Ashes to Ashes Bolly's Theme

**Hi again guys. I came up with this one-shot overnight while I was sleeping and the idea just wouldn't go away. There is this sad but beautiful song from an Australian cop show that was popular during the 90s (Water Rats is the name of the show for those of you who want to look it up) called "Goldie's Theme". This song was centred around one of the main female characters who died in the show but because this song suited Alex so well I am going to take the name of the song and put an Ashes twist to it with heavy doses of angst galex. This is set after series 2 of course and I am going to just go all out on this. Please review and tell me what you think of it. Also I don't own "Goldie's theme" or Ashes to Ashes.**

**Bolly's Theme**

It had been a couple of weeks after Operation Rose; things were starting to get back to normal between everyone except between Gene and Alex. Ever since the breakdown of their personal and professional relationship during Operation Rose things between them had deteriorated to shocking levels. Gene avoided Alex like the plague and when he wasn't avoiding her, he was treating her like yesterday's garbage. He insulted her professionally and personally, bringing up her daughter and constantly taunting her about it, much to the disapproval of the team. He made her do mundane things that even a WPC shouldn't have to do while making sure that she was no longer with them on stake outs and on other cases reducing her to just paper work and going through old cases of stolen handbags and missing persons. Every time she would try to speak out he would cruelly shut her down and label her as a useless tart in front of her superiors and her colleagues. Every time they would leave early for work, he would make sure that she stayed back long hours until the early morning rays of sunlight came through the sky and then the process would start again. When she did manage to make it to Luigi's he would be there with a busty young blonde with big breasts and a short waist locking lips with her in order to show her up and would often leave the place with a smug smile on his face leaving her feeling feel cold, lonely, humiliated, tired and broken hearted. Sometimes it would be a brunette or a red head sometimes they would have black hair, their skin colours would range and their accents ranged from posh to common. Gene Hunt knew what he was doing, he was trying to break Alex until she either transferred or quit the force all together, leaving him alone to rule his kingdom. He was hurt and angry over the way she had treated him including the words on the tape and how she had lied to his face and made a mockery of him. He wanted to make her pay and so he did, he knew that he still loved her deep down inside his battered heart but his anger and pride forced him to do and say unforgivable things to her in order to make himself feel better. He just didn't know that it would soon be one of the causes of her death leaving him with nothing but regret and a broken heart

_Wake me when this game is over  
I'm drownin'  
Wake me when this game is over  
Take me away_

Alex, for her part, tried to keep her head high and made a valiant effort to keep moving on even if her heart was breaking slowly day by day. She tried so hard to get through to him but he just shut her out and made her life a living hell not just emotionally but also physically and mentally. She had no one, ever since she lost her battle to the infection in 2008; Alex knew that she was going to spend eternity here in the past with Gene and co. She would have been able to deal with that as long as she had Gene and the others but now that wasn't even an option. She knew that it was her fault; she wished she never believed in Summers, she wished she had told Gene about Summers the moment she got his stupid calls, she wished she never made those tapes, she wished she had never told Gene the truth. So many regrets and what ifs ran through her mind about that fateful day. Now he wouldn't even look at her without disgust and anger in his eyes, it was the same look that he gave to all the criminals. The way he treated her along with his words was just another dagger in her already grieving heart, she tried to speak up, she tried to defend herself but the more she tried the more he would kick her to the curb. The team would watch on in sympathy but never defended her, she couldn't blame them, they were loyal to their Guv and he was the Guv. She had no one. When she would return to Luigis of a night she would see Gene go off with a woman from all different backgrounds, all of them looking and sounding different. The next morning when she would come into work feeling broken down and tired Gene would just rub it in her face and boast about his conquests to the boys, it just pushed the knife in even further but still she bravely soldiered on hoping against everything that Gene would come back to her. It was the very definition of insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. She didn't know how long of this she could take.

