Harry Potter 1. Too Many Feelings

_Hey everybody whos taken the time to read this, as cliche as this sounds, this is my first fanfiction. At least the first one i've ever posted. Just to give you a little background on myself, I'm a soldier serving in Iraq right now and please don't flame me for the war or anything. This isn't a forum and nor do I intend to make a forum for such a purpose. I'd like to thank everyone who reads this, reviews mean alot considering where i'm at so please give them, in ample amounts. Its much appreciated._

_I'd like to thank J.K. Rowling for creating Harry Potter, as my imagination did not birth it and I don't own it. Nor do I wish I did, I plan on making my own storyverse that will rock the literary world. Props to J.K. for succeding so amazingly and creating an escape for people wether it was intended or not. I'd also like to thank the other writers on the site, you give life advice through your stories even if you didn't mean to. Theres a lot to learn by sifting through these stories. _

_Tell me what you think, I have no beta readers just yet. But seeing as I reread my stories about five times before I even think about posting them I'm not so sure I need them, no offense. If you'd like to offer yourself for a beta leave a review letting me know. Believe me your reviews will make my day. I now bid you adieu as you delve into my story, enjoy._

--

Harry sat there staring at a knot in the Gryffindor's table in the Great Hall and not staring at it at the same time. His green eyes were unfocused and his black hair its usual untidy mess atop his head as he sat amid the excited conversations about another school year and the worried looks of first years as they eyed their schedules not knowing what to expect of their classes. And still he stared, unmoving toward the food Ron had heaped onto his plate, his fork untouched and glass of pumpkin juice still full reflecting the beautiful sky the enchanted ceiling was projecting.

The Sorting had been done the night before, after a speech from the new Headmaster McGonagall. While she remained as tight lipped as ever from Harry's seat he saw a smile being not so expertly suppressed and a watery look in the old witch's eyes. Even the cheers and shouts of joy and well done's could not pierce the veil of unfeeling Harry had felt ever since he had stepped foot on the Hogwarts Express back at the platform 9 ¾. Hermione had noticed him staring absentmindedly out the window as the passing scenery and had cast a knowing look in his direction before she redirected Ron's attention away from his best friend. She even initiated a conversation on Quidditch, which kept Ron talking non stop the rest of the trip as she tried her best to pretend to be interested.

While he was grateful for her intervention, the look in her eyes had not gone unnoticed and he knew exactly what had crossed her mind. He was not thinking of the 'Final Battle' as the Daily Prophet and the rest of the wizarding world had called the last encounter between Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter and the remaining members of the Order of the Phoenix at the grounds of Hogwarts, in fact his mind was thinking nothing. It was just blissfully blank, and the veil of unfeeling was as secure as ever. He had done more than enough feeling after that battle. He cried for the dead before, during, and after the funerals, he had felt an unending sense of guilt for his survival through it all though he did die and come back, but that didn't count, not really, and a limitless sense of joy and love when he had returned to the Burrow for the summer and had first wrapped his arms around Ginny after so long.

Now he just felt nothing, he didn't know if it was a good or bad thing, he just knew it was. Maybe its because he was returning to the place where so much had happened, he could remember overhearing Arthur and Molly talking about it in the kitchen one morning before the rest of the family had woken up. How she was worried about him returning there and how he might have nightmares or flashbacks to that fateful day. Arthur had assured her that things would be alright and unknowingly reassured Harry at the same time, though he was as unsure of his return now as he had been that morning.

His eyes flicked back and forth between the passing country side and the pale reflection of his face in the window. The lightning bolt scar on his forehead was a few shades lighter than it had been during the previous seventeen years of his life. Maybe it was fading away, he had always wondered what it'd be like to have an unmarred face. Perhaps people wouldn't recognize him as well without it, he doubted it as the Daily Prophet had a picture of it on every page, well, every page except the obituaries though it could have just as well belonged there. The brief thought of obscurity that had streaked across his nothingness of his mind like a shooting star had once welled up feelings of hope for a normal life, today it brought up nothing. He sighed internally not having the will to do it physically and continued to stare at the horizon much like he found himself doing to the table this very moment.

"Hey mate, have you heard anything I've said?" Ron asked between mouthfuls of food, apparently him dating Hermione had added to his list of practiced manners that had numbered zero a few months before.

"What?" he replied as if he suddenly remembered where he was. Picking up his fork he pushed his scrambled eggs around his plate before he started pecking at them.

"I said I can't wait till Quidditch starts, wonder who the captain's going to be." he took a long drink, "Bet it'll be you."

Harry poked some more at his eggs before bringing up the smallest scrap to his mouth.

"I don't want it."

"What!" Ron said loudly nearly snorting out what was left of his pumpkin juice. Hermione merely raised her eye brows and continued to put together a study schedule for them for the rest of the year.

"I said I don't want to be captain, I'm not even sure I feel like playing this year."

Ron looked completely shocked, he had even stopped wolfing his food down, the sausage that had been on his half raised fork plopped onto the table before it rolled to the floor.

A flicker of a feeling flitted inside Harry like a spark, remaining just as brief. Was it so hard to believe that he didn't want to play Quidditch this year? He had loved it before and he still did, all he wanted was for his last year at Hogwarts to pass by blissfully uneventful. He didn't want all the attention that being a star Quidditch player would bring, not to mention the limitless possibilities of trips to the hospital ward. He was sure there'd be scouts there for the major teams at every game watching his every maneuver hoping that he'd choose to sign on with their team. He was even willing to bet all the galleons in his vault at Gringotts that some would sigh him on just so they could say they had Harry Potter on their roster, even if he was a rubbish player his name alone would still sell tickets for them.

Frowning slightly he continued to poke at his eggs and had even stabbed his treacle tart a few times when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck and the smell of flowers filled his nose. The blanket of non-feeling left in an instant and he couldn't help but smile.

"Good morning love." Ginny said giving him a quick peck on the cheek sliding on to the bench next to him.

"Morning Ginny." Harry replied leaving his fork sticking out of his tart like an antenna as he leaned over for a proper morning kiss, Ron muttered something as he shoved some toast in his mouth.

"And what has you in a foul mood this morning dear brother?" she asked lightly scooping some porridge into her bowl.

"Harry doesn't want to be captain of the Quidditch team."

"So, thats up to him if he doesn't want to be, hes earned that right I would think."

"He doesn't even want to play!" At that statement Hermione flicked her wand banishing all of Ron's dishes. "Hey! I was still eating!"

"No Ron, you were busy questioning Harry's wishes so I figured you were quite finished eating and decided to help the house elves clean up." She said putting the parchment she had copied her schedule on into her bag. Ron crossed his arms fuming at the injustice of it all, after all he did have a right to question Harry's decision, at least he thought so.

"Whats that Harry?" Seamus asked overhearing the conversation as he passed. "You don't want to play Quidditch this year?"

Harry's nerves bristled, the happiness Ginny's company had brought him quickly fading. Several more voices murmured down the table as Seamus' comment was loud enough for even more people to overhear. The few sparks in his chest became annoyance and threatened to grow into something more. Standing up he strode out of the Great Hall leaving his bag and bewildered friends behind.

He had no idea where he was going he just knew he wanted to be away from everybody and their questions. Did it really matter what he wanted to do this school year? He had fulfilled the prophecy, he had vanquished Lord Voldemort-on these grounds no less- and yet still there were things expected of him. Quidditch champion, he snorted at the idea but guilt at his reaction to what seemed to be such simple questions to anyone else was replacing his annoyance. He had over reacted, well, he didn't feel like he had over reacted but it appeared just the same. Deciding to leave that train of thought on its depressing tracks he looked at the surroundings his feet had carried him to.

He was stunned to find himself somewhere in the dungeons. He had always found solace taking a walk out on the grounds or basking beside the lake why had he come here? Maybe its because where everybody expected him to be that his feet had carried him to a place they were unlikely to find him. Sighing he tried to get his bearings but he had only been down here for potions class and when he and Ron had impersonated the bumbling idiots Crabbe and Goyle during his second year when they were trying to find out if Malfoy was the heir of Slytherin, so he had no idea where in the dungeons he was. He wished he had the Marauder's Map.

The sound of voices floated up from down the hall catching Harry's ear. Moving his way down the torch lit corridor the voices grew louder and the tone changed from a barely audible whisper to muffled shouts. His heartbeat quickened as he stopped outside of the only door in the dingy hall that had light coming out from under it. Pressing his ear to the smooth wooden surface he was surprised to discover it was warm and conducted sound rather well.

"-did you think we'd let your kind wander around after whats happened?"

Your kind? Harry narrowed his eyes, suppressing his anger that he felt rising up for the second time that morning. Who was in there, were Slytherins taking out their frustrations and anger out on innocent students over what had happened to their's and their house mates families?

"I hope someone does find you when we leave, wouldn't want you to die down here." the same voice said sounding like it was hoping just that.

Deciding he had to do something before the situation got out of hand Harry burst into the room and hit the first person he saw with a full-body bind. Now that he had the element of surprise and had incapacitated a potential adversary he surveyed the room and was shocked at what he found.

The room was quite devoid of any furniture only sporting a set of shackles on the far wall and a pair of torches that flanked the doorway he was now standing in casting a glow that barely illuminated the room. Up against the wall was a blond girl he recognized faintly but he couldn't quite place her, she was clutching her bag to her chest like it was some kind of shield and in front of her were two boys pointing their wands at her with looks of shock plastered to their faces. It seemed they weren't expecting to be caught in the dungeons. Once Harry's eyes adjusted to the dim light his heart skipped a beat, he hadn't walked on some Slytherins seeking revenge he had found quite the opposite. The boys wore robes that bore the marking and colors of Ravenclaw while the girl had a green house scarf around her neck- glancing out of the corner of his eye to the person he had hexed upon entering he noticed the boy was wearing the yellow of Hufflepuff.

"Whats going on here?" Harry demanded his mind swam as it tried to make sense of the scene.

The Ravenclaw closest to the Slytherin girl recovered first.

"We were just about to teach this Slytherin a lesson." he sneered, the word Slytherin coming out of his mouth like it was something foul meant to scraped from the bottom of his shoe.

"What did she ever do to get teamed up three to one, couldn't take her on your own?" he asked his voice suddenly flat.

"Shes one of them, what more reason do we need?" the second boy chimed in.

Harry's anger began to build as he fought to control it. One of them? Hadn't they learned anything from the war? Titles, categories, worth of lives based on who bore you as a child, he was tired of it, so sick of it all. All this self appointed supremacy floating around. One house being better than the other, the ignoring of the actual people that were in them.

A growl escaped his throat as his anger turned to rage and the lights in the small room flickered out. The two Ravenclaws bolted for the illuminated doorway only to receive hexes in their backs that sent them across the hall and crashing through the opposite door. With a flash of light and another crash the third boy was rejoined with his friends.

The girl stood petrified up against the wall, her fingers were curled so tight they hurt and she held onto her bag like a life preserver in the open ocean. There was no light in the room save a little bit of green moss in the far corner that was giving off a sickly green glow that didn't pierce the darkness anymore than a few centimeters. Where was the boy who had burst into the room and saved her? She could hear his ragged breathing coming from somewhere. Slowly she reached into her bag for her wand and with a wave she re lit the torches and gasped. The raven haired boy was pale and shaking, he green eyes felt like they were looking through her, through the wall behind her and at nothing all at the same time. His disheveled hair revealed a fading lightning bolt scar that caused her breath to stop in her chest.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he regained some of his composure, she nodded.

"Good, could you by chance lead me out of this maze?" he smiled wiping the distant look from his eyes.

She was still rooted to the spot.

"You're Harry-"

"Potter." a new voice announced.

Harry whirled around pointing his wand at the newcomer who turned out to be none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Good morning Malfoy." Harry greeted dropping his arm to his side.

"What has you wandering around the dungeons Potter?" he asked a flash of anger in his eyes. "Cornering girls from Slytherin, is that Weaslette not enough for you?"

Harry just smiled at Malfoy who was having a staring contest for dominance that Harry wasn't participating in.

"He wasn't doing anything like that!" the girl chirped. "He actually saved me from some Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff, they were going to hex me and leave me here to die!"

