Naruto 1. Remembering

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Naruto only the new things I have written here.**

**Chapter 1**

**Remembering**

_Sakura POV_

I knew it before I have proof about it. When you are a woman you take care of yourself and are more aware of your own body than a man. I think this is natural for me, for all women in general. We have the responsibility and joy of being able to give life and bring another human being to the world. So I, as a girl as many others, was always in check of my own body. That's why I knew it even before the normal period of time of waiting symptoms and changes in my body. That's why I knew it even when I was in his arms, kissing him, caressing him, touching and holding his perfect and loved body against mine, exploding in the wave of desire and pure and eternal love I held in my hurt and hopeless heart.

The heart he had broken in the past with his decision and choice of life. The heart that loved him since we were mere kids. The heart that still loved him even in my anger, my pain, my sadness and loneliness. In the desperation and hopelessness.

Against everything and everyone who dared to tell me straight in the face that he was lost forever in his search of power and revenge. In my silence I kept hoping against hope. With the time I choose to stay quiet when I heard others talking about him. Badmouthing him. I felt terrible and I felt like I was betraying him. In the first times I defended him, I spoke on his behalf even knowing perfectly well that he was going to the dark and to the cruelty and evil possibly. Even when I ended up crying lonely and suffering his absence and his lack of love for me. But I understood why I decided the silence instead of my voice. I was angry at him. And I was beyond sadness and melancholy. I wasn't protecting him (in the only way I could in that moment, with my voice and my words) because I was pregnant with his child.

And even when I haven't told him I knew how he would react. What he would say and do. Left me. And our baby. I didn't hate my baby. I love it with my youth and inexperience. This was one of my dreams. Having children with that boy I have loved since I was an insecure little girl. I had one of my dreams. Maybe not like I dreamed it or expected it to be. But I was pregnant with his child. A tiny piece of him was floating inside my belly, growing and making me happier than ever. The other dream was to have his father with me, at my side. In love with me. Married. Happy. But that dream would never come true. I had accepted it finally. I think I was angry of knowing he wouldn't care about us, even if he didn't love me this little baby was his. But I knew. That's why I was angry at him even in his ignorance of the pregnancy.

I was stupid. I knew what could happen then. I was a sixteen year old girl. Perfectly capable of getting pregnant if I had sex. But when I remember that afternoon in the forest, when I met him after months of wanting to see him only for minutes, I chose to accept his kisses. I knew deep in my mind what would happen if we stayed in the moment. He didn't care or think about the consequences like almost all men. And I, who did care, decided to leave it to nature and life. It didn't matter to me. The possibility of getting pregnant was high and certain but I didn't care.

I surrender to his arms holding me, his eyes seeing me, his hands caressing and touching my skin, my body. Now when I think about it I had the strange thought of wanting to have a piece of him with me. Maybe that's why I didn't say no and remember him about birth control and babies. I knew I would have him with me only that afternoon and sunset. Only for me. Without words. I knew it. That's why I didn't care if I could possibly get pregnant. If he was gone again… if I lost him forever… at least I would have a little reminder of him. And one of my dreams could come true.

Why did I surrender to him? Why we made love that day? I knew my answer. I love him. I hadn't stop loving him even after all. That's why I gave myself to him and his demands. That's why. There's no other motive. I gave him my soul, my body and my heart that afternoon in every loud moan and high scream and harsh breath. In every loving glance I shot at him. I let him possessed me without complain or doubt, I let him to touch and kiss and see my naked body. I let him to made love to me, even if it wasn't love, many times. The first one was naturally, the special one. Unique. I was virgin. I'm sure it was his first time too. I could tell it in his behavior and nervousness masked behind his cold stare and indifferent face. In the way he held me and made me to loose control.

Knowing I will only have this moment of sex and love with him it caused to show him everything I felt for him. I was nervous at first and ashamed. But if this was my only chance of bringing a little of light and love to his dark path I would make him remember it forever. I was free then. I wasn't nervous or ashamed anymore. That's why I did it. That's why I made love to him. Because I love him I will always forever. Even now that I feel so angry and bitter. It's a consequence and I have to accept it. Even if now I don't want to see him or hear him. The truth will hurt me so much. Knowing he doesn't care about that time, about me, about our unborn baby. I decided to pretend he has died. It's better than the truth. And it's easier for me to handle it. He would never know. And I am in peace at least with that.

The only doubt I have in mind about the moment we shared naked in the middle of the forest rolling in the grass and trying to fuse with the other is why he did it. Why was he there and didn't run or ignore me? Why was he just staring longingly and tiredly at me? Why his expression softened and a little smile pop up in his face? He didn't love me. He doesn't love me. The one I have decided to pretend is dead and buried six feet under. I think I saw loneliness in those beautiful eyes of his. Oh God! How I loved those black eyes! I believe he was down in that moment. Feeling lonely. The loneliness can be a powerful weapon to make you do things you usually don't think doing. And that sharp loneliness in his eyes broke my heart into million of pieces and I just wanted to let him know he wasn't lonely in the entire world.

I wanted to convince him to come with me and leave everything behind him. I try to do it with my love through making love with him and I try to do it with my broken voice and tears when everything had ended and he was saying "goodbye" without being affected by my crying and suffering and plea. But deeply I knew I wouldn't succeed. He was still so griped in his hate and vengeance and despair. And I hadn't the power to make all that disappear. I would never have it. And he was gone again. And the only proof of what happened that day between the two of us is this little being growing inside me. I had frozen his father in my memory and my heart and soul, erasing his kisses and hands from my body, remembering the way he surrendered himself when we were making love freely and carelessly and I could maybe thought he felt something, maybe little, for me in every profound moan he gave, and every silent scream he let escape, and in every desperate breath he took.

But I'm lying to myself. He maybe cared a little about me for being one of his first team members and the pink haired girl from his classroom. His companion and the chick who declared her love for him when he was leaving Konoha. But that's all. He doesn't feel anything special for me. I correct myself: He didn't felt anything special for me. The one I have frozen in time. Because the one he is now I don't familiarize with the image of the cold and lonely and smart kid I knew. That's the father of this baby and the one I made love to. Not the present he. And even knowing very well they're the same person after all and that I love the both of them truly and deeply, it's easier this way. The father of my baby is dead. The other one is just a ghost mirroring him darkly and painfully. An enemy I could not forgive for what he has done till now and with I could not be living peacefully.

He's now like ice. He was before cold and serious but he had kindness in his deep eyes and he was lonely. Now he's just an enemy full of hate, power, vengeance and blindness. I could no let myself fall for him again using the disguise of the former boy he was.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

It was three months ago when I had sex with him. That afternoon when I was walking home with Kakashi-Sensei and Naruto I knew perfectly that I was going to get pregnant. Almost 100. I didn't use any kind of birth control and I was in my fertile days. I felt trepidation and fear of knowing all this notice could cause in the near future. In my future. I was only sixteen. I wasn't married. And the man who I slept with was an enemy now. But I took a deep breath and smile imaging our baby. If I didn't get pregnant well I would accept it too. So I left it everything to time and I tried to relax and treasured the moment I had experienced with the boy I loved so much.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

When the first month passed I knew it certainly. The symptoms appeared and being a woman and a medical ninja I tested myself to have the scientific proof of it. I was happy and I cried hours smiling sadly. But I didn't know then how I would handle this situation with my parents, with my friends, with Kakashi and Tsunade-Sensei and with everyone in Konoha. I passed nights lying in my bed trying to look for answers and solutions.

Two months more passed and I was very pregnant to regret it. I love my baby. I was going to have the baby even without him. I would be the father and the mother of this little boy or little girl. And this immense love gave me power and will and security and I knew that I could handle everything that could happen next. When I discovered that… I was ready to tell it to the world. And so I did it.


	2. Telling

**Chapter 2**

**Telling**

_Sakura POV_

Well my parents reacted better than I had pictured it. I told them one fine day when the two were in home after work. That day was exactly when I turned three months pregnant. Three months ago I was in his embrace lying to myself expecting a change in him.

I sat in front of father and mother in the kitchen's table at afternoon looking calm and serious. They were concerned and a little freaked out for my strange behavior. Thanks God I was a medical ninja and I took care of myself and hide my growing belly in these three months to not let them know before I was ready. I was amazed with my own security and decision even with a little inner fear and uncertainty of the future lying ahead of me. Perhaps I had matured and grew and I hadn't realized it. And I was content and proud of myself. I told them very quietly and slowly to let them know I was not joking and to let them comprehend the notice. "Mom, Dad, I need to tell you something very important. I need your support please, try to forgive me, to understand me… I know I didn't do the things correctly but I can't take it back and more importantly, I don't want to. I… ashamed to tell you this… I know you have expectations for me and my life… but I need you to know that I'm sorry for disappoint you and that I love you so much that I… I just… I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby. I'm three months long".

There was silence after the words left my mouth. I was staring directly at them with tears in my eyes and falling in an expression of fear of being shunned or forsaken. I sobbed and started crying expecting them to talk. For a long moment they looked at me wide eyed and confused and I thought I had lost their unconditional love and support. Even with my independency and security I still needed my family to handle the pain I feel in my heart remembering the father of my unborn baby. My father was the one who recovered first to my surprise and was serious and concerned staring at me. I felt he was somehow angry. Mother was silent looking at the table with paralyzed face in shock. She didn't seem angry. She seemed disappointed.

"Who's the father?"

That was it. I knew this was going to be the first question I would be asked by everyone. And I wouldn't lie about it. Everyone would know. I was pretty obvious in my infatuation with him. My father's voice was somehow strained.

"You know who Dad. Please don't make me elaborate."

I didn't say anymore still crying calmly. Father's angriness grew and it scared me.

"HIM! Did he take advantage of you Sakura?!"

"Did he… did he… ra… rape?..."

Mother was crying scared looking deeply concerned for me. Father had a strange look in his face, like if he was feeling guilty.

"NO! NO! He didn't take me by force… he didn't… I just… I made love with the person I love since I was a child… I just… made love…"

"Sakura…"

Mother just said my name looking tenderly at me. Father slammed his fists against the table. He looked miserable.

"Sakura… daughter… I feel… guilty…"

"No Dad, don't say that…"

"I should have take care more of you! If only I knew how much you felt for…"

His father had tears in his eyes now. Her mother was crying still calm and sad.

"It wasn't your fault father… please, don't say that…"

"It just…"

The pink haired girl took his father's hands in hers crying. Her mother looked at her sadly.

"We feel guilty. We knew that you loved him since a long time ago. We took it for a childish feeling that you would lose after you grow up. At first we accepted the whole idea of you marrying him… but with all that happened then… we were praying and expecting to our wish to come true… that you had left that infatuation in the past like Ino did… we knew that if you had the opportunity you would surrender to him and you would end up suffering and in a lot of pain… lonely…we wanted other thing for you, a good boy who you would marry and…"

"Your mother is right… we should have said something to you about it… to prevent you to fall… to make you realize he wasn't good for you! but… we trusted… and take it for granted…"

Sakura listened to both surprised and hurting. Her mother didn't want to say they wanted her to marry a good boy and have children. After all she was going to give them a grandson or granddaughter.

"When you told us you were pregnant… I even was praying to hear that the father was Naruto or Lee… or any other of your friends… It's silly isn't it? We have accepted the idea of your pregnancy in the same moment you said it and were worrying more about the father."

Her parents laughed a little relaxed and the noise made the atmosphere lighten up. Sakura couldn't help to smile at the strangeness of it. Hoping she looked sadly at them.

"You're not angry at me? For being pregnant so young and without a husband?"

"We're not exactly angry honey. Your mother and I started to imagine what could be when you said at morning that you wanted to talk with us. And when you have a daughter, pregnancy is a very high possibility in the list. We're a little angry because you're young and this will change your life. You would not live things that you should have live. We thought in the line of not being married and yes, it's a little hard to know that people will comment about it. But you're our daughter and we love you. You asked our support and are acting mature and aware of your situation. You are an amazing medical ninja. You made us proud. You make us proud."

"We will be a little angry and confused and sad about this Sakura. You must understand us. This isn't easy for us. When you have your baby you will understand. You'll see. But your father is right. We love you and we will support you and help you. We don't want to let this family be broken with all the things that are happening in the world and the battles and the death… we need to be united. Your baby and you will always have a home with us."

Sakura was crying freely now totally moved by her parents' words. She didn't know she was so afraid of losing them and disappointed them without repair. She couldn't say thank you and just stayed crying relieved and happy while her mother embraced her warmly and her father took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly. They were worried for her.

And the pink haired girl cried and cried noticing the pain besides the happiness she felt. She was happy because her parents were there for her still but there were something else in her heart aching. Something she had pushed to the deep of her soul with all her will. So when her father asked her what was wrong she answered truly and sadly between tears.

"I wish he was here with me…"

And she continued crying in her mother's arms and with her father's worried and suddenly angry (but not directed to her) stare.

* * *

Telling to her friends and Kakashi-Sensei and the Hokage wasn't as hard as telling her parents. After talking to her mother and father she felt more secure and prepared and went then to tell it to Kakashi-Sensei and Tsunade-Sensei. She dated the two in the office of the fifth Hokage and talk about her pregnancy calmly and seriously, feeling a little ashamed of it. She knew she had done wrong having sex with someone who wasn't even his boyfriend and never loved her. The two were understanding and listened at her quietly. Sakura could felt the sadness behind their supporting faces.

They knew she was sad very sad even hiding it. But they were kind and wise and comforted her when she started crying like when she told it to her parents, only that now she was calmer. They expressed their opinion similarly and tell her they will support her and that she could count on them if she needed it. Sakura was happy and relieved to hear all that. They didn't ask about the father of the baby but they knew it already. Tsunade promised her to keep training and teaching her until she could do it being pregnant. She would not be sent in missions until the baby was born and older. Kakashi was silent and sad until he spoke his heart about the thing that was bothering him.

"I feel guilty about it. It was when Naruto and you accompanied me in that mission right? I'm sorry."

"You don't need to feel guilty or sorry Kakashi-Sensei. Please. You are acting like my father and mother."

She said smiling softly and sadly. The man looked kindly at her.

"I'm happy about this. I want and I love my baby. The only ones guilty here are me and he. Just us. But at least I'm going to have his baby. If I couldn't have him…"

She stopped feeling the tears forming and coming in her eyes and Tsunade held her staring proudly at the young ninja. Kakashi-Sensei only put a hand in her shoulder in signal of support and caring with a soft look in his dark and visible eye.

"He doesn't know how lucky he is for being loved by a girl like you."

"I wish he was here with me…"

It was all she could mutter in response trying not to burst in tears and melancholy. Tsunade just told her that everything was going to be fine and smiled happy at her congratulating the pink haired girl for her unborn baby.

* * *

When Sakura, later that day, dated her ninja friends to tell them about her pregnancy she was expecting that reaction in advance. The reaction of being silent by incommensurable surprise and shock paralyzing their minds and bodies. They were in their old school and even Iruka-Sensei was there with the mouth open wide. She was straight to the point looking from one to another. "I'm pregnant. I have three months". That was the line that left all of them in that state. Of course every one of them was correctly guessing who the father of the child was.

The one who looked more amazed and wide eyed was Naruto. Her friend. Her closest friend. She felt awkwardly ashamed and sad of telling him this notice, knowing he felt something for her since they were little, like she felt it for the father of her baby and team member and companion of both of them. She almost felt like betraying one brother with the other. Even she could pick the furtive glances Shikamaru, Hinata, Tenten and Shino shot at him. Ino was looking hurt at her and Sakura understood it. Chouji and Kiba were shocked more than the others. Neji just was staring at her concerned in his serious mask and Lee seemed worried for her. But she focused in his team companion.

"I'm sorry for disappointed all of you… if you don't… want to… still be… my…"

"How the hell you can say that Haruno? We will be your friends always!"

" Kiba is right! You can count on us forever!"

"Thank you Kiba… Lee-San…"

But she was staring at Naruto who was strangely quiet and still and thoughtful.

"Naruto… I didn't…"

"Have you told him?"

Sakura and the others looked at him surprised. Their sensei stared at the blond boy worried. The pregnant girl denied it with a gesture and spoke truthfully.

"No. I don't know… how or where he is. And I don't want him to know it. I know how he would react. There's not point. I cannot bring him back. So there's no point in telling him."

"He needs to know Sakura-Chan!"

"Why Naruto? Why do I have to tell him? He doesn't care. And I fine with it. I have accepted it."

"That's bullshit and you know it!"

"Naruto!"

Iruka-Sensei decided to interfere in the chat seeing how Sakura seemed affected by Naruto's words. She was glaring sadly and confusedly at him in the verge of tears. Naruto was still serious and he looked angry and hurt.

"Don't interfere Iruka-Sensei! You said that he doesn't care but he needs to know anyway. He's the father of the baby and he has the right to know it. Even if after hearing it he doesn't care still… He did care to be with you, right? And not with a simple chat or greeting…"

The blond boy seemed ashamed of mentioning the part of the sex between his two closest friends but continued even with a shade of red in his cheeks

"I never thought… that he would get down his defenses so much to… to… be with you in that way… so… Why do you think that he doesn't care?"

"Naruto is right."

Shikamaru said calmly. Sakura listened a little confused.

"He isn't the kind of man to decide just one day to have sex with someone just because he's horny."

"Shikamaru!"

Hinata hardly could talk hearing the words. She was as red as Naruto who smiled warmly at her feeling the same awkwardness. Chouji, Kiba and Lee seemed scandalized but not as the blond and the shy girl.

"How troublesome. People, we are older now. We can talk about sex. And not about the bees and the flowers and all that crap."

"But not about our SEX life!

Ino said finally still looking somehow angry.

"Kids please you're babbling and not getting to the point signaled by Naruto and Shikamaru."

He got closer to Sakura who was shocked and thoughtful.

"Sakura, Naruto is right. He needs to know he's going to be a father very soon. But I think that he doesn't need to know it now. He's dangerous and we don't know what he could do if he knows that. We need to protect you and your baby. We need to study the situation. But one day you would have to tell him."

Sakura nodded still wordless and sad. She knew it. But…

"I'm sorry Sakura-Chan. I… didn't think in that. But I'm angry at him. For not being here with you, when you need him, when his baby needs him. Parents should be always there no matter what. It angers me to know that there are parents and family who doesn't value what they have… and maybe I hope… that this can… change… him and bring him home…"

Naruto stopped talking looking miserable and sad and Sakura got up and went to hold him thanking him for his words and pure intention. She knew why he had said what he said. The blond just embraced her kindly while she dried her tears with the back of her hands. After all she was hoping the same as he even in her denial and bitterness and hopelessness. All the boys congratulate her for her pregnancy and then leave her with the three other girls of the group.

Iruka-Sensei left too very happy for her and with the possibility of teaching a new member of Konoha soon. Tenten and Hinata were so happy asking her about babies' stuff. She smiled and answered happily the best she could. But then they were silent by Ino who slapped Sakura straight in the face with crystal eyes and serious and hurting look. Tenten and Hinata stared wide eyed and with the mouth open confused. Sakura was confused too and just stayed with her cheek red and seeing her old friend with sadness and guiltiness.

"There you have it… Sakura…"

" Ino you shouldn't have done that!"

Ino didn't say or look at the other two girls and just stared softer at the pink haired girl.

"I know… I always know. But you know I always knew that my infatuation is little against the love you felt for him… I just needed to accept it and you need it to get a grip… I'm sorry for slapping you…I just…"

Sakura smiled kindly at her understanding at last her feelings. Ino smiled back in her former self. Tenten and Hinata just looked at each other confused.

"Now all is settled between you and me. Congratulations Sakura "future mom"."

"Thank you Ino."

Tenten and Hinata smiled relieved and happily. Ino put her hands on her hips looking mischievously at a confused Sakura.

"Now you have to tell us everything! ALL OF IT!"

"WHAT??"

Tenten and Hinata were again shocked by her blond and blue eyed pretty friend who was smiling evilly.

"Yeah! All about that moment!"

"Ino! I can't…"

" OH no! You have to illustrate your poor boyfriendless and virgin friends! Come on!"

"Wait a minute Ino! "Boyfriendless and Virgin friends?" Maybe virgin but…!"

"Oh come on Tenten! You couldn't decide between Neji, Lee, Kiba or even Kankuro!"

"Eh… Ino…"

"What is it Hinata?"

"Does it count as boyfriendless if you are dating someone but they're still knowing each other?"

While Ino was shocked by the shy and red Hinata and Tenten was left thoughtful, Sakura just smiled enjoying the moment and remembering Naruto's words. And there was hope.


	3. Meeting

**Chapter 3**

**Meeting**

Why was she so stupid? Did she really think he cared? Why did she have hope still? "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" and she cry and cry hurting and suffering feeling angry and bitter and sad and useless. She cried and cried hearing her mother at her closed door asking her if she was fine. The woman was worried. But Sakura couldn't answer. It was so much the pain and the disillusion that it was difficult to breathe and talk. She stayed in her bed with a river of tears coming from her green eyes and for the first time she felt something more than love for him.

* * *

It had happened days after almost all Konoha knew of her pregnancy. The good thing it was that having all the support she had, random people didn't dare to ask her anything or treat her bad. If they criticized her behind her back she didn't care. Her belly was still small with her clothes to grab attention. She was feeling very well and continued with her life like nothing had happened. She didn't think in him as much as before. She had her parents and friends and sensei and was busy and hopeful. And that was when everything went down again. When her world was tumbling down again because of him. That night she found a letter in her bedroom. She recognized the writing and read it nervous and hoping and happy.

It was from him. He dated her to go alone tomorrow at sunset near the forest by the river. Wanting to see him and loving him without limit, she prepared herself and was out of the house the next afternoon with the excuse of going to the library to search something about a jutsu.

Her parents believed her word. Nobody watched her going to the forest. Leaving Konoha. After some hours walking she saw him there like a sort of enchantment or dream. His black eyes and black hair. His sillouete still and quiet. His beautiful face. His cold stare. Sakura couldn't help it. This one was the same boy she used to love disguised, the same she had try to bury six feet under and froze in time. It was the same person. But the look in his eyes, it was of the lonely and sad little boy and she forgot all the one who was using that disguise had done since he left Konoha. All he had done against Naruto and her. And she couldn't help it. She went straight to him and embraced him with all her might crying happily with her arms around his neck while he stayed still and cold as a statue of ice.

What did she say? She couldn't remember now. Something about being happy to see him again, being happy for him returning to meet her…

He just heard her babbling staring coldly at her. But somehow his face relaxed. And he kissed her again like the last time, desperately and freely, holding her against his body and she let him answering with the same passion and love. She felt like going dizzy with all the overwhelming feelings and sensations she had in all her being. They kissed and kissed deeply and like if they were a couple that knew perfectly well the other. Soon his hands left her naked in the sunset and she dismissed the shame she felt. He had already seen her like that. Taking his own clothes he followed kissing and caressing her like if he was his owner and making her lose control and her head got dizzy and her heart rose its beat.

When he grabbed her by her waist he stopped like noticing something. Sakura just looked smiling lovingly at him and told him the truth. She told him that she was pregnant from the last time and had three months and a half. Naked it was notorious the change in her body, in her breasts and belly. His face didn't betray his feelings or thoughts. He didn't change it at all. She saw some softness in his eyes even in all that coldness and indifference. He just caressed her belly softly and thoughtful. But he didn't say anything like the last time. Maybe this time he would not say "goodbye". He kissed her again and took her in his arms laying her and himself on top with a delicacy she hadn't seen in him the last time they had made love.

And she surrendered herself again to him and his desire and demands; she gave herself again to that boy she loved so much and they made love in the grass behind the dark sky with the moon and the stars. She could notice how different he was acting with her now, how he was gentler and delicate when he was taking her and the pace of the act was slower and sweeter. She never thought he could be like that. He possessed her more than a couple of times that night in his contemplative and watchful rhythm and she felt happy and secure in his arms, knowing he had listened her and was aware of her state. He knew he was going to be a father.

Sometimes she caught him looking at her grown belly and touching it with curiosity and thoughtfulness. So that night she loved him even more than before and held him as she never wanted to let him go. She moaned and screamed and freely made him felt what she was feeling in her own pace remembering things he seemed to like the last time they were together making love. Between one time and another they just lay looking at the nocturnal sky in silence, he holding her and her with her head upon his chest and his heart pounding hard.

This was bliss, she thought. And she wished it to last forever. She wanted to marry this boy and awake every morning with him at his side. She felt hope. And she visualized a bright future.

She should have known better.

* * *

She didn't quite understand how it happened. The next morning when she awoke he was clothed and with his hair dripping water. Prepared to go. Sakura just stared confused at him. She didn't understand it. He just saw her coldly and turned his back on her. And she understood it then. He was leaving again. She remembered screaming at him, demanding for an explanation. She was panicked and confused, sad and crying feeling the pain and hurt growing inside of her like a tide.

Didn't he care? What had happened then? Why he had returned to her and had made love to her like that? Did this mean nothing to him? Why? Why? She started to cry desolate and without hope, pleading. She always ended up pleading. What kind of girl she was?

"I don't have interest in that baby. I don't need it. I came again to you because I was nearby for a mission and remembered how fun the last time you and I had sex was. I'm a guy, remember? I have needs too. And you always say you "love me". I thought you were happy with this arrange. Sakura I don't have any sort of romantic feelings for you. I have more important things to take care of. And if I was different this time when we had sex was because I was aware of your state and I didn't want to be guilty for hurting you or your baby. And knowing of your pregnancy I will not come back again to you, to this again. Return to Konoha. Goodbye."

"You don't care…? You don't care…"

"I don't. I don't care about anything else besides my own purpose. Go and have your baby. But I don't care. I never cared. I just use you as a release. Why would I be interested in you? Someone like me. You're nothing to me. Anyone in Konoha is nothing to me now. That baby is nothing to me. It's not mine. Find its true father. After all it seems you are open to anyone like to me. I guess it. That bastard is not mine. Why don't you tell Lee or Naruto to take care of you and it?"

He turned his back again and started walking slowly and confidently into the forest. Sakura was left speechless and crying loudly and desperate and lonely. She screamed frustrated, angry, hurt. She felt like dying. He was never as cruel to her as today saying all that without remorse or caring. She would have preferred not to let him talk, not to ask him anything. His words were meaner and crushed her heart and soul better and more effectively than any gesture or silence of him.

She was so affected and hurt that she didn't knew exactly how she got up and took a bath at the river and then put on her clothes and walked to the town shocked and with fixed stare and frozen tears. She still sobbed and screamed at her for her stupidity and useless hope. She should have known better. She didn't remember the way she took or how many hours she walked until she reached the gates of Konoha. Her crying stopped for a moment and she could only remember him saying all that without emotion. Without feeling towards the small being inside of her that was his too.

The pain and the sadness were so deep, the betrayal so unexpected after all, the truth so sharp and honest that broke her deeply than any other thing that he had done to her or to others in the past. Walking in the streets of Konoha, without voice and tears, shocked and distant, frozen in that moment, with slow and erratic pace she felt angrier than ever against the boy she loved so much.

She could handle the words directed to her, the cruel, mean and cold words towards her. But against her unborn baby… that was what she cannot handle. That was when her love transformed a bit to hate and grudge, to a love she hated now having inside her heart. She clutched her fists and tried to not start crying and screaming again. She noticed the people around her talking about her state but she ignored them until someone got closer to her and grabbed her arm softly.

"Sakura! Are you alright?!"

It was Ino. She was looking at her pink haired friend who seemed a ghost. Sakura just denied it with a gesture and the blond girl nodded looking worriedly and sadly at her.

"I'll take you home… everything will be fine… you'll see… you'll see…"


	4. Rocking

**Chapter 4**

**Rocking**

_Sakura POV_

I never thought that it was possible to hate and love at the same time and with the same intensity. The grudge I feel tearing my heart apart is so strong and undeniable that I can barely breathe peacefully at night. After what had happened in the forest with him that night it took me several days and space to settle my mind and soul. I was so grateful to Ino for being there when I had needed her. I was surprised and sad of thinking how much I had missed her since our friendship ended because we fancied the same boy. The boy that now is my cross and touch of heaven and hell in one.

Eventually I let my mother and father approached me when I was stronger and bitter. I wasn't angry at them or anyone else besides him. Not even with Naruto, the one who shared a useless hope with me before. A hope that was shattered by the cold voice of the man that I have become to hate like I never thought I would. Naruto felt very guilty about it and I had to calm him feeling terrible for his suffering. I didn't tell anyone what had happened exactly that day. I didn't tell anyone that I had sex with him again; we didn't make love like I had thought. He was very certain about it and I realized that was the truth. I didn't tell them all he said about me and the baby.

Every time I heard that words running through my head my anger and frustration boiled inside of me ripping my already broken heart. I was angry at myself for being stupid and feeling this way. I knew what I was going into. I knew it perfectly. I can't lie to myself. Even with the little light Naruto and Shikamaru had brought to my soul that day with their words. I knew how all this was going to end even if I didn't want to see it in time. I was guilty for trying to believe and blind myself against all the proofs I had. That's what I was angry at myself.

I heard my heart and not my head and I was paying the consequences with hurting and suffering. I felt frustrated because I never had his love even after trying and trying hard. I thought after everything that happened six months ago I was near enough of his heart to melt his coldness and get a little piece of it. I thought I could have made him love me. And now I was frustrated with something I never had in the first place. I have done everything I could to show him that there wasn't anyone in this world who could love him more like me. And I had failed.

It was stupid to be angry with him for this. It wasn't anyone's fault that he never loved me. But still I was hurt and angry and frustrated and sad and bitter. I was angrier at him for denying his relationship with our baby. That was the thing that pained me more. How could he? This baby was innocent. And if he didn't want it then I swore to myself to never let him near us ever again.

He had left us. So he would never have us. Even if he returned in his knees asking forgiveness. I couldn't forgive him for his last words. They had hurt me so much that I still cry and shout when I remember him saying them. I tore apart his message with all the force I was able to reunite in my bare hands while I cried and screamed feeling used and idiot.

Everyone guessed that something very bad had happened that night. I only told them the bare and important truth in all: he didn't want to have anything with me or our baby. And that was all. I decided to end this endless waiting for something that it will never come and I let the grudge grow and I buried my love. Maybe one fine day I would be able to love someone else as strongly and sincerely like I had loved that boy.

I wanted to believe in it even knowing I was lying. But at least I could try to live my life away from him and his memories. I needed to hate him if I wanted to go on living with a shattered heart, a battered soul and a useless mind. I needed the hate if I wanted to see him really, if I wanted to see who he actually was. And so I started to hate him or at least try to. And the trying was good enough to keep my heart silent at day and night.

It wasn't difficult to put gasoline to the hate. When the time passed and my belly grew with the joy that comforted me against everything, we all heard rumors about what he was doing in other places. His dark path was destroying his life and he didn't care. I swore to myself that I didn't care anymore and I force myself to believe it strongly.

I noticed how everyone near me didn't like to talk about him when I was with them. I appreciated their effort but I didn't care anymore or more precisely, I thought in my baby instead. When the rumors were there. When he was a menace in my mind trying to enter it again. I thought in the little human being inside my body growing and giving me happiness. I kept myself busy arranging everything for the baby. The room, the clothes, the toys. The cradle. I was delighted and that saved me from the inner madness hiding behind a closed door with his name on.

When I reached the sixth month I practically had shunned him from my thoughts and feelings and focused in my learning and my baby. I didn't want to know if it was going to be a girl or a boy. I wanted it to be a surprise even when Tsunade-Sensei knew already. I was grateful to my parents and friends for not asking anything more about that night. They shared my bliss and help me with everything making me happy and hopeful. The bitterness and frustration were dying and I felt secure and protected even knowing he was still in the world. But that was all.

I only feared what could happen if he showed up again in my life. How would I react?

* * *

_Sakura POV_

My hate for him got the best of me the terrible day I went into labor. I had seven months.

That day still haunts me in my solitude. He appeared in the forest near the gates of Konoha just wanting to fight. It was such a scandal and I was signalized for my relationship with him. I was able to see him from far away and my world was so damn shaken that I almost fainted by the intense emotion and it affected not only my heart and soul.

I didn't want to see him by the way. I was just there when he showed up fighting Kakashi-Sensei and Naruto. Ino, Hinata and Tenten were so freaked out when they saw me in that state of fury and confusion. I just wanted to him to leave, to go and leave us alone! I just wanted to him to go straight to hell from where he had come. And in my inner self I was wrongly glad of seeing him again. I remember myself trembling in despair and agony. But I needed the hate and the anger. I needed them to not feel the sadness and love.

I remember myself crying violently and uncontrollably and murmuring things to him. I didn't want him to hurt me again with his mere presence. And ironically my heart ached when he was hurt by my two friends. Suddenly I felt the physical pain owning my pregnant body and I went into labor without a warning. My water broke and the contractions were so intense and blinding that made me scream overwhelmed by the suffering. I had heard about it from my mother from early chats about this moment. She honestly told me all about her own experience and even when I was a medical ninja I knew that my experience was going to be quite different.

But I was so scared and hurting and with the pain clenching my young body and screaming and crying and I almost forgot to stay calm and controlled. Lucky me I had my friends there. They took me to the hospital immediately and called my parents. I heard in all my mess of pain and tears that he was gone finally and a warm peace embraced me and calmed me better than the medicines or my own parents. Now with my mind in control I focused in giving birth to my baby.

Tsunade herself attended me worried for the sudden birth. I had let the grudge to take over me and I was paying the consequences again in his behalf. I remember my father and my friends very worried and freaked out in the waiting room while Kakashi-Sensei and Naruto recovered from the battle in their own rooms. With my mother at my side and Tsunade giving me courage I screamed and cried while I was bringing my little baby to the world. It was harder and more difficult because I had missed the last two months and I wasn't prepared to it.

My soul was so filled with all that happened since his third arrival on my life and the sudden effect in my pregnancy that I didn't pay a lot of attention in what was happening around me and pushed and pushed trembling in fear. My eyes were foggy and crystal and I just followed the instructions praying to everything to end well. Tsunade was so serious and alarmed and my mother too. I knew something was going wrong. I saw blood. A lot of blood.

And I remember myself being torn by the pain even with the medicine and blaming him in my crying and screaming. Later I was able to remember that afternoon when I was lying in my bed recovering from the difficult birth and I could recall some things I had said. "I hate you, I hate you for hurting me still!". "I won't let you near us never again!". "Go straight to hell and don't come back!". "If something happens to my baby because of you I swear I will haunt you down and destroy you!." Some sort of things like that. Was physical pain fuel to my crushed heart?

The fear I felt for the possibility of losing my baby was high and terrifying. I cried praying to heaven to have it with me. It didn't matter what could have happen to me if my baby survived healthy. I prayed to let my baby to be born healthy. The labor and the birth were faster than they usually are with the first baby and still it felt like eternity until I felt its tiny body going out from my own and quietly crying in Tsunade's arms. My mother cried happily and with relief and the fifth Hokage finally said it making me smile wide and happier than ever. She softly smiled at me.

"It's a baby girl."

A girl. I cried. I had a daughter. But I knew that being born before the correct time it wasn't good and I didn't felt uneasy when the Hokage gave her to another person and said instructions to attend my daughter. Feeling dizzy and extremely exhausted I let myself relax and close my eyes drifting to the dreamworld.

Later that night I woke up in my room in the hospital feeling the remains of the pain in my sedated body and my mother and father were there with me. They smiled when they saw me awake and I refilled my spirit with their hugs and kisses and words. I was so scared when my little girl was being born. So damn scared. But the worse thing was knowing from my concerned parents that my little girl was fighting for her life.

The sudden birth was traumatic to her and I cried like mad blaming myself for surrendering to the effect of his presence near us. They calmed me and told me that she was stable but delicate. But she was being treated and if she could get better for tomorrow she would be alright. That night was the most horrible night I had had. I begged to Tsunade to let me visit my daughter even in a wheelchair and she gave me permission moved by my suffering. I had to stay looking through a glass at my little girl.

She was tiny and beautiful. She had dark hair and dark eyes. She looked exactly like him. Ironically I found myself contemplating the being who resembled his father with adoring, worried and loving eyes. How can I love her beyond understanding when I have started to hate his father and they look alike so much?

My parents accompanied me all night saying everything will be fine and giving me hope and courage. I decided to not let myself fall in despair as I got stronger and collected my thoughts and feelings and put all my support and caring in my little girl. I didn't cry anymore even with my eyes puffy and full of tears and I waited all that hours with mom and dad at my side till the morning came, praying, looking at her tiny hands and feet.

I smiled at her telling in my silence that I loved her since I knew of her inside of me and that I would not let anyone hurt her or take her away from me. When the sun was filling the room I sighed tiredly and grateful at Tsunade who entered the room where my daughter was and checked on her and then looked at us and smiled nodding with relief. I laughed and cried happily and relaxed knowing my little girl will be fine.

In the following days I was visited by all my friends and important people I knew. Kakashi-Sensei and Naruto were there almost healed and smiling happily for me. They didn't tell me all that happened between the two of them and him. I found myself filled with the bliss of having my daughter finally with me days later when she was strong enough and healthy to be in my arms and with all the people who already loved and cared for her. Everyone held her and smiled at her congratulating me. I had no laughed so much since months ago.

"What is her name?"

Tenten asked one afternoon while I was rocking her in my arms. I thought in silence before giving her the answer. My mother just looked up to me smiling gladly while she was putting some daisies in a jar that Naruto had brought to me.

"Miyu. I will call her Miyu Haruno."

And I kissed her in her tiny forehead marveled by the deep and beautiful look in his open and big and black eyes. His eyes. But sadly after all it was his daughter too.

"That's a beautiful name Sakura!"

And I just nodded at Kiba rocking my little girl dressed in pink and white.


	5. Returning

**Chapter 5**

**Returning**

_Sakura POV_

My little girl's is four months old today. Four months ago I was in labor, terrified and scared, crying and praying for her, for her health, for her sweet and little life. Now when I'm looking at her lying in her cradle I can't believe all that has happened so soon and unexpectedly in my life. I never thought of having a daughter at the age of sixteen. I never thought I would not be married when this happened. And I never thought that my baby girl would be his too.

While I was growing up with him surrounding me with his presence and making me to like that serious boy and later fall truly in love with him, I always knew in my heart of hearts that the chance to have his love was equally to zero. I knew deeply that he would never look at me as a girl, as a woman. So my dreams of marrying him and having his children were at the end just that. Dreams. Sweet but impossible dreams. But I protected myself behind my hope and kept on dreaming with him.

That's why I can't believe still that I made love with him many times in two different occasions. And that's why I can't believe I have a daughter. A little girl who is mine and who is his. Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming and when I wake up everything is a lie and in my reality I was never his, I was never pregnant and I'm still living my fantasy of having the love of the boy I adore with all my soul. And I cry because I don't want that reality and I want what I think is the dream and I want Miyu with me even with all that had happened, even with the pain and hurt in me.

And that's when I find myself smiling. When she looks at me and a sweet smile is in her face. And I am grateful to not be dreaming. And I am grateful for the part of the nightmare I'm living. But as long as my daughter is with me it doesn't matter. She keeps me going. And the irony is how she can do it being almost exactly as him. She's a beautiful baby. I was never as pretty as her. I'm a very proud mom.

Because you know, my little Miyu resembles him almost in everything. She has black hair (not much yet but she has it anyway) and black eyes exactly like him. I can almost imagine her with her long hair like her father. The same texture, the same straight. Her eyes are exactly the same as his too. I don't get tired of looking at her and wonder of her physical appearance reminding him. Her nose is like his and the color of her soft skin and the form of her rose lips are like mine and the way she smiles too. She smiles just like me. Her temper isn't entirely like mine. She's serious and thoughtful as him, always watching and alert at everything.

Sometimes I think Miyu has an old and wise soul within her tiny body by the way she looks around the world and the people. She doesn't have that sense of loneliness and sadness I saw in him and for that I'm grateful too. She is quiet and she rarely cries. But in her face you can always find something sweet and kind and even understanding that can make you think about it. I wonder what aspects of me she has. Mom says I'll see when she's growing bigger and older. But somehow I doubt she will have my personality. I think this time he in purpose left in her more than me while we were procreating her and I laugh at the irony. Perhaps he did it to torture me. And in my torture I find happiness and eternal and true love. In Miyu I saw him as I would want him to look. Not with coldness and vengeance. Not trapped in hate and darkness.

All the others have noticed this too. Miyu Haruno is very similar in appearance and temper as her father. My father said something about preferring to have a granddaughter with pink hair like me at least. I think he gets startled when Miyu is looking at him without giggling or playing with his clothes or fingers or hair. I get startled. Naruto is the other one who contemplates her with sudden thoughtfulness and melancholy.

But everyone (even the random people of Konoha) can see it. She is his daughter without a doubt. They don't say it thinking it will be rude to me and will hurt me. I don't say it either. Random people sometimes are difficult to handle. They saw me as a bad woman (I'm not using a worse word) and condemn my relationship with the traitor and enemy of our nation. They gossip around the town and even had mistreated me fearing my connection with him. They look strangely and accusingly at me wondering how I was stupid enough to waste my life and future with a child, a child born from "The other mad Uchiha" but I don't care. I have my parents and my friends and sensei and of course, my pride and joy, my baby girl Miyu who sometimes looks at me like if she's asking something I can't figure out. So I just smile happily at her.

My mother just simply adores her. She doesn't care about the color of her hair or her eyes or how much anyone can say she looks exactly as him when he was a small and innocent boy. I know she thinks about it when she's bathing her or feeding her. I have seeing her with that contemplative look in her face. But she doesn't say anything about it and just smiles and talks to Miyu and hold her in her experimented arms and sings happily while the little girl just looks and giggles with that understanding and quite strange look in her deep eyes.

Mom has been almost everything to me. She had helped me a lot with my new motherhood since I was still in the hospital. She was the one who encouraged me to choose her name. She really loves her granddaughter without a doubt. She has grown much attached to her and I think she gets sad when I take Miyu with me to see my friends.

My father isn't as caring and loving with Miyu as mom. I find this strange and concerning. He carries her and rocks her sometimes and even plays with Miyu. But he does it because my mother puts my little girl in his arms or lap smiling knowingly. I can't quite figure out the silent communication between them with their looks and smiles.

But dad was pretty serious (even trying to make it to sound like a joke) when he said that about Miyu's hair. Sometimes he seems really disinterested in her little presence. I have even thought that he avoids being near her on purpose. I haven't said anything but I notice all this. And it's not that he doesn't love her or care deeply for her. I think he's just having a hard time adjusting at the sudden change I have brought to the family with my behavior. And I think Miyu's looking is making his distance and disinterest to grow. I know that if she would have looked exactly as me he would have been happier and more interested in his granddaughter than he is. This saddens me.

They had supported me and they've been there for me and my daughter. And I can't help to sense that in their supporting and love for me they can be thinking things they aren't saying or sharing with me. I fear for the day when they finally understand what I have done since that first night when I slept with him. I fear for the day when they will see the whole picture of the big change in my life and in theirs for what I have done. Probably they're starting to see it. And that's why they share in their silence the things they cannot share with me now.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

My friends and sensei are more understanding (at least that's what I feel) with all this change. They help me to take care of Miyu and Naruto specially is so happy and smiling when he's the one carrying and taking care of her. I just smile when he starts babbling to her about the things he wants to teach her when she's older. Hinata sometimes comes with him (I know they have been seeing each other and I can sense sparks between those two and I feel very happy for them) and just laughs shyly hearing the things he says. She has been the only one to ask me straight and honestly worried about him and how I feel. I felt so grateful and her concerning moved me so much that it melted my shield and filled my eyes with tears. She just took my hand in hers and smiled at me saying everything will be fine in the end. I wanted to believe her kind words. I really did.

I should have known better like always. When everything seems going perfectly and peacefully there's one force strong enough to shake my world. And that force was getting nearer without my knowing until I unexpectedly noticed its effect in my surrounding and life. It was too late then.

It started when I listened to my parents talking in the night. I had put Miyu to sleep in her cradle and then walked to my room tired and with the smile she always manages to put on my face. That's when I heard them discussing and talking and his name came out in their words. I stopped trapped by the sound and curiosity and I got closer to my parent's room until I could hear them quite clear and my name came out now. I knew I was doing wrong listening at their private chat but I couldn't help myself when I started to understand what they were almost fighting about.

"Sakura will never allow you to do that!"

"She's just a little girl trying to live something she shouldn't have been living!"

"That's why you think you can decide for her and her life?"

Mother was calmer than father and I felt a wave of gratefulness at her protection for me. I should have known better like always.

"Yes! We are her parents; we know what the best is for her. And I know you think and feel the same about all of this like me. We both knew that all this was going to disrupt her life and reputation and future. This was going to put her in danger. We're not good parents if we let her going on with this thing that it will not do well for her!"

"I know you're right… it's just that I… we supported her since the beginning and I don't know…"

"I know honey. I thought too that we could do it and everything will be fine. I truly believe it and wanted it to be like that. But days and weeks had passed and everything has been clarifying in my head. We shouldn't have been so supporting or easy to forget. To forgive her mistake. We know how dangerous that boy is. We should have managed this matter in other way."

"You're saying Miyu is a mistake."

My mother talked with an angry voice. My father kept quiet for minutes. And I, who was listening with my ear against the door, was crying without a sound. The sadness had trapped me in its grip and my heart hurt between its cold fingers.

"You know what I mean. All this, my beloved and talented daughter, my bright girl, having sex with that Uchiha boy, who by the way was the only survivor of a clan that seems only trouble and psychotic business, and then getting pregnant at the age of sixteen, almost dying in the labor and giving birth to a premature baby, who by the way it's exactly and terrifying as him in her looks and endangering everyone in this house, even his daughter and Konoha because of the relationship between him and my naïve Sakura… Don't you really think is a mistake? All of that? Come on. This wasn't what you wanted for Sakura either."

He paused thinking in all he had said without knowing I was listening with my heart broken. I knew I had done wrong accepting him in the first place but still it hurt to hear my father retelling my life in that way.

"You and I wanted the best for her, having a bright career as a medical ninja, meeting and dating healthy and good boys, marrying one who could be a good husband and having children with him, children with sane blood in their veins and pink hairs if they were girls because you know very well that all the women in my family are born with pink hair! It has been like that for generations! Why that little girl, his daughter, doesn't have pink hair? She's an Uchiha more than anything! And that freaks me out with all that had happened with that clan and the rumors. It gives me the creeps when I see her eyes, his eyes by the way, looking at me. I'm sorry. I know is not the poor little girl's fault. She's innocent in all this mess. But I cannot help my feelings and sensations. I simply cannot."

My father ended his charade and sighed tiredly with angriness and a guilty face. Mother just looked somehow amazed and nostalgic at him in silence.

"I have tried honey. You know better than anyone. I can keep trying. But we failed as parents. We failed and that's the plain truth. We let our daughter to get lost. And now she's in frequent danger because of him. He appeared here in Konoha when she was still pregnant and almost kills her and the baby in the process with his mere presence. And you have heard the rumors and they are true. He's near Konoha and why do you think is that? It's because of Sakura and Miyu. I think it's because he wants his daughter with him. He wants her because the little girl is an Uchiha after all. He always seemed affected being the only survivor in his clan. A clan his mad brother destroyed by the way."

"That's why you want to manipulate Sakura's life. You want to marry her with some powerful ninja from the Sound to protect her. Some man who doesn't care about her previous life and Miyu. Not a simple boy. That's why you've been telling her to start thinking in her future and Miyu's too."

My mother just stated the facts thoughtfully and very pale by the last confession of his husband.

"That's not all. Yes, I want a man with her who can protect her and her daughter too. But I want her to marry someone picked for us that can provide her a good and secure future. She cannot go back to be a young girl like her friends. She's marked forever even if it hurts us. Sakura is now a woman and she will be treated like one and that's why she will marry with someone I had picked and she will be a good wife and she could still be an amazing medical ninja. Being married no one in Konoha will feel free to badmouth her anymore or mistreat her for sleeping with that boy and having his child. I need to do this or she will end again in his arms and trap like the last time! Having sex with him without having a relationship and making everyone to thought she's just a…!"

His father ended up shouting angry and frustrated. Her mother had tears in her eyes.

"It happened when she was already pregnant, I know even if she didn't say it, that night when she disappeared. I will protect my daughter; I will fix this, fix her future and life. I will give her a husband and a home and respect. That's what I'm going to do even if she cannot understand or doesn't like it. I love her. I need to save her if she can't save herself."

"I can understand all that. I agree with you but… What about Miyu? You're only trying to help Sakura… What about your granddaughter?"

"Sakura is her mother. She probably will take her to her new home and life."

He simply added indifferently. My mother was looking at him in silence doubting sadly and desperately.

"You're trying to save our daughter. But in my own opinion you're trying to save something that is out of your hands already… I will support you but I don't think you could help her as you want… but I… I feel more concern for Miyu. It's her and her life what I want to help and save. I cannot do anything more for Sakura but for my granddaughter…"

"You only want a second chance in that little girl."

Father stated that coldly and made my mother flinch a second. By the way she turned her gaze guiltily and kept silent made everything clear and gave the truth to my dad's words. I kept crying in silence, shocked and hurt.

"And what if I want it? What if I can do it better with Miyu? I don't care if she doesn't have pink hair nor has black eyes! I don't care if she looks more like him than Sakura! I love her! I want to be near her… she's my granddaughter… I can raise her and educate her if Sakura wants to restart her life! She's young and she missed a lot of things! Probably she misses to do things she would have wanted to do…"

"If that was the case and Sakura decided to left Miyu to us you want me to support you right? That's what you're asking and wants me to say."

"Yes. Will you support me?"

"Of course. You're my wife and I love you. But I won't be around that little girl as she was Sakura. That little girl is not a second chance to me. I haven't given up on my daughter."

"It's not a question of "giving up". If I'm not positive in your plan that doesn't mean that I have given up on her. She's my daughter too. I love her with all my being. It just that I don't think she will accept all of this. I know her."

"Well it doesn't matter. We are her parents and we have been supporting and caring. It's time to ask her to trust in us and let us guide her."

My mother didn't say anymore. She just sighed sad and thoughtfully and my father held her kissing her forehead looking very confident and secure. And I, their daughter, stayed still at the closed door crying silently and hurting. I just half smiled sad and angry at them and at myself and decided immediately what I had to do. What I knew I had to do.

That night I left my home with my sleeping girl in my arms, holding me softly and ignorant of everything happening around her innocent and new world. And I, with a couple of bags, one on my back and the other in my left shoulder, walked alone not wanting to discuss with my parents or ask them anything. No. I just wanted to sleep in another bed with Miyu and leave everything behind at least for some hours while the two of us were dreaming far away from them and their plans and opinions. Together at least.

* * *

While she was looking through the window in the living room, she knew this was going to happen. She had her daughter's letter in her hand and was crying silently and sadly. It was raining hardly outside and it was dark still. She had woken up at midnight and went to Miyu's room to check on her. She loved to watch her sleeping, just like she did when Sakura was a baby.

She had found the letter inside the cradle. She wondered how Sakura knew she will find it there instead her own room or other part of the house. After reading the letter she had her answer and started to cry feeling pain and sadness. She felt remorse and regret. But she, but some unknown reason even to her, didn't wake up her husband and just went to the living room and cried and cried in silence, thinking, in the still darkness. It started raining suddenly and she kept just staring at nothing through the window. She knew her daughter was hurt. She knew this was going to happen. It just that she didn't think Sakura would know of everything in that way and not by them. She was thinking in all of that when she suddenly saw something, or thought she had seen, outside. She forgot for a minute her inner mess and pain and stayed watching with attention. Was she seeing things?

And that was when she saw him. She let out a gasp of air startled and surprised seeing him standing in the pouring rain looking at the house, still and quiet as a statue. The poor woman almost had a heart attack but calmed herself with wide eyed expression and speechless. She had hidden herself behind the curtains and just watched afraid and thoughtful at the young boy of black hair and black eyes totally wet. Why he hadn't done anything? Why was he there? Her husband was right in his prediction? So many questions without a straight answer and she was terrified by his sudden presence and all that could mean and cause.

She was pale and shivering thinking that it was almost near the half hour when she had left her husband sleeping alone in their bed and he would notice her absence pretty soon. Her mind started to run fast and not knowing exactly what to do with that presence outside her house she just took the phone and dialed a number. She couldn't handle that now and didn't understand her own explanation through the phone. She just wanted to make him go away. To stop him staring at the house, at the window, even at her with that empty face. Her blood froze in her veins when she discovered he was looking at her directly. She forced herself to stay away from the window and just stand there in the shadows worried and praying for her daughter and granddaughter, watching the boy standing under the heavy rain without a sign of knowing of her observance or presence in the calm house. She only could wait and pray for someone to come and pick him up. But her waiting was interrupted by a sudden yell and a clash of a door. And all she could see then was his husband going out of the house and running to the dark haired boy who didn't care about his shouting or the tall and strong man getting near to punch him.

She didn't know exactly how all happened. She remembered she run to the principal door and then went out of the house and felt the rain soaking her in seconds. She run screaming at her husband to stop, desperate and crying of surprise and fear and the pain and hurt for the leaving of Sakura and Miyu. When she reached the both of them, her husband had him by his collar and was shaking him screaming madly and angry. Screaming hurt. She saw then that he had punched the Uchiha boy before. The father of Miyu had a black and blue eye and blood running out of his nose and lips. His face was still empty and his eyes were looking expressionless at the man but at the same time they seemed lost. When her husband started to beat the boy again she went out of her reverie and tried to stop him. His husband was screaming the same things over and over, blaming the boy for all that had happened with their daughter and their family and calling him a lot of things. He was crying frustrated and she had a hard time trying to make him to free the boy from his grasp. She screamed scared and pained and used all her strength until she could finally calm and apart his husband and the boy fell to the ground in his knees breathing hard.

It was then that Kakashi and Gai appeared of nowhere and she sighed grateful and tired still trying to imprison her husband in her sweet embrace. She saw the two experimented ninja came near to the fallen boy still and quiet, and they got in their knees cautiously and ready. She focused in her husband then, calming herself. She had been so worried for him. She was scared that the Uchiha boy could have kill him without a doubt.

"Stop Kakashi! Let me finish...!"

"Stop darling! Let them take him! Please!"

Gai lifted the boy carefully and silent supporting him with an arm around his shoulders. Kakashi just sighed tiredly looking at us.

"She's right. Stop now. He hadn't defended himself. You'll catch a cold. Go to sleep, tomorrow you can "finish" this in the Hokage's office."

"But Kakashi I cannot let him go just like that...! I... I...!"

"Stop right now! Please darling... let's go to home and dry... I need to talk to you seriously!"

The angry man looked at her and knew something was wrong. The plea in her crystal eyes was special and being his wife for so many years he had come to knew her. He nodded angry still and let her guide him holding him strong against her shivering body. Before they were away her husband turned his cold and infuriated gaze to the boy who was in Gai's arms barely standing and distant at everything.

"Don't dare to return here or I'll swear I'll kill you! Leave my family alone you hear me!"

"Let's go honey, come on..."

She rushed him to return to the house and saw him walking tense and murmuring things without noticing that she didn't follow him. She called Kakashi to her side very worried and afraid. Gai stayed behind still supporting the quiet and seemingly lost boy.

"What is it?"

"Kakashi, Sakura and Miyu aren't here anymore... She heard us talking about... some things and she... left home hours ago with my granddaughter... I'm more worried because of him here!..."

Kakashi nodded thoughtful.

"Calm down, don't worry. We'll take care of everything and if we know something of Sakura we'll notice you, alright? I'm pretty sure she just decided to go to one of her friends' house. Now go to talk to your husband and sleep."

"Ok... thank you..."

He just smiled and then he went back to his ninja friend and the silent boy and they left right away. IShe stayed there seeing them go, especially the one who was the father of her granddaughter who didn't react like she had supposed he would do. It was almost as if something wrong had happened to him. So wrong and terrible that had left him speechless and still as a statue.

She sighed tired and feeling strong enough to confront her husband and tell him about Sakura's leaving. Just remembering made her eyes fill with unshed tears and immense sadness and the hurt and pain of failing as a mother crushed her. She agreed with her husband in a lot of things. But she didn't want to lose her family. She still doesn't. And so she walked back home shivering with cold and exhausted.


	6. Hating

**Chapter 6**

**Hating**

Ino had looked very worried at her friend when she saw her standing at her door in the middle on the night with Miyu and two bags. Looking at her green eyes was painful. It seemed she was lost and deeply hurt and desolate. So when she talked calm and softly smiling it really surprised the blond girl.

"Ino… Can I stay here at least for tonight?"

"Sure Sakura… come one let me help you."

The blue eyed girl took the two bags from her pink haired friend and let her pass to her house.

"Sakura you can stay here all you want, you know."

"I don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore. I'm pretty sure that will bring problems to you and your family so it's fine. I'll try to find a place for Miyu and me and we'll leave you the sooner we can."

Sakura smiled grateful and somehow sad. Ino could see it in her crystal and puffy eyes. She invited her with a gesture to sit down at the sofa and then went to the kitchen and brought a couple of cups of hot lemon tea. Sakura just stared at nothing holding apprehensively the sleeping little girl in her arms.

"What happened? You can trust in me… you can tell me if you want."

Sakura just smiled moved seeing the concerning and true caring in her pretty face. She just sighed tired and shocked her head.

"I can't right now. I'm still… trying to process everything… maybe tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah, as you want. Don't worry about my family, I will talk to them. You can sleep with Miyu in our guest room anyway."

"Thank you Ino. I really appreciate this."

"Don't say anything. You would do the same for me."

Ino just smiled and the two drank their cup of lemon tea in silence. After that the blond girl led the way to the guest room and soon Sakura and Miyu were lying in bed sleeping in the shadows. It started to rain suddenly.

Ino closed the door behind her and stayed in the hall preoccupied. Something had happened in her friend's house and was bad enough to make Sakura to leave the house with bags and Miyu in the middle of the night. When she decided to return to her bed and think tomorrow in all with detail, she heard her crying in the silence only disturbed by the rain falling down and hard. And Ino stayed against the door just wondering about it.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

I can't believe what I have done. When I woke up this morning feeling better in Ino's house I never thought I would end my day at the hospital so shocked and petrified with turmoil of emotions running through every part of me.

After I woke up and thought calmly about everything that had happened the night before at my house between my parents, I prepared myself to confront the day and make decisions about my present life and future, about my little girl's life. I couldn't go back with mom and dad after hearing them speaking so honestly about their feelings concerning me and Miyu. Part of me tries to understand them and see the points where the truth could lay. But the major part of me was extremely sad and desolate. I was a young mother without a husband who would not depend anymore in her parents. So I started to think how to rebuild my life and in consequence Miyu's with my own hands.

For some days at least I will have to depend on Ino and her family who were very kind with me and my daughter. But if father was right in one thing was that I was not a young girl anymore like Ino or Hinata or Tenten. I was a mother too and I had another life to take care of.

So after taking a bath with my baby girl who always seemed so thoughtful and understanding, I got us dressed and then we had breakfast with Ino's parents who were preparing themselves to go to their respective jobs. Ino wasn't there and her mother told me she had left very early because she had received a call from Iruka-Sensei. Miyu and I had our breakfast and then I decided to go and see Tsunade-Sensei to ask her advice and help. Maybe I would have to postpone my apprenticeship for a while till I could fix my life and get a home and a job. If my mother wanted to help me with Miyu in matters of money I could accept it. At least my mother really loved her and I was pretty sure about that and her good intentions.

Ino's parents didn't ask me anything about being there. I guessed my friend had told them not to do it yet. So I left their home with Miyu in my arms and a big bag in my left shoulder with mostly her things and waved goodbye at them smiling and hiding my inner fear of the unexpected and the feeling of having my own life and future in my bare hands and went to see the Hokage immediately. Strangely enough I didn't meet any of my friends. I thought they could have been busy with missions and trainings or like Ino with Iruka-Sensei.

While I was walking noticing the people around me still looking at us and murmuring, my heart beat hard inside my chest and I felt the trepidation of everything trying to suffocate me. I felt sad and lonely above everything. I felt ashamed for my parents and the way I had affected their life but I felt angry when I thought in them saying that I could leave my little girl with them and go on living as if nothing had happened. Remembering that made the blood inside my veins to boil and I held Miyu closer who just was looking and smiling at her surrounding. I will never let anyone to take her away from me. No one. Not even my mother. How could they think I would do such a thing? I was her mother, she was my daughter. I love her beyond comprehension and I had promised to her and to me that I would do anything to protect and take care of her.

And I would never let anyone harm her. I could not go on living if she was taken away from me. She was now part of my life and I would be there to assure that. Not matter what. I will not let anyone to take her away from me and not even him. When I remembered my father saying that he was near Konoha and that maybe he would return for Miyu I felt fury and despair, terrible fear and hate. How could he think in that? He had said he wasn't her father and that he didn't care a bit about it. He had broken his fragile connection with us when he went away that time saying all that hurting and cruel words. So I had sworn to never let him near us again. And I would keep my promise not matter what.

I felt betrayed and deeply scared at the possibility of losing my daughter in the hands of my mother or his. Even in my father's hands if he decided to marry me with someone else. I was still underage and the simple thought of being away from Miyu made my eyes to water and my willing force to grow. I felt so many emotions and doubts that I almost ended crying in the middle of the street. I was terrified and I imagined my parents and him cornering me to try to convince me to take another path where my baby girl wasn't in the picture. Deeply I knew that perhaps I was exaggerating but everything had happened so soon that I let my imagination to carry me in my deepest fear. In my mind I only had the idea of not letting Miyu go and keep her in my arms forever.

I was confused and very shocked remembering everything since I slept the first time with him that I was trapped in my own heart and mind. If he had left me in peace with my daughter, if he hadn't been near scaring my parents and making them to have plans for me and Miyu and alerting everyone in Konoha, probably I would still be in my home and would have my parents' support and love. And I focused in my fragile hate for him, the hate I was still trying to feed and sincerely felt against him, a hate I wanted to be stronger than my useless love that never really reached him and never touched him with a single caress. I felt angry for the chance of him returning for the first time in my life. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to be near him.

That would only make me remember what I never actually had and the logical reasons to not love anymore the boy I have fancied all my life. Logical reasons that hurt me intensely and were getting me to the desired "No" I should have said to every thought and feeling towards him.

So when I got at Tsunade-Sensei and I heard that she was in the hospital wing that was my state of mind. I controlled my shaking, either physical or emotional, and went there to talk to her.

And that was when I saw him.

And my world was shaken so badly that I lost my mind and froze in my place looking at him at the end of the empty hall I was walking with Miyu in my arms. I stared at his figure paralyzed like me at the end of the white and silent hall with my green eyes open wide and without any sign of my own voice. I felt my body trembling and instinctively I held Miyu closer to me looking like being in a trance-state at him. He seemed to be looking back at us but he had a strange spark of ignorance in his black eyes.

Suddenly I noticed his right eye looking black and blue and swollen and the way he was dressed. He was wearing special clothes from the hospital, clothes that only patients use. I let myself to be carried in the multiple details of his still and quiet presence only meters away from me. That black hair. Those black eyes. His skin looked paler than usual. The rare and weird expression of emptiness combined with his natural coldness and indifference. There was the person whom I love still and that I try to hate lately and desperately. There was the only man in my life and the father of the daughter I will protect with my own life.

There was him. The boy I loved so much. He was here again, in front of me. Staring strangely and confusedly at me.

And I went into panic so sudden that I lost my breath for a couple of minutes. It was almost as being drowned in the open sea. And my mind and my heart and my soul focused in the little girl who was in my arms playing with my hair and who was now attracted at the thing her mother was seeing in that moment.

Miyu turned her innocent and dark eyes at his father and just stared kindly and curiously at him.

After seeing that my mother's instinct took over me and I stepped back trembling in fear and anger. In deep hurt. I didn't want to be harmed again by him in any way. I need to have him away from me to survive and go on living. Like before I needed the hate and the anger to surpass the love and the sadness I felt in reality.

And that was all. The veins boiled with my blood running hot and quickly I looked for a safe place to put Miyu while I try to make him go away from us. He reacted at seeing me moving finally and started to walk to me with slow and tired pace. It was all I needed to reunite courage and will power. I left Miyu who just looked at me curious and softly inside the room I could find open first at the bed with my bag and the pillows surrounding her to keep her secure and away from harm. When I closed the door and didn't hear her crying (obviously she was braver than me and any other kid I have known) he was almost in front of me.

The words that came out of my mouth I didn't think them before. Right in that moment I let my heart to talk in my desperation and fear and the battle between my love and the grudge I felt against him.

"What do you want?!... Why you can't leave me alone?! Go away!!"

My voice was shaken by the tears of frustration and anger. He paused after hearing me and just let his gaze study me in all his coldness and stoic presence. Somehow I saw deeper feelings floating in his eyes, like sadness and loneliness, like defeat and confusion. But in that moment I didn't gave them credit because I was protecting my daughter and myself from him and his presence and all he symbolized.

" I don't want to see you anymore!! Just go!! GO AWAY LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!"

I started to cry mostly caused by hurt and the pain of my broken heart. It got me angrier seeing him without reacting or talking, just glaring at me with his cold glance and his stoic face. When he finally extended slowly his right hand to touch my cheek I stepped back again and dismissed his gesture with my own hand.

"Go, go, go now!! I don't need you! Why are you here?? Leave me alone! Please…"

When I saw that he was turning his gaze to the room where Miyu was I was beyond scared. If he decided to take her with him and away from me I knew I would not have chance against him. That only made me angrier and terrified me enough to use physical force against him. I pushed him away with all my force. He didn't put on resistance of any kind. Soon I had him against the crystal window that showed the gardens of the hospital and people who were staring at us and some of them were coming to us quickly. I didn't put attention to recognize anyone.

"Don't dare to see her or harm her!! I won't let you do it!! Did you hear me?? I won't let you take her away from me!! You're nothing to her and you're nothing to me now!! I don't want you here!! Go and don't come back!! I hate you!! You made me to hate you!! You hurt me with your words that night!! You hurt me and broke my heart saying she wasn't yours! You insulted me saying she wasn't yours and that her father was other!! How you dare to come back and face me?? Face her?? You said I was just a "moment of fun" a "moment of release"!! You said you didn't care about me and anyone here in Konoha!! Then go away if you don't give a damn about anything here!!"

I was crying freely so angry and so hurt. I didn't know how I had kept all that inside of me without saying it to anyone for so long and now that I was willing to let it out I was shaking and looking at him with so much pain and fury like I never thought I would be looking at him one day against all odds. He just stayed glancing at me with his serious face and without saying a single word.

Then he tried again to touch my cheek but I dismissed it again brusquely and then he lifted his other arm at the room where my baby girl was and I felt a rush of blind fear and anger running to my brain that I only thought in wanting him to go, to apart him from me and from Miyu.

And I pushed him aggressively so hard and focused in my turmoil of suffering and he didn't do anything to defend himself. I saw him crashing against the crystal window and then I heard the sound of the smashing and the breaking glass and I saw surprised how he fell through it easily and landed in the garden hitting him badly at the use of my force. I think I pushed him so hard that I made him fly away a couple of meters.

I stayed wide eyed, crying shocked and afraid, trembling and staring at his lying body unconscious and still. He had his eyes closed and it seemed he had hit his head when he had hit the grass after the violent push and fall.

I didn't notice when Ino and my friends came running to me very amazed and shocked at the whole incident. I cannot recall all they said to me and all the other persons said in that moment. Their presences were a blur in my head where only the falling of him was played over and over.

I had hurt badly the man I love. I had hurt the father of my baby. I had hurt my Sasuke-Kun.

My eyes unfocused and my mind entered and left the world around me in an alternate way. I saw with my blurry vision from the tears and the impact of my doing when Kakashi-Sensei came preoccupied at his side and lifted him in his arms to a sitting position calling his name. I saw hypnotize and speechless the blood running out of a deep cut he had in the right part of his forehead. He was bruised and dirty from the impact of the falling. Everything became a deeper blur and I felt like I was floating and falling in a deep and dark place but I tried to maintain myself conscious. Then I felt two pairs of hands pushing me away from the scene and guiding me to the room where I knew I had left Miyu. Hinata and Ino were the ones who led me into the room and closed the door. When I say Miyu giggling and welcoming me with her sweet expression and his same eyes everything went clear in my mind and suddenly I understood what had happened minutes ago.

I had hurt deeply and badly Sasuke-Kun. I had hurt my baby's father. And I didn't want to take it so far! I didn't! Oh my God I still love him! That's why I cannot bring myself to hate him openly!

But I had hurt him physically. I just wanted him to go. I just wanted to start a life without his presence giving me useless hope. I just wanted to erase him from any part of me. I wanted peace and calm. I didn't want to hurt him like that! I just wanted him to free us, free me from him and all he meant to me.

"Sakura... Are you alright?"

Ino looked worried at me and Hinata was holding my hands in hers with a concerned glance. I was crying desperately and madly.

"I..."

I? What was I going to say?... That I hurt the boy I cherished and loved beyond understanding?...

"I just... I just..."

And my tears began to fall freely and abundant from my green and tired eyes and I sobbed trembling immerse in the full hurricane of my feelings and thoughts.

"I just wanted him to go and leave me alone..."

I couldn't say anymore. Hinata hugged me trying to calm me while Ino patted my back and head. In the silence of the room where my little girl was just looking at me curiously and kindly I cried and sobbed consternated at all for long minutes.

"Oh my God... I tried to kill him!"

"That's not true Sakura! It was an accident! Just that!"

Ino said quickly. Hinata talked softly then.

"You thought he was going to take or hurt Miyu, you were only protecting her... it was an accident."

I knew they were right. I could never bring myself to seriously kill him. Not even after all and not even in the worst scenario. My love was still so big that it enabled me to do so a horrible thing. But in my terrible fear and anger I had hurt him still.

I didn't and couldn't say anything more and I just cried while Hinata let Ino to comfort me and she took Miyu in her arms soothing her. And I just replay the scene of him falling because of me through the window with that acceptance in his stoic expression.

I had hurt my Sasuke-Kun. And I didn't felt any good at it like everyone maybe could thought I would feel. I felt miserable. Even if I didn't want him near me again that didn't mean I wanted him hurt or dead, just away. I don't remember how long I kept crying. I just wanted him away. That's all. And I cried and cried until there were no more tears to shed.


	7. Knowing

SPECIAL NOTES:

**This chapter and the next to come will have a little of my supposed future of the original manga. I had read generally what is going on and I choose to tell some details (very slightly nothing very informational) that maybe could be see to others as Spoilers. I don't know but I'm telling you as a little warning. I always pictured this story to be set a little after the whole original plot. Maybe with time it will go in an alternate universe if the manga differs from my supposed ideas or people who will be death in the original and here not.**

**And for YOU (I would not say your nickname haha to see if you catch my point) I dedicate and wrote a line in Naruto's words after reading your review. If you know that I'm talking to YOU you will notice it immediately (I guess). I only hope that you're still interested and reading this.**

**Thanks to you all.**

**Chapter 7**

**Knowing**

Everyone or almost everyone in Konoha knew about the incident between Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. The only thing that surpassed it and made everyone to talk about other thing was his sudden and mysterious return to his homeland. Tsunade would have wanted to maintain all the matter in silence until some time had passed but now it was inevitable. The people who witnessed the whole scene between the two at the hospital's gardens discussed and murmured about it with the ones who didn't have a clue about the Uchiha boy's latest return.

When Sakura had turned pregnant and everyone eventually knew the gossip was there. Tsunade and Kakashi couldn't help but supported her even worrying about the father of the baby. They knew what it meant to someone young and in her situation, because of the non existent relationship between the two of them, and the big change that a baby would brought to her life. Gai and the other Sensei or even some Anbu talked about it and find quite strange and unusual of Sasuke to have down his defenses so low. Almost all of them thought that it could have been easier for him to have sex with some other and unknown girl. They didn't quite believe that he could have felt something strong for Sakura either.

Even if it sounded hard it was probably the truth. Sasuke never displayed any kind of special affection towards the pink haired girl who liked him since they were both little. If he could have picked any girl, why did he pick Sakura? Why to bother all the way to Konoha just to have sex with his former teammate? If he didn't like her particularly or much less didn't love her... then why he had chosen her above anyone else? It was because she always declared her feelings towards him and he took advantage of that? It was plainly obvious that he only wanted sex and nothing more. He even didn't care if the girl could get pregnant.

Well, being a male of sixteen it was natural to want to experience sex. But being Sasuke Uchiha that was not so natural. He never seemed attracted to think in other things besides his training and growing power and revenge against his brother.

To Kakashi the things seemed different. He didn't think that Sasuke just wanted a moment of sex. He didn't think he just had picked Sakura because she was a sure thing. Sasuke was the kind of man who wouldn't have a moment of intimacy, even if it was sex, without being completely sure about the meaning of the sharing. And if he just picked Sakura for having she as guarantee, why did he return again to her later? He knew as Tsunade and others and like others only guessed that they had shared another moment of intimacy that night when he called her to meet him in the forest near Konoha.

Some said that he chose her and returned to Konoha to become true his other purpose. One was fulfilled and Itachi was dead. The other was to bring back the Uchiha Clan and some thought that was the reason of being sexually involved with Sakura Haruno. But Kakashi as others like Tsunade think differently about this. If that was true then, why he didn't do it correctly? Marrying her and starting a stable marriage and family? Staying in Konoha building up his dream? He was too young and it was sudden to start a dream like that. He had acted the other way about it. Sakura had said some cruel and serious things when she had tried to make him go away from her and Miyu. And in those words, like she had said before, Sasuke didn't have any intention in proclaiming himself the father of the baby. He had said he didn't care a bit about it. If Sakura could get pregnant or not in their encounters he didn't care and didn't think in having children not even with her. That was what it seemed.

But now he was again here. And he had tried to get closer to Sakura and their daughter. Could the rumor be true then? He slept with Sakura thinking and using her just as a tool to have a child and eventually bring back his clan? Somehow Kakashi couldn't bring himself to believe in this and he didn't understand why.

Why Sasuke came again all the way long to only be with her? There was something in the middle of all that was bothering Kakashi. He didn't think sadly that Sasuke could possibly be in love with Sakura. Sasuke had left the part of his heart that could hold that feelings very far away in his dark path and it seemed he hadn't recovered it yet. In fact it was difficult to know how he felt about the persons around him. But he, who was his teacher for some time, knew that the Uchiha boy had once a heart and had once his feelings hiding and controlled behind his mask of coldness and indifference. Could he still think that of Sasuke?

"How is he?"

Iruka, Gai and Kurenai were there with serious and thoughtful faces.

"He's still unconscious and a little shaken up and bruised but he'll recover soon from it. The fall was hard and he hit his head badly enough to put him unconscious."

"Sakura really put all her force on it."

They all nodded at Gai's words. Kurenai spoke then concerned.

"How is she by the way?"

"Ino took her to her house. She was very shocked as you can imagine. She looked very affected. She was crying and crying almost traumatized."

"Gai and you were here when that happened but Kurenai and I weren't. Still the retelling is so specific that I can almost think I was here when it happened. I dated all the boys and girls early to explain to them about the situation, about his returning. They reacted like me at first. Very amazed and confused. Naruto was specially angry. He was the one who did everything in his power to bring him back before. Shikamaru told me that Naruto had left the reunion saying that he would come to the hospital to talk to him. He disappeared and the rest of them were very worried about him."

"So Naruto came to the hospital before Sakura?"

"That's right Kurenai."

Kakashi answered thoughtful.

Naruto was there first. He remembered the scene he had witnessed early in the morning before the incident with Sakura.

* * *

_Kakashi had left Sasuke alone just for a moment. He had spent all night at his side, acting as his guardian and his mentor at the same time. Even after all that had happened, he was once his student. And he had to keep an eye on him being now a traitor and enemy still._

_When he had returned to the room he had found the door barely open. Then he heard the voice of Naruto Uzumaki inside. He got closer to the door and peeped inside not doing any sound to disturb the one sided conversation the blond boy had with the dark haired boy who was lying still and quiet in the bed with his eyes open and fixed at the ceiling._

"_Why Sasuke? Why do you have to return till now? Sakura needed you all the time, your baby girl needed you when she came to the world. The both needed you here and you left them alone... You left them alone without caring!"_

"_Naruto-Kun..."_

_So Hinata was there with him too. Kakashi just sighed worried letting Naruto to let out his feelings._

"_You hurt Sakura deeply. She suffered a lot every time you left. I can barely help myself to not punch you for whatever you said to her the last time that broke her so bad. She loves you so much and you only hurt her. If you didn't love her at least you could let her go. But no, you came and went twice making her believing in something you didn't feel. It's ok if you didn't love her. You cannot make someone to love you. But you should have been more responsible for all. She was and knows how wrong she acted and the fault she shares with you. But I wished you to be here when she was pregnant and I wished you to see your daughter growing up inside of her and kicking her belly. Hinata and I felt your little girl's force in that fragile kick and you weren't here. You chose to go all emoish and left them!"_

_Naruto paused and sighed deeply. Kakashi could see the glistening in his blue eyes. Hinata must had been in a corner of the room in front of the bed because he couldn't get a glance at her._

" _It took you long to return. It took you to make things that I would not wanted you to do. I thought that you would stay after everything ended, I thought you would stop after Itachi's death and everything else that happened. I thought that everything was going to be fine and you would be here with us. But you left again without a reason and without explaining... only left without saying goodbye. I looked for you again! I was so angry at your silence and going!"_

_He raised his fists in sign of his anger boiling up._

"_I 'm so angry for so many things!"_

_Naruto started to cry sadly and frustrated. His body trembled and he didn't say anything more for some minutes. Later still with tears running through his cheeks he spoke again more composed._

"_I'm angry at myself for not being strong enough or useful enough to have brought you back before. And I know it's not my fault but I still feel like it is. Why do you have to return like this? Being like this? It's not fair you know!"_

_The blond boy laughed jokingly still sobbing sadly._

"_It's not fair. Not fair to me because I cannot bring myself to punch you or dare you to a fight or a discussion where I would end screaming my heart out. It's not fair and it saddens me to see you like this... it breaks my heart. Maybe you never thought it completely real but I considered you my friend, the brother I never had. And even after all... I am happy that you have returned and that you're alive. But that doesn't erase the confusion I feel still after you left when everything looked to be better for all of us!"_

_Hinata got closer to him and embraced him by the shoulders shyly. Kakashi just observed the pair with a sad and understanding look. Naruto calmed minutes later and drying his tears and smiling gratefully at his concerning companion got closer to the bed and contemplated his distant and former teammate with sad and caring eyes._

"_Please get better. We have a lot to do still. You have a lot to do still and explain. I'll be waiting for you. I'm always waiting for you. You're my friend."_

_And Kakashi had to run for his life when he saw the couple walking to the door._

* * *

"So that happened..."

Kakashi nodded at Iruka. The four of them stayed quiet for a while.

"I don't know and nobody knows how Sasuke got up of the bed and walked till he met Sakura in that hall. We don't know why he got up. Maybe Naruto's words reached him."

Kakashi added thoughtfully and tired.

"Hinata told me that Naruto asked the others to enter alone to see him and talk to him. He couldn't say no to Hinata of course and she accompanied him."

"So they were leaving with the others when the incident happened, right?"

Gai asked Iruka after the explanation of the last one. He just nodded.

"Then it's true the information about his condition?"

"Unfortunately it is Kurenai."

"And… What is going to happen to him? What decision Tsunade will take regarding his situation?"

Kakashi sighed thoughtful.

"Well I don't know yet. Tsunade is still working on it. But the Council is going nuts with this. They don't trust in Sasuke anymore. I don't think they will anyway some day at least completely. He will be under surveillance and some Anbu will watch over him. It's true he hasn't done anything more against Konoha or anyone or anything in particular since all that but he's still dangerous and powerful or they think so. The worst thing is that Sasuke left after all that mess about the Uchiha Clan and Konoha and Akatsuki without solving anything. It's true that he stopped at the end and even helped out but he didn't have an agreement with the leadership of Konoha and they labeled him still as an enemy and a traitor."

Gai was very serious when he talked more to himself than to his other companions after Kakashi had ended his explanation.

"He did a pretty bad act against Konoha and some of us. He was a declared enemy and traitor and then an ally for a time of Orochimaru or Akatsuki or Madara. His deeds are big and like you said Kakashi, he just left again after everything ended leaving us without a clue about his intentions or plans. The Council and Tsunade were right in mistrust him then."

"Do we still consider him an enemy and traitor?"

"I don't think so Kurenai. If he was still I think he should had been doing something more instead of wandering around Konoha to left a pregnant girl behind. He was out of our sight for some time and we don't know where he was or what he was doing. But I really believe that even with all the doubts and ignorance from our part he isn't anymore an enemy and a traitor."

The three just listened at Iruka in silence. The only woman started to talk again thinking.

"I hope you're right. And I hope that his return doesn't bring more problems and danger especially to Sakura and Miyu. That little girl needs peace and a happy family."

* * *

Kakashi walked alone by the halls of the hospital still thinking hard about this matter named Sasuke Uchiha. He could comprehend Naruto's anger and frustration. After everything happened, those terrible and hurtful events, the blond boy had thought like everyone else that Sasuke had finally came to his senses and he would stay in Konoha again. The old and powerful and dangerous enemies were gone, their country was safe and everyone's life was calm and hopeful again. Even the life of Naruto. But the last Uchiha had acted differently than they had expected and hoped and he had left again without saying goodbye. Maybe he had thought that he would be put under arrest or judged by the government of the village, Kakashi believed, and that's was his reason for fleeing before any of this happened. But he thought that if Sasuke really had come to his senses like everyone thought he would do, he would have stayed to receive any punishment or judging being still the person he was or Kakashi thought he was.

So for that and other things Kakashi thought that the runaway of his former student was more complicated than everyone believed. Why Sasuke was running away again if everything had ended and he could restart a new life after the consequences of his choices and path could be mended if he made a deal and compromise?

Then the rumors about him reached the ears of Konoha. And the rumors were strangely enough mysterious to put him again in a cold path full of darkness. Sasuke had achieved his sole purpose already and had learned a lot and became a powerful ninja. Why he was still lurking in darkness and solace? Kakashi thought that it was probably that the boy was still immersed in the last waves of the life he had chosen and needed time to settle the feelings and thoughts and confusion inside his soul. But somehow he couldn't help to worry about his former student. He was like a complete stranger the last time he had been in Konoha.

Then when Sakura came and told him that she was pregnant he immediately knew who the father was. Who else had the heart of the girl since she was little? Only him. And Kakashi had the hope that this strange and unexpected act from Sasuke could meant something deeper and good to him but he again acted exactly the same and left. He did it twice. And in the last one he had mirrored the person he had become after leaving Konoha and had hurt Sakura and given zero caring or attention to his unborn baby. The shadow of the Sasuke Uchiha they had hoped to be disappeared was still there. And now they didn't have a clue of what was happening or what had happened inside and outside the cold and stoic boy.

But the worst part, even after all that running through his head, was the information Tsunade had gotten from her tests when they had brought the boy to the hospital from the Haruno's house last night. They had brought him because they saw he needed it anyway and it was a good place to analyze the situation. When he remembered the talk they had with the Hokage he felt more concerned about Sasuke Uchiha.

* * *

_The next morning only a few knew about his return. Iruka was still very shocked with the sudden event and was instructed by Tsunade to pass the notice to the young ninjas that were before friends of him, especially Naruto. But Kakashi and Gai stayed the rest of the night outside the special room where they had left him to someone to attend his injuries caused by the father of Sakura. He wasn't very hurt by him but there was something strange in all. The fifth Hokage soon was there and attended personally the recuperation of the missing ninja of Konoha and instructed a lot of physical, mental and emotional tests. She felt the same sensation that the two men shared. Now she was reunited with them and the three were watching the boy intensely, like if they could figure out something only observing him in silence._

"_What's wrong with him?"_

_Gai asked suddenly. The dark haired boy was just lying in bed with his gaze fixed at the ceiling without moving or saying anything._

"_I don't exactly know. But this reminds me of some sort of Jutsu powerful enough to break his emotional self. But it's kind of different and strange and more effective by the way."_

_Gai continued asking while Kakashi just stared seriously at the boy._

"_He was affected before by things like that. Even by his brother. He can do it to others. Why is different now?"_

"_Because this time it has affected his body in a physical way too. The preliminary tests showed some inexplicable sort of physical damage in his brain. It's not merely emotional or mental and that's the rare thing. To have ended like this it means something powerful enough attacked him. And we always knew that he was one of the best students and ninjas in Konoha. That's why I'm worried."_

_Tsunade sighed tiredly still watching the still figure of the boy. Kakashi finally spoke looking somehow sad._

"_What are the consequences of this?"_

_The Hokage looked at him by the corner of her eye in silence before answering. Kakashi knew that the answer was going to be difficult to receive and give._

"_We don't exactly know. We need to watch him and do more tests on him. But you can see them already, right? His stillness, his silence. The distant and lost look in his eyes. His expressionless face even more now than before. And there's one thing I'm still working out and it's very serious and concerning."_

"_What is it?"_

_Tsunade looked at Gai furrowing her brow._

"_He can't show physical pain."_

"_WHAT?"_

_Gai almost shouted at her confession and Kakashi only seemed beyond surprised._

"_He could be suffering a lot of pain in any part of his body and he can't express it. He could be screaming in pain at the top of his lungs and we wouldn't see any sign of it in him. Only if he collapses or faints by the pain we could have a clue of his inner and silent suffering. I don't know still how much this condition has affected his natural way of showing any kind of expression or emotion. I don't know still if he can cry anymore."_

"_That's… too sad."_

_Kakashi just nodded at Gai. He let his only uncovered eye to study the boy lying in bed. He couldn't help to feel an intense and overwhelming sadness washing over him. After all he was once his student and he had grown to care deeply about him like he had with Sakura and Naruto. Gai seemed shocked and concerned looking at the Uchiha boy almost not believing what he was hearing. Tsunade paused some seconds and started to talk again._

"_He was dehydrated and starved. He showed a severe state of insomnia and extreme exhaustion and I presumed he walked a lot because his legs and especially his right foot show signs of it. In his condition he could have been barely strong enough to be standing in the rain without moving. But even if he was in a lot of pain and suffering he didn't care. I'm pretty sure he can feel pain but he's not able to express it. He has a slight fever and early signs of a cold caused by the rain. But we're taking care of him. Anyway I want to keep him under surveillance and guarded by some Anbu. But in my personal opinion he's not strong or available enough to try something big right now. He needs to rest and sleep. My principal concern now is how big the damage is in his brain and what could have affected. What functions? What chemical processes? We'll do more tests on him when he's better. Right now I only want to make him rest and sleep and eat something. Later I could try to talk to him but I have a bad feeling about that."_

"_You think he won't answer."_

_Tsunade nodded at Kakashi and before going back to her businesses as the Fifth Hokage she asked them another important matter related to their discussion._

"_What about Sakura and Miyu? Did you find them?"_

"_Yes. Kakashi found them. They're at Ino's house. We didn't know if we should tell Sakura about him. But sooner or later she will find out."_

_Tsunade nodded thoughtfully. Kakashi stared at the Hokage worried._

"_It seems she left her home after some kind of discussion with her parents. I don't think she wants to see them in some time. I know her. So I think you are the best option to tell her about it. She needs to know that he has returned."_

"_Alright. I will settle some things I have and then I will go and see and talk to her about it."_

_Before the three of them parted separate ways, Tsunade at her office and responsibilities, Gai at some personal business and Kakashi at the room in front of him, Gai asked something curious and seriously._

"_Why did he return to Konoha anyway? He wants to see Sakura and Miyu?"_

_But no one of them could give a straight answer to that. _

* * *

And they couldn't give it now either.

Well Sakura had known before talking to Tsunade and that was unexpected.

He had spent all night at his side watching him as a guardian specifically but deeper he was there too as an old mentor and friend. He understood Naruto's ambivalent feelings towards him. The blond boy felt angry and frustrated but happy and relieved too. How you must feel about a former teammate and friend and at the same time a supposed enemy and traitor? He couldn't say he understood Sakura's pain because it was a different situation. But he could try anyway. And maybe he could be lucky about it.

It took long hours and stronger medicines to put Sasuke to sleep. Kakashi noticed that it wasn't that he suffered of insomnia. It was Sasuke himself who didn't want to sleep. Being there with him, watching him in that awful and empty silence made him pretty sad. He feared that he was right in telling Tsunade that Sasuke probably would not answer at her questions.

He wondered if Sasuke was fully conscious of his situation and reality. Did he know where he was? Did he go looking for Sakura and his baby? Did he know that Kakashi was there watching over him?

The only straight and positive answer to that last question was a brief moment before sunrise when Sasuke had opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling again barely blinking. Then he slowly had turned his blurry gaze at Kakashi who was sitting besides his bed reading his novel and stayed still and quiet looking at his former master with his almost same deep intensity in his black eyes. Kakashi had left his reading and just confront his glaring calmly. He had hoped to Sasuke to react as he knew him and start talking in his cold and serious tone.

But he knew he was expecting too much.

The boy just looked at him for some seconds and then he had closed his eyes again and went on sleeping mostly by the effects of the medicines. That had happened the night before. And now Kakashi was again sitting at a side of his bed watching him sleeping with his head bandaged and new clothes.

And he knew again that he was expecting too much from him in that state.

* * *


	8. Deciding

**Chapter 8**

**Deciding**

_Sakura POV_

The next morning I woke up with the decision of going to the hospital to see how he was. I had spent the last afternoon still shaken and crying remembering him going through that window because of me. Ino, Hinata and Naruto tried to calm me and accompanied me till I was strong enough again to stop crying and think clearly about the situation.

The truth was that I didn't think he would come back and less so sooner. Did I want him to come back? Mostly I didn't. For all the reasons I had justified myself while I was fighting him back and sitting in that bed consternated at his fall. But a little part of me did want to see him again and I cannot lie to myself.

But like I said, I had came to a decision since all of this began, since I slept with him the first time and he declared his true feelings and thoughts about me and my daughter. I had promised myself that I would not let him come near me and Miyu and much less I would not let him torment me anymore with his behavior. I would not let him hurt me anymore and make me believe in something that it will never be true.

He had hurt me deeply and had shaken so badly my love that I had become to grow a grudge and a hate, maybe fragile but still hate, inside my heart and soul. I was trying to build up my life and my little girl's life and he had no right in showing up just like that to disturb us. He had renounced to his rights over Miyu since he said she wasn't his. And I had sworn to myself to not forget that.

I was angry at him for disturbing my plans and the peaceful and happy life I wanted to start. Why he didn't show up sooner when I had needed him the most? When I had to tell everyone that I was pregnant with his child. When I almost died in childbirth. When Miyu fought so hard to stay alive. In fact he had complicated all that with his mere and unexpected presence. I felt sad; yes and probably I will always felt sad when I think in him. And yes I will probably love him till I die. But I was trying to move on and go on and I wouldn't let him to paralyze me in my attempt, much less now that I have Miyu as my principal reason and motive to look for a good and calm future.

I still felt miserable and confused, sad and angry, shocked and ashamed of what I did to him. I didn't want him hurt or dead and that was the truth. I just wanted him away from me and from my baby girl and not meddling with us appearing and disappearing when he wanted.

I love him and nothing will change that.

But I cannot let this incommensurable and hurtful love to win over me now with everything that had happened and the big change and beautiful path I have before me. So after all night thinking lying in bed with Miyu sleeping peacefully, I calmed down and think clearly and with a cold head in everything.

I was still terrified and scared at the unknown future ahead of me but I was going to be strong and confront it. I had people who would be there for me to help and I was so grateful for that. I felt so grateful to them. I wasn't alone. Not even without my parents' support. But still it made me cry a little and got sad all that had happened concerning him. I had liked the things to turn out better. But that wasn't the reality and I have to accept it to free myself from his grasp.

I knew I would confront him again if it was necessary especially if it was related to Miyu. I would not let him see her again and closely. He didn't want her in the first place. I would not be or try to be interested in his matters and his life anymore, even being secretly and worried for his well-being.

I had to move on for my own mental health. For my little baby. I will not plea again at him. I just wanted to believe he wasn't there even being there in Konoha and I didn't want to see him again. I didn't want to end up crushed at his presence, hoping, believing, and waiting. I didn't want pain and suffering anymore.

When early in the morning Ino explained me how his condition was I felt crushed with shocking concern and terrible pain. They didn't want to tell me the day before because I was still so shocked at the incident and meeting him again after months. But now with our heads rested and clear my blond friend explained to me about his health and situation at the hospital.

I cried even without my permission when I heard.

I would not cry again for him. That's what I told myself earlier this morning.

But what Ino said made my eyes to fill with sincere, loving and worried tears. I tried to stay calm and collected, listening at her and her medical explanation. I was a medical ninja too so I understand perfectly and quickly. But that didn't stop my helpless crying and my worrying.

My heart was broken, if it had still some big pieces to break anyway, and I cried thinking in her words and picturing him lying in that bed. I didn't want that for him. Not even after what he had done to me, after all the pain and suffering and ambivalent feelings and thoughts he brought out of me. I didn't want him to end like that. Just away from me.

I cried openly and honestly burning in pain and desolation but deep inside I felt somehow angry and I didn't understand it at first. My decision hadn't changed even knowing about his strange condition and I will go on with it even with my soul crying silently for him. I told myself that this hadn't changed at all anything I had decided and felt. I felt despair and extreme sadness hearing the news and I let my body to tremble with my sorrow and tears and I wished, really wished from the bottom of my heart, for his recuperation. But that was all, I told myself.

And I kept thinking why I felt anger and why I didn't change my decision. I wondered why I didn't get up and run to the hospital at his side crying and worrying and feeling the oppression that was inside my chest making my breathing uneven and hard. Why? I still love him beyond anything, with all my being and I wished to be at his side taking care of him and just loving him and I felt like I couldn't breathe or think for long minutes. But I was angry and I didn't feel or believe that his condition, his sickness, was going to change anything concerning us.

I finally had my answer when I entered at his white room a couple of hours later.

I had accepted his returning and presence in Konoha after all the events yesterday. I had time to come to my senses and chose my life without a man who wasn't there since the beginning and would never be. I had passed the overwhelming turmoil of emotions after meeting him again at the hospital. I was stronger than before. I had my life in clear. So I decided to go and see him and put everything clear between the two. Even if he couldn't understand me in everything or he couldn't say a single word. I needed it. I needed him to listen to me. I needed to apologize for pushing and hurting him badly enough to put him unconscious for a while. I needed to tell him how much he had hurt me and I had needed him and he had left me alone. He had abandoned his daughter.

I left Miyu with Ino and went to the hospital with Hinata. Ino called her to go with me and I thought that maybe all of them were worried enough to think that I could try to hurt or kill him with a pillow. I laughed sadly at my joke and sense of humor at the moment. I was before the "bad girl" and now I was an "assassin". I laughed to myself feeling broken and with and empty hole inside my chest sucking my life and force.

When I finally entered at his room Tsunade was there checking him up. I stayed at the door with Hinata at my side in silence seeing him longingly and sadly, stunned at his state and hardly breathing and slightly trembling affected to the core. Tears filled my eyes but I controlled myself. I understood his strange behavior yesterday when I was screaming at him to go away. Tsunade looked at us and smiling softly left the room leaving me in that silent and white room with an understanding friend sharing with me that moment.

I walked slowly to him and got mesmerized by all the details I remember of him like I knew him just like I knew me. Memories of our moments together making love filled my head and heart and made me to breathe deeper and be crushed with immense pain and overwhelming sorrow. I blinked several times trying to erase my tears. I got closer and looked contemplative and lovingly at his presence lying quietly and still there. And when I saw that he was watching me back, with his cold eyes and indifferent face, I knew it.

I knew what the answer of my questions was.

Gazing at him in silence, confronting his empty and distant glare but at the same time his deep and intense look focused in me I knew it.

And I felt the anger again. And I understand myself that early morning when Ino was talking to me. And I knew that nothing will ever change between him and me, nothing in him. Because even in his state, in that sad condition, in that weird illness, I could still understand him and find the answers in his eyes. My decision hadn't changed at all. Not even seeing him like that. It didn't matter if he was like this. If he had changed what I want him to change in himself it wouldn't had mattered his condition to me. But that was not the case. I still don't have what I wanted from him. I'm not still enough to him to erase his despair and hate and darkness. I will never be his hope or cure.

That was why I was sure about what I was going to say to him. And so I started to talk calmly and collected, with my green eyes on him refilling my memories of him, hoping to be the last time to see him with this feeling making me feel so alive.

"I want you to know that this is the last time I would do this. First at all I want to apologize for hurting you so badly yesterday. I was very surprised and hurt for your sudden appearance. I was scared of you. I thought you had came to take Miyu away from me. By the way, that's her name. My daughter's name."

I paused looking directly at him with my crystal eyes serious and honest. Could he see the suffering and pain behind my stare? Could he see my grudge and hate trying to eclipse my love for him in my decided expression?

"I was so angry at you for what happened. For what you said that night. I had other problems to deal too and everything got the best of me and then you were there. I meant all I said to you. I can keep saying it to you now. But I apologize for turning violent. It was never my intention to hurt you seriously. I just wanted you to go away from me. I didn't want you near me or my little girl. I'm sorry for pushing you through that window."

I made another pause expecting a change in his face. But he was still fixed at me with his dark eyes glazing and for a moment I could feel that I was talking with the Sasuke I had known before.

"Like I said first, this is the last time I would do this. I'm sorry for what happened to you. You know very well my feelings for you. You know how much I…"

I paused clearing my throat at my sudden intent of sobbing. I blinked and felt tears running through my face. I wanted to hold him and tell him everything was going to be fine. I wanted to cry in his arms and forget everything. But I couldn't. My suffering was too immense and deep.

"You know. I showed it to you in so many ways and it was useless. But not anymore. Not anymore Sasuke. I'm not alone now and I cannot think just in myself. I cannot go on in this endless play we had been playing, running in circles. I cannot anymore. I tried to help you and made you see how much I cared and how much I loved you. I made love with you because I wanted it, because I loved you. Maybe it wasn't the correct thing to do but that's the past and what I have now from that is the reason of my life and my hope of a better future and a peaceful life. Thank you for her. I'm grateful to you for her."

I was openly crying calmly now. A small smile had popped up in my face when I talked about Miyu.

"You gave me the best gift I could have. For that I'm grateful. She will give me in another way what you cannot and will never give me. What I never got from you. But I'm tired about all this Sasuke. I'm tired of hoping and expect something that I know very well I would never receive. I cannot still be waiting for you and believing in something that doesn't exist. I cannot keep loving you because it hurts me a lot!"

I started crying desperately but controlled myself again in seconds and continued talking at him, who just was still staring distant and cold.

"I cannot… I cannot hope and wait anymore for you. Loving you is tearing me from inside and it's killing me… I have accepted the reality, I have accepted the truth. I will never have your love and I will never have you. I can't be just an "arrange" to you when you want or a "release or fun". Loving you doesn't make me your tool or toy. I let you to see me like that and that's my fault. But now it has ended. I cannot live with you fearing every damn day that you would leave me and her without an explanation or goodbye. I can't live with the fear of the darkness that lives still within you without having the weapons to help you and your disposition to let me do it. It's not fair. We don't deserve that. I can't be the woman who would stay just waiting for you to come back one day. I can't be the one who would give all the love and the care and the heart in the relationship. I cannot do it anymore. I can't lie more to myself dreaming with you and your love. I thought that my love would be enough for the both of us; I thought you would eventually see me as a woman and you would start to love me even little by little. If I had a clue I could still wait for you but I had accepted you would never felt something like that for me and probably for anyone else. And I know very well that you will go again and again."

I dried my tears with the back of my right hand still staring seriously at him.

"It's too much suffering and pain and I'm sick and tired of it. I have reached my limits. And what it worst is that I'm so angry and I'm hating you for what you did or more precisely, you didn't do about her. I cannot forget what you said that night and every time I remember it I felt the fury consuming me. I don't want to live so buried in my grudge! I can't forget you didn't want anything with Miyu. Even if you didn't love me she was yours and you didn't care. I cannot forget that! I can't forget you weren't there when she was growing inside of me and I cannot forget how I missed you and wanted you to be with me when I was alone confronting everything! Yes! It was my fault too but I needed you there with me and you left me! You went away just like that! I wanted you to be there when I felt her first kick! I needed you when I was in labor and almost die! Instead of help and support your presence affected me so much that I went into labor two months before the right time! Miyu could have die because of it! And yes it's my fault too but I needed you!"

I furrowed my brow crying calmly and infuriated at him.

"I wanted you there! I wasn't even thinking in having you as a husband or boyfriend! Just there! I wanted you to help to choose her name! But you decided to not be her father and it's alright to me then. She's my daughter and no one else's. You didn't want anything with her since her conception and then you won't have anything with her ever. I don't want to raise a girl that would suffer the same as me, waiting for his dad. Every time I see her I remember what you thought about her when I told you I was pregnant and I cannot forget that. I won't let you see her or meet her. I'll see how I will handle her future. But for now I forbid you to come closer to her. I won't let you take her or harm her. Are you listening Sasuke?"

He seemed to be listening even in his silence and stillness. I was so exhausted and shaken letting my feelings and thoughts out that I could almost felt like I was near a collapse.

"You don't have the right to come back here whenever you like and disturb my life. Stop it now. Do you know what I'm angry at you now? Because you returned like this. I know it's not your fault. But I felt angry knowing that you have returned to Konoha and to me only because you are like this. Only when you felt the necessity, when you felt lonely or hurt. It's not fair Sasuke. You break me looking like this but I won't go back in my decision. I'm not anymore in your list of places to go when everything sucks. From the bottom of my heart I wish your recovery. I wish you to heal. I know Tsunade will help you and I wish you to finally understand that this is your home after all and that you have friends and people who care about you and don't make the mistake you had done with me and Miyu. I love you. But sometimes love isn't enough and this is one of that times. I want you away from me because it's hurting me loving you. Please don't look for me even if we are in the same village. Pretend I don't exist; pretend we didn't have a child. That was what you were doing till now. I'm not asking anything of you now. I won't chase you trying to make you to act as a father. I thought you would be a good dad because you knew and treasured family above all. I guess I was mistaken. I hope I'm not. But I can't wait for you. I won't bother you anymore and I won't try to meddle in your life. I don't want to really hate you more that I'm doing it now. Please stop hurting me. I free you from my annoying presence. Free me from your cold existence."

I sobbed calmer and with tears running through my already wet cheeks. I got closer to the bed and bowed my head till my lips touched his bandaged forehead making me felt guilty with a sweet kiss and I closed my eyes for a minute. For seconds I thought I saw him moving his right hand. Later I kissed his lips softly and lovingly remembering the passion and surrendering we had shared in that two times together.

"I wish you to get better. But if you try to look and get near Miyu I will attack you again. Just remember you gave me that right. I don't know, in fact no one knows what your true intentions are. I don't know if you are an enemy, a traitor. I don't know anything and I can only mistrust you even if it's breaking my heart. Don't scare me please. And stay away from me. I'm begging you."

I half smiled sadly and let my fingers to caress his hair and face for minutes until I turned my back on him, like he had done many times before at me, and before going out the room with a silent and sobbing Hinata at my side, I turned my gaze at him and smiling sincerely and broken I said my last words to him, at least expecting them to be in a long time.

"Goodbye, Sasuke-Kun."

I went later on my plans. I didn't let myself to think in what I had done and kept myself busy all day planning my new life. I found a new home in a small department near Ino's house with a cheap rent. I got a job in a clinic smaller than the hospital and I started a life where I didn't picture the boy I had left behind. I knew that even with my firm intention of not seeing him again I will do it at least from far if he stayed in Konoha. That was fine with me.

Because even believing and wanting my new path and accepting all I had said to him I still needed for a while knowing he was there somehow. Not for me but just there, existing. I knew many could think badly of me to leave him finally in his sickness but I couldn't go on living with him just because of that. He wasn't alone. And after all I never meant anything special to him so he was going to be fine and I hoped to be like that.

I love him. I will always do. But sometimes love isn't enough and more precisely if it is a one-sided love. I had understood that at the end with a lot of suffering, tears and pain.


	9. Bleeding

**Chapter 9**

**Bleeding**

_Hinata__ POV_

Tsunade did start a treatment trying to heal Sasuke and understand more of his condition. He stayed in the hospital a week after Sakura's visit. I told the others generally what had happened that day and we decided to stop talking about him when we were with her. She needed time, space and freedom and was busy building up her life alone. We thought Sasuke needed it too.

Naruto-Kun was so sad when I explained the situation. We never thought that Sakura would retire so soon. But like she had said she had reached her limits and was very hurt now. She avoided her visits to the main hospital and we follow her lead in not saying a word about Sasuke around her. Not matter how urgent or hard was. But I agreed with Naruto-Kun in keeping contact and being there for him. He was so lonely in his inner world. And I knew somehow that Sakura's speech had touched him deeply even without an evident clue or expression from him.

After all for Naruto-Kun he was like a brother, he was his friend against all odds. Maybe the others could say or decide something else but he couldn't do it. He had said that if he left him alone, what was going to be of him? Sasuke was his friend like Sakura was. And Sakura had given his understanding that day saying to Sasuke to value the persons that cared for him. And I, who was in love with Naruto-Kun as Sakura was with Sasuke since little, accepted to be there for the both of them. The others agreed to keep his caring with the broken couple. The two were friends too of all of us. We were sad with all that had happened with the both and we felt glad of having him again in Konoha with us.

The political situation of Sasuke was handled by Tsunade-Sensei and Kakashi-Sensei. The two declared responsible for him and his staying in Konoha without any kind of trial. I don't know exactly all of that. I just knew like Naruto-Kun and my other ninja friends that they won't judge him or punish him in his actual condition. I think they feared something related with his clan.

The effect Sakura and her speech had on Sasuke was slightly notorious. Because he couldn't show any sort of expression or emotion now it was difficult to see it. Sasuke never was a person who showed easily his feelings anyway. But I was there when it happened and I noticed. He barely ate that week. Sometimes when Naruto left the room looking for food and drinks for us I saw a spark of intense emotion but I couldn't figure out what emotion was. I started to notice that he blinked more in certain occasions even when we couldn't find out what caused that slight change in him. He barely blinked almost all the time and kept his gazing distant and still like his own body.

I talked with Naruto-Kun, the Hokage and Kakashi-Sensei about it. At least that was some kind of communication with him. His conditions didn't changed a lot or improved even with the wise Hokage's methods. Finally she said that she had discovered that everything was working slowly in his system and they would have to wait to see results. But I knew like her that Sasuke wasn't going to be completely healed. He was too damaged by the strange sickness to heal properly and Ino and I discussed one time this with Shikamaru. And the worst part was that he was damaged emotionally too and that was more difficult to handle and cure. Tsunade couldn't still figure out what was happening inside his head. But she accepted to let him out of the hospital and start a life in Konoha giving him space and time to process his treatment.

Kakashi-Sensei took him to his new home. We all helped to clean and left the space prepared. Something strange was that Sasuke seemed capable of taking care of himself like always. Naruto-Kun only had to put on a list reminding him to do his habitual activities. Because you know, if he didn't remember it probably he would not eat or sleep. Sasuke always appreciated his solitude and space and we tried to give him that after discussing the benefits of letting him by himself. Kakashi-Sensei always made time to go to see him when he wasn't busy with training and missions and we all took turns and did it too.

Sasuke in fact were always still and distant like he was in the hospital's room. But somehow we got the feeling that he was aware even slightly of his surrounding but he simply didn't show interest in it. Sometimes he watched us when we were talking with him or among us but his look was disinterested and tired. When he was alone we had seen and caught him just staring into space thoughtful. He even became a clone of Shikamaru imitating him simply at looking the sky and the floating clouds. But he seemed to prefer the night and the moon and stars. He just could stay all day and night observing around with coldness if we let him do it. The most mysterious thing was the fact that he didn't talk ever. Tsunade said that it wasn't any physical problem in him causing his persistent silence. She believed his mute state was more psychological than mental or physical and soon we decided to leave him in his silence the time he needed it. But Naruto and we too sometimes lost our patience without knowing really why he had gone speechless suddenly and we were concerned at this. Deeply concerned.

And for some days he seemed fine even being like that and going with the flow of the life. Even in his distance and silence, in his stillness. Until one day something horrible happened and we received our first warning about his real state of mind and health.

It has passed two months since Sasuke left the hospital and Sakura disappeared from his life even living in the same village. Rumors were in full mood and we all dismissed them caring for our two friends. Naruto-Kun that day said happy and sadly at the same time that Miyu was six months old. Ino, Shikamaru, Naruto-Kun and I decided to bring dinner to Sasuke's small house like other times Shino, Chouji and Kiba had done, or Tenten, Lee and Neji too. I remember that afternoon and I still could feel it like yesterday. I know Naruto-Kun still saddens at it.

* * *

_Hinata POV_

_Naruto-Kun opened the door with a copy of the key from Sasuke's house (in fact it was more like an apartment near Naruto's one). We all we're talking and joking while Shikamaru and Ino brought in plastic bags the dinner consisting in ramen and chicken. We were laughing when we entered and saw that the lights were out._

_"Sasuke we're here! It's dinner time! We brought delicious and hot ramen!"_

_Shikamaru and Ino put the bags with food on the table and started to prepare everything. I opened the fridge's door looking for ice. Naruto lighted up the kitchen and the living room but we didn't hear Sasuke or see him. Still we didn't panic. He used to take more time to do things and acted slower than any of us or any person. Naruto finally got tired of waiting for him and laughing went looking for him at his room. Minutes later the three of us heard him screaming._

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

_I was happy that day. Miyu had six months already and was getting prettier and smarter and bigger. I had visited her and Sakura-Chan at noon. She said she wanted to ask me and Ino to be her godparents. She was smiling and seemed pretty fine but somehow I knew she was pretending. _

_It was strange that Sasuke knew exactly when Miyu had another month old. I noticed like Hinata that morning when we visited him and saw him more distant and thoughtful than usual. We discovered before because when his baby reached five months and Chouji without intention said it in front of him, Sasuke had slightly flinched and lowered his head with a strange spark in his tired eyes. Hinata and I saw the same that morning again. We still couldn't understand if he really didn't care a bit about her and Sakura or if he was pretending for some unknown reason. I hope for the last._

_Sometimes we saw that he did care or thought we saw it when without noticing one of us mentioned her name with a happy voice. Other times he was like a statue of ice and he didn't put attention not even to us and he was just glazing seriously and almost sulking for seconds at our company. The worst times was when the sulking and brooding was so deep in his still face and he was intentionally glaring at us like if we were some kind of experiment that he couldn't understand. But those little times were nothing compared to his almost catatonic state. That's why I learned to appreciate those fewer moments with all._

_I called his name over and over growing impatient. I was hungry. When I reached his room and entered I saw only darkness. I lighted up the lamps sighing tiredly._

"_Why do you like the darkness so much Sasuke? Ahh..."_

_And in that moment I knew something was wrong. I can smell the metallic smell in the air. A known smell. And when I turned at the bed I saw him sitting on the floor with the back at me and the door, looking at the closet in front of him. I saw first the red liquid in the floor and then the knife beside his right arm. _

_And his right arm like the left one had big and deep cuts in their forearms and wrists and he was still bleeding so much and was just sitting there without moving with his eyes blinking more than usual. I run to him screaming (I cannot remember what I screamed) and knelt in front of him trying to gain his distant attention at me shaking him by his stiff shoulders._

"_SASUKE!! WHAT DID YOU DO??"_

_I felt like crying from the impact. He just stared confusedly at me paler than usual. I cried in fact. I just remembered how much I had tried to bring my friend, my brother back and now I almost could loose him again. That hurt me a lot and stroke me like a thunder. I held him strongly sobbing and rubbing his back and he didn't deny me or tried to hug me back. It didn't matter to me. I took his right arm and examined it but I didn't know a lot of medicine and just tore my jacket and try to control the deep and big cuts and the blood flowing._

* * *

_Ino__ POV_

_We saw Naruto holding Sasuke paralyzed at the door. We understood immediately what had happened. He then try to stop the bleeding but I, being a medical ninja or trying to be, reacted first than Shikamaru or Hinata and went to their side taking control of the situation quickly. I did the same that Naruto had done with his other hurt arm and try to figure out how much he had been like that. How much blood he had lost already? _

_The blood was in a pool around him. It was in his clothes and Naruto's. I calmed myself and ordered Naruto and Shikamaru to stand him up. We needed to take him to the hospital right away. When you knew about medicine is easier when you're treating a stranger than a known person and this wasn't the case. The two obeyed me quickly and we left the apartment with a conscious and very freakily calm Sasuke._

_There in the hospital Tsunade-Sensei attended him immediately with my help. It was creepier to see that he didn't show any kind of pain from his bleeding cuts and he never lost consciousness. He just stayed looking at the room and a point away from us totally still and stoic. He barely blinked._

_When he was resting and Tsunade-Sensei declared to let him stay all night in observation I could finally breathe. He started to fall sleep after receiving medicine and the four of us stayed in the waiting room still shocked by the success. He wasn't in deep danger and he would recover. But I had my mind fixed at that room and the blood in the floor. We were ninjas and we got hurt a lot of times. Ones worst than others. But this was different to all of us. _

* * *

_S__hikamaru POV_

_I knew Sasuke didn't want to kill himself in fact._

_I knew it when Kakashi discussed it with Tsunade and us after they left him sleeping peacefully in his room. Ironically it was the same room he had been before. When I knew this fact it bothered me._

_How troublesome._

_It made me think. Sasuke was an amazing ninja and knew exactly how to kill someone and therefore kill himself if it was needed. The way he had hurt himself wasn't directed to end his life. Sure he had cut very badly and deeply his arms and wrists but he knew that wouldn't kill him particularly, not even at the loss of blood. I thought that if he in fact wanted to commit suicide he would do it with an act that could end his existence quickly. Everyone could think that he was trying to gain attention but that wasn't the case either. He was Sasuke Uchiha after all. So when I heard Tsunade and Kakashi talking about it I understand finally my hunch._

"_The cuts had forms? They weren't just cuts?"_

_Tsunade nodded seriously at the shocked Naruto. I had my mind analyzing this fact. _

"_Yes. They are very unspecific in fact. He couldn't give them a particular form that we could understand. But we are pretty sure that they were some kind of symbols or more precisely, he wanted to draw his skin and body with them but he was unable to give them the proper shape and therefore significance. That's maybe why he stopped. He didn't feel the pain but maybe the dizziness and weakness of losing blood stopped him."_

_Kakashi-Sensei looked meditating at the Hokage._

"_Do you know the purpose of the signals?"_

"_I had an idea about it. I think they were intended to be some sort of seals. At least there's a little clue guiding this meaning."_

"_Seals? Why seals?"_

_Hinata asked curiously and worried. But I answered before any of the Sensei could say anything._

"_Because he wanted to seal something. He wanted to seal something inside his body or mind. That's why I would do this kind of thing. It's like being tattooed in some special way to attain different purposes like growing power or protection or even sealing. We had seen it in use in other ninjas and even enemies. Remember Orochimaru? That nauseous thing liked the drawing in the body."_

_I couldn't help to shudder remembering that nasty snake. How troublesome to even mention him. I shuddered disgusted._

"_That it's what I think too Shikamaru. My only question now is if there's some kind of terrible power in him that he wants to get rid off."_

"_So you think he's very aware of everything and there's only damage in his physical body? He's not damaged at an emotional or spiritual level?"_

"_I don't know Kakashi. We couldn't get a clue if there's something more causing his state. The physical damage is there in some weird way. But I'm starting to ponder if he's really damaged at a spiritual level. Emotionally he could be just affected by all that happened. We still need to test him more but later. We need to let time to pass some more. But I honestly don't know what to think and personally I would prefer him to be only hurt physically but even without evidence still... I believe there's something more. I'm worried for not knowing who did this to him. Our investigations hadn't brought an answer yet."_

_We nodded at Tsunade. Finally after some minutes of silence and thoughts in all of us she said goodbye and went away. Kakashi said that maybe it wasn't a good idea to let Sasuke living alone. He suggested sadly letting him in a special care with some experimented people. Naruto said immediately no and that he would take him to his apartment. Hinata offered to help him to watch Sasuke and Ino and I too. We were his friends even after all and I know that with our help and organization we could have an eye on him to prevent events like this again or discover what what's happening with him in reality._

_So the next morning he was out of the hospital still weak but fine at least and Naruto and Hinata took him and his things to Uzumaki's house. I laughed at the imaginary reaction of the former Sasuke living with him. Naruto was a complete disaster and kept his house like a pigsty and Sasuke was the opposite. How ironic and troublesome. _

_Will Sasuke finally speak and react at living some days with Naruto? All of us made a beat on that._

* * *

_Sakura POV_

I was surprised when I saw my mother at the door. Weeks had passed and I had accepted that I had lost my parents after my sudden leaving that rainy night when he… returned.

She just stayed looking sadly and softly smiling sweet at me. In that moment I knew that even after accepting the fact of losing her support and love I had missed her so much, and I miss her still, I was hoping and desiring to see her again in front of me and looking at me as she always did when I was still her daughter. My eyes filled with tears but I controlled them and after awkward moments of silence and embarrassing from the both of us and barely keeping myself to not run to her arms and hold her screaming "mom" I let her into my new house nostalgic and sad, remembering how I had disappointed her at the point of her saying that she couldn't do anything more for me and that she wanted a second chance in my own daughter.

I was angry at first when I thought in that chat between dad and mom. I was sad and even I felt horrible thinking that I had done all wrong and I wasn't a worthy person. But all this days and my freedom had given me time to think in all. I couldn't be angry with her anymore after seeing her at my door trying to talk to me and act like my mother again. I couldn't be angry because I had done things that had disappointed her just like she had said things that had hurt me too. I didn't want to start a fight and lose her. I knew that it was possibly that I would never have my father's support and acceptance because he seemed more affected and hurt by me than her.

The first thing she asked me was where Miyu was and then I went at my little girl's room and picked her up. When she saw my baby her face lighted up immediately and she extended her arms to take her. I let her do it smiling kindly and then mom carrying my daughter looked guiltily at me with a small and tentative smile.

And I knew what she was doing her there. We sat at the table with a couple of cups of lemon tea and after minutes of silence she started to talk sincerely and softly.

"I'm proud of you Sakura. You're doing excellent by yourself. I'm amazed but I'm very proud and happy."

I didn't say anything back. She took it as an invitation to keep talking.

"I knew you and that's why I decided to let you alone for some time. We both needed time to clear our mind I guess. But I can't go on like this, without talking and caring for you, without supporting you and loving you. You're my daughter against anything and I miss you so bad that I had cried everytime I entered at your room in home. I know that what you heard that night hurt you a lot... I know I hurt you with my words. But I... I just came to tell you that I'm sorry Sakura, deeply sorry for what happened. I'm sorry for leaving you alone when you met him again and I'm sorry because I know I disappointed you. When Kakashi told us about what had happened in the hospital's gardens between you and him I finally understand that it was pointless and hurting being away from you not matter our feelings... Kakashi lectured us telling that we should have been there for you and instead we forced you to run away from home with a little baby in your arms."

She paused blinking and trying to not cry. I felt moved to the core and my eyes hurt at the controlled tears.

"It's true that I wanted a different life for you sweetie. I wanted you to live your life without hurrying up, enjoying it. I wanted you to meet boys and have boyfriends and later to see you marrying one good boy who would love you forever and will care for you. I wanted you to prepare your wedding, to see you dressed in white."

Sakura couldn't help to smile at her expression of happiness. That was her own dream too before. Her mother was looking at her kindly and talking sincerely with her open heart while Miyu just slept in her arms calmly.

"I agreed with your dad in that. I don't think Miyu is a mistake. I love her. It's just that everything happened in an unexpected way and it wasn't what I wanted for you. I didn't want to see you affected by the gossiping. I didn't want you to suffer. I know that you loved him deeply and truly and I calmed myself knowing that he didn't show something for you. I know it's horrible to say this to you. But I thought you were safe if he didn't felt something for you."

I had guessed this before so it didn't surprise me a lot. But hearing it from her lips hurt me and I let finally my tears to go streaming through my cheeks. She just stared at me worried and crying silently too.

"I know how much it hurts you to listen this. But I didn't want him for you because I knew he would never be what you wanted him to be. Your father thought that it was just an insignificant infatuation and that you one day would be over it. But I knew better. I know better. Forgive me Sakura for this feeling and wish. Please forgive me."

She extended her hand trying to reach mine and I took it without a doubt. I saw sincerity and love in her. She was my mother and I was a mother too. I could understand her and her feelings. Even if they were hurting me intensely.

"I would have wished with all my heart to see him in love deeply with you. But I knew. That's why I prefer to think that it was safer if he didn't felt anything for you. But I guess I was wrong. Now you have a daughter with him. A beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart like I love you. I apologize for leaving you alone and for disappointing you. I'm sorry for not talking to you directly about all you heard that night and driving you to misunderstood me. I felt a terrible mother when I saw all you were going through, I felt like I had failed you."

I clutched her hand in mine crying and listening.

"That's why I thought that I could not do anything more for you. I felt upset at myself for not being able to help you more. That's why I said that. And egoistically I thought that I could do it better with your daughter, I just wanted a second chance to do better and it was because I felt like a terrible mother. I was angry at you at first and I was upset and disappointed of my sixteen year old daughter who was going to be a mother soon. I was angry knowing that you knew that he didn't love you and still you had been in that way with him. I couldn't understand you at first but later I knew that you truly loved him. I don't feel like that night anymore. Your absence in home and the time and space had made me think in all. I don't want to lose my family and I don't want to be angry at you and away. So I am here to apologize to you and to tell you that I'm there and that I want to help you with Miyu and with money if you need it too. Forgive me for trying to steal Miyu from you and for scaring you with my egoistic desire. Let me help you please..."

She ended up crying openly and painfully and I got up and hugged her crying sadly too. I had wanted this moment in my heart since I had left home months ago. I had been so scared of thinking that she couldn't love me anymore or accept me with my decisions and way of life. I knew she was hurting and boiling in guiltiness. I could see it clearly in her tired eyes.

"Mom it's ok, please don't cry... I did things that hurt you too badly and it wasn't my intention... I'm so happy that you're here with me and Miyu... I just want to start over and forgive and forget what happened. I knew dad and you love me. That's why you acted that way. And I had time and space too to think in all. I don't need to forgive you mom, I felt happy since I saw you at the door! So it's ok mom and I'm so happy that I can count on you again!"

I hugged tightly her and we kept crying and crying together without saying anything else. I had wanted her embrace and support so bad especially after my goodbye to Sasuke-Kun. I let out all my painful feelings and suffering originated from all that had happened since I left home and she comforted me sweetly in her arms just listening me crying out all my hurt and sadness.

We were like that for long minutes. Just crying and hugging and later laughing at our state. When we were calmer I asked her about dad and she told me sadly that he kept thinking the same. I just nodded with melancholy remembering him and she kindly caressed my hair like when I was little trying to cheer me up. I had to accept at her insistent effort to accept her money. She said that it was for Miyu's behalf and care.

I told her about my meeting with Sasuke-Kun at the hospital and what I did to him without trying to enter in details because I knew that it still affected me so much and I didn't want to cry anymore or feel devastated at the memory of him lying in that bed. She just listened me silently and understanding trying to not be obvious at my visible pain. She knew what I was doing. I was trying to be strong. After drinking of her fifth cup of coffee she looked at me sincerely concerned and loving.

"Sakura you love him even with your goodbye. There's not point in denying that. You will always love him not matter what. You will always want to be at his side not matter what. You love him sweetie. That's all the truth without anything else."

Her words got me bare naked at my heart of hearts. She just smiled sadly at me and said that she would put Miyu in her room and check it out to see if my little girl needed something else.

I was left in the kitchen with my burning thoughts and deep feelings. I had known from time ago that I was suffering horribly and more deeply with my attempt to let him go. I had to contain myself in my desperate and painful attempts to go near him again and just see him and being with him and loving him even without having his love back.

There were times when I felt so bad and sad, so crushed and filled with my undying love that I ended up crying madly and angry alone, screaming at my weak soul and my unforgotten heart with my mind showing me him in every corner I turned my eyes on.

I was tearing and killing myself with this forced attempt to be away from him and move on and go on living without him in my life. He was so close to me and I was trying frustrated to keep myself far away from his presence. Before I went nuts because he wasn't in Konoha with me, with us. And now he was there and I was the one running away from him. How ironic and sad.

A little voice inside me told me that I had done more damage saying goodbye to him at last. More damage to me because I was so depressed and desperately trying to pretend and believe my pretending when my heart shouted at me that I was just lying!

But a part of me remembered me why I had taken that decision that was destroying me in my silence and pretense at everything and everyone. That part kept me away when I reached the limits of his presence and paralyzed me when I saw him from far away with my friends or Kakashi-Sensei. How many times I went to Naruto's building pretending to only be walking, to see Sasuke-Kun only for seconds? How many times I glanced at him and felt the urgency and intensity of running to his side to hug him and not let him go and stay forever with him, taking care of him, just loving him?

How I had to help myself when I heard about his supposed attempt of suicide? How I stunned myself in my place crying and dying inside and trembling at the dread of his unexpected death? How I controlled myself and my tears while I was hurting and suffering knowing what he had done to himself? I had found myself running to the hospital, to his room and I had to do a strong stop to see what I was doing. And it was so strong that I almost trip and fall and hurt my feet at the same time. Breathing heavily and crying confused and with the truth at my face I had to step back and went home.

I wanted so bad to go at his side! I wanted so bad to forget my decision and just love him without expecting anything, expecting everything from him, hoping against hope! I could love him like I had been doing since I was a little girl and I could find happiness, truly happiness in just staying with him and sharing my immense love with him for the both of us.

But I knew better. And I let the logical and cold part of my brain and my spirit, my soul and heart to control me and remind me the reasons that I had considered to let him go and free him from me.

I convinced myself to believe, truly believe, in my reasons and that it was for the best.

And I succeed. After repeating myself over and over that I had done right I dried my wet face and cleared my throat and started to pick up the cups from the table. I have to live day by day to get over this overwhelming desperation and love. I have to focus myself to keep my decision in mind.

Even when a part of me dies every time I force myself to go away from him. He had cut his skin and let his blood out without a known reason. I had cut my heart and I kept bleeding till this day.


	10. Running

**Chapter 10**

**Running**

_Temari POV_

How troublesome.

This is what Shikamaru would say in this situation.

She never thought in meeting him here. She was in the middle of the forest surrounding Konoha at midnight. Alone. And he was very far away from his homeland. Alone too.

She had traveled from Suna all by herself. Even when their two brothers had protested about letting her go alone in her trip she had dismissed their concern and feeling proud of being a powerful ninja, even when her two brothers seemed to forget that easily. They weren't so thrilled at first and even her middle brother had tried to send someone behind her to watch over her but she noticed immediately. How naïve of him! Did they forget who she was? Geez… but well it was the thing that you usually expect when you have two brothers. Anyway she didn't want them to send ninjas to babysit her or spy on her to tell them who she visited especially in Konoha.

Did she meddle in their life?

Of course she did! And she had all the right being the oldest! In fact she couldn't meddle with their life because they didn't have anything to meddle anyway and that made her laugh in a joking way. Oh her dear brothers. At least her little brother seemed to have more confidence and faith in her and decided to let her do what she wanted. At least it was easier for him instead of having an angered and annoying sister complaining. She laughed remembering the annoyed face of his red head brother. She always ended with the upper hand by the way.

It was the government of Suna's idea to go and make a short visit to Konoha and give some papers from the Kazekage to the Hokage in person. She would be away only a few days and the two were doing a mess just because she had decided to go alone. She sighed while she was running through the forest thinking fondly and caring in them. She had advanced a lot and that was one of the advantages when you travel alone. But she was tired now and stopped to look for a perfect spot to rest and eat and even sleep some hours. Because of the peace and the calm in the villages recently she hadn't to worry a lot about it. So when she stopped and stretched her tired body looking for a place to start a fire she suddenly heard footsteps at her right side. Someone was there walking behind the trees. The pace was heavy and slow.

She used her ninja training and got closer without making any kind of sound. After hiding behind a tree she watched looking for the one who was there being so careless to be heard like that. The one there didn't seem to care if someone could be spying on him and planning to attack and kill.

After long minutes of being in silence curious and annoyed by the way and hearing the footsteps and the wind dancing with the old and tall trees she saw him.

In the past she would not worry about it and she would only left him alone without bothering. He was an experimented and talented ninja. But she had been reading all that had been happening in Konoha thanks to Shikamaru's letters and knew better now. That's why she got interested and concerned at seeing him here.

The one pacing there was no other than Sasuke Uchiha.

She observed him in silence with her furrowed brow. She knew that he had left Konoha again about 3 months ago. Shikamaru had written to her that he thought that Sasuke was aware of his reality and if he had the enough strength to leave again even being under surveillance and their care, could meant that he wasn't so sick after all. They had kept and eye on him after he had tried to hurt himself months ago. And even with all that Sasuke had abandoned the village without anyone knowing, without explaining anything or saying goodbye.

He was still so damn cute and handsome. She laughed at herself after thinking that from someone younger than her but she couldn't help to find him hot. Anyway Shikamaru like herself had always thought and said that looking didn't hurt anyone. And she wasn't blind and was capable in appreciating some male's beautifulness. She let Shikamaru to behold other girls besides her.

She snapped out of her daze and jokes and when she regarded the situation she got pretty serious wondering what to do.

She saw him thoughtfully. She wasn't scared of him even after all that had happened concerning him. She was just startled of finding him here and completely alone. His clothes were somehow a little dirty and he didn't bring any kind of baggage with him. He wasn't armed either. He was just walking in some weird pattern of circles. He went walking to his left but he suddenly stopped and then turned to the right. He advanced again but something that it wasn't there made him to step back slowly and he simply stayed still and quiet in the middle of the forest. He had a lost look in his black eyes and was pale and tired and his breathing was uneven. He seemed pretty exhausted.

His arms weren't bandaged and she took the opportunity to watch the scars that his supposed attempt of suicide had left in his skin with interest. They had weird forms and were there in his wrists and forearms. The amazing thing to her was that he didn't have a clue about someone watching him intensely. Was he so sick that he couldn't felt her presence? When she saw him pacing again slowly and weakly she decided to show up. She left her hiding and walked carefully at him trying to not startle or scare him. He didn't seem to care if she was there or no. He simple kept walking or trying at least, because he suddenly stopped and seemed thoughtful and confused.

She got closer to the black-bluish haired boy and he finally took notice of someone being there besides him. He turned slowly at her and she only smiled widely gesturing her hands with a signal of peace. She said hello with courtesy of course. He only stared coldly and distant at her.

Temari then remembered weirdly and suddenly those days when she and Kankuro had to travel with Gaara and kept an eye on him. Why was she remembering this and now? When he didn't say a word (she knew that he had chosen to kept silent since months ago and nobody knew why or if it was something related to his mind or heart) she just looked concerned and curious at his still posture. She had a flashback of Gaara in those past days and smiled sadly. The one in front of her was unreachable like his little brother had been before.

And that saddened her.

At least this one seemed calm and not dangerous. Just lost and indifferent. She sighed trying to be kind and acted with courtesy and decided what to do about it. She knew that the former Uchiha could have hurt and even kill her. But she had learned to live in danger and with the death at her side after all that had happened with her family and she wasn't tense as maybe others could be. She was a strong and tough young woman and ninja. And after looking at his empty and stoic face she knew that she was able to handle this like she had handled worst things pretty soon in her young life.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"Do you know anything about him?"

Naruto looked surprised and worried at me. We were in my house's kitchen drinking lemon tea. I tried to sound calm and collected but I couldn't hide the horrible fear I felt. That's why I decided to keep my emerald eyes fixed in the liquid inside my cup.

"No… we hadn't… we don't know still where he is… or how is he. I have to say that I'm a little surprised to hear you asking for Sasuke, Sakura-Chan… we didn't want to talk about him around you… I don't know if we did well in doing it…"

He was looking concerning at me. I looked kindly at him.

"The fact that I don't want to see him or hear about him doesn't mean that I… don't worry about him… I know that all of you didn't talk about him around me and I'm very grateful for that… you respected my wishes… all of you. Not hearing about him in these 3 moths helped me to calm and move on… so I understand because you all did what I had asked you to do. I found peace and strength in this days without hearing from him."

I smiled trying to be kind and calm. But my friend knew me and I'm almost positive that he could see behind my charade that I was beyond sad. I was trying to be strong and be the same girl I was before even when Sasuke was here with us. Naruto could see my pretending and lying. But he was too kind to recognize this in front of me. And I was grateful at his silence about it.

"But now… you're asking about him Sakura-Chan… It's that ok to you?"

He was so worried about me. I nodded trying to not look at his blue gaze.

"Yes. I know that before you didn't tell me anything about him… even when he tried to commit suicide…"

"Sakura-Chan…"

He seemed guilty and was so serious. I half smiled sadly. When I had heard about that I went nuts in desperation and frustration. I was dying in my pain and suffering and I cried and cried alone feeling hurt and preoccupied for him. My Sasuke-Kun had tried to hurt himself seriously and nobody knew why. I had known of this because eventually my mother told me about it. I hadn't asked anything when I had heard that he was hospitalized again even when I had to contain myself to not run there and just look at him and be sure of his good state. When I knew of him trying to hurt or even kill himself I felt my heart being crushed with this immense and inevitable love but I calmed and controlled my deep and undying feelings and I didn't do anything to go and see him or ask for him. My friends had respected my wishes and I knew how worried they were for him. That was almost the first time that I lost my will power and when I saw that they were doing what I had asked them to do, not telling me anything about him, I found new strength and shivering faith in my decision.

Naruto just sighed angered and confused gesturing with his hands and fists to the air with desperation.

"But now... now he's gone again! I'm so angry and worried! I'm so frustrated! And he just keeps hurting you intentionally! He just keeps making you to suffer! That's unfair!! He had already broken your heart so many times Sakura-Chan... I'm still so mad with him for all that he had done to you and Miyu! I'm so damn angry!"

I listened at him with a moved expression. Naruto was glazing sincerely and caring at me. His blue eyes were so sad.

"But I had to ignore this fury and confusion I feel... How could I be still mopping in my anger and resentment if I have to live with him and stay seeing him like that? How could I?... But he went away again without a goodbye, without anything! I swear that when he's here again I would slap him for hurting you and for leaving like that! Only to let go of my anger and frustration!"

I took his hands in mine trying to comfort him and comfort me at the same time. I felt the tears in my eyes and I saw his. We kept silent just supporting the other with our company.

When I heard that Sasuke-Kun had run away from Konoha again 3 months ago I got pretty depressed and I had spent my free time worrying to death about him, wondering if he was ok and if he was alone. I felt dread picturing him hurt or death or being in danger or being danger itself to others. I tried to keep busy with my job and my house and my little girl but there were those inevitable and silent times like when I was lying in bed trying to sleep when I couldn't help to wonder about him. He had left again. I tried to assure my decision remembering how I had told him that he would do it eventually that time when I came to the hospital and talked with him for the last time. In that last goodbye. I had imagined that this would happen again. I had been right. But I couldn't find proud or relief in my premonitory words.

I was so damn worried and sad. I wanted to go and look for him. I was so deeply hurt understanding that maybe he had gone because there wasn't anything here in Konoha to him and he didn't care about anyone. Much less me or Miyu. He didn't care about how all we were so worried about him, how all of they looked for him in the villages next to Konoha, how all of us were concerned by his health and his well being. He seemed to not care a bit. He didn't care that I spent hours at night crying and praying for him. Should I have been surprised at this? Sadly I knew my answer.

"I felt like... betraying one with the other Sakura-Chan... you know."

Naruto said suddenly calmer and sad. He was looking guiltily at me.

"Because of what I did... taking him to my house... and all that..."

"Don't say that Naruto! You just wanted to help a friend. I know that the two of us are your friends and nothing will ever change that. I understand it, really. I'm not angry or hurt because you were there for him. In fact I admire how you could do it with all your inner and true feeling boiling inside of you. You are an amazing person Naruto."

I smiled honestly at him. He just seemed ashamed of the flattering.

"Don't say that! Hinata always say that... I'm not wonderful as all of you think..."

I just giggled finding fun in his childish expression of embarrassment. But I saw that he was hurt too by Sasuke-Kun. He was like a brother to him, his dear friend. He had done all in his power to recover him before and he was suffering too. I hadn't thought in this because I was so buried in my own pain and suffering. I knew that my friends didn't have it easy being in the middle of the conflict between me and Sasuke-Kun. They knew the both of us; they care for the both of us. They were our friends.

But I had have my friends always since the beginning, I had never been alone even before my mother came to apologize to me because I had them at my side. They had brought things and furniture to my new home, they helped me to take care of Miyu and they always find time to have lunch or go to a walk or have dinner. We talked and discussed about missions and trainings and I knew that I could count in any of them if I needed it.

They had prepared a party two months ago to celebrate that Ino and Naruto became my daughter's godparents and they bought her a lot of gifts and I had fun, really fun and laughed like I hadn't done since so long ago. They had been around me and around him, taking turns, caring and supporting us, without taking sides, without judging. I was so grateful and moved to all of them, to all the ones that were there for me and for my daughter and even for him. I hadn't been alone thanks to all of my friends and sensei.

"I'm sorry for putting you in this situation Naruto. I know that it has been difficult to you too."

I said sincerely kind and he just looked smiling sadly at me.

"You don't have to be sorry Sakura-Chan. You are my friend and teammate forever. I'm glad that I could help you. I know that I can count on you."

"You're right."

I just smiled at him blinking to not cry. He warmly clutched my hands in his smiling sweetly. He was so affected. I could see his worry and caring for me and for him.

"Well, where's my niece by the way?"

"Mom took her to the park. I was busy with accumulated work. Tenten, Neji and Lee came over before you and they said that they would go to the park to rest from their completed mission and that they would buy her an ice cream."

Naruto suddenly got stunned at hearing me and just snapped going up paler.

"OH DAMN THE MISSION! I have to meet Kiba and Shino at Tsunade's office!"

I just stared knowingly at him giggling. That was the Naruto I knew. It hurt me to see him so serious and sad these late days.

"Why can't I have vacations?! I'm sooooo tired!"

"Well you could ask for it Naruto, you know."

"You're right Sakura-Chan! But I will ask for vacations when Sasuke is here again to glue me to him and keep an eye on him always! I wonder if I could find and learn a jutsu powerful enough to do that..."

I just got up giggling at his determination and thoughtfulness in his last idea. He went to the door still complaining about the lack of rest and sleep and saying that he wanted to go to the movies with Hinata and sleep 20 hours. I resumed my duty at cutting vegetables to the dinner and before seeing him going I called him without looking directly at his direction. Naruto was standing in the door open curious.

"Thank you Naruto... for taking care of him and helping him and not letting him alone... for every time he goes... you are there even after all... thank you for not giving up on him..."

I went silent because I couldn't say anymore without hearing my voice breaking.

"Sakura-Chan..."

I sighed blinking away tears and sadness and turned smiling softly at him with the knife in my right hand.

"Do your best or you will never be Tsunade's succesor! You have to work hard to be the next Hokage, remember?"

"You're damn right! I'll see you later and then I will come over with Shikamaru to have dinner! So make tons and tons of ramen for the both of us!"

"I'll be waiting you then."

He left with stars in his eyes at my last lecture. I sighed still happy by the humor of my friend. But after some minutes I stayed still and lost in thought, wondering about Sasuke-Kun and his whereabouts. I keep praying for him to return safely and have a single glance at him again. Only that simple gesture could calm my throbbing heart and my melancholic soul crying silently for him.

* * *

_Temari POV_

The silence was so unnerving and awkward that I felt somehow irritated. But I sighed calming myself and knowing that I couldn't do anything about it. The one in front of me had gone mute since months ago and seemed so distant and cold that maybe it was better this way.

I had invited him to come to my perfect spot to rest. I started a fire and the two of us were sitting around its red and warm flames. I had offered him food and drinks and he took them nodding like a gesture of gratitude. I had told him who I was (in case he didn't remember me or didn't put any sort of attention before at me) and after having dinner I decided to pretend to be busy sorting and checking up the papers that Gaara had given me to Tsunade-Sama. I just wanted to watch him seriously because I had a strange hunch in my chest. A weird feeling. I didn't have any else to entertain myself anyway. So while I was pretending to be busy I chose to start a chat just because I felt rare without talking for an hour and a half. I was a talkative person.

"So I heard that you have a daughter with Sakura Haruno. That was unexpected. Who would think that could happen some day? Congratulations by the way."

I smiled honest and wide searching for his reaction. He just was looking at the fire with lost gaze. But somehow I knew he was listening to me.

"Your little girl is exactly as you I had heard. Wow you must feel like a proud dad about that."

His dark gaze turned to one side softly at my words. I kept my act watching him carefully and trying to look disinterested.

"I don't understand how you didn't think in birth control. Geez at least when Shika-Chan and I lost control, we"

But I stopped hearing myself. I gulped somehow ashamed and just giggled telling myself to shut up and praying to not be listened by some spy sent by my two brothers. At least the Uchiha was staring directly at me serious and stoic. I could imagine him being interested at last in something.

"Don' listen to me! I'm just tired and I don't know what I'm saying anyway!"

After all I went quiet and resumed my pretense. My persistent watching for hours, even being so damn tired, gave me the opportunity to study him. I knew that when I talked about Miyu Haruno he had been affected even when he didn't show it. I knew that there was something going on there and I wanted to know what it was. I was curious and interested and concerned too.

In those late hours I saw him standing up when I told him to sleep. He got up slowly and stared to walk to one direction but like before he stopped suddenly without an exact explanation and just looked at the horizon with lost and empty eyes. When he sat down for some minutes I saw him like pondering about something. His gaze was going to all directions like if he was looking something or seeing something that I couldn't see because it wasn't there. Sometimes he just sat there still as a statue and with a confused face and then thoughtful expression. There were times when he was just stoic and cold and he glared at me brooding and narrowing his ebony eyes.

But what appalled me the most was when he got up again and walked in one direction but got startled by some invisible force or being that made him to stop abruptly with a face filled with desperation and deep and true fear. I had seen him clutching his fists like if he was feeling angered or frustrated; I had seen him being startled to something that made him to turn quickly to one of his sides trying to reach something with his dark gaze. But I had never seen him with a slight chance of fear in his face.

Seeing that he had got paralyzed without a known reason I got up and kindly took him by his left arm trying to drag him to the fire again. He slightly turned to me with indifference and followed me after dismissing brusquely my gesture. I had had it difficult to gain his attention so I just sighed serious and watchful not taking personally. I knew that if I had fallen sleep it was probably that he would run away again so I couldn't take the risk even dying for exhaustion. But his stillness for some long minutes and silence, and later his movings and attempts of fleeing made me worried more for him. When I caught him with his gaze going to one point to another it gave me a very bad feeling.

"I would take you to Konoha even if I have to do it by force. I don't want Shikamaru to worry anymore for you or anyone else. It's time to come home Sasuke Uchiha. So don't anger me or try to escape. Even dragging you I would do it."

He glared at me with intensity trying to stun me or at least I felt like that. But he remained sitting and after I resisted his glare with a focused and powered look, he lowered his gaze slowly putting his obsidian eyes on the fire. I had won this little battle. But it wasn't the real war anyway.

I tried to not fall sleep. I really tried. But between trying and being awake sometimes I caught him shocking his head in denial or gesturing tiredly his hands in a way that suggested that he was trying to make something away from him. I tried to help him asking his help to do some things like checking papers and maps and other stuff. But when I couldn't find something else to entertain him I was left in silence watching at the fire and him again.

And then I saw him shivering from the cold and I got up and gave him a mantle to cover himself. He just took it without looking at me. Finally I gave him a cup of hot chocolate and I went back to my spot in front of him drinking mine in silence and watching him. He smelled it and drank it slowly finding a like in it. I just half smiled feeling proud of myself.

I was tired of not sleeping so I had to take urgent measures to make myself to rest and sleep well. And when I saw him closing at last his eyes and fell sleep I sighed relieved. I had won the war.

* * *

"I can't stay here without doing anything!"

Tsunade just looked seriously at the blond ninja in front of her.

"There's nothing else you can do."

She answered sincerely. Naruto was trembling in frustration.

"How can you say that?! Are you not worried about Sasuke?! He's sick and he isn't acting normal! How can you stay here and let me stay here without knowing anything, without doing anything! You all don't know what happened to him! You all don't know anything yet! Your tests and speculations hadn't done anything yet!"

"Shut up Naruto."

Kakashi said and put his hands in the blue eyed boy's shoulders indicating him to calm down. Shizune was scandalized looking at the young ninja.

"How can you say that to Tsunade-Sama!"

"Let him Shizune. He's right in being angry for that. It's true that we still don't have a clue about what exactly happened to him. That's frustrating and it angers me. I felt useless. But I deeply worry about Sasuke like all of you. Still we can't let ourselves to fall in desperation. We need to think cold and calm and be patient. We had a lot of people looking around for him."

"That's true Naruto."

The blond shinobi just sighed frustrated and beaten at Kakashi's words. His other friends were there watching worried.

"Still... I can't be here... without doing nothing… What if he's hurt or... dead?..."

"Don't say that. You have to hope for the best."

"Gai is right. Sasuke will return sooner or later and safe."

Naruto wanted to believe in Gai and Kurenai and in all of them but he was so damn desperate to have information about his friend. Anko looked at him in silence some seconds.

"You are scared of knowing that he had gone to the bad again, don't you?"

The silence that the question made by the Anbu brought gave the answer in itself. Naruto just nodded sadly and concerned.

"I can't... do it again... not again... I don't understand why he went again... I thought everything was going to be fine if I had him living with me... I can't help to wonder if I did something wrong... or if I didn't do a lot..."

"Don't say that Naruto. You did all you can. But Sasuke needs time to understand that he needs help and maybe he needs to realize the fact itself. The acceptance of needing help. You can't force someone to get better."

Kakashi looked softly at his student with sincerity and melancholy. Tsunade closed her eyes thoughtful. Her attention was called when she heard Lee addressing her suddenly.

"Hokage-Sama, please let us search for him again. All of us don't have any mission right now. We can do it! Let us look for Sasuke!"

Naruto looked grateful, surprised and moved at him. The young copy of Gai-Sensei just smiled widely and proud. Tsunade crossed looks with Kakashi, Kurenai, Gai and Anko and then just sighed with resignation.

"Alright then. You have my permission. But Shikamaru will lead the team. Understood?"

"_Oh crap"_. That was what Shikamaru thought in fact. Naruto smiled hopeful and gave the thanks to Tsunade.

"I will find him and bring him here even with chains!!"

"Who are you going to bring with chains Naruto Uzumaki?"

That voiced called all their attention to the Hokage's office door. They saw Temari there dragging an unconscious Sasuke by his left arm lying in her shoulders. Naruto gasped surprised like all the others. The blond young woman just smiled at them and especially at Shikamaru with a flirting spark in her green eyes.

"Hello Shikamaru. Didn't' I tell you that I would come?"

After the impact and effect she had caused in all of them, Naruto immediately took Sasuke from her and with the help of Kakashi kept his friend standing and being securely supported by them. He looked relieved and sadly at him. Shikamaru dragged a chair to Temari and she sat down looking very exhausted in fact. She explained to them how she had met the Uchiha boy in the forest some kilometers away from Konoha after drinking some water. She was lost in thought before asking something that was bothering her.

"By the way, what kind of treatment are you giving him Tsunade-Sama?"

"Why do you ask?"

Tsunade seemed interested and curious. The Sand Girl sighed meditating and without looking at anyone in particular, like if she was seeing memories in front of her.

"I ask because of his hallucinations. That's why."

She didn't tell them her thoughts about it before because she had thought they already knew but looking at the faces of sincere and big surprise she knew she had been wrong guessing this.

"Hallucinations?"

Naruto asked worried and stunned. Tsunade just narrowed her gaze like if she was thinking in a lot of things in seconds. Temari related to them all she had watched in the Uchiha in those long hours.

"Yeah. I think that's it. I noticed while I was with him all night. I knew because I had seen it in some way in Gaara before, when he was still the vessel of Shukaku. When Kankuro and I had to travel with him I discovered that because my little brother couldn't sleep ever, his brain was sick or something like that. It wasn't working properly. And Shukaku talking and molesting him didn't help by the way and his idea of the sand being mother and talking with him too wasn't a help either. The lack of sleep traumatized his brain and its processes and made him to see and hear things that weren't real. I saw it in him a lot of times from time to time. Now he's still recovering from all those years and his body too. I now that it's different from Sasuke's case but I'm pretty sure that they had that in common. I know Sasuke sleeps so it's other thing. But I knew what I saw all night. I think he's aware of his reality anyway. He just lost it like last night."

"I think your guess could be possibly right but I had to do more tests on him. To be completely sure. We didn't think in that because he never was like that here. He just looked as a still statue. So these symptoms just appeared lately. And that worries me more."

No one dared to say what the words she wasn't saying were. _That meant that he was worse than they had thought. _

"First I thought that I could be awake watching him. I even had to force him to reorganize my papers and things to stop him in his hallucinations. I almost forced him to braid my hair!"

She sighed concerned and sleepy.

"You kept him focused doing routine things?"

Gai asked amazed at the smart girl. She nodded and Shikamaru just smirked proudly.

"Finally I gave up to my tiredness and sleepiness and I gave him drugs in a cup of hot chocolate. That made the trick. I'm sorry for drugging him by the way."

"That's why he's like this?"

Kakashi asked and Temari just nodded.

"It's just a medicine to sleep. I knew that I had to bring him here to all of you."

"Thank you Temari."

She just smiled kindly at Naruto who was facing her with deep sadness in his eyes and hurt concern. She could see the worry in the eyes of everyone. She hadn't brought good news.

"Well Sasuke needs to be hospitalized now. I will run different tests on him to be sure about everything and I hope you're wrong Temari."

"I hope so too."

But when the two crossed their looks they already knew the sand shinobi was right. Kakashi, Gai, Kurenai and Anko too. But they didn't say anything.

"Take Sasuke to the hospital, please."

Tsunade gestured to Gai and Kakashi. Gai went to his rival and Naruto who was thoughtful and watching worried at his dark haired friend. Then Kakashi helped Gai to carry Sasuke in his arms and they went out leaving a sad and silent Naruto behind. Hinata went and hugged him tightly supporting him. He smiled weakly at her.

"Don't worry. I will go and check him. All of you can go and rest; you had completed your missions. When you can visit Sasuke Shizune will inform you."

They all nodded excluding Naruto who was lost in thought and one by one the young ninjas left the office. Shikamaru helped Temari. Kurenai and Anko left too after them and Tsunade was alone sitting behind her desk thinking.

She knew that Temari was right. Even without the real proof about it. And she just sighed starting to ponder what had happened to the Uchiha boy and who had done it. But she couldn't have the straight and clear answers. Not yet.


	11. Collecting

**SPECIAL NOTE:**

**Hmm I have been reading that it is very possible that Sakura will be paired with Naruto. This is sad. I love the SasuSaku and personally I think it has more background and deepness as a relationship. Anyway we just have to wait till the manga is over but I had the bad feeling of a NaruSaku coming.**

**Well at least I hope to see Sasuke with some girl at his side anyway. I dont't want to see him alone at the end. I hope that the idea of reviving his clan will help. But then I think in the few girls we had in Naruto. Who could be? Hinata, Ino, Tenten or Temari? Well Tenten seems to go with Neji and Temari with Shikamaru. And between Ino and Hinata... or maybe that other girl that is in his team. Karin I think is her name. Hmm. Or maybe an unknown and new girl who will appear only in the end after years and years. I don't like this idea either just because I think that after all the story he had, he needs to be with someone who at least now the plot about it.**

**I hope he won't be killed either. After all that they had done to recover him it will be damn ironic, don't you think? And I don't know. I think he could do different from Orochimaru who never returned to Konoha. Besides the Uchihas can't dissapear I guess.**

**But if a NaruSaku is coming well I have to hurry up, he, he.**

**Chapter 11**

**Collecting**

Naruto entered to the kitchen yawning and still sleepy. He rubbed her heavy eyes while he was thinking in the breakfast. What could he eat today?

