Shots - Health Blog Tue January 3, 2012 Why A Teen Who Talks
Back May Have A Bright Future If you're the parent of a
teenager, you likely find yourself routinely embroiled in
disputes with your child. Those disputes are the symbol of teen
developmental separation from parents. It's a vital part of
growing up, but it can be extraordinarily wearing on parents.
Now researchers suggest that those spats can be tamed and, in
the process, provide a lifelong benefit to children. Allen says
almost all parents and teenagers argue. But it's the quality of
the arguments that makes all the difference. "We tell parents to
think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical
training ground," he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually
mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later
on in life with partners, friends and colleagues on the job.
Teens should be rewarded when arguing calmly and persuasively
and not when they indulge in yelling, whining, threats or
insults, he says. In Allen's study, 157