Glee 1. Bottle It Up

So after bawling my eyes out at the season finale of Glee I came up with this idea of a fanfiction so I decided to start writing it, this is my first Glee fanfiction so be nice. I might get Rachel wrong I'm not sure but yeah. The title is based off the song by Sara Bareilles and all the chapters will be too even if it really isn't associated with the theme of the chapter. I hope you enjoy! :)

Hugs and Reviews

~brightlightscityscapes

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I had a usual morning routine just as I had when I was in high school; every morning I woke up at 6 am, drank my protein drink and jumped on to my elliptical and today was no different…except when I woke up to a knock at my door I knew my plans were going to be delayed.

I had just turned on my iPod when I heard the knock, "really? Who comes to someone's house at six in the morning?" I thought as I approached the door. I hadn't even had the time to change out of my pajamas, which were old fashioned with adorable polka dots on it.

I let out a yawn before opening the door and much to my dismay there is absolutely nobody outside of it not even a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates. Rude.

I let out a loud sigh before poking my head outside and shouting "I have a very solid schedule everyday and whoever you are you just put a dent in it!" and with a huff I shut the door.

I continued back to my room looking at the clock on the bedside table, it was already 6:15, "Ugh! I can't even do my work out now," frustrated I head to the bathroom where I will now take my daily shower, which I usually do after working out.

By 8 I am out the door and on my way to the local Starbucks where I will be meeting Kurt and Blaine for our morning coffee before the biggest audition of my school year: Beauty and The Beast.

You may not know this but there is nothing more important to me then musical theater and even though Belle wasn't one of the three characters I've always wanted to play or even a Barbra Streisand character but experience is experience and I, well, loved the Disney movie so it should be a fun role to play.

I walk out of my apartment and head down to wait for a taxi to pick me up, I usually chose to walk everywhere but since today was a very important audition I couldn't help but decide to rest and take a cab even though they all smelled and the drivers were extremely rude I had to take one for the team.

"Excuse me!" I shouted sticking my hand out, it was the way the other New Yorkers did it so I had been skeptical at first to try it but I got used to it. The first two times it didn't work until finally a car was nice enough to pull over so I could get inside maybe I'd get lucky and this guy wouldn't be rude to me.

"Hi! Starbucks please the one on 291 Broadway please," I tell him as I shut the door and put my seatbelt on, even though all the germs on it freak me out. I sit in silence as we drive down the busy streets and that's when I hear my phone ring. I pull it out of my purse and see that the caller is my equally talented best friend Natasha so I decide to answer it immediately.

"Hi Natasha," I answer just as the cab driver pulls over I peek out the window to see that I'm at the Starbucks, "Natasha hello?" I look up at the toll for the cab and pull out the money I have in my purse and hand it to the cab driver thanking him.

"Rachel! What size are you?" she asks, that was the great thing about Natasha, she was our costume director so I didn't have to worry about her amazing singing ability outshining me (even though there were a lot of girls at the school who were I must admit better than me) I'm just glad my best friend wasn't doing it to me.

"Size? Size for what?" I ask pushing the door to Starbucks open with my hip once inside I notice Kurt and Blaine sitting close together, whispering to each other, I flash them a smile letting them know I was there before waiting for Natasha to reply because I really needed to order my Chai Tea Latte.

"Actually we can talk about this later good luck with your audition later," and with that says she hangs up. I roll my eyes and slip my phone into my pocket before turning my attention to the barista behind the counter.

"Hi Rachel what can I get for you today?" the Barista, Max, asks me even though he knows from me coming in all the time exactly what I want.

"Venti chai Tea Latte, skinny please," I say pulling out my money and handing it to the barista with a smile before walking over to Kurt and Blaine. I cleared my throat to get their attention but they still continued to whisper, I cleared my throat once more before I heard my name being called at the pick up counter.

