Pokémon You'll Always Remind Me

**You Should Have Stayed**

**Warning: This story isn't everyone's cup of tea, so don't go complaining to me about certain things that happen in this story and for others please enjoy.**

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'If only you stayed...'

Blankly staring at the crisp black slender stem that once held a vibrant emerald stem, I simultaneously lifted the dead piece of mother nature that once brought a loving, beautiful and joyful emotion that seeped its way to my once lively beating heart that also lived for another.

If only I had known when I was younger the true meaning of roses, then I might have spent much more time with him, before his departure to the skies. If only I had caught on with the hints that stood out obviously, it may have changed things and if only I hadn't held a naïve nature at the young age of ten, I may have been a little more smarter when it came to romance.

I traced the small brown lifeless petals that once held my favourite colour; red. They also held the untold harboured feeling of him the feeling of love; even though, it was concealed with his attitude, but these roses -that were precious to me- made up for his attitude that held pure arrogance and obnoxiousness. I'll never deny that I didn't love his attitude towards me; I'll hold on to each memory of his rude attitude, because I loved his way of expressing to me.

Deeply, I exhale loudly trying to breathe away the hurt that forms in my heart and the unknown feeling of pain that lingers in my stomach. It hurts more than if a knife were to plunge its way through my vulnerable soul, it's absolute angst to me.

Why did he have to leave me broken and why did I realise his feeling... when it was too late, why?

It's been nine months since his departure, but I still can't grasp the fact that he's gone...for good and I never got to pay him back for all the times he rescued me, assisted me during the times I needed it and encouraged me to carry on in life no matter the defeat or loss, but now that he's gone I feel dull, and how can he possibly tell me to carry on in life without _him_.

How can I?

He taught me that I needed to find my own style, he taught me that I could be really good at something if I was committed to it and he taught me the true meaning of love and even though he isn't here, I can still feel the warmth that he held and it still jolts alive in my body.

At the moment I can't move on, because everywhere I look, all I see is him because I'm constantly reminded of his presence.

"May"

I hear the whisper of my mother, I'm definite she's worried about me after all I haven't gotten out of my home for a few days precisely six days and it's over the grieving I'm doing and she acknowledges this, but ever since I've arrived she's decided to try and let me sort my thoughts out and let me have my alone time because at the moment I really need it.

She sighs before joining me on the side of my bed. Mother doesn't say anything more, but she does wipe off the salty tears that form on my eyes and she does try and silently comfort me by gently rubbing circles on my back. She stays like that until I relax from her touch, but I still haven't realised how tense I was when she entered and tried to comfort me.

It feels like some time before she speaks up.

"Darling, you can't keep isolating yourself from the world... I know he's important to you and vice versa, but what has happened has happened and I'm sure he wouldn't want you here mourning over something for almost a year now... he's want you to become stronger on your own and he'd want you to be a person who'd achieve her dreams and carry on" she pauses as she realises that my eyes are starting to build up moisture again.

"May, you know we're all worried about you and we want to support you during these hard times, so I want you to get out of the house for a few hours and all of us will head on over to the park and get you some fresh air along with a steamy plate of ramen noodles, how does that sound?"

I slightly perk up at the name of my favourite food; I haven't tasted it for a few days and for some reason after mother mentions it, I have a sudden crave maybe because ramen has always been something I eat when I really need to be cheered up.

Maybe her little idea isn't as bad as it seems, so I'll take it on.

Slowly, I nod and without warning my mother engulfs me in a large, tight embrace that makes me exhale loudly.

"I'll come, but it's only you and me, okay?" I think the reason those words came out my mouth was because I could talk to my mother easily, but Max and Dad were a different issue as they were male and would probably try and crack a joke, which at the moment I didn't want and there was also the reason of me needed some space from my family, so I'd rather go with my mother than anyone else.

"Okay, just get ready to go out within fifteen minutes and call me when you're ready to go out okay?"

I nod and this time just to give some reassurance to my mother, I forcefully try and curve my lips upwards to form a smile and I'm definite this wasn't the smile I was going for as it ended up turning in to a sad smile.

"Don't force yourself, you'll only make your situation worse, May" mother said before she left me to get ready for the park.

I needed to get my act together!, I wasn't only effecting myself over Drew, as I suddenly realised I was also effecting everyone around me in a negative way and it shouldn't have been like this.

"Drew, what are you doing to me?"

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"See, doesn't this feel good and what a good time of day, since the park isn't as busy as it normally is" Mother says as she inhales the fresh scent of nature that surrounds us. I know that I'm supposed to try and clear my head, but what can I say I feel his presence everywhere and by everywhere I mean that some things keep reminding me of him for example the greenery.

