Inuyasha Without You

A/N – Hi guys, some people have been prompting me to re-do some of my Inuyasha work sooo... This was a story that I originally wrote four or five years ago that I am re-doing and re-formatting because let's face it, the first version was pretty awful. Thanks for reading and don't forget to **review!** :)

**BTW:** Only read if you have seen the _Inuyasha Movie: Swords Of An Honorable Ruler._

Summary: This story takes place before Inutaisho dies but after he kill's Takemaru. Laying in his the ruins of his empire, he thinks about his relationship with his eldest son and the child they have together. Mpreg. Yaoi.

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_**_-_-_- Sesshomaru's POV_-_-_-**_

Knowing that he was probably dead by now, I clenched my eyes shut. Trying to will away the tears that were hiding just behind my pale eye lids.

_He._

_My Father._

_My... lover. _

I took one last sniff at the smoke and blood saturated air that had mingled with his scent as the wind swept it up the side of the cliff that I was perched on top of.

**_-_-_- _Flashback_-_-_-_**

"_I love you... I love you so much father, please... Don't do this!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Tears streaming down my face dirtied face. We had just been sparring... when he... when he... How could he do something so selfish? _

"_I am sorry Sesshomaru, but I have made up my mind. This is the way things have to end. There is no other way. I won't allow you to protect me for it is my job to protect you." _

_I watched as he turned away from me, sheathing his sword as he began to walk away from my helpless form. Ha. The moment almost seemed amusing. My uke was walking away from me and he wasn't showing a glimmer of emotion. _

"_What about the baby?" I shouted, not caring if any one heard me. It was long enough that he had tried to keep that secret from me. _

_He looked over his shoulder. His sharp golden eyes glaring at me. "The child will be dealt with accordingly."_

Iturned away from the sight of my father's apparent suicide. He sacrificed his life and the life of our unborn child for a mortal who bore him a son. I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of the situation.

_A life for a life._

_**_-_-_-Inutaisho's POV_-_-_-**_

I started to wheeze as I watched Takemaru's corpse fall to the floor of my ruined palace. His blood ran together with the rain water that was falling down onto my scorched palace. The once pristine polished cherry wood floors now charred. An ugly memory. The pain was incredible still, but I had made it through to this point. I dropped Sounga, the powerful demon sword slide a few feet away, the demonic voice still chuckling in my head.

"_What a waste. You won and your still going to die." _He cackled.

"Shut up." I growled harshly. My legs finally started to weaken as blood flowed out of me in rivers.

_I just have to make it... a little longer. _

I staggered and fell to my knees. I watched in disdain as my hakama's dirtied with even more ash and blood. I looked behind me for any shelter from the rain that was within my limited reach. I saw that most of the walls were still standing, a long with a good portion of the ceiling still attached to the tops. I used whatever strength that I had left in my legs to push myself backwards until I felt the solid wood wall on my back.

I unwound the strings that held the armor on my body, the pieces of metal clattering to the floor. I Spread my legs open as far as they would go before gasping out in pain as another contraction courses through my spent body. I tried to massage my waist as I felt the head of the baby turning and pushing through my pelvic bone. Blood gushed from my wounds and my newly formed birth canal. My water had broken as I ran over here to save Izayoi and Inuyasha and now I felt my pregnancy coming to an end. And just in time.

Totosai and the others had promised to find Sounga and the baby after he was sure everyone had gone and Takemaru was dead. I still had no name choices, though. So, Sesshomaru would have to name it when Totosai delivers the babe to my son... my lover.

It was going to be a powerful little one. Which is one of the best reasons why I carried the baby. Had Sesshomaru been the one to conceive this child within his womb, he probably would have died within the first part of the pregnancy.

Of course, we had not planned on getting pregnant at all. He was still young and I was getting old. Neither of us were ready to become parents. Although, I can confess that when I found out that Izayoi had also conceived, that complicated things a lot more than they should have been.

That is why I never told Sesshomaru about the baby. He was so young. He did not need to be a father yet, especially without me.

Of course he had his suspicions. The morning sickness, the fatigue, using the restroom excessively, eating more, the weight gain... He, as my son and mate, knew I was a uke. And he definitely knew having a child was a possibility.

My stomach did not bulge much, though. At first, that fact worried me but then I was told it was just a symptom of male pregnancies.

It was hard to figure out some way to protect and ensure my son or daughters safety on such short notice. I received the news from my physician when I was already two moons along. You see, for demon men, a baby only needed four to five new moons in a male before being born. Especially with how strong and healthy this one had grown to be. She was kicking at only one new moon. And yes, I am positive that it is a she. I can feel her aura and it disappoints me to the point of depression that I will not be able to hold her for long, nurse her, meet her, watch her grow up, help her train... No, Sesshomaru would have to help her do all of these things. It left a hallow feeling in my chest at the fact that Sesshomaru would have to find a wet nurse for the little one. Somebody else, most likely human, would be nursing my baby.

