Frozen 1. Chapter 1

There was a request on Tumblr for a fic that took a more realistic approach to Elsa's reaction to her isolation. So this is my attempt also this is slow burn Elsanna.

Updates should be at least once a week.

Feel free to review, ask questions, and give suggestions. (No beta all errors are my own)

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><p>The candle on the corner of the desk started to flicker, Elsa watched the wick burn to an end, and the flame snuff out. She stared off into the darkness, the quiet study comforted her. Within its stone walls she remained free from nobles who wanted to shake hands and suitors who wanted a kiss and even her sister. Yet, despite the freeing environment of the study the kingdom of Arendelle still lurked beyond the dark walls.<p>

Arendelle required the majority of her time and the reward consisted of longer nights and aching muscles that were left untended. While she understood her responsibility she couldn't destroy the feelings of fear the crept up throughout the day. She longed for her isolation and the comfortable feeling of silence surrounding her.

She roused herself from her thoughts and with a quick flick of the wrist Elsa struck another match and lit a new candle. The light shined across the wooden table, her eyes found yet another trade form. She picked up the quill and dipped it into the ink; her signature now graced the bottom of the page.

At least Arendelle would continue to receive chocolate.

Kai stood gracefully outside the study's door, after his years of servitude he knew that Elsa came out into the world, the world didn't go to her. His pudgy knuckles raked against the door, a groan came from the other side. He cleared his throat.

"Your grace, we've received more trade requests as well as a number of inquires as to yours and Anna's eligibility." No response ever filtered backand he left making his way back to the main hall. A number of other servants were gathered about working on various tasks. The carrier stood rather impatiently his weight shifting from one foot to another, and his hand clenched firmly around the papers. He gave a slight nod when Kai paid him his penance and quickly exited.

He shifted through the letters tossing the ones about marriage and arranged meetings into the fire and delegated a few minor matters to himself. A cook scurried past with Elsa's tray and Kai seamlessly dropped the remaining mail onto the plate.

The plate and the mail made it back up to the study and were placed gently outside the door. The cook knocked on the door twice before leaving. Elsa stood on the other side slightly agitated, opening up the door should have been simple enough yet it seemed to crane far above her. She felt her hands starting to shake and slowly the mantra she had worked to expel came rushing back. She clenched her hands and bit her lip, straining to hear the faint sounds of the cook moving away. The silence lasted long enough that she deemed it safe.

She had been wrong.

Outside her door Anna stood with the tray a large grin plastered on her face. Elsa instinctively gripped the door, her powers flared icing the back of the door through her gloves. Elsa gave her a half smile.

"Morning."

"I saw this outside your door I figured you wouldn't want it to get cold." Anna paused "Actually, maybe you would, or not, I'm not really sure." her face flushed slightly, she bit her lip to stop talking. A slight cracking sound echoed behind Elsaand she rather abruptly removed her hand from the door. Anna cautiously watched her slightly arching an eyebrow.

"Thanks." replied Elsa, her voice even. She held her gloved hands out waiting for Anna to hand over the plate. After a few moments of hesitation Anna finally spoke up.

"I had hoped that you would want to eat breakfast with me?" her weight shifted from foot to foot and she looked down at the plate. Her anxiety clearly noticeable. Elsa grimaced slightly before clearing her throat.

"Sure." the response was a bit unsteady. Her younger sister's eyes lifted from the floor, wide and excited. "But," Elsa trudged on "We have to eat in my study. I have a significant amount of paper work to get through."

By the time Elsa had finished her sentence Anna had already shoved the tray into Elsa's hands and dashed down to the kitchen to get herself a plate. Elsa watched Anna's dress flow behind, her lips turned up in a slight smile when she heard the sounds of some armor clicking and a rather loud 'sorry' echo through the halls.

Anna made it back to the study in record time, but Elsa had finished most of her meal and was already rather far along in the newest notices. Anna skidded into the room surprisingly elegant, Elsa hid a slight a smile. Anna sat down in the chair across from the desk and dropped her plate on the table to her right. It clinked louder than expected which caused Elsa to jump slightly her pen nib tearing into the parchment.

She looked up Anna sheepishly looked back at her, the younger sister opened her mouth a few times in an attempt of an apology but, settled with a slight squeak and went back to eating with a tinge of red on her cheeks.

Elsa crumpled the ruined response to Corona's trade offer and began again on a new piece of paper. She tried to concentrate but with each word she became distinctly more aware of Anna's gaze. She finally gave up and placed the pen in the inkwell.

