Instant Star 1. prologue

**The Road I Am On**

_**Prologue**_

_ Decisions need to be made._

_Some have the Power to change your life. To turn it upside down..._

_ Some that seem really big, turn out to be minor afterwards..._

_The decisions that usually influence us the most, are the ones, we don't make ourself._

_ ... and usually they are the ones, that hurt the most..._


	2. Life's a lot to think about sometimes

**Life's a lot to think about sometimes**

„Bye girl... I love you" he said quietly into her ear, holding her close, enjoying the last dance they would have for a very long time. „It will work out!" she said, more trying to convince herself, than him. She looked into his dark eyes. She was sure, that he was the one, she would always love.

He had taken her to this party at a friends house instead of spending her last night in Medora just with her. They had decided that this would be more fun. Doing what they had always loved to. She finally separated, slowly letting her arms gliding down his arms. He entwined their fingers and then lead her into the kitchen. Handing her a beer. He looked at her. „You are beautiful" he said, smiling lovingly. She hated to leave.

She loved being here, had always looked forward to her Senior year. She was the one that was supposed to be the Captain of the Cheerleaders this year. She was one of the most popular and well known girls in the School. She loved being around the girls she had grown up with. They were the only ones she had ever been able to trust. She was dating the most popular guy in school.

Now she had to let go of all of that, just because her Dad decided that moving to California now was the right thing to do. Her little sister was about to start kindergarden, which was the reason to move now, because they did not want her to have to change schools. She was the oldest. An accident so to say. Her mom had been 16 whenever she got pregnant. Just a little older than Jude was now, whenever she was born, but her parents got married and they stayed together ever since.

When she was ten, she got a little brother and the year afterwards a little sister. Now her mom was pregnant again and ready to move into their new villa in Laguna Beach, California.

„I will miss you!" her best friend blurted out now, hugging her tight. Jude could tell that Kat was drunk. She always got emotional, whenever she drank. „I'll miss you too!" Jude admitted, leaning a little closer to Ryan, who had his arm around her shoulders. She tried to smile, but she realized more and more that this would be the last night with her friends. „I will miss you all so much!" she mumbled and turned around to face Ryan's muscular chest, so that nobody would see the tears that started to run down her cheeks.

She was glad that her make-up was water resistant, because she did not want her friends to remember her as a ugly girl. She faked as milke whenever they finally left the Party at the break of dawn. She knew that she would probably be in trouble, because she was home so late, but she did not care. Why would she? It did not matter to her, if she would be grounded, it was not like she had any friends in California that she would want to hang out with anyway. She would be lonely, a freak.

„Where were you?" her mother yelled when they entered the house, that was as good as empty by now and Judes heart dropped. She had grown up here. She loved this house. She had always dreamed of raising her own children in there someday, somewhen, whenever the time was right. Not at the age of sixteen, although she suddenly wished she was pregnant, she wished, she was married to Ryan and they could not make her go, but she knew that she did not have a choice anymore.

She faced him once more and again could not hold her tears back. „I am here now, or am I not?" She snapped at her mother, hiding her tears. She hated to cry and it was like the only one she could handle seeing her in this condition was Ryan. „We thought you ran away!" she said in a loud voice and her dad appeared in the kitchen, giving her an understanding smile. „There you are, girl!" he said, rubbing her back once. Giving Ryan a friendly smile.

He had been the first boyfriend she ever had, that he actually liked, although he was good looking and knew it, he had always known that he would take care of his little girl. Also Victoria and he himself had been like the two of them, back then. He knew that Jude felt like her life would be over. And that she hated them for making her move, but it was the right thing to do. If he could change it, he probably would not have married Victoria, but it was something he had to do. Just as moving and destorying Jude's life. It was one of those decisions that needed to be made.

„Do you have all your stuff in your car?" he asked her. He felt so bad for making her move. They had always been close. So much closer than her and her mom had ever been. They were more similar than Jude and her mom. It broke his heart to see the tears that were still in her eyes and seeing Victoria leaning against the kitchen counter, still giving her daughter an angry smile. „Don't be mad at her, Vic!" he said, getting closer to his wife. „It was her last night!"