Malfoy turned his gaze from Harry to the girl looking her up and down.

"Get to class Greengrass, I'll inform your sister of this incident." the girl scampered out the door and down the hall. Malfoy waited for her footsteps to fade away before he spoke again.

"Still playing the hero Potter?" he sneered. "Was defeating the Dark Lord not good enough for you?"

Harry's smile disappeared from his face his wand arm twitched.

"Plan on hexing me Potter? I'm not so easy to beat, this isn't second year anymore."

Still no reply, smirking triumphantly Malfoy turned to leave.

"Draco."

The Slytherin stopped. When had Potter ever called him by his first name? Never, he was sure of it. Even when they had first met it had been last names, why was the Golden Boy calling him by first name now?

"Yes Potter?" he asked not facing him.

"How's your mother?"

Malfoy's heart beat faster anger burned through him like a flash fire. How dare he ask about his mother. It was his fault she had been and was in so much grief. Was he goading him? He branished his wand shoving it under Harry's chin bringing his face inches from his rival's. Angry blue eyes met sad green ones and his rage dropped a few notches. He seemed geniuenly concerned about his mother, this disturbed him. Why would he care? He had all the fame and fortune any wizard anywhere could ask for and his family was nearly bankrupt, he had the love and adoration of the masses while his name was spat on and he condemned. Unable to stand it any longer he petrified Harry.

As Harry's frozen form hit the ground Malfoy kicked him in the ribs, hard. If it weren't for the body-bind he was sure the wind would've been knocked out of him. The next few moments were spent at the receiving end of the Slytherins anger unable to do anything.

"I'll send Professor Slughorn down here to get you at lunch." Malfoy said sweeping his hair back behind his head. He left the room and closed the door behind him. For some reason beating Potter didn't give him the same satisfaction that it once had. Putting off these thoughts he made his way to the Great Hall for a bit of breakfast, the exertion had made him peckish.


	2. A Normal Beginning

_Well chapter two is finally up after a couple incidents ensued that put off the unvieling of the continuation of my story (kind of excessive eh?). I'd like to apologize if I came off to harsh with my introduction at chapter one, I'm really a laid back guy just was kinda stressed out and didn't want be rude and leave you with nothing. I hope you like enjoy my story and please leave reviews, they're much appreciated, bring a smile to my day knowing strangers enjoy my works. Feel free to message me, I could use some good conversations with people I don't see everyday. _

_Read on, hope you enjoy! _

* * *

Professor Slughorn had shown up two hours later and unpetrified Harry before escorting him to the Hospital Wing apologizing and wondering aloud who had the nerve to sneak up behind the boy and hex him the whole way there. Harry was glad to see Madam Pomfrey as she pushed the professor out of the wing going on about how her patients needn't be disturbed as they needed their rest, but as he was reacquainted with the practice of her care he felt it was a toss up between the two. After the healing of a broken rib and rather large application of bruise cream he happily accepted the nap she demanded he have before he return to his classes, though he wouldn't be returning to any classes seeing as he had never made it to them in the first place he mused.

Waking up from a wonderfully dreamless sleep, at least he had stopped having nightmares so often. He remembered waking up screaming some nights at the Burrow as he watched his friends fall again and again in the never ending battle that his dream scape had become. Where once he had been only getting a few hours of sleep a night and constantly checking on the sleeping members in the Weasley's home making sure they were indeed still there the nightmares began to taper off as he slowly came to grips with what had happened. Now they only harassed him once or twice a week but he usually slept through them.

He groped the nightstand for his glasses as he sat up in bed, putting them on he noticed someone sitting at the end of his hospital bed watching him with cold, blue eyes. She looked vaguely like the girl he had saved in the dungeons earlier only older and blond hair that was mixed with patches of brown.

"Uh- hello." he said awkwardly as he stretched, the girl said nothing. It was then he noticed the three beds across the wing from him, their occupants were regarding the two with looks of fear. The boy Harry recognized as the Hufflepuff he had hexed kept shifting his eyes between Harry and the girl and Madam Pomfrey who was busy in her office. Harry waved smiling and he waved back feebly.

Returning his attention to the stranger at the foot of his bed their eyes met. He wasn't sure how long they were sitting there, neither of them had said a word, it didn't feel like some kind of staring contest instead it was like they were talking with their eyes. The sound of the hospital doors opening ended their silent conversation.

"Daphne Greengrass." was the only thing she said as she stood up.

"Harry Potter." he said holding out his hand, she ignored it.

Harry watched her as she left then turned his attention back to the three students across from him but found their beds empty. Either they had managed to sneak off, which Madam Pomfrey would have a fit over, or she had released them while Harry was eye locked with Daphne. If they had indeed wandered off Harry didn't want to be in here for the healers wrath, he might end up stuck here for a week. He threw off his sheets and brought his feet over the edge of the bed only to be tackled backward by a red streak.

"Harry I'm so sorry!" Ginny cried into his shoulder giving him a hug that made him wince as his bruises weren't fully healed.

"I should have followed you as soon as you left but I went back and grabbed your bag and when I got to the doors you were gone. I looked all around the lake, I even had Hagrid and Fang help me search."

"Ginny-" Harry said picking the crying red head off of his shoulder. "Its alright, nothing happened to me."

He paused as he said that realizing he was still in the hospital wing.

"Nothing bad anyways, just got some minor bruises."

"What happened to you mate?" Hermione elbowed Ron. "OW! Oh yeah, sorry about earlier, just surprised me is all. I thought you'd be all over the idea of playing Quidditch this year now that no one is trying to kill you."

"So where did you hurry off to after your..." Hermione was looking for the right word, it seemed she was being extra tactful around him and he could only wonder why. Episode was the word she eventually settled on, Ron and Ginny clapped and gave little cheers as they were beginning to think it'd take her forever.

Harry told them the story as he slipped on his shoes and they made their way to the Great Hall for lunch. All three of them were surprised when they heard that it was a pair of Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff that had been the ones threatening to hurt a lone Slytherin girl. A brief moment of Harry's earlier attitude returned as Ron thought it was brilliant that he had made the comment about Malfoy's mother but was quickly put to rest as Hermione shot him a look and let go of his hand and Ginny sent him running down the hall being attacked by bat boogies. Harry enjoyed the rest of the walk in silence with his arm around Ginny's shoulders staring out the windows they passed at the ocean of green that was the grounds of Hogwarts. Hermione had bewitched a book to float ahead of her so she didn't have to hold it to read earning a smile and a laugh from Harry.

The younger Greengrass hopped up and down in her seat and waved at him as the entered the Great Hall and he waved back, several Slytherins looked between the two and proceeded to talk in low whispers while Malfoy and Daphne pretended he didn't even exist.

Ron managed to join them a few minutes later half covered in chalk dust, when they asked what had happened he mumbled something that sounded like 'Peeves'. Hermione filled Harry in on what he had missed in his classes and he and Ginny charmed their pieces of food to play a game of Quidditch that went the whole length of the table until Headmistress McGonagall incinerated the turkey team because it was drawing too many on lookers that were very enthusiastic whenever either side scored a goal.

"Have any of you seen my schedule?" Harry asked after patting down his his pockets not finding it. He hadn't looked at it when it had been given to him that morning barely even acknowledging the new Head of House as they dropped it off.

"I took the liberty of going over it for you and made you a homework schedule." Hermione answered handing him the two pieces of parchment as well as his school bag.

"Good 'ol Hermione, always has time to make a homework schedule for me and I land myself in the hospital wing on the first day. This is shaping up to be a rather normal year." He said with a smile.

He was sad to discover that he shared no classes with Ginny-yet. Those who had been at Hogwarts the past school year were being given grueling reviews over the material that would have been taught in their respective years and would be tested that Friday and Saturday to determine their academic placements. In the mean time the Harry, Hermione, Ron, and anyone else who would have been in seventh year when Voldemort had taken over the ministry had light classes the first week, those that opted to test out of their seventh year would take their N.E.W.T.S. in a months time.

Kissing Ginny goodbye Harry made his way to the greenhouse with his two best friends. Ron and Hermione were holding hands again, he guessed she had thought being pelted with dirty erasers from Peeves was punishment enough for his earlier comment. The sun felt good on his skin, drying up any remaining gloom he had left and the breeze causing the trees of the forbidden forest to rustle made a serene setting with the soft waves gliding across the lakes surface.

"Why did you two take Herbology N.E.W.T.S.?" He asked, he knew he needed it to become and Auror but he had no idea what Ron and Hermione wanted to do after they graduated, it really hadn't been a topic of much discussion as they had been hunting horcruxes.

"I'm going to go help George with the shop after I get out of here." Ron said. Harry frowned, his good mood dampened at the reminder that Fred had paid the ultimate price to free their world from Voldemort. He remembered wondering if George would close Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes after the war was over since Fred was no longer there for him to come up with ideas with and test out their potential products but he had endured and opened his doors once more bringing a little bit of laughter back to the mourning community.

"Might as well try to learn about as many things as I can, discover some new things we could do. Though George seems to have enough new products stockpiled in the back room waiting to be released to last a year. All the other stuff is still selling strong, even the simplest things, never thought pygmy puffs would be a hit."

Ron was staring off that the forest when he finished looking like he was trying his hardest not to cry. Hermione brought his hand up to her mouth and kissed it bringing his mind back to the present as he smiled at her.

"I was thinking of working for the ministry." Harry and Ron looked at her incredulously, she just ignored them.

"I want to help repair the rifts between wizards and other magical creatures, make sure the next dark wizard won't have anything to take advantage of."

The rest of the walk to the greenhouses was quiet, each of the friends lost in their own thoughts just enjoying each others company and the calm around them. Harry wondered when the next dark wizard would rise, would it be within his life time? He sighed inwardly, he had had enough of fighting and of death but there would always be those that sought power and would take it no matter what the cost. He hoped none would go as far as Voldemort had, ripping his soul to pieces creating Horcruxes so he wouldn't die and could always rise to power again. There was a strange feeling of humor and sadness as he briefly imagined himself as the next Dumbledore, sense of fashion and all, helping a future generation fight against the next dark wizard. He snickered to himself as they joined the crowd of students that was forming outside of the greenhouses.

He was pleased to see that more of the seventh years had returned to the school than he had thought. The Slytherins were grouped off to the side talking in low whispers to their friends next to them or not saying anything at all, instead watching the other houses waiting for someone to start a fight or send a hex their way. Draco was talking to Daphne, she nodded a few times before her eyes flicked over and noticed Harry was looking at her. He noticed a slight change in her stance as she relaxed and the air around her seemed to take on a smile. The male Slytherin followed her gaze and locked eyes with Harry, a small smile tugged at his lips as the air around Daphne shifted back to cold feeling as Draco resumed his conversation with her.

Several others in the gaggle of Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors talked excitedly as the three joined them. Some thanked them, some gave them pats on the back, and still others had tears in their eyes and their voices cracked and failed them as they tried their best to convey their gratitude. Strangely enough Harry, Ron and Hermione found themselves at the front of the group though they had been the last to arrive.

The low grumble of voices died out as Professor Sprout made her way to the students from the greenhouse at the end of the row.

"Good afternoon class." She started smiling as she scanned the crowd, lingering on Harry and his friends a moment before she continued.

"It is wonderful to see so many return after last year." Tears started forming in her eyes. No one snickered or whispered sarcastic comments to their house mates to her statement seeing as there was only a fourth of the normal amount of seventh years there. Instead everyone was solemnly quiet. After a moment she continued, the tears gone as she found some inner source of courage.

"We will be working in greenhouse seven this year, and as you no doubt have noticed by now you will be attending your classes with the seventh years from all the other houses." She didn't have to say why. "The majority of the plants you will be dealing with this year will be dangerous, some more so than others, so you must pay strict attention when I tell you how to deal with them. Every couple of weeks we will switch to working with some that won't try to kill, poison or maim you so you don't jump at the sight of normal greenery."

This elicited genuine laughter from the crowd, Professor Sprout smiled even wider.

"Right then, follow me."

They shuffled along behind her, Slytherin falling to the rear seemingly not wanting anyone from another house where they couldn't watch them. Harry had a feeling all of their wands were readily accessible in case someone tried to attack them.

