Closer 1. Chapter 1

**New idea, new story! I'm so excited right now! I really hope you like it :)**

**Warning: this fic might get rather dark and angsty somewhere in the middle... (SPOILER: **I don't like unhappy endings, so don't worry**)**

"May I join you? It seems a bit silly to both be having dinner on our own."

Brenda Leigh asked in her usual southern brawl, her lips curving into what she hoped was a charming smile. she'd been sitting a few tables away, her body slightly angled so she could inconspicuously observe the man from a distance. Everything about him screamed business, from his expensive suit to his perfectly polished shoes. Even his order emanated an impressive taste and, above all, money. she'd waited for the waitress to disappear around the corner, knowing it would be the right moment to make a move. Smoothly she walked over to his table, glad she had taken the time earlier today to practice walking in the 5 inch heels she was currently wearing. Coming to a halt in front of the man, she tried to ignore the familiar uncomfortableness. In her career as a CIA agent she'd gotten quite some experience with undercover operations. The job had demanded her to assumed a whole different persona on many different occasions. However, the nervousness never seemed to go away completely. Then again, maybe it was supposed to be that way. Going undercover was tricky and the combination of nerves and adrenaline definitely made her more alert. Right now, however, she was a little too much on edge, her muscles felt stiff and tense, uncooperative even. It didn't surprise her that much though, after all it had been a while since she'd last done this kind of thing. She pushed the feeling aside, maintaining the smile on her face, relief washing over her when the man nodded slightly and gestured to the chair on the opposite side of his table.

"you may, chief Johnson, I was starting to wonder when you were going to ask."

It felt like her inside had turned to ice at the mention of her name and for a moment she actually forgot how to breathe. How did he know? How could he possibly know? She forced herself to keep looking at the man, no muscle in her face moved. It was one of the benefits of the extensive training and the amount of experience she had, after all, it wasn't the first time her cover was blown. And yet, she couldn't deny that it had caught her of guard.

"Come on Chief, give me some credit, I did my homework. Besides, you're not really my type."

_"__What is it lieutenant?"_

_Brenda was not happy to be woken at 2 am in the morning, especially when she realised it was work. By now you'd think she'd be accustomed to late night cases, but that really was one of the things she'd never get used to._

_"__Chief, we've got a new case. Well, not exactly new, but still. Well it's new to us."_

_Provenza sounded like his usual grumpy self, rambling on unintelligibly._

_"__Lieutenant could you please explain to me what that's supposed to mean?"_

_She interrupted him in a not so friendly tone. Though, who could blame her, she was sleep deprived and really not in the mood to solve riddles._

_"__Ah, yes it is kind of complicated. A body was found in the park, public space, so technically it's ours. The problem is, this murder might be connected to the case robbery/homicide has been working on for the last five months."_

_He sighed audibly, and Brenda could almost hear his eye roll through the phone._

_"__Might be?"_

_By now she was up and moving, trying to find a dress that was stain free and not crinkled. Holding her phone between her shoulder and her ear, she attempted to smooth down the material of the floral dress that was flung over a chair. _

_"__It's the same MO, same suspect, same boyfriend. Though I suppose the final two are linked."_

_She crouched down to put on her shoes, all while still holding on to her phone and fishing her car keys out of her bag. _

_"__I'll be right there."_

"Not his type? What does he mean not his type?!"

Chief Johnson was pacing the floor in front of the murder board. Her team awkwardly following their superior officer with their eyes.

"Chief, you're not really upset because you're not McGarry's type, are you?"

Dectective Sanchez was the first brave enough to voice what they were all thinking.

"I'm not upset! I'm frustrated! I've been staring at this board for more than an hour now. Look at them, He doesn't have a type."

She gestured at the pictures of their three victims. They all seemed to be vastly different and it was getting on her nerves. She hated the moments when she couldn't figure out a link, a connection between people, or between certain events.

"Well, I wouldn't say he doesn't have a type - "

Provenza started slowly, almost cautiously. Having been on the receiving end of the chief Johnson's wrath countless times, he knew to be wary of her in a situation like this. Seeing her swirl around to send him a piercing look, he decided that caution was definitely desired.

"You see, these women were all, how do I put this…. Ah, they were all classy ladies-"

Ouch, big mistake, he realised almost immediately after he said it.

"Are you suggesting I'm not a classy lady?"

Brenda asked, trying to look indignant, but failing. She always liked to think that she didn't care about such trivial things as appearance, liked to think she was above that sort of thing, and yet, deep down, she knew that she wasn't. With her southern accent and underdeveloped sense of style, as Captain Raydor had very kindly pointed out before her interview with the mayor, she couldn't help feeling boorish and crass compared to some of the women of LA.

"What Provenza is trying to say" Gabriel quickly interfered. "Is that you have your own kind of charm, but for this job we need someone a little more elegant and refined."

No, he was definitely not making it sound any better than Provenza had. However, Brenda opted not to dwell on the implications of his statement. She was a professional after all.

"Great, so how are we gonna find someone like that, huh? LAPD women aren't exactly known for their finesse…"

She was going to say a lot more, but was cut off by a cough from Provenza.

"Well…"

She turned to look in the same direction as him, her heart immediately dropping as she realised who he was staring at.

"No way."


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter two! A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed/favourited/followed already.**

**To Briel's Angel: Yes, I am planning on partly making this an Andy/Sharon love story, however I never know where my brain takes me...**

**oh and I forgot this last time, I do not own the characters of the closer, which is rather obvious, because I wouldn't be on fanfiction if they were :). Enjoy!**

"Captain Raydor? Are you out of your mind?!"

While whispering, Brenda's eyes were glued to the brunette sitting in the far corner of the murder room, chatting amiably with Gavin Baker. It never ceased to amaze her how well the formidable Captain got along with basically everyone outside the LAPD. Where she herself had trouble dealing with her flamboyant lawyer, Sharon seemed to have a very special kind of bond with him. Though what surprised Brenda even more was learning that Doctor Morales actually adored the woman who, even on the best of days, had the tendency of getting on her nerves.

"Chief, you know I dislike that woman just as much as the next person, but she sure as hell is McGarry's type, I mean even I can admit she's kinda nice to look at. Plus, if anyone has a great poker face, it's her."

Provenza threw his hands in the air in a defensive manner, sending a poignant look at Buzz who raised one eyebrow at his attempt to avoid calling Raydor pretty.

"I'm not saying she doesn't meet the, what is word… the criteria, I'm saying that this is a bad idea. First of all, Captain Raydor has her own job to do, which she can't continue if she becomes part of a full blown undercover operation. Pope is going to have my ass if I as much as make the suggestion. And secondly, she's not gonna to do it."

Her eyes kept flitting back to where Raydor was situated, her voice low to avoid being overheard. Provenza had definitely lost it, she decided. Okay, the Captain was one of those women who she envied for their seemingly effortless elegance, but come on, it was Raydor."

"Actually," Gabriel avoided the sharp look that was send his way. "convincing Pope isn't necessarily going to be a problem. Three women have been murdered in the last four months, the case is receiving a lot of media attention and so far we only have one lead. Pope's under a lot of pressure to have the case solved, he's going to jump at the opportunity to do so, provided it's presented in the right way."

She knew he had a point, but she was still reluctant. She wasn't exactly looking forward to all the grovelling she'd most likely have to do to get Raydor to participate. Slowly she looked at her detectives, seeking support.

"Well, I agree with the Chief, it's a bad idea. Raydor is not used to undercover operations. If McGarry really is our guy, she could get seriously hurt…."

Lieutenant Flynn unexpectedly came to her aid, leaving the sentence hanging in the air.

"Exactly. Raydor is head of Internal Affairs, we all know she mostly deals with paperwork."

Brenda repressed the urge to sigh in relief. The Captain had definitely grown on her in the past few months and she'd certainly been helpful on more occasions than she cared to admit, but the prospect of having to work with her on an even more regular basis wasn't a nice one.

"You didn't see her shoot that suspect between the eyes." Tao casually joined to the conversation, pausing momentarily before adding, "with a beanbag gun."

Julio held the red object in the air with a grin on his face. The image of Raydor taking down the guy without moving a muscle was still fresh in his memory.

"Chief, I hate to say this, but it's not like we've got a lot of options."

Gabriel said with an air of finality. Brenda grudgingly nodded, knowing that once again he was right. There was a killer on the loose and right now they had no way of pinning the murder on him.

"_What do you mean your prime suspect has an alibi for all three times? Then, why is he a suspect in the first place?"_

_Brenda Leigh Johnson questioned the commanding officer of Robbery/Homicide in the same sharp way she would a suspect. The relationship between the two departments was difficult at times, not helped by the fact that this wasn't the first case were Major Crimes took over._

_"__Well, maybe it is because he was dating all three of our victims before they suddenly got murdered. Doesn't that sound just a little suspicious to you?"_

_Lieutenant Wilson countered equally sharp. It wasn't that he didn't like chief Johnson as a person, he barely knew the woman, so he was hardly in a position to judge. However, in a professional capacity she could definitely be a nuisance. _

_"__Would you like me to bring you up to speed or not?"_

_He asked before she could counter his comment. Nuisance or not, he knew he could count on her to focus on the job rather than continuing this petty argument, or whatever it was. And even though it was frustrating having to hand over the case they'd been working on for over four months, he intended on doing the same. _

_"__The victim's name's Lara James, 46, she worked at St. Katherine's as a neurosurgeon. Time of death: approximately eleven am. Cause of death: the carotid arteries were cut."_

_Brenda crouched down to look at the middle aged woman. Her reddish hair was splayed under her head like a fan, clumps of blood drying between in the strands. There was dirt on her face and dress, most likely from ground she was lying on. _

_"__Why are you so sure this murder is linked with the previous two?"_

_Brenda wondered out loud. If her information was correct, the other two victims were stabbed to death, rather than having their throat slit. _

_"__See that cut underneath the right collarbone? It was the same with the other victims."_

_Indeed there was a small incision, shaped almost like a curl, right beneath the collarbone. Upon closer inspection she noticed it was a letter, yes she was almost certain it was a G. _

_"__It's like a signature, I suppose. Always in the same spot."_


	3. Chapter 3

**_So not the longest chapter, but hopefully you all like it. Enjoy and please let me know what you think_**

_"__What about McGarry?"_

_Brenda asked lieutenant Wilson while getting up and walking away from the victim._

_"__What about him?"_

_Really for such a good detective, which he undoubtedly was, the head of Robbery/Homicide could be extremely daft at times._

_"__What did he have to say for himself?"_

_She clarified. She had been a police officer long enough to know that alibis could be faked, yet the fact that there current suspect had three different alibis made it less plausible. Not that they were all equally reliable, but still. One was a meeting with his business partner, one with a client and one was his brother. The circumstances were suspicious, he'd dated all three victims for about a month until they showed up dead. Another thing that bothered her was his lack of grievance, given the time span of the murders he moved on real quickly. Yet, she needed to keep in mind that there remained a possibility that the man was innocent._

_"__Says he didn't do it, that he must've been framed and we looked into that, but so far nothing."_

_She cast a last look on the victim before moving on, lieutenant Wilson in her wake._

_"__We can take it from here, thank you. If you could send the tapes from earlier interrogations to Buzz please."_

_She said over her shoulder, dismissing the man behind her. This just became a little more complex. If the man was telling the truth and someone really was trying to frame him this case could become messy real quick. Brenda knew from experience that lots of emotions were involved in those cases._

_"__detective Sanchez, lieutenant Tao, please run a background check on McGarry's alibis. Sergeant Gabriel, Buzz, lieutenant Wilson is going to send you the previous interviews with the suspect, see if there's anything interesting."_

_She divided the tasks between her subordinate officers. As they took off, she stood with her hands firmly planted on her hips, watching them hurry away, leaving her with lieutenants Flynn and Provenza. _

_"__What are we going to do?"_

_Provenza asked gruffly, looking at her sideways._

_"__Well obviously interviewing McGarry yet again would be a waste of time, since robbery/homicide were gracious enough to have checked his alibi already. I'd say it's time to try something different, don't you?"_

"Excuse me?"

Uh oh, that really wasn't the right thing to say Brenda realised as soon as Sharon's voice changed from her usual alto to a low and dangerous tone. The conversation hadn't started out well in the first place. Not that she'd expected it to. Raydor had been dismissive of the plan, arguing that "_some people actually had a job to do"._ The nerve of that woman! She'd been up since … am, she knew what it was like to have a job thank you very much. But that was beside the point. No, the exact moment when all went wrong was the moment the captain had sent her what she liked to call the eyebrow of death. Though she was sure there were a few more original names in circulation. She had said it in a flare of frustration, the worst possible thing to say in the current situation. _"I could always phrase it as an order."_ She had hissed before thinking better of it.

"Need I remind you that this is well beyond my job description?"

She was right of course. Why did she always have to be right?

"I know, I know, I can't order you to help me, but think of the victims. Three women have already been brutally murdered and if this continues in the same rate, we'll soon be adding a new picture to the board."

Silence followed, in which Brenda tried to gauge the Captain's reaction.

"I know you care about this sort of thing."

She continued when the silence became uncomfortable. Raydor looked pensive and she was certain that the woman was at least considering her proposal.

"Well, I need to finish my audit somehow and I am not leaving this task to anyone else in my division as long as you and your team continue to be uncooperative."

Oh that woman! Trust her to bring up the stupid audit. Nevertheless, annoying as it may be, she could see where the Captain was coming from. Major Crimes division hadn't exactly been helpful to her, but Brenda was sure that they would trample anyone else from IA. Grudgingly she had to admit to herself that is wasn't an unfair request.

"Let's make a deal then, you participate in this operation and I'll make sure whoever replaces you on the audit will receive full cooperation from every single member of my team. You have my word. And you'll have this week to tie some loose ends yourself, giving us time to come up with a plausible background story for you."

For a moment Raydor stared at her with those piercing green eyes of hers, her head slightly tilted, her lips pursed. Then she nodded slowly, and Brenda felt relief wash over her. She'd already suspected that, despite the whole façade, Raydor did care, but using that information as an argument had been a bit of a gamble.

"Deal"

Sharon was almost out of the door when she turned around again to look at Brenda.

"Oh and Chief? I want to catch this guy just as much as you do."

There was a kind of determination in the her voice that Brenda hadn't heard before. Of course the captain was the epitome of cool persistence, but this was something else entirely. More like the smouldering remnants of a fire, ready to burst into flames at the slightest hint of a breeze.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4, really hope you like it! I tried to write a slightly longer chapter this time. Please let me know what you think.**

"We could call her Rose."

Upon the mention of the name, Provenza turned around wearing an indignant look on his grouchy face. With one eyebrow raised, he threw his hands up to the air in a gesture of mock despair.

"Rose? We can pick any name, literally any name for the Captain and you settle for Rose? Think of all the possibilities Sanchez. Not to mention the fact that no sane person's ever gonna believe her name is Rose."

Sanchez stood up from his seat in order to stand face to face with the old lieutenant.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He asked with only the barest hint of anger, or was it annoyance? Brenda couldn't figure it out, not with the growing headache that had plagued her all morning.

"It means that some names just don't fit certain people. The captain could never pass as Rose, it would be ridiculous."

Provenza replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Secretly she had to agree with him, even the thought of Raydor as a "Rose" just didn't make sense.

"Well, he doesn't know her, does he? So what's the problem?"

Maybe Sanchez was right, maybe it had more to do with personality. Why was she even thinking about this? It didn't matter why, she just wanted this whole thing over with."

"Okay stop this right there! We're here to come up with a background story and to make all the necessary arrangements. We are not here to bicker about a name."

At long last she stopped the two bickering officers. Sometimes it felt as if she was a kindergarten teacher instead of a Deputy Chief, though deep down she knew she liked it that way. If she was honest with herself, she liked it when her team could make such a big deal of small things. She found that it helped keeping all of their spirits up, but this was simply not the right time.

"Well, why don't we just call her Kate? It's simple, it's neutral.."

Gabriel came to her rescue and she was more than happy to run with his proposal.

"Fine, Kate it is, can we move on now? "

She directed her last comment at Sanchez and Provenza, quietly warning them. And, apparently, failing, because while she glared at him the old lieutenant had already opened his mouth again.

"But chief, think about it, this is an opportunity. There are so many possibilities. How many times do we get to call the Captain ….."

Brenda knew that whatever name he was going to suggest wasn't going to be pretty, but this time she did not have to interfere. Instead lieutenant Flynn, who had been remarkably silent during the whole discussion, managed to shut his partner up.

"Cut the crap Provenza, this is a serious operation."

For a moment Andy stopped in front of his old friend, who looked at him in what could only be described as shock. Come to think of it, Brenda realised, it really was odd that Flynn had been so quiet. Usually he would've definitely taken a position in the argument, whether agreeing with his partner of not. After a few seconds he broke eye contact and stormed off.

"What's wrong with him?"

Provenza sounded genuinely confused, and maybe just a bit concerned.

Andy didn't understand why he reacted the way he did, all he knew was that every little bit of the conversation had put him more on edge till the point he broke. Only now he realized he had stalked off into the elevator, which was now going down. The number eight lighted up, FID's floor, _her _floor. Suddenly he felt the urge to halt the elevator and for a split second he hand hovered above the stop button. No, bad idea. What was he going to say? That she was making a mistake? Yeah, that would go well…. It would sound too much like he was questioning her competence. Yet, he couldn't help feeling uneasy nor could he stop the bad feeling that had developed in the pit of his stomach. He had meant what he'd said earlier, something could go terribly wrong, they were not just dealing with any criminal, they were dealing with a serial killer. The possibilities of scenarios, of thing that could happen flashed through his mind at top speed, all involving the disturbing contrast between pale skin and red blood. He chastised himself, trying to push away the unwelcome thoughts. Shaking his head, he told himself there was no point in imagining the worst. Gabriel was right, Raydor was a decent cop, she could take care of herself. Yet, why was he feeling so bad about the whole thing?

