Days of Our Lives A Raging Inferno

_Just breathe…in and out, in and out._

Sonny could feel his blood turn hot and begin to stir, could actually hear the gurgle of a slow simmer as it ascended quickly into the roar of a full-on boil. Damn, he was mad.

Will, his Will, had just announced―right in front of the whole congregation, just before Gabi and Nick's I dos were complete―that he was the father of Gabi's unborn child.

_What the hell?!_

Sonny bolted to his feet, a little too quickly, causing the room to spin around him. Steadying himself, he gasped loudly for a full breath of air and then chewed nervously on his bottom lip, frozen and unable to make any other movement lest he crumble to the ground. He felt weak; he felt flushed.

Something that should have been revealed to him in a private conversation (at least before it was announced to the whole damn town) had just turned into a public debacle with a quick, determined exhale followed by the breathy release of five simple words. "I am the baby's father."

At first Sonny thought, or at least hoped, that he had surely misunderstood Will's confession. He shook his head, trying desperately to rattle Will's heavy words into something that made more sense to him. Something logical that didn't turn his legs into silly putty and set his skin on fire. Something―hell, anything―that didn't make Sonny look and feel like a total and complete idiot…a damn fool standing here, firmly planted to the ground like a statue.

But, as soon as Will slowly turned and locked his defeated icy blue eyes onto Sonny's warm brown ones, Sonny knew without a doubt that his ears were, in fact, not deceiving him. Suddenly dizzy and nauseated, Sonny held firmly onto the pew in front of him for fear of sinking to the cold church floor beneath him.

_Why, Will, why? Why didn't you trust me with this? Why didn't you tell me?_

As much as Sonny tried, he couldn't breathe―the dry air like flames slapping hatefully at his nostrils. He suddenly became reacquainted with that old, unwanted feeling as it started to fully engulf him, a burning sensation that started deep within his gut and blazed its way completely though him, traveling through every engorged vessel and cruelly scorching each quivering cell within its sweltering path―an uncontrollable, unavoidable anger.

Sonny sucked at the air, trying to somehow pull it deeply into his blistering lungs, desperately trying to cool the rage that fueled the inferno burning inside of him.

_Just breathe… in and out, in and out._

He glanced down at his hands―stinging as if they were literally aflame, and he fought the sudden urge to blow on them. Gasping, he swayed back a little when he realized that the sting was coming from his fingers digging fiercely into the bench in front of him, his fingernails carving little crescent-shaped moons into the rounded edges of the hard wood.

Sonny could hear his name, knew people were calling out to him, trying to speak to him, asking him questions; but the meanings of their words never reached him, just floated helplessly, and without purpose, in the stagnant air around him.

He imagined Gabi and Nick laughing viciously at him behind his back; knew with certainty they were reveling in the fact that they were helping Will keep a deep, dark secret from Sonny that could potentially ruin Sonny and Will's amazing (yet too-new for this kinda crap) relationship. _How could Will so easily and willingly let Gabi and Nick control him? Give them that power_? Hot tears began to puddle, blurring Sonny's vision. Frustrated, he quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand.

_I am not weak! Pride is still intact._

_"Stupid, clueless, Sonny,_" he could almost hear Gabi and Nick scoff. He could see the wicked sneers on their faces, knowing fully that they were both capable of being selfish, vindictive bitches. Understanding this, Sonny had even threatened Gabi, realizing now that she was more-than-likely gloating on the inside during his failed, pathetic attempts to protect Will. Sonny despised that, being mocked and the feelings of helplessness and weakness that accompanied it.

He hadn't felt this way in a long time, remembered the first time it had consumed him wholly like this; and suddenly he was back in a crowded, noisy middle school lunchroom. Sonny had just been outed by his best friend, and a group of ignorant boys (his former so-called baseball buddies) had him cornered between two tables, jabbing at him with their scrawny fingers, leering and chanting, "Fairy, fairy! Sonny is a fairy."

At first he had stubbornly held his chin high (he normally "ruled the school" after all), but these four boys were cruel and relentless, and being out numbered soon got the best of him. He was never ashamed of the fact that he was gay, even back then (he gave all credit to his parents for that), but he hated―actually loathed― that sense of powerlessness that came from being picked on and made to feel like a fool.

Sonny had meekly and quietly given his middle school bullies the power to control him this way for three long days― frustration and defeat brewing and rumbling inside of him all the while. He would hide from them in the bathroom stall, peaking through the slats until the coast was clear; cower into himself whenever he saw them walking toward him in the hall; take the long way home from school for fear of running into them and being taunted on the sidewalk―anything to avoid being the receiving end and the brunt of their harsh and uncalled for jokes.

On day three something sparked wildly inside of Sonny (like a candle wick being lit for the first time) and he'd finally had enough of their cruelty. With his insides on fire he clenched his fists tightly and ended it by beating the bigotry right out of the ring leader―giving him a black eye, a fat lip, and a bloody nose―while one of his clowns cowardly watched, clearly shocked. The whole time, Sonny alternated between screaming with rage and swallowing deeply the cold December air, allowing it to lick at the flames inside him until the fiery furnace slowly began to cool and finally extinguish.

