Once Upon a Time 1. Legs

Legs. If only she had them, she could follow him. She would run, chase him over the land. Throw her arms around him, only to tell him who she was. If only she had legs, maybe he wouldn't try to kill her every time she caught his eye. For after all, mermaids were dangerous creatures, and no one, not even the love of her life, could believe she wasn't like the rest of them.

Once, the red haired beauty had been so lucky to have legs, though it had only been a curse. Flushed up ashore, lungs filled with water, the sixteen year old had been frightened to death. It was nothing like she had thought it would be, but as the man who had fulfilled her dream had said, all magic comes with a price; she had started to realize the truth. She could never be what she was not.

It had been more than 300 years since he had found her on that beach, nearly dead, bringing her onto his ship, nursing her back to health. She hadn't been able to speak back then, her mesmerizing voice had been the price she would have to pay, to get her legs. However, the young Captain who had helped her hadn't seemed to care about that. The way her green-blue eyes met his blue was more than enough for the both of them. It was real, it would've been, if it weren't for the way he broke the curse by kissing her, on her fifth day with legs. If it weren't for the way she had started to feel unbearably dehydrated, and forced to dive into the oh so deep water, feeling her legs disappear behind her, and turn into that despicable fin of hers, her only true curse. And throughout the years, Ariel had learned that nothing, not even true love's kiss, could break that curse.

The girl had always hated the way she could sing, not because it wasn't beautiful, no, it was one of the most beautiful sounds in her world. But most beautiful things where she lived were also very deceptive. The worst part about it wasn't the way it hypnotized men and brought them into her trap, the worst part was how it changed her aswell. It turned her into something she had no intention of being. Somewhat of a bloodthirsty monster, a beautiful bloodthirsty monster. So she hadn't used her voice in a long time. But that one sunny day in June, when she had imagined seeing him from afar, the man she had once loved, she could not help it but to sing. To make them come closer, to see if it really was him. If he was still alive after all those centuries. She had quit singing before they had gotten too close, but it was impossible for her not to see who it was, sailing his ship.

He had changed. The boy she had once loved, the man she still believed she did love, was all grown up. Many years older, approximately 300 years older, but he only looked about 10 years older. The deep blue eyes hadn't changed, except for the emptiness she imagined herself seeing in them. He looked handsome, yet somewhat bewildered with the, to her, new facial hair of his. The biggest change was obvious, inevitable. It made her curious, a bit sad and even more confused. His left hand had for some reason been replaced with a hook. But it was him, without doubt. The man she hadn't seen for what seemed like forever. The man she could never let go. Killian Jones.

So it had become a habit of hers, since that day, singing the Jolly Roger closer and closer to herself, only to watch him smile, to watch him fight and to watch him live. Of course she always stopped, before it was too late for her to do so. But it was quite an obsession, and it was quite the prophesy that she would take it too far one day - unaware of the actual pain she could cause. At first, it was all because of him. Because of the way she loved watching him, because of the way she loved him. She wanted to see him up close, she wanted him closer, maybe so that she could touch him. But because of how she changed, it turned into something else. She wanted the ship closer, all those men, because of the thirst, and the sudden anger, that appeared inside of her. As the creature realized what she was doing, and brought herself to stop doing so, it was very much too late. Because as she stopped, the many men enchanted by her voice and beauty, snapped out of it and found her, a dangerous mermaid, on their ship. She would've ran, if she only had legs. But she was much too slow for that, trying to pull herself down into the water.

A sweltering pain stuck the girl, and as she turned around to find a sword piercing her fin, she also met the deep blue eyes of the only person she had ever loved. It was rather well-known that mermaids were incapable of love. She knew that couldn't be true. She knew what love was, and she was one of them. She was capable of it. She knew it because of the pain, not only the physical one, that struck her looking into his eyes. Being determined, the girl knew what she had to do, ripping herself free from the sword she slid into the water, which quickly turned blood-red. And so she decided that she wouldn't sing again. Not because of the danger it had put her in, but because of the danger it had put him in, and because of the monster he had seen when he had looked at her, not hesitating a moment to try to kill her. Because of the dangerous and deceptive ocean she turned into, as she tried bringing herself to love, like the humans did.


	2. Arms

Arms. Strong arms, grabbing around her waist, pulling her towards the surface. Towards the sun and the drought. Any other time, she would've gone with her instincts, used her strength to drag the person down, drowning them. At this time, she wasn't strong enough, mentally nor physically. She was hurt, and didn't have the energy to fight him. It had to be him, sending electrical shivers down her spine. Thinking about what he might do to her frightened her, he would probably kill her for trying to kill them. The question was how he was going to do it. He would make it painful, and she was weak. She would not be able to fight back, in the same way she couldn't fight back in the water. It was even harder for her on land. Not many people could manage to pull a mermaid out of the water, but he did manage, throwing her up on board, the sun blinding her. As soon as the girl could see again, she was caught with surprise, as the one-handed captain managed to get rid of the crew, which obviously was very much against having a mermaid who had just tried to kill them on board. Ariel could do nothing but to stare at him in shock, as he poured a stinging liquid onto her wound and wrapped a fabric around it. He was actually helping her, although she had no idea why he would do such a thing. It was rather amazing, and she couldn't say it didn't make her happy, how he was helping her, but she still couldn't see why. She was blinded with confusion. He should hate her, he was supposed to. It almost hurt her more, in a way, or maybe the feeling was relief. But she had been missing him for 300 years, thinking he was gone, thinking if he weren't gone, he would hate her for what she was. And then he looked at her.

Tears in the eyes of the strongest man Ariel had ever known, was a rare sight. He had always seemed a bit broken as she watched him, but never sad. Never crying. He would always be hurting in his own arrogant way, never like this. Perhaps it was her fault. Since she had never seen him like this before, it had to be her fault. "Are you okay?" he asked her. The man with tears in his eyes, asked her, if she was okay. Silently she nodded. Silence was something she had gotten used to. Since she couldn't speak, nor sing, when she had legs, she had learned not to use her voice too often, like other mermaids. She didn't like the things about herself that made it easy for her to take advantage of people, she didn't want that, any of it. In his voice, however, there was some kind of harshness, as if he was forcing himself to speak to her. He probably was, he wouldn't want to take to her, but felt forced. That had to be it. He couldn't let her die, or risk it happening. It could be that he still loved her, the way she loved him. Perhaps he had even been looking for her, like she had been searching for him. But he wouldn't realize the impossibility of them ever being together again, or he did, and that was what made him sad. Thinking about it made her sad to, even though she had spent a lot of time lately, thinking about that. How she wanted a way to be with him. But wasn't that everybody's wish? The impossible made possible? She had to realize the truth, and slowly, she was doing that. "Thank you," she mumbled, quietly, lowly, shameful of that voice of hers, looking to the ocean which practically called her name, turning to dive back down there, when he surprised her again.

"I'm not letting you go this time." His somewhat ragged voice was determined, yet quiet. She could never go against that, leave him after hearing him saying that, but the question was whether she had a choice. She could never give him anything, she could never bear his children, or settle on land, in a house. And even if someone could help her getting legs again, she could never even kiss him, for that would break the curse. The two of them together, was impossible. "I almost killed you, your crew.." She spoke quietly again, afraid to speak up, afraid of the sound and what it might do to the both of them. He simply shook his head in disbelief. "You would never do that, Ariel." He spoke her name as if it was poisonous, as if he hadn't said it, or thought it, in a hundred years. He probably hadn't, her instant thought was that he hadn't been thinking about her at all. But she knew how naive she was thinking such a stupid thing. During the years that had gone by, there hadn't been a day that she hadn't thought of him, wondering what had happened to him. There hadn't been a night that his face hadn't flashed by in a dream. Their kiss had broken the spell, which meant he must have loved her just as much as she had loved him. She was his true love, just as much as he was hers. The outcome of that was him not saying her name to protect himself, after realizing he might never see her again. That had to be it. No matter how happy, imagining that was the reason, made her, she could not look away from the truth. She was dangerous. She was more dangerous than a one-handed pirate and his fearsome crew, at least to the people in question.

