"I don't know my sons."

They were expecting more, but he couldn't give it to them.

"Is that still Raph in there?"

Leo would ask the hardest question. Master Splinter's mind race though everything he knew, everything he had seen or even read about, and still he knew he didn't have the answer. He wasn't even sure where to begin to look for an answer to that question. Yet, he force his mindset towards the most positive of answers, because, if it wasn't ….if he wasn't. He had no clue how to make it right, how to get him back. So, he would take a deep breathe as he answer, and he didn't hide the conflict from his eyes.

It was better they knew, then, they felt complete confidences in his answer.

"I think so."

"I can take a blood test to check and make sure."

Donnie would try and help out, which made Master Splinter smile at him. He wouldn't turn down any aid in this situation, but he knew the result of the test would only confirm what their eyes told them. It wouldn't tell them who was residing within. Raph had sunk deep, but, what had happen? How could he return from the darkness different than when he sunk in? Wounds of the soul when left untreated, can become physical wounds, and this …he knew. But, can wounds kill the soul and put a proxy in it's place?

He had never heard of such a thing.

He knew nothing of what was going on now, and he had no one to turn to for answer.

Yet, he had to make a choice.

"Yes, take your blood test, but until we know more …treat him the same as you always have. If something is wrong, it will become clear soon, and if this is only a cosmetic change brought on by his trauma …it will not do to alienate your brother."

He declares lightly as the other two nods, but his son in blue glares at him.

"What if it isn't? What if the change in his eyes mean something more?"

Master Splinter could only met that glare with his own concerns.

"Now isn't the time, later …."

He snorted lightly, a mimic of his hot headed brother. When he saw the expression of his father change, he realize it, as he looks down at the ground in shame of his flare of defiances. This strangeness, the days of stress, and guilt had made him react without thinking. Master Splinter saw the remorse there, and gave him a chance at redemption …as he said the words with a weariness he was hoping to hide.

"Leonardo, one cannot quarrel without an opponent."

"Hai, sensei."

The turtle in question would reply quickly, and with the answer he should had said from the beginning.

Now, the waiting game began.

(Chapter 7 - finished)


	8. Acceptance

It would be hours later that someone entered Master Splinter's room …as the brother in question would rouse with the light that fell across his face. Those amber eyes would lock on him, and Donatello would have to take a step back. He would quickly chide himself for his reaction, Master Splinter had told him to treat Raphael the same. And thus, he would quickly cover up his stumble by walking the rest of the way to him without any further incident as he sat down carefully on the floor. He had a plate in one hand that had his food, and in the other hand …he clutch at the black bag that house a few of his necessary medical supplies as he slip on the mask of doctor Donnie.

He would set the plate to one side, as he goes through his bag to pull out a syringe and a pill bottle.

He always hated this part of dealing with Raphael. His brother hated aid, medical or whatever, especially when he was feeling good enough that he could move around on his own. When he couldn't, well, he made you wish he was …so at the least when you failed to administer it ….you wouldn't have to watch the fall out of his stubbornness. The fall for grace generally made it harder than it was the first time to deal with his brother, and if there was some way around it.

But, no, it needed to be done.

Raph needs to eat and he needs to be treated.

He would have sigh if he wasn't in doctor donnie mode.

"I am going to take a blood sample to check for possibilities of infection I might have miss, and I brought you food, as well as a few antibiotic pills. I know it's over kill, but it's important that infections are dealt with quickly and as soon as possible, especially since, your wounds seem to be doing such a good job of mending. So, I don't want any complaints about having to take the medication….."

Those amber eyes stop his rant right there as his hand took the pill bottle from out of his hands. His red mask brother would unscrew the top, and take out the require dosage. They had done this plenty of times in the past, but Donatello had never realized that any of his brothers had pay much attention to how much they were suppose to take. They just trust him unconditionally to give them the right amount. Raph put down the bottle and grab his water as he gulp it down without a fuss.

He then looks back at his brother.

"No complaints, so, am I well enough to travel back to my room?"

The question caught him off guard. It was spoken in a voice that seem gruff, and if Donatello hadn't known any better he would say with a bit of a subservient attitude, …as though he would abide by his ruling no matter what it was. Yet, Donatello shook that one out of his head, because, that wasn't possible. Not Raph, not their Raphael, and thus, he declares in what he knew was really the only answer to this question.

"Just take it slow."

Raph nods, those amber eyes were lost in the shaking of his head. Thus, as he struggle to his feet, slowly …weakly after days of just laying down ….Donnie had reacted without thinking. He had hook his brother underneath one of his arms, and pull his arm across his own shoulders as he help him up. He did it with his red mask brother all the time, and he knew once he was on his feet, there would be harsh words. Still, he couldn't stand to watch him struggle no matter the outcome, but, once on his feet.

