Hunger Games 1. Chapter 1: September

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games or any of its characters**

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Chapter One

_September_

The music blares throughout the whole house. The smell of smoke sticks to every sweaty crevice. Numerous people are tangled together in the corners of rooms. I take a sip of my now warm beer and then throw my head back as I dance in time with the beat. My friend Johanna dances behind me, her hands gripping my waist as we dance with reckless abandon. I know some of our guys friends are probably sitting back and enjoying the show but with the amount of alcohol I have in my system I don't care.

I like alcohol. I like how it makes me feel; happy and free. I feel like a bird flying through the trees. Anything is possible once I have had a few drinks. I can forget about the sucky aspects of my life and just live for the moment

This is a average night of the week for us. Every night we get a text through from one of our friends detailing the next party venue. We turn up with beer and pills and everyone dances, gets drunk and hooks up until the early hours of the morning. The perfect escape from our regular lives.

A loud scuffle breaks my attention away from the music and to the door. It is my friends Gale and Beetee and they seem to have found some sort of air rifle.

"Catnip!" Gale shouts. I scowl at his use of the nickname I detest. "We're setting up a shooting range out back. Ready for me to whip your ass?"

I pull myself away from Johanna and hurry over to meet the two boys. I take the air rifle off Gale and hold it in a sexy pose.

"Ready to be beaten by a girl?" I challenge looking up at Gale. He is a good foot taller than me with a steely gaze but we've been best friends for the last 3 years. He doesn't intimidate me.

Gale smirks at me and goes to tug the end of my braid.

"Not a chance Everdeen," he replies with a grin.

Beetee elbows him slightly in the ribs and gestures for him to help set up outside. Gale tries to take the rifle off me but I clutch it to my chest protectively and wag a finger in his face.

"This is mine Hawthorne," I say with a grin.

Gale shakes his head at me before throwing an arm around my shoulder and leading me out back.

Beetee has already begun to set up the empty beer cans on a few logs in the small back yard when we arrive. With the weather still warm there are quite a few people milling about drinking beer and passing joints. A few of our other friends come up to join us while the boys set up the targets. Johanna sidles up beside me and hands me a joint she has just lit up. I happily take it and take a long drag, puffing out the excess smoke. It instantly relaxes me. I spy Johanna's eyes following Gale's behind as he bends down to pick up a beer can.

I peer at her from the corner of my eye.

"You are so obvious. Just bite the bullet and hook up with him," I say to her.

She's had an eye on Gale for a while now. He has to be one to the hottest guys in our group but Johanna has been too much of a pussy to do anything about it.

"So you'd recommend him then. I heard it's like a 12 year old boy down there," she replies.

I elbow her in the ribs.

"That was a long time ago," I state.

"Yeah until your next break up with Thom," Johanna says with a smirk.

I narrow my eyes at her and finish the last of the joint to annoy her. Johanna just laughs before Gale comes back over and plants himself in front of me.

"All yours Catnip," he says raising his eyebrows in a challenging way.

I down the rest of my beer, chuck the cup away and move to line up my target. I pick a can and position myself for the shot. Quite a crowd has gathered and I know I can't miss. I put my finger on the trigger and gently squeeze it down. There is a loud bang and seconds later the beer can topples off the log.

I spin back round with a satisfied smirk on my face. Gale shakes his head at me before making his way over and taking the gun off me.

"Lucky shot," he whispers in my ear. I raise my eyebrows and watch him as he takes his own shot.

However he can only rattle the can. He swears before lining up to take another shot which this time successfully manages to knock the can off its perch. I walk up behind him and give him a sympathetic pat on the back.

"Too bad Hawthorne. I keep offering you lessons," I say smugly.

He turns round and scowls at me.

"It's only round one," he replies leaning down so his face his close to mine. I raise my eyebrows.

"You're a fucking fool," I reply.

Gale replies with a big grin.

We take turns with a few of our other friends to shoot at the targets. My dad used to set up targets in our back yard, so even under the influence of alcohol I hit all of my targets. Gale manages to hit most of his too, but there is no doubt who the best shooter is.

I sit in Gale's arms as we wait for our next shot and watch our friend Darius miss the can by a good foot. We laugh at our friend's lack of talent as he curses under his breath.

Gale and I have been best friends for over 3 years now. After my dad and sister died at the start of freshman year I needed someone to take my mind off things and make me forget. Gale was that person. He had always lived across the street from me but with him being two years older our paths didn't cross much. However he had lost his own father the year previously and took me under his wing, introducing me to his friends and the constant parties. I learnt the bad memories could be forgotten with the help of cheap beer and a joint. He became my salvation.

We are both remarkable similar even down to the way we look. We both have dark hair and grey eyes and enjoy spending time outdoors hitting targets and getting high. We've hooked up a couple of times when both of us were completely off our faces on drink and pills but we both know it means nothing. Our friendship is strong enough that a random hook up doesn't affect it.

"Care to give me my girl back Hawthorne?" a deep male voice announces form behind us.

I turn round with a smile, pick myself off Gale and greet the voice with a sultry kiss. Thom's arms immediately wrap around me in a possessive embrace.

"She's all yours dude," Gale says standing up and slapping Thom on the shoulder.

Thom turns me around so my back is facing his front and puts his arms possessively across my chest.

"I intend to have her all to myself tonight," Thom says.

I twist around to nuzzle the base of his neck to tell him that he has no need to be jealous. He knows Gale and I are not an issue at the moment. This seems to appease him slightly and he arms loosen slightly around me. I lean back into him, happy that a confrontation has been avoided.

Thom and I have what you could call a volatile relationship. We first met when Gale introduced us in my freshman year. He is Gale's best friend and I was instantly taken by his dark hair and stocky build. I gave him my virginity a few weeks after I met him when we were both completely smashed at some party. Ever since we have had a relationship where we are constantly pushing and pulling each other. Thom is quite possessive over me and we have got into many blazing rows where each of us accuses the other of cheating. This often results in a break up and we both screw around until one of us comes crawling back to the other and we hook up again.

It's a vicious circle. After each break up I tell myself that I am not going back there again but after a couple of weeks I end up missing him and can't help but fall into his arms again.

I love him.

Aside from Gale, he has been the constant in my life since Dad and Prim died. He helps me keep the nightmares away. I need him. There's just too much history between us for me to ever let him go.

Thom has now gestured for Beetee to come over.

"Hey dude, what have you got for us tonight?" he asks.

Beetee fumbles about his pockets to pull out a small bag of purple pills.

"I call them nightlock," Beetee says gesturing to the packet of pills.

Beetee is the chemist in the group. He is the smallest one of my guy friends with short dark hair and spindly glasses but he spends his day in his parent's basement cooking up various concoctions that will keep us happy and high at these get togethers.

"Sweet," Thom says taking 2 pills from Beetee. He tips my head back and I stick my tongue out so he can give me the pill. He pops it on my tongue and I greedily swallow the little pill of happiness. He pops his own pill in his mouth before bending down to capture my lips in a hot kiss.

I twist round in his arms and press my body eagerly into his chest. I can feel the effects of the pill already, making me instantly giddy and horny. I push my hips into Thom's and I can feel him swell through his dark wash jeans. I break my lips away from his own and begin planting small kisses along his neck and collarbone.

"Let's go somewhere more private," he whispers huskily in my ear.

I just nod my head in agreement as I continue to nip and suck his flesh. He turns me around so I can hide his obvious erection and drags me to a room on the first floor.

As soon as he has slammed the door shut I attack him, ravishing his lips with my own. I back him against the wall and let my hands wander, slipping them under his black t-shirt and scrapping my nails down his strong chest. He growls in appreciation.

This noise is all it takes for me to dip my hands down and cup him over his jeans.

"I want you in my mouth," I state seductively as I stroke him over his jeans.

Thom grins at me as I kneel down and unbuckle his belt. His erection strains against the fabric of his boxers and I run a hand leisurely over it before yanking them down and exposing him to me completely. I look up at him wickedly before descending my lips to wrap around his cock.

I have been doing this for him for years now and know exactly what to do to get him off. He leans his head back against the door and grips my head in his hands to urge me on. I love doing this for him. It turns me on instantly and I can feel the familiar wetness gather in my panties.

Suddenly he releases my head and pushes me away. I look up at him and pout, disappointed he didn't let me finish him off.

"Turn around and get on your hands and knees," he demands.

I do as he says and wait for him to do whatever he has planned for me. I hear him kneel down behind me and tear down my denim shorts and panties in one go before pulling my ass closer to him. I feel him push at my entrance.

"Wait!" I shout. "Do you have anything?"

I can hear Thom groan at the delay.

"It's fine. You were on your period last week. You can't get pregnant," he says.

I try to rack my brain to see if they ever said that in health class but I am interrupted in my thoughts by the feel the head of his cock grazing at my opening. I roll my head forward as the first ripple of pleasure rakes through my body. My hips jerk backwards involuntary and I no longer care if he is right. I need him inside of me now.

He takes this as his cue to enter me roughly and set a frantic pace. We both moan and groan as he slams into me. However I know at this pace he won't last long. I rarely climax this way. All too soon he has released himself inside of me with me still searching for my own release.

He pulls out of me and yanks his jeans on as he gets up. Still searching for my own release I flip myself over and spread my legs wide for him before dipping my hand down to finish what he had started. Thom watches me, his eyes black with lust, as I bring myself to completion. I come with a shout and a shudder and hang my head back, panting a little after our executions.

Once I have found my breath, I bring my head back up to see his erect penis straining against his jeans.

"God you're so damn hot," Thom says his voice thick with lust.

I give him a sexy smile, before re-dressing myself and walking over to him. I cup him through his jeans and stand up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

"Think about that while you take care of this," I whisper, running a finger up his length and then walking past him and out of the door.

* * *

I stumble into my small one storey house at 7 in the morning having crashed at a friend's house after last night. It had been a good night. Thom and I didn't get into any arguments. I'm still buzzing from my earlier highs.

I crash into the coffee table as I return home and the noise is enough to bring my mom out of the kitchen. She works night shifts at a care home and would have only just got back herself. She stares at my unkempt appearance and scrunches her nose at the stench of alcohol and weed but doesn't bother asking me where I have been. At least this time I wasn't brought home by the police.

Ever since my dad and little sister, Prim, died in a car accident 3 years ago my mom has been missing emotionally. The shock of losing the love of her life and daughter in one go was too much for her to handle and she checked out on me soon after. She spent much of those early months sitting staring out of her bedroom window. She has now got to a place where she at least can function but anything that involves emotions she ignores. I have been going out and partying for years now and she has never said anything. She doesn't bat an eyelid whenever the cops pick me up for underage drinking or breaking and entering. No matter what I do, she will continue to ignore me.

"Don't worry Mom. I'll make it to school," I mumble as I make my way past her and enter my bedroom.

School is the last place I want to be. I'm not going to college so why should I bother? At least I am in my senior year and only have to endure one more year of the shit hole and all its phonies. I envy Thom and Gale for getting out 2 years ago.

* * *

I meet Johanna in the quad and we head in to endure the torture that is high school. Johanna is the only other one of our crew still in high school and the only person I can tolerate here.

We make our way to the coffee machine to find the caffeine that will help us get over this hangover. Johanna looks about as rough as I feel and we both support a large pair of sunglasses to hide the bags under our eyes.

"So fucking jealous of those assholes that get to sleep in all day. I am done with this hell hole!" Johanna exclaims as she picks up her coffee and blows on the top of it.

I nod my head in agreement as I rub the spot of my pounding headache.

"Less than a year Jo. Then you and I can live it up and party all day," I say claiming my own drink.

Johanna grins and raises her cup to me.

"I'll drink to that!" she declares. "Damn. I wish this had a bit of whiskey in it."

I give her a tired smile and a nod of the head as we begin to make our way to class.

Unfortunately on the way down we pass a bunch of high pitched shrieks and laughter. As we walk past the cheerleaders they all stop to sneer at us. They take one look at our bedraggled appearance and sunglasses and instantly judge us for what we did last night.

"God if you are going to act like a pathetic stoner loser, you could have at least had the decency to shower afterwards," Glimmer, the ringleader, sneers.

Both Johanna and I stop and angrily stare at the group. These girls have been giving us shit for years. Just because they have got everything handed to them on a plate makes them think they are better than the rest. They judge anyone who doesn't live their lives like they do.

Glimmer is the worst. Tall, blonde and slim, she comes from one of the richest families in Panem and is the most popular girl in school. But that also means she is the biggest bitch. Seeing her standing in front of us now with a wicked smile and a hand on her hip makes me want to rip out those fucking blonde hair extensions. She laughs once she sees our reactions. It amuses her to see us lose our control.

"I don't know how you get any guy to sleep with you. Most would be scared that they would catch something off you," Glimmer adds looking me up and down.

Her copy cat minions all giggle at her comment. I have to bite back a smile.

"Your boyfriend didn't seem to mind when he took my under the bleachers. It's an interesting mole he's got on his buttocks," I reply with a smug grin.

The smile on Glimmer's face immediately disappears as she realises what I am implying. I had slept with her boyfriend, Cato, during my last break up with Thom. Jocks like Cato say that they don't want girls like me, grungy and mysterious, but find us a lot more interesting than the boring bimbo's they date publicly.

Cato propositioned me one day after math class and I was so pissed off with Thom, I did it. Not much to write home about, but it proved a point.

"You bitch!" Glimmer screeches as she makes a move towards me. However she is stopped by Johanna, who steps in front of me and pushes her away. This only angers Glimmer more and soon the pair of us are tugging and pulling at each other's hair. God, I have wanted to hit her for so long.

A stern voice causes us to break apart.

"That's enough girls," The stern tone of Mr Cinna declares. "Glimmer, go and see Miss Trinket, Katniss you come with me."

I let out a big huff and roll my eyes at Johanna as I pass. She gives me a sympathetic smile in return. I follow Mr Cinna into his office and he gestures for me to take the seat opposite him.

Mr Cinna is the guidance counsellor at school and has been trying to get me to talk to him ever since I got here. For some reason he has a soft spot for me, which I don't understand since every time I have seen him I have told him to fuck off.

I slump in the chair opposite him and look out the window.

"Katniss I have had my concerns about you for a while now. I girl with your potential should not be turning up to school drunk and getting into fights with other girls," he states softly.

"I'm not drunk," I say defensively.

Mr Cinna just gives me a knowing look and I look away ashamed that he is right.

"You had such good reports when you came from middle school. Intelligent, hard working, well behaved. I know you have been through a lot since you have been here, but I'm here to help," he says before taking a pause. "How's your mom doing?"

I don't like his question. He has no business knowing about my family.

"That's none of your business. I don't need you nosing around my family," I snap.

"I just want to help you succeed. You have the intelligence to do really well in college," he says.

"I'm not going to college," I laugh.

"I want you to know it is a real possibility for you."

I am angry now. How dare he try and push something on me I don't want. He doesn't know me. How can he know what is best for me?

"No offence Mr Cinna, but you know nothing about me. You can't possible understand my life, so I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to "fix" me. I'm doing just fine," I state before pushing back the chair and leaving his office without another word.

* * *

The next month passes in a blur of parties, drinking sessions and days getting high. Mr Cinna keeps trying to reach out to me but I ignore every attempt.

Near the end of the month Thom and I get into a massive fight. Thom's biggest love in his life is his truck. He bought it a year back and now spends all his free time and money pimping it out. I hate the thing. It's big and shiny and ugly to look at. I have never understood his fascination with the thing but he talks about it like it is his baby. I have spent many hours of my life listening to him go on about engine size, leather seats and sound systems. Frankly I couldn't give a fuck.

It all comes to head after he had been spending a particularly large amount of time on the truck. I had barely seen him in 2 weeks and then he just turned up one night unannounced. I got angry at him for ignoring me but as always this just led to us fucking. The next morning I found him gone and $50 dollars missing from my purse. Unsurprisingly when I confronted him his truck had a new speaker set in the back.

There was a lot of screaming and the usual accusations of stealing and cheating before I scratched his car with my keys and stormed off.

We haven't spoken since.

However tonight we are both at Darius's small get together and he has spent the entire evening glaring at me as he listens to Gale and Beetee discuss the latest pills Beetee has made.

I have drunk a lot of alcohol and smoked a lot of weed to try and forget him and have a good time. I don't want him to bring down my vibe. However I do want to get under his skin a little bit and cause him to feel some of the annoyance he is causing me.

I am currently dancing with both Johanna and Wiress. I am in the middle of the two of them and we have pressed our bodies together as we bounce and sway in time to the beat. Johanna gives me a sexy smile and I know exactly how to get Thom seething. I turn round to grab the joint Wiress is holding and take a big drag. I beckon Johanna to come closer and she readily steps forwards and lifts her lips to mine so I can share the smoke with her. She greedily sucks it in before I put my arms round her neck and kiss her deeply.

This is not the first time we have done this. Johanna will go with anyone, anywhere and we've experimented some when we have both got a little drunk. Thom hates it when I flirt with other people. In his eyes I am his and no one else has the right to touch me. However I know the sight of Johanna and I together turns him on. He's watched on a few occasions before and I know it will piss him off that I won't allow him anywhere near me tonight.

Out of the corner of my eye I see him storm out the room, clearly pissed at what he has just witnessed. I break away from Johanna, satisfied I have achieved my goal and let out a delighted laugh as we continue to dance and grind up against each other.

"Be the most action I will get tonight. On my period. Already had to turn down Darius. God how I could do with some cock tonight!" Johanna exclaims.

I give her a sympathetic smile. I know how annoying it can be when your body clock gets in the way of your sex life. Thom moans incessantly about it whenever it is my time of the month.

There is something about Johanna's comment though that niggles in the back of my mind. I feel like I should be remembering something important but I can't quite figure out what it is. I peel myself away to use the bathroom and as I am washing my hands it hits me.

My own period.

Johanna and I are normally on at the same time. We are always sharing tampons and painkillers. I haven't had one in weeks.

I rack my brain trying to work out when I was last on and with a sinking feeling realise it was over 5 weeks ago.

I'm late.

I remember the last time I was on and how after Thom hadn't used a condom because he said I couldn't get pregnant.

A wave of nausea overcomes me as I think of what this might mean. I retch and throw up in the toilet as the fear overtakes me. This can't be happening.

I wipe the vomit from around my mouth and look at myself in the mirror. I look pale and shaky. My pupils large and dilated. I need to get out of here.

I rush out the house barely saying goodbye to Johanna and Gale. I rush out into the blackness terrified what I might discover.

* * *

I find a late night drug store and frantically scan the shelves for a home pregnancy test. I quickly find them and grab the first 2 kits I can find. I can see the cashier girl give me a judgmental look as I hand over my purchase. I am too anxious to care and jiggle about on the spot, impatient to get out of here. I snatch the change out of the cashier's hands and bolt out the door.

20 minutes later I sit on the toilet seat in my own bathroom, the pregnancy test in my hand. I tap my foot nervously on the floor as I wait for the 3 minutes to be up. I try not to think about what it would mean if it is positive. I try to think about other things such as shooting with Gale in the woods or that mangy cat we had when I was a kid. It doesn't work. All I can picture is me holding a screaming baby and having no clue what to do with it.

The alarm on my cell phone goes off signalling that the 3 minutes are up. I stop tapping my foot and take a deep breath before turning the test over to see the result.

A positive blue plus sign stares straight back up at me.

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**A/N: I finally found time to write something new and this is it. I already have the first few chapters written and hope to update regularly every Monday.**

**The inspiration of this basically came from watching too many episodes of _Teen Mom_. Any similarities in this story and the people on that show is just coincidence. **

**I know there is no Peeta in this chapter and unfortunately he won't appear until chapter 3. However this is very much a Everlark story so please be patient as I set the premise up. I hope you are intrigued enough to read more.**


	2. Chapter 2: May

Chapter Two

_May_

I struggle to heave my massive stomach up and off the bed. I stand on my swollen feet and rub a soothing hand across my belly. My stomach aches and I am tired after being kept up all night by the baby's kicking. I thought you were only to miss out on sleep once the baby was born. But I don't have time to contemplate this much because she is pressing down on my bladder and I need to pee real bad. I waddle to the bathroom hating the effect this baby is having on my body.

I hate being pregnant. I hate that I can't bend down anymore. I hate that I am the size of a house and have permanent heart burn. I hate that I cannot drink. That I cannot smoke. I hate that I am missing out on all the parties.

But I am too scared for what comes after to be looking forward to the end of this pregnancy.

I trudge back through from the bathroom to my bedroom and flick the light on so I can start getting ready for the day. A groan of protest comes from my bed. I turn to face the shirtless body of my boyfriend sprawled out on the bed.

"You need to get up. You have to pick up that crib today," I state very unimpressed.

"Jesus Katniss. I only got in two hours ago," Thom groans.

Anger flares up inside of me and I chuck a pillow at him.

"You didn't have to go to that party. You could have actually stayed in with your girlfriend for once!" I yell. "Your daughter is due in 3 weeks. I have been asking you to pick up that crib for weeks now. I want you to pick the damn thing up today!"

Thom sits up clearly annoyed at my words.

"Stop nagging me woman! I will pick up the fucking thing when I fucking want to and not when you fucking tell me too!" he yells.

"Stop acting like such a child! She could come today and then where would she sleep? The bathtub?" I scream. "This is your baby too. You need to start taking some responsibility."

"I didn't want this baby. You were the fucking one who wanted to keep it. This baby would have been long gone if I had had my way," Thom says coldly.

I am seething. It amazes me that he can feel nothing for his child and that he can talk about her so harshly. She's not even born yet. She has done nothing wrong. My daughter is defenceless.

"Don't speak about our daughter like that. She's coming. You are just going to have to deal with it," I snap at him before storming out the room.

I ease myself down onto a chair at the kitchen table and let out a scream of frustration. My mom, who has just got in from her shift, smiles at my sadly.

I just want him to take some responsibility for what is happening. I want him to love our daughter, take her to her first ballet lesson and play tea parties with her in the back yard. When my dad was alive he and I were really close. We spent every Sunday together, Dad teaching me to sing and various outdoor activities. I want my own daughter to have that experience. I want her to be a daddy's girl.

"What time did he come in last night?" Mom asks.

"Just after 4. I hate that he still gets to go out when I am still stuck at home," I moan.

Mom gives me a sad nod of the head.

Thom has been living with us ever since his parents found out I was pregnant. They were nearing the end of their tether with much of his behaviour and this was the last straw. They chucked him out telling him it was time for him to take responsibility for his actions and he ended up on our doorstep.

Thom had not taken the news well when I first told him. At first he accused me of lying, then cheating before calling me a whore and we didn't speak for 3 weeks. However he eventually got his head around the fact the baby was his and came grovelling asking to get back together again. I want my daughter to have her father. I know all too well how much it sucks to have him gone. So I eagerly accepted his apology and we have been together ever since.

There was early tension when we first got back together again. Thom wanted to get rid of the baby and get things back to the way things were. But I couldn't do it. I have already lost my dad and my sister and the thought of losing the baby was all too much. I feel like I have been familyless for the past 4 years with the loss of my dad and Prim and Mom checking out. I feel with this baby I will finally have a family again.

"I know it's hard honey but no one said this was going to be easy," Mom replies giving my arm a sympathetic rub.

"It'll be better once she's here. He'll have to grow up then. And then I can go out with him sometimes too," I sigh.

"Katniss, you have to realise your life isn't going to go back to way it was before you were pregnant. You won't be able to just leave the baby," Mom says.

"You'll be able to watch her when we go out," I say.

"I have work Katniss. Yes, I will look after her sometimes but I will not become your live in nanny. You will have to provide the majority of her care."

"But you won't just leave me to do it on my own. I have no idea what to do with a baby!" I say panic beginning to rise up in my chest.

Mom has been really good since I told her I was pregnant. It seems this final act was enough to grab her attention and she finally acknowledged me for the first time in 3 years. Something inside of her just seemed to click into place and she has been my rock, coming to all my hospital appointments and helping me prepare for when the baby comes. I couldn't have done these last few months without her.

"Of course I will help. But this is your baby Katniss. I am a little concerned that you haven't quite grasped how hard this is going to be. She is going to be your responsibility. All your actions will center round what is best for her," Mom replies.

I can feel the tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes. I don't want to have to hear how hard this is going to be for me. It's too overwhelming to think about. I didn't want my life to change. I wish I could be like every other kid my age and do whatever I want whenever I want. I can't even think about all the things I will miss out on.

Mom sees my tears and pulls me in for a comforting hug.

"I know this is hard but once you see your baby girl it will be worth it. Trust me," she says.

I hiccough into her chest and grip onto her tightly. I just don't want to grow up so fast.

I leave for school shortly after and don't bother saying goodbye to Thom on my way out.

* * *

I push my way into the school halls and make my way through the mass of people. As usual I am followed by judgemental stares and cruel whispers. Apparently these people have nothing better to do than gossip about me. The words slut and whore have been following me about for months. Sadly I have become used to their gossiping and have become able to tune some of it out. I don't want to care about what those assholes think about me. There are more pressing issues I have to contend with. However it doesn't mean I like it less.

Johanna is smoking out back and I make my over to her.

"Hi tubby," she greets me, puffing the smoke away from my face.

"You not dropped yet?" she asks stamping the cigarette out with her doc marten boot.

"You know it's due in 3 weeks," I reply with a sigh. We've been having the same conservation for 2 months now.

"Whatever. You missed a good party last night. Thom was on fine form," she drawls.

My earlier anger at Thom resurfaces again. I don't want to hear about what ridiculous antics he got himself into last night. If I don't get to go out neither should he.

Missing the parties has been the hardest thing about being pregnant. I can't really remember a time where I hadn't gone out and partied at least 3 times a week. I miss the buzz the alcohol and pills give me. I no longer have a way to forget.

And I miss my friends. Johanna is really the only person I see these days. I can't go to the parties and most people are sleeping off the hangover during the day. All they talk about is parties and pills anyway. I can't relate to that anymore and it makes me depressed listening to all the things I may never get to do again.

The few times I have met up with Gale it's been incredibly tense and awkward. In the beginning he had sided with Thom and encouraged me to get an abortion. I was so angry after that comment that I punched him on the nose and didn't speak to him for a month.

After it became clear I was having this baby he just didn't know how to speak to me anymore. We used to be able to tell each other anything but now it seems he can't relate to me anymore. We haven't been to the woods together for months. My belly has prevented me from doing many of the activities we have enjoyed together in the past. He just doesn't know how to handle the bump that continues to grow and stretch my belly. I can see he views me differently now. And I hate it. I hate that this baby has made me lose my best friend.

The bell goes and Johanna and I begin walking to class. I tell Johanna about my argument with Thom this morning but I can tell she is not really listening. She is too busy nursing her hangover. I arrive at my class first and Johanna leaves me with barely a flick of her hand to say goodbye. I waddle into the class and try to squeeze myself into my desk. I hear a snort of laughter from behind me.

"They clearly never planned on having humongous hippos in class when they bought these desks," Glimmer cackles.

I take a deep breath and try to ignore her.

"Honestly how stupid do you have to be these days to get pregnant? Too big of a slut that she couldn't wait the 5 seconds it would take to put a condom on," Glimmer continues. Her friend Clove giggles.

I clench my fists and try to count to ten. She just wants to get a reaction out of me.

"I really think they should sterilise some people. Why do we need another child in the world who is probably going to end up on drugs and in jail," Glimmer adds.

Her last comment is enough for me to forgot my anger management techniques and push my desk back with a bang. She can insult me but I don't want her insulting my baby. I turn around to face her and then launch myself as best as I can at her across the desk. Glimmer shrieks as my hands tug on her long blonde hair and the rest of the class all gather round to watch.

Miss Trinket jumps out her seat and comes over to separate us.

"Honestly Katniss! I can't believe you would do such a thing in your condition! Go and see Mr Cinna at once!" Miss Trinket demands as she pulls me off Glimmer.

Glimmer smirks back at me and I go to hit her again but Miss Trinket has restrained me against her chest. Once I have calm down a little, I shrug out of Miss Trinket's hold and storm out the room.

I burst in Mr Cinna's office without knocking and slam down into the chair in front of his desk. He looks up startled at my abrupt entrance before placing down the papers he was looking at and staring at me concerned.

"What happened?" he asks.

"Fucking Glimmer Mellark! She can talk shit about me all she wants. That's nothing new for her. But she talked crap about my baby. Saying my daughter is going to end up on drugs or in jail!" I rant.

"And how did that make you feel?" Mr Cinna asks.

"Mad. I don't want my daughter to end up like that. I'm going to try my hardest to ensure she achieves everything she wants in life," I reply determinedly.

Mr Cinna gives me a knowing smile. I give him a confused look.

"Now you know how I feel about you," he replies with a small smile.

I give him another quizzical look. He leans forward on his elbows.

"You keep asking why I care about you. My students are like my children Katniss. I want them all to succeed in life, just like you want your own daughter to achieve," he expands.

I sit back in the chair, a little ashamed of how I have treated him these last few years.

I have come to trust him these past 8 months. He was really supportive when he found out I was pregnant. He has set up a plan to make sure I graduate before the baby is born and has always been there when I have needed to talk to someone. I don't find him judgemental or patronizing. He genuinely cares about his students. He's younger than a lot of teachers and that makes him easier to talk to. He helped me realise that I had to change parts of my lifestyle if I wanted to be a good mom for my baby.

"I shouldn't have hit her," I mumble looking down at my protruding belly and rubbing a hand across it.

Mr Cinna sighs at my confession.

"No you shouldn't have. But at least you can admit you were wrong. You wouldn't have done that a few months ago," he says. "You only have one more final to sit and then you can graduate. Prove Glimmer wrong."

I give him a weak smile. The truth is even if I do graduate there will always be people telling me I am a crap mother. There will be judgemental people wherever I go.

"Thanks Mr Cinna. I'll try to keep my cool for the next week," I reply.

He smiles at me warmly.

"For what it is worth, I think you are going to be a truly great mother," he says.

I smile at him gratefully before struggling to pull myself up and heading back to class. At least someone is on my side.

* * *

I manage to ignore Glimmer for the rest of the week and sit my final exam in relative peace. I am just glad I was able to complete that before the baby was born. I want to achieve a high school diploma and be a good role model for my daughter.

The morning after my last final I begin to feel stomach pains in my lower abdomen. The pains are quite far apart and I ignore them at first thinking they are some of those practise contractions my doctor talked about. However by midday it is clear that the pain is getting stronger and with one particularly strong one, I collapse against a chair with a yelp of pain.

The noise is enough to bring Mom out of her bedroom. She takes one look at me crouched on the floor, clutching my stomach and knows exactly what is happening.

"How long has this being going on?" she asks rushing over to me and helping me up onto a chair.

"Since this morning. I just thought it was some practise ones," I reply trying to breathe through the pain.

"How far apart are the contractions?" Mom asks feeling my belly.

"I don't know. Maybe every five minutes," I reply as another one begins to take hold.

"Well I hate to tell you but this is the real thing honey," Mom says stroking the hair off my face.

I look back at her panicked before she jumps up to look for her car keys.

"But it's too early. She's not due for another 2 weeks!" I whine.

Fear and panic come rushing to the fore. I can't have this baby now. It's too early. I was supposed to have another 2 weeks to prepare for this. I'm not ready.

Mom looks at me sympathetically and smoothes the hair off my face.

"I know this is scary but babies have been born earlier than this and been alright. We need to get you to the hospital now. Where's Thom?" she asks.

"Working on his truck. He should have his cell phone on him," I say through gritted teeth as another contraction hits me.

Mom nods before finding my phone and leaving a message for Thom. She then comes over to help me get up.

"You think you can make it to the car?" she asks.

I nod my head and let her lead me to the car clutching my belly.

* * *

We arrive at the hospital where I am admitted straight away. We still can't get hold of Thom and I am concerned he is not going to be there for the birth of his child. I grip on tightly to my mom's hand as the contractions get more powerful and closer together. I will never forgive him if he misses this.

The labour is painful and tiring. I do my best to not scream in pain during each contraction but it hurts more than I thought it would. The gas and air are a huge relief when I am given them. Having gone 9 months sober it goes straight to my head and my mind briefly wonders back to the time I got drunk and high nearly every night. I realise how stupid I was back then.

I am nearing the final part of labour when Thom finally turns up in a ripped t-shirt and jeans and grease on his hands. I am so relieved he has made it in time that I forget my anger at him and eagerly stick my hand out to reach for him. He looks a bit shell shocked at the situation occurring around him but he comes over to sit down beside me, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles.

