After my last blog on empathy I reflected on some of my other
relationships and realized I have a friend I know so well that
in most cases I can correctly tell what she’s thinking and how
she’s feeling. So if missing empathy is one’s inability to
determine another individual's feelings – does that mean that
I’m super empathetic? Or is there more to it? Experts on the
topic, such as Paul Ekman (the author of “Telling Lies” and the
inspiration behind the TV series “Lie to Me”) and Daniel Goleman
(author of “Working with Emotional Intelligence” et al.)
distinguish between 3 different kinds of empathy: Cognitive
Empathy means we understand how the other person thinks; we see
their point of view. This makes for good debaters, sales people
and negotiators. But such people can lack compassion - they get
to see how you see it, but don't care. Psychologists speak of
the "Dark Triad": narcissists, Machiavellians, and sociopaths.
Emotional Empathy refers to someone who feels the emotions of
the person they’re with. This