He knew that Victoria would not forgive her daughter that she did not obey her curfew, that she had obviously been drinking last night, what was easy to tell by the stains that were still on her shirt, but she obviously was not drunk anymore. He knew that Victoria wondered what they did. If her daughter might have done the same mistake as they had, whenever they were young, but Stuart trusted Jude, he knew that she was responsible.

„Let's get the kids!" he said to Victoria and made her leave the kitchen with him, leaving his almost grown up daughter and her boyfriend behind. „He's a great dad!" Ryan realized. He had expected that Jude's mom would kill him for bringing her home this late and he knew that she would have, if Stuart had not been there.

Again he made Jude look into his eyes. „You know I love you, right?" he said again. He had stopped counting, that was how often he had used those words in this night. He had never expected to actually be able to use them at all. He had not thought that he would be able to tell a girl something like that, but he realized she was the one and it hurt him so bad that she was getting ready to leave his life for good.

She was crying and he felt bad for that. „But..." he said, caressing her cheek. „I let you go!" It hurt him and he could tell that he was hurting her, but he knew that it would not work out, with her being more than a 30 hour car ride away. They would not work out. He would not cheat on her as long as she was there, but he was not sure, if he could keep on doing that, whenever she was not there, so this was the best thing to do...

„ You are breaking up with me?" she managed to ask under her sobs, distancing herself from him, trying to find support from the counter. He lowered his gaze. He could not look into her eyes. „I am sorry girl, but that is the best thing. You should be open for something new. It will be the best thing for you to cut off all your bands to here. Which would be me..." „But what about College... we can still go to the same college..." She said, desperate for him to take back the words he just used. „I am sorry, Jude... I ... I have to go!"

He had to leave, he would take it back otherwise. He had thought of this for so long, but it was right. He had to convince himself that it was right. That it was right to let her go and find someone. Find someone there she could get old with, because he knew, no matter how much he loved her, no matter how much she loved him, neither of them would be able to leave their families...


	3. When you're living in between the lines

**You're living between the lines**

She was glad that she had to bring her own car down there. That she would get her own Hotel room, whenever they would stop. That she could get away. Had he only been waiting for her to leave to break up with her or was his only intention to make it easier for her? Because if that was the case, he did an awful job.

Jude was suprised that she was able to drive. She had been shaking when she left the house. She still was not totally sober. She had make up all over her face, but she only wanted to get away. And for the first time she was glad that she had a gps thing in her car. Not that that was really necessary on a highway. She turned her stereo up as loud as it was possible, constantly driving faster than she was allowed to.

She knew that she would be in trouble if a policeman would even get close to her. Not only did she drink, but her music was too loud, she was too fast and it would probably be possible to sue her for driving in the mental condition she was in, if she would get into a wreck, but honestly, she could care less.

She did not answer the phone, seeing that he was calling, she did not care, did not want to care. Did not want to hear, what he had to say. It would hurt too much, to hear his voice. She still did not understand, how he could do this to her. Her phone rang again and this time it was her mom. „What?" she yelled into the phone. She didn't tell her parents what had happened. She did not really expect them to care anyway. Her mom would not. All she cared about were her little siblings and the baby. The baby sister she was going to have, or the brother. She did not care anyway.

„Where in the world are you?" her mom said, using the tone only mother have. Jude tried to calm herself, trying not to be a bitch for once. „I am on the highway?" she said and realized that that was probably exactly the immature answer her mother had expected. Jude could hear, that she was about to say something, when her dad told her to hand him the phone.

They had decided to leave her car in Indiana und buy a new one in California, but Jude's Mercedes wasn't even a year old so it wasn't a question that she had to take it with her and there was no way her dad would give up his Range Rover, so the rest of her family was stuck in there, probably listenting to kids' songs all the way. Jude almost smiled at the thought of that.

