Twilight 1. Chapter 1

It has been the final piece to the puzzle for Edward. I knew this as we flew through Forks toward my home. The pervasive mood was one of heaviness and silence. Desperately I tried to come up with an opening line to break the tension. After all it was my mistake to get a paper cut in a house full of vampires. I had just opened my mouth to beg patience of Edward but he was first to speak.

"It is better if you do not try to understand our kind Bella. We live on the other side of life. We die and come back to life and walk and talk among you. You were so close to crossing the line tonight Bella. You would not haven even had a choice." Edward spoke calmly and clearly, almost rehearsed.

Of course I had always thought I was not perfect enough for Edward. He was carved of marble, moved with capable ease, and had lifetimes to build his intellect. I was weak sewn together in flesh, clumsy, and had only a handful of years of education when matched with him.

"Edward I understand the situation I put myself in tonight and that it was an accident that caused the situation at the house." I offered.

"That's the problem, Bella, you are a walking accident. It draws me to you and places you in danger. I may not always be there to rescue you from yourself. You think you sought me out but if I had been stronger you would never have had access to me or those in my family.

Edward looked out the window as we turned the corner and I realized that we were perilously close to home and Charlie. A seemingly large piece of me had known the second there was blood loose from my skin that this would happen. I had not allowed it to surface till now. Until this moment I had not understood that while I was an addiction for Edward, he was a fever burning through my skin carefully circling around my organs until now I felt constricted in the heat of it all.

The car came to a slow and precise stop in front of the house. I knew I was meant to get out of the car. There was something in the way Edward did not move to come to me either inside the car or to the door started the unraveling of my soul.

"I want you to stay." I breathed reaching for his hand. If it was possible he moved further from my side.

"No. I have to go home and make sure things are fine with my family."

I noticed the absence of my name. Normally it filled all conversations as if it was a warm ribbon wrapping around my heart. The absence of it set my heart to a quiver.

"You'll come by latter though, right?" I asked with little hope.

"I'm not sure that I'll be able to. Get some rest." He breathed as he chanced a glance at my face. Shaking his head he turned toward the window again as if it was a fascinating site.

"Sure." Slowly I pulled myself cell by cell out of the car, feeling the scent, and proximity slip out of my life with the Cullen's dropping. It was as if my movements filled Edwards resolve to remove himself from me. I crossed in front of the car and watched his eyes moving in the light. I wasn't sure which one of us was caving to what we had always know was inevitable.

Quietly I begged "Stay with me?" in an agonized question.

All I saw was the shake of a head that I knew he had slowed down to perfection for my eyes to register it. His car was moving before I could even turn around. I pulled my backpack up and walked toward the house praying for the world to swallow me. My body vibrated and the fever burning throughout my body gave way to an exhaustion I had never once felt. Entering the house I dropped my backpack at the door and waited for Charlie's questions.

"How'd it go Bell?" He asked in the safety of the den.

I answered positively in what must have been convincingly enough manner for no other answers were sought. Step by step I walked up the stairs my body shutting down more with each step. With the posture of a body caving I fell in free fall onto my bed fully dressed. I thought of opening the window as an invitation but honestly I knew that it was all for naught. I wrapped myself in my blankets and his smell filled my nose. I could feel the pressure of his body behind me as if it was a phantom limb. Exhaustion took over my feeble human senses and sleep over took my person.

All night I dreamed of pools of honey.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke in the morning to the hard drops of rain on my window. My first thoughts were of the previous night. I glanced around the room hoping to see Edward's glorious figure standing out against the plain surroundings of my room. Even my eyes were able to see that he was not there. The truth was that he could have visited while I slumbered and left no trace behind of his having been there.

I knew that I had to get up and talk to Edward. Slowly I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself. I was paler than normal if that was possible and large streaks of dark grey had sunken in under my eyes. While I had been asleep for many hours little rest had been found. Hoping for some restoration I turned on the shower to steam the room.

After finishing in the bathroom I pulled on jeans and a hoodie. Pushing past the kitchen I slipped my jacket over my clothes and headed toward my truck. I was on autopilot, never having to think about where I was heading. It was always going to be the Cullen house. This was a conversation that needed to happen face to face.

I drove slowly through town and the trees toward the house. The sounds of my truck were the only ones to reach my ears. I saw the start of the driveway and turned gingerly onto the drive. I was sure my truck had been heard long before now, hell I was sure Alice had seen since last night that I was determined to confront Edward.

There were no lights on. All I could see were shades of gray through the mass of windows. I pulled my hood over my head and disembarked for the house. The rain pelted my face and dampened the hood. Still feeling weak I willed myself to the door of the house I had hoped to someday be my home. A knock went unheeded. Frozen to the cold ground I considered my options and settled on trying the door. Even if Edward were in a frenzy surely the others would be happy to see me well and safe.

Holding the doorknob I twisted but entry to the house eluded me. Shuffling my feet onto the grass my feet squished into the soft earth. I willed myself to walk the path around the great house. Again I found no point of entry or signs of my vampire family. I felt a shaking down through my toes. Stopping for an evaluation I understood that my body had registered the leaving of the Cullen's with no goodbyes or reasons before my mind did.

With both my body and mind in agreement my knees went weak and I wobbled down to the ground. Immediately the wet ground began to seep into my jeans. I had fallen under the spell of Edward's love and I had started to let myself believe that perhaps he would stay with me. I had held him up in the sky like something to stretch my mortal body towards. Now I knew that was never going to happen and that I was crashing out a blaze of glory. All I had wanted was to be part of his world.

