By now you’ve probably heard about the “you’re not special”
speech, when English teacher David McCullough told graduating
seniors at Wellesley High School: “Do not get the idea you’re
anything special. Because you’re not.” Mothers and fathers
present at the ceremony — and a whole lot of other parents
across the Internet — took issue with McCullough’s ego-
puncturing words. But lost in the uproar was something we really
should be taking to heart: our young people actually have no
idea whether they’re particularly talented or accomplished or
not. In our eagerness to elevate their self-esteem, we forgot to
teach them how to realistically assess their own abilities, a
crucial requirement for getting better at anything from math to
music to sports. In fact, accurate self-evaluation is a skill
the rest of us could stand to acquire, too. It’s not just
privileged high-school students: we all tend to view ourselves
as above average. Such inflated self-judgments have been found
in study after study, and it’s often exact