"Thank you."

The words from his hot headed brother surprise him as Donnie release him.

His eyes wide.

"I should say that to you more often."

That voice was his.

"Sorry, if I made you feel anyway other than …that I appreciate you."

That body was his.

"Don't look so slack jaw…I am still me. Just bein' unconscious for a few days, makes one think. I realize maybe, I hadn't been thinkin' too much about you or anyone's else feelings. So, you know, but if you tell anyone I said this, I won't be the only one needing medical attention."

But those words…

He smirked, the same way as always.

Nothing seem to have change as he turn his back on Donnie and limp towards his room. If it wasn't for those amber eyes …Donatello wouldn't have second guess this was his brother at all. Even though those words were way too mushy normally for his brother, but then again, after everything that happen. Suddenly something occurred to him ….

Donatello's mouth would drop open.

It would hit him like a pound of bricks.

He had just been play.

The syringe lay on the ground at his feet, unused, and the food uneaten.

Raph had given him one victory, and used it to win the war, or at least temporarily.

It was needless to say, that Donnie went after him, a battle insured, and for the moment …the family sounded the same. It was still whole, even though, slightly more bruise as Donatello sat on the couch with a new bruise on his face. Mikey snicker lightly as Leo looks at it, and wondered if maybe, Master Splinter was right.

Maybe, he was trying to quarrel without an opponent.

Two days later, ….and other than his amber eyes …everything was the same. Raph still got mad, he still did things that made everyone groan, but somehow ….it seem much tamer. He would battle all out in training, but he wasn't as ruthless as he used to be with Donnie and Mikey. He would still rival Leonardo, but, it didn't have that heat that made everyone wonder when it would explode. Master Splinter could correct his form, and it didn't turn into a death match for whoever had to deal with him afterwards.

Leo didn't want to say it.

He didn't want to think it.

Yet, he couldn't help admitting that things had gotten better since the incident. Maybe, whatever had scar his brother so badly inside had needed that physical release, and the blue mask turtle could only hope that it help him to achieve peace. He would open one eye as they meditate to see that Ralph was once more trying to sneak away.

No one really blame him for not liking meditation so much.

But, Master Splinter still want him to at least try.

Though the best they could achieve is getting him to sit down with them for a few moments. The minute that his breathing even out or he starts to sink even the tiniest bit …he was off like a streak, and this didn't go unnoticed by only Leo. The blue mask turtle turns a bit to see that Master Splinter had open one eye as well as their brother slink away. Then his eyes would meet his.

"Time will heal all wounds."

"We must be patience."

Leo would nod at his Master's words. Eventually Raph would get over his fear ….and maybe, he will talk to someone about what had happen. He had tried to get the information out of him, but, his brother had simply shrug it off or given a I don't remember comment that hardly seem true. Master Splinter had asked him about what had happen as well, and though he didn't get the brush off that he did …he still was no closer to the truth.

Whatever happen, it had change their brother.

Right now, it seem for the better, but …..only time would tell.

(Chapter 8 …finished)


	9. Danger

**(This is my longest chapter ...sorry about that. But, I couldn't continue it ...any further others, it would have been too long. Anyway, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and MERRY CHRISTMAS)**

Mikey would yawn widely. He would stretch his back and his arms as the time for meditation was over. Generally he took a nap during meditation, and normally had to be rouse by one of his brothers when it was over, but this time something felt off. He would look over at the group as Leo stood up, and once again, he would notice the oddity.

The number was off.

There was four where it should be five.

It should bother him, but he understood.

They all did.

Raph wasn't comfortable with this, and he kind of wish he had his excuse without the wounds to get out of it himself. He would stretch again as bones pop, and then he would stand up. A smirk came on his face as he thought about his brother in his room. It has been two days since he woke up, his injuries were for the most part gone. Yes, his skin was still a darker shade in a few places, and the bandages hadn't been remove yet, but, he was taking part in training now. He wasn't limping, and as far as anyone was concern he was pretty much back to normal.

That meant, he was no longer on bed rest, and neither was he out of prank limits for Mikey either.

He smiles as he gets up, and hurry from the room. His actions, he thought had been miss, but before he got halfway to his destination, a hand would grip his. Mikey would look back into darker blue eyes.

"I wouldn't do that, if I was you."

Mikey would look back and try to show confusion and innocences in his eyes as his eldest brother rolls his eyes at the puppy dog gesture.

"We are still trying to figure out things with him."

That would kill the mood completely as his facial expression changes to match his mood. Mikey would snatch his hand free of his older brother and round on him. The anger there wasn't characteristic of Mikey sparkle in his eyes. Not normally as violent, but just as volatile as his hot headed brother… Leo step back a few paces.