"I thought you were letting me in". I said into the air.

There was no sound in return except for the rain soaking in from all angles. I thought about moving. I continued to stay where I sat. It was easier to feel the rain's drenching power than contemplate my whole world has fallen in pieces around me. If I were to let that in it would envelop me and I would not be able to walk away from that.

No, I thought. "I refuse to accept this. You owe me more than this! All of you do." I whimpered to the dark clouds above. "It's not fare for you to let me into your world, your lives, and to just disappear with not notice!" My voice raised in volume while my bravado was a beaten as my resolve.

It only took a second to decide but it was the simplest decision of my life. In one swift move I slid onto my side and curled into a ball. A traitorous thought escaped my mind and drifted slowly to my conscious. "Once Edward gets the final say in something that ultimately controls me life." I stewed on this thought and felt the shaking return as tears melded with the rain on my face.

It would be so easy to just stay here I thought to myself. I didn't even notice that cold of the wet anymore. I welcomed the touch of something cold again, relished it even. When else would I have the opportunity to be enveloped in the embrace of the cold? It would be here that I would stay near the site of my happiness, comforted by the thoughts of Edward and the Cullen's. Wherever they had all drifted off to I silently hoped that they had all stayed together. I thought of how it would hurt Esme and Carlisle to be separated from the adopted children. I hoped I hadn't started a war between any of them. If peace was to elude me I wished it for them.

It seemed instantaneous after this stream of consciousness that I heard a small electronic sound somewhere near me. I searched through my brain trying to connect what this sound went too. I swam through oceans of fog in my mind before I recognized it as the ringtone that Alice had picked for herself in my phone. Alarm bells and joy filled my head as I forced my hand up out of the dirt and into my jeans. The Caller ID confirmed my thoughts and my heart suddenly sped up. Cautiously I answered the call.

"Alice?! Where are you?"

"Bella, you need to get up. I saw you lying on the ground outside the house. You just can't do that" It sounded like Alice but she sounded so distant. "Bella were aren't coming back. That does not give you permission to stop existing in your world."

"Alice, stop, where are you?" I asked anxiously of the pixie.

"Bella you need to pick yourself up. Don't worry about us. If you won't do it for you think of your father and mother. They would be devastated if something happened to you." She said rationally.

"Is this my fault? Was this already planned? Please I have to know." I implored of my best friend in a soft voice.

"None of this is your fault. We were going to have to leave Forks sooner or later. We were getting to look to young for our age. It happens." There was a distance in her voice but compassion in the tone. It was true they were going to leave and they weren't coming back in my time.

"How dare you go away and leave me behind like nothing ever happened. Am I supposed just forget that you all were here and that I love you all?" I replied with as much anger as my dying heart could muster.

"Alice I love you." I whispered to her.

"I know. Good bye Bella." As quick as a hummingbirds heart beat she was gone.

"I miss you already," I breathed into the phone in my hand.

I mulled over in my head the little information that Alice had given up. She was right about one thing, Charlie and Rene would never get over it if something happened to me. How could I be okay? No one ever said that I had to be okay which was good because it was an impossibility now. For now I would be a machine something devoid of emotions but capable of output.

With an upward thrust I pushed onto my knees and then with a deep breathe I took a last look at the Cullen house. I would not come back to this place. I knew this with certainty. I focused on standing and keeping my balance. I was drenched head to toe but my truck would be able to handle it. I chuckled to myself. I had won one fight with Edward I was getting to keep my truck. In soft fluid motions I made it to my car, got in and started it up. I forced away my feelings that had been stirred by my brief conversation with Alice.

More machine and less me I thought to myself as I pulled out of park and made my way to the road that would lead me home to Charlie's.


	3. Chapter 3

For a time I was had sequestered myself in the continuous pattern of home, school, work, and home again. There was to be no reprieve because I could never imagine being buoyed in life again. My mind played everyone's faces and loving words over and over in my head. More than others Edward was featured in my dreams. Private conversations, wonderful dreams, and personal inadequacies filtered in and out of my thoughts and I had no control over them.

I never wanted to see Edward unhappy and I thought that he would desire the same for me. Everything I could remember was filled with moments of wanting and longing. Now I was wondering if it had been equally reciprocated. Thoughts of Edward dancing so close to me as we traversed the space of his room. There had been lots of laughter between us in that moment because of my inability to simply follow the flawless vampire's steps.

It was going on a month since Edward and the rest of the Cullen's had wandered out of my life. Secretly I was hoping that they would choose to come back to me but each day felt as if another chasm had opened up between me and them. I wondered how I had made it easy for them to walk in and out of my life.

I had taken it upon myself to create a master playlist for my phone. The music spoke of heartbreak and relations ending. Listening to this music ripped at my soul but only in the deepness of my heartache was I able to see the clearest flashes of my love and his family. Every night I was haunted by their leaving and each morning I woke up with Edward on my mind.

I knew that Charlie was worried. It was easy to see why from the lack of color in my skin, devoid of humor, and filled with angst he was watching his daughter slip further and further into a depression. Rene said it was normal for girls to be depressed after losing their first loves. She was right but had no real idea about how my heart bled freely each day and night for those I truly loved and miss. I knew that Charlie was leaving a wide berth around me because he was simply uncomfortable by my actions.

My peers and the people in town were a crap shoot. Some people could not just leave me be because they wanted to know all the details. The truth was I had been Icarus and set a course for the golden sun that had been Edward and had come to close, burning in the process. Mostly I told people that I was fine but that was far from believable. At this point in time I was whispered about but barely contacted. I was fine with that. I decided that this was how I was proceed with my life staying in Forks and hoping for the return of my vampire family.

