Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The Characters and all reference to events prior to this story are the property of J.K. Rowling and Co. I would love to own Draco and Harry and if I did there is no way Harry would have married Ginny but sadly I dont, so he did :(

A/N: First ever fic longer than a one-shot. It starts out pretty angsty but I PROMISE it gets less so and more romancy coz I'm a silly romantic at heart. Of course there will be angst still coz you cant have a good romance without angst and I personally HATE stories where everyone ends up happy and in love. Rated M for future situations just in case.

To differentiate:

**_Dreams_**

_Thoughts_

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**"_He's so beautiful don't you think?" The blond man leaned over the crib smiling at the blond baby within. Just two days old and it was so clear to all those around that he would grow to be the spitting image of his father. _**

**"_Mmmm... Definitely one of the most beautiful boys I've ever seen" A dark haired man commented as he came up behind his blond love. He wrapped his arms around the taller man and pressed a kiss to his neck. _**

**"_Worth all the pain?" the blond man chuckled, remembering the curses flying from his loves lips as he struggled to bring the baby into the world. _**

**"_You try pushing a thing that size out of an orifice never designed for that kind of torture and see how sweet and loving you feel" He was in no mood for teasing today, it had been a hard 9 months to bear followed by a gruelling 12 hours of labour before the beautiful boy was born. However, looking down at the sleeping bundle he couldn't help but think it was all worth it. A sentiment he was sure not to share with his lover as he was quite enjoying the sympathy so far. _**

_**Emerald green eyes locked onto Silver and they smiled. **_

**"_I love you, my phoenix" Those silver eyes shining happily as he gazed upon his dark lover._**

**"_I love you, my dragon" The darker man whispered as he pulled his love close and pressed their lips together._**

Harry awoke with a start. It was a dream he was sure, but the feelings continued to wash over him, contentment, love, joy, lingering pain but oh so worth it. _A welcome change from the nightmares at least, _he thought to himself as he settled back to sleep, almost wishing for the dream to sweep him away again. No such luck this time as another nightmare flashed through him, he saw Fred Weasley fall lifeless in the midst of battle, beyond salvation.

It had been mere months since the end of the war. Hogwarts had been rebuilt and those students who were due to complete their seventh year as the battle began, had returned to finish their schooling. The wizarding world was re-grouping and they all needed to be as prepared as possible to help pull their lives back together. Surprisingly, the students had all managed to recover somewhat from the events of the previous year, a testament to the resilience of children. Perhaps in a last ditch attempt to salvage some normalcy, old rivalries had been refreshed. The lions in their tower despised the snakes down in their dungeons; however none were so shallow as to think them all death eaters. After confronting the true evil of Voldemort and his army, the difference between evil and petty rivalry were suddenly so pronounced it would be an insult to those who had lost their lives to see evil in mere children.

So the Slytherins sneered, spouting their superiority now in terms of money, culture and connections, no longer linked to blood and breeding after the horrors of the war. The Gryffindors replied with shouts of the bravery of their lions and their quidditch prowess. The rivalry was hollow, insults seemed lacking, but it was necessary to make them feel like children again, to help them forget just how much they had grown.

There were two boys however who just couldn't seem to revive their old selves, both had seen and done more in one year then they should ever have thought in their entire lives. They were bound together in a shared misery, brought about by wholly different events but the same in the end.

Harry had lost more people in the short 18 years of his life than most would ever have found in a lifetime. All those who should have loved him, cared for him and held him through the aftermath were taken from him and those that were left were so filled with their own grief that they were unable to help with his. The ultimate Gryffindor, he soldiered forward, he laughed when those around him laughed, he studied when the silence started to close in and through it all he smiled, while his heart was screaming for someone to feel his pain.

