Silence and Denial in Everyday Life Silence and Denial in
Everyday Life is the subtitle of a powerfully insightful book,
The Elephant in the Room by sociologist Eviatar Zerubavel. I
came across this gem a few years ago and it has since become one
of my favorite books. Surely you’ve heard the phrase “elephant
in the room,” which refers to something obvious that is being
ignored. It can be a problem or controversial issue that is
overlooked for a variety of reasons, including embarrassment,
shame, fear, or because the subject is taboo. As Zerubavel
explains, silence is a practical way of avoiding painful or
controversial issues, and so we might “look the other way”
instead of confronting a problem or discussing a delicate
matter. But why else do people remain silent in the face of
controversial issues? According to Zerubavel, one answer is
norms about remaining silent or ignoring information. For
example, think about sayings in our culture about keeping quiet
like “Bite your tongue,” “Button your lip,” and “Sil