_Tell me that the game is over  
Tell me I'm dreamin'  
Tell me that this pain is over  
Just take me away_

At Shaz and Chris's wedding, she came and endured watching the happy couple share dances and kisses while enduring the pain of seeing Gene in the process of seducing two women before he went off with them without even a glance at her while she sat alone in a dark secluded corner of the room. A couple of bottles of red wine, a glass for her an en empty one still unturned on the table waiting for him – always waiting. It didn't take long for Alex to finally give up; not only on Gene but also on herself, without Gene or Molly she felt her body's strength desert her and that was when her deterioration started.

_Wake me when this game is over  
I'm drownin'  
Wake me when this game, this game is over  
Please lead me home_

Because of the grueling tasks that Gene was putting her through, the late nights, the many bottles of alcohol intake, her lack of food in-take, her broken and battered heart and her literally forcing her sick body to work, Alex's health and physical strength began to suffer severely. Her face was pale even with the makeup that she placed on her face morning after morning, it still wasn't enough to cover up the fact that she looked like a walking corpse with her hollow cheeks, her pale white skin and the dark rings under her eyes. Her eyes, where the light once flared up in anger, passion and in excitement had died out along with her soul. Her heart was still beating and her body was still there, but her personality was dead and broken. Her clothes sagged off of her, her hair was limp and dry and her body was dangerously thin, when she tried to eat, all she ever did was vomit. Her head was always bowed whenever she walked or talked to anyone while losing complete confidencet in herself which could be seen in the way she walked – once upon a time her hips swung confidently and sexily from side to side with her head held high – now she just lagged behind everyone else.

She became withdrawn, no longer speaking to anyone while her headaches and her muscle pain increased every day, making it difficult to get up. Everyone on the team had noticed her physical and mental deteroition but no one had the courage to speak up to the Guv or to anyone else for that matter, they didn't even have the guts to comfort her because of their fear of the Guv's tyrant temper and behavior. Alex was forced to survive on her own. Gene had turned his back on her and no one would voluntary support her without risking their own neck. She wasn't in the mood to socialize with anyone and just kept to herself in her flat drinking herself silly, hoping that she would be out of her misery soon. Hoping and praying to a god that she didn't believe in would take her and end her suffering.

The last thing she remembered ever doing was putting on her leggings, her woolly socks, several layers of shirts and a jumper on her freezing yet sweating body and taking herself to bed. She remembered taking a sleeping pill to help ease her headaches that she had constantly been getting since Gene's abandonment of her and resting her aching body under the duvet, feeling her body temperature decrease along with her blood pressure. Her breathing along with her heart rate increased rapidly that night before stopping sometime in the dead of night.

That was the last time her heart was heard beating.

_Tell me that the game is over  
Tell me I'm dreamin'  
Tell me that this dream is over  
Just take me away_

It was Gene who found her the next morning, agitated and angry that she was over 5 hours late. He had more dead weight cases for her so he decided a good fashion yelling and abuse would do the trick. He knocked loudly and yelled insults through the door but all that he got was dead silence. He broke down the door and stormed into her room and started to yell at her.

"BOLLY! Get your bloody no good for nothing, lazy arse out of bed before I drag you out!"

It wasn't until she didn't answer him that he knew that something was wrong, he went over to her, only to find her not responding to him. Panic gripped him and he ran the rest of the way into her bedroom and sat down on her bed, it was then he finally saw what the team had seen whenever they saw Alex. He saw the white paleness of her face, the thin body, the hollow cheeks, the dark, black rings under her eyes that were now so visible that anyone could mistake it for a bruise, it was then that he noticed the lack of breathing before it dawned on him what had happened over night. He began to sweat while tears started to form in his eyes as he begged her to wake up before calling for an ambulance even though in his heart of hearts he knew that it was too late for that.

A staph infection, they said it was that killed her. Blood Poisoning or what they called Septicemia. Apparently it was caused by another infection that had developed in her abdomen after her operation when they had removed Gene's bullet but was never detected until it was too late. The lack of sleep, the large alcohol intake and the lack of food didn't help matters either; in fact it only helped increased the infection until it was too much for Alex's body and heart to handle. The news of Alex's death hit everyone hard but it didn't come as a surprise to them, they had all seen what was happening to Alex over the past couple of months from December 1982 to June 1983 but that didn't stop them from feeling guilty.

