text: (This was the result of an English test we had, where we had to write a short story that would make you "feel good". We had 2 hours, and this was the result) Damien was no ordinary boy, in fact, he was born on 29th of February, which means that even though he has lived a total of twelve summers, his birthday has only been celebrated three times. This has, quite frankly, made the life of Damien a living hell, whereas he is still forced to attend kindergarten. One day, when Damien was playing catch with his three-year-old “peers”, completely obliterating the other kids’ self-confidence by being such a beast of a three-year-old, he fell and badly hurt his forearm. Damien felt an intense pain he never had experienced before, equal to the level of agony Lenin had bestowed upon the people of the Soviet Union when he implemented Communism, leading to the starvation and suffering of millions. Damien rolled around on the ground, clutching his right forearm with his left hand, moaning and wimping like the “three-year-old” he was. Now, the narrator of this story, which is me, was starting to feel very sorry about Damien for putting him in such a horrendous situation, so he decided to intervene and offer a lending hand, but also to further the plot of the story in an interesting way, breaking the fourth wall and keeping the reader on edge. *wink wink* As Damien was trying to rise from the ground, with all the power his gargantuan three-year-old body could muster up, barely resisting the immense temptation of crying, he saw a sudden opening in the clouds. A ray of light shined directly on him through the hole, suspiciously resembling a biblical scene. “Don’t cry Damien, my little child. I have solution for removing your pain.” Damien looked around, confused, trying to see if anyone else had heard the deep, manly, and incredibly sexy voice that had just spoken to him. “Hush my child, don’t be afraid now, you’re the only one that can hear me. Listen closely and I will make sure your pain will be relieved.” Damien looked up toward the opening in the cloud with an intense decisiveness to follow the hypnotic narrators command. “Now, that’s more like it! Alright little thing, you see that building over there, behind the fence of the kindergarten? I wish for you to jump the fence, run across the street, and enter the building. Inside will be a series of tests. If you can complete the tasks with perfection, you will be rewarded the legendary gel of pain-removal, the most precious healing artifact known to mankind, nay, alien-kind. It has a medical power tenfold more potent than the vibrating healing crystals of your present age hipster- culture. But be careful, for you must apply it on your forearm the moment you attain it, for all the worlds-, nay, universes medical conglomerates will start an offence against you, motivated by their immense greed for money.” Damien was determined to fulfil the task, but was understandably, slightly afraid of the consequences of doing so. He started to walk towards the fence of the kindergarten and jumped over it with incredible ease, for his body was already five feet tall, but the fence was made for children who had trouble defecating on their own. He walked across the street, each of his steps filled with incredible determination, completely disregarding the traffic of the busy city. Once he had reached the office building, he looked up in awe at the sheer height of it. You see, this was no ordinary building, it was a skyscraper, and a really fucking tall one for that matter. Damien entered the building, and following was a set of tasks, so mind-boggling, so intellectually demanding, so incredibly difficult, it would be completely impossible to retell as a story. In fact, the mere knowledge of it has ascended me, the narrator, to a level infinitely beyond human, and has practically made me a god. Well, it could also be because the writer of this story is closing in on his time limit, and can’t really finish it the way he originally desired... Anyway, after completing the tasks, Damien received his legendary gel of pain-removal, and quickly spread it on his forearm, instantly removing the pain that had been tormenting him during the profound and life-changing hardships he recently had experienced. Damien was filled with an immense amount of joy, for all his problems were now solved, and a feeling of relief washed over him. This made the reader of the story, you, vindictively feel good. The end.