Harry Potter 1. Mind Games

Disclaimer: I do not own the fantastic world of Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. I do own Saoirse as she's my crazy girl.

The Lake

Time and Date: 25 April, 2011 at 9:45 PM

Saoirse laid outside by the lake sound asleep her body covered in scratches and bruises as she tossed and turned in her sleep. She opened one eye to see complete and utter darkness. Her royal blue gaze blinking as she looked around the lake with a sense of horror. Her pale fingers moving to stroke her straighten black hair with a look of disdain. Why would she straighten her trademark curly black hair? She thought quietly as she glanced down at her bruised skin with a glance again wondering if she was crazy or if she were possessed by something. She rose slowly feeling as if her limbs were heavy and dragging behind her. She walked quietly towards the beacon of light. Hogwarts, her home away from home. Maybe one of her friends would explain what happened to her last night. She thought hopefully. Surely it was only one night she lost.

The young Gryffindor walked up the hilly slope as she treaded barefoot through the grass. Her clothes were tattered and torn as she adjusted the piece of material over her slim shoulder. Her pale skin glowing in the moonlight as she made her way to the doors. She pushed them open quietly as she saw glances of a few students staring at the female's appearance. Many stared openly at the girl as they all thought the same thing, What happened to her? Saoirse glanced away from the people's stares and tilted her head up with a faint grin as she spoke out loud. "Met my match with the Whomping Willow." She said with a faint laugh as she hurried up the changing staircase to her house. She said the password and rushed inside looking for someone familiar to tell her what had happened. She caught a third year who saw her and looked like they saw a ghost or someone who was the equivalent to one.

"Oi you, yeah you, not him, you." Saoirse called as she stomped over to the panic stricken child. "What's today date and the time? Is it the twenty-third?" She asked quickly as she saw the look on the child's face dart to the others in the room.

"I um, it's actually the 25th and 9:45 pm." The child said glancing at her then away quickly. "You've been g-gone for three days." He spoke softly as he looked down only to hear Saoirse's voice rise an octave. "What the bloody effin hell are you talking about? I have been here right I was just sleeping on the lawn. It's not that date no way in hell I slept that long." She spoke losing her calm as she glanced around. They all looked at her as if she was some mental patient. Maybe she was mental. She sighed softly as the child cowered from her. "You know what kid forget it, not your fault. I'm going to bed." She called walking up the winding spiral staircase to her room where she flopped down onto the poster bed her face buried into the sheets. It was happening more, the black outs, the loss of time, what the hell was going on with her. She thought to herself quietly that's when she heard them again. She sighed as she heard the voices speak to her, as if they were in front of her.

**'Oi you stupid betch it was supposed to be fecking me you fecked up priss.'**

_'Oh ho ho, no I got out first you ignorant ninny.'_

'What are you two fighting about now?' Came Saoirse's own voice to stop the bickering. She heard the response and was shocked that they said the same thing.

**'Nothing.'**

_'Nothing.'_

'You know what I'm tired just shut up and leave me alone you crazy hags.' Saoirse's thought ended the whole argument.

The young Gryffindor went to sleep feeling as if something right would come from this whole ordeal if she didn't question the voices and if the voices left her alone and didn't exist outside her head then surely there was no harm to talking to voices inside her mind.

Time-Skip  
>Gryffindor Seventh Year Girl's Dormitories<br>Time and Date: 22 April 2011 at 9:45 AM

Saoirse had last night felt the worst headache of her life. She had fallen for the first time in years in front of a group of people and for some reason she felt humiliated instead of laughing it off. She watched a gorgeous man laughing at her in the group and her mortification went up. She heard a voice saying _'This is embarrassing, let me out.'_ Unfortunately for that voice Saoirse refused to listen to it going through the humiliation alone. Saorise went to bed the feelings of humiliation still boiling as she heard the man's laughter. In the morning, the young Gryffindor was sprawled out in her queen size poster bed cringing as her eyes flashing from aquamarine to navy blue as she heard the voices arguing.

