My Little Pony My Town

TDR

presents

My Town 

She looks nervous.

No.

Not nervous, worried. Like she isn't quite sure what's going on. Far too much had happened lately and she's worried she's lost control. Honestly I'm not sure she ever had any control, just the illusion of it. Every pony followed along because they thought she was the one in charge, the one making things happen, planning for everything.

But she isn't in any more control than I was at first. Stuck dealing with the whims and actions of those around her. Seeing her like this really degrades the grand presence she normally has. After all this time she still is no more in control of the world around her than any one else. Except for me now of course, still it wouldn't do to keep her waiting, there is a etiquette to be followed and despite everything else I am still a stickler for pomp and ceremony.

"Greetings Princess. I was not expecting you to visit today." I state from my chair turning the plush seat around to face her.

Celestia nearly jumps at my words. A fraction of a second of involuntary movement was all it amounted to, but I've been staring at her so hard I couldn't help to notice it. Even with my head bowed in protocol my eyes never left her. I've been blindsided before, I can't make any more mistakes, not yet.

I can hear the shift of metal outside the door. She brought her Guards, no surprise there, though every pony knows they are really just for show. It's rare I've even heard of a Royal Guard who did anything but get their flank kicked. Useless symbols of excess, all of them. Even their supposed perfect Captain was so distracted by the wiggling of a pink ponies plot that he let Canterlot be over run and nearly destroyed by changelings. Granted I have seen Princess Cadence so I can understand why he was so easily distracted, but even so, it shows how pathetic the 'protectors' really are.

"Ah yes sorry about the surprise visit, but I am sure you know why I am here." Celestia states, her form and poise already recovered from being surprised. I would need to remember that, she could be surprised but not for long.

"Might I inquire as to why it is so dark in here?" she calmly asks.

"I've not been sleeping much lately I'm afraid Princess. Far too much work to do and I've found that bright light is a bit painful when I've been up so long. It's nothing serious I assure you. I used to do this far too often when I was just starting out here." My chair shifts a little as I move back into it, the plush seat being turned to face the map of Ponyville on the wall behind my desk. Still I watch her, an old mirror sat on the wall next to the map, I'm not sure it's place in the towns history , I should likely look that up later.

With how dark it is in here I'm not even sure she can see me, I can barely see her with the scant shafts of light coming from the door behind her and my eyes have long since adjusted to this gloom.

My own voice sounds odd in my ears as well. The words were true, but tainted with underlying meaning that she doubtlessly would miss. The tone I used was the same one I always used when speaking in public. Warm, comforting, but with a pitch just off enough to not be musical, or even enough to lull ponies to sleep.

"I suppose. I would suggest you take a day off, but this is not the time for it." Celestia responds, She nods lightly as she recalls my first few months here as an elected official. The previous holder of my position had made such a mess of everything and it took me forever to fix it. She did miss the subtlety I laced the statement with though, and was seemingly comforted by what she saw as a simple truth.

"I see you still have not gotten the window fixed from that horrid accident either." Celestia comments looking to the large sheet of plywood across the remains of the picture window, an even darker expression clouding her features.

"No room in the budget for it this month. I may just have it filled in any way. I doubt any pony needs to be reminded of what happened to that filly. Would you like some tea?"

She calmly shakes her head, the reminder that she was standing almost on the spot where a foal had died clearly making her uncomfortable. The reminder of that filly's death did the opposite for me though. It was the first step towards a goal, one I didn't even know I needed to take at the time.

=================

I recall the incident perfectly.

I was close to finishing early for the day, I had set an appointment at the spa and was going to relax for once. Try to forget the doldrums of my life and allow myself to be pampered for a bit. It was something I rarely did and it would help me relax before the next budget meeting in the morning. There had been far too many of those, so many that it was a wonder there was any budget at all with all the repairs and such. Our one potential windfall for the year collapsed when Applejack failed to win at that competition of hers. Still it was nice of her to offer the prize up in the first place when she didn't have to. I just wish she would have won is all.

I heard a yell and lifted my head from my desk just in time for the large picture window on the far side of my room to explode inward, in a shower of glass and shards of wood.

The scooter landed first, slamming into the bookcase on the far side of the room with enough force to shatter the shelving and send two of the wheels spiraling through the air to shatter a number of display cases for historical artifacts that were on display in my office. No amount of glue would ever put the urn of the first mayor of Ponyville back together again. The bookcase groaned from the impact as the lower shelves gave way though it remained upright.

