text: I got a call at three o’clock in the morning on a Sunday and was pretty chapped about it. I had to work in the morning and could barely sleep as it is. “Hello?” “Hello, is this Mr. Kent?” The lady’s voice annoyed me. “Agh, yep.” I sounded short. “Brayden Kent?” “Yes” I started to worry but not the worry you get when you miss seven or eight calls from your mom. My mom was dead, as so was my dad. They were both pretty hard on themselves and croaked pretty early. “I’m sorry” the lady said, “your brother James and his wife, Amelia, were pronounced dead at 2:04am this morning.” “What?” “Your brother and his wife died in a car accident early this morning. I’m very sorry.” I was certain it was in a nightmare but hadn’t really had one in a while and also nightmares don’t feel particularly real after you hear news like that lady gave me. “Well, where?” Thinking back, it was a weird question to ask. I suppose she’d heard worse. “They had been changing lanes on the 401, near London, and collided with a semi. They were killed instantly.” I was close with my brother, but as you get older, people drift. I hadn’t spoke with him in over two months. “What about Lena?” I yelled. “Lena?” The lady annoyed me again. Len... fucking Lena! Their daughter!” “Sorry, their daughter is with protective services. I did not know her name.” “Where are they now?” “Lena?” She nervously responded. “No! My brother and Amelia?” “St. James Hospital sir.” I hung up, threw on my coat and boots, and sped to the hospital. I was sitting in the medical office crying when the doctor came in. “Hello, Mr. Kent. Again, I’m very sorry for your loss. I understand you’re the godfather of Lena?” “I am.” “She is one lucky girl then.” I remember hating that he had said that. The first year was tough. The amount of paperwork it takes to become the guardian of a kid who shares your blood is messed up. I mean... I was in a good space, responsible enough, and had a good paying job. I cried a lot. Lena cried a lot but not for her parents, I don’t think. She was a year and a half old when they got in the accident. She just cried over baby things like crankiness and teeth pain. I cried because she would never know her real parents. I cried because my brother died. I didn’t much cry for Amelia but cried for Lena. She started calling me dad at around three years old. I called her daughter to people I met; it easier that way. I started to realize that I didn’t have many friends before this, like the friends that would know I was Lena’s uncle. I guess I liked calling her daughter. We had gotten on pretty good by then. My brother always told me how he could never get sleep in Lena’s first year. I slept fine now. Lena would sleep with me often and I guess kids do that around three so it was nice. She started to do things that would remind me of James. Seeing pieces of him, in her, always put me in a good mood. She came to me once and asked why she didn’t have a mom when all the other kids did. “Where’s my mom?” Lena asked. She was starting to ask those questions kids start to ask. “She died, Lena.” I always told myself that if she ever asked that question, I wouldn’t lie to her. I was prepared and knew it was going to come anyway and knew that I would have to explain death. I didn’t expect the questions after though; pretty naive I guess. “What does that mean?” Lena said. “Well, it means she’s no longer around.” “Why?” “Well, we’re all eventually no longer around, but sometimes people are no longer around a little earlier, like your mom.” Lena looked confused but she was smart and didn’t cry or get sad but started thinking, going back to her colouring book but pondering something. “Dad?” “Yep.” I looked back at her after my mind had went to the tv. “Do people ever come back from being no longer around?” It was a question we all ask at one time or another. “Not this no longer around.” She looked back at her book and kept colouring. Lena’s hair was long now. Like to her shoulders so not that long. I took her to the park across from our house, which was her dad’s house, as he and Amelia left it to us. We didn’t live far away so it was no problem moving from my apartment to his house. I just had to maintain stuff now but always liked yard work. I used to always do it with my dad. I was still working my job, too. I always hear people talk about the fact that they have no alone time with kids but if I’m being completely honest, I always had alone time. She was old enough now that she would sleep in a bit and I would stay up later than her. I never had a problem adjusting to things in life. Her ninth birthday was coming up and I had planned a get-together with some of her school friends and their parents. I bought her a bike; a pretty good bike. She was pretty excited about it. She would ride it around the block, to her friends, and sometimes around the yard until it lost its appeal. “Dad, can I go over to Kat’s?” “Did you talk to her mom?” “Uh huh!” I phoned Kat’s mom and they were all playing in the backyard so it was all good. Lena rode her bike there. Kat lived two blocks away. I just hung out at home and watched some TV and ordered a pizza. Lena loved when I ordered pizza; she loved the corner pieces for some reason, those triangle ones. No one likes the corner pieces. I always saved them for her. She likes putting Parmesan cheese on her pizza and I liked putting hot sauce on mine. Lena thinks I’m crazy. She once accidentally had one of mine and started screaming and crying. I had a good laugh and she was so mad at me and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night. Funny how mad she got pizza but I just thought it was cute. Lena doesn’t get mad too often. She’s rational and I like to think that she got that from me. She’s more interested in space and planets than she is in fairytales and ghosts. She was always asking me to put on Cosmos before she went to bed. I never complained. She read more than she played in the park. She liked to dance more than she liked to walk, and she asked way too many questions. Lena always made for a good conversation. She hopped on the hood of my car while I was leaving for work one day. She was laughing so hard, trying to stop me from going to work; I was so mad at her that I could have pulled away with her still there. She was thirteen now and it was a weekend so she could stay on her own. She was so easy to trust at home when I had to work the weekends. Lena was smart in school, smart in life, and smart with people. The years flew by like nothing and I was as much of a dad as the next guy with kids. I met Cam that year and we fell in love. She loved Lena as much as I did. Lena wasn’t happy with her to begin with but she eventually came around. Cam was an artist and Lena liked to paint so before I knew it, they were hanging out with each other more than with me. I guess that’s what you hope for in the beginning. I always thought it was weird how Cam didn’t want kids but then became Lena’s best friend in the blink of an eye. That’s how she goes. Cam was a health nut and I wasn’t so we started to eat real healthy. She tried to get me working out but I wasn’t having it. She laughed at me. We met older so changing someone for one’s own conveniences was not a thought. We accepted each other for who were were. I’d still order pizza for Lena and I. Cam also couldn’t resist it. “I’ll work it off tomorrow.” She would say with a laugh. I wasn’t the laughing type so we got on really good. I remember when Cam and I bought Lena her first car for her sixteenth birthday. She was so excited and wanted to drive it so we let her. It was dark outside but we kept to the local roads. She had a smile bigger than I’d ever seen before and was playing some music too loud on the stereo. We drove up a hill along one of the roads close to home and she parked to admire the city lights. I was so proud of her, not a lot of people admire city lights at sixteen. “I can’t believe you’re already sixteen.” I said. She just smiled, put the car in gear, and started driving, turning up the music too loud again. I pictured what life would be like if the same thing that happened to my brother happened to her. I quickly pushed that to the back of my mind. It was pretty surreal watching someone who could barely walk, when she landed with me, to now switching gears and turning corners in a car. We approached the driveway, Lena bottomed out the car, we laughed and she parked it. We both got out and shut the doors of the car. We slowly walked to the door and she hugged me a really big hug, like teenagers do when you get them something big. “Thanks, Uncle Brayden.” I could feel her head on my shoulder as I looked at our neighbour’s car in the driveway. She was so tall now.