The family had left and spread out per Edwards desires. According to him there was a referendum for going back to Forks for quite the time. Not everyone had agreed with his plans. However it would be difficult to explain why only some had stayed in town and others had left. No, if some were going the best cover story included all of them leaving.

Alice had been one fiercely determined to stay with Bella. She still continued to cast her eye over Bella hoping for some shift in the young girl who was frozen. She could see as the days and weeks progressed that Bella was choosing to sink further into depression. Alice choose to keep this from all in the family because she was worried what Edward's reaction would be. Truthfully it was not just Edward she was worried about.

Jasper had been sullen since leaving Forks and she knew why. She was choosing to keep him in the dark for hope that Bella would be able to rouse herself. Alice was worried how much more anger Jasper would be able to turn internal toward Edward or if the reality of the situation would cause that Major's carefully constructed calm to explode.

Looking toward Bella's future Alice saw sadness, bitterness, and anger toward life. Bella had figured out that love can hurt but Alice knew that without love you just cannot survive.

Alice glanced over at Jasper to see that he was trying to read one of his favorite Texan history books however Alice knew him well enough to see that he was unfocused on the book. His posture was tense and his affect was flat. Being away from Forks was truly causing Jasper pain both mental and physically. Thinking back over the last month for her two best friends she had seen their very persons diminish. It was time to be completely honest.

Jasper had noticed that Alice was in deep contemplation. He desperately wanted to know what was flying around the pixie's brain. He was anxious for a full report on Bella and how things were going in Forks. Edward had been selfish to both his family and the girl that he claimed to love. Jasper quietly chuckled a sardonic laugh thinking about Edward. His younger brother had so much to learn and Jasper did not want to watch anymore of it occur with Bella. He let out a sigh of frustration not worried about Alice hearing it.

Alice turned toward Jasper. "I know it's been hard Jasper but it was what we had to do at the time." She reassured him.

"That might be but it does not make this any less painful. This has all been painful Alice."

"You have no idea." She whispered to her friend.

"What exactly do you mean?" Jasper asked. In a flash he was seated next to Alice.

"I am going to tell you what the past month has been like for Bella. You have to paths open in your future." Jasper nodded waiting to hear. "In one you will go after Edward. In the other you will return to Forks."

Jasper felt anxious and took a deep breath to feel the comfort of air in his lungs. He nodded to Alice and she began to tell Jasper everything Bella had and was choosing to do back in Forks.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own any of the characters in this story. Stephanie Meyers has that distinction.

Two days later I awoke on a Saturday morning feeling calm for the first time in weeks. The calmness was welcome and I felt as if I could relax and think though the events since the Cullen's absence occurred. If I was honest with myself I was honestly tired of being alone and self-imprisoned within my bedroom. As much as it pained me to confirm the Cullen's were not going to come back. They had left me to stand alone in the world. Yes, it was time for me to move on but the question was how to do it.

I looked next to my bed at the small basket that held pictures and tokens from my time with the Cullen's. Depression waving over me once again I decided that as much as it would hurt I would need to dispose of this basket full of memories. The question now was what to do with them? Simply throwing their images out in the trash caused its own brand of pain. I sat up in the bed and causally cast my memory backward over time. A particular memory came back in a gust. Spurred on by the thoughts I got up and began getting ready for the day.

After getting dressed I gather the basket, bucket, and matches I would need for my goodbyes. I knew that Charlie would be fishing all afternoon so it was me, my supplies, and my truck driving toward the woods. I was sure that I would find the meadow on my own, however long that would take would be anyone's guess. I opened up my senses and my heart hoping to find the open area to the sun. Bella hummed a soft lilting tune as she drove to the pull off that Edward had used many times before. Putting her car in park she picked up her bucket filled with her supplies and slid out of the truck.

It would take Bella a few hours to find the meadow and not without suffering some scrapes. Sitting down in the sunlight she placed her weight behind her on the ground and smiled into the warmth. She had never been to this location without Edward and has not truly been able to be amazed by the simple beauty. It had always seemed more important to focus all her attention on the sparkling vampire. It seemed that he had never reciprocated those feeling or perhaps he had convinced himself that she had never been alive in his world.

Bella knew that Edward had always impressed upon her how dangerous the world was that circled around her. It seemed impossible to feel this way as the afternoon spun around her like warm silk. With the beauty of the meadow and a calm attitude she knew that she was safe in this place that brought her peace this day. Lying on her back Bella choose to search the puffy clouds that so infrequently visited Forks for shapes passing the time peacefully. Before she realized the sereneness of the afternoon caused her to fall asleep relishing in the heat on her skin.

Jasper had been watching Bella since the previous night. He had run all night and day to reach her after Alice's conversation with him. Never having wanted to leave he had only needed a small push back to Bella's side. The emotions she had been sifting through last night had hurt Jasper's cold heart. She felt unlovable and abandoned. Depression circled around her heart and told her that this was all her fault. Jasper knew that he could never let her feel these emotions again even if she never became aware of their connection. He would stay with whether or not she choose to be human. He did know that from now on he would make sure that Bella was given the opportunity to make her own informed decisions.

Being in love was something that I had never truly happened to Jasper before. Infatuation? Yes. That had been more of a boys' game and he was decidedly not a child anymore. He had often questioned himself as to why he had let Edward take his place with Bella. The truth was that he was scared by the feelings he felt for her the first time his eyes has brushed across her beautiful face. Truth be told that if Edward had not had the gift of faster speed than he, Jasper would have been the one to protect Bella from the van.