The filly landed next, despite the buzzing of her tiny orange wings she landed hard on the carpet, crying out as the glass fell around her slicing her skin. She hit the floor loud enough for me to hear the sound of something breaking, clearly her rear leg from the angle it took. She too crashed into the bookshelf and sent the whole thing toppling over onto herself.

I simply watched it happen. It landed hard atop of her spilling tomes of law and order, sending them showering down on this little bundle of chaos.

I had known who it was from the moment the window broke. The little pegasus member of the band of marauders trying for their cutie marks. Those three had caused more issues and damage to the town than any monster in the year or so since they had first started this ignoble crusade of theirs. The parasprites had been less trouble in the long run.

And this one, this pathetic excuse for a pegasus was far worse than the other two. At least when the others broke something their parent's, or sister's at least, were around to pay for the damage. Anything this one broke came from the town's funding.

Of course when Celestia came up with the orphanage idea every pony had been excited at the prospect of a place for homeless foals. Then she linked the budget for the place together with the town that hosted it. Certainly there was a nice tax cut, but then there were foals like this one. To old for any pony to want to adopt them and too young to kick out yet. A leech, a drain on society before she even began to understand what that even meant. The stupid filly had been there for years.

I could hear the other two hooligans outside already, yelling up to the window as they tried to get through the door. I walked over to the prone filly looking down at her with all the disdain I could muster. She was hurt, quite badly as well. Of course she would live, and cost even more in medical bills to the town when we were already in a budget crisis so bad we couldn't even repair our own town hall without help.

I wasn't sure what prompted me to do it at the time. Perhaps it was the destruction, the build up of all the problems coupled with stress. Perhaps I was simply angry that my plans for the day were now ruined because some dumb filly no one wanted decided to try an get her cutie mark without caring for the consequences.

I looked down at her, trapped under the books and the shelf. The cuts from the glass bleeding into my carpet, another historical artifact ruined. Bits of wood lay across her form pinning her limbs to her side and holding her head back. I reached out, watching my own leg push at a piece of wood that was laying across her throat, and then bear down on it.

One would think a ponies hooves would be hardened, calloused, thick and unfeeling from all the walking done on the cobblestone streets and hard packed roads, particularly we earth ponies. But in that instant, I could feel every rough splinter on that bit of wood, felt it shift as it pressed against her neck, felt every rasp of breath that she struggled for as her air was cut off and the soft part of her throat started to give. I couldn't help but focus on that feeling putting more of my weight on the wood crushing her throat.

My gaze met hers and she stared at me with disbelief as more of my weight bore down on her. Disbelief that I wasn't helping her, disbelief that I wasn't calling for help or doing anything but what I was doing. I watched that disbelief fade from her, watched as the light in her eyes dimmed as her larynx gave out under the pressure. I remained there a moment longer to make sure before i stepped back from the body, looking down at it in shock as I realized what I had done. Right before my assistants and the other fillies rushed into my office.

I spent a week in panic. Despite no one seeing me do anything and every pony assuming she simply died in an accident caused by her own recklessness, and lack of supervision, I still panicked.

Other ponies took my panic as some sort of mourning or depression and tried to counsel me, and after a week no pony even wanted to speak about it any more to me.

It was then I discovered a number of things had changed in Ponyville.

The first was of course the most obvious to every one. The death of that filly brought the orphanage to light. It was a place most ponies ignored and the few caretakers were always understaffed. Of course no one thought of it that way, they thought of it as a failure on the part of the caretakers to not be watching every foal they had. The foals that were still there were moved to other places and the building was shut down with the matron in charge put under investigation.

That freed up far more of the budget than I had expected. Not enough to fix everything, but enough that some of the more pressing issues could be dealt with before they got worse.

The next was death of one of their number also destroyed the CMC and all but removed random panics and damages to the town from their actions. It was simply astounding how much the number of repair bills and town riots fell off after the 'accident'.

The last thing was oddly the weather.

Ponyville hosts a small number of weather pegasi, though they were all led by Rainbow Dash. She was also the primary weather pegasi, being the most skilled meant she was also the one placed in charge of the most work. Unfortunately, the mare was notoriously lazy and oft times didn't even show up to do her job at all leaving Ponyville's weather in the chaotic hooves of nature.

That all changed after the death of the filly. Rainbow became much more sullen, though now she actually did her job without any fanfare or show, simply to keep herself distracted.

I cannot tell you how glorious it is to have a weather report that you can actually trust to be accurate for once. 

===========

"Has it been difficult as of late for you?" Celestia acts cutting off my flashback.

"No more than usual Princess. There is little I can do given the goings on aside from worry about it. I have tried to coordinate to keep the town safe, but that only seems to be working partially. Mostly I try and keep the panic down."

