Naruto 1. Loss

The silence echoed hauntingly, after the commotion only minutes before. She lay weary on blood crusted sheets. She had already delivered the placenta, and she had still not heard her baby cry. This could just not be happening; already four miscarriages, but this one she carried to term. It must be aright, it just had to be.

She raised a shaky hand. "Give me my baby." Though her hand was shaky her voice was strong, she had learned to produce the queens voice dead tired long ago.

Their were tears in Tatiana's eyes as she laid the baby in my arms. "I'm so sorry Kushina, he won't last the night. Take your time and say goodbye to your son." With that she drifted out of the room.

Holding the boy close she felt the tears as they slipped down her face to fall on the face that was so close in appearance to his father Manuel. "Hello my little Nathaniel, I have been a pretty crappy mom so far, I could not even deliver you into this world save." The tears dried up as she kissed his small delicate head, "But I will be damned if I accept this, you will live. I will make sure of that." Rocking the baby in her arms she started to sing.

_Sleep, little pigeon, and fold your wings,-  
Little blue pigeon with velvet eyes;  
Sleep to the singing of mother-bird swinging-  
Swinging the nest where her little one lies._

_Away out yonder I see a star,-_  
_Silvery star with a tinkling song;_  
_To the soft dew falling I hear it calling-_  
_Calling and tinkling the night along._

_In through the window a moonbeam comes,-_  
_Little gold moonbeam with misty wings;_  
_All silently creeping, it asks, "Is he sleeping-_  
_Sleeping and dreaming while mother sings?"_

The struggled breathing has stopped but I did not allow myself to stop.

_Up from the sea there floats the sob  
Of the waves that are breaking upon the shore,  
As though they were groaning in anguish, and moaning-  
Bemoaning the ship that shall come no more._

_But sleep, little pigeon, and fold your wings,-_  
_Little blue pigeon with mournful eyes;_  
_Am I not singing?-see, I am swinging-_  
_Swinging the nest where my darling lies._

Laying the still body in the crib she tucks Nathaniel dead body in. "Just wait my Darling, and I will come wake you soon."

She let the bloodied birthing robe hit the floor, walked to the dresser, and quickly pulled on a clean dressing gown. There was no time to waste.

Opening the door she sees Manuel crying on the floor. Kneeling on the floor before her husband, she takes his wet cheeks into her hands. "Don't give up my love, we have magic we can utilize." She brushes away the tears, "Our wedding present from Serbia."

Manuel jerks his head away, "You can't be serious! You would leave our country defenseless?!" Shaking his head sadly he lowered his voice, and pulled her to him. "Let him go. We can always try again"

She let herself take comfort in his embrace, but even though his argument made sense, she just had to try. Steeling herself to betray his trust she reached a sneaking a hand (hidden in the action of their embrace) to the necklace around his neck. "I'm sorry Manuel." She ripped the key from him as she broke his embrace. "I promised our son that I would try."

She dashed back into the room, and grabbed Nathaniel from his crib, cradling him to her breast. Turning and finding the door blocked by Manuel, she spun on her heal, and headed for the secret passageway. She used her shoulder to push the rotating wall in. As soon as she was in, she quickly closed, and locked the wall with the metal bar hanging by the doorway.

_Not even you will stop me husband_ she thought as she ignored Manuel shouts. She ran blind down the stairs, tripping as often as not, but not even that was enough to slow her flight. She had to get to the vault before Manuel alerted the guards to stop her. When the hand on the wall met empty space, she dashed in the opening, halfway there. She passed another turn of and took the next one. She forced herself to slow, so she could count her steps. Twenty steps in, she stopped, and took a minute to collect herself. Then felt along the wall for the doorway that she knew was there. The seventh shove met with little resistance and light flowed in.

She peeked into the slot, the two guards looked at ease. She sent up a thank you to the gods, she had beat the alarm. She pushed the passage door all the way open and slid through. Walking up calmly to them she nodded to them both.

They showed no reaction to her being here, they bowed, and stepped aside. "Mistress, congratulations."

She thanked them, and walked up to the vault. She merged Manuel's key with hers, and unlocked the vault with the now combined key. She closed the door behind her.

Slumping against the doors she breathed a sigh of relief. She had beat any warning to block her way. Grabbing a tiara off a nearby shelf, she arranged it into her red locks. There she had her cover story for why she was here. She could now turn her attention to the real reason she was here.