"I thought you were going to miss it," I whisper.

Thom squeezes my hand and kisses my knuckles again.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I'm here now. I'm here for our baby," he says.

My heart jumps for joy at his words. I knew when the time came he would be here for us. I want us to be a proper family. I tilt my head towards him to meet his lips in a chaste kiss. I am so glad he is here. I don't want to do this alone.

We are interrupted by the midwife coming through to examine me. I grip Thom's hand tightly as she pushes her fingers inside of me to feel my cervix. She withdraws them and peels off her rubber gloves. Mom, Thom and I all look at her expectedly.

"I think you are ready to start pushing. Ready to be a mom?" the midwife asks.

A mixture of fear and excitement take over. I get to meet my baby soon. It's going to hurt like hell but she'll be here.

Thom grins and kisses my temple as the midwife sets up for delivery. I look at Mom, a little panicked, but she gives me a reassuring smile.

"You can do this sweetie. Your baby will be here soon," she says.

I nod my head at her before turning back round to nuzzle my nose into Thom's hand.

"You're doing so well baby," he whispers. "You're nearly there."

The midwife comes back and tells me I can start pushing on the next contraction. It comes way too quickly for my likely but I grip onto Thom's hand and push as hard as I can.

It is the worse pain imaginable. I am being stretched in places that shouldn't be stretched. This shouldn't be natural. I push with all my might and hope she is coming out alright.

"I can see the baby's head!" my mom exclaims after a few pushes. Thom strains his neck so he can see too but I don't let him let go of my hand.

"She's got dark hair Katniss!" he exclaims with a grin. "Keep going baby. You are amazing. I love you."

Thom kisses my temple again and keeps muttering words of encouragement in my ear. The next contraction comes and I again push with everything I have got.

"You are doing so well Katniss," the midwife says. "One more push and your baby will be here."

I can only nod my head as I continue to feel myself being stretched to the limit. The final contraction comes before I know it and I am pushing and pushing while the others in the room urge me on.

Suddenly the pressure releases and there is a small cry.

I look up to see midwife holding the beautiful baby that is my daughter.

* * *

A couple of hours later the midwives have all left leaving Thom, my mom and I alone with my baby. She has been bathed and cleaned and is wearing a sunflower yellow onesie. I sit up, snuggled back into Thom on the bed with her cradled against my chest and snoozing lightly. I haven't been able to stop looking at her since she has been born. She is so tiny and perfect with her little button nose and shock of dark hair. I have never felt so content in my life.

Thom sits with a massive grin on his face as he absentmindedly strokes our daughter's thick hair with his finger. Mom stands at the end of the bed holding the camera.

"She is so gorgeous Katniss. Have you got a name for her yet?" Mom asks.

I look to Thom and he gives me the nod to tell her.

"We're naming her Sage Primrose Everdeen," I say.

Mom looks touched by the name and she gives us a small nod.

"That's a beautiful name. Prim would have liked it," Mom says a little sadly. "You dad would have been so proud."

I get a twinge of sadness as I realise that my sister and father are not here to meet Sage. Prim would have been ecstatic to meet her and I know dad would have spoilt her rotten. I can feel a tear threatening to fall. Sensing I am upset, Thom gives me a reassuring squeeze and kisses the top of my head.

"You can tell Sage all about them," he says.

I choke back the tears and look down at my daughter and kiss the top of her head. She is my future right now. I can't get caught up in the past.

* * *

I stay in hospital for the next couple of days and get used to handling a new born. I am sore but get stuck right in looking after Sage. The midwives and my mom show me how to bathe her and change her diaper. I begin nursing her, which hurts at first but causes me great joy when I see her feeding for the first time.

It amazes me how quickly Sage becomes the center of my life. I don't go a minute without thinking about her and didn't realise it was possible to love someone so much.

Those first few days Thom is great. He stays with me the first night at the hospital and helps me feed and change her in the middle of the night. He doesn't stop smiling the whole of those first 2 days. He absolutely dotes on Sage always picking her up, bouncing her about and showering her with kisses. He takes countless photos and sends them to everyone he knows. We even get a visit from his parents who give Sage a stuffed elephant as if that was going to make up for the way they have treated us these past 9 months.

I love seeing Thom like this with her. I had been a daddy's girl when I was younger and desperately want that for Sage. I want her to have the family relationship my family had before Dad and Prim died. I constantly sit and watch Thom with Sage with a big goofy grin on my face.

I can't wait to take her home though. Back there we can start to be a proper family. On the second night the hospital tell me I can go home the next morning. I squeal with excitement and babble excitedly to Sage telling her all about her first home. Thom seems excited and says he is going home so he can get things ready. I tell him that's okay and he gives both Sage and I a kiss before he goes. I can't help but think things are going to turn out alright.

The next day Sage wakes me up early and I feed and change her so she is ready to go home. Mom arrives shortly after I have got her changed and helps me pack up the remaining things.

"Where's Thom?" I ask Mom as I watch her pack my clothes while I rock Sage.

"He left early this morning. I assumed he came here," Mom replies.

I frown a little as I bounce Sage up and down. He should have come straight here. I give Sage to my mom so I can search for my cell phone and call him. I find it in the pocket of my holdall and quickly dial his number.

The phone rings and rings until the voicemail message kicks in.

_You've reached Thom. I am too busy having a fucking good time to answer the phone. Leave a message._

I wait for the beep before I leave an annoyed message.

"Hey Thom. It's your girlfriend. Sage and I are leaving the hospital today. I thought you'd be here to take us home. Call us back when you get this message," I say.

I end the message with a huff. Mom looks at me sympathetically.

"Not answering," she states.

I nod my head in confirmation.

"God damn it if he is working on that damn truck instead of being here. I will kill him!" I declare.

Mom gives me another sympathetic look before handing Sage back to me so I can strap her into her car seat.

We wait a while longer but there is still no sign of Thom. I don't want to wait any longer so I leave the hospital with my mom. I sit stewing in the back seat of the car with Sage beside me. I wanted him here for Sage's first day home. This is the start of our lives with her. I am so angry that he is going to miss it. I try calling him again but it continues to go straight to voicemail. I send him a few texts asking where he is and when he is going to be home. He ignores every single one.

Mom pulls up outside our house and helps me unbuckle Sage's car seat out of the car. I take Sage up the steps while Mom takes the rest of the bags. I open the door and take Sage in. I'm not surprised to find Thom not here.

I try not to let the disappointment affect me too much and instead concentrate on Sage.

"This is your first home baby," I coo to Sage.

Sage spits up a little bit in response and I set her down so I can clean her up. Mom comes up behind me and puts the remaining bags down.

"Your home sweet home, Sage," My mom coos.

I smile back at my mother and prepare for my life looking after a new born.

* * *

It's midnight and Thom still hasn't come home or returned any of my calls. I have a strong suspicion that he has gone out partying tonight. I can't believe he isn't here the first night Sage is home. I gave up partying, why can't he? I decide to leave him one last voicemail.

"I can't believe you are not here on Sage's first night home. You are her dad. That's means you stay at home to help look after her instead of getting drunk and high with your friends. Do not come home wasted or I swear to god I will kill you," I angrily rant down the phone. I angrily hang up the phone and slam it down against the bed.

Sage stirs and begins to cry from her crib. I tiredly get myself out of bed so that I can feed her. I lift up my t-shirt and she eagerly nuzzles into my chest, latching onto my breast to get her milk. I watch her as she greedily sucks her dinner.

"You're a greedy little madam aren't you," I say to her, stroking her hair.

She, of course, doesn't reply and carries on sucking. No one else is home. It's just her and me. I am left alone with my thoughts.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has shown interest and support for this story already. I know stories with children that are not both Katniss and Peeta's is not to everyone taste so I appreciate everyone who follows/favourites/reviews the story.**

**This is the last chapter before Peeta appears. He will make his appearance in the next chapter and the story will follow a more conventional Everlark path from then on. I hope you look forward to it.**


	3. Chapter : July

Chapter 3

_July_

_12.03am_

Sage cries. I get up. I feed Sage. I try to get some sleep.

_2.14am_

Sage cries. I get up. I change Sage's diaper. I try to get some sleep.

_4.27am_

Sage cries. I get up. I feed Sage.

I tuck Sage back into her crib and then crawl back into bed. I am so tired. My life is just an endless cycle of feeding Sage. Changing Sage. Bathing Sage. Snatching sleep whenever I can. My limbs ache and I want to cry from exhaustion. I pray to god that she doesn't wake again before 6.

I have barely closed my eyes when I hear a loud crashing sound followed by a few loud swear words coming from the living room. The noise is enough to wake Sage up again and she begins bawling from inside her crib.

I screw my eyes up to stop the tears that threaten to fall. I just want some sleep. Why the hell does he have to be such a disturbance? I wipe a stray tear away with the back of my hand before getting up off the bed to comfort Sage. I pick her up gently and cradle her against my chest, whispering soothing sounds and bouncing her gently up and down. Her cries begin to lessen once I have done so but I know it will be a while before she falls back to sleep again.

Thom comes stumbling into the room moments later and I shoot him a look of pure venom as he enters. Even in his inebriated state he notices my stare and instantly goes on the defence.

"Don't fucking start," he warns as he tears his beer stained shirt off his torso.

I can smell the spirits and weed on him and know he has been at yet another party. This will be the third one this week. I hate that he can go out and leave us without a second thought. The thought of physically leaving Sage makes me sick with panic and fear. I don't want to leave her and I just want him to stay here and help me with Sage.

"I just got Sage down!" I growl at him, still bouncing Sage up and down in my arms. "You stink of smoke and beer. You can't spend all night out partying and then come in and wake Sage up without some consequences!"

Anger fills his eyes. Sage begins to whimper at the angry tone of my voice. I hold her closer to my chest, hoping to shield her from most of the argument.

"I never asked for that piece of shit," he yells gesturing to Sage.

His words knock all the air out of me and Sage cries grow louder at his angry words. I continue to clutch her close to my chest horrified that he could talk about our daughter in that way. His cruel words towards me have little effect, they are nothing new, but I draw a line at insulting Sage. I hate him for it.

"Get out," I say through gritted teeth. "Never talk about our daughter in that way again."

I stare at him venomously. The sight of him right now makes me sick. He stares back at me with equal intent before eventually conceding and throwing on a clean shirt.

"Fine by me. I don't need this agro," he snaps before he storms out.

I hear the front door slam moments later and I wince at the sound. Sage is still howling against my chest and I kiss the top of her head in an effort to soothe her.

A small tear slips down my cheek.

* * *

Sage wakes me earlier than I would have liked and I begin to go about our daily routine. We pass Mom in the kitchen after she comes in from her night shift and I briefly tell her about my fight with Thom only a couple of hours ago. She sighs and gives me a knowing look before kissing Sage and going to bed. I don't feel any better after she is gone.

I keep replaying the argument with Thom over and over again in my head. Things have been leading towards this point for weeks now. After those first couple of days in the hospital he hasn't been the most supportive or loving father. He spends most nights out with his friends getting drunk and high and god knows what else before coming home and then complaining he is too tired to look after Sage. He never picks her up when she cries. He only changes he diaper after I have nagged him to do so. I feel like I am constantly on his case asking him to help out with Sage and I don't like it. I want him to want to do these things for his daughter.

I don't know when he will come back but know our conversation is not finished once he does.

I finish changing Sage's diaper and change her into some day clothes. She gurgles at me as I pull up her trousers and I pull a silly face at her.

"That feel better munchkin?" I ask her rubbing her tummy. "What fun things will we get up to today?"

Sage can only gurgle again in response and I sigh as I pick her up and hold her against my chest.

I wasn't prepared for the loneliness I would feel after Sage was born. You would think spending 24 hours a day with another human being could never get lonely but Sage can't talk back. I spend my whole day talking and singing to someone who is unable to reply.

I love Sage but I crave some adult conversation. Anything other than hearing the sound of my own voice. But Mom sleeps most of the day and Thom is often MIA working on his truck. I haven't seen any of my friends since Sage has been born. A baby is too much for them to handle. They don't know how to relate to me and can't be bothered to try. It would only get in the way of the endless parties and booze. I have begun to realise that they may have never been my friends in the first place.

Most of them I don't really care about seeing anymore but it hurts how much Gale has cut me out of his life. Most of the time I only see him across the street as he leaves every morning. He came round a couple of times with Thom but he has still not figured out how to talk to me and spent most of the time playing video games with Thom. I miss having a person I could share anything with.

I have never felt so alone.

I carry Sage through to the living room and place her on her multicoloured mat. I pick up a stuffed octopus that rattles and dangle it above her head.

"Want to play with Olly the Octopus today?" I say jiggling the toy above her head. Sage reaches her arms up towards it.

"Olly likes playing with you. He likes swimming in the sea and finding stuff for tea," I sing song.

Sage continues to reach for the toy and I move it up and down out of her reach. She is fascinated by the colours and her eyes are fixed on the toy. I enjoy playing with her for a few minutes before I lower the toy to the ground and watch her continue to stare at it. I sit back on my hands.

Another day begins.

* * *

Thom reappears just after lunch and sheepishly enters the kitchen. I am in the middle of feeding Sage and I eye him cautiously as he comes over not wanting him to disturb Sage again. He sits down opposite me and reaches out to stroke Sage's head as she continues to suckle at my chest.

"I'm sorry okay," he states. "I didn't mean to wake her up."

"If you stayed in you wouldn't have," I reply bitterly.

"Look I just need some space. I have you nagging at me all day about helping out with Sage. I just need a break," he continues.

"And you don't think I would like a break too? I'm with Sage 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't get a break! I just want your support!" I reply.

Sage has stopped feeding now so I pull my top back down and lift her up so I can burp her.

"I do support you. I change her diaper and clean up after her," Thom replies defensively.

"Only once I have asked you. I shouldn't need to ask. You should want to do these things for your daughter."

"I'm here now aren't I? Most guys would have fucked off long before now!" he replies his voice getting louder.

I feel Sage begin to tense in my arms. I hate that she witnesses these arguments. This is not a good environment for her to be raised in. I stand up and place her in her bassinette that sits in the living room before going back through to finish my conversation with Thom.

"It takes more than just living here to support her! You should be out looking for a job. She's growing everyday and the bills are starting to add up," I state.

Thom rolls his eyes at me.

"Not this again. Your constant nagging isn't making me want to get a job!" he yells. "I am my own man. I do what I want!"

"But don't you see? You can't be selfish anymore. You have a daughter who depends on you!" I scream back.

Thom is getting agitated again and I can see he is about to blow his top.

"I don't even know why I bothered coming back! All you do is nag me! I hate you!" he bellows.

His last words don't have much effect on me. We have both screamed them on countless occasions before. We have always said them just as often as the words I love you. Sage has started crying again and I give him an angry stare as I rush past him to get to her.

By the time I have calmed her down again he has gone.

* * *

He stays away for 3 days. It is the longest he has been gone since Sage has been born. Mom asks me to think about Sage and how our relationship is affecting her. I know it is not good that she is hearing us scream and shout at each other but things have to work out with Thom. He is her father. I still want us to be a family. I hope that when he finally gets himself a job he will own up to his responsibilities more. I know Mom thinks I am being naïve and stupid but I want Sage to have both her parents in her life.

That is until I get a text from Johanna on the third day.

_Thought you should know Thom hooked up with Leevy. He's being staying with her these last couple of days._

Anger and resentment are the best words to describe how I feel after this text. I am surprised in the first place Johanna has texted me. She hasn't made any effort since Sage has been born. I guess on some level she is still looking out for me as a friend.

I hate that he could do this. He's cheated on me before but this is definitely the worse case. Not only has he betrayed me but he has betrayed Sage. He has put his own selfish needs ahead of his daughter's. It hurts me that he can so easily go off with someone else. That he probably hasn't thought about how his actions affect me and Sage. And I know he won't come back full of remorse. He will probably be smug that he did it.

I've had enough. He's proven to me that he is not serious about being there for Sage. Parties, girls and trucks are more important to him. I am sick of having the same arguments over and over again with him. Mom is right. He's not going to change. At this moment the best thing for Sage is for her parents not to be together. I storm into my bedroom and begin throwing his things into bags. Once I am done I send him a picture of his packed things and wait to see his response.

He arrives 20 minutes later with a fire blazing behind his eyes.

"What the fuck?" he demands as he sees his stuff out on the street.

"I've had enough. I know you slept with Leevy. I don't want you living with us anymore," I state calmly.

Just as I expected he shows no remorse for what he has done. Instead he narrows his eyes and snatches up one of his bags.

"Whatever," he states. "I don't want to be around you and that fucking mistake any way."

I want to hit him for what he said about Sage. Does he not care about her at all? He was equally responsible for creating her. How dare he resent her for that?

"Go," is all I say in response. The sooner he has gone the better.

He snatches up the remainder of his things, throwing them into his truck and driving away without looking back.

I watch him leave before going back inside and to the daughter who needs me.

I spend that night crying silently with Sage curled up beside me. I cry for all the hurt he has caused me, but mainly I cry for Sage and the father she is not going to have. I only wanted her to have a happy and stable family life.

* * *

The first few days after he leaves I feel even lonelier than I did before. Up until this point I had never seriously considering raising Sage on my own. I had just assumed Thom would eventually grow up and be there to help me. Now he is gone I find it all that more daunting.

Mom encourages me to leave the house. I have barely left since Sage was born and she tells me that sitting and moping about the house isn't going to make anything better. I resist a little at first. I don't really feel up to facing the real world just yet and the judgemental stares that come with it. However on a particularly sunny Monday I decide it is too nice to stay inside. I strap Sage into her stroller, put her in her sun hat, cover her in sun screen and tuck in her toy rabbit before deciding to head to the nearby park.

The minute I step out the door I immediately relax. I have always enjoyed the outdoors and walking along in the warm breeze with the smell of freshly cut grass instantly perks up my senses and gets my endorphins running. It's been too long since I have been outdoors. Sage seems to love it too and stares at the many new wonders we encounter on our way to the park.

The park is busy due to the nice weather and summer vacation. It is full of young kids chasing soccer balls and throwing Frisbees. I look at them fondly wondering how long it will be before Sage is running about the park like them. If she is anything like me she will always want to be outdoors.

However as soon as we enter the park Sage falls asleep and I have to be content with just pushing her through the park as she sleeps. I don't mind too much as I get to savour the feeling of being out and about again. I finally begin to feel good again as I stroll leisurely around the park.

Unfortunately my mood quickly sours as I stroll past Glimmer and her bunch of cronies lounging around by the large duck pond. Some of the guys are throwing a football between themselves while the girls stretch out sunbathing in the heat.

I try to move past them without being noticed but Glimmer's eagle eyes easily spot me and she sits up on her arms in preparation for her latest triad against me.

"Watch out guys. Katniss Everdeen might trip and accidently fall on your dick. Isn't that how she got pregnant the last time? What a fucking whore," she sneers.

I force myself to ignore her and try to walk past without looking at her and rising to the bait.

I curse my bad luck. Haven't they gone off to college yet? I know Glimmer got into Princeton, just like every other member of her family, and even the most stupid of her friends have been able to buy a place into a college out of town. Can't they just go already and leave me alone.

I think I have succeeded in ignoring them when I bump into large man and jolt Sage awake. She begins screaming her head off at the sudden interruption of her sleep and I have to stop and drop everything to comfort her. The fat man I bumped into looks at me angrily before glancing down and spotting Sage.

"You bloody teen moms! Can't do anything right!" he snaps at me.

I apologise profusely while scooping Sage up in my arms and trying to get her to stop crying. The man shakes his head at me before going over to join his equally fat wife and 2 chubby children. I try not to judge him like he judged me.

I cradle Sage in my arms and try to calm her.

"Shh baby. It's okay. Nothing is going to happen to you. Mommy is sorry for waking you," I coo into her ear, kissing her head and stroking her hair.

But it's not working. She continues to howl and cry as I bounce her up and down.

To my side I can hear Glimmer and her friends cackling at my expense.

"You shouldn't be allowed out if you can't keep your baby from crying in public. It ruins it for the rest of us," Glimmer drones.

I try to block out her words and concentrate on soothing Sage. I don't need a reminder of how embarrassing this is.

"Please Sage. Stop crying. Stop crying for Mommy," I plead my emotions beginning to rise up in my chest, threatening to overwhelm me.

"How does it feel to not be able to comfort your own baby? You must be a really crap mother," Glimmer adds insult to injury.

I screw my eyes up and try not to cry. The feeling of loneliness after Thom has gone and her words aren't doing much for my confidence that I can look after Sage on my own. I feel completely hopeless as Sage continues to bawl in my arms.

"Must suck to know you are such a pathetic loser," Glimmer says.

"I hope you are not talking about me," a male voice asks in a joking manner.

Glimmer turns round to look at the owner of the voice before jumping up and squealing in delight at the person's arrival.

"You're back!" she screeches as she jumps onto the medium built young man with floppy blond hair. "I thought you weren't due back until Thursday?"

The young man laughs as he returns her hug and ruffles her hair as he releases her. Glimmer frowns at him and immediately goes to smooth her sleek hair back down.

"Last minute change of plans. Thought I'd come back and surprise you all," the man replies.

Glimmer smiles excitedly at him before yanking him down to sit beside her.

"I'm so glad you are home," she gushes. "It's so boring with just Mom and Dad."

The young man smiles and nods as he listens to her prattle on.

I spy a look at him as Sage finally begins to calm down and am thankful that Glimmer's attention has been turned away from me.

I recognise the man she is with as her brother Peeta Mellark. She has 3 older brothers, Peeta being the youngest. Even though he is 4 years older I am still aware of who is and the legend he left behind at high school. His picture still hangs in the gym hall in remembrance of the two state championships he led the school football team to. He must have just graduated from Princeton after attending with a football scholarship. He is still talked about in school today like a god.

It doesn't help that he has the reputation for being one of the nicest guys in Panem. Before he went off to college he used to work in one of the many bakeries the Mellark's own. His muscular physique, cerulean blue eyes and charming personality had girls queuing up outside the shop. I remember going in with my dad and Prim and he was always cheery and would often sneak an extra cookie for my sister.

The last four years have not done him any harm and he chats away to Glimmer and her friends amiably. He catches my eye while Glimmer is the middle of a seemingly long story about a dress their mother forced her to wear. He smiles at me warmly before I avert my gaze and concentrate on Sage.

She has finally settled so I place her back into her stroller and rearrange her hat before finally moving on and getting away from them.

I have only gone a few feet when I hear a voice calling me back.

"Hey wait up," Peeta's voice calls.

I reluctantly stop and turn round slowly dreading what he could possibly want to say to me.

"You dropped this," Peeta says holding out Sage's stuffed bunny toy.

I reach out to accept the toy. It is the toy Mom bought for her and one of Sage's favourites. She would have been upset if I had lost it.

"Er thanks," I say a little awkwardly hoping I can now go and get away from here.

"I'm sorry about my sister. I am under no illusions that she can be a bitch. She's been spoilt too much. But that's no excuse for what she said to you," Peeta says.

I nod my head slowly at his apology. But Peeta has stopped looking at me and now strains to look into the stroller to catch a glimpse of Sage.

"She's gorgeous," he says peering into the stroller. "What's her name?"

I look at him a bit stunned that he asking me questions. I study him trying to figure out what he is playing at.

"Sage," I reply a little cautiously as I continue to study him.

Peeta grins at my words.

"Great choice of name. One of my favourite ingredients to use. Got to love anything named Sage," he replies. "How old is she?"

I am still perplexed about why he is talking to me and showing an interest in Sage. But it has been so long since I have had an adult conversation with anyone other than my mom and Thom that I eagerly answer him.

"Just turned 8 weeks, though it seems like I have had her forever," I reply.

Peeta smiles warmly at me again.

"I bet it does. You must be exhausted. I take it she doesn't sleep through the night yet?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"I've given up sleep until Kim Kardashian had been made president," I joke.

Peeta chuckles.

"I'm Peeta by the way," he introduces himself, sticking out his hand.

"Katniss," I reply taking his hand and shaking it firmly.

"Katniss and Sage," Peeta repeats with a smile. "Two beautiful names for two beautiful girls."

I blush a little at his compliment. I don't feel beautiful today. I had just thrown on an old pair of jean shorts and baggy t-shirt before I came out. I haven't spent any time taking care of my appearance since Sage was born.

Peeta doesn't seem to notice as he is busy pulling faces at Sage in her stroller. She looks up at him curiously as he begins to play an overly dramatic game of peek-a-boo. Sage watches him carefully for a few moments before breaking into a big smile after a particularly silly reveal from Peeta.

I stop and look at her in amazement at seeing her smile for the first time.

"Sage did you just smile?" I ask with a big grin on my face. Sage smiles in response and I give a yelp in excitement as I pick her up and shower her with kisses. Her smile has to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Peeta watches us with a genuine joy on his face and his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"She's never smiled before huh?" he asks.

I shake my head while still cooing and praising Sage. Peeta's smile gets even bigger and I can't help but think what a nice smile he has. It's impossibly wide, reaching up to the top of his ears and making his eyes shine like the sun. If I hadn't just seen Sage's smile I would have said he has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

"Well, I'll let you get on. She really is adorable. You seem to be doing a really good job with her," he says.

I smile at him gratefully and he nods his head in departure. I hold Sage close and kiss the top of her head as I watch him walk back to his sister and her friends. I can see Glimmer look at him quizzically and begin to question him demandingly when he sits down but he passes her questions off with a laugh. He looks back at me and gives me another kind smile. I return it before turning round to place Sage back in her stroller.

As I strap her in I can't help but think how surprisingly genuine and nice Peeta Mellark was.

* * *

**A/N: So Peeta has finally appeared! I know it is only a brief introduction but we will see a lot more of him from now on. **

**Thanks again to everyone who has followed/favourited/reviewed this story so far. Your support is much appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4: August

**A/N: Thanks again to everyone who supports this story. I'm glad people enjoyed Peeta's introduction. There will be lots more of him from now on. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 4

_August_

Sage wriggles in the sink as I put her into it to get washed. However the minute the water touches her toes she relaxes and lets of a childish giggle. She giggled for the first time a couple of days ago while I was doing a ridiculous puppet show with her stuffed animals. The sound had caused me to freeze on the spot as I marvelled at the sweet childish sound she had just produced. It has to be the most exquisite sound in the entire world.

Since then I have repeatedly tried to get her to giggle again, singing silly songs, pulling strange faces and blowing raspberries on her tummy. Her giggle is like a drug that causes me to become giddy and light headed. I am addicted to the sound.

Sage loves the water and continues to giggle as I wash her body and tickle her tummy.

"You are a ticklish little monkey, aren't you?" I say to her as I tickle her toes. Sage giggles again. "Hmm. I wonder if all your toes are tickly? I better found out!"

I then proceed to tickle every one of her toes counting each one as I go. Sage seems to love this and her giggles get more frequent and high pitched.

I love moments like this. Moments when it is just Sage and I and I can just enjoy being with her. It is moments like this that make all the sleepless nights and monotonous days worth it. I let myself bask in the pride I feel for my little girl when she is like this. I could spend hours just looking at her and coming up with different ways to make her laugh.

But I can't.

Sage needs to be dried and changed. She needs to be feed.

I then have to put the washing on and put away the last load.

The trash needs to go out and the kitchen cleaned.

Groceries need to be picked up.

My life seems to be an endless list of chores and looking after Sage. I have no time to do anything else.

Reluctantly I wrap Sage in a fluffy towel and begin drying and changing her. I might as well make a start now. I finish changing Sage into a striped t-shirt and dungarees before putting her into her bouncing chair and making a start on the rest of the day's chores. Sage's eyes follow me curiously around the room as I do so.

Everything has seemed so much harder since Thom left. He may have been useless but at least he was there. My adult interactions were limited enough even when he was here. Now he is gone the loneliness is almost crippling. Sage is growing every day and it seems that every day she has learned to do something new. I desperately want someone around that I can share all these amazing things that she is learning. Mom listens but I barely get to see her with her shifts and it's not quite the same for her any way. She has experienced all these firsts with Prim and I, it is not as exciting for her now. I want someone around who gets as excited and amazed at the things Sage does as I do.

The naive part of me keeps expecting Thom to just walk through the door and finally take his responsibilities seriously. He will apologise and prove to me he can be a good dad to Sage. I know this might be a silly dream but I cling to this hope for Sage's sake. She deserves a good father.

* * *

I have just finished cleaning the kitchen when Mom gets up and comes through in her bathrobe. She flicks on the kettle and waits for it to boil so she can pour herself a cup of tea. I give her a tired smile as she enters and continue to put away the mop and bucket as she waits for her tea. Sage is sleeping in my bedroom now so Mom and I actually have some time together alone.

I begin preparing a simple lunch of tomato soup and bread as Mom takes her cup of tea and takes it to the kitchen table. There is a pile of mail on the table and Mom winces as she picks it up. I had flicked through it earlier as I had brought it in and had seen a lot of "Final Notice" stamps on the envelopes.

"It's bad isn't it?" I ask concerned.

Mom nods her head.

"They've cut my shifts at the nursing home and with Sage, bills are adding up," she replies stressed.

I place the bowls of soup down on the table and take a seat opposite Mom.

"Can we afford to pay them?" I ask again.

"For this month, just. But I don't know how we are going to get through next month," Mom sighs.

I chew my bottom lip. I am not an idiot. I know costs have been adding up. Sage is continuously growing and is always needing something new. Mom salary isn't much and I feel guilty that whenever it comes in I take half of it away so I can feed and clothe Sage. I know we will need to find some extra cash from somewhere if I am going to be able to continue to provide for my daughter.

"I could get job," I suggest.

Mom looks at me tiredly and puts the mail down.

"You may have too. I don't think we will get through next month without one. Though I don't know how it would work with childcare…" Mom says her words trailing off as she thinks of an appropriate solution.

I have never had a job. I was too busy partying and getting high to bother with one before. But I know I will eventually need to get one. I can't keep relying on Mom forever. Sage is my priority and I should be the one providing for her. And I want to be a good role model for her. I want her to know it is not okay to just coast through in life and that we have to work hard to achieve the things we want.

I just don't know how many job opportunities there will be for a single mom with only a high school diploma.

"Of course if Thom was paying child support things would be a little easier," Mom says looking at me expectedly.

"You know he won't return my calls," I sigh.

Thom hasn't spoken to me since he left. I heard that he's crashing at Darius's place and is partying harder than ever. I resent him for forgetting about us so completely.

"Well maybe it's time we get the courts in. He is legally obliged to support his daughter. You can't be the only one held responsible for her," Mom argues.

"We don't have the money to get the courts involved," I say. "And I am too tired for the hassle it will cause."

"Don't let him get away with stuff just because it is too hard. Sage deserves better than that."

I hang my head knowing Mom is right. I just don't want any more arguments with him. Things are complicated enough as it is.

"Let me try to get in contact with him again. I can maybe ask Gale to pass a message onto him. In the meantime I will get a job. Hopefully that will ease your burden," I say.

Mom reaches across the table, grabs my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"You and Sage are not a burden on me," she says with firm voice. "I will always help as much as I can."

I give her a grateful smile before we are interrupted by Sage's cries. I let go of Mom's hand and go through to Sage. She needs feeding.

* * *

I stay up late that night writing a resume I can hand out to potential employers. However I quickly grow disheartened with the meagre qualifications I can put on it. There is only so much space high school diploma can take up on a page. I realise I have no experience in anything. I won't be surprised if most places just laugh in my face when I hand it over.

But I've got to try. I am doing this for Sage.

* * *

The next morning I get up early and prepare Sage and myself for our mission today. At least now Sage is sleeping for longer periods and I am feeling more rested than I have in months. Sage gurgles and bounces in her stroller as I strap her in. She already loves going outside. It is full of wondrous things such as buses and mail boxes for her to discover and experience.

I haul her stroller onto the bus that takes us into the center of the city. I decide Market Street will be the best place to start. You can't need many qualifications to work a cash register right?

Sage loves the bus and the range of people that ride on them. Once we have sat down she spends the entire journey staring at a teenage boy playing on his iphone mesmorised by his backwards baseball cap and frantically moving fingers. She is beginning to become curious about the world around her. She is quite a quiet child and spends large amounts of her day just staring at objects and people trying to figure them out.

The bus drops us off at the end of Market Street and I mentally prepare myself for the task ahead. Market Street is the main shopping street in the city. It is full of jewellery shops, butchers, bakers and numerous gift shops. Every shop in this part of town is owned by locals and most of the products have been made in the city. Hopefully there will be somewhere here that will hire me.

