Harry Potter Unsorted

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but I do own Alex. **

Alex trudged towards the stool muttering under her breath the whole time. Judgemental, narrow-minded bigoted bastards.

Once the sorting hat was safely on her head, she felt the uncomfortable presence of something prodding at the edges of her consciousness.

"Oh my..." The sorting hat wasn't quite sure he's ever sat the head of someone quite so furious, and certainly not at him.

"Damn straight mister, I did not freaking come all the way to this place in the middle of nowhere just for someone, and a hat at that, who knows nothing about me to put me into your stereotyped little boxes, and get a label slapped on my forehead that'll define me for the rest of freaking life." She grounded out.

The sorting hat didn't really know what to say to that. "It's not quite that judgmental, I'm just looking for the house that shares your most defining trait."

Alex hadn't known that it was possible for her 11year old self to feel any angrier than she already was, but apparently it was. She nearly pulled the hat off her head but realized that she wouldn't be able to talk properly with it then and instead opted for an awkward upturn of her head. She bristled, "Not judgemental, not judgemental!? So what if my most defining trait doesn't fall in your pathetic houses huh? Hell, what if I share all the houses' defining traits equally, then what!? This whole sorting business is so outdated and discriminatory I don't even know why you guys think it's a good idea!"

"Um..." The hat had the decency to look remotely guilty.

By now the eyes of the great hall were all strained on this sorting. In all her years as the headmistress, Minerva has never seen the sorting hat's face contort into as many expressions as it had today, and neither has she seen a student that muttered more than this one.

"Well if we don't sort students into houses, however will we run the school? How will we award points, play quidditch matches?" The hat asked.

Without trying, he sensed the girl's unbridled rage and indignation rise.

"For the love of god...fine, you know what, fine. Let's assume you guys are incapable of running a school without something as pathetic as houses. You could sort us by our GPA, by age, by year, by gender, by career aspirations, by magical alignment, hell by blood type. I don't know, just something that doesn't presumptuously dictate our personality profile for the rest of our entire freaking lives!" She raged on. Then she stilled as she felt what the sorting hat was thinking and launched into another tirade.

The poor sorting hat never sat long enough on a student's head to realize that the telepathy apparent went both ways.

"Oh no you don't, you were just thinking that my use of big words and logic seemed rather Ravenclaw of me didn't you!" She growled.

The shift in character was immediate, the hat shuddered at the sudden unrestrained vengeance that flooded his senses. The hat's tip deflated even more visibly at the threat the little one visualized for him, he had no doubt she would go through with it too. And as he wondered if it was even healthy for an 11year old to have such a morbid mind, he noted how very Slytherin she was.

Sensing his thoughts, Alex sighed in resignation. The hat wondered if she had given up.

Meanwhile Alex wondered how she could make the hat understand, she was a complete person. Not a house.

It was then she decided, if she couldn't get through to the hat with her words, she would just show him.

The hat was greeted by the unfamiliar scene from a muggle movie. He saw a bastardized version of the muggle take on Saint Nicholas, and a boy with peculiar hair that he didn't recognize.

_"Yes big eyes! Because they are full of wonder. That is my centre. It is what I was born with, eyes that have always seen the wonder in everything! Eyes that see lights in the trees and magic in the air. This wonder is what I put into the world and what I protect in children. It is what makes me a guardian, it is my centre. What is yours?" _

The hat was then assaulted simultaneously by an unparalleled sense of awe and inspiration that only an 8 year old was capable of. A hint of steel determination peeked through as the young child's decided on her life's aspiration. She would find a way to share the same awe she felt in this very moment with as many people as she could in the world, she would inspire. That was her centre.

Then the scene shifted. And the hat was bombarded by pieces of memory that made up her dreams in life, an unquenchable curiosity that wanted to see all the mysteries and wonder in life, an ambition so strong that it was amazing one so young was the driving force behind it, stubborn bravery to stand up for what she believed in, immutable loyalty to friends and family...but there was more, a great sense of love for world...and rage, sadness, acceptance, compassion...

The coherency of the thought was lost at this point and the hat simply felt. Finally the rush of memories and feelings came to an end, and the hat sensed a slight exhaustion creeping into the girl's mind.

