Naruto 1. Chapter 1

A/N: Oooookay. I really wasn't planning on doing anything else in 'Otherside' universe, I felt I left it at a nice (i.e. happy) place. However... Yesterday Boris decided to be a very VERY naughty plot bunny and bit me HARD, demanding that I write something else to explain some of the loose ends from the original (And to be fair knowing me, create a few more). I truly TRULY hate Boris because now I can't get the idea out of my head. This isn't a direct continuation of 'Otherside' and is set roughly six months after the end of that story.

So yeah sorry all you guys and gals who thought the torture was over, it appears I've only just begun.

Disclaimer: Really, _REALLY_, you think I own Naruto? Yeah right. Not mine, they belong to Kishimoto I just enjoy torturing them.

Darkside: Prologue

The early morning light spread over the village of Konoha like a protective shroud, encasing and gently warming the frigid winter air that billowed up in puffs from the numerous chimney tops. From the rooftops the numerous Jounin of the village watched over the slumbering occupants, a warm sense of pride and relief fluttering through their chilled forms as they watched the sun rise.

The long night was over giving birth to a new day.

The leaf Jounin were not the only beings awake at the early hour. On the dusty streets a figure could be seen striding with purpose toward the outskirts of his village, a bouquet of flowers clasped in his arms. His casual clothing gave nothing away but the sureness of his stride and controlled movement marked him as shinobi. As the man reached the gates he paused to greet the gate guards with a small but genuine smile breaching his tanned features, causing his distinctive facial scar to crinkle. Umino Iruka bowed politely as he walked through the west gate toward the training fields, one particular field at the forefront of his mind.

The memorial stone loomed, its presence a solemn reminder of the fragility of life and the honour in being shinobi. Iruka approached silently, reverently, the iconic status of the place not lost on him. If anything he understood the importance of this place more than most, having lost more than his fair share of precious people. The brunette came to halt before the stone, the black marble glistening eerily in the rising sun's rays. Slowly he dropped to his knees and placed the bouquet of flowers at the foot of the memorial before clasping his hands together and bowing his head in prayer.

He remained like that as time flowed by minutes feeling like seconds to the brunette. He was so absorbed in his remembrance that he didn't notice the presence of another person until they were practically on top of them. Feeling the flare of chakra behind him Iruka spun around and as his gaze fell on his companion the mocha coloured eyes went very wide.

"H-Hokage-sama..."

It was indeed the Hokage minus her usual attaché of ANBU, at least as far as the sensei could tell. They were after all experts at cloaking their presence when they chose to. She like Iruka was without her formal attire dressed in civilian clothing and clasped in her arms was a bouquet of flowers.

The exact same breed of flowers the brunette had brought.

"Iruka-san."

Tsunade replied, moving beside the younger man and placing the bouquet next to Iruka's. The brunette regained his composure at the unexpected arrival and bowed hastily feeling a blush stain his features.

"My apologies Hokage-sama. I did not mean to be so rude."

The blonde let out a wry chuckle and shook her head.

"I am the one who should be apologising Iruka, I didn't think anyone would be here this early. It's even too early for the brat."

Iruka let a small smile grace his lips at the mention of his infamously lazy lover, of course the brunette knew that Tsunade's comment was far from the truth (as did the Hokage herself) but who was he to tarnish Kakashi's carefully constructed reputation. Tsunade seemed to sense his thoughts and smiled in return, causing yet another blush to erupt on the tanned man's face. Scratching the scar across his nose Iruka turned his focus back to the stone.

"You remembered her favourite flower." The brunette muttered quietly.

Tsunade didn't say anything in reply immediately and a look of pain crossed her face for a fleeting second before she regained her composure.

"I never forgot, I'll always remember how happy she was the merchants brought them to the village. Although she would drive them up the wall until she got them to give her them for free."

Iruka laughed sadly easily imagining the feisty young woman haranguing the foreign merchants, Umino Kozakura* was a far cry from the fragile flower she was named after.

"I'll always remember the first time she gave them to me. I remember looking at them like they were diseased, I mean what young wannabe shinobi wants flowers from their mother? She just laughed and thrust them in my face explaining that they described how she felt for me. I was confused at first but curious and ended up stealing a book from the Yamanaka flower shop, I was caught of course but when I explained what I wanted it for Yamanaka-san was quite understanding."

The brunette smiled at the memory, his five year old self leafing through the old tome looking for the silly flower his mother had lovingly given him. When he had finally found the strange bloom and the meaning behind the purple blossom, his brown eyes had teared up and he had sprinted home to launch himself at his Kaa-san. Even as a child he had been quite emotional and his mother had laughed whilst squeezing the life out of him in a bone crushing hug. Coming back to the present Iruka reached out to cup one of the vibrant purple flowers, the meaning vivid in his mind.

'_Amaranth- Immortal love'_

"Ah yes, well you do have a way of making things difficult for yourself don't you Iruka-kun. Certainly something you inherited from her, I never understood how your father managed to control her... He was the only one she'd ever listen to. I ended up in front of Sarutobi-sama more times than I'd care to count."

The blonde smiled sadly as she reminisced about the vibrant young woman she'd had the honour of calling her student and saw her spirit glowing brightly in the younger man before her. Things between herself and Iruka had still been a little rocky at first since the whole 'Kakashi' incident but overall they were getting on better than ever. Both of them helping one another to overcome some of the more painful aspects of their chequered past. By remembering those who had gone before them both Hokage and shinobi had found a way to reconnect with something that they thought had been lost to them entirely.

A link to the past reforged.

It also helped that Iruka was one of the more influential 'paperwork' ninja, it gave them both ample excuse to just while away the hours just chatting about everything and nothing. The man was a surprisingly good conversationalist something she had been surprised by now that she had bothered to get to know her students child better. Tsunade was sure that both Kozakura and Ezume would be proud of their son, he had grown into a fine young man... When he wasn't being a stubborn ass.

Seemingly at the end of their ritual both adults rose to their feet and bowed once more to the stone.

"Happy Birthday Kaa-san."

"Happy Birthday Kozakura-chan."

As they turned to leave a chakra flare signalled the arrival of another person. Tsunade frowned recognising the chakra at once, it was that of Ferret one of her top ANBU agents and she couldn't understand why the man had followed her this far. Surely what he had to tell her could wait until she reached her office, wasn't she allowed _any_ downtime?

Apparently the answer was no as the figure steadily approached no longer bothering to hide himself, he paused momentarily as he felt a wave of agitated chakra hit him before continuing onwards only coming to a halt once he had reached the Hokage.

"What the _hell_ Ferret, I asked not to be disturbed. Can't I have even half an hour of time to myself."

It took all of the ANBU's training not to flinch under Tsunade's pointed glared and sharp tongue. Normally he wouldn't have bothered with such a menial report, but the Hokage had been asked to be notified immediately of any changes concerning this particular subject matter. Still unwavering under the stony glare Ferret took in the blonde's companion and once again just about held off a wince. It wasn't that Ferret disliked the sensei, it's just that he'd received more than enough lashings (both verbal and physical) from the man outside his ANBU persona to know that staying on the brunette's good side was a good idea.

He still had scars from the last time.

Pushing the worrisome thoughts aside, Ferret cleared his throat and began to report.

"My apologies Hokage-sama but you specifically ordered us to inform you immediately should there be any changes to this particular prisoner."

A tawny brow raised in question "And which prisoner would that be?"

"Touji Mizuki."

At the mention of that accursed name Iruka paled and froze, the old scar that marked his back, Mizuki's memento, throbbing painfully. The brunette could feel his heart speeding up a deluge of conflicting emotions crashing through him at the mention of his old friends name, hate, anger, loyalty, sorrow, remorse, sympathy, camaraderie to name but a few. It really angered the Chuunin that he still felt some feelings of friendship toward the man that had not only once but twice tried to kill him but he was who he was. Mizuki had been his best friend for the longest time and those kinds of bonds were difficult to shatter no matter what strain was put upon them. If anything the time spent trapped inside his psyche had taught him that.

Tsunade turned to her companion, worry flitting through her eyes at the complete change in the brunette's demeanour. The normally confident man had seemed to shrink inside himself and pallid tint to his tanned complexion had not gone unnoticed, nor had the unconscious shake of the man's hands. It reminded her of the Iruka from the ordeal six months prior and it truly worried her, she had vowed to not let the man go back to that dark, dark place. Frowning she looked away seriously contemplating taking out her frustration on Ferret. Of all the times for that man to be brought up, it just had to be when the one person that could be most affected by it was with her.

"Maybe we should take this to my office Ferret."

The ANBU seemed confused by the request, it wasn't as if the information was highly sensitive and he was fairly convinced that the brunette had the necessary clearance to hear it. He just couldn't understand the problem, but he was ANBU and ANBU followed orders. Nodding he turned to leave but a pained hiss caught his attention.

"Hokage-sama." Iruka's voice was low, pleading.

Tsunade sighed deeply "Iruka..."

"Please Hokage-sama I have to, no I _need_ to know."

"Hokage-sama, I don't understand the prob..."

Ferret's query was abruptly halted as the blonde rose her hand for silence. She narrowed her eyes at the ANBU and shook her head, indicating that he was _not to interfere _ in this discussion unless of course he wanted the most horrific mission he could imagine. Not wishing to tempt fate Ferret remained silent.

The Hokage turned back to Iruka a stern look on her face.

"Iruka you understand why I can't allow..." Tsunade started but was cut across.

"How am I meant to get past him if every time he's mentioned everyone clams up like I'm going to have a breakdown. I can handle it, I'm a shinobi not some fragile doll made of glass and it pisses me off that you think of me that way."

There was a heavy sigh "Iruka..."

The brunette just grit his teeth and fitfully wrestled with his temper, he could feel the burning embers of rage beginning to cloud his mind and he took a deep breath as he fought for control. Honestly they way they avoided the topic it was as if they thought he would totally break to the point where he would be unfixable. It was so infuriating, he was not a child nor something that needed sheltering from the world. He'd seen more than enough of life's atrocities to attest to that.

"Hokage-sama, if you feel me unable to cope with this then you may as well retire me as a shinobi. If I can't handle this then I can't handle anything."

The words had their desired effect, Tsunade's face turned sullen and she glared with honey coloured eyes.

"Fine... For Kami's sake you're even more stubborn than the brat. Ferret report..."

The masked man appeared uneasy but continued his report to the Hokage.

"At your request you were asked to be informed of any changes to the condition of Touji Mizuki..."

"Yes, yes I know that... What's the change in his condition?" The woman's voice was coloured with impatience.

"He's dead."

"WHAT!" The shock and anger were completely unfeigned.

Iruka didn't register much beyond that the shock numbing his entire being. As the words registered in his brain they caused his head to swim unpleasantly and the last thing he remembered as the darkness closed in were concerned amber eyes and a mocking laugh echoing in the back of his mind.

~End Prologue~

A/N: So what do you think? Have I sufficiently wet your appetite? As usual reviewers will be showered with awesomeness and sweet treats ^_^.

*Kozakura means 'Small sakura tree.' (I think) Ezume means pure water.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow... I mean seriously wow. What a response ^_^. I really wasn't expecting quite so much support for this, I'm utterly gob-smacked. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. Now I feel a little more confident and my ego has been sufficiently stoked lets carry on with this evil plot bunny of doom. XD

To my anon reviewers:

**Bookwyrm:** Thank you for the cookies and the carrots ^_^ They helped fuel the creative process. I glad you enjoyed 'Otherside' and hope you will find this just as interesting. Boris is jumping up and down in angsty glee lol.

Disclaimer: Still not mine and oh how I cried when Kishimoto said I couldn't have them.

Darkside.

Chapter One:

_Kakashi opened bleary eyes and found himself staring into nothing but darkness. Frowning he clambered to his feet, his whole body sluggish in response as surveyed the area. He was completely surrounded by darkness and there was no point of interest in any direction, there was nothing in any direction. Undeterred the silver haired man began moving forward through the inky blackness, which felt like syrup and hindered his movements as he waded through._

"_Kakashi..."_

_He stopped at the sound of that voice and spun around, but still there was nothing but darkness. Feeling something grip at his heart he called out to his lover._

"_Iruka... Where are you?"_

"_Kakashi... I can't see anything."_

_The unknown emotion that had gripped the Jounin's heart intensified and finally he recognised it, fear. He began to run, limbs heavy as they fought against the soup, almost frantic as he searched for the brunette. Finally Kakashi couldn't run any further, he was totally spent and slumped to his knees as the exhaustion consumed his body._

"_Kakashi!"_

_The shout was followed by a loud thump and it startled the silver haired man out of his daze. Once again he spun around and this time he caught sight of something in the distance, summoning the last of his strength Kakashi dragged himself forward. Slowly the pin prick of whatever it was became bigger and as the Jounin recognised what was in front of him he gasped._

_The something he'd seen from a distance now loomed before him dominating the entire space, it was a giant hourglass ornately decorated with bronze and silver serpents. The sand was gathered in the top section held in place by a shutter switch and in the bottom section, Kakashi's heart stopped. _

_Iruka. _

_Iruka was trapped in the bottom section. _

_The brunette was pounding against the glass his back to the Jounin, fear and anger rippling through him as he fought to escape. The silver haired man crawled up to the glass and knocked to garner the Chuunin's attention, wincing as a shock flowed through his system. It appeared the fragile substance had been reinforced and warded. However the action had the desired effect and Iruka turned to face him._

_Fear, pure unadulterated fear was pouring off the brunette, so much so that Kakashi could taste it on the air. Iruka had been stripped of everything apart from his uniform shirt and pants and his usually bound hair was loose around his face. He scrambled across the mental floor and placed a shaking hand against the glass, dark eyes wide. Iruka mouthed something and Kakashi struggled to hear him, the wards blocking anything from escaping the prison even sound. A flash of movement above them caught the silver-haired mans attention and his gaze moved upwards._

_One of the silver snakes had apparently come to life and had wound itself around the shutter mechanism, hissing viciously at the two men. Both sets of eyes went wide as the serpent coiled ever tighter around the switch causing it to slowly creak open, allowing a trickle of sand to edge through onto the Chuunin's head. Kakashi instantly sprang into action and leapt toward the abomination. However he didn't make it far and slammed into the accursed barrier, the force of his jump sending him flying backwards. He landed on his feet and skidded backwards, above him the snake hissed once again and Kakashi could have sworn that the vile creature was laughing at him. The snake coiled it's body tighter and fully opened the shutter allowing a bulk of sand to cascade through drenching the Chuunin._

_Desperate, both men began throwing jutsu at the glass barrier all to no avail and soon the sand was up to Iruka's waist making it increasingly difficult for the brunette to move. The Chuunin fought against the rapidly rising tide of sand to the rim of the glass, mocha coloured eyes pleading for help. Blind panic began to grip Kakashi as effort after futile effort failed to free his lover and the steady flow of sand continued to fill the glass. The level had now reached Iruka's chest and the brunette was clawing at the glass trying to give himself some leverage against the solid sea that was trying to swallow him whole._

