From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia edit Food-
Energy Equivalence In 1812, the ancient mechano-alchemist (and
part-time raving environmentalist) James "G" Watt hypothesized
that food and energy were not necessarily conserved separately,
but could actually be converted into each other, according to
the LaTeX formula: In creationist belief, the calorie was
invented by god to punish those who choose to eat awesome food
(e.g. McDonald's, candy, corn dogs, soda, chocolates, Reese's,
etc.) to make people suffer much like anorexics and vegans.
However, all attempts to accelerate roast beef sandwiches to the
speed of light squared made each sandwich travel sideways in
time, causing it to transform into Meryl Streep instead of
energy. This ridiculous state of affairs was finally explained
to everybody's satisfaction in 1976 by Stephen Hawking in his
Nobel Prize-winning Unified Phlogiston-Aether-Élan-Vital Field
Theory. edit The Great calorie Disaster of 1903 In 1903, due to
a bizarre mixup between English