„I don't care how far you drive tonight, Jude, just drive responsible and stop, if you get tired, please be careful, babe!" She stopped breathing. He knew. „I love you, daddy..." she said and the tears started floating again. „I do too... and so does he..." maybe he didn't. „We..." She could not say it. She cried so hard that she had to slow down, because she could not totally see the street in front of her anymore. „He..." she started again, but could not finish her sentence. „What is wrong, Baby?" he asked her.

She could hear her mother asking in the background what was going on. Why they talked so long. She wondered why she was not yelling at her already for allowing her to stay in a different Hotel, than they did, but maybe she didn't even hear it. She probably was too busy taking care of all her other kids.

Her tears disappeared as fast as she had started crying again, leaving her even more soaber than she had been before. She could tell that her thoughts kept on getting clearer, while her anger grew. „Nevermind, Daddy... I love you!" She hung up. She did not want him to know it, yet. Also her dad had alwys been able to tell, when she was mad at her mom and she was about to freak out again.

Maybe she was a jealous bitch, maybe she was jealous of her siblings, but there had been so many times she would have needed a mom, especially whenever Stuart had barely been home and she was about to change from a kid into a young women. There had been so many things she was not able to talk about with Stuart, but although Victoria had been home, she did not take the time, to talk to her...

Her thoughs kept on racing, even when she finally decided to stop and stay in a cheap hotel. She knew that her dad would not care how much a room would cost, but she did not feel the need for luxus. She wanted her surroundings to be as crappy as she felt. She fell asleep as soon as she lay her had on the pillows and slept until the next morning. That was when she had to realize that even her thoughts were still racing, but still she somewhat felt better and realized that she would live...


	4. And all the stars they sparkle and shine

**All the stars sparkle and shine everyday**

He threw the picture frame angry into the box that was placed on the bed. He did not care that he heard the glass breaking as soon as he threw the book that fell into his hands next. „Tommy" he heard the familiar voice behind him. He turned around and saw her standing in the door frame. „What?" he almost yelled, suprised by how rough his voice was. „I..." she gave him a long look. His expression never changed. He was through with her. They were done. He did not care what she was going to say. It was too late. Too late to fix it. „I am sorry!"

He could not suppress the itter laughter that escaped his lips. „I am sure!" he said in a tone that could almost be described even more bitter. „Please" excaped her lips quietly. „Don't go!" He just shook his head. „You should have thought about that, before you slept with my best friend, Portia!"

Tommy Quincy had always been known as a player, but when he had married Portia that night in Las Vegas, he had been sure. Although he was just 22 he had been sure, that she was the one for him, the one he wanted. His brother Chris, had told him, that he was crazy, that she was not the one for him and again he had been right.

Chris always seemed to be right. He was the greatest big brother anybody could wish for. He always was right, but Tommy had never expected to get cheated on. He was the one all the girls fell for, but obviously he wasn't able to have a healty relationship. „I really love you!" She was crying now, but he just shrugged, grabbing the box, a suite case and a duffle bag and leaving the rest behind. He did not care in that moment. He somehow managed to get all that into his Viper, before he got out his phone and called Chris.

„She cheated on me!" he blurted out as soon as his big brother answered. „What in the world?" Chris mumbled and Tommy realized that he had still been asleep, probably having some blonde women, whose name he had already forgotten by his side. But that wasn't really suprising, since it was 4:30 in the morning. He heard him yawn and he could formally hear the words he had used earlier hit his brother. „She what?" he exclaimed. „She cheated on me!" Tommy repeated angrily, because he realized that he had started crying.

„No she did not!" Chris said, not believing what Tommy had told him. „I caught her!" Tommy stated and started the engine of his car. „She sure did!" „Crap!" Chris said now totally awake. „What are you gonna do?" he asked and Tommy could hear him moving his sheets and probably getting up. „I just got my stuff and now I am in my car!" Tommy said, ignoring that the traffic light just turned red...


	5. life's so hard to move in sometimes

**He said life's so hard to move in sometimes**

Both of them slammed the breaks. Both cars started to turn, but luckily both had reacted fast enough. _„Crap!"_ Jude exclaimed, breathless. She wasn't able to move, felt like she was paralized.

