From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia “Leibniz's
GONADS mirror reality.” “You can solve my equations any day!” “I
need his essence in my being!!!” “It's over 9,000!” Gottfried
Wilhelm von Leibniz (pr. monad) (July 1, 1646 – November 14,
1716) was a German mathematician and philosopher who possessed
all possible human knowledge already at the time of his birth.
In pre-school he wrote down the principles of calculus. At the
age of six he wrote his doctorate dissertation at the University
of Leipzig, which was titled: 'I'm sweating and I can't open the
window!'. This dissertation explained all of reality in one
page, and nobody understood it. He is noted for being the best
friend of Baruch Spinoza, and being an activist and proponent of
Spinozism. He was born with extremely long and poofy hair, which
he wore to bed every night and named 'Poof'. The mathematician
Isaac Newton fell in love with Leibniz when he discovered this
divine hair, nicknaming him 'Gotthair'. Newton would constantly
stalk Leibniz