text: I met Ben in the 3rd grade. His family had moved to town from out in the country. Their family farm had failed and now his Dad had taken a job doing waste management for the city. Ben and I had a slow start to our friendship. I had been at Alstonville Elementary since grade one and already had friends. Ben was the weird new country kid that everyone called “Hick” and no one wanted to be friends with. We met when our teacher Mr Granger made the class sit alphabetically by our last names. Ben Matthews and Tom McCormack, destined to meet. For the first few weeks of school we didn’t speak a word to each other. Matter of fact we wouldn't even look at each other. The silence broke at the end February. It was a Friday and I had slept in missing my bus to school. After a lecture about laziness, my mum begrudgingly drove me in. I got in to class as the bell was ringing and took my seat. Mr Granger starts the class by asking everyone to grab out their assignments. ASSIGNMENT!? WHAT ASSIGNMENT!? I had completely forgotten! We were meant to write up a two page story about our summer and it was due today! I was sweating bullets. Mr Granger started to go around the class. Starting at the front Mr Granger had each student explain their story as he collected their paper. The Bowman twins had both written stories about camping with their Uncle Tim. Jessica Clarke wrote about starting guitar lessons. One by one Mr Granger went through the class edging closer and closer to me and my shame. Lepowitz finished mumbling on explaining his story about horse riding as Mr Granger got to Ben Matthews. By this point my face was bright red and I was shaking in embarrassment. Then something amazing happened, a friendship was born. Ben Matthews, who up to now I had not said a single word to, told Mr Granger “Sir, Tom and I did our assignment together.” Mr Granger gave him a sideways glance. He asked Ben how we could have written about our 'individual' summers together. Ben didn’t miss a beat as he replied “Well our story is about a country kid moving to a big new town and not knowing anybody. At first the country kid struggles to fit in with the slick city kids. Until he meets a cool new friend in class who shows him around town. The two end up becoming best friends.” Mr Granger smiled at me as he took Ben’s paper. Hours later when the lunch bell rang I turned to Ben and I thanked him. I told him I owed him one and that he should come sit with me at lunch. By the end of the day, not only were Ben and I friends, but he also became quick pals with my other friends Keith and Jimmy. As the years passed the four of us grew close. We hung out with each other outside of school. We met each others parents. We avoided ever going to Keith’s house for dinner because his mum only ever made weird vegetarian food. One time we even stole a bunch of beers from Ben’s Dad and drank them down by the skate bowl. When High School came things started to change. First of all Keith’s parents sent him to a fancy private school on the other side of the city so we never got to see him. Then Jimmy started dating Jane. So he never had time to hang with us. For most of 8th grade it was the two of us hanging out between classes or at lunch. As we crossed into 9th grade I started to make some other friends. Kate my lab partner, Kyle and Paul from the school soccer team. Ben never seemed to have the knack for making friends. I started to spend more time with my new friends and less with Ben. Jimmy and I both still invited Ben to our parties. But he rarely showed up, always giving us some excuse about his parents not wanting to drive him. The 8th of June 2008, the middle of winter, my whole world changed. I knew something was wrong when my Mum and Dad woke me up together. I thought they might have found out about Paul and I smoking weed near the skate bowl. My mum had tears in her eyes and hugged me as I sat up. My Dad looked on worried and told me it would be ok. I asked them what was going on and my Dad broke the news to me. Three hours earlier Mr and Mrs Matthews woke to the sound of a gunshot down in their garage. Rushing down they found Ben slumped over in an old armchair. Mr Matthews shotgun lay near Ben’s feet. Ben was covered in a mess of blood. On the 8th of June 2008, Ben Matthews fired a shotgun into his chest and took his own life. The next week seemed to drift by in a dark haze. I cried a lot. My parents took me out of school and I had to see a therapist. At first I felt angry at Ben. I was furious with him. I couldn’t believe he would do this to his parents, to his sister, to his friends, to me. I was burning with rage the morning of his funeral. I was going to punch him in the face and scream at him for being so selfish. Throughout the ceremony I kept thinking over in my head “How dare he?! How dare he?” Ben’s sister bawled through the whole thing. His Dad kept it together well until giving Ben’s eulogy where he broke down. As the ceremony came to an end we were each invited to come to the casket and give Ben our last goodbyes. This was my moment, my moment to get Ben back for all the pain he had caused us. I approached the casket and saw Ben’s pale face frozen still. All the anger and rage in my heart disappeared. At the sight of Ben I was filled with a deep sadness and an intense love. Ben had been my friend. Ben was my friend. I broke down in tears, my legs gave out and I began falling to my knees when I was suddenly grabbed from behind. It was Ben’s Mum Lynnette. She was holding me. I turned and hugged her tighter than I had ever hugged anyone before. I cried into her shoulder as she held me. I sobbed deeply and all Lynnette did was hold me and whisper “Thank you Tom, Thank you.” Ben Matthews may have been a country Hick. He may have been a little weird. Ben might have struggled with making friends but Ben was my friend. He was my friend.