I rearrange Sage's hat and make sure she is settled. Sage blows a raspberry at me.

"Okay Sage. Mommy's going to get a job. Do you think I can do it?" I ask her.

Sage just kicks her feet in response.

"I'll take that as a yes," I say placing a kiss on her cheek and standing up to push her into the nearest shop.

The first shop I enter is a small furniture boutique. All the furniture is of the English country house style that seems to be so popular with Panem's middle classes right now. The bell rings and a preppy woman in her mid twenties appears behind the counter. She gives me a fake smile as I push Sage in.

"How can I help you today?" she asks with fake cheeriness.

"I was wondering if you have any job vacancies. I'm looking for a job," I ask while handing her my resume.

She takes it with another fake smile.

"You might be in luck. My recent sales assistant has just been promoted. We are looking for someone to replace her," she replies. I thank my lucky stars that I seem to have stumbled on something already.

"So you don't want to be a nanny anymore?" the woman asks as she takes my resume and nods her head at Sage.

"Oh, I'm not a nanny," I reply correcting her mistake.

I see her eyes widen in surprise as she takes in Sage and I together and pieces together how we are related. The judgement is clear in her eyes.

"Oh, I see…" she says in realisation. "Well what a lovely daughter you have. We will get in touch with you if we need you."

She is uncomfortable now and I can sense her desire to get me out the door as soon as possible. With a sinking feeling I realise she is no longer eager to hire me. She holds the door open for me as she ushers Sage and I outside. She shuts the door before I can say anything else. I turn round to stare at her through the glass just in time to see her throw my resume in the trash.

Things don't improve as I go from shop to shop. The best are polite and tell me they will get in touch if anything crops up but I know they won't. The worst ones come straight out and tell me that they won't hire a teen mom.

2 hours later I am feeling utterly deflated and demoralised. I don't see how I am ever going to get a job. I trudge to the bus stop at the other end of the street and park Sage's stroller as we wait for the bus. While we are waiting I spot one of the Mellark's bakeries across the street.

I am suddenly flooded with memories of my father taking Prim and I there on special occasions. There are several Mellark bakeries across the state and they have become the place to get hearty bread and elaborate cakes. This has made the Mellark family very rich and Glimmer extremely spoilt.

Prim loved the cakes and would always beg Dad to buy her one of the many intricately decorated cupcakes on display. However once dad had eventually conceded and bought it for her she would refuse to eat it, declaring she didn't want to eat anything so pretty. I pang of sadness over comes me at the memory.

My mind then flashes back to meeting Peeta in the park and I suddenly get a desperate urge to go into the bakery again and buy one of their delicious cakes. I wait for the traffic to pass before crossing the road and entering the bakery opposite.

I push open the door to be met with the sweet smells of cinnamon, honey and lemon. The smells instantly make my stomach grumble. A small bell rings as we enter and the man behind the counter looks over at us as he finishes serving his most recent customer. I am a bit taken aback that it is Peeta's bright blue eyes that I meet.

He smiles brightly when he sees us, like we are exactly the two people he wanted to see at this moment. The customer he is serving leaves and Peeta makes his way over from behind the counter.

"Katniss it is good to see you!" he exclaims as he stops by Sage's stroller. He genuinely seems to mean it as he peers into Sage's stroller to catch a look at her.

"Wow, I can't believe how big she's gotten!" he declares.

"Tell me about it," I reply. "I swear she has gained a pound every time I look at her."

Peeta grins at me.

"May I?" he asks gesturing towards Sage. I realise that he wants to hold her.

"No go ahead," I reply nodding my head at him.

Peeta's smile widens as he dips his hands in the stroller and lifts Sage out. He pulls a silly face at her as he does so and begins to lift her up and down in the air. Sage seems to like this game and immediately shows her appreciation by rewarding him with a giggle. Peeta's eyes widen in amazement at the sound and I am transfixed by how animated he is with her.

"You can giggle now?" he asks her still continuing to lift her up and down in the air. This of course just makes her giggle again. Peeta continues to have a ridiculous big grin on his face.

"You are really good with her," I say amazed at watching him entertain my daughter so easily.

"You caught me. Babies are my weakness," he replies his eyes still on Sage. "I am absolutely putty when they are around. I keep telling Bran to hurry up and marry Lavinia and give me nieces and nephews!"

I smile at his response. It is good to know that not all men are like Thom.

Peeta continues to lift Sage up in the air for a few moments before eventually tiring and cradling her against his chest where he resumes pulling silly faces at her.

"I didn't realise you still work here," I ask curious to know why he still working in the bakery even though he must now have a college degree.

"I was always going to come back. Though not working the front. I'm in the process of taking over the running of the business from Dad. I've been dying to get my hands on the business for years now. The whole chain needs to be updated. However we're a bit short staffed at the moment. I've spent more time serving customers than actually improving the business," he replies finally taking his eyes off Sage and looking at me.

"I've always loved working here. I find baking therapeutic. And with Bran and Rye busy fulfilling my mother's dreams of having a doctor and lawyer in the family, the bakeries are all mine. I want to make sure they are still here for my own children to enjoy," he adds.

I nod my head in understanding and then Sage makes a little cry and spits up. Peeta chuckles before handing Sage back to me.

"I'll let you handle that," he says as I take Sage and wipe the mess off her chin. Peeta continues to stare at us both his face growing a little sombre.

"I remember your sister coming in here. She used to press her nose right up against the glass to look at the cakes," he says.

I look at him a bit stunned. Hundreds of people must have passed through these doors. I can't believe that he remembers my sister.

"I was sorry to hear about her and your dad," Peeta adds solemnly.

I nod my head and hold Sage close to me. I haven't really allowed myself to think about them since they died. I still find it too painful.

"Thank you," I reply my voice laced with sadness.

Peeta smiles at me sympathetically and senses that this is not a topic I want to dwell on.

"So what are you doing out and about today?" he asks changing the subject.

I relax a little with the change in conversation, even if the answer to his question is not causing me a lot of joy at the moment.

"I'm trying to find a job. Finances are getting a bit tight," I explain.

Peeta's eyes strangely perk up at my words.

"That's great! You can work here!" he states.

I look back at him perplexed. The thought never occurred to me to apply here. Knowing it was Glimmer's family who runs it put me off. He doesn't even know my qualifications. Why would he offer me a job on the spot?

"I'm not sure…" I say uncertainly as I begin to rock Sage back to sleep. "I don't think your sister would like me working here."

"You actually think Glimmer comes here? She would have to eat cake to do so," Peeta replies.

I allow myself a small smirk at his words. Glimmer is definitely a salad and water type of girl.

"But you know nothing about me. I don't have any experience of working in a bakery," I say.

"You'd just be working the counter. It's not hard. I can even be flexible to fit round Sage's schedule," he says.

I weigh up his words in my head. It sounds too good to be true. It is just the type of job I am looking for. Sure, it may not be a long term prospect but it would be a job. Can I really turn down such a good offer?

I stare at Peeta as I make my decision. I can see he is really genuine about helping me and desperate for me to say yes. I don't quite understand why he is so nice to me. Are there really people this kind and good hearted? I take a deep breath before answering.

"I'll take it," I reply.

Peeta smiles the biggest smile I think I have ever seen.

"Great! When can you start?" he asks.

* * *

A week later I stand in the kitchen wearing my new navy Mellark Bakery polo shirt while sorting out all that Sage will need while I am at work.

"All her milk is in the fridge. There should be plenty to keep her going. She won't go to sleep without her bunny. She likes to be sung to when she gets grumpy…" I list to my Mom who is holding Sage in her arms. She watches me as I fuss about the kitchen making sure everything is there.

"Katniss I have looked after a baby before," my mom replies rubbing Sage's back.

I stop my fussing and look at her.

"I know, it's just this is the first time I've left her with someone else," I say moving forward to stroke my daughter's head.

Mom looks at me sympathetically.

"I know it is hard leaving her but we will be fine," my mom reassures.

I nod my head but still don't feel any better about leaving her. I feel it is my duty to look after her.

I was able to work it out with Peeta to only work on days my mom has off so she can look after Sage when I am at work. But now the time has come I don't want to leave Sage. I have been her sole care giver since the day she was born. The thought of leaving her is filling me with dread. What if something happens while I am away? What if she misses me? I feel a terrible mother for leaving her.

I check my watch and see that I can't put if off any longer. I need to leave now if I am going to make it in time for my first shift. I bend down to kiss Sage.

"Okay, Mommy's got to go now. I'll miss you. Be good for Grandma," I say to Sage.

She looks at me a little perplexed and I have to force myself to look away before my resolves crumbles and I call Peeta and tell him I can't work for him.

"I'm going to go now. Call me if anything happens," I say to Mom.

"Relax honey. Everything is going to be fine. Have a good first day at work," Mom says.

I nod my head, take one last look at Sage and dash out the door.

* * *

Peeta is waiting for me when I arrive at the bakery 20 minutes later.

"Hey," he says cheerily as I enter. "Welcome to your first day."

I smile at him weakly but all I can really think about is Sage and how she is coping without me there.

"Come through to the back. You can put your things there and then I will show you around," Peeta says leading me through to a small staff room in the back of the bakery.

Peeta shows me the kitchens and introduces me to the two middle aged bakers, Castor and Pollox, who happen to be brothers and apparently make the best raisin nut cookies in the entire state. Next he shows me the stock room and his office before finally taking me to the shop front and introducing me to the other sales assistant, Bonnie. She must be a couple of years old than me and she smiles at me kindly when Peeta introduces us. Peeta then spends the next few minutes showing me how to work the cash register and what to do if someone comes in to make an order.

"I think I've got it," I say to Peeta after he gets me to fill out a practise order. He smiles at me warmly before putting the order book back on the shelf.

"There's really nothing to it. If you need any help just knock on my office door," he says.

I nod my head and thank him for the help before he gives me one last smile and heads back to get some work done. Bonnie smiles at me again once he leaves before letting me take the next customer that comes through the door.

Peeta is right. There is not much to this job. Just listen carefully to the customers and smile and laugh at all their jokes. I may not be the world's best people person but I think I do alright and all the customers seem happy enough.

I may even enjoy their adult conservation if I didn't spend so much time thinking about Sage. I check my cell phone constantly to see if I have got any messages from Mom. I phone her on my break to remind her to feed Sage and give her her bunny toy. Mom reassures me that Sage is fine and that she has got everything under control. I want to believe her but I just feel so guilty for being here.

Peeta comes through to check up on me at lunchtime and takes a seat opposite me. He takes out a rather mouth-watering looking chicken and bacon sandwich filled with juicy lettuce and tomato. I reluctantly put my cell phone back in my purse and try to keep my mind off Sage.

"How's your first day going?" he asks me after taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Fine I guess. I just can't stop thinking about Sage. It's ridiculous. I've only been gone a couple of hours but I miss her," I state.

Peeta gives me a small smile.

"I think that's only natural. I would have been more concerned if you weren't thinking about her," Peeta replies.

I smile at him gratefully. I don't feel like such a basket case after his words.

"I guess I am just jealous that Mom is spending time with Sage when I can't. I don't want to miss anything," I say.

Peeta gives me a sympathetic smile before we fall into a comfortable silence as we eat.

The song on the radio turns to my favourite band The Tributes. They are a local band that has hit the big time in the last couple of months. I love them for their almost folksy tunes and soulful lyrics. Peeta immediately puts his sandwich done and moves to turn the radio up. I look at him a bit surprised.

"You like The Tributes?" I ask stunned.

"Of course. I hate all that mainstream crap. This is real music," he states.

I sit back in my chair impressed. I figured a jock type like him would only be into chart music and not appreciate credible artists.

"I'm impressed. Have you seen them live?" I ask.

"They weren't really appreciated in New Jersey when I was at school there. Though I would kill to see them now," he replies.

"I saw them last summer. Incredible. Such an authentic sound. The whole place was absolutely banging when they performed Victors," I respond eagerly.

I haven't talked about music in a long time. Before I was pregnant with Sage I loved it. I would go to 3 or 4 gigs with Gale and Johanna a month. I loved getting lost in the beat and feeling free from reality. Talking about it again makes me feel like I have a new lease of life. I hadn't realised how much I had missed music up until this point. Nursery rhymes just aren't enough.

"I can't even tell you how jealous I am of you. Have you heard there new stuff? I'm loving their song The Hanging Tree," Peeta says animatedly.

I nod my head and we begin a deep discussion about the more folksy sound of their new album and what we think of them hitting the mainstream.

As I am talking to him I realise that I haven't had a conversation like this in a long time. Everything has been about babies, diapers and bills for the past year. I relax talking to Peeta and am able to stop worrying about Sage for a moment. I've felt like I am 30 years old these past few months. It is nice finally having a conversation that a normal person my age would have. I feel 18 again.

The remainder of the shift passes quicker after that. Near the end of the day Peeta comes out to the shop front and makes me laugh with his impressions of some of the more regular customers. I relax a bit more and dare I saw it, begin to enjoy it. The end of the day can't come quick enough though and I rush out the door as soon as Peeta releases me so I can get home to Sage.

I find Mom playing with her on her knee when I enter and I immediately rush over to Sage, scoop her up in my arms and plant her with lots of kisses.

"Did you miss me?" I ask Sage. "I missed you. I thought about you all day."

Mom smiles at me as she watches us.

"I told you we'd be okay," she says with a knowing look.

I give her an annoyed stare before planting more kisses on the top of Sage's head.

I am so glad to be with home with her again. I still feel guilty for leaving her. I feel even guiltier for actually enjoying some of it.


	5. Chapter 5: September

Chapter 5

_September_

I wrap the freshly baked cinnamon rolls for Caesar Flickerman and hand them over to him with a smile.

"I hope your murder mystery party goes well," I say to him as he tucks the rolls under his arm.

"I am sure if will be delightful! I really am a fantastic host!" he exclaims.

I smile at him again and he waves at me as goes out the door. He is not a man who could be described as modest.

"Will that man ever stop dying his hair?" Bonnie asks once he is a good distance from the shop. "He looks like the Queen of Hearts with that red hair and lips!"

The corners of my mouth tug up into a smile. It is true Caesar Flickerman changes his hair colour frequently. In the 5 weeks I have worked here his hair has been green, orange and now red. I suppose his appearance keeps us entertained.

Bonnie finishes rearranging the cake display in the window before turning around and pulling off her apron.

"I need to get going for that doctor's appointment. The toe has turned green now," she states as she hangs up her apron on a peg.

I scrunch my nose in disgust. Bonnie has an issue with over sharing. Her ingrown toenail has been described to me in graphic detail. Peeta comes through just as she is putting on her jacket. He offered to take the last 2 hours of her shift so that she can go and get her toe checked out. I smile at him as he enters.

"I hope everything goes okay at the doctors. I still expect you in tomorrow even if they have to amputate," Peeta jokes.

Bonnie shakes her head at him as she pulls her ponytail through her jacket collar.

"So glad to know I have such an understanding boss," Bonnie replies sarcastically.

"Employee satisfaction is important to me," Peeta grins.

Bonnie rolls her eyes before picking up her satchel and waving goodbye to us as she pushes the door to leave.

Peeta turns to me now with a big smile.

"It's your lucky day Katniss. A whole 2 hours with me!" he says.

"I get paid extra to put up with your silly ass right?" I ask sarcastically.

Peeta laughs.

"Just you wait and see. I've spent years working this front. I know all the best ways to have fun out here," he replies.

It is my turn to grin before the next customer comes in and Peeta greets them cheerily.

The truth is I don't mind working with Peeta at all. In fact I almost look forward to it. Since I started work here I have gotten to know him pretty well. He's more than just my boss. He always comes through to have lunch with me. He asks about Sage and we talk about the bands we both like. Though I was mildly appalled when I discovered he has an affiliation for 90's boybands. He's just easy to talk to and he makes me laugh. He's filled the void that Gale and Johanna vacated. I would even classify him as a friend.

I watch him interact with the customers as they come through the door and marvel at how easy it is for him. He sets up a rapport with them instantly. He greets them with a cheery smile and kind words that I never for a second doubt aren't genuine. It is just natural for him. I may think I am doing alright with the customers and even getting a rapport with some of the more regular ones, but it is nothing compared to how Peeta acts with them. Whether it is being silly with the small children, talking sports with the teenage boys or inquiring about grandchildren with old ladies, Peeta charms everyone that walks through that door. It is not what I would have expected from someone related to Glimmer.

"How are you and Glimmer even related?" I ask after Peeta has just finished joking with a middle aged housewife. "It would kill Glimmer to be that nice."

Peeta chuckles.

"Glim definitely takes after Mom. I think it doesn't help that we have all spoiled her rotten over the years. She's used to getting what she wants without having to be nice about it," he replies.

I shake my head in disbelief at him.

"I'd still be asking for a DNA test if I were you. You are just complete opposites," I state.

Peeta shrugs his shoulders.

"Where you the exact same as your sister?" he asks.

I look down at me feet. He has a point. Prim and I didn't even look alike. She was blonde haired and blue eyed while I am dark with grey eyes. She looked more like Peeta's sister than mine. And while I am wilder and adventurous, Prim was sweet and kind. A lot of people would have questioned that we were related too.

"I know she gives you a hard time and I don't condone many of her actions but she is still my little sister you know? A lot of it is an effort to stay cool. She hasn't quite figured out that you don't need to be cruel to be so," Peeta adds.

I ponder his words for a moment. It's strange hearing him talk about Glimmer in this way. She has been a topic we have avoided so far. I have just had too much shit from her to ever be sympathetic towards her. I'll just have to trust Peeta that she has some redeeming qualities.

* * *

A little while later one of The Tributes songs starts playing on the radio. Peeta, who has started to sweep the floor, begins to sing quietly along. However after he has only sung a few lines I find myself having to stifle a giggle. Peeta hears me and looks at me with a confused grin.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing. It's just you're a really bad singer." I reply with a grin.

Peeta pretends to look shocked and clutches a hand to his chest.

"So you are not below insulting the boss?" he teases.

"Have you ever heard of a key? It's what some people sing in," I reply raising my eyebrows at him.

Peeta returns my stare and crosses his arms over his chest. I notice how the material of his polo shirt strains around his biceps as he does so.

"Let's see if you can do better," he challenges.

I narrow my eyes at him. I match his stare.

"Fine," I say accepting his challenge.

I wait for an appropriate point in the song before I join in with the soft melody. The lyrics come tumbling out of my lips naturally. Singing is something that I have always been good at and enjoyed. I used to love singing old folk tunes with my dad on one of our many camping trips. Recently I have sang nursery rhymes more than anything else, it is one of the easiest ways to calm Sage down, but is hasn't dented my enjoyment any less.

I close my eyes as I lose myself in the song. Maybe I should feel self-conscious that I am standing in front of Peeta singing but it doesn't bother me. Music and singing has always been an escape for me.

I open my eyes once the song has finished to find Peeta staring at me transfixed. I suddenly become self-conscious under his gaze and I cross my arms across my chest protectively as I begin to shift about uncomfortably on my feet.

"So I may not be the best singer in the world but it should have sounded something a bit like that," I say awkwardly as I keep my eyes trained on the ground.

My words seem to break Peeta out of whatever trance he is in.

"Oh no, Katniss! That was amazing! I swear all the birds outside just stopped to listen to you sing," Peeta exclaims.

I blush a little at his words. That is a bit of an exaggeration.

"A million times better than me any way," Peeta adds.

I look up to meet his eyes and see that he isn't making fun of me and genuinely liked the sound of my voice. I smile gratefully at him, a small blush on my cheeks, before picking up his broom and finish the sweeping myself. It's seems I am not immune from his charms.

* * *

At the end of the day I pull on my coat and gather up my things. I no longer rush out at the end of the day. I am getting better at leaving Sage. Instead I linger talking to Peeta.

"So you still coming to the staff party tonight? I've invited some friends from high school too. It should be a good night," Peeta asks as he sorts some papers on his desk.

I groan. I don't want to go to this party tonight.

The Mellark's are throwing a big party for all their employees across the 4 bakeries they own in the city. The Mellark's pay for everything and I have heard that most people end up almost paralytic at the end of the night. This would have been right up my street a year ago but since Sage was born parties like that have lost their appeal. I would rather spend the night in playing with Sage.

And then there is Mrs Mellark. She has already made it clear that she does not like me working here. She spent over an hour in Peeta's office my first week detailing all the reasons why it is a bad idea hiring me. She is a snob and has never had to interact with people from my side of the city. She has made no attempt to hide her hatred for the Seam and all its inhabitants. Bonnie has told me that she has increased the number of visits to our branch since I have started working here. I am certain it is to check up on me and make sure I am not stealing. I know she is just looking for an excuse to fire me. I am determined I won't give her the satisfaction to do so.

"I don't know," I say. "I might just stay in and play with bubbles with Sage."

I see Peeta's face drop at my words.

"You have to come. If you do, you might get to see my awesome dance moves." he propositions wriggling his eyebrows.

I can't help it, I grin. Peeta just always knows what to say to make me smile. He is giving me his puppy dog eyes and I can feel my resolve weakening. Mom has been encouraging me to go to this party as well. She says I need to get used to spending time away Sage and to stop feeling guilty about enjoying myself without her. An evening with Peeta may not be a bad way to do that.

"I'll come," I sigh and Peeta's face immediately breaks into a huge grin.

"Awesome! I'll get you your first drink," he says.

I smile and nod at him before saying goodbye and catching the bus back home.

The first thing I do is go through to Sage to check she is okay. I think she is close to teething and has become fussier lately. I find her in her chair happily chewing on a teething ring.

"Mommy's home," I say to her, kissing the top of her head. "Did you have a good day?"

Sage gurgles at me and bangs her toy on the side of the chair. I smile at her again and smooth the hair down on the top of her head.

"How was she today?" I ask turning to Mom. I'm concerned that the teething will cause her a lot of discomfort.

"She was fine. Just a lot of drool but that's to be expected from a baby who about to start teething," Mom replies.

I nod my head in understanding but still don't like the thought of my baby being in any type of discomfort.

It is still not easy for me to leave her 3 times a week to go to work. I miss her like crazy and the guilt of leaving her is constantly with me. But I am getting better at handling it. I no longer call Mom during every break I get and allow myself to enjoy some of the small moments there.

"Are you still going out tonight?" Mom asks hopefully.

I nod my head with my eyes still focused on Sage.

"Peeta persuaded me to go. I still don't think I will be able to enjoy myself though," I sigh.

"You seem to be getting on well with Peeta. I think it will be good for you to hang out with people your own age again. Don't feel guilty for sometimes to act your age," Mom says with a smile.

"Peeta's hardly my age. He's 4 years older than me and graduated from college. I don't really know why he wants to spend time with an eighteen-year-old single mom. There must be a lot cooler and more mature people he could hang out with," I state.

"He's just a nice guy. I knew his dad in high school and Wheaton was always the friendliest person on campus."

I am surprised that Mom knew Mr Mellark. I sometimes forget she didn't grow up in Seam like Dad. She must have come from the same side of town as Peeta's parents. It strange to think they might have been friends in high school. Their lives are so different now.

Sage begins banging her toy harder against the edge of her chair to get our attention. I turn away from Mom to look at my daughter.

"Sage we don't bang things like that," I scold taking the toy off her. She begins to whimper as I do and I have to pick her up to stop her from crying.

"Come on munchkin. Let's give you a bath before I have to go out," I say to her rocking her gently to calm her. It has the desired effect and I take her through for her bath. I still have a list of chores before I can begin getting ready myself.

* * *

I stand in front of the mirror tying and untying me hair, indecisive about what I want to do with it. This is the first party I have been to in almost a year. Nothing in my wardrobe seems appropriate now that I have a 4 month old daughter. I have eventually settled on a pair of dark skinny jeans and sparkly black tank top but I can't decide what to do with my hair. I haven't dressed up in so long and I feel like I have forgotten how to. This party is becoming more of a hassle as time wears on.

With a loud huff I tear out the band in my hair and decide to just leave it down. Why do I even care? It's not like there is anyone there I want to impress. I slide on a layer of lipstick and slap on a coating of mascara and eyeliner before deciding that is enough effort for tonight and begin to gather up my things into a small red clutch bag.

Mom is playing with Sage in the living room when I enter and she stops to look at me as I do so.

"You look nice," she says.

I just nod my head at her compliment and bend down to say goodbye to Sage.

"Mommy will miss you," I say stroking her hair. "I'll be back later okay. I won't be gone long."

I kiss the top of her head and then stand up and say goodbye to my mom before making my way to the door to leave. I blow Sage a kiss at the door before I go.

I have to take the bus to the Mellark's large detached house on the edge of the town. The long bus journey does not help my nerves. I don't want to have to see Mrs Mellark and don't really want to spend time around lots of people from the merchant side of town. I begin debating how long I can stay before it is acceptable to leave.

I can hear the music muted softly by the walls as I approach the house. There is a sign on the front door telling guests to come straight through to the yard out back. I make my way gingerly round, a little intimidated by the wealth the Mellark's have. The house is huge with brightly white painted shutters and impressive old stone brick work. The yard is no less expensive, vibrant with lots of different colours and polished looking sculptures.

I scan the crowd hoping to find Peeta or someone else I recognise but the place is already full of activity which makes it harder to spot people. However I don't have to search too long as Peeta catches my eye and waves me over. I take a sigh of relief and go over to join him by an elaborate water fountain.

He smiles brightly as I come over and greets me enthusiastically.

"Almost thought you had stood me up," he says. "Sage okay with your Mom?"

I nod my head.

"I think she prefers her to me. I feel like I see her less," I reply.

Peeta smiles at my sympathetically and gives my arm a little squeeze. I jump a little from the shock of his warm touch.

"Well I promised you a drink," he says after a moment, my eyes glued to the spot where he just touched me. "These are my friends from high school. Thresh, Delly and Madge. We are all coming to terms to living back here after 4 years away. We're using alcohol to help us get through it. Everyone this is Katniss."

I study the other people around me. Peeta had told me he had invited friends from school but I wasn't prepared to how inadequate they would make me feel. They have all been to college and away from home. They are proper adults now. I feel like a failure next to them.

"What do you want?" Peeta asks.

"Just a cranberry juice," I reply.

"You'll be the one carrying us home then," Peeta jokes before dashing off to collect my drink.

I stare at the people he has left me with, not knowing what to say. They smile at me in greeting but an awkward silence falls over us as no one knows how to start a conversation without Peeta.

Thresh is a tall dark skinned man with closely cropped black hair and muscles a professional wrestler would be proud of. His sear size should be enough to intimidate me but there is a gentleness in his eyes that makes me warm to him.

The other two people are both girls with blonde hair and blue eyes. I recognise Madge as the Mayor's daughter. She has her sleek blonde hair pulled up into an elaborate knot and wears a proper looking blouse, but her leather trousers hint at a slightly rebellious side. Delly on the other hand is slightly curvier and the definition of the girl next door, with blond ringlets and pastel coloured dress.

I look at them awkwardly and pray for Peeta to come back quickly with the drinks. Thankfully he is only gone a couple of minutes and I try to relax now that he is back to ease the tension. Thresh takes a sip of the beer Peeta has just brought him before directing a question at me.

"So you are the girl that Peeta can't stop talking about with the awesome taste in music," he says.

I am a bit taken aback by his comment. Peeta talks about me? A lot?

"Yeah I guess," I reply.

"I've never known someone who knows so many different bands. It's definitely an education working with Katniss."

"Well I'm just glad we have found another person to help convince Delly that Gloss Diamond is not the ultimate word in music," Madge cuts in.

"It's the blue eyes," Delly says dreamily.

All her other friends shake their head at her in frustration at her obvious love for the corny teenage solo artist.

"Well I think Peeta proves that blue eyes don't make you a good singer," I reply feeling a bit bolder.

Thresh raises his eyebrows with impressed surprise at my comment and both Delly and Madge fall about giggling.

"Hey! I never claimed to be the next John Lennon!" Peeta exclaims but I can see the grin hiding behind his eyes.

My mouth tugs upwards into a smile as I join his friends in laughter. I catch Peeta's eye and I see him give me a nod of approval. I am doing well with his friends.

After that I feel more at ease with his friends and enjoy the way they all tease and laugh with each other. You can tell they have been good friends for years and although they have all spent the last four years away from each other at college, now that they are all back they have picked right off where the left it. It reminds me of how Gale and I used to be before everything became strained. They make a real effort to include me in their conversation and fill me in on some of their inside jokes. I begin to feel like I can be one of them.

I find for the first time in a long time I can forget about missing Sage.

"I tell you man, it sucks living at home. I'm so used to doing whatever I want when I want to. Now I'm back on my mom's schedule," Thresh complains.

Now they are all back from college, both he and Delly are back living with their parents while they figure out what they want to do with their life and get a job. Peeta and Madge are the only ones with "proper" jobs as Peeta obviously helps running the bakeries and Madge works for a finance company in the city's business district.

"Well hurry up and figure out what you want to do with your life. Then you can have enough money to move out. You can finally live with me liked we talked about in freshman year of high school! Halo nights 3 times a week!" Peeta exclaims.

"Easy for you to say," Delly says. "You have known you have wanted to work in the bakeries since you could toddle. You always served the best plastic bread at your tea parties."

I smile as I imagine a little Peeta playing tea party in his toy kitchen. I picture him taking it very seriously and insisting the tea is poured before anyone can eat the toy cake.

Listening to Delly and Thresh doesn't make me feel quite so bad about my own life. I may have few qualifications and no idea what I want to do with life, but it seems having a college degree doesn't help you discover that either. It's nice to know I am not the only one still living at home with no clue where their life is going.

The group carry on talking about different job prospects for both Delly and Thresh when Peeta suddenly spots someone over Thresh's shoulder and goes pale.

"What the hell?" he asks clearly confused.

The rest of his friends turn to look at who he is staring at and I see Delly make a silent "oh" when she spots the tall blonde girl with green eyes standing by the gate. The girl catches sight of Peeta and smiles broadly at him before making her way over.

Peeta shakes his head at her as she approaches.

"Cash…what are you doing here?" he asks clearly surprised.

"You're Mom invited me down. I've missed you," the girl says placing a hand on Peeta's forearm.

Peeta's eyes cloud over a little at the mention of his mom but my eyes are fixed on the place where this girl is touching him. I don't know why but the sight makes me uneasy and I decide I don't like her.

"Let's go somewhere quieter," Peeta mutters tugging her hand away and dragging her round to the side of the house.

I can feel all his friends eyes following him go.

"What the fuck?" Madge declares.

"Who is that?" I ask extremely curious to know.

"Cashmere. Peeta's ex. They dated all through college but he broke up with her shortly after they graduated. Seems his mom can't quite let go," Thresh explains.

I get an unexpected sinking feeling in my chest.

"I can't believe she would pull something like this!" Delly adds.

The rest of them all nod in agreement and begin a discussion about how controlling Peeta's mom is. I zone out most of the conversation as I keep an eye on Peeta and the girl at the side of the house. Cashmere? What type of name is that? It's a fabric. Naming a child that should be illegal. I really can't warm to her.

I see Peeta end his conversation with her and she looks down in disappointment. I feel relieved, but instead of coming back over to us he storms over to his mom and whispers angrily in her ear. His mom smiles politely and excuses herself from her friends so that she and Peeta can talk in private.

I am so focused on Peeta and his mom angrily discussing Cashmere that I miss Delly asking me a question.

"Sorry," I say coming back to the present. "What did you say?"

"I was just asking about you daughter. Sage is her name, right?" Delly asks.

I am a bit taken a back that she know Sage's name. How much does Peeta say about me when I am not around?

"Yeah she's four months old," I reply.

I don't let myself dwell on Peeta and his mother any longer. It's none of my business. I can talk about Sage. I focus on that.

At times it feels like she is all I can talk about. She is so ingrained in my life now. I sometimes worry that I bore Peeta with all my stories about her. But his friends seem genuinely interested in her and I eagerly take the opportunity to talk about her and distract myself from what Peeta may be saying.

"Oh how cute!" Delly squeals. "My brother and his wife just had a baby. I think they are learning how to function without sleep!"

"It becomes a skill," I reply with a smile. "Along with multitasking."

Delly nods her head and begins asking me lots of question about Sage and what she can do so far. Thresh and Madge even pop in a question every now and again. I like how I can talk to them without their judgement or pity. Just like Peeta they are genuinely interested in Sage. Delly even gives me her number stating that I have to bring Sage and meet her for coffee. I take the number gratefully and for the first time in months feel like I may have made some friends.

