Naruto 1. Chapter 1

**NOTES:**

** Based on the various snippets written by Rycott (or froop, on FicWad and the Fanfiction Forum) about a possible interpretation of how Naruto's childhood would have been influenced if Jiraiya had looked after him. Found the idea interesting enough to continue on, since Rycott/froop has mentioned that he has no interest in writing a full-fledged story dedicated to the concept.**

** Various bits of writing belong to him, and the rest are mine. Everything else belongs to Kishimoto. Rated M for safety.**

* * *

Jiraiya wasn't really sure why he'd done it. Sure the kid was the son of his student who had just given up his life for the Konoha Village, but that wasn't the reason he had decided to take the boy in. Old man Sarutobi would have surely looked out for him with the help of the village, especially with the Yondaime's request that the boy be looked at not like the container of the Kyuubi, but as a hero that protects the village. He never really did figure out why he had decided to take the kid, but he was ever so glad he did. Apparently the ladies loved men who were good with kids.

While the Toad Sage couldn't move at his usual pace, considering he was no longer travelling solo, his spy network kept him updated whenever anything major occurred fairly quick. Despite the Kyuubi's attack on the village, thankfully it appeared the other major villages were not immediately mobilizing to capitalize. Even Iwagakure, the village most likely to attack the village now that the Yondaime was out of the picture, didn't appear to be gathering its forces for an attack against Konoha.

Still, that could mean a lot of things, but not all of them were bad. Years of experience in war and battle had taken their toll on his optimism, but there was still not enough gone to believe in the worst-case scenario until he had undeniable proof. So for now, Jiraiya was content to take things slowly, and count on his network to be in touch should any new information that demanded his full attention became available. For now though, he had a small bundle of warmth that demanded his current attention. And from the rather putrid smell, Jiraiya would for the first time experience the horrors that mothers endured as they changed a baby's diaper.

000

Months later, Jiraiya finally "mastered" many of the arts that went into taking care of an infant, although that smell was something he doubted any shinobi would ever be able to overcome, and they were not strangers to some pretty horrific smells themselves.

The Sannin had once though about inventing a genjutsu to replicate the smell, but ultimately decided that it was probably far too inhumane to submit even his worst enemies to. Except for a certain ex-teammate, but other than that, he also doubted that the exact stench would ever be able to be truly replicated for tactical use and abandoned the idea.

For now, the only smell he was interested in was that of food, specifically from a ramen stand in the town he decided to stay in for the night. One thing he noticed was that, regardless of his temperament at any given moment, the child almost immediately melted into a perfect bundle of joy once the aroma of ramen filled his nostrils. Given who his mother was, Jiraiya could only chuckle at the fact that the boy was already a ramen addict, even though he currently couldn't handle solid food yet.

Making sure the child was safely secure as he waited for his order to arrive, Jiraiya allowed his memories to flood his attention, back to the days when he would often enjoy a meal with his apprentices. The Ame orphans, last he had heard from, were doing great things in an effort to change the way their country worked. He expected no less from the trio, although as their teacher, he admitted he was worried about them in the long run. It was to be expected, he thought, since they were working inch by inch to take Hanzō out of power. Their goals were not malicious, but given how firmly Hanzō held the country in his grasp, it would not be too far a leap in logic to assume that the more Yahiko's group made a name for themselves, the more threatened Hanzō would feel until it came to a point that he would feel the need to eliminate them personally.

Before his imagination got the better of him, his memories shifted to the small get togethers he'd have with Minato and his wife, Kushina. An especially fond memory came to him of the time they'd ask him to be their child's godfather, and the absolutely radiant look on the soon-to-be mother's face as she used the name they chose for their child based on the Sannin's first book on the hero who aspired to bring peace to the shinobi world. Given his perverted nature, it was seldom often that he'd see a moment where Kushina looked anything other than absolutely livid when the old sage would find a chance to 'research' his next Icha Icha novel. It especially didn't help when a few of those times would be when she and Minato were in the mood for some private intimacy.

Still, for all the malicious bumps, bruises, and broken bones the girl gave him, it wasn't hard to think of her as an adopted daughter, and the fact that she had died weighed just as heavily as that of Minato's, if not slightly more so. Rationally, he knew they were both shinobi, and as such death was always waiting for a chance to latch onto anyone who killed and tried not to be killed for a living. Death had no bias for age, gender, or occupation.

For Minato, he died a hero's death, defending his home from an attack by a powerful beast that would have instantly leveled it had he not been present. But for Kushina, it stung a lot worse in regards to how happy and ready she appeared to be a mother, which should have been a lifelong profession with a very generous lifespan, only for some unknown assailant to rip that dream from her arms mere moments after it had become a reality.

There wasn't much information about exactly happened, but Jiraiya was able to piece together a few of the most important bits. All he knew was that almost immediately after Naruto had been born, someone had arrived and used the child as a bargaining chip to tear the Kyuubi out of Kushina. From there, the information of the specifics of that night most likely died with Minato and Kushina, although Jiraiya kept his contacts on the lookout for any information, however unlikely, about the individual responsible for their deaths. If there were any individual Jiraiya wanted to murder more than the snake bastard he used to call his friend, it was the man responsible for the death of his student and surrogate daughter.

