Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** _Everything you recognise ain't mine. Comprehende?  
_  
**Summary:** _Ginny was happy. She had everything she everwanted...except for one thing. And now on her graduation day, that one thing returns. Will Ginny ever have it?_

**Author's Note:**_ This story is femslash. If you don't like it stop now. Ok? Good. Right. This story will also delve into eating disorders and possibly a little self harm. So once again, if you don't like it, then go away. Hmph. _

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Ginny stared blankly across the abandoned school grounds, her red hair whipping against her freckled face. Her graduation was twelve hours away. She was supposed to be sleeping, but well…it was her last night in Hogwarts…she was too sad, excited and scared to even comprehend sleeping.

Everything she used to know, everything she used to feel, suddenly didn't matter. Now she had the big wide world to survive. What was she meant to do now? She blinked, her eyes beginning to fill with warm tears. It was actually over. She'd thought about this day since she'd arrived. Back then it had seemed like light-years away, but now looking back to that first day…well it seemed like only yesterday.

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn't make a move to wipe it away. This time she didn't need to hide her tears. This time she could let it all out with no fear of someone walking in and catching her. This time she could let it all go.

She stayed there till the sun slowly crept over the horizon, and the noise of waking students flew out of open windows. Ginny hadn't realised just how long she'd been standing there and was stunned by the light. Realising she had to get ready for the graduation breakfast; she sprung back into the world of the living and left the solace of the roof to the stress of the morning.

"Ginny! Where were you? You missed the midnight feast!" A cry came out as soon as she stepped foot into the Gryffindor common room. A bright eyed, red cheeked Colin came bouncing over to her as she struggled to come up with a decent lie. Sighing she told him exactly where she was. "I was on the roof, just watching the stars, waiting till the sun came up." Well it was a little bit of an exaggeration, but he accepted it just fine before leaving her to go talk to a dark haired girl in the year below, whose name Ginny couldn't quite recall at the moment.

Dragging her feet, she walked over to the girls' stairs and made her way all the way to the top, to the seventh year dorm. She hoped there was a shower free. She needed something to wake herself up, make her look presentable to all the people she'd be seeing today. Graduation was at noon and the school was expected to be heaving with parents, siblings and former students. Two of them she knew would be Harry and Hermione. She hadn't seen her brother's best friends since his funeral. The two of them had been off hunting for any remaining Death Eaters and had forgotten her back at school. They had owled her once or twice, on birthdays and what not, but to Ginny it seemed that they no longer cared for her. And they had every right too. She wasn't worthy of their friendship. She was only their friend because of Ron, and now that he was gone there was nothing left to connect the three of them.

There was a shower free, but no mirror space she found as she walked into the tiled bathroom. But Ginny didn't need a mirror to see the bags under her eyes and her gaunt cheeks. She walked straight to her usual shower and turned on the hot water as she undressed. Once naked she stepped under the burning water, not flinching as it turned her pale skin red. She took her rough sponge and began to scrub at her skin, trying to rid it of its invisible dirt and the small amounts of fat that stretched over her skeletal frame. In her eyes it bulged and wobbled. In her eyes she saw her distortion. Her eyes she saw a lie.

Half an hour later she stepped out of the shower cubicle, dressed back into the clothes she had been wearing last night, her hair wet and leaving patches on her back and shoulders that were darker than everywhere else. The mirror was still being filled by her four room mates, all plucking, painting and primping. She rolled her eyes as she walked to her four poster bed to change into her 'best clothes' which her mother had bought her last week.

She shut the curtains behind her and pulled out the clothes she'd been told to wear: a pair of long black pants and a long sleeved, figure hugging green shirt that supposedly complemented her hair and eyes. She dryed her hair magically, leaving it to its own devises as she skilfully put on some muggle mascara without a mirror. Fully dressed she fell back onto her bed and stared at the wooden beam above her. This would probably be the last time she'd ever see it. The last time she ever lay on her bed as a seventh year…as a student full stop.

She lay there, staring until she heard her name being called by a dorm mate with curled blonde hair.