I frowned as I felt my demonic energy slip and slither away from me. I was using all of it to keep myself alive just to the point where I could give birth to the babe. That was another thing that disappointed me. I am three thousand years old and this is the first time I was not able to defeat a human and all because this little girl inside of me was feeding off of all my energies. That is how I know she will be strong, she has been draining me of all my demonic power to feed her own.

I rubbed the top of my abdomen as I moaned in pain. Feeling more amniotic fluids seep out of me and onto my hakama. At this rate, I am going to freeze to death before I deliver this girl. I have to conserve whatever heat and energy I have left. Takemaru had already done me the pleasure of cutting off most of my armor and clothes so I just slide off what was left and slid my pelt of thick white fur in front of my legs. I was about to slide off my hakama's, as I felt the fucking huge child perch in between my legs, but another contraction hit me fast. Tearing through my abdomen and curling around my pelvis and thighs, forcing my muscles to contract and push against the baby. Which I had been told my many midwifes was not a good idea. One told me that youkai men and women alike have to wait for the baby to travel to the entrance on his own before you start pushing.

I sighed as the contraction passed, however, the intense pain still remained. I had to hold my penis out of the way as I looked down at my "birth canal. I used the pads of my fingers to lightly poke around the area. I felt the child's head just beneath the skin. _Oh Kami. She's so big... I can't push her out._ I watched as blood, fluids, and a whitest-greenish type mucus started dripping out of my entrance as I felt my muscles start to move the baby forward.

"Oh...!," I moaned, my head falling back against the wood. "Kami... Sesshomaru..." I whispered.

However, I knew he would not be here to comfort me during childbirth. I let a few warm tears slip down my cheeks as I stared at the seemingly tiny hole that had formed beneath my penis but just above my sack. I yearned for the gentle touch of my lover, his comforting hands on my face and neck. His soothing words as I gave birth to our child.

I wouldn't be giving birth to this child naturally as my body commands I should given the situation, but, under the circumstances I would have no time to cut it out of me or aid with the babe. Because surly if I even attempted I would die in seconds.

I growled in agitation and pain as I tried to push inside my stinging entrance and see were the babies head was. I knew she was close, just centimeters away from life. If I could push her out just enough to were I could pull her out of me the rest of the way. Then maybe I could get to hold her for just a few moments before my heart gave out, but I knew there was no time to make compromises for myself.

I looked down and gently pushed.

"Uhhhhn," I moaned. It was a success. _Ha! I knew she was close_.

I saw the top of a babies head at my entrance. However, I could only see the two inches of exposed head. _There is no way I can push her out of me... She's huge._

I knew I would tear a good three or four inches but I knew I was running out of time. I took and deep breath and prepared to push. Looking down at my entrance the entire time, I felt my face heat up with effort as I leaned forward with all my strength and pushed on the next surge of pain. My loud screams were lost to the roaring sound of the pouring rain. I clenched my teeth together as I felt a new stinging burning pain rip through my already numb and raw insides.

_Oh kami... She's coming._

I took a moment to take in a few deep breaths and looked down at the blood that was pooling in between my legs. I looked at my entrance, which had torn a good inch and a half. The top of her head was sticking out of me. I could see her unexposed nose and mouth pressed against my skin from the inside. As I felt another contraction approaching, I bit down on my tongue and pushed. Only wishing that my Sesshomaru was here.

My breath was struggled now, my lungs collapsing or filling with blood, no doubt. I let go of the push as the taste of my own blood brought me back to reality.

I leaned back against the wall, crying in pain and remorse. But I knew there was no time to loose. Her whole head were almost exposed.

"Mmmmn...," I took my breaths in small struggled gasp's as I pushed again and again. Frustrated with how slow the process was going. However, as I looked down, I saw that her whole head had inched it's way out of my body. She was whining and I knew I had to remove her quickly.

I gently reached down and grasped her head and pushed with everything I had left. As I pushed, I also pulled until her shoulders had slipped through my entrance before I could tug her out the rest of the way.

"Uhhhh... Uhn...," I gasped, the fiery stinging sensation intensifying as she slipped from my body.

It was the most wonderful feeling as i looked down in between my leg's and saw my newborn baby girl. But she was not crying like a new born baby should be.

