text: Waves of hot and cold fought for dominance of Erika’s skin. Her suit worked tirelessly to protect her from the harsh temperatures, but a little still trickled in. The little fan connected to a chilled tank whirred loudly in protest, but the hardest part was yet to come. It was only hours ago that Erika and her husband had left their home. Now, they were heading toward a shuttle that would take her to the first experimental space station. The thought sent butterflies through her stomach. “Ready?” Russell asked. He flung his own suit’s backpack over his shoulders. Erika took one last look around the crashed vehicle they’d entered the desert in. It hadn’t been long before disaster struck. The engine had overheated, sending the driver into a frenzy. The vehicle had rolled at least a mile before landing. Erika sighed at the small mound of sand that now housed several casualties. She grabbed Russell’s hand and the two set out into the night. ___ It wasn’t until a few days in that they first encountered what the news had deemed “Zombies.” There was a hoard gathered around an unmoving object. Erika couldn’t make out what it was, but knowing that they tended to go after humans she came to her own conclusion. Russell turned around and put his index finger to his helmet with one hand and reached for the small knife in his boot with the other. Erika nodded and followed as Russell started to move to the left. The zombies moaned and groaned, stumbling around their prey. Though the sky was dark, the moonlight was enough to illuminate everything as if it were day. She could clearly see the sagging, deformed flesh of the zombies' bodies. Their skin was yellow tinted with dark spots that gave it the appearance of burnt string cheese.. The pair managed to quietly slip down the dune and make their way around the hoard. Erika placed her hands on the sides of her helmet. Their sickening moans rang through her ear canals, settling in the pit of her stomach. It was an hour, or a few minutes, but they finally lost sight of the hoard. Russell slid the knife back into his boot. The sky was turning a bright pink, danger disguised with pretty colors. Russell's fingers laced through hers, sending a warmth through her arm and into her chest. Soon, she thought. We’ll be safe and we’ll be together. All she had left was hope. ___ Outside of the cave was like a mirage. Wavy lines blurred the horizon with sand dunes as far as the eye could see. Erika’s eyes squinted as she observed the outside world. The small rock formation was a nice break in the shade. Their suits’ whirring slowed in the shadows, getting a break from the open air. Even still, it was dangerously hot. “I’m glad you said we should travel at night,” Russell said, sitting with his back against the cliff. Erika was glad she’d thought to travel at night, too. The thought of being out in the sun made her shudder. “Russ, do you think we’ll make it?” she asked, her voice trembling as she sat down next to him. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. “I think we can make it,” he deducted. “We’re prepared. We have water, defenses, food. The cooling tanks will last at least another week.” “Yeah, but do you feel like we’ll make it?” Silence filled the air, but different than the last time. This one felt like an impassable void had been ripped between them, even though they couldn’t physically be any closer. Erika could feel the sense of dread radiating off of her husband. It was like the heat waves bouncing off of the Earth. Deadly in its own way. She turned her eyes to the sky. Millions of billions of bright lights flooded the sky, each one a night light guiding someone home. She knew that bright white was creeping up from behind as the sun made its morning preparations. “What a waste of a night sky,” Erika muttered. “Do you remember,” a cheeky grin etched onto her face. “That one night that we went down to the parking lot of our apartment building and just danced under the stars?” “Of course,” Russell responded. He chuckled, a sweet sound that hadn’t been sung in too long. “It was the night I knew I wanted to marry you.” “The stars looked as bright as they do tonight.” “It was a blackout, of course they did.” Erika sighed, “Do you think, when we get to space, we’ll be able to dance with no gravity?” She laughed, imagining what it would be like to dance on air. Russell didn’t join her, and the dreadful silence crept back between them. “You can sleep first,” Russell said. “I’ll watch out.” And just like that, the discussion was over. ___ They started just before sundown. The land was flatter farther into the desert, closer to how it was where they started.. A paper map in hand, he navigated through the sea of sand, avoiding zombies whenever possible. The zombies had become the least of their worries, with food and water topping them. However, it would be a problem if one managed to rip open one of their suits. Erika shuddered. Thoughts of her skin boiling in the intense temperatures made her stomach do loops, but they didn’t seem to want to go away. However, they were still at least three days away from the shuttle. Russell had reassured her that the shuttle wasn’t leaving until after they’d get there, but things always changed. With the way the world was, it seemed like they wouldn’t hesitate to send off their first test group. “They need a few days to train people,” Russell had said. “Not everyone is as familiar with space travel as us.” Every