"Coming," she replied dutifully, forcing herself to get off her bed and back out into the real world. She'd promised the other four girls that they'd do this together, and the other four had promised the boys they'd go as Gryffindor, united through out. This made Ginny laugh. If they were so united then surely one of them would have noticed her this past year as she shrunk into her own skin and pulled her back out again. But in reality she was just a nobody to them, to the rest of the school, to the rest of the world.

The blonde held out her arm for Ginny to take, which she did take reluctantly, and forcing a smile on her face she headed out of the dorm, the five Gryffindor girls, ready it seemed for anything. As they walked down the stairs she wondered if she'd ever see or talk to them after graduation. They'd probably all go off and pursue a rich husband, or a modelling career with some glossy magazine. Whereas she'd be alone, as per usual, with a dead end job. They wouldn't have time for her in their busy lives. Not that she minded. Over the past year she'd gotten used to the loneliness of life.

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_**Author's Note:** Two strangers ahead in the next chapter. Tears. Hugs. Love. Watch this space._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** _Everything you recognise ain't mine. Comprehende?  
_  
**Summary:** _The came to her graduation. Her 'friends'. But are they there for her? Or are they there to resolve their guilt?_

**Author's Note:**_ So I got a review from someone, I can't quite recall who [and for that I am incredibly sorry! I think it was cutepuplover. But the name isn't that important, it was what they said that really got me. They said that my fic was one of the few worth reading and that made my week and so I feel like I should give something back. And I had feared all week that my chapter two had been deleted. But I don't know…luck must be on my side for once and so here I am, posting my chapter two. _

_Also this story was written a long time ago, like after book six came out and so yes…just a warning that it does not go with book seven and also this is a little warning for chapter three [which I never wrote…well not yet anyway that the style will be different to chapter one and two._

_AND OH MY GOD. I wrote this long before Deathly Hallows…right? Yes. I did. Ok. So now I want you to read the second line. I was just going over it, starting to edit it for you all…and I think I predicted Fred's death. O. Em. Gee. Freaky._

Ginny dragged her feet on the stone floor as she walked to the last remaining members of her family. Bill, George and Percy stood around their mother, whose eyes, Ginny could tell, were already tearing up.

"Ginny, do pick up your feet and smile, you have visitors," Her mother managed to choke out, her voice breaking as she bit back a sob. Bill stepped forward at this, throwing Ginny a quick, understanding smile before leading her over to speak to Professor McGonagall. George half smiled at her before following suit, Percy simply nodded in recognition and gave a small smile before disappearing too. Left behind were two tall, very tanned figures. One she recognized immediately as Harry, due to the scar peeking out from under his dark hair, which he'd grown out to his shoulders. His face looked weathered, and he looked as if he'd aged more than one year – at the very least five. His piercing green eyes looked straight at her, and Ginny could see from where she had stopped that those eyes had lost their shine. She could see all the terrible things this world held as she stared into his eyes and it caused a shiver to run up her spine.

"Long time no see," he said lightly, trying to sound as if he hadn't completely ignored her since that fateful night. Ginny shrugged, hiding any emotion she might have felt for the Boy-Who-Lived. He walked closer, embracing her in a hug which she did not return, for she was too busy staring at the girl he had arrived with. Her heart seemed to flip and flop like a fish out of water as she recognised this stranger as Hermione Granger.

"Hey," Hermione greeted quietly, her hands shoved deep in her robe pockets. Ginny could barely hear her over her thoughts and the excited squeals from other students as they found their relatives in the entrance hall of Hogwarts. Harry stepped back and allowed Hermione to come and greet Ginny properly.

She was taller now, just a little bit. Ginny found herself looking up to stare into Hermione's soft brown eyes. They were not as damaged as Harry's…or if they were, she managed to hide it well. Her hair, which had always been brown frizzy curls, was straightened and honey gold from the suns of all the different worlds she and Harry had explored, searching for people, objects and creatures that were wanted by the ministry.

Ginny didn't know what to do now that she stood less than a metre from her. She tried her hardest to remain ambivalent, exactly like she had for Harry, but she found it hard seeing Hermione face-to-face. Instead of the dull pain she'd felt with Harry, she was hit with all the feelings she had distanced herself from, buried in the earth along with all her dreams so long ago. Ginny's one true love was standing right there and she had absolutely no idea what effect she was having on the smaller red haired girl.