Eventually all the cranberry juice settles in my bladder and I have to go and relieve myself. I tell Peeta's friends that I will back in a minute before I go off on my search for the bathroom. They are not too hard to locate and I am able to rejoin the party quickly. However on my way out I trip over a forlorn Peeta who sits crouched against the wall.

"Oww," I say as I stub my toe. Peeta looks up at me as I collapse on the ground next to him and rub the pain in my big toe.

"Sorry. Probably not the best place to wallow," Peeta says disheartened.

I am not used to seeing Peeta this way, solemn and down beat. It doesn't suit him.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

He lifts his head to look over at me.

"Just my mother. She thinks she knows what is best for me," he says wearily.

"She invited your ex-girlfriend huh," I state.

Peeta bobs his head.

"I knew she hated it when I broke up with her. I think Mom was in love with Cashmere more than I was. She had the right background, her family's full of lawyers in New York, she is athletic and smart and beautiful. My mom's ideal mate for me. She even gave me my grandmother's ring to give to her on graduation," he sighs.

I am a little shocked that Mrs Mellark is so pushy towards her son. I suddenly realise Peeta has pressures in his life that I will never quite understand.

"Why did you break up with her?" I ask. I know I shouldn't ask. It's too personal and I don't know him that well but I discover I have to know.

"I just realised that I didn't love her enough to ask her to move back here with me. I mean I did love her in a way, but everything about our relationship had become too comfortable and safe. I just couldn't do it anymore."

I nod my head trying to understand.

"I don't want to settle for comfortable. I want someone who takes my breath away whenever I see her, that when I kiss her it makes my toes curl," he says passionately before his blue eyes lock onto mine.

I am suddenly frozen to the spot as he continues to stare at me intently. Goosebumps appear on my arms. All I know is I don't want him to look away.

However he blinks and shakes his head as if to get rid of an unwanted thought.

"Maybe Delly has made me watch too many romantic comedies. I guess it rarely happens like that in real life," he sighs.

"I don't think it's wrong for wanting that. My parents loved each other in that way," I reply.

I realise how true this is. My dad used to always light up whenever Mom entered the room. It was the reason why Mom was such a mess after he died.

Peeta smiles gratefully.

"What about you? What's your big romantic fantasy?" he asks.

I turn away from him and lean my head back against the wall.

"It doesn't matter. Dating is off my agenda for the next 18 years," I state.

Peeta lets out a small laugh.

"Well one day it will be back on and you'll get a chance for your Prince Charming" he says before picking himself up off the ground and offering a hand to help me up.

"Come on let's go back outside. I think that's enough pity for one evening," he says.

I smile as he helps haul me up and follow him back outside.

I don't dare tell him what my real romantic fantasy is. I feel like I am not allowed to have it. Everyone around me tells I am stupid for wanting it. I keep it to myself in an attempt to keep away my disappointment of not getting it.

As we draw nearer the party we hear Mrs Mellark's loud voice above all the others.

"I've been telling him to fire that bit of Seam trash for weeks now. I mean how can you trust a girl like that?" she squawks.

Peeta stops abruptly at her words and I bump into his back as a result. We stand hidden from view by the door as we listen to exactly what Mrs Mellark has to say about me.

"You know what happened when Rooba hired a girl from the Seam? She cleaned them out after 3 weeks of working there. They are all the same from there. Desperate for cash so they can spend it on drink and drugs. I've told Peeta under no circumstances is she to be left alone on the shop floor," Mrs Mellark continues.

I feel rage build up inside me at her words. How dare she assume I would do that? I am only trying my hardest to provide for my daughter. I see Peeta clench his fist in anger as he listens.

"And you just know that little brat of hers is going to end up the same way. I've heard about her antics. Venia spotted her breaking into the drugs warehouse and getting high last summer. I bet she doesn't even know who the father of her own child is. Glimmer told me what a whore she is, seducing young Cato Evans when he had my darling daughter. Social services should really be involved. She's clearly unfit to be a mother."

I can feel the tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. I now know where Glimmer gets all he judgemental opinions from. I hate that Mrs Mellark has made me upset. She's not worth it. But it's true I was irresponsible and reckless before I had Sage. I'm trying so hard to not be like that now. I am trying to be a good mother to Sage. One that she deserves. Her words just confirm my worse fear; that I am not good enough to look after my own daughter.

She doesn't get to say any more because Peeta has stormed away from me to confront her.

"You have no right to say those things about Katniss Mom!" Peeta yells.

A small group of the party turn round to watch the confrontation. I just try and hide behind the door.

"It's bad enough from Glimmer but you are old enough to know better. Katniss is the hardest working employee I have at the bakeries. She is always on time and the customers love her. I would trust her with my life let alone the cash from the register. I don't know how you can berate her for trying her hardest to provide for her daughter. She loves Sage and she is doing an amazing job of raising her on her own. I am in no doubt that she is the best person to do so," Peeta defends me.

I can feel the tears again. I can't believe he has stuck up for me like that. At least I know there is one person who thinks I am doing a good job with Sage.

"Don't come round the bakery until you can apologise to Katniss," Peeta says with a firm voice I didn't know he possessed.

His mom just stares back at him, unforgiving, so Peeta turns on his heels, grabs my hand and pulls me away from the party.

"I'll take you home," he says quite softly for a man with so much anger in his eyes.

I can only nod my head hopelessly as I let him drag me to his car.

* * *

We drive in silence on the ride over. I want to thank him for sticking up for me and let him know that his support means a lot but the words stick in my throat. I feel like something has changed between us tonight but I'm not quite sure what it is.

Peeta pulls up outside my house and cuts the engine.

"I feel like I am constantly apologising for my family," he says turning to face me. "Mom was wrong to say those things about you. You have to know I don't believe anything she says. I don't think you would ever steal from us. And you are a great mom to Sage."

"I appreciate that," I reply giving him a small smile.

A silence falls in the car again and I look down at my hands trying to figure out how I will say goodbye.

"I'm glad you came tonight," Peeta says. I snap my head back up to look at him. "It was nice hanging out with you away from work. And I think you have charmed all my friends. I think they want to trade me in for you."

I look back down at my hands with a small smile before lifting my head back up to meet his gaze.

"I'm glad I came too," I reply simply.

Peeta gives me another smile and it seems like we stare at each other for an eternity before I flick my gaze to the house behind him and know I have to get back inside to my daughter.

"Thanks for the ride," I say as I step out the car.

"Anytime. Goodnight Katniss," Peeta replies.

I give him one last smile in thanks before turning and heading up the path to the house. Peeta waits in the car until I have reached my door and I turn round to wave at him. He smiles and returns my wave before starting the engine and driving off.

I let out a sigh as I watch him go before turning the key in the lock and stepping into the house. I hang my coat and bag up before making my way to my bedroom to check on Sage. I wearily push open the door where I am suddenly stopped by the sound of a man's voice.

"Hey Katniss," Thom says.

* * *

**A/N: I know most people will not be thrilled with Thom coming back but I have brought him back for a reason. The consequences of his return will be dealt with next chapter. Have faith in the story.**

**Thanks again to everyone who continues to support the story.**


	6. Chapter 6: September

Chapter 6

_September_

"What are you doing here?" I ask Thom shocked.

I'm so confused. Sage sleeps peacefully in the corner completely oblivious to her parents staring contest. Part of me has been longing for Thom to come back for weeks now. But is he really here to apologise and become part of our family?

He gets off the bed and moves towards me.

"I miss you," he says tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "And Sage. I've been an idiot for how I have treated you. I'm sorry. I want you back."

I stand looking up at him, my heart racing. Is he being serious? I have harboured this hope that he would come back and be the father that Sage deserves. Can this be real?

"What's brought you this on?" I ask warily.

My heart hammers in my chest as I wait for his answer as I try not to get my hopes up. He smiles at me and takes my head in his hands, his grey eyes staring deeply into mine.

"It's always been you Katniss. We fight but we always end up back together," he says.

"We can't do that anymore. It's not fair on Sage," I reply.

"I don't want to do it again," he says firmly shifting his body closer to mine. "I love you Katniss. You are the only girl for me. Please give me another chance."

I continue to stare into his eyes, searching for the sincerity behind his words. I want to believe him. This has been my fantasy ever since he left. But I still have Sage to think about.

"You can't just come back and expect me to fall straight back in your arms. You let both Sage and I down badly. It can't be like it was before," I say.

"I'll do anything. I'll even get a job. I just want you back," Thom replies earnestly.

My heart flutters at his words. He wants to change. He wants us to be a family. I nuzzle my nose into the palm of his hand.

"I love you too," I reply. "I want us to be a family. But I can't take you back yet. You need to show me you can take responsibility for Sage"

Thom nods his head in understanding and strokes his thumb across my cheek.

"I'll get you back. It's always been about you and me," he says before bending down and placing a soft kiss on my lips.

The kiss is familiar and I get a small tingle from not having been kissed in so long. This whole scenario seems surreal. I don't quite know what to make about it all. Thom smiles at me before looking over my shoulder to look at Sage

"Does she sleep though the night yet?" Thom asks.

I twist my head round so that I can look at our daughter.

"She sleeps for about 4 or 5 hours now," I reply proudly.

Thom grins.

"She's gotten so big," he states in awe.

That's because you've not seen her in 2 months I think. But I don't voice my thoughts. He's just come back. I don't want to spoil things by bringing up the past.

"Yeah and she's teething now. She is becoming more and more her own little person," I say with a smile.

Thom smiles and turns to look at me.

"I'll set up the couch for you," I suggest.

Thom nods his head, places a kiss on Sage's head and follows me out to the living room. I pull out some sheets and pillows for him to sleep on and watch him as he settles down to go to sleep. We say our goodnights and I go back through to burrow down in my own bed. My head buzzes with the possibilities of getting my family back

* * *

Sage wakes me up in the early hours of the morning. I groan as I am pulled out of my slumber. Another day begins. However I am pleasantly surprised when Thom comes through and picks up Sage.

"Good morning," he coos to Sage as he picks her up and cradles her to his chest. "What do you need this morning?"

Sage stops whimpering but eyes Thom curiously. With him not being around he is almost a stranger to her. It breaks my heart a little that she doesn't recognise him. I hope now she can finally get to know him.

I get up and walk over so I stand behind him. I smile sweetly at my daughter and she responds with a smile for me. I make a silly face that makes her giggle.

"She needs changing," I tell Thom, placing a hand on his shoulder. Thom twists round to look at me.

"Okay. Where's the stuff?" he asks.

I grin stupidly at his question. It looks like he really is serious about changing.

"Just under here," I say gesturing to beneath the changing table.

Thom nods his head before carefully placing Sage on the table and getting out the changing stuff. He begins changing Sage while giving a running commentary of what he is doing. I smile as I watch him with her.

This is good.

After Sage is changed and fed we take her through to the living room so she can play with some of her toys. Mom is sitting drinking a cup of coffee and reading a book. She eyes Thom warily as he comes through carrying Sage.

"Good morning Mrs Everdeen," Thom says cheerily.

Mom gives him a cold stare.

"So you're back," Mom states tersely.

"Yep," Thom says with a grin. "I want to make things work this time."

Mom gives him a terse nod before getting up off the chair.

"Katniss, can I have a word please?" she asks.

I reluctantly get up, giving Sage a kiss before following Mom through to the kitchen. I don't think I am going to like what she has to say.

Mom stands tense by the kitchen sink as I enter and watches me carefully as I do so.

"So you just took him back?" Mom accuses.

"I haven't taken him back yet. He's got to show me he has changed. But he apologised and said that he is going to get a job," I say in defence of him.

Mom lets out a disbelieving snort and shakes her head at me.

"I'll believe that when I see it," she says.

I get angry now. She's not even going to give him a chance to prove he can change. I have to believe him. She should trust me enough to trust my judgement.

"He's really serious about it this time. He's been great with Sage this morning!" I say raising my voice.

"One morning isn't enough to convince me Katniss. He has treated you and Sage appallingly since Sage has been born. He has shown you no respect. A guy like that is never going to change. You need to get your head around the fact he does not want to play happy families."

"You're wrong," I state coldly. "I believe he has changed. And in future if you don't have anything nice to say about Thom, don't say it."

Mom looks at me with disappointment and I hate it. She has been my biggest supporter since Sage was born. I hate to think I have let her down.

I turn on my heels and storm out the room. I don't want to hear her judgements. I want her to trust me. If I can give Thom a second chance, so can she.

I return to find Thom waving one of Sage's multi-coloured toys. Sage eyes follow the toy around as he flies it above the head. I can see that doing this is not easy for him, he is not a natural baby person, but I appreciate that he is trying so hard. I squat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder as I smile at Sage.

"Everything okay?" Thom asks.

"Just Mom being protective," I reply. I don't want him to know of Mom's disapproval.

He nods his head in understanding as he continues to fly the toy in the air.

"We should do something today. The 3 of us," he suggests.

I smile. That sounds perfect.

"We should go to the park. It won't be too long before it's too cold to go there," he says.

"That sounds perfect," I say with a smile.

* * *

We arrive at the park and Thom sets out the worn plaid rug that my family owns. I pick Sage out from her stroller and lay her down on her tummy on the rug. She settles for a moment before straining her neck up and lifting her head so it looks like she is doing a mini sit up. She learned to do this a few days ago and it is her favourite thing to show off at the moment. She looks up at me with a proud smile.

"Look at you baby!" I exclaim. "You are getting so good at that!"

I bend down to kiss her on the nose and Sage lets out her childish giggle as I do so. Thom watches us with a smile.

"She's really learned how to do a lot," he states.

I nod my head while still pulling silly faces for Sage. Sage continues to laugh and giggle. Thom then hesitantly bends down and scoops Sage up in her arms.

"My little girl is getting so clever!" he exclaims raising her above his head.

Sage giggles with enjoyment as he hoists her into the air. She kicks her feet out as he dangles her high in the air and he brings her down so he can blow raspberries on her tummy. Sage squeals as he continues to tickle and fly her about the air.

I sit and watch them amazed. This is exactly how I always wanted him to be with her. I want him to play with her like this and spoil her rotten. Sage deserves a father who loves her so completely.

Eventually all the excitement gets too much for Sage and she spits up a little onto her t-shirt.

"Eurgh! Someone's made a mess. Better clean you up so you look good for Mommy," Thom says.

I make a face at Sage before handing Thom a wipe so that he can clean our daughter's face.

"She's going to demand for you to always do that if you keep that up. She loves being bounced in the air," I say stroking her hair.

"That's fine by me," Thom replies holding her in his lap "She can be my weight training for the day."

I laugh before leaning against Thom's shoulder and enjoying spending the time like this as a family.

The day at the park is close to perfect. Thom really makes an effort to show me that he has changed. He tickles, coos and plays with Sage. He even helps with changing her and cleaning her up. He and I have our first conservation without any arguments in months. It shows me this can work.

Late on in the day, Sage is sleeping soundly in her stroller and Thom and I lay on the rug, my head over his heart and him playing with my hair.

"Today was perfect," I sigh feeling the most content I have in months.

"You're so beautiful. I love you and that's never going to change," he replies still stroking my hair.

"We can't fuck this up," I say. "No more silly arguments or nagging each other. This has to work for Sage."

"Does that mean you forgive me?" he replies with a smile.

I return the smile and reach up to meet his lips in a sweet kiss. This whole day has reminded me what it was like when we were together and not arguing. How content he can make me feel. He's shown me today that he is serious about changing. I owe it to Sage to give him another shot.

For the first time in a long time I am given hope that everything is going to be okay.

* * *

That night Thom and I enjoy bathing Sage and blowing lots of bubbles in her face. Sage loves the bubbles even more than the water and her childish laugh is the only thing that can be heard as she swats at the bubbles with her tiny hands. Thom and I chuckle at her clear enjoyment of something so simple.

Mom is at work by the time we get back so after we have put Sage to bed and kissed her goodnight, we curl up together on the couch and watch some TV movie that is on cable. However not long into the movie I feel Thom's hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. His touch makes my skin tingle and I move in closer to him. He notices my shift in body weight and turns round to look at me with a sultry grin.

His eyes have a mischievous sparkle and I get a flashback to before all this happened and all we had to care about was the next party we had to go to. Our lips crash together in eager excitement. His hands tangle in my hair and I push my body flush against his own. I can already feel his arousal for me against my thigh.

It has been so long since I have had any intimate contact like this. Not since well before Sage was born. I suddenly realise how much I crave it. I want to be as close as possible to him. I forget about our daughter in the next room. I just need him right now.

The kisses develop quickly and we are soon ripping off each other's clothes. Mom put me on the contraceptive pill shortly after Sage was born so we don't have to worry about a repeat mistake. We come together in a messy tangle of limbs and sweat. The pace we set is frantic as we both desperately search for the our releases. We come seconds apart leaving us both breathless and panting.

We fall asleep for a little while before rising and making our way back through to my bedroom. I snuggle into him as we fall asleep once again. Today has been the best day.

* * *

The next morning I have to get up early for work and Thom looks at me strangely as I pull on my Mellark's bakery polo shirt.

"What are you doing?" he asks watching me from the bed.

"I have to go to work. You can look after Sage today if you want," I reply.

Thom scrunches up his nose.

"You got a job?" he asks surprised.

"I had too. Baby things aren't cheap," I say trying to not accuse him of anything.

"So you are working at Mellark's bakery? But you hate the Mellarks."

"I hate Glimmer. But Peeta is really nice. He always asks about Sage and he really helped me out giving me this job."

"Peeta? He was that golden boy, football star asshole that everyone fucking worshipped? It must be tiring being so fucking perfect the entire time."

"Don't speak like that around Sage," I say angry at his insult of Peeta. "And Peeta is just a good guy. Don't hate him for that."

I am surprised at how much his comment about Peeta irks me. I guess it is just strange to hear anyone say anything bad about Peeta. He is just such a genuine nice guy.

"Whatever. I'll look after Sage today," Thom replies.

I smile at him and bend down to give him a kiss. I am so happy that he is continuing to show willingness to help out with Sage. I turn to my daughter and pick her up, giving her big wet kiss on the mouth.

"You want to spend the whole day with Daddy?" I say to her. She gurgles. "Don't have too much fun without me. Mommy is going to miss you."

Sage kicks her feet about and I give her another wet kiss before turning round and passing her to her father.

"I get off at 5. I'll be home straight after that," I say to Thom while stroking Sage's hair.

Thom nods in response.

"Okay. I'll see you both later. I love you," I say bending down to give both Thom and Sage a kiss.

I leave soon after and make my journey to work.

I walk into the bakery with a huge grin on my face. On the bus journey here all I could think about is how perfect yesterday and this morning have been. I know it is early days, but Thom really seems to have changed. I loved seeing him with Sage yesterday and for the first time it feels like we are a proper family. Peeta notices my good mood as soon as I enter.

"Someone's in a good mood," he says. "Has someone discovered the recipe for calorie free cheese buns?"

I smirk a little at his joke. It has become a bit of an inside joke at work about how much I love cheese buns. I am always first to claim the leftover ones and often consume them at record pace. The rest of my work colleagues tease me relentlessly about this fact.

"Nope," I reply. "But Thom came back the night of the party."

Peeta's eyes widen in cautious surprise.

"Why did he come back?" he asks.

"He apologised for what he had done and said he misses me. He wants another chance," I say not entirely happy with Peeta's tone. I can tell that he, like my mom, doesn't approve of Thom being back.

"So you are back together?" he questions but I can hear the judgement in his voice.

This makes me upset. I thought Peeta was my friend. Shouldn't he be happy for me?

"Don't you start as well. I have already had a lecture from my mom. But I believe Thom is being serious. I want to give him a second chance," I reply.

"Hey, look, if he really is serious about you and Sage that's great Katniss," Peeta says holding his hands up in defence. However I can hear the but coming at the end of this sentence.

"But…"

Ah, there it is.

"I just think you should be careful. He hurt you and Sage badly last time. He has to earn your trust again," Peeta states.

I stand looking at Peeta. The disapproval has gone and I can only see the concern he has for me. What he says makes sense. Thom does have to earn my trust again. Helping with Sage these last couple of days is doing that. He has to continue to do other things to regain my trust fully.

"Thanks for your concern but I really think it's going to be different this time. He's looking after Sage today, something he has never offered to do before," I reply.

Peeta nods his head but I can still see he has his concerns.

"That's good then. I hope he keeps it up," he says.

I smile at him in thanks. I now realise he is just trying to be a good friend. However things remain a little awkward between us for the rest of the day.

* * *

The shift goes slowly as I am desperate to get back home to be with my daughter and boyfriend. I want to spend as much time as possible with them. But I get a pleasant surprise when Thom walks though the bakery door with Sage 10 minutes before the end of my shift.

"What are you two doing here?" I ask in surprise as I go over to them both and take Sage off Thom to give her a big kiss.

"Sage and I thought we'd pick you up from work. Save you taking the bus," Thom replies with a smile.

I smile back at him and stand on my toes to give him a chaste kiss while still holding Sage in my arms. She holds a teething ring and chews on it happily as I begin to bounce her in my arms.

Peeta comes through to get an order when he spots Thom and Sage in the shop. He puts on a warm smile and walks round to meet them.

"Hey, you must be Thom. I'm Peeta," he says sticking out his hand for Thom to shake. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Thom takes Peeta's hand in a vice like grip and I see Peeta wince a little as a result.

"Likewise," Thom replies. "How's reality for the former golden boy of Panem High School?"

"Simpler," Peeta answers with a small smile.

Both men look at each other with intensity. Thom isn't even trying to hide his dislike towards Peeta. I become embarrassed about the way he is acting.

I then realise that Thom coming here might not be the sweet gesture I first thought. He's marking his territory.

For some reason he has gotten it in his head that he needs to be jealous of Peeta. He came here to show Peeta that I am his. That I always have been.

Peeta breaks the stare first and then lets his eyes fall onto Sage. His face breaks into a silly grin as he bends down so he can look Sage in the eye.

"And how's Sage doing?" he coos tickling her chin. Sage lets out her childish giggle revealing her gummy mouth to him. "Oh my! Is that your first tooth coming in?"

Sage continues to giggle and smile at Peeta as he tickles her and pulls silly faces.

Sage loves Peeta.

On the few occasions Mom has brought her to the bakery to visit, Peeta has always made a big effort to pick her up and make her laugh. She always seems content when she is in his arms.

Thom watches Peeta interact with her with a hard look. He is clearly not happy about the way Peeta is playing with his daughter. I try to not let it bother me. Thom has to know Peeta is not a threat. He's my friend. Nothing more.

"Come on Katniss, your shift is over. Let's go home," Thom says gruffly.

Peeta looks up at his words and stops playing with Sage.

"You can go Katniss. Have a good evening," he says looking back at me.

I smile gratefully at him before gathering my things and following Thom outside to his truck. Thom doesn't say anything the entire journey home.

* * *

I don't bring up what happened at the bakery with Peeta. I know it would only end up in an argument and everything is too good for me to want to do that. So instead I show Thom how much he means to me in the bedroom. We even move Sage's crib to the spare room to give us some more privacy. I want him to know he is the only one for me.

The first week is great. Thom lives up to his promises and is really helpful with Sage and around the house. During that week I have the family I have always wanted. Sage really gets to know Thom and begins to respond to him in a positive way. Thom even looks after her while I am at work, leaving my mom free to do some of her own things. With Thom around to look after Sage during the day I suggest that I take more shifts at the bakery.

"Why would you want to do that?" Thom asks.

"So we can get more money. I want Sage to have the best in life," I reply calmly.

"Mellark better not be pressurising you into working longer hours," he states bitterly.

"Peeta would never do that. He has been very flexible since I have started working there."

Thom lets out a disbelieving huff.

"I just thought you would want to spend more time with me and Sage. Or do we not mean as much to you as Mellark? Are you fucking him behind our backs" he sneers.

I get an urge to hit him.

"Don't you dare say that. You know you and Sage are the most important people in my life," I reply angrily.

"Funny way of showing it," Thom states before getting off the chair and sulking off to our bedroom.

I ignore Thom's concerns and take the extra hours at the bakery. I still don't like spending time away from Sage but we could do with the money. In the long run it will be what is best for our family.

However things start to go downhill with Thom after I take on my additional shifts. He begins to help out less with Sage and some nights just point blank ignores me. We start to have little arguments again. He accuses Peeta of wanting me as his Seam whore. He doesn't bother looking for a job. I can feel my mom watching our relationship with a sad and knowing look.

One morning I wake up to get ready for work without him lying in the bed beside me. He had gone out the night before and obviously never came back home. I sigh with an annoyed huff. He better get in soon. I have work today and he needs to look after Sage. I get up and begin Sage's morning routine. Sage babbles happily as I change and feed her for the day but my mind is on what her father could have possibly got up to last night.

It gets close to the time when I really have to leave and he has still not appeared. I check my watch anxiously as I wait. I need to go but can't leave Sage here. Mom just got back from work and is dead to the world in her room. It is not fair to ask her to look after Sage today. I grab my phone and jab in Thom's number. The phone rings a couple of times before he answers.

"Hello," he says groggily down the phone. It's clear I have woken him up.

"Where the hell are you? You need to look after Sage today. I've got work," I reply angrily.

"Sorry can't do it today. Gale and I are going out of town for a part for my truck," he says.

"And it can't wait?" I demand.

"Don't shout at me. It's a one day only thing. I have to go."

"Whatever. It's good to see that you care so much about your daughter's wellbeing," I say and then abruptly end the call.

I let out a frustrated huff and Sage looks at me curiously.

"Looks like I'm going to have to stay home today munchkin," I sigh, getting up to call Peeta.

He answers almost immediately.

"Hey Katniss! How are you this lovely morning?" he asks cheerily.

"I'm sorry but I can't make it into work today. Thom was supposed to look after Sage today but he's decided there were more important things than his daughter," I say. "I can try and make it up to you another day."

"Don't be silly," Peeta says. "Why don't you bring Sage into work?"

"I can't do that," I reply.

"Sure you can. She can stay with me in my office. She'll be a lot more interesting than the accounts waiting for me."

"I don't know. I don't want to distract you from your work…," I say uncertainly while chewing my bottom lip.

"It's no problem honestly. I mostly pretend to do work anyway," Peeta tries to assure me.

"Okay," I concede. "We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Great! See you both soon!" Peeta says sounding genuinely excited.

We say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone so I can prepare Sage for her day at the bakery.

Sage and I push our way into the bakery an hour later and Peeta is out front waiting for us. He smiles brightly as we enter.

"Thank you so much for allowing this," I say as I follow Peeta through to his office with Sage. I place Sage down in her car seat on a space he has cleared on his desk.

"My pleasure. It's been a while since I've seen this cutie anyway," Peeta replies with a smile before bending down to wriggle Sage's nose.

"How you doing cupcake? Got any more teeth to show me?" he coos.

Sage opens her mouth in a smile to proudly show him her first tiny baby teeth growing at the front.

"Everything she needs is in this bag. Just come and get me if she gets really fussy," I tell him.

Peeta drags his eyes away from Sage to look at me.

"Will do," he replies with a smile.

We both stare at each other for a moment before I gather the courage to leave her with him and head back out to the store front.

The day isn't any easier with having Sage so close. If anything it makes it worse because I know she is in the next room but I can't be with her. It is the first time I have left her with anyone other than my family and it makes me a little anxious. In my head I know Peeta will be doing fine with her but it doesn't stop me worrying any less.

At the end of the day I go through to his office to collect her and finally spend some of my own time with her. I am slightly jealous Peeta got to spend the whole day with her. The door is slightly open as I walk up to it and I gently push it open to see Sage. When I do I see Peeta cooing over Sage in her car seat. He is playing with her toes and chanting a nursery rhyme.

"This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy went to town and this little piggy went squealing all the way home!" Peeta exclaims, wiggling a different one of her toes each time.

Sage squeals and giggles as Peeta tickles her feet. I stand back and watch them with a warm feeling in my chest. While Thom has to force himself to act like this with Sage it is completely natural for Peeta. He's just wired that way to be kind and caring towards children. I can't help but think what a great father he will be in the future.

"Having fun," I say with a smile as I walk into the room.

Peeta looks up at me with a grin.

"I told you she was more fun than the accounts," he replies.

I let out a small laugh.

"Did you have fun with Peeta?" I ask Sage bending down to give her a kiss. Sage kicks her hands and feet in response before reaching out for Peeta again.

"I think she may be in love with you," I say looking at Peeta with a grin.

"What can I say? I'm very loveable," he jokes.

I smile again but am suddenly caught in the intensity of his blue stare. I feel my heart skip a beat.

I cough to break the tension before turning back round to pick up Sage's car seat.

"Thanks again for letting me do this. You didn't have to," I say again.

"Anytime for my favourite employee," Peeta replies. For some reason I don't doubt he means it.

I thank him again before taking Sage out the bakery and back home. I try not to think about that look I shared with Peeta.

* * *

Thom begins spending more and more nights out and away from home. I am not impressed that on the few occasions he has looked after Sage he has had a hangover. The arguments get more frequent and he does less to help out with Sage. Mom still doesn't say anything but I can tell she is desperate for me to get rid of him.

I just can't.

In that one week I saw that he could be a good dad and boyfriend for me and Sage. And I still love him. He and I have been through a lot. I am terrified that if I end things now I will never see him again. I don't want that for Sage.

Peeta becomes my main source to vent out all my frustrations about Thom. I go into the bakery daily with a list of things that he has done, or hasn't done, and how this annoys me. I am surprised Peeta doesn't tell me to shut up. It must be boring listening to me complain all the time. I know I'm bored of it. But he is very patient with me, letting me vent out all my frustration and giving me helpful advice on how to handle it. He becomes a really good friend.

At the end of one particular shift I get a text message from Thom:

_Gone to take Beetee on a drive in the truck. Left Sage at the Hawthorns. You need to pick up some more diapers._

"Arggg!" I scream as I slam the phone down on the table.

"What is it?" Peeta asks concerned.

"Stupid Thom!" I rant. "All I asked him to do today was look after Sage and pick up some diapers. Apparently that was too onerous a task for him!"

Peeta looks at me sympathetically as I angrily type a reply to Thom.

_I don't ask you to do much. It's good to know your friends and your truck mean more than your daughter._

I send the message and angrily wait for the reply. My phone buzzes shortly after. I read it and immediately wished I hadn't.

_Shut the fuck up. I don't care what you think, you dirty whore. I don't want to spend lots of time around you and that fucking mistake._

The tears begin to prick at the corners of my eyes. I hate that he can talk about Sage and I in that way. He says he loves us, but you wouldn't say that about people you care about. He's acting just like he did the last time he left.

Peeta sees me upset and comes over to wrap an arm around my shoulder.

"What did he say?" he asks his voice laced with concern. He runs his hands up and down my arms to try and calm me down.

I show him the text and feel Peeta's arms tense around me after he has read it.

"You can't let him talk about Sage and you like that," he says in a stern tone I have only ever heard him use with his mother. "It's not good for you or Sage. You can't let her grow up in a house where she thinks it is acceptable for her dad to speak to her mother that way. She will grow up to think it is okay for all guys to treat her that way and I know you don't want that."

I nod my head sniffing back a tear. He is right. I would hate any guy who treated Sage the same way Thom treats me. I don't want her growing up in a household full of arguments and fighting. Even if that means she doesn't have a father as a result.

"It's just so hard. I've been with him since I was 14. We have so much history together. It's hard to let go," I sob.

Peeta nods his head in understanding before tilting my head so he can look me straight in the eye.

"I know it's hard. I know you want the happy family and everything, but some guys just aren't cut out for that. You have to do what is best for Sage," he says seriously.

I nod my head in agreement. I know he is right. I can't keep putting Sage and myself through this heart ache. She deserves more than that.

I thank Peeta and he offers to give me a lift home. He distracts me on the way over by telling some of the escapades he got up to with Delly and Thresh as a kid. All their adventures sound a bit over the top and dramatic but it helps take my mind off Thom for a little while.

Thom does come home that night and sulks through to my bedroom. I know what I have to do but my decision doesn't make it any easier. On all the previous occasions we broke up it was right in the middle of an argument. Neither of us knew we were going to end it when the argument started. Now for the first time I know this conversation will end with him leaving.

"We need to talk," I state as he sits down on the bed. Sage is peacefully sleeping in the next room.

Thom just nods his head.

