text: The refrigerator hummed a happy tune of efficiency. Its various fans and coolants maintained its twin core temperatures. The fridge's cameras scanned, collected data and its scales weighed and measured. The fridge, in super modern dark-blue, knew the members of the family by sight and vibration. The fridge knew that six year old Jason liked to eat hot dogs more than anyone else in the family. The fridge knew that Mark, a work from home lawyer, always drank a single beer with dinner. The females of the house were also tracked. The fridge knew that Dr. Susan Carson was always at home between six and nine but rarely home at any other predictable time. Abbey, the four year old, had only recently started opening the refrigerator doors. The fridge couldn't yet create a pattern for Abbey because she grabbed food items at random. The fridge tracked the current level of everyone’s favorite foods in the house. At least once a week the fridge would text the Carson parents with requests to replenish the fridge's contents. If one of the Carson parents accepted a shopping list complied by the fridge then an order would automatically be placed with the appropriate online vendors. A truck or bicycle would be dispatched to the house to deliver the groceries. Modern builders allowed for secured outward opening exterior fridge doors on the side of the house. Through these insulated doors vendors could replenish the dietary requirements of the Carson household from outside. Which is how the fridge ensured the Carsons always had their favorite foods available. When family members use the fridge it would take pictures of the family members, per its factory settings. Mark had yet to figure out how to change this setting. The fridge displayed these pictures on its external LED screen. Often the family laughed at pictures of their giant heads leaned into the fridge to grab a drink or leftovers. The four year old loved when her picture was displayed by the fridge and would giggle and laugh at herself. On Thursday morning on her way to daycare, Abbey managed to smear cottage cheese across the main external camera that the fridge used to identify family members. The fridge had been programmed for this contingency. Its scales had a decent success rate at identifying users based on vibrations. The fridge’s subroutines alternately ran pattern recognition software that allowed it to predict when various household members would be most likely to access its interior in search of calories. Thursday afternoon the computer used scale vibrations and predictive software to identify one of its users. Every Thursday at approximately 1:30, Debra, a next door neighbor, used the fridge to access external, cold water. The fridge posted a picture of welcome on its screen showing Debra a picture from the previous Thursday. In the picture, Debra was wearing a cute, delicate, red teddy. At 1:31 the fridge’s external screen was smashed in and its French doors were thrown open. Using its internal cameras the fridge was able to verify that it had made a mistake. The user wasn't Debra but was instead, Dr. Carson. The fridge snapped a picture of Dr. Carson yelling into her phone.