"But I did." Forcing herself to speak again, reluctantly, she looked at him, and this time she was the one with tears in her eyes. "And I am very sorry for that, Killian, but I cannot stay. I will not allow myself to hurt you, but this is what I am. I have to go." Such a long sentence almost made her throat burn, because she knew what her voice did. She didn't let it, she wouldn't, but blinding herself by blinding him was not something she could help, if it were to happen, and that was the exact reason she couldn't stay, no matter how badly she wanted to. "There is no way we could.." He interrupted her as she tried explaining to him what she had figured out over the last 300 years. "There is a way," he said, voice still ragged, low. Eyes still tearing, yet hopeful. Even a little scared. He wasn't sure. But for the first time in very, very long, the mermaid wishing she was a girl, was filling up with hope. Colorful, blissful hope. Hope to break her curse, the unbreakable one. 


	3. Drought

The world around her was burning, it felt like it anyway. His kisses were burning too, like dry sand being poured into her lungs. In one way she loved it, and in another it was a kind of torture. She was not made for a life on land, and it made itself more clear for every day that passed by. After simply two days on his ship, even if going for a swim every other hour, she couldn't take it anymore. Her skin was dry, her hair was dry and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He still hadn't told her about his genius plan, and the girl was starting to suspect there wasn't one. He could've said it to make her stay. His deceptive nature had also become clearer over the last couple of days. Perhaps he didn't try to manipulate her, but he did it to his crew all the time, and Ariel didn't think it was impossible that he could do it to her as well. She didn't blame him for it, her deceptive nature - the one she couldn't always control, was worse than his. He only did what he had to do, and she could respect that. But she couldn't stay, it was impossible. That was why she had to leave at night, when Killian was asleep. Diving into the water was a relief. Probably a lot like having been in the desert for months and finally getting a sip of water, or even a shower. She imagined it being very different for humans. Perhaps it was comparable with nearly drowning and taking that first breath when finally coming up to the surface, or maybe the way their skin crumbled after being in the water for too long. It was the opposite of what was happening to her, but that would probably be the best way to explain it.

Her skin had literally started to flake, and obviously it was worse on the fin. Her hair was not to talk of, it was really frizzy and damaged, and had gotten that way in a matter of days. It hurt her, not because she cared about what her hair looked like, but because she couldn't live on ground as much as she wanted to. Having to leave him like this was not fair either, but she couldn't bare it anymore. And she needed to sleep, which she hadn't been able to do because of the drought. No matter how much she hated herself for needing it, it was such a relief, swimming down to the bottom of the nearly bottomless ocean, falling asleep on a bed of sea grass. It made her strong again, it healed the wound on her fin, which Killian so desperately had tried healing with alcohol and bandage. It seemed as if he still looked at her like one of them, when she wasn't nearly the same race. She must had been down there for days, following her instincts, living, time wasn't easy to measure down there, it was dark almost all the time, since it was so deep, and it was cold. But she liked it cold, and she needed it after the burning sun. She had even gotten tanned by the sun, and it was very known that mermaids were never tan. She had always been pale, almost paler than humanly possible, due to the very little time she ever spent in the sunlight. Eventually though, she felt a gravity pulling her up towards him, just as strong as the one that had pulled her back down into the deep. She had to get to him, as quickly as possible, and she truly hoped she hadn't lost him, that they hadn't gone too far away. No matter the impossibilities of it, she needed to be close to him again, now that she knew there was nothing mental keeping them away from each other. He didn't hate her for what she was, it obviously scared him, for some reason she didn't know, but he cared for her. He tried to help her, in his naive, human ways. She would not let some drought keep them away from each other. He had said there was a way, and once again she did believe him, she simply couldn't see how there could be a way.

She was met by anger, as she once again got up into the dry world. Anger, and passion. He was screaming at her, jumping into the water to once again wrap his arms around her. It was as if he couldn't make up his mind, whether to be angry or glad. He was a bit of both, or a lot of both. However, the mermaid with way too many feelings for a mermaid, and way to little feelings for a human, was overwhelmed by his. It was as if they were unlimited when it came to feeling things. Humans were truly amazing, he was. "I'm not leaving, but I was fading away up here. It's not natural," she said, this time a bit chocked by the strength in her voice. It must had come with the water - the way it empowered her. It frightened her, again. The man nodded silently, an apologetic look in his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to actually apologize. She was glad, since she didn't think he had anything to apologize for. He didn't know what the air and sun did to her. It was a weakness mermaids kept to themselves, actually they kept all of their weaknesses to themselves, due to all kinds of creatures that had it out for them. That was also why they kept to themselves, at the bottom of the sea. The world above the surface was a dangerous place for all mermaids. "You need to tell me about this plan of yours," she said, restricting herself by speaking quietly again. Jumping up on the ship, she landed harshly on the wooden floor. It wasn't that it hurt her, she was a very strong creature, but it was unusual, not having the resistance of the water, simply falling to the ground with an odd speed. He followed her, looking hesitant. He probably didn't have a plan. It had to have been his deceptive ways trying to keep her close, one way or another. But then he spoke, him too quietly, with that ragged voice of his, eyes facing the horizon.  
"There are many people caught in this world after a horrible curse struck about 30 years ago. They are trying to get to the people they love, that are caught in a very different place. A world without magic - Storyville. I have met people with different theories as to how to get there, people who have been there once. I've been working with a witch, trying to find a way." Suddenly she understood. If there was a world with no magic, she could not be a mermaid, could she? After all, she was a magical creature. But he didn't sound sure, whether it would change her, nor to if there was a way. "Why were you trying to get there? Before.. with the witch?" she mumbled, trying to understand what there was dragging him to that world. He looked hurt, in a way, but reluctant in another. It seemed as if he didn't want to speak about it. "Nothing of any matter anymore. We will get there together, but I'll have to sail ashore, and take from both the witch and the princesses trying to find a way back," he said. Ariel, always trying to analyze him, figured that he didn't want to steal from either of them, and it did make her wonder. Wasn't there a way to get them there too? She was sure, however, that he would've considered that before deciding this was the only way. She would let him go with his plan, no matter his deceptive nature. Telling herself that she was worse, she needed to let him do this. Do it for them, so that they could be together. So that she could be with him. She had to trust him, it had to be the only way. Letting him set sails for the magical forest, she dove back in, following the ship under water, trying to make sure nothing would happen to him. The man who would fight for what she wanted. The pirate who would do whatever it took to be with her. 


	4. Hook

Hook's POV

Running, he made his way through the forest. He felt a need to rush, to get both the ashes from the tree, and the compass, before anyone else could use it, therefore securing a lifetime with Ariel, in a world with no magic. He had never cared much for magic anyway. Sure, he had liked it in neverland, never growing old, but it was a dangerous place, and he wasn't going to get his crocodile over there. But the world he was born in was a strange place, and there was nothing keeping him there, if she was coming with him. For once, he something important to accomplish. Perhaps he could've felt some sort of compassion for Cora, perhaps Swan and the other princesses, but he didn't. He didn't care if they were stuck here, maybe subconsciously he did feel sorry for Swan, or perhaps her son Henry, but this was more important. She was more important. He knew she had lived a miserable life, not that he had known what she was until a couple of days ago, but he could see it in her eyes. It hurt her the most, it was as if she needed to be human, and she was ashamed of who she really was. He intended of giving her whatever she needed, whether it was a pair of legs, or someone to trust with her life. It wasn't that it didn't hurt him too, he didn't see anything wrong or ugly, dangerous, in who she was. She was beautiful, in fact, probably the most beautiful creature who had ever existed, but he had also come to realize how they couldn't be together like this. He couldn't live under water, and she couldn't live above it. There had been times when he had been angry with her for that, not being able to live on land, but he knew she couldn't help it, and he didn't ever want to blame her for anything again. It only reminded him of who he had become over the last 300 years, and he was nothing like the boy she had met, when she once had legs. But that didn't stop her from still trusting him, loving him, like no one else ever had. There was nothing he would ever trade for that. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep that.