"Alright class," she started as they stopped in front of greenhouse seven. "today we will be dealing with a particularly vicious plant called the called the Barnsuqle. Does anyone know what the Barnsuqle is?"

No one moved, even Hermione didn't raise her hand, though Harry had a feeling it wasn't because she didn't know but rather because she didn't feel like talking.

"I-I do professor." A voice stammered from the back. The group of students parted so the speaker could be seen.

"Its a plant that looks like a budding rose bush." Neville said gaining confidence as he went.

"The top bulbs, or heads, can sense potential prey and shoot thorns or spines at high speeds to wound or kill their target. The lower bulbs stretch out like hands with mouths to drag their meal closer where they begin to devour it."

"Yes, correct. Ten points to Gryffindor." Professor Sprout said, no one grumbled about the points. In fact none of them cared about House points at all. After the lessons they learned last year house points and the prestige of the house cup were trivial.

Professor Sprout continued.

"The simplest defense against the Barnsuqle is the shield charm Protego, that is, of course if there is only one Barnsuqle. If there you happen to be unlucky enough to find yourself in a patch of Barnsuqle I would advise you remove yourself from that situation as quickly as possible. Its weakness, like most other plants is fire, though you cannot truly destroy it unless you remove its roots from the ground a pour salt on them.

Now when we enter the greenhouse you will be behind a glass wall that is charmed to look like a brick one from the other side. You cannot be harmed by it as long as you remain behind the wall. Are there any questions?"

No one raised their hand.

"Right then, in you go."

They spent the next two hours going over the anatomy of the Barnsuqle as well as its prey. Professor Sprout even gave them a demonstration of its hunting capabilities when she tapped on the wall with her wand removing the spelled brick pattern that was on the other side. Almost immediately the top five bulbs whipped around and honed in on their potential prey on the other side of the glass and began a barrage of flying thorns that were shot at such a velocity they buried themselves into the reinforced glass, some nearly coming out the other side. The students in front that weren't prepared jumped and stumbled back to get away from the glass they were sure was going to break. Harry stood there watching, unmoved from his spot, as the Barnsuqle peppered the glass over his torso and face. Ron and Hermione had a distant look in their eyes as they stood there holding hands. With a tap of the professor's wand the charm returned and the Barnsuqle went back to its placid state.

Several of the students laughed at those that had scrambled away from the barrier as the rest talked in low whispers, glancing over at the Gryffindor trio that had yet to move or utter a single sound.

"Its rather sad." Hermione whispered putting what Harry was feeling into words.

The display had reminded him of his entire life. Trying so hard only to arrive back where he had started. Though that wasn't completely true, he had found the best friends a young wizard could ask for and had a girl friend that had stuck by him even when he had broken up with her for her safety. So maybe his was better off than the Barnsuqle, or maybe they were the same. He shook his head, what was going on with him that he compared himself to plants from herbology?

"So what do you want to do now?" Ron asked as the rest of the class filed out of the greenhouse before them.

The Slytherins had once again taken up a defensible position within the crowd of students, a habit that was probably going to last the entire school year. Harry had hoped the house prejudices would've been laid to rest after the display of what they could do to the community but it seemed he had hoped for too much. Somethings you just couldn't change, not yet anyways, he'd have to give it some time to see where it led.

A flash of sunlight off of a head of blond hair drew him from his thoughts. He couldn't take his eyes off the back of Daphne's head as they made their way back up to the castle, her ponytail swung back and forth with each step. Entrancing his eyes like the pendulum of a clock.

"Well the teachers haven't given us any homework today how about we go for a walk Ron?" Hermione said as the trio separated themselves from the rest of the pack, Harry bringing his eyes to meet his best friends.

"Don't we have anymore classes?" Harry asked.

"No mate." Ron said smiling. "Someone above decided to go easy on us, at least for this first week. We only have one or two double classes a day until all the placement tests are done, I don't even want to think or our workload afterward."

"Lucky us." Harry said sarcastically. "Why aren't you pressing Ron and I to pick up a book and get started on studying for our N.E.W.T.S. Hermione?"

She laughed aloud, it was a beautiful sound. He remembered a time when none of them could laugh, not even if they traded their soul for it.

"Getting you two to start studying early, especially before we even have formal classes, is impossible. And no, these don't count as formal classes. They're just something the teachers decided to put together so the rest of the students don't think the Seventh years are getting off easy. Besides, theres other things I would prefer to do."

"Hermione, preferring something over studying? Wheres our Hermione and what have you done with her?" Harry asked shaking her playfully.

"You know what this means Ron."

"We have to-"

"-find out if she-"

"-is indeed our Hermione-"

"-and not some polyjuiced impersonator." They said in a Fred and George-esq manner. It was rather weird having two boys who looked completely different finishing each others sentences like they were twins who hadn't been separated since birth. But then again they had been through more than most wizards could think about together and it was only logical their friendship was something akin to being brothers.

Sensing something was about to happen to her Hermione took off from her friend and boyfriend all three of them laughing as they chased her around. Her flight didn't last long as she doubted she could've actually gotten away from her taller, more athletic counterparts.

She struggled playfully as Ron scooped her up from around her middle and Harry grabbed onto her legs to keep her from kicking either of them in the head. Once she realized that they were carrying her toward the lake she started to struggle more giving both of them a run for their money as they tried to maintain their hold on her. Wading into the water they attempted to toss her in a little further than they were standing. Ron was unlucky as he was holding her upper half and she had wrapped her arms around him in a vice-grip so he went toppling with her.

Harry burst into a side clutching laugh as his two friends were soaked, Hermione's normally bushy hair was matted to her head. He noticed the look in her eyes too late as she sent a wave of water crashing down on him with a flick of her wand. Ron pointed and laughed at Harry until he realized his girlfriend had turned toward him with that same look of an angry, half drowned kneazle. He unsuccessfully tried to scramble away only to receive the same treatment as his friend. With an unspoken declaration of a splash war the trio spent the next hour making sure the others were soaked to the bone.

Harry excused himself from their company when they managed to drag themselves out of the lake. He was happy his two best friends were together and didn't want to intrude on any privacy they wished to have. During the past summer he had learned that neither of them would ask him to no matter much they wanted to be alone so he had learned to recognize the cues and would excuse himself to do other things.

Picking up his school bag from the side of the lake where it had been dropped before they had decided to have their splashing game, Hermione would've killed them if they had gotten their books wet no matter how playful of a mood she was in, and made his way up to the castle.

Having a strange urge to be by himself in a large enclosed space he went to the Great Hall. Neville was sitting by himself at the end of the Gryffindor table as he poured over a hefty tome that would've made Hermione proud and a knot of Hufflepuffs where whispering over a pile of parchment between them. Quietly he made his way to the far end of the Ravenclaw table and laid down on one of the benches using his bag for a pillow and stared at the enchanted cieling. The clouds drifted across the sky lazily weaving a constantly changing tapestry of blue and white. Slowly his eyes began to lose focus as he drifted off to sleep thinking blissfully of nothing.

* * *

Thanks oceansong for being the only person to read this story so far! Maybe I should give you a prize, like a cookie. (holds cookie out)


	3. A Not So Normal Beginning Afterall

_ I would like to apologize for the long break between chapters. More specifically to Oceansong, gayskin, and my wife who all have been keeping up with this. No this story wasn't abandoned, my muse went up like a pheonix and took a while to be reborn. Deployment can be a harsh mistress. But here it is, Chapter 3! Hope you enjoy._

Chapter 3

"Potter, get up Potter." A voice hissed as Harry felt himself being forcefully nudged.

Waking up with a start he rolled off the bench where he was sleeping pulling his wand out as he went. Through blurry vision he could make out bodies clothed in black. Where was he? This wasn't the tent he had fallen asleep in. Had the Death Eaters captured him and brought him to Voldemort? His heart beat a million times a minute and he could feel the blood rushing through his veins. Where were Ron and Hermione, were they safe or had they been captured too? He'd have to fight his way out and find his friends before he could go on finding the rest of Voldemort's horcruxes, he couldn't imagine himself doing it without them.

In the half a second it had taken him to roll off the bench and land in a low crouch all those thoughts had crossed his mind. Standing he threw a body bind at his nearest opponent and managed to disarm a second before he saw flashes of curses and hexes being thrown his way. Snatching the wand he had taken out of the air he put up a shield and they rebounded harmlessly away, one of them managing to strike someone in the crowd of black robes.

Now armed with two wands he fought back against the Death Eaters, they apparently hadn't been expecting such resistance from their prisoner as they were disorganized and dispatched easily. With a flick of the claimed wand he sent a bench flying into the group. Most of the bodies managed to dive out of the way but an unlucky individual caught it in their middle and was sent crashing into the wall.

Harry laughed out loud.

"Is this all Voldemort has to send against me? He's worse off than I thought."

Ron and Hermione were on their way to dinner having spent the entire afternoon out on the grounds enjoying the weather, calm, and each others company when they heard shouts and crashing sounds coming from the Great Hall. Pulling out their wands they sprinted to the large entry and came to a halt in the doorway. Neither of them quite knew what they were expecting to find at the source of the disturbance but they were sure it wasn't what they saw before them.

At the far end of the Ravenclaw table Harry was dueling, though it really couldn't be classified as dueling seeing as he was successfully taking on half of the Ravenclaw house and a handful of Hufflepuffs who were trying their hardest to stop him before he reached the first and second years that were too stunned to move. Even the teachers didn't seem capable of moving out of shock of the scene unfolding before them.

What snapped the two Gryffindors out of their own inability to make their bodies act was Harry's laugh. It sounded evil, more maniacal than anything either of them thought could escape even Voldemort's twisted mouth. Springing into action the pair tore through the retreating crowd not stopping till they were between their friend and the rest of the students. Barely throwing up their own shields in time for Harry's barrage they were once again unpleasantly surprised. Instead of being deflected away by the shields his spells came into contact with them and stayed, almost as if they were trying to bore their way through to the people on the other side.

Ron and Hermione's shields broke with a loud explosion sending a shock wave that nearly flipped the Ravenclaw table and sent benches flying across the room. Landing hard on their back they once again barely managed to throw their shields up in time.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET OUT OF HERE!" Ron shouted.

His voice managed to break what ever spell had everyone petrified in their seats. With crying and hushed whispers the student body who hadn't already fallen under Harry's spell work or was keeping him occupied made their way to the teachers that were beckoning them through the staff entrances to the Great Hall.

As suddenly as Harry's attack started it ended. The ceasing of spells crackling as they tried to force their way through shields and flying through the air brought the impromptu evacuation to a halt. All eyes turned to the raven haired boy who was standing completely still as if he had been hit unexpectedly by the killing curse. Slowly he leaned back against something they couldn't see; his hand that had been holding the wand he had claimed in the first moments of the fight came up and gripped the hands of someone who had wrapped their arms around him. Time itself seemed to come to a halt as no one moved, every second Harry relaxing in the embrace of the person behind him.

It seemed the entire hall was holding its collective breath as they waited for what was going to happen next. With the slightest twitch of his wand something small that resembled a streak of light flew to his face. Awkwardly he adjusted his glasses as he became aware of his surroundings.

Everything seemed to be coming into focus as he leaned into the arms of whom ever was behind him. He felt a sense of security that was replaced by the sudden feeling of having two left feet when his mind registered the feeling of breasts that were pressed against his heaving ribcage. They weren't Ginny's, they felt larger, softer and firmer at the same time, and a strange yet comforting scent made its way to his nostrils. Bringing his mind to the present he was horrified by his surroundings.

The Ravenclaw table was flipped up on its side precariously close to the benches where the Hufflepuffs were normally seated for their meals while Ravenclaw's own seats were scattered around the hall, one having pierced a high window was now dangerously teetering back and forth as it couldn't decide whether it wanted to fall back inside or outside. Food and plates were scattered everywhere and overturned goblets made random lakes and rivers of pumpkin juice and other drinks that flowed in the grooves of the stone floor.

