1. If I Die Tomorrow

A/N(original): So I really want to right a Densi story but It's been so long since I wrote a true emotionally based story I figured I would switch up from what most authors do (from what I've read so far) and have something happen to Kensi instead of Deeks since it will be easier for me to write reactions for him instead of her. Lots of drama and emotional scenes in this one and I think I have a pretty decent story line in mind for what will happen.

Additional A/N: Oh my god! I read this after I posted it and the grammatical errors almost made me flip! I thought I had caught everything but the names of the characters caused so man little red lines on my screen I refused to do spell check, lesson learned. This isn't a re-write just a re-edit lol

Deeks stood there in the middle of the bullpen as he tried to control his emotions. His entire body felt numb as he felt the blood drain from his face at the news Hetty had sorrowfully delivered to the three male Agents of the OSP.

Kensi was in a coma.

They all knew that there were certain risks involved with their chosen careers. Some of those dangers had come far too close for any of them to talk comfortably about. But, this time it was completely senseless and random. The words Hetty had just spoken to them replayed over and over in his head like an old vinyl record with a bent needle

Kensi had been involved in a hit and run.

A car had hit Kensi.

Kensi had been run over by a car.

Kensi had been hit by a car.

No matter what he tried to stop it the words kept repeating themselves, with some subtle variation and it was slowly driving Deeks mad. He looked around the bullpen and was only vaguely aware of the looks on Sam and Callen's face as his movements became jerky and unsure. He wanted to scream, cry, beg god that this was a joke, anything to not feel completely helpless. Suddenly his emotions took over and without thought or reason he suddenly flipped over the table he and Kensi shared and with a roar of defiance and sorrow flipped it over with surprise ease before crashing to his knees in defeat as the tears he had been holding back finally began to run down his face.

Under any other situation Hetty would have been appalled at the reaction of Deeks but she had known that what had always been an underlying issue of attraction between Kensi and Deeks had turned into something more. While she was sure that the two of them were not romantically involved she knew that they were more than partners but not yet lovers.

"Mr. Deeks while I understand your frustration at the situation I would greatly appreciate it if you refrained from taking it out on the furniture."

Deeks weak head nod was the only response Hetty received before she continued. "Mr. Callen, I believe that give the lack of active cases and the current situation you and Mr. Hanna should accompany Detective Deeks to UCLA Medical Center where Miss Blye is under the Rose Bukater." With that the legendary OSP manager mad her way to Ops to inform Nell and Eric of this morning's events.

"G, go get the car I got this." Sam said with a slight tremble in his voice as he looked at Deeks who was staring at the floor as a small collection of his tears were beginning to form a puddle. Callen only numbly nodded as he made his way to check out grab a subtle sedan from the carpool.

"Deeks….Deeks come on man." Sam softly called to the man who has risked everything to protect his wife.

"It's my fault Sam." Deeks croaked out as he finally turned to look at the former Navy SEAL. "She wanted to meet up and run this morning and….I made another stupid ass comment and she took it back and now…now…" Deeks couldn't bear to say anymore

"It's not your fault Deeks it was an accident." Sam said as he put a comforting hand on Deeks shoulder and squeezed it. "If you wanna do something for her the only thing you can do is go be there for her now." The distraught LAPD Detective only nodded as he let Sam help him to his feet and guided them to the front of the building where Callen was waiting on a black Suburban.

The ride to the hospital was a relatively short one but as the three men were lost in their own thoughts and fears making a 10 minute drive feel as if it had taken an hour. As they made their way to the ICU Deeks became frantic and wasn't sure if he could handle what waited for him but he owed it to Kensi to be there for her. A Doctor was leading the trio towards her room as he explained the extent of her injuries, Deeks knew he should be listening but he was so lost in his own thought he didn't hear a word they said.

As soon as he saw Kensi he wished to god he had been listening to the doctor. Where his bad ass ninja assassin partner should have been was a frail and battered woman. The whole left side of her head was shaved and bandaged, her left thigh had a traction bar around it, her whole right arm was in a cast. Her face was extremely swollen and bruised in unnatural black. But what made it worse, if that was even possible, was the breathing tube running from a machine and into her mouth. Turning around as fast as he could Deeks felt his heard stop beating and fall somewhere around his knees as he began to slightly hyperventilate. Deeks blood shot eyes darted all over the place as he tried to keep himself from breaking down again, when suddenly they rested on a LAPD Officer and suddenly he became very calm and collected.

"There's something I need to do." He said as he walked away from the confused and horrified pair of federal agents.

It was only a short time later that a taxi dropped Deeks at the old mission used by the OSP and he calmly made his way inside and up to OPS. "Eric do we have any footage of what happened to Kensi?"

"Yeah…but I."

"Then pull it up." The tone Deeks used was not something any of them had ever heard him use before. Usually Deeks tone was jovial and polite. This Deeks was emotionlessly cold and for the first time in the almost seven years he had worked with Shaggy look-a-like Eric was actually afraid of the man and did as he was ordered.

Deeks stood their unflinching as he watch his partner was brutally run down by a late 90's grey Honda Civic. "Freeze it." Deeks ordered as he Saw Kensi's head come into contact with the asphault before the rest of her body. "Zoom in on the license plate."

"Deeks I'm not sure if that's a good idea." Nell spoke up timidly from her desk next to Eric. She had not been prepared for the hard glare he sent her.

"Zoom in on the license plate."

"Deeks think about this a sec…." Eric's plea with his friend and sometimes surfing buddy was cut off.

"NOW GOD DAMN IT!" He roared causing the 'wonder twins' to flinch and ever so slightly roll their chairs away from him.

"I think that is quite enough from you Mr. Deeks." The hard edged tone from Hetty interrupted the scene as she stood in the door way to OPS. When Deeks to look at her his face was not apologetic, in fact the cold edge he had taken on seemed to intensify and Hetty couldn't stop herself from taking an involuntary step back at the sight of the dark transformation that had taken the place of the carefree LAPD Liaison officer she had come to know. Deeks turn his unforgiving gaze back to the screen one last time before storming out of the room.

"Miss Jones, you and Mr. Beale should find out what you can about that car before we have two of our people in a dire situation." Hetty said as she walked out of OPS and found Deeks to be nowhere in sight. With a heavy sigh Hetty pulled out her cellphone and dialed a number she could call in her sleep.

"Mr. Callen I need you and Mr. Hanna to come back to Ops. We have a situation on our hands…..Mr. Deeks was just here and is the reason for this call." With that Hetty hung up and slowly made her way back to her desk.

"What is it G?" Same asked as he saw the look on Callen's face and wasn't sure what was going on.

"We need to find Deeks." Callen said he forced himself to push his concern for Kensi aside and focus on the matter at hand as he walked away from the hospital and towards the SUV.

"What the hell is going on G?" Sam demanded as he spun his partner around.

"Deeks is out for blood over this and….and we have to stop him." Callen said as a look of shock consumed Sam's face.

A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Some of the reaction were probably out of character but in my head I have this story set around what would be somewhere between seasons 6 and 7 so things would be a little different in terms of character interaction and what have you. I promise the next chapter will be longer. If you liked this story or think it has potential please leave a review and let me know what you think.


	2. Razor's Edge

A/N: here's another chapter for your reading pleasure

Deeks was breathing heavily sweat slowly trickling down his cheek before becoming lost in his now untrimmed and scruffy looking beard, his eyes set with cold hard determination as he looked down the sides of the Colt 1911 he had taken off a gang banger he had beaten for information at a chop shop two days ago. He knew that Sam and Callen had their sidearms trained on him, and he didn't blame them. The past four days Deeks had not just broken every rule in the book, no he had burned the book and then pissed on its ashes. The only reason the two senior field agents of the OSP Team hadn't come at his like a suspect we because he hadn't killed anyone yet, and because they both knew what it do to Kensi if…no when she woke up

"Deeks you don't wanna do this." Callen's calm and pleading voice called from his right.

"You sure about that Callen? This piece of shit ran over Kensi because he was in a hurry to get his next fix." Deeks turned his unforgiving glare towards Callen keeping the pistol in his hands pointed at the forehead of one Miguel Contreras, a career criminal and habitual heroin user, who was sweating profusely and knew he was in a life and death situation.

"Come on man! I said I'm sorry I… didn't see her. Look…I'll….I'll turn myself in ok? You put the gun down and I'll go with these cops. I won't even mention this to anyone. I swear."

Deeks slowly turned his face back to Miguel and his cold hard expression slowly changed into pure unyielding hatred. Deeks used his thumb to pull back the hammer of the gun and slowly growled out his words. "Shut the fuck up."

Sam reacted and did what Deeks had done for him two years ago, risked his life to him. "Deeks…..Deeks look at me." Sam's voice was very calm and controlled. When he had Deeks attention Sam made a very showy display of putting his gun on the ground and slowly moved behind Miguel and leaned against the wall, effectively putting himself in harm's way if Deeks pulled the trigger.

"Sam?" Callen cautiously called from his position getting extremely nervous at the situation now. If Deeks pulled the trigger there was no doubt in the experienced agents mind that the bullet would rip through the quivering 150 pound frame of Miguel and hit Sam.

"It's ok G. I'm just repaying a debt." Sam's voice was light hearted and conveyed the absolute trust he had in Deeks.

"What are you talking about Sam?" Marty hissed out his finger twitching on the trigger before he changed the angle he was facing the man who had put the woman he loved in a coma, unsurprisingly G and Sam moved in tandem with him. Callen moved to keep Deeks in his sights and to cover Sam, while the large former Navy SEAL moved to keep Miguel slightly between himself and Deeks but maintained eye contact.

"Damn it Sam get outta the way." Deeks said in a half angry half pleading tone.

"I can't do that Deeks."

"Oh yeah, what if it had been Michelle in that hospital instead of Kensi huh? What if her life was the one in jeopardy? What then tough guy?"

Sam closed his eyes for a couple seconds to control himself. He knew Deeks was trying to bait him, trying to make Sam move so he could kill the low life that stood between them. When he opened them to look at Deeks his eyes were full of nothing but understanding and compassion.

"It was her Deeks. The day you saved my life and risked your own by not talking."

"That…that was different."

"No it's not Deeks."

"Yes it is Sam."

"Really? You see anyone with a drill around here?" Sam knew it was a risky and somewhat stupid thing to say but he knew it was how Deeks dealt with uncomfortable situations, deflection by humor. And it had worked as an ever so slight smile tugged at the right corner of Deeks lips. "Deeks just hear me out please? You risked your life to save Michelle's, to protect her and that's what I'm doing now."

Callen stood completely still not daring to speak or move out of fear that he would undo the little progress that Sam was making. But he could see the wavering look in Deeks eyes.

Sam slowly pulled his hands out of his pockets as he was now pleading his the man who he had the utmost respect and trust in. "Deeks you haven't done anything you can't come back from but this…this isn't you man. When Kensi wakes up…."

"You mean if she wakes up." Deeks voice was soft and his eyes were slightly starting to gather water in them.

"No. I mean when because she will. When she thinks up do you honestly think she will be glad you did this for her? That she'll be proud of you for this?"Sam had slowly been moving to stand between Deeks and Miguel even though he really wants to let Deeks shoot the bastard, or do it himself. As he kept talking and got closer Sam could see that he younger blonde haired man was fighting to hold back his tears. "What would Kensi say if she saw this? She would do exactly what I'm doing now." Same was now completely between Deeks and Miguel.

"Deeks if you do this your just another thug with a gun, and that's not you."

Sam's words sparked a memory deep in Deeks mind of a conversation between himself and Kensi and he couldn't stop the small sad gasp that escaped his lips and he let his gun arm fall to his side. Suddenly the Colt in his hand felt as if it weighed 90 pounds and it slowly slide from his grasp to clatter loudly on the dirty pavement of the alley they were in. Callen tucked his gun in the back of his jeans waistline and slowly retrieved the Colt and eased the hammer forward.

"Wow. That was intense I..."

Whatever Miguel was about to say was cut off when Sam's large fist collided solidly with the criminal's jaw just under his left ear, knocking him out cold.

Back in Ops Hetty, Eric and Nell had been watching on a security cam he had hacked into and when the situation resolved itself Nell and Eric let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding.

"I believe our work here is done Mr. Beale." Hetty said suddenly feel her age. With that Hetty walked out knowing that Sam and Callen had the situation under control, now it was up to her to do what she prided herself on above all, protecting her agents.

"Everything aside you have to admit how impressive it was."

"I don't think Deeks really wanted to kill him Eric."

"I…I wasn't talking about Sam. Deeks managed to track Miguel down on his own with nothing more than a license plate number in four days." Eric said as he cut the feed and leaned back into his chair feeling exhausted. "Nell he did what we did almost as fast with none of the tech and support."

Nell looked at Eric and she suddenly realized that with nothing more than a look at the car from the video and a California license plate Marty Deeks had managed to find one man in a city of 4 million people, and for the second time in a week she was scared of Deeks, but this time it was in a good way.

"You good?" Callen asked Sam, and to some degree Deeks, as he finished cuffing Miguel's hands behind hands back and began to pat him down

Sam only nodded his head and placed comforting hand on Deeks shaking shoulder. "Sam…Can you….."

"Yeah I'll give you a ride to the hospital." Sam said with a soft smile.

"No….Can you give Hetty my badge?" Deeks softly asked as he dug the mentioned LAPD Detectives shield from his pocket and held it for Sam.

"Deeks.."

"Please?" Deeks voice was that of a man who was broken, full of hurt and uncertainty. After a few seconds of shock Sam didn't know what to do and he numbly accepted the offered badge and watched as Deeks walked out of the alley and soon disappeared into the midday pedestrian traffic of Venice Beach.

It had been three days since Deeks had simply walked away from not only NCIS, but the LAPD as well. As Sam dropped Callen off at his place they both noticed a rather mangy and dejected looking grey dog tied to a tree in front of Callen's house.

"Hey isn't that Monty?" Same asked as he nodded towards the dog.

"I think it is." Callen said as he looked at Sam before they both walked towards the dog who began to wag his tail excitedly at them.

"What the hell? Deeks loves that dog….Why would he leave him here?" Same asked confused as he started looking around trying to find Deeks.

"Sam, look." Callen said as he held up a hand written note that had been taped to the door.

'Callen,

Take care of Monty for me.

-Deeks'

"This is bad G." Sam said as he crouched down to scratch Monty behind the ears.

Callen only nodded solemnly as pulled out his phone and called Eric's cell. "Eric are you still at Ops…..ok good. I need you to review all cameras that cover my place…..No I'm fine. I…..Eric I found Monty tied to a tree in front of my place and a note from Deeks telling me to take care of him…..Ok thank Sam and I are headed to Deeks place."

Sam untied Monty from the tree and led him and Callen back towards the Challenger and let Monty climb into the back seat where the dog promptly fell asleep. It was about 45 minutes to the Apartment building that Deeks had moved to and Sam and Callen began to scan the surrounding area for either Deeks or his car. When neither of them spotted what they were looking for they made their way to Deeks Apartment and when the found the door open both men shared a concerned look and drew their service pistols before they entered the room. What they found had both of them completely shocked. Deeks apartment was completely empty. The two men quickly searched the apartment and found that absolutely nothing had been left behind.

"He's gone." Callen said his voice completely full of shock as he tried to understand how this happened

Callen phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket. "Eric?"

"Callen, I scanned all the video footage and around 3:30 a blonde haired woman left Monty and put the note on your door."

Callen looked at Sam and at that moment he knew Deeks was gone, maybe even for good. "Eric do you know who the woman is?"

"Erica Ganger, 26 married with two kids. And before you ask she has no connection I can find with Deeks other than a phone call to him after she dropped Monty at your place." Eric said as he cast a sideways look at Hetty who was standing beside him.

"Eric can you trace Deeks phone?"

"Unfortunetly Mr. Beale has been unable to locate Detective Deeks phone." Hetty spoke up as she watched the foot of Monty being dropped off at Callen's home. "I've also called Miss Jones into help locate Mr. Deeks but I have a suspicion we will not be able to locate him."

"Two weeks G, It's been two weeks and we haven't gotten any closer to finding Deeks and Kensi is still the hospital." Sam said frustrated as he was pacing in the middle of the bullpen. It was incredibly uncommon to see Sam this agitated and even Callen was starting to get worried.

"At least Kensi is breathing on her own now so that's…"

"So that's what?" Sam asked testily as he continued to pace a few more seconds before stopping to look at his longtime partner who had the look of stunned revelation painted across his face.

"Sam we've been going about this the wrong way. Deeks has worked with us for the past seven years, combine that with his undercover work for the LAPD and he knows how to vanish if he wants to. You see what I'm sayin?"

"So what we're just supposed to stop looking for him and hope we get lucky."

"That's exactly what I'm saying." Callen said with a smile as he stood up and quickly jogged up the stairs towards Ops and continued his brisk pace into the technological nerve center of the OSP.

"Eric we still have Kensi's room under survallince right?"

"Uh…yeah why?"

Callen stood in front of the large screen they used for mission briefings and put his hands on his hips. "Pull up all the footage starting from the night Deeks left." Called stood their calmly and was mentally kicked himself for not thinking of this earlier

"What are you thinking G?"

"Yes please do enlighten us Mr. Callen."

"We've been going about this all wrong." Callen noticed the confused looks on everyone's face and he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. "Deeks went off the reservation because of what happened to Kensi. So…." He trailed off letting everyone realize where this was going.

"So that means this is all about Deeks and Kensi?" Eric spoke up unsure of his answer and looked around at everyone.

"Or more specifically Kensi." Sam said realizing where Callen was going with this as he watched the screen. Crossing his arms over his chest he moved to stand beside Callen

As they five remaining members of the team watched the video they spotted a man stand outside Kensi's room at 2:30AM. They wanted to think it was Deeks but the tell-tale mop of hair was missing. Instead there was a medium length almost professional looking hair cut that was parted in the middle with a medium fade.

"Mr. Beale see if you can find any other footage of this man." Hetty stepped forward as she tried to study the man built and characteristics, with little success as he was keeping his back to the camera and his head down.

"Got it." Eric said as he typed a few keys and a different camera showed the man leaving through the hospital lobby.

"Freeze it." Callen calmly said as he looked at the grainy footage. He tried to study the man's face but the picture quality was shoddy at best. All he could discern was that the man was clean shaven and had a light brown hair color.

"Eric is there any more footage of De….this guy?" Sam was forcing him to stay calm because if this wasn't Deeks then they had an entirely different situation on their hands, but he wanted to believe that this was Deeks and not a potential threat to Kensi.

The sound a keyboards being out to good use as both Nell and Eric began to work their magic. Every night like clockwork this man showed up outside Kensi's room at 2:30 AM. "Nell can you pull up the image of last Sunday?"

Callen asked as he looked over his shoulder at her. Nell nodded with a renewed since of hope that they would find Deeks. "Pulling it up…now."

"Same thing again…Look at his body language G. It's like he wants to go in there but he can't" Sam said as he used his right hand to point at the way this man was standing.

"Yeah..Nell back up the footage to 1:45 AM" Callen said as he thought back to the night that Kensi had been taken off the respirator and he felt Sam's questioning gaze at the back of his head. "I couldn't sleep that night and I figured I would sneak in and check on her." He said simply

As they watched footage of Callen walking out the lobby they spotted the man sneak along the wall keeping an eye on Callen. This of course kept him out of the shadows and his face was light by the patient drop off sign. Eric wasted no time in zooming in and running the face against Marty's profile in the NCIS Databanks.