Honesty and openness with Alice had helped him realize that not only was he desperate to be in Bella's life but that they were destined to be mates. He trusted in Alice's gift and understood that vampires knew their mates on site. There was a reason that Jasper had never touched Bella to this day, the touch of two who are to be mates' seals their fates together for the rest of their lives. Jasper knew that that was a fate he would not choose for Bella.

He now knew why all the roads he had walked in his life had never led him to home. Jasper could feel that Bella had truly relaxed in her sleep. Wishing he was next to her he noticed that the sun was beginning its decent for the day. Jasper had made many mistakes in life but now he swore he would change and be the man that Bella could depend on. He sent a surge of adrenaline toward her and watched her start to stir. He was unsure if he should stay and watch over Bella or give her space for her project. The need to be close made up his mind for him. He happily sent Bella the feeling of peace as she roused.

Bella slowly awoke to see that the sun was setting. It had cooled off some since she had laid down on the warm grass. She sat with her legs crossed next to the bucket. Gingerly she pulled out the pictures that reminded her of the fairytale feeling of being with the Cullen's.

"I wonder, did you all already forget that I was even alive? Can vampires erase memories?" She asked of the darkening sky. "There's no one left here to remind me about us. This is where I'm left." Bella spoke strong and clear. She hungrily looked over each image before putting it in the bucket. "I know this is what I have to do but I just don't know where we went wrong."

Taking the matches she pulled one out and struck it against the box. Slowly Bella lowered the match to the pictures hoping to burn them out of her mind. However match after match was not able to engulf the faces of the Cullen's. Scorched was the best outcome occurring for Bella.

"Good God!" She huffed. "I can't even burn a few pictures."

Bella looked around her and saw that the field was filled with twilight. The soft sounds of animals getting ready to rest for the day, soft light hung around the middle of the meadow and that edges were filled with deep dark colors. She felt safe and as if she was not alone but near a true friend. She had felt so lonely and cast ashore but that seemed to be defined as now and before.

Thinking over having felt so lonely she realized that all her life she had felt out of place until the Cullen's. She simply straddled the fence between the two worlds. She had been able, somehow, to escape Edwards's gift but Alice and Jaspers were able to locate her. Perhaps she was one of a kind. To be truthful she had hoped that becoming a vampire would bring her home and no longer alone in the world.

Suddenly Bella felt and intense gaze focusing on her. She was sure that fear would come over her but instead she relaxed. Searching through the dim light she searched for a figure. Instead eyes of honey were filled with light shining at her. She knew by the eyes it was vegetarian vampire but the question was it one of her vampires? Instinctively she knew that it was. The strangest peace filled her from head to toe. Before she had even thought to move toward the eyes her feet were flying at human speed toward them. She needed to see the face. She needed to be whole.

As she put her toes off the meadow grass she could see that it was Jasper and her heart hammered in her chest. Someone had come back for her. Never for once had she blamed Jasper for the incident on her birthday nor the aftermath that occurred. In her desire to feel whole she threw her arms around Jasper's neck. His skin felt cool and soft to the touch. It felt incredible but she felt her own skin flush with electricity every place their skin touched.

"Where have you been?" Bella asked in a dreamy haze.

"Sorry I am so late Darlin. I am here now and I will not leave your side again.

Bella could see the sincerity of the Major in both his words and manner.

"Not alone…" Bella whispered.

"Not alone." Jasper agreed.


	5. Chapter 5

After Bella released Jasper from her embrace she grabbed onto his hand for fear that he would disappear into woods surrounding them. In all honesty she was enjoying the buzzing feeling that came with the interaction of her skin and Jasper's strong skin. Each of them stared at each other and sat down on the edge of the meadow. Each was enjoying the others company and for many minutes no words were spoken. Jasper prided himself on the fact that he was capable of fading into the scenes. He enjoyed taking in situations and chewing them over in his head. It was because of this natural tendency that he was not sure why he was the first one to speak.

"I am truly sorry Bella that have felt so alone since the incident." Jasper breathed just loud enough for her hearing. "I never wanted to leave." He looked over Bella and noticed that she was playing with his hand. To Jasper this was the most glorious sensation of touch in his life.

"If you didn't want to leave, why did you?" Bella asked.

Jasper wondered if he could empty all his thoughts over to Bella. He never wanted her to be uncomfortable or feel her hand was forced. However, Jasper had always thought that Edward never gave Bella enough credit for the strength and fortitude he could sense in her. She was always capable to rally for those she loved. Now it would be Jasper's turn to rally for Bella.

'It is a bit of an odd story that goes back to when you became aware of us at school." He paused waiting to see if Bella was ready for a story.

"I'd love to hear your story Jasper. Just as long as you aren't going to leave pieces out. I've found myself to be tired of not being an active participant in my own life." Jasper smiled at Bella and found peace in the stillness between them.

"Did Edward ever tell you about mates in the vampire world?" Jasper asked as he circled the smooth skin of hand with his thumbs.

"That never seemed to come up. Of course he must have left it out because he thought I couldn't handle." Bella huffed but her eyes never left Jasper's.

Running his vacant hand through his hair Jasper smiled. He knew the real reason Edward had never talked to Bella about mates was because Edward knew that he and Bella had not been mates but obsessed with one another.

"In our world Bella if we are lucky we come across our mate. Mates have a lifelong connection with each other no matter where they are. They know who their mate is from the first time their eyes connect and it is irreversible. Some would say that it is unfair and that there is no choice considered. I have heard from those who are mated like Carlisle and Esme that everything falls into place and it becomes as easy as breathing. When separated you worry and always want to protect each other." Jasper looked deep in Bella's eyes to see if she was understanding what he was saying.

