text: "Why can't I stop crying?" "It's a release, let the river flow. It's natural." Pulses of grief rippled through his torso. Energy eternal and emotional escaped him in stolen gasps and hiccups. "That's it. Let it all out." She said, rubbing circles on his back. "I feel so stupid." "Don't. You're not." He glanced across at her, flicking a stray tear onto the porch. Thirsty granite swallowed it up. "I remember he, he used to pick me up for work literally down that road there, right by a big monkey puzzle tree. I'd hear him before I saw him, his car was atrocious. I have no idea how that thing was roadworthy, it was really, like, low to the ground and scuffed. He had to put cork behind the wing mirrors to stop the glass falling out." Ragged laughter burst out of the man, and the woman withdrew her hand. "He must have been proud of you." She said. "He never showed it." "That's men for you." "Not all men." He was less coiled up now and she allowed herself to be embraced. "No. Some of you aren't so bad." "Maybe if my brother wasn't so screwed up, he wouldn't have done what he did. How do you go through with something like that? Jumping in front of a train? It's pathetic really. Just weak. God, if he was still here I'd kill him myself!" "Hey." "Sorry." He flexed a clammy fist and more time passed. The trees swayed, cars drove by, and a light fog descended. "I'd never leave you like that, you know? Never." "I appreciate that, Tom." "Can we go inside?" He said. "Of course." They lifted their stiff bodies up and retreated indoors. She boiled the kettle and made them a cup of tea each, despite it being well past midnight. They sat in bleary-eyed silence on stools, sipping. "Quite a strange third date." Tom said. "You couldn't help it." "Natalie, can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Do you like me?" "Yeah, I do like you. Do you like me, Thomas?" Tom laughed softly, crinkles appearing beside his eyes. He blushed. "It's just that we hit it off so well and I couldn't tell if you, you know, liked me in *that* kind of way." Natalie tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear. "We're still getting to know each other, but I think you're sweet. I wouldn't mind seeing more of you- seeing you more often, I mean. I assume there'll be a funeral in New Zealand?" "Yeah." "We'll have to meet after that. Start again." "Absolutely." He finished his tea and rose to his feet, collecting the two mugs before washing them, drying them, and putting them away. "Well, I better be going." Tom said, with a sniff that was either dismissive or due to the crying. The man's composure had returned. "I had a lovely time today, in spite of things." He ducked out of the doorframe and turned as she saw him out. She looked up into kind eyes that were hooded but somehow etched with feeling. Her shield of practicality fell for a moment and a charged moment drew out. Natalie looked away, taken aback by the odd sensation this bereaved, shaven-headed man had sparked in her. "I don't know what to say, but it feels like I should say something." He said. His brother had died today. They'd been having coffee when he got the call. Hysterical, she'd shepherded him to safety. "I know what you mean." Natalie said. Tom glanced up nervously, breaking the eeriness of the moment. "Bye, Natalie. I'll message you, if that's OK?." She nodded, and he left. Natalie swung the door shut and pulled the sleeves of her woolen jumper over her hands. She stood in the hallway, eyes unfocused, thinking, then switched off the lights and went to bed.