Full Metal Panic They All Laughed

**Another attempt at a thing between Kurz and Mel. I'm in charge of them both at the moment on the Jindai High RP, and I find it rather frustrating that I seem to do so well with them there, but they feel a bit lack luster when writing actual stories, so I'm still practicing. Also this was a way of hopefully kick-starting that picky muse of mine. She's been rather lazy lately, and I've wanted to work on more, but she apparently doesn't feel like I need to. Trying to work on the progress of things though, so I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be able to put up more soon, both here _and_ on my deviant page. Anyway, hope everyone enjoys the fic, and have a wonderful start to the New Year!**

**Mika**

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><p><strong>They All Laughed<strong>

Kurz pouted as he continued picking the blades of grass from out of the long hair at the back of his neck, a couple of the other guys had come back to the bunk, and had been laughing their asses off when he had told them what happened. Sure, it would have been hilarious if it had happened to someone else, but it had happened to him, therefore, it was tragic. He'd been literally launched through a door, and skidded across almost six feet of grass. And what for? Cause he had made the mistake of thinking Melissa Mao would fall for him as easily as the others had. Tossing a glare across the way at Julio, one of the men assigned to his barracks, Kurz flicked away another stray blade of grass, glaring playfully at the man as he leaned his elbows on his knees. "What are you lookin' so smug about over there Julio?"

"I'm just enjoying watching you suffer Weber. You should have known that no ordinary lines were gonna work on a tough chick like Mao."

"Seriously man, what in hell were you thinking anyway?"

"Obviously the wrong head was thinkin' huh guys?" With that comment, another round of laughter broke out at his expense. In all actuality, he hadn't really expected it to work. The ploy he'd used on her hadn't been very good on purpose. He had to do something to gauge just how much of a challenge she would be. You don't go into an unknown situation with guns blazing for Christ's sake! You do as much recon as possible, and if available, you gather as much Intel as you can and assess the situation properly with all gathered statistics. Only then can you form an effective strategy and proper counter methods for when things go wrong.

That's exactly what this had been. A simple test. He'd gathered a lot of information about her in that short amount of time as well. Melissa Mao was strong, independent, disciplined, and had one _hell_ of a right hook. Still, when he had first shown up in the guise of the officer who was to be her guide around the base, she had been, almost flirty in return. She'd had a blush to her cheeks when he had first shown up, and she had done her best to seem a tad more ladylike.

Oh yes, Melissa Mao liked him just as much as he liked her. Of this he was more than sure. She had liked what she saw, just as he had. He'd have the last laugh eventually, it would just take a little more time, and maybe a different angle. She would be his for sure; he'd just have to figure out what would work best on her.

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><p>They all laughed at Christopher Columbus<br>When he said the world was round  
>They all laughed when Edison recorded sound<br>They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother  
>When they said that man could fly<br>They told Marconi  
>Wireless was a phony<br>It's the same old cry

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><p>Wincing as Melissa dragged him along by his cheek, she let go only long enough to grab hold of his arm and twist it behind his back. His cheek still stung, but the pain now resonating from his arm was far greater. May the gods help him if he ever called her a bitch to her face again, for whatever reason, and regardless if he was right about whatever had incited it. Granted this time he really only insulted her in a sad attempt to regain his pride, but still, every time he did something to make her mad, her eyes would flare with a passion that he could only witness when she was ever focused solely on him.<p>

A sharp pain jutting through his shoulder brought him back from his thoughts as Melissa laughed at his discomfort. "What did you say to me? Huh? Huh?"

"GYAH! I-I said you're the lovely Sergeant Major who cover's my back and without you I'd never make it!" As soon as the words had left his mouth, he felt her let go of his arm, a satisfied sigh drifting from her lips as she smiled in victory. Following her closely as the three of them made their way into Commander Kalinin's office, he caught the barest hint of a smirk as she glanced behind her to look his way. She always loved to mess with him, and now was no exception.

Not long after finalizing their preparations for the deployment to Tokyo, Kurz retreated to the Mess hall for a quick drink, finding Yan and a few of the maintenance crew having a few beers in their off time. "Hey Weber! You got time before you gotta head off right? Grab a seat and have a beer with us. Who knows how long you'll be in Tokyo."

"Meh, I guess a brew for the road wouldn't hurt. Lucas!" Holding up his hand, he grabbed hold of the drink as it was tossed, small droplets of water and ice remnants still clinging to it splashing on the front of his fatigues as he caught the playful projectile. Sitting down heavily on one of the benches, Kurz took a few deep gulps before setting it down on the table in front of him. He didn't have to leave for another couple of hours anyway, so what would one or two beers for the road hurt? They still had to wait a little while for the transport chopper and the M9 to be loaded up anyway.

"Hey Kurz, heard Mao put you in your place again when you guys got back. What'd you do this time?"

"Yeah, she called me a loser, so I called her a bitch and told her she'd be better off givin' in." Loud laughter picking up around him, Kurz watched a stray water drop run down the side of his beer can, waiting for one of them to finish laughing enough to speak again.

"You freakin' serious man? Guy's got a death wish!"