But focusing on the past for too long tended to make him bitter to be around, and Naruto often got upset when he got like that. Jiraiya didn't quite know how his godson was so sensitive to the emotions around him, but it was clear that whenever he let himself get upset, than Naruto too would become upset, and he owed too much to Minato and Kushina to let his old wounds boil over and fester in their child as well. But Naruto's rather unique gift seemed to go beyond just sensing the old sage's mood.

As much as it wounded his pride, there had been a number of times he had been surprised by a hostile ninja aiming to end his life, and it was only a split second warning of Naruto suddenly bawling that alerted him to the attackers presence. As he would later test out the theory, Naruto appeared to have some sort of sensing capability, and it was very rare for him to be upset unless it was because someone had a serious emotional chip on his or her shoulders.

His curiosity eventually led to sending some letters back to the Sandaime, hoping to see if they had any records on this unusual ability. At a great risk, as was any sensitive information no matter how secure the channels used to deliver it, Sarutobi has records that showed the first Hokage's wife, who was also the first known Jinchūriki of the nine-tails, also possessed a similar if not the exact same sensory abilities. Unlike most sensors, however, who detected chakra, Mito Uzumaki sensed emotions, and negative ones tended to be the strongest to feel.

From the information available, based on both Mito and Kushina's roles as both Uzumaki wives of a Hokage, and their statuses as a Jinchūriki of the Kyuubi, it wasn't currently possible to tell if the emotion sensory ability was a trait of the Uzumaki, the Kyuubi's current Jinchūriki, or even a combination of the two. Regardless, with the information Hiruzen was able to supply, Jiraiya was able to devise a temporary seal to keep the worst of it from getting to Naruto, so that only a Shinobi-level of hatred would be enough to agitate him. This also served to help keep most of the emotional pain of the old Sannin to himself, where it wouldn't upset his godson unless the sage became absolutely livid. A feat that had rarely occurred once he learned to cope with the death of the boy's parents.

Eventually, when Naruto was older and more capable of handling the strain, Jiraiya would slowly dial the dampener of the seal down until the boy wouldn't need a seal for it anymore. There were plenty of other things the sage could teach him in the meantime. At least, if Naruto grew up wanting to be a shinobi. And if Naruto had his heart set on something else, then Jiraiya would support him in the endeavor as best he could.

* * *

**5 Years Later**

Jiraiya had never been as proud of any of his students as he was right now. Naruto had progressed faster than anyone he could ever have imagined, sucking up techniques like none ever had before him. And at the tender age of 5, Naruto had completed his first solo mission. His mission, you ask? To peep unassisted into the ladies side of the hot springs.

The Toad Sage had high expectations for what his young godson would be capable of by the time they returned to Konoha, at least when it would come for Naruto to being settling his roots down for a little while, and learn to truly call the village his home. As it was currently, Jiraiya had arranged to make the trip to Konoha with Naruto in about a week's time, so that when it came time for him to be listed as a shinobi, he'd have a sense of familiarity with the village he was born in.

One thing the young boy was looking forward to was meeting "Jiji Hiruzen", as he affectionately called the Third Hokage. Once the boy had been taught how to read and write, the Sandaime began to try and make some contact with the boy. At this point, the two had only been introduced through letters that were regularly scheduled and a couple of photographs. Like Jiraiya knew would happen, his sensei really took a shine to Naruto, further highlighting his godson's remarkable ability to make friends with just about everyone he meets, regardless of the obstacles. He even went on record saying that Orochimaru would probably grow a soft spot for the kid if Naruto had enough time. Although it was a statement made in jest, Jiraiya had a small feeling that his sensei probably took the words to heart a little more seriously than he intended. That wasn't to say the Toad Sage doubted that, under the right circumstances it MIGHT be possible, but he wasn't going to gamble his godson's life on something like that until he was more than adequately prepared to survive an encounter with the snake. By then though, it would be more likely that Jiraiya would kill the bastard, so he didn't commit much thought to the idea, tempting as it sounded every once in awhile.

Jiraiya shook his head out of the clouds and grounded himself back to reality, as he prepared to continue Naruto's lessons.

"Alright kid, break time's over!"

The small blonde jumped from his position on the ground back to full attention. Whether it was coincidence or not, the boy was absolutely adamant about wearing his parent's signature colors, even if he didn't fully grasp the nature of his obsession for the color orange. This outfit consisted of an outfit very close in resemblance to what the sage has worn when he was around the kid's age, although it was mostly orange and the robe was cut several inches higher. On the back of the robe was a white spiral: the symbol of his Uzumaki heritage and a known symbol connected closely with Konoha.

As he dusted the dirt from the back of his outfit, Naruto wore a grin on his face that Jiraiya could say he definitely inherited from his mother, even if his outer appearance tended to resemble his fathers features almost perfectly. Unlike his father though, his skin had more color in it and his eyes were a brighter shade of blue. The whisker markings on his cheeks were the greatest feature that set apart his features from his fathers, and was an instant chick magnet.

Many a times as the duo were on their way from one town to another would ladies of various age groups tended to stop and comment on the boy's unique facial feature, and spend a great deal of time fawning over his reactions as they touched them. It was thanks to those marks that women found so irresistible that Jiraiya had gotten luckier with women in the 5 years he "adopted" Naruto than he did before.

Naruto was still too young to fully appreciate the attention he received, but Jiraiya saw a future heartbreaker in the boy, and absolutely loved being able to embarrass him about it. Under his guidance, Naruto Uzumaki would be the greatest shinobi and heartthrob in the Land of Fire since Hashirama himself, and Jiraiya would stake his claim as the world's greatest author and "super pervert" on it.