"Hook!" It was an angry voice, echoing through the woods. He didn't like being called that name anymore, no matter the fact that it was what he had been called for centuries. Not when he got to hear her magical voice calling him Killian, every day. He wanted to believe that it had made him a different man, a better one. Perhaps it was impossible doing so, making him better, but if anyone could do it, it was her. He knew she thought she was worse than him, but she was unable to see how she made up for that side of her, by being so incredibly kindhearted. She could never hurt anyone, at least not if she knew what she was doing. Besides from that, she was doing whatever she could to break away from the part of herself wanting to hurt people. What she didn't understand was that his bad side was not something he couldn't control, he was totally conscious of what he was doing, and maybe he even liked it a bit. It was who he was. She was definitely the better one. However, the voice in the wood seemed to have found him, and to his surprise, Emma Swan did not seem angry anymore, at the least a bit annoyed to see him again. That meant she didn't know how he had turned on them yet. He had never meant to help them, since they hadn't planned on bringing him with. Neither of them were trustworthy, but if he had to choose, he would go with Cora. Now, however, he wasn't going with neither. He was going with Ariel, and nothing could change that. "Swan.." he said, smiling slightly. "You found me," he added, tired from all the running. The truth was oppose to his statement. He had found them. The four princesses wandering the woods. This was going to be easy.

The girls were naive, way too naive for their own good. How people never learned to do things for themselves. The trick Cora had pulled with the heart must had worked, because they trusted him right away, letting him in on their little plan to find and trap Cora, to get the ashes for themselves. He had to admit it was a pretty good plan, which they unfortunately wouldn't be able to go through with. But the trapping the witch part of the plan was definitely useful, which made the infamous Captain change his plans of snitching the compass as the girls fell asleep. He decided to go with them, help them trap Cora to his own advance. If he did so, they would trust him, and he could get to both the ashes and the compass a lot easier than he first had planned. But he was still in a hurry, though he knew that they wouldn't get to the ashes, and Cora wouldn't get to the compass, without him knowing. He was the one with all the advantage, but he needed to get back to her, make sure she was safe. Make sure they got away from this world as soon as possible. So he made the girls hurry too, telling them that Cora might find another way to find the world, and if she did, the ashes, and their portal, was forever lost. Naive as they were, they trusted him, why wouldn't they, when Aurora had praised him, told them that he was the one who set her free. They believed that he actually wanted to help them. Things were exactly the way he wanted them.

Three days later they had found the ink in the dungeons and made their way back to the island where Cora had last been seen. It had been decided that Hook was to go in, because she trusted him, and he hoped she still did after the whole heart issue. She probably would, at least he had to tell himself that to find the courage to try to lock up a witch. How he was going to get her to sign something was the bigger problem. The girls had wanted to go with the whole 'sign this paper'-thing, but he knew that wasn't going to work, not on a cunning old witch it wasn't. He was thinking bigger, trying to outsmart the witch. He had been thinking about it the last couple of days, and figured out that the best way would be to replace her personal ink with the spelled one, and that way, she wouldn't even know it was coming. The first part was easy, coming back to the island, telling her he had been keeping an eye out for the princesses and that they were coming their way to get the ashes. She believed him. The second part was easy too, replacing the ink, he had never had an issue with sneaking around, and as far as he knew, she had no idea he had done so. The third part of the plan, though, was a lot harder. The waiting-part. Waiting for her to finally write something, to sign something, without making any indications whatsoever, that he wanted her to. He was still in a hurry, and the waiting-part made him incredibly restless. 


	5. Magic

A long time had gone by, at least it felt like it. But he came back, as he had promised. Ariel found it hard to understand how he could spend such long time on land, of course it wasn't challenging for him, but for her, only thinking about it was hard. The drought on land was unbearable, breathing the air of the forest would be like choking on desert-sand for her. Of course, she would know nothing of desert-sand, since the only kingdom she had traveled, was the ocean. Atlantica was a great kingdom, no doubt, but she had always wondered what the rest of the world was like. She had hoped to be able to experience it without the pain in her lungs, her skin. With legs of her own, seeing what else there was to it. She had almost lost hope of that, as he hadn't returned in such a long time. But as he did, a small spark of hope lit up inside of her again. But Killian came with bad news.

"I lost them, I lost the compass.. They figured me out, and spent the ashes. Left with the compass." He had been despondent, and it truly hurt her to see him like that. However, he didn't seem to ever give up. The witch had been captured, he had told her, and he had almost succeeded, getting the key to this other world. Ariel couldn't really be sad. Of course, she wanted to go there, more than anything, but the story he had told her about the boy in this world, looking for his mother.. it was all very nice, how she came back to him. They deserved that. Of course, Ariel could see how she and Killian deserved to be together too, after all these years, but she wasn't a very selfish person. She wasn't really the monster she turned in to from time to time. She was simply a good-hearted girl, wishing for everyone's good. It didn't surprise her when he came up with a new plan, he wasn't a man to give up very easily. If there was one thing you could truly be sure about when it came to Killian Jones, it was that he was a man who fought for what he wanted. And he surely fought for what he loved - which happened to be her. Perhaps he hadn't said it, but she knew he did, the way she loved him. The way she had risked her own safety, and his, only to be close to him. It was an odd kind of love, but it was real. Real and impossible.

"I need to go back." His words burnt her throat more than a roaring fire could ever try to. Staying on land for a couple of days, suffocating from the dust in the air, was nothing compared to this. Mental pain, turning in to a physical one, it was the worst pain possible. It wasn't that she didn't believe he could do it, find a way, but she didn't like him leaving her, going to a place where she impossibly could protect him, where she could impossibly know whether he was safe. She didn't tell him, however, how it hurt her to see him go again. She let him. Whatever she told him, about her pain, would make it harder for him to focus on whatever he was doing, or collecting, in the woods. He was talking about some bean, but Ariel didn't really know much about those things. Her life consisted only of things growing at the bottom of the sea, and there surely were no magical beans down there. Not that she knew of, anyway. The only magic she had, was a magic she despised, the magic she had gladly given away for a pair of legs over 300 years ago. Having that kind of a past with magic, it wasn't a subject the little mermaid was very fond of. She would like going to a world where such a thing didn't exist. It would be a relief, really, and she longed for it more than ever. It could be due to the time she had spent with him, to the way they had gotten closer than before - if possible. With him knowing what she was, and accepting it in a way she couldn't herself, it was as if they truly knew each other, and their every flaw, and that was the most beautiful thing. Knowing someone like that.

And he came back again, obviously after a lot of thinking, with a rotten bean in his hands. He had a plan, and he wasn't giving up this time either. "It needs magic, a lot of it, to get us where we want to go. It needs the purest of magic, to pull us to this other world. Ariel, you'll have to sing." He had sounded hopeful, more than so, successful, as if it was already done - as if they already was in this Storybrooke, a place where no magic existed. But she knew the effects of his proposal, she knew the risks, and she couldn't do it. She wasn't a selfish person, and she couldn't change that. Risking it all again, like she had done that one time, going way too far, wasn't something she was ready to do. She had decided never to sing again after that accident. Even if it could fulfill her wildest dreams, she wouldn't do it. Not for herself she wouldn't. But then came the begging, the loving gazes asking her to think of what it would bring them, telling her that she would never lose control with him, that she couldn't hurt him even if she wanted to. Somewhere along the way she started to believe him, she could never hurt him, could she? Even if she wasn't herself, it wasn't physically possible. So she did it. Tying herself to the rail, making sure she couldn't hurt him, she sang, with the bean close at hand, and somehow the world started spinning, the ship started shaking, and it all went black. Waking up in a place where the air was thicker, she heard his voice, calling for her. But there was something else she found in her lungs as she breathed in what felt like damaged air; small corns of sand, dust and wood. Drought. 


