text: I have been working as a housekeeper in this hotel for almost 5 years now. This was the last room that I had to clean before my shift got over and then I’ll go back home to my son, I thought. Managing time between home and work is tough for a single mother like me. I feel like I am always in a rush. In a way this is good as I become more efficient and have fewer things to worry about. I stood outside the room and checked the sheet, to see if the guest had checked out or not. The sheet said that the guest had not checked out so I rang the bell. Nobody answered the door for 4 minutes, so I followed the general protocol and used the master key to open the door. As soon I opened the door, I smelled the smoke of cigarettes. The smell of smoke always makes me remember my time when I used to smoke a lot, drinking scotch and weed almost everyday. I slowly entered the room, and walked across the restroom. What I saw really shook me. I saw a man wearing a grey suit outside the window section, who I believe was about to jump to end his life. I was in room 503, which meant the 5th floor of the building. I quickly needed to do something. I said “Hey Sir, Is there anything I can help you with?”. There could have been something better to say at this point I guess. The man didn’t respond. “Can I atleast get your name?” I asked. “Robert”, He quietly said. “Any moment now..”. I moved close to the window section to look down, to see the height of the fall. The window section was directly above the entrance of the hotel and there were a few people standing there probably waiting for the cab. Probably that is why he didn't open the door as he would have been waiting for the crowd to clear. “I am Lisa”. I didn’t know what else to say. You don’t get trained for this while pursuing your housekeeping course. “Lisa, I didn’t want to put you in this situation. You can go out and pretend that you saw nothing.” Robert said. I could do that, I thought. But I won’t be able to pretend that I didn’t know anything and couldn’t try to save a man’s life. I needed to buy some more time. Get him to talk. I need to know him in order to help him. What has made him think about such a horrible decision. I saw a pack of cigarettes on Bedside table. I grabbed it, and found 1 cigarette in the box. I asked “Do you want to smoke your last cigarette? Might help you numb your feelings”. I took out the cigarette and lighter and went close to him to pass them. I saw his face. He didn’t look nervous or scared. He had a clear face with no expression at all. It felt like he was certain about his decision. He seemed hungover yet calm and was constantly looking down, waiting for his right moment. It felt like he didn’t like me for staying there as I was invading his personal space. I passed the cigarette and the lighter to him. He put the cigarette into his lips with one hand and his other hand was holding the wall. I waited for him to light the cigarette and his first puff. I then asked him “Why are you doing this Robert? What is making you do this?”. I waited for half a minute for him to say something. He ignored me as if I wasn’t even present. I tried persuading him saying “You know, the crowd might take some time to clear and you should smoke this cigarette to the last puff. So while you are here let's make this less awkward”. Robert took a deep sigh, looked up straight to the opposite building and said “A month back my girlfriend left me. We were supposed to marry this month.”. I remained silent as I remembered my own past. “I had so many plans for our future. The trips that we’ll go to, the house we’ll buy... Now everything is ruined.” he continued. Robert looked like a fine gentleman and I couldn’t control myself asking him “Why did she leave you?”. He smirked, took another puff of cigarette and said “I really don’t know why she broke up with me but all I know is she found a new guy.”. I believe people who commit suicide are somewhat selfish. They think about themselves more than others. How their parents and friends would feel when they hear the news. Sometimes, people should see their lives as third person, and analyze their thoughts and mistakes they are making. In the current situation I didn’t know what to say to him. Should I just ask him to “move on, you’ll find a new partner”, or “she was a bitch, don’t take your life for her”. I really didn’t know. I just went with saying “Life is full of possibilities Robert. You shouldn’t give up on yourself. Maybe this is not the end of the road. Maybe it’s the starting of a new road.”. On hearing this, he started looking down again. He replied “Maybe this is just my end of the road. I truly loved her. I believed we were soulmates and were going to live happily ever after”. Well, I find the concept of these soulmates truly absurd. These are just man made stuff like casteism, religion and others in hope to keep ourselves happy. As stupid as this sounds to me, it is manipulating a man taking his own life. Pathetic. I asked him “And why do you think she was your soulmate... your true love?” He said “It's not about what I think, It’s about believing. I felt special around her. Our likes and dislikes matched most of the time. Also people used to call us that all the time. That we are made for each other. A perfect couple.” I explained it to him saying “I really know how you are feeling. I believe this concept of finding one’s soulmate is just over hyped. These movies, songs, fairy tail stories corrupt our mind into believing them. They are to blame for all the heartbreaks and crying.. They are all just liars.. ” He