A couple seconds later and the program made a positive match confirming what they all believed. Deeks had been the man checking up on Kensi.

"I'm a genius." Callen said smugly as he spread his arms out wide and walked backwards before turning to walk out of Ops.

Two nights later Callen and Sam were sitting in the Charger outside the Hospital where Kensi was now still in the ICU but was listed as stable. It was just before two in the morning when Sam looked at his partner who was sucking on a tootsie pop like he didn't have a car in the world.

"So hwo you wanna play this G?"

"We're not."

"So what we just sit here and watch him come and go everynight until when?" Sam said defensively not understanding what Callen was up to and slightly annoyed at the lack of a plan.

"We." Callen moved his finger back and forth between them. "Aren't going to sit here. You are going to sit here and I'm going to talk to him."

"And say what exactly? Nice hair cut." Sam said sarcastically

"Yeah that works."

"I hate you."

"But you can't live without me." Callen's smirk was evident in his voice. "There he is, wait here."

"Like hell." Sam said as he made to grab the door handle of the car.

"I mean it Sam. You and Deeks have a past. He'll expect you to talk him into coming back and that will put him on the defensive."

Sam glared at G but in the end he knew he was right. "Fine."

Callen was casually propped up against the wall next to the door that Deeks always walked out of when the former Detective and NCIS Liaison was into his peripheral vision.

"Want a tootsie pop?" He asked casually and in an off handed manner and he kept himself from grinning as Deeks stopped walked and became as stiff as a board.

"What do you want Callen?"

"Nothing." He said as he bit down on his preferred sweet.

"Uh huh. So you expect me to believe that you're not going to try and subtly talk me into coming back to work?" Deeks said flatly as he turned to face Callen for the first time in two and a half weeks. "If that doesn't work then what? Sam pops outta the bushes and tries the same conversation?"

"Well that was his plan, minus the popping out of bushes part." Callen says with a grin. "But I made him wait in the car."

Deeks didn't rise to the bait and kept his features schooled. "Trouble in paradise?"

"No, he's just too close to this and feels he owes it to himself to bring you back."

"And you don't want me back? Not that I blame you since I almost offed a guy over this."

"No I want you back, but only if you come back on your own." Callen said as he walked forward and put his lollipop stick in the trash can. "We both know that if I bring you back kicking and screaming you'll just resent me and the job and leave again, for good."

"Kicking and screaming, really?" Deeks said unable to stop himself

"What can I say? I'm in a good mood tonight." Callen said as he pulled out another tootsie pop from his pocket. "Sure you don't want one?" He asked politely as he held out his last piece of candy to Deeks.

"So what's your angle Callen?" Deeks said wanting nothing more than to get out of there before anyone else showed up.

"No angle." Callen said as he popped the once offered treat into his mouth and put his hands back in his pockets. "I just wanted to see how you're doing." Callen said, which was the complete truth.

"I'm fine."

Callen took a second or two before he simply nodded his head. "Ok. Well it's good to see that you're taking care of yourself." Callen said as he walked towards Deeks and was about to give him a friendly pat on the should when Callen noticed the way Deeks suddenly tensed up so he continued to the motion and scratched the back of his head and walked past Deeks and towards the parked Charge.

"Oh, one last thing."

"What's that?" Deeks said as he turned to face Callen's retreating form.

"Sam said he like your haircut." Callen called light heartedly as he walked to where Sam was still parked.


	3. Faith No More

A/N: this chapter came to be and I had to grab the idea and run with it. It was unplanned and honestly think that made it so much better than what I originally had planned. I know that Deeks is really OOC But I am really trying to convey what this storyline is doing to him. And I've seen firsthand how things like PTSD and Survivors Guilt can really fuck with a person's mind from my time in the Marines. BUT fear not the dark and twisted stuff isn't going to last to much longer…. I think.

If any of you actually read these little author notes you should get on youtube and check out a video called Kensi and Deeks (NCIS LA) - When I find you, I'll find me I'll post the url at the bottom of this story.

I should warn you upfront that if you are a person that can really get into what they are reading or a HUGE Deeks and Kensi fan you should stop and go grab so tissues right now.

**ALSO!**** (and this is the important part) this is most definitely a mature rated chapter. Not for violence and physical/sexual content for the strong language and mental disorder themes involved.**

Inside the UCLA Medical Center the slow and steady beeping of a EKG was the only sound that emanated from Kensi Blye's room. She was starting to show the signs of being in a coma for an extended period of time as he lightly tanned skin was now turning pale and she had lost more than a few unnecessary pounds. It has been exactly one month since she had been hit by a drug addict in need of a fix. Her body had healed fairly quickly, but Deeks knew this was because her body was completely at rest and probably was going to be for a long time.

He hated this feeling of complete helplessness as he stood next to her bed. It was only a couple days ago that he had even been able to step foot inside her room and to date this was the closest he had been to her since….well since he had done what he did best, piss her off.

'_Hey Deeks.' Kensi had lightly called to him as they walked towards their cars parked behind the OSP's HQ._

"_Whats up Fern?"_

"_Tomorrow morning is supposed to be really nice. Wanna go for a run with me tomorrow? You can bring Monty." She said as he smiled at him._

"_Gonna use my dog as a wing man are yah?" He teased and couldn't help but notice the look that flashed in her eyes for a second and he thought he had imagined it and he kept up his usually sexist joking. "Or do you wanna tease me by wearing those tight running pants and a sports bra, because you know I like that." He said almost lecherously and wiggled his eyebrows at her._

"_Why do you always do that?"_

"_Do what?" Deeks said grinning as he answered her question with one of his own as she seemed to be fond of doing to him._

"_This." Kensi said as she set her jaw in a determined manner, but Deeks chose to keep pushing her buttons thinking he would let her stew for a couple days then show up with twinkies or her favorite donuts._

"_And what exactly is it that 'this' is sunshine?"_

"_You know what forget it Deeks I try to be nice but you just want to be an ass so I'll go run by myself." She said as she jerked her car door open and quickly climbed into and left in a faster than normal manner_

Deeks couldn't stop the tears that started running down his face and he unconsciously reach out to put a hand on top of her head. When his hand was halfway to his intended target he stopped and his hand balled into a fist and returned to his side

"Who the hell am I trying to kid? It's been a month and your still in la-la land while the rest of us have to try to move on with our lives." Deeks said bitterly to himself before he turned around to leave. He was coming around the corner that would lead him to the elevator when spotted Callen standing there waiting for him.

"Callen." Deeks said flatly. Only to receive and simple head nod. "Not going to try the free candy approach this time?" Deeks almost taunted him as he pressed the elevators call button.

"No I just wanted you to know that tomorrow they are going to try and bring her out of the coma." The legendary NCIS Undercover Agent said as he moved to put some space between the two of them.

"How?"

"Not sure on the technical part but it involves some new treatment that has had a lot of success with coma patients in New York City."

"How much is 'a lot'?" Deeks as his back to Callen and forcing the small glimmer of hope back into the darkness he kept himself in.

"Sixteen outta twenty."

Deeks had to push that glimmer back down again as he said nothing but stood there waiting for the elevator. When it finally arrives Deeks stepped in and turned to face Callen as he pressed the button that would deliver him to the lobby. As the door went to shut Callen reached out and stopped the doors from closing, earning him and irritated glare from Deeks.

"If it doesn't work they are going to transfer her to a long term care facility….if you want I can get that information to you." A very long and uncomfortable silence hung between the two former co-workers and for the first time Callen thought he was going to be attacked when he saw the muscles flew and tighten in Deeks jaw.

"Do what you want Callen, you always do." With that Callen let the elevator close and he was afraid that Deeks was truly gone.

Unknown to everyone else Callen had been checking up on Deeks and found that the man was working as a bouncer at one of LA's rougher clubs, the same club where one of the bouncers had been fatal stabbed months before. At first Callen thought that Deeks had thrown himself into an undercover Op to get away from the reality of the situation. But after watching Deeks, or rather what Deeks was turning into, beat the hell out of a man that had slapped a woman who looked a lot like Kensi Callen quickly realized that Deeks was on his way to crossing the line between someone who upheld the law and someone who runs from the law. Callen knew that if Kensi didn't wake up soon Deeks would be gone forever and he might have to hunt the man down, a thought that made his blood run cold and his stomach turn.

As Deeks stepped out of the elevator he spotted Sam leaning against a pillar that Deeks would have to walk past to get to his car, since he had stopped hiding from the cameras after his first encounter with Callen two weeks ago. Steeling himself for either a fight or conversation he didn't want to have Deeks walked in Sam's direction. As the former Detective got closer Sam looked at him but Deeks refused to meet his eye. Infact he acted like Sam didn't even exist and it hurt more than the dark shinned federal agent thought it would.

As Deeks sat in his Camaro he waited for Sam and Callen to leave the hospital before he left himself. Last thing he needed was for them to find out where he lived and start bothering him there. Reaching into the glove box Deeks pulled out a pack of Marlboro no.27's and his zippo and lit up taking a long deep drag of the cigarette.

"_That's attractive." Came the sarcastic and condescending voice from the backseat._

"_Like you really care?"_

"_Your right I don't. I just don't want you to sound like a freight train when you're running to back me up_."

Deeks looked in the rearview mirror at the image of Kensi scowling at him form the backseat. She had on a military style jacket and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"_Right, because you think they are just going to magically wake you up tomorrow." Deeks took another long hit of the cigarette and sucked some air in between his teeth before slowly blowing the smoke out through his nose. "Oh that's right you're Wonder Woman. Nothing fazes the great and powerful Blye."_

_Kensi simply rolled her eyes at him. "You must be really fucked up if you're mixing your pop culture references like that." Kensi leaned forward and rested her elbows on the back of the front seats and rested her chin on her forearms. "Do you want me to wake up? I know I'd like to, I mean I look like shit don't I?" With that the body of the beautiful and strong Kensi Blye morphed into the weak and pathetic version of what she was now. Skinny, pale and the left side of her head had a large C shaped scar of white skin that battled with the months worth of hair that was beginning to regrow._

"_Or do you not want me to wake up Deeks?" Her voice matched her weak new visage and she looked at him with eyes that had a mix of longing and sorrow in them. "You know I don't blame you for this right?" She reached out to put her hand on his clean shaved face._

"_That's cause you're not awake. You wouldn't say that if you knew what I've become. What I did." Deeks snarls out and when he turns to look her in the eyes she's gone._

"Yeah….that's what I thought." Deeks snarled to himself as the mental conversation ended. Looking back out the windshield Deeks watched the Charger belonging to one Sam Hanna pull away from the hospital. Deeks wait a couple of minutes to make sure they were gone and not going to double back before he pulled out of the parking lot going in the opposite direction.

"G…How much do you really know?" Sam asked as he thought about what Deeks was starting to transform into. The clothes had pretty much been the same as they were before he left, but he could that Deeks had gained a few pounds, all of it muscle, to his build and was losing his surfers physic.

Callen looked at Sam and let out a heavy sigh. "If they can't wake her up tomorrow we are gonna lose him for good Sam….It's like all of his deep cover personalities are starting to merge and twist the Deeks we know into something else."

"You think Kensi is what kept him grounded." Sam's tone made it more a statement then a question.

"He wouldn't be the first person to lose it after so many times undercover." Callen said in a heavy tone as he looked at the window thinking of all the times he had almost become his cover for good.

"It's part of what we do G." Sam tried to rationalize.

"Yeah but we have people we can turn to. Each other, Hetty, hell even Nate even though none of us would ever admit it but this…..I've always known there was something between those two but either they never acted on it or were the rare ones that could differentiate between the job and their lives." Callen felt extremely frustrated because two of his people were hurt and he couldn't do a damn thing about it so he roughly ran his hand over the top of his head and back towards his face.

"But this thing with Kens…...Sam it wasn't the job. Her covered wasn't blown, she wasn't killed taking down the bad guys. She was run over by a god damn junkie. She…"

"Was an innocent bystander, a victim." Sam finished his partner's sentence since he had thought the same thing. "Something that Kensi would never be or allow us to think of her as that."

"Doesn't change the facts." Callen spit out bitterly

Same nervously looks in the rearview mirror and out the driver side window as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. "No it doesn't"

It was around 10:30 and everyone from the NCIS OSP team was gathered in the hallway outside of Kensi's room while her mother and Hetty were inside waiting for the Doctor to arrive and administer the new drug.

Julia had smiled sadly at everyone when she arrived but when she had noticed Marty's blatant absence she asked if he was getting coffee. Of course everyone tried to tap dance around the issue or wouldn't look her in the eye and she knew something was wrong.

"Is…Is he dead?" She asked them as he blood running cold.

"Mr. Deeks is currently processing all of this in his own way." Hetty said as she walked up to shake Julia's hand. "I'm truly sorry we have to meet under these circumstances Ms. Blye, I'm Henrietta Lang."

"And what exactly is Marty's 'own way'?" Julai asked as a sinking suspicion slowly turned her blood cold.

"Mr. Deeks has taken a leave of absence from both NCIS and the LAPD. We tried to contact him about today but haven't heard back from him." Hetty replied calmly and inflected the appropriate amount of sorrow and concern into her voice

When the Doctor arrived just before eleven and closed the door to talk to Julia and Hetty. Callen looked at everyone and sighed heavily. "Now comes the hard part."

"I'm sorry the hard part?" Nell asked not knowing what Callen was talking about as the team leader turned to face the wall and put his hands on the railing and slowly lowered his head. The only female in the hallway met Sam's understanding gaze.

"Trying not to get our hopes up too much." He said with tone that let them know he was hurting too.

A sudden sound of movement and heavy breathing came from the hallway as a very tired and tan looking Nate Getz practically ran up to them. "Sorry I'm late." He said as he looked at everyone and they all eagerly took the chance to feel something other than worry and fear at the arrival of a friend, even though he wasn't the one they were secretly hoping would show up.

Deeks slowly climbed out of bed not caring if he woke up the blonde in his bed as pain wracked his body protesting against each and every move he made. After his encounter with Sam and Callen last night Deeks had drove to the underground MMA fights he knew about in Long Beach. He wanted to feel anything other than guilt and hope so he figured pain was better than drinking himself to death. Of course he hated himself for that idea but in a perverse way it felt good so he welcomed it.

"Get up and get out." He said as he kicked the bed rudely waking up…what the hell was her name again, not that he actually cared.

"Wha…" she said as she slowly lifted her head and looked around through blurry eyes.

"I said get your shit and get out." He said roughly and pulled her arm so she was in a sitting position. This of course produced the reaction he wanted as she jerked her arm away from her.

"The fuck is your problem Max?"

"You, now get out." He said as he started to throw her clothes at her. As he did he couldn't believe how flat out whorish her outfit had been and he laughed out loud.

"God I can't believe I fucked someone who wears a leopard print thong." He said more to himself then to taunt her.

"Fuck you."

"Been there, done that, don't want the t-shirt...or the club membership." He knew he was pushing her and maybe a little too hard, but the sudden slap to his face and the feeling of something warm and wet running down his cheek told him she would be gone in a couple seconds.

Deeks half stumbled to the shower hoping a scalding hot shower and maybe a 6 pack would take the edge off of last night. As he made his way he made sure to pull the wad of cash from his pants pocket and stuffed it into his sock drawer were it joined several thousand more wadded up dollars.

After stepping out of the shower and not even bothering to wrap a towel around himself he ran one hand across the mirror to remove the steam as he looked at the new bruises and cut on his face.

"_Oh god, Deeks." Kensi said as she looked at his face in the mirror from behind him, her face full of concern and the need to take care of her partner._

"_I've had worse." He bitterly replied as the thoughts of Sidorov's interrogation rushed to his mind and he absently mindedly ran a hand of the left side of his jaw, the same side where all of his molars were completely fake._

"_Deeks why do you do this to yourself?" Kensi said as she moved to stand on his right side._

"_Someone has to since…."_

"_Since I'm not around to do it myself." Kensi finished for him. The pain in her voice and eyes made him feel like someone had his heart in a vice and was slowly tightening it. "Deeks you know I would never hurt you like this."_

_Deeks turn to look at her, his eyes puffy and red as tears began to slowly ran down his cheeks. "But you did Fern…..you left me." Deeks puts his right hand on her check and she leans into it and puts her hand on top of his. "How…how am I supposed to keep going?"_

"_Because it's what we do." She replies sadly._

"_So I'm just supposed to get my shit together while you lay in that fucking hospital like Snow White?" He whispers unable to stop the tears and his vision starts to get blurry._

_Kenis looks up at him and gives him a sad smile as a single tear makes its way down towards their hands. "Maybe I'm waiting for Prince Charming?"_

_Deeks starts to sob uncontrollably and his vision blurs. "Stay…please Kensi I…."_

"_I know Deeks. But I can't. You have to do this on your own."_

And just like that Deeks is staring at nothing and is alone in his bathroom. Barriers he had been trying to keep up with all the fighting, booze and woman came crashing down and Deeks slowly sank to the floor crying uncontrollably as he put his face in his hands.

Suddenly he was that scared little boy whose father beat the living shit out of him and his mother, and just as fast he's in the pool house tied to a chair as Sidorov's men are drilling out his teeth with a ¼ in drill bit.

A/N: Ok that is probably as dark as I am going to let any of the chapters get. That was hard for me to write and it's my story. I was trying not to cry during the last bit. Now I need to go eat a bacon cheeseburger and punch to wall so I feel manly again HAHA. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always please leave a review

Here is the url for the video I mentioned earlier.

watch?v=U6_licTgZxM


	4. What I've Done

A/N ok this chapter was really hard for me to write because parts of it hit really close to home from when I was in the Marines. Basically I can relate about most of this chapter on a personal level and the rest is from guys I was in with. I think I will take a short break from this story just to keep it from becoming too heavy for you guys and to keep it from bringing up some things I'd rather not think about.

PART 1

After what felt like a life time to the gather OSP agents the Doctor walked out fo Kensi's room and inside the heard Julia crying and they all lowered their heads in defeat at once. If the scene hadn't been so heartbreakingly sad it would have been comical. After roughly five more minutes Hetty walked out of the room and slowly closed the door behind her. As it softly clicked shut Hetty looked up at them and for the first time in a month Hetty had a genuine smile on her face.

"Miss Blye is showing signs of recovery."

Nell was the first to react as she unceremoniously flopped onto the bench behind her and finally let all over her emotions go. She was smiling and crying at the same and the experience was so foreign to her that for some inexplicable reason she was soon laughing at the same time. Soon everyone was smiling or lightly laughing finally able to be anything other then worried or scared in regards to Kensi.

Callen stood in the same position he had been in when the Doctor had closed the door nearly an hour ago. He allowed himself a small smile and a brief moment of happiness before he slowly stood up and easily slipped away. One of his team was on the road to recovery and now it was time to focus on helping the final member of his team. As Callen slipped away Hetty caught his eye and the two friends shared a sad smile and a slight head nod before Callen disappeared around a corner.

"She's ok G. Kensi….." Sam trailed off as he noticed his partner was nowhere in sight. As the ding of an elevator reached his ears Sam knew what Callen was up and as much as he wanted to help bring their team and family back together he knew this was something Callen would do alone. "Good luck G." He softly whispered before turned his attention back to his friends.

NAVY YARD, NCIS

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was sitting at his desk reviewing his teams report on the case they had just finished when the phone at his desk suddenly rang. "Gibbs."