And he was still thinking in it until he noticed something weird in the scene in front of him. He suddenly ended with his eyes wide open like his mouth that almost fell to the floor. He was stunned and amazed beyond belief staring speechless at the incredible scene developing in front of his mere face.

Sasuke was there making breakfast like an expert.

And the smell of the food he was cooking was good. Very good indeed.

The poor and paralyzed blond shinobi put his right hand in his chest, over the place where his heart was pounding hard and wild obeying the extreme surprise that was muting his owner and clutched his pajama breathing quickly and unevenly and gasping for air. Was he still dreaming? Did he enter to another dimension while he was coming to the kitchen? Was that boy really Sasuke Uchiha?

The supposed Sasuke Uchiha turned at him after hearing the heavy breathing and intent of talking of Naruto and just watched him with his natural coldness and indifference. He came to the table slowly and put two dishes on it. The other things were there prepared. Bread. Orange juice. He sat down ignoring that his friend was dying from heart and asthma attacks and took the fork and started to eat with his look fixed at the table.

Naruto finally controlled himself and he was fully awake by now by the way. He stayed stunned in his spot on the door looking surprised and confused at the dark-bluish boy. After verifying the facts and their reality, he came to the table still shaking from the impact and sat in front of Sasuke glazing confusedly at him. He looked all in the table and his food. It looked damn good. He just smiled moved and grateful and took his fork saying "Itadakimasu" happily and hungry and ignoring the pain in his chest and started to eat too.

It was the first time in all the month since Sasuke had returned thanks to Temari, that he had done something on his own and he seemed attracted to share time and space with someone. Something that anyone had put on his list of daily activities. And that made Naruto to smile wider and share the moment even in the eternal quietness of his best friend.

When Naruto finished his breakfast he just sighed content and satisfied. He stretched his body in the chair and looked at Sasuke who was still and distant with his face barely bowed and dark gaze lost.

"I didn't know you cook so good Sasuke! It was delicious! Thank you!"

Sasuke didn't react and Naruto just smiled sadly and moved. Why did he do that? Why did he make breakfast to him? His blue eyes wandered on the table and his friend's arms. He could see the slight scars there against his pale skin. He narrowed his blue eyes thinking and feeling sad and frustrated again. But he couldn't let that to spoil this incredible moment he had had with Sasuke. So he left behind his preoccupation and just smiled warmly at him.

"I have to go to a mission now with Neji and Kiba. I don't know how long it will take so I will tell the others to come to visit you. You're going to be fine, right?"

Naruto was just trying to chat. He knew that Sasuke would not answer. And he knew that he couldn't leave him alone again in his apartment so that was why he would ask Shino and Lee to keep an eye on him. It was the first time that he would go away since his last returning and was very worried in letting him by himself.

Smiling Naruto got up ready to take a shower. He had to leave soon to reunite with Neji and Lee at the Hokage's office. He was going to pick up everything from the table when Sasuke got up slowly and did it on his own. Still, the blue eyed boy decided to help him before taking his shower and getting prepared to his mission. He went near to his quiet friend who was washing all with slow and distant moves.

"How have you been feeling Sasuke?"

The Uchiha stopped suddenly at hearing his friend and turned to him his stoic look. He didn't seem sulking or annoyed. He was just cold and indifferent like almost all days. Naruto was glazing kindly and worried at him, trying to be casual. Sasuke just nodded one slight time and resumed to his job at washing dishes.

"It's good to know that. Tsunade's treatment is functioning then!"

He saw that Sasuke looked at the clock verifying the time and took out from his clothes a bottle with the pills that the Hokage had given him. After Temari had brought him a month ago, Tsunade had spent a lot of time doing tests on the Uchiha trying to have real proof of the guessing from the Sand Shinobi. Sasuke was hospitalized one week and the Hokage had said finally that Temari had been right in her guesses.

Even when there wasn't entirely physical proof that Sasuke indeed could hallucinate sometimes, there was some physical damage in his brain and they couldn't exactly knew how deep and extensive was. It was skillfully hidden. Still, other tests made by Tsunade had found some real damage at his spiritual, emotional and mental level. Even in his chakra. It was the same as the physical damage, very hidden and difficult to study. So the blond Hokage had ended knowing that Sasuke in fact could hallucinate and it was related to his emotional and physical state in some profound and strange bond. She didn't exactly know what things could provoke the hallucinations to appear and that's why she intended to keep watching Sasuke.

Because of the bond between his physical and emotional damage it was easier to give him and controlled him with a treatment and medicine. So she had prescribed him some pills made by herself with the help of the father of Shikamaru and they seemed to be working fine. She knew that Sasuke had been attacked very badly by some weird and unknown Jutsu and that he was aware of his surrounding and reality, but at how much, she couldn't exactly tell. His health seemed to be fine in the other aspect less his slowing pace and movements, his little weakness and his muteness. But she feared that like the hallucinations, other symptoms could appear later.

Sometimes Sasuke acted and looked exactly as all of them remembered him minus his voice. Other times were difficult to handle him.

Naruto knew that already.

While he was taking his shower he couldn't help to remember that day. It was the second day of Sasuke's hospitalization and Naruto had been there with him all morning. He could still remember the force his friend had showed even being so weak.

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

_I was reading a magazine when I saw by the corner of my eye that Sasuke opened his eyes and looked at everything around him with narrowed onyx gaze. He slowly sat down in the bed and suddenly got up without taking notice of me and went to the door with a monotone pace and lost face. _

_I got up quickly and went to him putting myself between the door and him, stopping him with my hands holding his arms. He was still weak and pale from his wandering alone for 3 months and I was deadly worried from him. He just looked strangely at me with sulking expression and somehow angered at my behavior._

_I had known him since we were kids. I know how to recognize when he's angry at something. And in that moment, he was angry at me. And he was because I had stopped his fleeing._

"_Stop Sasuke! You're not allowed to run away again! What the hell you think you're doing?!"_

_I spat at him angry and concerned too. Confused. He had just returned and now it seemed that he wanted to go again. He stared at me with his body tense and stiff. But I was stronger than him and I had to put him in bed again at all costs. When I tried to push him to the bed he used all the strength he seemed to have even in his sick condition and refused my advance. I tried it again and he then surprisingly punched me straight in the face forcing me to step back with my eyes watering. I was forced to let him go and he took that as an opportunity to try to open the door. But I was quicker and I was boiling in desperation and anger and I took him by the shoulders turning him around and I made him to step back trying to moderate my strength. He had hit me badly but I knew that I was stronger than him anyway in his condition and I didn't want to hurt him seriously for this. _

_We stayed one in front of the other. He was breathing unevenly and he seemed affected by the intent he had made. I just looked concerned at him feeling frustrated at not knowing his reason to run away again. I thought he would give up but I was mistaken. He wasn't looking at me, just plenty focused at the closed door. And then he charged again at me using all our training but with less speed and force he used to have. I confronted him trying to avoid his punch and hits and trying to find how to stop him. But he didn't give me a chance to get near him to control him even being weaker and slower than me and continued trying to take me out of his way. When his eyes turned red I was aware he was using his sharingan and that could only mean he was serious about this. He was still skillful and talented but his sickness had weakened him. I didn't want to take this useless fight so far. I knew he wasn't in all his senses. I could see it in his strange look, distant and empty. He wasn't even paying all his attention at me._

"_Stop it Sasuke! It's useless!! I won't let you go so just stop now!"_

_A spark of anger filled his red eyes. I could almost see my former friend in front of me. He punched me twice because of my careless movements (I was more worried for him than for me) and he hit me very hard. I saw him gasping and trembling after using all the strength he had. But he didn't surrender at his exhaustion and keep trying to hit me and knock me down to flee from the room. _

_I grow impatient and angry. If he didn't care about himself well I did. I started to fight trying to make him to lose his balance and control. I didn't want to hurt him. When he suddenly was ready to punch me (and I wasn't prepared to stop him) he stopped abruptly with a confused red gaze. I knew that something was going on when I saw Sasuke's crimson eyes going from a point to another quickly like if he was following something invisible with his eyes. He turned around suddenly looking at one corner of the room losing his attention on me and stayed just glaring at the empty space gasping for air and shaking. I looked in the direction he was watching but I couldn't see anything. And then I remembered Temari's explanation._

"_Sasuke calm down... come, you need to rest... Tsunade will come to help you..."_

_I tried to get near him and took him by his arm to guide him to the bed. But before I could reach him he jerked his body to me like if someone before me had touched him. And I saw deep sadness in his onyx eyes. He wasn't using his sharingan anymore. I sighed feeling relieved and tried to take his arm again but he with distant expression dismissed brusquely my attempt and tried again to kick me down. I was surprised at his movements and I received another series of punches directly at my face and torso. He then got to the door for the second time and he opened it but I took him by the collar forcing him to step back stumbling and while I was trying to control him I got tangled at our movements and his weak force fighting mine and we ended falling against the floor. I didn't want to hurt him and I almost fell on top of him without care. I watched him trying to see in the fall had hurt him feeling so worried and desperate. _

_He still was trying to win over me._

_I tried to control him while he was still trying to push me away and stand up. He was glaring and staring angry at me but I didn't care. I was responsible for him if he wasn't capable of taking care of himself now._

"_Stop it Sasuke! I won't let you go! Just calm down!"_

_He tried to punch me intensely but I was trying over and over to control him. I waited and waited till he lost the little strength he had left and surrendered lying limp and pale on the floor. He was trying to breathe normally but I could hear his effort feeling very concerned at it. His dark eyes were distant and lost again and they looked feverish. _

_When I knew that he couldn't try anything anymore I let him go and I found myself breathing hard like him from all the fight. I was kneeling at his side, looking preoccupied. After some minutes Sasuke try to sit down but he couldn't do it so I helped him and just left him breathing unevenly and slightly shaking. I supported him with my left arm across his shivering back. _

"_Are you ok Sasuke? I'm sorry... but I needed to stop you... I don't want you to go again... please trust in me and just stay... alright? You're still weak from your wandering…"_

_Sasuke didn't react at my words and just stayed sit with his body stiff and gazing distant at a point that I could never see. When I tried to get up to call Shizune he reached for my left arm and took it weakly by the wrist. I, surprised and wide eyed, turned to him confused. He was staring at the empty space still but he had grabbed me. That made my confusion to be left behind and preoccupied I half smiled sadly and moved._

"_You don't want me to go?"_

_He didn't show any other reaction. I knew he had fever. I could see it. But right now I didn't want to leave him alone even knowing he couldn't get up on his own and therefore try to escape. He let go of me eventually and I was left at his side just hearing him gasping for air. Sasuke finally was able to control his breathing and tired put his head against my left shoulder looking for support._

"_Everything will be fine Sasuke, you'll see... calm down..."_

_I just looked deep worried and hurt at seeing him like that. He closed his eyes exhausted. I waited till he was slept and carefully took him to the bed and lied him down. I couldn't help to feel proud of myself._

_This time I had stopped him._

_It was the first time I had done it. And I smiled sadly at my triumph._

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

I left him sleeping and went to find Tsunade. Shizune healed my wounds caused by him. When the Hokage heard about my telling she decided to speed up her investigation on Sasuke and ordered to keep him tied to the bed and under treatment to control him. She had worried very badly after hearing that he tried to hurt me to run away.

So yes, they were times when it was difficult to handle him. Times like this weren't so common and less now that Sasuke had his pills. There were times when he was almost the Sasuke Uchiha I had met and there were times when he didn't want anyone near him and was angry. And there were the times when he was catatonic and he didn't get up from bed and didn't do anything and just stayed lying in bed all day with his gaze trapped in some place far away from me and from all. Those times were the ones that I couldn't stand. Just seeing him like that made me to lose my patience and get frustrated and angry and sad. I could handle him if he lost his mind. I could handle him if he was almost the friend I had before. I could handle him if he was sulking and wanting to be left alone. But I couldn't handle in the same way when I saw him like a dead without moving and without life in his eyes. That crushed my heart. I couldn't face my friend in that moments but I had to try it anyway. I was grateful that almost all the time he was like the talented boy I had admired and felt envy at when I was a child. It was almost like if I had my friend with me again.

The pills had worked fine till now and I was so relieved for that too. They kept him focused and without a lot of hallucinations. Tsunade couldn't give him anything more because there wasn't anything more that could heal the damage he had suffered. Not till this day anyway. But not even her, so experimented in medicine, could heal what was damaged in him. It was like a progressive sort of illness. She just wanted it to be under control and to not sick him anymore.

We know that Sasuke didn't want to hallucinate. He didn't like it, whatever the hallucinations were. That was why he always took them when it was the right time and tried to never forget one dose. Whatever he heard o saw, it seemed to hurt him deeply or angered him. At first he forgot to take them in two occasions and he had been acting restless and tense. Those days were difficult. Remembering Temari's explanation I had bought him books and I had found that he enjoyed and focused in painting. He didn't paint something understandable anyway; he just mixed the colors in different combinations. Months ago when he returned the first time after Miyu's birth we had left him just alone even if he was just staring at the empty space. But now I didn't want that for him and I encouraged him to do activities that required some routine like Temari had said. That helped him too a lot with the pills when the hallucinations where there.

Because even with the pills and the activities we know that he heard and saw things or beings that weren't there, that weren't real. Tsunade had told us that he lived in a real world mixed with an imaginary world born from his delusional attacked mind. He could be with us in a normal room but it was possible that he perceived that room mixed with sounds and images that weren't there and maybe they weren't even real. I could see it when Sasuke used to turn slowly his gaze in a special way around him or focused in the empty space in front of him, sometimes furrowing his brow and others lowering his look sadly still following shadows that didn't exist. I know how hard he tried to not listen or put attention on the hallucinations living with him minute after minute. But thanks to the pills and painting and reading, Tsunade was pretty sure that Sasuke was capable of having an almost normal life even with his own and necessary effort trying to ignore them. With the pills the hallucinations were weaker and fewer around his real world.

We discovered that reading was difficult to him. He could spend all day trying to read at least 3 pages. That's why I bought him books with images and not only letters. Writing was other thing he never tried doing. I had bought him paper and pencils and pens but he never touched them. He didn't want to communicate in any way and I let him for now. I wanted to force him to write and communicate what he was feeling and thinking but knowing everything that had happened I chose to follow Tsunade's advice and just let him at his pace.

Other thing was that he got lost easily in the village. One day Chouji took him to lunch and he lost him in the middle of one street. It was easy to return to the restaurant and Chouji thought that he would return soon. But he got worried when Sasuke never returned and went looking desperate for him. He found Sasuke standing still in one street without a clue of where he was or how to return to the restaurant.

Chouji heard from some people that had watched Sasuke going around that he seemed pretty confused. Some days later I tried to prove this and with the help of Shikamaru I did almost the same as Chouji had done. I left him behind without being notorious and Shikamaru watched him. The people had been right. Sasuke had lost somehow his sense of orientation or maybe the hallucinations messed with his surrounding so bad that he couldn't know what way to follow or how to orientate himself. Perhaps that was why he didn't return sooner to Konoha the last time.

I sighed thinking in all this again. But I had to run to the Hokage's office and before leaving home I went to check him up in his room. All my house was clean and organized thanks to him by the way. Doing it had helped him too. All my friends lost the bet and I got rich for some days. Smiling sadly I opened the door slightly and looked inside. Sasuke was sleeping lying in bed peacefully. I sighed relieved and sad. One side effect of the pills was that they put him to sleep a couple of hours after taking them. I closed the door carefully and went to the principal door without forgetting to look at the empty table with a moved and hopeful smile.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"So that's all."

I nodded at Tsunade-Sensei thoughtful and sad. She just looked warmly at me. I had never told anyone before all he had said to me that night when I had told him I was pregnant.

When I screamed at him in the hospital's hall I had said some part of it. But not the complete story. Tsunade-Sensei had called me two days ago to ask me to come and see her and talk about Sasuke-Kun. At first I wasn't so thrilled at the idea and my calm world protested at this and I avoided her invitation. But I knew that if she was asking this of me so directly and serious, it was for a good reason. A reason that involved him. And feeling so damn worried and depressed deep inside, I couldn't say no. I had heard rumors of his return again thanks to Temari and all about his hallucinations. I heard that his state was worse than any could guess or imagine.

I had asked in person to Hinata and Naruto and they told me all. Like I had said to my blond friend, I still worried and cared deeply for Sasuke-Kun. That nothing could erase it from me. But I didn't do anything to come to see him or ask more than the basics about him. I know that if I let myself to be carried in it I would lose my will power to follow my own path and decision. And I couldn't take the risk. My love for him was still filling my chest and my heart and went out of me through my skin. I breathed it. So I couldn't let myself to be weak even when I was dying being away from him and hearing all that was happening to the father of my child. My soul was tormented in suffering and pain but I kept in control and focused in my life away from him.

I told everything to Tsunade-Sensei. I couldn't talk about some things with my own mother. It was strange but I couldn't tell her all. But with Tsunade-Sensei I talked about everything. Maybe I could felt ashamed with mom if I discussed with her details from my two encounters with him. But with the Hokage was different and the uncomfortable feeling was gone after some minutes of sharing. She even dared to ask me how was our first time of sex together and if he had been good and kind to me and if he hadn't hurt me. Ashamed and with red cheeks I spoke to her about everything feeling relief to have someone to tell the memories I held so strong and deep in me.

And to have someone to tell the cruel and mean things that had broken my heart and spirit that night. Words spoken from his lips. Those lips that kissed and caressed me with passion and sweetness. Those lips that I wanted to feel again but I would not let them to torment me.

I cried with fury and hurt remembering him saying all that. And I felt again the anger and resentment against him, boiling in my heart and soul, destroying my hope. And I felt again the sadness and the pain they caused forever in me. He had called my daughter a bastard and me a whore.

But I dismissed all the old feelings and thoughts trying to be strong and move on and focusing in the interest of Tsunade-Sensei in it. She told me after hearing and supporting me warmly and sadly that she only wanted to know if Sasuke-Kun was sick when he had been with me the first and the second time. Putting our two heads to wonder on it, I, with cold mind, got to the conclusion with Tsunade's help. Sasuke-Kun hadn't been sick those two times when he and I had sex. Whatever that had happened to him had occurred after all that. I was three and a half when I slept with him the second time and when he returned in that state was three months and a half later. When I was seven months and gave birth to my little girl. In those three months and a half something had happened to him and had left him in such condition.

Tsunade said thanks to me and I just nodded still thinking and remembering old times. He still has the power over me to put me in deep melancholy every time I hear his name or say his name. When I was at the door after saying goodbye to Tsunade-Sensei she looked concerned and serious at me calling softly my name.

"Are you sure that what you're doing it's what you want?"

I stared thoughtfully and distant at her first. Then I looked serious and shaken at her.

"Why do you ask? Do you think I should forget and forgive and try again?"

"It's not that. It's not what everyone could think. Some people would tell you to go on and do your best to stop loving him. Others would tell you to just love him anyway. But the important matter here is what you think. What you feel. I don't want you to suffer all your life. But if after some time you are still trapped with doubts you would never be free or live in calm. The happiness is a matter different to everyone. What could make you happy to others could not do the same. That's all. I want you to be happy."

She half smiled warmly at me. I nodded thinking in this and remembering the talk I had had just with her I knew once again that I had done right. My decision was correct. Even after all. Even against my love fighting with my resignation and hate. Am I stubborn? Am I correct in not wanting anything from him anymore? I didn't exactly know. I only know that he had hurt me so much and so deep that night. And that I didn't have anymore hope or faith. I couldn't believe in him anymore. That was the answer to everything.

"I'm sure Tsunade-Sensei. All this time had served me to find calm and happiness on my own. I won't deny that it has been hard and difficult and that I still love him in some way but I'm sure about it. I want to rebuild my life without him. At least now I don't lose against my feelings when I heard or discuss about him anymore. I still cry and feel crushed but I don't let this love to control me. I'm trying. And I think I will succeed."

I half smiled feeling secure in my trembling heart. The Hokage nodded and paused before asking again.

"Do you hate him too?"

I lost my smile and thought before answering.

"Sometimes. Sometimes there's something meddling with my love and I feel it is anger turning to hate. I don't want to see him. I don't want him near me or Miyu. I won't let him to see her. He didn't want her in the first place. He refused her and he refused me. So, could you tell me if I hate him?"

She looked my serious and suffering face sadly for long minutes. I sighed tired and pained.

"If you're positive that you're doing the best for you and Miyu then so be it. Keep going and find happiness Sakura. You deserve it. I won't ask you anything more about him."

She smiled widely at me worried. I nodded smiling weakly too. I thanked her for her time and words and left the office with the promise of continuing my training with her soon.

* * *

_Hinat__a POV_

Sasuke did something weird today.

Ino and I took him to a walk that afternoon. Naruto-Kun had been busy all week with missions and we thought that taking him out of the house could make him some good. We decided to do it when the two of us were free from our duties and we accompanied him. After walking with him by the side of the river and talking between us without excluding him we got hungry and decided to eat. Sasuke was calm and cold like almost all days, distant and indifferent. He followed us closely and we were always checking that he was behind us. We couldn't force him to be at our side knowing that he never used to be like that. When we were walking on a street chatting about Shikamaru and Temari we suddenly didn't hear his footsteps behind us. We turned around feeling trepidation and concern looking for him and we were amazed and relieved to see him staring still at a window. He even had put his two palms against the crystal and bowed slightly his stiff body looking with attention at it.

Ino and I hurried getting near him quickly. She started to lecture him jokingly for scaring her like that but I was staring at what he was staring trying to understand his behavior.

The window belonged to a gift's shop. But it wasn't any kind of gift's shop. It was a gift's shop dedicated to babies and children.

Soon I knew Ino had gotten it too when I didn't listen her voice anymore. At the corner of my eye I saw her staring too confused. I looked then at Sasuke who was stoic and paralyzed. And I dared to ask him what it was screaming at my face.

"Hmm… Do you want to enter Sasuke?"

Ino jerked her neck (I don't know how she didn't get hurt) looking at me like if I was demented and I just smiled weakly and ashamed. Maybe I had understood wrong. But Sasuke thought it for seconds and without noticing us left his spot and went to the door. To our surprise and confusion we saw him opening the door and entering at the shop looking everything with calm eyes. Ino and I followed him feeling curious and worried and stayed behind him, without wanting to bother him while he walked from spot to spot slow and calm and looked all the things there with empty and dark eyes. Neither Ino nor I said something fearing we would spoil the moment. The owner was looking surprised at him without moving or talking like us.

Sasuke finally stopped and took a small and pretty doll dressed in white and pink that looked like a princess. He held it in his right hand gazing longingly at it. I crossed looks with Ino and she nodded. The two of us went to him and Ino asked him softly the question.

"Sasuke, do you want to buy it?"

We waited for an answer in one of his reactions. At first he didn't put attention to our presence but later he turned at Ino and put the doll in her hands just staring indifferent and tired at her.

"It's a beautiful doll! You have good taste."

Ino just smiled widely and sincerely and went to pay the doll. I stayed with him behind. I could see how he was looking at all still longingly and almost sadly. Or did I confuse his sadness with tiredness?

We left the gift's shop but Sasuke still walked looking back to the shop and the surroundings with an intensity we didn't see a lot in him these days. Ino and I didn't say anything in the way. We kept glancing at him confused and preoccupied. We ate ramen in the favorite stand of Naruto-Kun but didn't say anything about the doll. We discussed trivial things but kept wondering about Sasuke's behavior.

When we got to department of Naruto-Kun, Ino gave him the plastic bag with the doll inside and he just took it and went to his room leaving the two of us alone in the living room. We had to wait to Naruto-Kun to get home and even when we knew that Sasuke was inside his room with the closed door we couldn't talk and discuss about what had happened. The both of us were wondering what it could mean. And we hoped to mean what we wanted it to be.

* * *

_Ino__ POV_

I took him out again with Shikamaru and Chouji when we had to buy food and drinks and all the things you usually need to buy just because Naruto had forgotten to do the shopping. We took the opportunity to buy the necessary for the lunch we would have with Sakura tomorrow even when we didn't talk about it in front of him. Shikamaru was always looking at Sasuke like if he was some sort of experiment and I lectured him about it. He only said lazily that it was the problem when you are a genius. I laughed at his face and we continued walking while Chouji stayed side by side with Sasuke eating his chips.

We were just walking on the street until I saw the shop the other day Hinata and I had visited with Sasuke and I looked at Shikamaru gesturing him to look at it. Hinata and I had told about it trying to understand what could it mean and all of us speculate on it without a straight answer. Shikamaru had said that he just needed to see it with his own eyes to give his point of view about it.

We were interrupted when Chouji called us and he pointed out at Sasuke very surprised. I saw the same scene that I had shared with Hinata before. And like before, he entered the shop and chose another toy (this time it was a small and white bunny with a pink ribbon in her neck) surprising even me. I had testified this before and I found a new light in it watching it with Shikamaru and Chouji at my side. I pay for the toy (with Sasuke's money of course) and we left the shop, I, carrying the plastic bag with the bunny inside. After Shikamaru, Chouji and I took Sasuke to home, Naruto was already there with a lot of food on the table (ramen and more ramen and more ramen, tons of ramen, I couldn't help to feel sympathy at Sasuke) and I gave our quiet friend the bag again. He (again) took it and went to his room. Naruto just told him that the dinner would be ready in some minutes.

We discussed in low voice about the incident. This was the second time he did it. Could this mean that he thought in Miyu? That he cared about her? Maybe even loved her? Shikamaru's answer was positive to the first question. But he said that we had to be completely sure about it before saying anything or doing anything. Naruto nodded thoughtful and hopeful like I and Hinata had done the first time we had seen Sasuke holding that doll by his own.

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

Sasuke kept buying toys and dolls whenever any of us took him out. There were times when he just walked looking calmly for the right street and the right shop ignoring that our destination was other or was far from it and we had to let him be and followed his path to accompany him. I saw the scene that Ino and Hinata had seen and other of our friends some times. Even Kakashi-Sensei after hearing about it, went one fine day with me and Sasuke shopping just to testify the strange fact. That day Sasuke bought a small and yellow teddy bear with an orange dress by the way.

I had wondered what Sasuke did to the toys and dolls. The second time that it happened when Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji left, Sasuke and I had dinner and then I waited to him to fall sleep. Then I entered quietly at his room and looked for the doll and the bunny in the darkness. I almost gave up until I find a big box inside the closet where his clothes were hung up. I felt curiosity looking at the metal box and I remember that Kakashi-Sensei had bought it for him when Sasuke lived alone months ago. I opened it carefully and looked inside holding a small lamp in my right hand.

There were the doll and the bunny. So he kept them there. I started to wonder why he put them there. I was still wondering if Sasuke bought them thinking in Miyu. I sighed confused and sad and close the metal box and left his room after I glanced a last time at his sleeping figure. Thanks to the pills it seemed that he was able to sleep at nights too. I left the room closing quietly the door still thinking in this strange and unexpected matter.

He had collected 20 toys the day I finally asked Tsunade what she thought about it. Miyu would have 9 months tomorrow and she crawled and even was trying to stand up and walk and made noises trying to talk. All of us were thrilled when we visited her and Sakura-Chan and had organized a special dinner to celebrate it. Well to be honest, for all of us, even Sakura, it was a celebration wanted after all the trainings and missions and jobs we had. We took the opportunity to relax and have fun whatever it was. Sakura-Chan was so grateful to Miyu for bringing that chance of joy. I think my niece was the only strong reason enough to Sakura-Chan to forget a little all that was happening with Sasuke. The little girl was the only reason in which she focused and was truly happy. When Miyu was with her Sakura-Chan always smiled widely and the sadness was almost gone from the deep of her emerald eyes.

So I asked Tsunade about Sasuke's strange collection. Kakashi-Sensei had told her and his companions, Gai, Kurenai and Anko about it too. All of my friends and me thought that Sasuke indeed cared about Miyu in his own maybe twisted way. Shikamaru, the one who was the brain of the group, had said it since the second time Sasuke bought a toy.

"I want to be sure if he's really interested in Miyu… before…"

"Saying something to Sakura?"

I nodded at the Hokage serious and concerned. I didn't want to hurt her. Not with false pretense and useless hope.

"I think it is very possible that he has an interest in his daughter. Those actions prove it. But why and how deep is that interest, I don't know."

"Shikamaru told us the same."

Tsunade smiled knowingly at this. She then was serious again.

"Sasuke… hurt her very deeply Naruto. He said that Miyu wasn't his and that he didn't want anything with her. I think that it is what pains Sakura more. Sakura is a mother now and she has the determination of not letting him see her or know her. He didn't want to be her father."

"I know."

"But the fact that he is indeed his father couldn't be changed. And maybe if it is a slight chance that he cares a little about her it could be a good sign in him. You could ask Sakura about it. Tell her that Sasuke wants to see Miyu. It's her choice at the end. You will be helping the both in any way. You're helping Sasuke if he really is interested in his daughter and you're helping Sakura to know this in the best way. But if she says no you had accomplished your friendship just talking with her about it and passing Sasuke's intentions."

I nodded trying to find comfort in her words but I couldn't. I felt bad at any result anyway.

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

When I told Sakura-Chan about it I had expected her answer anyway. But like Tsunade had said I had to pass the message from Sasuke to her. Even if it wasn't a direct message.

I talked with her in the special dinner. All of our friends were there, even Sakura's mom. I had left Sasuke in the care of Kakashi and Gai-Sensei that night.

Sakura-Chan heard my explanation about the things that Sasuke was doing and the strange way he had started to show interest in Miyu. Hinata was by my side. My friend stared at the empty space thoughtful and somehow confused but I could see the immense pain and suffering the notice had caused in her and I felt guilty and bad. She was in silence for long minutes thinking hard and the resignation I saw in her green eyes, the sadness and surrendering at the lost of her faith give me the answer before she used her voice.

"I'm sorry Naruto. I won't do it. I won't let him see Miyu. I swore it to myself when he abandoned her. I could forget and forgive probably that he forsaken me. But his own daughter… that I cannot. And honestly I don't believe in his interest. I don't believe it… He said she wasn't his. He said…"

I took her hands in mine and Hinata put a hand in her shoulder looking concerned and sadly at her. I nodded knowing previously that this was going to be her answer. Her eyes filled with unshed tears and I saw the pain and anger in her lost expression. I didn't insist and smiled understanding.

"It's ok Sakura-Chan. It's ok. I just wanted you to know. I think you should know everything related with your daughter."

"Yeah you're right. Thank you for telling me."

"It's nothing. We are friends forever, remember?"

She nodded blinking away her tears and smiled kindly with a persistent nostalgia in her face. Hinata held her one time strongly and she thanked her sincerely moved. Before putting the matter behind us and just enjoying the party Sakura-Chan asked us if Sasuke was fine. We said yes and she just nodded and said "good". And we didn't say any other word about it in all night.

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

This matter of Sasuke and his interest in Miyu was put aside when weeks later other symptom appeared. Sasuke started to have strong headaches that put him in bed. The first time I noticed that something was wrong with him was a morning when he didn't get up from bed but he wasn't catatonic as other times. He was fully aware of everything and his eyes were glassy and feverish. He kept them almost closed but even when he wasn't able to show pain, I could see in his look that he wasn't feeling good. I felt desperate when I couldn't get him up and he blinked several times with his body stiff. It wasn't a tantrum. I found that the light hurt his eyes and made him feel worst because he covered his head with the pillow. With the noise was the same. He seemed more sensitive at the sounds than normally.

I knew he was suffering and he couldn't show it and much less tell what was wrong. I called Tsunade and Shizune at the hospital asking them to come to see him. I didn't dare to move him from his bed.

When Shizune arrived alone, because Tsunade was busy with her Hokage's duties, she immediately tested him and told me that Tsunade was coming when she had ended with his obligations. I nodded just worried at my friend. I felt frustrated and very preoccupied. Shizune was a hell of medical ninja and she knew soon what was wrong with Sasuke after the examination she did on him.

Like I had thought this was another symptom from his sickness. She just said that it was more than a simple headache but that some people used to have it and it was a common problem in some people in general. The only strange thing was that Sasuke never had suffered from it and now it was probably that it was caused by the Jutsu that had attacked and damaged him.

She prescribed him another bottle of pills that didn't mess up with the others and told me how to give them to him. She warned me that Sasuke needed them at soon as the headache had appeared to make a quicker and major effect. I nodded feeling sad and depressed at my friend's health and Shizune just smiled sadly and sweetly. Later that day Tsunade came after hearing Shizune's report and stayed with me talking about this new symptom and trying to cheer me up. I had thought that with his hallucinations controlled he was going to be fine and better. But now this had appeared and I was a little shaken in my confidence and hope.

His headaches caused him to faint when he didn't take the pills on time. When they reached a point so unbearable and painful Sasuke couldn't take it anymore and fainted. This happened 3 times before he could adjust to his new medication. Luckily he had fainted every time in home and in his own room. Until now he was still trying to adjust to the dose and that had kept him away from buying toys to his collection. I didn't want him to go out until Tsunade could say that it was ok.

He spent weeks in home painting and reading when he wasn't feeling ill. I knew he wanted to go outside for the way he looked at the window but I knew he understood why he couldn't do it yet because he didn't try it. When Miyu was 10 months old Hinata gave me something to try to cheer him up and go back to his interest at his little girl. Shino and Kiba were there with her visiting us and I saw her extending her hand to me with something square in it. I took it confused and curious and when I saw what it was I was amazed. She just smiled kindly and softly at me.

I had a picture of Miyu in my hand. The little girl was smiling happily dressed in pink and looking straight at the camera with her black and sweet eyes. I asked Hinata how she had gotten it. She was sitting in her little bed.

"Sakura's mom gave it to me. To give it to Sasuke. She said that if he's interested in her we could know it better if he had it with him."

In that same moment Sasuke entered the kitchen slowly and distant and the four of us turned our necks at him gulping and feeling like if he had caught us doing something wrong. Kiba called him to come and he obeyed cold and indifferent. I, hesitant, put the picture in his hands and the four watched him directly and hopeful for his reaction. He didn't do anything and just looked at the little girl with indifference. Then he just left the photograph in the table, took a bottle of water and went to his room again leaving us speechless, confused and sad.

Were we seeing things where there wasn't anything to see? Was Sakura-Chan right about saying he didn't care about his daughter? Why he bought all that toys?

We discussed it frustrated for minutes. When they finally were going I told Hinata to take the photograph to Sakura-Chan but Shino stopped me.

"Leave it here just in case."

He simply said serious as always. I, hopeful still, nodded. With the pass of the days I forgot about the photograph until one night I got up at midnight wanting a glass of water and yawning drink it. Then I went to my room again but I saw light in Sasuke's door. I got closer carefully and quietly and peeped inside opening it barely. I saw my friend sitting at one side of the bed with the lamp lighten up staring at something in his hands. He had his pajama on like me and his hair was a little messy. I focused my sight to the little light in the room and noticed that he has staring longingly at the photograph of Miyu.

Then I remembered that I couldn't find it later and I even thought that I had put it by accident in the garbage. I smiled sadly and glad when I saw him just looking at the picture of the little girl who I was godfather with some intensity and sadness in his black and tired eyes. He stopped looking at it and hided it in one book he always had on the table next to his bed. Then he lied down and went to sleep again after turning off the lamp.

I closed the door and went to my own room feeling somehow happy for the scene I had witnessed. I knew that Sasuke cared about his daughter in his own and maybe incomprehensible way.

The next morning it was the first day that he seemed strong enough to go outside and I let him go with Lee and Neji. When he returned later he had bought another stuffed toy (this time it was a pink and small and funny lamb) and he kept collecting them whenever he wasn't sick or weak and could go the shop with me or any of us.

I caught him looking at the photograph other times when he thought nobody was watching him. We couldn't understand him and he confused us with his erratic behavior but I was pretty sure about his interest in Miyu.

I told this to my friends and Sensei and the Hokage just because it had moved me. But I didn't dare to say anything to Sakura-Chan. It was just that I was happy that Sasuke cared about Miyu enough to react in that way but I didn't want to hurt her again. Besides, Sasuke hadn't done anything else to try to see or be near his baby girl.

But I couldn't help to wonder how he would react if Miyu was in front of him one fine day.

* * *


	12. Rejecting

**NOTES:**

I'm so so so grateful to all of you for reading this story. I read all your reviews. I hope to keep it up with good chapters. I'm only sorry for not updating as soon as I want to do it. Job keeps me away! He, he. At least I have all the story in general till the end.

I'm amazed how it's divided here the support towards Sasuke and Sakura. Some of you want him to be with Miyu and her and others don't. Wow. I'm happy that the story can do things like this in all of you who read it. Thank you for that.

Sasuke will wake up. This sickness of him gives me the opportunity to say "Hey he was a jerk to Sakura and his daughter but he's now sick. He deserves to be forgiven just because of it? Or not? Does he deserve what's happening to him?" Something like that. But I hope that he'll come around. After all he's a ninja. We'll see him more active in the next chapters. Sorry to keep him under the influence of his sickness.

And talking about what I put on chapter 11 in the note, I just put the possibility of the NaruSaku because I have read about it and it really upset me. I was just wondering about the future love life of Sasuke. I want the SasuSaku. I hope for it to happen. But I'm glad I put it because some of you told me interesting and good things about it! I haven't read the lates of the manga. And yes Sennyu Megami I'm at peace after reading your review, thanks! I would love to see that essays of you and your support will be welcome very well. I would love to receive that chapter. I know Karin is beyond crazy and I even afraid of Sasuke because of her.

Hey xx-tenshi-xx I got an idea of one of your saying there in the review. I hope you can catch it in the next chapter! I love your intense dislike against Sasuke in this story. Really . Especially after reading that you're the huggest SasuSaku fan!

I never thought that this story would be good enough to be read and commented. Really. I'm really happy and grateful for that.

Laury I'm glad that this story, quite different of what you like, have been liked by you. Thank you for your words about my writting! (I must say that I would love to write better and longer). About his illness... well I think language and my lack of medicine hadn't done good to explain it (geez... how troublesome ). But I can say this: the symptoms were first his slowing pace and movements, his weakness, his inhability to show pain and cry, his inhability to write or read and get lost easily, then his hallucinations, then his migraine and well there's another one that will appear later. His "catatonic" moments and muteness are another too but they related more to his emotional part than physical (comparing it with other symptoms described before). I creating this sickness by the way . His brain is damaged but the damage it's very hidden and difficult to study to them. His sickness has physical basis and emotional basis too. They can't find out yet who did it and why they cannot understand it because there's a reason (what a mean person I am). Thank you for loving my way of writing.

Thanks to all of you who said that this is one of the best SasuSaku fanfics you could read. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. Thanks to: sasusaku779, luna estrlla, nekyonkichi, sneaky08, C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, Shinobi of life, Sennyu Megami, xx-tenshi-xx, laury and goukashi. I read new ones and I'm happy to see old ones still .

I rated this story with "M" for mature or something like that because I always do that when I put a story (well now I'm only focused in this one ). I do it if in the future the situations go high in violence or whatever and then I don't have to worry about it. And well a friend of one of my friends is pregnant just because one time she and her boyfriend did it without birth control. Just once. So well I think there's a high chance to end up knocked up if you do it without taking care of getting pregnant and I think is different to every woman in this planet. Some could get pregnant easily and others not. There are women of 40 or more that could never had babies until they do it with boys much younger than them. My point is that every body and every woman is different. Sakura ended pregnant after having sex with Sasuke more than one time and she, being a medical ninja, somehow had the idea in her mind of the certain possibility. She considered herself maybe very fertile or Sasuke very effective... (Hmm) ha, ha, don't listen to me anyway. Thanks to all of you! I'll try to update soon. Mata nee!

**Chapter 12**

**Rejecting**

_Naruto__ POV_

When Miyu reached the eleventh month of her young life Sasuke was having a very hard time with his strange illness. His body couldn't adjust yet to the pills for his migraine and because of it he couldn't take all the pills to keep his hallucinations at bay like always till Tsunade and Shizune could discover what the perfect dose was to each one to work properly in him.

And the worst of all was that this morning he had one of his catatonic days. When I woke up and didn't see him in the kitchen or heard him in his room I knew it. I went preoccupied and sad to see him and I found him lying in bed still and with his dead and onyx gaze fixed in the empty space in front of him. His face was a perfect mask of not expression at all. He was just lying there on his left side without moving and with his breathing so calm that you could think he was dead anyway.

The last time I had seen him like this was six weeks ago.

I went to his side feeling terrible sad and just stand looking at him with my eyes watering. I couldn't help to feel so affected at seeing him like that and even when I had witnessed this state of him before five times already since his last return, I couldn't get used to it. I sighed concerned and moved and just pulled the sheets to cover him all. I knew I couldn't do anything; nobody could, when he was in this state. It resembled so much that time when his brother had attacked him before my eyes and he ended like dead with his look lost and his eyes open. Quiet and still as a statue, or more precisely, limp as a doll.

I shocked my head trying to disperse that moment in my mind. I half smiled kindly and put my right hand on top on his in a reassuring way.

"Good morning Sasuke."

And then I left him to have breakfast and take my daily shower. That day I had to go on a mission and it was the first time in all the times when he was like this. I always managed to take care of him in days like this one but now I had a duty to perform. I felt torn at leaving him like that but I knew he would be angry at me if I didn't accomplish my obligation as a ninja. So when I went out of the bathroom I dialed Tsunade's number to ask her who was free to stay with him instead of me. Then I went to his room again and stayed there just talking about trivial and common things, like the mission I had now with Tenten and Chouji and I laughed and pretended to hear his responses and comments about it. But inside my heart ached at perceiving that maybe he couldn't even listen to me lost in his inner world.

"Just leave him in bed till you see a reaction of him. Don't worry; he eventually gets out of it. And when he's out of it please feed him and make him to take a shower to clear his mind."

"You don't have to worry Naruto. Shino and I will be fine."

"In any case if something comes up we'll call Tsunade-Sama."

I nodded grateful and thoughtful at them. My friends hadn't been there in moments like this to watch all day him like that, that's why I explained them everything with sadness flowing in my voice and face.

"It's just that it's the first time that I won't be here in one of his episodes. But thank for coming. I feared that all of you were busy with missions too!"

"Not this time. We returned to Konoha last night precisely."

Neji answered with his calm and collected expression. Hinata was out too for this day with Lee and Shikamaru. Shino looked serious as always at me.

"Well Kiba wanted to come but he was hurt in the mission and he said that he would come by lunch time with some food and snacks. And Ino had training with Sakura."

"Thank God you were free! I thought that I would have to take Sasuke to the hospital to not let him by himself being like this!"

"Well, you don't have to worry about that now. Be careful and come back safely with Tenten and Chouji. _Don't let_ my teammate to be hurt or I'll be upset."

I gulped at Neji's warning and Shino just chuckled behind his high coat's neck. Geez. I didn't know that he had something formal with Tenten. I looked wide eyed and surprised at him. Then I laughed mocking him. Neji just furrowed his brow somehow embarrassed and trying to kill me with his mere stare. Shino chuckled again softly.

"YOU AND TENTEN?! Wow I didn't know!"

"You are so dense sometimes Naruto."

Shino just said now mocking me. I looked at him with narrowed eyes feeling offended.

"That's not true. I don't know how all of you could say that!"

"You're telling me. You the one who didn't see before for many years that Hinata was in love with you. Man you need to be blind or fool to not had seen the signals."

"Stop picking on me Shino! We are supposed to pick on Neji and Tenten!"

"Didn't you have to hurry up Naruto?"

Neji said finally with serious voice indicating that the mocking was over if it had existed anyway. I was being killed by his clear eyes on me and menace and I just sighed disappointed. They were right. When the clock's alarm sounded I got panicked and left running without even closing the door. They just smirked at me and I knew that Sasuke was going to be fine.

* * *

_Neji__ POV_

When Naruto asked us to cover him in taking care of Sasuke we said yes immediately. We did it because after all, Sasuke Uchiha was once our comrade, he was once in the Academy with us, he was once a ninja from Konoha and for some of us was a friend. He was once an ally. We said yes because we thought that it would be easy to take care of someone who just lies in bed all day without doing anything, without saying anything. Naruto lived with him day after day, night after night, and had learnt how to treat him and recognize his mood swings and mute signals and when he wasn't feeling well. But when he told us that Sasuke had woken up in a catatonic state this day we didn't doubt in being capable of taking care of him. We only had to watch him. Just watch till Naruto was able to return home.

But we never thought that watching was so difficult to do.

Especially if you're watching someone you knew since your childhood and if it's someone who once was so different from now. Someone with life in his eyes. Someone who was called talented and skillful and great.

When you're watching someone you knew since the both of you were mere kids you don't expect normally to see that one lying like a limp doll in bed with his eyes open and fixed in some lost point. You don't expect to find his silence so unnerving and heavy after spending minutes with his quiet company and with the anxiety of wanting to run away from the room. You don't expect yourself wondering if he could see you, or hear you. You don't expect to face his indifferent and unchangeable expression second after second. You don't expect to be with that one in this situation ever.

We were wrong thinking this was easier than taking care of him if he was in a normal day. We were wrong.

Kiba, Shino and I had gotten to that conclusion after spending time in taking turns to watch him in his room. We always find him in the same condition. Lying in his left side and covered with the sheets. Still and frozen by time like some sort of tragical photograph. Not even after all he had done and all he could have done, I wanted to see him like this. Even after my dislike of him because he had hurt Sakura deeply and had abandoned his own daughter I didn't want him to see him like this. Did he deserve it? Everyone could give a different opinion on this. But I reserved mine. I didn't like him because of his late behavior like all of us but I didn't specially hate him. And I felt true concern about his behalf like I think normally a person in my position could felt.

But I could understand now how this situation affected Naruto specially so badly. I had heard his complaining and talking sadly about Sasuke's catatonic days and I knew he was barely strong enough to see him like this and less stay with him, taking care of him. Now I understand it. Because I had found myself staring affected and sad at Sasuke Uchiha lying in that bed.

I could understand Naruto's desperation now.

And when Sasuke finally woke up from his daze and stared blinking first slowly and trying to focus his black stare I sighed with relief and feeling the heavy air around the room disappearing. I came closer watching him (Naruto was specific in this) and let him to get out of his inner world and reverie at his own pace.

Sasuke stayed blinking from time to time and letting his onyx eyes wondering in what was in front of him and then he shifted slightly in bed. He sensed my presence and observance minutes later and then slowly he put his blurry gaze in my fixed one and didn't change the indifferent expression in his pale face.

"I'm glad you're back. Naruto went away from today. He had a mission with Chouji and Tenten. He will go back at midnight. Kiba, Shino and I are here."

He just nodded letting me know that he could understand my explanation and I saw him still concerned slowly and hardly sitting and looking at the clock hanging on the wall. The sunset was near.

"Are you hungry? Naruto asked specially to feed you. Like if you were so kind of pet."

My comment made him to glare at me but I could see a hint of amusement in his cold face. I think I even saw him trying to roll his eyes in a knowing way of his best friend' words.

After that brief moment of interaction between the both of us I helped him to get up from bed (he was stiff and tense) and then I left him to get dressed. First the food, then the shower. Those were Naruto's orders. I went to the kitchen and started to prepare the food Kiba had brought earlier. He was playing a game and eating snacks and Shino was reading a book with a very complicated title with words like "how to bring out the bug in you and not die in the trying or end up eaten grossly by it" or something like that. When they saw me coming back from the room and preparing the food the two left what they were doing and looked hopefully and worriedly at me.

"He's awake. Right?"

I nodded at Shino more relaxed.

"He's getting dressed to eat something."

"Does he keep collecting the toys and dolls he buys every time he goes out?"

Kiba asked in low voice and curious while Akamaru was eating his snacks without his master knowing.

"Naruto said yes. I didn't saw any in his room."

"Naruto said he kept them in a box somewhere."

Shino said seriously returning his gaze to his book very interested. Kiba just murmured an "hmm" and then, again in low voice, talked with a funny expression in his face.

"The metal box is inside his closet. On the right corner. I saw it and open it!"

I put the dish with food on the table and a glass with juice and I looked surprised and weirdly at him.

"Were you checking his room while you were supposed to be watching him?"

"I was watching him! I was! But you know…"

"I assure you Kiba Inuzuka that I would never let you in my own room even if I'm dying of diarrhea."

I smirked at Shino's serious words and the offended and shocked face of Kiba.

"Oh great mock me then! I was just curious that's all. And besides he didn't even know what I did."

"Are you sure about that?"

I asked him letting him in silence and a little worried. I knew that Sasuke didn't know it. Probably. But I couldn't help to feel good at the panicked expression Kiba had put on his face after hearing me. I didn't laugh openly. But that didn't mean I could not get a little of fun from time to time and enjoy it. Shino chuckled behind his high collar still reading his book.

Our "funny" moment ended when Sasuke came to the kitchen and sat down in front of his food and started to eat without even looking at us or giving a clue of our presence noticed by him. But after he ended almost all of his food and drink in silence (Kiba playing his game, Shino reading his book and I looking through the window at the sunset) he glanced quickly and knowingly at us, one by one, nodding in a thankful gesture. Then he went to the bathroom to take his shower after Shino said him to do it.

Kiba sent Akamaru to watch him when he was taking his shower and we discovered that Sasuke didn't mind his presence and even let him in the bathroom. I went to his room to clean it a little and remembering Kiba's words I opened the closet carefully and look at the metal box with curiosity. I was, like all of us, still wondering what that collection could mean to him. Thoughtful I kneeled down and opened it without making any sound and peeped inside. I stared longingly at the small stuffed toys and dolls.

It had passed weeks after the dinner we had with Sakura when Naruto brought up the matter to her. She had said "no" when he told her about Sasuke's possibility to want to see his daughter. I had seen the hurt and pain in her green eyes when she was hearing it and thinking it and when her answer came out of her mouth.

So when I closed the metal box, then the closet and then his room's door and went back to the small living room and I saw Shino hunging up the phone I could not believe what was the purpose of the call. I had looked questioningly at him and Kiba was the one who explained it to me.

"It was Ino. She said that Sakura had decided to let Sasuke near Miyu. She will send her with Naruto tomorrow to let Sasuke to see her and know her."

Kiba and Shino were surprised at it like me. We were thoughtful and concerned by the news. We never thought that Sakura would take that decision so soon and specially after knowing she was still hurting and suffering because of Sasuke. We knew it even if she put on a front and smiled and acted natural around us. We didn't say anything moved and preoccupied at her immense effort. She had decided it. After she swore she would never let him to see her, be near her o know his own daughter, the little Miyu. It was unexpected.

"Why do you think she decided that?"

Kiba asked worried and confused. He, like Shino and I, was thinking in the consequences of this change of events. If wasn't that we were against it, after all it was Sakura's daughter and decision, and after all, Sasuke was his father. That would never change not matter what. But we were uneasy about the situation and I feared to see the both more hurt at the end by it.

"Who knows? Women are sometimes understandable and complicated. She had had her reasons. We only could support their decisions."

"You're right Shino. But still there's a little girl in the middle. If Sakura had decided this then she had thought it very carefully. She only wants the best for Miyu. Even if it isn't the best for herself."

Kiba nodded still thinking and after minutes in silence he asked something we had been wondering about.

"Who will tell him? Or Naruto simply will pop up with Miyu in arms tomorrow?

"That's a good question."

"Let's wait for Naruto. Later we could decide how to tell it to Sasuke."

I proposed and my two companions and friends nodded at me. I just watched at the clock hung up in the wall above the stove. Naruto would arrive soon and we'll decide then. After all, it wasn't as difficult and painful as the decision Sakura had to take.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

Everyone wondered how I had taken the decision so soon. I had been thinking in Naruto's words since that night he told me about the presumed interest of Sasuke-Kun in our daughter. I had wondered. I had thought it. I hadn't slept some nights pondering about and feeling my doubts messing with my mind and the reality fighting my little and weak hope. I had cried remembering that fateful night when I told him I was pregnant with his child. I had meditated it. I had fought with myself minute after minute in my free time looking for truths and lies and proofs and consequences.

I had done a deep search inside of me trying to know how to respond to this unexpected, lost and painful fact.

Sasuke-Kun had been buying presents to Miyu (there was no doubt in this, all of they told me even Tsunade-Sensei) and he had done it to prove that he was interested in her. At least he acknowledged her existence.

But I was not happy or pleased at this. Even when I knew that he would stay in Konoha I couldn't help to think that this could happen one fine day. I had get to used to it little by little until I considered a possibility in the deep room of my mind and heart and I learnt how to ignore it because it seemed impossible. Till now.

And the reason was simply: I didn't believe it till I saw it with my own eyes. I wasn't planning in doing it anyway. First I would let others to witness it. Then I would witness it by myself. When I could be sure about his true interest in my little girl. Because you know, I had the sad feeling of knowing that this wasn't true and I knew that I would end up destroyed and pained if I had been right. I cannot still face him, be near him and breathe the same air as him, looking at his adored eyes that swept over me and less talk to him. I was still shaken at his presence. I couldn't take the risk. Not yet.

I had decided it for the simple reason of wanting the reassurance of my choice. I wanted to have proof that I had done right in walking away from him and trying to rebuild my life without him. I wanted to know certainly that I had taken the correct choice even if it was still tearing me apart. I wanted another reason to stop me loving him even little by little. I wanted another reason to move on and go on and start to get over him and just live in peace and focused in my life. I wanted the security of my chosen path. And I didn't want more doubts or wondering in me.

That's what I decided to tell Ino to call Naruto and ask him to come over to pick up Miyu and take her to Sasuke-Kun. I had known from my mother that she even sent a photograph with Hinata to give it to Sasuke-Kun and Naruto had discovered that he indeed took it and had it near him.

When I heard that my rebuild life trembled and I thought deeply in the consideration of his interest in Miyu. Could it be true? If it was true I would be very happy. After all he was his father and I do want him in my little girl's life. Even if I couldn't have him with me, loving me, at least Miyu could have him loving her and caring about her life and existence. I had wanted him to recognize her, and not with his name, no, just accepting the fact that she was indeed her daughter. I was so angry and hurt by his mistrust and cruel words still but if he felt true sorry about it and was able to protect her, and love her and take care of her as the father he was, I could let him do it. It was for Miyu's sake. Even if the memories still stung inside me when he told me that she wasn't his and I couldn't forget or forgive so easily.

But our daughter doesn't have to pay for our mistakes. If she could have her mom and her dad at her side, even in separate ways, then so be it and I would suck up my pride and pain and fury. My eternal sadness. Just because I want the best for her. Even if it's not the best for me.

And if it wasn't true… then I only have another proof of how sincere he was that time. Another proof of how right I was when I talked to him in the hospital. And I will have my little girl only to me. And he would never see her, be near her, or know her. This was the one and last time I would try to believe in him. This was his last opportunity to show me otherwise.

This was my last hope.

But inwardly, I knew that I was right, even if I was praying to be the other way around.

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

"Whatever happens… take her to me even if I'm at the clinic please."

I nodded worried at Sakura-Chan. She was so fragile and tense with all this. I knew she was nervous and fighting her vulnerable hope. She was shaken to her core with what was going to happen. Whatever the way the things went, for better or for worse.

She gave me Miyu who was playing with her hands and making strange and funny sounds and then hung up a big bag on my left shoulder with her things. She let her eyes wander in her little girl longingly and concerned. The love in her eyes was so big and intense that I regretted the fact of not having a mother ever. Miyu was giggling and smiling at me with her beautiful and dark eyes full of innocence and ignorance at the things happening around her.

"Don't worry Sakura-Chan. I will not let anything to harm her. Not even him."

I said seriously meaning it. She nodded with a half smile sad and thoughtful. I knew how difficult this was for her. It was obvious in her posture, in the way she rubbed her hands one against the other. In the way she couldn't lock her emerald eyes with my blue ones. I put my free hand in her shoulder bringing her attention to me and I smiled warmly and kindly at her collected mask.

"Everything will be fine, Sakura-Chan. Whatever happens."

"Thank you Naruto."

She honestly smiled widely at me trying to believe in my support. Then she waved goodbye smiling happily at Miyu who was calm and watchful and I let her behind taking a deep breath and furrowing my brow at the event I was going to witness.

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

The notice that Sasuke was going to see Miyu caught the attention of all of us and the Sensei and Hokage. I arrived with my adopted niece at the Academy sooner that I had expected it. I was so preoccupied and thoughtful that I didn't notice my own way. Last night I had told him about it and when he didn't react badly at the notice I thought he wanted it and was looking forward to it. We decided to meet in the Academy just to have a different environment. Neji, Lee and Tenten accepted even when they were one year older than us.

What happened when I opened the door of our old classroom and then entered with her in my arms was so shocking and expected at the same time, so unexpected and overwhelming, that I'm still recovering from it and wondering about it with strangled confusion and deep concern and intense frustration and real fury. I could not comprehend what happened and it had saddened me and disappointed me so bad that I had ended leaving him behind and alone in my own apartment.

I had opened the door of our classroom feeling hopeful and happy for this. I really wanted Sasuke to see Miyu. I wanted him to hold her and carry her. I wanted her to have his father by her side. All my friends were there excepting Sakura-Chan of course. That day we decided to reunite to train together in our old school, it was one of the fewer days that all of us were at the same time in the village and not busy with some mission. It had matched casually with the fact that Sasuke was going to meet Miyu in a proper way; after all he had seen her in the hospital when Sakura-Chan had pushed him through that window, and we decided to have breakfast together. Lee was going to make his "special" breakfast to all of us even when Neji and Tenten had seemed a little scared by it.

And to be completely honest all of us wanted to see the event we had hoped inwardly to happen.

So I sighed profound before entering the classroom and then I let my feet to guide me. I was counting the steps like if I was a major actor in this play. I was glad and smiling when I saw my friends one by one sitting or standing around the empty classroom. I was saying their names inside my mind nervous but excited and when I finally saw Sasuke's silhouette standing by the end of the classroom and supporting himself in one desk I took control of my legs and went directly to him. Miyu was looking at everyone smiling sweetly because she had known all of us. But she was somehow curious at the mysterious boy with black-bluish hair and black eyes who was now staring at her and me with some kind of dread and shock in his stoic face.

And I knew that something was going wrong. When I saw him looking at her with a shadow of intense rejection I knew it. But I kept myself getting near him until I was merely a few steps from him. My friends were watching too and I could sense their confusion at Sasuke's expression.

Nevertheless I, now serious and daring him, extended my arms holding Miyu who was now looking innocently and welcoming at him. She was dressed in white and yellow and had two tiny ponytails on top of her head. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I felt the air heavy and wanting to suffocate us in that still silence and uneasy feeling. Sasuke had the same face at before and was just narrowing his eyes looking coldly at her.

I was about to tell him something, to make him react; I even wanted to force him to take her in his arms and just hold her and maybe kiss her small forehead. I just wanted a damn reaction, good and sincere reaction, from him. I got angry while the minutes passed one after another and then Miyu in her innocent and understanding way extended her little arms at him making sounds kindly.

That got a reaction of him.

Sasuke blinked and got pretty serious and indifferent. I glared at him angrily and before I was able to speak and scream at him, he stepped back several times without tearing his cold and dark gaze from her. I looked at him wide eyed and with my mouth full open and immensely confused. Sasuke was staring at his little girl with total and true rejection and then he turned around and trying to speed up his slow pace went out of the classroom without looking at any of our friends. I was left speechless and infuriated but I collected myself after noticing that Miyu was feeling uneasy with the whole experience. I held her smiling sadly and saying that everything was fine and I try to reassure my eternal love and protection for her kissing her forehead while she just looked serious and watchful at me with her curious eyes. His same eyes.

When I turned to face my quiet friends I found the same confusion, hurt and angriness I felt. I remember that I gave her to Ino who took Miyu preoccupied at my angry and upset face and I went out of the classroom looking for him. I knew some of our friends followed me worried at my reaction. I found him in the backyard by the old tree. He was supporting himself at it and he didn't sense me coming to him with quick and heavy steps. When I got near him I let the fury in me to concentrate in my fist and I punched him with all my force trembling in confusion, despair and anger. He fell to the ground easily and stayed sitting there without looking up and being totally indifferent at me. I was so caught up by everything that I couldn't still speak.

"Naruto"

I heard Shikamaru calling me. I turned serious at him and faced his contemplative eyes.

"Take him home. I'll bring back Miyu to Sakura. I promised it to her."

Then I turned again at my fallen friend and screamed hurt.

"I supported you with this even knowing that I hurt her! And all for this! You deserved that punch since you run away the last time. Why this has to surprise me now? You always run away anyway! Why you came along then today if you didn't have the intention of meeting your own daughter?!"

I felt some calm after venting out that and I just glared sadly and upset at him.

"It doesn't surprise me that you can still hurt Sakura-Chan. But your own daughter! Do you think that because she's still little she's not affected by this?"

And I turned my back at him and just let him there without gazing back at him once.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

I felt so worried and sympathetic at Naruto. I had been preparing myself for this result since I knew of his "presumed" interest in Miyu. I had considered it to end this way and that's why I didn't felt so crushed and hurt by it. But still it pained and burned and made my eyes to fill up with unshed tears and fill up my throat with silenced screams of agony and frustration.

When I was turn in a person who lost all hope and optimism?

When he had said all that mean things about me and my little girl.

The anger he showed now in his blue eyes were the same I had still inside my aching heart. He had come earlier that I had expected to my job with Hinata by his side and Miyu sleeping in her arms and just looking at his guilty and confused expression and the worried and sad face of her I knew that I had been right all along.

But I didn't felt good knowing I was right. I didn't felt relief or pride on it. I only felt deep and controlled anger and heartbreaking sadness.

"Sakura-Chan… I'm so sorry… you were right… he doesn't… care at all…"

He couldn't bring himself to see me straight in the eyes. I just nodded before asking Hinata what had happened. She explained to me and while I was listening I couldn't help to cry and felt infuriated and depressive. He had hurt my daughter with his rejection even if she couldn't understand it now. He had done that to her twice and now, after he had wasted his last chance, he won't do it ever again in his life.

I knew that this was going to happen. I knew he didn't care a bit about her or about me. I knew it like I knew that he would keep going over and over without saying anything and ignoring the pain he left behind with his runaway. He was like that. He wasn't going to change. I have known it since I slept with him but I had tried to ignore it and believe in a false and fragile dream.

Now I had a strong proof of the useless meaning and existence of that hopeless dream.

I felt so sad. So ridiculous sad. Sadness lived with me all day darkening my life even if I pretended otherwise. I held Naruto giving and receiving at the same time support. I let my tears to fall but I felt intense resignation at this that I didn't felt so desperate and mad as I had felt before. Perhaps my lost of faith and hope had endured me or froze my heart little by little to not feel the extreme and bare truth trying to suffocate me. I got a little worried at noticing this inside my soul, mind and heart. I didn't want to feel like this. I didn't want to lose them in my life. I didn't want to end up being someone coldhearted like him.

I tried to calm myself noticing that this was happening only when I thought about him and only in matters related to him. It was a self defense and I was going to use it all I could to get over this unbearable love.

"It's ok Naruto. I knew this was going to happen. I had expected it. I just wanted to know if there was a small chance before going on. Now I had it. So… you don't' have to worry, right?"

I smiled sincerely at him without crying anymore and he nodded sadly. Then Hinata handed me my sleeping daughter and just looked reassuring me her support and friendship. I nodded grateful at her for her concern and all my friends' worry. I looked at Miyu feeling strong and secure and I bowed to love her and protect her on my own and with my mere hands and life. Like in the beginning it was just me. And I was enough to do it.

* * *

_Naruto__ POV_

I couldn't face Sasuke in home for some days. Finally I had to do it eventually because we lived together after all. He seemed to understand my anger and confusion at his actions and stayed in his room all day and night just painting unrecognizable things with his gaze lost and empty.

That fatal afternoon I returned at home late and checked him up in his room but he was slept. I verified that he was fine and went to my room feeling so bad for Sakura-Chan and Miyu. I left early and came back home late to not see him. In spite of my fury and frustration I kept taking care of him and leaving him food and drinks prepared. I checked up that he was eating and doing well. But I couldn't see him or talk to him. Tsunade, Kakashi-Sensei, Gai-Sensei, Kurenai-Sensei and Anko and even Shizune knew about all and they were worried at me and him living under the same roof. They couldn't understand him either but they seemed to try to find an explanation that I couldn't look or believe it existed because I was still mad at Sasuke. But eventually I went back at sharing time with him and trying to rebuild the friendship when I talked to Kakashi-Sensei who had witnessed the entire scene (I don't know how he did it by the way). He was pretty sure of something going on in Sasuke's mind related with Miyu and he assured that he indeed was interested in his daughter. My soft part tried to believe and started to give me a little of hope that I didn't share with Sakura-Chan anymore. She had had enough pain already.

When Miyu was finally 1 year old and we were preparing her first birthday party I had the same relationship I had with Sasuke before that incident. He at first seemed amazed and distrustful at my attempt of getting closer again after that scene and I caught him looking at me somehow confused and angered. Like if he was trying to understand me and couldn't do it. But eventually he accepted my effort and the things went back as before. To increase my confusion and frustration Sasuke kept buying toys and hiding them in the metal box inside his closet. I found this unnerving after knowing that he didn't want to see Miyu or have the slight interest in her but I let him do it just out of curiosity.

I had asked Shizune to take care of him to be able to go at my niece's party. She wasn't thrilled but she had a lot of work to do to attend the party anyway and accepted it. Miyu was walking and talking now by her own and she could say complete words and names and even phrases. We all were happy and excited about it. Sakura-Chan had cried the first time she called her "momma". I have to buy a good gift for her. Yeah. I have to do that. I will take Sasuke just to see his reaction. I will talk about Miyu even with him there like if it doesn't matter. Just to see him reacting somehow again.

* * *

_Kakashi__ POV_

I met Naruto, Hinata and Sasuke just for casualty. I had been invited to Miyu's party and I, being a famous sensei and almost a grandfather of the little girl, had to buy something spectacular and good. Not all days you have 1 year old anyway.

We ended going shopping together and looking for our definition of the "perfect gift". Hinata being a girl gave us pretty good advices by the way even when I ended up exhausted at Naruto's excitement and stamina. I noticed that Naruto talked about Miyu and her party without caring Sasuke was there and I knew he did it on purpose. But for Sasuke was the same as Naruto just babbling about anything. He just followed us silent and stoic, with ice in his obsidian eyes. He only showed interest when we went to the shop when he bought all the toys he had been collecting. But after that… he was distant and indifferent like always at us and the mention of her daughter's name in Naruto's and Hinata's voices.

When we were deciding where to eat something and rest still looking for the "perfect gift" (Naruto called our quest that way) we surprisingly met Sakura's mother and Miyu by casualty. We saw her coming our way with Miyu in her arms giggling happily and eating a vanilla ice cream. She had taken her for a walk. The woman was so content just laughing and talking to the little girl like if she could understand her. The weird thing in fact it wasn't that we met her without planning it.

The strange thing was that Sasuke was the first to notice them in the middle of the crowd at noon.

We saw him standing still and looking in a straight direction at something or someone and when we followed his intense gaze we were very amazed and somehow confused at his reaction. We didn't say anything and just let him there, watching him with interest and concern. But when he saw that he woman was coming our way and Miyu turned her black eyes to us and said "Nachan" (she called Naruto like that) Sasuke flinched so obviously that we flinched in instinct after him and he turned around and walked the fast he could leaving us there. I could see his face filled with thoughtfulness and fragile coldness. He tried to disguise the intensity his eyes wore in that moment with distance and indifference but I had seen it. Naruto worried tried to run after him and I stopped him.

"Go to say hi to them. Your nice is calling you. Go the both of you. I would handle Sasuke, don't worry."

Naruto just nodded somehow ambivalent at what to do. He was worried for Sasuke, deeply worried. It amazed me and moved me how he still could felt like that about Sasuke even after all that had happened between the two. Hinata took his hand and nodding smiling kindly at me started to walk in Miyu's direction. Naruto left after her looking back at me still concerned and serious and I just smiled openly reassuring him.

Then I went looking for my former student and found him in a park sitting in a bench under a big and old tree. I got near him and sat down noticing that he had sensed my presence and was staring at a point in front of him with lost gaze. He somehow looked defeated and tired. I couldn't help to feel true sadness at looking at him.

"Sasuke, why do you run away every time your daughter is near?"

I knew that he would not answer at me but I continue talking without caring about this true fact. I fixed my gaze in front of me like him just looking at the playground.

"I know that you care about Miyu. I know you are interested in her. I know you felt something for her. I know all that even against all the proofs that could prove me wrong. The only doubt I have is why you keep running away from her. I don't know if you do it because Sakura forbid you to get near her or see her. I don't know if you do it because you feel unworthy of trying to be her father after what you did to Sakura and your little girl. I don't know if it is another reason strong and big enough to keep you reacting like this. But I hope is a good reason. A reason that will not hurt Sakura or Miyu."

I paused sighing exhausted still and I looked at him by the corner of my good eye. He was still and by the spark in his eyes I knew he was listening to me even with his face cold and stoic.

"She's your daughter. I know you know it. You don't have doubts about it and you didn't have to look at her to prove it. Sakura had always only loved you. Just you. Miyu is your daughter and she needs her father. You are her father. You must be there for her. Not matter what problems you could have with her mother or your own problems. She needs you, she needs your protection and love and care. You once had a big family and lost it by unfortunate circumstances."

I saw him shifting his body at the mention of the last. True and sincere sadness filled his black eyes. He was still affected by the past as I had known always.

"You should value more that, and I know you do it, the importance of family. Because you lost all in minutes and by unexpected and confusing facts. So please don't lose this again. Try to grab it and hold into it. You have a chance here. Don't lose it, please Sasuke. You don't have to be alone and trapped in past still thinking in a family that is long ago away. They wouldn't like that for you. Any of them. Trust me on this."

I stopped and saw him shifting and turning his gaze to the other side that I couldn't see. I saw that his breathing was harsh and uneven and that he was blinking and slightly trembling. I heard him gasping and his shoulders went up and down suddenly like if he was crying.

But I knew that he couldn't cry for his sickness.

And I just stared sadly at him understanding that he was trying to cry without success. His body knew the motions about it and his heart and soul wanted the release the cry could bring. But his mind wasn't connecting all this points and he was just left with his intent that was obviously frustrating and angering him.

I felt useless and heartbroken at seeing him like that. I never thought how overwhelming sad could be to watch someone unable to express pain and suffering through something as natural as tears. He curled his fingers in balls of fury and just hit the bench giving up in his failed attempt hurting his hands. Small drops of blood poured out of his cuts but he couldn't show pain even when I knew he felt it. I tried to hold him but he jerked away without looking straight at me still gasping in desperation. I tried to do it again but he stood up so fast that he almost lost his balance. He tried to walk away from me with slow and heavy steps still trying to control his failed attempt of crying.

I sighed knowing that he was going to be difficult but I didn't give up and got up and trapped him in my arms with a supporting embrace without caring for his attempts to let him go. I contained his weak force fighting against mine till he couldn't fight me anymore and went relaxed and calmer in my arms. I rubbed my hands on his back trying to reassuring him my honest words. He didn't hold me back but didn't try to break away from my gesture either. He just stayed there with his head against my right shoulder breathing hard and blinking several times while I kept silent just accompanied him in his frustration until he finally let himself to trust a little and slightly held me back without casting a single glance at me.

I didn't say anything more but I knew what I had to do. Even if later I was probably pushed through a window. I had to do it. I was going to do it. That was all.


	13. Carrying

**Chapter 13**

**Carrying**

_Kakashi POV_

I had planned everything to happen in Miyu's party but unfortunately Sasuke's health got in the middle of my plan. One day before the party he passed out in the middle of the street when he was out with Naruto and Hinata and his headache grew so intense that he couldn't take it anymore and just fainted almost hitting his head on the ground if they weren't there to catch him in his fall. His migraine didn't let him out of bed that day and he stayed in the darkness and quietness suffering and quivering in fever and pain till he could fall sleep thanks to Shizune's care. Naruto had promised Sakura and Miyu to go to her party and he had to leave his friend behind in that condition even worried and sad. But Shizune took excellent care of him and we all had a lot of fun in Miyu's first birthday party.

I had to wait two days more to do what I wanted to do. Sasuke had had a very bad experience this time with his migraine until Tsunade found the exact dose of each of his treatments and he got better soon and healthy again. Well, in the level of healthiness he could be anyway in his current state. In the party I had seen the real sadness and suffering behind Sakura's smiling face and I knew that she was still affected by the positive and real rejection Sasuke had showed to their little girl. I knew of the big effort she was doing to pretend that she was fine after everything and that she was actually moving on in her life. I didn't doubt she was trying hard and succeeding maybe little by little, but I was certain of how long it was taking her and it will take to really get over Sasuke (if one day she could do it actually) and walk a path without his shadow hurting and stalking her.

After that afternoon when I had talked to him in the park and I had seen real pain in Sasuke, real suffering in his failed attempt of crying and how difficult was for him to live somehow trapped inside a half world out of reality and control, I was pretty sure of his care and love for Miyu. I couldn't be wrong. I had a hunch about this and I was going to prove it. I couldn't go on seeing Sakura suffering more about this, I couldn't go on doubting about Sasuke's true care about his daughter and I simply couldn't stay looking at that little girl without knowing a part of what was happening in her broken family. I was going to go great lengths to search for the truth at least concerning Miyu and how important she was in fact to his young father and I was ready to take the blame if everything went bad.

Even if that meant that I had to confront each parent by separate and probably hurt them with my acts and words. Or end up hurt myself.

So that day I knew I had to do it finally. I asked Naruto to take Sasuke to the hospital to a weekly checkup ordered by Tsunade and performed by Shizune and I asked Ino to convince Sakura to let her take Miyu to her monthly checkup instead of her. Sakura agreed reluctantly just because she had a lot of work and her mother too. I only told the Hokage and Shizune about what I was going to do. I told them about my chat with Sasuke that afternoon and how he had reacted at my words. Tsunade had been very preoccupied at it. The two agreed with my thoughts and decided to help me. But thinking in all the consequences perhaps I was being a little excessive and overreacting. Nevertheless I chose to do it in the hospital because it was a logical and credible story for the both of them and besides, I wanted to be near Shizune if I was pushed through a window or beaten up.

When I heard that Shizune was doing her checkup in Sasuke and Ino was going to take Miyu to Sakura's mother after being seen by Tsunade I sighed hearing some medical ninja who were walking in the hall I was standing.

"Isn't it funny that father and daughter had their checkup the same day and at the same hour? That's weird… even Shizune thought that. She said that she had programmed their dates in different days to avoid problems."

Well… Shizune had set right the dates in their agenda but had changed them a bit thanks to me.

"At least Sakura wasn't the one who brought Miyu this time. I don't know what could have happened then."

I sighed feeling guilty about all of this. I didn't tell Sakura what I had planned fearing she would not believe me or deny me. But I didn't tell her because I don't want her to suffer anymore. I don't want to see her more hurt and sad. I don't want to give her false hope and faith. So she doesn't have to know about this at least right now. This was something I had planned myself with Tsunade and Shizune's help and I would take complete responsibility for it.

Shizune opened the door of the room where she had done her checkup to Sasuke and led him out of it claiming my attention. I saw the both of them standing a few meters away from me in the empty hall and by the kind and relaxed expression in her I knew Sasuke had done well in it. I was glad. He had been so sick these late days. He was just staring at her coldly like always listening her indications. Then I turned around at the other door at the end of the hall I was watching knowing Tsunade was there with Ino and Miyu. It seemed that the checkup would take more time that I had expected.

I just closed my eye patiently. I don't have to worry. Shizune would know what to do about it.

* * *

"Come on, I'll take you to eat something. You didn't have breakfast, right?"

Shizune just smiled happily and somehow nervously while Sasuke was glaring thoughtful at her. In fact it was a good excuse to wait for Ino and Miyu and follow Kakashi's plan. Sasuke couldn't eat that morning anything before his checkup. She gestured her hands showing the way to the silent and still dark haired boy with a shaky smile and after heavy minutes of confronting his black eyes he decided to follow her lead. Soon they were walking through the halls of the hospital in silence. She glanced time after time at him seeing if he was coming after her and thinking in all this with trepidation. Kakashi had told her and Tsunade about his plan and belief and they had agreed in giving a try but that didn't mean she couldn't help to feel so tense and stressed about it. She had felt real sadness after hearing that Sasuke in fact couldn't cry and show his emotions and he had attempted anyway to do it failing. The Hokage had been right in her guess about it the first time she had tested him.

But she was confused and angry at him for hurting Sakura and Miyu without caring a bit. She had to act nice because after all she was a medical ninja and she had to go with it till the end. She couldn't treat him differently just because she didn't understand him or was angered at his behavior. She sighed tired and feeling apprehension when they reached the lunch area of the hospital still wondering why Kakashi wasn't there already. Did Tsunade find something wrong in Miyu?

She was still pondering in this serious and concerned thinking that all was going wrong since the beginning when she heard Naruto calling her.

"Hey Shizune! Hey Sasuke! Over here!"

"Naruto-Kun!"

Sasuke walked first in his slow pace than her approaching the table where Naruto was sitting with Hinata and Lee. The last two looked pretty awful and exhausted and starved to death. She then glanced at the next tables around and saw Neji, Tenten, Shikamaru and Kiba in a table on the right and Shino and Chouji in one at the left. Only Naruto looked clean and cheerful in fact. All the others had small cuts and burns in their bodies.

"What happened to all of you?"

She asked preoccupied and scandalized. Shikamaru narrowed his black eyes annoyed and in a bad humor. Naruto gestured Sasuke to take his sit at his side and Shizune sat down in Shino and Chouji's table.

"We had a bad training thanks to someone who didn't show up."

"Hmm?"

"He's talking about Kakashi-Sensei."

Shizune just gulped nervously after Lee's words. Oh right… Kakashi had abandoned them in their special training this day. He had seen the best opportunity to do his plan today and he had decided to leave everything in Shikamaru's hands. But the little problem was that the training was performed in one of the worst areas of the forest and he hadn't told them about all the traps and things he had put there a week ago to train them. Even for Shikamaru it seemed to have been a lot to deal with after having to give orders to a big group of young ninjas.

"Don't complain about it! You're a ninja or not?!"

"You just said that because you didn't have to go."

Naruto just laughed jokingly and embarrassed at Kiba's words scratching his head.

"Well someone had to bring Sasuke to his weekly checkup. That was not my fault."

Sasuke just glared rolling somehow his eyes at his blond friend. Shizune just watched him serious and sad almost imaging him saying "I didn't ask your help" or something like that. In moments like these he was almost the same Sasuke Uchiha all of they knew before his first leaving of Konoha years ago. After he had spent time with Orochimaru he had turned in someone different and colder than before. And now… he always had that tired and distant look in his black eyes full of hidden sadness. Tsunade had told her that the tiredness in his glance wasn't entirely physical. After hearing it and studying it while she was checking him up she had accepted her explanation. That tiredness wasn't only physical and in fact it seemed totally otherwise.

"Can you treat us Shizune? We are aching and suffering!"

"Of course I can Tenten. I'll do it immediately."

"Let's eat first please!"

They all nodded at Chouji's words without commenting anything with their stomachs growling in hunger. It was the first time they all agreed with him.

"Oh come on, you all are exaggerating! It couldn't be that bad!"

"Oh believe us Naruto, it was."

"If I see Kakashi-Sensei in front of me…"

Shino and Kiba just sighed tired and sleepy. Akamaru was sleeping already under his owner's chair. Shizune just half smiled gulping in guiltiness. They ordered and she stayed feeling more and more nervous with every minute that passed. She even ended eating from one of Chouji's dishes just to have something to do. After 10 minutes she finally saw Kakashi coming with Ino carrying Miyu and talking cheerfully with him and Tsunade behind them looking for her and Sasuke. When the blond Hokage crossed looks with her assistant and friend, Shizune nodded slightly and stood up suddenly waiting for them to come.

And the babbling and chatting of the young ninjas around Sasuke Uchiha died after seeing the others coming their way. Naruto had soon his eyes open wide shocked and worried and turned quickly at Sasuke at his left side almost breaking his neck. All the others were shocked and surprised too. Only Chouji was still eating but slowly watching the scene with attention.

Sasuke immediately got stiff and tense and he blinked narrowing his eyes with a hint of hurt in his face. His expression became livelier and sat there staring at the little girl in Ino's arms with his body paralyzed. Naruto saw him serious and daring him to do something like the last time. Ino at seeing her friends there and specifically Sasuke stopped somehow surprised and worried and turned to Kakashi and then the Hokage like asking them in silence what was happening. Kakashi just smiled reassuringly and Tsunade nodded calm at her.

Miyu just looked the persons around her watching her with interest curious and a sweet face and stopped when she couldn't quite recognize the dark haired boy with black eyes staring so intensely and fearful at her. And when she finally remembered him and giggled happily Sasuke got up from his chair so quick and carelessly stepping back and pushing the chair until it fell suddenly with a loud bang to the ground.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

We all were disturbed by the sound of the fallen chair. Sasuke was staring at me and Ino and Tsunade, yes, but he was staring directly at his daughter with dread and something I couldn't quite understand. I saw the hurt and sadness in his pale face. I saw him trembling like if he couldn't exactly decide what to do. And I saw a painful fear I hadn't seen before in those black pools of his.

When Naruto was going to grab him by his left arm to force him to stay, Sasuke was faster even in his weak condition and run for his life to the nearest door he could find open. I just sighed knowing that it wasn't to be easy anyway. So when he was ready to flee from us I appeared in front of him stopping his runaway and covering the door with my body and arms and looking calmly at him. He stayed there watching me angry and breathing hard for using to much force that in fact he hadn't in he now and seeing that I wasn't moving from my spot, run to the other door doing an extreme effort. But Tsunade was already there with her hands on her hips daring him to try something with a menacing and serious look in her honey eyes. She was staring at him with intensity and telling him with that stare that he wasn't going to run this time.

Sasuke glared sulking and furious at her with despair in his body and face. He then went running at the third door but this time a somehow shy Shizune stopped him with a courageous look in her dark eyes. His angriness was losing against his desperation soon and he found himself looking around trying to decide what to do next. He then run to the kitchen of the cafeteria and the three of us looked at each other but this time Shikamaru was the one who appeared of nowhere in front of him and stopped his fleeing. This time it seemed that Sasuke was ready to fight him (probably he knew that he couldn't do anything against me or Tsunade or Shizune) and Naruto grew uneasy at the situation.

But Sasuke lost his fighting stance soon after receiving a definite and daring glare from an annoyed Shikamaru and turned around again looking for a way to escape from there. When I saw that he crossed his look with Miyu's innocent one he flinched and he furrowed his brow with real suffering in his eyes. After seeing that he couldn't get out from there by a door he run to the crystal window and I knew he was ready to break through it even if it was by force and if he ended hurt again. Tsunade and Shizune jerked at realizing this like me and I appeared again in front of him stopping his attempt of breaking the glass with his mere body.

Naruto and the others were just watching us wide eyed and confused, worried and shocked. Just Shikamaru, Neji and Shino seemed able to understand our plan. I appeared so quickly and suddenly before Sasuke that he didn't have time to stop and he threw himself at me almost making me lose my balance. I grabbed him by his arms balancing him and I noticed how tired and affected he was with all this. He tilted his head at one side not wanting to meet my eyes. But I could see him really hurting. He was feeling humiliated too, I knew. He hadn't the strength and velocity to confront any of us and he had to surrender this time at the cost of his own pride.

"Sasuke, do you remember what I told you in the park days ago?"

He didn't react at my words and tried weakly to free himself from my grasp.

"Stop this now. You're only hurting yourself. Please Sasuke. Don't reject her anymore."

But he was still fighting against me and I had to free him looking him so distressful and with his harsh breathing. I sighed sad and saw him walking to the bathroom (the only door we hadn't covered) with slow pace. He entered and closed the door behind him.

Tsunade and Shizune approached the silent and amazed young ninjas and the Hokage took Miyu in her arms explaining them what had happened. I just stayed staring at the bathroom's door with melancholy.

* * *

He found him sitting on the floor in the entrance of the bathroom. There was a small hall with a corner where Sasuke had sat down with his knees against his chest and his chin resting in them looking thoughtful and sad. Kakashi entered and the sounds of his steps were heard in all the small space. He stood watching his former student preoccupied and then he was kneeling in front of him somehow guilty and nostalgic.

"You really don't want to do this, right Sasuke?" The Uchiha didn't react and Kakashi closed his eye with resignation. "All right. I'm sorry. I won't force you to do it if you don't want to. And besides, I don't want to hurt you. Like I don't want to hurt Sakura either. I care about the both of you. So I won't try again anything. But, are you sure about this? Don't you want to see and hold your daughter? Don't you want to meet her? Don't you want to protect her and care for her and love her? This is your chance Sasuke. Please, think it. You could miss her till now. Don't hurt her with your rejection anymore. You had hurt badly her mother and I hadn't forgotten that by the way, any of us. Don't do it with your little girl too."

Sasuke finally gazed at Kakashi listening with attention at him. Kakashi just smiled weakly sincere. The boy's eyes were glazing and shinning with stranded emotion. Then he lowered his gaze again at the floor.

"We'll do what you want."

* * *

"It's better if you take Miyu to Sakura now. I don't think Sasuke will come out if he knows she's still here."

Ino took the little girl from Tsunade who was disappointed and sad.

"I don't understand how Sasuke could do this again!"

"It seems he really doesn't want her near him. That's too sad."

Tsunade just nodded at Naruto who was shaking in anger and frustration and Shizune who was meditating in what had happened minutes ago.

"Well at least we tried. There's nothing more we can do now. This is settled."

"But Tsunade-Sama, Kakashi-Sensei really believed otherwise, regardless everything. He had talked with Sasuke-Kun and he was certain of his intention over Miyu."

"I know. I thought it possible too. But we were mistaken it seems. Like I said, this is settled even if the end wasn't what we had wanted to see. I just hope that he stops hurting Sakura or this is going to end very bad for him."

She added seriously meaning it. She told Ino again to take Miyu to Sakura and ordered Shizune to attend the others' injuries. This was settled. And that was the end.

* * *

_Tsunade POV_

I heard steps at my back and I turned looking curiously at the source. I was shocked and surprised when I saw Sasuke coming our way with Kakashi behind him following closely. The sensei had a calm and relaxed expression and Sasuke was walking slowly and timidly to meet us with his gaze lowered. He was feeling insecure, I could see it. But his hidden stare was full of determination and seriousness.

Finally they were in front of us and Kakashi put a hand over Sasuke's right shoulder in a supporting and decisive way. Like if he was reminding him to act and don't step back like always. All of the young ones and Shizune and I were in silence watching him tentatively and fearing his fleeing again. But Sasuke didn't turn around and didn't try to run anymore. He directed his look at Ino's arms where Miyu was there understanding and calm just smiling sweetly and making sounds and the look in the Uchiha boy got softer suddenly and the small trace of a grin showed up in his lips unfreezing his common coldness and blowing his usual indifference.

I smiled glad and then gestured at Ino telling her in silence to give her to him. Ino nodded somehow nervous still but trusting and she extended her arms with Miyu grabbed to them looking curiously at the mysterious dark haired boy. Sasuke still shy (it was so strange to see him shying over something) extended his own and grabbed the little girl carefully. We saw Ino's hands letting go Miyu and Sasuke's hands taking her at the same time overwhelmed with the meaning and the feeling in the atmosphere around all of us.

Sasuke stared softly and sadly at the little girl while he was carrying her and then she held her lovingly against his chest. Miyu put her little hands on his shoulders playing with his clothes and saying words without understanding and Sasuke rested his face against her little right shoulder carefully and protectively with a lost look in thoughts and feelings we couldn't figure out or understand. But he was calm like I had never seen him since his first return to Konoha months ago. There was peace in his previous troubled expression and the hint of a true and honest smile formed in his hidden lips soon when Miyu started to touch his face smiling and giggling happily. Finally, Kakashi said something that we all knew he couldn't say yet or perhaps never.

"This is your dad Miyu. This is your father, Sasuke Uchiha."

* * *

"Are you ok with this?"

Anko looked by the corner of her eye at the pink haired girl worried.

"Yes. I am. I didn't believe it true but… I'm glad that it is happening."

The girl turned at the Anbu smiling softly and thoughtful. Her green eyes were full of unshed tears and happiness mixed with sadness and suffering.

"Sakura, sweetie, are you sure?"

Anko saw the woman holding preoccupied at the young mother. Sakura just nodded and some tears escaped from her control running through her cheeks. She quickly dried them with the back of her hands trying to calm herself.

"Yes, I'm sure. I know that Sasuke-Kun is her father. And if he feels sorry for hurting and rejecting her and wants to love her and protect her… it's fine. I'm glad for Miyu and for him. It's just that I never thought this possible… ever. I wanted it. For Miyu. I wanted her to have his dad at her side taking care of her. And if this means all that, it's fine with me because all I care is her well being and happiness. It's just that I…"

She started crying smiling sadly and contemplative looking at the scene. Sasuke was still holding tenderly the little girl. Sakura was deeply moved by it and smiled inside remembering marveled how sweet or tender he could be sometimes. She had imagined this so many times… she had desired this so badly…

"I wanted it to be complete. This moment, this happiness I feel in my heart. I want to be with them and be a whole family… but I know it's impossible. There are so many things unsettled between him and me. I know that. I have accepted it. There's still so much pain and hurt inside of me. I can't easily forgive and forget. I cannot have his love. But still this is a happy moment."

She stopped her tears and controlled herself and smiled widely looking how thrilled was her daughter in his father's arms. _Even if I cannot have him you can my sweet girl. That's all that matters Miyu. All that matters._

* * *

_Naruto POV_

Sasuke holding Miyu touched us deeply. We had wanted this moment so bad since we knew of Sakura's pregnancy and later when Miyu was born. I couldn't help to grin happy and widely at seeing my friend accepting his parenthood and carrying her daughter with a visible and honest care and love. He had softened in a way I hadn't seen him a long time ago. We let him be carrying and holding her while he just looked contemplative and calmly at her. Miyu was talking and saying understandable things mixed with sounds. He started to pace slowly rocking her and suddenly she was giggling and laughing touching his cheeks and hair just playing around.

Tenten, Hinata and Ino were touched and saying "awww" or something like that while they were watching him and Miyu. I felt so happy about this. I was so happy for Miyu and for Sasuke and Sakura. Even when they weren't together this was a great thing for them. I felt sad when I thought how things could be different if everything had happened in another way. I just wanted to see my best friends happy. I have wanted to see them together and forming a family. But this gave me hope nonetheless. If Sasuke had taken this step and accept finally the fact that he was the father of Miyu, probably one fine day he could ask Sakura's forgiveness and start to fall in love with her. That was my wish for them. Truly and deeply, sincerely.

"Where's Kakashi-Sensei and Tsunade-Sama?"

I noticed that they weren't there. I hadn't seen them going. Shizune just smiling glad answered Lee's question.

"They had something to do. They'll return in a moment, I'm sure."

I nodded still smiling excited like an idiot and Hinata embraced me shining with my own bliss. We looked at Sasuke carrying Miyu and rocking her in his arms while she was falling sleep and kept her big and onyx eyes slowly closing fixed kindly in her father's face.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"You can hit me or punch me or even be terrible mad at me."

I denied it shocking my head and staring calmly at my former sensei.

"I was very angry at you before, Kakashi-Sensei. I came with fury and chakra filling my fists but when I saw Sasuke-Kun getting near Miyu I just… put it at side. You deserved to be beaten to death but I'll forgive you. Just this time."

"Ah ah I feel better after hearing that. I know I was meddling with your life and your daughters' and even with Sasuke's but I had to know the truth. Don't you too?"

I nodded silently thinking it. I have considered before this when Naruto took Miyu to meet his father. That time he had rejected her with all his might and I had ended thinking that he really didn't care a bit about her. I had always thought that perhaps he did care a little and he had his own reasons to avoid and reject Miyu but that afternoon when Naruto told me what had happened I erased that thought from my mind feeling my fragile hope broken. I have found resignation and acceptance in every thing related to Sasuke-Kun with a lot of pain and effort and lecturing myself over an over. I had decided to never give him again another chance to ask forgiveness to his own daughter. I had took my grudge as a sword and my resentment as a shield to protect myself from him and give me reason enough to maintain him away from Miyu. My mind repeated me that he hadn't cared about her since her conception. And that was strong enough to never give him another opportunity to compensate her even if he came in his knees asking her forgiveness and love after years and years.

I still felt angry somehow. I felt anger at seeing him holding her and carrying her after what he had done and said concerning her. Looking at him now I knew he was acting sincere and he wasn't pretending or lying in any way. I could see it. He was being honest. And that created in me ambivalent feelings of resentment and happiness. Resentment seeing him like that and possibly forgetting all he did and said and happiness seeing him like that and possibly feeling guilty and truly sorry after all he did and said.

But I knew he cared and loved her in his own mysterious way. I saw it in the way he held her and carried her and rocked her in his arms so protectively and lovingly in his own stoic way. A painful doubt assaulted me remembering how he had acted the second time we met in the forest of Konoha and we made love all night long. I had told him I was pregnant with his child and he had made love to me in a way I hadn't recognized the first time we were together and had surprised and moved me. And in that time he was lying. He had accepted his pretense with his mean and harsh words. He had been sweet and gentle and he told me straight in my face that it was only fun and sex to him and the worst part was that I had believed in him.

Can I trust and believe in him now seeing him with Miyu? Were his care and love, protection and behavior true? How can I know it? I was easily fooled before in his arms while we were doing it behind the starry night. Was he fooling me, us, again?

Somehow when I watched him in silence pondering about and falling again in love with him at merely staring his silhouette and rocking our daughter in his embrace I knew that this time he wasn't acting. I knew it. How? I don't exactly know. I knew that what he felt about Miyu in this moment was pure and true, sincere and deep and it was probably because he wanted a family after all and against all odds. One of his goals was to revive his clan. Maybe that brought out his paternal feelings. Either way or other I had to accept it. I could fight with my inner self screaming madly and angrily at him just because now he was acting like a loving father but he wasn't there since the beginning. That was what it was bothering and hurting me still. _He wasn't there since the beginning. That's why I feel so angry still. He didn't want her at first and now he is taking care of her._ I couldn't help to feel mean and guilty feeling and thinking this.

But I felt true glad and happiness and my heart was touched too at seeing him with her like that. He had recognized and accepted her and Miyu would have his father after all. And secretly I felt that if he had proclaimed himself his father was somehow a way of accepting what had happened between us and recognized me as the mother of his child and the woman who was the first one in his life. I knew this sounded egoistic but I couldn't help to feel good about it. I half smiled despised at myself judging my thoughts. In proclaiming himself father of Miyu he had proclaimed our sort of relationship even if it was loveless and unplanned.

Was I so sad and pathetic that I wanted even that little and stupid part for me?

"It's ok Sakura. You don't have to feel delighted with this."

Tsunade-Sensei was looking at me worried and serious like if she had read my mind. I felt ashamed and just nodded lowering my gaze to the ground where there was grass. We were at the hospital's garden. My mother and I had sat down on a bench with Anko and then the Hokage and Kakashi-Sensei met us there. I had come to the hospital when I heard the rumor of Sasuke-Kun being there too. I was so scared and infuriated with the notice. Scared of him hurting and rejecting her again. Infuriated at seeing him near her. My mother met me in my way here and after I hardly explained why I had left the job she decided to come along with me feeling deeply concerned at me.

"It's perfectly healthy and normal to be still angry at Sasuke. Really. You don't have to be so hard on yourself. Just live your emotions as they are. Only in that way you would find your own peace of mind. You are deeply hurt and pained because of him. He acted wrong with you. You have all the reason to feel anger and fury against him."

My mother took my hands in hers caressing them softly and looking suffering and worried at me. Anko and Kakashi-Sensei were in silence watching me concerned and understanding.

"I know Tsunade-Sensei. That's why I cannot see him or be in proximity with him. Because I feel the anger and resentment, this grudge inside of me. And he doesn't care. He hadn't done anything to show me that he cared about me and how much he hurt me. And I feel this love too so strong fighting against all this. And I know that if I see him or had him near me I don't know what could happen. That's why I keep my distance. I'm not asking his love and I'm not even hoping for him to feel sorry. But I have to separate this conflict between us from our roles as Miyu's parents and it's difficult. She doesn't have to pay for our problems. If I love her and he does it too, that's all that matters. If he doesn't hurt her or reject her again, then she will have him as his father."

"You're so strong and had grown up with all this. I'm proud of you. And all of us are. You are separating things and seeing everything as the young and mature woman you are."

My mother just smiled proudly at me. She was right. I was trying to separate things. That's why I wasn't angry at Naruto for living with him, that's why I wasn't angry because all of them were trying to support him and me at the same time and that's why I wasn't totally angry right now at seeing him being actually a father to Miyu.

"Still Sakura, you're right in saying he doesn't care about the damage he had done to you. I hadn't forgotten that by the way."

Kakashi just said it really meaning it and I just blinked confused and somehow wondering about his words. He had forced Sasuke-Kun to act as a father already. By the look of the Hokage I knew she felt the same way.

"Sasuke needs to apologize to you Sakura. Now that he's better."

"Please don't force him. I don't want anymore lies and pretense. I prefer his honesty even if it's cruel than a false apologize or sorry. And besides Miyu is first in all this mess. I don't want to ruin everything just in my own behalf."

"As good hearted as always, Sakura."

Tsunade-Sensei just sighed smiling knowingly at my pleading. Kakashi-Sensei nodded still looking death serious, sad and thoughtful.

"I don't have to do anything to make him realize what he did to you. Life is wise and time is merciless. One fine day he would see by his own how much he hurt you."

Those words caused me to feel somehow uneasy but I just nodded pondering about still shaken with everything. I calmed myself after seeing my mother's hands encircling mine and I left my gaze through the glass seeing Sasuke-Kun with a sleeping Miyu in his arms. He looked at her thoughtfully and sadly. An intent of smile was painted in his tired face.

And I wondered why I felt a strange hunch inside my chest then.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

"That was gross Kakashi-Sensei!"

Tenten screamed angrily.

"You didn't have to put those things there!"

Chouji screamed angrily too.

"I still could feel the damn spines in my ass!"

Everyone stared at Kiba with a weird look. He just felt the red coming to his face and annoyed screamed at them.

"I DIDN'T SEE THE DAMN THINGS THERE!"

I just sighed waving my hands and dismissing with courtesy all their complains. I tried to smile shyly but that made them to grow angrier and I just laughed like a fool feeling sincere sympathy for their suffering. Shino was thoughtful caressing his chin in a knowingly way.

"I never heard someone shouting and screaming so many bad and dirty words before until I heard Shikamaru this morning."

"How troublesome… I shouldn't have asked Temari how Kankuro and Gaara talk when they are angry."

"Sorry boys and girls, it was sincerely a mistake. That space was prepared for Gai and me for a competition. I'm deeply sorry for the disturbances and problems I had caused you sending you to the wrong place."

"You better be Kakashi-Sensei."

"Of course Gai-Sensei could never get hurt in that immense trap!"

I just sighed tired nodding at Neji and Lee who was proudly defending Gai with stars shinning in his black eyes.

They continued babbling and screaming at me and I just nodded feeling sorry for my accidental mistake. I could almost hear Gai laughing in my ear and mocking me. By the corner of my eye I saw Tsunade going to Sasuke with Ino at her side. He looked narrowing his distant eyes at them and I saw surprised and moved how he held tightly the sleeping Miyu in his arms.

"I'm deeply sorry for my mistake. But it was for a good reason, don't you think?"

With that and my dashing half look and hidden smile I left them speechless and meditating it. Tsunade was talking now with Sasuke.

"It's time Sasuke. Ino would take your daughter with her mother."

Sasuke just looked at the honey eyed woman some seconds with indifference and then shot a last sad glance at the little girl in his arms and nodding offered her at the Hokage. Ino took Miyu carefully trying to not wake her up. Sasuke was just staring distantly and empty at her. Tsunade closed her eyes a moment and then just opened them confronting the Uchiha with a serious stance.

"Sakura is her legal representative. You didn't want to give her your name. By law Sakura is the tutor with the support of her parents for being underage still. And she's the one who should decide about when, where and how you could see Miyu again."

Sasuke nodded with a stoic and humble expression. He had accepted her words that in fact where implying something deeper. I had seen through them easily. Ino said goodbye to all of us mocking her friends for their special training courtesy by me by the way and she walked to the exit carrying a sleeping Miyu. Naruto started to mock his friends too and was soon shut up and beaten by all of them. Tsunade left too and ordered Shizune once again to take care of the boys and girls.

I was left observing Sasuke in his still standing and persistent silence. He had followed Ino and Miyu with his dark and tired look till they disappeared at the door and I had seen deep worry and sincere pain in his cold expression.

And I wondered why I didn't felt quite calm after seeing him concerning about his daughter in that intense and preoccupied way.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

If someone had told us what Sasuke would do days later after meeting and accepting being Miyu's father probably I wouldn't had letting him near her ever.

I felt deeply guilty for being the responsible of it that I didn't rest nor I eat or drink anything while I was searching for him. How did has happened?

Well to be completely honest we didn't expect it in any way. We didn't have a clue about his true intentions. And now this was the consequence of our ignorance and faith in someone who seemed to not care about our feelings or was too damaged anyway to quite act like a compassionate human being.

And I think all this and feel so angry and disappointed, so desperate and guilty because I couldn't find them still.

I couldn't find Sasuke and Miyu.

Yes, he had kidnapped her days later after holding and carrying her in the hospital and now he had disappeared from Konoha with her without leaving a clue about it.

The worst was knowing and seeing Sakura destroyed by his unforgiving, unexplained and cruel act against her. She was torn in pain and suffering, hurting crying over and over feeling a fury only a mother could understand and barely breathing and living looking around like all of us for her daughter screaming and shouting and trying to be strong and have her mind cold and logical.

Seeing her like that was terrible hurting. It hurt us all to our core.

Naruto was the other one who was in a rampage of fury and anger searching for him with a lot of stress and tension inside. We didn't understand why Sasuke had taken Miyu in that way without asking Sakura's permission or communicating with one of us. He had kidnapped her. Sakura had agreed to let him see and share time with Miyu and for some days he had done it right. Naruto brought the little girl to his apartment and Sasuke was able to be with her all afternoon in company of one of his friends in case he suffered one of his migraines or if one of his hallucinations grew worst than already was. That day Tenten and Chouji were there accompanied him and Miyu and he had found the way to knock them unconscious and take Miyu with him and then run away leaving Konoha behind again. Tenten and Chouji stayed in hospital all night in observation even when they had regained consciousness soon.

Tsunade was so affected too. She and I were the ones responsible for Sasuke and the Council reminded this to us judging and lecturing. They were right in saying that we had trusted so much in Sasuke Uchiha, someone catalogued as a criminal of S rank and whose name was in the bingo. We had trusted so much in someone who was a certain nuts case, they told us. We had let him kidnap a citizen of Konoha and hurt others. We had to find him and the little girl and let them take urgent and strong measures in controlling him.

We didn't ask or care about the "urgent and strong measures". The Hokage and I were focused in finding him and by consequence Miyu the faster we could. He had left Konoha with her two days ago and now it was late in the night again and I was returning to Konoha after a failed search. I was going to ask for news and then I would go out searching him again. I couldn't stop. I needed to find him.

I was walking at the entrance of the village when I heard shouting and screaming. I recognized the voice because I had heard it before in the same angry tone discussing and run to the source preparing myself in case it was necessary. Near the principal gate of Konoha I watched shocked and relieved at the same time Sasuke with Miyu in his arms and Sakura's father infuriated screaming and approaching him with menace and a dangerous look in his face.

It seemed that Sasuke was trying to return to Konoha with an awake and curious Miyu carried tightly in his embrace and Sakura's father had met him there by casualty and had stopped him feeling angered at him. I knew that Sakura's father was indeed helping out in looking for Sasuke even when he hadn't reconciled with his own daughter. They were still a few meters away from me and when I saw Sasuke holding Miyu with desperation and daring the man to take her away from him I speed up my running fearing for the worst between two fathers trying to protect their daughters in their own way.

When I was nearer Sakura's father was just a meter away from Sasuke and he had raised his fists in balls of fury screaming still at the boy. I couldn't understand quite the screaming. I saw how Sasuke was coldly staring at him without a trace of fear in his distant eyes and then he bent down and left Miyu on the ground by the side of the way. The little girl looked at his grandfather smiling sweetly at recognizing him and called him "Grandpa". Then she turned at Sasuke trying to stand up and called him "Dada". The grandfather stayed seconds looking strangely and somehow moved at Miyu and Sasuke was left out of guard seeing her contemplative and with a slightly sad smile on his lips.

And Sakura's father took that opportunity and threw himself at Sasuke raising his fists and caught him by surprise and punched hardly him quickly almost not giving an opening to Sasuke to defend himself. I noticed that Sasuke was exhausted and weak and even when he tried to free himself from the man not daring to hurt him he wasn't strong enough to confront the mad man.

I arrived on time when the man was ready to knock Sasuke unconscious and put myself between the two stopping the fighting. This time Sakura's father stopped immediately still with his fists showing Sasuke's blood in their knuckles. He didn't lecture me for stopping him and was just staring angrily and seriously at Sasuke. This one by the way was at my back breathing hard and uneven and shaking trying to stand still and not losing his balance. He was pretty beaten up but his gaze was only focused in the little girl who was now seeing the scene crying and fearful and saying "Dada" over an over standing on her own with his big and black eyes puffy and crystal.

Sakura's father heard her crying and lowered his bloodied fists and looked contemplative at her. Then he turned at me.

"Take her to her mother. She needs her."

"Why you don't do it?"

I asked him directly staring. He didn't say anything and just confronted my half gaze with annoyance and irritation and then he pointed at Sasuke.

"And you I remember I told you to stay away from my family. This is the second time. The third one won't be only a warning, did you hear me?"

After seeing him go I sighed releasing the exhaustion and tension from my body and turned angry and serious at Sasuke who was barely standing and looking distantly and indifferent at Miyu who had stopped crying and walked to me holding my legs smiling softly with puffy eyes and watered eyes.

"Kashisei."

I put my right palm over her little head caressing her black-bluish hair and feeling glad of seeing her again safe. I turned at his father and saw him falling to the ground with his eyes barely open. I just looked longingly studying him some minutes until I knelt beside him and checked her vital signals. His pulse was erratic and weak and his breathing was uneven and harsh. But he would recover.

I couldn't say anything to him, lying weak and defeated there. I just remembered Sakura's pained and crying face and I felt my raising anger and confusion, disappointment and sadness gripping my heart. When I saw Miyu trying to touch him I took her and carried her in my arms protectively. She just looked questioning me with strange understanding and weird calm. I called the others through the radio on my ear with a calm and relieved voice.

"I found him and Miyu at the entrance of Konoha. I need help."

And then I stayed looking Sasuke lying there with his eyes narrowed and open with an empty and lost expression in the deepest part of his inside.


	14. Sealing

**Chapter 14 **

**Sealing**

_Sakura POV_

"LET ME IN!"

Shizune was staring deeply worried and scared at me. I wanted her to move from her spot and enter in his room where I knew he was. I was trembling in fury and madness, panting with my eyes still full of tears and suffering. The grudge and hate inside of me were like a monster eating my peace and reason. I was shocked and quivering in exhaustion and tension, with my face still wet from my undying crying and my throat hurt by my intense screaming and shouting. I hadn't eaten. I hadn't slept. I hadn't live these two long days feeling a desperation and frustration that almost killed me with every damn minute passing without Miyu at my side. My mind had thought in all the possibilities and had showed me horrible thoughts about losing my little girl forever. And all because of him. It was always him. My heart ached with a soaring and growing pain that clutched my chest and I lost my mind trapped in the wave of anxiety and desperation that the kidnapping of Miyu had created in all my being. All I was was an open injury, all that long hours without news about her, missing her, worrying to death for her, fearing for her, had bruised me deeply scaring and terrifying me at a level that almost put me in bed if it wasn't for myself who forced my mind to stay awake and cold and don't rest till I had my daughter again in my arms.

"Calm down Sakura, please…"

"LET ME SEE HIM, NOW."

My cold and controlled voice scared her even more and she flinched nervously trying to cover the door behind me. I was barely breathing and my pulse was high and uncontrolled. The coldness and the determination in my emerald eyes were so strong that I could feel Shizune's will quivering at them.

"Let her see him, Shizune."

Naruto had spoken with a voice so deathly serious and without a single emotion, so frozen, that I knew he was the angriest I had ever seen him in all this years I had been with him. He was paralyzed by fury and had curled his fingers in tight fists looking madly at Shizune and the door behind her. Hinata and the others were there in Naruto's apartment after hearing that Miyu was right and back and had returned to support me after the madly hours they had passed looking for her and him around and out of Konoha. They were exhausted like me and I was so grateful to them for helping me out with total devotion and loyalty. Looking at them I knew they were deeply and honestly angry at him for what he had done to me. What he had done to Miyu. He had taken her away from me, away from us. How dare him?!

"Move Shizune. Don't make me move you."

She flinched serious and concerned and she removed herself from the door opening it slowly. I entered at the room with heavy and strong pace followed by Naruto and Shizune stayed behind at the half open door staring preoccupied and I knew she felt the same way as my friends. But she had tried to calm me and freeze my head.

Tsunade-Sensei and Kakashi-Sensei were there with Gai-Sensei. She was sitting in a chair by the right side of the bed writing something in some papers. The two sensei were standing in the corners in front of her. And he was sitting in the bed with his still and unchanging posture staring blankly in front of him. I watched him feeling my body trembling with intense trepidation and hurt. I walked decisive and shaking to him and I felt the looks of Naruto and the sensei upon me. The tears I had controlled since I knew I was going to see him rolled through my face without my permission or will. I started to sob painfully and I furrowed my brow glaring at him while I cried and cried with anger, sadness and stress. I was so mad at him. I had been so scared.

But then he gazed turning slowly to me with that deathly calm eyes of his and I was caught up by the look in them. I was trapped in the emotions so intense and true, destructive and immense that gaze brought out from me. I found myself helpless and enchanted by him and his tired and distant face. He just looked at me with recognition and coldness. He suddenly got up from the bed weakly and bouncing and I, without expecting it in any way, had him in front of me, staring directly at his melancholic and indifferent façade. I saw he had been injured by my own father and presumably Naruto. He had still the signs of it in his face. In some places his skin was slightly bruised and black and blue and healing thanks to Tsunade-Sensei.

And I, feeling still so hurt by everything that had happened in the last two days, ignored the love I felt blowing from every pore of my skin and slapped him straight in the face twice, first his right cheek and then the left with force and shaking hands. The sound of the slapping was like a sword in that blank silence among all of us. He just was standing there still and didn't stop me or try to avoid me. After I slapped him sobbing and looking now hurt and defeated at him, knowing what I was feeling deeply and truly inside that part of my heart I was trying to ignore, that part murmuring me that maybe he had had his reasons to do what he had done, he just locked his dark gaze in me again with his red cheeks and somehow I saw a soft spark of remorse in them.

"Why? Why do you hurt me like this? Please stop… I don't want anymore this… please… Miyu is everything to me and you know it… You know it dammit!" I shouted trembling in despair. "Do you have any idea how I would feel if you take her away without me knowing? Do you have any idea of how much I had suffered? What if something bad happened to you and you couldn't take care of her? You don't have idea of how much I had suffered these damn hours without knowing where you were! You don't have any right to take her away from me! Just because now you want to _play like a father_ doesn't give you any right! I won't let you near her again ever! I won't let you…"

I stopped crying freely and trembling without anymore voice to use. He just was there staring silently and still at me, with his face distant and unmoved.

"I give you a chance… your last chance… but I know you don't care about anything or anyone else besides you I suppose… I would have liked to be otherwise… Why Sasuke-Kun? Why you keep hurting me? Do you find me so damn annoying or do you despise me so much?" I locked my hurt and watery look in his black and blank one and I just realized that he didn't care any bit of my words. I was talking to a wall. That got me angrier. "Get away from us!"

I punched him with my two fists against his chest with fragile and quivering force. I kept hitting him saying the same over and over until tired and drained emotionally without planning it I rested my throbbing head against his chest sobbing sincerely pained. My hands were curled in shaking balls feeling his heart beating so far away thanks to clothes and skin and flesh. Naruto deeply worried took me by my shoulders and forced me to separate from him. Sasuke-Kun was standing looking at me without being even bothered. I calmed myself little by little just staring back at him with anger and despair.

"You know… I thought after seeing you with Miyu that I could be willing to forgive you and try to forget and move on… I was willing to try it really… for her… but with this that you did… that stupid dream and hopeless opportunity has blown away… I just wonder if it cares a little to you…"

I couldn't say anything more. When I saw him glazing at me somehow ashamed and thoughtful and I just laid my green eyes on all his being I felt the cursed and invincible love filling my heart and going to every damn part of my soul and body. I decided then to tear my look away and stop looking at him.

"Come on Sakura-Chan, you need to go home and rest. Go with your daughter."

I just nodded at Naruto and left him guide me outside Sasuke-Kun's room followed by the three silent sensei. I had controlled my crying and struggling and after the five of us left him alone in his room Shizune closed the door carefully and looking at me concerned.

"Sorry for being rude, Shizune."

I apologized to her while I was drying my tears with a handkerchief Hinata had lent me.

"It's fine Sakura. I understand."

She half smiled preoccupied. Tsunade turned at me serious.

"Naruto it's right. Go home Sakura. Here there's nothing else for you. Go and see Miyu."

I just nodded still with my look lowered and fixed in my hands holding the piece of soft cloth. The blond Hokage then turned her attention to the rest of my friends.

"Good job all of you. Go home too, you all need rest."

They all nodded and started to walk to the principal door. They waved goodbye to Naruto and supported me by putting a hand on my shoulder or arm in a reassuring way. I just nodded grateful and half smiling at them. Shizune then held me by my shoulders kindly.

"I'll accompany you to your home. Come on, let's go."

I nodded again without saying anything and just looked one last time at the Hokage and the two sensei with gratefulness and care. Naruto held me tightly with a face very serious and lost in thoughts. I wondered what he was thinking or feeling. When he was holding me I heard his voice in my ear softly and full of determination.

"I won't let him hurt you anymore Sakura-Chan. And I won't forget this easily as before."

I nodded looking worried at him. His light blue eyes usually cheerful and optimistic were now foggy in anger and disappointment. Shizune gestured me to follow her and I let her take me without glancing back at the room where I knew he was probably lost in his inner and solitary world. And I thought that he had always been in there. Without letting anyone to enter or reach him really and deeply. I had always wanted to be that one that could touch his heart in a meaningful way, even if it wasn't as a girlfriend, as a wife or a as lover. And I felt inevitably sad. Because even angered, desperate and infuriated I still felt the sadness.

And all I could do was to let it wash over me completely in the hurt I roomed in my heart.

* * *

_Naruto POV_

"The Council and I will discuss his situation. But for now I guess he has to stay here."

Tsunade said seriously honest.

"I know."

I just said controlling myself in front of them. When Kakashi-Sensei and Gai-Sensei had brought him hours ago I had been so caught up in my turmoil of feelings that I had punched him twice without noticing or caring that he was already injured by Sakura's father. Kakashi-Sensei had stopped me telling me that it was useless to turn violent. All of us were so damn rightly angry at him for taking Miyu away like that. All of us searched for him over and over damn worried and fearing for him and for his daughter. We were so infuriated with him. The confusion his acts created in all of us were immense and it made grow the anger and dread we all had felt in those long hours.

"Gai and I will come to take him to Tsunade's office. You won't have to do it so you can go on with the missions."

I just nodded at Kakashi-Sensei still gripped in thoughtfulness and the painful disappointment and sadness I felt. I had thought like everyone that after the scene in the hospital between Sasuke and Miyu everything was going to work just fine since there. The reality had bruised me deeply. My friend had done something horrible. And I couldn't let it go so easily now. Perhaps all that had happened concerning him it was taking its toll right now inside of me.

"Well, then we should go. You need to rest too. If something happens feel free to call any of us."

"Thank you, Hokage-Sama."

She just looked at me somehow amused and surprised but in question of seconds she was serious and concerned as before. I had thanked her in a very ceremonially way. That meant how affected I was with all this. The three put a hand on my shoulder like my friends had done to Sakura-Chan before trying to be supportive and I just nodded calmly and distant. When they were gone I was left alone in the hall in front of his room thinking in a deathly silence and tension. I pondered about for long minutes till I opened his door and entered trying to make my presence loud and clear.

Sasuke was sitting in his bed staring blankly at the emptiness in front of him. I hadn't seen real regret or shame in his icy eyes. That hurt me more and my anger rose quickly. But I was calmer and my mind was more relaxed and cold. I walked to the closet and opened the door doing a lot of noise and then I bent down and picked up the metal box with the toys he had been collecting all this months. All the toys he had bought for Miyu.

My action finally trapped his lost attention and he looked faintly strangely and seriously at me. I fixed my eyes full of disappointment on his pale and frozen face. I was mad at him. Really mad.

"You know, this doesn't mean anything Sasuke." And I lifted the metal box and saw his dark eyes looking at it apprehensively. "All these toys you bought... don't mean anything at all. When Miyu came to visit you you never dare to show them to her or give any of them to your daughter even when we know you had bought them for her. Before I thought it was weird. Why you didn't give her all these things? I thought you felt still guilty or ashamed. But now... I think you didn't do it because in fact you never were in all this. You only cared by the fact of having a daughter to continue with your heritage and bloodline. Is that true Sasuke? Can you answer me? Can you prove me wrong? With anything."

I waited for a signal of his answer. I hoped against everything and tried to ignore my fury pouring my soul just expecting something from him. I was calmer and controlled than hours ago when I had entered the room ready to hit him infuriated and mad. But that didn't mean that I wasn't feeling exactly the same.

Sasuke just stared coldly and menacing at me. He furrowed his brow slightly in a manner that almost painted a soft hurt in his expression. But he didn't react in any other way. And when he decided to unlock his intense glance from me and his eyes went indifferent and empty, I knew like I had always knew that he wasn't going to give a answer he didn't have anyway. With that posture and looking he was telling me frankly and directly that he didn't give a shit about it. And my anger rose high and fogged my mind and I sighed staring coldly at him.

"All right. It seems nothing that had happened gives a shit to you. You didn't react when Sakura-Chan told you she wouldn't let you near Miyu again. I thought, no, I wanted to see you pleading against that!" I sighed exhausted and tense and looked at the metal closed box that I was carrying and then I glared painfully at my silent former teammate. "I'm sorry Sasuke but I can't go on supporting you when you keep hurting Sakura-Chan over an over without caring. I can't support you anymore when you only have her suffering. I was stupid to believe that maybe you could feel somehow ashamed or guilty or feel remorse or regret after everything you have done to her. I was hoping for you to show her you were somehow sorry. I had forgiven and forgotten the past but this... I can't... anymore. I was waiting and hoping but now..."

I walked to the door and felt his gaze following me. I turned around to find him glazing contemplative at me. I half smiled inwardly to myself feeling deeply sad and frustrated.

"And you don't need these anymore." I gestured at the toys inside the metal box. "Because they don't mean anything. This doesn't show anything."

I said finally with serious stance, cold voice and blurry eyes and I got out from his room taking the path my mind knew already. I felt that he had followed me with his slow and bouncing pace but I didn't turn around to face him. I left the apartment and went to the place where I usually put the garbage to be taken out from the building and I left the metal box there on top of several plastic bags full of crap and garbage. When I turned around to return to the apartment I saw him standing at the opened door still and glazing intensely. I waited for a reaction from him, whatever reaction could be, just a damn reaction. We fixed our gazes in the other for long minutes and I could feel the silent fight between the two of us, without words, without physical force. Just bare and true intention in light blue eyes and profound black eyes. I, waiting for him to react and show something, and him, just staring first lively at me and then letting the common coldness and indifference to take over his being. And after seeing that soft and deep change in him I knew I had waited in vain. I lowered my gaze feeling defeated and fool.

"You can stay with me Sasuke. After all you are my friend. You were at least. I hope to be still your best friend. You need to rest."

I told him sincerely looking up again and I just caught him watching me with narrowed and tired eyes. Then he entered the apartment and I was just standing there alone and confused. I saw by the corner of my eye the metal box with sadness and then I put my back against the garbage container sliding softly till I was sitting there with my knees up supporting my elbows and arms. And I sighed exhausted and sadly looking thoughtful at the ceiling above me.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

It was midnight of that long day. I was sleeping when I heard knocking on my door and I got up confused and sleepy to open it. I turned on the lights and opened the door carefully and slowly with my eye tired and blurry.

Anko was there looking serious and concerned. I tried to wake me up completely at seeing her there.

"Was it is Anko? It's kind of late."

"I know Kakashi, sorry for waking you up especially after the day you had. But it's about..."

And then I saw her half turning to her back and gesturing me to look. I moved myself to watch what she was seeing already and I was surprised and worried immediately. I was still confused and affected by anger and desperation from those two days of searching and waiting but I controlled my feelings and let my thoughts to take over me instead.

Sitting with his back against the wall in front of my door and holding his knees against his chest with his head resting in them and looking straight at the floor with tiredness and emptiness was Sasuke himself.

I narrowed my gaze observing him intensely. He was dressed the same way I had found him with Sakura's father before and had still the last remains of the injuries showing in his face. Anko approached me talking softly in a low voice looking at him concerned and sadly.

"Ibiki and I found him when we were returning from a mission. We heard all that happened with Miyu by the way. When we reached the quarters we saw him trying to enter here and we guessed he wanted to find you. So I bring him and Ibiki went to the Hokage to inform her. You know, now the Council wants to know everything concerning Sasuke Uchiha."

I just nodded at her explanation sighing with sadness. I was still angry at him for what had happened and I was still feeling confused and disappointed. But I couldn't just turn my back on him just like that, I couldn't. And not only because it was my legal responsibility after all. He was once my student and I had shared a lot of time with him when he was still a kid. He was someone dear to me even after all and after everything counting myself and my ambivalent heart and mind.

"Thank you Anko. I would take care of him."

She nodded thoughtful and watching him with contempt like me. I came closer to him and bent down my knees and saw that he had felt my presence and had fixed his frozen look in me with some dare and menace. After seeing me confronting his gaze with calm and opening, the dare and menace were gone and the distance and indifference returned at his onyx eyes.

"Come on Sasuke. You need to rest and sleep."

I helped him preoccupied to get up after seeing him failing due to his weakness. I wondered what he had been doing all those two days with Miyu. He seemed pretty exhausted and weak. Tsunade had checked up Miyu and had found her healthy and in a good shape. Sasuke had taken care of her very good indeed and even he had fed her. But he hadn't taken care of himself as Tsunade has discovered after checking him up in Naruto's apartment and he didn't eat anything in those two days. He probably hadn't eaten anything yet. It seemed he hadn't slept either. The only amazing and surprising thing she had found was that he had taken his medication those two days following the instructions precisely. She had decided to treat him in Naruto's home instead the hospital thinking it wasn't necessary to hospitalized him. Sasuke was just suffering of exhaustion and weakness originated from his own sickness and was starved and dehydrated. He just needed to rest, sleep, eat and drink a lot of water to recover and keep taking his pills.

I just sighed concerned when I lifted him and he was so weak that he didn't reject me and I had to support him entirely with Anko's help. I felt him going almost limp in my arms and together Anko and I took him to my open room and left him lying in my bed carefully. He immediately curled himself in a ball facing the wall and closed his eyes. I covered him with the sheets and observed him in silence a few minutes with Anko's concerned stare on me and him.

"You don't have to take him in Kakashi. You can take him to the hospital."

"No, I don't think so. That's why you didn't take him there either, right?"

I said smiling knowingly and she just snorted amused. Then she sighed tired too and put a hand on my left arm in a friendly and supportive way.

"Yeah. I knew he would be better here with you anyway. Even with what happened or how you probably felt."

"Naruto, Sakura and I were the closest to him before. And speaking of which, can you tell Naruto that Sasuke is with me? I don't want him to worry anymore and so suddenly."

"Of course. I would go to tell him tomorrow very early. Good luck tomorrow with the reunion with the Council,"

"Thank you for everything Anko. Go to rest and sleep, I'll see you tomorrow."

She nodded smiling cheerfully and I closed and locked my door after seeing her walking to her own room in the empty hall. I went to the occupied bed and sat down carefully trying to not wake up my new roommate. Sasuke was deeply slept and his breathing was calm and regular. I wondered why he had come all his way to me and how many hours had taken him to find the right building and floor. Did Naruto know about his absence? Well after all nothing can wake Naruto easily anyway. When he slept he really put all his might on it.

I got up and prepared a bed made of sheets and mantles and pillows on the floor and put myself to rest and try to sleep again in the other part of the room still thinking in all that had happened that day. I wondered why Sasuke had left Naruto's apartment at this late hour. Naruto was even closer to him than me. Did something bad had happened between the two of them?

I tried to sleep still reminding everything that had happened before that awful day.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

"_What you did was pretty bad Sasuke. You kidnapped her and even when she's your own daughter that's a crime and you know it. You take her away without anyone knowing and Sakura's consent. That's bad enough without putting in consideration your own political situation in Konoha."_

_Tsunade stared seriously at the dark haired Uchiha but he was indifferent and lost as he was minutes before when Gai and I had brought him from the exit of Konoha and as he was when she had checked him up and healed his injuries. Gai had left to return Miyu to Sakura. Tsunade wrote something in her papers and then sighing annoyed and worried looked glaring at him._

"_I know you can understand me Sasuke. You aren't too damaged or sick for it thanks God and all of us and you know it. You maybe can be a little confused and lost in the fictional world that is merging with your reality inside your head but you had taken care of yourself in those two days and I'm surprised and relieved to know that. That means that you wanted to be fine enough when you were with Miyu. That means you really worry about her."_

_I lowered my gaze thinking in her words. That was true._

"_But that doesn't erase that all of us are angry and confused for what you did. And the Council has a say on all this. Now I know that you would not speak and explain why you did it and where you were. So it's pointless to try to make you talk. I can do other things to make you talk or communicate in other way, I can put special jutsus on you to achieve it but I fear and know that they probably will hurt you and get you sicker than you already are. Without knowing exactly what happened to you and what is wrong, I can take other measures. I don't want you to lose your mind completely or worse, kill you. But the Council even knowing of this danger could order or try something against you without caring about your behalf. You are a criminal still because you never put the things in clear about your intentions over Konoha. You know all that. So, tomorrow I don't know how everything will go with them but I'll be there to support you."_

_Sasuke suddenly and slowly turned his gaze to her with some surprise and recognition in his intense eyes. Tsunade just nodded somehow amazed but with determination in her honey eyes._

_Then the door flew open with a loud bang and Naruto entered infuriated and with his fists ready to fight and went straight to Sasuke who was sitting in the bed and had glanced coldly at his presence. I wasn't quickly enough to stop Naruto and he punched Sasuke twice before Tsunade stopped him with a loud "Naruto!" and I restrained him in my arms forcing him to step back still fighting mighty against my grip. Sasuke had fallen on the mattress weakened and then he lifted himself with fragile force facing his blond friend with piercing obsidian eyes._

"_Damn you Sasuke! How could you?! Do you know how much she suffered?! Why?!"_

"_Calm down Naruto. Sasuke had received enough welcoming. The violence isn't the way."_

_Naruto calmed after he noticed the injured face of his silent friend. Sasuke had gotten beaten up by Sakura's father and had bruises and cuts in his abdomen, chest and face mainly. Tsunade had treated him but the marks were slowly healing and against his pale skin looked black and blue in the swollen areas._

"_You should try words instead of fists."_

_Naruto just looked menacing at me and I could understand him perfectly. He was angry like me. Like all of us but every one of us reacted different about the same circumstance. Inside of any of us were other feelings besides the anger._

_Someone knocked at the door and Gai peeped inside looking at each of us ending with a lost Sasuke sitting in bed with blood pouring from his lips and nose. Again._

"_I took Miyu to Sakura and her mother. But Sakura wanted to come. She's outside."_

_Tsunade nodded and then turned at Naruto serious and concerned. He was calmer and was just staring hurt and concerned at Sasuke who wasn't putting any kind of attention to any of us or the pain Naruto's fists had provoked in his face or the blood running free._

"_Naruto go there and try to support and help your friend before entering here. Gai, Kakashi and I need some time, alright?"_

_He just nodded mad and hurt and then went out of the room shooting a last pained look to Sasuke. When the door was closed thanks to Gai who went to the other corner of the room looking at the bed with interest, Tsunade sighed annoyed and tired._

"_It seems you're the last favorite's person in their list right now, Uchiha."_

_She said and started to check his injuries again healing him immediately. Sasuke just let her work on him without locking eyes with any of us._

_I crossed looks with Gai and I knew like him that this was going to be bad for Sasuke. The Council said that they were going to take urgent and strong measures against Sasuke for everything he represented and for what he had done this last time. They were still pretty freaked out of him. I hadn't thought in the last the Council had said to the Hokage and me being so worried and desperate to find Sasuke and Miyu the sooner we could. But now with him here again and her safe, I couldn't help to wonder what the Council will order tomorrow at the meeting we would have with them. And I deeply and sincerely worried about Sasuke._

"_Tomorrow at noon. The Council scheduled the meeting to talk to you and the Hokage about Sasuke Uchiha and the responsibility you have over him. But they don't want him there."_

_Tsunade and I turned our looks confused and pondering about the last to our friend. Sasuke had reacted a little lowering his gaze while narrowing his eyes in realization. The blond sannin finished healing him still fixing her gaze in Gai's face._

"_Hmm. I see. Alright, thank you Gai."_

_He just nodded vehemently and respectful at her. I watched Sasuke's stance that was again lost and distant at us. So I was right. The Council still feels wary about anything related to the Uchiha. And that made my worry to grow bigger and deeper. I had a bad feeling about the resolution of the meeting even with Tsunade at our side. _

_Because you know, even with Sasuke's story and past and what he had done lately, I knew that he truly wasn't evil. Yes he had let his heart to be darkened, yes he had made bad choices and followed bad paths, yes he was coldhearted and keep himself away from people and not only emotionally. I knew it like I knew my own name. If he had taken his daughter away it wasn't part of some evil plan. And I knew he hadn't planned anything that was happening to him. I just know it and I was grateful to have Tsunade's sharing of it at my side especially tomorrow._

* * *

"The Council had already decided Hokage-Sama. There's nothing else to discuss or say in this meeting."

"Wait a minute."

"No, Tsunade-Sama with all respect. We arranged this meeting only to tell you what we had planned about Sasuke Uchiha staying in Konoha. We told you and Kakashi-Sensei that we would take urgent and strong measures over him. It's necessary."

"And your plans consists in send him and isolate him in a special prison or put him under some special surveillance? I'm not saying to not take measures in this. I only want to discuss the possibilities."

Tsunade was staring decisive and serious one by one the members of the Council of Konoha. Kakashi was sitting outside the principal table that formed the complete government of the village. He was only invited to be there due to his responsibility about Sasuke. Just for that but he knew he didn't have any right to talk or intervene. He had to trust in Tsunade but he couldn't help to feel concerned and anxious about it. One by one the members talked exposing their point of view.

"Yes. It's fair. He is still labeled as an S ranked criminal with his name in the bingo."

"But he hadn't done anything else against Konoha since more than a year ago. And our investigations had proven it. His name and status as a missing nin and S ranked criminal in the bingo will be removed since tomorrow. He will be a citizen of this village again."

The Council seemed surprised and caught off of their guard. Tsunade was still and fierce defending her posture and speech.

"We didn't know it."

"I'm sorry. I had had a lot of things to take care of."

"Still Sasuke Uchiha is a danger to himself and to others if it is true that he's sick."

"You doubt it? You have seen the results of the innumerable tests I had run on him. Medical ninja sent by you in person had checked him up and my investigations. You don't have any right to doubt my word. I'm the Hokage and the people of this village and Konoha itself is the priority in my life. I will do what I have to do to protect all. If you're trying to imply that I'm defending Sasuke Uchiha for personal reasons I must say you're wrong. Of course I care about him and his future because he's a part of Konoha. His clan was one of the founders of this great village. I must take responsibility for him. He was an excellent asset before. And after what we know about the planning and murdering of all his family and relatives I must say we don't have any right to simply judge. We all made mistakes and sacrificed things and persons."

They all were shut up by her honest and clear words. Kakashi noticed they paled under her sincere and daring honey gaze. She continued talking after a long pause.

"Sasuke Uchiha helped Konoha at the end. We all know how that happened. He almost dies for it. I was confused and worried because he didn't do anything to stay after that and sort out the things with our government but I thought it was natural after the grudge he grew against it for what happened with his clan. But now I don't see him trying anything in any of you or even me."

"He planned to kill us. He planned to destroy the Council."

"Yes he did. Is he doing it now? No. He had all the human right to want revenge even when I disapproved it completely. It was shameful and horrible what this Council planned and did." She stared at them one by one with narrowing eyes full of disgust. "That was more than a year ago I had already stated. If he hadn't done it till now, why would we have to think that he wants revenge now? Like I said I considered this deeply and seriously because I have to think in your life too and all the people in the village. But I'm certain in saying that he isn't looking for the same as months before and I will find a way to make him to compensate what he did against us and Konoha. So you don't have to worry. You have my word of keeping you safe. If Sasuke Uchiha was still a menace to this village in any way I would take measures to stop him. I would not hesitate. I'm the Hokage."

"Well and what about now with this "sickness" he has? Putting aside all you said and taking it as true, he's mentally unstable. He's a walking danger. Maybe not as before but being crazy he could do a lot of damage. He kidnapped his own daughter!"

"His strange sickness that not even you can reverse or heal put him in a dangerous state. We need to protect our citizens."

"We are afraid of his mental and emotional instability. With that and all this council's support we can imprison him in a special place to keep him away from the normal people. We don't think he would care anyway. By the reports we had received from our sources it seems he's too lost to communicate or live with people."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes feeling angered. Maybe Sasuke had his moments of solitude and rejection of the world but he was still capable of living with other persons like Naruto or him. They were trying to take advantage of his sickness to imprison him now that they couldn't completely do it for his status as a criminal now cleared or his past debts.

"I had given him treatment and he's doing fine and getting better as a "normal person". But I know and accept that I have to do something to guarantee some sort of control over him for his own sake and his daughter's and all of us."

"That's the point of this meeting at the end. You claimed yourself one of his legal representatives and your responsibility along with Kakashi-Sensei when he returned and stayed here. So as you know it by now you don't have a say in this final decision over him. You can't be neutral. You didn't think it clearly when you declared yourself responsible for him."

Tsunade furrowed her brow glaring at them but keeping quiet. Kakashi sighed concerned knowing they were right.

"So we won't do anything against him because he's not anymore a missing nin or a S ranked criminal. Or for his past debts. We all have past debts and we accepted it. But we decided something taking his sickness and dangerousness for it in consideration. We won't send him to any other special place. We won't isolate him from people. You claimed you wanted to give him a chance to have a "normal" life and compensate his actions. Well, we would grant that."

"What have you decided to do with him?"

"We'll go for the other option we explained to both of you. We won't imprison him but we're going to put him under a special control. In that way he would have the opportunity you're asking for him, of living normally and compensating his debts against Konoha and its government."

"We had talked with the Hyuga Clan and they had been ordered to help us. They would take the responsibility of creating and putting some special control over Sasuke Uchiha."

Tsunade was silent listening at them and understanding perfectly like me what they were implying in reality. They had ordered Hinata's father to create and perform a special seal to control Sasuke. I narrowed my eyes wondering what kind of specifications they had ordered to the Head of Clan the seal must cover. Gladly Tsunade was thinking the same as me.

"You ordered the Head of the Hyuga Clan to create and put a special seal in Sasuke Uchiha. How ironic. He had been freed from the one Orochimaru put in him years ago. And now... you will put another to control him."

"Yes. So you don't have right to go against it. Calling yourself responsible for him you lost your neutrality in this. You condemn him to be judged without your neutral defense."

"I know that."

She said regretfully and annoyed to be remembered of it. I know she was thinking how fool she had been. When Sasuke had returned to Konoha the Council had wanted to imprison him immediately without caring of his strange illness or his actual intentions. She had felt the pressure of defending him and the best way she could do it at the moment was declaring her legally responsible for him. Her word and charge were stronger than mine. I just supported her because I knew she couldn't take completely care of Sasuke. She was the Hokage. The Council had forced her skillfully to lose her vote and opinion in Sasuke's matter since the beginning. So they still feared and were freaked out of him. And I have the feeling that they wanted to get rid of him.

"I accept your decision. What kind of specifications the special seal will have over him?"

"We're glad you accepted it. The special seal will prevent him to escape from Konoha. If he tries to run away the special seal will stop him not matter what. It will give you and us an easy way to locate Sasuke Uchiha in case we couldn't find him quickly. It will prevent him to hurt badly others with his regular powers. We know that being an Uchiha there is some part of his heritage and bloodline, and therefore, abilities and power that it could not be contained or controlled entirely. He developed an amazing strength and power before. We are aware of that. But at least if there's some form of helping us to control him we'll use it. "

"What if he needs to use his regular power and force in special circumstances?"

"The special seal has a way to work. It will force him in an unconscious way to separate circumstances. If he needs to use his power and strength he would be able to do it. Only if it is necessary. We hope he won't use that part we won't be able to control for his own good. We expect his mind to be able to handle that specification from the special seal."

I knew what they were talking about. Mangekyou Sharingan and other abilities Sasuke had learned besides his own power as a member of the Uchiha Clan. And they didn't care as Tsunade had said about what could happen to him in the process of getting the special seal.

"The special seal will operate till his death. And being performed by the Hyuga Clan it will be impossible for Sasuke Uchiha to do something about it."

I saw Tsunade clutching her fists seriously thinking. Like me she felt there was something behind all this. And I had the bad feeling that we hadn't hear everything this decision could bring in the future.

"So this meeting is over. I hope you don't have any more doubts or things to say, Hokage-Sama. Kakashi-Sensei" I looked at the man who had talked and gestured to me to stand up. "You have to take Sasuke Uchiha to the main house of the principal family of the Hyuga Clan today at sunset."

"We heard that Sasuke Uchiha had left Naruto Uzumaki's house. We suppose you're going to take care of him now, right? O do we have to settle that too?"

I simply nodded still and thoughtful. So they already knew that. I nodded affirmatively. Tsunade got up from her seat shining in her imposing charge and person.

"Then this is over. I'll thing in some way to let Sasuke Uchiha to compensate his past actions against us. That's my decision and I hope you don't have a problem with that." They looked at each other communicating in silence and nodding. "Alright. But I want to say a last thing before going. I hope you have decided for the best interest of everyone including Sasuke Uchiha's. I hope you were really neutral and fair in all you planned. I'm still responsible for him and for that it's my obligation to stand up for him and defend him and stop him if something goes wrong. He has my support."

She closed her eyes showing her firm tone of voice and feeling and then nodded respectfully at them and turned around going to the exit. I did the same reverence and left following her closely. The both of us were silent and thinking in all we had listened. When the blond Hokage crossed her serious look with mine I knew I hadn't misunderstood the reality behind that meeting.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

When I returned at my room I found Sasuke already awake watching intensely and melancholic the picture I had of him, Naruto and Sakura with me when we were the Team 7. I didn't wake him up before going to the meeting with Tsunade and the Council wanting him to rest and sleep some more. I had been right when I saw him better and less pale and not weakened as last night.

He didn't hear me entering the room because I had been quiet and careful thinking that he was probably still sleeping. I observed him with contempt with the picture in both of his hands staring. He let one of his fingers to run over the crystal protecting it with slowly and nostalgic pace and he let it linger more time in Sakura's face. With all that had happened since he disappeared with Miyu I had been losing my anger and disappointment at him. Now his situation required me to stand up for him and I had to do it even feeling still affected in confusion about his behavior.

I was legally responsible for him. I had accepted to take care of him now that Sasuke had left Naruto's company it seems. I hadn't seen Anko or Naruto so I didn't know exactly what had happened between the two friends but I was certain in thinking that Sasuke had decided to leave Naruto's house for good.

I approached him making my steps loud to be noticed by him. I didn't want to startle him or give him the wrong idea of being spying on him. He heard me and turned his cold gaze at me leaving soon the picture in its place again and then lowered his head still and with his always somehow elegant and daring posture. I sat down beside him in the bed sighing.

"Well, I guess you and I will be together for now."

He tried to stand up and I didn't let him stopping him by his arm softly. He didn't look up at me.

"I don't mean that I don't want to. In fact I'm glad you're here. So now I have to talk to you about the meeting the Hokage and I had with the Council and what they decided to do with you. Then you'll take a shower, I'll bring you new clothes and we'll eat something. I guess you hadn't eaten anything yet."

The only thing that betrayed his indifferent demeanor was his stomach growling suddenly. I smiled amused and I felt his humiliation about it and saw it in his slightly red face.

"We'll do what the Council ordered. Tomorrow I would think if it's better to get you the room next to mine or if it's better for us to move to a bigger place. And we'll go to Naruto's house to gather your belongings and clothes."

When I said Naruto's name his dark look fixed in me and I see the feeling of anxiety and rejection.

"You don't want to go back? Naruto is your best friend. He cares deeply and truly about you against everything you could think of. You don't have idea. Are you angry at him?"

He denied me with a short shock of his head and I found myself surprised realizing it was the first time I was somehow communicating with him.

"Then why do you left him and why you don't want to see him now?"

Sasuke turned his gaze avoiding my question and concerned stare. I caught him looking sadly at the picture again with eyes lost in a very away past. Somehow moved I understand what he was thinking and I paused before speaking with calm voice.

"That's something the people do when they think it's the better for them. To not hurt the other."

He didn't react and I guessed that maybe I had misunderstood him. But there was another matter at the hand. I forced him to put all his attention and look at me and seriously I explained to him the meeting and the decision over his life and future that it will be performed at sunset by orders of the Council. He listened at me putting all the attention he could gather between his real world (I talking calmly) and his unreal world (his hallucinations always there that I could sense when he shifted his body suddenly looking something invisible). When I ended my explanation he just lowered and turned his look coldly and distant avoiding me again. His face was softly disgusted.

I assured him that everything would turn right and that I will be there for him always. I saw him glaring at me when I smiled sincerely worried. I knew he didn't like or was used to share deeper things with other person. He perhaps thought that I was pretty preoccupied or seeing him fragile about it. And that was something Sasuke Uchiha didn't tolerate or accept even if it was true and he knew it inwardly.

So when we arrived at the meeting with the Head of the Hyuga Clan I reminded him that I was there simply smiling honestly at him. And I knew that Sasuke remember it when I had taken his hand in the middle of the process with his closed eyes and I had felt him squeezing it with slight force and needing support.

* * *

_Hinata POV_

"How are you doing with Naruto?"

"Fine… it's fine…"

"I'm glad to hear that."

I simply nodded still feeling somehow awkward when I had to talk to Neji. We were cousins, our father were twins and our familiarity was deep enough only for that. But for circumstances we hadn't been together like this when we were younger and I was still somehow shy and nervous when I had to be with him. After my father had talked with him when he was defeated by Naruto-Kun in that Chunnin Exam everything between Neji and our family started to change little by little. He even trained sometimes with him. My little sister did it too.

But I was happy to not feel the same when I was with him. Now he truly showed that he cared about me as the cousins we were and I sincerely cared about him. I guess it was just time what I needed still to feel completely at peace when I had to be sharing space and time with him.

"How's Tenten?"

I dared to ask worried about her. We kept walking in the principal house while he was taking minutes to answer me.

"She's fine. Sasuke didn't hit her badly. That doesn't mean that I'm not angered at him for hurting her."

I smiled nodding kindly. I could see clearly how much he cared deeply about her. I didn't know exactly if he felt something deeper for her. Neji was someone who didn't share or show his inner feelings so easily. But seeing Tenten I was pretty sure that there was something intense going on between the two. He was ready to ask me something when we stopped seeing surprised and confused Kakashi-Sensei and Sasuke entering at my house and following a friend of my father and a Hyuga too. We stared the pair wondering about their presence there.

Sasuke was following his former sensei with his common slow pace and with his look fixed at his feet. Kakashi-Sensei was walking calmly and with a very serious expression in his half covered face. Neji turned to me asking with his mere stare if I knew something and I denied it concerned and pondering about it. The two entered my father's room and the door was closed immediately behind them. Neji gestured me to go with him and see what was happening but the noises of steps stopped us in our spot.

"Where are you going? Hinata, Neji."

My father was there behind us looking deathly serious. We both turned to face him and I noticed the special clothing he was wearing but Neji was the first one to say something about it.

"Why you dated Kakashi-Sensei and Sasuke Uchiha?"

"That's not a matter important to any of you. I won't be able to train with any of you today or have dinner. You can accompany Hanabi of course."

He simply said calmly and thoughtful. Neji furrowed his brow deeply narrowing his eyes still facing him directly. Something I wasn't still able to do with my own father. I was just worried at seeing him dressed like that and knowing of Kakashi-Sensei and Sasuke there. Suddenly I saw that Neji had realized something because he was amazed and then got serious in matter of seconds.

"That dressing. And when I saw you searching through the personal library of all our clan… you're going to perform a ceremony. You're going to put a seal in… Sasuke…"

I took my hands to my mouth covering a noise of surprise and just looked confusedly and worried at my father. He had heard Neji's words and then just sighed and snorted half smiling softly.

"Clever as ever, Neji."

"But…why father?"

It was the first time I talked in the chat but I couldn't help myself. Sasuke Uchiha was a dearest friend of Naruto-Kun, he was his best friend almost his brother. And Naruto-Kun had been so depressed and sad with everything that had happened and mostly by Sasuke's leaving his apartment. Neji was still staring demanding an answer at my father who suddenly seemed tired and concerned.

"Because the Council ordered me. I can't refuse. Don't ask me anymore now. I had to do my duty. I shouldn't have told you anything."

He ordered us firm and decisive and restarted his pace trying to leave us behind. Neji turned around to him thinking.

"You know what it means to put a seal in someone who isn't entirely fine either physically or emotionally. You know about the danger. You could hurt him severely. Or even kill him. And by the way I saw you looking through the books I guess the seal isn't easy or simple."

My father had stopped lost in thoughts. Then he simply watched us seriously and understanding by the corner of his eye. The both of us were surprised and concerned.

"Don't worry. I'll do my best. I won't hurt or kill your friend. It's for the best. Believe me."

Then he just entered the room where we knew Sasuke was with Kakashi-Sensei. Neji and I crossed looks preoccupied and questioning. What Neji had said left me very worried about Sasuke's behalf. I just kept seeing Naruto's sad face in my mind and I felt my heart crushed by it.

"Let's go Hinata. Maybe we could not see everything but still…"

I nodded and when he extended his hand to me gesturing me to follow his lead I didn't hesitate and took it nodding with true and definitive affirmation in my eyes.

* * *

_Neji POV_

We couldn't see a lot happening in the special room where Hiashi-Sama, Kakashi-Sensei and Sasuke were. Still we heard them talking softly and seriously.

"You'll do it by yourself?"

Kakashi-Sensei asked somehow worried.

"Yes. I don't want to blame someone else if something bad happens."

Said Hiashi-Sama sighing sadly and tired. It seemed he didn't agree with this but he had to do it anyway like he had told us.

"But don't worry Kakashi. I won't let him to be hurt or kill. I would not forget myself if something like that happens. I didn't agree with this. I don't like it."

"I know Hiashi-Sama. But I'm grateful you agreed to do it. I have complete confidence in you. If you had refused they probably would have found someone else to do it."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I even told them about the dangerousness of the thing they wanted to do in someone sick as Uchiha. But they didn't listen. I'm sorry to say this and maybe I'm wrong but I think they don't care honestly if he dies in the process. And they told me without actually saying it that I wouldn't be blamed or punished if I accidentally kill him."

There was a long pause. Hinata held me realizing what we were hearing. She was shocked as me.

"Tsunade-Sama and I suspected that anyway."

"And you know… I even told them that being him the last active Uchiha alive it was unnecessary to put him through this. But they told me straight that he had already a daughter. You know what that means, right?"

I supposed Kakashi-Sensei simply nodded when there was only silence for seconds between the two men.

"Well, let's do it Kakashi."

"Are you going to sleep him or something?"

"No. He needs to be awake. It will be extremely painful only for moments."

"Alright. Let's go. We can't wait forever for something it has to be done anyway."

Then there was silence. Hinata and I stayed thinking and looking at each other communicating the shock and concern we felt in hearing all this. I knew better than her what the high possibilities were for Sasuke to be forever hurt or die if Hiashi-Sama didn't perform the sealing correctly. It was a pretty high risk to put a seal in someone who had his mind divided between reality and fiction. We tried to find a way to look into the room and see the ceremony but we couldn't do it first. We couldn't even hear anything else. Just whispering. We decided to stay anyway in case we were able to catch something and just supported ourselves against the wall in silence preoccupied and meditating.

The sealing ceremony took two whole hours to be completed. Hinata and I just kept there without saying anything, without daring to talk and be discovered by Hiashi-Sama or Kakashi-Sensei. Hinata grew more and more concerned and I could see she was thinking in Naruto when I saw her glassy and clear blue eyes and her clutching hands trapped one with the other.

I was angry at Sasuke for what he had done. But I've never thought in wishing him to have to go through something like this. I remembered when I had gotten my own seal because of the family tradition. A seal will always be a seal not matter what purpose held.

The only time we were able to see what was happening inside the room was when Hinata and I looked through a small hole in the wall. We couldn't use Byukugan in that room. It was Hiashi-Sama's special room and we were forbidden to try to enter or see inside it without permission, so the room had a jutsu against the users of Byukugan. I glimpsed at Sasuke lying in the floor inside a painted circle with strange and foreign signs in red. Kakashi-Sensei was there beside him and he was taking his right hand in his own gazing thoughtfully and worried at the Uchiha who was with his eyes closed and his face showing a slight hint of a deep pain. Hiashi-Sama was on the other empty side with his hands encircling Sasuke's pale face and murmuring something with his stare fixed at the Uchiha's forehead.

So he had put it there like the one I had on my own face. I curled my fists feeling tense and somehow angered by the past. But I got relaxed when I sensed that Hinata was very affected by the scene and I decided to leave the place. We couldn't see very well and hear anything clear. It was pointless to stay there and probably be caught by any of them.

We were sitting outside the main house facing the principal door when we heard footsteps and saw Hiashi-Sama going out of the room exhausted and lost in thought. He walked his way without noticing us until he turned his distant gaze and confronted our looks directed intentionally and questioning at him.

"Don't worry. Sasuke Uchiha will be fine by tomorrow. I told you."

He tried to smile but failed still trapped in his own doubts and thoughts and Hinata and I crossed looks feeling relieved and still wondering about everything. The Council had ordered this. I repeated myself. Then when we got up we saw Kakashi-Sensei going out of the room too dragging a weak and almost limp awake Sasuke. The sensei put the left arm of Sasuke across his shoulders and held him firmly by his waist. We saw that Sasuke could barely walk or move and had his furrowed brow fixed in the empty space in front of him.

Kakashi-Sensei sensed our intense and worried stare and looked at us surprised and then just smiled tiredly and kindly waving a goodbye to us. We didn't react still perplexed at the actions we had witnessed and he soon was gone with Sasuke in silence just as they had come earlier.


	15. Drowning

**Chapter 15**

**Drowning**

"Why you didn't tell me anything Kakashi-Sensei?"