'_I am a better person than you. I am polite, kind and innocent. I'm not a dirty wench like you.'_

'**Oh feck no you stupid bitty, I'm better. I have any guy I want, and they enjoy it when they are with me. I'm abso-fecking-lutely perfect got that betch?'**

'_Oh please you are not perfect and I'm not saying I'm perfect. You ma'am are pure evil incarnate. Sex is sacred; it should only be done with someone that is the one. You push yourself into men's pants and act as if it's all right. You should be ashamed with yourself.'_

'**Please, it's just bloody sex and guess what, those men like it, not to mention the ladies, the ladies love being with me, I'm an amazingly brilliant lover.'**

'_No one wants to date or be with a whore you eejit. My, I mean our reputation is at stake, really you'd make us look like some woman for hire.'_

'**Oh please, you fecking bitty, I do what I want damn the consequences, I don't give a bloody fecking damn about anyone but me. I get my itch scratched alright bitty? I love sex, it's amazing, I'll get it anytime anywhere with whoever I fecking well please.'**

'_It isn't right and look at her she's a mess, maybe I should help her.'_

'**No betch I will tak-help her.'**

'What the hell are you two bickering about? Really I just woke up with a headache before this and you two are fighting inside my head. Shut the Fuck up, I want to have peace and quiet.'

'**Nope we love fecking with you betch.'**

'_I don't fight, my dear, I have creative discussions.'_

'**Who says that kind of shite? Right that's you betch.'**

'Please just be quiet, I want quiet, shut up.'

'_Do you know who I am? I am a proper girl, better than you, so much better.'_

'Stop talking your just a voice, get out of my head.' Saoirse closed her eyes laying her head on the pillow to try and rid her of the headache, her body shaking as she silently cried at the conversation in her head. She couldn't get rid of them, no matter how much she drank or how many spells she used, they were still there torturing her. The shaking increased as Saoirse's thoughts became less focused and vague.

'_It's going to be me, ho ho ho.'_

'**No it's going to be me this time.'**

When her eyes opened bright aquamarine eyes revealed who had control of Saoirse's body. She looked around laughing softly, her laugh innocent. She looked down at the black sheets and looked at her dark wavy black hair with a sniff. _"This won't do, too curly, I need to straighten it."_ She murmured holding her long curly strand in her fingers. She leaned up against the hard, cold mahogany headboard. The chills causing her flesh to develop goose bumps. Her head tilted down to see the dark black camisole Saoirse had on. _"This isn't proper."_ She said with a frown covering her chest by crossing her arms and straightening her shoulders. It wasn't proper for a young woman to slouch, she thought to herself. Her body was moving in ways Saoirse rarely moved, her arms above her head as she yawned and stretched, her body seemingly more flexible. She looked at the mirror. _"Oh goodness I should check and see if I look alright."_ She placed her feet firmly on the ground her eyes still on the mirror. _"I have her body to control, brilliant of me."_ Her voice clipped, as she walked to the floor length mirror. Her eyes on the booty shorts and camisole were showing disgust. _"Whore's clothes, this won't do."_ She walked into the closet, her eyes eyeing a decent skirt and a flirty top. She walked into the bathroom staring at her reflection some more. Saoirse's face showed remnants of day old makeup, her eyes looking sunken by the black eyeliner and mascara running almost like a circle around her eyes. Her aquamarine eyes widening in horror as she took in her appearance. _"This is hideous, I can't go outside looking like this, it's not proper."_ She took a washcloth and rubbed at her face until it was red and blotchy. Her face looked pristine, with wide eyes, and an air of innocence the girl dried her face. She looked down at her body, _"I should shower, I smell like day old whiskey."_ She scrunched her nose at her body as she spoke. _'Goodness you are horrible aren't you Saoirse? I mean really our body looks pathetic don't you think?'_ Her thoughts reached the emptiness of her mind. Her enemy in Saoirse's mind was sleeping, as Saoirse remained vacant and numb, not realizing she wasn't in control. The young woman walked to the shower, turning it on as she observed the rain showerhead, it was chrome silver and square._ 'It seems Saoirse has good taste, clever girl.' _She thought as she turned it on watching the water splash onto the tan tiles, pulling off the black camisole and black booty shorts, noticing Saoirse slept without anything under the clothes. She turned bright red with embarrassment. _'Stupid girl, wearing nothing is bad.'_ She thought to an empty mind. She stepped into the mildly hot spray of water her hair being weighed down by the excess weight of the water. She picked up the lavender scented shampoo lathering it into her hair as she felt her skin feel rejuvenated. She grabbed the big terry white towel wrapping it around her as she walked into the closet looking for something proper and conservative to wear. She found an a-line knee length skirt that was charcoal grey and a white dress shirt that she buttoned up. She wore a nude color bra under her shirt her eyes on the black stiletto heels with disdain as she grabbed black flats. She pulled the clothing on her eyes furrowed together as she looked at her black curls with hatred. Curls were lower class. She combed her hair as she blow-dried it. Her eyes watching her reflection as she looked inside the drawer finding the flat iron she always used she began to straighten her long black locks, that taking at least thirty minutes. She pulled her straight hair into a tight ponytail and then a clip. She looked around for the clock sighing. _"I am running late, a girl always rises early, stupid girl not letting me take over faster."_ She spoke out loud briskly walking to the door her eyes never looking back at the mess; surely the servants could clean that up right? Wrong. She turned around storming over and pulling the sheets up her eyebrows knitting closer together. It was a bloody mess, her not making it out the door on time. She frowned even more as she finished making the bed not happy that it had one wrinkle that wouldn't go away. She sighed and walked to the door with a brisk pace grabbing the keys to the flat and the purse. She wasn't Saoirse it was obvious but someone always called her that. She walked down the stairs her back erect as she frowned when someone kept calling for her under the name of Saoirse.

