Fosters 1. Chapter 1

**Callie pushes Stef until she can't push anymore.**

(This is the day after Stef and Lena's Wedding and after they had asked if they can adopt Callie and Jude. There is no Brallie and they never kissed so Callie never ran away. Sharon was taking the kids up to Disney Land for the weekend to allow the newly-weds a little time to themselves.)

* * *

Callie begins to feel overwhelmed by the thought of being adopted and reverts to an old habit of slitting her wrists. She hadn't done it in years and now for the first time she felt the need to do it again. She knew that she needed to tell Stef and Lena how she felt but she just couldn't bring herself to do that. She wanted so badly to be adopted and she's wasn't sure whether they would change their minds once they realised just how difficult she could be. But it was the adoption that was causing her to feel like this in the first place. She couldn't believe the irony of the situation.

She managed to get through school and the whole evening home without giving in to the temptation but the dinner conversation - which largely consisted of the wedding and the impending adoption process - became too much for her. Everyone seemed so happy and carefree that no one really noticed that Callie was pretty much silent. She had brushed off a few concerns stating that she was just tired and no one seemed to doubt her. They were all just as tired too and besides no one could see any reason for her to be hiding anything.

She looked over at Jude and saw his smiling face. She couldn't believe how happy he was. She had never seen it before. She was the only one who had ever been there for him - she knew everything about him and in all those years she had never seen him smile like that. Her heart ached at realising that all she tried to do for him was not nearly enough. She knew that all her efforts had kept them both alive and that was really more than she could ask for because that's all she had to give but still - the reality that she couldn't give him all that he needed hurt.

After dinner everyone went to their rooms to get ready for bed. Callie joined them all and within an hour everyone besides Callie was asleep. She tossed and turned for a few hours or so trying desperately to stop the thoughts that kept plaguing her mind. But the panic just kept bubbling until it finally boiled over as Callie made her way to the bathroom. She softly shut the door and began digging through the drawers looking for something she could use to help her create an outlet for all the emotions she could no longer contain. Finally finding a blade she let out a euphoric sigh that could almost be called a squeal. She put the blade to her wrist and made a hurried slash and as soon as she saw the blood start to seep out she felt relief. She slowly made a second cut not as desperate as before and was about to make a third when the door opened. Callie stopped abruptly still staring at her wrist for fear of looking up to see who was standing there.

The sound Callie had made when she found the blade had woken Stef and compelled her to check on her children. She planned to go to their rooms but the light under the bathroom door told her that that was where the sound had come from. She had a pretty good idea of which of her children she would find crying in the bathroom but she was in no way prepared for the sight in front of her.

Callie was sitting on the floor right by the open drawer with a blade to her already bloody wrist. Callie obviously stopped when she heard the door open but she still hadn't looked up at her. A sob escaped the girls lips pulling Stef out of her shock and propelling her into action.

She cautiously said 'Callie' trying to get the girls attention without startling her. The blade was still pressed to her wrist and Stef had to find a way to get it out of Callie's reach.

At the sound of her name Callie looked up to see Stef looking down at her with a mixture of fear and sadness written across her face and Callie was sure she could also see just a glint of anger in her eyes. Callie remained frozen staring up at Stef unable to move. The only sound in the room was the soft sobs that occasionally escaped Callie's lips.

"Callie, you're bleeding." Stef said stating the obvious for lack of something more appropriate to say, as she carefully knelt down in front of the teen.

When Callie made no sign of moving away Stef stretched out her hand and reached for the blade and was surprised that Callie let go of it with no resistance.

Stef threw the blade into the sink away from Callie's grasp and grabbed the hand towel off the rack at the same time. Within a second of touching the blade Stef had the towel on Callie's wrist putting pressure on it to stop the bleeding. She was most concerned about the blood dripping down her fingers and the small pool of blood already on the floor caused by the first, desperate slash Callie had made to her wrist.

At the sudden contact Callie had begun to rasp for breath. Stef was afraid that she might be hyperventilating and desperately wanted to hold the girl but the need to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding was too great. The only thing she was thankful for at this moment was that Callie did not seem to resist her. She allowed Stef to take control.

Stef spoke softly to Callie telling her that everything was going to be okay and that she wasn't alone and to just breathe and eventually Callie's breathing returned to the occasional sobs just like when Stef first entered the bathroom.

After about twenty Stef gently lifted the towel to check if she had managed to stop the bleed and was relieved to see that she had.

She let go of Callie's wrist and grabbed the girl into a hug finally letting her own tears spill down her face. The two sat like that for a good fifteen minutes until both of them had completely stopped crying.

"Callie." Stef said as she pulled away to look into the brown eyes that were so full of pain. "What happened?" She asked.

She got no response and wasn't really expecting one either so instead she cleaned up the mess in the bathroom, afraid that one of the other kids might come in, while the girl still just sat silent.

Finally she reached down for Callie and pulled her up into a standing position keeping a hold on her both to help her balance as well as to keep her from trying to get away.

She lead them both to her own room. "Lena," she called gently as she entered the room.

Lena slowly opened her eyes registering Stef's call and looked around. Stef flipped the light switch and Lena immediately closed her eyes against the bright lights.

"Lena I need you to get up." Stef said with more urgency in her voice resulting in Lena looking up immediately.

She found Stef leading Callie into their bathroom and got up to follow. Stef closed the lid of the toilet and sat Callie on it. Lena was still wondering what the problem was. "Are you not feeling well, sweetheart?" She asked as Stef pulled out the first aid box from a shelf.