"Oh Rachel! I thought I heard your voice," it was Kurt looking up at me, I just gave a quick smile before sitting down and pulling up close to the table very tentative to what was going to happen next.

"Rachel there is something we need to tell you," Blaine begins giving a quick smile to Kurt pretty much telling him to finish.  
"We are going to finally get married!" Kurt finishes clapping his hands together and beaming at me, I felt my mouth drop open with surprise and then I felt my face begin to get hot, the word wedding draining the color out of my face. Blaine and Kurt exchanged a worried look before turning back to me.  
"I'm so happy for you guys really...but look at the time! I'm gonna be late for my audition, I'll see you guys later," and with that I pushed the table away from me and nearly ran out the door trying my hardest to keep from crying.  
Weddings were something I avoided; it was something I avoided almost as much as I avoided the name Finn.


	2. Basket Case

Already so happy to have story alerts and a review! So excited to continue with this story! I have so many great ideas but sometimes my writing gets really messy and rushed which might be what this chapter is but I once I start writing I know I shouldn't stop, I've learned from past experiences trust me, but yeah here is chapter two hopefully chapter three will be up tomorrow!

Hugs and reviews!

~brightlightscityscapes

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I made my way into the auditorium shaking, I couldn't get the word wedding out of my head and honestly it was awful. I tried to avoid weddings as best as I could but I knew I couldn't avoid it forever.

'Rachel suga' I am so glad you are here…but aren't you a little early?" it was Natasha coming from behind the stage she was probably coming from the dressing rooms downstairs.

"Early? No…wait aren't there other people here?" I ask looking around realizing the auditorium was actually empty.

"Of course there are other people here, Rebecca Johnson is in the warm-up room if you want to go there to start warming up," Natasha tells me as she picks up a fake phone off the stage floor she then looked up at me, "you seem very off focus are you okay?' she asks if anyone here at NYADA knows me it's Natasha. She was my absolute best friend here in New York, well besides Kurt and Blaine but they have each other so I have Natasha.

"I don't really want to talk about it I don't want to lose my focus too much, we'll talk later alright?" I say before heading out of the auditorium and began towards the warm-up room.

I walk into the warm-up room and I'm not surprised to see that Rebecca was the only one currently inside. She stood over the piano, a man, who I believe was her boyfriend, was sitting on the stool running scales for her to warm up to. When she noticed me come in she gave me a smug looking before whispering something to her pianist, he then stops the runs and closes the piano taking a drink out of the water bottle that was sitting atop the piano.

"Well if it isn't Miss. Rachel Berry," she begins walking towards me, if there was anyone in this school I was jealous of it would be Rebecca and Victoria DiMaggio, a girl who was completely humble and very modest compared to both Rebecca and I which just made her amazing talent stand out a lot more.

"Good morning Rebecca, how are you today?" I say walking over to the piano on the opposite side of the room and immediately I feel my face begin to drain of color, I didn't plan for an accomplice to play piano with me, well I mean I did, he just didn't know about it yet.

"I am great, nobody is here yet and by nobody I mean Victoria, because, we all know she is the only competition I have," she gives me a sneaky and quite venomous smile before sashaying back to her piano playing boyfriend.

I wait a few minutes before running out of the warm-up room and back to the stage where I know Natasha would be.

See Natasha was a lot more than she seemed, she was extremely talented and not just in the behind the scenes thing, she was a very talented musician and singer, so if anyone could play piano last minute for me it would be her.

I run down the stairs to the dressing room where Natasha is alone looking at a very intricate yellow ball gown, one of the costumes for Beauty and the Beast, I can't help but gawk at it.

"Wow, that dress is amazing," I blurt suddenly feeling embarrassed; Natasha nearly drops the dress that's how startled she is by my lack of introduction.

"Rachel! You know you aren't suppose to be down here," she says hanging the dress back up on the shelf before turning her full attention to me, "but since you are already breaking the rules what can I help you with?" she asks her Texas drawl coming out with all the words and I can't help but smile.