The man only sighed before answering Naruto's question. He could see the hurt and feel of betrayal in his light and bright blue eyes. They were at the former room of Sasuke in Naruto's house.

"Because the Council asked Tsunade-Sama and me to be quiet about it. They didn't want rumors out there worrying uselessly the people. And everything happened very soon. I'm sorry Naruto. Please forgive me."

He had talked sincerely and the young blond felt it. He nodded still sad and thoughtful.

"I was going to tell you anyway. When all of you see Sasuke again you would notice it anyway."

"Neji and Hinata didn't see it."

"The special seal was still working its way through Sasuke's mind and body. It was fairly visible then. But believe me, now it's very clear and tattooed in his forehead."

Kakashi kept putting Sasuke's belongings and clothes in boxes. The only thing that Sasuke had brought with him from his friend's house was the picture of Miyu and Kakashi had found it interesting and touching. Naruto was supposedly to help Kakashi but he hadn't done anything visibly affected by the last news about his best friend. First, Sasuke had left him in the middle of the night and didn't return home and it seemed he had decided to move with Kakashi. Then Neji and Hinata had told him and the rest of his friends what they had witnessed the last afternoon regarding Sasuke. Kakashi could comprehend Naruto's blue and preoccupied mood.

"He's fine Naruto. He's getting stronger and with his treatments he's doing well. The sealing ceremony just provoked high fever and deep weakness all night long but today at morning Sasuke was fine. He has always been a strong person."

"Why? Why he didn't return? Is he… mad at me?"

Kakashi stopped packing his former and sick student's things and turned to Naruto seeing sadly and touched the incredible and sincere hurt in his not so common serious face. Naruto had his eyes fixed inside the box he had been trying to fill with Sasuke's belongings. They were extremely sad and guilty.

"I can give you the answer I think it is. But I can't guarantee it as Sasuke's answer. But I think he left your house and company because he didn't want to hurt you anymore. I think he sees and believes he hurt you deeply with the kidnapping of Miyu. I think Sasuke tried to apart you and avoid you thinking he was only causing you trouble. And he knows you are Sakura's best friend too. He probably thought that you needed him away in support of her."

Naruto had gazed at him questionably and thinking hard in his words. He seemed to realize something and just narrowed his bright eyes nostalgic.

"That's my guess but you know Sasuke. We can't be sure about anything he thinks or feels truly. I know he's not angry at you. Not even after what you did with his collection by the way."

Naruto's face went red in remorse and guiltiness at the last sentence. Anko had told Kakashi about it after talking with Naruto yesterday in person and passing Kakashi's message as he had asked her to do it. Naruto told her about the incident between the two of them and he was desperate and going crazy worrying with guilt and ambivalent anger when he had discovered that Sasuke was missing again.

"I felt bad about that. Really. But I was so angry at him. And I wanted a reaction from him. And to tell you the truth… I didn't believe it will hurt him."

"I don't know if it actually hurt him. You're the only one who could tell it because you were with him when it happened. But in my belief… I think that what you did with his collection hurt him in some way or woke him up."

"I can't tell it… I don't know."

Naruto honestly said frustrated with his gaze lost in those moments. Kakashi rested a hand in his right shoulder concerned at him.

"You're still mad at him for taking away Miyu and hurting Sakura. But you're worried for your friend too. I can recommend you to stay away some time to think and clear the confusion you feel. If you go and see him and try to talk to him you would probably feel torn between your ambivalent feelings towards Sasuke. Your friendship could be more damaged. Give you time to settle your own thoughts."

Naruto nodded grateful at his former master and restarted his actions putting his best friend's things in the boxes. They didn't say anything while they were packing until they had finished and the both were looking at the closed boxes.

"Where are you two going to live?"

Naruto asked calmer and sad but trying to be his usual self.

"Well I don't have to move from my room at the quarters. I was able to get the next room at the right to be occupied by Sasuke. In fact I think the Council would feel more at ease knowing he's surrounded by Jounins and Anbus. Well, I have to go now Naruto. Gai, Lee and I would come at afternoon to pick up the boxes."

"Alright. You know where I put the other key."

Kakashi nodded casting a last and kind smile to the young shinobi and then waved goodbye at him and went to the main door followed by a silent and distant Naruto. They just crossed looks before the sensei went out and Kakashi was glad to see his former student smiling softly.

When the door was closed behind him Kakashi let out a profound sigh and stood there simply thinking.

_Sasuke doesn't understand completely how much Naruto cares about him. Sometimes I think he doesn't understand even me or his other friends. That's the problem when you isolate yourself for so much time._

He started to walk when he almost tripped over Hinata who was coming to visit Naruto. He didn't know he was so immerse in his thoughts. And he could understand the shy girl who was as lost in thought as he was.

"Oh hello Hinata."

He said after he caught her when the both stumbled on the other. She greeted him with a slight reverence and smiled sweet with a soft red in her cheeks full of embarrassment.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-Sensei!"

"I'm sorry too. I guess the two of us were a little distracted."

He scratched his head chuckling lightly. She nodded less awkwardly and looked at the man with soft concern.

"Did you come to see Naruto-Kun?"

"You could say so. But I came to help him packing Sasuke's things."

"Oh… I see."

He could saw visibly how she had worried more after hearing him. Kakashi narrowed his eyes turning at the door left behind him melancholically.

"Hinata please try to cheer Naruto up. He's a little depressed right now."

"I know. He's been like that since Sasuke left his house. I think he blames himself and feels useless and unworthy for not being able to help his best friend and protect Sakura and Miyu at the same time. For Naruto-Kun you and Sakura and Sasuke are like his family. He never had one. He grew up especially with all of you. He must felt like he's losing his family and he can't do anything about it."

I listened surprised and touched at her simple and caring and very accurate words. She was facing the door with sadness and concern but there was always the inevitable and truly sweetness in her very clear eyes.

_When you are someone who observe more than act you learn to watch and know the people without words._

"I see. Naruto must feel the luckiest man in having you at his side."

She turned her gaze at me quickly and I grinned sincerely seeing her face going red and she stuttering and smiling nervously.

"Why… why you say that Kakashi-Sensei?"

She was able to say at last.

"Because it's true. And I can go now knowing you're with him. See you later Hinata. Say hello to your father for me."

The half masked man waved cheerfully goodbye and then went away. The pretty and shy girl looked him till he reached the stairs and then extended her hand worriedly trying to open the door knowing that the one behind it was the person she loved the most.

* * *

_Hinata POV_

Naruto-Kun and I decided to eat in his house. He wasn't in a very good mood to go out. I cooked and I knew how hard he tried to be happy and funny with me there. For me it was still so strange to be there with him without anyone else. Before I could surely faint knowing I was alone with the boy I had loved since little and it took me a lot of time and self-confidence to be with him in moments like this without going mute or nervous.

Well, more mute and nervous anyway.

He told me what Kakashi-Sensei had said to him in his visit. I just listened worried and loving feeling guilty sometimes for falling in my own observation and just get lost in every detail of his face. I always ended enchanted in my watching when it was Naruto-Kun.

"I'm so sorry Hina-San."

He said smiling softly and sadly looking straight at me with guilt in his voice. He always called me like that when we decided to date and then be girlfriend and boyfriend and we were alone. He had told me that he couldn't do it in public because of my status as the heiress of the Hyuga Clan and he didn't want to show disrespect with nicknames even when we were in love and that's why he had decided to treat me normally in front of other people, especially after he heard rumors going on about the disapproval of our relationship in the high levels of my clan. But when we were together he started to call me Hina-San. He said that he didn't chose "Chan" because he still felt awkward dating someone as important and worthy as me. I think he feels minimized because he didn't belong to a famous, big and antique clan even being the son of the Fourth Hokage. Even with the dream and sure probability of one day be the Hokage himself.

"Why are you sorry Naruto-Kun?"

"For talking about my problems. For be in this mood… I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't burden you with all this mess."

I shocked my head smiling and looking at him concerned and contemplative.

"You don't have to. You're talking about your family, right? One part of being together… being a couple… I think is this… to share and support the other… in bad and good times… I'm happy because I'm being counted for you."

I smiled wide and sincerely lowering my shy gaze a little. He surprised me extending his right hand and letting his fingers running through my hair with delicacy. He smiled honestly grateful, marveled and loving at me. My face got redder when his hand caressed my right cheek.

"Oh God, how pretty you are! Sometimes I forgot it. I must be a fool."

He chuckled and laughed cheerfully and I was just trapped in his blue eyes and his sincere and open laugh and the little and deep sadness still clinging from his eyes.

"You're so pretty in every way I can think! Geez I was such a clumsy and stupid. Thank you Hina-San."

I just nodded with my face slightly red and looking dazzled and adoringly at him. I smiled calming myself and remembering that he was my boyfriend already and I shouldn't feel so nervous around him anymore. He then gave me a little and sweet kiss on the lips and then hugged me tightly and protecting me.

"I don't know… how someone can hurt the one who cares deeply about you… who even loves you so much… that's why I won't do it ever Hina-San… I promise you."

"Naruto-Kun…"

I knew he was talking about Sasuke and Sakura and I felt sad remembering them. They deserved to be together, like a family, loving each other. Because you know, even after all I had always the hunch that Sasuke had chosen Sakura to be with him not for a shallow reason. I didn't think he was like that. I still think it. But I hadn't said anything because it was only a hunch and I didn't want to bring back painful hope to anyone.

"Let's go, Hina-San. I want to go out and walk."

He left go of me and stood up taking my hand cheerful and optimistic like always. I just smiled happily seeing him like that and I still blushed a little when I let him guide me outside his apartment.

* * *

The morning after the sealing ceremony Kakashi took Sasuke to the place where he had tested Team 7 the first time under his command years ago. He had been thinking over and over while he was taking care of him in that long night in some way to help Sasuke to win again the Council's trust and freedom and compensate for his past acts against Konoha like Tsunade had said. Sasuke had lost his right to see or be near again Miyu even legally by himself. He had a restriction order to do it due to the kidnapping thanks to Sakura's father who wasn't still able to see her or Miyu but worried about their well being. Sakura was angry and sad and Naruto had followed his advice and had put distance for some time between him and the Uchiha. Kakashi really thought that Sasuke believed Naruto was mad and disappointed of him. That's why he had decided to move from his apartment and stop seeing him. And of course, all the other young ninjas were confused and angry at his behavior. And for the last, he had lost part of his liberty and himself with the seal imposed in him and limiting his own heritage and bloodline. It was almost like if the seal had taken a part of his own body and soul. He was a caged bird like Neji had called himself years ago.

So, Sasuke was alone now. And he only had Kakashi. And Kakashi knew it.

That's why after pondering about a lot Kakashi got to the conclusion of helping Sasuke to regain the only thing that had mattered to him since the death of his clan and family. That's why he had talked with Tsunade about it to have her consent and opinion. After all, the two were his legal defenses against everything.

* * *

_Kakashi's POV_

"_What do you think?"_

_Tsunade didn't answer immediately. She put a wet cloth in Sasuke's forehead while she was watching him shivering and slightly sweating breathing harshly._

"_You know he won't be the same shinobi he was before."_

"_I know. In his current state and with the seal he won't. But at least he can be an excellent ninja and do great. He had trained all his life and I knew he didn't only choose the life of the shinobi for revenge and seek of power. He's good at it. He liked it."_

"_I know. In his current state and with the seal he won't. But at least he can be an excellent ninja and do great. He had trained all his life and I knew he didn't only choose the life of the shinobi for revenge and seek of power. He's good at it. He liked it."_

"_You are aware of the dangerousness of turning him a reliable and strong ninja again. His hallucinations. That's something you would have to think about. Until now they hadn't hurt anyone or him but if you give him again the hope of returning as a shinobi you would give him the weapons he could use without knowing if he loses control over himself. His pills helps him, that's true, but the other part of his treatment depends in his will and self confidence, faith and control over himself. It's a two way street. And the end could turn bad. And besides there's the seal's working. I'm sure if it is for training or doing missions he'll be able to use his regular power and abilities. If he has to use them to protect or save someone. But we don't know how much the seal can decide over him or help him to choose. And how strong it could be to stop him if there's the need to do it."_

"_I know. But I want to believe in him. I want to try and help him in the only way I know I can. And besides, Sasuke is strong and I know he would find a way to handle with his fictional world. Sasuke has a strong will and he showed it when he had Orochimaru's seal and he was able to control it. We'll find the way. I will find the way."_

_Tsunade stared at him for long minutes seriously and Kakashi just smiled sincere. She finally sighed deeply tired and gazing again at the dark haired boy sleeping._

"_Alright. I'll support you in this. You have my permission and consent."_

"_You won't regret it. Thank you, Hokage-Sama. In this way he could start to compensate his past deeds and have a new life and welcoming in the village."_

"_In all these months there have been different opinions and reactions at his presence and staying in Konoha. It's natural. Some people are afraid, others are mad, others are offended and others forgive and move on. The welcoming to Sasuke hadn't been quite open and warm and he had faced rejection and despise. Good thing is that he isn't the social type or he's to immerse in his half unreal reality or he had friends before. That's true. And more with what he did to Sakura and Miyu his reputation grew darker and more negative among the people of the village. I really hope you can accomplish what you're saying. I want to believe." She stood up turning around to face Kakashi. "He will be fine by tomorrow morning. It's just a high fever originated from the sealing. But if he gets worst you can call me or Shizune."_

"_Thank you."_

"_No problem. After all I am his legal representative. Be careful, please. Don't get the things to get worst."_

"_I won't. I promise."_

* * *

When other people hear about what Kakashi was attempting to do they weren't as open minded like the blond Hokage or supporting. Gai, Anko and Kurenai had said almost the same as Tsunade and they thought it was better for Sasuke's sake to have a calm and peaceful life away from fights and missions. His friends were worried and somehow hesitated about it. Naruto had brightened when he had heard about it but it was the only one who really was optimistic and supported till the end his friend. Sakura, by the other hand, had reacted similar to her friends and she had preoccupied trying not to show it in front of her former master and saying that Sasuke's life it wasn't of her interest. But Kakashi knew how she had worried and suffered after hearing of the sealing ordered by the Council over Sasuke. He could see she had cried and was pained still by the fate the boy she still loved so much had forged with his own actions.

Sasuke had agreed to train under his orders again. At least he followed Kakashi without showing any sign of the otherwise. The sensei didn't exactly know why he had accepted it so easily and his mind wondered about it curiously. Did Sasuke want to still be an active ninja? Did he accept it because he didn't have anything else to do? Did he miss his life as a shinobi? Did he want to compensate his acts against his homeland? Kakashi pondered and pondered over and over. Perhaps the answer laid in the four main questions he has asked himself. But nevertheless Kakashi was glad to have acceptance from his part in this plan.

The first thing Kakashi tried to test and prove was how damaged was Sasuke in his training and abilities. He tested him all the morning sparring with him and had discovered that the basics were well and ready in his former student and that the seal let him to use his regular power and abilities just like Tsunade had guessed but it was plenty obvious how it limited Sasuke in the using if you knew the Uchiha from before. He had worried about it thinking that maybe Sasuke had forgotten things learned years ago since he was in the Academy or perhaps the seal would be a hard obstacle in his attempting of training and helping Sasuke. Strangely and marveling was the fact that Sasuke could perform his ninjutsus even without voicing them out loud. He had seen the dark haired boy mouthing the names of the jutsus belonging to the Uchiha Clan and others jutsus and they had worked fine considering the circumstances of Sasuke's health and the ruling presence of the seal. He wondered if there was other person capable of doing something as amazing like that in the world and left him wondering about Sasuke's muteness. Maybe the source of his silence was helping him to do the ninjutsus even without voicing them.

In the Taijutsu Sasuke was less effective, quick and powerful than before. This part it was affected in him and it was notorious to the people who knew the Uchiha previously. His always permanent and slow pace, movements and rhythm were still there even when he was better and healthier than other occasions when he had been suffering from his sickness. His Taijutsu was tainted because of it and Kakashi found him in a Genin level and probably in a Chunin level if he put major effort in its training. His Ninjutsu was in a Chunin level and probably in a Jounin level if he trained hard. So Kakashi was glad and relieved to see that Sasuke was a capable ninja still and he hadn't forgotten a lot.

But when he tested his learning in Genjutsu he found bigger problems than the ones he encountered with his Taijutsu.

When Sasuke was tested in Ninjutsu and Taijutsu Kakashi had watched that he got tired more easily than any other perfectly healthy person but still it was fine in his own level and he could defend and attack and do missions, not very dangerous missions, but he could do some. Then the Genjutsu came and Sasuke couldn't perform any of it easily or more precisely good. In fact when Kakashi had told him that they were going to train with Genjutsu's techniques he had seen clearly the rejection and wary look in the black eyes' boy. The irony of all was that the Uchiha Clan had exceptional techniques about it and they were famous, powerful and dangerous for it. They could master Genjutsu excellently. And Sasuke being capable of using Mangekyou Sharingan was even above of the general users of his own dead people.

In fact Sasuke was never really interested in using Genjutsu at least in his younger years. He relied in Taijutsu and Ninjutsu doing it greatly. Anyway Kakashi tested him in this third part of the training of a ninja and found him in a scarcely Genin level. He knew that even training hard and deep Sasuke would not easily get better at it. This time Sasuke was less prepared and able to perform any kind of Genjutsu and much less he was unprotected and unprepared against a Genjutsu attack. Kakashi thought after seeing him trying hopelessly that the Uchiha probably and certainly couldn't perform his former ability of using Genjutsu easily and wonderfully because his own hallucinations got in the way. It seemed that using any kind of Genjutsu affected his control over them and tainted his treatment with the pills. He lost soon his calm behavior showed before at the testing of Taijutsu and Ninjutsu and Kakashi observed concerned and curious how he got stressed, frustrated and tired and how the hallucinations grew in his traumatized mind making him to lose concentration and confidence. So he decided to let the Genjutsu out of question at least for now.

He forced Sasuke to take breaks and rest knowing and remembering Tsunade's advice. Sasuke was unable to show physical pain or it was so minimal his chance to do it that it was dangerous to put him under training without knowing how he was feeling or if he had hurt himself sparring with his partner. He had to watch him seriously and be aware of details if he wanted to have Sasuke in a good shape and healthy.

So the training went on even when Kakashi had moments when he had to focus Sasuke after seeing him losing against his own ill mind. That was the biggest obstacle and problem for his good performing. Sasuke now was unable of being the excellent ninja he was before and probably he would not be like that again the rest of his life. But Kakashi was sure he could help him to be at least a good and reliable shinobi from Konoha and he was having problems dealing with the loss of concentration and confidence Sasuke suffered when his hallucinations started to intensify even with the pills of his treatment. He had to find why Sasuke lost his control in the treatment while he was training and fighting and how to battle against it letting the Uchiha to do a good performance. So the sensei really hoped against all odds to be able to help his former and best student without caring what could take to accomplish it.

But he shouldn't have forgotten Tsunade's opinion about it.

The fifth day of their training something happened that put in question Kakashi's plan in giving him the chance to return to his shinobi life. Something that put in danger Sasuke's own resolve in training and the little trust all the people who knew him had put in this idea.

That day Tsunade's words from that night were mysteriously and weirdly foreshadowing in Kakashi's mind clear and loud. Sharp and true as a bad omen clinging over his head.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

_That morning something terrible and awful happened when I was training Sasuke. I hadn't thought it possible, and I think it's weird that I hadn't considered it. I could have expected something like this if I was training someone mentally unstable. But I didn't think it could affect me. Did I think he had me clear in his half real world?_

_I cannot remember well what happened and that says how I ended after the incident. I only remember I was sparring with him and we had a pretty good fight between the both of us, he was using Taijutsu and some Ninjutsu the best he could in his state. I had gotten used to see him sometimes lost in empty space staring or apparently hearing things I couldn't hear. When the training grew longer it was visible how exhausted Sasuke was and how that affected his own control in the hallucinations. So I had found a major problem there._

_The pills and his own will helped him greatly and in the best way they could when he was living a normal life. He still saw or heard things around him and his reality was mixed with fiction probably created from memories or inner and deeper thoughts and feelings inside his heart. But he could lead an almost normal life. But when the normal life was changed by training and possibly doing missions the things were different and they turned dangerous especially to Sasuke. It seemed that the stress and concentration originated and needed by the fighting broke with that delicate balance Sasuke found in normal life. I still was wondering and studying all this questioning myself the reason behind this change. Why Sasuke lost it easier and quicker when he was training instead if he was just living normally? Why he lost concentration and confidence in his actions and decisions? Was the seal working properly or had provoked this problem without knowing it? Or it was only Sasuke the one with the answer?_

_I had gotten so deep and focused in my observation and pondering that I was distracted only for a few seconds. And that little amount of time was enough._

_I had seen Sasuke became restless and distracted too and losing against his unreal world. He was somehow desperate and I was surprised to see that sincere and pained desperation pictured in his red sharingan eyes. I saw suffering in the soft line of his furrowed brow and his hesitating movements and attacks. I saw anger directed at him mostly. And I didn't stop him when my intuition told me to do it. I know I should have stop him when I saw him lost in control and concentration and unable of continuing the training in that moment but my curiosity at seeing where this was going and where it was taking him won over me._

_And I paid the price._

_Severely._

_Sasuke lost it completely and attacked me fiercely and with all his might. His Taijutsu was so unexpected by a distracted and surprised me that the intense and straight force used by him in the kicks and punches throw me out of my balance and control and made me flew some meters until my beaten and hurt body was stopped by a tree which I must say I broke in two just with the impact of crashing at it. I felt asphyxiated and shocked and gasped desperately for air and I could feel the blood running from a deep and painful gash on my head and for other parts of my broken skin. I even felt my left arm broken and my right ankle twisted._

_I didn't lose consciousness just because I'm not a famous Jounin for nothing._

_After that my sight was blurred and I couldn't move any part of my limp body lying in the grass. I felt nauseous and a temblor run through me making me to moan in pain and suffering. I remember I heard him approaching me quickly and I felt his presence at my right side. Then I heard other footsteps coming our way and my head went spinning fast and hurtful and I finally closed my black eye feeling myself falling in the calm and warm grasp of the unconsciousness. The last I heard was Gai's voice asking me to open my eye and other's Jounin voices directing at Sasuke but I couldn't comprehend what they said._

_I woke up late in the night in a room of the hospital. Anko was there with me and she was seriously concerned for my behalf. But when I opened my eye and said her name with a crooked smile she sighed chuckling in relief. I asked her what had happened and how long I had been out._

"_Sasuke attacked you badly and intentionally with all the force he could gather in his present state. You have been unconscious for 10 hours. We were very worried. Tsunade-Sama said that she was preoccupied for the injury in your head but you'll be fine in some days."_

_I nodded and watched her serious and hesitating face. I knew why she was looking at me like that._

"_You said Sasuke attacked me intentionally. How do you know?"_

"_You didn't see it?" I denied her with a shock from my head. "Gai and Kurenai were near you when they saw clearly that Sasuke attacked you directly as if he was targeting you as an enemy. They tried to warn you and then came to help you but it was too late."_

"_He was targeting me as an enemy?"_

_She nodded concerned and somehow nervously. I just thought in her words longingly._

"_Was he seeing me as an enemy? With hatred or any other feeling?"_

_Anko stared at me questionably like if I was saying weird and alarming things but just nodded before answering me._

"_Gai and Kurenai said that he was staring at you with some dread and hesitation. Yeah, those were the words they both used."_

"_Where's Sasuke now? I'm the one who cares of him now and if I'm here then"_

"_He's with Gai. Kurenai had to go home with her son. But she stayed with them some hours at afternoon. I've been here since you arrived."_

_I smiled grateful at her and I took her hand thinking in the entire incident. Anko seemed surprised at my gesture but just clutched my hand studying my pondering face._

"_You know Kakashi… Sasuke seemed pretty affected when you got hurt. Even in his lack of proper expression we saw real shock in him. And the things didn't go well either when other Jounin told him to leave you like if he had planned the whole thing. They were pretty harsh and untrusting. The Council is groveling in pride at seeing they were right. Sasuke Uchiha can't be a normal civilian or shinobi of Konoha anymore. That's the rumor gossiped around the people who know about it."_

_My gaze darkened at her words. I remember Tsunade telling me to not get the situation worst for Sasuke. I sighed knowing I had promised it and I had failed miserably at it._

"_It wasn't entirely his fault. I was distracted and that's something that you cannot allow if you're a shinobi and sensei. And I'm pretty sure it was an accident and Sasuke didn't mean it."_

_Anko nodded thoughtfully but when I noticed that she wanted to say something but she doubted it I asked her to tell me what she was thinking. She paused before answering._

"_Maybe you should have listened to all of us when we told you that it was better for him to stay away from the ninja life. We don't want him in any more trouble Kakashi and besides… we don't want to see you hurt in your attempt in helping him."_

_I noticed that she looked away when she said the last but I knew she was honest and worried. That's why I smiled kindly and meditating looking affectingly at her._

"_I know what all of you even the young ones think that it would do him better to stay as simple civilian. He has great limitations and obstacles now. But believe me when I know that I'm right in helping him to do this. This was an accident and it could happen to anyone in training or mission. It just looks worse because it involves Sasuke Uchiha and his actual situation. That's all. Thank you for worrying for me."_

_She nodded sighing hopelessly at my stubbornness and just smiled cheerful without saying other word. She knew me and knew that there was nothing that could change my mind about it. I knew I was right. I was going to be proven when I was out of the hospital and watched Sasuke again._

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

Of course my _accident_ while training with the _demented _Uchiha raised opinions and rumors. I only felt ashamed when I had to confront and talk with Tsunade knowing she had supported me in this and the result was for the worst. Still she said yes to me in my petition in continuing with the training with Sasuke. When I asked her why she said yes again to me even after what had happened she sighed tiredly and concerned and told me that _"We both know the reason. You just have to see it by yourself"._

I noticed that Anko, Gai and Kurenai started to see it too. But for persons outside our group it was still a madness and loss of time of my part. They said I wasted uselessly my effort and hours trying to fix something that is was not fixable and unstable. For them Sasuke was just someone scarred mentally and emotionally without repair like if he was some sort of TV. That got me mad and sad at the same time. Naruto had visited me death worried for me and asking about his best friend. I told him that it was an accident and that Sasuke was fine in the care of my three friends. But he still was unable to face him and just nodded glad and sad. His friends visited me too and they were in the same line of thinking that Anko and the others except Hinata who would support Naruto probably till the end of time. I know they were worried as my Anbu friend and thought that it was better for Sasuke to have a calm life.

I just want to notice that wanting him to be an active shinobi didn't mean that I didn't want that for him too.

Sakura visited me too with Miyu preoccupied and happy at seeing me well. She didn't dare or let herself to ask about Sasuke openly so I just said again that it was an accident and that he was fine even when I hadn't seen him yet. And she said something that let me thinking hard and deeply. _"It has to be an accident. Sasuke-Kun would never hurt you without a reason"._ Then she just smiled sad and lost in inner feelings and memories and waved goodbye at me.

I was able to leave the hospital three days after and I went to Gai's house to pick up Sasuke and say thanks for his help. I found quite strange that Sasuke hadn't come to visit me while I was hospitalized. I didn't have other visit from Anko, Kurenai or Gai because they were busy with their own agenda. So when I saw Gai at the door looking at me relieved and glad (come on we're friends even in spite of the rivalry he proclaims against me) I started to understand Tsunade's words of support at me. I started to see what I have to see by myself.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

"_I asked Lee to take him to a walk and I'm glad he agreed. The three days he had spent here had been quite rough and concerning."_

"_Why is that?"_

"_Your former student had been pretty reclusive and had been isolating himself since the incident. And I'm not talking about his usual and common antisocial behavior. No. He didn't leave the room I gave him to spend here in my house and he hadn't eaten or slept. He barely drank something. He had avoided us clearly. We couldn't force him to do something he doesn't want to do like eat. At least not till all this could harm him severely. Tsunade-Sama told us to wait for you and that you would know what to do."_

"_I see. What has he been doing then?"_

"_Just stay in the room staring at nothing. He didn't get up from bed if one of us came to see him and force him with the visit to get up, take a shower and get dress. But he then resumed his lying in bed fully clothed and cleaned staring at nothing. He hadn't painted anything like when he was with Uzumaki or tried to read. It was almost a catatonic state but with more consciousness I must say. He's absent, distant, tired. It is like if he was just following the flow of living without really living."_

"_Or wanting to live."_

_Gai stared thoughtful and serious at me. I sipped at my cup of hot coffee and finally saw what Tsunade had seen already and why I knew I had to train Sasuke. I said thanks to Gai who had to go to the Hokage's office and asked him where Lee had taken Sasuke. Later I left his house and put my feet in direction at the place where I had to go thinking deeply and clearly about everything. Were Tsunade and me the only ones who could see why Sasuke needed to train and be a ninja again?_

_Soon I reached the spot described by Gai and saw that it was the dock at the river that I knew Sasuke visited brooding when he was in the Academy after his family and clan had died by the hands of his brother Itachi. Gai had told me that when he had taken him after my accident they had passed by it on their way to Gai's home and Sasuke had showed some emotion and interest in the place. So he had asked Lee to take him there today for fresh air. _

_I watched Lee lying with his closed eyes on the grass by the side of the calm river with its smooth surface. The sunset was near. Sasuke was sitting in the dock itself with his legs swinging back and forth over the tranquil water slowly like he did when he was a little kid. I don't know why the scene bothered me. His face was indifferent and cold and his obsidian orbs held a sense of exhaustion and sadness. He was exhausted. But I knew it wasn't entirely physical. I approached carefully Lee and when he sensed me he turned around smiling happily to see me better and out of hospital. I was going to ask him about Sasuke after smiling grateful for his good wishes when he was the first one to turn at the spot when the both of us knew Sasuke was. He was the first one who noticed that Sasuke was standing still at the edge of the dock staring at the deep and mirror like water. But I was the one who reacted first and hurt yet by the incident didn't care about it and appeared behind Sasuke just in time to grab him by his waist with my right arm that it wasn't broken. I felt Lee followed me closely and was late just by seconds._

_I had reached him in time after seeing him being pulled by the water and staring to fall in it completely. I grabbed him by the waist with my good arm and kept still like him a couple of minutes without feeling him fighting me. I forced him to step back until we were at the middle of the dock and Lee was serious, confused and worried looking at us._

"_What were you thinking Sasuke? Sometimes if you stare deeply at water it's like being in the top of a high building in the mere edge. Deep water and highs have the force to pull our mind but we can't resist the urge to fall if we are feeling confused about something." _

_By the surprised and touched face of Lee that I picked up by the corner of my eye I knew he understood the words behind my speech. I let go Sasuke from my grasp and he slowly turned around facing me. He was cold and daring me with his onyx pools for eyes and I knew he would not accept what I had said as true being him. He tried to rest importance to it and started to walk to the road leaving us there with slow but decisive pace._

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

After that other incident I take Sasuke with me first at eat something and then to our rooms at the quarters. I told him that tomorrow we'll resumed our training and practice like we had been doing it till my unfortunate accident and I explained him that I knew I was partly at fault for it for my distraction and that I knew that it had been accidental his attack directed at me. He didn't show any reaction that it could mean a contradiction to my plans and I took it as an agreement from his part.

The next morning very early we both were in the same spot as days before and I noticed that even when Sasuke hadn't disagreed with me in keeping him training and practicing his powers, force and abilities he was pretty damn affected by the incident in which I had ended hurt and parched. He couldn't concentrate and forgot about the basics. He couldn't focus himself in what I was ordering him to do. His distractions grew bigger and more dangerous and his hallucinations took the best of him when they unable him to act. He kept seeing around him with quick and alarmed eyes and his ears pricked up listening them. I saw moved and worried how he always searched me with desperation and seriousness in his total environment like trying to remember where I was. He analyzed me carefully and confusedly before deciding if I was there.

And then I knew sadly that he didn't know exactly if I was a part of his hallucinations or not. And I knew that was why the treatment didn't work properly in training. In normal life Sasuke didn't have to use any of his gifts as a ninja and he didn't have the chance to hurt or kill someone and it didn't matter a lot if he was seeing or hearing things because he was focused enough to know what was real. But in training it was different and he lost his concentration and confidence knowing he could harm or bring death. Knowing that he lost control over the hallucinations and the pills weren't enough and everything turned worst.

I tried over and over to help him to concentrate and confide in himself and let the pills do their work with his own control. But it was useless. Sasuke only did it worst and the consequence was his loss of patience, desperation and frustration that led him to a moment similar that I had witnessed in his failed attempt of crying in the park. He knelt tired and confused and angry and curling his fists with rage and impotence he hit the ground violently. The sound of the rocks crashing by the impact of his knuckles were the only noise in the silent atmosphere for long seconds and I saw the pulverized ground flying and the two small holes Sasuke had done with his mere force. He was trembling without the chance of showing the pain cursing his bloodied and curled tightly fists and he was panting and had his look locked in the broken ground and the red drops of his blood staining it. His face was just tired and frustrated now. By the soft gleam of his dark gaze I knew he was hurting physically from his injured hands.

I observed him concerned and moved. Sasuke was calm just for minutes till I saw that he was going to take another blow at the ground with all his weak force and I stopped him encircling his shaking figure with my right arm restraining his arms and his attempt. He tried to fight me without success. He had spent almost all of his force in the first punch and was exhausted from the incessant trying I had submitted him before. I heard worried his harsh breathing.

"Do you need help Kakashi?"

I looked up from my kneeling position and saw Gai there. Tsunade was a little away under a tree watching us. I was amazed I hadn't seen her observing Sasuke and me before. I guessed she and Gai had come to see me training and dealing with him and probably they were preoccupied at my present state. My eternal rival was staring seriously at us. I half smiled softly denying his help.

"Thank you Gai. But I'm ok. I can handle it."

He just nodded still not convinced but respected my wishes and returned to his spot besides the honey eyed and silent Hokage watching interested, sad and wondering the scene. Sasuke attracted my attention again when he started to get restless again and with his last source of force tried to free himself from my grasp. I knew he was trying to hit something without caring his well being just in spite of his anger and frustration. I restrained him with my only arm until he felt relaxed and limp in my grip and he rested his head against my right shoulder with a cold and indifferent stare. When he was totally calm I let go of him and stood up saying to him to try it again since the beginning.

But he didn't move or look up at me. He just was there kneeling with his bloodied fists and lost. I saw he was cursing me and sending me right to hell when he saw me by the corner of his eyes with contained fury. But above of all I saw defeat in his stoic pale face. I knew he couldn't go on training being hurt like that but I only wanted to force him to stand up and I wanted to see him trying again. Just that. Then I would tell him that the training for today was over and I would take him with Shizune to heal his injuries.

"Stand up Sasuke. Start all over again. It's an order."

He didn't move and fixed his black eyes on the splattered ground. I repeated the same line two times more. Before going mad for his reaction I noticed that in fact he wasn't really angry at me. He was pretending to disguise the intense and true feeling of defeat and frustration he was feeling in fact. Just seeing truly at his eyes I knew it.

"Are you giving up like everyone says you and I should do?"

He didn't react and when I tried to lock my half look with his dark one I saw that he didn't want to see me straight in the face. I watched the guilt softly showing in the line of his furrowed brow where the red Hyuuga seal was tattooed in a spiral with ties. I sighed concerned. That was where his confidence was shaking. In my hurt self by his hand.

"Sasuke I don't want you to give up just because we met an unfortunate accident. We'll work together to stop it from happening again to me or to anyone else. I promise." I knelt in front of him feeling still the pain in my hurt ankle but I ignored it. "I know that control is very important to you in all the aspects and to make decisions and I know you don't like to hurt or kill someone if it's not necessary. You used to be like that."

I paused staring worriedly at him. Sasuke was listening to me in his distant and stoic façade.

"I know everyone thinks is useless and pointless. But I believe you can do it. I'll train you again even if I had to do it since the basics and if I'm not the right person to help you then I would find someone who could do it. I'm not giving up on you Sasuke."

I said simply sincerely and firmly looking at his former student with daring in his uncovered eye. I knew that Sasuke needed this now when everything seemed so dark and lost to him, even if Sasuke himself couldn't accept it or didn't want to. He was before an excellent shinobi and he was the best student of his own generation. He was an Uchiha. He only had this right now. And I weren't going to let him lose it too. That was what Tsunade had asked me to see. That's was what I saw yesterday at the dock by the river. Sasuke didn't have anything else right now. His life didn't have a clear goal and he had proven it to me the three days he had spent at Gai's house. That was his life. Just living for live, just existing. And that's why I knew I had had to look for him and Lee and I had known what he was thinking standing still in the edge of the dock. That was the tiredness always present in his night's eyes.

I extended my right hand to him insisting in standing up and do it again till he could find the balance and control he desperately needed. Sasuke looked at it with contempt and coldness until he took it with his two injured hands and I got up followed for him slowly. When our gazes crossed I saw a glimpse of the fiery old determination he had before he had gotten sick. He narrowed his indifferent but bold eyes. I smiled widely and then I took a look at his bloodied hands. He didn't even wince when I touched the deep cuts but I saw a far away painful spark in his glare.

"Well for now you can't do anything in this state so we'll continue tomorrow. Let's go to attend your injuries, alright?"

* * *

_Tsunade POV_

After two months Sasuke got better at training that I started to send him with Kakashi in minor missions without a lot of potential danger. Little by little the Uchiha had made an extreme and meaningful effort trying to improve himself under Kakashi's orders. Gai offered himself to train Sasuke in improving his Taijutsu and Kakashi had accepted grateful for it. Anko sparred with the dark haired boy too when she had time and with the help of all of them and the constant and demanding effort of Sasuke who didn't give up again even feeling frustrated, angry or desperate he managed to got in a trustful level. He wasn't at the level probably as his other's classmates and friends right now but he was capable and reliable as a Genin. In fact he wasn't literally a Chunin or a Jounin. Kurenai had wanted to help him too as a friendly offering to Kakashi but he told her that he was going to wait to accept her help because Sasuke wasn't ready to use and defend against Genjutsu. Even when Kurenai was a complete Jounin she was a specialist in Genjutsu and Kakashi wanted her help when he thought Sasuke could handle it.

So Kakashi left Konoha with Sasuke in some missions I knew he could handle and they returned to the village always with a completed and well done task. When I sent Kakashi in missions more dangerous and complicated Sasuke was left in the care of Gai or Anko or the both of them if they were free in that moment. In normal life Sasuke had retrieved to his old life in Naruto's apartment and still kept training himself in the best way he could do it. Gai tried to encourage him to write and we discovered why Sasuke didn't try it before. We discovered that Sasuke couldn't write properly and in an understandable way. The letters and sentences he wrote where just babbling without a sense. His writing skill was misshaped and even when it seemed that he was writing correctly and knowing what to write when he ended and tried to read what he had written he just like us couldn't understand anything. That got he very frustrated and he desisted in trying very tired and with a headache when he had tried to write over and over probably the idea he had in his mind. I told him that he only needed patience and a lot of stressful practice.

The only concerning thing we discovered again in him was his attempts of avoiding Sakura and Miyu. Whenever he was near them and he spotted them together or one at the time he turned his path and left quickly. All of us thought that it was possibly that he remembered what he had caused when he had kidnapped his daughter months ago. He probably was shameful to face Sakura or ask her again in some way to let him see and share time with Miyu. We didn't exactly knew why he had retrieved to that behavior of avoid them and runaway from the two but we didn't insist in any way to force him to show us his motives. He was still stressed by the training. But some of us had caught him glancing longingly and contemplative at any of them when he watched mother and daughter from a far. And there was sadness and resignation that touched and confused us like they had done it since the beginning of all of this.

Miyu soon was 1 year and 4 months old. Even when Sasuke was doing well in his missions and trainings and the Council was glad of having him compensating his past deeds with Konoha a lot of people still thought he was a latent danger like a bomb that could explode any day without reason. They thought he was mentally unstable enough to worry over his acts without resting. The accident of Kakashi had grown the expectation and fear of him doing something terrible and the rumor of Sakura and Miyu being in constant danger because of their connection to him was loud. His friends were glad he was succeeding in his ninja life but they still hesitated and concerned about him knowing like all the others Sasuke's state. They wanted to protect Sakura and Miyu from him but he didn't do a thing to go near the mother of his child and his own daughter or even his friends. That saddened me. He was focusing so much in his work to notice how isolated he was even when he had me, Shizune and the sensei. We knew he needed people from his age and who knew him probably better than almost all of us or who weren't sometimes so busy that he ended lonely locked in his room for days and nights.

I wonder if he let the loneliness to swallow him again just because he wanted so much to improve himself in missions or if he was trying to improve so much to avoid feeling lonely and stay away from his friends and his little girl and the pink haired lady who gave birth to his child. Sadly enough I don't have the answer yet.

* * *

_Naruto POV_

I met Sasuke just one time when he was in Ichiraku with Anko for dinner. I was accompanied by Shikamaru and Ino and they congratulated him for his returning as a ninja from Konoha. He and Anko were almost finishing when we arrived so we have a little time to share with them.

I felt strange and uncomfortable remembering the way we had parted months ago. That's why I was so quiet and didn't quite meet his dark and collected gaze. I still don't know if I hurt him taking away his collection of toys for Miyu and I felt guilty and ashamed even when I didn't quite regret it. I had wanted to know what he felt for his daughter.

And sadly I still don't know it.

My anger had risen again after seeing his rejection showed at Sakura-Chan and Miyu. My anger was originated from confusion at his decisions. While Ino talked with Anko cheerfully and Shikamaru just looked bored like he always looked anyway, I took a couple of minutes to watch Sasuke without him noticing. He had his black gaze turned just for courtesy at the two woman talking and laughing (I saw in his stoic face his indifference at it) and I took the chance to study him after days without being face to face with him.

The Hyuuga Seal inked in red shone in the mere center of his forehead in a perfect spiral from which thin and delicate ties were stretched and tattooed in the rest of the surface of his forehead. All the seal was in fact beautifully designed and the crimson color made a perfect contrast against the black in his eyes and hair and the bluish light in it and his pale skin. I noticed that Sasuke didn't wear his forehead protector with the emblem of Konoha. In fact he didn't wear it since his first returning but at least now that he was sent in missions he wore it clinging from his waistband instead. I couldn't help to smile sadly and softly seeing the scratch I had done to it in that fight between the both of us long time ago.

I wondered why he didn't use it in his forehead like he always used to do. Some straight and dark bangs falling from his combed hair covered the red seal but just barely. Being lost in thought I didn't see that he was staring at me serious and calm. He knew I was looking at the red seal painted in his face. I felt ashamed for being caught but I controlled myself and just let a crooked and small smile up in my face resuming my eating. His look softened at me but he then stood up and went to the bathroom and I followed him with my gaze and with my mouth full of delicious and hot ramen.

"The Council forbade him to wear the Konoha's protector in his forehead, right?"

I turned surprised at Shikamaru who was drinking slowly his cup of hot tea. Anko nodded seriously.

"Yeah. They want the seal to be seen by everyone to give a sense of security and protection to them against the potential danger he could be."

"That's nonsense. Sasuke would never do something against us or this village anymore. If I remember correctly he decided it a long time ago when he chose to help Konoha against Akatsuki and that weirdo of Kabuto mixed with that filthy snake. Even if he was angry at Konoha he helped out. Sasuke could be a jerk with Sakura and Miyu but that's another matter."

Ino said mad while I was still eating just listening at them. Shikamaru looked interested at the young Anbu.

"That's true. How did Kakashi-Sensei help him with his hallucinations in training and missions?"

"He taught him how to sense and detect chakra in a special way to distinguish between reality and unreality. That's all. Real things had a living pulse and energy. His hallucinations come from his head and he unconsciously can give them the power over him but they will always be different from the real things. Some sort of that. Still it's difficult to Sasuke to perform this sensing and detecting perfectly and quickly. He has to practice a lot and had a perfect concentration to master it but it had worked till now. It's not big deal. Some clan and shinobi have abilities similar to that one."

There was silence in the table and I finished my bowl of ramen still quiet and thoughtful. I know the three were wondering why I was so silent and serious. That wasn't my way of being. But they didn't say anything about it and respected my feelings at the moment. Sasuke returned and he and Anko decided to leave after she finished her cup of iced tea. She was saying goodbye and other things to Ino and Shikamaru but I was facing my old and best friend in deep silence. At first he wasn't paying attention at me and was looking ahead at the street. But then he sensed my stare and fixed his onyx orbs in my blue ones just serenely and stoic. He didn't seem angered at my observation. He averted his eyes first turning his look at one side and I thought I saw a little spark of shame in them. Guilt.

And I smiled softly and nostalgic to myself knowing that I felt the same too. Yeah, I was confused and angry at him still for hurting and rejecting Sakura and Miyu but I had been worried for him. I am always worried for him as for all the people I knew and I care deeply about or even love with all my heart. When my two friends and the Anbu ended their goodbyes and chats there was a pause and I know they were looking at us. Calmly I fixed my serious stare on him still feeling angry enough for his erratic behavior.

"I'll see you around Sasuke. Take care, please."

He saw me by the corner of his dark look and narrowed his eyes slightly. Then Anko waved goodbye and she left followed by him without turning to face me again. I just sighed sad knowing he wasn't angry at me like Kakashi-Sensei had told me. In fact his last glare at me was more like a question than a show of angriness of any kind. It was like if he was asking me why I had said that to him.

That fool.

I smiled cheerful again and followed Ino and Shikamaru just hearing them picking on each other like usual.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"Come on Sakura please; just sit down for a minutes and have a cup of tea. Please."

My mother begged kindly at me while I was looking around the kitchen like if I hadn't been there for years. I felt weird and melancholic being there in my former house, my dear home since I was a little girl till I had left that terrible night with my daughter in arms fearing for the unexpected future.

"Alright mom. I'll stay just for a couple of minutes."

She smiled warmly and happy at me sighing giggling and with resignation. I sat down still feeling the ghost of my old home embracing me. So many memories. So much happiness. So much sadness too. I found quite special how long had been since I had renounced to live here anymore. Mother put a cup of hot tea in front of me and sat down beside me with her own. Miyu was in her special chair staring at everything with wonder and delight and making funny noises from time to time. She repeated words that she already knew from some objects and furniture in the room quietly and clearly. Her big and black eyes seemed so interested and serene.

"Why do you ask me to come? You always go to my place."

"Well you were nearer this time from the house. And don't worry; your father won't come yet. It's early. I have a surprise for Miyu and I'm wondering if you brought what you promised me Sakura."

I nodded smiling and took my purse searching for the envelope. Then I gave it to her and I drank from my cup of tea seeing happily how mom opened it and took the photos of Miyu's birthday and started to see them one by one with a open, sincere and loving smile and eyes full of happiness.

"Oh Sakura! They're wonderful!"

"Yeah I know. You can keep them. I have another copy from all."

She just nodded laughing at some photos and I took her entertainment to stand up and walk and watch the kitchen again with renewed interest and nostalgia. I went to the window over the sink and smile sad and thoughtful at the beautiful color of the afternoon outside. My distant and lost in reverie gaze was caught by something strange I hadn't seen in our backyard.

"When did you plant sunflowers in our backyard mom?"

"I hadn't. You know I suck at gardening sweetie."

"Hmm… that's weird."

I didn't say anymore seeing her in complete concentration and delight of watching the photos. I stared strangely and curiously at the pretty sunflowers planted under the old and big tree that was near my former room's window. Father had always wanted to keep that tree and mother and I adored it too. The only thing was that the tree was an easy way to get to the house through my window. The sunflowers were dancing slightly and slowly with the wind like the leaves and branches from the tall and strong tree.

"Look Miyu this is one of our albums now and your mother never used it and it's pretty, isn't it? I took it for you honey."

I turned around to see mother showing a new album to my little girl and I left the thing about the sunflowers out of my mind. I sat down beside mom smiling while she opened the pink album and started to put the photos there carefully and adoringly one by one in the order she thought it was the best. I had bought that album so long time ago for me. We both laughed cheerfully and honestly while we were seeing each one and we made comments about it. Miyu just stared absorbed at us and the colored pictures in silence with her strange understanding filling her dark eyes.

"Your friends got pretty handsome and cute Sakura! Look at Neji-Kun. I'd gladly kill for having my hair like him!"

I just laughed funny with her words. When she flipped another page both of our laughs died seeing an old photo there between the two next pages. It was a photo where Naruto, Sasuke-Kun and I were while we were Team 7 years ago and Kakashi-Sensei had insisted in taking it. We were at the bridge where he used to date us and left us there waiting for an eternity for him to appear. Naruto was in the middle smiling cheerful and enthusiastic embracing us or at least trying to do it with Sasuke-Kun. I was holding my blond friend back smiling content and warmly at the photo making a signal of peace with my left hand. And Sasuke-Kun was just glaring at the camera like always with his hands in his pockets trying to free himself from Naruto's grasp. He wasn't smiling and was just brooding tense with a severe expression in his face.

My heart ached and skipped a beat.

"Dada! Dada! Dada's there!"

My mom and I turned quickly surprised and pulled out of our watching by my little girl's voice. She was smiling sweetly and pointing with her little hands at Sasuke-Kun at the old photo. A photo I didn't remember I had. A photo I had put there when he had gone from Konoha following Orochimaru.

My heart was crushed seeing her sincerely remembering him.

Mother just smiled sad and supporting at me and I smiled back just for showing her that I wasn't affected at all. But I was lying. Was my love still so damn strong that even a damn old picture could break another piece of my already shattered heart?

"Yes Miyu. He's your dad."

Mother said simply smiling at my daughter kindly and Miyu giggled clapping her hands.

I felt tears in my eyes. She remembered him fondly.

Mother decided to continue with her doing like if nothing had happened and I silently thank her for that. Soon we were again laughing seeing the rest of the photographs until she finally put them all in the pages of Miyu's album. But I had my mind thinking in the moment we had shared together with that photo. I looked at my pretty girl still wondering how she had learned to say "dada". She recognized mother, all of my friends, the sensei, the Hokage and Shizune and other persons she usually saw. Even my father because mother had showed him to her in another picture and taught her the word. But no one of us taught her to call "dada" Sasuke-Kun. He couldn't speak or didn't want to so it wasn't probably he the one who had taught it. Or did he? And if he was then why he didn't speak at all at any of us?

"Sakura I want to give you something for Miyu. It's a special birthday's present. I'm sorry for the date but I didn't have it with me when she turned 1 year."

I had been so immerse in my thoughts that I hadn't seen her stood up and took a box from a cabinet. She put it in the table in front of me. It was small and made of precious black wood that looked pretty expensive and antique. I took it marveling at the design and opened it carefully surprised seeing what was inside. My jade eyes peered curiously and amazed at a beautiful necklace made of silver and with a red and golden stone hanging from it. The design of the stone was similar to an eye and I couldn't figure out why it reminded me of something.

"Mom this is beautiful! It's expensive! You didn't have to buy something like this!"

I said ashamed and scandalized at the magnificent ornament. She shocked her head without locking her pretty eyes with mine and seeing her granddaughter with contempt.

"It's a family's heirloom. An antiquity. Please Sakura, keep it and made Miyu wear it. It's for her. It's the way in what I'm saying that I'm sorry for not having both of you here with me. I know you won't return home. I understand it. So please take it for me."

She was pleading sincerely with her eyes on me and I couldn't say no at looking at her so decisive in it and distressful about it. I nodded sighing still ashamed but I smiled moved and happily. She hugged me tenderly for a moment and then went and picked up a silent and observant Miyu from her baby chair. I took my purse and Miyu's bag and stood up.

"You have to go now. Your father will be here soon."

She said sadly kissing Miyu's forehead lovingly. I nodded sad too and I put the necklace around Miyu's little neck noticing that if fit perfectly her in her youth and size. I took her in my arms and kissed mother in the cheek giving her a last hug grateful and nostalgic.

"I'll see you later then mom. Thanks for everything."

"Don't worry sweetie. It's a pleasure!"

She laughed sincerely and while she was saying goodbye at my little girl she asked something that remembered me the old photo we had found without expecting it.

"Sakura, do you want to talk more about him?"

I saw her surprised and affected but soon I disguised it shocking my head with a soft and little smile and calm face. She was staring worriedly at me. I had talked before with her when I had found about Sasuke's sealing and the opinion and orders of the Council. I had talked with her about the attack he had inflicted accidentally in Kakashi-Sensei and how hard he tried to be an active and trustful shinobi again for Konoha. I had felt in a turmoil of emotions and feelings and I had been worried and depressed knowing of everything going on in his life. My thoughts focused in him and his well being. I had showed to others that I didn't have any interest left in me for him but I was lying and pretending.

I'm always lying and pretending about it.

I had cried and saddened but I forced myself to get over it like always when something related to Sasuke-Kun affected me so bad. I was angry and scared of him for taking Miyu away from me without me knowing, yes, I was still mad and fearful. But I never wished him to have it so hard when he seemed to want to rebuild his life here in his homeland. I just wanted to be away from him and not feel hurt again or more than I already was. I wanted to protect our daughter. I wanted a new and hopeful life.

But I wanted him by my side and his love and a life with him in my deeper heart of hearts and my silent soul. That was the truth I would keep denying and I would try to change knowing that I would never have it and that there were so many obstacles to achieve it. And the principal one was that he wasn't interested in sharing any of it with me. And he had kidnapped Miyu and now he didn't care if I had forbidden him to see her or be with her so I guessed he didn't want to share it with her either.

His renewed and actual rejection and avoiding to her hurt me over and over and confused me so much tearing my hope of him being his father. I didn't understand what had happened then when he had held her and carried her and care for her in the hospital that day. What was his goal in doing that if now he didn't care a bit about it? I was sure that if he really wanted to still be near her he had protested at me for my prohibition and had done everything in his hands to ask my forgiveness for the kidnapping. But he hadn't done anything.

And I was crushed and destroyed like always. But I had gotten used to recover quickly from this encounters and torments provoked by him sadly and unfortunately. It hadn't to be this way. But it was.

Mother accompanied me part of the way and when she saw the backyard and the sunflowers under the tree I saw her curiously peering at them with some sadness and realization that I couldn't comprehend. She suddenly just shrugged smiling turning to me without fixing her eyes with mine.

"You're right. That's weird!"

She kissed Miyu in her forehead and went back home waving goodbye to both of us while my little girl waved it too smiling and I looked melancholic at the pretty sunflowers dancing with the soft sunset's breeze.


	16. Trembling

**A/N:**

**WHILE UPDATING CHAPTER 16 BY MISTAKE CHAPTERS 13, 14 AND 15 WERE DELETED, SORRY FOR THAT I HAD A LITTLE PROBLEM, IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN! SO THAT'S WHY YOU PROBABLY RECEIVED ALERTS FOR MORE CHAPTERS UPDATED BUT I ONLY UPDATE THE ONES THAT WERE DELETED AND THE NEW 16. MY APOLOGIZES TO YOU!**

**Hello to all of you again! I'm so happy that you're still out there liking my story! **

**Thanks to all of you who read or reviewed it or put it in your list's favorites or in alert, thank you so much!**

Thank you to: lunaestrlla (Sakura and Sasuke's and Sasuke and Miyu's moments will come for better or for worse, don't worry! Thank you!!), panda-kinz (Welcome! And it will become more complicated, believe me! Thanks a lot!!), liljapangrl03 (I'm glad you liked that little moment of Miyu and I hope to put on some more! Thank you!!), C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only (Thank you for saying that this chapter it was like a novel, that's huge, I'm very thankful to you and if you felt like that it's a reward to me to know I'm doing it right. I hope too to see them recover from all this! Thanks thanks really!!), sasusaku779 (Sorry for drowning you in despair and broke your heart! Thank you so much for your words that told me how I'm doing! Thanks a lot!!), Lady Padme Naberrie (Welcome and thank you for reading it. As you can see, I like sadness and angst, ha, ha. My, my, you surprise me with your words on this... hmm... Sorry for making your heart ached in pain! Thanks, thanks a lot!!), jay-alexis (Oh my, there's hope and light still, doesn't it? Poor Sasuke, how evil I am! Ha, ha, we'll see, we'll see! Thank you!!), Laury Uchiha (Thanks to you for reading! I like Kakashi and Sasuke's relationship too. In this chapter you'll see how Miyu's taking this matter of her "Dada". Sometimes all of you surprise me when you suggest something and it was already thought or written! Oh believe me, I'm addicted to Sasuke too. Thank you for your supportive words and thanks a lot really!!), AVAuchiha (Thank you for what you said and I'm glad you're liking it! Sasuke hadn't given up! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!) and kmixan (I know Kakashi is strong but he was distracted too, he, he, and yes, Sasuke hit him very hard and he didn't mean it. What happened to Sasuke and when he took Miyu away will be show later, I don't want to leave all of you in darkness about it and for me it will be rude to not put it! I love that you can imagine different scenarios in this story and I gladly read them! Thank you really, really!!)

Now for (Sorry for not answering your pm before but I hadn't checked my mail upps): Massu Chan (I saw your mail and don't worry for the button, sometimes I cannot even enter! I'm glad you sent a pm to me to show me your review. Thanks a lot! Don't say your reviews are pointless! All your reviews are important to me and I love reading them not matter what they could say. And all of you motivate me, really. Light and hope, that's good right? Hmm... And you had been the only one who pointed that! You know what I'm talking! He, he, I want you to wonder about the mysteries! Kakashi is great and perhaps he deserves something! Don't worry about the long!! Thank you, thank you!!), Laury Uchiha (Thank you for remind me to update soon!! Even by private message! Thanks!!), sasusaku779 (I'm not taking offense, really, and thank you for loving my story! Well in fact I had tried to write before since years ago. This account in fact was for keeping fanfics that were not about anime, that's why it has fanfiction of star wars, harry potter, charmed, angel, buffy, howl's moving castle, etc. Now I had put some Naruto's ones I liked. But I prefer to write about anime. I decided to write a SasuSaku because I love Sasuke's character and it's my favorite till now. First I liked Gaara but then Sasuke took my breath away (How dramatic, ha, ha) and then I pondered about it if I should write one. The title came so easily to my mind and I love it! I was surprised because I usually have problem choosing the title. I'm not into writing of something else right now and more if it isn't anime related. And "Bringing Back" it's the first fanfic I'm writing that I have the firm intention to finish (I love you Sasuke!) and that it had impact in the readers and reviewers and that makes me very happy indeed. Thank you for your pm and don't worry, I don't take offense if you ask something particular about me or the writing! Thank you!!)

Do you remember before in one chapter in this space when I wrote about Sasuke's symptoms? Well, here is the left one.

**TO ALL OF YOU MATA NEE!!**

**Chapter 16**

**Trembling**

_Tsunade POV_

When the Council heard and was notified of the improvement and good performance of Sasuke they tried to take advantage of it. Kakashi and I had expected something like that to happen. They knew Sasuke's political situation was still shaken and fragile so they overpowered my orders and started to send him with Kakashi in more difficult missions with a high possibility of danger. I contradicted their decisions knowing that even when the Uchiha was a good and talented ninja again it was very soon to change his environment so suddenly. Kakashi agreed with me and we both discussed with the Council about it. It was true that Sasuke had gotten better much sooner than we had expected but that didn't guarantee that he was ready to face other kind of missions. We were worried for him and we feared that he could go backwards in his training if he encountered experiences he couldn't handle yet. But the Council reminded us _very kindly_ that he was doing it for compensating his bad behavior with the village and the important betrayal he had done twice allying himself with two of the most powerful and dangerous enemies of Konoha.

Sasuke had heard with us the order of putting him in the list of higher missions and Kakashi and I didn't surprise at all when he didn't do anything to show his discomfort for their order and decision. He just nodded slightly narrowing his eyes at them with a intensity we hadn't seen in him in a long time ago that brought so much boldness and coldness that he raised fear in the members of the Council and concern in us. His look could scare anyone. So full of determination and the fire of the fight and deep hatred.

When he didn't react denying the order we knew we couldn't do anything about it so we didn't insist in his behalf. Kakashi just told him when we were back at my office that he expected him to care and watch himself and warned him of the chance of danger to him and the ones who would accompany him. Sasuke knew this perfectly well and his stoic face and daring glare told us. He knew he wasn't as efficient as he was before but still he had accepted and Kakashi and I thought that he had done it just to show them that he was capable as a matter of dignity and pride but he must had had another secret reason to do it too and we could sense it in him when we looked at his distant dark gaze. Maybe he just wanted to have something to do in his life. Maybe he was using this to avoid inner feelings and thoughts and demons deeply inside of him.

The fact that he didn't talk ever was in reality a good thing in matters of missions and fights. The enemy couldn't know exactly what ninjutsu he would do without hearing him voicing it and had to watch the seals and movements he performed. That was something in his favor ironically. And to tell the truth, we wanted him more talking even if that meant he could lose this advantage in his favor anyway.

Kakashi and I really trusted in Sasuke. We trusted in his capacity to do an excellent job. But we couldn't help to worry thinking in all that could happen if he lost his mind again in the middle of a mission and in fact we didn't quite know how the seal would react. Talking with Hiashi Hyuuga when he attacked Kakashi we discussed that incident. Sasuke was supposedly limited to hurt other person because of the red seal but in that case he had harmed his sensei badly. Hiashi-Sama explained to us that Sasuke's disturbed mind had decided that in that moment Kakashi was a threat to him and the seal's response was weaker than his own choice. The hallucinations of Uchiha had limited the logical and cold answer of the seal regarding the supposed threat due to their intensity. Sasuke couldn't really hurt badly someone if that person wasn't trying to actually damage him or kill him or represented in his delusional mind a great danger to his life. The natural instinct of survival couldn't be mended exactly and perfectly. Hiashi-Sama had said already that imposing a seal in Sasuke's state (someone who suffered hallucinations) it was so hard and complicated that it was impossible to make it work properly. The human mind was above and more powerful than anything in the world.

Anyway we had to trust and hope for the best. Kakashi tried to train him in a stressful rhythm to prepare him in the next dangerous missions and we saw gladly that Sasuke reacted fine and do it well like before. He was doing an extreme effort to control himself and had a clear and cold mind. I was proud of him as a shinobi but not as a whole person. He still hurt Sakura and Miyu and we didn't have a clue why he acted so erratic and moody when it comes of the both. I do wonder what could happen the next time he and Sakura meet. I was preoccupied by it and sad thinking in the little girl with black-bluish hair that missed his father enough to call for him when she was with any of us like if she was asking us why he wasn't at her side. And I just had to smile kindly at her and kiss her forehead while I saw the pain and sorrow in my apprentice who tried desperately to blink away the uncontrolled tears she still harbored inside her aching heart.

* * *

"Tomorrow you will go at 9 o'clock to the Hokage's office."

"Another mission Kakashi-Sensei?! Yeah!"

"How troublesome… I wanted to stay all day in bed."

Kakashi smiled at the two different reactions of the two different boys. Naruto was brimming in excitement. He paused before saying who would be the fourth in their group in the mission ahead.

"Sasuke will come too. It's not the first one in this rank that he had to do, he had come with me before but it's the first one in which we'll have two more teammates."

"Sasuke is our fourth member in this mission?"

Naruto asked happily but sadly too. Kakashi just nodded calmly noticing still the ambivalence in his former student regarding Sasuke. Shikamaru didn't give it importance just like he didn't give it to anything in fact.

"Yes, he is. So tomorrow please don't be late."

"You're not the person who has any right to say that."

"Oh don't say that Shikamaru-Kun."

Kakashi just laughed cheerfully at a judging and annoyed Shikamaru while Naruto was left thinking in tomorrow. It was the first time in all these long months that he would have an assignment as a ninja with Sasuke and the second opportunity to chat with him after the meeting in Ichiraku. Days had passed after that and now he was more confident in his own feelings and thoughts and felt secure to try to befriend Sasuke again. He could never stop trying to be his friend. That was something he had accepted and embraced after all that had happened since that far away day when the two had fought to death in that valley. He had wanted to go and see him when Lee had told them about the incident at the dock but he couldn't find the courage feeling bad for the throwing of his friend's collection. That was the most important thing that kept him away from Sasuke, knowing of the possibility that his act had indeed hurt his quiet friend. But hearing from Lee that Sasuke had thought about that… had deeply worried and hurt and angered him a lot. Just thinking if Lee and Kakashi hadn't been there with Sasuke…gripped his heart tightly in suffering.

"So see you tomorrow boys. Rest and sleep well."

Kakashi waved goodbye smiling and left them there. Shikamaru just sighed annoyed.

"Yeah, yeah. I want to rest and sleep all day tomorrow too. If Temari was here…"

Shikamaru sighed with his eyes lost in reverie. Naruto just chuckled optimistic in thinking in tomorrow. He and Shikamaru walked together for a while until the yawning and clever boy with a ponytail waved goodbye at the blond smiling shinobi and entered at his home. Naruto looked at the mountain where the fifth faces of the Hokage of Konoha were in solid rock. He stopped his steps and smiled cheerfully and nostalgic.

"Together again like before Sasuke. Like the old times."

Then he resumed his walking to home feeling excited and happy about tomorrow.

* * *

_Naruto POV_

I couldn't talk with Sasuke when we began with the mission. It was a dangerous mission in which we had to deliver important papers and we had the possibility of encounter people who would want to take them from us with force and the chance of killing us. We had to stay silent and watchful, quiet and focused while we were running through the forest to the meeting's spot where the ninjas sent by the client would be waiting us to recover the damn papers. The mission in fact was dangerous in the matter of having us to fight an army of ninjas sent by the other group who wanted the papers for bad means. They were very well trained and gave us trouble when they appeared at us in all the way strategically and very well planned.

But it was a mission we were used to do and we were pretty great trained and we completed it only being slightly hurt and nothing more of gravity. We did what Tsunade-Baachan told us and we returned to Konoha immediately thanked by the client for our excellent job and service.

Nothing of that worried me. I wasn't anymore the clumsy and dump ninja from my younger years. And I was quite surprised and happy to see my old friend in action again face to face fighting at our side even when his fighting style had changed a little and was limited by his sickness. Still Shikamaru and I watched his performance and we accepted the fact that he had an amazing development in this mission including dealing with his own distractions and I felt moved and melancholic remembering old times of our Team 7's time in my actual observance of his performance as a shinobi. I hadn't noticed before how thin he was. It was a miracle he still had his ninja's constitution. He had returned to the village thinner but after not seeing him frequently for days I was shocked and concerned to see him like that again.

The night surrounded us suddenly and noticing that we were in fact exhausted Kakashi-Sensei decided to rest and sleep in the middle of the forest and restart our way back to the village tomorrow early. Konoha wasn't far away anyway. We set a camp feeling satisfied and glad for the outcome of our completed task and we had dinner and a moment of relax before sleeping.

Like I had said, I hadn't had the time before to talk to Sasuke. We both were concentrated in doing the mission perfectly but right now that has ended and I felt that it was the time to try it. I didn't want anymore to be like this with him, I didn't want to be away and avoid him and reject him. I didn't know how he could do it so easily with Sakura-Chan and Miyu. I hadn't lost the hope of making him change his mind about that. I hadn't lost the hope of having my best friend back and at peace at least with Sakura-Chan if he couldn't feel love for her. At least I wanted friendship and understanding between them for Miyu and for themselves.

So I waited till Kakashi-Sensei went to his spot where he was going to sleep and started to read one of his novels with a perverted giggling and shinning gaze and a slight red in his uncovered cheek. He had told us that he was going to do the report to give to Tsunade-Baachan tomorrow but instead he ordered Shikamaru to do it. This one, irritated and annoyed was shut up in his protest when Kakashi-Sensei said that _"I'm sorry Shikamaru-Kun, but that's the bad thing when you are the brain of the group" _so Shikamaru had to just growl in protest and started to fill the report's papers boringly and quickly with the help of that brain of his.

I had just laughed seeing that scene thanking heaven for not being smart or intelligent. Then I laughed at myself knowing what I had thought and scratching my head I turned around leaving Kakashi-Sensei reading and Shikamaru writing and I saw Sasuke a little away from us sitting in a rock looking at something in his hands. I approached him carefully trying to not be noticed by him and when I was nearer I watched surprised and touched what he was looking at so concentrated and attentive.

It was Miyu's photograph.

Kakashi-Sensei had told us that it was the only thing he had taken with him that night when he decided to leave my place and he kept it hidden like some sort of precious treasure or mysterious secret. I smiled sadly and moved at seeing my friend staring contemplative at it like if he was memorizing every single and little detail from the photo. I knew I couldn't tell him anything about it because I knew Sasuke. I knew him so bad that if I had said something about it he would probably reacted wrong at my act and would end angry at me for spying on him. I knew him so bad that I hadn't run to his side when Lee had told me what he almost did in the dock by the river knowing that if I mentioned it to Sasuke he would had probably rejected me mad. Kakashi-Sensei and I knew how he was. He would not had wanted to have any of us prying on him for the incident at the dock or his secret and devoted care for his daughter. That was why I hadn't gone to see him when Lee told us about it even feeling damn worried again thinking in losing again my best friend. I could surely have been angry at him and maybe I had probably screamed and punched him like before confused at his strange behavior. He had a girl who loved him so much that it hurt her and a little girl who kept asking for him with adoringly eyes and sincere smile so I couldn't quite understand him. So I controlled myself and let Kakashi-Sensei to handle the situation and he had done it perfectly.

And that was why I didn't go near him right now asking him why he rejected and avoided Miyu if he indeed obviously thought about her and care enough for her showing his love as a father. Sasuke was someone who didn't like others meddling with his life and feelings and thoughts. He kept all of that to himself deeply in his soul. He had always been stoic, calculative, arrogant and cold, indifferent at others just focusing in his own goal almost sometimes in an egoistical and self centered way. Those adjectives had gotten him the "cool and collected" exterior all the girls worshipped and the boys envied. It was difficult to know what was happening in his heart but I knew he still had kindness and goodness in it. But I knew that before he lost his family and clan he wasn't like that. I still could remember him as a little boy quiet and kind, sweet and accessible. He had laughed like any of us. I remembered him being somehow shy and insecure when his father had gone to the Academy for some reason. After that horrible incident in his life Sasuke had definitely changed forever.

I sighed with melancholy and smiling softly did a lot of noise with my feet to be noticed by him. I caught by the corner of my eyes how he had hidden the picture of Miyu in an inside pocket of his clothes. A little trace of my smile still clung from the corners of my lips when I sat down in a rock in front of him sighing tiredly and occasionally. Then I noticed how he was looking directly at me with that cocky eyes and that spark that made you think that he didn't appreciate even your existence in the world and that there was nothing in it that could scare him or surprise him. That was he. And I had learned to accept him in his own way and saw through the own language of his silence and words when he still wanted or can to speak. I knew that the appreciation he could give me could be covering the reality behind that perfect mask of a disgruntled look and freezing calm. I stared back at him without exactly knowing where to begin with. I felt stupid and awkward but I suck it up and talking sincerely and calmly I started the chat that I had been waiting for since days ago.

"Sasuke… I want to apologize… for what I did to your collection… I'm so sorry…"

I lowered my guilty gaze for seconds and then when I look up at him I saw him watching me softly. I felt better and at peace.

"I didn't have any right to do something like that. I'm sorry. I tried to recover it but I couldn't… so I hope you can forgive me for that."

Then was silence between us for long minutes till I knew that he wasn't angry at me for that. He was thoughtful and just distant in his own meditation and had averted his look at the burning fire a little away from us. But I knew he was still listening to me. He hadn't stood up like he would have done if he didn't want to be with me or hear me anymore.

"I felt bad for knowing that you didn't want to live with me anymore but I understand it, really. I miss you. My dirty house misses you in fact probably more than me."

I chuckled and he turned again to me narrowing his eyes in a mocking and knowing way. I saw him rolling his eyes in apparent annoyance and I smiled wide at it amused and proud of provoking that gesture out of him.

"I just want to tell you that if you want to come back some day you will always have a room there." I paused before saying the next with a more serious face and preoccupied. "I was very worried for you when you disappeared and later with the sealing and the Council… and then later with the other…"

Sasuke was narrowing his eyes again but now with intensity and something I couldn't quite identify. Was he angry at me for talking about all that? Was he surprised? Was he confused? I couldn't know. I pushed my luck still seeing that he hadn't gotten up.

"I was very damn worried. I don't want you to… you know. I was pretty scared when you hurt yourself with that knife and tried to tattoo your arms… don't do it anymore please."

My pleading was so sincere and concerned and I hadn't stopped seeing him fixing my blue stare on him that I knew I had caught him somehow off guard. Now he indeed was watching me with a hint of confusion and surprise. Why was he confused and surprised at seeing me so worried about him? Can't he see how much I care about him? How much Kakashi-Sensei and all of us, even Sakura-Chan care for him?

"I don't quite understand you Sasuke… and I don't like when you hurt Sakura-Chan and Miyu but I don't want to be away from you. Probably I'll be angry with you in a near future if you do it again with intention or not, but I don't want to lose your friendship. You're important to me as the both of those two girls who love you. You are my family like Kakashi-Sensei. You all were the first group of persons who were with me like a family with Iruka-Sensei who is like a father to me… so I hope you can understand me too. I probably won't understand you if you don't want to share what it's inside your heart and I'll probably be mad but at the end I want you to know that I would not turn my back on you. You're my best friend. How could I? You'll have to bare with me and deal with me even if I keep annoying you wanting to realize how lucky you are of having a girl who loves you with all her soul and a beautiful and bright daughter who misses you so that she keeps asking any of us for you just saying "dada". I'm hopeful like her. And believe me, knowing myself the hope would be the last thing I would lose at the mere end."

I chuckled proud of my charade and I saw a little hint of a smirk in his lips and sadness in his almost inexpressive but moved black eyes. I didn't say anything but I knew that with only that little and honest chat between us the things were like before and our friendship can be saved and rebuild. We were in silence just relaxing and looking up at the nocturnal and starry sky until I felt tired enough to sleep. I had lied down in the grass with my crossed arms as a pillow under my head and smiling face and then I sat down turning my sleepy gaze at him who was still sitting in the same rock looking up like me at the moon.

And I noticed something strange.

Sasuke had been calm and relaxed seconds before I sat down and then I noticed how he had dropped suddenly his head and started to tremble violently without control. The harsh shaking was first slow and weak but then it turned out quicker and stronger and I saw worried and shocked the pale and serious face of Sasuke like a mask enabling him to show the pain he was surely feeling and the only clue to it was his dark orbs narrowing in intense suffering very visible now.

It had to be son damn intense and powerful the pain he was experiencing to see it through his crystal look when normally it was difficult to notice something like that in him.

I got up suddenly and hurried to his side watching terrified and preoccupied how his body was trembling rapidly and with a certain rhythm that made him clutch his muscles with sharp tightness and bend down in an unbearable wave of pain. I had seen him suffering from his migraines but this was quite different and stronger in the way that had paralyzed him completely. He barely was able to raise his shaking and contorted arms and brace himself with fragile force.

"Sasuke! What's wrong?!"

I asked with a breaking and scared voice. Then the shaking was so damn intense that he lost the little control he had still on his pained and tensed body and he felt from the rock and continued trembling brusquely on the grass unable to stop himself. I tried to help him grabbing him by his flying arms that tried to grab something to settle the trembling movements that were controlling them and putting half me over his chest but the frenetic shaking increased and I saw him arching wildly his back and clutching his eyes tightly with an obvious wince pictured in his furrowed brow and his lips opened trying to cry out painfully without any voice left. If I was seeing him showing pain this easily it only meant he was worse than I had thought it. I wasn't able to stop his frenetic trembling without hurting him.

And I panicked.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!! SHIKAMARU!! PLEASE HELP ME!!"

I shocked at my intents of sobbing trying to stay calm and collected and felt my deep concern grow immensely while I was hearing them some meters away standing suddenly and running to us and I watched horrified in desperation and preoccupation at the blood streaming through Sasuke's face from his nose.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

After hearing the panic clearly showed in Naruto's screams I got up immediately sensing it was something related to Sasuke. Shikamaru followed me serious and worried too and we arrived seconds later where my blond and former student was trying to settle Sasuke down in his convulsion. Just laying my concerned eye on him I knew that he was suffering from some sort of seizure and that its incessant trembling was in fact some kind of convulsion originated from it.

It reminded me of an epileptic episode.

But I knew that it was somehow different from it and when I saw the blood running out from Sasuke's nose I knew it. He was bleeding severely and it didn't stop.

Without losing any time the three of us tried to control the harsh and violent movements of our teammate and got him paralyzed by our force combined. He still was gripped in the intense seizure but it was limited by our force holding him the steadier we could and little by little it lessened till Sasuke was left limp and unconscious lying in the fresh grass with his breathing slowing and evening out. The pain showed lightly and softly in his features was disappearing and the tension in all his body relaxed. I made Naruto and Shikamaru to hold him still and steady his body even noticing the end of the convulsion. We had never seen so much pain in Sasuke not even regarding his migraines which were able to make him faint from the pain's intensity. That scared me and worried me a lot like I knew it had done with Naruto.

Sasuke couldn't show pain, that had been one of the diagnoses of Tsunade and later she corrected it saying that it was very slight his chance to do it.

Soon the blood stopped flowing from his nose and staining badly his face, neck and shirt and when I finally was sure that Sasuke had gotten out of it I ordered the two friends to let go of him and I did it too. Then I started to check him up asking Naruto what had happened and how long he had been trembling like that. He explained me pale and shaken, worried and scared what I had asked him and told me that he had been like that almost three minutes since the beginning of it till the end.

I sighed preoccupied and deadly serious but disguising it with seriousness to calm Naruto and Shikamaru. I wasn't a medic nin so I couldn't give Sasuke all the assistance he needed so I just did what I knew I could do for him. I checked up his vitals worried for his accelerated pulse trying to even out and looked into his eyes opening them slightly and carefully and saw them lost completely. He was really out. It was like his brain had made short circuit and the light was turned off that three whole minutes inside of it. His functions were working fine but slowly like restarting from a profound shock of chakra. I dealt with the bleeding nose and noticed it had been a second effect from the convulsion.

It had to be so damn strong to make him bleed like that.

Shikamaru understand the situation better than Naruto. Frowning worried and serious told me that we needed to reach Konoha as soon as possible to take Sasuke to the hospital and be attended by Shizune and Tsunade. This late symptom of his sickness was dangerous and not to be taken lightly and I nodded agreeing with him. I wasn't sure how much blood he had lost but it wasn't sure a good thing. Naruto was unable to talk staring shocked at his dark haired friend and Shikamaru was kind enough to put a hand in his shoulder in sign of support.

Before restarting our way to Konoha in the middle of the night and while they were busy collecting all our stuff I cleaned Sasuke and changed his upper clothing looking damn preoccupied at him. His breathing and pulse were now normal and I sighed glad. I didn't like this new symptom and I felt deeply the strange and deathly feeling of fearing for Sasuke's life. When Shikamaru and Naruto returned pale and serious and shaken from the experience I decided that we would take turns to carry him till we reached Konoha to do a more efficient time and avoid exhausting one of us. They agreed and I was the first one who dragged an unconscious Sasuke while we were running through the forest under the calm and starry night. I was carrying him just like Temari had done when she had brought him back to the village that time and our pace was quick and focused. We only wanted to get to Konoha the sooner we could.

Shikamaru and Naruto took their turn in carrying Sasuke but when we finally arrived at the village I was again the one dragging him. The sunrise was coming and we got the hospital in the hours when everything is calm and almost empty. The three of us were exhausted and sleepy but we didn't care when we saw Shizune and Tsunade took personal care of our teammate immediately after seeing us arriving there and explaining them what had happened. The both medic nin were shocked and really worried and serious after listening to us and then we didn't meet them again because they got busy with Sasuke and they didn't went out of the special room they had put him.

I ordered my other two teammates to go to their home after other medic nin attended our own and light injuries. Shikamaru understood immediately but I had a hard time convincing Naruto to go and sleep. He was so concerned and fearful for Sasuke. But at the end I was able to convince him that it was better his way, we couldn't do anything now while Tsunade and Shizune worked on him and we had to be rested and fine when Sasuke finally could regain consciousness. After seeing them going I followed my own advice and decided to go home. But before parting I glanced at the closed door where I knew Sasuke was being treated and I wished for him to recover soon and well trying to hope against the anxiety I felt still inside of me when that weird feeling appeared in my mind shadowing Sasuke's future.

* * *

"He recovered consciousness after six hours but right now the last checkup we did on him revealed that he's fine and the same as always since he got strangely sick. There's not trace anymore from the seizure. But yes, he had one pretty bad that made him to convulsion and lost control of his own body and mind. It was similar to an epileptic one but it's not definitely the same. I think it was originated from his amount of chakra."

Kakashi nodded while Shikamaru was just thoughtful and serious and Naruto had his blue and sad look fixed in the floor. Tsunade was staring tiredly and worried at the three sitting behind her desk with Shizune standing by her side.

"What do you mean?"

The half masked man questioned the blond woman concerned.

"I think that part of Sasuke's sickness is caused by his own body without him having control on it. I think is inflicted by his chakra and his mind. I think the jutsu who put him this sick affected his own and natural defense in every way: physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. That's why I believe we cannot do anything about it to heal in him what is now damaged. His own and complete being it seems to be injuring him whenever it wants and for mysterious reasons."

There was a long and dead silence in the office. Kakashi nodded again understanding perfectly the underline in the Hokage's speech. Shizune was seeing concerned and moved the preoccupied face of Naruto. But Shikamaru was the only one strong enough to ask what it was in the mind of the five.

"Is he dying?"

Naruto turned quickly and shocked at his friend unable to speak. There was fear and pained worry in his blue orbs filled with trepidation and suffering. Kakashi was calm and collected, thinking in everything without taking off his glance from the honey eyed Hokage. This one was staring serious at them yet. She denied it softly.

"No. He's not dying right now. In fact his illness isn't killing him or damaging him to the extent to say that it's killing him. But these late symptom can do it if it happens again and it's stronger than this one." She paused touched by the enlighten hope and sadness in the blond boy in front of her with shinning eyes watching her speaking. "This sort of seizure can kill him in fact. I won't deny that. It's strong and dangerous enough to left him in the verge of death or with severe consequences or the worst, kill him."

"Severe consequences?"

Naruto spoke with fragile and pained voice. This time it was the dark haired assistant of the Hokage who explained it.

"This sort of seizure is strong enough to damage functions of his body. Like walking or seeing. It can take down one function from his brain. Either functions. What we're trying to say it's that Sasuke can end paralyzed or blind or worse if the seizures continue to affect him and if they're worse than this first one he had already. This one just left him unconscious for six hours and affected his breathing and pulse making his heart and lungs to go frenetic. But that's all. It could've been worse."

"If the seizure repeats several times I can't guarantee Sasuke's life. So that's why I'll do everything in my power to stop it from happening again the most I can. I started a treatment based in shots and not pills; he has enough with the ones to control his hallucinations and migraines. Every week I will test him to do a complete checkup on him and I would give him a special shot to maintain in balance his physical chemistry and control the unstable energy of his chakra. The seizure received it like electricity similar to an epileptic seizure and that's dangerous to his brain."

"Then he's alright now, right?"

The Hokage nodded tranquil at Naruto smiling softly. He let out a profound breath he didn't know he had been holding in all her explanation. Shikamaru seemed pretty calm too after hearing her. He had been worried too by Uchiha's fate. Nevertheless Kakashi looked straight at her somehow thoughtful and concerned.

"Can he still be a shinobi? Can he be sent to do missions? Can he train?"

Tsunade thought about each question before answering. Shizune had a very serious and preoccupied face.

"He can. If he receives the shots needed to avoid future seizures he can do it. His condition won't be different from before this last symptom. He can live his now normal life. But" She paused narrowing her eyes with a distant spark of meditation. "I cannot guarantee that the seizure can't go back again. I cannot guarantee that Sasuke won't suffer from another again. I only can control it but not erase it like his other symptoms, like his own illness. I hope you can understand it and accept what it truly means."

Kakashi nodded and Shikamaru just frowned. Naruto bowed his head pondering and saddening deeply.

"I don't want you to be so down about it. We still have time to do something. I haven't left this matter and I'm still working on it. But more importantly, I don't want you to be so obvious with Sasuke about it. You know him. Don't look like he's dying or something like that because he's not."

"Does he understand the complete significance of his condition?"

Shikamaru asked seriously. Tsunade lowered his gaze thinking.

"Yes, he does. He's my patient and I can't lie to him about his health. He comprehends very well the meaning. And he won't like to have you worrying and prying on him about it."

"Yeah… that's just Sasuke."

Naruto said barely smiling sadly. Kakashi peered at him moved and concerned.

"That's why I don't want you to go on telling about his real condition. I told you because you witnessed it by first hand but only for that. Sasuke doesn't know that I told you all I know about it. He thinks I told you just that the seizure was another symptom from his sickness and that I don't quite know why it happened and just that. I questioned him about it, if he agreed with me to tell you the truth about it and he denied it to me. But thinking it I believe I can and have to tell you. So please don't make me lose his trust in this. And besides if someone who wants to hurt him or kill him knows about it, it can be taken as an advantage against Sasuke. It's for his safety. Do you understand? "

The three ninja nodded serious and loyal and then Tsunade sorted out the papers from the report of their mission that Shikamaru had done.

"You all did a very good job indeed. Even Sasuke. I'm impressed. You did it so easily and without turning badly injured or one of you dead. Well done. I didn't expect less anyway. Your writing and information is a little sloppy Shikamaru but it's fine knowing what happened. You all can go now until any of you receive another mission."

The three got up obedient and respectful and walked to the door when the Hokage called them again with a calmer expression in her beautiful face.

"You can take Sasuke home. Shizune will show you the way. Have a nice day."

Naruto smiled wide and warm and thanked cheerful Tsunade making her to smirk and laugh at his optimistic behavior. She saw the three going out from her office following her loyal assistant and friend. When they were gone and she was alone in the big office she sighed tired and thoughtful and put her back completely against the comfortable chair staring at the ceiling. She wondered smiling sadly about her breaking the promise she had done to her patient, Sasuke Uchiha. She remembered her onyx gaze fixed in her after denying with a gesture the possibility of sharing the reality of his last symptom. He had been so decided and cold about it. Then she simply got up and walked to the window seeing in a flashback his face and by consequence Miyu's little and sweet one.

_At least one of us can tell the truth, right Sasuke?_

* * *

Nobody understood the unexpected and desperate intention of Naruto of bringing him and Miyu together again. He even wanted to do the same with Sakura-Chan. Only Shikamaru could understand the real reason behind that attitude that for others seemed helpless, useless or pointless. Naruto just laughed jokingly and cheerful when they told him that he shouldn't meddle in his two friend's life and that it was impossible to do something like that by force if they didn't want to do it willingly. But Naruto was a stubborn person when it comes to hope and someone telling him something that he cannot achieve. Shikamaru chose to reserve his own opinion but didn't judge the blond and optimistic shinobi about it.

He knew that Naruto had understood what Tsunade-Sama had said. Sasuke wasn't dying. But there was a chance hanging over his head, probably slightly, by the hand of a strong and dangerous seizure. It was playing with luck to think the chance that Sasuke indeed have to survive another seizure more intense than the first one. He personally thought that the Hokage's treatment will work just fine and if Sasuke in fact could have another seizure it won't be worse than the first one. That was the plan all along, right? To prevent it and make it smaller if the seizure appeared again in Sasuke's life. But Naruto wasn't like him so he just let him be. And thinking it deeply and honestly, he wanted too to have Sasuke and Sakura and their daughter like a little and united family instead a broken one.

Kakashi took Sasuke with him again but Naruto wasn't mopping anymore about it. He seemed to be in friendly terms with Sasuke again and invited to have lunch or dinner with him like the old times and surprisingly Sasuke had agreed at least twice. Shikamaru then thought that the chance of him dying could be higher than he had believed if the world was changing like that. The smart Jounin then just laughed for his sarcasm and was glad that Uchiha was trying even little by little to restart or more precisely build a social life.

But it was troublesome to know something others don't. Especially if you have to share it with a noisy and impulsive friend like Naruto. And Shikamaru in fact wasn't good in keeping secrets too. The only thing that prevented him from spilling out the truth was imaging the face of the angry Hokage and the infuriated look of Sasuke. Yeah. That was troublesome to imagine and he sighed keeping his mouth shut every time his other friends talked sadly about Naruto's fervent desire to bring together his two best friends.

"Tomorrow I had another mission with Kakashi-Sensei, Tenten and Sakura! Yeah!"

Shikamaru just sighed tired seeing his enthusiasm and saw all the sad looks in their other friends. Tenten cleared her throat blinking nervously like if she couldn't say what she wanted to.

"Naruto… you know, I don't think it's a good idea to talk about Sasuke with Sakura. I don't think she would react fine at it."

"She's right." Neji supported her staring serious at the blond and cheerful shinobi. "We thought you were very angry at him."

"Yeah man, you're confusing us!"

Kiba said glaring at him. Naruto just shrugged thoughtful.

"I talked with him in our last mission. I got to an agreement with him."

Ino sighed exhausted from his stamina and little brain.

"But I guess that agreement didn't have the part of Sakura and him together, right?"

"Hell no! But…"

Naruto just smirked evilly and jokingly. Their friends crossed looks worried.

"Naruto please just promise us you won't do something stupid, please."

"Why would I do something stupid Lee?"

"He refers to the part when after your meddling with their life she ends crushed and hurt and he ends despised and colder than ever."

Shikamaru smirked by Ino's comment. Naruto finally got a serious expression in his face and sighed calmly and smiling nostalgic.

"I won't ever do that. I now I have to be careful. They're my friends so how can I hurt them deliberately? It's just that I want some agreement or peace between them. I know I cannot make Sasuke to fall in love with Sakura-Chan just like that. I know there's almost not hope to see them together some day and Miyu having the two by her side and like a family. But if I can only make him to feel sorry and show it to Sakura… I think I will be satisfied and glad if after that they can be friends again."

They listened at him quite surprised and meditating it with softer and touched looks. Naruto then returned to his usual cheerful self chuckling and scratching his head. His friends sighed resignated to it and didn't say a word about it anymore but Chouji's question warned Shikamaru.

"When did you discover that?"

"Well in fact it was in our last mission while we were doing it and then when he"

But Naruto was cut out by a very persistent and killing glare of Shikamaru and gulping he just laughed shrugging the question away. Saving his neck appeared Hinata and Shino who came together approaching them and changing the alarming chat's theme.

"Hey Hinata! Where were you?"

Naruto smiled kindly at her and she slightly blushed but smiled back more secure than before.

"At the Hokage's office. We got assigned a mission with Kurenai-Sensei for tomorrow."  
"Wait a minute!" Shikamaru screamed seeing every one of his friends like processing some important information. "If my brain works fine then Naruto, Sakura and Tenten will go with Kakashi-Sensei in a mission tomorrow. Neji, Lee and Ino will go with Gai-Sensei too and then one of us: Kiba, Chouji or me are left. The Hokage told me that I'll have vacations now so I hope it isn't me!"

"Why the heck are you going to have vacations and others from us not?"

Ino glared envious and angry (joking in fact) at his lazy friend.

"Well my dear Ino, I'm special you know. I was made Chunin before you and then Jounin."

Shikamaru smirked proud of himself with look lost in reverie of past and glorious memories. Ino knew he was just mocking all of them but she played along with it.

"Oh forgive me smartass!"

"I hope it's me! I want to have some action!"

"Hmm…"

Kiba and Chouji responses were to the matter in hand. Shino sighed somehow amused by the different reactions of his friends at the notice. Hinata looked at Naruto concerned.

"In fact no one of you three will be a partner of Hinata and me this time. Sasuke was assigned to come with us under Kurenai-Sensei's orders."

"Really?"

Naruto asked glad and optimistic and his quiet girlfriend nodded happily seeing him like that. Shikamaru sighed relieved grateful for not being him. All the others were quiet pondering about it.

"It's that ok for Sasuke? We knew he had some sort of seizure in the last mission and he was hospitalized."

"Yeah, that's true."

Shikamaru and Naruto crossed looks serious but disguised it with calm after receiving Lee and Kiba's words. Hinata peered worried at her cheerful boyfriend who looked preoccupied and nervous for some seconds. Shikamaru was quick to answer back immediately.

"Yes, he had some sort of seizure but it just another of his damn mysterious symptoms and the Hokage took care of it. He's fine. He'll do it excellent like always."

Their ignorant friends nodded calmer and glad being sincerely worried for the Uchiha. They weren't still happy for the way he had been acting since his return especially with Sakura and Miyu but they wanted him to be the great shinobi he used to be and be fine and had a good life honestly. Just Shino and Hinata looked at each other concerned and communicating something in silence and Shikamaru noticed it but didn't say anything.

They all parted to their respective homes saying and waving goodbyes and wishing the best to everyone and planning a reunion when they all were again together in Konoha even with Sasuke and Sakura if Naruto had luck in his mad plan (they doubted it sadly). The only left at the end were Naruto, Hinata and Shino. Shikamaru had stared on purpose at Naruto warning him from the silent and thoughtful pair so when the three were alone Shino serious got to the point straight.

"Hinata and I heard something concerning about Sasuke."

Naruto nodded trying to show he was calm but he inwardly gulped nervously. Shino questioning him like that it was freaking him out. Hinata was looking serenely and preoccupied at his blond boyfriend.

"We don't exactly know but it seems that Tsunade-Sama, Shizune and Kakashi-Sensei were against in the choice of him by the Council in this mission. The only way the three agreed was when Kakashi-Sensei himself proposed to them to put Kurenai-Sensei in his place in the leadership of this mission. He seemed to consider her a better choice and leader this time. Kurenai-Sensei was going the one leading you, Sakura and Tenten in your mission but she accepted the change of plans. We're worried because Tsunade-Sama and Shizune still seemed against Sasuke going. Why?"

Naruto was left speechless hearing him. He didn't know and he in fact was surprised and damn concerned about it. Did Tsunade-Baachan and Shizune consider him still weak and unable to do a mission after his seizure days ago? Did they have another reason? Why Kakashi-Sensei did that and accepted Sasuke going?

"I heard that Sasuke is not pretty prepared to face Genjutsu. Maybe that's why they were worried about. Kurenai-Sensei is an expert in the matter. Kakashi-Sensei probably thought it and decided to change places with her."

Hinata said simply thinking it true. Shino and Naruto himself meditated her theory and found it very positive. Naruto thought that maybe Tsunade-Baachan and Shizune were concerned in putting Sasuke in a Genjutsu fight with his secret seizure's problem and that's why they had gone against the order of the Council. Kakashi-Sensei probably thought it was useless going against them especially if knowing Sasuke would do it anyway and just accepted the fact and do the best he could to ensure Sasuke's safety and health. He nodded calmer and grateful for their protection and worry towards his friend.

"That must be. You should have told me before Hinata."

Shino said sincerely and she nodded shyly.

"I didn't think it would matter."

"Oh Hinata. You should always tell what you think. You never know when you can be telling the truth without knowing."

"Yes."

She smiled kind at her serene teammate who nodded back and Naruto smiled proud of her.

"See Hinata? I'm not the only one who thinks you're bright!"

Shino just laughed amused at his adoring gaze fixed in the dark haired girl while she nodded awkwardly and blushed but smiled serenely. Then Shino and Hinata decided to go home to rest for the mission tomorrow and Naruto agreed with them. The three walked talking about their friends (gossiping) and when they approached Naruto's house first he embraced lovingly her telling her to take care and shooting a menacing look in Shino's direction trying to mimic Neji's one (Take care of my girl or I'll kill you) but he only got the bug's boy amused by his failed attempt and then the humiliated and funny blond kissed Hinata's cheek happily and told them something before turning his back at them and enter the building.

"Hey… please, take care of him, ok?"

They just nodded surprised and moved and saw him disappearing optimistic and noisy like always into the shadowy entrance.

* * *

_Hinata POV_

I had promised Naruto to take care of myself and until now I had done it pretty well. But I hadn't taken care of Sasuke like I had promised him and I felt worried and scared because Shino, who had done the same promise to him like me, hadn't taken care of himself and I had ended in our mission with my two teammates and friends injured badly and with the only support of my sensei.

We were tracking a band of robbers who didn't care to kill their victims cruelly after taking the things they had without any remorse about it. The leader of them was a great shinobi who had experience and ability in Genjutsu and had taught it to his partners in crime and the four of us had found quite stressful to battle the ten of them. Genjutsu can be tricky and dangerous if you don't know how to defend and attack against it. I always considered being the one more dangerous and damaging of the three powers of the ninja. Taijutsu and Ninjutsu seemed fair to battle and didn't use your own head or heart to take advantage over you. But the Genjutsu was different and especially if you have to fight someone who mastered it perfectly.

Kurenai-Sensei had fought excellently and without any problem about it like I had expected it. I had had it hard with my own fights but I was able to attack and defend pretty good even doubting some times disconcerted by my enemies acts. I had tried to keep and eye on Shino and Sasuke very worried for my two friends but I couldn't do it like I had wanted to.

The only certain thing I knew was that I caught the moment in one look when Shino was severely attacked and submitted violently by two enemies. My heart gripped at the intense concern and fear for his life and I did all I can to immobilize my opponents and run to his aid the quicker I could. Then I saw a similar scene happening with Sasuke trapped in the middle and I witnessed how hard he was battling against the effect of the Genjutsu technique put on him by one of his enemies and how he was losing control of the situation little by little.

I knew I had to do something to help my two teammates. Kurenai-Sensei had fought two and they were fainted in the ground but she was fighting back other two and one of them was the stronger of all, the leader himself. I defeated one of my opponents and focused in the last feeling desperate and deeply preoccupied by the hurt Shino lying in the ground and Sasuke fighting back and losing it. But I was a shinobi so I tried to freeze my desperation and calm myself concentrating in defeating the man in front of me mocking me for being a girl.

But I hadn't time left.

I saw like in slow motion by the corner of my eye how the two enemies that had injured Shino went straight to him with the mere intention of killing him off and then go next to Sasuke and me. I screamed Shino's name trying to warn him from the real and unstoppable menace feeling tears of impotence in my eyes and anger at the man who was holding me back in his fight. I watched how Shino couldn't move from his spot and I felt my throat dry and squeezed but then I saw Sasuke forgetting about his own fights and doing an extreme effort he got out from their attacks and went almost flying without caring for himself to help Shino. He was closer just for seconds before the two men assaulted Shino and Sasuke pulled him by his chest just in time to be away from the secure and certain death Shino would have suffered if he hadn't made it in time.

I sighed relieved when I saw them out of danger and focused and filled with the determination showed from Sasuke I defeated easily my opponent and Kurenai-Sensei did the same with her own. The two of us smiled proud and concentrated and we took care of the ones that had fought Shino and Sasuke the quicker and easier we could. We were pretty worried for them when we didn't see them moving in the spot Sasuke himself had chosen to take a hurt Shino.

When the ten men were defeated and unconscious lying sprawled in the ground we run to them and I felt my heart crushed seeing how badly injured Shino was. He was lying and gasping for air and covered in blood and was barely conscious and he couldn't move and had a lot of deep gashes in his chest, arms, legs and face. The tears formed again in my eyes but I didn't cry forcing myself to be strong and have a clear and cold mind. Sasuke by the other hand was better than him and was sitting against the big and tall tree he had chosen to take refugee but he was panting exhausted and unable to move and he had a deep and bleeding injury in his left leg just like the ones Shino had but it seemed worse and bigger.

The two men who were going to kill Shino had done it to him when he had run to help him.

Sasuke seemed affected by his own sickness than by the deep cut. He couldn't show clearly the pain he was feeling but his face winced very little, almost unnoticed when Kurenai had checked his leg up after checking Shino's state. He was panting hard and had a strange crystal look in his obsidian and tired and distant eyes. Kurenai-Sensei had gotten pretty serious and deeply worried and turned to me with her hands soaked in Shino's and Sasuke's blood. She ordered me trusting and quickly.

"Hinata go and find another team who can help us. If I remember correctly there has to be two more teams near this area and they had medic nin with them. Please hurry up. Shino could die if he doesn't get attention and Sasuke's leg could get worse if we don't treat that injury that it's menacing it."

I nodded with determination and I left them running the fastest I could using my Byukugan to find one of the teams she had mentioned to me. My team needed me and I couldn't fail. I had my friends' life in my hands and the trust and confidence of my sensei. So when I found the first team I literally flew to meet them feeling the trepidation and adrenaline mixed with my desperation and heart breaking concern embracing me.

* * *

_Ino POV_

Hinata was panting heavily after she encountered us suddenly surprising us and explained the hard situation her group was facing in the moment. The four of us, Gai-Sensei, Lee, Neji and I were damn worried and affected hearing of the high and certain possibility of Shino's death and the state of Sasuke. Gai-Sensei immediately ordered us to follow a very secure and strong Hyuuga Heiress and we run the fastest we could immersed in the gripping seriousness the news brought for our shy friend had risen.

We were lucky that we had completed our task before the anticipated time and we had decided to return to the village walking and relaxing for some time instead of running like almost always. That was why Hinata had been able to find us easier.

It took us 10 minutes to reach the spot where the rest of the team commanded by Kurenai-Sensei was waiting for help. Immediately I put myself in businesses checking up Shino first because he was in the nearly verge of death while all the others were watching me work in deadly silence and deeply preoccupation at every one of my acts. Kurenai-Sensei had treated the best she could Sasuke's injured leg and he himself was more attentive at Shino's state than his own. This was the first time in my entire career and training as a medic nin that I felt intensely frustrated, impotent and angry at myself. It was terrible and hurtful to have to say the truth to all of them who were waiting me to work a miracle in seconds and save our friend's life easily. I watched seriously Shino's blood in my own hands trembling in desperation and fury. I controlled my tears threading me to fall. I had done what I could and the deep gashes weren't bleeding as bad as before but that was all. He had lost enough blood.

"I can´t do it all by myself!" I simply stated sad and mad with my weakness in training even when I knew very well that I had done a great learning from both Tsunade-Sama and Sakura. "I need other medic nin, I need help! He had lost a lot of blood and even using all my chakra the only way to heal him is with the help of another medic nin! And I don't even know exactly if I can perform the technique I had in mind alone without assistance!"

I cried out sincerely humiliated by the acceptance of my own failure. I kept my chakra focusing in his unconscious body lying there to keep him alive.

"It's ok Ino, don't desperate." Kurenai-Sensei said calm and collected even deeply concerned by Shino's life, one of his students since years ago. "Hinata, Neji, please locate the other team that had another medic nin quickly. Shino doesn't have time enough to waste and we need to give Ino the help she needs."

Hinata and Neji nodded immediately and run following her orders in different directions using his special ability. Kurenai-Sensei asked Gai and Lee to take care of Sasuke who was still staring intensely Shino and she didn't leave my side while I was keeping the flame of his life alive for some minutes more. Gai-Sensei took a look at Sasuke's leg with Lee's help and I knew from their serious faces that his injury was bad like the ones Shino had in almost all his limp body. Sasuke wasn't in the verge of death indeed but if his injury weren't treated well and soon it could damage the leg to the extent of probably losing it. I kept pushing my chakra through all Shino's body praying silently and hopefully for the return of Neji or Hinata with some help. I couldn't let my friend die. I won't do it. I kept repeating that to myself without lessening a second in my attempt of keeping him breathing and his heart beating and I felt the sweat of fear and pain in my forehead wrinkled with immense concentration in spite of my desperation burning me.

* * *

_Naruto POV_

My friends can think that I was wrong in my useless hope of bringing together Sasuke and Sakura-Chan. They had all the right and some deep part of me, that part that I always ignore when it comes of taking decisions and doing actions that almost all people thought futile, had agreed with them without a doubt. I know that a lot of hurtful things had happened between my best two friends and that even when Sakura-Chan felt the immense love for him and she will always do, it wasn't the same for Sasuke. He never had fallen in love with her and never showed even a slight attraction or like in a special way about her. In fact he never showed it to any girl even having his fangirls since he was a little boy. He had chosen to focus in his revenge and seek of power instead.

The major part of me was holding that useless hope like a torch in the deeps of an abyss. I was angry and I will be always with Sasuke for hurting her and his daughter till one fine day he would apologize to them. I'll always show him my anger and confusion honestly and flatly and he already knew that. I'll support my pink haired friend and my niece till the end even against him if he deserved it. He already knew that too. So maybe I was playing a double role here but I had to do it because they were my friends. The two of them. And I just wanted them to be happy, truly happy and had all they wanted. And I didn't want to be away from any of them since now.

I just want to note that I knew of the almost unreachable chance of Sasuke loving Sakura-Chan someday. I knew in my optimistic view that it could be possible to happen, perhaps very slightly but possible. You know, life is wise and time is merciless, just like Kakashi-Sensei used to say. But I had to go with the big reality here and that was that it was almost impossible for Sasuke to one day just fall in love with Sakura-Chan. But well, there are loves that aren't brought out for the first time. I was an example actually and right now I was deeply in love with Hina-San. So maybe my useless hope one day could be rewarded with my patience and waiting.

But if it wasn't like that at least I wanted them to have calm and understanding relationship and not only because they had a daughter together, no. They had been friends before, they had been teammates too. It was healthier and better if they try to be friends again just for their own sake. It hurt me to think that all that moments of the past can be thrown away just like that. And of course, for Miyu's future. She didn't deserve to have parents who couldn't get along and don't talk to each other. I know it's a complicated situation. Sasuke is guilty in this matter for bringing suffering to Sakura-Chan first for being intimately with her like if there was something deeper between the two and then to Miyu with his rejection and avoiding, that was true. I cannot erase that fact. But I wanted still for him to feel sorry and ask forgiveness. I wanted to know really, really know, why he had acted like that, why he had chosen Sakura-Chan, why he keep hurting her and rejecting his role as a father. I wanted Sakura-Chan to see him apologizing to her for making her think that two times when they slept together that he in fact felt something for her. Because you know, even when she hadn't told it clearly, that was what broke her heart into million of pieces and crushed her hope. She had thought that she had gotten the only thing she had always wanted all her life when she had been with him that two nights and she had learned in the worst possible way that she will never have it.

Was I stupid enough to believe that Sasuke could feel a little remorse and regret and probably sorry for his behavior regarding Sakura-Chan and Miyu?

The only thing that fueled me in this chance of them to settle down their situation was the late news Tsunade-Baachan had given us. That was what shadowed my useless hope and increased my fear. I wondered if Sasuke didn't see it like I had been doing it.

That was why when Kakashi-Sensei was reading one of his perverted books and Tenten was cooking dinner for the four of us the night before starting our way back home I sat down beside Sakura in the fresh grass who was just watching the moon and the stars distantly and with so much melancholy that I felt my heart gripped with sorrow. I didn't have to ask her in who she was thinking so intensely.

"Sakura-Chan..."

She spun around watching me kind and serene. A light gleam was shaking in her emerald eyes.

"What is it Naruto?"

She just asked openly looking straight at me. I stuttered a couple of times her name and she seeing me like that, doubting and without knowing how to start and not fixing my blue stare on her jade one, immediately knew in what I was into. She got pretty serious and sad and a little intent of smile was framed in her lips.

"How's Sasuke-Kun?... I heard about his seizure in your last mission... Is he ok?"

She asked honest and with a perceptible crack in her voice. I felt bad for not being able or have permission to tell her the truth. There were traces of tears in her gleaming and calm eyes. I nodded smiling shyly and still trying to avoid casually her gaze.

"Yes, he's fine now. Don't worry, Sakura-Chan, you know him. He's so stubborn and strong that he always survives against all odds."

"Yeah, that's true."

We laughed or at least tried to a little. Then there was a long pause and I noticed that she was specially sensitive and fragile this night. I pondered what the reason was but I had another matter at hand. I felt in more secure ground now after sharing with her some words.

"Sakura-Chan... Are you still scared and angry at him for kidnapping Miyu?"

She, who had been looking at the grass distant and thoughtful again turned slowly at me with a frown of confusion and pain.

"Why do you ask Naruto?"

"It just that I wonder... If you finally had decided... to never let him be a father to Miyu... that's all. I'm worry for you and for her..."

She nodded lowering her gaze and I kept looking at her by the corner of my eyes staring simply at the grass like Sakura-Chan had been doing while we were chatting.

"He hadn't... done anything about it... he hadn't tried to see her or ask me anything... I do wonder if he really cares a little... I know he had the intention of returning with her but I cannot forget how much I suffered without knowing where they were... and then I remember that time in the hospital when he had been so caring and loving with Miyu... I keep asking myself... I saw him truly honest that moment... I was so sure..."

I nodded holding her in a supporting way. She wasn't in fact crying even when her jade eyes where brimming in unshed tears. She was more thoughtful and sad than anything. Lately she had been strangely nostalgic and distant, like if she was thinking very hard in something that had caught her off guard. This was the first time in a long time that we were talking openly and sincerely about Sasuke.

"Miyu misses him. She recognizes him and she asks for him at least twice in a day... I never expect it... really. She does it with you and with the others too. I felt so crushed when she says "dada" with her little face happy and questioning about him and that sweet smile..."

So that was it. Sakura-Chan was acting this way since Miyu had started to recognize and call for Sasuke. For Miyu who was still little to understand all that was happening she just wanted to see his father often and find it strange in her ignorant and innocent world his absence from it. Sakura-Chan felt torn knowing that her daughter wanted to see his father but she didn't exactly know if he indeed wanted to see her. The fact that Miyu kept asking for Sasuke had broken somehow the secure and peaceful bubble Sakura-Chan had created around the two.

"So... What do you think?"

I asked sincerely and carefully and very concerned and moved by her ambivalence and hurt. She paused before answering me.

"I don't know... If I knew that Sasuke in fact wants to see her and cares for her... I'd suck up my pride and own suffering in her behalf once again. I'm not the one who is keeping her away from him, I'm just protecting her because I don't have a clue of what his true feelings for her are... but I don't have the strength to go and ask him about it... I don't feel secure enough... I'm so weak, don't you think?"

She looked at me by the corner of her green eyes with a sad smile while some rebel tears were falling through her cheeks. Her thoughtful gaze was serene in spite of all. I hugged her tighter feeling torn and sympathetic towards her.

"Don't say that Sakura-Chan! You're not weak! You're just confused and hurt, that's all. You want the best for Miyu. You have to think in her security and that's why you have to be certain about all. But I just want to tell you something, alright?"

She nodded and looked up to me calmer and sad. I could only imagine how hard and rough was to hear her little girl asking about his dad day after day. And knowing how emotional was my friend I knew that had pained her deeply and honestly.

"Sasuke is now an active ninja again. You know what that means, right?" She nodded again knowing with anticipation my underlines there. The life of a ninja was a dangerous one and you could end badly injured or even dead. "Do you want to one fine day to receive the notice of him being badly injured or death without settling things with him? Without him being a father to Miyu if he maybe wants it? We don't know yet if he doesn't care really a bit about her."

I saw the information sinking roughly and deeply in her tormented mind. Her green gaze was lost in thought and realization and she dropped her head slowly without saying anything else. I smiled saddened by her fragile state.

"Just think about it. Please. He has to apologize to you one day for the pain he caused you. But you don't have to wait to act like the mature one and settle yourself. Even if you two can't be closer friends again, even if you can't have what you really want from him, at least you can be in peace and clarity with Sasuke. I'm not telling you to do it right now, take your time, and think about it. I won't let him hurt you again and if he does it, I'll punish him. You have my promise."

I chuckled and smiled widely sincere and kind and she just chuckled at my gesture of promise (my hand against my heart) and nodded more cheerful than before but still meditating our little cross of words. And so I knew I had done what I can do right now for my two best friends and the little girl that called me "Nachan". We both didn't say anything more and stayed looking up at the stars and the moon immersed in our own feelings and thoughts regarding our friend in common.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

Naruto's words were in my head and heart all that night long. The memories of Miyu asking me sweetly for Sasuke had been printed in my soul forever. That night I barely sleep thinking hard in the little chat my blond friend and I had, without telling him the other reason why I was so sensitive and fragile this night.

The surrounding in the spot where we had decided to rest and sleep before returning to Konoha was so similar to the one where I had made love to him the second time we met that it had gone straight to my nostalgic eyes burning its path through my reminding brain and the beating muscle inside my chest. Some scenes of our night together, when I had told him that I was pregnant with his child filled my mind sadly with detail and suffering. We had had sex (but for me I had made love to him) that night and not only twice in a place similar to the one I was standing right now.

And then, ironically, the moon and the stars were there too like that unforgettable night.

So when the morning came and Kakashi-Sensei, Tenten and Naruto looked at me they were somehow worried for my evident lack of good sleep. I denied their concern and just smiled telling them that like a medic nin I was used to work several hours without stopping and a night of not sleeping won't be a problem to me. Besides, I was a mother too, so that doubled over my resistance. They calmed after seeing me cheerful and talkative and we had breakfast (Tenten cooked it too again, she was an amazing chef) and we prepared ourselves to go back to the village. Only Naruto knew probably what was the real turmoil of thoughts and feelings inside of me but he was kind and considerate enough to not push me about it or tell something to my friend or former sensei.

I had forced myself to put this matter called Sasuke-Kun waiting in line for later when again, destiny was against me like almost always, ironically in fact. The four of us were running through the forest in our path to Konoha when Neji and Hinata appeared of nowhere in front of us surprising and worrying my teammates and me. I knew they hadn't to be together because they were in different teams this time. And my mind reminded the fact that Sasuke-Kun was in Hinata's team. Without understanding it completely my chest hurt and my heart was grabbed by uncertain fear and concern but I got my head to stay cold and collected and my mind working like a medic nin and a well trained ninja.

And I had to gather a lot of strength and courage, concentration and rationality when they explained why they were there and why they had been seeking us since minutes ago.

The part of Neji saying that Shino was badly injured and almost dying and that Ino and her team were there waiting for me to help her and then, saying that Sasuke-Kun had a pretty bad injury in his leg that can damage it horribly, sunk terribly and deeply within me immediately. I don't know how but I was carried for my duty as a medic nin and my heart just obeyed my head's orders and decisions and I, calm and collected with intense worry and fear in my green tired eyes, followed the Hyuga pair with my other teammates behind me on my heels.

We run for 10 minutes till we reached the spot where the teams of each Byakugan user were and I saw Sasuke-Kun beside a lying Shino with my heart skipping beats and my mouth without words and a searing and pulsing pain clutching my entire being. But again, the medic nin in me was demanding and overpowering all the other parts of me and getting near them I immediately put myself to work and asked Ino about Shino's state. I didn't dare to cast a casual look or see by the corner of my serious jade gaze at Sasuke-Kun. I knew he had his black and feverish look on me, I could feel it burning my skin and the back of my head. Shino's state prevented everyone there to really realize what it meant to me and to him to stay in the same spot since that afternoon when I had slapped him twice after the kidnapping of my little girl.

Ino explained me what she wanted to try on Shino's body and I nodded amazed and giving her a small smile of recognition at her training. She nodded grateful for the confidence I showed her and we put our hands to work in saving our friend's life. I could sense that Kakashi-Sensei had checked Sasuke-Kun's leg up and was worried about it. I felt that Ino got stronger and more secure with me there and I felt glad for her feeling pride in having a partner like her as a medic nin. The both of us worked hard in treating and saving Shino and after half an hour performing a technique Ino had lead excellently with my support we did it and Shino stopped bleeding and we were able to maintain his breathing and his beating in a regular rhythm and the blood left in his injured body running through his veins. Ino and I were exhausted but we were immensely happy for our friend who would survive this threat.

Then, when Ino said that she was going to take care of him (he was her patient since the beginning) I knew I had to take care of the other injured person there. Gai-Sensei, Kurenai-Sensei and Kakashi-Sensei were discussing in a way to take them back safely to the village. Lee, Neji, Tenten, Hinata and Naruto were watching me and Ino working with Shino very worried and serious. Naruto was beside Sasuke accompanied him and trying to soothe him in his injured state.

It was now that I felt all of their looks on me casually remembering now and knowing in what kind of position I was. Ironically and strangely it was Sasuke-Kun's gaze which wasn't staring at me now and he had dropped it panting. His leg was still bleeding. Badly, unlucky and sarcastically for me my inner medic nin, who acted with responsibility and being centered was right now failing, shaking and weakening inside me. I felt like moving in slow motion when in fact it was the other way around and I approached him kneeling beside him and in front of Naruto who stood supportive at his other side and trying to not fix my trembling emerald eyes on his pale and beautiful face I directed my hands at his bleeding and injured leg and amazingly I saw them trembling slightly. Even the voices of the sensei went silent for minutes or maybe I just turned deaf suddenly hearing only the beating of my own heart in my ears. Why Naruto had gotten up and when that I didn't notice it?

_Damn it Sakura! Are you or not a medic nin? Treat him immediately you fool! He's suffering and hurting even when he cannot show it stupid!_

That was right I told myself after hearing my old and long forgotten inner self screaming at the top of her lungs inwardly. I frowned serious and remembering my devotion at my career and the undying love I felt for this patient in particular and I put myself to work checking his leg and trying to heal it the best I could. I knew that Shino and he needed special care that only the hospital and Shizune and Tsunade-Sama could perform. So I, seeing still a little shaking in my hands do the best I knew I could do to heal and submit Sasuke-Kun's pain feeling electricity and weakness when I touched his broken skin and my heart filled with the love's stroke I felt only for touching him with my fingers softly and I lost my breathing for a second. I wanted so bad to heal him completely and take away the pain he was surely feeling and couldn't show properly. I wanted so bad to cure him and see him standing without a single scar of that awful gash.

I controlled myself trying to win over the hurricane of feelings, thoughts, emotions and sensations awaken in every single part of my being. I focused in treating him quickly and the best I could and I remembered myself in what terms we were. The sadness took home again in my soul and soothed my throbbing heart and pounding mind. When I had finished and his injury wasn't bleeding and I had bandaged it carefully and almost adoringly I lifted my tired and serious stare without remembering that I was so close to him and I found myself looking directly only away from his face for inches. He was staring at me straight and longingly with his stoic expression and cold face. I thought I saw total confidence in me but I could probably confuse it with just disgruntled observation from his part.

I wanted so bad to hold him. But I knocked sense on myself and disguised my trepidation, anxiety and worry with seriousness and frowning and concentration and I glared at him with purpose and a bold spark trembling inside at the powerful black of his eyes sweeping over me. I felt weak just being stared by him like that. Before standing up and entertain myself with whatever else the others were doing I couldn't help to lower my jade gaze to his lips which were half opened and I wanted so bad to kiss them softly.

Instead I smiled sadly at myself inwardly scolding my inner loving self and I stood up without daring to shoot another glance at him and that face of his that I cherish with my eternal and lectured love and those lips tempting me to caress them with the feelings I cannot get rid of yet and still grip my aching heart.


	17. Protecting

**A/N:**

I'm so so deeply sorry for the delay. It was two weeks I think. But I had been so busy with my job that I wasn't able to update. I hope it doesn't happen again! I promise to work harder to update like before.

Now I'll go to the reviews left the previous chapter:

Thanks to:

**sasusaku779 **(I'm sorry for breaking your heart every chapter! Ha, ha, and yes, sasusaku will be getting somewhere chapter after chapter, yeah! Ha, ha, thank you for your review and for all, thanks!!)

**SunriseHorizon **(New? Welcome! Thank you for loving my story! I hope that Karin doesn't end with Sasuke either! I preferred her with Suigetsu, ha, ha, thanks for your review!!)

**LauryUchiha** (Oh yeah, our Sasuke-Kun injured! Thank you for loving my story! Poor Sakura, tried to understand her, ha, ha, and don't worry I would do the same to him! You'll see since this chapter if Sakura stops being an EMO, ha, ha, I don't know still if Sasuke will die or not... I'm evil, he, he. Please don't stop stalking me! I read your PM, thanks to remind me to update and forcing me! And yes you can call me Monichan, I don't mind! Thanks a lot!)

**lunaestrlla** (Thank you for loving this chapter! You'll have to wait if he sees Miyu again! Thank you for your constant review!!)

**LadyPadmeNaberrie** (Hmm... I don't know if Sasuke will die at the end... I'm evil... he, he, and yes you'll see Sakura changing her attitude because at the end is precisely how you say. But you know, I had to make it hard and complicated to her! Ha, ha, thank you, thank you, thank you!!)

**liljapangrl03 **(Well you can start to see the answer you want from this chapter! Don't worry it will come sooner or later. Thanks a lot for your review!!)

**xx-tenshi-xx **(I'm sorry for the lack of love till this chapter but the story had to be that way, and it's about Miyu because Sakura thinks she's the only link she has with Sasuke. About the photo of Sakura I had thought about it before but at the end I didn't put it. In fact she was going to be in the picture with Miyu. I'll be waiting for your review about this chapter!! Ha, ha, Thanks a lot!!)

**touchtheskies **(I'm glad that you found more than what you're waiting for! Thank you for your sincere words, I'm glad you like it! I like intricated plots and I'm happy knowing that I'm doing a good job with the story. I hope too to end up with Sasuke and Sakura together as a couple and a family with their daughter. That will be so sweet and cute. Don't worry there will come chapters with more interaction between the three of them. Thank you for put me in all your lists, thank you, thanks a lot!!)

**missyserena214 **(Thank you for reviewing my story, thanks a lot really!)

**jay-alexis **(I'm glad your loving these late chapters. Happy days? Hmm... ha, ha, yeah, I know what you mean! Thanks to you for reviewing!!)

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only **(I never wrote from Sasuke's POV because if I did it, all the story will be revealed easily. That's why his story is seen through others especially Sakura. You're right in saying he's a major component but Sasuke POV will be used later in other chapters, I promise but not right now, he, he. I'll love that you're saying I'm writing a novel! Thank you, thank you, thanks a lot!!)

**See you later then!!**

**Chapter 17**

**Protecting**

"Are you sure of what you're saying Kurenai?"

Tsunade asked seriously staring at the red eyed woman. This one just nodded affirmative.

"The information given to us to complete this mission was incomplete. They were supposed to be only 5 of them and the only secure users of Genjutsu 3. But instead they were 10 and all of them were Genjutsu experts. That was why we were surprised and ambushed so easily. We weren't expecting that big change in strategy."

"I don't understand it. We supposedly recollect information enough to help and guarantee the success in the missions."

Gai expressed confused and thoughtful. Kakashi paused before speaking.

"I think all of us guess why this happened in this case in particular. Or I am wrong?"

He looked at the persons sitting there in the Hokage's office. Anko, Kurenai, Gai and Tsunade just didn't say anything but their common frown told everything anyway. Just Shizune was confused wondering about it.

"What are you saying Kakashi-Sensei?"

"We know why this happened. And not only by guesses Shizune." Tsunade said with her hands intertwined across her young face and her elbows resting tensely in the table. "This happened because Sasuke was in the team. This wasn't just a coincidence. That's what all of us thought."

Shizune seemed scandalized and amazed by her words.

"But… but why?! That incomplete data could have been the death to all the team! It put in danger not only Sasuke-Kun!"

"That's true. But I think they knew that I would be able to handle the situation if it turned bad. They knew I'm an expert in Genjutsu."

Kurenai said frankly serious.

"Still… The Council now must be going nuts because of Shino's near death. If his clan knew about the real purpose of this mission…"

Gai didn't finish the sentence but all of them knew already what was next. Anko sighed angry and serious.

"The real purpose of this mission… What was it? To let Sasuke die in completing it? To have him badly injured? To prove him?"

"In fact we don't have a clear answer to that and unfortunately we don't have real proof of what we're thinking and discussing. I don't have a clue of what they want with Sasuke and sometimes I have the feeling that all of this goes far from fear of him due his past sworn revenge against the institution of the Council."

Kakashi nodded looking fixed at the floor. He felt the same way as the smart Hokage. Shizune was still shocked by the things she was hearing. Tsunade finally let out a deep breath and put her tired back against her comfortable chair looking up at the ceiling. "We'll let this for now. The things said here are forbidden to be commented to anyone else. We need to keep an eye on the Council and on Sasuke." Then she turned at her dark haired assistant. "How are Shino and Sasuke by the way?"

"They're recovering very well in fact. Shino-Kun needs to stay a week for his complete recovery and healing but he's conscious. And Sasuke-Kun doesn't need to stay hospitalized anymore. He can go home right now. Ino-San and Sakura-San did a wonderful job treating them."

"Yeah that's true. I'm very proud of that two. Thanks to them our job was easier and there won't be scars left from their injuries."

Tsunade added smirking proudly while Shizune nodded smiling.

"By the way, that had to be an interesting scene to see between Sakura and Sasuke. And in the way back to the village I suppose there was another one to watch."

Anko said smiling sadly and thoughtful. They all didn't say anything thinking worried in the two young ones. Kakashi had noticed how difficult had been to Sakura to be near Sasuke who didn't seem affected at all at having her as his medic nin all the way back Konoha like if there was nothing special between the two. Gai and Kurenai had noticed too the heavy atmosphere around his two former students. The only happy and cheerful it had been Naruto who was excited to be reunited with Team 7 like the old times. Or almost.

They leave the Hokage's office and Kakashi went following Shizune to Sasuke's room to take him home. Being in silence and walking through calm and almost empty halls his mind wondered off to the hours prior this one when they were still in the forest planning a way to travel with a very injured Shino and a Sasuke who couldn't walk. They had decided to return immediately after Ino had stabilized Shino and Sakura had treated Sasuke and another team had taken care of the ten criminals. They didn't have time to lose if they wanted to help them. Kakashi was only feeling secure and certain about his decision of changing places with Kurenai. From what he had heard, he had done well leaving her the mission and leadership of the team. Asuma from wherever he was must be watching her very proud of the mother of his child.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

When I reached Sasuke's room to take him home I got pretty surprised to find Sakura outside the room lost in thought. The melancholy and confusion in her face was so strong that I felt it burned a path inside my heart. She heard my footsteps approaching her and was slightly caught off guard and shaken from being pulled out of her reverie. I smiled calm at her standing by her side. She smiled back just for courtesy and I understood it.

"Are you going to talk to Sasuke?"

She lowered her distant gaze frowning and paused before answering me looking straight at the closed door.

"No. In fact I only came to do a last checkup in his leg before you can take him home. I'm a medic nin and he was my patient, it's a responsibility and I won't run from it just because it's him. I don't want to be that kind of medic nin."

She said firmly and I nodded proudly. Sakura had a secure and decided aura around her and was relying in the strength she was able to gather right now masked behind her career. But I saw the deep worry and hurt that her love for Sasuke was screaming at her ignorant state.

"That's very good to hear. But you could have asked Ino or Shizune to do it if you wanted it."

"I know it. Tsunade-Sensei told me something like that but I'm fine with it. Like I said, it's my job. I can't do differences between patients. Don't worry Kakashi-Sensei."

She smiled softly calmer. I just let out an "Hmm" and before entering the room she stopped me saying something more to herself than me.

"I can't be the one taking the first step for reconciliation… not now at least. Not until I know… until I have a clue about his intentions over Miyu. Because I know I would be a fool if I wait for know his intentions over me. We only had our daughter in common. That's why I…"

She couldn't finish her sentence due to the emotion taking control of her voice. She didn't want to force feelings out of Sasuke that he didn't in fact feel. I knew Naruto had talked with her and Sakura was still thinking about it. But it was soon yet to take a decision. And to tell the truth, I wanted Sasuke to give her a little clue, maybe insignificant, of being him taking the first step now. He was in better shape than before to do it. She wasn't Miyu. He never had a problem confronting Sakura.

I nodded at her in support and she got her firm and serious face again and together we entered at the room. Sasuke was sitting in the bed facing the open window distantly and coldly. When he heard us he turned slowly and just stared at us for a little moment till he changed his position facing now us and knowing perfectly well why Sakura was there. He seemed somehow a little surprised to see her there and didn't stop looking directly at her when she tried to avoid her eyes meeting his and sorted out the papers she had of his file and then took a chair and sat down in front of him. The little moments when she had to cross looks with him she didn't let herself to stay watching him. She immediately averted her emerald gaze like if she wasn't giving special importance to him. The unreadable face of Sasuke didn't let me know exactly what he was feeling and thinking from this situation. He just faced her like he faced anyone but his intense stare gave me the feeling that he couldn't comprehend why she was there and there was something strange in the way he was looking directly at her.

But then he started to move his black eyes to his surrounding and sometimes he crossed them with mine or let them lay in some empty space or furniture in the room.

Sakura started to take off the bandage of his leg to change it before going home with me in silence. I felt awkward there seeing that tense and sad scene in front of me while I folded my arms and crossed them against my chest and laid my back against the wall. Sometimes I thought I caught Sakura looking hopefully at him by the corner of her nostalgic green gaze. And sometimes I thought I caught Sasuke looking confusedly at her by the corner of his stoic dark eyes.

And I sighed wondering what they wanted in fact to tell to the other but no one dare to say out loud. At least while we were running in the forest they had been more communicative and sensitive to the other's presence. Sakura had been by his side taking care of him even when I had carried him through all the way taking turns with Naruto. Every once in a while we stopped to rest and check Shino's state who was being carried by Gai and Lee in a perfect duo being careful to not hurt him unnecessarily with a dedicated Ino watching over his patient. But Sakura had been professional till the end and had asked and cared for Sasuke with bigger emotion being the boy she loved and he had been kind enough to answer her questions with nods and gestures even with his printed indifferent face.

But well, when you are injured you usually forget about all. The verge of death can open your eyes perhaps only for an instant.

For better or for worse.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

I checked, cleaned and healed his leg noticing happy that the injury was healed almost completely and that the possibility of a big and deep scar was gone thanks to Shizune. Tsunade-Sama had treated Shino who was worse than Sasuke and she had done a marvelous work on him too just like all of us expected it.

I bandaged it more careful and slower than always feeling the silence in the white room trying to suffocate me. I was grateful to Kakashi-Sensei for being there in fact, he helped me with his quiet presence to no feel completely going nuts with the position I had brought myself into. I can't deny to myself that I was happily sad for being able to be near Sasuke-Kun even in a dangerous situation like the one we had lived. I hadn't seen him since the kidnapping of Miyu and I had time to feel secure and strong again to face him. I can't erase the dreading feeling of thinking in the possibility of him taking away my little girl again but I somehow had found relax and confidence again thinking very hard that he had returned with her later. He hadn't disappeared with her like I had thought first in those damn horrible hours when they were missing. That was what made me feel secure and relaxed again in my daily life and in this current situation sharing space and time with Sasuke-Kun.

I was confused and upset of knowing he didn't want to have anything with Miyu again like months ago. I was still wondering concerned and full of sorrow about it especially now that she had started to ask for him frequently and I couldn't bring his dad to her. That broke my heart. I had plenty time to recover from the terrible fear I felt from the thought of losing my daughter in his hands and I somehow knew that he must had had his own unexplained and mysterious reasons and that it was probably he wasn't going to do it again. I wanted to believe in that so I can still go on feeling secure enough with him there in Konoha and so near from us. I had seen something that day when I had slapped him hurt and in tears and somehow I had related it with remorse.

But like I said, I was happy in my deepest feeling of the hopeful and innocent little girl inside me that still believe against all odds in a future with him loving me and becoming a family with Miyu. That was the dream that hides inside me fleeing when my rational and crushed one goes hunting for useless hope. I don't know still if it's good that it hadn't found it yet and if some part of me is helping it to hide deeper and marvelously inside my aching heart.

While I was working on him I took my time to observe him really. I hadn't had the right and peaceful time to do it till now. He was thinner and paler. I saw worried and pained the scars in his wrists and arms and I pondered sadly why he had done that to himself. We all still were pondering about it and because he had done them trying to perform some sort of jutsu of sealing Tsunade-Sensei and Shizune had been unable to remove them from his body and his pale skin was always wearing the misshaped scars. I was so damn preoccupied and depressed knowing of his health and every time I heard something related to it my heart hurt again and my soul cried out praying for him. I didn't want to see him suffering or hurting. I didn't wish otherwise for him even if he wasn't for me ever. But I had been strong enough to stay away the most I could since this entire crushing story between us began and I was sadly proud of myself and the power of will I had showed till now. Several times I had had the chance to run to his aid and I hadn't done it and I had stopped myself almost restrained me painfully and intensely with all the force I could gather in my sorry state.

This time it was different because we had met without planning it and I had to be near him and take care of him being the medic nin I wanted to be. So that's why I didn't feel guilty with myself or disappointed for breaking the promise of not meddling again with his life anymore or at least not till he wanted it and just because of our daughter. I know she's the only link the two of us have now, I can't deny that and I can't turn a blind eye on it. I'm probably nothing special in his world but just the girl who gave birth to his heiress and just that. Maybe he sees me as his former teammate or friend. But we aren't close. So I know that Miyu is the only reason between us to be connected forever.

I finished bandaging his still injured leg and then I wrote down some notes in his file without locking eyes with him. I feel myself shaking sadly feeling drained for the emotional outcome of the entire episode since the beginning of my mission with Kakashi-Sensei, Tenten and Naruto. I had had time to rest and sleep but I still felt the remains of the shock of what had nearly happened. I wanted so bad to just lay my emerald gaze on him for seconds and behold his presence and ironically I found myself unable to do it now. Inner Sakura was laughing sarcastically and sadly at me. I had him a mere inches from me and I couldn't bring myself to look at him and less talk to him or lay a sweet caress in his face and kiss those wonderful lips of him.

Was I waiting for a little clue of his true feelings for me? Even if they weren't romantic? Can I hope that he feels something for me and that's why he chose me to sleep with him?

Probably he wasn't expecting to knock me up in our first encounter; after all it was just plain sex for him. Perhaps he wasn't expecting Miyu's coming as I had expected it thinking in all the possible consequences.

But at the end of the day I couldn't stop to smile with sorrow and eyes brimming with unshed and little tears after being near him again even in the worst circumstances. I had been by his side, closely, taking care of him, watching over him, breathing the same air and under the same nocturnal and morning sky. I had never imagined it something like this could happen so soon. I have been avoiding it so much that it became some sort of ritual of mine every day the sunrise was there. But it had happened without me expecting it and I couldn't lecture me for feeling utterly happy and filled with the goodness of my love that it was there above the pain, sorrow and disappointment. I had been truly happy against all and more important, against myself those hours beside him. Happily sad.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

_We hadn't taken a lot of time to stop and rest like we usually do when we're on a mission. It's a matter of survival and logic to take our time to rest, sleep, recover and treat our injuries in case we as shinobi need to. But Shino's grave state and Sasuke's dangerous wound had forced our teams to forget about the basics and put aside our own tiredness and necessities for their sake. _

_Our big team was lead by Kurenai-Sensei with Hinata side by side, and then it was the turn of Gai-Sensei and Lee-San carrying Shino in perfect synchrony and Ino watching over him constantly. Kakashi-Sensei followed them carrying Sasuke-Kun and taking turns with Naruto with me at mere inches from the boy I still love as his personal nurse and medic nin and behind us closely guarding the big group was Neji and Tenten. We hurried up through the forest knowing perfectly well that every minute could cost our friend's life._

_We only stopped to check Shino's vitals and his and Sasuke-Kun's injuries and drink water or rest for the minutes Ino and I needed to check them up. Because Sasuke-Kun wasn't as badly hurt as Shino it only took me the half time Ino needed with our Aburame friend to check him up and I had time to just stay there beside the father of my daughter in silence waiting for the order to restart our way. Naruto knowingly had left me alone with Sasuke-Kun and a part of me wanted to be angry at him for abandon me knowing how I felt and how difficult it was for me all this (He just came to wrap the both of us in a joking bear hug proclaiming how happy and nostalgic he felt being there all Team 7 together again). But the bigger part of me was thankful against my own scolding for being there with him even with deadly silence and avoiding his stare and not letting myself to touch him more than the necessary. I could only touch him as his medic nin. I repeated that line inwardly like some mad mantra trying to not feel nervous or awkward or show him how sad I was, how wrongly hopeful I felt. How he had hurt me with his incomprehensible actions and made me suffer for my unreturned love even if it wasn't his fault his lack of love for me._

_It was strange, you know. Now that I wasn't under the medic nin orders like the time when I had treated his leg and that we we're almost alone (all of the others were acting like Naruto, I know it, pretending to be busy and ignoring us) I found myself shying with his presence. Silly of me, I thought in our shared silence while the both of us were watching ahead in one time when we stopped. We had only stopped three times in our way to Konoha and this was the last one and the sunrise was near like our beloved village. The other two times nothing special had happened between Sasuke-Kun and me. I had spoken to him just for asking medical questions and he had answered me with nods and gestures with courtesy but just that. Nothing more than uncomfortable and aching silence between the parents of Miyu Haruno._

_But like I said, after the demanding medic nin in me who had been forced to go out to take care of things had disappeared and only was left the normal medic nin I started to wonder strangely why I felt like this being with him. Why I felt shy and awkward? Why I felt nervous? I had already been with this young man, I had already left him undress me and I had seen him naked. I had already made love to him two different times and each one more than twice we had had sex. I had already left him be the first one in my life. I had known him in that precious moment, so intimate, so personal, so private. We had already been intimately connected. Now while I was pointing all this to myself and getting redder on my face I wasn't able to look at him._

_I had confronted him before. That was true. But if was just to attack him and defend myself and my little girl or for saying goodbye. It was never in some sort of "normal" situation like this. Now I didn't have to yell at him for something or make a reclaim. I hadn't to push him through a window or kiss him goodbye. There we were the two. In a normalcy we hadn't had before since our sad story had begun. It was the first time I had time to think perfectly well what had happened deeply and really between us._

_Was that the reason of my actual behavior?_

_I had tried to show me strong and secure and even confront him glaring and treating him like if he wasn't nothing to me when my body and mind had betrayed me treating and healing his injured left leg with more carefulness and dedication than usual. He was just acting like I know he would, cold and distant and like if there was nothing special going on between us. We had had a daughter together. We had had slept together._

_But I had been the only one who dreamt about the else._

_I told myself inwardly that I needed to recover from the impact of the normal life between us even in these circumstances and I breathe deep calming myself. I felt stronger and confident with me and I didn't felt anymore the nervousness or shyness. Or well, that was until he turned slowly to me and I felt it and I was pulled out by the magnet hidden in his dark eyes and I locked my green shaking gaze in his face._

_And I was again bared naked just with that intense and tired black stare that submitted my emerald weakened one and I found myself with all my attention and being fixed at his indifferent look._

_And if I had thought that I was stronger and more confident after noticing and going out from my reverie caused by this normal situation between us, I was badly wrong. Just that locking of stares between him and me was enough to make my shyness to return with the nervousness and awkwardness. _

_Damn it. I was sure I had a slight rebel shade of red in my cheeks._

_And damn it. I could swear I caught him smirking inwardly at that._

_Why on Earth this had to be discovered by me now in front of him? I had known that normalcy had never been present in my terribly painful experiences with him. _

_I lectured myself telling my inner me to stand up and confront his inquisitive stare and order my face to stay calm and it its normal color. But well, I was the submitted here. I never felt so intensely like this before when we were kids or later, of course he had shaken my world every time we met but this was unexpected and uncomfortable and embarrassing. Was it because we had slept together already? It shouldn't be the other way around and shouldn't I be feeling more at ease and comfortable?_

_At least I could gather enough will power to glare at him demanding him to acknowledge me the reason why he was staring at me so intensely even with his now normal distraction. I knew that there was a light trace of the red in my cheeks still but I didn't feel quivering under his onyx eyes like before. I was going to ask him straight what he wanted but he surprised me extending his right hand to my forehead and I slightly flinched shocked by the new gesture._

_And the damn red was again more intense. Even than before._

_I opened wide my eyes and my body tensed up and I couldn't find my voice. He had gotten so closer to me that I had his face at mere inches and I could take only one movement forward to take that damn kiss I had been craving for since I had treated him hours ago. The only thing that stopped me was to know that that kiss wasn't related to anything romantic or at least felt at heart. That saddened me and made my lips to curve in a half smile full of melancholy. I was still gripped in the shock of having him so near and just in seconds, when I felt he had directed his perfect fingers to my hair and he had taken a big and green leaf from it letting it later to be blown by the fresh wind with a playfulness that amazed and moved me._

_He had been almost calm and content while he was doing it._

_I turned my gaze to the ground feeling somehow calmer but still shy, nervous and awkward. I wasn't acting like Hinata did before with Naruto when he didn't have a clue about her love for him but still I was quite surprised to discover this thing on me brought out for the unexpected situation we were facing. By the corner of my eye I saw him looking straight again in front of him and I smiled sadly and gladly accepting just the fact._

_He still had the power to make me feel like that._

_I peeped on him again but I got worried when I saw him paler and with blurry eyes and his breathing a little uneven. I saw at his leg and I saw the blood staining the white bandage slightly. The demanding medic nin in me was back and serious and controlled I sighed glad when I heard Ino saying that it was time to go. We were near Konoha. I approached him and took a look to his injured leg but I was sure and glad that the bandage was holding pretty well the bleeding. It seemed there was some sort of venom on the deep gash that it was preventing it to be closed and healed. I needed Shizune or Tsunade-Sensei's help and the clean environment and accessories._

"_Don't worry Sasuke-Kun. You'll be alright, I promise."_

_I told him sincerely meaning it with the full medic nin in me. I didn't want to talk as the girl in love to him. He just nodded trapped in his inner pain and I nodded in response waiting Kakashi-Sensei and Naruto to come over and restart our way back to the village immediately._

* * *

_Sakura POV_

I turned serious and lost still in thought but disguising it with professionalism at my former sensei. How long I had been distant in my fresh and aching memory?

"You can take him home, I'll tell Shizune about it."

Kakashi-Sensei just looked sadly at me knowing I hadn't had the courage to say it directly to Sasuke-Kun. I kept myself busy with the sorting of papers and by the corner of my eyes I saw Kakashi-Sensei approaching the bed and helping him to stand up and walk. I sensed that my beloved dark haired boy had lingered longer standing behind me but I couldn't know why. My heart pounded hard in my chest and the beats were ringing roughly in my ears and my breath was taken away. I wanted so bad to turn around and face him but I controlled myself. I heard them later going to the door slowly and carefully and before hearing them going out I couldn't help to speak my heart out.

"Don't walk too much. You need to rest to heal completely. Take care, please…"

And after long seconds of deadly silence I heard them going out and closing the door leaving me with unshed tears of concern and a little smile of happiness knowing he was going to be fine and he would recover soon from this.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

Before I took Sasuke home we decided to pay Shino a visit. When the two of us arrived to his room Hinata, Kiba and Kurenai were there visiting him and talking and laughing lightly and relieved. Shino had been so badly injured and almost in the edge of dying that now seeing his old and main team there trying to cheer him up and accompanied him and telling him with that mere act that they cared deeply about him was touching and made me smile. Shino was in good shape and even when he was going to be hospitalized more days he was recovering fast and good thanks to Tsunade. His family had come earlier since yesterday and all his friends had done their visits too. Even Sasuke, who had been strangely thoughtful and distracted since we left Sakura, was contemplating the scene before him serene. That moment in the room with Sakura had burned its path in my mind and heart just like that moment I had witnessed between the two and a trapped leaf in the pink hair of the young medic nin.

"Kakashi, hi, what brings you here?"

"Only came to visit your former student before going home."

I smiled at Kurenai who was formal as always but with eyes shining with happiness at seeing Shino conscious and alright. I gestured at Sasuke when I spoke my words and she nodded with a sincere smile and concern at my quiet and distant company.

"Going home, right Sasuke? I'm so glad that you're ok. I was so worried that I almost lost two of my partners this time. How's your leg?"

She lowered her crimson gaze to his left leg preoccupied just a second before meeting Sasuke's dark eyes and his gesture of shrugging her question. She just smirked at his indifferent face knowing pretty well him. Always resting significance to important matters. But I saw respect and gratefulness in his stare directed at my friend and she saw it too and half smiled calmly and thankful.

"It was a pleasure working with you. I hope it could be repeated some time."

He just nodded at her kind suggestion and I helped him to approach the bed where Shino was lying staring (yes with his glasses put on) at us serenely. Sasuke was capable of walking almost on his own but he still needed help to let his leg to recover properly and sooner. He wobbled when he tried to walk by himself.

"Oh man, you all made me damn worried!"

Kiba said half jokingly and half serious. He laughed trying to release the tension he had been feeling since our return and when he had heard what had happened. Hinata was just smiling sweetly and tranquil.

"Come on Kiba, get a grip on yourself and don't start crying over me again like if I was dead already."

Shino spoke with a little smirk on his face teasing his friend and making Kurenai and Hinata to laugh entertained with the joke. Kiba grow several layers of red of embarrassment in a couple of seconds and his brow was furrowed with annoyance.

"Hey! That's how you respond when your friend is dead worried for you?!"

It was my turn to smile widely at Kiba who was somehow angry and taking offense. He didn't want to be pointed out when in fact it had been completely natural to anyone of us to react that way when one of our friends were badly hurt in a mission. I knew Shino was only mocking him and somehow Kiba knew it too. It had been so terrible the image of Shino lying in a pool of blood almost torn in pieces when we had barely reached the hospital. Kiba just wanted to keep his "coolness".

"And besides I wasn't that one. Hinata was. I just shed a few tears of courtesy for your sorry state."

Kiba said still taking offense joking. It was the turn of Hinata to blush after being pointed out as the center of the conversation but she just smiled shyly at his bedridden friend.

"Aha. Yeah Kiba, whatever."

Kurenai just said half laughing accompanied by Shino and even the Hyuuga girl. After the laughs died and there was a comfortable silence in the white room Shino looked directly at Sasuke.

"I wanted to thank you Uchiha. You saved my life even putting yourself in danger. I'm sorry for forcing you to do that and be harmed when I had promised Naruto to take care of you."

The last words provoked a funny reaction in Sasuke. He was caught off guard and a very slight red of annoyance was shown in his pale face with his confused dark eyes. I chuckled like Kurenai seeing that gesture so genuine and honest and feeling glad to see him acting more active than usual. Kiba just was somehow confused and Hinata smiled kindly at Sasuke. Quickly Sasuke recovered his posture and narrowed his eyes calm and collected shocking his head at the Aburame shinobi. Shino seemed to understand his silent respond and nodded before asking.

"Thank you anyway. I'm glad knowing you're going home."

"Then we're going now. Take care and rest. See you later guys."

I smiled at the still sick young and he nodded grateful and then I helped Sasuke out of the room. We had heard from Hinata what Sasuke had done to help and save Shino during the battle and I wanted to believe he had done it not only as a part of the job. I wanted Sasuke to open up more than he had done it in his young life or at least like before. I knew he isolated himself and more now that he had returned and had stayed finally in the village. I was happy to know that at least he tried to go out with Naruto when the last one invited him dinner. But that was not the only thing I wanted for Sasuke and Naruto agreed with me and the both of us knew we needed to take things slowly regarding Sasuke. I didn't want him to feel the rest of his life as the pointed out in Konoha, as the traitor and once enemy, as the freak born from a freak clan as some people considered even knowing all the truth.

When we were outside the hospital someone called my name and I stopped our tracks and turned around.

"Kakashi-Sensei!"

It was Shizune. She was breathing hard due to her effort to reach me in time. I smiled calmly at her while she recovered herself.

"What is it?"

"Tsunade-Sama wants to see you before you go."

She said finally breathing normally.

"Hmm… alright." I turned at Sasuke. "Please wait for me here Sasuke. It's pointless to bring you with me when you shouldn't walk." I took him to a bench and left him sat down there under a tall tree that had a pretty good shadow from the sun. He just obeyed me distant and cold as usual. "I'll be back in a moment. Wait here and please don't try to walk by yourself even when you can do it."

He nodded annoyed by my lecture and gestured me to go impatient. I smiled scratching my head until Shizune hurried me up and I followed her quickly casting a last and reassuring glance at the Uchiha who was staring in front of him at the empty space.

* * *

The man saw the silver haired sensei entering the hospital behind the Hokage's assistant. Just minutes before he had seen sad, angered and frustrated his daughter going out from the building lost in thought and with a face full of sorrow and ache. Her green eyes weren't the bright color they usually were. Seeing her so pained and hurt walking without even noticing him had left him in a state of fury and deeply concern.

Even not agreeing in how she was living her life and how she was handling it that didn't meant he didn't love her with all his might and being. She was his only and dearest daughter even if she had failed him and he had cut his familiar ties with her and his own granddaughter.

He couldn't forbid his wife to stop seeing her or the little girl or helping them out or caring and loving them. That was what he couldn't bring himself to do and he didn't have any right to force his wife to act like he felt and wanted. But at least he could try to force destiny and he could try to keep away the cursed dark haired and eyed boy that had torn his smart and pretty daughter's life in such a terrible way destroying her bright future.

And then he had seen him going out from the building too accompanied by Kakashi and he observed them in silence and rage and frustration behind other big and tall tree. And now the Uchiha was alone sitting on a bench in front of him. He couldn't let go that chance to protect and defend Sakura even if she didn't know it and even if she was mad at him for the restriction order he had put against the Uchiha regarding Miyu. His wife was mad at him too for it and had lectured him saying that it wasn't his decision to make. But still the two women of her life hadn't convinced him enough to remove it. He was after all Sakura's principal and legal tutor. He had done it for their sake.

He missed his family. He missed his cheerful and hopeful daughter who had all the time and opportunity in her future. He couldn't stand to see the sadness in his wife's eyes every time she looked at Sakura's room empty. He hated how the life of Sakura had changed all of them and how she suffered behind her smiles that couldn't exactly disguised the hurt she felt and all because of that damn boy.

That was why he left his spot and approached the Uchiha with firm pace and deadly serious look. The young man didn't see him coming over because he was just lost and distant with serene facade looking at the street until the shadow of the big and tall man falling over him made him to turn around and face him straight. He narrowed his eyes with coldness and calm and something else in that face of him. The man didn't say anything in some minutes and just glared narrowing his own despising eyes and his furrowed brow. Sasuke now was just looking at him indifferent and intensely but without any kind of glare.

"Why you don't go? Why are you in Konoha? Last time I remember you wanted it destroyed."

He said freaky serene and controlled and sat down beside Sasuke staring ahead. Sasuke just saw him by the corner of his obsidian look fixing his tired eyes in the tree across him.

"Why are you here? You don't have any right reason to want to stay in the village. You must know you'll never be welcomed as before. Why do you want to torture yourself with it?" He paused with restrained and deep voice. The young dark haired man was staring distant at the empty space. "You didn't return to make things right not even with my daughter. At least if you had married her… but no. And thinking it again maybe it's better if you keep away from Sakura. You only hurt her and make her suffer intensely. You only make her cry and feel unworthy, stupid, sad and wrongly hopeful. You don't have interest in Miyu either. You aren't groveling about it. So let me ask you again, why the hell are you in Konoha?"

Now his voice had slightly risen and took an angry tone.

"Just go away. Let Sakura to have a life on her own and meet a good man who can provide her what you would never can. Let her in peace and stop tormenting her with your presence here. Have some nerve. Nobody wants you here. Nobody cares about you really. Do you think that sensei of yours and your _friends_ and the Hokage and her assistant and other sensei really feel something meaningful for you? Come on. You're bright, aren't you? They all had their own life since you decided to leave Konoha years ago. Who would want to care about some strangely sick traitor and enemy? Do you really think that the people of Konoha could trust again in the one who betrayed them and preferred power and revenge over? Do you really think you are worthy to Konoha? You're not even as good as your first years as a genin. You're only causing problems like a damn constant danger and to tell you the truth, you're a hopeless shinobi who cannot be counted for all you are now. You're sick and despised. Have a little decency and retrieve to the place where you came from."

The man got up without glancing back at the Uchiha who was like a statue just looking straight lost in thought and freezing serenity.

"I hope to not see you around anymore."

Then he just walked feeling proud and secure. He had done right to protect and help his daughter and his village. He was pretty sure about that. And no one could ever convince him otherwise.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

I noticed immediately that something strange had happened to Sasuke when I returned from my meeting with Tsunade. I noticed just looking attentive at him sitting on that bench with a lost gaze far away from the real world. There was so clear exhaustion and melancholy and thoughtfulness in it. I came over him and put myself in front of his lost look blocking the light and letting my shadow to cover him and claim his attention while I smiled.

