The “winter program” at Ridgeway Elementary School In
Dodgeville, Wisconsin, changed the lyrics of the Christmas carol
“Silent Night” to the more inclusive “Cold in the Night.” (“Cold
in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite.” )
After this success, the program’s next step will obviously be:
a) Changing “O Holy Night” to “Uh-oh! Wholly night!” a song
about a lunar eclipse b) Singing “O Little Town of Bethlehem,
Pennsylvania.” c) A song celebrating the comeback of the
American auto industry, “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the
coming of the Ford.” d) A ditty about hoping for snow at the
Panama Canal, “I’m dreaming of a white isthmus.” The modern name
for Christmas trees is now: a) Giving trees b) Trees of color c)
Seasonal conifers d) Inclusion bushes e) Tall lit-up flora f)
Those pointy green things with needles and lights Some schools
have ruled that red and green cookies cannot be brought into
class in December because the color combination strongly
suggests the divisive sectarian feast d