"Gibbs, Its Callen."

"Hey Callen what can I do for you?"

"Is McGee still part of your team?"

"Yeah…why whats up?"

"I need him to run down a couple numbers for me Gibbs, Its more personnel then business."

"Uh huh. Personnel like DeGramont?" Gibbs asked evenly since he had no room to judge Callen for what he had done.

"No nothing like that."

"Don't you have people for these things Callen?" Gibbs looked at McGee who was doing…well whatever it is he does on that computer and snapped his fingers a couple times, which went unnoticed by the MIT graduate. So Gibbs did the next logical thing and threw a stack of sticky notes at McGee hitting him in the side of the head before using the 'come here' finger gesture.

"I do but they're at the hospital. One of ours is coming out of a coma."

"Then what the hell are you calling me for?"

"Trying to find her partner." Callen's voice was heavy when he said that last part and Gibbs knew it was bad.

"How bad?"

"Remember when I had to back you up in Zagreb?"

"Okay here's McGee." Gibbs said as he shoved into his chair and pretty much shoved the phone into Tim's hand.

"Agent McGee"

"McGee I need you to run down two names for me. Jason Tyler and Max Gentry. I just need either an address or phone number. Exclude anyone from outside the greater Los Angeles area."

"I'll get right on it."

"Thanks McGee. I owe you one. Put Gibbs back on the phone."

"Boss." McGee said as he held the phone out for Gibbs.

"Yeah."

"I need you to do one more thing for me Gibbs."

Gibbs smiled. "Just one?"

"Tell me how you got that boat out of your basement."

*click* Callen just smiles as he turn on the ignition of his car and drives away from the hospital

PART 2

Deeks had finally run out of tears and he walked stood up and made his way into the bedroom. As he numbly pulled on a pair of boxers and jeans he spotted his gun on the nightstand and for a long time he just stood there staring at it before he slowly leaned down to pick it up. As he stood back he pulled back the slide to see that there was already a round in the chamber and he calmly sat on the bed and just kept staring at the gun.

He didn't know what he was doing, but then again he didn't know what he wasn't doing. All he did know was that the weight of the Berretta 92A1 felt familiar and comfortable in his hands.

"_Marty?" _

_Deeks couldn't help but smile as she knelt down beside him and suddenly she looked exactly like she had the first time he had ever seen her as Melissa. Black tank top, jeans, bag that went across her shoulder and her hair was down and wavy. "Hey."_

_Kensi's smile was completely warm and open. "Hey."_

"_This is what I need to figure out isn't?" He said calmly as he looks at her._

"_Part of it." She said as he put her hand on his knee and sat on the bed next to him. Even though part of him knows this isn't real he swears he can feel the bed shift from her weight and the warmth of her shoulder against his._

"_Can you help me?"_

"_I can't help you with something you already know."_

"_Yeah." Deeks said as he looks at the small dresser infront of him where his leather coat has been sitting for days. He knew that under the coat was a picture of them that Nell had taken during a 'Team Night Out'. Deeks turned to look at her and saw that she was still smiling at him, it was her real smile not the one she did when they were joking around or when she was nervous._

"_So it's down the million dollar question huh?" He said still holding the Berretta in his hand, his finger resting on the front of the trigger guard._

"_Is it easier to be someone else?"_

"_Or be me." Deeks said as he looked at her. "Kensi what if I can't do either one?" He asked a little bit of fear creeping into his voice._

"_I'm here for you, remember?"_

"_No matter what?"_

"_No matter what." She says her voice full of nothing but kind honesty. They both look away from each other and just stare at the jacket covering the picture of them for a long time. Deeks feels a sense of…..calm and warmth wash over him as he ejects the clip from the pistol and pulls the slide back sending the unfired round flying somewhere into the room._

He's knows that she's not there anymore. That she was never there any of the times he's seen her since he gave Sam his badge but as crazy as it sounds, and maybe that's what he is now, he can feel that she's proud of him. Deeks smiles to himself as he throw on a shirt, grabs his jacket and the picture him and Kensi before he walks out of the apartment with no intention of coming back.

PART 3

As he pulled up to the address that McGee had given him for the only Max Gentry in Los Angeles Callen realized for the first time just how far his friend really had fallen off the beaten path. This part of town made parts of Eastern Europe look like Beverly Hills.

It had been almost two hours since Hetty had given him and the rest of the team the good news about Kensi and he knew his phone would have a million messages, texts, and missed calls when you put the battery back in it. But this was equally just as important and something he had to do. The address for Max Gentry was the last one McGee had found and he hoped it would not be the one he found Deeks as because he remembered who type of person "Max" had been.

When Callen knocked on the door he was shocked as it slowly opened an inch or two. "Deeks?" Callen called as he pushed the door wide open and saw that this apartment was by far the most run down looking thing he had ever seen. Callen looked up and down the hallway and entered the apartment. Doing a quick search found that Deeks wasn't here but all of his things were.

The investigator in Callen also immediately noticed the Barretta and the discarded clip that was missing a round. Callen almost panicked but there were no signs of a struggle or blood anywhere in the apartment. Callen easily slipped the pistol in the back of his pants and the magazine in his pocket before making his way back to his car, where his shoulders immediately sagged in disbelieve.

"You've got to be kidding me." He said in disbelieve at the sight before him, His 2010 Astin Martin Rapide was up on blocks and the wheels long gone.

PART 4

It was a little after one in the morning when Callen pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He had spent most of the day getting his wheels and tires replaced, which he did not enjoy explaining to Hetty, and then contacting the members of them team and telling them that he was ok. Of course Nell and Eric had been harder to explain things to since he didn't want them to know what he was doing, but they finally settled for accepting that he was ok and let it go. Nate and Sam had been mush easier to deal with.

As Callen exited his car and made his way towards the hospital he noticed someone was standing in the shadow of a nearby tree. He could tell by the relaxed stance and the fact that that this person wasn't exactly trying to hide that they wanted to talk so Callen made his way to the tree but instantly bringing his guard up and becoming alert to anyone else that might be around.

"Hey Callen." The voice of Deeks called out to him and Callen couldn't help but hear how calm and relaxed the voice sounded. It was the usual carefree tone he had gotten use to hearing from the Liaison Officer, but it wasn't the tense almost ready to snap tone he had heard the last two times they had met.

"Deeks." Callen called out casually and stopped walking waiting his teammate and friend to make the next move. From the way Deeks moved Callen could tell that he was more like his normal self, but he was still keeping himself guarded.

"So is…."

"She's still here." Callen said with a small smile on his face

"She was right." Deeks muttered to himself and Callen barely heard him.

"Who?" Callen was puzzled now and really hoped that Deeks wasn't on something.

"Callen I know this is gonna sound crazy, yeah that doesn't make me sound looney or anything." Deeks said and only slightly chuckled at his lame and nervous joke. "I…look can we do this in my car please?" Deeks said as he pointed over his shoulder at the dark red Chevy Camero behind him. "I understand if you don't trust me Callen. I'm sure you know everything thing I've done since I left and I'm not proud of them but I want to try and fix things. But I need to fix me first."

"Yeah if that's what you want Deeks we can do that." Callen said evenly as he walked towards the car when Deeks turned still in the shadows and walked towards his car.

"Actually we can just lean on the car. I've picked up a couple bad habits and the inside of the car kinda smells."

"Booze and woman." Callen said understanding and he leaned against the car next to Deeks.

"Smoking too." Deeks added sheepishly and you pulled a pack out of his coat pocket making sure not move in a 'threatening' manner. "You mind?" Deeks asked as he held the pack up for Callen to see.

"Only if you share." Callen said in a friendly manner. While Callen did hate smoking it was just one of those things you had to be able to do undercover, and he thought it might help Deeks relax.

"Really?" Deeks asked with a raised eyebrow

"Yeah but don't tell Sam."

"He is a worrier."

"Obsessively so."

The two men shared a short and almost comfortable laugh at Sam's expense before passing the lighter back and forth. They stood their smoking for a minute or two before Deeks finally spoke up.

"This was a mistake." Deeks said in a defeated tone but made no move to leave or get in his car.

"Deeks what did you mean when you said 'She was right'. Were you talking about Kensi?"

"Yeah."

Callen simply nodded and wait for Deeks to continue.

"I know I need to talk about this with someone that won't judge me or try to analyze everything little detail into some repressed Freudian slip about my mom of failed relationships."

Callen nodded and he understand that this was going to be extremely hard for Deeks to do but Callen was also aware of the fact that Deeks knew he had to do this

"Just start at the beginning Deeks, it won't be easy but we both know it's something that has to be done" Callen gently prod the troubled man. After a long silence Deeks shoulders finally sagged in defeat and he started telling Callen everything that happened over the past month, even the parts about seeing Kensi.

Deeks doesn't go into every single detail because he know Callen doesn't need to know them. But the things that need to, no correction had to, be said are. Every 'conversation' with Kensi, everything he did that lead him to this point Deeks forces himself to say.

By the time he gets to the end of the first week he knows that he's crying but he can't stop talking. It's like his mouth is on auto pilot and his brain is bringing up every drug dealer he basically mugged or beat into a bloody mess. He tells Callen that somewhere along the line all the dealers he beat and robbed started to look like Miguel Contreras. And when that had stopped making him angry the faces became Issak Sidorov's, then his goons.

When the 'visions' of Kensi started she was battered and bruised looking and begging him to stop, to help her. Then they started to change and she was blaming him for what happened to her. How he had started drinking to the point that he would black out just to make her 'go away' Deeks knew everything was bothering Callen but the team leader didn't let it show and Deeks knew that was for his sake so he just kept smoking and talking.

By the time Deeks got to what happened this morning he had cried himself dry again but when he finished he felt good, well almost. But he felt better than he had since all of this madness had started.

"Now that I think about it I should probably go back to my….. Max's apartment and get my gun before someone else finds it."

"I have it in my car Deeks." Callen said calmly as he gave the other man a reassuring grin.

"You…good. That's good." Deeks said as he grabbed the handle of the driver side car door and he pulled it open.

"Are you going to be ok Deeks?"

"I don't know if that's the word I'd use but I'm not going to do anything stupid if that's what you mean." Deeks said as he reached behind the driver see and grabbed a brown paper bag that was folded around something rectangular.

"Callen I know I've asked a lot from you. With Taking care of Monty and listening to all of this but can you do two things for me please? Well three actually." G. Callen didn't answer verbally but he nodded his head.

"In the morning can you have someone box up my stuff on the apartment? I'll go there tonight and get what I need for now and the money but I just don't trust myself to start living there again."

"I can do that."

"Can you give this to Kensi and explain why I'm not here. I know it will be hell on her but I'm no good to her or anyone else right now. It's a shitty and cowardly thing for me to do but I don't think I can keep it together and if I'm going to get better I can't do that."

Callen felt a lump rise in his throat but he forced it down and nodded that he would do that. "And the last thing?"

Deeks wrote his burn phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to Callen. "Let me know how she's doing. I know she will try to act tough and that she's fine we both know it's just an act. I should be the one to look after her but…"

"Deeks I got it covered. You just take care of yourself and if you need me call me ok?" Callen almost pleaded as he his hand to Deeks

"I will." Deeks said as he shook Callen's hand and was shocked when the smaller Agent pulled Deeks into a one armed hug

"I'll see you around Deeks."

"Good bye Callen." With that a still broken but somewhat healed Marty Deeks climbed into his car and drove way.


	5. Humans Being

Kensi sat on her hospital bed staring out a window lost in her thoughts. Callen had just explained everything that had happened to Deeks, even though she knew he was holding something's back from her. Kensi's emotions were all over the place as she replayed what Callen had told her. But it all boiled down to one simple thing. What had happened to her made something inside Deeks snap and that scared her. Not because what Deeks had become, even if it was only for a short time, but because she knew that if the roles had been reversed she would have done the same thing.

Kensi reached up with her right hand and softly wiped away a tear that had been ready to fall. When Callen had told her that Deeks had come very close to committing suicide Kensi almost had a panic attack but Callen was able to reassure her that Deeks was alive and that he had talked to him the night before. "Callen…is he going to be ok?"

"Yeah he'll be ok Kens." Callen said with a smile as he reached down to the brown paper bag next to the chair he was sitting in. "When I talked to him last night he wanted you to have this." He said as he stood up and offered it to her.

"What is it?" she asked as she took it gently in her hands and looked up at him.

"I don't know but he really wanted you to have it." Callen said as he smiled at her. The senior agent leaned down and placed a brotherly kiss on the top of her head. "I'm keeping an eye on him Kensi. He'll be back" With that Callen walked out to leave Kensi with her thoughts and whatever Deeks had left for her and slowly closed the door behind him.

Kensi sat their staring at the paper bag and because of the way it is folded she knew a picture frame was inside. When she pulled out the picture her lips turned upward as the image of the two of them.

_Deeks and Kensi were sitting at the bar during a 'Team Night' and were light heartedly joking back and forth while they enjoyed each other's company. Eric was busy crushing the high score on every arcade game in the place while Sam and Callen were teasing each other during a game of pool._

"_Guys smile" Nell said happily from behind Deeks and Kensi and she pulled out her digital camera and pointed it at them._

_The partners turned to face the small red head and were smiling as they waited for Nell to take the picture. When the red light flashed a second before the camera's actual flash Deeks suddenly turned and planted small chaste kiss on Kensi's cheek as a look of pure shock washed over her face. This of course led to Sam and Callen letting lose a few whistles and cat-calls._

Kensi ran her hand over the picture like she was brushing Deeks unruly mop of hair from his face. At the bottom of the picture was a post-it-note.

'Fern,

I'm so sorry. I just need to protect our thing and fix me.

-Deeks.'

Kensi let the picture fall in her lap and she tried to hide her face with her right hand as she started crying uncontrollably.

**THREE WEEKS LATER**

Deeks stood out in the open roughly 75 yards from the front of the Hospital where Kensi was about to be discharged. He had been there since 8 AM and he knew that everyone that was coming to see Kensi and help get her moved into her mom's had seen him but they had all given him a wide berth or had entered a different part of the Hospital.

The doors opened as revealing Kensi being pushed in a wheelchair by Callen and the scene made Deeks smile, something he hadn't done in so long it actually made his cheeks hurt but it was a good kind of pain. Not the twisted enjoyment of pain he had been living in while Kensi was in a coma.

As he watched Kensi talk excitedly to everyone their eyes suddenly met the whole world seemed to stop. Deeks wasn't sure how she would react but when she smiled at him Deeks wanted nothing more than walk over there, but he didn't know what he wanted to do after that so he pulled his hand from his pocket and gave her a small wave.

Kensi could tell form the way he was standing and the look in his eyes that he was still hurting and that he would need some more time before he would be 'ok' but she understood what he needed, even if it hurt that she couldn't help him the same way he had helped her finally lay her father's memory to rest.

When Deeks waved at her she gave him a small wave and mouthed the words 'I miss you' him and felt her heart flutter when he nodded and mouthed back 'I miss you too'. She was glad that she had taught him how to read lips at that moment. She tried to keep their eyes locked on each other as long as she could, even when they helped her get into the large SUV she kept looking at him both of them smiling at each other.

When the SUV started to pull away Deeks felt a panic attack starting as he began to sweat and his heart rate suddenly went crazy. He knew Kensi could see this as her face filled with worry and she put her hand on the window and looked at him 'Be same Marty. Please.'

'I will.' Deeks lips moved in reply as he took a few calming breathes to get himself back under control. The two partners and best friends kept eye contact with each as long as they could until finally the SUV turned a corner putting a building between the them and ending the oh so brief connection.

Kensi was sitting in the backseat of the SUV against the door and the moment that Deeks was no longer in her sight she felt empty and alone. When she had seen him and how different he looked with shorter hair and a 3 week old beard she realized just how much her coma and accident had affected him. Part of her was made at him for not being there with her, but she knew he had done all he could for her by showing up like that and somewhere deep down she knew that no matter what they would be ok. And she smiled as she looked down at the picture of her and Deeks.

Every fiber in Deeks being was screaming at him to go after her, but he couldn't do that could he? Most days he knew he was former LAPD Detective Marty Deeks, Special Liaison to the NCIS Office of Special Projects, but there were days were he wasn't sure if he was Max Gentry , Jason Tyler, or any of the other numerous under cover aliases he had adopted over his long and storied career as an undercover cop. But this…. It made Deeks realize exactly who he is and what he has to do to stay this way.

**TWO DAYS LATER**

Callen was standing in the gym with a towel over his shoulder and a water bottle in his hands as he watched Sam and Nate circle each other and easily counter each other's quick jabs and attempts to take each other down. Nate had been working in the field since he left the team to do what he called "a chance to do some real good" and was now fully trained and qualified to join them in as a field agent in addition to his duties as their Operational Psychologist. As Callen stood there he could tell from the way that Nate moved that not only was he well trained but he was actually very good at hand to hand.

Nate suddenly went on the offensive and unleashed a series of fast paced jabs and kicks at his current sparring partner. Towards the end of this attack he dropped his guard with his left hand exposing his chin and that went Sam threw a counter punch, only to wind up getting caught in a text book perfect hip-toss by Nate. Sam landed with a heavy thud on the mat as Ante stood there grinning down at him.

"OOH! Man down!" Callen called from the side laughing as he made his way over to them and clapped Nate on the back. "Well played Nate."

Sam glared at Callen as Nate offered him a hand up. "Remind me again why I like you G." Sam stood up and turned Nate's helping hand into a hand shake before starting to unstrap his MMA gloves and take them off. "Where did you learn that little set up Nate?"

"Few months back when I was working with some S.A.S. guys in Oman." Nate said calmly as he shook hands with Sam.

Eric walked into the gym and had a somewhat strange look on his face and cleared his throat to get their attention. "Guys."

"What's up Eric?" Callen said as the trio of agents made their way to the young technical operations officer of the team.

"Uh.." Eric stood their nervously and he was unsure of how to say what he had to say. "Deeks is up in Ops with Hetty."

"Thanks Eric." Callen said with a smile as he left the gym at a brisk pace and made his way to OPS, only to find that Hetty had sealed the door and he couldn't get in. Callen had an idea about the type of conversation Deeks and Hetty were having and as much as he wanted to me there to support the man he was sponsoring in AA he knew this was something Deeks would need to face on his own.

**INSIDE OPS**

"Mr. Deeks while I applaud to resolve to mend your fences I am not entirely convinced you are ready to return to active field work." Hetty said kindly to the mad who was sitting down on the opposite side of the room.

"You're not the only one Hetty…in fact…..I don't know if I'll ever be able to do any real undercover work again." Deeks said softly as he looked up from the floor to Hetty's calm and measured face.

"There are times, Mr. Deeks, when the line of work we do becomes too much for anyone person alone to handle. It is in those times that the people who matter the most to us are there to guide us through the darkness." The much smaller Operations Manager said calmly as she clasped her hands behind her back. "I have no doubt that in time you will once again feel yourself Mr. Deeks but in order to be so I believe you will have to give your colleagues reason to see you as the man you were and the man that you still are."

"I'm not even sure if I'm the same guy any more Hetty." Deeks said softly as leaned back in the chair and rad his hands over his face. The feeling of the very closely trimmed and groomed beard was a welcome sensation on his palms but he still wasn't used to not having his shaggy hair on the back of his hands.

"That is why I expect you to be here, on time, Monday morning Mr. Deeks. So that you may see you are still that man."