_Wake me when the game is over  
I'm drownin'  
Wake me when this game, this game is over  
Please lead me home  
_

The funeral was short and simple, since Alex had no one left in her life Gene, Ray, Chris, Shaz and the whole of CID including the MET pulled together to have the details sorted out. All of the officers of the MET were there to salute the first ever female DI of the force, to Gene's surprise, Evan and little Alex showed up at the funeral to pay their last respects.

"She was one of a kind Alex Drake. It's a shame that her life was cut short so soon, she had so much potential. Such a waste of life" sighed Evan.

Gene could do nothing except nod, he knew that this was his entire fault, he knew it and the team knew it. It was the elephant in the room but no one dared to say it.

Shaz was the one who picked the flowers; the flowers consisted of white lilies, white roses, white orchids along with Jasmine flowers and lilies of the valley while at the centre of it was a combination of dark blue flowers with one pink one in the middle; all of which were arranged in an aristocratic and sophisticated manner with a touch of emerald green. The flowers for everyone symbolised everything that Alex was to them – perfection, purity, sincerity, honesty, integrity, beauty, innocence, seriousness, power, knowledge, motherhood and modesty.

To the team and to Gene especially the white flowers represented Alex for the person that she was – a supreme light from the heavens above to act as a guide for those who were lost in the dead of night.

When her coffin was buried and everyone had gone to the wake or had gone home; Gene was the only one who was left standing there, silently grieving for the woman who he had ever loved but never had the guts to say it to her face. He was a fool. A coward. A cold hearted bastard who left her to die and who may have even helped caused her death because of his own selfish and arrogant behaviour. He silently touched her grave stone which he himself had paid for, tears quietly streaming down his cheeks, crying for everything that he had lost.

_Here lies_

_DETECTIVE INSPECTOR ALEXANDRA ELIZABEH DRAKE_

_The First Female DI of the MET_

_A valiant fighter for truth and for justice_

_A woman ahead of her time_

_Beloved of Molly Drake and Gene Hunt_

The wake didn't last long, just a few drinks and a meal between everyone until all that was left was Gene, Chris, Ray, Shaz, Viv, Terry and Bammo sitting around the table drinking their whiskies and their pints while swapping stories about their beloved DI. All of them were striving hard to remember their bubbly and fiery DI that was Alex Drake.

Gene stumbled into Alex's flat, wondering how he was going to cope. All this time he had been pushing her away and punishing her for past mistakes (half of them which were done by him) when he should've talked to her, sorted things out with her, embraced her and give her all the love that she deserved, all the love and support that she needed. She needed him. And he wasn't there.

He felt angry all of a sudden, not only at himself for his stupidity, pride and arrogance, but at her, for her spurting out all of that "I'm from the future" crap, for her not fighting hard enough for him, for her dying on him and leaving him alone in the world. He then started to kick things around the room; he turned over the chairs and tables in the kitchen and in the living room, he let out a primal shout as he threw items around the room. Anything that he could get his hands on was hurled at the walls of the flat before he sunk down onto to the floor of her bedroom floor in tears.

When Gene finally managed to hurl himself up on the floor he spotted a small diary by the bedside and picked it up. It was padlocked but Gene managed to find the key in a hidden compartment that was kept in the chimney along with some other private possessions of Alex's. He read every single diary entry that was made by Alex from the moment she got out of hospital until her final days in her flat. All were about him and her feelings for him and the amount of pain and heartache he was putting her through for all those months. But it was the final entry that broke his heart into two.