	6. Desperation

Finding herself lying down on a stone-like substance, she felt something stinging her fin. It was probably just the air, burning her like bees in the summer, or perhaps she had gotten hurt, in whatever way she had gotten there. But then it hit her, the fact that her fin was hurting, and she opened her eyes to find what seemed to be her worst nightmare. Screaming desperately, slamming her fists against the stone she was lying on, she hadn't even cared to notice whether Killian was there, which he later proved to be. "It didn't work! Why didn't it work?!" she screamed, with a piercing sound coming from her very powerful lungs. Somehow he found a way to comfort her; the only man who could possibly be more devastated about this than she was. So she got quiet, after seconds or minutes or hours of screaming - she didn't know how long she had been doing it. But it was like it made her numb, all the energy that had went into her desperation. Practically lifeless in his arms, she was carried along the stone-like substance, which was shaped like a big trail. He kept on walking for what felt like miles, and the girl grew tired, and sick of the air in the new world they had entered, it was worse than being on Killian's ship, going into the water now and then. Back there, the air had been humid, at least in comparison to this air. He didn't seem to notice how heavy she must be, her fin was very heavy, and long for that matter, but she didn't notice herself. Mermaids were very strong creatures, some of them considered themselves the strongest creature alive - not physically, but because of what they could do. Because of their power. Ariel had never felt a need to use it, perhaps some moments of weakness, but she definitely did not consider herself a powerful creature. She was much closer to the opposite.

She realized that she had to have fallen asleep, when she awoke and found herself in his arms in a completely different place than the last time she had checked. They were still on the ever-long stone-trail, but there were houses. People looking out their windows with confused eyes, as the pirate came carrying a mermaid through the village begging for help. She knew she needed it, but she never thought the man would beg for it. Another thing she thought she'd never see was the tears shaping in his eyes, proving that she hadn't been the only one devastated over the fact that his plan hadn't worked. It was awful, and living in this world, now seemed like a worse option than staying back where they had came from. This place was grey and cold, which wasn't something she would complain about, since heat and sunshine would be torture for her for this long a time, but it wasn't beautiful, it was dull and an odd sight for a girl used to such magic that existed where she came from. It was a world which seemed unbearable for her to live in, at least in the form she happened to be in now.

A woman, seemingly angry came out of a house, and seemed to be headed towards them. "Hook!" she exclaimed angrily, but the anger changed into confusion, as she saw the girl in his arms. The blonde girl, whose name seemed to be Swan, if Killian was right, looked right into the mermaids eyes with deep disarray in hers. "Who are you?" she asked, looking even a bit amazed, with her gaze still on Ariel. She was wondering the same thing, who this Swan-woman was, how she knew Killian, and why in the world she was so shocked by seeing her, why she wasn't scared or despiteful of her. Ariel had no time to answer before another woman came out of the same building, not looking quite as angry as the previous one. This woman had short, dark hair, and big friendly eyes. And this woman, looked like she was reacting the more sane way to the fact that Killian was carrying a mermaid into their village. This woman asked the same thing, who she was, but with a commanding tone in her voice. She was hesitant about the mermaid, and rightfully so. It was all a very confusing situation, even for Ariel, who was the one who didn't seem to belong. She didn't understand why it hadn't worked, and she was hurt, dehydrated. Her thoughts were blurry, and she couldn't think about an answer as to who she was.

"She needs water," Killian said, his voice strong again, not begging, more commanding. He wasn't begging these women, and even though this was more like him, she couldn't help but thinking he was a different person in these girls presence. More arrogant than usually, angrier, even a bit superior. It was odd, and she needed to know who they were. The little dark woman, the hesitant one, nodded violently. It seemed as if she wanted to help, even though she was fully aware of what Ariel was. "Water as in a glass of water, or a tub?" she asked, sounding almost as stressed about the matter as Killian. "Tub," the pirate answered quickly, and the woman nodded for him to follow her into the house. The blonde one, Swan, was looking angry again, hissing to Killian that 'they sure as hell weren't helping him, if that was what he thought'.

Being lowered into the tub, being way too small for her body, she didn't feel as comforted as she thought she would. She missed his arms, and the water was way too warm for her, and completely without salt. But it was water, it was wet and it was moisturizing, and that gave her some comfort, in comparison to being up in the dry air. Slowly she relaxed, and lowered her head under the water, allowing the much cleaner oxygen enter her lungs, without all the traces of dust and wood in her throat. The way the water took away the burn in both her skin and her throat, was incredibly comforting, and the way the sounds were drowned made her only hear a small part of the big fight that seemed to be going on over the surface. She wanted to go up, defend Killian against the seemingly angry women, but she couldn't bring herself to go up there again, and she was tired. She could deal with all of her horrible problems in the morning. As the mermaid breathed in water, and the wounds of her fin slowly started to heal, the world went black, and she dreamt herself back to the ocean and the glistening waves. 


	7. Innovation

Time passed rather quickly, and outside on the streets of Storybrooke, Christmas was coming, and it was obvious how the people there went all in for the holidays. However, this wasn't something Ariel would know of, since not having left the tub for days. Although it was actually water, the tub wasn't nearly enough, nor satisfying for the mermaid, and it was starting to show. Her skin was starting to flake, not to mention the scales on her fin. Her hair was once again not to talk about, and she was constantly coughing. It was not in her nature to live like this, and to go even further with the quiet complaining, not leaving the couple of square feet in the tub for days, was the most boring thing she had ever known. She didn't say anything about it, however. She would not be the selfish girl she knew she could be. Killian had come to this new world for her sake, and she would not leave him there to find an ocean, even though she needed one to survive.

As Ariel was lying there underneath the surface, watching the roof, completely reserved in her own philosophy, one of the women entered the bathroom. By know the mermaid knew her name was Snow, but at times people called her something else, which wasn't something Ariel worried about. Somehow, Snow was the perfect name for the dark-haired woman. She had also been told how Killian knew the women, and in a way she had sensed it, that these women were the princesses he had been fighting in the magical forest. They did seem to get along now, for all Ariel knew, since she didn't see very much of them. Breaking the surface, Ariel stuck her head up from the water, once again facing the striking aridness of the air. Wiping some drops of water off her face, she looked at Snow, who seemed as if she wanted to say something, but didn't know how to say it. It was incredible what this woman had done for her, since the first day she arrived, simply allowing her into her home. This woman knew what Ariel was, what she could do, and most definitely, she knew what Killian had tried to do when he had met them in the forest. But she had helped them, tried to at least, and she had talked to Ariel with such appreciation. It was as if she knew exactly what she was going though, and partially she did, she knew what it was like not being able to be with who you loved.

Finally, she opened her mouth, still looking hesitant. "You can't live like this, can you? I can see it, it makes you sick." It was simple, she made it very simple. Ariel knew she was right, but she couldn't turn her back on Killian by leaving. Silently the girl shook her head. She had gotten back to her habit of keeping quiet mostly, letting others talk to her. After learning that magic had found its way to Storybrooke, Ariel had finally understood why she hadn't changed, but she got more careful with her own magic. It was worse here, if she would let it take her over, she couldn't run from it in such a narrow space. Besides from that, she wouldn't let herself hurt Killian or the women who were now her friends, even if they didn't like Killian very much.

"I'm sorry I haven't told you, but I think it's time to. The ocean is nearby, I'm just not certain what will happen.. When we cross the borders of Storybrooke, the curse upon us is brought back, and we don't remember who we really are. But since you weren't brought here by the curse... You may remember. But then the magic which was brought here, is presumably also only within borders, and so maybe you would lose your magic, and there by your fin. I don't know.." It was obvious how Snow had been thinking even harder about this than Ariel had done herself, and the statements she made certainly got Ariel thinking. Losing her memory, could it be worth it, if it did happen to give her legs? Perhaps if they crossed the border together, her and Killian, could she be human, with him, and create new memories? After making herself dream of these very few possibilities, Ariel had to pull herself back to reality to realize that there were no guarantees. She might keep her memory, and her fin, or worse, loose her memory and keep her fin. It would be way too risky to cross the border. And there was still the fact that she wouldn't leave Killian.

"Is there a harbor?" the mermaid finally asked, with her whispering voice still sounding like the song of a singing angel. Recieving nothing but a nod from the pale woman, she felt rather determined. She could not stay in this tub anymore, and if there was a harbor, it had to be situated within the town borders. She could stay there, in water she suspected was tainted and freezing. It would still be better than tub filled with lukewarm sweet water. Anything would be better than the bathroom of this small apartment. So they made their plans, of course, she still wouldn't go anywhere without Killian knowing of it, so when he came back from where ever he had been, she had expected the angry man who had jumped in to the water when she had come back from days in the ocean, months ago. He wasn't, however, he was saddened, feeling guilty about keeping her on land. He was, however, angry about other circumstances, about where he had been, which he wasn't keen on talking about. From what Swan had told her, he was angry about the fact that the one person he truly hated was presumably the only one who could help Ariel get legs. After hearing more and more about this man, and his past with Killian, from Swan of course, Ariel learned that this man wouldn't be able to give her legs. He wouldn't be able to give her legs for good, since he was the one that had failed doing so, many, many years ago. Not telling Killian, Ariel secretly knew that there was no way out of this, at least not for the most powerful wizard there was - Rumplestiltskin.