_"When someone asks who did that to you, tell them that a fairy did it!_" Sonny had yelled at them as they ran off. Sonny remembers collapsing onto the cold ground, laughing, and finding his true self again.

And here he was now, 10 years later, with his blood on fire once again, feeling like a big, damn joke, lost in this mess that was consuming him. Disgusted, he even began mocking himself._ "I know the secret, Will. Gabi is pregnant. I know the secret, Will. You needed the money for Gabi's abortion. Blah, blah, blah…"_

Will had confirmed that Sonny had, indeed, successfully figured out what the secret was, and Will had even looked Sonny square in the eye and told him that he was the single most incredible person he had ever met because Sonny was so understanding of what Will was going through. Will even went as far as telling Sonny that he felt he could trust him with anything...and everything.

Sonny remembers how those sweet and "genuine" comments had lit up the room for him that day and made him weak in the knees. He remembers the goofy grin that broke out across Will's face as he told Sonny to, _"Come 'ere."_ Will had reached across the table, settled his warm hands into Sonny's (a simple gesture that sent electric shivers up and down Sonny's spine) before playfully pulling him into a gentle kiss that had left Sonny feeling giddy and wanting more.

After promising to spend Christmas together, they had snuck out of the coffee shop and quickly headed straight to Sonny's apartment where Sonny had made love to Will―sweet and passionate―until the wee hours of the morning. Exhausted and completely satisfied, they finally fell onto the soft mattress, noses touching, sleepy smiles content, limbs intertwined and tangled in the sheets. Nothing else existed in the world for Sonny when they held each other like that. It was his favorite place to be, right beside with Will, his gorgeous Will, wrapped up together in bed, breathing each other in as if their very existence depended on it.

Not long after Will's breathing had become deep and relaxed, he'd bolted upright in bed, disoriented and wide-eyed. As usual, it didn't take Sonny long to soothe Will after one of his nightmares―that was the second one in a week. He gently pulled Will down to him, held him closely to his chest, and stroked his soft, dark blonde hair. Once again, Will had assured Sonny that it was nothing, just the stress of final exams, and once again, Sonny had believed him. They both laughed when Will told Sonny that in this dream he had showed up to take his Economic's exam in his birthday suit. The professor had failed him for indecent exposure. Sonny had genuinely chuckled; he now remembered Will's laughter being a bit forced and somewhat…disturbed.

_Lies! I am a fool! Shit, shit, shit…_

"Dammit, Will!" Sonny yelled angrily before he could help it, the words breaking from his seared throat on a broken sob (much to his chagrin) and bouncing off the rafters of the church. His face flushed to crimson. Frantically planning his escape and willing his legs to finally uproot, Sonny shoved his arms into his jacket and raced toward the exit.

_Did Will just cry out to me? Reach for me? Faster…have to move faster._

Before Sonny could successfully make his get-away, Will grabbed him and pushed him up against the back wall of the church, almost tripping Sonny in the process, making him feel like a spineless rag doll. Will was rambling, his eyes liquid pools of blue. His mouth was moving, but Sonny could not make sense of the jumbled words. Sonny's ears were humming, sounds muffled like he was deep under water, and he was seeing nothing but red.

Sonny wanted to take a swing at the mouth (that stunning mouth) that wouldn't stop spilling forth words that he could not comprehend, the syllables like a poison that his body was trying to fight off. Sonny balled his fists, but he couldn't do it…he wouldn't do it! Not to Will. Not now._ Not ever!_

Sonny needed a release, wanted to scream in Will's beautiful face and had to clench his teeth together―hold the heat in―to keep from doing so. Will rambled on and on…something about him not wanting this to change anything. Sonny was on fire.

_Why, Will, why? Can't understand you! I have to get out of here before I freakin' explode!_

Sonny smacked at Will's hands causing Will to release the tight grip that he had on the soft lapels of Sonny's jacket. "This changes everything!" Sonny spat just before he slung the double doors open wildly―barely hearing them slam against the wall―and ran from the church. He kept running, not knowing where he was running to, the frosty, unforgiving, winter air punching at him with each step, until he could run no more. Sonny came to a sudden stop, an anguished sob escaping him, hands resting on shaking knees, the freezing air choking him―a battle against fire and ice.

Sonny collapsed to the cold ground―the tears flowing freely now, sizzling against his cheeks―wondering if he would ever find his true self again.

"Will," he moaned out loud, no one around to hear his tortured cries. "Will, Will, Will…I love you, Will." He rolled to his side, pulling his knees to his chest, but still finding no comfort.

_How could you do this to me, Will? To us? How could you let Gabi and Nick make such fools of us? A mockery of our relationship?_

Sonny waited for a numbness that never came, his heart continued to smolder, conflicted between anger and gut-wrenching heartache.

_Just breathe…in and out, in and out._


End file.
