Dragon Age 1. Chapter 1

_I do not own any of the characters. I did not give my Hawke a name. I want you guys to imagine your Hawke's or maybe yourself in these stories:D Do not worry, I will make a sexy Fenris one as well. Look, fan-girls can get the best of both worlds! Enjoy! Let me know what you guys think please. Feedback is always appreciated. I am sorry if my grammar sucks butt. I am working on that atm._

_This is an Anders fiction_ for_ the time. I decided to make him a little...sexy. He has been resisting the temptation for a long time, but here and there is will have his slip ups. _

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It had been a long night for everyone as they all filed into the Hangman tiered and worn out. Hawke decided to help Aveline with some of her problems. Lately, a lot of guards have gone missing and Aveline wanted her and the gang to check it out. She would have done it herself, but lately she has been to busy trying to court Hawke stretched her arms overhead and grimaced as her muscles screamed in protest against the pull. A small grunt escaped her lips as she heard a loud popping noise come from her shoulders.

"Here, let me," a voice said as warm, firm, but gentle hands rested upon her shoulders. Before Hawke could protest or pull away, a cool sensation began to trail itself into her muscles. A small moan of approval slipped past her lips as the pent up tension of her sore muscles began to quickly melt away. That is what happens when you are a rouge. All that moving around quickly, and all that sneaking can take a toll on you once in awhile. Not to mention, it does not help any matters that you have mabari war hound taking up half of your bed while you try to sleep

! Her head fell back a little as a deep and contented sigh made itself known as his fingers began to gently massage her. By the Maker did it feel good! According to Fenris, we should have let the templars catch him. Mages are a danger to us all, especially an apostate with the law after him. But this is one of those sweet moments where she was glad she did not listen to him. Wasn't it handy to have a healer at your disposal or what!

"Ah, Anders, that feels so damn good. Maker..." She could not even finish what she was saying before another groan slipped from her lips. A low, almost inaudible sound came from him as his hands began to ever so slowly wander lower. Ah, he just got closer to the edge. Just a little bit more...She jumped a little as she felt his warm, and spicy breath against the back of her ear. Maker as he close! She did not even notice in how close he was to her! Him being this close to her made her uncomfortable but at the same time...

Before anything else happened, it was over. He gently pushed himself away from her and cleared his throat. " Your shoulders should feel much better now Hawke." She moved her shoulders around in circles and was pleased by the feelings of absent knots and soreness. "Mmmm, thank you Andrers. I really appreciate it. Your hands have...a magical touch to them." "By the Maker...", Varric snorted as he walked past the two. "Hawke, that was just bad. Bad is in...just bad. You have been hanging with Isabella to much! Just shag him and be done with it!"

" Varric, I could not have said it better myself!" Isabella said with a chuckle as she took a seat in corner by the rear. She always liked sitting in the farthest corner possible. She claimed it was because she felt suffocated with so many people around. In reality, it was because she did not want to be seen and what better place to not be seen then the back?

Besides not being able to be seen, it gave her the advantage to see and watch other people. I guess being a pirate for so long kinda made you paranoid in some watching your back. Avoiding perverts and people who wished to drive a knife in you back simply because you pissed them off. In all honesty, it was somewhat of Isabella's fault for causing herself to be paranoid. If she would just stop being a cock tease and a whore, she would not have to worry about half the things that she does.

Hawke smiled and giggled as this as she turned her attention back on Anders. She turned herself around so she could face him. Lately, she has found amusement in teasing him. She did not know what it was, or what drove her to this, but she wanted to see how much he could resist her before she drove him to his breaking point. Some part inside of her enjoyed this little game she was playing with him. Cat and Mouse if you will, or maybe it was more of Cat and Tiger.

Whatever it was, she enjoyed it. She enjoyed seeing him slowly lose himself to her. Was it the thrill knowing that she was his object of desire? That only she could bring him to the edge? Or was it because she has been slowly developing feelings for him ever since...well...ever since Fenris left her that fateful night. That night...A sinking feeling settled in her chest at the thought of it. She quickly dismissed the painful memory and focused on the the reason was, she wanted to push and push until he broke. Make him take a bite of forbidden fruit. But most of all, to see what kind of man he was holding back from her.

She winked as her tongue seductively moistened her lips a little. Slowly her finger began to snake up and down his chest. Anders gulped as his face began to turn a pink color as he clenched and un-clenched his fists. She could feel the desire writhing underneath her skin. She could feel how his heart instantly quickened underneath her touch. The smell of his lust and wanting surrounded him.

