Beverly Hills 90210 1. Chapter 1

Brenda smiled as she watched the snow falling silently from the dark afternoon sky and slowly covering the streets of London. Soon the sounds of the city would be muffled by the snow and that special light that came with snow covered streets would light up the whole city. She knew that right now there were thousands of people cursing the snow but she didn't care because the loud excited squeals of her 8 months old daughter made it clear that she wasn't alone in loving the snow. Brenda pressed her lips against the baby's thick black hair.

"I know sweetie its pretty isn't it" the little girl flapped her arms in responds to her mother's question.

The two them had only been back in London for two months and to some extent they were still settling in. The only room in their apartment that was completely decorated was Mollie's, but to be fair she didn't spend a lot of time in there. Brenda still felt more comfortable having her in the bedroom with her.  
>They had spend their first months together in Beverly Hills but Brenda had soon come to realize that it was no longer her home. No matter how hard she tried to settle back down in Beverly Hills, London was her home.<p>

Of course her parents had objected to the idea questioning the logic in bringing up a child alone in a foreign country completely ignoring that London and England wasn't foreign to her it was home. They had argued that they were returning to the states and therefore they would be able to help her wherever she needed it. But the thought of them weighing in and having an opinion on her every single decision was more that she could handle.

Brenda loved her parents very much and they had managed bridged the gap that had been developing since her teen years and she didn't doubt for a second they had the best intentions at heart but between the three of them they had very different opinions on what that was.

Brenda smiled as Mollie slammed her chuppy little palm against the widow the little girl pulled her hand back only to repeat the movement. Brenda turned the baby in her arms and balanced her on her hip.

"You can't touch it from in here but how about the two of us go to the park tomorrow and play in the snow?"

Mollie stared at her mother but almost immediately began to wiggle indicating she wanted to get down.

Brenda shook her head "okay I get it, down you go."

Brenda lowered the little girl to the floor and as soon as she sat on the floor Mollie picked up her favorite toy a stuffed panda bear. It was the very first toy Brenda had given her and the little girl had taken to it when Brenda had given it to her the first time they met.

Brenda couldn't help but smile when she looked at her daughter if somebody had told her a few years that she would be happy being a single mom raising a daughter she would have laughed in their face. But when she thought about it she had hard time remembering a time when she was as happy as she was now. She had made the right choice when she had decided it was time to have a child and somehow the way Mollie had come into her life made it feel even more right.

It was like the two of them had been waiting for each other Brenda remembered how surprised she was at how connected to Mollie she had felt when she had first been placed in her arms. Mollie hadn't cried or pulled away she had simply looked Brenda straight in the eyes as say "what took you so long to find me." Mollie had always been an easy baby well at least as she was close to Brenda when her parents had held Mollie for the first times she screamed her head off until she was safely back in Brenda's arms. It was better now but Mollie still preferred to be in Brenda's arms if given the choice.

Brenda was jumped slightly at the sound of the door buzzer Brenda wasn't expecting anyone not wanting to leave Mollie alone she quickly picked her up and balanced her on her hip.

"Hey Miss Mollie let's go see who's at the door" the little girl brought her stuffed toy to her mouth chewing on its nose focusing more on the toy than on her mother's action and words. Brenda pulled open the door and when she saw who was on the other side of the door she tighten her hold on Mollie and kept her hand on the door to steady herself.

Out of all the people she knew she had never expected to see him standing there she had done everything she could to distance herself from him. She had deleted him from her phone, blocked his emails and thrown out his letters without opening them. She refused to be pulled in to the whole messy situation again she had Mollie to think about and then there was Sammy she refused to be the reason why he didn't have his father in his life. She took a deep breath to get control of her emotions.

"Dylan?" Brenda almost lost her new found control when he leaned in wrapped his arm around her waist and a placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Good to see you Bren."

Brenda pulled back "what are you doing here?"

Dylan shrugged "you are such a hard person to get in contact with that I thought that I'd stop by."

Dylan held out his finger to Mollie who stared very intensely at him before grabbing it.

"hey Mol" Mollie gave him a big smile and held out both her arms indicating her desire to be held by him. Brenda held her closer she couldn't believe the child that would normally need to get to know people before wanting to be held by them was so eager to be held by Dylan.

Mollie squirmed against her mother's hold and Brenda finally relented she brought her lips to Mollie's cheek and kissed her as she with a smile on her lips whispered.

"Traitor."

Dylan looked slightly confused as Brenda leaned closer and offered Mollie to him he held out his arms and gently lifted her from Brenda's arm.

Dylan took Mollie in his arms staring into her eyes he tighten his hold on her fearing he'd might drop her but he was also very careful not to hold her too tight. Brenda ushered him in closing the door behind him Brenda inhaled sharply at the sight of her daughter in Dylan's arms.

Brenda silently guided Dylan towards the living room and helped him take of his jacket she resisted the urge to brush the snow from his hair. Dylan sat down on the sofa sitting Mollie down in his lap she continued to stare at him as if she was trying to decide if sitting on his lap was the right place to be. Dylan couldn't help but smile at her intense stare.

"You know Mol you look like your mother"

Brenda shook her head "Dylan…"

Dylan turned his attention away from Mollie and locked eyes with her "I know what you're going to say but she looks exactly like you do when you're trying to make up your mind and don't you doubt it for a second."

Brenda nodded deciding to accept Dylan's claim Dylan helped Mollie stand up on his thighs. "And if you're anything like your mama she is going to have her work cut out for her once you become a teenager."

Brenda let herself fall back "please don't remind me."

Dylan wiggled his eyebrow "hey I was the very happy teenage boy who reaped the benefits of your rebellious side."

Mollie clapped her pudgy hands together causing Dylan to look at her and stiffen for a second as reality hit him.

"And that's why your mama is going to enroll you in a Catholic all girls school and you're band from dating till you're 25."

Brenda leaned closer and kissed her daughter's chubby cheek "don't listen to him."

Dylan shook his head "you don't know teenage boys or how their dirty little minds work I do I was one you know."

Brenda smiled "I know exactly how dirty your mind was."

She suddenly became aware of how the flirty tone of the conversation had changed and jumped up grabbing his jacket next to her and crossed the room.

"She's 8 months old let's get her walking before you buy a chastity belt and a gun and start shooting unsuspecting teenage boys."

Dylan smiled at Mollie "with a smile like hers you can never be too careful."

Brenda listen from the hallway as Mollie let out another high pitch sound. She leaned forward and found her herself inhaling that special Dylan scent that clung to his coat she quickly pulled away cursing her moment of weakness.

"So who told you about Mollie?"

"That would be the proud uncle."

Brenda leaned against the door frame and watched as Dylan made several funny faces at Mollie each one earning him a loud squeal and flapping arms. Brenda brushed her bangs to the side this was what family life looked like to her.

Quiet moments spend with Dylan and their kids but no matter how much she had thought about this over the years it just wasn't a possibility anymore. Brenda swallowed as she saw how much the two people she loved most in this world enjoyed each other's company.

They seemed so in sync Mollie looked at him like he was interesting thing she had seen in a long time. Brenda signed what was it with Walsh women and Dylan McKay why was he so damn irresistible to them.

Brenda laughed when Mollie reached out and grabbed a hold on Dylan's hair and pulled him closer, Dylan tried to look up but Mollie's grip made it impossible.

"A little help here Bren."

Brenda walked over and gently opened her daughter's fists making it possible for Dylan to pull away Brenda moved to take her daughter in her arms but Mollie seemed to have no interest I her mother. Mollie bent her legs and made a bobbing motion with her head it took Dylan a few minutes to figure out what she wanted but as soon as he started bouncing her on his thighs he was rewarded with a loud squeal and a wide smile that revealed the few teeth that had broken through her gums.

Brenda leaned back and enjoyed the scene that played out in front of her though he hid well she knew that he was actually really good with kids. She would fight anyone to have what was right in front of her for the rest of her life. Anyone except one that sweet sandy blond boy she had grown to know and love when she had been back in LA.

She felt her stomach clench with an unknown anger, sadness and frustration how could he sit on her sofa smiling and laughing with her daughter like he there was no place he would rather be and why couldn't he do the same for his own son.

Why couldn't he see how lucky he was to have that boy in his life and why did he insist on repeating the mistakes his parents had made. Why was he willing to submit his son to the same kind of pain that had followed him his whole life?

