text: I had an idea rolling around in my head. To stop the rolling, I took the idea and turned it into a story. This is the result. I hope you enjoy it. The old man rubbed his knotted hands over the smooth head of his cane as his grandsons sat before him. The boys knocked their feet against each other and giggled as they played with the edge of the blanket they were sharing. The old man rubbed his hand over his sparse hair as he prepared to tell his story. He told the boys “Tonight I will tell you a story about two brothers just like you two. Their names were Ahmed and Samir.” The older child piped up, “grandpa, your name is Samir but you don’t have a brother.” The old man gazed at the boy and replied, “it’s just a story, my child. Just a story, but remember that in all stories hides a grain of truth...” The old man tucked the boys in tighter and told his tale. Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a fisherman and his wife in a small fishing village. The fisherman and his wife lived a simple life until one day their lives were changed forever when the wife found out she was expecting a child. Their joy was complete and their hearts full. After some time the fisherman's wife went into labour and a beautiful baby boy was born. They named him Ahmed.The child was cherubic and beautiful to behold with large, dark, sparkling eyes and a mop of curly brown hair. He gazed into his mother's eyes and from then was the joy of her life. A few minutes later the wife felt another contraction and this was truly a surprise for it did not occur to her that there might be a second child. From the moment his mother went into labour, this second born child was a torment for his mother. While Ahmed's birth had been quick and uneventful, this second child took his time entering the world. His mother toiled through a long and difficult labour and once he entered the world the child screamed his discontent at his undignified entrance. He was smaller than his brother and was born with a clubbed foot. While Ahmed cooed contentedly, this second child scrunched up his tiny face and screamed his displeasure at the world. He screamed from the moment he was born and continued to scream, refusing to be consoled for the next 3 months. He was named Samir and by the time he stopped screaming, the damage was already done. He was labeled a difficult child and a difficult child he would be. Ahmed and Samir grew up together in the fishing village but their lives were very different. From the very beginning Ahmed was the favourite while his brother Samir was a burden to his family and himself. Ahmed was a charming boy beloved by all, and in their eyes he could do no wrong. Samir was quiet, introverted and preferred to hide in his brother's shadow. His eyes slanted down in the outer corners which gave him a mournful expression, and while Ahmed was quick to smile and had a sparkling personality, Samir kept his eyes downcast as if afraid of being noticed. To compound matters Samir became self conscious of his clubbed foot and he developed a habit of hiding his misformed foot behind his other leg as he followed in his brother's wake. In this way he could never quite catch up to his brother's confident strides no matter how hard he tried. The fisherman's wife favored her firstborn and it was clear he was her treasure. Sensing this unfortunate truth and not knowing what else to do, Samir avoided his mother and snuck into shadowed corners at her passing. He only scuttled out when nobody else was near and even if he did happen to meet someone he kept his eyes down and hurried past ignoring their worried stares. When they were at home Ahmed was constantly surrounded by a group of friends who hovered around him like moths to a lamp. He passed the days surrounded by laughter and cheer. Samir on the other hand took to hiding himself behind the large pistachio tree in their yard and gazing at his ebullient brother and his charmed life. At first when Ahmed saw his brother’s shadow he would call him over but as time passed and Samir failed to join the group, Ahmed was at first disappointed, and then frustrated and finally disdainful of his brother. He developed the habit of flicking his wrist in a dismissive gesture so that only Samir noticed and it was clear what Ahmed thought of his brother. Samir took to spending long hours alone inside the family home and there above the mantle in a place of honour hung a beautiful, intricately decorated calf-skin belt. The belt was a remnant of a life his mother no longer spoke of. Long ago, before Ahmed and Samir, even before the fishing village and everything that came with it, the fisherman’s wife was the daughter of a wealthy man. This man was the head tailor for the wealthiest families in the city where the family lived. This man created the best clothes for all the wealthy families and his skills were sought after far and wide. His daughter lived a life of leisure and her life was expected to be happy and easy. The man betrothed his daughter to the son of a wealthy neighbour. He was a handsome lad with dark curly hair and the tailor’s daughter blushed when she thought of him. All was well in her world until one day civil war broke out in the country. Rich and poor alike the citizens of the city were affected by the changes dictated by war. The value of a bowl of rice was greater than the need for silk jackets. The previously wealthy families of the city no longer had any need for new clothes. Fine garments became an unaffordable luxury and the tailor had no choice but to close his business. The