A form of bear, these creatures were turned beige after Stephen
Colbert's great, great, great, great, grandfather spilled bleach
on them.. After this incident, they migrated to the polar ice
caps, embarrassed by their new appearance, and thus earned their
title of 'Polar'. They attempt to restore brownish color to
their coats by excreting wastes on themselves. Unlike other
branches of bears, polar bears are not godless killing
machines-- rather, they are agnostic killing machines; they
might be godless, they just aren't quite sure. Abilities of the
Polar Bear Edit The key special ability that polar bears have is
their tolerance for cold. They are able to tolerate temperatures
as cold as -1000 degrees while still butt-naked. It is also
rumored that they have the ability to read minds and may possess
some telepathic abilities that they acquired from an ancient
polar bear known as Minty. They use their telepathic abilities
to move inanimate objects around and hurl them directly at you
when in a fight! Polar bear