His breath hitched in his chest and it felt like his heart had stopped when he noticed the bodies around him. Some people lay unmoving while some rolled back and forth on the ground, others attempted to stand. His knees threatened to give out as his mind was flooded with what had happened the past few minutes. Turning he noticed the lines of students who had stopped mid-evacuation and who were now staring at him with looks of fear. He spotted Ginny who was rooted to the spot where she had been eating, she was pale and her mouth hung open in a state of shock. Unable to stand the stares any longer Harry tore away from the person holding him and ran out of the Great Hall, the blond Slytherin that took off after him barely registered to the faculty and students who were still trying to make sense of the situation.

Harry ran through the halls registering none of his surroundings, sending Mr.Filch to the floor as he knocked him over without apology. He didn't know where he was going in the castle he just knew he had to get there and fast. His chest hurt with each breath, his still not completely healed rib protesting the strain, and tears ran down his face. He had attacked students just because they had woken him up. He didn't know how many or how badly he had hurt them, he didn't even know if he had killed anyone. His wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out; he didn't even know if he could stand anyone looking at him.

Feeling the open air on his face he noticed he was standing at the top of the Astronomy tower in the exact spot Charlie's mates had picked up Norbert and carried him to Romania six long years ago. He wished he could just be packed in a dark crate and taken away from this place. With some complicated wand movements he cast an illusion charm on the whole tower so it would appear that there was no one up here even if he was right in front of their faces. Hiding behind some boxes he brought his knees under his chin rocking back and forth, his tears leaving hot trails down his face. He wished Dumbledore was here to comfort him; Sirius was here to tell him things would be alright. He gave an odd laugh that sounded more like a drowned hiccup as he imagined his Godfather praising him for his skills in taking on so many opponents in a duel.

But that slight uplifting in his spirit didn't last as he remembered the look on Ginny's face. She was shocked and horrified at what the man she loved had done and was capable of. She wouldn't want to be with him anymore after tonight. He couldn't blame her, he wouldn't want to be with himself anymore either. He was too dangerous to be around, even more dangerous than Moony when he was in his werewolf form without his potion. A fresh wave of tears stung his eyes as he thought of all of his and his parent's friends that had died for him and because of him. Because of him, that thought echoed in his mind.

The soft touch of a hand on his cheek broke his furious gaze that he had trained on his knees; he brought his head up with the gentle coaxing of the hand. Kneeling before him was Daphne Greengrass, gone was the cold, impenetrable air that she always seemed to have the few times he had seen her. In its place was a comforting feeling, her touch was light and soft, devoid of any hint of force, and her glacier gaze had melted revealing a soft, compassionate core. Unable to keep his eyes on her longer than it took to recognize her Harry turned away. The odd sense of embarrassment he normally felt if anyone came close to seeing him cry never came and he stared at the wall, fixed on a spot where four stones met willfully refusing the comforting he suddenly felt himself wanting from her.

"It'll be okay." she said.

He felt her sit down next to him and he leaned against her still not taking his eyes off the barely illuminated wall. His mind reeled at the contact but a part of him didn't care. He wasn't aware of time as the seconds ticked away turning into minutes. In fact he was so busy running from what had happened in the Great Hall in his head he hadn't even noticed he had fallen asleep until Daphne shifted her weight waking him up.

"Well good morning there, or should I say good night? Though that sounds like I'm tucking you in or something." She said with a smile. He returned it with a wary smile of his own. While his nap had reset his emotional counter back to zero he couldn't bring himself to a genuine smile.

"Its beautiful up here." She said as Harry turned to face the same direction as her. Looking up he noticed it was indeed a beautiful picture the heavens had painted themselves into. The moon shone down brightly, it would be full in a couple of nights he noticed, and practically every star was visibly twinkling down at them.

Standing up to relieve his rear end of the discomfort of the stone floor he had been sitting on for unknown hours he stretched and gazed across the grounds of his first home. The lake took an appearance of molten silver, the breeze creating small waves that lapped at the grass around it. Silhouettes of the schools owls flew back and forth between the forbidden forest and the owlery and a steady stream of smoke billowed from Hagrid's fireplace. Daphne took up a place beside him as they stared across the grounds enjoying a few moments of companionable silence.

"So," Harry started pausing after realizing his voice sounded rough from his emotional roller coaster and a little too loud for their surroundings, he continued in a near whisper. "How did you find me up here? I cast a charm so no one would be able to see me."

"I was already on the stairs when you cast it on the tower, doesn't do much good if someone is already in the affected area."

They lapsed into silence again, the events from earlier in the evening replaying through his mind.

"Why did you follow me? Shouldn't you have checked on your sister or something?"

"Oh she's fine. I got to you before you made it to the Slytherin tables. Though I can't say the same for the Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs, you really did a number on them. Can't say I've ever seen anyone duel like that, must've been at least thirty against you at the climax." She said as if stating the news a little bit of awe creeping into her voice.

Harry sighed, shifting his weight he leaned forward and looked toward the base of the tower; it was too dark to see the grass making him feel like it went on forever. His mind wandered to the night he and Dumbledore had returned from the cave on the coast, that fateful day where his mentor and near grandfather was killed. He wondered what it would feel like to fall to your death. Then he remembered the curse that had ended the life of one of the greatest wizards since Merlin. That flash of green seemed to always haunt his memories.

"Did I…" he started, pausing because he didn't want to continue.

"No, you didn't kill anyone." the Slytherin girl answered knowing what he wanted to ask. "Though I'm sure quite a few of them ended up in the Hospital Wing. Part of you seemed to know that they were just students so you kept to simpler spells, less lethal ones anyways."

Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He was relieved he hadn't killed anyone, the student body would be terrified of him, he could live with that. After all it seemed every year he had been at Hogwarts there was some rumor going around that he was the next dark lord, or he was trying to kill someone for something or another. He wouldn't have been able to face himself the next day if had accidentally killed one of his fellow students.

Another few moments passed before either of them spoke.

"Was it bad?" Daphne had started playing with a rock to hide her nervousness for such a personal question.

"Was what bad?"

"You know, what ever it was you were doing to fight You-know-who when everyone thought you had abandoned them."

"Oh, that." Harry went quiet again. He supposed life on the run wasn't anywhere near as bad as living under the Voldemort controlled ministry and the horrors faced by most witches and wizards far eclipsed his own. But there was always this burden that he wasn't doing things fast enough or he wasn't good enough and every time he heard about another death his heart felt a little heavier. To think of him having it bad after hearing the stories of what had been happening while he had been out looking for horcruxes seemed a little selfish when he compared next to the people who had lived through it. He couldn't really find an answer to her question.

"You never answered my question as to why you followed me."

"Thought you might need the company." She smiled flicking the rock she had been playing with off the tower. "Was I wrong?"

Harry looked at her confused causing her to laugh. Unable to hold back his own laughter he joined her, though he couldn't figure out why, for the life of him, he was laughing. After they had both calmed down she continued.

"I can see that I wasn't, besides, now we're even you saved my sister from those gits and I saved you from yourself."

He sighed before turning away from the edge of the tower.

"We need to get to our houses before its too late, I really don't want to meet Filch since I plowed him over on my way up here."

"I saw that." She laughed. "He seemed to be too surprised to remember who did it anyways, don't think a student had ever handled him that way before."

With a wave of his wand he canceled the charm he had cast on the tower.

"Come on, lets go."

They traveled in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and just enjoying the dark and mostly empty corridors. Most of the inhabitants of the paintings they passed were sound asleep a few of them were talking about various things in whispers. Harry was pretty sure he could guess what the topic was. Pushing his hands into his pockets he sighed, Daphne cracked an eyebrow at him but he remained quiet so she wasn't going to push it.

"This is it." Daphne said as they reached the entrance hall startling Harry out of his reprieve.

"Everything is back to normal tomorrow?" He whispered, it wasn't after hours yet but he really didn't want to attract the attention of the eternally grumpy caretaker.

"As normal as it can be after you take on nearly half the school single handedly and hand their wands back to them." She said lightly smiling.

He smiled in return, well it was more of a smirk seeing as he couldn't get the muscles in his face to work properly but the feeling was conveyed.

"Good night." He said as she slipped away for the dungeons. Sighing he turned around and made his way to Gryffindor Tower. Ignoring the questions of the Fat Lady he mumbled the password and entered the commons.

Ron was draped over most of the couch in front of the fire place fast asleep, his snores alternating between barely audible to soft thunder. Hermione was at the other end of the couch her feet curled under her as she sleepily read a book. Her eyes seemed to be lazily scanning the same line over and over again as her tired mind tried to commit it to memory. In the cushy armchair facing the portrait hole was his favorite red head who had joined her brother in slumber. A quidditch magazine dangled from her hand showing an ad about some new seeker gloves that were designed to hang onto your broom better so you achieve higher speeds without worrying about losing your grip and flying off. It pictured a young wizard with brown hair catching a run away broom that was going so fast you could barely see it as it zoomed across the page.

Walking over he took the magazine and tapped it with his wand turning it into a blanket. Gently tucking it around Ginny he kissed her softly on the forehead. Stirring she mumbled 'I love you too Harry' before she pulled the blanket over her head. Smiling he turned to his two best friends. Ron was still snoring but Hermione had set down her book and was looking at him gently but expectantly. Pulling a chair next to the couch he sat down and stared into the fire awaiting his friends bombardment of questions.

"You feeling better Harry?" Hermione asked in a whisper even though they both knew any noise short of an explosion would not wake Ron. The sound of sizzling bacon had done it once much to their chagrin but voices, it seemed, were out of that range.

"Yeah, I am now anyways." He wasn't up to extended answers, his emotions would only let him talk in short bursts.

Hermione didn't say anything more, instead she was absentmindedly finger the cover of the book she was reading while she bit her lip. He wondered what was going through her head seeing as she only acted like this when she had two conflicting ideas and they were at war for who win her ingenious mind. A sparkle of victory and determination shone in her eyes, or it could have been the fire, he wasn't sure, and she set her book aside. Stretching as she stood up she beckoned Harry to follow her as she went back out the portrait hole.

"We need to go see Headmistress McGonagall." She said as the Fat Lady closed behind them with a huff.

Harry sighed but nodded in consent. He knew the Headmistress would want to talk to him about why he had attacked half the school for no reason, even he couldn't figure that out.

"Why didn't you wake Ron to come with us?" He asked as they reached the gargoyle that blocked the entrance to the Headmistress' office.

"You honestly think he'd be able to be awake enough to understand what was being said? We'd have to repeat it in the morning over breakfast anyways." She answered as if the idea was completely silly.

With the utterance of the new password, 'tabby cat', Harry's heart felt like it was beating at a million kilometers per hour. Wiping his hands on his pants he followed his bushy haired friend to the landing outside the Headmistress' office. A nervous feeling of butterflies and two left feet took over his senses as she knocked on the ancient wooden door.

"Its Hermione and Harry headmistress."

"Come in." said the old witch on the other side.

Harry could feel the blood pounding in his ears as Hermione reached for the handle.

_There is was, the long awaited Chapter 3 of my story. I finally mulled over a purpose or 'goal' for this story, something I haven't heard done before so hopefully it'll be liked! (crosses fingers) I'll also try to get a writing schedule put together so I can churn these out at a regular rate, well as regular as circumstances will allow._

Doom West


	4. Drowning

**_This is a warning, while I generally do not write smut nor generally have any desire to include anything of a smutty nature in my fanfictions it would seem my muse warranted such a rare use. I apologize to anyone who does not enjoy reading such things and am profusely sorry if you think it detracts from your view of the storyline._**

Sorry about the long break between chapters, some things of a personal nature came up so the story was put on hold. I will try to update more often but seeing as I work twelve hour shifts and still have to find time to sleep, which i'm currently missing out on right now. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sure you're confused on the posted pairing of the story when one of the characters is dead, you'll find out in due time.

Dedicated to my wifie whom I shall not name for her internetz safety. You can give Mrs. West your deepest apologies for being married to me through me, I shall convey them.

Chapter 4

_With the utterance of the new password, 'tabby cat', Harry's heart felt like it was beating at a million kilometers per hour. Wiping his hands on his pants he followed his bushy haired friend to the landing outside the Headmistress' office. A nervous feeling of butterflies and two left feet took over his senses as she knocked on the ancient wooden door._

"_Its Hermione and Harry headmistress."_

"_Come in." said the old witch on the other side._

_Harry could feel the blood pounding in his ears as Hermione reached for the handle._

break

Harry didn't quite know what to expect to see on the other side of the door after his crazed outburst earlier in the day. Maybe Kingsley was there with a handful of Aurors ready to take him into custody pending his trial and subsequent sentencing to Azkaban. Its not like he could plead not guilty, he had most certainly done it no matter how much he wished he hadn't and self defense wouldn't work either. What met his eyes however wasn't the tall black wizard or any member of the ministry for that matter.

