Naruto 1. Death Wish

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of "Naruto"; I simply borrow them for my fanfiction.

Gaara/Sakura – She was prepared to die, being a coward wasn't something she was proud to hold onto and returning home was no longer an option.

Chapter 1

"Dying Wish" 

Can you feel death? Can you see it coming? At that last moment when all noise leaves your mind and all movement leaves your body, can you feel it?

At the instant when the earth was silent my heart felt everything; Naruto's pain, Kakashi's past, Tsunade's strength, Sasuke…

I know I'm crying; I can see the reflection of the sun on my cheek but I don't feel the water trail left behind, I don't feel it hit my arm, I don't mind; I can feel everything in my chest within every beat. I don't cry for myself, I never thought of myself dying old; I cry for them. For Kakashi and Lady Tsunade who don't deserve to lose someone else, for Naruto and Sasuke a friendship I would have liked to see reunited; I pray it will someday.

I pray they can forgive me before I think they'd be better off hating me. I shouldn't have left on my own, I tell myself I had no choice. My mind flips through my last day on this earth, my eyes close in shame. I didn't want to leave them I simply couldn't breath. I couldn't carry everyone's pain; the loss of Jiraiya, the search for Sasuke. None of them pushed them on me, they didn't expect me to carry them or lend them a shoulder. It wasn't what had happened lately, it's what has built up in their eyes. Kakashi's right eye lifeless, empty of all emotion his left a constant reminder of what he lost of how he failed. Naruto's once vibrant blue eyes now fogged over set on one thing, something he does because of a promise he made, a promise to bring Sasuke back. Tsunade's eyes are different, they aren't dead, they aren't foggy, their drunk. Constantly playing over her life as a ninja she drinks herself into a stooper every day before noon and every night to knock her out for a dreamless sleep.

Tonight I was coward, I came upon my sensei crying for the first time since the death of her best friend and I saw my future. I lost all hope I had built up over the years from Naruto's speeches about never giving up and I ran. I packed my bags, I left a note, and I was gone.

On my way out of the village I saw Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru eating at the place Asuma had taken them to celebrate, it's exactly one year after his death today. I watched the anbu take in shot after shot of saki and Kakashi stare at his fingers wrapped around a glass. I had passed the village gates before I had decided not to turn back. I didn't want to live a life where everyone I love is destined to die before their time.

Laughing at myself my eyes open before they flood over with tears, "what kind of a ninja am I?", "What kind of a friend am I?" I've stolen my life away from myself and those who love me. I was weak, I am weak, I deserve this end.

I tilt my head back and stare up at the cloudless sky, not a tree in sight. My hands sink in the sand below me gripping for anything to hold onto in my last moment. I can feel my last breath slipping away from me, I exhale one last time and smile as I watch Naruto wave from a distance.

"I have only one wish; that you'll be the exception and live happy…. Good bye Naruto"

Author note: This is a short opening chapter the next ones will be longer….. Any reviews and opinions are welcome, please be nice about it….. 


	2. Sand Siblings

Authors note: This chapter is a bit longer and definitely more informative…. I've also decided to add some more pairings so watch out - like a ninja - ; I've decided on two for sure, Gaara/Sakura being the main pairing and Shikamaru/Temari the other.

I also feel I should warn those who do not read the manga not to read any further if you don't want to know any spoilers. I won't say specifically which facts are spoilers and which aren't so there will be a little mystery in there for you but some are blatantly obvious.

I also stick pretty closely to facts except for the whole Gaara/Sakura pairing obviously.

Chapter 2

"Sand Siblings"

Kazekage Tower

"Gaara, the surveillance team is back" Kankuro stepped through the kazekage doors and stood in front of his little brother.

"The mission wasn't a complete success; they didn't find any conclusive evidence that the rogue ninja are the one's responsible for the village burnings. They did however come across someone on the way back."

Gaara looked up from his documents for the first time since Kankuro entered "The akatsuki?"

"No, only the remains from what looks like a confrontation between the akatsuki and a ninja of the hidden leaf."

"Who was the leaf ninja?"

"Haruno, Sakura the medic under lady Tsunade" Gaara turned to look out his window and watch the chuunin with Temari a distance away.

"Are we sure it was the akatsuki?" closing his eyes Gaara thought back to the old team seven from Konoha. 'What was she doing alone with the akatsuki? I haven't received any information on actions being taken against them.'