"Wha…" Deeks head shot up and he was staring at Hetty "But…I gave Sam my badge."

"For safe keeping while you were undercover." Hetty said as he produced a file and handed it to Marty. "Inside you will find your typed up report of your undercover assignment to disrupt a drug ring that was looking to expand into Camp Pendleton, complete with your signature Mr. Deeks."

Deeks was sitting there completely floored as he knew just how far on the proverbial limb Hetty was going to protect one of her people.

"But I do have one condition Detective. Once you feel you are ready to resume all the duties that are associated with being a member of this team I want you to seriously consider an offer, from myself, that has always been available to you." Hetty said as she smiled warmly at the man. "Now I believe Mr. Callen and the others would like to see you. But if you do not feel you are up to the task of facing them right now I will arrange for them to be elsewhere so that you may leave the building." Hetty pulled a small slip of paper and a key to a storage unit out and handed to Deeks. "At this address you will find your things that you had Mr. Callen retrieve for you."

"Not really sure that I'm ready for it but I need to make things right with everyone I hurt."

"Very impressive for only three weeks Mr. Deeks, but these steps are not things to be rushed."

Deeks let out a small chuckle as he laid the items Hetty had given him on the chair he had just been occupying. "One of these days you're going to have to show me where you keep your crystal ball Hetty."

While Hetty wanted to smile at Deeks slight return to form she instead chose to play along. "Crystal balls, Mr. Deeks are for amateurs and so called 'TV Mediums'." Hetty stood there looking up at Deeks with a deadly serious stare for a few seconds before she let a smile slowly spread across her face as Deeks started laughing.

**NEXT DAY**

Kensi was stretch out on her a couch in her mom's house as she was mindlessly flipping through the channels trying to find something to break up the monotony being stuck inside while she was recovering. Suddenly a knock at the door caught her attention and she moved to side up and grabbed her crutches, which she absolutely hated having to use, before she shouted at the door.

"JUST A MINUTE!"

Kensi awkwardly stood up using her crutches and made her way to the door. When she opened the door there was no one there and a scowl crossed her face in annoyance before she rolled her eyes and turned around to go back inside. As she did so her crutches pumped into something below her eye level. The injured female agent turned her head and noticed a small pastry box that was on a very cheap looking plastic step ladder. Kensi could see through the clear plastic on the cover of the box and noticed it was full of Apple Cinnamon Bear-claws and Chocolate Topped Doughnuts.

Kensi's head snapped up as she looked around for who did this and saw the familiar form of Deeks walking down the street. The sight of him and his casual and almost carefree gait brought a smile to his face. She knew he wasn't ready to face her yet, but she also knew this gesture was his way of telling her he was ok. Kensi continued to watch his back as he opened the door to his Camaro and she briefly wondered what had become of his Monte Carlo before he drove off.

After a few awkward minutes of trying to move using her crutches and holding onto the box of goodies Deeks had dropped off Kensi finally flopped back onto the couch. When she opened the box fully prepared to gorge herself on the offered sweets Kensi noticed a small envelope leaning against the side of the box. Gingerly retrieving the enevelope Kensi pulled out the letter it contained

'_Kensi,_

_I really don't know what I should say to you other then I'm sorry. I left you alone when you needed me the post and it was a stupid and selfish thing to do but I just couldn't handle seeing you in the hospital after what happened. It hurt more than I can ever saw or want to when I saw you laying in the hospital like that instead of the badass tough as nails ninja assassin that you are._

_A lot of things have happened since you woke up and every day I feel more and more like myself. Hetty has even told me to come back to work on Monday. I'm not sure if I'm ready but I talked to everyone yesterday and I think I've started to fix some of the damage I caused. Sam was the first person I talked to and it really hurt to see the betrayal in his eyes. He didn't say it but I know he took me leaving personal. I just hope I can make it up to him and earn his trust again._

_The wonder twins were understanding and Nell even gave me a hug but threatened to kick my butt if I did anything that stupid again._

_I'm sure by now Callen has told you that I'm in AA. I even got my one month sobriety chit last night and I was so excited because I knew if you had been there you would have been proud of me._ _Callen has been a big help in all of this and I really owe him a lot, even though I think you had something to do with him offering to be my sponsor._

_I'm really sorry for the things I said the last time we saw each other and I promise that I will talk to you in person soon. In the meantime please listen to your doctors and take it easy._

_-Deeks_

Kensi smiled sadly at the letter and turned her gaze to the picture of her and Deeks that was on the coffee table next to the couch. No one knew it but Kensi had actually been planning on asking Deeks out on a real date when they had finished the run she offered him two months ago. She had waited almost a year to act on her feelings for Deeks after he had kissed her during the Sidorov mission. And if she had to she could wait as long as it took for Deeks to be ok, and the man she had fallen in love with.


	6. Why Can't This Be Love

The simple white door with windows in had never been a scary sight for him before but right now the door that was between him and his partner was the single most terrifying sight Deeks had ever laid eyes on. It had been three weeks since he had dropped off the Doughnuts for Kensi. Deeks knew it was time to finally face the one person he had let down the most. During the day at work Sam and Callen had done everything they could to reassure him that Kensi didn't hold what happened against him but he still wasn't completely sure.

Kensi was slowly limping her way back from the kitchen to her couch with her beloved tub of Rocky Road in her hand and a spoonful of the deliciously sweet treat in her mouth. She was doing a pretty good job of keeping her mind off of Deeks but she was starting to get impatient. Because of her experience with Jack she knew that Deeks needed time and not smothering to get better but she really missed him. It had been four months since she had talked to him, if she didn't count the short lip reading conversation they had the day she was discharged from the hospital. When Kensi was about halfway to her couch someone knocked on the door and without thinking she spun around on her right leg, only to scream in pain as she collapsed to the floor. The knocking on the door went from polite to frantic banging.

"KENSI!"

The panicked voice of Deeks reached her ears but she was in so much pain that she could only hiss as she tried to cradle her still injured leg. She heard him turn the door knob trying to get in and she started to pull herself towards her front door with her arms, the last thing she needed right now was for Deeks to kick her door open in a rush to help her. Luckily the door opened and Deeks had his keys, which had a spare to her place, in his hand.

What he saw sent a new and intense wave of panic smashing into his heart. There on the floor in agony was his partner. Dropping his keys Deeks was on his knees beside her in an instant. "Are you ok?" Deeks said as he looked her over to see what was wrong.

Kensi blinked the forming tears away and looked into his fearful and concerned blue eyes. "Pills." She hissed out as she motioned to the bottle of pain meds on the coffee table. Deeks grabbed them and the half empty can of Coke and offered them to her. He did his best to help prop her up using his hand on her back, taking care not to put any pressure on her leg as she popped two pills in her mouth and quickly washed them down. Deeks stayed like that with her for a couple of minutes before she looked at him.

"Hey." She said with a small smile.

Deeks let out a half sigh half laugh at her delayed greeting. "Hey." Looking around the house Deeks noticed that it was remarkably clean which was weird for Kensi but he decided to keep that comment to himself. "You ok to move?"

"I'm fine." Kensi's automatic remark to that type of question was betrayed by the pain still evident in her voice. "Help me to the couch please." Kensi almost begged him. She had expected him to help her to her feet but instead he picked her up pretty easily. Deeks held her in his arms bridal style, making sure his hand was under her knees so he didn't cause her any more pain. Sliding his arms out from under has Deeks moved to sit on the coffee table in front of the couch, his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry I should have called first to let you know I was coming but I wasn't even sure I could knock on your door until I….." Deeks voice trailed off when he saw Kensi lean back against the armrest and close her eyes. Suddenly the fear that she was in trouble was replaced with the fear of her telling him to leave. "If you want me to leave I can." Kensi snapped her eyes open and looked at him. His voice was so weak and timid that it sounded nothing like him at all.

"Please don't." Kensi pleaded with him and reach out to put her hand on top of his. It was a reflexive move but she saw how it seemed to send a jolt through him. She was about to make a teasing remark when she reminded herself that this still wasn't the same Marty she had angrily drove away from four months ago.

Deeks didn't trust himself to speak so he just nodded at her and sat there with her hand on his and after a while he could tell form her face that pain was starting to fade. They two friends sat there just comforting each other for a couple minutes before Deeks finally spoke again.

"Kensi...I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just." Deeks trailed off when Kensi put her finger on his lips.

"Deeks you were the one hurting and I would have been there for you if I could have. I understand that you had to deal with things and I'm glad that you talked to someone instead of keeping it bottled up and letting it eat at you." Kensi said softly to him but when Deeks leaned back from her touch she felt a twinge in her heart and slowly brought her hand back and let it rest on her hip.

"Kensi I mean I'm sorry for what I said to you. It was stupid of me to act like that when you were being nice to me…..." Deeks trailed off as he looked down and stood up and walked towards the still open door and for a second Kensi thought he was going to leave. She had given him time, space and had been understanding and now he was going to walk away from her and it feel like she wasn't good enough, just like she had after jack had walked out on her the night before Christmas after they had finally become intimate again. She hadn't been able to fight to save her engagement to Jack but she was damn well able to fight to save what her and Deeks had, or could have. And she was more than mad enough right now to do just that

"So you're just going to leave." She bitterly spit out and Deeks turned to look back at her with a look of shock on his face. At that moment Deeks didn't know what hurt more, the look on her face of what she had just said to him.

"Jack left because he was too damn bull headed to get any help and I thought I was enough to help him but you…You got help, talked to people, talked to Nate and Callen. So why the hell won't you talk to me? Four months Deeks! It's been four months since we spoke to each other and now you're just going to walk out?" Kensi was so mad she didn't even realize that she was now standing their glaring at him.

"Is this all just a game to you? First you kiss me than almost get yourself killed saving Sam and avoid ANY conversation I tried to start with you about it. Then you give me that photo of us and then the doughnuts and letter. And now you just think you can show up after four god damn months only to leave?" The tears were running uncontrolled down her cheeks and she didn't care. She wanted him to see how mad at him she was, to see how much he was hurting her right now.

Deeks just stood there and saw the pain, betrayal and anger on her face and he knew that by not talking to her and basically leaving her life had reminded her of her ex-fiancé and that thought alone hurt far more than any of the things she had just said to him.

"I was gonna pick up the ice cream and close the door." Deeks said softly as he pointed at the quart of Rocky Road on the floor that was starting to melt.

Kensi's shoulders slumped at his explanation and she sank back into the couch still crying and buried her face in her hands. She heard him moving around the house and was expecting the door to slam shut any second. She was startled at the feeling of a freezing cold sensation on her burning leg and gasped and looked up to see Deeks crouched in front of her as he held the ice pack gently on her leg.

"Are you ok?" Deeks asked as her and moved back to sit on the coffee table.

"No." Kensi replied honestly as she used her shirt sleeve to wipe away her tears. "I don't think I will be until you are." She said being completely honest with not only Deeks but herself as well.

"Lucky for you I'm working on that." He said with a bit of a smile on his face.

Kensi knew this was Deeks, the old Deeks, way of deflecting uncomfortable situations with humor. "I'm not kidding." She said softly and was reminded of a conversation that had in the boat shed when she made him promise he wouldn't get himself killed.

"I know." He said and he moved from the coffee table to her side on the couch. "I have so much I want to say…I just don't know where to start or what I should even say."

Kensi ran her hand across the inside of Deeks elbow, up his forearm and grabbed his had softly as she intertwined her fingers with his. "Take your time Deeks." She said softly as her black and brown mismatched eyes met his deep ocean blue and she squeezed his hand for reassurance. "I'm not going anywhere."

"It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"It's not pretty."

"Nothing about our lives ever is."

"Well you're pretty smokin."

"Deeks you're stalling." She said with smile and leaned her shoulder against his and rested her head on top of it. "If you don't wanna talk about what happened after my accident you don't have to. Do you think you can tell me why you came here tonight?" she prodded his gently.

"I wanted to talk about us."

Kensi moved her head so that her chin was resting on top of Deeks shoulder instead of her cheek and she smiled at him and couldn't help but feel her heart speed up a little bit at his words. "I'd like that."

After a few silent moments Deeks let out a deep sigh and looked at her, their faces only two inches apart. "I'm tired Kensi, tired of pretending that there isn't something more than being friends and partners between us. We've been doing that back and forth tap dance for years and I just can't do it anymore." Deeks words were calm and soft when Kensi knew they could have been very harsh and cold to after she has shouted at him a few minutes ago.

"Me too. It's just that we had a good thing and I didn't want to screw it up. Deeks I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone, including Sam and Callen."

"I was always afraid of that too Kensi. But after what happened I can't lie to myself anymore, or to you." Deeks leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. He didn't hold the kiss for very long but he felt her kiss him back and that meant everything to him right then.

"Deeks…I…."

"You don't have to say it if you're not ready to. I just want you to know that I do."

Kensi's eye doubled in size as what he had said. Sure it was a VERY roundabout way, but he had said it and a huge smile spread across her face and she was sure her stomach was doing the happy dance right now.

"You do?"

"Yeah."


	7. Behind Blue Eyes

**A/N:** I really want to those of you that have left reviews and favorite/followed this story. It means a lot to me. I know the earlier chapters were pretty dark and heavy but it was all part of the plan to set up the rest of the story.

Deeks had a huge smile on his face as he walked into the bullpen.

"You're late." Sam said with a mock scowl on his face when he spotted the blonde detective.

"Yeah, but by like 5 minutes." Deeks said as he set his coffer on his desk and put his shoulder bag on the floor.

"Still late." Callen quipped as he was reading a couple e-mails on his computer.

"Oh I see how it is." Deeks said playfully enjoying the fact that everyone was treating him like the used before he left them all.

"Late." Nate added smugly as he fixed Deeks with his 'head shrink' look as Deeks called it,

"Et tu Getz?" Deeks acted wounded as he dramatically placed his hand over his heart before flopping onto a nearby chair as if mortally wounded causing Sam to roll his eyes at the man.

"I ever tell you what a pain in the ass you are?"

"Only twice a week." Deeks said before reaching for his coffee and purposely talking a very long and slow slurping drink.

"So did you talk to her last night?" Callen asked using Deeks good mood to get the man to open up.

"Yeah it was fi.." Deeks paused as everyone looked up at him and he stopped himself from breaking the only rule they had in place for him in the bullpen. "Right sorry." He held up his hands in surrender. "Yes we talked. It didn't start out how I planned but we talked."

"How so?" Nate asked out of reflex earning him a glare from the other occupants in the bullpen. They had all agreed that Deeks wasn't allowed to say that he was fine because all of them knew it was a lie. Deeks had only agreed to it if Nate wasn't allowed to actively 'head shrink' him in the bullpen. "Ok let me say that again. What happened?"

"I think when I knocked I startled her because she must have done something to her leg because I heard her practically scream bloody murder." Deeks said as he looked over at Sam. "She's ok. Just put all her weight on her bad leg and spun to face the door on it. She was asleep when I left this…..So how was everyone else's night?" Deeks asked knowing that he had already let it slip that he had spent the night at Kensi's

"You heard what I heard right G?"

"Oh I heard it all right."

"You. Spent the night. At Kensi's." Sam said in a low and slow tone as he slowly started to stand up from his chair and put his fists, which Deeks noticed were clinched pretty tightly, on his desk as he leaned heavily on them.

"Sam?" Deeks said as he slightly leaned back and was getting a little nervous and cast a pleading look at Callen.

"You're on your own with this one Deeks." Callen said flatly and he desperately tried to keep his face blank and not break out in a grin.

"Sam we just talked I promise." Deeks said wondering if they were messing with him again or if Sam was actually pissed at him.

"Talk?"

"Yeah."

"And that's all?"

"I swear."

"So you two didn't braid each other's hair?"

"NO! She's still hurt and I'm not….wait what?" Deeks look at Callen in confusion to see the Team Leader grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"You two didn't pain each other's toenails?"

"Maybe they traded tips on different hair products." Nate added as he looked at Sam with a quizzical expression.

Realization dawned on Deeks that this had been a planned ambush, in fact he was almost positive they knew he had spent the night at his partners of they at least had expected that to happen. "You…" Deeks pointed at each of them in turn. "You assholes!" He said as he felt his heart start to slow down after he thought Sam was about to beat his ass and he soon joined in the laughing.

Unbeknown to the four men Hetty was standing on the second floor and had been watching them and allowed herself a small smile to see that Deeks was almost fully healed. Of course she knew he would never be the way he once was, even when Kensi returned to the Team. But Hetty was still glad to see that he was doing a lot better.

As the light from the sun finally reached her face Kensi softly moaned in protest as she started to wake up. Kensi blinked a few times as she fully came to her sense and suddenly smelled something that was really good and made her hungry. Slowly sitting up Kensi noticed that she was lying on her couch and had a small colorful afghan blanket over her legs and there was something that looked like a plate with tinfoil over it and a folded piece of yellow paper on it.

Kensi reach out and took the plate and could tell from the weight that there was a pretty good amount of food on it and opened up the folded piece of paper.

'Kensi,

I'm really glad we talked last night and I'm sorry I kept you up so late. I made you some pancakes. And yes I cleaned up after I got done cooking.

I do too,

Deeks-'

Kensi couldn't help but smile at both the note and how Deeks told her he loved her without making her feel pressured. As Kensi pulled the tin foil off the plate she could tell that the pancakes where still warm which meant Deeks hadn't been gone for more than a few minutes. While she was a little disappointed that he hadn't said goodbye to her she found it very sweet that he had made her breakfast

It was a little past one in the afternoon and Deeks was currently in the gym working one of the heavy bags in the corner by himself. He knew it wasn't effective as having someone hold the bag but right now he just wanted to be alone before he had to go talk to Nate. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Nate, he just preferred to do something that didn't require him to think so he would either work the heavy bag or go for a run before he had to talk to the team psychologist. The vast majority of the time he was at the OSP he was review case files, coordinating between the LAPD and NCIS, and other mundane things that would preoccupy his mind. Everything he did outside of helping the team with a case or paper work was self-imposed. He was just one of the people that were hard wired to be a worker, plus it made the day go by faster.

"Deeks?" Nate called out even though he knew he would find the troubled detective in here.

"Yeah." Deeks replied as he continued to unleash on the bag. He knew the bag could take everything he could give it and was more than willing to do so. It wasn't an anger thing and everyone knew that, it was more of a trust issue since he had become dangerously good in a fight and he didn't want to run the risk of physically hurting one of his friends.

"It's time. You, wanna take a shower first of do I need to bring some Febreeze?"

Deeks kept his composure at the disarming joke and kept working the bag. "Thought we could do this outside today." Deeks said as he controlled his breathing.

"Yeah we can do that."

"Ok then." Deeks gave the 150 bag a right hook with everything he had. The impact of his gloved hand on the bag was incredibly loud and sent the bag swinging wildly "I'm ready."

"If you're anxious you can take a shower and collect your thoughts Deeks I'm in no rush." Nate said in a calm manner and put disarming smile on his face.

"Huh?" Deeks raised an eyebrow at Nate as he started to remove his boxing gloves.

"The bag." Nate said as he nodded at the still widely swinging heavy bag.

