Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

Muggle inventions had never been something that she had ever taken the time to think twice about before. But while she didn't want to admit it, they were playing bigger and bigger roles in her day to day life. She had heard of the thing before, but she had never imagined that she would need to use one no matter how simple the muggle women on the train had made it seem. But it wasn't simple. Well, it was. But it hadn't been simple for her. In fact, it had ended up being one of the hardest things she had ever had to face this far in her life.

She sat with her back against the bathroom door and her arms were wrapped tightly around her knees as she stared at the sink in complete horror. The young woman had yet to cry, but she could feel the pressure of the tears building up behind her eyes. The end of the world couldn't even be this bad. She had never prepared for something of this magnitude and she knew that he hadn't prepared for this either. In fact, they had never even discussed the idea. It was sort of an unspoken mutual understanding that they were to never even bring it up.

Two years ago Pansy Parkinson had found herself deeply infatuated with old acquaintance, Blaise Zabini. It had started out as harmful flirting when they ran into one another at the Ministry. But their harmful flirting had developed into a series of late night rendezvous and promises that their relationship would never develop into anything more. However, one of them had decided – neither could remember which one it had been – that it would be a good idea to live together. It would at least give the illusion that there was something more there. But really it just made it easier for them to use one another considering they were much closer. Blaise kept Pansy quiet with his money and Pansy kept Blaise happy by catering to his needs and wants. It seemed like a win-win situation for both. There were never any complaints and they respected one another, to an extent. Marriage and children and a future were never an option. Both Pansy and Blaise despised children and Blaise had long ago learned from his mother that marriage was a suffocating disease. Besides, it would never work between Pansy and Blaise. They had come close to murdering one another many times before and they were merely sleeping together.

Their relationship was not based upon wanting to be together. But rather wanting the other. It was pure lust and no trace of love or affection was evident. Of course, they had their moments and found themselves lowering their guards. But they were few and far between. They weren't meant to be _together_. But Pansy could see no way out of this now. They would be forever bound to one another and she knew that Blaise would not take lightly to that.

She reached up to brush some hair from her face and she let out a shuddering sigh at the same time. She could already hear the coolness in his voice and she could imagine how malicious the look in his eyes would be. He would kick her out. But that would be the least of her worries. Something about him told her not to underestimate him. His temper was a nasty one and very short. Once the fuse was lit you had very little time to run before he lost it.

Pansy was certainly not ready to drop the bomb, but the slam of the front door told her that she had no choice. She could definitely hide it for some time, but not forever. He would know eventually and that would probably be worse than him finding out now. Maybe now they would be able to figure something out. There had to be some sort of… alternative to the situation. Of course she knew her options. But there were some that she would rather not consider unless he brought them up first.

Taking a moment to gather her thoughts together, she pulled herself to her feet and brushed the thing from the sink and into the trash can. She was making no effort to hide something she was already going to tell him. As she opened the bathroom door she could already hear him pouring himself a glass of wine. It was his daily routine and something that she had never quite been able to understand. He claimed it calmed his nerves from the day, but she believed it was only contributing to his future drinking problem.

She made her way down the stairs and stopped just outside the door to his study. This was supposed to be his space and his space only. She had hardly ever set foot in the dimly lit room, but she had passed it many times. Usually, he worked with the door closed tightly and all she was able to do was stare at the small amount of light that crept out from beneath the door and wonder what he was up to in there. One thing she would never be able to deny was that Blaise was a hard worker. He may not be pleased with his job or his current assignment. But he put all his effort into it no matter what. Perhaps his determination was one of the things she admired most about him.

She lifted a hand and knocked twice on the doorframe and he turned his head slowly and deliberately to look at her. His dark features were even more prominent in the small amount of light that the small lamp on his desk gave off. Blaise raised an eyebrow rather than asking her what she wanted and she took a long breath to steady herself.

"Hello," She began quietly. Pansy watched him for a response but he only nodded his head in greeting and waited for her to continue. She was turning over the different things to say in her mind but that seemed to only be making her more nervous. So, she decided to just go for it.

"Blaise, what is the last thing that you would ever want to hear from me?" She asked quickly. He stared at her for another minute before he turned back around in his chair and took another sip of wine.

"You found someone better looking and with more money?" He asked sarcastically with a cool smirk as he glanced over his shoulder at her.

"No," She said flatly. As much as she could use the sarcasm right now she just wished that he would take this a little more seriously.

"I'm too old to play these games, Pansy. We've been out of school for five years. If you have something to tell me then just tell me," Blaise said with a sigh of annoyance.