"Yeah" Pulling out a piece of clothe from his pocket Kankuro threw it onto Gaara's desk; turning slightly to look out of the corner of his eye Gaara saw the black piece torn from a robe. Picking it up and flipping it over he saw a small portion of the akatsuki symbol left behind. "She was clutching this when they found her"

Taking in a deep breath Gaara stood to make his way to the message center; he was tired of the problems caused by the akatsuki and was in no shape to fight them alone; them being near the sand village wasn't good news. "I'll send word to the hokage on the situation" walking past a few of the village elder's Gaara nodded before turning to Kankuro "What is her condition?"

"I don't know the specifics as of now; I only saw her as she was brought into the village. She had multiple head injuries, bruising along her rib cage, and according the surveillance team, cuts along both her sides and across her stomach. I was unable to see any of them beneath the dried blood."

Gaara continued to walk down the sand covered hall. "I'll send word to Konoha; contact me if there are any changes in her condition" turning to face Kankuro he covered his face with his hands; dragging his fingers along his eyes in attempt to wake himself up showing more emotion than usual "I'll ask them for reinforcements just in case the akatsuki are still around; we can't afford casualties and in my current condition I won't be of much help."

Suna Hospital

"Nurse!…." Kankuro walked up to Sakura's attending nurse "Nurse!"

"YES! What can I do for you?" Irritated from the long shift she was being made to take on in order to watch the leaf ninja and Kankuro's naturally loud tone she let her chart hit the counter with a thud.

"What of Haruno's condition?"

"She's still in the woods; when she came in she should have already been dead. Her head has already given up now its left to her body to decide" leading Kankuro to her room she entered picking up Sakura's chart. Holding up the blankets revealing her sides the nurse continued. "We've healed most of the exterior wounds; it's the internal ones that are causing problems" Dropping the blankets she moved to the end of the bed " We won't know the outcome until tomorrow; tonight is simply watch and see."

Turning Kankuro left with a wave of the hand "Thanks"

Kazekage Tower

The messenger bird lifted off of Gaara's fingers and headed for Konoha with a letter detailing the position of the akatsuki, the condition of Sakura, and Gaara's request. Staring out at the wings of the bird he watched without seeing thinking only of his own uselessness in his village's time of need. After his capture and the akatsuki's attainment of Shukaku he's had to start from square one as far as controlling his sand came. It was a relief in one way yet a curse in another; he was no longer as indestructible as he was before.

His lifeless green eyes stared out across the sky; arms folded at his chest and his emotionless face followed the clouds now that the bird was out of site. Standing there he stayed till morning watching the same spot waiting for Konoha's reply; Gaara knew he needed sleep now that Shukaku was gone and Temari wouldn't let him forget it; if only it was that simple. 'I've lived my entire life without sleep and now I'm expected to go on a regular schedule…hnn..'

It was sunrise when his attention was caught by sudden movement in the sky; the reply had come. Behind him a loud crash was heard followed by a females voice "Where is he!" Closing his eyes before returning to his task he attempted to ignore what he knew was coming

"Gaara!" he heard the fuming Temari come in behind him while keeping his eye on the bird. "Have you been here all night? You do know we have a code team that works up here!" Walking over to his side she attempted to get his attention "You need sleep; go home!"

"I'm not tired" holding his arm out the bird landed with a scroll attached.

"You not tired! Gaara, even the ninja at the front gates take turns sleeping; Kankuro was on assignment last night to keep watch over Sakura and even he slept on the operator's desk!"

-Flash- Kankuro passed out on the nurses station drooling on the reports with nurses yelling at his non reactive form -Flash Ends-

Watching her younger brother read the response from the Hokage she threw up her hands in defeat. "Fine!"

"Temari" She turned hopeful of a more interactive response; Gaara filed the reply and turned to his sister "Relieve Kankuro of his post and report any changes to me; the ninja from konoha will arrive in three days" walking past her he left Temari who now stood where Gaara did.

"Damnit!" cursing she whipped her fan around causing the rooms contents to go array and left through the window.

Feeling the remains of Temari's wind against the back of his neck on the way to his office Gaara welcomed the cool breeze. Grabbing documents to bring home and work on he turned off the lights in his office and left the Kazekage tower.

The draining affects of the night before hit him on his walk home and he decided he would try to fall asleep for a couple of hours, maybe just this once with the help of sleeping pills he would be able to leave his awakened state. 'Then maybe Temari can pay attention to her own sleeping patterns instead of mine'.

Konaha

"Hey Granny Tsunade it's too early to be awake" stumbling into the hokage's office Naruto continued to complain while hanging off of Shikamaru.

