Brokeback Mountain 1. Arrival

**The Power of Love**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters – they are the creation of Annie Proulx. The story of Brokeback Mountain is hers too – I'm just giving my version of it for no profit, just for fun and curiosity!  I don't mean any disrespect at all ^^**

** I'm adding parts, taking away parts, expanding parts, exaggerating parts and just plain making up some parts in this. I love the original Brokeback Mountain story so I'm not doing this to make it any better – I just wanted to do a multi chapter Jack/Ennis story and have some fun with them**

Chapter 1 - Arrival

It must have been the hottest morning of the year yet. The Sun seemed like it had drifted closer to the Earth, its rays were so warm, and the little breeze that was creeping tiredly through the trees was just as balmy, moving the dust in irritating patterns around Ennis Del Mar's feet. He'd been walking for only a couple of minutes, considering the truck he had hitched a ride in had spluttered out of life a way down the road, but it already felt like much too long. His blonde curly hair was itching annoyingly underneath his hat, his feet were cramping inside his leather boots and his dark jeans were sticking to his legs, making it uncomfortable to move them.

He hoped it wasn't too far until he reached the trailer where he was meant to be meeting his new boss. A summer tending to sheep had seemed like a good idea back home, where him and Alma were slowly running out of money, but now he was here in the hot and wide-stretching mountains, the notion was rapidly losing its appeal. Sure, they needed money to get married in the winter yet they could have easily made it other ways. Why did he have to go and open his mouth and suggest going to work up at Brokeback? He should have listened to his brother and gone to work at his ranch.

Frustrated, he kicked a stray stone and watched it tumble into the road, scattering dirt. It sure did seem very lonely up here. Apart from the driver of the truck he had been in for what felt like an eternity before he got kicked out, he hadn't seen anyone else. He hoped it wasn't going to be like this up on the mountain – it'd be nice to have someone with him. Of course, he'd worked alone before but never in a place this huge and threatening-looking. Suddenly, the thought that he was making a mistake got even stronger.

But then, up ahead, he saw the outline of a trailer against the throbbing spot of the Sun and shielding his eyes, he knew it must be the one. There was nobody else around for miles. So, drawing in a shaking breath, he lurched forward again and willed his feet to walk a little further up the dusty track to the caravan.

There was, as he feared, nothing else up there. No other cars or trucks or people waiting around so, with a disappointed sinking of his heart, he realised he'd be on his own on Brokeback. Just a tent and the sheep to keep him company. Great, he thought, this is exactly what I want. Should have gone to my brother.

Sighing, he stopped outside the trailer and leant up against it, squinting in the blazing afternoon heat. Alma had warned him it was going to be hot this summer but he had ignored her and shoved on his jacket anyway, saying it got colder the higher up you were. However, now it seemed the stark opposite of that. He swore it felt a hundred times cooler down where they lived than up here.

Cursing himself again for deciding to do this job, he ripped his jacket off impatiently and threw it over his arm, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt underneath to allow fragments of the slightly cool breeze onto his skin. Much to his displeasure, it did nothing to take away the sticky heat but then just as he swore at the area around in frustration, there was the sound of a wheezing engine behind him and a battered old pick-up truck bounced its way unstably into the dusty space in front, making defeated whining noises. Ennis watched it use its last amount of energy to drive up to the rugged iron wall surrounding the site and then immediately stall, the motor dying in an instant.

At the scene, no matter how painful it was to watch, Ennis's heart lifted momentarily. He hoped that the driver of the poor vehicle was another man waiting for a job up on the mountain but there was a fair chance of it being his new boss. Yet, if it was, he'd still have been a little entertained. If the guy arrived in a coughing old pick-up truck, he sure wouldn't have been doing a lot to give himself a powerful image.

Fiddling nervously with his jacket, Ennis looked up from beneath the rim of his hat and watched as a man staggered out of the car's front door and walked around it, kicking the tyres irritably. He didn't look like a boss type of person at all so Ennis immediately took him to be a hopeful for a job around here. At first glance, he seemed a bit cocky and full of himself and immediately, he lived up to that expectation, stopping by the side of the vehicle and placing one hand on his hip, glancing at Ennis through the shadows his hat was making. To start with, Ennis didn't look back, refusing to meet this other guy's eyes. He didn't seem all that friendly, by the way he was standing, all full of himself, and for a while, Ennis thought he'd rather be alone up on the mountain than share it with this man.

Yet then, after the atmosphere around them felt like it was getting tighter and tighter, more awkward at every moment, Ennis finally peered up a little, seeing the other guy was looking in another direction, his hand still gripping the side of the truck. Interested, he drew his hat down a little more so he wouldn't see him watching, and let his eyes curiously drift over him.

He now saw that he was about his age, tall and strong-looking, with dark messy hair and the air of a man who had done this before. Ennis didn't know how that made him feel – on one hand, if he was working with this guy up on the mountain then he'd be experienced and aware of what he was doing but also, he'd be even more afraid of his actions in case he did something that proved he wasn't as sure and steady as him. After all, he wanted to give a good impression of himself, no matter how silly that seemed to him at the moment.

But, as the man turned his head back around to look at the window of the trailer beyond, his thoughts softened a little. He didn't look as arrogant as he first thought he would be at all, instead just confident. His eyes were deep and positive but as Ennis continued to take him in, he realised they were also quite warm, tinged with a blue that seemed to reflect the colours of the afternoon sky, maybe even brighter. Surrounding them were surprisingly long eyelashes, thin yet still quite dark, highlighted against the rosy glow of his cheeks.

A little way below his eyes was his mouth, slightly open at the time and a light pink colour. His lips were glistening a little with moist in the dazzling Sun and even from over by the trailer, Ennis could see how full they were, almost like a girl's. In fact, not even Alma had a mouth like that – Ennis found himself momentarily captivated by it. But then a wet tongue suddenly darted over them and he quickly looked away, realising he had been staring. He didn't want to seem strange on his first day.

But, after a while, the other guy finally shifted his gaze and pulled himself up onto the truck, perching on the edge of it. Ennis shuffled on his feet a little and still not glancing up, moved towards the steps of the trailer, sinking down onto them and placing his small bag of necessities beside him. Alma had basically packed them in for him – he never knew what or what not to take on journeys, let alone long summers of work. It was a good job he had her otherwise he'd probably be left with just one shirt and a sock.

Suddenly, there was movement in the caravan behind him and the door was thrown open, narrowly missing the back of his head. He immediately jumped to his feet and saw the other man slide from the truck, lacing his fingers through his belt loops. Standing in front of them, on the threshold of the trailer was a man, at least in his mid to late 40's, looking rather irritated and temperamental. Seeing the pair of boys waiting around outside, he frowned with two bushy eyebrows and scowled, gruffly telling them to follow him. Saying goodbye to any chance of going home, Ennis trudged up the short flight of steps and passed through the creaking door, noticing a sign on it that said 'J. Aguirre' and something about trespassers. The other man entered after him and they closed the door behind them.

Inside, it wasn't any cooler, even with the whirring fan in the corner of the cramped room and Ennis still felt his cheeks flushing slightly, reddening further in the sticky heat. As Aguirre he began to talk to them about the jobs they had, it got too much for him and all the older man's words slipped into one ear and out the other, strangled by the unbearable warmth. He started to pick up on one off phrases as he glanced uncomfortably out the window into the relatively cooler outdoors and slowly, he gratefully managed to piece them together. Luckily, he'd done enough work beforehand to know what he was doing with the sheep up on the mountain and Aguirre wanted him to stay in the main camp as camp tender. That seemed OK, depending on where the camp would be situated (he'd been in some pretty bad situations before now) but it was better than the job the other guy with him had.

The blue eyed boy's task as herder was to pitch up a pup tent with the sheep and stay up there with them in the nights. He'd eat breakfast and supper in camp but Aguirre made a firm point on where he'd be sleeping. Ennis's companion shuffled uncomfortably at this, his head slightly lowered. He wasn't allowed a fire either.

Suddenly, mid way through a sentence explaining about rolling up the tent each morning in case the Forest Service came around and found out, the phone rang and both men looked down, hearing their new boss's irritated voice as he barked down the receiver. He yelled a few insults at the caller and then frustratedly hung up, glancing back up the men with an even wilder look in his eyes. Staying firmly on the point of the dark haired boy staying with the sheep, he relayed that he'd had near a 25% loss last summer and he didn't want that again, no way. Each understood perfectly well, though far from happy with his rule breaking schemes, and then Ennis accepted a watch he threw at him, being told he'd meet somebody with a grocery list and his mules on Friday's at noon by the bridge who'd give the necessary supplies over.

Once his orders had been given, Aguirre dismissed them and they walked out of the trailer, closing the door behind them.

Ennis lit up a cigarette on the steps and let out a long breath, entwined with wisps of smoke. After the choking heat of the room he had just been in, it actually seemed a little cooler out here, even with the sun beating down upon him. There was a long summer ahead.

As he reached the bottom of the steps, the man with him stuck out his hand and grasped his, making him look up. '' Jack Twist,'' he said, offering his name. Ennis didn't really know why he was introducing himself. It wasn't like they were here to make friends. But, still, he thought it would be rude to just ignore him.

'' Ennis.''

'' Your folks jus' stop at Ennis?''

'' Del Mar.''

'' Nice to know ya, Ennis Del Mar.''


	2. First Day

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 2 – First Day

The two men sat in the bar down the road, side by side and sharing a bottle of whiskey. Jack reckoned that if they were going to be working together, they should start drinking together also, and Ennis had quietly agreed, following him into the dusty inn where they were now perched.

It didn't take long for Jack to start talking away to Ennis. He told him that this was his second year up on Brokeback, as Ennis has suspected, and that last year, there had been a terrible lightning storm. 42 of his sheep had been killed and apparently, he damned near asphyxiated at the smell. Ennis didn't know what that meant but he kept on listening, nervously stroking the bottle in front of him and hearing Jack complain about Aguirre's temper at him the summer before and then about his Daddy.

'' That's why ah took to rodeo...'' he remarked, glancing over with his huge blue eyes. '' Ya ever rodeo, Ennis?''

'' Well...'' Ennis muttered, not meeting the other boy's gaze. '' Y'know, once in a while... When ah got the entry free in mah pocket...''

Jack nodded and grinned. '' Ya come from ranch people?''

'' Ah did...''

'' Your folks run ya off?''

'' Mmm...they ran 'emselves off...One curve in th' road in 43 miles an'...they miss it. Mah brother and sister raised me mainly...''

'' Damn...Tha's hard...''

Ennis shrugged and then took Jack's lighter on permission, drawing on another cigarette.

*****

The first day out on the mountain seemed long and hard for Ennis. He started off preparing his given horse, tying knots on the saddle while a fellow ranch hand counted and checked the sheep and another explained to him about the soup packets he dealt out for the workers. Ennis has just snorted at this and told him he didn't eat soup anyway, before standing up and watching Jack show off on his horse, ignoring the barking dog with him and obviously relaying his rodeo days.

'' Watch out,'' he called gruffly. '' That horse has a low startle point!''

Jack had just laughed at this. '' Doubt there's a filly that could throw me!'' he announced confidently. Ennis shook his head.

They spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon out on the mountain, tending to the sheep with the dogs and getting to know each of their positions and the landscape around them. It was a beautiful place to be with the peaks rising up ever so majestically on all sides and the fields and meadows stretching out to what seemed like eternity. Scatterings of trees lined the plains they were working on and within these, Ennis could see flowing rivers bubbling over pebbles and rocks and sometimes breaking out into open space, searching for a larger source. He rode past them through the day and at times had to cross them, watching and guiding the sheep through the shallow water.

Luckily, when they started the work, the temperatures began to cool quite sufficiently and Ennis didn't feel like he was going to constantly melt. It turned into a mild but lush day with a vast blue sky stretching up above and a dancing, soft breeze floating over the land. The sheep were relatively well behaved and the horses were obedient, along with the bouncing dogs along with them. Jack stayed up ahead for most of the hours they spent up there with the animals, hauling sheep over his shoulders every now and then and guiding them up hills. Sometimes he seemed a little frustrated but Ennis just guessed it was first day blues. It had been a pretty early start, after all.

As evening began to fall though, they found a spot near a lake, nestled in a small clearing amongst the trees, and decided to set up the main camp. Ennis gathered rocks and twigs for the fire and Jack hauled up the frame for the tent, getting it stable. Between the two of them working together, it didn't take too long to prepare completely and within about an hour, they were finished and it was high time for supper. Ennis broke open two cans of beans for food and shoved them over a flickering flame. They didn't talk much as they ate, Ennis's eyes shyly diverted from his companion's for most of the time, so all that could be heard was the soft burning and the sound of quiet nature around them. It was then that they truly realised how alone they were out there. There was no one, apart from Aguirre and a couple of other ranch hands, around for miles and it was such an open area. So still and peaceful and Ennis didn't know whether he liked it or not. But at least he wouldn't have to communicate with anyone but Jack. He wasn't one for words at all.

Once the beans had been eaten (even then, Ennis knew he'd be sick of them before even half way through the summer), Jack packed his stuff up onto his horse and nodding a quick goodbye to Ennis, rode out of the main camp back out to the sheep. Ennis watched him leave and then felt the air grow colder around him, sensing nightfall was near. He didn't have to tend to the animals now. All he had to do was look after the camp for the evening and wake up early the next morning to prepare breakfast for him and Jack. That sounded okay but he wasn't the best with food. He'd have to get used to that though – if he wanted to survive out here in the middle of nowhere.

By the time the moon had risen over the mountains and stars had begun to sparkle, his eyes were already itching with fatigue. The day had felt like it had slipped by so slowly and he was more than ready for bed. Leaving the fire to burn and give him some warmth if he woke up in the night, he stumbled towards the canvas tent and crawled inside, finding the bedroll waiting for him. Drawing the covers over him, he lowered his eyelids and before long, sleep had claimed him.

***

Jack sat outside the pup tent that night on the hill, a lit cigarette in his hand as he gazed tiredly out over the sheep resting in the meadows before him. He had been struggling to keep awake for a while now and every time his eyes began to drift shut, he cursed Aguirre even more for his rule breaking schemes. He had no right to be making him do this. Him and Ennis should have been in the main camp together and he shouldn't have to have been freezing out here all on his own. Last summer he had been up here, he'd never had to do anything like this. It was way too cold and late to be awake without a fire and there weren't any signs of coyotes about. If Aguirre cared about his money and losses so much then why didn't he come and watch the sheep? Then he'd see that it was no walk in the park.

Quietly, Jack blew a puff of wispy smoke into the bitter air around him and shivered, glancing in the direction of the main camp. He could see the orange glow of the fire still flickering there but apart from that, there was no other movement. Ennis had obviously packed up for the night and retired to sleep, wrapped up in the sheets and bedroll. Jack wished he could be over there. He'd rather be anywhere than on this cruel hillside.

As his eyes started to feel heavy again, he drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, suddenly thinking of the previous time he had been up on Brokeback. The summer nights of last year had seemed considerably warmer than this by a long way but that may have been something to do with the fact that he had a proper tent to sleep in. The work had also been much easier in the daytime, slow and almost relaxing, riding out with the animals in the sunshine. This time around, Aguirre had appeared obsessed with profit making and had asked them to do many more things, ensuring he got the money he wanted. Jack felt frustrated and agitated at his boss's greed. He'd never been particularly nice yet this year, he had seemed even worse.

But there was another reason for his fondness of his previous experience on the mountain. He'd never forget it.


	3. The Bear

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 3 – The Bear

Jack arrived at the main camp early next morning, looking shattered. Ennis was already sitting by the fire on the log, preparing breakfast, when he stumbled in and he didn't even do so much as look up at his long, stretched out yawn. Instead, he poked nonchalantly at the beans which were spitting on a grill over the fire and just nodded as Jack announced how tired he was.

'' Ah was up awl night watchin' those damn sheep...'' he moaned, flopping down near Ennis and running an agitated hand through his messy hair. '' Aguirre ain't got no right askin' me ta do that...''

'' Mmm...'' Ennis offered in reply and finally finished tending to the food, serving it in not the most eloquent way. Jack still ate it like a man starved though.

'' Ah cain't wait 'til ah get enough money and can get away from him!'' he continued to rant through mouthfuls. '' Wanna own mah own ranch one day but...tha's a long way off yet...''

Ennis nodded, still not meeting his gaze. ''...ah'm gettin' married to Alma once ah get down off this mountain...'' he muttered quietly, feeling he needed to engage in some conversation with Jack lest he came across as just plain rude. ''...a pretty lil' gal ah met a coupla years ago...''

Jack tilted his head slightly, wiping juice from his mouth. '' Where d'you meet her?'' he asked and Ennis heard something in his voice that he couldn't quite detect.

'' Mmm, well...y'know, through friends an'...yeah...''

Jack smiled a little, rubbing his swollen itching eyes. '' Ah haven't got no one at the moment...'' he replied, yawning again. Ennis nodded and rested the empty can on his lap, drawing his jacket around him. They had to go back up to the sheep that morning and although he wasn't tired, he still wasn't looking forward to it. The air felt heavy and moist around them and he was pretty sure that at some point in the day it was start to rain. Knowing his luck, it would probably be while they were still out there too. But he couldn't control the weather – he had to get to the sheep – after all, that was his job, rain or shine.

So, it turned out that, after the camp had been cleared up a little, they rode out back into the fields, heading towards the pastures where the sheep were. The sky was getting greyer and greyer what seemed like every minute and moisture was hanging heavily in the atmosphere around. By the time they reached the animals, a cold wind had started blowing through the trees, whispering and making the long grass dance. It felt damp as it reached Ennis's skin and immediately, he knew that a storm was brewing.

Luckily, it held off just enough for him to get back to camp after tending to the sheep but unfortunately, Jack had to stay out. Ennis tried not to feel too sorry for him (after all, they knew what could happen when they arrived here for the summer) yet as he glanced out of the shelter of his tent, a wooden carving of a horse in his hand (something he'd been making to pass the time), he saw the rain was coming down harder than ever and along with it, distant claps of thunder. Jack was going to be drenched when he arrived for supper and he knew he wouldn't be happy about that. From what he'd already learnt, he seemed to be quite the complaining type.

Fortunately, that night, it cleared up a good deal and the mountains were once again reduced to a calmer condition. The moon rose with its starry friends and darkness claimed the sky, telling Jack it was time to go back to the pup tent after his food with Ennis in the main camp. They said a quiet goodbye and then Ennis was alone, wrapped up once more in the sheets and bedroll.

***

A couple of days later, it was Friday. At noon, while Jack was out in the meadows as he always was at this time, Ennis took the horses down to the bridge, as Aguirre had ordered, and he met the man with the supplies. He told him they hadn't got the powdered milk and were out of spuds but he said he couldn't do anything about that at the moment. Ennis had sighed and handed over the list for the next week, causing the man to grin at the soup request.

'' I thought you didn't eat soup,'' he teased.

'' Yeah, well, ah'm sick of beans...'' Ennis replied gruffly, packing up the supplies and getting ready to set off back to camp. The other man snorted.

'' Too early in the summer to be sick of beans!'' he chirped but Ennis just ignored him and guided the two horses away from the river in the direction of the hill.

They rode through the trees in peace for about half an hour, knowing the route well by now, and passed by flowing streams and bubbling brooks on the way. Ennis brushed past dangling leaves and branches and in the end was getting quite frustrated by the amount of them hanging down. He batted them agitatedly with his spare hand yet carried on trekking, grateful as he heard the sound of a river. It meant he was still on the right track and hadn't somehow taken a wrong corner somewhere along the line.

Softly, he encouraged the weary horses onward and guided them down a slight slope in the path of the shallow water, gradually turning past a thick, dense bush of foliage. And there, suddenly, on a log in the middle of the stream was a brown bear, its eyes wide and mouth gaping as the other animals came into its vision. A deep growl escaped its throat and the horses whimpered and neighed loudly, bucking up onto their back legs. Ennis swore and was thrown to the ground, violently hitting the rough stones and dirt with a thud. Carelessly, the horses ran off and began to scatter food and other belongings everywhere in their haste, making Ennis yell angrily after them. Ignoring the roaring bear in the water, he scrambled quickly to his feet and followed them, insults and expletives pouring effortlessly and endlessly from his mouth.

***

Jack arrived at the main camp early that evening, tired from the day's work and sore from being constantly on his horse. He hadn't seen Ennis all day, not even out in the fields, so when he saw that there was nobody at the camp, he began to get even more curious. Ennis was usually there with the supper already prepared but now he wasn't. Jack wondered where he had got to. It wasn't like him to stay out with the sheep longer than he needed to, after all.

So he must have been somewhere else. Yet quite where, Jack didn't have a clue. What he did know though was that he was starving and hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast, having been too busy to grab anything in the afternoon. Gently, he slipped off the horse and walked over to the pre-fire stones and twigs, noticing two unopened cans of beans resting there. He hated beans with a passion, especially ever since he had come up to Brokeback, but when there was really nothing else to eat but cold soup, they seemed at least a little favourable. Finding the can opener, he cracked one can open, spilling the juice over his fingers a bit, and then finally got a fire going, shoving them onto the grill over it.

He ate in silence, watching the sky darken around him and constantly listening for any movement from the trees behind him to hint of Ennis's presence. For a good few hours, there was nothing but then, suddenly, in the middle of the night, when blackness had fully claimed the heavens and not even the moon was doing very well in penetrating the dim, there was a rustle of leaves and Jack jerked awake from his doze, his eyes snapping open. Turning around, he saw Ennis sliding off his horse and striding into the camp, barely even seeming to acknowledge his companion.

'' Ennis?'' he asked darkly, his anger starting to seep through. '' Ennis, where the hell have you been? Ah came down here hungry as hell an' all ah find is beans!''

But Ennis, in his true style, didn't reply, just flopped down on the log by the warm burning fire and stared into it, fury in his sparkling eyes. Jack sighed frustratedly and turned to him, about to launch into a question fuelled rant about what he'd been doing and where he'd been and so on. But, just as he was on the tip of it, he noticed something different about Ennis. On the side of his forehead, red and glistening, was a deep cut, looking extremely painful. The anger in Jack immediately soothed as he saw it and he gasped a little, unable to avert his eyes.

'' Ennis? What the hell happened?'' he asked.

Ennis groaned and looked down at his feet. '' A bear happened, tha's what,'' he replied sharply. '' Jus' comin' back from gettin' those supplies and there he was right in the middle o' the river...Horses got spooked an' scattered an' ah have ta race after 'em ta try an' collect ev'ry'thin' they drop.''

Jack winced, couldn't help it, and then sat back down on the log next to Ennis, taking the material from around his neck and dousing it the hot water he had boiling over the fire. Ennis flinched as he brought it to the wound but let him dab at it momentarily, before grabbing the cloth from him and doing it himself.

'' You got anythin' ta drink?'' he asked gruffly, trying to ignore the pain searing through him. He didn't like to look vulnerable at all. Jack nodded and picked up the whiskey bottle, handing it over. Ennis took a long swig of it, the sharp taste giving him something else to concentrate, and cursed the horses.

'' We only got beans left,'' he continued heavily, his eyes narrowed. '' The horses dropped ev'rythin' else and ah couldn't carry awl that much...''

Jack didn't know what to say to that. He was sick to his stomach of beans but he didn't want to complain in front of Ennis. He'd just been thrown off a horse, after all, and it wasn't his fault their food had been left behind. It had been bad luck that bear had appeared and he couldn't have controlled that. So, trying to ignore his frustration (he decided to instead direct it at Aguirre for giving them such an awful supply of food in the first place), he nodded slowly and turned back to the flickering campfire.