She had not expected anybody else to be on the street in this outer part of Laguna at this time. She had tried to listen to what her gps system told her, trying to find the way, to the house she had never seen, but that was going to be her home for the next months until she would start going to college.

Still her music was loud and she was not sure if she was the one that had run the traffic light or if it had been him. Maybe it was neither of them and they had just crossed the street at a unlucky time. Maybe, maybe not, she really did not know.

Could not tell at all. The music was still flooding the car and she moved her hand to turn it of. Leaving the car only with the sound of her breathing, what felt comforting after all those hours with loud music

_„Shit"_ he yelled and probably scared Chris as much as he was scared himself. „_What happened?"_ he heard his brother's voice from somewhere. _„Tom?"_ He wasn't able to answer.Also he was not sure, what he did with his phone. Holing the steering wheel in both hands now.

He had never been in a wreck before. He wasn't even yure if he had ever been this scared to die. He tried to calm himself down. Seeing his phone next to his foot he grabbed it. _„I am alright... I'll call you later!"_ He hung up and opened the door. Some glass was shattered all over the ground, but he was not sure where it came from.

Slowly he got closer to the other car, seeing a young women sitting in there. Shaking. She was beautiful even in this condition and she seemed to be okay. Slowly he got closer to her door, knocking softly against the window int he attempt not to scare her, but that did not really work out to well, she still jumped.

He motioned for her to open the door and slowly she started to move again, unbuckling her safety-belt.

She carefully opened the door and he totally opened it for her. „_Are you okay?"_ he asked her, offering her his hand, to help her out of her Mercedes that he could not help but notice, even in this situation. _„I think so!"_ she mumble, slowly crawling out of the car, still shaking.

_„That was scary!"_ she said, leaning agains her car. Looking around as if just now realizing what had happened. „_I am so sorry!"_ he said, caressing her arm. _„Do you think you are hurt?"_ Looking down to her feet as if she was checking whether they were still there or not, she shook her head no. _„Are you?"_ she asked him. Now looking at him for the first time.

_„I don't think so."_ he mumbled just as she realized how good looking he was.

„_Jude Harisson"_ she introduced herself, stretching out her hand over to him. He carefully took it in his. „_Tom Quincy_!" he introduced himself and gave her a smile.

_„That was really scary"_ she repeated and he gave her a smile. „_Yep_" he supported her statement. _„I guess... I don't know. I am pretty sure it was my fault, so if you want to call the police..."_ he offered and moved into a more comfortable position against her car.

He realized that the glass on the ground was neither from his nor from her car, which caused him to relax a little bit more._ „I don't know..."_ she said looking at him. _„I mean nothing happened. Maybe it is enough if we just exchange telephone numbers, just in case..." _she mumbled the last part and he gave her another smile.

_„Sure..."_


	6. And no one even cares to ask me

**And no one even cares to ask me...**

She hadn't bothered to tell her parents what had happened. They had been in Laguna for three days now. Her parents had arrived the afternoon after she had, but their maid had already been waiting for her and the house had been prepared so that it really did not matter whether they were there or not.

Her room was beautiful. She could even see the ocean, but it did not seem as amazing to her as the forrest she could see from her room in Indiana and the blue sky. The house did not have the same atmosphere as the house up there that had been owned by her dads family for generations before they even moved it. It just was not quite as amazing... at least it did not seem to her.

Her little sister and brother were basically living in the Pool now and her mom was leaving all the responsibility to unpack to the maid.

Jude sure loved her room. It was big and bright. The walls were of a cream colour and most of her furniture was black, leaving some room for a few red accents. Her Laptop was placed on her desk, but it was not even turned on. Her Blackberry was lying on the nightstand right next to some candles, somebody had bothered to make her feel more comfortable. Most of her clothes had been send and were put into the closet classified in various ways. All her shirts hung together going from dark shirts (a lot) over various colours (very little) to cream and white (quite a few).

She finally turned around in her bed, grabbing her phone looking for the one number, she had thought about calling the last few days, since she had reached the house. Again she scrolled down to his name, placing her thumb on the key with the green phone...