"I see. Do you know who the first actually victim might have been then?" she asks,there was a tone in her voice that I had not heard before. Likely she was either insinuating something, or was simply angry at what was happening with nothing to focus on. I couldn't tell. My chair creaks again as I lean back looking at the map above me, she didn't seem to care I wasn't looking at her.

"I do Princess. If I am not mistaken, it was Miss Pinkiamenia Pie."

================

A few weeks after the accident I made a realization. The town that I had been elected to run, and to serve and protect to the best of my abilities had actually improved because of my dark actions.

One useless leach was gone and suddenly my town was doing better. Dash doing her job meant I didn't have to hire temporary ponies for weather duty, the lack of property damage to municipal buildings was almost non existent and it had been over a week since any sort of panic attack had happened.

All because of one death.

I started thinking to my self, what other problems could have such a easy solution? Just remove one number from the equation and see a marked improvement? Simple subtraction instead of the hours of fiddling with percentages and such that came about from taxes and tithes.

I began checking records and damage reports seeing who was costing the town the most. Who was doing the most damage to the safety and security of my town. Despite the improvements we had already, there was always room for more.

It was quite a list.

Most of it could be dismissed as accidents, over worked farmers, stupid cattle, or attacks by monsters from the forest.

How ever there were a number of repeat offenders and at the top of the list was one pony I knew caused her fare share of problems.

Pinkie Pie.

A number of homes in town were vacant because she had run off prospective buyers with her insistence of friendship and parties. Like wise a number of business owners had moved on past Ponyville for the same reason. Several nobles who had wanted to invest in various things here had c hanged their minds after finding she lived here. Most recalled her actions at the last Grand Galloping Gala and fled as soon as they saw her taking their investments elsewhere.

Then there were the pay for the cleaning crews that were forced to pick up after her constant parties,on the town's bit most of the time. Several of them drew bigger paychecks than even I did.

Thinking of how much I could save the town if she was no longer around rattled around in my head for days.

I dismissed the ideas as fanciful, dark wishes that would never see the light of day. Nothing I would ever act on. Then the clone incident happened.

I wasn't sure why, or how, or even what, but the damage that a horde of pink ponies did to my town dropped the budget right back into the toilet and out the other side. Even after she was reduced back to only one pony, the stack of complaints and damages caused by her was far beyond anything we could have prepared for. Once again the town was on the borderline of bankruptcy and those who had caused the incident didn't have the decency to try and help or even admit it. I couldn't even bill her as she was mostly paid in room and board from her job and didn't even have any money.

So I started to plan. With one goal in mind.

Pinkie Pie needed to die.

-

In all honesty it was no where near a decent plan. I should have never managed to pull it off. I expect it happened only because I was lucky, or she was stupid. Maybe a bit of both. 

I can't believe how easy it was to lure Pinkie Pie to a secluded place. She was very trusting when I offered to show her a new place to host parties. I chose one of the old warehouses, one that her antics had both damages and deterred some pony from buying. I thought it rather fitting.

I didn't really have a plan for the next part, I brought an ax to the place earlier. It was one of the old antiques from town hall. It was supposed to be the ax wielded by one of the town founders used to cut back the Everfree forest. Despite having been in a ruined display case it was covered in so much dust from just sitting there that I sneezed just looking at it at first. With all the damage going on a few artifacts missing from my office wouldn't raise much concern if I simply told any pony that asked it was in storage to prevent deterioration. I doubted any pony would ask however.

I took it up as soon as I came in, letting Pinkie bounce ahead of me babbling excitedly at how much open space the place had and where exactly she could put the punch bowl.

I moved up behind her and she stopped suddenly, mentioning something about a wiggly tooth, claiming that had never happened before and she didn't know what it meant.

I didn't give her time to figure it out. The first swing hit the side of her head, glancing off her skull and stripping the flesh all the way from her cheek up to the top of her head the ax head sheering off her ear and a great chunk of that ridiculous pink hair of hers. She tumbled to the ground with a cry and I regained my control of the ax for another swing, slamming the implement into the mares head with as much force as I could, cutting off the short burst of screaming after only one or two more blows.

Red gore and bits of bone shot into the air along with chucks of curled hair. Blood coated the ax head and handle splattering me with flecks of red, my leg fur became soaked in it as I swung the ax over and over again covering everything in gore. I started humming a tune to myself as I worked, breaking into laughter at the absurdity of it. I realized it was that Smile song the damned mare had sung when she manged to get the whole town into that flash mob that derailed businesses all day.