"Blaise, I don't know how it happened but I think I'm having a baby," She spoke quickly and ran her words together in one breath. Holding her breath after she said it, she released it slowly and steadied herself for the blow.

There was an unnaturally long silence as he finished his glass of wine before setting it down much more carefully than was necessary. "I think we both know how it happened, Pansy."

He seemed to be forcing himself to keep his composure though she could see the corner of his mouth twitching. She had been expecting yelling and swearing and she had even been ready to start dodging flying objects. Her eyes had moved to his wand many times and she was relieved that he had made no effort to reach for it. Part of her wanted the screaming and the cursing but the other part was glad that he was controlling himself – for now.

"Well…we shouldn't have let it happen," She argued. "This is… this is ridiculous!"

"How many times did you think that it wouldn't happen to you? Did you really think that you were invincible? For a while I thought we were. I suppose this is partially my fault as well. I should have brought it up a long time ago."

"B-but… It's never happened before! Nothing. I never had a reason to worry. We were _careful_," She could feel her heart sinking. He was being too understanding, something was wrong.

Blaise shrugged. Apparently they just hadn't been careful enough. He turned away from her and poured himself another glass of wine. "Something stronger would satisfy me much more at the moment. But I suppose this will do," He muttered more to himself than to her.

She stood in the doorway with an arm placed across her stomach. She wanted to believe that there was nothing there. She wanted to believe that the stupid stick was wrong. She was _not_ pregnant. A baby would ruin their lives. "You are getting rid of it," His voice was hard as he stood up and turned to face her. His eyes were cold and she couldn't help but shiver as she looked at him. Normally she found him extremely attractive when he was like this. But now she was frightened.

"I will not raise a baby and I know that you wouldn't be able to do it either. You would not make an ideal mother," He wasn't trying to insult her. He was just being honest. Pansy was too self-absorbed to care about anyone or anything other than herself. There was no way she would be able to put a child's needs before her own. At least not for long. She grew bored far too easily.

"That's a big decision for you to make," She replied, angling herself away from him with a deep frown.

"It's a decision that I don't need to think about. We both know we're not apt parents. Besides, I hate children and so do you. Our child would turn out worse than you and I combined. We have sex for fun, Pansy. Not for romantic purposes or for the purpose of creating a future. You don't desire a future with me and I don't desire one with you."

She swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. She knew he was right, but hearing the words were more painful than she had imagined. He had never spoken like that to her before. They had always worked out an understanding in very few words. Blaise had no problem hurting her feelings and she knew that. Normally she would shoot back her own insults and comments and let the rest roll right off of her shoulders, but not now.

"I can't promise you that I'll do what you want. But I will… consider it."

"There is nothing to consider. You will not have my child. If you want to be a mother then find someone more willing. I refuse to be held responsible for your inability to be realistic. That's the end of this conversation."


	2. Chapter 2

Blaise had reacted much better than she had anticipated and she had to admit that she was rather disappointed in him. There was something about the lack of temper that was throwing her off. It was almost as if he had expecting something like this to happen. But then that wasn't fair. Now they – or rather, she – was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Blaise had made his mind up before she had even said anything. He wanted her to get rid of the baby. But Pansy didn't think she would be capable of going through such a thing.

But she could see the reactions of her own mother and father and Blaise's mother already despised her. So she could only imagine the things that would come out of that woman's mouth if she found out. There wasn't a single soul that Pansy could turn to for help. Blaise was all she had and he was going to make no effort to support her. She was completely alone in this and she was starting to feel the emptiness.

She sat on the edge of the bed with her hands folded anxiously in her lap. Blaise had gone through at least an entire bottle of wine by now. Not too long ago he had turned on the radio and she had heard the door to his study close with an audible click. He was still too calm. But she needed to forget about how Blaise was acting and focus more on herself. It was time to go back to being self-absorbed for the time being. If she thought about Blaise too much she would exhaust herself.

Strangely enough, she wanted nothing more than to talk to her mother. She wanted her mother to comfort her and tell her that everything would be just fine. But her mother was not that type of woman. Her mother would scold her for her carelessness and even toss out a few names of disgrace. How could she allow herself to become pregnant by a man she was not married to? Sure, their child would be pureblood. That would never be an issue. Marriage, however, would be.

"Oh, Pansy… you're so stupid," She murmured to herself with a shake of her head as she closed her eyes and fell back onto the bed.

