text: Like "The Blair Witch Project" before it, "Hatchet" has garnered its own fair share of publicity from the bottom-on-up (as an avid reader of Fangoria Magazine, the full-page ads are hard to miss); even after its middling theatrical run, the film is bound to subsist solely on the hype surrounding it, and will probably turn into a cult item at some point. With a MySpace URL and a mighty (if puzzlingly subjective) promise of preserving so-called "old school American horror," "Hatchet" will draw a lot of curiosity seekers with its DVD release (where that claim is emblazoned on the disc itself). Perhaps it was the large-print blurb from Ain't It Cool News on the ads that caused me to approach the film with some trepidation (it seems that Harry Knowles and his minions will approve of any film for VIP passes and free food), but "Hatchet" makes me question what writer-director Adam Green's idea of "old school American horror" really is: based on the evidence here, it means the insipid, late-'80s rip-offs of "Friday the 13th" and "Deliverance." The characters are obnoxious stereotypes (black Chris Tucker type, Survivalist Chick, Topless Bimbos, Requisite Old Couple, Asian Tour Guide) whose interactions are marred by painful, trying-to-be-hip dialogues and mostly obvious stabs at humor (not quite as bad as "Cabin Fever," but still); the script has too much padding (the "rustling bush" scene, for example), and "Hatchet" winds up as typical as any postmodern slasher of the last decade, with its only distinguishing trait an expertly-calculated hype machine. I'll give it some faint praise for the gore--if you can wade through the padding in between kills, the red vino is definitely a thing of wonder, and the only real reason to watch this.