"Yes?"

Anna nearly dropped the fork she had been twirling in her hand not expecting to be caught staring.

"No...no..nothing." She stammered.

"You've been staring at me the whole time you must want something."

"Well," Anna started rather unsure of herself. She put her hands on her knees and smoothed out her dress. "I just wanted to get to know you better. It just seems that we haven't done much since." She trailed off "I mean I realize the kingdom takes time but, I just had expected a little more interaction, or something."

Elsa quickly pushed down the guilt that flared within her.

"I wouldn't say that's entirely true. You joined me in the-"

"A trade meeting doesn't suffice as getting to know one another." Anna retorted. Elsa bristled a little at being cut off, even by her sister. "At no point did we actually even speak to one another."

"It's not ideal but-"

"There isn't a but, Elsa. You haven't done anything with me." Elsa opened her mouth but Anna continuedon,"And this doesn't count either, you've been doing paperwork the whole time. I just want a bit of time, it's not like I'm asking you to build a snowman."

It took Anna a moment to grasp that _those _words had just slid off her tongue. That whole phrase still brought up rather negative feelings on both sides. The room chilledand Elsa's face became unreadable.

"I need to finish this agreement." Elsa glared at her sister.

"No fucking kidding." Before Elsa could respond to Anna vitriolic statement, she left and rather loudly slammed the door sending ripples throughout the room. Elsa couldn't control it and blasted a stack of books sending them flying across the room. She rested her head on the edge of the desk while she worked to bring her rage under control.

By the end of the day Elsa's mental and emotional strength were faltering. The strain of kingdom affairs coupled with peoples need to introduce themselves and shake hands had her on edge. She nearly iced a guard who accidentally bumped into her. Another meeting and she could retreat to her room. Images of the morning flashed through her mind she still hadn't seen Anna since then.

She slouched in her throne allowing just the briefest moment of respite. Her thoughts swirled around apologizing to Anna or demanding an apology. The scuffling of feet on the stone roused Elsaand she quickly resumed proper posture. The Kai had informed her earlier that another suitor arrived and demanded an audience. Kai normally with a few well placed phrases could get rid of the them,but this one appeared to be rather cunning.

Kai walked forward with a scraggly young but, rather handsome gentleman. His clothes screamed regal when Elsa glanced at Kai he offered a rather sympathetic look in return.

"May I present Victor of Galicia." With the introduction done the Kai bowed and left. Victor shifted and knelt down on a knee. He began speak when a door behind Elsa opened and Anna walked in. She was completely oblivious to the current scene.

Victor didn't move to speak again and looked confused his eyes flickering between Anna and Elsa.

"Apologies." Elsa quickly stood and made her way over to Anna, whom had abruptly paused to the far left of the throne. Elsa advanced on her getting rather close and lowered her voice.

"You need to leave." Anna arched an eyebrow at the rather stark commandand Elsa noticed her features adapt a more defensive posture.

"I didn't realize that on top of not getting to see my sister, I was forbidden from moving about the castle."

Elsa glanced back to Victor who now stood waiting for the conversation to be finished.

"I never said that," Elsa frowned "I'm in the middle of something right now." Anna looked over at Victor.

"Oh, I see" she seethed, Elsa was temporarily taken back at the hostility her sister displayed "so suitors get to see my sister more than I do, how quaint."

With that Anna turned and left. Elsa wanted to reach out and grab her arm yet she couldn't force herself to. The meeting with Victor resumed and ended with a simple 'no' despite his insistence and Elsa disappeared to find Anna.

Elsa managed to find her with relative ease, which was surprising considering the girl's knowledge of the castle's hiding places far exceeded her own. Anna had hidden in a corner of the portrait room, she was hugging her knees to her chest. Elsa's anger fled the moment her eyes landed on her sister. Anna made no motion to acknowledge Elsa even when she had sat down next to her. The silence stretched out for several moments until Elsa finally relented.

"I'm sorry." She didn't specify for what exactly but hoped it wouldn't matter. Anna didn't respond for several moments, until she ground the palm of her hands into her eyes. Elsa felt the unmistakeable clench of guilt in the pit of her stomach. "I'm sorry." she said again her voice wavering. Anna shook her head and breathed in.

"It's fine." her voice cracked slightly.

"No, it's not. I'm not helping." Elsa's eyes narrowed in frustration "I," she fumbled for the words "I just can't break myself from the isolation."