"I can't do this anymore," I state. "I hate the way you speak to me and how you treat Sage."

"What have I ever done to hurt her?" Thom replies defensively.

"You are just not there for her. You leave her with neighbours so you can go out with friends. You look after her hung over. Not the qualities of a good parent."

"I'm a 20-year-old guy. I need to go out and party."

"That's the difference between you and me. I would never put my own needs ahead of Sage's. She's my number one priority and every decision I make is because of her."

Thom looks at me crossly now.

"I don't know what you want from me! I'm here now! Isn't that enough?" he shouts.

"No," I state. "I can't be your girlfriend with the way that you treat me. You can still see Sage if you want but we're over."

Thom looks at me shocked that I am actually ending things. He didn't think I was strong enough to do so.

"Fuck this shit," he says angrily. "Have fun doing this on your own."

With that he gets up and storms out. I wait until I hear his truck move away before I search for my phone and call the first person I can think of.

"Peeta, I broke up with Thom. I really need someone to talk to," I say the first tear rolling down my cheek.

Peeta tells me to give him 20 minutes.

15 minutes later there is a knock on the door and I am pleasantly surprised to find Peeta standing in the door way with a basket of cheese buns. I thought he was just in the middle of something and was going to call me back. But I am glad he came here in person.

The sight of him makes what I just did seem all the more real and I can't help the flow of tears that come pouring out. Peeta puts down the cheese buns and I step into his arms without thinking. He envelops me in a tight embrace and I let the tears soak his cotton t-shirt.

We have never had this type of physical contact before, just small touches here and there, but I can't deny how good it feels to be encased in his arms. The smell of cinnamon and dill is now so familiar and comforting. Here I feel safe. Here I feel like life can be good again.

* * *

**A/N: I hope people understand why Katniss took Thom back for a while. She wants that perfect family and is finding it hard to let go. Unfortunately many girls get sucked back into relationships that are not healthy. However it is good old Peeta who is there for her now. Next chapter will show how this has brought her closer to Peeta. Hope you continue to enjoy.**


	7. Chapter 7: November

**A/N: I am glad so many of you understood Katniss's decisions in the last chapter, even if was naive. Unfortunately many girls get themselves in that situation. Thankfully there is a lot less Thom drama now and we'll see some more Katniss and Peeta bonding. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 7

_November_

Peeta stands by my family's ridiculously small stove slowly stirring a steaming brown mixture. He's cooking for me again and the delicious smells of lamb, plum and ginger fill the whole room. Sage sits in her high chair and bangs her hands impatiently as she waits for me to resume feeding her. I had got slightly distracted by the way Peeta's back muscles moved beneath the tight fitting red t-shirt he wears. Peeta turns round to look at me with a grin.

"Don't think you are doing a very good job there. Sage has got more pureed plum on her face than in her mouth," he teases.

I scowl at him before jabbing the spoon into the tiny pot and feeding Sage a mouthful of plum. Sage eagerly gulps it down without adding any more muck to her face.

"See, I'm a pro," I state triumphantly.

Peeta chuckles. Sage turns at the sound and gives him a toothy grin. It may be true that her face is smeared pink from plum but as she smiles at Peeta I can't help but love the sight. She just looks so adorable all messy and giggly.

Peeta pulls a face at her before turning down the heat on the stove and getting the plates for our own dinner.

"Come on munchkin," I say to Sage. "You need to finish this so Mommy can taste another one of Peeta's mouth-watering creations."

"Ha!" Peeta blurts out. "Inhale more like. You scoff the food down so fast you don't have time to taste it! You are really not appreciating the whole Mellark cooking experience!"

I smile and shake my head as I feed Sage the last remaining spoonfuls of her dinner. I enjoy my food. What can I say?

Sage is just finishing her last mouthful as Peeta makes his way over to the table with our plates. He places them down and sits in the seat next to me. Sage stares at the piles of steaming meat drenched in the most exquisite looking gravy. The sweet aromas of ginger and cinnamon waft out. She stares in wonder at the sight. She may have only just got onto solid food but I can tell she is going to take after me when she grows up and be a strong lover of food.

"This isn't for you," I say pulling the plate towards me. "You're still too little. But if we're really good, Peeta might keep coming round to serve us culinary masterpieces!"

"Keep up with those comments and I will never leave!" Peeta exclaims.

I smile as I tuck into the first bite of the tender lamb. It falls apart in my mouth and I have to stop myself from audibly moaning my appreciation.

"I would hire you as my personal chef if I could afford it," I reply while shovelling another mouthful of the delicious stew in my mouth.

"Don't worry. I could never charge my 2 favourite girls for my amazing talent!" Peeta responds tickling Sage's chin.

Sage's giggles as I continue to tuck into my meal and Peeta goes back to sampling his own plateful.

This has become some sort of routine over the past 5 weeks. Since I kicked Thom out Peeta has made a habit of coming round a couple of nights a week, cooking for the 2 of us and entertaining Sage. We have a surprisingly large amount in common and as I no longer spend all my time moaning about Thom it's gone back to how it used to be. We have time to discuss the bands and movies we like and retell different adventures from our childhood. Our friendship has flourished as a result and a day doesn't go by where we don't text or call each other. I haven't had such a good friend since Gale. I've stopped feeling so alone.

I have even spent some more time with Peeta's friends. Delly all but demanded that Sage and I joined them for lunch one day and she spent the entire time fussing and cooing over Sage. Madge and Thresh are a lot easier to deal with, a lot less excitable, and I found I am still able to enjoy their company. They often invite me to things they are doing but I have to turn them down more times than I can go out.

On the whole I feel like I am beginning to make new friends and this causes me to feel somewhat normal. Sage is still my number one priority but I now take the occasional time out to do things for myself.

The three of us eat our meal in a companionable manner. Peeta and I discuss the latest Tributes song and let Sage taste a sample of one of our plums. Peeta and I both laugh as she scrunches her nose and quickly spits out the offending food. Clearly Peeta's plums are not up to baby food pureed standard.

Near the end of the meal an unpleasant smell overwhelms the sweet aromas of the stew and Peeta and I both scrunch our noses up in disgust.

"Is that you Little Miss Smelly Pants?" I tease tickling Sage's tummy.

Sage smiles up at me with her big grey eyes as if to say, yes Mommy. Aren't you proud I made that smell?

"All this solid food is making you one smelly girl!" I exclaim shaking my head at her.

I move to tidy the empty plates away before going to deal with Sage. However as I go to place the dishes beside the sink I see that Peeta has already gotten up and picked her up

"I'll deal with her if you want," he says hoisting Sage into his arms. "You can clean up this while I take care of her."

I smile at him gratefully. I don't know what I did to deserve as good a friend as him. With Sage on solids now the contents of her diapers are getting more interesting and changing them is something I definitely don't enjoy. I am touched that he would offer.

"That'd be great. You know where all the stuff is," I say gratefully.

"No problem," Peeta smiles. "Let's get you all smelling of roses for Mommy!"

Sage smiles and Peeta carries her through to get changed while talking to her in a silly voice.

Peeta is so good with Sage. I love how she is the first thing he asks about each day at work. And he is actually interested. It feels good to have someone to confide all these amazing things she is learning. I swear he gets almost as excited as me at some of the things she has done. He always makes a big fuss over her whenever he comes over and Sage loves being picked up and tickled by him. Her giggles almost double in frequency whenever he is around.

I smile as I watch them leave before turning the faucet on so I can clean the dishes.

* * *

I go through to Sage's bedroom to find her sitting on Peeta's lap as he animatedly tells her a story. Sage's stares at the pages in the book transfixed by the range of colours. She slaps her little hands against the pages as Peeta reads.

"The dog at the farm goes woof woof!" Peeta exclaims putting on his best dog impression while looking at Sage expectedly.

Sage makes a burbling sound that in another world could sound like a dog as she tries to mimic Peeta's tones.

"Good job Sage!" Peeta praises her with a big smile. "Let's see what's next. The cow! The cow on the farm goes moooo!"

Sage giggles before she lets a long sound that is suppose to imitate a cow.

"Who's making all these farm animal noises?" I exclaim making my way over to sit by Peeta and Sage on the bed.

Sage giggles and sticks her hands out for me. I take one and tickle the inside of her wrists. This just causes her to giggle more. Peeta watches us with a grin.

"Shall we let Mommy take one?" Peeta asks Sage. Sage bangs her hands against the book again. Peeta grins at her. "Okay Mommy. What's next?"

Peeta turns to give me the book and I take it and turn the page.

"A duck! The duck on the farm goes quack quack!" I exclaim.

Sage once again makes another squeaking sound and I smile at her proudly as she repeats the sound over and over again.

"I think someone here could live on a farm," Peeta says tickling her tummy. Yet more delighted giggles from Sage.

"I think Peeta has got you too excited for sleepy time," I state as Sage continues to laugh and smile contently at Peeta.

"Uh oh, I'm in trouble Sage," Peeta says with mock seriousness. "I think I better give you to Mommy before we get into any more trouble!"

Peeta picks Sage up off his knee and turns to give her to me. Sage lets out a tiny whimper as she leaves Peeta's arms but she quietens once I have got her settled in my own embrace.

"Do you want a song to help you get to sleep?" I ask rocking her gently.

Sage just stares back up at me, her grey eyes waiting expectedly for her song. Quietly I begin to sing the words to the lullaby my dad used to sing to me whenever I got scared. It is always the best song to get Sage to calm down.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow,_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow…_

Sage instantly begins to quieten as I sing the soft lyrics and gently rock her to sleep. Her eyes begin to droop not moments later and by the time I have repeated the song for a second time she is sleeping soundly in my arms. I brush a lock of her dark hair off her face and place a kiss on her head before I get up and place her gently in her crib. I reach over to make sure she can reach her bunny if she wakes.

Peeta comes up behind me as I watch her sleep soundly with her stuffed toy beside her.

"I don't know what it is about sleeping babies," Peeta begins. "But there is something so captivating about them."

I turn to smile at him.

"Probably because they aren't screaming for once," I reply.

"That might have something to do with it," Peeta says with a grin.

"Come on. What movie classic have you got for me to watch this time," I say making a move out of Sage's room.

"I brought two comedy gems. _Anchorman_ and _21 Jump Street._" Peeta replies as he follows me through to the living room.

"I've never seen _Anchorman_," I reply.

Peeta looks at me shocked.

"How could you have not seen it? Will Ferrell at his finest!" he exclaims.

"I was like 9 when it came out. A little too young," I state casually.

Peeta shakes his head at me.

"You make me feel so old," he groans. "I sometimes forget you are only 18."

I shrug my shoulders.

"So are we going to watch it or not?" I ask picking up the DVD case.

Peeta grins again before taking the case off me and putting it in the DVD player.

"Be prepared for your sides to hurt from laughing so much," Peeta declares as he moves back to sit on the couch beside me.

I lift up my feet so he has a space to sit down before placing them back down so my legs are draped over his lap. We settle down into the couch and get ready to watch the movie. These nights are fast becoming the highlights of my week.

* * *

The next day Peeta and I are both back working at the bakery. Peeta has been stuck in his office for most of the morning as he has to work out exactly what every store needs for the next order.

It's been steady business this morning and I have already had to put up with my old English teacher, Effie Trinket, nosing about my business and inquiring about Sage. Bonnie and I are refilling the counter when a young, dark skinned girl with curly black hair and chestnut coloured eyes pushes her way into the store with her 8 month old son.

"Hey Rue," I say with a smile as she pushes the stroller in. "What's brought you here today?"

I met Rue in the baby and toddler group I joined a few weeks back. It was intimidating at first to join as I didn't want to be judged by all the stay at home moms but on the whole the majority have been friendly and welcoming even if I few don't hide their opinion that I am not old enough to have a daughter.

Rue was a saving grace there. At 20 she is a little older than me but is in a similar situation being a single mom. The father of her son Chase didn't even bother sticking around once he found out she was pregnant. We have many of the same struggles and it is a relief to have someone else who knows exactly what I am going through.

Rue gives me a tired smile as Chase stretches an arm out in his sleep.

"I just dropped out of college. I need one of your wonderful cakes to cheer me up," she states sadly.

"You did what?" I asked shocked.

"Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do. I just couldn't keep it up anymore. With the cold Chase had last month I fell way behind. There's no way I can pass finals this semester. I told my mom it would only be this year. I'll try and get back next year."

I give her a sympathetic look. I know how hard every day life can be when you are young and have a baby.

Rue had been doing well in college until she fell pregnant with Chase in her sophomore year. With Chase's dad absent she has been trying to juggle work, school and a baby ever since. I know how stressed she has been these past couple of weeks as Chase came down with a really bad cold that forced Rue to spend most of her hours nursing him back to full health. School becomes a low priority when you have bills to pay and a baby to look after.

"The cake will be on me," I say as Rue comes over to choose which one she wants.

Rue chooses a strawberry and vanilla cupcake and I pick it up and wrap it up in a pretty box for her. Rue smiles at me gratefully as she takes the box.

Peeta walks through and gives Rue a warm smile when he sees her. He's met her a couple of times now and fusses over Chase in a similar way as he does over Sage.

"How you doing?" he asks bending down to take a better look at Chase.

"I've been better," Rue states.

Peeta furrows his eyebrows and is about to ask her what's wrong when a tall, bronze haired man enters the shop dramatically.

"Hold the front pages! Finnick Odair has come to Panem!" the man declares.

Rue and I both look at him with a frown.

The man can only be described as a Greek God reincarnated. Bronze hair that is stylishly tousled, green eyes that glint mischievously, a toned, tanned physique. This is a guy who has obviously broken a lot of girls' hearts.

Peeta's face breaks into a huge grin at the sight of the man.

"Finnick, man! What are you doing here?" he exclaims as he goes over to give the man, Finnick, a massive man hug.

"Thought I'd come and see how my best mate is doing without me. I know how much you pine for me down here!" Finnick replies.

Peeta shakes his head a little as he smiles at Finnick.

"I can't believe it!" Peeta exclaims. "How's New York?"

"Awesome dude. There is always something going on. Always on the go. And the ad firm adore me!" Finnick replies.

"And how many people in the office have you slept with?" Peeta asks cocking one eye brow at him.

"Maybe a couple," Finnick replies coyly. "But what about you? You didn't tell me you work with such beauties!"

Finnick has now turned his attention to Rue and I. Rue blushes a little at his charming smile but it has no effect on me. He's too polished for me. He reminds me too much of one of those Ken dolls Prim used to have.

"Oh I don't work here," Rue corrects Finnick's mistake.

"So I wouldn't have to worry about your boss getting jealous if I asked you out," Finnick replies with a wink.

Rue giggles and blushes again. Finnick turns his attention away from Rue to look solely at me.

"You I have heard about," Finnick states with a smirk. "You must be Katniss. Peeta forgot to mention how beautiful you are."

I frown a little at this man. I am still a bit confused about who he is and how he knows about me.

"Katniss, this is Finnick, my roommate from Princeton. He works at an advertising agency in New York. Half the trouble I got into in college was because of this one," Peeta explains.

I nod my head, finally understanding who this guy is. Now he mentions it, I vaguely remember Peeta mentioning a guy called Finnick in some of his stories about college.

"How come you haven't asked this one out yet Peet?" Finnick asks nudging him in the stomach.

I do blush now. Why would he even ask that? There is nothing romantic between Peeta and me. I look over at Peeta and see that he too feels a bit awkward at the comment and shifts a bit uncomfortably on his feet.

"We're just friends," Peeta replies scratching the back of his neck and avoiding Finnick's accusing stare.

"You have enough female friends Peet," Finnick says raising an eyebrow.

Peeta scowls at his friend. Finnick returns the scowl with a cheeky grin.

"Well, I'm calling it. I can't wait to tell you I told you so. The sexual tension is oozing out of you both," Finnick says pointing between us.

"It will never happen," I state reaffirming Peeta's earlier statement.

Rue and Finnick both look at each other knowingly and with smirks on their faces. I ignore what that might mean. I don't have time to get involved with anyone like that. Even a nice guy like Peeta.

"Well now that is out the way, when are we all getting together to all hang out?" Finnick says clapping his hands together and then turning to talk to Rue. "Where's good to go here?"

"I don't think I'd be able to come," Rue replies. "You know, got a baby and all."

"Surely you can find a babysitter?" Finnick asks. "I'll show you a real good time if you come."

He leans into Rue suggestively and I want to throw up. Are there really guys like him out there?

"We'll see," Rue replies with a coy smile.

Finnick straightens up and grins at her.

"I'll take that for now. Peeta, Katniss you in for a get together? I was thinking bowling. Peet invite those high school friends of yours. Delly is always a laugh on a bowling alley," Finnick states.

Peeta looks at me questioningly. A night out bowling does sound good. Even if it is with this idiot Finnick. Though I'm not sure I can get Mom to babysit Sage.

"I'll see what I can do," I reply.

Peeta gives me a happy smile that causes a warm feeling to radiate out from the center of my chest.

"I'll give everyone a call," Peeta says finally tearing his eyes away from mine.

"Excellent!" Finnick exclaims. "Bring it on!"

* * *

2 days later we all stand huddled together at the entrance of the bowling place. The weather is definitely getting colder and it won't be long now until the snow comes. I clutch my arms around my chest desperately trying to keep in the warmth. The cold nips at the tips of my ears and my nose making them tingle. The sooner we get inside the better.

"Okay dudes!" Finnick exclaims. "I've got us 2 lanes. Winners get their dinners paid for."

"Stop all the bravado. Let's just get in there and see who's the best," Thresh states.

"I like your way of thinking," Finnick replies before he ushers us all into the building.

I stuff my hands in my pockets and roll my eyes at Peeta as we enter the building. Does Finnick really have to be so exuberant? Peeta smiles in response before stepping out the way and holding the door open for me. I thank him as I rub my hands together to try and get the warmth back in them. Everyone else starts peeling off their layers of clothing as Finnick goes to set up our lanes.

"Do you think he always has so much energy?" Rue whispers to me as she goes to untie her black leather boots.

"It's exhausting just watching him," I reply.

Rue lets out a small chuckle as she finishes pulling off her boots.

Everyone ended up being able to come tonight. My mom offered to babysit both Sage and Chase and I am looking forward to a night away from diapers and nursery rhymes. I love Sage but there is only so much baby talk I can handle.

Peeta offers me a hand to help me get up after I have taken off my boots and walks with me over to get our bowling shoes. The girl at the counter hands over the ghastly red and black shoes and we join the others at the bowling lanes.

Peeta, Madge and I all end up in one lane with Finnick, Rue, Thresh and Delly in the other. Finnick is all out to impress Rue tonight and he has already got her up to show her the best arm action to use. I shake my head at him. He's got no chance. Rue and I have already talked about how uninteresting boys are for us now that we have kids. We can no longer have casual flings. We have our children to think about.

"Not one to brag, but I rule at bowling," Peeta confidently states.

I turn and raise an eyebrow at him.

"Oh really?" I say. "You sound an awfully lot like Finnick."

Peeta lets out a chuckle.

"I'm way better than Finnick," Peeta says leaning into me with a cheeky smirk. His blue eyes look even brighter under the florescent lights of the bowling alley. I get momentarily lost in his gaze.

Suddenly he has pulled back and walking over to select a ball. He picks one up and makes a big show of setting up and taking aim.

"Get ready to analyse my technique," Peeta says cockily.

"Just bowl," I demand.

Peeta grins at me before bringing his arm back and releasing the ball. It hurtles down the lane and hits the pins bang in the center. 9 pins tumble down leaving 1 lone pin standing isolated in the back left corner. Peeta quickly turns round to select his next ball and the barrier has only just been lifted before he fires the ball down and knocks the remaining pin flying into the back.

Peeta turns round to me with a satisfied grin.

"Told you!" he announces triumphantly as he makes his way over to me.

"Not bad," I say picking myself off the bench and making my way over for my turn.

I lift the ball up and aim for the center pin. I release the ball and it goes whizzing down the lane and knocking all the pins over in one go.

I spin round with a triumphant smirk.

"Oh didn't I tell you? I'm awesome at bowling," I state.

Peeta chuckles at me with an impressed smile.

"So it seems," he replies with a grin as I retake my seat next to him. Madge rolls her eyes at us.

"How did I end up stuck in this ego contest?" Madge sighs as she takes her own shot. Only 7 pins fall down.

"Maybe I should just give up and leave you two to it," she says after taking her second shot but failing to knock down any more pins.

Peeta and I grin at each other as he gets ready for the next shot.

The contest between Peeta and I gets pretty intense. There's really not much in it and the lead exchanges hands many times as the game goes on. Madge doesn't quit and carries on but she is no competition. Peeta and I do the best to distract each other, cat calling and standing behind each other and tickling the other. I squirm under Peeta's touch as he refuses to stop to let me take my shot.

I notice Madge and the others giving us amused looks and exchanging knowing glances between each other. I am having too much fun to analyse what they mean.

I have the most fun I have had in ages. Being with Peeta and his friends allows me to forget about all my responsibilities for a while and just enjoy being 18. I catch myself staring at Peeta a few times throughout the night. In many ways it feels like I am seeing him for the first time. I have always known he was good looking but tonight is the first time I really appreciate it. Maybe it is because we are in such a relaxed setting and I feel like a regular 18 year old but I become transfixed by the broad muscles in his back and continue to lose myself in his brilliant blue gaze. I notice that I perk up whenever he is around. I can't help the smile that appears on my face whenever he looks my way.

Finnick's words from the bakery ring in my ears. Do I really think of Peeta as more than a friend? Would I really want to go there with him?

I think about all the kind things Peeta has done for me and Sage since I have known him; the flexible hours, defending me in front of his mom, the evening cooking sessions at my house. He has been there constantly for me the last few months. I get butterflies in my stomach as I realise how much he looks out for me.

Does he like me? He was just as uncomfortable as me when Finnick brought it up at the bakery. I hadn't seen him like that before. Did Finnick hit too close to the bone? Has he thought about it?

I've caught him staring at me just as many times as I have found myself staring at him. He is always finding ways to hang out with me and make me laugh. There are all those nights he comes round to mine. From the outside they could almost look like dates. Isn't cooking and watching movies together what couples do? And he is great about Sage. He's been really supportive of me. Would he really do all these things if he didn't have stronger types of feelings for me? I get butterflies at the thought.

But can I let myself have more? My experience with Thom is still fresh in my mind. I can't have anyone hurt Sage and I like that again. Not that I think Peeta is like Thom. It's just I have to put my own wants and needs aside and do what is best for Sage. Jumping into another relationship can't be good for her. And what if things didn't work out? It would kill me if I lost Peeta as a friend.

I shake the thoughts out of my head. I can't think about this. Sage is my priority. I should just focus on her.

I hit another strike on my last go resulting in me narrowly beating Peeta and I do a silly victory dance in celebration. Peeta hangs his head and shakes it in disbelief.

"Looks like I'll be paying for your dinner," he says.

"I like hamburgers," I state with a grin as I make my way over.

Madge rolls her eyes as she takes her last shot, hardly putting a dent in our lead and then the 3 of us go back to change our shoes. Thresh and Finnick are still stuck in an epic battle in their lane as Delly and Rue watch them with amused looks. Madge excuses herself to go to the restroom as Peeta hands over our shoes and we sit down to put our shoes back on.

"I was supposed to have impressed you with my bowling skills tonight. Didn't realise I was up against a pro," Peeta turns to me with a smile

"You should see me on a shooting range. That's where my real talent lies," I state confidently.

Peeta chuckles as he moves in closer to me, his blues eyes locked onto my grey ones.

"Remind me to call you if I need protecting from an armed robber," he says with a grin.

I smile back but am then frozen into place as Peeta's stare continues to hold my gaze. It is only now I realise how close we have gotten. The sides of our bodies brush against each other and Peeta's face is only inches from mine. My heart begins to pound faster. My eyes drop to his lips and I think about what it would be like to reach up and kiss them.

My earlier reservations about moving things further go out the window. I don't think about my daughter. I can only think about this man in front of me. This man that makes me laugh and is always there for me. I become enchanted by his soft smell of cinnamon and dill and the brightness in his eyes. Without any further thought I lean forward and press my lips against his.

I can feel the shock in his body as I do so and he tenses slightly away at first. I keep my lips pressed against his savouring the tingle that runs through my body but after a few seconds he springs his head back leaving my lips hanging in the air.

"Katniss…" he begins in a wary tone.

My heart plummets as I realise that he doesn't want this. That I have read him wrong.

"Don't," I state ashamed. "Please don't say anything."

Peeta looks at me sadly and reaches out to touch my arm. I flinch away from him hurt. I am so embarrassed. Peeta is my friend. I shouldn't have kissed him.

"Listen Katniss. I like you. I do, but I just don't think you and I are a good idea at the moment. You've been through a lot this past year and just broke up with Thom. I just think you really need a friend more than anything at the moment," he tries to explain.

I don't look at him. He doesn't want me. He just sees me as a friend. Why would he want someone like me anyway? I'm just a pathetic teen mom with no prospects. The rejection hurts more that I thought it could.

"It's fine. Let's just forget about it," I reply my eyes trained on my boots.

"Katniss…" Peeta tries again but I don't want to hear anymore.

I'm so mortified. The whole room becomes incredibly uncomfortable. I can no longer be near him. I just want to go home to my daughter and forget about my shame.

"Leave it Peeta," I state firmly. "I need to get back to Sage."

I get up off the bench and make my way to the door.

"Katniss, I'm your ride," Peeta calls after me.

"I'll take the bus," I call back to him without turning round.

I burst out into the cold air as I run away from him. This is what happens when I make impulsive decisions. I end up getting hurt and embarrassed. I just want to get home and forget it ever happened.


	8. Chapter 8: December

Chapter 8

_December_

I rush into the bakery already 20 minutes late. I have had the morning from hell. Sage has caught her first cold and has been sleeping terribly at night. I think I got about 80 minutes of sleep last night as I stayed up late to nurse her back to sleep. She then made a big fuss this morning refusing to eat any of her breakfast and knocking her sippy cup all over the floor. When I did eventually get some food in her she just threw it all back up.

It's only 7.50 in the morning and I've already had enough of this day.

I burst into the staff room to dump my bags before going out front to help with the morning rush. Peeta is inside drinking a mug of coffee and reading some recipe book when I enter and gives me a welcoming smile.

"Rough morning?" he asks sympathetically after he sees my scowl.

I give him a heavy sigh as I tie the strings of my apron round my waist.

"This cold Sage has got is an absolute nightmare! She cries constantly. I've forgotten what sleep feels like," I rant. "I swear she got this from her father. He always thought his world was going to end the minute he got a sniffle."

"What happened to the overly paranoid mother from the beginning of the week? You were convinced Sage had some terminal illness," Peeta jokes.

"I'm working on about 6 hours sleep for the week. I can't wait for her to get over this thing!" I say exasperated while arranging the reindeer ears on my head. All staff are required to wear them to promote our new reindeer cupcakes and to help spread the Christmas cheer.

"I hate to see Sage poorly. I'm sure it will clear up soon," Peeta reassures.

I smile at him gratefully and am about to go through to the front when Peeta stops me.

"Emm, Katniss. You have something on your shirt," he points out.

I look down at the top of my shirt and see that sure enough Sage has left me with a little present this morning. A yellowish green mush is smeared across the top of my shoulder. I scrunch my nose in disgust and pick at the top of my shirt.

"Oh crap! No wonder that man was looking funny at me on the bus. Stay away from me today. I am a disaster zone!" I exclaim.

Peeta chuckles lightly.

"It's not funny! This is my life!" I reply dramatically.

This just makes Peeta laugh more. I hit him on the arm. He feigns being hurt and begins rubbing the spot where I hit him.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he apologises. "I keep a spare polo in my office. You can wear that for the day. I think some of my customers might have a problem with my staff smelling like squashed pears."

Peeta stretches out to pick at my shirt just above the vomit stain. I sigh and hang my head. The sad fact is that I have become accustomed to smelling like various squashed and pureed food. A meal time doesn't go by where Sage doesn't manage to get some of her dinner on me.

Peeta gives me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and takes me through to his office where is chucks me his spare polo shirt. I catch it expertly and make my way to the bathroom to get changed.

The shirt is way too big for me. Peeta is a lot broader than me. On him the shirt hugs his body emphasising his muscular physique but on me the shirt hangs off my body like a small tent. And yet I can't help but savour the feeling of wearing an item of his clothing. It even smells like him, cinnamon and dill, and I can't help but feel a sense of pride that I get to wear something of his. It's what a girlfriend would do.

I stop myself from letting my thoughts linger on that for too long. I'm not allowed to think about that. It's not going to happen.

Peeta and I have barely spoken about my attempt to kiss him. The day after he cornered me and tried apologising again. I told him I didn't want to talk about it and avoided him for the next few days utterly embarrassed about the whole situation. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Every time I looked at him I just remembered his rejection and couldn't bare the pain it caused me.

I hadn't even realised I had wanted him so much. Up until that night he had just been my friend. But Finnick's remarks and his friends knowing looks opened my eyes and I unexpectedly realised I had liked him that way for a while. Maybe even since that staff party where he told me about Cashmere and defended me in front of his mom.

That night he had talked about wanting someone who took his breath away whenever he saw them. I now understand what he means. Sometimes when I come into work in the morning I momentarily lose my train of thought when I see his blonde curls fall into his crystal clear blue eyes as he kneads dough or he is studying the figures intently. He is so beautiful and charming and kind and I can't get him out of my head.

I did reach out to him again a couple of weeks ago when I realised how much I missed him. I missed talking about the bands we like. I missed telling him about Sage. I missed him laughing at my disastrous attempts at trying to help him cook. Without me even realising it he had become my best friend and I just wanted that back. I told him I understood that he was just doing what he thinks is best for me. I told him I wouldn't hold his rejection against him. I swallowed my pride and tried to forget how my heart picks up whenever he is near. Our relationship has got some way back to normal but boundaries have been set. We still talk like normal at work but his evening cooking sessions at my house have become limited to once every couple of weeks. He is still my friend but it still doesn't stop me craving more.

I leave the bathroom and trudge back through to the staff room to put away my ruined shirt. Peeta raises an eyebrow at me as I enter when he sees me in his baggy shirt.

"Don't say anything," I warn as I see the amusement in his eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't a member of the wrestling team like you were but I can still take you out with a bow and arrow."

Peeta laughs before moving towards me and tucking a strand of hair that has escaped from my braid behind my ear.

"I was just going to say you look better in it than I do," he says looking down into my grey eyes.

I stare back up at him, my heart running a million miles an hour. It scares me how much this man effects me. Moments like this don't make it any easier for me to try and get over him. How can I when he looks at me with such intensity? When he looks at me like this I can't help but hope that maybe he feels the same.

I am the first to break eye contact wanting to avoid getting lost in his gaze.

"Well I better get out there. Bonnie will be ready to murder me if I don't get out there soon," I say stepping back and away from him.

Peeta gives me another one of his warm smiles.

"I couldn't have that. Who would eat all the cheese buns we make," Peeta says with a cheeky smile.

I give him an awkward smile in return before walking out the door and trying to forget how kissable his lips looked just then.

* * *

Just as my day is looking up, the morning rush has slowed and I actually have time to eat more than a banana, it takes a turn for the worse. I see her knee high, brown leather, designer boots before anything else as I bend down to write on the specials board. As I straighten up I see her stylish red winter coat, polished chocolate nails perched on skinny hips and sleek blonde hair framing her ice cold eyes. She looks down at me with an amused smirk.

"Looks like I owe Clove 50 bucks," Glimmer sneers. "I bet you would have been fired before Christmas break."

I push my shoulders back and stand tall before plastering on my best customer smile.

Great. Princeton must have let out for Christmas break.

"Funny. I bet my mom that you would have flunked out of college by now too," I retort.

Glimmer narrows her eyes at me.

"You're just jealous that I'm actually going places where as you are stuck in that filthy suburb with your little bastard and no hope of getting out," she replies. "Maybe you could give MTV a call. They love to make "documentaries" about pathetic losers like yourself."

I clench my fists at my sides and bite my tongue. College has not changed her in any way. She is just as immature and shallow as before.

"Don't talk about my daughter in that way," I growl.

This has no effect on Glimmer and she just carries on.

"You're lucky that my brother has a soft spot for charity cases. Do you think anyone would actually want to hire a no hoper like you?" Glimmer adds.

I can see in her eyes that she is challenging me to respond. Probably so she can go home and tell Mommy and get me fired. But I have come a long way from that impulsive 17 year-old- school girl. I will not let her goad me into a fight this time. Instead I plaster on a sweetly sick smile before answering her.