His younger brother's words came out almost as a snarl.

"IT's been two days, if he was a danger to us …it would have shown itself by now. If there was something wrong, we would know. No, this is just Raph, our brother. His eyes are different, but he is still just our brother, and I refuse to treat him any other way. That was after all Master Splinter's wishes."

The snap was sharp.

It should have stung, but Leo understood. Things were back to normal, if they avoided looking at his eyes …nothing had change. So, why treat it any other way?

"Fine, but go easy on him."

That bright smile was back, and Leo almost felt sorry for his red mask brother. Mikey probably had one heck of a prank in the making, five days was a long time to plan. He just thank his lucky stars it wasn't him, and went back towards the dojo. He had a few more katas he want to practice, and since he didn't know when Mikey was going to pull off his trick … he better take advantage of the peace and quiet while he could.

Though it would seem that life had other plans …for all of them.

Donnie would suddenly shout out.

"Hey …Hey, guys!"

His voice echoing around the lair as Mikey would stop at the top of the stairway, and Raph would be quick to come down it. The two almost collided, except, Raph chose that moment to duck to the left and brush past his brother, while Leo simply froze in the doorway of the dojo.

In Donnie's hand was a familiar device, and it was making noises that were hard to mistake for anything other than a confirmation.

"Another can of Mutagen is near by."

That declaration was quickly followed by all eyes turning to Raph, as the red mask turtle would only cross his arms.

"Don't even think about asking me to stay behind."

His voice was gruff and sincere.

"I don't see why they would."

Another voice would echo Raph's own, and this one would come from a source no one saw enter the room. Master Splinter stood a bit behind Leo. He must had heard Donatello and came out of the dojo. He looks over at the purple mask turtle to see if there was any complaints, but Donnie said nothing. Leonardo only shrugs

"Then let's get moving."

They would scatter to gather their weapons, and was gone almost as fast. The tracker was leading them above ground again, and this time ….it seem that it would be a solid lead as they found themselves quickly going from ground level to the roof.

Mikey was in the lead.

Normally, that would be Leo or even Donnie, but Mikey was running at full tilt this time. It was an eagerness that left two of his brother's confuse, but had the eldest sighing. Mikey wanted this over with so he could finish his prank, and if the orange mask brother wasn't just a few steps in front of him he would have put a stop to it. Rushing wasn't going to get this done any faster, and it was risky, but for the moment …according to Donnie they were far enough away that it didn't matter. When they got closer he would reign him in ….this was his thought. Raph suddenly had another …as he would put on a burst of speed as he shove into Leo hard. It would throw off his balance as he hits the ground with a skid. Though he wasn't through as his red mask brother pass him and seem to have plans of a similar fate for Mikey. He would slam hard into the back of his baby brother as he presses him flat even as he yells at the only one on his feet.

"Hit the ground."

Donnie didn't need any other prodding.

He dove as he slid to around Leo's waist only moments before something whiz by, and smash into the side of the building over his head. The explosion that follow had them skidding uncontrollably sideways as the force of the blast threaten to throw them from the top of the building. Leo's hand would grip Donnie's wrist as he pull him halfway underneath himself to try and protect him from raining debris that fell down afterwards, and to make sure he didn't end up a street pizza. The smoke thick from the ravage area as he sits up a bit once the world seems to stop shaking and the ear piercing noise settles into something that he can better understand.

"Look out!"

The words roaring as he looks forwards to see the smoke seemingly to part as another missile shot towards them. Though this one would be intercept in midair by a projectile that sent it screeching upwards and out of sight.

"Leo what are you doing? We got to get out of here!"

That was his hothead brother's voice, he had their orange mask brother in a similar state as he had their purple mask one. Relief colored Leo, they were all safe …or at least not dead, but, then he noticed something. Raph's eyes wasn't on him. It was forward into the distance as he grip his brother tightly, and didn't release.

Like, he could see something.

Something is wrong!

Leo searches for the danger in the area that his red mask brother was looking, but he couldn't pinpoint it.

The wind shifts then, and the thick black smoke made it more impossible to see than before. It was hopeless now, and Leo looks around himself expecting to be the last to leave. Yet, Raph was still at his side, and Donnie now on his feet hadn't left either. They were waiting, in a situation where generally that pause would have meant one of them would have been yelling at him to follow. A situation where, he could have counted on Raph to do what was best ….what they needed.

Yet….

"Let's go."

Leo finally gave the command.