_The silver haired man saw no other alternative and electricity crackled along his palm, focusing all his energy into his hand he thrust it forward into the barrier. The barrier crackled and shuddered around the appendage but didn't move. Now beyond desperate Kakashi kept hammering with Chidori frustration, anger and terror burning through him as he helplessly watched the section fill. The sand was now up to the brunette's chin and Iruka helplessly reached upwards trying to grasp onto something, anything to try and pull himself up, out of the quagmire._

"_No, NO, NO!" The Jounin cried slamming every last bit of energy against the barrier._

_Inside the chamber the sand had reached over Iruka's mouth and he had ceased struggling. In that single moment the brunette accepted the inevitable and gave one last love filled look to Kakashi before closing his eyes and letting the remainder of the sand engulf him._

_Outside Kakashi went completely still, grief and horror seizing his frame rendering him immobile. He slumped to his knees utterly defeated, above him the plethora of reptiles twisted and twined around the glass tongues lapping the air in satisfaction. The silver haired man felt the barrier drop and instantly he moved forwards driving his bare fist into the glass, under the immense pressure the glass cracked and then shattered freeing the sand in a tsunami which almost swallowed the Jounin. Kakashi hastily jumped back as the wall lurched forward and then as it stilled began to wade through the grainy substance in search of Iruka._

_After a few minutes of digging he came across a tanned hand and grasping it tugged the limp form of the Chuunin out. Kakashi felt his heart stop and simultaneously break as he pulled the still body toward him. The usually silky brown hair was mattered and coated in the sticky sand. In fact there wasn't a single part of Iruka that wasn't covered in the vile substance, but that didn't stop Kakashi pulling the man close. Feeling raw and utterly devastated the Jounin screamed at top of his lungs into the brunette's rapidly cooling shoulder, screamed at the unfairness of the whole situation, screamed at the pointless loss of life and screamed at the gaping hole in his heart._

_Around him the ornate snakes had slithered down to encircle them, forked tongues tasting the despair in the air and baring their fangs in glee. Kakashi didn't even acknowledge their presence until they reared back, venom tipped fangs almost fluorescent in the darkness. He looked up into the yellowed eyes for a second and then just closed his eyes, willing the end to be quick._

The silver haired man started awake, his left eye aching as though he'd been through a thousand battles and spinning wildly. Hissing in pain he closed the crimson orb and placed a shaking palm against it, his heart still pounding in his chest as the remnants dream filtered through his consciousness. Kakashi winced as the fragments came together and felt a dampness against his palm. Frowning he pulled his hand away from Obito's eye, trying to ignore the salty tears rapidly drying on his pale skin.

"Damn cry-baby." He muttered without any real malice. It had just been a dream, a frighteningly realistic dream but a dream none the less.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed Kakashi felt a stab of worry hit him square in the chest. Just where was Iruka? The brunette had definitely been there when they'd fallen asleep together after the Jounin had returned from a mission. But now he was nowhere to be seen or sensed. His frown deepening the silver haired man stood and stretched his still tired and tense body, knowing that until he saw the Chuunin was safe and unharmed that he wouldn't be able to relax.

He padded through the apartment he now knew like the back of his hand and headed straight toward the kitchen. The mission had not been particularly difficult but it had been draining and he had had nothing to eat but ration bars the entire time. Kakashi grinned slightly as he spotted the covered pan on the stove, it appeared the brunette had made stew. Lighting the burner he began to heat the chunky mixture, stirring it occasionally to prevent it from sticking. When he finally deemed the stew hot enough he doled out a bowl and moved toward the small but spacious dining room, knowing Iruka would kill him if he ate on the couch. The Chuunin wasn't overly picky about most things but not eating at the table was one of the few things that truly drove him up the wall, he reasoned that what was the point in having a dining room if you weren't going to use it. That and the fact he had enough stains to clean off the couch without food being added to the mix.

Chuckling slightly at the memory Kakashi prepared to dig in to the broth but as he was about to swallow the first mouthful there was a knock at the door. Bemoaning his cruel fate the Jounin quickly pulled up his mask and headed toward the door opening it with a flourish and a glare. The glare rapidly fell as Kakashi recognised the man standing before him, well as much as anyone could recognise an ANBU member. Instantly a curl of unease twisted in Kakashi's gut, this was clearly not a social call.

"Ferret." The silver haired man's voice was clipped.

Ferret tried not to shudder under the piercing gaze, standing firm against the man's intimidating aura.

"Hatake-san, Hokage-sama wishes for you to meet her at the hospital as soon as possible."

The hospital? What the hell was going on? Kakashi wanted to question the ANBU standing before him but felt that even if he threatened the man he wouldn't divulge any information to him. Sighing he nodded his assent and shut the door non too politely in the man's face. Behind the door the silver haired man felt worry ripple through his stomach and quickly ran to get fully dressed, he had a feeling he wasn't going to be happy once he reached the hospital.

Outside the apartment Ferret released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. God damn it he knew most ANBU and ex-ANBU agents were scary and totally bat-shit crazy, but Hatake-san really took the biscuit. He'd never known anyone (perhaps except the Hokage) with the ability to make hardened soldiers want to pee themselves with just a look. Then again Umino was no wilting violet himself, especially when he was pissed. Either way he knew he didn't want to be present when Hatake found out what had happened, he was pretty sure the man would be gunning for him. With a shake of the head he vanished in a puff of chakra smoke.

Twenty minutes later found Kakashi walking through the double doors leading to the hospital reception, his usual slouch and bored demeanour fixed in place. He approached the desk and casually leaned against it waiting for the nurse on duty to notice him. After a few minutes she turned to face him and a small tentative smile crossed her face.

"Good morning Hatake-sama."

Kakashi smiled in return, recognising the young woman as the intern who had been part of Kimura's medical team six months prior. After that whole incident he had gotten to know some of the medical staff quite well and Kohaku-san was one of the few that he genuinely liked and didn't just respect. Even though she had been jumpy at first around him she had eventually loosened up, and whenever he ended up in hospital now he always requested her as his nurse. Her bright cheery outlook and sarcastic wit was a refreshing change to the usual stiffs he had to deal with.

"Kohaku-san." He nodded in reply.

"What brings you here today Hatake-sama?"

"Hokage-sama asked to see me. You wouldn't happen to know what for?" He kept his tone light, masking the unease he felt.

The young intern furrowed her brow in confusion and shook her head solemnly. Kakashi sighed in response, he'd been afraid of that, if Tsunade was hiding things from her staff then it meant something was a foot.

"Ah thank you anyway Kohaku-san, could you tell me what room she is currently in?"

The intern picked up her listings and flicked through it quickly seeking out the Hokage's stamp. After a few minutes she found what she was looking for and frowned deeply as she read the ledger. The Jounin noted the change in her expression and it did little to soothe the copy-nin's frayed nerves.

"Something wrong?"

Kohaku seemed to remember where she was and blushed at her distracted behaviour. "Er... No, not really just something unusual that's all."

A silver brow rose in curiosity "Really, such as?"

"It's just odd, it says that Hokage-sama is with a patient, it just doesn't say who the patient is."

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed in suspicion, why would Tsunade ask to see him in an anonymous patients room? Perhaps he was about to be assigned a mission, but he just couldn't shake the tense feeling in his gut that he was drastically missing something about this situation. Maybe he was just being paranoid? He had to admit he was still feeling a little shaken from the dream and the fact that he had yet to run into his lover was starting to bother him. Sighing and deciding to deal with whatever this was as it came he took the room number from the intern and bade her farewell, before winding his way through the labyrinth that was the Konoha general hospital.

The silver haired man trawled the corridors and climbed the stairwells as he made his way to the top level of the hospital. The fifth floor was surprisingly quiet and Kakashi felt uncomfortable walking down the almost silent corridors. The doorways passed him by in a blur of numbers and letters and as he finally approached the door in which Tsunade was working he felt a moment of hesitation and trepidation. Shaking his head disapprovingly he knocked on the door and silently awaited a response. For a few moments there was nothing but silence but the it slowly creaked open and the Hokage came into the entryway.

"Brat."

"Hokage-sama, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes come in, come in."

The blonde moved from her sentry point in the doorway and allowed Kakashi access to the room, the silver haired man walked in behind her and froze at the sight on the bed. Iruka lay pale and unconscious on the crisp hospital bed and the Jounin was suddenly reminded of the last time he had been in this position. A cold numbness spread through his stomach and he tried rather unsuccessfully to squash the small kernel of panic that was erupting in his chest. Seeming to sense Kakashi's thoughts Tsunade placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled faintly.

"Don't worry brat it's nothing like last time, just a minor case of shock. I asked you to come because I thought he'd appreciate having a friendly face around when he woke up."

The panic that had begun to worm it's way through his chest dissipated immediately. The Jounin knew the Hokage wouldn't lie about something like that, especially considering what they had both been through. Closing his eye Kakashi visibly relaxed, relief obvious in his body language.

"What happened?"

"Iruka was privy to some rather distressing news."

The comment was clipped and the Hokage purposely avoided the silver haired mans gaze. Kakashi instantly picked up on the avoidance tactic and frowned, a trickle of worry invading his mind.

"Is Naruto all right?"

Tsunade nodded "He's fine, just sleeping off his last mission."

"What about the little ones?" The Jounin's voice was quiet, secretive.

Again the blonde nodded "ANBU reported to me last night, their encampment is safe and they are all healthy."

Kakashi felt a little better at those words. After confronting Tsunade over the whole Iruka incident and inadvertently using the Sharingan on her he had accidentally let slip about Iruka's charges. He hadn't realised it until a week later when the blonde had called him into her office, fingers stooped and face serious she had informed him that she knew about the small encampment of children. However much to his relief Tsunade had not only promised to keep the whole thing secret, but also had an ANBU posted on the outskirts of the camp just for safety. Iruka of course had no idea about it as both Kakashi and Tsunade were fairly certain that the brunette would be less than impressed with their interference.

"Then what was this distressing news?"

The Jounin could feel his temper starting to flare, he truly hated being left out of the loop. As much as he usually looked disinterested with the word it was actually very far from the truth, he blamed his genius disposition, that desire to just _know_ how things worked. He turned a steely eye on the Hokage and the blond sighed deeply.

"Mizuki."

Kakashi bit his lip in an attempt to stem the encompassing anger that had erupted through his system at that name. He truly loathed the man with a passion and not without good reason. Mizuki had nearly destroyed his lover and his lovers adoptive son on a number of occasions, not excluding all the physical and emotional abuse Iruka had suffered at his hands through his childhood. Of course Kakashi only knew snippets of those dark times, fragments that Iruka had shared with him hinting at suffering beyond compare.

"What does _he_ have to do with this?"

"He's dead Kakashi."

That stopped the impending rant and the stormy grey eye went wide. Although he was glad the bastard was dead, the Jounin just wished he'd been the one to do it.

"When and how?" The silver haired man was all business, the previous bored demeanour fleeing.

"Last night and I'm not sure, I haven't seen the coroner's report yet."

"And how did Iruka hear about this?"

Tsunade sighed and crossed her arms "He was with me when Ferret was giving his report."

"With you?" There was definite confusion and suspicion in Kakashi's tone.

"We were at the memorial together, it's his mother's birthday."

Kakashi nodded solemnly, he vaguely remembered Iruka mentioning something about it to him, but then he had become _distracted_. As if noticing the train of Kakashi's thought there was a groan from the bed as bleary brown eyes fluttered open and instantly closed again as the harsh fluorescent hit them. A tanned hand rose and rubbed across the lids, trying shake away the fuzziness of unconsciousness. The two other occupants of the room were instantly at the brunette's side, Tsunade examining his with ruthless efficiency and Kakashi just hovered lending his silent support.

"Hey 'Ru welcome back." The Jounin whispered, relieved as he placed a gentle kiss on the man's forehead.

The brown eyes narrowed as pain shot through Iruka's skull. "Ugh.. did someone get the number of the cart that hit me."

Kakashi chuckled lightly as he helped the man to sit up, Tsunade still hovered just out of sight arms crossed across her ample bosom. She was watching the brunette carefully to see if there were any lingering signs of shock. Noticing the intense gaze Iruka lifted his bowed head and met the piercing amber eyes of his Hokage, flushing under the heavy stare he quickly dropped his head to the floor.

"What happened?" He asked tentatively.

"You passed out from shock." Tsunade informed him curtly, eyes narrowing.

"S-shock?... I don't under..."And then like a tidal wave the memories hit him and Iruka gasped as his body began to shake involuntarily.

_Fuck, fuck, FUCK!_

Iruka knew he was knee deep in trouble, this sort of reaction was too big to overlook. Tsunade was going to want answers for his behaviour and that meant dredging up a lot of bad shit from his past. And quite frankly Iruka didn't know if he was up to doing that, he didn't think he'd ever be ready to do it. However if the brunette didn't give any answers Tsunade could quite easily have him detained in an 'Unstable-ninja' psyche unit until they got to the root of the problem.

It was a majorly fucked up catch twenty two.

And the saddest thing was he couldn't blame them for it, he'd brought this on himself.

Iruka turned to meet Kakashi's inquiring eyes and tried to force down the wave of nausea that rolled through his stomach. He pleaded mentally with his boyfriend to stand by him on this matter, that this was one of those situations where things were better left unsaid. But it appeared that the silver-haired man was thinking along the same lines as the Hokage, he wanted answers and he wanted them now.

"Explain." The blonds voice was sharp.

Tsunade sounded angry, hurt and Iruka couldn't blame her.

"I-I can't..."

"God damn it Iruka. Why didn't you tell us about this, I knew that things were messed up between you and that _bastard_. But I didn't think it would still affect you so much, not after all you've been through."

Kakashi sounded angry, hurt and Iruka couldn't blame him either.

"That does it, I've been far too lenient so far over this but you are going to see a psyche-nin."

Brown eyes went wide and Iruka gaped in shock before pursing his lips together in a stubborn scowl.

"No."

"That was not a request _Umino_, that was an order. If you leave this unchecked you are a danger to yourself and your teammates, who knows what else could be a trigger and what could happen. Next time it could be something much more serious than just fainting." Tsunade sounded adamant.

The brunette truly couldn't fault her logic, he really couldn't but that didn't mean he had to like what she was suggesting. He loathed psyche-nins with a passion, they represented and inescapable weakness he couldn't overcome and even at the best of times he despised people nosing into his life, even those he loved and trusted. Again Iruka turned pleading eyes on Kakashi, hoping that the man would stand by him and fight for his cause. However the visible grey eye looked thoughtful and that was a very bad sign indeed.

"Kakashi... "

"I hate to admit it Ru' but I think she's right."

"But you don't understand..." The brunette could hear the hysteric edge to his voice.

"What don't I understand?" The Jounin's voice was cold and flat.

"I...I..." Flustered rage tainted every syllable.

"If I don't understand then it's because you haven't explained it to me, you never let me in especially about your past and it pisses me off."

"It isn't your place to know." Iruka shot back eyes flashing.

"Oh... It's _not my place_ is it?" Sarcasm dripped off every word and Iruka felt himself recoil. "Well _excuse me_ for thinking it my place to know about some absolute _bastard_ who completely mind-fucked one of the people I care most about in the world and left him with such a low opinion of himself that he doesn't believe he _deserves help_ to move past the fucker and all the bollocks he put inside his head."