once well to do tailor found himself struggling to support his family. Regretfully and despite his daughter’s pleading, the engagement was cancelled and a hurried marriage was arranged for the once spoiled tailor’s daughter. She was married to the son of a fisherman and from then on her life was full of mending nets and she could never quite get the smell of fish off her once silky white skin. This calf-skin belt was the last beautiful piece of her past world and was the last item of any great value in the household. Samir spent many hours silently tracing the scalloped edges of the belt and hoped to one day wear it with pride. As the boys grew older, the fisherman's wife kept Ahmed close by her side and had him sit by her as she worked on mending the nets. She could not tolerate the thought of her precious Ahmed being buffeted by the rough winds of the ocean where her husband caught fish for a living. She smoothed her hand over his rounded cheek and told him he was the light of her life. Ahmed was only too happy to sit by his mother as he kept her company. Samir, having no place in the bubble Ahmed and his mother created around themselves, naturally gravitated to his father's side and after some initial hesitation and concern over the slight boy, the fisherman warily invited Samir aboard his boat and to their mutual surprise realized that Samir had a singular talent on the water. A brusk man not given to displays of emotion, the fisherman worked Samir hard but no matter how hard he pushed, Samir put his head down and got the job done. Over time Samir won his father’s grudging respect as a boatsman. Day after day, with his father’s coaching, Samir worked hard on learning the trade. He was unaware of it at the time but his father’s shoulders stiffened with pride whenever the villagers mentioned how diligently Samir worked. How every time his knuckles cracked and chafed, he merely rubbed his aching hands and kept going because his son was by his side working just as hard. Though their life was simple and they worked from dawn to dusk every day, Samir’s father was proud of the life he had built. His own father had been a fisherman all his life but had been unable to afford his own vessel and had worked for other fishermen. The day Samir’s father was able to purchase a run down boat of his own was a proud moment. He worked hard to make that boat seaworthy and was never prouder than when his son Samir expertly sailed the vessel out to sea for the first time. As Samir engrossed himself in learning the secrets of the sea, Ahmed often leaned one shoulder against the rough bark of the pistachio tree in their yard and watched as Samir and their father worked side by side. With a hard stare he watched as they worked in tandem to ready the boat. Their wordless synchropathy was fluid and effortless and in this Ahmed felt inadequate and could not compare to his brother. He watched as Samir expertly wrapped the line around his forearm, knotting it neatly together. He watched in silence as his father’s mouth curled up in a half smile so fleeting he wondered if he had imagined it. Day after day, Ahmed kept his mother company while Samir learned the trade at his father's side. Ahmed was such a beautiful and naturally lovable child that his laziness and vanity was overlooked by everyone. Ahmed spent his days ruling the village square and keeping the villagers entertained with his cocky demeanour and cheeky antics while Samir worked long and hard hours on his father's boat. Over time, Samir learned how to read the waves, where the best fishing spots were and most of all he learned how to be patient. As the boys grew into adolescence, their uneven relationship solidified as Ahmed grew increasingly more handsome. The sweet rounded cheeks of his childhood became a chiseled jaw and high cheekbones with the healthy flush of youth. His sparkling eyes became hooded and knowing when the young ladies of the village glanced in his direction. They whispered behind shielded hands to each other when he passed and he was only too happy to run his fingers through his full curly hair when he noticed them looking. Samir was still smaller of stature than his brother and he never outgrew his awkward nature amongst the villagers. While Ahmed grew tall and lean, Samir’s shoulders stooped from his long hours working on the boat. While Ahmed’s naturally olive skin retained it’s suppleness, Samir’s became roughened from the salty ocean air. Ahmed, the golden child grew up into a handsome young man admired by the villagers for his physical beauty and adored by the young ladies of the village, while Samir grew into an introspective young man who preferred to spend his days on the dock kept company by the seagulls. As the boys neared their 17th birthday Ahmed grew closer to a particularly beautiful young lady named Laila. Laila was as fair and beautiful as Ahmed was dark and handsome. The young couple was the talk of the village and their lives were destined to be full of happiness and joy. As Ahmed reveled in the throes of young love, his brother Samir blended into shadows and gazed at the beautiful couple for as much as he tried to ignore it, he knew that he too was in love with the beautiful Laila. He tried to ignore these feelings but Laila was as kind hearted as she was beautiful. Laila showed nothing but kindness toward Samir. The more silent and gruff Samir was toward her, the harder she tried to be kind to him. Her kindness towards him made it impossible for Samir to hate her and hating her would have been infinitely easier