Keeping her emotions in check she crossed the floor and stood beside them it took Dylan a few seconds before he acknowledged her presence.

"She's amazing Bren" Brenda nodded as she bend down and scooped the baby into her arms.

"I know but now it's time for her bath."

Dylan's eyes followed them out of the room and soon the apartment was filled with sounds of splashing water and Brenda's sweet laugh.

Dylan stood up and walked over to the window he was surprised at how at home he felt standing in Brenda's living room. He could almost fool himself in to think this was his home that it was his wife and daughter laughing and splashing around out in the bathroom.  
>But it wasn't she had moved on building a life for herself and her daughter here in London and no matter how much he wanted to be a part of it he highly doubted that she would let him.<p>

Too much had happened too many things had changed even the one thing he thought would never changed had; her touch. He felt as soon as he had said hello and pulled her into his arms she didn't relax in his arms as she had before there was a distance in her touch almost as if she was shielding herself from him.

Dylan looked around the living room it was exactly like he imagined the room looked very much like the living room in the apartment they had once shared. There were shelves filled with books, plays, magazines and strange souvenirs she insisted on buying whenever she visited some place new.

A couple of frames leaned against the wall, painting she hadn't had a chance to hang Dylan walked across the room that wall was filled with loads of different pictures and each on in a different frame. He glanced at the pictures but he eyes were quickly drawn to a picture of Brenda and Mollie from the surroundings and Brenda's flushed cheeks Dylan guess that it was taken when they had met each other for the first time.

Mollie was resting her head on Brenda's shoulder her small fist had a tight grip on Brenda's top. Brenda's had her arms wrapped around Mollie holding her close to her chest one hand cupping the back of Mollie's head and her lips were pressed against the top of her daughter's head and her eyes were filled with happy tears.

Dylan kept staring at the picture he could honestly say that he couldn't remember seeing Brenda this happy. The selfish part of him wished that it was him that had made her so happy but he knew that no matter how much he wanted to be a part of that picture he wasn't.

The sound of Brenda's voice interrupted his thoughts "Dylan could you give me a hand?"

He made his way to the bathroom a wide smile spread across his face when he saw a soaked Brenda sitting on the floor blowing raspberries on her daughter's belly. Brenda could feel his eyes on her.

"Could you please warm her bottle it's in the fridge just pop it in the microwave for 35 seconds."

Dylan stood behind Brenda and leaned closer to Mollie "you don't want to go to bed do Mol? You want to party all night long."

Mollie kicked her legs in response and let out a high pitch laugh, Brenda tilted her head back and lokked up at Dylan.

"Please don't get her worked up, she needs to go to bed."

Dylan turned to leave the room.

"You know Mol I speak from experience that when she uses that tone there's no messing around."

Brenda threw her arm out to swat him away but she didn't come close to touching him, Dylan laughed as he left the room.

"Not even close Bren."

Brenda lifted Mollie up in her arms and kissed her on the cheek and whispered.

"Don't go falling in love with him girlie, he has his own family."

Mollie struggled to keep her eyes open as she lay in Brenda's arms finishing of the rest of her bottle Dylan stood by the window silently observing Brenda as she put the bottle down and motioned to him that Mollie was sleeping and left the room.

Dylan crossed the room and returned his attention to the pictures on the wall. There were pictures he recognized from their time together in London there were pictures of her family in Minnesota, pictures of Brandon and her as kids along with their parents. His heart sank and he swallowed hard when he saw the picture, he couldn't believe how he could have missed it the first time.

He gently took the frame off the wall never taking his eyes of it he could tell it was taken at Kelly's house in her living room. Brenda was sitting on the floor with Mollie in her arms that was busy chewing on her own hand and next to her was Sammy playing with Lego blocks and they looked like they really relaxed together.

"He's such a sweet boy."

Dylan almost dropped the frame at the sound of her voice he hadn't heard her come back in and he had no idea how long she had been standing there. Dylan hung the frame back on the wall.

"Yeah I know" Brenda snorted as she walked away and grabbed the bottle and a few other things from the living room and made her way towards the kitchen.

Dylan could tell she was upset and he knew her well enough to know that if he wanted to know why he would have to put in an effort. As she past him again his hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

"Can you just stop that for a minute?" Brenda inhaled deeply she really wasn't in the mood to have this conversation.

"Stop what?"

Dylan brushed his thumb up and down her arm but stop when he felt her body growing tense "ignoring me, barely talking to me."

Brenda fought to keep her frustrations under control her feelings were all over the place. A part of her wanted to throw herself in his arms and start over again but she couldn't go there again it wasn't just about the two of them anymore; she pulled out of his grip and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Why did you come, why now?"

The harshness of her voice surprised him and the distance in her eyes confused him no matter what they had gone through they had always managed to come out on the other side but her attitude towards him now was troubling him. She had always been unpredictable but that wasn't the case now she had changed. Maybe this change could be attributed to having Mollie but that didn't explain her cutting him out of her life long before she became a mother.

Dylan was sure that something had happened in L.A. that had changed things. He wanted to understand he wanted to be a part of her life again not being able to just pick up the phone and hearing her voice was killing him.

"Why did you cut me out off?"

Brenda slumped down on the sofa she knew there was no way around this conversation "because I know what I want from my life now and I'm not going to let anything mess that up."

Dylan sat down next to her "and you think I would mess things up for you and Mol?"

Brenda reached behind her and pulled one of Mollie's toys that she had been sitting on.

"Yes I can't do this with you anymore I'm not going to let myself get sucked into this mess again."

Dylan drew a sharp breath he would never expect to hear admit to something like that "what mess are you talking about?"

Brenda ran her hands through her hair "the mess that automatically follows when we're in each other's lives."

Dylan gritted his teeth "that's a bunch of crap."

"No it's not we keep doing the same thing over and over again each time expecting a different outcome and it's got to stop."

Dylan stood up "so you've decided that you don't want me around anymore."

Brenda jumped up "yes if I wanted you here I would have contacted you."

Dylan took a step forward "I wanted to see how you and Mol were doing."

Dylan rubbed his hand over his face and let head fell forward as Brenda hurried past him he looked up when he sense her presence again.

"You shouldn't be so concerned about Mollie and me there are other people in your life that need you more than we do."

Dylan looked down at the frame she had shoved into his hands it was the picture he had looked at before.

"Your son" Dylan inhaled sharply.

"Why don't you get your ass on the first plane to LA and start making it up to that sweet little boy give him his father back."

Dylan tighten his grip on the frame "I can't do that Bren not now."

Brenda wrapped her arms around her waist she had really hoped that somehow she would be able to get through to him and get him to do the right thing by his son. She had done what she could by removing herself from the equation now it was up to Dylan to the last step.  
>It had taken all her strength to distance herself from him and she knew she was doing the right thing but that didn't make it any less difficult and if Dylan didn't do the right thing all this would have been for nothing.<p>

"Do you have any idea what it was like to sit there with him and having him ask me why he doesn't have a father" Dylan's jaw was clenched he had always been able to count on Brenda' patience and understanding but he didn't have that now.

"Why don't you ask Kelly."

Brenda threw her arms up "you know what I don't give a fuck about Kelly she's not important the only one who matters is Sammy, so why don't you grow a pair and be a father to your son."

Dylan didn't move every single word she spoke was laced with anger he wasn't sure if he could get her to listen to him.

"You know he asked me if I knew his dad."

Dylan snorted "you don't"

"You're right because the Dylan I knew would never abandon his own child make that child suffer the same way he suffered. He would never let his own child wonder if he had done something wrong and what it was that he had done that was so bad that his dad didn't love him anymore."

Dylan hurled the frame against the wall the grass scattered all over the floor "he's not my son, she fucking screw me over."

Brenda jumped back she looked at the broken frame her stomach dropped and her eyes burned with tears as a high pitch cry broke the silence Brenda locked eyes with Dylan.

"Get out" she hurried past him and into her bedroom.

Brenda gently lifted a crying Mollie into her arms "shhh its okay baby mama's here."

Brenda gently rocked from side to side soothing her crying daughter tightening her hold on her. Mollie sighed several times slowly settling down her crying changed to several sniffing sounds until she stopped Dylan stood in the door way quietly watching the two of them.

Of all the outcomes he had played over his head him throwing a frame at the wall scaring that sweet little girl had never once crossed his mind.

He took a small step forward "I'm so sorry Bren, I didn't mean scare her."