With one flick of a switch the lights in the condo sprung to life. Sharon sighed as she was finally able to take off the black manolos from her aching feet. The dull pain remained as a constant reminder of the long day she'd had, but at least now she could replace the uncomfortable heels for her trusty uggs. Tiredness had crept up on her on the way home and by now the only thing she wanted to do was having a long relaxing soak in a warm bath. Turning on the tabs, she stayed in the bathroom long enough to make sure the water had the right temperature, before making it to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of white wine. The silence in the condo which should've been a welcoming oasis of peace felt restricting while she leant against the counter, drinking her wine. She kept convincing herself she was not suffering from empty nest syndrome, after all, most of the time she was fine on her own. More than fine even, she would say. It was just that one moment, only minute or two after opening her front door. Some nights where worse than others, but on each and every one of them she felt that tiny pang in her chest, knowing it was just her in the modern condo. Coming home to an empty house was not something she'd gotten used to yet, nor did she think she ever would. At moments like these she really missed having her children around, even when they were in their moody teenagers mode. Not that she wasn't proud of them, in fact, she couldn't have been more proud of them. They were growing up, and quite nicely so. Still, she couldn't help missing them from time to time. She sometimes even missed Jack, strange as it may be. Not the man he was now, she could very well do without him. No, at times she missed the man she loved and married all those years ago.

She scolded herself for being so sentimental all of a sudden, blaming it on the tiring day she had. Though maybe it was something else, maybe it had more to do with a certain deal she'd made with a certain deputy chief. What on earth had she been thinking, anyway? Accepting the Chief Johnson's proposal so readily. She worked in Internal Affairs for goodness sake, had done so for years and years now. No matter how easy and, above all, tempting Brenda had made it sound, she realised now that agreeing to do an undercover operation with the very people that had dubbed her the Wicked Witch, if you please, was the stupidest thing she'd ever done. Well, maybe not the stupidest, but definitely top three. Why they'd even asked her was above her, though come to think of it, it wouldn't surprise her if this turned out to be one big joke. An undercover operation? Her? the thought alone was preposterous.

'Oh, get your act together, Sharon!' For the second time this evening she scolded herself. She knew Brenda Leigh Johnson well enough to know that she didn't joke around about work. Besides, she had looked so genuinely relieved at the end of the conversation, it had to be real. Doubt washed over her, like a cold wave crashing onto the shore. Could she really do this? She wasn't exactly the youngest anymore and it definitely had been a while since she'd done anything remotely like this. On the other hand, she'd already agreed, which practically meant the end of discussion. Whatever second thoughts she was experiencing, she also realised that she wouldn't act on them, simply because she wasn't that kind of person. She had given the Chief her word and that settled it. Also, Brenda had been right, she did care and after seeing the pictures of the three women, still in the prime of their lives, she really did want to catch the bastard.


	5. Chapter 5

**okay, so I have no idea what just happened with uploading this chapter, I blame it on the wifi here, but I hope this one's clear. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.**

It was early, the murder room was still empty, filled only with the first rays of morning sun. The blinds of chief Johnson's office were drawn and if anyone was to accidently stop at Major Crimes floor it would seem as if the place was deserted. Yet behind the closed door, Brenda was already pacing the floor in front of her desk. In just two days the undercover operation would start and surprisingly she found it much more difficult to handle when she wasn't the one going undercover. Though, perhaps that shouldn't surprise her, after all she liked control, she liked knowing that if something went wrong she was the only one to blame and the only one to face the consequences. That knowledge was exactly what kept her focused and, maybe more importantly, calm. Right now however, her body was filled with a unfamiliar nervousness, the kind that made her feel powerless. Tomorrow evening, Raydor was going to go out there and even though they were prepared, she knew that if something went seriously wrong there was little she or her team could do for the captain. That, to be honest, worried her. She momentarily stopped pacing to look at her watch : seven thirty. Her detectives would be arriving soon. First Lieutenant Tao, punctual as always, followed by Gabriel and Sanchez, and lastly, of course, Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza. Her team was predictable like that and she couldn't deny she appreciated it. She knew she could count on each of them, knew their strengths and weaknesses, knew how to use those to their advantage. With one swift motion she opened the blinds to watch them come in one by one in the usual order. She smiled when provenza and flynn arrived bickering, though her face immediately fell a bit when she realised it wasn't one of their standard arguments. No, they certainly weren't joking about this time.

"What is wrong with you? You used to joke about her too, remember? And now all of a sudden you get all testy and defensive. If I didn't know better..."

Provenza's voice carried a the way to her office, she could see he making angry gestures with his hands.

"then what? no, seriously, then what?! Make fun of her all you want, see if I care, but don't joke about that!"

Flynn responded, sounding equally angry. However underneath it all he felt confused. His partner had a good point, not that he would ever tell him that, but still. What was wrong with him? It had all started with that ridiculous plan to involve Sharon in their case. Sharon, no wait Raydor, Captain Raydor. After that, every comment involving that stupid operation had him flying off the handle. But why? He didn't understand himself anymore and it certainly didn't help that his friends now was demanding answers he did not have. He was bracing himself for the next remark, which would've certainly come hadn't Chief Johnson interfered.

"Lieutenants, good morning to you too. If you don't mind I'd like to use this time to review everything for tomorrow once again, make sure we haven't missed anything."

Her voice was sweet, but Andy knew immediately that she was serious. He shot his partner one last glare before turning his attention to his superior officer.

"So we have the ID's, credit card under the false name, background story ready and

verifiable since our suspect might very well check, we've established a safe line of contact, we've prepped Raydor, made sure she has temporary housing. Is there anything we've overlooked?"

A silence fell in which looks were exchanged between the team. Lieutenant shrugged before he went back to his crossword puzzle owning another glare from Andy.

"Well, this is not necessarily something we need, but maybe we should discuss the complications of our last attempt. We might need to consider a new approach."

Mike Tao went off on one of his well-known ramblings, but before provenza could halt him with a sarcastic remark, Brenda stepped in, ignoring the latter's grumpy expression.

"Approach as in….?"

She left the sentence hanging in the air, knowing that asking Tao a question, however simple, could have disastrous result. On the other hand, she also realised that the man often had a good point, even if expressing it took him way longer than the average person. And though some moments it could be frustrating, there were also times when she was grateful for his extreme thoroughness. This moment was one of them, they could not afford to drop the ball on this.

"Last time you came to McGarry, pursued him so to speak, which would be fine had it been anyone but him."

The lieutenant started to explain, eying his boss wearily. perhaps he was anticipating a reaction similar to the one she had last week. But Brenda did not feel inclined to repeat that particular incident, which she wrote off as a moment of temporary insecurity.

"I'm listening."

Brenda spurred him on a little, trying to keep the impatience she was feeling out of her voice.

"It's just that McGarry seems the type of man who likes to do the pursuing, that's why I thought it might be a good idea if we make sure that he comes to Raydor instead of the other way around. Also that way he is less likely to get suspicious."

1chief Johnson nodded slowly, taking in the meaning behind his words. It made sense of course, the man definitely was a skirt chaser.

"The only question is, how do we make sure he does?"

This was a serious and important operation, after all. They could not just wait and see if McGarry would take the bait, they needed to make the option as attractive to him as possible.

"Can I suggest something?"

It was buzz, who had arrived in the middle of the conversation.

"I know guys like that, they always want what they can't have. The key to this is making it seem like Raydor somehow isn't a hundred percent available. If I were you I would send someone with her, let them pretend they're on a date, then call him away after aperitifs."

Buzz finished looking expectantly at the deputy chief. on his face there was a mixture of pride and insecurity, indicating he was hoping for her aproval.

"You have watched too many movies buzz."

Provenza laughed until he saw the poorly veiled hurt in his colleagues eyes. In the meanwhile Brenda's mind was rapidly weighing all the pros and cons. It had become asecond nature to her really, to calculate each and every possible situation.

"It's not a bad idea Buzz, but I'm afraid we can't find someone to participate on such a short notice."

She meant it. it would've been a good plan, she really believed it could've worked, however involving a new party this late just wasn't a good plan. Last minute changes were mostly hasty and sloppy, which she normally wouldn't mind that much, but now was not the time.

"Well, I could do it? "

Flynn stood up from behind his desk, sounding almost hopeful, strangely enough.

"Don't be stupid Flynn, the guy knew the chief, he's definitely gonna know you."

Provenza voiced Brenda's own thoughts, though maybe with a little more sarcasm, just a little.

"Exactly, and I don't want to bring someone new in. end of story"

That settled it then, or so she thought. however she hadn't even closed her mouth when detective Sanchez spoke up.

"Of course there is someone who could do it, who would do it if you asked him asked him chief."

Oh no, oh no, this better wasn't going where she thought it was going. She shook her head in disbelief. He wouldn't, would he? Unfortunately Provenza chose that precise moment to crush the last bit of hope she was clinging to.

"Ah, our friendly FBI liason, of course."

so, quick recap, she thought to herself: first she had to go to Raydor for help and now they wanted to ask her husband to pretend to be all cosy with her? This was ridiculous, what did she do to deserve this? The worst of it was that she was actually considering doing it. What other choice did they have? Besides she was a professional, she could keep her privet life and her work life separated, and so could Fritzi. It wasn't as if she didn't trust him. because she knew she could, also a lot could be said about Raydor, but making a move on a married man? No she wasn't the type for it. Also, Brenda knew for a fact that the Captain was married herself. No, that wasn't what she was worried about, worried was not the right word to begin with. Brenda couldn't put her finger on what was bugging her, all she knew was that she couldn't be less enthusiastic about the idea. Why did it have to be fritz? And with that woman of all people. Maybe she was just feeling protective, maybe it didn't have anything to do with Raydor, or the setting, but rather with involving him at all. Yet, she realised this might very well be their best chance at nailing McGarry, or whoever had been responsible for the three murders.

"Alright then, I could ask."

She conceded, knowing that her job sometimes required her to disregard her personal feelings on some matters.

"Tonight."

She added when her detectives looked at her as if they expected her to call her husband right there and then.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6! Quite proud of myself for managing to upload this within a reasonable amount of time :). ****Thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/favourited so far. ****Hope you all enjoy it! And as always I'd like to know what you think.**

The ride up in the elevator felt like the longest she'd ever experienced in her career with the LAPD. She was standing alone in the small space, the pounding of her heart loud as hammers in the silence around her. All the way up, she kept her eyes glued to the numbers lighting up one by one, while her fingers fiddled nervously with the hem of her dress. 3.. 4... 5... Almost there. Not for the first time that week she wondered whether she was making a terrible mistake. She was getting to old for this. A mirthless laugh escaped her lips involuntarily, making her clasp her hand over her mouth. The sound echoed between the four was in a grotesque parody of her own voice. The way to the ninth floor shouldn't have taken longer than a minute, but for Sharon it felt as if time had slowed down. Like a car crash, taking only a split second to happen and yet lasting long enough for a thousand thoughts to cross your mind. That's what it felt like, though she knew that it was her mind moving faster and not the elevator moving slower. Hesitation and doubt coursed through her like venom, had done so for days now, but there was also something else, something she didn't recognise at first, or maybe she just didn't want to. It was a determination to prove herself, to show Major Crimes that she wasn't just a hall monitor. She tried to push away the feeling, deeming it childish and unprofessional. Besides she liked her job in IA, she didn't need an undercover operation to know she was a good cop.

Still, every now and then she found it hard to work in FID. She knew how major crimes, and basically all the other departments viewed her, she was not stupid. She'd be lying if she said she didn't care, but she also understood fully well that, in order to do her job, she needed to be the bad guy. Maybe that's why it had felt so good to get out there and shoot that guy between the eyes, to be stared at in admiration instead of contempt. The expressions of bafflement and awe had meant a great deal to her, though she would deny it if anyone ever asked her. In that moment she realised she had forgotten what it was like to fit in, to belong, even if it had just been for a moment. Which might have been partly why she had said yes to Chief Johnson's proposal. She felt ridiculous. She was an adult for goodness sake! Yet she was acting like some sort of teenager. Had it been any other occasion it would've been almost comical how her interactions with major crimes made her feel like she was in high school again. but it wasn't any other occasion and she definitely did not find it funny.

After one last attempt to pull the hem of her dress down she gave up and started fidgeting with the neckline instead. It had seemed like the perfect choice for what she was about to do, but the closer she came to the ninth floor, the more uncomfortable she felt. it was a black, formfitting number, ending a bit above her knees. The straps were resting on the edge of her shoulder in a wide, slightly plunging V. nothing too revealing, however in comparison with to usual power suits it made her feel exposed. She couldn't even remember when she had last worn it. The only reason she knew she had it was because she accidently stumbled across it a few weeks ago. Not sure whether to keep it or throw it away, she had left it hanging in the back of her closet. Now she wished she had disposed of it and picked something different to wear, something she felt more confident in.

"For the last time Brenda, could you please be a little clearer?"

Fritz asked his wife after the umpteenth vague explanation of his role in the undercover operation.

"Well you just have to sit in the restaurant until you get a phonecall, after which you leave. oh and you are one a date with captain raydor, did I mention that."

Come again? Fritz resisted the urge to laugh out loud. No, she had not mention that, he was absolutely certain that she hadn't. No wonder she was acting all strange, she was sending him on a pretended date with the very woman she'd been complaining about for the last two years. Well, he supposed it could've been worse. contrary to his wife, he actually quite liked the Captain, but maybe that was because he wasn't the subject of one of her investigations.

"The captain has very graciously agreed to help us with our case."

Brenda continued, clenching her teeth. she knew her husband was finding this ordeal amusing, she could see the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Okay so we're on a date. is there any particular way you want me to act?"

Fritz quickly said, after a sharp glance from Brenda. Knowing this was not the time to push her buttons.

"Just occasionally stare at her rack, you'll be fine."

Provenza said dryly and for once Fritz was grateful for the old man's bluntness. After a the hints and implications from his wife, it was a welcome change. Yes it was crude, but at least this was something he could work with.

"Just make it seem like she is something special. So yes, a couple of stares, good manners, maybe the occasional touch, that should do it."

Lieutenant Tao specified shortly after Provenza's comment, providing some more details. Fritz nodded slowly. Okay, so now it made sense, which was a relief really. He always like to think that he was quite flexible and that he could make things up along the way, but he preferred to know what he was generally supposed to do before actually doing it.

"I should be able to manage that."

He joked, the sound of his laugh drowning out the familiar ding of the elevator. Standing with his back to the exit, It was only when he saw the drastic change in Flynn's face that he realised that captain Raydor had arrived.

"Good evening, gentlemen. Chief."

Was it just him or did her voice waver a little bit? He turned around, understanding immediately why everyone was looking so weirdly. The woman in front of him was definitely Sharon Raydor, the only thing was she didn't look like her. Well she looked like her, of course, because it was her, and yet she looked so different. Her hair was more curled and swept to one side, her make-up somehow made her look softer, but what really caught his attention was her dress. It was tight, and certainly more revealing than anything else he'd ever seen her wearing. And well, the neckline…. Let's just say her cleavage was quite prominent. Had anyone else been wearing the exact same dress, Fritz wouldn't have thought anything of it. No, the thing that had him gawping wasn't the dress, it was very elegant and, more importantly, appropriate, it was the person wearing it. The captain looked like a totally different person without her usual attire. He blinked, suddenly realising he had been staring.

"Captain Raydor, good evening to you too."

He managed to mumble a greeting. The corners of her mouth curled into a small smile when they made eye contact. He had to admit she looked beautiful. Yes he was married and yes he loved his wife very much, but he wasn't blind.

"Is something wrong lieutenant Flynn?"

Her voice was steady again when she addressed Flynn in a clipped tone .As one they all turned to look at Andy, who closed his mouth just a second too late.

"Err, It's nothing, really. You… You look nice.":

You look nice? That was all he could say? Andy scolded himself. He couldn't look away, she was breathtaking. When it registered to him what he was thinking he felt even more confused than before . This was Raydor he was talking about. Rule book Raydor. The Wicked Witch of the West. Head of the rat squad. Okay, so he had always found her rather sexy, not that he would ever tell that to anyone, but so what? It was just a superficial thing, a little physical attraction, nothing more than that. He'd always supposed it was because of the whole 'being in charge' thing. And, of course, she was pretty. Yet seeing her like this, looking vulnerable for a moment, just a split second really, it made him realise that there was a side to her that she kept safely hidden. She probably had a whole other life outside of work that none of them knew about. Didn't she mention she had kids? And something about skiing? He couldn't quite remember. Maybe like him she enjoyed cooking or going to the theatre or taking long baths. Oh oh, don't go there, he pushed away the thought. But the damage was already done, because all of a sudden he felt the urge to get to know her, not just as the head of IA, but as a person.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7. I'm afraid it's not my finest work, but it will have to do... I hope you still enjoy it and, as always, I'd like to know what you think.**

"Are you alright?"

They were sitting next to each other in the car, waiting for the line for the valet parking to disappear. Sharon had been quiet all the way to the restaurant, her gaze fixed on the road. Fritz had glanced at her every now and then, trying to wordlessly reassure her, but she kept looking straight ahead.

"I'm fine. I think."

She said eventually, her voice barely more than a whisper. He could feel her stiffen even more in the passenger's seat, if that was even possible. She had already been tense when she got in the car, he could tell by the position of her shoulders, which were slightly higher than usual, and the subtle pout of her lips. She did not at all seem fine.

"You sure?"

He cautiously asked her, even though he realised that she probably didn't want to talk about. In his defence, he would've probably stopped after the first question. But the quietness of her voice, the little moment of hesitation made him press her a little before leaving the matter alone.

"No, but I will be."

The sudden honesty of her answer took him by surprise. he would never claim to know Sharon Raydor well, but she had always struck him as a very private person, the kind of person who kept it all inside. He definitely didn't expect her to admit she was anything less than fine. And, even now, he was convinced it was something she very rarely did. That was probably why Brenda was found the captain so infuriating, even though fritz had, from time to time, detected the exact same trait in her. Glancing up at the line in front of them he realised that it was almost their turn and judging by the way her hands curled into fists on her lap, he knew she had seen it too.

"Sharon," He began, suddenly feeling the need to reassure her. "I know we're supposed to be as convincing as possible and I will, but if there's anything you're not comfortable with, I need you to let me know."

