Glee 1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Glee, I just love it a lot!**

_A/N: I'm just trying to get inside Quinn's head here, I do not actually believe anything I've written in the first paragraph, lol!_

Everything she's ever been told about sex is true. Only bad girls have sex before marriage. Doing it, even once, will ruin your whole life. She's watched her friends, having sex with no consequences, heard the bragging from both girls and guys, and she's just waiting for the day it will come back to get them. Like it did her. Or maybe she just got punished because she's like, an adulteress or something. She doesn't understand it. She just knows that she had sex and she got pregnant. She lost her boyfriend. She lost her reputation. She lost her spot on the Cheerios. She has no home, no parents. It's not fair.

Of course she's giving the baby up. There's no question. She can't take care of it. She can't even take care of herself. Besides, it deserves someone better as a parent. Someone who isn't such a screw up. Someone who isn't her. Someone who definitely isn't Puck. She was an idiot and she spends everyday paying for that mistake. She watches her boyfriend making a fool of himself over another girl. She watches her old friends whisper and giggle over secrets she's not part of. She watches the Cheerios win Nationals without her.

When she sees her mom backstage at Regionals, she doesn't even know how to process what's going on. She elated from the performance, shocked to see her mom, ashamed that somehow her bad decision has caused her whole family to fall apart, and terrified, because she's pretty sure her water just broke. The whole thing is a haze. She remembers bits and pieces. The baby's bright blue eyes, Puck saying he loves her, her mom's arms holding her after she signed the adoption papers. She can't focus on any of it or she'll fall to a million pieces. She goes right back to school. If she doesn't think about any of it, then it never happened, right? But there's only a few more classes and then she has a whole empty summer ahead of her.

People talk about Rachel Berry's drive and ambition, but Quinn Fabray has ALWAYS gotten her way. She spends her summer making plans. She will be head cheerleader again. She will regain her place at the top of the school. And she doesn't need a quarterback boyfriend to do it. She's going to do it on her own. She's done letting other people in. She pictures her mind as a storage room. She needs to clean house. She can't have any distractions. She imagines taking every painful memory of the last year and shoving them into a big box. She tapes it shut and pushes it as far out of sight as she can. She's moving on from all of it.

She does this in real life too. When she came out of the hospital, she went home with her mom. It was such a shock to be back in her room. All of her things just like she had left them. She goes through and takes down all the things that hurt to much to think about right now, photos of her and Finn, pictures of her and her Daddy, she throws away the charity ball dress and the box of ultrasounds and hospital bills she spent so much time trying to hide before Finn ruined everything. She doesn't talk about anything with her mom. They act like the last year never happened. Quinn spends a lot of time in her room, running on her treadmill and rearranging her Cheerios trophies. Her mom works all day, as a secretary, and drinks all night. Quinn thinks about how every bad thing in her life is just another thing that will make her stronger in the end. She'll be so strong the sheer force of her presence will keep people away. No one is getting the best of Quinn Fabray again.

Sometimes, people text her to hang out or go to a party. She isn't ready and ignores them. They stop texting. Puck texts sometimes. She doesn't know how to talk to him. He's so hard to figure out. Sometimes, she thinks no one knows him at all. He says whatever he thinks she wants to hear and she can never believe him. It's hard to talk to him, because she won't let him mention anything that happened last year, and that's all they've ever really had in common.

The first day, she walks down the hall in her Cheerios uniform (after the whole Santana debacle), she finally feels like she's back. The crowds of kids part around her, the younger Cheerios practically fall over themselves offering to carry her books or fetch her a slurpie. She ignores Finn and Rachel looking all couple-y. She's so over that now. This is going to be her year. She can feel it.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Glee, **__**I just love it a lot!**

Quinn doesn't like to admit she's lonely. She thought being the head Cheerio would make her life go back to normal. But it doesn't. Santana and Britney don't talk to her unless they have too. She talks to Mercedes sometimes, but Mercedes has seen her at her worst and she's trying to forget all of that. She's knows she should quit Glee, its hard to see Finn so happy, hard to provide the background music to his love story, but its the only place where both of her worlds mesh and she feels OK with herself.

