text: If you’ve ever wondered if an alien can express emotions as we humans do, I’m pleased to inform you that in fact, yes, yes they do. For as my arm grew tired from holding it up high and firm, my new professor, from **Mega-Earth Kepler-10** ( A mouthful of a world to be sure), with his thick wide-body and tree trunk legs, his small eyes widened as he stared down the classroom towards me, I’m certain the expression showing on his face, so different from my own, was shock. It must have been like a mirror for him, for although I was easily the exact opposite to the man, from my upturned pink nose right down to my knobbly red knees, I too can confirm that my face showed a vague expression of shock as well. My hand had gone up on its own, my ancient ancestors, filled with rage and disgust, those dead warriors and mighty kings shook the heavens so hard that they shattered the pearly gates and possessed my body to fight one more fight in humanity’s name. “Yes? Brown, was it?” My professor enquired quizically as my hand flopped down an inch, I nervously stood up, all the while hundreds of different eyes and orifices turned toward me to catch a glimpse of the puny fleshy human who was interrupting their first lesson of the semester. “Um, y-yes Sir, I just... I-I just wanted to politely disagree with um with your p-point Sir, sorry.” I sat down, red-faced and hiding behind my curtain of black bangs, mortified and embarrassed. My professor was still staring at me, his eyes looked old and weary, but so full of knowledge and power, he looked at me with a calm smugness as he said, “Disagree? Brown? You disagree with my academic knowledge” I shot up like a rocket, straight-backed and sweating. “YEs Sir, s-sorry sir.” He paused for a moment. “ Well, this is a place of education and forward-thinking, so I think the rest of the class would agree” (he waved his arms and nodded at the class in a circular motion) “that we’d be *enamoured* to hear why you think your intellect outweighs that of a Professor of Universal Anthropology” The class was frozen in time, me, standing still in cold horror, my professor grinning at my dismay, and my whole lecture hall, glued to my board like body, so dwarfed by many of the much larger species in the hall. In fact, multiple were sniggering at my disagreement, I mean come on, I was living proof that humanity was weak. For some reason, their sniggering made me feel a sense of calm as I surveyed them all, all different species, and shapes and sizes, all of them large and proud. I should be terrified, but instead, I only felt a sense of... Confidence. My back straightened as I pulled my shoulders back. Time to become **human**. “Well, professor, I just meant that there is much evidence against your statement” I answered, somewhat calmly, but still shaking slightly (at least my stutter was gone). “How so?” I blinked. How the *hell* was I supposed to cram all of human history into one rebuttal?? May as well start somewhere. “While we may be an old fashioned race, and indeed we do focus mainly on peace treaties and peacekeeping, it comes from an ancient history of countless wars and numerous battles” The room exploded with snorts and cackles of laughter, whooping and honking drummed in my chest, and indeed even the professor was chuckling under his breath. I felt a burning deep in my stomach, like an indignant beast licking flames up my throat as I gazed over their sneering faces. My hands curled into tight fists that shook, how could I make them understand our deep history of battles, wars, genocides, our whole existence that once teetered on the edge of destruction by powers that made us question if the second coming of Christ was upon us. And as I stood straight and composed among my whooping classmates, something whispered deep in my soul, a sinister darkness, locked up long ago. *fight* I raised my arms. *Fight* I lifted myself up, onto my desk. *FIGHT* The class, slowly turned silent. *FIGHT.* And, with the might of a thousand millennium of history behind it *FIGHT.* My foot, as if in slow motion, but also with power, slammed down on my desk with a room-shaking BANG. I whipped my head up from its bent position and I stared my professor dead in the eyes, and for just a moment, I imagined this was how a lion felt as it stared down its wet nose to analyse his next meal to survive. My professor, all eight feet of that smug demeanour, faltered. Just for a moment, but he *faltered.* The room saw him. I stood tall on my desk, the shadow of a ripped, bloody flag passed down by my ancestors clutched in my fist, and I stared down at him, through my soft ebony mane. And I smiled. No words were needed. Humanity’s barbarity stood tall, ugly, and proud. I smiled sadly, we really live up to the legends, the human race, the greatest plague of the universe. I sighed, the first sound after my little show, and it seemed as if the class was waiting for my permission to move, they seemed to breathe out all at the same time, a gush of wind swept through the lecture hall but they still stood as still as possible, a class of marble. I jumped down from my desk feeling a wave of guilt come over me as I walked up to my professor, he looked so old and humiliated, so downtrodden, by none other than a human. I decided to fix humanity's nature, just like my parents taught me, step by step, for peace. I put my hand out to him, and I bowed deeply. “I apologise for my rudeness Sir, please forgive me.” He didn’t shake it, he just stood there, staring down at my small frame, bewildered. “Why do you bow?” I looked up at him, eyes locked, back bent, my wide, deep, black pupils still firey with passion as I stared deeply into his shallow snake-like pupils so different from my own.