Even though he was under strict instructions to 'cop a feel every now and then', as lieutenant Provenza had very eloquently put it, he considered himself a gentleman and part of that meant making sure she was okay. In addition to that, she'd been showing signs of nervousness from the moment she had walked into the murder room, which he didn't want to make any worse. Not that he didn't believe he she could pull it together, no, if anyone would be able to keep her nerves in check it had to be her. Over the last few years Fritz had seen her deal with some very nasty situations, all of which she had handled with determination and a certain fairness that probably only an outsider could see. He had to admire her for it, for he knew that it took a lot of strength to do the job she did every day. Which was why it was so strange, almost disturbing even, to see her have gone all quiet. Normally he wouldn't mind the silence, but like most things silence came in many shapes and forms, some better than others. For a moment, when it seemed as if her light had gone out, Fritz wondered whether they should just turn around, but as soon as the thought crossed his mind she snapped out of it.

"Just go all out. It might be good thing to let McGarry seeing me being a little uncomfortable at times. In fact, it might be just what we need."

She said, her voice louder and steadier than before. She knew what she had to do. She needed to get close to the suspect and find out every little detail about his life, which was exactly what she was going to do. Yes, she had had her doubts, but now was the time to push them aside and focus. She wanted to do this, partly for herself, but mostly because it was the right thing to do.

In the meantime, Brenda Leigh Johnson and her team were cramped up in a van near the restaurant. In front of them there were four screens, two of which were still black. Earlier that day they had set up visuals and audio from all angles. One of the cameras was hidden in the pin of Raydor's dress, One in the button of an SIS operator disguised as waiter, one in the plant near McGarry's table and one at the entrance of the restaurant. Not that Brenda expected anything to happen, after all, when her own cover was blown the man hadn't displayed any tendency towards violence, but she needed to absolutely certain nothing could go wrong. Better safe than sorry her grandmother always used to say.

"There they are!."

Buzz pointed at the screen displaying the entrance. The clear picture showed Agent Howard taking the Captain's coat before finding a waiter to show them to their table, which was conveniently situated next to McGarry. The restaurant was busy as always, filled with all sorts of people that had one thing in common: money. Some of the guests, including McGarry, momentarily raised their heads to glance at the new arrivals, but they soon returned to their own dinners.

"Eagle 1, I want a visual from you."

Brenda spoke into the walkie-talkie, directing her attention at one of the two black screens. After less than ten seconds it sprung to life as the waiter with the camera made its way to the undercover couple.

"If you would follow me please."

The voice of the SIS operator was heard in the van, before he started to move towards the table. In the meantime the fourth and last camera was turned on as well when Captain Raydor pretended to adjust her pin. Everything was going according to plan, however, Brenda knew she could probably only breath again when this whole ordeal was over. She turned her attention to the plant cam, for lack of a better name, just in time to see her husband's hand slide over her colleagues ass while he guided her to her chair. Even though, at that moment, it took a lot of effort to keep quiet, she managed to keep her mouth shut. However, when Raydor responded by throwing her head in her neck and giving Fritz a dazzling smile, she couldn't prevent an outraged huff from escaping her lips. Yes, she was fully aware of the fact that the two of them were acting, but was that really necessary? Surprisingly, however, she wasn't the only one finding it hard to watch, if the soft growl she heard behind her was anything to go by. Leaving the screen for what it was she turned around her to see Andy Flynn wearing a very displeased expression on his face.

"Could I get you something to drink?"

The waiter's voice brought a welcome distraction for both of them. It reminded her of the fact that she had nothing to be jealous about, it was only an undercover operation. Besides she was the one who had eventually involved Fritz. It might have not been her own idea, but she could've easily said no. Feeling a lot calmer now, she returned her focus on the display in front of her. They were both doing well, Fritz seemingly very eager to please while Raydor was as poised as ever. She saw how agent Howard, as she started to refer to him in her head, since they _were_ working at the moment, took Sharon's hand. She allowed him to stroke her fingers with his thumb for a moment, before pulling her hand back and placing it on her lap. It was a smart move. Brenda immediately understood what she was doing. Showing interest, but leaving room for McGarry to walk into the trap.

Andy was gritting his teeth through the whole scene. The starters had arrived and on the one hand he could see how Sharon was eating her Carpaccio in a purposefully sensual way, while on the other hand he could see how agent Howard was raking his eyes over her form every now and then. Earlier that night when she had entered the murder room, wearing that sinfully tight dress, he had finally come to terms with the fact that he indeed felt attracted to her. He had been denying it for a very long time, because it was Raydor and no way in hell did he feel anything for her besides loathing. Yet he knew that he was past that certain point where he could still pretend the attraction wasn't there. That realisation in itself would've been bad enough, combine it with world's worst timing and it was hell. Watching her be all seductively, even if it was only an act, did nothing to help him keep his cool. In fact, the longer he stood there, eyes glued on the screens, the more he felt his blood beginning to boil.


	8. Chapter 8

**Happy Major Crimes Monday! Well, technically it's not monday anymore over here, but I'm sure it must be monday somewhere :). I found this chapter quite tricky to write actually, so I hope it turned out okay. Enjoy and please let me know what you think!**

Throughout starters Sharon could feel his eyes on her, never lasting longer than a few second. She didn't quite dare to turn around, but then again, she didn't have to. Instinctively, she already knew it was McGarry, sneaking the occasional sideway glances. It was quite extraordinary, come to think about it, how people were able to sense when they were being stared at. All this talk about having eyes in the back of your head, who needed eyes anyway, when she could so clearly _feel _his eyes traveling over the side of her face, her neck, her shoulder. She didn't know whether she was just sensitive because of all the adrenaline flowing through her with every beat of her heart, or whether it had to do with the intensity of his gaze. Or maybe, it wasn't even real, maybe she just imagined it all. Yet, however hard she tried to ignore it, the tingling sensation on her bare skin wouldn't go away.

"So, how are things going at work?"

She continued the conversation with Fritz after a moment of comfortable silence. Or at least as comfortable as it could be. She found it surprisingly easy to talk to the FBI agent, even though it meant that they both needed to use some code names, in case McGarry was listening. Earlier she had asked how his sister Kitty was, nearly causing him to choke on his drink. He kept it together though and replied with dignity that his _sister _was fine, except from some trouble with a certain colleague of hers. She had smiled at that, she could appreciate a bit of banter. Especially at a moment like this, it helped her relax. Of course, they could've just made some stuff up, but secretly she was glad for not having to. This way she was actually having some fun, it was very entertaining to come up with good names for everyone and everything. She'd always liked Fritz, he was pleasant enough on the rare occasions their paths crossed, but before tonight she'd never got to talk to him outside of work. Mostly because of her already complicated relationship with Brenda. She knew of the Deputy Chief's dislike for her and she definitely didn't want to step on anyone's toes. However she was grateful it was Fritz who was with her tonight. For the first bit anyway.

"It's going pretty well. Over the last few months I have been offered a couple of new positions, but I turned them down. I'm happy where I am right now. I have to admit, it's been a bit hectic because of some last minute changes, but I suppose that's one of the things I like about it. It keeps it interesting. What about you?"

Agent Howard said, sounding genuinely happy. It was nice to talk to someone who seemed so content with his profession. After working in FID so long, she had seen a fair share of cops that weren't pleased with what they were doing. Whether it was because of the salary, the work hours or the lack of promotion, you name it. Therefore it was inspiring when she met police officers, or an FBI agent in this case, who felt they were in the right place for a change. There were plenty of course, unfortunately in her line of work she mostly seemed to encounter the ones that were dissatisfied for whatever reason. Well, and then there was Major Crimes. A lot could be said about Chief Johnson and her team, but Sharon had nothing but admiration for the passion with which they did their job. Yes, they did break the rules more than any other department within the LAPD. And yes, the amount of complaints against the division, especially against Andy Flynn, was massive, but Sharon knew how much the lieutenant cared, how much the whole team cared and she respected that.

Her musings were interrupted by the sharp sound of a ringtone. With a shock she realised this was the moment. They had almost finished their starters, from now one she would be on her own. After the initial jolt, she was surprised to find the beating of her heart had returned to normal. She felt calm, calmer than she had been the whole day. In the background she could hear Fritz talking on the phone, Chief Johnson probably on the other side of the line, instructing him to leave. She used the opportunity to look around, pretending to wait for her 'date' to hang up, not so coincidently making eye contact with McGarry. To her surprise the man did not immediately avert his eyes, embarrassed to be caught staring, instead gave her a nod and a smile. She waited a moment before offering him a tiny smile in return. First contact had been established.

"I'm really sorry, but it's work. I'm afraid I have to go."

Fritz apologised before looking around for a waiter. In the meantime, Sharon made sure to school her features into an appropriate 'disappointed, but not too disappointed and a bit annoyed' expression.

"Can I offer you a ride home first? Or would you like to finish that?"

He searched his pocket, pulling out a simple black wallet.

"I'd like to finish this. I'll take a cab."

She said in her best Darth Raydor voice, making it clear that she wasn't happy with the situation. Soon after that the waiter arrived with the bill.

"I'm really sorry, I hope we can do this properly some other time?"

After paying, Fritz got up from the table, offering her an apologetic look.

"Maybe."

She replied in a neutral tone, not wanting to overdo it. A kiss on the cheek and a knowing look were the only encouragements that agent Howard could offer before leaving her alone. She was still feeling a bit nervous, but, considering the circumstances, she'd be worried if she wasn't. This had to be the worst bit of the evening though, the waiting. She slowly ate her Carpaccio, trying to focus on the taste instead of the man at the table next to her. It was quite good, actually. If it had been a bit less expensive she would definitely consider coming back. Not that she didn't have the money, but there was only a certain amount she was willing to pay for food and this restaurant, though very good, was also very pricy. The sudden calmness she had felt just moments prior was beginning to dissolve. Her pulse had picked on again in the anticipation. She hated waiting in general, but this…. She had never experienced waiting like this. She'd been told many times she'd make a good poker player and never had she been more grateful for that. She kept her face neutral, her hands were steady as she brought her fork to her mouth and even though on the inside she felt like running away, she stayed right where she was. This wasn't only about her, she reminded herself, this was about the three women on the whiteboard. She could easily recall their pictures in her head, three beautiful women with lives and friends and families. No, this was definitely not just about her.

"Excuse me, would you mind some company?"

She had been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't seen him move, but when she looked up she saw him standing in front of her, next to the empty seat Fritz had left behind. Careful not to sound too eager, she paused for a moment in order to study him. She had already concluded from the pictures she'd seen that he was quite handsome, and the sight before her only confirmed that she'd been right. His hair was greying, giving him that distinct silver fox look that so many women found attractive. "Including yourself." Said a treacherous voice in her head, which she chose to ignore. To complete the look he was wearing a dark blue, three piece suit. It looked good on him, he obviously spent some hours in the gym every week. She could see why the victims had fallen for him, she would be lying if she said that she didn't find McGarry attractive at all. But, she berated herself, no matter how handsome he was, there was a very good chance he had murdered three women and she was resolved to find out the truth.

"Alright."


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm so sorry for updating so late…. I'm not sure how long it's been, but I get the feeling it's been a while, so my apologies for that. I guess I underestimated my holiday schedule a bit. Well a lot, but I'll try and have the next chapter ready as soon as possible. Hope you like this one and please review. Also, I'd like to thank everyone who is still reading this story, especially those who take the time to review, it really means a lot to me. **

"I'm James, James Mcgarry."

He said pleasantly while taking the seat opposite her, extending his hand.

"Kate Forester, nice to meet you."

She returned his smile and graciously accepted his hand. keeping her composure even as her mind was racing. One wrong move could ruin everything, _she_ could ruin everything. And if that wasn't enough reason for her to worry, her seducing skills were rusty to say the least, assuming she had any to begin with. It certainly had been a long time since she'd had dinner with a man, not including Fritz and Gavin, for obvious reasons. Not that she'd completely refrained from dating since her separation, twenty years was a long time. Though she wasn't sure if the occasional dinner could even be called dating, since it never led to anything more serious than friendship. Besides, the last few years these dinners had become less and less. Which was fine by her, she had her kids, her friends, her job, she was busy enough without any romance going on in her life. Also, most of the time she enjoyed being single and especially the freedom that came with it.

And yet... sometimes, more than she cared to admit, a treacherous feeling overtook her seemingly out of nowhere, a feeling that could only be described as loneliness. Those times she was pestered by that nagging question, the same one over and over again. What if? What if after all these years of disappointments, it was her turn? What if she finally filed a divorce? She'd been separated for such a long time now, maybe it was the right moment to put an end to it. And who could really blame her if she did? It would definitely be about time. Whenever people asked, she had her answer ready. She would say that it was all very catholic. Which was partly true, because she was in fact catholic and so was Jack, and she knew for sure that both of their parents would be very against the idea of a divorce. Still, if she was completely honest with herself, she knew that wasn't the only reason, and definitely not the most important one. The real reason was much more complicated than that. At first she had stayed married for the children, then it had been the financial complications, but now it was just force of habit, nothing more. It was comfortable in a way that not many people would understand. And, to be fair, her marriage to jack came in very handy at times. After all, she was a married woman, which meant she never even had to consider a serious relationship. For some this may sound like a bad thing, but for her it was what ultimately protected her from getting hurt.

If only people knew the truth, the story behind Darth Raydor, behind the mask that she had created for herself. But they didn't, because the walls she'd built were too high, she'd made sure of that when Jack left. She wasn't good at dealing with the pitying glances that were send her way. So she'd picked herself up before anyone could realise just how much jack's behaviour had hurt her, how he had betrayed her on so many levels. Yes, she moved on, putting on a brave face in front of her kids, her colleagues and eventually her family and friends. What else could she have done? She sure as hell wasn't going to crawl into a corner and cry. No, she had faced it the same way she'd faced everything in life, with her head held high. But, after that, when a relationship became an option again, she wasn't sure she even wanted to.

"Excuse me if I'm being too forward, but may I ask what your relationship is with that man?"

Sharon felt relief flooding her. Yes, it was forward, but never had she been more grateful for some people's tendency to be frank.

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

He continued before she could reply, with a statement which, she realised, was either very thoughtful or very clever. On one hand she was fairly sure he already knew the answer to his own question. She had gone out of her way to make it clear to him that there was nothing serious about the dinner with Fritz. On the other hand, in her experience men could be extremely oblivious to certain things, especially subtle hints.

"This was supposed to be our first date, though as you can see it's not a great success."

She needed to stop overthinking everything so much. It didn't really matter to her why he was asking, did it?

"Would you think less of me if I told you I'm glad it isn't?"

He had a certain twinkle in his eyes when he smiled, which she would've found very attractive had they met under different circumstances.

"Well that depends on the reason."

She countered with a question, not really sure what else to say.

"To be honest, beside the fact that you're a beautiful woman, there's something about you that intrigued me from the moment you walked in. I'd like a chance to find out what it is."

It was corny, without a doubt. One of those chat up lines that seemed to have come straight out of a sappy novel. Which was why Sharon felt more than a bit ashamed when she realised she was flattered.

"Mmmmm we'll see. Do you come here often?"

She quickly changed the subject, not willing to give away too much at once. She needed to let him work for it first.

"Yes this is one of my favourites actually."

She already knew that of course, but it was an excellent way to move to somewhat safer grounds.

"Wonderful! so you can tell me whether the salmon is any good."

She subtly flicked her hair in one smooth motion, small enough to look natural, but enough to draw his attention to her long auburn tresses. She watched how his eyes shifted quickly from her hair to her cleavage and back to her face again. Apparently he was too much of a gentleman to allow his gaze to linger, but the slip up was enough to confirm that she was beginning to get the hang of the whole flirting thing.

"One of the best I've ever had, though if you like seafood I'd also recommend their lobster."

Fritz parked his car a few yards away from the dark van. Before turning off the engine, he made sure to look through his windows, and check his mirrors. He didn't think he was being followed, but it was standard procedure and to be fair, one could never be too sure in his line of work. He felt anxious about leaving the restaurant, especially because McGarry had already moved in on Sharon before he was even out the door. Maybe it was just him, but the guy seemed just a little too eager in his opinion.

"How's it going?"

Fritz asked as soon as he'd shut the door of the van, his eyes immediately seeking the screens.

"All according to plan. You did a good job."

Lieutenant Tao was quick to answer, shooting a wary glance at the Chief and Lieutenant Flynn, who had both been less than happy during the first stage of their plan.

"yes very convincing."

Andy growled as if that wasn't a good thing at all. Agent Howard wisely kept his mouth shut, he might not know exactly what was going on but Flynn's expression spoke volumes, and, on closer inspection, so did his wife's.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10! We're back on schedule :) Well at least I'm back on schedule… **

**To Labyrinth01: I hope you like the last part. I tried including some Fritz/Brenda interaction, hopefully it meets your expectations.**

**And as always let me know what you think, reviews are greatly appreciated.**

"That can't be the easiest Job."

Mcgarry, no James, he told her to call him James, commented after she'd answered his earlier question.

"No I suppose it's not. But it's necessary and I find it to be quite fulfilling most of the time."

She sent him another smile, a genuine smile she realised. He was surprisingly easy to talk to, though maybe that shouldn't surprise her at all. That was the thing about serial killers, more often than not they appeared to be social, charming people. Then again, she needed to avoid drawing conclusions. Nothing had been proven yet and it would certainly do no good if she failed to keep an open mind, especially this early.

"Basically I'm my law firm's lawyer. It's my to prevent lawsuits against the firm and win the ones that can't be avoided.

She silently thanked whoever had the brilliance of mind to make her the equivalence of internal affairs in the world of lawyers. Not only did it mean that she could maintain a certain sincerity when she talked about her job, it also meant she had a place to do some of her work in peace. Gavin, after accidently overhearing, read eavesdropping, a conversation between herself and the chief, had graciously offered an office at his firm. Conveniently, one of his employees happened to be on pregnancy leave, which meant she could easily use her desk for a few weeks. The chief had hesitated, but Sharon had flung her arms around him in a tight embrace. She realised it would seem completely out of character to her colleagues, but she knew better. She would trust Gavin with her life. Okay she did not always agree with his principals, but his heart was in the right place and they had been close friends for many years now.

"Though not everyone's a fan... There are people who have a hard time believing I'm on their side, which I can understand, because first I need to know every SINGLE detail. I suppose it can be frustrating to be under such scrutiny."

She was interrupted by the arrival of their food. The salmon looked indeed absolutely delicious. She nodded at their waiter in thanks before asking for glass of water. For a minute she she considered ordering another white wine, but then she remembered just who she was with. Too much alcohol was never a good idea, but definitely not when she was working.