The entire office was covered in owl feathers and droppings. Nearly every surface that could be used as a perch was currently occupied by the large eyed mail currier's of Hogwarts. Shouts and insults were thrown from the portraits to the feathered occupiers that were using their frames as a place to rest. In front of the fire place ran two parallel troughs one filled with water and the other filled with enough treats to placate all the owls in Britain.

In fact the only place that seemed to be free of the chaotic state was the Headmistress' desk and her person. Harry wasn't quite sure if he could stay in his sullen mood if he had walked in and seen Professor McGonagall covered in owls like an ineffective scarecrow. However free of owls her person was she looked like she had the weight of them all on her mind.

Taking a step after Hermione into the room the portrait of the only Slytherin Headmaster in the history of Hogwarts Phineas Black spotted the raven haired wizard, a look of anger flushed over his painted face. He actually reminded Harry of Uncle Vernon with his display of frustrated plumage.

"You boy! This is all your fault! With your total disregard for the safety of other students you've managed to turn this sacred place into nothing more than a bird cage."

Feeling about as tall as an ant Harry averted his gaze to the floor and followed Hermione the few remaining steps to the desk. Whatever ranting that the elder Black would've spouted at him was redirected toward the owl that had taken it upon itself to share its opinion of being rudely woken up on the man's canvas.

"Ah, Harry my boy." a familiar voice said bringing Harry's attention up from the owl pelt he was poking with the toe of his trainer trying to guess what kind of rodent skull he was looking at.

"Professor Dumbledore." he replied, his cheeks burning with the knowledge that the man he had viewed as a grandfather also knew of his incident earlier in the evening, or yesterday, he really wasn't quite sure what time it was.

Professor McGonagall still hadn't addressed the pair. Instead she seemed to be rather intently composing a letter. The quill was moving so quickly he wouldn't be surprised if the parchment caught fire. Every so often her hand would pause as her brow creased as she tried to figure out the best way to word the next line.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of Harry." Dumbledore's portrait went on.

"Even I had a few troubles after my duel with Grindewald, a person is not meant to have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Very few can go through with it and not have any problems. Those who don't, well they may have already had theirs before they began. You are more human for being effected by it than not."

Harry couldn't help but give a small smile at the mans comforting words.

"Duplicato." McGonagall said with a wave of her wand creating a huge stack of copies of whatever she had been writing when they arrived.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, would you mind helping me tie these letters to the owls so I can finally clear my office?"

Silently they grabbed a handful and began their work. After the first few Harry realized he didn't have to move from owl to owl because they came to him one by one as if in a cue. When the last avian flew out the window Hermione shut it and began to magically clean the room. It wasn't lost on Harry that she avoided Phineas' portrait. She even took the time to clean a particularly dirty stone right beside his frame. He didn't know if McGonagall had noticed, if she had she certainly didn't seem to care. Instead she busied herself getting a tray with a bottle of firewhiskey and gillywater and three tumblers. Setting it down on the table between the three chairs in front of the fireplace she motioned for them to have a seat.

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it as the Headmistress poured them all a generous measure of drink and handed out the glasses. Harry tossed it back, emptying the entire cup in one shot. It burned his throat but sent a feeling of warmth through him when it hit his stomach. Hermione chose to sip politely at hers, Harry was sure she really didn't approve of it but was biting her tongue, while Professor McGonagall had her glass resting against her forehead as if she was trying to will the drink into her body.

For the first time since he had ever seen her the old witch looked tired. The lines of age on her face looked deeper and her usual tight lipped smile was now a loose frown. Her immaculate tartan was now wrinkly and he spotted the odd feather that had somehow tucked itself away in the folds of her clothing.

"I insist you call me Minerva while we're in private Harry, you too Hermione. Merlin knows you've earned the right." she said, Hermione seemed to be fighting an internal struggle with herself over it and seemed close to losing despite the complete exhaustion in the older womans voice.

"Thank you Minerva." Harry said quietly watching a bead of firewhiskey that was running laps around the bottom of his glass. His voice seemed to placate Hermione and she mirrored him and finished what was left of her drink in one shot.

"I was actually surprised you arrived so soon, I thought you would have hidden yourself away until morning when we couldn't find you. But then again, we weren't trying very hard, you needed your space. Was Miss Greengrass a bother?"

Hermione arched her eyebrows in curiosity and looked at Harry clearly interested in his explanation. He wasn't about to indulge her with that information, after all he couldn't see how it was any of her business so he stuck with a simple answer.

"No."

Minerva smiled knowingly at him and took a sip of her gillywater.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush Harry but I was wondering what possessed you to attack the rest of the student body at dinner this evening."

The weave of the carpet was suddenly very interesting and he focused all his attention to the task ignoring the two witches in the room. Intricate gold lines intersected each other in a complicated pattern that clearly spoke of a Celtic background, what it was doing in the Scottish woman's office he wasn't sure of. Feeling their eyes on him he fidgeted in his seat and redirected his gaze to the fire. His eyes became unfocused as he lost himself in the depths of the dancing light and the occasional snaps of the logs.

Memories of the final confrontation between the forces of light and Voldemort's army flashed in his mind. The screams the wounded and dying filled his ears as the light of multi-colored spell fire illuminated the battlefield. Everywhere he looked he saw blood and death of friend and foe alike. He watched as families attacked each other in anger and hatred, lives ripped away before they had a chance to really begin. He could feel the weight of each lost soul on him like a wet blanket that he couldn't shake off. He choked back a sob as disorder, chaos, and madness threatened to suffocate him.

A rather loud snap from one of the logs brought him violently from his head. Jumping up he drew his wand and sent a _Reducto_ into the offending fireplace sending sparks, ash and flame flying through the office. The spell triggered something within him and he sent spell after spell into the same spot the warming fire had just occupied. Tears began to flow down his cheeks as the final battle replayed in his mind, each death he witnessed over and over again fueled his stream of destruction.

Noticing that his magic wasn't doing anything to the headmistress' fireplace he dropped his wand and feel to his knees pounding on the stone with his bare fists. The tears streamed down his face like rivers of despair. He barely registered that his knuckles were bleeding profusely at the abuse as his arms sent the crimson droplets flying. His assault didn't end until the pain from his broken hands overwhelmed him. Curling into a ball on the hearth he cried as grief and the weight of failure crashed over him. He felt like he was drowning.

Sobs racked his body as he curled up tighter wishing that he could just disappear. It was his fault so many people had died, his fault that the hunt for horcruxes had taken so long. If he had only been faster, smarter, then all those people could still be alive. He felt himself being taken into an embrace as a person's arms wrapped around him. It was warm and comforting and he wanted nothing more than to be lost in it. Burrowing himself deeper into the person he could feel himself being rocked as someone sang a soft lullaby.

Slowly his tears abated. Wet, matted hair stuck to his face as he brought his hands out from his self created shell and clung to the front of the robes of whoever was holding him. His mind recognized the feel of a woman's chest and a familiar smell. Putting two and two together he realized the person who was comforting him was Hermione. Instead of moving away like he would've done under any other circumstance he held her even tighter.

The combination of her embrace, her soft song, and the gentle rocking motion made him feel sleepy. Fighting the exhaustion he focused on the feeling of safety he had, like there was nothing more to be expected of him. He smiled into her soft chest and relaxed when he felt her kiss the top of his head. After a few moments enjoying her arms wrapped around him he tried to speak but found he couldn't. It was like he didn't have any vocal cords at all.

"Mione." he managed to croak after a few tries. His attempt at the first part of her name ended up coming out as a slight wheeze that was barely audible.

She didn't answer verbally, but Harry could feel the vibrations of her hummed acknowledgment.

"What was the song?" he whispered only for the reason his voice refused to even go a tone higher.

"A lullaby my mother used to sing to me." she replied in the same tone as if knowing anything higher to his emotional sensitive ears would sound like an explosion.

"Its nice, my first." his voice dropped so low it would've been drowned by the sound of the fire if there had been one.

He could feel her body stiffen then relax, he felt a smile in his hair.

"Its the first time I've ever sung it. I usually hum it to myself when I need to calm down." He gave a small snort at this comment.

"What?"

"Never heard you humming anything around exam time."

Harry smiled as she playfully slapped his knee. Cracking his eyelids open he looked up as his best friend for the first time since his second outburst. Her eyes were tired and a small smile tugged at her lips. Reaching up he brushed so damp hair off of her face, he realized he wasn't the only one that had been crying. He tucked the stray hair behind her ear and noticed she closed her eyes as his fingers stroked her cheek.

He continued to watch her as he absently brushed more stray hairs away from her face. Her cheeks were glowing in the light from the lamps that were placed around the room and a contented smile crossed her face as she leaned into the contact. Tangling his hand in her hair he slowly pulled her closer as he brought his face up.

Softly his lips brushed her, Harry supposed he should feel bad or quite possibly horrible about kissing his best mates girlfriend but he didn't think he had the emotional range for that anymore. Instead of pulling away in disgust Hermione leaned in and pulled Harry upright. Uncurling himself in her lap he ignored the protest from his aching back and pushed her gently on her back. If this had been normal circumstances he would've stopped and asked how they were on a bed and where said bed was, then we would've of possibly asked where the headmistress had gone to and be apologizing vehemently for the display of affection with Ron's girlfriend- of course then he would've been immediately appalled at what he was doing. Seeing as this was far from normal he couldn't bring himself to care and it seemed neither could Hermione.

Feeling around for a wand while his and Hermione's tongues played in each others mouths he closed the curtains of the four-poster bed and cast the silencing charm. With another flick of the wrist he cast a charm that he had been throughly embarrassed to research but was glad he had. Quickly he found the other wand and stowed them in the pillowcase. There was no point in having their wands lost in the shuffle of clothing and bodies.

Sliding his hands down her sides he slid them under her shirt reveling in the feeling of her skin. He groped her breasts through her bra eliciting a moan from her that caused her to intensify her kissing and her fingers to tense in his hair. His hands began to massage causing the witch beneath him to moan and arch her back, pressing herself against him at the same time pulling him closer. Deciding that her shirt was a hindrance he tugged it up gently. She got the message and wriggled so he could remove it without having to get up from straddling her.

With deftness that seemed out of place he removed her bra and tossed it somewhere to the side where he was sure she had tossed his own shirt. It would be much easier to sort through a pile of their clothing than it would be to have to search the sheets.

She moaned as he kissed down her neck, his lips dancing across her skin. His hands found their way back to her breasts and began to massage, his fingers brushing her nipples causing her to squirm. When his lips brushed against the scar that she had received from the battle in the Department of Mysteries he followed it like a road down to where his hands were.

Kissing her breast to her nipple his tongue flicked across it causing her to gasp and tighten her fingers in his hair as pleasure shot through her. Under his attention she moaned and arched her back pressing herself against him wishing he would end the teasing. She let out another gasp as she felt a hand apply pressure between her legs, slowly rubbing at the crotch of her jeans. Deciding she had enough she pulled his mouth back up to hers as her hands unbuttoned his pants. He unceremoniously shed them before slowly and almost reverently pulling hers off.

Her skin tingled at the feel of his lips kissing their way up her legs. She had a sharp intake of breath as he felt his breath on her womanhood that stirred something inside of her. Impatiently she pulled his lips up to hers their tongues passionately dancing as they tasted each other. Her hands slid down his chest and she grabbed his throbbing member causing his body to momentarily cease all action. As fast as it had come it passed and he moaned into her mouth as her hand slid up and down his erection.

Slowly she guided him into her, clawing into his back as he stretched her. While it hurt the pain was temporary and quickly faded as pleasure shot through her. She moaned as he thrust into her sending a feeling greater than anything she had caused herself through her core. Her cries of pleasure spurred him on as his hips moved faster. Her nails dug into his skin drawing blood but he didn't care, the only thing that mattered was the feeling of their connection.