to bear than to witness her falling in love with another. One day Samir left the dock at the end of a long day and ran through the village square through a dense drizzle. There, under the canopy of an old almond tree, he saw Laila waiting out the rain. She dipped her hand out to catch the rain then shook the water off. It was one of the few times he saw her alone, without his brother by her side. Before he could talk himself out of it, he detoured towards her and jogged to where she stood. Laila smiled widely when she saw him coming and shifted to the side to make room for him. Samir stood awkwardly in silence then startled when she placed her hand lightly on his arm. He looked down and saw that she was offering him a neatly folded kerchief. Gingerly, he accepted it and ineffectually dabbed at his face. Laila laughed good naturedly at his wet hair stuck to his forehead. Haltingly, Samir spoke first and asked her about her day. Cheerfully, Laila launched into an entertaining tale about her family goat and how he had escaped through a gate she had carelessly left open. She regalled him with the story of how she spent most of the afternoon chasing him through the village, only to return home to find him calmly grazing on the grass in her yard. Her friendliness was so infectious that Samir found himself relaxing in her presence. He realized that while until now he had kept his distance from her, that was mostly to do with his brother and had nothing to do with her. Samir ached to tell her how he felt. He started to speak then stopped numerous times until finally, out tumbled the one question he most wanted answered. Unable to look at her, he finally asked if there was anyone else she would consider being with other than his brother. He bit his lip hard as he focused all his attention on hearing her answer. Finally, softly and with an unmistakable apology in her voice she merely whispered, “my heart belongs to him.” Numbly, Samir stood under the almond tree even as with a fleeting look behind her shoulder, Laila darted into the rain and jogged away. Samir stood under the tree until the moon shone high and bright in the sky. In his hand he crushed the kerchief Laila had handed him. From that day, Samir ensured he could not be seen as Laila and his brother courted. He melted into darkened shadows and could do nothing but close his eyes every time he saw her almond shaped green eyes crinkle at the corners as she laughed at something his brother said. Samir scraped his nails against the rough bark of the tree when he witnessed the young couple hesitantly link their fingers together. He flushed and strangled an outraged cry when he saw the young pair bow their heads together like two graceful swans. Samir tried to hide his feelings but it killed a small part of him every time he saw Laila and his brother falling deeper in love. Samir's misery was magnified when, one day Ahmed announced his intentions to marry Laila the following spring. The boy's parents, and especially their mother was overjoyed at this news. Her treasured Ahmed would marry the most beautiful and kind hearted girl in the village. The boy's mother jumped up, ran to the mantle and took down the fine crafted calf-skin belt that Samir had so admired. Without hesitation she presented this gift to Ahmed in celebration of his upcoming nuptials. Samir’s face paled as he realized that even this, a whispered wish, a fleeting desire for something beautiful was not his to have. The one thing his mother treasured, she had now gifted to her most cherished. Ahmed had no inclination of how Samir felt, he only saw something of great beauty and he smiled widely as he put the belt on and swore never to take it off. Following this exchange, Samir receded into the shadows and walked to the far end of the beach where his village met the ocean. There, with the crashing of the waves drowning out his voice, finally shed tears of frustration and loneliness. The rough wind stung his eyes as his thin chest heaved. The seagulls wheeled overhead watching this odd spectacle until they too flew away, leaving him truly alone. One crisp autumn morning, Ahmed strolled onto the dock where his father and Samir were preparing to set sail . He announced to his father and brother that he would be taking the boat out this day for he wished to catch a bounty of fish to present to the family of his bride to be. He wished to show them that he would be able to support Laila and for them to bless the union. Samir grew concerned at this because Ahmed had not been out on the boat in some time and at the best of times was a mediocre boatsman. Samir on the other hand spent most of his days out on the water and was well acquainted with the hidden violence of the ocean. He warily looked up at the overcast skies and spoke up. Samir suggested that Ahmed wait a couple of days for the weather to clear to attempt his fishing trip. He worried that the weather was not predictable during that time of year and the ocean was surprisingly cold beyond the breakers. However, unlike Samir, Ahmed had not learned to be patient. He was used to getting what he wanted and had not learned to wait and bide his time. With a dismissive wave Ahmed insisted he would be fine and despite repeated requests to delay the trip, prepared to set sail. Ahmed's boat slid smooth and sure across the glittering water and with a sense of trepidation Samir followed his brother to the end of the dock. At the last moment before the boat cleared the dock, Samir leaned forward and jumped into the boat, rocking it from side to