I instantly became worried as I struggled to reach down and pick up my little girls floppy unclean body and lay her on my cooling skin. Her warm amber gold eye's, that she definitely got from her father, looked at me blankly. I rubbed her back and listened to her the sharp but relieving sound of my child's wailing. The, what I assumed, harsh sound didn't hurt my ears as my hearing was already starting to fade.

I took the ribbon that held my silver hair in a high pony-tail up out of my hair and made quick work of tying off her life cord before I grabbed my pelt weakly and removed what I could of the bloody material's that remained on her skin before I wrapped her up safe in my scent. I looked down at her sadly and couldn't help myself as I burst into tears, which isn't something a demon lord should do, at her beautiful face.

"Hi," I said softly, my voice wavering as I gently stroked her scrunched up face with my thumb and forefinger "I'm your daddy..."

I stroked her damp silver hair back from her face as I wiped away my tears. I leaned my head to the side as I coughed up my own blood. Sadness washed through me as I came to the conclusion that I only have minutes to live, when I realized my swollen breasts ached with milk.

I winced as I lifted her head up so that she could reach my nipple. Her crying ceased as I rubbed at her cheek, coaxing her to open her mouth which gained a firm hold and started drinking vigorously. I watched her eye lid's slide closed as she continued to suckle on what my body had to offer her. I stroked her hair and looked off to the darkening horizon, there was definitely more rain to come. I wonder where Sesshomaru is...? If Izayoi got away safely...? If -

My thoughts where interrupted by a sharp bite at my nipple. I looked down quickly enough to see her crying almost resume before I quickly switched her over to the other side and she continued feeding.

It's not as if Izayoi wouldn't have found out, I thought as I stroked my daughters hair absent absentmindedly. I tried to ignore the pain and the light headed feelings that were assaulting my senses as my death became more evident. Alternate scenario's ran through my head as I realized that I didn't want to leave. I wanted to spend more time with my baby. Even if I had killed Takemaru and went with Izayoi and my newly born son, Inuyasha, I would still have to stop our little brigade to give birth. And Sesshomaru would have been with us as well...

It would have been a mess.

I felt my heart start to slow as my body started to drain at an even more significant rate. I sighed as I gently tugged her mouth off of my breast and laid her on the ground, beneath the cover of the partially standing ceiling. I pushed her as far away from me as possible before I felt my muscles tense up and then become like wet noodles. Laying uselessly at my side.

My weight collapsed backward as I heard the dull thump... thump...thump of my dieing heart as I looked down at my daughter. I smiled sadly and stroked one of her tiny feet that had escaped the furry confines of my pelt before my vision began to become splotchy as my heart rate slowed to a stop. My head rolled to my side as my sight completely faded. And the only thing I could think about was my family... My baby... My son... My lover... _Be safe, Sesshomaru. Take the baby and live a happy and long life..._

And then there was peace.

_**_-_-_- Totosai's POV_-_-_**_

My heart sunk as I felt the eternal loss of a good friend. He was gone. I was silent for a few long moments to mourn the loss of the man we had all come to know before I could force my legs to move.

In the pouring rain, I jumped off of my beloved Mo-Mo and made my way towards the loud sounds of a crying infant. I leapt over a few fallen wood banisters that where singed black from the fire that had consumed the whole of the once magnificent palace.

It took me a moment to exactly pinpoint the location of the child and the corpse of the fallen dog general.

Myoga jumped up and down on my shoulder in great agitation, "Check over there, you baka! Quickly, before it freezes to death!"

"I'm looking!," I fired back at him as I slipped and slid on the wet wood. Finally, I managed to find Takemaru's corpse among the ruins and across from them, under what little of the ceiling was left standing, was the corpse of Inu no Taisho and a squirming white fur ball with hands and feet. I gag and held my breath, trying to lean away from the all too present smell of death, blood, and child birth that was wafting throughout the area. I smiled as I walked over to the wailing pile of white fur and lifted it up gently.

"There he is!," Myoga danced excitedly "Wait... it is a he... right?"

We both sat in silence, staring at each other. Stuck in an awkward moment.

"Never mind. We best be going! We have to come back and dispose of the masters body and Soun'ga! Hurry!"

And then we ran, not bothering to think about my old frail bones. I, of course, didn't run too quickly but instead I ran slowly and s

steadily enough as to not scare the child.

And as we mounted my three-eyed cattle the only thing that was left in our minds now was the most obvious of things, however, as it had alluded us this long was a surprise to me. As we traveled through the rain and into dryer country where we would deliver the child to Sesshomaru I couldn't help but think about the future.

The thing we always have but never have the confidence to take advantage of.

_The thing that we can keep for ourselves... or give to somebody else._

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A/N** - Review please! :)**


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