text: It was a lovely spring afternoon in the park. The air was filled with the joyful warbling of songbirds and the innocent laughter of children, the scent of fresh flowers floating gently on the cool breeze. A young couple walked along a path through the garden. The young man, Sebastian, wore a blue and white button-up plaid-patterned shirt tucked into his khaki dress pants, his shoulders festooned with a cape fashioned from a pastel yellow sweater. *Gross*. The young lady, Bianca, wore a seafoam green sun dress, with a daisy in her curly blonde hair. She was objectively pretty, but definitely not your type. And if she *was*, then you might be one of *those* people... Their demeanor was like that of the models in a Newport cigarette ad; where everyone comes off as super white, *especially* if they're *not*. They were sickeningly wholesome, as though scrapped from the cast of '7th Heaven' for being too unbelievably waspy. They gave each other Eskimo kisses in public, which was just... *Yuck.* After getting some gelato from a cart, because that's what people like this *do* on first dates, Sebastian admired Bianca's beauty. She was just so *gosh darn pretty*. ^^Bwlegh..! "I really like you a lot, Bianca," he told her, a bashful smile on his oddly manicured face. She blushed. "I really like you too, Sebastian." *Ugh*... Sebastian smiled for a moment, but then looked a bit sullen. Something was on his mind. "What's wrong?" Bianca asked. "I... I have a confession to make," Sebastian sighed. "I'm not really this tall..." Bianca wrinkled her nose. "Whatever do you mean?" Sebastian took a deep breath. "Well, you see... On your eHarmony profile it said you like tall guys. I thought that maybe if you thought I was taller, you might be more willing to give me a shot, so I wore elevator shoes to our date. But... Well, I really like you a lot and I just can't keep up the charade in good conscience..." Bianca giggled. "Is that all? Sebastian, *yes* I like tall guys, but I *really* like *you*. A *whole lot*. I won't think less of you because you're just a little bit shorter than you said you were." Sebastian gazed lovingly into her big blue eyes. "Do you really mean that?" "Of course, silly!" she cooed softly. "Now take off those shoes and let me see the real you." Sebastian removed his platform shoes and stood before her, average height and all, but when he looked at her, the girl he'd been falling head over heels for had disappeared. In her place stood a much more homely specimen, her face now much less evocative of an angel, and more reminiscent of . He couldn't help but notice a single, robust hair coming from a large mole on her neck as her thick Tor Johnson-esque eyebrows fluttered in the wind. It was in this moment that he realized that all of her profile pictures had been angled from above. Bianca frowned as she regarded him in his natural state, all five-foot eleven of him. "On second thought, I think I like you better with the shoes on." Sebastian blinked, unsure how to process the sight he beheld before him. After a brief moment, he snapped out of his stupor. "Oh. Of- of course," he stuttered as he slipped his shoes back on. When he stood back up, he looked at Bianca again, and she was just as radiant as he had remembered her from before: a graceful, delicate flower. She beamed back up at him. "Much better," she murmured. "Much, *much better.