A song of Ice and Fire 1. Chapter 1

The first time Shireen sees Rickon Stark it is at the wedding of her cousin. He had not been at the rehearsal dinner nor the parties that had been occurring in the past week. Shireen is sure that Arya asked her to be a bridesmaid only to please Gendry.

Her cousin, a welder and a carpenter and mechanic aka jack of all trades, and herself may not have seemed very close but having grown up together after her uncle Robert acknowledged Gendry after discovering all of his children were fathered by his cousin-in-law the pair were very close.

Gendry was tall like his father and blessed with a muscular form combined with the black hair of the Baratheon line along with their blue eyes, the color of the sea. Raised in London by his mother before she died Gendry had a hard time adjusting to life in Wales in the family estate of Dragonstone. Shireen, having spent most of her childhood at Storm's end, had been visiting her Uncle when she had met her cousin. He had been eleven and she was nine. They had bonded immediately and soon he was her closest friend.

And after the accident that left her scarred Gendry was the one who chased away the bullies and the one who stayed with her and defended her and helped her stand up for herself.

Of course they were complete opposites. Gendry was tall and confident and muscular and had friends from all walks of life. Shireen is quiet, a bookworm, smart, and happy to continue her studies at Oxford without being present at the wedding.

Her support for Gendry's choice to marry twenty-one year old Arya Stark has caused grief within the family. Her father Stannis is horrified at brining in the hellion girl to pollute the bloodlines. Her uncle Robert is thrilled he will finally be an in-law to his best friend. And uncle Renly is loving the drama. Stannis refuses to talk to after she finally stood up to her father during the rehearsal dinner when he was berating Arya for her choice of wardrobe of all things. Ned and Catelyn Stark had looked ready to burst but it was Shireen who finally snapped and told him to shut up or leave. And for the first time in her entire twenty-three years of life Stannis left after he looked at her with disgust and shock.

Arya is a loud mouth, has no respect, and is generally a dirty hellion whose only accomplishment seems to be a gold metal in the 2012 London Olympics in fencing. Shireen sees nothing that makes her anything close to wife material. But apparently Gendry did and does. So Shireen will support her cousin and strive to get along with the girl who is complaining about her already plain dress.

As the maid of honor Sansa struggles to lace up Arya's dress Shireen herself is doing her makeup and trying in vain to cover up the scars on her neck and left hand cheek. The accident that claimed her mother and left glass embedded in her skin is something she never speaks of but it something that still haunts her. Shireen knows she is not beautiful like Sansa with her flaming copper hair and those Tully blue eyes, eyes the color of the sky. She is not wild like Arya with that beautiful brown hair and pale skin and Stark grey eyes that no man can tame.

Shireen is five foot five. She is not fat but she is not skinny like Arya or voluptuous like Sansa. She has pale skin and freckles everywhere. Her curly black hair, the curls inherited from her mother, is untamable and she only wears it up. Her ocean blues eyes are framed by thick eyelashes and heavy eyebrows. She had large hips, good for breeding according to her father, and a generous bosom, according to her rude and surprising friend Asha Greyjoy who would not know tact if it stabbed her in the eyeball with a sword.

She is dressed in a silver bridesmaid dress that is nothing like she would ever wear. It is sleeveless and chiffon and ends just above her knees. It flows and embraces the body she tries to hide. Her long and tangled hair is in an elegant bun at the back of her head while the front is parted to the side in a French braid that leads to the bun. Light make up dusts her face and she wears pearls on her earlobes.

She helps Arya do her makeup and tries not to smile as the shorter woman complains and sneezes when Shireen dusts her cheeks with blush. Finally Sansa announces it is time and Shireen prepares to walk down the isle in the wildwoods of Winterfell, the Stark ancestral home located in the Northern part of Scotland. With its rolling hills and trees and loch Shireen can see why Gendry wanted to be married here and why when Arya talks about it she grows wistful and has a faraway look in her eyes.

Walking down the isle Shireen sees Gendry, locks eyes with her obviously nervous cousin, and playfully winks while smiling at him. To his right is Jon Snow, his best man and friend due to their bastard status (Gendry's words not hers). With his pale curly hair and Stark grey eyes and pale skin and the twinkle in his eyes Shireen can see why all the girls have gone crazy for him. But it is the boy standing next to him that captures Shireen's attention and almost makes her trip over her own feet and drop her bouquet of forget-me-nots, baby's breath, and the Baratheon favorite of white roses.