"But surely they're grateful when you save their asses?"

Well if they did, they had a strange way of showing it, she thought bitterly. Immediately she scolded herself, because the officers she exonerated usually _did _take the time to actually thank her, however curt. Of course, the same couldn't be said of the people she send to anger management and sexual harassment classes, but she never expected them to.

"Most of them yes, though sometimes, not often, but still, people get thrown under the bus. It's my obligation to report to my boss, who bases certain decisions on the facts presented by me. It can be difficult at times... But then again, those people forget that our profession is about justice, not personal gain. It's one thing to be creative with the rules, but breaking the law is another. It hurts the firm and what's more, it's not right. "

she shook her head when it got her that she was practically pouring her heart out about her job to a stranger. no, she corrected herself, to a suspect.

"I'm so sorry, I'm talking way too much."

She played it coy, hoping he wouldn't mind her going on about her work.

"No you're not, I like how passionate you are about what you do. There are too many people nowadays who couldn't care less, it's nice to listen to someone who does for a change."

His answer was unexpected to say the least. She had been waiting for a friendly, but obviously fake denial. His words, however, sounded so sincere they took her by surprise.

"What about you? Do you care? About your job I mean."

That moment she chose to ignore the fact that she herself had been thinking the same thing during her conversation with Fritz.

"I like my job. I'm not saving the justice system."

He paused top wink at her. He actually winked at her... She almost broke into fits of laughter. Did he really think that would work? Suddenly she felt herself blush, she didn't _save_ the justice system... She never said… wait, ohhhh, he was joking. What was wrong with her?

"But a lot of people are employed because of my company and I care about that."

He concluded. It confused her. All this time she'd been worried she wouldn't be able to play her part, to make him like her. She'd been concerned about keeping up appearances the next few weeks at least. She just had never counted on the fact that it would go so easily, she never once thought it a possibility that she would actually sort of like him. Though maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. It would help her keep up appearances, as long as she kept remembered of the fact that he very likely killed three women. The thought immediately sickened her and when she looked up into his eyes, she knew she needed some space to compose herself.

"Excuse me."

She managed politely before stalking off to the bathroom. It was empty. thank goodness for that. She let some water run over her hands and wrists, wanting to splash some in her face, but deciding against it. It would most definitely ruin het carefully applied MAKE UP. She let out a few deep breaths. It was a lot to take in. One moment she was laughing and talking with this man she hardly knew, the next she was wondering whether he was already planning how to kill her. She placed her wet hands carefully on her neck, the coolness was calming her down. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and took another deep breath.

*she did well, right?"

Fritz said while he switched on the lights in their dark home. He meant it, Sharon had done an outstanding job tonight, especially since she had never really done anything like it before.

"Mmmm."

His wife mumbled no- committedly, even though less than half an hour she had squealed with delight when McGarry had given the Captain his phone number and said he would like to ha from her soon.

"Well she did, didn't she? She had the guy wrapped around his finger on less than a minute."

He pressed, trying to get a real answer this time. She had been grumpy all evening, and even though he could come up with a few reasons he'd rather hear them from her.

"Yes, she has a real gift for that I've noticed.. "

She retorted sharply, in what almost seemed like a growl. She was obviously not happy.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Fritz asked, annoyance now audible in his voice as well. He was usually much more patient, but Brenda had asked him to do this and instructed him how to do it herself. He knew beforehand that she wouldn't like it when the time came, but he in the end it was her who'd asked him for help.

"It means that you and Raydor got along quite well tonight."

And there was it, out in the open, the reason behind her behaviour. Fritz felt a bit of relieve, it wouldn't be the first time they had a fight without him knowing what the real problem was. Of course he had already guessed it, but at least now he knew for sure.

"Yes, we get along quite well, but not in the way your implying, so if that's why your angry with me..."

She seemed to deflate a little before cutting him off.

"yes I'm angry, but mostly with myself. I know I asked for your help, but then you and Raydor... You just seemed so natural with her, and the way you kept touching her... Well it was very convincing." she repeated Flynn's words from earlier. "It made me wonder..."

she trailed off mid-sentence. The moody expression on her face vanished completely, as insecurity took its place.

"It made you wonder what?"

Fritz encouraged het softly.

"You never do that when we go out."

She blurted out, almost startling her husband. Then suddenly Fritz wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her to him.

"Because I know you don't like it when I act all possessive."

He pulled back to look at her.

"I've always respect Sharon as a colleague and tonight I found out she could be my friend, but you are the only one I love. You know that don't you?"

She pressed her face against his shoulder, feeling stupid for her behaviour. Then almost inaudibly she said against his shirt :

"I love you too."


	11. Chapter 11

**A bit of a short chapter this time. To be honest, I already know exactly where I want to take this, just the bit in the middle is proving to be a bit difficult, because I don't want to rush into anything. So hope you like this chapter and please let me know what you think. Reviews make my day (or night).**

A smile had forced it's way on her face as she walked through the doors to "her office". When Gavin suggested he might just have a free space for her, he hadn't told her it was a corner office, easily twice the size of her workspace at FID. Only the best for you, he had said when she found herself unable to close her mouth. She just couldn't help it. And who could blame her really? Besides being enormous, the space was also beautifully designed. However, that wasn't the why she was smiling, though it was a nice bonus.

No the real reason for the almost giddy feeling inside of her was the lunch she'd just had with James Mcgarry. It was their third meeting. Date? Well it didn't really matter, because surprisingly everything was going according to plan and that was really all she cared about. It was good to know she still had it, the ability to do field work of course, though she couldn't deny it was also nice to feel wanted again. She had forgotten what it felt like to receive some make attention and while normally she would've been disgusted that her esteem so dependent on others, at the moment she felt too happy to care. oh she was sure it would get to her later. She fiercely believed that accepting and above all liking yourself had nothing to do with the people around you, instead it needed to come from within.

But today she didn't really pay attention her own convictions, because the adrenaline of being successful was as overpowering as it was unfamiliar to her. Knowing they were right on schedule, knowing she was doing a good job was exhilarating. Not that she wasn't good at her work in IA, on the contrary even, but somehow it wasn't the same. She'd been looked at with contempt for so long she'd started to think it didn't bother her. Maybe it really didn't. She wasn't sure, which was why the feeling of pride and accomplishment she got when praised by the entire team of major crimes, took her utterly by surprise. then again, not only she had already accidently met one of McGarry's alibis, which _was_ very high on the priority list, she had also gotten herself invited to his. A cause of concern to chief Johnson, who had immediately pointed out the risk of such an operation. Sharon understood of course where the woman was coming from, after all she was responsible for the safety of her subordinate officers and there would be lots of complications ensuring that safety. However the benefits were undeniable. She could snoop around his house under the guise of polite interest, maybe she could even try and get him to give her a tour. Anyway it gave her ample opportunity to gather information that might help their case.

There was really only one major cause of concern, which she had conveniently ignored for the time being. Something she would've gladly kept on doing if it hadn't been for Brenda bringing it up. Unsurprisingly it hadn't escaped the chief's notice that she'd been avoiding the real question almost from the start. It had been a rare moment of total understanding between the two of them, no words were really needed. The blonde had stopped midsentence, but the meaningful look had more than enough. How far was she willing to go? She needed to figure out what her boundaries were, and she needed to do that for herself. Not for the LAPD or even for the victims, no she needed to draw that line for her as a person rather than a police officer. Brenda was right, the question needed to be asked. Because right now, she honestly wasn't sure just how far she was willing to go.

Not for the first time, Andy flynn really craved a drink when he got home . Even after so many years of sobriety he still missed it from time to time, the numbing effect of alcohol that would stream through his veins long after the burn in his throat had subsided. The familiarity of that whiskey glass in his hand. Not that he'd ever dare to drink again, not even one glass. One would easily turn into many and he didn't want to risk it. He knew exactly what it would do to him, had experienced it first-hand. Alcohol was destructive, it had screwed up not only his life, but that of his family as well. he could see that now. Trust wasn't easily repaired, in some cases it was even broken beyond repair. Just look at his ex-wife. Fortunately he didn't do it for her, he did it for his children. Who, to be fair, weren't all that enthusiastic to have him back in their lives either, but Andy wasn't going to give up so readily, and one very important part of that was staying sober.

Still nights like these he wanted that whiskey. Anything would do really to drown out the whirlwind of emotions taking through him. If he thought watching Sharon and Fritz had difficult he was in for a nasty surprise. because even though fritz had been overly friendly and especially handsy, in the end he knew it was playacting. However there was nothing fake about the glances McGarry kept sending in Sharon's direction. He had given up on calling her Captain Raydor in his head. There had been no denying he was jealous when the business man kept strategically placing touches on her forearm, so he might as well keep referring to her as Sharon, even if it was only to himself. It was just his luck, falling in love with her of all people, married, hated by all of his close colleagues and very much out of his league. Wait, what? love? No no no no! He did not just think that. Yes he was attracted to her, yes he even might like her, all of that he could handle, but he certainly was not in love with her. He didn't do love. He was the kind of guy that appreciated female form and youth, he was honest and considerate, but he didn't form attachments. Or did he? Well at least he was sure he most definitely did not form an attachment to Sharon, she was about the opposite of his type. She wasn't blonde, she wasn't young, she was bossy and intelligent and strong and beautiful... Oh, he was so screwed.


	12. Chapter 12

I might rewrite this chapter later, I'm not entirely satisfied with the way it turned out. However for now, this is chapter 12. As always, I hope you all like it!

The hand that had landed on her thigh somewhere during the evening was feeling heavy on her leg. Fingers ghosted over her jawline before capturing her chin. Treacherous tingles moved down her spine, a sign that her body was betraying her. She didn't want this. She was sure of that, but the skilful tongue that entered her mouth was sending a completely different message. She responded, leaned into his muscular body. It was pleasant, not rough and demanding like she had expected, but slow and even a bit tentative. However when he started to move his hands up and down her sides, the initial tingles turned into panic

"I'm sorry. It's… It's been a long time since…"

She stammered, avoiding his eyes. The touch on her shoulder, which was probably meant as comforting, made her jerk away slightly.

"No it's me who should be sorry. I should've asked."

He took the hint and refrained from touching her. Slowly she looked up and saw regret on his face. He seemed to be genuinely sorry, but how could she trust anything he said? Not that she needed to trust him, she reminded herself. In fact, she needed to question every single move he made.

"I've been legally separated for a long time before divorcing my ex-husband. I haven't exactly been busy during that time."

She joked, partly to distract him, but also indirectly urging him to start talking about his own past relationships.

"I understand. We can take it slow, if you're still interested that is. Relationships are complicated at the best of times, I know it can be very difficult to take that step after ….. certain experiences."

He faltered slightly at the end and she knew this was the time to move in. The opportunity presented itself, so beautifully in his words, she couldn't let that one slip away.

"What kind of experiences?"

She could see his eyes grow wider. Maybe he had not intended to say anything at all, or maybe he hadn't expected her to catch up on it. It didn't really matter, the mistake was made.

"I'd rather not talk about it, actually. Not now, anyway."

She wanted to push him for answers. She desperately wanted to find that one bit of information she needed for their investigation. But instinctively she knew it would do no good if she kept asking. She would wait, be patient. Instead she studied his face, finding only sadness in it. And just for a moment, one tiny moment, she believed it.

The cardboard box sitting before her front door blended in nicely with its surroundings. Maybe that's why she only spotted it when she put her key into the lock. However when it had captured her attention, it immediately struck her as odd. Not only was she not expecting any delivery, there was also no logo of any kind printed on the box. In fact, there was nothing at all written on the plain cardboard.

Cautiously she picked it up, taking it with her inside. The flaps weren't closed very well, making it fairly easy to pry her finger between them. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, increasing the reluctance she felt to open the box. Maybe she should just put it away, ignore the undeniable curiosity she also felt. Then again, she knew herself well enough to realise she wouldn't be able to. Besides, whatever was inside, it might very well be important. Slowly she moved aside the …. With one hand. It only took her a second to realise just what was inside before she dropped it to the floor with an uncharacteristic yelp she dropped it to the floor. Pictures flew everywhere when the cardboard made impact with the ground, polaroids displaying scenes that were both terrifyingly familiar and new. From about a meter away from her, she was stared at by de dead eyes of Lara James, the last victim. Sharon backed away until her back hit the wall. Her eyes were wide, her heart pounding palpably in her chest. As a police officer, confronted by death on a daily basis, she had built up a tolerance for seeing scenes not unlike the ones on the photographes. And still, this was different. Maybe it was because now it concerned her personally or maybe it was the complacency that for some inexplicable reason seemed to radiate from the pictures. The dying moments captured on the lens spoke of an arrogance, a blatant disregard of life so real that it was almost as if the photographer had given her a frightening insight into his own mind.

Scare tactics, that's what it was and successful too, because she was more than a little shaken. Taking a deep breath she pushed herself away from the strangely calming effect of the solid wall. She needed to do something, distract herself. One by one she began picking up the polaroids, averting her gaze. She didn't want to see, didn't need to see really. Almost automatically her gaze fell on the now nearly empty box, her eyes got by the envelope on the bottom. For the second she ignored her better judgements and opened it.

_It is time you learned your lesson._

_G_

She stood frozen on the spot. Then all of a sudden it hit her. She was not just investigating anymore, she was a target now. The world seemed to spin around her and a wave of dizziness forced her to grip the nearby table. She'd known from the start it was a possibility. She thought she was prepared. But as raw emotions invaded her body like a disease, she knew she couldn't have been farther away from the truth.

_Deputy Chief Johnson_

Without looking at the name recognition she answered the phone.

"Chief?"

The familiar voice sounded not at all like the confident clipped tones she had come to associate with Sharon Raydor.

"Someone sent me a message."

The efficiency with which the captain normally addressed her seemed also to be missing.

"What kind of message?"

"Someone sent me a box full of pictures. Polaroids of all three victims in the McGarry case."

The slight relief Brenda felt at the audible change in Raydor's voice, quickly made way for concern.

"You said there was a message?"

"Yes, it says: "It's time you learned your lesson. It might be nothing, but the rules require me to inform you as my superior officer."

It might be nothing? Was she serious? Someone threatened to teach her a letter and she thought it might be nothing? Sharon Raydor certainly had a very odd sense of humour.

"Okay, that's it. You're going home."

She'd known this was a bad idea from the start. Instincts, intuition, or maybe just plain logic had set off an undeniable feeling of foreboding.

"What?! No, but Chief that's not necessary. I know it looks bad, but it doesn't have to mean that my cover is blown."

Raydor tried, but she was not convinced. "It is time you learned your lesson." It wasn't just the threat itself, nor was it the photographs that filled her with an uneasiness. It was the familiarity with which the words addressed the captain.

"Well, this very much suggests that it is! Captain this is not a request. You're going home and you're getting a protective detail."

Maybe she was acting a bit rash. Maybe the captain was right, but she couldn't ignore the feeling in her gut.

"That is ridiculous, it doesn't say anything, it doesn't even address me by name. Besides, Chief Pope will…"

Sharon lost her cool, but Brenda cut her off before she could finish. She was adamant, this operation had come to an end.

"Agree with me. This compromises the operation. I am responsible for the safety of my subordinate officers and I am ordering you to step back!"

It stayed silent for a long time. At the other end of the line Brenda swore she could hear the other woman sigh.

"Very well."

Brenda still heard protest in the words of resignation, but chose not to address it. Best not to poke the bear she reminded herself.

**For anyone who was looking forward to seeing Sharon do some more undercover action, I hope you are not too disappointed. I promiss you, this is just the beginning...**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm so very sorry for uploading this late... I can only say that I was very busy. Fortunately for everyone that has been waiting for this chapter, my train just stopped in the middle of nowhere today, turning a two hour journey into a four hour journey, giving me enough time and just the right amount of boredom to finish this. I really hope this meets everyone's expectations and as always, reviews will be very much appreciated. Also a huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review so far, it's really keeping me motivated.**

"Chief, I'm telling you this is a missed opportunity! If you break off this operation, you might never close this case."

Captain Raydor had unexpectedly stormed into her office and started a rant that didn't seem to be ending anywhere soon. Oh, she had tried. Multiple times. Provenza, who happened to be unfortunate enough to be in her office at that moment, had tried. soon however they both realised it was impossible to get a word in between. It was funny, Brenda thought to herself, for a woman who loved the rules so much, she certainly had a hard time following them. In fact, Captain Raydor had not only blatantly ignored the order to stand down, she'd also stalked into the murder room with a protective detail that was very much absent. Come to think of it, she hadn't followed any of the instructions given to her yesterday. Which why, all of a sudden, she had enough.

"Captain Raydor!"

She stood up from her desk. Not as tall as the brunette in front of her, but nevertheless a force to be reckoned with.

"I've given you an order, so unless you want me to file a report on you, I'd be very careful."

Her voice was quiet but deadly serious. She didn't break eye contact, not even when she saw the captain take a step back. She needed the stubborn women in front of her to realise she was on very thin ice here. Not only to re-establish authority but also for the Captain's own safety.

"I see."

Raydor said slowly in her signature clipped tone, holding Brenda's eyes for a moment longer before swivelling around and stalking away. Ugh, why did she have to be so stubborn? She was supposed to enforce the rules not break them. A week's worth of pent up frustration threatened to rear its ugly head. Something about that woman just kept on pushing all her buttons at once.

"I knew she could be a pain in the ass. but this.."

She was at loss for words. Yes, she disliked the captain most of the time. Yes she thought the other woman was annoying on the best of days and a total bitch on the worst, but never had before had she shown this kind of insubordination and blatant disrespect.

"Kind of reminds you of someone, doesn't it."

Provenza muttered under his breath, looking the other way. Probably not meaning for her to hear, but failing miserably.

"Who?"

She asked curiously, but the older lieutenant just shrugged his shoulders, wisely keeping his mouth shut. He'd been in the crossfire enough for one day.

"There is just one thing I don't get."

Tao said to no one in particular, a slight frown marring his forehead. He'd been thinking it over and over, but there was still something bugging him about the situation with Captain Raydor.

"Why send her the letter all of a sudden? He has never done that before. "

Sergeant Gabriel looked up from his desk, wearing a pensive expression similar to that of Tao. He'd been thinking about the same

"Scare tactics? If he indeed found out she was a cop, this could very well be an attempt to get her off his back."