"Your both late!" Shikamaru threw his hands up in response before shoving Naruto off his shoulder.

"I was on time until I ran into him" mumbling under his breath Shikamaru stood with his hands in his pockets waiting for his orders.

"Were waiting on Kakashi; he's doing a sweep of Sakura's room before he meets us" Naruto's head snapped up at Sakura's name; his gaze darkening as he thought of all the possibilities.

"Why is he at her house?! What happened to Sakura! TELL ME!" Naruto slammed his fist down on her desk causing her papers to spray off her desk

"Naruto! Calm down or you won't be involved in this mission at all!" Tsunade turned to find Kakashi appear outside of the window; walking to take his place in front of her beside Naruto placing his hand on his students shoulder. "Kakashi, did you find anything explaining her absence?" Shaking his head in response he watched as Tsunade paced back and forth contemplating her students decision to leave 'or was she forced' Tsunade thought to herself. Kakashi thought about putting her out of her misery along with Naruto and handing her the note he had found on Sakura's night stand beneath her photograph of team seven; he decided against it. He wanted to find out for himself if it was necessary to cause problems for Sakura especially when he felt responsible for a portion of her misery; he would speak with her first.

"You three will be heading out in one hour at the most to Suna where you will retrieve Haruno Sakura and stand guard under the orders of the Kazekage" Placing her fist on her desk she looked more haggard than the day Jiraiya had passed; Kakashi could see recently the smallest things taking their toll on the women in front of them. "According to the surveillance team in Suna that found Sakura it was the Akatsuki that attacked her; the…." Naruto interrupted her ready to explode

"What! Why would they attack Sakura! What does she have to do with anything?"

"QUIET!" Slamming her fist down her desk broke in two sending wood splinters flying in every direction causing the three in front of her to have to shield their eyes. "The reason for the attack is unknown to anyone at the moment!" Breathing heavily she calmed herself as best she could "All we are informed of at this point is that Sakura is in critical condition and that the only thing they are able to do is observe her until they know whether or not her body will pull through." Turning Tsunade pulled out medical files she had spent the last two hours putting together for the Sand Medics to review. "Give these to Sakura's medics; tell them they are detailed instructions on any emergency internal procedures they may need given the type of injuries Sakura has suffered." Handing them to Kakashi she went on "After you hand these over you are to leave that part to the Sand Medics and go to the Kazekage tower for orders; it is my understanding that he believes the Akatsuki may be sticking around for a while and in his condition would like support from our village. That is your main mission; when you are off duty you may go to the hospital to check on Sakura; then and only then are we clear."

They all nodded in unison before she dismissed them to pack their things and leave. Shikamaru left with Naruto immediately afterwards while Kakashi stayed. Watching Tsunade's movements he could tell she had been drinking.

"You know she'll be fine, Sakura's strong." Tsunade looked up before laughing a drunken laugh

"So was Jiraiya." Taking another sip of saki she turned to look out the window "leave Kakashi, you have a mission to be preparing for" with that he left closing the door behind him.

Suna Hospital

I woke to white; white sheets, white curtains, white lights; am I in the afterlife? Beige came next, the beige sand covered walls and floors; am I dead? The sun shined through the open windows giving the room a vibrant yellow highlight; I'm not. A tear slid down my cheek and danced along my lips, I can taste the salt, feel the moisture; I can feel everything. I'm alone with the exception of the bag in the corner of the room; someone was here and now their not. Was it Naruto? Did he find my letter a letter of betrayal; is he so disgusted by me that he can no longer stay by my side? My mind is racing to the many possibilities deciding whether to run away or stay and fight my way through.

It took me a while but I have to go, I can't let anyone else see me like this. I make to move before I realize I can't, my body is in pain; I scream out at the sharp pressure in my stomach. Someone's coming; I can hear the footsteps moving quickly to my door before it swings open.

'What are they doing here?' I look around once more before I realize where I am. I'm in Suna, I didn't realize I was traveling so close to the village "mnnph!" my stomach gives another sharp pain when I realize a nurse is examining me, someone is also talking. 'Are they talking to me?' I stare ahead not ready to function; not willing to listen. I have nothing that is of use for them; for anyone.

I close my eyes not realizing I'm still crying; they stare.

I'm like that for a few hours, my mind is somewhere else; I'm still weak. They're calling for someone else, 'is it someone to get through to me? Someone to reason with me? Maybe it's someone who knows I'm a coward.'

