text: Anything Else? “It’s tough, Mom. My career hinges on getting 80% on the exam day after tomorrow.” Immediately regretting comparing exam results to doomsday, Rhondi continued. “But I’m sure I’ll do fine, and by the way, the kids are doing great; all three like their teachers this year.” “Well, I don’t see how you’re doing this on your own. If I moved down there, I could...” “Mom, it’s okay. Anyone in health care will always have a job.” “It won’t be easy. My two nurse friends are always exhausted. Not to mention the politics that go along with...” “Politics are everywhere, Mom, no matter what field you’re in. Anyway, I need to get the kids organized for homework and bed, but I’m glad you called.” “They’re such sweethearts. Do they talk about Jack? You’re so much better off without...” “Sometimes.” Rhondi gave herself a mental high five for not reacting. “Okay, I really need to go. We’ll call soon. Love you.” How can it be eight o’clock already, Rhondi wondered. “Seth, April, Jon. Everyone to the kitchen - quick. Guys, I’m super tired, so what if April reads Jon a story while I go over Seth’s homework with him? After a little ice cream, of course.” When April and Jon were in bed, Rhondi could hear Seth in the shower. At 12, he was more mature than most of his friends. She worried that he felt responsible for his brother and sister - and for me. She heated a cup of tea and headed upstairs. Always thankful for a few minutes to relax after the kids were in bed, tonight was an exception. Books were spread across the bed for another hour of study. “Mom?” Rhondi looked up to see Seth in the doorway. “Hey buddy, come in.” “I know you have a test, but do you have a minute?” “Of course. I knew something was on your mind earlier. What’s up?” He sat down in the rocker. “First things first. I don’t like that guy you go to school with.” “Brent, the one in my study group?” “Yeah.” “Seth, he’s just part of the group, nothing more. These classes are hard and going over this stuff together helps me a lot. I’m not exactly a spring chicken, you know.” “Huh?” “Never mind. Something more?” “Alright, the other thing is, there’s a science project due next week. Today Billy and Mason said they’d pay me if I write theirs for them.” Rhondi put her cup down. “They asked you to help them or to actually write it?” “They want me to do the whole thing.” Oh, God, help me handle this right she silently prayed. “You guys have been friends for a long time, haven’t you?” “Since first grade.” “Well,” Rhondi said slowly, “those kinds of projects are easy for you, and you enjoy them.” She smiled as he rolled his eyes. “If you do it, you’d still have your friends - and some extra money.” She stayed silent for a moment. “Would there be a downside?” “They’d probably ask me to do it again,” he replied thoughtfully. “And I wouldn’t have time to get my own stuff done. And I might get caught.” “Hmm, those things could happen.” More silence. “Anything else?” He looked around the room and then looked her in the eye. “It wouldn’t be right.” “Bingo.” “Now what?” “So, what if you told them exactly what you told me and see what happens. It’s called ‘letting the chips fall.’ Check it out online and see what you think.” Pulling into the hospital parking lot the next morning, Rhondi tried not to stress about the day ahead for Seth. She was also concerned that her lunch date, now just four hours away, may not be a good idea. I can’t think about either right now she decided as clinicals began. Several weeks of treating patients on her own had instilled confidence, and this whole nurse thing was actually starting to feel real. She started three IVs , needing help with only one. Rhondi’s supervisor complimented her bedside manner as she adeptly inserted a needle while engaging the patient about his new grandson. After three hours of rounds, Rhondi eased into the seat next to Sylvia as Legal Aspects of Nursing class began. “How’d your IVs go?” Sylvia asked. “Pretty good. Right now, though, I’d like to skip this class and go study.” “I almost did. By the way, Brent and Carly want to eat at Jose’s right after clinicals around five and then study at the library. Brent will drive. You up for that?” “Yes.” Rhondi closed her eyes. “This exam just has me spooked.” “It has everyone spooked. Can you get your sitter, Elsa, right?” “Yep, I’m texting her now.” The instructor launched into various legal pitfalls of nursing, including horror stories of career altering consequences of negligence. Rhondi had little patience for such anecdotes. Weren’t IVs and wound treatment procedures enough to assimilate in one morning? Wanting class to end but anxious about lunch, Rhondi knew that an emotional upheaval today could scuttle passing the exam. She wondered what her kids and everyone else would think if they knew who she was meeting. “Doing anything for lunch?” Sylvia asked as they gathered their books. “Errands. See you after clinicals at five.” Rhondi checked the time and headed to her car. Arriving a little early, she decided to go ahead and get a table when the hostess approached her. “Rhondi?” “Yes.” “Right over here.” Looking where the hostess motioned she spotted him by a window in the corner. Wow, she thought, taken aback. He stood when he saw her and pulled out a chair. “You still look great in scrubs,” he said with a half smile. “I figured you probably wouldn’t have much time, so I’ve