Mass Effect Muscle Beach Party

**Okay, this was inspired by a work of art that I will post the link to on my profile, go visist and give the artist lots of praise! **

**This is supposed to be fluffy-ish and light-hearted :3**

**NOTICE: The title was a nod to the 1964 movie of the same title. And not my idea. It was 7Makaveli from the bioware forums, who also helped me with a lot of the writing in this so he gets credit too :D  
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Ashira thought it would be a good idea to take everyone on a short vacation after the Suicide Mission. They'd all lived, they'd succeeded, told the Illusive Man to go screw himself, and escaped relatively unscathed. Yes, life was good. Apart from the giant Reaper fleet inevitably coming towards the galaxy, but Ashira was banking on it taking those metal space squids a while to fly here. If it took two weeks to fly to the Galaxy from Dark Space then why didn't they just do that before? No, it would take a while.

So here they were, at the beach on one of the established garden worlds in citadel space, and things were going relatively well, they were having fun.

Garrus had wandered off at some point, returning with a stick and drawing Turian symbols in the sand only for them to be washed away with the tide. He was wearing a pair of tough swimming trunks so that the sharp edges of his hips didn't tear the material. It was a rare thing to see Turians out of their armour, but Ashira thought it a good thing.

Garrus had always seemed so professional and strict, even if he did sometimes get hot-headed over certain things. It was nice to see him out of his armour and acting almost like an inquisitive child. Right now he was carefully prodding a washed up - but clearly dead - sea creature on the shore, commenting with a strangely childish glee how it looked similar to a Hanar.

It wasn't. Of course. Because then his prodding of the jellyfish like creature would be an all new level of disturbing.

Thane was staying away from the water, no surprises there, but he was just as content to be buried in sand by Tali, as the young Quarian was also avoiding the water. They appeared to be having fun though, as there was an amused smile on Thane's lips as he noted that when he imagined feeling sand against his skin for the first time in years there hadn't been a near endless body of water just meters away.

The drell had left his coat on the Normandy, switching out for a pair of trunks similar to Garrus. Though he didn't have to worry about sharp scales ripping them, and his were black with dashes of dark orange where Garrus's were a mix of dark and light blues.

Miranda had brought a sun lounger down with her, and so was currently sunning her pale body while wearing a white bikini. A classy pair of sunglasses were perched on the bridge of her nose, hiding her eyes as she lay there looking for all the world as though she were asleep. Luckily the woman had put plenty lotion on otherwise she would've been looking at a very crispy body.

Jacob - in a pair of black and silver trunks - had taken to building sandcastles. The first few times Grunt had gleefully smashed them down, and each time commented that for castles they weren't that sturdy. Ashira had explained to him that building sandcastles was something humans did when at the beach and it could turn out to be fun when seeing how big you could get it.

Now Grunt was using a large space building his own sandcastle to see if he could 'beat' Jacob, who seemed to have no intention of losing as the two men acted like young boys, laughing and throwing light jibes in fun.

Grunt himself was out of his armour as well, wearing a pair of dark trunks of tough material much like Garrus because of the thick plates on his legs. Pale, scaly plates covered the Krogan's chest and smaller ones overlapped each over like an armour over his stomach. This continued from his head plates and all the way down his back until they disappeared passed the waistband of his trunks. Plates also covered his shoulders but strangely left his biceps alone; a few were scattered across the forearms.

Ashira wasn't sure whether to be fascinated by or pity how oblivious Jacob was to Kasumi. She had developed quite a crush for the man since joining the crew and had deliberately picked out the black bikini she now wore. It was surprising to see her without the hood, as she had beautiful auburn hair that fell around her shoulders.

Joker was currently testing his luck as he was wielding a super-soaker - as they'd picked up some stuff on the way here - and shooting in Jack's general direction. He never hit of course, but that didn't stop Jack from threatening to leave him as nothing more than a smear on the sand for the tide to wash away.

Even now the pilot hadn't taken off his cap, but he wasn't wearing any swimming gear like the rest of them. A white tank top and navy blue fatigues with a whistle hanging around his neck. He'd made a smart comment about being today's lifeguard.

Jack herself was wearing a black, silver and blue swim suit, and had made it a point to bother just about everyone before Joker started pestering her with the water gun. Sand dropped on Miranda? Check. Sandcastles ruined at least once? Check. Unsurprisingly Grunt's had been left alone.

