text: Today I am a tiger. Running through the jungle. I am hungry. I come upon a beach. On the infinite shore is a woman and in the water are three kids having a time. The woman tans just on the edge of the wood. It is Mishi. I go up to say hi. She notices me and begins to panic. "Calm down... I mean you no harm... it is only me." But instead a monstrous roar comes out. She trembles in fear. She falls to her knees and she sobs. "What's wrong?" I say. It comes out as an even more ferocious roar. Off in the distance I hear children screaming. She notices them too and begins to sob even harder. Through her sobs she begins: "Please... for the love of God... do what you will to me... but leave my children alone." I am confused. I had no plans to harm her children. I just wish to eat. I fulfill Mishi's wish and my own in one action. I pounce on her. I tear her body to shreds with my claws and sink into her neck with my teeth. She is no where to be found. I am now a red tiger... dripping in blood but not satiated... still hungry. The kids are gone... no where to be seen. But I can smell them... I can see the path they took into the woods. I can hear their crying. They just want their mom. I panic. I begin to run into the woods aimlessly. As fast as I can. I just run and run and run... and then I sense it. A tiger. The most familiar tiger in the world. The most beautiful tiger in the world. My queen. She speaks. "Hey what's up? Why are you covered in blood." "I just ate Mishi." "Oh yeah?" She asks, and with a seductive glance she continues: "How did she taste?" And then I felt it. The greatest feeling in the world... that feeling deep down inside... that feeling only a man knows. And in an instant she is upon me. Holding me down with a force I cannot understand. "What are you waiting for?" She says through my core. And at that moment it happens. From the white furry nether regions it comes out. War drums. bum BUM bum BUM bum BUM "there's my man." She lets out with a joyous squeak I cannot believe what I am seeing. A huge purple penis... throbbing in unison to the drums. For a moment all I can see is this huge purple... purple... throbbing to the drums... dancing to the drums. And then she brings me out of it. "Hey now! I want some!" I hear her come through from no where in this dream within a dream. And I look at her. She presents herself in a way only a tiger can. And I do the only thing a tiger can do when presented with such sights. I pounce on her. And we dance that eternal dance. The divine waltz. The scene is just too much to take in. And I can hear her... "I'm... I'm... I'm" I cannot help but close my eyes. I open my eyes and look down. Everything has vanished... and floating in the clouds amidst a fantastically infinite colorful space there it rests. A huge purple penis. Nothing else. The penis absolutely still... as if frozen in time... the clouds and colors buzz around it in sync to a mysteriously divine sound... the ambiance radiates as the purple statue remains in absolute stillness. "Huh... would ya look at that", he thinks, "now that's new." And at the realization the immense statue began to shake. Slowly at first. But then faster. Now vibrating at a finer speed... resonating. And in its resonance a hum begins and the image blurs. WUUUUUUUUM-wuuuuuum-WUUUUM-wuum-WUM it is coming to a point... and at the moment of silence the blurred image solidifies and at the peak of the purple pyramid is a brilliant white orb... rotating ever so spectacularly Radiant... perfectly colorful... perfectly circular... perfectly new... perfect. I fly towards it with all I am and reach out for this artifact; I have it in my hands. And then it happens. The infinite purple plane I now stand upon begins to buzz. wum-WUUM-wuuuum-WUUUUUUM-wuuuuuuuum and as the tone speeds cracks flow into the plane from his feet. And in an instant cracks of light fracture the plane. Brighter and brighter the light between the cracks become. The resonance of the plane, the hum, the tone... becomes unbearable. "We gotta get out of here!" He screams out to the purple planar void as he launches into the infinite space beyond. And he runs and runs... he flys and flys... forever and ever he goes... and then he forgets where he is. He stops and thinks about why he moves. He cannot remember. He turns his head and looks back. And he begins to fall... at incredible speeds. All now in rewind. No idea why he's falling... he looks down into his hand. He clutches a white orb. He probes it... inspects it. Solid. Sturdy. He cannot remember what it is but it looks oh so pretty. He looks up. He can see the milky way now. And in the next moment he notices our solar system. And in the next moment the Earth comes into view... it's all moving way too fast. He closes his eyes and braces for impact. Darkness. Nothing. Then he feels it. This buzzing sensation. He has no body. No sense at all except for this vibration. It feels absolutely divine. Good vibrations... too good. And then above the heavenly vibrations and darkness he hears it. He hears crying. And it takes him away from this serene place. I open my eyes. I'm in a dark bedroom. There is this foreign woman going to town on my cock as mascara chases her tears. "WHAT THE FUCK!" I scream as I