Callie gave no response and Lena watched with confusion as Stef sat on a stool in front of Callie and pulled the arm towards her.

The sight made Lena gasp and caused Callie to stiffen under Stef. Stef began the gentle encouragement she had given earlier that had helped Callie calm down.

Lena and Callie just watched as Stef cleaned Callie's wrist and wrapped it in soft cotton and gauze.

Finally when it was all done Stef pushed the first aid box and the stool aside and sat down on the floor. She gently pulled Callie's hand encouraging the girl to sit down with her. Callie did as she was directed with no difficulty and Stef wrapped her arms around the teen and gently rocked them both. She looked up at Lena and the look on her face mirrored her own feelings. Lena picked up all the bloody cotton that Stef had used to clean the cuts and threw them away. She then washed her hands and put the first aid box away. Once everything was back in place both she and Stef lead Callie to their bed.

"Okay Love," Stef said gently as she arranged the covers for Callie to get comfortable. "Have a seat. Let's talk."

Callie climbed onto the middle of the bed and sat leaning against the headboard with her knees up while Lena climbed in next to her. Stef sat on her side of the bed facing the others.

"You want to tell us what happened?" Stef asked softly.

Callie gave no response prompting Lena to pull the girl in for a hug and saying "Talk to us. Callie, We're here for you."

At those words Callie exploded. "I don't want to talk to you. I just want to be left alone. Everything single thing doesn't have to be discussed. People may want to keep some stuff to themselves. I'm tired and I'm going to bed so just leave me alone okay." Callie tried to get off the bed from Stef's side but Stef instantly moved forward into her way.

"I'm sorry Love," She said as she blocked Callie's escape. "It's fine, if you don't want to talk right now you don't have to, but you are going to stay here with us tonight."

"What?" Callie said in anger. "I'm not sleeping here with you. I'm sixteen not a baby." She said as she tried to get away again.

"Callie, I don't care if you're sixteen or sixty, tonight, you are sleeping here with us. That is not up for discussion.

Callie turned to look at Lena for an out but all she saw were wide, sad eyes looking back at her. "This is crap." She mumbled under her breath."

"What was that?" Stef asked as she and Lena lay down ready to sleep unlike Callie who remained leaning against the headboard with her knees up and her head buried.

"Nothing." She said.

"Okay." Stef said as she lifted the covers. "Lie down please." Her tone was soft but firm leaving Callie with no room for debate.

Soon all three were lying still and quiet and yet they all knew that the other's weren't asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The following morning Stef was the first to wake. She checked on Callie and was relieved to find her sound asleep. She carefully got out of bed and went to make some coffee. It was only six on a Saturday but she knew that her kids would all be up soon getting ready to leave for the weekend. She and Lena had planned a wonderful, kid-free weekend but she knew that all their plans would change. Callie would not be able to go with the other kids and the time, instead, would be used to sort things out with Callie. In a way the trip was a blessing. It gave them time to focus solely on Callie without being interrupted or feeling guilty about ignoring the others. Her only other major concern was Jude. How would Jude handle the trip without his sister?

Stef had found her way into the kitchen and was sitting at the table lost in her thoughts and didn't hear her mother come into the room.

"Sweetheart, why are you up so early?" She asked as she went to get a cup of coffee for herself.

Stef looked up startled and Sharon immediately noticed the red eyes and dark circles. "What's wrong?" She asked sitting down next to her daughter.

"We had a rough night." Stef said softly wondering how to even start.

"Lena?" Sharon asked softly.

"No, Callie." Stef replied. "I caught her in the bathroom sli..." She began as a lump formed in her throat. She swallowed the lump as tears filled her eyes. "She was slitting her wrists with a blade." She finally said in a rush needing to just get the words out. She looked at her mother and was met with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Stef let out a small laugh. "Ya that was pretty much my reaction as well when I opened the door."

"What did you do?" Sharon finally asked.

"Well I was shocked until I realized she was crying. Then my goal was to take away the blade and stop the bleeding. It was really bad and took about 20 minutes of pressure to get it to stop but it finally did." Stef explained. "We tried to talk to her last night but she became so angry that I thought it was better to let her rest. That's when the second battle started. She wanted to go back to her own room. I couldn't let her just go."

"Of course not. What happened?" Sharon inquired.

"I forced her to sleep between Lena and I. She was not happy about it. She lay awake for hours just to be difficult."

"Did you sleep at all?" Sharon asked looking at her daughter's tired face.

"A little. Not until both Callie and Lena were though. Maybe a couple of hours. I've just been trying to figure out what to do."

"Do you want me to cancel the trip?" Sharon asked.

"No please don't." Stef said. "Take the kids. Not Callie of course but the rest. They are so excited and it will give us some time alone with Callie to just focus on her."

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." Sharon said gently. "This was supposed to me a nice weekend for you two."

"Honestly mom, right now there is nothing I'd rather be doing than looking after Callie." Stef admitted.

"What's wrong with Callie?" Jude asked hearing Stef as he and Jesus made their way into the kitchen.

"Good morning boys." Stef said trying to make her voice sound cheerful. "Callie isn't feeling too well so she won't be able to go with you today." She explained to Jude.

Jude just looked at her concerned. She could tell he was trying to judge if she was trying to protect him from something. She gave him a rather weak reassuring smile that resulted in him knowing that something was wrong.

"Did she do something?" He asked. "Did you change your mind?"