"I take it you are here to see Peeta. I know it isn't for the cakes. Peeta showed me those pictures of you in kindergarten. If I had been that chubby I wouldn't eat cakes anymore either," I reply.

I can see the mortification in Glimmer's eyes at my comment. Peeta had been more than delighted to share some family snaps of the little Mellarks. It turns out Glimmer hasn't always been the slim glamazon she is today.

She makes an annoyed huffing sound and storms past me and into the back. I catch a snippet of her yelling at Peeta for showing me those pictures before the door closes blocking her cries out. I smile to myself after she leaves It was immature to stoop to her level but it didn't mean I enjoyed it any less.

* * *

A few days later I finally get a day off and have time to put up the Christmas decorations up in the house. Sage's first Christmas is only 5 days away and I want everything to be perfect for her. I have been working extra hours at the bakery so I can save every cent to make this Christmas special for her.

However even with the extra money I am still frustrated about the amount I can afford. I have had to buy all her toys from the super saver store and the tree is too skinny. I hate that I can't afford to give her the best. The house is seriously lacking in festive cheer and I am determined to make this one aspect that doesn't look cheap and tacky.

As soon as Delly discovered that my house was barren of decorations she demanded that I invite the girls round to help put them up and catch up on gossip. I have come to realise that you can't stop Delly once she has got an idea and happily let her plan the whole thing. Her, Madge and Rue, along with Chase, all appeared on my doorstep with boxes of decorations, Christmas cookie dough and egg nog.

"I'm so glad I've found a use for all my old college decorations!" Delly squeals as she begins unpacking a huge box of red and gold tinsel.

"We do have our own decorations you know," I reply as I begin helping Madge unwind the coloured Christmas lights.

"I'm sure you do. But wait until you see what I can do with them!" Delly exclaims. "Our sorority house always won the best decorated house on campus!"

I laugh at her enthusiasm. I didn't think I could like a person as excitable at Delly. She is just so cheery all the time and I wonder how she doesn't get tired from it all. But she is just so god damn nice. I don't think she has ever said a bad word about anyone. It's hard not to like her.

I've continued to develop a friendship with both her and Madge. They are both pretty down to earth people and I can see why Peeta holds them in such high regard. Like withPeeta, I find I have a lot in common with Madge. We're into the same music and both played musical instruments when we were kids. She has a quiet confidence that I admire. She's definitely more than the pretty Mayor's daughter.

The tree already stands in the corner waiting to be decorated. Both Chase and Sage sit in their bouncy chairs mesmerised by all the bright lights and colours. I see Sage eyeing the gold tinsel with awe so I bend down to hand her a bit to play with. She handles it with awe for a while before excitedly waving it about the air with a big smile on her face. Chase watches her amazed until Rue hands him his own bit of tinsel and he inspects it a lot more warily than my daughter.

All the girls look down at the two of them happily as we watch them enjoy the simple things.

"Sage is going to have a field day with all the wrapping paper on Christmas day," I state.

Rue nods her head as she waggles a piece in front of Chase.

"I hear you had a run in with Glimmer," Madge says going back to the Christmas lights.

I turn to face her with a heavy sigh.

"I had kind of forgotten her while she was at Princeton. Is it too much to ask she meets a guy there, marries him and never comes back?" I groan.

Madge smiles.

"Her and Peeta are completely different people. I never could stand her. She used to burst in on us as kids whenever she wasn't getting enough attention," Madge replies.

"She just needs to mature a bit. I'm sure college will do her a world of good," Delly replies, always one to be diplomatic.

"We'll see," Madge says. "Don't let her get to you. You're a much better person than she is."

I smile gratefully at Madge and Rue who nods her head in agreement. I like that I now have friends who stick up for me.

Madge begins hanging the Christmas lights around the window. As she does so the sound of a motorbike echoes in the street. Madge peers out the window to get a look and then raises her eyebrows in appreciative surprise.

"Who's tall, dark and handsome?" she inquires pointing to the tall dark figure out the window.

I peer over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the person she is looking at.

"That's Gale," I reply stepping back from the window.

"You know him?" Madge asks curiously.

"Sort of," I say. "He was sort of my best friend. Before Sage was born."

I begin taking ornaments out their wrappings hoping the subject will change soon. Sadly that part of my life is over.

Madge smiles at me sympathetically before turning back to take another look at him. It's clear something about him has piqued her interest. I should tell her not to waste her time. Gale would never go for a girl like her. Too rich for his liking. And then there's the fact he hasn't ever committed to a girl in his life. There's always another skirt to chase. That never bothered me before but after the way I was treated by Thom I now hate how Gale acts towards girls.

"I need to get laid," Madge moans as she finally draws her attention away from the window. "I'm just so sick of all the guys my dad parades in front of me. They are all so corporate and with no personality."

"I'm telling you Gale is not the answer. He just cares about where the next party is at. He's well known by the cops" I reply.

Madge nods her head in understanding.

"I suppose that's life. Why is a bad boy so attractive?" she bemoans.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Because we think we can change them," Rue pipes up handing Madge a cup of egg nog. Madge accepts it with a smile and nods her head. She takes a sip and then looks back at me.

"So if you guys were best friends, did you ever take him for a test drive?" Madge asks with a suggestive smirk.

I give her a coy smile.

"I've never asked if you've slept with Peeta," I retort.

Madge raises her eyebrows.

"Avoiding the answer. I'll take that as a yes!" she exclaims. "Tell me, how big is he?"

I shake my head at her and smile. I can see Delly looking uncomfortable. She doesn't like talking about sex. It's a very private thing for her. I'm pretty sure she referred to her virginity as her flower.

"I'm not answering that," I state. "Delly help me put these decorations on top."

Delly looks relieved at the change of topic and eagerly jumps up to help me. She hands up the ornaments as I stand on a chair. Madge pouts at me, unhappy that I won't play along. I smile at her again.

I like having this kind of talk. I've missed having this kind of fun among friends. I now realise that I didn't really have many true friends before. They were just people I could party with. All anyone cared about was getting drunk and high. We didn't have this type of camaraderie. I haven't seen most of them for over a year and I find I don't really care.

The one person I do miss is Gale. He was one of the few people I actually hung out with while sober. We bonded over the loss of both our fathers and shooting in the woods. He was actually one of the only people I shared aspects of my life with.

But he was Thom's friend before he was mine. He came over a couple of times when Thom and I got back together again but that stopped the moment I chucked Thom out. Thom is his best friend and he chose him over me. It makes me sad that I have lost his friendship. He is the one person from that life I wish I could keep.

Delly suddenly jumps up and claps her hands together. Madge and I share a startled look.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I bought Chase and Sage's Christmas presents!" Delly shrieks before rushing out to the hall to get 2 small bags and handing one to both Rue and I.

Both bags have been expertly wrapped. The whole bag has been lined with tissue paper, pink for Sage and blue for Chase, that sticks out the top in a styled manner. Matching coloured bows have also been neatly tied and stuck onto the front of each bag.

"You didn't have to," Rue says as she takes the gift.

"It's nothing," Delly replies. "I was just out shopping when I saw these and thought how cute Sage and Chase would be in them!"

Rue and I share a cautious look before we peer in the bag to see what Delly has purchased for our children.

I see something materially and brown and gingerly pull it out the bag to reveal a small reindeer costume for a baby. I turn so see that Rue has pulled out a similar Santa costume for Chase. We both give each other startled looks.

"Aren't they so cute?" Delly exclaims. "Let's put them on now!"

I turn to look at Delly.

"They're great Delly," I say carefully. "But I don't know if I want to dress my daughter up as a woodland animal."

Delly face falls with disappointment at my words.

"Come on Katniss. What harm can it do?" Rue says with an amused grin from beside me.

I give Rue a pleading look. These costumes are ridiculous. Rue just smiles amusedly back at me. I turn to Madge for help but she just shakes her head slightly with a smile to let me know she's not going to help me get out of this.

"Fine," I concede reluctantly. "It'll make a cute photo I suppose."

I sling the costume over my shoulder and go down to pick up Sage. I try to take the tinsel off her but she is having none of it. I can't be bothered fighting with her about it so let her continue to wave it about as I take her through to get changed.

Rue and I carry Chase and Sage back through to the living room and to a very excited Delly. I have to admit Sage does look cute. I managed to wrestle the tinsel off her long enough to get her into the costume and she does look adorable. Chase looks equally cute in his little Santa suit and hat. Sage bumbles some happy sounds as I take her back through and place her on the couch next to Chase.

"EEEE!" Delly squeals. "They are so adorable! I need to get my camera!"

Delly fumbles about her purse to find her pink iPhone and then starts snapping various pictures of Sage and Chase. The children just look confused as Delly snaps away making various inaudiable noises. Rue and I get our own phones out and try to get a decent photo of them both.

"Sage look at Mommy," I coo.

Sage turns her attention away from a jabbering Delly to face me. I pull her favourite silly face and I am rewarded with a toothy smile. I quickly take the picture before she gets distracted again. I look down at my phone and I pleased with the result. Both Chase and Sage are looking at the camera with big smiles. This photo will definitely make the refrigerator.

Madge peers over my shoulder to look at the photo.

"That's good," she says with a smile. "You should send it to Peeta. He'll probably print it off and hang it in the bakery."

I turn my head to look at her.

"You're right. He'd want to see this," I say before quickly sending him the picture.

He's always gushes over any picture of Sage. He has quite a few stored on his own iPhone.

Once I look back up I see Delly and Madge sharing a knowing look.

"Peeta was pretty disappointed he wasn't invited to this thing," Madge says with a knowing smile. "I think he's jealous that we are stealing you away from him."

"He knew this is girls' night," I reply trying to play it cool. They continue to all share an amused look.

"He spent a lot of time looking for your gift. I've never seen him put so much effort in," Delly then adds.

My eyes flit to the large rectangular box in the corner. Peeta had come round a couple of days ago with gifts for both Sage and I. I can already tell by the sheer volume of gifts he got Sage he went overboard. He is under no obligation to give her anything. My own present sits in that box. I have no idea what it could be but already I feel bad for only giving him a personalised recipe book.

"He's not telling us anything, which in itself tells me something is going on. Normally you can't get him to shut up. So you are going to have to do. What's up with the two of you?" Madge asks.

I avert my gaze and pretend that I am really focused on putting up this wreath. I know this is what girls talk about but I really don't want too. If Peeta hasn't said anything that must mean he was really mortified about what I did. I'm too embarrassed as it is. I just want to forget about it. Talking about it isn't going to make it any easier.

"We're friends," I reply echoing what Peeta had said to Finnick over a month ago.

Rue, Madge and Delly all give me disbelieving looks.

"Fine," Madge says clearly not believing what I have just said. "I'm just saying, I've never seen him this happy before."

I look away again trying to fight the blush rising in my cheeks. Is she really insinuating that I am the one making him so happy? I try not to let my heart get too happy at the thought.

Just then my cell phone beeps. I take it out of my jeans pocket to look at it.

_Peeta: Where's your reindeer costume? The two of you would be the most adorable reindeer in the world!_

I smile to myself happily before sliding my phone back in my pocket and hoping the others didn't see.

* * *

Christmas Eve arrives and Mom and I sit in the living room with Sage on the rug singing Christmas songs. Mom had found some bells and Sage has loved ringing them along with the tune of _Jingle Bells_. Mom sits back looking at us both lovingly.

"You've got such a beautiful voice. It reminds me of your father. I used to love to hear him sing," Mom says pensively.

I turn to give her a sad smile as Sage drops the bells with a bang. I snap my attention back to her.

"Careful honey," I say. "They make a lot of noise."

Sage looks at me with a frown. I smile and shake my head at her before bending down to give her a kiss on the top of her head.

"How about we open a present, yeah?" I say.

Sage flaps her arms about and I take that as a yes. I look under the tree to see if I can see a gift for her.

"How about one of Peeta's hmm," I say stretching to reach one of Peeta's many presents.

Sage continues to flap her arms about as I gently rip a corner for her. She catches onto the end of it and is soon tearing away at it. I help her as Mom watches on amused. Eventually we get the gift free and a stuffed giraffe springs free. It's extremely fluffy and Sage spends a few minutes patting it and putting its ear in her mouth for her to chew before deciding that the wrapping paper is more interesting and abandoning the toy so she can continue to scrunch and wave the paper about.

I smile and stroke her dark curls before letting her carry on with what she is doing.

"The simple things in life," Mom says with a smile.

I smile back.

"It won't be long before wrapping paper doesn't entertain her anymore and she's demanding an ipad," I sigh leaning back against the couch.

I have no idea how I will be able to afford these things for when she is older. I won't be able to buy much on my bakery wage.

"How about you open one," Mon suggests. "You've been eying Peeta's present for days."

My eyes flit over to the box again. To say my curiosity isn't piqued is an understatement. I have been wondering what is inside of it for days now.

Slowly I crawl over to the tree and carefully pull the box down. I toy with the flap of the paper for a moment before deciding to just get it over with and rip the paper off in one go. Removing the paper doesn't reveal much, just a cardboard box, but there is a note taped on top.

_So you can teach Sage just like your dad taught you._

_Merry Christmas_

_Love Peeta_

I frown a little at the note, my curiosity really heightened now. I pop open the top of the box and my breath is taken away at the sight of the gift.

He has bought me a classic acoustic guitar.

I had told him a couple of months ago how my dad used to teach me guitar when I was younger. I had loved playing and singing with him. Prim had no talent for it so it was something that was just for me and dad. I had sold his guitar soon after he died because I couldn't bear looking at it anymore. It had too many memories. I moaned to Peeta how much I regretted this now. It is part of him I will never get back. I want to share that with Sage the same way my dad shared it with me.

I can feel a tear threaten to fall from my eye. I can't believe he did this for me. It's not the same one as my dad's but the message behind it is the same. I don't have to forget about him completely.

"It's beautiful," Mom says.

I nod my head swallowing my tears. I can't say anything for the fear of welling up.

Sage makes a cry to let us know that she is still here and wants our attention again. I put the guitar down gently before turning to her and picking her up.

"Peeta spoils us," I say to her, tickling her tummy. Sage giggles and squirms in my arms.

Her laugh is enough for me to forget my sadness and I continue to tickle and hoist her up in the air. Sage childish giggles soon fill the room.

* * *

Later I sit with Sage on my lap reading her the _Night before Christmas _as she plays with my braid and chews the end of it in her mouth. There is a knock at the door and Mom gets up to answer it. Sage turns her head momentarily towards the noise before I turn her back to look at the book.

I hear Mom greet the person at the door and a few minutes later Peeta appears in the door of the living room. I stop reading and look at him surprised. He is dressed in a pale blue shirt with navy tie. Sage smiles when she sees him and reaches her arms out for him.

"Hey cutie," he says making his way over and picking up Sage.

She squeals in delight as he picks her up and gives her a big wet kiss on her cheek. I continue to look up at him confused why he is here. The Mellarks are hosting a big fancy party tonight. He's mom would kill him if he left early.

Peeta looks around and sees the mess of wrapping paper on the floor.

"Did you make all this mess?" he asks her. Sage smiles and pats his face. "I think your real gift was that paper!"

I smile at his words and finally stand up to greet him. I stroke Sage's head as I do so.

"Yeah. Your giraffe was soon forgotten about," I say with a grin. Sage continues to pat Peeta's face.

"You opened one of my presents? I hope it wasn't too boring," he says looking at her, bouncing her up and down on his hip.

Sage giggles as he does so. Peeta then turns his attention back to me.

"Did you open my gift for you?" he asks hopefully.

I nod my head.

"I love the guitar. Thank you," I reply simply.

Peeta smiles at me and then we are stuck just staring at each other while Peeta continues to bounce Sage up and down.

The atmosphere in the room seems to change. There is a heat to his gaze that causes my skin to flush. My heart begins to beat faster.

We are broken out of the trance by my mother clearing her throat. We both turn to look at her having forgotten she was in the room.

"How about I take Sage and leave you two to talk," Mom says taking Sage off Peeta and leaving the room. She gives me a knowing look as she leaves. Sage whimpers as my mom takes her out. I have to fight my maternal instinct to go to comfort my daughter but my curiosity over Peeta's appearance stops me.

Peeta suddenly seems to get uncomfortable and shifts about nervously on his feet before eventually settling himself down on the couch. I look down at him confused about what has got him so fidgety. He eyes beg for me to sit down and I gingerly take a seat next to him.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have that big family party tonight?" I ask.

Peeta nods his head looking down at his hands before answering.

"I was. I just realised that it wasn't where I was supposed to be," he states finally looking back at me.

I frown at him and shake my head confused. He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I was there listening to all my aunts and uncles asking me about whether I had a special girl in my life and I just kept picturing you and Sage," he explains.

I take a sharp inhale of breath. Where is he going with this?

"…and then I heard Mom and Glimmer talking about you and I realised I hate hearing people bad mouthing you. It hurts me more than when they say bad things about me…" he continues.

My heart is hammering in chest. The words are tumbling out of his mouth now and I'm scared I won't keep up.

"…and I don't care that Thresh, or Castor or my brothers think I shouldn't get myself tangled up with you."

He stops now and looks me straight in the eye. He is deadly serious now.

"I thought I was doing you the right thing by stopping things at the bowling alley but I now realise I was just using that as an excuse. I told you that I wanted that great love and then unexpectedly you creep up on me and I was unprepared. I can already feel myself falling for you like that. My day doesn't start until I see you. I am constantly trying to come up with ways to make you smile or laugh. The worst part of my day is seeing you leave. And it scares me how much I already care about you."

My brain struggles to comprehend all that it has just heard. Is he really saying all the things I want to hear?

"It's still scary," Peeta says his voice soft as he takes my hand. "But I'm no longer afraid. I know I want to be with you."

I sit in stunned silence for a moment. I can't believe this is happening. I am desperately hoping I have not misunderstood him this time.

"Are you being serious, because I sort of come as a package deal," I say still not daring to believe what he says is true.

Peeta smiles at me sweetly and caresses my cheek.

"I know," he states with a smile. "And I love that part of you. Sage is adorable and I care for her just as much as I care for her mom. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make the two of you happy."

My heart does a flip at his words and I lean into his touch. This is what I wanted. Him. Here with me. Wanting me. With all the crap this past year it seems too good to be true.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks.

"Mmmm," I reply looking up into his brilliant blue eyes.

"Will go on a date with me?"

I smile at his cuteness. He is truly an amazing person.

"Yes," I breathe and Peeta faces breaks into the biggest grin I have ever seen.

"Good," he says moving his face closer to mine. "Now let me kiss you properly this time."

He then bends down to capture my lips in a searing kiss.

* * *

**A/N: So Peeta has finally admitted what everyone else already knew! There is still some way to go in this story as Katniss try to navigate a relationship that involves a baby. Hope people continue to enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9: December

Chapter 9

_December_

The bakery is packed with demanding customers all wanting the New Year cupcakes that have become a sort of speciality at Mellark's bakeries. I've been told they were designed by Peeta when he was a teenager and are a perfect mix of intricate design and sparkly holiday cheer. The numbers of the year are carefully piped on in fancy calligraphy and the frosting has a smattering of edible glitter. But what makes them really special is the small star shaped sparkler stuck in on top. Any New Year's party can be brightened up by a tray of these sparkling delights.

I had hoped that now Christmas had passed things would slow down at the bakery. However I was completely unprepared for the rampage for these tiny cakes. The display of them was emptied an hour ago and the pre-ordered cakes are stacked in every available space in both Peeta's office and the staff room. There seem to be a frustratingly large number of people that expect to just come in and pick up a whole caseload of these special cakes and I am becoming exasperated by their irate rants over the fact I am not able to provide them on the spot.

I desperately need to get back to the kitchen to see if Peeta and Castor have anymore to spare. However with the long line of impatient customers this is proving to be difficult.

I eventually manage to slip out unnoticed when a small child start bawling his eyes out for no apparent reason distracting everyone else in the shop. I slip into the quiet hallway and savour the momentary peace as I make my way downstairs to the kitchen, dodging the piles of pre-ordered cakes on my way.

I push into the cosy kitchen to be met with the sweet smells of chocolate and cinnamon. Both Castor and Peeta work at a frantic pace at their work stations. Pollox came down with the flu a couple of days ago which has meant that Peeta has had to roll up his sleeves and get elbow deep in bread dough and cake mix. Castor has a look of steely concentration as he cracks eggs and mixes flour in rapid succession.

I smile as I turn to Peeta who is looking equally intense. His eyebrows are knotted and his tongue sticks out slightly as he carefully pipes on the year number. His sweaty curls are plastered to his forehead and I can see every defined muscle in his arms working as grips onto the piping bag with expert control. I stop and marvel for a second at just how adorable he looks right now.

And I get to kiss him.

After he had expressed his feelings for me on Christmas Eve we had spent the next 20 minutes acquainting ourselves with every inch of each other's mouths. I have never taken the time to explore a person like that before. It had always been rushed with Thom, both of us desperate for the final climax. But while I was with Peeta I realised the pleasures of taking your time and savouring the moment. I immersed myself in Peeta's steady warmth and got lost in his gentle touches and caresses. Everything about it had felt electric.

Peeta had stayed until midnight both of us just laughing and talking and just being together until he decided he couldn't ignore his mother's calls any longer. He left after kissing Sage goodnight and then leaving me breathless on my doorstep. He promised to call me about our date and I was left with the most ridiculous big grin on my face.

We haven't spent much alone time together since, not with the bakery rush and his various family commitments. We have been limited to stolen moments at the bakery and I am craving for a replay of that kiss on my doorstep. Our date is tomorrow evening and my stomach is full of excited butterflies at the thought of finally getting him to myself again.

Peeta looks up and catches my eye as I enter and he gives me a sweet smile. Castor barely lifts his head to see who it is before he looks back down to continue making the cake mix.

I walk over to Peeta and lean against his work station as he carries on with his work.

"Any chance you've got some cakes spare to sell out front? I swear someone is about to commit murder to get one," I say.

Peeta smiles in response and quickly finishes another tray of cakes and places down the piping nozzle before wiping a sweaty forearm across his forehead.

"You can have these," he states his cheeks rosy from the heat of the ovens. "I'll stay late tonight to get the cakes done for the orders."

I smile at him gratefully and begin helping him place the cakes in boxes so they are ready to sell. We work in tandem as we quickly fill the boxes and begin stacking them to take upstairs. Peeta wipes his hands on an old scrap of cloth and I stop and smirk at him as he does so.

"What?" he asks quizzically.

I smile again before taking a step towards him and reaching out to wipe off a bit of gold frosting that has been smeared across his cheek.

"You've got something on you," I say with a grin before sticking my finger in my mouth and sucking off the sweet frosting. I hold Peeta's gaze the entire time and his eyes blacken a little as his gaze fixes on my lips. His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Castor look up and shake his head at us before going back to work. I ignore him and slowly retract my finger from my mouth, giving Peeta a sultry smile and then turning to pick up the stack of boxes and sauntering out the room. I can feel Peeta's eyes on me as I leave.

I have barely made it out the door when the door swings open and Peeta has taken the boxes off me and pinned me against the wall. His solid frame encases my small body and I can't deny the thrill that runs up my spine at the feeling of having him so close up against me.

"You can't expect me to just let you walk out after that little display," Peeta says in a husky tone.

My heart quickens at his words.

"So what are you going to do about it," I challenge.

Peeta just smirks at me before lowering his lips to mine and engaging me in a searing kiss.

I sigh at the feeling of having his lips on mine again. I love the way he tastes of mint and chocolate and the way he feels in my arms. My whole body hums as he presses his body closer to mine. I don't think I will ever get tired of his kisses.

We are interrupted by Castor pushing the kitchen door open and him catching sight of us. He narrows his eyes before mumbling an apology and storming back inside.

I scrunch up my eyebrows in confusion at his reaction. He has acted strangely whenever he has seen Peeta and I together since Christmas. Peeta loosens his embrace on me slightly and I lean back against the wall. Suddenly I am hit with a memory of a comment made on Christmas Eve. In his ramble to let me know exactly what he was feeling he had mentioned that a few people had expressed concerns about him pursuing me. Castor had been one if those people. Suddenly I become desperate to know what Castor had said.

"Castor doesn't like that we are seeing each other," I state.

Peeta sighs and presses his forehead against mine before answering.

"He thinks I'm taking on too much responsibility, with the bakery, with you," he sighs. "He thinks I should enjoy being 22 and not get myself tied down with someone that has a kid."

As I let his words sink in my mood drops. I can't even deny the truth in Castor's comment. I have thought similar things myself over the past couple of months. I still don't quite know what Peeta sees in a single mom with no prospects.

Peeta tips my chin up so that I am looking into his bright blue eyes.

"But he doesn't understand. I am only happy when I am with you and Sage. I've done enjoying myself at college. Being with you is what I want now," Peeta states firmly.

As I look up into his cerulean eyes I only see the honesty in his statement. He genuinely doesn't see Sage and I as a burden. I lean up to nuzzle my nose against his.

"I don't think I deserve you," I state.

Peeta smiles as he leans into my touch.

"You don't know the effect you have," he replies softly. "And I can't wait for our date."

It is my turn to smile and I give him a light kiss on the top of his nose before leaning back and picking up the boxes of cakes.

"I look forward to it," I say with a smile as I finally make my way up the stairs.

* * *

The next day I frantically rush about my bedroom trying to find something suitable for my date with Peeta. Sage sits in her bouncing chair, chewing on the tail of the stuffed giraffe Peeta gave her for Christmas. She watches on, confused about what has got her Mommy in such a tizzy.

I tip out the contents of one of my drawers and shift through to find a warm, yet attractive sweater to wear. Peeta hasn't told me where he is taking me but has stated that I should dress warmly. Nothing in my wardrobe seems to fit that criteria. I huff in exasperation as I come up empty handed yet again. I need to find something soon. He will be here in 20 minutes.

I hadn't expected to be so nervous for our date tonight. Up until this morning I had only been excited at the thought of spending time with him but as the date draws nearer the nerves just continue to grow.

I shouldn't be nervous. I mean this is Peeta. I've spent countless hours with just him. It should be no different from any of the other times we hung out. It's just the word date that scares me. I am vastly inexperienced in this area. I never went on dates with Thom. He just took me to the next party. What if I behave wrong? What if Peeta realises that all this is just one big mistake?

After listening to my exasperated screams for long enough, my mom comes through to help calm me down. She picks up a tight fitting, red knitted sweater and hands it to me.

"Wear this," she says in a soothing tone.

I inspect the garment for a moment before deciding that it will have to do and pull it on over my bra. Mom picks up Sage and sits with her on her lap on my bed. I rush to the mirror to try and tame the bird's nest that is my hair. Mom jiggles Sage on her knee as Sage continues to chew on her giraffe.

"Relax honey," Mom says. "Everything is going to be fine."

I roll my eyes at her as I twine my hair into a neat side braid.

"I really like him," I admit a little sheepishly.

Mom just smiles knowingly, kissing the top of Sage's head and replies, "I know."

I turn to face her and my daughter now.

"You don't think I'm being a irresponsible mother by leaving her to go on a date?" I ask a little nervously. I play with the ends of my sweater as I wait for her response.

This thought has been plaguing me for a few days now. I have spent a lot of time thinking about Peeta and I feel guilty for not always thinking about Sage. She is my priority. Her needs are first. But by going on a date with Peeta I am putting my own needs first and being selfish.

"Katniss, your life doesn't have to stop just because you have a daughter. Yes she should be your priority but you have to do things that make you happy too," Mom replies.

I smile gratefully at her and stroke the top of Sage's head.

"And Peeta is a good choice. It's obvious he cares a lot about both you _and_ _Sage_," Mom adds.

"Thank you," I reply.

Mom just smiles in response and Sage gurgles. I am glad Mom approves of Peeta. Already she is being a lot more supportive compared to the time I got back with Thom.

The doorbell goes not moments later and I jump a little startled by the sound. I had momentarily forgotten about my nerves as I talked to Mom but the ringing sound has brought them all flooding back. Mom ushers me to go and answer the door. I take a deep breath before turning to go and greet Peeta.

He is standing in a neat fitting, woolly sweater and sleeveless black zip up jacket. A bright red scarf is neatly knotted around his neck and his blonde curls stick out from underneath his matching red hat. He greets me with a big smile and a bunch of red roses, his eyes sparkling in the dark night.

"Hey," he greets me as he takes a step forward and places a soft kiss on my lips.

The moment his lips are on me I feel myself relax and enjoy the tingle the slight brush of his lips gives me. Everything is going to be fine. He wants to go on this date. I am over thinking this too much.

"Hey yourself," I reply with a smile as he pulls back.

Peeta smiles and then hands the flowers over to me.

"It's not a first date without flowers," he states with a grin.

I shake my head with a smile as I take them happily and take a sniff of their sweet sent. I make my way through to the kitchen and get a jug to put the flowers in. Peeta follows behind me and when I turn round again he is standing right in front of me with a tender look.

"Thank you for the flowers. They're really beautiful," I reply softly.

Peeta's tongue darts out to lick his lips and he takes a step towards me, cupping my cheek with one of his warm hands. I can feel the familiar hammering of my heart whenever he is near and lock my eyes onto his intense blue stare. Slowly he bends down. I can feel his breath tickle my face. His lips are mere millimetres away from mine when we are interrupted by a babbling sound and my mom entering the kitchen with Sage.

Peeta immediately springs back and fixes his gaze on my mom and Sage.

"Nice to see you Mrs Everdeen," he says rather formally. Mom gives him a knowing look and Peeta blushes slightly.

He then sweeps over to my mom and picks Sage out of her arms.

"And of course I've missed you Cutie!" he declares to Sage as he hoists her into the air.

Sage immediately stops chewing her toy and instead giggles as Peeta begins flying her about the kitchen. I watch on with a smile and marvel at the delightful sound of my daughter's laugh. After a few moments I walk over to Peeta and gently touch his arm.

"Okay I think that is enough for now Sage," I say as Peeta brings her to a stop. "Can't have you over excited for Grandma."

Sage looks up at me with a toothy grin and then waves her giraffe up and down.

"I see you like my giraffe," Peeta says to her, tickling her chin.

To show her appreciation Sage begins waving the toy rapidly up and down until eventually it flies out her hand and lands on the kitchen table. Mom smiles as she goes to pick up the toy and walks back over to take Sage off Peeta.

"I think it's time for a story little one," Mom states. "Your Mommy and Peeta have got places to go."

Sage ignores my mom and continues to stare at Peeta and I.

"Are you ever going to tell me where we are going?" I ask Peeta. I'm pretty impatient and don't really like surprises. I just want to know where he is taking me.

"All in good time," Peeta says with a grin.

I huff, not any happier with his answer. I then turn to Sage to tell her goodbye.

"Stay out a trouble Munchkin," I say to Sage bending down to give her a big kiss.

Sage senses that Peeta and I are leaving and she begins to whimper. It breaks my heart to leave her when she is upset but know it's not beneficial to stay. Mom can sense my hesitation and holds Sage close to her chest.

"Just go," she says as she begins to rock Sage back and forth. "She'll be fine. Have fun tonight."

I give Sage another quick kiss before reluctantly pulling away and grabbing my coat. I can hear her cries as I close the door.

Peeta looks at me sympathetically as we get in the car.

"Does it ever get any easier leaving her?" he asks his eyes full of sympathy.

I shrug my shoulders.

"You get better at coming up with coping mechanisms," I state looking down at my hands.

Peeta reaches across the consul and takes my hand. His gentle touch is enough to soothe me and make me feel better. I look up at him and give him a grateful smile.

"Come on. Don't you have a date to take me on?" I ask teasingly.

Peeta returns my smile with a ridiculous big grin.

"I've feel like I have waited a lifetime," he replies.

I smile again and we drive off in a comfortable silence.

* * *

Peeta drives us into the centre of Panem and pulls up outside the large open air ice rink in the town centre. Every year the rink is constructed in the town square and decorated with thousands of brightly coloured Christmas lights and a gigantic Christmas tree. The place is always packed with families and young couples all desperate for a slice of holiday cheer.

I pull my jacket closer around my body as I get out the car. There is a bitterness in the air tonight that cuts right down to the bone.

"Ice skating? Really?" I ask blowing on my hands. "A little corny isn't it?"

Peeta sees me shivering and moves over to wrap his arms around me. He then looks down at me with a dopey grin.

