text: The beautiful white dress was hung on the door. Makeup was being applied and hair was being done. The room smelled of lavender and hairspray. Bridesmaids giggled as they also prepped for the big day. The dress was ready to be put on. Everyone was gathered for more pictures. Bouquet in hand and- “Professor Davis, are we free to leave after the exam is complete?” A student waved her hand through the air. Erin was brought back to reality by the student in her last lecture of the day. She caught herself admiring her engagement ring that Costas had given to her in October. “Yes, bring the exam to my desk and you may leave.” Erin said this with a smile. She felt guilty because many of the students stood up and walked towards her, exams in hand. Erin is a psychology professor at University of Michigan. She graduated from the university too and it's where she met her fiance, Costas. Costas is a kinesiology professor at Michigan State University. He had finished his education at UofM and eventually moved on to teach at his rival school. The two had been together for 5 years, Costas finally proposed on Halloween of last year and they were to be married next month. Professor Davis’s class was nearing the end as 1-2 students were still taking the exam for the end of the semester. One student finished his exam and left and 5 minutes after the next one followed. As Erin left the classroom, she twisted her ring with her index finger with a slight grin on her face. She walked to her office that was down the hall, grabbed the rest of the exams from her drawer and headed to the elevator. Her next stop would be the Chinese food place across the street from her house and then home. “Honey, I’m home.” No answer followed. Erin went to the living room, which stood empty all except the furniture. She made her way to the kitchen and set down her bags, the kitchen stood empty also. “Costas, I got dinner. Your favorite, Chinese Food.” Erin frowned, there was no answer. Erin took a plate, spoon, and wine glass from the cupboard. She grabbed a bottle of wine from the wine rack and then scooped the food onto her plate. The door knob rattled and opened with a creak. Erin’s attention snapped to the door and excitement filled her. “Erin, are you home yet?” Costas peeked his head in the doorway. “Yes, babe. I’m in the kitchen. I went to the Chinese place and got your favorite.” Costas entered the house and walked into the kitchen. He kissed Erin and went to grab a plate and a beer from the fridge. “How was your day, babe?” Erin said this shyly. “It was great, terrific.” Costas said this with sarcasm and a sly grin. Erin put her head down and finished eating her meal in silence. The relationship had been rocky since they got engaged. Costas had been distant and mostly absent from the home. Erin was ready to be a bride and had attended her many wedding events with her mother and with Costas’s mother. They had together picked the flowers, church and banquet hall, and the cake. Costas had been busy with conferences and interviews with major basketball and baseball teams for the position of athletic trainer. Erin had finished her meal and went to the sink to put her dishes down. She walked over to her bag, took the stack of exams and papers, and sat down. She proceeded to pour another glass of wine. “Would you like another beer, dear?” Erin asked “No, God Erin can’t you just leave me alone. I work hard all day to teach these stupid students and then I have to come home and be interrogated by you. Just leave me alone. I would like a little peace and quiet now and then you know.” Erin proceeded to sit down across from her husband almost on the verge of tears, she grabbed the exams and started to grade the exams. She loved her fiance dearly and wanted to do whatever had to be done to keep him happy and nonviolent. She loved the old him, the Costas who bought her flowers and chocolates, and took her to Greece for her birthday when she turned 30. Costas had saved her from her past. The past involved being beaten by the person who was supposed to be her unspoken savior, her father. Her father had beaten her until she was 10 years old and her mother had known. She spent most of her childhood hiding her bruises and her adolescence was filled with flashbacks, depression, and anxiety. She had grown up in a toxic home environment and now she was being put in the same situation with the person she loved the most in the world. Costas had hit her a handful of times, but she had told no one of this. “Erin, have you packed my bag for my next interview.” Costas said this with irritation in his voice. “No honey, I’m sorry. I’ll get on it as soon as I can.” Erin put her head down and proceeded to grading the exams. “Did you not hear me? I said to go pack my bag for the next interview.” Costas said this with rage in his voice. “Okay dear, I’ll get to it after I look over some of these exams.” “I said go