interrupted me furiously by saying “Maybe you believe it's a lie because it didn’t happen to you. And how the hell would you know how I am feeling.” I understood his bitterness. It’s hard for anyone to listen to conflicting beliefs. Beliefs that we learn from our childhood, from our parents and society. Beliefs that are buried deep inside our mind and develop an idea of a happy and beautiful life. A similar thing happened to me as well, I remembered. I also had the same beliefs and believed that me and my husband will live happily ever after. I wanted to tell him that he is not the only one going through this. It happens everyday. Such beliefs which worked for someone may not work for you. Finally I gathered courage to tell him my story. I told him “Guess what! My husband left me, just after 6 months I gave birth to our son. I also believed that we are made for each other, and will have a complete family. But it didn’t happen.” He turned his face towards me and looked me in the eyes for the first time. I saw his forehead getting wrinkled as if he had a million questions for me. His anger boiled down and politely asked “why did he leave you?”. I moved close to the window section and glanced down. The crowd below had moved out. I observed his cigarette was half over too. I had to change his mind before the rest of the half got over. I told him “He found a new girl. A younger and prettier one. We were in love for 7 years. Well, I think so that we were in love.”. We were both quiet for some moments. I think he understood that we both are in similar situations but our reactions are quite different. Well maybe he won’t jump If I make him remember his loved ones. People who are worth living for, I thought. I said “You know, in such depressed times your loved ones can help you a lot. I had my son in my weakest moments. I had to live for him.”. I waited for him to talk about his loved ones. His family, siblings, friends, someone to live for. But nothing came out of him. I looked around for any note, that he might have left for his loved ones. I couldn’t see any such letter. Then I asked him “Usually people who commit suicide, write a note for their family and friends. Don’t you think you should do something to tell them that you loved them, for the last time.”. He slowly said “I have no one.”. I saw his eyes were watery. He was probably missing moments he spent with his friends and family. I asked “Not even friends?”. He said “My parents died a year ago in a car accident. All this time I was so much focussed on my profession and my relationship that I forgot to make true friends and spend quality time with my parents. I worked really hard to get my dream job you know. For 7 long years I worked there. And a week ago they kicked me out because I wasn’t performing well.”. I realized that we would spend most of our lives making money, having a good lifestyle, running this race with no finish line. Most of our time we spend to impress others, to uplift our social status. I told him “Maybe in the end it doesn’t matter on what you spend your life on but on how you spend your life.”. “I guess so”, Robert replied. I realised that all of Robert’s loved ones are gone. He is directionless and aimless. His pyramid of having a good life has fallen. He spent all his life making money so that he and his family would live happily. But when his family was gone, then he had no interest in making money. And now he feels worthless. Also, putting all this effort and facing a rejection from his girlfriend, has pulled him down further. I am lucky to always have someone in my tough times which wasn’t the case with Robert. I said “Before giving birth to my son, Zack, I used to smoke a lot. Almost a pack a day. After my husband left me, I got used to smoking even more. So much that 2 months ago I was diagnosed with lung cancer. And doctors said I have around 4 - 5 months left. So I just try to cherish each day of my life, as I get to see him growing up”. I realized smoking cigarettes was more or less like a suicide. A slow suicide perhaps. Suffocating myself in the smoke, so as to live the present and forget the past. Unknowingly I was also taking my own life. “How old is he, your son, Zack”, Robert asked. I replied “He is 3 years old now.”. Robert asked with a lumpy throat “What will.. What will happen to him, when you are passed?” I said “I have looked for some orphanages. I believe Angel Guardian Home is good.”. He asked “Shouldn’t you be spending time with him rather than working here?”. I replied “I want to make sure I could earn money as much as I can for his education and other needs”. I sensed his caring attitude towards my son. He took the last puff of the cigarette and started to put it out. I took a pause as I wasn’t sure about my next statement. I asked him, “Do you want to take care of him when I am gone? He is a very sweet child. Perhaps you won’t feel lonely around him”. He looked at me with tearful eyes. I smiled at him and continued saying “All you have to do is take the leap, either this side or that side of the window.” Robert looked down for a few seconds, and then at me. He looked down again at the disposed cigarette and said “It's quite strange. The cigarette which has almost taken your life, has saved my life.”. My eyes were full of tears too. He started slowly moving to the open window so as to come in. I was relieved. I said “Indeed. It’s astonishing”. He came inside. Took some time to clear off his tears. Still, I could see some tears in his eyes. He said “Thank you for clearing up my mind... Would you like to grab a cup of coffee ?”.