side. Ahmed whipped around in surprise but Samir would not meet his eyes, he merely collected the anchor lines, and pushed off the dock. The boys set off towards Samir's favourite fishing spot and as the day progressed, the clouds grew heavier and the air held a definite chill. Ahmed kept up a cheerful chatter about his upcoming wedding to the girl of his dreams as they rowed further and further from shore. Ahmed was not an experienced boatsman so left most of the maneuvering of the boat to Samir. Samir’s arms strained and his muscles bunched as he worked the oars through the choppy water as Ahmed sat back, leaning out to graze his fingers through the water. Finally they reached the fishing spot but since Samir had done most of the rowing by himself they arrived later than anticipated and it was already mid afternoon. Once again Samir pointed to the increasingly heavy clouds and suggested to Ahmed that they head back and return another day. Undeterred Ahmed insisted they still had a couple of hours left in which to fish and cast his line. Samir shook his head but followed suit. A few hours later the sun hovered on the horizon as finally, Ahmed stretched his back and suggested to Samir that they head back home. Frustrated at Ahmed’s lackadaisical attitude, Samir hurried to get the boat ready as the clouds loomed heavy and dark overhead. As the boys started their return trip, without warning the skies opened up and pelted them with heavy rain and soon the boys were both soaked through. Samir shouted at Ahmed to help him row the boat back to shore. His resentment towards his brother’s irresponsible actions boiled over as the boat was buffeted by high winds. As a particularly sharp gust of rain rocked the boat violently Samir shouted at Ahmed that he should have listened to him. Wrestling with the unfamiliar weight of the oars, Ahmed turned around in his seat and snapped at Samir that it wasn’t his fault he didn’t have as much experience as a boatsman. Unexpectedly, Ahmed launched into Samid about how he was never given a chance to prove his worth. Years of hidden resentment came to the surface as the boys fought to stabilize the boat and their emotions. The storm hit without warning and with such ferocity it took all Samir had to keep the boat upright. Samir fought against the biting wind as he wrestled the sails together and tried to get the oars in place. Again, he yelled above the din of the downpour for Ahmed to help him but his words were whipped away by the wind and all Ahmed could hear was the anger in his heart. Unfamiliar with the oars, Ahmed let them go and hung onto the rigging with a white knuckled grip as the rain plastered his hair to his face as Samir struggled on. As the boys crested a wave, Ahmed lost his grip on the ropes and fell face down, tossing hard on the bottom of the boat as the vessel rocked. Samir squinted his eyes to see beyond the driving wind and shouted at Ahmed to hang on. Ahmed struggled up but was dazed and winded by the hard fall. He had barely dragged himself back up when another wave hit the boat and this time he didn't have a chance to grab hold of the line and was shoved hard against the side of the boat. Samir saw his brother's form slam against the side of the boat and reached out to grab him. In that instant the boat careened hard to the right and Samir grabbed the lines again to right the vessel as he braced himself against the violent rocking. Samir was torn between the fight to help his brother and the fight to keep the boat from capsizing. In that moment of indecision, Ahmed teetered on the edge grappling for a hold but the rain slicked ropes slid from his frantic hands. Ahmed's eyes widened as he tilted back over the side of the boat. Ahmed's mouth gaped open in silent terror as his feet slid out from under him. All of a sudden with a great shudder he felt himself being pulled back. With a grimace on his face Samir grabbed hold of the belt around Ahmed's waist. The one their mother had given to him. Samir pulled back with all his body weight but he was outweighed by his brother and the momentum of the boat shifting was too much. With a horrifying tear the belt snapped in half and Samir fell backwards into the boat as Ahmed tumbled into the great chasm of the ocean. The waves engulfed him in a momentary flash as Samir scrambled to the side of the boat. Samir strained to see into the inky churning darkness of the ocean for signs of his brother. Samir screamed Ahmed's name as the wind and rain rushed around him in a cacophony. Samir let the ropes go and screamed until his voice grew hoarse. He screamed until he could no longer hear his own guilt. As quickly as it had started, the storm died down. Samir let himself drift on the waves until finally, dawn broke over the horizon. Stretching his aching body, he slowly rowed back to the docks. As he got closer he saw the shadowy figure of his father in the morning mist standing on the dock waiting for him. His shoulders dropped but he thought to himself, at least he would not have to face his mother yet. That is, until his mother's frantic form materialized from behind his father's shadow. Samir heard the searching cries of his mother above the drumming of his own heart. As he got closer, his mother raced down the dock towards the boat. On her face he saw the moment she realized Ahmed was not on the boat with him. His mother immediately started a keening wail as she pounded her fist against her chest as if to restart the beating of her broken heart. As soon as he cleared the dock he simply sat back as his father