"Okay so vampires have an instinctual pull toward one other special person?"

"Absolutely. If they are lucky enough to find them."

"Carlisle and Esme are a perfect example. I can so see that. Rose and Emmett?" She asked of him.

"From the moment Emmett woke up." Jasper said fervently.

"You and Alice?" Bella asked innocently.

Jasper blew out a deep breath into Bella's face. She realized that she had never spent close and personal time with Jasper before. He smelled like warm vanilla with a hint of sweetness. She realized that Jasper smelled exactly like her memories of baking cookies with Rene as a child. It was calming and peaceful as was the circling of his thumb on her hand. She felt so close to him. Closer than Edward had ever let her get to Jasper before. He seemed concerned and almost scared, but why Bella could not understand.

"Alice and I are not mated. We never were. The truth is that we have only ever been very strong friends. It was easy to act as a couple at school so that I never had to be alone with a student before. There was a time when that would have been quite dangerous. Alice was my buffer and best friend at school and at home. I learned to trust her and she trusts me. She is the one who told me of your condition these past few months and I knew I had to come back here to be with you Bella." Jasper reached out and caressed Bella's cheek.

"It seems unnatural that you and Alice wouldn't be together. I always believed you were because you seemed so happy."

"We were and are happy to spend time together but I know for certain that Alice was not meant to be my mate." Jasper finished quietly looking intently into Bella's eyes.

Bella was sad for Alice but for a strange reason she found herself glad that Jasper was not tied to the stylish pixie. If Alice had not been meant for Jasper and he had that capacity to be so happy Bella wished this for Jasper. It also explained why loveable Emmitt put up with all of Rosalie's crap. True love must really be the great equalizer.

Looking up into Jasper's love she came to a sudden realization that she was desperate for him not to leave her but not because she would be lonely without him or the rest of the Cullen's. It was simply because she wanted to touch him, hold him. She knew that she would never do him wrong and she wanted him to stay near her so that she could feel her heart race.

"Jasper, have you found your mate?" Bella asked with wide eyes.

"Yes I have. A while ago actually but it was tricky to get to her. At the time I do not think I was ready of worthy of her. I have been working on myself but she has to know that I am always going to be a work in progress."

"Jasper…"

"Let me finish Bella.

She nodded slowly her approval.

"There is nothing I would not do for her. I could make her happy. I want to make all of her dreams come true. I just want to make her feel all of my love. She owns my heart now and I will never be able to thank a higher power for her truly being in my life now?"

"You have known all of this since the first time our eyes connected?"

"Essentially."

"Why did you never tell me? It must have been torture to see me with Edward."

"Would you have believed me?" Jasper asked honestly of her.

Bella wondered if she would have believed Jasper. The honest answer was probably no. She had been so wrapped up in Edward that she would have rejected even the notion. God knew that Edward would have kept her as far away from Jasper if possible. Now that she thought of it that was just what Edward had done.

She stared intently at Japer's face wondering what life would be like to be more than friends with the beautiful empath from the Civil War. Something inside her had flipped over the moment they had touch skin to skin. Emotions she had never had for Jasper were flooding her veins with a deep and steady beat from her heart. Underneath the light of the moon Jasper looked more beautiful than Bella had thought possible. Being more than friends seemed inevitable. She knew now that it had always been Jasper. They had not been ready to be in each other's lives but now Bella's hidden desires flowed through her body.

Bella sat up on her knees to be closer to Jasper's height. She gently traced down his face with her fingertips. Somewhere deep inside the desire to kiss his lips crashed over her senses.

Jasper could not believe all of the emotions that were flickering inside Bella as he watched her face. There was confusion, angst, love, and lust in the final wave. He could not help but hope that the love was for him. For so many months Jasper had loved Bella from afar. His possessiveness had wanted to pull her away from Edward and claim her as his mate but Alice had helped him realize that Bella needed to be released by Edward to be able to come to him willingly. From the vibes he was picking up from Bella he needed to send that pixie so serious flowers as a thank you. As Bella rose to her knees he forced himself to pull his head and emotions out of his desire to capture Bella's red lips with his pale ones.

"Bella, wait, I do not want you to look back on this evening with confusion. I have committed myself to you but you have all the time in the world to return the feeling. Even if you never do let me reassure you that I am not leaving you unless you order me away." Jasper desperately wanted her to desire him as well but not as a connection back toward Edward.

Bella placed both of her hands on Jasper's face. He relished in each touch. She thought deeply about what to say to Jasper.

"Jasper my feelings for Edward were an obsession. It was aggressive, rough, and built on dangerous situations. My feelings for you are calm and deep. I get it now. It was always you. I don't know why I never was connected to these feelings before. Believe me that I am now."

"I think it was because you are human. You needed actual connection to feel it." Jasper breathed.

"Uh hmm." Bella encircled her arms around Jasper's neck. She could feel her pulse quicken at the electricity between their skin.

"Definitely. I would never lie to you Ma'am."

"That's good to know Major." Bella crooned.

She could feel that their kiss was imminent. Somehow she knew that Jasper needed this connection as much as did and within seconds for her their lips touched. It started as the chaste kiss Jasper anticipated to the longer more extended kiss Bella needed. Who was he to deny her something he could feel she so desired. After a length of time not nearly long enough for either of them Jasper swung her on his back and started his run back toward the truck. It was getting to late and he did not want Bella getting grounded because he had many plans for them.