Brenda turned around and looked at him and despite the small amount of light in the room he could see the anger in her eyes "I told you to get out."

Dylan's throat closed up the look in Brenda's eyes and the tone of her voice made it clear that he was no longer welcome Dylan quietly left the room closing the door behind him.

Brenda closed the bedroom door behind her Mollie had gone back to sleep almost immediately with her little fist wrapped tightly around her panda's leg. Brenda stood still and listened hoping that Dylan had left feeling confident that he had left her defenses crumbled and as she let herself fall back on the sofa. Dylan's revelation ran through her mind how could Sammy not be Dylan son

Brenda studied the blue velvet box and the folded piece of paper lying on top of it she took a deep breath and opened the paper.

_Bren,_

_I'm really sorry things got out of control I never meant to scare either one of you._

_Love Dylan._

Brenda slowly opened the box she covered her lips in a pointless attempt to prevent a smile from forming on her lips. She gently picked up the child size silver charm bracelet and ran her finger over the three charms.

The first one was a panda bear followed by a silver heart the last one was a red London bus Brenda brushed her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hand she lay back on the sofa running the bracelet through her fingers and slowly sleep overtook her.


	2. Chapter 2

Brenda was pulled from her sleep at the sound of Mollie's soft whimpering she laid completely still waiting to see if Mollie was indeed up or if she was just dreaming. The covers began to move and a series of different sounds escaped the crib and it was clear that Mollie was wide awake. Brenda gently lifted Mollie and her panda into her own bed and pulled the covers over them both.

"I'm sorry about last night Mollie boo, I'm trying really hard to the right thing and now I don't know what is right anymore."

Mollie tried to fit her hand in her own mouth while staring intensely at her mother giving the impression that she understood every single word.

"I know it's so easy to fall for him but we're not going to go down that road it's you and me against the world just like always."

Brenda rolled over and grabbed the charm bracelet and held it out to show it to Mollie.

"He got this for you, do you like it?"

Mollie rolled over and leaned on Brenda in an attempt to grab the bracelet, she let out a frustrated sound when Brenda wouldn't let her have it.

"I know it's pretty but not jewelry before breakfast, so what do you say we go get something to eat."

Brenda checked her emails as Mollie sat next to her attempting to eat a banana but it seemed more was ending up on her clothes and in her hair. Brenda read quickly through an email from her parents asking when it would be a good time for them to visit, not something Brenda wanted to deal with right now. An email from Kelly she didn't even bother to open she was somebody Brenda had even less desire to hear from once again she found herself being sucked into the whole Brenda, Dylan and Kelly mess. Why had Kelly come down so hard on her when Dylan called her in LA when she knew all along that Sammy wasn't Dylan's son?  
>Kelly had made her feel so bad about being in contact with Dylan that she had caved and cut him out for her life for Sammy and Kelly's sake. And now to find out that she had been played by Kelly pissed her off.<p>

She slammed down the lid of her lap top she thought she had done the right thing putting Sammy and Kelly ahead of herself but what good had it done. She had done everything possible to avoid being tangled up in any drama but here she was once again trying to makes sense of it all but failing miserably. Why was it that three of them all ways ended up in the same mess it seemed that no matter how many years pasted in some ways they never moved past high school.  
>Maybe it was really time to cut all ties once and for all for Mollie's sake. She thought she had done the right thing when she moved to London but maybe she hadn't made it perfectly clear but she doubted anything she said would make any difference, Kelly wouldn't believe her and Dylan would just ignore her.<p>

Brenda thoughts were interrupted by a loud clanging sound looked up and started laughing Mollie sat in her high chair covered in oat meal and banana with a wide smile on her face her bowl was upside down on the floor. She lifted Mollie up and carried her out into the bathroom Brenda kissed her sticky face, leave it to Mollie to bring her out of her gloom.

Dylan rolled over covering his face with the pillow her had been up most of the night after Brenda had kicked him out he had wandered around London trying to figure out how to make it up to her. The first thing he had done when he got back to the hotel had been to call Kelly he needed to find out what exactly had happened between her and Brenda in LA and he needed to know what role Kelly had played in Brenda cutting him of. The way she had answered the phone had set the tone for the rest of the conversation.

"Where are you?" Dylan fought hard to remain in control but it was hard he wasn't sure he was ever going to get over what she did to him.

"I'm in London Kelly"

"Why am I not surprised?"

"I don't know surprises seem to be your department." Dylan covered his eyes no matter how much he pretended it still hurt to think about what she had done to him.

"Dylan please I apologized a million times."

"Nothing you say will ever make what you did okay, what you've done to me is one thing but to screw over you own kid like that seriously fucked up."

Dylan's voice softened "how is he doing?"

"He's good thanks for asking, you can tell Brenda he's crazy about star wars Lego she sent him."

Dylan wasn't surprised that Brenda would do something like that it was so typical of her to do something like that.

"Kelly what did you tell Bren about Sammy?"

Kelly snorted "what did she tell you?"

"Nothing I want to know what you told her and why you didn't tell her the truth about me not being his father."

"Because it's none of her business."

"But you had no problem bitching about me contacting her, you made her feel guilty every chance you got and you used her feelings for Sammy to your advantages."

Kelly smirked "wow she's really working you."

Dylan sighed "you don't get it she's loyal to you and Sammy she won't even talk to me."

"Maybe she's just doesn't want anything to do with you, did you ever think that?"

Dylan growled "it's because of you and whatever guilt trip you've laid on her."

Kelly's voice rose "if you already made up your mind then why are you calling me, why waste your time on me instead of spending it with your precious Bren."

"I already told you I want to know what your role is in all of this."

"I'm so done with you; just leave me the hell alone"

"Fine" Dylan hung up the phone and fell back on the bed.

Brenda adjusted Mollie in the baby carrier making sure that her hat and boots where on and that she was ready to go to the park. Brenda was excited to show her daughter snow for the first time and a trip to the park could be a welcome break from the thoughts that just wouldn't leave her alone. Feeling confident that she had everything she needed she made her way down the stairs Brenda pulled open her apartment building door and shivered a little when the cold hit her.  
>It seemed that after all this time the Minnesota in her had left and winter in London made her shiver just as much as the next person. She quickly decided that the trip to the park would be a short one with a few stops along the way Mollie who was strapped to the front of her mother in the baby carrier made huge eyes as they made their way down the snow covered streets.<p>

Brenda brushed the swing free of snow and sat down on the cold seat and slowly began to swing back and forth. Brenda looked down at Mollie and saw a surprised look on her face it seemed like she was trying to figure out what she thought of the swing.  
>Brenda stopped and leaned over and scooped up some snow from the other swing. She held the snow close to her daughter and with the other hand took of Mollie's glove the child eagerly grabbed the snow but dropped it almost immediately inspecting her hand and then she looked up at Brenda as if to say "what was that?"<p>

Brenda laughed as she put Mollie's glove back on "I know it's cold baby" she picked up some more snow and crushed it her hand and showed it to Mollie, but she seemed to have lost interest in the snow after having touched it.

Brenda shivered and decided that it was time to leave she crossed the street and made her way towards an area she knew well. She pulled open the heavy double doors and a familiar scent filled her nose this had been her home away from home for a long time. As she opened the last set of doors a familiar voice filled the room.

"Next please" she stood in the back and watched as a young man began to perform.

She unstrapped Mollie sat down a few rows behind the director and quietly observed enjoying being back in a theater when she first adopted Mollie she had decided to take a leave of absence but for how long she hadn't decided.

"So are you just going to sit there or do you plan on showing them how it's done."

Brenda leaned forward "Roy you know I'm not working right now."

Roy Randolph stood up "15 minute break everybody."

The lights in the theater was turned up and Roy sat down next to Brenda "so this is the young lady robbing me of my favorite leading lady."

Mollie buried her face in her mother's chest not feeling up to talking Brenda kissed the top of her daughter's head understanding her shy side.

"This Mollie but she's a little shy."

Roy shrugged not being a big baby person "so what do you think you'll be ready to work again?"

"I don't really know right now we're just settling in so it might be a while."

Roy reached over and grabbed a stack of papers "will you at least look this over?"

Brenda took the papers "I'll read it but don't expect anything more than that."

Brenda hurried home the cold was getting to her and Mollie was in desperate need of a nap she had started fussing at the theater cutting her meeting with Roy short. Brenda just hoped they would make it home before she fell asleep.

