One Piece Crocodiles Everywhere

**/A/N: I decided on making something little and quick and absurd as hell for April Fools with Crocodile and Doflamingo. And..I kind of decided it on 31.3. Yeah, timing skills~* 8D It was supposed to be really awful. Well, intentionally ;D But it turned out to be..I don't know? Thanks to ECA with whom we made brainstorming I actually got some writing done. A great contribution of this story goes to her :3**

**When I submit this, I'm absolutely tired and will hit the bed as soon as I get this to you people. I will probably look this through when I wake up and fix some things. But for now..happy April fools and hope you'll enjoy 3**

**Hey, and if you're interested in Crocodile, I'm in the progress of making my take on his past, to be safe I'd say it'll take two-three months? Doffy will also play a part in it :3 /**

The sky was ink black. The stars were hidden by the vivid lights coming from Rainbase. The only figure crossing through the dynes hadn't expected to get any stargazing. But was dissappointed nonetheless. He had to get used to seeing the sky like this. Well, in exchange he got this charming environment to discover. But as much as he liked the feel of sand drifting in his steps, this night he wanted to take his walk elsewhere. The dark golden beneath his feet changed into vibrant green and vegetation took over. Besides the plants there were more and more animals. Crocodile heard the latter and visualized the source as he got closer to it. It was easy to tell it was some kind of a bird. Crocodile swept some leaves from his way as he found the animal. Well, animals. There were the birds, still squaking in a way that got into his nerves. They were enjoying a quite large and unique dinner. It was a bananawani. At this point barely a half of it. Despite of its current condition the man could tell this one was a female. Not that he was some kind of an biologist. It was this sort in question he had once known well. Among squaking the man distinguished whimpering.

_The hatchlings..?_

Crocodile scanned through the bushes. He spotted soon enough a slight movement in the one near him and took a closer look. He found not just a couple but **eight **little crocodiles hiding and clinging to each others.

Crocodile sighed.

_Tough luck…_

He turned away and was about to trek his way back to the city when he felt a tug against the movement. Confused, the man gazed behind him. One of the hatchlings had a grip from his fur coat. It stared above to Crocodile in desperation. The raven-haired grimaced but couldn't turn his gaze away. He crouched to the level of the little one and lifted it to his arms. He made another effort on continuing with his journey but was once again made to turn, this time because of an high-pitched outburst starting behind him. Crocodile shot a glare to silence the noisy creatures. It was a mistake. His eyes were met with seven pairs, miserable and pathetic looking ones. Crocodile exhaled very slowly. He crouched and spread his coat on the grass. The gleaming eyes through the leaves blinked until the man pointed to the dark fur:

"I haven't got all night, you bastards."

* * *

Crocodile arched his back, trying to focus on the papers on the table. But as soon as he had managed to do so there was at least one troublemaker breaking his work before it even started. He didn't know much about human babies but that much he knew that they explored the world around them with their mouth. The same applied to bananawanis. And they had teeth. They really did. It was comforting to know that the furniture in the building was scarce. He had arranged only the most vital parts upon arriving: a table, a chair, a bed and a sofa. And now these little rascals were attacking what little he had.

He was about to shoot another one of his glares when the door slammed open. Crocodile changed the victim of his deadly stare to the intruder. It only strenghtened when he recognized the man waddling in like it was he, not Crocodile, who owned the place.

"Came here to see your apartment, Croco-man," the blond beamed.

Crocodile was about to express his dislike on the matter when the blond's eyes wandered from Crocodile to the other inhabitants of the room. The room echoed when the visitor burst into a heartfelt laughter and Crocodile's words sank under it.

"There are a lot more crocodile's than last time," Doflamingo noted, his index finger hopping over all the lizards and Crocodile who had submitted himself to not being able to get any work done in the next hour.

"Which one is my crocodile?" Doflamingo chuckled whereas Crocodile's forehead twitched.

"Perhaps this one?" Doflamingo raised the hatchling before him until it was on the level of his eyes.

"If you want one, I've got plenty to spare," Crocodile rose from his chair.

Doflamingo hummed to himself, even when he placed the wani back to the bare floor. Crocodile started now regretting his words and hoped the man wasn't seriously considering the offer. A relief took over his anxiousness when the blond's attention switched to the surroundings. Crocodile had trouble keeping eye contact with the man the moment he saw where the hatchling now was. It was likely that this was the one Crocodile had been about to take with him initially. Doflamingo either hadn't noticed or had decided not to, that the rascal had a grip on his feathers, dragging across the room nonchalantly along with the flamingo.

"Not as big as the place I just got," Doflamingo bragged and descended to the floor, leaning sideways to the wall that Crocodile hadn't ordered to be painted yet.

Crocodile snorted.

"Have you already gotten acquaintance with the neighborhood? At least I was greeted with joy," Doflamingo smirked and chuckled, as if recalling the event.