His muscles were tense and coiled like a serpent ready to strike at any moment now. Before Hawke knew what happened, Anders roughly grabbed her arm and dragged her outside and away from the others. Once outside, he released her arm and turned his back away from Hawke. Stunned by what just happened, Hawke just stood there for a moment to collect herself. But before she could even do anything of the sorts, her whole body was roughly shoved against the wall and pinned there by a muscular body.

She gasped as Anders placed an arm on either side of her head and brought her face so close to hers that she could feel his breath against her cheek. She was trapped, but she liked it. "Hawke",he began as he kept his gaze matching hers," I do not know what your doing or why your doing it, but it needs to stop. I have been trying to resist you time and time time I resist you, you just make it harder and harder for me. I will not be able to help myself for much longer. Sooner or later, I will take you."

_I will take you. _

That one simple phrase just rang in her ears as she just stared at him dumbly. A swirl of emotions stirred inside of her at this thought. Anger, fear, curiosity, desire, but most of all, rebelliousness. This was a challenge to her. It had to be. He wasn't serious, was he? Was she closer to pushing him over then she thought? Whatever it was, it was not going to come to that.

" Are you threatening me? I would love to see you try", she said matter of fact as she raised her head to him in defiance. I won't let him see how much his words affected me. She began to push his arm away as she began to move out from underneath him. " Now if you will excuse me, I must-" She was cut off short as her body was slammed up against the wall hard. A hand was wrapped around her throat and squeezed. Her fighting instincts began to kick in as the hand began to squeeze a little harder. But, something inside her told her to stay where she was and let this play out.

Something inside of her_ liked _ having him take charge and dominating her. He wasn't choking her, far from it in fact, but he was actually being a little..forceful with her. Anders brought his face so close to her ear, that if he wanted to, he could easily nip and pull the soft skin there. He roughly pressed his hips against hers as A gasp danced from Hawke's throat. She felt his bulge against her. Was he really this aroused Maybe she pushed him to far. Doubt started to swirl her mind.

She did not know if she was ready for this. Was she ready for this next step? Could she handle another heartbreak? So many thoughts were jumbling together in her head. He was to close but to far away! She wanted to run and push him away, all the while she wanted him to keep his promise and take here _now._ He moaned from her gasp as he pressed himself against her harder. She could not think. She could not breathe from this!

Her eyes began to flutter when he began to whisper in her ear. "Hawke, you have been teasing me countless of times. Justice and I both feel like you are challenging us almost. Justice has told me that you are a distraction, but that I should put you in your place. You are playing a dangerous game. I am only a man still, regardless of Justice, and that means that your challenge will be accepted soon. I can only resist you for so long before I give in. Next time, I do not think I will be able to resist you."

Hawke was silent for a moment as she tried to collect her thoughts. He made it clear that he was on the verge of breaking. That is what she wanted...right? Before she could change her mind she spoke. " I would love to see you try and accept my challenge. I do love my games. Take me. I dare you." With that said, she swiftly turned her head, bit his lip, and gave it a playful pull.

Before he could react, she maneuvered herself out from underneath him and his grasp. Sensing that he was about to grab her again, she quickly twirled around and held her blade up to his neck. I will not be placing myself in that situation again. Maker knows what would happen to us both. She kept her blade up as a shield from each-others lusts. They stared at each other for a moment. Desire, anger, and want ravaged his eyes as she looked into them. " Alright Hawke", he said in a defeated tone," You win right now. But I warned you." With that being said, he turned around and began walking back to what Hawke assumed was his clinic. With a satisfied smirk, she clothed her blade again and went inside the Hangman to join the rest of her companions. "Boy, is Isabella going to love this", she sighed as walked over to her friends.

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It is pretty short. I am sorry. I wanted to see how this one goes before I begin to write more. I know, grammar sucks. I do not have a beta reader. I must do without. Ah well, here you go! I decided, instead of having the shy Anders, we would have one more...daring. Just writing this I got turned on by him:3 Just you wait.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own any of these characters.**

**Sorry It has taken a while. I had writers block and had to read some smutty romance books and play DA a little. It is sad, I still have not beaten the second one yet. Wow, I am lame lol. But, I did not want Anders to be so...shy and timid as he kinda is in the games. No, I wanted to give him a fire. Inside him is a dormant tiger...just waiting to pounce :D Thanks Beta mo meta fe fi mo leta for helping me with the corrections and what not.**

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A gray cloud made itself known in Anders head as he paced back and forth in his clinic. No matter what

he did, he could not force the incident between him and Hawke out of his mind. He tried to meditate,

but Maker knows how pointless that was. Even trying to write his manifesto did nothing for him. All he

could think about was her. Her taste. Her smell. Her body. A chill raked its long, harsh, and unforgiving

fingers down his spine at the simple and sweet thought of how close her body was to him. How soft.