For the first time in well over a century Jasper felt the fever of love's first kiss flush his cold body.


	6. Chapter 6

All too soon Bella released Jasper to enter her home. She felt tethered to the southern vampire and wondered how far they could be separated before there was physical pain introduced. Smiling up at Jasper like a little kid with the best secret she took it upon herself to kiss him. Each kiss thus far had felt like warm explosions in her insides are were far more pleasurable than any kiss with Edward.

Bella deduced that this was because Jasper whole heartedly entered into each kiss. She could feel he wanted more just like she did but that there was no reckless abandon for Major Whitlock. There was a combination of strategic thought and abandon of reason that felt right. Edward's kisses had always been strained and she had always felt she had to fight for the right to kiss him. With Jasper it was fun, fulfilling, and sexy. Definitely sexy.

"You better get inside before your dad realizes you are still out here." Jasper was smiling a full smile and it was dazzling to Bella.

"I'm sure that would be the practical thing." She countered while reaching up and playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Jasper moved his neck for better access for Bella.

"Ok this is what is going to happen," Japer started while leaning down and kissing Bella. He found he was almost lost in the warmth of her kiss and the bliss he found from her hand playing with his hair. Finding strength he did not know he had against Bella's ministrations he stood up. "You are going to go in that house now and I am going to go hunt. You should eat too."

"Boring."

"Necessary."

"Ok. For you." Bella acquiesced. She wanted Jasper know how much she respected him. "You won't be leaving the area though?"

Jasper knew what Bella was really asking. She wanted to know if Jasper was going to leave again. He cursed Edward for wounding her spirit. In the same breath he cursed himself for not being able to prevent the situation from affecting her as it had. The one thing Edward had done for him was to leave her. It had been agony for Jasper to wait to hear from Alice that now it was his time to be with Bella. The fact that she had not been scared to see him by himself was remarkable. It was incomprehensible how quickly she had felt and accepted the connection between them. Would he leave her? He would never stray far or happily from her side.

"Bella I am never leaving your side unless I cannot help it. You will have to send me away and even then I am not sure I am strong enough to truly leave you." He replied.

Bella blushed at the ferocity of Jasper's commitment to her. This was something she had never had before in her life. She truly believed Jasper's words and thus felt the small frenzy over her heart fade into the background.

"Okay. I trust you Jasper. Wrestle something fun for me." She said with mirth in her laugh.

"Oh I plan to but not an animal. I have plans for you Ma'am."

With a kiss that was too short for both of them Jasper took off toward the woods.

Bella smiled after her vampire and walked up the steps of her house and headed into the kitchen.

Charlie was the first one of the two to realize something was different with Bella. First was her posture it was no longer slouched. Second she was humming something upbeat. Third she seemed to be dancing around the kitchen. Charlie stood by the entry way to the kitchen nursing his beer as he watched Bella put together a sandwich, chips, and cutting up an apple swaying side to side as she went. This was more food than she had eaten in a whole day just yesterday.

"Bells?"

"Oh hey Dad." Bella replied as her dad came into focus. She grabbed a slice of apple and took a generous bit off of it.

"Are you okay? You seem different." Charlie asked followed by a larger swig of beer.

I feel different Bella thought. I think I might be in love and found someone who will never let me be alone again. What to tell Charlie she thought.

"Ya I'm okay Dad. I ran into someone I haven't seen in a while and we got to talking and it just brought my mood up." She smiled at Charlie and took a bite of her sandwich.

"Mind if I ask who?" Charlie was significantly hoping it wasn't one copper haired ass.

"Not it wasn't Edward if that's what you are thinking."

Charlie couldn't believe that she had said his name. It had been verboten to say it because it induced fit of depression and spilt tears.

"So who do I have to thank for pulling you back toward the living?"

"Jasper Hale."

"Isn't he one of the Cullen's kids?" Charlie asked suspiciously.

"Yup. He's back in town for a while. I didn't even know until we ran into each other. It was really great seeing him." She laughed. "I'm going to take this upstairs and get ready for the night."

"Uh okay." Charlie watched Bella turn the corner finishing half her sandwich and smiled. If this attitude were to keep up he might have to thank Jasper. Secretly Charlie was bracing himself for another backslide.

After finishing her food Bella look through her clothes. With Edward there had never been this feeling of wanting to try and look like more of herself. She wished she had gotten Alice's number from Jasper to consult with the fashion pixie. One her own she picked a comfortable pair of blue pajamas gather her bathroom supplies and headed in.

The whole shower Bella was buzzing with anticipation of seeing Jasper again. It could all be in her head but she felt that he was coming closer to the house as she rinsed her hair. Bella ensconced herself in towel and looked at the mirror. She wondered if how suddenly she felt for Jasper was wrong. It was similar to her infatuation with Edward but felt warmer and more comfortable in a just a few hours than with months spent with Edward.

Edward. She said that name again in her head. Edward. She found no discomfort from thinking it or even visualizing the vampire she had thought she was in love with.

Now as she brushed her teeth she realized intellectually what her body had known for the past few hours. She was pretty sure that she was in love with Jasper Whitlock. She wondered to herself if it was and unfolding love like "normal" love or was this simply something that she was pulled into by the vampire world. Perhaps it was a little of both. All she knew was that she had never been so content in her seventeen years. This was a feeling she was going to roll with. She deserved to be this happy.