Eventually I had to pause for a breath of air. My heart was racing, sides heaving from the unaccustomed exertion. I looked down at the mash of gristle and gore that was all that was left of the pink ponies head as I struggled to catch my breath. One of her back legs twitched and I immediately started laying into her again, smashing my hooves against her side, feeling the ribs crack under my blows,watching the blood spurt from the wounds.

When I finally backed off again her belly had split open and I swear the whole warehouse smelled like cupcakes and candy. It was absurd, but perfectly fitting with the damned mare. Of course I also realized she didn't have a head when she had twitched and I had essentially been beating a dead horse, the pun alone made me giggle to myself for an hour or more as I finished up.

After cleaning myself and the ax as best I could, I set the building on fire. I left a number of oil soaked rags on the corpse ducking out as soon as the inferno was big enough to hide what I had done.

I hid the ax behind a dumpster and was coming out of the ally when the first ponies arrived and saw me. Luckily they all thought I had come at the sight of the blaze as well given my position no one thought it strange and I came back for the ax later to replace it in my office.

-

It took days to identify the body. The only reason they managed it is that some one simply noticed Pinkie Pie was missing. Little more than that. Again I waited and found that no one had paid any attention to where she was the night she died. In truth most ponies even thought this was an accident given her provocation with playing with that cannon of hers.

I was in total shock at the time. The towns ponies couldn't be this stupid could they? I even saw the body and the remains of the head, no one could consider that an accident could they? But they did, no one saw me with her some how before the fire so no one even questioned me.

Well nearly no one thought it more than an accident. Twilight Sparkle didn't think it was, despite saying as much to any one who would listen no one seemed to believe her. Most thought she was simply failing to cope with her friends death.

By the end of the week I didn't even care that one pony was suspicious. Rainbow Dash had quit and gone to Cloudsdale, evidently not able to handle the deaths of two ponies she was close to. It was very easy to find a reliable, and much cheaper replacement.

With the old warehouse burnt down and being cleared away some pony became interested in the land and was willing to pay a bit more because it was cleared off already.

The Pie family came and took the body back for burial, leaving with out incident or question about the events.

I felt a rush from this that I had never felt before. I had removed two problems plaguing Ponyville. Two issues my town would never have to deal with ever again.

But there were others.

========================

"I was told that was some sort of accident." Celestia interrupts my thoughts again.

"I believe it was, as do a number of others, but Miss Sparkle thought otherwise so I will simply assume for her sake she was correct."

I watch her flinch, doing my best to hide a small smirk. She did know about it. Likely why she was even here. I turn around pushing a few things around on my desk looking through the piles of papers and other items idly.

"Who else?" she demands.

"A unfortunately sizable number." I respond. Celestia should know this already.

"Do you know the names?"

" I do. Let me see here, there was Derpy Whooves ….."

================

…...Those damned eyes of hers popped right out of her skull from the pressure I was putting on it. They hit the ground dangling like over ripe grapes on a vine ready to be crushed. I had already torn free her wings and shoved them far enough into her throat that she was choking on them as I stomped on the back of her skull, in the end I'm not sure if the choking, the blows to her head or blood loss was what killed her. Accidental clumsiness or not, she would never break anything with her flank ever again...

===============

"... the flower trio, I'm sorry I cannot recall their names off the top of my head, but that was the most common name used to describe the three. Of course we still have not found any bodies so they may be fine..."

=================

…... as I shoveled the last bit of dirt atop the still squirming Lily. I had to smirk at the irony of these easily panicked riot starters being food for the flowers they had loved. Was that considered irony? Oh who the buck cared at this point...

================

"... Zecora..."

==============

…... To be honest I had no idea what I had managed to do by randomly mixing some of those potions.

The zebra mare, or what was left of her that hadn't been reduced to a goopy oozing glob from the explosion of chemicals, flailed around her house wildly dumping more of the mixes on herself and causing even more burns and boiling cysts and bubbles to burst from her striped flesh. Blood poured from her mouth and ears and the whole house was ablaze or melting from vile fumes before she finally collapsed on the ground in a puddle, her body slowly dissolving into the chemical mess on the floor.

It might have been some time since she last terrorized the town with her presence, but the old fears were still about in a number of ponies and we couldn't have good honest towns folk cowering in their homes just because of one zebra...

================

"... Two colts by the name of Snips and Snails, although they were killed by a wild animal so it's not certain if they were part of this..."

================

…... this was almost laughable, these two had brought a Ursa into town on their own and they were still dumb enough to follow a trail of candy leading right into a maticore den.