"I don't know how I did it but I forgot to ask Blaine to play piano for me for my try-out today," I tell her walking backwards and out the door; she follows in front of me.

"And let me guess you want me to play for you?" she asks flipping the light switch off to the dressing room; I nod my head with a smile throwing my hands together in a pleading way.

"Yes please! I know you are an amazing piano player and I know you're good at sight reading so I just assumed playing the song for me wouldn't be a challenge for you," I can tell she's making a decision because she's staring at the floor instead of looking at me, something's were easier to remember about a person than others.

"What song is it that you are singing?" she asks finally looking up at me, "On My Own, from Les Miserable's," I tell her and again she goes into her decision making stance.

"I'll do it, but you now owe me lunch," she decides linking her arm in mine, "and I know you are a vegetarian and I just can't handle that so we'll have to go somewhere with both meat and vegetarian meals alright?" and with that I know I got her where I want her and I couldn't be more happy.

* * *

"So how did the audition go after I left?" Natasha asks once we finish taking our orders, I just look down at my hands as I remember the acting portion of the audition. In my opinion I think it went good, I didn't choke or anything like that but for the teachers in charge of choosing the cast I'm sure it wasn't that good.

"I think it went alright but the last time I thought that I didn't even get chosen as an understudy for the lead role, I got stuck in the chorus which was okay but I want to be a lead! I want to be seen!" I cry with a little too much drama because Natasha starts to laugh at me right before taking a bite out of her bread.

"I'm so sorry Rachel but that was funny," and all of a sudden she begins to trail off staring at something behind me she then starts to wave, I fight the urge to turn around because I'm sure she's waving at someone I don't even know, "Blaine and Kurt are here and a really cute tall guy is with them."

I turn my body so quickly my whole glass of water falls to the ground and shatters, Natasha quickly jumps up shouting for a waiter to come and help us. I quickly grow embarrassed and that's when I see him staring at me, Finn. After not seeing each other or even talking for two years, I'm sitting inside the same restaurant as him in the same city, in the same state we were once suppose to be in together.

I begin to lose my complete focus I don't even hear Natasha behind me calling my name it isn't until the waitress who cleaned up my cup taps me on the shoulder that I even break out of my spell.

"Rachel are you okay sugar? You're starting to seriously freak me out," she says reaching to put her hand on my hand, I pull away finally looking up at her tears filling my eyes.

"That man with Kurt and Blaine, he was my finance," I begin remembering the memories I had tried so hard to push out of my mind, "we broke up right before I came here he joined the army…he was my first love."


	3. Not Alone

Shortest chapter thus far, I want to use chapter four to explain what happens at work and the surprise she gets there...which isn't something she really wants to deal with. ;)

But yeah thanks for all the alerts and things I appreciate it so much!

Hugs and reviews!

~brightlightscityscapes

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"There are something's you have yet to tell me Miss. Rachel Berry," Natasha says once we reach my apartment, I unlock the door feeling sick to my stomach. Everything I had been trying to avoid is now coming back to me all at once and it was something I was not expecting.

"I was hoping to never have to deal with it again that's why I never said anything about him…about us," I say throwing my keys into the bowl next to the door, I then head to my bedroom where I leave my purse.

"You're going to have to deal with the past eventually especially when you're still good friends with the pasts step brother," Natasha says before flopping on the couch, I lean against the whole and we just stay there quietly until I hear Natasha's phone ring, "Hello? Oh hey Blainey! Yes I am with Rachel still what's up?" My ears perk up at the sound of my name and I go to lean over the couch where Natasha is sitting.

"Mhm…yeah I will totally be there! So will Lucas of course he absolutely adores you guys," Natasha says into the phone, she looks up at me and tilts the phone off her ear and covers the receiver, "Blaine and Kurt are having a dinner Friday to discuss wedding plans so you better be there since you are apart of the wedding party," Natasha winks at me before putting the phone back to her ears, "Mhm oh yes! I've already discussed dresses with Kurt and I can't tell you how excited I am to see Rachel wear it and Mercedes," She continues with more "mhm's" before finally hanging up.