Feeling that the boy would need to get a good start on his path to fully appreciating the feminine form, Jiraiya had a plan for what their next training session would consist of.

As his godson stood in from of him eager and at the ready for the next lesson, Jiraiya masked the glee he felt in anticipation behind his desire to also teach the boy a common fact that would aid him in the long run to get comfortable with now.

"Naruto, my boy, you've made great strides in your training so far. I'm proud to say that I've never taught a student brimming with as much potential as you," the sage said. As he looked at the boy's face, he was surprised that the grin he wore hadn't split it in two.

"Now for the next few weeks or so, we are going to expand on one of the principles involved in the first solo mission you completed."

"What's that, Ero-Sannin?"

Jiraiya overlooked the nickname for now, although he mentally noted that he was still quite far from breaking the boy of that habit.

"As a shinobi, there is little to no etiquette in combat, save any particular beliefs you or your opponent happen to have or share. Regardless, you cannot always rely on your opponent being as honorable as you, and even then, there are opponents who you cannot fight on honorable terms with."

"What do you mean, Sensei?"

"Well take for example a shinobi who had a child fighting against one who does not. Now assume that the one who is not a parent knows that his or her opponent is someone who takes the lives of children seriously. Assuming they can't, or won't, win a fight honorably, they can use that knowledge to gain the upper hand by using a kunai with an explosive tag and throws it at a building filled with children. This in turn forces the other shinobi to act upon their desire to protect the lives that are now endangered, but often at a significant risk to themselves, since their opponent can use the time to turn the fight in their favor."

"That's not fair!" Naruto hollered.

"I'm of the same mind as you, Naruto. It is a cowardly trick, but unfortunately, the reality is there are far too many opponents willing to throw away all sense of honor in order to win. More often than not, you'll see shinobi who capture an enemy's ally or teammate as a hostage. Now to that end, this forces the other group to make a choice. They have the option of giving in to their opponent's demands, which very rarely work out well, or they can ignore the safety of their comrade in favor of the mission.

"However, in Konoha, we rarely accept the belief that our comrades and allies are expendable, and we work to free them if the opportunity presents itself. And if it doesn't, we believe that while only a piece of garbage would abandon a mission, those that forsake their friends are far worse than that."

"So what would that ninja from before do?"

"Well once again, Naruto, it would depend on the ninja. Some villages teach their shinobi to kill off opinions and feelings during a mission, so if that shinobi were from a village like that, they might be disgusted about it, but they might abandon the option of helping the civilian children in favor of defeating the enemy. If it were a shinobi from Konoha though, I would hope that they either find a way to hold their own while helping the children, or die in order to help them. If that were indeed the case, those of us left behind would see that the individual responsible is punished accordingly for their cowardice."

Naruto took a few moments to digest the information. One he let the information properly absorb, he returned his gaze to his godfather.

"I think I get it, but what does any of that have to do with peeping at naked women?"

Jiraiya couldn't help but let out a small perverted giggle until he could force it down, with minimal success, to resume explaining the nature of the training to his apprentice.

"Well you see, kid, you might not fully appreciate the divinely crafted features of a beautiful woman's body yet, but eventually, like every red-blooded boy before you, as you grow into manhood you'll find yourself hopelessly addicted to their appeal!"

"Aaaand…?" Naruto responded with a deadpan expression.

"Aaaand, therefore you are at the perfect moment to begin building a foundation of resistance against future enemies!"

While at first Naruto looked doubtful that the perverted old hermit was going anywhere, he soon found himself completely focused on the sage's words as he described how essential it was that this training would be for future enemies.

When asked to explain, Jiraiya looked very happy to oblige.

"Well as a shinobi, you'll need to grow accustomed to fighting a wide variety of enemies, and you will almost certainly find members of the fairer sex among them. And despite what you may currently believe, it is not all that uncommon for enemy kunoichi to flirt with and seduce their enemy. Some kunoichi also specialize in the seduction of high profile targets for any number of reasons. As such, when you inevitably come of age without proper preparation, you too could be at the whim and mercy of a kunoichi who uses her body to distract you!"

Naruto suddenly went from calmly focused to a nervous wreck as Jiraiya continued his explanation.

"So what do I do Sensei!?"

Jiraiya chuckled to himself, enjoying the look of complete helplessness plastered on the boy's face. He then prepared his stance, ready to make the grand introduction he enjoyed displaying for all to see.

"Well lucky for you, I am the author of the best selling Icha Icha Paradise! No woman is immune to my charms! No enemy is too powerful for me to overcome! I am the sage of Mt. Myōboku and the Sannin chosen by the toads! I AM THE GALLANT JIRAIYAAAA!"

After completing the dancing, exuberant introduction, Jiraiya stood frozen in position ready to bask in the awe of his disciple. When he heard no sounds of applause or admiration, he turned his gaze to Naruto, who looked at him with the familiar deadpan expression.

For an unknown amount of time, the two stood in silence as nothing but the sound of the wind blowing past them was heard. Eventually, the Uzumaki broke the silence, uttering "Baka Ero-Sannin."

At the exclamation, Jiraiya faked being mortally wounded by the words as he grasped at his chest and fell to his knees weeping. To his credit, Naruto allowed the man a minute or so to sob out his pitiful tale of how his apprentice doesn't understand him and other such melodrama before kicking his posterior hard enough to cause the Sannin to completely spin around in the air once like a toy spinning top before landing on his feet.