I shook my head as the colts screamed and the beast roared. Better the pair of them never got to a breeding age any way.

================

"...Spike the Dragon..."

Celestia didn't flinch at that, odd I expected her to have some reaction considering how close she had been with the creature...

===================

….. I laughed down at the reptile flailing at the bottom of the old well outside of town. Just like the foals to the maticore the dragon had been dumb enough to follow a trail of gems to the well. One good push and down he went. No more ransacking the town in fits of greed for this lizard. I heard him crying at the bottom and realized that wouldn't do.

Of course there were several piles of large stones out here that were going to be used to fill the well. An old project that was stopped to channel the funding into other damages that were more pressing. Thinking on it, it was dangerous to leave it open like this were some pony could fall in. I suppose as a public servant I could try to do something about it.

I lifted a large stone shoving it over the lip of the well listening to it fall and land with a heavy thud on the ground far below. Another few stones of the same weight and I finally heard the sickening crunch and the end of the whimpering I had been hoping for...

=====================

"That's enough." she says.

"There are quite a number more," I admit with a sigh shifting in my chair again as I looked up at her.

It's obvious at this point she is mad, and it is also rather obvious that it is directed my way. Seems I have run out of time. Pity, I had almost finished with the last few trouble makers.

"How could you?" she asks simply.

"Hmmm?" I look down at my desk clicking my hoof on the shiny oak top. I had not planned for this just yet, but I should have expected it the day I removed Pinkie Pie from being a threat to the town. Element of Harmony and all that.

"Do not bother to try and lie to me any more Mayor. I know you are the murderer." Celestia growls.

"Really. And why would you say that Princess?" I ask, showing no outward concern. I knew from the reports of the wedding she was far from infallible.

"Twilight sent me a letter with her suspicions after she found Spike."

I nod my head lightly at that, noting in the highly polished desk top that I could see pink at the roots of my mane. Perhaps I would let it grow out this time. No, decorum needed to be maintained, I pushed aside a few more papers and found what I was after. "Hmm I didn't think she could send a letter with out the dragon, ah well. I gather you came in here to ask me why? That does seem like something you would do."

"That IS what I want to know." Celestia admits as she stares at me. If looks could kill I am sure I would be quite dead at this point.

"To keep my town safe of course. Every pony who died was known to cause issues or property damage, riots, or even full blown health hazards to the average citizen of the town. Ponyville has gotten much less dangerous without all of them around. It's almost like a real town and not a disaster waiting to happen."

"How can you even try to justify this... This is horrific. " she exclaims moving towards the desk staring down at me from the other side. I could see flickers of flame in her mane and tail, she was barely restraining herself.

"I could ask you the same." I retort."You knew your sister would come back and cause havoc here, you didn't warn anyone. You knew about the fiscal trouble we have, yet you heaped more burden on us. You knew about the wretched state this town is constantly left in and you have not once lifted a hoof or a bit to help. For bucks sake a number of these issues came straight from Canterlot because you dumped them on this town. I spent a whole day chasing a doll and fighting other towns ponies because of your inaction and placement of a dangerous individual here. One with a mental disorder or six at that." I rant on, smirking to myself by the end as I stand in my chair, fore hooves planting on my desk,my eyes meeting the angry alicorn's gaze. I am sure she was unused to looking into the face of such dedication as she flinches first. Then again perhaps it was madness, though I felt fine " At least THAT, won't happen again."

She opens her mouth to retort though, her mind catches up with her right before her mouth does. Her eyes go wide as I shove something across my desk at her, a lavender horn severed and cracked at the base. Twilight had been missing for a few days now, and I simply confirmed the Princesses fears.

The shock is evident on her face. Twilight had that same expression when I presented her a hoof full of yellow feathers and a clump of bright pink hair. We had had one bunny stamped through town too many from that timid mare.

I didn't hesitate. I was over my desk knocking the larger pony aside in a mad dash to my goal before she recovered.

She rights herself quickly turning in rage to chase after a pony she thought was fleeing, her horn starting to glow, wings flaring. She didn't expect I only went to the display case a few feet from my desk. The shock of my still being right in her face as she turns caused her to pause, that was all I needed. The debacle at the wedding showed me she wasn't infallible, nor was she invincible.

The gush of blood splattering up from the pure white form before me soaks into my fur and likely stains my white hair even further, as if I need another excuse to re dye it. I yank the ax free feeling the head of it grind against bone. I raise it up, dropping it again with a meaty thunk as she falls, hearing the guards finally start to move far too late to stop me.

"The why of it Princess, is I'm removing all the problems in Ponyville, because this is MY town..." 


End file.