An hour later I'm still frozen, wondering whether or not everyone's better off without me; 'maybe if a pull the cord from my wrist no one will notice.' I'm about to try when I hear them, they're outside my room with whoever they've brought along. 'Is it Naruto?' I think while gripping my sheets watching the door. The handle twist and feet start to shuffle in; my eyes are closed so I see no one, look no one in the eyes.

They stare.

Authors Note: Wow could I do put a larger amount of author's notes on here. Anyways just to let you know the third chapter is where everything really kicks into gear. The first and second are merely opening and placement chapters. So hopefully you'll stick around.


	3. Savior

Recap:

An hour later I'm still frozen, wondering whether or not everyone's better off without me; 'maybe if a pull the cord from my wrist no one will notice.' I'm about to try when I hear them, they're outside my room with whoever they've brought along. 'Is it Naruto?' I think while gripping my sheets watching the door. The handle twist and feet start to shuffle in; my eyes are closed so I see no one, look no one in the eyes.

They stare.

End Recap

Chapter 3

Savior

Lying in her bed Sakura could feel their eyes burning through her sheets; she refused to open hers. Playing as if she were asleep she let out a long exasperated sigh and rolled over facing away from them; that way if her face twitched no one would see.

Kankuro laughed "That has got to be the fakest of all fake sleeps I've ever seen" Sakura winced at this before turning over to face the three sand siblings. Watching them without showing any emotions she stared at their foreheads. She knew that she would be unable to look anyone in the eyes and lie convincingly later on.

"I see your responding to people now" Kankuro the more outgoing of the two sat down on the end of her bed crossing his legs as if he were ready for a sleep over. Temari gave him a questioning look "what? There aren't any chairs in here."

He seemed more light hearted than she remembered him; it was refreshing. Much like Naruto used to be before the quest for Sasuke; now everything revolved around that one mission. Even his ramen breaks were filled with conversations of their missing team member; not that she minded, she of all people wanted him back.

She looked from Kankuro to Temari who was now pulling out documents and handing them to her "here, there from Konoha". Sakura stretched out her hand taking the documents cautiously before setting them aside on her bedside; she already knew what they would say. The others watched curiously as she stared out the window ignoring that they were even in the same room as her. Temari continued talking none the less "A team from Konoha will arrive here in a day or two; most likely two due to the events taken place in the area. They'll need to be cautious." Sakura flinched at the news; this went unnoticed by everyone except Gaara who had been watching her reactions since he saw her place the paper's aside. Temari sighed "So … Ok … That's all I have to say, I guess were done here." Grabbing Kankuro by the hood she pulled him along with her "Gaara you coming?" Getting no reply she continued to walk with Kankuro in tow.

"Come on, you have to finish your shift with the chuunin."

"He can stay but I have to work with those talentless!..." arguing was heard all the down the hallway by everyone in the hospital and at least a hundred mile radius.

Sakura cracked a small smile before returning to her emotionless demeanor she was trying to pull off once she noticed Gaara was still in the room. Looking up she watched his chest inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale; 'how does he always remain so calm?' Gaara watched her face; her eyes avoiding his own "You should read that." Sakura looked to the documents he was referring to. A second later she returned her eyes to the window and continued to watch the clouds. Annoyed by his presence Sakura reached for the remote on her bedside and pushed the nurse response button repeatedly. Gaara stood with his arms crossed watching her with unwavering emotion in his haunting green eyes; Sakura could swear he could see right through her making her throat feel as if it were collapsing and in need of water.

The nurse finally came in what seemed like hours carrying her chart along with her "Well, well look who's up." Smiling she walked to check Sakura's I.V. "What is it I can do for you?" Sakura pointed downwards towards her bladder her throat feeling to dry to talk. "Oh of course! Kazekage sir if you'll excuse us." Gaara nodded; walking out he closed the door behind him and decided not to wait.

It wasn't till around one in the morning when Sakura felt well enough to walk around; she knew she would never be ready to leave the sand village before the Leaf arrived but at least she would be able work her legs out enough to not look pathetic in the eyes of her comrades. Lifting herself off of her bed she held back tears as her limbs screamed for release; pushing herself to make it to the door she opened it slightly looking into the hallway before continuing through the hallway. Slowly she progressed keeping a distance from voices at the other end. Her knees gave way as she reached the door to her way out causing her to have to catch herself on the handle; her breath caught in her throat from the pain in her stomach.

Slowly breathing in, out, in, out 'deep breaths'; she closed her eyes and lifted herself once more.