Draco was too busy with his own pain. Many of those he loved had made it through, but some of those he so desperately needed had fallen in the end. His godfather had died senselessly, using his last moments for his final selfless act and now Draco felt so alone. His mother and father fussed over him, constantly checking his body for injuries but physically he was the perfect specimen he had been raised to be. Inside he was tearing himself to shreds but kept it hidden from the world, he could not fall down, he had to be strong for those he'd wronged. Draco knew he had hurt more people in his 18 years then most would ever love in a lifetime. Bill Weasley was forever scarred because Draco was too weak to fight the will of the Dark Lord. Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Lupin, Vincent Crabbe, Severus Snape and many others had all fallen in the end, and it was his fault. If he hadn't allowed the Death Eaters to infiltrate the school, Dumbledore could have saved them, but he was dead too and it was all Draco's fault.

The worst of it all, the ultimate pain, was Harry Potter. Draco had taken his mentor from him and so forced him to face an evil he was not strong enough to stand. Now he was just a ghost of his former self. No one else seemed to notice that something was lacking in the saviour, but Draco had always noticed Harry, and now he could see his pain written all over his face, in the way he walked and the silent tears falling down his face when he thought no one could see. Draco saw... and it was all his fault.

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A/N: I love Draco and so of course I don't think its REALLY his fault, but that's how he feels. Draco is very angsty here but he will still be the same guy, we all know he is capable of feeling guilt as evidenced in HBP so I dont think its OOC. Stick with me people, the story develops :)

Hmm.. just noticed its very short.. oh well.. its really just an introduction. If you would like more description of feelings, events etc. in the future, let me know, if you would like less, let me know, if its just right, let me know :)

Reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy and make me want to write more. :) (that was a not so subtle hint... did you all get it?)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... I never would have written that Epilogue. J.K. Rowling does own him and everyone affiliated with him, so she can do what she likes with him I suppose.

A/N: Another very short chapter, I'm trying to make it longer but my mind only seems to want to write in little bits. I think I'm best suited to One shots personally.

Enjoy :)

**_Dreams_**

_Thoughts_

**Magical creatures/objects speaking**

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_**The blond man moved swiftly through the shadows, pulling his winter cloak tight around his shoulders to ward off the chill. As he neared the end of the street, he saw a brightly lit doorway, where a raven haired man seemed to be waiting. A smile stretched across his face, and casting a silencing charm on his boots, he carefully approached his target. As he drew near, his smile became almost feral. **_**Almost there, **_**he thought to himself. **_

"_**You should be more careful love, I could have done anything to you in this deserted street" the blond man chuckled as he wrapped his arms around the man in the doorway. **_

_**Emerald eyes met Silver as the man twisted in his arms, planting a firm kiss to his lips.**_

"_**You can do whatever you like to me in this deserted street" he said, turning around completely and wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck. "Although I believe we might be missed, you're already late".**_

"_**Mmm... sorry love... business" the blond man mumbled against his lovers lips. "Lead the way my phoenix".**_

Draco smiled as he slowly reached consciousness; this dream was not the first of its kind and hopefully not the last. _That man seems so happy_; he thought wistfully, _I wish life was really that simple. _He sighed as he swung his legs out of bed and slowly stumbled to the bathroom.

As many of the Slytherins had chosen not to return this year, and those who did were very wary of being seen associating with him, Draco had been given a private suite, something he was grateful for every morning as he often woke _himself_ up screaming from nightmares. The entire room was black and silver, he had always been particular not to use too much colour in his decorations as he often grew tired of colours and this way he wouldn't have to change things every few weeks. A large double bed with canopy sat in the middle of the room, with equal distance to both walls. In fact, looking around the room, everything was perfectly symmetrical, more evidence of his 'perfect' upbringing. _A place for everything and everything in its place, _his mother always told him while the house elves busied themselves keeping his room in immaculate condition.

The adjoining bathroom wasn't anything spectacular. No huge bath big enough for a synchronised swimming squad, no ornate gold taps with a hundred different bubble baths and scents. Just a shower (barely big enough for one), a sink and a toilet, nothing else. Nobody wanted to spoil the boy, the staff having decided on his return that too many luxuries may have been his downfall. Never mind the Death Eater father, threats of death and dismemberment and just plain pureblood superiority rammed down his throat every hour.

"Blech... I look disgusting" he said to his reflection, giving himself the once over in the mirror before moving to the shower.