Brenda stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Dylan waiting for her Dylan closed the space between them. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk?" Brenda sighed really wanting to turn him away but she knew she didn't have it in her to turn him away not now not after what she had learned.

"Just for little while and I don't want a repeat of last night" Dylan crooked his finger under her chin and tilted her face upwards "I promise."

Brenda gently took of Mollie's snowsuit and hat; the little girl could barely keep her eyes open. When Brenda lifted her out of the baby carrier and walked towards the bedroom she lost the battle and fell asleep.  
>Brenda sat by the crib smiling at the peaceful look on her daughter's face being around Mollie calmed her in a way that no one had ever done before and she continued to be amazed by how much she enjoyed motherhood. Brenda stopped in the door way and stole another glance before carefully pulling the door closed behind her and made her way into the living room.<p>

She found Dylan standing by the window she could see his body jerked letting her know that he knew she was in the room. Silence filled the room as they both remained in their places Brenda knew he needed to talk but she knew from experience that when he was ready he would talk.

"Why did you decide to adopt Mollie?"

Brenda frowned a little she was surprised that he wanted to talk about this now. She really didn't want to go into the whole thing but how could she expect him to be honest with her if she wasn't.

"It was a mix of things."

"Like?"

Brenda knew he wasn't giving up; she swallowed a big lump taking a second to get her emotions under control she stood up.

"I felt like it was the right time

"Bren!"

"I found out that I won't be able to get pregnant."

"Oh Bren"

Dylan could hear the sadness in her voice he turned around and reached out to take her in his arms but Brenda held out his hand and stopped him.

"I don't want your pity, I have Mollie and I love her more than I thought I could ever love anybody. When I held her in my arms for the first time I knew that she was meant to be in my life and the fact that I haven't given birth to her doesn't change that."

"It's not pity I know how much it must have hurt you."

Brenda looked down and nodded the tears burned in her eyes but she refused to cry again. She had done enough crying over her medical condition and she had wasted enough time crying about something that wasn't going to change.

"Being sad about it doesn't change anything I have Mollie and I'm getting on with my life."

"I just wish I had been there for you."

"It wouldn't have changed anything I'm used to being on my own this wasn't any different."

Dylan stood behind Brenda and before she could protest he wrapped his arms tightly around her and pressed his lips against her hair.

"You're allowed to bed sad Bren."

Brenda relaxed in his arms and for a moment she allowed herself to enjoy being close to him again.

"You know I hadn't thought about having children since… well in a long time. But when the doctor told me that it wasn't an option for me I felt like lost something. I know it's stupid because how can you lose something you've never had and I know it was like I had found somebody to start a family with. But I still would really like to have had the option."

"I remember when we talked about having kids you were so certain that having kids were a part of your future. So I can understand how you felt like you lost something you were convinced you were going to have some time down the line. But now you have Mollie."

"Yes and wouldn't trade her for anything in the world, she's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"You're a great mom"

Brenda smiled as she sat down on the sofa.

"You've only seen us together for a couple of hours."

Dylan walked closer to the window needing to put a little distance between Brenda and himself.

"That's long enough for me to see how much you love her and how committed you are to doing the right thing by her and that makes you a great mom from where I'm standing."

"I guess if I fail with her it doesn't matter much what else I do."

"You know she just screamed it at me when we were having a fight" Dylan's shoulders sunk as he spoke "she said that she hadn't been sure from the beginning but she hoped that he was mine."

Brenda bit her lip not wanting to spew all kinds negative comments Kelly because she knew that wouldn't help the situation.

"I tried really hard to do right by her and Sammy but it just felt wrong trying to have a relationship with her I told her that I wanted to be in Sammy's life but that I couldn't be with her."

Dylan turned around and locked eyes with Brenda "I think she knew all along that I wasn't where I wanted to be and she blamed you."

Brenda sat up "but we weren't talking at that time."

Dylan sat down next to her "just because we weren't talking doesn't mean that she couldn't sense that my heart was somewhere else."

"Dylan please"

Dylan reached out and took Brenda's hand "no Bren I need you to know that truth and how everything got so screwed up."

Brenda inhaled deeply silently urging him to go on.

"I really worked hard at being the father I wanted to be, I got up with him at night tried to be there for Kelly. But there were times in the middle of night when it was just me and Sammy when I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if it had been you sleeping in the next room."

Brenda put her other hand on top of his Dylan exhaled sharply "do you any idea how guilty I felt sitting with my infant son in my arms and wishing that you were his mother?"

"That's not fair Dylan."

He immediately pulled his hand away.

"Don't you think if you only knew how guilty I felt that's, why I knew I had to end things with Kelly before it became even more screwed up. I didn't want my son to grow up the way I did in a house with two people who couldn't stand to be in the same room with each other and that's why I knew I had to move out before that happened."

"You didn't tell Kelly all of this did you?"

Dylan shook his head "no not all of it I value my life a little too much to let her in on all the gory details."

Brenda gave him a weak smile "some things are better left unsaid."

Dylan grabbed Brenda wrist brushing his thumb over her pulse point "and some things shouldn't be hidden any longer."

Brenda tried to pull away but Dylan didn't let go "Dylan we can't go down that road again, I have Mollie now and she is everything to me and I'm not going to allow her life to be filled with drama and chaos."

"Bren I wouldn't let that happen."

Brenda's eyes filled with tears.

"I know you wouldn't let I happen on purpose but with your history with Kelly and our history it's bound to happen."

Dylan reached out to wipe her tears away but Brenda pulled away and stood up, Dylan followed Brenda letting his hand fall to her shoulders and his lips pressed to the top of her head. "We won't let it happen."

Brenda turned around and wrapped her arms tightly around Dylan's waist inhaling his familiar scent. Dylan felt his whole body relax when she was in his arms and a smile formed on his lips as he felt her hot breath through his T-shirt.

Brenda loosened her hold on him moving her hands from his waist bringing them up to his cheeks and bringing his head down resting her forehead against his.

"Everything inside me wants nothing more than to say yes and start again."

Dylan's hands slit to her hips desperately wanting to keep her close "then do Bren say yes, please."

Brenda opened her eyes slowly "I just can't Dylan we can't be your replacement family."

Dylan pulled her flushed against him "no Bren, you and Mol could never be a replacement, don't do this."

Tears ran down Brenda's cheeks as she pushed Dylan away wrapping her arms around herself "I have to and you have to leave now."

"Bren no!" Dylan reached out to touch her but she stepped away.

"Dylan leave now."

Realizing that she wasn't changing her mind her slowly he left the living room stopping in door way "Bren."

Brenda walked further away from him "Dylan please leave."

Brenda walked over to the window it had started showing again the sound on the front door closing made her jump. When she saw Dylan down on the street she couldn't hold back any longer the tears slipped from her eyes and ran down her already wet cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

**First of I want to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews I'm really happy that you have welcomed my lastest story so well. So here is my lastest chapter and I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update but I'm really busy at the moment. With this chapter we're getting closer to the end, there's only two chapters left and i hope you update sooner next time. **

**So please bring on the reviews I love reading them****.**

Dylan flipped the collar of his jacket and pulled it tighter the snow fell thickly around him and the cold was starting to takes its toll. He wasn't ready to go back to his hotel room but he had no idea where to go so he wandered the streets of London desperately trying to clear his head. He felt his resolve slipping away just like everything else he stopped and looked up finding himself outside a pub. Without giving it a second thought he hurried inside finding a seat by the bar and quickly got the attention of the bartender.

He sat there pushing the glass back and forth he picked it up and brought it to his lips only to put it down again. He could almost taste the whiskey; feel the tinkling sensation on his lips and the burning sensation in the back of his throat. He missed the way it scraped away the bile in his throat the way it could block out every single thought and leave him completely numb.

He needed a drink so badly his whole body was trembling with the longing for alcohol; he was tired of fighting for his sobriety tiered for fighting for the things he wanted only to lose out in the end. There were only two people in this world he had both won and lost his battle with alcohol for the two people who at different times had meant everything to him and once again he lost out in the end. Feeling overwhelmed and lost he closed his eyes and slowly brought the glass to his lips.

