Title: I am a software engineer who worked in big tech for about six years. I left my job earlier this year to start a sabbatical to decompress before I did stuff on my own. I generally had very good feedback while I worked but I think I solved harder problems when I was doing advanced physics or calculus in University.<p>Over the last few weeks though I haven&#x27;t been feeling very motivated. Doing something of my own sounds tough and finding a job just seems so much easier. There&#x27;s some framework that exists and you purely have to execute.<p>I have come to realize that for a very long time I haven&#x27;t worked on hard problems consistently. Sure I have had spikes where I had to work hard and a lot but those spikes would die out after a few weeks. I was very competitive till the first few years at school and then it somehow dropped.<p>I also feel that the reward mechanisms in my head have been short circuited. A high paying relatively easy tech job, doom scrolling on social media, getting food delivered in a few minutes and the easy supply of porn on the internet have made delayed gratification tough and have made instant gratification the default state.<p>What sucks more is that ambition has now been replaced with envy. I see someone doing something like &quot;getting a promotion&quot; and I become envious and I wonder how do I do that &#x2F; what am I doing but lack the will to execute.<p>I am hoping(envy &amp; big lack of ambition) this is just these last couple weeks and I snap out of it.<p>1. How do I fix this? Is this burnout or depression?<p>2. How do I get ambition back and get rid of the envy?<p>3. How do I retrain the delayed gratification &amp; work on hard things muscle? I think I&#x27;ll start going to the gym and lift weights.
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