	7. Why I feel this way

**... why I feel this way**

He was lying on the couch in his brother's appartment. Chris had gone out, again, as every night and suddenly Tommy felt bad for him.

There was nobody who cared that he slept with a different girl every night. Nobody was waiting for him at home.

He knew that he did not want to end up like this. He knew that there was somewhere that girl, that would make him happy.

He knew that there must be the girl that could entertain his brother for a longer time.

A sigh escaped his lips, when he realized that Chris had thought that he had found the one too.

Whenever he had been in College he had been crazy about a girl and Tommy had never seen him that happy, but she finally broke his heart, doing the same thing Portia had done to him, but he realized, that Portia had not been the one for him, because he was not devastated, sure he was sad and hurt, but it was not killing him, not the way it had been killing Chris back than.

He decided to turn the TV on, zapping through the various channels. Making the room glow in different colours each time he changed it.

He did not know what he was looking for, but for some reason ended up on a music channel. He leaned back and stared at the ceiling watching the colour change over and over again, listening to the music, but not really hearing the lyrics.

He would not have realized that the noise he heard was his ringtone, if his phone was not vibrating too.

He got it out of his pocket smiling when he realized that it was not Portia who was trying to call him again. But then his face dropped, there was probably something wrong with either her or the car and that was the reason why she was calling... why else would she call him...


	8. I know you feel helpless and

**I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone**

She realized that she probably scared him by calling he was probably thinking that something was wrong. „_Hello_?" the voice on the other end of the line said and she took a deep breath.

„_Hey_" she said staring at the ceiling, asking herself why she had called him in the first place, what did she want to say? She had thought about whether she should or shouldn't call him for so long, that she did not bother to think of what to say at all.

_„Is everything okay?"_ he asked her and a tear started to run down her cheek, when she realized that he was the first one that asked her this question since she was here. _„Uhm... sure..."_ she said and tried to sound like that. _„I just... I ... uhm..."_ she hated herself for stuttering, but smiled herself when she heard him giggle a little.

Somehow she got herself together. „_Uhm, Tom... I just wondered... I am new in Laguna... so you are like the only person I know... so I wondered if you ever wanted to... I don't know... hang out... show me some places...or something..."_ When he did not answer she added: _„I know this is really weird, but... I don't know... I just thought I would ask..."_

_„Yeah, sure Jude... I would like to..."_ He hadn't realized that a long silence would make her insecure. He glanced at the receiver to find out what time it was, only to realize that it was only about five in the afternoon.

So much for his theorie that Chris was already out partying. He probably was still working. _„Would you like to have dinner tonight?"_ He asked her. Suprised by how easy it was for him to set a date. _„Sure... Pick me up at six thirty?"_ she gave him her adress and jumped off her bed, suddenly full of energy, she did not know she still had...

He stayed on the couch for a little longer. Wondering what had just happened. Did she really call. Was that a date?

Had he been dating Portia for so long, that he could not tell whether he had a date or not any more?

She probably was just asking, because she really did not know anybody in Laguna at all. That was what she was saying on the other hand it made him kind of insecure that he really did not know anything about her, but he would find out more than her adress later...


	9. the same old road

**That's the old same road, **

She was waiting for him at the end of the driveway, the last hints of the sinking sun making her hair shine even more, when he pulled up. She smiled and carefully opened the door of his viper. „Hey there!" she said and said down in the deep car, being happy that she did decide to wear jeans instead of a skirt. „Hey!" he said and spun the wheel around a little more, carefully making his way back onto the road.

„So... how are you doing?" he asked to break the awkward silence. „Alright, I guess!" she said and kept on looking out of the window. He smiled at her and turned the radio on, so that it would not be silent in the car anymore. „Where are we going?" she asked and finally turned to him. He gave her a smile and shrugged. „I want it to be a surprise..." he said casually and looked out of the window, leaving her staring at him.

He turned around at the next traffic light. „What?" he asked, noticing that she was not moving at all. „Tell me where we are going?" she pleaded and he laughed. „Well... Why would i tell you, you would not know it anyway!" She pouted, what made him smile even more. She turned to face the street in the exact same moment as the traffic light turned green and started to talk again...