"Didn't I explain to you that I want my life to be like a romantic comedy?" he says with a grin.

I shake my head and bury it against his chest. I inhale the musky scent of his cologne.

"Delly did warn me you were all about the big romantic gestures," I mumble into his chest.

I can feel Peeta grinning above me.

"So you will allow it?" he asks, tipping my head up so I am looking at him.

"I'll allow it," I reply and I am rewarded with the brightest smile I have ever seen.

"Come on," Peeta says tugging on my hand. "I want to show you my impressive ice skating moves."

I chuckle slightly and snuggle into his side as he leads me over to get our boots.

I lace up my boots swiftly and get up somewhat unsteadily on my feet. I flap my arms about the air like a chicken as I try to find my balance. Jesus. I'm not even on the ice yet. Peeta watches me with an amused look and then gets up smoothly onto his own skates. He reaches out to steady me.

"Don't tell me there is something Katniss Everdeen can't do!" he teases.

I grip onto his forearms tightly and finally get myself steady.

"I've never done this before," I admit.

Peeta looks at me a little surprised.

"You mean I actually might get a chance to impress you tonight," he says with a grin. "I knew ice skating would be a great idea!"

I smile and shake my head at him.

"Don't get cocky," I say. "Just don't let go of me alright?"

Peeta chuckles before nodding his head and coaxing me towards the ice. He jumps onto the ice effortlessly and holds out his hands for me to grab onto and join him.

"Come on. I won't let you fall," he says.

I eye the ice warily before gingerly stepping a toe onto the ice. I immediately slip a little and fall against Peeta's strong chest. Peeta laughs as he helps we stand up right. I slide a little as I struggle to stay upright. I already hate this surface. If humans were suppose to walk on this stuff they would have been born with ice grips on their feet. How can Peeta stand so perfectly on this death trap?

"Don't laugh at me," I say with a scowl. "This stuff doesn't sit well with me."

Peeta just laughs again.

"So holding a gun doesn't scare you but an ice rink does?" he laughs.

I scowl at him again.

"I can control a gun. This stuff is unpredictable," I grumble.

Peeta shakes his head at me and then moves away slightly to begin manoeuvring us.

"I'll have you skating like a pro by the end of this," Peeta promises as he begins tugging me along.

I wobble continuously as he pulls me along, gripping tightly onto his arm as he manoeuvres us through the crowd. Every so often I slip a little letting out a little yelp and clinging to Peeta desperately. Peeta meanwhile finds the whole thing amusing and chuckles every time I stumble. I scowl every time he does so but do enjoy the tight hold he has on me on our journey round.

After making 2 very cautious loops of the rink Peeta suggests that I try skating on my own.

"Are you serious!" I ask incredulously. "This stuff is lethal!"

Peeta chuckles and moves closer to me, holding me in a tight embrace.

"I'll be there to catch you. And there may be a kiss in it for you if you do this," he says suggestively as he moves his lips closer to mine.

I get lost in the dizzying scent of his cologne and instinctively lean up to try and meet his lips. However Peeta just grins before pulling back and taking his hands off me. I suddenly find myself stranded by myself without his support. I panic as I wobble on my feet with no idea of how I am going to get over to him without falling flat on my ass. Peeta nods his head in encouragement and holds out his hands for me to reach. He can't be more than a couple of feet away from me but right now it seems like the entire 60 feet width of the District Lake.

I try to take a step forward but only get a couple of inches before I have to stop to steady myself again. Once I am more solid I take a deep breath and try again. This time I get a little further but I am still wobbling uncontrollably and flailing my arms about in the air like a demented seagull.

"You are doing great. Only a couple more steps," Peeta says encouragingly.

I look up at him and see his encouraging stare and I believe that I can get there. I put another foot forward eager to get to him. Unfortunately this time my foot skids and I know this time I won't be able to regain my balance. I flap my arms about but can see the ground coming hurtling towards me. The next thing I know Peeta has darted towards me, using his body to cushion my fall and I tumble on top of him and down onto the ice.

We both groan at the impact before Peeta opens his eyes and looks up at me, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"I told you I would catch you," he whispers.

I smile down at him and I don't care that I have just made a fool of myself by falling over or that there are lots of people watching us. I lean down and press my cool lips against his. Peeta smiles into the kiss before pulling me closer and deepening it. The cold is forgotten.

We are interrupted by a group of giggling kids and we pull away reluctantly. Peeta helps me to my feet. I fall into his chest as he pulls me upright but his arms, as always, are there to steady me.

"I think I've tortured you enough for one day," Peeta says. "How about we get something to eat."

My stomach grumbles loudly in response as I realise I have eaten since lunchtime. Peeta laughs at the sound before gently guiding me to the exit.

* * *

Peeta has chosen a cosy Greek restaurant for our meal tonight. I gather from the way the staff great him warmly that this is a personal favourite of his. I sit staring at the mouth watering menu as I struggle to decide exactly what I want. There are endless possibilities.

Peeta sees my dilemma and puts down his own menu as he reaches out to gently touch my hand.

"How about I order a range of dishes and you can try a bit of everything," he says with a grin.

I nod my head eagerly and place my menu down glad I don't have to make a decision. The waiter comes over soon after and Peeta rattles off a large order that only makes my stomach grumble louder. The waiter takes the orders and then leaves us to our own devices.

Peeta is still holding my hand and I find that I enjoy this simple gesture. His thumb begins tracing patterns on the back of my hand and I feel the most relaxed I have done in years.

"So even though I took you on the deadly surface that is ice, I hope this date isn't shaping up to be too bad," he says.

I smile back at him and give his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Well you really didn't have much competition. This is my first date," I admit.

Peeta raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"Thom never took you out?" he asks ins surprise.

"Thom's idea of a date was driving me to a party and buying me pills," I state.

Peeta nods his head and then looks pensive.

"You were pretty wild huh? " he asks.

I suddenly get a little uncomfortable. Peeta and I haven't really talked a lot about my life before Sage. There is a lot of stuff there that I am not proud of. The drinking and drugs. Getting carted home by the police for trespassing and driving under the influence. Just a lot of stuff I'd rather forget.

And Peeta is the golden boy of Panem. He wouldn't have dreamed of doing some of the shit I did.

"Let's just say I was well known by Inspector Cray," I say with a shrug of my shoulders. "You never had a rebellious streak?"

I don't want to have to get into all the details of my out of control past.

"I once didn't study for a test until the day before," Peeta jokes a little awkwardly.

Even though he tries to joke about it I can tell he doesn't quite understand why I acted like that. He just can't comprehend why anyone would want to do stuff like that.

"It was just a bad coping mechanism for when my dad and Prim died," I add suddenly desperate to make him understand.

I have never really talked to anyone about that time just after they died. I was so intent on just blocking it all out that I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't trust anyone enough to tell them. But with Peeta I do trust him. I want to tell him things. Even if those things are painful for me.

"I remember hearing about it. I had just gone off to college and remember Dad phoning me up to tell me what happened. I remembered your sister coming into the bakery and just couldn't believe that such a sweet girl could now be gone," Peeta states sympathetically.

I give him a sad smile before looking away and down at our entwined hands.

"We were a really close family. Every Sunday evening was family time and my parents would take us somewhere, bowling or to the mug painting place Prim loved so much and we would just laugh and joke and enjoy each other's company. We may not have had much but we were happy," I start.

Peeta gives my hand a squeeze and looks at me tenderly. I bring my gaze back up to look at him.

"The day it happened we were all suppose to go and see this amateur puppet show. Prim was so excited. She had been putting on her own puppets shows all week. But I became sick and had to stay home with Mom. I just remember being woken by the blue lights streaming through the living room drapes. I heard Mom answer the door and the police telling her that some idiot had run a red light and had collided into the side of my dad's car. I remember thinking that that couldn't be right. There must have been a mistake. Dad and Prim where at a puppet show."

I can feel all the emotions I have suppressed for so long coming to the fore. The first tear begins to prick at the corners of me eyes. Peeta holds onto my hand tightly letting me know he is listening and not going anywhere.

"The worst part was waking up the next day and thinking it was a dream. The crushing reality was almost too much to bear. I needed my mom at the moment but she was gone. Lost in her own grief. So I found Gale. And then Thom. And partying became my way to forget," I state.

A single tear runs down my cheek as I remember how helpless and lonely I felt at that time. I realise now I never came to terms with it.

"And then it became a way to get Mom to notice me. But it didn't matter. No matter how many times I came home drunk, or high or escorted by the police, she didn't blink. She didn't know how to cope with their death anymore than I did. It wasn't until I told her about being pregnant with Sage that she eventually snapped out of it and became the mother I so desperately needed at 14."

Peeta listens carefully the whole time and I can see in his eyes that it genuinely hurts him to see me in pain like this.

"Sage saved us both when we were drowning in grief," I say. And then I voice a fear I have been terrified about from the moment Sage was born. Something that I haven't ever dared voice out loud. "I'm just scared Sage is going to turn out like me. I'm not proud of how I acted and it would break my heart if she did half the shit I did."

Peeta is shaking his head vigorously and gets off his chair and comes over to kneel in front of me. He takes both of my hands and looks me straight in the eye.

"You can't worry about things that have not happened yet. Just because Sage is your daughter doesn't mean that her life is going to turn out just like yours. You are working hard to provide a stable environment for her so the chances of that happening are slim," he reassures.

"But she has my genes. Thom's genes. It's in her DNA to act out," I wail.

Peeta shakes his head again.

"I don't believe that. It back to nature versus nurture. Genetics doesn't define who you are," he states firmly.

I look down at him and smile. The tone of this date has drastically changed. Yet I can't regret sharing this with him. If this is going anywhere I can't hide from him. Peeta sees my distress and gets up to pull me into a tight hug. I crumble into his arms and let the tears fall for the family I lost. I feel that finally, after all these years and with Peeta to help me, I may be able to move on.

Peeta holds onto me tightly and rubs soothing circles on my back.

"Thank you for sharing that with me," he states.

I nod my head against his chest. He then pushes me back slightly so he can look at me.

"It doesn't matter what you did in the past. You've had to deal with a lot for someone so young but I am so proud of the person you are now. You are smart and funny and loyal. You are doing great at the bakery and making sure Sage has everything she needs. You are the best possible mother for her," he says sincerely.

I look back at him with tear strained eyes. His eyes are honest and genuine. I know he genuinely believes the words he is saying. I smile at him gratefully. His words mean a lot to me. It so good to know that someone believes in me.

I snuggle back into him, not wanting to lose his warmth. This man cares about me. Cares about Sage. I already know there isn't much he wouldn't do for us. For the millionth time since Christmas Eve I wonder what I did to deserve a man this good. He returns the embrace readily and for the first time in a long time I think things may turn out alright.

* * *

The rest of the date touches upon happier ground as we talk about Sage and the latest Tributes concert. As Peeta pulls up outside my house and walks me to my door I realise I don't want this night to end. I love spending time with this man. We both stop at my door and Peeta stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"I hope I didn't spoil things with my outburst at the restaurant," I say.

Peeta smiles and shakes his head.

"I'm glad you told me," he states.

A silence falls between us and I can feel the electricity in the air. Part of me screams to invite him inside to spend the night but I know that it is not a good idea. I don't want to rush things with him. We have plenty of time.

"You're amazing," Peeta says softly as he takes a step towards me. "I don't think I tell you enough."

I just look back at him and he pulls me up for a deep kiss.

The kiss is electric and reaches down from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. His strong hands lock my head in place and I am powerless to do anything other than respond. He pokes his tongue out to lick my bottom lip and I open my mouth eagerly so allow him to explore every inch of my mouth. Our tongues dance together as I grip onto him tightly. I want to be consumed by this man.

Eventually the kiss slows and he ends it with a soft peck. I look back up at him breathless and my lips plump. I have never been kissed like that before.

"Goodnight Katniss," he says softly, giving me one last soft kiss and then turning to go back to his car.

I watch him in a daze as he gets into his car and drives off.

Our relationship shifted again tonight. I feel closer to him somehow. I opened up to him and he listened.

* * *

**A/N: I didn't quite expect the date to get quite so heavy as it did in the end but I felt it is important that Katniss begins coming to terms with her dad and Prim's death. Luckily for her Peeta was there to listen!**

**Thanks again to everyone who continues to support the story. I love hearing your thoughts.**


	10. Chapter 10: February

Chapter 10

_February_

I giggle as Peeta pulls into my drive way and parks his car. He has spent the entire journey back from the bakery amusing me with his various and bad impressions of the music artists on the radio. He picked a station that played a lot of that chart bullshit and he was killing me with his moody stares and silly hair flicks that seem to be a preference of the teen aged singing sensation Gloss Diamond.

We both hop out the car and Peeta immediately pulls me close into his side as we take the few steps to my door. The bitter winter air has still not broken and I enjoy the heat his body gives me. I realise that I have come to associate warmth with him; a feeling of safeness and contentment.

"Clearly I've been spending too much time with Delly. I knew all the words to that Gloss Diamond's song," Peeta says as we walk up the steps.

I turn to look up at him and give him a smile.

"You blame Delly a lot for your bad music taste. I think you are just using her to cover your real feelings," I tease.

"You got me. His hit the Star Crossed Lovers is my number one favourite tune!" Peeta declares with a grin.

I chuckle lightly as I search my purse for my keys. Just as I catch sight of the small key chain that holds Sage's picture Peeta grabs my wrist, spins me round and pulls me up for a deep kiss. My mouth opens at its own accord to allow his tongue access and he begins to worry my bottom lip with his teeth. His hands wind themselves into my hair, locking me in place as he lavishes me with hot and sensual kisses. As always my body tingles from the effect.

Eventually he releases me and smoothes back the hair that he has to carelessly tangled.

"Sorry," he states. "I just had to give you a proper kiss before we go in to Sage."

I can see all the care and longing he has for me in the look he gives me as he continues to stroke the hair off my face. I take a step closer to him and tip my head up.

"Never apologise for kissing me," I state softly before I stand up on my tip toes to give him a lingering kiss.

He is smiling again as I step back down and turn the key in the lock to pull him inside.

We find Mom and Sage in the living room as Sage enjoys filling containers with her blocks before tipping the entire contents onto the floor. Mom smiles warmly, if not a bit tiredly, as we enter and I scoop down to greet Sage.

"Did you make all this mess?" I ask Sage as I bend down to pick her up.

As if to prove my point, Sage tips the container she is holding and the multi-coloured blocks go tumbling to the ground and only narrowly miss my foot.

"You definitely get that from your Daddy," I reply wriggling her nose. "He didn't understand the purpose of drawers or cupboards either."

Sage flaps her arms at the ground desperate to pick up the container and start all over again. I shake my head at her before lowering us both to the ground so she can reach the box. Her face lights up as she grabs hold of the container and resumes her game. It's good to know blocks are more interesting than the mother she hasn't seen all day.

I sigh as I watch her eagerly clatter the blocks into the container. I suppose every parent has to come to terms with the fact their child doesn't need them every moment of the day. Sage is perfectly fine when I am not around. I wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. On this display it would suggest not.

In a way I should be glad that she doesn't miss me when I am at work. I would hate to think of her crying and hurting because I am not there. But on the other hand part of me wants an excuse to stay home and look after her. She is growing every single day, constantly learning new things and I am terrified one day I am going to miss some of the important milestones in her life.

My mother has gotten off her chair to greet Peeta and he hands her a box of freshly baked Mellark muffins. Mom smiles gratefully at him as she takes them.

"You have made me the most popular employee at the care home. Every week the staff eagerly await to see what you have baked them," Mom says as he puts the box down next to her bag.

Ever since Peeta and I began dating he has kept us in and dated with various baked goods. Mom took some cookies into work one day and the whole staff have been raving about the Mellark's baked goods ever since. Peeta often keeps something aside so that Mom can satisfy the ravenous members of the care home staff.

"Well I can't take the credit for these. Castor made them," Peeta replies. "With all the transition involved for me taking over the business I am not getting as much time as I would like in the kitchen."

Mom nods her head sympathetically as she pulls on her coat in preparation to go to work.

"Can't believe Wheaton is retiring. He was always glued to the bakery when we were at school. It won't be the same without him," Mom states.

"Not even with a younger, better looking boss?" Peeta replies with a cheeky grin.

Mom chuckles.

"Well when you put it that way…" My mom laughs as she heaves her heavy bag up onto her shoulder.

"You'll do a great job I'm sure," Mom says more seriously. "But right now I really need to get to work. Goodnight Sage. Keep your Mommy and Peeta in line."

I scowl at my mom as she bends down to give Sage a kiss. Sage's attention is momentarily taken away from the blocks and container as she watches Mom nod a goodbye to Peeta and me and then walk out the door. She stares at the door for a few minutes after Mom has left before the pull of her game is too much and she is back banging blocks and making a mess.

Peeta smiles happily as he joins us both on the floor and watches Sage continue to amuse herself.

"So this is what you have been up to today, Little Miss," Peeta says as he hands her a yellow plastic block.

Sage eagerly grabs it off him and bangs it loudly against the box.

"No Sage. Too noisy," I scold carefully taking the block off her and demonstrating how to put it in the box gently.

No is becoming a much more frequent word in my vocabulary with her at the moment. She's just becoming a little monkey as she learns to explore the world around her.

Peeta picks up another block and carefully adds it to the container.

"Let's see how many blocks we can get in here," Peeta suggests as he begins filling the box up.

Sage watches him for a few moments before realising what he means and begins helping him add to the pile. Peeta is patient with her as she rushes to throw the blocks in and stops her if she gets a bit too enthusiastic. Eventually I join in too as I hand Sage the blocks she cannot reach.

We make quite a little team and the container is soon brimming with different brightly coloured blocks.

It makes me extremely happy at how comfortable Peeta and Sage are around each other. It shouldn't be a surprise. Even before we were dating Peeta was always good with Sage and Sage has always loved Peeta. I'm glad this has not changed.

In the seven weeks we have been dating Peeta has become an increasingly regular presence in our house. As I have Sage we often can't find a babysitter to allows us to go out and we have had to spend many of our days together in the house with her. Peeta doesn't complain though and is constantly reassuring me that he loves spending time with both of us. It is now odd if he doesn't come round 4 or 5 nights a week. He has just slotted so seamlessly into our routine.

I still can't quite believe we are here. My insecurities of not being good enough for him still plague me. With all the shit that has gone down in my life it is quite hard to believe that something good is actually happening to me.

The truth is I have never been happier. Peeta is just so good. So kind. And funny. And boy can he kiss. We've kept that part of our relationship very PG-thirteen so far. After everything that happened with Thom I don't think I am ready for that kind of relationship yet. Not that I don't think about it. His kisses are enough to spark my curiosity about what he could do to the other parts of my body.

But we are in no rush. Peeta has taught me it is okay to take our time and really get to know one another before anything else. He's become my best friend and that is more important than any sexual relationship we may have.

There is one last block left and I pick it up and hold it high above Sage's head for her to reach up to. She wiggles about impatiently as I constantly move the block close to her face before then yanking it up high in the air. Peeta watches on with an amused look.

"I don't think your mommy is playing fair," he says bending down to look at Sage.

Sage looks up at him and then her eyes widen with excitement as she spies another block that has somehow landed on the couch. She puts her pudgy hands on the edge of the couch and somewhat unsteadily pushes herself up so she is standing, braced against the couch, and reaches for the block.

Both Peeta and I look at each other with awed surprise and excitement. My little girl has just stood for the first time.

Sage picks up the block, completely oblivious to the adults delight around her and carefully plops the block in the container.

I can't hide my excitement any longer and twist her around so she is looking at me.

"You're standing Sage! You did it all yourself, you clever girl!" I exclaim picking her up and showering her with kisses.

Peeta has moved closer to us and strokes the top of Sage's head so she turns round and looks at him.

"That was amazing Sage! Mommy and I are so proud of you!" Peeta exclaims too.

I am a little taken back by his comment. The use of the phrase "Mommy and I" sounds so much like something a husband and father would say to his child. The phrase gives me warm butterflies inside. I pull Sage close and kiss the top of her head as Peeta continues to make a fuss over her.

His enthusiasm over Sage may surprise me a little, he is under no obligation to do so, but I am glad all the same. These last 9 months have been lonely as I have essentially raised Sage myself. I have been desperate to have someone to share all these amazing things she is doing. Maybe now with Peeta I have found that.

Sage looks at us both with an expression that says "So I stood? So what?" This just makes me smile more and I continue to kiss and cuddle her and tell how amazing she is. Peeta looks at me in disbelief and then with a look that says "How's she growing so fast?" I shrug my shoulders in response and Sage finally decides she has had enough of our fussing and squirms out my grip to tip over the container filled with blocks. The blocks all come crashing out, sprawling across the floor and the moment is gone.

* * *

After dinner Peeta stretches himself out on the coach with Sage in his lap as he tries to lull her to sleep. However Sage is being fussy and refusing to settle. I pick up the guitar Peeta gave me and begin strumming the chords of one of The Tributes songs. Music has always proved a successful soother for Sage in the past.

After a few cords I start singing softly the lyrics of the song. At the sound of my voice I can see Sage visibly calm and soon after her lids begin to droop. Peeta begins to rock her slightly as my voice fills the room. By the time I get to the end of the song Sage is sleeping soundly and Peeta is looking at me with a content smile.

"The Tributes are hardly the most traditional bedtime songs," he says with a smirk.

I smile back at him as I put down the guitar and make my way over to sit next to him. He moves his legs out the way so I can sit down and I gently brush the hair out of Sage's sleeping face.

"Got to start on them young. I don't want her listening to all that chart music when she is older," I say still loving stroking her hair.

Peeta smiles and nods as he continues to rock Sage gently.

"I love hearing you sing," he states softly.

I break my gaze on Sage to look at him.

"I like singing," I reply simply.

Peeta pauses, thoughtful for a moment, before speaking again.

"Do you ever think about pursuing it further?" he asks.

I let out a disbelieving laugh.

"Yeah, because that would be easy with a baby," I snort.

"I don't necessarily mean as a professional singer. It's just you're so good I can't imagine you not doing something that involved music. Whether it be a teacher, a music therapist or something," he continues. "I mean before you had Sage, what did you want to do?"

I pause before answering. The truth is before I had Sage I had not given any thought about what I wanted to do with my life. After Dad and Prim died I just didn't see the point. Jobs only got in the way of the partying. Though before that I guess I had a vague idea.

"Before Dad died, I guess I thought about becoming a music teacher. Prim had no musical talent but I was determined to teach her. Dad always said that anyone with that much patience and determination should become a teacher. I had Prim playing chopsticks on the piano by the end. I guess the idea kind of stuck," I say.

Peeta looks excited at my answer and sits up straighter on the couch still holding Sage close.

"You'd be an amazing teacher. I see how you are with Sage. You don't realise how good you have been at teaching her. I think it definitely something you should consider doing if you are still interested in it," he says excitedly.

"Aren't you forgetting I have a baby? You need a degree to teach music. How am I supposed to get that when I have Sage to look after and bills to pay?" I reply.

"You could go part time, or online, or I don't know! I'll help you figure it out. But don't use Sage as an excuse to not try. She is the exact reason you should be doing it. As much as I love you working at the bakery I know it's not what you want to do for the rest of your life. Don't you want to be a good role model for Sage and show her what a good thing it is to have a job that you really love?"

I ponder his words as I look down at my daughter snoring softly. I want what is best for her. I want her to be proud of her mom. Peeta's right. I don't want to be one of those moms that are stuck in a dead end job that they end up despising. The bakery is fine for now but I don't want to be there forever.

And now that Peeta has brought it up I realise that music teaching still appeals to me. Even though Prim frustrated me with her lack of improvement I was proud as punch the day she played that silly song. I want to have that feeling again. The pride at knowing you have imparted even a little bit of wisdom.

"I'll think about it," I eventually say and then take Sage out of Peeta's arms so I can put her to bed. Peeta nods and smiles at me before following me through to Sage's room. Could I really handle a degree, job and a baby?

* * *

That weekend I stand in front of the mirror putting the finishing touches to my hair. It's is Rue 21st birthday and she has invited Delly, Madge and I all out to celebrate. Peeta sits behind me on my bed as he performs a silly puppet show for Sage. Sage laughs and squeals as he puts on lots of different voices and waves a variety of her stuffed toys in the air.

I am leaving him with Sage for the first time tonight. He had looked after her in the bakery that one time but I was only a few feet away. I have seen how good he is with her but I still always get nervous leaving her with someone new for the first time.

"I think you have more fun with these puppet shows that Sage does," I state as I turn round to look at them both.

"Didn't I tell you I only date you so I can act silly with your daughter?" Peeta says with a grin.

I chuckle lightly and begin gathering the items for my purse.

"Did you look at those college brochures I got you?" Peeta asks next.

I sigh. Ever since he brought it up a couple of nights ago Peeta has been determined to get me into college. I'm glad he cares enough about me to support me through this but I am still struggling to get my head around it. I had a quick look at some of the brochures and realised that if I managed my time correctly I could go to community college and pick up some of the credits I would need to teach music. There are even some grants for single moms like myself that would help with the finances. I know it is the best thing for me and therefore Sage but I don't know if I am ready for school again. Things are good at the moment and I don't know if I have the motivation to add extra stress in my life.

"I flicked through them," I reply as I walk over to him and place a loving hand on his cheek. "Thank you so much for doing that for me and I am seriously considering it. Just give me time to work things out."

Peeta nods his head.

"You know I'd do anything for you. I only want the best for you," he replies.

"I know," I reply with smile and I bend down to give him a soft kiss.

Sage bangs the bed to get our attention back, impatient for Peeta's puppet show to resume.

"Just give Mommy and Peeta a minute munchkin," I say stroking her hair to calm her down. "You have all night to play puppet shows with Peeta."

Sage pouts a little but stops banging her hand about.

"Are you sure you will be fine with her this evening?" I ask Peeta twiddling the strap of my purse nervously.

Peeta stands up to get off the bed and takes my head in his hands.

"Stop worrying. I love spending time with Sage. You are only a phone call away if I really need you," he says reassuringly as he strokes the hair back behind my ears.

I look up into his serious blue eyes and realise that I trust him completely to look after my daughter. I know he cares about her a great deal.

"Okay. I will. Have fun with her tonight. And don't hesitate to call me if anything happens," I state firmly.

Peeta just smiles and leans in closer to me.

"It won't Katniss," he says and he gently presses his lips to mine.

I want to deepen the kiss but know with my daughter in the room it would be a little inappropriate.

"Go have fun," Peeta says as he releases me.

I nod my head in response, turning my attention back to my daughter and going back over to give her a kiss goodbye. I pick up my jacket and, after saying goodbye to Peeta too, go and meet the girls.

* * *

Rue managed to get me into a cosy bar in the city centre. The place is reasonably busy but not too busy so that you feel like everyone is crammed against the wall. I like that the place isn't too fancy and the drinks are reasonably priced. Both Madge and Delly had enthusiastically ordered us all a round of margarita's the moment we stepped through the door.

I haven't really drunk much since Sage was born, just a glass of wine every now and again with Peeta, so I know I have to pace myself. I can't be hung over with a baby.

"I say we make a toast!" Delly declares. Madge rolls her eyes. "We've only known you for a short while Rue but I feel like we've been friends for years…"

"Jesus Delly. Does everything you say have to be overly sentimental?" Madge cuts in.

Delly turns to scowl at her childhood friend.

"As I was saying. You've become a really good friend Rue. And we will always love you for beating Thresh at an arm wrestling competition!" Delly concludes.

"Hell yeah!" Rue shouts as she flexes her arm muscles. "It's all in the technique!"

We all burst into a round of laughter as we remember how pissed Thresh was after is unsuccessfully challenged Rue to an arm wrestle. Turns out Rue is deceptively strong.

"In all seriousness guys," Rue then adds. "Most of my friends didn't want anything to do with me when they found out I was pregnant with Chase. It really means a lot that you are here for me."

We all share smile. Rue catches my eye and gives me a grateful smile. I, more than anyone, know how she feels. Madge and Delly may be our friends but they can't fully understand what we go through every day. Life is a lot more complicated when you have a baby. I know I would go crazy if I didn't have Rue in my life.

"So Katniss. Have you slept with Peeta yet? I've heard he's pretty hot in bed," Madge states bluntly and breaking the moment we all just shared.

I blush and look away.

"Madge!" Delly exclaims. "We agreed we'd be subtle about it!"

Madge rolls her eyes.

"Delly you can't do subtlety. Might as well get the question out there," Madge replies.

Delly tries to look offended and let's out a big huff. Rue just smirks at me.

"Well?" Rue asks. "If I was dating that I would have given it up a long time ago."

I narrow my eyes at her. I know she is only joking but it still doesn't mean I like hearing her talk about my boyfriend like that.

"We're taking things slow," I reply. "I don't want to repeat the mistakes I made with Thom."

"That makes sense," Madge nods in understanding. "Just promise you will tell us all about it when you do. He has always been annoyingly coy about his sex life in the past."

I grin and nod my head. It's nice to know I have girlfriends I can talk about these things with.

Rue finishes her drink and declares that she is buying another round. She hops off her stool and we turn to talk about Delly's latest idea for a job prospect.

The night is relaxing and entertaining. No one is out to get ridiculously drunk like most other 21st birthdays and I for one am grateful for the hangover free day I will have tomorrow.

At some point in the evening Delly had spotted some hot, Abercrombie and Fitch looking model and has been begging someone to go over there with her and be her wing woman ever since.

"Please Madge!" she begs. "I'll buy you those chocolate crispy things you love so much."

"Fine," Madge concedes after 15 minutes of whining. "I'll give you 15 minutes before I am ducking out."

Delly's face breaks into a big grin and she throws her arms around Madge.

"Thank you! I'll do the same for you if you ever ask!" she squeals.

Madge sighs and reluctantly gets off her stool.

"Come on. Let's go meet your future husband," Madge replies.

Delly nods her head eagerly and the pair of them head off in the direction of the good looking guy and his friend.

Rue and I smile and shake our heads at them.

"How I miss just going up to guys and asking for their number," Rue laments.

I give her a sympathetic smile.

"They don't realise how great they have it," Rue adds tipping her head towards Delly and Madge.

I frown a little at her comment.

"Don't get me wrong. I love Chase but I miss those parts of my life. I just wished I had him a few years later," Rue explains.

I nod my head finally understanding.

"I know what you mean. Peeta has been on at me about college. I know it'd be a good thing for me but it's just so daunting to think about doing it with a baby. I saw how much you struggled with it. I don't know if I need the extra stress. Everything would be so much easier if I had done college first and then the baby. At times I feel like I am constantly fighting to just get by and prove I am a suitable enough mother for Sage."

Rue nods her head.

"You're lucky that you have got Peeta. To have that support system. I'd kill to have someone care and look out for me as much as he does," she replies.

Another nod from me.

"I'm just so worried he's going to leave me," I state. "I mean he is Mr Perfect. He was the golden child of Panem. Colleges fought to get him, star of the football team, perfect grades, excellent job. Not to mention he is kind and caring and generally good hearted. He could have the most beautiful, successful and fun girlfriend in the world and instead he is stuck with me."

Rue reaches out to give my forearm a reassuring squeeze.

"He's not stuck with you. He _chose you_," she states firmly. "You should see the way he looks at you when you aren't looking. He absolutely adores you. And Sage. You don't know how lucky you are. Every guy I have talked to pisses off as soon as I mention Chase. Peeta would never do that to you. He cares for you even more because of Sage."

"Really?" I ask unbelievingly.

Rue smiles and nods her head.

"He will never leave you willingly," she confirms.

I grip her hand gratefully. Her words alleviate a lot of my fears. It's always good to hear an outsider's perspective. I know Peeta is a good guy. It's just I have lost people in the past and I don't think I could handle losing another person close to me.

"Thank you," I say.

Rue smiles again before we are interrupted by Madge.

"Well Delly has got that guy suitably charmed. Too jock like for my liking but at least my job is done. His friend had to be the most boring man on the planet. All he could talk about was the different protein shakes he drinks."

Both Rue and I chuckle lightly. I turn to look over at Delly and sure enough find her giggly and flirty with the good looking guy. She lightly touches his arm after he says something particularly funny and I shake my head at her display. I'm glad I don't have to do the flirting thing any longer.

Madge looks at her cell phone and a small smile appears on her lips.

"What's got you smiling?" Rue asks raising an eyebrow.

Madge continues to smile as she tucks her phone back in her purse.

"Sorry ladies. I've got another place to be," she states coyly.

