Losing a mate can be one of the most stressful events in a
person’s life, and the grieving period that follows can be
taxing for even the strongest among us. Luis Orta, a clinical
psychologist based in Miami, has worked extensively with people
who have suffered loss, be it of a loved one, a job, or a home
due to a natural disaster. Here are some of his observations. Q:
What happens when a head of household dies? A: When a main
figure dies, there’s a period of what I call “disbanding.”
People are in limbo, but then comes the reorganization. How [the
reorganization] happens depends a lot on the importance and
influence of the person in the family. If the person was the
official head of household in name alone but somebody else ran
the show—in other words, he was just a figurehead—then everyday
things may remain pretty much the same. But if that person
played an important role, there’s an initial period of confusion
and readjustment. How long it takes varies and depends also on
the nature of the family dynamics.