'' Well, we gotta do somethin' about that then...'' he said carefully. '' Ah know it's not yer fault but...Ah dunno...Maybe we should shoot a sheep or somethin'....''

'' Ta eat? We're mean'a be herdin' the sheep not eatin' 'em...And Aguirre would prob'ly kill us if he found out...''

'' What's the matter with you? They're a thousand of 'em...'' Jack replied simply. '' He'd never find out.''

'' Yeah, well....Ah still think ah'll stick to beans...''

Jack sighed. '' Ah had to put up with 'em awl through last summer...'' he groaned. ''...ah s'pose ah could this year too...But ah guess last year was easier...'' Jack suddenly paused, realising he'd been speaking his thoughts. He quickly shook his head to forget the memory and then got up from the log, looking up at the night sky. Ennis followed his gaze.

'' Well...'' he began, stretching slightly. ''...ah s'pose ah better get back to those damn sheep. Knowin' mah luck, coyotes'll be out t'night.''

'' Mmm...'' Ennis offered in reply, turning back to the fire. His wound was really beginning to sting by now, blood staining his fingers. Much to his despair, he could also feel his eyes starting to get a little hot.

'' Ya'll be alright, won't cha Ennis?'' Jack asked, looking down at him again. '' Ah'd stay but...'' He realised that sentence would be too hard to complete. Luckily, Ennis butted in.

'' Jack, ah'll be fine,'' he snapped. '' Ah'm not some lil' kid fallen over in the playground. Ah'm alright.''

Jack nodded, his eyes betraying a slight hint of disappointment and hurt. Ennis didn't glance up to catch it. '' Well, okay then...See you t'morrow mornin'.''

'' Mmm.''

And then Jack turned and walked out of the camp, leaving Ennis alone. With a strange feeling stirring inside of him, he realised that that was the most they'd talked ever since they arrived on the mountain.

TBC 


	4. Down By The River

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 4 – Down By The River 

Over the next few days, slowly being driven mad by the fact that there was only beans left to eat in the camp, Ennis and Jack decided that they must go out to find something else – something a little more appetizing. But, unfortunately for them, in the first couple of times they tried hunting together, they didn't have much luck. Deer and coyotes run off as soon as they came within shooting distance and by the next Wednesday, they were getting more and more frustrated. If the beans had been bland when they had arrived, they were now revolting, one of the most hated things in the world for both men.

However, every time they went out in each other's company with guns in hand, intent on success, they began to talk a little more than before. Ennis wouldn't have said they were friends yet but they were at least a bit closer than from when they had first met. He didn't know how he felt about that though. After all, he didn't come up on this mountain to make friends. He was here for work and money. To him, that was still it.

On the Thursday after the incident with the bear, Jack arrived earlier in the morning and after forcing down their breakfast, they again trekked off up to their favoured hunting ground, determined to, this time, get lucky. And much to their thrill, as they settled down behind the thick bushes, a beautiful great elk walked out straight into their range. Ennis aimed and squinting against the morning sun, took the shot. Jack cheered and whooped when the animal stumbled, hit by the bullet.

'' Yeah!'' he shouted, playfully pushing Ennis. '' Finally, cowboy!''

Ennis pushed back and stood up, watching his companion giggle happily. '' Yeah, well, ah was tired of all your damn missin'.''

And so it turned out to be that that night and for the next few meals over the following days, they had an alternative option to the rancid beans to eat. Ennis had never felt more relieved.

***

The morning after Ennis's collected the second week's supplies, Jack arrived in the camp and slid off his horse as usual, looking slightly moody. He hadn't appeared like that for a while, not since they had shot the elk anyway, so Ennis glanced up as he entered, watching him huffily sink down onto the ground near the fire.

'' Damn,'' he muttered, rubbing his eyes. '' Ah'm so tired...''

Ennis sighed. He should have known Jack was going to complain about this.

'' Ah'm commutin' 4 hours a day,'' he continued, ignoring Ennis's exhale. '' Ah go up ta the sheep in the mornin', spend almost awl day up there with 'em and then go back up after supper, spendin' nearly all night checkin' for damn coyotes.''

Ennis nodded. He knew this and wondered where Jack was going with his rant this time.

'' Aguirre ain't got no right,'' he hissed for what seemed like the millionth time in the two weeks they'd been up there. '' It's against the rules, for God's sake. We should both be in this camp.''

'' Well, ah'd be happy to swap with ya,'' Ennis interrupted, feeling he had to say something lest he got completely fed up with Jack's constant rages about Aguirre and the sheep. '' Ah wouldn't mind bein' up there.''

'' Ennis, ya know ah'd like that but...ah can't cook ta save mah life...And not ta mention Aguirre would hate us swappin' an' all that...But – ah am pretty good with a can opener.''

'' Mmm, well, ya cain't be much worse than me then.''

Jack laughed.

***

After breakfast was finished with, both men went up to the sheep again, realising they were feeling increasing amounts of hate towards the animals every day. Ennis nodded goodbye to Jack and went off his own way, as always, and then he was alone with the horses, following the trail he knew so well by now. He found the vast herds at the end of it, stretched out over glistening fields and meadows and grazing contentedly. He was relieved to see they were so tranquil that day – sometimes they were particularly misbehaved, spread out all over the place.

However, that morning, it was blissfully calm. The hours slipped away and quickly, the time to head on back up to the camp was upon him again. So, giving the animals one last check, he mounted the horse again and located the trail.

He must have overestimated his knowledge of the path though as within half an hour or so, he had strayed off of it and was heading in the direction of the river where he went down to wash himself and the clothes. Sighing frustratedly, he glanced back up at the trees he'd come from and wondered how far he'd drifted. Yet with all that density and similarity of every cluster of timber over the pastures, he couldn't tell. So, with a shake of his head, he encouraged the horse onward and decided to just keep riding until he saw familiar territory, which hopefully wouldn't be long.

After a few minutes of travelling though, he began to hear the bubbling trickles of water and he knew he was getting farther and farther away from the camp. The river was this way and that was situated in a Southern direction to where he wanted to be going. Yet, as the horse trotted forwards down the hill to the stream, he realised that when he got to the water, he knew almost exactly the route back to the main campsite. After all, he made the journey almost every day and during the two weeks he'd been here, it felt like he could trek it blindfolded.

Hope immediately grasped him and he carried on riding, finally coming into sight of the place he visited so often. Here he made the horse halt for a moment or two, getting his bearings and checking he was on the right side of the river. Otherwise, he'd be stuck. Yet it seemed to be alright so he took a deep breath and stretched, feeling a little more relaxed now.

However, as he glanced downstream, his heart gave a sudden jump. For lying spread eagled on a damp rock with his head back and legs wide open was Jack, naked and pouring water over himself. Ennis gasped as he saw him, surprised. He was lathering a small bar of soup over his lovely body, up and down his thighs and covering his bare chest, his eyes completely closed. He was only washing but it looked very erotic, making Ennis feel very uncomfortable.

Yet, still, he couldn't tear his eyes away. His hands gripping the reins on the horse, he watched as Jack parted his wet lips and sighed femininely, guiding his fingers over his smooth skin. His hips rose a little and Ennis stared. He continued to watch for a few seemingly endless moments, unable to look elsewhere, but then Jack's hands began to dip very low and he felt a force come over him that made him immediately glance back up to the trees behind him. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he urged the horse to turn and attempting to focus entirely on getting back to camp, rode off up the hill.

***

He couldn't look Jack in the eye that evening when he came for supper. They talked but he never glanced up from the fire or his food, feeling embarrassed and ashamed for seeing (or rather, watching) his companion wash sensually down by the river earlier that day. It had been by accident yet he knew he could have easily walked away and now he was very uncomfortable. What he'd witnessed had surprised him and had also stirred something else deep inside. He wasn't sure what that was at the moment but he didn't really want to find out, if he had to be honest.

Jack wasn't any the wiser though. He obviously knew nothing about his spectator by the stream and was chatting naturally all through supper, now and then directing random questions at Ennis. Ennis answered quietly and tried to avoid his gaze, not uttering another word until he had to. Blushes were gathering on his cheeks and for most of the evening, he was more than glad that darkness had gathered around them, blocking out any mistakes or misfortune he may have made or had.

So it turned out that it was a relief when Jack finally got up to go back to the sheep. Ennis didn't bother to say goodbye to him that night, just waited until he was completely gone and then wrapping his arms around himself, stumbled towards the tent and turned in early, needing to forget the past hours.

TBC


	5. Lonely Night

Chapter 5

After a long night's sleep, Ennis felt a little better. His memories of the day before had faded a bit with the whiskey he had drank and he realised that he was being silly fretting about what he'd witnessed Jack do by the river. He did that to himself and just because he'd never seen another man do it, it didn't mean he had to be worrying and feeling uncomfortable over it. He was just being stupid ignoring Jack like he had the night before and he felt ashamed of that instead now.

When he came down for breakfast that morning, he found he could look straight at him again without feeling embarrassed and he was relieved because of that. With that thought resting calmingly in his mind, the day slipped away quickly and it seemed as soon as he had started working in the fields, the evening came around and he was back at camp. Jack arrived close behind him and they sat together around the fire, light still in the sky.

They talked for a while and gradually, the friendly sense of a couple of days before came back. Jack did most of the chatting, as normal, and after a while, he proudly flicked at his belt buckle, displaying his rodeo history. Ennis sighed, knowing what was coming.

'' Ah don't rodeo much mahself...'' he said for what seemed like the tenth time that summer. '' Ah mean, wha's the point in ridin' some piece a' stock for eight seconds?''

Jack shook his head. '' Money's a good point,'' he replied simply and Ennis shrugged. Jack laughed at what he classed as misunderstanding and leant back against a rock.

'' Well, mah old man was a bull rider...Was purdy famous back in his days but he kept his secrets ta himself. Never taught me a thing, never once came ta see me ride...'' He took a sip of whiskey then glanced up at Ennis. '' Your brother and sister do right bah you?''

'' Well...y'know, they did the best they could after mah folks was gone, considerin' they didn't leave us nuthin' but $24 dollars in a coffee can. Ah got me a year a' High School...Then mah sister left an' married a roughneck, moved ta Casper...Me an' mah brother went an' got ourselves a job at a ranch near Worland 'til ah was 19 then he got married an'...No more room fer me. An' that's how ah end up here...''

Ennis finally paused and looked down, feeling Jack's gaze burn into him. Glancing up, he saw there was a slight pouting smile on his lips, playful and teasing.

'' What?'' he asked and Jack smirked further.

'' Tha's the most you spoke in the last two weeks....''

Ennis smiled back, his eyes glinting. '' Hell, tha's the most ah spoke in a year...'' he grinned.

Jack laughed and after a few moments, they both descended again into silence. A while later, another conversation about rodeos broke open (this didn't surprise Ennis that much – Jack loved to boast about his past) and after Ennis slyly insulted rodeo cowboys from his daddy's point of view, Jack leapt into an impromptu, energetic re-enactment of his previous times on wild bucking broncos, jumping and leaping about the campsite. Ennis smiled and laughed as he did this and consequently mentioned he thought his daddy was right when Jack tumbled over their gear, landing in a heap upon the ground. Jack giggled.

***

A couple of nights later, Ennis was lying asleep in the tent, the covers over him and his clothes scattered about the shelter. The temperature was quite high that evening and knowing he'd be tossing and turning if he didn't, he decided to sleep naked for once, feeling a little less shy. After all, no one was going to intrude – there wasn't anyone _to_ intrude.

Gently, Ennis turned and groaned slightly, lost in his dreams. To begin with, he was sitting on his bed back home and Alma was beside him, her eyes closed and dark, long lashes stroking her beautiful milky skin. He brushed a hand over her cheek and she smiled in her light sleep, her red lips parting. Softly at first he began to kiss her and then moved on top. They had never done anything like this in reality before – had only kissed once before when he had asked her to marry him – so it was exciting and daring in his visions.

She was so pretty as they made love in his dreams, her mousy hair fanned out over the pillow and breath coming out in dancing patterns. He leant down to her after a few moments and nuzzled her neck, kissing it over and over again and then pushed back up to look down at her attractive face. Except it wasn't her anymore. Now it was Jack and they were increasing the pace furiously, arms and legs tangled in a passionate embrace. Their names slipped from each other's mouths and the bed squeaked in protest beneath them. They were already getting undeniably close. But, being a dream, it didn't shock Ennis at all at the time. The pleasure felt all too real and he didn't want it to end, though he could see Jack's mouth slipping open and eyes rolling back, immersed in absolute bliss.

But then, suddenly, as the delight built to an ultimate high, Ennis woke up, thrusting and bucking his hips wildly. '' Oh-oh-oh!'' he cried into the darkness of the tent. '' Jack, Jack, _ahhh!''_ And he spilled hard and fast over the bed sheets, gasping and panting for breath. Exhausted, he then collapsed back onto the bedroll, completely overwhelmed by his passionate dream. He didn't know to what to think of it at all. That had been Jack after all and...Jack was another man. It was all very well thinking about Alma like that, because she was a girl – not least one he was just about to get married to – but Jack?

Ennis didn't know at all.

He couldn't have stopped that dream yet he wondered why on earth he had envisaged those types of things. Truth it, he had no idea and it was way too late to comprehend it, especially with work so early tomorrow. He decided just to go to sleep and try and forget about it all, knowing that in the past few days he had done too much worrying for a cowboy up on a mountain attempting to earn some money.

However, in the end, he didn't get one minute of sleep.

***

Meanwhile, up with the sheep in the pup tent, Jack undressed, too feeling the warmth of the air around him. The animals were fine and he had decided that, upon being extremely tired, he was going to get some well needed rest. If Aguirre wanted him to work in the day, he was going to have to let him have at least some sleep.

So, gently, he sighed and unbuttoned his shirt, slipping it off and pulling the undershirt beneath over his head. The cool breeze drifting through the open canvas covering of the foul smelling shelter immediately slid onto his skin and he shivered momentarily, reaching to draw it closed a little more. The tent was abruptly plunged into a deeper darkness, with only the light of the moon piercing through the thin material and he smiled at its closeness, feeling alone but safe. Shutting his eyes, he laid back down on the bedroll and fiddled with his belt, throwing it into the corner onto the growing pile of clothes.

He had to lift his hips a little to slide his jeans off but then he was completely naked, having not worn any underwear that day. Softly, he let his head loll back onto the pillow and exhaled again, trailing his fingers down his stomach. It had been quite an uneventful day that day, with sheep, beans, more sheep and more beans. That seemed to be the only thing that filled his hours now, apart from Ennis. He liked Ennis, but sometimes, he could be a bit quiet and shy. He seemed very closed up to the world and before a few days ago, hardly ever talked, unless he was asked to. Jack didn't really know what to make of that yet he was certainly grateful of the company. Coming back to Brokeback evoked many memories, some good, some bad.

Gently, Jack let his fingers trace down lower and he moaned softly, setting a slow pace on himself. Thoughts about his last summer continued to drift into his mind and he tried to stop them but he just couldn't, as always when he got onto that subject. He remembered his first time, and the way he'd experienced so much and his breathing began to get a little heavier, his legs spreading wide.

'' Ahh...'' he muttered and got faster, his brain bubbling with images of the past. He attempting thinking of something that would make it even more pleasurable – all those pretty girls who came to watch him rodeo – and he gasped, realising this was going so quickly. Erotic, sensual pictures filled his mind and his mouth fell open, heart thumping in his chest.

'' Ohhh...'' Another groan spilt from his lips as the first true jolt of pleasure came, making him buck his hips. He squirmed a little and suddenly, something changed in his brain. Instead of thinking of what had happened the year before on the mountain, it was now this year in his thoughts. Surprised, he realised he was fantasizing about Ennis and although he tried to stop himself, he was too far into all this pleasure and delight to be able to succeed.

He imagined Ennis waiting for him, naked in the main tent, the painfully shy cowboy finally revealed. He opened his legs right up and then glanced up at him with heavily lidded, yearning eyes, pleading. Jack moaned as he thought about him and Ennis embracing and kissing in the tent, his pace increasing quite considerably.

'' Uhaaahhh...'' he uttered dizzily, lifting his hips and thrusting. He fantasized about Ennis calling out his name when he entered him and crazy with ecstasy, he began to leak over his stomach and fingers. This made his hand move smoother and quicker, appreciative sounds escaping from his mouth. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer so his thoughts got even raunchier, imagining Ennis bucking and begging underneath him. The image was so, so exciting to him at that moment.

'' Ohohohoh!'' he called into the darkness of the tent, realising no one would hear out here. His hips rose and thrust furiously and by then, he was trembling all over. So, so close.... '' Oh-oh, Ennis, Ennis!'' he cried. '' Ah! Ah! _Ennis!!_''

And screaming his companion's name, he came over his hand, stomach and sheets, surprised at the force of his climax. He'd never had one quite like that before and he didn't really know what to feel about that prospect. Half of him felt completely exhausted and euphoric, dizzy with pleasure and maybe pride, and wanted nothing better than to collapse back onto the bedroll, pull the covers over him and go to sleep with warm, comforting thoughts in his head. Yet the other part of him didn't know to what to feel at all. He was confused and dazed and couldn't help wondering why Ennis had just somehow crept into his fantasies. He had thought of some bizarre images when he was totally immersed in delight (probably because he was completely wrapped up in the moment and couldn't see straight) yet thinking about Ennis that way seemed...different.

Discomforting ideas filled his head and trembling from both the aftermath of the high and the unease, he drew the sheets over his body and laid down beneath them, staring into the darkness. Outside, the sheep kept bleating and for a long while, he tossed and turned, becoming aware of something he was not sure of. But then, as the night went on and the moon shone through onto his pillow through the gap in the tent canvas, his eyes drifted shut and eventually, he fell into a gentler world of dreams.

TBC


	6. The Day After

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 6 - The Day After

Ennis had a repeat of a couple of days back when he woke up in the next morning. Jack arrived at the main camp and again, he couldn't look him in the eyes. However, it was worse for him this time because rather than merely (accidentally) witnessing Jack naked down by the river he had now, dreamt about him. And not _just_ him – he, himself, had been there too and they had been in bed together, kissing and doing things Ennis had only thought about doing to women before. Never a man.

It was safe to say he was very confused and quite scared. He had been unable to stop thinking about the visions all night, having had no sleep, and all through what had been of the morning so far he had been plagued by them too. Every time he dared glance at Jack when he reached the camp he had been greeted with the image of the dream, his mouth open and gasping his name as they embraced closely. It terrified him. Last night, it had seemed terrible to him but it was even more so when the light had flooded in, as if he had imagined that maybe it was bring some sense into his mind yet had failed.

However, he tried to tell himself it was just a dream and didn't mean anything. Some people he met had said that dreams signified what you were really thinking but Ennis didn't really believe that himself. He knew they had to come from somewhere, though the possibility of every one being what you had in mind was a little silly to him. Maybe some of them were, but definitely not all.

At least, that's what he was trying to tell himself that day.

Because there was absolutely no way he was thinking about Jack like that. He hadn't contemplated anything like it since he'd met him – never even _thought_ about contemplating it – and neither had he done so for any other man. His Father had told him that only people of different genders belonged together and he saw that most of modern America held the same belief. He'd never really thought about it himself, but had known he'd probably go along with them too. He didn't like to be an outsider and would rather be in the safe, uncomplicated side of life than any other.

So, with that thought firmly placed in his mind, he tried to forget and ignore his dream. It had been a one off – didn't mean a thing – and he shouldn't let it mess up his work on the mountain. Like he had said to himself what seemed like a thousand times while he'd been up there, he was here for the money, and nothing else. Making a friend had just been a bonus. No matter what dreams or visions he'd had of him.

***

Jack was worried too about his thoughts of the night before, though Ennis wasn't aware of that at all, and the unease was nowhere near as bad as what his companion was feeling. He was able to look at the fellow cowboy without too much drama inside yet he still felt something twisting a little. Now and then, he'd get memories of the visions he'd fantasized about and a sense of discomfort would wash over him but he knew he must ignore them. If he didn't, he'd just get too wrapped up in it all and wouldn't get anywhere. And by now, he was fully aware of that feeling...

He wasn't about to experience it again.

***

A couple of days onward, mainly due to whiskey and work, the sharp sensation surrounding their passionate night began to soften. They fell into their usual conversations and company and on Aguirre's orders, they moved the location of the main camp a little to become a bit closer to the new fields the sheep were now grazing in. Ennis found himself doing most of this job though as Jack just simply lounged around by the fire as he worked, lazily playing the harmonica he'd brought with him.

'' That don't look right,'' he commented when the tent was finally up again. Jack shook his head, his hat drawn right over his eyes.

'' Well, it ain't goin' nowhere. Let it be.''

'' Mmmm...that harmonica don't sound right either...''

'' That's 'cos it got kinda flat when that mare threw me...'' came the reply.

'' Oh yeah? Thought ya said that mare couldn't throw ya...''

'' Ohhh, she got lucky...''

'' Well, if ah got lucky, that harmonica woulda broken too.''

Jack laughed.

The next few days in their new location passed by as normally as any other time up on Brokeback. They washed the clothes in the river that winded and flowed its way close to the camp and rode out in the mornings together and back in the evenings, sharing beans and soup. Both of these were still extremely unappetizing to them so now and then, they'd go out hunting together, sometimes striking lucky with a deer or an elk but mostly failing. Aguirre was relatively happy with the sheep, seeing as there was so far no loss on profit, and supplies weren't quite as scant. At least now they were getting alternatives to beans and not just them week in week out.

One day though, they arrived back slightly earlier to the main camp together, having left the sheep behind with the dogs to guard them for a while and in desperate need of some food, having not had time for any type of break since breakfast. They ate the beans and soup like they were the last things left on Earth and then relaxed back a bit, knowing they didn't have to head out into the meadows again until the night fell.

Consequently, Jack brought out the whiskey bottle and within a couple of hours, they were drunk. Darkness shrouded the main campsite and they lay, dazed, around the softly flickering fire, tiredness slowly claiming both of them. When all the stars were out, Ennis threw the now empty bottle out of the way, clumsily crawling onto his knees. His head span with dizziness but he attempted to get up, clutching onto the log by his side. He knew the sheep would be waiting for him.

'' S'time ta go up ta the sheep now...'' he muttered drunkenly, not quite managing to stand up. Jack nodded and watched him try again. It was no use. Losing balance, Ennis fell back to the ground, staring up at the sky and gesturing up at it.

'' S'too late ta go up ta the sheep..'' he murmured in response Jack's quizzical glance. '' Look...''

Jack gazed up at the stars above and nodded again.

'' ...you go fetch a blanket...? Ah'm jus' gonna roll up out here, grab forty winks an'...ride out first light...'' Ennis continued, turning over onto his knees again. Jack got up and walked into the tent, returning seconds later with one of the bed covers and draping it over Ennis who gratefully cuddled up underneath it.

'' Y'know, ya'll would be much better off sleepin' in the tent,'' he remarked but Ennis just ignored him. '' Well, alrigh' then...''

And with that, a slight look of disappointment in his face, Jack turned and digging his hands into his pockets, walked back into the tent

TBC


	7. First Night

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 7 - First Night

About an hour passed and Ennis was still outside, the blanket wrapped tightly around him. Jack was lying awake in the tent and every now and then, increasingly frequently, he would hear him whimpering with the cold, shivering vocally. It had been fine to tolerate around ten minutes ago but every since then, Jack had found himself getting more and more frustrated at it, unable to fall asleep because of the noise. And unfortunately, the night wasn't getting any warmer so Ennis wasn't going to stop it. _Great_, Jack thought.

