text: I got this idea from a now deleted shower thought subreddit post. I’ve included the text for reference: >Santa Claus is actually real and we could all just be on the naughty list and he’s so done with humanity that he doesn’t even give out coal. Anyway, I hope you like it and feedback is always welcome! You don’t make this job easy, you know. Well, that’s not entirely true. You do make this job easier but for all the wrong reasons. You see, I’m a pretty meticulous guy. I keep lists and keep them accurate. I even check them twice. I like hard work, and I like doing it well. Lately, though, my heart just hasn’t been in it. Listen, I’m no arbiter of justice, just observant. I do my best to commend the deserving, and reward those who are good and decent. Likewise, I try to encourage the wayward by letting them know “I see you.” Used to, all it took was a little lump of coal. Even if you weren’t the best, no one deserves to go to sleep cold. Such a small thing, but it was enough. What used to be a manageable list of these mischievous folks has turned into an ever-growing scroll that takes up an entire room. I’d tell you what the room is called, but the last time I did that the list practically caught on fire with how quickly it was scribbling names and growing. Frosty’s corn cob pipe, not again! People, *please*. Anyway, the other list is a mere shadow of what it was and I’m continually hopeful it will make a comeback, but that may not be in the cards. Too many people try to get on this list for the recognition. They want people to throw them a party, name a building after them, or be otherwise congratulated. Honestly, just be good for goodness’ sake! The quiet, anonymous good with no expectation of anything in return is what this list is all about. I think a lot of people have forgotten that, but it’s never too late to start! The icing on the cake of all of this is I can’t even spend my time off how I want to! All my favorite beaches are closed, hotels won’t take presents as payment, and parking is nearly impossible to find. Have you ever tried to parallel park a reindeer-drawn cutter? It’s no cake walk. Rudolf isn’t any help either, we keep getting asked not to come back to places because he can’t stop flashing people. Hrmph, reindeer. Anyway, the sleigh will be light this year. I guess I can refinish the paint and lacquer, maybe replace the runners, and renovate the reindeer stables. I would say I could knock out the missus’ honey-do list, but I finished that back in July. Heck, most of the elves have an Etsy shop making one thing or another. They’re very punny. Most of their shop names are quite clever and a lot of them make me laugh, but I digress. Please, for your own sake, and my sanity, be better to each other. Be kind, be gracious, be good. And watch out for each other, because if the quarantines hold, I won’t be coming to town this year. Yours in Christmas joy, Nick P.S. Despite what you may hear in songs, it’s okay to cry. It’s been a rough year. Still though, no pouting.