"Oh! Right." Deeks said as he moved to stop the bag from swinging. "You ever do any boxing Nate?" Deeks asked as turned around to look at the much taller agent who shook his head no. "You see the thing is when you work a heavy bag with a partner you don't have to hold back, so it's about power." Deeks walked over to his gym bag and deposited his gloves and retrieved his water bottle and a towel. "When you work a heavy bag on your own you have to hold back otherwise that happens." Deeks said as he pointed over his shoulder and took a long drink from his bottle. "You have to find that find that happy medium between power and control. Too little and your just wasting your time, too much and your waiting on the bag."

"Interesting."

"What?" Deeks said with a confused expression on his face.

"Deeks you just summed up your entire situation with what you just told me and you don't even realize it. The progress you have made since you talked to Callen has been…well it's been extraordinarily remarkable, and I'm not just saying that as your friend. Most people who struggle to deal with what happened to you take years to recover, some never do." Nate said his voice full of pride as he smiled at the detective he had been helping through this process. Deeks smiled bashfully at Nate and thought about the words he had heard.

"I think in light of this we can forgo todays talk. I'm not saying we're done and we'll talk again on Friday but this is a huge moment for you Deeks and I think whatever you and Kensi talked about last night was a real turning point for you." Nate said with a smile before he walked out of the gym leaving Deeks to his thoughts.

Callen had been secretly hiding around the corner listening to his friends. He knew he shouldn't have but he had been walking by and couldn't stop himself. When the two of them finished their conversation Callen allowed himself a small smile and slipped away before Nate walked out of the gym.

Kensi was sitting on the couch starring at her cellphone like she had been for the past hour. It's not the she was afraid to send the text message she was about to, she just didn't want to make Deeks feel any pressure since he was doing good and they had made so much progress last night. She knew that he had dealt with a lot and had made so much progress when she couldn't be there for him and she was so proud of him. Taking a deep breath Kensi quickly typed out her text message and hit send before she could second guess herself.

Deeks sitting as his desk and was going over a cold case and was making a few notes that the original investigating agent had either over looked or not followed up on. As he was jotting down his thoughts and ideas about the case his phone suddenly started to vibrate and looking at it Deeks saw that he had a text message from Kensi and he couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on his face. Unknown to Deeks Sam looked up from his own desk and noticed the smiled on your younger man's face as he was looking at his phone. Deeks read the message and his smiled was going from ear to ear now.

_Thank you for breakfast. I just want you to know I'm proud of you and that I do too._


	8. Fall To Peices

Kensi Blye was a hot, sweaty mess with her hair completely disheveled at the moment but right now her looks were the farthest thing from her mind. She was panting heavily and she had a fine sheen of sweat all over her body and couldn't stop the low moan that escaped her lips as she continued to move up and down. She was vaguely aware of Deeks tell her not to stop but she was so focused on the moment she wasn't even sure if he had said anything.

"Just like that Fern." Deeks said as Kensi was finishing up her last set of body weight squats at the LA County Physical Rehab Unit.

Kensi's leg felt like it was on fire but she knew that was from the muscles in her thigh not really being worked like this in the past four and a half months. Well she had been going to physical therapy three times a week now but this was the first time that Deeks had come with her and she was really glad he has here. It wasn't that she didn't like her physical therapist; it's just that Todd was always trying to hit on her instead of pushing her and it was annoying the hell out of her. Kensi knew that Deeks wouldn't hit on her because they both wanted her back at work soon. Ok she had to admit Deeks might hit on her but as they were already 'together' it was just Deeks being Deeks and he seemed to know when she needed him to lift her spirits with a joking flirt.

"Wow, that was oddly arousing." Deeks said with a cheeky grin on his face as Kensi slowly moved to a nearby rehab table and sat on it.

"Deeks" Kensi half warned him but glad that he was comfortable enough to keep making inappropriate jokes with her

"What? I'm just saying seeing you all hot and bothered is…OW! Really?" Deeks was rubbing his arm where Kensi had just slugged him.

Kensi rolled her eyes at him and rubbed some of the soreness out of her thigh. Ever since she and Deeks had talked last week they were back to normal, but now they were more open with each other about how they felt. They had shared a few kisses and other forms of affection with each other but it was always in the private confines of Kensi's home. They had agreed to take things slow because neither one of them were 100% yet.

"Keep making remarks about me being hot and bothered and you won't get to see what it really looks like." She teased him and slowly stood up and walked towards the woman's locker room, making sure she put an extra little wiggle in her steps.

"Now you're just being mean." Deeks called after her even though he was smiling like an idiot.

"So let me get this straight. This guy steals ten thousand dollars' worth of military grade hardware, sells it for 20% more than it's worth and then just dies of a heart attack two days later?" Callen asks as he turned from the large LCD screen in Ops to face everyone inside. "How does the FBI think this is just a pre matter of coincidence?"

"Eric Brockman does have a family history of heart related illness…so it could be genetic." Nell added as she pulled up a few medical documents.

"Yeah but this guy is a fitness nut. His house was full of protein powders and supplements all organic." Sam threw out there as he was studying all the information they had on their newest case.

"He was very much an image conscious man. We found everything from body fat calipers to some very advanced weight scales. All things you would find in a personal trainers officer."

"Nate's right. All this stuff plus the marathon t-shirts and the medals from tough mudder's and warrior dash's means there is no way this guy had a natural heart attack." Callen said as he turned back to the screen and crossed his arms. "He was murdered. We just need to find out if it was because the weapons were faulty or if it was because of who he sold them too."

"Well then Mr. Callen, I suggest that along with Mr. Hanna you review the information sent over by the FBI while Mr. Getz pays a visit to the LA County Coroner's Office." Hetty said as she turned to face Eric and Nell. "Mr. Beale Miss. Jones if you would see what else you can dig up on our friend here." The diminutive Operations Manager said.

"Hey guys look what I found wondering around outside all lost and confused." Deeks called to the other three men of the OSP Investigation Team. This of course earned him a playful elbow to the ribs from Kensi. "Ok seriously that's twice inside of an hour." He said as he sent her a mock glare.

"Hey Girl." Sam said as excitedly as he came over and gave Kensi a warm hug and had a huge smile on his face.

"Hey Sam."

"Well you must be feeling better if you're beating on Deeks again." Callen said as he waited his turn to give her a hug.

"I forgot what an annoying motor mouthed pain in the ass he is." She said happy to see her friends and be back in OSP, even if she was just visiting since she wasn't cleared for active duty yet.

"Yeah but I'm your annoying motor mouthed pain in the ass." Deeks said enjoying the fact to see her so happy at the moment.

"Hey Kensi. How are you doing?"

"Hey Nate, sorry to stick you with this guy as your partner." The female brunette said as she hugged the much taller man.

"Ok seriously I'm standing right here." Deeks said as he used both hands to point animatedly at the floor, only to receive a collective "So?" from everyone present.

"Where are you guys off to?" Deeks asked eager to stop being the brunt of what was becoming a group joke.

"Guy stole a bunch of military weapons, sold em, and dies of a heart attack three days later. FBI thinks it's a waste of time but we think there is more involved." Callen said as he led everyone into the bullpen. "Me and Sam are going to review what the FBI sent over."

"Yeah I bet that will be a short read." Deeks chimed in as they all filed into the bullpen.

"Nate is headed to the coroner's off to follow up with them." Callen said ignoring Deeks snide but more than likely accurate assumption

"Anything I can help with?" Kensi asked eagerly earning her a look from everyone else. "Come on guys! I've been stuck in my house watching bad day time TV with nothing to do."

"As much as the offer is appreciated Miss Blye I'm afraid you still have two more weeks of Physical Therapy until you will be cleared for limited duty with NCIS." Hetty said as she seemed to materialize behind all of them. Kensi almost jumped at Hetty's sudden arrival since it had been so long since the wizened older woman had stuck up behind her, of course years of training and experience allowed Kensi to keep her composure.

"Hetty please? I promise I'll stay in the bullpen and I won't do anything but paper work." Kensi was pleading with her boss like a kid begging for a puppy and Deeks had to struggle to keep his face composed.

"Absolutely not Miss Blye. While I applaud your zeal to return to work I must decline and insist you return home. Beside I know that after the intense session you had today at the hands of Mr. Deeks you are not yet fully yourself." With that Hetty turned around and walked towards her office.

"Ok seriously how did she know about that? We only left the rehab center like fifteen minutes ago." Kensi said as she turned around and sent a glare at Deeks. "Did you tell her?"

"What? No I was with you the whole time…well other than when you were in the shower but I would have helped you if you wanted me to."

"Ugh!" Kensi said in mock disgust hoping she put enough in her voice. But secretly she did allow herself to think about that for a second. "Then how did she know?" Kensi looked to Callen who had known Henrietta Land the longest.

"Hetty knows all."

"I heard that Mr. Callen." Hetty called loudly form her desk.

"And she clearly hears all." Sam said with a smile. "You'll be back soon enough Kens." The large former Navy SEAL added comfortingly as he put a hand on her shoulder. "Take care of yourself."

As everyone said their goodbyes to Kensi her and Deeks left the mission. As the duo made their way his car Deeks could tell something was bothering Kensi. He waited until they had pulled away from the mission before he turned to look at her. "Kensi what's wrong?"

"Nothing I'm fine." She said a little more curtly then she intended but her feelings were hurt.

"Look if this is about what Hetty said you know she is just looking out for you."

"I don't need her to I'm fine."

"Kensi?"

"Deeks I said I'm fine can you drop it already?" Said and he could tell from her face that she was getting pissed at him. So he decided to change the subject.

"Hey want to me bring Monty over to keep you company? You know you're his favorite girl." He said smiling at her trying to change the subject or cheer her up.

"What I want is for everyone to stop treating me like I'm some fragile little thing made of glass." Kensi practically shouted at him

"Kensi no one is treating you like that. You saw they were all excited to see you."

"Really? Cause they sure as hell don't treat you like that and you turned your back on all of us and tried to empty every bottle of booze you could get your hands on." As soon as she said it Kensi knew she had crossed a line and had hurt Deeks. A blind man would have seen the expression that was plastered all over his face at the moment. "Oh my god. Deeks I'm sorry I….I didn't mean it."

Deeks just set his jaw in a hard line and stared out the windshield, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Yeah."

"Deeks." Kensi called to him softly "Deeks look at me. I'm sorry I was mad and I shouldn't have said it."

"Whatever."

"Hey I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. I was outta line." Kensi reached up to softly brush his hair from the side of his face but he jerked his head away from her when her fingers got close. The rest of the drive to her place was very quiet and extremely uncomfortable as he pulled to the side of the curb. When Deeks didn't move to unfasten his seatbelt she knew he was still pissed at her, which was a very bad sign because she had never known Deeks to stay mad at anyone for more than a couple minutes and she had never seen him mad at her, he had always been the forgive and forget type. "Do you wanna come in? I still have some left over Thai food from the other night." She offered softly unsure of how to make him not be mad at her. She was really hurt right now and she knew that she had really stepped over the line.

"I'm not very hungry and I have some things to take care of." He said flatly as he just kept looking straight ahead.

"Deeks I'm sorry." She said almost pleading with him.

"Yeah….look I gotta go and I'm sure you need a nap or whatever." He said still hurt and not wanting to look at her.

"Only thing I need right now is to make this up to you."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"Anyway I have to."

"Anyway?" He asked as he turned his deep blue eyes to her but they were almost emotionless. "So what if I say sleeping with me is the only way to make it up to me?"

Kensi knew he was trying to piss her off just so she would leave him alone. It was true that she had thought about them together in bed but it was always something that she had imagined would be a romantic occasion, not a 'revenge fuck' as he was basically alluding to. Part of her want to beat the shit out of him for even saying that, but the other part of her was willing to do what she had to so she could make things up to him so she swallowed her pride. "If that's what you want."

Deeks sighed and turned his attention back to the front of the car. "I think you better leave." After Kensi had climbed out of his car Deeks drove off not even waiting for her to get inside. If he had waited he would have seen her slump to the ground crying as she leaned against the front door for support.

Deeks was still pissed when he pulled into the parking space of his apartment and just sat ther in his car fermenting in his own thoughts. Sure what Kensi had said but who the hell was he to say what he had just said to her. Deeks hauled off and slammed his hand into his steering wheel as hard as he could a feel times and his hand was just stinging like crazy as he finished. After sitting there for a minute or two Deeks angrily jerked the car door open and slammed it shut as he stormed his way into his apartment. He wanted nothing more than to find a bottle of whisky and go swimming but he couldn't let himself go down that road so he did the next best thing. Throwing on his running clothes Deeks he took off in a rush, not even bothering to warm up or stretch and he just ran, and kept running.

Kensi finally stood up still crying and walked into her house. She had fucked things up with Deeks more than she ever had thought she could. The fact that was she basically told him, to his face, that their friends treated a recovering alcoholic better then they treated her. Kensi didn't know what to do or who to turn to so she called Callen.

Deeks finally stopped running just because he didn't think his legs could take anymore abuse and he stood their breathing heavily and just stared out over the ocean as he watched the evening tide roll in. He wasn't exactly sure how far he had run but Deeks knew he was well outside of Los Angeles. Deeks wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and smelled the puke from the two times he had thrown up during his hazing session and recoiled from the smell and wiped his hand on his shorts. His lungs were burning, his feet felt like they were on fire and his legs threatened to give out on him as Deeks turned around to begin the very slow and what was sure to be a painful walk back to his place. Deeks had only walked a couple hundred yards when Callen's car quickly pulled up beside him.

"Deeks!" Callen shouted as he quickly climbed out of the car and rushed to his friend.

"Oh Hey Callen what brings you out to….well here." Deeks said as he waved his arm around to take in the scenery.

"Kensi called me." He said as he handed Deeks a bottle of water he had grabbed from the car and gave it to the blonde detective.

"Oh? What did little miss sunshine have to say?" Deeks asked secretly hoping that she hadn't told the team leader everything that happened. He was extremely mad at himself for what he had said to her, so he punished himself by running what felt like two marathons back to back.

"That she had said something she shouldn't have and she was worried about you." Callen said as he looked over Deeks and could tell that the man was going to be extremely sore in the morning. In fact Callen doubted if he would be able to walk tomorrow let alone come into work. "What the hell happened Deeks?"

"I don't wanna talk about it Callen. I just wanna go home." Deeks said as he tried to walk past Callen, who put his hand in his chest to stop him.

"What the hell happened? I've never heard her that worried before."

"Get the hell off me Callen." Deeks threatened him. "If you're not gonna give me a ride I'll find one on my own."

"No your gonan tell me what happened." Callen said as he moved to stand in front of Deeks.

"What you gonna make me?"

"If I have to."

Deeks bit his lower lip and turned his head to the said. "Ok." Callen had no warning as Deeks fist collided with the left side of his head and sent him stumbling away. Deeks started to walk past Callen as the man spit some blood out of his mouth shocked at what happened. The shock quickly faded and now Callen was pissed.

Deeks got a few feet away from Callen when he suddenly found himself being picked up and then slammed into the ground as Callen used a double leg take down on him. Deeks rolled to his back and pulled Callen in his guard by wrapping his legs around him and grabbed G's head and pulled it down and started to slam his fist into Callens exposed ribs. Experience caused Called to bring his elbow down to protect his ribs before he put Deeks in a modified arm bar and head butted Deeks in the face barely missing his nose. Deeks's experience from his month as Max and beating on drug dealer and their goons enabled him to escape the arm bar and push Callen off him before he quickly moved to his feet.

Callen swing at Deeks who blocked it and countered with a hard jab that Callen ducked under and caught Deeks in the ribs with an upper counter and followed up with a hard left hook that caught Deeks right in the mouth instantly bloodying his lip. The taller man shrugged off both hits using his anger, that was still directed at himself, and the new surge of adrenalin to elbow Callen in the middle of his forehead. No stranger to brutal fist fights Callen used his experience and lashed out with a nasty round house kick to Deeks left leg and the LAPD Officer cried out in pain as his leg buckled under the combination of sever muscle fatigue and the pain. As he landed on his knee Deeks didn't have a chance to defend himself before Callen hit Ceeks in the eye with an overhead superman type punch knocking Deeks to his hands and knees.

"Stop this shit before someone gets hurt." Callen said as he took a couple steps back but staying in a fighting stance keeping his hands up.

Deeks rolled to get sit on his rear end and just glared at Callen. "Why do you care Callen? I'm not even NCIS or did you forget I'm LAPD." Deeks spit out the blood pooling in his mouth keeping his eyes on Callen

"Jesus Deeks you still don't get it do you? After all this time working side by side you don't even see that you have a home, a family with NCIS." Callen said as he put his hands on his knees and groaned as his ribs protested. He knew they weren't broke but they were sure as hell going to hurt for a while.

The moment was broken when the flashing light bar of a California Highway Patrol car pulled up and two officers stepped out. "What's going on here?" One of them demanded as he looked at the scene and could tell these two had just been beating the shit out of each other.

"Just a friendly conversation about work place politics, nothing to see here." Deeks quipped still sitting on the ground and felt his eye starting to swell.

"Right. How about you two boys show us some I.D." the second officer said as he moved in tandem with his partner.

"Would you believe me if I said I left my wallet in my other pants?" Deeks joked and Callen couldn't help but laugh a bit, which hurt like hell.

"No. What about you." The first patrolman said as he looked at Callen. "Or are you wearing the wrong pants too?"

"Oh I like him, he's got a sense of humor." Deeks said and he slowly and painfully climbed to his feet.

"Deeks shut up." Callen said as he slowly stood up. "I'm Agent Callen this is my partner Detective Deeks." The NCIS Agent said as he nodded towards Deeks. "My badge, I.D, and service pistol are in the glove box and the car is unlocked." Callen said as he coughed a bit of blood splattered on the road side.

About five minutes later the two Highway Patrolmen finally left. They had helped Callen and Deeks get the bleeding from their minor cuts stopped and looked the two NCIS Operatives over to make sure they didn't need to go to the hospital. Before they left the patrolmen made it very clear that if they ever encountered this type of scene between Deeks and Callen again they would arrest and charge both men with assault and battery, regardless of their status as Federal Agents.

"So are we good?" Callen asked over the roof of his car to Deeks.

"You gonna ask me what happened with Kensi?" Deeks voice had lost its hard edge but he made it clear he didn't want to talk about it.

"Not if you're gonna hit me again." Callen said as he worked his jaw side to side and it loudly cracked. "Deeks what all have you told Kensi about what happened?" Callen said softly as he look Deeks dead in the eye and saw the man's shoulder slump.

"That when I saw her in the hospital I….I spent a month looking up at the bottom of a bottle." Deeks said and when he saw Callen frown he looked down at the ground.

"Deeks I think you need to tell her the whole story. All she knows is that you're a recovering alcoholic you flirted with the thought of suicide."

"That's all you told her?"

"It wasn't my place to tell her your story. It's yours." Callen said as he pointed hard at Deeks. "Come on I'll give you a ride home."

"Actually can you drop me off at Kensi's? Your right she needs to know the whole truth…and so do you." Deeks sighed heavily. "Callen me and Kensi are….well I'm not sure we are exactly but its more than just partners."

"I know Deeks that's what makes you two such a good team."

"No Callen its more personal….we… Callen I love her." Deeks said softly as he looked as his team leader's face searching for some sort of reaction.

Callen stood their quietly as he absorbed this bit of news. He had always known that there was something with them but this, well this was a lot more than he had expected. Callen knew from first had experience that a personal and professional relationship in their line of work was disastrous combination, but he also knew he had never seen a partnership work the way that Deeks and Kensi did. There was no NCIS rule about two agents being involved with each other but OSP was a whole different animal all together because of the type of work they did, and technically Deeks wasn't NCIS even though he was part of the OSP team.