"I know that but, Elsa have you even been trying. I can deal with halfhearted attempts and working meals but, gangly suitors see you more than I doand I would hope I'm better than a suitor. Especially considering I'm not in it for the money or sex." her voice trailed offand Elsa's face flushed red. They sat next to each other for several minutes while Elsa struggled to control her blush. Anna pushed herself up off the floor and moved to leave when Elsa grabbed her.

"I'll work- on it." Her response wasn't elegant, nothing like what a Queen might compose. She held Anna in place while she waited for a reply. Anna let out a slight huff and looked back, Elsa watched Anna's features trying to gauge her reaction.

Her mouth opened several times before Anna turned away casting her gaze towards the paintings that lined the walls. Elsa followed her gaze, Joan, she never could determine why her sister had such a peculiar fascination with the girl.

"Okay." The word snapped Elsa out of her thought induced daze, she looked up to see Anna watching her. Anna took a step closer and gave her a slight shoulder nudge, "Okay?" Elsa removed her hand but gave Anna a slight nod back.


	2. The Trolls

Here's the second chapter. I realize that these are fairly shortbut they'll get longer as the story progresses. I'm not sure how long, I tend to like to split chaptersand I'm not huge on word inflation.

The next chapter isn't going to be until late next week or early of the following week. I have a couple of tests I need to study for unfortunately.

Feel free to leave question, comments, concerns etc.

All the mistakes are mine.

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><p>The door to the study flew open with such force that it slammed into the stone wall causing a thundering crack. It sounded to Elsa like the door had snapped off its hinges however when she looked up it was still attached. The individual that caused such a scene now stood in the middle ofdoor way slouched over trying to regain her breath.<p>

Anna huffed, her chest rising and falling rapidly unable to get a single word out.

Elsa glanced over her sister with a worried look. Her clothes were unmarredand her shoes only scuffed from previous use. No marks graced her skin, the only discernible changes consisted of her labored breathing and her hair that now fell in front of her face. Elsa's eyes narrowed in on the white strands of Anna's hair; flashes of that day came back: her, Anna, Olaf, and the _trolls. _

"Are you okay?" Anna's voice filtered in she had finally managed to catch her breath. Elsa twisted her tongue preparing to lie however when she noticed the frozen pen in her hand she reconsidered.

"I just remembered," she paused debating on how much she actually wanted to tell her sister "something unpleasant."

She twirled the frosted pen in her hand, within a few moments the ice disappeared. Elsa dropped the pen on her desk it rolled a few inches before stopping on top of the formal apology from the Southern Isles. She shook her head slightly before moving out from behind the desk eager to move past the unpleasant memories. "Would you be up for a walk?"

"You don't walk, you run." Anna teased but nodded yes in response. The slight jab made Elsa twinge however, the comment was clearly done in jest so Elsa endeavored to let it go. They walked down the hallway only a few feet apart. Every couple of minutes Anna would 'accidentally' rub her shoulder against Elsa's. The older sister quickly picked up on what her sister was doing but didn't say anything. They passed a number of servants as well as Kai, who gave a slight nod and informed Elsa of a few simple managerial items before leaving the girls alone.

They made it out into the garden. With little delay Anna jumped onto the small brick wall that lined the path. Elsa looked on with amusement while Anna danced and twirled along the wall her green dress swaying with each and every turn. She wondered if this would've been a normal activity for them if her powers hadn't manifested. The wall came to a sudden end causing Anna to trip on a slightly raised brick, a few profanities left Anna's mouth while she fell. Elsa reacted on instinct managing to catch Anna before she slammed into the ground.

"Thanks," she continued without missing a beat "Oh!I nearly forgot Kristoff invited me to hang out with him and the trolls tomorrow, he said that you were more than welcome to come."

"No." There wasn't a second of hesitation before Elsa replied. She removed her hands from her younger sister and casually side stepped Anna to continue along the path. A gentle breeze swirled through the trees causing the leaves to rustle insoothing sound. Elsa turned inspecting a blooming red Adonis fully aware that Anna had now caught up.

"Are you sure? You didn't even think on it." Anna's features expressed her confusion "And last time I checked with Kai he said there weren't any important meetings tomorrow. I figured it would be kind of nice. You and me, of course Kristoff, Sven, Olaf, and -"

"Yes well, nice is not how I would describe it." she replied turning her gaze from the Adonis to Anna. "Especially tomorrow of all days." the words quietly escaped her from her lips.

"Am I missing something?"