'_Stupid blokes, I'm not Saoirse.'_ She thought with a sigh, turning around looking up to see a boy with shaggy blonde hair her eyes widening nervously before she relaxed smiling. _"Hello." _Her tone took on a clipped sound her aquamarine eyes meeting his. _"I-I was trying to make it down on time."_ She said nervously. Men had always made her nervous, her eyes on this man made her fidget. He was beautiful, she wasn't beautiful, it had always been that way, seeing a gorgeous male made her react as if she were only thirteen and inexperienced. Of course she was still inexperienced now but her nerves rattled as she stared at this gorgeous male. _"I'm sorry for being late; I was supposed to meet you down here 45 minutes ago."_ She spoke directing her comment to him. _"Where were we supposed to go today?"_ She asked softly moving back and forth on her heels as she studied the gorgeous male a little longer.

"We were supposed to go to Hogsmeade today, don't you remember Saoirse?" His voice was a low baritone as his steel gray hues focused on her aquamarine ones.

"_It must have slipped my thoughts, I didn't sleep well last night, there was too much racket in the dorms._" Came the reply of the solemn uptight Saoirse. "_Shall we go?_" She asked faintly her lips curved in a firm smile that didn't quite meet her aquamarine eyes.

A/N: Who is this mysterious man you may ask? Review to find out.


	2. Haunted Dreams

Disclaimer: I do not own the wonderful world of Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. I only own my character, Saoirse.

30 April, 2011 3:00 am

Saoirse's body jolted and twisted in her sleep as she let out a blood curtling scream her lips curled back as she thrashed in her bed. She looked as she were fighting the Devil. Her lips moved as she voiced out "No, please No, s-stop, Mom, don't hurt her?" Her body went rigid as she fell into a deeper sleep her body rigid as a broom. Her body unmoving as she started living her dream. The dream world was coming to darkness, Saoirse's mother laid in a pool of blood with a knife wound towards her throat. Her mother's intestines laid pooling out as Saoirse stared in horror at her deceased mother. Her blue eyes focusing on the figure that hid in the shadows. Saoirse growled at the figure screaming "Who are you? Why did you kill her? Why my mother you fucking arsehole?" Her voice rising in her dream as the figure floated within the darkness the spiraling out towards her mother's body. Saoirse yelled louder in her dream her voice rising as she glanced at the figure harder.

Then she saw her, the figure, it was an older woman who looked like her mother as if she were the woman's twin. She glanced down her navy blue eyes narrowing on Saoirse and she let out a dark laugh. Her hands covered in blood and dripping with remnants of skin and organs. The woman tilted her head slightly to the left letting out another dark laugh. "**Who am I? Oh surely you must be joking little one? I'm you, a part of you you refuse to acknowledge. You are as worthless as your mother. Haven't you noticed everyone treats you like you're fecking crazy. Ha you fecking eejit you are so pathetic.**" The woman sauntered around her before bending beside Saoirse's mother and pulling out the knife. "**I use you as my fecking puppet, and so does the other one, that one.**"

She pointed a blond woman dressed in 18th century clothing. Her age was around fourteen and her eyes were pure aquamarine. "_Oh really you introduce me with that bloody thing you illiterate baffoon. Why are we even talking to her she'll never know we are truly apart of her and she'll never live a normal life because we overpower her._" The blond woman looked over to Saoirse with a disgruntled scowl. "It should have been me." She added as the blonde sneered at both girls.