scrambled aboard and searched frantically for Ahmed for surely he must be hiding somewhere. Surely the unthinkable had not actually happened. Samir sat silent even as his father shook him hard, demanding to know what had happened. He sat unmoving even as his mother begged on her knees, holding his hands in a hard grip, tears flowing from her eyes asking where her precious Ahmed was. As chaos erupted around him all he could see was the scalloped edge of a belt sitting amidst the debris on the bottom of the boat. In the days following the accident the news of Ahmed's accident travelled around the village. At first there was disbelief for how could such a bright life be snuffed out so unexpectedly? One by one the villagers came by the family home, and one only had to look at the faces of Ahmed's parents to know that as unfathomable as it was, the rumours were true. The villagers whispered amongst themselves about the dangers of the ocean. How they knew someone who knew someone who had also been lost at sea. They shook their heads and clicked their tongues when Samir walked through the village square. That poor boy who lost his brother, that poor awkward child was all that family had left. Even as some villagers pitied the ill fate of the family, others cast wary glances at Samir. They knew him to be a capable boatsman and wondered how it was that such an accident took place. They had all admired his stalwart fortitude even in the worst weather conditions. The villagers shushed each other when these thoughts were uttered out loud. Of course Samir had tried his best, of course it was an accident. Afterall, he was still just a seventeen year old boy. The boy's father became even more silent than he already was. He rented another boat from another villager and fished out on the ocean for even longer than he usually had. He often did not come home until it was dark and the village was asleep. The villagers worried for him but his hard stoicism did not welcome their concern. He left his fishing boat tied to the dock where Samir had last stepped foot in it and never touched it again. Their mother simply took up residence in Ahmed's old room. She created a small spot for herself by the pallet where Ahmed had slept and spent her days and nights there. Samir didn't care about what the villagers said about him and tried not to worry about his parents, but he did care about what happened to Laila. The once fine and beautiful Laila became a recluse. She retreated into herself and became a shell of her former self. Her concerned parents told her she would meet another, but to anyone who looked closely, it was as if her spirit were broken. She took to taking long walks along the cliffs at the edge of the village overlooking the vast ocean where her beloved had been lost to her. One day, as Samir sat in his yard mending the nets his mother no longer cared for, he saw Laila walk past his house as she headed for the cliffs as was her new habit. Samir started to call out to her but bit back the words as he realized he didn't know what he could possibly say to her to lessen her pain. That day she did not return from her walk and in the evening her broken body was found at the foot of the cliffs. It was unclear whether the fall had been accidental or intended. The day after Laila's accident, Samir packed a satchel with a hard knot of bread, a hunk of cheese and salted dried fish. He slung the satchel on his shoulder and silently walked away from his family home. Samir had come to the conclusion that he was the curse that tainted everything and everyone he touched. From the moment of his birth he had been a source of frustration for his family and he could tolerate this no longer. He would walk away and hope to spare what was left of the lives of those he loved. As he walked away from his village, he looked back one last time towards the dock where he could see the shape of his father’s boat gently rocking on the calm water. Samir eventually settled in another fishing village and earned a living there. He married the hard working daughter of another fisherman and together they had a son. Samir's son grew up and had children of his own. The old man tucked the boys in closer as they had fallen asleep long ago, with their small rounded arms wrapped around each other in slumber. He whispered his calloused fingers over the sweep of their cheeks as he sighed, for he was weary. With some difficulty he stood up and with cane in hand thumped his way outside to stand in front of his small cabin. He looked up at the clear sky and wondered when the passage of time had worn away the bitter sharpness of the memory of that night. As if in a dream he could still remember the shape of the rough ropes on the boat. He could remember the sting of the ocean breeze on his skin. he remembered seeing the relaxed sweep of his brother's back as he spoke of his beloved and his enchanted life. He could still remember pulling out the small tub of lard he always kept on him to smooth on his face to protect his skin from the rough salty wind. He could still remember hesitating before he smoothed the lard on the ropes of the boat. He could still remember wanting to teach his brother a lesson. He could still remember thinking a small slip would be enough and Ahmed would never dismiss him again. A small slip and Ahmed would take him seriously. A small slip and he would save his brother and be a hero for once in his life. A small slip he had thought as the lard glistened on his skin. The old man rubbed his calloused fingers together and remembered.