He needed to give Raph a command to do something that should have been common sense. Their red mask brother would push his orange one ahead of him as they ran, the black smoke that made it impossible for them to see …also meant that they couldn't be attack again. Or at least that was his thought as suddenly he heard the whistling noise, his head would snap towards it, as he skids to a stop. He didn't know where it was coming from. He could be leading them towards it's area of impact, and Donnie would hit his back hard with his sudden stop. Mikey would stop just a few steps before he would have join the collision, but it wasn't enough to save him. Raph would add to the pile up and push them all hard into each other.

A single glance backwards.

Leo saw it in his eyes, and how his head was turned …..even before the orange flames blew the black away. Even before the scorching heat hit them from behind, and their world exploded into light and sound became so loud that it seem that he would never hear anything again. Before the ground shot up from underneath their feet …and he felt himself being lifted into the air.

Raph had seen it coming.

He knew.

Yet, he had done nothing to stop it.

Those were his final thoughts …as the explosion sent everything into darkness.

(Chapter 9 ….finished)


	10. Recovery

They had awaken on the fire escape, the 50 foot drop to their doom had miss them solely by sheer luck. Though the burns, bruises, and aches wouldn't as Mikey woke up first. His ears still ringing as the world seems to be full of this buzzing noise that made him fear if he would hear anything ever again. He would open his eyes slowly, and find that he could see just well, and upon rising would check and make sure he wasn't alone.

Three other bodies lay next to him.

Though one was perch dangerous half over the railing that was dented from the suddenly impact of his brother against it. Mikey would groan, but he would rise to pull his brother back to the side that didn't promise a head long drop into oblivion.

"What the shell happen?"

Another voice would groan near him. Mikey almost jumps at the sound as he realize that the buzzing was gone and he could hear.

"We fell off a building."

Mikey would tell Donatello as the turtle would wave one burnt and bruise hand at him.

"No really, what happen?"

"I am not kidding, we fell off of the roof."

That snap him awake, as the turtle in question would look around them to find that they were still together and for the most part whole. The broken and dented areas where pieces of the roof had hit around them made the evidence of Mikey's words pretty damning. Though the sudden movement did not coming without pain as he grimace, and touch the side of his head. It would come away with blood on it's tips.

"Let's get home, so I can better assess our injuries."

Donnie would declare as Mikey only rolls his eyes. Some things …were pretty obvious, and then the orange mask turtle would groan as he recognize what that meant. They would be carrying their other two brothers home, and aches, pains, and weight lifting did not go together well.

It was a slow trek home.

The two were place in the lab, once they got home, and Donnie dealt with their injuries as best as he could before he left the room to flop on the couch. Master Splinter was out, where? They never knew, but he would return sooner or later. For the moment, there was nothing they could do as he looks over at his orange mask brother.

"You okay?"

"Hurting."

Mikey would point to a bad bruise, and Donnie would smile as he took out the same cream he had been using on their brothers' wounds. With his two unconscious brothers taken care of, it was their turn now, and he went about the task with a much more compliant patient. He would deal with the bruise, and handle any other bad areas before he turn the supplies over to Mikey to do the same.

"Don't cover up my eyes this time."

He would scold him before he even started on his head wound.

His orange mask brother only smile widely before he set about the task.

"So, it was like a trap?"

Never silent for too long, Donnie would frown at his brother's words.

"It would seem like it …but I don't know who set it or even why."

"Maybe, they are getting smarter."

Mikey would add in. It didn't clarify who, but it was pointed at a past enemy.

"I don't know about smarter as …more vicious. I mean, the Shedder doesn't want us dead before he can get to Master Splinter. The Krang might want to eliminate us, but they would never do something that could bring that much attention on them. Whoever attack us obviously doesn't care about either."

The purple mask turtle thought ….as he dreads looking at the news later. The area was populated, and one of those missiles they had no account of where it had gone. He would turn his mind back towards the problem at hand.

"The purple dragons aren't that well ….furnish. No, I think …this is a new enemy."

Mikey would sigh at those words.

"I was kind of hoping you wasn't going to say that."

His voice was low ….as they all heard the unmistakeable sound of foot steps. Leo's hand would grab the entrances into the living room as he lean against it a bit. His eyes would glance over his two brothers, and they can see the tension ease a bit on his shoulders. They were all alive and safe …at least for the moment. Just for a moment, as Leo looks back at the room he had just left. There was no sense in waiting until later to do this, because, with him still unconscious, this was probably the best time to talk this out with his brothers.

Leonardo took a deep breathe before he spoke.

"Raph saw who was attacking us."

Those words would snap everyone's attention to him.

"He knew where they were, and he didn't do anything about it."

There was anger there ….accusation and a spark in his voice.

Mikey would jump to his defense.

"What could he do? They were shooting rockets at us!"

"Missiles."

Donnie would correct as Mikey turns on him.

"What's the differences?"