"That's all we're getting?" I demand.

Rue narrows her eyes at Madge.

"Is that your booty call you told me about? The guy with the motorbike that drove you out to the woods to fuck you against a tree?" Rue questions.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. I am quickly realising that Madge Undersee is not the polite little Mayor's daughter that she often portrays.

"Booty call?" I question.

Madge shrugs her shoulders.

"I met him in the grocery store. He's a good fuck. What can I say? I need one at the moment," she states. "Tell Delly I left. Happy Birthday Rue. We'll speak soon."

Rue and I get up to hug her goodbye and she leaves soon after typing furiously into her cell.

"What would you know? Madge is the biggest slut out of all of us," Rue declares.

I chuckle in response and we go back to our drinks.

* * *

We leave the bar shortly before midnight. Rue needs to get back to her babysitter. The cab drops me off at my front door and I turn the keys in the lock, careful to not wake anyone sleeping inside.

I head to Sage's room first and am relieved to find her sleeping peacefully in her crib with the giraffe Peeta gave her tucked firmly in her arms. I spend a few minutes watching her lovingly as she sleeps before bending down to give her a light kiss and making my way to my own room.

Peeta is in my bed sound asleep when I enter. He too has one of Sage's stuffed toys tucked under his arm. An amused smile appears on my face as I quietly get ready for bed. I slip under the covers and wrap my arms around Peeta's warm torso. He stirs as I do so and opens his eyes sleepily to look at me.

"You're home," he states sleepily.

I nod my head and he pulls me closer to his chest.

"Did you have a good night?" he asks with a yawn.

"I did," I state softly. "But I missed you."

"I missed you too," he replies with a tired smile.

"I'm tired now though. Let's just go to sleep," I reply.

Peeta nods his head tiredly and I snuggle in closer to him. I can tell by his shallow breaths that he has already fallen back to sleep. I look up to admire his sleeping form before closing my eyes and joining him in a peaceful slumber.

* * *

**A/N: This is a bit of a filler chapter before the drama returns in the next chapter. Next up we have Katniss meeting all the Mellarks.**

**As always thank you to everyone who follows/favourites/reviews this story. Your support is much appreciated.**


	11. Chapter 11: March

Chapter 11

_March_

I pick Sage up to inspect the floral dress and headband that I have put her in. I let out a sigh in frustration. The outfit is still not right. I plonk her back down on her changing table as I begin to undress her again. Sage finds the whole thing rather amusing and laughs at me as I frantically search for a suitable outfit.

"That is the third outfit you have put her in," Peeta says as he comes up behind me. "She's just a baby. No one cares what she wears."

"Your mother already thinks I am a useless mother. I don't want to give her any more ammunition just because I can't dress my daughter properly," I reply frustrated.

"I told her she has to be nice to you today," Peeta replies.

I scoff as I continue to search through Sage's baby clothes. Peeta grips the tops of my arms and spins me round, forcing me to look at him.

"I won't let her insult you. Dad has even had a word with her. If you go in expecting to be wound up it will only make it easier for her to do so," he states seriously.

I hang my head forward knowing he is right. I repeat the mantra in my head that I won't let her words get to me.

"And besides, this day is all about Bran. Mom has been desperate for one of us to get married from the moment we all turned 18," Peeta adds a bit more light hearted.

I nod my head in agreement. Hopefully the news of Bran's recent engagement will distract her from the fact her perfect son is dating a teen mom.

Bran is Peeta's eldest brother and a doctor who works in the city hosipial. He recently got engaged to his long term girlfriend, Lavinia, and Mrs Mellark insisted that she threw a family brunch so everyone can celebrate this delightful announcement. Glimmer is making a special trip back from Princeton to attend and even Rye, Peeta's other brother, has been forced to take time off from his job in Chicago to participate.

When Peeta first broached the subject of Sage and I joining his family, I had balked at the idea. Mrs Mellark may not come to the bakery any more but that doesn't mean she hates me any less. And I quite like having Glimmer out of sight and out of mind at Princeton.

But Peeta is desperate for me to go. He says that since his mom had invited Glimmer's new boyfriend and anyone Rye might be seeing, she can't protest to him bringing Sage and I. Apparently his dad has wanted to meet me properly for a while now and I can tell he is desperate to introduce me to his whole family.

So after a few of days of thinking I consented to go to the bloody thing.

However now that the day is finally here I am seriously regretting my decision and am pondering whether I can feign sickness to get out of it.

"Let me dress Sage," Peeta says putting his hand over mine to stop my frantic search. "That way if Mom complains you can blame it all on me."

I feel my lips tug in an upward movement at his comment. He always knows exactly what to say to calm me down.

I step away from the clothes and take a seat on a nearby chair, removing one of Sage's many stuffed animals as I go to sit down. Peeta searches for a minute before settling on a sunset orange dress that I had dismissed earlier for being too bright and taking it over to Sage to get her changed.

"I think your mommy is being a little silly," Peeta coos as he tickles Sage's feet. "You are going to look so adorable that I think my dad is going to want to wrap you up and steal you away!"

Sage giggles and kicks out her feet as he makes a big show of dressing her. It takes him twice as long as when I do it but the sheer delight on my daughter's face as tickles her belly and blows raspberries on her cheek makes it totally worth it.

Eventually Peeta gets Sage in all her clothes and picks her up ready to take her to the car.

"Ready to charm the rest of my family?" Peeta asks her as he smoothes down her hair.

Sage gives him a toothy grin before reaching out and playing with the collar of his shirt. Peeta chuckles and I smile as I get up to join them, picking my purse up as I do so.

"Come on," I urge. "Let's go and feed me to the wolves."

I reach out to stroke the top of Sage's head but she is too preoccupied with Peeta's collar to notice. Peeta gives me a reassuring smile.

"I know Glimmer and my mom don't paint us Mellark's in a very good light but trust me, the Mellark men are a lot more laid back," he replies.

"Your brothers weren't exactly ecstatic when you first asked me out," I mumble playing with the strap of my purse.

"That was before they saw how happy I am. They both know that my recent happiness is because of you and Sage and they both already like you as a result. They are both eager to meet you," Peeta replies.

I nod my head, desperately trying to believe him before picking up my keys and heading towards the door.

* * *

I spend the whole drive over to his parent's house fussing over Sage to distract myself from the nerves that continue to build the closer we get to the Merchant side of town. As we drive past gated community after gated community I can't help but think how I don't belong here. Everything this side of town is so shiny and polished. I feel dirty and dark in comparison.

Even the notion of brunch is foreign to me. People in Seam don't even dream of wasting money on something that doesn't even know if it is breakfast or lunch. I have no idea how to handle this situation.

Peeta senses my apprehension and reaches across to give my hand a reassuring squeeze. One look into his clear blue eyes and I remember why I am doing this.

I haven't had the courage to tell him yet, the fear of rejection is too great, but I've admitted to myself that I have fallen in love with him. I will do anything to make him happy. Even enduring his mother and sister for a couple hours during the day.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment I realised I was in love with him. Maybe at some point when he was round playing with Sage, or made me laugh so much that juice squirted out my nose. All I know is that I have been falling for him for a while.

Never have I had a person that makes me feel so special and cared for. He knows my flaws and baggage but sees past them enough to stick around. He is not afraid to tell me I am being too hard on myself or to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and just get on with my life.

He makes me laugh. I find everything he says interesting and insightful. He's great with Sage.

All this adds up to me being completely in love with him.

I just don't think I can tell him.

We pull up outside his parent's house with its immaculate lawn and beautifully blossomed cherry trees. Peeta gives my hand another squeeze before getting out the car to help unbuckle Sage.

I pick Sage out of her car seat and her eyes go wide as she sees the pink blossoms on the trees. In the last month or so I have noticed her fascination for plants and birds whenever I take her to the park. It is becoming clear that my daughter is going to share my love for the outdoors. Her eyes follow the pink flowers as we make our way up the paved path and to the front door. Peeta rings the doorbell and I bounce Sage up and down to try and get rid of some of my nervous energy.

The door is opened a few moments later and we are greeted by a slightly round and greying middle aged man who I know to be Peeta's father. He smiles brightly at us as he opens the door and I can't help but notice that his eyes sparkle the same way Peeta's do when he grins.

This sight instantly makes me relax and I think that maybe Peeta was right after all. His dad won't be a problem.

I have met Mr Mellark a couple of times during my shifts at the bakery. He is always cheerful when he enters and makes a big effort to come round and speak with all the staff to ask for updates in their lives. For some reason I thought that now I am dating his son that sunny disposition would disappear.

"Peeta! Glad you could make it son!" Mr Mellark exclaims as Peeta smiles back at him and the two men share a warm embrace.

"Like I would miss this. We all thought Bran would never get the balls to propose to Lavinia and she would have to get down on one knee and do it herself!" Peeta exclaims with a genuine smile on his face.

Mr Mellark chuckles before looking over Peeta's shoulder towards Sage and I. I rearrange Sage on my hip as I prepare myself for the welcome I will get.

"Good to see you again Katniss. Though I have to say you do look lovely out of our Mellark polos," Mr Mellark says with a warm smile. "But who is this little cutie here? Are you the little girl that has got my son so completely charmed?"

Mr Mellark takes a step towards us and bends down so he can look Sage in the eye. Sage eyes him warily as he looks at her and burrows her head slightly into my chest a little shy. She doesn't meet many new people so it can take her a while to warm up to them when she does.

"My son says you like being tickled. Right under the chin?" Peeta's dad continues.

He then lightly places his hands underneath Sage's chin and begins gently tickling her. I know this is her most ticklish spot and it doesn't take long before she is squealing and squirming in delight. It seems that the Mellark men know exactly how to charm my daughter.

After a moment Mr Mellark straightens up and holds his hands out.

"May I?" he asks. "It's been a while since I've had a chance to hold a baby. My children don't seem to be in any rush to give me grandchildren."

He looks over at Peeta with a pointed look. Peeta looks a bit embarrassed and a pink flush rises in his cheeks. I smirk slightly at his obvious discomfort. So little normally fazes him.

"Let's get us all in long term relationships before you go about demanding grandchildren," Peeta replies.

His dad smiles at him as I nod my head and pass Sage to him. He pulls a silly face as he gathers Sage in his arms.

"You know I am only teasing," he states. "I just can't wait to have a little grandchild I can spoil rotten. The first one is probably going to be my favourite. So you better get a move on if that child is going to be yours."

Peeta blush goes even deeper. I let out a small snicker over the uncomfortable situation Peeta finds himself in.

However I decide to be a dutiful girlfriend by helping him out by changing the topic.

"Thank you for inviting me. It's nice to properly meet you," I say to Mr Mellark.

He draws his eyes away from Sage to look at me when he responds.

"It's my pleasure. I feel like I know so much about you already. Peeta won't stop talking about you and this little one," he replies sincerely.

I smile back gratefully at him. I catch Peeta's eyes and give him a small smile to let him know that I appreciate his dad's warm comments. He smiles back at me a little relieved.

"I brought you some wine. Peeta says you like red," I say taking the bottle out of my purse.

Mr Mellark eyes the label as I present it to him, still bouncing Sage up and down in one arm.

"Thank you. You can't go wrong with a Merlot," he states.

"I bet it's only a year old. Everyone knows wine gets better with age," a cold voice cuts through the hall way.

Everyone's head snap towards the person who has just entered the room. Her blonde hair is scrapped back into a fierce bun and her string of pearls shine brightly in the naturally lit room. The mood instantly sours as Peeta gives his mother a terse look and Mr Mellark frowns at his wife. Sage senses this change in atmosphere and immediately goes quiet as she searches for me for comfort.

"A bottle of red never goes undrunk in this house," Mr Mellark says trying to appease the situation.

Mrs Mellark just glares back at her husband.

Peeta then decides to step in and introduce me.

"Mom, you've met Katniss, but this is her daughter Sage," Peeta says walking over and taking Sage off his dad.

"I'm well aware whose child this is," Mrs Mellark states sternly, her icy gaze fixed on me. "Get through to the living room. You are the last to arrive. You've kept everyone waiting."

Mr Mellark looks at Peeta and I sympathetically before following his wife through to the living room. Peeta comes up to me, still holding Sage, to give me another reassuring nudge.

"Just focus on my dad and brothers. I promise they will be a lot more welcoming," he reassures.

I nod my head and then take a deep breath as I prepare myself for whatever comes next.

I won't let her get to me.

* * *

As Peeta's mother had so kindly informed us, the rest of the Mellark family is already sitting in the living room waiting for us. Glimmer sits close to her mother in a very revealing pink dress that I would have thought is more appropriate for a night club than a family brunch. Mr Mellark has taken a seat next to who I can only assume is Peeta's eldest brother Bran. Bran is broader than Peeta and his hair is cut much shorter but his blue eyes match that of his father and youngest brother.

Next to him sits a pretty redhead with ruby lips and beautiful porcelain skin. She has a glowing smile on her face and a sparkling diamond on her left hand meaning she can only be Bran's new fiancée Lavinia. That leaves Rye, the only other person in the room, standing by the drinks cabinet pouring himself a scotch. He is leaner than his two brothers, though still strong, and he has a cheeky glint in his eye that suggests he is often up to mischief.

I stand awkwardly in the doorway as Peeta makes his way into the room with Sage to greet his family. He stops when he reaches the edge of the family circle and smiles as he turns round to look at me.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet Katniss," he says with a proud smile. I still get butterflies whenever he looks at me like that.

I get warm smiles from both Bran and Lavinia and a cheeky smirk from Rye while both Glimmer and Mrs Mellark pretend they didn't hear.

"And this little monkey here is Sage," Peeta says turning his attention back to her and bouncing her on his hip. Sage lets out a gurgle in response.

At this moment Rye makes his way over to me and hands me a glass of what I think is a gin and tonic.

"I don't understand how my little bro gets all the pretty ones. That silver tongue of his must be good for other things than talking," he sates before taking a drink out of his own glass.

"Maybe he doesn't use cheap innuendoes to compensate for his total lack of talent at picking up women," I retort trying to join in with his teasing.

Rye raises an impressed eyebrow and chuckles.

"I like this one Peet. She's feisty," he states. "If you ever get bored of Mr Perfect over there, I'm Rye. The most good looking brother."

"I think I'm good," I state before making my way over to join Peeta and Sage.

"Can we please not have conversation like that in this house? Some of us have a bit more class than that," Mrs Mellark berates.

"They are only joking Evelyn," Mr Mellark tries to soothe her.

The angry glare she gives him back tells the whole room that his comment is not appreciated.

Once everyone is settled Peeta congratulates his brother and Lavinia and they begin telling us their plans for a fall wedding.

Bran is definitely the most serious brother. While Rye tries to make a joke out of everything that is said, Bran is a lot quieter and less likely to join in with the good natured teasing.

Lavinia is a bit chattier and asks a lot about Sage and my job at the bakery. She confides in me that she still finds Mrs Mellark intimidating and is dreading her interfering with the wedding for the next 6 months. It makes me feel better that even a girl that has a good a background as Lavinia is still scared of Mrs Mellark. Lavinia tells me she is grateful there is now someone else to share the burden of dating one of Mrs Mellark's sons. It relaxes me to know that I have an ally in these situations.

Sage is having a great time. Between Peeta and his dad she is never put down for a second. I discover where Peeta gets his natural ability with children. His dad is equally good at keeping my daughter entertained with silly faces and peek-a-boo games.

I manage to avoid Glimmer and Mrs Mellark for most of the pre brunch drinks. They both get very excited about Lavinia's colour scheme and what flowers look good in the fall. I have never been a girl who cares about flowers and things like that so it is easy for me to keep out of it.

After about an hour, the drinks part of the day ends and we go through for the brunch. As we get up to leave, Glimmer glides past me and whispers in my ear.

"Enjoying ruining my brother's life," she whispers harshly.

Her cold breath makes the hairs stand on the back of my neck but not in a good way. She glares at me as she moves past and I am momentarily locked to the spot. Some things will never change. Back in school I would have ripped the stupid hair extensions out of her head but now know that it is not the best thing to do in these situations. Instead I regain my composure and hold my head high as I make my way through to the dining room.

The table is filled with mountains of delicate pastries, steaming pancakes and juicy fruit. I recognise Mellark recipes instantly. My mouth begins to drool at the mere sight. Peeta places Sage into a high chair next to me and takes a seat opposite us both. Rye sits on my other side and, thankfully, Mrs Mellark and Glimmer are placed at the opposite end of the table.

Once everyone is seated we all tuck into the mouth watering display. I go about picking small chunks of food for Sage to pick at and try. She seems to like the strawberries and ends up getting her face covered in the sweet juices. Rye smirks at me as he takes in my daughter's appearance.

"Looks likes she has something in common with Peeta. Mom made him wear a bib until he was ten because he was so messy!" Rye exclaims.

"Only because I didn't like your hand me downs," Peeta retorts back without missing a beat.

Rye sits back in his chair.

"I had excellent style as a kid. I won Panem's Little Darling when I was in kindergarten," Rye replies,

"Yeah. And you allowed Mom to put make up on you," Peeta counters.

Bran and Lavinia chuckle while Rye and Peeta continue to stare each other down. I smirk at their display. I had forgotten what it was like to have that good natured sibling teasing. I miss that about Prim. Peeta is more stubborn than I give him credit for and Rye is the first to back down.

"Make up only enhances one's natural beauty. Some people aren't as lucky," Rye says as he breaks the staring contest.

Peeta chuckles slightly before they both go back to their plates.

Mid way through Bran brings up the new house he and Lavinia have just bought and how ridiculously high house prices are at the moment. I am too busy spooning Sage some natural yoghurt to really care about this conversation.

"You must see it too Peet. I bet it was quite a shock when you started looking for houses," Bran states.

"You're moving?" I ask snapping my attention away from Sage. He hasn't mentioned this to me.

Peeta looks away from Bran to answer my shocked look.

"I've just started looking. Rent is just such a waste of money and with my trust fund and job at the bakery I figured now was a good a time as any to buy my first house," he explains.

"You could have told me," I say a little annoyed that he kept this from me. I can almost see the happy smirk on his mom's face that he has been keeping secrets from me.

"I was going to once I had more of an idea of where I'm at. You'll be a big part of the decision of what I buy. I was thinking near District Park. It's reasonably central and the park is beautiful. It would make it easy to take Sage there," he says.

I soften towards him now. District Park isn't too far from where I live, but in the nice part of town. He's even considered Sage and I in his decision making. Not every guy would move close to a park just so he could take his girlfriend's daughter out.

I give him a small smile that shows there is nothing to apologise for and I can feel him nudge my foot under the table to say thanks. I ignore the sour look on his mom's face.

The conversation leaves me a bit distracted and as I turn round to feed Sage another mouthful I accidentally poke her in the eye with the spoon. She immediately begins howling and I drop the spoon with a clatter as I swoop down to soothe her.

"Mommy is so sorry!" I exclaim stoking her cheek. "Mommy didn't mean it. Let me kiss it better."

Sage continues to whimper as I bend down to give her kisses. She spies Peeta over my shoulder and sticks out her hands towards him. She makes some babbling noises that I assume means she is asking for him. Peeta is up in an instant and strides round to our side of the table to pick her up and calm her.

"Don't cry sweet pea," Peeta coos rocking her back and forth. "Mommy didn't mean to hurt you. She loves you very much."

Sage looks up at him and her cries quieten as he continues to speak soothingly in her ear.

The whole room has stopped eating to watch the scene play out. I am mortified. It doesn't look good when you poke your own baby in the eye.

"You look like such a dad Peet," Rye states as he watches Peeta cradle Sage close to his chest.

I freeze, unsure how Peeta will react to such a comment. He may help out a lot with Sage but I have never asked him to be her father. I will never expect that of him. Peeta however just smiles sweetly as he kisses the top of Sage's head. He makes no comment on the remark.

I can see the fury in Mrs Mellark's eyes as she watches the whole thing. I can tell she is desperate to put me in my place.

"Glimmer it's such a shame that your boyfriend couldn't make it down. I am dying to meet him," Mrs Mellark exclaims.

"Well he had an essay due in so he couldn't take the time off," Glimmer replies.

I'm a bit surprised that she has found herself a boyfriend that is capable of writing an essay.

"Yes school is very important. We all know that you can't have a proper career without a college degree. Lavinia, I know you went to Columbia. Remind me Katniss what college do you go to?" Mrs Mellark asks with fake innocence.

Peeta's jaw tenses from beside me.

"You know fine well that Katniss isn't in college at the moment Mom," he says through gritted teeth.

"Oh yes, that's right. They teach their kids in the Seam to get knocked up in high school so they can just claim on the benefits," she replies.

"Evelyn that is enough. Katniss is a guest here. Please do not make her feel uncomfortable" Mr Mellark warns.

Peeta gives his dad a thankful nod. I take a deep breath and count to ten in my head. Screaming at her is not going to make things better.

"I'm actually applying for community college, starting next fall semester," I reply determined for her not to make me feel bad

I'm trying my hardest to make a good life for Sage and I. I won't let her make me feel like a failure.

"Well I suppose there is no harm in trying," she says as she delicately places a small spoonful of yogurt in her mouth.

"I said that was enough Evelyn," Mr Mellark says more sternly than I have ever heard him speak before.

She just shrugs her shoulders and continues eating her yogurt.

* * *

The rest of the meal is tenser, even with Rye trying to lighten the mood with his crappy jokes. Mrs Mellark has ruined what had been a perfectly pleasant brunch.

As the plates are being cleared I smell that Sage clearly left something unpleasant in her diaper and inquire where the bathroom is so I can change her. The bathroom is immaculately decorated just like the rest of the house with rows of different flavoured soaps for you to try. I stare at it all in amazement. I sometimes forget how much money Peeta comes from. His childhood was so different from mine. It is a miracle that we find anything in common.

Once she is changed I pick her up and we make our way back through. As I walk up to the door of the living room I hear tense words coming from within the room.

"I can't believe you brought your bit of Seam trash and her little bastard to this brunch! This is not the place to bring your bit on the side. I've let you have your fun with her but it has gone on long enough. I think it's time to cast aside that bit of filth," Mrs Mellark rants.

I stop in my tracks and cover Sage's ears. She shouldn't have to hear this. I shouldn't have to hear it, but I find I can't move.

"You have to stop calling her such foul names mother or you may be one son down at these events in the future. When are you going to get it into your head that I am serious about this girl? This isn't some fling like Rye has. And even though it's none of your business we haven't even slept together yet. I really care about this girl and I intend to be with her as long as she will have me," Peeta stresses.

My heart flutters as I hear him defend me.

"You honestly think I am going to let you have that girl? She doesn't care for you. You are her meal ticket and nothing more. If you want the bakery you will have to get rid of her," his mom replies.

"You don't get it," Peeta states. "I love her. And she and Sage are my priority now."

My hand flies to my mouth in shock. He loves me? Did he just imply he would give up the bakery for me? I begin shaking my head furiously. I can't let him do that. I can't be the reason he becomes separated from his family. I can't let him give up something he has wanted to do his whole life.

So I do the only thing I can think of and run.

I quickly gather my things and rush out the door with Sage and without saying goodbye. Luckily there is a bus stop just round the corner and we hop on a bus reasonably quickly. Sage in confused at the haste that we leave and looks at me questioningly as I put her down on the bus. I spend the whole journey home pondering Peeta's declaration and what it all means.

* * *

Mom isn't home when I get in and I can see Sage's eyelids drooping after a long day. I make my way through to her nursery and put her down for her afternoon nap. I have barely sat down after making myself a cup of tea when there is a harsh ringing of the doorbell. I leave my tea to get up and answer the door. I open it to find a very confused and a little angry Peeta.

"Why did you just run off?" he demands not waiting for me to invite him in before he pushes past me.

"I heard what your mother was saying about me. How she won't let you have the bakery if you are still with me. I won't get in the way of you and your family," I state firmly.

Peeta lets out an exasperated sigh.

"I'm sorry you heard that. I honestly thought she would be better this time. I won't put you through that again," he apologises taking a step towards me.

I don't reply. That doesn't change anything. He still can't be with me. He can do so much better.

"Don't listen to my mom. She had no right to say that. Dad's in charge of the bakery and he put her straight about where it is going when he retires in a few months. The bakery is and will always be mine," he continues.

I still don't say anything. I am still causing a rift in his family. He doesn't need the extra stress.

"Did you at least hear what I said after? How I'm in love with you?" he asks now standing right in front of me. His hand goes up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

I nod my head.

"But how can you be? You are so much better than me. I don't deserve you," I say looking up into his blue eyes.

He smiles sweetly down at me and places both of his hands on either side of my head, locking me in place.

"I love you. I can't leave you. Please trust me," he states sincerely.

I realise that trust is something I find difficult to do. There was no trust with Thom. He has made me doubt all men and their actions. I realise that the scars from the way he treated me run deeper than I previously thought.

But Peeta is a completely different person to Thom. He has shown me time and time again that he is always there for me. I love him in a way that I never loved Thom. He has done everything in his power to earn my trust. So I have to do it. I have to trust him.

I nod my head in response to let him know I do trust him. I grip his wrists that still have a hold of my head to make sure he is still looking at me.

"I love you too," I reply.

The joy in Peeta's face is absolutely magical. I giggle at his dopey grin and nuzzle my nose against his hand. Peeta continues to smile at me stupidly before swooshing down and capturing my lips in a searing kiss.

I respond immediately as the fire he so often ignites in me begins to flare in full force. He pushes me up against the wall and I let my hands wander across his back and then underneath his shirt. I let my short finger nails scrap down his taut stomach and tangle in the fine hairs that lead down into his boxer briefs.

I hear him hiss as my fingers graze the top of his waistband.

"Katniss if you don't want this to go any further you are going to have to stop now. I won't be able to control myself much longer if you don't," Peeta groans as I continue to skim my fingers across his stomach.

I look up at him. I have thought about sex with him for so long now. He's ruined enough of my panties through just kissing me alone. It's just I've been scared to take that final step with him. Because I know it will mean so much more than when I was with Thom. I so rarely ever did it sober with him. I'm scared I don't know how to do it right without being inebriated.

I look up at him, his eyes black with desire, but the concern for me still shining through and know this is the right time. That I have to be with him now.

"Come to my room," I whisper in his ear as I walk past him, picking his hand up on the way and leading him through.

Peeta closes the door and we both stand staring at each other for a moment as we let the fact of what is going to happen sink in.

I make the first move as I make my way over to him and begin unbuttoning his shirt.

"We have to be quiet. Sage is asleep in the next room," I whisper.

Peeta nods his head lamely as he watches me unbutton his shirt and push it off his shoulders. My hands reach out to trace the contours of his sculpted chest. I knew he worked out, but the physical proof is a nice reward.

He grabs my wrist to stop my movements and I look up into his black eyes.

"Your turn," he states with authority.

I gulp and take a step back as I reach behind my back to get the zipper of my dress. I hesitate slightly as my fingers catch on the zip before yanking it down in a swift movement and letting the dress pool at me feet.

Peeta gazes at me in a hungry manner and instinctively I wrap my arms around my stomach to hide my stretch marks. Peeta however is quick to reach out to me and move my arms to the side. He then skims his hands up my arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their path and cups my cheek gently in his hands.

"You are so beautiful," he utters softly.

He is so sincere that I can wait no longer to feel his lips against mine so I spin him around and push him onto the bed. I pull his dress pants and shoes off before crawling on top of him and kissing him deeply.

I find I want to explore every inch of his body, from the spot just below his ears to the very tips of his toes. I begin my exploration of his body by nipping and sucking the sensitive skin around his neck and collarbone before making my way down his chest. I am rewarded with breathy groans and satisfied moans. I use his sounds to guide my movements spending particularly long times on the parts of his body that cause his hips to jerk and his voice to cry out.

Just as I about to venture to the area below his navel, I suddenly feel a tight grip on my wrist and find myself spun flat on my back. Peeta looks down at me with a satisfied smirk.

"My turn Miss Everdeen," he states with a wicked smile. "I've wanted you like for so long so let me take my time. First you need to remove this."

He pings the strap of my bra and I sit up slightly so he can move his hands around my back and snap the clasp open. He drops the red bra onto the ground beside us.

"Much better," he says as he hands move to cup me in his hands. He gently takes hold of me, giving my breasts a little squeeze that causes a shudder to go through my entire body. Peeta smiles at my body's response before he brings his lips down to kiss me slowly and sensually.

It's not long before he has removed his lips from my own so they can begin mapping the course of my body. He kisses up my neck and along my collar bone while gently squeezing and massaging my breasts. His lips go lower and lower until they have taken a whole nipple in my mouth.

I have never felt so consumed and alive at one time. I feel everything. The fire in the pit of belly grows stronger with every sweet kiss and gently caress. And lower and lower he goes until I can feel his breath hit the outside of my panties.

"I've been dreaming about what you taste like Katniss," he states, his warm breath doing nothing to stop the butterflies in my stomach. "Will you let me taste you?"

He looks up at me now asking for permission. I can only nod my head. I would pretty much agree to anything at this point. He is so tantalising close to the place I want him most. He sticks a finger out to push my underwear out of the way and teasingly stroke through my slick folds. I jerk my hips up impatiently. He chuckles a little before removing my underwear completely and lining up his mouth with my entrance. He pokes his tongue out slowly as he begins to lick up me.

I let a low moan in approval as he licks and sucks at the abundance of juices that are flowing out of me. But it is when he raises his lips to suck and nip on my clit that I really let an embarrassing loud sound and I have to clamp down on my fist to stop myself from waking Sage.

The coil in my belly gets tighter and tighter. I am sweating with the effort to try and stay quiet as wave after wave of pleasure courses through my body. And then he sticks two thick fingers in me while his mouth continues to work my clit and I lose it completely. I turn my head into my pillow to try and stifle my scream.

Peeta sits up with a triumphant smirk and the places his fingers in his mouth to suck off the remainders of my juices.

"You taste amazing," he states as he crawls back up my body. He gives me a quick peck once he has reached the top of the bed but I am still too breathless to respond.

Eventually my breathing returns to normal and I turn on my side and scoot closer to him.

"Well Rye was right about one thing. You really do put that mouth to good uses," I state with a smirk.

Peeta smiles too and pulls me close so he can rest his forehead against mine. As he does so I feel his hard length against my thigh and can't believe he has not initiated anything to relieve it yet.

"Looks like I have some making up to do," I state seductively, my hand skimming down his stomach, dipping into his boxers and gripping him tightly.

Peeta lets out a strangled moan as I begin to leisurely work his impressive length.

"I want to feel you move inside of me," I whisper into his ear.

The normally talkative Peeta seems to be lost for words as he hears my comment and he can only nod his head in reply. With one harder stroke I release him and sit back on my elbows, my legs wide, inviting him in.

He stares for a moment before hopping off the bed, discarding his boxers and rolling on a condom I had kept in my bedside table.

He is back on me in a flash as he takes me in his arms and kisses me breathlessly. I wrap my arms around his back and pull him as close to me as possible. I feel him poke at my entrance and know I need him now. I reach down between us as I help guide him into me, slowly and steadily.

It is a beautiful type of pain as he pushes into me, my walls stretching to accommodate him. By the time he is buried deep inside of me I am already breathing heavily. He stops before making any further movement and bends down to give me a chaste kiss.

"I love you," he states.

"I love you," I reply.

He smiles at me sweetly before pulling out slightly and beginning to thrust into me.

He sets a controlled and steady pace at first, each languid thrust hitting me sweetly and causing me to pull him close to me possible. I wrap my legs around his hips so he can take me as deep as he can and my nails dig into his back to keep him in place.

We both struggle to keep our moans down so Peeta kisses me to keep us both quiet. A layer of sweat forms between us making our movements slicker.

All too soon I feel the familiar tightening in my belly and know I am close. I break my lips away from Peeta's as I let out a strangled moan. I bite down on his shoulder as I shudder and my walls crash around him.

I am breathless as I ride my orgasm out, but I don't get time to relax as Peeta is back attacking my lips so that I can swallow his own moans and he fills the condom moments later.

We stare at each other breathing heavily as we both come down from our high. Nothing more needs to be said in that moment. We both know how the other feels. Neither of us moves as we continue to hold each other and enjoy this moment of bliss.

* * *

**A/N: No surprises that Mrs Mellark reacted the way she did but at least it got Katniss and Peeta to admit important things to each other. This was a big chapter for both of them.**

**Once again thank you to everyone who reads and reviews this story. It is great hearing your thoughts. I appreciate every one of them.**


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