Saoirse looked at the dark haired navy blue eyed woman who circled like a predator. The blond looked judgmental as they approached her. The dark haired woman pulled Saoirse down to the ground and placed the knife against her neck. "**It would be so amazing to kill you. To feel your heart beat leave your body. If only I wasn't inside your fecking body. Mora I want to kill her how are we going to do that though?**" The woman glanced at the blond who stared at the two of them. "_Morrigan really I think we could kill her and have the body to ourselves but not tonight, we just want her to know who we are._" Mora's gaze fell on Saoirse's pale face. "_Move off her Morrigan._"

Morrigan moved off Saoirse her knife being put behind her in a belt sheath. She glanced over to the blond who went by the name Mora. "**You ruin all the fun you prude. Fine, I'm Morrigan, I'm the one who is sadistic and enjoys killing others. I was out the other night terrorizing your classmates. You are now officially unhinged to them.**" Her navy eyes looked soullessly at Saoirse's blue eyes. "**Mora has made the boyos think you are a stuck up beotch.**" Morrigan concluded as Mora let out a cold laugh. "_We are done here now let's leave her with one more glance of what we'll do to her when we are serious._" Mora's voice for once wasn't clipped but mixed with Morrigan's. The next image Saoirse watched was Morrigan slicing the throats of all her friends while Mora tilted her head upwards and let out a low sniff. The last to fall was the only friend Saoirse had considered the closest to her. As he fell she found herself waking up screaming.

30 April, 2011 4:00 AM

Saorise glanced around her dorm room her face covered in a cool sweat as she pulled the covers closer to her body. The voices screaming in her head with cold laughter. Oh bloody effin hell she had two distinct personalities beside hers. B-but how did that happen? She tried to rub her temples and she fought the urge to vomit over her bed. She jumped off the comfortable bed that had turned into a funeral pyre. She took the piece of parchment from her nightstand and ran down the steps and wrote a letter.

Mum,

I love you but I won't be home for the holidays. I just had a horrible dream and well I don't want to see it happen. Don't worry ma, tell da not to worry either. I'll get healthy and then-then I'll come home. Ma I love you.

Love, Saoirse

Saoirse sent it out with her owl, Fai. She watched eagerly as the owl flew off and she ran downstairs towards the portrait for the library. What was it called her former muggle therapist called it something something disorder. She ran towards the books and began to look at the books with mental diseases. God save her she couldn't live with this; couldn't live with the voices or the idea of her killing anyone she loved. The voices Morrigan and Mora had to be stopped. When she had gathered every single book on mental disease she began pouring into the books her eyes glued to pages as she marked the ones that held her symptoms. She remembered a time where she came across a dead body as a child. The corpse had been covered in blood and it had been a knife wound. Morrigan Saoirse concluded was that woman she saw lying dead. That had been the first trauma, the first time she heard voices had been that day, when she was only six years old. Saoirse recalled the second voice's coming at the age of eight when Saoirse witnessed something terrifying, the actual murder of a beautiful blond woman. She had felt horrified and told the police what she saw having the murderer arrested. Instead of feeling safe Saoirse recalled she felt horrified by dreams. The two different incidents had created the voices, the personalities of the woman who died.

She glanced down at the book and saw it, the name and the word left Saoirse's lips. "Dissociative Identity Disorder. The muggles say the only cure is p-psychotherapy, hypnosis, or medications." Saoirse let out a soft yell. "No that won't help, none of that will help me god-damnit. I'll keep looking surely the wizarding world has a better cure." She whispered as she found her answer. "Identity removal, it's highly temperamental but this will remove the unwanted personalities and the aurors will either let the personalities roam freely in their own bodies or they will be killed. Depending on if they were safe for society." She read it and looked down at the Healers that did the procedure and the costs. Writing down the names on her parchment she ran up the stairs and grabbed her bag.

She'd find Albus and ask him to help her find these Healers and then she'd disappear, whether it was for a few days or weeks she'd cure herself of this crazy disorder and rid herself of the voices, the blackouts, the what ifs, and finally have peace to move on with her life. She packed herself a bag and looked around for Fai and read her mother's response.

Saoirse,

Darling we don't understand what you are talking of but please our darling be careful.

Love, Mum and Da

Saoirse knew after reading the note she'd do this for herself, no one else she wanted to be free from the Hell inside her head and if she had to go to every Healer and demand they save her from herself and they refused she'd end it all with her own hand. God save her.

A/N: I know this hasn't truly introduced any of the characters this will eventually be a Scorpius/OC fan fiction but for now this is Saoirse trying to get her life together first. Albus shall be introduced in Chapter 3! Read and Review. Also I'd love a beta please!


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