The room went instantly silent and the look of horrified sorrow on the Chuunin's face instantly drained all of Kakashi's anger. Iruka stared into the Jounin's eyes before dropping his gaze to the floor, the shaking that had previously vanished returning with vengeance.

"Thank you Hatake-san." The brunette's voice was low and tinged with so many negative emotions.

Kakashi flinched, the addition of the formal title not lost on him. He knew he had over stepped his boundaries but _fucking hell_ every word he had said was truth, Iruka didn't deserve to be burdened by someone else's twisted views. He deserved to be helped, hell he deserved so much more than that. But right now he had to try and make amends, he knew Iruka had misinterpreted the meaning behind his words and once again he'd put his overly large foot in his mouth.

"Iruka..."

"Enough _Hatake-san_. You and the Hokage have made it clear that I am not capable to resolve this problem on my own. I will see the psyche-nin but only because you have ordered me too. Now if you'll excuse me Hokage-sama."

The brunette rose to his feet and hastily escaped the room which had suddenly become that much enclosed. Behind him Kakashi stood stock still, his head reeling from Iruka's harsh words and his heart aching, screaming at him to run after the other man and apologise.

But his feet wouldn't move no matter how much he willed them.

Sighing Tsunade ran a hand through her bangs "That could have gone better."

The silver haired man bit back the sarcastic remark that scorched his tongue and just nodded in reply. He quickly took his leave and flashed through the signs for a teleportation jutsu and ended up at his favourite place to think.

He knelt beside the granite stone fingers delicately tracing the unusual purple flowers placed at the base. Kakashi's mind was a whirl of conflicting thoughts, he knew had had hurt Iruka but at the same time he knew he was right in his decision to support Tsunade. Slowly his eyes roamed across the stone, first going to the familiar names: Obito, Rin, Minato, Asuma and then falling on two not so familiar but well known to him.

_Umino Kozukura._

_Umino Ezume._

He traced the names and bowed his head all other thoughts fleeing his troubled mind except one.

'_I'm sorry Kozukura-san, Ezume-san. Please let him forgive me.'_

~End Chapter One~

A/N: And the honeymoon is officially over. Please don't hurt me ^_^. So I've already started the torture and yes I'm aware I've made Tsunade a bitch in this chapter but I needed her to be in order to get Iruka and Kakashi where I need them to be. She genuinely is on Iruka's side, she really just wants him to be happy, she's just not very good at showing it.

Soooo can you tell what it is yet? If you can guess what I have in store I will be majorly impressed. Reviewers as usual will be showered with love, hugs, replies and whatever I feel up to baking LOL.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Those of you who read 'Otherside' may remember me mentioning about my boyfriend raiding my computer and finding my Yaoi doujin stash. Well... I may have gotten my revenge recently. Just before Christmas I (once again) got moved to another work-site, because they had no staff. And I'm officially staying put this time.

Anywho... Because this house is technically separate from the other ones I worked in they had to in essence 'fire' me to re-hire me at this house. So I got my P-45 (The 'U FIRED' document) and then a very _very_ evil idea struck me. So I finished my shift and headed home, document in hand and as I got to my front door I scrambled around for my keys. Hearing me at the door my boyfriend (quite unusually) came to get the door, so taking advantage of the situation I put on some fake teary eyes and made the fumbling for my keys seem like I was upset.

"What's wrong?" My boyfriend asks.

"I...I...I got my P-45" My voice trembled.

"WHAT!" He was horrified.

The look on his face was utterly priceless and I just couldn't control myself I burst into laughter. After explaining the situation and being called a number of unmentionable names he calmed down enough to actually let me in the house.

So yeah I'm evil, very _very_ evil. But it was soooooo worth it. Anywho on with the story...

To my anon reviewers: Er... see end. It's quite a long reply and I already held you guys up enough.

Darkside.

Chapter Two:

Tsunade steeped her fingers in front of her face sighing deeply, she had a lot on her mind and at the forefront of it was a certain brunette sensei. She had truly felt bad ordering Iruka to see the psyche-nin's but she knew it was for his own good. She dropped her fingers and brushed them across a red file that was laid out in front of her, amber eyes perusing the contents.

Before her were several photographs each more horrific than the last, detailing terrifying injuries all inflicted upon one single person. The Hokage winced as she leafed through the documents reading the story of Iruka's first breakdown, the damage he had caused himself and those around him. After what had happened today she had ordered Ibiki to unseal the files to at least gain some idea of what the man was capable of when in this state.

She hadn't been expecting much.

She had never been so wrong in her life.

The brunette had not only succeeded in inflicting damage to himself that _should _have been fatal, he'd taken out an entire training field in the process. And it wasn't just one of the outdoor field, it was one of the urban warfare fields packed to the brim with buildings, traps and a number of watch-towers.

And he'd decimated it all.

On his own.

Tsunade shuddered as the toll of the destruction racked up before her eyes, she'd seen entire ANBU squads not cause as much devastation as this one single sensei. It appeared Iruka had really been holding out on them, if she'd known he had this much potential she would have suggested he push for Jounin a long time ago. Her musings were interrupted as a faint chakra signature appeared at her window. With a sigh she tidied the files away and motioned for the ANBU to enter. The agent entered and bowed stiffly, porcelain mask glinting in the waning light of the day.

"Report."

The ANBU shifted his cloak as he stood at ease. "The results from the coroner suggest that Touji Mizuki died of a stress induced heart attack."

Tsunade frowned, she'd been afraid of that. "I see, nothing out of the ordinary?"

"No Hokage-sama. The medics concluded that it must have occurred because of the unnatural changes he forced his body through."

The blonde drummed her fingers on the desk "And what of the remains have they been preserved for further study?"

"Er...No they have been disposed of." The ANBU shifted uncomfortably.

"WHAT! On whose orders?" Tsunade looked livid.

"I... Um ... Yours I believe Hokage-sama."

The Hokage slammed her fist down on the desk causing it to groan and buckle under the force. The nameless ANBU stepped back calmly, his outward demeanour not showing his fear for a second.

"Why would _I_ have order the disposal of someone's remains who is a known associate of one of the most evil ninja this village has ever produced. Do you know what potential secrets could have been hidden in that body? Find out who gave the order to destroy the body."

The ANBU nodded and instantly poofed out of the office. Tsunade rubbed her eyes tiredly, something just didn't feel right about this whole situation. Although she couldn't argue the coroners findings the blonde knew that there was something off about them. All of Mizuki's checkups had shown up nothing that would suggest his body was under the kind of stress to cause a heart attack, in fact the man had appeared rather healthy considering what he'd been through.

Yes something about this situation stunk worse week old sushi, and she was determined to find out what.

Kakashi approached the door with trepidation, anxiously fumbling with the key in his pocket. He had spent most of the day at the memorial in attempt to collect his thoughts and figure out just what he was going to say to Iruka. He knew the man was pissed at him over what had happened at the hospital but Kakashi still felt he was justified in his reaction. He'd said what he'd said because he was worried and although he knew Iruka accepted that he didn't understand it. The Jounin had lost friends and family because people hadn't stepped in time and he was sure as hell going to let his lover go down the same path. Feeling a little more self assured in his argument Kakashi withdrew the key from his pocket and slid it into the lock.

The click of the lock depressing seemed to echo around the quiet apartment block and the door squeaked quietly as it swung inwards. Taking a deep breath the silver haired man stepped over the threshold into the apartment. The living room as usual was warm and cheery but there was an underlying hint of ice in the air. Iruka was sat with his feet up on the couch book in hand and back toward the front door. He appeared not to notice Kakashi's arrival but the silver haired man knew better, he had caught the slight tensing of the man's hand and the flicker of the brown eyes toward the door.

Quietly but noticeably the Jounin moved toward the kitchen and placed the teapot on the stove to boil. Kakashi wasn't really a fan of tea but he knew the brunette was and hopefully Iruka would see the gesture for the peace offering it was. The pot began to whistle and Kakashi added the tea leaves to the boiling liquid, leaving them to steep and settle. After a few minutes the tea had sufficiently stewed and the silver haired man poured the amber liquid into two cups before retreating back to the lounge.

Iruka watched the other man, dark eyes following his every move and gesture. He hadn't responded to Kakashi's entrance for a very good reason, he knew if he opened his mouth in front of the other man right now it was going to end up in another argument. The brunette hoped the Jounin would understand his need for personal space at the moment.

Apparently not.

Kakashi stood in front of him twin cups of tea grasped in each hand, one held out to Iruka. A scowl crossed the Chuunin's features and he turned his nose up at the pro-offered cup.

"No thank you." Iruka's voice was cold as ice.

"Iruka..." Kakashi tried to not let the exasperation he felt bleed through but it was hard going.

"I said _no thank you._"

The exasperation, fear and anger Kakashi had been bottling up since he first stepped inside the hospital room erupted.

"God damn it Iruka stop acting like such a child!"

"I am not acting like a child." Iruka snarled, eyes flashing.

"You are and you fucking well know it!"

"Does it really matter how I'm acting it's not as if you really care about my feelings anyway."

"Of course I care." Kakashi could feel the grip on his temper slipping.

"_Obviously_ you care about me, that's why you sold me out to the Hokage."

"I _didn't _sell you out. For fucks sake Iruka you fainted at the mention of that bastard Mizuki and it was still affecting you when you woke up!" The Jounin noticed Iruka's barely perceivable flinch at the mention of Mizuki's name "See what I mean!"

"I just found someone who _used_ to be my best friend had just _died_. Excuse me for being human."

The silver haired man growled "Used to be, _used to be_ your best friend Iruka, he tried to kill you or have you forgotten that? That's not being human that's being an idiot."

The brunette exploded.

"Like you'd understand _anything_ about being human, you shove your emotions so far down that not even you can find them. I'd rather be an idiot than a heartless, cruel bastard who only gives a shit about himself and has a more intimate relationship with a fucking stone than anyone living! And you say _I_ need help, we all have shit in our past we'd rather not go into so take a leaf out of your own book Kakashi before you judge others you god damn hypocrite!"

Iruka was on his feet, face bright red in anger and fists balled at his side and was prepared to give the Jounin another tongue lashing when the sound of china smashing against the wall pulled him from his rage induced haze. Brown eyes swivelled to the tea stained wall and then back to Kakashi. The silver haired man was stood frozen to the spot his arm stuck in the throwing position he used to launch the cup. Iruka shuddered as a wave of absolute cold washed over him and for the first time the brunette felt the caress of the copy-nin's killing intent.

He truly hoped it would be the last.

Never one to be cowed by intimidation Iruka stood his ground and forced himself to look Kakashi in the eye. The storm grey eye looked as hard as stone and there was no hint of anything in it, it was dead to the world. Slowly the Jounin moved forward his gaze never leaving Iruka's until he was pressed flush against the shorter man his masked mouth hovering just above the brunette's right ear. The Chuunin resisted the urge to shudder as the other mans breath ghosted across his ear, even that seeming to be lined with ice.

"So is that what you truly think of me Iruka, that I am the emotionless machine that stands before you now?"

The brunette was unable to voice his thoughts, the sheer intensity of Kakashi's intent rendering him speechless. Never in their six months of being together had he ever been afraid of the other man but right now he was terrified for his life, had he pushed the Jounin too far? He still couldn't form a coherent answer and Kakashi continued to speak.

"That I don't care about you, see you as nothing but a stress reliever, an asset? That I don't understand the want to keep things buried in the past, that I wish to cause you pain by reliving it?"

Still Iruka was unable to articulate a response. He gaped like a dying fish as the words slid over his lobes, all hidden pain and obvious malice. Undeterred by the lack of response the silver haired man breathed into Iruka's ear one last time.

"Look again."

Kakashi pulled back and once again met Iruka's gaze dropping the murderous intent and the brunette released a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding. The single grey eye was no longer dead and hard, instead every kind of emotion swirled in the stormy depth. Pain, regret and understanding were all there but the one that shone most clearly was love, pure unconditional love. The Chuunin felt his breath catch as warmth spread throughout his body draining him of all the fear and anger and he lifted his arms and pulled the other man into a tentative hug.

"I hate it that you are always right." He muttered.

Kakashi didn't reply but simply drew the man closer trying to show his sincerity through this intimate embrace.

"I'm sorry, I was being childish."

"I'm sorry too Iruka, I should have been a little more mindful of your feelings. I understand now that not everyone deals with these kinds of situations in the same emotionally retarded way I do. But please understand that I'm only trying to help, even if I don't fully get what is going on. I care about you too much to lose you to something like this."

Iruka felt his cheeks flare with heat and he ducked his head in attempt to hide his blush. Kakashi just chuckled lightly and a moment of comfortable silence passed between them, finally Iruka pulled away still blushing.

"Thank you." He murmured softly.

"No problem 'Ru anytime." Kakashi replied, grin stretched under his mask. "However I think it's time we went to bed, you at the very least have an early start tomorrow."

"Early... But it's Sunday?"

"Very true but Tsunade has already arranged your first appointment for tomorrow morning. She sent her falcon with the message whilst I was still out, to be honest if it hadn't found me I probably wouldn't have even come home tonight."

Torn between exasperation, disbelief and amusement Iruka just shook his head and moved toward the bedroom. Even if he didn't like the situation an order was an order and Iruka wasn't anything if not dutiful. The Chuunin just about held in the snort of laughter at that thought, remembering quite clearly the amount of 'insubordination' and 'disrespecting a superior' complaints he had on his record, it would probably make most people goggle with surprise.

Still chuckling mentally he curled up under the quilt and sighed happily as a warm arm encircled his waist, holding him tight.

Several hours brown eyes flew open as Iruka awoke from a nightmare, grinding his teeth in frustration he took a deep steadying breath and forced the horrific images from his mind. He shifted slightly flipping himself onto his back trying not dislodge the other man too much. Iruka stared down at the blissfully unaware Jounin and felt a heat swirl in his chest. He knew he'd been wrong to have doubted the other mans motives and reasoning's but it still pained him to appear to be so weak in front of Kakashi. His insecurities were so ingrained by now that it only took the slightest thing to set them off and Iruka was eternally grateful for the Jounin's seemingly endless patience. Iruka still wasn't quite sure how Kakashi had come to love him through seeing him at his lowest points but he certainly wasn't complaining, he realised how lucky he was and vowed to cherish it with every breath.

No, he wouldn't give this up for anything in the world and he knew that it was time he stood himself back up from the whole shit storm that was his past with Mizuki. He owed it to Kakashi to try, hell he owed it to himself and as much as he had fought tooth and nail against seeing a psyche-nin he knew it was the best option. Now all he needed now was the courage to actually make it to the appointment and everything would be fine.

Well as fine as it could be having your entire life dissected by a complete and utter stranger.

Iruka shuddered and tried to push the disconcerting thought from him mind, he just couldn't help but feel repulsed at the idea of dragging out some of his deepest, darkest secrets, possibly against his will. The brunette shifted slightly and snuggled back down under the quilt hoping to catch a few more hours of sleep before being faced with that particular scenario.