_Dylan gently closed the door to Sammy's room he had just gone after putting up a big fight. From the day he was born he'd always had difficulties sleeping and it seemed that there was no one thing that could help him to go down. __Dylan walked into the kitchen he looked at the time on the microwave and realized that it had taken almost two hours to get Sammy to sleep. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and walked back into the living room slumping down on the sofa. He put the bottle to his lips and felt the cold water make its way down his throat._

_He exhaled enjoyed the silence and being on his own he loved his son very much and he could not regret anything that had brought Sammy into his life not matter what it had cost him. But there were moments where he found himself wishing that having a child was something he was sharing with Brenda and not Kelly. Dylan noticed his phone on the table he picked it up he found her number and without a second thought he let it ring through. With each ring his heart rate increased but at the same time each ring made his hope of talking to her fade. _

_It went to voice mail and her sweet voice filled his phone. He just sat there listing to her voice but he didn't leave a message he didn't know what to say he just needed to somehow feel close to her. He hung up and slit the phone across the table as he sat there trying to pull himself together and go to bed the bedroom door opened and Kelly appeared in the doorway. _

"_What are you doing out here?"_

"_I couldn't sleep."_

_Kelly sat down next to him ran her hand across his chest and began kissing his neck __"maybe I can help." _

_Dylan pulled away "not tonight Kel"_

_Kelly pulled away crossing her arms across her chest "what's going on with you?"_

"_Nothing, just go back to bed."_

_Kelly leaned closer but once again Dylan pulled away this time Kelly didn't give up she reached out and kept Dylan from getting up._

"_What's wrong and don't tell me nothing."_

"_It's four a.m. let's not have this conversation now."_

_Kelly threw her hands up as her voice grew shrill._

"_Then when exactly do you think we should talk about this you're never home and when you are you barely say two words to me. You're always with Sammy you never want to be with me, you seem to be avoiding me every chance you get."_

"_Do you seriously resent me for spending time with our son?"_

"_No I resent you for not spending time with me, you tell Sammy more things than you ever tell me."_

_Dylan stood up fighting hard to keep his frustrations under control he turned away from Kelly pinching the bridge of his nose._

"_Sammy comes first."_

"_Of course he does but what about don't you think it's time to make some plans for our future?"_

"_You just told me that I don't pay enough attention to you and now you want to make plans for the future?"_

"_Yes I want you here with me not …."_

_Dylan spun and looked at her_

"_Not where?"_

"_In London, where else"_

"_You're unbelievable, I'm here what else do you want from me?"_

_Kelly jumped up and hurried to Dylan's side grabbing his arm and forced him to face her._

"_A commitment, I want you to commit to me."_

"_I am."_

"_No you're committed to Sammy not me."_

_Dylan pulled away from her_

"_It's all that I can give you I want to be a father to my son and I want us to be his parents but I can't be your husband and I can't live with you anymore."_

"_No this is not happening."_

"_I'm really sorry Kel, I don't want to hurt you but I have to do this."_

_Kelly covered her eyes trying to block out everything her mind was spinning and she found it hard to concentrate. _

"_I'm going to get a house close by so it's easy to bring Sammy by especially once we've settled custody."_

_Kelly turned around shaking her head. _

"_Custody."_

"_Yes custody I want to be a part of his life even though I don't live here."_

"_No you can't have custody."_

"_Kel, don't let this get ugly."_

_Dylan reached out to touch her but she walked away from him._

"_I just want to the right thing by my son."_

_Kelly spun around her arms were crossed and her eyes were glassy with angry tears. _

"_He's not your son!"_

_Dylan stumbled back, it felt like he had been kicked in the chest all the air left his lung and he was struggling to remain standing. He tried to speak but he was unable to form any words all that came out was weird series strangled noises. Dylan focused on his breathing desperately trying to prevent himself from exploding._

"_Liar."_

_Kelly's voice shook as she spoke she couldn't look him in the eye and the room was filled with tension._

"_I'm not Sammy is not your son."_

_Dylan's voice trembled and threatened to break. _

"_How long have you know?"_

_Kelly exhaled deeply._

"_Since his first check up but I had doubts from the beginning."_

"_And you didn't tell me?"_

"_I'm so sorry I wanted to but I just couldn't you were so good with him."_

_Dylan walked really close to Kelly his eyes were filled with tears and his cheeks were already wet._

"_You let me to believe that he was mine you watched as I gave up everything to be a good father you made me feel guilty for every little thing that took my attention away from you and all along you know that there was chance that he wasn't mine"_

"_Yes"_

"_Why?"_

"_After all these we were finally a family and I didn't want to mess that up."_

"_So you decided that I didn't need to know you decided my whole life for me without any consideration for me."_

"_I'm so sorry, I really am."_

"_I can't be here right now."_

"_Dylan please don' go"_

_Dylan turned and walked away from her; he stopped in the doorway and looked at her._

"_I need to get out of here before I say something I regret."_

_Kelly chased after him but failed to catch up with him, she slammed the front door as she watched him walk away._

"_Damn it." _

Dylan stood hunched pressing his arms against the wall as he emptied his stomach he stood up straight wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He let out a series of grunting noises before a wave of nausea hit him again. He bent over again but nothing came out. Dylan pulled away from the wall and slowly made his way towards his hotel.

Brenda balanced a fussy Mollie on her hips it had been a rough night Mollie hadn't slept like she normally did and Brenda had been unable to figure out why. Brenda had tried to get Mollie to take a nap but she only seemed happy when she was in Brenda's arms.

Brenda sat down on the sofa placing Mollie on her chest gently running her hand up and down her back pressing gentle kisses on the top of Mollie's head. The shrill sound of her phone made both Brenda and Mollie jump Brenda answered it quickly while soothing a whimpering Mollie.

"Hello?"

There was a pause on the other end and Brenda was about to hang up when she heard Kelly's voice "Hello Brenda."

Brenda had half a mind to tell Kelly exactly what she thought of her and then hang up but it wasn't her battle to fight. She had done everything to stay out of all the drama and she wasn't going to get involved now. She inhaled deep gaining control of her anger and focused on Mollie who was dosing off.

"Hi Kelly" the conversation stalled it was clear that the progress they had made while Brenda was in L.A. was gone.

Kelly decided to go with a safe subject she didn't know how much Brenda knew and she really wanted to get her point across. "Sammy says thank you for the Star Wars Lego"

Brenda smiled at the mentioning of the little boy who held such a big place in her heart. "Good I'm glad I just saw it and it made me think of him."

Brenda sensed a change in Mollie's breathing and realized that she had fallen asleep. "Kelly just hang on a second."

Brenda pinned the phone between her ear and shoulder and slowly stood up and carried Mollie into her bedroom and placed her in her crib. She knew that there was a big chance that this conversation would not end pretty and she didn't want Mollie to witness that. She closed the door behind her and checked to make sure that the baby monitor was on.

"So Kelly what can I do for you? I'm guessing you didn't just call me to say thanks for the Lego."

"Well I was just wondering if you've heard from Dylan at all."

Brenda rolled her eyes she knew the moment the phone rang that this call was all about Dylan; Brenda fought back her urge to laugh.

"Kelly just drop it, you know Dylan is in London and I'm almost certain you know he's been to see us, so just say what you want to say."

Kelly's voice grew shrill "I just wanted thank you for Sammy's present, that's all."

Brenda shook her heard "fine you're welcome and I'll talk to you soon."

"Why are you being so cold, I thought we had moved past all of this?"

Brenda couldn't help but laugh "you're joking right after what you've done to Dylan and Sammy hell even me; you laid it on so thick making me feel so bad for simply talking to Dylan as a friend."

Kelly snorted "it's always about you isn't it but what about me, I lost my family all because of you."

Brenda rolled her eyes.

"You're unbelievable I'm in no way responsible for you losing your family that all down to you being a lying bitch who thought it was okay to mess with people's lives as long as it got you what you wanted you can only blame yourself."

"That's such a joke you were always there constantly coming between us."

"I wasn't even in the same country as you and Dylan. And when Dylan told me about Sammy I put even more distance between Dylan and me."

"You still talked to him" Kelly shrieked.

"He is my friend did seriously expect us to stop being friends simply because he was with you?"

"You should have respected our family."

Brenda wanted to hurl her phone against the in frustration and it amazed her that they had ever been friends.

"I did respect you family I never once tried to come between you and the fact that it fell apart is all down to you lying about the paternity of your son."

"You were always there in the back of his mind, how do you think it made me feel when I found photos of you on his phone. Or how I wanted to scream when he got this far away look in his eyes and I knew he was thinking about you."

Brenda sighed "that was not my fault I've done everything I can to stay out of all of this drama, but you still blame me for everything that's gone wrong in your life."