I move from leaning on the couch to sit on the couch beside Natasha who hangs up the phone and jumps up rather quickly to go and grab her purse from the floor.

"So what should we do now?" I ask reaching for my iPod's docking station remote I turn it on to my Broadway playlist and mouth the words to the song while I wait for Natasha to come back.

"Okay so I think red will look really good with yours and Kurt complexion so with his help we decided to go with red," Natasha tells me as she opens up a huge bridal magazine, Natasha loved clothes especially dresses or anything showy.

I look over her shoulder at the many different bridesmaid dresses on the page all different shapes, cuts, lengths, they all seem amazing but not something I really care about ever since my own wedding planning ended badly.

"Ah here it is beautiful isn't it?" she hands the magazine to me so I can look at the dress on the page and I'll admit it is a stunning dress perfect for both Mercedes and my body type but the red color reminds me so much of Nationals…before we graduated…before everything between me and Finn ended everything. I quickly threw the magazine back into her hands she looked at me with a confused look before sitting up.

"Better go get ready, it's almost 3 and the doors open at 6 so we have to be there at 4 to start taking tickets," Natasha says stretching, see that was another thing I had to thank Natasha for was getting me a job at the theater she worked at where they were currently showing Wicked, we got tickets for shows half off all the time and it was a great way to meet celebrities, even though it usually only lasted two minutes and you didn't get to take photos with them but still.

"I forgot I worked today with all the excitement going on," I say sarcastically as I head into my bedroom I can hear Natasha laughing from the couch.

"Get over it! We'll go get some drinks after work maybe that will cheer you up!" Natasha yells as I shut the door, I don't know what will cheer me up just yet but talking about a wedding will not be it.


	4. City

Here is number four! I hope you guys enjoy! I had to write it quickly so it's a little short but I'm really excited to get to the other chapters which is filled with a lot more Finchel rather than just Natasha and Rachel, which is a character that I absolutely love writing for because she has a lot of depth to her and I just wanted to introduce a new original character because Rachel Berry needs some friends!

Hugs and reviews

~brightlightscityscapes

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Chapter Four

"I hope you enjoy the show," I say as I hand a women with a fussy child her ticket she nods me a quick thanks before pulling the child into the theater. I sigh once she is gone and look over at Natasha who is busy flirting with an older gentlemen I hear her say "enjoy the show" with a weird giggle before she walks towards me.

"I think that was the last of them seems pretty clear now so how about we head inside to see if there is anything else we can do," Natasha says trying to move out of the box when I hear a taping on the glass.

"Oh it's Kurt and Blaine!" Natasha gushes before running to open the window open, "hello fellas," she says with that obnoxious flirting thing I move towards her when I notice someone looking into my own box; Finn.

He waves at me to open the window and immediately I'm unsure if I want to talk to him but it is my job and I could get into trouble for not opening it.

"Hi Rachel we didn't really get to talk much earlier," Finn says leaning on to the counter I wince back a little bit trying to keep my space he just grins at me and I can't help but look at all his little details; the red of his cheeks, his brown eyes and his beautiful smile. I can still see the image in my head of when he gave me the beautiful engagement ring inside of the auditorium I then thought about the ring that was now sitting in the box in my dresser somewhere. I remembered all the nights I cried about it, all the nights I sat looking out the window wishing he was there with me, there with his arm around me.

"Rachel you are staring at me and it's kind of starting to freak me out," he says to me pulling me out of my reverie, I shake the thoughts away before giving him a smile.

"I'm sorry, just a lot of things to think about," I tell him looking over at Natasha who was still talking with Blaine, I quickly look up at the time on the clock on the wall, "Natasha, the show starts in 15 minutes they really need to get in there," I say hoping no one, especially not Finn, would notice how badly I wanted to leave.

