text: The titles bad I know. Didn’t really put a lot of thought into it. Not a good writer so I’m sure there are a million errors. I’ve just always enjoyed making stories. This is the first time I’ve ever shared anything before so hopefully it’s not bad. God damn it’s so fucking cold out. It’s only October and the grounds been frosted every morning for the last week. It’s a beautiful sight to wake up to. But I’m ok with not seeing. Makes me feel cold just looking at. I dread stepping out of my warm home to the cold barren country roads. The bland open field invite the icy winds to blow in my face as I struggle on my long strolls to school. I’ve got to stop showering in the morning. My hair crunches like I put a full bottle of hair gel in it. I could drive to school but I like to enjoy the fall colors. There’s always opportunities for pictures with the sunrise peaking through the deep red leaves. It warms you despite the cool air that fall brings. The 20 minute walk always feels like 20 seconds to me. I lose my self in thought to easily. It’s the only way to keep the chaos of other off taking me down. The negativity that fills the world is to much to handle. All these mad murders that are narrated on the news almost every day. I hear so many complaints with hopeless solutions tied to them. It doesn’t matter what you do to try and stop them. You can take away their guns but then they’ll use their knives. You can take their knives but then they’ll use their tools. You can take their tools but then they’ll use their hands. You can take their hands but then others will raise theirs. The best thing you can do is to accept, mourn, and move on. If a person has a drive to kill they’ll do it. Doesn’t matter if they have a weapon or not. Shit. It’s supposed to hurt right. Why doesn’t it hurt. Is it the adrenaline. Does that make it not hurt? Will it hurt soon? What do I do if it hurts? How do I make the pain stop? Should I be worried about the pain? Wait I can feel something now. It’s cold. Very cold. It’s like the metal was forged in an icy flame. I can feel the whole blade now. It’s being thrusted in deeper. I can feel the flesh separate as it moves. What does it look like? It’s like the leaves it’s such a deep red. It looks like a pool with no bottom. I hate it. What’s down there? Never mind I don’t want to know. Stop I don’t want to see it. It’s too deep. I don’t want to know what down their. The pool is just getting bigger. I need to stop it. How do I stop it? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? A hand. Someone’s hand. I need to stop them and their hand. How do I stop it though? Can I stop it? How can you stop someone from hurting you? Well it doesn’t hurt right now but it might. I don’t want it to hurt so I need to hurt them? That will stop them. It work when I was little. It stopped my brother from hitting me. Only for a little bit though. But I only need a little bit. I should hurt them but how. Their neck. It hurts if you can’t breathe. I remember going under water in a pool a long long time ago. Not a red pull but a blue one. I remember it hurt badly. But I wasn’t scared. I just remember crying. I couldn’t say it hurt but it did. I need to hurt him till he cry’s. That’ll make him stop. I just need to put my hand on his neck and squeeze. Is it working? I think it’s working the knife is coming out. I can feel it move. Look even his face is turning blue like the pool I was in. It is working. It is working. It is working. It is working. It is working. It is working. It is working. It is working. He’s going to cry soon right? Cause it hurts and makes you want to cry. I want him to cry. So I can stop. My hands are tiered. My abdomen is sore. Will he cry soon? Why isn’t he crying. He’s supposed to by now. It hurts to not breathe. He should cry. I’m getting dizzy. My head feels like a boulder. I can’t hold it up. I have too look down. Look at the pool on the ground. It’s so big now. I might fall in. No don’t fall in. You won’t be able to get out. It’s too deep. Don’t fall in. You won’t be able to swim. It hurts to much. It hurts now. Not my abdomen but my chest. I feel like I did something wrong. But I don’t know. Did I hurt him to much? Could he not cry? You don’t cry a lot when ur older. Maybe he couldn’t cry because of that. I’m scared now. Did I do something bad? Am I going to be in trouble? I don’t want to be in trouble. Maybe I should go into the pool? They can’t yell at me in the pool if I go deep. I might be able to swim away from it if I go in. That might be a good idea. I need to hold my breath before I go in. It hurts to not breath. A deep breath. The pool is getting bigger so fast as I dive in. I wondered if I can touch the bottom.