She used the key again in a small chest, and withdrew the glass container within. The magic potion that Serbia had gifted them at their wedding. Lifting it up she studied it, it did seem magical. A deep red penetrated periodically with odd reflections of other colors as is swirled around in its bottle. Felling that she would get caught in a trance if she stared at it much longer, she put the container between Nathaniel's blankets.

She gave a nod to the guards as she left, and locked the vault. She did not rush her steps as she made her way to the library, though the threat of warning coming made her want to. When she was sure she was out of sight, and hearing she speed up, and she talked to Nathanial "Nothing will get in the way of us being together now." In minutes she had locked herself within the castle's library.

Knowing that she could work faster if she had both hands, she laid Nathanial on the seat by the fireplace. Continuing to the back of the room, she used the combined key into the locked bookshelf that contained all the information not available to the public.

Her eyes roamed the bookshelf for a small leather-bound book, dyed a dark blue. She knew it was the one that contained Serbia spells, stolen of course by spies stationed in Serbia. Finding it on the second shelf she slipped it out from the two large books it was squished between.

She clutched the book to her chest, and sent a quick prayer above, if she did not find a spell in here that would help her son; all hope was lost.

Sitting down from across from her son, she cracked the book open to read. She had only finished skimming the first 3 pages when the banging on the doors started.

"Kushina open this door, before I order it to be broken into!" Manuel shouted, his voice sounding hollow threw the door.

"Go Away!" She quickly walked to the bookshelf closest to the door; and started pulling down the books. Trying to be as quiet as she could, not wanting to alert the guards.

"You know I can't do that." After the first shelf was cleared she tried to push the bookshelf onto the door, amazingly she found the strength to do so. It made a loud crash as it toppled to the ground before the door; blocking it.

Letting loose a laugh she called out to her husband and the guards "I would like to see you try forcing your way in now!" Going to the bookshelf on the other side of the room, she did the same with it. As the thud of a ram on the door started, the noise was doubled by bang the second bookshelf hitting the falling bookcase. Confident that it would hold for quite some time, she went back to the task at hand; Saving her son.

She had read the first half of the notebook, when the sound creased "Finally..." she muttered, she almost winced at the cattiness she heard in her voice.

With the quietness of the library she was able to read much faster and only a few minutes passed, and she was about three quarters of the way through, when she was sure she had found what she was looking for, her heart almost skipped a beat. There in black and white was a strengthen spell. It would work, it had to. Now what do I need? An animal sacrifice? "Oh Fuck! How the hell am I going to get something like that in here?" Her eyes drifted to a fox throw cover, "That might work, I can substitute the potion for the animals blood to draw the symbols."

Tucking the book under her arm she went and picked up Nathaniel, unwrapping him from the covers. Laying him naked onto the table in front of her, she grabbed the throw cover, and went through the preparations for the spell. She gently pushed Nathaniel's head to one side, and laid the stuffed fox head next to him, nose to nose. She then took the paw and placed it in Nathaniel's small hand. Taking a steadying breath she popped the cork from the bottle.

She had just started to draw, when the most unexpected happened; a squeeze to her posterior, it shocked her enough to jerk, messing up the symbols she was drawing. Heart pounding in fear and rage she twirled around. Seeing an unfamiliar man she did what came so easily when showing female rage to a man, she slapped him.


	2. Forbidden Magic

"Who the hell are you; and how the Fuck did you get in here?!"

The man lifted a hand to rub his cheek, but dropped it as he said "Jiraiya, master of the Wind, at your service." He dropped into a bow. "I'm here because you opened the Vial." He raised one of his white eyebrows, "Did you think we would let you mess around with magic contained within? You would probably kill yourself. Now what am I here for?" He did wait for her to answer, but reached past her, to pick the book up off the table. "Spirit merge?" he snorted "Not going to work. I assume you are trying to bring him back to life? Don't you realize that a spell like that would be forbidden magic, it makes a mockery of life itself."

_Forbidden, like I will let that stop me._ She grabbed Jiraiya's hand. "Please bring my baby back to me. I won't tell anyone what you did."

Leaning over, Jiraiya whispered in her ear, it took all her will not to pull away from the stink of morning breath. "Darling, that's no easy thing, and all forbidden magic comes at a great cost-are you willing to pay it?"

"I would pay any price to have him back."

