text: “Economics is fascinating, really.” I said, looking into the mirror at the man sleeping in the backseat of the car. “Nothing is truly stable. There are fluctuations everywhere. The stock market, interest rates. Sure, people have an idea of how consistent something performs, and put all their money in that, thinking its safe. It’s not. Nothing’s safe when it comes to money.” We were driving down a long stretch of highway, enjoying the time we had together. “So, you put things in a ‘safe’ place, or at least your broker tells you its safe, and you trust him, so why not, right? Then that ‘safe place’ decides to go belly up. All that money you put in there is just vapor at this point, right? Just because a bunch of people didn’t value that stock anymore.” I gripped the steering wheel tightly. I wasn’t bitter. “Economics is just a fantasy on a planet-wide scale!. A bunch of people thought that the stock was valuable one second, the next, it’s worth nothing. Then schmucks like you and me have to deal with a auto-recorded phone call from their broker saying ‘sorry I’m a dipshit that gave you bad advice-blah blah blah- goodbye cruel world’” He even had the gunshot sound during the recording! Do you believe that?! Like I gave a shit about his pathetic life at that point. I had to get back to work!” My friend’s head nodded as he slept. He understood me, even while he was sleeping. He really was a great guy. It was too bad I had to drop him off. “So now, I’m what, sixty eight? My old job at the railroad was too much for me anymore. I can’t do what I did back then. My body won’t take it, but my mind. Oh boy, my mind is just as sharp as it ever was. So I take the last of my money, go to school and grab some certifications that I could use to help myself get back on the right track, you know? I grabbed some counseling credentials. Fuck, if my therapist can charge me hundreds of dollars an hour to talk, I could at least get a few bucks doing the same thing, right?” I heard a snore, which I took as affirmation of my thoughts. He really was quite understanding. “Turns out, nobody wanted to hire me. I look *great* on paper. Hell, I think I look great in general, you know what I mean? Look at me! I’m quite the catch!” I adjusted the rear view mirror to take a look at myself and brush a few stray hairs out of the way, brushing them back into my pompadour. “I would get through the initial phases, but for some reason, they didn’t like me after the interview! What kind of bullshit is that, I ask? Some major bullshit! I out-qualified every other applicant! They even told me so! ‘You’re overqualified’ ***WHATEVER***.” I pounded my palm against the steering wheel. My BFF fell over. It was a bit melodramatic, in my opinion, but at least he’s on my side. “So now, I have to go freelance, right? If there’s no opportunity, MAKE an opportunity. I’m so very glad you’ve decided to come along and help me make this opportunity for myself. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You know that, right?” Another snore, a loud one, confirmed he understood the importance of his assistance. The hemp friendship bracelets I had made for him had tangled together. I would have to help him get those off later. Don’t want him to wake up to hands that are asleep. That’s the worst feeling ever. “So, I found this opportunity up here. Real quiet town. One stop sign type of place. Nice little convenience store for people passing through like you and me.” I winked at him. “Anyway, I scouted the place out. I think we’ll do really well here!” I looked at the GPS map my Best Friend had pulled up for me, and we were nearly there. He was quite the catch himself. I felt so lucky to have him with me. “When there is no opportunity, you MAKE an opportunity!” I sounded so confident. I’m sure my heterosexual life mate would agree. “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs! Fortune favors the bold! Yes, these are all true, my friend! We’re going to show those asswipes on Wall Street that even little guys like you and me can make a major impact on the world! We don’t need those fancy retirement accounts! We can survive on our wits! And our cunning! And...we’re here!” I turned down the main lane, stopping just a block away from the convenience store. “Ok! So here we go! I’m going to wander up there, ok? I parked a little bit away, because I need to stretch my legs. I’m going to grab the stuff, then in a few more minutes, you do your thing, right? And then I’ll be there to collect the checks and money! We can’t lose on this!” I got out, and rummaged through the trunk to find my sign and a table and a couple of folding chairs. I was halfway to the store when I remembered that I had forgotten to take off my soulmate's bracelets. I set the things down, and ran back to him, cut the hemp ropes off, and started walking back to my things while pushing the lock button on my key fob. “Remember kids, we’re parked on the tracks!” I chuckled at my own joke. So clever. I set up the table just outside the convenience store. Made it look all nice, had a couple of clipboards, some pens. The folding chairs were those nice ones with cloth covered foam seats. I went all out! It was going to pay off, I knew it. It wasn’t long before the railroad crossing activated. My car, and the love of my life were right there, in the middle of it. Sitting there, waiting for this moment. A moment later, the train whistle sounded as the locomotive powered down the line and finally was able to see the car on the tracks. I saw my love’s head jolt up, confusion on his face as he tried to clear his head from the chloroform headache. It was a doozy to get over, I tell you. Been there once or twice myself. When realization struck, he tried to reach for the door handle, but it was too late. The sight of a train hitting a vehicle is actually underwhelming, and nothing like they show in the action movies where there's explosions and cool people walking away from them without looking at the fiery inferno occurring behind them. Nope. It’s a loud crash, followed by the sound of screeching metal and rubber on the street. It was at that moment, that I unveiled the sign.