Fullmetal Alchemist 1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

A/N: slight ooc Ed rated M for mentions of cutting and sevre post tramatic stress sydrome along with survivor's guilt. Inspired by Three Days Grace - never too late. But NOT a song fic.

The weight of what had transpired over the last few years was starting to haunt the blonde alchemist. He had gotten his arm back and Al's body too but it seemed that wasnt enough. Since so many people died to help them if only they hadnt started to kick up so much 'dirt' about the labratory than maybe Hughes would still be alive. Ed missed him and he started to convince himself that Roy blamed him for Hughes' death.

-Ed's pov-

"I didnt want other people to die just so I could get my arm and Al his body. Roy blames me I just know it." I dont know when I had started to talk to myself but it was happening alot lately. Everytime I close my eyes i see that goofy smile and glasses, that little girl with braids and the dog, that old man from Xing and countless other faces. All asking me why couldnt I just leave it be than maybe just maybe they would still be here. Before I knew it I was on the wooden floor surrounded by broken glass of the mirror.

-Roy's pov-

"Sir im worried, Fullmetal's been like this for weeks now. From what Alphonse has relayed Ed hasnt been eating much, sleeping and he would come to there apartment and see another thing broken." Roy had to admit he had started to worry too and at that his concern only strengthened. But what could he honestly do? Fullmetal doesnt exactly let people help him, thats how he's always been. And besides the raven haired General could tell that Ed is avoiding him. The other day he couldve sworn the blonde flinched when Roy raised his arm to grab a book. "That is concerning, however I dont know what I would be able to do, he doesnt exactly listen to me." Riza just sighed from a couch in Roy's office.

Anyone who cared to look could see that Edward Elric was slipping. Roy had already been visited by Havok, Breda, Fury and even Armstrong who voiced there concerns over Ed's disturbing behavior. Roy knew however that this cant be handled in the rough shot manner that Armstrong usually employs. And told him so though the blonde haired muscle man didnt look convinced he agreed which should have shown Roy sooner that the situation is more grave than he thinks. He was going on logical thinking though and logic dictated that Ed could handle this on his own. If only he knew that he couldnt be more wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

I STILL DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST.

-Ed's pov

Im not sure how long Al had been talking before his voice reached my ears that afternoon. Now several days had passed since I broke the mirror and Al found me surronded by shards of glass. I lifted up my shirt in front of the sink in the bathroom to see the diagonal cuts on amber skin blood red the same red as the stone we had wanted to create so badly. For selfish reasons with ragged breaths I slid the razor across my skin red blossomed from the new cut. Thank gods Al hadnt noticed them everythings started to remind me of that. Somehow cutting helped but for the life of me I cant describe why. Minute creaks from outside the door told me someone was here quickly pulling down my shirt and tossing the razor under the floor board I heard knocking a fist on oak wood gentle but firm.

Noone knew how bad it had truely gotten. Still the suspicions grew and Roy's unit was growing increasingly concerned that latest episode though absolutely frightened a usually stoic second leutinent. Things seemed to be spirialing she didnt want to see Ed hurt himself or others. Although she had no proof that would be the case she had been noting Fullmetal's increasingly upsetting behavior he'd been flustered. And everyone in Roy's unit although they didnt want to witnessed the scene hushed apologies from the blonde where accompanied with him fumbling to fix the broken radio that was accidently knocked over he'd been startled when Roy asked if he's ok since Ed looked like his mind was else where. In the end he managed to concentrate long enough to fix the radio before leaving the room claiming he needed fresh air. Everyone looked grave after that never had they seen the young alchemist so unnerved like that.

-Roy's pov

Although he kept his masks in place the flame alchemist was aboslutely stunned. It was unnatural to see his subordinate become flustered by something so trivial normally Fullmetal would make a joke or something and fix it no problem. This time Roy just didnt know what to make of it all. A week had passed since than after more concerns where voiced to him. Along with his own worry and concern Roy decided he would take action on this conversing quietly with Alphonse who told him about the apparent nightmares that had his brother waking up and sobbing in the middle of the night while Al pretended to be asleep still. The phone still to his ear after a click signaled Alphonse hung up. He sat there wondering what could be causing this ofcouse Roy had his suspicions however he didnt dare worrying the younger Elric brother anymore than he already is. Handling this had to be done delicatly and if Mustang's suspicions proved to be right than he would have to act fast only hoping that he wasnt too late.


	3. Chapter 3

I STILL DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

-Ed's pov

By now my chest was riddled with the story of my desperation for relief. Some how pain is an escape I need just to survive no one needs to know this, or that my dreams where getting worse too still the faces of everyone who innocently died haunted me. Tormenting me a constant reminder of how selfish we had been, the other day I found myself with shards of glass in my arm. I thought I'd seen little Nina and her dog outside playing asking 'little brother' if we could play now. The same words spoken before she died after being turned into chimera by her own father the first casuality in everything. An innocent little girl that we couldn't save even though she had done nothing wrong. She hadn't deserved that but died anyway her face haunted me the most it seemed even more than Hughes'.