How voluptuous. How… tempting. "By the Maker Hawke, how you vex me so!" He groaned as he sat

down on his bed and buried his face in his hands Three years he has been dreaming of her. Three years

has he kept his desires in check. All those sleepless nights of thinking about her. All that time wishing,

aching, CRAVING for her touch. He shook as the memory of her teeth capturing his lip danced before his

eyes. Just a simple nip has almost made him loose all of his control. Just one simple touch, and he was

already ready to take her. By Andraste did he want to claim her! And sometimes, in those nights filled

dreams, did he do so. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw her naked, bare, exposed, and just ready to

be taken. And in those dreams, he did not hold back. A blush began to color his pale skin with its warm

and scarlet touch. In those dreams, he was in control. He was not the shy, timid, and fumbling idiot

around her when it came to how he felt. No, in those dreams, he was the Cat and she, the Mouse. And

oh how he made his prey moan! How could he forget the way she writhed underneath his touch as he

fondled her succulent breasts? The way her breath quickened as he rolled her plump pink nipples

between his fingers. But it never stopped there, oh no for he simply could not let it end there! He could

just feel her nails rake down his back as his teeth nipped at her delicate flesh. He had her at his mercy.

He could make her beg, whimper, plead for his mercy, but none would be given to her. He slowly licked

the spots her bit he left one hand on her breasts as the other one snaked down to her hips. He couldn't

help himself to a grin as whimpers escaped her lips. She was completely his. He held his breath as he

approached her secret place and felt the dew collecting above her. Oh, just how sweet and inviting she

would be. "Please, do not tease me", she begged as she grabbed onto him. He responded to her with a

bite to her throat as he rubbed small circles against her. Her cries were his wine. Her sweaty body was

his feast. He was a king, and she his queen, and tonight they would feast on each other as such. He

began to slow down his circles to an almost complete stop. "Oh, but I do not know if you want it as

badly enough", He breathed huskily in her ear as his fingers traced lower and lower to her lips. She

threw back her head and growled. "Damn you Anders! Please, please just do it! I can not take this

anymore!" He smiled against her. He had her right where he wanted her. Consumed. " I think you

deserve a little treat my pet", he began as he reached her opening. Just as he was about to feel the

inside of her...The sound of a loud thud made itself known in the clinic, disrupting the silence and

Anders from his thoughts. It was dark save for the lanterns lit. How long was he daydreaming? Surely it

was not this long? Had it been a few minutes? A few hours?

He sighed and laid down and just stared at the ceiling. He knew, he knew he could not continue living

like this. He could not continue to live in the shadows of this burning lust. It would drive him to madness!

He had never loved or wanted someone so bad in his entire life. Were these feelings lying dormant from

the beginning and were just now making their presence known? Whatever it was, he could not deny

them any longer. Closing his eyes, he let himself picture a something different then before. So soft and

sweet was it that the softest and sweetest flower would pale in comparison. Then eyes. Eyes that always

had a flame dancing in their depth. But one could not miss the gleam of mischievousness in them. They were always planning and plotting. Plotting about what troubles they could stir up next.

But even with that, they always had a certain warmth to them. Always warm and inviting when you were able to catch

their attention. One could get lost in those eyes if they stared long enough into them. Where they would

take you? Only the Maker would know. These were some of the few simplest things he noticed about

her that he loved. He loved how she could always find herself into some sort of trouble that only she

could get herself out of. She sometimes reminded him of a curious cat. Always exploring and getting

poking around, even in some places it did not belong. But he loved her playful and adventurous spirit.

The places that she took him sometimes confounded him. But he also loved the not so simplest things as

well. Like how she earnestly believed in his cause. She, a non-mage helping an apostate outlaw. It

baffled him. Why would someone so beautiful, so talented, so...so free and full of life help someone like

him? She had nothing to gain from it. She had no reward waiting for her in the end, and yet, here she

was, helping him take one step at a time to freedom. Did she see something in him that he couldn't?