Beside Iruka Kakashi cracked open his eye and stared at the brunette head in front of him. He hadn't slept a wink all night and had feigned sleep when the other man had roused. The Jounin was just too worried and nervous about the upcoming appointment, he knew he had no right to be after all he wasn't the one under observation. Something he was eternally grateful for, he knew the psyche-nin's would have a _field day_ with his list of neuroses.

However that still didn't stop him being nervous.

In fact he was probably more nervous than Iruka because the brunette at least had an idea of what was going to be brought up. Kakashi had a very limited idea of Iruka's past especially that involving Mizuki, the only glimpses he'd been allowed were when he'd been inside the brunette's mind and those were some memories he rather forget about.

Sighing deeply the silver haired man moved closer to his partner and wound his arm around Iruka's waist, relishing the solid, warm body pressed flush against him. He couldn't help but feel that this was something that was going to be missing from his life very soon, maybe it was something to do with the dream he'd have the previous evening, perhaps his ingrained paranoia but Kakashi couldn't squash the feeling of loss in his chest. Closing his eyes he tried to memorise the feeling of the other man in his arms in case this was his last chance.

The dawn's early light streamed in through the open window bathing the simple bedroom in a warm glow. The rays moved across the room catching the rooms occupants in its snare and rousing them from their slumber. Kakashi was the first to wake and blearily pulled himself up from the depths of unconsciousness, Iruka followed soon after brown eyes blinking owlishly as the glare hit them.

"Morning..." He muttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Morning... Sleep well?" Kakashi replied.

The brunette just grunted in reply and began to extract himself from the warm, comfortable covers. The silver haired man was none too pleased with this turn of events and tried to pull the other man back into bed, a grin spread across his face.

"Kakashi..!" Iruka squeaked as he tried to squirm out of the Jounin's clutches, blushing furiously.

Kakashi's grin just widened at the sight of the blush and he tightened his grasp around the other man finally succeeding in pulling him back a top the bed. Growling the Chuunin kicked out at the silver haired man in an attempt to dislodge him but to no avail.

"Kakashi. Let me up I have an appointment to get to."

The Jounin's grin faded slightly at the mention of Iruka's 'appointment' but he bounced back quickly by laying himself flat on top of the other man.

"But 'Ru you don't have to be there for at least another hour."

He ground his hips downwards causing the brunette to moan slightly in response and flush even deeper. Iruka suddenly remembering what he was supposed to be doing growled and bucked wildly throwing the jounin off balance and subsequently off the bed. Kakashi looked up from his position on the floor and pouted, causing the scowl crossing Iruka's face to melt into a small smile.

"Serves you right you bloody pervert." The brunette laughed.

The Jounin's pout didn't move and he clambered to his feet. "Fine, fine you will this round."

"And as victor I demand you make me breakfast, while I take a shower... alone."

Kakashi rolled his eyes before moving toward the kitchen. "As you wish oh victorious one."

Just over an hour later found both men anxiously entering the psyche-ward of the hospital. Beside him Kakashi could feel Iruka tense noticeably and he honestly couldn't blame the man. The Jounin had walked down this corridor many times before sometimes with friends, more often than not with comrades still in the throes of a mission unable to tell friend from foe. The silver haired man shuddered knowing not all those who had come into this place had left, still locked in one of the innumerable cells deemed too unstable to be part of normal society. He knew the odds were very slim against such a thing happening to the brunette but Kakashi swore to himself that would do everything in his power to stop such a travesty happening.

He would not allow Iruka to bare such a fate.

As if sensing his boyfriends dark thoughts the brunette gripped hold of Kakashi's forearm, dragging him from his musings.

"Please don't go into your own little world. Not right now." Iruka's voice was a little shaky.

"Sorry. Just don't like this place."

"Me either... the last time I was here was..."

Brown eyes clouded with pain and anger as the brunette began to shiver slightly at the memory. The last time he'd been here had been after the jailbreak, Ibiki had noticed some of the warning signs even if he didn't know the cause and pulled him in before it spiralled out of control. Since _that _particular incident he'd been a lot more careful about showing his emotions, that was until Kakashi had decided to throw himself into the mix. The Jounin caused him to lose all rationality and it had almost been disastrous for all parties involved. But the stubborn silver haired man had helped him regain control and the crisis had been averted.

"Iruka..?" Kakashi's voice cut across his revere.

"It's nothing... Just some memories." He grinned sheepishly.

"Bad ones?"

Iruka shook his head "Not exactly... Just memories."

Kakashi frowned beneath his mask but he was prevented from prying further as one of the nurses walked through the last set of double doors leading to the doctors' offices.

"Umino Iruka?" She asked in an overly pleasant tone.

The brunette felt a shiver of revulsion work its way up his spine. No one working in this environment could possibly be that cheerful, unless of course they'd had a lobotomy or something. The dark twist in his thoughts had Iruka sighing, perhaps he really did need help just not the kind Ibiki and everyone else thought.

"I'm him."

"Ah Umino-san if you'd like to come this way, Doctor Kageki will see you now."

The nurses' perky tone was really starting to get on his nerves but he just nodded in reply. He turned to Kakashi before following and pulled him close, realising that the man needed some reassurance the Jounin held him and whispered in his ear.

"Don't worry 'Ru, it'll all be okay."

Kakashi didn't know who he was trying to convince with his words, himself or Iruka but they appeared to do the job. The brunette pulled back with weak smile on his face and gave a two fingered salute before following the nurse through the doors and out of view.

~End Chapter Two~

A/N: GAH... Sorry really not happy with this chapter T_T. I had some issues with it and it just didn't want to work. It's kind of a filler anyway so I suppose it isn't all bad. Meh... Reviewers of this monstrosity shall receive the blessings of the Yaoi gods. lol.

Anon reviewers:

Meeeeeep: OMG sweetie you are like the awesome! I got both of your reviews and they actually made me tear up with happiness. Seriously... I know I'm lame but it is the truth. *Tackle Glomp* I'm glad you enjoyed both stories and hopefully I won't disappoint. Thank you so, SO much.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Wow it's been a while hasn't it... Sorry!

Darkside

Chapter Four

Iruka took a deep breath as he followed the disgustingly perky nurse down the silent corridor, trying rather unsuccessfully to still the quaking stomach and stop himself from throwing up. When he had been with Kakashi, mere minutes prior, he had felt a lot more confident and secure about this whole situation. But now, alone, he just couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding worming its way through his heart.

Slowly the second set of double doors came into the view and the brunette released a breath he hadn't been aware of holding. It seemed as though a lifetime had passed Iruka by, although he knew it had only been a few moments. The nurse stepped in front of the doors, sickeningly sweet smile still affixed to her face.

"It's just through here Umino-san."

She turned back to the door and pushed the buzzer on the side panel, waiting patiently for a reply. After a few tense moments a voice crackled through the intercom.

"Yes?"

"Dr. Kageki, Umino-san is here for his appointment."

Iruka tried hard not to fidget but he couldn't shake his apprehension at what lay beyond those seemingly innocent doors. He had too much in his history and had spent far too much time with his silver-haired lover to know that appearances were certainly deceiving. His unease began to grow as the voice that had crackled through the intercom gave no answer and the nurse began to tap her foot in impatience. Huffing she crossed her arms across her chest, a pout pursing her lips.

"Honestly he _always _does this, I'm sure he gets a kick out of making people wait."

For some unknown reason this seemed to reassure the brunette. Maybe it was the fact that this was normal behavior for the psyche-nin or perhaps it was that the tardiness reminded him of Kakashi, either way he felt his stomach settle a little. A few more moments passed then finally a different buzzer sounded and the distinct click of a lock opening echoed down the corridor. The nurse beckoned Iruka forward and placed what the Chuunin assumed to be a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Go on in Umino-san, he's ready for you."

_Come on Umino you can do this._

Iruka nodded briefly and pushed open the wooden door, pausing briefly before stepping through.

The room beyond was nothing like he had expected. The Chuunin had expected it to match the decor of the rest of the hospital; old, somewhat dingy but functional and Iruka found himself gaping in awe as he took in his surroundings. The room was a crisp cream color that seemed to soak up the light streaming in from the gigantic bay window and reflect it out into the room. It was sparsely furnished but the large bed like chairs that dominated the room appeared to be practical but comfortable, the leather worn but well maintained. Umber eyes scanned the rest of the room finally landing on the large mahogany desk directly opposite him, the rich dark wood seemingly out of place in the modern themed room.

Sat behind the desk was a man a little older than himself. He had chin length mousey-brown hair that was streaked with premature grey and a pair of intelligent hazel eyes peered out from behind a pair of wire rimmed glasses. He was classically handsome with a straight nose, high cheekbones and thin but well shaped lips and of course being a shinobi he was fit and in good shape. Made exceedingly obviously by the tight white shirt that was stretched across his torso.

For a few moments the doctor made no sign that he had even noticed the other shinobi enter but Iruka knew better, the man _was _a professional after all and the Chuunin knew he was being tested. Quietly but not stealthily Iruka approached the desk with what he hoped was a sincere smile and not the 'deer caught in headlights' look plastered across his face.

He waited patiently for the other man to finish what he was doing, standing to attention in front of the desk. Dr. Kageki still paid him no heed and continued to shuffle through his seemingly never ending pile of paperwork. Iruka felt himself bristle internally already beginning to hate this. He despised knowing that the man in front of him had the potential to make or break his ninja career, hell he could bring his entire life crashing down around him if he so chose. He was completely at the doctor's mercy but as unfair as it was he'd promised he'd try, even if the odds we stacked against him, even if he had to deal with this smug bastard's eccentricities. But there was a time and a place for such quirks and the brunette could feel the control on his temper begin to fray. He cleared his throat politely attempting to garner the man's attention.

Kageki looked up completely unperturbed by the noise, his hazel eyes twinkling mischief and an amused quirk gracing his lips. Iruka just about pushed down the urge to glare at the irritating man, settling for a deep frown instead. This only caused the psyche-nin to start laughing a slight smirk tugging at his lips.

"Good morning Umino-san, I hope you weren't waiting long."

The Chuunin raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes not bothering to answer the man, causing the other man to laugh harder. After a few minutes Iruka found he couldn't suppress the small smile fighting its way across his face. It appeared that the man's good humor was infectious.

"My apologies Umino-san, I feel that starting things off on a somewhat... Aggravating foot often lessens the tension more than someone trying to humor their patient."

Although annoyed Iruka had to begrudgingly admit the technique had worked, he'd been so caught up in his aggravation that the knot in his stomach had disappeared.

"I understand Kageki-sama." Iruka's voice was stiff.

"Please there is no need to be so formal Umino-san, just call me Yuma-san."

Iruka felt himself flush slightly at the charming smile on the psyche-nin's face but he wasn't falling for the friendly act. He knew it was just a ploy to help him lower his guard but Iruka was no fool and he wouldn't give up his secrets that easily, no matter what he had promised. He would not fall for his manipulation techniques, he was a teacher of small children he'd seen every kind of manipulation possible.

"Hmm... It appears that the pleasant approach doesn't work either. Well now the formalities are over we can get down to business if you'd like to take a seat Umino-san."

There was an icy look in the brown eyes.

"I'd rather stand."

From behind the desk the older man shrugged nonchalantly, his demeanor changing completely as he slipped into work mode.

"As you wish, but don't blame me when you get a concussion from falling over when the jutsu hits you."

"Jutsu?"

"Hokage-sama explained your situation to me and it appears that the root of your problem is in the past and that is where we are going to start. The jutsu I am going to use will allow me to see your memories whilst allowing you to re-live them. Therefore you will be able to give me your honest feelings."

Iruka felt himself pale slightly he didn't want to re-live his memories! It had been bad enough living through most of it the first time. Growling lowly the brunette subconsciously shifted into a defensive stance his whole body tensing in preparation to either fight or take flight.

Kageki watched his reactions carefully, mentally taking notes and analyzing his client's behavior. He was somewhat confused at the overly defensive nature, from all the information he'd received it appeared that Umino appeared to the public to be a fairly laid back and calm individual. But this didn't coincide with the reports he'd received from Morino-sama and the Hokage, he'd seen the destruction the man had wrought when he broke.

Just how long had this been building up? And just how talented was the man before him at keeping it concealed for so long?

It was all an interesting conundrum and one Kageki was keen to unravel.

"Sit down Umino-san."

Iruka still looked defiant and remained rooted to the spot, still very distrusting of the other man. The psyche-nin just sighed and with a movement so fast the Chuunin barely saw it Kageki was stood in front of Iruka, pale hand pressed against his forehead.

"Don't say I didn't warn you..."

The brunette felt a brief flicker of chakra against his forehead before the whole world sank into darkness.

Iruka awoke to the sound of wood rapping on wood and blearily blinked his eyes open.

"Umino Iruka wake up this instant you insolent brat!"

There was a displacement of air and a sharp pain erupted through his knuckles. Years of ingrained shinobi training meant he didn't cry out but he heard a whimper escape his mouth and a garbled slur of mental speech that didn't belong to him but at the same time sounded _exactly _like him.

_'Ah so that's what Kageki meant, I'm in here with myself... Marvelous.'_

The Chuunin watched as his eight year old self darted up blowing on his knuckles where the ruler had struck, much to his classmates riotous amusement and felt himself wince at his stupidity.

"Gozen-Sensei what was that for!" The shrill voice of his younger counterpart rent the air.

The gruff looking man scowled and folded his arms across his chest, dark eyes clearly not amused at the outburst.

"You are meant to be a shinobi in training, show some self discipline! There are people out there dying so you have the opportunity to learn in relative safety and this is how you repay them..."

**'I know...No need to be so mean about it, stupid Sensei.'**

The petulant voice of the young Iruka echoed around in his older counterparts brain and made the Chuunin want to bang his head against the nearest hard surface. Honestly he couldn't believe he'd been such a brat. Actually that was a lie he knew he'd been a brat, it was just a strange sensation actually _seeing _what a brat you were.

The youngster pouted and glared at his teacher before plopping his head back down on the desk. Gozen-Sensei clenched his fist around the ruler in anger and strode to the front of the class and suddenly the elder Iruka remembered what day this was.

It was the day he had first met Mizuki.

It was the day he had gotten his scar.

The teacher spun around to face his class a diabolical smile etched across his scarred features, his twisted mind concocting a nasty and fitting punishment for the obnoxious class clown.

"Right class we were meant to be doing weapons training this week but due to Umino-san's obviously lack of discipline and respect it has been postponed until further notice. Instead we will be doing drills and brushing up on your chakra theory."

The entire class groaned and shouts of 'not fair sensei' rang through the room. Gozen-Sensei just smirked and shrugged at his mutinous students.

"Don't blame me class, I'm not the one who messed up."

Thirty sets of eyes immediately zoned in on the young Iruka and inside his mind his older self could feel the panic emerging. The small brunette shrank in on himself trying to make himself seem as small and innocuous as possible but it was already too late, the damage had been done. He could feel his classmate's spite and anger and in their multi-hued eyes the thirst for swift, uncompromising vengeance.

**'I am so dead.'**

The young child thought mournfully despair curling in his stomach and the older, wiser Iruka could find no words of comfort to offer himself already knowing how this day would end. The rest of the day dragged by alternating between mind-numbing class work and grueling, some would say barbaric physical drills. When the last bell of the day sounded the young brunette was physically and mentally exhausted having been a whipping post for the students and their Sensei alike.

