Kingdom Hearts Kingdom Hearts Oneshot Collection

Never Let Teenagers in the Kitchen

_The story is set in Beast's Castle, where Sora and Kairi spend the day making a cake. Things don't exactly end well for a former candelabra. Obviously the story takes place after the spell has been removed. So everyone is once again human. _

"Now Lumiere, are you sure that it's okay for us to use the kitchen?" Kairi asked.

"Of course mademoiselle! The lady Belle and the prince Adam, are visiting the lady's father back in town. They won't be back for another two days, so seeing as there is no need for a huge feast, feel free to use the kitchen."

"Thanks, but Lumiere I thought that it was Mrs. Potts who ran and oversaw the kitchen, not you. So shouldn't we be asking her?" Sora asked.

To this, Lumiere faltered in his walk towards the kitchen. "Ah hah, let me tell you mister keybearer, that as maître d' of the castle, it is I who oversee the waiting staff, and the kitchen." In a lower voice he continued. "Besides Mrs. Potts is out for the week as she enjoys time with her son."

"Ah here we are. The castle kitchen." Lumiere gestured as the two teens suddenly found themselves inside a large and well stocked kitchen. The cabinets and cupboards were all brightly painted green, blue, or red. The gleaming marble floor that ran throughout the castle was present here gleaming nearly as bright as the floor of the main ball room. It was impressive considering how much traffic the room must get.

"Thanks for letting us use the kitchen." Kairi said.

"It was my pleasure. By the way, why do you two need the kitchen anyway?" Lumiere asked, curiosity clear in his voice. To his surprise the two teens seemed to glance at each other sheepishly before blushing and turning away.

"Well it's just that, we needed a place where we can bake a cake, and well, neither of our parents will let us use their kitchens. So we decided to see if one of our friends would let us use their own." Sora explained.

Lumiere gave Sora and Kairi a flat look, clearly not believing them. "Tell me my friends, can either of you even cook?" The former candelabra asked, clearly thinking that they had come here for a different reason.

Sora and Kairi stared at the former candelabra affronted. "Of course I can, my parents have been teaching me." Kairi defended.

"Same here. My mom cooks the best fish on the entire island. Besides when I was traveling with Donald and Goofy, Goofy taught me how to make a wider variety of foods."

"Hmm, so the funny dog with the shield is a cook?" Lumiere asked.

"Apparently he was good enough that he considered going into cooking school instead of the knights." Sora added.

"Well I guess that I can leave the kitchen in your hands, and to think that I thought that you and your girlfriend came here to learn cooking from moi." Lumiere chuckled as he made his way out of the kitchen. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think that I will go try to find Babette." Lumiere said as began to playfully call out the maid's name.

That being said, Sora and Kairi were all alone in the kitchen. "Whew, I thought for a moment that he wouldn't let us use the kitchen." Kairi said.

"Yeah, it's a good thing he didn't ask why we couldn't use our parent's kitchens." Sora added in agreement, his brown spikes bobbing with his head's movement. Kairi smiled in turn.

"Alright then, let's get busy!" Sora exclaimed as he started to sort through the cabinets and the cupboards in search of the cake pans. Kairi giggled as she watched her boyfriend rush around the kitchen opening and closing doors at high speed. While Sora searched for the cake pans Kairi began to pull out the ingredients that they had brought for the cakes.

Kairi set the knapsack that she had carried with her. Opening the pack she pulled out: several sticks of butter, a whole bag of sugar, a carton eggs, vanilla extract, a bag of flour, a tin cocoa, baking soda, salt, baking powder, several mixing bowls, two whisks, her measuring spoons and cups, and her cookbook. With all the ingredients out, the red haired island girl turned her attention back to Sora, who had by now retrieved a large supply of pans. The cake pans were stacked so high up that Kairi had to wonder how Sora was even able to see where he was going. All that was visible of the young keybearer was some of his brown spikes sticking out past the mountain of pans, and well worn black cargo shorts. His new red shirt that she had gotten him last month was well hidden by the mountain of iron in his arms. The design was pretty simple, it was a solid deep red shirt that had both Sora's crown emblazoned on the front of his shirt in white, as well as white feathers decorating the back of the shirt.

"I can't believe how many pans these guys have. I'm sure that there are enough pans in this kitchen to give one to everybody back home." Sora joked.

Kairi simply rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's humor. Although she had to wonder what a feast in the castle would be like, with as much cake pans that Sora was carrying, she felt that the castle could easily feed a small army with its stores.

"So, which pans do you think that we should use?" Sora asked.

Glancing at the mountain of pans still in her boyfriend's arms Kairi quickly judged the iron pans and removed two, leaving Sora with a _slightly_ smaller mountain of iron in his arms. "Alright I got the pans, now be sure to put everything back where you got it." Kairi said as she turned to place the pans down by the ingredients.