Whatever it was, he was glad he had her. She has proven herself a worthy friend and companion. "What

am I going to do? I can not keep doing this!" Suddenly, a strange feeling overcame him as he squeezed

his eyes tightly shut and clutched each side of his head. It was as if a force mage was crushing his

head. _"Anders, Anders"_, a voice boomed in his head. Anders turned to his side and curled in a ball. He

would do whatever he could to just block out that voice. Most times he could handle him, but tonight

seemed different. His voice seemed louder then normal. "Justice, not now. I do not wish to hear what

you have to say." A blinding flash of white light clashed against his closed lids as a hiss of pain escaped

his lips. _"Foolish mage. You allow yourself to be distracted by this woman! She blinds you from the cause_

_and from what we are trying to accomplished! She will be the end of you and the downfall of all of the_

_hard work we have accomplished. Do you truly think that I do not see your dreams at night? That I do_

_not see you in your most secret and most intimate places with her? I see it all Anders, and I must say_

_that it is a weakness."_ Silence shrouded them both for a moment as Justice let everything he said sink in

before he spoke again, but this time he spoke in quieter and softer tone. _"Mage, Why do you cling to_

_her? She is unnecessary. Why do you place your whole hopes and dreams in her hands?"_ Something wet

trickled down Anders cheek as he laid there motionless with his eyes still closed. When he spoke, it was

in a tone that was barely audible. "Why? Because, she's all I have left." The weight of his words freed

itself from his chest. It was one thing to think that, but to actually say it...

Suddenly, he knew what he was going to do. Quickly he darted off of his bed, grabbed his staff, and

sprinted out of the clinic. No more. No more waiting for her to come around maybe. He already lost her

once to that filthy slave beast. He would not sit around and wait for someone else to sweep her away

from his arms again. He had to act now before anything else happened. Anders ignored the angry yells

of Justice as he rushed through Lowtown at night. No more was he going to be held back from loving

her. No more was he going to sit in the shadows and watch as another man loved her. It was now him

who was going to love her. It was now his turn to show her the real woman that she truly was. Was it

desperation that was leading him in doing this? Was it fear? Whatever it was, Anders did not care for he

knew only one thing. She was all that he had and he was not going to lose her to anyone again. Tonight

was the night that he was going to claim what was his.

* * *

Laughter filled the air in the Hangman as night made its presence more and more known. They had to

have been there for at least an hour or two. Hawke had a little more then she should have drink, she

knew that, but she did not care. Tonight was the night where she could forget everything! The death of

her brother, the loss of her sister to Circle, the heartbroken between her and Fenris. Fenris. She stopped

laughing for a moment and frozen. Fenris. That night. She closed her eyes and hung her head low so that

her hair hid her eyes as memories of him began to swirl in her head. That one night that seemed so long

ago. That night only seemed like a dream now, but it was a dream she would never forget. They had

argued that night and it was bad. She could have sworn that punches were going to be involved. She had

never seen him so angry in the time they had spent together. She remembered she tried to defuse it

before it became to fighting. He had his back turned to her and was walking away when she reached out

and grabbed him. Before she knew what even happened, she was pressed up against the wall hard with

an angry and glowing Fenris in her face. They both stood there staring at each other for a moment with

Fenris's heaving breathing breaking the silence. The glowing began to fade as it dawned on him what he

had just done. He began to pull away quickly before anything else happened. Before he could pull away,

Hawke saw her chance to strike. She turned him roughly and slammed him against the wall. Surprise and

shock crossed his face at how quickly things turned. She glared him for a moment, her eyes daring him

to deny her before she crashed her lips against his. Oh Maker, how hot and spicy his lips were! She

groaned in his mouth as her fingers began to slip up into his white mane. Fenris was stiff for a moment

before he gave into her...And released the wolf. He began to ravish her, biting and then licking where he

bit. Her moans only fed his animalistic hunger as he lost control. His hands roamed until they reached

her backside and grabbed. A gasped escaped Hawked as her body rubbed up against his, causing him to

grunt. In a quick moment, he lifted her up in his arms and forced her legs to wrap around his waist.