The purple band turtle would open his mouth to explain, but Leo would direct things back to the task at hand. His eyes were narrow, and he wasn't happy not in the least with this situation as he snarls out his answer.

"Raph would have charge towards the attacker. He would have acted as a diversion or something, instead of gathering us closer together. If they were close enough he would have thrown his sai at the weapon, something. But, he didn't …he even waited for my command to try and retreat.

That thing in there isn't our Raphael."

The words came out with a growl as he looks towards the room behind him again.

"Really, Leo, aren't you jumping to conclusions. I mean, he made some bad judgement calls before. After that trauma, maybe he is just a bit off his game."

Donatello would try to reason.

"No, this isn't simply bad judgement ….he didn't act like Raph does in a fight. He stuck close to Mikey to make sure he was alright, he waits for my commands, and ..he made sure he was where he could be seen so not to worry us. "

That last part came like a light bulb in his head. Leo hadn't thought about it prior to saying it out loud, but once out there, it sounded right.

"And, those things are bad ….because?"

Mikey would ask slowly, and realization would dawn on the violet mask turtle at those words as he answer for Leo.

"That's not how our Raphael works. He is reckless, quick to react, and definitely not the one to take being fired on lightly. Do you think he is working with our attacker?"

"No."

That part Leo was sure of, but it was only that part.

He didn't like this, not at all.

"I am going back to the lab."

No one question that sudden declaration, as he walks back wobbly into the lab.

Donnie's own confirmation had been enough for Leo as the door shuts behind him quietly.

He now knew what he had to do, but he left behind two confuse brothers as one spoke in a near whisper.

"What do you think he is going to do?"

Mikey ask, and Donnie only shakes his head.

"There are somethings ...we are better off... not knowing."

(Chapter 10 …finished)


	11. Distress

Colors churned and span.

Raph fell deep and fast as his own colors were pulled away.  
He dropped into the dark blackness, his features dissolving until only a black creature with amber eyes remained.

He landed in a kneeling position in front of another creature of his own kind. It was black all over with only a wide grin to show anything of his personality. Two amber eyes widened in surprise. It had changed; this creature of darkness now sported two five-fingered hands. It slowly stepped out of darkness as it smiled at him. Its only feature was those gleaming white teeth. It was proof that everything was going as plan as the amber eye creature's kneeling would shift to a respective sitting that gave this new creature his full attention.

_"They are happy with you?"_ Those ambers eyes would answer in place of his missing mouth.

The creature's smile grew.

_"Good …Good, keep it that way. It won't be long before you are the permanent resident of this body, and me…. I will be free."_ He twisted his hands in front of his eyeless face. It would seem almost as if he was marveling at them.

_"Now return. I am sure they are worried about you."_ Those amber eyes sparkled in delight at such a thought, and then ….he woke up.

Amber eyes blinked as he looked up at the ceiling. the single light in the room drove away the darkness. It made it clear that he was okay, but the lancing of pain through his body made him amend this thought to "mostly". He shifted his body, guessing he had a few minutes alone. He almost slid back the other way when he turned to see dark blue eyes glaring at him from the darkness. He chuckled lightly to himself.

"Geesh, Leo, give a turtle a heart attack why don't ya?"

There was no response.

"No one should have to wake up to the sight of your ugly mug."

"Quit acting like him." Those words cut him off. Amber eyes narrowed as he sat up all the way. His focus completely locked on his brother.

"What are you talkin' about Leo?"

The blue mask turtle rose at those words.

"You aren't Raph."

The turtle in front of him huffed and looked down at himself.

"You're crazy. Hit your head a bit too hard on the roof there. Let's see: green skin, three fingers, a shell... Geesh, if I ain't Raphael, then who am I?"

It sounded just like his brother. A flicker of doubt came across his senses, but then those amber eyes looks up at him.

"I don't know who or what you are, but you aren't Raph. You sound like him, you act like him, but you don't fight like him."

That last one made the creature in front of him snarl.

"I have one fucking off day, and you think I'm someone else." The familiar anger was showing its head, but it wasn't as hot. Leo noticed how his eyes didn't lock on his, but instead seemed to find a place beyond him like he was trying to remember his lines as opposed to trying to scorch his will into his brother. All doubt dissolved as Leo stood and stalked over to his brother. He didn't move, nor does he rise to challenge, the action. Too injured... No, not Raph. Leo reached out and pressed his weight down on his brother's shoulders, forcing him to lay back down. The creature struggled, but was mindful of his strikes. None to damaged areas, more flailing than force... Definitely not Raph. When Raph was angry, he didn't give a damn as to whom he hurt, but this one did. This one didn't want to injure him more than necessary.

Now was the time to strike.