"Bring in the packs Umino and then you can leave."

Iruka wanted to scream in frustration and pain at his teacher's cruel order knowing what it was, he'd heard his father talking about it once... Beasting was it? The older Umino winced as his younger self came to the realization, knowing that no person, never mind a child should have to go through such punishment.

Growling the child began to calculate the enormity of his task, the packs weighed about half as much as he did and there were _over thirty _of them. It was going to take him _forever _to haul in every single one. Cursing up a mental storm that actually made his older self both blush and feel a little proud the younger Iruka set about his work unaware that something horrible was about to happen.

In the shadows of the training field silent figures began to gather waiting patiently for the right moment to strike.

The pre-Genin had moved about half of the packs when he collapsed for the first time small limbs shaking from exertion.

**'I'll never do this.'** He thought hopelessly attempting and failing to stand.

There was a rustle of leaves and before Iruka knew it he was surrounded by most of his male classmates, all of them looking murderous. A lanky streak of piss that went by the name of Kamon stepped forward a snarl like smirk on his face.

"Tch... Falling asleep on the job you lazy little bastard."

Iruka tried to stand, hell even moving would have been a blessing at this point but found his body totally unresponsive.

"M'sorry... Didn't mean..."

"Not good enough! Sensei went easy on you but now it's our turn! GET HIM!" Kamon screamed with malicious joy.

The next few moments seemed to flow by like syrup, slow moving and almost solid. The small brunette found himself pinned to the dry rough ground, the faces of his classmates hovering above him. A rough foul tasting cloth was shoved in his mouth to prevent him from crying for help and a hand held over to prevent him from spitting it back out. Iruka tried to thrash against his captors but it was a futile exercise, he was far too exhausted to fight against even one of them never mind a whole gang.

Beside him a few of the other boys had gathered together a small pile of rocks and were carefully stuffing them into a bundle of small sacks. Testing the weight Kamon nodded and smiled perversely, hefting one of the sacks over his shoulder. To Iruka's other side the boys were prepping a thick blanket, for what use the brunette didn't know but he could surmise it didn't bode well for him.

The seconds moved by slowly feeling more like hours to the trapped youngster and it seemed that even those gathered were beginning to become impatient. Finally Kamon seemed to be satisfied and nodded to his fellows, tossing the sacks to the gang and motioning to the boys with the blanket.

They moved with ruthless efficiency. The rough heavy blanket was stretched tightly across Iruka's small frame trapping him in place and the boys had lined up beside him swinging the sacks from side to side.

"Remember, don't leave any visible marks."

The attack was swift and brutal, even though the rocks were padded by several layers of cloth they still hurt as they rained down on the brunette's chest and abdomen. The older Iruka stoically watched the whole 'punishment' through tear filled eyes, his ninja training allowing him to block out the pain. He could feel every blow his younger self experienced, every scream of pain reverberated through his mind and he found himself being nauseated by the ordeal.

The beating continued for several more minutes until a kunai whizzed through the air and thunked into the ground, mere millimeters from Iruka's head. Twenty pairs of eyes shot upwards and turned on the newcomer.

"Hey Mizu-kun so glad you could finally make it." Kamon taunted his voice full of cruel laughter.

"Let him go Kamon, this isn't how a _real _shinobi should act."

The other boy frowned and folded his arms across his chest, clearly not impressed by the demand.

"Why should I? He's just a smart-mouthed runt who deserves everything he gets!"

The boy referred to as 'Mizu-kun' raised a grey brow in question before firmly repeating his command.

"Let him go _now Kamon_ or do I have to make you?"

Whether the other boy realized he was outclassed or perhaps it was the intimidating presence the grey haired boy radiated Iruka didn't know but Kamon backed away a cowered look in his eyes.

"Don't think you've won Mizuki. I'll be back... This isn't over!"

Taking the hint from their leader the rest of the boys backed away and soon there was no one left in the clearing but Iruka and the grey-haired youngster.

The elder Iruka winced as he saw the smirk on the older boys face, knowing that his younger, naive self was mistaking it for compassion.

It couldn't have been further from the truth.

In the years to come Iruka would see that smirk many times and watch how it would become slowly more crazed and twisted. It meant that Mizuki was plotting something nasty and that didn't bode well for the young brunette.

The grey-haired boy sauntered forward and plucked the kunai from the ground and spun it around his finger. Casually he moved to Iruka's side and crouched down next to the young brunette smirk still affixed to his face.

"Pff, how pathetic have you got to be to be caught in such a situation."

Prone on the floor Iruka didn't even have the energy to groan in response, his body screaming with agony. Glazed brown eyes stared upwards at the kunai following the movements unconsciously but too exhausted to react. Mizuki just cocked his head to one side still spinning the weapon.

"Do you know how easy it would be to make you disappear right now...? It's pathetic, but I could help you, you know help you to be less helpless."

The elder brunette felt bile work its way up his throat at the cruel words and felt his stomach churn at the despairing thoughts working their way through his younger self.

**'He's right... I'm just pathetic. Would he really help someone like me?'**

Iruka couldn't really remember what happened next it had all happened far too quickly. He vaguely recollected seeing the glint of metal in the nearby bushes and the 'whoosh' sound of a shuriken being thrown and somehow even in his exhausted state he had managed to move his body toward Mizuki. There was a blinding pain across his face as he moved to tackle the other boy to the ground, blood flying through the air on a rotating shuriken. There was a rough grunt as the two bodies crashed to the floor, the grey-haired boys eyes narrowed in anger.

"What the hell you loser!"

His rant was cut short and his eyes widened as two poorly thrown shuriken whizzed over their heads and thunked into the ground beyond. Iruka weakly lifted his head from the other boys now blood-stained shirt, red liquid pouring from the large gash across his nose. He gave Mizuki a small watery smile, tears mingling with the blood before finally blacking out.

The elder Iruka opened his eyes was surrounded by darkness, groaning he blinked a few times trying to will away the memory of the burning pain across his face. His scar ached profusely but not as much as his heart, the reminder of the cruel beating had brought many old wounds to the surface.

"Are you going to sit there all day Umino-san or shall we continue with this session?"

The brunette glared at the nothingness his stomach twisting at just what else might be dragged up by continuing the session. He was quite resolute to just remain lying there until a pale hand came into view offering it's assistance.

"Is there really any point continuing? I think you've already figured out what is wrong with me and to carry on is to just prolong the torture."

There was a wry chuckle.

"On the contrary Umino-san I feel like I've barely scratched the surface you're quite an interesting person and one I'd like to get to know a little better."

Iruka frowned "Why does that sentence not fill me with the reassurance I assume you intended it to?"

Again Kageki chuckled; his soft laughter causing the other mans nerves to go on edge.

"Astute as any Shinobi should be, perhaps even a touch too astute. You tend to notice things around you much more than most people don't you Umino-san? It's what makes you such a great teacher; it's all the little details."

The frown on Iruka's face deepened "Can we leave this place now Kageki-san. The darkness is really starting to get on my nerves."

"As you wish Umino-san, all you have to do is take my hand."

Reluctantly the brunette reached up and grasped the hand in front of him, the darkness instantly fading into a swirling mass of lights, color and sounds. Blinking rapidly he found himself back in the Psyche-nin's office flat on his back on one of the comfortable couches. With a growl he shot up into a sitting position and instantly regretted it, his head swam and spots appeared before his eyes.

"Take it easy Umino-san; the jutsu can be a little disorientating."

Iruka didn't back down and he scowled at the psyche-nin, causing the mousey haired man to laugh slightly.

"Come on now it's over no need for hard feelings."

"You made me relive something I didn't want to. I think there is plenty of room for hard feelings, just what did you intend to gain from that?"

Kageki sighed at the stubborn attitude of the man; he was beginning to see exactly why the Hokage had sent Umino to him.

"I intended to gain some insight and assess how easy your mental defenses can be breached and manipulated. I have reason to believe that this has been done to you and I have my work cut out trying to fix the mess that this 'Mizu-kun' did to you. Only then can we work on the real problems at hand."

The brunette was shocked by the admission and by the fact that the man had obviously seen the memory he had been living through.

"You saw…"

"Yes, the aim of the jutsu was to find the root of the problem. It appeared that you meeting this Mizu-kun was the start of it. Now I have that information I am able to come up with some kind of strategy to help you. I'm telling you now it won't be easy but I will help you."

Iruka was shocked by the sincerity in his words and felt himself blush at his childish and stand-offish behavior. He was being defensive for no reason as much as he hated to admit it and supposed he should at least give the guy a chance, Tsunade wouldn't have sent him here if the man was unable to help.

"I… Thank you and I wish to apologize."

Kageki shook his hand in a 'whatever' gesture. "No apologies needed, it is understandable that you would be uncomfortable with someone prying into your past. Although I have to admit I don't think I've dealt with anyone quite so stubborn before."

Iruka laughed weakly "Strangely enough, you are not the first person to tell me that."

"Well that is something you certainly shouldn't lose, it keeps people on their toes Umino-san. Well I believe that is it for this session I feel we have made some progress but won't be able to give a full diagnosis until we have had some more sessions together. I'll arrange the next session and send you a message when it is if that is okay with you."

"I, yes that is fine. Thank you."

Iruka rose to his feet still feeling a little disorientated and made his way to the door not even bothering to look behind him as he practically fled the room. Once outside he took a deep shuddering breath and blinked back tears. That had affected him more than he'd let on and even though he understood he needed the help and on some level wanted the help, old habits were hard to break. He refused to let himself look weak in front of a stranger, especially one who could dissect him so accurately. His job… His life was on the line and he wouldn't lose that for anyone or anything.

Composing himself Iruka headed out into the waiting room to one of the few people who truly understood him.

~End Chapter Four~

A/N: I'm SOOOO sorry, I've had a really crazy few months and just kinda lost track of myself. Suffice to say I'm not in a great place right now but I shall persevere. Thank you again for all your support.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Oh wow I suck. Um.. Sorry I've been away for so long, I kinda went a bit crazy *Facepalm* Thanks to everyone who has been so patient. Hopefully I'm back for a good while now ^_^

Sorry if this chapter is a little sub-par... And if there are mistakes galore, wrote it on my phone & haven't had chance to edit it.

Thanks as always to everyone who reviewed!

Darkside:

Chapter Five:

The next few weeks passed almost like a blur for both Iruka and Kakashi, their hectic schedules keeping them constantly busy and (much to Iruka's annoyance) apart. But it couldn't be helped, both men were valued members of the Shinobi community and even in these times of peace that meant they were required to do their part.

With the addition of the sessions with Kageki Iruka was surprised that he'd had any time at all to spend with his lover. But somehow amidst the chaos they had found the time.

Sighing deeply Iruka leaned back in his chair, idly watching the dying rays of sunshine dance across his desk. It was the end of another week and he had to admit he was glad for it, not because his current bunch of miscreants were problematic. In fact compared to previous years they could be considered angels. No, the problem lay within him as much as he loathed to admit it.

He wasn't quite sure when it had started happening but he had found his usually legendary patience and emotional control with his charges beginning to wane dramatically. Although he tried to inspire discipline in his students he didn't want it to be instilled through fear, which if the looks on some of his students faces were to go by...

Iruka sighed again, he had really been out of sorts as of late.

Rather worryingly this was not the most alarming change though and this second change was a much more serious concern.

He had began to see and hear things.

More specifically he had begun to see and hear _Mizuki_.

They were only small fleeting moments made just out of edge of his perception but he would swear till he was blue in the face that they were his ex-friend. Though such a feat would be considered impossible even by Shinobi standards there was no mistaking that man's presence and that very fact was starting to worry the brunette.

Maybe he really was going crazy?

He slumped forward, forehead laying against the cool wood trying to gather his thoughts. As much as this was worrying him Iruka knew he had to keep it to himself. If anyone got even the slightest hint of this he'd be trussed up in a straight-jacket before you could say 'Chidori' and that just wouldn't do. Iruka just hoped that this was just a phase brought on by his psychological sessions with Kageki.

**'You always were so naive 'Ruka, it's what made you so fun.'**

Fingers clenched into fists as the brunette staunchly ignored the mocking voice ghosting across his senses.

"Go away you asshole." He muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair.

"Well that's just charming." A familiar voice cooed.

Iruka's head shot up and he blushed as he spied Kakashi standing in the entryway to his classroom. The Jounin was smiling warmly, mischief glinting in his visible eye.

"I.. Uh...wasn't talking to you..." Iruka garbled, standing and quickly approaching the other man.

"I should hope not.." Kakashi teased "I'd be very hurt otherwise."

The brunette gave a small grin and punched the silver-haired man in the arm gently.

"Then I guess your skin isn't as thick as you thought."

Kakashi went to retort but then stopped himself, he was tired and he had truly missed the other man dearly. Tempting as teasing Iruka was right now all he wanted was to do was curl up with his partner and relish the fact he was home.

"I missed you."

Taken a little aback by the show of honesty the Chuunin flushed and smiled softly, drawing the taller man into a hug.

"I missed you too..." he replied, voice quiet.

A moment of silence passed between them as they reacquainted themselves with one another through taste and touch, lips speaking volumes without uttering a single word. Slowly and somewhat reluctantly they withdrew from one another's embrace grinning sheepishly.

Iruka, still blushing wound his fingers around the Jounin's own not quite ready to fully relinquish the physical contact. For the first time in over a week he felt like his normal self, the raging emotions he had been experiencing calmed by the reappearance of his lover. The man was truly a balm for his soul.

Kakashi watched as the emotions flitted across the younger man's face and frowned as the brunette drifted off into his own little world. This had been happening a lot more recently, Iruka would just drift into his memories and shut out the rest of the world. At first it hadn't really concerned him, his lover had a lot of things in his head to sort through so it was understandable. However he seemed to become trapped in the dark times, the ghosts of pain and torment bleeding through his chakra and then he would snap back as though nothing had happened and no recollection of _what _exactly he'd been thinking about. It was beginning to change the man, the changes were slow and subtle but the silver-haired man had started too noticed.

Sighing Kakashi squeezed the hand in his gently, letting Iruka know he was still there.

The small shift in contact caused Iruka to snap out of his daze and he blushed in his confusion.

"Um... Sorry, you just got back and I'm already spacing out."

There was a deep regret in Iruka's voice and the Jounin frowned mentally but unwilling to cause any more discomfort he pasted a fake smile on his face and hoped the brunette wouldn't notice.

"Don't worry about it Ru' I'm not exactly a full shilling myself at the moment."

There was a choked laugh.

"A full shilling? Where on earth did you get that from?"

Smile now more genuine Kakashi tilted his head playfully and chuckled.

"Probably from one of those _classical _novels you're always trying to force upon me. They're all full of poncy, flowery language like that."

There was a splutter of indignation.

"They're not poncy! And you're one to talk with the flowery language in that abomination of literature you're so fond of."

The silver-haired man laughed loudly and the atmosphere instantly lightened, beside him Iruka chuckled too his mood lifting at the banter between them. It was an argument as old as time between them, the true reality behind it long ago discovered but still a source of amusement between them.