Elsa sighed there was no point in enlightening her sister to the significance of tomorrow. She didn't need to know that tomorrow exactly fifteen years ago, happened to be the first time her older sister nearly killed her. Elsa's eyes found the white strands in Anna's hair the lie fell easily from her lips.

"No."

"Don't do that." Anna crossed her arms, she looked like a mother about to chastise her child.

"Do what?" Elsa content to continue this charade until Anna gave up. She knew that while Anna could be stubborn given enough amount of time she would relent. She ripped the Adonis from its stem twirling it in her hand.

"You know what. You're shutting me out." Anna moved closer looking directly at her sister, the wind buffeted Anna's hair aroundand Elsa couldn't stop watching that one section move about.

"Leave it Anna." This always happened, Anna would push her to farand it would to lead to an outburst which often involved the use of her powers. It wasn't healthy or at least Elsa didn't think so. Normally, she could handle lengthy complicated repertoire but Anna skipped around all her normal tactics and went straight for what she wanted. Elsa readjusted her light blue summer cloak feeling the need to wrap it around herself.

"Elsa. Try. Now." Anna put a little to much emphasis on the 'now' which sparked a defensive mechanism within Elsa. All Elsa could hear were the voices of their parents and the _trolls _they kept demanding her to control her powers. The more she tried the less she could, 'conceal don't feel', those visions, the warnings. Control, control, CONTROL. Elsa snapped.

"Fine." she snarled, the Adonis fell to the ground crushed. "I _hate_ the trolls."

Anna looked taken back either by her admission or the shear emotion that dripped from her words, Elsa couldn't tell.

"Why?"

"Cause they caused all of this." Elsa made a rather sweeping gesture to everything "The started everything they couldn't just heal you. No, no," She twisted about pacing in front of Anna looking rather insane "they decided to 'warn' me, I was seven years old. Instead they showed me visions of the devastation my powers could," she chuckled darkly "would cause. They danced those images in front of me. The red so engrained into my mind that I still wake up with terrors." She stopped turning towards Anna, her face flushed from her monologue "The real question is why don't you hate them, _they _took your memories."

Anna opened her mouth a few times, her inability to speak paired with her drawn in eyebrows and slightly tilted head screamed bewilderment.

"How..wha- what?" Anna managed to get out.

"The trolls stole your memories." Elsa returned to pacing between the brick walls. Her feet constantly trampling the Adonis.

"I understood that. I reiterated my comment in hopes you would explain." Anna volleyed back, her verbal skills finally kicking in. Elsa stayed silent astonished that her power hadn't manifested after a flare of annoyance coursed through her, perhaps she had begun to improve. "Look, either you tell meor the trolls do and I'd prefer to hear it from my sister."

Sister, Elsa cursed herself for the inability to deny her sister anything, chocolate, festivals, even her secrets. With a dreadful sigh she began to recount the events of that day.

".. so asking me to join you with them on the day I nearly killed you for the first time isn't something I'd ever want to do."

Anna remained relatively quiet during the retelling only asking a few questions for clarification. Elsa watched Anna's hands fiddle with her hair specifically the white strands, she twirled it around her fingers again and again.

"I'm not about to forbid you from going because you clearly enjoy Kristoff's company. I, however, will not accompany you." Elsa gave a slight nod before fleeing to her room careful to avoid Kai and Gerda.

No knock graced her door, Anna apparently decided to leave her sister alone. Elsa always thought it to be better that way anyway. She stripped. No longer feeling constricted under the hot fabric she tossed the gloves on the dresser and fell into bed. The room felt wrong, it always had but even more so now. She glanced up at the ceiling finally realizing that the ceiling art was different from the one in the room they shared as children. It took fifteen years for her to notice.

Elsa felt hot tears trail down her cheeks. For the first since their parents death she laid on her bed clutching a pillow shaking while visions of red danced through her head.

When Elsa awoke her muscles ached, and her face stung. The sun that filtered through her curtains alerted her to the rather late time of the day. Neither Kai nor Gerda attempted to rouse her, she wondered if Anna mentioned something to them. She pushed back the covers and slowly sat up groaning to herself. She apparently cried so hard her chest now hurt.

The bed creaked slight Elsa headed towards the bathroom. The bathroom glistened causing Elsa to wince she needed to have a discussion about the amount of polish the staff used. Groping about slightly blinded by the light Elsa managed to pull a lever. She waited for the hot water to run through the intricately constructed system. She thanked Pappenheim for his brilliance when she slipped into the filled tub. She submerged herself till just her nose rested millimeters above the water. Despite her affinity for the cold nothing relaxed her more than scalding water.

