Harry Potter 1. Introduction

It was night. The distant sounds of cheering and celebrations could be heard across the whole country it seemed. But for many witches and wizards it was not an event for celebration. Hundreds found themselves grieving over their lost master and fleeing for protection from imprisonment. Elegia Gravis was one of them.

She had quickly ransacked her old family home and gotten rid of any and everything remotely suspicious. She dreaded leaving her home for it had been in her family for over a century and it was all her parents had to leave behind. She also knew that the house would most likely be destroyed, either by those searching for evidence against her or by time. But now was not the time to become emotional over such things. She had been highly involved with the Dark Lord and all his followers were being sought out, a lot of which were being sent to Azkaban. Remembering all the horror stories she'd heard, she certainly did not want to end up there. So she had made arrangements to flee the country and take up work elsewhere. All this aside, there was someone she had to see before leaving. She had thought about it at great length but knew she could not leave without saying goodbye.

She came upon the rundown house that belonged to her long time friend. The windows were all dark and the house looked empty. She dearly hoped he was there; she hadn't even thought that he may not be. She began the ascent along the rocky pathway to the old house. Reaching the doorway, she knocked three times on the splintered wooden door. Almost as soon as she'd knocked, she heard the lock slide out of place and the door creaked open. She could see his black eyes glimmering in the moonlight peering out at her.

"Severus," she breathed in relief and contentment.

He scanned his yard for intruders before opening the door wide and in his quiet voice saying, "Come in."

They walked into his dimly lit living room and he gestured for her to have a seat in one of the dusty armchairs. After he was seated as well, he asked, "What are you doing wondering about at a time like this? I thought you would have better sense."

"I'm leaving the country. Tonight," she said. His expression ranged from shock to hurt. When he said nothing, she continued, "I have a cousin overseas that is willing to let me live with her until things settle down here."

He still said nothing but she gave him time to think. At last he said, "Why are you running away now? Our community should stick together."

"You know as well as I that the Dark Lord is gone." She paused a moment before saying, "They're going to come after us one by one. I don't hold sway over the ministry like the Malfoys do. I might was well turn myself in to Azkaban because if they catch me, that is where I will most certainly go."

"You won't end up in Azkaban as long as you don't do something rash and stupid. Those who have been convicted put themselves in that situation. Anyone with half a brain can avoid it. And besides, the ministry can catch you overseas just as well as they can here. You're endangering yourself even more by fleeing."

She had, of course, thought about all of this. But the Dark Lord's disappearance wasn't the only reason she was leaving. For years she had stood by Severus through thick and thin. She had offered him her love and support but this always seemed to go unnoticed. She couldn't stand his indifference any longer. She had to leave him even if it killed her.

"I have to leave," she said dully. She got to her feet and began walking toward the door but he blocked her path.

"Will you come back?" he asked.

"I will," she said, giving him an empty smile. She knew she wasn't fooling him and she grabbed for the door handle. He placed one cool, soft hand upon hers and gently turned her face toward him with the other, forcing her to look at him directly.

"Tell me why you are really leaving," he said quietly, those penetrating black eyes probing hers.

Tears were brimming in her eyes and her expression was fraught with despair. "I have to leave," she barely whispered, her voice cracking. She worked her way out of his grip and slid out of the door. She walked a couple of steps before turning and whispered, "Goodbye." He could do nothing but watch as she walked briskly down the pathway, turned on her heel and vanished into the night.


	2. Chapter One

Severus found himself looking back upon that night as he sat in his office, contemplating all that had happened over the past few weeks. The night she'd left him had been nearly fifteen years ago and still he thought of it every day. He couldn't stop himself from wondering if she was even alive. She'd said she would come back and he still believed, as foolish as it was, that she would stay true to her word and return. He had tried to pry from her mind her true intentions that night but she had successfully kept them hidden from him. And now all he could do was sit and wonder. Although he assumed the hurt offset by her disappearance would eventually subside, the memory of her vanishing that night was still clear as a bell. He guessed that the recent reappearance of the Dark Lord had brought about these feelings. Whatever the reason, Lord Voldemort was back and rumors of war were spreading fast.

Only a few nights earlier, there had been a massive breakout of Death Eaters from Azkaban. They had been joined by the Dark Lord himself at the Department of Mysteries and a battle ensued. Several were hurt and Sirius Black had lost his life. He rather regretted not being there himself but he knew that his presence would have been awkward. Now was not the time to foul up his cover. He supposed his duty remained at Hogwarts anyhow, seeing as they were short on professors what with Umbridge's disposal of them all.