"Callen?" Deeks asked worried and wondered if this had been the wrong thing to say

"Yeah sorry…um….First let's get you back to LA and then go from there."

"What about what I told you?" Deeks asked the fear of what might happen building in his chest.

"We'll just take it a step at a time I guess and see what happens. But you have to promise me one thing Deeks."

"What's that?"

"You tell her everything, tonight." Callen saw Deeks open his mouth to protest and cut him off. "I mean it Deeks. You say you love her and I'm guessing you want to make this thing with her work. But you need to be completely honest with her Deeks. You owe it to both of you to do that."

"You're right. I…I guess I'm just afraid of how she will react."

"You love her right?"

"Yes."

"And she loves you?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Then she will be there for you Deeks. Look we both know that Kensi isn't one for showing her emotions around others and that she tries to hide from them. But Deeks she has opened up to you in way she never opened up to me or Sam. You were able to slip past all her defenses and get closer to her than anyone else in the world." Callen said as he rested his forearms against the top of his car. "If you two really do want to try and make it work Deeks you have to tell her." Callen said and he actually wanted to see his two friends be happy. They deserved it after everything all of them had been through. "Now we better get going before Kensi sends out a search party for you."

Kensi was pacing frantically in her house clutching her phone tightly in her hands. She couldn't help but worry about Deeks since she had thrown his bought with alcoholism in his face like that and she had hurt him. It had been a couple hours since she had called Callen and she had left so many messages on Deeks phone, each one more and more frantic. Kensi was afraid that what she had said to Deeks had caused him to go find a bottle to drowned himself and it scared her when suddenly there was a knock at the door and she practically ran to answer it.

"Deeks! Oh god I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean it." She cried when she saw him and pulled him into a tight hug squeezing her eyes tightly against the tears that were threatening to spill out. She breathed sigh of relief when she felt him hug her back just as hard.

"Kensi we…I have some things I need to tell you." Deeks muttered softly against the side of her head. Kensi let go of him and noticed his face and that he had been fighting and she softly brushed his hair away from his bruised eye.

"Oh my god Deeks. Are you ok?" She said since he looked like he went 5 rounds with Jon Jones.

"Yeah. Can we go inside? I haven't been exactly truthful with you about what happened after your accident and I need to tell you the whole story."

Kensi could tell from the pain in his voice that this story was going to be long and was not one she was going to enjoy but he had to tell her so she smile softly at him and took his hand in her's and led them both inside. After Kensi had deposited Deeks on the couch she went to her kitched and grabbed an ice pack before she handed it and a towel to Deeks for his eye and sad next to him and curled her legs up under her.

"What all did Callen tell you the day after you woke up in the hospital?" Deeks asked so he could get a sense of how much she knew.

"Just that after my accident tou left and started to drinking…I think he might have mention you thought about suicide." She said softly doing her best to keep the fear and pain out of her voice. Kensi watched as Deeks looked at his lap and collected his thougth before he started speaking.

"There's more to the story then that. I need to tell you all of it and I want you to know I'm not doing this to hurt you or make you feel bad for me…..When Hetty told us what had happened to you it felt like my whole world just crashed down around my ears. I didn't know if you were going to die or ever wake up and the thought of losing you forever scared the hell out of me. Kensi it scared me more than anything else ever had." He said as he deep blue eye were getting teary as he looked up at her and she grabbed his hand for support. "After we went to see you in the hospital I…I couldn't handle seeing you like that and all I wanted to do was find the person who did that you and you slowly torture them to death…I spent the next four days tracking him down."

"Kensi I betrayed everything we stand for. I was out of control. When I finally learned that Miguel had hit you because he was in a hurry to meet his heroin dealer…Kensi the darker 'covers' I've taken on started to take over and I hunted him down like a mad dog." Deeks knew that Kensi was silently crying and he had to turn his face from hers if he wanted to continue this.

"I finally caught up to him but Sam and Callen caught up to both of us at the same time….I was going to kill him on the spot but Sam talked me down." Deeks took a shaky breath as he ran his hands over his face. "After that I gave Sam my badge and walked away. I spent the next month on a downward spiral of booze, hunting down every drug dealer I could find and basically beating them senseless and stealing their money."

"Oh Deeks." Kensi voice cracked as she felt her heart break at what this had done to him and she couldn't stop the tears that were running down her face.

"A few days after the thing with Miguel and Sam I….I started to see you all the time. At first you showed up how you looked in the hospital and were beggin me to stop doing this and help you… It was more than I could handle and that's when I started drinking to try and numb the pain of what I was doing and how I was basically betraying you by walking away like that." Deeks was aware of the fact that Kensi had her hand on his back and she had moved closer to him. "As I kept getting worse so did…my visions I guess you call them. After a while I think my own self-loathing made you show up looking normal and were blaming me for what had happened to you. I kept mugging every dealer I could find and drinking every bottle I could get my hands on"

Kensi sobbed loudly and turned his face to hers. "Deeks you know I would never do that. It was an accident and I could never blame you for it."

"I know that Kensi, really I do. It's just that…..I love you Kensi and what happened to you caused something inside of me to break." His voice was shaky and week and he didn't want to worry her anymore. "I can stop if you want."

"Do you want to tell me the rest?"

"Yeah but I don't….I don't know what you'll think of me."

"Deeks I'm right here. I told you a long time ago I would be here for you no matter what." Kensi was confused when he let out a laugh that almost sounded like he was dead on the inside.

"The….The day you woke up was when I hit rock bottom Kensi. I…I really thought about just ending it all. All the pain and guilt, but you stopped me. You said that to me and stayed with me until I dropped my gun….Kensi I know that you weren't there but I could feel you there with me….You saved my life Kensi." Deeks said as he broke down crying and he let her pull him to her with his forehead resting on against her chest.


	9. One Last Breath

**A/N: To those of you who have left reviews (I mean a real review not a two word review or text face smile face) I want to thank each and every one of you! You guys have kept me motivated with this story and I thought I would put write this chapter the way it is even thought I was originally planning to have this happen. I may hae a small fan base for this story but you guys are awesome and I mean it! So thank you so much for your support and words of encouragement! I really hope you guys like this chapter as much as I did, especially after the hell I put Deeks through LOL.**

Kensi stood next to her bed where Deeks was still sleeping with a cup of coffee in her hands and she smiled to herself at the image before her. Last night had been hard for her but she knew it had been even harder for Deeks to tell her everything that he had. When her blonde partner had finally stopped cring she had gently guided him to her room. She wasn't going to let him spend the night alone after what he had told her. She wasn't worried that he would do something to himself, but when he had told her that his 'vision' of her had kept him from killing himself she felt her heart break for him and at the same time she had started to understand just how much he loved her. Deeks was currently lying on his side and his nose was doing the little side to side twitching thing it does when he's happy. It was so nice to see him so peaceful, especially after everything he had been through. She knew he had to tell her his entire story but that hadn't made it any easier to listen to. Over the course of their partnership she had seen him hurt and even a little vulnerable at times but nothing like last night when he broke down after telling the hell he had put himself into. Carefully lowering herself to sit on the bed she gently brushed a few stray strands of hair from his face and she almost giggled when he tried to lean into her touch and his nose really started twitching.

"Mmhm trying to sleep here." Hey muttered as the smell of coffee and Kensi's hand gently woke him up.

"Hey there." She said as she returned his sleepy smile and offered to share her coffee with him. "You ok?"

"Yeah I think so." He said even though his face hurt from his fight with Callen and his legs hurt from his run and the kick from Callen. "Remind me not to try and fight Callen again." He said around his fat lip and moved to sit up in her bed.

"Callen did this to you?" Kensi said getting pissed at the senior field agent of OSP

"To be fair I hit him first." Deeks said sheepishly as he took her offered cup of coffee.

"Wait a minute. You hit Callen? You're lucky this is all you got." She lightly teased him as she put her hand on his leg which was still covered by her comforter. "Speaking of Callen he called me a few minutes ago. He said he is covering for you today so you get a three day weekend."

"Awesome. I should start a fight with him more often." Deeks half joked even though he felt bad about putting Callen in the position to basically kick his ass.

"Deeks." Kensi softly warned him.

"Yeah sorry too soon." Deeks muttered as he handed her back her cup of coffee. "Kensi I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday. Even if I was mad at you I had no room or right to say that." He said looking down at his lap not wanting to see if she was pissed at him for that.

"No I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that especially since I didn't know everything." She said as she gave his thigh a soft squeeze. "Forgive me?"

"Only if you forgive me.' He said as he looked at her and smiled.

"Deal."

"Deal."

Soon the pair were smiling and lightly laughing at themselves. Kensi finally stopped the comfortable moment. "Since you don't have to go to work you should take a shower because you buddy boy stink, and now I have to wash all my sheets."

"I um…I think I might need some help walking. My legs feel like ten ton weights right now." Deeks said as he moved to a sitting position and couldn't help but cringe with each movement."

"Yeah but no funny business Deeks. I mean it." She said as he moved to his side of the bed, a thought that she found a little pleasant to think about she moved to help him up to his unsteady feet. It took them a little bit to move from her bedroom to the bathroom. "You gonna to be good?"

"Yeah I think so…" Deeks let his voice trail off like there was something else he wanted to say.

"Whats wrong?"

"I…well I might need help in the shower. Not really sure if I can reach my back since I'm so sore."

Kensi smiled softly at him and slowly moved closer to him. "Well if you want me to I could help you with that." She whispered softly to him as a soft and loving look came over her face and she fiddled with the bottom button of her shirt nervously. Deeks stood there and slowly swallowed a lump that was rising in his throat and he slowly put his hands on her hips ever so gently.

"You don't have to if…ouch!" Deeks said as Kensi had flicked him in the middle of the forehead and was now walking backwards with a playful smile on her face.

"Wow you really are easy Deeks." She teased as she shut the door.

"If you only knew Fern." He called loud enough so that she could hear him.

As Sam walked into the bullpen he spotted G sitting as his desk reading something on his laptop so the former SEAL put his bag in his desk along with his coffee.

"Morning G….whoa what the hell happened to you?" Callen looked up at Sam and gave him a smug grin as recalled Deeks words from the night before.

"A friendly discussion on workplace politics."

"And you call this friendly?" Sam asked as he gestured his hand up and down to encompass his sitting partner

"Good morning every…whoa!" Nate's good morning was interrupted by the sight of Callen with a swollen and spilt lip that matched nicely with the large bruise on his forehead above his right eye.

"Guys it's nothing. Really."

"This isn't nothing G."

"Sam let it go." Callen said as he turned his attention back to his email.

"Fine but only because I know your too damn stubborn to tell me." Sam said as he moved around to his desk and sat in his chair before opening up his own laptop.

Nate figured that the conversation was over so he just shrugged his shoulders and moved to his own desk when noticed that Deeks was absent. "Hey have you guys seen Deeks?" He asked casually wondering if Deeks was running late or up in Ops.

"I have him seeing if the LAPD has anything on Brockman. So what did you find out at the coroners yesterday?"

"They still maintain that he had all the symptoms of cardiac arrest and that there were no signs of a struggle on his body. I asked Rose if she could send some blood to a lab for testing against any known compounds that could cause a heart attack."

"How is Rose anyways?" Callen called as he looked at Nate and noticed the smallest of smiles on his face before the psychiatrist schooled his features.

"She's fine." Nate offered in a limited fashion glad that things were back to where they had been before he had betrayed her trust by questioning her when the team had been investigating an illegal organ and tissue harvesting ring.

"You do know your poker face sucks right Nate?" Callen joked at the man's expense.

"Shut up Callen."

"Yeah G. you know Nate doesn't kiss and tell. But I'm sure we could have Eric retrace his movements from last night and find out what Nate here was up to." Same chimed in as he acted like he was going to head up to Ops.

"We talked and went out for a couple cups of coffee after she got off last night." Nate finally admitted in an effort to shut them up.

Kensi pulled her SUV into her driveway and opened the door and waited for Monty to climb out of the car before she led him into the house. Monty promptly made his way to the couch and proceeded to claim is as his own by sprawling out all over it. "Haha. Now I know where Deeks gets his bed manners from." Kensi looked at her watch and noticed that it had been ten minutes since she had left and the house was completely silent. "Deeks?" Kensi called out wondering where he was as she walked towards the back of the house. "Hey Deeks where are you?" Kensi was getting a little worried as she pulled her pistol from her back and put it at the ready in front of her. Slowly pushing the door to the bathroom open she found it empty but the steam and humidty in the air told her that Deeks had finished his shower not long before she got back.

When Kensi eased into the doorway of the bedroom her shoulders sagged in releif as she saw Deeks was on the bed in a pair of sweat pants completely asleep. She holstered her Sig and smiled at him. Monty must have felt alone because he came trotting into the bedroom and made his way to her bed.

"Monty." She hiss softly and the dog looked between her and Deeks and put one paw on the bed. "No Monty don't…..get on my bed." Kensi whispered in defeat as Deeks scruffy mutt curled up at the foot of the bed and started to wag his tail while he looked at Kensi. "You're as bad as Deeks you know that?" She whispered and the dog rolled over on his back practically demanding she come scratch his stomach. Kensi rolled her eyes at the dog but softly treaded to Monty before she started to scratch his stomach and she could swear the dog was smiling at her as his tail kept wagging faster and faster before it soon smacked Deeks in the face.

"That's a good boy Monty!" Kensi exclaimed happily and louder than nessicary which only made Monty repeatedly beat Deeks in the face

"Traitor." He mock scowled at Monty before rolling over and putting a pillow between the offending tail and himself.

"You want me to get you anything Deeks?" she asked as she leaned closer to him and propped herself up on her elbow and softly rested her chin on his upper arm.

"Can you stay?" He asked turned his head to look at her over his shoulder.

"If you want me." she softly replied feeling his soft breath against her face they were so close

"Only if you want to." He said softly and found himself getting lost in her beautifully mismatched eyes.

Kensi smiled at him and kissed his swollen lip tenderly so it didn't hurt. "Gimme a second okay?" she asked still smiling.

"I'll wait as long as I have to Fern." He said with a smile that lit up his eyes and he watched Kensi as she kicked off her shoes and shrugged off her coat before placing her pistol on the nightstand on the right side of the bed before she crawled on it taking care not to kick Monty. Deeks rolled over as so that Kensi's back was against his firm chest and she let a small smile grace her face as she felt his strong arms wrap protectively around her before she intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of his hand. They lay their like that for a few moments before Kensi softly spoke up.

"Hey Deeks."

"Mm."

"I love you." Kensi said softly and felt him kiss the back of her neck gently under her hairline and it sent a shiver down her spine and she tried to press herself even closer to Deeks.

"I love you too." He softly muttered.

Kensi rolled over so that she was face to face with Deeks and put her hand on his cheek and kissed him on the lips. Deeks responded in kind be returning her kiss and wrapping his arms around her back and rolling over so that she was on top of him. In order to stay in her current position and get comfortable Kensi moved that she was on her knees and straddling Deeks as she deepened the kiss. She knew that it probably hurt his lip but she wanted, no NEEDED, this right now and she placed her other hand on Deeks chest for balance as she ran her tongue across his lips practically begging for entrance. Deeks was only too happy to comply and he snapped his fingers and pointed at the door telling Monty it was time to leave. Luckily the grey scruffy looking dog took the hint and left the room causing Kensi to smile into their kiss.

"Do that to him before?" She asked as she lifted her head to stare deep into his deep blue eyes.

"Never brought him around any of the woman I've dated."Kensi could tell from the look in his eyes this was the truth and all his talk about using Monty to pick up chicks was just that, talk. Kensi pressed her lips back against his and deepened the kiss as she practically forced her tongue into his mouth and began to rub it alongside his.

Deeks was now completely awake and he moved one hand to the back of her head and tried to pull her face closer to him and his other hand drifted to just above her ass. As they continued their heavy make out session Deeks moved his hand from her back to her front and slowly slid it under the front of her shirt and let his hand rest on her toned stomach. He wanted this to go further but he wasn't going to pressure her if she didn't want to go where they were headed just yet, even though he hoped that this wasn't a dream. Reality gave him a welcomed slap in the face when Kensi sat up and quickly pulled her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor next to the bed and gently guided his hand up to cup one of her breast. The sensation sending goose bumps all over her skin and she moaned into the kiss as he started to gently massage the offered breast.

"Guys you might wanna see this." Eric said as he pressed a few buttons on his tablet bringing the plasma screen in the bullpen to life. "Just over an hour ago Eric Brockman's account was closed out and we can't trace where his money went to."

"What do you mean Eric?" Callen said as he swiftly stood up and grimaced as his ribs protested but pushed the pain aside and moved to stand in front of the bullpen's plasma.

"We mean that whoever did this is good, very very good." Nell said as she moved to stand beside Eric.

"Who the hell did this guy sell those weapons to?" Sam asked as a worried look furled his brow and he looked at his teammates.

"Eric pull up the list of stolen weapons again." Callen said as their case suddenly became a very big mystery. Callen stood there and reviewed the weapons, a couple crates of M4's a few M203's some Claymore mines. The only thing that really stuck out to Callen were the 203's but they weren't exactly heavy hardware for an arms deal. "This makes no sense. Brockman basically sold what a platoon of Marines consider a basic load out. Nothing he sold was worth getting killed over, even with a twenty percent markup."

"So then who did he sell too and what are they planning?" Sam said with a concerned look on his face

"Eric see if you can find anything that would be a likely terrorist attack. Go as far as 30 days from today. If these guys are this serious they are professionals and will be planning since they obviously have their weapons now." Callen said as he looked over to Nate. "Go see if Rose has those labs results yet and if not find out who you need to talk to so they get put at the front of the line." Callen received a nod from Nate who grabbed his coat and "go bag" and left the bullpen. "Sam, call Michelle and see if she can find anything out for us. Something like this has got to be on the CIA's radar by now."

"What about you G?"

"I'm going to call a few friends at the NSA see if they know anything." Callen turned to face Nell was was wating for her assignment. "Nell see if you can find out any more information on Brockman…infact get me everything you can on him. We'll sort of the intel from the BS later.

"Right." With that the members of the team scattered to do their assigned tasks. As Callen watched everyone scurry about he briefly considered calling Deeks in but he decided against it since their wasn't anything he could really do at the moment so he pulled his phone out and rang up one of his friends at the NSA who was a field operative.

Deeks flopped back onto the bed and was breathing heavily, sweat covering every inch of his body. He gave Kensi a weak but very happy smiled as she slowly rolled over to lay on the bed next to him and he was absolutely lost in her beauty at the moment. Sure he had been with some really pretty woman and had slept with some amazing woman but what had just taken place over the past hour with Kensi was the single most intense thing he had ever experienced in bed before. Kensi caught the look on his face and rolled over to look at him.

"What?"