"I do read the news, Doflamingo," Crocodile rolled his eyes and couldn't hide the annoyance from his words. The blond had gotten way ahead in the game he had only gotten started. And the younger shichibukai never let him hear the end of it. One reason to get his project finished.

Crocodile made his way back to the table. He may tolerate the blond's conceited voice but watching his face at the same time? Too much asked. He sat to the chair, resting his temple to his bent fingers. Apart from some munching voices the room was quiet when the men were both lost in their own thoughts. The raven-haired felt a soft touch of feather when Doflamingo circled the table to the opposite side. For a split second, Crocodile felt an urge to ask the other shichibukai. But which question? For Crocodile wealth was not only measured in money. Information was more valuable if you knew how to use it. But to whatever his thoughts had led him to was washed away by Doflamingo:

"Crocodile, you have become a mommy," the flamingo chuckled.

Crocodile spent some time figuring what Doflamingo was talking about.

"A zookeeper would be the more suitable term," Crocodile scratched his neck and pressed his eyes closed.

"You know, they grow up quite big. And I mean fuuucking big," Doflamingo extended his hands and bent backwards.

"I know. I have experience from that area," Crocodile said aloud more to himself. A vision of a certain bird twentish years younger flashed in his mind.

"What are you going to call them? Please tell me you're not going to name them after yourself," the flamingo snickered.

Both of the men stared at the little pets. One had made its nest in Crocodile's coat on the sofa and sniffled in deep sleep. The bundle under the carpet consisted of maybe two, three of the creatures. Two were combating playfully by trying to get a hold of the other's tail.

"Like hell I would," Crocodile rolled his eyes to the assumption.

"Hey, why is your name Crocodile?" Doflamingo rolled the words out before Crocodile even finished his.

Crocodile found himself unable to look at the man in the eyes and rubbing his temple only grunted: "That is none of your business."

Doflamingo commented again on the building, this time from a different perspective: "You're gonna have to make some renovation around here. For the little ones when they are not so little anymore."

Crocodile also started measuring the walls, thinking that he'd have to expand the room quite a bit.

_Wish I could argue with that._

When he raised his eyes to the ceiling, a familiar yellow spot spinning interrupted his vision. He stared at it for some time.

_How is that even possible…_

Crocodile mumbled to himself as he launched his right hand to the object hanging from the ceiling fan. He gripped it from its neck and placed the puzzled little creature to the floor. The raven-haired returned his hand to his arm and the sand that had connected them disappeared. Pleased but surprised, Crocodile noticed that Doflamingo was at the door.

"You are leaving?" Crocodile asked dubiously, looking at the man with his brows raised. The blond didn't usually stop pestering him that easily.

"Oh, are you telling me you miss me already?" Doflamingo cooed in response and Crocodile's brows lowered as he cursed the blond and turned his back to him. A muffled whimper however caught his attention and he marched to the flamingo.

"Hand him back," Crocodile crossed his arms.

"Aww come on, you have seven more of them," Doflamingo tried but Crocodile shook his head very slowly.

"If I give you a flamingo in exchange?" Doflamingo proposed casually.

"I have too many flamingos in my life as it is," Crocodile's wrinkles deepened.

"You were the one who proposed taking one," Doflamingo resorted to Crocodile's own words earlier but won no results.

"I changed my mind," Crocodile shrugged his shoulders.

The pouting on Doflamingo's face deepened as he crouched and fished the little captive from his coat and placed it in front of its rightful owner. Crocodile lowered himself to the confused pet and gently raised it from the floor. The raven-haired narrowed his eyes in warning when the blond leaned his posture to the two crocodiles. The blond hummed again, not pouting at all as he petted the scaly creature in Crocodile's arms.

"Don't worry little one. Daddy will make a visit."

"Like hell he will!" Crocodile blurted out and closed the door in front of the blond, leaving him outside to shout alone his absurdities of guardianship.

* * *

_What is this noise about..?_

After Doflamingo left, Crocodile had half a day without any interruptions until the pets began their complaining to the extent he couldn't ignore them. Crocodile had tried his glares but they only helped temporarily. Only when he looked at the time he realized the problem.

_Food…Great, now I'll have to send someone to fetch meat._

Sighing heavily, Crocodile rose from his chair.

_These constant delays will be the end of me someday._

The shichibukai made a mental note to himself to get a den den mushi when he paced to the door and opened it. The smell that hit him was horrible. Crocodile pinched his nose as he looked at the pile of meat in front of him. He scanned around for explanation and well enough found not just a clue but a piece of paper laying in visible sight. Crocodile picked it up and skimmed through the scrawl. A smile was stuck on his face for the rest of the day. The raven-haired was intent on holding the flamingo's idiocy and his horrible sense of humor as the fault.

"_Daddy thought that mommy would need some help. Don't let the kids starve, dear. –D.D._

**/A/N: Thank you for reading! I'm glad if your day got better after reading this n.n/**


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