"Your part in this is just as big as mine."

"No Kelly this whole mess is down to you and only you, you have to live with the fact that you screw over Dylan, Sammy, me and let's not forget Sammy's real father who I seriously doubt knows he has a son."

Kelly hissed "that's none of your business."

"you're absolutely right and you know what I don't even care I just hope you love your son enough to do right by him."

"Don't you dare question my love for Sammy."

Brenda exhaled slowly and spoken with a very relaxed voice "I know you love him very much I've seen you two together remember but he still deserves to know his father?"

"Don't you think I know that?" Kelly shouted.

"Then stop blaming me for every wrong thing in your life and take responsibility for your own actions."

"What about you always playing the victim ever since high school you been working that whole routine and it's getting old."

Brenda couldn't contain her laugher.

"This is such a joke if anybody has been working the victim role it's stabbing people in the back doing whatever it takes to for you to get your way, and now you've done it to the person you're suppose to love most in the world your own son."

A loud cry pierced the air and Brenda lost all interest in her conversation "look Kelly I got to go Mol just woke and we've had a really bad night with very little sleep"

"Kelly snorted "so now it's Mol, I guess we both know who's responsible for that nick name."

"Goodbye Kelly" Brenda hit the end button before Kelly had time to respond and hurried into her bedroom and gently picked up Mollie.

"Hey baby what's going on with you?" Brenda pressed her lips against Mollie's forehead and was surprised at how warm she was.

"Poor baby you're burning up."

Brenda began removing Mollie's clothes leaving only her diaper and onesie on, Mollie moved around like she couldn't get comfortable. She continued to whimper as Brenda sat down on the sofa and gently kissing her forehead and stroking her back. Slowly Mollie drifted off again but Brenda didn't get up she wouldn't risk waking Mollie.

Very carefully she reached out and grabbed her phone and switched it to vibrate. She moved her fingers over some familiar digests feeling a desperate need to call Dylan. She knew he was the only one she wanted to talk to about her newly ended conversation with Kelly but she didn't feel right calling him so soon after having turned him down. She put the phone down next to her, wrapped Mollie's blanket around the sleeping baby and slowly she let sleep overtake her.

Brenda jumped a little when she woke up she looked around the room to try and figure out what time it was. She gently turned Mollie in her arms but as she looked down at her face Brenda realized something wasn't right. She brushed her finger across Mollie's cheek and whispered her name but she didn't respond. Panic filled Breda as she continued to try and wake Mollie she fumbled for the phone and dialed 999.

It seemed like forever before her called was answered big fat salty tears streamed down her face as she continued to try and wake up Mollie. She tried to control herself as she heard a voice on the end of the line.

"Emergency service how may I help you?"

"I need an ambulance there's something wrong with my daughter"

"How old is your daughter?"

Brenda's voice broke "She's 8 months old please hurry."

"We're on our way but I need to know if she's breathing"

"I don't know I think so."

"Okay what I need you to do is place your ear close to her mouth and listen."

Brenda leaned down and let out a nervous laugh as she answered the operator.

"She's breathing, she's breathing"

"That's good, does your daughter have any medical problems?"

Before Brenda had a chance to answer Mollie's body went completely stiff and then her arms and legs began to twitch. Brenda let a out a scream and she dropped the phone she lay Mollie down on the sofa and picked up the phone as she sat down next to Mollie.

"She just started twitching and shaking, please help me."

The door bell buzzed and Brenda jumped up with Mollie in her arms and answered it. She was greeted by two paramedics one gently took Mollie in his arms while the other asked Brenda what to her seemed like a million questions.

She quickly hung up the phone and watched as Mollie continued to twitch and shake while the paramedics worked on her. The paramedic who had been asking her all the questions gather all their supplies and put his hand on Brenda's shoulder.

"I think you should call your husband have him meet us down at the hospital."

Brenda was about to explain her situation but didn't see the point, she just nodded and followed the paramedics grabbing her keys on the way out of the apartment.

Brenda stood in the hallway and watched as they carried Mollie in to an examination room she pulled her phone out of her pocket and pressed his number.

"Bren?"

At the sound of his voice Brenda began to sob "Dylan I need you"

Dylan jumped off his bed putting on his shoes and jacket and ran out the door "Bren your scaring the hell out of me, where are you?"

Brenda swallowed another sob "I'm in the hospital I really need you."

Dylan hurried through the lobby and into the street "are you okay Bren?"

"It's not me it's Mollie something's really wrong."

Dylan jumped into a cab in front a couple who had been waiting for some time ignoring their comments.

"Bren I'm on my way just tell me where you are."

Dylan thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest as he ran into the hospital he looked around for some members of staff and finally he spotted a nurse.

"I'm looking Mollie Walsh."

"And you are?" Dylan feared for a second that she wouldn't tell him anything unless he claimed to be a family member "I'm her father."

The nurse eyed him for a second and but relented "down the hall and to your right."

Dylan hurried down the hall and right away he spotted Brenda her head hung low she had wrapped her arms around herself almost as if she was trying to hold herself together. Hearing footsteps she looked up and locked eyes with him he quickly closed the distance between them and as soon as he close enough Brenda hurled herself into his arms.

"It's okay, I'm right here Bren."

Brenda held on even tighter and whispered into his jacket "I can't lose her."

"Shh baby you're not going to lose her I promise you" Dylan kissed the top of her head and just held her letting her lean on him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Walsh?"

The two of them jumped apart as they turned and looked at the doctor "how's Mollie?"

The doctor smiled "your daughter is fine what you experienced tonight was fever cramps it can be very scary when you don't know what's going on but there's will be no permanent damage. It's actually not all that rare that children below the age of 6 have fever cramps."

Brenda wrapped her arms around Dylan's waist and buried her face in his chest Dylan leaned down and kissed her forehead "I told you she was going to be okay."

Brenda turned to the doctor "when can we see her?"

"We've given her some diazepam for the cramps and we're going to want to keep her overnight for observation. She's sleeping now but you're more than welcome to go and sit with her."

Dylan watched as Brenda pulled her chair close to the bed and gently picked up Mollie's hand and pressed it against her lips "don't ever scare mama like that again okay?" Dylan thanked the doctor and took a seat next to Brenda.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yeah I know you can't believe it but I've finally updated this story, I've been so stuck on one special part of the story that no matter what I did it just didn't come out right. I still have a few doubts but I've done my best and I hope that you like what I've written.**  
><strong>There's only one chapter left and that will be an epilouge and I've written about 13 of it and I will do everything I can to have it up soon. A huge thanks to those of you who have stuck with me and my story it means so much to me. **

* * *

><p>Dylan blinked a few times as he sat up; his body was stiff from sleeping in a chair. He rolled his head from side to side hoping the soreness in his neck would disappear. Slowly his eyes became used to the light and sleep began to leave his body. He rubbed both his hands over his face as he stood up and silently moved to the side of Mollie's hospital bed. Brenda sat in the exact same spot as she had done before he lost his fight against sleep she sat completely straight her eyes fixed on Mollie's face.<p>

Dylan sat down on the arm rest of Brenda's chair and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Brenda jumped at his touch Dylan leaned down and kissed the top of her head "Sshh Bren it's just me."

Brenda felt herself relax under his touch and as always he made her feel safe, she leaned into his arms and exhaled deeply. "She's slept through the night"

"And what about you Bren?" She simply shook her head.

Dylan pulled her closer "Bren she's going to be fine, she has an ear infection and they got that and the fever camps under control you have to trust that."

"I know but I just really want her to wake up"

"She will but you need to rest Bren."

Brenda pulled away from him as she jumped out her seat, her voice broke as she glared at him "you don't get it; you don't love her like I do. She is my baby and family probably the only one I'm ever going to have so I need her to wake up before I can relax. And why are you even still here she has nothing to do with you just as I have nothing to do with you so why don't you just get out of here."

Dylan tried to wrap his arms around her but she took a step back "Bren just calm down"

Brenda shook her head and pointed towards the door "no just go, get out of here now."

Dylan's shoulder sank as he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the room without looking back. Brenda regretted her words as soon as the door closed behind him; she sunk back in her chair and covered her mouth with hand to block the sound of her sobs.

Dylan leaned against the wall with closed eyes the people and the sounds around him seemed to disappear. He had no idea how long he had been standing there when he felt hand on his shoulder, his eyes snapped open hoping to find Brenda next to him. "Are you alright?"

