Once and Again what would i know?

I own nothing! j/k pairing!

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i miss her so much. she truly was my every thing though i knew her only a short time and was with her less. i always loved her in my heart i knew this was true. but as a teenager she was confused in how she felt. i knew though. i knew because of her kiss, because of her eyes the way they would light up when i would make a stupid joke. or the way i would catch her looking at me and ask her what and she would never reply except a simple smile that told me everything. i knew because when we touched and i looked into those bright blue eyes i saw an eternity, i saw love. but...when you truly cant be with the one u love over everyone else, you go looking elsewhere .and never find substance. you NEVER find love,and you are never happy. these are things and lessons i learned far after i probably should have. things that would have made a difference to both me and my whole world Jessica Sammler. if we only have knew them then.

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10 short years ago when i was in high school i fell in love. i fell so hard for a girl who surley would never give me the time of day. but then to my amazement she did she became my best friend. my girlfriend. my world. my life. and i am still to this day empty with out her. she made my world go around she made me feel things i never felt before. god i miss her. i mean when i look at this poem i wrote for her it will shows me how i felt.i keep in mind i was 15.

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although the sun may shine on some days...its when the rain falls i feel safe and warm..because i sit in your magnificent light..you are the one thing in my life i am certian about...weather you you are my friend or my love...i know you will allways be there...i hope u feel the same way.i would never hurt you or leave you alone...i will be by your side through thick and thin... even if i cant be there in person..you are allways on my mind and in my heart...i want to constantly make you happy and smile..because i love your smile and the way it lights up your eyes...i love the way u dance ...i love the light you resinate...i cant wait to be with you...i will give you every thing i can...I LOVE YOU!

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i felt that all. my god Jessie was the only one who could make me feel that way still to this day.

i look out the window, im in London i remember the day we skipped school and Jessie said that if i was in London and she was else where i could come visit. i wish that still held true

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midnight another day where every thing is good. every thing except my heart. my soul. they are empty and somewhere else someone i knew 10 years ago still has them.

thinking to self Jessie looks off into the distance

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i remember early mornings lying next to u.

as u would awake, u would set your hazel eyes apon me as if u were thankful i didn't leave. i miss those mornings.and i miss the late nights. i miss everything about you. where have you gone?.. i miss the times i used to kiss you and the times you'd kiss me too... the times we would kiss in the rain , or in secret in the house. i miss the times we would say i love you to eachother tho now i wonder if u meant it. i still miss everything about u. i miss the nights out on the deck when we would lay out there for no reason... i still miss you.. i still love you.. you were my everything ... where did you go?... who is this person u left in your place. i do not know her i do not like her she isn't you... i miss you... i miss me because i am an empty shell with out u .. but most of all i miss us!

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i cant believe she still captures my thoughts Kathryn Singer...Katie...my Katie...my Billie and i was hers. i wish i was still hers.

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i have to get packing i have a conference tomorrow as an up and coming doctor i have to go to these things. i love my job i am an pediatrician. i love working with kids they are so brutally honest. like the one day i came in i had a long night. i went out with this guy, yes a guy Katie was the only girl i will ever love so i never tried. and i only dated the guys to keep my family happy and knowing fully i wouldn't ever get attracted or attached. well i had a long night because he was a jerk and All i could think of all night was Katie. i went into work and a little girl about 5 yrs old her name was leslie, said you look like you lost your best friend dr. Sammler. i said that i had and she ran over to hug me. adults are never that preceptive they are too caught up in their own world.

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so i packed. i was off to London. ahh London i remember Katie allways wanted to move there i wonder if she had. just then i thought maybe i would see her , and i noticed my heart get light and a smile cross my face. then i remembered how big London was and that she didn't know i was coming.

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tomorrow i had to go set up an hotel for some conference and doctors benefit i believe. they wanted my creative eye i agreed to go because it wasn't far from my loft. Jessie wanted to become a doctor she was so amazingly kind she would have made a great doctor, and what a bed side manner i thought to my self and laughed.

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so i got my portfolio ready and went to bed.

6 am i am on the plane to London.

7 am off to the hotel the conference starts at 9. i grabbed my portfolio and headed out the door with a donut in my mouth.