Still laughing Kakashi tried to hide the wince as his chest ached, he'd taken quite a beating on the mission and was pretty sure he has a few bruised if not broken ribs. Unfortunately Iruka knew better and instantly spotted the other man's discomfort, shaking his head the brunette backed away.

"How badly were you hurt?"

The Jounin scratched the back of his head nervously and grinned.

"Not too badly, just bruised a few ribs."

Iruka frowned "It's still not good, you need to get looked at."

Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly he was used to injuries like this so it wasn't a big deal but he knew that his lover would fret if he didn't get himself looked at. The brunette furrowed his brows and prepared for an argument, Kakashi was notorious for his hatred of all things hospital-like. After the incident six months earlier it wasn't any surprise but Iruka wasn't about to take any chances, even a small injury can prove to be fatal if left unchecked. He opened his mouth but was silenced as Kakashi placed a finger over his lips.

"Okay, okay I'll go… just don't start pouting at me."

The Chuunin flushed and nodded. "Alright… there's no time like the present then."

They quickly locked up the classroom and started the short walk to the hospital. Iruka watched Kakashi carefully knowing that his partner very often downplayed his injuries in order to avoid people fretting and getting close. But he'd long been able to read the man's body language and at least for this one time he was telling the truth about the extent of his injuries. Kakashi moved as graceful ever only slightly favoring his right side but the difference was so miniscule that you would miss it if you weren't looking for it. Content that the man wasn't about to drop dead on him at any moment the brunette enjoyed the walk and the relative peace of mind he had acquired for the moment.

The hospital soon swam into view and it was with a sigh Kakashi strode forwards, determined to get this nonsense over and done with. The two men passed through the double doors amiably chatting about Iruka's day and other such inane things in order to relieve the tension that both of them felt at being here. The receptionist gave them a warm smile upon recognition and swiftly promised that a nurse would be with them shortly.

They were fortunately not waiting long and a familiar face exited one of the triage rooms.

"Hatake-san?"

Kakashi raised his head and smiled warmly he should have known that Kohaku was on duty, she always seemed to be whenever he was coming home injured.

"Ohayo Kohaku-san… How are you?"

The young woman smiled a faint blush tinting her cheeks.

"I am fine, I see you went and got yourself hurt again."

The silver-haired man chuckled lightly and nodded.

"Yeah…. Couple of rogues got a lucky shot in, nothing serious though."

The young nurse just shook her head in amusement and ushered both Kakashi and Iruka into an empty room, knowing that the brunette would make the whole process run a lot smoother. The Jounin sat on sterile bed legs swinging like a child and a smirk on his face, Iruka sat on chair at the other end of the room so not to be in Kohaku's way while she tended to his wounds.

The brunette watched as Kakashi stripped off his vest and shirt, the pale flesh littered with scrapes and bruises and tried not to blush madly. Across the room the silver-haired leered at Iruka, purposefully putting on a show for his lover and trying to coax a reaction. The Chuunin valiantly tried to stay calm and narrowed his eyes into a glare before pointedly looking away.

Kohaku returned moments later to prevent Kakashi from anymore teasing, she took one look at Iruka's face and smirked knowing that the Jounin was up to his old tricks.

"Now, now Hatake-san let's not give Iruka-Sensei more reason to hurt you."

Both men flushed while the young nurse chuckled to herself unrolling a long role of bandage, ready to strap up anything if needed. Gently she coaxed the Jounin to lie down while she examined him, ignoring the silly little flirtatious comments that passed the copy-nins lips. Iruka watched the exchange nervously feeling a stirring of something in his gut, something he didn't like.

**'It's sickening you know... Watching you fawn over someone who is just using you...'**

Mizuki's voice smooth as silk sprang from where-ever it had been hiding and rustled against his synapses.

_'Shut up you asshole, that isn't true!'_

There was a derisive snort, bitter and twisted.

**'Do you really believe that? I don't think you do Iruka-kun I think you know the truth, you just don't want to face it.'**

_'Shut up, shut up, shut up!'_

Again there was the antagonistic snort of laughter.

**'You know I'm right... Besides what do you have to offer him other than a quick fumble between the sheets? You're broken, while she is whole... Unblemished.'**

Iruka tried to drown out the words, tried in vain to see them for the lies he knew they should be, but deep in his heart the lingering doubt remained.

**'Can you not see the way he looks at her? And she him?'**

The words drove a knife through his heart and caused his stomach to twist violently with what he now knew to be jealousy. Of course he'd seen the way he had looked at her, it was Kakashi, he always looked at and appreciated beautiful things. It was in the man's nature and Kohaku certainly was beautiful by anyone's standards. But that wasn't the problem in Iruka's mind, her physical beauty wasn't the issue. He could deal with it if she had been just another pretty face, vapid, self-centered and shallow but she wasn't. She was beautiful as a person and therefore someone who Kakashi would choose to involve himself with.

**'How do you know he already hasn't?'**

The unexpected question twisted the knife deeper in his heart, as his mind began to panic.

_'He wouldn't... He just wouldn't...' _

**'Can you be sure..?'**

He couldn't be sure even though he probably knew the silver-haired man better than anyone in the village. Kakashi was always an unpredictable variable in any equation and it was that unpredictability that was causing his concern.

_'He wouldn't...'_

The denial was so much weaker now and Iruka was struggling not to break down. He watched as Kohaku healed his lover, watching every movement, every touch to try and find some shred of innocence.

But he couldn't find any.

Every time Kohaku touched the Jounin it seemed more like a caress, gentle, playful, _loving_ and Kakashi wasn't exactly dissuading the overly familiar contact.Despair burned through the brunette's being almost incinerating his heart as the truth of Kakashi's betrayal stacked up in front of him and he came to a startling conclusion.

He was nothing to this man, nothing but a quick fuck.

Suddenly feeling the urge to wretch he dashed from the waiting room and into the nearby toilet. He grasped onto the toilet seat to steady himself as the meager contents of his stomach decided that they didn't want to be there anymore. In between a bout of retching the brunette heard the bathroom door open and felt a warm hand rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe him.

"Iruka?"

Kakashi's voice soft and concerned ghosted across his ears and Iruka felt another wave of bile twist inside him.

"Go away.." He murmured not trusting his voice above a whisper, lest the Jounin hear the desperation in it.

The hand on his back stilled but didn't move away, but the brunette felt the quiver of shock as though Kakashi had struck him forcefully.

"Iruka what is wrong?"

"Nothing.."

"Like hell it's nothing!"

The voice was quiet as to not to draw attention but the concern and annoyance were blatantly obvious.

"I said it's nothing.." Iruka shot back not wanting to be around the other man at the moment.

"Don't give me that bullshit! You've been acting strange since I met up with you. Talk to me."

The brunette was prevented from answering by a knock on the bathroom door and a quiet female voice resonating through the wood.

"Hatake-san, Iruka-Sensei… Are you both okay?"

'_Kohaku, I should've known'_ The Chuunin thought bitterly.

Behind him he heard Kakashi sigh softly and jealousy raged through Iruka at the concern and consideration the other man was showing the nurse.

"We're fine Kohaku-san. We'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

There was a shuffling outside the door .as if the woman was fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Fine, you have a five minutes but then I'm going to get the orderlies, I haven't finished treating you yet."

Footsteps padding away faded into the background noise of the busy hospital and Kakashi turned back to his lover intent on getting to the bottom of this strange behavior. He was worried, deeply worried about the other man and he tried to show his concern through the gentle touches he was using to sooth Iruka's nausea.

"Shouldn't you be going back to you little girlfriend."

The sentence caught the Jounin completely off guard and it felt like a slap to the face.

"_What_!"

The brunette turned to face him, eyes burning with some unknown emotion.

"How long Kakashi?"

Now Kakashi was officially confused, how long what? This situation was rapidly spiraling out of control and he was at a complete loss as to what had triggered the change in Iruka.

"How long what Iruka? I don't understand."

The dark eyes flashed dangerously and the Chuunin's face twisted into a snarl.

"Don't play dumb, I've seen the way you look at her."

_What on earth?_

The silver-haired man's eyes narrowed as the pieces of the puzzle started to come together. Did Iruka think that he was cheating on him with Kohaku? The idea in itself was preposterous. Surely after everything they had been through he thought the brunette would trust him more.

"Iruka there is nothing going on between me and Kohaku... Where has all this come from?"

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying! Why would I cheat on you! After everything we've been through together why would I throw it away the second some shows an interest in me?" Hot anger rippled through Kakashi's voice.

The silver-haired man was furious but he managed to control it knowing that losing his cool at the moment would just further drive the other man away. He had to try and figure out where this stupid idea his lover had, had come from. He took a deep breath and looked solemnly into Iruka's face, worry and sincerity flitting across his features.

"Iruka I love you why would I want anything else?"

Iruka just stared back eyes hollow and lost, he wanted so badly to believe what the silver-haired man was saying but that snide voice was countering his every rational thought. With a growl of frustrated desperation he punched the wall, the pain momentarily calming his mind. Kakashi jumped back in surprised at the show of aggression and then instantly moved to ensure the other man was okay.

"Iruka..."

The brunette shook his head, eyes closed and knuckles bleeding.

"Please... Just Don't... I-I need to... Get my head straight. Won't shut up."

The Jounin knelt back on his feet.

"What won't shut up?" Kakashi was unable to hide the concerned edge to his voice.

Realizing that he'd slipped up and revealed more than he'd intended Iruka sighed.

"Nothing... Forget it... "

The Jounin felt his resolve snap.

"How can I forget it! You're punching walls and seeing things that aren't there... I'm worried, this isn't you!"

"Or maybe this is the real me?" The brunette retorted wearily.

"I don't believe that for a second Iruka... I've seen the real you remember and this isn't it."

Iruka looked away embarrassed, finally calming down.

"This is all fucked up... I don't know what's happening to me.."

Kakashi nodded and risked placing a hand on his lovers shoulder as a sign of support.

"We'll figure it out, I promise."

The brunette truly hoped so, he didn't want to think what would happen otherwise.

~End Chapter 5~

A/N: Gah... This just went to shit at the end *Bangs head on keyboard* But it was kind of a filler chapter... Things are due to start moving pretty quickly now so please don't hurt me..

Reviews are love and shall be rewarded *Cheeky wink*


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Yes this is an update your eyes do not deceive you... I guess I found my groove again with this story *Evil Grin*

Super-special-awesome love to those who reviewed.

Darkside

Chapter Six

After the episode in the hospital Kakashi had immediately gone to Tsunade and requested or rather demanded a temporary leave of absence. He hadn't told her the reason why, instead inventing some cock and bull story about cats in sombrero's but the Jounin suspected that she knew the truth of the matter.

She was after all the Hokage.

He also didn't tell Iruka that he had requested the leave, again coming up with some convoluted and long winded spiel involving trying to buy cheese from a princess or some such nonsense that had brunette in peals of laughter by the end. It had been good to see Iruka really laugh again even if he had to omit a few truths for it to happen.

A few days of bliss had passed for the two men, both of them just enjoying the chance to reacquaint themselves with one another. But now they once again had to face the reality of life and they were heading toward Kageki's office for another session. Iruka was understandably nervous about the meeting, he had agreed previously with Kakashi to talk to the psyche-nin about his recent problems and if he was really being honest he didn't want to. Unfortunately the silver haired nin had, in his annoyingly illogical way, reminded Iruka that he actually had to share things like this with the psyche-nin in order for him to help.

"Are you okay?"

Kakashi's voice cut across Iruka's mind causing the brunette to start and blush a little.

"I'm fine… just nervous and uncomfortable." He replied honestly, tugging at the long coat that was draped around his form.

The silver haired man nodded and wrapped an arm around Iruka's shoulder trying to silently support and comfort the other man. He knew this was hard for the brunette and it made his heart swell that the stubborn man was at least trying to take his advice, even if he had dug in his heels at every turn about it. But Kakashi could deal with stubborn pig-headedness he had after all taught Naruto for a number of years and if that wasn't the epitome of stubbornness he didn't know what was.

Before long the two of them had reached the office and as usual the annoyingly chirpy nurse was there to greet them. Iruka greeted her as pleasantly as he could muster while Kakashi merely grunted in response, not really paying much attention to a thing the woman was saying. Instead the silver-haired man turned to the brunette and flashed him a reassuring eye smile, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze. Iruka smiled in response and nodded understanding what the other man was subtly reminding him to do.

With a sigh he parted from Kakashi and followed the irritating nurse down the enclosed corridor, feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable. Luckily unlike usual Kageki didn't keep him waiting, almost as if sensing his hesitation as he approached the door the buzzer sounded allowing him access to the room beyond. Taking a deep breath Iruka stepped inside hoping that his nerves weren't immediately obvious to the psyche-nin.

As usual Kageki was sat behind his desk pouring over a mountain of paperwork and he didn't even stir as the brunette took his customary spot one of the reclining couches. With a frown Iruka studied the man's uncharacteristic silence and found that he was looking more haggard than usual, the dark circles prominent behind the wire rimmed glasses. Not wanting to be rude he just sat and waited for the psyche-nin to finish what he was doing.

With a sigh and a flourish Kageki set his pen down and rubbed his tired eyes before looking up and flashing a brief worn smile at his patient.

"Ah Umino-san, thank you for your patience."

Iruka couldn't explain why but there was something decidedly off about the man's smile, it looked far more sinister, more _predatory _than usual. The way the man's teeth were bared, lips pulled tightly over the pearly whites made him shudder in revulsion. Maybe he was just looking for excuses to not trust Kageki, but he just couldn't shake the feeling of being nothing but a piece of meat to the other man. Within seconds the smile had dropped and the psyche-nin was looking at him with concern.

"Is there something wrong Umino-san?"

Iruka couldn't bring himself to look up and tried desperately to swallow the lump in his throat.

"I... Uh..."

A hand placed itself on the Chuunin's shoulder, causing him to flinch slightly and curse his slow reflexes. He tried to shrug the hand off, disliking the psyche-nin's suddenly close proximity causing the other man to chuckle.

"Now Umino-san, there is nothing to be worried about what is said between these walls stays between these walls, remember?"

The voice was silky smooth and calm, the phrase obviously having been rehearsed a thousand times on hundreds of other patients but it did little to soothe Iruka's jangled nerves. The brunette tensed further fighting his instinct to flee and grit his teeth a look of resolve crossing his features.

He was _going _to do this.

He'd _promised_.

"I... Uh... I have started hearing things and am finding my emotional control compromised."

Kageki stood silently for a moment in contemplation, face shadowed by his hair hiding any and all trace of emotion from Iruka.

"I see..."

Iruka fought down a shudder at the professional tone of voice instantly cursing himself for saying anything at all. The hand on his shoulder squeezed gently, trying to garner the brunette's attention and hesitantly Iruka looked up ready for condemnation.

"I apologize Umino-san."

The Chuunin gaped, he hadn't been expecting that.

"W-what for?" He asked in confusion.

Kageki closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I should have warned you more thoroughly about the possible after-effects of this therapy. Although very uncommon this is a possible outcome of using this technique. It appears I have aggravated the initial problem and I apologize."