But he didn't react at it.

I got concerned and wondered why he was suddenly so immerse in his isolate and inner world. He hadn't been like this since days ago.

"Hey Sasuke, it's time to go home. You need to rest."

My voice did finally the trick and he lifted up his dark eyes to me just for seconds nodding slightly and then he lowered his distant look locking it with the ground. I had been with him for a long time now and I, like Naruto, had come to understand him in the way he was now especially being silent and distant. I know that he wasn't really affected by his constant and undying hallucinations. I had come to distinguish when the situation was related to them and now it wasn't, I was very sure about it. But I knew him so well that I had to let go this now and don't try to force him to share what had him like this.

Calmly I helped him to stand up and I took him home in our common and comfortable quietness. Sasuke was never a talkative person anyway so I was used to not hear him a lot talking and chatting and least if it was personal information related. But now I didn't hear him at all and I had come to get used to be with him in utter and mysterious silence. I wondered if the moment shared with Sakura in the hospital was the matter that had put him like this. I wanted it to be.

So knowing him when we arrived home I left him alone in his own room laying in bed and resting his still injured leg. I suggested him to try to sleep. I know he had to sleep every time he took his hallucination's pills (he had to take two of them every day and they made him sleep two hours) but I was worried for the stress the last mission had put his body through. I was glad he hadn't had migraines since weeks ago and he only had to take two pills once a week as prevention and two when he had the migraine. I had to be watchful and observant in keeping him under his treatments to help him do his trainings and later the missions the best he could. Some days he woke up or went to sleep with fever but with simple rest and common medicine he got over it gradually like a normal person would do. His movements and pace were still slower compared to his former vitality and other person's but he still could manage with it. We had seen him showing even barely emotions and pain in some circumstances. His look wasn't as lost as before now that he was an active shinobi again and I had tried to teach him tricks to improve his lack of orientation in the village and when he was out due to a mission with his team. He still couldn't and didn't want to write and his reading was just like before, pretty slow and concerning. But I had been more worried about his last symptom that endangered his life any minute without me expecting it to strike him. His seizures. Every once a week Tsunade did her checkup on him and give him the shot she had told us to keep him away from that dark possibility. I got scared and preoccupied from time to time when I caught him sometimes focusing and unfocusing his look unconsciously or when he was completely absent for just seconds like in the first case and he didn't see or hear anything. Tsunade had explained to Naruto and me that they were like little seizures and that they weren't bad enough to be terrified or worried about Sasuke's health. They were common in his sickness and were inevitable.

Watching him lying in bed and after tucking him very amused for his annoyance showed clearly in his onyx eyes and pretty light red of embarrassment I just chuckled and retrieved to a corner of his room to wait till he could fall sleep. He, knowing that I would not go till he fall sleep indeed preferred to ignore me and turned his back on me lying in bed and facing the wall. He had to be very tired and drained from the tension originated from the mission and Shino's near death because he was slept almost immediately and without any kind of meds.

Sasuke didn't like to sleep. That's something I still found interesting and concerning. I still could remember him that night when he had returned to Konoha and Sakura's father had hit him for the first time and I was watching over him while he was hospitalized. Sasuke had needed to take meds to sleep. Some nights I had difficulty to put him to sleep and Naruto had been very worried because he never noticed this when his friend lived with him. I know that eventually tiredness won over Sasuke and he ended slept finally. But that wasn't normal and good to him. Only hard training and doing missions left him exhausted enough to make him sleep just like now.

I sighed thoughtful, sad and glad because the incident in the mission didn't take someone's life. I closed the curtains to leave the room in almost complete darkness and went to the door casting a last glance contemplating him sleeping peacefully. I couldn't help to remember the scene between Sakura and him in the forest. I couldn't help to remember the scene between Sakura and him in the hospital's room. I felt deeply sadness and concern and I wanted to believe that they had meant something for my former and still unreachable student.

* * *

_Neji POV_

We understood the real meaning and power of the seal imposed by Hiashi-Sama until now. In fact we didn't give it a lot of importance because even limiting Sasuke (more than his own illness was doing it anyway) it didn't show a strong hold for him and we were glad for that. During training and missions he was totally capable of using his abilities and power in the way he could right now due to his present state. So the beautifully designed crimson seal was more a tattoo or accessory painted in his forehead than something that had a great effect on any of us.

Of course, that was until now.

I had always dreaded to really testify the power embedded in the seal because I know my own clan and the capacity and wisdom of my own flesh and blood. I knew Hiashi-Sama had done it not only just because it was pretty to the view or something like that. He had been ordered by the Council with some specifications that we didn't know yet. So I knew we had to expect something great from that ceremony over Sasuke and the real goal behind designing and putting the seal in him.

We had agreed in having a picnic outside the boundaries of Konoha in the forest. In fact it had been Ino's idea who wanted us to know the whereabouts and matters of every one of us. There were days and weeks when we couldn't see the others because we were out doing missions or special trainings and when all of us casually were in the village we had tried to stay in contact and reunite to chat and share. We had been trying to do it since more a year ago. I wasn't particularly a party or reunion person but I was content to know about my friends and Tenten seemed to have really fun and entertainment when we came to one and she always laughed and seemed happy.

I like seeing her laughing.

This noon we agreed to reunite at the limits of the village and brought whatever Ino had ordered us to bring to the picnic. Tenten handled mine. The only one who couldn't come was Sakura and the weird thing was that she indeed wanted to come but she had a commitment with Tsunade-Sama that she couldn't break. We were quite surprised to know that she didn't mind that Sasuke was coming too. It seemed that since the last mission of him, Shino and Hinata she had accepted finally that she couldn't hide from or avoid Sasuke forever.

So I was the first one in arrive on time at the selected spot. Then Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji came, later it was the turn of Lee and Tenten, the still recovering Shino with Kiba and Hinata and finally at the end and late like I expect from Naruto, he came with Sasuke. The trivial and common chat was there and then laughs, smirks, teasing and mocking too. We had food, we had drinks, we were ready to enjoy our picnic and day of rest and calm and as a compact groups we started to walk going to the forest and leaving behind Konoha's limits. Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji were leading the way followed by Lee, Tenten and Kiba. I was talking with Naruto and Hinata (he was talking to us in fact very cheerful and noisy as always while she just admired him like some sort of god) and Sasuke was closely behind us with Shino at his side. It didn't surprise me at all to see them comfortable with the other. In fact I think the only one missing there was me. From all of our friends I always find more similarity in personality with Sasuke and Shino. We didn't talk a lot and we were observant too.

When the first little groups had passed the limits of our village and we crossed them leaving only the two quiet shinobi to pass them something happened that made my dread about that crimson seal in the Uchiha to be reawaken suddenly with such urgency that blew my mind in worried and final understanding.

* * *

_Shino POV_

I was walking beside Sasuke when it happened.

When our pair of feet crossed the last limit of Konoha I noticed something weird rising from his being. He had suddenly stopped his tracks brusquely and I glanced back at him when I didn't see him coming with me after our other friends.

And I saw confused and shocked that Sasuke was somehow paralyzed and he was clutching his head and exactly covering his forehead where the red seal was imprinted with force and screwing his eyes shut intensely like feeling a very deep pain. He bended over a little and I approached him immediately worried for him. Even when his pale face couldn't show properly the physical suffering he was going through his tightly closed eyes and clenched jaw were enough to imagine it. I grabbed him by his shoulders before I spoke to him feeling utter shock and concern. I didn't understand what was happening.

"Sasuke! Are you alright?!"

He had been stiff and tense like being trapped by some force invisible to the eyes but he nodded at me still slightly bended and clutching his head intensely with his hands. I tried to help him to walk and somehow I forgot about the others and I managed to help him to take few steps slowly and painfully in the direction of the forest. I could see my other friends a little away. The two of us had been the last ones because we still couldn't walk properly and we weren't healed yet completely. I wanted to call their attention seeing Sasuke like that but he after seeing my attempt shocked his head in denial.

He didn't want to worry them and least in this peaceful and cheerful moment. I don't know if he didn't want them prying over him and worrying endlessly or if he didn't want to bother them with his problems.

I knew he was doing a great effort to walk and when I tried to help him to walk more I knew we weren't succeeding as I had hoped for. Sasuke was stopped again by the invisible force that paralyzed him and tensed his body and hurt his head and I saw him gasping for air and shaking violently trying with all his might to move forward. That was when I got pretty worried and shocked seeing him battling whatever he was trying to vanquish and I turned quickly to the others and called them in high screams to come over. I was so damn scared without knowing what was happening to our friend. I heard them returning and running to us and I looked back putting all my attention to Sasuke who was still in the same position as seconds before.

And then it was when it happened. The invisible force that was gripping him in its mysterious claws won over him and Sasuke was pulled out without any will or strength left to the village we had left behind with so intensity and violence that he literally flew the way back before the main gates and the entrance of Konoha and landed hard and brusquely on the ground just a meter before the first limit of our village like a marionette who had been cut out of its strings.

* * *

_Neji POV_

Seeing Sasuke flying in that way like if he had been kicked pretty hard by some strong shinobi scared the hell out of us and shocked us immensely. In a thing of minutes we watched the spectacle with wide and terrified eyes and open and confused mouths. When he finally landed badly on the ground and didn't move at all the shock and the confusion were gone and we hurried to him running the fastest we could until we reached him and encircling him pretty damn worried and freaked out. I was pondering rapidly and deeply what had happened and I had a slight idea of it. But it wasn't till Ino told us serious and concerned to give her and him space and she started to check him up that I finally knew exactly what had happened with Sasuke.

"Don't come so near! I know you're worried but give him space to breathe!" The blond medic nin ordered sincerely to us and we obeyed her trapped in silence and shock. Naruto was so horrified staring at his best friend lying unconscious. Ino checked his vitals and removed his hands and black jet hair from his face and she gasped when she saw what all of us saw with her in that moment. "What the hell?!"

I knew it. I narrowed my eyes while the others opened theirs wide and shocked still studying the crimson seal in his forehead shinning brightly and constantly in all its magnificence. Just seeing it for the very first time acting its way let me understand and guess some things. I knelt beside Ino who had forced herself to continue her medic job and I looked closer at the tattooed seal which was losing its glowing little by little.

"It was the seal. Somehow it's made to prevent him to abandon the village without having a mission or training assigned. It has to be one of the specifications made by the Council to Hiashi-Sama. It's a way to know where he is probably and certainly to stop him to left Konoha again for his own decision. Very smart and effective. Very effective."

I said despising my last words. The way the damn thing had stopped Sasuke had been cruel to me and to all of us I was pretty sure. It hadn't to control and hurt him severely like this. Ino was checking up if he had some sort of fever and I closed disgusted my eyes before saying the next I had discovered.

"It was made with his own blood to function better. That was why it is red instead of the common black."

I heard some gasps from some of my friends.

"He has a slight fever but his vitals are fine."

Ino said with a voice shaken with emotion and touching tone.

"How long he will be out?"

Naruto asked with sad and preoccupied voice kneeling beside Ino just like I had done before. Our blue eyed medic nin was going to answer when Sasuke suddenly flickered open his eyes and looked straight lost and with blurry and dark glance. He closed his obsidian eyes tightly like if he was still feeling a sharp and unbearable pain some times and others he opened them and focused in the empty space in front of him. He could barely move for being hurt for the unexpected and violent fall and he had some scratches in his body.

"Hey Sasuke, are you alright?"

Naruto was the first one in react with a little smile and deep concerned eyes and Sasuke turned slowly his blurry look to him. The seal wasn't glowing anymore.

"We need to take you to the hospital."

Ino explained him preoccupied but Sasuke shocked his head with still shaking force and tried to sit but failed. He screwed shut his eyes once more and clenched his jaw still gripped by the pain he seemed to still be feeling. We were touched about how hard he had tried to do it. Naruto deeply preoccupied stopped him when Sasuke tried again.

"Don't overwork yourself! Wait a little, ok? And by the way, Ino is right, we need to take you to the hospital!"

Sasuke denied it again this time still in the ground and with his distant look. He didn't want to go to the hospital. It was kind of sad and ironic he had left it just some days ago for the injury on his left leg. Naruto didn't say anything and just stared worried and moved putting a hand in Sasuke's left shoulder. Ino sighed concerned.

"The better will be to take you to the hospital to do some tests and know what was affected by the seal's functioning. That's the best idea. But for I can check you just have a fever that will run out with rest and time. The other is just caused by the fall."

"Then, can I take him home?"

Naruto asked hopefully and the blond medic nin just nodded seeing sympathetic at him with touched clear eyes.

"I'll check him up again just to be sure."

She made some sort of test using her chakra while we were waiting Sasuke to recover a little from the fall. He was breathing almost normally and his eyes were somehow crystal and tired from the fever and his cheeks were slightly red but he seemed a little better. After Ino finished her job Naruto and Kiba helped Sasuke to first sit and then got up and he couldn't help to support his weakened self on them while they were holding him by his arms. He was very affected by the Hyuuga Seal.

The weird thing was that he wasn't looking at any of us and was staring dizzy and distant at some invisible point with his dark glance lowered at the ground. Sasuke wasn't never someone who felt less or minored in other's presence or situation. I found that quite interesting to observe. I wondered why he wasn't looking at us and I put myself in his place and I understood it immediately but I didn't say anything.

Before forcing Sasuke to walk we let him sit down for a moment and Ino gave him water. She was the only one near him watching him attentive and dedicated. We all were watching over them a little away worried and still shocked by the experience.

"I don't know you guys, but I think it would be better if we take him to Tsunade-Sama or Shizune."

Chouji said worriedly and almost all of us agreed with him. Naruto was thoughtful and saddened.

"He doesn't want to go. Why?"

Tenten asked concerned and I glanced at her.

"Probably he grew tired of being in hospital so many times. And probably more in the future unfortunately."

Naruto looked at me but without anger or shock. And I knew he had accepted that reality and I found myself wondering how bad was Sasuke's condition in fact. Naruto's silence and seriousness worried me and told me about it without spoken words or truths.

"And besides" I continue looking back at Sasuke sitting with Ino checking his temperature. "I think he feels bad for ruining this to us."

"Yeah, I think so too. He didn't want me to tell you anything before but the seal won over his will."

Shino added sincerely. Naruto had heard us smiling sadly while Hinata held him by his hand.

"That's silly! It wasn't Sasuke's fault!"

"Yes but you know him. That's what I would be feeling about."

I said and Tenten looked half smiling at me and making me to stare paralyzed by her deep brown eyes. Naruto got me out of my reverie and secret embarrassment thanks to heaven.

"You're right Kiba. It wasn't Sasuke's fault. He indeed wanted us to have fun today and I was happy because he had accepted to come over. And this happens. How ironic, right?"

Naruto smiled sarcastically sad. Lee sighed serious.

"Well, we don't have to make him feel bad. We can still have fun and share our precious time of our blossom of youth! Just the place will be changed anyway."

"Lee's right. We take him home and let him rest and later if he feels better we can go to his room and stay some time. While he's resting and sleeping we could go to Naruto-Kun's place."

Hinata said confident and honestly and all of us thought about it and nodded agreeing it. In that way Sasuke wouldn't feel like he had ruined the day and we could spend time with him too. We approached the Uchiha and the blond medic nin and Naruto smiling still sad and worried explained them our plan. Sasuke immediately lighted up his expression a little knowing he hadn't ruined anything and I was glad I had been right since the beginning about it. I watched the red seal imprinted powerfully in his forehead and I narrowed at it disgusted.

We wouldn't let the Council to take away our day through that seal.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

I had expected to happen something like this after being in the sealing ceremony and hearing of the specifications made by the Council. They had said that the seal will prevent Sasuke to leave Konoha against all odds.

They had been right.

Naruto and the others had agreed in leaving me taking care of him till he could feel better to have them visiting him again. When I had seen them coming with Sasuke in that state I became worried instantly and I calmed myself after hearing Ino and Neji's explanations. I agreed with them in the reasons that my former student had to not be hospitalized this time and I took the decision to stay and take care of him till his fever and side effects of the seal had run out of his body. They left sincerely worried and sad for not enjoying the plan they had since days ago for this specific day but I reassured them with a smile and telling them I would call them when Sasuke was feeling better. I didn't want him to lose this day either. Either way I called Tsunade and Shizune and told them about what had happened and the two came half a hour later and checked a sleeping Sasuke and gave him something special to free him from his persistent but not very high fever. Ino had healed the scratches originated from the hard fall but he probably would feel sore for a couple of days. He was somehow shivering under the covers but seemed fine besides that. We discussed about what Ino and Neji had told me and the other too and we got pretty serious and angry at the method the Council had wanted to control him through the seal. Hiashi-Sama had done only what they had ordered him to do so it wasn't his fault that the seal was functioning very well indeed.

Sasuke eventually get better as the day went by and by the afternoon he was fine enough to be visited by Naruto and his other friends like they had said at noon. Tsunade had forbidden him to leave the bed till tomorrow unnecessarily and he stayed there the couple of hours they spent in his room accompanied him. I was invited to stay and I accepted and even when I was attentive at the incessant chats and laughs, jokes and smiles I was watching the Uchiha carefully enough to not be noticed by him. He seemed to be enjoying the noise and the crowd in his unexplained silence with calm and collected stance. I think he was somehow trying to figure out what was happening in his room with all that people there.

I caught him sometimes looking longingly and sadly at all of them.

Then the fragile and eternal coldness was back in his pale face and his black eyes and I was left wondering if what I had witnessed was true indeed.

He ate whatever they offered to him (like in my case of course) and didn't seem annoyed ever and that was a big change in him. I found myself feeling glad and happy at seeing him trying to socialize and share and I enjoyed like the young ones that incredible moment without regrets.

It surprised me how they had tried to support him and believe in him again after Miyu's kidnapping. It didn't surprise me anymore coming from Naruto, after all, he was his best friend. And it was surprising too to know that even Sakura had let the circumstances to run whatever the path they wanted and that she wasn't trying to hide, avoid or run anymore. She still wasn't in complete peace with Sasuke but at least she was strong enough to confront him and be near him again. What had happened with Shino had made all of them to trust and give another chance to Sasuke and I was glad and hoping to stay that way. I prayed for not having another thing that could destroy again the new found trust and confidence, friendship and calm we had basked in that afternoon.

But perhaps I was unfortunately and sadly wrong.

* * *

Nobody knew why Sasuke Uchiha had left again Konoha days later. But that wasn't exactly the matter that had angered and freaked out the Council, or the fact that had confused and concerned the people who thought in the dark haired boy as someone important to their life.

The thing that was enraging the Council against the Head of the Hyuuga Clan was the failed attempt of the seal to control and stop Sasuke Uchiha in his last runaway from the village.

The specification had worked perfectly that afternoon stopping him in leaving his homeland for a simple picnic in the forest. The seal had worked perfectly in him without any sort of doubt. But right now it wasn't like that and the shinobi was missing again and nobody had a clue how he had freed himself enough from the seal's grasp to be able to leave Konoha, why he had run away and where he had gone. This morning Kakashi had entered in his room and he didn't find him. At first he didn't panic but as the hours passed by and there wasn't any sign of Sasuke and nobody had seen him the panic really was fueled and they were searching through all Konoha and near areas seeking him.

But still there wasn't any sign of the sick Uchiha.

Doing the investigation Kakashi and Anko had discovered that Sasuke had gone at the middle of the night and he had, this time, took the equipment necessary to survive and that represented a need in the shinobi's life. He had taken with him his pills and Miyu's picture and he was armed. He didn't go just by himself like the other times. This time was different and the sensei and the anbu wondered hard and worried what could this meant.

They discovered too that he had done something to affect the seal in his forehead and somehow it seemed similar to the failed attempt he had done in his arms months ago. There was signs of it in his room and they had found Sasuke's blood (not a lot) in the floor and a almost erased circle painted in it with the red liquid.

"I'm impressed for his knowledge in the matters of seals. Well I don't have to wonder a lot, knowing from his past experiences."

Hiashi said entering the room and staring serious and preoccupied at the circle.

"How did it go with the Council, Hiashi-Sama?"

"Well they wanted to cut off my head." The man said angrily but calm answering the anbu's question. "But I just said the plain truth. I told them since the beginning that a seal like that would not function as they wanted, not in Uchiha's case. But did they listen to me? no. I honestly think it did it worse."

"By the amount of blood spread here I think Sasuke wasn't gravelly wounded."

Kakashi said thoughtful and worried. He could almost remember how some days ago this room had been full of people and laugh. It was somehow painful to compare it with the view of now, the room empty and with the crimson substance there.

"You're right Kakashi. I think he knew exactly how much blood he could use to feel strong enough to go away. He just used it as ink to try to affect or reverse my seal. After all I used his own blood too."

"What do you think he did to be able to leave the village?"

"Surely he couldn't destroy the seal. I created it so I know better. But probably he just affected its functioning enough to leave Konoha without feeling the side effects he felt the other time weakening and defeating him. I really don't think he could get rid of them completely and he was barely able to leave Konoha in whatever state he could after crossing the borders of the village."

Anko sighed concerned hearing the words with fear. Kakashi felt the same imaging Sasuke and his current state at the time. Hiashi paused before saying what the three of them had in mind.

"Why did he leave in such conditions? He knew what could happen to him if he left Konoha. What was so important to him that he didn't mind in what state he would end if he dared the seal?"

No one of the three could answer that. No one knew the answer. They were in silence staring absently at the crimson circle in the floor till the door opened and Shizune peeped inside serious and worried. The three spun around to face the dark eyed young assistant.

"Tsunade-Sama wants to see you in her office Kakashi-Sensei, Anko-San."

The two mentioned nodded and said goodbye to the Head of the Hyuuga Clan before going after Shizune. He just nodded in response and turned his serious and meditative stare at the blood imprinted in the circle and almost fading away. He could just sigh concerned by the unknown sake of the boy he had sealed that day without his own approbation while the room was becoming darker minute by minute.

* * *

"Are you really sure Hokage-Sama?"

The blond and honey eyed woman nodded affirmative and serious at the anbu. Kakashi was just as confused, interested and worried as his friend and Shizune in fact.

"Yeah. We discovered it just minutes ago. It seems Sasuke before leaving the village came to my office and searched something through the files of missions. The unlucky fact is that we still don't have a clue what he was looking through."

"Why Sasuke-Kun did that?"

"Well in his room are signs that he went away quite prepared like if he was going sent on a mission. And now with this I think that has more sense."

"I see. He left armed and equipped. I wonder what he wanted to know from the files."

Tsunade was frowning at the files displayed in all the surface of her big desk very concerned and serious. She looked up at Kakashi again with some softness in her usual intimidating eyes and Kakashi guessed why was the change in them.

"In fact I'm not so worried about this thing of the files. Of course I'm intrigued at it and it was a plain intrusion from his part and it's important but I'm more worried for him. He cannot go out there by himself. He's not prepared."

Kakashi nodded seriously too. She was right. Sasuke was pretty sick to be left alone and now the preoccupation for his health was bigger due to his last symptom showed in the last mission. His seizures. Realizing that made the sensei to comprehend the stare in the Hokage's eyes and why she was so tense and dreadful about Sasuke's whereabouts. Shizune lowered her gaze deeply worried too and Anko didn't say anything but guessed it by the hard atmosphere that had surrounded all of them.

"If Sasuke falls sick again like that there won't be anyone who can help him. It's a possibility that could happen again to him. The bad thing about his illness is that it's unpredictable. One day he could be fine and the other not. That's why I consider it dangerously serious. There's a big risk there."

"I know. That's why I need to find him immediately."

"We have another missions to attend to so I have to dispose of all of you including the young ninjas in a convenient way. I'll be dispatching small groups without forgetting our commitment to our clients till we find Uchiha. For now you can go on his search with Naruto, Neji and Shino. I already sent Kurenai with Shikamaru, Lee and Hinata. The others including Anko here had other issues to handle. Please do an exhaustive search in the places marked in the map that Shizune will give you and return if in a week you haven't found him. Then I'll send another two teams in his pursuit. I had made contact with the people in other villages without giving out important information of Uchiha. We need to find him the sooner we could before the Council take this as an opportunity to punish him more severely. I still can handle his situation but if the times goes by and he doesn't come back or is found I don't know what else I'll be able to do to help him."

"I know. Thank you Hokage-Sama."

Kakashi nodded with a reverence and Tsunade closed her eyes when he left with Anko and Shizune and she was all by herself again in the big office. She couldn't stop thinking in the reason Sasuke had to search in the files of missions and information of tasks. What he wanted so desperately to know?

She just sighed tired and thoughtful looking again the amount of papers dispersed in her desk.

_What were you looking for, Sasuke?_

* * *

The only thing that made everyone to distract from Sasuke's disappearance was another unusual and mysterious success that had happened ironically to the other alive Uchiha in the world.

Miyu had reached 1 year and 6 months on that days when his father was missing and nobody had news about his whereabouts and it had been bittersweet due to that. Sakura was trying so hard to be strong and not feel utterly desperate about Sasuke's sake. She was dying from confusion, worry, shock, anger and sadness all in one. She was confused as the others about Sasuke's behavior and didn't understand why he had gone away again after he seemed in peace living in the village. It was long ago the last time he had done it. She was so damn worried for his health and state and was shocked by the fact of finding herself unsettled by his absence from Konoha. She didn't realize before that she had gotten used to his presence in the same town with her and their daughter and in fact she deeply felt better knowing he was near and safe even if it reminded her the cruel reality than not knowing anything about him for being away from her. The sadness was so immense and she couldn't stop imaging the worst scenario when his face came creeping to her mind even in her busy moments. She was so depressed knowing that she and Miyu would never meant anything important to him to make him stay and change his habits. She was sad because she didn't want him to go on in his life running away every time he felt it. Without a home. Without important things that can hold him back. And sure she was angered at his unknown reasons, at his mysterious way in doing things, at his unexplained behavior. Didn't he know how much he worried all of them? Didn't he know how much all of they cared for him? Why did he like to hurt them unnecessarily?

But the plain truth was that she had cried to sleep night after night since his disappearance still drowning in the fighting love she felt still for him. She had smiled ironic at herself regretting the kiss she never dared to give him and that maybe she would never have again the opportunity to give.

The job and attending her home and her little girl had been her only escapes at the tormenting thought directed in anguish and pain at the boy she loved so much. They kept her away enough to control herself and think calm and cold about the circumstances and avoiding the turmoil of feelings and emotions that assaulted her aching heart day after day. One night her desperation was so big that she had accepted saddened that she didn't care anymore if Sasuke one day could love her. She only wanted him beside her and helping her to rise Miyu and just that. That could be her sole happiness. Just being near him even with a unreturned love.

That day she had done her routine of keeping tranquil and don't concentrate in the Uchiha but something had happened related with the daughter the both of them had conceived so many months ago that put again his image in her worried mind and her love in her trembling heart with unexplained might and fire.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"Are you sure that happened Sakura?"

Tsunade-Sama asked me again serious and thoughtful. I nodded while Kakashi-Sensei was there after returning with his team like Kurenai-Sensei. This time Anko and Gai-Sensei were out of Konoha searching for my Sasuke-Kun. Gai-Sensei had taken Chouji, Kiba and Tenten with him and Ino was out with Anko and two other anbus. We were reunited in her office after the incident and with Naruto and our other friends. Shizune was there two standing right next to the Hokage and my mother was carrying Miyu silent in a corner of the big room. Mom was unusually quiet and distracted and was holding tighter and protective my little girl. Miyu was just looking at everyone and everything in the office with curiosity and calm, without speaking or doing noises like if she could comprehend somehow the atmosphere around her. She had a small kind smile clinging from her lips and was observant with a little and cute frown showed in her brow. That reminded me him. It had been so hard to try to explain to her being so little and bright at the same time why her dad hadn't come to see her. She kept asking for him sweetly and staring at me and at everyone with hope and question in her black and beautiful eyes breaking my heart again and again. She was such a nice little girl. She never cried if it wasn't necessary and she was smart and mature for her own age. I always felt like she was studying me while she was looking straight at me with her kindness and understanding. She could almost speak normally now and she could got up by herself and walk. She had crawled faster than other babies. She behave very well to be such a little thing yet. She even was calmer than any of us in some situations.

"Yes. I'm pretty sure about it. Naruto and Shikamaru were with me when it happened."

When it happened.

I remembered the day before when I had gone out from Konoha with my two friends and my daughter and we had been surprisingly ambushed by some low robbers. I had wanted to show Miyu another environment apart from the common village and I had taken her with us to a walk in the near forest. She had been delighted with it and I had smiled happily seeing her enjoying it deeply. The weird thing that had us here discussing with the Hokage herself was that before the men had ambushed and attacked us Miyu had started to feel uneasy and had said strange phrases with words like "who's there" and her dark eyes filled with tears and her little face was full of fear and concern. She didn't cry but it had been obvious she was scared of something and finally she had called Sasuke over and over. She even looked up at me saying "Mamma, dada?". Naruto and Shikamaru were shocked like me, we never saw her acting like that. And when the first ninja attacked it was directed at me and her and she had screamed scared turning to him since the bad man left his hideout. The man was so damn shocked to had been discovered that he got paralyzed and Naruto took care of him knocking him unconscious.

We couldn't know were the others were. They attacked us by surprise even to Shikamaru and he and Naruto were taken care of them while they didn't let me fight back. I was protecting my little girl who was now calm and observant tightly held to my arms. When another man that was hiding directed his attack to me and her again, knowing that my two friends were busy in their own fights, now it was me who strangely reacted first and I knew, I don't know how still, where that man was hiding and how he was going to attack us and I reacted fighting him and knocking him badly in a question of seconds. Naruto and Shikamaru just glanced smiling at me and I nodded proud still holding Miyu who was playing with the necklace that mother had given to her for her last birthday.

When that happened I recounted the scene and even when I found quite strange how Miyu and I had reacted first at the danger the men represented, I didn't give it a lot of thought or importance. Days passed and with Sasuke-Kun's disappearance I forgot it soon. But a couple of days something similar happened, this time the danger was some boxes that fell from a window under which Miyu was playing and giggling with Kurenai-Sensei's son, Asuma like his father, just some months older than her. The two kids were happy in their innocent world messing around with some toys when Miyu again reacted the same way and that attracted Kurenai-Sensei 's attention. She immediately seized the danger and took the both kids in her arms seconds before the boxes fell to the ground smashing its contents. I came worriedly with Ino hearing the scandal and my dreadful fear and desperation of knowing my little girl in danger minored at seeing her safe in Kurenai-Sensei's arms. My heart had stopped and my soul had paralyzed from the worry and fear I had felt in just some seconds of terrible uncertainty.

I swear I stopped breathing imaging the worst. I cannot lose my Miyu. She's my daughter and I love her so much and so deep that I cannot begin to explain it. I know I cannot protect her forever and that there are circumstances out of my hands that I would not be able to control. But still the pain, the desperation and the fear of seeing her hurt or worst haunts me horribly and made my complete being to ache in suffering. It's the same I feel when I think in him. My love for him and for the daughter he gave me are strong, immense and undying. That's the truth. It's just that they are different kind of love.

When I took Miyu in my arms from Kurenai-Sensei who was as scared shocked as me, I saw something weird shinning slightly and consistent in her chest. When I watched better I noticed that it was the necklace that was doing that and when Miyu was finally calm and watchful again the shining died slowly and left me wondering surprised, curious and shocked at it. I talked about it with Kurenai-Sensei and Ino and they advised me to go to the Hokage and explained it. And I had done it the next day.

And now I was again in front of her waiting for the results she had from her investigation. My mother had said that she really didn't have a clue about it but like I said before, she was acting pretty weird lately.

"Well in that case I think that all that weird thing that happened are related directed to the necklace she wores." Tsunade-Sama said firmly and narrowing her eyes at the figure of my mother carrying a smiling Miyu. Mom wasn't locking eyes with the blond Hokage. "That piece of jewelry has some sort of special jutsu that functions with Miyu only and for what you said, with you too in some level."

I was stunned and amazed at her words. All in the room were like me except Kakashi-Sensei and Shikamaru who just smirked like if he was just hearing something he knew already.

"But... how's that?"

Naruto asked immensely surprised standing beside me.

"Well it's like I said. That necklace has a jutsu that protects the user alerting when a danger is near and directed at the user. It doesn't matter if it is caused by a person or a situation as Sakura experienced by first hand. It warned Miyu in the two times she was near danger and it functioned in Sakura's too warning her. But for how it happened, I think it only did it in the first case because Sakura was carrying Miyu and she was near her. So I guess the jutsu is particularly created for Miyu but it can be extended to Sakura as her mother when the two are together."

I was pale after hearing it. I recalled the weird feeling I had that time when the second man tried to attacked me and my baby girl. That was what Miyu felt too first?

"The necklace has to have some connection to Miyu, either physically or spiritually. But I think it has the two."

"I agree, Shikamaru."

Tsunade-Sama just smirked proudly at her jounin while Kakashi had fixed his half stare in the corner were my mother and Miyu were. Hinata, Shino, Lee and Neji were silent studying all that was discussed with deep thought and shock.

"And the thing left here it can only be explained by the one who gave little Miyu that wonderful and powerful gift."

We all turn around to face mother who was distant and thoughtful with her eyes lowered and fixed in the necklace discussed. I approached her worried and confused still by all that had been said recently in the big room.

"Mom? Please, tell me what you know about it. You gave it to Miyu and asked me to put it on her always. Why? How?"

The plead in my voice and green gaze made the effect I desired. She lifted her head slowly and with something similar to dread and uncertainty in her pale face. She couldn't quite lock eyes with me. I put my hand in her shoulder as support and encouraging her to talk. I wasn't angry. That thing had protected and helped me and my daughter and I felt deeply grateful for that. I just wanted to know like everyone else in the room.

"The necklace isn't... isn't mine Sakura. It never belonged to our family."

She finally was capable of utter with soft and concerned voice but a look more secure and guilty.

"But you said it was a family heirloom!"

I said confused and somehow worried at how guilty she felt.

"I didn't lie in that part!... It _is_ a family heirloom..." She paused before continuing with her eyes going to everyone in the room and landing at the end in me. "But I wasn't specific at what _family_ it belonged."

Something inside of me snapped after hearing her but I didn't quite understand why. She was confronting my eyes sadly and pleading.

"Then it is a Uchiha heirloom, right?"

Shikamaru asked after the long and hard pause in silence and I opened wide my eyes in shock staring at my mother nodding. My mouth gaped without a sound. An Uchiha... heirloom?

"It was a gift from... him. Her dad. One afternoon when your father wasn't at home he came and found me arriving home. I think he was waiting for me to come. He didn't seem dangerous or something like that and he just extended the box with it inside. I was so shocked at it! You cannot imagine what I was feeling in that moment. Fearing that someone could see him there I let him enter the house and then I looked inside the box and I was amazed at the beautiful piece of jewelry. He was just standing there in front of me staring and pleading something I couldn't understand. First I thought it was for your father or me but he denied it to me with a shock from his head. Then I asked him if it was for you Sakura and he denied it again. Finally I got to the conclusion that it was for Miyu. First I found quite rare that he wanted to give it to her, you know, she was still small for a gift like this... I knew it was part of the heritage of the Uchiha because I had seen it being worn by Mitoko Uchiha, Sasuke's mother so many years ago. I asked him if he wanted us to make Miyu use it or if he wanted to sell it or something else. He let me know he wanted his daughter to use it." She paused giving all of us time to think deeply in what she was saying. I was still so stunned and surprised, so confused and shocked by the news. Mother looked at Miyu who was still playing with the necklace that hung from her little neck. "I asked him if he wanted me to say that he had given it to Miyu and he denied it. _"Not even to Sakura?"_ I asked him again confused. He denied me again. He took my hands almost scaring the hell out of me and looked straight at my eyes like if he was asking me to keep silent about it and I asked him that and I was right. That was why I didn't say anything to anyone and I gave it to you like if it was a gift from my part. I'm sorry Sakura. I know I should had told you about it but I promised him... and besides, I didn't want to cause you any more pain just by saying his name to you. I thought it was fair that he was doing this for Miyu. She's his daughter. Please, forgive me, I hope you're not mad at me."

Her guiltiness over keeping silence since that day was sincere in her eyes. She feared that I could take wrong what had happened but honestly I couldn't bring myself to be angry or resentful at her. I was fixed in the idea of Sasuke-Kun doing all that in secret. Why? Why he didn't want anyone to know about his care for his own daughter? Why he didn't want me to know about it? I didn't want to keep her away from him!.. Did he think I was trying to do that?...

"That was why it functions only in Miyu. It's from the Uchiha Clan and it has to have some physical proof with the bloodline. But the jutsu connected it to her spiritually too but I don't know if Sasuke himself did it, I doubt it." Kakashi-Sensei said as a matter of fact meditating it. "But Miyu has physical connection to you Sakura too so when you're near her you are affected by the necklace and the jutsu too and it protects you."

I suddenly felt dizzy from the turmoil of doubts and feeling rooming inside me. Naruto held me tightly in his arms worried for me and shocked beyond amaze like me. I just had eyes for my mother and my daughter in front of me. I watched the necklace with tears filling my confused eyes and now I understand why I had found it familiar the first time I had seen it. It had the form of an eye. It had the form of the sharingan.

"Sakura... there's another thing I had to confess to you."

Mom said slowly and worried wearing the same guiltiness in her face and I felt dread at what she was going now to say. I could only see Sasuke-Kun carrying Miyu on that day in the hospital with my eyes opened or closed. My heart expanded painfully. Mother gave my little girl to Kurenai-Sensei and opened her big bag and took out a big and yellow envelop that seemed heavy with papers.

"I knew that today I had to tell the truth about the necklace... and about this. Especially now that he's not longer in Konoha."

She extended serious and sad the envelop to me and I take it with shaking hands and confused face. Even when my blurry emerald gaze I could see the papers when I opened the envelop and took them out and just by reading the titles I knew what they meant. I stopped breathing and my heart skipped beats while I was reading the titles of the main pages with shocked expression and eyes widely opened in realization about the significance of all.

"He... legally put you and Miyu as the legitimate owners of the actual heritage and properties here in Konoha of the Uchina Clan... he gave you and Miyu the power to use them as you want. And... he legally pronounced himself as her father. He changed her last name for it..."

I gazed with blurrier eyes at the paper that had written in big, clear and black letters the legend of "Miyu Uchiha" instead of "Miyu Haruno". I couldn't help anymore the tears and I started to cried shocked and affected with a hand covering my trembling chin and lips. Naruto took the papers from me seeing me so consternated. I was immensely surprised by all this, by all the care he had showed doing all this for Miyu and even for me being the mother of his daughter. He had tried to protect the both in his secretive and silent and maybe incomprehensible way. I felt really and deeply moved for realizing now the truth. The sadness and hope were asphyxiating my crushed heart and the pain and frustration I felt for not having him here burned my soul with the flame of the love that lives within me in its rebel path.

"How did Sasuke did that if he can't communicate?"

Kakashi-Sensei asked finally touched too at my own state and the situation we had discovered. Mother was calmer looking worried and guiltily at me without daring to comfort me and seeming heartbroken for it.

"He wrote it in a letter... his wishes... he tried day after day until what he wrote was understandable and meant what he wanted... the first times were difficult and he only wrote misshaped and wrong... I saw a lot of papers inside his bag when he finally showed me the final letter. It was short but it said the important... he came to me again another afternoon and showed it to me and I knew what he wanted... and I knew he was asking me to help him to achieve it. So I did it... it was for Miyu, it was for you Sakura... I wanted to protect you too as much as he seemed to do."

By that right moment I was freely crying my heart out without caring what they were seeing in me or thinking about me. I cried and cried and mother couldn't hold herself anymore and wrapped me in a tight embrace that I answered sincerely grateful and moved. I had gotten the definitive answer at my former useless hope of wanting to know what he felt about Miyu. He really cared about her. He really loved her. I didn't' wait in vain, I didn't do wrong letting that little hope living inside of me. It wasn't pointless to wish for this some day. Miyu had his father, perhaps not as I wanted it or expected it but she did.

And then I remembered that he was gone again from the village and our life and my heart ached incessantly suffering from the harsh and undeniable truth. Miyu was calling me from Kurenai-Sensei's arms and I carried her when she smiling sadly gave her to me. Mother smiled serene now feeling relief that I wasn't angered at her for her silence and I smiled happy at Miyu who stared at me calm and curious.

"Dada? Dada?"

She asked with her soft and sweet voice and I nodded at her hugging her little body with all the love I could gather in my arms.

_I'll bring him to you sweetie. Even if I have to find him myself. Don't worry, he'll come back. I promise to you._

I promise to you. And to me too. To me too.

* * *


	18. Kissing

**A/N:**

I'm so sorry for the late update!! I had been very busy with job and we moved to a new office and a lot of stuff happened! But I was dying for updating and writing this story so bad!

My major apologies to all of you who are still out there liking, reading and following this story and thank you from the bottom of my heart for reviewing, putting it on alert or favorite story or author. Thanks to all of you for the waiting.

This chapter is some sort of intermediate I think knowing what will come now... I don't know :).

Now I'll go to the reviews from the past chapter :)

LauryUchiha: Yeah you were the one who reviewed first :), if you want to know when I'll update I think you put it in alert or something like that, hmm... sorry for not being able to help you, upps, I think you can do it in the same menu where you put that you want to review. Thank you for taking time to e-mail me, it's ok so don't worry :)! I'm glad that you liked the chapter! Yeah I absolutely adore Sasuke-Kun too!! You'll have your answer about why he left this time in this new chapter. I wonder why will happen to Sakura's father, hmm. I know, he, he. I want you to be aware that in doing all that Sasuke in fact didn't show how he felt about Sakura. You'll see in this chapter how she sees it. And about letting him die... well I don't know still how this is going to end, well I know but let's hope for the best :) (I am so evil, he, he). About the seal well it will probably be a failure just like Hiashi-Sama said since the beginning. I think you soon will have two of your petitions coming true. I'm looking forward to it :)! And yes, expect more turnings and I hope to maintain it interesting. Thanks for your best wishes and greetings to you too. Without thinking it you'll have what you were hoping in this chapter, ha, ha. Good luck with in your school :). Thanks a lot really really!!

sasusaku779: I'm glad I made you cry from relief this time and made your day! Ha, ha! I'm sorry for writing long chapters but I cannot hold me back!! So sorry, really, I hope you can understand :). Thank you for everything really!!

Delione: Hmm... does Sasuke truly love her? Hmm... you'll see how Sakura and he are taking this act he did to protect her and Miyu. Well you'll have your answer in this chapter, he, he, oh yeah, I'm so glad when I made you cry because that means that I'm doing my work well :)!! You'll have your answer in this chapter, believe me, I think this new chapter it not as sad as the last one but I don't know, upps, you can tell me :)! Thank you for saying it's a great story! Thanks a lot!!

lunaestrlla: Thank you for loving it!! :) :) :)!! I promise to update soon from now!! Thanks, thanks thanks!!

jay-alexis: I'm so happy that you like it so much! And that it's one of your favorites!! :) But I don't want you to have your hopes so high... (evil me, evil me) he, he, sorry for making you sob under the covers :)! I'm proud of having made your week!! Thanks a lot for your great words, thank you :)!!

minniemousemom: Thank you :) :) :)!! I hope you like this one too :)!!

liljapangrl03: Sorry for Miyu's slip... upps, you're right! It's just that I practically don't know about little kids, he, he, I corrected it by the way (I think). You'll have your answer in this chapter! And yes, she forgave him but... you'll have to read if you want to know :) how she really feels about all. Thank you so much and sorry for that slip :) Thanks a lot really!!

C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Yes, he loves Miyu, that's clear but about Sakura... I don't know if you should be assuming so soon that... (evil me, evil me) :)! Thank you for liking it and finding it sweet!! Thanks a lot! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

xx-tenshi-xx: I'm sorry for putting him changing her name!! I'm sorry really :)! You have said something very interesting there, hmm... Yeah, he's worth of your opinion. I'm sorry if everything is all about Miyu, but somehow Sakura thinks she's the only reason connecting her to Sasuke. Now that they are in peace about their daughter the real thing begins, I think. Sorry for upsetting you so much! And thank you for your words and opinion :)!! Thanks a lot really!!

missyserena214: Well you'll know why he left this time. He, he :) and about what he's thinking... well we'll see pieces out there from chapter to chapter :) :) :). Thanks really for your review!!

Massu Chan: Thank you for saying that this chapter is the best so far!! I didn't mean it to be sad and sweet in fact but I'm glad because it finished like that to all of you and that means I am doing well!! Sorry for making you cry (it seems it caused that) :)! What you say about Mr. Haruno is very right but right now he's not seeing it like that. Your hope will be accomplished in this chapter, don't worry :)! And I hope I could give you that scene you want of them in this chapter (kinda of)! :) Thank you for your review and for saying that about me :), thanks a lot really for everything!!

Now we'll go on in the chapter!!

**Chapter 18**

**Kissing**

_Sakura POV_

By the next day I had left Konoha behind me accompanied by Kakashi-Sensei, Naruto and Shikamaru. Early morning we had reunited with Tsunade-Sensei who gave us permission to take the assignment of finding Sasuke-Kun as soon as possible. She had met the Council yesterday after the conversation we had had with my mother and she was using all her power to delay a severe punishment over him taking his strange illness in his favor even if it wasn't completely true. She even dared to suggest that the sealing had been a worse answer to the problem and that its creating and imposing even against the wise opinion of Hiashi-Sama had been quite the contrary of what they had wanted and had lessened her own treatment designed for Sasuke-Kun. We didn't know exactly if she was saying the truth or just the half or just lying to help and support him. She ended with the upper hand by the moment and gained time to handle his situation but only if he appeared soon and was controlled in some way to prevent future situations like this one. If her decision didn't function well providing Konoha and his government security and peace they were ready to take the matter in their hands and put a definitive end to the situation called Sasuke Uchiha.

Even with that freedom Tsunade-Sama didn't feel confident and wasn't entirely at peace. She knew the manage of the Council and she took it as a warning of future problems for Sasuke-Kun. The only plain and undeniable truth was that the government of Konoha wasn't very happy and calm in the matters of the father of my child. It was totally otherwise. They were freaked out, angered, frustrated and desperate to not be able to contain him in a secure and controllable way.

After what my mother had told me about Sasuke-Kun's secret arrangements for Miyu and for me it didn't take long for me to decide to go myself in his search as a part of a team. Before I would had lectured me for deciding this and I would had disappointed me but now it was different. Before I was doing all in my might to avoid him and reject him and run away from him and little by little the circumstances had brought us together till this moment when I had received real proof of his care and love for our little girl. That was what I had always hoped, waited and wished for, that was what I wanted with all my aching heart and broken soul. Well, I'm lying about that. Because I had always hoped, waited and wished for him to love me, that was what I wanted with all my aching heart and broken soul too besides his care and love for Miyu. I wanted us three to be a happy and united family. I wanted him to love me and not maybe as I loved him since long time ago, but a little spark of sincere and pure love from his part could make me the happiest woman in the world.

But I know I am dreaming like always.

Now I know that Sasuke-Kun cared about and loved the little girl that had grew inside of me and that was my joy and pride. I know he really acknowledged her and worried for her sake and wanted to protect her and give her all he could give. That was the reality I had discovered thanks to mom and that was for what I had prayed since I had known of Miyu being little inside of my belly. I was certain and sure and he had given me real proof of all of that. My little child had her father and he had recognized her given her his last name. I couldn't stop to smile happy and rejoiced in joy when I told myself this fact, I couldn't stop the rebel tears to fill my eyes and feel relief that Miyu didn't count only with me and more if in a near or far away future something bad happened to me. She had her father who would take her under his wing and I felt calm and glad for that. I knew she can count with mom and my friends and sensei but it wasn't the same and I didn't want to burden them with that knowing that one fine day they will have their own priorities and life if they didn't have it now. And besides and more important, I always felt sad and crushed imaging how Miyu would feel when she were older and she knew that her father was there in the village too but he didn't care a bit about her.

So yes, I was feeling a bittersweet sensation and I couldn't hide it or deny it to myself. I wanted to be part of the whole picture but I know I would never be. Sasuke-Kun had thought in me too and had tried to protect me and acknowledge me because I was the mother of his child and just for that and I knew it, yes, even with my heart breaking at it and I was forcing myself to accept it as a undeniable and unchangeable truth forever since a long time ago, even before I had gotten knocked up by him. Every day I had a personal and secret and hurtful battle inwardly when I had in one side my useless hope and in the other my harsh reality and this last one had to win time after time. I had gotten used to accept it day by day but that didn't mean I couldn't feel in some moments depressed suffering for the hard result. For the brutally honest and expected truth. And I know, I really know and force myself to remember that I will never be loved as a woman for him and that he will always just see me and treat me as the mother of his heiress and possibly as a friend or companion.

And I loved him so much and I craved so much to be near him and enjoy just his presence that I had come to the conclusion of accepting whatever part he wanted me to play in his life and future. I had been so utterly miserable and completely unhappy and I had ached terribly since I had tried so hard and pointlessly to stay away from him and his life that now I had reached my limits and I don't want anymore to be out of his life and presence. I love him with a force that I cannot measure and so I'll find happiness just being beside him, nearer or not, frequently or not, just beside him enough that it is all that counts.

Do I still feel hurt for the words that unforgettable night he said to me, about me?

Yes. It hurt to recall them and it hurt so much more to think that he still could think that about me. He had changed his opinion over Miyu and had compensated his cruel words about her with what he had done for her now. In his way he had said that he regretted them and that he was sorry for saying all that about his unborn daughter. But I didn't have the same for me and yes, it hurts me and pains me and makes me cry when I remember the words directed at me and it is so devastating to recall them that I prefer to imagine that he had changed them a little and that maybe one fine that I would know he doesn't think like that about me and it scares the hell out of me to just think in asking him straight about it. I'm so scared of his answer that I prefer to numb myself and leave it just like that, like an open wound that will be not healed ever. I know I was wrong in sleeping with him and giving him the idea that he could treat me that way. But I can't forget it completely even if I had forgiven him just due of my immense and undying love. I cannot believe he doubted about my love for him in that way. But this love is bigger than that and was demanding me to put peace between us and give our daughter the care and love of his father no matter the problems he and her mother have going on.

So I had accepted finally that I had lost my battle, that battle I had started that fateful day in the hospital when I had come to say goodbye to him aching and angry and sad and somehow I didn't feel defeated or crushed by it. He was part of my life forever through our link with Miyu and it was time to find the way to handle that. If I was destined to only be some sort of friend to him well, so be it. Perhaps one fine day I would have to say goodbye finally to him if he found someone who he really could love and I will have to apart myself in his happiness' sake even with my being totally destroyed by it. So I had to work in expecting that sad outcome and prepare myself to let him go and hope to find another love in my path. I have to work hard in that. I have to prepare myself. Because he's not mine and he never was and he will never be. He doesn't love me even now that he has protected me with his secrets.

But I doubt I can find someone who I can love like I love him. With this intensity and certainty that burns me from inside. There's no one else in this world who can loves him as I do. And there's no one in this world that I can love as much as I love him.

That was why I decided to go in his search. My little girl needed him here in the village and I wanted him beside her and beside me even just as something that comes and goes but it will never be at my side forever. I wanted him here because he is sick and I dreaded the possibility of him dying away from all of us, I dread the possibility of him dying. Only thinking in that kills me instantly and blackens my world. I'm not going to let him die. I won't.

I didn't feel good and I didn't want to take part in the heritage of his clan. I never wanted that from him. I knew Miyu has all the right to take it and be proclaimed as an owner and I'm proud and relieved to have her recognized. She's an Uchiha too. But me? I feel awkward and wrong in taking part of it. I know Sasuke-Kun did it to guarantee protection and security for his daughter through me but that doesn't lessen my sincere feelings. I feel worst knowing that I'm not even married with him and so on I don't have any right to take part of his possessions and all that. I wanted his heart. Just that. He had stolen mine even if I had tried uselessly to take it back or freeze it in his hands.

After receiving the permission of the Hokage-Sama and leaving the village we run through the forest in silence. I was quiet trying to not think in the worst scenario, trying to not picture him injured, wounded, dead. I cleared my head from that awful thoughts relying on my hope and the smile of my child when she finally could see her father at last. I couldn't help to smile happily at imaging Sasuke-Kun's reaction at it. Kakashi-Sensei, Naruto and Shikamaru were silent too probably trying to respect my turmoil of feelings or being swept by their own. In fact we had only talked when we were still in Tsunade-Sensei's office and they had discussed something that had worried me deeply and clutched my chest and throbbing heart filling me with unbearable dread and pain.

* * *

"_So you'll go and I really hope that you can find him the sooner you can for everyone's sake." The honey eyed Hokage said seriously worried and sincere. "I'll send Gai with a team to help you out taking another path to cover other territories."_

"_Thank you Hokage-Sama."_

_Kakashi said doing a reverence that she accepted with a nod. Before saying them to go she laid eyes on Sakura who was concerned and quiet hearing everything with a frown full on seriousness._

"_There's something that it's bothering me tough. And it's the reason behind Sasuke's actions in putting legally all his possessions under Miyu's name like some sort of Last Will. I fear he didn't do it only to prove himself as her father but if was a way of saying goodbye too."_

_Naruto was shocked and preoccupied seeing her with wide eyes while Sakura was stunned paralyzed and staring openly at the blond woman. Shikamaru just dropped his head in thoughtfulness. Kakashi-Sensei was just serious and meditative._

"_What... what are you meaning?"_

_The blond boy asked her with stuttering caused by dread. Sakura clutched her hands lowering her watering emerald look. But Shikamaru was the one who spoke then._

"_We think Sasuke did all this not only because he wanted to left Miyu protected and secure and under his wing with his last name. He didn't have to go to do all that and proclaim he was indeed her father. He could let that be public being here. Sooner or later we would had known about the necklace and about the Uchiha's heritage. He seemed to have prepared everything to be known by us when he wasn't here anymore. In some sort of saying goodbye forever to the village and to all of us, especially Miyu and you Sakura."_

"_He prepared himself in his fleeing like he had never done it before in his runaways. He searched for information of an specific mission. He left like if he was somehow prepared to fight... or die."_

_Tsunade added carefully and concerned. Sakura covered her shaking chin and lips by instinct with her right hand shocked and with crystal eyes._

"_It seems he was planning to never return. Not matter if he found himself in the middle of a mission we don't know or if he just decided to go away from Konoha. I see your point. He indeed did his Last Will. But what worries me more is the information he wanted so bad that made him so decided to leave forever in any way."_

_Kakashi-Sensei sighed preoccupied and pondering his own words. Naruto was confused and trembling in despair and concern. Sakura's eyes let fall some tears awakening her in her stunned state and she shocked her head and blinked away the rest from her emerald eyes with firm expression._

"_Even if he was planning something like that I won't let him go. Not matter what path he wants to follow." She said decisive and serious and avoiding the words "run away forever" or "die". She had promised her daughter and herself to bring him back and she wouldn't give up till there was hope still. "I'll find him."_

"_Sakura-Chan is right! That fool won't go just like that! I won't let him either!"_

_Naruto said cheerful and dead serious smiling with confidence. Tsunade smirked proud and knowingly at him. Sakura nodded at her best friend hopeful and with determination while Kakashi smiled warmly and Shikamaru just sighed with a crooked smile._

"_Well said then. Go and find Sasuke and bring him home."_

_And with that final words the four of them left the Hokage's office and begun their quest in search of the only love of the pink haired lady that were with them with a promise she wasn't willing to break._

* * *

_Sakura POV_

I had been so scared hearing them saying that. Was Sasuke-Kun really saying goodbye to everything? He indeed didn't want any of us to know about his plans over Miyu and me while he was still in the village. Eventually like Shikamaru had said sooner or later we would have known the truth but he seemed to want to be out of the picture when that moment was going to happen. And besides, if he was still alive, why would he let everything in Miyu's and my hands? People usually do that when they are about to die. Doesn't he have plans for the territories the Uchiha Clan owns till now and the money and all that? Didn't he feel that he would have a future with any of it?

Again, the fear possessed me imaging the only answer to all this. A definitive goodbye... or death.

And either of them destroyed my hurting soul and desperate heart that prayed incessantly to find him quickly and safe.

_Please Sasuke-Kun... let us find you... Miyu needs you... and I... I..._

"We'll separate ways here. There are several traces of fighting and footprints. I know we're not prepared and designed for this job but now that we had encountered it we cannot turn our back on it. Let's hope we could contact the team that is handling it so we can go on in our search of Sasuke."

I was violently pulled out from my lost thought and scared reverie that I hadn't notice that we had stopped our tracks and that Kakashi-Sensei with my two friends had studied the spot while I was daydreaming nightmares. Still neither of them acknowledged my distraction feeling empathy at my state of mind but I went back at the ninja inside of me and put all my attention and seriousness analyzing everything around me trying to not think in the worst. My chest hurt painfully at the mere thought of his death. I shocked inwardly at myself trying to clear my head from that horrible and killing possibility and I tried hard to concentrate and help my team. We had encountered some strange spot when it seemed that some sort of battle had happened and Kakashi-Sensei was right. We couldn't turn our back on this being the class of ninjas we were. Just seeing the spot it gave you the idea that something really terrible had happened not so long ago and there was blood in some places around us. That only meant that there was injured people that needed my help. I frowned worried and serious and when we took different paths like Kakashi-Sensei had told us previously to verify the near area and return then to the spot with news I did my job pretty attentive and observant. The thought of my Sasuke-Kun, yes, my Sasuke-Kun because he was mine before anyone else who could come after me, was still inside my mind and heart like a bittersweet reminder of the real reason of me being there in the middle of the forest but it was in the back of my head for the time being. I walked carefully and ready to fight if the situation required it and I had been examining my surrounding when I stopped suddenly hearing and seeing people trying to hide behind some trees.

My green eyes quickly scanned them and I noticed that they were wounded and pretty scared.

I rushed my way to them and immediately when they sensed me they were shocked and afraid but I spoke to them calmly and worried explaining my intentions. They seemed pretty relieved when they heard me and saw me and the woman and the child were crying from stress and tension. They were a small family, the parents and a little boy. They were quite well dressed and seemed to be people with resources and money. I put myself to work and I preferred to attend them and their state before contacting any of the members of my team. Between tears and shaking voice they explained to me that they had been ambushed with the ninjas that accompanied them in their travel for protection by some sort of masked shinobi that wanted to kidnap the little boy that was hugging tightly and afraid her mother crying terrified. The poor kid was a couple of years older than Miyu and I felt moved imaging the pain they had felt when that nasty ninjas had tried to take him away. I was angered too, I could understand them pretty well now that I had my own child. But I had to focus myself and maintain my head cold and collected and do my job the best I could. They told me that the ones protecting them had gone to fight them but they had been killed or badly injured and they didn't have any idea of what had happened after they disappeared chasing the kidnappers and the appearance of the boy.

"The boy?"

I asked while I was bandaging a very awful wound in the man's right arm. He was calmer with me there in total control.

"Yes, the boy. If it wasn't for him we would had died and our son would have been kidnapped by that monsters. When our protectors didn't returned and they killed the ones who stayed with us we run until we stopped near here thinking we had lost them. Our protectors died trying to give us a chance to run and we took it. But some of that monsters followed us and they were ready to kill me and my wife if we didn't let them take Akira. It was then that the boy appeared and defended us fighting them. In fact he was a pretty good ninja. It was thanks to him that we're only injured and not dead and that Akira is with us."

"He protected us and then left chasing the two who run away after seeing him defeating their other partners in crime. We wanted to thank him for saving our life!"

The woman said sincerely shaken and sobbing stressed out. Her husband hugged her and the little boy in her arms supportive and caring. I smiled encouraging them and put myself to finish my work and when I had finally done it I was left just taking care of them and watching their sweet family portrait with melancholy. I reached Kakashi-Sensei by radio and soon he and my other teammates and friends will come after finishing their own investigation. The little boy had just a few scratches and now he was sleeping securely in his father arms. The mother was still hugging her husband resting her head against his left shoulder and she was still stiff and rigid from the tension originated from the attack. The man was calmer and more confident having me there and now he had a fierce look in his eyes while his stance was protecting his family.

I sighed nostalgic and worried thinking in Sasuke-Kun. I needed to find him desperately and truly. I just needed him near me even if he wasn't destined for me. And seeing the love that couple shared and had grown with their son's birth just gripped my heart in sorrow and sad happiness. I just wanted that simple thing. I just desired that for me. Why I don't have it? Why he doesn't love me? Why he couldn't love me? Why he had chosen me then to be the mother of his child unexpectedly? Why he had sex with me?

I dropped my head resignated and with crystal eyes and my distraction caused my ignorance at the sudden attack that fell upon us without any kind of warning. Five men appeared from behind the trees around us, dressed in black and with masks and started to attack us immediately. I was so infuriated hearing the little boy crying and the woman screaming in panic and looking at the man ready to die defending them that I fought them with precision and velocity putting myself between the kidnappers and the family.

Still with all my training and might they were quite good and there was a little moment when they caused me to hesitate when two approached dangerously the parents and the child without me expecting it. I was angrier by then and when I had prepared myself to do a major technique to protect them even exposing myself something happened that I wasn't expecting and took me by surprise freezing me in my spot. Someone dressed similar to them appeared from nowhere in front of me and defended me from an attack skillfully. I was shocked seeing that person just a mere inches protecting me, protecting us, with mouth gaping and eyes wide opened looking seriously and confused when I heard the woman behind me screaming "It's him, it's the boy, he returned!". The men put all the attention to him and started attacking him without giving him any chance to run. I watched the scene paralyzed by unexpected confusion and when one of them tried to hurt me the mysterious boy took me in his arms and stepped back with a perfect jump to the spot where the family was watching terrified the battle. I felt so shocked being there in that strange boy's arms like a stupid and defenseless little girl that I had to shock my head to get out from my unexplained and stunned reverie. Something about his warmth and presence warned my amazed mind. I looked up at the face of the person protecting me and my surprise and mental paralysis were so unexpected, so big and stunning that I lost my voice and my serious and observant frown and I blinked slowly my emerald eyes staring shocked and frozen at that pale face of black eyes.

It was him. My Sasuke-Kun.

He was the so called "boy".

He just locked his dark eyes with mine for seconds before lowering me from his arms. That eyes had worn the former fire of him and had spoken of his skill and talent as a shinobi and the representative of the famous and recalled Uchiha Clan. I had seen in his face and his stance, his stare and limited force, the old Sasuke-Kun I remember from before, the one that was so damn good in battle, so strong and bright, so resourceful that made my heart to quiver in girlish passion, in that sweet crush that was still inside of my trembling soul. I knew that he wasn't exactly the same as he was when his health was good and complete, but still the same old spark of elegant power and natural training was in every part of his being. I had to let out a deep sigh of adoring watching and I could felt the soft red covering my pale cheeks but I was staring serious and concerned at him, so glad of seeing him so soon and well, and so worried for encountering him in such bad situation. I wanted to hug him tight crying of happiness for finding him finally. But I was shocked too by the unexpected encounter we were facing right now and his attitude and his near presence shaking me from inside.

He had looked briefly at me with his cold and indifferent mask matching perfectly that beautiful face of him but I didn't care. He had protected me. He had taken me away from the danger even knowing I could now defend myself. Even if he had done it just thinking in Miyu's behalf, I found it touching and my hope grown a little bit against my reality. I was sure that even if we hadn't had a daughter he still had done the same. Something in the way he embraced me told me about it and just remembering the feelings that had spread through me being there in his arms caused me to melt inwardly at it.

I had forgotten how good and marvelous it felt to be so close to him.

He was fighting them while I was just like a little girl watching him enchanted by his presence, stupid and useless and that made me angrier especially at me and I quickly run to help him ready to show him and to me, that I was not the same weak girl I was before. I had fought against me so bad in the past trying to leave that behind me, trying to improve myself that it still affected me sometimes. I wanted to be strong to help everyone but I wanted it especially to one fine day protect the one I love with all my soul. Sasuke-Kun turned around at me with a frown that told me of his disapprove of my actions and I found it so damn cute that I just smiled daring him honestly with amusement while I was punching hard one of the masked ninjas. I saw amazed and proud how my attitude had surprised him and a little frown of embarrassment and disagreed marked his face making him even cuter in his own disgruntled and fierce expression.

To our good luck suddenly my teammates appeared finally and they helped us quickly to submit the kidnappers. I had to admit to myself that I didn't care about anything when I knew everything was going to be fine and I fixed my shivering emerald glance in his silhouette. Kakashi-Sensei, Naruto and Shikamaru had been so damn shocked and surprised to see him there but I saw after they seized the dangerous situation around us that they felt the same relief I was feeling for finding him safe and fine. Sasuke-Kun was fighting too not able to lose his status of a great shinobi in front of any of us. I knew how proud he could be and that only made him cuter to me and made me to giggle dreamily still with a stupid fallen in love and childish stare. I was left to see everything in slow motion while I was taking care of the family who were now calmer with all of my team there and their savior. It was the first time that I really knew that I had been fighting uselessly against my love and yearning to be near him all this long months. I had tried, yes, I had done it, I had done everything in my power to run away from him and have a life without him but I had failed and now I was accepting the fact. Why would I do if he do something hurtful again to me?

Probably I would not put distance and time again between us like I had done it for more than a year in spite of my grudge and suffering.

When my teammates and Sasuke-Kun finished battling the masked shinobis, they come to me and the family and Kakashi-Sensei started to ask questions to me and them and take decisions. I forgot for a moment that Sasuke-Kun's was in front of me a little away looking at us cold and with a strange resignation painting his dark beautiful eyes.

"Well I guess it was lucky that we encountered this situation. We resolved two missions." Kakashi-Sensei smiled openly at the still Uchiha who frowned and averted his black gaze. "Anyway I had contacted the team that was tracking this group of criminals. We need to show them where we left the other members of the gang and to put you in custody." He said to the family and they nodded relieved and smiling shyly. "So, Naruto, Shikamaru and I are barely hurt and you Sakura had treated perfectly these three persons so the only injured one here is Sasuke."

I turned to him worried and serious just scanning him immediately. I hadn't realized before that he was hurt and I smacked myself for that. I was so lost in watching him and basking in the feelings I had tried to buried deep inside of me that I hadn't seen that in the last fightings he had gotten hurt. Sasuke narrowed his intense stare annoyed at our former sensei who just smiled awkwardly.

"So were going to take care of the things while you treat him Sakura. When you're ready contact me to tell you what's next."

I just nodded speechless at the meaning of his order. The family thanked us, and especially Sasuke-Kun sincerely and he just nodded calm and collected. Then they left after Shikamaru and Kakashi-Sensei and Naruto took another path into the forest. But before going, Naruto came over Sasuke-Kun and pointed at him with his right eyebrow twitching and with freaky serious voice that it didn't quite go with our always cheerful and optimistic blond friend.

"I'm glad we found you again idiot! And don't dare to leave again because all this fighting left me hungry and tired and annoyed and you know me! Sakura-Chan can knock you down if you try it again, you hear me fool?"

Kakashi-Sensei and I giggled in secret seeing Sasuke-Kun glaring caught off guard at Naruto's words and attitude. He had narrowed his eyes somehow embarrassed. I thought he was going to do something against Naruto in response but my two teammates left immediately and then my amusement died when I knew that I had been left alone with him. My body froze from expectation and tension but I put on my disguise of medic nin and I confronted him with my serious and controlled face. I took a deep breathe and I approached him who was just waiting for me indifferent and observant and I saw that he was only injured in the head, in his forehead to be more precisely. I wanted to punch Kakashi-Sensei for giving me the idea of him being more injured but I knew he had wanted to leave me alone with him to properly talk. In his forehead was a deep and bleeding cut marking his pale skin just above the crimson Hyuuga seal. That focused me more than the last time when we had found ourselves in a similar situation and even when I still feel like that time, so nervous, shy and awkward with him all by myself, shaking inwardly at his nearness, I concentrated in healing him and watching the seal that I had not examinated before.

I had seen it but I didn't dare to stay watching it thinking that it was rude. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable so the last time I didn't put the least attention to that part of his face and I pretended that there wasn't anything there. But know I had the opportunity and I took it while I cleaned and healed the wound with the major carefulness and care I could reunite in my curative hands and warm chakra. We were standing just in front of the other alone in that part of the forest just with the quiet company of the trees and the wind making them dance with grace and I was so close to him that I felt my heart ringing wildly in my ears and pounding hard in my chest and I had to do a lot of effort to control my uneven breathing. I frowned trying to focus in my work. Sasuke-Kun was taller than me, probably just a head above but even that didn't put a limit to my chance of steal him the kiss I wanted so bad but I didn't dare to take it. He was just standing still indifferent and cold, glancing at me with freezing calm. Since he had stayed with Orochimaru he had changed to that wintered version of himself. So cold, so unreachable, so indifferent, so serious, so proud, so arrogant. But before when we had been kids he had been more impulsive and talkative. He smirked much more in that past times. Later when we had encountered him later after his first fleeing from Konoha years ago we had found this frozen Sasuke-Kun who was so calm and collected in every circumstance we could think of.

But I don't care. I love him no matter how he is because I love every part of him. I love him just who he is. I love him if he's fire or if he's ice. I love him.

And I just wanted one day to see him smile and laugh openly like he had never really done it since I had met him.

I watched sad and concerned at the red tattooed seal after healing him. It was beautiful but so damn cruel. I had heard about what had caused in my Sasuke-Kun that day at the picnic and I had been so enraged for it and intensely worried. I didn't have the chance to go see him because he left before I could do it.

I, lost in my thoughts and preoccupation, let my right hand to trace its crimson lines with my fingertips delicately and slowly without caring if he could apart me or get angry at me for doing it. I even dared to brush away some strands of his jet black hair from his handsome face while he was just like before in front of me scanning my actions with that deep eyes of him. My green eyes lowered from his hair basking in every small detail of his face till they reached his perfect mouth and I felt the urgency of kissing just once that lips and I reddened instantly embarrassed for my thought. I shocked inwardly trying to get hold of myself again and I tried to rise my look at his eyes and forget his lips but I caught him barely smirking and putting his mouth in such position that it was begging me to kiss it.

My face burned in fire of embarrassment at him actually knowing what I wanted to do.

I frowned serious and put all my will in control me, erase the red from my warm cheeks and I turned my gaze just for seconds before knowing what I have to say to him. I was there for a reason, I had gone on mission for a reason and I couldn't let my powerful feelings to overtake me now. I'll always want to take that kiss from him but I know I'll never have it anyway. Sad and serious I took some steps back and spun around to face him again. He was like before, cold, calm and indifferent staring at me like studying my actions.

_Calm down fool. You can't be overpowered by that beautiful black eyes of him! He cannot know how much it affects you to be near him! He cannot know how deep he shakes your world even worst than before and after having sex with him!_

"Listen" I said first firm and deadly serious and concerned. Inner Sakura was right. I cannot show him all the love he took out from the inside of my heart. It's pointless. I don't want to force him to anything and force myself to him. We only shared our lives for Miyu, our daughter. Just that. But only seeing him there swept me completely leaving me defenseless and at his disposal. "Mother told me all about the necklace and the Uchiha heritage... I was so surprised and shocked at discovering what you have done.." He averted his black stare and focused it in a tree in front of us. I knew he was listening to me but he really didn't want to discuss it. He actually had thought probably that I wouldn't be able to see him again to talk about it and he had been mistaken. Now we were here and I was ready to chat it. He was feeling like me, just that I was in another matter in fact, feeling it due to the strange reaction my being let show when we were in normal situations like this one. "I know you expect to go away without me, without us talking it... but I'm glad we found you... I have to say that I didn't expect you doing all that for Miyu but I'm so happy and relieved. Really. I know now without a doubt and against all odds that you care deeply and really about her and that you love her truly."

I smiled sincerely moved and locked my green eyes in his pale face. He saw me by the corner of his black stare which seemed exhausted. The intensity in his look forced me to lower my gaze and put it in the green grass beneath our feet.

"So I was never trying to take her away from you. You're her father. You can be with her any time you want and I'll let you see her any time you want. If it is what you really want, you can be her father and I won't forbid you to be it. Really, I just want her to have her dad and be happy. I just want you to be her dad and be happy. I want happiness for the both of you. I won't get in the middle. I can never do that."

I sighed honestly smiling softly with my eyes lost in the ground. I knew he had his dark glance fixed in the truck of the tree. I turned to him slowly searching for a reaction to my words. He sensed me watching and waiting patiently with serenity and seriousness and a kind invitation and nodded afterwards locking his secretive eyes in my pale face for seconds before returning them to the front. I could sense that he wasn't expecting this, he wasn't expecting to be confronted about his last actions in favor of our daughter and least hearing me saying all that. I nodded too smiling glad. He couldn't go on denying the true love he felt for our little girl and he had accepted it finally.

"Sasuke-Kun... you should return to Konoha with us. There's not point in going away, the village is your home, it has been always... so please, come back with us, Miyu misses you, you know... she keeps calling for you to come to see her. Konoha is our home, is your home... you cannot change that even after everything that had happened... so come back, I promised her to bring you to her and you know a mother can't break her promises."

I said playfully sincere and smiling melancholic. I didn't say anything else but I caught he had taken my words seriously and he was meditating them deeply in his stillness, muteness and always present control of his imaginary world. I looked him serious and concerned, wondering how was his world now, how he perceived it and how strong he must be to live in a atmosphere mixing reality and fiction. I never forgot, and all of us either, that his hallucinations were present in every moment in his life, just sometimes they were fewer and weaker than others. I wanted so bad to hug him and make them go and leave him in peace.

Suddenly my reverie was cut off when I heard the voice of our former sensei through the radio in my ear and I went in alarm after listening his voice in a middle of a big fight. I lost communication with him and Sasuke-Kun and I knew what it meant and we look at each other after I tried uselessly to contact any of them again. We fixed looks in the other's just seconds before nodding and agreeing in what we had to do and we run together, side by side, like two teammates in a mission, like the past times, searching desperately and worriedly our friends. When we found them we noticed immediately that they had been ambushed by new masked shinobi and the family was again panicked and scared seeing the battles with profound dread and shock. Sasuke-Kun and I approached our three friends quickly and started to fight back and help out. For long minutes everything was balanced till we noticed that they seemed pretty interested in Sasuke-Kun and some of them had encircled him looking to hurt him badly or even kill him. I could almost hear how one of them demanded him to give them what he had stolen from them or else they were going to finish him. I didn't exactly know of what they were talking about because I had my own enemies to knock down but my heart leaped in painful concern at seeing the young man I love in such a danger. He could sense my preoccupied and constant stare over him and for one time he turned quickly to me looking intensely and serious.

"GIVE US THE LIST!"

One of the men shouted at Sasuke-Kun but he continued fighting without stepping back. Of what list they were talking about? My pounding heart was then crushed when I saw in slow motion how they almost had submitted him and were ready to kill him without a doubt. My world was stopped and I was paralyzed even wanting to move faster, I got deaf and my voice cried out his name damn worried and desperately and I extended my hand trying to reach him knowing that I was very far away to save him. Tears stung my wide opened eyes when I saw surprised that Naruto had approached him suddenly putting himself in the middle of Sasuke-Kun and the masked ninjas receiving him the powerful strike of their attack. I screamed surprised and intensely concerned at seeing Naruto's body falling to the ground badly injured unconscious and I forced my body to move faster until I got to the both of them like Shikamaru but we were contained by more enemies making us angry and desperate to reach our fallen friend. Kakashi-Sensei too was trying to get the upper hand in battle but the masked kidnappers seemed to be part of a pretty damn big army. When one fell three more appeared from nowhere to replace him. I was dreading that if I couldn't help Naruto in time he could get worst or even die. I shocked my head enraged and trying not to cry from anger and desperation. Suddenly I saw a black fire starting from nothing in the middle of the battlefield scaring the hell out of the criminals and even catching some of them in its powerful and mysterious dark flames engulfing their bodies. I got stunned seeing that with my heart gripping in hurt and worry.

Amaterasu.

I looked quickly at Sasuke-Kun seeing the red liquid coming from his left eye staining his cheek and falling down his pale face. The Mangekyou Sharingan was active and put his black eyes in that marvelous and dangerous pattern I had seen before with dread. Now I was just staring worriedly at him using his power. I knew what the consequences were. He stopped it when Shikamaru and Kakashi-Sensei could finish off the rest of the masked criminals using his ability again. The effort had been bigger and exhausting than when he used it totally healthy in the past and he was gasping for air and fell to his knees totally worn out. His black eyes wore a truly shade of tiredness. He had made an extreme effort to brought out the Amaterasu in his state and that touched and crushed my loving heart.

I knelt in front of my blond friend almost crying but I got serious and put my medic nin to work without losing a minute examinating him. Sasuke-Kun was looking at our falling friend with somehow shocked expression hiding behind his coldness and seriousness. But I had seen how he had been surprised at watching Naruto protecting him and in his own secretive way he was completely worried for him.

Shikamaru returned to the family calming them down and I attended Naruto's injuries the fastest and best I could while Kakashi-Sensei contacted the team in charge of the mission related to the kidnappers. With my effort and experience soon I healed Naruto and got him in an stable state. I dried my sweating forehead with the back of my hands after attending him sighing tired and glad of being there to help my blue eyed friend. He needed to be hospitalized but I was pretty sure that in some days he would be fine again. I stayed at his side checking his vitals in case they had changed but I focused too in Sasuke-Kun knowing how the Amaterasu had gotten the best of him at the moment. He was near us still in the same position looking distracted at the lying and unconscious silhouette of Naruto. He was shivering and seemed to have a little fever.

"Are you alright Sasuke-Kun?"

I asked him worried and he nodded at me. Still I did a quick checkup on him in spite of his rejection at it and I was glad that he didn't have severe injuries and tried to heal in him what I could. He was affected badly by the using of his Mangekyou Sharingan but that was natural in him even being healthy or not. I heard concerned and with teary eyes how his breathing evened slowly and he seemed a little recovered. The seal should had done something to prevent and limit his power over the Amaterasu and had sickened him a little. But I could sense like the medic nin I was that he was weak and exhausted from everything, especially the using of his black fire. We were silent just watching our best friend preoccupied while Shikamaru and Kakashi-Sensei took charge of everything without might to say anything more and being quiet comfortable with it. I still blushed with his nearness and hypnotizing stare but I have been finding a some sort of strange acceptation little by little. I didn't care if he could make me feel forever shy, nervous or awkward. I knew that the love I feel for him caused it and gladly I could feel always like that if I could have him beside me. I wonder how he felt with me near him. Sadly I had to remember and realize the truth.

"Hey guys... what with the long... faces?"

Naruto's weak and slow voice called my attention and I took his hand in mine smiling relieved and happy at seeing him conscious with watery emerald glance. Sasuke-Kun narrowed his eyes serious at him but I could almost see the sigh of relief he let out secretive at hearing Naruto talking.

"Don't do that again to us Naruto! What I could have said to Hinata you stupid fool?!"

I lectured jokingly at him and he chuckled barely wincing from pain. I smiled sincerely relieved when he smiled back softly and cheerfully. We got interrupted when Anko, Chouji, Tenten and Neji arrived finally claiming to be the team in search of the masked criminals. They took charge of everything thanking us for our help and testifying the state of Naruto forced us to return quickly to Konoha. They were pretty strong and sure to be able to take care of the rest and we obeyed them grateful knowing pretty well that the four of us were tired from the entire episode. Chouji, Tenten and Neji were very worried for Naruto and surprised and relieved to see Sasuke-Kun with us. They greeted the both happily and then got to do their job in assisting the qualified Anbu.

Kakashi-Sensei carried Naruto on his back while this one was almost falling unconscious again and we took our path back to the village. A good thing was that we weren't far from reaching it and I kept beside the two watching over my blond friend incessantly with detailed observance. Sasuke-Kun was following us closely and I kept him in check in case he decided to run away or if he fell sick suddenly. But somehow I knew that after my little speech he had taken the decision to return with us and stay in Konoha again and hopefully forever. I smiled sad and happy at the same time inwardly at noticing that I hadn't failed to my little girl. I had kept my promise of bringing him back to us and I felt proud and in a melancholic state of bliss. Now I was pretty sure that Sasuke-Kun indeed worried about any of his former friends and sensei not matter who he was now and in his actual situation, either physical, mental or emotional. I had always wondered if he truly thought in us and in the pain he caused when he acted so erratic and mysterious and I had a pretty sure idea that he indeed did. He had showed it when he had saved Shino in that mission and now in worrying for Naruto's sake. He could show always that he was a soft freezing winter inside of a person but I know better now. He could be trapped in his ill world with reality and fiction but I know better now. Sasuke-Kun at the end had remembered his links to us and feelings, whatever they were, and he had proved it when he had sided with Konoha even in spite of his own desire of revenge and grudge against what we represented with the village in his pained heart.

Probably he would never accept it in public or much less to other but it was there inside of him. Perhaps he would never say anything about it. Maybe he would never accept it even to himself.

But I knew better now.

And I was content to know it even just for myself.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

I'm not surprised a lot seeing Sasuke beside Naruto's bed in hospital.

When we arrived Konoha immediately we took him to Tsunade-Sama and Shizune and they took care of him without losing a second. I ordered Sakura, Shikamaru and Sasuke to go to rest, take a shower and eat. I was going to do it too, after all we all need it desperately. I accompanied the Uchiha (we lived one beside the other anyway) and we didn't return to the hospital till hours later after we were ready and strong again. Shizune had told us to return till that time after Naruto had been treated and the Hokage had received Anko's team report to talk to us about all. The two experienced in medicine women were so glad and relieved to see that we had returned with Sasuke too. He had been a little confused of everyone's well intentioned reaction for his coming back and he had been a little more introspective than always. In my observance I blamed it in his strange disbelief of our good feeling towards him and the discovery of his love for his daughter. He had accepted finally his parenthood and care for Miyu and he couldn't take it back even by any secret reason he could have.

I had left my room ready to go to visit Naruto and see Tsunade-Sama and he was out of his room already waiting drifting in thought for me. We were in silence all the time that took the both of us to return to the hospital because I know him and I wasn't going to put in obvious that he had intended to leave the village forever and he had been dragged back without him wanting it completely. I acted like if nothing had happened and let him be with his quietness and lost black stare. I knew that Sakura had talked to him about their situation of being parents of a child and I had seen that they seemed calmer and able to connect with the other even if it was just for that. At least they were acting mature this time but I couldn't help to feel sad knowing of the suffering of my former pink haired student loving him so much that it had hurt her so badly months ago and still does.

When we arrived at Naruto's white room he was awake and Hinata and Sakura were there laughing with him. He seemed still pale and weak but his humor was cheerful and optimistic like always. Like I had noticed before, Sakura and Sasuke just greeted the other, she with a simple smile and he with a simple nod but they were in peace now. A sorrowful one, but at least peace. We joked about Naruto's state and laughed and talked about how all of his friends had come to visit him already. Iruka-Sensei had come earlier with Konohamaru and his two little friends too. Hinata never let go of his right hand that was clutched lovingly between hers and she looked relieved and happily, and yes, completely loving at him. Sometimes I know that Naruto doesn't know exactly how much she loves him even when he loves her deeply. We got interrupted by Shizune who told us to go to talk to Tsunade-Sama about the mission but Sasuke didn't want to go. We respected his wishes, besides, the honey eyed Hokage had talked before with him in company of Hiashi-Sama after we arrived to the hospital. Sakura and Hinata stood up following me, Naruto had asked his dark haired girlfriend to go in his place pouting and begging like a little flirting boy. She just giggled blushed and cheerful and left the room with me and Sakura in tow. Before going out of the white place I casted a last glance at the lying Naruto who was talking optimistic and happy looking at his quiet black eyed friend who was sitting in a chair beside the right side of the bed. I smiled warmly seeing Sasuke there like Naruto had been other times when the places were changed between the two. And sadly I knew deeply that it was going to be the Uchiha who would be in a near future more times in the place of the bed instead of the blond heir of the Fourth Hokage.

While we were walking in direction of Tsunade-Sama I recalled the reunion she had had with Hiashi-Sama, Sasuke and me. She had wanted the Hyuuga Head of the Clan to check Sasuke up due to his forced intervention with the seal. The wise and powerful man did it and was pretty amazed for the skill showed by Sasuke to meddle with the seal created by him. But he was in major part worried about him and the consequences that his meddling could cause, if they existed however, in a near or far away future. But for now everything seemed fine with the Uchiha and he had only tried to reduce the power the red design had over him when it was directed at stopping him leaving Konoha. We didn't exactly know how the seal still could stop him anyway but Hiashi-Sama said that probably it caused high fever and extreme weakness in Sasuke due to his fighting against the pulling effect showed before. I was relieved after hearing from the Head of the Hyuuga Clan that Sasuke hadn't done a lot of damage or worsen the crimson seal. The Council had ordered Hiashi-Sama to reinforce the seal to limit Sasuke even more than before and he had done it previously being alone with the Uchiha. Tsunade-Sama and I weren't thrilled with it like the Hyuuga Clan Head but we couldn't do anything about it. Now it was less possible that Sasuke could even use his normal Sharingan or the more powerful Jutsus he knew. They couldn't force him again to not leave Konoha without them knowing, that part of the seal was damaged thanks to my former student but they took revenge in limiting him so much that now he could scarcely be considered as an Uchiha in fact. But I know Sasuke and I know how much this is maddening him and with reason and how much he will try to regain control over his abilities and powers flooding in his blood and I will be there to help him not matter what the Council could say about it. They can't take away from him what it is a part of himself. I can't allow it not matter what. It's not right and not logical to me.

Then Tsunade-Sama had checked him up to know if he needed to be hospitalized and was glad to see that he had tried to keep his treatments in check. She only gave him his required shots and test about his seizures being really relieved of not seeing him suffering from any right now. After all the medical stuff she asked him about something we had been wondering about very interested, curious and guessing. We had discussed his past kidnapping of Miyu, now knowing how he had tried to protect her with the necklace, and we thought that probably he had prepared it and done it when he had taken her with him that time. When the Hokage asked him directly and serious about it Sasuke hadn't reacted in a way we could consider a straight answer anyway. He just glared coldly and tiredly at us and then turned his black gaze to one side and we knew that he was seeing invisible things in the room. His pale face shadowed suddenly and there was a flash of pain in that onyx eyes of his. All of us knew that he wasn't going to answer her question in any possible way he could do it. He didn't want us to know what had happened that hours when he had taken his daughter with him outside Konoha. He didn't want us to know how he had achieved that impressive protection for her and in consequence for Sakura herself. We still didn't have a clue about a lot of things happening with the Uchiha and it wasn't a surprise anyway. Sasuke could be very secretive and mysterious with his own life. But Tsunade-Sama and I had in mind that it was probably that reason which drove him to kidnap the little girl and nothing else. He had returned afterwards to the village and everything seemed working in that direction. We really thought and felt that he had taken her to someone who could perform that incredible kind of jutsu but we probably would never know exactly what he had planned.

I still wonder why he chose to protect her in that way but I guess he had decided by then to leave forever Konoha or possibly die. I wonder somehow interested and worried in this last thing. Did he really think that he could possibly die fighting back that men? And if he wouldn't have died then... would he leave forever the village?

Then the blond and exuberant Hokage asked him before letting him go about his interest in the information of that specific mission. Now we knew why Sasuke had entered and searched in Tsunade-Sama's office before deciding to go. We knew why he had prepared himself like if he had been sent in some sort of mission but we still couldn't figure out why he had chosen that mission specifically. The only clue was the list Sasuke had with him when we arrived Konoha and was the thing the kidnappers had wanted to take away from him without caring if they have to kill him. The list had been written in some sort of codification and Tsunade-Sama had asked someone to take it and decipher the contain. We knew Sasuke wouldn't communicate in any possible way what this was all about. He still was trying to have some sort of control and mystery and we wondered the reason behind his impressive rejection to share that information.

We couldn't get nothing more from my former student so the Hokage let him go knowing that she would find this time the real reason behind all his secret behavior. But she couldn't help to thank him and praise him for his participation in the completing of the mission with a certain success. The kidnappers, all of them, were now in jail and they'll spend their life there without doubt about it. They had committed a lot of crimes related with kidnappings to obtain riches and money in another villages and countries.

I sighed tired but glad for knowing that they couldn't hurt or kill another innocent person and harm families in their ambition and cruelty. When I arrived at the honey eyed Sannin's office with the two girls ahead of me, Shizune was already there with her boss and Sai. Hinata and Sakura greeted and talked a little with him really happy for seeing him. I did my part too smiling sincerely at the young man before the Hokage ended giving her orders to Shizune who was writing quickly in a paper her words. We hadn't seen him since a long time ago, Sai had been away so long ago doing some missions far away Konoha under Ibiki's orders. Sakura was asking him cheerfully how had been his life till now away from Konoha and about his job while Hinata asked him sweetly to go and visit Naruto before going again. Even after all that had happened Sai still was a somehow weird person and unexperienced with people and his social skills needed development for some time to come but he wasn't just as before at least. Sometimes watching him I got reminded of Sasuke and viceversa. I always found that freakishly strange.

Sakura had asked him something quite interesting with teasing green glaze and a cocky smile and Hinata was giggling softly at his blank expression till a light red appeared in his pale cheeks and I could straight see his confusion painted in his questioning eyes. But we got interrupted by Tsunade-Sama who had finished with Shizune and the two were waiting for us. We then gathered in front of her big desk and she was serious like always when the matter needed it, but now she seemed calm and even apprehensive in spite of her tiredness too. Shizune was staring at us seriously too.

"Sai deciphered the list's code and gave me the transcription. Now we had answers to the questions we had at least concerning our Uchiha boy."

She motioned her honey eyes towards Sakura and then nodded at her surprising my former pink haired student. Hinata was clueless as her and I was really interested in what the famous female Sannin could say about it.

"The list contains the names of people they had planned to kidnap. There were their locations and family ties and how much they were thinking in ask for the rescue for each one. The name of Miyu Haruno was in it, by the way."

Sakura flinched surprised and shocked at hearing her words. Tsunade-Sama had suddenly got worried and emphatic at the feelings of the young mother that had surfaced with the real meaning behind that words. Hinata supported Sakura with a soft embrace concerned at the whole significance of all. I knew it too, the little now called Uchiha had been in a constant and unknown danger and nobody of us could even imagine it or expect it. That was the true. What could have happened if they would had success in kidnapping Miyu? I didn't even want to think about it. Sakura's pale face and big open, shocked and afflicted emerald eyes reflected it already. Shizune smiled sad and supportive at her who was being soothed by the dark haired Heiress of the Hyuuga Clan.

"They didn't know of her change of name of course when they listed her so her former last name appeared instead of the new one but they knew already of her kinship with Sasuke Uchiha and that was what mattered to them in the end. It 's not a secret that he came from an antique, distinguished and resourceful clan. Her kidnapping was programmed to take place this week. They were planning it still. We were totally clueless at it unfortunately. But I guess Sasuke wasn't." She paused without taking his eyes off us, specially the young pink haired mother who was shaking in realization and suffering at the possible danger her daughter could have suffered. "I don't have still any idea of how Sasuke got the information about them and how he took that list from them but seeing his attire when he arrived with you I guess he disguised himself as one of them to do it. But how he knew about the danger Miyu was facing in her innocent world, I don't know. Probably he heard about it in one of his runaways, after all the kidnappers had time with their business going on from some time ago but they hadn't been imprisoned before. Well they say what they know now being in our hands. Many people is thankful to Konoha for it."

"So this resumes to the way he still protects his daughter in his own way."

My words made Sakura to lower her still pale face to the floor thoughtful and moved. I could see the happiness shining in her emerald gaze but I could see sadness in the soft smile she wore. She seemed a little surprised and it didn't amazed me anymore, Sasuke had proved before how much he cared and loved their little girl. Hinata was smiling sadly and content still embracing her in support. Tsunade closed her wise eyes just a moment with a little smirk painting her face. Shizune was glazing preoccupied at the Haruno heir.

"You could say that. All of you did a wonderful job confronting and capturing that men. You have my compliments. And about our savior I guess he'll stay in the village now permanently. Or not?"

She asked straight at Sakura and she, now calmer after hearing of the potential danger Miyu was facing and now knowing it had dissipated, nodded still with a slight sad distraction masking her features.

"I think he will. There's not a reason not to anyway. I'll make sure Miyu can keep him here forever."

She laughed a little trying to be cheerful but I could sense the pain in that faked laugh and the sadness in that green eyes. Hinata looked at her worried and understanding by the corner of her pearl eyes. Tsunade-Sama just gazed longingly calm at her. Shizune and Sai were serious.

"That's good to hear. I hope for it."

The blond Hokage smiled widely moved at my former student making her to nod again and pretending behind her own thoughts and feelings. Then there was a sharp silence in which all of us were attentive and concerned at her real state of mind and heart but luckily for her the door opened with a loud bang and a young and blond blue eyed woman entered with quick steps and extended arms that went straight to Sai's neck and she clung for it with all her might smiling happily.

"I heard you came back! Why the hell you didn't go to see me Sai?!"

She punched him playfully in his right arm fluttering her long and curved eyelashes with a hint of a cute pouting in her lips. Sakura and Hinata giggled entertained. Shizune, Tsunade and I were only watching amused the scene. Sai was staring at her somehow embarrassed and confused.

"Should I have done it before coming here? I'm sorry Ino."

He said sincerely confused being under the annoyed blue gaze of the serious blond medic nin.

"Hmm..."

She murmured staring seemingly hurt but then just laughed openly clung to him now by her right arm entangled with his left.

"I'm just joking! Don't worry dear. You did well coming here like the good and great shinobi you are."

"That's true Sai. Yamanaka it's only joking. Good job. And for that and all you have been doing you deserve to stay in Konoha some days before going again with Ibiki."

Sai nodded respectful at Tsunade-Sama who was still smiling amused by the couple. Ino was shining in utter bliss.

"Thank you Hokage-Sama! I missed my boyfriend so much in all this time! I didn't have enough time to enjoy him and parade with him in front of my friends and people."

"If I were you Sai I would take that as being a trophy to feel envious at."

"Should I be upset or angry?"

He asked to any of us confused but Ino laughed again dismissing me playfully.

"Kakashi-Sensei you know I'm just joking around. Of course I want him too to be just the both of us, completely and romantically alone."

She rested her head smiling devilishly and coquettish while the boy in question just looked ignorant and tense at her.

"Ino-San please!"

Shizune was scandalized and red while I just chuckled like Tsunade. Sakura and Hinata were thrilled at all, the first one smiling cheerfully and the second smiling sweetly. I was happy to see Sakura enjoying it and just laughing for a moment in peace. Ino dismissed Shizune's panic shrugging and smiling relaxed.

"Then you all can go and do with your time whatever you want and your youth requires."

"Tsunade-Sama!"

Shizune screamed scandalized and embarrassed. We all laughed (except the poor Sai who was clueless and attentive at his blond and outgoing girlfriend) and left leaving the Sannin and her assistant lecturing her for her words while the blond woman just laughed trying to defend herself.

Sai had to go to attend something before taking his little vacations and promised a menacing Ino to come to see her later at her flower shop to talk and go out. I walked ahead the three friends who were talking cheerfully and laughing feeling myself in their own mood by the recent events I had been present. I felt like maybe we all could have some time in peace and live an ordinary life and I wanted, really really wanted it to last forever, but inwardly I knew I was lying to myself. Things never stay the same and it's a thing of life and nature even if we wished it with all our might but that doesn't mean we cannot dream otherwise and hope against it.

That's why it's called hope I guess at the mere end.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"Ino you didn't have to be so specific back there!"

"Ha, ha, come on Sakura! You're the one who doesn't have any say about it!"

She laughed wickedly at me and I blushed immediately knowing what she meant. Oh yeah. Sometimes I forgot that I'm the one who had the _experience_ now and I have a daughter to prove it. Hinata was just smiling blushed too. Of course all of us knew what Ino meant with her words but I don't know how many of them are joke and how many are not. She then sighed somehow mockingly disappointed and dreamily.

"I wish it could be like that. I pray for Sai to take advantage over me. I'm the one who has to assault him instead! Why he doesn't do it?"

I turned my shocked, embarrassed and red face to her like Hinata had done but more blushed than me.

"Wha... what?"

I asked Ino stuttering. She just smirked shrugging completely normal.

"That's what I like him anyway. He's so cute for being so clueless. My my... I think I had fallen in love with him. I wouldn't mind if he could be sometimes a little more active, romantically active I must say. I don't know, a moment of make out would be nice."

She laughed sincere and with a spark of bliss in her blue eyes. Hinata and I just looked at each other smiling happily and forgetting about the things she had said honestly about her relationship with Sai. Remembering I could understand what she meant and wanted sometimes. She was always the one who took his hand or kissed him or hugged him. Only then he answered but he was very respectful and somehow a strange kind of gentleman due mainly to his past. But it was plainly clear that he was enchanted and liked her a lot and he acted very different with her comparing it with his behavior with Hinata, Tenten or me or even any other girl in Konoha. Besides, Naruto had told us that he had been lately questioning him about how to treat and deal with girls and specifically girlfriends. He had asked Neji and Shikamaru too and "The four hottest young bachelors in Konoha" (the name Kiba had set for the group Chouji, Shino, Lee and himself formed) had given him advices too (some good others somehow... suggestive in a joking way).

"I didn't want to hear that by the way."

Kakashi-Sensei's voice made us flinch and he sighed looking back at my friends and me with a slightly red shade of embarrassment tainting his half masked face. Hinata and I were like him red in shame for the meaning of our joyful talk but Ino shrugged and dismissed him smiling with joking malice.

"Ha, ha, sorry Kakashi-Sensei. I didn't remember you were ahead us. Just girl's talk."

"I'll have nightmares."

He said mocking us smiling and shuddering. We laughed openly.

"So don't go gossiping to mother and father, please, Kakashi-Sensei."

Ino said fluttering her beautiful eyelashes and pouting and begging like a little girl. He just chuckled amused.

"Why would I gossip? I don't know what I could gossip anyway."

After that wonderful moment of release and fun thanks to the outgoing blond friend of mine, we went again to Naruto's room to say goodbye for today. Kakashi-Sensei, Ino and Hinata entered but I stopped hearing someone calling me so I turned around looking for the source of the voice confused and interested. When I noticed who it was I smiled wide and happy and extended my arms in utter delight.

* * *

_Kakashi POV_

I wondered why Sakura didn't come after us to see Naruto while Hinata took seat on the other side of his bed and clutched sweetly and smiling his hand in hers and Ino was at the end of the bed standing and gesturing while she was telling Naruto about Sai's comeback. Sasuke was still there beside him sitting in his chair calm and collected, with that common by now lost look in his pale face. I glanced back at the half opened door and caught what Sakura was doing outside the white room. I smiled glad and turned my gaze to Sasuke fixing my stare in him and that was when the door opened completely and my pink haired former student entered with Miyu in her arms and her mother was behind her. The two Haruno women were smiling sincere and happy but the young one seemed melancholic like always. The little girl, by the way, was quiet and watching at her surrounding pretty curious and observant with that black and kind eyes of her. I turned around to face them and greet them with a nod and a smile and Naruto, Hinata and Ino watching me immediately turned around too smiling happily. But it wasn't until Miyu saw the back of his father sitting on the chair that she giggled sweetly and extended her little arms at him calling for his attention that Sasuke himself turned to see what was happening.

"Dada! Dada!"

Sakura was smiling with a heartbreaking mixture of sadness and happiness and approached Sasuke who in turn had stood up with a hint of a smile in his silent lips. His face softened a little and even his obsidian eyes were less lost and empty. Sakura gave Miyu to him and he took her in his arms without doubting or showing any sort of rejection and hugged her with moving care and true love. Sakura just stayed there smiling glad with that emerald gaze shining from emotion and from the pain she tried to hide desperately inside her heart. I looked sadly at her knowing how she was feeling in fact. Sakura's mother was like me, looking at her concerned and touched. The only sound in the room for a couple of minutes was Miyu's voice saying "dada" over and over and "here". She was definitely delighted to see his father after so long ago.

"She wanted to see you so bad Sasuke! Don't make her wait for you anymore, you idiot!"

"And you idiot have to stay quiet in bed! Shizune said that at this hour you cannot have visits."

"What?! But it's still early!"

Naruto reclaimed to Ino who just nodded and smirked like if she was in command of him. This one turned begging and playing around to plead at his girlfriend who looked sweetly at him.

"Please Hinata don't go! Don't leave me alone!"

Naruto said clinging from the dark haired girl's waist making her blush immediately. He was just doing a childish tantrum and she caressed his blond hair lovingly saying that orders were orders. Naruto finally gave up in his amusing joke and we then said goodbye to him knowing he had to rest and sleep and left him alone with Hinata who lingered with him some minutes probably to tell him about the reunion with Tsunade-Sama. Naruto had been very considerate to not ask anything while Sasuke was there with us in the room. Ino waved goodbye saying that she had to make herself prettier for her date with Sai and I was left with Sakura and Sasuke and their little daughter like a specter in company of Ms. Haruno.

"Well for now we have to go. But you can go to visit her whenever you want. And if you want to take her with you to take a walk or whatever, you can do it, just tell me, ok?"

Sakura said honestly calm and glad. I could sense the awkwardness in the atmosphere between the two and specifically emitting from Sakura. Sasuke was to collected to let slip anything that he could be feeling at the moment and was stoic and calm. He wasn't indifferent and was very attentive at the dark haired little lady in his arms quiet and staring marveled at him with big and curious black eyes. He had listened Sakura fixing his glance over her and nodded without any sign of contradiction to her words. Sakura seemed a little shy and nervous being under his deep stare but didn't quiver in her resolution and will. It almost break my soul seeing the intense, pure and definitive love she felt for him. And that love clashed against the wall of indifference he raised towards her that was standing behind his onyx eyes.

"See you later then Sasuke-Kun. Take care and rest, please."

She said preoccupied and sincere and he just nodded again giving Miyu a soft and sweet kiss in her little forehead making her to giggle before surrendering her to her mother. When Sakura followed her mother to the hospital's main exit she spun around with her daughter in arms and waved goodbye gesturing Miyu to imitate her. I was beside Sasuke who was watching them go in his cold demeanor but longing gaze.

"Say bye bye to dad and Kakashi-Sensei. Bye bye dad! Bye bye Kakashi-Sensei!"

Sakura waved with her right hand while she bounced Miyu in her left arm and hip smiling in utter bliss and love. The little Uchiha imitated her soon waving with her little left hand to us smiling kind and quite happy. With sweet voice she followed her mother suggestion.

"Bay bay dada! Bay bay Kashisei!"

I smiled wide waving to her in response and saying goodbye too while Sakura's mom stared at us smiling somehow nostalgic. Sasuke waved goodbye to her too with a soft smirk painting life in that almost frozen expression of him. For one moment he locked eyes with Sakura and I could see something going on there but I didn't know what it was. She just smiled with courtesy and then turned her back at us leaving with her mother. I glanced back by the corner of my uncovered eye to the boy next to me still somehow wondering about what I had seen but maybe I was seeing things just out of worry for the pink haired medic nin. Sasuke was calm, controlled, stoic and indifferent again, with his onyx eyes lost and his inner expression empty.

Yeah. Perhaps I was seeing things were there was unfortunately nothing to see.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

Days had passed since Sasuke-Kun's last returning and his life has been going better with it. I'm so happy that he's improving in his training with Kakashi-Sensei and that he's becoming a great asset to Konoha like he had been meant to be since he born in this land. I know he's sick and he will be till the end of his life that I pray to be far away but in his current state he's doing excellent. I wanted the best for him in every matter concerning his life. I know how important is for him to be a shinobi so I'm glad that he can have it not mattering the circumstances he could endure like how he has been daring the damn seal and the council in his attempts of recovering his limited abilities.

I had let him to come to my new home and see Miyu and take her with him whenever he wants. Sometimes I'm the one who is here waiting for him to come and pick her up and even when we don't share a lot of time I have been getting used to his nearness and presence and how it affects me deeply. I still feel the shyness, nervousness and awkwardness but I have been practicing to not show it like before and I had succeed. I act normal when he's around even just for minutes and I treat him with courtesy and good manners with my inner self melting at just observing him behind that mask of normalcy I wear. Other times mother is the one who stays waiting for him to come for Miyu and I'm glad and at peace seeing her treating him with education at least. I haven't dared to ask her how she feels and thinks about him now but I can see really acceptance and even true care for his well being in mom. Sasuke-Kun on his own way is respectful and educated with mother but in basics he acts the same way he does with any of us. On the other hand I hadn't seen father but I'm pretty sure what he might be thinking about me and my decision of letting Sasuke-Kun be a father for her granddaughter and it pains me a lot and makes me cry how the things are between us and I want him to be the grandfather he is to my little girl but I know it's useless. He doesn't even want to see me or Miyu and I accept it feeling torn and sad.

I know Sasuke-Kun really really loves Miyu. I don't have any doubt left about it anymore like I don't have it in believing that he will never love me back.

He's sweeter when he's with her even in his calm and seriousness. When he picks her up or returns her to me or mom he always gives her a kiss on her forehead as a gesture of "see you later". I had caught him looking melancholic at her with such sadness and black glance lost in a past that still haunts him. I know it even when he doesn't say anything about it. The way he looks at her is like if she was bringing back to him memories that he holds close to his heart. Kakashi-Sensei or Naruto are the ones who call me to notice me about him coming to spend time with our little girl. I know he takes her for a walk by the side of the river or to the park or to have lunch or dinner with one or more of our friends. They had told me how good he is in taking care of her and that even in his coldness and stoicism there's always a hint of softness towards Miyu. He sometimes hugs her like if he was scared of never seeing her again or lose her and his obsidian eyes show hidden worry and pain. I know why he feels like that, we all know.

He doesn't want to lose his family again.

Of course we are subjects of gossip around Konoha but Sasuke-Kun simply doesn't care or give it importance and me either. I know that our situation (having a daughter at this early age and not being married and not even being together) raises a lot of gossip and murmurs with bad intentions. But we're fine having people who cares about us and loves us. Some day they would get used to see us separated and sharing a link only for our past friendship and teamwork and Miyu like I do day after day. Because there won't be a change in it at all.

I know Sasuke-Kun doesn't feel anything for me not even after all this time and he won't feel it ever. It's sad and cruel and devastating but I have come to accept it with resignation and a heart crying and suffering in pain. Now that I have been sharing some time with him I think that probably he just slept with me due to desire and attraction. At least he was attracted to me physically enough to have sex with me in that two times and get me pregnant. I bask in that thought sad and ironic, laughing at myself having that certainty. I know it's hurtful but with it I have he security that he noticed me in some way even if it wasn't how I would have wanted. Sharing time with him and fighting myself inwardly and acting normal had gave me some strange resignation and acceptance at my unreturned love. I have him near me thanks to Miyu mainly and I wanted at least that. It's the most nearness I can get to him and I'm glad at having it in its littleness and insignificance. I have preparing myself so much that the normalcy I have found being near him makes me think that maybe my love had gone stable in some nostalgic way. I fight with myself in thinking that probably my love cannot grow more and that I'm protecting myself behind that and the worst part is that I felt terrified of knowing that some day I could get so used to this situation I had created for me to handle this deep and true feelings that I could stop loving him and then just don't love him anymore. I don't want to lose this feeling, I don't want to stop loving him and I, in my youth, fear to be like some persons who lost their love with the pass of time. I have forgiven him the hurt he caused me even when I hadn't forgotten it and I had done everything thinking mainly in my daughter's behalf and I got stronger thinking solely in that.

So I'm in the middle of my needed protection making me believe that my love will lose its power with time and useless hope and harsh reality, knowing perfectly well inside of my soul what I'm doing and the firm and rebel desire of letting this love out not mattering if he could see it or not, if he could want it or not, if I could get more hurt and knowing perfectly well inside of my heart what could mean in the end.

But just a glance at him or a thought directed towards his memory inside my mind remembers me the inevitable and I had to brace myself in my solitude thankful of having him near me and being in peace with me. And after all that's what survives in my daily struggle at the end. And I smile knowing that I won't be like that people ever because what I feel will last forever not matter what happens. Come what may.

* * *

_Naruto POV_

I had been sharing time with Sasuke like before to restore our always it seems shaking friendship and I am very happy to see him accepting it without a lot of rejection from his part. When he invites me in his silence to spend time with him and Miyu I accept delighted and moved to see him act like a father. I never had one, I only had Iruka-Sensei and I'm thrilled and nostalgic to see my best friend acting similar as my adoptive father because that means he's a good dad and he's trying. Sasuke had been accepting more invitations from me or our other friends or sensei and that makes us truly happy indeed. He was always a proclaimed loner, a somehow sort of antisocial person and introspective as a deep abyss. I know he won't be as outgoing as me or at least serious but at disposal like Neji and that it's just part of who he really is but he's a little more open to show his social skills. Sometimes I want to see the impulsive, arrogant and smirking brat I saw in him in younger years but I met his frozen present and at least I'm glad that his anger had dismissed little by little like his hate and desire of revenge. Sometimes I do wonder if losing them took away too his former way of be and just left the being that was created since he spent time with Orochimaru.

Now that I am recovered I remember fondly and quite glad how he always went to see me day after day to the hospital. He at least spent a couple of hours just to accompany me when Hina-San couldn't be there. Even with all and his persistent and mysterious silence I really enjoy his company and presence. It makes me remember old times and gives me hope for a better future. But that hope had been put in trial after what I had witnessed all these days that had passed since his last return and had created sadness and worry in me concerning my two teammates and friends. I had testified how Sakura-Chan's and Sasuke's paths go to different directions and that puts honest sorrow and intense concern in my mind and heart. They act polite to each other and I know they only are connecting thanks to the parenthood they share because of Miyu and that breaks me. Hina-San and I had discussed this very afflicted and melancholic seeing how their life is going separate ways and they're letting it to happen. Sakura-Chan due to her belief of never having his love and Sasuke due to his stupid inability to really see the love of his life in front of him. I do wonder sometimes why he hadn't showed interest to any other girl and I got to the conclusion that he probably doesn't look for that now that he has a child on his own. Hina-San told me sadly that Sasuke possibly thought in girls just to have children and a family and revive his almost extinguished clan. I think she's right and my friend doesn't even have interest in having a woman in home to take care of him. Now having Miyu with Sakura who is an excellent mother, his desire was fulfilled and he didn't have to look for a girl or wife. But will he spent his life without a woman at his side? He's still young and I cannot imagine myself without Hina-San at my side and I don't want him to be isolated and lonely the rest of his life. Just having a kid out there doesn't give you a family and a home. And I know Sasuke wants that even if he cannot accept it himself and I know that he needs it even more than the wanting.

There had been times when I'm with Sakura-Chan and Sasuke and I could swear there's something strange and unexplainable going between the two. I know that from her the love is there even hidden behind resignation, acceptance and not hope at all, but from Sasuke I cannot get a vibe about it but there's something there even if it isn't exactly love. I know that a sole feeling of any kind different from his coldness and indifference could make her utterly and completely happy. So that's why I'm not going to give up in my hope. I know there's something between the two and that if it's proven between them there's a high probability to put them together as the family they can be. I know it even when everyone says sadly and lecturing me that I am crazy and that I cannot and shouldn't meddle with their life. I know they are as worried and sorrowful for them as I am and that they don't mean to be harsh on me but they can't see why I see clearly from some spot of my inner eyes. I don't want to hurt them but I cannot go on living if I don't do something to erase the slightest tiny possibility of happiness meant for them. For as long I could sense that strange vibe between them in their normalcy and politeness, in that jade loving and contained eyes and that onyx lost and cold pools I won't give up. For as long as I could catch how sometimes Sasuke looks secretly at her with intensity and somehow confusion and how Sakura-Chan stares discrete at him with deepness and adoration I won't give up.

So that's why even against the opinion of everyone I know I had been planning something to force things between them or at least have a clue to know that I'm not actually crazy or just plainly fool for hope the impossible. Perhaps my two friends just need an opportunity to see really see what's going on between them and in their heart. The only one in who I can count is of course my beloved Hina-San who accepted to support me and help in my scheme. She warned me about the possible consequences of it like a good friend and girlfriend would do but at the end she said yes. She believes in what I can sense and see and even before me she had thought about it but didn't dare to share it with anyone thinking she could do more harm than good. So I planned to reunite Sakura-Chan and Sasuke in some place away from everyone and everything to just spend time together and see what happens from there.

In order to achieve this first I asked Hina-San to handle Sakura-Chan and get her out of Konoha and into the forest for some false pretense. I handled Sasuke but first I got sure about his free permission to leave Konoha (after what he did to the seal he can come and go easily wherever he wants) and I prepared myself to face the side effects that the Hyuuga Seal could still have on him. Gladly I saw that he just was weakened when we crossed the limits of Konoha (I had, just for precaution, asked Tsunade-Baachan to give him permission to leave the village just in case) and even when I had had a hard time convincing him to follow me (I told him that I wanted to train with his help a new and amazing technique and dared him like in old times saying that I was going to impress him so much that he would end with his jaw hitting the ground) I was hopeful and trying to conceal my nervousness for all. Sasuke could be very instinctive even in his current state to notice my somehow weird intentions and I had to be very careful to not let slip anything. I don't have idea what Hina-San could have said to Sakura-Chan to convince her to come with her to the forest. But I'm praying for everything to go fine.

Or I would end pushed through a window or beaten up.

And either possibility is very scaring right now coming from any of the two.

Everything occurred as I had expected it and I went on in my pretending in a special and perfect spot in the forest and I started to babble and presume and train and show off in front of my silent, still and serious friend. I had gotten a little tense and nervous as minutes passed and I hadn't seen Sakura-Chan appearing like Hina-San and I had planned and that caused me to be more hyperactive and fool. Sasuke was now staring at me somehow confused and annoyed like if I was some sort of freak but I didn't care and went on even doing movements from Gai-Sensei and Lee just in an unconscious way. That was when Sasuke's expression filled with a lot of annoyance and incomprehension at my strange behavior and seemed ready to go so I had to think in a new way to make him stay and be interested in me. And I went on then apologizing and saying and faking that in fact I had invited him there to talk to him about my relationship with Hina-San and how I felt inferior to her and her clan and bla, bla, bla. Of course that words held some truth inside my heart, soul and mind but in that moment I just used them to help me and I didn't gave them the credit they really had in my inner self. I even put a saddened face and hopeless and shining eyes and voice cracking and I did it so good that Sasuke soon approached me with softer look in his onyx eyes and light concern. I was glad that he still considered me his friend and was acting like that towards me but right in that moment I was more worried at the late appearance of my pink haired friend.

When I almost cried my heart out in front of him she appeared from nowhere walking thoughtful and slightly worried carrying a basket with what it seemed food and drinks. I turned quickly at her calling her and greeting her with a wide and relieved smile and she just stopped seeing us first surprised and happy and returned my salute, but then she seemed somehow tense. Her jade eyes had gone nervous when she spotted Sasuke beside me but she immediately seemed to control herself and her smile, before sincere and big, was now just considerate and educated and came to us looking completely normal.

"What are you doing here Naruto?"

She asked me somehow suspicious and surprised. I scratched my head smiling and with a roller coaster of thoughts inside my head.

"Well I came with Sasuke to train and show him a new technique, he, he. And you?"

She seemed caught off guard after my question and I wondered what Hina-San had told her.

"Well Hinata and I were going to have a picnic and talk of some things but then she got a message from her sister and it seemed and emergency so she had to go. She apologized to me and said that we could do it other time."

The way she was staring at me, somehow worried and like wanting to ask something unnerved and preoccupied me but I just nodded being the less nervous and tense I could. I noticed how she didn't try to cast a single glance to Sasuke after the nod of recognition and greeting she had given him first.

"I thought Hinata had a mission today! Oh well, he, he."

She just sighed now seeing me seriously and concerned.

"Naruto stop being so stupid and distracted! How could you be her boyfriend and not know when she's on mission or not?"

Now she was lecturing me and I got worried at thinking in her strange worry and behavior. Sasuke was staring at me too confused and suspiciously but somehow concerned still. I know, in my heart of hearts, that Hina-San and I were perfectly now and we shared everything so it was quite weird how Sakura-Chan seemed specially worried for us. Hmm... maybe all this scheme could backfire on me.

Suddenly a voice (apparently very similar to Shikamaru's voice) smacked me inwardly and an idea crossed my mind like a thunder. And speaking of which, the sky was getting darker and there were lightnings and thunders and there were gray clouds over our heads and the wind had gotten stronger suddenly. Hmm...

Shikamaru's voice smacked me again dragging me back to the present and I finally got what it could be possibly happening. It was probable that Hina-San had done the same as me to convince Sakura to stay and had used me as an excuse. That had to be. We were happy together. Even when I had other matters rounding my head concerning my relationship and love for her.

"You're right Sakura-Chan! What kind of moron boyfriend I am to not have an idea of what is my girl doing?! I'm such an idiot!"

I acted again even gesturing suffering. The two of them were staring worriedly at me and I smiled inwardly proud of my acting skill and accomplished goal. There was only one thing left to do before leaving them alone.

"Oh what an ass I am! I deserve to be punched till death! Sorry Sasuke, Sakura-Chan, but my love is at stake right now! Sorry for having to go like this!"

I directed my definitive words glancing at one and then the other and Sakura-Chan flinched after getting the real meaning of them and turned quickly surprised and shy to Sasuke who just closed his black eyes stoic. I was beyond happiness and proud thinking I had done it perfectly when I didn't count with something unexpected as the weather. After the words had left my mouth it started to rain heavily and there were thunders and lightings and my bliss and proud were gone with the first drops of the cold rain that had fallen.

"You cannot go with this rain! We have to take shelter till it finish Naruto! And Sasuke-Kun is not in shape to get ill!"

Sakura-Chan said screaming over the thundering and I just nodded disappointed and sighting upset.

_Why this happens to me? Why the things never go as I planned them? Ahh..._

"Come, I remember I saw a cave when I was coming here!"

She screamed again worried and when I had thought that probably I would not get what I had wanted today for the two I saw her extending her left hand to Sasuke-Kun really concerned and sincere while she carried the basket with the other. She didn't wait him to react or take her offering and just clutched his right hand and started running to the direction of the cave she had spoken of before and motioned me to come quickly. I nodded slightly smiling at seeing them like that and I thought that perhaps this day wasn't going to be lost like I had thought it after my failure due to the damn weather.

When we reached the cave we entered just as the rain turned worst. We were soaked and shaking and immediately I started fire to get us warm remembering Sakura-Chan's words about Sasuke knowing she was right. We stayed in silence sitting around the fire and I was sighting upset at seeing them deepened in that tension and awkwardness. Crap. I had to do something!

"There's almost lunch time. The rain it seems to go on longer. At least Hina-San had brought this."

My pink haired friend said gratefully starting at the basket in her arms and then started to unpack it taking out the contains. I send all my love in a thought to my beloved Hina-San for this and suddenly the three of us were eating again in silence staring at the entrance of the cave the falling and heavy curtain of rain. It wasn't that the atmosphere was uncomfortable at most, just that I could sense the tension and sadness in the emerald eyes of my best female friend and that pained me. I felt like if she was always asking herself, whenever she was with Sasuke, if he wasn't bothered with her presence or if he didn't want her near him more than necessary. He, on the other hand, was just like himself and without giving a lot of importance to the situation.

"Hina-San must be feeling very bad to have put this here." Sakura-Chan said somehow sad and firing blame on me while she put on the ground some sort of strange vegetable. "This isn't eatable anymore."

We continued eating and while I was seeing more and more the sorrow and hope filling her pale face whenever she casted a single secretive glance at the indifferent dark haired friend of us my mind got set in accomplish this not matter what. But how? When I suddenly saw that the damn weather was getting better and the rain submitting, panic rose inside of me and I dared myself to not let go this golden opportunity. I saw her preparing everything to go back to the village and I took a resolution. I knew it was going to hurt but my friends needed it, they needed a sacrifice from my part. Sasuke had taken out from his belt the bottle that contained his pills for the control of his hallucinations and he was checking the hour. Sakura-Chan seemed to understand.

"Let's go Naruto. Sasuke needs to take his pills and it will be better if he's in home. He had to sleep after taking them."

But I had taken my choice by then and I just nodded chewing that stuff in my mouth. She stared at me first surprised and confused and then with opened wide eyes, shocked and horrified.

"Naruto! You ate that thing you shouldn't you idiot!"

"Wh... what?!"

I asked innocent after eating the whole stuff. She almost hit me worried for me and lecturing me like a mother does it.

"I told you that that wasn't for eating fool! You'll have an stomachache!"

Sasuke was now putting attention to us concerned and serious and rolling his eyes at my stupid action. Sakura-Chan didn't have to be a medic nin to give her diagnose anyway and I started to feel very sick and I started to shiver and couldn't even get up. I wasn't dying but I felt bad. But I pretend the first, of course due to the final purpose of all this mad plan.

_Forgive me Sakura-Chan, Sasuke... but this is for you... damn it, I shouldn't have let Hanabi-San to help us in this crazy plan..._

* * *

_Sakura POV_

Naruto was very sick in question of minutes and even when it wasn't raining as hard as before I didn't dare to suggest again to return to the village. He was shivering and was pale and had a slight fever and seemed unable to stand up or move without screaming in pain. I was so damn confused and petrified at his different symptoms that I started to wonder if the thing he had eaten wasn't some sort of complicated poison but it seemed impossible. Hinata would never want to poison him! She loved him! But why she put that thing there?... Then I remembered that she had told me that her little sister was going to have a picnic too with some friends and that they were going to train too and she had prepared something special for the occasion as a weapon. So it was probably that Hinata had gotten confused at the two baskets and took the one that belonged to Hanabi instead.

I sighed deeply worried and in full medic nic disguise now attending my fallen friend with a still Sasuke-Kun at my side. He was so quiet and out of my way that I forgot about him for some minutes being deeply concerned for Naruto's health. I knew he was preoccupied for our blond and noisy friend too in his muteness and when the rain again turned heavy and the thunders and lightings appeared crossing the gray sky, I had finally soothed the blue eyed friend of mine with my healing chakra and he was now resting and sleeping calmer and looking a little better. I had been completely attentive and observant at him for almost an hour but now having calming him I had to admit that I had to attend the other person there in that cave. I sighed saddened but glad at having this moment with Sasuke-Kun again and left Naruto's side and his recovering and sat down beside the father of my child at the entrance of the cave staring worried and kindly at him.

"He seems to be better now. Just him eats something without noticing what it is."

I smiled sincerely and he slightly chuckled a little amused by my words. Then there was silence again. And there was the normal calm I had been finding being with him like this and the common and less intense shyness, awkwardness and nervousness, just enough to make me feel inwardly quiver and break for him but not enough to show myself weakened to him. After sharing silence for long minutes and gazes fixed in the outside and the rain, I spun at him concerned at serious.

"Sasuke-Kun, you need to take your pills. Now that Naruto is sick and sleeping you should take them and rest too. I'll keep watching till you wake up and he gets better."

He turned at me cold and calm and I just nodded swept by the power that beautiful eyes have on me always. I smiled honestly proud and decisive motioning him to do what I was saying. While he opened the bottle and took the pills I got him water and saw him glad that he had obeyed me without a question. Inwardly I saddened thinking how important it was for him to follow his treatment if he had so easily accepted my suggestion. He leaned back on the ground of the cave and I saw him going sleepy by the pills, as the side effect they had on him. They made him sleep for a couple of hours after taking them. I kept watching Naruto even knowing he didn't need it just because I didn't let myself to stay just staring like hypnotized at the still silhouette of Sasuke-Kun lying in front of me. He was somehow glazing at me and at the same time not with his tired eyes still opened and that thoughtfulness and seriousness that goes so naturally with him. I was sitting across him delighting and basking in every single thing of his being and his attire.

"Miyu has been very happy these days. Thank you." I blurted out just in spite of not letting silence again to swallow us and let me fixed in his presence. He was listening to me. "I had wanted to tell you something since your return but I had been kind of forgetting it. Sasuke-Kun, I want you to remove me from your Last Will and the benefits of the Uchiha's heritage and possessions." I told him pleading and honest staring straight at him feeling uneasy at the feeling the talk provoked in me. "Just Miyu has the right to that. So please, can you do it? Can you arrange it and do the change?"

He was just looking intensely at me with coldness and somehow I knew he wasn't going to change anything at all of what I had asked. But I wasn't going to drop it now and I approached him feeling bolder and with determination and pleading and confused eyes. He saw me coming over and narrowed his eyes in such a way that I stopped my approaching flinching from the deep look in his eyes. A look that envisioned the hard and clear rejection towards me and my nearness, a look that hurt me like a sword going through my throbbing heart and that had saddened me to the point of filling my eyes with unshed and controlled tears. The pain and hurt were so deep inside my soul that almost made me lose control over myself and the situation. The reality struck me in the face clutching my throat and gripping my heart for seconds that seemed minutes.

_He doesn't want me near him. He doesn't want me close to him. I'm just the mother of his daughter. Nothing more. I'm not even a dear friend or a needed companion._

And that almost destroyed me in front of him and I wanted to burst into tears but I collected myself from the pieces shattered inside of me and I just smiled with sorrow and melancholy.

"You're not going to do it, right?" I didn't receive any kind of reaction meaning a response. "Sorry for bothering you."

I smiled again widely and faking and doing a great effort to not cry in front of him. I retrieved to my former spot and his face relaxed and his gaze averted to another point of the space and I found myself again in love with him. I love him so much even if he had acted like that with me just minutes before. I love him damn it! And I can't get rid off that love... I cannot stop myself from loving him not matter how cold and rejective he's towards me. Not mattering anything, not even the damage he had inflicted in me since Miyu' conception and even before. Am I so stupid or so addicted to pain so much that I'm trapped in this damned and unreturned love? What can I think of someone as me who goes on loving the person who doesn't give a damn about it or doesn't think or feel anything about it? What can I say to myself? What can I do for myself? How I conceal and contain this immense and pure love that it's eating me alive from inside?

_Don't cry fool... don't cry... you know it since the beginning, stop hoping and believing, you have started to find resignation and acceptance! Go back to that before he could crush you again! Before you end more hurt and pained..._

Yes, that was right. I blinked my tears away trying to not fix my green and crystal stare with him and I knew that I had to go on in my own path without expecting and waiting to share it with him ever. That was the true, always. I sensed that he started to fall sleep finally and then after long minutes of not wanting still to meet his pale face and black hair I heard his breathing submitted at the rhythm of the deep sleep. I turned then to him smiling sadly at seeing him lying so peaceful and some tears came down my cheeks without my permission but immediately I dried them away and blinked the rest from my hurt eyes breathing deeply. I wasn't going to cry.

Knowing that he was slept I approached him carefully and in silence till I was close to his sleeping figure. He was lying on his back and I gazed adoringly and nostalgic at his face. My eyes ended again like some times before in those lips of him that brought me back loved memories inside my head. I had wanted to touch them, to kiss them so badly in that times and I hadn't done it till now. I smirked thinking that probably this was going to be the last time I could have to dare to take that damn kiss I wanted so bad since long ago and I had to take the chance before it slipped before my eyes. I dared to lie my right hand on his left cheek and caressed it with softness and delicacy fearing to wake him up even when I know that the pills were very strong. I let my fingers to cover up all his face and jet black bluish hair with loving and slow pace while I rejoiced in every detail I couldn't forget from it. Finally and still smiling a little and sadly, I touched his lips with my fingertips while I leaned forward slowly.

"I love you Sasuke-Kun. I cannot deny it. I love you so much...!"

My lower and soft and pained voice cracked and I just go silent and leaned over him till my lips caressed his first and then touched them softly and caring, kissing him sweetly and being some sort of caste kiss. I marveled at the feeling that the kiss stirred in me, from my heart exploding like a tide and I trapped in the wave of my love pouring itself in that robbed kiss, dared to deepened it now in a surrendered and passionate kiss that tasted those wanted lips over and over forgetting for a moment everything and specially what could had happened if he woke up suddenly. But now it didn't matter anything and I kept kissing him without stopping and realizing in the back of my mind that this kiss was going to be the last thing probably that I would have from him and then I felt the tears again running through my face and the shaking of the restrained cries and feelings and that was what it made me to stop and stand up suddenly retreating my eager lips from his.

I was slightly shaking and sobbing quietly and I had been scared of crying out my heart over him and wake him up. I controlled myself breathing hard and deep and saw that it wasn't raining anymore. I glanced back at his lying and sleeping figure smiling happily sad and sincere and with glassy green eyes. I touched my fervent lips still feeling the warm of that stolen kiss and I closed my eyes calmer before going out the cave.

* * *

This was the moment when everyone could have been lecturing the blond and cheerful shinobi for meddling with his friends' life. And he knew it and almost felt like crap seeing his pink haired friend going out the cave after that private moment he had witnessed. But _almost _was the key word when he from his spot and being discrete in his observance saw his dark haired friend opening his black and sleepy eyes and averted them to the still silhouette of the mother of his child outside the cave. He had risen his right hand to his lips and had laid his fingers over them while his stare became softer and somehow intense.

And then again, _almost _was the key word when he saw the dark haired boy lying on his left side and facing the cave's wall with meditative and melancholic gaze till the sleep won over him again.

And the blond haired witness watched that and smiled in spite of the pain he physically was feeling right now.

* * *

_Hinata POV_

I had been worried for Naruto-Kun. We had planned to meet each other after leaving Sakura and Sasuke in the forest but he never appeared and then it was raining hard and I was more concerned. Probably he couldn't get out from the situation like he had planned and I sighed fearing the consequences of all this scheme we plan.

I had been worried for Naruto-Kun till hours later, almost at the sunset, he appeared with our two friends who were carrying him. I could have immediately gone nuts from worry and shock but Naruto just smiled secretive and coquettish at me and by the look in his blue and perfect eyes I knew he was telling me to not worry. So I followed his act with mine feeling slightly guilty at the deeply concern Sakura and Sasuke were showing for him and accompanied the three to the hospital. Naruto-Kun entered wailing and howling in fake pretense (observing him for so many years I had come to know him and know more being his girlfriend) and Tsunade and Shizune soon took him in their hands to attend him and heal him after Sakura explained what had happened. The notice of him being poisoned run quickly in the village and all our friends appeared there asking about his state. Some of them had heard that he was dying. I was so ashamed and feeling guilty for all this but I have to take this to the end supporting him. They came to me reassuring me that he was going to be fine and held me and I felt shocked and worst. But my gaze was mainly fixed in the parents of Miyu who were sitting on a pair of chairs outside the room the Hokage and her assistant had taken him and they were pretty close and calm with the other. Sakura was explaining to Ino about Naruto's poisoning.

"I don't know why I couldn't heal him properly! He has very weird symptoms! He even was hallucinating and calling for Hinata! Oh God let him be fine! Damn! I still need training and practice and improving!"

She was very tense and worried and serious and really alarmed. I saw her even grabbing Sasuke's right hand without noticing what she was doing just for instinct and support. But even when that had surprised me it didn't match the amaze I felt at not seeing Sasuke rejecting her gesture. He was kind of listening her attentive but with his black gaze fixed in the wall in front of them. All of our other friends noticed the nearness and gesture between the both but didn't say anything about it being shocked, surprised and moved.

Our attention was now pulled out at the vision of the door opening and Tsunade-Sama and Shizune going out with Naruto lying in a stretcher and covered by a white sheet that was moving thanks to the two skilled medic nins. We all reacted and approached them but I was the one, being the girlfriend, who got closer and took his hand smiling sweetly and touching at him and his still acting. Sakura and Sasuke had gotten up too and she had left go of his hand reddened and sad saying sorry to him who didn't react at all at her apology.

"He'll be fine. We're going to take him to his room."

The blond Hokage said somehow amused and with a eyebrow twitching. Shizune was relieved and somehow surprised. Sakura looked worried at him feeling guilty.

"Thanks to heaven! Naruto, how you're feeling?

"Better... Sakura-Chan... don't worry..."

I tried to control my amaze at how good Naruto-Kun was acting. And I couldn't help to feel bad at seeing our pink haired medic nin so concerned. My blue eyed boyfriend glanced grateful and like a partner in crime at me making me to smile shyly.

"What happened Naruto?"

Kiba asked still pale. I gulped knowing I was the one who had to explain (or more precisely, lie about it).

"I didn't notice that Hanabi had prepared another basket for her and I took it. She had put some sort of special vegetable there and Naruto-Kun ate it for mistake. She says sorry by the way."

I told Naruto-Kun feeling blame sincerely but I caught him feeling guilty and I got confused at it.

"Sakura, Sasuke, you two have to go home and rest. You were under the rain too like this fool and I don't want you to fall sick for it. Either of you. It's an order."

Tsunade-Sama said seriously and the two of them nodded still concerned by their friend's state. He just gestured them to go smiling widely. Sakura just casted a last glad smile to Naruto-Kun at seeing him better and recovering and Sasuke just looked at him straight for some seconds intensely like trying to read his mind. He had a fierce looking and I saw Naruto-Kun holding it somehow tense and nervous but smiling sincere and open and I wondered if he had discovered everything while I was holding my uneven breathing nervous too. Finally he turned around just nodding at him and the Hokage and when all of us thought that he was going to go before Sakura who was now lost in thought and sorrow behind a kind face he did something that surprised and shocked us immensely.

He extended his right hand to Sakura in a peaceful and comforting offer indicating her that he was going to walk her home.

Our green eyed friend stared widely petrified and unbelieving at his open gesture and it took her only seconds till she reacted with a glimmer in her eyes and a sad and grateful smile and took his hand in response holding it softly and shy.

They then left and Sakura waved goodbye at us without force left, due to the impact of that gesture, to talk. I saw them walking to the exit, he ahead of her pulling softly her by their entangled hands and she just following him. Tsunade-Sama sighed tired and amused at Naruto.

"Can you explain me why you faked symptoms? You only had a simple stomachache. But you displayed marvelously a tirade of symptoms that weren't suppose to go together. You really scared them and all of us, young fool man."

Before he could answer somehow nervous at the demanding face of our talented Hokage I understand everything he had done in spite even himself for his two friends and I found myself falling in love deeply and truly with him again. In all this day I had had an idea of what he was doing to help them and got them nearer but I had received the information little by little. Piece by piece. And it was till now that I had the big picture in front of my eyes and sinking in my head. I smiled touched and proud, sweetly with crystal eyes at knowing what kind of boyfriend I had and how true was his heart and I leaned forward and kissed him deeply and affectionately showering all my love in it. I heard them gasping at my sudden behavior, shocked and surprised again but I didn't care till I had finished kissing Naruto-Kun's first paralyzed and then submitted lips. It was the first time we kissed in that way and it didn't matter that it had happened with so many people watching us. I recovered my posture smiling sweet and loving at him with red cheeks and he was staring somehow confused, blushed and marveled at me with adoring eyes.

"You're a great friend."

I said with shining eyes and he just smiled at me still blushed.

"It was worth it. Do you see it?"

"I did. I'm proud."

I nodded loving at him clutching his hand between mine. Then I explained what we had planned for Sakura and Sasuke still a little guilty but glad for the results and all of them, after lecturing us for our meddling, seemed quite glad in fact. Naruto-Kun spoke then serious and meditative.

"I know that probably nothing will change now but some day I hope to see it. There's hope still. I believe it. I want to believe it. Even if they go separate ways... I know."

No one dared to said otherwise even thinking that the hope was very little and fragile. I know it because I saw it in their looks saddened and worried. Anyway, Naruto-Kun looked suspiciously at me.

"How did you convince Sakura-Chan to go with you?"

"I invited her to a picnic saying that I wanted to talk with her about you. I told her that you were acting different with me. Just a little lie."

I smiled guilty and pleading forgiveness with my pearl eyes. He just snorted amused.

"I ended with a story similar when mine failed. I almost cry. I think I freaked out Sasuke."

It was my turn to giggle amused. He suddenly got serious and guilty.

"I asked Hanabi for help in case everything failed... she told me that she would put the last resort in the basket. I never knew what it was. He, he. Smart little sister you have and I will get a brilliant sister in law."

I nodded caressing his blond hair enchanted by his voice and eyes. Then we knew everyone was staring strangely at us and we got redder and they started to mock us and pick on us. Still we laughed while Tsunade-Sama gestured Naruto to get up and slapped playfully him on the back laughing.


	19. Burning

**I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! TO ALL OF YOU WHO ARE STILL THERE THANK YOU AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU AROUND STILL. I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO ANSWER TO THE LAST REVIEWS BUT NEXT TIME I'LL DO IT AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE TO READ YOUR OPINION ON THIS STORY.**

**READ MY PROFILE FOR AN EXPLANATION OF MY DELAY.**

**CHAPTER 19 IS MORE LIKE A TRANSITION CHAPTER IN WHICH I WANTED TO PUT HOW SAKURA'S HEART WAS AT THIS MOMENT AND HOW THINGS WERE GOING ON WITH SASUKE. WHAT HAPPENS HERE WILL CAUSE SOMETHING BIG AND NEW THINGS WILL COME AROUND SO I HOPE YOU'RE STILL THERE TO FIND OUT.**

**SPECIAL NOTE: TO CHIPSET I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR OFFER IS STILL THERE SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS YOU TOLD ME IN YOUR PM. LAURY_UCHIHA I READ YOUR PM THANK YOU FOR THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I TRIED TO CONNECT YOU AS A BETA READER SINCE DAYS AGO BUT YOU APPEAR LIKE PENDING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.**

**AS A SIDE NOTE IF SOME OF YOU LIKE GUNDAM 00 I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU TOLD ME HOW IS IT BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED THE FIRST SEASON AND ABOUT EPISODE 12 I THINK OF THE SECOND.**

**THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.**

**Chapter 19**

**Burning**

_Kakashi POV_

It's amazing how time goes by so quickly without you noticing it. Our little Uchiha heiress's second birthday is finally today. I'm marveled at the fact that so many long months had passed since I knew from Sakura's own lips about her unexpected pregnancy and later about Sasuke's strange sickness. It's hardly unbelievable all the things that had happened since that moment and how some things hadn't change, unfortunately and sadly, like the one we all were hoping to evolve into something else.

Sasuke and Sakura are still treating and living with the other like before and their life is so separate from the other and just connected by the undeniable fact of having a daughter together that the hope that Naruto had stated to exist against everything that day when he tried to help them in that mad plan of him had definitely died day after day and night after night since that single moment. Naruto still believes in a future where his two teammates will be together even after he hadn't done anything again and hadn't said anything related to it. All the rest of us just had accepted finally that there won't be anything between the dark haired young man and the pink haired young woman. They had to mature before due to their soon parenthood and they somehow had assumed their responsibility but that's all. There's not a single trace of interest, deep and true, in Sasuke's heart towards the mother of his child but a relationship born from the mere fact and good manners and consideration brought out from education and gratefulness and just that. He doesn't even consider her as someone special among the circle of friends and teammates he has around him and it's like she's just any of them in his mixed vision of the world. He seems to not need her specially or care more than the logical and needed. He's polite and that's the plain truth. Icily a stoically polite but polite at the end.

Sakura on the other hand had retrieved to that wall behind she hides built with acceptance, resignation and hopelessness. She had hardened so much in her feelings towards him that she fakes so incredibly when he's around that some people had started to murmur and think that she doesn't love him anymore. Of course, all of us, who are near her and know her and care truly for her, know that that's a plain lie and it is the disguise and weapon she uses to go on living without having a little hope of Sasuke returning her feelings. She loves him still and she will always and it's kind of sad and at the same time cruel how some people could find the love of their life, the desired soul mate so easily and early in their life and seemingly not be meant to spend the rest of their time sharing it with that love. I know this is Sakura's case and breaks my heart to know and see how much she tries and does to live like this. The man she loves is near her and contacts her because of their daughter but he's always unreachable like a far away and cold star in a nocturnal sky. She's polite, caring and normal whenever he's around trying to match his behavior on her own terms but we all know how much it hurts her and saddens her to not have his love.

Now it was Miyu's second birthday and this time her father was going to be there so Sakura had prepared a big party to celebrate it and we all were invited. Ino had lent her house to the occasion and we were reunited there at sunset enjoying the music, the talks, the food, the drinks and the good company. Hinata and Tenten had helped the green eyed mother and blue eyed godmother to decorate the place and they had done a wonderful job. There were balloons and lamps and a lot of other kind of decoration and the little girl was delighted in her own innocent and ignorant world with all the people there who hugged her and kissed her and gave her gifts. She was beautiful dressed in three shades of pink and looking at her Anko and I had commented how a beautiful girl she was going to be when she were older. She was a pretty little girl, so beautiful that I know that in the future she will be a girl with a lot of boys after her. She couldn't hide the fact that she was an Uchiha after all, she looked more like Sasuke than Sakura even having traces of the medic nin in her appearance. But in character she resembled a good and strange mixture of the both that had grown up with time even when she has her own personality's developing. Somehow her likeness in character is a little more similar to Sasuke's in some traits but less sulking, cold and indifferent and she has Sakura's kindness and that's a very great thing.

I sighed smiling happily while I was waiting Anko to bring me some cake looking Miyu with her grandmother opening boxes of gifts with those curious, sweet and understanding eyes she has. I was sitting on the same table as Sasuke right now and I caught him by the corner of my black eye watching content, meditative and softly at his daughter in his seriousness. There was a sad hint inside his black eyes but it was so hidden that it was impossible to know why it was there. I didn't dare to break him from his observance and just stayed in silence until Anko appeared with two plates with a big piece of cake in each one.

"I almost lost these thanks to Naruto!"

She said laughing and greeting Sasuke with an enthusiastic nod and a big smirk. She sat down and we started to eat the piece of our spongy and delicious chocolate cake (that Hinata herself had done) with the company of the father of the birthday girl who had finished eating his own and was finishing his drink. Anko and I talked and laughed about the party and the late news around the town and the people but we were always attentive in our way to Sasuke. We could tell that he was happy in his own way but I didn't quite understand why he seemed so sad too at the moment. Anko was saying that Sakura had prepared a wonderful party.

"Where's Sakura by the way?"

"I saw her inside the house, in the living room with the girls. You know, girls talk."

"Oh I know."

She chuckled at my knowing look and then suddenly Sasuke got up and he seemed to be looking for something. I chuckled before speaking wondering if I had guessed right.

"If you're looking for the bathroom there's one just by the hall at the entrance of the house."

He nodded somehow embarrassed and disgruntled and then went away slowly walking.

"What's with him? He should be smiling on this day!"

"Yeah. I think we forget under what circumstances Miyu was born. Maybe Sasuke feels somehow guilty about it."

Anko stared at me first surprised and then nodded thoughtful and nostalgic. She sighed while I ate in silence and remembered when he had taken Miyu in his arms when he first arrived at the party and had landed a sweet kiss in her forehead. He had hugged her caring and lovingly and she just smiled rejoicing in seeing him there and didn't stop in saying in her own mismatched speech that he was there truly happy. Sasuke just heard her staring softly and with a little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He had bought her a lot of stuff as gifts from clothes to toys and had stayed with her till all the guests appeared and Sakura attended them brimming in joy and nostalgia just glancing back at her daughter and her eternal unreturned love with touched expression.

"But not matter what, this day is for celebrate. And besides, he had done a great job as her dad. Even when he entered in her life as someone who didn't care about her or love her at first, now he's really devoted and committed to her."

"I do wonder what will happen when Miyu find out, older of course, about how her life began in the world. Inevitably she will find out sooner or later. She will know what her dad thought about her first and how much he hurt her mother with his words. She will know how much he rejected her at first."

After a pause she glanced concerned and meditative at me.

"Do you think Sasuke thinks in that too?"

"Yes. I could assure you just by how he looks at her sometimes. The weird thing is that I thought I saw that kind of look in him when he was with Sakura too."

Can I dare to think that Sasuke in fact felt bad thinking in that? Yes, I can. I saw the pain behind his wintered look whenever he landed his dark eyes on Miyu and I knew, yes, I perfectly knew, that he thought in that. This day was special so that pain was showed better in the deeps of his onyx pools that tried so experienced to hide it behind his common seriousness and serenity. I had caught him with the same look sometimes when he was with Sakura too, or at least I thought I saw it. I wanted to believe that I had seen it. But for Miyu is was very real when you knew him and had spent part of your life near him and trying to understand him and train him. It was a pain born from feeling like crap for something horrible you did to that person, something hurtful that only brought shame, hate and suffering for yourself. Something you dread that it could kill your connection with the person you really and purely love against all misunderstandings and bad decisions. That was the pain I saw in him besides the resignation and acceptance of knowing he had brought it to himself.

"Poor Sakura... she loves him so much and he doesn't give a damn. He doesn't even let her know what he thinks and frees her for good from her unreturned feelings. That's something he could do, you know."

Yes, Anko was right. And that was another doubt inside our minds. If Sasuke could never love Sakura back, why he didn't show it straight to let her know that she couldn't keep waiting for him and loving him? She could then have the strength and certainty to move on and find a man who can love her and care for her as she deserves. She needs to be release from that pain imprisoning her if there is not hope at all. She needs to have someone who shares her life with. She isn't going to love him as she loves Sasuke but at least she could find another kind and intensity of love and find the happiness she's worth.

And even when I truly and really desire that bliss to Sakura and Sasuke together, as a couple in love, I have to accept that it is unlikable to happen. So if they can't be happy together at least I want them to be blissful with another person sharing their life. The both deserve it. And I want what it best for the two even if it isn't what I sincerely wanted and wished to be.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Sakura POV_

"So nothing had changed at all, Sakura?"

I just could nod at Tenten with calm and sad green eyes. We were talking and sitting on the living room of Ino's house. We hadn't had times to share and talk about girl's stuff since some time ago and even when we really enjoyed going out and spending time with our male friends sometimes there were things that only can be talked or shared within us. And talking about some of our male friends was one of them. But I didn't want sincerely to talk about Sasuke-Kun with them because I knew that my mask was fragile and shattering thanks to this fateful day and our current situation. I could feel the sorrow gripping my throat tightly. I don't want to cry. Not today.

"I can't believe it! We have hope after what Naruto and Hinata did but now..."

Hinata flinched remembering that mad plan of his blond boyfriend still somehow ashamed and blushing but she just gazed kind and worried at me while Ino gestured with her hands in exasperation. I was sitting in the main couch with Tenten while my dark haired and blond friends shared the other and smaller one in front of us. My three friends were pretty serious, concerned and understanding while they were watching me. I just was sitting still and fixing my jade and sorrowful glance on the table centered in the living room with eyes lost in past memories and unforgettable feelings. I had had hope too. I had had it when he offered me his hand and held mine while we were walking through the hospital looking for the exit and then when he accompanied me part of our way home. Even when he didn't hold my hand out of the building and with reason knowing we were in public, he had been polite enough to share time and space with me. I fondly remember that day and cherished it with undying love and care deep in my heart, and I smiled in spite of my broken hope at rejoicing in how it felt his hand holding mine softly, how his adored presence felt beside me, how the silence didn't matter between us, how even when he wasn't putting all his attention to me still somehow I knew he was aware of me. It had lasted minutes, just minutes that seemed seconds to me and I had found myself falling in love with him again like a cursed fool without escape. I didn't let the awkwardness, nervousness and shyness to won over me and I, blushing inwardly, smiled just happy for that single and little gesture of recognition and kindness from him towards me, just me. I didn't put attention to the people watching us with awe and murmuring for seeing that unlikely to happen and when we reached the point where our paths differed I just said goodbye to him with a grateful and sincere smile and hardly restraining this undying love and I saw him go till my eyes couldn't distinguish anymore his beloved stance. I had wanted so bad to cling from his arm and rest my head against his shoulder.

But that was just the memory and I didn't have anymore of that kind after it.

I still wonder why he acted that way towards me that time when now we had retrieved to our politeness and courtesy way. I don't and I can't and I shouldn't push myself into him. I don't want to see his rejection towards me again like that moment in the cave and if I see it again in the deep of his black eyes I could surely die inside from pain and sadness. I fear to see him rejecting me again in any way he could do it. I prefer to be seen as something neutral in his world than something unwanted. Only that single thought hurts me and fills my eyes with unshed and unstoppable tears.

"That moron needs to have his ass kicked!"

The voice of Temari on the speakerphone startled us a first. Not seeing her in person here made us forget about her presence there even in that way. She couldn't come to Miyu's birthday and it didn't surprise me. Suna was far away and she was the older sister of the Kazekage. No one of the three sand siblings could come and go as they wished it anyway.

"She's right! What the hell is in his stone heart?!"

"After that kiss you stole from him he should be begging you girl. What else could he want in a woman? He needs only you."

I heard Ino and Tenten's words grateful for them but crushed too. Hinata just nodded sadly. How many times do I ask myself that? What else he wants from a woman? What is what I'm lacking to make him to love me and stay with me forever? Why I'm not enough? What do I need to do to have his love? But I know that if he really doesn't feel anything for me then there's nothing else to hope and wait. I cannot force myself into his heart and that's the plain truth. But there have been so damn little clues that keeps my bothering heart leaping in joy and expectation and there's where the trouble lay. If I didn't have anything to keep me daydreaming I could find a way, with a lot of effort and time, to let him go or at least I want to believe it possibly true.

"Sakura, honey, you maybe should ask him straight if he feels something for you, even the slightest thing. You cannot go on like this; this is just suffering, damn and plain suffering. Make the move girl."

I know Temari is right. And my other friends agreed with her but I cannot bring myself to do such a thing because I dread about the answer and the consequences. I curled my fists clutching my dress and the knees that are covered by it and supporting my shaking hands. I just cannot have him gone from my side for that question. I'm not strong enough to go on living without him in this sad relationship we have. The only joyful part of my life is the daughter we have and I'm so pathetic that I thank her in my devotion for the opportunity she gives me day after day and night after night to be close to him. That's how pathetic I am.

"I... can't... I just can't... I love him so much that I can hardly contain it inside of me... I love him so much that I don't have an idea of what I could do for him... I love him so much that even when all this had happened, even in spite of my resentment and pain, I cannot stop loving him, I can't..." I was clearly and honestly crying now with my body shaking from the stranded emotion and daring to fight the hurt I felt that was trying to cut my cracked voice. My friends just were silent watching me with touching and preoccupied looks and I heard Temari sighing with sadness. "I cannot stop loving him... I cannot even after he hurt me and he still does even with intention or not... even if I cannot expect anything from him besides what he could and wants to give me, I love him and I had tried, oh God how much I had tried!... in vain, just in vain to stop loving him and I cannot do it!..."

I was now bursting into tears and screaming sincere and free. I hadn't talked with anyone about how I felt with all this and now that they had given me the chance all my hidden suffering and secret pain were pouring out from my aching and broken heart like a flow of an unstoppable river. I gasped for air and when I tried to calm myself and collect me from the shattered pieces of my soul I sunk deeper in my frustration and desperation.

"I love him... I love him... and I cannot ask him that because it would kill me to hear the answer if it's not what I was waiting to hear... that's what I don't want to ask him... I don't want him to go away from me... I don't want to be away from him... I want to be near him even if it's like this... there's hope inside of me and I cannot kill it... I cannot! I love him... and these three damn words are so little to describe what I feel for him..." I was still crying and crying releasing the ache I contain and control inside of me day after day, night after night... I couldn't gaze at the faces of my friends, I was so ashamed for my suddenly and unexpected breakdown, for my behavior. I don't want any of them worrying for me, for something that's just expected and anticipated. "I had tried to focus in not feeling anything when I am near him... I try to not show what I feel for him... I try and try... trying to believe foolishly that I could succeed and believe my pretense, my lie... but that only hurts me more, just breaks me more... but it's the only thing I could do and let me go on and live... I have to pretend and lie to myself and to others to find the way of enduring this... just to be near he... and I love him so much, so much, that I breathe it... I had forgiven him and I had been trying to forget... I love him... what can I do?..."

