Take a moment to think about scenarios where the child is
punished for feeling an emotion. She might be shamed, attacked,
physically hurt (spankings, slappings, pinchings, etc) or
verbally hurt (teased, mocked, degraded, etc). "Stop crying.
You're okay. That clown isn't scary." "Shut up. I don't care if
you're angry. My house, my rules." "Give Aunt Mary a kiss. She's
family." "Don't you dare growl at that man! He was just being
nice." Oh, knock off the tears. It was just a little tumble.
Stop being a baby." "What do you mean, you aren't hungry? Do you
know how hard your dad works to put food on the table?" "Get
back into your bed right this second. There is nothing to be
scared about." In all of these examples, the child feels an
emotion and is acting on that emotion. The parents might not
want the child to express an emotion a certain way, but through
accident or on purpose, the parent ends up punishing the child
for feeling the emotion. The child learns that some emotions are
welcome and some are prohibited