pack my bag. NOW BITCH!!” Costas said this with fury in his voice and smacked Erin in the face. Whimpering she said, “Okay I’m sorry, I’ll go upstairs and get to it.” Erin had tears in her eyes and started going to the stairs that climbed up into the second floor. She proceeded to the bedroom, went to the vanity and looked at her reflection. She saw tears streaming down her face and an almost purple bruise forming on her cheek. She put her head down and began to cry. She didn’t want this life, the life of a battered wife. She wanted happiness and family but not with a man that was going to be violent with her and maybe their children to come. She thought to herself, How do I get out of this? How can I end this without getting hurt again? She heard steps coming up the stairs and quickly ran to the closet to look for ties, dress shirts, and dress pants. She scurried around for the items as she heard steps in the bedroom now. Costas poked his head around the corner with remorse on his face. She could see it now from where she stood. Erin began to walk to the hall closet to get the small suitcase. She was stopped by a hand on her shoulder, she flinched but turned around to face Costas. He guided her to bed and they both sat down. “Erin, I’m so sorry I hit you and yelled at you. I didn’t mean it. I just have all this anger and work is stressful. I need a change of scenery, I’m hoping these athletic trainer jobs will come through and we can go somewhere new and start over again just like the old times.” Costas said this with his head down. “I don’t think you're sorry because you keep doing it. You keep hitting me and you know what happened between my parents and what happened to me. I’m not your punching bag, you need help. We don’t need to get a change of scenery, you need to straighten this problem out. I love you so much but you decide to hurt me when something doesn’t go your way and I am not okay with that.” Erin was choking back tears. Costas kissed Erin at first on the lips and then on the forehead. She smiled at this with tears still streaming down her face. Costas looked at Erin and her pain and his face turned down. He wiped her tears with his sleeve. “I’m going to go to an interview in Los Angeles this weekend. Going to be interviewing for the Dodgers and the Lakers. When I come home we will talk again and I will look into anger management.” Costas said this with his head down. Erin finished packing Costas’ bag and went back to her place at the kitchen table. She grabbed her wine glass and refilled it until it was almost to the top, and then went to the stack of exam’s in front of her. She heard steps coming down the stairs and she straightened herself and took a swig from her wine glass. Costas had made his way down the stairs and back into the kitchen. “Honey, I’m going to be leaving for the airport in a bit. Would you like to see me off?” “I have all these papers to grade. Exams and I have to do all of them for eight different classes.” Erin motioned toward the pile of papers. Costas put his head down and grabbed another beer from the fridge. He stood silent and made his way back up to the bedroom. He was ashamed for what he did to his wife and felt regret deeply. He finished packing everything else that he would need. He picked up his phone, car keys, and his luggage and descended upon the stairs. “Erin, I’m leaving for the airport.” Costas called from his position by the stairs. “I’ll see you when you get back.” Erin stood from her seat and crossed the living room. They embraced and gave each other a slight kiss. Costas left and Erin was once again in the still, silent house by herself. She finished the bottle of wine and got through one class of exams before retiring to the couch for her alone time. During this alone time that she had she would watch television, go on social media, or invite friends and family over to drink. Today she brought her laptop with her and decided she would write her wedding vows. She had written a rough copy when Costas had proposed but she wanted to change them now. She began typing: “Costas, When I met you, you were a blessing in disguise. As many know, my childhood was not the most pleasant. Costas you saved me, you grabbed my hand, put it in yours and you guided me from the dark to the light. You showed me what love is and that I deserve as much as I can get. Flowers and Chocolates were a plus. Just being you was a gift.” Erin began to cry again. She had begun to picture herself standing at the altar, ready to give herself to Costas. She could picture his smile and the tears that would fall from his eyes as she said these words but also her recovering tears from the vows he would have just recited. She felt bad for the news she was going to maneuver into her vows. She was going to break her silence of being a battered fiance and how Costas had been hurting her for months. It would not only hurt his feelings but also