Since his phone call with Alphonse the general's worry and concern made the decision on his next move obvious. He had been biding his time trying to both figure out what the cause is and how to go about talking him. If this was done wrong than it could make things considerably worse. Still he knew he couldn't just do nothing about it anymore not with the latest development. It had Roy leaving the office and heading down nearly empty streets going to find out if his suspicions where right secretly hoping that it's not as bad as the raven haired man thinks.

-Roy's pov

It might storm tonight he thought to himself coming back from Dr. Knox's house who gave the facts of what this could be. And those facts weren't good based on Roy' not noticing minute drops of rain fall on his gloves. Suspicions confirmed now he could only hope he wasn't too late Riza had threatened to shoot him if he kept waiting something that had been unneeded because Roy had decided waiting any longer wasn't going to help. Walking up the stairs he knocked on an old style wood door. When the door opened amber eyes looked up at him his subordinate was an open book however the general didn't like what he saw. Dark eyes took in the sight of him cataloging injuries and taking in what was being offered to him. "Can I come in Fullmetal?"


	4. Chapter 4

I STILL DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

A/N: Sorry I took such a long delay to update

Roy kept his composure even though he was more alarmed now that he caught Ed off guard he was seeing what Al had been reporting to him. To say it is upsetting doesn't even begging to cover it but still the general has to keep a level head here so he doesn't upset Fullmetal or scare him. Still the situation demanded he talk to the blonde and find out what caused this and what he can do to help.

Ed's pov

Shit I didn't think Roy would show up here. I knew I must looked scared because those eyes where just starring at me. Making me uncomfortable to say the least and I didn't like it but didn't dare tell him so. My desire to not be hurt winning out over my once 'smart ass mouth' as greed had called it. Still my head is screaming at me to run, move, something but my legs refuse to cooperate. I didn't have time to stop the flinch as Mustang had his hand outstretched reaching behind me for the door. I just nodded and walked further inside so he could shut the door I did a once over of my shirt making sure the scars where still hidden.

Roy's pov

This puzzled the flame alchemist all he did was outstretch his hand to shut the door yet Ed flinched like he had been hit. Or he was expecting to be hit realization started to form in his head it seems obvious now. Ed's expecting reprimand or punishment but why it doesn't make sense Fullmetal did nothing wrong. So now the question is why does he expect to be punished. That's what Roy has to figure out now and the only way to that is to talk to a certain blonde alchemist.


	5. Chapter 5

I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

It hurt Roy to realize all of this just now not only was it a blow to his pride but it all amounted to time wasted in helping the blonde. He had to figure all of this out now for Ed's sake only for Ed.

Roy's POV

His expression softened as he tried to calm his subordinate who it seemed at least to him was getting anxious. Motioning for him to sit down Roy having sat down on the couch at the far end he watched said blonde alchemist sit down giving a good amount of distance between them. Ed had been avoiding any and all kinds of eye contact with me since I walked in the door but I had to be patient getting frustrated wouldn't help anything. Roy tried to figure out the best way to approach this and decided he just had to be direct so he did expression still calm and worried "Fullmetal this isn't like you but I can't help if you don't tell me." He waited a minute trying to read the older Elric's expression still sensing his anxiousness he kept talking "is it something anyone did, did someone hurt you?" Though the thought of someone even daring to try and harm him made his blood boil but than he noticed Ed's head move from left to right in a side to side motion. So the raven haired man dismissed that anger "was it something I did" he noted how his subordinate froze at that.

Ed's POV

How in the hell am I expected to answer that? No I'm over thinking this I just need to calm down and relax so slightly I shook my head again my mind spinning as I scrambled to stay calm. The anxiety overwhelming my senses and making me feel afraid just like I had been the first time I went through the portal of truth the night we made the biggest mistake of our lives. Nothing was working and I knew now I was shaking despite myself everything was crashing around me now and I couldn't hold this back anymore. The flood gates where opening so I let them tears started to spill from my eyes and I cried letting it all out not looking at Mustang instead I turned my back to him but it seemed like he was waiting for me to finish my break down.

Roy hadn't expected that he'd not seen the alchemist cry for years now. He wanted to comfort him but knew how Ed felt about his personal space so the raven hair waited patiently for him to calm down. He noticed a bit of amber looking at him and the guilt in that same amber iris. Not understanding what his subordinate would have to feel guilty about he still hadn't done anything wrong so there shouldn't be any reason for it. "Just do whatever you're going to do already, hit me, yell at me., just do it and get it over with." His voice was shaky at best as he turned back around to face the wall.


End file.

Fullmetal Alchemist, Friendship, Hurt-Comfort