The students had finished their term on schedule and had left earlier that day. The staff at Hogwarts was all getting ready to leave now. He himself had spent the day seeing that his classroom and office were orderly. He would be leaving the next morning and would return to his ramshackle house on Spinner's End until it was time to return once more. After having spent all day tidying up and setting matters straight, he decided he would quite enjoy a walk around the grounds. It was rare that one got the chance to observe the beauty of the Hogwarts grounds as they were usually littered with students. Ascending from the dark dungeons, he climbed out of the castle's depths and into the warmer air of the upper levels.

Reaching the main corridor, he stopped short as he heard voices in the hallway. He peered around the wall at a group of people standing huddled at the base of the grand staircase. Dumbledore was standing in front of two male wizards and a witch. He could not see the faces of the three persons standing before Dumbledore, nor could he understand what they were saying. As he studied them more carefully, his eyes lingered on the witch. Her long, wavy, dark chestnut hair extended well down her back. She was quite tall and her thin frame was concealed by her worn traveling cloak. Although he was only seeing her from behind, there seemed something awfully familiar about her that he couldn't quite grasp.

"Ah, Severus," Dumbledore's voice called across the corridor. His heart began to pound, unaware that he'd been spotted. "What brings you out at this hour?" But he did not have time to answer the question, for at that moment the three strangers turned around and he caught sight of the witch's face. Although she looked worlds different, he knew without a doubt whom she was. Elegia Gravis.

Dumbledore did not interrupt his abashed silence but merely watched him with a humored smile. "I was just going out for a stroll," he finally managed to choke out. She had now realized who he was as well and was staring at him with a shaken expression.

"Excellent! Then perhaps you wouldn't mind escorting these three to the gate?" Dumbledore said in his cheery voice.

Not taking his eyes off her, he replied, "Very well then." He walked towards the heavy castle doors and was flanked by the two wizards and Elegia.

He remained silent as they walked through the darkened Hogwarts grounds. Through all these years he'd been thinking of things he would say to her when he saw her again but none of them seemed appropriate now. He could tell she was watching him out of the corner of her eye. The two wizards that were accompanying them were observing them both with puzzlement.

They reached the gate at last and the two wizards bid thanks for his escort. He watched her leaving in fear, thinking he would lose her again. As they both crossed through the gate, they left Elegia behind, leaving her standing in limbo between the gate and Severus. She glanced from him to the two wizards and said, "You two go ahead. I'll catch up later." They looked at her questioningly and she added, "I'll be fine. Go ahead." Their expressions still riddled with confusion, they walked a few more steps and apparated out of sight.

They stood there in silence for a long time, gazing at each other intently. A thousand questions racing through his mind, Severus finally settled on, "How long have you been here?"

"A couple of months," she said.

He felt a surge of anger. He didn't know why she hadn't contacted him since her return. They were once great friends. But then again, he supposed if she'd had any intentions of seeing him again, she would have waited a lot less than fifteen years to return.

Not being able to resist, he asked, "Why were you gone so long? Where have you been all these years?"

Her weary, care-worn features became more noticeable as she whispered, "Now is not the time to get into all of this."

Realizing he'd hurt her feelings by being so rash, he said more calmly, "I will return to my home tomorrow. Do you think you could find it within yourself to visit me?"

She hesitated as if debating his question. At last, she looked into his eyes and said simply, "I will." Although these were the same choice of words she'd used so many years ago when she'd lied to him, he could tell now that she was telling the truth. She stared at him a moment longer as if she couldn't believe it was really him. At last, she whispered, "I will see you soon."

Feeling like he didn't want to let her go, he watched her exit the gate. "Goodbye, Elegia," he whispered after her.

She turned to face him, bearing a pained expression. "Goodbye, Severus," she returned. Just like the scene that played over and over in his memory, she turned on her heel and vanished once again.