"What happened to you? What happened in the bathroom?" "Get off of me," the struggling turtle snapped back. "Tell me, where is Raphael?"

"What in the shell is wrong with you; I AM him!"

The sound of a sword being pulled from its scabbard stopped him cold. His struggles had gone from being against two hands to one, and the blade appeared alongside his face. Amber eyes narrowed as his brother leaned into him, and their twin reflections were distorted in the shine of the sword. This had become serious.

"Answer me or else." Amber eyes would locked onto dark blue.

"Or else what? You will kill your own brother?" Leo didn't flinch as he heard those words, and his own response slid from between his lips. The words echoed in the lab as though the room couldn't believe what had been said. It echoed as though it needed to be clarified or better understood. Those words, spoken slowly and with a chill that could freeze the air, made the struggling turtle go still.

"Never, but YOU are NOT my brother."

Master Splinter had traveled far from the Lair. He didn't know where to go for his answers, but when he was meditating, something pulled him here. It'd nagged at him, and with his sons gone he saw no reason not to pursue it. His body slipped easily between the fallen rocks as he climbed even higher than before. He was scrambling towards something important, but he didn't know what it was. His ears twitched a bit as his tail whipped out behind him.

Movement.

Something small and white tumbled down to greet him.

Its ears went up just like his, and it gave an uncharacteristic smile.

Master Splinter would recognize it from anywhere.

Yet, he trust his senses. He trusted himself enough not to strike out.

The little white rat straightened its whiskers as Splinter thought to himself,

_The Rat King is dead..._

_...But whoever said that he was the one pulling all the strings?_

(Chapter 11 ...finished)

**(Yay, I have a beta-reader now. I have a beta-read, and they are so awesome. So the fact that this read better is all thanks to them. Thank you so much kame otaku)**


	12. Reflect

In a world of billions, he stands alone,

Even though they are all around him,

the ones that look like him,

live like him,

but do not think like him.

Isolation and loneliness are all he has left.

And it was all this creature's fault.

Aristotle's tail flicked as he looked at the only one who could understand him. His enemy, the one that killed his master and stuck him in this isolated hell. He glared at him before he hissed fully and openly in his face. His ears flattened completely against his skull as he made it a point to bare his teeth. No one would question his actions or are ask why he didn't go further. He should attack, but there was no aura of danger coming from this creature. His instincts roared against him, for this was a fight he couldn't win, but for the moment he brought what should have been a flying and biting leap upon the creature's face to a halt.

The white rat only continued to watch.

The man rat didn't even flinch at his actions, nor did he back down as he shifted his position to sit in front of him.

They would either talk, fight, or the small rat would run away. Either way, it was out of his hands as he finally felt the touch of his mind. His heart rate rose, but he calmed himself. Before, he had always associated this touch with horror because behind it rode the commands that would rip away his will power and threaten harm upon his own family. But the Rat King was dead, and he had nothing more to fear from it. This creature, this rat, had no power.

Though the creature could simply reach out one hand and smash him flat, the rat man didn't make any such move. He merely waited for Aristotle to make up his mind. To make his choice, for he recognized that touch of his mind easily. It was the touch that would flick his eyes red only moments before that voice would chime in his head. The commands given, the impulse almost impossible to ignore. Yet, he had somehow done it. He had escaped, and rage coursed through the rat as he remembered what it had cost him.

He was a key.

He opened minds.

Yet, only the Rat King could command them.

With him gone, he was a key that opened a door that no one else can go through. A rat that was so alone. Despite his appearances, he was more man in mind than rodent. He no longer spoke their language, and with that lost, he was shunned: an exile that had no where to go, and no one to deal with, for rats are not solitary creatures, and he had only one friend. One creature that could truly understand him, and with him gone...

Nothingness.

He hissed again, but Master Splinter was patient.

The white rat hadn't run away in all of that time, and only sat in front of him showing off his rage, sorrow, and desperation. Splinter knew, the rat's instincts told him, that the answers to what had happened to his son rested in front of him, that if he lost it, it would disappear from him grasp forever, and with it would go something much more important and precious. For that reason alone, he sat in silence. He refused to make the first move, and as the silences stretched awkwardly, he could see that the hatred of the rat was slowly dissolving. It was draining out as his sorrow would surface, and than it would turn to despair and desperation as the white rat finally made up his mind.

/What do you want?\

The voice was new:

A door that he had forced shut,

the rat had easily opened.

Splinter's ears opened fully as he arches up a bit in his surprise. The Rat Master looked down at this small creature, and he finally understood. He knew why his instincts had driven him here. He took his time and answered the creature fully.

