Title: Been professionally developing since my teens. Was the first person in the history of my university who was both a fulltime student and full time employee. Exceeded in all expectations at every job. Became the founding CTO of a start-up, put my heart and soul into it, and we sold for low 8 figures. Started a second company with some of the same people but directions started to diverge and I left. I moved to a different state for another job. Became a freelancer for a while. One of the guys who was at both start-ups recruited me into his current company with a total comp far exceeding what I asked for. All mortgages, car notes, and credit cards are paid off and our investments are enough for our day-to-day. I’m really only working for the health insurance.<p>But I&#x27;ve never been more unhappy and lost.<p>I used to joke that I would be dead by the time I was 40 though stopped because The Wife hated hearing it but I do feel like I have no plan past this point. Being in pandemic lock down during this time hasn&#x27;t helped. I told my therapist that I feel like I&#x27;ve hit my mid-life crisis, though not your typical one as I&#x27;m not going out and buying a muscle car to cruise high schools. I know I&#x27;m depressed and have been for the majority of my life. Been in therapy for a while and tried various pills (didn&#x27;t help), TMS (somewhat helped), and thinking about trying Ketamine.<p>I feel like I&#x27;ve hit my zenith already and it&#x27;s just a slow decline from here on out. I’ve been dreading this day because it’s a sad reminder of that.
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