Taking several deep breaths Bella opened the door and crossed to her bedroom. She had been sure that her plus one would be there but there it was an empty bedroom. At first thought she was crushed but something in her gut told her to stay calm that Jasper would never abandon her. As she slowed down her brain she realized they had never talked about spending the evening together. This was an assumption she had from her past with Edward. Jasper was nothing like Edward except for their choice of meals. Jasper was more than a century old and came from the time of military education, and strict polite manners. While Edward was polite almost to a fault he had simply entered her home and watch her sleep for many weeks before making her aware. This was something she knew to her core that Jasper would never do.

Bella went to her window and looked around outside. She could not see Jasper but she knew he was close, very close. Without any hesitation she opened the window wide.

Speaking softly she whispered an invitation to Jasper to come through her window. Then she turned around to turn down the bed. Before she could she felt the breeze move her hair and knew that Jasper had taken her up on her invitation.

"Any good wrestling?" She asked simply as she sat on her bed.

"Some, but I did not want to be too far from you."

Bella looked up at Jasper and smiled. His eyes were light and she found the honey color to be just the right shade for him.

"I appreciate you taking me into consideration but I want you to be able to hunt where and when you need too. It's only fair since I only have to hunt in the fridge.

His lopsided grin hit her right in the heart. She felt her pulse quicken and take off. Desperately Bella tried to get her emotions in check. Perhaps being around an empath was going to trickier than she had originally thought.

"You do not have to do that for me Bella. Feeling any emotions you have are a pleasure for me. Besides you may mask you emotions but the pulse of your body gives you away every time. You should always feel free to be you with me."

Jasper watched as the blush crept into her cheeks breathed in her intoxicating scent bloomed like a cloud around them from the extra heat of her body. She was everything and more than he could have ever asked for. It was worth every agonizing moment of his previous life before Bella just to get her in this moment with her. He smiled at the thought she might actually return all his affection.

"That right there makes it hard for me to focus on the here and now!" Bella remarked pulling Jasper out of his reverie.

"What?" He asked innocently. Jasper knew that she was as attracted to his every movement as he was to hers.

"Those smiles, I can't think or control myself around them. I don't know what's going on? Ever since the meadow I feel freer. Brighter even. I have complete trust in you."

"I accept that because I trust you but I'm feeling so many things at an accelerated rate that it's hard for the human to grasp it." Bella huffed and leaned against her headboard.

Jasper closed the distance between then in a second and sat next to Bella.

"Mates are created one on one. Sometimes they find each other quickly while others take years to find one another. From the moment they are connected they feel it and everything falls into place in their relationship. I would lie if I did not inform you that I have not found information of a vampire human mating situation. If this is too much for you I can be your friend for however long you need me to be. However for me I will always want more with you. I want you to be my partner in all things Bella. The good the bad and everything in between. Equal partners that is what I want for us.

Bella thought through what Jasper had said. He had been waiting for her well over a hundred years. He would take it at her pace which she never would have doubted from the major. He was beautiful inside and out and brought such peace to her heart.

"I feel like I have never breathed before tonight. For so long my heartbeat has been barely moving. I trust you with everything in me. I want nothing more than the feeling of your skin on mine. The world gets drowned out when your lips are on mine. I'm not going to say that I understand any of this." Bella stared at Jasper comfortable in the silence. "I feel frantic like I'm caught up in wave and may never make it back up to the surface. You know what though that's okay because I know you'll always find me. Biology, vampire mojo, or whatever it is you picked me Jasper Whitlock and that makes me feel so special."

Jasper heard everything Bella said and the positive affirmation toward them being together was more than the southern vampire could handle. He felt as if his cold still heart could beat. Her acceptance of him this whole evening showed how special she was and she had been made for him.

At first he had fought that this human was his mate but she was right whatever power was bringing them together he had chosen the beautiful human. He had bided his time and reached her when there was worry. All in the span of a few hours they were hear in this moment. Jasper knew that he was in love with Bella but now was not the time to possibly burden her. This was all so knew to her. Jasper had had months to get used to the idea.

Bella reached between them ran her fingers down Jasper's cheek. Slowly she pulled herself onto her knees. "Jasper, I love you."

Her sweet breath swirled Jasper's face and the flush of color to her cheeks made it impossible for him to kiss her in a swift taking and slow hypnotizing over taking of both of their senses.

"Am I awake?" Jasper asked Bella as they parted by millimeters.

"As much as I am." Bella responded and closed the gap between their lips. Each kiss from Jasper became better and better. She felt her body tremble on another frequency. She could do this forever and they were barley kissing.

"If you were wondering I could do this all night too." Jasper said sounding dazed. However I think you need sleep. I promise I will be here in the morning."

Bella wanted to try out more kissing but she could feel that Jasper really wanted her to sleep. If that was something she could do to make him as happy as he made her she would try.

"For you I'll try. You should be aware though that my body is quite buzzy."

"Lucky for you your mate is an empath."

Japer placed his hand on Bella's back and within minutes she was dreaming of honey eyes and warm kisses.


	7. Chapter 7

To Edward the world seemed less magical as it had during the stolen moments with Bella. He had been the one to stop the carousel ride. The brass ring had been Bella's mortality and to Edward that was something to be kept safe. A life full of mortal memories was what he had given her. He truly hoped that one day she would be able to understand why he let her go.

Ever since the family had landed in another home in another town far away Edward had been frozen in a chair. To his family he seemed as if her were a statue to another time. He only left his chair when Carlisle ordered him to hunt. As the time seemed to wear on he noticed Rosalie and Emmett had left and then only a few days before Jasper had left. He wondered after Jasper's absence when his companion of many years, Alice, stayed behind.