"Oh, Pansy. You're so stupid," A voice echoed back. His voice held a note of amusement and she looked over at Blaise as he stepped into the room. "I don't see why you're putting so much thought into this. I already told you that the solution was a simple one."

"And I told you that I'm not deciding anything until I've had time to think about it," She shot back.

She could see the anger flash in his eyes and she sat up on the bed. He gripped the glass in his hand before letting out a low growl from somewhere deep in his throat before he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. Pansy watched him with a scowl and she made up her mind that she was going to visit her parents regardless of what their responses would be.

Within minutes her bag was packed and she was checking things off on the mental list that she had made while throwing her things together. Snatching her coat from the back of the chair in the room, she slipped it on and buttoned it up. She wasn't going far. But it was still cold outside in the evening.

"Where are you going?" Blaise called as she passed is study on her way to the stairs.

"Home," She called over her shoulder.

She stopped as she heard him stand up and drag his feet to the hallway. Turning halfway around she raised an eyebrow at him as he looked over her before his eyes moved to the bag in her hand.

"Home? To your mother? Why?"

"Why not? You're drunk anyway."

He laughed coolly and shook his head, "And you're being stupid. Please, tell me what the difference is."

"The difference is that… there's a difference," She said with a frown as she tightened her grip on her bag and glanced towards the door.

"What do you expect your mother to do? Do you expect her to hold you and tell you that everything will be fine? Do you expect her to offer you words of advice? Do you want her to comfort you in your time of need?" He raised an eyebrow. "You know she won't do any of those things. Of course she'd be a lot less critical compared to my mother but it would still be just as bad. You're better off just staying here."

He was right. She could feel her heart sinking right down into her stomach and she swallowed back a wave of tears. What little she had of seeking solace in her mother was shot back down. Her mother was the type of woman to scowl at the news and point out all of Pansy's mistakes. Their relationship was a different kind of relationship. On occasion her mother would kiss her on the forehead or say something kind and warm to her. But those moments were close to being nonexistent.

Replacing a response with an irritated sigh, Pansy turned and pushed past Blaise with her bag still in hand. "Leave me alone," She called over her shoulder as she headed back to the bedroom. She tore her coat off with more force than necessary and tossed it on the floor. She sank back down onto the bed with a heavy heart and a horrible feeling in her stomach. There was nothing. Blaise was not going to offer her a shoulder to cry on and her mother definitely would not. She had no friends. Not that she had ever needed friends before in her life anyway. She had always been just fine on her own.

Pansy buried her face in her hands and let out a long sigh of frustration. "My life is over," She groaned as she fell back onto the bed. There was nothing like acting as a thirteen year old with too much drama. She had always been known for her over dramatic ways and not a thing had changed with age. There were times when she acted the same way she had while in school. Those were the moments when Blaise walked away and locked himself away inside his study until she had finished her tantrum or whatever it may be. It usually ended with the ever so wonderful make-up sex. But then again that was how everything ended in their relationship – with sex. All problems were fixed with very little effort and neither of them complained at all.

But that's exactly what had gotten them into this mess. They had gotten too carried away. But that was normal, right? No one had ever said that there was anything wrong with enjoying yourself to the extent in which you tuned out the rest of the world. Unless something like this ended up happening.

She pressed her palms against her eyes as she closed them and let out a long sigh. The tears began flowing instantly. Pansy had never been a fan of crying or showing much emotion for that matter. But she had yet to cry and now that the tears had started it was nearly impossible to make them stop. Seconds turned into minutes and the minutes passed by. There was no need to pay attention to the time. It didn't matter anymore. There was no time for anything. She barely felt she had time to breathe with such a huge decision resting on her shoulders.

It was her decision and her decision only. Blaise could do nothing about it should she choose to go against his wishes. But did she really want to go through with this and have the baby? None of them would have a happy life. They would be miserable and therefore their child would be just as unhappy. But she couldn't stomach the idea of getting rid of it. Her hands moved instinctively to her stomach and she took a shuddering breath as she calmed herself back down.

"Think, damn you…" She murmured to herself as she blinked the tears from her eyes before opening them and staring up at the dark ceiling silently. There was no more time to decide. She had to figure this out _now_ before something else happened. However, she didn't see how anything could happen when the worst of the damage had already been done. She rubbed her stomach absentmindedly before letting out another sigh and closing her eyes.

"So…have you made up your mind?" Boy, did he have some terribletiming.


	3. Chapter 3

Her eyes narrowed at him. "Do you have a problem with giving people their space?" She asked coolly as his footsteps grew closer. She felt the bed move as he sat down and she turned her head to look at him. His face was turned away from her, but she could already picture his expression.