"Are you sure about that? To do it a life is required, a life for a life as the saying goes."

"Alright." She never thought anything would prompt her to willingly kill herself-but for this she was willing. She took a deep breath to calm herself, and sealed the blow, "Take mine."

A smile appeared on Jiraiya's face, and she knew that she was about to die. She closed her eyes so she that would not see it coming, and change her mind at the last second.

"Quite determined aren't you, but there is no need to go that far." That was enough to get her to open her eyes to stare stupidly up at him.

Jiraiya placed a hand on her stomach. "A woman carries the lives of many within her. Could you live with the thought that he would be your last? Could you hold your son for 3 years, then walk away, knowing that your arms will never carry another baby within them."

"Walk away! I could never do that!" She slapped away the hand draped over her stomach.

"Alright then, I will reseal the Vial and go." Jiraiya reached across her for the vial.

"Wait! Don't go." She pushed his hand way from the vial. "But you have to understand, I can't let him go after 3 years! He's the prince, the only one this kingdom will have according to you."

"Well besides being a prince he would also be a magician. You think Konohagakure would let you have a magician on the throne. Think again little lady." He shook his head. "Besides, think of all the damage he could do if he wasn't trained. He would probably kill himself by blowing himself up."

A sob escaped her, as she sank to the floor racked with indecision. Could she give up the heir to the throne- and to another country at that- and leave Nihongo without a ruler? It could start a Civil War.

_I guess there is always Konohamaru._ The face of Minato nephew popped into her mind. _If we made him the official heir; could we prevent war?_ She tilted her head up, looking at Naruto. She had promised to do anything to bring him back. "Alright, go ahead"

A perverted look spread across Jiraiya face, and she felt the a shiver of disgust run through her. This filthy old man had already dared to lay hands on her. The look did not sit well with her, not at all. "Alright take of your panties."

She gritted her teeth an felt her brow crease, as she fought the urge to not just slap him, but punch him, but her determination to save her son was greater. So all she allowed herself was scathing words. "You are going to demand that of me too? You disgust me." The skirt was half way up, before Jiraiya spun on his heel away from her.

"You misunderstood me. I just need your womb blood for the ritual." He held his hand out waiting. The bloody garment was dropped into it in short order. With garment in hand he approached the lifeless body on the table, She was quick to get out of the way.

Jiraiya dipped his index finger in the warm blood, and drew on Naruto's bellybutton. Knowing that he could not see her, she let the weakness that was catching up with her show, leaning on the back of the chair. As he started to turn towards her, she straitened again, she would not show weakness to this man. Jiraiya handed back the panties to her, "There is no reason that you should have to spoil the dress."

Taking the garment she whispered, "Thank You." All she got was a grunt in response.

She watched as he wiped the excess of blood on his pants, and then just stared at the boy. The question, when he asked it, startled her.

"Where could I get something sharp?"

"Whatever for? Do you need it for the spell?"

"No, I'm going to give him a tattoo, might as well do that when he can't feel a thing."

"Y-you can't _Tattoo_ a **Baby**!" Her anger was doubled by the fact that all through the conversation, he was wondering around the room, opening drawers. _Did he not think that this conversation warranted his attention! The bastard!_

"We do it all the time in Konoha. Gives them a fearsome look it does, and shows the rank in status, as the Tattoo grows in relation to our power." Opening a drawer he found a letter opener. "Perfect." As he walked back to Naruto, he slit his thumb. "It also stops any backlash in magic from a blotched spell. Every magician needs one at least somewhere." With the blood from his thumb, Jiraiya drew something onto his palm. _It sure looks as if magicians use a lot of blood, I wonder if it just forbidden spells where blood is needed. _

Before he reached the table, he had finished drawing the symbol on his hand, but when he slammed it into the table by Naruto's feet, she was not proud of the fact that she jumped just a little bit.

"I summon the demon Gamakichi" Where his hand once was, there appeared a small red frog wearing a blue shirt.

Gamakichi lifted one of his hands, "Yo, what is up boss man?" A talking frog, this day could not get any weirder, what is next, flying pigs?

Jiraiya poised the letter opener in a striking position above the amphibian. "Open up."

Gamakichi's hands shot up, and covered his reptilian mouth "Ah, _Hell _no! Everything tastes disgusting for weeks from the ink."