He is tall, taller than Jon and almost taller than Gendry's six foot five frame. He is lean but has broad shoulders that are hugged by his tuxedo that shows off the muscles in his arms and upper chest. He stands with his hands clasped behind him and when Shireen stands beside Sansa she looks into his eyes and feels like he is drowning. His eyes are like Sansa's, Tully blue. But that is where the similarities end. His are wild and ferocious and seem to be drinking her up as they roam her figure. His hair is blood red and wild. It is not long but it is long enough that is surrounds his eyes. It is then she knows who he is. She immediately feels shame and looks away.

This is Rickon Stark. Rickon Stark, the seventeen year old Stark boy who survived a plane crash that killed his uncle Brendan in northern Alaska and survived nearly a year in the wilderness with only his wolf/Siberian husky hybrid for company. He had been found almost three years ago much to the joy of his family. But since that day the boy has been as wild as the land he was lost in. his temper is legendary and his disdain for anyone who is not his family is well known as well. Gendry has told her is passing that despite this Rickon is no stranger among the females and has burned his way through the teenaged girls in Edinburgh where he attended school. He is now supposedly in his last year after nearly being expelled for fighting with a teacher and sending a fellow student to the hospital. He is the youngest Stark boy, the most wild, and the one Arya is closest too aside from Jon. Shireen has never met him before. And she can't stop staring at him.

During the ceremony she keeps sneaking glances at him only to find his eyes boring into her own. She quickly averts her eyes only for them to be brought back. She feels her breath leaving her, she is almost panting at one point before she shakes her head and summons her iron will. She is Shireen Baratheon. She is made of steel and bone and iron and the sea. She will not act like an infatuated girl to a BOY that is SEVEN years younger than she.

As soon as the ceremony ends and the parities begin to file down the isle she lightly links her arm with his offered one and keeps her gaze ahead. She refuses to even look at him and as soon as they enter the banquet hall she sits at her spot and does her best to stare at a spot on the wall.

As the banquet commences and the speeches begin to come around Shireen begins to relax. Gendry is happy and Arya is smiling and not complaining for once. Sansa is smiling at her boyfriend Willas Tyrell and Ned Stark is looking proud. The time zips by and soon the cake is cut and pictures are being taken and the dancing begins. Shireen watches as Gendry dances with his bride that is over a foot shorter than him and Shireen knows then that this is true love.

Arya looks like she is going to stab the women trying to dance with her husband and Gendry's eyes never leave his bride. So Shireen swallows her tears and dabs at her eyes as she takes pictures. This is the last family function she knows she will attend.

Having spoken with her father the week before about her situation and him practically disowning her Shireen has not told anyone her secret. She has one semester left at Oxford and then she plans on leaving and disappearing someone far away. She will not let her father bully her into doing something she will regret forever. And she will not let Theon Greyjoy shame her into "taking care of the problem" as he so delicately put it.

She hopes no one notices her declining of the alcoholic beverages as she sticks only to the sparkling cider. She can't eat too much as the smell of the meat makes her want to hurl, and the glares Theon is sending her way. She wants to leave but before she can Gendry comes and offers his hand. She smiles and they head out onto the dance floor.

It may surprise everyone around them but both she and Gendry are quite good dancers. They were forced by her father to take classes when she was fourteen. So the pair glide around the dance floor laughing and Shireen catches Jon looking at her. After the dance is over he comes and steals her away. He gets her laughing and soon Shireen is struggling to breathe. She will miss this. She will miss being a part of a family. She knows is she asked Gendry would drop everything to help her. But he is a newly wed and she can't ask him to do that. And she knows Arya would never support her. So she will simply not tell anyone and leave.

It is growing late and Shireen is ready to leave and take off into the night when a deep voice asks her to dance. She looks up and see the boy she has been avoiding staring down at her and offering his large hand. She is about to decline but something in his eyes stops her.

So she hesitantly puts her hand in his and is drawn out of her chair and into his arms. She puts her left hand on his shoulder while his hand goes around her waist while their joined hands are held out. As they sway to the music Shireen looks everyone but him. But when he suddenly pulls her closer Shireen gasps as she stumbles into him and looks into his eyes.