The light cast a sinister glow through the room. Shadows seemed to split and rise above both turtles as the words circled them both, keeping them from escaping. It was only after he had said it that Leo realized his mistake. He had only wanted to force a confession, but instead he had brought them to the point of no return. The words he spoke called for blood, and left no room for any other resolution. His words condemned them to a fight to the death. His real brother would flinch at the challenge. He would want to back out, but hurt and anger would make him lash out, and the moment that happened...

Leo looked down at his sword.

He couldn't back away, not from those words.

Leo hadn't given himself any room to let him go, either. He'd promised there would be blood, and he couldn't back away; not from his own words.

Yet…..

"You don't mean that." Raph reached up slowly and moved the point of the sword away from his flesh. He had no fear, no worries, as he did it with a calmness that Leo didn't think his red mask brother possessed. The words had done more damage to the one who had spoken them than the one they were meant for. As he sat up, the hand that Leo had been using to hold him down disappeared almost as fast as the blade had been pushed away.

Time seemed to slow.

Amber eyes burned into dark blue.

"Never …say that …again."

Raph slid from the table slowly, and Leo didn't do anything to stop him. His shoulder brushed against his, but he didn't turn to look. He kept his eyes forward, and Leo didn't move from where he stood until he heard the door shut quietly behind him. Then, only then, did his legs give out and he slumped to the floor bonelessly. His sword clattered against the ground as he realized what he had done, what he had almost done, and he wasn't sure what was stronger: shame or relief. Nonetheless, he was glad at that moment, glad that he could feel those things, instead of what it could have been.

It was a few minutes before Leo rejoined his family.

Everyone was in the living room, and their eyes were locked on the television. As he looks over to see what they were watching, the familiar sight of the space robot helped him to relax further as he sat on the couch next to his violet masked brother. Those brown eyes broke their connection with the television to look at him questioningly, and almost as if there was a silent signal, his orange mask brother did the same. Leo let out a deep breath. The action spoke louder than any words as Donnie looked over at the red masked turtle on the opposite side of the couch. He shrugged and then turned his attention back to the television. Mikey almost gave a smug grin before his eyes went back to the screen.

He was right.

Despite how he was acting,

despite how he looked,

The red mask turtle in the room..

...was still their brother.

(Chapter 12 ...finished)

(Once again, I am giving a lot of thanks for this chapter being release to my Betareader, kame otaku. Best BETA ever!)


	13. Finale

It was late, and everyone was asleep when he came home. The larger rat was almost dragging himself along, his ears flattened horribly against his skull. He could deny a lot of things, but he couldn't dispute what he had been told. His tail flickered out behind him as it was dragged along, and he closed his eyes as the small white rat shifted itself on his shoulder.

He had to see for himself.

Splinter knew the folly in bringing him here,

but he had to know if it was true.

Fear made him sink to the floor in his room. He crossed his legs and closed his eyes as he allowed the quiet and the calm to guide his mind. The little rat had no trouble in sinking deep, and Master Splinter found himself in a hard place to follow. The creature wasn't just privileged to the mind of only those of his species; he could open the door to any mind. It was the Rat King's power that was restricted, and in that restriction they were lucky.

They entered the same place Splinter had been before:

Raphael's subconsciousness.

The battle colors were still all around them, and now that he knew what they meant, he felt his heart constricted even more. His lost son had tried to help them and had left signs to warn them. Even after his demise, the flashes of colors hadn't stopped, and the darkness below that prevented him from going further was still there. It was a barrier to keep his family safe, and the creature was trapped within.

He had tried his best to protect his family, despite what was happening to himself.

Master Splinter swallowed back tears at the thought as he found himself stopping at the border of darkness once more. Yet, the white rat had no problems. It merely touched a spot, and the darkness parted around him with ease, so Master Splinter simply followed.

Down,  
Down,  
Down, they dropped.

Finally, at the end of their journey, he found it. A creature with a blackened form stood with a huge smile on its face. The creature had two hands with five fingers each, and the same could be said of his toes. Long legs now seemed to accompany what he had been told would be a shapeless from. It was still hard to identify what it was, but the creature that sat at its heels was another matter. A turtle in shape, but darkness upon darkness made him up. Those familiar amber eyes fell upon the rat master as the creature turned to face him with its arms crossed...

The gesture was a mockery of his lost son.

Master Splinter missed the movement of the dark creature. The rat hissed, and that alone alerted him of its intentions. He snapped his eyes back to the real threat in this world.

"So, you have finally come," the dark creature said with a grin as it stepped in front of Splinter.  
The grin turned into a smirk as it said its next words:

"Took you long enough; your son swore you would save him. He was determined to last until you came, and in his final moments he screamed your name. So, in his place, I will say these words. Welcome, Master Splinter."