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i walked in the doors of the hotel i was early it was 8:30 there was a banner being hung up by a woman on a ladder it said welcome doctors. i looked at the woman she seemed as if she was struggling. she had light brown hair tied back into a tight bun with two small pieces hanging in her face from what i could see from behind. she had slimming curves showed off by her pinstripe pants and her black shit. an amazing body. my heart was racing. i asked her

"do you need help?"

"yes if you would like to" she said turning and as she did i noticed , those eyes those warm amazing eyes pools of green and gray, and sensual lips, i couldn't move.

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i heard a voice asking me if i need help i turned to thank the person and when i looked down i was looking into crystal azure eyes. those eyes could make me melt. and those seductive lips that just called for me to kiss her and that body accentuated by the tight cashmire purple sweater. a sweater i knew well for i had given it to her. this girl was my Jessie...MY Jessie, she had come back to me a stunning beauty in blue jeans.

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"hi"

"eh hey" i said then fell off the ladder (way to go Singer look like a doofus much?)

"oh my god , Billie! are you okay?"

(Billie wow i remember when we started calling eachother that she could sing Billie Holliday flawlessly, she could sing any thing flawlessly)

"yes jess i am" i said she laughed and helped me up

then standing we looked eachother over we were both in amazement to see eachother

"you have powdered sugar on her face" Jessie said to me

"oh i was eating a powdered donut before i came"

"figures" she said laughing god i missed her laugh.

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Jessie leaned in toward Katie put her hand up touched the spot on her face and wiped off the sugar. their touch was electric and made them both feel faint and spectacular at the same time.

"did u get it all?" i asked she leaned in farther and said "let me check"

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Jessie put her hand against Katie's soft skin and brought her hand around till she had her thumb on Katie's chin with her fingers curled under and both girls leaned in as their lips met and their passions of desire took over that have been plaguing them for 10 years, the softness of the girls lips melted into eachother and their mouths opened at the same time as if that were planed ahead as one tongue slipped apon another. they moaned they held eachother close as if they had not ever left eachother side in the past.

Katie opened her eyes and pulled Jessie closer using her belt loops and as their hips connected the women grinded against eachother and and their chests met they felt warm and secure Katie ran her hands around Jessie's curves and Jessie put her on hand on Katie's neck and then she kissed her neck. then they both pulled away from the embrace they were dying for this they missed eachother so.

they forgot all about the bad times and they just melted into eachothers eyes. they agreed to meet after the conference.

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after the conference:

"hey you"

"hey yourself"

the women said as they kissed.

they went for coffee and talked allot over they sat in that shop for 4 hours ordering espressos and muffins.

after which Katie invited Jessie to her loft

Katie's loft:

"god Jessie i missed you"

"i missed you too"

they passionately both leaned in and kissed

"this is a great place"

"thankyou, it means so much coming from you"

"i wouldn't mind having a place like this"

"you can"

both women smile

Katie grabs Jessie hand and shows her the whole loft

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Jessie turns toward Katie and the women catch eachothers eyes deep with love they stare into eachothers souls their hearts beating wildly as they begin to kiss. "i love you" "i love you too" was whispered

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Katie pulls Jessie closer Jessie in turn pulls Katie they are so close now nothing could pull them apart and that is exactly the way they want it. they start to slowly caress eachother. as Jessie reaches infront of her and puts her palm against Katie's stomach and with fingers pointed own moves her hand to the edge of Katie's pants. as Jessie hand enters Katie's pants all the farther Katie moans and Jessie pulls her closer and they make their way back to the bed. shirts come of as do other articles of clothing and soft hands gently caress warm bodies. they laid there on Katie's bed submitting them selves fully to eachother. in a passionate and loving manor knowing that they were all the other has ever wanted since the day they met 10 long years ago.

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who am i you may ask and why do i know all this because my dear. the two women before mentioned are my sisters. my name is Grace. Jessie is my step sister and Katie now her wife. i love them both dearly and Jessie is pregnant with their second child Katie carried the first. artificial insemination i don't fully under stand it but that doesn't make my nieces any less of nieces.

they are on their way over now for her baby shower.

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"hi Grace" the women said in unison

"Katie, hi Jess" i said kissing them both on the cheeks before taking niece into my arms

"Karen"

"hewwo aunt Gwace" she was so cute Jessie and Katie named her for Jessie's mom which we lost not too long ago.

thankfully all is well their lives now and both are happy. and couldn't be happier for them.


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