"This is my house," He replied as he turned his head to look at her. "You are in my room and you are on my bed. I don't need to give you any space at all if I don't want to. Remember that."

Pansy said nothing. What could she say? He had a point. She had moved all of her belongings into his house on the condition that she would answer to him. She was free to do as she pleased until he wanted her. In a sense, she belonged to him. To Blaise, Pansy was just another one of his many possessions. Pansy had always accepted that, until now.

She had never once raised her voice to him nor had she ever denied him anything. They had always gotten along just fine. But her temper with him was growing short and her patience was running thin. Who was he to think that he could make her decisions for her? Who was he to tell her what she could and could not do?

"I don't need to stay here," She said finally.

"But you will. Maybe not because you want to but because you have nowhere else to go. Who is going to want you?" He raised an eyebrow and she fixed him with an icy cold glare.

"You think they won't want me because I'm _pregnant_?" She spat the word at him as she sat up.

"Yes," He said flatly. "You're pregnant and you're stupid and you're too naïve to do the right thing. You think this is a game, Pansy? You can't bring a child into this world when you still act like one," His voice was rising more and more with every word and she soon found herself standing in front of him.

Her hands were clenched into tight fists and while she knew she would never dare to hit him she could at least try to frighten him. But Blaise would never be frightened by her.

"How am I stupid? I'm scared! There's a difference. But you wouldn't understand that because you're a cruel and heartless bastard and you only ever think about yourself. Sure I'm selfish. I get that. But I'm at least trying to make an effort to think of someone other than myself for once," She was nothing short of yelling by the end of it and she had to take a deep breath to steady herself.

"Are you finished?" He asked calmly before standing up and facing her. She nodded her head wordlessly and looked up at him. He towered over her and she recoiled slightly in fear, but otherwise she did her best to stand her ground.

"I am being selfish. But I am also thinking about your well-being and the well-being of the child. I am not father material and you are not made to be a mother. We were designed to be alone for the rest of our lives. If you have some ridiculous notion that you will find unconditional love by having a baby you're wrong. That doesn't exist. Love doesn't exist. You don't know how to love anyone other than yourself and neither do I. Why do you think we are the way we are? A romantic relationship would never work between us. Now, accept it for what it is and do the right thing."

Unconditional love wasn't what she had been looking for. It never had been. She moved her hand to rest against the baby bump that did not yet exist and she looked down at her feet before exhaling slowly.

"Fine. I'll… I'll get rid of it," She had been defeated.

"That wasn't so hard to decide. Was it?" He asked with a small triumphant smirk. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to return to. I'll set up your appointment tomorrow," And without another word he was gone.

Pansy sank back down onto the bed and made no effort to stop the silent tears that stained her pale cheeks. She had caved and he had barely made an effort. It was unfair how well he had her trained. Sickening really, how obedient she was. He had convinced her to 'do the right thing.' But what did that even mean? Pansy never had to consider right from wrong before. She had always done as she had pleased without consequence.

But obviously that had all caught up with her. "Do the right thing…" She repeated with a frown. Blaise was probably right. He was _always_ right. She had long ago learned to accept that he was much more intelligent than she was. But did book smarts really matter at this point? This wasn't something a text book and good marks could help you with. This was personal. Perhaps it was a little _too_ personal…


	4. Chapter 4

The chair was hard and it was nearly impossible for her to feel comfortable in the dreary room. Colorful paintings were hanging on the walls in a fruitless attempt to add color and life to the place. But the dismal feeling just seemed to hang in the air and no amount of paintings would be able to take such a thing away.

Her eyes scanned the room and her heart sank at the sight of the four couples sitting huddled together on the other side of the room. She was the only one completely alone. One of the young women lifted her head and turned her eyes towards Pansy. She fixed the lonely woman with a mixed look of understanding, sympathy and disgust. Pansy held her gaze for a moment before feeling too uncomfortable and looking away.

She turned her attention to a pamphlet that lay half open on the seat beside her and she picked it up with little interest. She didn't want to actually read what the pamphlet said, she just wanted to focus on something else until it was her turn to step behind the dreaded door with the too friendly old lady.

She flipped through the whole four pages of the pamphlet with a heavy frown and jumped as a voice broke the heavy silence. "Pansy Parkinson," Her eyes moved to the old lady standing in the doorway with a folder in her arms. "Oh, there you are, sweetie. Come along now. Oh, excuse me," She moved aside to let a young girl and her mother pass. The mother was holding on tightly to the girl's hand as they both sobbed. She watched the pair for a long moment before she folded the pamphlet back up and slipped it into her purse before standing up and walking awkwardly towards the old woman.