"Dammit, kid, that hurts!" Jiraiya chuckled good-heartedly. Realizing it was time to get back to seriousness, he schooled his face back into one more appropriate for teaching as he once again addressed his godson.

"Anyway, Naruto, you're still at a young age where your interest in the female form can still be considered cute and innocent. So while you can still take advantage of it, we're not only going to build a foundation for your future appreciation of beautiful women, but we will also work on increasing your resistance to any potential enemy kunoichi skilled in seduction you may come across."

"That sounds very contradictory, Ero-Sannin." Naruto responded, a look of suspicion plastered on his face.

Kami, how the boy constantly threw him off by using his father's face to make expressions the sage had only ever seen on Kushina. It was thanks to a combination of Naruto being both a boy and a child that kept shivers running down his spine as he recalled similar moments he tried, and often failed, to get out of a jam with his protégé's mother.

Returning to the matter at hand, Jiraiya kneeled next to Naruto as he put his arm atop of his godson's shoulders.

"Now I know you think I have alternative motives in mind, and I'll admit they're valid, at least to some degree. But another thing you'll come to realize is that as a shinobi, once you're hired to do a job and its been accepted, then regardless of your feelings of the matter you are still expected to do the job. Compared to a number of other things, asking you to peek of women is hardly the worst thing that you'll be asked to do."

"Really?"

"Indeed. I wouldn't ask you to go too far out of your comfort zone, and this is one of the better things I can ask you to do. Not to mention plenty of other boys you age, and plenty more my age and any age in between would LOVE to get the kind of assignment I'm giving you."

The look of skepticism was still present on the blonde's face, but as he weighed in everything Jiraiya explained, he decided that the training benefits were enough to forgive the perverted sage for is usual quirks, at least for now.

As the Uzumaki's face began to reflect his growing acceptance of the task, it took a great deal of willpower to keep Jiraiya from celebrating the first true step in getting the boy to follow the path of perversion. Given the boy's skeptical nature regarding the sage's methods though, the Sannin knew that the endeavor would be taxing. But Jiraiya would not have it said that he wasn't looking forward immensely to the challenge.

000

Naruto continued to surprise Jiraiya. Just a few short months ago he had made his first solo peep and now he had come up with a new way to peep. He decided the mind of a child truly was a great thing as the new technique allowed for a superior peeping session and yet was so simple he wondered how he had never thought if it before. All that he would need is a simple application of the Kage Bunshin Jutsu. So simple, yet so brilliant! By allowing the clone to do the peeping, the clone simply vanishes if discovered and no beating is taken and yet all the memories of the peeping are retained. Jiraiya wished he had thought of it all those years ago when he had been caught peeping on Tsunade.

Meanwhile, the blonde had also became much more understanding of Jiraiya's perverted ways. The Sannin was confident that Naruto Uzumaki would eventually rival his own perverseness. One day, he might also grow to surpass him as a _super_ pervert, but for now, the kid was still a little wet behind the ears, although he had a knack for playful mischief and even peeking was by its nature playful. For better or worse, this did not translate well if Naruto tried to come up with a plan or a prank that was intended to inflict serious harm.

Truthfully, Jiraiya was glad the nature of this talent did not extend into combat for a number of reasons, one of which being the fear that it might potentially shape Naruto's views and opinion's closer to that of his ex-teammates, who easily and often threw away the lives of anyone who served him for any number or reasons, no matter how small of petty.

Jiraiya knew making such a tremendous leap of logic was probably the surrogate father in him acting out. It was hard at times to keep a leveled perspective, considering he had raised his godson as his own child for the past 5 years. It tended to make him a little protective at times although by the end of the day, if not sooner, he knew Naruto had a good head on his shoulders and an even better heart in his chest. It made the Sannin cautiously optimistic that very little could ever put a permanent dent in the boy's psyche, although he would still need to learn and come to terms with some of the worst things the world tended to throw at anyone who pursued the life of a shinobi.

Thankfully, Jiraiya was able to keep him from some of the absolute worst, although he knew that before long he would have to start gradually introducing the boy in increments to some of the worst case scenarios he'd likely encounter when he became an official Konoha ninja.

For the moment, however, the kid could continue enjoying himself, as he created a small army of Kage Bunshins. Once he split the clones into smaller groups, he then assigned each group to spy at a particular location. Each group was also given a specific amount of time to accomplish their task, so that the rush of memories would not overwhelm his head if they had all managed to disperse around the same time.

This was an important exercise for a number of reasons. First, it taught Naruto the value of gather information instead of immediately charging into a potential landmine. It was a fairly basic concept, but not one that was always perfected by even the older generations of shinobi. Depending on how well he did, Jiraiya would decide whether or not to introduce Naruto to his network of spies. Truthfully, he doubted Naruto would come to enjoy managing the network. Jiraiya knew it was something not everyone took to, and while he hoped that his godson would eventually inherit the reigns, he would not be offended if Naruto chose not to. The Sannin wasn't getting any younger, but he still had plenty of time to find a successor to the stability of the network, should Naruto be unwilling or unable to manage the flow of information that helped to influence a great deal of the choices in Konoha.