Once outside she could feel the wind picking up whipping around her causing the white hospital gown she had on to stick to her small frame. The dry sand filled wind cursed though the black night; whistling around each corner creating an orchestra of sounds. Walking into the storm she stood with her hands directly up into the sky; her bones now peeking through her skin showing how her eating habits had escalated. Her toes curled into the ground below her as the wind pushed her backwards with its strength; she felt as if she were flying. Closings her eyes she held her breath as the sand thickened around her covering her from the world; her body was completely hidden within the storm. Smiling she let herself be lifted from the earth slightly gliding in the wind before being set back down by the currents. Her mind left the desert watching her life pass before her; watching everything she had seen in those around her that she had never wanted to see. She was haunted by their faces and would soon be able to leave them forever and lay them at peace. Feeling her body lift once more into the storm the wind picked up speed ready to carry her with it. Feeling her feet leave the ground completely she smiled once more tilting her head back; she waited.

As she was being pulled backwards a pair of hands stretched out and an arm wrapped around her waist pulling her back to the earth causing her to snap back into reality and realize what it was she was trying to accomplish; she held close to body in front of her as she was carried back into the hospital.

Once in the door the sand cascaded off of her skin and fell to the floor; still holding her savior close she stayed cradled in their arms with her arms wrapped around their neck holding them close. Both stood standing in the hallway; both the color of sand.

Sakura pulled back looking straight into the eyes of Gaara; she saw nothing. Breathing in unison both watched the other; Sakura searched for a reason to look away. She saw no pain, no happiness, no memories plaguing his memory; she knew they were there she simply couldn't find them. Refreshed for once in not having to see someone else's pain she kept watching; convinced that the entire world could catch fire and his expression would remain the same she thought of what it would be like to be the one to make him smile.

Gaara watched as she looked into his eyes; watching her curious expression as she searched his mind. He was the first to break the gaze when he set her legs down and walked away to the nurse call button. "You should be in bed" waiting with her until the nurse came he watched as she slipped back into her almost comatose condition.

Letting her hair fall in front of her face she stood as the nurse talked with Gaara. She couldn't hear a word of what they were saying as she strained her ears in their direction. When they finished with their whispering the nurse approached her with a smile that questioned whether Sakura was crazy and led her into the showers before returning her to her bed.

With the sedatives they gave her it didn't take long before she drifted off to sleep.

Outside – Balcony of Kazekage Tower

Gaara stood above the village looking down watching what was left of the sand storm subside and small lights show through from the streets below. His mind had never been so crowded; not even when Shukaku was within him. Sleeping was no longer an option as he thought about what had happened earlier; she had so willingly stood in harms way and let the sand lift her up from the ground. She who had been so collected the last time he had encountered her; reminding everyone around her of the great Lady Tsunade. His mind left the storm and thought to when she had looked into his eyes and wondered what it was she had seen that had kept her looking. Not many look him in the eyes without looking away immediately afterwards regretting they had tried. She on the other hand looked as if she wanted to keep looking; 'why did I stop her?'

Gaara stood on the balcony and watched lights flicker on and the sand crawl across the earth till morning when he encountered Temari.

Now regretting he had stayed there all night he waited for her daily lecture on sleep "Gaara!" looking up he put up his hand in response.

"I couldn't sleep." Shaking her head Temari continued

"That also but first we have to deal with this." Holding up papers she waited for a reply but received none 'surprise, surprise' "you put her on lock down? Why?" now recognizing the papers in her hand as the ones he had signed the night before to place Sakura under lock down until the arrival of the Konoha team he took them from her hand and read them over.

"I believe the reason is stated on the documents." He handed them back to her and started to head back inside.

"It says she's a threat to herself! How so?" he gave her no response "Gaara! Sakura single handedly saved Kankuro's life and helped to save yours. She defeated Sasori of the sand for fucks sake!" looking up he waited to hear what it was she was getting at "How exactly did you come to the conclusion that she's a threat to her own life?"

"From what I saw last night Hurano, Sakura is in no way the same person she was the last time we encountered her." Temari lost in what he was referring to threw the papers down and then her hands flew into the air of defeat once again.

"Fine! You can be the one to tell her your reasoning behind this." Walking out the door she turned before she left with a smirk dancing across her features enticing Gaara's interest "You'll find her in our chakra control room. She put a ten foot hole in the wall of her regular room."

Authors Noter: Read, Enjoy, and Review! Good or Bad reviews welcome... I think i can handle a flame or two...Maybe?


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Naruto, Angst, Romance