"May, I know I haven't brought this subject up for a while properly other than the conversation we had some time ago today, but I think that the best way for you to try and lessen your pain is for you to actually let your feeling loose, you know, and try to make an effort to see that even if he's gone you'll still remember him... I feel like it's one of the reasons to why you grieve, so you don't forget about him."

Part of what she's said is true, I don't want to forget him and I'm scared that something like that will happen to me and I don't want that to happen and because of that I think this is why after his death, everything I see reminds me of him.

"Let yourself loose, May... say what's on your mind It'll make you feel a lot more happier in the long run" my mother urged trying to coax me out of the hidden thoughts that plagued my head for a quite a while now.

I inhaled and exhaled out looking at the fog that formed before my eyes. I halt for a minute and gaze at the nightfall that displays the night sky beautifully a few stars twinkle and gleam like they're trying to urge me to let myself loose. A twitch of a star gracefully bolts through the sky outdoing all the little things that adorn the sky and for some unknown reason I smile, and this time it's more relaxed, nice and whole-hearting and it's anything but forced.

Unconsciously, I find myself spilling everything on my mind to my Mother who remains silent all the way through.

"Whenever I look at the trees, they remind me of his hair, his silky chartreuse hair that I can just run my fingers through if he'd let me" I said my azure eyes staring intensely at the greenery in front of me and looking at one tree swaying calmly in the air I brush the leaves and an instant flash of green hair returns to my memory.

_That Grasshead._

"His emerald irises remind me of growing determination and passion... not to mention a little miniature garden of my own that I can dwell in only him and me, but it isn't like that as he's no longer around..." I say trying my best not sound upset.

"It's also the way he wears his lips, I could say I'm annoyed when he was around, he'd always have his signature smirk plastered to his face and he only did it when he was around _me_" I say chuckling a little remembering all the times he had given my his infamous smirk that made my blood boil to some extent.

"I can say there's lots more, but the one that I'll continue to remember for a long time to come is his roses... I always used to wonder where they came from," I say and now I'm on the liquorish-like grass tugging at it from the top and I lye down on my back pointing a finger at the stars at the sky. "I've always wondered, because he'd pull them out of nowhere like a magician and it'd always surprise me every time he did so"

"H-his roses held many meanings to them, a-and I bet I still haven't figured all of them out his passion, love and comfort all of it were contained in to those singular roses that I've still kept even though they've w-withered, but no matter what has happened unlike these roses _our _late love will never wither" I say in an almost whisper that's barely audible.

"I'm sorry, I'm going off topic... the one time when I can truly confess everything, he's not here and I can't help but feel like it's my fault because I know I could have saved him from the sudden attack, but I-I just wasn't there and I should have been" I say and now realise that I had almost forgot that I was in my Mothers presence and I wasn't in my own world of thoughts anymore.

I had said most of it on my part, but I wanted a response not from her but from Drew.

Mother had quickly scurried to the ground beside me and sighed "You sure have deep feelings for him May, I know you can overcome this phase in life and continue on with what you wanted to do and perhaps all it takes is time"

"Yeah, It'll take some time but I'll manage, but It would have been better if he stayed... only if he stayed"

_"_May, you may not realise it, but he hasn't left you to drown yourself in grief, fear and mourn... he wants you to become stronger and you will, however, if you haven't noticed you have support all around you after all your talking about nature and how Drew reminds you, you should acknowledge that's he's watching over you and it's probably the reason to why you look much better than before..."

_He's watching over me?_

_Well if you are Drew, I have to say when I meet you up there when it's my time, you better wait for me because I'll give you hell if you don't and one more thing... those so-called feelings you decided to portray through roses, I'll be sure to give you all of them back when I reach to your destination and with interest to._

_Wait for me..._

It's the last thought I remember, before I found myself exiting the park with my Mother and for once in my life I could say being reminded of him through nature was the best thing that could make me happy and I found myself smiling the brightest I have ever smiled for a long time.

It was as if from a distance I heard a voice from the winds replying to me with an "I will" and I was definite my deal with Drew was finalised and it wasn't my imagination playing tricks on me. I repeated the voice over and over in my head for the rest of the day.

_I will_

And, I can still hear the smirk in his voice... annoying grasshead!.

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**Can't believe I just wrote this, because honestly this is a first for me (the genre) and writing in first person as well :D**

**Wait almost forgot, Disclaimer... of course Pokemon doesn't belong to me**

**Hope you all enjoyed it, feedback is much appreciated, so R&amp;R**

**Sapphire :D**


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