She likes Sam. He's cute. He tries hard. He's like Finn 2.0. She doesn't have to work hard to stay strong in front of him, he's not really all that deep and he lets her take the lead. He doesn't push her for more than movie dates and kisses. He doesn't know much at all about what happened last year and its nice to have a clean slate. And he's not a juvenile delinquent, like Puck.

She dates Sam all through Junior year, but they decide to break up at the end of the school year. They say they'll just be friends and she's pretty OK with that. She thinks she has the worst luck ever when she comes home from a jog the first week of summer vacation to find a familiar truck parked out front. She can't believe her mom really hired Puck to clean their pool.

She tries to avoid him, but it's pretty obvious he's been waiting for her. She tries not to think about the last time he was at her house, and hardens her heart. She can't blame the whole thing on wine coolers. She always loses her head a little around him. He tells her he's heard she's single again and wonders if they could hang out. She starts to shake her head no, but he tells her he's grown up a lot this year and he wants to prove it. Just a movie date, no strings.

"Ok, but last year is off limits." She says. And he nods his head in agreement. They start off slow, but she's never been able to say no to him and by the end of the summer she's not very surprised to find herself on a sleeping bag in the bed of his truck, parked in a corn field in the middle of no where. He is pushing for more than just heavy making out, but she's still holding strong. And he understands, mostly because of the whole baby thing. She wants to be clear on their relationship, and in the dark, he can feel her arms tight around him and he smells the coconut of her hair, and its easy to say yes and tell her they're exclusive.

They date all of senior year. She is an expert at deflecting him when sex comes up. She's not stupid, she knows he's probably getting it elsewhere. But she's under no illusion that this is going to end in marriage and since he's not rubbing it in her face (like the last time), she cant bring herself to care much.

Sometimes, she thinks its so unfair. Her high school experience isn't anything like she thought it would be as a wide eyed freshman. Everything she's been holding in is bubbling under the surface the last week. Kurt is prom queen. She likes Kurt, but it hurts, that was her title. Finn and Rachel are voted Most Likely to Get Married. Brittany and Santana get the Best Friends award. She knows it's silly, but she feels like she has nothing to show for all her time here. Instead of meeting their friends for lunch on senior skip day, she invites Puck over to her house.

She hasn't gained anything by being a good girl. She going to do what she wants now. Puck doesn't even know what hit him. She's got him shirtless in her bed, almost before he can blink. He just holds onto her hips and tries to remember what he did to get her so revved up, so he can do it again tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Glee, I just love it a lot!**

_A/N: Quinn's having a rough time, but I promise a happy ending is in store for her!_

She feels like life moves by much faster than she can follow along sometimes. A bunch of the Glee kids are planning to go to OSU in the fall and she decides to go with them. She's had good grades, so she gets a few scholarships and she cashes in the savings bonds her parents have been buying since she was a baby.

Puck surprised them all and is using his pool cleaning money to pay for school. He's going to be rooming with Finn and Mike Chang. She and Tina will be sharing a dorm room too. Quinn thinks she'll have a lot of time to herself, but Tina is so excited for college life and invites Quinn everywhere she goes. They spend a lot of time at the guys dorm. She thinks it will be awkward around Finn, but unless he's eating or in class he's glued to his cell phone talking to or texting Rachel in New York. They all go to a football game together, and she's a little stunned when he throws an arm around her for a photo. He's seems willing to leave the past in the past and she's there for him a lot when he comes back from Christmas break and spends two weeks in a daze before he can tell anyone Rachel broke up with him without sobbing.

Her relationship with Puck is in an odd place. He tells her he loves her and she often spends the night with him, but more and more it's clear they have nothing in common. She doesn't want to lose him, there's so much about her he just understands without asking. She's not ready to tell a new guy that she's given up a baby or that sometimes she has to go home on the weekends to make sure her mom hasn't drank herself to death.

Quinn goes home for summer and she's appalled at the house. It hasn't been cleaned since she was there before finals. Her mom is a mess, drinking all day long. Its like having a child and it isn't long before she realizes her mom has lost her job and is about to lose their house. She calls the bank and sorts out a way to get the mortgage directly withdrawn from her mom's alimony payments and she gets a job as a bank teller to help catch up the late payments.