"So this is what you look like when you're really hot and bothered.' He mused playfully and kissed her forehead. Kensi couldn't help but laugh at him and rolled her eyes before pressing her fist against his shoulder and gave it a light nudge. The two lovers pulled each close as Deeks pulled the bed sheets over them and they slowly drifted off to sleep


	10. Castle of Glass

**A/N: Ok I have to admit the Eric Brockman case came outta left field and now it's just become a part of the story so it will be a little longer between updates since I have to figure out where I'm going with that and how to work it in the story, damn creativity LOL.**

**The first scene of this chapter was probably the most difficult one to write form a creative stand point since like I said the Eric Brockman case was something that popped up and was never part of the original story line.**

Callen hung up his cellphone and was starting to get agitated at this point. No one at the NSA had any information on Eric Brockman that would even suggest that the man had been an Arms Dealer other than the sale that had led to his now apparent murder. Callen slid his phone into his back pocket and walked back into the old Spanish mission before climbing the stairs that would lead him to Ops to see what progress Nell and Eric had made. While he had complete confidence in the data mining abilities of the teams 'Wonder Twins' Callen was starting to suspect that someone was removing all digital evidence of Brockman's criminal past. When Callen walked into Ops he found Hetty and a tall Caucasian man with a shaved head and an eye patch over his left eye.

"Hello Callen." The subtle British accent said as Trent Kort turned around to face the man he had just addressed.

"Kort, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Mr. Kort has some information he believes that will be pertinent in regards to our case involving Eric Brockman." Hetty said as she moved to stand between Trent and Callen, effectively forming a triangle.

"Brockman is, or rather was, a small time arms dealer. Mostly selling stolen guns from the trunk of his car to various gang members up and down the pacific coast."

"Until he got his hands on 2 crates of M-4's a dozen M-203's a half dozen Claymore mines, still doesn't explain why the CIA sent you here Kort."

Trent pointed towards Eric before he started speaking. "While the CIA has no knowledge of how Brockman received these weapons we have reason to believe that the buyer was this man." Trent paused as a picture of a Middle Eastern man in full tactical gear appeared on the screen. "Meet Sibben-Al Hassan, a former Captain with Iran's Takavar."

"Former?"

"Four years ago his wife was killed in Syria while visiting her family when Israel launched a 'retaliatory' missile strike against what they believed was a Hezbollah recruiting and logistic center. Since then Hassan has been striking back at Israeli targets across the planet. He has no ties with Hezbollah since he holds them equally in blame with Israel, but it was an Israeli missile that killed his wife."

"And the CIA thinks his next target is in California?" Callen asked as he noticed how Trent seemed to look around the room taking in all the analysts and techs in the room.

"We need to clear the room except for only those who need to hear this." Trent said as he looked over to Hetty, who simply returned his stare for a few seconds before nodding at everyone except for Nell and Eric. Trent waited for then all to leave and the doors to Ops to secure themselves again. "In three weeks a delegation from Israel will land at LAX before they continue to Washington D.C. for a meeting with the President. Our analysts believe Hassan and these two men." Trent pause as Nell brought up two more pictures and put them beside Hassan's. "Mikhail Kerensky, a Czech Muslim radical and Sheamus Bragha, a former Irish member of Britain's S.A.S turned gun for hire and has worked with Hassan on multiple jobs in the past, will recruit and train a group of individuals before attempting to assassinate the delegation in an attempt to destabilize U.S. and Israeli relations."

"And let me guess, you can't find any of them?" Callen said as he glared at Kort. They two men had a history and it was not pleasant, in fact Kort had been the main factor Callen had left the CIA and joined NCIS.

"Correct."

"So what makes the CIA think that this is Hassan?"

"The pattern matches his moves in the past. Buy from a no name gun peddler who thinks he or she is moving up in the world, then kill them and retrieve the money and begin erasing all illegal activity of the victim. Same M.O. and same types of weapons, he has a preference to use the weapons of whatever country he is operating in at the time. My superiors at Langley want me to tell you both to stand down from this investigation, but we all know that won't happen so I'm offering a joint operation on the condition that both our agencies share any pertinent information in a timely manner."

Callen looked to Hetty for her reaction to this. While how the team handled investigations and 'soft cover' operations were his discretion situations like this relied on the approval of the Operations Manager, or in some case the Director of NCIS. When Hetty gave Callen a slight nod he turned his attention back to Trent Kort. "Ok we're in but the CIA better hold up their end of the bargain." Callen's voice had taken a hard edge to it since he knew from firsthand experience just how the CIA worked on so called 'joint operations', especially when Kort was involved.

Deeks was in a pair of his shorts that Kensi had brought from his apartment as he laid there between the back of the couch while Kensi only had on a pair on panties one of his button up shirts as the watched the TV. Neither of them were really watching it and were just enjoying being close to each other.

"Hey Kensi do you have anything planned tomorrow night?" Deeks voice was soft because of their proximity and Kensi had thought he might have fallen asleep.

"I thought some more of this might be a good idea." Kensi said as she gently pressed her back against Deeks chest and was enjoying the feeling of his arms around her torso and her hand in his large one. She had never noticed it before but they fit together so well that is was almost scary how easy it was being with him, but she was sure that had to do with the fact that they absolutely trusted each other.

"Do you want to go out. Like on a real date?"

Kensi rolled over in Deeks arms so that they were face to face and studied his eyes and could tell this was something he wanted to do. "That sounds nice Deek."

"Good cause I was hoping you would have wined and dined me before you." Deeks sentence was caught off by Kensi's finger being pressed to his lips.

"Finish that sentence and no more sex for you from me. Ever." Kensi said in a mock threat but schooling her features to make it seem like her threat was real. Truth be told Kensi was actually looking forward to the next time the two of them would have sex. It had been like Deeks knew exactly what she needed when she needed it. Sure she had been with a few guys who were good in bed but Deeks was at a completely different level. He seemed to care more about what her needs where more than his own. As Kensi briefly thought about their first time she couldn't help but blush.

"I hear you say that but then I see you start to blush and I know you don't really mean that Fern." Deeks teased as he kissed her on the forehead softly and he smiled at her. Kensi rolled her eyes at him and tried to snuggle a little closer into his chest and arms.

"Who would have that that Kenis Blye, ninja assassin extraordinaire. Was actually a big softy and a cuddler."

"Deeks?"

"Yeah."

"Shut up."

"Ok so maybe you're right in that the CIA can help us Hetty, but you don't know Trent Kort like I do. That man is a snake in the grass and will do whatever take to win, including stabbing his partners in the back."

"And that Mr. Callen is the very reason I recruited him for the CIA after his graduation from Oxford."

Callen had been standing with his back to Hetty trying to deal with how frustrated he had become since Kort had shown up and dropped this bombshell on the OSP Team. "You what?"

"Mr. Callen when I recruited Trent Kort for the CIA things were very different. It was during a changing of the guard, if you will. Technology was becoming more and more important in our line of work and the old ways and bribery and extortion, while still in use and effective, were not the only means one had available to obtain information." Hetty said calmly as she leveled a steady gaze at Callen, what was basically standing there with his mouth wide open. "While one can theorize that Kort can use his experience with the two of us to predict our next moves he does not have frist hand experience with any of the members of this office."

"Giving us the chance to be unpredictable." Callen said as realization of Hetty's plan started to dawn on him.

"And to beat that arrogant bastard at his own game." Hetty said as she put a hand on Callen's forearm. "Now Mr. Callen I suggest your team the rest of the day off and have everyone here Monday morning, while I try to convince the CIA to send over all information n Hassan and his associates."

"Hetty I know Kensi isn't cleared for active duty yet but I have a feeling we are going to need all hands on deck. I'll keep her on desk duty or have her give Deeks and Nate some weapons training."

"That seems like a wise course of action Mr. Callen. You may inform Miss Blye she can return to work on Monday and of her strictions." Hetty said as she turned to move towards her office when Callen stopped her again.

"Hetty. I…I need you to clear Deeks for full field duty. I know he's not one hundred percent yet but we are going to need his help. Nothing about this case suggests we will be doing any undercover work that will require a legend but you can't deny that Deeks is one hell of an investigator. Probably the best we have on the team and we are going to need him before this is over."

Hetty turned and fixed Callen with unreadable face as she studied him. "Are you asking because you feel the need to take care of your teammate Mr. Callen, or are you asking as a Team Leader you needs every asset available to him?"

Callen collect himself before he stood upstraight and met her unwavering gaze. "I need all my people for this one Hetty and we both know it."

"Very well Mr. Callen but if Detective Deeks shows any sign that he is not ready for full reinstatement I will bench him and turn this whole operation over to the CIA." With her conditions laid out Hetty turned around and continued on towards her office.

Callen turned around and headed back to the bullpen where Nate and Sam were working on their computers trying to use their contacts to run down any leads on Brockman, they still didn't know about the CIA's involvement in this case. Callen knew that before this was all said and done it was going to get ugly and people were going to die, some good and some bad. He had three weeks capture of kill Hassan and his men, if they weren't able to do that NCIS and the CIA were going to have face heavy resistance to protect and delegation of unknown Israelis from what was sure to be a well-planned assassination attempt. Everyone was going to have be on their A game.

"Whats up G?" Same said as he noticed the look on Callen's face.

"The CIA is involed in this case." Callen said and noticed the look that Sam and Nate shared. "Brockman was murder and it was because of who he sold to. I don't have enough information for a full briefing right now. Hetty is on the phone with Langley putting a rush job on them sending us all the information we need." Callen picked up his phone and dialed the extension for Ops. "Nell can you and Eric come down here please." Callen hung up the phone and leaned against his desk and waited for them.

"You wanted to see us?" Eric asked somewhat nervously.

"This is going to be a joint op between us and the CIA. This is going to be a long and trying case so before we begin everyone has the rest of the day off. We will all meet back here at seven a.m. Monday morning. Hetty has given Deeks full reinstatement but if he shows signs that he isn't fully ready she is going to bench him and hand this whole thing over to Langely, Kensi will also be back but on desk duty. I'm going to need you guys to keep an eye on both of them and let me know if you see anything I need to know about." Callen looked at each of them and could tell they were starting to grasp the gravity of this case. "Enjoy your weekend because this is going to be the last one we get for a long time." Everyone nodded their understanding and left one by one but Sam stayed behind since he was Callen's ride.

"G how bad is this gonna get?"

"I don't know Sam." The two men were walking side by side to Sam's Charger. Callen waited until they were inside before he spoke up so that there was no chance Hetty would over hear this conversation. "Sam Deeks and Kensi are involved."

"What? And you wanna bring them in back to work for whatever the hell this thing is we are working on?"

"Sam I need you to back me up on this ok? We both know that mixing personal relationships with our profession is never a good thing, but I honestly think that this is going to make them better." Callen said as he looked over at Sam. "Sam this is gonna get bloody and I need everyone we have available for this one. You can threaten Deeks after this is over."

"That bad?"

"I don't think we've ever face one this bad before."


	11. Wonderful Tonight

**A/N: As I said earlier updates will be slower as I work out how this whole Hassan situation is going to unfold. Again you guys who follow this story and leave reviews are absolutely awesome. Some of you I have talked to a couple times and have really been encouraging so on that note I want to especially thank the following people:**

**Jimmer**

**Tessinciucy**

**Seriously you two have really kept me motived to update this story as fast as I can work things out in my head. You should also totally check out Tessinciucy's stuff she has some really great Densi stories. When I'm not updating my story I'm telling her to hurry up and update her stuff LOL. Well here is another chapter for your reading pleasure and it's a juicy one. Enjoy**

Kensi was frantically going through her closest as she was trying to find something to wear for her first real date with Deeks in two hours. It's not that she was nervous about going out with Deeks, ok maybe she was a little, since they had spent countless hours together over the past 7 years and knew everything about each other, she just wanted their first real date to be perfect. After almost twenty minutes of trying to find an outfit Kensi finally settled on a very form fitting grey dress that only covered one shoulder and stopped at mid-thigh and a matching pair of high heels. As Kensi made her way to the bathroom to shower and get ready she silently cursed how easy men have it when it comes to getting dressed.

Deeks was in his apartment and was sweating like he had just run a marathon at a full sprint he was so nervous. He wanted to do everything to make this night absolutely perfect and he had made reservations at a pretty nice restaurant that also have a club behind it. Deeks had practically emptied out his closet and dressers looking for something to wear and now his bed room looked like Kensi's place before her accident and she had cleaned up out of boredom. Part of Deeks was also nervous to be around any form of alcohol and was afraid he would be tempted to drink. Since he had started to go to AA and was almost 3 months sober now he still refused to go anywhere alcohol was sold or served. He knew there would be wine at the restaurant and he wasn't sure if he was ready to be around any of it but he figured if he trusted Kensi with his life he could trust her to keep him calm and away from any uncomfortable situations.

Kensi was fully dressed and had applied her makeup as she was nervously pacing back and forth in her living room as she looked at the clock, 7:45 p.m. Kensi glared at the clock as if her irritation could suddenly make it read 8 p.m. which was when Deeks said he would pick her up for their first date. Kensi couldn't believe that she was acting like a high school going to the prom but the past few days with weeks were so great she was starting to worry when the other shoe would drop.

"No this is Deeks we are talking about here Kensi. He has been getting help and chose to get it on his own. He won't leave like Jack did…..great I'm talking to myself." Kensi was not used to feeling like this since she normally kept her emotions behind a wall of badass-ery and kickass-ness, something that she had become very good at after the death of her father and Jack leaving her. When the doorbell finally rang at five till eight Kensi struggled keep from running to answer it. The sight that greeted her caused her heart to skip a beat when she saw Deeks. He was wearing pair of black dress slacks and a red silk shit that fit his surfers build perfectly with the top two buttons undone and he had even combed his hair. Kensi knew she was staring at him but she couldn't help it. Sure Deeks had been dressed up before but that was for an Op and Hetty had always put the outfit together for him.

Deeks stood there and he felt his heart skip a beat when Kensi had opened the door. She wore her hair down and over her left shoulder hiding the still somewhat visible scar and short hair from her head injury but she looked absolutely amazing. He noticed she was wearing a light grey dress that left her right shoulder completely exposed but he couldn't take his eyes off her face and a lopsided grin made its presence known on his face as he took in the beauty that is Kensi Blye.

"Hey." Deeks wanted to slap his forehead with how stupid his comment was but right now it felt like that was the only word he could remember.

"Hey." Kensi replied shyly and nervously tucked a few strands of hair behind her left ear.

"You look…"Two partners turned lovers had started to talk at the same time and let out a nervous laugh at the same time when the realised what had just happened.

"You look absolutely stunning Kensi."

"Thank you." Kensi said as she tried like make to keep from blushing like a school girl with her first crush. "You look really handsome tonight Deeks." Kensi said as she stepped forward and gave him a small kiss on the cheek and wrapped her hand around his and closed her door behind her. "Maybe we should go before we stand here staring at each other all night…Not that I don't mind the view" Kensi said with a smile

"I would be ok with that."

"Yeah but you're the one who asked me on a date remember. Come on Shaggy before we miss our reservation. I might even give you a Scooby Snack if you behave."

"Zoinks!" Deeks said in his best Shaggy impersonation, which was pretty dead on and Kensi laughed one of her real half snort laughs and Deeks couldn't help but smiled brightly at her before leading the two of them to the car.

The ride to the restaurant had been a pleasant and enjoyable ride as the two love birds held hands and talked casually about nothing in particular. When the pulled up to the restaurant Deeks scrabbled out and hurried to open the door for Kensi. Normally she would have scoffed at the idea that she needed him to open the car door for her but he was doing his best to be the perfect gentleman for her and she found it endearing instead of insulting. When Kensi exited the Camero she felt her heart skip a beat again when she realized that Deeks had a reservation for them at The Palm. A restaurant that was arguably the single most famous steakhouse in Los Angeles and she couldn't help but look at him with her mouth slightly open as he offered his left forearm to her.

"How on earth did you manage this?"

"I called in a favor with the owner." Deeks said as if it was no big deal and softyl kissed her cheek as she wrapped her arm around his and he led them into the restaurant. The owner of The Palm met them at the door and personally escorted them to a table specially set aside for them.

"Now if there is anything either of you need please feel free to ask. It's not every day I get a chance to repay the man who saved my son." The owner said as he waved a man who was obviously the manager over. "Alex here will personally see to you to night so please enjoy." The owner said in the friendliest manner possible and made the two NCIS operatives feel as if they were all old friends.

It had been the single most amazing date Kensi had been only, of course the manager had listed off the wines they had and when Deeks stiffened Kensi softyl reached out to him and they softly held hands as Kensi politely told the waiter that water would be fine for the two of them. Other than that mild hiccup everything had been perfect. Kensi had always considered herself 'one fo the guys' and as such she enjoyed a good steak as much as the next person but the New York Strip she had ordered was the single most amazing thing she had ever tasted and she had to remind herself where she was so she didn't react the way she would have at home or anywhere else. As the diner progressed the two of them had maintained some form of physical contact either with their ankles touching or holding hands on top of the table in between the different courses of their dinner.

When they two of them left the owner once again appeared and shook hands with Deeks and told him how his son was doing now and that if they ever wanted a table any other time they would only need call and he would arrange it for them. Deeks graciously thanked the man before escorting Kensi outside opening doors for her and once again offering her his arm.

Sibben Al-Hassan stood in the shadows cast by one of the many rather large warehouses along Los Angeles Port. He had done extensive reconnaissance of the area and knew where ever security camera, their rotation times and how and where to move to keep his face off camera. Hassan knew that Israel , and by extension the United States, were actively searching for him and would love to get their hands on him. But Hassan was a patient man. He had waited four years for a chance to strike deep at the heart of Mossad , and in three weeks time he would have just that chance. Orli Elbaz along with several other top Israeli officials would be in L.A. for a short window before they continued on towards Washington D.C.

He waited patiently smoking a cigarette as he watched a cargo ship from South Africa was unloading its many 53' cargo containers that would soon be scattered across the country. Hassen's interest in the containers was purely passing, his real interest lay in the group of ten men that were casually making their way to him in small groups or individually. When Hassan spotted the white face of Sheamus Bragha he allowed himself a small smile.

"Salâm my friend. There were no problems I trust?"

"Salâm." The Irish Catholic said as he clasped hands with Hassan. Sheamus really didn't care one way or the other Hassan's deep rooted hatred for Israel. As long as Hassan kept lining his pockets with money and didn't try to stab him the back the former S.A.S. member considered Hassan a 'friend'. "No real problems but I think our friends here don't like havin a godless white heathenistic infidel around. But we worked it out." Sheamus point back behind him to the group of SAVAK and Takavar members behind him. It was then that Hassan noticed more then a few of them sported various bruises and swollen lips.

"Good. We will all need to be friends for this job. Mikhail and his team will be here in two days time." Hassan said as he put out the cigarette on the side of the building before putting the butt in his pocket. Just because he had been careful to avoid the cameras did not mean that he was going to carelessly leave something for the CIA or any other agency to identify him via DNA testing. He was already taking a huge risk by using Iranian Intelligence and Special Forces but this job was too big to trust to randomly recruit any Americans that considered themselves 'devoted to Islam'.

**A/N: WARNING! What follows next is without a doubt mature content. I'm not going to be flat out nasty explicit but you are most definetly not going to need much of an imagination for what is going on…heres hoping I don't get in trouble with admins and mods LOL**

Deeks walked beside Kensi from the car to the front door of her house and he was having a VERY hard time not staring at her body. Not that he had to imagine what she looked like without and clothes on as he had made damn sure he memorized every inche of her body during the first time they had sex, no correction made love. He knew were every scar she had accumulated during her career with NCIS was and in a strange way they added to her natural beauty.

"Deeks thank you for tonight. It was amazing and I've never had a first date like that before." Kensi said as they stood infront of her door and she smiled at him.