Gently, he turned over onto his back and sighed into the darkness of the tent. From outside, Ennis gave another whine and finally, Jack knew he couldn't take anymore. Drawing a hand across his eyes, he rolled onto his side and pulled back the canvas cover of the tent, looking out into the campsite, where the fire had now completely died down. Ennis was trembling by it, curled up into a ball.

'' Ennis!'' he called out and he answered with a shaking 'what?'. '' Quit yer yammerin' an' get in here!''

Ennis quickly responded and scrambled to his feet, clutching the blanket and stumbling tiredly across the campsite, almost tripping over all the pots and pans. Jack shifted over on the bedroll once he'd reached the tent and let him lay down, getting comfortable. Within a few minutes, both had fallen asleep.

***

Another hour went by and drowsily, Jack was woken from a particularly provocative dream, still deep in its pleasure. Excitement was pulsing through his veins and he couldn't deny how aroused he was, his breath catching in the darkness. He tried to turn into a position to make it better but no matter how hard he attempted, he knew he wouldn't be able to help himself or give himself the right satisfaction without waking Ennis up. He couldn't even go outside and do it – Ennis was lying next to the exit to the tent and he'd never be able to crawl over him without being noticed.

So, he strived to ignore it and just go back to sleep. He'd done that plenty of times before yet now, it was proving much tougher than he expected. Memories of the dream he had just had crept back into his head and he found himself moaning softly at them, not aiding the situation at all. It was no good. He was going to have to do something.

Slowly, he turned onto his side again and closed his eyes against the sensation, feeling his heart thudding in his chest. Ennis was warm behind him and he couldn't help bumping up against him, trying to make their bodies mould together. Luckily, this wouldn't have seemed quite as obvious in the night. He could just explain it as movement in his sleep and get round it ever so easily. But it wasn't anywhere near the type of pleasure he needed to get out of this awkward occasion.

He couldn't help himself anymore.

Unable to comprehend if this was a good idea or not because of the need throbbing through him, he gently reached behind and found Ennis's hand. Trying desperately not to wake him, he brought it over his body and pushed it below the sheets, guiding it to just where he wanted. Ennis cuddled up to his back in his dreams and Jack closed his eyes tight shut. His hand was very warm and he couldn't stop himself moving it gently, making him sigh as he picked up a slow pace.

But then, just as he was completely lost in desire, Ennis woke up and leapt away from him, quickly jumping over to the far side of the tent. Jack followed and grabbed him firmly by the collar, resulting in Ennis grasping him back. Then they paused and both men stared into each other's eyes, wondering what was going on. Jack slowly let go of Ennis and pulled off his coat, never looking away.

'' What're ya doin'...?'' Ennis muttered drowsily but cut himself off when Jack took hold of him again, gripping his clothes. The two cowboys grappled with each other for a couple of moments, Ennis trying to push Jack back, yet finally, their actions settled a little and Jack held Ennis's face close to his, pawing dizzily through his hair. Ennis found himself doing the same to him, clutching him tight and attempting to not let it go any further.

Yet, then, he felt Jack pull back a little and quickly slide a hand down. He heard him unbuckle his belt and suddenly, Ennis knew what he wanted. Horror immediately struck him but as much as he tried, he couldn't push away. Aggressively, he grabbed Jack and shoved him onto all fours in front of him, watched him lift his hips into the air in anticipation.

Without thinking, Ennis pulled down his companion's jeans and then hastily undid his own, feeling blood rush in his ears. He was terrified and confused and even a little angry at himself (and Jack) but he just couldn't stop. If he was truthful, he had absolutely no idea how to do this (or why he was doing this) yet he couldn't deny it was about to happen. Time was going much too fast and he couldn't halt it. Hopefully, he wouldn't remember this in the morning. He knew he was still half drunk anyway.

Quickly, he drew down his jeans and spat on his hand, hearing Jack's gasps beneath him. Unable to breathe properly anymore, he closed his eyes tight and then roughly pushed forward, entering him. _'' Uhh..._'' Jack groaned, his head dropping forward. Ennis thrust and shoved painfully into him and immediately, he began to see white lights in front of his eyes, flashing and glinting. They surrounded him and he moaned and grunted, not sure if he was making the noises from pain or pleasure.

Behind him, Ennis was gasping and panting, one arm wrapped tightly around his waist and the other gripping his shirt in desperation. His eyes were tight shut yet his mouth was wide open, trying to get some breath. Jack was so tight around him and the sensation was nothing short of incredible. Much to his despair, he could feel himself getting closer and closer each second.

From underneath, Jack began to tremble and shake, barely able to keep himself on all fours. Ennis grasped him and he sucked in a gasp, tensing up completely. Wildly, he groped around for his companion's hand and squeezed it, trying to hold on to at least some part of reality. The lights in front of his eyes flashed even more and he spread his legs, feeling Ennis lean very low over his body. He shoved and pushed and with one last attempt, hit a very sensitive spot inside of Jack.

The sensation of Ennis thrusting into that one spot over and over again immediately drew him over the edge. Managing to breathlessly pant his name, he threw back his head and reached a dizzy climax, spilling over his stomach and the bedroll. Ennis groaned and then echoed him, a feeling somewhere between pleasure and absolute pain ripping through him as he came deep inside Jack, trying not to howl.

And then, when the night finally turned still around them, he collapsed over on top of his companion and they turned back onto the bedroll together. Fatigue immediately claiming their exhausted bodies, Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis and they gradually drifted off to sleep, for the moment not scared by the things that had just happened.

TBC


	8. The Aftermath

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 8 

Ennis woke up the next morning with his head feeling like it was splitting in two. Light spilled through the slightly open gap in the tent and made it worse and it was all he could do to draw a hand across his forehead and groan lightly, desperately trying to recall where he was or what he was doing. For the first few minutes, he couldn't remember a thing. He knew he was on a mountain somewhere herding sheep but it felt much later than the time he usually got up at and something felt very different. He couldn't think what.

Softly though, as he rubbed his sleepy eyes, he turned over onto his side and noticed that there was a body sleeping next to him. Messy, dark hair splayed out in all directions and the bed sheets were drawn right over him, leaving his own body much colder than it needed be. More confusion momentarily entered his brain yet then the other man rolled slightly over onto his back and a terrible feeling suddenly smacked him violently in the stomach.

Jack was lying there next to him, a contended smile and far away gaze in his tired face. His arms were wrapped around himself, signifying how happy and warm he was, and he was completely curled up underneath the blankets, looking so innocent and childlike. Ennis sat up a little as he watched him and winced as further memories of the night before began to creep into his head.

Oh God, what had him and Jack done? He'd woken up with his hand in a very hot place and had jerked away from his companion when he realised what he wanted to do, his eyes wide with anger and shock. But Jack had followed him and grasped him by the jacket, drawing him in ever so close to his body. Ennis had resisted, wanting no kissing, yet knew he couldn't stop it when his partner's belt was undone, a beckoning, yearning sign to what he desired. He couldn't believe he had actually done it though. He felt disgusted, annoyed and appalled at himself for doing such things and couldn't quite grasp it. What on Earth had he been thinking? They have may have been drunk but that didn't stop Jack from being another man. And, according to Ennis and most of the society around him, men just didn't do that together. Only men and women did. And never that harshly. Ennis physically shuddered as he remembered how fast it had gone. He thought he might be sick at the dizziness that had suddenly crept into his brain and he felt his stomach twist. Why hadn't he thought about it last night? Words just couldn't describe the emotions he was going through that morning.

Groaning aloud, he stared once more down at Jack, still in a state of disbelief, and then pulled up his jeans, buttoning them back up. Pushing the canvas cover of the tent slightly back, he saw it was indeed much later than his usual waking time and hoped that Aguirre wouldn't be too mad. He wasn't in the best mood to confront him. He decided he best get going though. He had to get away from Jack and the campsite, hopefully shifting memories and thoughts of the night before.

Not bothering to be quiet in case he woke his fellow companion, Ennis crawled out of the tent, grabbing his hat on the way, and drearily trudged across the camp to his horse on the other side. She seemed bright and awake that morning, desperate the heaviness of the air around, and Ennis momentarily felt annoyed at her. He couldn't bare to see anyone, or anything, with different emotions to him at that point. It drove him mad to again realise he was alone with his feelings. Unless Jack felt the same way. Ennis partly hoped he did. It would get him back for making him do those things last night. He wished his partner felt horrible, lonely, awful, manipulative, deceiving...

Ennis was still going through these, and similar, adjectives when there was a movement behind him and Jack came limping across the camp, unable to close his legs. Ennis scowled and turned away, continuing to prepare the horse. When he was done, he quickly mounted her and turned towards the heavens, noticing the deep greyness gathering above.

'' See ya for supper,'' Jack muttered, his happy disposition gone. Ennis ignored him and rode off, never looking back.

***

Ennis cursed and damned himself, and anything or anyone around, for the rest of the working day, hitting his way past branches of trees and yelling at the sheep or the environment surrounding him if the slightest thing went wrong. A heavy, terrible sense of mixed emotions had washed over him and he couldn't shrug it off, no matter how hard he tried. Memories of the night before were still pounding endlessly at his brain and he felt like screaming almost every minute, wanting to get them out. He was still very much in denial about the situations and at moments, wanted to physically harm Jack just to give him a taste of the pain he was experiencing.

But he didn't see Jack once during the day. Usually he passed him once or twice yet then, it was different. However, this was probably a good thing. During one of his rages, Ennis knew he wouldn't be able to control himself if the reason for them appeared, despite his quiet and shy personality. With a groan, he realised Jack had momentarily shattered through that.

Halfway through the day, after hours of lonesome and confused riding over the fields and meadows, impatiently watching the sheep go about their business, Ennis was boredly trekking up along across the higher hills when he heard the sound of the dog barking in the distance. He never made a noise like that unless there was some type of emergency and suddenly alert, Ennis encouraged the horse onwards and made her gallop across the prairies to the location of the sound. Despite what he had maybe contemplated beforehand though, it wasn't Jack in trouble. He was kind of glad it wasn't as, in his current state, he wouldn't have been sure what to do with him. Wincing at the thought of Jack again in his wonders, he rode closer and was immediately greeted by an awful stench. The smell of death hung in the air and penetrated everything around, depressing the atmosphere.

As Ennis drew nearer, he realised the dog was sitting beside a sheep, lying on its back on the moist grass and with its front torn apart. A horrible amount of gore crept from its insides and blood seeped over and stained its once white wool. Ennis winced as he saw it. He'd seen some animals in some pretty bad situations before in his life, having worked on many a ranch, but never like this. He guessed a coyote must have got it, hunted it down and slaughtered it violently, taking advantage of the fact that there was nobody there to protect the flock. After all, the two cowboys were, at that point, spending a night in the tent together up on the main campsite.

Ennis lowered his head in shame. He had been angry at himself for actually taking Jack in that way the evening before but he hadn't actually realised it had directly affected his job. Now he saw the evidence he wanted to be sick. Regret punctured his body and added another emotion to his ongoing list and with his heart as heavy as stone, he rode away, leaving the dog with the rest of the flock.

***

About an hour passed and sadness had now taken over Ennis. His hatred and anger had cooled a little and now he was caught between shame and woe. He and Jack had let a sheep die at the hands of a coyotes last night, just for them to get warm together in a tent on the main campsite, and he knew that, even though he never intended for that to happen at all, it was still his fault. For once, he blamed himself over and over again and unhappily rode through the lonely woods, his stomach turning.

He felt like he had been out in the fields forever that day. His legs were sore and back aching and the weather wasn't doing much to help him. Rain drizzled down constantly, making his clothes stick to his skin a little, and thunder rumbled in the distant sky every now and then, worsening his mood. He wished that the sun was shining at least, giving some hope to the otherwise miserable and horrible time he was having.

But then, as he came out of a gathering of bowing trees, their leaves dripping with moisture, he noticed somebody lying up on the hill, staring out over the vast plains. He recognised it as Jack immediately, his hat pulled over his eyes and body resting against the slightly damp grass. Ennis glanced up and before he knew what he was doing, began to ride up towards him, sliding off the horse once he was in earshot.

Jack didn't look up as he slowly sat down next to him, very unsure of himself and wondering why on earth he was doing this. Just an hour ago, he had hated Jack more than anybody else in the world. For what seemed like an age, there was silence between them, interrupted only by the mournful cry of the winds sailing all around them. Ennis gazed out across the fields from beneath his hat and hastily bit the inside of his lip, at a loss of what to do. He felt he wanted to say something to Jack, but he just didn't know what. '' This is a one shot thing we got goin' on here...'' he muttered lowly at last, not looking over at Jack. He couldn't bare to see his face.

Jack didn't reply for a while. '' It's nobody's business but ours...'' he replied after a bit, picking at strands of grass. Ennis gulped.

'' Ya know ah ain't queer...'' he said quietly.

'' Me neither.'' And silence descended again, this time broken by nothing.

TBC


	9. Second Night

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 9 

That evening, the weather softened. A beautiful, warm night was created amongst the dying embers of the miserable morning and afternoon and a moon, bright and bold, rose into the dark, vaulted sky, bringing along with her millions of twinkling, golden stars. Ennis returned back to the main campsite after Jack and found a fire softly burning, orange flames licking at the cosy atmosphere around. He knew Jack was already in the tent but he couldn't bring himself to go to him yet, still feeling nervous and uncomfortable following the times he had just experienced.

After their very brief talk earlier that day though, he felt a little calmer. The anger and rage had well and truly disappeared from his body and he now was feeling exhausted because of it all. Thoughts had been swarming around his head like angry bees for hours on end and his mind was sick of them. Emotions had been mixed and smashed together but as he sat on the log by the flickering fire, there was a sense of emptiness hanging over him. It was as if everything he had gone through in the day had already built to a giant climax and now withered away, leaving him alone to mull over his true self. Except he didn't know who or what that was anymore. Being up on this mountain had brought out sides to him he didn't know even existed and that scared him immensely. All he'd wanted was to come up here and earn some money. He hadn't prepared to have his life turned completely over.

He knew he'd hurt Jack. He had been unnaturally quiet and closed up when he had talked to him very shortly earlier and he had briefly seen the pain in his indigo eyes. It spoke volumes, without actually saying anything, and Ennis had even felt a little guilty at it. He had felt ripped apart himself from the previous night and had wished Jack experienced the same emotions but now, as he sat by the fire, he found himself taking all that back. He knew this was a scary moment for him yet he hadn't really bothered to stop and think whether it was frightening for Jack. He couldn't believe how selfish he'd been.

But, now, when he turned to see Jack taking his shirt off through the small gap in the tent canvas, he didn't have a clue what to do. There was a choice between going back up to the sheep or staying with Jack in the main camp yet he was terribly confused. He usually hated tending to those animals, though now, he was so nervous. Jack was waiting for him just a few feet away and he didn't know whether he should go in to sit with him or just perch down out here for the night. He was terrified but he was very much aware he wasn't that good at controlling his emotions. If he went in to see Jack, he was scared he would lash out at him or walk out again, leaving him alone. As much as he tried to deny it, he really didn't want to hurt him for the second time in one day.

Ennis sighed a little and glanced again over at the tent. Jack was half naked now, lying back on the bedroll and staring up at the thin shelter around him. He was mesmerised by the sight of Jack's bare skin, velvety and vulnerably soft. He was so frightened but he knew this must be done. If he didn't do it, a heavy cloud of guilt would just be hanging over him and he knew he couldn't take that another day.

Trembling a bit, he gradually stood up from the fire and nervously fumbling with his hands, shuffled over to the tent. Jack glanced at him as he entered and sat up, looking into his dark eyes. Ennis didn't return the gaze, instead staring at the floor below them and placing his hat as a barrier between their bodies. Jack removed it and touched his arm, trying to comfort him into a safer place. He let their eyes meet for a mere second but then it was gone.

No words were said between them, though Ennis could feel the weight of what needed to be told sinking onto his jumbled mind. His heart was beating faster than it had ever done before and he could hear it pounding in his ears, mixing with his heavy breathing. Jack was so close now and he could feel the warmth coming off his body. He wasn't scared anymore, Ennis could tell that, and the way he was holding his arm spoke the truth.

Gently, Jack moved slightly in front of him and Ennis sensed a cool hand stroke against his cheek. Fingers touched his messy hair and he thought he might collapse under their light pressure. Jack was being so calm and serene with him – he had treated him so badly today that he was being very affected by his tranquillity. Forgiveness seeped between them, without actually being spoken, but he knew its power was being overshadowed by something else. Something even more influencing, something neither could control.

Jack's eyes were almost closed now, the blue colours sparkling beneath the long, dark lashes. His breath washed across his skin and he felt his legs trembling. Even though the need and desire to was coursing through his veins, he still couldn't look up at his companion so he quickly shut his own eyes, sensing them getting hotter behind the lids. He thought he might choke on his emotions if he let himself go.

But, as he tried to stop tears from falling, Jack just got closer and closer. He slid a comforting, gentle arm around Ennis's neck and drew him in, parting his soft lips. Ennis turned his head a little, unable to take this approach, and pulled back slightly. Yet Jack had him held too strongly, even though his touch was tender. He tried to move in time and time again and finally Ennis got tired of withdrawing. Jack's outdoorsy, calming scent eventually became too much for him and he could feel the atmosphere pulsing with bottled up emotions that needed to be let out. It was no use attempting to hide his true feelings anymore. Denial and the desire to prove himself as a tough outer shelled cowboy withered away and he reached out to touch Jack, placing an unsure hand on his arm.

And at last, he responded to Jack's approaches. Shaking with the amount of thoughts in his mind that had suddenly become completely unimportant to him, he opened his mouth and felt Jack take him in. Their lips touched in a confused but emotional kiss and Ennis trembled at the feeling. Memories and thoughts and visions and sensations span in a poignant whirlwind around him but he found himself shying away from it, falling into Jack's care to protect him. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

Eternity appeared to soar around them but finally, the contact ended and Ennis pulled back a little, looking down at the bedroll they were kneeling on. A strange feeling was throbbing through his veins and he couldn't ignore it. It was eating away at everything he had previously thought and believed in and he had lost all control. What he wanted to do, what he needed to do and what he should do had all mingled and mixed up into one sole desire. And it was stronger than anything he had ever felt before.

Tenderly, as if Ennis was made of the most fragile glass, Jack brushed his fingers through his hair and held him close. '' It's alright...'' he whispered quietly. '' It's alright...''

And slowly, he pulled him down onto the bedroll with him, so they were lying together, touching and embracing. Ennis rested his head on Jack's chest and his yearning drove him onward. Closing his eyes again and relaxing a little, he ran his hands all over Jack's body, letting his head drop every now and then to kiss his skin. Jack returned the favour to him, gently holding his arms and stroking his hair while pressing his lips to his forehead over and over again, savouring the moment.

After a short, gentle while, Jack rocked Ennis a little in his embrace and then gradually turned him over onto his back, sliding on top of him. Their bodies pressed together and Ennis sighed at the warmth, sensing a thousand emotions slipping between them. He was slightly surprised that Jack wasn't as heavy as he had imagined and he allowed his hands to stroke up his arms, running his fingers and thumbs over his smooth, bare skin. Jack touched him in return, cupping his cheek and leaning down. Dizzy with desire, they kissed again, this time more confidentally and finding their mouths fitting perfectly together.

Gently, Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack and brought him closer, lacing his hands into his thick, dark hair. His heart beat fast in his chest and he was breathing heavy at the sensations pulsing through his body. He had never felt anything like this before. Jack was stirring such emotions in him.

They embraced tighter and Ennis found his lips being parted further. Jack's tongue darted into his mouth and he gave chase, deepening the kiss. He had only ever kissed Alma once before but it was nothing like this. The warmth between him and Jack was slowly turning into heat and the intimacy was increasing almost by the second.

Yet, at last, Jack broke the kiss and led his lips down Ennis's neck, putting a hand on his chest. Ennis entwined their fingers together and turned his head a little, sighing. This felt very good and that was one thing he couldn't deny.

But, after a bit, Jack pulled away again and moved his mouth from Ennis's skin. Ennis looked down at him with confused eyes yet he didn't say a word. Instead, he shifted off of him and knelt by his head, letting a hand drift over the cowboy's face. Ennis closed his eyes.

'' Jack, please don't go back ta the sheep...'' he whispered, suddenly scared he might leave him alone. Jack smiled.

'' Ah won't,'' he replied and then unbuckled his belt, causing Ennis to glance back up at him at the sound. He ignored his surprised gaze though and pulled it off, beginning to unzip his jeans. Ennis made him stop.

'' Wait...'' he said, barely audible and then knelt up before him, their faces inches apart. Jack placed a hand on his hip and ran it up his shirt, followed by his undershirt beneath. Ennis's eyes drifted shut again and his mouth opened to sigh Jack's name. In response, Jack embraced him and opened some of the buttons, slowly kissing his neck and jaw. His shirt came off in seconds and then Ennis lifted his arms to allow him to pull the other one over his head. When Ennis was half naked, Jack stopped and just looked at him. He felt like, with that simple movement of undressing him, he had broken through at least some of his outer shell and was now seeing him as he truly was, no barriers shielding him for once. That thought satisfied him so much.

Trembling a little, he reached out and ran his hands down Ennis's chest, caressing his soft skin. Ennis gasped as he kissed it, allowing him to reach downwards to fondle with his belt. He still couldn't think straight. His brain told him to pull away but his heart told him to stay. He didn't know which was right but right now, he didn't care about right or wrong. There was no difference between the two at that moment.

Finally, Jack got his belt open and chucked it into the growing pile of clothes in the corner of the tent. Still kissing all over Ennis's chest and neck, he reached down again and fully unzipped their jeans, finding both of them were already dripping wet. Gently, he got Ennis out of the rest of his clothes and then undressed himself, before they fell into each other's arms, kissing passionately. They pressed their bodies very close together as they embraced, discovering many things. Ennis had never, ever touched another man like this before and his heart was pounding with the excitement of doing so. Jack felt strong and masculine and well built and he was thrilled at the touch of his skin and muscles rubbing against his. They held each other tighter and tighter and soon, their hands were running everywhere, unable to stop.

Ennis tossed back his head as Jack nipped and kissed at his neck, hearing him moaning and breathing heavily against his body. His blood was rushing in his ears and he could see white lights spinning all around him, pulsing brighter when Jack's hands, now frantic with want, skimmed all over. He closed his eyes tighter and reached out for him, lacing their fingers firmer and firmer together. He couldn't control his emotions and he could feel wave after wave of pleasure crashing down onto him, sending him crazy.

Quietly, Jack gasped his name and rubbed their bodies together one last time. Ennis's head dropped onto his shoulder and he gripped his hand tenser, squirming against him. Opening his mouth to suck in a breath, he braced himself and wrapped his free arm around his waist.

'' Jack, Jack....'' he muttered thickly, not capable of keeping still. '' Ahh, _ah!_''

'' _Ennis!!_'' And, holding each other closer than ever, they climaxed simultaneously, climbing up the dizzy heights together. Ennis gasped and panted and Jack cuddled him warmly, the blossoms of pleasure flowing over them again and again. But, at last, it ended and they collapsed back onto the bedroll, exhausted. Jack drew the sheets over their shaking bodies and Ennis rested his head against his chest, in an echo of their position earlier.

So much had happened since then, physically and emotionally, for both of them but Ennis was too tired now to contemplate that. Within minutes, he had fallen asleep and Jack followed close after, allowing them to drift into the dream world together.

TBC


	10. The Forest Service

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 10 – The Forest Service

The next morning promised a beautiful day ahead. A golden sun shone through the trees and all the birds were singing, revealing the music of the mountains. Rivers bubbled happily through the hills and up above the sky was as blue as the water that flowed within them. It must have been the most gorgeous time for the weather up on Brokeback yet but for Ennis there was something even lovelier.