"About what?" Stef asked confused.

"The adoption." Jude said matter-of-factly.

"What?" Stef said surprised. "No Jude come here." She reached out for the boy and pulled him close. "Nothing can make us not want to adopt you or your sister." She said firmly.

"What did she do?" Jude asked not really believing Stef. People had made promises before and broken them. He was used to it.

Stef wasn't sure how to answer his question. "She had a rough night and didn't know how to handle it." She finally said telling him the truth without giving any details.

Jude looked at Stef as though trying to read her mind. Stef could no longer look back at the boy and so he pulled him in for another hug. Jude just stood there while Stef hugged him. This time he didn't lean in and let her comfort him.

Stef let him go when she saw Lena come into the room.

"Lena?" She asked worriedly. The single word conveyed all that Stef meant - where was Callie? was she left alone?.

Just then Callie walked into the room behind Lena. Stef gave an audible sigh of relief as Jude ran to his sister and hugged her tight.

Jude didn't ask any questions and Callie knew that he knew something was up.

"Hey young man." Sharon said encouragingly. "You ready to go to Disney?"

"We aren't going" Jude said loping down at his feet..

"Of course you are baby." Lena said as she reached an arm out to rub Jude's back.

"I don't want to go without Callie." He said.

Callie smiled back at him. She knew that Jude would love to go and that Stef and Lena wasted him to. She wasn't sure what was about to happen to her but she had to keep it together for Jude.

"Buddy, I'm not feeling so good so it's better I just stay here." Callie said carefully. "You go and have fun though."

Jude's face fell. "I know you're not sick." He mumbled as he pulled out of Callie's grasp and left the room.

Everyone just stayed still for a moment trying to understand everything when Sharon piped up. "Well let's all get ready. We should leave in half an hour." She told Jesus as they both left the room.

Mariana walked into the kitchen just then fully dressed and ready to go. "I can't wait to get to disney. You guys are going to love it." She told Callie, completely unaware of what was happening. "When mom's took us the first time we had been living with them about a year. It was the most fun I'd ever had in my life." Mariana said smiling at Callie.

Callie just rolled her eyes at Mariana and walked out of the room as Stef got up to follow her.

"What?" Mariana asked turning to Lena.

"Callie's not going today honey." She needs to stay here with us.

"What happened?" Mariana asked.

"She had a rough night and we need to make sure she's okay. We need to have a talk with her and figure some things out." She said to Mariana.

"I do need you to do one job for me though." She continued. "Keep an eye on Jude. He's not happy that Callie's not going and he's going to be a little upset, maybe even a little difficult since we are also not going to be there so I need you to help him out okay."

"Sure mom." Mariana said.


	3. Chapter 3

Upstairs Callie stormed into her own room and slammed the door. Before she made it to her bed Stef in the room as well. "If you leave a room again without permission and without someone else being in any room with you at all times I will personally handcuff you to my side. Is that clear?" Stef asked. She was angry with Callie and was not in the mood of babying her at the moment.

Callie just lay on her bed with her head buried in her pillow ignoring Stef.

Stef went and shut the door and lay down on Mariana's bed silent. After a few minutes Callie, thinking that Stef had left, pulled her sleeve up and rubbed gently on the bandages as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I can get you something for the pain." Stef said.

Callie spun around surprised that Stef hadn't left. Stef just raised an eye-brown waiting for Callie answer her. Callie just buried her head back in the pillow. Stef got up and walked over to Callie's bed and sat down beside her. She gently rubbed the teenagers back trying to bring her some comfort. "We are trying Callie." She began. "We want to help you. But none of it will be of any use if you don't help us as well. You need to let us in baby."

Callie remained with her head in her pillow and Stef let out a sigh. She didn't know how to help the girl in front of her. She just kept rubbing her back gently as Callie ignored her and sobbed silently. They just stayed like that for a while until Mariana came into the room.

"We're ready to go." Mariana said as she grabbed her bag off the bed.

Stef stood up. "Why don't we go downstairs and say bye to everyone and then we'll give you something for the pain." She suggested as she reached out for Callie's arm to get her to turn around but Callie just pulled away.

"Callie you need to get up and come downstairs now please." Stef said in a more firm voice. She didn't want to upset any of the other children, especially not Jude but she couldn't leave Callie unsupervised either.

Callie reluctantly got up and walked to the bathroom to wash her face. She didn't shut the door and noticed Stef standing waiting for her.

* * *

Once Sharon and the other kids had all gone Lena lead Callie to the sofa and Stef went to get Callie an aspirin for the pain.

"Callie, we need to talk about what happened yesterday." Lena began.

Callie just sat and stared at her hands. Lena moved from the chair to the couch next to Callie and put an arm around her and felt the teen tense under the contact.

"We're not going to hurt you Callie." She said gently. "We just want to help you. We want to know what's bothering you so much that you felt you had to do that." She said gesturing to Callie's arm.

Stef entered the room with a pill and a glass of water. She held them out to Callie but Callie didn't take them. She continued to sit and stare. Stef huffed a sigh and laid the glass and pill on the table and sat down on the other side of Callie.

"I'm going to have to clean the cuts and it'll probably hurt so it might be better if you take the painkiller." She explained.

Callie still made no move so Stef pulled her up and lead her to her room with Lena in tow where she once again cleaned and re-bandaged Callie's wrist. Lena noticed that Callie didn't flinch even once though it must have hurt her. It hurt her to think that Callie felt like she couldn't talk to them. Just a few days ago they were all so happy and she thought that Callie was happy too. Obviously something had happened and she wished that Callie would trust them enough to let them help.