"Have a seat in that room on the right, dear. We need to discuss a few things before we can proceed," The woman ushered to her a seat that was much more comfortable than the first as she took a seat directly across from her.

Pansy placed her purse in her lap and held onto it tightly. She wished that she weren't alone. She had begged Blaise to come with her, but he had only refused and raised his voice. But even though he had made it perfectly clear that he wanted to have no part in this she still tried to get him to change his mind. She swallowed hard and waited for the woman to begin.

Shuffling through the papers in the folder, the woman finally looked up and tilted her head slightly to one side as she gazed at Pansy. She offered her a motherly smile which caused the corners of her eyes to crinkle.

"Now you know that what you are about to do cannot be reversed, right?" Pansy nodded at the question and looked down at the purse in her lap. "Are you sure that this is what you want? There are… other options," The woman said quietly.

"I told him…I would… do the right thing," Pansy said with a loud sniffle. She lifted her head and took a deep breath before nodding. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth again that she would just burst out into an uncontrollable fit of tears.

There was a long pause before the woman nodded and cleared her throat. "Okay then. Nothing more I can say about that. I just need you to sign a few papers, dear," She spread the papers out onto a table in front of them and offered Pansy a pen. But the young woman couldn't move. She just stared down at the papers on the desk with a sinking feeling in her heart and her stomach. She was going to be sick and she could feel the color draining from her face.

"I…I can't," She said finally as she looked over at the woman in horror. "I can't," She repeated with more strength behind her words. The woman watched her for a moment before her smile returned and she gathered up the papers without a word. She replaced the cap on the pen and stood up before leaving the room. Pansy sat staring at the wall for what seemed like an eternity before the woman returned and handed her a plastic cup with water.

"Take a drink and relax. If this isn't what you want then you are free to go. My job is to remind young women such as yourself that abortion isn't the only option," She sat back down and placed a wrinkled hand on Pansy's knee. Pansy eyed the water for a minute before nodding and gulping it all down at once. It wasn't very cold, but it seemed to do the trick. Blaise was going to all but murder her, but she would just have to deal with it.

"Those girls out there…" Pansy said with a frown. "They're all so young. The one gave me this look… like she would have chosen differently if she could have… I can't explain it," She couldn't explain why she was telling the woman either. But she seemed to understand because she nodded and sat back with a solemn look on her face.

"Many of those girls are pressured into the decision by their spouses or by their parents. Many of them would rather have the baby and offer the child a chance at a good life. Some would rather not. It's all based on personal preference. You would make a fine mother. I can see it in your eyes," The woman smiled again and patted Pansy on the knee before she stood up. "Now, if you're sure that this is not what you want you are free to go."

"Thank you," Pansy said as she tossed the cup in the garbage can before standing up and slipping the strap of her purse over her arm. "I… appreciate it. I really do."

"Take good care of yourself and that little one," The woman said as she opened the door.

Pansy wasted no time in hurrying out of the office. She paused in the waiting room to look again at the young woman and though she couldn't be sure, she thought that the woman flashed her a quick smile before turning her head away.

Now that she had _finally_ made up her mind, she would need to face the true terror: Blaise. He would not be happy with her decision and she wondered just how heated this argument would end up getting. No doubt she would be packing her things by the end of the night, but that was fine. She was going to do what she felt she was capable of doing whether he wanted to tag along for the ride or not.


	5. Chapter 5

She watched the clock with anticipation building in the pit of her stomach. Her tea had gone cold hours ago and she had hardly noticed. She had been thinking of things to say all day but nothing would be good enough. No matter what sort of explanation she gave him she knew he wouldn't care. He had told her that he would settle for nothing less than an abortion and she had gone against his wishes. But it didn't matter because Pansy knew that what she wanted was this baby. She didn't need his help, either. She would figure everything out on her own.

Her heart sank when she heard him just outside the front door. He would be expecting her to tell him that she had gone through with it and that they no longer had anything to worry about. But to hear that she had refused to see it through would send him into a fit.

The doorknob turned slowly and the color drained from her face as her body went oddly still. His footsteps echoed in her ears and she watched as his shadow passed the kitchen. She had been holding her breath and she exhaled slowly. But the minute she went to inhale once more, he appeared in the doorway. Pansy sucked in a deep breath as he crossed the room to the cupboards and pulled out a glass for his wine.

