From our panel of staff contributors Not just OK, but mandatory,
especially in your earshot and/or under your roof; silence can
be interpreted as tacit approval. Depending on the age, you
might interject with "Whoa, that's really not a nice word; you
can really hurt people's feelings that way." Ratchet up as the
severity or frequency if the usage continues. If the pal is
older, you can explain that there are people with developmental
disabilities and that holding them up to ridicule, even
indirectly, is cruel. You're not really just talking to your
daughter's friend; you're also letting your daughter know where
you draw the line. Emphasize how hurtful and cruel it is to kids
who, through no fault of their own, are different. A lot of kids
just go along with their peers using words like "retard" without
understanding what they really mean. It's a parent's job to
explain that these words — especially popular among boys are
crude expressions for homosexual — aren't just silly slang. And
if she continues, continu