There was no escape now for her as he greedily traced her collar bone with his tongue. Before she knew

it, they were on her bed with him on top. Everything was happening so fast, but Maker did it feel so

good. She did not know what it was, but she trusted herself with him. She admired him while he was

about to enter her. Strong muscular arms were on either side of her head as a strong, chiseled chest was

pressed against hers. She clawed his back as he began to thrust in and out of her. The sex was rough,

angry, but oh was it filled with passion! But just as she quickly remembered their love making, did she

also remember the heart break that came after. She remembered waking up to an empty. Panic filled

her mind as she darted up from the bed to only find him standing in front of the fire place. She walked

over to him and wrapped herself around his back, only to have him gently remove herself from him.

Confusion filled her mind as he looked at her with eyes filled with hurt, confusion, and worse of all,

regret. "What is wrong? Was I that bad?" That rewarded her with a small smile. "No, you were

wonderful. It was better then anything I have ever experienced in my entire life. But.." "But what? What

is going on Fenris?" She did not know what it was, but she felt sudden knots being formed in her

stomach. Whatever he had to say next was NOT going to be good. "Hawke, I care for you so much, but I

can not do this. It is not you, it is me. My memories just came rushing back to me. Do you know what

that is like? Not being able to remember and then have your memories, your past, everything just

bombard you?" He shook his head as he began to fiddle with the red cloth she had given him. " I need

time to think, to be alone. I need to understand what this all means." As he said this she watched, heart

threatening to escape her throat as she watched him take off the cloth and hand it to her. She made no move to take it from him. He sighed as he took her hand and placed it in it. Hawke was stunned. She did

not know what to think. Was this really happening? Was he really going to leave and abandoned her like

this? After how she shared herself with him, he was just going to leave her? Broken heart and

vulnerable? "Hawke, listen to me", he began as he cupped her face with one of his hands. She could not

breathe, not with him so close to her. She quickly jerked away from his touch as she clutched her fists to

her chest. She hung her head low as tears began to well up in them. She was not going to let him see her

cry. She did not know why he was doing this, for she knew that they both had deep feelings for each

other and that is what probably made this worse for her. "Get out, now", she whispered. He was silent

for a moment, not sure what to do before he gave a simple bow. "As you wish." And with that, he left

the room and shut the door behind him. With him gone, Hawke's legs gave out and she collapsed onto

the floor and began to cry. How could she have been so foolish as to have loved someone like him? Was

there something wrong with her? Did he not care for her as she did him? All these doubts began to swirl

her mind as she curled up in a ball in her own tears, unable to will herself to move or do anything but cry.

* * *

Hawke gave out a little yelp when she felt something being jabbed in her ribs. She gave out an annoyed

sigh as she heard the playful laughter of Isabella. Figures she would do something like that. "For one

who is difficult to startle, you sure as hell jump pretty high!" She chuckled as she settled herself in the

chair next to Hawke. "Why the sudden brooding?" "I am not brooding!" "Oh? I beg to differ! If Fenris

was here, you two could have a brood off!" His name just hung around in the air like a poisonous vapor

that slithered from her perfectly pouty and full lips. Hawke was silent as she just continued to stare at

her drink. Ever since that night, she no one has seen him around lately, and she sure as hell wasn't going

to go looking for him. Isabella sighed as she flipped around so her back was resting against the

bar. "Look, Hawke, I am sorry about what happened between you two, I really am, but sweet thing, you

can not let one man ruin the fun you can have with others! Just think of all the possibilities! All of those

poor and handsome buggers just looking for a pretty, wild, and untamed thing like yourself to warm

their beds!" She giggles as she pushed herself off the bar and came up close to Hawke so that her lips

were just inches from her ear. "And besides, just think about all of those tricks you could learn. Maybe

you could try and use them on-" Hawke laughed as she pushed herself away from Isabella. "Enough!

Alright, alright! No more please! I get it! My mother would not approve of you corrupting my

innocence!" Isabella threw her head back and roared with laughter." Ah but love, tis what I do best! And

besides, you do not have that much innocence left for me to corrupt!" She came around to Hawke's

other side and began to refill her empty cup. "Think about this", she began as she propped herself up on

the counter, " If he truly loved you, why did he leave? We all saw how loving, supportive, and how

patient you were with him. If he can not see that in you then he doesn't deserve you." "Isabella, stop.