She moaned his name loudly as a wave of pleasure unlike anything sent shivers up her spine. Arching her back she felt herself tighten around him causing him to lose whatever control he had. Releasing himself into her he thrust a few more times, eliciting a few more moans before he stopped.

He was as too well aware of the feeling of her body beneath his, him still wrapped up inside of her. The sounds of her breathing filled his ears. Looking into her eyes he saw her looking up at him lovingly while something else waited in the shadows. He knew what that feeling was too, he himself had it all to often, it was something he was sick of. Guilt.

Smiling he kissed her and rolled next to her, taking her naked body in his arms. She snuggled into his arms and lazily drew designs on his chest. He basked in the contact of her skin on his uninhibited, the feeling of her warmth on him.

"Hermione?" he whispered, once again talking in a normal volume seemed strangely against the rules.

"Yes Harry?"

Her tracing stopped and he felt her hand placed over his heart. Taking it in his he brought it to his mouth and kissed it.

"Why?" he didn't mean for it to sound as...cold as it did, but it was an incredibly important question all things considered. After all not every day does someone shag their best mate's girlfriend. He felt Hermione try to turn away from but he held her tighter until she relaxed.

"I'm not regretting it Hermione, I'm just curious."

He waited for her to answer. After a moment he realized she wasn't going to answer so he decided to answer the unasked question.

"You made me feel safe." He could feel her shift her gaze up to him but in the low light he couldn't make out her face.

"Its the only time I ever felt safe. Heck, I didn't even flinch when you touched me or even when I realized that I was being held by someone. It just felt so right. Like nothing could ever get to me.

"And this-" he squeezed her closer to him "feels right too."

"What about-"

"I don't know." Harry interrupted her then sighed. "I really don't."

"I can understand if we're going to keep this too ourselves."

He didn't say that he would also get over it if Hermione decided it was a horrible lapse of judgement on her part but she picked up on it anyways.

"I-I don't see this as a mistake. Its something but what that is I don't know. I mean I have Ron and you have Ginny. What would they think of us?"

"I honestly don't care."

Hermione's head snapped up so fast when it connected with Harry's jaw they could hear his teeth snap together. She quickly rolled over and began to feel his face pelleting him with apologies and repeated questions of his he was really alright. Eventually she settled down laying her head on his chest and smiling as she heard his heartbeat. She could feel the rumbling in his chest as he sighed.

"The truth is I was surprised I made this long without going loony. Ever since the end, I'm not sure how I feel about things I once said I did. I don't even really feel entirely like the same person, something changed. I'm not sure what it is or how to describe it- its just different.

"Take us for example, when Ron destroyed the locket I told him you were like a sister to me and now I love you. Not like a sister/brother love but I'm in love with you. Somethings just feel backwards and some like they shouldn't be there at all. I'm not making any sense am I?"

"Well-" Hermione started delicately "I'm not quite sure I knew I loved you until... well, tonight. Watching you go off like that, seeing all that pain, it tore me apart. I was there with Ron when Fred died and my reaction to his feelings was almost non-existant compared to yours.

"Honestly, things are happening too fast for me to really understand. Its not like theres a book on this."

She smiled at the last part knowing she set herself up to be poked fun at. Harry didn't let her down, he never had.

"You haven't found a book on a situation like this?" he asked with mock shock. "I can at least name a few.... well not name, but I can most certainly point you to the reproduction section of a physiology text book."

"Hush you!" she said playfully slapping his chest.

"Do you regret this?" Harry asked suddenly serious.

"No." she replied kissing him before settling back down on his chest.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Where are we and who's bed are we in? Please tell me we aren't in Minerva's office still." His heartbeat sped up dramatically as he tried to come up with excuses. His panicked state was cut short by Hermione's laughter.

"Where in the Head Girl suite, this is my bed. We had one of the house elves bring us in here after you stopped trying to kill the fireplace. Minerva thought it best you weren't left alone after that and here we are."

"And I am most definitely not alone."

"I would say not."

"I can gladly say I feel more complete than I ever have."

"Really?" Hermione asked, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she heard the answer.

"Absolutely."

"What are we going to do about Ron and Ginny?" She felt bad about the fact that she and Harry had done it behind their friends back considering they were already in a relationship but something he said struck a chord in her. And like Harry, she just couldn't bring herself to care as much as she used to.

"We'll deal with it in the morning." He hoped the answer pleased her. He was already having trouble staying awake with all the emotional exhaustion he was feeling topped with their recent activity, all in all he was still surprised he was conscious and coherent.

"Alright, good night Harry."

"Night Hermione, love you."

Harry's breath hitched in his throat as the last part slipped out of his mouth. He hadn't planned on saying it but yet there it was. All he could do now was hope that it didn't make the witch beside him too uncomfortable.

"I love you too." She said burying herself happily into his chest.

Harry fought off sleep for a few moments longer enjoying the feeling of holding Hermione in his arms and her slow sleeping breaths. Eventually his tiredness became to much and he joined his companion in slumber.

break

Yes I know it seems I have a habit of ending things with sleeping but I can assure you it will not become a habit. I hope. Share your thoughts on that at any rate.


	5. Secrets of Boulders

_I know its been a while so I'm just going to save all my apologies and explanations until after you've read the latest chapter. Like always, anything that is trademarked isn't mine and everything that isn't is. Have fun and enjoy!_

_P.S. This chapter has the same content as originally posted I have only added to my afterword as something has come up that i see fit to address in such an emergency-ish manner._

The last few days Harry and Hermione had been avoiding their respective Weasley's as much as they could without rousing their suspicions that something was different. Every moment Harry spent with Ginny was increasingly dull. He was so keenly aware of his feelings for her slipping away he could've measured it in the falling sands of one of the house point counters. If she could tell she never did say anything but he had a feeling a storm was brewing on the horizon and it was only matter of time before it came full bear on him. Hermione wasn't faring much better , while the first night they had slept together she had slept peacefully the second night she cried for hours until she fell into a fitful sleep. The third day had been spent much like her first year, running to the loo to cry out her frustrations, and much like first year Ron had no clue. On the fourth day she had grown tired of crying about her charade and became numb to her betrayal of her boyfriend.

With a huff Hermione toppled over the arm of the couch in the headgirl's room her head falling into Harry's lap. Setting down the book on runes he had been reading he ran his hand through her hair and smiled down at her, a rare act anywhere outside their new sanctum. Here they didn't feel like they had to keep up any fronts and freely joked and smiled with each other.

"What are you smiling at?" she asked with mock outrage as she turned in his lap so she could look up at him.

"Nothing." he replied still smiling, his finger tracing a pattern on her forehead.

Hermione sighed contentedly as she recognized the trail, it was something she was quickly becoming acquainted with, the rune for love. Harry had taken up reading all of her old rune textbooks in his spare time and seemed to be picking up their meanings at a surprising rate even if he had yet to show any interest in the actual application of them.

Interlocking their fingers she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. While they hadn't shagged since that first night they had taken to small, intimate gestures when no one was around and sleeping in the same bed during the night. They had already questioned why Ron had yet to ask where Harry was sleeping seeing as he never went into the boy's dorm, but it would seem that the red-head assumed he had different sleeping quarters after the incident in the Great Hall. Outside of the headgirl's room they maintained an air of normalcy, the only differences were when they sat together they'd position their feet so they were almost touching and walking down the corridors they'd brush their hands against each others.

"So what has you all huffy today?" Harry asked using his free hand to play with her hair.

"A couple of third years in Ravenclaw decided it would be funny to fill their first year's dorms with suds. I just happened to be patrolling in the area when I saw a few of them outside their commons entrance trying to clean themselves up. They told me what the upperclassmen did so I went in and banished it all. No one wanted to tell me who did it so I just gave all the third years four nights of detention with Mr. Filch. They tried to argue about it but there wasn't anything they could do without giving away who had cast the spells."

"Sounds like even the Ravenclaws do pranks. That kind of surprises me actually, thought they would find it a bit beneath them."

"That was before last year." Hermione whispered like the weight of the words would bring their world crashing down around them.

Harry grew quiet looking at the empty fireplace as he absentmindedly ran his fingers along Hermione's cheeks. After a few moments fighting the feelings of sadness and despair he looked down so see her looking up at him with a look of concern and a spark of mischief.

"I'm alright. Whats that look for?" He asked trying not to let the negative emotions overwhelm him.

"I banished the suds into their trunks and seeing as the suds completely filled the first years rooms from top to bottom they're under considerable pressure being packed into that small amount of space. They're probably going to explode as soon as someone opens them." She said with a grin.

Harry's mouth twitched as he tried his best to give her a stern look but ended up snorting trying to hold in his laughter. His snort caused Hermione to start giggling and in turn broke his resolve and he found himself dissolving into uncontrollable laughter as well.

"I can't believe my ears, you counter pranked a group of Ravenclaws." Harry chocked out between breaths.

"What else was I going to do, detention would only make them try harder not to get caught next time so I gave them a little taste of their own medicine."

"Trying to justify it?" he said cocking his eyebrow at her. "You could've just said you thought they deserved it."

Hermione ducked her head to hide her blush from being caught so squarely in her reasoning. It was something Ron would have just said 'You're impossible to understand'. She felt happy knowing that there indeed was someone who understood her so well and that they had found each other even if the circumstances were questionable from the conventional moral standpoint.

"When are we going to tell them?" she found herself asking sobering the mood in the room.

"Eventually they'll confront us on it." Harry said quietly looking at a spot on the wall.

"I don't like hiding this Harry, it just feels wrong to keep it from everybody."

"I know."

"Then why don't we tell them? You aren't ashamed of us are you?" Hermione asked uncertainly. Her doubts about the genuineness of their relationship had been building since that night. She wondered if Harry was only staying with her out of a perceived obligation, or because he really had feelings for her. Her head was roughly removed from Harry's lap as he stood up abruptly striding over to the wall he had been staring at.

Hermione found her blood pounding in her ears as she stared at the back of her first friend in the wizarding world. Her heart plummeted as she braced herself to hear the words she had been fearing for several days. Time seemed to slow down as she watched Harry, eventually he spoke.

"You didn't believe me when I told you?" his voice so low she strained to hear it.

A moment passed, the tick of the clock was thunder in the silence.

"Its not that I don't believe you when you said that, its just that.... its just that could've been in the moment. I have to know its real Harry, I can't stand wondering if this these feelings are real." her voice matching his.

Silence, another peel of thunder.

"I'm not ashamed of being with you, I couldn't ever be ashamed of if. Even if we had been together in first year I wouldn't have been ashamed. Its just that I want my feelings for you to not be pressured for as long as they can be. You know what it was like for me in fourth year, you were part of it too. Skeeter and her damn articles, my entire existence under a microscope, everyone thinking I was an attention seeking prat, even Ron.

"Its going to be like that for you too now. Everything you do, every letter they get a hold of, every conversation someone overhears, what you have for breakfast. It will all be dissected and pinned up for the whole world to make every assumption but the correct ones. Could you stand the accusing eyes and mouths of our world when they learn about us if we haven't solidified ourselves, our relationship? Could you still develop something meaningful with me with everybody else condemning us every moment of the day?"

Hermione looked down at her lap feeling ashamed. While she felt and knew she was right to have her concerns, she had completely forgotten about the reality of their situation. It was she who had been caught up in the moment with her doubts. Thinking about what he had said about being able to make a relationship with the scrutiny of their entire world upon them she found that she couldn't definitely answer yes.

Standing up she went over to him and wrapped her arms around him breathing in his scent. The sound of his heart soothed her and she sighed contentedly.

"I'm sorry Harry, I wasn't thinking about everything else but I just had to know."

"I know." he said turning in her arms to face her. "Its alright."

They stood silently in the storm of ticks and tocks, finding peace in just holding each other.

"Its kind of strange having the roles reversed." Harry said with a hint of amusement.

"Yeah, it is." Hermione smiled.

"What are we going to do now?" he asked.

Hermione looked up at him foxily.

"Right now we're going to go to bed and let what happens happen. Tomorrow we'll talk about how we're going to do things."

Harry grinned and followed the bushy haired witch as she pulled him by the hand to 'their' room.