Meanwhile Sora was frozen as he realized that he had to put back every single pan where it belonged. This was a lot easier said than done. When one is holding about nearly fifty pounds of iron cooking pans, it is not the simplest thing in the world to see where one is going, much less organizing and replacing the pans. In the end Sora decided that the best course of action was to set the pans down on the counter and replace them while he was waiting for the cakes to finish baking.

While Sora struggled to successfully place the pans on the kitchen's counter without causing a loud crash to reverberate throughout the castle. Kairi had begun the process of making the cakes.

First, moving towards one of the many ovens that lined the large kitchen Kairi started to preheat the oven, allowing it to heat up to the necessary baking temperature. Moving away from the old style oven Kairi returned to her supplies. As she turned towards her mixing bowls she found Sora standing right in front of her, with an irritated expression on his face.

"Kairi, why did you leave me with the pans, I could have used some help!"

"Well it wouldn't have been an issue if you didn't decide to bring out the entirety of the kitchen's pans out. Besides, you didn't even put the pans up." Kairi replied as she turned back to her supplies.

Sora waved the question away as he made his way towards the counter where he started to mix one half of the batter mix. "I figure that we could put them up once we put the cakes in the oven."

Kairi sighed but nonetheless moved towards the mixing bowls alongside Sora. While Kairi mixed her two bowls, she _ever so subtly_ allowed some of the egg that she added to fly out of the bowl and land on Sora's left arm. Sora turned to his red haired girlfriend with a grin across his face that was met with an innocent expression from Kairi.

Chuckling to himself Sora took a look a Kairi's outfit. Kairi, like Sora, had decided to go for a casual look. She wore a purple shin length skirt with silver shell like designs, as well as a simple light blue top with her lucky charm emblem emblazoned on her right sleeve. As much as Sora liked her outfit, apparently it was time to get started on the best part of cooking with Kairi.

As Sora added the flour into his bowl he made sure to fling it into the bowl with more force that necessary, causing it to poof outward, and into Kairi's hair. Ever so casually Sora continued mixing his ingredients while Kairi turned to face Sora, brushing the flour out of her hair as she fixed Sora with a challenging loving look.

When Kairi turned back to her bowls to start to whisk the ingredients, Sora flicked a bit of flour on her shirt before he too started to whisk the ingredients in his bowls. Shaking her head Kairi simply removed her whisk from the bowl an flicked it casually at Sora, causing a wide spay of partial batter to land all over Sora's left side.

Chuckling as the game progressed, Sora began to whisk his ingredients faster and faster purposefully causing some to fly out and splatter against Kairi's face.

Shaking her head with silent laughter Kairi finished her bowl and motioned for Sora to pour his bowls into hers. As Sora poured the mixtures together Kairi reached up smashed an egg ontop of his head, with the egg goo seeping into his hair and giving his dark spiky locks a greasy look. In response Sora shook his head vigorously, causing bits of egg goo and shell to fly out and land not only on Kairi, but also onto the cabinets and the floor of the kitchen.

"Sora, how 'bout we hold off the eggs until the cakes are in the oven." Kairi suggested. As she took one of the combined bowls and started to whisk the ingredients into the final cake batter.

"Alright, but remember that it was you who started with the eggs." Sora replied.

With that Sora started to whisk the batter for the second cake. As Kairi finished whisking the batter for her cake she poured the batter form her bowl into a cake pan. As Sora poured his batter into his cake pan Kairi ran her finger around the inside of the bowl loading it up with batter.

As Sora looked up from pouring his batter he was met with Kairi's cake batter coated finger in front of his face. Glancing at Kairi's face he saw her eyes lit with laughter and mischief. Leaning forward he poised to lick the batter off her finger, only to be surprised as the finger moved and left a line of batter across his eyebrows. Sora simply stared as Kairi giggled and made her way towards the oven with the cake pans.

With the cakes baking and the time set on her watch, Kairi quickly made her way to the last bowl where she began to mix the ingredients for the icing. As Kairi finished making the icing, Sora finally overcame his shock. "Game on." He whispered.

As Kairi added the last of the ingredients she looked up and got a face full of flour. "Sora!" Kairi shouted, her grin erasing any admonishment that might have been conveyed. With a grin on her face Kairi casually reached for the carton of eggs and then with a move that would have impressed any gunslinger, she lobbed the egg at her boyfriend, nailing him straight on the forehead. Causing the egg goo to slide down his face and begin to reach the neckline of his shirt. Yet despite the egg sliding down his face, his grin never left his face. Reaching for the flour bag Sora brought out another handful of flour.

Kairi's grin matched Sora's as she grabbed another egg and the bag of sugar. On some unknown signal the two teens began their food war. Sora rushed forward and made a throw, the flour exploding in the air and covering Kairi's blue top in the white powder. Kairi in response simply lobbed the egg at Sora, hitting his right shoulder blade.