already ordered Pellegrino’s and our usual pasta.” “I have about an hour.” She sat across from him keeping her expression neutral. “You look good, Jack.” “What did you expect, greasy hair, grubby clothes and stubble?” His smile softened the words. “Something like that.” She returned the smile. “But last time you were at the house I could tell you’d made progress. About six weeks ago, right?” “Yeah.” Their food arrived and small talk about her classes and his rehab workshops followed. It seemed so normal, and Rhondi had to catch herself again from the pattern of hoping for a reboot that would make everything fine. “How are the kids?” “They’re good. Still unjaded enough to be excited about school - and life.” “I love those kids - our kids.” “That was never an issue, Jack. Everyone knows you do.” They ate in silence for a few moments. “April wants you to come to her birthday party in three weeks.” “I can’t believe she’s almost 11.” “Eighteen in her mind. She’s Jon’s self-appointed keeper since he’s four years younger, which of course includes telling him what to watch, what to eat, when to go to bed, etc.” Jack laughed. “I’d like to see them sooner than the party if possible.” “We could probably arrange that.” She briefly thought of cancelling Elsa and asking if he wanted to stay with them tonight. Instead, she recounted her conversation with Seth about his science project. Jack looked down at his plate. “I’m proud of that kid.” Then he met her gaze and said softly, “you’re doing a great job.” “Thanks. So, how’s everything going?” “We have classes each morning on diet, relationships, boundaries, a bunch of stuff. Afternoons are for exercise and workshops. I’m staying at a glorified halfway house for professionals who screwed something up. Anyway, if you’re wondering if I’m ‘clean,’ I am. I report to a sponsor, who I hated at first, but now I’m kind of liking this accountability thing.” Rhondi looked at her former husband who’d been a leader, funny, full of energy. “Has anyone said anything about ever practicing...” “Possibly clinical psychology - not psychiatry. Psychologists can’t prescribe medicine.” “How are you with that?” “Getting used to the idea.” Her fingers brushed the bottle of unopened anti-anxiety medication in her scrubs pocket as he continued disclosing details about his present life. Several of her classmates claimed these pills were getting them through school. I don’t want to be a martyr, but I don’t want dependency, she had decided. Prescription medication had destroyed Jack’s medical career and their family. She often wondered what would happen if she got hooked. More small talk until Rhondi looked at her watch. Tossing a virtual coin to decide who would take care of the kids tonight fell on the side for Elsa. “I have to get eighty percent on a tough exam tomorrow, so I’ll call in a couple days and we’ll figure out a time to come over.” Instead of pressuring her for an exact time, he simply said “thanks.” On the way to her car, she once again almost decided on Jack over Elsa for tonight, but she smiled and waved instead. Afternoon Clinicals went well, and by the end of the day, she was more than ready for supper at Jose’s and her group study session. She started to call Seth for an update but decided to wait till she could see him in person. Arriving at the parking lot, she saw Carly and Sylvia waiting by Brent’s car. They were a safety net, they all looked out for each other. Rhondi wasn’t even sure she would still be here without their encouragement and late-night study binges, usually at her house so she wouldn’t need a sitter. She suspected Brent would’ve liked a closer relationship, but she had never encouraged it. “Going to be a productive evening,” Brent said getting in the car. Sitting in the back seat, Rhondi felt her tension ease and began to relax. “I have to pass this test,” Sylvia announced. “No repeating classes. No more school loans. I need a job.” “Me too,” Carly said. “I can’t imagine going through this class again or delaying graduation. I just have one older kid. Rhondi has three young ones.” “Not sure how you two are surviving nursing school with kids,” Sylvia said. “How are yours, Rhondi?” “Better than I could have hoped, considering the ‘single mom in school thing’.” She was about to recap Seth’s friends issue but decided against it. “Overall, things are good.” Brent had remained silent during the short ride, but he caught Rhondi’s eye in the rearview mirror and winked as they arrived. She smiled briefly in return. After everyone ordered, Rhondi realized she was anticipating an evening for the first time in ages, even though it was just for study. The kids were in good hands, there’d been no major incidents during morning rounds, and Jack seemed better, much better actually. “Why’d you bring your briefcase in, Brent?” Sylvia asked. “Can’t stay away from the books even during supper?” “About that,” he said pulling a packet out of his briefcase. “I have great news for us all.” Small talk ended as he had everyone’s attention. Dramatically opening the packet, he announced, “right here is a copy of the test we’ll all be taking tomorrow.” He looked around the table, eyes lingering a bit longer on Rhondi. “And for a mere twenty-five dollars - each, of course - we’ll study it this evening.” A stunned silence followed. “What, no takers? We all want, we need, to pass don’t we?” “How’d you get that?” Sylvia finally found her voice. “Who gave it to you?” Carly was indignant. “That’s it?” Brent looked at each one. “How do you know it’s the real test?” Sylvia demanded. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to...” Smiling mischievously, he uncovered the top portion to reveal the school insignia and the title. Carly and Sylvia leaned forward to read the small print. More silence. “Let me think for a minute,” Carly said slowly. “Me, too,” Sylvia shot a glance at Rhondi. “Cat got your tongue, Rhondi?” Brent asked with a friendly smile. Right in front of her was a gift, a free pass to a career that would support her children. But all she could see was Seth’s face as they had discussed options. Then she heard her voice. “Sorry, guys, this probably isn’t my thing.” They stared at her. “What do you mean?” Carly was obviously torn. “We need this. It’s not like we’re slacking.” Sylvia nodded in agreement. “We’ve been killing ourselves. This isn’t that big a deal.” “Which, passing the test or buying a copy?” Rhondi asked. Sylvia glared at her, an expression Rhondi had never seen. “The world won’t end if we use it,” Carly pointed to the test. Their food arrived but was ignored. Brent watched Rhondi but spoke to the others softly. “Take it easy, you two. Give Rhondi some space, a chance to look at the upside. It’s not like we haven’t been learning this stuff all term. This just allows us to focus on key points. How can there be a downside? She deserves to get through this just like we do. And she knows her kids would benefit. Nothing more to consider. Anything else?” All eyes were on her again. Rhondi looked around, aware that she was expected to respond. Once again she heard her own voice. “Look, you guys go ahead. Consequences aside, it’s not right. I’ll just head on home after we eat.” Rhondi maneuvered through light traffic on her way home. There had been small talk in Brent’s car on the way back to the library, none of it directed toward her. Nearing the house, she considered going to the public library to study on her own. Her energy was depleted, though, and she needed a welcoming atmosphere, she needed to see her kids. As she turned on to her street, her heart nearly stopped. Whose car was in her driveway? Elsa lived only a few doors away and always walked. Was that Jack’s car? Expecting another blow, Rhondi rushed through the door. “What’s going on?” she could barely speak. Laughter? Sitting at the dining room table were Seth, Jon, April and Jack, playing Monopoly. All four looked at her. “Mom, why are you back so early?” April asked. “We’re having fun, Mom,” Jon said grinning. “Whoa, everybody, hold on,” Jack commanded. “One at a time.” “Everything’s fine. I just decided to study here instead. Where’s Elsa?” “Her dad was rushed to the hospital, so she called me,” Jack said. “She had your number?” “She said you texted it to her when she agreed to stay with the kids tonight - in case anything ever came up.” “Oh, that’s right, I did.” Rhondi stood watching them, still holding her books. “Are you okay, Mom?” Seth had a concerned look. “Of course she is,” Jack assured them, taking Rhondi’s books and setting them on the sofa. He looked at her for a long moment. “Why not have dessert with us and then go study in the den. I’ll clean the kitchen and make sure everyone’s ‘on task’.” All three kids chimed their approval. “By the way, Mom,”Seth said, “I did what you said and let the chips fall. Billy said he wants to do his project himself anyway, but Mason’s still a toss-up. It’ll work out. It’s good you’re back. Dad got ice cream sundaes.” The background sounds of Jack cleaning the kitchen and supervising bed-time provided a calming atmosphere as Rhondi went through several practice exams online. “Doing okay?” Jack asked from the doorway. “I think so. What time is it?” She realized the house had grown quiet. “Ten. So, what happened earlier?” “The guy in my study group got a copy of the exam, and for twenty-five dollars each, he said we could all study it together.” Jack sat down in the chair facing her. “Wow. So, you’re the boy scout. How do you feel?” “Still processing.” “What if I quiz you on chapter summary questions? I’ve got a couple of hours till curfew.” “Okay.” The next morning, after the exam, Rhondi walked quickly to her car and drove to the café where she’d been twenty-four hours earlier. The same hostess guided her to the same corner table where Pelligrino’s had already arrived. “So?” Jack asked. “So, it was a killer. Results popped up immediately online. Only three people passed with over eighty percent.” “Your study group?” Rhondi nodded. “What did you get?” “Seventy-eight point nine.” Jack took a sip of water. “You may not remember when I failed that final in my third year and had to retake the class. Anyway, it proved helpful because the material was repeated in a few other classes. At first I thought it was the end of the world, but it wasn’t. Neither is this.” “I want to believe that.” “We - you need a plan. Elsa and I can alternate watching the kids. You know this material. Seventy eight point nine with all that was going on; you’ll ace it next time.” Rhondi nodded. “What are you doing after lunch?” “Probably just take a break and maybe a nap before the kids get home. If you’re free later, maybe you could help plan April’s party.” “Sounds good.” Jack handed her a menu. “What would you like?”