He replied after a while, even though he himself was not quite satisfied with that answer. And indeed, Lieutenant Tao did not look convinced, either. For some reason there seemed to be too many holes in that theory, even though he could not quite put his finger on it.

"I would agree with you, but what about the chief? He found out she was a cop..."

Mike trailed off. Something about the whole thing was strange. None of the other victims received any threats, in fact they just seemed to be murdered out of the blue. The same thing over and over again, they would date McGarry for a couple of weeks before turning up dead, not a single thing in common aside from their main suspect. No pictures sent to them, no letters, so why the sudden change?

"Maybe it wasn't Mcgarry after all."

Detective Sanchez joined in, but his usual no nonsense tone was laced with doubt and Mike immediately knew that he too had his reservations.

"It might be, but even so, you have to agree that this is would be drastic change in his MO. Something is different here and I can't figure out what."

Tao could see that by this point the whole team was paying attention, including the chief who was standing in the doorway of her office.

"She was perfect for the job.."

Chief Johnson said slowly after a minute or two, looking more than a little distressed.

"Ehm, yes... that's why we asked her to do it."

Gabriel spoke slowly, unsuccessfully trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. Much like the rest of the team he had no clue where his superior was going with this. In fact it seemed a bit odd that she was stating such an obvious fact at that very moment. Yes Captain Raydor was exactly McGarry's type, but wasn't that the point of this whole operation?

"No I mean she was _perfect._ Oh how could I have missed this!"

She repeated, her voice beginning to sound frustrated. Unconsciously she raising one hand to her head, placing her fingers in her hair.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not following..."

Provenza voiced the confusion they all felt, indirectly asking for an explanation.

"Think about it. what is the thing that all serial killers have in common? "

She looked expectantly around the room, clearly waiting for an answer. When she got none she continued.

"They all want something they can't have, that's why they keep on killing, because the first time was obviously not successful. So what do you do when you find the one thing you believe is going to get you what you want? You're not going to get rid of it immediately. No, you make it last, you savour it."

The silence in that moment was deafening. For a while none of the detectives knew what to say. Suddenly it all made sense, in the most disturbing way any of them could have imagined. Scare tactics they might be, but not designed to unnerve the Captain, but to play with her, like a cat would with a mouse.

"I'm going to call Raydor, make sure that she is following my orders this time. "

Brenda was the first one to break the silence, readying herself for another heated debate with the head of IA. The last thing she needed was for the Captain to ditch her protective detail again while this psychopath was on the loose. She really blamed herself for involving her in the first place, she should have known better. But then again, how could she have known? Even now, she wasn't sure whether her assessment of the situation was the right one, but she wasn't prepared to take any more risks.

"Chief, before you make that call, can I just say something? As much as I hate to admit it, I think Raydor might be right. About us missing an opportunity, I mean."

Lieutenant Provenza had followed her into the office, with Flynn hot on his heels.

"You mean using her as bait?"

Andy asked with a hint of anger in his voice, which gained him a sharp look from his partner.

"I don't know, I have a bad feeling about this one. "

Chief Johnson ignored their antics. She knew the both of them well enough not to pay too much attention to this kind of behaviour. She might not have any idea what it was about this time, but she didn't need to as long as the two managed to work together without causing trouble.

"Always go with the gut feeling."

Flynn said, a little too happily she noticed, but she decided not to mention it. Provenza, however, could not leave it alone as easily.

"What is up with you and Raydor lately? Never mind, I don't think I want to know "

The older lieutenant quickly reconsidered his question. The expression on his face predicted nothing good.

"What?! why would you say that? Nothing is going on between me and Raydor, you know that."

Andy threw up his hand, quick to defend himself, but his friend just looked at him in disbelief. Even if what Andy said was true, every idiot could see that something had changed in his attitude towards Captain Raydor. For goodness sake, this was the woman they used to refer to as the wicked witch, but lately Flynn had been acting strangely around her. He could deny it all he wanted, but the fact remained that he jumped whenever her name was so much as mentioned.

"I said I don't want to know. "

Provenza said flatly, before stomping away.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14! Hope you guys are still bearing with me. Again apologies for the late update and for any mistakes, because I have to admit I wrote this in a hurry. Enjoy and let met know what you think. **

With a loud click the door fell shut under her weight when Sharon leant her back and head against the solid surface. She supressed an exasperated sigh. It was a waste, plain and simple, if you asked her. A waste of time and opportunity to put a halt on the undercover operation, and a waste of money and resources to assign a protective detail to her. She had of course brought that up during her conversation, no scratch that, discussion with Chief Johnson, but to no effect.

_Chief, it was only one letter, and an extremely vague one at that! Having two officers following me around is completely unnecessary. Besides, Chief Pope is going to-"_

_"__-agree with me."_

_The Deputy Chief interrupted her midsentence, looking weary. _

Sharon knew the Chief was right, which was the problem. Ever since the beginning of the bailor case, Pope had been extremely paranoia. The truth was he wouldn't want to risk another lawsuit, no matter how unlikely, while the current case wasn't even closed yet. Besides, Chief Johnson just had to flutter her eyes and Will Pope would be clay in her hands. She'd seen it happen many times before and although lately these dynamics had shifted a bit, Sharon was fairly sure the Chief of police was going to agree with Brenda on this one.

Yet even though she still though the woman's decision rash and utterly ridiculous, she was already regretting the way she'd acted in Chief Johnson's office just minutes before. She had just set what had to be the world's worst example. They must think her a terrible hypocrite, if they didn't think that already of course. She had broken several rules in the past two days and now she was expected to happily return to her old job of stuffing them down people's throats? It was funny, she thought bitterly to herself, how the importance of rules and regulations always seemed more clear when she wasn't the one having to follow them. An unamused chuckle escaped her throat, caused by frustration more than anything. Wasn't that exactly why she had a job? To remind people of the consequences of crossing the line? And they needed reminding, she knew that for sure. It was a sad fact that rules weren't followed out of morals or simply out of respect, but because of lawsuits and complaints. Hadn't she herself experienced this exact thing today? Hadn't she disrespected her superior officer? No matter how much she disagreed with Chief Johnson, her behaviour had been outrageous, in fact, she'd been this close to throwing something at the blonde.

_Wicked Witch. Ice Queen. Bitch._

She'd been called many more names over the years. That wasn't who she was, was it? Yes, she knew she could be difficult to work with, but up and till now she had had nothing but respect for the Deputy Chief and her Team. She wasn't a bad person. Right? All of a sudden she wasn't so sure anymore. Why did she want to finish the undercover operation in the first place? Was it because she wanted justice for the victims? Or was it because of some misguided sense of accomplishment, the mere shadow of belonging?

It wasn't often that Andy Flynn was speechless, but at the present moment he really was at loss for what to say. Watching the retreating form of his partner, he felt as if someone had slapped him in the face. He had spoken the truth when he said nothing was going on between him and Sharon, despite what he wished. Not matter what his feelings for her were, Andy knew that the chance of him acting on them was miniscule and the odds of her feeling the same was as good as none-existent. It wasn't as if he'd fallen in love with her on purpose. She was a married woman for god sake, at one point he'd even been quite close to her husband . No he definitely did not plan on developing feelings for the head of IA, not to mention a higher ranking officer. Whilst relationships in the workplace weren't strictly forbidden, they were strongly discouraged and he had an inkling that Sharon Raydor was not going to break the rules again anywhere soon.

"So…?"

He jumped slightly, having forgotten that he wasn't the only one in the room. For a second or two he just blinked at Chief Johnson in confusion.

"Is it true?"

Brenda tried not to sound accusatory, but knew she was failing miserably when she saw the defensive look on her lieutenant's face.

"No, it is not true. There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Captain Raydor."

He said uncharacteristically quietly, still stunned and hurt by Provenza's reaction of disbelief. He knew that the older lieutenant was not a fan of Sharon, but that did not justify the way he had stormed off. In fact, now the shock was beginning to wear off, Andy was actually beginning to feel a bit angry. Provenza hadn't given him any time to explain, he'd just stood there with that look of betrayal on his face. What sort of friend did that?

Sharon drove home with an upcoming headache. In her rear-view mirror she could see the dark blue car following her from a distance. Her protective detail. She flinched involuntarily at the thought, however she was resolved not to let it get to her. She was a very private person and for some reason having these officers following her around felt as an invasion of her personal space, yet she pulled herself together, determined ignoring the two uniformed officers behind her in the elevator. She wasn't going to complain, wasn't even going to give them any thought at all. Yet when she walked through the hallway to her front door, she was still overly aware of the footsteps tailing her. It seemed as if the hairs on the back of her neck rose with every breath taken behind her. In retrospect, that was maybe the reason why she did not immediately notice the white piece of paper stuck to her door. However when she looked up from the floor to find her key, she was confronted with it up close. She involuntarily stepped back, looking the nearest officer right in the eyes. Emily she believed the young woman was called stared back with a shocked expression on her face.

"Nice Try…"

A smiley face was drawn underneath the two words as a sort of signature, but Sharon didn't feel like laughing at all. As a trained police officer, she felt she should have been prepared to handle situations like this one, but she was more shaken than she'd liked to admit. It was not the first, but seeing this plain piece of paper in the vicinity of her home, her safe haven in a way, rocked her to her core.


	15. Chapter 15

Finally wrote a new chapter. I have to admit I've started a new original story, which has made me neglect this one a bit... But I promise you, even though it might take a bit longer, I'll finish this one for sure. Hope you like this chapter and as usual you'd make my day if you reviewed.

"Are you alright?"

The female officer asked as soon as her colleague had disappeared through the door. Her eyes flicking back and forth between Sharon and the empty hallway, one hand lightly on her hip near her gun. The large building is home to a considerable number of tenants and uniformed women is clearly more wary since the discovery of the note.

"Yes. I'm fine."

She looked the woman straight in the eyes and offered her a brave smile. She wasn't fine. Of course she wasn't and she was certain that Davis could tell as much, but that wasn't the point. The point was that she herself needed to believe she was fine. And she would be, just not right now. Her tough exterior, or façade, whatever you wanted to call it, was the only thing that kept her from crumbling down at the moment. It was strange, but for some reason the note was more vicious than any two words ought to be, the hint of familiarity in them more than a little disturbing. This was not a random stranger, though to be fair she hadn't expected him to be. If there was one thing she had learned during her career at the police, it was that the vast majority of criminals, whether sex offenders, murderers or stalkers, were no strangers to their victims. She herself had received her fair share of threats over the years varying from little incidents disguised as mean jokes to seriously vile messages, almost all of which came from within the LAPD. They were sad stories really. Sad that police officers, the very people that were supposed to keep the citizens safe, could stray so far from justice. She had seen grown men and women turn ballistic when confronted with their own missteps and shortcomings. It was one of the dark sides of her job, the part where she was forced to take away people's badges, people's jobs. Not that it happened often, but once in a while she had no choice. Reason told her that it was for the best, but the furious glances sent her way did rattle her more than she would ever let on.

"All is clear."

The other uniformed officer had reappeared again allowing her to enter her home before whipping out his cell phone. Sharon knew it was procedure, knew all the rules by heart, after all she had written some of it herself. First her protective detail was obliged to inform Chief Johnson after which the little post-it note would be bagged and thoroughly checked on fingerprints. Not that she expected there to be any, not if the sender really was behind the series of murders that started it all. After all, the perpetrator had proved to be extremely careful not to leave clue behind. Which had been the whole point of the undercover operation, to nail McGarry for once and for all. She still found it difficult to wrap her mind around the fact that the same charming man she'd spend a couple of dates with was most likely the man sending her these notes, the same man that had cruelly taken the lives of three women.

"Ah your home! Dinners almost ready, I just need to…."

Fritz Howard started, but trailed off when he saw his wife's face.

"Everything alright?"

He asked as soon as she sat down on one of the dining chairs, her expression betraying a rough day.

"Yeah… It's just… Raydor…"

Here we go again, Fritz thought to himself. By now he knew well enough that any conversation starting with "Raydor" never boded well. However, he also understood Brenda's need for letting off steam when she came home, so he repressed a sigh and sat down next to her, prepared to listen.

"She is not taking it seriously. She receives a box full of pictures, pictures of dead women for goodness sake and she keeps insisting it's nothing. And even now, after she received a second note stuck to her own front door, she just doesn't seem to get it."

Brenda had stood up again, and was now pacing furiously back and forth in their kitchen. Her eyes focused on the floor, her hands tightened into fists. Fritz tried to touch her shoulder to get her to calm down, but she shrugged his hand away and swivelled around to face him.

"I'm responsible for my people, Fritz."

This was new to him. Of course, he knew that working with Captain Raydor frustrated his wife to no end, but something had definitely changed over the last few days. There was still that familiar hint of annoyance and there probably always would be to some degree, but there was also a certain caring tone in Brenda's voice.

"You're worried about her then? You know she's a fully trained police officer, she can handle herself."

They'd had a similar conversation just before Raydor got involved in the McGarry case, but this time it was different. Before, Brenda had been concerned the Captain wouldn't be able to do the job. Fritz himself had found it rather amusing when it turned out Sharon was actually a natural. Not that he had doubted that, but the surprise on Brenda's face had been absolutely priceless. Now, however, Brenda had all but completely set aside the case because of her concern for Sharon's wellbeing.

"Yes I'm worried. That woman is as stubborn as a mule, she might do something uncharacteristically stupid."

Brenda had started pacing again and if it had been any other situation, Fritz would've laughed out loud. It was Captain Raydor they were talking about, the head of IA who insisted on following the rules to a tee. Surely she wouldn't do anything as rash as going after McGarry on her own. Thinking about it he realized that the only one who really fit the aforementioned description was Brenda herself.

"Aren't you exaggerating a bit?"

He began, quickly throwing his hands up after receiving a deadly glare.

"Okay, okay. Have you considered still letting her be part of the investigation? That way you can keep an eye on her, and she won't have a reason to do anything _uncharacteristically _stupid."

The blonde woman finally stood still in the middle of the kitchen, disbelief written on her face.

"No, no, no. Absolutely not! She can't go back undercover again, he knows who she is, what she is. Do you have any idea what kind of risks such an operation would entail? I refuse to use her as some form of bait…"

She snapped at him. She knew her husband meant well, and as an FBI agent his advice was normally very welcome. But this? It was a dangerous idea that would place Captain Raydor in an unnecessary dangerous situation. Suddenly she stilled and a frown appeared on her brow.

"You know, that is not even such a bad idea."

"Are you okay?"

Sharon looked over her shoulder at Andy. They had been standing close to each other in the crowded lift, but the last two officers had left the small space at Homicide/Robbery. She had been content riding up to IA's floor in silence, stepping out finding it empty. She usually came in first and she liked it that way, today even more than usual. It was a welcome distraction after the incident of last night. She had barely slept, but she knew some peace and quiet, and some paperwork would do her good. Therefore when the peace and quiet was broken by the gruff voice of lieutenant Flynn, she almost jumped in surprise.

"Yes I'm fine."

She said for what had to be the twentieth time since yesterday. She didn't like people asking how she was holding up when in fact she wasn't holding up at all. The only thing she wanted was to keep her treacherous mind from straying too far from work, however all these questions were making it awfully difficult for her.

"You know, it's nothing to be ashamed of if you're not."

Andy was not so easily discouraged by her snappish answer, nor by the fact that she ignored his last statement and started to walk towards her office. Instead quickly followed her, intending to offer her a listening ear. Though he doubted she would actually accept one. In the door opening, however, they both froze.

"Oh my god."


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi everyone, first of all I want to thank you all for sticking with this story and for all the sweet reviews. Some really made me giggle such as "sweet mother of all that is unicorn hair in this world" and "you literary enchantress you". A special thanks for those, they really made my day. And now without further ado, chapter 16. Hope you all like it, fingers crossed. (Oh and as always, let me know what you think)**

The floor was littered with broken glass, from razor sharp chunks to grains as fine as dust. A crystal vase with flowers had been smashed against the wall judging by the damp spot on the pristine white paint and the scattered lilies on the floor. Her picture frames were on the ground to, the glass cracked, the family portraits behind them creased. And there, chalked on her desk in grotesque red scrawls, was a message.

All Can Be Broken.

Andy didn't know what to say. What was there to say? He'd already asked her whether she was okay, and in this moment it was a rather unnecessary question anyway. He knew she had been lying when she brushed him off before, she would definitely not admit to being anything but fine now. At loss for words the silence stretched on until Sharon suddenly seemed to snap out of it and walked into the office.

"Maybe, you should…"

His voice caught in his throat when she started to furiously try and get rid of the shattered glass. There was something desperate about the way she was throwing the shards into the trash can underneath her desk. Her face was completely blank, not betraying a trace of emotion as she picked up the sharp material with her bare hands.

"Sharon, stop!"

Without thinking about it he did the only thing he could, he put his hand on her shoulder and gentle pulled her up from the floor. She all but jumped away from him, clutching the palm of her hand with the other. Andy slowly reached for her wrist only to see a nasty cut just below her thumb.

"It's fine. Just a scratch."

He looked at her, seeing a the beautifully independent, strong woman he had failed to see all those years prior. Yet he also say a vulnerability behind her skilfully crafted mask and in that moment he wanted nothing more than to comfort her even though he knew he shouldn't.

"I apologise."

She looked straight at him with those green eyes that had featured in his dreams too many times lately. She was completely composed again, not a hair out of place, and if he hadn't witnessed her small breakdown, he wouldn't have though it possible.

"you have nothing to be sorry about."

He meant it. Yes she had freaked out a bit, though even that was arguable, but that was a completely normal reaction in his opinion. Her office had all but destroyed and she'd just received another threatening message. Not only had the perpetrator invaded the privacy of her home, he had also had the guts to come here, to the headquarters of the LAPD. There was no way she could keep pretending there was nothing to worry about, and that in itself had to be a shattering realisation.

"Oh but I do. That was completely unprofessional. I'll go and inform chief Johnson, she'll probably want to investigate the... crime scene.

Of course she went straight back to protocol. Andy had noticed it was somehow comforting for her to strictly follow the rules at times like these. In what seemed to be a lifetime ago, he would have been annoyed at this little habit of hers, but now he couldn't help but find it adorable. He shook his head almost unnoticeably. It was official now, he was completely head over heels in love with the woman in front of him. It was funny actually, he didn't even mind.