„So... did you always life in Laguna?" she asked him, not even making the effort to face him anymore. „Jep"

„So...you would be the on to ask ... just in case i wanted a tour."

„Jep"

„You know where to go!"

„Sure girl" he said and smiled at her again, but she was still staring out of the window. „I am the leading Laguna tourist guide. Everybody that needs a tour, asks me for it. I am the leader of the branch... I am the one..."

She raised her eyebrow. „Trying to be funny?" she asked him in a almost annoyed tone.

„Does not look like I am really successful, huh?"

She only smiled at him, turning the volume of the stereo up a little.

„Whatever!" she said.

**the same old road that I am on**

"Here we are" he said stopping in front of an Italian restaurant, he jumped out of the car and was on the other side, ready to open her door, before she even unbuckled the safety belt. He offered her his hand and helped her out of the care. Placing his hand on the small of her back as he led her into the restaurant.

They were immediately placed at a table and a waiter lit the candles that were placed on it. "So... do you have anything to tell me... why didn't we have to wait?" she asked, looking at a bunch of people waiting in the entrance area to be seated, while waited for her to sit down.

"I have got my contacts" he said laughing, but then became serious. "My family used to go here since i was a little kid. The owner basically saw me growing up. I don't have to wait to be seated in any of his restaurants and he basically owns half of Laguna!"

He smiled at her.

"So, Jude Harisson. Tell me about yourself. What brought you to Laguna?" he asked her, looking into her deep blue eyes, that – although it was probably the most used cliché ever – reminded him of the ocean.

"My dad's work..." she said silently. She knew that that made her sound young and she suddenly realized that she did not even know how old he was. "Uhm... I used to live in Indiana, but my mom decided that this was a better place to raise my younger siblings, so... we moved!" She had caught a breath and now lowered her gaze. Her heart was beating faster. Would he decide that she was too young now. He had probably already graduated from College. She swallowed hard and then took a long sip from her water.

"Are you glad that you get to live here now, or would you rather have stayed?" He was not quite sure how to react. He had thought that she was at least a freshman in College, although that really did not make any sense, since she did not really seem to a person that liked art. Also usually people that went to College would not life where she did, but thinking had never been his great strength if he was honest.

"I don't know. It will be hard, to make friends and... I grew up with all the people up there. I have a boyfriend up there..." She suddenly stopped and he could tell that her mood had suddenly changed. "Are you okay?" he asked. He had not meant to make her upset, he was just trying to get to know her a little better. "Sure" she said, taking another long sip from her glass of water and regaining control over her own feelings.

She suddenly decided to be honest with him. To just tell him, what had happened. She had never really been a totally straight forward person, but she felt like, she could trust him. It was not like she really had a chance to decide who to talk to, since he was the only one she knew.

"He broke up with me the day I left!" she admitted and suddenly looked into his eyes. He could tell that she was hurt, but he also knew that she had already started to get over it. "The night we met..." he started now, looking down at his hand, that felt awfully empty with out the ring that had been there for so long. She nodded and looked at him with big eyes.

"I caught my wife cheating on me that night!" Her eyes widened. "You are married?" she said almost shocked. She had expected him to be older than her, but not that much older. He nodded, taking a sip from the beer the waitress had just brought him, leaving a glass of wine for Jude, although she had not even ordered it, not even bothering to ask her for her ID, they obviously expected her to be legal.

He smiled at her and nodded. "We married in Las Vegas. We were not meant to be and now we finally have a reason to split up!" He had no intention to show her, that he was hurt, but she could tell by the look in his eyes. Instinctively she placed her hand over his and smiled at him. "You'll be fine!" she said an really meant it that was. "And since I have got a mission now!" he added in a easy going tone, trying to make both of them forget what they had been talking about.

She raised an eyebrow, looking at him curious. "I mean... we'll have to find you some friends" he said, leaning back and getting a little more comfortable in his seat, not taking his eyes off of her.


End file.