Jiraiya waved the vial in front of the little toad, "I will give you a lick."

The toad tilted his head to the side, as he thought about it. Less then 30 seconds had passed before Gamakichi caved, "Two, and you got yourself a deal!"

Jiraiya nodded, "OK, one now, and the other when I'm done." Jiraiya shook the vial, then dipped his index finger in. She was totally flabbergasted when she saw him arch his back, and shiver in reaction to this. He held it out to Gamakichi, who's tongue shot out, and licked it off. After swallowing, Gamakichi obediently stuck out his tongue for use.

Jiraiya ran his thumb down the slippery appendage. He stopped halfway down, and drove the letter opener in. The letter opener came out coated in a thick black ink. Jiraya then bent over Naruto to dig the knife into his cheeks. Setting down the knife he put his thumb in the still leaking tongue, and smeared an extra layer of ink on top of the slowly leaking wounds.

"Now Gamakichi, I want you to go to summoning pad in my house, and tell Anko that I will have to stay here for a while. I think about three weeks should be good." Jiraiya held out another drop to the toad. "Now be gone with you." Even before the tongue returned to the frog's mouth, the frog had disappeared into smoke; leaving in his wake the smell of brimstone.

Jiraiya once again dipped his finger into the potion, and drew once again on Naruto's bellybutton. As Jiraiya withdrew his hand he muttered something in Konoha, and Naruto started to emit a red light. As she watched Naruto opened his eyes, but instead of blue, his eyes were the same red as the light that was surrounding him. But that mattered little to her, he was alive and that was all that mattered; But as the light faded, Naruto still had the sickly pallor of the dead. Quickly her eyes drifted to the chest praying it would move. When it didn't she had to sit down as the dejection overtook her.

"Prepare to be in a world of hurt Kushina." Giving her no time to do so, he again muttered in Konoha.

His words where drowned out by my own scream, as burning/tearing sensation started in her stomach -worse then the pain of child birth - And the pain only grew worse. When it came, she blissfully welcomed the release the darkness promised her.


	3. Into the void

"Then what are you doing sitting there, you have to pack, Naruto will be fine for a while on the bed."

"I know it is hard for someone like you Kushina too pack, as this is only the second move in your life; but before I came here I was a doctor, and a doctor needs to be able to leave at the drop of a hat. It should not be more then five minuets for me to pack."

"Ya, but that was seven years ago Tsunade, of course it will take you more then five minuets"

"Pack."

Kushina felt like she was a five year old being told off and unconsciously wound up acted like it by completely ignoring her. _How could Tsunade react that way when she was only trying to look out for her. Well five minutes was all Tsunade was going to get._ Kushina headed to her most prized possession, the blood statue of Zephyr. _For some reason Zephyr had hatched for me. That one in a million chance of becoming a dragon priestess had changed my life forever. Why couldn't Minato see that this was Narutos one in a million chance, without it he would not be alive, so what that he is now a mage? Well who needs him, we will get along just find without him._ She shook her head shaking away the angry thoughts, and carried the statue to be cradled in her first bag. She collected and packed mementos as she debated taking a portrait of her and Minato. She took the smallest painting, because she knew though she was angry at him now, she had truly loved him. Everything of hers that she could think of was packed, she looked down, half a bag left. Kushina took it over the next room, Naruto's would be nursery. The bag was quickly filled with baby cloths.

The ball of anxiety in her stomach was building. She put on a fake smile as she went back to join Tsunade in the main bedroom. She shouldered both of the packs. When they where resting comfortably on her shoulders, she took Naruto from Tsunade, and they headed across the hall to Tsunade room.

She had never had an occasion to peek into Tsunade's closet, but she only had one set of cloths hanging, the rest was tucked into two bags resting on the bottom of the closet. She folded up the hanging set of cloths, and laid them in one bag. Then she picked up both bags and put them on. Walking around the room she took a few bottles, and knick-knacks, and put them in the bag not holding cloths. That was when Kushina saw that the second was neatly lined with various bottles, and instruments that she had used a few times on her. Some of the things in there Kushina could not even guess at. True to her word it took her less then five minuets to pack. "Show off." Kushina muttered under her breath.

They where halfway down the hallway when Kushina's nerves got the better of her. Though she had been around magic before, she had never entered a transportation spell. "We should ask if we can ride to Konoha. A month can't make that much difference can it?"