"wait! If there is…. If there's anything you need… You know where to find me"

He said, hoping she would understand just how serious his offer was. He thought she looked a little baffled to be honest, but maybe that shouldn't surprise him. After all, he had spent years and years mocking her and her department, it was only natural for her to be slightly shocked. Or maybe more than slightly shocked apparently.

"I- I… Thank you lieutenant, but I doubt that will be necessary."

It took a lot of effort for Andy to keep his disappointment from showing. He didn't know what he had been thinking, of course she wasn't going to take him up on that effort. He didn't blame her, she barely even knew him and the glimpses she had caught of his personality weren't exactly pretty.

"I do appreciate it lieutenant. I mean it."

She lightly touched his arm, before making her way to the elevator. It had only been a fleeting touch, but he could still feel his skin burning at the spot on his bicep. He smiled, looking at her retreating form. His smile quickly turned into a frown when his eyes fell on the mess in her office again.

Brenda Leigh Johnson was fed up. She had been talking to Commander Taylor for a little over half an hour and her patience had officially worn thin. The man could be seriously infuriating at the best of days, but she had been in a bad mood from the moment she woke up and she honestly didn't know how much she could take anymore. She would literally do anything for an excuse to leave this conversation.

"Chief, you might want to come see this."

When she was standing in the middle of the …. That was Raydor's office, she wished she was back again in the meeting with Commander Taylor. She had immediately recognised the seriousness in the Captain's eyes when she interrupted Taylor's droning voice. Yes Brenda had prayed for a distraction, anything, but she hadn't exactly been prepared for this and definitely not here. The sender of these messages was getting bolder, that much she could tell. What the hell, he had all but destroyed Raydor's office right under the noses of the entire LAPD.

"Detective Sanchez, go see who is manning the front desk, I want to know if he has seen anything unusual yesterday evening or this morning. Buzz, I want you to go through all the footage of the security cameras in the lobby and in the elevator. Lieutenant Toa I need this area completely checked on DNA and fingerprints, and I want it to happen now. I don't care what you need to do, make sure this case receives (voorrang). Lieutenant Provenza, Gabriel continue looking through the files make a list of potential suspects other than McGarry, we need to be able to rule out anyone not related to our murder case."

She started giving orders on the automatic pilot, her eyes still glued to the scene in front of her. If she had thought things were getting out of hand before, they certainly were now.

"What about the murder case then? Are we putting that on hold?"

Gabriel asked hesitantly. They had been intensively working on the case for weeks now, were they just going to give up like that? It was very out of character for the chief to just let go of a case, let alone an unsolved triple homicide. It just didn't make sense.

"No we are definitely not, Sergeant Gabriel. However, I am quite positive that these crimes are somehow connected and since our attempts to solve our case have all been fruitless, I say we better find whomever wrote these messages. It might just give us some new insights."


	17. Chapter 17

**A really short chapter this time. I just wanted to let you guys know that I haven't forgotten about this story. I've just been**

**ridiculously busy and a bit unsure about where to take this, so that's why it's taking me a bit longer. I hope you're still all bearing with**

**and I promise I will try my best to update as quickly as I can. Enjoy!**

It had been two weeks since the last note, since they had found the mess in Sharon's office and Andy had witnessed with his own eyes the cracks in the woman's armour. Two weeks and 3 days to be precise nothing much had happened. Major Crimes was still stuck in the same place they'd been before: with only one suspect and absolutely no evidence. Of course closer examination of the three "notes" Raydor received had led to nothing. It came as a disappointment, but not exactly a shock to lieutenant Flynn. Much like the Chief, he had hoped their perpetrator was getting more careless, but the previous two weeks had proved that hope to be idle. It made him slightly uncomfortable, to be honest, when he thought about the unknown writer sitting in some kind of shady room, carefully planning his next move. He'd started to have nightmares recently, of a faceless man standing over a body. Her body. Drenched in sweat he would wake up, a silent scream on his lips. There was never any blood staining her pale face, but in his dreams he always knew she was dead.

He didn't understand how she had managed to invade his thoughts as fast as she had. Just a couple of months ago she was merely the bitch from IA, annoying but unimportant nevertheless. Yet there was no point in denying something had changed. She was now occupying his mind on a daily basis, whether he liked it or not. She walked through his thoughts on those ridiculously high heels of her, leaving him confused and distracted. In reality, however, she had been avoiding him completely. Even though it had been just for a moment, he had seen her vulnerable side . He already figured she wasn't the sort of person to feel comfortable with that, her refusal to make eye contact with him ever since merely confirmed that. It was probably for the best anyway, but staying away proved much harder than he'd imagined. He longed to reach out to her, to make her feel safe. Not that she needed that. Sharon Raydor didn't _need_ any of that, or at least that's what she wanted everyone to believe. Andy, on the other hand, wasn't fooled that easily. Which was why, just after he finished working at eight PM, he was driving his silver sedan to her Condo.

He'd been repeating, partly in his head and partly out loud, what he was going to say. He knew it was probably going to be a bit of a surprise for Sharon to find him, of all people, on her doorstep. They were by no means friends, or even acquaintances, and he felt like he at least owed her an explanation. However, as he walked through the long hallway to her door, his mind blanked completely and when he rang the doorbell he had promptly forgotten what he was going to say.

"Lieutenant Flynn?" What are you doing here?"

The surprise in her voice didn't go unnoticed by him, even though his attention was mainly focussed on her appearance. He could see that she had traded her purple blazers for a long grey vest and her trademark pumps had been long discarded and replaced by a pair of comfortable uggs. Oddly enough he had never been more attracted to her.

"I though you might want someone to talk to?"

She stared at him in momentary confusion before her surprised expression was turned into her carefully perfected poker face.

"This is not a very good time I'm afraid. I'm sorry you drove all this way for nothing, but I've got work to do Lieutenant Flynn. Goodnight."

The door fell shut in Andy's protesting face. He should have known, really, that she didn't want to talk to him of all people. He should've just turned around and walked away, it was what any sane person would do, but instead he lend against the door with one shoulder.

"you don't have to talk. I know you don't need some knight in shining armour to come to the rescue."

He was aware of the looks the agents of Sharon's protective detail were giving him, but for some reason he could not really be bothered by them.

"I know you are perfectly capable of dealing with this on your own, I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to. I'd like to be there for you."

He was sure she hadn't heard what he'd just said, that she'd already gone back inside. Yet overpowered by the urge to say what was on his mind, he talked without inhibition or fear.

"Oh, alright. Come in."

The door opened, causing him to start falling in with a startled yelp.


	18. Chapter 18

**So for some reason the formatting was all weird when I posted chapter 18 for the first time, but I hope I fixed it now. **

Andy looked around him while blowing into the steaming cup of tea Sharon had handed him moments prior. Her condo was clean – not that he'd expected any less – and surprisingly cosy. It wasn't very big, but the interior was spacious and light. On the wall he saw pictures of who he presumed were her children. From what he could see they looked like her.

"I still don't really know why you're here, to be honest."

She had returned from the kitchen with a glass of white wine in her hand. She had stopped herself earlier, the bottle already hovering above the glass, to ask him if it was okay. Of course she knew all about his history with alcohol. Hell, she had once found him completely passed out on her couch after he and jack had gone to a bar together.

"I understand. It's not every day you find me on your doorstep."

She raised one perfect eyebrow. It was enough for Andy to realise that she too remembered that one incident. He wasn't exactly proud of that. Though he could only vaguely remember that night, he knew he was definitely not the most charming of drunks.

"I know I said you didn't have to talk, but if you want to, I'd like to hear how you've been."

Intently he studied her facial expression, half expecting her to kick him out, or at least pretend not to hear.

"I'm okay I guess."

He did not, however, expect her to respond. Even if the answer she gave was not the whole truth he suspected. He shifted on the couch, unsure what to say next.

"Are you really? I won't think any less of you if you're not."

He was aware he was pushing boundaries here. She wasn't one to repeat herself, or to come back on something she'd said. He figured that was why she was looking at him in a strange, almost accusing way.

"It's not like you can think any less of me than you are now."

Her refusal to look him in the eye belied the lightness of her tone.

"I-"

Andy didn't finish his sentence. How could he? How could be explain something he didn't even understand himself. Because she was right, or actually she would have been off she'd said it two months ago. So what was he going to say to deny a fact that had been obvious since the first time they met?

"I- I think I have misjudged you. And I feel like I should make it up to you"

It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but his mind simply stopped working, leaving him stuttering something incoherent.

"You shouldn't feel obliged to make it up to me. It's not like I'm not used to having to work with uncooperative..." She paused as if looking for the right word. "Cops."

She started to clean up the coffee table. a clear sign she was done with the conversation and was probably going to ask him to leave soon.

"What if I told you I want to"

He said impulsively, desperately trying to make her understand he was serious.

"I'd say you'd be wasting your time"

She responded curtly while putting her wine glass in the dishwasher, yet the usual iciness in her tone was surprisingly absent.

"I think I would be a better judge of what would or wouldn't be a waste of my time."

He reached for his cup at the same moment she did. Their hands touched, but neither of them pulled back. She looked up, their eyes met for the briefest moment before she took the cup, her hand leaving his touch, and turned around.

"I'd like you to leave now"

Sitting in the car, Andy could hit himself in the face. He should've told her there and then what he was feeling. Instead he apologised like a stammering idiot and fled the house. Now, in the safety of his silver sedan, he felt stupid. Worse even, he felt like had just made a terrible mistake. Maybe it was only in his mind, but the way she'd looked at him in that brief moment... her eyes full of surprise, fear even, but there had not been any trail of resentment in the pale green. He should've told her the truth right then.

"What the hell"

Pulling over he had made his decision, he was going to tell her. The tires of his car screeched when he turned around and people beeped their horns, but he didn't care. He momentarily toyed with the idea of turning on his sirens, but he was a responsible cop, also he was sure she wouldn't approve. The car ride took way too long in his opinion and when also the elevator was testing his patience, he decided to sprint up the stairs instead. He was on a bit of a high to be honest. This woman had occupied his mind for weeks and now he finally was going to tell her he would like the chance to get to know her, for real this time.

Slightly out of breath he arrived on her floor and immediately noticed something was wrong, very wrong. In fact, wrong didn't even begin the scene he'd just entered, because one of the officers assigned to Sharon's protection detail was lying motionless on the floor of the hallway, bleeding and clearly unconscious.


	19. Chapter 19

**Again, I'm so sorry for leaving you waiting. I've been rather busy and after a certain time I just didn't know where to start anymore... I wanted to thank you for all your kind reviews and for motivating me to start writing again. I do hope this chapter matches your expectations. Please let me know what you think. **

"_I'd like you to leave now."_

_She'd said it before she knew it. She'd panicked. The slight tingle she felt when their hands touched was enough to send him away. The look in his eyes, the warmth of his skin, it had been too much. The moment he'd walked through the door, there had been nothing but kindness in his eyes. That in itself was surprising to say the least. But the tenderness in his gaze had rocked her to her core. Their closeness, the faint scent of his cologne…. she had been so tempted to give in. It had scared her. She'd panicked. __She had already been at a loss when he showed up at her door, even more so when he seemed to look right through her armour.__She'd been an outcast at the LAPD for so long, his concern was a completely foreign feeling for her. This was the man who'd seemed hell-bent on making her life difficult at every opportunity. They'd clashed so many times she'd lost count. She'd slapped him with every anger management and sensitivity course imaginable. He had always made sure to display the greatest dislike for her. And yet, there he'd been, genuine worry written all over his face. _

_She was beginning to wonder whether she'd made a mistake, sending him away so abruptly. His intentions, though unexpected, were good. He'd said he wanted to be there for her. As much as she didn't want to admit it, sometimes she did need someone. Someone to be on her side for a change, someone to confide in. And he was so very handsome... Suddenly aware of her train of thoughts, Sharon berated herself. She wasn't some kind of schoolgirl with a crush anymore. But he was handsome and she very much was attracted to him. Not that it mattered. Nothing was going to happen, it was not right. Not for them, in their jobs. She knew the rules, knew it wasn't worth the drama. Yet, she couldn't silence that rather pathetic, cheerful voice inside of her. He'd shown an interest, he'd said he misjudged her._

_"Oh stop it!"_

_She said out loud as she closed the dishwasher and turned it on. She was being ridiculous. She was tired. Weeks of looking over her shoulder had taken its toll. She hadn't told anyone about the uncomfortable feeling she got now and then, almost as if someone was watching her. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. But every time she would turn around, there was no one there. She would shake the feeling, tell herself off for being paranoid. Yet the feeling would return in all its force another day. She didn't want to bother Chief Johnson with such vague suspicions; a gust of wind behind her, the squeeking hinges of a door. It all seemed stupid now. She let out a giggle. She shouldn't have agreed to watch that thriller with Ricky a couple of weeks ago. That must have been it, she tried to convince herself. Only half believing it she turned around to switch of the lights. It was high time she got some sleep. The room turned dark just as she felt a shudder go through her spine. The hairs on the back of her neck tingled as they rose, standing on end. The front door opened, letting in a gust of wind._

"Deputy chief Johnson"

She said tiredly, picking up the phone. Fritz raised his eyebrow at her, but otherwise attempted to keep his annoyance from showing. They'd agreed, rather naively he admitted, to spend an evening without work. Of course he knew she had a responsibility, as did he, but he'd really hoped to just have dinner with his wife for once without one of them being called away. Because, he could tell that was what was happening. Without hanging up the phone, Brenda jumped up, starting to gather her things. She dropped everything unceremoniously into her oversized black purse, before slipping on her shoes with one hand.

"I'll be there shortly. Thank you Lieutenant."

The expression on her face was grim, letting him know that this was no ordinary case. He sighed inaudibly before holding out her coat.

"What happened?"

He walked with her to the car, sensing she didn't want to lose one minute.

"It's Sharon. She's gone."

It didn't even register to him that his wife had just called her archenemy by her first name. Instead he walked to the other side of the car, getting in.

"Come on, I'll drive you."

He could see she was distressed. He knew he blamed herself for what happened to Sharon, even though she had been against the whole undercover operation to begin with. She couldn't have known it would lead to this, none of them could have known. But she still blamed herself.

"It's not your fault, you know? You did the best you could in a very difficult situation."

He looked at her briefly, before turning his attention to the road. She probably wouldn't believe it, but he needed to try and comfort her nevertheless.

"Did I? Did I really? I went against my own judgement. I should've..."

Her voice broke a little and she stopped speaking. She needed to pull herself together before reaching the crime scene. Raydor's Condo, she corrected herself.

_Why did her head hurt so much? A white hot pain shot through her skull every time she tried to open her eyes. She was drowsy, her mind was slow, but she knew something wasn't right. It was warm, the sunlight was increasing her already shattering headache. She was lying on wooden floor, she could feel that much when she let her fingertips glide over the smooth surface. If only her head was hurting. When she finally felt herself sinking away into unconsciousness again it was a relief more than anything._

**_You're in for a surprise next chapter. At least, I hope so :)._**


	20. Chapter 20

**So that was quick. I surprised myself finishing this so quickly after posting the last chapter, but I suppose it's the least I could do after making you wait :). It's been terrific to read all your reactions and I'm so glad you are still with me. It might take a while, but I definitely intend to finish this story one day. Your reviews are very much appreciated.**

"What do you mean it happened two hours ago?! Why wasn't I informed?!"

Chief Johnson's already very present southern accent became even more pronounced as she was dressing down lieutenant Rigby.

"We tried to reach you chief, but the call was declined repeatedly. We figured you were not to be disturbed."

Brenda shot a murderous look at Fritz, who admittedly had enough sense to look apologetic. The moment he'd pressed the red button on his wife's phone, he knew it might come back to him. Fortunately she had already turned her attention back to Rigby, who was looking as if he wanted to dissappear on the spot.

"So, you lost track of McGarry two hours ago and what did you do about it? Nothing!"

There was venom in her voice as she spat the last word. McGarry was on the loose and all they'd done was put a wand out on him. They hadn't informed Raydor or her protection team or herself for that matter. It was safe to say she was livid.

"Chief Pope said..."

Rigby started nervously, but quickly closed his mouth again when chief John held up her hand, effectively silencing him."

"I think we have more serious matters at hand than Pope's clearly misguided judgements."

She started walking towards the building, beckoning him to follow.

"I trust you can inform Pope of this latest... development in the case." She paused for a moment. "And tell him I want to speak to him, when I come back to the station. He'd better be there."

"Chief!"

Andy came to meet her half way in the hall, a worried expression marked his face. An expression mirrored by the other members of her team. She'd already suspected they were beginning to rather like the head of FID. Once they'd seen that she wasn't as hellbent on the rules as they'd thought, once they'd seen she actually cared. But none seemed to have taken a shining to the Captain as much as Andy Flynn.

"Chief I'm so glad to see you. I left. I never should have left. And when I came back..."

He started to ramble, panick laced through his words. She couldn't follow a word of what he was saying.

"Calm down lieutenant Flynn. Take a deep breath."

She inhaled together with him, needing to calm herself as much as he did. She had to focus if she wanted to find Sharon, they all had to.

"Now tell me what happened."

She didn't think she'd ever seen Andy like this. When Provenza had suggested something was going on between Flynn and Raydor she had quickly found the idea to be ridiculous. Andy Flynn having feelings for rulebook Raydor, as he so eloquently called it? She'd thought it was just Provenza being, well Provenza being Provenza. But right now she wasn't so sure anymore.

"I came to her house tonight. I guess I wanted to make sure she was alright, but she asked me to leave."

Even after his attempt to calm down, he was still frantic. His voice was steadier now, but his eyes kept flitting to the door, as if he half expected her to walk through.

"Which I did in the end, but I... I felt like I needed to go back. And when I did, I found her proctective detail on the floor. One unconscious, the other one dead."

He averted his gaze.

"I was here, less than 20 minutes ago. And when I came back..."

His voice caught in his throat. He had known the young officer, knew his father. If he'd just stayed, the boy would still be alive, and Sharon would still be here. 

_2 hours later_

Chief Johnson did not like waiting. Especially not when chief Pope had mad an idiotic decision without consulting her. And she liked it even less when this idiotic decision resulted in the disappearing of a member of her team. Although strictly speaking that wasn't true, the past few weeks she'd come to think of Raydor as part of Major Crimes in a way. So having to wait outside of Pope's office until he finished a phone call did not exactly do anything to extinguish the burning rage inside her.