She doesn't have anytime for fun or a boyfriend, she cant even think about what Puck might be doing all summer long. When she's had a really bad day, she thinks this is all his fault anyway. If they hadn't had sex, her Daddy would never have left and everything would be fine. She knows that isn't true, but it's easier to be mad at him. He comes over one night at the end of the summer and asks her what's next for them. He still cleans their pool and he's seen the bottles by the lounge chair and watched her mom stumble around the house. He knows what she's dealing with, but she doesn't want his help. She says she doesn't know. She doesn't think she can go back to school, her mom can't be alone.

He nods, he understands. She thinks she'll have to transfer to the Akron campus and work at the bank. She doesn't think she'll be able to see him anymore. She says they both know this wasn't forever, and he looks a little wounded, but nods. He hugs her and says he's going to find Finn and get wasted. He says he'll tell them all it's his fault. She hides her face in his shoulder, so he won't see her tears.

She drives up a few weeks later, to pick up some of the things she's left at Puck's and finalize her transfer. Finn lets her in the apartment and offers to help her carry the box to the car. He sets the box in her trunk and shoves his hands in his pockets. She looks at his rumpled hair and the crinkles in the corners of his eyes, he has the same half grin from high school and she's frozen, thinking how much different her life might have been if she'd just stayed with him. She starts to ask if they'd ever be able to make it, but she stops and just hugs him instead. It all feels so final and she cries the whole way home.


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Glee, I just love it a lot!**

_A/N: Quinn's having a rough time, but I promise a happy ending is in store for her!_

Sometimes, Quinn thinks she knows why her mom drinks. It would be so easy to take a few shots of something and wash the pain away. She thinks its unfair that she is making sure her mom's mortgage gets paid, that they have food and a car, she's finishing school and working, but she's not even old enough to buy the alcohol that's causing this disaster.

She's been home for a year now. It feels like a million. She's begged and pleaded with her mom to get it together. She's yelled and screamed, hidden bottles, threatened to just let her die. But she remembers what it felt like, after the truth came out about Puck and the baby, when everyone abandoned her and she just cant do it.

She's been promoted to a loan officer at the bank. She works all day and takes finance courses at night and on the weekends. She'll be done with school soon and she actually enjoys the bank, so she's decided to make it a career. She doesn't have a spare second to herself most of the time and she kind of likes it that way. If she had too much free time, she might actually have to think about her life.

She sees people from school sometimes. Santana drops off the deposits from her dad's doctor's office, she's a receptionist there, and they make small talk, but they aren't really friends. Finn's mom tells her that he's moved to New York to teach and be closer to Rachel, and she's surprised that she feels genuinely happy for him. She helps Puck get a loan to start a landscaping business. Life is going on for everyone but her it seems.

One day, she goes home for lunch on a whim. The house feels awfully quiet and when she sees her mom sprawled across the bed, she instantly knows it's finally over. The next week is a blur of sympathy cards and flowers. She gets phone calls from people she hasn't heard from in years. Her sister is anxious for her to sell the house, so they can split their inheritance. She takes a few weeks of leave from work to sort through what needs to be kept and what needs to go.

She drops off boxes at Goodwill and her sister's. She puts some of the furniture on Craigslist and eventually she's down to just the basics and her own things. It's pitiful, really. The last 3 years of her life gone, and all she has to show for it is a few boxes and a couch. The movers take the last of her things to her new apartment and it feels strangely freeing when she shuts that front door for the last time. Almost like she's locking all of her bad memories and broken dreams inside. She feels lighter as she drives away.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Glee, I just love it a lot!**

Quinn watches the moving truck pull away. She's getting ready to go back into her new apartment, when she hears honking. She sees a black truck pull up beside her and smiles when she sees the Puckerman Landscaping logo.

"Hey, neighbor!" Puck says through the rolled down window.

"Neighbor?" asks Quinn.

He points to the apartment at the end of the row. "Yep, that's me right over there. You got any company tonight?"

"Nope, it's just me and a ton of boxes to unpack." She says, still stunned she has managed to move into Puck's building.

"Well, I'm throwing some burgers on the grill in about half an hour if you wanna come down?"

She's nervous, she hasn't seen Puck in a long time, but he seems friendly and she is starving. "Sure, I'd like that."