But perhaps the most important reason was for the simple fact that it would be another opportunity to enjoy the sight of many unclothed or barely clothed women at once, and perfect the boy's skill at remaining undetected for long periods of time. By now, Naruto no longer immediately objected to the peeping missions, and he was starting to become quite the flirt as well. Jiraiya wasn't quite sure how his blonde godson excelled so easily at the task, when all his attempts to teach the boy by example often ended in many lumps and bruises for his trouble. Considering how Minato had only ever expressed interest in Kushina, and by the same means Kushina only ever had eyes for Minato, Jiraiya was not sure if the ease in which Naruto could woo the heart of just about any woman as long as she had a pulse belonged to either of his parents, or was a talent unique to him.

Jiraiya had a hypothesis that perhaps the boy, who greatly enjoyed positive attention himself, was simply using a similar approach in regards to women by giving them positive attention with a gentlemanly approach, even as it was heavily laced with perverted flirting. Unlike a majority of men though, who assumed they were better flirts than they were, Naruto was honest with every word, and his face showed none of the common slimy looks most common perverts tend to wear in ignorance.

The Sannin remembered an event back in Konoha. As he had Naruto look around the village to get used to some of the sights, he decided to get reacquainted with some of his favorite peeping spots around the village. After spending an entire day collecting "research" the Sannin had met Naruto at Ichiraku Ramen, a spot that was instantly cemented as the blonde's favorite spot.

While the ramen alone would have easily done so, it didn't hurt that the girl serving them their meals, Ayame he thinks that was her name, was quite a cute little thing. A little too young for Jiraiya, but almost perfect 'big-sis' material for Naruto. It absolutely floored Jiraiya how quickly the blonde was able to go from 'stranger' to 'otouto' to getting the girl to think some less than innocent, big sister thoughts. And then there was the girl's father, who was right there as the kid was hitting on his daughter! Knowing full well the wrath of a father when he senses someone attempting to flirt with his child, Jiraiya was immensely worried for his godson's wellbeing until he thought he had been trapped in a genjutsu as the guy all but physically embraced the Uzumaki as his future son-in-law.

32 bowls later, two of which were from Jiraiya, they were stopped before they could leave as Ayame pulled Naruto back behind the curtain quickly before her father could notice. The curtain blocked what happened, but the expression on the girl's face easily made Jiraiya jealous of the blonde, who couldn't wipe the smile off his face as "Ayame-neesan's" face positively glowed, and they certainly hadn't done THAT!

As he would later learn, Ayame was not the only girl who the blonde had won over in their short stay in the village. The blonde was fairly tightlipped about it, but he mentioned how he got to play the part of the knight in shining armor to a lavender princess, but he refused to divulge any more specifics. Naturally, the toad sage's curiosity was peaked, although his disciple was pretty good about keeping the information to himself. In truth, it was only because the "princess" in question had at some point been able to find out their routine that Jiraiya was able to learn that the girl in question was Hiashi Hyūga's daughter, Hinata.

Having briefly introduced himself to the girl, minus the usual theatrics out of fear the girl might die of a heart attack from how similar her posture resembled a frightened rabbit, Jiraiya was eventually able to get her to relax a little easier. Still, the poor thing suffered a lot of self esteem issues, so there wasn't much she could or would say comfortably, but Jiraiya had gathered that something akin to a Minato/Kushina moment had happened, and in doing so Naruto earned the heart of a girl his age much like his father first earned Kushina's.

Knowing as much as he needed to, at least for the moment, he allowed the young heir to the Hyūga clan to run off in embarrassment, rather than meet with her "savior". The inner parent that Jiraiya had developed over the years of raising Naruto was rather tempted to march over to the Hyūga Compound and then beat the living hell out of the girls father for actively working to cripple any sense of self worth the girl could develop. For the moment though, he simply had to hope that Naruto had been able to encourage her to rise above the handicaps instilled by her father with due time.

As the Sannin lost himself to the events that happened not too long ago, he soon became aware of a number of glares focusing on him, with the intent to cause severe pain. As he looked around, he saw a number of ladies glaring at him in anger, anger he was all too familiar with whenever a peep session went south.

"N-Now now, ladies! I'm sure whatever it is you're upset about, we can calmly talk about," Jiraiya nervously chuckled. However, the looks of bloodlust were no closer to disappearing. Finally, the apparent leader of the mob stepped forward, her nude form concealed by a towel that marked her as someone who had been in a rush to get out of one of the village hot springs. From the way her hair was still slightly wet, the sage deduced that it must have been a while ago. The glare on her face promised especially painful responses if the Sannin's next words were poorly chosen.

"Really now? So then, you think you can explain why we found YOUR kid spying on us?" She said.

"My kid?" Jiraiya responded, fear overriding his long-term memory of similar instances that, very rarely, happened when Naruto had gotten caught.

Another girl in the crowd responded.

"The cute one with whisker marks on his face!"

If Jiraiya had been able to calm down, he might have been able to draw from previous incidents where he received the blame for Naruto's peeping habits and would have likely come up with a good way to at the very least dull down their anger enough so the next few hours of his life wouldn't be as…painful.

"Oh, you mean my Godson, Naruto? Hey look, it's not my fault. I told him not to get caught!"

Almost immediately after the words escaped his lips did Jiraiya feel that he had made a grave mistake, especially as their gazes grew colder and much more aggressive.

"So you DID tell him to spy on us, then to write down everything he saw so you can use us for your porn novels!?"