Brown eyes went very wide and Iruka felt his jaw drop in disbelief. He _wasn't _going crazy? It was just a side-effect, albeit a rare one, of the therapy? Oh Kami he could have danced for joy right at that moment and as relief flooded him he flopped back against the couch, finally relaxing for the first time in weeks. A small snort of laughter escaped his lips and before long the brunette was in hysterics, tears of mirth rolling down his cheeks. Beside him Kageki sat smiling slightly, letting the man have his moment.

Finally the hysterics ended and Iruka calmed enough to put together a coherent sentence.

"I'm so relieved to hear you say that Kageki-san. I... I thought I was losing my mind."

The psyche-nin shook his head.

"No, not in this case but it does bring us to a rather interesting point. Because of this I feel that we are ready to move to the final stage of the treatment."

Again Iruka's eyes went wide.

"R-really?"

"Really, your mind has honed in on what your problem is that is what is causing the voices. It is your subconscious screaming out that this is what needs confronting and eradicating, and this is what we are going to do."

The brunette gulped slightly, the idea of truly confronting his inner demons shaking him to the core. He couldn't honestly say that he wasn't a tiny bit scared, the scars from his last little venture into psyche still fresh and raw. But to finally be free from this darkness, to be given the opportunity to put all this behind him and step out of the shadows.

For that Iruka would give anything.

He was tired of living a half life; he wanted to enjoy his existence fully with Kakashi and Naruto by his side. But to do that he had to face his demons down one last time and if he didn't do it now then he knew his courage would falter. Slowly he nodded to the psyche-nin, eyes burning with resolve.

"Lets do it."

Kageki seemed genuinely pleased by this show of resolve and clapped his hands in joy.

"Excellent Umino-san! I'm ready whenever you are."

Iruka nodded again and squashed the small flicker of fear.

"What do you need me to do Kageki-san?"

The psyche-nin looked thoughtful for a second, adjusting his glasses before answering.

"I need you to focus on the most powerful memory you have of Mizuki, the one which caused you the most harm."

The brunette winced knowing there was only one memory powerful enough, the night Mizuki betrayed them all and tried to kill both him and Naruto. Taking a deep breath Iruka told the psyche-nin he was ready.

Kageki stepped forward and pressed the palm of his hand to Iruka's forehead and world fell into darkness.

* * *

Brown eyes blinked open and stared listlessly at the ceiling. The inner Iruka instantly recognized the interior of his old apartment and sighed knowing that Kageki's jutsu had indeed worked and he was back on the night of Naruto's graduation.

He waited patiently for the knock at the door he knew was coming, listening to his younger self muse over the situation with the young blonde. It was interesting he had to admit seeing the difference in his opinions from then compared to now. He wouldn't dream of coddling the teen so much now. Naruto had grown into a capable young adult, headstrong loyal and honest to a fault. However in the here and now of his memories the blonde was still a child, an inexperienced, naive and easily manipulated child.

Finally the expected knock came at the door and the younger Iruka jumped into action shocked and horrified when Mizuki told him what Naruto had done. In the recesses of his mind the older Iruka watched the events unfurl knowing the pain and anguish that was about to befall the 'other' him. It had been soul destroying the first time it had happened and the brunette honestly didn't know how he was going to react to watching it as a spectator unable to act or intervene on anyone's behalf.

'**Damn it Naruto, what were you thinking?'**

The internal monologue was nothing new to the older Iruka, in fact he had such similar conversations with himself many times since this date but this was the first one of any real significance. Before this it had merely been annoyance at his pranks and the disrespect he showed others, but his one was born out of real honest to god fear. Fear that Naruto had finally been manipulated by the Kyubbi inside him, that he'd would be exiled or executed for this little stunt. As his makeshift guardian he was responsible for the blonde's actions and he thought he had taught him better. The bitterness and self depreciation was obvious in the other mans thoughts; he thought he'd failed everyone as usual.

The clearing loomed in the distance the memory Iruka running at full pelt toward it and hoping that his intuition was right on this occasion.

'**Kami, please tell me he's there… I have to get to him before they do and sort this mess out.'**

Again the inner Iruka was overwhelmed with his counterparts fear and it was almost suffocating, he felt every beat of the man's heart, every twinge of strained muscle as the brunette pushed onwards. He landed gracefully and slipped immediately into teacher mode hands propped on hips and cruel smirk plastered across his face while the younger Naruto just grinned triumphantly, bragging about learning the forbidden jutsu.

The scene unfolded before Iruka's eyes and as before Mizuki showed up, his vile nature truly obvious to the brunette for the first time. The older man watched as the barrage of kunai and shuriken flew toward him, felt the sting as the weapons pierced his flesh practically pinning him to the tree, heard himself scream at Naruto to run. The blonde remained steadfastly in place and Iruka watched in horror as the silver-haired man wound up his giant shuriken and let it fly through the air. The inner Iruka knew that this was the point where he jumped in front of Naruto, taking what would have been a fatal blow and forever cementing their relationship.

But the man made no movement.

Something was wrong, hideously, hideously wrong.

The older man raged from within the mental prison, screamed at his younger self to move and save the young blonde. But still the brunette did nothing, just sat frozen in place as spinning death hurtled toward Naruto.

There was a moment where time stood still, the only noise audible the distinct timbre of metal cutting into flesh.

Iruka sat frozen, his face a mask of horror as he watched the body of the young boy fly across the clearing, the metal wings of the shuriken protruding from his chest and neck.

And then time started again and Iruka was running toward the blonde, his heart burning with the pain.

**'Please...Kami no!'**

He dropped to his knees beside Naruto, cradling the youngsters head in his hands frantically searching for a pulse that wasn't there.

This was wrong.

This was all wrong.

Both Iruka's did the only thing they could in this situation... They screamed, agonized screams until their twin voices became hoarse.

From his perch high in the tree's the 'memory' Mizuki jumped down, his usual cruel smirk affixed in place at the sight of his handiwork. He stepped over the fallen brunette and slipped a cold hand under his chin tilting it upwards so that glazed, deadened brown eyes met malevolent green.

"Always trying so hard Iruka but never getting anywhere, typical you. You couldn't see what was right in front of your face and now your ignorance is going to get you killed."

Iruka felt sick to his very core and his internal passenger didn't feel much better but he mustered up the will power to glare defiantly and spit in his supposed best friends face.

"You killed him..."

The brunette's voice was so soft that the silver-haired man barely caught the response but he smirked in response, clearly pleased with his deed even as he wiped blood-spattered saliva from his face.

"So I did... Was just doing you a favor Iruka and saving you the effort of doing it."

The brown eyes hardened, boring holes into Mizuki's skull.

"You _Killed _him..."

"Repeating yourself isn't going to make it any less true Iruka."

Iruka frowned and dropped his gaze to the young child that lay dead in his lap, heart full of despair.

"This is wrong... This wasn't supposed to happen... Not like this..."

The silver-haired mans laugh was shrill, with a mocking edge.

"It has happened Iruka and there is not a damned thing you can do about it."

It was if something inside the brunette just clicked on. Whether it was for self-preservation or vengeance Iruka didn't know but he felt a raw, dark power ripple through him, just screaming for an outlet. From inside the older Iruka could feel the energy swirl around him, covering him in darkness and consuming every rational thought.

And he welcomed it, welcomed the chaos.

Shaking hands reached out grabbed hold of Mizuki's flak jacket holding the man firmly in place despite their frail appearance. Not that the silver-haired man was planning on moving he was enjoying Iruka's anguish far too much to leave just yet.

"YOU KILLED HIM!"

The brunette lifted his gaze to meet Mizuki's and as their eyes met the silver-haired man shuddered. Where warm brown eyes had once been there was now nothing but endless black, angry, unfathomable, and deadly and Mizuki began to fear for the first time. He began to struggle against the hands that held him but they were unrelenting in their grip, even when the silver-haired man drove a kunai through one in an attempt to get the brunette to release him. Iruka merely looked at him like he was a stupid child, then looked down at the blood oozing from the wound and let out a short, derisive snort.

"Well that wasn't very nice..."

Mizuki's eyes went very wide at the cold fury hidden beneath the words and his struggle intensified, he needed to get away from Iruka. No, this wasn't Iruka, this was a demon in Iruka's form blood-thirsty and cruel and he'd coaxed him out becoming the main focus of its wrath.

"I think it's about time I returned the favor Mizu-kun."

Again the silver-haired man shuddered the usual endearment filled with nothing but bile, darkened eyes glittering malevolently.

"Burn."

And the world erupted into scorching heat and color.

* * *

Kakashi was the first to sense the disturbance in the office. Of course the scream of pain was a dead giveaway but only he seemed remotely concerned by that, screams from patients were common place Kakashi knew but he was fairly convinced that that hadn't been Iruka screaming. It was when the smell of burning upholstery, wood and rather more disturbingly, flesh hit his senses followed by a blood curdling cry of agony that the silver-haired man decided to move into action.

He charged toward the double doors as the deadly silver shadow he was known to be, startling the nurse out of her dazed state. She glared at the Jounin her usual sunny demeanor immediately evaporating.

"Hatake-san you can't go through there!"

A single grey eye honed in on the infuriating woman, could she honestly not sense the alarming amount of energy radiating from the office?

"Please tell me you're not that dense, can't you _hear _it? Can't you _smell _it? Something is not right in there!"

The nurse looked abashed but held Kakashi's gaze trying her hardest not to flinch.

"Of course I can! But I'm under strict orders to not interfere with what goes on in that room."

The copy-nin's eye hardened further and he moved forward attempting to brush past the nurse. She refused to budge and plastered herself against the office door a human barrier between it and the world beyond.

"You may be under those orders but I am under no such jurisdiction. Now move! I have no qualms about going through you as well."

He held up his palm allowing electricity to dance across it to seemingly make his point and the young woman hastily considered her options. After a brief moment she moved out the way rather reluctantly obviously deciding that her life wasn't worth some idiot doctors orders. Kakashi nodded to the woman at her wise choice and quickly flashed through the hand signs for Chidori, the light almost blinding in the enclosed corridor. Without a second thought the Jounin plunged his hand forward blowing the reinforced door right off its hinges.

Before the dust even settled Kakashi had flown through the door and almost into a barrage of what appeared to be brightly colored flames.

"Iruka!"

He uncovered his Sharingan to try and see through the swirling mass of color and found that the flames were composed of chakra and a mixture of chemicals he hadn't seen before. If the silver-haired hadn't seen it for himself he wouldn't have believed it but the hot, dancing, fire like substance was actually a potent and poisonous acid.

Ignoring this rather unusual find for the time being Kakashi scanned the room in search of Iruka and the psyche-nin being careful not to touch the 'flames.' After a few moments he spotted a dual silhouette through the onslaught of color and he called out again.

"Iruka where are you!?"

The silhouette moved but didn't utter any reply but that was all Kakashi needed, the silhouette, whoever it was, was alive. The Jounin quickly ran through his vast arsenal of jutsu trying to find something that would allow him to pass through the 'flames' unscathed. It took mere seconds in reality but for Kakashi it was too long and he growled as he hastily made the hand signs for a force field jutsu he'd picked up in the land of lightening.

Although not overly convinced about the strength of the force field the Jounin plunged forward.

Within a minute he had reached the silhouette and Kakashi felt the breath catch in his throat. There, surrounded by the fiery acid was Iruka holding the psyche-nin by what was left of his shirt. The colorful fire was dancing across Kageki's skin leaving painful looking chemical burns at random intervals and the psyche-nin whimpered slightly barely conscious. Kakashi stepped forward slowly not wanting to startle the brunette and cause the other man further damage.

"Iruka..."

There was a tilt of a head acknowledging that the Jounin had been heard but no other hint of recognition. Force field still intact Kakashi stepped forward again, close enough to lay a hand on the other man's shoulder. Instantly the brown head snapped around and Kakashi's miss matched gaze met Iruka's.

Black.

There was only blackness in those eyes.

Gone were the warm loving eyes he adored, replaced by unending darkness that the Jounin had only seen once before in the depths of Iruka's psyche.

"Iruka... Come back Iruka, you need to let go..."

Slowly the words filtered through and the darkness began to recede, the strange fire along with it. The soulful brown eyes returned, instantly filled with a mixture of heartache, fear and confusion that caused Kakashi's stomach to twist unpleasantly.

"Iruka it's okay... You need to let go..."

The brunette's eyes misted over with tears as he released his grip on the injured psyche-nin, the confusion still evident.

"Kashi... What...?"

He didn't get to finish the sentence as his face suddenly drained of all color and he fell into a dead faint, slumping against Kakashi who caught him with ease. Pulling the man close against him the Jounin lowered them both to the floor trying to make Iruka as comfortable as possible. With a sigh he brushed the tears that had worked their way down the brunette's cheek away and waited for the army of psyche and med-nin that was about to arrive.

Maybe then he could get some straight answers.

But until that time he could wait, he was good at waiting.

~End Chapter Six~

A/N: That actually turned out a bit longer than I intended... Whoops. So yeah, let us know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ooops been a while hasn't it… Er sorry, my life has been a bit crazy recently and it's been a real struggle getting Boris to actually do anything other than bitch in my head. Anywho… I found my notes for this story the other day and that has made writing a _lot_ easier. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/fav'd/alerted and I apologize if I haven't gotten back to you yet (See aforementioned rant about life being crazy)

WARNINGS: YES THIS CHAPTER HAS WARNINGS! IMPLIED SMEXY TIME, VIOLENCE AND BLOOD. It'll make sense by the end.

Darkside:

Chapter Seven:

Kakashi sat by the bedside in silence, constantly vigilant to any small changes in the man lying unconscious under the covers and trying like crazy to ignore the worry worming itself through his gut.

It had been a battle to get the med-nin to release Iruka into his care, they had been pretty stubborn about keeping the brunette in for observation but Kakashi had fought them off saying that there was no need as physically Iruka was fine and it would be better if Iruka woke up in a place that was familiar to him. However even now he wasn't one hundred percent sure that it had been the best course of action but he'd been adamant that they wouldn't get hold of Iruka and he made that abundantly clear to anyone who tried.

The Jounin dropped his head into his hands; he didn't know what the hell was going on any more. What he'd seen in Kageki's office, the raw power and hatred, the darkness in Iruka's eyes, it had shaken him to the core as much as he hated to admit it. He needed to know what was going on inside his partners head, what the fuck had happened in the office and the only people who could tell him were both currently out for the count.

"...Kashi..."

Or so he had thought.

Kakashi rose his gaze to meet the brunette's befuddled brown eyes and he gave a lop-sided smile trying his best to look reassuring.

"Hey 'Ru... How are you feeling?"

Iruka looked confused for a moment before he winced as a bolt of pain shot through his temple and he let out a pained groan screwing his eyes tightly shut.

"Feels like Izumo and Kotetsu just smashed me with their combination attack... What happened? How did I end up here?"

The Jounin sighed.

"I was kinda hoping you'd tell me 'Ru..."

Again there was that look of sheer bewilderment on the Chuunin's face and he shifted nervously in the bed at the unspoken accusation in Kakashi's words. He took a deep breath and tried to still his frantically beating heart.

"Kashi... What happened? What did I do?" The words were whispered, broken.