From there, the messy flirting continued and progressed in scale. Many casualties beyond the two love struck teens and their clothes were claimed in the ensuing 'food fight.' Within five minutes the cabinets and counters of the kitchen were covered in a not so fine layer of flour and sugar. In the first few minutes they had made use of the pans that Sora had left lying on the counter as shields. Despite their shields there were several sticky spots that littered the kitchen, some on the ceiling, the floor, a few on Sora, yet none on Kairi as she was careful to let Sora anywhere near the eggs, seeing as last time she never had a chance.

In the thirty plus minutes that it took for the cake to finish baking, Sora and Kairi looked as they had emerged from a mud pit, made of flour, sugar, and eggs. In the end the messy flirting was only brought to an end when Kairi's watch beeped letting the teens know that the cakes were finished baking. Glancing at each other they nodded calling a truce to the food 'fight'.

Grabbing some oven mitts they opened the oven and took out the cakes. The rich chocolate cakes let off a delicious aroma, now that they were released from the oven. Moving the cakes to the flour covered counter the two messy teens decided to let the cakes cool down they decided that it would be best to put away the pans, despite the fact that they were covered in both flour and egg goo.

After they spent a few minutes putting up the pans and flinging leftover egg at each other they made their way towards the cakes to start icing them. The next few minutes were spent not only decorating the cakes with the icing, but each other as well.

With the cakes finished the couple looked around and noticed the mess that they had made. "Sora, are you sure that the extra cake will be enough recompense for the mess we caused?"

Sora reached up and scratched his flour and egg coated hair sheepishly. "Well, I'm not entirely sure. But … we do make the best cakes on the island. So I'm sure that they will enjoy it at least." Reaching down Sora gathered some of the icing on his finger and turned his attention back to Kairi. "Hey Kairi?"

"Yeah Sora?" As soon as the red headed girl turned around she was met by Sora running yet another fingerful of icing across her nose.

"Sora! You're going to get it mister!" Kairi challenged as she readied to begin the game once again.

"Sora, Kairi!" A voice called jolting the couple out of their playful mood, as they realized who was calling.

"It's Lumiere!" Sora hissed as he and Kairi quickly grabbed their cake and exited the kitchen, leaving behind the other cake as both payment and apology for the mess.

"I'm sorry for bothering you mon amis. But I decided that it would be irresponsible of me to not give you help with your cake. After all I am the best host in the world. And it would shame me to no end to not help you." Lumiere said as he entered the once clean kitchen to find no one and nothing there except for a huge mess and one delicious looking and smelling chocolate cake.

Unfortunately not even a homemade cake could ease the maître d's horror and dread. "Sora! Kairi! Get back here, if Mrs. Potts comes back and sees this mess then I am finished!" Lumiere shouted as he chased after the teens, who were easy to track due to the powder footprints that they left behind.

"Kairi, I don't think that the cake was enough."

"Obviously. Now hurry and open a door and get us out of here!"

Sora nodded and handed the cake to Kairi as they continued to run down one of the castle's many halls. Raising his hand Sora concentrated and fifteen feet ahead of him, a door made of pure light opened out of nowhere, allowing the two teens to escape the wrath of the furious maître d'. With the teens through the door of light closed and vanished leaving no evidence as to where or how the teens escaped.

Turning the corner Lumiere found himself at the end of the trail, with the culprits nowhere in sight. "NO!"

"What's with all the shouting Lumiere?" A new voice asked.

Lumiere's face went as pale as the flour that covered both the kitchen and the carpets of the castle. Turning around slowly Lumiere found himself face to face with Mrs. Potts and her son.

The sound heard from the former candelabra was reminiscent of a frightened girl as he fled in terror.

-With Sora and Kairi-

The Door of Light opened up on Destiny Islands, specifically the play island, near the waterfall. Stepping out of the door was Sora and Kairi, surprisingly clean from there flirting in the kitchen. With the cake safe in their Kairi's arms the two made their way towards the pool at the waterfall's base.

Sitting there, with the two relaxed for a moment before glancing at each other, causing them to double over with laughter as they realized the mess they left back at Prince Adam's castle.

After calming down Sora brought out some plates and silverware that he had stashed nearby for the occasion. Handing the knife to Kairi to cut the cake with, Sora grasped the plates and forks ready to taste his and Kairi's cake.

Kairi carefully cut two large slices of cake for the two of them to eat, before placing each slice on one of the plates. In silence the couple ate their chocolate cake and savored the rich flavor.

As the sun went down on Destiny Islands, one could just make out two figures on the play island near the waterfall, sharing a loving kiss as the light of the sunset lit the island up in brilliant shades of gold.


End file.