Finally when Stef was done she suggested that Lena go for a shower while she made some breakfast for them. As Lena went to the bathroom Stef instructed Callie to follow her down to the kitchen.

"What would you like to eat?" Stef asked the girl but received just a shrug in return.

"You have to eat something so it might as well be something you want." Stef tried.

Still all she got was a shrug.

"Come on Callie." Stef said with a sigh. "Work with me here."

"I don't care." Callie said forcefully. "I'm not hungry."

"Well you've got to eat something." Stef said as she began to scramble some eggs. "You barely ate anything last night and it's been a rough night. You need the energy."

"You can't make me eat." Callie said angrily. "What are you going to do? Force feed me?"

"No, I can't. But we are going to sit here until you eat." Stef said as she put a plate of eggs in front of Callie.

Callie pushed the plate away and looked at Stef with a challenging stare.

Stef pushed the plate back and said firmly. "Callie, you are not to leave this table until that plate is empty."

Callie just smirked as she took the plate and flipped it upside down so all the eggs were now on the table. "Empty." Was all she said as she got up and walked out of the room.

"Callie! Get back here." Stef yelled angrily as Callie stormed upstairs.

Lena was just done dressing when she heard Stef shout. She quickly went outside just in time to see Callie slam her bedroom door shut and hear the click of the lock. Stef was as the top of the stairs now and she was practically fuming. She banged on the door and tried to open it but it was locked.

"Callie," She said. "If you don't open this door right now you will be in so much trouble."

But there was no response from Callie so Stef kicked the door in until the lock broke and the door swung open. They found Callie sitting in a ball on her bed and both of them sighed with relief that she had not harmed herself in the few minutes that she was alone.

The relief that Stef felt was quickly replaced by anger and Lena, sensing this, decided that it was her turn to watch Callie while Stef had a turn in the shower.

"Weren't you guys supposed to be having breakfast?" She asked as she sat down on the bed next to Callie once Stef was gone.

"I don't want to eat." Callie hissed at her.

Lena was shocked at the anger in Callie's eyes but showed no reaction to it. "Alright. You don't have to eat if you don't want to but you can't lock yourself in your room like that."

Callie just gave her an angry stare.

"Callie, what you did last night is dangerous and unhealthy and we cannot risk you doing that again so you are going to have to bare with us hovering until we are sure you're okay." Lena said softly.

"Whatever." Callie mumbled.

"Okay so here's what's going to happen." Lena began. "We are going to go back downstairs and you are going to take that aspirin and then we are both going to go lie down on my bed and take a nap. It's been a long night for all of us and we could all do with some sleep."

Callie reluctantly got up and followed Lena downstairs. As Lena went to the coffee table to get the aspirin she caught sight of the kitchen table still covered in a mess of eggs. "I'm guessing that's what caused the upset." She said as she handed Callie the glass of water and the little white pill.

Callie swallowed the pill without argument and followed Lena into the kitchen. She watched as Lena picked up the eggs and as she was throwing it away Callie got a rag and began to wipe down the table. When it was done Lena thanked Callie for her help and together they went upstairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Stef was drying her hair when the door opened and Callie entered the room followed by Lena.

"Hey," She greeted them with a smile.

"Nice shower?" Lena asked.

"Oh ya." Stef replied eyeing Callie. "Do you want a shower sweets? There's plenty of hot water."

"It'll make you feel good." Lena added.

"I feel fine." Callie snapped. "You guys are so annoying."

"A simple 'no thank you' would be just fine Callie." Stef chastised.

"Leaving me alone would be just fine too." Callie replied.

"You need to watch yourself Callie. I've had just about enough of you. Why don't you go lie down for a while." Stef said, beginning to get annoyed again.

"You can't tell me what to do. I'll do what I want." Callie bit back.

"No you won't. As long as you are living in this house you will do as we say." Stef snapped back.

"Why don't we all just take a second to calm down." Lena suggested trying to defuse the situation.

"No Lena." Stef snapped. "She does not get to call the shots here."

Lena hung her head in defeat. There was no point in arguing with Stef when she was angry. The best way to get her to cool down was to leave her to herself for a while. Callie, almost a younger version of her wife, seemed to be the same way. Unfortunately Lena knew that she couldn't give the girl the space she wanted. They couldn't risk it.

Lena walked further into the room to talk to Stef and Callie used this as an opportunity to finally get away. She dashed out the door and down the stairs. She knew that locking herself in any room would be pointless again so she ran right out the front door and almost to the curb.

However, within a few moments Stef had caught up to her. She all but tackled the girl to the ground. She quickly scanned the area to see if anyone had witnessed this but thankfully no one seemed to be paying attention. Stef kept a firm grip on Callie's arm as she lead the girl back towards the house. Callie tried once to break free but Stef easily overpowered her.

Once they were all inside Stef lead Callie and Lena back up to her room and this time she locked the door hoping it would slow Callie down if she tried to run again. Stef was furious and Callie wasn't doing anything to help matters.

"We are going to talk about all this Callie." She began as she sat Callie down on the bed.

Callie was about to argue when Stef pulled her in for a hug. Callie squirmed but Stef just held on. As angry as she was she knew that Callie was having trouble and she desperately wanted to help her. She was willing to do whatever it took to make things right for Callie but she needed Callie's help to do that.