Zaeed was sunning himself and sleeping on the sand, out of the way of everyone else wearing some grey and yellow trunks with his hands behind his head. He had grouched that this beach business was annoying because he'd be picking sand out of his ass for weeks. Ashira had sourly thanked him for the image.

Looking over to the near by foliage on the beach, Ashira noted Legion quietly sitting under a palm tree watching them all. She had walked over to ask him - and she did think of the platform as technically male, due to the sound of its voice, just as she thought of EDI as female - if he was alright just sitting there. Legion calmly replied that he was "observing the recreational behaviour of organics." He found it strange how such serious and powerful fighters were 'reduced' to child-like curiosity and joy over sand, seawater and sun.

Ashira tried to explain it as fun and a novelty to organics who spend long periods of time on a spaceship. Legion was only left with more puzzlement over their behaviour, but said "I think I understand."

That had thrown her a little, it was one of the rare - but steadily more frequent - times that Legion had spoken of himself as a single person. Legion had then tilted his head and noted that the sandcastles Jacob and Grunt were building should not have structural weaknesses in them such as windows.

Ashira remarked that maybe he should join in to show them how to build proper castles. Legion quietly stated that sand was known for getting everywhere, and was unsure what it would do to his systems. Ashira had only smiled and left Legion to his people watching.

Mordin was busy walking up and down the shore collecting interesting stones and shells. For some unholy reason he had chosen to wear a speedo type ensemble made for Salarians. However, it wasn't as bad as Ashira envisioned, Salarians had an internal setup so it was like looking at an action man.

Ashira smiled to herself, and stretched her body out. She was pastier than Miranda thanks to her upbringing, being born and raised on spaceships didn't leave much room for the sun. A pair of black board shorts comfortably hugged her hips while a black sports bikini top was all that covered her torso. However, the soldier was a mite taller and less 'soft' looking than the former Cerberus operative.

Ashira's smile faded as she noted every one here apart from one particular figure. She had gently declined the Commander's offer to join them down on the beach, and Ashira hadn't pressed any further, not wanting to bother the other. But right now Ashira missed her.

"Shepard."

Ashira absently looked over her shoulder towards the voice, still half-lost in her thoughts, "oh hey-" she did a double-take both upon realising who it was and their appearance. "S-Samara, you-you look-" Ashira could feel her throat closing up and a blush rise in her cheeks. The Asari seemed to have at least considered coming down, as she was wearing a royal red bikini that contrasted with her pale blue skin and matched the symbols still adorning her forehead.

Ashira could swear there was the slightest curl to the corners of Samara's lips upon seeing the Commander reduced to the state of nervous adolescent.

To make it worse Jack wandered over and threw an arm around Ashira's neck, ruffling the soldier's black hair with a vicious grin in Samara's direction.

"Glad you could join us Lady, Shepard here's been _dying_ to see you," she snickered. Ashira made a mental promise to bury Jack in the sand later on. "Still with the marks?" Jack questioned, pointing out the Justicar's symbols. Ashira ducked out from under her arm and rest a hand on the tattooed woman's shoulder. "You know, I'm sure you have other people to torment, _Jack_."

Jack merely gave another vicious grin and walked off towards Garrus who was happily splashing about in the shallow water.

Ashira ran a hand over the back of her neck, still aware of the blush on her cheeks. "You know, you don't have to wear them; it's a day off. A chance to relax before the real storm hits," she made sure to keep her tone friendly and light. Samara lightly traced the fingertips of one hand along the symbols, before letting it drop to her side and peering back at Ashira's stone grey eyes. "I have not enjoyed a day of rest the way you are for quite some time," she let her gaze switch to the antics of the crew, and a smile came to her, looking back at the soldier. "I should have come with you in the first place."

Ashira felt her heart give a small leap from the smile. Every time that expression tilted Samara's lips Ashira had to hide her delight - it was such a simple thing, but from Samara it felt rare and meaningful. "Once?" Ashira tilted her head, trying to hide her hopefulness as her gaze briefly switched to the symbols before moving back to Samara's pale eyes.

She seemed to muse this for a moment, before simply closing her eyes and bowing her head slightly forward.

