When we celebrate patriotism on national holidays like the
Fourth of July, we don't expect our country to be perfect. And
that's okay — we still love our country. But when we sit
opposite each other at a Valentine's Day dinner, we feel
profoundly uneasy, even threatened, if, just then, not
everything feels right. These are the impossible expectations of
romantic love: It must be unconditional, constant and, of
course, invariably passionate. Anything else casts doubt on
whether the love is genuine. And this needless doubt can
paralyze or kill a relationship. It hasn't always been this way.
Before dropping hundreds of dollars on a Valentine's Day date or
bemoaning loneliness that night, recall how love was regarded in
ancient times — and consider whether some of these older
incarnations might be worth reviving. There is no holiday
celebrating friendship, but only since the mid-19th century has
romance been elevated above other types of love. For most
ancient Greeks, for example, friendship was every bit as pass