In the southern Congo, scientists have unearthed the fossil
remains of what is now called "the earliest link between the
African hominid and early primates". "Coonus Dumassicus" was
discovered by Dr. U.B. Cornhold of USC Berkeley's Anthropology
Dept. in California. Dr. Cornhold had been searching in the
cliff face of a dried stream bed in the middle of the dense
Ubetcha jungle when he saw a skull protruding from the sediment.
"I knew I had found something significant", said the doctor,
"when I examined the skull closely and found that it possessed
almost no cranial capacity whatsoever, much like today's modern
Negro, but instead an extremely thick skull. It had a large
boney parietal ridge above the place where the forehead would be
on a Caucasian, and the teeth had been drilled and filled with
turquoise and diamonds. The back of the skull was pointed and
the entire face was more of a muzzle than anything human
looking. A second, larger brain for this creature seems to have
been located in its groin. The real