	8. Lies

(A/N: This chapter took some time for me, and it's a bit short, but I hope you like it. I took the liberty of cutting the text into shorter paragraphs, so please let me know what you think of this, and of course the chapter. I love reviews!)

Satisfaction, encircling her body, literally in the form of cold, salty water, followed as the mermaid lowered herself into the ocean. In the bliss of the moment, she wondered why she had ever left it, how anything could ever be worth living on land for. She couldn't bring herself to prioritize him over the pure, clean oxygen the water that filled her lungs brought with it. She loved him, but being up there wasn't living for her. It was comparable to torture, having to stay up there, feeling her body burn. As the water filled her body, embraced it, she felt strong again, alive.

It was healing her, in a way the sweet water in the tub never could have. Lying on the bottom of the harbor was such a relief for the girl, she didn't have a thought of the way it wasn't deep enough or the gas leaking out from the engines. It wasn't perfect, but it felt like the best place ever to be, compared to the very long time she had spend in an incredibly small space with horrible lukewarm water. This was true happiness, she thought, not having to live trapped. It was almost saddening, how she couldn't bring herself to remember how it felt having him close to her. The surface which separated them from each other was such a fine line, yet she couldn't live above it, and he couldn't live beneath it. It was trapping them both, in places they didn't want to be, but were supposed to be. In places that felt like all they ever had asked for after simply minutes in it's contrary. It was an obsession, a need, an addiction. The most physically painful thing Ariel had ever gone through was being above the surface, facing the drought, feeling a constant abstinence from the ocean. The most mentally painful thing she had ever gone through was facing the fact that she had to live in the ocean, away from him. Away from the man who completed her.

Yet again, it could have been days, or actually, due to the weak depth, she knew it had been days. However, she hadn't counted them, but then she yet again felt him drawing her towards the surface again, like she needed to get close to him, as if he needed her to. It might have been surprising, as he stood there, on the pier, waiting for her to approach. She wanted to know how long he had been standing there, waiting for her. He looked cold, a bit weak, maybe from her being away. He looked sad, yielded, but his face lit up slightly as she emerged.

"Killian." Sighing out his name in relief, Ariel felt the strength pulling her up from the lovely water. "I missed you," she whispered. It was true, but she had also forgot about him the first hours, maybe days, as she blissfully had accepted what the ocean had brought with it. He shook his head, giving her a look, not needing to speak any words. As she lent her arms on the pier, he lay down before her, allowing her to look into his deep blue eyes. Once again, the girl found herself confused with herself, not knowing what she wanted, nor needed, the most. Him or the ocean, it was impossible to choose, in fact, having to choose would probably kill her. The heat and dryness of his lips blended perfectly with hers - cold and salty. They were made impossibly perfect, made for each other in a truly ironical way.

To her surprise, he pulled away, his tortured eyes looking away from the inhuman beauty. "I know who.." Suddenly he seemed more torn than her, tortured with the words he was about to speak. "There is someone who can help you.. He is monstrous I've been waiting to kill him for many, many years. I cannot go to him for help," Ariel interrupted him by shaking her head. "Killian," she said, grabbing his head, forcing him to look into her eyes. "He can't help me, I don't know why you feel such hatred toward him, but the curse would be broken, yet again," she said, still quietly, scared of what her voice might do to the both of them. "He was the one who cursed you in the first place?!"

Just like that, the man was angry again. He seemed to always have such deep feelings, no matter their nature. It was truly fascinating to the mermaid, who knew very little about feelings, except for the abstinence she felt for both him and the ocean, and except for the satisfaction that both of them brought her. "I asked for it, it was all I wanted back then. It still is, but.. I'm afraid there is no way. But I do not want you to go lose yourself, Killian, because he can't help me. Please. You go on ignoring his existence and keep away from him. I need you safe," she said, putting her lips to his again. Wanting him closer, scared of the strength the water had brought her, scared of the urge to pull him down with her. It was her turn this time, to pull away. Feeling the tears burn beneath her eyelids, the mermaid looked at the pirate, feeling there was no way out of this mess they where in.

"I've been thinking of leaving," she stated, once again considering all of the possibilities Snow had introduced to her. Perhaps that would be her only way out, leaving Storybrooke, losing her magic, finally breaking her curse, only to possibly create a new one. She could see it in his eyes though, the way he cringed at the thought of her exposing herself to that, at the thought of her not remembering him. It was a horrid thought for her too, but leaving didn't necessarily mean that she would lose her memory, and even if she did, they had every possibility to create new ones. "Don't," he said, voice ragged, again determined, like the day he had pulled her out of the ocean.

She promised him, looked into his eyes, and nodded as he said he would find another way. Smiling painfully as he promised her that he wouldn't give up. The mermaid gave an honest man her word, and her trust. She told him she wouldn't go, she wouldn't leave Storybrooke, that she wouldn't risk it. Lying like that to him was the most horrible thing she had ever had to do, knowing she would probably hurt him more than she thought was possible.


	9. Amnesia

Panic struck the teenage girl, as cold, salty water surrounded her and seemed to go on forever and ever. The assumed depth beneath her frightened her almost as much as the fact that the only land in her sight was extremely far away. Not knowing what was down there frightened her. She had no idea how she had gotten so far out, and she had no idea how she was going to get back in. However, she swam, with no memory of learning how to do so, towards the shore. But she grew tired, cold, and felt the energy leave her soar legs.

The water burned her throat and lungs as she tried to keep herself above the surface, and as she recognized the panic-causing feeling of her lungs not accepting the water, she didn't remember ever having experienced this before. She couldn't see anyone nearby, and it was getting foggy, but the redhead decided to scream for help anyway. She didn't recognize the weak, yelling voice of hers, and as she once again started to sink, she wondered who she was. How had she possibly ended up naked in the middle of the deep, cold ocean? Yet again, panic struck the girl, not because she was dying, but because she couldn't remember a single thing about her life. But then, a sound struck her, the sound of waves being cut by something, wood, maybe steel. It was a boat, and somehow, not because she thought she might get rescued, but for reasons she couldn't remember, the sound of a boat, midst-ocean, comforted her.

Coughing and shaking, the young girl found herself on deck of a wafter wrapped in a gray blanket. The world seemed to have that color, the waves, even the boat. The only colorful thing she could find within her sight was the bright red, wet hair, falling down her shoulders. It made her feel like she didn't belong, in an odd way. She couldn't be from around here, maybe she came from somewhere warm, she would like to think that in her freezing moment, that she was supposed to be in a warm place where the sun was shining all the time. "What's your name?" She didn't recognize that voice either, which disappointed her a bit, as if she had expected another voice as she had been lifted up on a ship.

The girl looked up, only to meet the gaze of a confused man in his forties Shaking her head before looking down at the floor again, the girl started wondering again. What was her name? "I don't.. I don't remember," she said, quietly, as if she wasn't allowed to speak up. How could she ever grown a fear of speaking up? What had possibly happened to her, to make her scared of having an opinion The possibilities of what her past might be scared her. Perhaps she had ran away, perhaps what she had lived to see had been so horrible that she had suppressed it, suppressed her entire life. Was that even possible?

"Are you hurt?" the man asked, after standing quiet in confusion for a couple of minutes, and she stopped to think if anything else than her lungs and throat was hurting. Perhaps her legs, but she had been kicking for what felt like hours, so that wasn't odd, was it? The girl stopped to look at her legs, her feet, to see if they were hurt, and at the sight of a big scar on her left foot she once again felt comfort, the comfort of seeing something familiar. Something familiar, this time being a scar on both sides of her foot. How in the world could she have gotten that scar? It had to have been something completely piercing her foot.

