Codependency is a term for a set of problem behaviors in
dysfunctional relationships. There is no common agreement about
how to define this term. It is used in many different ways to
describe many different experiences. An example: John's wife,
Mary, has an alcohol problem that has caused her to act
foolishly in social situations. She has alienated friends, lost
jobs, and wrecked cars. John responds to these incidents by
trying to repair the damage she has done. Then he criticizes her
and lays down harsh rules for her. She agrees to these rules at
first. However, eventually she violates them and returns to
drinking. This just leads to another round of this seemingly
endless pattern between them. She drinks, he fixes the problem.
He criticizes her and sets rules. She agrees, then starts
drinking again. On and on it goes. Why would they both continue
this painful and futile pattern of behavior? John feels anger at
Mary for her drinking, but at the same time, he feels better
about himself. He feels good about be