That is not true," Hawke said as she pushed herself up and began to slowly walk to her other

companions. Varric has a group of people surrounding him. No doubt he was spinning tales about her

again. She held back a smile as she saw Merrill dancing around with a cup in her hand. No doubt she was

drunk as a skunk. She shook her head as she turned around and faced Isabella. " That is not the reason,

alright? He just needed time away...away", "Away from you?" Hawke swallowed the dry lump that was

in her throat. " Just give me that damn drink", she said as she took the pitcher from her hand and began

to guzzle its liquids down. Isabella shook her head as she got up and placed a hand on her

shoulder. "Listen, we can all see that he hurt you. You do not hide a broken heart very well. But, maybe he was not the one for you as you think he was. Besides, I have seen the way Anders has been looking at

you. Boy he makes it so obvious what his intentions are! Varric and I have already taken bets in how

long it will take before he snaps and", suddenly she was cut off by Hawke spewing her drink and began

choking. She laughed as she began to whack her on her back. " Oh, so it has already happened has it? I

must tell Varric that-" "Would you shut up," Hawke wheezed from a whiskey burned throat. "It isn't like

that at all! And NO it has not happened!" Isabella smirked as Hawke steadied herself before she spoke. "

Yet. It has not happened yet. I've seen the way he looks at you. Full of lust, admiration, desire... Oh,

there is something incredibly sexy about the tortured soul look. Any second now, he is going to snap and

loses control!" Hawke snorted at this as she watched her indulge herself in her thoughts. By the Maker,

was she glad that she did not have the ability to read minds. "Snap and lose control" she purred as she

took another swig of whiskey, " You mean like he did tonight?" The pure look of shock and excitement

that crossed Isabella's face was priceless. "Oh really now? And you couldn't have told me about this

before?" Hawke just shrugged and smiled and continued to just drink from the pitcher. Isabella just

stared at her with lowed eyes and arms crossed over her chest. "You better hope that that pitcher of

yours is self-replenished." Hawk chuckled as she placed the empty pitcher down. "It happened tonight",

she began in a casual tone, "I kinda just teased him a little, maybe bit his lip a little, and he threatened if

I did not stop, he would take me soon. No big deal." A wicked smile was plastered over Isabella's face as

she just stared at her for a moment. "You slut!" she squealed, "You did not! He really said that? See, I

told you he had it in for you! But Anders? I would have never pinned him as that type! I always thought

he was the more prissy, prim and proper type, not the type that had a wild side just waiting to be

coaxed out of him! Damn, he just got a little bit sexier in my book!" "Then go for it" Hawke teased as she

signaled to the bartender for another jug. "Oh, trust me, I would! But he won't settle until he has you. If

all you said is true, then you best watch yourself. Anders is a man of his word, and when he says he will

do something, he will do it. Be careful, I think you may have bitten off more then you can chew. Fenris

was one thing, but a man who has been forsaken the pleasures and desires of his flesh?" She just bit her

lip seductively and in desire. "Those are the type of men that really know how to make you feel like a

woman." Hawke just rolled her eyes as she tipped the bartender for her jug of whiskey. " I highly doubt

that is the case, and I highly doubt he cares for me as much as you side besides, I-" "You care for him"

she was cut off. "You care for him more then you care to let on. Hell, you may have even cared for him

while with Fenris. There is something about you to that just click. I would dare even say you may even

love him. Why? Because he was the one to picked up your broken heart, and we both know that."

Hawke stood there in silence for a moment, taking in everything she was saying. As much as she did not

want to admit it, she was right. Anders was always there for her whenever she needed someone. He

was always sweet, gentle, kind, and loving to her. He made her feel sort of safe in a strange way. He

even made her feel welcomed and like she belonged. After the incident that happened with Beth, and

with the death of mother, he was always there at her side, much to the dislike of Fenris, making sure she

was alright and well taken care of. She remembered that night, when her mother had died. After Fenris

left, Anders slowly crept into her room. She was laying down on her stomach on her bed sobbing. She

did not need someone to tell her everything will be alright, she needed to be shown that she could get

through this. She hid her face in the curtain of her long, dark hair as she heard him approach. "Leave me

alone, I already had Fenris in here trying to cheer me up, and I am worse off then I was before!" It was silent in the room for a moment before she felt him sit down on the bed gently. They sat there for a

moment, neither of them daring to say anything. Instead, Anders began to gently rub her back in small

circles. From such a small gesture, she was surprised by the comfort that she received from it. She

relaxed as he continued to rub her in silence. Suddenly, she could not hold back the sobs anymore as

tears just flooded from her eyes. She clutched her pillow and began sobbing deeply into it, as if hoping

that the pillow would soak up all of the pain she was feeling inside her. "Why, why her? Maker, why is

everyone I care being taken away from me? I was supposed to protect my family! They looked up to me,

and I failed them! I failed you father! Mother, I am so sorry, you were right, it was my fault that Carver

died, that the Circle took Bethany, and now you. It is all my fault! I hate it!" She began screaming into

her pillow as sobbed uncontrollably. This was to much for her. She felt like she was going to suffocate.