"Chief Johnson, come in."

The chief of police stuck his head around the corner long enough for her to catch a glimps of his forced smile. He knew why she'd come. He knew he was partly responsible for the kidnapping of Sharon Raydor. He knew she was furious with him.

"Chief Pope."

She aswered coldly, before following him into his office.

"'Are you out of your mind?! What the hell were you thinking?!"

She could see he was getting worked up as well, but she gave him no time to interupt.

"You're decision to wait and do nothing has brought LAPD officers in danger! What did you think would happen? That McGarry would walk into a shop so we could trace him? Of course not!"

Sometimes she really wondered why Will Pope was ever made Chief of Police.

"Why was there no man hunt in the first place, why didn't you even send word to Raydor's protective detail?"

She eventually asked tiredly. Her anger had by no means subsided, but she was exhausted and even she could see that shouting would get her nowhere.

"I didn't want to alarm him, have him flee the country. I didn't think he would go straight to the Captain's house."

Pope answered, looking rather tired himself.

""There was always a possibility, as you were well aware."

She knew it was pointless to ask such questions in hindsight. She, more than most, knew that there was no going back. But she was still livid and he wasn't going to get off the hook so easily, no matter how good his intentions were. She was going to say more, when suddenly the silence was broken by the ringing of her phone.

"Chief Johnson."

She answered stifly, her eyes widening in shock when she heard the gruff voice of Lieutenant Provenza. She nodded a couple of times, promising she would be down in a minute. In the few seconds it took to finish the conversation her demeanor had changed radically. Her shoulders, which had been tensed in anger had dropped and she sounded more lost than anything else when she eventually hung up the phone.

"It's McGarry. He's dead."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21! It's really getting somewhere now. To be honest, I never expected this story to be this long, but I'm quite pleased with how it's turned out so far. Please let me know what you think! **

**To AmorTv90: I'm so sorry for not replying to your pm earlier. I was on holiday, going from hotel to hotel with the worst internet connections ever. I did really appreciate your message and if I ever need help I'll definitely let you know :).**

"Kate? Kate please talk to me."

The voice seemed to be far away, but vaguely familiar. Her head still hurt, though not quite as much as before, when all of a sudden she felt a hand on her arm and her eyes flew open. The light was less bright now, enabling her to look at the man kneeling next to her. His hands were bound in front of him, much like her own and she could make out a bruise on the left side of his handsome face. Her mind was foggy, but she was sure she knew him.

"Kate, please say you're alright."

Why did he keep calling her Kate? There was something about that name. She looked into the piercing blue eyes and suddenly everything came flooding back. Instinctively she pulled away her arm as if she'd burned herself, scrambling back over the wooden floor.

"What's wrong?"

James Mcgarry seemed genuinely confused, worried even, but she still kept eyeing him suspiciously. She wanted to trust him, have an ally in this precarious situation, but she knew she couldn't. Not if she wanted to have any chance of getting through this alive. What did she even know about this man? Other than that he was a suspect in a murder case?

"Kate?"

She was remarkably calm all of a sudden. She needed to test him somehow. She needed to find out if he was playing her. See if he was really the victim here or whether he was just posing as one in some sick attempt to get close to his victim. Suddenly it dawned on her in all force, she was emthe victim/em. She couldn't afford to trust McGarry without proof. Her years as a police officer had taught her to be wary, it wouldn't be the first time someone had put a foil over her eyes. With a shuddder she thought back to detective Ally Moore. How she'd believed the woman had been attacked by her husband. And how in reality she'd caused her own bruises, even going so far as smashing het own head against the wall.

"You can stop calling me that."

Her voiced sounded hoarse, almost unfamiliar to her own ears. It hurt to speak, but she stopt herself from wincing and instead kept her eyes fastened to his face, gauging his reaction.

"My name is not Kate, but you knew that already didn't you?"

She was aware she was playing a potentially dangerous game here. It was a gamble really, but she needed to sure of his sincerity.

"I don't - What do you mean?"

He looked at her with wide, not understanding eyes and she decided to take it a step further even.

"Why should I believe you? For all I know you did kill all those other women. For all I know you're going to do the same to me."

She said slowely, her words much braver than she felt. Even in the semi dark, she could see his eyes widened in shock.

"How do you know about that? I didn't..."

His voice caught in his throat. He appeared to be more stressed than she'd ever seen him so far.

"I liked those women. They didn't deserve to die. I didn't- It wasn't me."

He said flatly. All life seemed to have dissapeared from him. His face was pale as a sheet, his eyes hollow. She could almost feel his pain.

"Please Kate, would I lie to you? If I'm going to die here, I don't want to be alone."

Against her better judgement - against everything she'd learned at the police really - she reached out to him, putting her bound hands on his arm.

"You're not alone."

She wanted to believe him, in a way she'd always doubted his guilt. He might be proud and arogant, but from the moment she'd met him her instincts had told her he was innocent. She hadn't dared to tell anyone about her gut feeling, affraid her emotions were cloudinging her judgement. Almost ashamed that she'd let feelings get the better of her.

"I just don't understand. why did you say your name wasn't Kate? What is going on? You just stopped calling."

He'd been kind to her, truly interested in what she had to say. He'd called her beautiful and she'd felt that familiar tingle in her stomach when he'd kissed her. She'd been caught in a dillema. She'd known she was working and that it was all part of the undercover operation. But part of her had enjoyed his company, his advances even. It had frightened her how easily she was taken in with him, how ready she was to trust him. That wasn't how she did things. She was objective, detached even, and she always followed the rules. But the look in his eyes when he'd kissed her had revealed a whole different side of her, a side she'd almost forgotten. It was the part of her that longed to be loved again.

"I was worried. I thought I'd done something wrong."

She couldn't ignore the obvious sadness in McGarry's eyes. It was what she thought he'd lacked all this time, the one thing that made her doubt his innocence. But she didn't doubt anymore. Perhaps it was time to be honest with him too. She was still contemplating whether to tell him who she really was, when the door opened.

"That's enough."

No, that couldn't be. She knew that voice, knew exactly who it belonged to. The man grasped James by the collar of shirt, dragging him upright and away from her. For a moment she couldn't hear anything and then the silence was split by the ear deafening sound of a gun. She saw him fall to the ground like a ragdoll, hitting the floor with a thump that made her sick in the stomach.

"You happy now? Look what you made turn into."

She hadn't seen the man for six years, but he'd clearly gotten more deranged in that time. The years hadn't been kind to him. He used to be impressive of physique, handsome even, but the man in front of her seemed to have aged twice as fast as should have. He easily picked up James' lifeless body and Sharon realised he was still stronger than he looked.

"See you later baby."

He smirked, several teeth were missing in his smile making his appearance even more eerie. He turned around and dissappeared through the door, leaving her alone again. She willed herself not to cry. she needed to be strong and brave, not ready to crumble. But it was all too much.

Would I lie to you?

That's what he'd asked her, not knowing that she'd been the one who'd lied. How lonely he must have been the last few months of his life. All his romantic interests killed and an ongoing police investigation with him as the main suspect, the only suspect. She'd liked him, as much as she hadn't wanted to admit it. He'd made her feel good about herself, even if it was just for a little while, and now he was dead.

But why?

She didn't understand how James Mcgarry had fit into the picture. Was it revenge? Most likely. After all, that was how she fit into the picture.

"A woman found his body in one of the containers here. That's her over there."

Provenza said, unnessecarily because Bendra had already spotted the middle-aged woman who was nearly hysterical.

"Okay, have Gabriel interview her while we finish up here."

She walked over to Kendall, who was crouched next to McGarry's body.

"Found anything interesting?"

She asked the forensic, grimacing at the gaping hole in the victim's forehead. She should be used to seeing this kind of thing by now, but she didn't think she ever would.

"Not much really. Gun shot wound to the head, probably instantly killed him. His hands were bound when he was found. Nothing else other than some bruises to the face and abdomen. Maybe Morales can tell you more."

This case was getting stranger and stranger. She could think of two likely scenarios: either he was killed by a family member of one of his victims or whoever had framed him had decided to kill him off rather than getting through with it. While both of these scenarios where still a possibility, something just didn't seem right. In both cases she would've expected a lot more violence and anger. She would have expected the perpetrator to have made him suffer, to draw it out. A shot in the head was quick and relatively painless and it definitely didn't add up to the other murders.

And then there was the dissappearance of Sharon Raydor. If Mcgarry was killed by the person who had tried to frame him, which was what Bendra was most prone to believe, what was it that had made him change his target?


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 :). This one's a bit shorter than I planned, but I still hope you will all enjoy reading it. Reviews are always welcome.**

"There's not much I can tell you I'm afraid"

Doctor Morales said flatly. There was no trace of his usual sarcasm filled tone as the examiner began to systematically sum up his findings.

"Time of death: between 10 and 12 PM. Cause of death: gun shot wound to the head. The bullet went through and through, so there's nothing for ballistics. Defensive wounds on the victim's hands and forearms, but no DNA found under the victim's fingernails."

Brenda felt her heart sink as the doctor continued. Nothing on the body seemed to provide any answers or clues as to who had killed McGarry.

"That's all I found so far. I will also do an internal examination of course, but I wouldn't expect much from that either. Whomever did this, knew what they were doing. "

He started to rummage through his things and held up a transparent zipbag.

"However I did find this on the victim's clothing. Now I haven't tested it for DNA yet, but I'm pretty sure we can all guess who it belonged to."

When he handed the bag to her, Chief Johnson immediately realised it contained a single hair. Long and unmistakably auburn.

"I'd recognise that hair anywhere."

She heard Provenza mumble behind her and she nodded in agreement. The length and the colour of the hair were consistent with the Captain Raydor's thick mane.

"So that would mean.. "

Provenza didn't need to finish his sentence for her to know what he meant.

"Raydor and Mcgarry were held at the same place."

And more importantly, by the same person. She completed the sentence in her head, realising that whomever had killed McGarry had also been the one to send Raydor the threats. Which almost certainly ruled out retalitiation from angry family members of their earlier victims, leaving them with one other logical option

"You will find her right?"

Her thinking process was abruptly interrupted by Morales, who was now looking at her in a strange mixture of scepticism and hope. She looked at the body in front of her, anything to avoid seeing the look in his dark eyes.

"I know you don't think much of her..."

He continued without leaving her any room to respond.

"But there are enough people that do. And she didn't deserve this."

For a moment he looked so lost, Brenda felt the unexpected urge to comfort the Doctor. She wished she could tell him that everything was going to be alright, that she would find Raydor unharmed. She wished she could believe it was the truth. But she couldn't lie, not even now.

"I will do everything I can."

She was going to leave it at that. She'd already started towards walk to the exit of the room, but something stopped her.

"You're wrong you know. I do think very highly of her. she is - she's not the person I thought her to be. "

She blurted out impulsively as she turned around, but immediately found she meant it.

"Then make sure you find her."

She heard Morales' voice behind her as she left the room, Provenza hot on her heels.

Even though she'd developed quite a stomach for the morgue, Chief Johnson still felt relief washing over her when she returned to the familiar surroundings of the LAPD headquarters. Entering the floor of Major Crimes, she found Sergeant Gabriel looking pensive at the whiteboard.

"Chief, I've been thinking. I know it sounds far-fetched, but what if our guy not only knew Mcgarry, but also has a prior connection to captain raydor? Normally I would say it's too much of a coincidence, but it just doesn't seem to make any sense for him to go after her otherwise."

She herself had been thinking about the possibility as well. It would be a coincidence, yes. But not entirely impossible. And it was the only explanation she could think of for the perpetrator's sudden change of targets.

"Lieutennant Tao, would you go through the files again, but this time include Sharon Raydor in your search? let's hope something will turn up."

In the safety of her office Brenda put her head in her hands. If Gabriel was right and there was a connection between Raydor and their guy, she had put the Captain in grave danger. It didn't matter that she couldn't have possibly known, all that mattered was that she'd sent Sharon on an undercover operation without knowing all the facts. And she knew she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she didn't find her.

_Alive._

She added silently in her head.

For the third time in two months lieutennant Tao typed in McGarry's name, this time adding "Sharon Raydor" to the search. He wasn't sure how much good it would do. He'd already closely read all the files in which Mcgarry was named. there'd been a couple of lawsuits against his company and there was his involvement in the death ruled suicide of a woman called Helen Langston, but there had been nothing useful in the documents and he very much doubted he'd find anything now. He pressed enter.

0 results. Please alter your search.

He sighed deeply as the expected screen popped up on his computer, meaning he would have to start crossreference the individual names in the files on Mcgarry with those on Captain Raydor. It was a long and tedious job, but at the moment it was their only clue. He sipped his coffee and looked at his watch, knowing he was going to be here for a while. Then he let his fingers glide over his keyboard and started typing.

After what seemed to be the umpteenth no results message, he had half a mind of calling it quits and going home to his family. He wanted to just forget about Sharon Raydor for the night and enjoy a nice movie with his wife. But then there was that pang of guilt in his chest, and the genuine concern for the woman who had made all of their blood boil within seconds of entering a room. He thought back to the chief's grimm expression, realising she felt responsible for the Captain's disappearance. And there was Flynn who seemed to blame himself equally for having left her alone on the night she was kidnapped. Taking another sip from his now considerably colder coffee, he resolved to keep looking for at least another hour. Again he pressed enter, anticipating the familiar screen. It was only seconds later that his eyes widened behind his glasses.


	23. Chapter 23

**People seem to think I enjoy leaving my readers hanging at the end of each chapter, can't imagine where they got that idea ;). Okay I'll admit it, I might enjoy it a tiny bit, but _only_ because I know it keeps the story exciting (I hope). I have to warn you though, this might be the most cruel ending so far... Let me know what you think!**

"Chief? I got something you need to see."

Lieutennant Tao had printed the files he'd found, and was clutching them to his chest when he entered his superior's office.

"In my search I've found one name that popped up in relation to _both_ McGarry and the Captain."

He hadn't counted on finding anything in the first place, but reality had very much proven to be stranger than fiction in this case. At first he'd merely stared at the name on the screen, not quite sure what to make of it. Yet, the more he'd read the more clear it became this was the person they'd been looking for. The person responsible for the four unsolved murders on the whiteboard and the kidnapping of Sharon Raydor. There was, however, a little complication. A mere detail, some would argue. But a mere detail that was almost surely going to problem.

"Well?"

Chief Johnson urged him on. She wasn't a very patient woman, never had been, and Lieutenant Tao knew he'd have to divulge the name at some point. Sooner rather than later, judging by the look on her face. He didn't blame her of course. She'd been beating herself up over the kidnapping of Captain Raydor. Any clue was welcome. And yet, he had a growing suspicion she wasn't going to be happy after hearing the name. In fact, he was quite certain she wasn't going to be happy at all.

"Well, the name I found... is Robert Keaton, Chief. Though you may remember him as..."

He didn't even have the chance to finish his sentence. Recognition already flashed over Brenda's face, striking home like lightning. And as he'd expected, she didn't look the slightest bit pleased.

"Robert Keaton?! As in sergeant Robbie Keaton?!"

Her voice was shrill with disbelief. She hadn't known the sergeant personally, except perhaps from occasionally crossing paths or sharing a lift with him. She had heard of him, however. Or more precisely, she had heard of the lawsuit against him and the LAPD after he had beaten up a suspect. There was probably not an officer within the LAPD who hadn't. Not only had the victim ended up in a hospital, he had then also turned out to be innocent. Brenda didn't remember the exact details of the lawsuit, but she recalled Keaton had lost his job over the case.

"The one and only, Chief. Although it's former Sergeant Keaton now. Perhaps you remember his wife committed suicide a couple of years ago?"

She most certainly did. According to the station gossip, Keaton had completely lost it after his wife's death and had been involved in multiple incidents before losing his badge. Though Brenda hadn't really followed most of the gossip if she was honest.

"Well according to the files, Keaton made some serious allegations against James McGarry. Apparently McGarry had a affair with his wife. An affair which he ended merely a few weeks before she killed herself."

The pieces of the puzzle slowly seemed to fall into place. If Keaton had held Mcgarry responsible for his wife's death, there was a very real possibility he'd wanted revenge.

"Of course It was ruled a suicide, so nothing came off it, but Keaton seemed pretty adamant in his convictions. He might have taken it upon himself to make McGarry pay. It _would_ explain why all the victims were possible romantic interests."

Mike Tao continued, handing one of the files to his superior. He wished he'd found out about Keaton before. Before he'd gotten to Raydor, perhaps even before they'd involved her in the undercover operation. Rationally, he knew of course he couldn't have. Helen... had kept her maiden name when she'd married Robert Keaton, making it near impossible to put two and two together, especially since there were no charges against McGarry. It had _been_ impossible, until he'd added Sharon Raydor's name to the search query.

"You might also remember that not soon after the death of his wife, there was a lawsuit against the LAPD, involving Keaton?"

He continued, mostly because the chief had become impatient again, but also to distract himself from his earlier thoughts.

"Well, although the case was settled by the LAPD, the FID investigation into Keaton did cost him his job."

He gave her the other file and Brenda quickly began to scan the first page. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the name on the top of the paper. Captain Raydor had been the one heading the investigation into the former sergeant. And according to the file, it was upon her recommendation that Keaton had lost his job.

"But what's more, not soon after the lawsuit Keaton went to prison for assaulting a police officer. Apparently he went for Raydor after being informed he was fired. Even managed to smash her head against the door post multiple times before they could pull him off her. She managed to come out of it with only a concussion and a few bruises, but it was enough to put him away for five years."

Brenda closed het eyes for a moment, willing herself not to visualise the assault.

"So when Captain Raydor suddenly showed up in the picture..."

She spoke pensively, her brain cells working over overtime to process the new information. The first three murders obviously were an attempt to take revenge on McGarry. Without a wife in the picture, Keaton seemed to have gone for the second best thing, namely McGarry's romantic interests. Eventually landing McGarry in prison was most likely also part of the plan and, as much as Brenda hated to admit it, he'd been quite succesful on that front. But then there was Sharon Raydor, the woman who, she guessed, in Keaton's eyes had ruined his life. Perhaps even more than McGarry had done.

