text: Joe was a ghost. If you want specifics, he was a poltergeist, but no one ever knew what that was, so, y'know, he just self-identified as a ghost. And he was anxious, because Halloween was coming up, and he had no plans. He debated scaring kids and stealing candy, but then again, he couldn't eat. He had started making a cursed VHS tape, but, heck it, who even had a VHS player nowadays? He even scripted spooky phone calls, but they had no effect, in a day and age where people hung up when they saw an unknown number. There was simply nothing Joe could do to scare people like he could back in his day. He paced around the graveyard. Some people came in, and mourned at gravestones of loved ones, he wanted so bad to pull them down into the graves with him but, well, those people with their scrolly scrolly social media and consent rules, and everything. He'd be ashamed and embarrassed before Friday the 13th. "If only people weren't so desperate for friends these days. Then maybe they wouldn't see me as a friendly neighborhood Casper!" but still, Joe wouldn't give up. He was a poltergeist, and poltergeists lived to scare. Hmm... A child would be easy to scare, maybe, if he was lucky enough to find one that didn't have a parent hovering over it at all times. He realized he couldn't come up with ideas all on his own. He needed inspiration, and he needed to watch and observe what really s cared people these days. He decided to start with the wisest of ghosts, Father Ghost. He started floating over to Father Ghosts grave, all the while observing the humans by the graves, death seemed to scare them, but he couldn't kill a human, could he? But these humans didn't even shy away from the spiders, so surely that wasn't it. He crossed spiders off his list of things he enjoyed scaring humans with. Just not scary enough anymore. Soon, he was at Father Ghost's grave, but Father Ghost must have seen how glum Joe looked. "surely you anticipate halloween, yes, O Joe?" he questioned. But Joe could not say he did. "It's just... I can't think of a single way to scare anyone this year!" He began to explain Father Ghost his troubles. But, before he could even get to the part about spiders, Father ghost said, "surely humans are still scared of some things. Grab my hand, Joe." Joe wasn't so sure that was a good idea. What Joe wanted was help, not some Christmas Carol reenactment. But he did as Father Ghost, the wisest of all ghosts, said. Suddenly, they were looking in the window of a house. "Is this Halloween past?" asked Joe. "naw, I just kinda moved you a couple blocks, I am Father Ghost, if I can bear nicknames like, "daddy ghost" I can teleport. Trust me." Joe pulled his hands away. Even the ghosts were using slang, and becoming less and less professional. Joe's suspicions were confirmed, not even Father Ghost could bring Halloween spirit to the table, Halloween was ruined. He ran down the streets before Father Ghost could ask what he was doing. Only his third ghost Halloween and just not one way he could scare someone. On his way walking down the street, visibly showing his angst to any ghost that would spend time to bat an eye in his direction, he listened to human talk. "Gotta pay my bills. Just looking at the number makes me sick." one human said while on a phone call. Sick. Like humans used to be when he haunted them. He passed through the human to go through the other side of the street, the man just shivered and pulled his coat tighter. No goosebumps like there would have been even a year ago. There was just no way Joe could... wait, could he? Joe's mind raced. If he could get into the man's house, use his poltergeist powers, higher the number of the bill... technically, Joe could scare this man! getting excited now, Joe began to follow the man home. occasionally, `he would make wind out of nowhere, or snap a falling twig, or even go inside the man for a bone-chilling effect. when the man reached his house, He was walking notably faster, and seemed all too happy to get inside But he’s not done yet thought Joe. He let the man close the door, then floated in, as if nervous his powers might disappear. He walked over to the kitchen counter, where the man was eyeing the bill. Muttering at the number. At first, Joe was discouraged, then he had an idea. If he could change the numbers while the man was looking at them, surely this man would get the added spook of thinking he was going insane? Joe was sure he could really mess with this man's head, in a way he couldn't in the past. Joe smiled to himself. $3,405, $3,450. up... up... up... $3,000,000. The man looked, wide eyed, at the bill. And ran out of the house, screaming. Joe laughed. I'll make sure to visit you in the mental hospital. He thought. He walked out of the house. Visiting more people. Every time they ran out, screaming or crying or both, he would smile, and laugh. Surely this will be the best Halloween ever. He thought to himself, still smiling, and laughing, and ready to haunt more people. He continued down the street, ready to up his game, no longer would he stick with people in this town, he would go to places like New York, California, and Hawaii. Joe knew he would be talked about for years, because he would target kids, too. He would change every right answer on their test for wrong! He would be diabolical. And the best part? He thought humans couldn't be scared this year. Hmmm, who's that knocking on your door? Its me, Joe.