"Talk to me baby." She said gently still holding on to Callie. "Tell me what's bothering you and I'll help you fix it."

Callie pulled away from Stef again and this time she made sure that Stef let go.

"Why are you doing this Callie?" Stef asked sadly. "Things were going so well. This isn't like you. What happened?"

Her words upset Callie even more and she sprung of the bed yelling, "Maybe this is exactly who I am. You don't know anything about me."

Stef and Lena just sighed and they both knew that Callie wasn't ready to talk.

"Why don't we all just relax for a while." Lena suggested again. "We could all use a nap."

"You guys sleep." Stef said. "I'm going to the store to get some stuff. Do you need anything?" She asked both the girls in front of her.

"No thanks." Lena said while Callie just ignored her completely.

"Stef gave one last sigh before she left the room.

* * *

"Lie down." Lena said as she pulled down the blankets.

"I want to take a shower." Callie said after a few minutes when she heard the car start and knew Stef was gone.

"Why don't we just relax for a while Callie." Lena suggested.

"No, you were right. A shower sounds nice." Callie said in an agreeable tone.

"Alright." Lena finally gave in. "You can shower but you need to leave the door open."

"What?" Callie snapped.

"You can close the shower curtain but not the door. That's the deal." Lena said.

"Fine." Callie gave in and went into the bathroom. Although she didn't get much privacy she at least got to have things her way. She knew that with Stef gone for a while she'd be able to get away with some stuff.

"You have ten minutes." Lena called after her. Lena realised that Callie was playing her and it upset her but she was so tired that she didn't have the energy to argue. This was one of the very few times that Lena was thankful for Stef's job - her ability to take control and to push through amazed Lena sometimes.

In the shower Callie turned on the water and immediately felt her body relax. She had only wanted to take a shower to defy what she had been told to do but she realised that Stef and Lena had been right all along - the steaming hot water felt great running down her head and body. After a few minutes of just letting the water run she grabbed the shampoo to wash out her hair. As much as she wanted to defy authority she did not want Lena barging in on her in the shower.

Less than ten minutes later Callie was done with her shower and she stuck her head through the curtain to make sure that no one was around before she stepped out. She quickly dried herself and dressed in the same clothes she had worn before and then walked out of the bathroom.

Lena watched Callie as she entered the room and Callie noticed Lena's eyes glance towards her hands.

"I didn't do anything." Callie stretched out her arms to reveal nothing but the scars from the previous night.

"I'm glad." Lena said relieved that the shower really had seemed to mellow Callie out.

"Why don't we go get something to eat." She suggested. It was way past lunch time now and she hoped to get some food into Callie while she was in this slightly better mood.

Callie nodded and together they went downstairs. Lena made them both turkey sandwiches and they ate mostly in silence.

When they were both almost done Lena spoke up. "Callie, did you plan to do that to yourself?" She asked cautiously.

Callie just nodded her head and looked down. She had just about gotten through half her sandwich and her appetite was decreasing by the minute.

"Have you done this before?" Lena questioned.

Again Callie only answered with an affirmative nod making Lena cringe.

"In this house?" She almost whispered not really sure she wanted to know the answer.

This time Callie shook her head and Lena gave an audible sigh of relief. Since Callie was actually answering questions she decided to try one that required a verbal answer.

"How long since you did it before?"

Callie was quiet for a long time and when Lena was almost sure that she wasn't going to answer at all she finally said softly "three years."

Lena nodded and was surprised when Callie continued. "The last time was after Liam."

Lena didn't know how to respond so she reached out for Callie's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze and was pleasantly surprised when the teen didn't pull away.

After lunch Lena insisted that they were going to lie down and when Callie looked like she was about to argue she promised that they didn't have to talk if she didn't want to. Callie continued to stare at Lena for a few more moments and then reluctantly did as she was told. Lena sighed with relief. She was so exhausted. She hadn't slept much for two nights - the first night because she had just gotten married and the second because of Callie's breakdown. She desperately needed a few hours of shut eye and she knew that it would be good for both Callie and Stef too. She couldn't control Stef but she at least had a little power over Callie so she used it to get Callie into the bed.

Twenty minutes later both of them were fast asleep and stayed that way for a couple of hours. Finally Callie woke up and looked over at Lena. When she saw that Lena was still sleeping she carefully got off the bed and headed out the door. She needed to be out of this house. She felt like the walls were closing in on her especially after Stef had told her that she had to do as they said as long as she was living in this house. She didn't know where to go or how long she'd be gone, all she knew was that she needed to get out of the house. She also knew that if she wanted to go then she had to do it quickly before Lena woke up and definitely before Stef got back.

Within the next few minutes Callie got whatever money she had, grabbed her cell phone and was out the door. She carefully looked both sides to make sure that Stef was no where to be seen and then began walking.


	5. Chapter 5

Stef just drove around aimlessly for a couple of hours needing to clear her head before she finally got to the store. She knew it wasn't fair to leave Lena alone to deal with Callie but she just needed the time to cool down. Callie had made her more angry than she had ever been in her life. Just as she was about to enter the store her phone began to ring and as she looked at the caller ID and saw Lena's name flash across the screen she assumed Lena was wondering why she was taking so long.

"Hi Love." She answered.

"Stef, she's gone." Lena said in a panicked voice.

"What?" Stef asked shocked.

"I fell asleep and when I woke up she was gone." Lena said sounding miserable.

