From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia The tapir
(pronunciation unknown, possibly as "tay-per" or maybe "ta-peer"
but not really important), (Tapirus robitusseus) from the Latin
tea, meaning "ferocious rape monster of the dark forest", and
pir, meaning "sunshine", or "vulva", also known as the
pigopatamus, is a very big and completely useless jungle-
dwelling forest creature that is neither a pickle nor a melon
but rather something entirely different. The tapir is generally
concerned to be the worlds largest land rodent and despite its
unusual features is also both a pig and and an antelope as well.
With females weighing upwards of 15 tons and males sometimes
even more, the animal is rivaled only by the rhinoceros as the
worlds largest living organism. The hideous tapir is certainly
something behold, if you dare to search for it. The tapir is
very secretive but due to its pungent aroma, reminiscent of
onions and poop, is easily located with a bit of effort. It is
also helpful that the tapir is also e