They are bluer than the sky and hungry and filled with something she doesn't dare name. His arm drifts lower and he brings their joined hands in closer as he drops all farces of propriety as he rest his forehead against her own. She feels her breath quickening as he draws her even closer. But it is then his own eyes widen and the song ends and Shireen pulls away.

Stammering she thanks him for the dance and flees. She tells Gendry that she is tired and that she will see him at the gift opening tomorrow. She says goodbye to her uncles and leaves. She grabs her packed suitcase and flees into the taxi that takes to her the city and to the airport. She takes the boarding pass that will get her on the plan to Dublin and from there to who knows where else. She will take her classes online and she will work as a photographer as long as she can in the meantime. She will not allow anyone to make her feel guilty.

And as she leans her head against the widow overlooking the plane wing her hand drifts lower until it lands on her stomach where is cradles her three and a half month bump. The bump the dress cleverly managed to hide after she had it altered. The bump that her father had called a bastard and demanded she get rid of. The bump that Theon Greyjoy had called a mistake that he offered to pay for her to get rid of it. The bump that she loved already. And the bump that Rickon Stark felt. The bump that he felt and before she fled, the bump she is sure caused his eyes to look at her with awe and something else she dare not name.

Shireen makes it to Dublin and stays there a week in a hotel she pays for with the money she inherited from her mother the day she turned eighteen and that her father can't touch. Her phone has not stopped ringing since she landed and eventually she throws it away.

She explores the city and finds a doctor and an apartment and lays low. One week turns into three and soon two months have passed since she left everyone behind. Now five months pregnant Shireen is sure that she has made the right choice. She is sure ever since the doctor showed her the baby; her son. She does not have confirmation yet but Shireen is sure that it will be a boy. She was the first girl born into the family in six generation and as her father often told her, a genetic fluke from her mother's family.

She finishes her classes online and soon graduates with a Masters Degree in Linguistics and History. She think she will have her baby and take photos and then find somewhere to finish her doctorate. Maybe she will move to America or Spain or Paris; somewhere warm and happy.

But those dreams are shattered when she arrives home from an appointment to find Ned Stark sitting in the pathetically small room of her dirty and dingy flat with her godfather Davos standing beside him.

She collapses into the chair across from them where Davos begs her to come home to Storm's End. Her father will take care of everything. She will not have to worry about it.

At this point Shireen's hand rests on her bump and she ignores everything he says. It is only when Ned Stark locks eyes with her; those grey eyes full of pity and something akin to wonder, that she knows what will happen. She knows this is much too similar to the situation his sister Lyanna faced decades ago. So when he quietly tells her she is welcome to stay in Winterfell she surprises herself and Davos by saying yes before he is even done talking.

She wants to go to the last place she felt truly happy. She knows she will be safe there. She goes on the condition her father is not allowed to see her. Ned, who has never quite gotten along with her father, agrees. And soon forty-eight hours later Shireen is entering the grounds of Winterfell once more. It is almost Christmas and snow is covering the ground and she falls even more in love with the country around her than before.

It is only when Ned tells her that Rickon is the only child home for the holidays she freezes and looks around the grounds. Near the edge of the shore of the loch she sees a large wolf like creature as black as night approaching with his master close behind. He is just as wild as the last time she saw him and her breath catches once again.

He does not see her until he is closer. He freezes once he does. She feels those wild eyes take in her figure; her growing breasts and weight gain and protruding stomach. Neither of them say anything and neither of them break eyes contact.

The silence is broken by his father who asks Shireen which bags she wants him to bring in. just as she is about to reply Rickon shocks them both by saying he will be taking in her luggage in a protective and possessive tone that has Ned narrowing his eyes and making her breath catch once more.

Just like that those wild eyes lock with hers once more. Just like that she feels the earth below her and air around her and sky above her move. And just like that Shireen knows she is doomed.


	2. Chapter 2

_Isn't strange how much things can change in a single year. Was it not amazing how much a single life could change others around it? And was it not awful how much impulsive decision could tears asunder what was supposed to be a strong relationship and bury it in the ground. _

_Shireen felt these questions go through her head as she took and deep breathe, held the bouquet of yellow roses in her arms, counted to ten, and turned to the one man, who aside from Gendry, has been her rock in the past five months. He has stood by her and held her hand when her own father had denied her the familial bonds she needed and craved once she has settled into Winterfell. He was the one man who had never judged her and the one man who she could honestly say she had been wrong about most of her life. But she liked to think she was making up for it now. She looks and sees eyes the same color as her own staring at her with concern and love. And she smiled slightly at the man who shares the same name as her three month old son and knows he will help keep her steady as she walks down the aisle on what should be the happiest day of any woman's life. Instead her wedding day feels like a death sentence she can not shake off. _

_So she sighs once more for the last time and prepares to face her sentence; to do what she must to protect her son and ensure he remains with her and no one else. She is breaking her own heart and tearing it out in the process but she feels that this is what parenthood must feel like; putting the needs of the child before your own no matter how much it hurts and aches and bleeds and kills. _

_Her uncle Robert offers her his arm and she takes it and soon begins the walk the will lead her to the end of the aisle where Theon Greyjoy awaits and where they will be married before God and where Shireen will become a Greyjoy to protect her son and where her heart will mourn forever that it is not a boy with wild hair and a quiet yet fierce strength instead. _

_A boy who has confused her and a boy who she thinks she could have loved but would break her all the same. And at the end it comes down to a simple fact; Rickon Stark is a boy. A boy who would look at her with such emotion one day and then when he was home from school on the weekends fall into bed with a new girl every time she saw him. He is a boy who she knows hated her for a moment when it was revealed Theon, the boy who nearly killed his brother in a drunken driving accident, was the father of her child. He is a boy whom could never give her what she needs or wants._

_A home, stability, food on the table, love for her son. She has not forgiven Theon and a part of her knows she never will. But he was there for her during the birth and was the third person to hold her son. She knows he loves him. He has promised to help her and if Shireen knows anything Theon Greyjoy is a man of his word, however broken and dirty his word may be. He is a man who she knows she will never love but who will give her son everything he needs. Theon Greyjoy is a man. Rickon Stark is a boy. And she is ripping her soul apart and killing her dreams and she can't afford to risk her son by betting that sometime in the future a boy could become a man who could love her. So she takes the road that ends with a man whom she knows will not let her down; in this area at least. _

_So in order to protect Robbie Steffon Anders Bartheon Greyjoy Shireen will do what she must and become Shireen Greyjoy. So as she reaches the end of the aisle where Theon stands with Gendry beside him with Asha waiting on her own side Shireen draws her strength from her Uncle Roberts reassuring gaze and does her best not to lose her composure. She feels nothing but a pit in her stomach that seems to grow as Theon slides the plane gold ring onto her finger and when he kisses her it grows. When they are pronounces husband and wife and they turn and look out at everyone in the simple small chapel pews, her Uncle Renly, Ned Stark, Jon Snow, and Brienne Toth, her childhood sitter and the nurse who helped deliver her son, Shireen looks at the small babe held in Ned Stark's hands and swallows down the lump in her throat and steels her spine. She is a mother. She will do what she needs to do for her child's sake. Nothing else matters. _

Robbie Steffon Anders is born in the early hours of a June morning. He arrives screaming with a shock full of black hair weighing almost twelve pounds. His eyes are the pale green that both Asha and Theon share with curls that he inherited from his mother. His cousin and godfather is the first one to hold him in his large hands. His namesake and great uncle in the second. His father is the third, his aunt and godmother the fourth. His mother is not able to hold him as the doctors race to save her from the hemorrhaging that is racking her body and the blood pooling on the bed.

Gendry Waters looks at the baby lying in the nursery bed and then walks down the hall to join the others in the waiting game. To see if Shireen will survive or die and leave her son to be cared for by himself and Theon and the other members of their strange patchwork family. He reaches to rub the wedding band that no longer lies on his finger and some days he wishes that Arya was beside him. But he knows he made the right choice. He never should have proposed to the wild girl she was too young and willful and could never compromise. And that was what made him love her. But when her fury was directed at his cousin who was more like a sister and she demanded he choose something inside of him broke. So he did what she told him to do. He told his wife to get out of the house and to never come back. A week later he signed divorce papers, took off his ring, and threw himself into becoming a godfather and uncle and to try and forget the girl who would not even try to accept his coming godson and even demanded he be given up for adoption and that she would never tolerate being around a Greyjoy baby bastard.

He looks down the hallway and sees Theon pacing with Asha glaring at him and his own father simply staring at the ceiling. Everyone, including himself, had been shocked and surprised by how fast Robert had raced to the side of his pregnant niece and how she had clung to him and got along well with the newly divorced drunk who more often than not was loudly proclaiming if she needed him to he would gladly geld Theon for her, quite often when said Greyjoy was in hearing distance of said proclamation.

So she had shocked them all when after over thirty hours of labor she had whispered out her sons name before her eyes rolled back and the heart monitor began to stutter. Now the few people aside from Ned, who was picking up Jon from the airport, who were in Shireens life were here waiting to hear any type of news; good or bad. And so it was that Gendry collapsed against the wall wishing for nothing more than his little wildling to be safe in his arms and Shireen beside him as it was always meant to be.

Silence reigns and soon Gendry looks at the wall and becomes lost in his thoughts once more. He almost seems to sink into a trance until the doctor comes out; his blue scrubs covered in blood. Shireen has survived. But the damage done to her uterus and organs will make it very hard for her to carry any other children to term; let alone deliver them naturally.

His cousin wakes up three hours later confused and begging for her son. Gendry is the one who delivers the news. Shireen begins to sob and bang her feeble fists against his chest and Asha demands everyone else but him leave. The sobbing continues and Shireen wants to know why. Gendry calms her down the only way he knows how. He tells her that he will always be there for her; it is still them against the world, but now her son will be the third musketeer. He whispers this over and over again and he is not sure if she can hear him over he own sobs.

But eventually she calms down and then asks him in the smallest voice if he is ever going to leave her. And he replies no; he will always be there. And in that moment Gendry feels his heart break a little. He wants and yearns for Arya but knows he must stay here with his broken cousin, who is yearning and mourning for something he does not quite understand. Arya, who was far off in the distance before, is now out of reach. He had hoped that someday she would be able to accept the baby. But he has made a promise. And then and there he vows he will protect the child most of his family does not seem to want; it reminds him so much of himself it is pitiful.

Shireen is barely holding herself together. She is not yet strong enough to even hold her son who is sleeping in a small crib next to her bed. Her uncle is drunk and sleeping on the widow seat with a bottle of booze that he snuck in his hand, Theon and Asha have left to go and gather some of the things from Winterfell for the baby and Gendry is out starching his legs after struggling to fall asleep in the small chair beside her bed.

It is then she hears and noise and she looks up from the wall and sees him. With his wild hair and eyes and nature. It is then she knows that she can never tame Rickon Stark and it is then she knows that he will never be able to accept her son. She is not a true woman anymore. She will not be able to give him Stark babies with those damned grey eyes or wild hair or pale skin or strong nose. He will grow to hate her and her son will never have what he deserves. So she opens her mouth to say something but soon whatever words she was about to speak are swallowed by the mouth of Rickon Stark.

His lips are chapped and dry but Shireen finds she does not care as she responds unconscientiously with her mouth opening allowing his tongue access and her soul relief. Her weak hands barely manage to life and wrap themselves around his neck while his own circle her waist softly and pull her to him. The kiss and embrace seem to go on forever. When he pulls away he takes some of her loose and frizzy hair and pushes it behind her ear. He still says nothing and the look in his eyes are softer than anything she has ever seen before. She opens her mouth to say that she wants him near and cares for him and is willing to try if he is. She is willing to forget the promises she has made to Robbie and to Theon and to herself is he is willing to try. But then he looks down and sees the engagement ring on her hand and something breaks.

His eyes turn cold and he roughly withdraws his warmth and hands and turns and walks out of the room without a single word. Shireen simply sits there staring at the wall. And it is only when Gendry walks in and Robbie wakes and begins to cry that she comes back to reality and she breaks once more. She begins to sob and she can not stop. Rickon Stark is nothing but a boy. A boy who walked out rather than simply talk to her; a word or a grunt or anything. He can not give her what she needs.

So she will marry Theon to keep Balon Greyjoy away from her son. She will keep the patriarch of the Greyjoy clan away from her son even if he has the power of the revenge obsessed Cersei Lannister behind him. She will do what she has to in order to protect the only child she will most likely ever have. But she will and face all of that tomorrow. Right now she will simply cry and hold on to the solid things in her life. The arms of her cousin, the cries of her son, the snores of her uncle.

And so she cries until the dawn comes. Cries for what could have been, what will be, and what should have never happened. And in the end Shireen knows her son is the only thing keeping her together.

*********Thanks for all of the comments and support! The next update should be coming soon! And it will have more rickon and Shireen goodness. And don't worry they will end up together. Both just have a lot of growing up to do! R&R!**********


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