	3. Chapter Two

It was night before she had the opportunity to leave for Spinner's End. The whole prospect of meeting with him had rattled her nerves; she hadn't been able to sleep the night before and the mere thought of eating repulsed her. It amazed her that the presence of the man she had once found so pleasing now terrified her to her wit's end. Only now did she remember that this was the very same feeling that had prompted her to leave so many years ago. She had forgotten how dreadfully painful it was to be in love; the fifteen long years she was away had dulled the pain considerably, almost to the point of non-existence. But it was all brought back in the single instance that she had laid eyes on him the previous night. She was old and tired now and seriously doubted she could take the strain all over again. But she knew she could not simply vanish. Not this time. She wouldn't be able to withstand the agony she saw reflected in those black eyes and the torture she knew she had caused him. She owed him more than she could ever imagine and the visit she was about to pay him was only the first step in what was bound to be a long and painful process.

Her heart felt like it was pounding its way out of her chest as she knocked on his heavy wooden door. There was the sound of footsteps within before the door came slowly open. He stood before her, draped as usual in a cloak of black, the man she both loved with all her heart and feared with all her being. He said nothing but looked at her with all the intense passion and loathing she'd seen the night before. She tried to smile but knew it must have looked more like a grimace. He smirked in return. It was the same kind of disapproving smile he gave most everyone. "Come in," he said, his voice as calm and silky as ever.

He led her into the living room. "Sit," he said, gesturing to one of the familiar, dusty armchairs. She settled uncomfortably into the stiff seat. He disappeared into the room behind her and came back moments later with two glasses of dark red liquid. Slipping one glass into her hand, he took the seat across from her.

"Thank you," she said quietly. She peered into the cup before taking a sip.

"I had started to think that you were not coming."

"I'm sorry I couldn't come any earlier." She hesitated before adding, "I was detained."

"By what, I wonder," he replied, fixing her with an icy stare.

She sighed and closed her eyes. She knew what answers he was looking for but she was not prepared to give them. He would use questions like these on her all night, a subtle ruse to open her mind to legilimency. She was quite a skilled occlumens but was much too tired to ward him off this night. Setting her glass down, she opened her eyes and leaned in closer. "Severus," she said weakly, "I can't imagine you ever forgiving me. I can't imagine you ever trusting me again." She paused a moment and with difficulty, began again. "I can't imagine I'll ever have the privilege of your companionship again. I can't take back what I did and I can't get back all the years I've been away. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and hope that you will give it to me. I do not deserve it, but I ask nonetheless."

He studied her for a long time, weighing everything that she said. When at last he spoke, he said, "For years I wondered if you were even alive. Why didn't you let me know you were safe?"

"I wish I could give you that answer."

"Why can't you?" he said through clenched teeth. She remained silent, staring at the floor. Whatever secrets she was harboring, she was not willing to give up. He knew no other as expert as himself at keeping quiet. Hurt as he was that she would not tell him what troubled her so, he knew that any more questions in that direction were pointless. At the least, it eased his mind to hear her plea for forgiveness. It may have been the single most sincere apology he'd ever received. He couldn't say he had forgiven her just yet, but it seemed a load of anxiety that had weighed upon him for years had vanished. He looked at her gently lined face, noticing again the infinite signs of exhaustion that seemed to emanate from her. "You look tired," he said quietly.

"I suppose I've been working harder lately," she said, relieved he'd changed the subject.

He raised an eyebrow. "Work?"

"With the Ministry of Magic. I'm an auror."

He felt a cold chill. This was more terrible than he could have imagined. The Dark Lord was convinced Elegia had been murdered. Deserters were frowned upon but any witch or wizard that betrayed the Dark Lord and fought for the Ministry would be put to death. "Have you been in contact with the Dark Lord?"

She frowned. "Of course not."

"You fool! If any of the other death eaters find out you've come back you'll be murdered! You must see him at once!"

She looked at him, taken aback. "You still consort with the Dark Lord? You're a Hogwarts professor!"

"I have no choice and neither do you!" he snapped. There was a rustling above them followed by footsteps on the stairs. Almost preternaturally Elegia tensed up, her senses working overtime. "Now is not the time to explain," he said more quietly. "I will explain in detail when there are fewer nuisances. I expect you will do the same."

The door to the stairway swung open, revealing the perpetrator to whom the footsteps belonged. Elegia and the rat-faced intruder stared at each other in shock and wonder.

"Peter Pettigrew?" Elegia murmured.

"Elegia Gravis," he muttered in return. "I thought you were murdered years ago!"

"I could say the same for you," she answered.

He smiled, a mouthful of pointed yellow teeth showing. "I knew you were out there."

Clearing his throat, Severus said, "I hate to break up this reunion but Elegia and I have business to attend to."