pull her by her hair and hold her in front of me with one arm as if she is a bucket of awful. She screams in pain. "PLEASE!" "Who are you and where is the Queen?!" I ask, as the echoes of libido turn to wrath. "PLEASE!" she sobs as she dangles. "Just please anything you want just don't hurt my children." And then it hits me--I am dreaming--And then I drop her. She collapses to the floor babbling... inconsolable. She rocks back and forth saying "please don't hurt my children." I get to my knees, stark naked and with my free hand I caress her shoulder. She instantly recoils and sobs harder. I decide to speak instead. I speak from the heart: "I didn't mean to hurt you... I'm sorry... don't cry. I won't do anything bad to your children. It's okay Mishi." And at that there is a sudden change in her demeanor. She is calm. She breathes. Slowly she collects herself. She wipes away the tears from her cheeks. She realizes what's going on. There is a strange naked man in her bedroom holding a pearlescent Christmas ornament. Calmly she asks: "What do you want?" Calmly I reply: "I want to know what is going on... how did I get here? What happened?" I can see the moonlight shine off her face. She looks at me blankly. Beautiful. I continue: "I know this is weird but I really don't know what the hell is going on... I mean I know where I was and what I was doing but the first thing I can remember here is you crying and sucking me off." She blinks a few times... incredulous she blurts out: "You raped me!" "I raped you?!", I reply incredulously. "I was sleeping and the next thing I know you have your hand over my mouth and you threatened my children. You said if I struggle you'd kill my children right in front of my eyes." Tears well up in my eyes. I look into hers. I say the only thing I can say: "I am so sorry... so so sorry." And she began to cry as well: "Why would you do that... why would you do that?" "I don't know. I honestly thought I was a tiger and I was hungry... and you said I could eat you... so I ate you. To be honest it was amazing... you were delicious. To be perfectly honest I am dreaming right now." And at that she started to laugh. Wild uncontrollable laughter. She is mad. Completely lost. "There it is!" I joyfully cry out. "Listen, Mishi, I know this doesn't make sense. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to go check on your kids. You'll find them sleeping. Then I want you to grab your phone and come back. If you trust me you'll do all these things." And mishi got up, threw on a shirt, and left the room. She ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. She grabbed her phone and went to dial the police. And then she noticed it... as the phone rang Her house is immaculate. Oddly clean. She did not do this. In panic she ran to check on her kids. Peacefully they slept. And then she heard it. "911 what's your emergency?" And she drops her phone with the knife and runs to her bedroom and flips on the light. Her bedroom is immaculate... and there is one other difference too. Her bed is covered in brilliantly lush purple linens. On the center of which a white pearlescent sphere lays. Mishi is confused. All of a sudden. She hears a voice come from within. "You should of trusted me Mishi. I did not say call the police. I said check on your kids and grab your phone." She cries out: "I didn't call the police, I hung up on them! Come back!" "You called them. They are on the way. They will wake up your kids. This is on you. You should of trusted me Mishii." "Where are you?!" "Why I'm right here on your bed. What are you going to tell the cops when they get here? That a Christmas ornament raped you? Who is going to believe that?" And at that she began to cry. "Ah Mishi, don't cry. I'm just fucking with ya. The cops aren't coming this is all a dream." "But you raped me!" "Yeah but look on the bright side. I cleaned your house and got you new linens. And to be perfectly honest I don't ever remember asking you to go down on me... that was all you. Bye now." And at that. Silence. No more voices in her head. Just her. She picks up the ornament. It's just a normal Christmas ornament... even has a hanger attached to it. She inspects it seemingly forever. And no one ever came back. And she cried and cried and cried. Until finally she tightened her grip and crushed the ornament. The shards slicing up her hand before they spilled onto the purple linens. She watches as her blood trickles onto the broken fragments of our hero. "You should not have done that." The voice catches Mishi by surprise. She looks up. Before her is a woman. She hovers slightly off the ground in a booming black dress that ripples in resonance with an invisible aura. Her blonde hair ripples in a curious synchronization with the dress. And her eyes... her eyes glow red... so red... pure red. They exude an aura... a blood red aura.. an aura that ripples out of sync with her dress and hair... a faint red haze that seems to envelop her entire being. In an instant the haze turns solid red--a new red--and in the next instant it vanishes. And Mishi cannot believe her eyes. In her bedroom is a tiger... with transcendentally red glowing eyes. And as the Queen pounces towards the bed she lets out not a roar but a banshee wail.