Dylan looked at the doctor from last night "yeah, I'm just…."

The doctor nodded and padded Dylan on his shoulder "it's hard when your child is ill, but she will be fine."

"I think you might need to reassure Bren of that again, she really needs to hear it from you again."

The doctor nodded as he softly knocked on the door of Mollie's room, Dylan watched as the doctor walked in before turning around and walked away.

Brenda leaned back in her chair she smiled as a small chubby hand was pressed against her lips. She kissed the chubby little hand and pulled Mollie closer. She had woken up shortly before the doctor left and he had examined her and cleared her for release. Brenda was just trying to figure out to call and ask to bring stuff for her and Mollie; she had just realized that she had nothing with her, not even her keys.  
>Her first thought had been to call Dylan but she couldn't not after the way she had treated him earlier this morning. Of course she could run back home herself but she didn't want to leave Mollie alone in the hospital. Mollie fisted a lock of Brenda's hair and began to brush to against her own cheek. Mollie had always had a fascination with hair when Brenda first got her home her favorite place to be was in Brenda's arms resting her head on her shoulder and with a tight grip on Brenda's hair.<p>

A soft knock on the door made her look up the sight of Dylan shocked her after the way she had spoken to him she didn't expect to see him so soon. "Can I come in?"

Brenda nodded never taking her eyes of Dylan as he moved closer. "Is she sleeping?"

Brenda shook her head and turned Mollie in her arms so Dylan could see her "she's still a little bit tiered that's all."

Dylan crouched down and gently ran his index finger across Mollie's hand "Hey Mol, it's good to see you again" the little girl looked up, staring at him for a bit before she leaned back against Brenda's chest.

Brenda kissed the top of Mollie's head before slowly turning to look at Dylan "Dylan …"

Dylan stood up as he cleared his throat "I know you asked me to leave and I will I just figured that you might need some things when Mollie was released so I went by your place a got a few things."

Brenda looked down at the bag next to her chair "how did you get…"

Dylan looked down and for a second he felt embarrassed "last night I realized that you didn't have anything with you and I knew you didn't want to leave Mollie here so I decided then that I would go this morning and so when I left here I went by and got some things for you."

Brenda reached out and grabbed his hand "thank you so much Dylan" Dylan gave her hand a light squeeze as he turned to leave but Brenda didn't let go of his hand as she looked him straight in the eye "I'm sorry about what I said"

"I know Bren."

Brenda turned Mollie around and motioned to Dylan for him to take her he hesitated but the he reached out and took Mollie in his arms. The little girl looked at him with drowsy eyes but she quickly got comfortable in his arms settling her head against his shoulder and grabbed a hold of his T-shirt. Brenda grabbed the bag next to the chair and looked through it she was surprised to find everything she needed to take Mollie home. For a second she wondered how Dylan knew exactly what to bring but then she remembered that packing a diaper bag wasn't all that foreign to him, he must have done it for Sammy.  
>The whole Sammy situation still had her head spinning she was furious at Kelly for playing him like that, how could she let him fall for that little boy while knowing that there was a chance that he wasn't Dylan's. And now things was a huge mess Dylan was more hurt than her was willing to admit, Sammy was still missing his father and she was still fighting her feelings for Dylan.<p>

Dylan noticed that Brenda had stopped moving he walked over and gently put his arm around her shoulders and instantly felt her leaning into his touch. "Come on let's get the two of you home so you can get some sleep" Brenda gave him a tiered smile and gently eased Mollie out of his arms and began to dress her.

Dylan watched with Mollie in his arms as Brenda signed the last papers she was dead on her feet and he was amazed that she was still standing. Brenda put the pen down and walked over to Dylan she held out her arms but Dylan shook his head "I've got her" before she had a chance to react he wrapped his arms around her pulling her flushed against him "I've got you both."

Brenda didn't respond she just let him lead them out of the hospital and into the waiting cab. Brenda leaned into Dylan resting her head on his shoulder; she reached out her hand and gently ran it down Mollie's back. She felt herself relax it felt so right being in Dylan's arms again. She had imagined this so many times the three of them being a family but she had given up any hope of that happening a long time ago.  
>She felt her eyes getting heavier and she struggled to keep them open she moved slightly trying to sit up straight but Dylan stopped her with a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Just relax I'll wake when we're home." Brenda didn't respond she just sat back and enjoyed knowing Dylan was there.<p>

The walk up the stairs leading to her apartment seemed to last forever and it took all her focus and energy just to put one foot in front of the other. Dylan had noticed this and he had a strong hold on her hand as the climbed the last few steps. He took the keys from her hand and opened the door "let's get you into bed before you fall over."

Brenda looked up at him and gave him a very tiered smile and ran her hand down the cheek of a very alert Mollie. "I can't there's no way she is going down for a nap now."

Dylan cupped her face in his hand and gently forced her to look at him "I'll look after her you need to get some sleep and I'm not going to take no for an answer."

Brenda nodded and placed a quick kiss on Mollie's cheek and headed into her bedroom, Mollie looked up at Dylan with surprise "well kiddo it's just you and me for the next couple of hours."

Dylan sat on the sofa with Mollie on his lap he pointed to the pictures in her animal book and told her what they were looking at but she seemed more interested in turning the pages. Mollie began running her hand through her hair and grapping her ears. She began to whimper a little and when she dropped the book on the floor that just pushed her over the edge and she began to cry. Dylan gently turned her around he laid her head against his shoulder and padded her softly on the back "you need to keep it down Mol because your mama is sleeping."

Mollie continued to cry and Dylan got up and began to walk around the room hoping it would calm her down. "You know kid you got the best mama around, trust me I've known her for a long time and she's one of a kind. She's just as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside, I know it's hard to believe but trust me. She's always there when you need her, putting other ahead of herself and even though I've messed up more time than I can count she has always forgiven me and I know she'll do the same for you."

Mollie stopped crying and lifted her head slightly and looked at Dylan he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I knew you were a smart one so I was thinking maybe you could talk to your mama and convince her to keep me around. I know you might be thinking who is this strange dude that needs a baby to fight his battle for him? But you see your mama is so set on doing what she thinks is the right thing that she's forgetting to follow her heart. You see I really love your mama so what do you say?"

Dylan looked down and saw that Mollie had fallen asleep. For a second he considered putting her down in her bed but he didn't want to risk waking Brenda so he sat down on the sofa. Mollie's gentle steady breathing made him relax and he quickly felt his head drop. Deciding to risk the wrath of Brenda he put his feet up on the coffee table and closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.

Brenda was woken by the shrill sound of her phone, she looked at the screen and when she saw Kelly's name flashing on the screen she decided to ignore it. She wasn't in the mood for another round of the Kelly craziness she closed her eyes hoping to go back to sleep but then she notice the silence. She sat up and looked in Mollie's crib but it was empty she wrapped the duvet around her and padded into the living room. She was surprised by the sight of Dylan sleeping of the sofa with Mollie in his arms.

She drew a sharp breath and took a moment to enjoy the view they looked so comfortable together but she wasn't sure how comfortable it would be in the long run. Quietly she walked over to them and very carefully she tried to lift her daughter out of Dylan's arms without waking him. Dylan eyes short open as soon as Brenda tried to take Mollie he looked around trying to figure out what was going on. "Shh go back to sleep Dylan I'm just going to put her down in her crib."

Dylan shook his head and motioned to Brenda to join them, she hesitated for a second but then she pushed her worries aside and snuggled close to Dylan covering the three of them with her duvet. "You smell so soft and warm Bren."

Brenda smiled "you smell like banana and oatmeal" Dylan kissed her head "eau de breakfast"

Brenda buried her face in his chest "I like it on you."

Brenda was woken by a chubby hand grapping her hair she smiled at her daughter and tried to sit up but Dylan was resting his head against hers. With some difficulty she managed to slips out from under his body and extracting Mollie from his arms without waking him. Brenda balanced Mollie on her hip and silently walked into the kitchen "let see what we got for dinner." Looking through the fridge it became clear to Brenda that it would be difficult to come up with something interesting from what she found inside. Brenda bit her lip she really didn't want to take Mollie outside but she didn't want to wake Dylan either.

Luckily Mollie didn't need to be fed yet so Brenda decided to take a bath with Mollie to try and wash the hospital smell of the two of them. Mollie shrieked and slammed her chubby hands again the water. Brenda smiled at her daughter's glee the events of last night were still so clear in her mind and she had never been so scared before. The thought of loosing Mollie was unbearable she had only had her for such a short time but she knew life without her daughter wasn't something she even wanted to face. Brenda turned her slippery baby around and blew raspberries on her stomach causing Mollie to laugh out loud.