the pockets of those who would make the day beautiful for her. She would be hurting her friends and family but she needed this for herself. She needed her peace and had to face the fact that Costas wasn’t the man for her. She continued: “Our tiny life that we built in a matter of years was more than I could ever ask for. In Greece you told me that you wished paradise was forever and when I’m with you it is at least for a little while. Since our engagement that man ceases to exist. You have made me, my younger self. I thought you were a different man, I thought you were my guardian angel sent to me from the heavens. You have changed, and if I had a part to play in that I deeply apologize. Costas, I will not marry you today or any other day. Just a few weeks before we stand here you hit me and I decided that the life I want and the life you want are two different ideas. I can’t be with a man who chooses over and over again to be abusive and demeaning to a woman or their soon to be fiance. I am sorry Costas but I don’t love you anymore and I deserve more.” Erin’s eyes were now puffy and the words on her screen a blur. The keyboard and mouse was littered with drops of water that fell from her eyes. She closed the laptop shut and began sobbing. She sobbed until her tears halted and all she could do was sit wide-eyed staring at the ceiling. She could feel her world coming apart. She wanted Costas to be the man that she fell in love with but unfortunately she knew he would never be that man. She soon would recover from her sobbing and turn on the television to find endless romantic comedy movies and reruns of Criminal Minds. Weeks had passed since that day, Costas had begun to fly back and forth to California for the job as Athletic Trainer for the Los Angeles Lakers. He was excited to meet some big time players and be alongside some of the best in his field. He hadn’t seeked help in his situation and had still been violent with Erin. She had developed bruises along her torso and arms, she would hide them with long sleeves and makeup on those that would show. Their wedding was now days away. This life would be gone for the two of them and they would be able to develop new separate lives. Days had now passed and their wedding was here. Erin’s mom had been crying most of the day. Bridesmaids had been in and out of her house all day. They had been hungover most of the time they were getting ready. They wore pastel green bridesmaids dresses and everyone’s hair was the same. It was everything Erin had dreamed of but it wasn’t her wedding today, today was the day she would lose everything. She would practically be disowned by the people who spent money for her and would lose the once love of her life. The day commenced and it was finally time to walk down the aisle. She was ready with a bouquet in hand. Her mother smiled through tears as she put the crown atop her head and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Erin was ready, she joined her uncle Henry at the double doors that lead to the entrance of the church. They both walked arm-in-arm down the aisle, Costas stood at the altar in a black suit. Erin began to get nervous and tried looking back at the people in the pews with smiles and tears in their eyes. She kept her eyes front and attempted to focus on the task at hand. The priest had finished his sermon and it was time for the vows. Costas had gone first and Erin was up, she took a breath and recited her vows. By the time she was done she was afraid to look up at Costas. She did and she started crying. Costas stood shocked and Erin’s mom and Uncle Henry had anger on their faces and had risen from their seats. Erin turned to her bridesmaids, and apologized, giving each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She walked to her mother and did the same. Uncle Henry and Erin’s mom had followed her back down the aisle. Years had now passed, Costas had moved to California and Erin moved to Maryland. Costas was a successful athletic trainer with the Lakers and had found another woman, her name was Penelope. She never found out the reality about how the relationship between Erin and Costas had ended. She too had become a battered woman and Costas took no mercy, he never got the help he needed. Years would pass before he ever would. Erin had gotten her doctorate in Michigan and found a job helping veterans at Walter Reed medical center. She had found a new friend group and along with them she found a nice man. His name was Xander and they had been living peacefully. He had proposed at a Baltimore Ravens football game and knowing her history the engagement lasted for two years and they finally married in April. They were both happy together. Erin had found peace and love with Xander and the two were expecting their first born. Erin was comfortable and happy with her new life and was thankful for her bravery to leave her threatening relationship.