Tenten reached me and held me tight and supportive with sad and worried face like the one each of them had in that moment. Temari was the one who spoke first after sighing sadly.

"I don't have to be there to picture in what state you are. You really love him. I never had a doubt about it but I never either had the certainty. He had hurt you so much in all this years since he left Konoha the first time."

Hearing her saying that made me remember that unforgettable and heartbreaking moment. I had tried to stop him so badly; I had tried with all my might. I could hear me inside that memory saying to him that I could have make worth his stay and not regret it and that I could have make him happy. I guess I'm still that little girl crying to his back and pleading to give me an opportunity. How sad. I'm still that little girl begging for his love, for his care. And I'm still crying for it, since then, inside and deeply in my soul and heart.

"That's right." Ino suggested softly. "Sasuke had caused you a lot of pain and you still love him. I think there's not way of escaping it. If all he had done to you hadn't worked out the miracle of stop loving him, I guess sadly and unfortunately that you won't stop loving him ever. I know I'm being cruel but"

She paused feeling bad but I, calmer thanks to Tenten's soothing embrace, nodded at my blue eyed friend.

"Don't worry Ino... I know it already... I know that probably I could find someone else to share my life with but... I won't stop loving Sasuke-Kun ever. In some way or another I'll love him, I'll quiver for his attention and I'll crave for his affection. It's just... that it hurts so much..."

I smiled with resignation and tears fell from my emerald, puffy and crystal eyes and Hinata took my trembling hands in hers reassuring me her understanding. No one said anything more for long minutes and I felt grateful at their company in my shared suffering. Little by little I was finding control over myself like always and my tears were dying inside my lost glance before forming their shape to escape rebels from my green eyes. When I found myself stronger and better I looked up and smiled softly and thankful at them.

"Sorry for lashing out this on you... I don't want to worry you or change the mood of Miyu's party. I cannot be like this in this important day for her." I remember everything that had happened since two years ago and I felt the pain clutching my battered heart again trying to break me but I breathed deeply stopping it. Two years... and nothing had changed. I'm still the little girl crying like that faraway night when he left the first time.

"Don't say that Sakura! That's what friends are for."

"Ino is right. We're here to listen any of us."

"You can count on us always."

"And break down whenever you feel it."

I nodded and thanked them smiling widely touched. I smiled at Ino, at Tenten, at Hinata and Temari. My four friends. My four talented and strong ninja friends.

"Anyway I think you should return to the party. I have to feed two brothers."

Temari said sighing tiredly with exasperation but joking at the end. Ino and Tenten laughed and Hinata and I just giggled and the atmosphere was light and cheerful again and I silently thanked for it and dried my tears immediately. Temari was right. There was a party outside and I cannot let my inner and own pain to spoil it. My little girl was 2 years old and that was all that matters now.

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_Kakashi POV_

When Sasuke returned from the bathroom I caught something different in his dark eyes just like that time when I had left him waiting for me outside the hospital sitting on that bench. He simply sat down at the table where I was still chatting and laughing with Anko and stayed lost in thought seeing Miyu playing with her grandmother and her new toys. I saw that he was very deep in his own world and he was barely putting attention to his little girl. I noticed that he was deeply thinking in that introspective and profound way he has and not being a victim of his strange illness. I was at ease for that. But I felt too worried and curious about his moment of deep meditation and drifting reverie. I heard laughs and voices talking happily and I turned my attention to Sakura and the girls who were leaving the house and returning to the party after the girl's talk Anko had talked me about. I knew that Sakura had been crying. It was plainly obvious to me who knew her for so time ago and I sighed concerned and saddened at how her emerald eyes were crystals menacing to break without warning. She was trying so hard to hide everything. But I knew too my other former student and I looked at him by the corner of my black gaze meditative and wondering. Anko, luckily for me, was now chatting with Kiba's sister who was sitting on a table next to the right. Sasuke had averted his black and cold gaze at just seeing the entrance of the mother of his child and I found myself sighing sadly at their current situation. I did wonder why he had averted his black eyes when she came to the backyard with the girls and why he seemed suddenly deep in thought with his furrowed brow and pale face staring without staring really at the ground.

Everyone in the party were quite happy and enjoying it. Anko asked me to take her to dance and when I dared to say no she threatened me with a profound glare and cute pout and I couldn't say no anymore so I got up and she took me by the hand and led me to the little crowd that was dancing already. I had to admit that I somehow liked it and enjoyed it especially when Gai taking a very surprised Kurenai joined us trying to compete like always with me. Soon there were laughs and giggles and jokes around us and we ended being the two couples dancing like in a real competition. Even the birthday girl was clapping happily her hands watching us in her proud mother's arms.

After I spun around Anko with a special movement that made our public to go in a chorus of "Wows" and put Gai burning in friendly jealousy, by casualty I faced the table were Sasuke was sitting still drifting away and something weird alarmed me immediately. His head had dropped strangely and he had started to shake with violence, without him able to control himself. His trembling was still slow and weak but it only took me seconds to let go of my Anbu friend to worsen in quicker and stronger involuntary movements. Then it was in a rapid way and with a rhythm that clutched his muscles with sharp tightness and forced him to bend down with an unbearable pain gripping him completely. He was paralyzed by it and he couldn't raise his contorted and shaking arms to brace himself, weakened in seconds of utter terror for me. I run like a mad to the table and I barely reached it when he had fallen from the chair to the ground with his face paler and cold expression and the searing pain showing clearly in his crystal black narrowed eyes.

The party fell into silence suddenly and then I heard voices and noises but I didn't put attention to any of them. Sasuke needed me while he was trembling intensely and without control over himself, tensed and pained deeply at the damn seizure's brusque demand. I caught him and I held him in my arms the tighter I could trying to steady his trembling body. I trapped his flying and frenetic arms while he was arching wildly his back with clutched tightly eyes and wincing from utter pain. For a second he crossed his pained glance with mine and I noticed how hard he had been trying to control it seeing his obsidian eyes shinning bright with unshed tears of ache and then he closed them again tightly just grabbing me wincing still by my shirt with his left brusquely curled fist. Surprisingly and strangely enough I was able to control him on my own and I noticed concerned and interested that he was somehow weak this time and that's why I had been able to just steady him myself. The last time we had been three people trying to held him and steady his trembling body. In my deeply worried mind there was just one thought running through it and I said it in silence trying to make it real to him especially when not only his nose started to bleed again. His ears were bleeding this time too.

_You'll be ok.... you'll be ok... it's just like the last time... you have received your treatment... you'll be fine... Sasuke... you'll see..._

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"He'll be fine. Give him space to breathe, please."

Shizune was saying seriously and deeply preoccupied while Tsunade was treating and checking Sasuke up with deep concentration and attention. He was still lying in Kakashi's arms and was now slightly shaking and breathing hardly and unevenly. The people had been dispatched due to the situation earlier from the party and the only ones who remained there were the close friends and family of the birthday girl. Sakura's mom had taken her to the house after Miyu started worrying seeing his father suffering like that and now the group of friends and some of their relatives were trying concerned to be around and near the sick young man. The jade eyed mother of the little Uchiha was staring intensely worried and shaking and sobbing accompanied by Ino and Naruto who were holding her reassuring. Her hands were clutched together tightly with desperation and deeply suffering at seeing him like that.

"I was expecting this. I really hoped and thought that I was going to prevent it with the treatment but I knew I was lying to myself."

Tsunade said quietly and Kakashi just nodded serious. He could see the real and profound preoccupation in the eyes of the young ninjas. Only Naruto and Shikamaru knew about it as himself and the others were shocked after witnessing that. The Hokage checked Sasuke's eyes opening them slowly like Kakashi had done the first time and unfortunately he saw the same. He was completely lost and his inner light was completely down. At least his shaking had stopped and his body had relaxed and was limp and weak in the silver haired man's arms that was still holding him.

"How long it was this time?"

Kakashi asked worried with soft voice. Tsunade just stared at him seconds dead serious and concerned before answering him. She was trying to conceal his erratic heart beatings that had gone wild with the seizure. She lay softly and carefully one of her hands over his chest that was rising rapidly and the other over his closed tightly eyes. The warm chakra from the famous specialist was working its way through the dark haired young man with quickness and utter direction.

"7 minutes. And his ears bled this time too. It seems that it had worsened instead. I'll need to do a complete check up on him again to see if I can stop it to get worse the next time. I thought that I had achieved it but I only delayed the bigger seizures and controlled the smaller ones. I was conscious that I wasn't going to heal him and that he was going to suffer for either of them sooner or later. But I was pretty sure that I had achieved the goal of stop it from evolving and it seems I had failed in that and I don't know why. I was certain that if another big seizure came, it was going to be just like the first he had when you three helped him. I wanted that at least if I cannot cure him."

The blond woman said sighing tiredly and angrily at herself. There was something weird in all this and she was feeling uneasy and worried about it. When she finished calming him completely with her healing chakra and his heart and breathing rates were inside a normal rhythm, the honey eyed Hokage looked at Kakashi and Shizune serious.

"Take him to the hospital. He needs to be under observation till he wakes up. We hope he'll wake up at the same time like the last one."

Her dark haired assistant and the famous sensei nodded serious and worried and the only living sannin helped Kakashi to get up and lift Sasuke. Then he took the unconscious young man in his arms and with Shizune disappeared leaving everyone in stress and shock. Tsunade sighed calming herself before she had to answer especially to the pink haired young woman who was staring crying at her with utter pain and demand.

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"I'm sorry for not telling you any of this before, to all of you. But especially to you, Sakura. But I was trying to protect Sasuke from unwanted eavesdropping. And sincerely I thought I could be able enough to prevent something like this to happen again."

"You should... Tsunade-Sama... you should... have told me..."

Sakura was crying sadly and that crushed sincerely the honey eyed Hokage but she just could nod at her worried. They had heard about his first seizure but she was pretty sure that nobody really understood or could begin to imagine how dangerous it was indeed.

"Don't get angry at Kakashi, Naruto or Shikamaru. They knew because they witnessed it first. They were ordered by me to not talk about Sasuke's last symptom. But right now all of you know and you have to keep it secret and make a story to the ones who witnessed it anyway. We need to protect Sasuke. If someone knows of the real dangerousness of his strange illness it could be very bad."

They all nodded still silent and shocked. Sakura was the last one who did it. She didn't want him in danger anymore; she didn't want him to suffer anymore. She wanted so bad to protect him and if the silence had been doing it, she could suck up her anger and disappointment at them for not telling her the truth about his health. She could comprehend and try to keep the secret. She just wanted to see him opening those beautiful black eyes of him even if they could only see her with coldness and indifference forever. Tsunade looked at her reassuring and Sakura nodded worried and lost in thought.

"Well I have to go now to attend him in the hospital. Last time it took him 6 hours to regain consciousness so don't grow desperate. Have patience. I'll take good care of him and I'll investigate this."

With those last words she was soon gone. Naruto was still holding Sakura's shaking frame like Ino and had a guilty and ashamed look in his blue, sad and worried eyes.

"I'm so sorry Sakura-Chan... for not telling you."

She shocked her head slowly calming herself little by little. Her maturity born from her career as a medic nin was serving her well. She couldn't let herself to fall in insignificant things when it was about someone's life. And more precisely, the life of the man she loved so much. She had grown up to be the quite talented medic nin she was now to take decisions even if they were difficult and hard to take and let others to understand. She had learned to be cold headed and controlled in the most terrible and desperate situations. She needed to rely on that now that her soul was devastated in deep concern. She needed that strength, that calm and that certainty her role as a medic nin provided her in this kind of situations. If she didn't have it... she surely would be broken into pieces crying madly on the ground.

"I understand your reasons... it just that I would have wanted to know from the start..."

Naruto nodded ashamed and silent holding his best female friend with profound worry tainting his always cheerful face. Ino was at her other side holding her too with deep preoccupation for Sakura and Sasuke too.

"You'll see that Tsunade-Sama will fix him. Don't worry Sakura."

The blond pretty Yamanaka said reassuring her firmly and all her other friends did it too with soothing words and optimistic and hopeful expressions. Only Shikamaru stayed quiet and lost in thought wondering about Sasuke's seizure. He had his brow furrowed in deep consideration of the circumstances and actions of the Hokage herself. She had looked so puzzled and intensely concerned...

"You need to rest and take Miyu home. Don't worry; we'll take care of the things here."

Ino offered sincerely kind at the pink haired young mom and she nodded absent and still tearful and consternated. She couldn't take out the image of the father of her daughter suffering in that terrible way from her mind. That image had burned its path to her aching heart and she was sure it will last forever in the deepest caves of her tormented memories.

"Ino is right. Come on, Naruto-Kun and I would walk your mom, Miyu and you home."

Hinata said looking sweetly and concerned at her friend and Sakura just nodded again without really strength left to talk. So many emotionally exhausting things had happened today in this day that it had should be so special and joyful. Miyu had been born two years ago even under hard circumstances and now... her birthday had ended in some sort of the same way. Sakura had wanted now that Sasuke and she were in good terms to really celebrate their little girl's birthday together at least for her. She had been so excited and thrilled to throw a party where he was going to be. She had expected this day to end differently and full of happiness and hope. She sincerely had wanted all the best for the man she loved so much and the daughter he had given her and was the treasure of the both.

The medic nin didn't talk in all the way back to her home accompanied by her mother, Naruto and Hinata. She was carrying a slept Miyu in her arms thinking over and over in the deeply hurt she felt crushing her heart every time she thought in Sasuke. She hadn't wanted to think seriously in his weird illness all this time, she had been trying to believe that he was fine with it and less she didn't want to even consider the idea of him getting worse or dying. It was weird to her to feel and think that and she felt like a coward when she realized now that she was only denying the fact and she didn't want to face the truth. The outcome of his strange sickness scared her to her deepest core and provoked huge terror inside of her weeping soul that she had been all these long months, with their days and weeks, believing that he was stable and fine. She didn't dare to go beyond that hopeful and foolish thought because she couldn't imagine life without him. The tears immediately invaded her green eyes whenever she thought about it so she in an unconscious way had been trying to believe that he couldn't get sick again or that his condition couldn't worsen suddenly and that the famous Godaime one fine day would cure him even when she had been always honest saying that it was impossible even for someone as talented as her. She held back a sob and the unshed tears forming in her eyes when she drifted to that horrible and painful thought. She didn't want to worry anymore the persons around her who were so sad, worried and taking care of her. When she saw Naruto by the corner of her teary jade glance and noticed his grim expression, she suddenly understood why he had wanted so desperately to help her to be in peace and contact with Sasuke. That understanding only gripped in sorrow and pained her already aching heart. And the dread born from it made the pink haired medic nin to shook inwardly desperate and suffering at the secret lines behind all that and that maybe her blue eyed friend didn't exactly know them in the real meaning. And she didn't dare to go beyond that because it could shatter in pieces all her already battered being.

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_Kakashi POV_

Sasuke woke up this time 12 hours later. All of us had been attentive to his situation but no one could match how Sakura stayed unwavering at his bed's side almost all the time. She had only gone to her house to take a bath, eat something, rest and sleep some hours and stay with Miyu who had really resent her father's suddenly disappearance seriously. The little Uchiha had kept asking her young mother for him and Sakura only could smile sad and concerned at her, showing strength and force for her daughter's sake and promised her that her father would come to see her soon. But Miyu Uchiha, being so observant and quite understanding and kind creature, nodded nodding warmly and surprising her mom told her in her own mismatched speech that Sasuke was going to be fine.

And Sakura just cried smiling sadly and touching at the dark haired little beauty that she loved with all her soul.

Sakura's mom stayed with little Miyu when she came to the hospital hours later deeply worried and sad for Sasuke's condition. I had gone to see her after leaving Sasuke hospitalized and being taken care in the experimented and talented hands of Shizune and Tsunade-Sama and went straight to her house to see her and reassured her that Sasuke was going to be fine. That's how I witnessed that beautiful and moving connection between mother and daughter. I accompanied her to the hospital but left her alone with Sasuke knowing that she wanted to be there for him and that I had to take care of myself too. Sakura had found renewed will and might inside of her in those hours waiting in home to come to see Sasuke and now was concentrated, calm and hopeful and the shock she had received seeing Sasuke going through that seizure had worn out thankfully for her own behalf. I know what she thought seeing him suffering like that. And I know she understand perfectly well the situation. She's a medic nin, a very good one, in fact a great one not for nothing. And she now understands why Naruto had done what he had done and it was that the thing that had shocked her so badly. Because now she knows what I know.

And we both know that Sasuke had a true possibility of dying thanks unfortunately to a bigger and scarier seizure that the one we had witnessed this time.

And we both didn't dare to go to that territory wanting to believe in Tsunade-Sama helping and fixing him in some maybe magical way and winning against that real possibility. We wanted to believe in that and we remain silent even between the two of us, just in spite of our faith. That's why I smiled at her when I said goodbye and left her with Sasuke in that quiet and peaceful room. My female former student had smiled back at me truly believing that everything was going to be fine and trying to be strong enough for whatever her inner self was murmuring her in suspicion and instinct.

Just like mine.

But the worst part that I didn't want to share with her was the real concern Tsunade-Sama was feeling with all this. That I kept to myself and pondered about just with the blond sannin and her dark haired assistant while they were still trying to figure out what had happened with Sasuke and his treatment. Anyway we only kept it secret to others and worry only among ourselves and I found myself remembering that old feeling I had when I had witnessed Sasuke's first seizure. And I knew sadly that I hadn't forgotten it for some unknown reason but still I prayed against it just like my strong and faithful pink haired and emerald eyed former student did deeply in her worried soul.

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Sasuke Uchiha's condition didn't recover totally in the next days and nights. There was gossiping about what had happened in Miyu's birthday about his sudden seizure and faint from the ones that had witnessed it. Naruto had told his friends about his first big seizure months ago and the smaller ones that were almost unnoticeable and they were very worried about the Sharingan's user when they finally could comprehend the real situation concerning his health. But they obeyed faithfully the Hokage's orders and when someone outside their group that had been invited to the birthday party said something about it they tried their best to pretend and lie about the true significance of it. They wanted to everyone outside them to think that Sasuke was recovering and doing fine after that terrible incident. His security and sake were on line and they did all the possible to protect him and support him while he was still hospitalized and later when he was out but his condition was weaker and unwell comparing it to his previous state before Miyu's party. Tsunade gave him free days from trainings and missions to recover in the peace of his little room beside the one belonging to the silver haired former sensei of him and that didn't raise a lot of suspicion or doubts after Tsunade said that she wanted him fully recovered and had lied saying that he had hurt his right leg thanks to the fall caused by the extreme seizure and that explanation filled everyone's curiosity about his absence.

Sasuke was seemingly recovering slowly and even when he was weaker than other times he could live on his own and take care of himself. Tsunade kept him still under test and on check in case there was something odd going on with his health and Kakashi always went to see him when he had time before or after a mission. All the ones who knew about his actual state thought that he was recovering and that some day soon he would be like before the famous party but neither the blond Hokage or the silver haired sensei believed it in their shared and preoccupied silence and hiding from others to know, even if that other were the best friend or the mother of the child of the sick one. They didn't see total recovery to his previous state after seeing him paler and weaker day after day.

So when he came to Sakura's place at last after days and nights resting on bed, she felt truly happy and relieved at seeing him at her door by his own feet and alone without the assistance of someone. He hadn't come to see or pick his little girl up till this week and the pink haired knew how much Miyu was waiting for him. She had been asking her all morning about the hour when he would appear and Sakura just smiled and giggled sweetly at her innocence. Inwardly she wondered if the little dark haired beauty understood in her own way that her father was pretty sick. She wondered saddened what feelings that knowledge caused in her daughter's pure heart.

She was in the kitchen and Miyu in her own bedroom when Sasuke arrived and she let him in polite and normal as she always acted towards him just keeping to her strained inner self her deep worry for him. When the minutes passed and she was just talking about common stuff before going for their child she noticed first the little changes in him and then when she finally figured out what was happening it was too late to prevent it and she could only caught him in his fall after he collapsed due to his sudden migraine that brought him unbearable and stinging pain and made her felt so frustrated, afflicted and concerned, with her soul and heart aching terribly for not being able to heal him in any possible way. So she just stayed sitting some minutes with him in her arms lying unconscious on the clean kitchen's floor embracing his limp body and caressing his slightly pained face with teary, worried and terrified jade eyes looking hopefully his chest raising slowly with a harsh breathing and she told herself that he would be fine sooner or later and she would be so grateful to be just there to see it.

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_Sakura POV_

"What happened Sakura?"

Shizune asked serious and worried standing still at my door. I went straight to my biggest preoccupation serious, pained and concerned. She entered closing the door behind her back glancing kindly at me.

"Sasuke fainted because of his migraine."

I said simply with a voice that I didn't let to break due to my true and hurtful desire of cry. I was trying to be calm and receptive even if my heart was demanding me otherwise in its suffering's howling. Since Miyu's birthday Sasuke's health had been going down little by little, so unexpectedly and shocking that I had found myself worrying with the slightest symptom he showed even when I had heard about it or saw it before. I was so alarmed since I had seen that terrible seizure he had painfully experienced that now I react at any sign that could mean he doesn't feel well or something bad is going on inside his body or mind. I know I cannot do it all time because after all, I don't live with him and I'm nothing to him. Nothing more than the mother of his child. But when he's here to see or pick up Miyu and I had the chance and opportunity to share space and time with him, I can't help to be attentive at every single detail of his person, worrying inwardly when I thought in that darkness that engulfs me when I remember clearly in what real condition he is.

"Like other times?"

The Hokage's best friend questioned the Haruno quickly going through her medical equipment she had brought with her. Sakura was looking at her serious and focused with glassy jade eyes full of determination.

"Yes. He came to pick Miyu up and he suddenly fell ill. He seemed fine first so I didn't expect it to happen. Mother couldn't come today so I guess he was lucky I was here. I did what I could to make him feel comfortable. But I haven't checked his medic file... so"

I paused feeling bad for not having information about his sickness. Till now I had decided to let that to Shizune and Tsunade-Sama to take care of it since I retrieved myself from his life mostly. We were nothing more than two parents of the same little girl but we weren't friends or companions so I had thought I didn't have a right to meddle in his life. My brown haired friend nodded staring sadly at me.

"I understand. I'll leave this copy of his file with you in case you want to see it." I looked surprised and somehow ashamed at her but she was just smiling kindly. Was I so easy to read? "You're a medic nin after all and you're the mother of his child so you must know about his condition."

She extended to me the yellow file still looking kindly at me and I just doubted a second before taking it firmly in my hands. I knew what this act of mine really mean to me. Maybe Shizune couldn't see it or imagine it, but for me it was clear that with taking his medic file I had taken the decision to care enough about him to try to be there for him. I knew that after taking the papers and later reading them, I would be inevitable bond to again fall for him and truly care and greatly love him and try to be near to help him in every way I could. I was leaving my somehow far away spot where I had been longing these days since he returned to Konoha for the last time, I was abandoning the spot where I look sorrowful at his separate life from mine built with normalcy and politeness and resignation and acceptance. I was moving from that spot to get close to him even if I knew that I would be hurt for my unreturned and hopeless love. But I didn't care because all I wanted was to help him and heal him and I loved him so much that I couldn't careless what could happen to me if my sudden and annoying presence bothered him again.

"It was lucky that you didn't have to go to work today Sakura."

Shizune said while she followed me on the hall to my bedroom. I was clutching the file so drifting in space and lost in thought that I didn't know how I started to walk. I just nodded with a simple smile.

"Yes. I'm very happy to return to Konoha's main hospital again. Working in the clinic was a great experience but I missed there. And I missed working with Tsunade-Sama, Ino and you."

"We missed you too. Thank God you could stay with Sasuke now. We have a lot of work there thanks to a misunderstanding between two villages that it's better for him to stay here with you at least today till he feels better. Naruto said that he'll come later at sunset to pick him up and take him to his home. You just need to take care of him the rest of the afternoon."

I nodded and I was going to open the door of my bedroom when Shizune asked me something concerned and serious.

"Are you ok taking care of him? I can arrange something in the hospital for him if you want."

I denied it with a gentle shock of my head and my smiling gratefully face after turning to her. Shizune just smiled understanding before hearing me speaking.

"It's ok. As you said I'm a capable medic nin and I can take care of him some hours till he gets better. In fact I want him here instead of a hospital, near Miyu." I didn't dare to say out loud _and near me_. I have to control myself to not make him to avoid me or reject me, not now that he's so sick and weak. "So it's ok."

I smiled hiding my sadness at my real wish and she just nodded sweetly. I opened slowly the door and the darkness almost blinded us if it wasn't for a small lamp that was lighted up next to the bed. I knew that with his migraine he couldn't tolerate light and noise like a normal person would do. I had left Miyu sleeping after rocking her and telling her sadly and smiling feeling bad that her father couldn't see her right now. My daughter seemed to understand the affliction that flowed through me because she fell sleep soon and didn't give me any problem at all. She was such a bright girl that I always wondered if she wasn't a genius like Shikamaru was. Shizune immediately went to the bed and started checking him quite experienced in the matter. I didn't get surprised anymore, after all she had treated and taken care of him before in a similar episode months ago. I was just staring worriedly and tearful breathing deeply seeing him shaking slightly on my bed thanks to a light fever and with a barely visible wince of pain in his furrowed brow. He had his dark and beautiful eyes half opened and seemed to be lost in space staring at an invisible point in the ceiling while the Hokage's assistant treated him with her talented and powerful medical tools and chakra.

And I gripped tighter the yellow file against my chest furrowing my brow in seriousness and determination while my mind went back to that day he had woken up in the hospital after his powerful and dangerous seizure and I had felt my heart brimming in relief and hope after all that long hours of waiting by his bed and that unconsciousness that had taken him in its dangerous darkness.

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_Sakura POV_

"_Hey, you finally wake up!"_

_I smiled warmly and happily with my hardly contained eyes brimming in controlled tears facing his really pale face. He had slowly flickered open his dark and blurry eyes just seconds ago and my heart had leaped in joy and relief. Every hard hour spent at his side worrying myself to death was worth just being there when he finally regained his consciousness. He had been out 12 hours and I knew that was a long time to be unconscious in his case. When I felt my heart grabbed by the intense preoccupation I shrugged it smiling at him again and without taking my hand off of his left one lying still on the mattress._

"_You made us worry really! We were going nuts because of you, Sasuke-Kun. We're glad you're back."_

_I sincerely said looking lovingly at him but trying to conceal it at the same time. I was talking in a cheerful tone because that prevented me to hug him desperately and face the chance of the future I dreaded terribly for his behalf. He was slowly blinking still numb from the side effects of the hard seizure and medicines and I could see by his confused expression that he was trying to focus his sight and figure out what had happened._

"_Shh... calm down. Everything is fine now."_

_I said calmer but still concerned and kind. I was trying so hard to not let this love out from my aching chest through my damn jade eyes. I retrieved myself to my part as a medic nin and I got serious when he finally locked his foggy dark glance on me with that freezing serenity of his. I let go of his hand slowly trying to not show him how much I wanted to stay holding it forever and I looked relieved at him controlling myself with the major might I could gather right then. I didn't want to give him a reason to repel me, to avoid me or get angry at me. I couldn't bear that thought now that I knew that he was so sick. _

"_You had a seizure. A big one. You were unconscious for 12 hours."_

_I said calm and serious staring at him with my medic nin's look. Sasuke-Kun closed his tired eyes and then gazed at the ceiling stopping his intense observation over me. He was so pale... he seemed so exhausted. I couldn't say anything for long minutes filling my soul with his lying being and quiet presence and hearing the machines that were checking constantly his pulse and breathing. I got sad after thinking that perhaps he was bothered with my presence there so I sighed melancholic but smiling knowingly and inwardly. He was like that anyway. He didn't like others prying over him when he was either fine or sick. That wasn't exactly just directed to me specifically. But it still hurt to not be the person to change that in him. I ached seeing him so separate from people in general. My heart died every time I imagine him lonely in his mixed reality and dealing with it in his silence and the almost loss of showing pain and emotions. I saw him dozing into sleep again and blinking slowly with a very slight wince showed in his pale forehead. I narrowed my eyes worried and pained and wishing truly to take out that from him._

"_You'll recover, you'll see. I wanted to see you awake. Miyu had been asking for you and now I can tell her that you'll be fine and you'll visit her soon." I smiled sweetly and concerned and got up. My dark haired Uchiha turned slowly his glossy black pools facing me again with freezing calm and intensity that burned a path through my heart like always. "Try to sleep, Sasuke-Kun. You need it. I'll see you later, ok?"_

_I smiled widely trying to get rid of my stinging tears and restrained pain throbbing in my heart and I waited till he closed his eyes again and his slow and peaceful breathing showed me that he had fallen sleep in fact. Some rebel tears run through my face but I didn't put attention to it and I leaned down and kissed his right cheek softly and lovingly closing my watering eyes just a second. Some loose and silky strands of his black bluish hair were there falling over his pale face and I caressed them carefully smiling sad before going to the door to leave. I just wanted to see him open his eyes, just that even if he didn't care about me being with him there. I had gotten what I had wished and I felt really relieved and hopeful for his recovering, knowing that Tsunade-Sama wasn't going to stop till she could get him better again. And I was going to be there to help her even behind the scenes, even if he didn't notice me there. _

_I just wanted him to be like before, and I'm not talking about when he was completely healthy, not, because I know I would be just lying to myself and waiting for something impossible. I just want him like the last days before Miyu's birthday and I hope and wish for his almost total and possible recovery some day. _

_So I glanced back just one last time before closing the door at my back and I smiled kindly seeing him serene and resting at least._

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_Sakura POV_

"Hey there, how you're feeling?"

I asked him sitting on the mattress beside his still and relaxed body. Shizune had gone hours ago immediately after treating him. Like she had said, there was a big fuss in the hospital and they needed her there. She had only told me that he was going to be fine in some hours and that I only needed to check on him when he regained consciousness to see if he was capable of going home. I had spent that long hours in the silence of my small and comfortable department thinking and worrying about him to death while I tried to distract myself doing the house chores I had to do anyway. When I had done that I finally read his medic file in calm and meditation and I had ended like I unfortunately had predicted: concerned, hurting and crying. There was no chance at all for him to recover totally some far away day, that was plenty clear and that was so hard and crushing to read from Tsunade-Sensei herself. She was the best medic nin existing in the world and she had accepted that she couldn't do anything more to heal completely Sasuke-Kun. That had killed any slight hope or chance of his recovery and I had to take time and space to get resignation with the simple and understandable diagnose she had written there. I had had hope, maybe childish and innocent hope, for his utter healing and now I had the proof in my hands that I was dreaming and waiting for something that it will never happen. Some small part of me, the negative and probably realistic one, had been telling me in murmurs that diagnose but I had tried so hard to not accept it and not find resignation at it. That was why I cried and cried till I cannot shed tears anymore sitting in the kitchen and throwing my heart out with every painful tear and desperate sob. When I found serenity and I let all my sorrow out of my pained soul I thought then that I couldn't keep myself depressed about it. I couldn't let that knowledge to blind me in the darkness of frustration, desperation and sadness. Sasuke-Kun needed me even if he didn't want it, I was the mother of his daughter and I love him so much, so much, that I don't care if I'm only that to him. Yes, I knew now that he won't heal ever and he won't be the same Sasuke Uchiha he was time ago. I knew it now. I knew how bad his true condition was and I knew that he needed care that he would never ask. I knew I would see him suffering like this sooner or later and that seeing him going through that will destroy me in sincere and aching pain and the frustration of not being of any useful help to him. But I knew too that he wasn't in fact dying and that if he was treated and taken care of, my Sasuke-Kun could live almost normally and be the great shinobi he always wanted and the father of Miyu like he had been trying to be these late days. When I realized that, I stopped my grief and tormenting and I focused my will and might in helping him to regain his former health and strength and I dismissed the idea of losing him forever knowing that it wasn't exactly the only outcome of this. I pushed aside all the feelings I could still be nurturing inside of me concerning what he had done and said to me in our troubled past just in spite of giving him my total support and care. I had little time to get resolution now that he was sleeping in my own bed and my own room and my own department and his medic file had opened my eyes and had forced me to take decisions about him, about me, about our little child and about everything. I had been expecting unfortunately this even if I had fought against it in my fragile ingenuity so I could now start to work with the reality I was facing without doubts and useless hopes.

He was alive now and that was what mattered and I wanted to be someone in who he could depend and trust even if he could only saw me as his nurse or medic nin. He's alive now. And I had him with me now, here, in my home, in my room, I have him close to me thanks to our link as the parents of my little girl and I was content and glad at least with that.

His slight and weak movements took me out of my reverie and I just softly smiled with deep and hidden concern fogging my troubled mind. He fixed his dark orbs on me with tiredness.

"Naruto will come to pick you up later. I'll bring you some food before he arrives. You're still a little lost to get up anyway."

Sasuke-Kun was just staring coldly at me with an intensity that burned my heart but I pretended otherwise. I cannot let him know how much he affects me now, I cannot be an annoyance and I cannot bother him with my incessant presence and showering of love, even if I'm dying inside just for the chance to hold him and kiss him. That's why I got up and left the room without glancing back and I went to the kitchen to prepare him something light for dinner. While I was doing it I found amusing how I've never had done something like this before especially for him. Sadly and inwardly I smiled imaging myself as his wife just taking care of him. _What a blissful thinking_, I said to myself picking the tray with all the stuff I had cooked for him and I returned to my room and I stopped when I heard giggles inside of it. I peeped inside through the half opened door and I saw him sitting on my bed watching softly and caring at a kind and observant Miyu who was sitting across him and saying something still not understandable in her own mismatched speech. Some words I could get easily but others not and I smiled happily seeing that scene in silence and thoughtfulness. Sasuke-Kun was so calm and relaxed, with a soft expression and true love and attention at the little dark haired girl in front of him that was gesturing and babbling sweetly and curious. The usual indifference and coldness, emptiness and tiredness, were really gone from his pale face and an amusing smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. I had witnessed previously in the hospital how good her presence was to him.

And seeing him like that only for minutes filled me with utter and blessing happiness and stinging pain knowing what I know now. I dismissed that awful thought shocking my head.

"Miyu, I didn't know you were here sweetie."

I simply said entering the room and pretending I hadn't been spying on the both and my daughter just turned at me smiling kind and said something like _Dada's awake_. I just nodded hearing still her half correct, half wrong words and I focused on her while I got nearer the bed and give the tray with food and drinks to Sasuke-Kun who took it immediately staring at me intensely and somehow interested. Miyu got up on bed and I took her by her little waist to keep her from falling.

"Your dad needs to eat and rest a little while. Do you want to stay with him?"

I asked her smiling gladly like I always do when I'm with her and she, now calm and watchful nodded. I turned to Sasuke-Kun then and I saw him eating slowly in silence and attentive at the both of us.

"Do you mind?"

He shook his head and I nodded just in response and kiss Miyu in her forehead making her to smile.

"I'll be right back. Take care of dad and don't give him any problem, alright?"

"Yes mamma."

I smiled again and let her to sit down again on the mattress and I got up without looking back at him. I knew he was watching me and I could feel the weight of his black stare on my back but I walked to the door and let it open before going away. It was true that I had some things to take care of still in home but I wanted too to let them alone together and I knew, even if I wasn't there to testify, that Sasuke-Kun was really and sincerely calm and happy when he was with Miyu. That was good to him so I continued my house chores just smiling sometimes when I heard my little girl giggling or laughing and I kept myself away till I had finished what I had to do and I peeped again inside the room. Since long minutes I hadn't heard Miyu talking or giggling so I wondered why it was. When I landed my emerald eyes on the bed I saw that she had fallen sleep in Sasuke-Kun's arms and that in fact he was sleeping too. Miyu's head was resting on his chest and he hugged her softly and protectively. The both seemed so peaceful and untroubled that I just stared moved and meditative at them smiling softly and lovingly. Carefully and without doing a single noise I entered and put the covers over their lying and relaxed bodies and turned off the lamp leaving the room in slight darkness. And then I left the room closing the door after glancing back at that pair of dark haired beings that I loved so much with my heart exploding in blissfulness and the same calm they shared now in their sleep and I had seen before in those pair of obsidian eyes so alike and different at the same time.

And I was calm. Like I had not been since some time ago.

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_Kakashi POV_

"So you don't know still what's wrong with him?"

I asked directly at the blond Hokage and she just shook her head in denial lost in thought. We were the both alone in Sasuke's room, days after Sasuke's last seizure. He had spent hospitalized two days in observation while they did tests on him. All the young ones had come to visit him and Sakura had brought Miyu too the next day he woke up. Her visit had visibly helped Sasuke a lot even when it was difficult for people who don't know him to notice the little and almost invisible changes in him and his behavior. The hours Sakura and Miyu were there in the white room with him had left him calmer and less cold and indifferent and he had tried hard to leave behind the tiredness he still felt gripping his body and mind. Naruto had been another cause of _weird joy _to our Uchiha heir and I smiled at the cheer and light moment he brought to my dark haired former student just with his presence and incessant talking. Some other thing I had found interesting was the fact that Sasuke had appreciated all the visits and had been polite enough to not glare or get cold suddenly with others wishing him to get well. He was serious like his trademark demanded but he had been attentive at any of us. When his daughter visited him he had been looking intensely at her, especially when Miyu took his hand in her little ones and just smiled at him kindly without saying a word. When he had had his seizure she had been worried for him just seeing him in that state even if she couldn't comprehend all that was happening but she never cried in fact. She never looked desperate like any of us when he was out that 12 hours and she was the one who reassured and supported her young mother when Sakura was dying silently in concern and waiting. And then she had been the one that just by taking his hand and kissing him in the forehead smiling sweetly and calling him "Dada" had soften his face the most. I had witnessed that and I had seen how touched Sakura was looking at the both happily and how Sasuke had stared with some sort of longing at the pink haired one.

His eyes had been so emotional for first time since a long time ago.

And now the wise and strong Hokage and me were here in his room while he was again bedridden thanks to one of his catatonic episodes, just days before he had fainted in Sakura's home due to his intense and painful migraine and even when he had gotten a little better since that, he had woken up today trapped in this symptom that was always the most unbearable to confront to any of us. Seeing him like if he was dead was something so hard to do, staring at his stillness and empty expression and lost gaze. I sighed sadly watching him from the corner of the room where the blond female sannin was studying him in silence and worry.

"I don't have a clue yet but I'll get it. I won't stop till I find out what the hell happened."

She said scratching her head desperate and sighing tired and still drifting in thought. I nodded serious.

"I don't get why the treatments are not functioning right now. It doesn't have logic. There weren't different circumstances that could have led to this result. The treatments always did well. He followed them faithfully."

"Maybe his body needs others. Maybe it has gotten used to them."

"I know that and I predicted how long I can keep him with them until searching for others ways to treat him or other doses. This is too soon and unexpected."

I nodded realizing somehow ashamed that I should have thought that she had that in mind. After all, she was the best medic nin known not only in the Land of Fire. But I was very worried at how frustrated and concerned she seemed and I felt real preoccupation and protection towards Sasuke.

"I'm just hoping that this is just something temporary. If he doesn't get better after this I'll have to take stronger measures to help him."

She then came over the bed and leaning a little laid a hand on his dark messy hair patting his head with softness and seriousness. Sasuke didn't do anything and in fact I knew sadly that he wasn't there in the room with us and didn't know what was happening with himself and around him. He was lost in a world we don't know and couldn't reach in any way. The way his dark eyes were unfocused and dead were so damn hurtful to watch that I chose ashamed to stare up at the blond mature woman who seemed so thoughtful.

"What do you mean with stronger measures?"

"I don't know." She sighed defeated and ashamed too. "That's something I'll have to figure out too. But I know I have to do something."

I just nodded understanding perfectly her frustration and deep concern for Sasuke. She finally said goodbye to me and went quietly and meditative to the door. I stayed in my spot leaning against the wall with my arms crossed across my tense chest and my half dark look glazing distracted at the silent presence of my former and best student.

"Kakashi" I turned my head at her soft voice and I found her still at the door with her hand nearly opening it. "Take care of him. And if you see something strange or new in him, please don't lose time and come to tell me."

I nodded again furrowing my brow and while I was watching her leaving in careful silence I knew that whatever she was thinking that it could happen now about his condition was in fact dangerous and concerning. She wasn't the only one expecting this weird illness to get worse. I was the other one. And even if the wise Hokage wasn't confiding all her doubts and fears about it with me I knew, and she knew, that we were in the same line of dreading thinking.

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_Naruto POV_

I laughed openly hearing one of the jokes Kiba had told us. I hadn't done it since days ago when Sasuke's health was so precarious and frail. I had focused in missions and trainings and I had acted cheerful and hopeful to support and help Sakura-Chan and Hina-San was the pure light I had in my messy world that was capable of turning everything better just by her mere existence. But I knew she was doing her best too in this unknowing and concerning situation and we both hoped for everything to turn right soon. Right now we were content and happy having dinner in a nice restaurant with all of our friends, less Sakura and Ino who were busy in Konoha's Hospital with Shizune and Tsunade-Baachan. Sasuke had had a catatonic episode two days ago and Kakashi-Sensei had taken care of him then and now he seemed pretty recovered and stronger and I had decided to take him out of his room and have a nice dinner with all of us. In fact this dinner had been prepared especially for him and his recovery but of course, no one told him. We knew how he could have reacted at it. So there we were, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Kiba, Shino, Hina-San, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sasuke and me just babbling and playing around, eating and enjoying ourselves with open laughs and sincere friendship and partnership. I was glad to see that Sasuke even in his _usual he_ seemed interested and comfortable and I smiled widely just knowing the fact. His pale face was truthfully calm and his dark orbs glimmered with strength. Now even a slight trace of coldness or annoyance could be found right now in his expression. He just turned his attention to the one who was speaking in the moment and listened like any of us. He didn't laugh or break his perfect stance of control and chant that seemed to bring girls to him like bees to honey in his younger years but I knew he was having a good time. I saw it in the corner of his lips that sometimes twitched slightly in amusement or fun or how his eyes filled with light of utter relax and compliance.

So after we were just chatting and we had ended eating I started to recognize the way his behavior began to change little by little without a specific explanation due to my observance and satisfaction of giving him a time like this. First I thought I could be mistaken. My best friend started to look somehow detached to his current around when his black gaze was assaulted by a strange distraction that I have to say, I couldn't find the source. I saw distracted myself, how he started to pay less attention to our company and how his obsidian eyes slowly turned to one side and the other like if he was following something that I couldn't see. At first his onyx glance was somehow confused and apprehensive and with the pass of minutes it grew into a scared look with a hint of utter desperation. In question of mere minutes, Sasuke suddenly lost it and got up startling and surprising all of our friends and me. I followed his action immediately standing myself worried and sincerely confused by his strange act and saw him with his wide and shocked opened black eyes fixed in a corner of the small restaurant while he curled his fists into balls of trembling despair. I hadn't seen that expression of utter horror in his pale features since so long time ago that I cannot remember exactly when I had witnessed it.

"Sasuke, what's going on?!"

I asked worried trying to calm him and approaching my slow hand to grab his shoulder. I was sitting at his right side and Lee was at his left one. I heard my friends murmuring things in the same line of thinking like mine. They were pretty freaked out and honestly concerned for him too. Sasuke didn't seem to listen to any of us and his petrified pale face followed fixed in the same place. Just his focused glance was moving quickly from a point to another and all his frame shook without control giving me the impression that he was going to faint from tension soon.

"Calm down Sasuke-San, everything's all right!"

Lee said calm and tried to grab him by the shoulders with careful and slow movements. When his fingers touched Sasuke's clothes he snapped immediately and turned his head to him before raising his arms and pushed Lee with all the force he had against Kiba who was sitting next to Lee and even the table was shaken by his actions. Then our dark haired and eyed friend backed away from us and I noticed deeply worried how his glare was fixed in every one of us like if we were unknown to him and we meant a real danger in his current surrounding.

And then I panicked.

Because he didn't recognize us.

"Sasuke, it's me Naruto, everything is fine..."

I said trying to sound calm and in control of the situation but by the corner of my blue shocked and worried look I caught the serious and thoughtful glance in Shikamaru's wise face. I tried slowly to approach him again smiling weakly and sincerely seeing how Sasuke was staring at me with terror and anger mixed with desperation. His dark and now noticeable tired look was still following invisible shadows that we couldn't see and I knew that if he thought that he was in real danger he could possibly start fighting us in defense.

"It's ok… we're your friends, remember?"

I was mere inches away from him when he furrowed his painful confused brow and tried to push me and attack me like he had done already with Lee but I was quicker and I put myself out of his way. He backed away again and now I noticed how he was looking for a way to get out of there. The exit was plenty big and was just very near of him but in fact it seemed that he couldn't see it. And that fact made my worry to increase and filled me with frustration and affliction.

If he couldn't see the exit that could only mean that he was lost in some sort of hallucination and he couldn't tell what was real and what not.

And if he couldn't tell between reality and fiction… that meant he could be dangerous right now.

We couldn't know what was happening inside his demented and frail mind. We couldn't imagine what he was seeing or hearing right then. But his fear and agony grew suddenly with the force of a tide and the anger appeared there in the profound abyss of his soul showed through his black orbs and he started to grab the things that were near his reach and throw them at us and the place in a frenzy spree scaring the few people that were there having dinner just like us.

Even the owners of the restaurant tried to run and hide and I just heard them advising the people to get out of the place. There was a mix of voices and movements but in all the confusion I didn't put any attention to any of it. Sasuke was doing a mess and I had to stop him before it grew into something more dangerous. My friends were defending themselves from the objects flying through the space of the restaurant and didn't want to do something harsh to stop him. I took a deep breath and I started to approach him little by little knowing that I was the only one capable of calming him. He needed me. My best friend needed me. When I saw that he raised his shaking hands and braced his confused head with them I could sense his suffering and plea. I knew he wanted to stop the disaster he had unleashed without intention and I knew he was pleading to something or someone to stop it. He shook his head several times still holding it with his trembling hands and his breathing had accelerated and sounded harsh and uneven. He could go hyperventilating soon if he didn't calm himself. Those black eyes he had seemed so haunted, exhausted and terrified that I stopped my tracks in front of him grateful of being just for inches away from him. I didn't want him to stress so much that it could provoke him a seizure that we all dreaded. No. That was why I leaned slowly to face him deeply worried and still not trying to touch him.

"I'm here Sasuke, is ok, everything is fine… calm down, ok? I'm here…"

I said softly watching him with concern and then I tried to touch him putting my hands on his shoulders. He didn't look up to me. But when he sensed my trying he dismissed my gesture aggressively throwing his arms against me and backed away again till the wall stopped him. He pressed his back against the coldness of it and then still in the same condition he was, slowly let his body to slide down and sat there with his lost eyes full of despair. His pale face showed a true expression of confusion. I sighed glad that he had calmed and wasn't trying to hurt us or destroy the place anymore and I took sad contemplation of his state. Sasuke was lost in his inner world while he was sitting there and I knelt in front of him in silence before deciding exactly what to do or say. His arms had fallen slowly to his sides and he was staring at nothing when he pulled his knees against his chest breathing still harsh and uneven.

"Is he ok?"

The soft and adored voice of my girlfriend came to me. Hina-San was standing behind me and put a supporting hand over my blond hair with fondness.

"I don't know…"

She lifted her delicate and pale hand from my spiky hair and I reached for Sasuke again with carefulness and slowness but he, after sensing me, again tried to push me and get away from me. I lifted my hands furrowing my brow in preoccupation and care.

"Ok, ok… It's me Sasuke, Naruto… calm down…" He didn't lock eyes with me and still was looking at the floor at different points, following phantoms that didn't exist. I caught gently his flying and defensive arms with my strong hands and for once he didn't try to hurt me or get away from me. He stayed slightly trembling. "It's ok Sasuke… it's me, Naruto… calm down, and everything will be fine… I'm here…"

He seemed to calm down then after hearing my worried voice and feeling my grasp on him. I run my hands clutching softly his arms through them in an attempt of soothing him slowly and supportive. Minute by minute his trembling was lessening and his breathing became regular and steady but he didn't lock eyes with me. Not yet.

"Is he ok?"

Shikamaru asked seriously while all of them came near us carefully trying not to scare or provoke Sasuke in any way. I didn't answer right away still watching sadly and worried at my dark haired friend who didn't look up at us and was still lost in his mind.

"I think so." I said finally in low voice. Sasuke suddenly took his head in his hands again like if he was trying to not hear something startling me. But I didn't lose my grip on him and I focused my attention on him again. "Sasuke? Are you all right?"

He finally seemed to hear me somehow and looked up at my concerned blue eyes fixing his tired and pained glance on me. Noticing that he was calm and in control again I let him go and I rubbed his back with my hand smiling softly. I couldn't get rid of the affliction I felt and that it was clearly showed in my eyes.

"Are you ok Sasuke?"

I asked him knowing this time that he could comprehend my question. He slowly nodded averting his profound eyes and I felt him completely relaxing and breathing normally. I nodded at him and then I turned to my friends who were quiet and surveying the damages and I nodded to them in response of their own true worry. I let Chouji and Shino to help Sasuke up and they stayed with him still grabbing him by the arms in a supportive way. It was plenty obvious that he wasn't entirely fine and was weakened and shocked by the incident.

"Look at this." Shikamaru told me in low voice and I understood what he meant. The place was a mess. I felt ashamed. The owners were looking suspiciously and hardly at Sasuke and at us. I knew they demanded the pay for the damages. "It's terrible."

I could only add thinking hard in what had happened with Sasuke. He never had acted like this in no one of his episodes of hallucinations before. What had happened to make him act like that? It had been so long time ago since his last hallucination…

"I could only guess his sickness is getting worse and thereby, out of control."

Shikamaru's serious and low voice caused a deep silence among all us. Sasuke wasn't even paying attention to our conversation and was just there between Chouji and Shino with his tired and black eyes fixed in the floor with a strange spark of distance. Hina-San took one of my hands in her own supporting me and giving me strength when I was shaking in my own.

"He doesn't look very well." Neji added worried glancing directly at me. "This situation is going to bring him more problems to his current status."

I nodded paler after understanding his words. Shikamaru waited for them to sink finally in my concerned and afflicted mind. I felt Hina-San's hands clutching softly and lovingly mine.

"Take him to Tsunade-Sama, Naruto. I think it will be better if she hospitalizes him."

"You mean…?"

Kiba looked preoccupied and shocked at our smart friend while I was pondering still his suggestion.

"I mean that Sasuke needs to be under control somehow. And it will better if the Hokage does it than wait for another to handle it."

"Oh God… The Council…?"

Tenten's scared and clear voice froze us in our spot immediately. Shikamaru was right. He didn't have to nod to make us understand it. It was better for Sasuke if the Hokage herself took his condition on her own hands right now before the situation could get worse. I watched sad and with an agonizing anxiety at my best friend who was so lost and confused in his own deformed reality.

"That's my biggest worry." Shikamaru said again with low voice looking one by one the face of his friends including mine. "We need to protect Sasuke from the minimal chance they could get to take advantage over him. I think they're waiting for the perfect opportunity to have him in their hands."

"That's why Sasuke needs to be with Tsunade-Sama. She will protect him."

Lee said firmly with his brow furrowed in understanding. Shikamaru nodded at him and then looked knowingly at me.

"It seems you're one of the few people who could get through him Naruto. Take him to Tsunade-Sama. Don't wait. The Council could know about it very soon."

I nodded at him serious and worried and I approached Sasuke taking him by his waist softly and slowly trying not to disturb him. Chouji and Shino watched us with the same shadow of concern and affliction that was lurking in every pair of eyes of my friends. Sasuke didn't react a bit when I encircled his weak figure like I was trying to prevent him from falling. He had an intense mesmerized look in his pale face that bother and hurt me at the same time.

"Let's go Sasuke."

I told him quietly trying to appear calm and after saying a dark and worried goodbye to the rest of my friends I forced him to walk step by step outside the place he had nearly destroyed so badly minutes ago. Hina-San was the only one who followed us in silence when we reached the lonely street of Konoha and I was glad to hear her soft and quick footsteps at my back as a support. I was so damn worried, confused and panicked for Sasuke's actions that I couldn't really think in logical reasons to make him act like tonight. Nothing strange or dangerous had happened to force him to act so aggressively and forgetting who we all were. We were just serenely having dinner. He was following Tsunade-Baachan's treatments and advices. She did a complete checkup on him every third day. Shizune was keeping him under surveillance after he had had that migraine attack in Sakura-Chan's house and then that catatonic episode in his own room barely days ago. Everyone of us were attentive at him and watching him like hawks and I couldn't understand what it was going on, what was wrong to sick him like this. I dreaded the possibility that his weird and unstoppable illness was getting to the critical point of no return.

"We're near the hospital Sasuke. Just be strong for a minute, ok?"

I told him preoccupied when I was forced to stop our slow walk because he was trapped in a visible pain inside his head. I wondered if he was fighting all alone the same intense hallucination he had in the restaurant or if it was just the beginning of a painful migraine again. He in fact couldn't really show how deep the pain was searing through him and his face was a perfect mask of coldness and indifference similar in freaking appearance of a doll. Only that pair of onyx eyes filled with the undeniable spark of unshed tears of unbearable hurt and his body trembled slightly. He had one of his hands covering his pale face. Hina-San looked sincerely worried at me beside us and I nodded slowly moving again and without waiting him to feel better. It was imperative to reach Tsunade-Baachan the sooner we could. I lifted and carried his weight giving quicker and precise steps towards our destination.

"Don't worry Sasuke. Everything will be fine, you'll see. Just be strong, alright?"

And I said the words like if I was talking to me too, wanting to really believe them in the uncertain night surrounding us and for the first time my undying hope was shaken to its core when I felt him trembling suddenly in my arms without a single warning.

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_Sakura POV_

I had ended my job when suddenly I noticed the screams and movements outside the changing room when I was searching for my bag to go home. I had spent all day there with Ino and Shizune helping Tsunade-Sensei in some cases and learning new stuff while she explained them to us. That was why I couldn't go to the dinner Naruto had organized for Sasuke-Kun and I had felt really sad for not going. I had hoped to see him in an atmosphere more social and natural and among our friends and I had felt really happy to picture him there after all the bad days and nights he had been submitted by his health.

So when the staff of the hospital I loved so much to work in came running through the hall and screaming things I was logically attracted and concerned and grabbing quickly my bag with my brow furrowed in sharp seriousness and high curiousity I left the room behind me prepared to lend a hand if it was needed.

I was left speechless and wide opened jade eyes staring confused how my friends from work were coming and going like if some sort of catastrophe had happened recently. It took me just seconds to flinch from my paralyzed state of shock when I saw Ino running to me in her medical nin role and I expected her to stop and explain whatever was happening. But she seemed to be so busy with her serious and worried expression darkening her pretty baby blue eyes and I had to grab her by her arm forcing her to stop suddenly. Ino stumbled thanks to me and spun around quickly looking at me confused.

"Sorry Ino" I said first asking her forgiveness for being so rude. I let her go immediately and it startled and concerned me how she was trying distractedly to avoid my emerald interested and confused gaze. "What's going on?"

She hesitated before saying something. Shizune approached us running just like her before and stopped staring painfully at me when I was still waiting for Ino to answer me.

"We have a problem."

I nodded at Shizune seriously while I noticed how Ino averted her thoughtful and worried look.

"What is it?"

"Sasuke-San is involved." When Shizune said that I felt like my breathing had stopped suddenly and I was stunned and glued to the ground under my feet. My right hand flown quickly to my throbbing chest and I blinked away the sudden tears of worry and pain imaging what was hiding behind those three single words. "Calm down, Sakura. He's not injured. At least not till now."

She was talking slowly and serenely at me but I could notice the distress and anguish she was trying to conceal like Ino. I nodded knowing that I had to calm myself if I wanted to be cold headed and help and I took a deep breath relying all my will on my apprenticeship and experience in hard situations as a medic nin myself. Sasuke-Kun needed me strong, I repeated wordlessly and incessantly to myself knowing that since I had read his medic file I knew how fragile his condition was, I had grown in my inner strength even if I felt being torn into pieces. That moved me to not lost control like before and immediately I focused in him whatever the situation was. He didn't need the old crying and weak Sakura and I didn't want to be like her either.

"What happened?"

I asked with a voice that seemed a murmur and affliction took over my green hazy eyes and Ino suddenly put a hand over my shoulder reassuring me.

"It seems that just moments ago Sasuke had a relapse." She said serious and worried without retiring her hand from my slightly shaking shoulder. "He had a breakdown in the restaurant where Naruto and the others were having dinner with him. Hinata and Naruto were coming this way to see Tsunade-Sama to tell her and leave him under her care hospitalized but Sasuke got pretty out of control again. He was hallucinating in the restaurant and in his way to here it happened again but it was… worse."

I nodded just for informing them that I understood. Inwardly I was shaken by the immense preoccupation and sorrow I felt for imaging the terrible scenario she was describing to me. My pulse and breathing had accelerated and I did a major effort to keep it at ease.

"Sasuke-San lost it completely." Shizune said now watching me with contempt and empathy. "He attacked Naruto-Kun and Hinata-San and then when he could run away from them… he lost control over his special powers."

I blinked shocked and trying to figure out what she really meant. When I got it I saw her nodding worriedly at me.

"Amaterasu?!"

I barely asked with anguish in my broken voice and she nodded again. I knew that when they talked about Sasuke's special powers always referred specifically to the maximum power the Mangekyou Sharingan has. I had seen him using Amaterasu before and I knew how destructive and powerful was. I felt shudders through my whole body picturing how bad the situation could be outside the walls of the hospital and how Sasuke-Kun was.

"The forest… around Konoha, part of it is right now consumed by the black fire. Some flames had caught some buildings too. Tsunade-Sama is trying to calm Sasuke-San but…"

Shizune couldn't say anymore and lowered concerned her dark look. Ino took her place in telling me the current situation but I was dying to run away from here and go to where Sasuke-Kun was. He needed me, I thought egoistically knowing that I was giving myself more credit that the one I really had. The anxiety was gripping horribly my tense soul. The tears were hardly contained inside my eyes for my shaken will.

"Naruto and the others… tried to calm him too but they hadn't had success. Just like other Jounin that were free from missions in Konoha. Sasuke starts the black fire wherever he looks… is too dangerous." She paused gravelly affected and looking sadly at me. "Naruto and the others had fallen injured in one way or the other."

"How is possible that they cannot calm him?!"

I asked desperately and seizing finally how bad everything was. My heart was screaming horribly for going to where he was without losing a second. I couldn't think, I couldn't feel. Nothing more than Sasuke-Kun filled me completely, my mind and my heart. Just this love pulling me to run to his side and hold him forever.

"He's not only using the Amaterasu." Shizune added understanding at me. When she saw my eyebrows rose in question she sighed tiredly. "He had used the Tsukuyomi too and even to Kurenai-Sensei, a master of Genjutsu was impossible to get near him to calm him. Kakashi-Sensei is worried for this… he dreads that Sasuke-San can use the last power of the Mangekyou Sharingan. That's why I came to look for Tsunade-Sama personally… because we think that she's the only one now capable of helping him."

Hearing that made me to take the final decision. But the both seemed to have other plans for me.

"We need all the help we can to attend the injured people."

Shizune said waiting for my response but I immediately shook my head firmly and seriously and controlling my sobbing and desperation.

"I'm sorry Shizune! But I have to go and see Sasuke-Kun! I have to! Please forgive me…"

I turned around quickly and forced my paralyzed body to run through the halls I perfectly know and I was glad when no one of them followed me. I didn't want to fight them for stopping me. I could felt the tears going down my cheeks when I was running through the busy place and I didn't put attention to all the eyes that looked me like a blur. I didn't listen to the words and voices. All I wanted was to locate Sasuke-Kun and help Tsunade-Sama to calm him soon. If he didn't stop… this was going to cause a lot of consequences to him that I deeply feared about, besides the terrible effect that could cause in his fragile health. My chest bothered me with my incessant running and my barely controlled sobbing and crying but I didn't care.

When I was outside of my work place I was stunned seeing all the scandal that Sasuke-Kun's actions were causing. There were people screaming and gossiping about what was happening and running and others had locked up themselves on their homes. Some were crying hysterically or afraid for the news. The plain truth was that it was a situation similar to a disaster and had woken up surprisingly Konoha in the middle of the night.

After my shock had dismissed I followed some of their look's direction and I saw the black and impressive flames of the Amaterasu meters away from my spot very high and daring the nocturnal sky. I didn't lose time in contemplating horrified what that meant and somehow immersed in a dreamy, or more precisely, nightmare state, I run again with all my might to that spot praying silently, sobbing and worried just thinking in seeing and helping the young man I love so much. I prayed for everything to be fine with all the devotion I could gather in my agitated and accelerated heart. My tears continued to fall through my already wet face but I couldn't feel them or control them anyway.

When I arrived to the spot where I guessed Sasuke-Kun was, I looked concerned and desperate the little crowd consisting in Jounin and Chunnin looking at the impressive and strong stance of our Fifth Hokage who was standing still and like waiting something near the line of the forest's beginning. She was alone there with her fists tightly closed and I could see how she had used her power in the ground behind us. It had visibly shaken thanks to her immense strength and in some points it had splattered into pieces of different forms and weights. My emerald teary gaze finally found Sasuke-Kun in all that mess and my heart throbbed inside painfully. Tsunade-Sama was staring carefully and deeply analyzing him while he was just fallen in the shaken ground under his feet trying to stand up without success. He was hardly breathing and it seemed to be an extreme effort for him. Some splattered pieces of the ground were somehow trapping him in that spot and I trembled worried when I heard him gasping for air and I noticed how pale and exhausted he was. When he finally looked up to the blond Hokage his red eyes with the magnificent, beautiful and dangerous design of the Mangekyou Sharingan were encircled by deep black rings and I saw him sweating from an intense fever.

The tears from my eyes fell again like a ghostly waterfall when Tsunade-Sama advanced to him slowly and carefully taking especial notice in every single step she went forward towards his fallen, weak and sick figure and even when Sasuke-Kun was still immersed in his power and showing it with his crimson orbs I knew like my own sensei that he couldn't use it anymore. He suddenly closed his eyes with a very real expression of profound pain and his pale forehead softly wrinkled in response. He was slightly shaking and Tsunade-Sama finally stood in front of him silent and observant, worried and emphatic looking the father of my girl for a long couple of minutes. It seemed that she was waiting to really be sure that the fallen Uchiha was not dangerous to try to get closer. The destruction the battle had left around me was impressive considering what had caused it and the short time it took to develop to this terrific point. I watched by the corner of my teary and green eyes how some Jounins were trying to contain the greatly devastating power of the Amaterasu with special techniques of sealing or containment of powerful jutsus. It was taking them a lot of effort and chakra to do it but they were clearly devoted to their task. Other Jounins and Chunnins were divided between protecting our wise Hokage or help the injured. I kept my tired and anguished gaze on my sensei and my only love and I felt my body relaxing when I stared at her finally just at mere inches away from Sasuke-Kun and then Tsunade-Sama was kneeling in front of him putting slowly and softly her potent hands over his shoulders in a way to support and calm him. When he looked up at her his eyes had returned to their common color and he wore a definitive and clear panic in those black orbs that I unconsciously advanced a couple of steps towards them with my hands clutched against my chest worried by that sincere expression on his pale face. I was stricken like if lighting had fell through me when I noticed how exhausted and empty he looked there with a real devastation in his posture and rendition.

Tsunade-Sama was murmuring to him with a frown filled with true, deep and inevitable concern and Sasuke-Kun reacted at her sudden gesture trying to get out of her grasp and fighting against her imprisoning arms and clutching hands with a force so weak that it was a real pity to testify. There was nothing left inside of him that could give him enough might or strength to free him from her presence and voice and I prayed inwardly asking him to stop it already and just give up. Just give up and let her help him. He seemed near a certain collapse and I was so damn scared for that possibility.

The honey eyed sannin didn't lose a bit against Sasuke-Kun's futile attempts and I sighed calmer and hopeful when she held him firmly against her making a prison with her body to trap Miyu's father last tryouts. When finally he couldn't fight anymore he just closed tightly his desperate and dark eyes and with a little frown displayed across his pale sweated forehead rested his head against her shoulder almost limp like a broken marionette that had lost its wires. Tsunade-Sama stayed a little longer holding and supporting his tired body and I knew that she was checking him up while she patted her back and run her experienced and healing hands through his hair, head and arms. Her frown deepened with every little inch she covered and her full lips were soon closed on a tight tense line. That expression was not a good sign.

My teeth locked frustrated at myself for not knowing what to do to help. I was somehow new in the matter of his weird, unexplained and mysterious sickness and I couldn't help to feel desperation and sadness over my ignorance. When the fresh nocturnal air caressed my face I could feel then the wetness in my cheeks and little tears of profound pain and worry were still hanging from the corners of my foggy jade eyes. I wasn't crying anymore because I knew that Tsunade-Sama had the situation under control and I heard myself sobbing and panting due to the stress I had been feeling all the while. I tried to calm my bothered heart, stretched mind and leaping soul feeling for the very first time all the tiredness I had earned doing my job at the hospital and I did a lot of effort to not fall on my knees right there and close my eyes more than the necessary to blink fearing I could fall asleep in the moment. I reacted from my stillness and stunned state fixed in the fallen silhouette of the only man I had loved all my life when Tsunade-Sama called Kakashi-Sensei and Guy-Sensei to her side. They looked a little worn out thanks to their implication in the situation Sasuke-Kun had brought without a known and reasonable explanation and when she told them something quietly and pretty serious and concerned, the both just nodded in the same synchrony as her and Kakashi-Sensei took Sasuke-Kun in his arms carrying his limp and fallen being. Before they disappeared and I was very sure that they were taking him to the hospital, I caught saddened and worried how my silent boy was still conscious and his black orbs were unfocused and lost behind his heavy eyelids.

I don't know how I returned to my own home. I don't know what happened after I saw them disappearing and taking Sasuke-Kun with him and the Fifth Hokage raised up giving orders and commands in her full voice of authority. Somehow I know that I was left there in my spot speechless and extremely worried and asking my body to move and go to the hospital or just simply talk and ask my sensei what was going to happen with my Uchiha. But I was so tired that I just knew that Ino had come to me telling me something that I couldn't quite hear and then she held me by the waist pulling me to follow her leaving that place behind me. She didn't dare to talk to me anymore seeing how distracted and affected I was, but I was more thoughtful and concerned that really traumatized or paralyzed. I was trying to not be the old weak me and I was just figuring out what could happen from here concerning Sasuke-Kun. The destroying black fire that he had unleashed remembered me when Ino pulling me passed near one giant flame that this was going to be terrible for him and I dreaded really feeling that something unimaginable was coming his way inevitably without us knowing. After Ino left me in my bed sleeping and she lay beside me stressed and exhausted too, I thanked that mom was still there and had taken care of Miyu who was sleeping safely and unaware of what was happening with her father. My heart gave a start when I pictured how I was going to explain whatever hard consequence Sasuke-Kun's behavior had brought with what he had done this night. I couldn't continue thinking in that terrible shadow that was climbing over his head and therefore my head and my daughter's head like a bad omen that forecasted a very big confrontation and punishment I couldn't go deeper imaging that scenario caused by the darkness and tiredness of my numb body and mind that had won over me without a last word.

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The words spoken from the tight concealed voice of the third sannin alive had left speechless and stunned the people reunited there hearing them. She sighed tiredly with a face that showed deep and intense seriousness and worry over the matter and her honey eyes shone with alert and alarm provoking her to look profoundly meditative and intuitive without a doubt. It was the next morning and she hadn't had proper time to rest and sleep.

"It cannot be serious… right?"

Naruto's voice was shaking due to the confusion, surprise and dread he felt. It seemed he was the only one there that was capable of saying something in response to the words spoken by the blond Hokage hanging on the air still.

"It is. It's very real and serious."

"I know they have to be angry with Sasuke but…! What they're deciding!! There has to be an explanation to this!! Nobody died thanks to God and the injuries the Jounin and Chunnin suffered weren't dangerous! No one citizen was hurt in this! The material damages Sasuke can cover them!"

"You're right Naruto, in all you said. I don't think that Sasuke did this on purpose. But it is unquestionable what could have happened if all that you said weren't supposed to be like that."

"Tsunade-Sama and I are waiting for him to get better to do special tests on him. We want to figure out what happened to provoke this behavior in him."

Naruto just nodded slowly still frowning preoccupied and trembling in affliction to Shizune's sincere and tired voice. She had had a rough night too.

"This situation was all the Council needed to take strong measures against Sasuke." Tsunade said simply as a matter of fact landing eyes on every one present there. Her eyes fixed specially in the blond and blue eyed ninja that seemed totally devastated. "The villagers were really scared with this incident and it's understandable even when the incident took over a place away from buildings that were occupied in the moment. We took care of the black fire quickly and excellently but still it unnerved and freaked out the people in Konoha. That's something any of us couldn't deny."

Naruto just clutched tightly his fists in agreement and tension. Kakashi supported a hand on his shaking shoulder.

"The Council of Konoha therefore is sick and tired about everything related to the matter classified as "Uchiha" and is quiet terrified of Sasuke and all the problems he had caused since his first return. That's why they decided to put him under arrest and imprison him finally. They are thinking in avoiding future and possible damages to the village and to him too."

"They don't care about him."

Anko said firmly and narrowing her eyes and Tsunade could only nod agreeing with the talented Anbu. And by the way Guy and Kurenai were staring at her so firmly and seriously it was pretty clear that the both thought the same. After Kakashi had asked their help to assist him in his new training for Sasuke they all had spent some time in the company of the quiet and mysterious young man. They all cared about him. Hiashi Hyuuga had even come after he had known of the disaster and because the Council had demanded him to go and present himself with them and the Hokage and the sensei and tutor of the prisoner. The three of them had left the reunion barely minutes ago and now they were debating with the others the outcomes of the talk they had sustained with the Council. They were worried just like Naruto and his other friends who weren't there due to their implication last night trying to help and calm Sasuke. The only one there from their group of friends was Naruto himself with Shikamaru. The blond shinobi remembered feeling somehow guilty and preoccupied how he had asked Hinata to go and look for them in the restaurant while he tried to locate Sasuke and somehow control him. If he hadn't asked their help they would not be injured and hospitalized still. The only one who was in her own foot at the first hour in the morning was Hinata who wasn't wounded as severely as the others just because she had gone to warn Kakashi and Tsunade after telling the message of help to her friends. He saddened remembering how his best friend had attacked him and his beloved girlfriend before running away in a total state of confusion, terror and out of control. He barely was capable of protecting Hinata from the quick and unexpected moves from Sasuke.

"You're right. I know they don't really care a bit about him." Tsunade lowered her honey gaze thinking hard. "It's a lie that they want to help him and stop him from hurting himself. All they had wanted was an excuse strong enough to put their hands on him and his future. They want to get rid of him. That had always been the truth."

Her certain, honest and low words left everyone silent in the big office. Nobody could argue against the truth they represented. Naruto hissed angered and concerned under his breath and Shikamaru just sighed thoughtful crossing his arms against his chest and locking his teeth.

"They had always wanted to get rid of his clan. They had always wanted to get rid of Sasuke. And now they have the perfect reason to do it. They had decided to imprison him for a very long period of time if it's not for the rest of his life. Sasuke is a very real danger right now and we cannot go against that. They had all the truth with them to make viable their decision."

"They're terrified at his will to overpower the seal I imposed over him." Hiashi-Sama added meditative and sad. "They think that he's a bomb full of power to fear and lock up. And probably they're right. My seal wasn't enough to control him. I had failed and I found this very concerning and strange. I'm a humble person but I have to recognize that this that happened wasn't supposed to happen. Only if _special _circumstances got in the middle. Just like the treatments and checkups both of you had concerning him." He nodded to Tsunade with a nod of respect and recognition and then to Shizune. "Our matters shouldn't have ended like this. We are good in what we do so I only have questions bothering my head: What really happened to Sasuke Uchiha to go beyond that? Why my seal wasn't enough? Why your treatments and checkups weren't enough? What are we missing? What factors caused our business to fail to this point? You had said that you still don't have a clue but that doesn't mean that they're nonexistent."

Tsunade nodded frowning meditative at his speech. He was serious and offended by the words the Council had used to him and his failure about Sasuke. Naruto had heard everything with his pale worried face going deeper in fear and protection towards his former teammate. Shizune was lost in thought with the same questions Hiashi Hyuuga had asked to the tense air in the room.

"I think that too and that's why I'm going to see Sasuke and do all in my power to have answers. I'll have to do some delicate medical jutsus but I don't care if that gives me the information I want. Shizune will help me to do it quickly. I won't let us hurt him but I have to use strong measures before the Council decides another drastic move against Sasuke. It's necessary."

"Another?"

Kurenai asked worriedly and the strong sannin nodded with eyes filled in suspicion. Kakashi clenched his jaw lowering thoughtful his half gaze.

"They said that even if Sasuke was imprisoned that measure could not be enough to contain his power and craziness. I'm worried about that."

"Do you have an idea of what it could be?!"

Naruto asked desperately afraid and he crossed looks with Tsunade and Hiashi before saying something. The female sannin answered this time.

"We have some ideas but I won't tell them at loud until it's inevitable. But if they're heading to that result… and I don't have proofs to defend Sasuke…"

She didn't finish and all of them could understand how terrible the outcome was going to be for the sick Uchiha. Only Naruto was somehow lost in translation but he was hoping against all odds and that hope gave him patience and facility to let it go right now. He didn't want to ask and he didn't dare to think about it. He focused in his friend and helping him out of this problem.

"You'll have to wait if you want to see him. Even you Kakashi, right now Sasuke is isolated till he regains control of himself. Shizune and I will go and do our job and I'm asking you to all of you" She landed her tired eyes on a preoccupied Naruto and serious Shikamaru. "to not do something impulsive or unexpected. Let me handle this please and don't do more harm to Sasuke's situation. That's something you have to tell Sakura too. It's very important to follow the Council's requirements."

Naruto and Shikamaru nodded. They knew that Sakura was going to respect that as any of them. There wasn't any other way even when the blond and the pink haired wanted with all their soul to be there for their Uchiha.


	20. Sacrificing

Thanks to all of you! I'm sorry for not updating sooner and I hope and promise to do it sooner than this last time. I want to really thank to all of you who are reading still this story and/or reviewing or putting it in your list of favorites or alerts.

I tried to not do this chapter as long as the last one but somehow it was inevitable. So sorry for the ones who think they're long but sometimes the scenes just take you all the way.

Now, let's go to the reviews and once again, thanks to all of you from the bottom of my heart:

First to Laury_Uchiha for her work as my beta in this last chapter. You were really quick girl! Thanks for you review of it and I'm happy you liked it. And be sure that when I have the new chapter I'll send you right away. Thanks for loving my story and yes, we'll know someday what has been happening with Sasuke, believe it, just have patience. Let's hope he doesn't refuse Sakura's plan. I'm learning a lot by the way, reading a lot of fanfiction to improve my english. Sorry for scaring you. I knew all of you were going to think it was the new chapter (bad for me, cruel I am) and I'm still alive! I'm following the manga and it's getting good because Sasuke is back! Ha, ha, no, it's really good. Sorry for saddening you. My, no one wants Sasuke to die! (not even me). What do you think of Sakura now? Don't stop bombing me with PM's and well, now that you have read the last chapter maybe your wanted scene could happen. Who knows (cruel of me). You printed chapter 18. For being long. What's with me and long chapters?

AVAuchiha: Thanks for your review after my special note! Yeah, I'm still here going on and trying to update soon. I'm sorry for doing long chapters! But I'm glad you don't complain about it. Thank you!

jay-alexis: Thanks for answering to my special note! And thanks for saying that, you really got me saying that you didn't mind to wait because you love it. And it's going, don't worry, there's still a lot to happen. I don't want to let you down! Thank you! I hope to be forgiven for the delay thanks to this long chapter... I like when you cannot guess what is going to happen next. Did I surprise you?

Babykat570: Thank you for your support! I'll take my time, I want to do good chapters and to really keep it as I imagined at first. Thank you! I'm keeping it up! I'll try to do it often!

Massu_Chan: Hello to you and thank you for your review! Thanks for considering a great story and for supporting me till the end. I hope you liked the chapter. Thank you! Yeah is sad. Not even with Naruto's scheme their relationship had really changed. About Sasuke dying... I don't know. I can tell I have thought in two endings by the way. I'll continue it, don't worry. I hope you like the last chapter. Have a pleasant day you too. One day I'll unravel Sasuke's mysterious life. I know I have to explain it (upps for me! I'm joking!) Probably you'll have your scene after all they're going... do you read chapter 20? Thank you for loving it.

touchtheskies: Hey! Thank you for saying you miss me! I missed all of you too. I won't abandon this story, don't worry. Thank you!

sonia: Well to answer your question, Sasuke is sick because of a jutsu but still nobody knows who did it (yet). It's kind of weird to have him mute but I guess it's more mysterious this way... but don't worry, I'll promise you, and I tell you as a little spoiler that he would talk. Someday. About him getting cured... I'm still thinking it (cruel of me). And yes, this story is depressing and a drama mostly, sorry for it, I like that kind of stories so I guess I'm attracted to write them. And this is going to take a while so I hope you don't get bored or lose your patience. Thank you!

xxx-tenshi-xx: I'm sorry for dashing your hopes into pieces and for getting you so mad about it. Sorry! I really love to read your reviews and to see your opinions. I don't know what are you going to say of the last chapter and I'm hoping to have your mercy! And you're right in something. It will be a miracle if Sasuke became suddenly the perfect husband. I hope to see you around still and to have your reviews. Sasuke had behaved really bad indeed with Sakura and Miyu too. Thank you! (Sorry for making you sad).

C.A.M.E.O1 and Only: There's still a long way. Seven chapters I think but I don't want to elaborate. With writing you never know. Sasuke's POV will come sooner or later, don't worry. Thank you! Does Sasuke care? What do you think? Please don't go for your meds after reading chapter 20! Thank you!

Delione: Hi there! Sorry for making your sad and thank you for taking time to read the long, long, looooooong chapters! About their happy ending well, I don't know. I have two endings in mind. One more developed than the other. I don't know if he'll die but I know he'll talk one day. Questions, questions! Thanks for loving my story and I hope you like the last chapter. Thank you!

luna_starz: I updated it! Thank you for loving it!

luna: Thanks for loving this chapter! I updated it! Yeah! Thank you!

ChipFest: Do you still want to be my other beta? I haven't heard from you for a long time. I tried to send you the chapter 19 but I don't quite remember what happened. Thank you for wanting it! That meant you like it. Thank you for liking the length and the plot!

IiSKATEBOARD: Thank you for calling it awesome! Sasuke will talk, don't worry, sooner or later. And I'm sorry but I think you'll have to wait a little longer. Sasuke wasn't completely asleep when Sakura kissed him. Naruto noticed it. Thank you!

sneaky08: Another update! Another long chapter! I hope you enjoy the last chapter! Thank you!

Crunch Berry Baroness: I hope you like the contact they're having lately! What do you think about the last chapters about that? Thank you!

I think I don't owe anyone else an answer but I'm not pretty sure. So sorry if it it is the case, please forgive and let me know, I just have time to check up quickly the reviews of the last chapters and sometimes I can miss something.

SEE YOU LATER AND THANKS!

**Chapter 20**

**Sacrificing**

_Sakura POV_

It seemed like a nightmare what I had lived last night. I was still so trapped in the incident and in the fear I felt for Sasuke-kun that when I woke up I did my early routines almost completely in silence and deeply lost in thought and worry. Ino had gone before I woke up and mother waited for me to tell me and knowing from her what had happened with the father of her granddaughter she offered me to stay at home watching and taking care of Miyu. I thanked her gratefully and touched and trying to not burst into tears of agony and despair. If she was with Miyu that gave me time to investigate what was happening with my friends and Sasuke-kun. I needed to know what was his current situation and if I could take Miyu later to see him. I was sure that her presence was going to soothe him and help him like always.

After a light breakfast that mother forced me to have and saying goodbye with a strong hug and a sweet kiss for Miyu and a supporting look of my mother I left my home ready to face whatever future was awaiting me. I was bracing myself so tight and strongly that I had to breathe deeply to calm myself and clear my mind from the anguish and dread I was feeling about all this. I wondered concerned if Sasuke-Kun was alright and if he was serene enough to confront the Council and explain to Tsunade-sama. I had decided since yesterday that I was not going to cry just as an unconscious and impulsive response at anything and that I was going to be strong, cold headed and helpful like the Medic-Nin and the woman who gave birth to his child I was at the same time in his mixed world.

When I arrived at the hospital I noticed how the devastation Sasuke-kun had caused hours ago because of his breakdown had really affected Konoha. The hospital was brimming with injured ninjas from different status and the murmurs run along the halls in hushed words. Most of them were worried and panicked about Sasuke-kun´s behavior and seemed to agree with whatever decision the Council was going to make concerning him. I couldn't be really angered or disappointed with them after I witnessed at first hand what had happened but that didn't mean that I agreed with them. I didn't want the Council to punish Sasuke-kun, I wanted them to help him. I didn't believe and I couldn't believe that he had just wanted deeply and secretly the destruction he had caused like some people dared to say just because of the past and I didn't like how they implied that he had done it on purpose taking advantage of his "weird illness". The little part of the people who had testified his actions last night were worried and wondering caring for his well being and his future and among that few people were our friends who I came to visit first after knowing where they were. I knocked on the door where one Medic-Nin had told me they were reunited to be released by Ino in a moment. Just Naruto, Shikamaru and Hinata had been released earlier and they were waiting for the rest of them to leave the hospital. Nobody could give me news about Sasuke-kun and whenever I asked anyone about him, they simply said honestly that they didn't know a thing about him and that the Hokage herself was dealing with his situation and the orders of the Council. After hearing that, a horrible and haunting hunch kept hovering in my heart and not a hopeful word or wanted wish could make it disappear and I didn't want to know the reason when it was screaming in the deepest part of my soul.

I sighed intensely concerned and trying to maintain calm and not cry and strengthen up before I heard someone coming to the door and opened it letting me to go inside. Naruto smiled weakly and sadly with a permanent frown of worry and I was glad that he didn't seem very injured. He closed the door behind me quietly after I had come into the big white room where the rest of my friends were waiting for Ino to tell them that they could go. All of them stared at me with preoccupation and serious faces wondering the same I was wondering. We wanted to know what was going on with Sasuke-kun and the desperation was trying to control me and kill me painfully and slowly. I focused again remembering myself my promises to act in my best behavior in his sake; my Uchihas sake even if my inside was tearing up with each second passing.

"I'm so happy that all of you are fine." I said glancing at every one of my friends with a little soft smile and sighing relieved. "And I want to thank you… for trying to help him."

I didn't and couldn't say anymore because I knew my voice was going to break. I was doing a big effort and I had to take it step by step if I wanted to really be cold headed and strong when Sasuke-kun needed me. They all nodded at me still thoughtful for what had happened and Ino ended checking up Chouji who was the last one to take care of. When she looked at me I just could smile at her thankful for what she had done for me last night and she knew it perfectly and smiled at me nodding.

"Don't you know anything yet?"

I asked after a brief pause. I noticed how they crossed their serious and worried glances and Shikamaru sighed tired before answering my tensed question.

"We only heard that the Council has him in a special area of the hospital that they closed particularly for him to be completely isolated. The halls and accesses are watched over by Anbus designed for it and just Tsunade-sama and Shizune can go to see him for their experience in medicine." He explained pinching the bridge of his noise with his thumb and index finger meditative. "The both had gone to see him since hours ago and they hadn't returned to tell us what they discovered. It seems that the Council designed another Medic-Nins too to do tests on Sasuke, like if they wanted a "neutral" view of the case."

"A neutral view?" I asked feeling an urging anger rising inside of me. "They don't trust in Tsunade-Sensei or Shizune of course! They probably think they could do something to help Sasuke-kun."

"That's what we thought." Neji added spacing out. "But the alarming thing here is that we don't know yet how he is right now. And the worst is that we don't know what measures the Council will take about his situation."

I nodded concerned and anguished, knowing that it was true. That was the part that scared me the most. What they had decided to do with my Sasuke? I didn't want to jump into conclusions right now; I just wanted to see him even from far to know that he was ok. Just a simple glance could calm the pain and suffering I was holding up inside my heart.

"Until now Kakashi-Sensei told us that they had ordered to keep Sasuke isolated and controlled by any means necessary till the Medic-Nins know what's wrong with him." Shikamaru said again seriously and staring straight at me. "He hasn't seen him either. He's waiting as Hiashi-sama to visit him and give their opinions on the matter but we don't know exactly what kind of measures they're going to take when this has passed and the result of the different tests are done."

I knew that he, being the kind of genius he was, had something already figured out in his bright mind about it and when he was silent and locked his black gaze with mine, he didn't have to tell me that I was guessing right. And I couldn't ask him what he thought about it and what he thought was going to happen to the father of my child. I couldn't help to sigh preventing myself to sob and lower down my look to the ground trying to breathe calm and be focused. My eyes hurt when unshed tears wanted to rebel against my will and I felt Naruto wrapping an arm around my shoulders supporting. He had been so silent and lost in thought all the while.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan! We'll do something to help Sasuke, I promise you."

I just barely smiled grateful watching him for a second not feeling the same small hope as him. I sighed deeply and frowned feeling strong enough to look up and wait with them for news about Sasuke-kun. Like an answer to my prayers suddenly the door opened and Kakashi-Sensei appeared with Sai, Hiashi-sama and Tsunade-sama looking serious and tired. Ino immediately jumped to her feet and smiling happily threw her arms around Sai's neck calling his name cheerful. He patted her back softly with his usual façade and softened eyes and I couldn't help to smile watching them together. It was so weird and so cute too being the both so different.

"You're back!"

"I called him." Tsunade-sama said amused for my blonde friend's affection. Ino sneaked her arms around Sai's waist as I noticed that the lighthearted moment my eyed blue friend had brought so easily had disappeared in an instant. All of us were in silence watching at the last Sannin as she folded her arms over her chest. She seemed so exhausted and focused at the same time. "I needed someone quiet to rely on."

"Are you going to tell us why?"

Kakashi-Sensei asked for my behalf. She nodded spacing out and we all gathered near her being aware of her secrecy when her voice was low and private. Naruto was still at my side now wrapping Hinata and me at the same time with one of his supportive arms. Hinata clutched one of my hands reassuringly and I smiled sadly and thankful at her. She just nodded warmly trying to cheer me up.

"We have discovered the reason why Sasuke did what he did."

After the words left her throat and were lingering in the air and the sharp silence, I felt relieved knowing that everything had a reason. I knew something was wrong with Sasuke-kun to behave like that, I knew it. But even knowing it I didn't felt secure watching the frowning and worry in my former Sensei's pretty face. I couldn't help to stare at her listening to and dreading what was waiting in her mind to spill out and I felt again the terrible sense of a hunch gripping my throbbing heart. Watching at the others by the corner of my green firm eyes I noticed that I wasn't the only one thinking that her silence only meant something worse than we could imagine right then.

"Shizune and I were working on his case all this while and I asked her to not leave his side. I don't want him totally alone knowing what we know." Her honey tired eyes turned suddenly angered by the fire of her knowledge and I feared more. "We were lucky to be there and do our job before the Council sent their own Medic-Nins to assure that we didn't help Sasuke or more precisely, to assure that we didn't discover the truth."

She paused and fixed her eyes on us before going on and now I could see she was totally infuriated and she was trying hard to not show how deeply she was affected for her research. Her voice sounded death serious and hissing anger when she finally started to explain us what she and Shizune had discovered. She had to take a deep breath first to calm herself a little.

"Sasuke's behavior came with a reason. Someone has been messing with his medications, with his treatments since time ago and that's the reason why he started to get sicker often and get violent all of a sudden." Her words left me and the others clearly surprised and some of us had our mouths gaping in amazement. Tsunade-Sensei nodded just to give more meaning to her explanation and the gravity of it. I just could only think in one thing: someone had caused this to Sasuke-kun in purpose?! "The way the person or people did it was so skillful and well done that we never caught it whenever we checked Sasuke up. But all he had been suffering these last weeks is due to that sabotage. Sasuke was never really dangerous as last night even in his worst moment, not so violent and aggressive and out of control, not even because of his hallucinations. And with the treatments and medications we gave him it was less possible the chance for him to lose it like now. We had him under control and he should have been better and controlled, with normal presence of his symptoms. Someone deliberately caused this in him and with total intention and purpose. That's why Sasuke is so lost and out of himself right now. The sabotage has inflicted terribly his current state and had affected deeply his mind and body."

My heart throbbed horribly realizing that what it felt was true. Sasuke-kun was in a worse situation I could have dreamed of. As I heard our wise Hokage talking calmly and worriedly I just could imagine how hurtful and horrible it had to be for him to be getting lost little by little, piece by piece, not knowing what was really happening with himself and with the world around him spinning over and over and probably losing context and logic. I felt terribly saddened wondering if he had felt fear and couldn't let it be known due to his permanent silence. My eyes burnt when I realized all this due to the presence of the tears stinging at my firm decision to not cry anymore and be strong but I breathed deeply gazing serious at the Hokage.

"We don't know exactly when the sabotage started but it had been happening for a long time. What they did is unforgivable. Whoever was behind this almost destroyed Sasuke. I cannot begin to imagine what was going on inside of his mind. This is going too far."

She stated with honey eyes fuming in anger and authority. Now the question we all had in our mind was to know the one responsible for this cruelty and I frowned angered too at whoever had caused this mess and had hurt Sasuke terribly. We all have been waiting for him to recover, to get better and instead of that, he was just getting worse and worse and I didn't want to even wonder and think how this sabotage had helped his sickness to get stronger and more dangerous. It was too painful to consider it, to ask Tsunade-sama about it, it was so heartbreaking right now. I just wanted to see Sasuke-kun and be assured of his recovery and well being after all this madness.

"Who was it? Who was the one who provoked this?"

Naruto's voice cut the thick concerned silence and it sounded so monotone and steely that I turned to stare at him worried. But I was feeling the same anger as him and maybe more and I faced again our beloved Hokage frowning and clenching my teeth and balling my free fist. Naruto had gotten tense immediately echoing the fury we felt for whoever had hurt so our former teammate so shamelessly , his friend and almost brother, my only love and father of my child.

"I think it was the Council."

Tsunade-Sensei said serious and honest frowning angered but controlling herself as she shared her thoughts. I knew that even when the most of us had suspected something like this it couldn't be helped the surprise we felt. My body and mind immediately gripped in frustration and anger, wanting to reclaim and hit the ones that called themselves the "protectors" of our village. They had the responsibility to take care of all the civilians of Konoha and even Sasuke-kun after he had returned and had proved that he wasn't a traitor and enemy anymore and had helped in the final war. Were they so resentful still against him for being an Uchiha? So resentful to go those lengths to hurt him and punish him?

"I should have guessed." Kakashi-Sensei said sighing tiredly and lost in thought. "They had been trying since his return to put their hands on him."

I heard from far away all of my friends saying their speeches about their despise and surprise for the tactics they had used this time to tame Sasuke-kun. They were utterly and sincerely angry as Naruto and I mused about my dark haired love. I couldn't help to wonder intensely worried how he was doing right now and if he was fine, if he didn't feel afraid or lonely. Those were the real thoughts and feelings inside of me right now, above the anger and frustration I felt too for the unfair situation. I just wanted to see him and let him know that I was there. I just wanted to hold him, just hold him. I wanted to make his suffering to go away. I spaced out remembering that day when he had been staying at my house with Miyu and me, I recalled sorrowful the way he had fallen asleep with our little girl so calmly and I can say happily without a doubt in his own way. My eyes filled again with unshed tears that I hurried up to control and I sighed deeply feeling my throat hurting for my constant trying to not cry. I couldn't cry and I shouldn't cry. At least not now and here. Sasuke-kun was first than me getting lost in the pain of my aching heart.

"Unfortunately we cannot prove anything; we cannot prove their involvement in this."

Sai said for the first time and the blond Hokage nodded at him hissing frustrated. Kakashi-Sensei was narrowing his eye in real disagreement to what was happening. I knew that Sai was right, of course and that just made my anger to increase like a fire within me.

"There's no way to prove that Sasuke was lead to this result. What they used to sabotage Sasuke's treatments and medications dissolves in a very short time and it doesn't leave hints of its presence in his blood. And even if we can use it as a proof, what Sasuke did last night is the final proof of the danger he is to the village even if it was his fault or not. What happened last night was the thing the Council desired the most to finally have him cornered."

"And we're going to let them have their way just like that?!"

Naruto asked angered and hissing frustrated. I frowned infuriated and worried, so worried that I couldn't find my voice. Tsunade shook her head and a glint of determination filled her pretty honey eyes.

"Of course not. We cannot prove that Sasuke acted that way due to a conspiration but I'm still the Hokage and I can use my role and authority to protect him at least till I find the way to get him out of this. The Council hasn't said what measures they're going to take against him but I'll find a way, please believe me." She said to everyone gathered there and especially to Naruto and me. I nodded believing without a doubt in her words. "For now they still keep him isolated and under surveillance till he can regain his control. The Council wants to talk to Kakashi, Hiashi and me again in a couple of hours and I guess it's going to be then when they're going to tell us what they had decided."

"Then let's go to elaborate our testimony."

Hiashi-sama said simply serious and Kakashi-Sensei nodded frowning thoughtful. I knew that the three were ready to leave us to talk among them and discuss what they were going to say to any question the Council was possibly preparing to ask them. I gathered all my shattering force and determination and I took a few steps towards our highest authority.

"Tsunade-sama, I want to see him. Please, let me see Sasuke-kun."

Tsunade-Sensei stared at me sadly and quietly and I felt the stares of the others upon me but I kept looking at her begging seriously. I knew that Naruto wanted to see him too, and I assumed he had added himself to my firm and silent plead by the way our wise Hokage looked at him by my side. Hinata clutched my hand reassuringly like begging too in favor of my case.

"I just want to see him, that's all. I won't do anything else; I just want to be sure that he's ok. Just a couple of minutes, please."

"You know that I don't have really a say in it, right?"

I nodded still begging with my eyes cleared from unshed tears. I was feeling strong enough to not think in doing something worse to Sasuke's situation and I wanted her to be aware of it. I wasn't a child anymore and I knew well were Sasuke stood now concerning his precarious condition. I watched Naruto in the same wave of feeling of me, with his baby blue eyes fixed on Tsunade-sama as she was gazing meditative at the both of us. She sighed deeply and with a hint of a smile snorted.

"I'm still the Hokage, aren't I?"

I felt a rush of happiness and hope filling my being and I smiled gratefully at her and I heard Naruto gasping in excitement. Kakashi-Sensei smiled at us sincerely and I felt the support of all our friends.

"Thank you, Tsunade-Sama!"

"Great Tsunade-Baa-chan!"

"Probably they'll want my head for this but I don't care." She just said smirking shamelessly and making to snigger all of us including me. She turned to Sai then. "Take them to the floor where Sasuke is by the secret way and if you have to use your skills to provoke distraction, do it, you have my permission. Shizune is there waiting."

He nodded respectfully and then Tsunade-sama turned to face Naruto and me with serious stance.

"Listen, both of you. I'm doing this because I know how deeply the bonds you have concerning Sasuke and I'm confiding in you. I'll try to cover you even if everything goes well. Don't take more than a few minutes to see him and talk to him. I really hope you can help him now that he's so lost to himself."

She said genuinely preoccupied and hopeful and we both nodded decisive to do it. She glanced then to the rest of our friends.

"You all can go to home and rest. I won't give you missions right now after you have been released from the hospital. But be attentive at whatever thing you hear or see concerning Sasuke's situation."

My ninja friends nodded firmly and seriously and then she was gone with Kakashi-Sensei and Hiashi-sama. I waited by Sai's side as Naruto kissed Hinata lightly and happily goodbye and she wished good luck like the rest of them to me and Naruto. I was leaping in secret joy because I was going to see my Sasuke-kun at last.

I couldn't really know what way I was following behind Sai with Naruto's company as we walked through empty halls and silent stairs that belonged to floors of the old hospital that were in repair. I was just thinking over and over of Sasuke-kun, what I was going to say or do if he could recognize us or if he couldn't, if he wanted us there, or if he didn't. I knew very well that I wasn't going to see him as the woman madly in love with him; I was going to support him and help him as a friend, as a former companion and the mother of his child but nothing else. I wasn't going to force him to notice me again, even if he had done it already in that way that I couldn't really comprehend, and I wasn't going to bother him with the showering of my love like I had done when I was younger. I had grown, and I wasn't a child anymore and I had promised myself to behave like one concerning the love I felt towards him even in spite of everything that had happened between us and how much he had hurt me. I had taken the decision of being there for him even with all that in our personal accounts and I was going to stand beside him for Miyu and for him too. That was going to be the way to love him in my own way, waiting to not be hurt again in my futile attempts and wishing really to help him and be there for him. I knew I couldn't have him, not that way anyway and I accepted it day by day, night by night. But he needed me now, he needed Miyu and his friends and his well being was all that mattered right now.

When we reached the correct floor we were lucky that the Anbus designed to watch over Sasuke-kun weren't there and I wondered thankful if it wasn't Tsunade-sama's doing. We walked quietly and carefully along the large and white hall till Sai stopped in front of a specific door that had a small crystal window and I looked inside of the room behind Sai's right shoulder as Naruto did the same over his left one. I noticed that the big white room was almost empty and I could see only the bed and two chairs, and a small table in one corner with a jar of water and glasses on top of it. There weren't windows and I guessed there was a door leading to the bathroom somewhere but I couldn't see it from my spot. In one corner of the silent room the silhouette of Shizune stood quietly and still watching persistently to the opposite corner thoughtful and preoccupied. When I finally landed my jade eyes in the corner she was staring so lost in thought and worry my breath was caught in my throat surprisingly. There was Sasuke-kun sitting with his knees against his chest and his arms resting in top of them and his head tilted to the wall and resting against its coldness in a posture of seemingly defeat. He was wearing white clothes from the hospital and his black-bluish hair was messy. But what really saddened me and shook me deeply, angering me immediately, was the way his eyes were covered with a special white cloth with weird symbols in black.

He was blindfolded.

And noticing it I was reminded of the main thing for which I wanted to see him and talk to him. I had had it in my mind going on in circles since I had witnessed the Amaterasu and I had seen that special pattern in his crimson eyes. Mangekyou Sharingan. The sorrow filled me completely clenching my heart. Sai knocked and Shizune immediately opened the door for us carefully and not really surprised for seeing us standing at the doorframe. She talked quietly averting her dark tired eyes towards Sasuke-kun who didn't give us any attention at all.

"Tsunade-Sama asked me to bring them along to see him."

Sai explained and Shizune just nodded frowning worried. Naruto was staring shocked at Sasuke-kun, paralyzed between concern and frustration.

"How's he?"

I asked seriously and in Medic-Nin mode frowning preoccupied and pained for him. Sai stared at Sasuke-kun with that seemingly empty face he usually had.

"They ordered to put him under meds to keep him controlled. They had him sedated all the time. Sometimes he's more aware of the situation than others. When the sedatives wear out he starts to hallucinate pretty bad and he turns violent if he's provoked. We still don't have permission to treat him. Tsunade-sama is accelerating the permission. The longer he's not treated, the sicker he gets." She paused shacking her head lost in thought and deep worry. I frowned deeper with my heart shattering. "And they ordered to blindfold him to stop him from using the Mangekyou Sharingan. One of the old ones made that jutsu in the cloth he's wearing to prevent him to take it off. He cannot use it if he's so sedated and using that cloth covering his eyes."

"Sasuke…"

I watched the pain sinking in Naruto's soft and concerned eyes, just like mine.

"You two have to hurry up. Tsunade-sama said to take a few minutes to stay with him."

Sai reminded us softly and I nodded at him walking towards Sasuke-kun carefully and slowly trying not to disturb him or scare him, if he was aware of me, anyway. I heard Naruto getting out from his reverie and his feet followed my path immediately noisier and desperate. Sai and Shizune stayed at the doorframe watching us in silence. Naruto let me approach him first and I thanked him inwardly for his insight. I knelt down staring worriedly and painfully at his pale face noticing how shallow his breathing was. Was he eating well? Was he sleeping? Remembering that he was pretty sedated right now I dared to run my thumb on the top of his left hand reassuringly and slowly, smiling sadly without noticing in fact that he couldn't see me. He flinched abruptly when he felt my little and soft caress and I took his hand in mine trying to soothe him.

"It's me Sasuke-kun. I'm Sakura."

I said simply and sweetly trying to not let out a deep sigh of childish love. He just listened to me still and tense. Naruto knelt down by my side looking quite serious and meditative.

"Naruto is with me. We wanted to know how you were, we wanted to see you. To show you that we are here."

"Sakura-Chan is right. We were very worried about you, fool."

Naruto smiled like if there wasn't anything to worry about and I was moved by his big effort to show himself hopeful and relaxed. Knowing that we didn't have a lot of time left, I decided to go straight to the point. My heart screamed to stay here with him keeping him some company but I knew that I couldn't do it. It was for his sake. I ached for stay near him just holding his hand or holding him and whispering to his ear that everything was going to be ok at the end. I didn't want him to feel lonely or afraid. I wondered how he felt being blindfolded. Was he confused? Was he scared? Was he angry?

"Sasuke-kun, I need you to ask you something, please, and we don't have a lot of time left." I glanced back at Sai who nodded warning me. I clutched tightly his hand after I fixed my jade suffering eyes on him promising not to cry. "Please, promise me that you're not going to use the Mangekyou Sharingan again. Please, promise me. I don't want you to… I want you to…" A choked sob stopped me and against my willpower and promise some tears fell down from my crystal worried eyes soaking my cheeks. Naruto was staring preoccupied at me. "I want you to see Miyu grow up." I could finally say sobbing and trying to regain control and forget the rebel tears. I frowned desperate for him to understand me. "If you keep using it you won't do it. You'll lose your sight, you'll end up blind forever. You know that your sight's condition isn't really in its best shape for the former using you did of it in the past; you need to take care of yourself, alright? Please, don't use it again. I beg you. Do it for Miyu. Do the best you can to avoid using it. You have to see her growing up."

I said sweetly and desperate bringing his hand in mine to my lips and I kissed it sobbing sadly and heartbroken. I didn't want him losing his sight being so young, being so sick, and having Miyu. It pained me picturing him defenseless and unprotected now because of his illness and that could only get worse if he was blind. I held his hand against my cheek sobbing sorrowful and I felt him clutching my fingers softly in response. I was highly surprised by his gesture and I stopped sobbing as more tears rolled down my already wet face and with wide opened eyes I knew that he had understood me. When I crossed looks with Naruto I noticed he had seen it too. He rested his hand on his shoulder supporting and this time Sasuke-kun didn't flinch. He knew who we were. He was probably in one of the times when he wasn't totally sedated. Sai cleared his throat and I knew it was our signal to go. Naruto hugged him patting his back as Sasuke-kun sat down still and weakened due to the meds.

"Take care, Sasuke. Don't worry, Tsunade-sama and Kakashi-Sensei will fix it soon. Have patience, please."

When he pushed away from my dark haired love I wanted to do the same. Hold him tight. But I didn't dare knowing my position in our life and I just kissed his hand again before letting it go feeling physical pain as I broke the material connection between us. I caressed his face softly and lovingly feeling him still and half sedated and I accepted Naruto's hand to get up. As we were leaving the white and almost empty room behind us I gave Sasuke-kun a last glance promising myself to come again to see him here and wishing with all my heart to not have to do it, if he was free from the Council's grasp and in his own home and I could visit him there.

I prayed desperately for it.

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_Tsunade POV_

How you can learn the best way to give the worst news to someone you care for? I had been the Hokage for a very long time and before I was a ninja of Konoha and the third Sannin and after all that… I'm still clueless. It's heartbreaking and sad, really, being the highest authority in the village with a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. Now I was staring at my pink haired former student waiting patiently for me to talk and communicate the result of the meeting with the Council and I was speechless worried for the reaction it was going to cause in her. And to make it worse, Naruto was there too with Hinata, Shikamaru, Ino and Neji. The two young Hyuuga had stayed for different reasons even when I had suggested them to go home and rest. Hinata wasn't going to leave Naruto alone and just like Neji was waiting for Hiashi to return. Shikamaru was the highest ranked in the young group since his young years and was a reliable Jounin that had more connections and liberty to know of important matters (in few words, he had promised the others to spy). Ino was waiting for Sai (who was busy with the Anbus) probably to spend the day with him. Anko was busy helping Ibiki and Gai had left with Kurenai to attend some pending missions. I only had Kakashi with me as a support and as an adult companion. I guessed somehow relieved that maybe it was better that I had to tell it to fewer people. In that way I could try to calm them and give them hope. It was easier to calm a smaller group in such a situation like this.

"The Council has given their resolution in Sasuke's case." I said death serious and frowning worried and frustrated, emitting waves of anger and disapprobation, after Neji had asked me how it had gone. Kakashi kept quiet spacing out and deeply unpleased for the result of our debate for long hours with the old ones and the important ones of the Land of Fire. "They have decided to imprison him in jail or in a special place where he doesn't have freedom to act and where he's totally under control and surveillance. In either case is going to be a prison for Sasuke."

I watched how Naruto frowned immediately and worry covered and paled Sakura's face. Shikamaru, Neji, Ino and Hinata were deeply worried and serious. I paused longer knowing that the worst part was coming and I had to say it anyway.

"I cannot do anything about it. Not even being his tutor. They consider that I cannot do my role being the Hokage and not even having Kakashi's help. We're not family, we're not bonded in that way to him to take complete responsibility for his acts. They're going to send him to a special place that it's not decided yet." I paused again but shorter this time before I frowned angered and serious. "But that's not the worst thing."

The four young ninja stared at me shocked and with big eyes waiting. Naruto balled his fists tightly clenching his teeth and Sakura held herself focused and intensely worried. Kakashi looked at me by the corner of my eyes.

"They have decided and ordered… to take out Sasuke's eyes. They want him to lose his sight."

My short and freezing calm words caused them to gape and stare in horror at me. Sakura's hands lifted terrified to her pale face covering her trembling mouth. Her emerald eyes filled with tears that rolled down her cheeks. I could see the pain and desperation besides the shock in every inch of her stunned expression. Naruto was enraged to the point that he even growled angrily and started to shake uncontrollably. A deep frown of fury marked his forehead. Neji was totally in awe and his eyes moved and fixed at empty spots and I knew he was thinking hard in my words. He was still and controlled but inwardly was shocked as well. Hinata was deeply worried for Naruto and Sakura and she showed through her pearl big eyes how she was so shocked and worried for Sasuke's destiny too. Her eyes were glassy and horrified and her lips trembled disbelieving. Ino was speechless and paralyzed with wide opened eyes filled in angst and worry. Shikamaru was deathly serious and thoughtful, with his arms folded over his chest frowning annoyed and disgusted. Of course, the first one to react was the blond Hokage wannabe who shouted infuriated and shaking in despair and anger.

"HOW DARE THEY…? HOW CAN THEY DECIDE AND ORDER SOMETHING AS HORRIBLE AND UNFAIR? SASUKE IS TOTALLY INNOCENT! HE DIDN'T PLAN TO GET SICK OR BE ATTACKED THROUGH HIS OWN MEDS! HE DIDN'T DO WHAT HE DID LAST NIGHT ON PORPUSE! IT'S UNFAIR!"

"We know it." Kakashi said sadly and thoughtful placing a supporting hand on one of Naruto's quivering shoulders. "It's unfair and the worst part is that we cannot do anything about it."

"HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP SO EASILY?! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LETTING THEM MUTILATE HIS HEALTHY SIGHT JUST BECAUSE THEY CAUSED IT FIRST! SASUKE WOULD NEVER USE THE MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN AGAIN AGAINST KONOHA! WHY DO THEY WANT SO BADLY TO HURT HIM, TO CONTROL HIM? WHY ARE THEY SO SCARED OF HIM?!... I DON'T GET IT! AND I'M SO ANGRY, DAMMIT!!!!" Naruto yelled pained and shaking violently in desperation. Sakura was crying freely now totally in shock and meditative. I wanted so bad to know what was going on in her head. Ino wrapped her in a supporting and reassuring hug shocked too. "WE CANNOT LET THEM HAVE THEIR WAY!"

Naruto shouted at me and I was again faced with my role as the highest authority here. All the people in the village waited for me to have a way to fix things, they hoped and expected the best of me even if I had to work miracles. Staring at Naruto's crystal and angry eyes, begging me within that anger and worry for his best friend to do something. I stared at his baby blue eyes silently with my deep frown and serious face knowing that I knew he was right even before confessing them the horrible news. But even if I was going to try something I wanted them to know the reality and wait not only for the best, but unfortunately for the worst too. They needed to know it.

"Of course we'll try something but I want you to be really aware of how difficult and hard this is." After I said that Naruto's angry and frustrated behavior calmed down a bit and he stared hopefully at me and I felt guilty for my expected fail. "I won't give in without using all in my power to help him and stop this nonsense, but I want you to really know how things can turn out if I cannot do anything about it. Please, try to understand and accept that."

I glanced at every one of them reassuring them my point of view and posture about this and they nodded after thinking briefly what my words really meant. Sakura was the one who seemed dazzled and out of here, like if she was in another world completely different from us. I looked sympathetic at her pain and sorrow.

"Tsunade-sama is right." Kakashi said then serious and firm. "We'll do all in our power to help Sasuke, be sure of that. But be ready for whatever the outcome is. Whatever happens to him, he'll need us by his side."

A long silence followed his little supporting speech as we all pondered in quietness and worry the situation. Finally Sakura was the one who broke it seeming strong enough again without crying or sobbing, but with her jade eyes crystal and still full of unshed tears. She frowned still shaken from the news I had brought to her in spite of my own will and childish expectations.

"When are they going to...?"

"There's still time because they haven't decided where to send him. There's still the discussion of his state and little details to handle, but we'll take care of all that, don't worry. If you want the exact time, I can say perhaps two or three days. Shizune and I need to put him again under treatment." I said preoccupied and emphatic at her feelings after noticing how she couldn't end her question because her voice was cracking up in suffering. "And I'll demand the permission to let you see him if you want, when he's better. I promise."

I tried to smile to her but my intent was weak and sad but still caused in her the effect I desired. She seemed hopeful and happy in all these hopelessness and unfairness just for my promise. She wanted to be by Sasuke's side and probably bring Miyu to support him. I could give her and Naruto, and all the ones who care about our Uchiha that sort of promise. That no one was going to take away from me. No one.

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_Sakura POV_

After Tsunade-sama and Kakashi-Sensei explained to us what decisions had been taken concerning Sasuke-kun, she asked us to go home and do our normal things. We couldn't do anything for him right now, he still was lost and confused and just Shizune and she could help him in getting better. They wanted to control his hallucinations that caused him to be violent and aggressive. So with my heart broken already and my hopes battling my fears I had to obey her and go home and live my normal life. I had been so shocked when I heard our wise Hokage explain the decision over Sasuke-kun's life that I couldn't say anything in that moment and just stare paralyzed and it had taken me a while to recover from the searing suffering I felt knowing what waited for him. Ino accompanied me with Sai as Naruto stayed behind with Hinata and Neji still waiting for Hiashi-sama. Naruto had wanted to come with me too but I declined his offer wanting him to stay with them. Maybe Hiashi-sama could promise something else or say something else that could give me more hope and ease the incessant pain inside my chest. Shikamaru decided to go home and he seemed a little distant and meditative to me. But I was so immersed in my deep worry and true sadness to pry on it more. I went home and stayed with Miyu and my mother not feeling quite good to go to work. Mother had to return home by noon and I was alone with Miyu in my little apartment. I took her in my arms sitting her on my lap as she happily and innocently painted unshaped things with her crayons in white sheets of paper, humming a little tune Mom had taught her. I was smiling at her actions fascinated by how she picked colors and draw shapes, but half of me was far away in that white almost empty room in the hospital. It was kind of sad and ironic how I had worried for his sight when I had visited him without knowing what they had decided about his punishment. It was like I had sensed it or I had called the matter to happen. My eyes filled with tears once more but I controlled them and I blinked them away clearing my throat. I didn't want to preoccupy Miyu. My little girl was so young to know and understand what was happening to her father right now.

All that day I had spent it half away from my reality and half focusing in my daughter thanking her when she made me laugh or smile and wondering over and over how to help her father out of this. What I can do to save him from this destiny if Tsunade-sama couldn't do anything? I felt so impotent and frustrated at my uselessness and I nearly bursted in tears of anger and despair. In my quiet times I just kept watching him inside my mind as I had seen him hours ago and I tried hard to think in a solution to save his sight and his freedom. Naruto had been right in his defense towards Sasuke-kun but we didn't have proofs to support it. They had been so damn skillful to put him in the mere situation they wanted. By the next day I had barely slept and I decided to take Miyu with me to the hospital, not mattering if she could see him or not. I wanted her with me, to soothe me and give me hope in her ingenuity and I didn't want to bother Mom anymore. She had done enough staying a lot with her when I couldn't be there. I got us dressed up and prepared and after breakfast I took her with me but I didn't dare to tell her about the possibility of meeting Sasuke-kun fearing that I couldn't take her to him. When I arrived I immediately met Kakashi-Sensei even when I hadn't planned it. He waited with me and Miyu as we were silent and sitting in one bench outside in the gardens. The fresh wind and cloudy sky were really relaxing to my troubled and pained heart and mind. Kakashi-Sensei respected my wish to not talk and kept me company and soon was happily chatting and playing with Miyu as I watched them weakly smiling feeling light inside this darkness of uncertainty. Half an hour later Naruto appeared and joined them and soon they were acting silly and cheerful even in spite of their real mood and I thanked them silently the effort they did to ease me and make Miyu happy just with that. She had been really worried asking me for Sasuke-kun since she hadn't seen him days ago. I had had to smile and lie to protect her from the horrible true.

_Your father is going to lose his sight and his freedom._

Hearing my thought clenched my chest painfully as I spaced out concealing my unshed tears and my desire to cry openly in front of them and all the people there. I needed to be strong and I needed to find a way to help Sasuke-kun. But till now, I hadn't found it anyway. I was so useless.

"Here comes Shizune and Sai."

Kakashi-Sensei's serious voice caught my lost attention and I got up as they and Naruto carried Miyu. They stood in front of us and I noticed how tired Shizune looked. She probably was doing a big effort, as Tsunade-sama, to control Sasuke-kun's illness again.

"Sai" I said softly looking at him and with a soft smile. "Can you take care of Miyu for a moment, please?"

I asked him trying to disguise my intense angst from my little girl. He nodded and took her from Naruto's arms. Miyu happily went with him without any problem or doubt, even when she wasn't used to him as to my other friends because she didn't see him often. I watched the two go for a walk finding amuse at how Sai seemed more scared of her than she as she was talking in her mismatched way. Naruto giggled as I smiled before letting the preoccupation to wash over me again. My blond best friend frowned immediately.

"How's everything?"

Kakashi-Sensei asked serious and Shizune shook her head sad and exhausted.

"Tsunade-sama is still discussing with them to change their decision but she hasn't been lucky yet. But we cannot lose hope, right?" She paused hopeful and sighed with calm and worry. "One good thing is that we started the treatment last night and we hope for Sasuke to get better after adjusting to it."

"What did Hiashi-sama say?"

I sighed relieved and happy for this news but I knew that the worst was still pending over Sasuke-kun's head. I turned to Naruto desperate after I had finally reunited enough courage to ask. I was hoping something good, a miracle maybe, but when I saw his face darkening in sadness and shocking slowly his head I knew that it wouldn't come. Not my miracle.

"I see."

I could only say nodding and frowning deeply anguished but trying to maintain control and a clear head. My soul can be falling apart right now but I didn't want to show it to anyone. Sasuke-kun needed me strong and I didn't need to be other worry in the list if I lost my mind due to my weakness.

"He was called for because they wanted to know if he could do again something to control Sasuke but… he said that it was too dangerous right now. Very dangerous, in his current state."

My blue eyed friend explained sadly and angered for the general situation. I nodded again without voice to say something else. Kakashi-Sensei laid down a supporting hand on my shoulder smiling kindly. I stared at him smiling in retribution to his care and worry.

"Why don't you go to see him again?"

"I can do it?"

I asked first at him flipping happily in my sadness as a little hopeful child but he turned to Shizune and I followed him. She just smiled tiredly as Naruto recovered his usual cheerful self.

"That's good, isn't it, Sakura-Chan?"

I nodded for the third time as I waited for Shizune's answer. I was happy and hopeful for this but I didn't want my expectations to go high because the truth could hurt me deeper than I already was.

"I guess it´s fine if you stay with him some time. I need someone to take my place watching him. We don't want him to be alone. I was hoping you, Kakashi or Naruto can lend me a hand."

"Of course we can!"

Naruto answered immediately brimming in enthusiasm and excitement.

"We can."

I said feeling contagious due to Naruto's sincere response. Kakashi-Sensei just nodded kindly agreeing.

"Do you think is safe for Miyu to see him?"

"I don't think so, Sakura. At least not today. Tomorrow it will be better." She said guiltily and smiling sweetly and I nodded knowing that I was expecting that answer sadly, anyway. "He's still jumpy and can be a little violent. His hallucinations aren't controlled completely really; the treatment is taking time to function in him. We need to wait a little longer for that. But tomorrow I can assure you that it will be good for him to see his daughter."

"Ok. Tomorrow it will be then."

I said a little saddened but happy that I was going to see him today. Would he recognize me as yesterday when I took his hand?

"By the way, who is with him now?"

Kakashi-Sensei asked curiously.

"Shikamaru. You can take turns to stay with Sasuke. Tsunade-sama needs rest too."

"Alright, count with us. Sakura, you can go first. By noon Naruto will take your place and by sunset I'll do it. Do you agree?"

Both Naruto and I nodded enthusiastically.

"I can't leave Miyu…"

I started worried and really wishing to take her with me to see his father.

"We'll take care of her, don't worry Sakura-chan! I'll call the girls. We can take care of our little niece."

"Thank you." I said sincerely touched and smiling grateful. Shizune yawned tiredly and her dark eyes filled with tears of sleep. She blushed embarrassed.

"Then I'll take you to his room. I need seriously a bed."

She laughed a little and we giggled before I followed her exhausted stance to one entrance of the building. I turned around just to wave goodbye to my former sensei and my best friend who waved in response smiling supporting. When I put a foot inside the hospital I was feeling really hopeful and happy for the chance to be reunited with him so soon. I had dreaded to it be more difficult but I found relieved that it wasn't, till now. I could stay some hours by his side keeping him company just like I wanted.

And that was going to be my way to show him how much I still love him against all odds.

I followed Shizune still spacing out and barely taking notice of my surroundings till we reached Sasuke's room. Anbus were standing as surveillance but they didn't say anything to her or to me and I guessed that Tsunade-sama had won this battle and I felt so proud that I smirked imaging the Council's reactions to our visits to their _favorite _prisoner. I didn't really believe that I was going to spend the morning with him till I was inside the big white room and staring at him smiling worried and enchanted. Yeah, he enchanted me even just sitting in the same corner as yesterday blindfolded and totally sedated, still and quiet. He didn't need to do anything else to melt me like an ice cream under the Sun. Shikamaru, who was quiet and thoughtful, just nodded at us before leaving the room with a wave of his hand.

"You can only take off the cloth from his eyes when he needs to. Like for eating or going to the bathroom. Sometimes I try to delay the time when he's not wearing it. It has to be pretty uncomfortable and scary to keep yourself blind when you aren't really, I guess."

Shizune explained to me by my side in low and soft voice looking at him too.

"Did they give the permission to do it?"

I asked her saddened terribly by the scene in front of me. He looked so vulnerable and fragile right now totally lost inside his mind.

"Yes. Tsunade-sama said that they were probing all of us, expecting us to fail in some way that can damage more his situation."

I nodded frowning angered as she spoke serious and disgusted.

"Well, I'll leave you now. You don't need to worry about feeding him. He has already eaten something for breakfast and at noon I'll come before Naruto to take care of the lunch time. I only have permission to do it but you can give him water if he's thirsty. If you need something or something happens, I left his new file on the table. You can read it while he's calm. There's some meds to help you to calm him if he gets uneasy suddenly. I hope you can handle it to not call their medic nins. They're really harsh and cold, you know."

She said sadly and I nodded again feeling more anger inside of me. Of course, I wasn't going to call them ever. I was a very capable medic nin myself to take care of him. Shizune wished me good luck smiling kindly before going out of the silent room and I was left all by myself there with him. My eyes softened in spite of my constant and never ending worry and suffering for him and weakly smiling I went to him with loud steps wanting him to know that he wasn't alone but he didn't react in any way. I had guessed right, he was totally sedated this time.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun. I'm here again."

I said simply leaning down with a big smile imaging that he could see it somehow through how my voice sounded in the darkness they had put him cruelly. I stood watching him nostalgic noticing that he wasn't in all his senses right now and I went to the corner where the table stood and sat down taking his medic file and opening it immediately. I wanted so bad for him to regain some of his will soon, I just wanted what I had seen yesterday when he had clutched my hand, just that little gesture, just that little recognition and nothing else. That can make me utterly happy. It hurt me so much to see him like a lifeless doll against the wall lost in worlds I couldn't reach. It hurt so much that almost made me cry and I had to blink away my tears and focus in the papers in my hands but that only made it worse. There it was all the truth about his condition as I know it with the high differences caused by the sabotage of his meds. Instead of focusing me it made my heart to throb wildly in pain and sorrow but I forced myself to read. I read it totally in that quietness as he was here with me but it seemed sadly the other way around and when I finished it and I checked up the meds Shizune had mentioned I found myself gazing at him concerned and lovingly. I wondered how things could have been different if he had taken different choices or if I had done it, wondering if we could have been happy together at this point. Was that scenario possible when we could have taken different choices time ago? My pondering was interrupted when I noticed some shifting in the corner. I got up surprised and hopeful as I watched touched and smiling happily with sadness in my eyes how he started to move slowly and seemed to be confused at his surroundings. I supposed that it was hard for him to know where he was and what had happened when he was sedated almost all the time and blindfolded. That had to be pretty confusing indeed.

I approached him quickly and desperate to be near him and I knelt down in front of him filling my eyes with the millions of details that conformed his being. I dared to hold his hand again softly to let him know that I was there still even when we had shared just silence for a long time.

"Sasuke-kun"

I said clearly and calm and he flinched again like yesterday reacting to my touching and voice. His body stilled and his head turned to different spots like if he was trying to convey what was happening. Noticing that he was more awaken than yesterday I decided with my heart breaking to let go of his hand. It seemed that it made him uneasy than soothe him in any way.

"It's ok, Sasuke-kun. I'm Sakura and I'm taking Shizune's place in staying with you. Don't worry, you're safe."

I said smiling concerned and he calmed down a little after hearing me. He fixed his face in a way that he could have been staring at me but I knew sadly it was impossible. He was totally and perfectly blindfolded. What was I going to do if he couldn't see me anymore if the Council got their way? If he couldn't stare at me with that way that quickened my breathing and unleashed my pulse, with that way he melted me in an instant and burnt a path through my heart and mind? With that way that read me and left me bare naked in the spot his eyes laid? What I was going to do if he couldn't lock his beautiful black eyes on me again?

"It's alright. Do you want something? Do you want some water?"

I asked him hopefully for scrapping some big reaction from him and I did it. He nodded calm and tired to my heart's content and I stood quickly going for a glass of water to the table. I brought it to him in seconds as I knelt down again in front of him and I put it in his hands feeling electricity when our hands touched briefly but I dismissed it. I watched happily how he drank the whole water in slow sips with shaking hands and when he finished it I asked him if he wanted some more but he shook his head no. I took the glass gently from his hands and I got up and put the glass again on the table and when I turned around I looked at him trying to get up without success. He was so weakened and exhausted that my heart was gripped in pain watching his big effort and I went quickly to aid him even if he could reject me.

"Take it easy, please." I started worried. "You're in no condition to do big efforts by yourself. Let me help you."

Miraculously he didn't reject me at all to my own surprise and sad expectation. Glad that he had listened to me and was letting me to help him I snaked my arms around his waist trying to support his weight. e was still supporting himself with the help of the wall and feeling what I was doing he let go of the wall dropping his tired arms by his sides. That movement took me a little unprepared and he stumbled against me almost throwing me with him to the ground but I used my well known ninja force to avoid the fall. I supported him perfectly and without effort in my strong arms as he stood weakly and slightly shaking due to his weak state and the stress of standing up on his feet after being just sitting for a long time.

"There you go."

I said smiling and trying to hide the fear and worry I felt for his destiny. I was acting just like Naruto did because I didn't want him to know how sad I was for what was supposed to happen to him. I wanted him to confide and rely on me, to see me as a support. He didn't need me asking the same of him right now. Standing like that, with his body pressed against me my mind started to play tricks on me. I wondered weirdly how I hadn't broken something in him when we had slept together, after all, I had gained Tsunade-Sensei's techniques and I was able to destroy a big rock if I wanted with a mere punch if I focused my chakra on it, just for saying. Of course, it was a very different matter in normal life but my mind was so tricky right now that I don't know how the hell I connected the two points. I blushed deeply red after my thoughts toyed nicely with me and I thanked guiltily for him being blindfolded and unaware of my musings. I noticed that he was a complete head taller than me and that his soft and calm breathing was on my hair. He had laid down his head on top of my pink hair and his right cheek was resting on the top of my head as he seemed to be gathering the strength he had still in his sick body.

This was the first time we were so near and in a position like this since long time ago. I gulped still blushing like a stupid fangirl remembering the moments we had spent together when Shino had been very bad injured in that mission. I had been pondering in how he affected me still so much with his mere presence at the reach of my hand and how much I had wanted to kiss him then. I had kissed him later in another time. Now I found myself again quivering in nervousness, shyness and awkwardness knowing I was all by myself with him in this silent, big, white room and holding him so closely that I only needed to look up to steal the kiss I wanted desperately so much again. It seemed that every time I had him close to me I felt the uncontrollable necessity to kiss him as I needed to breathe oxygen. I tried to clear my head thinking that this wasn't really the time to be thinking in this kind of things and I sighed deeply closing my eyes and focusing in the matter at hand. My warm and red face seemed to obey me as my quick beating heart and uneasy breathing and I opened my eyes feeling suddenly the soft weight that pressed against my forehead. I was highly shocked and surprised noticing Sasuke-kun's lips touching my pale forehead. The blush returned stealing my face and I tried to control myself knowing he wasn't in fact kissing it, just supporting his face against it. But still, the weight of those soft, perfect and yummy lips made me crazy enough to almost hyperventilate.

_Get a grip Sakura! _Inner Sakura, who hadn't come since a long time ago and appeared at the worse times, whispered making fun of me. _You're worse than ever, girl. Stop your fangirl acting already!_ Even angered for her apparition I knew she was right. It seemed that after sleeping with the only man I had loved since I was a little girl I had become a fangirl who can faint easily and that annoyed me. Haven't a lot of other things happened besides _that particular one _that enable me to act mature even around him? I remembered that I didn't act like this before. Knowing that we had been standing closely some minutes and probably he was wondering if I was alive I controlled myself in seconds focusing in erasing my embarrassment and blush.

"Let's go to bed." After the words left my mouth I blushed again and Inner Sakura laughed her head off. Feeling stupid I tried to correct myself and I thanked that Sasuke-kun wasn't really in all his senses right now and I felt guilty for it. "I mean, let me take you to rest. You need to lie down and sleep."

Nervously and smacking myself inwardly I helped him to walk slowly and carefully to the bed as I almost supported all his weight on me and I tried to sit him down but his own almost death weight pulled me with him when I did it and I ended on top of him when I couldn't hold him still and he laid down on the mattress without strength left to sit again. Unexpectedly and embarrassing I found myself laying on top of him as he rested calmly with my body pressed against his. I was so shocked and nervous for what had happened in question of seconds that I was stunned on my place staring with big opened jade eyes and gaping mouth and my hands rested against his chest that moved slowly in synchrony with his perfect breathing. Mine, by the other hand, was uneven and harsh due to my awkwardness and I wondered somehow annoyed and amused at the same time how he was so damn serene right now when I was blushing madly and paralyzed. I could almost feel his controlled heart beating and I was a stupid fangirl with nearly a heart attack. _How pathetic_, I thought embarrassed as Inner Sakura had had a stroke after laughing so hard.

I gulped trying to move my body but my eyes fixed on his pale face. Again I had to thank (unfortunately and guiltily) for him being blindfolded. I didn't want to see his look on me right now. Probably he was thinking that I was such a clingy thing and I felt nauseous at myself. His face was calm and collected as always but I could swear I saw the corners of his yummy lips curling upwards.

Damn. Now I could only think of that stupid word to describe them.

His arms were resting still on the mattress by his sides and I was still touching him like an idiot fangirl going all crazy over him. That had to stop.

"I'm sorry!" I could say finally finding my quivering voice and trying to get up as I put my hands on the mattress to do it. "I didn't mean it. I lost the balance."

And that was the plain truth. But the other truth was that I had enjoyed this and I had loved to be so close to him, in this quietness and serenity. Inner Sakura resurrected and winked playfully at me.

"Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

To my amaze he just nodded and I blushed all colors existed in one second. I had thought he was still dazzled from the meds but he seemed pretty conscious by now. The embarrassment tried to paralyze me again but I grabbed all the control I could find in myself to not let it do it. Clearing my throat softly and blinking nervously I tried to get up immediately but I didn't count with our clothes entangling. I cursed lowly blushed in annoyance and embarrassment as I was again pulled by our entangled clothes and I fell on top of him again but more brusquely and closely. I knew I hadn't been wearing this damn shirt but I had to do it, and I had to choose this damn day. Breathing heavily I found my left cheek against his right one and my lips near his right ear in a very suggesting position.

I felt like something was punishing me.

Reacting quicker than before, blushing and quivering in nervousness and awkwardness I untangled my damn shirt from his upper clothing and I got up taking some minutes to breathe deeply to clear my head and calm my heart and then I helped him to laid down correctly on the bed as I tried to shun Inner Sakura from my mind. I did it in medic nin mode, professional from the beginning till the end trying to focus in my actions and not in the whole bunch of sensations, feelings and thoughts that flooded my soul when I had been so close to him. _This wasn't the moment_, I repeated myself sadly and affected by it, _Sasuke-kun didn't need this from me right now_. It had been an accident and a misunderstanding and I knew he understood it like that when he didn't react different after I left him resting peacefully. I watched over him standing still and trembling in emotion and guessing he had fallen asleep immediately as I fidgeted with my hands against my throbbing chest.

When I was pretty sure that he was in fact sleeping I sat down on the same chair as before and I sighed sadly remembering this last moment. I recalled how nice his hair smelled and how silky it was to the touch and not only to the sight. I couldn't help to find perfection in every detail I saw in him and I wondered, as I rested on the table with my arms folded and on top of it and my head lying on top of them staring thoughtful and distantly, if I wasn't so lost in love with him to be blind in my affection. Was that why I saw him so perfect and beautiful? Man, now I was sounding like a _real damn fangirl _and I chuckled sadly finding amuse in my misery. Was that why I couldn't forget him and stop loving him even when he had hurt me so much and so many times before?

I spent a long time gazing to the horizon spacing out in old memories and feelings with a weak smile painting my troubled face. Here I was musing about all that had been awakened inside of me when I was close to him while his destiny was dark and uncertain. My pondering was interrupted when I felt Sasuke-Kun trashing in his sleep and I turned around frowning worried. I looked at him awakening and sitting slowly and clumsily still weak and somehow lost and I stood up going in quick steps to his side. He was still as a statue and I wondered concerned what was going on in his mind.

"Sasuke-kun?"

I said worried and gently as I extended my hand slowly to pat his shoulder in support but he reacted first startling me and got up from the bed with weak, slow and clumsy movements and tried to get away from my voice. I started worried and shocked how he was trying to untie the cloth that covered his eyes uselessly. Watching him deeply concerned and pained I noticed that he was listening to something and his blindness seemed to alarm him more when he couldn't see it. He was clearly desperate and tense turning around the room just using his hearing and I knew that he was hallucinating again. The meds had lost their effect on him by now and he was barely sedated.

He needed me.

Frowning intensely worried and yearning to help him and erase the panic I could recognize in his harsh movements and half opened lips I came over getting close to him carefully and attentive. I knew he could get pretty aggressive and violent right now if he wasn't handled correctly and I didn't want to give the Council other reason to strengthen their accusations against him. Fuming in determination and love I extended my arms slowly to his restless and weakened silhouette finding my voice in the middle of my angst and preoccupation.

"Sasuke-kun?"

He reacted immediately at my voice and stilled making me to flinch but I controlled myself instantly. My hands touched softly his arms patting them in a soothing mode.

"It's ok, everything is fine. I'm here."

He listened to me at first but then he turned around like if he was hearing other voices in the room and I could read perfectly the slight pain in his pale face for the first time and it broke my heart. Whatever or whoever he was following in his blindness just with his hearing was hurting him and that hurt me too in synchrony. I couldn't stand seeing him suffering without knowing how to help him and erase it forever from him. He pulled away brusquely from my yearning hands and his restlessness increased suddenly when he started to turn around facing all the big white room without stopping, like if the thing he was following moved quickly like the wind. My desperation, worry and frustration intensified causing physical pain and I approached him again wanting to help him without the help of the meds. I didn't want to keep him under medication all the time even when I knew it was necessary. I couldn't keep him away like a ghost. I needed to find a way to soothe him and help him in my own way, just like Miyu did only staying beside him. I wished to have that gift of hers, I wanted to be helpful in his life and heart as our little girl was but I could have enough just to calm him this once.

That was why I gathered all my determination and love and I got closer to him once more carefully and slowly reaching up for his body to wrap my arms around his tense being. I feared for him to react badly to my advance and I dreaded horribly the possibility of injuring or harming him in any way. That could only make his situation worse, I repeated myself. Soon my arms grabbed softly his arms again as I heard his harsh and uneven breathing and I threw myself to his chest wrapping my arms protectively around his shaking figure. He shifted a little trying to get rid off me but I didn't let him go and my arms tighten up around his shoulders hushing in low voice as my hands patted his back caring.

"Everything is fine… I'm here, I'm here…" I repeated softly and with eyes filled with rebel tears and my throat hurting as I hushed at him soothingly. "Calm down, there's nothing to worry about, it's not real, it's not real, you and I are, just you and I are."

Surprisingly and relieving I was aware that he in fact was calming down little by little in my embrace. He was still trapped in his world but at least he wasn't trying to run away from me and I thanked that without lessening my strength holding his beloved body. I went on patting his back in the same soothing pattern hushing and I wondered sadly and preoccupied and really interested in what he saw in his hallucinations that seemed to hurt him so much. I could still see the pain shadowing the expression I could look besides the cloth blindfolding him and I really wanted to know what was in that world inside his mind that made him suffer so much.

"What do you see, Sasuke-kun? Who do you see? Who do you hear?"

I said lowly more to myself in my pondering than asking him but he seemed to react somehow to my questioning and his restlessness appeared again with force and I had to hold him tighter to not let him go. Shaking in worry and love I was able to contain him in the prison of my arms and I felt proud in my deep sadness and hurting ache. _What can I do to help you, Sasuke-kun?_ I asked myself as I stared with blurry eyes at his pale face still grimacing in inner and emotional hurt.

_I wish I could understand your pain._

"Everything is fine, don't worry, Sasuke-kun. I'm here, I'm here. I'm real."

I said again like a soft prayer and I dared to untied one of my arms from my hold on him to take my free hand to his cheek and caressed it softly. My touching seemed to startle him but instead of trying to pull away he stilled and I was relieved. Still I could see the pain in his pale face and his tense body and just imagining his black profound eyes wearing it harmed my soul. Bracing myself and my unshed tears I lifted my head up till I had his lips at my reach and I brushed them softly at first to kiss them sweetly and softly then. I hadn't wanted to take some kind of advantage over him right now that he was so lost but I couldn't help myself having him so close and so pained. Maybe my kiss wouldn't mean anything in his life but at least I had kissed him trying to show him that I was saying the truth and that we both were the only ones totally real in that room. I wanted him to have something to hold on before unfortunately going for his meds to the table and give them to him even against my own will. _Just one simple and little kiss,_ I told myself remembering that sometimes it took just a little kiss to discover a lot of things.

His body relaxed completely in my tight embrace as I kissed him and it didn't bother me or depress me that he in fact didn't kiss me back. His reaction was the one I was looking for anyway in this moment and this was all that mattered to me. When I pulled away from his warm and velvety lips he was entirely calm and breathing normally and he wasn't restless or pained anymore. He was the same calm and collected dark haired boy I had known since we were kids and my heart expanded in relief and serenity. I was still holding him and he didn't seem to mind at all and I didn't care that he didn't hold me back. He wasn't pulling away and that meant a lot to me. I had calmed him without meds and I had gained his trust and confidence in a moment probably he couldn't give them to anyone for not recognizing the reality surrounding him. We stood together like that in peaceful silence and comfortable atmosphere and even when I was shying due to what I had done strangely I didn't feel completely awkward or nervous. I smiled inwardly having him in my arms finding joy in such a simple thing. When I guessed that he was totally calm I started to pull away from him and I just let my hands on his arms reassuringly. I smiled gently looking enchanted at him.

"You're ok, Sasuke-kun. Everything will be fine, in one way or another. Let's take you to rest, ok?"

He let me take him to the bed again as I encircled his waist with one of my arms and with the other I grabbed softly his arm and I helped him to sit down again carefully on the mattress. All the while I was happy for my achievement and for seeing him calm again and I wondered sadly if he thought of me in some special way to had let me help him in that way. I didn't want my hopes high again and I shook that thought from my sorrowful mind focusing in this moment and in him.

"I'm going for some water."

I said still smiling softly and I let go of him turning around to go to the table but he surprised and startled me when he reached up and grabbed my wrist tightly pulling me backwards. I turned to face him highly surprised and I stared at him in shock and silence as he was gripping my arm with his eternal and soft coldness clothing his pale face. I couldn't see his eyes right now and I had wanted it so badly but inwardly I felt insecure about it. Perhaps he wasn't looking at me like I was imaging and that caused me fear for rejection. But still he was sitting still and tired with his arm stretched out to me and his fingers encircling my wrist in some way desperate. When I could recover my voice and mind and I got closer to him noticing that he hadn't let me go yet. Probably he had thought that I was going to leave him alone and I got preoccupied when I noticed again his restlessness coming back. He needed his meds right away.

"I'm here Sasuke-kun." I said holding his hand that was grabbing me with my free hand and a small and gentle smile. "Don't worry I'm going only for your medication. I won't leave you alone. I promise."

He seemed to understand me and reluctantly let me go. I felt joy in watching him and imagining that he really wanted _me _there but I guessed that he just didn't want to be all alone and he didn't mind if it was me, Shizune or other who accompanied him in that big white room. Still I felt happy for being here to support him in spite of my true and secret desire and the sadness brought for it. I went to the table and kept doing noises to remind him of my presence. When I returned to his side I noticed sad and worried how he clutched the sheets in his fists tightly balled and how his breathing was a little harsh and the big effort he was doing to control himself and not give importance to whatever it was here in this room in his mind. Immediately I gave him his medication and then I sit down beside him holding one of his hands between mine on top of my lap. I run my thumb along the top of his trembling hand soothingly as I watched concerned and pained how the medication started to have effect on him. Little by little his breathing calmed and his other hand let go the crumbled sheets and his slight shaking dismissed. The suffering painted in the parts of his face I could see was lessening too and I felt relieved and happy for it. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder but I didn't dare. Things had already happened to try other one even if I wanted it so badly.

We stayed in silence and in the same position the time I still had till Shizune and Naruto came and they found us like that when they arrived. I watched sadly how they raised their eyebrows curiously and shocked to see us so close and calm. Naruto's blue eyes sparkled like a Christmas tree and Shizune blushed like if she had caught us in a worse situation. I wanted to tell Naruto to not think what it wasn't but I couldn't with Sasuke-kun there. I wasn't sure if he could comprehend everything that was going on around him. Shizune had brought him something to eat and I knew it was my time to go. I was worried for Miyu even if I knew she was in good hands. Naruto helped me to take Sasuke-kun to the table where he sat down with our blond best friend.

"I'll come tomorrow, Sasuke-kun." I said to him as a farewell as I untangled our hands and I watched touched, hopeful and surprised his reluctance for me to do it. Naruto's look shone again like fireworks and Shizune averted her eyes. I almost rolled mine wanting them to stop this but instead I smiled sad wanting inwardly to believe what they believed. "Be nice and take care."

Finally my hand was free and suddenly it felt so empty and cold. I walked to the door after she took off the cloth that blinded him and I couldn't dare to look at his face finally knowing what had happened between us a moment ago. A warm and red blush covered my cheeks against my will and I forced myself to not lock my yearning eyes on him. I didn't want to see the result of my actions, thoughtless actions by the way, and his rejection. Maybe he thought I was such an annoying fangirl. I was dying to see his black profound eyes but I made a big effort to not waver in my decision. The memory of the kiss and the hug were too fresh in my mind and body to be really prepared to see him straight at the face. That's why I didn't directly see him but that didn't mean I couldn't observe him from the distance. He didn't try to catch my eyes either and that caused me contradictory feelings. I was sad because it meant that he didn't give it importance and it hurt me and made me think that I had done well not meeting his glance and I was relieved because he didn't react badly at it. Besides, I had the bad feeling that if I looked right now at his eyes it was like accepting the horrifying truth the Council had decided for him. Tomorrow I was going to see his eyes, I promise to myself, tomorrow I'll do it and a way to save his sight would be known. Tomorrow, I repeated sadly hopeful inwardly. What a mess I was. I stopped gazing back at the two young men in silence for a little moment and I chuckled happily but still worried and sorrowful at the scene where Naruto was already chatting cheerfully and exuberantly and Sasuke-kun ate slowly. I could almost see how normally his reaction towards our one future day Hokage would be in other time and I almost laughed at it. Some things don't change thankfully.

"You did a very well job, Sakura." Shizune said after she had asked me briefly how everything was and I told her in a short way not sharing the awkward moments between my Uchiha and me. "And I'm so relieved that the treatment is starting to work. That was why he wasn't more violent when the meds started to fade away. Before he could have tried to hurt you for sure."

"Thank Tsunade-sama for that. But he's still edgy and jumpy when the meds aren't working anymore."

"You're right. We cannot give him the complete treatment due to the sedatives the other medic nin gave him by the Council's orders." She confided me when I had showed my deep worry about it. I nodded frowning angered. "Tsunade-sama will take care of it, don't worry. It's imperative for him to have the whole treatment the sooner he can."

Yeah. I knew that probably Tsunade-Sama could fix that without a lot of problem. But after I had said goodbye to her and Naruto and I left the hospital behind me to go to Ino's house to pick Miyu up, I remembered again the more important matter at hand right now.

To save Sasuke-kun's freedom and even more important, his sight.

I sighed tearful and saddened still not knowing what to do, how to help. How to save him from it. That incessant worry didn't leave me as I picked up Miyu and I said a brief hello to her, Tenten and Hinata and I decided to go home to prepare myself to go at least some hours to work. Mother had told me that she would come to take care of Miyu and probably she was going to arrive soon so I had to hurry up. I barely talked with my friends because we all had things to do, Hinata and Tenten had training and paper work of missions to do and Ino was going to work too and I had to return to the hospital but not to stay again with my dark eyed blindfolded young man this time. It was going to be hard to be in the same building where he was without going to that big white room to at least see him. I had agreed with Kakashi-Sensei in his decisions concerning Sasuke-kun and besides I had work to attend to and I had to act maturely and wisely and not give a bad impression to the Council that could endanger Sasuke-kun's situation.

And I had to keep thinking in a way to help him.

After I arrived at home my mother came by moments later and she kindly prepared us something to eat. The few moments Miyu couldn't listen to us or wasn't paying attention at us I told her about the decision that had been taken about my child's father and I could cry a little telling her. I guessed it was too much to handle for me without my mask of strength I was trying to wear so desperately in front of everyone. She listened to understanding and sweet and she really was concerned and emphatic at Sasuke-kun's destiny. After taking a shower, eating something and rest a little I went back to the hospital but to work and not visit. I was going to work a few hours till midnight just to have something to occupy my mind and more importantly, my job meant a lot to me. I worked hard and focusing more than usual in the few hours I was a medic nin and Ino helped me a lot to laugh a little when she was with me and shared her dates with Sai with me. I knew she was trying to distract me and I was touched and grateful for those moments of relief and girl talk. We went to home together still chatting about her relationship with Sai and she knew by instinct that I didn't want to talk about Sasuke-kun because my voice was going to fail me as miserably as my eyes. So I enjoyed her talking and sharing even when I felt embarrassed when she confessed me that Sai and she had finally _acted_ more romantically. I guessed that sooner or later they would probably _go for it_. I knew that she didn't mind to not wait till they got married like Hinata or Tenten.

The next day I didn't mind to wake up early to have all the morning with Sasuke-kun again like Kakashi-Sensei had proposed and soon Miyu and I were on our way back to the hospital, that was almost our second home. I had told her that probably this time she was going to see her father and she was shining in happiness and delight. I hoped for be it true. Shizune had told me yesterday that today was ok for her to visit him and my hope wasn't crushed when she was already waiting for us and I was glad to see her not tired anymore. She was radiant and very much alive and gave me the good news that finally Tsunade-Sama had permission to treat Sasuke-kun. I sighed relieved and happy for it, still sad and worried for the other good news I was still expecting but this was a good one. Tsunade-sama was busy with Hokage's activities but she still was fighting hard to help Sasuke-kun and that gave me hope still. Little maybe, but it existed. So after chatting briefly with Shizune outside the big white room I entered and my heart leaped in joy and happiness when I saw him sitting on the bed still and cleaned up. His black velvety hair was wet and he was wearing different hospital's clothes. He seemed to be expectant about something.

"Dada!"

Miyu squealed in my arms stretching her little pale arms to him and Shizune giggled behind me as I smiled. Sasuke-kun listened to her clear and high voice and turned immediately to the sound and I smiled wider when I noticed his obvious interest and even happiness, in his own way, for having Miyu there. The little girl kept calling him and wanting to go with him and I obeyed smiling coming over and after greeting him I put Miyu in his arms and soon our little daughter was jumping in bliss in his arms smiling and giggling enthusiastic. I returned to my former spot where Shizune was still watching over us and I looked at the two dark haired beings my heart loved entranced as Sasuke-kun held her sweetly and tightly. She was so happy right now.

"He won't lose it this time. Don't worry, Miyu can stay all she wants. Naruto and Kakashi-Sensei told me that he behaved very well and was pretty calm almost all the time they were accompanied him and that's good. And the rest of your friends came by too to visit and support him." She paused and I nodded still staring thoughtful at the both. "You know," Shizune added a little suspiciously. "I think he was waiting for you to come back."

I didn't look at her or say anything. In other times I could have turned to face her totally in awe and utterly hopeful wanting and believing like when I was younger. But right now, after all that had happened, I had vowed to myself to not let any little weird clue to fill me again with hope. It wasn't that I didn't want it to be true, I desired it with all my soul, but I had learned to protect my heart even a little after all that had happened. I didn't want to dream when that dream can end so easily in one minute. That's why I kept glancing adoringly at the both in silence and with a soft smile remembering that I wasn't in that role here. When my silence seemed to give an answer to Shizune she insightful just patted my shoulder a little embarrassed and emphatic.

"I'll leave you then. I have some things to do. I'll see you at noon."

"Thank you." I said finally turning to face her calm and smiling. She just nodded. "For everything. It's just that I don't want to dream again. The awakening is always too hard to stand."

I said sincerely after a brief pause lowering my crystal gaze and folding my arms over my chest and sighing deeply. She just nodded again.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

I said honestly facing her and smiling serenely. She just smiled gently at me and soon she was gone. I stayed in my spot glancing happily and smiling at the father and his child truly happily and for that moment I forget the dark destiny hovering over Sasuke-kun's head. I contented myself going to sit at the table and I read again the medic files watching over them from time to time. I put special attention at the new notes Shizune or Tsunade-sama had written lately. Miyu kept babbling looking sweetly and happy at him and when after a while she reached up to touch his face with her little hands and touched the special cloth covering his eyes I fixed my worried and sad glance on them. She seemed interested in that and probably was wondering in her innocent way why he was wearing something like that. Sasuke-kun kissed her forehead softly and lowered her curious hands from his face holding her tightly and gently at the same time as she looked up with a lot of questioning and concern in the little frown formed in her cute face. I felt so sad watching that damn thing preventing them to really enjoy their time together that I frowned thoughtful and balling my fists in response at my strangled emotion. Shizune had said that I could take it off if Sasuke-kun really needed it, like for eating or going to the bathroom and yesterday I had made a promise that I wanted to accomplish come what may. So standing up decisive I walked to the bed where the man I love was with my little daughter and I took my hands to his face. I noticed that he was aware of my nearness and he looked up trying to find me with the mere sense of hearing. Miyu stared at me curiously and I smiled at her. Soon my hands untied the cloth blinding him and slowly I took it off facing straight at his handsome face bracing myself. He had his eyes closed and slowly started to open them and I watched mesmerized how he blinked trying to focus and adjust to the light little by little. Our little girl clapped her hands smiling sweetly.

And then, he fixed his black beautiful eyes on mine.

And I stared back looking calm in the outside but falling apart in the inside.

And we both looked at the each other with no other noise besides Miyu's intent of talking. He stared at me with his common cold serenity and seriousness and that slight arrogance and I stared at him calm and normally, like if yesterday hadn't really happened. I forced myself to not look nervous or shy or awkward, to not blush even a slight shade of pink and to act like if yesterday it wasn't me. I knew it was childish and coward but I couldn't do anything else. I was too ashamed for holding and kissing him yesterday when I had promised myself to leave that behind.

"Dada! Dada!"

Thank heavens Miyu was here. She broke the tense moment between us and I faced her then smiling widely.

"Now the two of you can really enjoy the moment."

I said simply just looking casually for a second to Sasuke-kun asking him if it was ok and after he frowned glaring at me with a hint of preoccupation that surprised me, he returned his eyes free from the cloth to Miyu and his whole face softened. I went back to my spot at the table and I tried to pretend I was busy with the medic file once more but almost all my attention was over them. It was so cute and adorable to see them sharing time. I wondered why Sasuke-kun had looked at me in that way and I wondered how much he remembered of yesterday. Probably he could think it was just a damn dream. I prayed to be like that but with my luck, I guessed it was all the way around. I sighed and watched them from my chair really happy and calm for the longest moment in the last hours. Staying with the both in that way had erased from my mind momentarily all the worries and fears.

Those were the hours I enjoyed and treasured more, when Miyu simply stayed in his arms talking or painting or cuddling against him and he put all his attention to her. I could swear I saw him smiling softly but I couldn't really be pretty sure about it. And I spent it in my corner looking at the scene with a simple smile splattered on my face as my green gaze followed their actions with devotion. I was a little worried when I noticed his paleness and the soft black rings around his eyes but he seemed a lot better than days before. From time to time casually he averted his eyes and our looks crossed but it was just like the moments we had shared after Naruto's mad plan. We both acted casually like if yesterday didn't existed and his eyes looked at me in the same old way that I adore in spite of the lack of interest for me. Somehow I felt like if he was waiting something from me or like if he didn't expect to see me here. Shizune had told me that he perfectly knew what the Council had decided about him but he had reacted in his usual demeanor. I wondered what he truly felt about losing his sight and therefore, his abilities. She had told me that he had looked angered but he didn't do a fuss about it and Kakashi-Sensei had thought that he really didn't want to cause another catastrophe and that was why he had reacted that way. Could it be true? Perhaps Sasuke-kun didn't want the Mangekyou Sharingan anymore, or maybe he thought the price was too high. Could he think that he would be saved from this and that was why he didn't acted more aggressively? Could he really think this was the best way to deal with it?