What scared her the most by now, was her past. Not knowing what it was, the constant wondering, it frightened her. But it also hit her that she probably didn't want to know, she didn't want to remember, or else she wouldn't have been in this situation. There had to be a logical explanation for why she couldn't remember. There was probably a reason, she wasn't meant to remember. Suddenly, the girl found herself believing that there was a purpose for why she didn't remember. There was something she had to do, she simply couldn't remember what.

The man and his wife took her in. They lived in a small house, in Portland, with two quite young children. It was homey, but she didn't feel like staying was the right thing to do. She stayed over night, getting some sleep and food, and clothes of course, before thanking them for their hospitality and leaving, not sure where to go. Step by step, the girl started walking faster, getting more used to the feeling. You could think that she should be accustomed to walking, but somehow it was an alien feeling to her. It was relieving, however, to feel the asphalt beneath her feet as she walked down that one road, looking for answers.

Finally, she found part of what she was looking for, perhaps not answers, but maybe something that would lead her towards them, something that woke some kind of reminiscence in her mind. It was a simple sign, welcoming her to a town with an odd name. The road was still very long, and very empty, but she was about to enter a town she somehow, deep in her mind, knew she had been to before. And as the redhead girl entered Storybrooke, she felt nothing different, but the fact that she might be on her way towards answers she might not even want. Walking slowly into the town she saw buildings, small houses, and strange people, looking at her in a confused way. She remembered that too, coming here, not feeling welcome, she remembered only the feeling. Not truly belonging. There were no details involved, how she had gotten there or why. Kind of like this time, she wasn't really sure why she had come there, but she knew she had to.


	10. Unfamiliar

**A/N: **So, here it is. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, partially because there is a lot of dialogue involved, and I'm not very good at that :P

Hope you like it though, and as usual, I would love to hear your opinions - so keep reviewing! :D

* * *

The city seemed stranger the further down the road she came. Her legs grew more tired, and she realized that she hadn't thought this through enough, leaving a family willing to let her stay while straightening things out, for this. A town she didn't really know, not having a place to stay. The man, making his way towards her seemed a bit strange too. Pale, with brown eyes, the short man seemed powerful, in a way, and even a bit absurd, in his way of smiling. "Interesting," he said, entwining his fingers. "Tell me, how did you do it this time?" The girl had no idea what he was talking about, and honestly, he was creeping her out a bit.

"Who are you?" the girl spoke, still not using the full capacity of her voice, looking at the man who seemed delighted with her question. "Oh you left? That's brilliant, dearie, just brilliant." He got creepier and creepier at the moment, staring at her legs in amazement. As the man took a step towards her, she took a step back - not sure what to expect of such an odd man. However, people were gathering around, and it was some kind of relief not having to be alone on the street with this strange man.

"Stay away from her!" an angry, familiar, yet a bit frightening voice yelled out, walking up to them extremely quickly. The taller man looked extremely upset as he put his hooked arm around the smaller girl protectively When he did so, the girl wormed herself out of his grip, truly uncomfortable with the gesture, and rather petrified with the hook attached to the end of his arm. With this gesture, the shorter man let out an exited laughter, seeming even creepier than before. Feeling very confused and shocked, the girl started to back away from the two men, looking as if they were about to kill each other, the taller one obviously more serious than the shorter one.

"You did this!" she heard the taller one yell before she backed into someone, the panic of doing so taking her breath away. "I'm sorry," she said, turning around to look at a pale woman with short, dark hair. "That's alright. I'm Snow," the woman said, with a friendly smile attached to her lips. Something about that seemed familiar, safe. The fact that she didn't claim her, in the way both men she had just met, had seemed to do, was also comforting. "Let's get you out of this mess, shall we?" the woman said, and the redhead did nothing but nodding and following her to an apartment, casting a last gaze towards the man with the hook on his arm. He did seem familiar.

* * *

Trying to grip the entire story, the girl felt like laughing. Her life had surely been hard, maybe even a bit strange. But the story the woman was telling her was absurd, unreal. It did seem familiar, however, but she couldn't help but thinking that her first instincts had been right, she was probably a run away, having faced too much hardships. She couldn't, however, be a mermaid from another world, who had suddenly transformed into a human who didn't remember any of it. It wasn't real.

As the man from the street, the taller one with a hooked arm and angry, deep blue eyes, walked in the door, the girl jumped in her chair. She didn't know what it was about him that scared her a bit, perhaps the way his eyes burned with anger, and how he had simply walked up and claimed her by putting his arm around her. "Hook, you need to go," Snow said, standing in front of the obviously scared girl. "I need to see her," he said, apparently not preparing to leave. It was clear to the girl that they were speaking about her, and according to Snow, she had loved this man. It didn't seem impossible, but he looked a lot older than him, and she didn't know how she would possibly forget someone she had loved.

"Let me see her," he demanded, walking past the smaller woman, sitting down in front of the girl on the chair. She had calmed down, somehow, after realizing he wasn't angry with her, seeing the way his gaze eased as it settled on her. Leaning her head slightly towards her shoulder, she looked at him, trying to remember the man. The sadness in his eyes was familiar, she knew she had seen it before. Maybe she had even felt it. Analyzing him, she had a troubled look plastered to her face. She needed to know, suddenly she needed to remember the things she hadn't been sure she ever wanted to know about.

"Hello," she said, quietly, after looking at him for a long time. He seemed somewhat taken aback by her statement, or perhaps not by the statement, but by the voice she hadn't remembered herself. "Hello," he answered, just as quietly, looking relieved for some reason. She wondered what had happened out on the street, with the shorter man, the creepy one. "Are you.. Hook?" she asked, carefully, after hearing the other woman calling him that. Once again, the man seemed surprised, but nodded slowly. "You call me Killian, though," he mumbled, hoping she would remember. Hoping it would all come back to her the moment she heard his name. "Oh," the girl stated, voice more vivid than earlier, but still not remembering.

He had spent 300 years loving this girl, perhaps he hadn't told her, but he had always known that she knew. The man wasn't sure anymore, how could she love someone she didn't know? The girl was thinking the same thing, not knowing whether they were telling the truth, had she loved this man? How could it be possible that she had ever been a mermaid. Thinking of it, she remembered the ocean, big and frightful, yet comforting. No matter how scared she had been finding herself in the middle of the ocean, it was a possible answer to how she had ended up out there.

With a tired mind, the girl put her palms on her face, only to remove them slowly. "I swear I'm losing my mind," the girl mumbled, not knowing her mind at all really. The man in front of her shook his head. "I swear, I will help you remember.. If you want me to, that it," he said, still seeming a bit unaccustomed to the situation, to speaking to her really. If they were telling the truth, his behavior was completely understandable. Acting like they had never met, if he remembered everything perfectly, had to be horrible. With that in consideration, the girl nodded slowly. "I would like that," she said, without hesitation, truly hoping she could remember, somehow, someday.


	11. Knowing

**A/N: **I have to admit I kind of tired a bit of this story as I put them in storybrooke, as I made her human. It made it lose it's magic, but guess what you guys? I think I found the magic again! Tell me what you think :D

* * *

The woman in front of her was beautiful, calm, and a nun. They were suggesting she was a fairy, and a powerful one. After all the things the girl had heard since she first arrived in Storybrooke yesterday, she had no idea what to believe anymore. The truth was that she didn't have anything else to believe in, but what they were telling her. The details were so precise that she figured they couldn't be lying. As they had come up with the idea that the fairy might be able to help her, or the nun, which was a more realistic name for the woman, she had found no reason not to try. What finally made her believe in what they were saying was the way she spoke, the nun, the fairy. She seemed magical, even for a dull nun. However, she wasn't sure she would be able to help her, without fairy-dust And so they had gone back to the apartment which Snow lived in with her daughter, who oddly enough seemed to be the same age as her mother, another factor making their story more realistic, unless the entire village was going crazy.

