text: This is what she wants more than anything in the world. I just can’t give it to her. God, what’s wrong with me? I felt like I could, at the start of our relationship I was smitten. I tried to be everything she wanted. She opened up to me so much back then, and...yeah, I felt like I could get there, too. But I can’t, I know I can’t She’s been asking about it a lot lately. I have to be honest with her. It will break her. It’s time to let her know. She’s been in a good mood today but this conversation will change everything. She was cleaning up in the bathroom when I knocked on the door frame and asked if we could talk “Yeah, just give me a minute, cleaning up in here a bit” she said as she was gathering up wet towels. She was wearing cleaning gloves as she walked past and handed me the load that I took instinctively. The pile was heavy. I looked down at it. There was an axe wrapped up in there. The towels were blood soaked. I dropped them and ran to the bath. Turning on the lights, I saw him immediately. He was in the tub, partially decapitated. Dead. I fingered the broken razor blade before I realized what I was doing and pulled back, dropping it into the crimson red water. The water that had already gone cold. “LILLY, what did you do?” I cried out She was standing right behind me “Surprise” she yelled. She was beaming. “Lily, no, God, what have you done?” “I knew you were having trouble with it. You’ve been distant lately. I thought you might back down” She responded “You know how bad I wanted this, for us” Fuck. “Lily, no. I came here to tell you that I couldn’t do it, that I didn’t want this” I said as I stared down at the blood on my hands and shirt “I know you didn’t” She smiled as she spoke “so I took matters into my own hands” “We have to tell someone” I said “I’m sorry...I...I..just can’t do this and we have to be honest about it” She looked at me quizzically. She was pristine. No blood on her anywhere. “Well” she said “I mean, I guess we could tell someone. But it looks you’re the one covered in blood, and I think you touched the razor blades and the axe” She bit her bottom lip “It’s not a good look for you” I started to feel woozy. She was right. And this was blackmail. She took her phone out of her pocket and dialed 9-1 and then she held it up to me and asked “Should I call? Should I call and cry? Should I tell them that I came home to this” She wailed, crying and faking a scream. She turned off the phone and laughed.