"Lena!" Stef chastised gently, not really blaming her wife but still worrying about their girl.

"I'm sorry Stef." Lena said softly.

"Okay we'll find her. Have you tried her phone?" She asked.

"She's not answering and it's getting dark Stef." Lena said miserably.

"Okay let me see if I can track her." Stef said as she hung up the phone to track Callie silently hoping that the girl had taken her phone.

As she waited impatiently for the screen to tell her where Callie was she began to worry about all the things that Callie might do unsupervised. Without realising it Stef began to cry so hard that she had to get back into her car and sit down. It took a few minutes for her to calm down and she only really did once she saw that Callie was only about twenty minutes away. She heaved a sigh of relief as she started the car and dialled Lena's number.

"She's at the beach." She said when Lena answered. "I'm heading there to get her right now."

"Find her Stef." Lena said in a pleading voice.

"I promise Love." Stef replied gently hoping that it was a promise she could keep.

* * *

She found Callie exactly where her phone told her she's be. As soon as she saw the girl sitting on a piece of driftwood she relaxed a little. Callie obviously hadn't done anything to hurt herself and Stef took the opportunity to just observe the girl. She looked sad but otherwise alright and Stef wondered yet again what it was that was troubling her. Callie was just looking out at the ocean and would occasionally trace her hand through the sand. She finally decided to approach the girl.

The sand muffled the sound of Stef's footsteps and Callie was startled when she finally noticed Stef as she took a seat next to her. As Stef watched Callie she noticed her face go from surprised and relieved to angry. The thought worried Stef immensely. Were they the reason that Callie was so miserable? She desperately wanted to ask Callie whether she was upset about the impending adoption - because, as much as she wanted to deny it she realised that that's when Callie seemed to withdraw - but she knew that this was not the place. Out here in the open not only were there other people to see but also Callie had the space to run and Stef wouldn't know where to find her. Instead she just sat next to the girl quietly.

Right before she approached Callie she had sent a text to Lena telling her that she had found Callie and so the two just sat in silence for ages. Finally it got too dark and Stef wrapped an arm around Callie's shoulders and said "Lets go home." She was relieved when Callie did as she was told.

The drive home was silent and the moment they entered the house Lena wrapped her arms around Callie with tears in her eyes.

"You scared me Callie." She said as she pulled away from her and caught Callie's hands to inspect her wrists.

"I didn't do anything." Callie said, knowing why Lena was doing that. "I just went for a walk." She knew that it was an excuse that would get her nowhere but still she tried anyways.

"That's not an excuse." Stef said exactly as Callie predicted she would. "You do not get to just leave like that. You can be mad and say whatever you want, hell you can even throw a damn tantrum but you do not ever, _ever_ leave without someone knowing where you are going to be."

"I just went for a walk. I needed some space." Callie mumbled.

"Then you ask for it." Stef said.

"Like you would have let me go." Callie said with a roll of her eyes.

"You're right, we wouldn't have let you go this time but you still have to ask." Stef agreed. "And you know why we would have said no, Callie?" Stef stated.

"We didn't know where you were Callie and we were so worried." Lena said with worry in her voice. "do you know what could have happened to you?"

"Probably better than you." Callie mumbled.

"Excuse me." Stef said.

"Nothing." Callie replied with a sigh.

"Allright." Stef said deciding to let it go. "It's late so let's just have dinner and get to bed." She hadn't slept in two nights and had barely eaten all day and it was taking a toll on her.

* * *

After a quiet dinner where Callie didn't do much more than push food around on her plate Stef and Callie went upstairs while Lena did the dishes. Stef prepared herself for another battle about the sleeping arrangement and was right to do so. Callie marched straight to her own room with Stef right behind.

"You know you're sleeping in our room right?" She asked trying to avoid an argument.

"I'm not going to." Callie said determined.

"Callie, I'm really tired and I'm not in the best of moods so for all of our sakes could you just please do as your told." Stef tried to reason with her. She was so exhausted and just didn't have the energy to fight.

Callie stubbornly sat down on her bed indicating that had no plan to do anything that she was told. Stef sighed and sat down next to the girl. She didn't talk or try to make contact, she just sat there. After a few minutes Lena walked in.

"What are you two doing?" She asked.

"Callie wants to sleep in here." Stef said feeling drained.

"Well Callie, you know that's not going to happen but why don't Stef and I step outside for a few minutes so you can change?" Lena suggested.

Stef was surprised when Callie nodded and got up to grab her pi's. Lena gestured Stef out as she instructed Callie to leave the door open.

"Why does she only listen to you?" Stef asked in disbelief.

"For the same reason that you listen to me." Lena said with a smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Stef asked taking the comment personally.

"Come on Stef." Lena said surprised. "She's exactly like you. You're both equally stubborn so with you it's a contest - who can be stubborn for longer."

"I am not stubborn." Stef said, the first few words with force but the last one almost a whisperer as she realised that what her wife had said was true.

Stef conceded to her wife's statement as she walked back in to Callie's room, knocking as she entered but not waiting for a response She was relieved to find Callie ready and without a word she grabbed Callie around the shoulders and lead her to the master bedroom.

Once all three of them were inside Stef locked the door with the deadbolt. If Callie tried to get out during the night then the lock would make a noise. At least this way she and Lena could get _some_ sleep.

"Go ahead and brush your teeth." Lena instructed Callie.