"Your welcome Fern." Deeks said as he smiled at her and leaned in to give her a small soft kiss on the lips. As he was about to lean back Kensi wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

The blonde haired detective responded in kind by wrapping his strong arms around the back of her shoulders and small of her back and gently pulled her against him. Kensi felt her stomach tighten and she moved one of her hands to his cheek and pressed her lips harder against his. She knew she was having the effect she wanted on him when she suddenly found her back against the door. Maintaining the intensity of their kiss Kensi was able to pull her keys from her clutch and expertly slipped them into the door knob and unlocked the door allowing the two of them to continue their rapidly heating up make out session in privacy. Kensi pulled back from Deeks as he used his foot to close the door behind them.

"Lock up loverboy and come find me." She said with a look in her eyes that could only be described as hunger and longing. Deeks smiled at her and kissed her forehead softly as he turned around to lock the door, as he turned back to face her Deeks couldn't help that Kensi was most definetly putting some extra swing in her hips as she walked to the bed room and he slowly followed her as he enjoyed the view.

Kensi stood infront of her dresser and had just finished taking out her earrings when she felt one of Deeks hands on her stomach and the other slowly ran over her breasts before resting softly on her check as he leaned down and kissed her neck just under her ear and she instantly had goose bumps all over her skin. With her back firmly against his chest Kensi was only able to turn her head to the side in an almost desperate move to kiss his lips. As they kissed she intertwined her fingers with his hand on her stomach and reached the other behind his head to pull him deeper into their kiss. After a few moments she turned in his arms and smiled at him as she stepped back from him, her calves no against the foot of her bed as she stepped out of her high heels. Kensi kept a soft expression on her face and held Deeks gaze as she slowly pushed her dress over her left shoulder and started to slowly pull her dress down in a very teasing manner.

The power she had over him right now was simply intoxicating to Deeks and caused him to lose the ability to form a single rational thought at the moment. He knew she could see what she was doing as a playful smile graced her amazing features.

"Can I get a little help?" She teased him and moved closer to him now that her dress was halfway covering her breast.

For the second time that night Deeks found himself unable to speak, luckily he hadn't lost the ability to move as he placed his hands on her hips and softly where her neck ran into her shoulders and slowly pulled down her dress, crouching and sporadically kissing her amazing body as he did so, never once breaking eye contact with her. Soon Kensi was standing there before him in only a pair of black silk lingerie she had chosen specially for tonight.

When Deeks stood back up to face her she slowly reached out and softly untucked his shirt before she started to softly kiss him and unbutton his shirt. As she broke the kiss Kensi ran her hands up his well-toned torso and pushed his shirt over the top of his right shoulder and kissed the front of it. She then moved to his left shoulder and repeated the process, only this time she kissed the scar from a bullet he had taken that was used to draw her out in the open for a assassination attempt. With his shirt now on the floor near her dress Deeks stepped back from Kensi and kicked off his shoes and undid his pants and belt before slowly pushing them down his tanned legs, still keeping his eyes locked on hers. The people who were so deeply inlove with each other stood there and moved closer together so that they were almost touching each other.

"I love you Kensi."

"I love you Marty."

The two of them embraced in a passionate kiss, their bodies acting as if they were starving for the physical content and soon they both stood their void of all garments. Deeks slowly lowered them onto the bed his fingertips moving in a loving manner across her skin. He moved his kiss from her lips to her neck and began to leave a trail of feather light kisses down her body and soon Kensi gasped in blissful pleaser as she arched her back and moved a hand down to curl itself in his now uncombed golden locks and her eyes seemed to close on their own.

"Deeks." Kensi voice was barely more than a whisper as she found herself lost in the moment as her partner once again was putting the needs of her body before his own. After several extremely enjoyable minutes She felt the bed shift as Deeks moved so that he was face to face with her.

"Kensi, open your eyes." Deeks voice was soft yet commanding and she complied as she felt his thighs against the inside of hers and she shifted to accommodate him and she couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her lips as the slowly and lovingly became one.

**A/N: And I'm gonna stop there instead of pushing my luck. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. **


	12. Be Like That

Deeks stood there staring out the large window that looked out over the backyard of Kensi's house with his right forearm resting against the top of the window frame as he forehed rested lightly against the back of his hand. The sun was starting to slowly lighten Los Angeles but Deeks had been awake for the past four hours. He was standing there in his dress pants from the previous night and even thought he was less than twenty feet from the sleeping woman he was in love with, Deeks was in a whole other world. He loved Kensi more then had loved any other human being in the world and it scared him.

Deeks was scared because during the course of his career in law enforcement he had always been able to cheat death, and he knew Kensi had been able to do the same. He had either been lucky or his natural instincts had saved him, whereas Kensi had her training. But now that he was in so deep with her the thought of something happening to her scared his to the very core of his being. His mind replayed every time he thought she had been killed right in front of him over and over and he couldn't stop it. What made it even worse was the fact this last time it had been an accident that left her in a coma. He knew, along with anyone that ever wore a badge, that death was probably going to come before retirement but now that he had someone that wanted him to come home safe every night he was wondering if it was time to change professions. But he knew he could never abandon Kensi like that, sure he trusted Sam and Callen completely but Hetty would be forced to bring in a new agent to work as Kensi's partner. Someone he didn't know or trust. So he would stay at NCIS and back up Kensi like he had for the past seven years until one or both them were killed.

Kensi and Deeks shared a bond that he had never told her about before. They had both lost a partner before, but in Deeks case he had lost three of them in the line of duty. That was his cross the bear alone, and the reason he had such a bad "reputation' at the LAPD and why no one wanted to work with him. How does the old saying go? Once is happenstance, twice is circumstance, three times is a pattern. The first partner he had lost was his Training Officer when he was still a 'boot' straight out of the academy. Deeks and Sgt. Jackson had walked into an ambush. Deeks had taken a round in the vest and one in the calf while Jackson had been shot in the head. Two years later Deeks second partner, Alice Carter, had been killed when her cover had been blown. Her death hurt the most because she left behind a husband and two year old girl. That was when Deeks bad reputation of getting his partners killed started. The last partner that had been killed was another detective that had been given a lethal amount of Heroin.

Kensi woke as the sun started to spill through the curtains in her room and she noticed that her bed was missing her partner. A quick look around the room revealed all of Deeks clothes minus his pants so she knew he hadn't left without saying good bye to her. She slowly stood up and her muscles slightly protested after the rather long and intense session her and Deeks had last night. The brunette NCIS agent retrieved her panties from last night and slipped into them and grabbed a simple black t-shirt from her dresser and pulled it over her head before exiting her bedroom. After a quick check of the front of the house Kensi turned to look in the back and smiled to herself when she saw the shirtless back of Deeks, but her smile slowly turned to a frown. She could tell from his posture and how tight the muscles in his back looked he had been in his current position for a while and something was bothering him.

"Deeks?" He voice was soft and calm not wanting to startle him. When he didn't respond she started to get a little worried and took a few steps forwards, making sure they were heavy and loud.

"Marty are you ok?" She asked louder this time and again received no slowly snaked her arms around him and felt him slightly flinch but she kept moving slowly and pressed her chest against his back and rest her chin on his shoulder.

"Sorry just woke up and couldn't sleep." He offered as he looked at her form the corner of his eyes and smiled at her. "Did I wake you up?" He asked not sure if he had made some noise when he was lost in his own thoughts.

"No." She said softly and gave his upper torso a gentle squeeze. "Marty are you ok? I said your name twice and you didn't snap out of it until I touched you." Kensi tried to give him her own charming smile but she was still worried about him.

"I…I was just thinking about some stuff." Deeks said as he turned in her arms so that they were facing each other and he leaned against the window and put his hands on her hips.

"You know you can always tell me Marty." Kensi stood on her toes and softly kissed his lips. "Whenever you want to." She said and smiled at him. She knew it was best to let him tell her things he was dealing with at his own pace and not push him.

"I will." He said and he returned her smile. "I promise. Since we are both up how about I make up some pancakes then I need to go check on Monty." Deeks easily slipped back into his old self and for a second Kensi wondered if he was ok of if his experience in undercover work allowed him to hide what was wrong.

"Sounds like a plan." She said as she gave him a quick kiss then slipped out of his arms and made her way to the bathroom. A sudden thought occurred to Kensi and she looked over her shoulder to see that Deeks was watching her. "I might need help washing my back." She cooed seductively at him and slowly pulled the t-shirt over her head and let it fall to the floor and put a little extra shake in her hips. Kensi couldn't help the triumphant grin that graced her face as she heard him groan softly before walking after her.

**A/N: ****Sorry for the short chapter but I just haven't had any motivation to write and am struggling to think how I am going to move this story forward. I can either have training and fluff/lemon stuff for three weeks on content of the story or just jump right to the assassination attempt and move the story forward. But I know this has been the longest between updates and I felt I owed it to you guys to at least get a chapter out.**


	13. Killing In The Name

**A/N: So first off I apologize for the long time between updates. I had written three chapters in a row BUT I wasn't happy with them since it was basically covering three weeks of the team training for this storyline and a couple cute little Densi moments but in all reality you can only re-word training scenarios so many times and it was basically three chapters of the same thing over and over so I scrapped them and just decided to do a time jump. Hope you enjoy.**

**ALSO! I have a poll up because a interesting idea for this story popped in my head so please go vote on it under my profile. I won't clarify what "Plan B" is but it will completely catch you off guard and will completely change the dynamic of this story and the sequel I have in mind.**

**Los Angeles International Airport**

The small privately owned airplane hangar was bustling with activity as a combined task force of NCIS Agents, CIA Operatives and a platoon of Navy SEALS were preparing their equipment for the up coming Op. Near the middle of the hanger a large table was covered in maps, pictures and various of documents while a team of technology officers and intelligence analysts finished connecting communications gear, computers, monitors and one large plasma screen together.

On the outside this particular hanger looked like any other hanger at LAX that belonged to a private company. Of course this particular company was a dummy corporation run by the CIA that gave them unlimited access to the airfield as well as a staging area for operatives before departing from the west coast to various missions across the globe.

As the members of the assault team were prepping their gear the five agents from the NCIS OSP were doing a few last minute gear adjustment. Being the most experience with situations such as these Sam and Callen were very calm and collected while Deeks and Nate were noticeably most nervous than their counter parts. Kensi in the meantime was meticulously cleaning her father's sniper rifle. While not fully cleared for active field work Kensi had practically begged and bothered Hetty every day until the diminutive Operations Manager had agreed to put Kensi on sniper duty for this operation.

"Deeks." Kensi calmly called out to her boyfriend and partner as she slid the bolt of the Remington 700PSS before she gently picked up the Leupold Mark 4 Scope and began to softly clean both lenses.

"Yes Kensi?"

"You're fidgeting again." She playfully chided him and let a small smile play over her features. While outwardly the teams sniper appeared calm and collected inside she was a raging storm of emotions, chief among those was worry for not only for her team but for the man she had fallen in love with.

"Well we all can't be super hero ninja assassins like you are Wonder Woman." He teased thankful that she was giving him something other than his nerves to focus on. Sam and Callen shared a grin and soon joined in the good natured banter and everyone was soon light heartedly picking on each other to help ease the tension around them. As the group of OSP Agents were helping each other remain calm Hetty along with Eric, Nell and Deputy Director Granger approached the group.

"Gentleman and Miss. Blye. If you would join us at the table for the briefing we will begin shortly." Hetty calmly said politely as she smiled softly at her field agents before turning around and making her way to the table, where she joined Trent Kort and a Lieutenant Jackson, a platoon commander from SEAL Team Five, and a few other support personnel. Hetty had specifically requested Lt. Jackson since he, along with a few other members of the SEAL platoon had served with Sam during his time with the elite special forces unit as Sam had spoken highly of the man and his former teammates.

As the NCIS Agents, along with a small handpicked team from the OSP Tactical Response Team moved to the table, the CIA Operatives stood directly across from them while the SEALS seemed to move into the middle standing closer to the NCIS group then the spooks from the CIA. This of course caused Sam to grin and he nodded to a few of the SEALS he had served with.

"Still don't like the CIA and their spooks huh Reaper?" Sam teased the platoon's sniper who looked back at the NCIS Agent with an emotionless face.

"Well I'd rather stand next to you…even if you did go all dark side on us Hannah." Reaper replied in a deadpan voice. Deeks moved a little closer to the SEAL Sniper and nodded his head at the man.

"Hey I was just wondering, do they call you Reaper because you're such a good sniper?"

"Nope." The man said flatly as he shifted his gaze to the nosey blonde.

"We call him that because he has such a great sense of humor." Another one of the SEALS added and a few of the men shared a chuckle as Deeks looked between them and Sam trying to figure out if they were being serious or pulling his leg.

Kensi half scowled as she reached over and grabbed Deeks ear and pulled him back into the group of NCIS agents. This of course caused the SEALS too lightly at the pairs antics and seemed to finally break all the tension in the air before Granger spoke up.

"Alright that's enough. The CIA has intel that indicates this man." Granger slid a picture into the middle of the table and tapped his knuckle on the man's face. "Sibben Al-Hassan, a former Captain in Iran's Takavar has smuggled two known associates of his into the country." Granger paused as he moved two more pictures into the center of the table. "Mikhail Kerensky and Sheamus Bragha, Kerensky is a Czech radical and Bragha is former S.A.S. Al-Hassan has also brought in what we believe to be a platoon size team of operatives from both Takavar and SAVAK. As some of you know the SAVAK is basically Iran's version of the German SS from World War II."

Granger paused a few muttered remarks and curse spread between the gathered Operatives. Once the remarks had died down Granger ignore Trent Kort and focus his attention on Hetty and nodded at her to continue.

"At 12:30 a plane containing members of a delegation from Israel will be landing at LAX to change plans on the tarmac before continuing to Washington D.C. we believe that the members of the delegation are the intended target of Al-Hassan and his team."

"Ma'am. Do we know if a specific member is the target or just all of them in general?" One of the SEALS asked as he looked at the pictures of the three men previously mentioned.

"Unfortunately no we don't. Mossad has been rather uncooperative in telling us who the delegation members are." Hetty replied calmy as she fixed the SEALS and her own agents with a steady gaze.

"So much for inter-agency cooperation." Sam remarked softly as he looked at Callen.

"Al-Hassan has a personal agenda against Israel and has been attack targets of various nature that are considered important by both Mossad and the Israeli government." Trent Kiort quickly interjected before he could be 'pushed aside' by Hetty or Granger. "The Agency is still unclear on the how or why Iranian Special Forces and Secret Police are involved in this case. What we are clear on is that if Al-Hassan and his team succeed they could very well destabilize Israeli and U.S. relations permanently."

"Operational control of this mission will be handled by myself and Miss Lange." Granger spoke up taking control of the briefing back from Kort and by extension the CIA. While Granger and Hetty regularly butted heads he was not about to let the CIA screw things up or take the credit for this operation. Especially since the CIA had no legal jurisdiction to operate within the United States. "Lt. Jackson be in charge of the SEALS and the team from the CIA." Granger but emphasis on the last part of his sentence and threw a challenging glare at Kort who ignored the remark. "Agent Callen will be in charge of the team from NCIS. Mr. Beale and Miss Jones will be the operations communications officers for this mission. Lt. Jackson the rest is yours." Granger and everyone that would not be part fo the protection detail and what was sure to be a firefight walked from the briefing table to the command and control station that had been set up.

"Alright listen up." Jackson spoke with a tone that immediately changed the setting of the briefing. "Teams one and two will be augmented by the boys from Langley. Your primary directive is to secure the delegation and escort them to this building here." Jackson paused as he pointed to an obscure hanger on the northeast edge of the airfield. "A team of NCIS Agents are in place disguised as aircraft maintence and report that the building is secure." Jackson looked at his two team leaders who nodded that they understood their mission. "Reaper, you're on over watch."

"Copy that." Reaper said as he looked at the map of the airport and then tapped a building to the south of their current position. "I'll set up here should give me good cover of the area."

"Kensi?" Callen asked the teams sniper as she looked at the location Reaper had designated as his hide.

"I'll set up here. Gives me a good area to cover and over laps our fields of fire." Kensi said as she tapped the south east corner of the airport itself and would allow her to cover teams one and two as they moved the delegation to the secured location. She looked at Reaper to get a read on his thoughts and she kept a smile from her face as she noticed the slight nod he gave her. "Did you boys bring a sniper too?" Kensi asked in a sweet and condescending tone as she looked at the group of CIA Operatives. This of course caused everyone from NCIS to grin at her antics and the SEALS let out a few small chuckles, even Lt. Jackson had to smile as the female sniper talked down to the group of spooks.

"Yeah." One voice replied defensively. "I'll set up on top of the safe sight. Just make sure you know how to use that gun girlie." The man snidely shot his remark at Kensi.

"Alright you have your assignments. The plane will touch down in two hours." Lt. Jackson said as he sent a glare at the group from the CIA for a few seconds before he turned to look at Callen. "Agent Callen do you have anything to add?"

Callen stepped forward to stand beside the SEAL Team Commander. "If you see any of these three men let us know and then move to intercept." Callen shifted his gaze to the group from the CIA before speaking again. "This is going to be done by the book. No one is the deviate from the plan at any time. When the plane lands teams one and two will move into postion with armored SUV's to collect and transport the delegation. Mossad has assured us that they delegation knows we are going to provide security for them so expect minimal resistance from them."

Callen pointed at a small utility shed in the middle of the airfield. "Myself, Agent Hannah and Lt. Jackson along with team three will be here. Agents Deeks and Getz will be here with team four." Callen said as he indicated a small workshop that was roughly 600 meters to the east of his own position.

"Where do you want us at Agent Callen?" One of the members of the NCIS TRT spoke up.

"Tactical will be on standby with SUV to provide support to where ever needed. Protecting the delegation is our primary objective. Al-Hassan and the rest our secondary, capture them if possible but if any of them pose a threat to you our anyone else from this operation lethal force is authorized." Callen said as he looked up from the map to everyone gathered. "Any questions?"

"What about the civilians in the airport with cellphones and cameras?" One of the SEALS asked

"Measures have been taken to ensure that cellphones will be inoperable once the Israeli's plane lands. Hopefully this will disrupt Al-Hassan's communication abilities as well." Callen calmly replied since he knew Eric would be working his magic to protect the secrecy of this operation as well as the identities of those involved.

"And the cameras?" The same SEAL seemed to determine to get an answer and Callen had to smile.

"LAX is far too big to have complete control of the situation but if you're worried about your picture making the evening news feel free to wear a mask." He half joked with the man

"Hell Jacobs your ugly enough you should wear a mask all the time." Another of the SEALS chimed in.

"You all have your assignments. Individual duties will be tasked out by your Team Leaders." Lt. Jackson said ending the briefing. As everyone went their separate ways Kensi was headed to talk to Deeks for a little bit when the SEAL known as REAPER walked up to her.

"Agent Blye do you have a second?"

"Uh.." Kensi looked at Deeks who nodded at her and moved over to find out exactly which SEALS would be with him and Nate. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you before things get hectic."

"About what?"

"Staff Sergeant Donald Blye, your father."


	14. ON HIATUS

**A/N: Sorry to disappoint you but no more updates for this story. Its not that I don't want to its just that I'm not really happy with how it has turned. Plus my other story 'Requiem For an Agent' has become my personal favorite at the moment and is getting pretty much all of my attention before college starts up for me in a couple of weeks.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and follows of this story and again sorry to disappoint you.**


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