I didn't know and I wanted so bad to understand his motivations but I just sighed tiredly and spacing out in my musings. I caught his look on me by the corner of my eyes and I noticed the same weird and confused curiosity. Feeling that the blush could return I focused again clearing my throat in the papers on the table and I pretended again to be busy while really my mind was out of the room and out of the building reminding me that the time had almost ended and I hadn't found a way to help him. An hour before the noon Shikamaru appeared and called me with a gesture of his hand to the doorframe. He only greeted Sasuke-kun with a nod of his head and the latter just nodded back narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Miyu was in his lap drawing and painting. I came over the wise Jounin as he was with that serious, lost and boring face he usually wears but today there was something else in his eyes and I was curious about it.

"Hello Shikamaru. What's up?"

I asked nicely as he shifted his deep gaze from me to the bed where Sasuke-kun was with Miyu. I wanted to turn around to see why he was watching them but I was more interested in how odd his actions seemed to me. Shikamaru motioned to me to step out of the big white room and I frowned suspicious and concerned. He didn't want to talk in front of Sasuke-kun and that alarmed me immediately. I followed him and closed the door behind me and I didn't leave his face once. When we were outside the room he let out a deep sigh before speaking lowly and clearly.

"Tonight will be the last meeting with the Council to finally decide where to transfer him and when to execute their order to, you know." I did know. To blind him. I nodded and my chest pained as I tried to breathe normally but I looked serious and focused at my friend. "I know Tsunade-sama or Shizune was going to communicate this to you and the others but I wanted you to know it first." He paused and I knew that he had something pretty big inside that brain of his about Sasuke-kun's situation. The little hope leaped inside my heart. "I have been thinking in this for the last couple of days and I had gotten to a conclusion to help him and save him."

"What is it?!"

I asked desperate frowning between hope, gratefulness and concern. I had forgotten him in all this, I had forgotten that he was a genius and probably he could find a way to get Sasuke-kun out of this. Maybe the answer wasn't totally logical like the one Tsunade-sama or I expected but whatever that could help my Uchiha would be better than the current situation. I was so divided between hope and fear that my body shook a little from the emotions running through it. It was tonight… he had said it. Today was the last day, _the day_, the dateline. Shikamaru averted his black insightful eyes a second before answering me in his voice calm and low.

"I had thought in two ways to do this but I'll tell you the first. I need time to really know if the second one can be possible and I want you to really think in what the both could mean."

I nodded at him frowning and knowing perfectly that I had been right. They weren't easy ways as our Hokage or me wanted or expected to find. I felt dread but saving Sasuke-kun was more important right now.

"The first one is to get him out of Konoha but never come back. He would have to start a new life with a new identity till the Council eventually cut him some slack or just give up. He could not return here by any chance of course."

As he talked and his words sunk inside my shocked brain I knew that he was pretty serious and right about this. I hadn't thought in it because I didn't want Sasuke-kun out of his homeland and away from Miyu, away from… me. That mere possibility hurt me incredibly and I couldn't even dare to consider it but I knew Shikamaru was right. This was a good way to save him even when it meant that he was going to be far away from his village, from his daughter, from his friends, from… me. The pain of that showed clearly in my face and my eyes watered but I controlled the brutal emotions ravaging my mind and heart. Shikamaru noticed the effect of his words on me and patted my shoulder gently. He was like that, just supporting me for a long moment in silence as I pondered about it in solitude.

"I know it's hard to think about it but is one chance. I'll tell you later the other one when I'm sure about it, ok?"

He brought me back with that and I nodded feeling a little hope about the second way he had found to save Sasuke-kun. Could it be worse than this one? Just thinking it like that made me shudder in despair, fear and sadness. He nodded at me with a little smile of empathy before he was soon gone and I was left standing all alone in the long hall hearing his words inside my head over and over. If this was the only chance to get Sasuke-kun out of this cruel destiny then I knew I had to accept it even meaning what it meant. Losing him completely. I wanted to cry but I heard Miyu calling me and I sighed deeply and closed my eyes for a moment before coming in again in the room. She was calling me to show me a drawing of me and her together with her father and I had to smile and praise her work pretending that I was totally fine when I really wasn't it. I hugged her doing a big effort to not burst in tears imaging me explaining her why her father had left Konoha and I kissed her forehead caressing her black hair. I couldn't dare to lock eyes with Sasuke-kun fearing he could read me like an open book but I felt his intense glare on me. I kept my eyes glued to the drawing Miyu was still finishing as I heard her telling us what else she wanted to paint there and my mind was lost in Shikamaru's words and the hope of a better way to save him and keep him close to us.

Thankfully the lunch hour came and Shizune appeared with Naruto and trays of food and drinks. My blond best friend was like always, scandalous and cheerful in spite of his inner mood and greeted us noisily and happily while Shizune stared for a moment surprised at Sasuke-kun who wasn't wearing the cloth but she just smiled at me instead of scolding me for taking it off. I looked at my little girl giggling at her clothes dotted with paint. I gathered her in my arms kissing her cheek.

"You need to change sweetie. After lunch Hinata and Tenten will take you to the Hyuuga house."

"Mamma work?"

She asked me smiling kindly and I nodded ignoring the fact that Sasuke-kun was right beside me and all the feelings that stirred up in me.

"Yes, honey. I'll work some hours later. Now, let's go to change your clothes."

I carried her and the bag I had always with me when I take her out with her things in cases like this one and I went to the bathroom as Shizune excused herself and waved a goodbye to us and Naruto pulled Sasuke-kun by his hand annoying cutely him calling him to come to eat. They acted such like children sometimes.

Inside the bathroom I changed Miyu into new clothes and as I was digging in her bag and she was brushing her hair murmuring sweetly a tune suddenly that I didn't recognize, one of my hands found something in the deep part of the bag. remembered that Sasuke-kun had given her this bag in her last birthday. My eyes filled with tears again being reminded of Shikamaru's words but I focused in the paper I had now in my hand. It looked like some sort of letter. I opened it slowly and carefully really interested and confused and when I recognized the handwriting my heart skipped beats and my lungs stopped breathing suddenly. It was very familiar to the one I had come to know very good in former years, but now it was misshaped but I was pretty sure that it belonged to the same person. I stayed without hearing anything and still as a statue with the letter in my hand, gazing surprised and shocked at the letters on it. When my green eyes read the date and my name, the letter was for me, I didn't have any more doubts. The letter had been written by the person who was in the room outside the bathroom's door. It belonged to the only man I had loved truly all my life.

It belonged to him.

I remembered to breathe and my heart was beating normally again and I gathered enough courage to start reading it hopeful and afraid of what it could be found behind those lines. _Don't be hopeful_, I remembered myself. And when I finished reading it I knew I had been right and my fear had been rewarded perfectly. I didn't have hope to have his heart and I feared that he could find another way to crush my hope like he had done it right now just with paper and ink. I stayed looking at the emptiness with the letter still in my heart for a moment before I looked down once more with my eyes filled with crystallized tears and immense sadness and pain. The date was just from days after Miyu's birthday party.

_I'm not interested in you. I don't love you. You're the mother of my child by casualty and I thank you that. I love Miyu even when I didn't plan to have her. I want you to do your life with other man and don't wait more for me because it will never happen. The best that could happen is for you to hate me for telling you the truth. I don't want to see you anymore to not give you false hopes. I only have interest in my daughter and in being a good ninja like before. Forget me._

It was harsh and straight to the point but I guessed that he had just written what he could and not beating around the bush to soften his opinions with more sentences of empathy. I gripped the paper tightly in my fist shaking in sadness and suffering as some tears escaped my rebel eyes. I had to remember myself that Miyu was in the same room as me and I didn't want for her to see me crying in misery and pain so I did an extreme effort to control the flood of my feelings and thoughts taking war inside of me. The only good thing was that I had been somehow prepared to not be fully hopeful for a change of his heart about me, ever, and that was why I wasn't crying my eyes and heart out and stormed in desperation and depression for knowing once more that he will never love me back. I was hurt right now, I was saddened beyond repair and I felt like a stupid for the twinge of hope I had felt a little when I knew the letter was from him and he had written it _for me_. That was the emotion on top of all, sadness. Smashing and crushing sorrow. I didn't have time and space to let this bury me in it so I reminded myself that this has been always the reality. He had only been completely honest about his feelings as I had been and I couldn't reproach him for it. I couldn't force him to love me not matter what I do for him, I will always be only the mother of his child and a companion for that, nothing more. I had always known, so I forced myself to suck it up and accept it once more and I supposed the letter was the reason why he had been staring so intensely and suspiciously at me. Probably he thought that I had read it and he was confused by my presence there in spite of it. Now I felt like a total stupid fangirl. He probably had thought that I didn't mind and I was begging for him to notice me, to love me. How pathetic I was.

I cleared my throat and dried my tears immediately when I heard Miyu calling me and I turned to her smiling the wider and happier I could in the moment with my heart broken and feeling quite foolish for being affected like this about something I had known for a long time. Miyu watched me worried.

"Mamma cry?"

"I'm just a little tired, sweetie. It's ok."

I said motioning her to sit on my lap as I was sitting at the edge of the bathtub and she concerned and gentle came to me and reached up for me to carry her. I did it and I sat her down on my lap embracing her from behind with pure and utter love. I kissed the top of her head controlling my emotions affecting my body. I didn't cry anymore. She, like understanding me in her own weird way and mysterious for her young age, grabbed my hand and clutched it reassuringly. I kissed her cheek grateful and smiling and we were interrupted by a hard and loud knock on the door.

"Sakura-chan?"

Naruto called me cautious and serious. There was some concerned edge in his voice that alarmed me because I felt it wasn't exactly directed to me.

"Yeah? What is it? We're ready."

I said with the most normal voice I could muster.

"Tsunade-sama wants to talk to us."

That was it. I stood up immediately putting the ball of paper inside the bag and taking it with me and Miyu to the door. I opened it quickly and I was in front of Naruto who stared at me trying to tell me something. When his eyes motioned to Sasuke-kun who was still eating at the table with a serious Shizune accompanied him I understand his urgency for me to catch it. Miyu looked confused at the both of us still in my arms. My blue eyed friend didn't want to disrupt Sasuke-kun right now. And by the way his face was paler, serious and angered; I knew things had gone bad for Sasuke-kun. The hope disappeared immediately from my heart and the fear consummated me instantly. This was the end.

"Give me Miyu." Shizune said suddenly staring at us with a pretended calm and smile. "She needs to eat. I'll take care of her."

I nodded watching by the corner of my eyes my Uchiha glaring at Naruto and me suspiciously but we both didn't dare to fix our glances on him. Naruto just waved a cheerful goodbye and pulled my by the wrist quickly as he made the way out of the big white room. I followed him waving a happy (I hoped to be it at least) goodbye to Miyu who was calm and watchful sitting in Shizune's lap after I had given her to the medic nin. I noticed the worry and confusion in my little girl's eyes and that crushed me but she smiled softly and I could only smile back at her with all the love I could show through it. I was lost in thought as I was pulled by and following Naruto by the large and empty halls and my dread grew tides in question of minutes.

"I thought you knew it already."

"Hm?"

We walked fast and together and he let go of my wrist looking miserable, sad and angry. It touched me so much that I wanted to comfort my best friend.

"Because you have been crying." He surprised me with that but I didn't say anything and I kept my eyes on the floor, just like him. "But this is sooner that we expected. We heard that it would be decided till tonight."

I nodded again with the pressure of everything trying to squash me mercilessly. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't break into pieces, be strong, _I repeated myself as a mantra frowning to prevent my unshed emotional tears to spill out from my crystallized jade eyes. I was lost in my world of worry, despair and pain when we entered into another big white room where Tsunade-sama was already waiting with Kakashi-Sensei, Ino, Sai and Hinata. Shikamaru wasn't there. My heart resurrected a little when I remembered our talk hours ago when the little hope wanted to enter it. But I couldn't hope again, not again, not in vain, because the reality was always harder than I thought to handle.

"The Council had taken a decision about where to send Sasuke." Tsunade-sama said going straight to the point. She was wearing the same face as Naruto. Kakashi-Sensei was death serious and concerned while Ino and Hinata were saddened and worried. Sai was unreadable as always but his dark eyes showed some sincere emotion. I sighed deeply frowning in controlled suffering and preparing myself. "They'll send him to an institution for ninjas mentally injured in the Land of the Wind. He will be secluded there for the rest of his life. They'll put him under surveillance all day and night." She paused with honey eyes filled in fire of anger. "I presented the possible case about the sabotage done to his treatments and meds as the reason to make him act violently and dangerously and how that destroyed the excellent work we had been doing to get him better. But it's useless. Everyone is scared and tired of him and no one wants to risk anything for suppositions even when I knew that freaked out them. They didn't like me finding the source of the problem even if I cannot exactly prove it. I cannot... do anything more for him."

Just as she had said that Naruto started to yell and act desperately again and soon Ino joined him trying to debate with Tsunade-sama and Kakashi-Sensei as Sai and Hinata just listened to in silence. I just heard them talking and discussing in desperate way about the situation in general lost in my own world of worry, sadness and pain. This was the end. They were going to take Sasuke-kun away from us and probably we weren't going to see him as often as we wanted. I remembered Shikamaru's option and frowning I decided that he was right. At least if he was away from Konoha and us due to an escape we will have a way to contact him and he will be away from the Council's grasp. I preferred that a million times than their decision. My emerald eyes filled with unshed tears and some of them fell down when I blinked realizing I had taken a decision. I sighed deeply bracing myself in the strength I could reunite in my soul and when I was ready to tell Tsunade-sama what Shikamaru and I had discussed I heard someone calling me from the doorframe in low voice, almost hushing. I turned around and I saw Shikamaru standing there and motioning me to follow him. The others were so busy discussing desperate and worried that they didn't put attention in me when I walked over him and I went out the room following Shikamaru with quick steps. Outside in the hall we stopped and we were very close to each other as he frowned serious and thoughtful staring at me. I blinked waiting for him to talk first, before telling him that his first choice was way better than the reality.

"The second chance to save Sasuke is a possibility. But it is your decision, mainly, because it involves you directly. I wanted to be sure that you were going to consider it. Did you think in what I say to you first?"

"I did." I paused hurt just remembering what asked of me his first option. "I had already taken the decision to go along with it."

Shikamaru nodded with a soft smirk that surprised me.

"Then you're ready to hear the second choice. Believe it or not, it is a lot harder than the first one. For you, mostly."

"I don't care. Just tell me and then I'll decide. It doesn't matter, just saving him is important."

Yes, that was all that mattered. Not even the letter I had read moments ago can endanger my true desire to help Sasuke-kun. It wasn't the case. If he didn't and couldn't love me ever then it was ok. I had always tried to accept it anyway. But that didn't mean that I didn't want the best for him and not only for being my daughter's father. I loved him, truly and sincerely, and even if he wasn't for me and he had hurt me with intention or not, I was going to help him not matter what. Because I love him and I wanted to protect him and I didn't want to see him suffering.

"Alright." I nodded curious and hopeful at Shikamaru's petition standing with all my will prepared. "Then, let's begin."

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_Kakashi POV_

Shikamaru and Sakura returned to the room with serious and decisive looks on their faces. We had been silent after we had discussed about the Council's decision and I felt so powerless and useless knowing that I couldn't do anything to help Sasuke right now. I knew all of us felt the same. The silence was broken when my pink haired former student frowned with a firm expression on her pale face and I knew she had decided something. Shikamaru stayed behind against the wall and near the closed door with his arms crossed across his chest and meditative stare.

"I'm going to marry Sasuke-kun."

Her words left us speechless, shocked and with gaping mouths in total awe. Sakura just smiled weakly with true determination and happiness in her jade eyes.

"What are you saying?"

Tsunade-sama asked disbelieving and stunned. Now we all were looking at the young medic nin with deep concern. I feared she had somehow broken down due in what terrible situation the man she loved so much was. But there was something so firm and hopeful in the deep of her green orbs that told me otherwise. She was facing our Hokage and me as her friends stared at her still shocked and quiet.

"I'm going to marry Sasuke-kun. If the Council wants to play dirty, we'll play it like that." She was suddenly serious and decisive. "Tsunade-Sama, you said that Sasuke-kun didn't have family that can be responsible or him. That can be taken as a lie if we counted Miyu as his daughter and I'm her mother so it's totally understandable and logical for us to marry. I think almost everyone in Konoha knows how much I love him." She smiled sadly but with a spark of honesty written all over her face. "They didn't specify what kind of family they were referring to and so, playing like them this game, I can take advantage over that. A marriage is a sign of maturity and stability, so, what's better than that? It's true that Miyu calms him better than anyone. With her Sasuke-kun would be on check and I achieved to gain his trust too. As my husband I can take care of him perfectly and with all the right and I'll have solely right on his life. I'm ready to take the responsibility and risk everything to save him. And if they still don't want to respect my rights as his wife then I'll take this to the heads of the Land of Fire or to every length I have to go to help him. You said that they're kind of scared of your discovery about their involvement and if they're like that, it's because they think it is possible for you to have or look for proofs to testify against them. Don't you see it? I can take advantage of that too."

"You want to directly lie about that. You want them to believe that we have them somehow cornered."

Tsunade-sama stated impressed, thoughtful and narrowing her eyes in worry. Sakura nodded smirking.

"If I have to lie and pretend that I can prove what they did to highest authorities, I'll do it. Just like they have been plotting against Sasuke-kun mercilessly. They're probably fearing to lose their ranks and roles. That's what I think they won't have a problem with the marriage. If I have to make the proofs real to battle against them, I'll do it and I won't drag anyone in it with me. This is my idea and my plotting." My former female student said seriously as the words seemed to be sinking inside our Hokage's wise brain. "But I'm going to marry him even if I have to drag him to it. It's decided."

I stared at her in awe of how much she loved Sasuke to decide something like this. I knew nothing we could say would change her mind. I was proud of her even in a situation like this. She looked so strong and serene right now. But still I have to tell her to see it like it was and how it could affect her and her life even if my words could hurt her deeply.

"Sakura, this is going to be a sacrifice, a great sacrifice to do. You know he doesn't feel the same for you. Your feelings are too strong and true but they won't ever be reciprocated probably. Are you sure you want to go on with this even knowing what kind of life you will have with him?"

I asked her sadly and worried but she didn't hesitate a bit. She nodded with a soft smile and grateful glance for my concern for her well being and still decisive and firm. Naruto was staring contemplative and still surprised at her. Tsunade-sama, who knew her well as me for once being her sensei, was analyzing her serious, moved and preoccupied. Ino and Hinata were amazed and touched for her devotion towards Sasuke and Sai was somehow trying to understand her decision shocked by the impression of her choice.

"I want to do it in spite of that. I want my daughter to have her father free and with his sight. I want Sasuke-kun to enjoy being her father because it is the only good thing he has that belongs to him right now. She's his family. And she makes him happy and she soothes him like no medicine can do in the world." She paused sighing with a sad smile and shining eyes and looking at all of us. "I know what I'm doing. I'm conscious about it. I know it will be a fake marriage and that I'll never have his love. But it doesn't matter to me. I'll regret it all my life if I don't do something I can do now to help him even if it is a sacrifice to make. I know I'll have hard times and I know what expects me in the way but that is nothing if I can save him. That's all that matters to me. I could have decided to help him to escape from this, from Konoha, but away from here and from all of us is something even harder to think than marrying him even without him loving me. I can't bear the thought of having him away and alone. I simply can't stand the possibility of keeping him away from Miyu when I can do something to keep him safe, protected and loved here. That's going to be my happiness." She paused smiling wider this time as we all stared at her understanding her sincere and open words. "I'm going to marry Sasuke Uchiha so tell the Council that if they want something with him, he's not going to be alone. He has a fiancée and a daughter that will defend him and take care of him."

And with that she turned around and left the room quiet and calm, not tensed, anguished or depressed anymore. The only thing that worried me was Sasuke's opinion over this. Even if Sakura had decided already so firmly, if he said no everything would be useless. Sighing concerned and a little shocked still, I guessed it was my time to lend a hand to two of the members of my former Team 7.


	21. Marrying

Hello to everyone!

I'm sorry for the delay. I had some unexpected difficulties in my life that stopped me from finishing the chapter faster and updating it. I had lost my job and so I don't have Internet as before. Chapter 22 is already started and I hope to have it sooner than this one for you all to read. A special thanks to my betareader, Laury_Uchiha for her amazing work!

Thanks to all of you who take your time to read this story, to whom review it or put it in any of your list of favorites. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. If I forgot someone please forgive me, but I don't have a lot of time like before to check up. I guess all of you are following Naruto's manga, it's very interesting! Anyway, let's move on with the reviews of the last chapter:

AVAuchiha:

Don't worry, Internet and PC's sometimes do weird things, ho, ho, it doesn't bother me tht you sent me a PM, I'm glad you consider the chapter as amazing and that I surprised you with their soon marriage, I hope you enjoy this chapter as the last one at least. Hmmm… I cannot tell you still what Sasuke's feeling are! But maybe you're right and about the length of the chapters… my, my I cannot help myself to do them so long! In fact I like long chapters if they have good things to say of course. Thank you for taking your time to read it! I'll keep it up, don't worry, greetings to you and thank you, thank you!

sonia:

You're very right! Sakura is very loyal to Sasuke in spite of everything. Thank you for saying it was a great plot about the marriage! You were right once more about Sasuke and I cannot tell you if he does love Sakura but maybe you're right like AVAuchiha. Hmmm… what intuitive people I have around! Ho, ho, we'll see… This chapter was long too and I thank you for reading it. I suppose that from here the chapters are going to be of the same length or even longer! Ha, ha, I hope you find this chapter interesting, I'll continue it and don't worry and I'll try to not let you wait long. Thanks a lot!

xx-tenshi-xx:

You hate and love my story at the same time! Thank you! Sorry for making it confusing and doing it the other way around! I guess Sakura doesn't think clearly when Sasuke comes around! I guess she had forgotten about protecting herself putting his safety and her daughter's happiness first even if she's doing it in the wrong way. We need to wait to see if she screws up the situation even more I guess… and Sasuke isn't doing it right either as you say. I really want to know your opinion about this chapter and the next one! Well her friends and teachers cannot force her into anything or change her opinion even if they don't agree. I really love to read your reviews. I understand finally why you hate it and I hope to make a good explanation at the end, I'm dreading that moment now! But thank you for reading it and being hooked! Thanks a lot and don't worry it will continue and I hope I won't cause you a stroke or something because of the next chapters!

C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only:

Do you still need your meds? I'm so so sorry! Thank you for following the story in spite of that! I'm really grateful!

jay-alexis:

Sorry for taking a long time! But I'm back and I promise to update sooner. Thank you for considering the story too good for complain about the delays, it will go on till the end, don't worry, thank you for having faith in me and be patient and feeling proud, thank you! I'll try to not disappoint you updating faster and finishing it, I just hope to keep you around.

Babykat570:

Sorry for taking a looong time. I hope you like this chapter! Thanks, thanks a lot!

Massu Chan:

Thank you for saying that it is a great story and for supporting me till the end! I'll keep it up and I hope to be a good work till now, I hope you like this chapter and to see you around! See you too and thanks a lot!

I hope to see you around soon!

Bye, bye!

**Chapter 21 **

**Marrying**

"What the hell were you thinking when you advised Sakura-chan to decide that?!"

Shikamaru just looked tiredly at the blond and blue-eyed ninja fuming in anger and disbelief. The Hyuuga Heiress was trying to calm him, looking questionably and worriedly at the genius young man. He knew that Ino was staring at him a little shocked and scolding too. Tsunade had to go after Sakura told them this unexpected news just like Sai. Kakashi-sensei was leaning against a wall in deep thought and seemed to be the only one who didn't want to kill him right now. He sighed with his arms crossed over his chest while Naruto was glaring daggers at him.

"I just wanted to help her and Sasuke. I gave her two ways to get him out of this and she picked. Sorry, but you cannot really blame me for her weapon of choice." He shrugged and Ino snorted angrily. "And what the hell are you so angry about? I thought that all of you, especially you Naruto, were going to be happy about it. They're getting married at last."

"I didn't want it to happen like this." Naruto cut in now frowning sadly and less angered towards his friend. He sighed deeply, lowering his look showing how deep in thought he was in fact. Hinata clutched his hand between hers reassuringly. "I wanted it to be for real... not just to pretend something and so... loveless."

"There's love. Just not in both parts."

Ino annoyed and exasperated couldn't help herself, sighed and punched Shikamaru in the arm, making him stumble a little. He rolled his eyes sighing tiredly, knowing that they were right in that part at least.

"Look...I'm sorry that these were the only solutions I could find. But I had to tell Sakura. Give her to choice if she really wanted to help him. I didn't want her to do something on her own without thinking it could worsen the situation."

"You didn't want her to do something worse?"

Ino said ironically, still angry with her old friend and teammate. He rolled his eyes and ignored her.

"But... we still don't know if Sasuke-san will accept it..."

Hinata's concerned words made them see the other important point here. Even if Sakura married him, sacrificing her heart to save and protect him, when Sasuke said "No" to her offer, not even she would be capable of changing his mind. Her will was just one thing, but his...

They were talking about the proud Sasuke Uchiha. The one who didn't love Sakura and who was the kind of person, who would decline the proposal, even if it was the only thing she could do for him. Suddenly they were all silent, thinking about what Sasuke's reaction would be and how Sakura could possibly react to it. Would he say no, would he say yes? And which reasons could he use in his mute state to backup his decision? Naruto turned around all of a sudden, ready to go to the door while Hinata glanced worriedly at him.

The impetuous blonde ninja was paralyzed when Kakashi's hand on his chest stopped him and threw him backwards, making the once nine-tailed beast stumble and almost lose his balance if it hadn't been for Ino and Hinata who caught him before he fell down.

"What the hell was that for?!" Naruto asked still in the pair of hands of the blond and dark haired ones staring confused and angrily at his former sensei. Kakashi just sighed tiredly, looking thoughtful and put himself between Naruto and the door.

"Are you trying to stop me, Kakashi-sensei?!"

"Yes, because Shikamaru has a point." When Naruto and Ino glared at him Kakashi made a gesture begging them to wait for his explanation. "If Sakura has decided something we won't be able to change her mind. We all know her and now that she's determined to do this, we cannot do anything even if we want it and think that she's making a mistake. She would have come out with something worse than the ideas Shikamaru gave her and that's the plain truth. What she feels for Sasuke is beyond comprehension and has blinded her and no matter what we say or do, she's not going to back out."

Naruto lowered his worried and thoughtful look and calmed instantly. Ino sighed desperately knowing that the sensei was right. Hinata was concerned as Shikamaru just stared at the man with a little frown.

"So, the only thing that is up to us is to support her. That's what you're saying."

"That's right." Kakashi answered sincerely and preoccupied to Naruto, who looked sadly at him.

"She's going to do this with or without our support and help. And I guess we all prefer to stick around her till the very end even if this plan of hers backfires someday."

"I understand that. It's just that I'm thinking about Miyu-chan." Naruto said sadly and his baby blue eyes suddenly seemed so frustrated and desperate. The others got serious because they understood where that was coming from.

"She's the innocent one in the middle of this mess. She deserves a loving family with a mom and a dad who love each other truly and totally, not some cold pact. What is going to happen the day Miyu-chan will be able to understand how the thing is between Sakura and Sasuke? Suppose this wedding happens. What if one day Sasuke grows tired of the marriage and decides to leave Sakura? What if one day Sakura grows tired of his coldness and decides to stop sacrificing herself? What then? What about Miyu-chan? What things she would have to see and hear from them? Who's going to protect the girl from that?"

Naruto's heartfelt words left them in silence, pondering about the sincerity in them. Shikamaru couldn't deny that he was right. He sighed tiredly with a little frown of worry. The blond ninja lowered his thoughtful and sad eyes.

"You're right." Kakashi said sadly. "You're very right saying that. But at the end the only ones who will be responsible for that are Sakura and Sasuke. They're her parents in spite of what we think. Let me do what I can to let her see all that she's risking with this decision of hers and let me help Sasuke to realize it too. Both have to know what's the most important thing in the middle of this mess and war. Their daughter. Let me do it, Naruto. If you go you'll just snap and yell and they won't understand it like you really, and all of us, understand. The reason for our worry. I promise I'll talk to them right now. I'll tell them about your honest and worried words." Naruto sighed exasperated at first but gave up nodding with a deep and serious frown. Shikamaru and Ino exchanged glances of agreement with the famous sensei. She still was quite angry with him. Hinata was just attentive to Naruto and still holding his hand. "But let me tell you this. The final decision depends on them and if Sakura gets her way with this mad plan we will have to just give up and support her, support them. Ok?"

The four young ninjas nodded once more firmly and Kakashi smiled calmly giving a thumb up to them.

"I'll do my best."

The young man turned around and left the room leaving the door open with quiet and serene pace. He sighed worriedly not wanting to tell them that he felt it was useless. In fact he felt that he wasn't going to change anything but he was going to try. It was all he could do for the future of his two former students and the peace of mind of the third one. What could he lose anyway just trying to have a talk heart to heart with both?

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_Sakura POV_

After I said all that to my friends, our Hokage and my former sensei, I went back calmly to Sasuke-kun's room. I didn't know how I had ended having so much determination and belief in this little scheme of mine, but I really felt all I had said and I wasn't going to let them win this and take away Sasuke-kun from us forever. When I had heard Shikamaru explaining it to me I was speechless, shocked and saddened. I understood then why he had his reservations in telling me about this second choice and why he had said that it was going to be more difficult and hard for me, why it was a sacrifice for me to do. No marriage should be a sacrifice and I knew that if it was like that it was doomed to end in the worst way one day. Marrying Sasuke-kun was never in my childhood and fangirl's dreams a sacrifice to make. It was all the way around. The wedding of my dreams, marrying the boy I had loved since I was a little dreamy girl. But under these circumstances I understood why my wise friend had called it like that and then the others who already knew of my mad plan. I was going to marry him because I loved him and I wanted to protect him and save him when he, if he accepted, was going to marry me just to be free of his enemies and to stay near our little girl. He wasn't exactly rude or mean with me. He had always been honest about his feelings towards me and Miyu and I appreciated that, no mattering how hurt I was knowing the truth. He was courteous enough and had education to at least treat me with respect besides his common coldness and distance. If he said yes to my crazy decision at least I was sure about that and my childish fear that I was trying to conceal due to this mad plan that I wasn't going to change, tried to find solace and refuge in that knowledge. It could have been worse, couldn't it?

But then as I was walking lost in thought and with a serious and sad expression and foggy eyes through the empty white corridors of the hospital I wondered what I was going to do if he said no. How could I convince him? And what was worse: Did I really deeply want, in a little part of me, a scared part, for him to say no? A scared part that feared for the outcome of this, for more tears to come, for more hurt to feel, for more useless hope to appear. I had decided to marry someone who had told me just moments ago straight through a letter how he felt about me and I didn't care enough to go on with this unexpected and plotted wedding. To anyone and to the real me I'm nothing more than a clingy stupid girl trying desperately and without dignity left to stay glued together to the one who will never love her back. I smirked ironically listening to Inner Sakura laughing mockingly at me and I wondered if the other little part of me, the one that is wrapped in a princess dress and is still waiting for her prince to come to rescue her, a prince that has passed by her side for years and never really looked at her, was expecting childishly and in a fairytale's ingenuity to have a chance like this, just an incredible opportunity like this, to hope and dream again and have the love of her life forever.

But I didn't want to think more in this because even if I could appear firm and determined about this, I had my fears, worries and doubts and I couldn't let them paralyze me and make me back out. _I'm gaining more with this than not doing it_, I repeated to myself giving me courage and belief in my decision. And I had the more important thing to think about in the middle of this mess I had created. Miyu. My brave little girl. Our daughter who was innocent from all the mistakes and stupidities her mother had done since she was inside my belly. She was the worry that crushed and anguished my heart; she was all that mattered on top of my own insecurity and fear. Above my doubts. Was I doing well in marrying Sasuke-kun, her father, under these circumstances? Was this the best for her? Was I doing the best I could do for her? Was my love for her wrong in this? Was I acting for her and for me or just for me?

I stopped sadly and with unshed tears filling my emerald eyes in front of Sasuke-kun's door. I balled my fists tightly with my glistened glance fixed on the floor and slightly trembling in uncertainty and fear. I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to drag Miyu into something that could hurt her. For a moment all my confidence and security fell to the floor like if dust was blown by the wind and I held back a strangled sob wondering confused, sad, worried and panicked what I was doing.

And then I heard Miyu laughing and talking in her mismatched speech and the natural joy, innocence, hope and clarity in that noise filled me with renewed peace of mind. I relaxed my tense and rigid body and I breathed deeply clearing my foggy mind and calming my throbbing heart and I closed my eyes drying the unshed tears as I smiled serenely with happiness and my fists let go of my fears. I listened to her saying something to her dad about hair and I chuckled calmly and happily, finding myself again firm and decided, hopeful and ready to face the consequences and see the truth with my own eyes and I opened the door entering the room with a steady and normal pace. As I lingered in the doorframe, watching at the bed where the two dark haired beings I loved with all my soul were away from the world that was plotting against their happiness I noticed that Miyu had finished doing Sasuke-kun's hair and now he had little braids and ponytails and I couldn't help to chuckle and giggle at the scene. Sasuke-kun and Miyu turned around to face me and they found me amused by that and the pouting and frowning he wore then in his pale expression just shut me up but I couldn't help to notice that in fact he wasn't glaring or sulking at me for it. It was just like a game. I smiled warmly to Miyu who asked him to put her on the floor and as I watched her come my way in little happy jumps motioning to her father and talking about her _well done job_ I was sure then that Sasuke-kun saw it as a game for her. It's amazing how she could soften him in ways no one in the world could do it and how he couldn't be angry with her innocent games even if he had to lose a little of his stance as the proud, unreachable and never embarrassed Uchiha he had always paroled about.

"Dadas peetty!"

She said reaching out and pulling me from my skirt and motioning me to lean and look at her. I did as my sunshine wanted patting her head softly with the happy face she always puts on my face.

"Yes, sweetie. He is." I said as I took her in my arms and I carried her bouncing her little weight in my hip and looking back at Sasuke-kun who just stared at us with serious but calm and somehow kind face. The one he only puts for her. "Your father is a cute man."

I kissed her cheek adoringly, making her giggle as I tried to not chuckle at the murderous glance Sasuke-kun gave me for that comment and I walked to the bed holding her with one of my hands and with the other picking up the last drawings she did and were sprawled on the mattress. Sasuke-kun helped me immediately and we both took the same drawing from a different part staring at it silently for long seconds immersed in the shapes and colors our little girl put there with her little skilled hands. My green eyes glistened immediately when I realized that she had painted Sasuke-kun, me and herself together inside what it seemed to be a little house. The whole picture was filled with bright and shining colors and the three little people (three sticks with a circle as head) were clearly smiling and happily holding hands. I blinked and gulped, trying to evaporate the damn tears springing in my damn eyes and I couldn't dare to see what Sasuke-kun's reaction was. I kept my eyes on the drawing and somehow a little unexpected smile was plastered on my face with easiness and true serenity.

"Home" Miyu said suddenly pointing at the drawing happily. "Dada, momma, me" She went on in her innocent way as I was sure I saw Sasuke-kun hand slightly trembling as my own had done it already. "Happy!"

She laughed proudly of her work and I took that as the sign to stop spacing out there in silence. I turned to her smiling and she had already her little and beautiful face on me with her big black eyes staring intensely at me. For the first time my own daughter had burned a path through my heart like her father used to do in his own way and I kissed her forehead as Sasuke-kun put the drawing with the others. I had received the sign I wanted to go on with my plan and now more than ever I wasn't going to back out from it. I just needed one more confirmation and I was going to take care of that right now.

"Look Miyu, dad and mom need to talk for a moment." I started lifting myself from the mattress with her in arms and her drawings as she looked at me straight in the eyes with a sweet and understanding face. I went to the table and I set her down on one chair leaving her drawings on top of the flat area. "Wait here for a moment, ok?"

"Yes, momma."

She, satisfied and happy turned her attention immediately to her drawings and I went back to the mattress where Sasuke-kun was already waiting for me. I sat down beside him and for a moment I kept quiet, trying to put in order the ideas hovering inside my mind. All the while my Uchiha was still and patient watching me askance with his common seriousness and freezing calm. I noticed gladly that he was looking in fact better after Shizune and Tsunade-sama had restarted the treatment to stabilize him. I cleared my throat and with a little frown of determination I turned my jade gaze that was lying on the polished floor to him fixing it in his black orbs. I explained to him in low and serene voice all that had happened and I knew that probably the blond Hokage had already told him something when he had been able to understand it and it didn't surprise me the calm he showed when I revived some facts like the trap the Council had set for him meddling with his treatment and medicines. He didn't know the final resolution the damned Council had taken regarding his future for the released Amaterasu but he, being the one he was behaved enough to just stiff and narrow his eyes in anger and old hatred. Still I knew that Sasuke-kun wasn't going to do anything about it because he now had something bigger and more important to think about than his old flame of revenge and hate. It was the same reason I had. Miyu. He didn't care about old rivalries, mistrust and hidden agendas and I was very proud and relieved to see the maturity in the depth of his perfect onyx eyes regarding that. And for what I could catch for his expression and thoughtful glance I knew that he expected something like that. When I paused telling him about it I watched saddened and touched how he turned his gaze to the corner where our little girl was, happily unaware of our chatting and my plotting and his eyes lingering on her small silhouette for a moment with a worried and longing look. He had understood completely what it meant what I had told him. The Council was going to send him away from her, from the only person that was his family and that meant everything in the world to him even if he had wanted to deny it and keep it secret in hurtful and unexplainable ways. I was hopeful then that he could understand why I was going to tell him what I had decided and I took a deep breath giving me courage to go on with the hardest part. Sasuke-kun had somehow already felt my uneasiness and desire to say something else and was staring at me intensely and meditative like trying to read me. I needed to hurry up things because I wanted us to marry as soon as possible before the Council could come out with another trap and lie to put its hands on him again. I felt like I was dealing with a bomb that could explode in my face without predicted time so I tried to be straight and short as I had been when I had told it to my friends and our Hokage and as he had been in that hurtful letter written to me. And the dreamy part of me couldn't help to feel excited for my upcoming wedding even if it wasn't how I had wanted it to be. I was so stupid and childish…

"Look, I have found a way to stop them from imprisoning and sending you away. I know that it's not what you would wish and you don't want it, I can tell it after I read the letter you wrote for me." I paused and he just kept his intense and unreadable gaze on me. I tried not showing my sadness over the issue of the letter and I kept my decisive and serious expression. "But I think is the best way to proceed. Marry me."

I stopped after the last two words left my mouth so easily and I laughed inwardly at how empty and meaningless they sounded in this case in particular. How sad. Sasuke-kun stared at me a little surprised and shocked and he blinked like if he couldn't believe his ears. I nodded firmly and not showing my true feelings over this.

"Marry me. As your wife I can stand by your side and they'll leave you in peace. Our marriage will protect you better than anything and they'll have to fight against Miyu and me if they dare to try to do something to you."

I went on and on saying the same I had said to the others moments ago trying to reason with him logically of how this decision was the best to take. I did it with cold mind and frozen heart and I noticed how his expression turned more and more unreadable and thoughtful as I was talking. I didn't know what he was thinking and I didn't dare to imagine it but I talked sincerely with clear voice and face devoid of any kind of feeling that could make him back out.

"I know what you feel for me. I know you don't love me and you never will. You never did." I said simply honest and with a little smirk and erased sadness and pain from my controlled eyes. "I know and I won't marry you hoping or expecting for that to change. I know why I'm doing this. This is for Miyu and this is for you. It's unfair what they're trying to do to you and to her. I cannot stay without doing anything. So I'm telling you to not worry about me. Believe me; it is clear to me why we will marry and you don't have to worry about that. You and me have something in common that means the world and that's our daughter. I know that for you too her happiness and security, her protection and life is the most important and it is on top of any kind of thing we can want or desire. I know we can do this and I know we can make an agreement to avoid future problems and unwanted situations and be at ease and happy for her. Can you do it for her? Can you bear to marry me and stay with me the rest of our life even if it is a sacrifice for her sake? I can. And I'm ready to do it if you say yes. Maybe you think I'm using her to convince you but I don't want her to lose you. And I don't want you to lose her. Not after all you have gone through."

_I don't want to lose you either. _I stopped talking because I felt my eyes filling with unshed tears once more and I averted finally my eyes with calm and control trying to stop him from seeing it. What a liar I was. What a stupid woman I was. And I was so desperate and concerned for his uncertain future that was like that till he accepted my offer. What else could I say to convince him? He remained still and staring back at me with narrowed eyes in thoughtfulness and I closed my eyes worried and afflicted.

"There was another solution." I started and I was surprised for my choice of words. I had decided previously to not tell it to him because that option was unbearable to me like the one the Council had taken but I felt the responsibility to tell it to him. At least he would be able to choose at the end if he really considered so disgusting and annoying the idea of sharing his life with me. "We can help you to escape from Konoha but you would have to live undercover and away from here and not return in a very long time or probably ever. At least you could be free." I smiled softly and sincerely. _You won't have to live with me if you don't want it._ "I'll give you time to think about it, ok? I'll go and take Miyu to home with mother and I'll return later. Please, have an answer, ok?"

I got up from the mattress not wanting to meet his studying eyes and I went to pick up Miyu and her thinks the faster I could with normalcy. I knew he had his eyes locked on me the whole time and I tried to ignore it till I approached him with our little girl for her to say goodbye to him. Sasuke-kun kissed her forehead softly and lovingly without meeting my eyes as Miyu gave him that particular drawing as a present till I was at the door with her in my arms and the bag hanging from my shoulder. We both looked at the other in silence for a second with calm and seriousness as Miyu waved her goodbye happily to him and he waved it back with soft and concerned expression.

"Bay bay Dada! Seee youu!"

And after that I was left in seconds from his silent room.

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_Kakashi POV_

I knew I had arrived late when I saw Sakura carrying Miyu, turning at the corner of the empty and white hall. I sighed resigned and I didn't hesitate nor take more time to at least talk with Sasuke about all this mess. I could talk to Sakura later because I was pretty sure that she was going to return. She didn't appear affected by whatever answer Sasuke could have given to her and that only meant one thing: she had given him time to think about it and decide.

Knowing that probably she had given him a short time to take a choice I entered the room quietly and focused and I found him sitting on the mattress with a lost and distant expression. He wasn't wearing the special cloth covering his _dangerous _eyes and I guessed that whatever treatment Tsunade-sama and Shizune were providing him was doing a great job to help him. He was still pale, weak and restless but a lot more controlled and calm than hours before. I didn't say anything to try to catch his attention and I just went to the corner where the table stood and I took a chair and brought it nearer without doing a single noise near the hospital's bed. That was how he noticed me. I sat down with my folded arms over my chest and my legs crossed one over the other facing him with silence and meditation. I knew he was thinking about whatever Sakura had told him and I wondered if I had heard about such a cold way to propose marriage to someone ever before. Just to imagine the state of mind and heart of my former pink haired student when she had asked him to marry her filled me with deep concern and true admiration. Sasuke was now staring at me with tired, alert and half focused onyx gaze and I took a moment to order my ideas before talking to him. I had made a promise and I needed to do what I could to achieve it even knowing the result anyway.

"So, Sakura has already talked to you about it.", I started calmly and he just averted his eyes narrowing them in thoughtfulness. "She has asked you to marry her to save you from this situation and to protect you and keep you near Miyu." I stated calmly, fixing my half stare on him. The Uchiha just turned to face me still distant but alert and closed his eyes folding his arms over his chest like me. I knew he was pondering about Sakura's mad plan. I wished to know what he was really thinking and feeling about it. "I hope you can see how much it took her to reach that point. You know perfectly what she has always felt for you. So I expect that not minding your answer you can appreciate her effort and what lengths she's willing to go for you and the daughter of both. Have you decided yet? Are you going to accept her offer?"

I asked him sincerely preoccupied and wanting for him to notice how honest I was and that I was worthy of his confidence and trust. Knowing him this could backfire on me and he could act the other way around: glaring and throwing me out of his room for meddling in his private life and business. But nothing like that happened and to my surprise and relief he just shook his head slightly once and lowered his face where a soft frown was wrinkling his pale forehead and I realized that he was troubled and probably concerned. The only thing I was quite sure about was that he was immersed in turmoil of thoughts hovering inside his mind. But he had given me his answer.

"I see. Are you sure?" To my major surprise he shook his head slowly once again and I noticed the piece of paper he was grabbing in his hand softly like if it was some sort of treasure. For what I could see of it I knew it was one of Miyu's drawings. I sighed thoughtfully and I kept quiet for a moment gathering my thoughts. "I'm worried as the others like Naruto for this. We're concerned for Miyu's future if you agreed in marrying her mother. I know you're perfectly aware that Miyu would be the principal victim if this decision wasn't the best at the end. I don't know if Sakura is totally aware because right now she's trying to help you. But you're more logical than her. You still don't have a definitive answer, Sasuke. What's making you to hesitate? You were never one to doubt for so long and less concerning important matters as the future of your daughter and your own life."

I stopped still with my eye on him studying his every detail and he landed his dark orbs on the piece of folded paper in his hands. I leaned over thinking deeply in all this and knowing I had to do the best for the three members of this unique family.

"If you accept to marry Sakura you know that you would have to devote your life to her and to Miyu even if you don't love Sakura. You would have to respect her and at least treat her well. While Miyu is young you'll have to pretend to be happy with Sakura and if one day when Miyu could be old enough to understand and nothing had changed between her mother and you and whether you decide to go on with the fake marriage or decide to separate and leave Sakura, you'll have to confront Miyu's suffering and sadness over it. Miyu would suffer in any way if you accept it or not. If you don't accept to marry Sakura now she would suffer without a father to grow up and hearing that her father is a criminal and all the lies that the Council will spread about you. You won't see her often either if you go with its decision or escape from Konoha and the Land of Fire. Miyu would suffer and would be sad too. That's the plain truth at the end even if it's sad and painful. Your little girl would suffer and you won't be able to stop it nor do anything about it."

I made a pause giving time for this to sink deeply in his already confused mind. Sasuke listened to me with distant black eyes and his common freezing serenity and control.

"She was going to suffer anyway later. You know why, don't you?" I asked him still calm and softly and he looked at me with a hint of understanding in his dark orbs. "One day Miyu will know about everything that happened when she was conceived and then when she was born, about her two first years of life. She will know how you reacted towards her existence." Sasuke tensed and his hands clutched the piece of folded paper tightly and his frown deepened and shadowed his expression. I had been right after all. "I know you had already considered it. I noticed it in her last birthday party, in the way how much it hurt you to just look at Miyu. Your little girl would suffer in any way, Sasuke and that's something you're perfectly aware of. You're waiting for it; you're dreading it, don't you? And now there's another obstacle in between and you have to make a decision that will affect not only your life but hers and Sakura's too. What are you going to do? What do you think is the best for your little girl? Think of her. Decide for her. But whatever decision you take you need to have in mind the consequences and how are you going to confront them."

After a moment of silence I saw him unfolding the piece of paper and staring at it thoughtfully with softer expression. Finally I could see what the drawing was about and I sighed sad and moved seeing what the little Uchiha heiress had painted there. And by the way Sasuke had locked his onyx eyes on it so longingly I was sure that Miyu's wish was the same he had in the deep of his troubled and mingled heart. Was he aware of it? Probably. The main problem here was the fact that he had never loved Sakura in that way to make completely true the painting in his hands. I didn't need to ask him to be pretty sure that he wanted to go on with Sakura's decision just to gain some part of that innocent drawing. I didn't know all the reasons behind that wish but I could comprehend some. But in this moment the only thing that mattered was the fact that I knew what answer he wanted to give.

He wanted to stay for Miyu even if he had to marry Sakura to gain that.

Could it be so difficult for him to accept to marry her and spend his life with her? I went back to past days and the exchanges I had seen between both and I remembered how sometimes he watched my former pink haired student. Was it really so difficult to accept to be with her? Did he feel a little guilty for the hurt he had caused her? I couldn't really believe that Sasuke could dislike her so much to not feel guilty for the suffering she had gone through because of him.

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_Kakashi POV_

_When Sasuke returned from the bathroom I caught something different in his dark eyes just like that time when I had left him waiting for me outside the hospital sitting on that bench. He simply sat down at the table where I was still chatting and laughing with Anko and stayed lost in thought seeing Miyu playing with her grandmother and her new toys. I saw that he was very deep in his own world and he was barely putting attention to his little girl. I noticed that he was deeply thinking in that introspective and profound way he has and not being a victim of his strange illness. I was at ease for that. But I felt too worried and curious about his moment of deep meditation and drifting reverie. I heard laughs and voices talking happily and I turned my attention to Sakura and the girls who were leaving the house and returning to the party after the girl's talk Anko had talked me about. I knew that Sakura had been crying. It was plain obvious to me who knew her for so long and I sighed concerned and saddened at how her emerald eyes were crystals menacing to break without warning. She was trying so hard to hide everything. But I knew too my other former students and I looked at him by the corner of my black gaze meditative and wondering. Anko, luckily for me, was now chatting with Kiba's sister who was sitting on a table next to the right. Sasuke had averted his black and cold gaze at just seeing the entrance of the mother of his child and I found myself sighing sadly at their current situation. I did wonder why he had averted his black eyes when she came to the backyard with the girls and why he seemed suddenly deep in thought with his furrowed brow and pale face staring without staring really at the ground._

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_Kakashi POV_

Did something happen that day besides that terrible seizure he had?

"Do you want to stay with Miyu?" I asked him leaving behind my reverie and inner confused thoughts. Sasuke looked up to me calmly. "Would you marry Sakura?" Not receiving a signal of a _yes _or a _no _I thought then that something was still worrying him or stopping him in giving a straight answer. Unconsciously his black orbs betrayed him when in seconds they landed on the drawing and they locked for a second on Miyu's version of her young mother. A little smile crept on in my half covered face. Even if it had been very short to notice I had noticed it and I was sure about it. Maybe I wasn't totally mistaken in my observations. "You don't want to drag Sakura into this, right?"

He froze his sudden and short expression immediately and faced me brooding and glaring with narrowed serious eyes and I chuckled at it. _You don't want to drag her into this mad plan because you don't want to hurt her anymore. Perhaps you really feel guilty somehow and concerned about her._

"It's like I told you. See the consequences in advance and prepare to confront them. I cannot do anything more. The final decision is yours, Sakura's and yours. I only wanted to be sure if any of you were really thinking in Miyu's future concerning it. You're doing it. I'm glad because you're trying to be the best father you could even if you don't know if you're making a mistake or not. Nobody knows. Only time will tell unfortunately."

I smiled warmly at him and I got up stretching my tired body as I caught his gaze still on me pondering about my words. I walked a little around the room because I knew I had to be sure about Sakura then after talking with Sasuke. Probably she had thought already in what I had told Sasuke but I needed to be sure for Miyu's sake. Sasuke stopped my wandering and spacing out when he got up from the bed and walked to me still with the piece of folded paper in his left hand. He put himself in front of me with pale face filled with determination and with a furrowed brow speaking of fierce will and graceful serenity. And I knew he had already taken a decision when I saw all that written all over his face and I just nodded knowing I had ended my job here.

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_Sakura POV_

I returned to the hospital after an hour because I couldn't wait any longer. I left Miyu with my mother at home but I didn't dare to tell her about my _mad _plan and _stupid _decision and I acted normally till I was walking the empty white hall of the hospital towards Sasuke-kun's room. I had met Shizune when I had arrived at this floor and she had told me that the Council had been stopped waiting if I was bluffing or lying about my marriage with Sasuke Uchiha. I didn't want to imagine them laughing their head off and mocking this lame pink haired girl who had dared to confront them marrying a man who everyone knew didn't love me. I felt pathetic and worthless but I couldn't take back my decision and I wasn't going to do it even if everyone thought I was forcing him to marry me. Before I entered Sasuke-kun's room I found Kakashi-sensei outside with his back against the wall like if he was waiting for me. I had expected him or Tsunade-sama or even Naruto to try to force me to _think clearly _over this so I breathed deeply touched by their worry and knowing that I couldn't blame them or be angry with them. I would have done the same for them if the situation needed it.

Like I had thought, Kakashi-sensei talked to me about my plan of marrying Sasuke-kun and he focused in Miyu's future in this. I had considered it, after all she was my little girl and I loved her with all my heart, but I had to be honest when I heard some things I hadn't considered fully or not at all. I listened to my first sensei calmly, concerned and thoughtful and thanking his intervention even when I wasn't going to back out. He had opened my eyes more and had said some things I should have to talk to Sasuke-kun about our daughter's sake and happiness. Then he remembered me about my Uchiha's first reaction towards our little girl and I was surprised when I hadn't remembered this. Kakashi-sensei was right, sooner or later Miyu was going to grow up and she was going to know about all that had happened concerning her father and me. I knew that was hurting Sasuke-kun inwardly then even if he hid it skillfully and I knew that was going to hurt Miyu in the future and although I had only loved her and tried to protect her since the beginning I had my own amount of guilt to be punished in the form of hurting her too. So, what was the best for her? Was it the best for her father and mother to be together to explain it to her and ask her forgiveness? Was it best for us to be separated and deal with it like that? How to show Miyu that her father had loved her but he had taken bad decisions that I didn't really know why he had taken them? One thing was sure for me and that was to protect Sasuke-kun and Miyu's relationship. I didn't want them to be separated by the past and I knew that Sasuke-kun would have to explain to her why he had acted the way he had done it. Maybe he didn't want to explain to me but to his little girl he would have to do it and I knew he would do it sooner or later. Even if the things between him and me didn't change or went worse or better, he would have to stand up for her. I didn't want to be an obstacle between the both if I couldn't be part of the equation.

"Are you still going on with this, Sakura?"

Kakashi-sensei asked me seriously concerned and calm and I nodded after thinking it for a brief pause. He had come to be sure that I was thinking in the future of my bright little girl and now he knew I had done it. He knew that this decision was only mine and Sasuke's. Strangely I was feeling more and more at ease about my first inner battle of doubts and fears and I felt confident even knowing that an uncertain future waited for me. Kakashi-sensei had noticed and he smiled to me openly.

"Then there's nothing else to say. I'll support the both of you."

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

I didn't know if the others, my friends and our Hokage were going to support me too and I felt sad about it. I knew that my growing peace of mind, maybe childish and naïve was coming from the kind words Kakashi-sensei had said to me. His sincere worry and understanding had helped me to gain calm and optimism. I was going to make this work no matter what I had to sacrifice.

"Well, I suppose you have come to talk to Sasuke."

I nodded firmly and calm, smiling to him thankfully before opening the door with my calm strengthening up my body and soul and still with my heart beating fast against my chest and controlling my breathing and I entered the room leaving the door opened. I didn't know if Kakashi-sensei was going to come in too. I found Sasuke-kun sitting in one of the chairs at the table as if he was waiting for me and when he felt my presence he turned to face me. He wasn't wearing the special cloth covering his eyes and I felt utterly happy for it because I knew what it meant. I walked to him and took seat in front of him trying to act normally and be controlled. I noticed he was dressing formally now like if he was ready to leave the hospital but I didn't want to ask or know about it. I needed his answer first. But he was looking so damn handsome and elegant and healthier in spite of his real condition and was calm and collected watching me with intensity that melted me in a flash. His arms were landed on his lap and I had put mine over the table in a gesture of attention and disposition. I didn't know if he wanted me to go first or not and I felt nervous about it. Suddenly I felt the same I had felt in that occasion when Shino had been badly hurt and I stopped my body's reaction in synchrony to it. I didn't need to blush like a damn tomato right now. I had decided to stop acting that way with him if I wanted to go on with this marriage. So I used my willpower to fight his unconscious power over me with his mere presence and stance and I cleared my throat like if we were discussing a matter of business instead of a wedding and lifetime compromise.

"Have you decided yet?"

I asked calmly with my jade eyes fixed on his entire being and trying to not be hypnotized by his black eyes. He just stared at me silently for a moment putting me in the edge of craziness before pulling out something from an inner pocket of his upper clothing. I watched confused while he put slowly and with grace a beautiful, red and little velvet box in front of my entangled hands over the table and then he pulled away his right hand. It took me just a second to know what it was and I was dumbstruck and shocked, deeply surprised by it. I tried to hide my reaction the faster I could, _this is a business, _and I reminded myself staring at the little box stunned still. I didn't want to act like a _normal _girl in this kind of situation because this wasn't a _normal _situation and I used all my willpower to take control over my heart racing inside my chest and drumming in my ears and my lungs breathing quickly. But I couldn't move a damn finger and less a hand to take it and open it. I was afraid that Sasuke-kun could take my _weird _behavior as something to regret his acceptance to my mad plan but he surprised me again when his hands again approached the little box and opened it and a beautiful, elegant and perfect engagement ring stared at me in all its glory. I looked at it amazed by the big diamond crowning it, it was huge in fact, sparkling marvelously and the ring seemed to be of white gold. It had to be gold. _Uchiha meant gold in this kind of things_, I stupidly thought. I loved that it was white instead of golden. It gave it a more elegant feature. Still I couldn't dare to take it and Sasuke-kun once more surprised me taking it from the little box with one hand and with the other he took my left one that wasn't shaking just for willpower and he place it in the right finger easily and then it was there encircling my pale finger perfectly. It matched perfectly.

I hadn't dared to look at his face, at his eyes since he had laid the little box in front of me. I didn't want to betray my inner feelings and commotion with one stupid look. But the contact of his hands, his fingers placing the engagement ring in my pale finger had sent chills through my spine and had caused electricity in every damn pore of my skin. Even knowing this was an _arrangement and a business _I couldn't help to be filled by the common and expected happiness, joy and hope a situation like this cause in a normal woman, I guessed. For a moment the inner little princess waiting for her prince exploded inside me in bliss imaging this moment a little different but it didn't last long because I was reminded of why it was happening. Either way I like it, it gave me a bittersweet happiness and I was glad for it. At least he had thought about it and had accepted it. He had had to pick it for me. That was something. I didn't smile openly but my face couldn't help to soften at the sight of it and I supposed that Sasuke-kun thought it was for the ring itself and not what it meant to me. Men could think that way about women and jewelry. I looked at the impressive ring closely noticing the intricated design of it. I wondered how much he had paid for it and I felt suddenly embarrassed.

"You… didn't have to buy it for me and less one so expensive and beautiful."

I said with shy voice and for the first time I dared to look at him straight. Sasuke-kun was staring at me calmly and unreadable as always but seemed comfortable by my reaction, even amused and somehow glad. Good, he hadn't noticed. I lowered my green still shocked gaze to the ring once more.

"He didn't buy it." Kakashi-sensei said coming over with a happy voice. I turned to him confused. "He asked me, by a letter of course, to take it from the Uchiha's heritage, like Miyu's necklace. It belonged to his mother too. It seems to be an engagement ring that was passed generation by generation when an important wedding was going to happen. His mother disposed it for either Itachi or him if the time came. I only had to fix it for you."

Oh my God. I felt worse and ashamed of wearing it now that I knew the truth. It had to be priceless for him and a memory close to his heart. Why had he given it to me? To prove to everyone that this marriage was more real than they could guess?

"I can't take it! You don't need to give it to me, Sasuke-kun."

I started sadly and worried in even moving my finger and breaking it. My Uchiha surprised me again taking my hand in his and clutching it softly affecting me once more with the electricity and love he unleashed with his touch on me. I was stunned and shut up by that gesture of him, so unusual and wanted for me always in spite of everything.

"He wants you to have it. Please accept it." Kakashi-sensei said still happily and I wondered when he had become Sasuke-kun's translator. "It's his way to thank you for what you're doing for him and to shut up others."

I had guessed the last reason but I hadn't considered the other one. I thought it for a brief moment fixing my surprised eyes on our entangled hands and then in his pale face. Sasuke-kun nodded at Kakashi-sensei's explanation and I had to nod at it too. It was pathetic how I couldn't say no to him not even in this. A selfish and stupid part of me wanted that meaningful ring in my finger anyway and not but his true beauty. It meant that I was his and he was mine even if it wasn't completely true. He let go of my hands then having my acceptance and I tried to not linger in the feeling he had left with his simple touch on my skin.

"I'll handle the cost of the wedding with Sasuke's approval and money. Sasuke wants it to be great and amazing like an Uchiha deserves, of course. I hope you can understand it." I just nodded quiet and still feeling stunned and shocked like in a dream. I had thought that probably the wedding was going to be something small and private and as I was listening to my former sensei I understood that it was going to be the other way around. "The bigger this is the Council would accept it as true." He was right, after all. I nodded conscious of it. I wanted to teach them to leave Sasuke-kun in peace and if a big and expensive wedding was needed they could count with me. I couldn't help the excitement of seeing their faces shocked by my mad plan. Little by little I was reaching the point of leaving my shock behind and prepare for the realizing of this. I needed to be ready and alert. "They won't ruin the magnificence of an Uchiha's wedding, right? So Sakura feel free to plan it however you like and it doesn't matter how much it costs. This is a big thing. Do it for that, don't feel embarrassed about it, your daughter has Uchiha's blood in her veins, and you deserve this too."

I wasn't totally comfortable with that but I knew that the final goal was imperative. He was right. We needed to show to the world _our union_. So I shouldn't feel bad about it if this had been my decision since the beginning and it was going to help the cause in spite of my own embarrassment and disagreement. I nodded smirking with mocking anticipation and I caught by the corner of my eyes the same smirk in Sasuke-kun's face.

"Well, I have to go and spread the news. The wedding needs to be in one month Sakura. Start to work in it with the help you want and need, ok? I know it is soon but the sooner the best. Sasuke-kun will be out of here by the end of the week and I would have an eye on him by the Council's orders. You need to start preparing everything."

I nodded once more, feeling excited in spite of my own truth screaming inside of me. I knew I had a long way and a lot to prepare and do and just imagining freaked me out. Kakashi-sensei laughed watching my face realizing it and then waving goodbye he was gone. Knowing I had a lot to prepare I turned to Sasuke-kun knowing I had something else to discuss and clarify to him before going. I didn't want to go but I remembered this was a business. A business that it had to appear real to everyone even if some knew the truth.

"Sasuke-kun, I just want to discuss something." I started not beating around the bushes and he fixed his black eyes and attention on me. "Promise me that no matter what happens to us in the future, as a husband and wife, we won't ever fight in front of Miyu about our differences and past experiences. Promise me that we will keep it to ourselves and we'll try to handle the truth the best we can till we can explain it to her."

He nodded immediately with a serious and firm frown and I smiled gladly and relieved. I got up taking the little box with me. My marvelous ring needed it for occasions when I couldn't use it. Sasuke-kun got up too and I nodded at him once more not wanting to go but forcing me to go on with all my might.

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok? I need to prepare a wedding."

I said playfully and smiling and then I turned around and went straight to the door not glancing back but with normal pace. And a stupid and dreamy smile was plastered in my lips in spite of my real knowledge of why this was happening now. I supposed sometimes the dream is fulfilled in a way you have never expected to be but that doesn't mean that it isn't exactly what you wished for.

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"I can't believe you, Kakashi-sensei!"

Naruto fumed in anger as the silver haired man laughed nervously. Tsunade just sighed resigned. Iruka, Shizune, Kurenai, Gai and Anko were clearly dismayed by the notice. Shikamaru, Hinata, Sai and Ino knew already and just Shikamaru wasn't surprised that the famous ninja hadn't gained what he had promised. Sakura could be very stubborn. The other friends of _the_ _bride and the groom _were shocked and speechless: Chouji, Shino, Kiba, Lee, Neji and Tenten.

"Weren't you the one who promised yesterday to change her mind about it? And now you're helping to prepare their wedding!"

Ino snarled worried for her pink haired friend side by side of Naruto.

"Wait a minute. I told you that I was going to talk to the both about it, especially concerning Miyu and I did it. But the final decision is theirs. And they have taken it."

Kakashi gestured defending himself nervously.

"He's right." Tsunade interrupted. "I'm surprised that Sasuke agreed in doing it."

"That idiot! He cannot do this! Why did he accept it?!"

Naruto trembled angered but Iruka laid his hands on his shoulders trying to calm him as the blond leader of Konoha looked at the boy.

"I understand your worry for them and Miyu. But Kakashi is right. At the end they're her parents and they decided. And knowing both and how they have grown since Miyu was born, I have to say that I trust in Kakashi's effort. If he really talked to them about it and they had considered it, there's nothing to do for us than support them."

Naruto sighed heavily and nodded seriously and worried at her words.

"Who knows." Anko cut in suddenly with a little smirk. "A lot can happen in the future."

"Well, at least the Council has stopped their decision about Sasuke and our good treatment and report about his behavior helped it. They reacted _happily _for the notice of his wedding with the mother of his child." Tsunade said with an ironic smirk. "And it didn't help that I argued about the discoveries I did about the messing of his previous medicines and treatments."

"Then I guess this is the best way even if we don't like it."

Iruka said preoccupied. They were quiet for a moment pondering about the _happy and unexpected _news. They had gathered in Tsunade's office and suddenly someone knocked on the door before opening it. To their surprise it was in fact Sakura. She looked… really calm and normal and they hadn't really expected it. The medic nin noticed the stares of everyone reunited there on her and the apologizing smile of Kakashi to her and she chuckled amused.

"I guessed you all were going to be here." She came in closing the door behind her. "I know all of you are worried about me and Miyu and even Sasuke-kun probably. I want to thank you." Sakura smiled thankfully and touched at all of them. "But I guess Kakashi-sensei had told you already that Sasuke-kun and I are going to get married in a month approximately and I want you all to know that we're fine. We had talked about it and we know what we're doing. I hope to have you there in this special day and to have your help in this. You know, it's very hard to prepare my own wedding in a month!" She laughed casually. "There's a lot to do especially if you're marrying someone who wants to spend half of his money on it."

"You know all of us would support the both of you in this." Tsunade started after sighing with a soft smile. "You can always count on us."

The pink haired girl smiled touched and happily watching all of her friends nodding with sincere smiles and concerned looks. Even all the others were doing it too. Her blond best friend was the last one who nodded and smiled joyful to her resigned at her pleading green eyes.

"You both fools need someone to take care of you anyway."

"Thank you to all of you. This means a lot to me."

She covered her trembling chin with her hands as she tried to not cry like always. Their support definitely was going to help her a lot since now; she could felt it even if the majority thought she was doing a mistake.

"Oh my God!" Ino said suddenly with wide clear blue eyes staring at the ring in her finger. Sakura immediately noticed her stare and she lowered her hand a little shy, embarrassed and awkward. She couldn't help it when she was reminded of the impressive ring around her finger. She run away from the sad feeling it caused in her too. "Show me that freaking ring right now!"

Hinata, Tenten, Shizune, Anko and Kurenai gathered immediately around the emerald eyed medic nin and even Tsunade who was sat down behind her desk approached the women as some of them were squealing in joy and she watched it with interest and admiration.

"It's beautiful!"

Hinata said first with sparkling eyes.

"It had to cost a fortune!"

The Hokage said then analyzing it.

"It's amazing!"

Tenten cut in brimming in cheer.

"What a fantastic taste!"

Kurenai interrupted quite amazed.

"Look how it sparks!"

Shizune let out in awe hypnotized.

"That's definitely an engagement ring!"

Anko said smirking mischievously.

"I can't wait for the wedding!"

Ino finished with Sakura's hand in hers showing off the magnificent piece of jewelry to the medic nin's embarrassment.

"What the hell?!"

Naruto said confused seeing all the women in the office gathered and watching the ring impressed and giggling like little girls with a new toy.

"They're women after all." Shikamaru shrugged simply in low voice. "They get excited by nature with jewels and weddings."

"It's good they didn't hear you or you would be punched to death right now."

Kakashi said in low voice too amused and laughing. After the impression for the infamous ring ended at the silent and shocked observation of the young male ones and the joy and respect of the old male ones counting Shikamaru, Sakura looked at everyone really serene and even happy in her own way. She had decided to take this in the best way if she wanted it to be _believable _and easy for everyone. Ino remembered something and asked her confused with raised eyebrows.

"You said you were all by yourself preparing the wedding. Have you told your mother?"

"I did it." Sakura said with a sheepish smile. "She reacted at first like all of you but then was very happy and excited. She's busy with my wedding dress so I don't want to put more work on her shoulders. That was why I was thinking in"

She stopped shocking her head ashamed but Ino laughed happily.

"You want us to help you out with something, right? That is why the friends are forehead girl! We'll gladly help you, right guys?"

She turned to her friends, male and female and they all nodded immediately at her demanding voice and menacing stare.

"Thank you. I was wondering if you, Hinata, Tenten and Temari wanted to be my maids. Of course, I wanted you Ino to be the maid of honor if you want. I bugged you before being the godmother of Miyu already."

"Oh my God I accept it!"

Ino clapped her hands excited and laughing and Sakura just smiled.

"Of course I'll do it!"

"It would be a pleasure."

"I'll tell Temari."

Tenten, Hinata and Shikamaru said immediately, the first one very enthusiastic, the second very happy and the third one with an easy smile. The pink haired medic nin turned then to Naruto.

"Of course you're going to be the Best Man, Naruto! Sasuke wouldn't want it in other way. And me either."

"You can count on me!"

The blue eyed Hokage wannabe grinned happily with his thumb up and Sakura just grinned back thankful.

"I hope the Kazekage and Kankuro can come too. We're sending an invitation anyway."

"I'll tell Temari anyway to prepare them."

Sakura nodded thanking at Shikamaru.

"Do you have ideas of what you and Sasuke want?"

Tenten asked in _wedding planner _mode and Sakura laughed first before nodding. She had to hide the sadness her question brought up to her when she answered with a little common smile of hers. _What a dream…_

"Yeah, I have almost everything in mind… but I need help to make it true."

She said shrugging a little tense at the perspective but Ino wrapped an arm around her shoulders grinning enthusiastically.

"Don't worry! Look, what if the girls and I go to your house at the evening and we start to discuss it? I can later tell the others what role they'll play."

The young males except Sai of course exchanged worried and nervous glances among them as Tsunade and Kakashi chuckled amused. Having Ino Yamanaka as a boss wasn't very appealing…

"Ok! That would be very nice. I'll wait for you then."

"So I guess you would need free time from your duties here at the hospital, Sakura." Tsunade started smiling. "Just work half time and take the rest to prepare everything. Don't worry."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama, but is not necessary…"

"Of course it is. Just accept it, alright?"

Sakura had to accept and she nodded gratefully and ashamed for it. She hadn't even thought about stopping working while she prepared the wedding but she couldn't deny it was better for her. After chatting a moment about some of her ideas for the wedding she said goodbye knowing she had to pick up Miyu from Sasuke's room.

"Does Miyu-chan know?"

Naruto asked her as she was leaving the big office and Sakura nodded smiling happily. She knew that just watching that moment replaying inside her mind had made everything worth. She couldn't help to want to see how her little girl was brimming in happiness right now in her father's company. Naruto grinned back joyfully and then he waved a goodbye to his best friend and former teammate while she closed the door and made her way to her source of eternal happiness.

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_Sakura POV_

"_Sakura, are you really sure about this?"_

_My mother asked after she had had time to adjust to the news I had given to her hours ago. At first, I had been straight to her and I had told her exactly why I was taking this decision and Sasuke-kun had accepted it finally. She had told me the same my friends and sensei had thought and or said to me and I had seen the deep worry and intense affliction reflected in her eyes concerning this mad plan of me and even when I didn't like to cause that suffering to her I knew I couldn't change my mind and I didn't want to. I wanted and I needed her support. She had just listened to me like she had always done before giving her own point of view about it and I was glad and thankful for her sincerity and concern. She didn't give me a straight answer then and asked me time to think about it and I accepted. I knew it wasn't easy for her to know that her only daughter was going to marry someone without real love in between but I couldn't change the circumstances. This was my life now even if it saddened me profoundly in the deepest part of my soul._

_Now she had come to give me her answer and after she had just nodded calmer and thoughtful and had given me support just with that nod, we were sitting at the table of my little department in front of the other and she had asked me once more. And I gave her the same answer I gave to everyone who asked it._

"_Yes. I want to do this. It's the best in a lot of ways. Don't worry mom, I know what I'm doing. Everything is alright; I'm not suffering watching it wrongly. I know why I'm going to marry him. And he knows it too. Everything will be fine. Thank you for your support, I feared that you weren't going to accept it."_

"_Oh Sakura! How can I abandon you in this? I promised I wouldn't do it ever again." She said guiltily remembering past memories and clutching my hands in hers over the table with a warm smile. "I'm afraid of what could happen but I think you're right. Everything will be fine."_

_I was somehow surprised at how she really believed in those words, more than I did and I had used them just to calm her worried and anguished heart. I saw hope in the deep of her sweet eyes and I didn't want to go there. Not hope. Hope meant always pain for me when it is related to Sasuke-kun. But I didn't want to take it back from my mother's expression so I just let her have it instead of me. I don't know if that helped her or it was just a part of everything inside her mind but suddenly she was pretty and honestly excited for the wedding like if it was completely normal. She was a common mother happy and enthusiastic about her soon daughter's wedding and I couldn't help to wonder if she had taken it from me. I was doing the same, at the mere end. I was a normal bride planning happily her marriage with the man she loved. We were laughing and talking easily and normally, probably the both knew what we were really doing inwardly in spite of our big effort and weak hope and we were like that when Miyu came in curious about our good mood and mother immediately got up and clapped staring lovingly at my little girl._

"_Honey, your mother and your father are going to marry soon!"_

_I was pretty sure that Miyu understood a little at least of the meaning of those words and I smiled widely and warmly when I saw her beautiful little face lightening up in joy and bliss and she clapped too smiling and soon my mother had her in her arms and they shared a happy hug. I laughed and smiled watching the both sharing that happiness that it was bittersweet to me. Then mom gave her to me and I hugged her for a moment kissing her cheeks and forehead as Miyu was clapping and babbling about Sasuke-kun and me together. I sat her down in my lap and then the rest of the chat directed to the impressive and infamous engagement ring I was wearing and my mother and my daughter squealed in joy and amazement as they appreciated the magnificent piece of jewelry shining around my finger in all its glory._

"_Dada here?"_

_Miyu asked to me with her pretty and big eyes locked on my face shining in happiness and hope. I nodded stroking her black hair._

"_Yes. Father is going to live with us. Well, probably not here exactly, but we're going to be together. The three of us."_

_Miyu smiled nodding understanding and she placed a little hand over my cheek and for a moment as she was staring at my jade eyes intensely with her kind expression I was sure she knew of my inner and hidden sadness. Her black orbs softened and she kissed my other cheek hugging me and I shook my head inwardly. She was too little to know. But I as held my daughter tightly I couldn't help to erase that sorrow inside my heart because she didn't need to know. Just like Sasuke-kun had promised to me I was going to keep my word._

_Everything was going to be fine._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Sakura POV_

I entered Sasuke-kun's room and I smiled when I found them at the table. Miyu was painting like always very happy as usual and Sasuke-kun was just there staring at her and trying to paint something too. I approached them calm and the both turned to me when I arrived. Miyu immediately babbled about Sasuke-kun coming to live with us in her own still incomplete speech and was very happy indeed. Sasuke-kun was calm and had that soft expression he always wore when Miyu was around. He stared at us with an intensity that burned me immediately and inwardly. I tried to control myself and I was aware I was going to be forced to do it often and perfect now more than ever when I was going to be near him a lot of time. We were going to get married; we were going to live together under the same roof. Anyway, I had practiced enough and I can tell that everyone was surprised at how good I was taking this _marriage _and how normal and serene I was. Nobody needed to know that I felt utterly bittersweet due to the happiness and sadness entangling inside my heart. I could do it and I was going to do it. I can find happiness in one way or another. This sorrow was going to be dismissed little by little and I was going to find peace of mind with my life even if it wasn't entirely as I had planned it.

"It's time to go, Miyu. Say goodbye to dad." I said as I left her in Sasuke-kun's arms and I gathered her things in her common bag. The one where I had found the letter that had ripped off my heart. I was pretty sure that if this situation of the Council and Sasuke-kun hadn't appeared and I had found it and read it, I would have been so damn destroyed that I would have done everything in my power to rip off this love from my heart. But destiny had decided and now I was engaged to the man that had written it. I sighed resigned and a little lost in thought and I watched by the corner of my eyes how Sasuke-kun kissed her forehead and Miyu giggled sweetly. I smiled unconsciously and I took her in my arms prepared to go. "See you later then, Sasuke-kun. Take care."

I said sincerely with a common smile and he got up surprising me and kissing my cheek. I remained paralyzed on my spot with Miyu silent and observant in my arms and feeling his warm lips touching my cheek with a delicate caress. I knew he had done it because supposedly we were a _real _couple ready to marry and because he was acting with courtesy and like an educated gentleman. I couldn't deny that he was somehow grateful to me for what I was doing and I knew that even in spite of everything he couldn't be so cold or indifferent as he wanted to appear. That was going to be the way to act with Miyu around and outside our little family and home but that didn't mean that he was going to do it often either. He was Sasuke Uchiha after all. Probably between us we were going to be our common selves and even when I felt sad I knew I had gotten myself into this and he knew it too. Between us, in the solitude of our company, there was going to be silence and agreement but just that.

Even in spite of all that I caressed his cheek after he had kissed mine and I landed a soft courteous kiss in his smiling calmly. When our looks crossed, black against green in our common behavior, I understood that he knew all that had crossed my mind with his gesture. He knew it too. This was a business.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded and I left his room with normal pace and as I was getting my way out of the hospital without really paying attention to anything with my little girl quiet and serene in my arms, I wondered what was going to happen to me. Was I going to feel this eternal sadness inside my soul even having him with me? Would this plan of mine backfire, causing more misery to me? I shook my head trying to get rid of the pessimism and feeling the kiss of Sasuke-kun lingering in my cheek. What he was thinking really? What he was feeling really? Why he had done that even if he didn't feel the need? Or at least he felt physically attracted towards me? After all, I had been the only one with whom he had sex. He had showed that he wanted to do it with me. Could I at least feel better with that? Just having the physical part?

I pondered all this on my way back home. When I arrived I did the chores I had to do and prepared the lunch and took care of Miyu as always. I wanted to be ready for the afternoon when Ino, Tenten and Hinata came and dedicate my time and attention to their company. I hadn't been in girls' company since a long time ago and I was looking forward to it even if it was for my wedding. I had finished cleaning the kitchen after Miyu and I had lunch when someone knocked at the door. Who could it be? No one else told me that they were going to come over.

"Wait a minute!"

I yelled still curious about the sudden visit and I ran to the door hearing Miyu talking in her room. She was playing with her dolls telling them that dad was going to live with us. I smiled touched by her innocence and I opened the door.

"Yes?"

And I was petrified and shocked when I looked up and I watched the man standing at my door watching me back intensely with severity and anger. I had never thought that he would come to my house one fine day. Our relationship had ended that fateful night and I hadn't exchanged a word with him since then. My heart ached, noticing his absence inside it and my emerald eyes watered but I cleared my throat and I stared at him controlling the unshed tears with firm and serious expression. My voice was low and it had shaken.

"Father…"

"I'm not planning to stay or come in. Don't worry. I just came because I wanted to tell you how childish, immature and stupid you're acting, Sakura. I heard that you're going to marry that scum. You have disappointed me once more."

His deep voice and heartfelt words pained me but I stood up watching him with sadness and affliction. I guessed what he was going to tell me anyway. I had imagined in a second after seeing him there why he had come. Just something really powerful could have forced him to come to visit me. I half smiled sadly without losing my temper. I knew I wouldn't have done it before when I was still that 16 year old girl but right now I wasn't.

"I'm sorry for doing that, dad. I appreciate your visit and honest opinion. Thank you for worrying."

He just glared at me in silence narrowing his steely eyes. I had never seen him so cold towards anyone. I could have burst in tears then but I noticed the hint of suffering in the deep of his eyes and that touched me and gave me hope. He wasn't entirely angry with me. He was concerned too. I had asked mom always about how he was doing although he didn't want to know anything from me.

"You're stubborn as always. I know I cannot change your mind but I wanted you to know that I'm not going to attend that damn wedding. So don't waste time in inviting me and find someone else who can _surrender _you to that scum. I won't do it. I know I cannot forbid your mother anything, anyway. You're making a big mistake, Sakura. I hope one day you can see it and realize I was right all along. You should have trusted in me to fix your life. You're just doing stupidities." He made a brief pause and I nodded still calm and with a frown of sorrow wrinkling my forehead and my eyes near to cry. "That was all."

He turned around and left without glancing back or saying anything else. He didn't even ask me for his granddaughter. After I watched him disappearing I closed the door and rested my head against it crying silently in profound sadness and pain. I didn't want Miyu to see me crying. I cried for a moment for the loss of my father and how it hurt me that I had hurt him and that I didn't count with his support. Miyu was two years old and it had been more than one year since I had left my parents' house and I hadn't talked to him. I knew he worried for me at least but that fact only made everything worse and pained me more. That meant he still loved me and cared for me. I knew he had done his own to protect me from Sasuke-kun and that he had sought him when he had taken Miyu away. But the truth was that he couldn't forgive me and was disappointed of me to a point of no return.

Trying to control my aching saddened heart knowing that he wasn't going to attend my wedding I dried my tears and washed my face preparing myself to go on with my life and plan. I had lost a part of my family and I wasn't going to let that happen to Miyu ever.

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_Sakura POV_

The days went by faster that I had guessed. Thanks to the help of my friends everything about the wedding was ready on time and I was released from a breakdown due to the intense preparation a ceremony like this one demanded. Sasuke-kun was released from the hospital and the Council's grasp days later as Kakashi-sensei had told me and unsurprisingly I used to see him often than before. After all we were going to marry. Because he was still recovering and under the hawk's eye of our Hokage I didn't let him help in anything. Anyway, everything was almost ready for the dateline. Sometimes I took Miyu to his room to spend some time and others he came to my home to see her and know how the wedding was doing. He still wasn't working in fact; he was doing some paperwork for Kakashi-sensei and I worked half time at the hospital like Tsunade-sama had told me. A few times he invited Miyu and me to have lunch (well in his own way) outside or to have dinner and I never said no. I was going to be his wife, right? It was a common thing and I couldn't help to want his company even in this arrangement between us. My friends and dear people didn't let it go easily and were clearly surprised by it. When Neji and Tenten had met us in the same restaurant the first time Sasuke-kun had taken Miyu and me they had been utterly amazed at our good act. It wasn't in fact an act. We were courteous and respectful with the other and there was this calm around us and understanding of circumstances but that was all. We didn't share as friends and less than lovers but at least we were in peace with the other and we didn't bring back from our past debts and discussions or hurtful memories. There was a blank between us and just the agreement linked us together and that wasn't going to change. Probably only the people close to us could guess or notice it but I tried to not show it and I tried to act according our situation. At least I had him with me, near me, near Miyu and we were a quite unique little family. He till now wasn't cold or bad towards me and I appreciated that as I was sure he appreciated my distance and normalcy. I wasn't the damn fangirl that had fancied him or the girl madly in love right now. Did he know that I still love him? I wasn't sure and by the effect of this, it didn't matter. This marriage was a business and that was all.

Our friends and dear people didn't ask me if they noticed the nature of our understanding and _relationship_. Not even when Sasuke-kun and I greeted the other and said goodbye with a simple soft kiss in the cheek or when he half hugged the other or our hands were entangled together with normalcy. All those gestures had a reason to exist between us and we both knew it well. I knew they didn't want to trouble me and probably they really believed that I was totally fine with it and I was glad for that. It was my purpose anyway and I was fulfilling it perfectly till now if nobody had said something about it. If some of them knew the truth and looked at me preoccupied or touched, I didn't know it.

So the days went by like that and I just had to discuss one thing with Kakashi-sensei. I asked him if he could take my father's role now that he had told me straight to the face that he didn't want any part of my wedding and my former sensei accepted immediately. I had cried a little telling him what had happened and he had comforted me and listened to me worried and understanding. My mother wasn't entirely understanding and she had menaced to talk with my father about it when I told her about his visit but I had stopped her. I didn't want to be the cause of a conflict between my parents. She reluctantly controlled herself and was really disappointed and sad over the issue. Her relationship with Sasuke-kun by the way had been respectful and calm since the news about our marriage. I remembered she had shared some moments with him due to Miyu and I was glad for it. She was kind enough like before towards him and he was educated towards her. I knew she was sure of his love for her granddaughter and that had helped a lot for her to be in this point about their relationship. Sometimes I wondered why she had agreed so easily to my wedding and why she was so excited and genuinely happy. Could it be that she had the same hope I had harbored since years ago?

We invited a lot of people to the wedding and thank God some of them were still freaked out by the incident with Sasuke-kun and the Amaterasu and declined the offer. Still it was going to be _big _and even the Kazekage and his two siblings were coming. When the date was near I realized that it was bigger and more important that I had guessed or imagined and I was nervous and tense like any other bride. I never pictured myself marrying in such a great preparation and with someone so important in spite of all odds.

So that was my state of mind the afternoon of the fateful day when after I had taken my shower that had lasted much more than common I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. Today was the day. Finally I was going to become _Sakura Uchiha. _I smiled sadly lowering my gaze to the little white and old book on top of my dresser and I sighed in my now natural bittersweet state as I took the brush. There in my reflection I could see the happiness flowing through those jade brilliant eyes and I could see the small hint of sadness hanging from the corners of my lips. I shook my head trying to erase that feeling now. Nobody needed, and less me, to see it there. Today was the day. Luckily for me, my maids arrived to help me to get ready. The wedding was going to start with the ceremony at five o'clock and the reception was going to be at seven o'clock and it was going to last till tomorrow morning.

"Hello bride!"

Ino said joyfully and I greeted her and my other two friends with a wide and happy smile. It wasn't totally untrue. Their chatter and good mood helped me soon to ignore my inner thoughts and feelings and I laughed and joked around with them. They told me that Kurenai-sensei and Anko-san were dealing with the last details of the wedding and that Tsunade-sama and Shizune were arranging everything to attend the wedding. Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei were helping out too. All my male friends were ready. Everything was set.

"What about your dress, forehead girl?"

"That's right! Your mother hadn't let anyone see it."

I chuckled at Tenten knowing she was right. She was doing my hair and Ino my makeup as Hinata took care of Miyu who was very happy sitting on her lap.

"I haven't seen it finished either. She told me she would bring it in an hour."

Ino and Tenten squealed in delight and I chuckled again amused. We went on talking about our male friends and how nervous Naruto was, even more than the groom and I couldn't help to remember the thing about the dress. I had showed my mother how I wanted it but I wasn't completely sure how it really was. Seeing it in reality was different than seeing it in paper. I trusted my mother and I was dying to see it. Just like she had promised my mother appeared after an hour and when I had my hair done and my makeup ready and the sight of it had blown my mind away and had impressed my friends and little girl. They all squealed excited and cheerful and I was left with my mother to put it on. She was ready looking beautiful. My friends had gone to put on her own maids' dresses and prepare Miyu too and I was there in my room in silence as mother helped me to dress. Awkwardly Ino had forced me to wear something Temari had sent for me as a wedding gift: underwear (something very suggestive, elegant and beautiful) and I blushed when my mother saw me wearing it. Of course, she had laughed amused and mocking me and then in silence she helped me till I was staring at my own image in front of the mirror. My hair had grown quite a bit and I hadn't taken time to cut it but that helped to the marvelous hairdressing Tenten had done. My makeup was soft but amazing and it made my jade eyes look greener if that was possible. They had even done my nails and I felt like a porcelain doll right now.

_So, I'm really that little princess waiting for his prince to notice her and love her, _I thought with a bittersweet smile. The dress was in a very soft white with traces of soft pink and it was magnificent in fact. Its design had some traces of a ninja style that it didn't ruin it and made it better and I was stunned and speechless staring at me on the mirror still as a statue. This was the day.

"You look beautiful, Sakura. You're a princess."

My mother kissed my cheek wrapping her hands from behind around my shaking body and I couldn't help the tears that fell down my face. This was the day. My day. My dream. Mother watched me touched and smiling softly and she dried my silent tears with a handkerchief carefully as I smiled to my reflection. I had never thought in seeing me like this.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. You'll ruin your makeup and Ino will rip off your head."

I laughed knowing she was right and sighing and stopping the emotional shaking. I took a deep breath and I closed my eyes with a big smile.

"I'm happy, mom."

"I know it, baby."

_I'm so happy and I shouldn't be it. I had my dream. Soon I'll be his wife and we will be together. I'm happy. That's all. And the sadness cannot win over it now._

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_Sakura POV_

What happened after that intimate moment between my mother and me I couldn't really remember it well. It was like if when I put on the dress I was inside an eternal state of daydream and I was living between two worlds or I was doped. It was so strange and blissful at the same time. I couldn't help to smile almost all the time and feel that I was lacking oxygen to breathe and my heart was running a race against time. When the time arrived I arrived at the place of the ceremony and everything was like some sort of fairytale that I was telling myself to sleep tight. Miyu was dressed like a little princess in soft pink and my friends dressed the same as my maids were stunning and freaking beautiful in the same color. My male friends were quite handsome and dashing and my other dear ones seemed to have been brought back to life from the fairytale. The place was beautiful decorated with a lot of flowers, especially white roses, and it was magnificent, elegant and very according to our world and the elegance and grace of the groom. Everything that I had dreamed of and had tried to use in the preparation was perfect and exact and I was marveled and lost in the details and hypnotized by the view. I didn't care the other people reunited there, just my dear people and friends, and when I entered the place with the sound of the music high and magical surrounding me and I walked by the large hall with Kakashi-sensei by my side and he was taking my arm gently and I held those pretty white and pink roses in my hands, I just focused on the silhouette of my Uchiha waiting for me. I don't know why but I felt like floating and the time slowed down and suddenly I was with him and Kakashi-sensei gave my hand to him and the ceremony of the Land of Fire for the marriage began. I couldn't help to stare at Sasuke-kun intensely and hypnotized catching every detail of his magnificent being. He was definitely a prince right now, wearing a suit that combined ninja elements like my own dress in black and white and he looked the best I had ever seen him since I knew him. I couldn't believe I was going to marry this perfect mannequin, this handsome and talented young man. What surprised me the most was his soft and calm expression that didn't show a hint of coldness or indifference, just his common seriousness and control. Side by side to him as I tried to put attention to the man in front of us doing the traditions of Konoha and the Land of Fire marrying us, I couldn't help to be overwhelmed by what I had done. I had married him finally and I was his even if he didn't want me. He was mine even if he didn't know it. I belonged to him and he to me even if we hadn't married before. I wished with all my heart to hope to be turned real. I wanted to believe in a brighter future. I wanted happiness and not only sadness. I wanted the best for my little girl and for my now husband. I really did.

The ceremony went on in peace and good timing and perfection and still I was like doped and living inside a beautiful dream. Sasuke-kun couldn't talk and we had talked about that part of the common vows to be said. We concluded that we didn't need it to say it out loud and they were only read once as he and I were in front of the other and he just took my hand and kissed it gently and I nodded once with a sincere smile. Even in my gone state I knew I had to control my wavering hopeful heart and I couldn't just act like a damn fangirl even in this situation. That was our way to do our vows and the ceremony went on till it finished. The place was filled with applause, smiling faces and expressions of appreciation and joy when we were presented to the Konoha's society as the Uchihas and Sasuke-kun took my face in his hands and kissed me as the tradition was. I answered his soft and burning kiss with normal eagerness (I couldn't forget my act not even in this situation even when I wanted to kiss him much more) and my closed eyes filled with unshed tears as I was paralyzed on my spot without daring to touch his perfection, fearing everything was a lie, a dream. He caressed softly my cheeks with his thumbs after kissing me and for a moment his black serene eyes fixed on my jade emotive ones and I couldn't know what he saw in them and what he had showed me in his. After the ceremony ended the congratulations from Miyu, my mother, friends and people and the cheer and chatter and photographs came and it was a joy filling the air and the assistants and we parted to the place of the reception. Sasuke-kun and I went first to have the little legal ceremony and put in legal order our marriage in company of our closest friends and sensei and my mother and our daughter and then we both went to have our special photographs taken. Again the strange calm surrounded us in our silence and not personal sharing but I was so happy that I didn't care. Just being there beside him was enough for me now. He was never rude with me and we returned on time to the reception and I was still inside the daydreaming and the excitement of everything. We were received by applause and then we were presented again as the Uchihas and then we had our first dance together. I controlled my nerves when he took me by the hand and we went to the center of the place and I tried hard to not trip over and dance as elegant and graceful as he was doing it. Damn, did he have to do everything perfect? We started to dance and his left hand was on my waist and the right one held my right one and my left one was on his left shoulder and we were close. We danced an entire very long song that Hinata had chosen personally and it was beautiful and heartbreaking and I had to look straight to his face all the while remembering myself why this had happened. We were like partners in crime, like accomplices pretending and lying to others and frankly I couldn't care less. Right then, dancing in his arms at the rhythm of that compassing and pretty song I just focused in the moment and enjoyed it. I was looking up and facing him and he was staring at me too in total control and calm and we both knew why we were there and why we were like that. He smelled so nice and his hold was tight and perfect and I felt myself flying away from everything dreaming inwardly and smiling like a fool just to me. I wanted this dance to last forever but soon it ended and then I had to dance with Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-kun had to dance with my mother. Then every one of our friends wanted to dance with either of us and we didn't dance again together. I danced with Naruto, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sai, Neji, Lee, Kiba, Shino, Gai-sensei, Iruka-sensei, Kankuro and the Kazekage. The worse was Naruto and Gai-sensei, of course. They had almost tripped over my fancy dress. Sasuke-kun danced with my mother, Ino, Tenten, Hinata, Temari, Tsunade-sama, Shizune, Kurenai-sensei and Anko. He danced less than me and I couldn't help to peep on him waiting for me on the table to finish with my list and I watched him dancing with our little girl who was brimming in joy and giggling totally enchanted by everything. I wondered if she was going to remember this. The time for the dinner came and we retrieved to our table with Miyu and my mother and the party went on perfectly. The place was decorated in the same majesty as the first one and it was like a dream came true. It was like my dream, almost. The people seemed to be having fun and enjoying it.

"Can I dance with the _happy _wife?"

The man that had come representing the Council (to testify, in Tsunade-sama's opinion) asked to me. I smiled courteous as Sasuke-kun placed a hand on top of mine a little uneasy. I clutched it softly showing him that it was ok.

"Of course."

I got up from my seat and I glanced back to Sasuke-kun with a smile noticing his disgruntled expression. He didn't like that man and this situation. I went with the man and we started dancing accompanied by many other couples there, one of them was Sai and Ino who immediately put their attention on us. The man was dressed elegant and was middle aged. He had a sly look that I didn't trust. At first he congratulated me and he talked about how everything was stunning, beautiful and amazing and I just smiled and nodded as my only responses.

"We're glad that he has _finally_ married the girl that loved him for ages." He started and I noticed the edge of irony and mockery in his words. I smiled just out of courtesy. "We're surprised by how quick you _organized_ this magnificent wedding. It was very amazing to know that Sasuke Uchiha and you were going to marry _so soon_ when you had such a _complicated_ relationship. I hope I'm not bothering you with our humble opinion."

"Of course not." I said still with a fake smile. "We had a daughter together so I guess it was matter of time for us to marry."

"Yes, of course. But it was a curious timing that you decided it when your _husband _was in such a problem due to his _complicated health_."

"Well, that doesn't change the fact that we were going to marry some day. I had planned this day since a long time ago."

I knew perfectly that with our fake education and courtesy we were really attacking and proving the other. I had to be careful if I didn't want to make a mistake that could put our plan at risk.

"It was an unfortunate thing that it had to be this way when my _husband _was framed by mistake."

The man narrowed his attentive and cold eyes and smirked as we spun around with the rhythm of the song. I laughed still smiling with faked innocence.

"I can show you if you want, Sir."

"Really?"

I nodded calmly and stopped dancing forcing the man to stop too. I sought inside the inside pocket I had asked my mother to sew hidden in the dress and I pulled out the small white book that it had accompanied me the last days with my mad plan. In the cover the legend "Diary" was written in golden letters and I opened it showing it to the interested and false man of the Council.

"See? I had this diary since I was very little. Well, you know, girls love to have these." I said laughing without emotion and shrugging. "Anyway, I had always wanted to marry Sasuke Uchiha. I cannot believe I had done it, you know. It's like a dream come true. I remembered I put here all my ideas for our wedding and I had a lot of changes through the years. I grew up of course and the likes and opinions over stuff changed thank heavens."

I chuckled passing it to him and staring at him studying his reaction. He smiled coldly watching the old pages about my childish babbling about the wedding of my dreams with the boy of my dreams changing to my teenager's love. I was quite embarrassed for showing it and I had showed it to my friends and mother when they had said they wanted to help me with a lot of shame of course. I had brought it with me now as a lucky charm and good memory and now I was grateful I had done it. The man chuckled visibly angered but covering it well.

"It's exactly as the last wishes you wrote. Congratulations for making it true, Mrs. Uchiha."

"Thank you." I said as he gave it back to me and I hid it again in the hidden pocket of my great skirt. "It's really surprising, isn't it?"

To my good luck my mother approached me and I thanked her inwardly. She wrapped an arm around my waist protectively and I knew she was acting alert as me with the man.

"Everything was perfect." She started happily. "Don't you think?"

"Yes, of course. It was a beautiful ceremony and reception. I'm impressed. We're so happy for Sakura. At last Sasuke Uchiha _noticed _that she was the best option he could _choose_."

His words stung my heart and I felt my mother feeling it too when she held me tighter. When someone stopped to greet the man he excused to us but didn't leave his spot. So he wanted to talk more. I glanced back to my table and watched Sasuke-kun staring at us while he was helping Miyu to eat cake. He was brooding and thoughtful and I just nodded to him trying to tell him everything was fine. I couldn't help to be overwhelmed by everything that diary reminded me and the lie this was, the bittersweet feeling I always felt intensified and for a second the sorrow covered my lost in thought face and shadowed my jade gaze. It was like if the dream came true. Almost.

"Sakura" My mother said smiling softly and understanding in low voice. "You're sad honey. You have your dreamed wedding as you assured that man but you're sad because it wasn't as everything you wanted, isn't it?"

I was stunned by her instinct and I shook my head with an easy and little smile kissing her cheek. I couldn't talk because my throat felt tight and it hurt and my eyes burned watering. She sighed kissing my cheek.

"You're doing a great effort for that boy. I didn't know you really loved him so much. I'm sorry, Sakura."

"Don't be. And don't worry. I'll be fine. I'm just nostalgic and everything was so perfect and magical that I'm still processing it. I'll be fine, you'll see. We'll be fine."

"Excuse me for leaving you ladies." The man said after he dismissed the other person and turned to us. Luckily for me I had gathered my composure and I was smiling as before. "I hope you won't mind dancing with me once more, Mrs. Uchiha."

My mother wasn't very happy for it and exchanged a secret worried glance with me and I nodded attentive at the man's antics. The man had extended his hand to take mine when someone interrupted us like if he was heavenly sent.

"Excuse me but I think it would be better if she dances with me. I have to leave sooner. You know, I have business to attend."

The serious and monotone voice said and the man narrowed his eyes disgusted but smirked shrugging. My mother and I smirked too inwardly and she left saying a courteous goodbye relieved.

"Of course, Kazekage-sama! I can dance later with Mrs. Uchiha."

"Thank you."

"It will be a pleasure." I said watching as Gaara the man going away very angered by his interruption. I let out a deep breath and I looked at the red haired leader grateful. He was dressed very well and looked imposing and handsome, maybe not as my husband but he looked impressive. "Thank you, Gaara-sama."

He nodded and then we proceeded to dance knowing that the man was staring at us and following our steps one by one in a very secretive and annoying way. I knew that with Gaara I didn't need to talk because he wasn't a talkative person and I felt at ease in his company. It had been a good act from him to save me from that damn witness from the Council who had even bugged us in this important day. Even with that I asked him about his life as the main leader of Sunagakure and his personal life and he answered me in his own way remembering how the things had been at first when all of us had met him years ago. He still had that black rings around his eyes, softened, but he had them and that piercing emerald eyes. His dancing was a little stiff but it was better than Naruto and Gai-sensei's anyway.

"I'm glad I didn't kill you that time." He said sincerely surprising me. "I'm glad for Miyu-chan and Sasuke."

"Thank you, Gaara-sama." I smiled to him moved knowing what he really meant with his words and he just nodded. "I wonder when you're going to marry. I guess my wedding would be nothing comparing to yours."

I laughed joyfully and he just snorted rolling his eyes in a way I hadn't ever seen in him but it was funny to see.

"I think Temari is going to be the first to marry from us." He made a brief pause. "And anyway, I don't think there are many girls who would want to marry me."

"Oh come on. Look, you have your own club of fangirls." I motioned to a corner where some girls were squealing excited watching us dancing. But Gaara just shook his head thoughtful. "I think I didn't say it right. I don't think there are many girls who would want to really marry the _real me_. Back in Sunagakure I had… fangirls too but they simply don't know all the truth about me or don't really _see me _as _I am_."

I nodded realizing what he was saying. The song ended and we stopped and I was glad that at least the major part of the selection of the music was to dance it with couple. I knew Sasuke-kun wouldn't ever dance other kind of stuff like probably Gaara, Neji, Sai, Shikamaru or Shino and it was funny to see Naruto and Gai-sensei dancing it.

"Is he staring at us still?"

My red haired friend asked and I nodded catching the man's stare askance.

"Do you want to dance other to keep him away?"

"No, in fact I'm a little thirsty and tired and I need to go back to calm Sasuke-kun. He wasn't very pleased with that man's presence."

"It's understandable. I was hoping to dance just to keep away those fangirls too."

I laughed amused by his intent of joke with that seriousness of him and I was going to say something when someone unexpected, again, interrupted us.

"I want to dance with you, Kazekage-sama."

We both turned around to see Hanabi Hyuuga standing there and watching us with decision. She was as beautiful as Hinata but her hair was longer even than hers and straight and dark brown. She had the same big pearl eyes that looked intensely and piercing and unlike the sweetness and softness you could find in Hinata's glance. She was like thirteen years old by now but she had a delicate figure of a soon teenager and some shapes from her body were already molding into a girly frame just like her sister. She was very different from her older sister but they had united since years ago when their father had treated better and equally the both recognizing the talent and defects of every girl.

"Hello Hanabi-san."

She nodded to me briefly as I watched how she didn't lose detail in his observation of Gaara. _This is a fierce and straightforward person_, I thought amused and amazed. I laughed inwardly noticing the weird nervousness and confusion written all over the Suna's famous ninja.

"Well, I have a husband to attend. Thank you, Gaara-sama."

He nodded to me with a weird pleading look and I waved a goodbye smiling amused. I walked away just enough to leave them alone and I stopped and glanced back. I watched how Hanabi was the one who forced the posture on him to dance who was very intrigued by her behavior and then started dancing gracefully. Her head barely reached the middle of his chest but she looked up always and didn't leave his face looking at him directly and unreadable. She was even more enigmatic than Sasuke-kun. I chuckled as I returned quickly to my table and sat down beside my Uchiha. My mother had taken Miyu with her just as I had approached and I had kissed my little girl's cheeks before they went away. Miyu had giggled and was utterly happy and having fun. I took Sasuke-kun's hand on mine surprising him. Then I hugged him just to reach his ear.

"That man from the Council is watching us like a hawk. We need to be careful."

He nodded searching for the man askance and embracing me. I knew why we were acting like that but that didn't mean I didn't enjoy it and love it and that I didn't feel like melting. We remained like that for a moment and from time to time he kissed my hand or I kissed his cheek and we held hands and we hugged. All that just took me to that place where I was thinking what he really felt about me and about all this. Did he feel something, even little, when we acted this way? The sorrow wanted to kill me right then and there and I decided to drink a little to relax myself. They said alcohol relaxed you. Sasuke-kun couldn't drink anything with alcohol due to his medicines. Trying to relax myself I started to drink faster and nervously knowing we were watched until I realized that I was doing wrong and I was acting stupidly. Sasuke-kun hadn't stopped me and kept an eye on the man but he held me tight against his body and I was like a broken doll lying there in his embrace. Feeling my head a little light from the drinking and knowing I had to fix it I got up telling him that I was going to the bathroom. I went and I did a jutsu to free myself from the alcohol feeling a little divided. It had relaxed me and had clouded that bittersweet feeling plaguing my being from inside to outside and I had just focused in watching the others having fun and appreciating the proximity of Sasuke-kun. It had made me forget the hard reality a little. But I knew it was stupid so I left the bathroom that thank heavens was empty and I prepared myself to return to the wedding. I found Gaara near a balcony spacing out and all by himself and I wondered curious and concerned why he was there. Just when I was going to approach him, the damn man from the Council appeared and took me by the arm gently and smirking.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Uchiha. You promised to dance once more with me."

I smiled inwardly annoyed and sick and tired of him but I nodded and I returned with him to the party. We danced another song and he went on with the same kind of words as before. He wanted to catch me on a slip. But I was sharp now and not drunk thank God and I defended myself.

"Where are you going to spend your honeymoon?"

That question caught me off guard. We hadn't talked about it because it wasn't necessary. I had never considered that part even when it was present in my old diary because I knew this was a _business_. Was I really a masochistic to want to be all by myself with Sasuke-kun in some romantic and far away place? The sorrow fell upon me like a heavy curtain of rain and I had to do a big effort to hide it from the analyzing man. Why would I want a honeymoon with a man that didn't in fact want me in any way? Probably he even didn't want to make love to me once more… what a pathetic excuse of woman I was.

"We decided to not have it. Sasuke-kun isn't totally fine and we have work to do. Maybe later."

I smiled the best I could with serenity and calm. The man's eyes sparkled.

"But _sweetheart,_ the honeymoon is as important as the wedding! It doesn't matter that you have a daughter already or that his _condition _isn't in its best. Believe me, you're making a mistake. Later you would have a lot of more things to stop the both of you to have your _honeymoon._"

"Maybe you're right. But it's too late to do it, anyway."

I faked a smile and I was thankful when the damn song ended. The man still held me like if he didn't want to let me go and I felt really annoyed and angered by his behavior. The Council hadn't come but they had sent my worst nightmare to destroy my perfect wedding. I was going to excuse me and end with his damn interrogation and imposition even if I had to turn harsh and rude, with courtesy of course, when someone appeared behind me and removed the man's grasp from me. I had turned around to see who it was when the voice of the man echoed with the new song in the background.

"Sasuke Uchiha" The man said smirking with false pretense of appreciation as Sasuke-kun held me by the waist tightly. "It's a pleasure to dance with your new _wife_. She's lovely and talented as _you _are. I hope you don't mind if I keep her for another couple of songs."

The man laughed with his lie shining through his eyes and I glanced at Sasuke-kun warning him that it was fine and I could do it. I kissed his cheek lovingly whispering it to his ear but he didn't lessen his grip on me. Instead he held me tighter to his perfect body and I felt inwardly worried and tensed. He was narrowing his eyes in utter disgust and negation to the man that was smirking and watching us with inferiority, like if he knew the truth.

"Ok, you're right. This is _your _night. You have all the right to want _her _to yourself. I'm sorry, I can wait if you calm later. You don't need to feel _jealous_."

Jealous? I was inwardly surprised as the man laughed once more and excused himself and turned around glancing back at us just once with his eyes studying us and his smirk mocking us. Jealous? I asked to myself turning to see Sasuke-kun's expression. He was deathly serious and disgruntled and had a dangerous and cold glint in his eyes. But watching him closely and good I knew that it wasn't exactly jealousy. Of course, he couldn't feel it because he didn't feel that way about me. Probably he just wanted to help me and protect me from that man (was he flirting with me? yuck!) and that was the truth at the end. Anyway when I analyzed his posture and how he was holding me I realized that he wasn't jealous defending _his love_. He was defending _his possession._ He was acting possessive like a wild cat and I couldn't help to giggle and feel amused and good for it. I knew I shouldn't, women weren't possession of men but for me it was priceless coming from him. He in his twisted way saw me as _his _and didn't want anyone trying to take me away from him. He saw me as _his _and I felt strangely touched to tears. He turned to me when he heard my giggle and I got serious and placed shyly my hands on his chest in a calm demeanor.

"It's ok. Don't listen to him. He's just trying to mess with us. Everything is fine. Thank you for coming to my aid."

Sasuke-kun's body relaxed a little and his expression softened. Without really asking me or giving me time to prepare he decided he wanted to dance with me once more (we had only danced the first song together all by themselves) and I gladly obeyed his desires. _Whatever my prince wants_, I thought smiling like feeling drunk without really being it and we danced a couple of songs in silence. In the last one I laid my head on his chest and he didn't reject me or react badly. I knew he had his attention locked on the man but I didn't care. Just to be there in his warm arms and dancing closely. Some other men invited to our wedding wanted to dance with me but Sasuke-kun just glared daggers at them when they approached us to ask his permission and my acceptance and I giggled inwardly amused almost hearing him growling. The poor boys run for their life at his fierce stance and just when the music changed we retrieved to our table and watched Gai-sensei, Lee, Kankuro, Anko, Naruto, Ino, Tenten, Temari and Kiba dancing wildly with the new music. Again, some poor boys dared to approach our table to invite me to dance but Sasuke-kun's act drove them away immediately as he held me tight against him and I knew I had been right. _My, my, he's really into the possessive mode right now…_ So I sat down Miyu on my lap to avoid other poor boys to suffer the same fate and we remained sitting on our spots. Anyway I was very tired. The girls came to talk to me from time to time as the boys and Naruto spent an hour drunk talking to Sasuke-kun about old times and how much he loved him and us and he had ended crying on his shoulder making Sasuke-kun look cutely embarrassed. At least I had done well following Sasuke-kun's desire to stop someone from saying emotional speeches and making toasts. Sasuke-kun didn't want corny and sentimental moments, just as he always was. Kakashi-sensei had been the only one along with Tsunade-sama who made a toast and talked briefly and good about our marriage just congratulating us sincerely and wishing us the best in our new path together. When it was almost the morning of the next day and we were getting ready to leave (we were going to live for a while in my department) the man from the Council appeared once more speaking on a microphone and I tensed and felt nervous but Sasuke-kun clutched my hand tightly trying to soothe me. Miyu watched the man with interest.

"I asked previously to Mrs. Uchiha where they were going to spend their _honeymoon_." The man started with a glass on one of his hands when everyone's attention was on him. I gulped trying to control myself. "She told me that they hadn't planned it because of _circumstances_ as _health_ and _work_ but I told her _sincerely_ that they needed _it _as much as this _beautiful_ and _elegant_ wedding." He made a brief pause and I fixed my stare on him calmly as Sasuke-kun's was doing it. "So I felt really _saddened _and _concerned _for this _young and_ _beautiful couple_ and I wondered what I, as the person sent by the Council itself, could do in my name and its name for them. I'm sure all of you are agreeing with me in this. Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha deserve their_ honeymoon_ as any other _couple _that marries here in our beloved Konoha."

Oh, oh. I didn't like where this was heading and I felt Sasuke-kun stiffening angered towards the man. Was he angered for the possibility of spending some time alone with me? Or it was because he felt some hidden purpose behind the false man's words? What it mattered to me when I had known that things like this waited for me when I had decided to marry him? I didn't want either the honeymoon because I knew what it meant: be all by myself with Sasuke-kun and without work and chores and Miyu. Just the two of us. Without sharing it as the married couple we were now. I knew I couldn't blame Sasuke-kun, we were very clear in this marriage and I knew I couldn't force him into anything and I didn't want it that way. But I couldn't get rid of the bittersweet feeling of the reality even when I knew I had brought this to me on my own terms.

"So I talked with the Council." The man said cheerfully and slyly. "And we discovered that we hadn't given anything to the _newlyweds_ as a sign of congratulating them for their marriage and I proposed to them to pay them their honeymoon."

Lighting fell from sky and struck me at his words. I slightly trembled and Sasuke-kun's expression darkened but he remained still and calm. Miyu innocently clapped on my lap. I caught my friends' stare on us and I knew they were worried for me. I smiled softly showing them that I was fine and everything was fine even when I was shaking inwardly in uncertainty. Naruto's drunken state even disappeared listening to the man. It was very funny to see.

"You'll have a complete week to spend in a near place from Konoha that we are positive you're going to _enjoy _and _like_. We cannot give you more time because you're right, Mrs. Uchiha, you have things to take care of but I know you'll really have a nice honeymoon in a week. I'm sure your husband will appreciate it too."

The man raised his glass to Sasuke-kun and he just nodded as a robot. The man laughed and after drinking from it he started clapping bringing everyone to applause to us. Some minutes passed and then Tsunade-sama came to our table where Sasuke-kun was freezing serene and thoughtful and I was gone and quiet. Well, we couldn't get out of it and the Council probably was waiting for us to decline their _generous gift_. I frowned with a little smirk knowing that we were still playing when my last sensei approached me serious and concerned. My mother was the same by my side and Miyu was simply smiling calmly ignorant of my predicament.

"They really surprised you, right?" Tsunade-sama asked sighing exasperated. "Here it is their _gift_." She handed to me a white and heavy envelop and I took it. I noticed my friends talking among them in hushing tone with worried faces. "I guess you both are going to take it."

Sasuke-kun turned to us. He had been listening all the while but his stare was to the front and he nodded at the same time. I cleared my worry and sadness and I smirked wider with mischievous glance.

"Yes, we cannot decline their _kind offer_. Don't worry."

"I can't believe they're still trying to catch you." Mother said concerned but I smiled to her trying to calm her. "You have already married him."

"They won't let us go easy, won't they? But it's ok. We can handle it."

As a support and agreement Sasuke-kun took my hand with a little smirk plastered on his face. At least we were together against something. Tsunade-sama nodded calmer and smirking too and left us wishing us good luck. Soon we had to go and have our _nice honeymoon _that started that same morning and we quickly gave our goodbye to our friends and dear people before going first for our things to pack. I hugged and thanked all the ones I held dear to my heart before saying goodbye to my little girl with a big hug and kisses on her cheeks and forehead and I asked her to be a nice girl and I left her to my mother's and Ino's care. Sasuke-kun in his way (with nods and half hugs) gave his goodbyes and kissed Miyu's forehead as always. She waved goodbye to us smiling happily and soon Sasuke-kun and I were accompanied by Kakashi-sensei to pick up our things from our homes. First we were going to go for Sasuke-kun's and then for mine and the honeymoon that I hadn't planned was going to begin just for the Council's desire. I wondered what waited for me resigned and a little sad but I couldn't help to thank that I was going to spent some days with Sasuke-kun all by ourselves, even if it was in distance and silence.


	22. Moving

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in any way. It belongs to Kishimoto!

Hello to everyone!

Thanks to all of you who follow this story still. I hope you're enjoying it and don't worry, I'll keep it up to finish it like I promised and like I promised to update it sooner too. The only problem is that for the moment I don't have Internet like before so it takes longer to do it. This chapter seems to be calmer than other ones, I think ^^, but I hope you like it. After it a lot of things are going to happen, we're heading to the end, of course.

Let's go to the reviews then!

**ciel kazu**: Thank you for loving my story ^^! I hope for Sasuke to talk someday (meanie me, I'm just joking), but yeah, he'll regain his beautiful voice at least for certain moments so don't worry. Thanks a lot ^^!

**Massu Chan**: Don't worry about your computer, I don't mind to read your review direct from my mail till you can know what's happening ^^. Thank you for reviewing still! Thank you for saying that the last chapter was amazing and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope to keep it up good ^^ and thanks for saying that about my portrayed Sakura. It was very entertaining to write that part of the wedding with Sasuke acting like that! I'm glad I made you chuckle! Thanks for you opinion on this story, it means a lot to me ^^! I tried very hard to maintain the rhythm. Thanks a lot for your words ^^ and I hope to not disappoint you. There will be more sasusaku moments now that they're married ^^ and the things coming since this chapter! Sasuke's hormones kicked in very well as you can see XD! Thanks a lot!

**xx-tenshi-xx**: I'm so sorry for your ambivalence between hate and love! This story is a sasusaku one even if doesn't appear like one… sorry ^^! Well Sasuke had acted pretty badly indeed and had hurt Sakura a lot. There hadn't been really romance but I promise you that it is a sasusaku! Ho, ho, I really enjoy your reviews and I can't wait to see your final opinion when the story is finished. I wonder if you'll forgive Sasuke and if he can convince you about Miyu and Sakura ^^ in some point depending of the end. I can't wait to see what you think about the new chapter and I have the feeling that you'll skin me alive somehow XD! And you're very right: he had done a lot of things screwing up everything and even when he seems to care about her and don't want to hurt her more doesn't say that he loves her. It shows that Sasuke isn't as coldhearted as everyone thought he was at least one time in the story. Well, Sakura thought herself as a masochistic in a part of the chapter I think, wondering if she was only that. I wonder what you are going to think and review in the remaining chapters ^^! But yeah, Sakura had really crossed her own limits and the worse is that she realizes it in this new chapter. Very late indeed. Sasuke had done a lot of things that hadn't been explained through his point of view till now, if he can explain them. Let's see if at the end Sasuke can convince you or not ^^ of his real feelings and thoughts even if we don't know what to expect! Thanks a lot for your review as always!

**sasusaku779**: Don't worry for not reviewing before ^^! I'm glad you did it and that you're still following the story. Thank you for calling it a superb chapter! I was a little uneasy because of the wedding and I'm glad you liked it. I hope to give you more oodles of sasusaku soon. Believe me that now I had established a certain limit to the length, I couldn't let myself get carried away! I want to write the end! But there are still some things to write down before it. I'm glad you reread it when I hadn't updated it! Thanks for that! Even when it makes me happy when all of you read it the first time, it's special when you find a story you don't mind reading again (it had happened to me ^^). I'll try to update soon, I promise! Thanks a lot!

**Harry Potter Is my Pet llama**: Thank you for your review and opinion! I hope to see you around ^^ and to keep you interested! Thanks a lot!

**AVAuchiha**: Thanks for saying the chapters were good! I'm glad you liked them ^^. I really was uneasy about the wedding but I'm glad it turned out good. Hmmm… you're right about Sasuke and Sakura this time and I see that all of you are seeing it. I'll update the sooner I can, I promise! And yeah, Sakura's life now is bittersweet as she said it a lot of times. It was very funny to write the guy of the council! I liked writing Gaara too ^^. I hope you like this new chapter. Thanks a lot!

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only**: I have to say it was very interesting to read your dream about the story. In fact it's not anything like how the story is going to develop. Still your dream is very interesting and maybe I can use it in some way to other stuff ^^. Your dream was sad as one of the possible endings (among others out there). The only similar thing is that time is going to go forwards in some occasions, but just that ^^. Thanks to tell it to me and I'm glad that some of you have your own ideas for the story! Thanks a lot!

**sonia**: I'm glad you liked the chapter ^^. I'm sorry I don't update as soon as I want but at least I make up for the long wait XD. About the length, well I have to say that the remaining chapters are going to be long like the last few chapters and I'm glad you don't mind! He, he, I try to leave it interesting. I think you're part of the few that can say they agreed with Sasuke's decision and yeah, like someone in the chapter said; living together can do a lot. Let's hope it helps them somehow ^^! Well, the story is supposed to end at the chapter 27 and then it comes a long epilogue. That's the plan anyway ^^ but let's wait because sometimes the stories had their own mind! But that's the plan. About Sasuke's healing is more positive to happen than not till now ^^. Your question of the kids is answered in this chapter XD! I'll try to update quicker, I promise! Thanks to you for taking time to read it and review it ^^, thanks a lot for saying that about the chapter too. Thanks! I'm sorry for exciting you in vain with my note ^^! I promise to not keep you all in the dark so long and to finish this story till the end ^^. Thanks a lot to you from the bottom of my heart!

**Reira Strife**: Hello to you! Thank you for taking time to review my story ^^ and I'm glad you like it. Thanks for your words about it ^^! Thanks a lot! Your words had really struck me because I love reading books (novels) and I always tried to do it in that way XD. I really appreciate your opinion on the story and I hope I can keep it interesting till the end and to see you around! I'll try hard to keep up the good work and I hope that was still left and coming don't disappoint you ^^. Don't worry about your spelling and grammar mistakes, English is not my first language either XD! What language is your first? Best wishes to you too and thanks a lot! I'm glad you consider my story like that ^^, thank you! For taking time to read it and I hope you're still enjoying it ^^ and to do it still interesting enough for you. I hope that the part that it's left to be written will be still likeable and well thought ^^, I'm sorry for killing you with the wait, I understand it because it had happened to me with other stories, I really hope and promise to update sooner, since August I had had changes in my life like losing my job and so the internet because I don't have it at home and I like to read the story a few times to know if it's going to stay the way it was written at first ^^ but I'll try to keep all of you updated soon. Thank you for your words and for saying those last lines, you're the first person who had told me that ^^ and perhaps one day I'll write something else that it's totally mine. Best wishes to you ^^.

**quackness-of-the-uber-penguins**: Welcome ^^ and thank you for reviewing my story. I'm glad you like it really even if it drives you nuts! I hope you're still working in your own story. I understand you, sometimes the muse of inspiration is gone and it is difficult to go on but I'm happy that at least my fic had helped you to continue with your own ^^ and thank you for your kind words! Thanks!

**Babykat570**: Thank you for your patience!

**thatsohot**: You're right, I think somewhere in my profile it said that I was from Mexico ^^. Thank you for saying that about my fanfic ^^, thanks a lot! And yeah, I speak Spanish ^^. I have thought in translating this one to Spanish and till now I don't have another new idea to write a new story in Spanish about Sasuke and Sakura. I read more fanfiction of Naruto in English because there's a lot much more than in my own language and besides it had helped me a lot to improve in my English's abilities, learning new words or phrases, I'm not a very good speaker in fact, I don't speak it as good as I read, write or even hear it. In particular I love languages. This story was thought in English since the beginning and it had helped me too to not put more things in there that it could have made it longer or more complicated because I'm still limited in it despite the fact that I'm writing it the best I can. Writing in English had focused me even more as well. I'm sure that if I had written this story in Spanish it would have been larger and more complex because I had already written some stuff in Spanish and believe I know of what I'm talking ^^. Thank you for taking time to read it! Don't worry, one day you'll know what's going on with Sasuke. Thanks for loving it!

**The Catch**: Thank you for reading and reviewing it ^^!

**MasterCleanse**: Yeah, Sasuke had behaved terribly ^^!

**Itachiisaweasel**: I'll try to update quicker, I swear! I'm glad you're excited about what's going to happen now, I only hope that you'll like it ^^! Thank you for your patience and support!

**jay-alexis**: I'm glad I still got you! Thank you for waiting! And don't worry, I'll take my time ^^ and I'll try to update sooner and quicker! Thank you!

**akasuna no bharath**: Thank you for your review ^^ and I want to clarify something about the story in particular, this story is supposedly to happen after whatever end the manga had, so Danzo is dead and there's a new council so that's why I've never used his character. The seal was supposed to contain Sasuke because the new Council even when they aren't the same don't like and don't trust in Sasuke after all so they want to control him. Sasuke later proves to them that they don't have it easy anyway ^^. Sasuke is different now and hadn't returned to his former glory because that's all behind in this story and he wandered around the world still trying to deal with his issues. I thank you for remembering me the thing about the seal ^^ and I hope this answer can make you understand now what's happening in the story so far. I'm sorry for messing up pronouns and I'm trying to check each chapter before updating but sometimes I guess I miss some mistakes ^^. Don't worry, I didn't get offended and I appreciate your sincere opinion and review, thank you!

**hikari98:**I'm sorry for taking so long to update! And thank you for staying out there waiting ^^. Thank you for your sincere and kind words ^^ and don't worry, I won't discontinue, it will be finished and I'm not going to take so long to update, I promise ^^. Thanks for your review and I hope you're still enjoying it ^^, thank you!

**Chapter 22**

**Moving**

_Sakura POV_

Knowing we were watched by the Council we took their _generous and kind _gift in the sign of our honeymoon and we were in a couple of hours away from Konoha in a special transport sent by that annoying man. Kakashi-sensei promised to take care of the moving of Sasuke-kun's things to my little department and we remained silent and calm all the way to the small and special place the Council had arranged for us. We were holding hands just to not forget that we were watched when we were leaving Konoha behind and we kept it that way till we reached the place outside the village from a couple of hours in the middle of the forest. The place was formed by a dozen of beautiful and comfortable wooden cabins and it was almost deserted and highly romantic and magical to my bad luck. The only different cabin was another large one where the people who owned the place and run it lived and the couples that were staying there went to register, be guided to their cabin and took the meals and ask about the surroundings. It was very private and enchanting and I couldn't help to feel sadder knowing that the Council had won me in this. All the place was beautiful and threw to my face my fake marriage that was a business and arrangement. Thank God it seemed that there weren't a lot of hosts in the moment. I smiled and acted normally being beside Sasuke-kun as the owner welcomed us and took us to our cabin that was the one more elegant and pretty and of course, far away and soon we were all by themselves in that precious temporal romantic home. It was easy to forget about everything in here when you were a couple madly in love. But for me it was a crude reminder of the reality and a way to break my calm and resigned spirit and I was sure that for Sasuke-kun was a prison where he had to stay with someone he didn't love as the general theme demanded. Anyway I tried to do my best and take it in the best way and relax myself. These were vacations somehow. We were very tired and I was worried for Sasuke-kun's state after the wedding and we decided to sleep all the afternoon to recover energy after having breakfast. Sasuke-kun hadn't minded in sleeping with me in the same bed, after all I guessed it was a normal thing now that we were married even if it wasn't completely real and after I checked him up and gave him his meds he immediately fell asleep. It took me longer due to everything that had happened and I rested beside him in silence and finally realizing what had happened. When the wedding was taking place I was just like living in a different dimension and it was now that everything sank finally in my mind. I had married Sasuke Uchiha, I was his wife and I was going to live with him. I had protected him and I had saved him and I knew finally that everything had been true and real, the wedding and this honeymoon. My green tired eyes watered finally and I held back my sobbing because I didn't want him to see me crying. It wasn't that I regretted it and it wasn't that I didn't treasure just being there with him even in his distance and silence, it was that I knew really in what conditions we were going to live and we were going to act like partners in crime and not even like friends, something that could have made me happier even a little. It was that bittersweet feeling I couldn't get rid off ever and I was sad and tearful because I didn't have my complete dream just as mother had told me before.

I tried to clear my head and I closed my eyes and I tried to sleep at least for a while. I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally and soon the tiredness took over me. Hours later when I woke up I noticed that it was nighttime already. I laid there watching hypnotized and enchanted at Sasuke-kun's sleeping silhouette and I smiled in spite of my real state of heart. I decided to get up and I took a shower to clear my confused head. When I was dressed and I was brushing my hair I noticed the bottle of fine sake on the center of the wooden round table and the pair of crystal pretty glasses. I smiled breathing deeply and I opened it and I decided to have a drink. I hadn't wanted to drink a lot in the wedding (apart that embarrassing moment) because I was afraid that I could have make a mistake but right now I didn't see anything wrong in taking a single drink. It tasted better than I had guessed and I walked around the cabin watching it with more interest than the first time we had entered. Every single damn detail was focused in romanticism and it mocked me straight to the face. I smirked sadly watching through the windows at the beautiful forest outside surrounding us and I didn't see that in fact I went on drinking more and more unconsciously. I was quiet and careful because I didn't want to wake him up and I sat down in front of one window looking at the nocturnal sky feeling relaxed and lightheaded. Everything seemed so different being a little drunk. I remembered all the wedding and all that Sasuke-kun and I had _shared _to make it appear real and I couldn't help to start sobbing with melancholy. _Stupid girl, you shouldn't cry. You brought this to yourself, you started it. Now you cannot take it back and even feeling like crap in reality you don't want to take it back, don't you? _I sighed sadly and deeply drying my useless and lame tears and I looked at the half empty bottle of sake in my hands. _Sasuke-kun cannot drink. I cannot even share it with him. _I sighed once more lost in thought and smiling to myself remembering my wedding with a nicer point of view.

Definitely everything seemed different when you're a little drunk.

* * *

The medic nin didn't know how it had happened. One moment she was totally fine drinking and reminiscing about the memories of hours and hours ago and then she was feeling sick and inside the bathroom drunk, melancholic and throwing up even worse than when she was pregnant of Miyu. It was near the midnight and she was there sitting on the floor with her head over the toilet spacing out and calm knowing she had brought it to herself just for wanting to feel less sad and choosing to drown her suffering in the dangerous waters of sake. Maybe her father was right and she was just an immature and stupid child. She felt someone approaching her and she knew who it was. He was the only other occupant of that pretty cabin anyway. Sasuke stood watching her for a moment always silent and observant and then he just knelt down beside her and stroked her hair brushing it softly. Sakura was still very affected by the side effects of the sake even when she had performed the jutsu to feel better like she had done in the wedding. For a moment she wondered if she wasn't dreaming him there accompanying her by will without judging or scolding her for her stupid behavior. She turned to face him and stared at him in silence contemplative and longing. Was he real? And if he was, why he was real? She smiled softly and glad for seeing him there, _her prince who didn't look really at her _as his fingers remained brushing her hair away from her face. His fingertips burned her skull and send chills through her body as usual. They remained like that for a long moment and she wondered if he was just taking care of her out of courtesy and marital obligation.

"You know that I love you, right? I love you deeply, hopelessly and intensely." The pink haired girl said casually with normal voice and calm written all over her face. She wasn't reclaiming anything to him; she was just saying the truth. He could handle the truth, right? Sasuke remained still and attentive at her and his face was unreadable as always but he wasn't angered or cold. "It hurts me that you never showed a little spark of affection for me. Not even a tinge of the affection of love. But I understand it. I know you don't feel that way about me and I know perfectly that I cannot change your heart. I know it and I accept it so don't feel bad about it or for me. I'm just a little weird due to that stupid sake. I'll be fine. Women are so strange, don't you think?"

She smiled once more and then she kept quiet for a long moment. After she felt better and in all her senses she thanked him naturally for his care and company and she got up from the floor, brushed her teeth and washed her face. Sasuke watched her in the same way for a second before going to the door. Sakura stopped him while she looked at herself on the mirror with interest and thoughtful jade eyes.

"Can I ask you something?"

The medic nin looked at him by the mirror turning to face her and he nodded serious as always but serene. Sakura blushed a little and cleared her throat before talking and lowered her gaze not wanting to meet his inquisitive eyes.

"Do you feel at least attracted to me? Physically? Am I pretty enough for you to feel attraction towards me? I had always wondered you know, because we have a beautiful and smart little girl."

She grinned just talking about Miyu and she thought that Sasuke-kun was going to ignore her. She was acting pretty weird and probably he blamed it on the sake. She brushed a little her hair before sighing deeply but suddenly she noticed that she had him behind her in a flash. She hadn't seen him moving and she hadn't sensed him. The brush fell from her fingers due to the surprise and he suddenly took her in his arms spinning her around to face him. Soon they were pretty close and looking at the other straight to the eyes in total stillness and silence till he unexpectedly kissed her fiercely and passionately holding her tightly against his body. Sakura was quite surprised and shocked at first but couldn't escape from the intensity and eagerness she felt for it. She had wanted so much to have him again like this, just for her, just the two of them, even if it was just because he was indeed physically attracted to her and didn't love her. In question of minutes they were desperately kissing and touching and just their harsh and quickened breathing sounded in the quietness of their romantic cabin. Still holding each other in a melting embrace Sasuke started to move to return to the other room and Sakura followed him obedient and not wanting to let him go. Her mind was totally submitted to it and she erased the logic and reasons to wonder about this and doubt it and even the idea of stopping it was painful to imagine. She just let her go her worries, fears and hesitation and let her heart to control her yearning body when Sasuke's own was demanding his possession over it. They reached the bed where they had slept just hours ago peacefully and unaware that so much desire and passion was lying there in secret and silence and they barely took time to breathe and stop their endless caressing and kissing covering every inch they already knew of the other's body so well. The pink haired flustered and hypnotized young woman just stopped to let her hands to undress him with skillful velocity and mastery while he waited her to finish and kept kissing her on the neck with fervent and slow caresses. She smiled satisfied and proud of herself when he was totally naked in front of her and felt a little embarrassed and soon was blushing noticing that this was the first time when they were intimately together that she had done it first. She remained still and silent with her hands running through his chest and arms feeling very ashamed and not wanting to meet his black gaze. Sasuke lifted her face by her chin gently surprising her before giving her time to prepare for his renewed, fierce and passionate kissing. Her lips were swollen and warm and desiring and obeying his silent orders and soon she forgot her shyness and let her hands to wonder all over his perfect body with desperation and surrendering. When their eyes met there was a silent connection that she couldn't explain. He was in his common serious and unreadable expression but his onyx orbs were filled with strange emotion as she stared contemplating them enchanted and totally in love. Just love. No hiding, no pretending, no lying. No trying to conceal the hurricane of feelings and emotions that were ravaging her deeply and intensely from her inside. He could know the truth right now.

It didn't take Sasuke long to undress her just as skillful and quickly as she had done it with him and she only regretted, in that little part of her brain that was the only one thinking right now and not feeling and calling him master, that she wasn't wearing the underwear she had worn in the wedding, the one Temari had given to her. Right now she was just using her common white and simple underwear but at the end it didn't matter, she guessed. Sasuke got rid off it in the blink of an eye. The natural blush colored her face knowing of her nudity in front of him like always but she got soon over it when Sasuke still embracing her possessively and strongly laid her on the soft and comfortable mattress with him on top of her and they restarted their kissing and touching in the middle of their harsh breathing and her increasing moaning. Sakura's eyes soon were blurred and she felt that her heart was exploding and soon it was going to get out from her shivering chest when he was covering all her trembling body with his fervent kisses and everlasting caresses stirring all kind of sensations never forgotten in her. Her hands fisted on the sheets as her pulse raced and the blood run hot and wild inside her veins. That little part of her brain was trying to talk to her logically asking her: _what are you doing? _But she didn't listen to, she couldn't when she was in the arms of the man she loved with all her soul in spite of the past and the things that still were in the middle of the both and less when they were so intertwined and rolling on the mattress in an equal fight for dominance. Never in those past intimate moments they had shared there had been so much desperation, fierceness and passion. She recalled those times of their lovemaking slower, softer and gentler, still intense and profound, but not like this time. She had never acted like she was doing it right now, like if the world was going to end tomorrow and she feared to not be close to hold him with such possession fearing he could disappear suddenly. She couldn't analyze it right now and she didn't want to but she had noticed it while she surrendered finally to his demand and control panting, moaning and crying out his name for the first time without a suffix. That little part of her brain still working properly was soon shut down by her throbbing heart and wavering soul in total bliss and disconnection to the world when he was finally taking her as he had done it so many months ago.

How many times they played the same game without exchanging a word between them? How many times they rested side by side looking at the ceiling in quietness and she laid her head on his shoulder holding softly his hand in hers and he didn't reject that simple gesture? How they can be so peaceful then and later return to the same desperate and fierce passion to deliver once more their being to the other so easily? The emerald eyed medic nin could barely know. Her head was still swaying due to the little effects of the sake and Sasuke's answer to her question and it was just like in the wedding: a daydreaming, something she couldn't ever dream in having once more in her life. Neither Sasuke nor she had ever talked about _this, _about the possibility of _it _happening once more between the both. Surely neither of the both thought it possible anyway and it had happened unexpectedly. She wondered how Sasuke was going to take it and see it. They were married, right? They were husband and wife. It was normal to have sex then, right? But their marriage wasn't _normal _and they hadn't discussed the issue like they should have done it days ago. And the worst was that she once more had confessed her stupid feelings to him and she had promised herself to not do it ever again and not bother him with it. They barely slept the rest of the night and the morning of the next day and just when the sunrise came she was tired enough to fall asleep. He was already sleeping peacefully since a moment ago. Sakura stared at him for a long moment in silence and loving observance knowing they had done something that it shouldn't have happened with tears dwelling in her jade eyes. This was going to complicate things between the both and it had never been her sincere intention.

"Sleep tight, Sasuke."

She kissed softly his cheek and turned around giving her back to him and silently letting the tears fell down her eyes calmly. Before the sweet forget of the dream took her away she couldn't help to realize that she had almost had the wedding night she had always wanted and that thought made her smile weakly in spite of the sadness creeping all over her being. It had been almost perfect and she couldn't regret it ever. Not once although it hurt her too.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"I want to talk with you, Sasuke."

I said not beating around the bushes and sincerely the next afternoon as we were returning from having lunch at the main cabin. I was sat down in one of the steps of the entrance of our cabin and Sasuke was standing by my side a few inches away and resting his back against one of the wooden pillars. I had behaved normally since our awakening some hours ago and I had blushed horribly noticing how we were sprawled naked and intertwined without a sheet covering us. Immediately I had covered myself ashamed and affected for what had happened between us even when I was to blame too and acting as always I was I went to the bathroom and took a shower easing myself and thinking in everything. Later Sasuke had taken one too and he had acted his old self too, distant, unreachable and serious but at least not cold or mean till now and we had decided to eat something. Like I had predicted there was just silence and distance between us when we were totally alone and that respect and compliance. Nothing more. We were more at ease than in our previous relationship but that didn't get us emotionally closer. Just more weirdly comfortable around the other and I had to force myself to return to my control and normalcy as I had lived the wedding and the previous days of it. In the wedding I had been completely reminded of the nature of our marriage but here everything had changed and had crumbled around me stupidly and it had happened. We had had sex again after a long time and I had made love to him all night long in a way that it colored red my face and ashamed me. I had realized how the things had changed between us so much and how everything was more complicated than I had expected that unconsciously I had started calling him just _Sasuke_ and he didn't mind. In fact I thought I saw his lips curling up a little in a defiant smirk but probably I imagined it. Well, he was my husband now after all and I couldn't keep calling him _Sasuke-kun_ forever. That suffix just made me remember my childhood dreams. But it wasn't too late, I told myself, to put everything in clear and avoid those _situations_ I had mentioned but I had never really talked about with him.

"Listen, I want to apologize for saying those things. I told you before that I knew the truth and I accepted it and that I wasn't going to bother you with it." I said simply honest watching him calmly. He was staring at me by the corner of his black orbs serene. "I lost my mind with that damn sake." _Well, it's true in a little part_. "So I'm sorry for it. I don't want to complicate our agreement and I promise you that it won't happen again. Don't worry, it cannot last forever." _Yeah, of course, try to believe what you're saying, you moron. _"Anyway, I think we need to… discuss the situation that happened to avoid future problems."

Sasuke nodded serious and then sat down beside me but a few inches away from me. _That's perfect. Don't come any closer, please, because I would melt once more. I don't want to have you again, I don't want to be yours again, I don't want to belong to you once more, I don't want to be owned by you, I don't want to own you in spite of your ignorance of it… it's not like I don't want it, it's just that I don't want to be more attached to you. It hurts._

"We have recognized that we… feel attracted to the other, at least physically, I guess." I watched him waiting for a reaction but he didn't change his common expression. "But when we agreed in this _marriage _I guess we didn't discuss it. It's not right to be involved again in this way just for that… I cannot be involved in it again… Don't take me wrong, I don't regret in any way what happened yesterday. Don't ever think that."

I knew I was being stupid saying that when I had already done what I had done and I had been the first one to undress him. But to be truly honest I had never thought that it was going to be so hard to made love to him again knowing the truth about his feelings. I had thought that I was going to be strong enough if it ever happened again but I had been wrong all along. _If it happened_, I thought, I was strong enough to enjoy it without strings attached. I had done wrong not asking him if he expected _that _from me, to do my job as his _wife _demanded correctly and normally. I had underestimated the issue and now I was paying for it.

"Are you expecting for it again? You know, like a normal couple does it, I guess…"

Unsurprisingly he shook his head and I didn't know if I had to feel better or worse for his answer. Did I have to feel relieved to not be reminded again of what I don't own, his heart, or did I have to feel sad because he didn't expect to have sex again with me? Either way it didn't matter. It was better this way. But I had to discuss another matter and it was related to the same.

"I just want to be involved if… if you want to have more children." I said slightly blushing and smiling shyly. He looked at me a little surprised and thoughtful. "You know, I won't mind if time later I have more children. I don't want Miyu to be an only child and I guess that you want more children too." He nodded after a brief pause and it touched me the sadness that covered his face for a moment. "So… we agree in that. When we're ready to have another baby, we'll discuss it and we'll… do it. I'll gladly have another baby of you."

I smiled widely and sincerely and he just nodded once agreeing with me. I didn't need to say anymore and somehow I was glad that we had talked about it now. Last night had been unforgettable and I wasn't going to regret it ever and I still shivered when I remembered the feel of his skin and his kisses and touching and the blissful moment when we were one. But it was better this way and I knew it even if it was bittersweet as everything related to him was now to me.

The rest of the week of our _honeymoon _was quiet and calm. We spent the days walking around the beautiful forest and doing researching and I talked with the other people present in the place. I was sure everyone thought that we were a happy couple, I was acting as I had decided and Sasuke even in his common self, distant, serious and unreadable was respectful and educated and just in few occasions he turned cold or indifferent towards me or others. His health was a lot better but I knew he needed observance and care for lifetime and I was his personal nurse besides being his wife. We didn't discuss till now over anything and I wasn't sure if it was good or bad. I got used to be in silence with him and give him his space and time and in spite of my bittersweet happiness and eternal sorrow the days we spent there were enjoyable in their own way. Sometimes we only lay on bed reading some things. It was a weird relationship what we had and I knew it perfectly. We weren't exactly friends and we weren't exactly lovers. We were more like teammates and I was resigned to it. Sharing the bed to sleep was something I got used to after being ashamed of it and soon it became normal between us. He never again tried to seduce me and I didn't try it either. I focused very hard to avoid the feelings he stirred within me and reminded me of our times together when for circumstances we were very close or we touched. I didn't know how things were going to be when we returned to Konoha but somehow I felt that they were going to hurt me more than the suffering I had gained here in my honeymoon. I knew he wasn't exactly guilty for it and I couldn't blame it on him totally and that's why I endured it and tried to find solace and peace of mind on my behalf. I had known things were going to be like this and I had accepted it when I had said _I do _that unforgettable and precious day when I had become Mrs. Uchiha.

I had said _I do _and I was going to say it every day of my life.

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_Sakura POV_

When we returned to Konoha we decided to live still in my small department. Sasuke didn't show interest in going back to his old house; neither his room nor the old territory of the Uchiha Clan and it worried and pained me the silent and hidden suffering in the deep of his black eyes whenever it was mentioned. Those territories outside the village belonged solely to Miyu and him and no one in Konoha could lay a finger on them. I didn't mind either staying at least for a while in my department and it didn't surprise me that Kakashi-sensei had brought all Sasuke's stuff from his room to my own room in it. The other room belonged to Miyu. At least I heard from Tsunade-sama that the Council had stopped their ways to put their hands on Sasuke and they had accepted it and were quite peaceful about it. I wondered if they had really given up. Like I expected all my friends were worried for me after spending a week all by myself with Sasuke and it wasn't because they feared he could hurt me in any way. They just were concerned knowing that it was going to be difficult for me. I calmed them immediately and I didn't say a word about our passionate first night there, not even to my mother. I didn't see the point in doing it. Soon I restarted my life as medic nin in the hospital and under our Hokage's orders just like Sasuke returned to be the same shinobi he was before his health was affected by the Council and their lies. Miyu was in eternal innocent happiness now that Sasuke was living with us and her happiness was contagious to me although our life as a married couple wasn't exactly like that. When we were alone we were like strangers being courteous with the other to have an easy and calm life. I noticed how Sasuke tried secretly to avoid staying with me more than the necessary and it really hurt me even when I understood why he did it and I knew I had asked for it. I thought it was going to be easier to spend our time together but I supposed I had been wrong all along in that too. Being together was more hurtful and hard and the distance between us being so close was more painful than simply being away.

Anyway we gladly had peace after days and nights of worrying due to the Council's scheme and I was grateful for that. With our return and new marriage came a lot of work than ever. In few days Sasuke and I didn't see the other often and we barely crossed paths even in the quietness of our little home. Thank God I counted with mom to lend me a hand with Miyu and our home but still it was pretty sad especially for our little girl to be so busy following orders of missions and paperwork that most of the time came directly from the Council's orders than the honey eyed Hokage. My friends were quite busy too and I hadn't seen them a lot to really have a nice talk. It was like if suddenly we had been separated by casualty. I hadn't really put attention to it till one day when I was in the hospital with Ino. We both were talking about some medical jutsu when my former sensei appeared saying hi as always.

"Hey Sakura, Ino."

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"Hello Kakashi-sensei. I thought you were out in a mission too."

I said calmly and with a true smile plastered on my face. Ino smiled too as Kakashi-sensei approached us in a way that suggested he didn't want to be noticed or heard. That confused us and we exchanged a concerned glance before I asked him what was wrong.

"How are Sasuke and you doing?"

He asked as a response and I frowned still confused, worried and with a bad feeling hovering inside my chest. He was talking in low voice close to us. Ino stared at him analyzing his actions.

"We're fine. Sasuke had been busy like everyone. Everything is fine, calm and fine." It had been a surprise and a little shock to all my friends to hear me calling him just by his name and without the suffix. But they had gotten used to quickly understanding that it was normal now that I was his wife and not that stupid fangirl madly in love with him. "It's true that we hadn't spent a lot of time together since we came back but the things are good for us. Why do you ask?"

Well, it wasn't entirely a lie. Things were calm and fine in the distant life we both shared and again I felt my heart crushed by the bittersweet truth. Anyway I shook away that feeling because I was more worried by Kakashi-sensei's sudden question.

"Don't you think that it is a little weird that you are as busy with work as everyone else? But nobody is as busy as Sasuke right now. We all, the persons close to you are in fact very busy. We hadn't really had time to spend with you in your first weeks as newlyweds. What a strange casualty, right?"

The way he said it concerned me and Ino. I watched him serious and thoughtful wondering about what I had already noticed but I hadn't taken it as important to ponder deeply about it. Lately I was a little distracted due to my new life as Mrs. Uchiha and all the wrongs I hadn't considered being it. I tried to focus in work to free my heart from my inner emotional state.

"You don't think it is a casualty."

Ino stated seriously as me and Kakashi-sensei nodded meditative. I furrowed my brow feeling afflicted by the truth hiding behind his supposition.

"Tsunade-sama doesn't either." Listening to the name of our wise Hokage I knew that definitely something was very strange in all this and I worried even more. "I had talked with her about it and we think the Council had still their doubts about the reality of your marriage with Sasuke."

"What?"

I asked surprised, shocked and concerned with disbelief. Ino's frown shadowed her pretty features. Kakashi-sensei nodded and sighed thoughtfully.

"We fear that this sudden state of being busy and separate, not only with you and Sasuke, but with all the ones who are your friends and support you it's some form of them to still bother you and Sasuke. We're only guessing of course, but for us it is pretty weird that suddenly the Council trusts so much in Sasuke to give him a lot of missions that are very important and dangerous. Maybe missions for which he isn't still quite prepared. We're worried if it is true. We don't know if they really know that your marriage it was a lie to protect him and save him from their grip and we don't know what are they pretending with this new strategy."

"Why Sasuke follows their game? He could say no to some missions!"

"Because he's Sasuke after all." I answered to Ino's preoccupied words with a sad and proud little smile. I sighed deeply. _Yeah, that's my proud husband_. "He won't ever let them know he cannot perform missions they directly ask of him."

"Sakura is right, like I expected being his wife." Kakashi-sensei said making me blush and felt inwardly melancholic. "But Tsunade-sama is worried about one thing and we don't know if it is the reason behind their new plan." Kakashi-sensei paused briefly looking at me calmly and concerned. I waited for him to go on. "She's worried that this load of work could sicken Sasuke in some way. It's true that he's doing great till now but he's not in total health and we all know it. The Hokage worries that if he keeps working so much he could get sick once more and then the new treatment Shizune and Tsunade-sama are providing to him would be useless."

My heart pained incredibly at the supposition Tsunade-sama had. It was logical and natural to have it. Sasuke wasn't completely healthy and he was trying so hard. I wondered if it wasn't only his pride to stand against the Council the only thing that kept him doing his job. What if he did it too because he didn't want to stay with me more than the necessary? My face shadowed and grimaced fearing for him and trying to remember if I had noticed something he could have been hiding about his condition. Till now he was fine and the only thing I had noticed was his paleness. Was that a sign of common tiredness or it was a sign of something worse? The anguish and worry filled me completely and made my heart to leap in suffering. I had thought like my friends that the Council at least had given up for a while but it seemed they weren't ready to do it. What they were really planning? Why they had accepted my marriage so easily? Why they had paid and given us that honeymoon? What they really wanted? Sasuke, of course. They had always wanted him. But why? He wasn't a traitor or an enemy anymore! He didn't have intentions of going against them or Konoha. I clutched my hands thoughtful and dismayed.

"Don't worry, Sakura. We'll have an eye on Sasuke. You just need to have an eye on him in home secretly. You know him, probably if he knows it he'll be very upset for our watching over him even if it is for his own sake."

Kakashi-sensei rested a hand on my shoulder reassuringly and Ino smiled to me kindly. I saw the real concern in their eyes for us and I nodded grateful.

"Kakashi-sensei is right. Everything is going to be fine, Sakura. Don't let them win over you right now."

She was right. I couldn't be afflicted so much by their antics. They couldn't know how worried I was for Sasuke in fact. I needed to be normal and strong and smart if I wanted to be ahead of their malicious way of thinking towards Sasuke. I nodded trying to calm myself and breathing deeply focusing immediately.

"We thought it was best to tell you our suppositions and worries even if I worried you more." Kakashi-sensei said guilty and sheepishly and I nodded smiling. "Be prepared. The fact that all of us, your friends, are playing their game too doesn't mean that we're not with you even being a little away."

"I know. Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. I'll be on watch."

"Good."

Then he said goodbye to us and went to prepare for another mission he had to do. Ino wrapped an arm around my shoulders with a warm smile. She wasn't looking concerned anymore and I knew she was trying to return to normalcy just as I wanted and I was trying to do.

"When does Sasuke return?"

"He'll come home tonight."

"That's perfect! Sai will be here by sunset. What if tomorrow we go to your house and we have dinner together? It will be the first time we spend time together, Sakura. You don't need to cook if you don't want to or can't due to work. I'll bring the dinner. And I'll see if some of the others are free to come too."

In fact the idea wasn't bad. I couldn't deny that it excited me even when I had a husband who didn't like a lot that kind of stuff. I nodded smiling sincerely glad for Ino's idea and we both returned to our duties. Soon I was so wrapped in my work and busy that I couldn't focus in the chat we had had with Kakashi-sensei but I couldn't forget that hunch breathing inside my chest talking me about my deep and intense worry for Sasuke. The only thing that calmed me a little was to know that we had a lot of support in the people who cared about us surrounding our life like Kakashi-sensei and Tsunade-sama. That was really a relief and a gift. Anyway that hunch increased hours later when I was waiting Sasuke to come home like I had said to Ino earlier. It was almost midnight and Miyu was sleeping since hours ago peacefully and ignorant about the worries of our little family and world. I decided to drink some tea as I waited for Sasuke to come and I was sitting at the table in silence and thoughtfulness. I was tired, that was true, lately I was working a lot like Tsunade-sama, Shizune and Ino after the Council had decided to strengthen up the medical issues in Konoha and it was a little weird they were now so interested in the medicine as our wise Hokage had been always. The words of Kakashi-sensei rounded my head worriedly and I knew that somehow he was right. They had given a lot of work and missions to Sasuke and even to me and the people who I considered my friends. There had been some days since I hadn't been more than five minutes with Sasuke all by myself without talking and worrying about work. I sighed deeply concerned clutching the mug with smoking tea not really believing that since days ago I was married with Sasuke Uchiha and we had had a beautiful wedding and unexpected honeymoon. Since days and nights ago we shared this department and we were in a twisted way a family together with our little girl. If I turned back to glance at the beginning of our story together since I had gotten pregnant of Miyu I really knew that I couldn't ever expect to be like this right now, not even in my wildest dreams. I smiled sadly resting my head on the flat area wondering if our life was going to be like this forever. I wasn't completely happy and I didn't complain because I had known how things were going to be since the beginning and I wasn't totally unhappy either. I guessed that was why I always felt that bittersweet feeling inside me. I was honest when I told to myself that I wouldn't change it not even being like this.