"Well?" She cringed at the expectant tone of his voice and she gripped her tea mug tightly. There was no response from her and Blaise turned to raise an eyebrow at her. "I'm sure it wasn't that traumatic."

"I didn't do it," She said finally.

The glass fell from his hand and shattered against the tile floor. Pansy let out a whimper and steadied herself for the blow. She watched as he stood motionless but she could see the fire burning in his eyes. The silence that fell between them was heavy and she could feel it pressing down upon her. It was suffocating and she gulped in a breath of air just as Blaise stepped through the glass with a sickening crunch and crossed the room towards her.

He towered above her and she tried to shrink away to nothing as he raised a hand to strike her with. His lips were pressed into a thin line and his hand shook. But the blow never came and instead he hit the tea cup from her hands and sent it and the cold tea shooting across the room and crashing into the wall. Well, she was definitely going to have a mess to clean up if he kept breaking everything.

It was impossible to keep herself composed and she burst into tears as he leaned forward and gripped the edges of the table so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white.

"How dare you disobey me!" He was shouting so loud that she was certain the people four houses down would be able to hear him crystal clear. "I do everything for you and this is how you thank me? You ungrateful little bitch," Blaise sneered as he looked away from her before looking back.

"I can make my own decisions," Pansy shot back. Her voice was soft and quiet compared to his booming bellows.

"I find that hard to believe. If you can make your own decisions then you should be able to also provide for yourself as well, hm? Isn't that right?"

She swallowed hard and nodded reluctantly. She already knew where he was going with this and she didn't like it. He released his hold on the table and straightened himself up.

"Get the hell out of my house," His voice dropped to a deadly hiss and she was unable to move from her seat. "_Now_."

Pansy stood with shaking legs and straightened herself up to her full height, which was hardly intimidating for someone like Blaise. She moved as close to him as she dared and narrowed her eyes.

"You'll be sorry," She said, "One day you're going to be drinking yourself into a stupor and you're going to look back and wish you hadn't done this. You're going to miss me."

"There are plenty of other women that I can share my bed with. Don't flatter yourself," He retorted coolly. "If anything, you're going to miss me and my money and the freedom to do whatever you wish. Good luck doing that with your bastard child."

Her hand flew instinctively to her stomach and she glanced down before looking back at him. "I just hope that _our _child turns out a lot better than you ever did," She snapped before shoving past him roughly with tears in her eyes.

She climbed the stairs to their bedroom and pulled a suitcase from the closet. Pansy tossed her clothes into the suitcase without caring if they were folded, clean or dirty. She just wanted to be gone. Silent tears ran down her cheeks as she moved from the bedroom to the bathroom and filled a smaller bag with all of her toiletries. How could Blaise kick her out like that and how could he be so heartless? Where was she going to go now? What would her parents say? Even though she was a grown woman, the opinion of her mother and father meant more to her than she would like to let on. Besides, she was in a delicate condition and in a terrible situation. Perhaps they would be able to give her enough money to live on until she could get on her own two feet.

The terrified reflection in the mirror caught her attention and she stopped to stare at herself. She touched her cheeks gingerly before dropping her hands and sniffling.

"I can do this," It didn't sound very convincing, even to her. But she was going to keep on telling herself that she was capable of doing whatever she set her mind to. Pansy had never been very independent. She had always relied on others to keep her going and the idea of being on her own was petrifying. She would rather face a hoard of Dementors before living on her own, but it seemed that now she would have no choice.

Her bags were packed and she hauled them down the stairs and towards the door. She would Apparate outside of his home just because she didn't want to give him something else to yell at her about. But on her way to the door she took a detour to his study and she pushed the door open without knocking.

He stood with his back to her as he stared out the large window and she cleared her throat to alert him. He made no effort to move or acknowledge her.

"I'm leaving. If there's anything I forgot you can just send it to me, or throw it away," She watched him and still he did not move. Of course she would miss him, but not for long. She would wish that he would be man enough to be part of her life and participate in raising their child. But that was all. It ran no deeper than that. All they shared now was a connection and nothing else. Pansy turned to go but stopped as a thought struck her.

"Blaise… why didn't you hit me?" He had never been a violent man towards her. But she had seen him hit numerous people before without hesitation. Especially when his temper was boiling over as it had been before.

She watched as he raised a glass to his lips and took a long drink before sighing as he lowered it, "Your face is too pretty to mark up," Was his only response.