She began to pound and hit her bed with her fists. She couldn't do this anymore. She had nothing left.

No one. " I can't do this anymore!" She was to angry and blinded by tears to notice that two strong, but

firm hands began to gently pull her up. "No, don't touch me! Leave me alone! Let me go!" She screamed

and began to violently hit Anders again and again as he began to bring her close to his chest in a gentle

embrace." Fuck, let go Anders! You are not wanted here!" She tried to push away from his chest, but he

was much stronger then her. She was exhausted from the crying she has been doing. "Shh, Hawke, calm

down, I'm here", he gently cooed as he pressed her against his chest. He winced a little as she clawed

and banged at his chest, but he would not let her go. He couldn't. Just seeing her in this much pain, this

much anger, it killed him inside. Eventually she calmed down and laid limp in his arms. She just shook

and gently sobbed as he tightened on arm around her, and cradled her head with his other. "Shhh,

Hawke, you are not alone. None of this is your fault. You were a wonderful leader to your family Hawke.

They all knew you did your best. Your father would have been so proud of you. I know I am.' He just

began to rock back and forward as he continued to hold her close. Her cries began to die down a

little. "Anders? Why are you here?" She gulped down a sob as she grabbed onto him and pulled him

closer to her. He was silent for a moment before answering. "Because you are my friend. I care for you,

and I hate seeing you hurt like this." "Friend..", she whispered. He paused for a moment as if he was

going to say more before he just settled on a "Yes." She buried her face into the nook of his neck and

sighed. "Thank you", she whispered as she closes her tired weary eyes. He gently kissed her forehead as

he rested his head against hers. "Shh, your welcome. Just rest now. I am here and I will protect you."

Everything about him swirled behind her closed eyes. The comfort of his warmth, the musky smell that

defined him, the gentleness of his touch...She couldn't think anymore as she was being lulled into

sleep. "Don't leave", she muttered as sleep desperately pulled at her. Last thing she heard was his soft

voice, that sounded as if it was filled with longing, determination. "Never again", he whispered as he

watched her drift off into sleep.

Hawke shook her head and placed Isabella into a head lock. "Enough with this sad talk! We were here

to have fun and that is what we will have! Besides, I am dying to hand you and Varric's asses to the

both of you at a drinking contest!" She locked her arm around her neck tighter as she felt Isabella

trying to squirm. Before she knew what happened, she felt herself falling to floor. She laid on her back

stunned at what had happen before she saw her friend's face laughing down at her. She laughed as

she accepted Isabella's outstretched hand and pulled herself up. " I have got to be more careful with

you. You sure know a lot of tricks!" Her friend laughed as she took a swig of the jug of whiskey she smuggled out of Hawkes hand. "Hunny, something tells me that you are going to be learning a bunch

of tricks soon!" "And if that is the case, you will be the first to know!" They both laughed as the took

turns taking swigs of their poison of choice as they walked over to their companions "Hey, Varric! Hawke

thinks she can beat us both at a drinking contest!" Oh, tonight was going to be interesting Hawke knew

she should not be drinking as much as she was, but tonight, she was going to throw caution into the

wind. Tonight, she was going to indulge with her friends. Besides, what was the worst that was going to

happen tonight? They already cleared up all of the streets of the bandits that always try and take control

at night, so it is not like she was in any danger going home with her reflexes dulled. "Damn right! Five

soverins that I can beat you both!" Varric raised an eyebrow at this. " You sure you can handle this little

girl? Your drinking with the pros." Hawke dug into her coin purse and slammed down five golden coins

on a nearby table and sat down. "Oh, I am sure." And with that, Varric smiled and excused himself from

the crowd he was indulging with his stories and sat down at the table with Isabella. "Alright, you are

both on!" A night of drinking with friends. A night of laughter and smiles. A night were all the pain and

heartache of the world could be forgotten. Tonight was a night to live with no regrets. A night where all

caution is thrown to the edge. A night were anything could happen.


End file.
