text: I never really spent much time trying to explain this story to any one other then 1 or 2 people. But its a story about love, loss and how you grow cause of it. It should be said that this isnt a story of the love that goes beyond what I have now. This is not the greatest love story ever told. I am far more in love with my wife then I ever was in this tale. But it is a story worth retelling. Earlier, within the last year (2006) I went through a terrible break up. I hadn't made much of an effort at all to join back into the dating scene. I had gone on a couple dates and had a fling or two, but I never felt like I was ready. Mostly, I spent my days working on my own self improvement. Work, gym, friends. I had a comfortable routine, and enjoyed it. We fell in love on our first meeting. A rainy, cool spring night. Me and my friends ventured out without a plan. Only to settle on a well known watering hole, with cheap drinks and catchy songs. I was young, only 24 and she was about a year and a half younger then me. We were still a bit naive, albeit educated and intelligent. But our naivety didn't make us foolish or dumb in our actions. When I made these plans originally, I intended to go for drinks as more of a guys night out. Hence, the dimly lit, almost depressing bar. I had been told that there might be a few more joining us later, but I never intended to fall in love that night. But then again I don't think either one of us did. I was about a half a dozen drink and half a packs of cigarettes into the night when she glided into the room. Tall and statuesque. I'm speechless and unapologetically staring. She smiles at me, flicking her eyelids, leaving me blinded. Taking a seat at the table, across and at the other end. I start scheming of how I'm going to talk to this girl. Next to me sits Angela, and she starts a conversation. Without hesitation I ask who are her friends? "That's Lacey, and Anna's at then end of the table." 'Anna' I repeat in my head. Casually listening to Angela talk, peeking out of the corner of my eye at Anna. Soon after I'm up at the bar ordering another drink. Beer, nothing fancy just cheap. The girl at bar is nice. Its been a slow night and we've been exchanging pleasantries all night. We're having a laugh and one of the regulars. Apparently, he likes to come in on Saturdays and fill the juke box with enough quarters and play country music as a way of driving out the young crowd. On my left I feel a hand grab my shoulder. "Vodka cranberry" she shouts in my ear. "I have to pee. I'll be right back", its Anna. She smiles and walks away, I give her a thumbs up. 'What I loser' Im thinking to myself. 'Who gives a thumbs up..' "I'll buy the next round" she smiles and walks away. So after 20 mins of planing how I was going to talk to this girl she goes and ruins it by breaking the ice first. A wave of release washes over me. My underlying anxiety relaxes and I take the seat next to where she was sitting. When she gets back to the table she isn't empty handed. Two more drinks for us. We immediately hit it off. Laughing, joking, the casual shoulder or knee touch. There's not only sparks, there's fire. The night passes, eventually we're kissing, passionately, in the alley next to the bar. We all spend the night at a friends house. Have breakfest at the nearest greasy spoon. I get her number and she takes mine and im off back home. We make plans to talk later in the week but I cant wait, so I call the next day. Its obvious we are eager to talk to each other again. We make plans for the weekend and it was pretty much set, were in love and not ashamed to admit it almost instantly. Our summer breezes by. Spending every minute we can together, sharing in adventure and making plans for more everyday. Our love grows, expands to create something more. Something capable of connecting the divide that is between us, religion. Her father was a minister at the local church in her home town. She grew up in that life and for most of it, up until she went to university, only knew that life. She made a point of going to her local church and knowing that I firmly remained agnostic. Some days I joined her, but mostly we accepted who we are as individuals separated from each others beliefs. Her father on the other hand didn't approve of the rough around the edges, albeit, nice young man I was. He was lied to, and he had to be lied to for us to get away with it. "We're good friends" I remember telling him. "Shes just a joy to be around", not a lie. We spent the next year and a half with each other as much as we could. Weekends away, wedding with friends, lazy sundays in bed. Every moment cherished, cause we both knew it was ending and soon. We had an expiration date and every day we spent together was one less that we would have. Eariler in the summer, shortly after her parents had finally heard the truth about us, and we celebrated our first year together. Her relatively poor, modest living family, had come up with the capital necessary to put Anna into a prestigious christian college. In England. Fucking, England. She was over joyed, it was the kind of experience she was looking forward to. What kind of piece of shit would I be to stand in her way. I voiced my opinion, "Doesn't it seem weird that only after your parents find out about us that they find a way to break us up?" I remember exclaiming my argument with distaste for how they saw me. "They will never approve of us being together" I fought on. She tells me that we are what we are for us and not them. I believe her and we make like we'll always be here for each other. Knowing that it isnt true, it's just an easy way to soften the blows. Finally, we come to her departure day. I meet her in her town the day before. We spend our last day in the park, walking with hand in hand held tightly. 'If I let go now you'll be gone forever' I think. We have a spaghetti and meatball dinner with her family, wash up the dishes, pack up the car and head to the airport. Its an hour drive into the city. At the airport, we sneak away for our last moment of intimacy. A long hug and kiss. Tell stories about us together that make us laugh. Hold hands more. Gaze into each others eyes. Share our love, for one last moment. We go to the departure gate and shes tearing up, saying goodbye she hugs her mom and then her dad, and then me. We kiss once more, for us. A deep and long kiss. Her parents have never seen us kiss, or hug or hold hands. Because of how they feel about me, we always hid it, even though they knew we were a couple. My eyes and gushing with tears, and so are Anna's. I can feel them behind me, watching a mistake they made unfold. Torn apart, we say goodbye. Her hand slips from mine. I watch as she paces away, hiding her face, beyond the gates she disappears. Goodbye. I wipe the tears away and turn around. Hiding my pain, my anger, I smile at them. "Well, no point hanging out here all night." I say, desperate to rid myself of this situation. We drive back to her parents house. I now have spend the night since her flight was so late. They try to make conversation with me, and I do my best to talk with them. The next morning I do my best to make nice and thank them for the bed. I declined breakfast thinking it would be best for me to just move on. But before I leave I find myself explaining to them what they have done. We were in love. Deeply. We knew each other. We cherished our time and made each other unselfishly happy. That they didn't just break up a fling, but ended the kind of monumental love that the lucky only find maybe twice. I said goodbye and walked out. We talked as much as we could over the next year. But we couldn't pretend that it would work out for us when she would return home. And when she did, we hung out a bit. Had some laughs, made love again. But it wasn't the same. It felt forced and to be honest, I was always worried that her parents would tear us apart again. We both moved on and found love with others. We've never talked since. Without saying it I'm sure we both agree it was for the better that way. But deep down, I know that we still think about each other. We still remember.