I closed my eyes without helping myself to go back to that first night of our honeymoon. Why I couldn't shake it from my mind? Why I tortured myself with it? Why I didn't say _no _and I didn't stop? I sighed resigned and with my face red as a tomato when I heard footsteps and I looked up immediately startled and surprised. I had been so absent that I didn't hear him opening the door and entering the kitchen before. Now Sasuke was there staring at me serious and calm and I smacked myself for my distraction. I needed to get rid off it. My heart flipped in secret joy watching him there and I restrained my desire to embrace him and kiss him like I always felt when he came back.

"You're home." I said smiling gladly and standing up. "Do you want something to eat?" I knew it was late but I always asked him because I didn't know if he had already eaten something. He shook his head and I nodded staring at him with medic nin eyes. I remembered once more our former sensei's suppositions and I was concerned when I noticed his paleness and the soft black rings around his tired and alert eyes. He was exhausted and it was obvious even if I wasn't precisely a medic nin. "Then, I guess you want to sleep."

He nodded and then he turned around going silently to our room. I followed him and noticed that he was looking for clothes and a towel. So he wanted to take a shower first. I had discovered that he enjoyed one after being so busy and feeling exhausted and I was glad that at least I was catching some personal likes and routines of him. Wasn't that something that happens between married people? While I helped him choosing clean clothes and a soft towel I wondered if he had noticed some things about me. Did he know what my favorite tea was? I sighed chuckling melancholic after he entered the bathroom and soon I heard the water running. I went to bed and I closed my eyes feeling myself tired. Something good about him being mute was that at least there weren't awkward moments between us like when we came to sleep because we didn't have anything to say to the other. But without a doubt I had changed that awkwardness for his total recovery and the sound of his voice even if it was only to tell me that he _wanted to sleep and not talk_. Surprisingly my heavy eyes watered and I blinked away the unshed tears annoyed by my soon desire to cry. I had known it since the beginning, right? So I didn't have the right to complain and cry about it every five damn minutes. I shook my head inwardly and soon I let the tiredness to take over me feeling comfortable enough in the bed we shared with so much invisible distance.

The next day I woke up as always and I did my daily routine. I always woke up earlier to prepare breakfast and do some chores and be ready when I went to wake up Sasuke and Miyu. My mother came a little later to take care of Miyu till I returned home and I was very grateful to her now that her time as a babysitter was longer than before thanks to the Council's obsession over my little family. I wondered what father thought about it. I hadn't seen him or spoken with him since that day when he had come to tell me what he thought about my marriage with Sasuke. I shook my head getting rid off the memory because it always made me sad when I thought about it and I had enough to worry anyway. I went to wake up Sasuke and then I went to Miyu's room to prepare her for the new day and she was always happy and serene. When I was brushing her wet hair after dressing her I noticed that Sasuke hadn't come out of our room. Was he still taking a shower? I had gone to wake him up a long moment ago. I didn't want to scare or worry Miyu so I left her watching the TV for a moment in her room and I came in my room concerned and looking around for Sasuke. I was immediately worried when I saw him still on bed. I approached him frowning in agony and seriousness.

"Are you ok, Sasuke?" I asked him leaning over as he was lying on his left side slightly shaking and panting with half opened clouded eyes. I touched his forehead and preoccupied I noticed he had a fever. I knew that a beginning of one of his migraines was coming and I stroked his hair softly speaking with soft voice and a kind smile hiding my intense worry and anguish. This was the first time he had one since some time ago and I didn't like it coming back. That only could mean that his sickness was getting stronger once more. I didn't want to let it be obvious to him. "Don't worry; I'll call Tsunade-sama to tell her that you cannot go today to the quarters, alright? You need to rest and stay in home to recover." I sought inside one of the cabinets of our closet his medicine and I helped him to take it knowing that if he hadn't fought back my decision of stopping him to do his duties as shinobi it was because he in fact was feeling really bad. That only worried me more but I controlled myself and I covered him with the blanket. "I'll take care of everything, ok?"

I left him resting in the darkness and quietness of the room and I called Tsunade-sama to inform her. I was more prepared to deal with Sasuke's condition now that before because I had read and followed his medical file and I assured her that I could take care of him but I wasn't going to be able to go to work either. She understood me and asked me to call her or Shizune if something worse happened and then I called my mother to tell her to not come today. She was honestly worried for Sasuke's condition and that touched me. I promised to call her if something else happened and to call her when the things had gone back to normal. After that I took advantage of my unexpected staying in home to do some chores in advance and to be with my little girl like I hadn't been able since days ago. I watched over Sasuke every free time I had and I stayed inside the rest of the day in the enjoyable space of home and company of the two beings I loved more than anything in the world. After lunch I received the call of Kakashi-sensei asking me how Sasuke was doing after knowing about from our Hokage and the call of Naruto too. He was pretty concerned and promised to come later to stay a while with us. In the afternoon surprisingly I took a nap like Miyu did almost all days and I lay beside Sasuke sleeping in serenity and happiness for a long while. When I woke up I noticed gladly and relieved that he looked in fact better and his migraine was almost gone as his fever. I forced him to remain in bed and to eat something accompanied by Miyu as I read some paperwork from work. It wasn't till the sunset came when I received a call from Ino that I remembered our plans for today at dinner. She didn't know about Sasuke's migraine and I told her to justify the change of plans. I didn't think it was good for him to have a little party with friends when he was still resting and recovering. Ino thought otherwise and said that company was going to make him good. I wanted the company too. I was so distracted by the conversation I had had with Kakashi-sensei about the Council's weird actions and the worry Tsunade-sama had hid behind her cheerful voice when I had told her about his sudden migraine that I really wanted some joy and ignorance. But Sasuke came first so I decided to ask him directly about it. Miyu clapped happily knowing of her godmother coming and Sasuke nodded serious and calm and less pale. I smiled grateful at Miyu for convincing him with her innocence and at him for accepting it so nicely in his own way. Ino squealed cheerfully promising me to bring dinner and then she hung up. I couldn't help to feel happy the rest of the day.

I prepared everything for their coming and before they came I checked once more Sasuke's medical file while he was on the living room watching TV with Miyu. Even when I was happy for the reunion I didn't forget about his sudden migraine and I wondered worried about what could happen next. Were all the other symptoms going to worsen again? His movements and walking were slower than the ones of common people but he could defend himself pretty well in that specific area. I do know that. Before blushing once more I noticed that at least the treatment for his migraines and fever had functioned very well. Today had been one short and easy. He hadn't hallucinated thank heavens since his last time in the hospital after the Amaterasu's incident and it was the same with his seizures. He hadn't had one like the smaller ones when he focused and unfocused his look unconsciously or when he was completely absent for just seconds and he didn't see or hear anything. That was the symptom I dreaded more because I knew that it was dangerous enough to let him in a coma or kill him. Just thinking it made me shudder in panic, anguish and distress. He wasn't completely able to show pain or emotions still but he had gotten better at it and sometimes he could do it. The major part of the time his look wasn't lost. He still could easily get disoriented if he didn't pay attention or had help or used one of the trainings Kakashi-sensei had taught him. He didn't try to write again ever and it took a long time for him to read. Every time I watched the scars in his arms and the seal in his forehead it hurt me deeply and it made me wonder what was going on inside his mind. I wanted so bad to understand him, to help him, to heal him. But he was unreachable as always and worse now with his strange illness. He still needed to be reminded of the things he had to do but he had gotten better at it too, especially when it was concerning missions like if he wanted to prove to anyone he was perfectly capable of performing them. He hadn't had one of his catatonic episodes all the days and nights I had been living under the same roof as him and I was grateful for that because it meant that at least he was controlled in that symptom. I didn't want to see him like Naruto and some of our friends had seen him previously when he was like a dead lying on bed with empty look. I was sure that was going to make me cry and my heart was going to be crushed without a doubt.

Soon I had to forget about that when Ino and Sai arrived accompanied by Yamato-sensei with the dinner. I felt very happy for seeing him after a long time, he had been doing missions outside Konoha since two and a half years ago and he had returned to stay. Minutes later Chouji, Naruto, Hinata, Neji and Tenten came. We decided to eat in the living room where we were going to be more comfortable. Miyu spent all the while in Naruto's arms giggling at his jokes and mere cheerful presence. The dinner was delicious and I couldn't help to be sincerely glad for the moment. We talked about the absent ones and I knew then that Shikamaru had gone to Suna to see Temari and the rest were busy with missions outside Konoha. Even when I was putting attention to my friends and I enjoyed the chat and dinner and talked giving my opinion and laughed when they said something funny, I didn't forget to keep an eye on Sasuke and I noticed that Yamato-sensei was doing the same as me furtively. But Sasuke was Sasuke all the while and he behaved and I could assure that he enjoyed the reunion in his own way. I had asked Ino when she had arrived with Sai and Yamato-sensei to not stay a lot because even when I wished with all my heart the good company all night long I knew that I had to take care of Sasuke even if I was a little paranoid. She understood perfectly. That was why after just three delightful hours of chatting, laughing and sharing, and after we discussed the possibilities of Shikamaru marrying Temari to avoid their romance at distance (we all thought that it was unlikely to happen when we knew that for our genius friend marriage meant trouble and he probably was going to excuse himself the longer he could) and the weird petition of dancing Hanabi had asked to Gaara (we couldn't make Hinata to say something about it but her nervousness spoke by itself), Chouji, Hinata, Naruto, Neji and Tenten were gone after saying goodnight. They all were pretty relieved and glad to see Sasuke doing fine but I couldn't shake off the bad feeling I had living inside my worried heart whenever I watched him and I noticed that he wasn't in the same condition he was after he had been released from the hospital and during the wedding and honeymoon. The last ones to leave were Ino, Sai and Yamato-sensei who stayed to help me to pick up all the mess. While Sasuke took Miyu to sleep I was saying thanks and goodbye to the three of them at the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow then at work."

"Sure." I said smiling sincerely cheerful to my blond friend. "You were right, we needed this and it was wonderful, thank you."

"Oh come on, Sakura! You don't have to say it." Ino dismissed me with a quick graceful movement of her hands. "We all needed it with all the extra hours we're working!"

I nodded not wanting to think again why that was happening. Instead I smiled and I waved a goodbye when she left first hanging from Sai's arm. Yamato-sensei remained at the door watching them walking away as me with calm face.

"I'm very sorry for losing your wedding. I had heard it was a magnificent event."

"Yeah… don't worry Yamato-sensei; I'm very happy that you had returned finally to stay in Konoha."

We talked after the silhouettes of Ino and Sai had turned on the corner seconds ago. I smiled at one of my former teammates while he nodded and I was pretty sure he was thinking deeply in something as he was in front of me.

"Is something wrong?"

I asked a little worried and intrigued and he shook his head with calm.

"I was just wondering how old Miyu is." I couldn't help the surprise I felt when I knew that was his inner thought. "I'm pretty sure she will be as talented as his father is."

"She's 2 years old. Well, in fact she's almost 2 years and 3 months old. Is something wrong?"

I questioned him again when I noticed the thoughtful expression written all over his face. Yamato-sensei just shook his head again and put on a soft and calm smile as I wrinkled my forehead in curiosity and preoccupation.

"I'm just thinking ahead of time. That's all. Well, it's late so I'm going. Thank you for everything, Sakura."

I nodded this time in silence and still concerned by his sudden and weird way of questioning till he was gone. Later as I was lying on bed I wondered if I wasn't being paranoid and looking for things where there weren't anything. Was I so afraid for my little family that I was seeing worries and fears whenever I look? Probably Yamato-sensei was thinking in Miyu as the heiress of the Uchiha Clan and the Sharingan and how she was going to be as famous as her father when he was young. The most of fame Sasuke had gained was unfortunately thanks to the tragedy that had happened to his family that fateful night. It was true that the Uchiha Clan meant always talent and recognition but what had happened then had increased in a terrible way their story besides the natural label of being part of the Uchiha Clan. My little girl was now part of it too and of course, the story between her father and me wasn't very cherry either and probably it was going to add more fame to her name. I sighed knowing inwardly that I was over thinking too much and that I was probably paranoid. I needed to calm down a little. I wasn't alone and I wasn't going to let anyone to harm my little family and I was sure that if something was going on Yamato-sensei had told me just like Kakashi-sensei and Tsunade-sama told me sooner or later when they were worried about something concerning my little family.

Anyway some other things came along that were most important and urgent than my suspicion for an innocent question one of my former teammates had asked. With the passing of days and then weeks that flew away thanks to our jobs the situation with Sasuke and the incessant work the Council gave him worsened his condition as the Hokage had predicted and Kakashi-sensei had told me that day. Besides, I was very busy too when Ino was sent on a mission with Shizune and I was left in charge of more responsibilities I usually had. In a couple of days after that happy little reunion with some of our friends I didn't see them again more than maybe ten or fifteen minutes when we crossed paths. There was some sort of civil war in some villages belonging to the Raikage and the Land of Fire was called to lend a hand. That didn't help either to calm down the things here in Konoha and I was hoping like all of us to not see another uprising war, so that was why everyone worked so hard to avoid that terrible outcome. Before the fourth month of our marriage ended I watched preoccupied and anguished how my husband grew paler and thinner and how worn out he looked in fact and the most surprising thing was to see the fire of his determination in the depth of his black eyes and how alive they were whenever a mission was ordered. Of course, I knew I had to be ready to see that intense will of the ninja my proud Sasuke always wanted to be. Even when I noticed how the burden of the incessant and important work affected him I was amazed and I admired how alive he was looking in spite of his weakened state of health and I was grateful that he followed my advices of taking care of himself but that didn't change the fact that he was overworking and getting sick. In those days before the fourth month of our marriage ended Sasuke had a couple of migraines and fevers once more and then it came the day I had dreaded since I had become Mrs. Uchiha: the day when he had one of his catatonic episodes. That day after staying more hours at the hospital working I had remained in home too thanks to Shizune's intervention. All days and nights I had that horrible and terrible hunch inside my chest hurting it and it was related to the condition of Sasuke and the worry for him and our home and family. I didn't share it with him and I behaved normally and like a perfect nurse and medic nin hoping and believing that sooner or later the situation was going to end and everything was going to be peaceful again or at least at the common rhythm of our life in Konoha. The rumors about the things going better in those far away villages increased and that relieved me too. It amazed me how being busy I had already almost lived so long under the same roof with Sasuke Uchiha. My eternal Sasuke-kun.

"How the things had been between you two?"

Mother asked while she filled my plate for the third time with a delicious stew she had brought from home.

"Good." I said calm and with a soft smile. I wasn't lying exactly. Besides the worrying I felt all days and nights concerning Sasuke's health, the situation between us was the same since we had married and I had predicted it very well. We lived under the same roof and in the same space and we shared some of our time together when we were in the security of our home. We were more like roommates than lovers and we hadn't returned to the showering of affection we had showed in our wedding. Miyu didn't seem to take it wrong and probably she thought that Sasuke's serious behavior was like that in all matters even being married to me. I was happy that she hadn't seemed to really understand how things were between her father and me and she was satisfied noticing that I was attentive at him and he was courteous with me and we never fought. I knew that it was bittersweet as the beginning and that some part, a big part, of my heart was broken every time I realized once more that nothing was going to change and we were together because of the benefits and that didn't erase the fact that we were some sort of strangers, two people who had known each other since kids and had grown apart till they couldn't be really friends like we never were in fact. We had been teammates but the intimacy of the friendship really had never grown between Sasuke and me. "Everything is fine."

I answered eating calmly from my plate as she sat down in front of me with a mug of steaming coffee in her hands. She seemed worried and serious.

"Are you sure, sweetie?"

"Yes. I'm just worried for him." I stopped eating and I sighed sadly blinking away the tears dwelling in my eyes. "He hadn't been healthy these last days since he's working so hard. Look what happened today."

Today. Today was the first time I had seen him in one of his catatonic episodes and it had broken my heart to watch him as a lifeless doll lying on bed with empty and lost onyx eyes. I had woken up to see him like that and it had only worsened my shaken mood and worried state. Mother insisted in coming when she knew that I was going to stay again in home to take care of Miyu and Sasuke and she had seen it as a chance to spend time together with me. Mother had come immediately and I couldn't thank her enough for her disposition and time.

"Don't worry, Sakura. You'll see that he'll recover as soon as this madness of that problem on the villages of the Land of Thunder ends." She put the mug of coffee on the table and clutched softly one of my hands. I smiled at her sincere and calm expression. "I know you're telling me that everything is fine between the both of you concerning your relationship as newlyweds and I trust in you if you're saying that everything is fine. I can see that in Miyu. I had never seen her so happy before." I smiled wider knowing that she was right. Mother's face softened but she furrowed her brow looking at me worried. "I'm more concerned about how you're dealing with everything. The work, the house, your daughter, your husband. You don't look very well either, honey."

"Don't worry mom. I'll recover too as soon as everything relaxes again, like you said."

"I hope so. You have been overworking yourself too! You'll go crazy! If it wasn't because you're not thinner and in fact you look pretty well in spite of the circumstances I would be more worried, Sakura."

I laughed knowing she was right. It was thanks to her that we hadn't starved to death. She took care of filling the kitchen with edible food and drinks. I couldn't thank her enough for all the help and care she provided to us. But I knew she was right and that I could cross my own limits so I needed to take care of myself if I didn't want to get sick either.

"And you only have one child."

"Well, someday probably I'll have others."

Mother looked at me astonished and I chuckled at her expression with a joking expression.

"Sasuke and I talked about it." I started calmly not wanting to tell her that we had had that night of passion together. It didn't matter and I didn't see the point in worrying her for it. "We both want more children."

"So… that means that you two… are you pregnant, Sakura?"

She asked serious, concerned and shocked and I laughed again trying to calm her. I knew I had to lie a little about the whole issue but I was saying the truth at the end.

"Nothing had happened to _provoke _that specific consequence. And _if _it had happened, I learned my lesson, mom. I _would have _taken precautions to not be pregnant once more. I'm more conscious than that. And it would have been something I needed to discuss with Sasuke as my husband first."

Yes. I had lied saying that we hadn't had sex but I had told the truth when I had told her that I had taken precautions. I wasn't going to bring another child to the world without really thinking in it this time. It wasn't that I regretted how I had gotten Miyu in my life but I knew that it hadn't been in the best way for her own good. And now I was married and I couldn't take decisions without having Sasuke's opinion and support and we weren't in our best to have another child. This wasn't the best moment and we had agreed in that and I had known it that first night of our honeymoon when we had had sex and I had taken precautions to avoid that particular situation. Mother didn't say anything else because I knew that she felt it wasn't her place to meddle in my life as Sasuke's wife if we wanted or not more children. Even if I had asked her opinion I was sure that she would have told me that it wasn't her place to tell me what to do. Probably the way the things were and were going to be the rest of our life as a married couple wasn't the best to have more children and I was aware of that. My marriage with Sasuke was a lie not minding if we were ok and we didn't fight at least till now and I wondered now serious, sad and concerned if it was good to be thinking in one future day to have more children. Wasn't enough for Miyu to be the only victim till now of my stupidities and the cruel fate? Did I want more victims, innocent victims, to suffer in this theatre of pretending? Was I overreacting and the way the things were between Sasuke and me weren't as bad as I thought to provide a good, secure and healthy environment to children? I kept on thinking in it when mother had finally gone by noon and I was feeling better and less tired. Thanks to her I hadn't have to do the house chores and I could sleep more time and I didn't have to cook either for the whole day. I knew she was right in worrying for me and I knew that she thought that probably it was better if we kept Miyu as an only child. Sasuke's weird illness was in the middle of this too and I knew I had a husband that needed special care and attention. That was another factor to take care of. But surely she was going to be thrilled if I gave her more grandchildren and I couldn't help to smile happily when I imagined me surrounded by three or four kids. I wanted more children and I couldn't deny that to myself. Besides, Sasuke wanted it too.

I spent the rest of the day being with Miyu and trying to keep her away from Sasuke right now. I didn't want for her to see him like that. When she took her nap at afternoon I went to check on Sasuke and I couldn't help my tears to fall as I kneeled in front of him beside our bed and I watched him deeply worried and afflicted lying on his left side. Should I say something to him when he recovered from this about his persistent trying to prove himself to everyone? Would he listen to me? Would he be angry with me for meddling in his life as a shinobi? Did I have to stand up for my little family's sake? And the worst of all: Could this have happened even if he hadn't been working so hard and just because it was the natural course of his rare sickness? I sighed thoughtful drying my tears with the back of my hands as I got up after caressing his face softly and I rested in silence on my bed's side close to his still and distant body and spirit. I didn't dare to embrace him knowing that even in his state and not minding his sickness nothing changed between us and I had to respect the way things were between us. I prayed for the next day to come better for all of us as I closed my eyes for a moment letting an easy and superficial dream to take me away from my worries and fears at least for some minutes while I rested my forehead against his back. But the next day wasn't exactly as I had prayed for. It was true that by the night of the day before when he had had his catatonic episode he had recovered from it and he had looked pretty well in fact but the next day I noticed anguished and concerned while he was finishing dressing how he remained absent for some minutes and he wasn't paying attention to me or didn't see me in front of him. I knew what it meant and my heart ached when I remembered the big demonstration of that symptom, the one I dreaded most, even more than the hallucinations. I didn't dare to say anything to him till we were at the table having breakfast with Miyu and we were ready to return to our daily duties at work and I noticed his look and attention coming and going in an unconscious way for him. I frowned intensely worried and I opened my mouth to say something finally. I didn't care if he got angry with me. I just cared about his well being.

"You shouldn't go to work today. I'll call Tsunade-sama to tell her to give you another day."

I said with a little smile not wanting to sound bossy or angered. Sasuke just stared at me with narrowed icy black eyes and I knew he didn't agree and that he was bothered by my suggestion. Miyu looked at the both of us alternatively with curious and preoccupied childish expression.

"Trust me, please Sasuke. Just another day. I'm asking you as your medic nin and not your wife. You need to stop working so much and so hard. It's affecting you… you don't need to prove anything. You're an excellent shinobi. But you need to take care of yourself more. Please…"

I simply went on with glistening jade eyes fixed on his and serious face but Sasuke just glared at me and got up telling me with his movement and gesture that he didn't care about my opinion even if it was a medical one. I didn't dare to say anything else while he leaned over to Miyu to kiss her goodbye in her forehead as always and I averted my eyes blinking away my unshed worried tears. I didn't want my little girl to notice that this was our first disagreement as a married couple and it had happened in front of her. It had been the first one even if we hadn't yelled or fought in front of her, something we both had promised to never do. The pressure of my unyielding anguish and concern just increased inside my chest. I knew he wasn't going to listen to me because he wasn't going to let this to stain his status as a perfect and great ninja from Konoha and less if the Council was involved. He was proud as he always was. Suddenly I felt him near me once more without noticing him coming my way (was I mussing once more?) and I looked up to find him standing at my side staring at me with calm and serious expression. He didn't seem upset with me anymore. Surprisingly he kissed my cheek softly and courteously as I remained still, concerned and amazed sitting on my chair watching him with wide opened eyes before he turned around and leave without watching back once.

_Sasuke…_

I spent the whole day worried for him but I felt relieved when I didn't receive a bad notice concerning him and my unwavering worry for his condition but unfortunately that half peace didn't last when at the midnight of the next day he started to have hallucinations again like when he was in the hospital after the Amaterasu's situation but less intense and dangerous than then. I stayed awake with him all the rest of the night inside our room the most of the time embracing him and holding his hand when he wasn't too altered to reject me. I wasn't acting exactly as his wife but more as his medic nin and personal nurse when I had him in my arms and I was aware that it was the best way to act. I tried to soothe him with words but I knew that physical contact was more effective and I realized that he was trying his best to control his hallucinations and maintain the order of his mental state in spite of how strong they were. When the next day finally arrived he had fallen asleep at last and I sighed relieved and tired watching him sleeping with a saddened smile. The treatment had worked like always and I was grateful for that but I couldn't help to wonder how long its effect was going to last in Sasuke's life. I had to call Tsunade-sama to excuse ourselves once more from our respective works and she decided to do a new complete checkup to Sasuke in secret, of course, later at the hospital. I agreed sleepy and exhausted and deeply worried for my husband. A moment later mother arrived with Ino who had the day free and the both offered to take care of everything while I rested and slept in Miyu's room. Sasuke was sleeping in our room and our daughter was with mother at the living room. I yawned sleepy, worried and afflicted as I watched Ino preparing the bed for me in my little girl's room. I couldn't be more grateful to her and to mother for all the help, support and care the both gave us when we needed it.

"Don't worry for anything. I'm pretty sure that everything will be good when Tsunade-sama do the checkup to Sasuke. Probably she will have to adjust the treatment or something like that. But I think personally that Sasuke needs to lower his rhythm of work."

She said the last more serious and I knew she was right. I remembered that I had tried to stop it before and I lowered my emerald tired eyes thoughtful and burning in worry and love. I couldn't convince him then and I wasn't confident in achieving it ever. Sasuke could be very stubborn when he had decided something.

"My, your mother is right. You'll lose your mind with your worrying, Sakura!" My blond friend said sincerely worried and serious and I looked up smiling softly to her. I didn't want to worry anyone and less for me when Sasuke was more important. "Don't give me that crap "I'm fine"! You look so drained girl!"

"I know, mom already told me."

I said still smiling calmly. Ino just sighed glaring at me meditative and concerned.

"You don't need to work so much either!"

"I work what we need to work, remember?"

"Yes, I _do _know." She said with her hands on her hips still glaring at me preoccupied and serious. I chuckled going to the bed and sitting there. I knew she was right, of course, like mother had been. Probably I was working too much and harder and worrying to death every damn time Sasuke was out of my sight. I supposed that with all this anguish and desperation I felt for Sasuke my soul and body had resented it and I was more stressed than before. I was eating well, pretty well in fact. I tried to take care of myself but I was so worked up with Sasuke's situation and my little family's protection that I was stressing myself out of my own limits and I was paying the prize. "But I know you're doing your own research about Sasuke's illness."

I was surprised by her words. I stared amazed at her while my blue eyed friend smirked satisfied.

"Do you think that I wouldn't know?"

"I'm just started with that a few days ago… I do it in my free time."

I said defending myself. It was true. Since I had been noticing the way Sasuke was being affected by his weird illness I had panicked and I felt frustrated and desperate to do something else. It wasn't a big deal, unfortunately.

"Free time? You don't have free time!" Ino yelled exasperated and funnily and I chuckled knowing she was right. "Thank heavens the things outside Konoha are calming and going better, soon you'll have free time but till then, don't stress yourself so much, Sakura! It's enough with the concern you carry inside you every damn single day and night and it's understandable. You worry for your husband. You need to take care of yourself more if you want to support him and help him."

She scolded me pointing at me solemnly and I laughed knowing she was right once more. I sighed tiredly.

"Yeah, you're right. And besides, my researching hadn't gained anything good."

Ino nodded after seeing me saddening by my sincere words and preoccupied.

"We all will try to help Sasuke, alright?" She said with a big and warm smile. "You'll see that we'll find something. Right now you just need to worry about sleeping and resting, ok?"

"Ok."

We both laughed and as soon as I buried my head on the pillow I was soon sleeping but that didn't mean that I could forget for a moment my worry for Sasuke's well being. It was now like the love I felt for him that breathes and lives with me every damn second of my life and that I cannot erase, forget or change for anything in the world by will or unconsciously. Now that worry was growing to become as strong and existent in me as this love that only belongs to him, eternally and hopelessly only to him.

I couldn't follow completely all the advices my mother and Ino gave me with what happened days later. Sasuke's hallucinations reappeared from time to time and every time one clouded his mind the next one was worse. I spent the time worrying to death while I was working and taking care of Miyu and Sasuke and when I was in home and stressing myself wondering what I could do to stop Sasuke to accept every cursing mission the Council demanded of him. When they heard that Sasuke had gotten better they immediately called for him and _asked _if he could perform certain order as they did with the other shinobi and kunoichi belonging to Konoha counting our friends. The wise Hokage was working by their side and she did her effort trying to maintain Sasuke away but this one didn't let her meddle in his personal silent, cold and courteous war against the Council. I thanked Tsunade-sama for her goodhearted intention but I knew that she wasn't going to achieve what I had tried to days before till Sasuke couldn't really decide for himself, something we both dreaded and made my soul to cry in agony and concern. Sasuke's hallucinations intensified so much that provoked his former behavior of trying to run away from Konoha like months ago and thanks to the surveillance our friends and sensei had on him he didn't make it like in the past. One time I had to rush to Konoha's limits to pick him up and come home accompanied by Naruto and other occasion I waited desperate, tearful and worried at home while Yamato-sensei and Kakashi-sensei brought him back home from the frontier of our village. We noticed how much he really wanted to leave behind Konoha and disappear like he had done it before and we knew that it was mainly because of his hallucinations. I held back my tongue and I was a patient, caring and dedicated nurse and medic nin all those long days and nights of endless and hurting preoccupation, sadness, frustration, worry and anger till I couldn't anymore the final day when Sasuke's stress was so strong and his hallucinations had caused him to run away being pursued by Naruto, Kakashi-sensei and Hinata that they had only reached him when his condition couldn't take it any longer and he had suffered a seizure like the one he had in Miyu's last birthday but even worse. If it wasn't because they were on his tail following him to stop him (a matter the blond Hokage kept secret to the Council the best she could) he could have really die all alone in the middle of the forest. That thought haunted and scared me horribly while I was sitting by our bed waiting for him to recover consciousness. I did my best hiding from Miyu the real state of his father and the true mood of my heart and I didn't leave home at all. Mother came to help me and when she couldn't Ino or Hinata did it and that helped me a lot and I thanked them from the bottom of my heart. That last seizure had left Sasuke really weakened and I had taken finally the decision to stop him myself at any way necessary, whatever it took me. If I had to yell and be mad I was going to do it and be it because I couldn't help to feel like dying every time I watched him lying on our mattress unconscious and weakened. It took me a lot of strength to not cry in front of my little girl whenever she asked me for her father and when she entered the room to see him and she just greeted him with a hopeful smile and held him and kissed his cheek. I was so desperate, concerned and sad, and the worse was that I was angry at myself for not stopping him before more roughly and I was angry at him for being so stubborn and proud and idiot. What kind of wife I was when I hadn't done more to stop him when I knew he wasn't doing well to himself? What kind of wife I was when I gave up so easily just because I knew him pretty well and I didn't want him to be mad at me and I respected his decisions not minding his true condition and limitations? It was enough. I was going to force him to listen to me and stop this mad rhythm of life he was living in spite of his disrespect for his special condition.

Even after I took that firm decision I chose to wait till he was stronger and better. That was why I didn't say anything to him when he finally regained consciousness and I just focused for a while in the relief and happiness that flowed from my heart to my entire body when he opened his black orbs and he was back to me, to us, after days of being lost in the velvety darkness of rest and recovery. I just stared at him with serious and worried expression as my tears pricked at the corners of my emerald eyes and my lips trembled in emotion and release of tension and stress that had possessed my body all these long hours. The scolding and anger were contained in my wrinkled forehead waiting for erupt. I couldn't say anything to him right then when he was still a little weak and confused and I contented myself with knowing that he was recovering without consequences, holding back my own desire to hold him, take his hand or simply kiss him passionately and never let him go again. Hours later he seemed a lot better and Miyu was with him very happy keeping him company as I was in the kitchen finally relaxing a little after so many hours of despair, concern and frustration. The hurt and sadness were disappearing from my troubled soul as I drank my steaming favorite tea that I bought at the hospital and Hinata was washing the dishes. We were talking about Sasuke's recovery when someone knocked at the door and Naruto's girlfriend went to see who it was and I remained thankful sitting on the chair feeling really tired and weak. I had barely slept in these last days when Sasuke was unconscious and even when I had wanted to sleep more my aching and preoccupied heart didn't let me do it. I wondered if it had been really just four months since my wedding and honeymoon. Four months ago I had married Sasuke Uchiha and I had devoted myself and my life to him and our little pretty daughter. I couldn't help to smile happily in spite of the sorrow and I felt the bittersweet feeling spreading all over my being. It didn't matter that everything wasn't sweet. Just staying with my little sort of family was more than enough to make me smile and find happiness in my own way.

"Sakura"

I turned around hearing Hinata calling me and I found her coming to the kitchen followed by Tsunade-sensei. I tried to get up smiling to my former sensei and glad of seeing her in my little home but she dismissed my effort and just took sit smirking too in front of me. While the Hyuuga heiress served her a cup of delicious tea I wondered between worry and joy why she had come to see me. She was very busy and it wasn't common to see her visiting someone even if that someone had been her apprentice once. After all she was the Hokage still.

"Tsunade-sama! I'm so glad to see you here."

"Me too, Sakura. How's everything? I received by Shizune the notice that Sasuke had woken up hours ago." I nodded feeling my eyes watering easily at the mention of that and I controlled it blinking away the damn and stupid desire to cry. "How's he?"

"He's fine. He's recovering but everything is going back to normal."

"I'm happy to hear that." Hinata sat down with her own cup of tea and Tsunade-sama smiled to her before she fixed her honey wise eyes on me. The pearl eyed girl watched both of us alternatively serious and concerned. Surely she was thinking the same as me. "I guess you're wondering why I came all the way here to talk to you."

I nodded frowning preoccupied and intrigued. Our Hokage was calm and relaxed even showing a little of concern but her attitude eased me enough to not be really alarmed. Hinata kept looking at us silent and preoccupied.

"I came because I have a proposal to you. I'm worried with all that happened concerning Sasuke and yourself after your wedding. The fixation the Council had showed to him had affected him like I sadly predicted and I've been wondering how to help you out. The affairs Konoha had outside shouldn't involve Sasuke anymore and the obsession the Council has on him shouldn't affect you either."

"I'm part of it because I married him, right?"

"Yes. I think that's why you've been more involved than ever in missions, investigations and work. I promised to help you all and so I thought in something to give you some time away from all the madness of the Council and the business of the village." I averted my eyes thoughtful and a little worried. Tsunade-sama smiled reassuringly. "Sakura, I know that you and Sasuke are true ninjas of Konoha and that you were raised to be devoted to your obligations and responsibilities, and of course, above all, I guess you feel loyalty and concern for the village that had been the home of your families and yourselves for a very long time." She paused briefly and I locked my jade gaze on her smiling and understanding face. "But right now the most important thing is your family, your husband, your daughter and yourself. The three of you deserve a time off due to the special circumstances you're going through. Nobody can blame you for it and in fact I think to force you to accept my proposal. It's not like you're going to vacations, you'll be doing something good for others and Sasuke will have time to rest and recover. It won't be forever either."

"What's your proposal, Tsunade-sama?"

I asked nodding grateful at the blond woman. She was right. Right now the most important thing was my family. Sasuke and Miyu.

"I talked with the Kazekage at your wedding." She began smiling calmly. Hinata and I exchanged an intrigued look. "We both agreed that sharing not only some tactics and way of improving the ninja's development is all we can do as allies. We talked specifically about the medical matter and he commented that in Sunagakure this isn't a very developed matter and that it is necessary to attend and take a look at it. So we got to the conclusion that it was a good idea for the both villages to help each other in that particular issue. I want to send you there with Sasuke and Miyu of course, to train and teach some of the ninjas that wants to be real medic nin and to exchange some techniques they could have with you. You can learn too a lot of new stuff and it would be something reciprocal and with good benefits. I can give a long permission to Sasuke and don't let him be sent to any mission till he's totally recovered, I can deal with the Council, don't worry for that and it's time to do it and say that I'm there. I personally think that a new air and place can help him to settle down and adjust the treatment you know now perfectly. What do you think?"

I was speechless at first and amazed by her words. In fact it sounded perfect and it meant a lot to me as a medic nin and to the three of us as a family. Tsunade-sama smirked knowing by the change of my surprise to a happy smile that I was agreeing and Hinata smiled too.

"It's a perfect motive to force Sasuke to stop and relax for a while. You can blame it on me so you won't have to quarrel with him about it." The Hokage said winking and I just chuckled. "And it's perfect for you, for your career as a medic nin. You're his wife and you deserve to take opportunities like this one too, he needs to see that. You're not the only one who has to sacrifice sometime."

"I think you're right." I said finally smiling wider and grateful. "Thank you so much, Tsunade-sama!"

I almost cried once more as I thanked her but I controlled myself with a lot of effort. Hinata clutched my hand smiling kindly.

"You don't have to say a word. Anyway, I already sent the information to the Kazekage so I guess he'll be waiting in the next days your arrival to Suna. Don't worry about anything or anyone here, or the Council, or your house. We can handle it."

"I don't know what to say… you're all so good with us… thank you so much!" I couldn't help to start sobbing stupidly. I was so touched by their concern and care but I was feeling embarrassed for my emotional mood. Hinata held tighter my hand as I was trying to dry my tears with the free one. Tsunade-sama looked at me smiling understanding. "I was so worried wondering how I could force Sasuke to stop! I was ready to yell and fight! I was desperate building up excuses to make him stop!"

"Well, now you don't have to worry for that. Just blame it all on me."  
We laughed after she gestured indifference and shrugged and my damn childish tears kept falling down my face. I remembered myself in my young years very ashamed and I was sure inner Sakura was laughing her head off mocking me.

Later that night, I talked to Sasuke about Tsunade-sama's mission for me and her order for him to take a time to recover and rest. As I was waiting for, he wasn't pleased by the order the Hokage had imposed on him but he couldn't do anything about it, he couldn't go against the high authority of our village and the respect he undoubtedly felt towards her. And concerning my own mission on Sunagakure, I was pretty sure he could see my enthusiasm and what it meant for me as a medic nin. I talked sincerely cheerful and pleading and he just listened to me in his now eternal silence and attention with perfect fixed black orbs. I wasn't going to back out in this and I was going to use my role as his wife if it was necessary.

"Please, Sasuke. It won't be a long time. It's very important to me." Yes, it was. I couldn't deny that. But it wasn't important because it meant good things to me as a medic nin exactly but because it was a perfect excuse to apart him from the Council's fixation and his own pride that had risked his health lately. I wasn't going to scold him now for it because I didn't see the point with the proposal my former blond sensei had done to me and I didn't think that fighting about his former behavior about it was going to help in anything right now. "Support me in this; come with me and Miyu to Suna."

What I dreaded most was the possibility of him staying here even when Tsunade-sama had ordered him to step back of missions and work. What I was going to do then? I knew I wasn't going to let him here alone even if that meant that I had to sacrifice this good opportunity to stay by his side. I wasn't going to enjoy it if I was going to be there worrying to death for him and I knew it perfectly. Sasuke just heard me staring at me seriously calm and then with just a plain and simple nod he accepted and I was so happy and relieved that I smiled widely and I embraced him snaking my arms around his neck.

"Thank you, thank you!"

When I noticed what I had done and I was still doing, I blushed embarrassed and feeling stupid and I pulled away with my face lowered and feeling awkward. He hadn't rejected me in any way and in any second I was holding him but he hadn't embraced me either. Probably he didn't want to be rude with me.

"I'll start preparing everything then. We should go the sooner we could, we cannot have the Kazekage waiting for us too long."

I excused myself with that explanation and without really looking at his eyes I left breathing unevenly and with my heart beating fast against my chest. I hoped to have acted normally. It was sad that something as simple as that kind of demonstration of love between us now that we were married was something so complicated to do. It wasn't spontaneous like it should be. I had to think in the consequences when I did it without thinking and if I did it thinking it, it lost the magic of the moment. Nonetheless, I tried to not fall in that trap of my bittersweet mind right now when in fact things were turning good and in my way. At least for a time my little family and I were going to be far away from the Council's tactics and schemes and it was going to be exciting to live in another place for some time. I couldn't help to be excited and cheerful and very relieved and Miyu was very happy too for the new environment where she was going to live. The only sad thing was the fact that we weren't going to see our friends and family often for a long while but it was inevitable when you moved to a new place. Mother was tearful, sad and happy at the same time when I told her the next day but she supported me after I explained what had happened and what it meant this to me and Sasuke. My friends and sensei were pretty supporting too and even when they were sad somehow and joked around I knew they understood perfectly and besides it wasn't that we were going to the other side of the world or forever. Naruto was the one who moped around more about our soon moving but he was laughing and giving us thumbs up after a little while. I promised that time was going to fly and soon we were going to be here again like if we hadn't ever gone. With all their help we were ready the third day after Tsunade-sama had proposed that mission to me and we parted to Sunagakure in the Land of the Wind where Gaara waited for us. The only thing that worried me a lot was to know that my friends, sensei and the Hokage were dealing with the hard situation outside Konoha and endangering the peace of the ninja world but I breathed deeply and I trusted in them getting out of it soon and fine. I really trusted in our wise Godaime to do the things in the best way for everyone and the safety of my talented and strong dear ones. That was all I could do now that I had the responsibility of my family in my hands.

The trip to Suna lasted the common three days. The only one of our friends that came along (to accompany and help us and of course, for personal reasons) was Shikamaru. The trip in fact was good and enjoyable even though it was naturally nostalgic too. I felt so relaxed, hopeful and joyful after we had left Konoha behind us that it was like a big weight had been removed from my hunched back and aching shoulders and all the tension, worry and fear that I had been feeling was gone too. All that I guessed had worried me in our way to Suna but that didn't lessen my cheerfulness and good mood. Miyu was the one who enjoyed more the trip; after all for her everything seemed new and exciting even in her young two years. We tried to not stop for long time while we were on our way because we wanted very bad to arrive the sooner we could. I wondered all the way about our new life there and how it was going to be our home and my ingénue and dreaming girly mind was distracted imaging things impossible to happen anyway. That didn't shake off my joy and desire to accomplish the mission for which we were moved from our village to this one in the Land of Wind. Finally when we arrived at the afternoon on the third day and I looked around smiling at the village in the desert and the wind blew our clothes and hair I couldn't help to be uneasy about something that I wasn't sure what it was. I was hopeful and happy to be here expecting enthusiastic to start my mission and be relaxed and peaceful far away from the Council's grip back on Konoha and seeing how excited my daughter was. But when I noticed the way Sasuke was acting a little colder than usual and distant and how his piercing black gaze fixed on me sometimes when our looks crossed I felt a weird hunch crushing my chest like if it was warning me something or maybe just remembering me something. I couldn't shake that thought from my wavering mind as we were received happily by Temari and Kankurou (who looked at Shikamaru like if he was some sort of interesting insect) and of course, the Kazekage, Gaara. I was barely putting attention to him while we talked in his office about what Tsunade-sama had already told me and I felt ashamed and bad for my lack of proper focus. I tried very hard to concentrate in my mission and ease myself; probably I was just being paranoiac like always and seeing things that weren't real. Sasuke and Miyu were with me too in that meeting and I took the opportunity to think and analyze his behavior when the Kazekage started to talk to him about the chance for him to do missions like he did it in Konoha with Temari and Kankurou of course while we stayed in Suna. I couldn't deny the fact that Sasuke had a very impressive background as a shinobi and even in his current condition was very talented, great and responsible. That was something Gaara couldn't forget either and he was right in wanting him for that. Of course, Sasuke accepted immediately. I had watched him furtively but he was being his same old self. Had he acted just like that with me? I had been so distracted and concerned that I didn't remember if he had acted that way with Kankurou and Temari before. Was I just imaging things? Was I trying to make a mess out of nothing just because I knew that he didn't love me? I knew that sometimes Sasuke had acted colder and distant with me and others, just like it had happened some moments in our honeymoon and back in my department and I had always justified him knowing that he was married to someone he didn't love even if he felt attracted towards me. I supposed he was a man after all, and I was _good _enough for him to feel attracted but that wasn't everything in a marriage and we both knew it since the beginning. That didn't erase the fact that his whole heart and soul wasn't into it and for that he could not be happy or at least at ease always. I wasn't either, anyway. I was always drowning in the bittersweet feeling of not having my whole dreamed marriage and family. I supposed that for him it was the same if I was Sakura Haruno or not, any girl pretty enough could have make him feel attracted enough to want to have sex with her at the end. Thinking that as Miyu sat down in my lap staring at her surrounding curiously and Gaara talking to Sasuke I couldn't help the damn and stupid unshed tears to prick at the corner of my blurred jade eyes. I felt a strong desire to cry but I knew I couldn't do it right now and in front of them and so I distractedly dried my tears before they were streaming without stop from my burning eyes. S_tupid. You knew it from the start, why are you behaving such like a child now?_

"Are you ok, Sakura-san?"

Gaara asked to me in his common serious and observant expression, calm and collected and posing very solemn on his own way as his role demanded. I nodded with an easy and quick smile as Sasuke pierced me by the corner of his onyx eyes and Miyu looked up to me curiously.

"Yes, I guess I'm only tired."

"You should." Gaara said nodding. I hadn't lied. In fact I was tired because of my incessant thoughts troubling me. "It's a long way from Konoha. Then I guess for today it's everything. Tomorrow you can start with your activities, Kankurou will pick you up Sasuke and I'll take Sakura-san to our hospital. You can take Miyu-chan there, I assure you she will be perfectly taken care of and you can have an eye on her. For now I'll accompany you and take you to the place where you will be living."

"You don't have to, Gaara-sama." I said ashamed as we all got up from our seats. "You sure are very busy and have more important things to do than guide us."

"It's not a problem. Anyway soon the night will come and Temari is with Shikamaru. Kankurou is preparing everything for tomorrow. I don't mind going with you."

I nodded not daring to contradict his good intentions and courtesy and we followed him all the while till we reached what it was going to be our temporary home. It was near to the main quarters of the Council and Gaara's office and home of him and his siblings and it didn't take us long to arrive. The place was a little home bigger than my own department at Konoha and very comfy and nice. It had everything we needed and even more that we had back home. Soon I recovered from my emotional moment of realization (I have one from time to time) and we got comfortable soon as we unpacked and walked around the place to know it. Sasuke was carrying Miyu all the while as she pointed to the place she wanted to see clapping happily and I smiled widely and warmly watching them before I went to what it was going to be our room. After I arranged all our belongings in the right place I watched the big comfortable bed and I launched at it finding it the most amazing bed I had ever known. I don't know why but it was such a great bed that I lay down there immediately closing my eyes and smiling after I breathed deeply burying my head in the soft pillow. I was so exhausted indeed.

I don't know how but I had slept from that moment till the next morning and I hadn't awakened all night to at least go to the bathroom. I was so ashamed and feeling guilty the next day knowing I had left Sasuke and Miyu on their own that I promised myself to stay away from that tempting cursed bed that it increased its power when Sasuke was lying down in it too. The next morning at least I woke up early and we were prepared when Kankurou came to pick up Sasuke like Gaara had said the previous afternoon. My Uchiha just nodded to me before going and I stayed there sitting on my chair again feeling that weird feeling that Sasuke was acting colder and distant with me once more. _He didn't even kiss my cheek._ Before I left the bittersweet feeling to crush me again and the stupid tears to appear and remember myself once more that I knew it and I couldn't expect or demand anymore, Gaara appeared in person and that distracted me enough at least for a while. He accepted to take a cup of tea while I finished preparing Miyu to take her with me to my new place of work. When I returned to the kitchen I watched amazed and ashamed the Kazekage washing and drying his cup of tea after drinking it while I talked with him about my first impression of the night in Suna.

"You didn't have to do that, Gaara-sama."

I said embarrassed but he just turned at me calmly.

"You don't need to call me like that when we're alone, either you or your friends. And it's not a problem at all. It's nothing that Temari doesn't make me do at home when she has the chance."

I couldn't help to chuckle at that. _Poor Shikamaru_, I thought before we left the house and I followed him through the streets of Suna carrying a very curious and happy Miyu in my arms. Suna was definitely very different from Konoha and so the life style was different too. Gaara nicely talked a little about the village and some buildings till we arrived at the hospital and then he introduced me to the important people working there and then to the ones with whom I was going to work. We were there to teach, learn and share our experiences as prospects of medic nins, new medic nins and experienced medic nins. Immediately I tried to feel myself comfortable and calm and as soon as the Kazekage had gone I started to talk and do my work as the Hokage had asked very enthusiastic and happy. I loved being a medic nin and I loved to be there to teach and learn myself and thanks to that everything worked smoothly and rapidly that the hours went by faster that I could have guessed. From time to time I went to check on Miyu who was in the nursery of the hospital and was very happy knowing new little friends and even learning few things that were going to help her in school and the ninja academy one fine day. When I said goodbye to my companions in work and class I went to pick her up and I watched her for a brief pause smiling very glad for her good adjustment to the new surrounding. Probably it had been good for her too to come here where she was forced to be around new people and kids of her age and older, back in Konoha she was taken care by mother and my friends and even when I knew she was fine and happy I knew that this was another place and circumstance where she could share time with children, something she rarely did in our village besides the moments she was with Asuma-chan, the son of Kurenai-sensei and the deceased and well remembered Asuma-sensei. I wondered if the third member of our unique family was having such luck as me and Miyu while I was walking to home with my little girl in arms. The sunset was going to come in some hours. I frowned thoughtful pondering about Sasuke's mood about the moving. Was he adjusting to it like we had done it? Had I done wrong forcing him to come? Was I selfish? Was that the reason he was acting colder and distant with me more than his usual self?

With the pass of days and the adjustment of our life in Suna I was sure about some things that had worried me since days ago and I hadn't wanted to really believe or give enough importance to talk about. The only things that were totally fine and working perfectly was my job at the hospital and performing the mission Tsunade-sama had asked of me and how satisfied, realized and happy I felt doing it and of course, my family's changed life. Miyu was utterly and sincerely blissful and had little friends and continued learning. Gladly I found out that Sasuke was adjusting too perfectly to his new life at least for a while here in Suna especially by Temari and Kankurou's commentaries about it. I noticed that Sasuke was indeed in his own way satisfied and happy performing the task Gaara had asked of him, after all I had been living with him under the same roof and I had known him from a long time ago and I had known him again after he had returned to Konoha and he stopped being a traitor and enemy. I could tell. But Temari and Kankurou's words about the missions they did were another way to find out that I was right when I was with him in home and I noticed that he was at ease here too and he didn't seem to mind like I had thought the moving. Because he wasn't overworked and stressed here like in Konoha by our Council he was getting better and on track about his health like before the Amaterasu's incident and I was very relieved and happy for it. I adjusted his treatment and I was attentive to any slight chance like always but everything was going fine in that matter. In those aspects of my life and world everything worked out fine and I was happy to see it. Even if I didn't see Sasuke in a day or two it wasn't the same tension and worry I suffered in our village when he was in a mission demanded by the Council. But there were things that now concerned me and I had been keeping quiet about it. They circled around Sasuke as always, around the indifference he was showing towards me more than ever when he was at home together with me. He wasn't rude or mean but I could tell the difference between his usual behavior and a sudden change and that increased too unfortunately when his health started to get better day by day. Now that he didn't need me as before he seemed to want to put distance between us more directly. That crushed my heart and made me cry whenever I pondered deeply about it making me feel stupid and hopeless even when I had expected something like this to happen some day. Anyway I promised to him that I was going to take care of him and be the best medic nin and nurse he could have. I don't know why I told him just that last night when we went to bed. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't understand how I let it hurt me when I had always known how things were going to be between us. I was glad that Miyu didn't notice in her innocent happy world but I was stunned at how it affected my mood and saddened me to tears when I knew I could do it better and stop feeling sorry for me.

I wondered about all this after I had taken a very relaxing bath and the day had been calm and cheerful and outside the sunset was marvelous and enchanting especially if you were staying in a village located in the middle of the desert. I tried to distract myself from my heartache remembering I had received mother's last reply to my letter earlier smiling happily and reminiscing about the last news of Konoha as I sat on the comfy mattress still wrapped on a soft towel brushing my wet pink hair. Suddenly the door opened and I turned to see who it was a little caught off guard and I found Sasuke standing at the doorframe watching back at me with his eternal calm expression. We stared back at the other till I was aware that I was the half naked one although I was wrapped on a towel but I didn't move or do something to cover myself more not finding point in doing it. We had been around the other totally naked and in more intimate moments to worry about something like this.

"You can use the bathroom now, I'm done."

I simply said smiling sheepishly and he nodded courteously with his frozen calm and then he came over to me sitting down on the edge of the bed while I was still there and feeling a little awkward but in the end relaxed. I felt hypnotized and paralyzed by the way he was looking at me furtively as I brushed my hair and it confused and startled me. It intrigued me what he wanted and why he was there with me in this precise moment and of course to my bad luck and romantic's heart I wasn't complaining about it.

"How was your day?"

I asked normally and with ease and used to be around him after spending days and nights under the same roof. He still had power over me to boil the blood inside my veins and raise my pulse and make my heart to beat faster against my chest and to put the annoying red on my face and especially cheeks and that I hoped never to change a bit the rest I had for life and I had forced and educated myself to avoid showing it to him in a more evident way wanting our relationship easy and calm. I had to do a lot of effort to not jump into him and kiss and hug him like my crazy soul demanded but I always managed it perfectly and I was getting used to stop thinking it possible. I had promised to myself and to him to not bother him with my unwanted feelings for him. Unluckily sometimes I couldn't help myself to stare at him furtively totally enchanted. To watch his delicious lips, his stunning eyes, his beautiful body.

"Mine was fine."

I could barely said feeling myself feeling awkward in uneasiness and hiding it the best I could and cursing myself as I got up and put the brush on its place and I decided to put some clothes on. Luckily I was wearing underwear already and I put the towel aside as I decided what to wear looking through our wardrobe. I watched him through the mirror a little shy in spite of the custom of us living together and dressing in front of the other but Sasuke seemed to not notice my blushing shame and he just nodded calmly with intense piercing look in response. I picked some clothes quiet and between calm and uneasiness I put them on the bed trying to ignore the fact that he was still there in his silence. Before I could put some of the clothes on he stopped me when slowly he reached out a little and I stared at him hypnotized and swept away by the deep blackness of those adored orbs. He stared back at me with his serious calm caressing my cheek with his thumb with slow movements and I watched him speechless and stunned not daring to flinch a bit away from his touching and this special moment. Why he was acting like this? What feelings were hidden behind those onyx eyes of him and his intense looking fixed on me? What he was thinking? The surprising thing for me was that at the moment I realized that I didn't care any of the answers of those questions and I just felt the fervent and irresistible desire to kiss his wonderful lips a mere inches away from me. _How much I love this young man, _I thought finding myself just going in circles around that simple and sincere phrase and I didn't think when I dared to make my wish come true and leaning over him getting closer I cupped his face with my hands and I pulled him towards me closing my eyes slowly and finding quite amazing and shocking the way he didn't reject me and let me guide him as he closed his eyes too. Was I dreaming? Did I fall asleep while I was taking my warm and relaxing bath? Was he doped or something? My lips shut up my constantly crazy and unwavering questioning brain when they met his softly and tenderly and I kissed them tasting with slowness and softness and he took the hand he had used to touch and caress my cheek to the back of my head pressing there softly and kissing back with total will and devotion.

Definitely something weird was happening today. And the truth was that I gave a damn.

Soon we were trapped in the heated and sweet kissing and I felt his arms encircling my body and motioning me to sit down on his lap. I didn't lose time and I did it not wanting to stop kissing those lips. When I opened my eyes and I stopped the kissing I immediately started to take off his upper clothing with his own help and we resumed our sweet passionate kissing and our arms snaked quickly around the body of the other covering slowly and softly the warm skin and our hands left soft prints wherever they rested and caressed. We remained like that immersed in the hypnotizing kissing and enchanting caressing for a long moment while our panting breathed inside the quietness of the bathroom. I simply put myself on his care and passion (because I knew it wasn't entirely love) enjoying the strange moment without words between us till we needed to stop to breathe deeply. We were still holding the other while we caught our breath and I didn't want to spoil the moment with my endless wondering right now. I had showered him with my eternal love and he was embracing me protectively and softly and I wasn't dreaming that. We remained the same in the quietness not daring to go beyond that for different reasons and I knew that even not having sex this time had been more meaningful and more special from all the other times when we had been together like this. I knew it since the beginning. This simple kissing and touching had been even a lot more sincere and giving just to say different than other times and there had been something in the air definitely special and I had felt it and realized it. Sasuke had acted a little different from other times and it amazed me even when I couldn't exactly point the difference. The way he had been with me while he was kissing me touched my heart deeply for his care and his surrendering and when we had stopped and we remained sitting on our bed and he rested without any intervention of mine his face against the nape of my neck I was sure than ever that something had happened this time. I remained quiet and surprised wondering about it between confusion, happiness and concern, sat down on his lap now almost turned to the front while he hugged me. Luckily for me he couldn't see my face straightly and I put my hands of top of his breathing deeply and smiling inwardly still wondering about what had happened. Had he somehow put aside his guard for a moment? Why? Did he feel simply attracted like all the other times? Why should I have to worry when something like this had happened? I knew why: because for me it meant something very important and I wasn't sure if for him was the same. What about tomorrow? Would he act more openly with me like it had happened a while ago or would he retrieve to his distance? _You made another mistake, Sakura. You shouldn't have trusted so easily, you'll be backfired again some day… enjoy it till it last because you don't know how long you'll have him like this…_

I felt him resting his forehead against my shoulder and his arms tightened a little more. Somehow it seemed to me the first time that I felt him with his guard down like he had been after the Amaterasu's incident and like he was when he had hallucinated again after we got married and I stayed with him to calm and comfort him but this time he was in all his conscience and senses. Could it be that our staying here had somehow changed him deeper than I had guessed? My incessant thinking was stopped when we both heard Kankurou's yells calling for us from outside and Sasuke and I exchanged a quick glance knowing unfortunately for me that it was time to end this moment.

"Sakura! Sasuke!"

It was awkward to return to normalcy when something like this happened between us but I couldn't do anything more than got over it so Sasuke took a quick shower and dressed quickly like me wondering what was going on with Kankurou. While I put on my shoes rapidly and Sasuke finished putting on his upper clothing I listened to Miyu's voice chatting with the sand sibling cheerfully and I wondered why Temari hadn't been the one to bring her back from the hospital. Today Miyu had assisted to a birthday party of one of the older boys and she had been happy about it the last days. Temari usually was the one who took care of Miyu when Sasuke or I couldn't and strangely and lately she had been begging us to take care of her and buy her things. I entered into the kitchen followed closely by Sasuke where Kankurou was with Miyu talking and laughing. Our little girl clapped watching us coming over and she smiled kindly.

"Momma! Dada!"

"Hello sweetheart." I said kissing her forehead followed by Sasuke who did the same and took her in his arms while she giggled fascinated and he softened his expression. I looked at Kankurou who was staring strangely at us and I tried to not blush but I wasn't sure if I achieved it. Our friend cocked a mischievous eyebrow at me with a wink and I felt really embarrassed wanting Temari to be the one there and not him. "Hey Kankurou, what's up?" I said with normalcy trying to not look at him directly still ashamed. "Where's Temari? I thought she was going to bring Miyu home like always."

"Well, she was in fact but that obnoxious boyfriend of hers arrived early on the morning and to show her that I WASN'T A JEALOUS BROTHER like she thinks I told her that I would pick Miyu-chan instead of her and I would bring her home so _she could talk and take a walk _with that Nara boy."

Sasuke and I couldn't help to exchange a meaningful look of amuse and then roll our eyes watching Kankurou folding his arms over his chest with serious face talking like an annoying father instead of a brother. I wondered how Gaara reacted at this. I chuckled amused while Kankurou glared at me funnily and then he got up from the chair stretching his body.

"Anyway I came too to invite you to have dinner at our house. Gaara said that he wanted to have a dinner with the three of you and the _Nara boy_. We guessed you're dying to hear news about Konoha at first hand and we hadn't spent time all of us together either. In fact it's the first time that _Nara boy_ will share time with us in a normal way."

Kankurou said thoughtfully scratching his head while Sasuke and I exchanged another amused look and he rolled his eyes and I giggled having fun and knowing how Gaara reacted at last. Man, this sounded to me like _meet the parents _instead of a normal dinner that of course, I wasn't going to let it pass. I couldn't help to grin all the way to the Kazekage's house while we followed Kankurou imagining Shikamaru's mood and face. Sure it was that he and Temari had started to date since a while ago but Gaara and Kankurou had never really taken an action like this one. I wondered why it was. Temari hadn't told me anything either and lately I didn't see her as often as I wanted because of my job and strangely I felt she was avoiding me. Probably I was imaging it. The two brothers used to bother her in their way about her relationship with the _Nara boy _but they never really meddle in it because she didn't let them, of course. When we arrived to the nice and big house of the sand siblings I was more surprised when I noticed that in fact Gaara seemed to be the one that had cooked the dinner and was in the kitchen finishing the preparations while he ordered to Kankurou to look for Temari to set the table.

"Where's she anyway?"

"She's in her room."

"Ok."

Kankurou left whistling a funny song and I approached Gaara who was to more surprise added wearing an apron and very focused in the dinner. Sasuke seemed to be very amused by the entire scene since Kankurou had come to our house and I could see the corners of his lips twitching comically while he was carrying a happy and smiling Miyu in arms. I grinned before talking to the leader of the village who right now looked like anything besides that title.

"Do you need help?"

"No, thank you, Sakura-san. Everything is ready."

"Alright."

Sasuke put Miyu in a special chair designed for children and when I was going to sit down too to wait for Kankurou and Temari I wondered where Shikamaru was. Was he precisely late in this special occasion? Suddenly we heard Kankurou screaming at the top of his lungs something like _"Oh for the love of God, my eyes!"_ and Sasuke, Gaara and I exchanged confused and worried looks before they dashed immediately and quickly out of the room and I looked at Miyu concerned. She was curious about it but remained still and calm sitting down on her chair.

"Sweetie, stay here, alright? Mom and dad will come back soon."

"Yes, momma."

I nodded smiling proud at her and I went to where the yelling was heard first and I found Gaara, Sasuke and Kankurou standing outside Temari's bedroom and I approached noticing the amused expression of my husband and the shocked and embarrassed of Kankurou and the stunned and ashamed of Gaara. What was happening? I looked into the room curious and concerned and I found Temari and Shikamaru lying on the mattress barely covered by a tiny sheet embracing and staring back at the witnesses annoyed and paralyzed. I blushed embarrassed imagining what had happened and after a long awkward brief pause hell broke loose when Kankurou pointed at Shikamaru blushed and angered. Temari was blushing too but out of deep annoyance and she was frowning calm while her boyfriend was intensely calm and frowning annoyed.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS TEMARI?"

"Don't yell, Kankurou." She said like if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. "You saw it, so do you want me to explain?"

"OH SHUT UP!" He said shocking wildly his head very scandalized. "I'll need therapy after I caught you doing it with this excuse for a man!"

"Hey, I'm not"

"SHUT UP." Kankurou said to Shikamaru shaking in seemingly perturbation. Gaara was still speechless and staring at the couple like if his brain had turned off or something. "You should be embarrassed after I caught you _banging_ at my sister totally naked the both of you! I'll have nightmares the rest of my life! The same Kazekage is here and he caught you too! You should be ashamed Nara boy! And you too, Temari!"

"Just calm down and shut up Kankurou. You should have knocked first!"

"I didn't know you were with him _doing_ _it_! And besides you should have been getting ready to have dinner as Gaara said earlier! He killed himself in the kitchen to prepare a dinner for the Uchihas and this _boyfriend_ of yours!"

"Oh my God, it was today?"

Temari asked scratching her head while Shikamaru rolled his eyes and was trying to cover himself more with the tiny sheet. For me it seemed that Sasuke was having a lot of fun but he somehow had remembered the precarious meaning of the scene and he turned around and went back to the kitchen. I couldn't help to chuckle and grin covering my face with a shaky hand.

"YES IT WAS TODAY!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

Temari moved restlessly greatly annoyed and soon she was almost naked in front of her brothers if it wasn't for Shikamaru who quickly grabbed her from behind and covered her with the tiny sheet. I smiled out of complicity due to my friend's situation and somehow I noticed something out of place in the blond oldest sand sibling. I narrowed my eyes thoughtful with a little grin spreading all along my lips. Before I could order my thoughts inside my brain Gaara without saying anything blinked a couple of times totally serene and in character before turning around and walking back to the kitchen. Kankurou was still paralyzed in his spot blushing embarrassed. I cleared my throat after receiving an S.O.S from Temari's look.

"Come on; let them to get ready to have dinner. You need to set the table, anyway. You cannot leave everything in your little brother's hands."

I smiled between nervousness and amuse due to the awkward situation and I took Kankurou's arm pushing him gently but strongly towards the kitchen wondering what it was going to happen now. Well, I couldn't help to go back to that little reunion I had on Konoha when we had talked about Shikamaru and Temari's relationship. What a forecasting moment seemed right now.

Back at the kitchen Gaara had resumed to his activities like if nothing had happened and Sasuke remained playing with Miyu. Kankurou immediately started to set the table muttering indecipherable things still wearing a little frown after talking briefly with his younger brother while I decided to help Gaara with the dinner just to act normal and not staying now near Sasuke. The moment we had had previously burned my soul intensely and I was afraid I could break the pact we had done at our honeymoon. What else could happen besides the normal thing when two people who at least felt attracted towards the other clashed? I sighed inwardly remembering sadly the pressing of his lips against mine and my heart ached knowing I had almost slipped even if he had been the one who had started it. It wasn't just because I was the woman and I had all the right to stop it but because I was the one who was risking more in it and the one who was going to end more hurt if I got carried away like him. My musings thankfully were swept away when the annoyed couple entered at the kitchen and sat down at the table and the dinner started in embarrassing silence. I wondered if we had done well staying there when they had family issues to discuss. Gaara was the only one sat down at the head of the table while I was by his side followed by Sasuke and Miyu who was the only one happy and smiling thanks to her childhood and blessed ignorance of things. Kankurou, Temari and Shikamaru were sat down at Gaara's other side. The awkward moment went on till Kankurou cleared his throat after he and the Kazekage exchanged a meaningful look.

"I'm sorry for not knocking at the door."

He said with rigid and monotonous voice still watched by Gaara. Temari looked at him by the corner of his eyes somehow surprised and with a little glad grin.

"Thank you, Kankurou. You're excused. Don't do it again."

I chuckled inwardly watching the puppeteer master rolling his eyes still a little annoyed and embarrassed while we all ate the delicious things Gaara had prepared himself. I wondered if Temari was going to say anything else or Shikamaru perhaps after what I had noticed staring furtively at the couple with a little calm and happy smile. But surprisingly to everyone it was Gaara who talked now after a long silent and calmer pause.

"Now that the cat is out of the bag, I think it's time to ask you if you're going to marry or not, and if you're going to do it before the baby is born or you'll wait."  
The red head leader's words made Kankurou and Temari to almost choke. I couldn't help to chuckle and I tried to hide it behind my napkin as I pretended to use it. By my side and watching him by the corner of my jade eyes I noticed that Sasuke was eating peacefully like if he wasn't taking part of the scene. Shikamaru just sighed calmly eating while Gaara stared at him and Temari with piercing emerald gaze. Miyu started clapping joyfully as the two elder sand siblings were coughing and drinking from their teas trying to recover from the unexpected words of his little brother.

"Baby, baby!"

Miyu giggled and Sasuke smirked with some sort of proud look still eating in his own world. I smiled at my two friends wondering how I hadn't noticed before till tonight about Temari's pregnancy. She looked with wide opened eyes at Gaara who continued eating peacefully and waiting for his answer.

"You knew…?" She asked as Kankurou was shocked and blinking trying to process the last news. "But… but… I thought that I could expect it from Kankurou but from you…!"

She seemed quite surprised and now calmer as she stared at Gaara who simply was drinking serenely from his tea. Kankurou sat down straight eating in some sort of hypnotizing state as his soon brother-in-law sighed tiredly rolling his eyes.

"I have known it since a long time ago." The Kazekage simply said like if it was nothing to Temari's surprise. "You shouldn't be surprised. You have always said that I'm an observer. You started to ask only to do paperwork and you acted strangely. You avoided all of us skillfully. I was just expecting you to say something. I thought I was doing right in giving you privacy. "

Temari nodded still a little surprised but then she smirked gladly and reached out placing a kiss on Gaara's cheek. Kankurou finally seemed to wake up from his reverie and sighing deeply looked at her by the corner of his eyes with a little serious frown.

"Anyway, Gaara is right." He said rolling his eyes and folding his arms over his chest. "I was sincere when I apologized about not knocking. And I guess this was going to happen sooner or later after the kind of relationship you seemed to have with Shikamaru." Temari cocked a questioning eyebrow setting her elbow on the table and placing her face on her hand staring with a triumphal smirk at her brother as Shikamaru muttered _"I'm right here" _annoyed. "It's just that I've never thought _that_ day was going to come so soon."

He sighed again with dramatic attitude and I giggled watching Temari rolling her eyes and Gaara setting his unnerving green eyes on his future and soon brother-in-law in some kind of silent communication.

"Awww… is my little brother sad?"

Temari said chuckling and smirking amused as she wrapped her arm around the puppeteer master fondly and ruffled his hair causing him to look embarrassed and trying to get out from her bear hug. Kankurou tried to look serious and offended but it was obvious to anyone he was clearly amused by the situation.

"Stop it, Temari!"

"Just say it already! That you're sad and jealous because I'll go away and you'll miss me."

As the two sand siblings quarreled joyfully I looked at Shikamaru who was still staring at Gaara with some weird vibe going on between the both. Sasuke was enjoying himself looking like if he wasn't putting attention to the scene in front of him even if it was the other way around as Miyu clapped happily.

"So? For what I can guess, Temari is about four months far along, right?"

"You're right as I expected from an excellent medic nin."

I smiled brightly at Shikamaru wondering inwardly what Kankurou was asking now in loud voice still playing offended while he ate with shocked expression.

"Why you waited so long to say it? I'm almost uncle and I didn't know it!"

"Don't be foolish, Kankurou." Temari said folding her arms across her chest and rolling her eyes. "It's still long to come for the baby to be born. And anyway, we didn't want to be pushed around or rushed to do anything."

"EXCUSE ME for giving YOU the idea that _I was_ going to push you around or rush you, but I'm wondering why you waited so long! I mean we all KNOW that sooner or later you both were going to marry! Were you waiting to tell us when the baby was ready to pop out?"

"Baby, baby!"

Miyu giggled and clapped once more as Sasuke was secretly smirking pretending to be courteous enough to not show interest in the issue of the sand family. I tried to behave even when I found the situation weirdly hilarious. I knew that Gaara and Kankurou weren't in fact upset or angered about the happy and kind of unexpected news. It was normal that probably the both or just one of them thought that the right thing was for Temari and Shikamaru to marry as soon as possible or maybe to first have married and later have children. The green eyed Kazekage was still staring silently with his piercing and intense look at Shikamaru while he rested his elbows on top of the table and crossed his hands. His chin was hidden behind the intertwined relaxed hands like if he was thinking hardly and deeply in something. I watched Shikamaru's forehead and I looked amused at a vein throbbing there. Temari and Kankurou were still quarreling and babbling.

"We'll get married in a month, anyway." Shikamaru's words after a released deep sigh silenced the sand older siblings and Temari turned at him with cocked questioning eyebrows and hinted surprise. "So, don't worry about it."

"If you're ready to be _chained and devoted _to me forever, then I guess is fine." The blond kunoichi said solemnly smirking at her future husband. This one frowned a little rolling his eyes. "By the other hand I don't like the idea of marrying being so fat."

"You're going to marry him! It wasn't really a _good _proposal but I'm not going to let my nephew or niece to be born without having this man taking responsibility."

It was the turn for Temari to roll her eyes annoyed after Kankurou had spoken so solemnly and almost raising his cup like if he was doing a toast. Gaara visibly was satisfied with Shikamaru's proposal and he stopped staring at him, something that obviously relaxed the Nara heir. We all then resumed our eating and drinking and I was very happy for Temari and Shikamaru's soon wedding remembering with my eternal bittersweet feeling my own months ago as I stared thoughtfully at my plate. Did something have changed since then?

"Momma"

"Yes, sweetie?"

I turned to my little girl with a big smile wondering what she wanted. Sasuke looked at her too attentively.

"Momma baby!"

She clapped and giggled happily as I blushed deeply red and Sasuke was out of his own body and mind for a moment. I heard a little embarrassed the chuckles of Kankurou and I watched furtively the smirks on Temari and Shikamaru's faces. Just Gaara, as usual, behaved with courtesy enough. I cleared my throat and smiled widely to Miyu not knowing what to tell her. And after remembering the romantic moment Sasuke and I had shared hours ago I forced myself to stand by our pact even when I couldn't face him right now fearing he could have read the foolish thoughts written all over my reddened face and he watched me straightly by the corner of his magnetic obsidian eyes.


	23. Talking

**Hello to everyone who is still out there reading and waiting for this.**

**I have to say that I'm very sorry and ashamed for leaving you in blank for so many months, my last update was in February I think, so I'm deeply sorry and it won't happen again. My life suffered big changes since then and even when now I'm not in my prime I feel good to go on with this story till the end. For you who are wondering how many chapters are left, the last one will be the Chapter 28. So it's not a long way to go, and I'm very happy for seeing that some of you are still waiting for updates and to this story to end, and it will end, don't worry, I know I had said the same other times but now being so close to the closure, it's needed to be done. So don't worry and have a little patience, please, and thank you, thank you really from the bottom of my heart.**

**Now let's go on with the reviews left to Chapter 22:**

Massu Chan: I'm very glad that you liked the chapter! Surely I would have appreciated the big hug you wanted to give me ;). I hope you're still liking the story so far and that I could make a part of your day :). There are somehow those moments you love in this one, I think, ha, ha. Writing the part of Shikamaru, Temari and Kankurou was funny indeed, and Gaara, Gaara is very nice to write to me. I like him too, after Sasuke of course ;). Don't worry, you'll soon find out what happened to Sasuke and your petition is granted in this chapter! Let's see if another Uchiha baby comes along or not ha, ha. Have a great day you too :) and thanks to you!

hikari98: I'm happy you like the story and that it almost make you cry :), then my job is well done! Thank you for your sincere and kind words about it, we'll know what Sasuke is thinking, don't worry, sooner or later, and then we'll see what will happen to this little family ;). There will be a part from Sasuke POV but it's still not the time, but don't worry, you'll have it ;) and I'll try to update sooner. You'll have to wait to see if Sasuke is mute and sick the rest of his life, but you'll have an answer, don't worry ;). Thanks for liking my writing and for your kind and sincere opinion of the story, I really try hard to keep it intersting and that's why I put a twist or at least I try it. I love long chapters personally too ;). Don't be sorry for asking me when I'm going to update, your last private message really made me good :) so don't feel bad :), thanks for it! Thank you :)!

Kaelin The Black Swan: Thank you so much for your honest reviews and I'm sorry it's being complicated to you :) and that Sakura cries so much, but I guess the situation had gotten her like this. Anyway thanks for taking time to reading it and reviewing, have a very nice day ;). Thank you!

C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: I couldn't help to laugh when I read your review. Yeah, sometimes Miyu is like you said ha, ha, I have some difficulties with including her in the story, because in fact I hadn't been around kids and I don't know a lot about them for first hand, that's probably why I wrote that Sakura thought she was as smart as Shikamaru was when he was a kid ;). And about Miyu saying that she wanted a sibling, yeah, it didn't went well, that's what I tried to correct her words in the chapter. Like I say, I dont' have experience with kids :). Anyway, I thought that maybe she was like his good dead uncle Itachi, and I didn't see it weirder than it is because a seven year old finished the ninja school and then he was at eight years old a Chunnin. Ha, ha, I don't know, maybe I'm just out of that specific area ;) or I don't know exactly anything about age. Thank you for your review, really! It made me laugh ;) and feel ashamed ho, ho.

thinkthoughts: Thanks to you :)! I'm glad you like it! I hope to see you around again ;).

xx-tenshi-xx: I'm prepare for the negativity, don't worry and like I had always said, I enjoy reading your reviews :). Yeah, I know that Sakura hadn't really acted very good all along the story like Sasuke and I'm impressed how you ressumed their actions in short words in the entire story. I really enjoyed reading it completely :) and I'm sorry for making you so angry about what happens in each chapter, but I'll wait to see what your opinion is till the end, if you still want to read and leave a review I'll be thankful :). Thank you for taking time to write what you really think and especially if you don't like either of the both. I'm a little worried for what it's going to happen in the next chapters :S. Thank you ;)!

ciel kazu: I'm sorry for taking so long to update! I'm glad you liked the wedding night scene and it will be more SasuSaku from now on ;). Yeah, Sasuke is a jerk :). Good luck to you and have a nice day :)! Thank you!

AVAuchiha: Thank you for loving the story :)! Yeah, bittersweetness is the word I guess. You have your first wish granted ;), the other one will have to wait ;) and the last one... we'll see ;). It's was funny and amusing to write the sand sibling argument and I wasn't very sure about it, but I loved it :) and especially when Temari kisses Gaara on the cheek. I'll update sooner I promise! Thank you!

Akasuna no bharath: Thank you for reading it despite the lenght! I'm a person of long chapters as you can see, excepting the first ones ;), I know what you mean, I had to read parts of the story and the last chapter before writing the next one to get the vibe, I'm glad that you think the story hadn't lost its power :). I tried to answer to the reviews sent to me :) and I'll try to do it always becuase I really like to read them to see what you think and because you all are pressure to me to update, ha, ha! You have your question answered here, at least a little ;). Thank you!

sonia: Don't worry :) for not reading it sooner, I understand, forgive me for not updating as soon as I promised! Yeah, I thought that giving you an idea of how long the story is you'll feel more at ease about it :). You're right about Sasuke! You'll soon find out what the real cause of his sickness is, don't worry, and we'll see what end expects for him and Sakura too. There will be a Sasuke POV in one moment, don't worry, but it will be, and I'll try to let you all see what was going through his mind in short way all the story. About the other baby, we'll see ;). I'll continue it, don't worry, just be patient with me ;) and keep pressuring me! Thank you!

sasusaku: I'm so so so sorry for not updating sooner! I promise it won't take long again ;)! It will be finished don't worry, I want to finish it before the manga ends anyway, ha, ha. About the Council... yeah, they'll deserve to be killed even for something they're going to do in some time but we'll have to wait ;), thank you for reminding me about the tattoo, I had almost forgotten it! You'll have to wait if he will be healed but don't worry, I'll try to keep it updated sooner :). Thank you!

If I forgot someone please forgive me and tell me in the next chapter's reviews :)! Then here you have the new chapter :). See you next time.

**Chapter 2****3**

**Talking**

"Everything is almost ready."

Temari said sighing tiredly and closing her green eyes while her friend stared at her with a smile creeping into her face.

"I can't believe almost a month had gone after Shikamaru proposed to you that weird night."

The blond sand sibling chuckled as she looked at the green eyed medic nin in front of her playing with the spoon inside her tea absently. She surely had her attention put on Temari but this one could see by that mere unconscious act of distraction that something was going on deeply inside her friend's mind.

"Weird night? Yeah, indeed. Don't remind me." Temari paused rolling her eyes as Sakura amused chuckled remembering it. "God, that was a weird night indeed. I never thought that Shikamaru's proposal was going to happen in that way and in fact, I never thought he was going to be the one proposing. I had always believed that I was going to be the one proposing to him after years and years of relationship."

Temari laughed joyfully with that special and unexplainable glint in her eyes that Sakura had seen many times before in other women who were going to marry, the same shining spark of someone who is in love and is loved in reciprocity. She felt her attention drifting away after a blink of her jade eyes.

"Then the celebration and drinking came and Kankurou got drunk and the next morning he had a hangover of the size of the Land of the Wind." Sakura laughed having fun with the memories while part of herself drifted off to that spot within her soul where she was staying since days and nights ago. "I couldn't drink because of this one." Temari said rubbing her swollen belly of almost five months sweetly, something that it was unique to see in her. "Sasuke couldn't drink either because he's under meds."

"I drank a little. I didn't want to lose my mind." Sakura said chuckling and knowing what she really meant. _And if I lose my mind I would surely do something stupid once more. _She tried to not be entranced in the inner thoughts plaguing her mind. "I have to say that it was a little… strange to see Gaara drunk. And Shikamaru too."

"Yeah, you're right." Temari said shivering amused as she and Sakura laughed. "Believe me that I won't ever forget my two little brothers and my fiancée drinking and singing hung to each other." Temari rolled her eyes and her friend chuckled. "But it was the first time Gaara was like that and I have to say that even feeling twisted it was good."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Sakura smiled. "You're happy for him."

"After everything that happened for so many years, I cannot be more than grateful and happy for having him together with Kankurou. When I look back at the first years of our live" Temari stopped shocking her head and sighing with furrowed brow and letting out a deep breathe. "I don't know. Dammit."

Temari blinked away some tears and she dried her tears and cleared her throat.

"It's ok." Sakura said smiling. "It's natural to be emotional in your state, believe me."

After a brief pause when Temari had calmed down she spoke again.

"I know it's this momma's boy's fault." She said looking down at her grown belly. "What was weird too was the fact that your bright daughter told me that I was going to have a boy." Sakura chuckled nodding. "And the fact that she wants a baby brother or sister."

Sakura nodded with calm and thoughtful face and Temari noticed the effect of the words on her.

"She's little but I think she connects the idea of siblings." Sakura said with a smile hiding her real thoughts and feelings over the issue. The oldest sand sibling chuckled staring at her preoccupied and understanding. "She sees her other friends with brothers and sisters and it's natural for her to want one."

"Sakura, is everything ok?"

The medic nin was caught off guard with her question but she nodded with a soft smile. Temari had noticed her changing mood and musings the last days even when Sakura hadn't given it a lot of attention in purpose remembering why she felt inwardly coward and stupid.

"If you want to talk about anything, you know you can count on me. I dare to say that since our sort of engagement you have been acting strangely."

It was Sakura's time to shake her head immediately with a big smile and easy chuckle. She didn't want to say to her friend who had all the right to be happy that her happiness had opened her eyes and the realization was killing her within. It had been so ironic to found out how she had done the things wrongly just because Temari and Shikamaru were going to marry. She stopped her train of thought focusing in the worried face of her friend.

"I'm just nostalgic. I remember my wedding day and it was so perfect." _What a lie or at least, half lie._ Sakura saddened inwardly although she didn't show it to Temari who luckily seemed to buy it when her furrowed brow softened. "A wedding is such a pretty thing."

Temari laughed hard after the pink haired medic nin sighed deeply with dreamy eyes that she somehow found forced. Anyway if she didn't want to tell her yet she wasn't going to insist.

"For someone as you sure it is in that way. I would have been happy with just a simple wedding. But Kankurou had to say otherwise."

Temari rolled her eyes and it was Sakura's turn to laugh.

"Well the big sister of the Kazekage is going to marry and with a member of one of the most famous clans of one of the allies of the Land of Wind and Sunagakure. You really deserve a big wedding even more impressive than mine." Temari chuckled and Sakura grinned wondering then how the wedding of Gaara would be. "At least you don't have to worry for the preparations to do; you have plenty of people working for you counting with Kankurou."

"And for what I barely know the wedding is going to be big and fancy, you can assure that. Sometimes I think is Kankurou's revenge on me and Shikamaru for the unexpected pregnancy. My little brother doesn't get bored in annoying my fiancée at all."

Sakura broke into fits of laughter remembering that it was very true indeed. Poor Shikamaru was going and coming between the two villages and Kankurou didn't leave him in peace enough. Gaara by the other hand had acted more maturely even being the younger of the two brothers and just was over Shikamaru in silence like if he thought that the Nara heir was thinking secretly in running away and not attending his own wedding. It was obvious not only for the bride that the groom was not into the like of big celebrations and being so busy with things as a wedding demanded. Anyway it was obvious to Sakura that Temari was really excited and happy for the upcoming wedding even if it was too much for her own like, but a wedding was a wedding after all for most women in the world. Sakura drank from her steaming mug and then she kept her jade eyes fixed on the hot liquid drifting in her inner musings. Shikamaru's entrance into the kitchen caught her lost attention and Temari smirked happily at her soon husband.

"Hey, what's up?"

Shikamaru shrugged with his easygoing attitude and sat down besides the pregnant blonde sighing tiredly.

"Kankurou told me he's going to come back with me tomorrow to Konoha." Temari chuckled funnily and Shikamaru rolled his eyes as the pink haired observer snorted amused. She couldn't be more grateful to her friends for bringing her joy in her gloomy days of thoughtfulness demanding her to recognize her tormented inner self.

"So, it's going to be fun." Temari said shrugging and still wearing an amused and funny lopsided smirk. Her fiancée rolled his eyes again. "A little trip with your brother-in-law. At least Gaara isn't going too."

Shikamaru furrowed his brow before taking a smoking mug of tea. Sakura was pretty sure he was thankful that his other brother-in-law was someone as important as the Kazekage and leader of the village of Sunagakure who were busy with his obligations and duties. Anyway she was sure too that Shikamaru was going to enjoy the two different personalities of his soon brothers-in-law.

"It's so troublesome to prepare a wedding."

"What did you expect of marrying the older sister of the Kazekage?"

Sakura cut in amused and smirking gladly and she received a frowning from the groom. He yawned and it was obvious the boredom he felt when things related to the preparations came.

"Thank heavens I'm pregnant. I'll just wait for everything to be ready."

Temari smirked with mockery and drank from her steaming mug.

"Lucky you. It's not fair."

"Sorry honey, but I'm the one carrying your son and that's a busy work, the least you can do is to prepare our marvelous wedding. We can change places next time."

Temari said joking and laughing having true delight in fun. Shikamaru smirked.

"I'm satisfied with only improving your good mood."

"Oh, that's so sweet."

Temari said chuckling amused and Shikamaru rolled his eyes smirking and then he looked at her swollen belly and gestured at it.

"My mother is brimming in happiness like you. She cannot wait to have him in her arms."

Temari smiled widely and chuckled and unconsciously she put her hand on his forearm and pressed it playfully. Shikamaru gave her a simple smirk and he looked simply glad. The medic nin remained quiet and absent staring at her friends and with the attention needed to finish her tea. Somehow she felt saddened. Why it was? She remembered she knew it but she couldn't really unravel it now, not now when she was there with the happy and unique couple and they started to talk in their own way about the wedding's preparations that were unfinished. Sakura nodded and smiled and chuckled when they turned to her talking things that sounded foreign to her right now and just because in a normal chat you usually look at the specters as a common behavior. She stayed there on her chair listening to things she didn't understand lost in her own thoughts and pretending attention, feeling like the worst person in the world for doing this to her friends, for being so sad for their happiness, for being so distracted from their life. _I'm a terrible friend. _She thought sadly and inwardly with her eyes burning but finding herself strangely unable to drop a single rebel tear. _Not anymore. I'm done crying. There's nothing good at it. I cannot change anything being the same old cry baby I was. I'm tired and sick of it. I need to stop moping around the same old thing; I need to focus in what's important._ For the long moment she remained there in the kitchen of the sand siblings staring at the true and happy display of behaviors of her friends she watched over and over the real, simple and true connection linking them and it crushed something inside her deepest heart of hearts. It was true that Shikamaru and Temari weren't exactly a couple who showed their love and affection in public as others like Naruto and Hinata for example, she had barely seen them holding hands or kissing and still they were so obviously in love. As she had seen their connection was real in spite of their own personalities and beliefs, it was simple to feel, understand and see, and completely true, as true as the fact of needing air to keep on living. They didn't need to be seen hugging, kissing or holding hands, in their own space and normal communication, even the silent one and the mockery and sassy comments, they were real, simple and true, they were a couple in love. They loved each other and they were happy for their upcoming wedding and the soon baby they were going to care and love despite the fanciness of the circumstances. They simply were what she wanted and she wasn't. They were the real thing and she was a pretense. They had what she had always wished for, just like what Naruto and Hinata had, just like what Neji and Tenten had, just like what Sai and Ino had. And that knowledge was breaking silently and quietly her heart and was tearing apart her resolution and forcing her to realize her biggest mistake. That simple realization was opening her forced closed eyes and was dispelling the blindness she had chosen to wear to save the man she loved and give her daughter a home and family even if it wasn't the real thing.

And the last days since Sasuke had approached her that fateful afternoon before the dinner where Shikamaru and Temari had chosen to unite their separate paths and form a home and family, those last nights and days flooded her mind and soul, crushed her heart and untied her contained feelings, thoughts and emotions forcing her to see the truth with her eyes wide opened and her battered heart struggling against her troubled mind. _I should have listened better to Kakashi-sensei that time. But I always chose him above all the things and even myself. Was I really selfish? Was I really such a dreamer?_

* * *

_They waved goodbye to Temari as she was standing happily on the doorframe and inside her house the laughs and loud voices of Shikamaru and Kankurou could still be heard from outside. Sakura chuckled before turning around to follow her husband who was carrying a sleeping Miyu strongly in his arms and she listened when Temari entered the building and closed the door behind her. Her emerald eyes looked up at the night sky filled with bright stars and the glowing moon hovering above their heads while the sound of their footsteps were listened along with the common noises of the midnight time of the village. She couldn't help to feel happy and in good mood, the dinner had ended perfectly and all the experience had been so delightful to watch despite the rough beginning. She bowed her head stopping her dreamingly stargazing and stared then at the back of her husband who was just a few steps ahead of her with their daughter in arms. She was pretty sure that Sasuke had had fun too and she couldn't help to be pulled into the romantic moment they had shared hours before. She wondered what could have happened if Kankurou hadn't interrupted them. Somehow she feared the answer and some part of her longed for the smallest opportunity against it. Other part of her smacked her inwardly for the foolish thoughts that came along with the wondering. She knew what she had asked of him regarding that specific topic, didn't she? But dreaming didn't have a cost, so, why she couldn't dream? She was always doing it anyway when Sasuke was related. She sighed deeply within herself staring longingly at the young man in front of her and she bit her lower lip remembering how different that moment seemed to be from others. Could it mean something? Really mean something else besides the common and regular Sasuke thing? The hopeful part of her soul soared at the possibility but the major part of her didn't want to go further than that. She lowered her jade orbs and they fixed then in Sasuke's right hand. He was now carrying Miyu only with his left arm._

_She let them linger there while they were walking silently back to their house with charmed eyes. _Just take his hand, _her inner voice said in a whisper as her soul soared within and her heart exhaled a deep yearning breath. Strangely her green orbs filled with some unwanted and expected sadness but she couldn't help the childish and foolish part of her that was locked in just the mere fact of taking his hand, Sasuke's hand, her husband's hand. It was just a simple act of partnership and compliance; it was just a mere leap of faith. Could she do it? Just take his hand and walk beside him instead of always being few steps, few inches, behind him? Could she do it after he had been the one who reached out for her and had started that wanted and loved show of emotions whatever they were that she had answered blindingly? _

_Suddenly she didn't know how or why it happened or when her heart had overpowered her head, but she felt her white fingers encircling Sasuke's ones, she felt her hand getting a tighter grip on her husband's hand, and she was aware that she had taken those little steps that always were between the both like a giggling happy little girl who has been granted a wish and then she was aware that he hadn't jerked away or pulled away his pale hand, that he hadn't rejected her gesture or backed away from her intent. She didn't feel his hand squeezing hers but it was still there intertwined with hers. He didn't even blink nor he turned to look at her with whatever kind of reaction or emotion she could have expecting from him, knowing him as she knew him. He kept his steady pace and she adjusted hers to his and she felt happy just for a simple gesture that existed so naturally in every normal couple in love that exists in this large world. She felt happy just for a simple show of affection that it shouldn't be so difficult to achieve or to decide, that it should be spontaneous and not so damn thought to do. She felt happy until she recognized inside her aching heart that she had preferred any expected response from Sasuke than his indifference and cold demeanor. It was said that hate was better than indifference, that suffering was better than forgetting. And she knew it then that it was true, Sasuke's indifference to her little gesture was ten times worse than his expected rejection of it. _I'm not here_, she suddenly thought._

_And somehow and suddenly, she was aware of how short her happiness had been and how sad it was in fact this little step she had taken forward to connect with Sasuke, because it wasn't how it should have been since the beginning. She wasn't Temari and he wasn't Shikamaru and she was forgetting her own petition she had asked of him, and she was again dreaming and hurting due to the reality she always tried to shun away and that it was always there in front of her face trying to open her blinded eyes. It shouldn't be like that, and she knew it and it hurt and all the fault was hers because she had forgotten everything just for a simple moment that it didn't mean anything at all at the end._

_And the grip her hand had on his lessened and she lowered her emerald gaze now watering but unable to shed a single damn tear anymore. She was done crying and it was time for her to be done with the dreaming and hoping too._

* * *

"Are you alright?"

Sakura was caught off guard as she was staring and spacing out with burning eyes and saddened expression at her empty cup of tea. Shikamaru was staring at her with that look he wore when he was trying to decipher things. Sakura smiled nervously and faking joy gesturing with her hands that she was fine. Temari on her part was glancing at her with clear understanding that ashamed the green eyed one medic nin.

"I'm sorry; I've been very busy at the hospital. I need to rest." She paused acting now more normally not wanting to worry her friends and let them now how their plans and happiness were destroying her false home life. Sakura couldn't let them know it, it would only make her feel worse and they didn't need to know it when this was their blissful moment. She forced herself to act with normalcy and just focus in their happiness and let her meditative moments to the times she was all by herself. "After all, I need to leave everything ready here before going back to Konoha for the wedding."

"That's very true." Temari said calmly. "Gaara is doing the same. I would kill him if he couldn't go to my wedding."

Shikamaru chuckled while Sakura glanced absently at the clock hanging on the wall.

"My, I need to go now." She got up after finishing her tea and feeling being watched intensely by the two people in front of her. Unluckily for her they had to be very smart people indeed. "I'll see you later."

The both nodded wearing smirks and the medic nin left the kitchen heading towards home where Sasuke and Miyu waited for her to come. She wondered how long it was going to take her to burst into tears and scream and smack herself for her stupidity and late awareness. But the point was that she was sick and tired of herself and just thinking in crying again like she always did despite the years gone by caused her to hate herself. She had made her own destiny with her own hands and she wasn't in any position to just start crying and mopping around for the big mistakes she had done because she had used her heart entirely.

Hours later into the night she wondered inwardly in her endless musings while she was washing the dishes in the solitude of the calm kitchen if that advice of "following your heart" was completely useful. She had done it, she had married the man her heart wanted and loved since a long time ago and all she had gained was something fake, hollow and incomplete, just an illusion and sad parody of the real thing people like her friends, Temari and Shikamaru, really had. She knew that she had a lot of opportunities to make different choices, that always there was a solution to the problems ahead and that some things never were going to change ever. She had followed her heart's voice, her heart's desire and her heart's feelings and she was trapped in a relationship that was never going to really grow because it had never started in fact. Her emerald gaze wasn't willing to show anymore tears and her face was calm and resigned to the wrongs she had brought to herself because _she followed her heart _and she hadn't given time to her mind to see things under another light and less she had given it a chance to be a part of her decisions. She had believed she had really _thought _over everything she had decided and done since before she was pregnant with Miyu and she had let herself to be tangled instead of being freed from the sad hope she had always harbored despite the times she had promised to herself and to the world that she was done with it and she was ready to walk away and forward. _What a fool, arrogant and ignorant I had been. _She said with saddened eyes sighing deeply with a little lopsided smile.

Since the day Shikamaru and Temari had let all of them knew that she was pregnant and he had proposed, the pink haired young woman had started to share time and space with the happy and unique couple and she had started to be affected unconsciously by their true and heartfelt relationship where romance was even in its own way, and Sakura's unconsciousness had started to recognize and develop its own thoughts and feelings concerning it and it had only taken days and nights in comparing how things were between her husband and she so different from Shikamaru and Temari's relationship. It had taken so little to really realize how tangled she was in her own web of pretending, hoping and blinding herself that she had found herself so amazed and stunned by all the reality screaming its way through her throbbing heart. She sat down staring absently at the window and the quietness outside. Unsurprisingly the village of Sunagakure was a lot quieter than Konoha and the nights were so charming in the middle of the desert. She sighed deeply thinking saddened in how stupid and weak she had been. How childish and foolish. How she had thought that a one-sided love could save a marriage? Was it right when it had been mostly because Sasuke's freedom depended on it? Was her sacrifice truly worthy? Had she really thought in Miyu's well being? _Probably I was just selfish. I wanted Sasuke for me always, just for me, as my husband. I loved him so much that I closed my eyes to all the truth and I denied the facts, I chose to believe in the hopeless thought of being strong enough to carry on with a fake marriage when I'm the only one with love in the heart. I thought that I was strong enough to pretend that I could live with the little affection Sasuke could have for me, and not even affection, just respect for what I represented in his life, the mother of his child, I thought that I was strong enough to believe that it was going to be easy to live day by day and night by night with someone who didn't love me back, just because of my disposition and acceptance, thinking that I was all this needed to function at least normally, thinking that I was all our life as married ones needed, that I could have gotten over his unloving feelings for me, that I could be happy and satisfied with a courteous relationship with him, a relationship where we could only share our bodies thanks to the circumstance of being married and sharing the same bed when I had allowed it. Probably I wasn't strong but otherwise and I had always been weak, so weak that I didn't even see it._

_How can I let it happen?_

* * *

_Sakura stared at the ceiling__ lost in thought. Outside the quietness and the beautifulness of the desert's scenery were breathing charmingly in the middle of the night. The high moon could be seen through the opened window of the silent and shadowy house that belonged to the Uchiha family and the jade eyes of the medic nin unconsciously turned to it watching the starry night sky as her balled fists on the sheet covering her body tightened their grip. She wondered how it had ended that way, feeling the tears pricking at the corners of her emerald eyes. How could she have been so stupid and weak again? Was she going to be always regretting every single step she took concerning Sasuke? Was she going to be always feeling blame and powerlessness? She sighed deeply too tired to even cry remembering sadly the moment she had been swept away by the attraction and her cursed love before, thank heavens, Kankurou had come to save the situation. Something inside her had screamed for her in alarm and she hadn't put attention to it because she had found herself in his arms and trapped in his spell without her mind working properly and then nothing mattered anymore in her realistic world. Just that moment, that silent and slow kissing had turned her upside down. It had been merely something that had happened in which she had been taking it as an opportunity knowing that she wasn't loved. Of course she had always known it deeply and truly other times when Sasuke had been around, but that moment now held a major significance relating it with those three little and hurting letters: she wasn't loved. In that moment Sasuke had reached out for her because he found her attractive and closeness like this was an undeniable temptation, having a fake marriage like this, was undeniably something intimate and close even if the couple didn't touch. She had heard sometimes that with daily custom love can come as it had happened sometimes in arranged marriages. The closeness and company could make miracles, she had heard, but sadly it wasn't her case. But in that moment before the sand sibling interrupted them when Sasuke and she were kissing passionately and gently at the same time, she had foolishly believed it true in her case. She had needed to believe it to fool herself, to lie to herself, to pretend that she wasn't the pathetic woman she was. She was so sure that she had seen things because of it, things that weren't there and they weren't ever and they weren't going to be ever, and she had put magic in that little precious and heartbreaking moment thinking possible for Sasuke to follow that miracle that it was forbidden for her. If only she hadn't really let love to take over her or if she hadn't put all her feelings into it… if only she had done it because it was for her own protection and self defense… if only she had just enjoyed the moment as he seemed to do it to ease the real attraction that seemed to be between both… but she couldn't be coldhearted and that was the truth, even feeling empty now and not having the desire to cry uselessly as the lame excuse of a woman she was and her mind was just drifting away. _

_She knew that she had done wrong grabbing into that little moment and letting it to happen after she had asked of him after their wedding night to avoid romantic situations. She had asked. She should have stopped his advance. She should have not accepted his reaching out for her. She shouldn't have kissed him. She wouldn't have to contain her heart to be like him. She couldn't let it happen again if it ever happened. If she could be strong enough to just say no or if she couldn't say no but at least she could be strong enough to limit her love and go with the mere attraction, could then everything work out at the end? Could she stay in a marriage where only the physical attraction existed sometimes and where she was going to be forced to put limits to her heart? Could she be with him ignoring her feelings and hiding them behind the crushing reality? She only was sure of one thing at the mere end. Sooner or later she was going to be forced to take a decision and she had already a hint of which it was although she didn't want to face it right now. She wasn't strong enough to do it at the moment. _So not now, _she told herself saddened and resigned. _Tomorrow could be the day. Tomorrow.

* * *

She sighed balling her fists tightly and taking a deep breathe as she remembered how the moment Kankurou had stopped that night before the unexpected dinner and news had brought consequences that she had worsened. She remembered their walk back home when she had dared to take his hand and walk by his side at the same pace while he hadn't reacted in any way and she felt so sad, humiliated and little. So damn little, because he didn't recognize her simply as his companion and she had known it always. After those two moments, things had started to get colder between the both, a lot more than any occasion she could think of in the past, and Sakura was very sure that it was her own fault for trying to connect with him thinking that his reaching out for her was the first step to it. Sasuke had started to drift away from her since that afternoon and that night and even his unusual displays of courtesy towards her as his wife and companion had stopped. Sakura wondered if Miyu could see the signs of the changing behavior between her two parents. At least Sasuke was the same with their daughter and he was a caring father to her, and for that Sakura thought that everything was worthy, even sacrificing the life she wished and wanted like any other woman in the world, a life with a husband in love with her. Miyu's happiness was the only important matter here at the end, in how she launched at her father's arms when he came home after being absent for some time due to his missions, in how she giggled, smiled and laughed even if her father was as serious as always, in how she worked her magic on him and softened his cold and distant expression, in how she was the reason why he put so much effort in his well being, in how they were truly connected and happy together and their picture gave Sakura the happiness she couldn't find in any other way with Sasuke. Everything was worthy for it, but the medic nin wondered how long it was going to be enough. Even if she wanted to endure it till their lives were over, she feared and ached thinking that her strength was going to be shorter than that.

So for now Sasuke's indifference and coldness couldn't win over her, and she had to shield her heart to stop feeling devastated noticing that everything that they had gone through since their marriage hadn't gained her a little of his consideration or minimal affection, and accepting at least that even living together he wasn't going to love her ever, something she had hoped for to happen in her most ingénue feeling and she had tried to ignore, there wasn't a miraculous custom to pray at for it, nothing could fill the deep and big gap existing between them and the abyss lying between their places on bed, and Sasuke had noticed her reaching out for him when she had taken his hand and had turned back at his true feelings probably knowing that he had deserved it for what he had done that afternoon, Sakura thought, and that was why he had turned back at his icy self towards her. _He didn't want to give me false hope_, she imagined. Sasuke had noticed her little gesture, now she was sure, and he was strong enough to put a limit after he had weakened somehow that afternoon for whatever reason was, and he had been stronger than her, he had said stop because that wasn't what he really wanted, he had done what Sakura couldn't do that fateful afternoon and the importance of the thing done by her had been so deep that he had retrieved to his icy self than just staying with the courtesy he had been providing to her till then. _I messed it up. _She knew it, but she had misunderstood and forgotten, she had hoped and dreamed and she was paying the prize losing the little she had gained of him in all this time being married with him. The green eyed ninja sighed sadly and resigned recognizing it was her fault for going along with her own desires. She knew that she had taken wrong decisions and undoing them could cost a high prize and she had to think things thoughtfully before taking more decisions and to not do more mistakes, because after all, there was a little girl in between and she was the most important thing even above her own suffering and unhappiness. It was time to settle down and stop being the pathetic woman she was.

She entered her quiet bedroom and noticed Sasuke was already there sleeping peacefully. _I wish I could freeze my heart like you_, she thought sighing deeply and losing the eternal battle of not wanting to get her heart rid of the handsome man living in it. Suddenly she wondered what Sasuke thought of her stupid changing behavior; after all, she had been the one saying she didn't want to have sex with him again if it wasn't with the purpose of having another child. _Thank heavens I hadn't brought another baby into this mess_. What could Sasuke think? She had always told him that she understood that he couldn't love her and she accepted it. So she was the lame one here, the excuse of a woman, pathetic and without self respect who accepted the situation he had never changed. Sasuke hadn't lied ever concerning his feelings and thoughts about their situation; he had assured her since the beginning that she was nothing more than physical attraction and the mother of his child. And she had accepted it so easily at the mere end even after complaining and crying and swearing in vain for things that she couldn't follow because she melted in his arms without will needed to struggle. _I want someone with whom I can make love and not only have occasional sex. I don't want my marriage to take basis only in it. I cannot be as detached as Sasuke when we had been in it. I thought I could do it when this started, I thought I could be like him and be satisfied with it even if I wanted love, but I was lying to myself, I was deceiving myself, I was trying to change something that it's unchangeable. I was dreaming and perhaps I had been always dreaming and I cannot stay like this anymore. Realizing what others have and I don't is killing me slowly and painfully. I don't want my life to be like this forever. I don't want to live my life like this. It hurts too much and it will hurt a lot more if I stay like this with Sasuke than stopping it. _But now the next question was a lot deeper and meaningful and she didn't want to really think about it, but, did she want to end everything? She wasn't still strong enough and it wasn't the proper time to make right what she made wrong, there was a lot in between besides Miyu and Sasuke's situation and she wasn't ready to say goodbye to the little thing she had of Sasuke right now. They had married a very short time ago and she couldn't just now say that she wanted to finish it because it was crushing her and she feared what time could bring. What if Sasuke fell in love with another woman? What if they started to fight and blame the other? What if their marriage was worse than just the option of letting everything to be the way it was to be? She only had the strength to do one thing at the time to not shatter her soul in the process. She needed the little Sasuke gave to her in the icy and distant relationship they had and she was strong enough right now to accept how weak she was in fact for accepting it.

But she was tired and sick of feeling so bad with herself, she was so tired and sick of feeling so pathetic and just like an outsider for him. She wasn't the kind of woman who could live like this, having the love of her life just like this, fearing the worse to come because they weren't truly together. She wasn't and she was tired and sick and sad of pretending the other way around. That was why she had a lot of trouble to contain her sorrow and sadness when Sasuke was in front of her with that possessive and magnetic way he had and oblivious of her deep desperation and melancholy. She focused in not giving importance or attention to his sudden and slight change of behavior and didn't try to ask him or reach out for him anymore. The real silence was always there when they were at the same room and she didn't talk to him just for a simple chitchat like she used to do before. If Sasuke felt or not the difference, she couldn't tell, he was so quiet about his own feelings and thoughts and he was going to be always and the saddest part was that she loved him despite of it. Probably he could notice the slight change in her previous behavior because it was true too that he wasn't stupid in fact, not even with the emotions related, so perhaps he really noticed. At one moment when they were having lunch with Temari and Kankurou their gazes locked once and Sakura could swear he had realized that something had changed. After it, when the medic nin was taking a shower, she mused and pondered about the exchange of looks between the both. What was in Sasuke's onyx eyes? She really couldn't tell and not even could say what was in hers. Could he see how heartbroken she was for not having a little piece of his heart? Could he see the difference between having once his body but not a tiny shade of his soul and what it meant for her? Could she tell that he really understood somehow that she had given all in this? Could he know that the part of the relationship they had as husband and wife, of sharing their bed to sleep was shattering? She didn't want anymore the soulless and cold Sasuke she had although he was there physically, and some day she wanted to be strong enough to compensate for her mistakes and face the consequences to be able to free him from herself to someone whom he could love. She preferred to think that there was someone out there for him even if the wish killed her in a second, than thinking that he was incapable of loving someone. Sometimes she wondered if Sasuke could in fact _love_ or if he wanted to feel _love _and give _love_. Had he been living in the darkness for so long that he had lost the capacity to love and be loved?

That thought was the saddest and more crushing one among everything and Sakura prayed for not being real despite the hurt she felt imaging him with someone else that it would never be her.

* * *

"We'll go in two hours to Konoha."

"That's great!" The pink haired young woman said smiling gladly at the redhead leader of the village placed in the desert. She was carrying Miyu in her arms after packing her belongings along with hers and Sasuke's. "I cannot wait to see everyone back there! I know it hadn't been a long time far away but still I feel like it had passed ages since I was there."

Gaara nodded once understanding what she was saying. Temari hadn't come because she was busy packing all her things, after the wedding she was going to stay at Konoha with her husband. Kankurou had been quite sensitive over the issue since it had downed on him finally, but Gaara was acting just like himself. It seemed they were playing reversed roles as brothers and that caused Temari and Sakura's laughs. Kankurou had already gone with the groom to finish the last preparations to the leaf village and today they were going back to Konoha for Shikamaru and Temari's wedding with Gaara, the bride and some ninjas from Suna as Gaara's personal bodyguards. Miyu clapped her hands together smiling sweetly at the once host of Shukaku who softened his green stare watching back at her.

"I just have to settle some things before going, so I just came by to tell you to be ready."

"Ok, thank you, that it's very nice of you. Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Thank you."

Gaara sat down at the table while Sakura served him quickly a cup of her favorite tea carrying Miyu who was beyond happiness smiling and giggling. The leader of Sunagakure stared absently at the kitchen and then at the medic nin and the little girl with that piercing and intense stare he always wore. He narrowed his intense emerald orbs observing in silence at the young mother as this one finished serving the hot tea in a mug and then came to the table putting it on it with an easy and simple smile. Miyu was suddenly quiet and calm and she rested her head on her mother's shoulder staring calmly at the redheaded man watching back at them. Gaara locked his gaze with the little girl's for a moment in complete silence and compliance. Soon the little girl was wearing a lopsided sad smile and her beautiful and big black eyes softened.

"Here." Sakura said motioning to Gaara to drink from his steaming mug. "We have a long journey ahead."

"That's true indeed." Gaara drank from the hot cup between his pale hands still staring straight and observant at the pink haired young woman. This one just smiled as a response. "You really like this tea."

"Yeah, I know. I have to bring a lot when I came to Suna and when Shikamaru came to visit Temari I asked him to keep bringing it to me."

"Hn."

Gaara just muttered still drinking from the tea and keeping fixed his unnerving green glance on the medic nin who was so distracted with her inner turmoil of feelings and regrets to really feel bothered about it. Sakura knew this wasn't good and that she needed to focus in the daily life taking part around her, but Sasuke kept her mind blurring with all that had been happening between the both the last days and nights. The way the Kazekage was staring at her didn't in fact seemed different or special today for her, she had gotten used to his intense and piercing stare and she was glad that at least he wasn't worried about her as Temari and Shikamaru has been. After all, Gaara was so busy to really share time with her or Sasuke and it was natural that he couldn't even begin to realize the real and true life of the married ones inside the intimacy of their home. The sudden steps of someone coming startled her and she didn't even have to look at the entrance of the kitchen to know who it was. Gaara by the other hand turned at the person with slow movement and Miyu clapped happily on her mother's lap.

"Dada!"

Sasuke nodded at Gaara and this one made the same gesture as a silent and respectful greeting between both and then the dark haired young man took Miyu who was extending her little arms towards him in the gesture of wanting to be picked up. Her father took her in his arms and kissed her forehead before she giggled quietly. Then the little girl stared at him with a curious and frowned expression and a little smile clinging from the corners of her lips. Sasuke just looked at her with softened obsidian eyes and glanced quickly and mechanically at the pink haired young woman sat down in front of Suna's leader before locking his dark orbs absently on Gaara again.

"You should get ready." Sakura said calmly not lifting an inch her face from her steaming cup of tea. "We're going to Konoha in about two hours."

Sasuke nodded glancing at her briefly and then he sat down Miyu on her chair and disappeared through the door towards the main room that belonged to him and Sakura. Gaara narrowed his green hypnotizing eyes on her for a brief pause before turning them to the little girl who was staring at the space with big, precious and somehow sad innocent eyes. He blinked silently and decided to drift away just like the people who lived in that house seemed to do, something he was used to do in the past anyway.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

The journey back to Konoha was delightful on its own. Despite the inner situation I was going through with my late life as Sasuke Uchiha's wife I really enjoyed and I did what I had been doing since we both had messed up: try to ignore him as much as he did to me and acknowledge the other's existence just when it was necessary even if that destroyed my soul. It was true that I couldn't ignore him, he was too much a part of me and the love of my life, but I had to try and to pretend I did it to not really be in tears of despair and sorrow. I knew that it was the only solution left while we were together like this and I had to endure it and I was going to do it not matter what, for him an for our daughter, and the worst part was that we were going back to the village where the _important_ people thought we were a real happy couple in love. I hadn't really think in it as that, I hadn't really realized what torture was going to be staying few days at Konoha due to Shikamaru and Temari's wedding because we were going to really put out the entire act. At least in Suna I didn't have to pretend as much as I was going to do it here, I had my job there and Sasuke went away for missions and although I worried to death for him when he was far away, the pain was minor comparing it to having him with me in the same room in our freezing silence and indifference towards the other. It was very contradictory in fact and I felt horrible feeling that way, preferring to be alone in home and missing him and worrying over him like crazy than having him safe and sound there a few steps from me like a statue who didn't see me there. I didn't dare to bother him anymore and he seemed to reciprocate my intent. At least I felt a little better thinking that probably he didn't dislike me as much as I thought if he was trying to not hurt me forcing his presence on me and knowing of my feelings. I was trapped in my ambivalent wishes, wanting him close to me and at the same time far away, feeling divided and terrible for it. I loved him so much that the ambivalence was killing me.

While we were in our way back to my beloved village, I prepared myself for the suffering I was going to live in our days there. I remembered our wedding and how I had had to pretend and share a minimal space with him, our dancing, how we kissed and embraced each other, how I smiled like if I was living a never ending fairytale. So when we reached the main gates of Konoha and I felt the nostalgia for my birthplace and the bittersweet coming of my pretense, I sighed deeply and inwardly and I braced myself not willing to shed a single tear anymore and instead of doing that, I felt a little lopsided sad smile creeping on my face and I looked down at my hand were my engagement ring sparkled. I had said _I do _and I was going to say it even if it didn't hold the true meaning of the words.

The only thing that really filled part of my sad and divided soul was meeting with our friends and my mother once more. Mother was so happy to see me and Miyu that she had hugged us tightly for a very long moment talking fast and asking about our life in Suna. I just rolled my eyes telling her that it wasn't like I had been away for so long but I couldn't help to agree with her. I had missed her so much too after sharing with her so many things since my pregnancy. I asked her about father and she just assured me that he was doing well and he occasionally seemed to be eavesdropping on her when she was talking with someone about me. I felt sad and happy knowing of it, at least my father still cared about me even if he didn't want to meet me. Listening to her and being close to her, filled my eyes with tears that I didn't allow to fall, and I couldn't help to ask her to not let me go after she had hugged me for what it seemed hours. She didn't say anything nor asked a thing about my weird and childish petition, and she didn't force me to look at her straight at the face. She just complied with my petition and I hugged her tightly just feeling lively for it. Miyu immediately was smiling and giggling in her arms and mother politely greeted my husband, who in fact acted like a gentleman with her, but she didn't ask me anything related to him and sadly I knew that she suspected that something was off. And I silently thanked her for her insight and delicacy to not force me to talk about it when I couldn't do it being there watched now for our sort of enemies who in fact greeted us with courtesy and kept watching over us furtively. Anyway after we arrived I didn't care about the tiredness as Sasuke and Miyu and we met all of my friends in the following hours after we went back. Konoha was just the same and I smiled happily staring at the carved faces on rock of our former and present Hokage. All our friends were gladly and thankfully ok and luckily they weren't away in some mission. Naruto was in tears of joy and he launched at Sasuke and me and hugged us in a bear grip strong and caring. Hinata had to pull him away from us after it became embarrassing. He took Miyu high in his arms and started to spin in circles with her and the both laughed like if he was a kid. I couldn't help to laugh openly and truly listening to my friends and chatting, it was such a joy to see all our friends reunited there like Tsunade-sama and the other sensei and it was so delightful to see them again. Suddenly I knew that even being away for so little time didn't change the fact that I had greatly missed my village and my people and probably my own messed up life didn't help the case. The preparations for the wedding were done and ready for tomorrow and Shikamaru's mother was thrilled and paired up perfectly with Kankurou and his punishment to his big sister and fiancé in the form of a fancy wedding. Shikamaru's father just played along like his son and just let everything in his wife's hands. The entire village was excited and gossiping about the wedding and the fact that Temari was obviously pregnant didn't take away the enthusiasm and party mood. Somehow I felt saddened noticing the differences between my own wedding and this one, even in the general mood of the townspeople and our friends and family, now they didn't have to gossip about the doubts the Council had over it and the unlikely match Temari and Shikamaru were just like it had happened to me and Sasuke. Everything was pure real and everyone was just enjoying it without second thoughts and guesses and I felt inwardly sorrowful. I realized then that I hadn't really enjoyed my wedding like I had thought and it is supposed to be and it filled my eyes of tears that weren't spilled like I had promised to myself. I couldn't take away this moment from my friends who were in love and tomorrow were going to marry like I had never done it.

The hardest thing to do for me was to lie to my friends. That afternoon of our arrival I had a moment alone with the girls, and Ino, Tenten and Hinata started to naturally ask questions about my life as Sasuke's wife. They were really worried and kind, they were preoccupied about how he was treating me and if I was happy and if our life as a family was going fine. I was glad that at least Temari wasn't there and was busy with Shikamaru's mother; I knew that she had caught something of my inner emotional true state back at Suna as her clever fiancée, so it was easier to calm my concerned friends and to say lies a little and really pretend that I was doing well. When they asked about Miyu and Sasuke it was the only time when I really smiled warmly and proudly and the bliss filled my soul. I didn't have to lie in that. Sasuke was acting like a father with her and I could presume and gloat in that. My pretense was so real that I could see how Ino, Tenten and Hinata really believed every word, smile, laugh and gesture I gave to them. I felt terrible for doing this but I couldn't tell them the truth, at least Temari and my mother had guessed it, but I couldn't do it and I had decided to take the wrongs I had done in my hands not pulling into them my friends and family. But mostly I knew that I couldn't really put on words said by my inner shaking voice all that I was feeling and thinking, all that I had been musing about, because I was going to break down once more and I didn't want that. Probably Temari was going to tell them what she had seen back at Suna concerning Sasuke and me, just guesses if I hadn't said anything, and my three friends were going to worry to death for me. But at least this moment I could pretend that everything was ok and that I had left behind all the problems and hard things in the desert surrounding Sunagakure, at least for the few days I was going to spend here. From the boys only Naruto dared to ask me how things were between Sasuke and me directly with that kind and warm expression he had and I had to tell him the same I had said to the girls. From the other boys I guessed that only Shikamaru, Shino and Neji could suspect something if I was caught off guard or distracted, and everything was so cheerful with Chouji, Kiba and Lee that I didn't have to worry about them and silently I thanked their joking around and excitement. My mother was so pleased having Miyu back that I let her have her the most time we were going to stay, she missed her so badly and my little girl was pampered and cared for all the people who cared for me and whom I loved that she spent the time smiling and having fun with them. The only bad thing was that without Miyu I found myself alone most of the time I had to be with Sasuke and it was something very hard and painful to do when we both were as distant as the world from the stars. I was aware that we were watched by the Council and I had to make a major effort to show them that I was indeed a very happy married woman with the man they still feared and despised. Somehow the pretending and facing them from far away strangely gave me time to feel powerful and entertain myself. How ironic, when the same thing was shattering the life I had started to build before messing up so badly. The night of our arrival we stayed at Hiashi-sama's place thanks to the kind invitation of Hinata. Mother had taken arranges of my former department and we couldn't return there. We have discussed that when we returned finally from Suna we were going to buy a house, something where Miyu could grow up and have space. In that moment I had thought in having more kids around, so a big house was a perfect choice and Sasuke had agreed. Now I didn't want to think in more children, something that saddened me greatly, but a big house was still an appropriate thing. Space could do well for me and Sasuke, so I could have him close to me but not sharing exactly the same rooms inside it, just having him there, around, safe and sound, but not being swollen by the hurting invisible distance between us.

The people around me improved the biggest change in my mood. Even when the wedding thing depressed me inwardly and I felt like a horrible person for it, my friends and mother helped a lot to improve my bittersweet behavior that I skillfully hid from them. I focused in enjoying it as it was, an important day in the lives of my two friends and a party to be part of, a few days back at home and sharing time and space with dear people to me, some little vacations that my daughter were beyond happiness to have and a way for me to be around more people than in Suna whom I knew and forget a little about me and my complicated life. Sasuke and I had to be together some times like the social life demanded and to fill up the act we had started to fight the Council and we behaved and I smiled and everyone could think we were like a normal couple even Sasuke being Sasuke till the end. We didn't give the chance to a slight opportunity to deeper a moment not even with words, asking and explanations, and I knew that he understood what I was doing and he agreed with it, after all, he didn't have me hovering around him and bothering him with my feelings and he understood that he had made a mistake when he had kissed me that time. It was sad and painful to have to hug him or take his hand or kiss him even in the cheek when we were watched or we were outside and we didn't know who could be observing us or eavesdropping, and we took a lot of caution in it. I was glad that at least Miyu spent most all her time with mother so she couldn't be confused at her young age towards our slight changing actions towards the other. Thankfully Temari asked help and the girls and I helped out and that kept me focused and away from my personal life. Sasuke spent his time with Naruto and the other boys and he went to the hospital by Tsunade-sama's request for a complete checkup. Surely she was going to be glad for his well being and I was happy for it. Sasuke hadn't showed lately the symptoms of his rare sickness and I was hopeful that sooner or later he was going to be capable of healing completely. The mere thought filled me with tears of relief and warmness and although how our life was as a couple that specific thing was going better and it was all that mattered. The next day early morning the preparations for the wedding began and I was requested by Temari as Hinata, Tenten and Ino to help out the bride to get ready. Shikamaru's mother was there totally excited. When she knew that we could handle the bride she took off immediately to supervise the celebration and party because she wanted everything to be perfect. Temari thanked her really touched and I could see her own sadness over the issue. I felt really grateful knowing that I had had my mother too at my wedding and I understood that Temari missed hers in this special day.

After helping Temari out, us as maids of honor, got ready immediately and we were really excited and happy watching how beautiful Temari looked in her soft pink dress with golden embroidery and silver laces. She looked fantastic and was shining in total and utter bliss. She was of course a little overwhelmed and embarrassed for all the preparations and what was coming, she really had meant it when she had said that she wanted a simple wedding anyway, just as Shikamaru. Our dresses were in a beautiful shade of golden with silver laces and embroidery. After we all got ready we departed to where the ceremony was going to take place just in time. The place was beautifully decorated with soft pink and white roses and the golden color was everywhere in small amounts. Everything looked very classy and fancy and with a simplicity that sparkled elegance and I found myself enjoying not being the main protagonist of it. It was surely very different seeing it from this point of view and I couldn't stop grinning all the time, taking my spot beside Sasuke who looked dashing as a prince, my mother who was enthusiastic because she loved weddings like most of the mothers I guess, and my little girl who was then sitting on my lap and dressed in soft pink too with silver laces on her two tiny black ponytails. I really wished the best to my friend as Temari walked her way towards Shikamaru who really shocked all of us with his good appearance. The girls and I couldn't really believe he was the same old guy we knew when he appeared with his parents and was very handsome looking in his black suit and white shirt with a golden tie. He had combed his hair in a different manner and he looked fantastic with his serious and observant gaze fixed in his soon wife. Surely her mother had really worked on him in this special day. I grinned happily watching my male friends looking incredibly prince like as they had been in my wedding, and the place was filled with a lot of people too and even more than in mine because people of Suna had come especially to attend it. Temari had been accompanied by Gaara who looked like someone of the royalty because Kankurou, who surprised us too looking extremely attractive and charming in his suit, had asked him to do it (and he was trying to not be affected by the image of his big sister marrying) and we all were expectant and glad for the couple when they finally met and Gaara went to take his sit in the front line beside Kankurou. I watched hypnotized and excited the development of the ceremony of marriage in Konoha and then I wondered who was going to be the next of my remaining friends to marry. I smiled inwardly imagining Naruto proposing to Hinata knowing that surely he was going to be very sweet about it. The Council was invited too, of course, and even in my enjoyment and happiness I have to keep the act up and occasionally I laid my head on Sasuke's shoulder or took his hand and he sometimes wrapped me softly with his arm. I wondered if any of my friends have felt like I felt now staring fascinated and joyfully at Shikamaru and Temari getting married when I had married. Did some of them were concerned about my decision and hoping and wishing the best to me because I was going to need it? Did some of them really enjoyed it knowing that it was a one sided love? I was startled and pulled out from my sad reverie when everyone started to applause and excited voices filled the air congratulating the newlyweds and Shikamaru was kissing Temari lovingly on the lips. I was on my feet then like the rest of the people there and I clapped staring touched and glad at the happy couple and smiling widely and warmly while Naruto, Lee and Kiba were shouting congratulations and words of support to the Nara heir and the oldest sand sibling. _I wish you the best._

And somehow I knew that not only Shikamaru and Temari but all my friends had felt and thought the same words towards me that special day.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

"The Kazekage had told me how good your work had been there, I'm proud, Sakura."

"It's not big deal."

I said a little embarrassed to my former sensei holding a cup of red wine on my hands. Yamato-sensei and Kakashi-sensei were there too. By the corner of my eyes I could see Gai-sensei, Anko and Kurenai-sensei at the bar drinking and chatting and the first two laughed enthusiastically thanks to something the third one was saying. My mother was at her table taking care happily of Miyu, Tenten was dancing with Lee, Ino with Chouji and Hinata with Kiba because Naruto was at his table with Sasuke and had an arm wrapped around Sasuke's stiff shoulders who stared at him like if Naruto was a giant insect. On other table Neji, Sai and Shino were calmly talking like if they were debating an impending war and Kankurou was with Gaara on their table and was noisily saying something to the redheaded leader with a cup of red wine on his hand that flew everywhere as he gestured snickering. The newlyweds were on their table very close to each other and talking like compliances. The general mood of the big party was excitement and joy and the rhythm of the music fitted perfectly with it. The food was incredibly delicious and the cake was a piece of heaven in your mouth. Tsunade-sama excused when Shizune came and poked at her fancy pretty red dress and whispered something in her ear. I watched them furtively while my attention was on Yamato-sensei and Kakashi-sensei and I noticed Shizune's serious face that didn't fit with her elegant blue cheerful dress. The two of them went away then after Shizune greeted us with an easy and weak smile and Tsunade-sama was wearing a deep frown on her still young and beautiful features.

"I heard that Sasuke is doing great too."

Yamato-sensei said calmly and naturally and I nodded being a little startled inwardly just hearing the pronunciation of his name. I smiled.

"Yes, he's been doing some missions and he had been great at them."

"Then it means that he's getting better, right?"

I nodded enthusiastically and glad knowing that it was true and I was very happy indeed for it. Kakashi-sensei smiled sincerely relieved listening to it and Yamato-sensei nodded too.

"He hadn't had any relapses since we're staying in Suna. Tsunade-sama's treatment had worked its magic on him."

"Soon we hope he can heal properly and entirely from his weird sickness."

"That's my greatest wish." I said to Yamato-sensei still wearing an honest and warm expression on my face. I was into the same thing day and night. I was going to say something else about it when by the corner of my eyes I looked at my father talking with my mother on her table in whispers with serious expression on their both faces. Miyu wasn't with her then, my little girl was in Hinata's arms at Naruto's table where Kiba was laughing and talking and Sasuke was still trapped by Naruto's octopus arms following Kiba's jokes. Akamaru was sitting obediently on one side of his master and Miyu was giggling at the giant dog. "I…"

Yamato-sensei and Kakashi-sensei turned back slightly staring at the thing that had captured my attention and had paled my face and put a deep concerned frown in my forehead and a sad glance in my eyes. I couldn't help to feel nostalgic and sorrowful staring at my father there after not seeing him for a very long period of time, he hadn't even dared to say goodbye to me and wish me luck for my journey and staying at Suna, and he was now there because of course he had been invited to the wedding too, but I hadn't seen him in the celebration and now in the party till now. He knew that mother was going to stay close to me and Sasuke and his granddaughter, so probably that was why he didn't show up till now. The pain I felt knowing of it, knowing he didn't want to see me in any way, was too strong to handle at first and I had to take a deep breathe and contain the unshed tears filling my eyes before I could cope with it. I had decided not only to not cry for Sasuke's related things, but for anything at all. I was done with my pathetic sobbing me of yesterday. I blinked away the tears with a slight melancholic and serious frown and I wondered what my father was telling mother. Could he be asking for me? Could he been asking for Miyu? I denied the ingénue fact inwardly and I turned my attention back to the two silent and respectful men in front of me smiling softly.

"I'm very hopeful for it. Sasuke's health had improved indeed and greatly. Tsunade-sama will give us the tests' results tomorrow morning but she's very positive about it."

Yamato-sensei and Kakashi-sensei looked quiet surprised at me for my soon recovery after they had witnessed how my father's presence had affected me, but they just simply smiled kindly understanding me. Yamato-sensei started to talk about how the things had gotten calmer in the village after the nearly war that had taken place outside our country when I had decided to move on to Suna and Kakashi-sensei added some commentaries about it. I focused in listening and nodding interested and happy for the pacific outcome of the fight but I couldn't quite shake off the sadness and suffering I felt for my father's indifference and reprobation. By the corner of my emerald eyes I watched him saying something very serious to my mother before turning around to go away from the celebration. For a brief moment his serious gaze locked with mine and I could felt myself like the little child I was years ago and I had done something wrong and he scolded me and grounded me for it. But I wasn't that little girl anymore and even if I had done something wrong I faced his disapproving stare with some silent plead on my eyes and asking his understanding and affection. He dismissed it without even softening an inch his judging expression and even when I had expected it happening it hurt the same and even more. He gave his back to me and went on his own way not turning once at mother or me. I felt the overwhelming weight of his actions affecting me again but stronger and I had to make a major effort to hide it from Yamato-sensei and Kakashi-sensei. Thankfully Gai-sensei approached us and he asked something to them and I found the perfect opening for me to leave. I turned around with a fake and easy smile and false joy and I left behind the party and the happiness within it that came from my friends' wedding. I walked through the high rooms and long halls decorated with flowers and ribbons till the fewer people that came and went walking happily and laughing disappeared. I found out a balcony that was empty and faced the forest surrounding Konoha and I placed my pale hands on the banister lost in thought with eyes drifting in nothing in particular. I couldn't see anything in fact. I just spaced out there wondering how I hadn't taken in account my father's disapproval and anger towards me when I knew I was going to come back to my village. I was so busy and stressed out sorting my feelings about Sasuke and our current way of living that I had to make _perfect_ here that I had lessened the effect my own father had on me with his coldness. Probably I deserved it for being so stubborn and blind, for being so stupid and hopeful. I sighed deeply not daring to dwell anymore in it, it was more than enough what I was going through with what had happened between Sasuke and I, and I couldn't cope right now with my father's hate. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok even if I deserved to be chastised till my dying day because of my wronged way to decide. Anyway I knew that I couldn't get anything good basking in my stupidity and dwelling in my sad and pathetic sort of mood. There wasn't a magic device to turn back time and more important than it; I didn't want it if I had to erase Miyu's existence and the time I had spent with Sasuke when we had made love. I couldn't ever regret ever those two unique specific things I had in my life and just thinking in it tore me apart. I loved those two dark haired persons that had become my family in one way or another and then I smiled softly staring dreamily at the sparkling ring on my finger. And because of them I had to do it right from now on or at least die in the trying.

* * *

Gaara had been watching him from a long time ago. Around the both quiet and distracted shinobi the celebration went on and on and the noise was loud as it could get and the people was having fun in any way possible in the massive party where you could easily be lost and found hours later. He narrowed his observant eyes locked on the person that held his attention and wondered once more if he should do something or not. Apart from the watched one he was the other person among the people reunited there that seemed to be sort of spacing out. His mind found itself attracted to watch silently the distracted one in his sister's wedding and his wondering had turned from the people dancing to the quiet young man then. He heard his brother's laughs at his left side and by the corner of his jade eyes he looked at him chatting warmly with Kiba and Chouji. At his right side a few steps away his sister was dancing, smirking and talking at the same time with her new husband. They looked happy. His attention fixed again on the table where the distracted one, as himself, was, and tried to order his ideas about it. Should he do something? He had watched the medic nin a moment ago trying to deal with one of her own troubles when she had met someone she hadn't expected to see and she had left the party behind with sadness that it couldn't be hidden in any way possible in the kind of place they were right now. Where she could have gone?

He got up not noticing that a pair of emerald eyes was locked on him and without anyone else noticing around he went out of the big and joyful celebration just like the medic nin had done a long ago. Immediately Gaara stood up and slightly frowning decided he followed the object of his observation's way thankful that nobody noticed his absence either. They had a very good reason to celebrate and be happy anyway after all.

After following him Gaara didn't know how long he had been standing there in complete silence looking at her not daring to make a simple sound and let her know that he was there. For some reason he didn't want her to know, for what it seemed to Gaara who was quiet and still watching at the couple. He had watched him standing there like some sort of enchanted statue just staring at the young woman who by the way was absently looking outside with her body rested against the edge of the balcony. She seemed to be lost deep in thought and then he wondered what the three of them were in fact doing being so quiet and spacing out so far away from the noisy and joyful party being held in the giant room a few halls away. He was taken aback when he felt that he was being watched in response and faced the stare greeting him with a little nod of courtesy and respect. The Uchiha furrowed his brow and looked at him showing a little surprise that was dispelled in a second and then he glared just as he was probably wondering why a kage was watching him. Anyway he seemed to remember the importance of the title even if the person was bothering and made a reverence just out of the title the watcher held. He turned around barely hiding the fact that his onyx eyes had gone for a second to the young woman unaware of their presence so close and exchanging a serious glare with the Kazekage he started to walk away from the balcony and the wedding's party. The pair of intense black rimmed eyes followed him and Gaara was aware that the Uchiha heir had decided to not return to the party. Silently he followed him once more after he landed one last time his intense gaze on the back of the young woman with pink hair lost in her own world and sighing saddened standing on the balcony and soon he reached him just when Sasuke was on the top of the stairs that guided to the entrance of the immense building Gaara's brother had chosen to have the party. Outside the wind was fresh and Konoha was alive in its own special way and the carved in rock faces of the former Hokage were staring at the village and the citizens in antique power and silence. Gaara stared at them for a brief moment before frowning and turning his glance to the young man that was about to descend the white stony steps.

"Sasuke"

He called with normal voice and this one stopped and turned half way staring curiously at him. The Kazekage was standing there looking at him with unreadable face just as his.

"I'm a little overwhelmed too." Gaara started coming to the Uchiha heir's side and sitting down on the top of the stairs casually. He could felt Sasuke staring at him intrigued. "I'm not getting used to this kind of reunions yet. They're different from villages' meetings."

Gaara stared at the front and watched some kids playing a few meters away laughing happily while they were watched by a pair of old women who were gossiping and smirking. Probably they were gossiping about the wedding, he guessed.

"I need to tell you something." Gaara began again after the silence that had followed his last words and he felt Sasuke sitting down too beside him but a little away. By the corner of his green glance he could see him staring absently at the kids too. He could felt the weird tense aura filling the air and he knew that Sasuke didn't feel comfortable right now and probably he didn't want to deal with him. He had that sort of look that could tell that someone was thinking deeply hard in something that it's bothering and distracting. Anyway he recognized and appreciated Sasuke's effort. "You wanted to comfort her."

The dark haired young man turned quickly at the pale kazekage slightly caught off guard, something he couldn't quite hide and Gaara couldn't quite miss. The kazekage just observed him by the corner of his eyes but could catch Sasuke's reaction perfectly. This one regained his control over himself that had been lost for mere seconds and fixed his obsidian narrowed eyes on the kids playing again.

"You wanted to comfort Sakura-san." Gaara paused briefly not noticing any other slight change in Sasuke's behavior, hidden or not. "It's comprehensible. She's your wife and the mother of your child. I think she would have appreciated it."

Sasuke clutched softly his balled fists that rested on top of his knees. Gaara knew him and found some similar traits between both, and he knew that surely what he was going to say it was going to get mad the dark haired shinobi, but he couldn't go on without saying anything at all, not after the scene he had witnessed at the Uchiha family's home back at Sunagakure. Gaara considered himself a person who didn't like to beat around the bushes for so long when he felt the situation was important to deal with. He couldn't get rid of the image of Miyu Uchiha staring back at him with some innocent understanding of the things that were happening to her family. When someone as her was in the middle of it, he couldn't just stay without voicing out loud what he thought. He felt that he owed it to Sakura for what had happened so long ago when he had tried to destroy Konoha.

"Why you didn't do it?" Gaara asked without any reclaim or ill feelings directed towards the now mute Sasuke. "I guess I didn't really ask what I wanted to ask." The redheaded leader said after a long pause where he could feel Sasuke's uneasiness and silent bother was turning into something else. The once host of Shukaku took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes still locked in the kids playing and fooling around. "Why you haven't told her what you feel for her?"

He turned slightly his face and attention to Sasuke after the words were out and lingered in the fresh and quiet air. The onyx eyed young ninja didn't flinch or was startled by the question, nor did he tense up or glare angered for the other's intrusion that in fact didn't have any right to meddle. Gaara knew that they weren't really close friends so Sasuke had all the right to be mad at him for meddling in his private life and personal feelings. The leader observed quietly and calmly how the other just relaxed when his hands weren't balling anymore and his distracted black gaze locked thoughtfully on the stony white stairs.

"I'm not saying that you're in love with her." Gaara added then glad that at least Sasuke hadn't gotten up enraged. "I'm not saying that I know exactly what you feel for her either. The point is that you haven't told her nor showed her, that you _feel _something for her. Something more than just the common recognition of her role in your life as the mother of your child or the girl you know since you were a little kid, or the teammate she was for some years for you." Gaara paused. "Or the girl you know that has loved you since forever."

Sasuke finally moved a little and let out a deep breath that it seemed he had been containing. His black orbs narrowed in deep thought.

"She doesn't know that now you have other feelings for her or that you're seeing her in other ways different from all those. Instead you're running away from it and you're doing a big effort to not let her know anything, to not slip anything. You fought very hard against your true wish to comfort her just a moment ago, when you were watching her in silence and deciding to step out or not."

Sasuke finally reacted as Gaara had expected and tiredly got up absently landing a hand on the banister. But he didn't seem angered yet and the Kazekage got up too and remained strong and still as a rock staring at the same scene of the kids playing and laughing happily without any worry in their world. He wondered if Sasuke hadn't reacted badly at him because he had caught him and he couldn't deny the facts. A lonely and soft frowning was all Sasuke showed up in his pale face.

"So now the only thing left is to know why you're doing it or not doing it. You and I aren't exactly friends and in the past we had our differences but your little family and friends are dear to me. I can guess why you're acting like this, why you don't want to get close to her, why you don't want to let her know what you think and feel for her, even if it isn't exactly love." Gaara half turned around to go back to the party of his big sister but kept his gaze on Sasuke all the while. "For what I know about you and what had happened to you I can only theorize about it, but let me tell you something. Not minding anything at all you shouldn't just shut yourself from the world and the persons who really care about you. You care about Sakura-san, that's something I'm pretty sure about, I had seen it and I had sensed it even if no one else could figure out or perceive it. And I think it's not only because of the natural and common ties that come along the way both your life had been linked, it's something else, and you won't know what it could grow up to be one day if you don't give it and give yourself a chance. Don't bring back more pain, suffering and useless hopes to someone who really cares and loves you either. Don't go in circles because you're scared of what could happen if you give up once to what you really feel and want."

Gaara didn't say anything for a couple of minutes as Sasuke was staring back at him with unreadable and serious face. The green eyed young man noticed him balling his fist that landed on the banister and the slight furrowed brow he wore while they were facing each other silently and calmly with elegant strength. He didn't think that Sasuke in fact was furious with him, but he knew that this one didn't like to be chastised about it and was bothered by his words. He again, couldn't help to thank him for his effort to keep his control and listen even if Gaara was wrong or not. He wondered why Sasuke hadn't left him there when his little speech started, like he had expected him to do and if he has been right in all his guesses voiced out.

"If I'm mistaken then I beg you to forgive me." Gaara said honestly making a little reverence of recognition before starting his way back to the celebration. "But life is too short and much more if you're a ninja. It shouldn't be wasted, don't you think?"

He noticed the slight suspicion and startle painted in the face of the dark haired shinobi that his words provoked but soon as everyone could expect, Sasuke was cold and collected and finally glaring at him.

"I'll go now."

Gaara turned all the way around and started to walk towards the entrance to go back to the wedding's celebration of Temari and Shikamaru. He couldn't let her know that he wasn't there enjoying it, after all, it was her wedding, but he had said what he wanted to say and it was over. He couldn't do anything else than wait and see if he had been right or not.

* * *

Sakura heard the footsteps after being drifting into nothingness and easing herself about his father's indifference and turned around to see the leader of Sunagakure walking calmly and quietly along the hall. She didn't try to attract his attention because she didn't feel in the mood to pretend and smile not even to their friends. She felt stronger now and calmer, but that didn't mean she didn't feel the loneliness, sadness and aching that had placed inside her heart since a long time ago and that was wrapped with Sasuke's presence all over. She remained there for a long moment till she breathed a couple of times deeper and closed her eyes feeling a lot better emotionally. This wasn't the time to be mopping around and feeling blue, she knew it and repeated to herself, two of her friends had gotten married and she needed to celebrate it with all the joy her heart could find within against all odds. She smiled happily remembering Temari and Shikamaru dancing their first piece of music and resolved to return to the party and just enjoy and laugh like if nothing else could bother her anymore. It was time to say goodbye again to her depressing side and maybe even dance. She wasn't going to stay a lot of days in Konoha anyway and who knew how long it was going to take her to come back to stay permanently in her village when her job in Suna was completely and successfully done.

She turned around shaking her head a little with her closed eyes and brushing her pink hair with her bare fingers when she sensed that someone was there with her in the balcony. She somehow knew who it was just feeling it in some unexplainable way but she knew that she had to be mistaken. He didn't have any reason to be there nor be looking around for her anyway. She opened her jade bright eyes curious about it with calm expression and a soft and easy smile and found herself standing in front of the one she didn't expect to see there. She was surprised and furrowing her brow as her hands lost interest in her hair and her arms descended slowly, and she looked at Sasuke staring at her in quietness that now was common in him and still and graceful as a mannequin.

"My, you scared me." She let out with a nervous little laugh and then calming herself and feeling the common sadness washing over her when she remembered how things really were, she simply smiled. "What's up?"

Sakura wondered what he could be doing there, why he could be haunting her down. Why he had taken the time to look around for her? The Uchiha didn't react in any way for a long minute and locked his black gaze on Sakura's clear and intrigued eyes. Then surprisingly she watched him speechless and startled rising his right hand and directing it to her natural pale face. His other arm went straight to her waist resting strongly there and he leaned over to kiss her plenty on the lips in a motion that was weirdly quick and slow at the same time to the pink haired young woman. She was frozen in shock staring with big eyes and mouth gaping like a fish his pale face a mere few inches away and her lips longed for his to be touched desperately. The soft brush of his perfect fingers provoking electric waves through the skin of her cheek made her flinch in her amazement and curiosity and without really thinking it her mind won over her heart in the race of getting a reaction out of her stunned state. She backed away and forced her own hands to end the unusual caress and frustrated kiss and repel Sasuke's closeness with a strong push against his chest. This one was so obviously startled by her actions that Sakura could perfectly read it in his face, she could see his soft painted surprise and how he immediately backed away few steps backwards with graceful pace. It was such a rare thing to see in him that the medic nin was lost in silence for a couple of minutes wondering in what kind of situation Sasuke could have reacted like that and couldn't figure out any. Then she wondered why she had reacted so quickly and aggressively at it and knew that she had reacted coldly at it because her mind had reminded her in what terms their relationship were. Sadly she smiled inwardly somehow proud of herself and at the same time heartbroken at her new found courage to avoid his close contact.

"Don't." She said with clear and calm voice and jade eyes full of determination. She frowned a little getting a grip on her still shaky from surprise body. "Don't start it again."

Sasuke was stiff and still watching her intensely with serious and always unreadable expression. Was he hurt? Did he understand? Why he had done it? Was it because her last behavior towards him hadn't been enough to let him know where she stood now? Somehow she felt angry for his distraction or indifference about it, for his coldness or perhaps dislike for her, like if he could know it and didn't care if what he wanted was something physical for a moment. She knew too that she wasn't totally right in thinking and doing it, so that was why she controlled herself and tried to talk and act calm and collected.

"I don't want anymore of that." She simply said looking at him sincerely after averting her eyes for a long moment to collect her soul tattered in pieces. "I know that we talked about it after we got married but we had had moments that shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry for not keeping my part about it. But I'm asking you to do your part as you agreed too, please, that's the only thing I'll ask of you." She paused briefly trying to read his piercing attentive glance but all she saw was the same everyone saw in Sasuke Uchiha's black orbs. "I'm guilty too for doing something we agreed in not doing, in trying to have things our marriage doesn't have and it had been wrong of me to try to change that when we both knew it since the beginning. So I'm sorry for forgetting it and since now I'll be what I knew I was going to be when I accepted to marry you." Sakura nodded once calmly and with a little sad smile trying to contain the pain she was feeling inside and that it was trying to burst through the pores of her skin. Sasuke's intense watching over her didn't help at all but she had to be strong. That single and short caress and lost kiss had awakened so many things within her that her heart was still recovering from it and her soul was burnt because of his contact. "For whatever reason you were going to… anyway, don't. There's not necessity in pretending between us when we're alone, it's enough to do it around others."

She shrugged not giving importance to the painful truth behind her words and what they really meant, not digging deeper in the full significance. She wanted to say so much more like how she was sorry and felt like a stupid for bothering him with the same old thing, but she shut her inner mouth knowing that the important matter was out. She wanted him apologizing in some way too for the confusion he had brought with acts like this, confusion and suffering, because she knew that it was a lost cause and she didn't have the strength right now nor she wanted to get into an argument just because of it when this day had to be special and happy. She wanted him to apologize for toying with her feelings when he was perfectly aware of what she felt, but the major part of her told her that it was useless and it was all her fault for staying with him all this long and not putting a stop before to end these foolish games between the both. She casually averted her eyes from him and kept looking at him too like if the situation didn't matter to her anymore or didn't hurt her like it was doing it indeed.

"So don't worry."

Sasuke furrowed his brow after she let out those words and she wondered if she had angered him with them. How could anger be first than noticing how hard it was to her to say them? _Yes, he doesn't notice because I'm not there within him_. She just felt the common sorrow bathing her completely before she sucked it up. After a silent minute she decided that it was enough and they both had to return to the party of their friends, so she started her way back to it quietly with frozen calm in her taken steps. When she was beside him she caught by the corner of her decisive and sad hidden eyes when he raised again his hand to try to grab her and she stopped briefly startled for it. She couldn't see his face in fact because his black bangs covered it to her and she waited despite her mind hurrying her to move without really not knowing what to expect. She thought she had seen him opening his lips like if he was going to say something but probably she had seen wrong. Later he was quiet like always with tight lips forming a line and the still frown wore by his face and his hand that had lingered in the air towards one of her paralyzed wrists had returned to hang by his side. Sakura blinked saddened and resigned and prepared herself to leave.

"We must go back to the party."

The pink haired medic nin waited some sort of response from him in vain. He was still and quiet with his attention fixed on the horizon the balcony let see and she just breathed deeply before turning away and walking along the hall. She didn't wait enough to see that she hadn't been wrong and Sasuke's lips had parted again and his eyes had narrowed in thoughtfulness.

"Sakura"

And they had said her name in such a foreign way to the young man after being sealed by the mute voice locked inside the Uchiha's throat just when she wasn't close to hear it anymore.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

We stayed at Konoha only a couple of days more after the wedding. Those two days had been difficult in their way thanks to the persistent and discrete watching the Council had on Sasuke and me, but we had played our roles with mastery and I knew that he had understood what I had talked to him the day of the wedding perfectly. He didn't dare again to try to _hit on me _if I could call it like that and he only did his part about it when we had to. We were together most of the time to erase any tiny doubt the Council had about the reality of our marital life and it was hard and heartbreaking as always, but I did my best knowing that I have to protect him and help him even if I couldn't get the prize I wanted all along. I couldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened because I was too much hurt or discouraged to follow the lead, so that was why I did all I could to show that Sasuke and I were a perfectly normal married people and that love was there. I had promised when we had gotten married to keep him safe even if he was from himself and I only prayed to have the strength and somehow gain his coldness to act. After seeing my mother and friends I felt so much happier and stronger and I could live with Sasuke just feeling that familiar wave of sadness and melancholy, but it didn't bring me down to my knees and make me want to burst into tears as before and I was proud and hopeful of it. Perhaps it was true that you could get use to anything when you live with it everyday. When we finally packed our belongings and said farewell to our friends and my mother I was really smiling in the happiness I could find in my situation and I was content and resigned maybe like I hadn't been ever. It was quite strange and nostalgic but at the same time it helped me out to get through life and really live it not expecting anything more of the only thing I wished for. But somehow I knew that not everything was going to be just peachy between Sasuke and I after that talk and eventually the words were going to come back to haunt me somehow but I was ready to face it. With that certainty and assuredness I went back to Suna with my little family and the two remaining sand siblings to finish the job I had started there and give Sasuke the peace he seemed to not be able to find in his own village. I had noticed it furtively and I knew that he somehow couldn't be calm in Konoha like he was in Sunagakure and I understood it after everything that had happened. In our way back to the village of the Land of Wind I wondered inwardly if I shouldn't return to Konoha permanently to live again. Sasuke seemed comfortable in Suna and maybe I needed to think deeply in the possibility of not coming back to our village. I knew I had to consider it from here on but I didn't say anything to anyone about it. I was going to watch Sasuke from now and later when my job was done in Suna I was going to decide then.