time he said that, Erika felt something poke into the back of her mind. Suddenly, Erika stepped her foot down but it fell a lot more than she’d anticipated. The rest of her body propelled forward, throwing her onto her hands. She whipped her head around to see what she stepped in to find that her feet were completely buried in sand that pulsated every second. “Erika!” Russell exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down. He was already almost knee deep. The two made eye contact with each other before hastily tossing their backpacks to the side. The tanks were connected to their suits, so they couldn’t toss them to be lighter. Erika watched as her backpack landed on what was obviously solid sand before turning her attention to her sinking feet. Quicksand wasn’t deadly if dealt with correctly, but even still she felt panic rising within her. Slowly, but surely, she directed Russell on how to step up with his feet. She did her best to roll over onto her back and make it so that she could be upright. It felt like hours. Maybe it was. The task was brutal, made worse by her instincts screaming at her to go as fast as possible. Finally, they made it over to solid sand again. Out of breath, the two shared an embrace. Erika went to grab her backpack and put it back on. When she looked back at Russell, he still didn’t have his backpack, and his face had gone a pale shade of it’s normal hue. “Honey,” Erika began, keeping her tone as calm as possible. “Where’s your backpack?” Russell didn’t answer, but turned his head back towards the quicksand pit, illuminated now in the moon’s pale glow. Erika felt a tremor through her body. There was at least another week’s worth of food provisions in that backpack, but worse, the map was now lost. If they used her food they could make it through the three days, but what if they got lost? There had only been one map and Russell had taken it off the body of their driver. Erika’s hands were shaking. Her throat felt as if she had swallowed a mouthful of sand. There was nothing left but hope. Hope they were going in the right direction. Hope that the food would last. Hope that their suits wouldn’t malfunction. Hope that they would make it out alive. ___ So far, the food had been lasting, but the zombies seemed to be more aggressive as the temperatures increased. The stars had served as a decent map, but they weren’t a guarantee. With each passing day, the void of silence grew greater between them. They went almost whole days without speaking. It worked to preserve water, but Erika could feel the distance. Russell walked several feet ahead of her, his eyes darting around.. Always watching. Erika didn’t even try to keep up with him anymore. Whenever they hit a sand dune, they’d redirect to the main path. One time, they reached so far up a dune that they couldn’t see the path anymore. That was when Russell had said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can get you there.” Erika scoffed, “That’s silly. We’re doing fine, and it’s not like they’ll leave, right?” “If our truck didn’t make it they’ll assume we’re dead,” he shot back. She tried to keep herself composed, but her own doubts clung to her like a child to its mother’s leg. “We’ve done everything right,” Erika said. “Maybe they’ll even send out a search party for the truck. They have our identifications. They gave us the tickets!” Russell went silent. “They do know what we look like, right? They know who we are.” Erika was struck with a sudden realization that hurt worse than the heat and the hills. “How did you really get these tickets?” she demanded. Russell then reluctantly told her a story different than the one he’d told her originally. That he’d lied about getting them in a raffle, but stole them from a coworker. “He left them lying around in the locker room after we were training in our suits,” Russell explained, his voice quiet. “He has a wife, but I know he hasn’t been a good husband to her. He’s not even that great of a guy at work! You know. You saw what he was like at the Christmas party.” “So I know him?” “He didn’t deserve it!” Russell exclaimed, gesturing with his hands. “Of all of the people on Earth he did not deserve to go.” “But what right did you have to choose that, Russell?!” Erika screamed, she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. “What makes us deserve it more than anyone else?” Silence. Erika sighed. “It’s not like it matters that much, right?” Her voice had returned to normal. “It’s just a test after all.”” Russell didn’t respond. A sob escaped from Erika’s mouth as all of the stress she felt boiled over, worsened because she knew. She knew that this couldn’t be just a test run. The way everyone rushed the process along- Ugh! That’s why they packed up and left the very day after Russell had supposedly “won” the tickets! As each piece of the puzzle came together Erika sobbed harder and harder.. She didn’t care how many zombies heard her. She didn’t care how dehydrated the taste of her tears would make her. There was an absent presence inside of her soul that made it hard to stand up and keep walking. Hope had been lost. ___ They’d lost time during the fight, but not too much. Erika’s feet dragged deep gashes into the sand, the weight of the only task pushing her forward. “We should get there within a few days,” Russell said, his voice warm. His eyes drooped, with exhaustion or a looming sadness Erika couldn’t tell. She didn’t care anymore. The man