"Cool, see you in a bit." And he drives down the street a little and parks.

She heads back inside and looks around at her mountain of boxes. Her first thought is she should change out of her moving clothes. But it's just Puck, and she can't even begin to figure out where her clothes are. She grabs her toiletries bag and brushes her teeth and combs her hair and decides that will have to do. She makes her bed and a finds the few kitchen things she will need for breakfast tomorrow and then walks over to Puck's.

She has picked these apartments, well, townhouses, really, because they are in a quiet part of town and are pretty new. She's never lived anywhere on her own before. She knocks on his door and hears him shout "Come in!" from somewhere inside. She pushes open the door, curious about his home. She's never been in a place that was decorated by him before. She never went to his house in High School, and his mom bought all the things for his dorm room. She's surprised to see it's just normal furniture and not all black leather and chrome or something...sexier. His apartment is laid out just like hers and she walks through his living room and kitchen/dining room, before she sees him out side on the patio. She feels a little bad, because it's obvious that he's showered and put on clean jeans and a blue t-shirt. He looks really at home on the small patio. He has a table and comfy chairs and a ton of plants. It's funny to think of him caring for plants, but obviously he is good at it.

He smiles at her and tells her to have a seat, the burgers will be done soon. He takes his beer inside and comes back with sweet tea for both of them. He's made fries to go with the burgers. It's a little awkward at first, but soon they are talking about Mike and Tina's upcoming wedding and the ultrasound pictures Artie posted on Facebook last week and it gets easier. He thinks it's funny that all of them are so grown up know, and mentions Finn and Rachel are engaged. He freezes, hoping that isn't a painful subject, and is glad when she doesn't seem to mind. He steers the conversation toward work though and tells her all about the crazy client he had for his last job. It's starting to get dark, and she yawns.

"Oh, geez, sorry to be so boring!" He says with a laugh. She smiles and tells him it's been a long day and she needs to get back, but it's been a really nice evening. He offers to walk her home, and she says he doesn't need too, but he says he needs the exercise. They both laugh because it's barely four doors, but she lets him. He puts his arm around her and it's been so long since someone just touched her, she lets him. They are both quiet on the walk back and it's dark at her door because she forgot to leave the porch light on. He hugs her and his face is shadowy when he kisses her cheek.

"I had a nice night, Quinn. It's good to see you again. We'll have to do it again soon."

"Sure." she says shyly. "Next time, I'll cook." She watches him leave and smiles to herself. It was a good night. It will be nice to have a friend she thinks.

They kind of fall into a routine. He comes over every Friday, his dinner skills don't extend much beyond grilling so they eat at her place, and brings a movie and sometimes take out. She cooks and he always helps load the dishwasher. He's very different from the way she remembers him. He's careful with her too. He expertly avoids subjects he thinks she won't want to talk about. He brings funny movies to cheer her up. He won't drink alcohol in front of her, even though she saw beer in his cart the one time she ran into him at the grocery. Aside from hugging her when he leaves, he doesn't ask for anything more from her. After spending so much time with her mother demanding her every free second, it's nice to have such an easy going person in her life. The first few times he came over, they sat on separate ends of the couch, but somehow by the end of every movie now, she ends up curled against his side, with his arm around her. Sometimes, she thinks about how it might be nice to lean up and kiss him. And sometimes at night, when she's really lonely, she wishes she could ask him to stay. But she's afraid to mess it up.

She hasn't asked him if he's dating someone and he hasn't asked her either. Every now and then, she thinks she might want more. But mostly, she's OK with the way things are. Her job is going well, she's done with school, and she has a friend. It's the best her life has been in a long time and she doesn't want to lose it.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Glee, I just love it a lot!**

_A/N: This was not supposed to be a Quick story, but Puck will not go away, lol!_

Puck couldn't believe it when he drove home and saw Quinn Fabray in front of his apartment building. When he watched her pay a moving truck, and realized she was actually moving in, his heart leaped out of his chest. Be cool. He thought, as he made the snap decision to invite her over for dinner. He was stunned when she actually accepted. And he had rushed home to clean up and make sure everything was perfect, all the while hoping she wouldn't back out on him. Three months later, he's still kind of in shock, that he's sitting in her apartment, watching some movie he can't even concentrate on, because the smell of her hair is driving him crazy. It's the same coconut smell she's always worn. It's scarred him for life, he hasn't been able to smell suntan lotion without getting a hard on since high school. Not that that is always a bad thing, he thinks with a laugh.