Once Callie was gone Stef pulled Lena aside. "You should have seen her when I found her at the beach. She looked so sad and when I went to her she was so relieved but just for a moment, within seconds it had changed to anger. I get the feeling that we're what's making her so angry.

"She actually was quite calm when we were alone." Lena said softly. "She didn't do everything I said but she didn't get as upset either and she even answered some questions."

Stef raised her eyebrows motioning for her to continue.

"She's cut herself before..." Lena began and Stef's eyes got wide so she quickly added "...but this was the first time in this house. She hadn't done it in years."

"That still doesn't make it okay." Stef said.

"No it doesn't." Lena agreed.

"So it's just me she's angry at?" Stef asked, more to herself than Lena.

"I don't think it's anger." Lena said softly.

"It's a test." Stef said as realisation dawned on her and all the pieces began to fall into place. "She's pushing to see if I'll break."

Lena nodded indicating that she had also been thinking along the same lines.

"But why only me?" Stef asked.

"It's not only you, it's just more you than me." Lena tried to assure her.

"But why? Stef asked again.

"I don't know." Lena admitted.

They were both silent for a moment and then Lena spoke.

"I think it's because you're so strong. I think she finds it safe to push you - I think she's pushing you so hard not to see if you'll break but hoping that you won't. I don't think she even realises what she's doing or why."

They sat in silence thinking about what they had just discovered until Callie came out of the bathroom. As a routine now Lena's eyes skimmed over her arms to check for new cuts but there were none.

"Let's all get to bed." Stef said, completely exhausted. Callie hesitated and Lena went to help her to the bed.

Stef waited for Callie to be tucked in before she got in herself. She watched Callie for a moment and noticed how uncomfortable the girl felt between them. She briefly considered setting her up in a sleeping-bag on the floor but quickly dismissed the idea wanting Callie as close to her as possible. Before she turned off her light she scanned the door just to make sure that it was locked.

"Good night Loves." She said as she turned out the lights getting only one reply from across the bed. She wasn't really surprised - she hadn't expected Callie to speak.


	6. Chapter 6

Within ten minutes Stef could hear the even breathing of Lena and Callie. The hectic day had wiped them out. Stef wished that she too could just fall asleep but her new-found realisation kept her mind at work. Realising that Callie was testing her, and unknowingly at that, did little to calm her anger. But it did help her realise that she was going to have to just go through this with Callie and help them both make it out on the other side.

She must have fallen asleep soon after because she was woken by Callie fidgeting beside her. She was about to reach out for the girl to calm her but felt that the contact might upset the girl further so instead she just waited. When she realised that Callie was trying to scoot off the bed she had to force herself not to stop her. She wanted to know what the girl was planning.

Callie finally got off the bed and looked closely at Stef and then Lena to make sure that she hadn't woken either of them before she quietly padded to the bathroom. She closed the door as much as she could without actually shutting it and flipped on the light.

Stef's breath caught as she got up and headed towards the bathroom herself. She stopped at the door for a moment to listen and was surprised to hear silence. She gently pushed the door open and was relieved and slightly surprised to see Callie sitting against the wall with her knees up and her head buried. She didn't like to see her so upset but the fact that she wasn't trying to hurt herself was more important to Stef.

"Sweetheart." She said gently as she went to sit by the girl. She wrapped one arm around Callie and used her other hand to gently lift the girl's face. When Callie finally looked up Stef saw red eyes and a tear-stained face. Callie looked absolutely miserable and Stef couldn't told her own tears in. She just hugged Callie for a while as the two of them cried.

After a few minutes Lena woke up realising that the bed was empty and went to check on Callie. The bedroom door was still locked and she could see the sliver of light around the bathroom door and knew where to go. As she opened the door she was a little nervous about what she would find but smiled when she saw her wife and daughter huddled together.

"Shouldn't you two be asleep" She asked playfully as she sat on a stool opposite the others.

"I couldn't sleep." Callie mumbled.

"What happened?" Lena asked gently.

"Nothing." Callie said.

"Talk to us baby." Lena coaxed. "Trust us to help you."

Stef felt Callie stiffen in her arms and was about to say something when Lena continued.

"Are you afraid of us Callie?" Lena asked. "Are you afraid to tell us how you feel?"

Once again Stef felt Callie get more tense and she realised that Lena was on the right track. She hoped that they would be able to get through to the girl.

"Callie we would never, ever hurt you." Stef added on to Lena's statement. "We can't bare to see you hurt. How could we hurt you?"

"I didn't hurt myself." Callie said miserably as she held out her arms.

"Honey, we don't like to see you hurting in any form." Lena explained. "Just because you aren't hurting yourself don't mean you aren't hurting. We can see it Callie, behind all that anger we can see the pain. And we want to help you feel better, sweetheart. Give us a chance."

Callie was completely ridged now and Stef could tell that it was too much for her. She tried to calm the girl down. "Why don't we go back to bed. We can talk more in the morning." Lena gave Stef a confused look and Stef told her to back down with her eyes. Lena nodded, trusting Stef completely.

But it was too late. Callie was too wound up and when Lena reached down to help her up she snapped.

"Why do you even care?" Callie burst as she pulled away from the two women. "I don't even belong to you."

"Callie." Stef began but was cut off.

"You don't understand." Callie said directly to Lena. "How could you? None of us are your kids. Not really anyways. Not like Stef has Brandon."

Lena was struck. She had never felt like these weren't her kids. The face that he hadn't given birth to any of them was never an issue for her. She loved them like they were her own and she thought that that was enough. She couldn't stop the tears that began to fall down her face but she kept her mouth clamped shut to hold back the sobs that were trying to escape.