She wasn't sure whether she should take that as a compliment or not, so she nodded and turned without another word. Her bags dragged along the ground behind her as she shouldered her way through the door and headed down the street before making her way to her parent's house where things were bound to get worse before they got better.


	6. Chapter 6

Pansy had never wanted to end up crawling back to her mother and father. She had vowed to herself to be self sufficient the moment she left Hogwarts, and she had been – to an extent. Now she stood outside their door with suitcases surrounding her and an expression of helplessness. She was lost and this was her only other option. If Blaise no longer wanted her, then possibly her parents might.

"Pansy," Her father opened the door with his reading glasses in hand and a deep frown. "Do you realize the hour?" He asked her roughly before stepping aside to allow her to enter the home. He made no effort to assist her with her bags and she struggled to haul them all through the door.

She dumped them in the entrance and straightened up slightly to look over her father. He hadn't changed, not at all. His hair was speckled with gray and his dark eyes looked just as tired as ever. He was a tall man and a very serious man. She could only remember ever seeing him smile twice in her entire lifetime. He folded his glasses and closed the door.

"Your mother is—"

"Pansy," Her mother's tone was no more welcoming than her father's and she nodded her head in greeting. The woman wore a dress of dark blue and she swept across the floor as if she were merely floating. Her mother had changed and she took note of that. Her features were more rigid and she looked as though she hadn't smiled nor laughed in quite some time. Pansy had never considered her mother to be a compassionate woman, but she had her moments and that was all Pansy needed.

She watched as her mother stopped to stand beside her father and eyed the luggage carefully, "Intending to stay?"

The young woman swallowed hard and glanced down at her feet before nodding. How was she supposed to explain her situation to her parents and not expect them to do the same thing that Blaise had done?

"Blaise and I got into an argument," She explained simply. She would tell them more details, but only if they should ask. Otherwise, she would keep her secret for as long as possible. Hopefully, she would be out on her own by then and they would never have to know.

"You've argued before," Her mother reminded her with a raised eyebrow.

"I know. But this one was… over a delicate subject," She looked between the two of them, silently begging them not to press the matter.

They were still and silent for a moment before they both accepted her response with a nod. Her mother motioned for her to follow her into another room.

"Take our daughter's luggage upstairs," She instructed as she led Pansy to the sitting room. Their house paled in comparison to the Malfoy Manor, but it was no small seaside cottage. The high ceilings gave each room the illusion of appearing larger than they really were and her mother had a knack for interior decorating.

She settled onto the couch as her mother sat herself in the chair and folded her hands delicately in her lap. Her parents had always been old fashion. They believed that pureblood was the only blood and that everything in life must be done by the books. There was no such thing as crossing the line or going 'outside of the box.'

"You look well," Her mother commented and Pansy returned the simple and casual compliment with one of her own. She knew their conversation would go no farther than the weather and that was quite alright. She had made it through the door and that was all that mattered. She would have a bed to sleep in and food to eat.

"How is Blaise?"

"Good and so is his mother," Pansy had already predicted her mother's next question. "But I'm sure you already knew that considering the two of you catch up on the latest gossip quite often."

"I wouldn't call it gossip," Her mother corrected, "It's more like news. The scandals are just a bonus."

Scandals. Pansy would fall under the scandalous category once her secret was out. Her name would be on the lips of every gossiping woman in the Wizarding World. The only good thing that would be said was that at least their baby was a pureblood. She could hear it all now and it was making her cringe. She had been talked about at school, so why was this any different? It would be extremely different because her name would not only be floating in the air but it would also be coated with slander and her reputation would be shot to pieces. Or perhaps she was just over-thinking things. Perhaps none of that would happen because maybe people just wouldn't care. Her eyes moved to her mother and she frowned. No, they would care because there were people out there that would make them care.

"And what would the latest scandal be?" Pansy asked curiously.

"Do you remember Olive Greenwald?" Pansy nodded and her mother continued, "Apparently he has fallen for a muggle-born woman and ran off to marry her only because she's having his child," The thrill of airing out another person's dirty laundry was exhilarating to her mother and she could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. "His mother has locked herself away in that miserable little house of theirs and refuses to come out because she's been disowned."

"I hardly find that a reason to disown his mother," Pansy said shortly. "She can't be held responsible for the actions of her son."

"She can and she has been. She could have stopped everything but she turned a blind-eye to Oliver and now look at what has happened. Children not only disgrace themselves, but also their parents. The entire reputation of a family is shattered," The woman shifted in her seat and fixed her eyes on Pansy.