The creature gave a bow that made the Rat Master grow cold, then hot. He bared his fangs and arched his back in a matter that resembled a rat, but his mind was clear. Those words were daggers in his heart, but he had heard them before. He knew his son's fate, and thus he was able to calm the rage that clawed at his heart.

Now wasn't the time to strike.

"WHY?" Master Splinter's words barely contained his fury as the tension seemed to rise. The creature that had been smiling suddenly didn't find its own situation so funny anymore. It had been expecting something else, something it could manipulate. Splinter had given it none of that, and, almost as if beckoning, the amber eyed turtle spoke in his place as a mouth appeared on its dark face.

"Why? Why kill him… or do you mean, why him?

"To answer that why, it's because that is what they wanted. Your other sons were sick of his attitude, his issues, and thus, they wished for him to change …for me to become him.

"They are happy with this change," his red masked son's voice retorted. The dark turtle was using Raphael's voice to explain this situation, and Master Splinter had to calm himself again. A pain in his heart stirred as he realized with a chill that this would be the last time he heard it. That once he was done… The older rat snapped his mind back to what was going on in front of him. The dark turtle wasn't finished yet; it had only answered one why.

"As for his death… Well, that wish belonged to another. Though he will be much happier when it extends to the rest of your family, we aren't here to grant that wish; only one per customer." The dark creature gestured to the dark turtle. The creature looked at him, and the dark turtle went silent as his mouth vanished.

Was it a rebuttal for saying too much?

The dark creature's words flowed like honey as it continued where the dark reptile had left off.

"Why did I do this? To gain my freedom; by fulfilling the wishes of others, I gain my freedom. Though, there are few that can hear me, and rarer still those that can house me. In this exchange, I got all I ever wanted and more, and so did those that asked for it."

He saw the sadness in Master Splinter's face at those words. The creature's arrogant attitude seemed to dissolve at the sight of the rat's eyes. It was not a cruel creature, and it truly preferred a much more peaceful resolution of this matter. Thus, it moved onwards to another tactic—acceptance: there was nothing that the rat master could do. Nothing could change the past. It was over, and the dark creature thought he could win this battle on rationale and logic alone.

"Your son is gone, and he is here to stay," he murmured as he gestured towards the dark turtle.

"Your other sons have accepted him fully, and to dislodge me now means to kill all that they have left of your lost son. Give it time, you will accept these changes and, perhaps, even feel they were for the best. He is everything your son was, without everything you wish he was not.

"He is… better than the one you lost." It was these foolish thoughts and careless words that made the usually calm, collected Splinter snap.

The dark turtle shifted forward a bit. It put himself between the creature and Master Splinter as he lunged. The grief had turned to rage in the blink of an eye. His fist tightened as that rage give way to loathing, and when that anger soon turned to violence, the dark creature suddenly realized the danger they were in. It was too late to take back his words, to bargain or reason as Master Splinter suddenly growled.

"You will pay."

In the world of darkness and nothingness, a war was waged. A fight for that which was lost. A fight that couldn't be won. A fight of desperation and a broken heart. A fight that ends and begins in darkness.

The three brothers woke that morning.

They went about their morning tasks.

They ate breakfast, and then went to the dojo to train. It was then that three knew they should be four, and thus, one went to gather the missing member. He walked to his room and pushed open the door. The door swung open without a sound. It normally squeaked horribly, and his brother would never let anyone do anything about it. Yet, with things changing so, it wasn't hard to believe his red mask brother had fixed it himself.

A smile graced his face.

It was just another hint of his new found consideration.

Without fear he walked to the hammock.

He expected him to arise before he gotten halfway across the room.

Yet, he didn't stir.

He was sleeping much deeper than normal.

No problem, though.

He took one hand and shook his shoulder.

No response

Fear started to color his new perception as he inspected his brother closer. The calmness of the morning was suddenly split with the sound of panic. A scream, a shout for help, and the dojo was left abandoned.

A small white rat clambered from underneath the living room sofa once he heard the scream.

He flicked his whiskers and smiled in a way that spoke volumes of what he had done. His eyes scanned the room, and stop at the door where their Rat Sensei exited slowly. His fur was a mess and his eyes were red and puffy. The deed was done; he had stopped a bigger tragedy. Yet, he couldn't prevent the one that had already occurred.

They would never know they lost their brother four days ago.

Aristotle left the way in which he came.

He scampered away and left the family to grieve.

He smiled.

_They had been given a better brother; one that would, as they desired, be everything they ever wanted._

_Everyone's wish had been granted._

_(THE END)_

**(Once again, I want to thank my wonderful beta-reader, whom without this would haven't reach it's end. Gives three cheers for ****kame otaku**)


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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Family, Supernatural