After our comeback to the village placed on the desert I started to realize that the talk Sasuke and I had on Konoha had really changed things that were somehow on the way to do it before we had even traveled to attend Temari's wedding. We both focused in our work and we only were really together as a family when matters related to Miyu came along, but apart from that we lived separated lives more than ever. Sasuke even started to sleep in the guests' room and after the first night when I had noticed it and I had been quite surprised and somehow saddened in a bittersweet way, I had to say that in some sort of strange way I thanked for it. He was careful enough to hide the fact from our little daughter who didn't notice that we weren't sleeping in the same room anymore and I didn't say anything to him not wanting to dwell again in the same old hurting thing. The first night it had taken me a long moment to really fall sleep as I laid there on our former big and comfy bed resting on my side and facing his empty spot with nostalgia. I had gotten used to have him there even if he was very far away from me and I missed his presence even if he didn't care about mine. Since we had left Konoha behind and we were traveling back to Suna, I had noticed Sasuke's sulky, distracted and indifferent mood, more than ever he was like the Prince of Ice I had meet a long time ago. He wasn't rude with me or anyone else particularly, at least to the ones like me who knew him truly, but maybe for others outside it he was cold and rude. I didn't say anything to him or try to meddle in how he was dealing with our stranded, weird and tense relationship, he had his own way just like I had mine but that didn't mean that the pain wasn't there. It took me time and will to get used to the idea of not having him here with me on nighttime as before and to give him the chance to live our married life as he felt it the best. Like I had felt before, I couldn't deny that a part of me thanked him for his somehow strange courteous way of not trying to hurt me anymore, if I can consider his actions like that, because every time I remembered that short caress and lost kiss I had to suppress my urge to smack myself and not scream in despair and anger for my decision. I knew I had taken the good one but my heart didn't leave it in peace, and in times of weakness I felt fragile about it and I longed for his close company even if we didn't touch in fact. Along with working like crazy and keeping my home clean and good and my daughter happy and unaware of our problems, I found myself sighing deeply lost in thought whenever I was too long lonely. I called it _my melancholic moments _and I didn't dwell in them and in fact I chuckled amused at the irony of my good humor about it. I was proud of myself for not crying and taking everything in calmly and resigned, and with the pass of days somehow I found a new peace and bittersweet happiness with my life. I was proud of Sasuke's achievements and his dedicated life to his mission as a shinobi, I admired him in that part of his life and I was truly happy for him when he received recognition from it, especially because he didn't neglect Miyu for it, he always found time to be with her and be his father. I couldn't complain about him as a good provider and a good father, even when I had wanted the complete package Sasuke Uchiha was. He respected my job and put attention to my things related to it, and I thanked that because somehow I knew he was sincere and wasn't pretending just to compromise to his wife. We didn't spend the same time we used to before our journey to Konoha and our talk, but we somehow were aware of the other. The only thing that concerned me was the times when I had caught him staring strangely at Miyu, with some expression I couldn't unravel and when I had caught him spacing out so deep in his inner world that he didn't notice me watching him. I knew he wasn't hallucinating, thank God, but the essence of the moment worried me. Anyway my job kept me hardly busy and soon I knew that my job here was going to end. Days and days passed by, nights and nights passed by, and sooner that I had guessed and expected three more months had gone for us living here in Suna and the moment waited for me to decide what to do next was quickly coming. Surely Sasuke was calmer and maybe happier here than in Konoha, I wasn't very sure about the last part, but he was honestly calmer and that eased me.

But even with that I couldn't picture myself living away from my birthplace, from my beloved Konoha and the family and friends I had there. I felt torn trying to decide the best for my little family and I knew that I had to sacrifice if it was needed for Sasuke and Miyu's happiness. Maybe Sunagakure wasn't in fact my own village but I had a happy life here even if it wasn't Konoha and this one wasn't in fact very far away from here. Could I stay here permanently just to have Sasuke so calm and relaxed? Could our coming back to our village affect him so much even to worsen his situation again? Were we protected from the Council's impending plans and distrust for Sasuke? Could their dislike for him reach us here? I was sighing tiredly and thoughtfully washing the dishes totally by myself in the kitchen and staring outside by the opened window when I heard someone coming in. I had had the afternoon free and Miyu was at one of her little friends' house joining a tea party. I felt worse when she wasn't around distracting me from my endless daily musings. Today it was the most important, my job here was almost ended and if we had to go back to Konoha we had just a couple of days left to spend here and prepare everything to our journey. I was looking forward to watch Temari pregnant, after all, she was approximately in her eighth month and she hadn't come back since her wedding to Suna due to her state and her siblings' concern. I smiled happily trying to imagine her right now and remembering my own old memory of that time with Miyu that I fairly put attention when someone came in with soft but steady pace. Even if it was Sasuke I had grown to not get startled and jumpy at his presence anymore, to not be nervous or feeling like the dumb girl in love I was. I had tried so hard to act normally about it, even maybe a little coldly, because I couldn't let him reach me and burn a hole through my heart again with any tiny detail his presence or actions could give away. My heart still beat up like a drum and I felt my stomach losing gravity in a good way and my breathing almost became pure deep sighs of love, but I had learned to hide all that or at least disguise it with the things I could use from the surrounding like it was now the mere kitchen and the washing of the dishes. I turned slightly to find him sitting down at the table and I looked calm and glad at him in a normal way, like a normal welcoming between us. I didn't let my eyes linger on him and I returned to my activity that it was almost done. Sasuke remained there quiet and motionless and staring at the space like if he had something very important to think about and I didn't hear him getting up for a very long moment that I took finishing my chores. It was weird how it wasn't exactly tense the atmosphere between us anymore but it wasn't totally peaceful either, it was difficult to explain how I felt when I was restraining the turmoil of feelings he stirred deep within me and how I wanted to play normal in this daily act, and it was all that limiting me to really know and explain to myself how I felt. Probably I didn't want to really know it like it was a very bad habit of mine. I suspected why he was there and that it was concerning my almost finished work here and I couldn't help to wonder how he felt with it like I had been doing it. I waited a moment to start talking about something we needed to discuss anyway as the married couple we were, and I tried to really find the right words and the final decision that it could came from our conversation even if it was one-sided. I took a deep breathe and I stopped my actions when a few dishes were left to be washed and dried.

"Do you want to go back to Konoha?" I simply started not seeing the point in beating around the bushes. What was the difference? I knew that he liked better to be told the things straight and right away. "My job here is almost finished. We need to take a decision." I paused for a long moment till I finished my chores at the kitchen and then I turned around staring calmly at him and trying to read his thoughts and feelings somehow in his always serious expression. He wasn't looking at me then but I knew he was thinking hard in what I was trying to say behind the lines. Did he want to stay here or go back to our village? "You're calmer here." I said suddenly and shyly and he immediately averted his onyx eyes to lock them on me. I felt a shiver running through my spine due to the intensity of his look but I controlled myself when I noticed his surprise for my observation. He disguised it immediately with his permanent calm and collected personality but I had clearly seen it. Was he really surprised to know that I observed him? "I don't really understand it and I'm not complaining or reclaiming anything." I added resting my tired body on the sink behind me where a few dishes were expecting me to be washed. "We had had a very good time here, don't we?" I smiled recognizing it was the truth. "But the dateline for us to decide is coming to an end and I wonder what you think and feel about it. And I know that you had been calmer and probably happier here than in Konoha and we are a family and we have to take all our decisions together." I knew what I had sad the last. I didn't want him to know how obvious (more than he surely knew) was for me his well being and how much I cared for him even to sacrifice, so I had played the _family card _even when it was right at the end my mentioning about it. "So, are we going back to Konoha?"

I waited in silence for a long moment staring into those black pools for eyes of him with calm and expectation, but Sasuke didn't react in any way and he didn't give me any answer in any way either. I wondered concerned what he was thinking and why it was taking him so much to give me his last words about it, but when I didn't receive anything from him and he seemed to be lost in his inner thoughts I supposed that his answer had been the one I had been expecting all the time: He didn't want to go back.

"Alright." I said kind and understanding despite the nostalgic I felt for our future from here on staying in a village that wasn't our own but trying to analyze everything that had made him take such a decision. I knew him since he was little as me, I knew part of his life and I could perfectly try to understand his denial to go back to a village where surely he didn't feel totally welcomed and at ease. And I was worried that if I forced him to return to Konoha his rare illness could worsen when he had finally seemed to have it under control. I wasn't going to risk all that only because I felt melancholic. "Then I'll talk with Gaara-san to ask him for a permanent position in the medical squad."

I smiled not feeling fully saddened because I liked my life here and I felt that things could work out better in some ways that Konoha couldn't do. That was another truth I couldn't deny to myself. Here we didn't have the same pressure we had there and the stress wasn't going to affect me as much as it had done it in my village. I contented myself noticing the advantages and good things that could come from this decision and I felt glad realizing that everything could work out. Probably one day we would be able to go back to Konoha when the situation was better, because something I had learned was that the future wasn't set on stone and my own life was a living proof. I turned around to finish washing the dishes calmer than before not feeling the pressure to talk about this with Sasuke anymore, the decision was taken and I didn't have to worry about that and I could go on with the next part of my life. I heard Sasuke getting up from his seat in his elegant quietness and then I heard his soft and graceful pace going towards the living room of our comfy and silent home. I was musing about what job I could perform here and imaging Naruto's reaction about our permanent staying in Suna and I couldn't help to chuckle picturing his face in my mind. Surely he was going to make a fuss about it. My mother was going to be very sad and that concerned and touched me. I sighed deeply trying to organize the things that were going to happen when everyone knew about our final decision of not going back to Konoha as possible consequences. Would they be supportive? Probably my father was going to be the only one happy for it.

"We should go back."

The words and the voice who said them startled me immediately. I stopped washing the last piece of porcelain and my body stiffened after it had flinched by the unexpected event. Even when I hadn't heard that voice since a long time ago I knew perfectly to whom it belonged and I was petrified wondering if I hadn't imagined the entire whole thing. I couldn't dare to turn around to see if he was still there or if I was hallucinating, I remained tense and motionless with big eyes and opened mouth for seconds that seemed ages wondering afraid and amazed if I had heard what I had heard. The tears pricked at the corner of my eyes against my own will. I had waited for so long and so longingly for him to say something, more to say it to me, I had hoped so much for it, I had dreamed it, and now he was here and he had said something to me and I couldn't move fearing that I could dispel the enchantment of the moment with a single reaction of me or a single damn tear that wasn't following my mental order and was rebelling against me in alliance with my leaping heart. I had to stifle a strangled sob fighting to get out through my burning throat and I knew I had to force myself to turn around and face Sasuke and confirm the truth. I wanted so badly to ask him so many things and my mind was being rolled over by the multiple questions trying to form words with my voice. I listened to myself babbling just in time when I was ready to turn around after I almost dropped the washed dish and I had set it on its place with shaky movements.

"We should go back."

He repeated again and I couldn't help to flinch again listening to the sound of his beautiful voice again. I knew then that I hadn't been imaging and then the analytic part of my brain processed the fact that he had repeated the same words for some reason. Then I thought that probably he thought that I hadn't heard him and that was why I hadn't reacted in any way and I was like a freaking frozen statue standing there without facing him. I needed to force myself to get out from my paralyzed state and see him, I needed to say something, to say anything, to show him that I had listened to him and that I had registered the fact and that it was huge to me, and everything was so big and so complicated because I didn't want to throw myself over him rejoicing in the happiness I felt that I couldn't really start to decide which was the better response to it, no, I couldn't throw myself to his arms after our talk, and I couldn't go back there, but I was so relieved, so happy, so hopeful, and he was surely thinking that I was deaf or angry or possibly I was just the same old stupid girl he had known all his life. Sasuke was there and he had spoken finally after being silent for so much time and I felt such a peace that the tears burned my eyes once again stronger and I had to breathe deep still inwardly trembling and bracing myself. I couldn't wait any longer and I turned just in time when he was staring at me from the doorframe and was talking again leaving me speechless and in the verge of tears of happiness and realizing how much I had longed to listen to his velvety voice, especially talking to me, just me, and my wish had been granted and I felt blessed for the first time in a very long while.

"We should go back to Konoha."

He said for the third time and I knew that his talking didn't mean a thing for him, he wasn't really showing any sign of being surprised or glad for being able to talk again, and then I knew that if he was acting normally and like if nothing special was happening right and then in that kitchen was because he had always known it. He had always known that he could speak and that he wasn't mute forever as most people thought, including me. The mere idea shook me inwardly and I surely was now facing him still dazzled from the amazement of watching him speaking to me and trapped in the thoughts that came from it. Probably he thought I was the same stupid girl he knew, standing there speechless and watching him like if he was an alien or something of the sort, but insightfully I was processing that fact. Sasuke was very aware that he could talk if he wanted even if I wasn't sure if it had been for a very long time or lately. Strangely enough I felt both relief and anger, I felt the relief of knowing that he hadn't lost his voice forever like all of us feared and I felt the anger too, an anger rising inside me for him not giving us a damn freaking clue about this important discovery. Did he really felt so little for us to not lifting from our shoulders the concern and sorrow we felt for his particular lack of voice? I was fighting the desire to run to him and just shook him or scream at him for it, I was hardly trying to really convey the turmoil of thoughts and feelings I was living in the moment because sincerely this action of him was huge and the thing bothering me and preventing me to jump in happiness and joy was that nagging little thing of him of acting like if nothing was happening even when he could see clearly how much affected I was to hear him speaking so good. I felt the forming of a frowning and I tried to stay calm and be just glad for it and to try to understand and ask him the reason that was exploding inside my head.

"There's nothing here for us." Sasuke added like if yesterday he hadn't been mute and the day before and all this time in fact. The anger battled against my relief and happiness as I shook still marveled and enchanted for hearing him talking to me, watching me. Inwardly I could hear myself screaming things that naturally deserved and explanation but I remained quiet like an idiot staring at him still in awe. "We don't need to stay any longer. Your plans must go on. Prepare everything to go back to Konoha."

Sasuke folded his arms across his chest and lowered finally his hypnotizing black stare. He wasn't looking angered or demanding, he seemed to be more like thinking deeply in something as he rested his back on the wall and he was just his serious self, calm and collected. I didn't know if he was ignoring me or he had forgotten I was there or if I was so a little thing that he didn't think in me there. Right then my anger, relief, happiness and shock were dancing in a dangerous waltz and I had to take a deep breathe and left behind the fact that he had talked. Sasuke had _said _something at last. But now my mind was saying other kind of stuff, like _WHAT THE HELL? COULDN'T HE SAY "PLEASE"?_ For crying out loud! How could he act like this? How could he not notice how this little one sided conversation still had affected me? How he couldn't know that I was there waiting for an explanation like a normal person would do? I frowned deeper now getting rid finally of the amazement and still feeling the happiness and the relief, but more strongly the anger and shock. How could he not guess what I was feeling and thinking now, not even if I wasn't in love with him, just for his particular _little surprise_?

I had lost my watching over him listening to all this inside my soul that when I was aware of it and I focused my eyes on him again I flinched watching him staring back at me again with a strange expression and a new sense of tiredness written all over his pale beautiful face. I pondered about his strange expression after I controlled the flinch a little ashamed of myself. Was I seeing there mockery or expectation? _That's enough_, I told to myself breathing deeply and narrowing my eyes set on him. He wasn't going to get out of this just like he had done it several times in the past, no Sir, I needed to know, I needed an explanation, I needed to know what that little expression of his meant, so I braced myself and still with the happiness and relief flowing through blood inside my veins I walked straight to him and I set myself in front o him and some things occurred then. First of all, I wondered why he hadn't left me there after he had said what he wanted to say like the old guy Sasuke would do. Why he hadn't move when I came over? Then I noticed that I had lost my strength and bravery with every single damn step I took from my previous spot to here and now I was startled by my weakness confronting him. Was my anger and shook stronger than my happiness and relief? Should they be stronger? I opened my mouth to say what I wanted to say then but I closed it after my eyes locked with his and I was swollen by his cold serenity and powerful stance. He dropped his arms to his sides and remained there in front of me looking in my direction like if he was waiting for something. I was so messed up with myself that I didn't get what it could be till he blinked and closed his eyes for a couple of minutes before setting them on my face once more.

"Now the mute one is other I guess."

_That was plain mockery and he perfectly knows it_, I told myself inwardly and reddening in shame. I noticed another slight change in his face but I didn't care right now enough to really analyze it. I put my hands on my waist in a defiant and strong posture (according to me) and I glared at him with an expression that spoke of my longingly feeling and the truth despite all that I had in my mind and heart. I was sincerely and fully happy for this.

"I don't remember you being the quiet type, Sakura."

_Sakura_. He had said my name and I felt like melting with every sound of every letter coming out from his velvety voice and pronounced by his wanted lips and when I could get out from that spell I was startled by his commentary and I knew then that he was _teasing _me. Somehow despite his lips being in a tight line I could see the glimpse of a smirk there and I don't know how but I could see it. For a moment I felt worse when I thought that it was better when he was mute because I felt more vulnerable now that he was speaking and _having a conversation _with me, I felt weaker and fragile especially if he was having the upper hand and was teasing me with that little secret smirk of his. _I'm a bad person; I had to be it if I felt better when he couldn't speak because I didn't feel like a prey then. _I blinked feeling my face warming and surely blushing but I narrowed my eyes and I wore a furrowed deep brow. Sasuke cocked an elegant eyebrow with gracefulness that I don't know how the hell he had gotten; probably he had been born with it. For a moment I thought in playing his game and acting naturally about it, ignoring the fact that he had spoken after a long time and that we all had guessed he was mute forever, but then I knew that it wasn't who I am and the playful part of me thought that he was expecting that. I couldn't help to smirk inwardly feeling both happy and surprised by the little moment we were having. Somehow it felt like a normal thing a couple would do, and the mere significance of it saddened me profoundly and kept hidden behind my serious mask for face that I had set on for him.

"How can you speak? For how long you have been able to do it? Why you didn't say anything?"

All my anger and shook evaporated as I spoke and the hurt I felt for the questioning was the only thing left inside me. Couldn't he see that we all were worried about him? How he couldn't see it? Why he couldn't see it? Sasuke narrowed his eyes and for the first time it seemed he had lost track of the moment and he was now the startled. He stared at me quiet for a long moment as my face couldn't hide the relief and happiness I felt, but the hurt was plenty written all over it. When he didn't say anything and just looked at me I felt the anger returning again and I took reaction at it shocking him by the arms glaring serious at his onyx eyes.

"Explain it!" I cried out with despair. I felt my eyes burning and watering but I controlled their urge to spill the damn freaking tears. "Don't you know how concerned we all had been? Do you know how much we all prayed for you to regain your health, your voice? Can you see it?" I paused noticing that I had grabbed him a little stronger than I had guessed and I lessened my grip till I dropped my arms and embraced myself lowering my jade blurred eyes. Maybe I could look like I had weakened somehow but I still held strength within or so I hoped it. "I'm sorry. It's just that I'm so relieved and surprised for it."

I said finally after calming down and taking a deep breath, lifting my face to meet his once more. He hadn't move till then and somehow I felt guilty for my outburst. When I should have acted gladly for this impressing discovery I had attacked him. Was I being now softer? Was I always going to be weak when he was around and would I not act in the right way? I blinked away the annoying tears and I felt at least proud because they hadn't spilled like I had hardly tried to do. We didn't look at the other for a long silent moment and I was aware then of our closeness that minutes ago seemed an advantage due to my fighting mood, but right now it was the other way around. We were mere inches away from the other and strangely enough it didn't feel awkward like other times. I didn't know if it was because we had talked about it and we had taken our own way to deal with the nearness that came along with our pretending marriage or if it was because we had had one of those moments that I treasured with all my heart and were so simple and few that I didn't really care what the answer was. The fact that moments like that could happen between us despite all helped that part of me where hope lingered and I didn't want that because I had been living in the reality since days and nights ago and I knew it was for the best, but the heart wanted what it wanted and I couldn't deny the existence of that possibility to my praying soul.

My musings were stopped when I looked up and met his face and I noticed again a little change in his expression and now I put attention to it. He had shut his eyes and squeezed them and I read from his face that he wasn't feeling good and in fact he was feeling some sort of pain. His body was stiff and tense and his seriousness had grown scales from the common. Immediately my body responded to his suffering and my medic mind started working, and soon I found my arms grabbing his again but this time with softness and carefulness. I frowned worried, confused and focused noticing his paler face and the black ring surrounding his eyes, now more than ever when he had them tight closed.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?"

I asked deeply concerned and sorrowful and when he used me to support himself I knew that it was worse than I had thought. The medic nin in me forced me to act with calm and coldness even when my soul was tearing apart to watch him like this and I helped him to get to the chair where he had been previously sitting and I left him resting there as I hurried myself to get him a glass of water. Sasuke remained sitting there with troubled and pained expression. I watched him by the corner of my eyes trying to hide my intense preoccupation and fear for the worse just when he had turned his attention and tired glance to me. I trembled within just watching him focused in me.

"Sakura…" He said my name again and my eyes burned harder this time. "Sakura… it's ok…" He repeated my name and every time he did it, it affected me a lot more and my world trembled but I forced myself to be strong and concentrate in the matter at hand and I held the glass of water in my slightly shaking hands looking heartbroken and worriedly at him. "Don't…"

I approached him and put the glass of water in his hands noticing he couldn't talk and I sat down beside him as I watched how he drank a little from it and then he set it on the table with his hands around the crystal glass. He had drunk it just the half. He seemed to want to talk again but he was clearly unable to do so, I saw it in how he coughed and how he closed his eyes tightly, in how much it was showed in his face that he was hurting right now. I wondered why he hadn't taken the rest of the water, I wondered why I hadn't gotten up and bring more for him to drink, I wondered about the words he had said minutes ago and what they meant, and it was then that the thought crossed my mind and I blinked confused, intrigued and still concerned watching him with my soul in pieces. What he had wanted to say? Why he wouldn't say that he could talk now? My eyes watered again against my will imagining theories until I was spacing out so much that I didn't notice when he softly had put a hand on top of mine that were nervously entangled lying on the table, ready to go in his aim if he needed them. I was surprised for this gesture and I flinched and blinked thanking the last to erase my stupid need to cry in despair and I looked for his eyes and I found them staring directly at me. Sasuke seemed a little better and was calmly and seriously staring at me but the pain was still there at the back of his black beautiful eyes.

"It's ok, Sakura." He said again and I felt a shiver running through my spine and not only because of what he said and how it affected me, but for the truth behind the line he had used. "Don't overwork yourself."

I noticed again the little grimace worn by his face after he had talked to me and my mind started to light up and I didn't like it where it was heading. I took the hand he wasn't touching to my face and covered my mouth deep in thought and trying to not cry like I had been trying since this conversation had started. Could it be…?

"You wanted an explanation." Sasuke paused with soft and affected voice. "I couldn't talk before, for a very long time, till I started to get better with Tsunade-sama's treatment." He retrieved his hand after he had noticed he had my attention and I missed the touch of his skin with mine. Anyway I sucked it up listening to him and praying for not be what I thought it was. "I could talk again from some weeks till now… but it's useless anyway."

Sasuke started to cough again and he closed his eyes tightly and his hands went to the sides of his face like if he had a very really bad headache. I could see the pain he was feeling and I panicked when I started to see the trial of blood coming out of his nose and the shaking his body showed. Some drops fell to the table as I watched wide eyed and speechless totally shocked and worried.

"Can you see it?" Sasuke said softly with hoarse voice opening his eyes and watching me behind the black bangs of his hair falling on his face. He was hunched over the table still grabbing his head with calm and collected behavior. My throat burned and hurt and my eyes really had a very bad time controlling the unshed tears trying to fall apart. "I don't do it because it's useless…" Sasuke trailed off and he averted his eyes and I took advantage of it blinking quickly the tears away before he locked his gaze with me again. "It's the same… it's provoking the same…"

He shook stronger this time and the blood still came out and the pain increased in him and I could see all of it and I was being destroyed by it. I knew then why he hadn't said anything about him being able to talk, why he had kept it secret and why he hadn't wanted to tell it to me or the others. Even if he could talk now thanks to the treatment he couldn't in fact do it without suffering some sort of consequence, and this one seemed to be like the one I feared the most of all his symptoms, even above his hallucinations. _It was provoking him a seizure _and I could see it happening now in front of my burning and filled with tears eyes and it was killing me as it was hurting him so much. I had to stifle the sobbing I sensed that wanted to get out from my throat and I took my hand to my mouth covering and breathing deeply and closing my eyes for just a second. I felt the tears falling finally but right now I couldn't care less. I didn't burst into tears at least and these tears were calm and totally and more truly sadder than a really crying, and the recognition told me why I felt so much sorrowful, concerned and aching than if it had been the other way around_. I felt the resignation he felt_. I tried to calm myself and I was glad that at least Sasuke wasn't looking my way too busy dealing with his own suffering and pain. I frowned decided watching him silently fighting that mysterious and silent sickness he had, and I took one of his hands again not minding what we had _talked_ back at Konoha or what it could meant to me or to him this simple action, that didn't matter right now when something so much bigger and more important stood in the way. He reacted immediately turning to me with his eyes now opened and looking glassy and exhausted. He had pulled out a handkerchief and had it in his other hand against his face, covering his nose. I didn't want him to speak again, because just like I had witnessed and had analyzed he seemed to get worse if he talked more, and I guessed that a long and clear conversation could endanger his health. I ached just picturing that terrifying scenario.

"Talking provokes you a seizure, I can tell that." I started trying to control the tremor in my voice and the despair and pain I felt showed in my eyes. "I can do something to fix it, I can try to help you, to heal you, when we return to Konoha I can work with Tsunade-sama and Shizune and Ino and we can find some way for you to talk without suffering a seizure, please, let me help you, I'm sure we all can"

"No." He cut in interrupting me and I watched him surprised and startled by his response. I looked at him ignoring the tears now dried on my face and I squeezed his hand that was between mine in a supporting way. Why? Why he didn't want me to do something? I was about to ask totally confused, intrigued and even angered born from despair than from really anger when he freed his hand from mine and he quieted me putting his index finger on my lips, in a clear signal to silence myself. I couldn't help to blush and feel the electric wave he sent always to me through simple and mere physical contact, but the worry, pain and sadness I felt won over them and I watched him with big and teary eyes and clearly confused expression. He stared at me for a moment in silence and I knew he was gathering strength to talk again. I wanted to tell him, even scream to him to not do it if it hurt him but he won me again. "There's nothing to do. Do you thing I hadn't tried to fix it? You can check me up if you want, but you'll realize I'm saying the truth. There's not need for that." Was he thinking in me not getting hurt if I saw it for myself? "But it's ok." He added coughing again and grimacing in visible pain and my heart went to him. "It's ok." I knew what he was trying to tell me. He was fine with his situation of not being able to talk ever again to avoid this terrible thing that was happening to him. I knew from watching him that he was expecting me to really understand what he had said and I, despite what I was, a medic nin, and who I was, the one in love with him, nodded as I closed my eyes and more tears fell rolling down my face, quiet tears. I didn't feel the pressure of his finger against my lips anymore and when I opened my eyes I looked at him still pained and saddened to my heart of hearts. Could I really not do something for him? "Don't stress yourself for something that it will never be fixable. It's fine."

He coughed again into the handkerchief he was holding against his face and grimaced in plain pain and the tears increased in my eyes but I controlled myself and I breathed deeper like I had been doing it for a long moment to ease myself and it was my time to silence him. Now it was my finger that was on his lips quieting him and he stared at me a little surprised and with those profound and intense black orbs of his with calm I couldn't really measure. I had dared to do that not really thinking it and I fought back the nervousness and shame I felt for touching him even like this. But the truth was that we were partners in some way and we needed to deal somehow with it despite my feelings for him.

"I don't want to see you in pain like this. If you cannot talk then don't do it." I said feeling anger towards whatever or whoever caused this in him. "I don't need it. I hadn't needed it all this time." I smiled softly and sadly. Anyway I wasn't going to let this go so easily, I was a freaking medic nin! I needed to try something! I got back my hand slowly and shyly and I clutched it against my chest trying to not feel blushed for what I had done and I took a deep breath to calm me down before saying what it was left to say. "Let's go back home."


	24. Snapping

Hello to all of you who are there still waiting patiently for me to come back! I'll say that I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark for so long and waiting for an update, I'm deeply sorry, and I won't promise to you again that I won't take long to update the next chapter because I would feel worse, really, so I'll just say that I'll update as soon as I can and that this story will have an ending. That I could assure you .

Thank you, really, thank you from the bottom of my heart for remembering me and this little story of mine. I can't pay you for that and only keep writing till the end.

So let's go on with the reviews, and I thank all of you who read the chapters, and/or review them, thanks a lot, you don't have idea what it means to me. And again, before going on with the chapter that I hope you like even a little bit, I'm sorry for the long delay and I'll try to shorten it.

**Modo-chan:** Hello! I'm sorry for the long wait, and don't worry, I don't mind you harassing me, in fact it helps me, believe me, you don't annoy me or alarm me either, I'm sorry for your despair, this time it really lasted long, sorry about that, and I hope it will be worthy at the end for you. I'll finish it, don't worry, I'll do it, and I'm sorry for not giving you a sign but I didn't want to give you false hope till the chapter was finished. I know for my own experience that it's difficult to be in the dark. And don't worry for saying all this, at the contrary, thank you and don't worry, the story will come to an end.

Thank you for your PM. It really made my day the time when I read it. Thank you sincerely for your honest and kind words towards this little story, sorry for making you to neglect your sleep and turn you into a zombie, I'm really sorry, but I'm very happy that it was worthy to you. Achieving those emotions and reactions out of you it's my best reward because I know that I'm doing something good. Probably it would be better if English was my first language and if I had more time, and I know it's not perfect but I have really fighting for it. You're not weird, believe me. I know the idea is a classic one and very common here in the fanfiction, and when I started it I've never dreamt in being here where I am now, I've never thought that so many ideas would come out of my brain to incorporate them into the first idea. I didn't think anyone would really be interested in reading it and following it much less. Thank you. I agree with you about motherhood and fatherhood. Thank you about your perspective of Sasuke in this one topic. I'm glad I made you be angry with him, really, that means I'm doing a good job here, he's one of my favorite ones too. I'm really looking forward to your opinion and reaction towards the last chapter. Your words would be reflected more than once. I haven't read "Letter of an unknown woman" but I'll try to find it and read it somehow. I'm sorry about the grammatical mistakes! I'll try to make it better; I try to read other works of many kinds to learn more words, narration and phrases to improve my writing. I always had a thing about long chapters. I don't know why but I love them. Sometimes I'm worried about how I'm going to end it and when I reach the end then I have to shorten the idea to not go beyond the limit, because I don't want to bore all of you or make it complicated for all of you. It's weird how this story doesn't have a lot of talking, but I'm glad you like it. I started to diverse the POV among the characters when Sakura wasn't close to Sasuke and to keep the story centered on their situation, but then I like to do it from time to time when I thought it was right and reasonable. Soon all of you will know what happened to Sasuke and some more things till the end. I'm glad that you cannot pinpoint what his real feelings are, that means again, that I did a good job on that ;). Thank you for your words, they really got a smile out of me!

**xvelvett**: Yeah, he spoke again but for a short time. I think you better know than me how he's feeling, ha, ha, I'll update soon, don't worry and thank you!

**sonia**: Don't forget about me! Ha, ha, just kidding, I won't take this long to update again, I'm deeply sorry, I'll even start writing the next chapter as soon as I update this one. We'll know what Sasuke is thinking one fine day, or I hope so, I'm kidding again, Sasuke POV it will take a while to appear but it will come somehow. Thank you!

**hikari98**: I'm glad you liked the chapter. With so many weddings my brain is wasting! Yeah, I liked Gaara in this one, in fact I like him too, and he's my second favorite character from Naruto. I'm glad it was interesting. I don't know what you'll think about this chapter but I hope you'll like it too. About siblings, I still don't know yet but let's have hope. I think like you, that it would be better when they're in a better place in their life and relationship but who knows. About Sakura's dad, you're the first one to ask me about him. Yeah, there's something about him later in another chapter. Keep disturbing me, please! Thank you! I'm glad that was a nice twist, him talking, Itachi is dead, sorry, I loved him too, I'm happy that you liked the end of the chapter; let's see what you think of this one ;).

**AVAuchiha**: Thank you for loving me! He, he, and for calling my chapters glorious and I'm sorry for making it so hard for you to have your wish. Sakura is trying hard but I think you're right; it's not good for her to keep herself from crying. It's was deliberate of me to not let Sasuke say something meaningful, ho, ho, and I'm sorry for that. Yes, your feeling is right. I'll update quicker, I'll try it, and thank you! And with this one out, four more chapters, looooong chapters, to the story to end!

**sasusaku**: Thank you! The suffering is still out there, sorry, ho, ho, and I hope you can have your curiosity satisfied! The Council is still out there too, the fact that they hadn't appeared till now doesn't mean they're totally at peace. He, he, don't be scared, but yeah, they'll do some nasty things still to our tormented couple!

**Crunch Berry Baroness**: I'm sorry you cleaned out you box of Kleenex! I hope you like this one too. I'm very glad for your nice words and that I can move you. Thank you for your good wishes and my luck started to look up, thanks for saying that! I'm sorry for the chunky paragraphs! Sometimes I start to write and I can't cut it! I'll try to fix it, I assure you ;).

**Ladyrouge214**: I won't leave the story! Thank you for your support!

**kmixan**: Thanks to you for waiting and reading and reviewing!

**C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only**: I'm sorry for making you cry! I hope you like this chapter! Thank you!

**Massu Chan**: I'm so happy that you liked it and considered that way. Thank you! Sasuke's torture won't end yet, sorry! Let's have hope for a brighter future for them! I want more Uchiha babies too! Let's see what I can do, ho, ho. Thank you for considering the story that way, lots of love to you too.

If I forgot someone, please forgive me! Next time it will be your turn .

**Chapter 24**

**Snapping**

_Sakura POV_

Our return to Konoha was a truly delight to everyone who cherished us there. After Sasuke and I had had that short and unexpected conversation we had gotten everything ready the next day and the day after that we had started our journey back to our village early morning. Gaara and Kankurou offered us a nice dinner the night before our parting and we spent a very enjoyable time with them. The both were frankly happy and anxious about Temari's delivery and the huge fact of being soon uncles of the unborn son of the Nara clan. I was looking forward to be in Konoha before Temari's baby was born and to experience the whole experience from the point of view of an outsider. I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl and I knew how the things were and somehow I was glad that the two Suna siblings asked me questions about it. I had the experience about it because of Miyu and I was more than happy to ease their uncertainty (Kankurou's one the most) and to be there to help Temari as the medic nin I was. The other big reason I wanted to go back to Konoha besides my natural desire to be living in my own village together with my family and friends was to restart again my investigation of Sasuke's mysterious illness. I knew what he had asked of me, to stay aside and let it be, but I couldn't simply do it. As a medic nin I couldn't just give up so easily without trying to do something for him as my patient, as the mother of his child and his wife, the woman who had loved him for so long time, it was much important to me to try harder. I wasn't going to let him know it, I knew Sasuke and if he had said what he had said, if he had asked what he had asked of me, there wasn't chance for a change of his mind. I wondered sad, concerned and confused why he was so sure about the possibility of not recovering his voice ever, and what he had been doing, what he had been researching, to drive him to that conclusion so final. My mind sometimes took me to wonder if his runaways from Konoha and the days and nights he was on a mission here in Suna weren't part of his own investigation to somehow find a way to heal himself. I couldn't help to feel proud of being his wife knowing that he hadn't been so resigned and hadn't given up like maybe not only me had thought, Sasuke had been in fact trying to do something for him, and something within me told me that he had been mainly doing it for Miyu. Surely he wanted to be in one piece, healed and strong as he was once for her, to protect her, to teach her, to educate her and love her in all his senses and health. That thought only warmed me and made me smile inwardly and I couldn't really believe when I looked back at the beginning of her story how everything had been. Sasuke had really grown up in his role as a father and I was content and proud of that. I had to confess that I hadn't really thought it possible back then when I was so hurt and angry for his behavior towards my pregnancy of Miyu.

After I had talked with him briefly that afternoon I really regretted not asking more questions that were unanswered and increased my curiosity and confusion. I wanted so badly to have a long chat with him about his motives for some actions he had done and for some words he had said, but I couldn't endanger his health just because of my need of knowledge. I trusted in the chance of finding some way to heal him enough to one day have that long conversation when I wasn't going to let it go so easily and I was going to force him to spit out some truth. Then I wondered if I really wanted to know and if it was really important now to know the answers. I asked myself if it could do good or wrong, or if it could speed up the feelings and things that I had been seeing within me since Temari and Shikamaru had been engaged. What if I didn't like the answers? What if it just forced us apart? What if I couldn't handle the truth even if it was somehow what I had expected? I tried to be strong and force myself to be brave enough to know the whole truth about Sasuke in this little story we had been living since that moment when I had slept with him the first time and I had gotten pregnant because it was the right thing to do. Was it right to stay in the pretense and lies? Was it good for me to not hear him say what I knew he would surely say? _Guessing is one thing, but hearing it is a different one._ But right now I couldn't let myself be drawn to that inner and deeper world of mine where all my insecurities, fear and sadness dwell. I had plans ahead and I had things to do, I couldn't be the same old weak I had been trying to not be since time ago. I couldn't let myself be trapped in the same old turmoil of feelings regarding Sasuke as always because right now there were more important things to do, like trying to find a cure to his weird sickness and help him recover his past glory just because I as a medic nin was very sure that something must be out there as a solution and as the woman in love I was because I didn't want to see him suffer anymore. And there was me as the mother of his child, because I wanted him to be in his finest for Miyu. So I focused in that and I let the other things to return to their hiding place inside my soul, heart and mind, there will come calmer times to ponder about that. Right now there were other matters at hand and I had to say that I wasn't strong enough yet to hear the sincerity speaking through Sasuke's lips. _Not yet, _I told myself, _but one day I will be it_.

That conversation brought a little change between us and I didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing. Our relationship as a married couple had gotten a little more courteous after he had distanced himself from me and me from him the last time. Even when we kept sleeping in different rooms and we didn't showed ourselves in romantic acts before Miyu or people who knew the truth about our marriage, like holding hands, kissing or hugging, there wasn't the cold and indifferent atmosphere that had been prying us before. He had his own life and world as before and I had mine, but there was something different about our relationship and I could sense it, it was like a silent partnership after he had shared with me his secret. I didn't force myself into him and he didn't do it to me either, and thankfully we respected our talk about not trying to have _those moments _that had confused me so much, like the time he had tried to kiss me at Temari's wedding. Was it better this way than before? Was it better to have him cold towards me and just caring about me because of what I was to him or it was better this way when he was just discrete with his things and he showed not only care but interest in me for what I was? I couldn't really decide. Our relationship always seemed to be shaking and changing and all the blame fell upon us. We both or one of us did something that changed how it was before and then the consequences came. Strangely enough I felt this time content with the consequences, Sasuke and I were a little more partners than strangers living in the same house despite the fact that we weren't a couple in love. He had shared something huge with me but he still kept his secrets and mystery to himself. He was somehow kind towards me showing care and interest and not being totally cold and indifferent, trying to be away on purpose from my presence like before. The weirdest and complicated thing was that I was drawn to him in a hypnotic way now once again, and that tiny part of me who hoped and believed still was trying to surface against my real and logic big part. I needed extra strength to no take this partnership as a futile clue of something that there wasn't going to happen ever. I was happy to share something with Sasuke and to be of some help to him even if he didn't know it, but I couldn't deny the fact that it saddened me too. Like always, everything regarding Sasuke was bittersweet.

Mother had gotten us a nice house that wasn't in fact big nearby the Hospital. Just about when we had arrived to Konoha she was waiting excited for us to take us there and showed it, my belongings and things were already there, our friends had gotten all them there and even when they weren't a lot now that they were placed in a bigger space it gave a comfy and nice home feeling. Suddenly I found myself able to dream about the future, picturing new things in places that were empty yet, thinking in buying belongings for our new house and decorating it, making it simply a comfortable and cute home like I had always wanted to have. It surprised me the way my mind had worked so quickly against my real heart and I had to suppress the sadness that was trying to work its magic within me once again. I shook off that unexpected train of thought and I focused in what I had for real in my life. We took a couple of days to settle down and decide what to do next, luckily for me I had already my job back at the hospital and Sasuke was more than welcomed to regain his status of capable ninja serving Konoha after the impressive work he had done in Suna and the recommendation the Kazekage in person offered about him. Either way Sasuke showed interest in gaining the title of Chunnin and later Jounin, something he hadn't gotten because he had left Konoha before time, and he started to prepare himself for it. That inevitably caused that he wasn't in home more often than he had been previously but I understood it and Miyu too. She was so proud of him in her own innocent and simple way and was ready to cheer up her dad when the time came. I divided my time and energy between my life at home and my life at work, trying to be the kind of housewife and mother I wanted to be and the medic nin I wanted to improve to. I kept hiding my investigation over Sasuke's condition, once Ino had caught me but now I needed to be more careful. I couldn't risk the trust Sasuke had put on me when he had shared with me his secret, so even when I wanted other opinions about his condition I wasn't going to put it a risk and probably damage our sort of relationship now. I wanted badly to share this with someone else, to tell someone how it troubled me and made me sad to wonder if he was right and there wasn't anything in the world for him to recover, if I wasn't enough to help him, and sometimes I wanted to break down and consult to Tsunade-sama, Shizune or Ino what I knew and what I was doing, but right now I simply couldn't do it. I thought in getting everyone's happy about the possibility when there wasn't exactly one, and I felt terrible just picturing their sadness over it. Probably Sasuke thought the same and that was why he hadn't said anything to anyone. But he had told _me _and in my heart of hearts I wondered why he had chosen me for it and why he had chosen that specific moment to tell. I wondered sorrowful and feeling awful if it wouldn't be better if I didn't know it either as our friends and family, at least I wouldn't feel so helpless and heartbroken and already defeated in advance. But I couldn't help to feel happy that at least Sasuke had _chosen _me for something as important as this and in the end the reason he could have had didn't matter. I had felt like a real wife with it, I couldn't deny it, and I had been surprised and shocked for it, but I wouldn't change it at all. Sasuke had talked _to me_. And that was all that mattered.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

The birth of the next Nara heir was a huge celebration among all of us. Kankurou, the blissful new uncle had come from Suna with the other new uncle Gaara when they had found out that Temari was in labor. She had been long hours in it and when they had arrived the baby had been already born but they hadn't broken the promise they had done to her at her wedding of coming to see her and their nephew when the time came. Shikamaru had been there with Temari almost all the long waiting till the baby was ready to be popped out. Little baby Shinta, as they had called him, was just hours old and he was already pampered and loved by a lot of uncles and aunts and grandparents, and my own daughter was so thrilled about having someone little (not as her but at least little) among the circle of adults that surrounded her here besides Asuma-chan. Back at Suna she had more friends and that was true but here she had more family and she understood it perfectly and was happy after few hours we had arrived at Konoha just as she was when we had arrived at Suna. Anyway I promised to myself to try to give her more than adults' company, she needed more friends of her age even if I wasn't really into the social life of the village because I was the wife of Sasuke Uchiha, of course, and she was his heiress. I couldn't believe it and I felt saddened and somehow angered by the fact that my daughter was somehow shunned from the social life of the children of Konoha due to her father and the gossiping that was still out there but at least Kurenai-sensei didn't mind anything at all and she let Asuma-chan to be her friend and share time and space with her. I knew that it was going to be the same with Shinta-chan when he was a little older and then if my friends got married eventually, she wasn't going to be totally by herself then. We only needed to wait. There was the other option of gaining friends and the trust and care of the children of the village and their parents when Sasuke and I decided to send her to school. For all that I wasn't really worried about her social life because I knew that sooner or later she was going to be cared and/or loved by other children and other people. She alone was going to achieve it; I knew it, because she was a very good kid. Probably she wasn't to be liked by all people because that was impossible but she was going to belong somehow. For now she had a lot of people who loved and cared for her besides us as her parents and she was just happy and healthy and that was all that counted at the end.

It was amazing how a new baby could remove a lot of deeper inner things, either if they were hidden or ignored. The good mood in our lives brought by baby Shinta and the overwhelming joy were so refreshing and contagious that I forgot for some hours all that I had to fix in my life or the things I needed to do. Temari had thanked all of us for being there to meet her firstborn and she had been smirking happily while Shikamaru stood besides her wearing a blissful grin. I had watched Sasuke by the corner of my emerald excited eyes and with a smile plastered on my face as the others' due to the moment we were having just there outside the white room of the new mom and beholding little Shinta in his proud dad's arms. Sasuke of course wasn't the type of person to simple smile but I had seen somehow that he was glad for the moment Shikamaru and Temari were living and I could see too the soft nostalgia that was waltzing in the deep of his beautiful black eyes. I wondered if he was relating it with Miyu's birth knowing that he wasn't there when it happened. Remembering it was strange to me, feeling a weird mix of sadness and happiness for the circumstances at that time. More than ever I knew that he regretted that part of the past of our combined life as Miyu's parents, I knew that he regretted all the time he had lost not being there with her. That saddened me a little but I was weirdly content knowing of it, noticing that he truly loved our daughter and felt bad and guilty for the way he had acted at first when he knew about her coming to this world. I barely could relate that Sasuke with this one in this particular matter and I was happy that they were different. I was happy knowing that I had done right letting him to be Miyu's father and leaving behind what he had said and done about it. I remembered myself thinking and saying that I wouldn't be ever able to forgive him for that in my daughter's behalf and I wasn't completely sure if I had really done it. His words and actions had hurt me badly and profoundly and it still bothered that pained and calmed part inside of my soul, but his actual true behavior had been healing it little by little.

Another good thing about Temari having a baby was that I wasn't the only one among our group of friends that was married and had a child. I loved my friends and I enjoyed their company a lot but being married and being a mother, housewife and a working mom weren't part of their lives yet, so there were things that I couldn't really share with them because they couldn't simply relate with them now. It wasn't that I couldn't count with them or confide in them some issues about it, but it was different from when I could count and confide in Temari now because she _understood _it better, after all she was living the experience as me. It wasn't either that I could tell everything to her because if I did surely her head would explode like mine seemed to want to do sometimes. I couldn't tell her how her marriage had opened my eyes, how the birth of her baby had remembered me painful and blissful moments, how I envied her for her true life as a married woman. I couldn't tell her or Shikamaru that Sasuke had trusted me with the secret about her muteness. But there were things I could tell to her and that was nice and I was grateful and I didn't feel so lonely in this married life as somehow I felt before and I had recognized it till now. I hadn't really recognized how my life and point of view of things had been changing since I had had a child and I had married Sasuke till Temari and Shikamaru were living the same thing. It was something surprising to realize finally and I didn't know if I should be happy for not doing it before or not. _Ignorance is bliss_, some people say. I had put always Miyu and then Miyu and Sasuke before me and my needs because that was what I wanted and I felt to do, but I hadn't really seen the whole picture of what big the role of a mother and a wife was in the life of the others. I had been living the moment just really like that, trying to survive and have the best time despite the situations that slapped me on the face. Now I knew I had a lot of path to walk as a mother and a wife and there were things that I had to think of, just like getting Miyu to really know other children and try to foresee my future as Sasuke's wife if he one day decided he wanted something else.

Being in the reunions and celebrations my friends held for baby Shinta or just to have fun and share time and anecdotes I had seen how life had go on here at Konoha while we were at Suna. Sai and Ino were almost ready to get engaged; Neji and Tenten and Naruto and Hinata were just happy as I had left them months ago, and my other friends seemed to be interested in someone or had dated already different people. The most amusing thing was to know about Kiba teasing Kankurou about something related with Kiba's sister, Hana. That special memory had brought back to my mind the little moment we had had that specific day and I half smiled nostalgic remembering just because it had stirred up something within me that I had put aside.

* * *

"_Hana is a very interesting woman."_

_Kankurou said clearing his throat and despite the makeup he wore as part of his role as ninja I could clearly see some blush of embarrassment hidden under it. Kiba chuckled and pointed at him between amuse and annoyance._

"_Now you're even calling her by her name! That's something you couldn't do just for dancing with her a couple of songs!"_

"_Hey! She asked me to call her by her name… I called her Inuzuka-san first!"_

"_It seems someone is getting jealous and overprotective."_

_Shino added after taking a big sip of our fake sake. We laughed and Kiba reddened embarrassed and more annoyed._

"_That's not true. I don't have a reason to be it. It's not big deal. Hana danced with other men anyway, it wasn't special."_

"_What the hell is wrong with you? First you make a fuss because I call your sister by her name and now you're acting like this!"_

"_I don't get why brothers usually tend to be so jealous and overprotective when his sisters are dating." _

_Temari said after sighing showing a bothered expression that in fact was truly amusement and seeing Kankurou's reaction to Kiba's one. Kankurou turned at her quickly knowing that she was referring to himself and probably Gaara, who in fact didn't seem to feel fitted to that role and stayed calm and attentive at the talk. We laughed again. I didn't have brothers or sisters, so I didn't know how that kind of stuff was. My hopeful and playful part of me pictured myself with more children besides Miyu and the image of a little Sasuke bothering an older image of her for dating came to my mind filling it with joy and delight. I couldn't wait to live that despite I knew that I should wait because I was young and Miyu too, but then I remembered how things were between Sasuke and me and the possibility of never having another child. That thought saddened me and crushed those little dreams of me but I knew that at the end it was for the best if Sasuke and I didn't… well, you know, even if we had considered it at first. That I knew now that it had been stupid._

"_Hey! I got that!" Kankurou added narrowing his eyes offended by his sister's words. Temari chuckled and rolled her eyes. "I wasn't like that! I was a normal brother who worried for you and your well being. I wanted the best for you, including the best man."_

"_Thank you."_

_Shikamaru said knowing that he didn't mean it for him but smirking amused for taking that as a chance to annoy his brother-in-law. Kankurou was about to say something but caught Temari's dangerous green glance warning him to not talk back even in joke to her new husband and father of her child. We all knew that it was just a play between the two siblings and they understood each others actions and words. He knew that she was joking around so he just muttered something under his breath and Gaara chuckled softly, something very uncommon for him but nice to see._

"_I only hope that Shinta-chan doesn't get like that if he has sisters."_

_Ino said smiling happily at the happy newly weds and new parents and Temari smirked again amused by the idea._

"_We'll only have boys."_

_Shikamaru said firmly and immediately and Temari turned quickly to him cocking her eyebrows in curiosity and wearing that dangerous look of hers that warned so many things. We chuckled funnily knowing what was expecting for Shikamaru then._

"_What the hell is that suppose to mean?"_

"_That we'll only have three children and that they're going to be boys."_

_The Nara heir said again firmly and serious in his role of husband and father; and he was facing directly at his wife. Temari continued with the same expression written all over her face that was so funny to watch._

"_IF I remember correctly, we only agreed in having three children, but not in the gender thing because that's something you shouldn't control. AND if you were to do it, I WOULDN'T let you do it."_

_Shikamaru blinked a couple of times and something in his expression quivered before he averted his eyes and we all chuckled silently again._

"_Why you don't want to have girls?"_

_Temari asked not ready to drop the subject. I knew that she wasn't in fact mad and was only playing with Shikamaru's head. Kankurou smirked probably feeling excited for not being the one now at the end of Temari's joking mood. After a couple of seconds of Shimakaru being silent and staring straight at his wife's eyes, he took a long sip from his cup before answering with a firm voice._

"_Girls are troublesome."_

"_OH, really? Don't tell me, you think so?"_

_Temari said with faked surprised voice and we couldn't help to laugh at it. Shikamaru sighed before putting a hand on her shoulder and she was menacing him with her powerful look. She even was standing with the same feeling all over her._

"_But I WOULD love to have trouble at home."_

_Shikamaru said after releasing a big contained second sight with serious and meaningful look. Temari smirked satisfied._

"_That's better, love, girls are a little complicated, but very entertaining too."_

_She said mocking him and winking at him playfully. He just rolled his eyes smirking too and I could plenty see in all the things he was thinking in case they had a daughter or two. I smirked inwardly when I could see in his face all the worries he was already processing and taking in advance. When I glanced around at my male friends I knew that the major part of them shared his feeling and preoccupation about having a daughter and I found that amusing and surprising. When I watched Sasuke by the corner of my eyes I unexpectedly saw the same and I found it cute in him. I thought then that maybe fathers were naturally more worried about having girls than boys and I couldn't help to remember my father and understood a little his behavior towards me for marrying Sasuke. But I couldn't let him sadden me right now and I wasn't going to let him do it._

"_Well I would be delighted if I have only daughters."_

_Naruto said grinning sincerely and openly and wrapping an arm around Hinata's shoulders. She looked up at him fascinated and smiling warmly, totally in love with him. Ino, Temari, Tenten and me couldn't help to let out an exclamation moved by his words in a playful mood and we chuckled after it. I watched Sasuke rolling his eyes and smirking beside me._

"_But it is worse having an older sister than a younger one." _

_Kiba said serious and still annoying in a joking mood. Temari rolled his eyes amused and we only chuckled again._

"_I have to agree with you there."_

_Kankurou said solemnly and grinning jokingly to be only punched on the arm by Temari. Shikamaru smirked amused._

"_Hey!"_

"_Ouch!"_

"_See what I'm talking about?"_

_Kiba said faking alarm and pointing at the sand siblings._

"_I'll call Hana to teach you to behave properly."_

_Temari said menacing and playfully and Kiba shut up immediately muttering something we couldn't hear or understand and making all of us to chuckle or laugh._

"_Maybe you should say the same to your brother."_

_Tenten added giggling happily and we all knew what she meant. Kankurou reddened again under his makeup and Kiba frowned between amuse and annoyance. Temari smirked wrapping enthusiastically an arm around Kankurou's shoulders who looked stiff and tense._

"_I never thought one of my little brothers would like older woman. Hana is way older than you."_

"_Only for four years!"_

_Kankurou answered alarmed to Temari's playful remark and when she smirked again satisfied and Kiba growled again shooting daggers through black orbs to Kankurou we all knew, and him of course, that he in fact had liked Hana Inuzuka. That was weird, I thought as probably some of the others, I had never expected it, and they barely knew each other and Hana was a very strong willed and passionate kunoichi. I had thought that he had enough with a sister of the sort, but it seemed he had found in the exuberant Inuzuka Clan's heiress a special likeness._

"_You're older than Shikamaru."_

"_WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME." Temari said smirking dangerously and frowning a little as Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Kankurou narrowed his eyes standing his ground. "But yeah, I don't find it wrong. It's just unexpected. I always thought you would chase younger girls."_

"_What the hell is that suppose to mean? That I have some sort of strange vibe?"_

_Kankurou asked annoyed and Temari just chuckled joyfully shrugging. Seconds later she was hugging him gleefully and had kissed him on the cheek and soon she was doing the same with Gaara and asking him about his love life. _

* * *

_Sakura POV_

I couldn't help to feel somehow sad when I knew the reason behind the way that memory in particular affected me. I sighed thoughtful and knowing that Miyu was going to be an only child and that I had to stand my ground in this. I knew that Sasuke and I had talked about it and we had agreed in something but I knew, the rational and not dumb part of my brain knew, that it had been a huge and stupid mistake to even consider the possibility of having more children. It was unfair to them and irresponsible from our part. I couldn't do anything to change Miyu's world about that because it was messed up already and I felt bad and guilty about it, but I could not do the same to other potential children of our own. Probably if we wouldn't be together forever Sasuke could have children with other woman whom he could actually love. At least Miyu wouldn't be an only child if that was the case, I thought sadly, even if they weren't my own. Then I wondered if I could have other children with another man whom I could care and probably love a little more than a simple like. Could I really think in that possible future? Could I really see me _in love _with someone else even if it wasn't the same intense and burning love I felt towards Sasuke? Could my heart really give space for another love to live in it?

But when I held baby Shinta in my arms and I cradled him softly I knew then that I desperately wanted the chance to have other baby at least. I wanted another child, that inner part of me full with maternal love and maternal instinct craved for the chance of giving life inside my womb to another baby girl or baby boy, and feel it inside my belly and I couldn't hide nor couldn't I ignore that fact. As I watched beautiful baby Shinta in my arms so perfect and tiny something moved so greatly inside my soul that it almost made me cry when I knew that it was something out of the question. I couldn't plan like Shikamaru and Temari how many kids we wanted, I couldn't picture Miyu having moments like Temari had with her two brothers, I couldn't bring another baby to the uncertain world I had created like a castle on the wind. I knew that I couldn't tell Sasuke either of these troubling and painful thoughts yet, I somehow knew that he wanted family so badly that probably that could blind him to the reality of our marriage and home, and that he couldn't totally be logical and reasonable in it. I couldn't blame him for it, I understood it and it touched me deeply, but I couldn't let it change my decision. I couldn't let my heart to rule my head in this. Miyu was going to be an only child just like I had been.

But like always in my complicated life, things didn't go my way and it seemed sometimes ironically that what I had decided confronted obstacles I hadn't expected to face and I could only be strong and stand my ground the best I could. Sometimes I wondered if I was tested or maybe punished. Maybe I was, for being such a crybaby and stupid the early years of my life. I meditated all this when after weeks of staying at Konoha and baby Shinta's birth had passed and Sasuke, unaware of my inner situation and my forced decision for the well being of my family, put me on test in a way I didn't want and I couldn't have ever wished for. Despite the fact that he was doing great in his medical checkups and taking his medicines he suddenly started to have nightmares. They started just one night without any kind of warning and at first they were simple nightmares that awoken him in the middle of the night. I noticed at first because I heard noises in his room of him walking around. I didn't give it a lot of importance then. Then I noticed that Sasuke got up a few times at night and I heard the noises of him being awake. I spied on him one night and I knew then that he wasn't sleeping well and that he had trouble going to sleep again after he had awoken. One night I watched him just about when he had awoken with a start and I recognized the signs of a nightmare. _So he was having nightmares_, I told to myself worried. It was then that I couldn't stay out of this and I directly told him about it, that I knew what was going on and I offered my help, yes, that probably masochistic part of me had talked again against me, but he rejected me at first, nicely, of course. When the whole thing grew bigger and I was totally concerned and Sasuke was clearly exhausted after not sleeping at all for some nights, the medic nin in me had to take over. I consulted with Tsunade-sama and Shizune the problem and they performed tests on Sasuke to know if it was something physical or not, and of course, to make things more difficult as always Sasuke's things seem to do, to our bad luck it wasn't something entirely physical. We couldn't medicate him because he was already taking medication to keep in ease his strange illness and control its symptoms and we needed time to find the perfect medication to help him to sleep without messing up his treatment. I felt so frustrated and angered with myself for not having an easy and soon way to help him, I was so deeply preoccupied and fearing that this could affect his great advance in the control of his mysterious sickness and the way his health had been so good till now from time ago, that it was a plain torture to know that he was so tired and even cranky because of it inside his room and I couldn't rest enough and a lot either inside mine wondering over an over the same and dying in my worry and impotence. He hadn't wanted me to be there with him at least for a moment to keep him company, he knew that I needed to rest and sleep because I had to go to work next day, I had a home to take care of, I had a child to keep safe and happy and unaware of the gravity of her father's condition, and he forced me to stay out of it. It wasn't long enough before I couldn't take it anymore and I couldn't stay without doing something to help him. It was painful to see the black rings circling his eyes and the exhaustion taking over his body and spirit, and how hard he tried to keep the balance and not vent out on us all this. It was enough and I wasn't going to stay just watching.

It crossed my mind asking him to talk to me and explain me what was going on, really, inside his mind and thorough his body, but I didn't dare thinking that I could only cause more pain to him just to ease my frustration and impotence. I needed to forget now the fact that he could possibly speak till I could fix it, because I couldn't even dare to think in harming him. So that night as I watched him from the door, resting with his eyes closed on his back on his comfy bed I didn't know exactly why I did what I did. I didn't know how it had occurred to me to just approach him quietly and laid down beside him in silence. I didn't expect anything, I just wanted to be with him even if I wasn't helping at all, I just felt the instinct of simply be there, resting on the inviting mattress and facing the ceiling with my mind in a haze of worry, desperation and fear. I feared so much that this could take away the entire advance Sasuke had achieved over his illness, I feared so much that he could have a relapse or the apparition of a new symptom, that I found myself just giving up while I rested there at least for a moment, because I couldn't really give up, I would never do it if Sasuke was related, if something or someone important to me was at risk, but just for a brief period of time I stayed there still and mute with lost in thought eyes and frozen mind, yearning soul and aching heart, and tired body, oh yes, a body that was tensed up too. I remained there with him beside me thinking from far away what I had done and why, and if I wasn't only trying to keep him company and remember him that we were a family despite the awkwardness of our marriage and relationship and hard past. For minutes I simply forgot what was going on and I sighed deeply and I imagined that we were without any problem in the world, that we were in fact a couple in love that had only had a rough day and we were ready to go to sleep together in comforting and understanding silence. _What an illusion. _I thought with a sad smile stretching my lips. I knew that I had to wake up from it and I took another deep breath before I sat down trying to know how to approach Sasuke to convince him to let me help him somehow. I knew that with him nothing was ever easy and as much as I loved him for it, I wasn't going to take it nicely right now. I turned around to face him with serious and worried expression and furrowed brow and I was surprised when I found him sleeping already. I blinked confused and wondering how long I had been lying there thinking stupidities and imaging childish things. When he had fallen slept? I stared at him quietly and not daring to move to not wake him up. I don't know how he made it to take my breath away when I looked at him. I just could stare like a stupid fangirl at him sleeping peacefully at mere inches away from me, I just could see his beautiful face and pale charming skin, his wonderful straight and black hair and his perfect body, and I had to slap me mentally to get out of my daze. How can I be so enchanted still after years and years of the same old nagging feeling?

I sighed annoyed with myself and feeling lame and pathetic and somehow in a big part happy for it. It only meant that I loved him, yes, I really did, it wasn't a futile crush or a sick obsession. I loved him and I was going to love him forever. And it was something sad and amazing at the same time but I couldn't help it and I wouldn't change it for anything. Leaving behind this retrospective moment I focused in what had happened trying to not be run over by the whole significance of _that _moment. Sasuke was sleeping at least after nights of not doing it and he didn't seem stressed or affected by anything. I waited in silence and worry, hoping and just looking at him for some sign of a nightmare to come. But after a long moment of observance nothing happened and my heart leaped in joy and hope. He was resting properly finally and I was a little less concerned noticing that he really was getting what he needed. He had looked so drained and exhausted that I was so scared waiting for the worst to happen.

I didn't know when or how I ended sleeping too beside him in such a peaceful somber that when I finally opened my eyes and noticed the soft light of the next day I was a little startled. I woke up immediately and I sat down watching him sleeping still calmly. Somehow I knew that he hadn't had another nightmare and he had slept comfortably last night. I smiled happily and feeling such a relief that it was reflected in the profound sigh I let out quietly. In that moment and much later I didn't really know how and why it had happened after the rough nights he had had previously, I was just glad and relieved for it, but the next day when the night fell upon the village and he couldn't sleep again I wondered what difference had worked the miracle. I really didn't think that my presence had somehow helped to the case, Sasuke didn't need me and he hadn't ever needed me for such a simple thing as sleeping peacefully, but when Miyu decided to pay him a little visit before going to sleep I had let her do it despite the fact Sasuke was looking so tired and distracted because he had wanted it. He had simply took her in his arms and had sat her down on his lap as Miyu babbled about the things she considered entertaining or amusing or her innocence could process. Of course, she couldn't really keep still a very good conversation being so little but it was cute and amusing to listen to her and the way she saw the world. I left her with him for a moment before deciding to take her to bed and try to do something again to help Sasuke to sleep and when I came back to his bedroom I had found them sleeping as that other time I treasured within my heart. This time it touched me deeply as the old one and I smiled warmly feeling again relief watching Sasuke properly resting. I didn't dare to interrupt their calm sleeping and I just covered them with a thick blanket and I put pillows by Miyu's side to prevent her from falling from the bed even when Sasuke was holding her protectively and I knew that his unconscious mind as a father was ruling here. I left them in the shadowy room feeling myself tired and sleepy and glad for it and I walked back to my own room not really wanting to ponder about what had happened again that had helped Sasuke out. Even when my analytic mind had some ideas on his own I just wanted then to behold their image printed inside my head that kept me smiling happily and remembering me that despite the circumstances and the fakeness or our married life, there were moments just like this one that made all the effort and trouble worthy and washed away the pain of the crushing reality from my heart.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

Tsunade-sama stared at me serious and understanding and she had skillfully hidden the confusion I could still see in Shizune's face after I had explained them the solution I had discovered concerning Sasuke's recent insomnia and nightmares. Three weeks had gone by and I had been forced to tell them that Sasuke had been sleeping normally again. They had talked to me still worried about it and with some ideas to help him and I couldn't keep quiet when I knew that Sasuke's well being was in the middle of it. We three knew that giving him other kind of meds could jeopardize his actual treatment and his improvement, so I wasn't going to shut my mouth about it just to keep to myself the fact that my husband and I weren't sleeping together since nights ago. I had been calm and collected about it and the two of them were the first ones with whom I had admit that Sasuke and I weren't in fact as fine as we had tried to show it to everyone, including friends and family. I don't know exactly how they all thought our life as a married couple was, but probably they had hoped that it had been the closest to the normal one most of the couples had.

"So, Sasuke's been sleeping normally and peacefully again?"

Tsunade-sama asked after clearing her throat and taking notes not giving a tiny importance to my confession and I thanked her silently from the bottom of my heart. Shizune seemed to understood her behavior because she blushed for seconds probably out of embarrassment, and then looked calm and serious too and regained her portray of the talented medic nin she was. I couldn't help to smile sadly within me.

"Yes." I answered to the two women sat down in front of me at my living room. "He looks even better. He's performing his duties perfectly again."

"Kakashi had told me about it." Tsunade-sama said looking up from her notes and smirking at me satisfied. I could read her concern for me but I thanked again her insight to not tell me something that I knew already. I didn't want anyone scolding me when I did it almost every hour of my day when Sasuke was related. Yes, I had acted wrong and I had to live with the consequences. "Then I think is a lot better than trying to give him some medication that can unravel future and unforeseen problems."

I nodded and we were interrupted when Miyu called out for me from her room. I thought from what I could comprehend from her still mismatched speech that she wanted to show me something. I chuckled happily as my two co-workers and I was about to stand up when Tsunade-sama turned to Shizune.

"Shizune, can you go? I'm very sure that Miyu would appreciate your visit, just for a moment."

Shizune was surprised as me for a moment but hers lasted more than mine. I had understood almost immediately Tsunade-sama's petition and I blinked slowly and lowered my eyes casually knowing the motive behind it. Shizune's eyes moved from her to mine quickly and after she got it she nodded smiling worriedly and stood up. Soon my old sensei and I could hear her from afar talking happily with Miyu and how my daughter joyfully laughed.

"I suspected that being married with Sasuke wasn't in fact totally normal as it should be. But at least I hoped that you were sharing some stuff as simple as sleeping at the same room, especially knowing how much you wanted to give Miyu the impression of her parents comfortable around the other. You had even suggested it."

"I know." I sighed not still meeting her honey gaze. I rested my tensed back on the couch now lifting my eyes to the ceiling with a lopsided smile. "We used to share the same room and even the same bed before. In Suna it was like that for a time but"

I trailed off not wanting to really remember what things had gotten us, in silence and understanding, to take the decision to not do it anymore. The ironic, strange and sad thing about it was that instead of helping me to live easier with this cursed and blessed love at the same time trying to rip apart my chest; it had created an abyss that hunted me in the nights. I didn't want him completely there on the same mattress because I longed for him as a man only like the wife I was, but because I had gotten used to his presence and I had given anything in the past to just have him in moments like that, quietly and peacefully sleeping by my side. Of course I yearned for his kisses, his caresses and his closeness, it was worse now that he had been mine than not having him ever. I had tasted heaven and then I had turned my back on it because it was for the best, but it was harsher when I had had it in the first place. Why? Why we couldn't be in love the two of us and make love without regrets, without secrets and without the guiltiness that came the next morning? Why we couldn't just sleep side by side being in love even if we couldn't touch each other ever again? That would have made my day, just something as simple as that.

"Things happened and I…" I trailed off again sighing deeply and leaning over and with my face still lowered lost in thoughts. "We both just one fine day stopped doing it. Miyu hadn't really noticed or she hadn't really giving it importance, and I bless her innocence."

"Sakura, did you have sex with him after your marriage?"

I was taken aback with her sincere and straight questioning and I looked up quickly feeling myself blushing for talking about such things still. Tsunade-sama was staring at me calmly and understanding and she wasn't looking at me in a wrong or hurting way. I knew I could not tell her anything as I knew that I couldn't tell my own mother these things because I didn't want to worry her anymore. She as the others lived thinking that somehow I had made it work with Sasuke and that I had found content and happiness somehow just as I had preached before when I was a foolish dreamer and a hopeless optimist. I hadn't even told anyone about our honey moon and that special night. I stared at my former sensei with melancholic expression and thoughtfulness and I opened my mouth and I answered to her. _Yes_, I had slept with the husband who doesn't love me again, I had even talked with him about having more children and then I had took my decision back, I had shared romantic moments with him and I had tried to prevent them from happening again because they weren't really romantic, just physical attraction and that thing humans had called instinct. Tsunade-sama stared at me silently and listened to me and when I let out the answer to her question out of my chest and my soul, she just sat by my side, wrapped an arm around my shoulders and patted my head and didn't say anything else. She guessed immediately my wish to have more children and how it hurt me to deny it to myself even when I didn't exactly voice it out and he understood my sadness over it and the big sacrifice I was doing to not have them in these circumstances. I had known that I needed someone with whom I could talk about a part of my silent suffering but I didn't exactly knew how much I needed it. I knew too that I couldn't tell her other things that were burning within my heart but the ones I could let out helped my soul to feel better.

"At least you two treat each other nicely." She said staring at the front just as I was doing. My eyes were burning with desire to cry but I had promised myself to not do it anymore, my tears were now reserved to really important matters. I nodded knowing that she understood that I didn't want to face her now and that she was right. Sasuke wasn't rude with me, just his old same indifferent Sasuke, the type of indifferent that wasn't in fact cruel or mean, just distant from the things he didn't really want, like a wife who was deathly in love with him. "But it's quite strange that lately when he had had his problems of insomnia and nightmares he can sleep when you or Miyu are with him."

I blinked knowing that she was again right. That was it and I hadn't really gotten it at first, till nights later when I had shared the bed with him or Miyu had stayed sleeping in his arms. Somehow that little information created a weird and unexpected anger inside me and I frowned pained and confused. Tsunade-sama looked at me by the corner of her honey eyes like if she had read my very own thought then.

"It's alright to be angry about it."

"Why?"

I asked still shocked by my sudden outburst of anger as my body tensed. Why it was alright to be angry? Why I was angry when I was helping him?

"You know it." Tsunade-sama said calmly. "You're a little angry, as you are relieved, and it's totally fine."

"Hn." I smirked ironically and with sadness springing in my eyes. "Isn't it great?" I turned to her with that same expression still all over my face. "He needs me to sleep when problems come and even when I'm happy and relieved for helping him I… I'm being forced to do something I had chosen to not do anymore. He doesn't need me really to keep on living, if I'm here or not it would be the same, I know it, but he needs me to sleep peacefully and I have to share the bed again and he knows it and I don't know if he notices how much is hurting me to go back to something I had been so hard to detach myself from… and I'm no really necessary, you know," I smiled sadly before turning my gaze to the front again. "Miyu could work the miracle too, so I'm just a replacement, but the saddest part is that he really wants her there because he loves her, and I…" I started to sob and soon some damn freaking tears were falling from my pained eyes. "I know it, I know that it would be a lot better for me if I let her help her father, just her, and I'm so happy when they are together and my heart melts when I see them and I'm thankful that they love each other after all, but I steal from my own daughter part of those moments when I just lay there beside him to help him to fall to sleep and I lie to myself telling me that I can't lean on Miyu everything, that I can't put on her little shoulders this all the time, and I lie just because I want part of those moments too." I was definitely crying now and I was doing a great effort to stop myself from doing it. "I lie to myself and I take Miyu's place and I feel like the worst mother in the world just because I want to be with Sasuke even for that, even when I had decided to stop this nonsense and get a grip on myself…"

Tsunade-sama just kept her arm wrapped around my shoulders in understanding silence. I sobbed and struggled with my teary self for a moment before I could compose my sorry self and calm down a little.

"I'm angry with him for doing this to me, why he can sleep when I'm there just as he can do it with our daughter? I can understand it from her; Miyu's his daughter, but what about me? Why he does it to me? What kind of game he plays when I'm around? Perhaps I'm not really so important and I'm just giving it the wrong importance, you know." I shook my head softly smiling ironically and a little calmer than before. "I'm sorry for slashing out this on you, Tsunade-sama… but I'm glad you were here."

"I'm glad too that I could help you in some way." She said smirking before putting a serious face. "Sakura, have you thought that it's useless to keep this act up? There isn't helpful to you to keep living like this, even if Sasuke doesn't mistreat you, in some way you're getting hurt at the end." I blinked surprised by her words and some part of me suddenly remembered what I had thought back at Suna. Someday I was going to be forced to take the decision I didn't want to take for whatever reason I could think of, from being such a cry baby and weak useless masochist, to a stupid hopeful dreamer trying to have the nice family she had always wanted, giving her daughter that dream. Probably everything just was the fact that I couldn't live without him as I couldn't live with him either. "Is it really worthy for you to keep on living this lie and half life? You don't deserve it and you're not to blame for getting pregnant at a young age without being married. Don't feel guilty and don't blame yourself. You don't have the responsibility for Sasuke's destiny."

I looked down realizing the truth behind her honest and straightforward words. I hadn't ever really thought it that way and some part within me, hidden deeply, stirred up when I heard her voice saying that. Did I felt like any of that after so long? Was I messed up so badly? Did it was really related to my denial to end something that it wasn't functioning? Or it was simply that I wanted excuses to understand these feelings of mine?

Anyway I knew that Tsunade-sama was right. I knew I couldn't waste my life like this forever, fearing for Sasuke to find someone else with whom he could share his real heart, fearing that the daily life and regular routine could harm us bad, finding one fine day that we couldn't stand our common life anymore. I ached thinking merely in it but I knew I had to face the possibility sooner of later. That was the plain truth and my former sensei knew it too. I couldn't blind myself any longer and I couldn't leave the time to go by like this. Sooner or later I would be forced to choose, just I had guessed in Suna that lonely night. The only question was how long I was going to wait and why. The reasons to do it were in fact the important thing here.

"Anyway" Tsunade-sama began knowing that she didn't need to say anymore, she had said what she wanted and she trusted in me enough to think really about it and I again thanked her insight and confidence. "About Sasuke's sleeping problems, I think that he had been having bad dreams and nightmares because somehow the meds weren't working properly at that specific moment. When we sleep we are more vulnerable, so his hallucinations could have been troubling him to the point of provoking him insomnia." I nodded thinking deeply in what she was saying and noticing the truthfulness of it. Sasuke had seemed so out of himself, so anxious and in permanent alert these nights when he hadn't been sleeping that it was very possible that his hallucinations had been messing up with him. I couldn't help to feel concerned and affected, I cared sincerely for him, and I loved him, dammit… I frowned staring worried at her. "When Miyu or you are with him, I guess he has some sort of recognition of what reality is, so you two became a link to it and help him out to realize that, so he finally can sleep peacefully and comfortably. You two live with him the most of the time, you two share time and space with him more than anyone else, so that's why probably he finds some tranquility when you are close to him in those weak moments of his mind." She paused briefly giving a quick glance to her writings. "What I'll do is to give him a slight and soft portion of the meds he regularly takes to keep his symptoms away, specially the part controlling the hallucinations at night, so he can start sleeping properly without problem. Everything will work out, alright?"

She smirked at me calmly and I sighed deeply believing honestly in her last phrase. I didn't want to accompany him through night to help him to sleep, that wasn't healthy for any of us, especially to me, so Tsunade-sama' solution was perfect and I knew that she had taken it to help me. So I thanked to her once again and soon I knew that at least that problem was going to be solved and I could go back to my silent suffering and my constant and tiring trying of keeping him away and myself of course.

In the upcoming days there were moments when I was really decided to take a decision soon not mattering what end could bring, but there were quite a few moments when I got weaker and I couldn't tear myself apart from the possibility of staying with him forever, or until he called it forever, not minding if I was going to suffer permanently anxiety and sadness. Sometimes I wondered if I wasn't giving up too soon and if I should wait more time to see if something could be changed between both of us, within his unreachable heart. I knew that debating between these two sides was childish, insecure and stupid, but I couldn't really take the final decision now. We had gotten back from our long stay on Suna and we were settling on our village again as a marriage and family, we were getting back on our tracks and everything seemed to be perfectly working for us. Tsunade-sama's solution had worked its miracle on Sasuke and he didn't have problems to sleep any longer and I was grateful and of course, a little sad over it, because I was such a pathetic woman that couldn't decide between being close to him or keep her sorry self away from him. He was doing great at his job and was training with Kakashi-sensei and Naruto to get the title of Chunnin and later Jounin like the rest of us. His health seemed fine, fine enough in what I could consider now Sasuke's special condition, and I was doing great at my job too. Miyu was a happy little girl who was pampered and loved for more people than in Suna and was growing wonderfully, so as anyone could see, for other eyes we were fine as a family and a couple.

But they didn't really see the distance that was between Sasuke and me when we were alone at home and without Miyu, the only link that could reunite us somehow, and they didn't really see the courteous but hollow way we treated the other, just recognizing our presences there as the roles we were playing, but not really caring, not really sharing, not really living it.

But I cared. And I wanted to share. And I wanted to live it with all my heart.

And I knew that against everything I could see as a tiny hope, probably nothing was going to change and I wasn't going to win Sasuke's heart ever, and probably he was going to get tired of me sooner than I could get tired of him and he was going to be the one leaving through the door. He was going to be the one to leave, simply because I wasn't strong enough to do it yet even when I had thought it and considered it and even when I knew that this wasn't healthy for me and it wasn't going to be it for Miyu when she grew and could finally see the truth without so much blessed child innocence. But for now I wasn't simply ready as I could have wished it and I had to suck up my incessant confusion and pain. Those days I really thought that nothing else could make it harder or easier, and it wasn't even in my dreams but of course, as many things in my life I should have known better this time.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

It started a few days after he had gotten better about his insomnia. Lately I had been a little worried about the tattoo Hinata's father had put on him so long time ago by orders of the Council and I had wondered why I had never really put attention on it. I guessed I had grown used to see it there, marked in black ink on his forehead as another part of his perfect and beautiful being, as his raven hair or stunning black eyes. Anyway, Hiashi-sama had suggested us to _erase _the tattoo which in fact hadn't worked like it was supposed to do; it wasn't now even strong enough to contain Sasuke and hurt him badly if he tried to leave Konoha as it had happened before that dreadful day. Now that we were back at Konoha and we seemed ready to begin our life there, Hiashi-sama wanted to do it knowing that he could watch Sasuke's progress by first hand. Removing a tattoo created for someone specifically and for something particularly wasn't easy, and he had been all this time trying to find the perfect and less painful and less dangerous way. The Council didn't have a say in this because they simply hadn't gotten what they had wanted at first when they had requested it and just bringing the subject to them caused obvious anger and frustration. The tattoo caused still some effect on Sasuke when he tried to leave Konoha without a permitted reason, like when he wanted just to talk a walk outside our boundaries, so that was why Hiashi-sama and I wanted it to disappear.

I had been there as a medic nin the times Hiashi-sama did his last preparations and studies before eliminating it and I was glad that at least that thing was going to end. It remembered harder and sadder times of our lives and I didn't want Sasuke to feel like a prisoner still in the village, his village, after all that had happened years ago. Naruto had even suggested us to celebrate somehow the _erasing _and I had just laughed sincerely. It was nice to see how much my friends wanted time to just simply fool around and have a nice moment when we weren't immersed in our daily missions and jobs. The day of the _end of the tattoo _came and I was very relaxed about it thanks to Hiashi-sama's intervention. It was quick, simple and harmless and soon Sasuke was walking by himself on the streets of Konoha like a really free man without a _sign _that _marked _him as someone unwanted or rejected in our society. Hinata's father had apologized to him about the whole thing because he hadn't really been content or had agreed with the Council's decision that time but he couldn't have said no for Sasuke's behalf. Kakashi-sensei smiled and congratulated Sasuke joking around and I knew that he understood the act like I did. This meant something for Sasuke in Konoha, our beloved village, maybe he couldn't really see the importance or didn't give it the significance we both did, but it meant for me that he wasn't seen as before even if the people weren't totally a fan of him. At least it meant that he was trustful and worthy and was part of the village and accepted, and because the Council hadn't gone against it, it only increased all this. Of course, we celebrated it with a fancy dinner and all our friends reunited, a little party where we chatted, laughed and joked around enjoying our company and sharing the late news of our lives. Sai and Ino seemed ready to commit to each other soon after their relationship had gotten the closest it could (you know what I mean); Shikamaru and Temari were a happy couple of new brand parents, Naruto and Hinata were still strongly in love and enjoying their relationship, Neji and Tenten were quite in the same level on their own, I had known for the first time of Hanabi's crush on Shino, I heard from Temari that Kankurou seemed to be going out with Kiba's older sister (something this last one didn't approve of course out of brotherly jealousy) and that Gaara seemed to have a _prospect_ back at his village. Kiba, Chouji and Lee said they had been going out with some girls but they weren't in something serious till now. Just listening to my friend's daily life had made me forget somehow my own tortuous one, and we had a very funny and happy moment together. I thought that even Sasuke enjoyed it on his own particular way.

But with the tattoo gone and after days of that single entertaining day when we were together celebrating it something old started to happen and even when some part of me was somehow waiting it for return and could always understand it, it took me by surprise and it concerned me deeply. And of course, it hurt me too.

Sasuke started to run away from the village like in the past for few days. He left Konoha without anyone noticing, excepting me, and he returned later like if nothing had happened. I wondered silently, because I didn't dare to tell to anyone what he was doing again, something that anyone including me could find suspicious, what could he been doing out of the village. Why he did those little journeys? Where did he go? Why he didn't let me know somehow? I felt strangely betrayed and angry because I had thought that when he had shared his secret about his capacity to speak and we had had that little confident moment, that at least he could count on me in this kind of things. Probably I had been foolish enough to think that he was going to consider me in some way after he had spoken to me about his secret, and I had expected as always a lot of him when I had always known he wouldn't fill my expectations, but it weirdly hurt me the fact that he was doing secret things behind our back, _my back_, and he didn't give me the perhaps little importance I had in our shared life. I was hurt that his shared secret hadn't brought us closer and the tiniest hope I could have been having still was blown away by the reality's wind of deception. But I had to get over it if I wanted to know what Sasuke was up to, in behalf of his security and name still darkened in the minds of the people of Konoha and the Land of Fire. I was aware of his little absences and I kept my mouth shut just because I didn't want the Council knowing of it, or any of my friends yet. I cover up for him and I didn't even know if he noticed it, and he didn't thank me for it, but I did it still because I didn't want him getting in trouble. That was the way my love was driving me to and I couldn't go against my heart then.

But my mind didn't leave me in peace either.

And it requested me to seek and learn the truth finally. I wanted to know why my husband did those little trips and where did he go when he was at them. I wanted to know if he was going bad again, something I dreaded profoundly and if he was safe and being careful out there. And my pain for being left out of it, maybe a childish and stupid reaction of me, demanded me to step out and confront him finally about something. If this was the chance to finally learn the truth about Sasuke I was forced to take it and embrace it whatever it was. I couldn't keep wondering endlessly when I had the opportunity to know at least some part of his story and the decisions behind his acts. Even when I was ready to learn the part of the truth and I had been waiting for so long for it, my bravery didn't come exactly at the same time. It took me days and nights of silence to the world outside us to really take the first step, while I was debating between sureness and fear, fear of knowing something I didn't want to know yet or ever like the coward human being I was, something that could tear apart my actual life and destroy my shaking home and family. Was it really worthy to go beyond and confront Sasuke? Could I risk what I had now, just out of my stubbornness, my right to know, my inner and conscious desire to take off the cloth blinding my eyes? Could I reason with my anxiety telling me to leave the things the way they were and not dig deeper into something that was probably going to hurt me? Did I have to listen to my heart once again or should I start listen to my head instead?

The truth deep within was that I was scared because I simply felt that I was going to discover something painful. Was it the other way when Sasuke was related anyway? And my childish and dreamy part still breathed hopeful against the idea, trying to believe that I was overreacting at the mere end. What to do? I couldn't ask anyone an advice, nobody knew of Sasuke's secret departing. It was me all alone, it was me the one to decide to look and know or stay blind folded and hopeful still. And after thinking deeply and strongly in every little consequence that could come ahead and everything that had happened between Sasuke and me the last years, I finally took a decision and I brace myself knowing that I had to go till the end with it. I couldn't step back and I needed it even when I was scared and fighting mixed feelings. I couldn't keep suffering like this and stressing myself about it anymore, I was going to hurt myself for nothing or die from a heart attack. If I was strong before in other occasions, more important occasions, this was nothing. I could handle it and it was time to face Sasuke about something real. I thought that I deserved it at least after all we had shared since Miyu was conceived. I found courage and one fine day I asked my mother to take care of Miyu for a longer time telling her a lie that I barely could mutter and I waited till Sasuke left in secrecy. I followed him at sunset by the old streets of the village trying to be casual and avoid contact with anyone, especially my friends, as my heart pounded hard and painful inside my chest, and I heard its beating drumming in my ears. I followed him closely and silently and thanking everything above for his confidence in not trying to see if he was being followed. I didn't see my surroundings and I barely put attention to the path I was walking like a spy, all my concentration and attention was on the man ahead of me that was the man of my dreams, the prince in his shining armor, my husband, the father of my child. He was all that to me and much more and here we were, playing this charade just because I wasn't a single part of any of that to him. The sadness tried to take me away and cloud my eyes but I blinked it away and frowned knowing that soon I was going to know something Sasuke had been keeping secret from me and from all of us. And I couldn't help to shake in fear and anxiety with my pulse racing and the trepidation shortening my breathing as I passed trees and trees and the night advanced and the morning came again and I hadn't slept like him, and I hadn't rested like him, and I hadn't eaten something like him and I had barely drunk water in an unconscious way. I could just recognize the things around me and know where I was but I was entranced and lost to the world.

It wasn't a place far away from Konoha if we had only walked all night long. Probably we had traveled 12 hours approximately. I hadn't really come here but it seemed quite similar to the woods surrounding the boundaries of our village and land. The place didn't seem dangerous in any way, it was a calm clearing and the day had started nice. I followed Sasuke through some secret passage among old, thick and very tall trees that shadowed a lot our path and all the exhaustion and sleep I could have been feeling just out of the stress (because I was used to exhaust myself being a medic nin like I was) disappeared immediately when I felt that the end of our journey had come. In question of minutes I was going to know what Sasuke was doing here and why, and the world that had come with me as my silent and compliance partner turned much more blurred that all those long hours I had spent following the only one I had loved so much that it hurt to the core. Just more steps ahead and soon I was going to know some part of the secrets Sasuke had and I was there being attracted uncontrollably towards that unknown force that was going to destroy me without remorse. Because I knew it and I felt it then in the bones and I knew I had risked everything and everything was going to change and the pieces of my fragile life were going to shatter just like that.

I stopped hiding behind a tree whose shadow against the bright sun covered me in disguise magically and I froze myself there feeling the upcoming tears of realization and pain that had been foreshadowing my end since days and nights ago.

Sasuke walked forward to a small cave that seemed to function as some sort of house and when he was about to knock the wooden screeching door opened and a woman appeared at the doorframe. She looked at him with surprise at first and then she shook her head with resigned expression. She was about five or six years older than us but she was pretty and she looked like that magical fairies adults tell about to children. I couldn't critique her clothes or appearance beyond the fact that she was beautiful because she soon was holding Sasuke and had kissed his cheek lovingly to then hug him strongly.

I stared there paralyzed and frowning between shock and confusion, between realization and doubt and my eyes blinked slowly breaking the barrier containing the tears. I felt from far away the tears rolling down my cheeks and the quiet and shocking sobbing leaving my aching throat as my breathing got a complex rhythm of pain. I didn't have strength left to ball my fists in anger or perturbation and I stood there looking at my husband giving her back the caring hug and kissing her cheek with respect and softness. He was holding her as strongly as she was doing and he had landed his head in a comforting way on her shoulder. They were caring and worried about the other and that was clearly shown to see to anyone, even to the damaged wife who was spying on them totally in sorrowful and shocking state.

The hug ended and she muttered something to him as she looked at him with her beautiful and slumbering eyes and she took her by his hand and lead the way back to the cave in a familiar way. Sasuke clutched her hand and followed her like an obedient stray dog and the door closed with a loud noise that finally caused a reaction out of me.

* * *

The pink haired woman flinched and suddenly she was crying like a crazy with her heart trying to get out from her agitated chest through her hurting throat and she was trembling in so much pain that it was physical right now. She cried and sobbed like a wounded animal trying to calm herself and reason with her head, but her heart was way too hurt and disappointed, and her anger and pain were too strong to handle at the same time. She tried to get away from the damn cursed place but it took her all her will and the little logical and cold thought that she could find inside her torturing mind to turn her back to the cave and start walking through the damn cursed woods that now seemed like and endless puzzle, an impossible labyrinth to conquer to her shattered soul. She walked fast through the natural paths of her surroundings not giving attention where she landed a foot or if she was going to crash with a tree. Her green eyes were full with tears flowing without end soaking her pale face and preventing her to really see well in front of her. She was doing a major effort to keep walking when her body shook still without permission in unison with her loud crying and despairing sobbing. Just to get away from there, _from them_, that were all inside her mind know, not minding if she wasn't taking the right direction to Konoha. She knew she couldn't go back like this, not looking like this, not broken like this. Just to keep walking ahead, not turning back not glancing back, not following the ideas her mind gave her just remembering them there hugging and kissing, not following the thoughts her head pictured imagining them inside that cave totally naked and making love like if nothing in the world mattered. She didn't want to think anymore about it, she didn't want to dwell in it anymore and start asking herself questions about that woman who had obtained what she couldn't all these years and after all she had done for him. Now she couldn't really sit down and start thinking deeply in what this discovery meant and all the things that came along with it, not now, not now when she was suffering like if she had a terminal disease and her troubled and traitorous mind couldn't reconcile with her tortuous heart.

For how long she walked through the woods? She didn't know. She didn't know either what path she had chosen and if it was going to take her to her village or to somewhere else. She had stopped finally her incessant and unplanned path when she had seen her own image reflecting back in the calm waters of a small river in front of her tired and throbbing feet. She stood there staring back at her own image looking how messy her pink hair looked, how pale she was, how her body trembled slightly and her clothes looked awful and wrinkled. And for the first time in all the time it had passed, that she didn't have an idea how long it had been, an unexpected thought crossed her mind and made her chuckle sadly. _I look like crap_. She even laughed a little with pained and puffy red eyes but the laugh immediately died and her eyes filled with tears again and soon she was staring at her image crying despairingly in front of her blurred vision. And she suddenly snapped.

Screaming in emotional and mental agony she fell on her knees and fought against the waters that couldn't respond to her attack and only danced with her fists, she fought against the ground where she had landed and the ground responded scratching and hurting her naked fists. She screamed and cried, sobbed and yelled, straight to the sky above and straight to the ground beneath her, trying to trap the playful water that instead soaked her and mixed with her endless, pure and painful tears. _He was there with her. They were together. She had him as she would never have him. _The jealousy burned deep within her soul and ate her heart torturing her mind with graphical pictures that tore her completely apart. Right now all she felt was jealousy and anger, sadness and disappointment, despair and sorrow. Why? Why it was her and not she? What Sasuke had found in that woman that she had always lacked? Why he couldn't try a little to love her, to like her? Why he couldn't make an effort after all that he had done to her? Why he couldn't care for her just out of the story that was between the both? Was she just the toy she had always thought to please him and entertain him, to pleasure him when he needed it?

_That was all, _she thought as the anger rose above her jealousy and suffering. How could he come to her after staying with this unknown woman to just use her in those moments of empty passion? In the moments when they had been so intimately close, having sex or sharing romantic little moments, was he thinking in her? Was she her replacement in his mind and heart? Did his hands touch her believing it was that other woman? Did his lips get satisfied kissing her when they looked for the ones belonging to that woman? How long had he been seeing her and visiting her, how long had he been with her while he played the game she had started out of stupidity and useless pathetic love? She cried and cried harder and painfully as her body was loosing the little strength it had left and she remained there sitting on the ground with blurred vision and a hurting and burning throat trying to conceal yells and screams of utter pain. Suddenly her head started to make connections that only worsened her emotional state. Was this woman the reason why he left Konoha since years ago? Was his little and unexpected trips disguises to come to see her and love her? Surely that was the plain and crushing truth. Sasuke had been coming to see her since a long time ago and his secrecy and absences not explained were the proof. And she had thought stupidly that he was doing something to heal himself! That he was trying to be cured for Miyu's sake! But they had been together even before they had gotten married, even when they had gotten married… even when he was with her on Suna… he had gone away too when they were at the Land of Wind under Gaara's care. Everything started to click on her head with fatal resignation and aching resolve. He had never stopped visiting this woman in all these long months, probably he was with her when she slept with Sasuke for the first time, when she had ended knocked up, and she had been such a idiot surrendering to him and giving him her purity and love, not knowing all this, not really imagining, not really expecting it. Of course she had thought that Sasuke one fine day could find someone whom he would really like and probably love, a woman of his choice, but she had never thought that it was going to be like this. _Not like this, _with him cheating on her, using her, and she playing stupidly the game of the perfect and nice home, family and married couple. This wasn't what she had expected from it, not this, not this way, not being betrayed so cruelly, so freaking damn cruelly, not like this… it would have happened inside her head when they were separated at least after failed attempts to save their marriage and family, after she was sick and tired of the pretending and the silent longing, after she had said _stop _to this nonsense she had started on her own. Not like this, not when they had been together for the first time, when she had gotten pregnant of Miyu, when they were already married and living as a family, not like this, not this way.

Her blurred and puffy red eyes fumed in anger wondering if this woman had already met their daughter. Could Sasuke be capable of bringing Miyu to meet her when he had taken her in secrecy that time? Only remembering altered her, feeling again the despair and ache of not knowing where her baby was, but now she was looking at it with a new light. What if Sasuke had taken Miyu to come and see this woman? Could he really dare to do such a thing, a thing that he should have known that it would hurt her deeply and irremediably? IF that was true, what the hell was he thinking? Why he didn't do a freaking damn thing to let her know about this woman of him? Was he a coward who didn't dare to upset her or confront her, or was he just so freaking cold and indifferent towards her that he didn't care a little her opinion and her feelings? Could Sasuke really have done something as hurting as that? Bringing here their daughter to meet his lover? _His real and true love, the woman with whom he was right now surely kissing and caressing, feeling her skin and looking into her eyes, making love…_

She shook her head brusquely still crying profoundly with a deep painful frown. _Stop thinking in that, stop it you fool! It's useless, it's worthless! There's nothing good in torturing yourself! How many times you looked for her in me, Sasuke? Why you didn't have the guts to tell me the truth? Why you played this pathetic and useless game of forming a family together? Were you really so scared of being held captive and away from Miyu? Did she let you marry me even if she was the secret? Did she love you so much to let you be with the lame idiot girl that had loved you like a mad since we were children? Did she love you as I do despite everything you have done to me to leave you stay with that imbecile pink haired annoying supposedly woman playing at the nice home with the happy family? _

She chuckled sadly and suffering. _Of course, she must love you like a mad, just like me, what other way it could be? You're the kind of man that could create that cursed love within women's heart. You and only you, with your enigmatic personality that enchanted us unfortunately for us, with your beauty in every little single damn detail, with your silky black hair and your onyx pretty eyes, pale skin and strength and confidence whirling you around… how could she not love you like this little poor thing does? Why you couldn't be sincere with me? If only you had told me the truth I would have understood it, I would have distant myself and let you be happy, and god dammit I would have even helped you to obtain happiness with her! Even if it wasn't me… but for your happiness and peace of mind… I could have done it if only you would have been honest with me since the beginning… even if I had gotten pregnant with your child, I would have separate my way from yours… and that's why I cannot forgive you now… and I cannot forgive myself either…_

She cried and sobbed totally drained and calmly this time, feeling still the anger boiling within her tattered soul. Yes, she was angry for all the theories her crazy mind had elaborate after this discovery and hurt her beyond comprehension, but the sadness was bigger, the disappointment was stronger, the suffering were unbearable. The little hope that the part of her heart that was still lingering thinking possible a miracle that could bring them together finally one day had shattered into tiny little pieces that disappeared and couldn't be repaired anymore. She felt the rage of feeling being used and betrayed, for not being seeing worthy after all she had done for him, for not being cared enough for him after all she had sacrificed for him, for not being ever taken in account to be that woman. But she was sorrowful and broken because _at the end she wasn't her_ and she had always known it. She had agreed in living a lie and fake and pretend, she had proposed it, and she had to confront the consequences of her actions. She was sad because he had never really seen her. She couldn't forgive the Sasuke it had formed within the realm of her pained mind where her questions and connections brimmed intensely, if he had done that or this, all that, she couldn't forgive it because he had acted so cruelly towards her. He hadn't had the tiniest consideration then towards her after all she had done for him and she wasn't using those actions as an excuse to make him pay somehow, but she was a damn human being! She was a damn woman who hadn't done anything wrong to him except loving him truly and deeply! She didn't deserve this, not this, not this way, just the plain truth, without lies and pretense; she could have been strong enough to deal with it face to face, but not this dirty secret play, not this, and not this way. She didn't feel that she deserved this cruelty from Sasuke.

That was what she couldn't forgive him. The intentional and well thought hurting that he was going to bring to her, the suffering with a purpose, and the pain in the heart that wouldn't ever go away. _That was not fair, Sasuke-kun_… _you didn't play nice Sasuke… _and she couldn't forgive herself for her stupidity and weakness to never try to stand up and stop the feelings that had created her actions and had taken her to this point, she couldn't forgive herself for not standing up for her own and for not trying to live her life without him, just letting him be Miyu's father, but just that, not giving a chance to other options, not opening up to other possible futures, not wanting to see beyond him, not wanting to be without him not matter what. _I'm to blame too in this mess… and I should have stopped this nonsense when I knew that it wasn't right… but I was to weak to say goodbye to him… to try to leave outside his shadow… and now I'm being forced to do it not matter what._ She sobbed calmly with face filled with hurting resignation, contained anger and powerful melancholy. _I wish I could hate you but I cannot bring myself to feel it… it's strange, you know? Am I so damaged that I cannot feel hatred for what you have done to me unconsciously and with total conscience? Am I so broken beyond repair that I cannot feel hatred towards you, the one that had broken me so many times and in so many different ways? Is there something wrong with me to just feel anger and sadness for this ultimate act of hurt that you had imposed on me? _

She couldn't bring herself to remember once again everything and ponder every single situation shared with him like she had been doing since their story had become one with Miyu's birth. _Not again, _she resolved and chastised herself shocking vigorously her head and with burning and abundant tears falling from her emerald misted eyes. She wasn't in the mood and she simply couldn't be trapped again in the reminiscing of their old memories and past, analyzing everything over and over when she had done it several times already, it was enough, it was cleared and thought, and she couldn't keep herself doing the same not really going forwards and taking decision about it. How much time she had taken thinking over the same old issue tormenting her heart and consuming her soul, making a mess of her mind? It was enough, wasn't it? What good she could find in meditating about the same old thing time after time and getting to the same old conclusions and the same logical resolutions? Right now it was just enough and it was pointless and even masochistic to try to find something new in something that it was going to end always the same old way. That was the plain slapping truth and she understood it and accepted it. No anymore inner painful monologues that played inside her head when she was around her friends or in the solitude of her work or home, no anymore. No more discoveries that were residing in her just under dust of forced ignorance and faked bliss. She had always known the truth, right? All about her musings and debates against herself and about herself concerning Sasuke, all about this cursed hopeless love, all about the path she had chosen so willingly. What else she could find in revisiting the same feelings and thoughts? What she could gain for it? She was already suffering like an idiot and like a mad right now. Was there something else bigger than this anticipated disillusion? Was there something else stronger than this everlasting sadness? Was there something else deeper than this unwanted anger and betrayal? The value he hadn't given to her and what she had done all this time, the worth she didn't have in his eyes to at least not deserve this, the respect her title as the mother of his child and supposed wife should be giving her. So it was useless to be now thinking all the pondering she had done back at Suna for example, thanks to Shikamaru and Temari's marriage. She chuckled sadly with blurred orbs and sarcastic look. _It's pointless anymore_. All was said and done.

The medic nin sighed deeply still sobbing and crying calmer this time and stood up quietly with lost look. It was time to go back home. She started to walk with decided and weak pace taking the right path to Konoha and didn't notice that someone had been watching her from the distance covered under the shadows of the tall leafy trees.

* * *

She knew that there was something wrong with her friend. As she exchanged looks with the mother of her best friend she knew that she wasn't the only one noticing it. She kept quiet as she stared worried and confused at the pink haired woman packing her husband's things with the help of the utterly concerned and shocked mother of her.

"Sakura"

The blonde called her name finally taking some steps forward with serious expression. Sakura blinked and sighed deeply but didn't say anything. Her mother glanced between Ino and Sakura asking silently for an explanation.

"What's going on forehead girl?" Ino cautiously asked coming over to the bed where Sakura was packing Sasuke's things. "Why are you packing Sasuke's belongings? Something happened between you both?"

Ino stared worriedly at her friend who didn't answer back and was like a robot packing with lost look imprinted on her eyes.

"What's going on Sakura?" Her mother questioned her with tender and concerned sweet voice after she folded some of Sasuke's clothes. "You came to me asking me to take care of Miyu but didn't explain yourself very well and then you disappeared from the village for long hours. Since you came back you've been acting strangely, like a zombie, and just after I brought Miyu to you, you took a shower, ate something and slept a couple of hours and started to pack Sasuke's things. You had barely spoken and you seem so out of yourself, honey." The older woman smiled kindly and sadly landing a hand on Sakura's shoulder and forcing her gently to stop her automatic motion and turn to look at her. "What happened? Did you have an argument with Sasuke? Is he going somewhere?"

Ino waited patiently and worried watching Sakura knowing that there was something wrong in the scene and her sudden and unexplained behavior. She had been called by Sakura's mom and Ino had immediately come over when the woman had told her how her friend looked after her return. Ino, like her other friends, especially Naruto, had wondered confused why Sakura had gotten out of the village without saying anything to anyone, and wondered where she could have possibly gone. Then it had gotten to them that Sasuke was absent from Konoha too and they couldn't find him either. They had kept the unusual behavior of the couple in secrecy not wanting to cause trouble to their friends but the worry and ignorance had bothered them all the while they hadn't gotten news about them. Personally Ino felt that Sakura was somehow tossing Sasuke out of her house and she wondered what he could have possibly done to make her act so drastically. Then she wondered if it was really _so drastically_. They hadn't been really a couple ever, sadly to recognize it, and somehow she had expected unfortunately that one fine day Sakura was going to snap about her situation of living inside a loveless marriage. She didn't exactly know if the others had realized how the things really were between Sasuke and her, but she at least had noticed but didn't say anything for respect to her friend's effort. Hinata, Tenten and Temari had said some commentaries about it that gave her the idea that they had realized somehow and perhaps in some degree how the situation was in the Uchiha home but they hadn't talked about it due to their own busy lives and for respect to their privacy. Now she felt a little guilty and she knew the others were going to feel the same way knowing that probably they could have done something to help Sakura out and they hadn't done anything not wanting to intrude or meddle in their life, a reason respectable, but not felt at heart for any of them completely. She had only talked it with Naruto because he was Sasuke's best friend and Miyu's godfather, and with Sai who was her boyfriend. If the others were totally clueless, she didn't have idea. Her mind now was making up reasons good enough to compensate Sakura's sudden behavior and every reason just was more concerning and alarming than the last one.

"I'm packing Sasuke's things because I don't want him here." Sakura said finally with monotone and tired voice and crystal eyes lost in thought that didn't in fact connect to the ones of her own mother. Ino flinched frowning and imagining the worst scenario while the older woman frowned in deep confusion and preoccupation. "I'm going to separate from Sasuke. He's been cheating on me." She said with an ironic and melancholic smirk that filled her green orbs once again with unshed tears. The two listeners flinched in unison surprised by her words and with their confusion clarifying little by little. "Sasuke has an affair. He loves another woman who is not me. So it's pointless to go on with this little play. The show is over."

Sakura smiled weakly with some tears rolling down her cheeks and she resumed to her job being done after crossing a pleading look with her mother and her friend. Ino was speechless analyzing her explanations through the direct words and the cracking voice of her friend and kept silent noticing what was behind Sakuras's pleading eyes: understanding and respect. _Please don't ask me_. She watched touched and worried how her mother wrapped her arm around Sakura's shoulders and hugged her quietly with crystal eyes. The pink haired woman closed her eyes for a moment and stopped her automatic actions and let herself get lost in the gentle and supporting embrace silently crying with resignation and suffering impossible to hide completely. Ino took one of her hands in hers in a way to try to console her friend and show her care and support too and Sakura just smiled grateful and saddened tightening the grab and opening her eyes for seconds to look at the blue eyes of Ino before closing her puffy swollen eyes again. The blonde didn't dare to ask anymore just as her friend had asked of her even when her mind was brimming with demanding questions and her anger raise against the one responsible for Sakura's suffering. How could Sasuke have done this to her? Why he wasn't clear and had separated from her before going around with other woman? Why he had to cheat and lie? And then her mind was plagued by worse questions… How Sakura found out the truth? Had she seen it by first hand? Had she been expecting this from Sasuke in a little part inside of her? Dammit! It broke her to see Sakura like this! She didn't want to imagine Naruto's reaction about it fearing for him wanting to confront and kill Sasuke _in not a literally way_…

"She's so beautiful." Sakura started sitting down on the bed spacing out and looking at the distance. Her mother sat down beside her still wrapping her with an arm protectively. Ino stood in front of her friend listening sorrowful and deeply concerned and of course, fuming in anger and imaging a lot of horrible things against someone called Sasuke Uchiha. This had really surprised her; somehow she had always thought that Sasuke was some sort of strange and unique man who wouldn't ever fall in love. It was a weird thing to believe, but Ino had always thought it. He had never really showed some sort of real and deep interest in women or anyone else, to say something. "I'm going to divorce him. There's nothing else to do."

Sakura simply said after being absent in her own deep thoughts. Her mother nodded sadly and worried but Ino frowned.

"Are you going to talk to him about it?" Sakura just looked down. "Are you just going to stay with this pain and betrayal eating you alive? Come on Sakura! You need to release this from your chest! You cannot just throw him out of your house and life and not saying all he deserves!"

Sakura stared absently at her friend and Ino found her looking like if she was half asleep and not really thinking all she was saying. She sighed deeply and concerned.

"You need to talk to him before sending him to hell like he deserves. That's what I would do if Sai was the one cheating on me. Oh heaven forbid me to live something like that… poor Sai if he _ever _dares to do that to me! If you don't say everything that it's inside you and tell him all the damage he had caused to you, you're going to get nuts forehead girl, because that's how you are. Remember that day at the hospital when Miyu was still a baby and he came back? Do you remember how you acted and all you screamed to him? Didn't that help you to try to go on? Destroy the bastard!"

Ino threw a fist to the air in a very comical way that genuinely caused Sakura to weakly chuckle. Her mother was a little shocked and scandalized staring with big eyes at the blonde but then she smiled kindly and looked at her suffering daughter.

"Ino is right in not bottling up your feelings sweetie. You don't need to push him through a window again." Sakura couldn't help to chuckle again softly and roll her eyes wondering if she was going to be remembered for that forever. "But you cannot stay with it inside and you cannot live with it always trying to get out."

Sakura seemed to think deeply in what they were saying when the doorbell rang. Ino flinched caught off guard and Sakura's mother stared worriedly at her daughter who was stunned sitting down on her place.

"Oh crap! I forgot that I called Naruto. That must be him."

Ino rolled her eyes annoyed and then left the room to open the main door. Sakura smiled softly at her mother looking calmer than before and this one noticed the steady and new decision masking her green eyes. She was about to advice her daughter when both women heard noisy and hurried steps coming towards the room and the door opened with a loud bang. Ino was there breathing heavily and with serious frowned expression and looking pale.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

Ino tried to say something to me but she babbled and then I heard other pair of steps coming to the room and in question of seconds Naruto appeared behind her waving hello with his enthusiastic voice and his warm and big grin displayed on his face. But he wasn't alone. Someone else was behind Ino and besides Naruto and when I locked my eyes on him I couldn't help to be startled a little and remain staring speechless.

Sasuke looked into my eyes with that way he only has, the way that had swallowed me every time his onyx orbs trapped my emerald ones until this day.

I caught mother's uneasiness about his presence and the quickness with she turned to me staring with big worried and shocked eyes. I understood then Ino's behavior too, she had tried to warn me about his presence in the house but Naruto and he had been quicker than her voice and her brain surely had been trying to deal with the situation. There was an uneasy and sharp silence among all of us for a little moment in time in which I recalled all that I had learned finally about that husband of mine. My feelings and thoughts came to my head storming off and my soul cried in silent suffering. My heart was beating painfully within my chest. I tried to control my breathing and the tears I could feel forming in my eyes. I had cried enough for this and I was sure that these tears were more than anything from anger than sadness. Probably I had dealt in a better way with the sadness and now it was just a thick heavy curtain covering me. But my anger was there still trying to get out through every pore of my skin that it hurt. I frowned with serious and tired pale expression and soon Naruto was the first one noticing that something was off in the room and he stared absently at the packing.

"Are you planning to go somewhere Sasuke?"

He turned to him a little confused but not really catching it. I mentally chuckled knowing once more why it had taken Hinata so long for him to _see _her really. He could be so distracted sometimes. Sasuke seemed caught off guard by his question and he looked finally studying the situation being held within the room. He furrowed his brow and fixed his stare on me with that demand he always had and could have melted me before. But not now.

"Come on, Naruto."

Ino cut in calmer and in control of herself again and I realized that she had sensed my mood and was glad for it. She nodded to me and then took Naruto by his arm and pulled him out of the room almost forcefully.

"Hey! What the hell…?"

I heard Naruto mutter and soon my mother excused herself and left too leaving me sitting down on the bed and Sasuke standing on the doorframe still wearing the same old expression of him. It took me another moment of silence to gather strength and stood up firm and decided. Listening to Ino and my mother I knew they were right, I couldn't stay quiet and just throw him out from home without venting out my feelings. I was so tired and heartbroken that I had chosen to just babble the fact to him and throw him out, not words more than the necessary, not a discussion, not crying despairingly in front of him. But I couldn't keep this pain he had caused me in the fabricated quietness of my heart because it was killing me. I couldn't believe and I didn't want to think that he was so cold to not really have a little remorse or appreciation towards me after all I had done for him. Was it wrong of me to want this? Did I sound pathetic? To hell with it. I had been in that place for so long, didn't I? Why should I start worrying about it till now? I was in all my right to reclaim him and scream my heart out to him, I was someone in his damn freaking life even if he didn't recognize it or didn't give it credit. Enough with it, I was sick and tired and exhausted from the journey and my head pumped painfully and my body ached. I didn't need to push him through a window this time, even when my most wounded inner self wanted so badly to do it, I just needed to tell him how I felt. Just a short and heartfelt conversation between a married couple that had reached their limit and was sadly ready to say goodbye.

"I want you out." I started staring straight at his eyes without quivering anymore. He frowned deeper and more confused not really understanding from where I was coming from. "I want the divorce. So you can live your life as you want, as you have been living it." I continued with steady and calm voice as my hands clutched together and I fidgeted with my fingers in a way to support myself. "I know it Sasuke."

He seemed to not really catch it and entered the room and for a brief instance I weakened thanks to his damn power over me. _Damn his magician's tricks_, but I recovered quickly and I managed to gesture to him to stop his advance on me. We were separated now from an about a meter or a little more than that. I wanted so badly to demand him to speak now that it was so damn necessary but I couldn't, the part of me that still loved him and cared about his well being held me prisoner against that wish.

"I know it Sasuke… I know about that woman, the one you visit in your escapes from the village and the one you… love." The last word was so hard to say that it almost pierced my voice but I stood my ground. I blinked the unshed bitter tears away. His black perfect eyes opened completely in utter shock after he realized what I was telling him. _I know your dirty little secret_. He was really surprised and since a long time I hadn't seen that truthful expression written all over his handsome face. So, he hadn't really expected me to know it, right? That fact only increased my anger. "I followed you this last time and watch the both of you being so _caring _to each other. Why Sasuke? Why you didn't inform me somehow that she existed?"

I was ready to not let him have his way this time. _No Sir, not this time_. I frowned deeper and seriously with the anger and the hurt of betrayal finally being expelled like transparent smoke from my body. He collected himself at last and sighed deeply staring at me with that note that told me how mad he was for my spying. _Sorry Sir, but plainly I don't care anymore. You cannot be as mad as I am now_. I narrowed my eyes knowing that my face showed clear suffering but that wasn't the feeling ruling me now. And I felt the coming of a snap taking over me.

"DON'T dare to reclaim me in any way for my actions. DON'T DARE." I said with my body going rigid with tension. "I'm glad for what I did because I finally understood everything." My voice cracked and I silenced myself to recover for a couple of seconds. "Why? Why Sasuke? Why you played this game of our marriage and home when you had someone else? Why you didn't object to this mad and pathetic plan of me? Why you let it go to this point, dammit?" Now I was raising my voice. He towered over me and kept his still and decided stance, standing there in front of me frowning and furrowing his brow with death serious expression so unreadable as always. How could I not be tired and sick of it? How could I _love _to live in this unknown territory of not being able to read him ever? "Why? Do you really dislike me so much to hurt me this way? Do you really think that I wasn't going to discover your lover ever? Do you hate me, yes, even when I cannot really and I don't want really to believe it, so much to play with me all this time? TELL ME WHY!" I was now gesturing my pain and my breathing didn't obey me anymore and my weak voice was creaking and my stupid eyes were watering against all my pride and dignity. "I had always known that you don't love me and that you won't do it ever, believe me, I had always known it, and I've been beside you in some way or other despite that, despite the way it makes me look to myself and to others, because all I had done just this freaking years was loving you!"

I spit out the last words to him staring directly at his face with shaking voice, eyes and soul. I couldn't help to sob but I wasn't done yet.

"All I had done is loving you like a mad, like a stupid, like a pathetic girl, I had forgiven you, I had given you second chances, I had sacrificed for you, I had protected you, I HAD SIMPLY LIVED FOR YOU! ONLY FOR YOU!" I paused clearly crying freely now and with broken voice that didn't stop me from keep talking and acting the way my heart demanded. "I HAVE LOVED YOU! DO YOU SEE IT? DID YOU SEE IT ONCE? I'm not asking you to love me! I'm asking you to have a little respect for this cursed feeling I had for you! I'm reclaiming you for not giving it a little importance to spare me from this useless game we've been playing like a normal human being would do! Like a real man would do! It would have been enough for me just knowing from you in some way that you were with someone else! I would have understood it! I would have tried to free myself from your influence! I would have let you be happy with her! Why you could never really notice me a little? Just a little to not break me like this, to not hurt me, to not play with my feelings… to stop hoping and expecting and wishing! Why you were such a…. I don't freaking know how to call you!... to spare me from this pain eating me alive? Do you see the pity I feel for myself? How much I despise myself for loving you despite everything? How much I cannot understand about myself and justify about my actions when you're involved? You chose to stay with me and keep the act up! That's what I cannot forgive you! That's what it really hurts here" I pointed strongly to my chest, straight to the spot where my heart was beating its way out. "inside me… not the fact that you don't love me because I had always known it and I had got used to that certain pain."

I paused briefly sobbing loudly and trying to control my shaking and uneven breathing.

"You weren't fair and you played dirty with me, Sasuke… I didn't deserve this from you, this build up show, and this illusionary hopeful scenery… I didn't deserve it… dammitt! You never really considered me a bit to at least have more value and worth in your world and inside your head… and I'm tired and sick of it… and I'm not going to keep it up… it's enough, Sasuke…"

I was so drained after my speech that the last words went out more in whispers than words. I was crying and sobbing and shaking and I couldn't get a grip on myself and I wasn't facing him now. I couldn't right now. Sasuke tried to reach out to me and grab me gently by the arms surely wanting to calm me but that act of him snapped something within me and I reacted aggressively pushing brusquely his perfect hands away.

"DON'T DARE TO TOUCH ME!" I started sneering and fuming in anger that came from true and plain hurt and when he tried to do it again with that condescending expression all over his face I only got angrier. I slapped him twice, each one in each cheek with all the strength I could gather then and the slapping sounded horribly loud in the silence of the room only interrupted by my crying and sobbing. He stumbled due to the strength imprinted in the slaps and I could see proudly how much it took him to keep his balance and not fall on the floor. A trail of blood came out from his nose and it was then that I realized I had really hit him hard, more specifically _harder _than I had guessed. The blood liquid warned me and somehow cooled me off and I couldn't help to feel a little guilty and ashamed of myself. All the remaining things that were within me somehow were shaken for this and I lost track of my charade. I was left to look like a gaping fish dying outside the ocean for a moment. Soon I heard myself crying and sobbing not knowing what to do with my mighty hands that hurt and burned after having slapping him so strongly. "Don't touch me with the hands that had caressed her and loved her in a way you won't ever do to me." I said saddened and broken. Why did I have to say that? Why did I have to sound so pathetic and like if I was begging him to do the same to me? What the hell was wrong with me? "I don't want you anymore in my house, I don't want you anymore in my life, it's just too painful to stand!" I sobbed higher and my voice broke and I couldn't help to cover my eyes with my shaking palms. My whole body was shaking from despair, suffering and disillusion. I was so disappointed, my hopes had gone down the drain, my useless dream had been destroyed, I couldn't keep waiting for him to _notice me, _to _like me, _to _love me_… now more than ever everything fell in place within the hurricane of thoughts I had inside my head, now more than ever I really understood what all this discovery meant, this _dirty little secret_ meant, what it had done to me, to my family, to my home. I had always known that it wasn't perfect and it wasn't complete or totally real, but it meant something for me, it meant everything to me, and now I knew that my husband hadn't been sincere with me and had been cheating on me. I never expected something like this from him, this disrespectful and cruel act from him. I heard myself crying quietly and desperately and I simply didn't have the strength I needed to say all the things that I was holding back still inside my mourning soul. I wanted to yell and scream so many things to him but I simply couldn't anymore. Probably if I kept like this I could only end looking a lot more pathetic than I was looking right now. I needed to have a little control and dignity, wasn't that what I needed? I couldn't really get a grip on how I should be acting when my heart was crashing without any way to stop it. I tried to calm myself and when I finally lowered my shaking pale hands from my weeping face and I glanced saddened and still angered at him I knew that I couldn't be in the same room with him anymore or I was risking myself too high. The most part of myself was dying to hold him and never let him go despite all he had done and could still do to hurt me, but I needed to fight it because it wasn't good and healthy for me, and I couldn't just be with him like if nothing happened and she didn't exist. I had to stop it right now and there. "I want the divorce…" I sputtered between sobs and tears as he watched me with serious and frowning expression. I wondered what he was feeling and thinking, as usual, and that darkened my mood. "It's over. Get out."

I sighed deeply and showed a hard expression and finally I was able to control my tears and sobbing and I was at least a little proud of myself for it. Later I would have time to scold and reprimand myself, or even console and cheer me up. Now I just needed this warlock of mine to disappear before I fell stupidly under his spell. I could see him by the corner of my blurred jade eyes staring paralyzed at me. I didn't know if he was shocked due to this unexpected confrontation I had started or if I was reading him wrongly as I had been doing a major part of my life with him. Either way it didn't matter anymore and I was exhausted and tired and sick and I just wanted to be alone and not have him there a few meters away from me, I wanted to lay in bed and stay there till I could pick up myself after healing my shattered and lonely heart. I had Miyu to think of, and I wasn't going to lose my mind for a long time when she needed me strong and healthy. I didn't have the right to lose myself in depression, not even if I didn't have a precious daughter to care of and love. Sasuke wasn't worthy, anyone wasn't worthy that. But I was a woman in love who had been betrayed and I couldn't deny me a little time to cry my heart out in misery and sorrow. I waited for him to take his belongings and exit the room and the house, but instead he surprised me, like he could do it yet despite my little knowledge of his behavior and approached me and taking me by the arms in a gentle but strong grip he pulled me against his chest and kissed my lips. I was stunned and shaken because of this unexpected and unforeseen act of him and I was so shocked that I stood there helplessly and rigid with my eyes opened and almost popping out of my skull in utter amaze. Was he really kissing me? I could feel his soft and delicious lips softly and demanding caressing mine in a very sweet and passionate way at the same time. It took me probably a few seconds to realize what he was doing and why it should bother me and made me to lose my temper. After the shock for having him holding me in that way and kissing me my heart started to flutter controlled by it and my mind lose against it for a very brief period of time in which I just enjoyed it and I really wanted it to last and to just forget everything. But then my mind wasn't tricked anymore by his antics and the hurt and sadness washed over my soul again and my heart ached in agony. So I really lost my temper and my fury came in flames and I pushed him away firmly almost making him to stumble after I slapped him hardly on the cheek. I tried to not do it like the first time, I didn't want to break his nose or something, that wasn't the point and it won't make me feel better but just worse, and I stared at him totally shocked, confused and furious.

"How dare you? What do you think I am? What do you think you are? How could you dare to kiss me when you just came back from kissing another woman? How can you do this to me? WHY SASUKE? Why are you so cruel to me? Why do you want to hurt me so badly, to punish me for just loving you honestly? Why…?"

I leaned forward shaking violently in anger and with tears in my eyes, tears born from anger and disbelief. Did I really know this man, I wonder? When he became so cynical? I frowned pointing at the door with tears rolling down my already wet cheeks.

"GET OUT."

I said with deathly serious voice controlled by will power. He had regained his composure after the slapping and pushing away and stared at me blankly with frowning expression and lips in a tight line. His onyx eyes looked different for a couple of seconds but I didn't care anymore. Probably the stupid part of me was still trying to make this mess right, to find something worthy, and to have something to feed the hope. Sasuke's expression softened till it was nothing more than his common usual façade and I had to face his burning gaze on me without weakening and bent over crying in misery. His cheeks were slightly red due to the slapping but he had dried the blood coming out from his nose even before he had dared to kiss me. He didn't look as awful as I had seen him the first time I had slapped him and that guiltily make me feel glad. I was so stupid to care about his well being even after all. He didn't take his belongings that I had packed and were ready on the bed and just turned around after casting a last long and straight look on me and walked towards the opened door with firm and steady pace. I folded my arms against my throbbing chest keeping my sobbing to myself even if the tears keep rolling down and I looked the other way waiting him to go. He stopped on the doorframe and glanced back at me just when I was looking askance at him and for a moment I thought he was going to say something, when I looked at his lips moving and my heart was caught in my throat. I really wanted him to say something but I knew what prize he would have to pay and I couldn't really find enough fury within me to cause him that kind of harm. But he appeared to desist in it and just left the room in his now eternal quietness. When I couldn't watch his back anymore I couldn't help to start crying again but not with anger or fury this time, just utter and total despair and sadness. I had thought many times before in ending this marriage because it was the right thing to do for all of us, but I had never expected to do it for a reason like this and in this hurtful way. Not shouting and discussing.

I sat down on the bed as I cried freely my heart out and I covered my face with my hands letting everything to catch up with me. It was undeniable not to do it anyway. I had lost the little part I had had of the love of my life, the prince of my dreams, the husband I always wanted, and I had to dealt with the meaning of his soon and abrupt absence of my life.

* * *

_Ino POV_

I had to explain everything to Naruto when I had gotten him out of the room. Sakura's mom soon followed my lead but she decided to pick up Miyu from Kurenai-sensei's house where she was spending time with Asuma-chan. She looked as distressed as me and Sakura, and truly concerned and anxious. I had to restrain Naruto after he had listened to me from bursting into the room and beat Sasuke up into a pulp, and I had to force him to understand that this was a matter of the both, Sasuke and Sakura, and we couldn't meddle right now. So he waited with me with that expression that is so rare to see in him for us, his friends, that serious and angry face, that confused and shocked face, and we both waited sitting silently on the living room of the Uchiha home concerning over the couple arguing in one of the rooms of the house. I was as angry as Naruto was for Sasuke's cheating and lying, and I could understand Sakura's viewing over all this. It was not the fact that he didn't love her that had really broken her and hurt her like this, it was the act of playing with her feelings that had done that. The secrecy. Sasuke hadn't been sincere with her about his love life and that was what Sakura couldn't forgive. Was he really such a coward to marry her and live with her fearing the Council's actions having already someone in his life? I was musing over this entire painful and surprising situation when after a long moment Naruto and I heard someone coming and we watched Sasuke appearing by the hall. We both stood up immediately tense and stressed out and I realized that Sakura had slapped him. Good, he deserved it. But he was looking calm and collected as always and that angered me. I could see Naruto trembling out of anger and confusion just as Sasuke walked towards the main door without really noticing us. I buffed and frowned annoyed by his attitude and Naruto called him with serious and controlled voice. He was using all his will to not go and beat him right then and there.

"Why you did it, Sasuke?" Naruto asked hissing and fuming out of himself. "Why you cheated on Sakura? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Sasuke stopped abruptly but didn't turn nor did anything to respond to Naruto's yelled questioning. I sighed deeply expecting something like this from him but it really didn't lessen the anger and disappointment I felt. Sakura didn't deserve this, not when she had done so much for him. At least he should have respected that. Naruto took a few steps towards Sasuke in a dangerous and fighting way but after closing his eyes a couple of seconds and taking a deep breathe when he opened his blue eyes he looked a lot calmer even when his expression was deathly serious. I knew that Naruto was trying to keep control and not act impulsively. He had to be very affected by this; after all, we were talking about the two persons he was the closest to and his former team. He cared a lot about the both and he was in the middle of their situation. I couldn't help imagining in what state Sakura was right now and that clutched my heart.

"Sakura doesn't deserve this. I cannot blame you for not returning her feelings, even when I think you're an idiot and stupid for not doing it, but the heart wants what it wants, but I cannot stay silent when you don't have even a little of respect for her feelings and all she had done for you, something you had let her done for you, anyway." That was very true. Sasuke had agreed in marrying her to keep him safe and protect him, he could have said no but he hadn't. He had agreed in sharing his life with her despite the saddest fact that he didn't love her and just for agreeing into it he had the obligation to at least respect her, so I thought like Naruto. Why he couldn't at least do something as little as that? If he wanted another woman he could have informed my friend of it and everything had just ended in the better way, even if Sakura had ended with a broken heart but she would have known the truth. "You don't deserve to be loved for her. You don't deserve to have her love when you hadn't cherished her feelings, not returning them, but at least caring for them. Probably this is the better. At least you won't keep hurting her if you disappeared from her life."

Naruto sighed deeply again and I could see his furrowed brow and his fists balled tightly. He wanted to punch Sasuke and I could see it in his trembling and tense body. Sasuke finally turned around and looked at us with defiant and cold gaze. It seemed that Naruto snapped finally and he couldn't control himself anymore and punched him hardly in a second. I screamed out of surprise and Sasuke flew through the room and crashed against the wall. His nose was bleeding. I stayed wide eyed staring between the two men worried and angry. He surely deserved it for hurting my friend like that and I was glad that Naruto had finally acted even when I knew that violence wasn't the solution but it really felt right and I couldn't deny it. Naruto remained still and staring down at Sasuke with fists balled tightly yet and intense furious blue orbs. In another time probably he would have gone on screaming and beating him into a pulp but somehow I knew that this time Naruto was angrier than ever. He was deeply hurt for what Sasuke had done to Sakura and it was in such a way that his control and seriousness was ten times worse than his impulsiveness and screaming. I was concerned staring at him noticing this and I suddenly felt the sadness that this discovery had caused not only in Sakura but in Naruto too. Sadness for my friend who hadn't attained what she had always wanted with all her soul. For knowing that she was crying with her heart broken into million of pieces. Sasuke got up slowly with his hand against his face trying to control the bleeding and watching Naruto with cold demanding eyes. Somehow I could see something else in those eyes but I couldn't really relate what it was and frankly I gave a damn right now.

"Don't dare to hurt Miyu-chan in the same way you've been doing to her mother." Our blond friend said with serious and monotone voice and balled shaking fists. Naruto was _deathly serious _now and I looked at him worried and sympathetic. I could relate to his feelings but I knew that they probably were more intense when he had spent a major part of his life with Sasuke and Sakura than me. "Be a damn freaking good father to her. Don't dare to disappoint her or make her cry, Sasuke, don't even think about it, because I won't be as _peaceful _as I am right now."

Sasuke stared absently at Naruto for a couple of minutes before parting from the house that had been his home without giving us any clue of what he was feeling or thinking, as usual. I suddenly noticed that I was silently crying after my body had lost the tension. I sobbed covering my quivering chin with my hands and Naruto turned to me still looking serious but sadder and sorrowful and wrapped an arm around my shaking shoulders. I didn't exactly know why I was crying but I felt sad due to the situation. When I heard Naruto talking about Miyu I couldn't help to realize how this was going to affect her now or later and that clutched my heart. This little girl was going to know a lot as long as she was growing up and she was going to get hurt by it in some way or other. I tried to calm myself after I suffered that unexpected outburst as Naruto consoled me quietly and suffering in the privacy of his mind. We both remained there trapped in our inner world and wondering if someday Sakura was going to have the happy ending she and her daughter deserved and knowing that we were going to be there for the both till it came finally into their way where it seemed that Sasuke was out of the picture for good.

* * *

_Naruto POV_

The fact that the Uchiha marriage was falling apart soon was spread all around Konoha like the _good _gossiping did. I tried to be closer to Sakura than before and Hinata followed my lead sincerely concerned and sad for her. All of us were quite surprised and shocked still after knowing for first hand what had happened between Sasuke and Sakura. The people outside our circle didn't really know the details as us, they simply thought that the marriage wasn't real and true since the beginning and even when that angered us because it dragged the Council's attention back to not only Sasuke this time, but to Sakura too, it didn't really mattered when her suffering was more important than the stupid gossiping and murmuring. Right now Sakura's sake was the most important thing to us and we were truly baffled by Sasuke's actions and truth. When we were together and Sakura wasn't with us we couldn't help to discuss the situation and wonder about it angered and confused. How could I have not a clue about this woman of him? I felt angry with myself for not noticing any sign even when Hinata and Ino told me that it wasn't my fault but I couldn't help it. Dammit! Why Sasuke had to do this?

Sakura was really doing a great effort to be in one piece and keep doing her daily life and be strong to the world outside her. When she was with the girls she relaxed a little, Hinata said, and she was able to cry and mourn and be a little her own hurt self, something she surely desperately needed like any other would need in this kind of situation. Even when I was with her she did the same but I could understand that I wasn't Ino for example and I was happy and glad that at least she could vent out her feelings with me in some way even if it wasn't as deeper as it was with the girls. Somehow I sensed she didn't want me to decide who I supported in this, if she or Sasuke, but I assured her that it was her with whom I was because I felt it that way. Days went on and we all tried to be there, Sasuke disappeared from our life and Kakashi-sensei told us that he was living back at what remained of the old Uchiha household. That worried me a little, I had to confess, but I was so disappointed and hurt for his actions towards Sakura that I didn't try to go and see him and talk him to sense like other times. I needed time too, to look at him and talk to him not wanting so much to punch him and scream at him for his behavior. For Sakura's behalf we all decided to kept quiet about Sasuke's cheating on her, we didn't want her to be the joke around the village for it, we didn't want that for Miyu either. In that case it was better if everyone thought that their marriage had been fake since the beginning, something that it was true unfortunately to the end, so we let the people gave their own theories about it. I couldn't help to be sad and affected whenever I looked at Sakura and I noticed that she had been crying and that she was deeply hurt within but still I tried my best to make her feel better and make her smile and laugh even with my common sense of humor and an optimist that it was very hard to find in me these days. Having Hinata with me was a realm of strength and peace that helped me through it, to help my friend in need, and I dearly loved her for it and for a lot more. Kakashi-sensei was the only one who had tried to talk to Sasuke but of course, it had been useless because Sasuke hadn't listened to him. Tsunade-sama was brimming in fury but didn't meddle and respected Sakura's wishes to just let him be. Shizune was just as amazed and stunned like the rest of my friends, Gai-sensei and Kurenai-sensei couldn't believe it but they were more worried about Sakura and Miyu and Anko-san had exploded just like I would have done if I hadn't been so damn affected by it. Yamato-sensei had immediately started to investigate how the Council would react to this, it was his way to support and protect Sakura.

Right now I was waiting for Sakura and Hinata to go and grab a bite together. We had invited her to come with us when it was her lunch time at work and she had immediately accepted. Ino said that it was her way to go on and that she didn't want to be alone with her mind over thinking. We could understand that. Tomorrow she was going to go out shopping with the girls and I thought that was the best for her to do now, to try to get over this deep and wounding sadness and go on with her life little by little. Maybe the day after tomorrow we could convince her to go for dinner to Kiba's place.

I sighed worriedly as I waited for them to arrive to our dated spot and I kept reminding that moment with Sasuke. I couldn't believe him; I couldn't believe that he could be the cruel bastard some people talked of. It hurt me to think it and more believe it, he was my friend after all, I had done everything in my power to recuperate his friendship, to safe him from his own darkness, to help him to look to the future, and I hadn't done really anything to gain any of that in truth. What had happened to Sakura had made me wonder what I was for him in his world. Was I so replaceable, so little and unworthy to have a place in his life when Sakura was like this and she was more important than me?

"What are you doing here?"

Sakura's high pitched voice snapped me out of my deep thoughts and I frowned worried noticing the hurt in her words and tone. Immediately I looked around for her and Hinata and I found them in the middle of the way towards me standing and facing a third woman on the street. Fortunately there weren't a lot of people around in this area of the village and I stared serious and confused at them wondering what was going on. Hinata was holding Sakura back by her arms and looking deeply concerned at her and the other woman. Sakura was fuming in anger and hurt and stared shocked and half fighting my girlfriend's grip with tensed stance. I walked quickly over to them and I wrapped an arm around Sakura's shoulders in support and wanting to calm her. She seemed to feel it because she calmed down a bit but kept frowning serious and hurt at the other woman who watched then at me for a couple of minutes with total tranquility and serious expression. She had red hair and grey eyes and was beautiful but older than us. Something started to click inside my head when I noticed better the situation before my confused and serious eyes. This woman was…

"Sasuke is not longer with me. Go and look for him in other place." Sakura said finally sorrowful but with calm and I noticed that she hadn't sounded angered anymore and was trying to act maturely despite the way her eyes watered and her expression showed emotional pain. She looked somehow a little annoyed and a little blush had covered her cheeks for a couple of minutes. I wondered if she felt embarrassed for acting this way before I had calmed her down. "Go and find him." She paused briefly and gestured to us to free her and we did it immediately trusting that she was sure. She blinked sadly but resigned and turned around. "Make him happy."

Sakura said surprising Hinata and me for her honesty and the way her expression softened despite everything that was going on here. She loved Sasuke still and at the end she wanted the best for him, even if it was for another woman and not her. That crushed my heart and I wondered what she was really feeling and thinking to have said that to this unknown woman. Hinata and I exchanged concerned looks and Sakura started to walk the other way leaving the woman behind. We prepared to follow her but the woman sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a little moment before talking.

"Wait." She said with damn pretty voice. "I need to talk with you."

"I don't have anything to talk with you." Sakura answered immediately with fragile voice. I stared angrily at the woman, how could she ask that of Sakura when she was clearly destroying her with her presence here? Hinata took me by the hand obviously worried and trying to calm me in the same way I had done with Sakura moments before. "Please, don't insist."

Sakura tried to walk again but the woman this time caught her by her arm stopping her. I watched shocked and still angry at the woman and Hinata looked alarmed at Sakura's reaction.

"Let go of me."

Sakura demanded with furrowed brow and serious voice. She looked so drained and so resigned that it hurt me just staring at her like that. She had given up.

"No, till you listen to me."

Sakura chuckled sarcastically and weakly and tried to free herself from the woman's grip.

"I said, let go of me!"

She finally screamed with creaking voice after she couldn't get free and the woman obeyed sighing again with narrowed eyes and preoccupied face. I could see Sakura's blurred eyes and quivering lips and that angered me but when I was about to say something to this woman she talked first saying something that shocked all of us.

"Do you want to know how I met your husband? Do you want to know how he got sick? Do you want to know what his strange illness is? Do you want to know why he came to me?"

I stayed there wide eyed just as Hinata and Sakura and speechless. What was this woman saying? Sakura frowned between confusion and curiosity, still untrusting and serious. She didn't want any more hurt, I could see it, but what this woman was saying couldn't stop us from wondering about it. Sasuke…

"Wha… what are you… saying?"

Sakura could barely ask her coming forward to the woman with slow pace and demand. In her eyes she was demanding this woman to not play with her anymore. Hinata and I, still holding hands, exchanged looks between our friend and the unknown person in front of us saying things that were irremediably important to us. I faced her dead serious and warning her to not hurt Sakura.

"What you heard." The woman said after confronting my intense look. Her expression softened and she looked truly concerned and remorseful. "Do you want to know at least some part of what had happened to him? I can tell you."

My breathing was caught at my throat just as I could see it happened to Sakura. I waited beside Hinata to my friend to give a final answer as she decided it standing there frowning with firm green look of decision. What she would say?


	25. Dreaming

**I'M SO SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I REALLY MEANT WHAT I SAID IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTE I LEFT MONTHS AGO, BUT MY MUSE WASN'T WORKING WITH ME AND THEN I HAD OTHER THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT I REALLY MEANT IT TOO WHEN I SAID THAT I WANT TO FINISH THIS STORY. **

**NOW I UPDATED THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER, IT'S ALMOST COMPLETED BUT I WANTED TO GIVE YOU AT LEAST SOMETHING, EVEN IF IT'S LITTLE, SORRY, TILL I CAN FINISH IT AND OUTLINE THE LAST CHAPTERS. TAKE THIS AS A TRAILER OR PREVIEW XD AND I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL OF YOU WHO HAD READ THIS STORY, REVIEWED IT, PUT IN THEIR FAVORITES'S LISTS AND ALL YOU KINDLY DO FOR IT, REALLY, YOU MADE MY DAYS :D AND I'LL ANSWER TO THE LAST REVIEWS WHEN I PUT THIS CHAPTER COMPLETED, I SWEAR! THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR BEING THERE AND KEEP ASKING ME TO GO ON, I WISH YOU THE BEST IN ALL YOU DO GUYS :)**

**WELL, THIS IS AN "EXCERPT" FROM CHAPTER 25 AND SOON IT WILL BE COMPLETED AND THE STORY WILL RUN TILL ITS END! **

**Chapter 25 **

**Dreaming**

_Sakura POV_

"_Do you want to know why he came to me?"_

Strangely enough that was the question that lingered within the pained realm of my mind. It wasn't the one that related to how she had met him or the ones concerning about his illness, no, it wasn't. Somehow as I stood there silent and still, staring at that beautiful young woman and with the support of my friends behind me, I realized sadly that it was _that _the most important thing to my hurt inner self that needed some sort of damn freaking explanation. I chuckled melancholically within me feeling like if the time had slowed down and I had all the time left to ponder about everything again. But the logical part of my brain knew that it wasn't like that, and that everything was happening fast and I needed to act. I knew that her last questioning really included all the first ones she had asked, but I couldn't help to give more importance to that specific one.

"_Do you want to know why he came to me?"_

It was such a simple question and yet so complex. I wondered anxious and broken what could have driven him to meet this particular person I had in front of me, what reasons had lead him to her, and why he had kept visiting and loving her. Why he had chosen her and not me? Why he had gone after her for so long? What she had that I couldn't ever dream of having? Why he could love her and not me? Why he corresponded to her caresses, kisses and embraces? What I lacked to equal her?

My eyes felt watery and I had to suppress the intense sob that fought to get free through my hurting throat. I really had to use all I have left, of my will power and dignity, to not burst into tears and break down once more in front of her. I had to brace myself and even tense a little to give myself courage to stand there without spilling a single tear or show any sign of my inner endless suffering. Then I wondered if it was really important to listen to her, to try to be patient and understand, to try to give another chance and hope a little bit again, once again. Did it really matter if I say "yes" to this person? Was it worthy to listen to it, the truth it seemed finally, when I knew, because I knew it in my heart of hearts that the truth was going to finish me off?

I had survived the last days and nights trying to pick up myself from the floor where I just wanted to lay crying silently, because I didn't have the strength left to do it loudly, trying to pick up the broken pieces that he hadn't broken yet till I had knew about her. I had tried to be strong and go on for myself and for Miyu's sake, for my friends and my mother, to show them that I could do it, that it wasn't the end of the world, because it wasn't, the cold and reasonable part of my battered soul knew it, it wasn't the end of my life just because my husband, the man I had loved for so long, had cheated on me and had chosen other who wasn't me and wasn't going to be me ever.

I didn't want to be that kind of women, who goes with the pain and stop their life and their future just because the love of her life wasn't meant to be with them. I hated myself for just thinking in me being one of those, because life was more than that now that I had my daughter with me, because I had other things to take care of and other persons to think about, but I could understand them, oh yes, I could, because my chest hurt echoing my heart, and I felt such sorrow, sadness and disappointment, besides jealousy and anger, that I could understand what could drive them to that point. That was why I had fought so hard to go on with my life and busy myself with my job, Miyu, my friends and my mother's company, that was why I wanted, really wanted, to start a new path away from Sasuke, just as I should have done it a long time ago if I would have only the firm resolution to do it.

But I could relate with what those women felt because I felt like that. And I couldn't blame them for thinking that the world was ending. Probably I was just being a drama queen and overreacting, and perhaps that was because I had expected so much from Sasuke and I had put our situation higher than it was, maybe I had hoped so much to a miracle between us to happen due to everything that we had lived through together, and I had waited and waited not really believing that something like this could happen and it could end the illusionary fairytale of our faked marriage. When I had considered that Sasuke could have found another woman to really love I had never really wanted to believe it possible.

Was I the one who thought that he was incapable of loving someone when in fact he was doing it already? Was I the one who created that belief? Did I see Sasuke really to believe him incapable of loving someone or did I just follow the flow? That saddened me a little. Maybe I had thought him so deep in the darkness that I hadn't really thought probable that love could find its way through it towards his heart. Probably my heart had made it up to keep me dreaming and hoping.

I couldn't help either the fact that I felt that I was doing such a big deal when in all my life I had known this could surely happen in some way or another. Wasn't I prepared to face it now that I had it facing me straight to the eyes? Probably this woman could give him the happiness I had never given to him, maybe she held the secret answer to unlock his frozen heart, perhaps she could give him the children he wanted without fearing that sleeping with her could give her the idea she was loved because she already knew it. Was I really in position to be acting this way and feeling such things and thinking such thoughts? I was the wife, sure, that gave me something, but in fact I couldn't really blame him for finding someone else who he loved truly. I had known the truth about his feelings towards me, whatever they were, they weren't of love, and I had been building castles on the air out of hope and expectation.

I wondered sadly if I had really believed that someday he could have loved me or if I had attached to that belief just because I couldn't sincerely let him go. If in all this time he hadn't developed feelings towards me, real and profound feelings, how could have not expect this woman to appear in his life? He had done wrong in keeping her away and like a dirty little secret, that was true, but he hadn't done wrong in finding someone who he really loved and cared for.

Suddenly I realized that despite everything my soul was glad of one thing, and that was that he _could love_. He _could love _and he _would be loved_ in return. With me it was me the one loving him, just that. He wasn't as damaged as everyone could think or theorize, he still could see love, and that mere words somehow eased my broken soul. Someone loved him beside me and he loved that someone in return. Strangely enough and with the sadness dripping from every word forming my thoughts, I couldn't help to feel relief and smile sadly and softly within me. In all the turmoil living in my head, my heart and my soul, among the anger, jealousy, sorrow, disappointment, sadness and despair I found relief too. A little part of me was honestly glad that he had found someone and I didn't know if I was being masochist or stupid for feeling it and discovering it, but I couldn't deny it.

Was I then letting him go and wishing him the best? It wasn't exactly like that, because I wasn't so good to be feeling it, but somehow I knew that finally I had lost the battle trying to win his heart and I could breathe and go on without useless hope, she had won him, he was hers, and I was the one who had the job to let him go and get used to the idea of him staying with someone else. I was angry yet, sure I was, due to the lie and the pretense, but I felt at ease for finally discovering that my blurry fairytale had come to an end and that I was forced to take the decision I had delayed because I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to stop loving him and wanting him around; I _hadn't _tried a little to keep him out of my world. We were going to be connected forever through Miyu and that was an undeniable truth, but I had to leave the role of his wife obligatorily.

Now looking at the situation after days and nights venting out my feelings and sorting out my thoughts I could see it more logically and with a head colder than before. The lingering feeling that I knew it wasn't going to wear out ever was the sadness I felt for not being her, but I knew that the other feelings were going to dismiss or change with time and space. I wasn't ready to forgive him for his lie and secret and I didn't know if I was going to be capable of forgiving him, because I had always known the truth and I was to blame for a part for it and he must had had his reasons, even if they were stupid or useless, but it still hurt me and angered me. My jealousy was eating me softly but I kept it in control. So I wondered again if listening to this woman was going to help me in some way.

_This was the end of our journey¸ _I told myself smiling sadly and inwardly and knowing that I was facing the moment I didn't want to face but I had pictured many times inside my head. I hadn't thought that the existence of this woman was going to catalyze it but if it had happened like this there had to be a reason to be it. And besides, I was genuinely curious about her questioning and I couldn't help to feel still worried about him. I loved him, yes, against everything and despite everything and I cared deeply and really for his well-being. Damn me and this cursed love. So I took a deep breath and with a serious frown furrowing my brow and tight lips for a mouth I nodded to the stranger with my green eyes locked in hers. I heard the gasp Naruto let out and she just nodded back at me serious and understanding. So I braced myself and taking a deep breath I started my way back to some place where I could listen to the truth with my two silent and worried friends and that unknown and mysterious stranger on my heels.

* * *

_Sakura POV_

While we were on our way I realized that I couldn't take her to my house, the house where Sasuke had performed the part of my husband, _mine, _but Hinata had noticed it too and she had suggested to me and to Naruto to go to his place. Somehow it was a better place, private and it wasn't the home that was going to finalize its shattering thanks to the words this woman was going to speak, and it wasn't the Hyuuga Compound where a lot of people walked all day. Naruto had agreed immediately knowing why his girlfriend had asked him permission and we settled our way with quick and silent pace. I knew that some people had noticed that we were accompanied by a stranger, a pretty young woman dressed in a different way women dress in Konoha and I knew that gossiping and rumors were going to spread in a blink of an eye.

I wondered sadly if Sasuke was going to listen to one of them, and then I wondered curiously if he knew that _she _was here. I glanced back slightly at the woman walking beside me just a few steps behind mine wondering if she had already met him or if she had told him that she was going to talk to me. I could only find resolution and seriousness in her pretty features, so I put my eyes on the street ahead of me feeling the nagging jealousy wanting to rip me apart. Yes, I was jealous, it was logical; he was the love of my life, right? I consoled myself smirking sadly inwardly. Probably I was going to feel some jealousy forever even when sadness was going to reign my life from now on.

When we arrived at Naruto's place immediately we settled ourselves around his small living room and Hinata offered us something to drink, including _her, _and we all took some tea before starting the waited talk. I stared anxious and tense at the woman as she settled herself on her seat in front of me and my friends. I was trapped in my endless thoughts and intense feelings and I didn't really put a lot of attention in the awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere around the four of us. I could feel Naruto and Hinata's worried and serious stares on me and on the woman, but they didn't dare to say anything and I thanked them for that. I was very conscious how it was surely taking from my blond best friend to not yell and speak his mind out, because I knew that Hinata was a little more insightful than him, and I knew that surely he was dying within wanting to scream his anger and disappointment to this woman and vent out how hurt he was too for Sasuke's behavior.

I wondered then if some of my other friends knew already what was going on. Did someone have alerted Sasuke if he was unaware of the visit of his love that she was here and reunited with his wife? My heart cringed painfully at the question and I breathed deeply and I stared absently at the hot liquid swirling within the mug in my hands. I needed to be brave and I couldn't be delaying this anymore. After what this woman had to said, everything was going to change and be definitive and I was going to lose Sasuke forever. I wanted to cry suddenly in an outburst of despair and sorrow, and I had to make an enormous effort to control myself and blink my tears away from my slightly blurred eyes.

After few minutes in tense and unnerving silence inside the small room I felt at least comforted having there my friends that made me feel more confident and strong, something I desperately needed and with each passing minute increased I realized it when I felt nervous and hopeless. There was a moment when I had wanted to stand up and left the room and that woman behind without listening to her and _her truth _about Sasuke, but I couldn't be the same old coward and weak Sakura, I needed to know even if it was for the worst. I was fed up with the speculations and theories, I was sick and tired of the uncertainty and the suffering, I couldn't keep thinking over and over about the same old thing whenever my mind tricked me and drifted away in its own will to the same old thoughts and feelings, to the shattered heart that longed for the one that belonged to someone else already.

I didn't want more the pain and sorrow, I wanted the truth to cry it out away from my heart and to go on living, I needed it desperately even if it caused in me so much fear that I couldn't breathe. Fear for losing him, for not having the little I had now of him, for not being able to see him coming back home, for not being able to see him when the morning came, or when the night arrived, when we met inside our house and we exchanged polite looks, nods and smiles from my part. But this was the end, this was the part of our path that would be divided from now on, this was the final outcome of all.

This was the point of no return.

"It's not what you think."

The woman started interrupting my silent charade after leaving her mug on top of the table in the middle of the room with softness and glancing equally at me and my friends. I wanted to retort at that but after I had opened my mouth and before I could mouth any word possible, wearing a mad frown and angry look, she stopped me with a gesture of her hand and apologizing look. Hinata was sitting by my left side while Naruto was sitting by the right one and I could notice that he was as fiery as me with her first words. Only the Hyuuga heiress could keep her posture and calm and she gripped my hand on hers staring calmly and observant at the woman in front of us. It was like if she was asking me to not lose my mind so soon and I thanked her and I did the same for Naruto. He immediately relaxed after I clutched his shaking hand on mine.

"I'm sorry; probably I made a poor choice for my first words." She apologized this time verbally and she sighed somehow looking tired and thoughtful, like if she was trying to find the perfect way to explain herself. "I met Sasuke Uchiha time ago, some months before you got pregnant."

That caught me by surprise and I shot open my eyes widely staring disbelieving at her. Another impulsive reaction wanted to get out of my screaming soul as the thought of not being first in his life collapsed into me, I was horribly angry and upset and sad, but again the support of my two friends comforted me and somehow something in the eyes of the beautiful stranger told me to _wait, _to wait for more explanation, for more words to come out of her mind. Was I seeing things? Was I being masochistic for wanting some way to explain that I needed to listen to her? Was I expecting some sort of twisted miracle to come and deprive me from this pain I couldn't wash out from me? Had he been with me and had he gotten me pregnant when he was already with her?

"But as I told you, it's not what you think, and I'm not his affair, nor his dirty mistress, secret seductress or any other role you could put on me."

She said calmly and with dead serious voice looking straight at the three of us, but locking eyes with me. I stared confused and speechless at her wondering if she was telling the truth, retelling the story within my searing in pain brain of watching the both together, and some part of me rebelled against her asseveration and wanted to force me to stand up and slap her and obligate her to tell the truth, to say that she was his lover, that he had forced her to lie to me because he needed our marriage to not dissolve in his benefit, that part wanted to call her liar and much worse, but another part of me, somehow paralyzed my entire being and left me there staring confused and aching at her wondering if she could be telling the truth.

Could she? Did somehow I always know that Sasuke was incapable of hurting me in such way, despite being who he was, but I had wanted to believe in the scheme before my eyes that day for some reason? Was that reason the fact that I needed to end this marriage because I couldn't live with it anymore, not having his love, not being the happy married couple I wanted to be, like Shikamaru and Temari were? Was that reason the fact that I had lost all hope possible and I had made myself lose against the image this woman represented? Did I think that I needed for her to exist in his life to rationalize our sort of marriage, his strange behavior, and the thing that he didn't love me but sometimes he had seemed to feel something for me, in those weak moments when we had kissed or we made love?

"I met Sasuke Uchiha, _your husband, _thanks to my mother."

**I KNOW IT, I'M EVIL FOR LETTING IT LIKE THIS XD NOW, SORRY :P I HOPE IT'S A GOOD CLIFFHANGER!**


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