He had woken up, earlier that day, in Jack's arms, his head resting against his chest and fingers entwined through his companion's. Their hearts were beating together and as conscience slowly and lazily claimed him, he noticed they were still naked, a soft reminder of the night before. Yet, unlike the time when he had violently taken Jack in the night a couple of evenings back, he wasn't as on edge or wary about what had happened. Last time he had been torn between what seemed like a thousand different emotions but now, he felt really quite relaxed, basking in the warm sensation of being close to another person and relishing, with surprising comfort, the memories of the time they had shared the previous night.

Still, he tried not to dwell on it too much. There was a tiny part of him that continued to be a little uncomfortable about their experiences yet he didn't want that to ruin his morning. He knew how his thoughts had messed up the day after his first experience with Jack and he really didn't need to go through with that again. So, attempting to concentrate entirely on the outer and inner beauty of the morning, he curled up under the sheets and bumped up against his companion, nudging him gently from his doze.

'' Uhhh, Ennis...'' he groaned sleepily, adjusting his arm around his waist. '' Mmm...you woke me up...''

Ennis closed his eyes and smiled softly. He didn't know what the time was, but it didn't seem like it was that late, and if he was honest, he really didn't want to get up quite yet. The tent was very warm and cosy that day and Jack was so comfortable to lie against. He felt like a dazed and lazy but still content sensation had swept over him and was stopping him from rising from the bedroll. The sheep could wait a little longer.

'' Mmmmmph, Ennis...'' Jack continued after a bit, putting his face against Ennis's bare shoulder and gently kissing the skin there. '' Uh, whassa time...?''

'' Dunno...'' Ennis muttered. '' Don't care. Animals can wait...''

Jack laughed quietly and then turned Ennis to face him, their noses together. A hot hand reached up to brush tenderly at his cheek and messy hair. '' Ennis, ah-ah dunno what happened last night...Ah...Ah...Are you okay...?''

'' Mmm...ah'm fine, Jack...'' Ennis mumbled in response, hoping Jack's questions wouldn't provoke his deeper thoughts. '' Yeah...ah...ah'm fine.''

'' Good...'' Jack smiled and laced their fingers together again. Ennis rested his head on his shoulder and felt their bodies mould against each other. '' Y'know, we gotta get up at some time...'' Jack continued after a while, petting Ennis's hair. '' Aguirre'll go crazy if we don't...''

'' Hmmm...Ah know...Jus' a couple more minutes...'' Ennis couldn't believe he was saying things like that. He was usually quite paranoid and strict about the times he went up to the sheep and worried about the type of money he'd lose if he didn't but at that moment, he couldn't care less. The tent was so warm that morning.

Yet then, after a couple of blissful seconds had passed by, there was a noise out in the camp and the sound of a horse's hooves drew closer. Neither boy heard it at first but when a rough, frustrated voice came booming out, they leapt away from each other, suddenly terrified of being caught. All of Ennis's previous worries immediately came flooding back at the simple notion of being found out and he grabbed his clothes from the corner of the tent, hurriedly starting to dress.

'' Del Mar! Twist! Where the hell are you?!'' It was Aguirre. There was no doubt about it. And he sounded his usual irritable self. '' Those sheep ain't gonna herd 'emselves, y'know!''

Ennis finally got his clothes on in record time and ignoring Jack's confused look, quickly scrambled out of tent, looking a bit of a mess. Aguirre glared at him when he got out, his eyes telling everything about how he felt. Ennis gulped and braced himself for the onslaught. '' Del Mar, where the hell you been?'' his boss shouted. '' It's 10am! Ya shoulda been out there hours ago!''

'' Mmmm...'' Ennis never knew how to answer when he was in a situation like this. All he recognised in arguments was violence – as that was his brother had taught him – but he didn't have a clue had to react to Aguirre. Punches would not have been a good option.

'' And where's Twist?!'' he continued angrily. '' Ah went up to the pup tent where's he s'posed ta be an' he's not there either!''

'' Ah dunno...'' Ennis mumbled. ''...ah'll get up ta the sheep...''

'' Yeah, you better! Ah got the Forest Service comin' 'round today an' ah don't want them seein' that pup tent out or no funny bus'ness! Ya got that, Del Mar?!''

Ennis nodded frustratedly and kicked at a stone near his foot.

'' An' if ya see Twist, tell him that too!''

'' Mmm...Ah will.''

'' Well then, up ta the sheep with ya! Like ah say, they ain't gonna herd 'emselves!''

Ennis nodded again and then swept past Aguirre, grabbing the supplies on the way. Intent on getting away from the camp, he forgot about food but by the time he remembered, he was much too far away to go back. He'd just have to stick it out as best he could until the evening. Aguirre would not be a happy man if he took a break to go and grab something.

****

Yet, for the rest of the morning and the majority of the afternoon, he was starving for something to eat. He hadn't had anything since the evening before and that realisation was making things worse. All he wanted was just _something_ but he knew that Aguirre would be watching to keep an eye on him after he was late going up to the sheep earlier that day. It was kind of his fault really.

However, one good thing did come out of being continuously hungry. It meant his mind was focused more on that trouble rather than thinking about what him and Jack had got up to the night before. If he was honest, he didn't particularly know what to make of it but much to his despair, he knew it had felt unbelievably good. He wasn't about to accept that though. If anybody found out, he knew what would happen. Except he didn't want to dwell on that memory too long. He never even imagined he would wind up in the same position as those two...

Halfway through the day though, just as the afternoon sun rose to its highest point in the blue sky, there was a noise behind him and Ennis had turned round, momentarily thinking that Aguirre had caught him doing something he wasn't meant to be doing (but what that was, he wasn't sure) and was coming up to tell him in no uncertain terms. He braced himself for the second argument with his boss of the day yet then, Jack appeared through the trees with a big smile on his face. Ennis didn't know whether to tense or relax.

'' Twist, what're you doin'?'' he asked instead, confused. Jack hardly ever came up to see him when they were working and he certainly almost never seemed this happy. Ennis was aware of how much he hated doing this job. But, still, Jack laughed and rode closer, fumbling with the bag attached to the saddle of the horse.

'' Ya left without any food this mornin', Ennis...'' he said, finding something inside the canvas sack. '' Ah knew ya'd be hungry so...Ah brought ya somethin' up...''

And, much to Ennis's delight, he took out a crumbling piece of bread from a small loaf they'd been given by the guy with the supplies. With a big grin of pride, he handed it over and Ennis grabbed it, not sure what to say in reply.

'' Ya enjoy that, Ennis...Ah'll see ya fer supper...No thanks needed...'' Jack giggled and then, tipping his hat a little to his companion, turned the horse and rode back down the hill in the direction of the sheep. Looking after him, Ennis felt a strange sense of warmth spread into his stomach and he smiled, feeling a shiver run through his body but knowing it wasn't from the wind. Everything suddenly seemed alright.

****

That night, after a supper with Ennis, Jack returned to his cold pup tent on the hillside, the darkness bearing down on him but oddly, giving him no sorrow or downcast emotions. It had been a whole day since him and his companion had dramatically increased their intimacy and he felt good about it all. If he was honest, he didn't really know how Ennis felt yet then, Ennis wasn't much of a talker anyway and he wasn't going to wildly display his feelings about the situation at any point so he just stayed optimistic. After all, the previous night had gone incredibly well and it had felt – well – amazing, he thought. That was one thing he couldn't deny.

However, he wasn't scared of the things he was experiencing. He had an idea that maybe Ennis was but for him, personally, it wasn't as daunting as some would have imagined. Of course, he was with another man, which most people in the society he lived in would have seen as disgraceful, but he didn't care all that much. He lived a life that only he manned and no one could take that away from him. That was what his Daddy had said. He doubt he intended his piece of knowledge to be used in these circumstances though. His beliefs towards queers, as he called them, were almost identical to those of the culture he was part of, if not worse.

Still, Jack didn't try to keep on thinking about that too much either. For, it wasn't only his Father's advice to make his own decisions that made him be mostly calm about his sudden closer relationship with Ennis. There was another thing too. But that hurt Jack and he didn't like to dwell on it.

So, upon returning to the dreaded pup tent again that night, he stayed out with the sheep for a little while to turn his mind to awful thoughts about Aguirre and how he didn't have the right to make him do this, and then crawled onto the clammy bedroll once it got too late. He fell asleep within minutes, having had quite a hard working day (as always) and soon began to dream of Ennis, which neither scared him nor alarmed him.

However, about an hour or so later, a voice drifted through the canvas of the tent into his drowsy ears and brain. Still lost in his hazy visions, he muttered Ennis name and turned over a little, wrapping his arms around himself. He didn't want to be stirred quite yet. But the words were persistent. '' Twist! Twist!'' they came, slightly louder at each call.

'' Ennnnniiiissss...'' he moaned, though then there was a firm shake on the shoulder and he was immediately drawn from his sleep into the colder world, surrounded by soft bleats of sheep. In the entrance of the tent, he could just about make out a face peering through at him and for the first couple of moments, he was very disorientated, wondering what was going on. Yet, slowly, things fell into place and he recognised Aguirre glaring down at him, looking frustrated, once again.

'' Twist, God almighty, you're a heavy sleeper. Ah bin tryin' a wake ya fer ages...''

'' Mmmmph....What is it?'' At this time of night, Jack didn't care much about respect.

'' Well, as much as ah hate ta say this, the Forest Service came 'round t'day an' saw you an' Del Mar workin' out on the fields an' decided ya need some more help as ya constantly goin' 'bout ya job...They decided to get the other ranch hands ta do more so you an' Ennis can have some...'' Aguirre gulped as if he couldn't say the words. '' – days off...Ah damn well hate ta say that, Twist, and there's even worse news...Apparently, ya left the dang pup tent out last night an' they saw that. They want ya in the main camp with Del Mar now.''

Jack was feeling better and better as Aguirre talked (for once) but when he announced he would be staying in the camp with Ennis, his heart skipped a beat with joy, or the closest thing to joy he could manage in the middle of the night after being woken up by a irritated boss.

'' T'night...?'' he muttered tiredly in response, hoping more than anything that the answer would be yes.

'' Mmmm.''

Jack smiled in the dark, just enough to make him feel good but not enough to make Aguirre aware, and then immediately grabbed his belongings and supplies from the corner of the tent, stuffing them quickly into bags. Aguirre mumbled thousands of musings of disapproval and frustration as he did this but had to let him go in the end, knowing he had to do what the Forest Service said or face the consequences and maybe lose his workers. And that would mean less money for him.

Jack couldn't have cared less about Aguirre's anger at him though. It might have meant being treated even worse by him but at that moment, that didn't matter to him one bit. All he could think about was getting into the main camp with Ennis, as he'd wanted right from the start of working up on Brokeback that year. He'd never liked the Forest Service so much.

It didn't take him long to ride down to Ennis. He arrived there in about quarter of an hour and hurriedly slid off the horse, grabbing his bags and walking quickly over to the tent. Ennis was sleeping peacefully inside and when he saw him, he smiled contentedly, absent mindedly thinking how beautiful he looked like that. His dark blonde hair was curled and fanned out slightly over the pillow, his eyelashes were daintily stroking his gently rosy cheeks and he was curled up innocently, the sheets softly covering him. Jack's heart gave a little skip again and trying to be as quiet as possible, he swept back the canvas entrance to the tent and crawled in, momentarily drawing the blanket back.

'' Uhhhnn...'' Ennis groaned in his sleep but Jack silenced him by bringing the sheets around them again. Underneath, their bodies fit perfectly together and he embraced Ennis tenderly, nuzzling his neck.

'' Goodnight, Ennis...'' he murmured tiredly and within minutes of closing his weary eyes, he fell asleep, hoping this time not to be woken.

TBC


	11. The Main Camp

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 11 

The next morning, Ennis woke up with a drowsy smile on his face. He could feel a lovely warmth pressed up to his back and he was partially aware of an arm around his waist, fingers drawing little circles on his bare stomach. Still lost in a morning daze, he didn't know who it was but he didn't care for a few moments, giggling softly and gratefully snuggling back. This was certainly a nice change from waking up to a cold, harsh chill drifting through the tent and roughly rousing him from his always more pleasant dreams.

'' Mmmm...'' he hummed quietly and leant his head back slightly, finding a shoulder to rest it on. Dark hair tickled his cheek and he smiled again, closing his eyes once more.

'' Hmmm...'' came the soft reply from behind him. '' Hmmm, mornin', Ennis...''

''...Jack?'' Ennis mumbled tiredly, now a little confused. '' Jack, what are – what are you doin' here?''

Jack laughed gently and patted Ennis's curls, kissing them. '' That's a very nice greetin', Ennis,'' he teased. '' Pleased ta see ya too...''

Ennis shook his head and then turned to face Jack, allowing him to embrace him closer in this position. '' Ah was jus' curious...'' he grinned, putting his head against his companion's chest.

'' Mmm, well, ah got some good news for ya, cowboy...'' Jack continued lazily.

'' Whasthat?''

'' Aguirre came bah the pup tent last night an' he said that the Forest Service were makin' those other ranch hands work some more...That means we git some days off.'' Jack noticed Ennis's eyes glint a little at this statement. ''...an' also, he said they saw the tent ah was sleepin' in and decided ah should come and spend the nights down here in the main camp...with you.''

'' Oh.'' Ennis didn't quite know what to say to that. He was happy, of course he was, but as always, he wasn't sure how to tell that to Jack. He didn't think he had the bravery to kiss him right there and then so in the end, he smiled slightly wider and cuddled closer into his companion, nuzzling his neck softly. ''...have we got a day off today...?''

'' Mmmm, no, ah don't think so...Aguirre or someone'll prob'ly tell us when we have. He didn't say anythin' about when last night...''

Ennis nodded and then after a couple of blissful moments embracing Jack, pulled back slightly to glance out the tent flap at the day beyond the canvas. The sky was a light grey and a sun was straining to get through the clouds, a big yellow ball in a sea of delicate mist. It didn't look particularly attractive out there but Ennis knew he must get up soon to prepare some type of breakfast. He couldn't afford to be late out up with the sheep again.

'' What you lookin' at, Ennis?'' Jack asked, his arms still around Ennis's waist. '' It's gettin' cold in here with that open...''

'' Ah have to git up in a minute, Jack...If ya want breakfast 'fore we go up to those damn sheep anyway...''

Jack moaned and lay back down again. '' Oh, Ennis, ah don't wanna git up...''

Ennis just sighed and pulled the covers from over them, scrambling about for his clothes. Jack watched him dress with a dreamy smile on his face and then finally allowed him to crawl out of the tent, momentarily letting a chill breeze float across him when the canvas was swept back. '' What is there for ta eat, Ennis?'' he teased when he heard the clink of tin cans. Ennis snorted.

'' Oh, there's a nice big Thanksgiving dinner out here, Jack,'' Ennis grinned cheekily, putting the beans over the flickering fire. '' If ah start it now, it might be ready for lunch.''

Jack laughed. '' Jus' askin', cowboy. No need ta git clever with me.''

Ennis shook his head again and sat down near the flames, pulling his jacket tighter around him. Jack joined him out there in a couple of minutes and they ate in silence, both thanking the Forest Service for their new rules. Not only did it stop Jack from constantly complaining all the time, it also gave Aguirre what he probably deserved after making them work more than required. After finishing the beans, Jack smiled at this thought and then stood up, stretching. Ennis watched him and cleared away the cans, telling him to prepare the horses. Jack did as he was told and after a few minutes, they were riding up to the pastures together, side by side and laughing comfortably in one another's company.

****

The day, like always, was slow and dreary, with the weather not much better, and the sheep their usual selves. They grazed lazily and nonchalantly on the grass without a second glance at the horses and dogs riding around them and bleated loudly when they were forced to be moved from their desired place. Ennis sighed at this, but all throughout the hours, his mind was on subjects very different from his job. Jack was going to be staying at the main camp that night and the last time he had done that, it had been the most interesting evening of his life. He had to admit that now. It had felt amazing yet describing it as interesting and unique didn't scare him half as much. There were no strong emotions in those phrases and like he had known for a long while, Ennis didn't like strong emotions. Directly saying it was amazing would have been way beyond his comfort zone.

But, still, he was anticipating spending the night with Jack again and couldn't wait for the working day to end so he could relax. Once or twice, he saw the other ranch hands out on the fields yet he didn't bother to stop and talk to them. They wouldn't have been concerned with him and anyway, walking (or riding) on up to somebody like that wasn't the type of thing he'd do. He'd leave that to Jack, if needs be.

And he was back to thinking of Jack again. Over the course of the day, Ennis had tried to stop himself doing that but he usually didn't succeed at all. As much as he tried to deny it, he was excited about the time of going back to the main camp and he couldn't resist glancing over at the fellow cowboy when he was in sight. Quite often, he caught Jack looking at him yet he tried to ignore him, feeling a little uneasy as a blush crept over his cheeks. He didn't know what was happening to him.

However, to begin with, he tried not to let the confusion penetrate his mind. That's all that had seemed to happen to him since he had arrived on the mountain and if he was honest, he was tired of it. For the millionth time, he told himself to just get on with things as normal.

****

Later that day, as the sun began to set, Ennis left the sheep in the hands of the other herders and rode on up to camp again, his stomach twisting in anticipation. His heart was pounding a little faster than usual in his chest and no matter how hard he attempted to ignore it, he couldn't in the end. He encouraged the horse on faster and faster and soon, he had reached the campsite, finding it lonely and desolate. For a couple of moments, disappointment crept over him but he tried not to let it affect him (he'd been scared if it did). Instead, he slid off the animal and walked over to the fire, lighting it again. They hadn't come up here together for lunch that day – Jack had arrived slightly later than Ennis and they had probably missed each other by a matter of minutes yet in a way, Ennis was glad of that. Strangely, he had liked the wait up until this evening, feeling an odd sense take him over.

However, as he sat there, he realised what he was thinking and shook his head, almost laughing out loud. He couldn't believe he had got excited about a tiny thing like arriving back at camp. It reminded him a little of how he had been when he had attended school – waiting desperately for the last bell to go before he could run home. And that, in itself, was a peculiar thought too – he hardly ever thought about his childhood. Now he really didn't know what was going on with him.

Yet, luckily, before he could try and contemplate further, there was a noise behind him and two arms went around his shoulders from behind, a chin resting on the top of his head. '' Evenin', cowboy,'' came Jack's soft voice and Ennis smiled slightly, unable to help himself.

'' Evenin', Jack,'' he replied, leaning back a little.

'' You waitin' for me, Ennis?''

'' Why would ah be doin' that?'' Ennis winked and then allowed Jack to sit beside him near the fire, taking off his jacket.

'' Beans fer supper?'' Jack asked after a bit, hoping – just hoping – that maybe it'd be something different that night.

'' You bet,'' Ennis replied, shattering his ideas. '' Same as always.''

'' Y'know, ya should order somethin' different when ya go down on Friday's...''

'' Well, 's either this or soup. Pick yer favourite.''

Jack shook his head and then took his can when the food was ready. Ennis ate with him and when finished, took out the whiskey bottle, offering it over. Within minutes, they were drinking but Jack stopped before they got too tipsy, pushing the bottle away.

'' Ennis...'' he warned, playfully tapping Ennis on the knee when the cowboy tried to take another sip. '' Ennis, stop it...you know what happened last time we got drunk...''

Ennis laughed, obviously already a bit under the influence, and sighed. '' Okay, okay...'' he gave in, smiling. '' Ah won't...''

Jack grinned back and patted him on the head. '' There's a good boy...''

And they laughed together, Jack loving this lighter, looser side of Ennis. In the end, he found himself wrapping his arms tight around him and cuddling him close, nuzzling into him. Ennis stroked his hair and they fell back onto the log, Jack on top. With a smile, he kissed Ennis's jaw and then down his neck, pulling his shirt collar away with his teeth.

'' Uhh, Ennis...'' he muttered as Ennis tried to hold him again. '' Oh, ah think this is a lil' uncomfortable...D'you wanna get inta the tent...?''

Ennis nodded, hardly able to say no, and then followed his companion into the shelter, collapsing onto the bedroll with him. They kissed and touched and soon, their clothes were off, scattered carelessly over the sheets. Ennis threw Jack onto his front and entered him with a triumphant cry, sending both of them into oblivion.

'' _Ennis, oh Ennis!!_' Jack shouted but Ennis hardly said a word after his intrusion, instead moaning and panting behind his companion. He didn't know how to turn this pleasure into any form of coherent speech anyway.

Yet, as they began to climb up to incredible dizzy heights, expletives started to now and then drip from his mouth, echoing Jack's whimpers. His partner came first, letting out a long, drawn out wail of bliss, and then he followed soon after, groaning in relief.

The rest of their first permitted night in the main camp involved them lying exhausted in each other's arms underneath the covers, Jack whispering words of thanks to Ennis before resting his head on his chest and gradually drifting off. Ennis held him close, dizzy and warm after their passionate encounter and soon followed him into dream world, knowing who would be waiting for him there.

TBC


	12. Doubt

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 12 - Doubt

Over the next week or so, Jack and Ennis returned the warmth and the comfort of the tent as much as possible. After their first sober night together, Jack asked Ennis to be a little kinder with him but that promise from Ennis seemed to mean nothing. Once they got going, there was no tenderness involved – desire drew them onward and even though it hurt most of the time, Jack learned not to complain. The pleasure that he got far overruled the initial pain. Ennis knew what he liked within a couple of nights of their passionate occasions in the tent.

Yet, even after the week had passed, Jack had never led. Ennis was always on top and when he had tried to penetrate him, he had quickly pushed him off, looking worried. After that, Jack didn't push any further but he still wondered why Ennis had had that gaze in his eyes. Maybe it was he was frightened of getting hurt or something like that. Jack had certainly been his first time.

However, Ennis knew perfectly well what it was. He was terrified of penetration and it wasn't just the pain that struck fear into his veins. Of course, he was scared very much of that but there was something much bigger. He thought that if he allowed Jack to lead and enter him, he would be giving himself over to him. Even after a week of sex with his companion and growing wonders, he was still trying to convince himself that he wasn't queer. After all, he had pretty Alma waiting at home for him and she had no idea what was happening. That, along with the fact that Jack was another man, bothered him immensely. Basically, he was cheating on her and it would have been terrible if that person was a girl – let alone a guy. Deep down, he felt terrible and quite often, his emotions would get horrible tangled up. On one hand, what he was doing with Jack was amazing – he had to admit that, no matter how strange it sounded to him. The sensations he got when he was with the cowboy were mainly good ones and that thought lurked dangerously in the back of his head. Yet, on the contrary, he couldn't get Alma out of his mind. He was marrying her in a couple of months and here he was having sex with a different person. That wasn't the right thing to do – he knew that. But he couldn't stop himself. He didn't know how and that scared him very much.

Plus, he felt that, if he allowed Jack to lead during their encounters in the tent (and sometimes outside in the camp when it was a warm evening), he would lose his sense of being a man. Something would be stolen from inside of him and it would then belong to Jack. He could try and forget about their experiences but really, Jack would have a part of him. He didn't want that to happen at all. He was straight. He was straight. He was straight. That seemed to be his mantra at that point.

So, after a while, he started to try and convince himself that what was happening between him and Jack was merely a one shot thing – still. They were doing what they were doing because they were two lonely men up on a mountain, away from any girls, and they had needs. These needs drew them to each other and that was exactly why they were having sex at nights and sometimes in the mornings before work. It filled their desires for being with women and made them feel a little less alone. That was the explanation, that was the explanation, Ennis repeated again and again in his mind.

Yet he still wondered why Jack was so calm about this whole thing. Ennis guessed he probably didn't have anyone at home, waiting for him, or that he was thinking the same thoughts about filling lonely needs. Whatever the reason though, he was very open and accepting about their times together and never seemed to be frightened of penetration or feelings (not that there were any, Ennis tried to say to himself). He let Ennis do anything to him and never complained (if the point when he asked him not to be so rough didn't count). Sometimes, it drove Ennis mad that he was so tranquil, when his own mind was in turmoil, and he almost found it impossible to stand.

But what bothered Ennis the most was that there was something else. The times they were together, there was _something else_. He didn't think he wanted to find out what that was.

***

Jack, meanwhile, was nowhere near as tense as Ennis. Of course, he was a little wary but he was an optimistic spirit and tried to think more of the good things than the bad things. And in his mind there were more positive things.

For one, it was lovely to have company up on the mountain. He knew Aguirre was a tough guy and wouldn't have wanted him and Ennis to be together that much but rules were rules and he had had to go along with at least some of them. It had been annoying staying up in the pup tent yet since a week ago, he had been allowed to stop that, thanks to the Forest Service whom he now had a good deal more respect for. Now he had much more time with Ennis and he was grateful for any companion. He didn't feel quite as lonely with him there and he helped him forget his troubles. Though he didn't like to think of them anyway. But sometimes he couldn't help it.

However, sex with Ennis was usually wonderful. Jack would have liked to lead once or twice but he didn't know what to do or say about that. Ennis didn't talk much anyway so Jack doubted he'd like to converse in subjects such as sex and intimacy. On some occasions, they couldn't even get past beans.

Therefore, Jack hadn't brought it up. He just took what was given to him and though it hurt at some points, he kept his mouth shut, only allowing muddled babbles of pleasure through during their times together. Ennis seemed okay with that, though he hardly ever uttered anything himself while they were having sex. It was impossible for them to keep completely silent but still, there was minimal noise from his companion and that bewildered Jack. That guy really didn't like to talk, he thought.

But, usually, it didn't bother him in a bad way. He had got used to Ennis not being the best converser and he hardly ever showed his emotions. That made him very hard to read yet Jack knew he wasn't up on the mountain to get overly sentimental. However, he still had no clue whatsoever what was going on inside Ennis's brain.

Sometimes though, he had no idea what was going on inside his. Usually, it was fairly clear but now and then, a thought or memory would come up that he wasn't prepared for. And quite often, that thought or memory would be of a particular thing that he didn't like to think about too much. For it hurt him and then he would begin to realise something even more painful.

Though, again, he tried not to let that thought penetrate his mind too often either. There was some things that were best left alone.

***

Also, over the next week, Jack and Ennis met the ranch hands that would be working more frequently with them. Their names were Russ and Cameron and they were big, no nonsense guys who got on with the task in hand and hardly spoke a word to anybody in the process. Jack had thought Ennis wasn't much of a talker but after meeting them, he seemed to speak volumes.

Their encounter was brief yet Jack knew that, afterwards, he didn't want to meet them again. They were unkind and rough and even though this was not unlike many ranch hands he knew, these two seemed to look down on him and Ennis like they were worse than them. They appeared arrogant and extremely unfriendly and the two cowboys knew the occasions when they would be working together wouldn't be a walk in the park.

But although their companions weren't the nicest people in the world, Ennis felt slightly glad that they didn't talk much. He didn't like to be around crowds he didn't know and hated when they constantly talked to him as he hardly ever said anything back. Sometimes it was because he didn't care but often it was because he didn't know what to talk about. He hated conversations.

However, that wasn't to say he liked the other ranch hands. In that brief meeting they'd had, they had treated him and Jack like dirt and might just as well as rode off on their horses without a look back. It was obvious they couldn't care less and they'd rather be doing other things. Not nice guys at all.

So, due to this, Jack and Ennis ignored them back and tried to get them in as much mess as possible when working out on the fields with them.

That was fun.

***

One night though, the atmosphere in the camp took a turn for the worse. Darkness had just fallen and it had been a long day for Ennis and Jack, having done more than their fair share of work for the time off they had not the next day but the one after that (this was under Aguirre's orders – he had to find some way around the Forest Service's rules to his liking). Tired, the two ranch hands had trudged back up to the camp site and Ennis had clumsily made the soup he had got from the supplies man the Friday before. Jack had laid his head in his lap as he did this and Ennis struggled to let him go on, having been irritable after the doubting, fretting thoughts swarming around his head recently. He had tried to accept things and get on with work but it was becoming harder and harder to do so. It resulted in a growing worry in his mind, heart and gut. Jack had been the creator of it.

'' Mmmm, Enniiiissss...'' Jack mumbled that evening, pulling Ennis's hand up to pat his hair. '' Mmm, you're so comfy...''

'' Jack, c'mon, ah cain't make this damn soup if ya doin' that...'' Ennis grumbled.

'' Don't care...Cain't we jus' got ta bed, Ennis?''

'' Jack...''

'' Ennis...'' Jack looked up at him with big, blinking blue eyes, trying to seduce him into accepting his desire. Ennis's mind didn't change one bit.

'' Jack, jus' sit up. Ah ain't in the mood.''

Jack paused and did as he was told a little, resting his arms across Ennis's thighs as he laid on his front beside him. '' What's up, Ennis?'' he asked gently, rubbing his forehead against his arm. '' Don't ya like this...?''

'' Jack, c'mon. Ah don' wanna talk about it.''

'' Ennis, ya never wanna talk about anythin'. Ah hate watchin' ya goin' about those fields lookin' like the world's on yer shoulders. Lighten up a bit, friend.''

'' Jack, ah ain't here ta 'lighten up'. Ah'm here ta git paid so me an' Alma can go an' have a proper nice wedding in November.''

'' Don't she ever git bothered bah you not sayin' much?''

'' Why would she?''

'' Well, she's gonna be yer wife, Ennis. Ain't ya gonna tell her yer secrets?''

'' What, like this one?'' Ennis asked angrily, poking the fire rather aggressively. '' What's she gonna say about that?''

'' Ennis, c'mon. Ah was only kiddin' with ya.''

'' Yeah, well...'' Ennis suddenly slammed down the poker, turning to Jack with a burning look in his eyes. '' Yer always kiddin' aren't ya? Don't this mean anythin' to ya – don't what we're doin' bother ya in any way? Jack, we're two men – this ain't right! Cain't ya see that?''

'' Ennis, what's the matter with you? Why are ya bringin' this up all of a sudden? We been together like this for a while now.''

'' Don't say it like that, Jack! Ah ain't 'been t'gether with ya'! Ah'm 'together' with Alma, not you! Why are you doin' this ta me?''

'' Ennis, ah'm not doin' –''

'' Well, we should jus' stop anyway! This thing ain't gonna go anywhere so, really, ah don't know what ah'm worryin' about! Ah'm not queer – ah have a fiancée – an' ah'm gonna forget about you, Jack! This is still jus' a one shot thing! Once we git down off this mountain, it's not gonna matter anymore!''

'' Ennis, ah think ya should calm down...C'mon, you should go ta bed...Yer all over the place.''

'' Well, you did that ta me, Jack! Ah cain't think straight anymore! Ah don't know anythin' an' ah don't want to! Jus' leave me alone!''

Jack sighed and tried to move closer to Ennis, knowing he was horribly confused about everything, reaching out to embrace him. Ennis, infuriated and bewildered, shoved him away and stood up, leaping back from his companion.

'' Ennis, ah'm tryin' a' help!''

'' Well, ya not doin' a very good job of it, Jack Twist! So far up on this damn mountain, ya've changed mah life fer the worse an' ah...ah don't know what ta do about it no more!''

And with that, Ennis grabbed his things and hurried out of the camp, violently pushing back the branches of the trees in his way. Jack stood up and tried to follow him, but soon lost sight of him through the dense foliage and gave up desperately calling his name. He attempted eating, though he had lost his appetite, and in the end, he retired to the tent earlier than usual, hoping to lose himself in dreams.

But, really, he knew he wouldn't get one minute of sleep that night.

TBC


	13. Sometimes When We Touch

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 13

Ennis found himself back in the main camp the next night, sitting with his arms wrapped tight around him in the tent. He was cold and lonely and considering he hadn't seen Jack since their argument the previous evening, also very worried. Yet he didn't know what about. Deep inside him, he knew he felt bad about the things he'd said and that it wasn't Jack's fault this had happened but there was something else to it as well. He didn't want Jack to hate him after the angry words they'd shared, as he was at least a companion on an otherwise lonesome mountain, yet he was still confused. By being with Jack, memories that he'd rather have forgotten were being dragged up from his childhood and they frightened him immensely, driving him into deeper distress.

When he was only a very young child, there had been two men living in his hometown who were as tough as anything but they lived together so no one had really cared about their personality. Ennis didn't understand, being at that tender age, though upon hearing what Earl and Rich's (for those were their names) fate was, his Father had took him and his brother down to the irrigation ditch and shown them the horrible truth of the matter. One of the men had been tossed mercilessly there, his body mangled and mutilated, and he was as still as the world seemed around him. That image had stuck in Ennis's mind all through his life since that day and he despised to think about it, knowing it wasn't something a young boy wanted to see. He hadn't fully grasped the whole meaning of it back then but his Father had told him in no uncertain terms what it meant and Ennis had never forgotten his words. He had never been overly worried about them yet now, his heart was thudding with fright, realising that the implications of the picture permanently imprinted in his brain were finally hitting very close to home. He didn't want to be like that. He did not want to be like that.

After a while, he found he was muttering those words to himself over and over again, shaking his head in despair. He clutched his body tight and knew that he had never felt so lonely in his life. He had Alma waiting for him at home, a wedding on the near horizon, and their plans were going well, yet that didn't seem to register with him anymore. All that was in his thoughts was Brokeback Mountain and Jack Twist and those two men back in his old hometown when he was a child. Why was this happening to him? He never asked for anything like it to occur.

Suddenly though, as he stared into the darkness before him, there was a noise outside in the camp and the canvas opening of the tent was pulled back. Jack crawled into the shelter but Ennis didn't turn, not being able to face him. For a while, there was no other sound but then his companion took off his shirt and leant closer to him, almost resting his head on his shoulder. Ennis looked slightly to the side, not wanting to even catch Jack's scent.

'' Ennis...?'' he asked gently, barely above a whisper. '' Ennis, ah'm sorry about last night...Ah didn't mean ta hurt ya, ya know ah didn't...'S mah fault...''

Ennis didn't reply, just brought his shoulders up closer to his ears in a defensive position and stared into the dark before him, trying to pretend he was again alone in the tent. He was terrified of what Jack might try to do. Yet, for another few minutes, there was silence once more and finally, Jack pulled back, sighing softly and lying back on the bedroll. Ennis continued to sit up at the end of it and even when Jack curled up into a sleeping position behind him, he didn't move. He didn't want to move. Not for the rest of the night until Jack had gone back up to the sheep. He wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

About half an hour seemed to pass by after that – it could have been longer, could have been shorter but Ennis didn't really care. Time didn't matter to him anymore. His thoughts and worries had broken through the boundaries of minutes and hours and had left him confused and disorientated again. He had never wondered and pondered so much before he came up onto this mountain. Jack had caused that too. Another reason to ignore him. He used to have a good, simple life until Brokeback. Now that was all over.

Yet, suddenly, as he shivered in the cold breeze drifting through the tent and furiously tried to stop his eyes from getting hot, he heard another noise behind him and there was a delicious warmth against his back. He wanted to sink into it, wanted that so much, but he couldn't, memories of Earl and Rich creeping in. He turned his head to the side again, feeling breath at his ear, yet this time there was no halt, no stopping. Jack's hands slowly slid around his stomach, being very gentle, and he froze, being in almost too much of a delicate state to be touched. Jack sensed this reaction but wasn't scared. He moved his hands around further so now his arms were wrapped around his waist and attempted pulling Ennis back, yearning to make him feel more comfortable. He didn't want to see him like this. He hated it.

'' See...'' he muttered softly after a bit, feeling the cowboy trembling. '' ...it's alright...''

And very gradually, he rocked him further back into his arms and guided him ever so gently onto the bedroll beside him, noticing how big and frightened his eyes were in the dark. It seemed like his outer shell had been smashed to pieces and now he was left alone and very vulnerable in the world, as scared as a child without company and far away from home. There was something much more than the argument they'd had troubling him.

'' It's okay, it's okay...'' he whispered again and again but Ennis wouldn't let him touch anymore, nervously batting his hands away as he advanced. Jack didn't try to push him though. Strangely, he looked like he might cry at any moment and that was the last thing Jack wanted. He would only go at the pace Ennis set.

For a while, they just laid there, looking at each other and wondering what was happening to them. Jack's fingers hovered inches away from Ennis's skin, almost needing to pet or stroke him to try and bring out some type of comfort, but Ennis kept glancing at them with frightened eyes, warning him off without saying a word. Something was happening that night and neither was sure whether they wanted to know what it was.

Yet, still, Jack remained confident. He didn't gaze anywhere else but Ennis's wide brown eyes and hardly moved at all, not wanting to lest he broke the silent bond between them. Ennis continued to shiver in front of him though, almost whimpering in the cruel evening. He didn't know what to do with himself but as he began to close his eyes, longing for sleep that he knew wouldn't come, Jack finally couldn't take it anymore. Gently, he reached for Ennis's hand and trying to ignore his scared glance, guided it to his bare chest, placing it over his softly beating heart. Ennis gulped and sniffed, too wound up in too many emotions to move any further.

'' Ennis...'' Jack muttered tenderly, placing a hand over his companion's. He was so cold. '' It's alright...You can touch me...''

Ennis shook his head slowly but Jack just reached out and brushed his cheek with a finger, smoothing out a flinch. '' Don't be scared...Nothing bad's gonna happen to you. Ah promise...''

Ennis sniffed again and bit his bottom lip. He didn't want to disappoint Jack and there was a yearning desire deep inside of him, wanting – needing – to feel him but Earl and Rich were back in his mind again and the irrigation ditch was following them. He didn't know if he could do it.

'' Ennis...It's alright, friend...Jus' me an' you...No one else...''

Ennis gradually nodded, trying to convince himself now, and very slowly curved his fingers, stroking along Jack's soft skin and sensing how warm he was, accepting his insecure touch. A strange bond bloomed between them and he moved closer, raising another shuddering hand and unsurely putting it on Jack's chest too. Jack smiled and looked at him with encouraging eyes, willing him onwards. Ennis attempted a smile back but ended up nuzzling up against Jack's neck, desperately fighting back tears. He sobbed quietly and blindly rubbed over his companion's skin, up and down his chest then his sides to caress his neck and cheek, fingering his dark, fluffy hair. Jack could tell how terrified he still was so after a while, he took his hands and squeezed them slightly, turning onto his side. Ennis looked up at him and his eyes were a little red, glossy in the pale moonlight. Adoringly, Jack mouthed his name and leant in, almost hearing him whisper ''no...'' to the night.

But as he closed his eyes and felt their bodies press together, honest warmth spreading between them. Ennis trembled all over and pulled back slightly, turning away from Jack's willing mouth. He clutched his hand and tried to tell him not to do this yet nothing came out. So he attempted to accept it, his eyes already closed to stop the tears from falling, and parted his lips, his heart beating uncontrollably as they connected with Jack's. And then, all of a sudden, they were embracing, Ennis grasping his arms and not sure whether he wanted to stop or carry on. He didn't know what was happening to him anymore...

Instinctively, he winced as Jack tenderly cupped his cheek and encouraged the kiss to deepen considerably, tongues now being introduced. Ennis grabbed frantically onto his companion for dear life, oblivion spinning around him. Within the swirling mists, the image of the irrigation ditch suddenly flashed into his mind, followed by his father, Earl, Rich and Aguirre and immediately, he tensed up, his eyes flying open. Jack tried to hug him to calm him down but he roughly pushed him off, breathing heavily.

'' Ennis....Ennis, what's wrong, friend...?'' he asked softly, trying to reach out and help. '' Tell me what's up, Ennis...''

Ennis shook his head and brought a hand to his forehead, stifling a sob. Jack looked up at him with kind eyes for a while and then extended an arm again, stroking his blonde hair. Ennis turned once more, gulping heavily and almost losing his control over his tears as Jack leant in to whisper into his ear.

'' Please don't be scared, Ennis...'' he murmured with all the tenderness in the world. '' Ah'm not gonna hurt you, friend an' ah'm not gonna push you or nothin', okay...? Please don't tremble like this...There's nothing to be afraid of...''

'' Ah know...'' Ennis replied ever so quietly though he couldn't believe it. '' Ah'm so sorry, Jack...''

'' Not your fault, friend.'' And Jack smiled sweetly, stroking Ennis's cheek with one hand and ducking his head slightly to gently kiss his neck. Ennis tried to loosen up and go along with it all – tried to believe in Jack's sincere words – but it was so hard, especially when Jack's other hand dropped to fondle the first button on his shirt. Once again, he froze yet not wanting to disappoint, let them come undone at his companion's deft touch until the material fell away.

'' Jack...'' he choked out, looking up into his blue eyes as he pulled his undershirt over his head. He had no idea what was going to happen that night. That scared him. And all of a sudden, he was even more shy, feeling bare in front of Jack, even though he'd been completely naked with him before. He couldn't move, paralyzed by nerves and worries. Jack sensed this and put a hand on his chest, dipping his head to kiss at the skin over and over again. Ennis closed his eyes and unsurely petted his hair, hearing encouragement flow from Jack's mouth. '' Oh Ennis....'' he breathed quietly, letting him hold his hand again. '' Ennis, you're so beautiful...so, so beautiful...''

'' Ah'm not, Jack...'' Ennis replied, shaking his head. '' Not at all...''

'' Yes you are, Ennis...Ah think you are...The most beautiful person ah've ever seen...''

Ennis sniffed, overwhelmed by emotion, and heard the sound of metal scratching over leather as Jack's belt came undone. His heart skipped but he tried to block out noises, concentrating on the feeling of Jack's lips all over his chest and neck. But, after a bit, his own belt was unbuckled and he immediately opened his eyes, glancing down with a wide gaze. Jack returned it, looking up and smiling tenderly, showing it was alright. Ennis felt he couldn't stop him as he slid off both of their jeans, though he trembled even more than before when they both ended up naked, under the covers together. Sensing he was struggling, Jack slowly slid off the top of him and lay beside his body, seeing he was on the point of breakdown, sniffing and running his hands over his forehead and face while tears brimmed in his eyes.

'' Jack, Jack...'' he was muttering desperately, shaking his head. '' Jack, Jack, ah don't – ah don't know what ah want anymore...Ah jus' don't – don't...''

'' Ssssh, sssh, Ennis...'' Jack whispered tenderly, leaning back in and embracing him. This time, Ennis accepted and buried his face in his companion's shoulder, his throat aching with the amount of tears he was trying to swallow and keep back. Jack rocked him gently and after a while, he gradually laid him back down, sitting beside him. Ennis watched him with sparkling, wet eyes and then lifted a hand, unsure of what he desired. Still, Jack took it and kissed his fingers lightly, advancing slowly down his arm. '' So beautiful, Ennis...'' he whispered again and Ennis moved the other arm around his neck, feeling him move on top once more. His kisses shifted to his neck and Ennis turned his head again, hearing admirable words slip from his mouth between soft caresses.

'' Oh Ennis...'' he sighed lightly. '' Oh Ennis, please kiss me...''

Ennis hesitated but Jack still stroked his cheeks and leant down, telling him everything was okay. Their mouths met again and Ennis felt helpless beneath him, his hands almost pinned to the bedroll by fear. He didn't dare touch Jack anymore as they increased their intimacy. Yet Jack sank further onto him, invisible but beautiful warmth connecting them once more. Their hearts beat together and Ennis knew how gentle and slow Jack was being with him. He didn't want to seem ungrateful and he certainly didn't want to disappoint him but he couldn't return the confidence. Still, halfway through the kiss, Jack's hand moved and one ended up on his knee, spreading his legs ever so slightly. Ennis immediately broke away, his eyes wide.

Jack just smiled. '' Ennis, it's alright...Ah won't do it if you don't want me to...''

Ennis gulped. He didn't know what he wanted, certainly not now. His heart was pounding faster than ever but Jack's soft, calming eyes were melting into his soul, making him tremble further and almost let tears drip down his cheeks. His companion was being so sweet, miles away from how he'd first imagined him all those weeks ago when they'd first met, and the emotions from this were overwhelming him. He couldn't speak but he tried opening his legs a little more, ignoring his raging nerves. Jack smiled again and between tender encouragements, took a damp bar of soap from his jacket pocket. '' Ennis, you know ah'll stop if you want me to...Ah'll go slow, ah promise...Ah won't hurt you...''

Ennis nodded, but he wasn't really listening. He was lost in this strange world and wondering what was happening to him. He'd never been more scared in his life. Still, as Jack leant back over him, pressing their foreheads together, he didn't reach up to hold him. He could barely move anymore than the position he was already in.

''...okay, Ennis?'' Jack muttered somewhere down the line when his fingers were wet with soap. '' Tell me when you're ready, darlin'...Jus' relax...''

'' Ah- ah'm ready...'' Ennis sobbed, trying desperately to do what his partner said. This was going to hurt even more if he didn't. Jack nodded and then slid a hand up between his shaking legs, finding his target. Ennis turned cold as the tip of his finger penetrated him. A gasp escaped his unwary lips. '' Sssh...'' came the soft reply and Jack moved further inside, feeling Ennis swallow him. '' Ah'm gonna try another, Ennis...Don't worry...''

Another gasp fell from Ennis's mouth as Jack gained entrance again, scissoring with his other finger. White lights burst in front of his eyes and he thought he felt a tear trickle down his cheek. It hurt a lot. '' Uh Jack, please...'' he whispered but too quietly for Jack to hear.

'' Okay, Ennis...'' Jack just continued, petting his companion's sides and hair to try and calm him. '' Ah'm gonna go for one more...Ah'm so sorry if this hurts...You've gotta be ready, friend...''

And a third finger went in before Ennis could adjust to the last, making him shuffle. Jack held him steady, nuzzling his neck. But then his fingers were gone and Ennis was left feeling slightly empty, though the intrusions had been quite painful. He knew it was nothing compared to what was about to come though. His mind was spinning. Did he really want this to happen? Worries from the previous week crept back into his head. He couldn't give himself over like this, could only just trust Jack...Still, the tranquil look on his companion's face made him melt, attempting to turn his thoughts around.

'' Ennis...'' Jack whispered, letting their lips come within centimetres of each other again. Ennis gulped, caught somewhere between paradise and hell. '' Ah can stop if you want me to, Ennis...Ah ain't gonna do anythin' that you don't want, you know that, right? 'S the last thing ah wanna do...Do you want this...?''

Ennis choked out another sob, opening his legs wide. '' Jus' do it, Jack...'' he whimpered and Jack nodded, lathering himself with more than enough soap. Ennis was touched at how much he really didn't want to cause him pain, though he could tell he was frightened too. It didn't help how he was feeling. Yet he didn't know what that was.

'' Alright, Ennis...'' Jack murmured, his voice trembling by then. '' Lift your legs, darlin'...That's gonna make it easier...'' Ennis did as he was told and realised all of a sudden they had never done this face to face before. He couldn't bare to acknowledge what he was doing when he was in bed with Jack. '' That's it...'' Jack continued, terrified now of hurting Ennis. '' Now...jus' wrap them around me...Ah'll go slow, promise...Tell me what you want an' we'll do that...''

But Ennis couldn't speak. He desperately wrapped his legs around Jack's waist and then clung on for dear life as he glanced down momentarily, getting in position. He thought he might faint yet Jack gently stroked his arms and hair, then lacing their fingers together. Ennis clutched his hand tightly. '' Ennis...relax...please...sweetheart, ah won't hurt you...''

And then suddenly everything happened at once. Jack entered Ennis and he cried out, unable to help himself. Pain grasped all his body and he instinctively tightened, warning Jack. '' It'll get better, Ennis...get better...oh...Ennis...trust me, darlin'...''

Ennis shook and felt Jack bury his face in the crook of his neck, moving a little. He was trying to break through but he wasn't letting him, pushing back. There was something much more than pain troubling him. But Jack was being so kind, taking things slower than Ennis had ever dreamt of. He knew how much this meant, though he hated to admit that, and gradually he found himself attempting to help. He spread his legs wider and wider and lifted his hips a little more, hearing Jack whimpering softly on top of him. With a little moan, he thrust forward once again and finally, got through. Ennis's eyes flew open but Jack just sighed, finding warmth waiting for him.

'' Jack...!'' Ennis sobbed but though he was still terrified, pleasure was slowly drifting over him. Jack's rhythm was so soft and tender and his movement was barely there. Before long, Ennis found himself moving along with him. It felt so strange to be doing this. '' Oh Jack, please...''

'' Ennis...'' Jack tried not to moan and alarm Ennis yet he couldn't deny how wonderful this was. His companion was finally meeting his thrusts and they were gradually discovering a slow but passionate pace, the warm sheets falling over them. He could feel him trembling still though he didn't know what it was from anymore. Oblivion was soaring around them and the world could have been ending and they wouldn't have noticed.

However, after a while, Ennis began to shake further, his whole body captured under a long shiver. Jack held him close and at last, he returned the embrace, reaching out for him for the first time during sex. It had never, never, never been like this before. A horribly odd feeling was creeping through his veins. He knew he was slowly giving himself over.

'' Oh...'' he sighed and Jack nuzzled him, beginning to discover more and more. On a few thrusts, he brushed on a delicate, secret spot inside Ennis and his companion gasped in surprise, not knowing of such places. And as Jack continued to push into it, he started to moan, hardly able to keep the sounds back anymore. Much to his despair, the warning signals were rolling over him, completely out of his control. He had never come before Jack, always made sure to hold out longer than him. He couldn't do this, couldn't, just couldn't...

Jack knew what was happening, felt every single movement of Ennis's and was fully aware of what each meant. Ennis was terrified again. He wished more than anything he would just relax and let this occur naturally. '' Ennis...'' he panted, hitting that spot over and over again. '' Oh Ennis...it's okay...come for me, sweetheart...''

'' Ah cain't...'' Ennis moaned, desperately shaking his head and trying to ignore the overwhelming bliss slowly claiming him. '' Jack, please, ah cain't, ah cain't...''

'' It's alright...alright...alright...''

'' Nooo...'' Ennis panted, closing his eyes even tighter shut and trying to fight the forces of nature. But it was no use anymore. Jack was moaning and whimpering against his neck and continually hitting that spot inside of him, driving him further into flashing white lights sparkling in oblivion. '' Ohhh Jaaack....please don't – don't..._Ahhhh...._''

And that was it. Ennis clutched Jack desperately tight as he came, gasping and panting when it almost became too much for him. Darkness fell around him for a while and within it, he heard Jack's final distant moan, signalling his finish. It lasted for what seemed like forever but finally, reality returned and Jack gently moved out of Ennis, sliding beside him.

'' En-Ennis...?'' he asked quietly, gliding a hand over his cheek. '' Ennis, you alright?''

Slowly, Ennis nodded and turned onto his side, reaching out for a hug. Jack happily responded and they curled up in each other's arms, hardly believing what had just happened. Ennis desperately clutched at dreams, wanting to escape, but deep within, he knew something had just changed. And as Jack gradually drifted off to sleep, he ran a finger over his cheek and whispered something in his ear. '' Ah trust you, Jack....''

TBC


	14. A Problem Shared

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 14 – A Problem Shared 

Jack gently petted Ennis's hair as he laid against him, his cheeks flushed and eyes glossy after the sex they had just had. They were under the covers together and tired but after waking up from their quick snooze for unknown reasons, neither had drifted off again yet, instead just enjoying the comfort of each other's arms. Ennis was too dozy to contemplate what had just happened though he was surprised to feel that there wasn't as much worry in him as he previously would have thought. Jack had been lovely to him and gone extremely slow and tender and now, he felt alright about it, even if he hadn't been during the sex. However, there was one thing he wasn't quite sure about – why on earth Jack had called him 'darlin' and 'sweetheart'. That seemed a bit bizarre to him but he tried not to dwell on it too much. He just wanted to savour the moment of being close to Jack again.

But then, from behind him, Jack moved a little and he turned his head slightly, his eyelids beginning to sting. '' Jaaaa...?'' he murmured, too sleepy to finish his name. '' What you doin'?''

'' Jus' gettin' comfy,'' Jack smiled and then wrapped his arms around Ennis again, pulling him close.

'' Mmmm....'' came the content reply. '' Mmmm, Jack, d'we have ta git up in the mornin'? Cain't the sheep tend ta 'emselves...?''

'' Ah wish they could, Ennis...'' Jack giggled, feeling quite amused by his companion's tiredness. ''...but ah was talkin' ta Russ and Cameron – the other ranch hands – yesterday an' apparently, they're takin' over for a day so...we got the day off.''

'' Hmm...good. Ah don't like workin' up here the best o' times... Was it as bad as this last year when ya came up?''

Jack suddenly froze, his arms tightening around Ennis's waist. Ennis turned his head again, seeing his partner's eyes had become a little wider. '' Jack?'' he muttered. '' Jack, you okay?''

'' Ummm....yeah, ah'm fine, jus'...''

'' Jus' what? Ya look like ya jus' seen a ghost.''

'' No, no...it's jus'...well...ah don't know...''

Ennis nodded, wondering what was up but deciding not to press any further. However, Jack seemed not to want to let it go. After a while, he shuffled again behind Ennis and rested his head on his shoulder, jolting him from his quiet doze. '' Ennis?'' he murmured gently into his ear, shaking him softly into conscience. '' Ennis, wake up...''

'' Wha....?'' Ennis moaned, rubbing his eyes. '' Jack...what's wrong?''

'' Ennis, ah...ah need ta tell you somethin'.''

''...what?''

'' Well, ah...Ah don't really know how ta say it...''

Ennis paused and turned his head slightly, seeing Jack was serious. '' What is it?'' he asked carefully.

Jack sighed and looked down a little. Ennis seemed quite patient and sincere but what he was about to say was a huge thing for him. He'd never told anyone before in his life – would never have even dreamt of it as he knew that if he did reveal the secret to the wrong person (which seemed to, unfortunately, be a lot of individuals), he could get killed for it. And what was just as bad was that he had been trying to forget about it anyway. Coming up to this mountain again had stirred memories and whenever they had risen to his conscious mind, he had tried to rid them because they pained him too much. He didn't deal with pain well – he was aware of that now – and certainly didn't want to hurt Ennis. Yet that wasn't the only reason he attempted not to remember – especially now he knew Ennis better. There was something much deeper.

'' Jack? Are you alright?'' Ennis muttered. Jack had never thought he'd hear them say those words, even if he had beforehand. They still sounded so sweet to his ears.

'' Yes...'' he murmured after a while. '' Yeah, ah'm fine, jus'...Tryin' ta work out how to say this...''

'' Jus' say it, Jack...It doesn't have ta be a perfect novel...''

'' Okay...'' Jack took a deep breath and ran a quivering hand across his forehead. Ennis slowly turned around to face him, his eyes sleepy but attentive. ''...well, last year when ah came up here, Ennis, there was – there was...there was someone else with me, jus' like this summer...His name was Dakota an' he was older than me – me bein' eighteen here – but he was really nice ta me an'...'' Jack trailed off momentarily and Ennis saw him gulp. Talking about this obviously troubled him and even though Ennis wanted to find out more, he didn't particularly want to see him like this – no matter how much uncomfortable that thought made him.

'' Jack, you don't have ta tell –''

'' No, ah must, Ennis. It's drivin' me mad keepin' it bottled up,'' Jack interrupted, looking up again. '' Well, anyway...me an' Dakota...we...we were like how – how me an' you are t'gether. It wasn't much but we spent a few nights...in the tent an' ah-ah thought ah really liked him. Ah guess ah was jus' naive – come ta think about it though, s' only a year ago – but when we left the mountain, he said he'd contact me an' stay in touch...He never did once call me or come ta see me, even when he knew where ah was...'' Jack looked down again and Ennis thought he could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. He found himself reaching out and touching his arm, surprised at his own movement. Jack smiled softly. ''...but it's okay...Now ah realise ah didn't actually like him that much. A year on an'...well, ah tend not ta try an' think of it too often. Ah know he hurt me an' ah really don't like thinkin' about him, even if it was jus'...jus' a one shot thing.''

Ennis suddenly felt his heart skip. He wasn't quite sure why but it could have been something to do with the fact that he had used the exact words to describe his and Jack's meeting on the mountain. He hadn't thought about it at the time yet now he wondered if that had hurt his companion. He'd obviously been through more than Ennis had previously expected. That must have been why he wasn't as tense as he was about their experiences together. Ennis suddenly felt a quick burst of admiration come over him. Jack had come back up to Brokeback even after his rather ill-fated journey the year before, defying any bad memories and standing his ground. That must have been a hard thing to do.

However, strangely, he wasn't all that shocked that Jack had had an encounter with another man previous to himself. He seemed to be more experienced and, again, more confident and relaxed than him, implying that he had done something like this before. Ennis thought he was more stunned that Jack had actually opened up to him. If he had done that to most other people, he would have been killed or, at least, severely hurt. Ennis knew he would have reacted that way too a month or so ago. Now, he couldn't believe how much he'd changed, certainly in his beliefs. Not for the first time, he realised what this mountain had brought out of him. He wasn't sure whether it was for the better or worse.

But Jack seemed to trust in him quite a bit. After a while, he looked up again and smiled gently, looking into Ennis's eyes. The corners of Ennis's lips twitched in response and Jack swept him into his arms, whisperings words of thanks into his ear. Much to Ennis's relief, he didn't appear to want or need any type of sympathy in return to his openness and experiences – not voiced anyway. He'd hug him but no words could be said. He couldn't bring himself to try and be as tender as to comfort Jack.

So, he cuddled his companion close and let them drift back under the covers together, the warmth too inviting to resist any longer. Jack clung on and smiled dreamily when they regained their previous positions, their arms wrapped tight around each other. Now feeling like he had got a huge amount off his mind, he closed his eyes and settled against Ennis, mumbling a final goodnight before falling into a deep sleep.

TBC


	15. The Day Off

**The Power of Love**

Much to Ennis and Jack's delight, the next day was a day off. They woke up late into the morning and knowing that the other ranch hands – Russ and Cameron – were taking the majority of their jobs today, they didn't bother to get up until the sun was sturdy in the sky. Then, Ennis just about managed to drag himself out of the tent, his clothes carelessly thrown on, and cook them up some soup over the fire, this time allowing Jack to drape himself over him, a distant sleepy smile on his face. Happily, he petted his dark hair and after eating, they walked down to the river. It was a beautiful day and they decided to take the long route along the wooded path where nobody else could see them. Jack laced his fingers through Ennis's and as they strolled along hand in hand, he sang softly to the quiet world around them, making Ennis giggle. After their experience together the night before, he felt a lot better around him, much more confident in a way. Obviously, he still was a bit wary yet something had changed between them. He wasn't sure whether that was just a short term thing – being dazed after the intimacy of the previous evening – or a real, significant alteration but for the time being, he tried to just let things happen. At least for the day they had off anyway.

Finally though, after Jack singing many gentle songs and even managing to get Ennis involved in some, they reached the bubbling river and sat down beside it, listening for a while to its soft trickling in the afternoon sun. Jack moved a little closer to Ennis but as they saw Cameron riding along on a horse up on a distant hill, he pulled away a bit, knowing he wouldn't see from that far away yet still not taking any risks. However, when he had disappeared back into a small scattering of trees, he rested his head on Ennis's shoulder and put a hand on his knee, stroking little circles through the denim. Ennis smiled and placed a hand over his, entwining their fingers. '' Mmm, ah like you like this, Ennis...'' Jack muttered quietly, in response to his sudden open attitude. ''...maybe ah should lead more often...'' He winked, referring to the night before. Ennis laughed gently and let them drift onto the grass together so they were lying side by side. He couldn't be bothered to pay any attention to his doubting, scared emotions about sex or life at that moment.

But, as Jack ran his hands over his chest and legs, he stopped him from going too far and instead bounced back up onto his feet, giggling. Jack looked up and then with playful eyes and laughs, they chased each other over the field, not stopping until Jack threw himself at Ennis and they collapsed into the grass again, falling on top of each other. '' Jack, why d'you have ta be so heavy?'' he winked and Jack gasped in mock hurt, sitting up at his waist.

'' Ennis! Don't be so mean!'' he smiled but Ennis just shook his head and pushed him off, getting to his feet once more. '' Where you goin', Ennis?'' Jack asked curiously.

'' Me?'' Ennis asked teasingly, beginning to unbutton his shirt. The corners of Jack's lips twitched again. '' Ah'm gettin' inta that river an' washin'. Last night wasn't exactly easy.'' He couldn't believe he was joking about it but Jack just laughed and hopped up, following him to the banks. As his companion started to undress further, he couldn't resist staring at him. He hadn't just been telling him he was beautiful the night before to make him feel better – he really _was _very, very handsome. Dusty blonde hair, brown eyes, gorgeous features all over him and when he did, a striking smile. Jack wished he would smile more often though. He was almost always extremely quiet and shy – even when he led during sex, he still held back a bit – so he was ecstatic about the personality change he had suddenly gone through that day. All it had been so far was playing, jokes and laughs. Jack hoped it would continue like that.

After a few seconds, Ennis threw the final article of clothing to the grass and glancing back at a slightly wide eyed Jack, reached out for him and dragged him, once he was fully undressed, into the river. As the water lapped at his bare skin, Ennis gasped aloud but Jack, being more used to the cold bitter winds up on the mountainside, didn't sense it as much. Instead, he giggled softly at Ennis's discomfort and then wrapped his arms around him, drawing him close. Ennis grabbed on, leeching off his body heat and slowly, he became warmer, though he still didn't bother to let Jack go. Jack laughed again at this and moved against his companion, making him gasp once more. '' Jack!'' he cried but Jack pulled away, wading back over to the shallower parts of the river to take his jacket from the banks. Ennis watched, shivering a little now his source of heat was gone, and smiled at the memories as he brought out the bar of soap that had turned up the night before.

Jack shook his head at Ennis's knowing gaze and instead, walked back over to him, encircling his arms around his damp body. For the next half hour or so, they washed in the river, hands running over each other's skin and by the time they climbed out from the water, lying out in the sun to dry themselves, they had both got considerably warmer, especially due to Jack's straying fingers and Ennis's teasing.

Still, as they lay together by the banks, Jack's head resting sweetly on Ennis's chest, they cooled down a little again and in about another half hour, they dressed, Jack playfully getting into Ennis's clothes while Ennis got into Jack's. Ennis wasn't best pleased about Jack stealing his shirt to start with but then after a few giggles and chases, he gave in and they started back up the hill to the woods, heading for the main camp. A little way through the trees though, Jack suddenly stopped and following his gaze, Ennis saw he was looking at a set of ripe blackberries, juicy in the afternoon sun. Smiling, he strayed off the path and Ennis was dragged along behind him to the bush, their hands entwined.

'' Wow, look at these, Ennis!'' Jack announced childishly, his eyes shining. '' Can we take some back to the camp? They'd be a great change from beans!''

'' You sure they're not poisonous, Jack?'' Ennis asked cautiously, not wanting either of them to be throwing up all night.

'' No, they're fine. Black berries are usually alright...at least ah think so...And they look alright, don't they?''

Ennis had to nod at that. Jack was right – they _would_ make a fantastic change from beans or soup. So, in the end, they found themselves carrying handfuls of berries from the forest back to camp, giggling and smiling at each other. Ennis really didn't know what had happened to him that day. Yet, still, he laid down with Jack back outside their tent and Jack sang to him and snuggled up as they ate, making him melt. It was really nice to spend a day just with him and no sheep or Aguirre or Russ or Cameron. Just Jack. Bubbly, grinning, playful Jack. He couldn't believe what this mountain, or this job, had done for – or to – him.

For the rest of the afternoon, they sat around the fire, talking, and sharing stories. Jack told Ennis some more about his previous summer up on Brokeback, deliberately straying from some details about Dakota as indeed, Ennis was a little uncomfortable with that, and then moved on to things he wanted to do when he was older. Ennis hadn't really got Jack down as a planning man and he realised that most of his dreams sounded far fetched and unattainable but he said nothing about them, not wanting to destroy the hopeful, content gaze in his companion's eyes. But when he asked him what he wanted to do, Ennis had no idea. At his silence, Jack nodded and then cuddled up to him, a hand on his thigh. Ennis laced their fingers together and thanked God they hadn't talked about the thing they had between them.

As the afternoon went on and evening started to dawn, Jack rose from the log he had been sitting on and looked up at the sky. Ennis glanced up too and saw that it was becoming darker, gorgeous pink shades dancing through the clouds. The sun was still there, bright and orange but it was beginning its descend down to the horizon for the night, inviting a moon to hang beyond the coloured heavens. Ennis wondered why Jack was staring at it but after a bit, his questions were answered when his companion took his arm and guided him back out of the camp, heading down towards the river again.

'' Jack, what are you doin'?'' he kept asking though there was no reply or response until they came within sight of the glistening water. Here, Jack kicked his legs out from underneath him and with a surprised cry, he fell to the damp grass, exclaiming Jack's name. Jack just giggled though and landed on top of him, pinning him down. Ennis wasn't having any of this though and rolled over him, dragging them into a high spirited, playful wrestle right to the banks of the river. Jack stopped him before they could tumble into the cold water and managed to sit up, giggling in his usual heart warming way. Ennis smiled and joined him, his cheeks flushed.

'' Okay, cowboy,'' Jack grinned, pulling him close. ''...s' enough playin' for a day.''

'' Really...?''

'' Oh, fer now anyway...'' Jack laughed and then nuzzled against Ennis's neck, his eyes closing momentarily. Ennis embraced him and looked out over the river to the vast meadows stretching out behind it, coloured orange in the setting sun. It really was beautiful that evening, the mountain almost silent except for the two cowboys and the distant bleating of sheep. All of a sudden, he understood why Jack had brought them down here and he smiled again, feeling Jack's arms encircle his waist.

And as the sun began to drift further down towards the horizon, allowing a soft, gentle darkness to cloud the sky, Ennis willingly let Jack guide him into the grass, their bodies tangling. He was unsure at first yet his companion insisted that no one could see them at this time of evening and needing no other encouragement, he lifted Jack's legs and entered him right then and there, concluding the blissful day they had had to themselves.

Standing on a nearby hilltop, Russ and Cameron frowned at the scenes they had just witnessed before them. Never in their lives did they think they would see something like that but the other two ranch hands – Jack and Ennis, they had a feeling their names were – had returned to the river after a long day off and been very friendly with each other, wrestling and playing right down to the water's edge. Russ had thought that they were fighting to begin with – and indeed, something inside him hoped they were – but then they had stopped and sat up together, visibly laughing and happy in each other's company.

He had been a little confused after that as he had never seen two men so close before yet after a short while, he understood why. The dark haired boy had cuddled up to the blonde and their arms had wrapped around another, embracing just like a man and woman would. Cameron scowled and watched as they had kissed, slowly drifting down into the grass. This was much more than he thought should happen up on a mountainside or indeed, anywhere in the world and he had briefly contemplated riding down to the cowboys and showing them there were people watching their actions. But he didn't.

Instead, when the light became too dim for them to see anymore, he rode off with Russ and went to find Aguirre, intent on informing him what had happened down by the river.

TBC


	16. The Storm and The Sheep

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 16 - The Storm and The Sheep

It was back to work the next day. Ennis set off early after breakfast, as always, riding off into the bleak day with a quick glance back at Jack while his companion stayed at the campsite to chop the wood for the fire. After the previous day, it was even more painful to get back to the sheep but each knew that was the reason they were on this mountain and didn't want to sound pathetic complaining about it so just got on with the task in hand.

Late morning rolled around and there was the sound of hooves from the camp. Jack momentarily hoped that Ennis had come back early but then there was the rough voice of his boss and his heart dropped a little. '' Twist,'' said Aguirre and Jack reluctantly looked up, stopping the wood cutting for a while. He didn't come up to the mountain that often and when he did, it was usually bad news.

'' Yeah?''

'' Your Uncle Harold's in the Hospital with pneumonia. Doctor's don't expect he'll make it...'' came the reply and Jack nodded slowly, looking down. He hadn't seen his Uncle since the first time he had come on up to Brokeback but even then, he had been a poorly man. His immune system hadn't ever been all that good.

''...your Ma sent me ta tell you so – here ah am,'' Aguirre continued, glancing higher up the mountain with a look of distaste in his eyes. He obviously couldn't care less about the news he was delivering, only doing it because he had to.

'' That's bad news,'' Jack replied after a while. ''...but there ain't nuthin' ah can do about it up here ah guess...''

Aguirre shrugged and picked up a set of binoculars from his lap, the same he had scrambled about looking for the previous night after the information from Russ and Cameron. ''...there ain't much you can do about it down there neither...unless you can cure pneumonia.''

Jack felt momentarily uncomfortable at Aguirre's suddenly very suspicious gaze and he turned to see what he was peering at through his binoculars. Ennis was riding lazily between the sheep up on the sloping ground, carrying the smallest one on his lap. His heart abruptly beating a little faster, he looked away and was greeted by an even more knowing, distasteful scowl from Aguirre. No more was said as he silently turned and rode away, leaving Jack extremely uncomfortable what reason he knew not.

****

The bleak morning slowly turned into an even darker afternoon, rainclouds gathering faster than Jack had ever seen before. They opened viciously while Ennis was still up on the mountain but when the rain became torrential, he returned swiftly to the camp, dripping wet. They did their best to stick it out, tending to the fire and contemplating returning to the sheep yet then came the thunder, roaring over the mountain tops and delivering lightning sparking across the sky like the end of the world was nigh. Jack nor Ennis had ever seen a storm like it. They could barely hear each other over the raging wind and rumbling and as they desperately tried to make the tent more secure, the gales threatened to steal their possessions, sending the food and other items rolling across the campsite. As fast as he could, Jack collected them up, piling them into his arms and Ennis yanked at the quivering shelter, yelling that the storm was getting worse. Jack couldn't agree more, especially as hail stones started tumbling from the sky, hitting the ground with dull thuds. They weren't too large but Jack didn't want to take any risks and quickly grabbed some more of their possessions before entering the tent at a run, dropping down onto the bedroll. Ennis followed soon after.

'' Jesus!'' Jack cried as the tent shivered around them, just about standing against the bitter, screaming storm.

'' Them sheep'll drift if ah don't git back up there t'night!'' Ennis shouted, holding onto the tent flaps and staring out at the rain, wind and thunder. He still had a job to do, even if the weather was as terrible as this.

'' Ain't no way yer goin' back up there t'night, Ennis! God almighty, if Aguirre cares so much about those damn sheep, he can go look after them himself! I sure ain't goin' up! An' neither are you!''

