Title: It‘s not a phase. I am turning 30 soon. I have had this feeling ever since i can remember. I know, often times i am subconsciously aligning my actions to end up alone. Sometimes it seems like i do that to create something like a melancholic void, that i must feel, because otherwise, i would feel empty…<p>I can‘t summarize it better right now. I have learned the portuguese word „saudade“. That feeling, i believe i know. It seems somehow related, to what I am trying to describe.<p>I truly can not handle it anymore…<p>How do you deal with it?<p>Also I have recently read about „intellectual loneliness“ on here, which i resonated deeply with. It is not what i am describing, but rather a part of it. But the totality is too much for me.<p>I don‘t even know what to expect from posting here. I just have nowhere else to turn to…
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