1. The four basic principles A. KNOW THAT YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK
B. KNOW WHAT KIND OF ATTACK YOU ARE FACING. C. KNOW HOW TO MAKE
YOUR DEFENSE FIT THE ATTACK D. KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW THROUGH. 2.
The goal To establish an environment in which verbal violence
almost never occurs; and in which -- on those rare occasions
when it cannot be avoided -- it is dealt with efficiently and
effectively, with no loss of face on either side. 3. Using
Miller's Law (from psychologist George Miller) "In order to
understand what another person is saying, you must assume that
it is true and try to imagine what it could be true of." (George
Miller; 1980.) Our tendency when we hear someone say something
that strikes us as unacceptable is to assume that it is false
and try to imagine what's wrong with the person who said it. (As
in: "That's ridiculous! He's only saying that because he's
stupid/biased/ignorant/trying to trick me/..." and so on.) This
guarantees communication breakdown; instead, use Miller's Law.
The proper response when so