Edward watched the sun track across the sky from rising to burning as it set. He knew that if he could find solace in dreams it would be Bella he would still see in front on his face. She had believed him so quickly that it had shocked him. It was impossible for her to know the depth of his love for her and in this self-imposed silence he realized that this was all his fault.

He had told her he did not love her.

He had made her believe she was nothing more than a pet to both he and his entire family.

He had walked away.

She had been willing to go with him, no questions asked.

She had asked him to take her with him.

She had begged him to stay with her.

Edward knew that at some point in her life Bella would move on. He smirked while chuckling thinking of how mad the world would be when he no longer held the heart of Isabella Swan. If he was true to himself he wanted to fly back to her side and never let her go. He heaved a heavy sigh to feel movement within his body and went back to watching memories of Bella's smile.

Meanwhile in the mad pixie's room things were much more uplifted. She had bouncy pop music on as she smiled at the computer screen. She laughed to herself as she worked at top speed. She had not needed the vision to know that she would get clothes to Bella one way or another. She had been itching for months. Now that she knew that her best friend wanted to dress up somewhat she was had doubled her efforts over the course of the day.

Moving between laptops she easily ordered clothes of all styles and type, shoes from the ridiculous (to make Bella smile) and the practical. Pocket books in all texture and color for the season would arrive in two days' time. Alice knew that Jasper would work on being able to spoil her but Alice took her current distance from Bella as an excuse to set her up with enough accessories to last her till at least midseason.

She was so happy for her two best friends. They had finally been able to come together and just as Alice had reasoned with Jasper, Bella, had been able to accept that something was going on between the two of them. Stolen kisses, happy smiles, and content silences were spied through Alice's visions.

If Alice was honest it was becoming difficult to keep these thoughts away from Edward. She knew that he was not paying attention to anything in the house but she knew eventual that would end. She had to be careful to not let him see the love shining in Bella's eyes as she gazed into Jasper's eyes.

All that was important to Alice right now was Bella's happiness. She had been through so much by Edward's declaration of having to leave her. Many times Bella would talk too openly to Alice. It had been such a heavy feeling keeping all of her pain wrapped up within Alice. However it was essential for Bella to work through all of her pain and being obsessed with Edward. Jasper and Bella's pain had been essential for them being so open to one another on site. Alice knew that for multiple nights Bella had been dreaming of Jasper's honey colored eyes without knowing whose they were.

Alice spun herself around several times in front of her desk. Esme stopped as she passed by.

"Something good?" Esme asked with a large smile.

"The best. I think things are going to fall into place soon for all of us." Alice replied raising her eyebrows high.

"That sounds good! Care to elaborate?"

"Not right now but soon enough." Alice smiled.

Esme shook her head and continued on her way.

"More than soon enough." Alice stated before clicking on purchase again.

Five days had passed since Jasper had come to Bella that night. Each day she found that she was happier than ever. It didn't matter if she was brushing her teeth, or listening to a lecture she found everything to be tolerable because she knew in a matter of time she would be reconnected to Jasper. He had lived up to his promise to be there each day and was never far away from Bella. School and hunting seemed to be the biggest time drain on their relationship.

Earlier that night Jasper had left for his hunt. Bella had left the window open for Jasper's access and went to take care of her human moments while he was absent from her side. She found herself listening to a bouncy song about love as she brushed her hair. Normally she would never dare let her body move to music. She turned off the light and danced across the hall into her bedroom.

Jasper had laying on Bella's bed biding his time until she entered the room. His mind examined how the past few days had transpired. Bella had accepted their relationship with open arms. Jasper felt that Bella had blossomed in just a few short days. She was smiling, laughing, and kissing. He thought with laser precision over each and every kiss in their short history as a couple. Each one had been open and honest. He could feel Bella's passion and love eminent through him. If his heart was viable it would have skipped beats over the depth of contentment he felt flow from Bella.

When he had returned to the Swan residence he heard music playing upstairs. Was it his type of music? Truthfully no. However the fact that Bella was enjoying herself made him smile. As he settled into the bed he could hear the shuffling of her feet as she moved in time with the music.

Dancing? He thought to himself. Jasper had never seen Bella move much on her own never mind dance. Edward had pretty much coddled Bella and carried her everywhere they went. As much as he was intrigued by the thought of Bella dancing Jasper refused to walk in on her human moments.

Just then heard noise in the hallway. He sensed that it was Bella's emotional profile and not Charlie's. As quickly as he had that thought Bella shuffled into her bedroom. She was wearing gray shorts and a tight green long sleeve t-shirt. Japer was more focused on the shorts as Bella was swaying back and forth. His smile deepened because Bella obviously did not realize that he was in the room yet. He wrestled for a moment about not announcing himself but the southern gentleman was too ingrained in him. He waited for one more booty shake and then coughed.

"Hey Japer." Bella replied to the cough as she got her clothes out for the next day.

She had been acutely aware of Jasper's proximity to her. For some reason that was new to her she didn't mind the thought of dancing in front of Jasper. Secretly she was hoping it would have more than just a humorous effect on him. When she turned around she didn't need to be an empathy to know that she had had success.

Jasper opened up the sheets for Bella as a sign for her to crawl into bed with him. This was an easy decision. She sauntered over to the bedside, turned off her music, and then pulled off her t-shirt to reveal a green tank top. Hopping into the bed Jasper pulled the covers over her. This could get tricky really fast for them. Between genuinely enjoying each other's company it seemed that Bella wanted a more physical relationship.

Looking up at Jasper, Bella, threaded her hands into Jasper's hair. With a gentle tug he brought his face closer to hers. There would be time for more intimacy in the future tonight was made for gentle kisses holding onto building passions.


End file.