Hook was getting more miserable by the day. Having been in Storybrooke without remembering anything from the life they spoke of, Ariel wasn't sure she ever would, and Hook seemed to be losing his hope too. She knew she was supposed to call him Killian, like they said she always did, but she couldn't bring herself to. It suited him, his ironical nick-name, for more reasons than the hook attached to his arm. As she had gotten to know him better, the girl did feel somewhat of an attraction towards him, but what girl wouldn't find that arrogant sense of humor charming? There was no magic, the one they spoke of. There was no unbreakable bond between them, at least not one that she felt. Being honest to herself, the girl didn't feel much but confusion. The rest of them, the people she had just met, seemed to feel a lot more than she did. They seemed to feel strongly for her, most of them actually. Snow, Hook, and that creep of a short man she had seen the first day. They all had some sort of strange bond to her.

She had to admit to herself that she didn't fully understand it, what they spoke of. How he was her true love, how she had been human before, but true love's kiss had broken the curse. She wasn't sure whether she even believed it, but even if she did believe it, she didn't understand it. A kiss wasn't ordinarily something which would cause your legs growing into a fin, was it? Anyhow, she didn't believe that there was only one person out there, the one that you were supposed to be with. She believed there were many people you could love, depending on when you met them and what you made of it. Hook sure had made this into something big, the way he was moping over her not remembering. Sure, she wanted to remember, but she did think he was overreacting a bit. Considering she didn't know him, at least not in her opinion, he was being way too hard on himself over this. It wasn't even happening to him, it was happening to her.

* * *

Talking to him, however, was relieving. The way he spoke of their world, the one she supposedly came from, the stories he told of the beautiful mermaid with the heavenly voice she was afraid of using and the young man who had fallen so very deeply for her. It sounded like a fairytale it didn't sound like it was her. But he liked telling the stories, and she liked listening to them. Listening to him trying to explain something like that. Listening to his voice, really, was comforting, now that he wasn't angry anymore. Now that he was calm, a bit sad, but calm and loving. Not claiming her, not trying to convince her that she was supposed to love him, just telling her of memories she didn't have. Memories she wasn't even sure he had, stories that might not be true. But even if they were true, Ariel could never imagine such love was real. What he spoke of was magical, it was unimaginable. Beautiful, yet unreal. How he spoke of it was mesmerizing as if he had seen it, felt it. As if he still did. Hearing that, just in the sound of her voice, made her believe him slightly. Perhaps he had experienced it. Perhaps he knew what the true love they spoke of was.

She didn't know he was right, however, until he kissed her that one night. Perhaps it had been her kissing him, out of curiosity, wondering what it would be like, whether her legs would magically disappear and turn into the fin of a fish. It didn't, there was nothing magical about it, but she knew, as they stood there, pressed together by a wall in Snow's apartment. She knew he had been right all along, she knew he hadn't been lying. Although she didn't remember any more than she had yesterday, she did know he was the one. The only one. She knew she loved a man she had only known for a matter of days, she knew she never wanted him to let go of her, she never wanted to let go of him for that matter. Her body pressed against his, was as close to home as she would ever get, and suddenly she understood the rage, the moping. She understood why he had been acting so weird, and she understood the stories. They made her want to cry by now. If he had ever felt this way about that mermaid, the one they said she was, not being able to be with her, it was.. it was unimaginable for the girl. It was bloody worse than Romeo & Juliet. Having only kissed the man, she couldn't imagine a world where she was left knowing she could never be with him.

He got angry again, though, the next morning, waking up next to a woman calling him Hook. It was her, but at the same time it wasn't. Killian would never understand what leaving the town had done to her. She wasn't at all the same person she had been, she thought differently, acted differently, and she definitely spoke differently. However, she looked the same, he loved her the same. If she only would remember, he had expected her to. But it simply wasn't her. His Ariel would never call him Hook, she had known him long before that. His Ariel would never doubt him when he told her about the magic they had seen, lived in. Trying to remember that she had left for their sake, and somehow had come back without remembering why, he let the anger go, simply feeling bad for the girl, the mermaid. He did miss his mermaid. He had never thought that would be the case, but she had always been the one wanting to change for him. Living apart the way they had, hadn't been optimal, but it had been better than this, her not knowing who she was, who he was. Just like that, he was angry with her, for the first time ever, for leaving after promising not to, for making that decision without telling him about it, without considering what it would do to him. Suddenly, the pirate saw her as a selfish creature, only wanting to be human, the way she had wanted long before he came into the picture. Suddenly, he made himself believe that she had left him for herself, and not for the two of them.


	12. Torn

**A/N: **Okay, so here it is. Sorry for this slow update, but I'm not sure how to continue on this story. Therefore, I'm not sure whether this is the last chapter, however, I feel like it isn't finished. Like I'm not done with this story yet, not in a long time. We'll see how it goes. Hope you like it!

Please review! xx

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It was unbearable Just when she had learned that she couldn't live without him, without the man she barely knew, he has begun to pull away from her. They had one night together, and she felt like she had never been more certain of anything, even though she didn't remember loving him before, she knew she did know. His feelings must had been different, seeing how he left, early in the morning, and stopped coming by. When he did, on rare occasions, come by, and she found herself quite desperate for his attention, for his closeness, he pushed her away, telling her that he didn't know her. It was frustrating, he had been the one claiming her in the beginning, when she came to Storybrooke, desperate for her to remember him, for her to know him, to love him. And as she did, he didn't want her anymore. It didn't seem like it anyway. It seemed as if the man had given up. She didn't know how that worked, what he was thinking, but she was constantly analyzing him, and it did seem as if he had given up on her. He had given up on them, and although she didn't know him, that made her feel torn. She needed him to believe, somehow, she needed him to need her. Perhaps the way she was now, perhaps for who she had been, the person she didn't know.

The nun came by, the fairy, telling her she had the dust. It sounded ridiculous, when she told her the dwarfs had found these diamonds, and they had turned it into fairy dust. It wasn't real, not to her, the girl with no name, the girl who was supposed to be Ariel. But she decided to give it a chance, not believe in it really, but try it out, cause there was so much she hadn't believed in at first, and she had been proven wrong many times. Mostly because of him, because of how he had told her about this magical love, and she definitely didn't believe in it. Not until they kissed, not until she felt it. In that moment, she had just known there was magic in the world. That was why she did it, that was why she sat down and allowed the nun to throw some strange glitter onto her, that was why she closed her eyes and actually hoped that this was real. Hoped, but didn't believe. In that moment, it all came back.

Tearing her apart was the fact that there had been two completely different persons inside her. One human, realistic, pessimistic. Desperate. One magical, a mermaid, a dreamer, an optimist. As she regained her memories, she could see both of them inside herself, she could remember being human, she still was, in a way. She had legs, and as she smiled and thanked the nun, the blue fairy, she had realized she still had a voice of this world too. She had gotten exactly what she had wanted, really, when she had left Storybrooke in the first place. She had gotten her legs, the legs she had always wanted, and now she remembered who she was. Somehow, she still wasn't satisfied, knowing that this other girl, the pessimist, was still there, behind the memories. But she was happy, she had gotten this, her dream. And she got to share it with him, she hoped. She hoped he hadn't given up on her, on Ariel.

Knocking on the door at the bed & breakfast, it opened rapidly, allowing her to meet the gaze of a broken man, a tired one. It was heartbreaking, seeing him like that. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days, and yet, there was this anger. The frustration which occasionally flickered in his eyes, the one that never went away. He didn't seem to want her there, but that pained look made her understand exactly why. It had to have been frustrating, having her so close yet so far away, not getting back what he had lost. And so, he looked at her as if he wondered what the hell she was doing there, looking for him. As if she had no business doing so. Although she knew that was the pessimistic human girl he was thinking of, that was still a part of her, in a weird way. And it hurt her to know that he didn't want that person there. She had consciously made the choice to come back without her memories of him, to start over, to be able to have a life with him, and he had turned that down. He had given up on her.

"Killian," she breathed quietly, looking into those pained eyes of his, trying to restrain from throwing herself in his arms. "Don't, you don't have to try, to change," he mumbled, looking away from her, still yielded. Smiling vaguely, maybe even sadly, she entangled her fingers in his. "I'm not, it worked. I'm here." Hesitating a bit with her choice of words, with the voice of someone else, she gave in to it, pulled herself close to him, and kissed her like only she could. Minus her salty breath, minus the way his lips were constantly dry to her, minus the way he filled her with drought she kissed him like only she could. In a way, it added up to how she wasn't satisfied, in a way, she missed all the things she had hated about the two of them. She missed the way he had always seemed so human to her, so dry, so husky, warm. Perhaps she was missing how she had been, missing her voice, her magic. Her inevitable need for the ocean. It was, however, still magical. It was still the two of them, a love which seemed to never have been experienced ever, by anyone.