**I agree, **his mirror spoke up, **definitely need to work on your sleeping habits, you'd never see father looking like that first thing in the morning.**

"That's because I've never seen father first thing in the morning, I'm sure he gets up 3 hours earlier than the rest of us to make sure he looks perfect" Draco mumbled back before realising he was in fact just arguing with himself.

_Not a good sign Draco, you're going nuts, _he thought as he stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his slim hips. After ensuring his uniform was immaculate as always, _we must always be perfect Draco_, his fathers' daily nagging running through his mind; he emerged from the dungeons and trudged his way upstairs to History of Magic.

As he rounded the corner approaching the classroom he spotted a familiar head of dark hair waiting in the doorway. Draco couldn't help a smile sliding across his lips as he remembered the scene from his dream last night, when the boy turned, green eyes met his and his smile grew. Before he could say anything though, he noticed the boy's gaze had slid past him and was now locked onto something behind him.

"Hey Ginny", Harry called, smiling as the red haired girl pushed past Draco and threw herself in the waiting arms of her boyfriend, planting a kiss on his lips. Draco growled at the sight, not exactly sure why it bothered him so much. _I bet she doesn't even notice the way he looks at her, like he could bring her brother back to life if he just concentrated on that flaming head of hair for just a second longer, it's pathetic really. _Draco simply shook his head and continued on to the classroom, acknowledging the group on his way in.

"Potter" he nodded in his direction.

"Weasel" he sneered. "Weaslette" he added as an afterthought.

"Ferret" she muttered, imitating his nod to Harry.

Draco raised one eye brow in her direction and said nothing.

"Death Eater" Ron whispered obviously not intending the blond to hear.

In an instant, Draco turned and had Ron pinned against the cold stone wall, his forearm pressing into his throat. He pushed harder, earning a pained gasp from the boy as he struggled for air.

"Who do you think you are to talk to me like that" Draco threatened, his voice barely rising above a whisper as he pressed harder with his arm.

"You think because your family helped to win this war that it somehow makes you worthy of my time, that I should now cower before your greatness?" He sneered in the boys face, enjoying the way it seemed to be changing colour to match the striking red of his hair.  
"I am Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, descendent of two of the greatest families in wizarding history, and _you_ are a Weasel, not a penny to your name and yet you breed like vermin" he spat out.

"You're a bloody murderer" Ron managed to gasp out, anger flowing through him as he pictured the dead bodies of those closest to him. His whole life had been shattered as the battle drew to a close and they were all finally able to assess the damage. 'Casualties of war' the press had called them, 'an unfortunate sacrifice that needed to be made', but it wasn't their brother lying there dead. Draco and his family were the epitome of all that was wrong with the world; even after everything, they had gotten away with murder and it burned him to the core.

"You have no idea what I've done, or why I did it. So don't you _dare_ stand there and judge me. You lost your brother, get over it, you have three more to replace him" Draco's mouth thinned to line as he pressed his face closer to that of his rival.  
"But what can I do about the stain on my soul? How do I get rid of it? Who out there can understand _my _pain!?" his voice was rising at the end and beginning to crack so he stepped back, schooling his features back into the mask he had painstakingly created as a child. _Show no pain Draco, no anger, no happiness, no love. It is a weakness we cannot afford, _his father's voice again echoing through his head.

"I don't care what you think of me _Weasel_. Just don't ever speak to me again if you want to remain in one piece" His voice had dropped back to normal, and his stance was as unaffected as usual, if not for Ron now gasping for breath, struggling to regain some control, one would almost think nothing had happened.

Harry was holding Ginny back as she had immediately tried to leap to her brother's defence, his hand pressed against her mouth to stifle her cries. The second Ron had called Draco a death eater he had seen the agony in his old rival's eyes and listening to his whispered tirade had struck a chord deep within his soul.

_I understand..._

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Please Review... I'm very disheartened that I seemed to get more reviews for my oneshot than for this one.... if you don't review then I assume that all those people who read it decided they didn't like it and never want to read it again...

Oh and I hope Draco had a bit more "Draco-ness" to him...

For those who HAVE reviewed.. thank you so much :) you light up my life :)


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