Have you noticed persons who do scary things are scared
themselves? In the movie series, “Star Wars,” Master Yoda
observes this very human emotional response when he says, “Fear
is the path to the dark side.” Fear can take us in one of two
directions. Whereas low levels of fear can energize us to
achieve our goals in healthy ways, not so when it comes to
intense and prolonged levels of fear, which can negatively
impact our health and choices. It can be especially scary to us,
as parents, when faced with having to deal with our children’s
fears. When they behave in ways that challenge us, for example,
lying, being defiant, hitting, etc., it can threaten our sense
of efficacy. This can scare us. It can also take us back to a
time when we were children, which may exacerbate our fears,
neediness or reactivity. And that is the opposite of what we or
our children need. The blind cannot lead the blind, nor can the
needy nurture the needy. Treating your self and your child with
dignity, especially when one or both of