Title: I&#x27;m a 25 year old for whom the internet has been a long time source of fascination and joy. My parents weren&#x27;t well off and couldn&#x27;t afford to send me through university so I decided to study on my own. For a self taught engineer who lived in a place where nothing extraordinary ever happened, I lucked out and worked for big name brands, with amazing people and made good money. But a year and a half ago, the most unfortunate thing happened and I lost my childhood friend to cancer. We did everything together, from racing toy cars as a child to hanging out at our favorite Persian restaurant as grownups, we were best of friends for 23 years. And needless to say his death destroyed me.<p>The first few months I cried every other day, I would scream my lungs out and cry in my car. It helped to cry, after which I could get on with the rest of my day. The crying eventually gave way to a need to rebuild my life. I took every opportunity to be social, exercise and do good work, all of which made me happier and my life was starting to look good again.<p>But in recent months, I have been losing motivation and the activities that used to give me joy no longer do anything for me. 
Nothing interests me anymore. I am no longer motivated to solve problems, make money or do anything really. I just work enough get a paycheck, binge watch TV and occasionally go out with friends. I have become unproductive, feel constant anxiety and regret.<p>My judgement has become cloudy and I have trouble making even everyday life decisions. I find myself making decisions that I in hindsight usually regret. Even with all the agonizing, overthinking, reasoning, coin tossing and deliberating, I find myself making wrong decisions. The regret and failure of that decision manifests as an anxiety attack. I am tired of feeling this way!<p>How do I get over decisions that I know I screwed up on?
How can I think more clearly and make better decisions? 
How do I get my life back in order?
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