Ennis couldn't reply to that. Jack was right. They wouldn't have a chance up on the mountain. Outside, the hail started coming down even harder and he collected some in his hat, showing Jack how big they were getting. '' Ya see!'' Jack replied, proving his point and then heaved the tent flap closed, tying it quickly. Ennis helped him and when it was completely done up, they sat back a little, still feeling the wind drift through the gaps.

'' God, Jack, why's it have ta be so damn cold?'' he groaned, clutching the sheets and pulling them tight around him.

'' Ah cain't control the weather, Ennis,'' Jack replied with a smirk and then crawled under the covers next to the cowboy, bumping his head against him. ''...but you can make me warmer...'' he drawled, grinning.

Ennis smiled back and wrapped his arms around him, letting them fall back together under the sheets.

****

They woke up the next morning to a beautiful blue sky. The storm clouds had all cleared and the rain had washed everything clean so the leaves sparkled on the trees and the mountain smelt fresh. The raging wind had turned into a cool, calming breeze and when the two cowboys climbed out of the tent, it seemed as if the storm hadn't even existed. Everything was pure and beautiful again.

But, as they finished breakfast and began to ride back up the mountain to the sheep, even the loveliness of the morning could not distract them from what happened the night before. The animals had most probably got scared in the rumbling and screaming storm and drifted, getting mixed up with the other herds that didn't belong to Aguirre. Both knew they were going to be in trouble for that and it was going to be a nightmare sorting out the sheep again but, as Jack had said the night before, they couldn't control the weather. Ennis imagined this was what it would have been like for him the previous year when the lightning storm had struck and killed all those sheep. This was going to be a long morning.

Yet, when they reached the hilltop looking down onto the herds, even though they had been expected a jumble, neither were prepared for how bad it was. A few other ranch hands and Russ and Cameron were riding amongst the animals, yelling which of the sheep were theirs and trying to group them into something that wasn't the current rabble. Ennis winced as he saw and turned to Jack, who looked equally disheartened. He knew it was their job to herd the sheep but in a situation as terrible as the one last night, there was no way on earth they could have managed to do that. Aguirre was just going to have come at them and there was nothing they could do about it.

'' Well...'' Ennis finally said, staring back at the mob of animals and shouting ranch hands. ''...what're we s'posed ta do now, huh?''

Jack sighed. '' Get on in there an' untangle them sheep of ours, ah guess...''

****

Obviously, that was easier said than done. They rode down into the herds and Jack leapt off the horse, scattering the sheep when he lifted his arms. Ennis followed on the horse and the dogs ran between them, yapping and barking. Jack seemed to echo them, swearing and shouting, and grasped the sheep as they bounced past, looking for the coloured markings and cursing the storm from last night. Ennis shook his head at his anger and kept encouraging him on, saying they may need work from him the next year – if they kept complaining about everything, nothing would happen for them.

So, they kept going, Ennis leaping off the horse to help Jack now and then and swapping places to drag and haul sheep across to the right positions in the herds. It took the whole day but finally, there was some type of order amongst the animals and the ranch hands weren't yelling and shouting so much, obviously a bit calmer by now. Ennis breathed a sigh of relief and watched Jack climb up onto a horse beside him, ruffled from the long day. His cheeks were flushed and hair in a mess underneath his askew hat and there were buttons undone on his shirt, revealing tanned flesh. Ennis laughed softly at the state of him and they rode one more time through the herds, going through another last check before heading back off to the camp.

It was a beautiful evening by then, the sky pink and dark blue as the clouds drifted across above the meadows. The sheep bleated contendedly and Ennis and Jack rode alongside them on the way to camp, knees brushing. Jack was playing the harmonica that Ennis had taken a playful dislike to and as he continued to, Ennis sighed, shaking his head.

'' Ya'll run those sheep off again if ya don't quiet down...'' he teased but Jack continued playing. Ennis smiled sweetly and glanced warmly at him, his eyes soft. Jack didn't turn to see the adoration in them.

TBC


	17. Snow

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 17 - Snow

It felt very different when Ennis woke up. The air seemed significantly colder in the tent and even though his jacket and gloves were still on, he could sense even more bitter breezes than usual pawing up against his skin, making all the hairs stand on end. He hadn't been aware of any more storms in the night – certainly not as vicious as the one recently – but as he glanced casually through the thin tent flaps, he caught a glimpse of crisp whiteness over the trees surrounding the camp and an oddly grey sky through their leaves. It looked very much like snow but...it couldn't have been snowing, he thought. He would have noticed something in the night, especially as the tent was very flimsy.

Curious now, he slowly removed Jack's arms from his waist, resulting in a soft sleepy moan, and then gently got up onto his knees, pulling the tent flaps back. A gasp immediately escaped his lips.

Outside, the world was white for as far as he could see. A thick layer of snow covered the mountain side and the meadows, just as he had previously expected, and as soon as he stuck his face outside the tent, a freezing cold breeze immediately struck him. It was time to get up but in this weather, he was going to have trouble. Still, those sheep would be whining, as would Aguirre, if he didn't do it so he pulled the blanket tight around him, having to ignore Jack's groan of disapproval in his sleep, and stumbled out into the crunching snow.

It was only then, out in the whiteness of it all, that he understood and noticed how much had fallen in the night. It stretched out way beyond the campsite, over the fields and meadows, and even the trees in the far distance had a light covering of the stuff, almost looking like they were shivering in the cold air. Ennis didn't blame them. He moaned and whimpered as he clutched the blanket around him, blowing puffs of smoky breath into the sky and stuffing his hands underneath his arms. He wondered how on earth he was going to get food ready in this temperature.

However, when he forced himself over to the icy log near the burnt out fire, there was a noise from the tent behind and another gasp filled the air. '' Oh Ennis, it's snowin'!'' came Jack's delighted, almost childish, squeal and Ennis glanced round, seeing the cowboy also shivering underneath his thick jacket but with a wide eyed wondrous look on his face.

'' Really, Jack?'' he teased. '' Ah hadn't noticed!''

Jack rolled his eyes and stumbled forwards towards him, almost tripping in the snow. It wasn't all that thick, he noticed, yet it was still enough to affect his balance, especially this early in the morning. '' You seriously gonna try an' make breakfast in a situation like this, Ennis?'' he grinned, wrapping his arms around Ennis's back. Ennis nodded and reached for the beans, saying he had to else they'd go hungry for the day. '' Why don't you jus' come back ta bed? Keep me warm?''

Ennis sighed. '' Wasn't that yer ploy last time, Jack?'' he grinned. '' C'mon now – let me do warm these damn beans up an' if yer lucky, we might be able ta have them in bed...''

That made Jack smile.

***

Judging by the awed look on Jack's face as they ate the breakfast in the tent a while later, he loved the snow. Ennis could see his eyes constantly darting outside the shelter to see the little flakes fall onto the ground and even the grey sky couldn't quell his wonder. It seemed like he had become a child all over again and Ennis subconsciously found himself stroking over his soft cheek, in admiration of his sudden innocence. And it was only then that he began to fully understand how different they were. Jack was playful and outgoing and sweet, much more confident to voice his thoughts and feelings and in physically appearance was dark but with the most beautiful blue eyes. Ennis sometimes thought they best described Jack – bright and, yes, handsome yet also a little delicate too, though why he imagined that he didn't know. Jack had always seemed to be the one looking after him, not in the working hours as such but more afterwards in the tent at nights.

Ennis, on the other hand, was almost the complete opposite. He was quiet and shy and restrained, despising to voice his thoughts and feelings. His eyes were brown and didn't betray any types of emotions most of the time but he could almost feel them sparkle with one simple smile from Jack, no matter how odd that sounded to him (and almost too much of a cliché).

And that's just what Jack did to him now, turning his pretty head and beaming at him, slumping against his body. '' You're still so cold...'' he remarked gently and wrapped his arms around his waist, cuddling him close. Ennis smiled a little and patted his hair. There felt like there was something hanging over them all of a sudden and even though he had no idea what it was or why he was feeling it, he didn't like it one bit. For some reason, he just wanted to hold onto Jack all day, scared of something he couldn't understand.

But then, as a strange sensation came over the tent (and he wasn't sure if his companion felt it too) Jack glanced up at him again and there was a mischievous grin on his face, causing his blue eyes to light up cheekily. Ennis couldn't help but smile back. '' Jack...?'' he began yet Jack cut him off, leaping up and dashing out of the tent with the can of beans in hand. Ennis shook his head at his companion's once again spontaneous antics and followed him out.

'' Jack, what are you...Oof!!'' And Ennis was suddenly hit by a flying snowball, smacking him in the stomach. Jack giggled and threw another. This time Ennis ducked and gathered his own pile of snow up, aiming it at the other cowboy.

'' Ennis!'' Jack laughed as the coldness hit him. '' Ennis, c'mon, ah wasn't ready!''

'' Well, neither was I!'' Ennis smiled and began quickly collecting more snow. Jack saw what was coming and dashed behind the log, trying to get some type of shelter.

They played like this for a little while, chasing each other and throwing snowballs until, even through their gloves, their hands were sore. At this point, Jack grabbed Ennis by the jacket and threw him to the ground, making him gasp in shock at both the movement and the wet coldness on his back. '' Jack!'' he panted but Jack wouldn't let him go, instead choosing to straddle him and then roll over his shivering body, pulling them into a high spirited wrestle. Ennis couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm and found himself joining in, pushing and pulling and scooping snow up into his companion's hair. Jack writhed and squirmed and never wanted this to end. It may have been freezing yet he loved the snow – always had – and now he was with Ennis, he adored it even more.

***

The snow didn't stick for too long after that though. By the time the late morning had rolled around, almost all of it had melted away again and the leaves on the trees were shimmering clean in the blue sky. The air was still cold but as Ennis rode alongside the sheep, he didn't really care all that much. Him and Jack had had a fun morning earlier on, wrestling in the snow and throwing snowballs at each other and then returning back to the tent to get warm again. He had ended up riding up to the fields slightly later that usual due to this but Aguirre hadn't been keeping watch, as he had been after the storm, and neither had the other ranch hands. Instead, he was able to slyly slip in and pretend everything was normal, even the snow was still coming down pretty hard at this point.

It had been hard weaving in and out over the meadows in weather like that but Ennis had had experience in his younger years with his brother in Worland. They had been through tough winters before and this was nothing compared to them, though once or twice he had to grab on to the reins to stop the horse from slipping too much. He half expected to turn around and see Jack on the other side of the meadow, that cheeky grin on his pretty lips, his eyes glinting mischievously. He was never there though and despite Ennis knowing that every time he turned, it still made him feel oddly discomforted.

It seemed as if, soon, something would happen. He didn't know what that something was – and he wasn't sure if he did want to know – but there was a type of sensation, almost in the air, that there was an event just around the corner, good or bad he wasn't sure. He wondered if Jack felt it too but he'd never ask him. Probably would think he'd lost it after being up on this mountain for so long. Or what seemed like so long. As he thought about it, he realised it was only a few weeks. Years felt like they had passed by since he arrived there. He knew why that was. And he appreciated that. Suddenly, he wanted to experience every moment yet when he glanced back out over the sheep, he got a sense of coming back down to earth and realising what was going on. The abrupt dreamy sensation left him just as quick as it had arrived and he knew he was just a sheep herder. That was what he had had come up to Brokeback for. Though he had found something much more.

***

It felt like a new day as the snow melted away, the sun creeping out from behind the grey clouds. Jack had stayed back at the camp when Ennis had rode up to the sheep and was busy chopping up more firewood when he had glanced up and saw hints of blue creeping through the bleakness of the heavens. As much as he adored the snow, he was still quite happy to see it slowly drift away because after a while cutting wood in those conditions, his hands were really quite sore both from the cold and the heavy axe.

Gradually the snow turned to ice and then the sun waltzed out and thawed all that too, guiding it down into the rivers running through the hills. When Ennis had returned back for some food in the afternoon, he had almost slipped on some stray remnants but Jack had grasped him, giggling softly. They shared a quick meal yet once finished, Ennis went off again, leaving Jack with a strange sensation in his stomach.

He had been feeling this for quite a few days now but more recently, it had been getting stronger. He didn't know what it was yet unknown to him, he was having the same thoughts as Ennis about something happening quite soon. Similar to the other cowboy, he didn't know what it was and wasn't sure he wanted to. He often got himself into sticky situations from taking things too far.

However, a visit from Aguirre later that afternoon soon gave him some hints.

TBC


	18. Letting Go

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 18 – Letting Go

When Jack returned from the sheep that night, his eyes no longer had the bright sparkle that they usually had. His pretty lips were turned down in almost a mournful expression and as he slipped off the horse, Ennis could see more of himself in his walk, slouched over and hat pulled low. It looked like the whole world was resting on his shoulders but when Ennis attempted asking him what was wrong, he didn't reply, just laid down by the fire and rested his head against the log, staring blankly into the orange flames.

'' Jack?'' Ennis tried again yet to no avail. The cowboy seemed suddenly cut off from the world, lost in thoughts. Ennis didn't know what they were – he could never tell what Jack was thinking – but he could tell they weren't pleasant. And when he tried to hand him the beans for supper, he pushed them away.

'' Jack, ya have ta eat,'' Ennis said softly though Jack just shook his head, drawing back.

'' Ah'm not hungry...'' he choked out despite not having eaten all day. Ennis tried to hand the can of beans over again but Jack was insistent, saying no. '' Ah don't want anythin'...''

'' Jack...''

'' Ah'm fine, Ennis,'' Jack pressed before Ennis could even say it. '' Please, ah'm jus' not hungry...''

And with that, he stood up and looked up at the sky, which had only just begun to turn dark. Ennis glanced up too and was surprised to hear him announce he was going to the tent for the night. '' Jack, it's still...'' But the pained expression on his companion's face made him pause. His heart ached and he nodded. '' Okay... Ah'll see you...''

Jack nodded back and then stumbled past the fire to Ennis. His breath was taken away as he was swept up in the warmest and biggest embrace Jack had ever given him. The cowboy buried his face into his hair and clutched his jacket and when it was time for him to go, he looked reluctant to. Ennis didn't know what to say or do when he turned and hurried to the tent without another word.

***

When Ennis returned to the tent later on that night, Jack was lying on his front, his face buried in the pillow. He tried to be quiet so as not to wake him but when he crawled under the covers next to him, he immediately rolled over and entwined his arms around his body, holding him tight. Ennis embraced him back and kissed his hair, feeling him trembling. He didn't know what was wrong yet Jack was grasping him like he was the last thing in the world and he didn't want to let him go no matter what happened.

'' Jack...'' he muttered softly and felt the first tear seep from Jack's beautiful blue eyes.

'' Ah'm sorry...'' he whispered. Though Ennis didn't know why.

***

Jack was up very early the next morning, prodding the fire just after the sun had risen. A blanket was wrapped tightly around him protectively even though it wasn't all that cold and when Ennis glanced out, he was ravenously eating the beans from the previous night like a man starved. Any other time, Ennis would have been amused but Jack still looked down so he didn't make a noise, instead slowly moving out of the tent and walking over to him, reaching out to slide an arm around him. Jack jumped at the sensation.

'' Ssh...'' Ennis found himself whispering. Jack trembled under his touch. '' Why are you out so early...?''

Jack shook his head, rubbing his sore eyes. '' Ah couldn't sleep,'' he muttered but didn't offer an explanation why. Ennis nodded and perched down next to him, bringing him close. A small sob escaped him.

'' Jack, what's wrong?'' he asked softly. He couldn't remember ever being this gentle to anybody.

'' It's nothin'...'' he replied shortly and then placed the can of beans back onto the ground. '' Jus'...nothin'...''

'' Why don't you come back ta the tent? You're shiverin' out here...''

Jack slowly nodded and followed Ennis back to the tent, which had, after about a month of being up on this mountain, almost become like a home for him. Something told him it wasn't just because he had spent so much time in it though. Any occasion he spent by Ennis's side was beginning to feel more and more like home. It was no use trying to deny things to himself anymore, no matter how much they hurt him.

They entwined together in the tent that morning, arms and legs tangled. Somewhere along the line, Ennis found his clothes being pulled off and suddenly, Jack was on top of him, straddling his hips so he couldn't move. He looked like he was about to cry as he entered him almost aggressively and Ennis gasped in surprise, his mouth opening in a silent scream. It didn't last long but it hurt and every time he tried to move, Jack held his arms down, refusing to budge. _'' Jack...''_ he attempted to mutter but Jack's head was buried in his hair as he defiantly tried to keep tears from falling.

***

Ennis was unsettled by Jack all throughout the morning when he was back up with the sheep. He'd been uncharacteristically aggressive in the tent earlier but although it had been rough, Ennis knew it wasn't because of anger. He'd felt him trembling against him and when it was over, he hadn't said anything. Instead, he had just sat there, knees drawn up to his chest and a hand in his damp hair with his eyes tight shut. Ennis had tried to talk to him but it was no use. He wasn't going to reveal anything.

Ennis had left the camp earlier than usual after that. He had slipped onto the horse with a word of goodbye yet looked back at the tent to see Jack until he was completely out of sight. A strange feeling was stirring in his stomach and as he rode up to the pastures, it grew stronger and stronger up to the point where the world was becoming hazy and blurry around him. Fiercely rubbing his eyes and staring out blankly to the sheep, he tried to think of anything that wasn't Jack but it was no use. He attempted not to be bothered by the cowboy's mournful attitude yet he just couldn't. Something kept dragging him back to him, no matter how many worries he had in his mind. Every effort to let him go was immediately dismissed in vain.

And that's why, when a blue sky began to finally creep out from behind the grey clouds, he turned his back on the sheep and began to ride back to camp, his heart heavy.

***

When he reached the campsite, he saw that Jack was standing by the tent and slowly and sadly taking it down. His heart sank further, almost with every miserable move of the shelter's canvas, and he immediately dismounted his horse, walking over to him and wondering why he was taking the shelter down.

'' What're you doin'?'' he asked and Jack briefly turned around, his blue eyes still without sparkle.

'' Aguirre came by again...'' he answered after a while, again tending to the canvas. There was no denying the lack of his usual bounce in his voice. '' Said mah Uncle didn't die after all...Says to bring 'em down...''

Ennis paused and tried to will his heart to stop beating so fast. Jack's back was turned from him but the stumbles in his movement showed his hurt. He understood now. That was why he had been acting this way – the aggressive advances in the tent, the uncharacteristic silences, the – crying? _No, it couldn't be like this._ '' Bring 'em down?'' he asked, something inside of him hoping he'd heard wrong. '' It's the middle a' August...''

'' Says there's a storm comin'...'' Jack continued and he still didn't turn. Ennis's stomach was slowly beginning to turn. '' ...movin' in from Pacific – worse 'an this one...'' He must have meant the storm a couple of days back and the heavy snow.

''...but that snow barely stuck an hour...'' Ennis frowned then shook his head, finally moving. His legs were shaking beneath him. '' Besides that son of a bitch is cuttin' us out of a whole month's pay...It – it ain't right...'' _That was the last thing on his mind._ But he had to keep talking, find something else to worry about, couldn't think about this...

Jack shrugged and at last, turned to him. Their eyes met momentarily but Ennis immediately glanced away, staring into some spot in the nearby trees. His throat felt so dry. '' Well...'' Jack started. '' Ah can – ah can spare you a loan if you're short on cash...Give it to ya when we get...when we get to Signal...''

Something inside of Ennis snapped then. Signal was the first place he'd met Jack. They were going back there. But it wasn't even the end of summer. Scowling, he stared at Jack and felt his stomach twist even further. '' Ah don't need your money,'' he said, hostility in his voice once again. '' Ah ain't in the poor house...''

And he turned, kicking the ground and walking away, emotions swelling around him and moulding into a confusing spiral. Jack peered after him and gulped, his heart in his mouth. Sadness streaked his blue eyes. '' Alright...'' he choked out and then looked down again, his hands shaking too much to pack up the tent.

From behind him, Ennis violently sat down on a piece of wood and stared up into the sky, picking up a small log and bashing it against the ground before throwing it into the distance. He felt his heart go along with it.

***

Jack just couldn't let him go like that.

After his outburst about the money, Ennis had stormed off up the hill and sank down into the grass, his knees drawn up to his chest. Jack hadn't been able to do anything to stop him but once the tent was packed up and the horses were ready, he turned to where he was still sitting and sighed, his heart aching. He looked so vulnerable up there, a tiny figure against the huge, dominating mountain. The grass danced around him but he was barely moving at all, just staring into space with a frown on his face. Jack was beginning to feel very numb inside but as he saw him, his stomach felt as though it was coiling. He couldn't believe it was going to be this way. Ennis was going to slip through his fingers so easily. He couldn't stand it if their last day together was spent in silence. _Their last day._ _Goodbye again._

Trying to block out his thoughts, Jack squeezed his eyes shut and leant against the horse for a minute or two, attempting to catch his breath. His legs were trembling and almost buckling underneath him and every time he went to move, they started to give way. The world was becoming very hazy around him and he didn't like it one bit, though he wished that he could leave real life for just one minute, spend the rest of the summer up here. _With Ennis._

Moaning aloud, Jack slowly pulled away from the horse and glanced back up the hill, seeing the cowboy still sitting in the same position, his hat pulled low over his eyes. Jack's insides immediately gave a sharp tug and he found his hats groping for the rope on the horse's back, blue eyes glossing over. He had to make him smile. Just one last time.

It seemed like he walked for hours to get to the top of that hill but it reality, it must have only a matter of minutes. Getting up there felt as though he was climbing over all the obstacles in his life yet still, once he'd reached the peak, he saw more troubles lying ahead for him. There was no rest quite yet. He knew that all too well.

Running a shaking hand through his hair, he took the rope and made it into a loose lasso, throwing it gently over Ennis. He didn't move, not even look up, so he gave it a little tug. '' Time ta git goin', cowboy...'' he said softly to him though it didn't even feel like he was speaking anymore.

Ennis responded though and pulled the rope back over his head, standing up. Habitually, he tucked his shirt back into his jeans and began to walk away, facing away from Jack. Jack watched him, feeling as if there was a sudden huge chasm separating them, and then lazily threw the rope again, getting it caught around Ennis's ankles. Taking him by surprise, he playfully pulled on it and sent him tumbling to the grass. He couldn't help a little smile appearing on his lips.

Immediately, Ennis turned to him, a wild look in his eyes and though Jack couldn't read it, he continued to pull on the rope, making the cowboy writhe. '' Rodeo cowboy!'' Ennis exclaimed gruffly and then yanked on the cord, drawing Jack onto the ground. They began to roll over each other in the slightly damp grass in what started as a light-hearted wrestle but then, all too soon, turned dramatically into a fight for dominance, Ennis grasping and tugging at Jack's shirt with a furious gaze. Jack kicked out, hitting him back and before long they were brawling violently, struggling and thrashing under the other in a mass of arms and legs. Jack didn't understand what was going on but he could feel his skin being scratched and bruised through his shirt and his natural reaction was to hit back. Ennis held him down and he tried to resist but too strongly. Without knowing what had just happened, Ennis suddenly pulled away with his eyes narrowed. Jack saw a gush of red coming from his nose. He immediately paused and could only watch as the cowboy stumbled up, desperately trying to stem the flow with his shirt.

He hadn't meant to hurt him.

His eyes wide with regret, he abruptly stood up again and hurried to Ennis, reaching out for him with a much more delicate approach. Ennis immediately grasped him and pressed his face against his raised arm, letting the blood seep onto his shirt. '' _Come here, come here...'' _Jack found himself muttering. '' _It's alright...''_

He held his head as gently as he could but Ennis was still struggling, almost trying to pull away. He attempted to pull him closer, comfort him some more, but as soon as his hands slipped down onto his cheeks, cupping his damp face, he lashed out.

The next thing Jack knew he was lying back on the ground, his head in his hands as Ennis snatched up his hat from the grass and stumbled off back down the hill, blood still smeared underneath his nose. Moaning in pain, Jack couldn't help but watch him go before everything suddenly overcame him – every emotion, memory, thought and worry. And he couldn't do anything more than cry and cry until there weren't any tears left.

TBC


	19. Counting Sheep

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 19 - Counting Sheep

Jack couldn't sleep. The world was spinning around him, the stars twisting in surreal patterns in the dark sky and the cold pick up truck beneath him seemed to be slipping away. He had been tossing and turning for what seemed like forever, trying to ignore the vortex of emotions eating away at his mind but in the end, nobody could block out the sound of a beating heart.

This was to be his last night with Ennis. The last night up on Brokeback, amongst the high, snow topped mountains and constantly bleating sheep. He had been trying not to be bothered by it for hours but with each minute that slipped by, his stomach churned even more, making him all too aware of his growing despair. He hated to call it despair – attempted telling himself that Ennis was only a ranch hand whom, after the summer had ended, he wouldn't have seen ever again anyway – yet something just kept dragging him back to the same feeling every time he tried to run from it. It was surrounding him, suffocating him, tearing at his insides and he was terrified of it. Though no words could really describe what it was. Jack didn't even know himself. He wasn't sure if he wanted to either.

All he knew was that this shouldn't be happening. It was only the middle of August, a bitter evening even though in reality, the breezes were quite warm, and there was still at least around a month until the working days ended up on the mountain. That was how it had been the year before anyway. _The year before. _

_No. No. He mustn't think of that. That would only make things worse._

The sheep still needed to be tended to and even though there were more ranch hands up there, Jack yearned for it to be him and Ennis instead, swapping positions with two of them, maybe Russ and Cameron. He hated those damn animals but for the first time, he greatly desired to be back there again on those wide stretching fields sprinkled with dew in the morning and glowing in the evening. He'd even brave the storms – including that one Aguirre said was coming in from the Pacific soon – and stand through the raging snow if it meant he could just spend one more month with Ennis. He even wished for the old, battered tent which threatened to fall every night. But that was no longer the main thing on his mind about that tent.

_Ennis. Ennis Del Mar. _Jack whispered that name to himself what seemed like a thousand times that night, loud enough for his heart to hear but not loud enough for Ennis to. He didn't want to wake him from his sleep which in spite of things, was excessively peaceful. Jack wondered if he was at all bothered with what was about to happen. Of course he had been affectionate towards him throughout the summer – if affectionate was the right word to use – but...he had a fiancée at home who he was just about to marry. She didn't have a clue what her man had got up to up on Brokeback and Jack knew that when Ennis returned to her, he'd do so with a heavy heart. Because he was the type of guy who seemed to think everything through, worry about subjects he should not be worrying about. But this was certainly something to worry about.

Or maybe not. Ennis himself had said that what they had going on was a one shot thing and...maybe he was right. Maybe it had just been for this summer. Two lonely men up on a mountain in the middle of nowhere for couple of months. Things were bound to happen given the right circumstances. That's what had happened the year before when Jack first came up.

_Don't think about that._

There was the voice in Jack's head again. He tried to listen to it and forget about what had occurred the previous summer with Dakota but deep inside, he felt like it was happening all over again. They had got together, thought it was something special (or Jack had anyway) yet in the end, had parted ways and never seen each other since. Jack could barely remember what he looked like anymore. And it seemed like that was reoccurring with Ennis. Maybe it had just been a one shot thing. Maybe they'd never get together again.

This notion made Jack's stomach twist over even more. Not ever seeing Ennis again. Could he stand that? Most of him tried to insist that he could – he was a strong man, would find himself a pretty girl and forget old Brokeback Mountain – but another part, one part very close to his thickly beating heart, said something else, something very different. It had felt so unlike anything up on the mountain with Ennis though Jack didn't really know how to describe it in words. Not like Dakota.

Even though that was what he had thought about him.

Maybe his destiny was bound to be without Ennis then.

He desperately attempted to tell himself that this didn't matter. Ennis was just some ranch hand he'd worked with up on a mountain and they'd just happened to share a few tumbles with as lonely guys. He tried to think it didn't mean a thing but the more he did, the more it hurt, which was definitely not what he was intending. How could something like that have not meant anything? He remembered their second night together in the tent, the time when he had first been on top, the day off and all of a sudden, there were tears in his eyes. This summer hadn't meant to be like this.

For a short while, he wished he had never come up. He should have just gone up to his Father's ranch, even though he was damn hard to please. But then he wouldn't have met Ennis, wouldn't have had his life turned upside down. Because, in reality, that was what had happened, no matter how many times he tried to deny it. Ennis, a shy and quiet blonde cowboy from Wyoming, had stepped into his world and now, it could never be the same again. He had thought it was dramatic to be getting together with Dakota the year before – the first time they had collapsed to the bedroll, mouths pressed to each other – but that was nothing compared to this summer. How could a reserved ranch hand like Ennis Del Mar have changed him so much?

Jack didn't know.

In his mind, nineteen was much too young to be wrapped up in things like these and he still had his whole life in front of him. He would find a pretty girl, like he had thought earlier, and settle down with her, start a family if he wanted. Or he could go back to rodeo. He didn't think he could ever work on a mountain with sheep again. Too many memories.

At this point, Jack sharply shook his head and fiercely rubbed his eyes, noticing how hot they were getting. He was being so pathetic, acting like this. It was only Ennis, he tried to tell himself. Just Ennis. It wasn't like walking away from him would kill him. Yes, he hadn't been expecting to leave this early – a month before the end of summer – but it was no big deal. No big deal. The worst thing was not getting the highest pay. That was the worst thing. _That_ was the worst thing. Nothing else.

Wasn't it?

Quietly, Jack moaned and leant over the edge of the pick up truck, trying to breathe as much air into his lungs as possible. Even though they were out in the open, he suddenly felt very claustrophobic, like he was being surrounded entirely by something. He wondered how on earth Ennis could sleep and for a while, he was envious of him, wishing that he could just close his eyes and drift off into dreams. It would sure beat sitting here all night and just thinking. Thinking about things he should surely forget. It would certainly make situations easier.

But he just couldn't. Just couldn't let go, even though he knew he had to.

It was time to say goodbye and there was no going back. Nothing else he could do.

Maybe leaving would be a good thing. Neither he nor Ennis had to worry about being caught together anymore and they wouldn't have any more of those damn beans or soup and....But Jack couldn't think of anything else. And he thought those previous reasons were pathetic. There was nothing good about leaving. He'd even risk more beans just to stay until the end of summer.

Trembling now, he sighed and gulped down a large lump in his throat. From beside him, Ennis stirred a little and rolled over onto his side, moaning in his sleep. Jack tried to smile but it soon turned into a grimace of pain as tears filled his eyes and blurred his vision, trying to keep them from falling. _Ennis. Ennis Del Mar. Will ah ever see you again? Or are you jus' gonna be another Dakota. He left me and never came back. Ah don't know what ta think, Ennis Del Mar._

'' Ennis...'' he whispered again and reached out to stroke his curly hair, making him groan once more in his dreams. '' Ennis, boy, ah'm gonna miss you...''

But those words didn't even begin to sum up what he was feeling. Though he didn't know what that was. And that scared him immensely. He had never experienced this before.

He knew he wasn't going to get a minute of sleep that night.

It was time for the night to hear some more of his thoughts, even if his heart was getting heavy with the weight of them all...

***

The final count of the sheep.

As Ennis and Jack lazily led them up the mountainside, knowing that Aguirre and the other ranch hands would be waiting for them, they both felt numb inside. Ennis had heard Jack crying the night before, his face buried in the thin blankets they had there with them, but he hadn't had the heart to comfort him. He didn't know what he felt about him anymore. He had made him like this, changed his life and views, and he had only come up to this mountain for money. For him and Alma. Yes, Alma. The pretty girl at home who was waiting for her fiancé to come back so they could marry in November. That's all that mattered now. Never mind damn Jack Twist. He had hit him and left his mark on him but that was the only physical trace that they had been together.

It didn't matter about the memories or inward thoughts. Ennis was going to try and forget about him. It was just him and Alma now. Just him and Alma.

He repeated this phrase what seemed like a million times as he led the sheep up to Aguirre that morning, Jack constantly by his side. He attempted averting his eyes from him, strangely not wanting to see the little bruise on his cheek from where his fist had connected the day before, but every now and then, their gazes would cross and that deep blue would try and penetrate his heart. Yet Ennis would never respond and Lord knows how much that hurt Jack, though his mind would never admit it.

It was late morning when they finally reached the trailers, guiding the sheep into the fenced areas, ready for the count. After silently sliding off their horses without even a glance at each other, Aguirre trudged over to them and looked out over the animals with distaste in his eyes. This wasn't anything new however. Jack and Ennis had got used to it over the short summer so didn't reply.

'' Some a these never went up with ya,'' Aguirre remarked gruffly with irritation in his voice. '' ...count ain't what ah hoped for neither...'' And then, with a knowing and unsettling look in his eyes, '' You ranch stiffs – you're never no good...''

Jack nor Ennis turned as he walked away again, yelling something at one of the other workers. The air now felt colder around them now though, and not all because of the weather, and with a sinking of his heart, Jack knew it was almost time to go.

TBC


	20. Time To Say Goodbye

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 20 - Time To Say Goodbye

Jack tried to remain nonchalant as he sat back up in his truck, his foot pressed down on the pedal as he half heartedly attempted to start it. It had been sat rusting up here for all the time he had been up on Brokeback and now, after not having been used, it was once again rebelling against him, refusing to do as he said. Sometimes what he said he didn't mean though. His voice spoke for the car to start but deep inside, he wished over and over that it wouldn't. In reality, he knew that whether it did or didn't wouldn't have made any difference yet he was hanging on to anything at that moment, clutching at straws. Maybe if he hoped hard enough that the truck refusing to work would mean more time with Ennis it would happen.

Imagination and fantasies were all he had left now. And even they were failing on him, just like his old, beaten up car. Fading to dust in the surreal sun suspended lazily in the otherwise grey sky and mingling with the dirt on the ground. It was no use trying to pretend yet he couldn't help it. The only thing keeping him from breaking.

He attempted desperately not to think about what was happening, instead just focused on ramming his foot onto the pedal, causing the truck to cough and splutter. Ennis had the bonnet open, leant inside, so he couldn't see his face yet this was probably a good thing. He'd barely been able to glance at him on the journey up here. He hated to admit what he was really feeling but he knew it was true.

This was it. Time to say goodbye. No more summer days with Ennis. He'd probably never see him again. What reason would he have for it? What had happened on Brokeback was most possibly a one shot thing, just as his companion had kept saying. But it couldn't have been, his mind kept shouting, not with the....

Jack quickly shook his head, realising he was getting too lost in his thoughts again, and pushed his foot down harder, seeming to become more violent with his shoving as his heart beat faster. It was the only way he could vent his feelings again, couldn't stand for Ennis to see him like this – what he really was experiencing deep down inside – and it was the only thing keeping him from going crazy.

He could barely hear the truck revving anymore though. His head was spinning, stomach lurching and the whole world seemed to be caving in around him. This couldn't be happening, he kept telling himself. Any minute now he'd just wake up but each time he tried to pinch himself, urgently wanting – needing – to wake himself from this insane dream, nothing happened. There was still the dark sky, the almost too bright sun and...Ennis. Still here. Though not for long.

Jack moaned, tried to cover it up with frustration about his truck, and heard the cowboy shout something at him – something about the car. He hardly registered it, didn't even know what he was doing for a few moments, but then, the revving got louder and the vehicle started. Ennis slammed the bonnet shut and for a couple of seconds – though they felt more like hours to him, Jack just sat there, his breathing heavy. The car had started and he didn't think he had ever felt more disappointed with it. Though it wasn't as if anything different would have altered anything.

At the harsh reality, he gulped down a frightening lump in his throat and saw Ennis lean against the side of the truck, still looking down and rifling through his small canvas bag. Jack couldn't read any of his emotions that day – not that he would have displayed anything anyhow. Everything just seemed so numb. Probably because that was how he felt at that moment. Trapped between different feelings and reeling from all the situations occurring around him. Things were going too fast. Always had.

'' Cain't believe ah left mah damn shirt up there...'' Ennis said suddenly and Jack forced himself to get out of the truck, finally bringing up the strength to glance up. His heart moaned and ached but he tried to ignore it. Following it always made him end up in things that finished badly.

Like this.

Gently, he sighed, doing his utmost best to hide everything inside, and shrugged. Ennis remained looking down, his hands still fumbling through the bag as if they needed something to do. Jack leant against the truck, glad for the support. His legs were beginning to feel very unstable. To distract himself, he tried the only question that might have given him some hope. Deep down, he knew he was scared to ask it, terrified that he might get an answer that he didn't want but he had to. Hope was the one thing he needed at that moment.

'' You gonna do this again next summer?'' His voice sounded surprisingly feeble.

Ennis didn't take any time to respond. He finally looked up, his features creased against the harsh sunlight, and his and Jack's eyes met at last. Jack tried to glance away but he couldn't. These were his last few moments with Ennis. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he wanted them to last forever.

'' Well, maybe not...'' Ennis replied, his words as inexpressive as ever. '' Like ah said, me an' Alma's gettin' married in November...So, er...'' He looked down again, suddenly portraying nothing but everything at the same time. Jack desperately attempted to tear his eyes away. '' Ah'll try an' get somethin' on a ranch, ah guess....About you?''

Jack finally managed to glance down. He urgently tried to slow his breathing, calm his heart, stop his stomach twisting. Cold shivers ran all over his body as he forced himself to reply, no matter how much he didn't believe in the words he was speaking. '' Ah might go up ta mah Daddy's place, give him a hand...'' He shrugged and wanted so much to change time. Stop the snow from falling, allow them just until the end of summer... He never wanted to move from this spot. Brokeback Mountain. Wanted to stay here forever. '' Ah might be back,'' he tried. ''...if the army don't get me.''

He hadn't really been thinking about that. With everything else going on, it had barely crossed his mind. Just had to keep talking and ignoring the turmoil wreaking havoc inside himself.

But then there was silence, broken by nothing, not even birdsong. Ennis looked down and so did Jack for a second or two, though the world seemed to have stopped turning around them. There was no more time and no more days left...They both willed the other to say something, though Jack was terrified of what they might say, but what could they have said? After all that had happened, there was so much yet at the same time, so little. Anything could be spoken though nothing must...

Finally though, a few words. The few words that changed everything. At last brought all that had occurred to a point. '' Ah'll guess ah'll see you around then...'' Ennis muttered.

Jack could only nod. What else could he have done? '' Okay...'' he replied, looking down again momentarily, trying to focus on something other than Ennis. He ended up subconsciously glancing up again. His heart obviously was telling him different things to his brain. He had found that out at least a month ago.

And that whole month just seemed to drift away as Ennis did, turning his back and slinging his bag over his shoulder. Jack closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to block everything out, and opened the truck door, willing himself not to concentrate on anything else. That was it. The end of summer. Summer cut short anyway. It was happening and there was nothing else he could do. His last hope dashed.

Time to set off and go home. Wherever home was.

He didn't look at Ennis as he drove past him. Couldn't bare to. He wondered if he was looking back though. Probably not. This summer hadn't meant a thing to him. Just a one shot...Probably. Jack couldn't help thinking of the worst, though he wished they weren't true. He would just have to forget about him. Ennis Del Mar. This shouldn't have been as hard as it was.

He was just a ranch hand.

And he would never see him again.

That was the cold, hard truth.

This shouldn't have been so damn hard.

Just one last look back in the mirror.

And that was it.

***

Ennis tried so hard to just walk away. Walk away and forget all about whatever had happened up on Brokeback. Jack Twist was gone and there was no use crying over spilt blood. Except he wasn't going to cry.

He wasn't going to cry.

But as he got further down the road, Jack Twist's truck slowly fading into the distance, his legs began to give way. Something suddenly lurched in his stomach and the world immediately became hazy. He tried to fight it, as he had done with so many other things in his life, but this time, it was no use.

His knees beginning to buckle, he attempted to make his way calmly over into an alley yet as the seconds went on, he collapsed, trying to grasp the wall for support. He lost his balance, reduced to a heap and his stomach twisted again, making him retch involuntarily. He thought he was going to vomit but nothing came up. It hurt so much, inside and out and he could barely stand it.

So much did he ache, memories and thoughts overflowing in his mind that tears started to gather in his eyes. He fought them viciously, slamming his fist again and again into the wall, and he gagged again and again though still, nothing came up.

He didn't know why this was happening.

How it had happened.

But this was it.

No going back now.

TBC


	21. Alma

**The Power of Love**

Chapter 21 - Alma

The clock on the wall said 10.45am. Quarter of an hour until the ceremony and Alma Beers sat in the vestry of a small little chapel in the middle of nowhere, brushing her mousy hair and smiling to herself in the dusty mirror placed in the corner of the room. She had been waiting almost two years for this day and now, finally, it was happening. In a matter of minutes, she would be a married woman, no longer a girl, and her and Ennis would have that special bond that everyone said was so wonderful.

She had often wondered if that was the problem with them. Ennis had always seemed a little shy ever since they had met and although that was something she loved about him, he had become even more reserved after he came off that mountain. Alma had been surprised when he had returned home early but apparently, he said there was some storm coming in from the Pacific and their boss had sent them down before it raged. She'd heard about the other storm that had blown viciously over the mountain on the radio and she'd hoped Ennis hadn't been hurt in it yet when he arrived, he seemed not physically hurt at all. Alma wished she could say the same for what was going on in his mind. Whatever that was.

Ennis was a very introverted person, she knew that well by now yet sometimes she would have very much liked for him to open up to her a bit more. She didn't bother prying about events that may or may not have happened up on Brokeback Mountain, as not only would Ennis not talk about it, she was only going on the emotions he had barely shown and she knew she probably rely on those as much as she could rely on her Mother. And, of course, that wasn't very much at all.

She hadn't bothered coming to the wedding. If it wasn't for Ennis, Alma wouldn't have even invited her in the first place. However, that was no use anyway. Her Father had arrived, though he was long since divorced from her Mother, and as always, he said he had had no contact with her whatsoever. Alma thought that was probably for the best. After their last argument (and it had been much worse than usual – her Mother was the only person, except her sister Louanne, that she could argue with), she had no idea what she would say if she had come to the wedding. Not that she could talk anyway. Her divorce had been pretty messy, to say the least.

Alma was glad Louanne had come though. She was four years older than her and when they were children, Louanne had always looked after her when their Mother was fighting with their Father again or there were other troubles with the family, as there always seemed to be. She had been the first to arrive at the chapel that day and couldn't wait to see Alma in her wedding dress, as she now was.

To be honest, she felt a little strange in it. As she looked in the mirror, she knew it looked alright but still, she was used to wearing clothes that were a lot more comfortable than this – homely dresses, not big, white and frilly ones like this. Yet at least that made it special. One of the only occasions in her life that she got dressed up like a princess, with flowers and a gown, and it was going to be the most memorable day of her life – so far anyway. She hoped Ennis liked it.

He had been the first boy she had been interested in. One of her friends had known somebody who'd known somebody who'd known Ennis and they had set up a meeting for them, no matter how many times Alma said she'd didn't want a boyfriend at that point in her life. Her friend and her fiancé had gone to some restaurant with them and despite both Alma and Ennis being very shy around one another, something must have happened because they ended up going to the same restaurant again the week after, and again and again.

And now, they were getting married. Of course, that friend and her fiancé (who was now her husband) had been invited to the wedding that day and Alma would thank them at the dinner later on for everything they had done. She doubted she'd been in this wedding dress if it wasn't for them.

Ennis was still very shy though and she knew he was going to hate talk to all those people at the party afterwards but at least, she hoped, he wouldn't be quite as closed around her anymore. Maybe their marriage would open up new doors for them and they'd have some more conversations together. Alma thought that was very important for them.

Suddenly, the door to the vestry opened and Alma turned to see Louanne bustle in, holding more flowers in her hand. '' My, my, my, don't ya'll look beautiful?'' came her cheerful voice and Alma smiled, taking the bunch of flowers that she offered. '' Ain't that Ennis one lucky man?''

'' Ya think he'll like it?'' Alma asked, smoothing down her dress and putting the hairbrush down. Louanne smiled wider.

'' Like it? Honey, he's gonna love it! Now, come an' give us a twirl.''

Alma giggled and stood up, spinning around for her sister. She clapped and then embraced her, gently so as not to mess up her gown. '' Well, mah lil' sister's finally growin' up,'' she beamed, stroking her hair. '' Marryin' before me – ah never thought ah'd see the day.''

Alma smiled again and stepped back, taking another glance at the wall clock. '' Ah s'pose we better get to the chapel then...Five minutes...''

'' You bet.''

***

Alma couldn't help smiling as she stood at the front of the congregation, a cheery priest in front of her and Ennis beside her. He seemed a bit awkward there, both of them repeating the words said to them, but Alma didn't mind. She felt like she was on cloud nine, finally here after all this time, and her true love was standing by her side. That was all she cared about and she knew that now, through this marriage, there would be no boundaries between them and no taints in their relationship. They were each other's and each other's only and nothing would stop that.

In front of them, the priest gave another bright smile and looked them both in the eye, seeming genuinely happy for them. Alma's heart skipped as he finally said those words that she had been waiting so long for – the words that she had been dreaming about ever since Ennis proposed to her. The words that made it all seem so real and official. ''...I now pronounce you man and wife...''

Alma smiled and looked up at Ennis, so happy she could barely hear what the priest was continuing to say. '' ...you may kiss the bride...''

And Ennis finally turned to her, leaning down to tip her head slightly.

'' And if you don't, I will,'' the priest laughed and Alma smiled, though all her attention was now on Ennis as he leant down to her and with the hint of a smile on his face, kissed her warmly. The crowds behind them clapped and at that moment, it finally all felt it had come to a point where there was no turning back.

Alma didn't think she wanted to.

***

The marriage was even better than Alma had dreamt. Ennis seemed to be more open with her now and they laughed together and held hands, barely a minute going by when they weren't by each other's sides. When the snow came in December, they went for sleigh rides over the hills and played childishly and happily, throwing snowballs at one another and rolling around without a care in the world. Christmas was wonderful and they spent it with their friends and Louanne, sitting around a decorated tree in a small, rented apartment in a town north of Lost Cabin where Ennis happened to be working at that time as a wrangler. The relationship developed considerably and by mid-January, Alma was pregnant with their first child.

She had known for a fair while that she was soon going to be a Mother but the first time she felt the baby kick she had been just as excited as when she had found out the news that changed most women's lives. Ennis and her had been at an outdoor movie theatre one night when the weather was still cold, frost making the asphalt and trucks glitter slightly in the moonlight, and all of a sudden, she had sensed the movement in her stomach, making it bump slightly. Her heart gave a skip in time with it and she put her hands on the growing lump, Ennis joining her.

And it was at that moment that everything seemed to be moving forward with them and just like at the marriage a few months back, there was no going back. And again, Alma realised that she didn't want to go back. This was where her life was changing and in nine or ten months, she would be giving birth, becoming a Mother. It all seemed a bit overwhelming but Alma knew it was a good sense of overwhelming. If Ennis was beside her, she knew she'd get through it a lot easier.

This baby would maybe bring them even closer together. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man. Her man.

TBC


End file.

Brokeback Mountain, Friendship, Romance