"What are you scared you wont make it there in one piece?" Tsunade teased with a smirk appearing on her face.

"So what if I am. It's not as if I know how the spell works. Maybe it does take you apart and put you back together again."

"If it makes you feel better, I have never heard of it ending in dismemberment."

"Like they would tell anybody about it. Konohagakure is the only place that practices it. If it was safe don't you think it would be more wide spread?"

"Think of it like this. Almost no one can say that they have done it. Besides that was they way he got here isn't it. Tells you he can do the spell."

"I still think this is messed up."

"Do you think this might just be you balking at the way things have taken, and trying to procrastinate hoping, Minato will change his mind and call you back?"

"No, I'm not." Kushina let the anger carry her all the way to the courtyard.

"Jiraiya."

"That was quick, I am not quite ready yet."

_Of course not._ "Then call when you are." She maneuvered the bags off her shoulders, and walked into the gardens. _Just what I need, time to think of all the things that could go horribly wrong. _

She noticed that Tsunade had joined her. "Did you know this was the first place I tried my hand at gardening that did not have a purpose except to be beautiful. I really enjoyed it. You think I could work in the gardens when we get there? It is not like I will have any other use."

"Stop that. You still have two great years to be the excellent mother I know you can be. Don't dwell on the future until it comes." She laid a hand on Kushina's shoulder. "You could always go back to Aries and be a priestess again. I'm sure Zephyr would be thrilled to see you again" They came to a bench in the middle of the maze, and they both sat, watching the swirling insects in silence. They had never needed pointless chatter between them. Her presence was more then enough.

Jiraiya's voice broke the silence, "Come to me, and let me take you to paradise beautiful ladies."

Kushina fought the urge to role her eyes at the lame joke. "I doubt you could old man. Lets get on with this."

"Well put these in your mouth, and come into the circle." Jiraiya held out oblong disks

Kushina looked down and saw that a circle had been cut in the grass. She crossed into it and took the talisman form Jiraiya and popped it in. It came right back out. She tasted a metal tang, and something she had never tasted before, but it tasted fowl. "Fuck that's horrible!"

Tsunade put the disk in her mouth, and rolled it around on her tongue before popping it out. "What are you taking about. It barley has a taste."

"Well this makes it a whole lot more difficult. So Kushina do you think you can stand the taste or a burning sensation better. Your magic is rejecting mine, so if you could drain you magic, it would be much more bearable."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you are talking about. Maybe you just messed this one up, make another one."

Jiraiya took the talisman from me and held it out of the circle. "Let us see then shall we?" The disk started to glow, then was enveloped it black. The drastic change caused green spots to appear in front of Kushina's eyes. When she was able to blink them away, the disk was gone. "3,2,1" The sky ripped in front of Jiraiya and the talisman was now in his other hand. "So what is it going to be? Touch or taste?"

"Touch, it's not like I haven't felt pain before." Jiraiya reached behind him and pulled out a knife, a knife Kushina recognised, "That is totally the knife from the library, I didn't know you where so down on your luck you need to steal to get by." It got the desired effect as his eyes narrowed in anger from the jab. _Not nice to being accused of things that aren't true is it? I swear I will haunt you if you screw this up mage. _

"It has magical residue all over it, I could not just leave it laying around. Hand please."

"You just said it was tainted, and now you are going to use it on me. I don't think so." Her hands stubbornly stayed around Naruto.

"I'll do it." She smiled in thanks to Tsunade, and held out her hand to her.

"You want a cut that will bleed for awhile, since if it stops she could get caught in the abyss."

Tsunade took out her surgery knife, when the knife slashed into her palm at first Kushina didn't feel it, but as the blood started to seep out the pain came right along with it. Jiraiya pressed the talisman into the still open hand. She was not prepared and the pain, and almost let go. It felt like her hand had been engulfed in flames, "Hurry it up would you!" Kushina hissed between clenched teeth.

Jiraiya overlade his palm onto her arm holding Naruto, his other hand was atop Tsunade. It was like his touch added oil to the flame, and her arm and shoulder where soon engulfed in the phantom flames.

The pain was a insignificant sensation as the ground disappeared beneath her feet, and her eyes where blinded by a kaleidoscope of color. The most scarcest part of all was that she was all alone, Naruto had vanished from her arms. She screamed and heard nothing. The void was all there was.


End file.

Naruto, Fantasy