"Oh you're so right! Here are your tickets gentlemen," Natasha hands Blaine three tickets for the play and I'm so happy to see them leave except for some reason Finn isn't moving away from the window.

"I really hope things don't stay as awkward as they are right now because I would really like to catch up," and then just like that he is gone and out of my sight but the thought of our wedding that never came was stuck in my mind and so was the boy I think I was always going to love.

"Okay so since you're still under age I'll buy the alcohol and then I'll bring the glass to you and we'll have an amazing time!" Natasha tells me squeezing my arm and I try to pull myself away but her grip is too strong. I don't drink and I haven't drank since I was a junior in high school and it didn't end well at all.

"Look Natasha I think I'm just gonna go home I'm not really in the mood to drink," I say getting into the cab that just pulled over for me Natasha gets me a sad look before following behind into the cab.

"Fine but you'll have to go out with me this weekend alright?" Natasha puts out her pinky I link mine with it and smile, "I'm going to 123 Atlantic Plaza please," she tells the cab driver before leaning back and shutting her eyes.

"And also 52 City St," I tell him leaning to rest on Natasha's shoulder I close my eyes when I begin to hear her laugh.

"He's totally still into you," she says suddenly, I quickly move my neck off her shoulder to give her a look of confusion.

"We have seen him twice how can you make that assumption so soon?" I ask she just shrugs and moves her body to stare at me.

"Because I was able to see the way he looked at you at the restaurant you didn't because your back was to him," she says matter-of-factly and I can't help but laugh at her.

"Nothing is ever going to happen between Finn Hudson and I," I say with such emphasis on the nothing and the ever hoping she would get the point she just sighs loudly just as the cab comes to a stop in front of the familiar apartment buildings that Natasha called home.

"We are here," the cab driver says Natasha begins to dig and her purse to find her cab fare she hands it to him and then looks at me with a stern look.

"Listen to me, if something is to happen it will happen…I was once told that if two people are meant to be together they will be so if he comes and wants to take you out on date please say yes," she leans and gives me a kiss on my forehead before getting out of the car and heading up towards the front of her apartment building.

On the way home I couldn't help but hear the words she had said to me repeat over and over again, _if two people are meant together they will be, _maybe there was a reason Finn had come back and not just because it's Kurt and Blaine's wedding…what if.


	5. One Sweet Love

Together again.

So I have a fifth chapters it's been taking me awhile to get to this next chapter but I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to end this chapter so I can lead to the next but I have an idea now. :)

Hugs and Reviews!

Brightlightscityscapes

* * *

I heard a knock, I ignored it, the knock at the door got louder, I still ignored it. I was seriously tired and didn't want to wake up which to be honest is not like me but I could sleep in every once in a while right? I'd still work out just a little later.  
I closed my eyes and tried to shrug it off when I couldn't take it any longer the knocks had gotten louder and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep through it.  
I pulled myself out of bed and slipped on my robe that was hanging on the back of my bathroom door, whoever it was would just have to deal with my morning breath even though it was seriously unprofessional.  
Aggravated I pulled the door open putting on a smile.  
"Hey Rachel, Kurt gave me your address so I just decided to come over to see you," my smile dropped and my stomach almost exploded, remember what Natasha said I told myself, remember her wise words.  
"Sure come on in, let me just go get dressed and then we can talk," I say holding the door open for him, he comes in and just stands in the middle of the room awkwardly.  
"Wow it's really nice," he awes looking in the living room and kitchen, I smile.  
"Well you know my dads they only want the best for their only daughter." I tell him going into my bedroom and shutting the door. I threw my closet door open and began to search through all my clothes why all of a sudden did I start to care what I wore around Finn Hudson? He used to love me the way I was. But now it was different, now I found myself looking for a shirt that didn't have a print on it and actual jeans.  
I got dressed and then ran into the bathroom to start brushing me teeth and cleaning my face before even thinking of applying any kind of make up, which would be makeup NOT tested on animals thank you.  
Once i'm done I look at myself in the mirror for about 10 minutes before finally deciding to leave my room and heading out to breakfast with Finn.