_June 28__th__ 1983_

_I can't do this anymore Molls; I am too weak to keep going._

_I know what I said to Gene was wrong, god I replay that day over and over in my mind._

_It haunts me every day. I wish that I could take it all back, I am truly sorry, I want to tell_

_him but he won't even look at me. I guess it is the most that I deserve given what I put_

_him through. Every time he leaves the bar with another woman I just feel those daggers_

_that have been speared into my heart just twist a little bit mote deeper making it bleed_

_even more. Something is happening to me Molls, I can feel it. My body is getting weaker by_

_the day, some of it is my fault but I feel that it is nearly time for me to leave this world. It will_

_be nice to finally be at peace, no more suffering, I can be with my mum again. That would be great._

_But I do regret not having the courage to tell Gene how I really feel about him. I'm a bloody coward _

_Molls, I stuffed up everything. If only I could see him one more time. I would give anything to touch_

_him, to hold him in my arms and share just one kiss with him. Just one kiss and the chance to tell_

_him that I love him, have always loved him, will always love him even if he did hurt me badly. It's_

_not much to ask for is it? His forgiveness? I don't deserve it but one can hope._

_I hope you live the life you deserve Molls, I am sorry that I can't be there. I tried, I _

_really, just maybe not enough. I do love you and I hope to see you again one day._

_Feeling so tired, my body so weak, wanna sleep Molls, so I will bid you goodnight._

_If this is my last entry, well, then, at least it will be dedicated to the two most important _

_people in my life - the two people who I will always love and adore until the end of time._

_I hope to god that if you or Gene ever read this, that you will always carry my love with you._

_Until we meet again my loves,_

_Alex._

Gene curled into fetal position under the duvet and cried himself to sleep, the pain still unbearable for him to bear, the diary still clutched in his hands, holding it near the beating of his shattered heart.

He dreamt of her that night, she was a vision dressed in white, her curly hair whistling in the wind. Her cheeks were bright and rosy once more. Her skin was milky white but it shone radiantly in the sun. Her hazel eyes sparkling, offering him glimpses into her soul that had been blown out so cruelly by him once before. She was his Bolly once more.

He walked slowly over to her and she did nothing but smile at him and offer her hand out to him. He took them as he stood toe to toe with her. Both staring at each other before Gene gently kissed her forehead, taking her in his arms, gripping her as tightly as he could while she mirrored his gesture, burying her face into his neck and breathing in his scent.

"I forgive you Bolly. So, so sorry. I never ever meant to do this to you."

Alex just smiled into his skin and stroked his head, not wanting to let him go, but both knowing that it couldn't last.

"It's over now Gene, my love. You're here, I have fulfilled my wish. Thank you. I can now be in peace. I can move on now."

"But, Alex, how do I cope?"

"You will get by like you have always done before. You're the Manc Lion"

"That was before you though."

"Maybe so, but you have got to move on with your life. Just remember that I will always love you."

"But..." Alex had stopped him from going further by placing her finger over his pouted lips."

"You've still got a job to do, you have more lessons to learn and more adventures to be had before it is your time. I will be waiting for you."

With that last sentence she kissed his lips to which Gene responded, tongues sensually entwining with one another while their hands roamed. Alex broke this kiss and turned her head around only to find Caroline waiting for her.

"I've got to go now."

"But Alex...I...I love you"

"I know you do and there will be a pint and a whisky chaser waiting on the bar when your times comes. Then I expect you to give me a good seeing too" smirked Alex while waggling her eyebrows.

Gene just laughed and hugged her once more.

"Count on it Bolly. It's a bona fide Gene Genie promise."

Alex smiled, kissed his cheek one more time before starting to walk to Caroline whom held out her hand to her in which she grabbed it before turning to him once more and waved to him, blowing him a kiss before she faded into the background of people. The song "Life on Mars" being played in the background. The lights became so bright that Gene had no choice but to close his eyes.

He woke once more only to found himself on his back on Alex's bed, red satin sheets around his body with the diary still in his hand.

"Soon Alex, soon. Keep that bed warm for me."

The only reply he got was a light breeze coming through the window and the twinkling of stars in the night London sky.

Always watching over him till the time comes.

_Tell me that the game is over  
Take me, take me, take me, take me away  
Take me, take me, take me, take me awa_y

**Well, there you have it. Please review and tell me what you think of it. **


End file.

Ashes to Ashes, Hurt-Comfort, Tragedy