"So it's considered a death wish if a man knows what he wants these days? I must be gettin' old..."

"You got issues if you keep going back for more punishment Weber. It ain't hard to get on her good side you know, you should try it sometime instead of pissin' her off so much."

"What can I say? If love hurts, I must be a glutton for punishment." A few more laughs sounded from the guys as he finished his beer. Bastian, one of the crew members in charge of fueling, told him to find himself a girl while he was in Tokyo and have some fun. The others seemed to agree, wishing him well as he stood and turned to leave, the few remaining laughs echoing down the Danaan halls behind him. None of them understood, but how could they? None of them saw the look in her eye whenever she looked at him when she thought he couldn't see. He'd show them all though. Someday Melissa would come clean and admit that she wanted him as much as he did her, and then he would have the last laugh

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><p>They all laughed at Rockefeller Center<br>Now they're fighting to get in  
>They all laughed at Whitney and his cotton gin<br>They all laughed at Fulton and his steamboat  
>Hershey and his chocolate bar<br>Ford and his Lizzie  
>Kept the laughers busy<br>That's how people are

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><p>Still breathing heavily from having to fight off Nguyen, Kurz couldn't have been more shocked at who had come out from the darkened hallway. From what Peggy had said, Melissa was supposed to be in the medic's office with a concussion and a ribcage fracture, so what the hell was she doing throwing knives at a time like this! Granted, he wasn't about to complain since she had given him the opening he needed to remain amongst the living a while longer, but she was supposed to be laying down! Sleepy violet eyes looked up at him from beneath her dark bangs, and though she looked as lovely as he'd ever seen her, the first things out of her mouth were remarks about how piss-poor his fighting skills were. "Really Kurz, you have no head for hand-to-hand combat do you? You jumped over him, you jumped away from him, like a street punk. Ugh, I couldn't keep watching."<p>

Her words might as well have been white noise for all he cared, she was freaking injured and walking around, and chose to lecture him on combat? Last he had heard, she was supposed to be injured! How did she end up on her own when Peggy was supposed to be watching her in the infirmary? "Hey, where have you been Melissa?"

"Huh? Uh, when I woke up...I was in the clinic and the alarm for the evacuation drill was going off. I didn't want to go to the hangar wearing nothing but this, so I hid. Then I came here. I saw you guys fighting..."

"Ah, gotcha."

"I wonder if Peggy gave me some strange medicine? I have no clue what's going on...what happened to Venom? What about Sousuke? And...ugh, I'm still feeling dizzy..." Hearing her voice drift off, Kurz turned and finally got a good look at her as she sat on the edge of the stairwell. Aside from her bandages and dog tags, she was walking around in only a sports bra and a pair of underpants. The mood could be easily set if he tried, she was already mostly nude, and her defenses would probably be lowered from whatever painkillers Peggy had given her. This was the opportunity every man dreamed of right?

But he didn't want her like that. No, he wanted her to want it too. He wanted her to come to him on her own. He wanted it to be because she would have finally admitted to wanting him as well, and for her to enjoy it as much as he would. Only the lowest of the low would take a woman without her consent, and his parent's had raised him better than that, even if their lives had been cut short far sooner than he would have liked. And besides all that, Melissa was a woman he had held in high regard ever since the first time he'd met her. _'Well, aside from the painful reactions to that first attempt...and the gun she pulled on me the next time we had seen each other after that. Okay so the first time doesn't really count right now, and regardless of all the other times I hit on her, I still respected her when she told me 'no'! The point still stands that the last thing I would ever do is force her!'_

Taking a moment to enjoy the view for however long he would have it, Kurz swore he could already hear the laughter from the guys at his predicament once more. Hanging his head, Kurz sighed to himself, a rueful smirk on his face as he sat beside her on the stairs. "Man, where's a camera when you _need_ one?" There really would be no one who would believe him when he told them that he had voluntarily kept all appendages to himself. Well, maybe Sousuke.

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><p>They laughed at me wanting you<br>Said I was reaching for the moon  
>But oh, you came through<br>Now they'll have to change their tune

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><p>The recoil from his rifle dug painfully into his shoulder, the bullet flying true and ridding the world of his former master. Sinking down to the cold ground, Kurz could hear loud echoes of battle from down in the abandoned settlement. The failure of not killing Casper with that first shot almost seemed to hurt more than the injuries he'd received from the explosion of his M9. His breathing was becoming more labored as he felt the blood seeping through his A.S. suit, but as he heard the sound of the transport chopper heading back toward the direction of the Danaan, the only thing he could feel worse than the pain from his injuries, was that he would never again have the chance to see Melissa. Yes, if there was to be one regret in his life, it would have to be that.<p>

The short time he'd spent with her, even through the times she had beaten him for his transgressions, he'd miss them all more than anything else. The fire in her eyes whenever she was mad at him for whatever reason, the sound of her voice as she whispered to him after that first time, the echo of her laugh whenever they just hung out at the bar on the base. With everything she did, Melissa had always been so full of energy and life, so much so that it was impossible to ignore. She was what some women could only ever dream of being. Strong, independent, smart, fun, and so many other words that he would need a dictionary and thesaurus to properly cover it all.