"So has NYADA been treating you?" he asks once we've ordered our order of French Toast at this fancy pancake house. I normally ate only oatmeal or a bagel and coffee in the morning but Finn convinced me other wise, a power he's had over me for a long time now.  
"It's been pretty good, I've learned a lot, especially how to take criticism and I also learned I can't be the lead all the time...I actually haven't been the lead in a play at all yet," I smile and he smiles back.  
"I'm proud of you Rachel, the army was much different even though I never actually went into battle I learned a lot about the importance of life," Finn tells me and I can't help but remember our final days of high school when his acceptance into the Actors Studio was denied and how devastated he must have pretended to be. He never knew what he wanted except to get an honorable mention for his father.  
"Did your father get an honorable mention?" I ask remembering one of the reasons why he joined the army; he gave me a look that probably meant the talk of his dad was a sore subject.

"Not yet but they'll give in eventually and do it," he tells me just before our food comes, I stare at the pancakes not really hungry.

"So what about you…how are your dads?" he asks between chews, I can't help but feel a warmth towards him kind of like old times, I wanted to reach out and kiss him.

"They are good, they are going to be coming to the wedding so you'll be able to see them and I actually haven't seen them since Christmas because I've been so busy," I tell him trying to keep the conversation going as we eat even though I do a bad job at doing it because I don't really like pancakes.

"Is there anything else I can get for you two?" the kind waitress acts waiting next to the table, I look up her thinking of something I want.

"Yes can I have some fruit please?" I ask coming to realize once and for all that I probably will not be eating the rest of these pancakes.

"Yes of course, anything else?" she asks, I look at Finn who shakes his head, "Nope that will be all," I tell her she nods and walks away.

"So um…there is a musical coming up soon and I am hope to get a lead role," I tell him, I've never been at a loss of words with him at least not since we first met and we had dated since then.

"That's great! You're a great performer Rachel I'm sure you'll get the part and if not there will always be other parts to get," Finn says and it reminds me of before and how good he was at telling me the stuff he knew I'd want to hear.

"Thanks Finn really and I know what you mean it's hard to get a lead part especially when you are an underclassmen rather than someone who has been there for a really long time," I admit shrugging my shoulders, "I take what I get and just hope for the best and like you said there is always next time."

The waitress comes to drop off my fruit and we finish eating our breakfast and head out of the restaurant.

"I have to meet Natasha for some kind of fitting so I guess I will see you Friday night," I lie wanting this awkward moment to end just a little bit.

"Oh right got it…look Rachel I really want to be friends again and I'm hoping we can hang out again sometime before the wedding," Finn smiles at me and I beam back at him, I'm sorry he has always been my weakness and right now is not at all different.

"I would love that," I say before my cab pulls forward and I begin to step towards it, "You know where my house is and um let me see your phone, I have a new number so let me give it to you," he hands his phone to me and I press through it my hand shaking just a little bit.

"Thanks Rachel, I'll talk to you soon," I get into my cab and I tell the driver where to go as he begins to drive off I allow myself to relax against the back seat when I feel my phone vibrate.

1-(330) 698-4565: You looked beautiful this morning and I am really glad you decided to go with me to breakfast.

I felt my self scream and then stop quickly staring at the cab driver in the review mirror who was looking at me with a confused look.

"Let me guess that guy who you were just with told you that he had a nice morning with you," the cab driver guessed with a smile.

"Yes, yes he did," I smile back at him trying to figure out what exactly to say to Finn all I know is that I haven't felt this way about anyone since what happened with us before.

This was bad…very very bad.


End file.