Puck is aware that his relationship with Quinn is odd. There's a lot of stuff in their past and right now, they are just kind of ignoring it. He figures they'll get to it someday and he's finally ready to really talk about it. He's just waiting for her. He's changed a lot since high school. He thinks it started with Beth's birth. He was really messed up after that, going to juvie and in general screwing up. He hated watching Quinn with Sam. He decided he had to clean up his act. He'd lost too much important stuff by being a loser. He'd thought he was in heaven when she finally started dating him for real, but then he realized she'd changed too. She wasn't open, laughing Quinn anymore. There was this wall up and her smile never reached her eyes. He wanted to help her, but he was 17 and he didn't have a clue what to do. He just took what she was willing to give him and tried to give her whatever she would take from him. He isn't proud of how he handled a lot of stuff back then. He wishes he had fought harder for her. It hurt when she wouldn't let him help with her mom. And when she broke up with him and didn't come back to school, he was crushed. But he couldn't let her see it.

He graduated with a business degree and he knew he wanted to work with his hands. He worked with a few landscapers in Columbus before coming home to Lima to start a business of his own. He was thrilled when he saw Quinn at the loan officer's desk at the bank, but it only took a few minutes of talking to her to know something was wrong. She looked tired and fragile, and she talked to him about his loan and business plan, but she didn't really see him. He'd tried to ask her out then, but she didn't even seem to notice. He'd see her around town some and he knew she wasn't dating anyone. He knew about school and her Mom. But there wasn't anything he could do to help her. When he heard her mom had died, he'd sent flowers. He got a thank you note from her sister in the mail. He knew that Finn and Rachel and Tina and Mike were getting married this year, and he'd been plotting to see her at one of the weddings. He took it as a sign from God when he saw her standing practically in his front yard.

She still looked fragile, broken almost. That first night she'd come over, he was so afraid of doing something wrong and never seeing her again. When she'd hugged him back that first night, he was never so glad for the dark. He had tears in his eyes, he'd missed her so much. And that was not cool. He was working really hard at going slowly with her. Helping her clean up dinner and picking movies he'd never watch in a million years on his own. But he was making progress, and the first night she let him hold her during the movie was a major victory. Although, given his current uncomfortable state, he wasn't exactly sure which one was the victorious one. He gently rubs her back and wonders where they are going from here. He doesn't know how much longer he can take this limbo without breaking and scaring her off. His reverie is cut off by the sound of a crying baby on t.v. and without even thinking he says, "Do you ever think about her?"

Quinn thinks about playing dumb, he can feel her tense up, but then she relaxes and says, "Sometimes."

"Me too." He says softly, and he waited to see if she'll say more.

After a long time, she says, "It was the right decision, you know. It was so bad after, with" she pauses and he feels her breathe in, "with all the stuff with my mom. And I can't imagine having a baby in the mix too."

And he nods. She's right. "Sometimes, I think about where she might be now. If she's starting school or taking ballet. I wonder if she plays soccer or if she's lost a tooth. I cried every night that summer. I would never admit it then. I'm glad I did though. It doesn't hurt so much when I think about her now." He says all of that very quietly. He can feel her crying into his shirt. He takes a deep breath. This is the most they have ever talked about her. "I think you made the right decision too."

She sits up and looked him in the eyes. "Thank you. I needed to hear that." He thinks she has never looked more beautiful. And then she leans in and gently kisses him on the lips. His arm goes tight around her waist and he threads his other hand through her hair, kissing her for all he's worth. He's trying to pour every bit of longing from the last 6 years into one kiss. When he finally pulls back they are both dazed and he's happy to see that some emotion has finally made it into her eyes.

"I think you better go know." She says breathlessly, and he knows it's because she's scared and doesn't take it to heart. He kisses her once more at the door and tells her good night. He feels really good about where things will go from here and whistles the whole way home.


End file.