"Humans are peculiar creatures," Alex uttered with a soft smile and wisdom beyond her age. She could feel the hat's agreement and so she continued. "We are sort of like Schrodinger's cat. Capable of possessing equally conflicting characteristics at the same time." The hat hummed in agreement. "I don't disagree that everyone needs a defining trait. But what that trait is should be defined by us, not our parents, not the school and most certainly not you. We are still so young, we have our entire lives to find that centre that makes us who we are. It can be loyalty, or bravery, or curiosity, or ambition. But it can also be compassion, greed, peace and a million other things out there. You can't, you shouldn't, dictate a label for us to grow into for the rest of our lives."

The hat, now fully comprehending, no, fully sympathetic to the girl's thoughts acquiesced.

For moment, hat and girl sat in silence, basking in their mutual understanding amidst the loud whispers that have now plagued the great hall.

Longest sorting in Hogwarts history, they whispered, even longer than that of Harry Potter's.

Then the hat felt it, the girl's intention. And he was both relieved and saddened. "I'm sorry it has come to this."

"I know, me too" she said softly. But her mind was made up. Conviction running strong in her, Alex gingerly reached up and pulled the hat off her head and laid it on the now abandoned stool.

At the last moment however, just as the fabric of the hat met the wood of the stool, the sorting hat, unable to simply let the girl relinquish her magical education at Hogwarts over a failed sorting exclaimed a word he never thought he would.

"Unsorted!"

Exclamations of indignation rose at once in the great hall. Even Mcgonagall spluttered. "What is the meaning of this!?"

"There will be no sorting for this girl...or any other child for as long as Hogwarts shall live. At least. Not by me" the hat proclaimed.

And then...chaos ensued.

Weeks later, Alex strolled into the great hall to take a seat at the Ravenclaw table.

She had accidentally made Hogwarts history...but looking at the happy faces of her fellow school mates. She felt that it was worth it.

After the failed sorting, the unsorted students were given a fifth table and temporary dorms while the headmistress had a long talk with the sorting hat.

The following day, an announcement was made, sorting would henceforth be abolished in Hogwarts and whilst the houses will remain, mostly to pay homage to the four founders, students will now be able to choose their respective houses according to the house visions drafted by the head of houses, which will from then on be included in the Hogwarts letter. Existing students were also given a one-off chance to change their houses if they felt that they were more suited for another house.

At first Minerva was uncertain what would happen now that housing was a matter of personal choice, but to her surprise. It had worked out beautifully.

Due to the nature of sorting, all houses already had uneven number of students to begin with, now that students were given a choice, the numbers had actually started to even out. Whilst many of the older students remained in their houses, a considerable few still took up the offer and moved houses, mainly to be with their friends.

Slowly, students stopped regarding each other as Gryffindors and Slytherins but as wholesome individuals. House rivarly continued, but stereotypes were far less rampant and interhouse friendships blossomed.

As for the sorting hat, it retained its name, purely for memento's sake, and instead is now Hogwarts' resident counselor for troubled student. After all, nothing like a good bit of mind reading to help get into the crux of an identity crisis. His counsel surprisingly popular amongst the graduating 7th years who often floundered about their career after graduation. And the children certainly surprised him, he had Slytherins who aspired to be nurses and Hufflepuffs aiming for a political career. At these moments, he will always think back to the words of that little girl whose head he sat upon all those years ago.

Alex had gone on to be the first person to integrate magic with muggle technology to create a magical emporium that now housed the Weasely's Wizard Wheezes. Whilst her use of magical technology was deemed trivial by many,her example inspired many others and soon the hospitals began including muggle practices and the wizarding world saw tremendous advancement everywhere.

With the great acceptance and high demand for muggle technology and expertise, muggleborns and half bloods were no longer looked down upon. Idea of democracy and equality took grip and magical creatures were given much better rights. History and advancements now co-existed. Lyncanthropy finally met its demise at the combined forces of magic and genetics.

Alas, the magical world was not a perfect place, but it was no longer a stagnant society and was instead bustling with life and progress.

Population was on the rise and the magical community that was once on a decline no faced the dangers of extinction.

And to think, all they had to do was retire a silly looking old hat.


End file.
