text: I'm not what they wanted, but I'm what they've ended up with. Beautiful and fair I am yes, since birth, but with my slowness in school and my urges to be free, my beauty becomes worthless. I'm not as smart as my brothers and sisters, or as well behaved. But I love dancing and talking to all the interesting people at all of our grand parties. People take to me so well, and yet still it isn't enough. It's almost midnight now I believe. The constant dripping of the leaky pipes ticking like the old clock in Father's study tells me so. I focus only on that sound. They say I was born this way, my learning disability as they call it. Complications with my birth made it difficult for oxygen to get to my brain, thus creating the dumb creature lying crumpled on the floor of the dark dingy basement. I used to love the night. The best parties are always held at night, with the moon shining brightly from up high and everyone feeling absolutely alive because of it. Then there are the moments of sneaking away deep into our garden with a boy who I fancied, sharing kisses and giggling quietly, our only witnesses being the stars. Mostly though, I liked enjoying the night all by myself. Sneaking out the back door and walking through our vast garden, accompanied by the moon's gentle glow or simply the twinkling of the stars, I walk and think and breathe in the crisp air, and take in all the dark beauty around me. Breathing deeply I try to inhale the spirit of the night that calms my wretched soul like nothing else can. I want to bathe in the moonlight , swim through the dark swirling galaxies and lay among the stars. The night was the only time I felt truly alive, but they took that away from me too. It was seven months ago when they first caught me sneaking out, several more times and they deemed me much too rebellious to be left alone at night, so they locked me in my room. But I could not be stopped. The pull of the night was much too strong for me to resist and so I went out again. And when father found me, sneaking out again and disobeying his repeated command, the love affair with my beloved nights had come to an end. But that was not all. The night father found me sneaking out of my bedroom window, he was furious. He grabbed my arm and yanked me through our mansion like home, shouting at me about how stupid and misbehaved I am, how nobody could love me the way that I am. He shouted these things at me even while I cried, and nobody tried to help me. My brothers and sisters watched me be thrown down the stairs and into the pitch black basement, mother couldn't stand to watch it happen, but there was certainly no way she'd go against father's wishes, and so she ran off to their room to cry. Nobody seemed to notice how hard father had thrown me, nobody heard my scream of agony when my leg cracked and twisted at an unnatural angle. They ignored me, while father locked me in the dark, in such pain and agony that I have never felt before. That was two days ago. I wonder sometimes if they've forgotten me, or perhaps they decided to leave me down here so I would have a good scare and never rebel again. Or maybe their life is easier now. No more having to explain the dumb sister, the rebellious daughter. These are the thoughts that are twirling around my foggy mind as I lay cold and hungry on the damp ground, unable to move the leg that has become numb with pain. my only joy now is looking out the small window that sits high up on the basement wall. I can see it. The night, it's waiting for me. It's waiting for me to bathe in the moonlight, to swim in the purple swirling darkness of the galaxies, to meet wonderfully weird new creatures and dance with them on the planets, and finally, to lay to rest amongst the stars. Yes oh yes the night is waiting for me, and tonight I shall go to it. I will become one with the night.