Brenda scooped up some foam and blew it out of her hand Mollie tried to grab the foam but grew frustrated when it broke in her hand. "I'm not sure who's having the most fun"

Brenda's head snapped towards the door Dylan stood there leaning against the door frame his hair was sticking out in various directions and fatigue still marked his face but he looked just as sexy as always. Brenda swallowed hard and she couldn't help but feeling grateful for the bubbles that covered her somewhat. Not that it was something that he hadn't seen before but somehow it didn't seem right that she was naked in front of him. "Since when have you taking up lurking?"

Dylan smiled "when it comes to you I've always been a bit of a lurker."

Brenda shifted under his intense stare "so are you just going to stand there or be helpful?"

"That's a tough call I'm really enjoying the view"

A playful glint lid up Brenda's eyes as she flicked some water towards Dylan, causing him to jump back "hey watch, if you want me to get all you have to do is ask." Brenda rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her daughter; Dylan stepped back into the bathroom and sat down on the bathtubs edge "she looks like she's doing better"

"I know her fever is down and her mood is also a lot better."

Dylan smiled "that's really good" as he looked at them he couldn't get over how happy the two of them looked the more he saw them together the more clear it became to him that Mollie had brought a sense of calm into Brenda's life and she seemed at peace with herself and her life in a way that had surprised him. Suddenly he felt very out of place and he couldn't help wonder if Brenda was right that he didn't have a place here a splash of water pulled him from his thought and water trickled down his cheek followed by the laughter of Brenda and Mollie mixed in a sweet harmony.

Dylan stood up as her wiped his face "is this the thanks I get for coming in here with the offer of buying you lovely ladies dinner "

Brenda smiled at his new wet look "you seem more like a peeping Tom and haven't heard any offer of dinner."

Dylan turned his head slightly and gave her mock apologetic smile followed by a very poor executed bow "my apologies, would you lovely ladies like to join me for dinner?"

Brenda shook her head as she smiled and Mollie offered him a wide toothless smile Dylan leaned down and pressed a kiss on top of Brenda's head "I'll take that as a yes so relax take your time and I will take care of dinner."

Brenda blinked as Mollie slammed her hands into the water splashing water all over the place; Brenda was so focused on her daughter that she didn't her the apartment door open and shortly thereafter close.

Brenda finished putting on Mollie's pajamas; they had stayed a little longer in the bath giving herself some time to get control over her emotions. Mollie didn't mind she loved the water and it could sometimes be a struggle to quietly get her out with Mollie on her hip Brenda walked into her bedroom got get dressed. She put Mollie down in her crib as she looked through her closet after a lot of thought she decided on a simple t-shirt and track suit bottoms, she was tiered and not out to impress Dylan in any way. She pulled her hair back in a messy bun and checked her face for any signs of old make up feeling confident with the way she looked she lifted Mollie into her arms and walked into the living room.

She found Dylan sitting on the sofa flicking through the TV channels on the coffee table was several containers of Chinese food, she a warmth spread inside her this felt so right, so natural and it made her wonder if she had made the right decision to cut him out of her life. As she looked at the coffee table she inwardly wondered if he had considered that Mollie was still a little too young to share their meal "enjoying the view?"

Dylan turned off the TV and turned to her with a dirty grin on his face. Brenda rolled her eyes and sat down next to Dylan with Mollie in her lap, Dylan noticed the searching look in Brenda's eyes he reached over and put a bib around Mollie's neck and handed Brenda a spoon "I got her some creamy leek and potato soup."

Brenda smiled as she dipped her spoon into the cup and slowly began to feed her daughter gently blowing on every single spoonful taking great care in making sure that the soup wasn't too hot for Mollie. Dylan watched in silence as Brenda fed Mollie, the knot in his stomach that had begun to form over the last week grew tighter as he sat here on the sofa with Brenda.  
>He had tried to push thoughts of Sammy out of his mind and for most of the time he was successful but seeing Brenda and Mollie together he knew that at some point he would have to face his past but how it would work and what it entailed he still didn't know. He needed for Sammy to know the truth and he knew that for that to happen he would have to face and deal with Kelly again, but the very thought of seeing her again made his blood boil.<p>

Dylan jumped slightly when he felt Brenda's hand on top of his; he looked up and saw her looking expectantly at him "where did you go?"

Dylan shook his head slightly "I'm sorry Bren what did you say?" Brenda reached down and picked up the book that Mollie had just dropped on the floor the little girl sat on the sofa between the currently chewing on her panda's ear, she eagerly grabbed the book as Brenda handed her the book. Brenda slowly turned her attention back to Dylan "you were thinking about Sammy, right?"

Dylan didn't respond he simply took another mouthful of his dinner, but Brenda continued "you need to deal with Kelly at some point and you need to talk to Sammy again, you can't keep hiding out with Mollie and me."

Dylan reached out and took Brenda's hand "I'm not hiding out, I knew the truth about Sammy long before I came here"

"I know that but I didn't have a daughter when you first found out and now that I do you think by coming here we can be your replacement family and that will make you forget what you lost."

Dylan fought his instinct to jump up and shout that she was wrong instead he moved a little bit closer to Brenda lacing his fingers with her and put the other one on top of her hand "when will you get it through your thick skull that you and Mollie will never be the replacements, to me you are the standard I compare everyone else too I love you Bren and that will never change."

Dylan lifted up his hand and brushed a few loose strands of her hair back and gently he cupped her face in his hand as he leaned in and captured her lips with his. Dylan pulled her closer and Brenda buried her face in the nook of his shoulder her hot breath danced along his skin and he inhaled that sweet scent that was completely unique to Brenda.  
>He slowly pulled her hair loose and ran his fingers through it relishing in its familiar softness and scent he let his lips wander to that special spot just below her ear and whispered "be with me Bren" he sensed her will to pull away and he tightened his hold on her "please Bren, be with me."<p>

Brenda pulled back cupping his face in her hands and kissed his forehead fat tears burned in her eyes as she continued to kiss his cheeks and lips she stopped her movements and looked down at her hands knowing that if she looked him in the eyes she would lose her courage "I can't, please try to understand."

Dylan drew a sharp breath and he slowly pulled back and rose from the sofa looking out the window he took several deep breaths and wiped away his tears before turning around his voice cracked as he spoke "would it be okay if I said goodbye to Mol?"

Brenda nodded wordlessly and she couldn't take her eyes of him as he lifted Mollie into his arms and walked over to the window. While they looked out the window Dylan whispered something to Mollie that Brenda couldn't hear he hugged and kissed her goodbye. He turned around and sat her down on the floor with her book, it felt so natural to have him there.

For years she had put everybody else's needs ahead of her own she had pushed Dylan away time and time again because she wanted to do the right thing, but now she had no reason to push him away. She wasn't coming between him and somebody else maybe now was the time to be selfish maybe finally this was their chance to be together without any drama or unresolved issues from the past.  
>Maybe all she had to do was to reach out and ask him to stay, take a chance and maybe they would finally have what they had dreamt of for so long. Brenda swallowed a lump as her eyes met Dylan's.<p>

He made his way over to Brenda he took her hand and slowly brought it to his lips never taking his eyes of her. "I love you Bren, it's hard for me to remember a time when I didn't love you. You are the only person I can't truly by myself with and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You are the one Bren I could never love anybody the way I love you." Brenda drew a sharp breath and tried o look away but Dylan refused to let her he cupped her face in his hands "ask me to stay."

Brenda closed her eyes and fat tears tumbled down her cheeks as she remained silent. Dylan cleared his throat before leaning in a resting his forehead against Brenda's the two of them stood completely still breathing each other in. Dylan was the first to pull away he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and quickly walked towards the door.

Brenda's heart was pounding, her throat felt tight her eyes burned with fresh tears as she took a deep breath and spoke in a broken voice "stay."

Dylan spun around taking her whole form in he didn't dare move fearing he had only imagined her request.

Brenda wiped away her tears "please stay"

Dylan rushed to her pulling her flushed against his body taking several deep breath before gently pulling back cupping her face in both his hands resting his forehead against hers "I love you Bren."

Brenda wrapped her arms around his neck running her fingers through his hair "I love you too so much."


End file.