"I'll join you then," Peter whined.

"This is none of your concern. Go busy yourself with something," Severus snarled.

Unabashedly pouting, he exited the sitting room, dragging his feet on the way. After he'd gone, Elegia looked at Severus questioningly.

"He was found in animagus form a couple of years ago, posing as one of the Weasley's pets. Regrettably, the Dark Lord has placed him in my house for the time being." He paused. "I suppose you know what happened to Sirius Black?"

She nodded gravely. "Between the prison break, the murder, and the ordeal at the ministry…" Her eyes glazed over. In an otherworldly voice, she said, "Someone is coming."

Baffled by her behavior, Severus moved over to the window and looked out. Two figures were rapidly approaching his house. He couldn't mistake the silver-blonde hair glistening in the moon light. There was no doubt that it was Narcissa Malfoy and her wretched sister Bellatrix Lestrange.

"It's Narcissa and Bellatrix," he said, audibly surprised. "You'd better wait upstairs. The less people who know of your return the better." Still somewhat trance-like, she nodded and stood. "Wait in the last room on the left. I will come to you when they are gone."

She heard Severus muttering to Pettigrew not to mention her before there were knocks on the door. She crept quietly the rest of the length of the hall and slipped into the last door on the left as instructed. It was a bedroom, dusty and out of use like most of the rest of the house. She sat on the corner of the bed, folding her hands in her lap.

Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange, she thought. The three of them were once friends. When she'd made the decision to become and auror, she'd promised to swear off all companionships tied to her old life. She'd breached that promise the moment she set foot in this house. She'd longed to see all her old friends since she'd left and wondered if they thought of her. She wondered how they would react if they saw her now. Would they even recognize her? Time, she'd found, could do all sorts of things to a person's memory. It seemed funny to her now that no one had discovered her all these years. She'd been working with the ministry, though in another country. Still, it seemed word would travel.

Now that she was back, she knew she'd have to be more careful. A meeting with the Dark Lord might fix everything and then again, it might only make things worse. She knew he'd be angry but she'd incurred his wrath before. If she could gain his trust again, she could gain everyone's. But she would avoid a meeting if possible. She didn't want to destroy all the trust she'd built with the ministry.

There was a bang in the hallway and a shriek of pain that could have only come from Pettigrew. Startled, she walked out into the hallway to see what had happened. Peter was rubbing his forehead, his beady eyes squinted in pain.

"I would stay in your room if I were you," he said bitterly. As she walked back inside the bedroom, Peter followed. She looked at him uncertainly. She had a feeling things were about to get a little too personal. He drew closer to her and began to whisper. "So here you are after all these years. Where have you been?"

"Hiding. Same as you," she answered simply.

"You're not hiding from the Dark Lord, are you?"

"Of course not. I've come back to reunite with him."

"Why have you been gone so long? Surely you knew he was back ages ago."

She brushed absentmindedly at her forearm, the arm that bore the dark mark that had tarnished her reputation for the past fifteen years. "I was afraid I was going to be let down. I didn't want to act until I was completely sure he was back."

He eyed her suspiciously but continued on in the same manner. "Well, he'll be glad to have you back. He always had a finger on you, I say."

As he began to leave the room, she called out, "Peter? Please don't tell Him or anyone else about my being here. I want to present myself to the Dark Lord before any one else finds out I'm back."

"You have my word," he replied with a toothy yellow smile.

After he was gone, she sighed. His word was as worthless as he was. She had no idea she would be thrown into as big a mess as this. She almost wished she'd never come back; she could still be ghost in the minds of all she knew. Her head aching, she wanted to return home so she could rest. She wondered if the Black sisters were close to leaving. She knew she couldn't leave without warning Severus or things would be worse than they already were.

Quietly, she eased out of the bedroom and down the hallway. Proceeding down the stairs, she listened at the door to see if she heard any voices. "I will," she heard Severus's voice say followed by a wispy noise. A sense of dread was overwhelming her as she gently pushed the door open and put an eye to the crack. There knelt on the ground were Severus and Narcissa, hands clasped with three fiery red links surrounding them. Bellatrix stood behind them, her wand in hand. The Unbreakable Vow had just been performed. Whatever they were, she knew in her heart the promises he'd just made were about to change things for the worse. She gently closed the door shut and sank down against the stairs. Covering her mouth with her hand, she closed her eyes and sobbed soundlessly.


End file.