Looking to see if he was alone in the entrance hall Harry shrunk his bag and stuck it in his pocket before trudging out of the castle. The cool autumn air blew through his hair making it even more disheveled as he ignored the urge to shiver. Last night he and Hermione had shagged for the second time in their short and clandestine relationship, that morning he had been on top of the world.

That was until they had decided to go to the Great Hall for breakfast; that morning Ginny latched onto him and it had taken all he had not to shove her away. He had given her a half hearted kiss that she didn't seem to notice as she fretted over the placement exams that were being administered that day. Hermione didn't fare much better as Ron had taken up the task of feeding her breakfast. While it was a surprisingly romantic move it was ruined by him spilling half the food on her lap. Eventually she grew fed up with it and left mumbling something about studying and the headgirl's work not even being done on a Saturday. He had stayed at the table long past Ron and Ginny's departure waiting for most of the hall to clear so he could venture out and pass the day alone.

Making sure to avoid familiar haunts by the lake, he found a comfortable spot among a patch of boulders on the shoreline far from the eyes of the castle and pulled out one of Hermione's old rune books and resumed his reading. He didn't know why they captured his attention, he had never had any interest in the class itself nor did he have one currently, but interesting they were so he read on, drawing each rune in the air with his wand as he sounded them out to himself. About a fourth of the way through the tome, the hairs on the back of his neck stood and he couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't alone. Slowly setting down his reading material, he scanned his surroundings, noticing nothing amiss. With the sudden crunch of rocks to his left he dove forward sending a spell in the direction of the sound, illicting a scream from whoever had been creeping up on him.

Peeking over the edge of a rock he had taken cover behind he recognized who he had shot at.

"Hello Daphne." He said standing and pocketing his wand.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you, Potter?" She screeched at him, her eyes blazing with anger.

He shrugged.

"I'm a bit jumpy. That'll teach you to sneak up on me next time." He smiled at her as he retook his seat. Pulling out his book he continued reading as if he hadn't almost just killed her.

"I wasn't _sneaking_ up on you, you idiot. I was just walking not expecting to get blown up by Harry bloody Potter."

Harry hummed in acknowledgment but didn't comment further.

Looking back to where his spell had passed her Daphne noticed what had once been one large boulder was now many considerably smaller ones. Shakily she dusted off her robes before taking a seat next to the powerful wizard. Silence passed between them as she listened to the waves lazily lapping the shore and the occasional turn of a page by her companion. Sighing she pulled her knees to her chin and looked over to Harry watching him read. Eventually he returned her gaze.

"Yes?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"Just wondering what brings you all the way out here. I would've thought that you'd be spending time with your friends or girlfriend not hiding away from the world."

"And what does the world know of me?" he said frowning down at the book in his lap.

"Probably not nearly as much as it should and thinks it knows more than it does." she replied looking out at the water.

Harry didn't respond instead staring at the pages before him as if they were a window to another place.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"I just wanted to be away from them, from everybody." His voice dropping to a whisper.

Daphne suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable, like she was intruding on his moment of solitude.

"So what are you doing all the way down here, 'hiding away from the world', as you put it?" He asked smirking at her.

"I just like coming down here, its peaceful. Theres no one here expecting me to behave a certain way or forcing me to uphold the family's honor. I can relax and think for myself." She answered ignoring his sarcasm.

"It is peaceful." He said closing his book and leaning back on his arms.

Daphne was painfully aware how close their hands were, she could almost feel the heat from his. Barely suppressing the strange urge to just reach out and take his hand in hers, she started kicking pebbles into the water watching the ripples they made. After some time Harry joined her and they turned it into a game of who could kick their's further. Soon the unspoken rules broke down and they just started kicking in as many as the smooth rocks as they could. Eventually they ran out of stones in the immediate area around their feet and they passed into a companionable silence.

In a move that surprised Daphne, Harry wrapped his hand around hers. She felt her heart jump into her throat but she couldn't find the will to remove it from his grasp. Looking over at him she found him looking at her strangely. She watched his lips as they slowly came to hers, her mind screamed at her to move but it was like she didn't have any control of herself. Instead of pulling away she leaned in deepening their kiss. Neither of them knew how long they stayed that way, their lips locked together, warm breath on each others cheek.

Tentatively they drew apart; Harry, averting his gaze to the now rock-less trench at the base of their perch, and Daphne, blushing furiously at a tree off in the opposite direction, their hands still intertwined.

"I'm sorry." Harry said quietly. "I- I shouldn't have done that."

"Damn right you shouldn't have!" Daphne said ripping her hand away from Harry's funneling her embarrassment into righteous indignation.

Getting her anger under control she peered at Harry out of the corner of her eye and felt her heart breaking. Instead of a strong, dark lord slayer he was small and withdrawn, like a lost first year. Kneeling in front of him she lifted his chin and offered him a smile.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, I was just embarrassed." she apologized.

"But you do have a girlfriend Harry, you can't just go kissing me or any other girl. Most barely feel comfortable with their boyfriends having any kind of prolonged touching with another girl."

He grunted in response tearing his eyes from his knees to meet hers.

"Now, I am flattered that you would've even considered kissing such a lowly Slytherin as I, but you have to think of your relationship with ... whatsherface."

Harry snorted in amusement and cracked a watery smile.

"Thats better." Daphne said, retaking her seat keeping her hands in her lap this time.

"Don't know for how much longer." He said quietly.

She looked at him quizzically.

"What do you mean, trouble in paradise?"

He looked at her through his bangs.

"Sorry."

"I don't know what it is, I'm just not attracted to her anymore. I was before I... disappeared and I kept on thinking when it was all over we'd be together and happy. But something happened out there, something that changed me. I don't know if its for better or worse, I just know that I'm not the same person that I used to be. Part of me is still trying to be what everyone wants me to be and the other part just wants me to be who I am." Harry said watching the giant squid play with some students on the far side of the lake.

To say that Daphne was in shock would be an understatement. Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, and a Gryffindor to boot, was confiding in a Slytherin that he barely knew. A year and a half ago she would have told anyone that told her she'd be listening to the secrets of the Golden Boy that they had taken one too many bludgers to the head.

"So why don't you break up with her?"

Harry sighed, fingering the cover of his book.

"Its not so simple as that."

"What do you mean? How hard can it be? I mean, everyone knows that shes your best mate's sister, and that'll make things awkward, but if he can't get past after all you've been through together it makes one wonder how important your friendship is." She explained.

Harry fell quiet once again leaving Daphne to process what she had learned. Was he holding onto a girl he didn't love anymore just to keep his best friend happy? There were rumors about his life before he showed up at Hogwarts, about how muggle relatives treated him like rubbish and he was lower than dirt. Ironically that was the reverse of the most conservative pureblood ideology. And if the rumors were true it would make sense why he would go to such lengths to keep the few people he considered as friends happy even at his own detriment. The Weasley boy didn't have the best reputation of sticking by Harry either, only a blind, deaf, and dumb person would've missed his jealousy at Harry's name coming out of the Goblet of Fire back in fourth year. His attitude didn't change until after he saw that the tournament could have killed him did he reconcile, and like a good friend Harry had taken him back. Personally, Daphne would have made him beg on his hands and knees for forgiveness, but she guessed that's what separated him from all other wizards.

"Its just not that simple." Harry whispered, reiterating his point as if he was waiting for her to ask a particular question.

Not knowing what he was looking for she squeezed his hand and stood up stretching.

"Well as fun as this has been, its lunch time and I'm famished."

Looking behind her she noticed Harry hadn't moved, but was eying her warily. She paused confused then something clicked in her head.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone what happened here. What happens at the rocks stays at the rocks." She reassured him with a smile. "So you coming?"

Returning her smile he hopped up excitedly, tucking his book back into his bag and swinging it over his shoulder.

"You know, we really do need to come up with a better name for it than 'The Rocks'." He said as they walked back up to the castle.

"I'm sure we'll find something eventually." Daphne replied bumping him with her hip before running ahead of him leaving him to give chase.

_It has recently come to my attention that I am losing readers because they believe this to be a miss filed story, let me start by assuring you that it is indeed, a Harry and Bellatrix story. You may be wondering what Hermione has to do with it, or even Daphne, and your confusion at these actions mirrors Harry's own confusion at this tulmultious time. Bellatrix will come so be patient with me, enjoy the read, and give things time to develop. Personally i hate it when a character drastically changes personality across teh span of a paragraph without knowing what led them to become so radicaly different and I am sharing that with you by writing this the way I am. So please don't lose heart if you want to see Harry and Bellatrix. And I'm sorry to all those who came back expecting another chapter._

_I know its been an incredibly long time since I have updated and I'd like to offer my sincerest apologies to my loyal readers, those who subscribed, and anyone who has stopped by looking for a good read. Real life hit me hard the past couple of months, that combined with other stories and multiple complete overhauls of the story line for Sands of Change have set back that latest chapter. I would've posted a message about how the story wasn't abandoned but personally I despise it when an author does that and makes their subscribers get excited for another chapter only for them to discover its a dud. _

_I also have another story I've been working on so if you like my writing drop me a message and I may see it fit to also drop my Oubliette onto for you. _

_If you haven't guessed by the way I'm making this story twister than a swizzle straw I like to keep the readers on their toes and guessing where things are headed. So please, post some reviews for me and feel free to debate on whats going to happen and how. I also have my wife driving me to post up a new chapter every week and a half so you should expect another chapter up by next Wednesday, the 15__th__ of July, at the latest. Until next time, Doom West._


	6. Lonely Funeral

_Well people, heres the next chapter right on time, if possibly a day early. As per usual I do not own, nor will I receive any monetary benefit, from anything that is not mine. Enjoy!_

* * *

Peeling away from Harry without so much as a glance in his direction, Daphne took her seat at the Slytherin table and quietly filled her plate; all the while ignoring the questioning look from Malfoy. Eventually his unwaivering attention began to spoil her appetite. Politely replacing her silverware on the table she wiped her mouth before turning to the blond boy and giving him the iciest stare she could muster.

"Yes, Malfoy? Is there something you wanted, or were you just going to stare at me all day like some kind of idiot?"

"Why did you come in at the same time as Potter? Your face was flushed the same as his, what were you doing with him?" He asked angrily.

"I wasn't aware that randomly walking into the Great Hall for a meal at the same time as someone else did constituted as evidence that they were doing anything of a questionable nature together. If that were the case, should I be worried about all the times you've entered a room with Crabbe and Goyle?"

With Malfoy fuming she returned to her meal but her peace did not last long.

"You didn't answer the second question, Greengrass." He said sneering as if he had caught her in a trap.

"I believed it was already answered in the nature of my reply." She said airly. "But if that was too complicated to understand, I was doing nothing with him. As for our faces being flushed, its autumn, and that means its getting colder outside, and when it gets colder generally peoples cheeks and faces get a little red. Are we done with our lesson or are you going to ask me for my permission to begin dating Astoria?"

Astoria, who had been listening in to her sister giving Malfoy a verbal bashing, ducked her head to hide her blush. Malfoy blubbered like a fish as he tried to come up with a retort. Unable to settle on anything sufficiently scathing he began to attack the chicken on his plate with a murderous look.

Deciding to seek out Hermione after lunch Harry made his way to the library. As usual the bushy haired witch was at the furthest table, surrounded by the bookshelves as if they were a forest. Which at one time they had been and that thought amused him to no end, he wondered what her reaction would be if he pointed out that a large grove was probably killed to give her the books she cherished so much. Bringing up the possibility that the very pages she was turning could have been made out of some magical creature's home held some merit but he didn't want to give her another thing to crusade for.

He stopped at the end of a row and watched as she read. A particularly stubborn lock of hair refused to stay tucked behind her ear and repeatedly fell in front of her face obscuring the words. After the third time, hearing her growl with frustration, Harry conjured a hair tie and came up behind her. Ignoring her startled squeak he secured the brown tresses as best he could.

"Hey beautiful." He said, kissing the top of her head before taking a seat across from her.

"Harry!" she admonished in a whisper. "What are you doing? Anyone could've just seen us!"

"Relax Hermione, its the first Saturday of the school year and about ninety percent of the student body just completed most, if not all, of their placement exams. The last place any of them want to be is in the library. Aside from you and I, the only other person in here is Madam Pince."