Jiraiya felt the need to defend his novels, but he was too busy screaming in pain as the mob quickly converged on the sage and began beating him to pulp on the ground beneath him. It had only been 15 minutes, but felt like hours, until they finally felt satisfied and left him alone to wallow in pain. From the one eye he could still see, Jiraiya witnessed how many of the women before leaving the area tried to comfort what appeared to be an upset 5 year old. When the blonde was able to establish eye contact with his godfather without the other women noticing, his face briefly morphed into a taunting one as several of the ladies, many of whom with barely a cloth covering their bodies, bend down to hug him until he calmed down.

Eventually, they had all left. Jiraiya remained in the hole on the ground that had formed after the beatdown while Naruto made his way to the spot on the road where his sensei was, with a grin stuck to his face.

"You know brat, sometimes I absolutely hate you," the Sannin responded, his words muffled by the dirt in his mouth.

"Well that's a shame, Ero-Sensei, because here I was kind enough to write you some notes on everything that happened before I got caught. I was even gonna tell you how nice their breasts felt as they hugged me. Buuut, if you hate me so much-"

In a speed that defied logic, the Sannin jumped from his position to quickly bow his head in apology to the blonde, despite his numerous injuries.

"Forgive me, my amazing apprentice! I was foolish for doubting you!" Jiraiya exclaimed.

Once they made it back to the room in their hotel, Jiraiya spent many hours that night pouring over the notes Naruto wrote for him. Suffice to say, he wished he had taken the chance to send some of his own Bunshin's with Naruto's so he could have experienced some of the memories through his clones.

* * *

**6 Years Later**

After spending most of his life travelling, Naruto was told that they were finally settling down for a good amount of time in the village he was born! Sure, they had been to Konoha a number of times over the years, but this time they would be staying there for good. Granted, in the future, there would undoubtedly be missions that would require either of them to be absent from the village for long periods of time. Still, this was the day that Naruto would finally be able to settle his roots and build a real home for himself.

Jiraiya had been a pretty stern teacher, but given a number of events that had happened in recent years, Naruto was all the more appreciative of his godfather for everything. While he was quite strong for many shinobi well over twice his age, the Ero-Sannin had warned him from being overconfident. Naruto knew there was still a great deal more he needed to improve on before he could start entertaining the notion that he was anywhere close to being the sage's equal in combat, although the Sannin was optimistic that Naruto would eventually surpass him in every way.

One of the reasons that Jiraiya had decided it was time to integrate Naruto into Konoha was so that he could further refine the teachings he had already received, as well as learning to incorporate it into brand new teachings, learning to build his skills on more than one source of information. It might prove to be a difficult curb in the beginning, but that was why it was all the more essential to be able to properly learn from multiple sources. Here, Naruto could understand how it was others had learned while still having time to get acquainted with other prospective ninja's his age, especially before they began the Genin Graduation tests.

The duo soon spotted the main gate to the village of leaves. Kotetsu and Izumo, the Chūnin tag-team that were rarely apart from each other on duty, were no strangers to the occasional visit from the Sannin and his protégé, and were quick to welcome the two back to the village.

"Great to see you again Jiraiya-sama, Naruto-kun!" Izumo responded.

"So how long will you two be dropping by this time?" Kotetsu asked?

"Well for the moment, the plan is to get Naruto settled in and establish some connection with his peers. I'll be here as well until he gets comfortable, then I'll see how long I can remain in the village if my network doesn't have anything pressing to deal with."

The Sannin quickly addressed their questions, if the surprise on both Chūnin's faces was any indication.

"Well we were bound to make staying here a stable thing before too long. This way Naruto can get some time to practice everything I've already taught him in addition to learning a few new things here in the village. Plus it gives him some time to familiarize himself with the other kids his age, since he'll eventually be in a team with two of them."

Kotetsu and Izumo nodded in understanding, filling out the paperwork and making sure a message was sent to Hiruzen, who would want to know the plan, and likely gloss over some details with Jiraiya.

True to form, it wasn't long before the Sandaime requested his former student for an appearance. Since it didn't appear that Naruto would be needed, Jiraiya gave him and name and room number of the hotel they were staying at until they could find a house or apartment for Naruto to stay in.

Naruto decided to kill some time before heading to the hotel, so he walked around to re-familiarize himself with the landmarks. Seeing everything that changed or was added over the years tended to overwhelm Naruto a little, but thankfully the changes were very minimal over the years. Thankfully, this time he was here to stay, and could witness the change gradually.

While the first place he would have liked to visit was Ichiraku Ramen, unfortunately they were closed for the day. While Naruto would have liked to flirt with Ayame-neesan, he wasn't in a hurry, since he could see her just about anytime he wanted to, whenever he wasn't on a mission at least.

Unbeknownst to him, one Chūnin was looking at the blonde with interest, although it was hardly flattering since the Chūnin in question looked like he was on the verge of tearing something apart with his bare hands. The man looked at Naruto for a few seconds before withdrawing into a nearby shadow where he then completely disappeared.

000

The smell of smoke, which left the entire room with a near-permanent scent, was an odd comfort that Jiraiya hadn't realized just how much he missed. He tried to recall the last time he and his old sensei had gotten together just for the sake of exchanging pleasantries, but even before he had made the choice to take Naruto and raise him as his own son, it had been a _long_ time since Jiraiya entered the office for anything short of the need to move information between his spy network and the Hokage.