"Keaton changed his target, killing McGarry quickly so he could focus on Raydor instead."

When Tao finished her sentence, she let out a frustrated sigh. It all fit and Brenda knew she should be happy with the progress they were making, but there was one undenyable problem. By identifying the perpetrator, they had gone from a nameless civilian to a former sergeant, a man highly familiar with LAPD policies and techniques. But anything was better than not knowing. Now they could only hope they hadn't been in the dark for too long. They could only hope that they weren't already too late.

The tear tracks on Sharon's cheeks were long dry when her captor returned. Drops of sweat were visible on his forehead and she was sure he'd just come back from disposing of James's body. Her stomach lurched at the idea and she felt fresh tears burning behind her eyes.

"Well, well, look what we've got here. Always so cold, calculating, and look at you now."

His voice was sickly sweet, mocking her. She put her hands in a tight fist, her fingernails digging into her own skin. She was not going cry in front of him. she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd broken her. He hadn't broken her. Not now. Not yet.

"Was he your boyfriend?"

His voice was unchanged as he pestered her, but she still didn't move a muscle.

"I'm going to make you suffer Sharon Raydor. I'm going to make you suffer so much that by the end of it you will beg me to put you out of your misery."

The high, sugery notes had made place for a much darker tone as he brought his mouth close to her ear. She could feel his breath on her neck, smell the stench of alcohol. And even then, she didn't move.

"And maybe, just maybe, I will be merciful and put an end to your pathetic, miserable life."


	24. Chapter 24

**A rather timely update this time, if I say so myself. And don't worry, this chapter ends on a much more optimistic note I think ;). Hope you all like it, and please let me know what you think. Reviews make my day**

She had been drifting in and out of consciousness since he'd left. The combination of the stuffy warmth and the dull aching of her head was making it difficult for her to stay focused. She didn't want to sleep. She needed to stay alert. But everytime she forced her eyes open, she would feel her eyelids grow heavy and ultimately they closed again. Her mind was playing tricks on her, showing images, flashes that left her paralysed.

_"Is this for real?! Are you really telling me to pack my things and leave? Just like that? Because this bitch here tells you to?!"_

_To say that the as-of-now former sergeant had taken his dismissal badly was an understatement. His voice was getting louder and louder with each question and each vocalisation of his disbelief. And although she was standing close to the door, in the far corner of chief Pope's office, Sharon could clearly see the vein on his forehead threatening to pop out. Robert Keaton was a big man with a short temper, that much had been clear when Captain Raydor had first met him. It hadn't been especially difficult to imagine him injure a suspect badly enough to be admitted to a hospital._

_"I have served my country for years! I have earned my place here!"_

_He was starting to look unhinged. There was something wild in his appearance, almost like a cornered animal. His breathing seemed to have quickened, his eyes were moving wildly in their sockets and his hands were balled tightly next to his muscular frame. Chief Delk moved swiftly behind his desk, trying to look nonchalant, but Sharon knew that he as well had seen the the tensing of Keaton's posture. _

_"You'd think that counted for something! I have just lost my wife for fuck sake! But that doesn't count either, does it?!"_

_He had made his way to the door, turning his back to Chief Delk and Assistant Chief Pope. Sharon quickly took a step back, not wanting to stand in Keaton's way, not when he was in his current state ._

_"I lost everything."_

_Just when he seemed ready to storm out, he turned around in the door opening. All of a sudden, though not for the first time, Sharon felt something akin to pity for the recently widowed man. He was right in a way. His life had been changed for good. His world must have caved in the day he found the lifeless body of his wife. But despite the pity she felt, there was nothing to be done. The severity of the incident implored the LAPD to act. He had completely lost it on several occasions and it had been nothing short of a miracle that only the last of these incidents had led to a law suit. Police officers were supposed to keep people safe, to prevent violence. Keaton had crossed the line multiple times. In fact, only taking his badge had been merciful given the circumstances, although Keaton certainly did not seem to think so._

_"Mister Keaton.."_

_She said carefully, consciously refraining from calling him by his title. As of this moment Keaton was no longer a sergeant within the LAPD. _

_"While I sympathise with your situation, there is no way the LAPD can..."_

_Within seconds his hands were on her shoulders and she felt her back collide with something hard and angular. A searing pain shot through her head. The room around her started spinning as her head repeatedly slammed into the door post. She heard both Delk and Pope shout, but her brain failed to register what they were saying._

_Suddenly they were all gone. She was in court. The bruises on her neck had disappeared and the concussion subsided, but as she took the stand she could still feel his hands on her, his thumbs pressing into her collar bones._

_"Captain Raydor? Please answer the question."_

_What was the question again? Her eyes fell on the looming figure of Robert Keaton._

_"Captain Raydor, you are required by law to answer the question."_

_He came closer, an eerie grin on his face somehow distorted his handsome features._

_"I thought you liked following the law so much? Answer the question!"_

_She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. He started laughing. The horrible sound echoed through the court room._

_"I'll take that as a yes."_

_No no no! She started to panic. Yes to what? What was the question? The pressure on her throat increased, She couldn't breath._

_Then it was James McGarry, standing in front of her. He looked at her, his face deadly pale._

_"You lied to me."_

_She tried to speak, tried to explain, but her tongue was sticking to her palate._

_"I could've loved you."_

_A gun shot sounded. Blood started to seep out of the wound in his head and slowly he began to sink to the ground. untill he was lying there with dead eyes staring right through her. She reached for him, but the darkness swallowed them both._

With a scream she sat upright. The attic was colder now, darker too and she was almost sure it was night. For the first time since she'd gotten there her mind felt clear, she felt focused. The nightmares, some of which had haunted her even before all this had started, had left her shaky but strangely alert. The heaviness of her limbs seemed to have lessened and to her relief she found she was able to move around on her hands and knees. If only she could find a way to get rid of the thick ropes binding het wrists. Slowly she started examining the room she was in, methodically working from one corner to the other. It was too dark for her to see, but her hands took over the role of her eyes as she carefully touched the floor, looking for something other than smooth wood.

She was almost halfway through the room when her hands bumped into something sharp. A nail sticking out of the floorboards perhaps. A surge of relief flowed through her. It would take a while, but she was almost sure she would be able to cut through the rope by rubbing it against the sharp object. And once her hands were free, she would have a much better shot at getting out of there.

There were few things Louie Provenza hated more than being called in by work in the middle of the night. _Especially_ when he only left an hour ago. Tonight, however, he found he didn't mind so much. Maybe it was because he had actually started to care about Captain Raydor, an idea which he thought was absolutely preposterous, or maybe it was just because, if anything, he hated the feeling of helplessness even more. Whatever the reason, he felt glad of the fact they finally got a lead, glad that they might have a chance to find Raydor. And when they did he would personally make sure the bastard responsible was going away for life.

It had taken him by surprise really, the protectiveness he felt towards Captain Raydor. After all, he had always felt a distinct irration whenever the woman entered the room. An irration that quickly changed into frustration and worse when she was hindering Major Crimes in any way. But then again, she _was _a police officer, and in a way she was one of them. Besides, he wouldn't wish her faith on anyone, irratating or not. Yes, that must be it, he reasoned. Of course it didn't have to do with the newfound respect he had for the Captain. And it most definitely had nothing to do with the fact that Flynn had seemed infatuated with her ever since she agreed to participate in the disasterous undercover operation. That would be ridiculous.

or would it?


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm not sure whether I like this chapter or not, but I didn't want to leave you hanging for another week or so, so it will have to do. I've gotten the question which pairing this story would be Sharon/Andy or Sharon/Brenda. Now I already had a pairing in mind, but I am curious to hear which pairing you would prefer. I don't want to dissapoint my readers. So if you have a particularly strong preferance for either one or the other, please let me know either in a PM or in a review.**

_Andy was sitting with his hands in his head. They'd all been working for most of the night. They'd even enlist the help of SIS to keep an eye out on Keaton's house and any other properties, but it seemed like Robert Keaton had disappeared from the face of the earth three days ago. Much like Sharon and McGarry had. Lieutenant Toa had been going through their suspect's expenses. Immediately after they made the connection between Raydor's disappearance and the former sergeant, they'd put a wand out on his credit card. But so far it hadn't been especially helpful. In fact he hadn't used his credit card in days now._

_On the other side of town, Julio Sanchez had been sitting in the surveillance van for what felt like hours, when finally they got the go ahead to search Keaton's house. As they'd been suspecting, no one was home. _

_"__LAPD, open up!"_

_Julio yelled, before kicking in the door. Amy Sykes was right behind him, followed by Lieutenant Cooper, both as eager as him to be doing something other than wait. But the house was empty, uninhabited. His face was grim as he called the Chief's number, knowing the chances of finding Captain Raydor had drastically slimmed down. _

The handle was stuck, that much was clear. She had lent on it with all her weight, but it wouldn't give. The window hadn't been any better and other than the door there was no way out of the room. She berated herself for getting her hopes up, for letting herself believe that she might find a way out of there once she got her hands free. What had she been thinking? That he'd leave the door unlocked? That she might have a chance escaping through the window? No, if she knew Robert Keaton at all, she knew he wouldn't be so careless. Not after putting so much effort into getting her there in the first place. He had proven to be meticulous so far, managing to escape the notice of the entire Major Crimes department. He had gotten away with murdering three women, most likely innocent bystanders, at the wrong place at the wrong time. He did all of that, just to exact some kind of revenge on James McGarry. He'd almost succeeded in framing McGarry for it. And yet, the name Robert Keaton hadn't come up once in the entire investigation. Not once.

It made her realise that, while Major Crimes was most certainly looking for her, the chances of them finding her were extremely low. They hadn't been able to figure out Keaton's involvement so far. Why would they now? No, she was on her own. And she needed to get out of there. That was the only way she'd survive this. Her eyes scanned the room, the first rays of sunlight enabling her to see her surroundings clearly. Keaton would be up any moment with some water. He had done that the day before. There had been no food though. The thought alone made her stomach rumble. So far he hadn't brought her anything to eat and she was starting to feel rather queasy. She wasn't sure exactly how long she'd been there. Three days perhaps? It felt like a lot longer, but she could only distinctly remember three times the sun had come up.

_Brenda Leigh Johnson let out a frustrated sigh while putting down the phone. She had instructed Sanchez and the rest of SIS to start interviewing Keaton's neighbours, see if they knew anything about his whereabouts, but she was finding it more and more difficult to stay positive. McGarry had already been found dead, it was just a matter of time before Keaton decided to get rid of Sharon as well. The clock was ticking and every minute that went by would potentially be the Captain's last. She'd put Andy and Provenza on interviewing Keaton's friends and family, or what was left of it, while her and Gabriel going over Keaton's files once more. The lawsuit, the IA investigation and many more, in the hope to find any information that would help them find Sharon. The situation was starting to look more and more grim and the tension in the murder room was almost tangible. The first 48 hours were critical in a missing person case, and they were well past that limit. _

Twice in a row she had closely examined the room before, but found no exit. Even now, when the light was aiding her in her search, she realised there was no way out. All of a sudden her eyes fell on the rusty old nail she'd used to cut through her bonds. It was sticking out of the wooden floor, but she reckoned it must be quite long, quite sharp as well. It might even make a decent weapon, provided she used it right. Keaton would be up in a bit, she was sure of that. If she could manage to stab him in the eye with the nail, she would probably have a decent shot at reaching the door. She strained her ears for footsteps coming up the stairs. Hearing none, she quickly let herself fall to her knees to try and pull the nail out of the wooden plank. The end was cutting into her flesh as she twisted and turned the metal object, but she ignored the pain. This might be her only chance, she had to get it out before Keaton returned. Desperately she kept pulling, never stopping. Not even when she felt warm droplets of blood trickle from her finger tops. They were just scratches, she could worry about them later. Slowly, but surely she felt it was starting to move. Bit by bit the nail was coming out, shorter than she expected, but it would still do the trick.

She sighed with relief when she finally freed the metal object. She felt the pointy end, satisfied by its sharp edge. She held her breath for a split second when she heard the sound of heavy boots climbing the stairs. Keaton was coming up, just as she predicted. She would lie in wait a few metres from the door, ready to lurch at him, the nail safely in her hand. She knew she would only get one chance, she needed to get this right. The key turned in the lock with a distinct clicking sound. Adrenaline was rushing through her veins when the handle got pushed down. She jumped forward stabbing the nail at the man in the door opening with all her strength. However, with a reflex that was far quicker than she'd been expecting, Keaton turned his head. She had just missed his eye, instead the nail left a deep gash on his cheek. She might have missed his eye, but he still doubled over in pain, letting out a horrible scream. Seizing the window of opportunity created by his disorientation, Sharon started to run through the door towards the stairs.

Behind her, she could hear Keaton's heavy footfalls. Suddenly two hands grasped her waist and she felt Keaton throwing his body against her. Unable to hold the weight her knees buckled, sending the two of them down the stairs in a tangle of limbs. The wind got knocked out of her lungs when she hit the landing at the bottom of the stairs. Desperately trying to suck in the air she tried to get up and escape from Keaton's grasp, but his hands were holding on to her wrists in an iron grip, pulling her back and into the bannister.

"You stupid bitch!"

He was out of breath as well, but easily managed to hold her in place.

"Give me one reason not to kill you right now."

"You know, I had planned how to kill you. Maybe hang you from that bannister over there. After all, it's were my wife ended her life. But I'm not fussy, if you're so eager we can do it right here."

Robert Keaton drew a knife from his back pocket and held it up to her face, pressing it against her cheek just hard enough to break the delicate skin.

"Just remember what I promised you."


	26. Chapter 26

**A very short update I'm afraid, but I hope you will enjoy reading this one nonetheless. I seem to be apologising an awful lot lately for taking so much time in between chapters... I can only say that I've been extremely busy :(. I will finish this story, the end is not far off now, but it might take some time. I am really grateful to all of you for being so patient and sticking with me. Merry Christmas everyone and a happy, happy new year!**

"So you have absolutely no idea where your brother might have gone?"

Provenza asked, disbelief laced through his words. The woman on the other side of the table had calmed down slightly since they informed her why they were looking for her brother, but she still looked rather distressed.

"I'm afraid not. You have to understand I haven't spoken to Robert in years."

Her hands were starting to shake, and she was shifting uncomfortable under their gaze.

"So why is that?"

Flynn was feeling more and more frustrated. It was clear that the woman was withholding some kind of information from them or, at the very least, she seemed reluctant to go into details about the relationship she had with her brother.

"I – You see, my brother and I…" She hesitated for a moment. "We never really got along. And when he finally got out of prison… Well, he was never quite the same."

She placed her hands in her lap, her eyes never leaving them.

"He kept going on about Helen, about how she was murdered, didn't want to hear a word about the suicide. I tried…"

She took a shaky breath, but seemed determined now to continue. Provenza and Flynn exchanged a quick, meaningful look. Keaton had clearly been planning his revenge ever since he got out of prison, if not before.

"He said he knew who'd done it, who'd murdered Helen. I tried to tell him that she took her own life, that no one was to blame, but he wouldn't have it."

Andy glanced at his watch. It was late, much later than he would have liked it to be. Much like the rest of the division, He was painfully aware that time was running out. Every minute that went by could be the Captain's last. Sharon's last.

"I'd never seen him like that. You have to understand, I had my own family to think off… I couldn't help him."

She started crying, just as Flynn's patience finally ran out.

"Look spare me your family drama, we are dealing with a missing police officer here! If you have nothing useful to say…"

He had almost made it through the door, when a small voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"What about their old house? I heard it is on sale now, Robbie might have gone back there."

Andy abruptly stood up, his chair falling to the ground as he did. The witness startled as he did so. Provenza, on the other hand, just raised his eyebrow. In the past few weeks he'd grown accustomed to Flynn's odd behaviour where the Captain was concerned. He did not claim to understand his partner's sudden interest in Raydor, but even he had to admit he was concerned and he wanted to find the Captain just as much as the other lieutenant.

"Get the address."

Without another word he moved out of the interrogation room, intending to inform the chief as soon as possible.

Sharon had been properly scared before, but it was only when Keaton stated dragging her to the living room by her hair that she truly panicked. She struggled, clawed at anything she could get hold off, but it was no use. Keaton was much bigger and stronger and her own 5'5'' frame seemed to weigh next to nothing to him. With one hand he started untangling the ropes that held together a set of blue curtains. She scratched and bit and repeatedly punched him in the side, but his grip on her hair did not loosen.

"You stupid bitch!"

He groaned when she managed to hit him in the kidney area. Temporarily he stopped his efforts, turned to her and kicked her in the stomach. as she doubled over in pain, he started winding the first rope around her wrist, effectively tying her to the radiator underneath the curtains.

"Scared yet, Captain?"

He sneered, while untying a second piece of rope. Sharon frantically tried to undo her bonds worth one hand, ignoring her nails tearing at the rough material.

"Ahh there we go."

Keaton muttered under her breath when he managed to pull down the second rope. Sharon felt her heart stop momentarily when she realised he was winding it into a noose.

"I promised remember?"

In one swift movement he freed her from the radiator and started pulling her with him, back to the stairs. White hot panic started to overtake her. Wildly she looked around her, idly searching for something, anything, that she might use in her defence. When they reached the top of the stairs Keaton put the noose around her neck and started pulling on the rope. She couldn't breath, the rope was cutting in her skin. Once he was finished tying the end round the banister... Any moment now...

In a last desperate attempt she pulled herself from his grip, only to feel a sharp pull on the rope round het neck. Coughing and gasping for air she fell to the ground where she remained motionless. This was the end. She knew it.

"Move away from her!"

Never had she been happier to hear Brenda Leigh Johnson's southern accent. She felt Keaton's hand grasp her arm, intending to pull her up, but before he could two shots sounded and he fell limply beside her. She tried to get away from his lifeless body, but it was all too much. The adrenaline coursing through her veins had kept her head clear, and her reflexes sharp, but now she felt her legs buckle underneath her. Unable to carry her own weight any longer she fell back to the floor. Dark spots danced in front of her eyes and she began shaking uncontrollably. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and she flinched involuntarily. Only when someone started removing the rope around her neck she relaxed and instinctively clutched at the familiar frame.

"Shhh I've got you. "

She heard Andy whisper as she buried her face into his shoulder.


End file.

Closer, Angst, Romance