Looking like she was about to argue she smiled and resumed her reading, humming quietly to herself while running her foot against Harry's leg. After watching her for a few more moments he spoke up.

"What have you found that's so interesting?"He asked curiously unable to make out the writing from the other side of the table.

"Herbert Hooper's History of Interactions with Magical Entities, its all about the interactions between Witches and Wizards and magical creatures of Britain." She said in an excited whisper but then looked down at the book as if it was it's fault that it was written the way it was.

"But it seems to be a bit biased, talking about how they enlightened the _savages_ and lesser beings. Aside from that its actually very informative, goes into detail about the various cultures even if it was only to insult how they were different."

"Good to know the wizarding world hasn't changed a great deal since..." Harry peaked at the cover, "1564."

The both lapsed into silence, Hermione continued to read while Harry had taken up looking out the window across the grounds.

"It really is amazing, in a frightening sort of way, how the Ministry continues to function the same as it always has despite the fact that countless people have tried to take it over and force it to change." Harry said looking over to his bushy haired friend.

"Thats why its up to us to change it from the inside." Hermione said without looking up. "Think of it like evolution, the magical society is an animal that has ceased its own development voluntarily despite the fact the world around it continues to change. Eventually its going to either silently pass away as Muggleborns come in to learn what they can and then leave, forming their own communities and slowly replacing the Ministry itself, or another animal, like Grindewald, will kill it and take its place. Either of these outcomes is possible and a completely natural process but both of them will cause the loss of an incredible amount of knowledge. So its up to us to stimulate the necessary changes so it will survive longer."

Harry felt himself prickling at her words.

"Then let someone else change it or let it pass away quietly."

Hermione looked up at him startled by his words, this wasn't the Harry she had grown up with. He looked defeated, like he truly didn't care what happened to the Wizarding World.

"You seem surprised. You're a smart witch Hermione, you know nothing lasts forever and everything dies. Ron will die, you will die, and sooner or later this way of life will die too."

"Why are you talking like that Harry?" she asked reaching across the table putting her hand on his.

"What has this world ever done for us? They praised an infant as a hero because his mother died to protect him then spat on him when they didn't like what he said, they look down on you because of your heritage despite the fact that you're more intelligent than ninety percent of them. So tell me, what in our experiences has led us to come to the conclusion this is worth us slaving over to save?"

Hermione fell quiet thinking of his words. There had been much that had happened to them in their short time in the wizarding world that supported his arguments, but then there had been those wonderful moments. The first time they had done a spell, their first broom ride, even Hermione had been exhilarated despite her terror, their first magical holiday, there were too many to remember but the more she thought about it the more she saw that something was wrong.

Then it clicked with her, it was wonder, their wonderment at magic itself had been slowly corroded. Where once it had been something grand and beautiful she now only saw it as something to study, to learn, a tool to be utilized and nothing more. It wasn't just their saturation in the wizarding culture that had killed it but their realization at the destruction it could cause that had jaded their view of it. She no longer had that overwhelming feeling of joy when she learned a new spell like she had in her first year, she no longer wrote back to her parents with unbridled excitement about what she saw at Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. The revelation was sobering and depressing.

"You see it now too. Its not just a government or an attitude you're trying so hard to change Hermione, its a belief system, and it's not in your power to change someone's beliefs no matter how hard you try. No spell or amount of magic can do that." Harry said sadly his eyes on their hands.

Pulling away from him, Hermione held onto the edges of her open book as if she'd fall into a chasm if she let go. Her shocked eyes started unmoving at a space not filled with words at the top of the page. How had her view of magic changed so much?

"There you are! I've been searching half the castle trying to find you two..." Ron's voice trailed off as he saw the state his friends were in.

"Why are you looking so glum?"

"Not glum, in thought. You know, something you don't recognize because you don't do it very often." Harry smiled deflecting Ron's next question.

"Oi!" the red head started before Madam Pince descended upon them sounding like a leaking gas pipe.

Having the decency to look properly chastised Harry and Ron broke out into laughter when they were sure the librarian was far enough away as to not hear them. Hermione herself looked on the verge of joining them hiding her face behind her book.

"So you lot going to come down to the Quidditch Pitch to watch the tryouts?" Ron said sufficiently quiet this time.

"Could use your help picking out the new Seeker, mate."

Harry looked over to Hermione, her eyes questioning him from over Hooper's book. Glancing back to Ron, he saw him trying to hide his hopeful look behind a nonchalant front. Personally he really didn't want to go out to the pitch where people would ogle him, but if he didn't do something that appeared as 'normal' they'd start asking more questions and speculating about him. Or even worse, they would start following him around to learn about what he was up to.

"Sure, I'll be there."

"Excellent!" Ron said sliding into the chair next to Hermione and pulling it close to hers.

"So what are you reading, love?"

"Herbert Hooper's History of Interactions with Magical Entities." She said with a grin.

"Herbert who's what? What are you reading that for?" He asked resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Just brushing up on the early interactions between the wizarding world and magical creatures, it has an interesting chapter on House Elves."

"You aren't on about S.P.E.W. are you?"

"No Ron, I'm not on about S.P.E.W. I'm on to something bigger than that."

Ron let out a theatrical groan flopping back into his seat.

"What's a poor bloke to do when his girlfriend cares more about Goblins than she does him?"

Hermione swatted him with the book before returning to reading it. Resting his head on her shoulder again he whispered into her ear causing her to blush a bright red.

"Ron, Harry's right there." she implored.

"Right, sorry about that mate." Ron's voice trailed off as he saw the seat once occupied by their friend was now empty.

"When did he leave?" he asked receiving only a worried glance from Hermione.

Harry stalked away from the library, ignoring the few greetings sent his way by passing students. The scene he had just witness felt like a hot knife twisting in his gut, it wasn't because he had to watch Hermione and Ron acting affectionately, that was the nature of keeping up pretenses. No, his anger was because he could tell Hermione was enjoying Ron's attention and behavior. It was one thing to act like you were enjoying it but he could tell that she really was. The way she shifted toward him when he sat next to her, the swooning look in her eye as he tactfully asked for Harry to come down for the tryouts, the ease of her change of demeanor when he showed up.

Ducking into an unused classroom he stopped in front of the teachers desk, leaning against it for support. He knew Hermione would stick by him and do what she thought needed to be done to help him and keep him safe, she had risked his ire during third year when she had informed McGonagall that he had received a Firebolt from unknown sources, was she doing the same thing here? Making him feel safe, loved, and that there was someone on his side when he felt the whole world coming to bear on him. Was she even capable of giving up something as precious as her virginity for him? The possibilities swirled in his mind, his rage building at the thought that she could just be leading him on until she saw him stable enough to be pointed in other directions for help.

With an angry roar his tumultuous emotions triggered a burst of accidental magic that sent the neatly arranged desks flying into the walls. The sound of splintering wood and twisting metal filled the small room with a symphony of destruction, Harry hardly noticed as flying splinters rebounded at him cutting his face and hands and embedding themselves in his robes. Getting his ragged breathing under control he surveyed the damage he had caused. What had once been well made and decorative seats and desks were nothing more than piles of broken wood and nails lining the edges of the room, the black board was in shards and the teacher's desk more resembled mulch than anything else.

"Damn, now I have to fix this." He said with a sigh, his anger abating with his outburst.

Pulling out his wand he set to work casting _Reparo _more times than he could count. After half an hour of casting the room was back to its previous state, all except for the teacher's desk. Being so close to the source of magic had left it more mangled than any of the furniture and seemed to be beyond his ability to put back together.

"Having some trouble Mr. Potter?" Headmistress McGonagall asked from the doorway.

"A little." He said sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

She scanned the room with her sharp gaze, her mouth pressed into its customary thin-lipped scowl. Finding nothing amiss but the pile of wood chips where a teachers desk was supposed to go she closed the door behind her and came beside Harry.

"Well you certainly did quite a number here, Harry." She said, her voice softer than usual.

"Sorry about that professor-"

"Minerva." the older witch interrupted.

"Minerva." Harry corrected. "I had a little accidental magic incident and broke a few things, I've managed to fix most of it."

"Indeed, from what I was told it sounded like you were trying to dismantle Hogwarts one classroom at a time." She said with a hint of humor.

Harry looked down at his trainers, no longer did he wear the worn out and taped together ones the Dursley's had been so kind to 'provide' him with. After all the funerals, he had gone on a modest shopping spree at the urging of the Weasley clan purchasing an entirely new wardrobe. Ron had suggested they burn his old clothes in a large bonfire and hold a party but Harry rejected that idea saying they didn't know how much harm it could do to the Burrow's yard if they did. His friend had quickly agreed and early the next morning Harry quietly left the house taking the trunk full of tattered scraps of cloth he had worn for so long up to the old tree where they had taken the portkey to the Quidditch World Cup.

Almost reverently he had resized the trunk and ran his hand over the clothing as memories flashed before his eyes. Pulling an over sized shirt to his chest he cried, cried for the life that had been thrust upon, cried for for the way he had been treated for so long without knowing why, cried for that feeling of wanting to be loved by his relatives that he still felt even now despite what he said in front of other people. When all his tears had been spent he replaced the shirt he had removed and buried the trunk at the base of the tree and covered it up again making it barely discernible from the ground around it. He had stayed there staring at the same spot of grass until the sun was nearly at its peak and was only pulled away when he heard the Weasley's calling him for lunch.

The sound of Minerva's voice pulled him from his recollection.

"I find myself rather pleased to have been pointed in your direction Harry, I've been meaning to talk to you ever since you assaulted my fire place the other evening." her Scottish brogue becoming more pronounced.

Harry just looked at her waiting for her to continue.

"Quite frankly, I'm worried about you. I don't know how you managed to carry the burden you have from such a young age without it breaking you, and with Voldemort gone it would be horrible to see you break now."

He opened his mouth to object but Minerva plowed on giving him no opening.

"Do not try to say that everything is fine because only a fool would believe you. I remember an eleven year old wizard fighting against that evil man when no one would listen to him, including myself as regretful as that maybe. You've been constantly on the look out against him even when no one would listen, it practically consumed you during your sixth year. You may have thought everyone was ignoring you as we had done so often in the past but I assure you, we noticed. Fighting against Voldemort had become your life. To be honest it came as a surprise when you made your advance on Ms. Weasley.

"You've been fighting for so long that you probably don't know how to stop. While this may come as a surprise to those who don't understand and can't comprehend what you've been through it does not come as a surprise to some of the staff here. What I'm trying to say, Harry, is that we're here to help you if and whenever you ask. That is all, I do believe Mr. Weasley wanted you down at the pitch for the Quidditch tryouts."

Harry stood staring at remnants of the teachers desk taking in Minerva's words. Was that the answer to why he was feeling so differently? Could he not end his own personal battle with Voldemort even though the man was dead? Feeling the need to get out of the suddenly claustrophobic castle he walked to the door in a daze.

"And Harry," Minerva called out stopping him in the doorway, "please refrain from attacking anymore innocent furniture."

Cracking a wary smile he closed the door behind him leaving the Headmistress with the remains of the only object he couldn't fix himself. Pulling out her wand she waved it at the pile of wood and frowned when not a single chip moved.

_

* * *

_

There it is, chapter six of Sands, currently I have no clever name for it but I will by the time you read this. I'd like to thank my wife for once again proof reading for me and still enjoying what I've written at the same time. I would also like to thank the few people that did leave me reviews, its nice to see that people enjoy my writing enough to take the time to post something no matter how short.

_I think I'm going to be making a habit out of saying this but this is a Harry and Bellatrix story as much as it seems that it is not at the moment. Please be patient and enjoy how I am taking the time to develop characters. Too often I feel like the author has just thrust what they want to write upon me without making it credible to any degree, thus taking away from or totally destroying my enjoyment of their work._

_Lastly, my laptop is dead. Something heavy teamed up with gravity and attacked from above. Now I'm in Iraq with a dead laptop, currently I am using one of the wonderfully provided computers at the 'internet and phone cafe' if it can be called that. I have some thing coming up soon but I will still try my best to keep to my update schedule so if things are a day or two late please be patient with me. _

_Hope you enjoyed! Until next time, Doom West._


End file.