Hiruzen was similarly recalling with a nostalgic fondness of Jiraiya's pre network visits to his office, which usually worked to brighten his mood after a particularly stressful day. He suppose he has gotten caught in the memories because many of Naruto's visits, whenever they made the trip to see the village, often mirrored similar visits by a younger Jiraiya. Seeing as how his student was making the arrangements so that Naruto could begin settling down in the village, the Sandaime was unsure if he was expecting the blonde's visits to his office with fondness or apprehension. Perhaps it was a mix of both?

"So what other major milestones have your godson reached?" Hiruzen asked the Sannin.

"The most impressive one is his progress with the Kage Bunshin. The kid has so much chakra he can literally create a disposable army in seconds, and still have more than enough chakra to throw around some pretty high level jutsu." Jiraiya proudly explained.

"That is quite remarkable indeed."

"Oh, but that's not the best part Sensei. I haven't put it into practice, but with the Kage Bunshin's ability to relay information back to the user, I have a theory that Naruto could condense months and even years of training into weeks, if not days!"

"While that does sound intriguing, I'm glad you haven't seen fit to put it into motion yet. While it would be a unique chance for Naruto to gain a significant advantage over others, it is important that he first understand the importance of learning that not every challenge has a short cut."

"That, and I didn't want the kid to have a bigger ego than the one he already has," Jiraiya responded, earning a chuck from the old man.

"So other than the Kage Bunshin, what else does Naruto have at his disposal?"

"I've gotten him to take an interest in fūinjutsu. He's not ready to make his own seals yet, but he's learning the components that go into already existing seals pretty quickly, so I have no doubt he'll be ready to start practicing a few of his own designs before too long. When he's ready for it, I plan to show him his old man's kunai to see if he can break down and replicate the technique on his own. And who knows, he might also be able to improve it in ways none of us ever imagined.

"In addition, his chakra control is as a level that I think he could handle learning the Rasengan, but for now I'm planning to hold it back until he has some solid combat experience under his belt before he decides to start swinging those things around. Genjutsu's are still a bit of a bitch for him, but I don't see it being a long-term problem as long as he continues the practices I gave him.

"Beyond that, I've given him a few minor Fūton techniques to get him familiar with his affinity. They're nothing too outstanding, but the kid is creative with them."

"What about the sensory abilities you suspect are related to Mito?"

"For now, I'm keeping the seal on it fairly high. There hasn't really been a need for him to use his sensory ability, so I haven't bothered to work with him on getting used to it yet. Plus, with what information you were able to safely send, I wouldn't be able to come up with a good way to teach Naruto how to control it."

"So far, our records still show no indication of whether or not the ability stems from an unknown Uzumaki bloodline, or if it something that correlates to Mito and Naruto's status as the Jinchūriki of the Kyuubi. Given the nature of the tailed beast, however, I am more inclined to believe it is a trait belonging to those who keep the fox imprisoned, rather than something that comes from the Uzumaki bloodline."

"In any case, we can decide how to handle that when we can afford to commit some time to properly studying it."

"Would it also include training the boy on using chakra from the seal?"

"Right now I decided that it would likely be best for him to not tamper with it too much, although I did get Naruto to meet the fox once."

This piece of information shocked the Sandaime enough to cause the pipe in his mouth to noticeably shift for a second until he regained control of his features.

"You realize that was a dangerous choice that had a potentially deadly outcome?"

"I knew that going in, Sensei. However, once I begun teaching him about fūinjutsu, it was only a matter of time before he would start expressing interest in the seal that appears on his stomach every time he focuses his chakra. I decided it was better to be upfront in regards to it, rather than taking a chance that his curiously might force him to try and open it."

"So what was the outcome?"

"It went pretty well, all things considered, but once I told him about having the Kyuubi sealed in him, he tried to distance himself for me for awhile, like he thought he was the fox in human form. Took me days to kick that crap out of his head and get him to try and establish contact with the fox.

"Afterwards, he was a little shaken about the gravity of the situation really hitting home, but he took everything pretty well after that, knowing beyond a doubt that he really was a human being and not some malevolent fox we just stuck in the nearest living thing."

Hiruzen allowed himself to rest against his chair, happy that Naruto was not of the same opinion that many of the villagers appeared to share. Jiraiya, however, noticed how tense his sensei had gotten and how he relaxed once he had confirmed that Naruto no longer had any thoughts of being the Kyuubi in human form.

"You seem to be bothered by something, Sensei," Jiraiya stated, his tone carrying a level of serious only a father could pull off when they needed to know something important in regards to their children.

"Unfortunately, Jiraiya, many people in the village are not as enlightened about the nature of even the most basic of fūinjutsu, much less something as complex as the Eight Trigrams Seal. And due to that lack of enlightenment, they are quick to succumb to their imaginations to draw conclusions," Hiruzen sighed, feeling every year his age suddenly weighing on his body.

"Do I even need to ask what kind of imaginations they have?"

"The kind that believes the Kyuubi could break loose at any given moment. The more popular opinion is that the Yondaime sealed the monster's soul into a human form, intending to weaken the creature before finally finishing it off. Very few are even willing to consider the notion that Naruto is every bit the 11 year old boy he really is."

"I know for a fact that our shinobi don't feel the same?" Jiraiya asked, almost hesitant to give voice to the question for fear of being told otherwise.