Ashira froze, surprise clear on her face and for a moment she was grateful that no one could see it right now; her back was to the rest of the crew. Not that they would notice anyway. She swallowed hard and reached up, gently removing the symbols. "Hey, what do you know, much better," Ashira gave a lop-sided grin. Samara opened her eyes, and smiled once more; which only succeeded in making the soldier feel weak at the knees. Not any kind of impossible feat at all, oh no.

"Samara!" two voices called at once, both deep but one loud enough to wake the gods.

Ashira got bustled out of the way before she realised what was happening.

Garrus and Grunt had sprinted over, both looking excited. "Jack said there was treasure under the water, but she won't help us find it! Please help us! We want to find the treasure!" Grunt did most of the talking and Garrus chipped in every now and then.

Samara raised an amused brow, "treasure?"

The two males nodded quickly, both of them trying their best to look like hopeful puppies.

The Justicar glanced at Ashira, who shrugged in bemusement, before looking back at the pair. "Very well."

As the three disappeared beneath the water in a biotic bubble, Ashira looked at her crew again, and noted that Legion had moved from his spot under the tree. He was currently fumbling around building his own sand - well it wasn't a castle - structure she guessed it would be called. He carefully dug a narrow mote around the shape, which seemed to resemble the Quarian buildings they had seen on Haestrom. The synthetic kept glancing at Grunt and Jacob's impressive castles and eventually started shaping out the broad windows of the architecture.

Ashira couldn't help but snicker to herself.

Moments later, Samara hurried out of the sea , alone. She carefully flicked a smear of black liquid from her forearm. Ashira walked over, trying to see where Grunt and Garrus were before peering at the Asari. She sharply reminded herself where the other's face was when her brain started to forget to keep her eyes from wandering south. "What happened?"

Samara met her gaze, "well, there _was_ a chest down there. However, there was a creature inside and it promptly squirted ink at the three of us. I got out of the way and swam back to shore."

Ashira quirked a brow, "then where are-"

Just then, Grunt and Garrus broke the surface of the water a fair distance out, splashing and gasping for air. They quickly swam back to shore and crawled onto the sand, flopping onto it like beached whales. They both had black ink smeared all over their faces, chests and upper arms. Garrus was first to speak, "Jack! You set us up!"

Jack was cackling, "no shit!"

Ashira smacked her palm to her forehead, grumbling under her breath.

Before things could get out of hand at all with Jack's prank on the two males, Ashira pulled Garrus and Grunt aside, whispering something to them. Soon enough they raced off towards the drop shuttle and quickly came back carrying a net, two sturdy posts and a ball.

Moving away from the sand castles, they set up the net, and Grunt joyfully announced that they would now play volleyball. However, he turned to Shepard with a puzzled look on his face, "now, uh, how do we play it?"

Ashira shook her head, smiling, and got into explaining the rules and demonstrating how to play with a bit of help from Kasumi.

Thane worked himself out of the sand and joined up with Garrus and Grunt, the latter of which declared it was Aliens vs. Humans.

Because of all the shouting, Miranda and Zaeed had been woken up, and Miranda was quickly taken into Ashira's team along with Kasumi and Jack.

Zaeed and Jacob had to sit on the sidelines hoping to be subbed in.

The three men of the other team managed to convince Samara to help them because they had to play against Ashira, and basically three other humans who already knew how to play anyway.

Mordin and Tali had to deal the same as the human team's subs.

Legion looked up from his sand structure over at the loud group and got to his feet, walking over to sit between the two sub pairs and just watch what was going on.

Joker had taken it upon himself to be the ref, and said the first few games would be for practice until they felt ready to really go for it.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, the human team won most of time, apart from a few lucky shots from the aliens. But they were catching on quick, and soon enough they were going at it full steam ahead, with those on the sidelines cheering for their respective teams. Legion was mostly quiet, giving an uncertain noise resembling cheering and lifting his arms in mild puzzlement. He didn't quite understand the need to make such noise, but it seemed the expected thing to do here.

On one side, Kasumi delivered subtle and unexpected strikes, Miranda was precise with her shots, Jack was powerful but had less accuracy, but Ashira was the most dangerous. She was strong, quick and kept her aim straight, so she was the 'deadliest' in the team.

On the other side, Grunt was their heavy hitter, Thane gave unpredictable shots that they found hard to counter, Garrus delivered with precision and speed, but Samara was matching Ashira in being the team's ace.

Jacob thought he had seen enough. "Guys can I come in now? I'm getting kind of cold"

Jack was unrelenting. "No! We're doing just fine"

"Wait a minute Jack, I could use a breather" answered Miranda. "Jacob sub in for me"

"Oh look the cheerleader's gassed, fine we don't need you anyway!"

But Jack was about to eat her words. As the rally progressed Jacob stayed away from the action, choosing to get into the feel.

"Hey Jacob, send her out!" Kasumi tried setting up Jacob for a lob, but he failed miserably in timing and the ball went over his head. Kasumi couldn't help but giggle, but Shepard promptly slapped her palm to her forehead again.

"Hey cheerleader, you rested yet? Don't want this stiff ruining our chances" fired Jack

With nothing but his head down Jacob subbed himself out for Miranda, and spared himself further embarrassment.

As the game wore on, the sun was just about setting as the teams were panting and on their last legs. Most of the time it could've been taken for a one on one game between Samara and the Commander, as both seemed to dive for the ball if it was served or hit by the other.

Joker called that this last match would be sudden death, first one to score wins.

The unfortunate subs had tried to be allowed on to play, but the teams were determined to beat each other as they were. Ashira couldn't help the confident smirk on her lips, staring across at Samara who met her gaze with an almost playful smile.

The ball went up again, and they calmly volleyed back and forth a bit to let the rhythm settle so they could find their opening.

As it was passed back to the alien team, Samara rushed up and struck it down on the other side. Ashira dived to block and pass it over the net again, but missed completely and landed in a heap in the sand as the ball slammed into their side of the 'court'.

Grunt and Garrus cheered loudly, dragging Thane in for a victory hug as they laughed.

Jack was busy complaining, pinning the blame on the others before wandering off in a huff. Ashira remained facedown on the sand, arms stretched out in front of her still ready to pass the ball back again. Miranda and Kasumi leaned down, the former resting her hand on Ashira's shoulder and reassuring the soldier that it wasn't her fault. They had a good game and a lot of fun.

Ashira rolled onto her back, clearly out of breath and covered in sand, but she was smiling. Sitting up, she brushed most of the sand off and got to her feet.

The sky was getting steadily darker, with a fading orange hue and a disk of near red slowly sinking into the sea. The crew moved around to gather up their things and load them onto the drop shuttle, but Ashira was staring out at the setting sun. The sea looked so calm and quiet, endless.

She was suddenly aware of a presence next to her, and with a glance from the corner of her eye noted it was Samara. They were both silent, watching the sun set as though it were a sign that this would be their last chance to rest for a long time.

Ashira bit her lip lightly, and reached out her hand. Her heart caught in her throat when her fingertips brushed against Samara's hand, but her heart swelled in delight when the Justicar didn't say anything or try to move away. Ashira carefully wrapped her hand around Samara's, and the other responded by lacing their fingers together.

Neither said a word, silently watching the setting sun until it was barely a sliver of light on the horizon.

Garrus's voice called out from the shuttle, they were just about finished packing up and ready to go in a few minutes.

Ashira grit her teeth, reluctantly letting go and turning to face Samara. "I um, guess you'll be needing these back," she fished into the pockets of her shorts, pulling out the Justicar's symbols and handing them to her. Samara smiled lightly, but looking down at the ornaments, a puzzled look came to her face. "Ash?" she held out her hands, and Ashira noticed that one of the larger pieces was missing.

With a frown, she dug through her pockets again, and a cold tremor went through her as she realised it wasn't there. She twisted around, looking at the ground to see where she might have dropped it, only for a crab to quickly go scuttling by her feet from where they had been playing.

It was carrying the piece.

Ashira gave Samara a sheepish grin, "uh, hold that thought."

She promptly turned and chased after the crab, which only made the tiny creature scuttle for dear life as the tall soldier tried desperately to catch it.

Samara couldn't help it, a low laughter bubbled up and escaped her from watching someone she knew to be so very serious chasing after a small crab on a beach at sunset, getting covered in sand every time she dived for the small animal.

Yes, she was very glad she had decided to join them today.

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**Whee! I hope you guys enjoyed that :D**

**Reviews will be much appreciated!  
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Mass Effect, Humor, Romance