Another cool breeze swept by, long, unruly blonde locks falling across his face as he lay there in the dirt, still clutching his rifle to him. In the distance, he could still make out the sound of choppers as they grew louder. _'They'll probably find my body soon enough. It's not like it's hard to miss what's left of my M9.'_ It started becoming harder to stay awake from the blood loss, and he felt himself getting weaker as the sounds of the choppers continued growing in volume. There would be no laughter at his expense this time. No playful jabs about how much of an idiot he could be, or which head he should be thinking with at any given time. And after he had finally been able to be with Melissa too. For the first time since this crazy back-and-forth between them had started, neither of them could have the last laugh this time. Rolling onto his side and turning to stare up at the sky, a small smile came to his face as he watched the clouds go by. "Sorry Mel...looks like I won't make it back this time. You can beat me for it later though. I love you babe..."

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><p>They all said we never could be happy<br>They laughed at us and how  
>But ho, ho, ho<br>Who's got the last laugh now?

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><p>It felt good to be back. Scratch that, it felt amazing to be back with the people he had known and fought with for the last two years. Leaning back in the transport chopper, from a glance it appeared as though all the other guys had fallen asleep. In all honesty he couldn't blame them, having to fight in the snow was bad enough without having to face some of the toughest enemies fate could spit at them. It had been a shear miracle that he had been able to keep his element of surprise too, and though the first words he had heard from Melissa after so long had been less than complimentary, he was still glad he had made it in time. He didn't want to think of a world where she wasn't in it.<p>

According to the translator who had been in his room when he had first woken up a little over a month ago, he had flat lined on the table twice before the doctors had been able to remove all the shrapnel from his injuries. Hell, it was a damn miracle that he hadn't suffered any serious nerve or brain damage from all of that. Shifting in his seat, Kurz closed his eyes and tried to let himself relax enough to perhaps catch some sleep himself. Hearing the metallic sound of footsteps approaching, he cracked open an eye to see Melissa coming toward him.

A little surprised at how unsure her demeanor was, he carefully moved to sit back up in his seat, his worry growing when it seemed she was doing everything to not look at his face. "Mel?"

"Shut up."

"Huh?"

"I said to shut the hell up you jackass!"

"But-"

"If you think for one fucking second that I forgive you for making us all think you were dead then you're fucking wrong!" She still didn't look at him, but even he wasn't so dense as to not notice the tears that had begun flowing down her face. Still, he really should have seen this coming. Melissa was always the type to do her best to stay strong at all times, but he'd known her long enough to tell when she had reached her limit. Kurz jumped when she brought her fist hard against the metal wall, her teeth clenched as her bangs continued to hide her eyes from him.

"Melissa..."

"No god dammit! I fucking hate you! You're too fucking careless, and life's just one big fucking party for you isn't it!"

"Melissa."

"I said to shut the fuck up!" She tried swinging a punch at him, barely sweeping by his nose before just giving up. Her lack of overall strength at being so upset bringing her to her knees in front of him, her hands gripping his shoulders through the A.S. suit shook with her anger, tears rolling down the water resistant material and splashing silently on the cold metal floor. "You have no fucking clue what you put us through...what you put _me_ through. I hate you Kurz Weber. I hate you so fucking much."

Her shoulders were shaking, and she still refused to look up at him. Finally being able to see her again after so long had initially felt incredible, until she started telling him that he should have never come back. However, it wasn't until he was able to see her like this that it finally clicked. He had been bothered when she had never told him that she loved him after that first night, coupled with what she had told him about never being allowed to speak of it, he had almost wondered if she was ashamed somehow. But she was saying it now. Her words were telling him that he was a an asshole, that she hated him, but with how she was acting now, those were some of the worst lies she'd ever told anyone. The truth was, she did love him, and she'd been devastated when he hadn't come back. It had taken nearly two years, but she was finally telling him the truth. Well, more or less anyway.

Bringing his arms up to wrap around her, he leaned forward, resting his cheek on her head. He'd waited for so long to hear her tell him how she really felt, the relief of finally knowing for sure washed over him, bringing a small smile to his face. Waiting until she had begun to calm down some, he backed up and gently lifted her head to finally look at him. Her normally clear violet eyes were red, and her face was flushed and streaked with tears. She'd never looked more beautiful. Leaning down to softly kiss her still quivering lips, he smirked, brilliant blue eyes shining back down at her from under unruly blond bangs. "I love you too, Melissa."

Just when he thought things would finally go his way, she started laughing at him. Granted it was a welcome change from how upset she had been moments earlier, but to say he wasn't quite expecting it was an understatement. Still, if anyone had reason to laugh at him, he was glad it was her. "You're such an idiot Weber."

"Yeah well, then we can both have a good laugh at how much of an ass I am for you."

"I think I can deal with that."

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><p>They all said we'd never get together<br>Darling, let's take a bow  
>For ho, ho, ho<br>Who's got the last laugh?  
>Hee, hee, hee<br>Let's have the best laugh  
>Ha, ha, ha<br>Who's got the last laugh now?


End file.
