No duh. Due to American health regulations, the water in the
bottom of the average McDonald’s toilet is filled with bacteria-
killing chemicals. When ingested, most of these chemicals will
eat through your stomach and cause your liquefied intestines to
spill out of your mouth like you were a throwaway character in a
Lucio Fulci film.Yet, hypocritically enough, fast food chains do
not put these chemicals in their ice-making machines! This leads
to an astonishing paradox: the toilet water in your local fast
food joint has less bacteria in it than a cup of soda font
Pepsi, yet the toilet water would make you sick if you drank it.
A good science experiment would be whether or not the bacteria
in a McDonald’s toilet was less harmful than the bacteria in the
ice, not just some weird yellow-green litmus test. Of course, we
can’t fault a seventh grader for trying. So here’s an idea for
Jasmine Roberts’ eighth grade science project. The hypothesis?
It is cleaner to lick a stranger’s ass than shake their hand or
kiss th