They stood there awkwardly before Hermione moved to hug Ginny. She flinched as arms were wrapped around her. She wouldn't allow herself to forget the pain, the hurt, and the tears she had shed over Hermione's sudden departure. She couldn't suddenly forgive her. However, her body seemed to betray her, her eyes flooding with tears of all the emotion she'd been bottling up. Tears of loss, of unrequited love and loneliness. Tears for her family, her friends but above all, herself.

Hermione was stunned at Ginny's tears. Thinking back, she'd never seen Ginny cry like this. Not even at her brothers' funerals. Not even at her father's funeral months later. This, she realised was pure emotion, the stuff you kept hidden away from the world. Harry too seemed to realise and he joined the two in their embrace, comforting both as stray tears spilled from Hermione's eyes.

They stood there, simply holding each other for over five minutes before Ginny pulled back. Hermione and Harry looked at her curiously, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." She blurted, wiping her eyes with her sleeves. Hermione reached out a hand to her, causing her to flinch again.

"Don't be silly. We're your friends." She said softly, failing to hide her hurt as she took her hand back and stuck it back into her jean pocket. Harry just nodded dumbly beside her.

"You haven't been my friends for over a year." Ginny snapped before pushing through them and running out of the great big doors and out into the sun. She had no idea where she was running, blinded by her tears she merely hoped she wouldn't bump into a tree and embarrass herself further. She heard voices calling after her but pretended not to as she ran faster.

When she finally stopped she found herself deep in the forest. She hadn't meant to run so far. Spinning around she tried to find something familiar, and when she failed she simply sunk to the ground. Perfect, she thought sarcastically. First she embarrasses herself, then runs away like a baby and gets herself lost.

It was eerily quiet in the forest, but it was a silence like the one upon the rooftop, it felt safe. She brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms tight around them as she buried her head into her knees pretending to be invisible. She needn't have bothered, for here in the vast forest she was as good as invisible. Just the way she liked it.

_Hermione and Harry were left staring at a disappearing back before it finally twigged what she had said. Harry called out to her but she seemed not to hear. Hermione turned to her friend, her eyes brimming with tears. "She's right you know. We haven't been proper friends since Ron died." _

_His face instantly shut down at the mention of his best friend's name. Ron's death had been extremely hard on Harry, because Ron had died trying to protect him. He had died, and Harry had lived. It seemed unfair to him that after everything, he be the one left. He felt guilty for being the one returning to the Burrow the next day. The Weasley's, who had become his family over the years, had lost so many, yet he lived. It just didn't seem fair._

"_Harry, I'm sorry," She apologised immediately. She usually kept such tight control of talking about Ron, trying to be strong for her surviving friend, even though inside she was still broken. _

"_Don't be. It's not your fault." Harry mumbled, adding mentally 'it was mine'. He knew that. And no one could deny it. Hermione sensing her friend's pain decided to turn their attention to Ron's sister. _

"_Y'know, we left her here. We didn't even owl. Not even once." Her face began to crumple as she realised how horrible she'd been. She felt terrible. Ginny had lost a brother and two friends in one day. It must have seemed like they didn't even care. "I should go after her." She blurted before running out of the school after her friend, hoping it wouldn't be too late to patch up the friendship she used to have._

Ginny was now rocking back and forth in her spot, her body shaking with sobs. They didn't even care. But why would they? She was pathetic, fat, silly, and weak. Everything they were not. She didn't deserve their friendship.

A twig snapped. The noise seemed to echo around the trees, causing her to look up.

"Hello?" She began to fear the worst immediately, noises in the forest weren't always a good thing. A low growl from behind a tree caused her to jump to her feet instantly. Fear crept over her body and she found herself paralysed as another twig snapped, this time closer. It seemed darker now, as if someone had simply blew out the light. And chilling breeze made her shiver. Something wasn't right. She looked into the darkness where the noise had come from and saw a shadowy figure. She wanted to scream out, but found herself mysteriously drawn to it. She stepped forward and suddenly it was light again.

**Author's Note: **_Oh noes! Who is it? Find out next chapter…_


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Harry Potter, Angst, Romance