she knew would never hurt a soul to get ahead. Why did he do it? The sun began to peek it’s head above the horizon, bringing greater heat with it. Erika welcomed the pain as long as it kept her distracted. Soon, they would need to take shelter. Her eyelids grew heavier as they marched on. A large mass suddenly stopped Erika in her tracks. She stumbled backward to find that Russell had stopped moving, and was standing cold and frozen. The road dipped down into a valley, one that was cluttered with zombies packed together like sardines. They could make it around, just like all of the other hoards. Just... Bigger. Inch by inch, the pair made their way to the left, staying as far away as they could. Minutes felt like hours as the sun climbed higher and higher into the sky. Beads of sweat beat down Erika’s forehead, though her suit sounded like it was a dying cat as it worked to keep her cool. A quarter around. Halfway around. Three quarters around. Inches from a straight shot away from the zombies. Then, it happened. One tank, or both, let out a sound so loud that the moon could hear it. In an instant, Russell snatched her hand and dragged her after him. Erika didn’t dare look back out of fear for what she would find. Even after days of walking they could outrun the stumbling gait of a zombie. At least, that’s what Erika told herself. It was impossible to know who stumbled first, but one of them tripped. Russell snatched the knife from his boot and pushed Erika ahead of them. Erika couldn’t hear the moans behind her anymore, but they kept running. Erika turned her head to look back at Russell as they made their way up a dune. She got to see the horror in his face as she tripped and rolled all the way down the hill. When she finally stopped, her head ached, and she could hear a hissing noise from her back. That was the least of her worries as a moan sounded out to her right. Her heart stopped and in an instant she was tangled up on the ground with a zombie. Her body writhed as she struggled against the slender figure. It stared at her with pupils so dilated they were barely visible. Its mouth hung open as it let out a snarl, flinging saliva onto her helmet. With a mighty heave, she flung the zombie off of her just in time for Russell to finish it off. The relief was short lived as another zombie came up behind Russell. He sliced and kicked at it, but it seemed like it was stronger than the others. Erika managed to get up on her feet, but her head spun as soon as she stood up straight. Her vision blurred and her stomach heaved. She could barely make out Russell struggling against the zombie. She stumbled towards him, moving slower than the zombies. Her heart plummeted when she watched the zombie push Russell over, throwing itself on top of him. Panic vibrated through Erika’s body. She mustered all the strength she had left and launched herself at the zombie. They rolled off away from Russell, Erika managing to stay on top, holding down the writhing, disgusting being. Erika caught a glint of something in the sand. Russell’s knife. Without hesitation, she grabbed for the knife, digging her knee deep into the zombie’s hip. She raised her arm, knife in hand and, her heart thumping loudly in her chest, did what she had to do to survive. ___ Erika threw herself off of the body as soon as it stopped moving. Out of breath, she scurried across the sand to Russell. His chest moved in quick breaths as he lay motionless in the sand. Her heart sank. He stared straight ahead, not showing that he’d even seen her. Beads of sweat ran down his face as he panted. Erika looked down at the suit despite already knowing what she’d find. Three large gashes had been torn through the front of the fabric, even going through his undershirt. His skin was flushed and turning pinker by the second. She could feel his body beginning to shiver as she clutched to him. She struggled to reach her water tank. If she could maybe douse him in water it would help. When she unhooked the tank, her stomach sank at how light it felt. In the side were several little holes, likely from her fall down the dune. “No, no, no,” she chanted over and over. Her hands were placed on the sides of her husband’s helmet, staring deep into his eyes, silently begging him to pull off a miracle. Tears flooded down her cheeks, dripping onto the inside of her helmet. The man she loved would be dead in minutes. No, worse than dead. Turned. And there was nothing she could do about it. As she sat there, watching in shiver in the sand, she saw one last thing. “I love you,” he mouthed, but it was the next word that struck her hardest. “Go.” ___ Erika arrived at the space center, panting and almost depleted of the resources she got from her husband. Her pain was quenched by her determination only to survive. She gave her ticket, and her fake name. They let her in without question.. As the sun came up, Erika stared out the circular window at the desert she’d traversed. All the miles she’d walked. The blood, sweat, and tears. The losses greater than she could have imagined when she started. She wanted to stay on that dune where her heart had broken once, but she really wanted to stay where it was broken the second time. It was those words echoing in her mind. “I love you,” she whispered into the nothing, the sound drowned out by the firing up of the shuttle’s engines. The shuttled propelled into space, leaving Earth behind, a shriveled up version of her former self.