Title: I am currently a Linux administrator at a state university in the US. I do the standard variety of administrative things that one would expect: provision servers and VMs, manage storage pools, use monitoring tools to keep track of systems, use configuration management tools to automate installation and configuration of packages and services, etc, etc...<p>As more and more services and tools are rolled into cloud provider&#x27;s portfolios, I can&#x27;t help but think that there&#x27;s no point for me to exist. Here on HN, in person with other tech-minded people that I know, and elsewhere in the tech sphere, I&#x27;m bombarded with a viewpoint that boils down to: &quot;Be a developer, or get out of the tech industry.&quot;<p>Herein lies the issue. I have thus far been unsuccessful in any programming endeavors that I have attempted. I can manage to throw together bash scripts and other glue that&#x27;s necessary to make automation tasks function at my work, but these are largely cargo culted from various stack overflow posts or other online resources. Whenever I attempt to dive into anything that I would consider &quot;development&quot;, such as python programming, it&#x27;s as if my brain completely ceases to function and all of the words and symbols on my screen turn into an incomprehensible alien language. It doesn&#x27;t matter how long I stare at it or how much I reference the documentation, that alien language never reveals its true meaning to me.<p>This inability to understand syntax is not only saddening to me, it&#x27;s made much worse by a variety of mental issues that seem to amplify the issue, such as: PTSD, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and dyscalculia. All of these feed off of each other in a vicious cycle of frustration, hopelessness, self-loathing, and worse.<p>I suppose my question is:<p><i>Has anyone had a similar experience and managed to push through the mental blocks associated with learning to program while having your own mind constantly working against you?</i>
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