Title: I&#x27;ve been programming on and off since the age of 16. Unfortunately, I have never been a rockstar programmer. I&#x27;ve always pieced code together from multiple sources to create programs but I&#x27;ve always failed to come up with a solution from scratch of my own and provide any value. I&#x27;ve always wondered how other smart people are able to come up with libraries, services and various solutions from scratch. I&#x27;ve devised countless ideas only to never execute them for various reasons or get started with them only to never fully complete them and see it all the way through.<p>I&#x27;ve already wasted my entire teens and 20s, current 28 years old, working as a software engineer (Full-Stack) at a startup for ~4 years. I&#x27;ve been feeling like a loser and not good enough for this career even though I am a sole developer for Mobile and Web platforms at this startup in a very small team. I&#x27;ve put in countless hours of work every day (70-90 hrs), being on-call almost 24&#x2F;7, sometimes for straight 7 days for months despite only getting paid on a salary basis on 40 hr work weeks; being a loner helps with working long hours. My salary also hasn&#x27;t increased much, and feel like I&#x27;m severely underpaid based on the # of years of experience but I struggle with evaluating my value in the market to determine my worth. I assumed working hard would pay off but that hasn&#x27;t been the case at all; I truly believe I&#x27;ve been doing the opposite of &quot;Work Smart, Not Hard&quot;. I&#x27;ve been trying to get back to learning DS and Algos so I can apply to places but I struggle with LeetCode, which is making me feel like even a bigger loser for not being able to solve problems.<p>I&#x27;m stuck in a rut, wanting to better my skills and earn a good amount of money but unable to concentrate, riddled with brain fog, and unsure of my future. My self-confidence and self-esteem are taking a hit. I am terrible at networking, so I don&#x27;t have others to reach out to for tips and advice, hence I&#x27;m turning to HN. I apologize if this isn&#x27;t the place for a post like this. How can I turn my directionless life around and find satisfaction with my career?
Upvote: