text: I'm looking for some feedback on my story or constructive criticism. Anything about taking out or adding things or whatever thoughts come your way would be helpful! &#x200B; I Have A Friend &#x200B; So, I have this friend. For some reason I feel sad before I even start to talk about her. She went to a Christian school growing up and made sure everyone knew it was her grandparents that sent her here, not her parents. She mentioned that she grew up with the Christian religion bashed into her by her grandparents and I’m pretty sure at this point she looked sick of it. Her Mom wasn’t as religious, so at least she got away from it occasionally. This girl just didn’t fit in with anyone at her little Christian Academy. This friend and I always thought Christians could sense someone who didn’t belong. You could tell she didn’t know who she was by the way she flip-flopped between the shy, quiet kids and the loud popular kids. I don’t think she ever stuck with one group. It was a small school with even smaller classes, so it was hard not to notice everything about everyone. The teachers didn’t seem to care about her one way or another and the other kids were always a little bit more interested in someone else. She always seemed to be the second or third choice. My friend did at one point find another friend named Audrey who she absolutely clicked with and we all became best friends, girl power and all that blah blah blah. Audrey brought out our crazy sides, gave us a reason to get up every day and was just someone to share things with. Neither of us had ever had a friend like her. We were jealous of Audrey a little bit but not enough to hate her, just enough to admire her. Our new best friend Audrey played the guitar, had a great family that loved their kids and all their kids’ friends as well. We were accepted in her house. Audrey was a year older than us and went to high school first. We stayed best friends, but Audrey was finding new friends of her own. We got jealous but knew we were still her best friend. We were still in youth group together and making a lot of new friends. All was going well until we had to go to a different high school than Audrey. We drifted apart. All of us did after that. I saw my friend go from this radiant, funny girl who had a sense of belonging back to her old self. I feel like she looked like she did when I first started to recognize her in middle school. Just a shell with nowhere to turn and not a clue where to start. So, this friend of mine seemed to be worse than when she started, in an even bigger pool of people but not knowing any of them. All these new people my friend met were very different and clearly light years ahead of her. It was sadly clear that what my friend did to fit in was a drastic move on her part. We fell even further apart. It tore me apart to watch her start doing whatever everyone else did and say just to lose all hope of having her own personality. I saw this personality form in her when we were with Audrey but now its like the personality she developed drained away completely. She became a master of adapting to all the new situations that got thrown her way. I barely knew her now. It was sad to see her everyday and not be able to do anything about it. Sometimes I would shout at her to get her attention but usually she’d brush me off and shove me away. I saw her throw her whole self into anyone who showed her some sort of attention or what she thought was love. This made it even harder when those people would continuously let her down, but she would move on and do it again. It was like she was a detective interrogating all these different people for the answers, but they just weren’t giving her any. She was searching and searching with no results. I don’t think she knew she was looking for something, but I could clearly see it and looking back its clear that she was desperate. Neither of us really knew what she wanted or needed but I just wanted her to let me help. I could only be so persistent when she just continued to push me away. I could go on and on about how this friend of mine continued to search for answers throughout high school, but it would be a never-ending story and to tell the truth it very well could still be happening today. I saw something happen to her though. I was watching when it happened. She was with a boy she had met not long ago, and it was obvious she was infatuated with him; would do anything he said no matter what. He told her about something he had been doing behind her back and she looked pissed. But I know her better than anyone and I could tell she wasn’t mad about what he had been doing but that he had been doing it without her. Yet again she threw herself into everything whole-heartedly and if this was a part of this boy she thought she loved then she wanted in. I can’t believe it happened. Well, I can’t believe that either of these things really went down. Before it all happened and before he gave her that shot in the arm that would take her away from me for a very long time she looked in the mirror. For the first time in years I looked back at her through that same mirror, she really saw me, and I really saw her. That connection happened, and we knew what we were doing. We knew what path we were taking. She seemed to be saying good bye for now but not forever. There was an awareness that she was making the decision to leave me behind. I don’t think she knew before she was leaving me, but now she was actively doing it. I got to see myself clearly that day and through the rough years I occasionally got to look through the mirror when she let me, and we even had a few screaming matches. In the present I now know I made that choice for a reason and I knew it would be a very long time until I’d see myself again. But It did happen. Although my relationship with my friend is different now than when we were young, at least I get to see her every day.