* * *

He seemed to understand, maybe unwillingly, he slightly denied it, not believing her words, as he pulled away. "It's not. You're not her," he said, her not believing what she heard. Not until she realized that perhaps he was missing the same things. He was. He missed the way he drowned in her, in every way possible. The way he drowned in her voice, in her breath. Her cold, salty lips on his. In lack of those things, it didn't seem possible that it was her. It couldn't be his Ariel. This was a desperate girl trying to be the one for him. This was a human girl, not remembering anything about herself. He was convinced of it. She could see it, how he was torn between the two different persons inside her, as he turned around, avoiding to look at her.

"I was nearly dead," she mumbled, noticing she caught his attention, as his lowered head rose a bit as he stood, back turned towards her. "The day you found me, when we first met. I had never thought that the water could be damaging to me. I had never thought I could drown. But I was like this, remember? Legs, no voice at all. I was dry, torn between two worlds. Of course you wouldn't know, since I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to. I didn't want you to ever know what I was. Somehow the world robbed us of that, with some ironical destiny. Please, Killian, don't let that happen again. I don't think I can ever go back, I wanted to be in your world, with you. I thought.. you wanted that too?" For once, she wasn't mumbling she wasn't whispering. She knew her voice wasn't dangerous, it even cracked, proving to her that she wasn't flawless. Her voice wasn't flawless, dangerous anymore.

He turned around, surprised by her speaking up, by her telling him about their past, and not the other way around. She was talking about the past they rarely spoke of, the beginning, the one that barely counted. The one that meant everything. The couple of days that had tied them together forever. She hadn't ever thought that she would see him again, but she had been wrong. He had been looking for her, but in the end it had been her finding him, months ago. It had been a long time since that day, when she had put them in danger, pulling him close, like she had always needed to. When he had ran his sword through her fin, causing that familiar scar on her foot. When he had dove into the water, pulling her up, telling her he wouldn't let her go again.

"I missed you," he said, quietly, with that ragged, human voice of his, pulling her into an embrace. Just like that, she felt at home. For the first time ever she could be there, with him, feeling like she belonged, she could live, without having to leave, without needing the water in her lungs so badly. Without drying up. She could love him with all of her, without loving the ocean more. Without needing it more. Nothing would ever be comparable to him again, and that made her feel like she was satisfied, for a moment. Safe in his arms, she cried quietly, salty tears reminding her of what she had given up.


	13. Realization

**A/N: **I am truly sorry about the slow update, I've been low on inspiration lately, and I'm not sure what I think of this chapter. Would love for you to review, and tell me whether this is as bad as I think it is.

Thanks for reading!

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Loving him seemed like all she could ever do, even if it was in her own, desperate way of doing so. No matter what happened she was always clinging on to him, never wanting to let go. The human part of her, the one recently discovered, was telling her it would end sometime, that these things never lasted, but somehow she knew it did. She had been through all of this. Their love had lasted for 300 years, through not knowing whether the other one was alive. Though things seemed perfect on the outside now, though they had gotten what they had always wanted, Ariel was torn. Perhaps not torn as to how she felt about him, she was sure of that, but torn as to what was meant to be. The way she had always needed the ocean, which she loathed because of just that, had changed, yet it was still there. She wasn't drying out, she wasn't suffocating, yet she wasn't herself without it. Perhaps he had always been right, the man Killian referred to as his Crocodile, saying that all magic came with a prize. Perhaps she was meant for the ocean, meant to be a monster. The monster he had loved, the creature Killian Jones had learned to love so effortlessly.

Running away at night again, if you could call it that, she felt like she was always running from him, to the ocean, and not the other way around. She had done so before, on the ship, and the way he reacted when he came back made her feel like it hadn't been worth it. Yet she did it again, when it wasn't even necessary. She walked through the dark town, which she had been told was timeless just weeks ago, feeling like she didn't belong, like they didn't belong. She found herself longing again, wanting something more, wanting both. Wanting to be human, wanting to be the mermaid she had hated being for 300 years. When the scent of salt finally reached her, she felt at home, even though she was far from it. She could almost feel the drought in her lungs, the one which had been so familiar a week ago. As she got closer she heard the waves breaking against the boats, that peaceful sound, which could be so violent at times. She could almost see her sisters causing it, far away, in another land. And it made her feel like nothing could ever keep her away from it.

Breaking the surface the vivid redhead threw herself into the water, fighting to keep herself beneath it, as her body kept floating upwards. It was a rare feeling for her, like the discomfort that reached her as she tried to breathe the water in, fill herself up with it again. It was suffocating her. It was burning, not much unlike the drought. She was drowning, and it was devastating. It was supposed to be satisfying, empowering, but it was weakening her, killing her even. Pulling herself up, as she wasn't having a problem with keeping herself down anymore, the young girl coughed up water which was mixed with the salty tears coming from her ocean-blue eyes. Realizing she would never be pleased with anything, she begun shaking, tears filling the ocean, devastation filling her.

Realization had never been so painful, and having wanted something her entire life, she didn't want it anymore. She wanted him, sure, but the ocean was.. more, in a way. It was her only home. It was her past, and she wanted it back. Ariel had always been a dreamer, and mermaids weren't supposed to dream like that, not supposed to feel the way humans did. They didn't have desires or dreams, they weren't as vivid as the humans, yet they were strong, powerful, and they only one purpose in their world. They were to stay down there, in the deep, hide the monsters they were. She had gone against that, but the desires had to have come from somewhere. Since she was a little girl she had always wanted things, deeper than any other mermaid, dreamed of seeing the rest of the world. The kingdoms on land, she had wanted to feel like they did. The humans, and as she got what she wished for, she wanted something else. It was all an evil circle.

* * *

He was vivid, as always, when she came back, soaking wet, eyes red from crying. He was angry, like he had been the last time she went into the ocean, but then he melted, just like that, realization striking him too. He wrapped his arms around the girl, who wasn't strong anymore, not magnificent for one bit, but simply weak, small - human. She felt like falling to the ground, showing herself weak in front of him like that. It wasn't her. In the same way it had bothered him days ago, it was bothering her now. It wasn't the same, she wasn't herself. She wasn't strong, mysterious, deep nor cold anymore. She wasn't salty, she wasn't magical. She was dull, grey, like this world, and she couldn't recognize herself anymore. It made her think of her father, the way he had always worried about her, told her to stay away from the humans, and their world.

"Humans destroy whatever comes in their way, they are violent and dangerous," he had said, and it had been such a long time ago, she was surprised she even remembered his words. Thinking about it, it seemed to her as if he had been speaking about their kind. About her. Perhaps he had been trying to warn her what would happen to her if she tried being like them. Maybe he had seen it all coming. He had always known those things, and he had been more deceptive than her, causing tidewater and giant waves destroying everything. When she asked him about it, he always said it was necessary, that humans thought themselves invincible and they had to be reminded they were not. Of course, he had always been like that. Considering himself better than everybody else.

He probably was, he probably saw her now, mumbling 'I told you so', to himself. He was somewhat of a god, after all, and had always wanted her to be like him, like the rest of them. And she had, partially, faced the inevitable deception which had been a part of her. It wasn't until now that she realized that she was just like them, needing the power, the magic floating inside her. Without it, she was useless, incomplete. But she would be the same without him, useless and incomplete. Had she ever been complete? Had she ever been happy? She couldn't see it now, the way they had loved each other like there was nothing else of importance in this world, or the other. She couldn't feel it here, in the place he had fought to get her to, to fulfill her dreams.

Falling asleep in his arms, still soaked in salty water from her past, she felt selfish, holding on to things she had always wanted gone. Hurting him in the process wasn't something she wanted, but it was yet another inevitable part of it all. She would simply have to pull herself together, decide where she wanted to be, choose for herself another time. Choose for him. No matter what she chose, she was miserable, and she wondered if there could possibly be a solution to it all, which led to the both of them being happy with the situation.


End file.