Miss-matched eyes darted away from Iruka's and the brunette felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.

"Kashi... Please, you're scaring me."

"You attacked Kageki."

The shock on Iruka's face and the fearful look in his eyes was genuine.

"I... I what?"

"You attacked Kageki..." Kakashi knew he had to try and jog the other man's memory, try and piece together what had occurred "You used some kind of weird jutsu and nearly burned Kageki to a cinder and your eyes... Your eyes were black..."

The brunette felt his heart shudder to an abrupt halt as fear gripped him tightly.

"B-black? You mean l-like..."

The Jounin nodded solemnly.

"O-oh..."

Iruka's voice was definitely shaking now as the ramifications of what Kakashi said hit home. He felt physically sick, his stomach turning unpleasantly as he ran the thoughts over and over in his head.

"Ru... Look at me..."

The silver-haired man reached out and placed a gentle hand on Iruka's bicep; the brunette flinched violently and pulled away eyes full of despair.

"Don't touch me."

Slowly the memories were coming back and the Chuunin whimpered as the horrible images played through his mind, he could see Naruto bloodied and mangled at his feet, see Mizuki's disfigured corpse as whatever power had rose up from within him consumed the man. Bile rose from his stomach and Iruka found himself reaching for the nearest waste bin unable to keep it down. Kakashi looked on helplessly and again reached out for the other man.

"I said DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Brown eyes were blurred with tears, what had he done? Was he some kind of monster? Because as the memories became clearer he realized he'd _enjoyed _inflicting that pain and he couldn't find any kind of remorse inside him for hurting Kageki either.

Just what was happening to him?

"Iruka, talk to me... What happened? What did Kageki do to you?"

The brunette shook as he spoke.

"He used that Jutsu to push me inside my memories... It was the night Mizuki... Be-betrayed the village but it changed... He... He... Killed Naruto and I just... I just remember darkness and heat... And Mizuki burning and screaming... Oh Kami... I liked it Kashi... I actually enjoyed it... What the hell is wrong with me...?"

Kakashi frowned deeply as his heart twisted in his chest, he'd never heard the other man sound so utterly lost and that included the entire debacle that ended up with them getting together. He desperately wanted to help Iruka, wanted to reassure the other man and take away the anguish but he couldn't find the words. Instead he wrapped his arms around the brunette despite his struggles and buried his face in the mass of mahogany hair. Iruka finally stilled and accepted the embrace and the comfort from his partner.

"Ru' there is nothing wrong with you... "

"There is, I enjoyed hurting, _killing _someone... I'm a monster."

Kakashi sighed again and tightened his grip.

"After everything he put you through I'd be surprised if you didn't enjoy it, it doesn't make you evil or a monster it makes you human."

"Then why don't I feel like it?"

The silver-haired Jounin had no answer for that, at least not one that would make Iruka feel better. He knew this was all part of whatever mind-fuck the brunette had been subjected to but raising that particular point right now would probably just trigger something else and cause the whole situation to cascade. So instead he decided to use his mouth for other things.

Slowly he glided his lips up the tanned column of Iruka's throat laying gentle kisses at the pulse point. The brunette let out a strangled gasp and looked for a second as if he were going to pull away before he shuddered and melted into Kakashi's ministrations.

"K-Kashi...?"

Kakashi smiled wolfishly and continued what he was doing lavishing his full attention on his partner, enjoying the little squawks of protest spilling from Iruka's lips.

"Kashi... W-what are you doing?"

The wolfish smile softened and the Jounin looked into Iruka's eyes, face complete serious.

"I'm reminding you that you're human."

No more words were spoken, the sincerity in Kakashi's statement giving the brunette the confidence to just let go and enjoy what the silver-haired man had to give him. For hours they lost themselves in one another both seeking comfort and reassurance in the arms of the person they held most dear. They ended up tangled together, sticky, sweating and panting still holding tightly to one another exhausted and on the verge of sleep.

Iruka lay his hand across Kakashi's chest, feeling the steady beat of the Jounin's heart beneath his palm and burrowed his head into the crook of the other man's shoulder.

"So what now?" The brunette murmured into his partner's neck.

Kakashi stirred briefly to acknowledge the question blissfully sated, long fingers tracing shapes on the warm flesh of Iruka's back. He knew what the man was _really _asking him and at the moment he really didn't want to answer the Chuunin, it would just open another can of worms.

"Nothing, you and me are just going to lie here and get some sleep... I honestly don't think I could move if I tried."

Iruka chuckled but there was a strained edge to it as he noticed Kakashi's blatant ignorance of his real question but for now he would drop it, there was no sense in ruining such a rare, serene moment.

"Sounds like a plan."

The silver-haired Jounin mumbled something incoherent under his breath, feigning drowsiness and hoping that the brunette would drop off to sleep. He needed to think, needed to analyze this whole situation and try and come up with a plan of, if not action then attack. He lay for still for a while listening to Iruka snore lightly working through each scenario in his head until his mind finally gave up and succumbed to slumber.

* * *

Across the village there was another person mulling over this rather disturbing situation, Tsunade's amber eyes narrowed as they gazed over the report from the psyche unit and it made her stomach go cold with a mixture of despair and dread. Just what in the name of the five Kage's was going on in her village? It seemed as everybody had taken a bunch of crazy pills since the war had ended, she would have thought that peace time would have encouraged some kind of well… normality but it seemed that the opposite was true.

"So this is the entirety of Kageki's report on what happened?"

Rooster nodded, he'd had the unfortunate job of interviewing the man after what had happened. It hadn't been a pretty interview, the man had still been badly burned from what the hell Umino had done t him and they all looked raw and painful.

"And this is all that he said happened?"

Again the ANBU nodded not entirely sure where the older woman was trying to lead this conversation, he was well aware that Tsunade had a somewhat _personal_ interest in this particular case but her accusing tone still didn't make any sense. Although he had been there fairly early after the incident had occurred he wasn't the first person on the scene that honor had been all Hatake's. From behind her desk the Hokage sighed and sat back in her chair look decidedly weary.

"Rooster… Can I ask you a question?" The Hokage's voice was unusually solemn.

"Of course Hokage-sama."

"What was your opinion of Doctor Kageki when you spoke to him?"

Rooster sighed.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say Hokage-sama."

The amber eyes flashed in annoyance.

"It was a simple enough question soldier, what was your opinion of him? Did he seem genuine?"

Behind the mask the ANBU rolled his eyes knowing what Tsunade was now after. But try as he might he couldn't dispute her suspicions, if he was honest with himself Kageki had caused a few alarm bells to ring in the back of his mind but that could have just been his natural dislike of psyche-nins.

"In my opinion… Er… Well to be honest Hokage-sama something just seemed off about him but I can't exactly tell you why."

The blonde seemed to be quite happy with his answer and promptly opened the top drawer of her desk pulling out a large stack of manila folders and sliding them toward the ANBU. Rooster was momentarily confused before he picked up the top folder and studied the name at the top with a steady gaze.

_Ushio Takata_

"Hokage-sama what is this?"

The Hokage grimaced slightly and dove back into the drawer this time extracting a bottle of sake and a small receptacle.

"It's your new assignment. These are the names and folders of everyone Kageki has treated since he was enrolled in the Psyche-unit three years ago, notice anything unusual?"

The ANBU quickly glanced through the other files his jaw dropping behind as mask as a rather alarming picture was painted before his eyes. How? How was this even possible? And why had no one picked up on this sooner?

"I take it that you mean unusual in the sense that around seventy five percent of all the people he's treated have eventually ended up in the secure unit."

"That's exactly what I mean…"

Rooster was completely floored.

"But how has this not been noticed before? How have _this_ many people been incarcerated and he's still practicing?"

There was a sad look in Tsunade's eyes.

"Because there has been no _proof_ of him doing anything wrong except the ramblings of people who are now deemed incapable of rational thought."

The ANBU felt his fist clench by his side as he gazed over the wealth of folders, of people destroyed by a cruel twist of fate. Some names he recognized other he didn't but either way it didn't matter everyone who had been marked in the folders had lost everything. It made him feel physically sick that the village had let it's Shinobi down so badly.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to find the proof Rooster. I know that information gathering is something of a specialty of yours and I trust you enough to know the importance of this. If there is something going on in this village I need to know."

Rooster stood to attention.

"I understand Hokage-sama but if I may ask… What about Iruka-sensei and Hatake-san? Shouldn't they be informed of this situation, it does directly involve them after all."

There was a brief moment of hesitation in the blonde before she bounced back her voice full of steely authority.

"They are not to be informed, Iruka-sensei is just a Chuunin and according the information we have managed to establish Kageki only seems to target Jounin. He should be in no immediate danger."

The ANBU bristled at this, surely Tsunade knew that keeping the two men in the dark could have potentially disastrous results especially if something did happen and Hatake found out that Tsunade knew about the risks involved. No he was not going to take that chance, he'd already seen Hatake at his worst and it was something he feverently wished he would never have to see again. Steeling his nerve he stared down hard at the Hokage who was now taking a casual sip of sake.

"Hokage-sama I must respectfully disagree with you… Even if he isn't a main target he still has the right to know, you can't mess with people's lives like this it isn't fair."

There was a snort of laughter from the older woman as she downed another mouthful of alcohol.

"Fair? Tell that to the people locked up in the secure unit or the hundreds of family members who believe that their loved ones are dead. You _can not_ compromise yourself in this mission there is too much riding on this."

Rooster bit his lip hard behind the mask trying to curb the rebellious words threatening to spill from his mouth.

"I understand…" The reply was more sulky than he'd intended but it seemed to get his point across.

Tsunade sighed.

"I know you've come to be friends somewhat with both Iruka-sensei and Hatake but right now I need you to be impartial, however if it makes you feel any better I will give you permission to observe their actions, if it looks like any further markers are being displayed then you can tell them both what is going on immediately."

It was a compromise, one that he hadn't expected and the ANBU nodded in agreement.

"Good, now get out of here before I change my mind. Honestly I miss the good old days when no one questioned authority."

Rooster didn't need to be told twice and he quickly scooped up the folders that Tsunade had bequeathed to him, sealing them in to a scroll and teleported from the room landing a few miles away in a familiar tree. Balancing himself among the branches he summoned the first of the folders from the scroll and began to read the contents while keeping an eye on the small apartment and the two men who lived inside.

* * *

**Iruka…. Iruka…. Wake up Iruka….**

From the depths of his slumber the brunette tossed and turned the voice a faint echo on the edge of his consciousness. His mind was still full of memories, flashes of what had happened during his session with Kageki in the past and yet somehow more alive and real than they had been when he'd been with the psyche-nin. He could see Naruto dead on the floor, the sparkling blue eyes dulled and lifeless and again he felt the darkness probe at his mind but this time he pushed it down knowing that this wasn't real.

**Iruuuuuuka, come on you stupid idiot wake up! I have a surprise for you.**

The voice was stronger this time and Iruka felt it pull his consciousness back toward the land of the waking. He didn't want to wake up though, not yet because waking up meant facing just what he'd done and right now he still wasn't sure he could face it but the voice persisted, poking at his slumbering mind, rousing it.

**Iruka WAKE UP!**

Mocha colored eyes shot open and the brunette took a shuddering breath as though he hadn't tasted air for hours. He blinked owlishly at the ceiling as the fuzz of his mind cleared and as the fog lifted Iruka realized instantly that something was wrong.

"Hello there my little Ru-Koi…."

"Mizuki…"

Iruka's heart almost jumped out of his chest and he sat up as though he'd been hit by a bolt of lightning staring in undisguised shock at the figure perched at the end of the bed. His shock lasted for all of three seconds and his hand darted under his pillow in search of the kunai he always kept there still keeping eye contact with the specter that was staring at his with inscrutable green eyes.

"Oh Ru-Koi… are you looking for this?"

The brunette watched in horror as Mizuki spun the kunai around his finger, a cruel smirk on his face. He was at a severe disadvantage against the other man, he could already feel his limbs starting to shake and he valiantly fought against his own reactions to control himself. He had to tell someone… Kakashi, he had to tell Kakashi. The Jounin was still lying on his side his back facing Iruka perfectly still and composed, something inside Iruka twisted uncomfortably.

_Why hasn't Kakashi noticed that we're not alone? His reflexes are better than mine…_

Tentatively the brunette reached out and placed his hand on the man's bare shoulder.

Cold.

He was stone cold.

As cold as death.

Iruka pulled Kakashi onto his back and could stop the gasp of despair that worked its way up his throat as the pale column of what had been Kakashi's throat came into view, slit open and stained red.

_This can't be happening, thiscan'tbehappeneing, thiscan'tbehappeneing, thiscan'tbehappeneing,thiscan'tbehappeneing,THIS CAN'TBEHAPPENING._

"Do you like my surprise?"

Mizuki's mocking tone pierced the denial induced fog that surrounded Iruka's brain like a hot needle. The brunette let out a wounded growl and rounded on the silver-haired man, it was like being in that memory all over again the pain, grief and anguish piercing his heart. Without warning he lunged forward in an attempt to capture the bastard but Mizuki just danced out of the way letting Iruka tumble to the floor.

"I'll take that as a no then…"The silver-haired man mocked "… Have to admit I'm kind of hurt by that."

Iruka growled again this time the noise much more feral and there was a flash of blackness in his eyes that had Mizuki pausing for thought.

"Well, well looks like someone finally learnt a new trick."

The brunette dove again in an attempt to grab his former friend.

"What don't you come over here and let me show you Mizuki…"

Iruka could feel that darkness trying to push itself out from behind his eyes, wanting to destroy everything and everyone around him. He just didn't care anymore: he'd just lost nearly everything he held dear he was grieving and on the edge. Mizuki seemed to sense the change in the brunette and smiled ruthlessly.

"That's a good look for you Iruka, grief always did suit you so very much. But can't see why you're grieving over him, he was a soulless killer."

"Fucking bastard! Don't you talk about him! Don't you say a god damn fucking word about him!"

Fury like the brunette had never known flooded through his body, overwhelming his sanity and heightening his senses. His vision was nothing but darkness but he could feel everything around him, every wisp of air, and every hint of movement or lack thereof. The brunette's heart ached as the stillness that was Kakashi crashed through his nervous system and it spurred him on, he had a purpose, he was going to make Mizuki pay.

"Aww… did I touch a nerve Ru-K…"

The man was cut short as a fist flew toward his head filled with an alarming amount of chakra. Iruka grinned at the slightly fearful look on Mizuki's face, relishing the tables being turned for once.

"Several actually and now I'm going to kill you."

The silver-haired man snorted softly, dodging the wild swings flying in his direction.

"You'll have to catch me first."

Mizuki darted through the window sending glass smashing everywhere as he leapt across to the next rooftop. Iruka cursed under his breath as he ran toward the window in pursuit. He took one last look at the lifeless body of the Jounin, letting the grief and rage fuel his body before jumping out of the window after the silver-haired bastard that had essentially just destroyed his life.

_I will avenge you Kakashi._

And just like that he Iruka vanished into the night.

~End Chapter Seven~

A/N: Uhhhh… Please don't kill me… Unless of course you intend to kill me with reviews because that would be kinda awesome.


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