text: “I am committed. I want to be with you. I know sometimes I come across as inconsiderate or selfish or uncaring or an asshole or whatever. I’m sorry. I really am. I want to work on it and want to make this work.” These lies slipped through his thinly parted lips as easily as the smoke vaguely exhaled in their wake. With his right hand, he put out the remains of his cigarette on the concrete bench. Passing the butt into his left palm his elbow gently brushed her side as he slipped the cigarette into his pocket. Glancing out of the corner of his left eye he mumbled a rye apology with a crooked, half-cocked grin. Were he alone on the bench he would have just flicked the still-burning cigarette away into the patchy grass. In the pregnant silence that followed, he wore a mask of contrition and introspection knowing he was further proving his earnestness. The silence swallowed the words he wished he knew how to say. “I don’t feel the same about this relationship as you do. I don’t feel the fire or burning attraction. I kind of just enjoy having someone in my life and don’t see this as serious or long term. I just want you around so I feel better about myself.” He was always incapable, always dragged along in relationships, always cared for far more than he cared to be. Pulling a pack of gum from his right pants pocket, he thumbed out a piece from its foil and plastic bubble and slid it between his still-parted lips. Replacing the packet, he turned to face her and held her gaze, letting his eyes fill with hope and replacing his contrition with a confident grin. “I feel optimistic.” He lied. He felt trapped. “I love that we can talk about these things openly and I know we can work through it. I realize I have a lot of room for growth and I want to grow. And you’re worth going through these growing pains. I’m grateful for you and know that things will get better if we can keep communicating and keep growing together.” He swallowed his gum which he would have typically just spat on the ground, hoping some sad sack would find it later on the bottom on his shoe and his living room carpet. The hard lump of gum went down easier than the most recent batch of falsehoods. But they both went down easier than bringing the truth up would have been. So he swallowed his gum and his feelings and let the moment stand for what it was. He took her right hand in his and brought it too his lips. He slipped his left arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, kissing her head and letting her left hand fall to his thy. She sighed, smiled heavily to herself, and sank into his embrace. “Thanks.” She said, hopeful and in love. “Thanks.