Her eyes slid shutand Elsa felt the tendrils of sleep start to take over once again. The next time she roused her head resided under the waterand she felt her lungs burning for air. She broke free of the surface sputtering and coughing water all about, she scrambled for purchase launching herself out of the tub.

She sworeand the water froze, she glared at the iced tub with contempt. After clothing herself with a quick flick of the wrist she wandered downstairs. Within the throne room Kai dolled out various tasks, Elsa looked over he caught her gaze. With a few quick words he sent the staff members off. He walked with her down the hallway informing her that there was food in the kitchen and of Anna's absence. Elsa bit her tongue at the revelation but nodded thanking Kai.

Elsa expected it yet it felt like betrayal. Her sister off conversing with those trolls and Kristoff; the boy himself wasn't the problem he seemed innocent enough. She momentarily recalled her innocence the pure bliss she took from showing her sister magic. The time when it represented unbridled happiness. A mournful sigh escaped from her lips when she remembered how in fractions of a moment magic's innocence combusted around her. Those visions had consumed everything she loved about her powers leaving her petrified.

After wolfing down several chocolate pancakes she made a spur of the moment decision to shirk all duties today. The library doors creaked in protestbut Elsa forced them open. The bookshelves rose several feet above her all bursting with books even a few stacks rested on the floor. She searched for a specific name. Joan. She slid her fingers along the spines of the books she passed until she finally found the section 'France History'; she pulled a number of bound books from their homes and walked to the portrait room.

The clock in the corner ticked softly the pendulum swinging back and forth in time. Elsa devoured the books at a rather steady pace until she felt herself yawn. This constant exhaustion started to irritate her the only cause appeared to be emotional turmoil which seemed to her a lousy reason. Yet, she didn't do more than let out a sigh when the book slipped from her hand and her eyes shut.

Elsa awoke with a start, a slight kink now manifested at the base of her neck. Her fingers dug into the muscles inattempt to alleviate the pain that radiated every time she moved. She stood causing the books to clatter to the ground she ignored them and drowsily walked back to her room. A figure walked past her rather hurriedly their cloak flowing behind them, it took a moment for Elsa's sleep-addled mind to register.

"Anna?" Anna stopped and turned back around "Isn't it late to be getting back?"

"Yeah, sorry it took longer than expected."

"Fun, at least?" Elsa despite her disposition did want Anna to enjoy herself, her sister deserved it.

"Yep. Just exhausting I mean super exhausting. Who knew magic could be that tiring." Anna rambled on clearly oblivious to Elsa's now ram-rod straight posture. "Well, you I guess you do. Now I understand why you always look so exhausted."

"Magic? Why-"

"I made them give me my memories back." Anna quickly supplied "They were reluctant at first apparently returning memories isn't always the easiest thing to do, risks and all that." shrugging her shoulders.

"Anna, magic is very serious." started Elsa her protective side revealing itself.

"I know" she smiled sweetly at Elsa confusing the woman even more her younger sister never seemed so at ease "I remember everything. Every moment Elsa: the skating, Olaf the original, even the midnight snow fights in the ball room." Anna's smile brightened with each event she easily recollected. Anna paused now inspecting her sister in the moonlight. Elsa flushed at the increased attention to her features.

"I see."

"You see?" Echoed Anna clearly not expecting such a simple response.

"Then," Elsa's features darkened avoiding her sister's gaze "you remember-"

Anna huffed shaking her head in annoyance. Her head movements jostled the strip out of its place in Anna's messy bun and fell down. Anna tilted her head blowing the white hair up and out of her face.

"It wasn't your fault." Elsa swallowed, her vocal cords refused to respond. "You were a kid."

"Oh I've done so much better now that I'm an adult." she batted back the retort lacked the normal bite.

"No, you haven't but neither have I Elsa. I push you past your limits all the time just like I did when we were kids." she stopped moving closer to Elsa her hand came up making sure Elsa looked directly into Anna's eyes "Elsa, I'm letting you know that I forgive you."

Anna stepped back when Elsa opened her mouth to refuse Anna's forgiveness. "Fine, you can hate yourself but I refuse to. Your powers are part of you, but they don't define you. Let me know when you realize that." With that response Anna turned and promptly left ignoring the tears in Elsa's eyes.


End file.