Pansy could feel her mother's eyes burning right through her and she stood up, "I'm tired. I'll see you in the morning," Without another word, she left the room and climbed the stairs to her old bedroom. The room was still the same, a little dusty, but still the same. Her suitcases were lined up against the wall and she closed her door before sinking down on her bed. Her mother knew, she could just feel it. Her mother had looked right through her. But how could she know?

She knew that people often said that pregnant women had some sort of 'glow' to them. But Pansy hadn't noticed anything different about herself. She touched her face before dropping her hands and sighing.

"This is ridiculous," She said out loud as she stood up and paced the room. Blaise had kicked her out and now she was living with her parents and she was pregnant. Now, that was the icing on the cake. She was having the baby of a man that could not and would not ever love her. For the rest of her life she would be raising _their_ child, on her own. Pansy sank back down onto her bed and stared blankly at the wall. Alone. For the rest of her life. The idea made her want to crawl under a rock and stay there. But instead, she kicked off her shoes and crawled beneath her covers. That would just have to suffice until she could find something better.


	7. Chapter 7

She had fallen into steady routine as she milled around her old home. Her mother was often gone before she woke up and Pansy enjoyed the peace and quiet of the morning. Her father rarely left the house, but he kept to his study for the better part of the day. Occasionally he would call her in for idle conversation as she passed the door and she was thankful for her father's company at times. It was a welcomed break from her mother's constant scrutiny.

Pansy had changed her wardrobe to fit her growing condition and although the baby bump was hardly recognizable, she stuck to looser fitting shirts just for the sake of things. Her mother often raised an eyebrow at her daughter's odd habits, but Pansy usually left the room before her mother could even open her mouth. It was a miserable way of life, but she had no idea what else to do. She often thought about crawling back to Blaise, but she knew he would never take her back. She had done the unthinkable.

Getting a job and a tiny one bedroom apartment would be her best bet and Pansy scoured over the _Prophet_ daily for a decent job opening. She had always wanted a position of importance at the Ministry, though when she had mentioned it to her father he seemed to think she lacked the discipline and potential. So she was left to look for something lower on the list and even those were difficult to come by.

She sat at the dining room table with the paper spread out before her and a quill in one hand. Her eyes were heavy and dry from hours of reading and her hand was sore from crossing things out and scribbling notes in the side column. Her spine stiffened as she heard her mother's footsteps approaching and she glanced sideways as the woman's shadow fell over her. Without a word, her mother settled herself into the seat beside Pansy and folded her hands in her lap.

"I saw Blaise today," Her mother said slowly. With a heavy sigh and a roll of her eyes, Pansy lifted her head and tucked her hair behind her ears as she searched her mother's cool expression.

"That's nice," She tried to keep her voice void of emotion. She didn't want her mother to know that she was hurting and that she missed a man that would never love her. That was her own personal weakness and she wanted to keep it to herself.

"He was with another woman," Her mother continued. Pansy felt a lump rise in her throat. "He asked about you."

"Did he?" She could feel the heavy pause fall upon them and she swallowed hard. Slowly, she set her quill down and sat back against the high-backed chair. She knew what was coming next before the woman even opened her mouth and she realized that she had been prepared for this moment from the very beginning.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Pansy? I suspected it from the moment you arrived. I know my daughter and I can see it in your eyes. I can certainly see it in the way your eating habits have changed," She frowned. "You know your options. I will not have you ruining the very name your father and I have worked to uphold for all of these years."

"I am so sick of hearing about my options," Pansy slapped her palms down on top of the newspaper. "I am not a little girl anymore. I am a grown woman and I can make my own decisions. I don't care about what options I have. They have all been considered and I've picked the best one for me. I don't need Blaise and I certainly don't need you or father."

"Do you think you can support yourself and a child? You don't even have a job," Her mother snorted. "Blaise is a well established young man. He has a wonderful job and a stable one at that. He can provide for you and the baby."

"But he doesn't want to," Pansy said coldly as she folded up the newspaper and stood up.

"You need to marry him," Her mother urged, standing up as well. "Or your father and I will disown you," She added with narrowed eyes.

Pansy sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. "I will be gone by the end of the week. So you can save your breath," She glared at her mother for a long moment before walking past her and up the stairs.

"How do you think his mother will react?" Her mother called after her. She paused on the staircase and looked over her shoulder.

"That is not my problem. But I'm sure I will be a lovely gossip piece for the two of you," She sneered.


End file.

Harry Potter, Drama, Romance