"Even our shinobi are human, my friend. Thankfully, most of them do not share the same views as the civilians. Still, the tales of other village's Jinchūriki going mad at some point or another in history does tend to give them pause.

"Truthfully, I had hoped Naruto would have remained unaware of the subject for awhile longer. If the Clan heads and enough of the Jōnin had no reason to believe Naruto had any contact with the fox, it would have gone a long way to ease their concerns. They could have helped to relay that confidence to the rest of our forces, and show that Naruto is in no danger of being influenced by the Kyuubi in a manner that would be harmful to the village."

"Well, nothing we can do about that now, Sensei."

"Agreed. For now, let's get back to the matters we are currently able to deal with."

000

The Sannin's meeting with the Sandaime lasted for another hour or so before they decided to wrap up for the day, and finish making the arrangements for where Naruto will be living in the village early in the morning. Jiraiya decided to stop by the ramen stand that Naruto had taken a shine to, figuring it to be one of the two most likely places his godson would be at if he wasn't already in the hotel. Noting how the stand was closed for the day, the author then made the trip to the Hokage Monument.

Jiraiya wasn't alarmed to find that his godson was not present either. Although the sun was starting to set, there was still enough time in the day that the blonde could burn before he had to return to the hotel. Rather than go back and wait until the Uzumaki returned for the night Jiraiya decided to check some of the bookstores to see how well his novels were selling since his last visit.

Elsewhere, Naruto had to spend a good bulk of his time getting familiar with some of the more interesting locations in the village, namely the hotsprings or anywhere he'd be likely to get a good view for peeping. Throughout the venture, he had noticed quite a few signs that indicated his sensei often haunted a particular spot. With the information he was able to gloss over, he then worked to improve upon the Ero-Sannin's record and improve the quality of his peeping twice over, at least!

While every peep show was practically a reward in and of itself, the orange-clad pervert was compiling data that would aid him on his latest endeavor, which if it worked would not only truly allow the blonde to come that much closer to creating the perfect peep-show, but also solve a rather common problem that became apparent when there was nowhere in the immediate area that could satisfy any man's desire to drink in with his eyes the beautiful bodies of an attractive female.

Truth be told, he felt that, for his purposes, he already had a good amount of information to go on, but considering that this was to be his home now, he decided it would be wise to gather intel on it before he chanced a possible test run of his project. Throughout his travels with the toad sage, he had come to notice that many villages that primarily earned its living through its shinobi forces tended to carry a number of people with similar attributes.

For instance, Kumo sported a fair number of individuals with dark skinned complexions, although it wasn't unusually to see a number of paler skinned individuals who tended to have blonde colored hair. It was far from the only village that had its share of easily identifiable features, but even a feature that was common for one village did not always invoke a negative reaction in another, although Jiraiya had often told Naruto to keep his appearance masked when they made the rare trip to Iwa territory. Jiraiya had told him that his resemblance to the Yondaime would be something that was likely to rattle many of the nation's ninja who remembered the war where many of their forces suffered defeat at the hands of Konoha's Yellow Flash. Similarly, Jiraiya was also a figure that would be easily recognized as a Konoha-nin, although the Sannin was more largely concerned with the blonde's appearance remaining disguised than his own, but Naruto didn't bother to commit too much thought into it.

For now though, Naruto was looking to get a general idea of what kinds of "features" many of the residents in Konoha sported, so that when he began his first few trial runs, he would be as inconspicuous as possible. With the desire to record as much information as possible for ease of access later on, Naruto took out one of his small, worn-out journals and began to honor his master's long practice of "collecting research."

**End of Chapter One**

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**AUTHOR NOTES:**

** Ta-daaa, my first submission to the site that I wasn't paid to write! Just something to kinda tide over some of my boredom. Writing freelance, at least this early in my "career" of sorts is not a consistent thing, and I haven't really gotten any inquiries in the last month or so. Decided to see about broadening the range of stuff I'll whore myself out to get money for (not that I'm LITERALLY whoring myself out, mind you.)**

** Anywho, this is pretty much a freebee I'm doing to kill time. Like I said before, several pieces are directly copied or slightly edited from Rycott's story snippets from his ****_Perverted Naruto_**** collection. So far, I only see one snippet that I most likely won't include because, continuity-wise, it reeeeeally is NOT something I think I can make work well enough with the goal in mind to preserve the canon to the degree I would need to make the rest of the small stories work.**

** I'm even willing to work in the pieces I'm not a major fan of, such as the Fem!Haku stuff and the Animal Path that has boobs (check my profile for clarification). I realize most of this chapter is mostly expositional, so I'll be working to fix that for the next chapter, whenever I get around to it :P**


	2. AN

Hello all!

Story's not dead. I'm just preoccupied with a number of other issues, one of which involves finding a place I can go to for a certain number of hours every week with the understanding that i get green strips of paper-like material which i can exchange for various things at my leisure.

On another note, I am also working on another Naruto fiction, and I'm making some decent progress with it. I WOULD, however, like to find a Beta Reader to make sure my action scenes don't suck terribly, and maybe help with some ideas I have.

So yeah, I'll update this eventually, I haven't forgotten. But I would like to be able to incorporate as many legitimate pieces of writing from Rycott's collection as possible, including future ones he hasn't gotten to writing yet. I don't want to write out a scenario where Naruto pervs out on Ino and then find out that Rycott writes another scenario for a similar time that my OCD compels me to go back and rewrite it xD


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