Callie saw the hurt in Lena's eyes and a part of her regretted what she had said. She turned towards Stef, who had by now let go of her completely, and saw nothing but anger. Callie wasn't sure why but she suddenly felt very afraid - she knew that neither of these women would hurt her but she was afraid all the same.

What she didn't know was that while she was confused about her feelings, the two women, though hurt and angry, had figured it out for her. They could see it in her face - she was afraid that she had pushed too hard.

Stef was livid. She had never seen her wife so hurt and she couldn't help but be angry at whoever caused it - even if it was her own daughter. She grabbed Callie by an arm and yanked her up and all but dragged her back onto the bed.

"You do NOT get to be disrespectful to ANYONE in this house. Is that clear.?" Stef asked with such force that it made Callie too afraid to respond. "You do not get to hurt someone else just because you are hurting." Stef continued in the same angry tone.

Stef was about to continue but Lena interrupted her. She sat down on the bed close to Callie but without any physical contact. "I love you Callie." She said firmly. "I know that you aren't my biological child but I love you so much that there is _nothing_ that I wouldn't do for you or the others."

Callie looked up at Lena with wide eyes. She was angry at Lena for getting over her hurt so quickly and at Stef for the power she had over her. But she was also relieved that Lena, at least, seemed to still be on her side. She was afraid of letting them in and even if she wasn't she had no clue how to start. All these feelings were too much for Callie to handle and she needed an outlet for all the built up emotion. She unconsciously squeezed her wrist to inflict some pain on herself as she began to shake and cry uncontrollably.

Stef and Lena both saw Callie break down and were around her within a second. Lena held Callie close while Stef grabbed her hands to keep her from hurting herself.

After a few minutes Callie had calmed down some and Stef gently pulled her upright. She kept a firm grip on the girls hands but adjusted herself so she could look directly at Callie beaconing the girl to look up at her. When she was sure that she had Callie's attention she began, "You can keep pushing Callie." She said in a calm but strong voice. "You can keep going - we're not going anywhere we aren't going to break."

She let those words sink in for a few moments before she continued. "I have a son that I gave birth to and I can promise you that there is no difference between the way I feel for Brandon and the way I feel about any of you. You are all just as much a part of me as Brandon and I know that Lena feels exactly the same. When I see her looking at you I can see the same thing in her eyes that I feel myself."

Callie looked like a small child now. Almost like she had shut down because she couldn't control her feelings any longer. But Stef knew that she was listening because she could see Callie trying to believe in what she was being told and that prompted her to continue.

"You are our daughter baby. Wherever it is that you came from, you're here now and you are ours and you belong with us. So you can keep pushing until you are certain that you are safe with us because as long as we are alive we will be there to fight for you. You may go against our orders or try to hurt us and we may get angry, we may yell and you may get consequences but we will still love you. Nothing you can do is going to push us away. Nothing you do will break us."

Stef gave Callie a moment as she saw tears in her eyes and then pulled her into the tightest hug Callie had ever received. And Callie finally let herself go, too exhausted from from holding it all in for so long. She finally felt safe enough to let Stef take over and that instantly made her feel like she could breathe again.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed into Stef. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I didn't know what I was doing." She was getting panicked and Stef shushed her.

"It's okay love." Stef whispered. "We knew."

Stef looked up at Lena and gestured for her to join the hug. All three of them crying but allowing someone else to comfort them.

Stef and Lena smiled at each other as they realised that they had made it though to the other side and Callie had finally taken the first step to being a part of their family. It had been an extremely long and exhausting twenty-four hours, but they had made it though and they didn't regret one minute of it. They had been their for their girl and been who she needed them to be. She was their daughter - regardless of what anyone else said - she was their daughter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note**

So that's the end of that story. I hope you all like it. Thanks to all those who wrote such wonderful reviews and I apologise to the one who wanted it to be about Brallie but I honestly couldn't do that - I couldn't have put my heart into something I didn't believe in.

I know that this story had been a bit intense but I have my reasons:

\- Stef was hard on Callie because that's who she is. It didn't change the way she felt about the girl but she strongly believed in not letting her get away with bad behaviour just because she was having a rough time. If she was truly to prove to Callie that she could be trusted to handle whatever Callie gave then she had to be honest with Callie too. Although I tried to make Stef and Lena equals I have to admit that I am partial towards Stef - there's something about her that draws me to her so a lot of the story centres around her but I also think that Lena complements her personality perfectly.

\- Callie also had some dark areas but I didn't want to make the whole story about her harming herself. She was upset and confused and angry but she also wanted things to be different - she just didn't know it. Through out the story I made sure that Callie didn't feel sorry for the way she was acting because I wanted to show that she had no control over her feelings. Her 'test' as Stef called it was unconscious. She pushed because she needed to make sure that she was safe and her ignorance of the fact that she was doing it allowed her to push with everything she had without holding back because of feeling guilty.

The story seemed more realistic this way (at least to me) and I hope that no one was disappointed.

Once again thanks to all who wrote such amazing reviews. I was giddy with excitement every time I received a notification saying that there was a new one. These few stories are the first time I have ever let anyone else read my work (though I've been writing stuff for ages) and I have to admit I was nervous. I now know that I had nothing to worry about and you all really made this process extremely enjoyable.

You are great and I can't wait for updates to your stories.

Love

Junebug.


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