text: Alex sat back in her chair with a frothy latte, her head slightly askew, looking at her sister across the table. Serena leaned forward in anticipation; her fingers tapped the underside of the table. Alex said nothing. After a few moments of silence, Serena slouched her shoulders and bit into her danish. “Forget it.” Alex leaned forward. “You don’t understand-” “I do!” Crumbs flew from Serena’s mouth. “You don’t .” The sternness in Alex’s voice made Serena soften a bit. “She’s my mother too. I know how she can be.” “You know how she can be. I know who she is .” “She has problems, like we all do.” Alex looked away, watching as a woman and her young daughter entered the cafe. The little girl followed closely behind her mother as she asked a question to the hostess. They were led to a nearby booth. The child climbed onto the cushioned bench and scooted over to make room for her mother who sat beside her. The woman grabbed the menu and held it between them. She pointed to an item, at which the little girl nodded in approval. Serena followed Alex’s gaze before turning her sights back to the situation at hand. “Alex.” Alex was met with her sister’s begging face. “It’s just a birthday party.” “Serena, I’m not going.” “Fine.” Serena grabbed the rest of her danish and scarfed it down. “The whole family will be there; no one will miss me.” Serena didn’t respond immediately. She looked back at the mother and daughter in the booth. They were huddled together, the little girl enthralled with what the woman was saying. “I’ll miss you.” They both grinned at Serena’s saccharine statement. ‘If it’s ‘just a party,’ as you say, it shouldn’t make a difference if I’m there or not.” Serena threw herself back into her chair. “You’re so selfish.” “Anything else you wanted to talk about?” Serena didn’t answer. She stared at the ceiling as her eyes welled up. Alex scoffed in disbelief. “Oh my God.” “It’s fine, I get it. I just wanted everyone to be together." “I know, but I can’t.” “You won’t .” Alex didn’t respond; she flagged down the waitress and asked for the check. “Well, I guess I’ll let you know how it goes.” Serena defeatedly grabbed her things and scooted her chair back. Alex remained seated as she watched Serena stand up. “Are you staying?” “For a little bit.” “Okay. Talk to you later” “Okay.” Serena walked a few feet towards the door before turning around. “Please just think about it.” Alex nodded in agreement, keeping her back to her sister. ************************************ “Happy Birthday, Sissy!” Mary threw one arm around Barbara in the entrance of the party hall-the other arm clutched a huge box with a bow. The two embraced, joyfully lamenting how much time had passed since they’d seen each other. “Thank you. You look beautiful.” Barbara ran her hands up and down the sequins on the back of Mary’s dress. Serena watched her mother and aunt from the bar. Barbara led Mary to the snack table and pointed to where Serena was sitting. “Open bar.” Mary nodded with appreciation as she grabbed a toothpick full of cheese-stuffed olives. Barbara grabbed the gift from under Mary’s arm and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you, babe. I’ll go put this with the rest.” Serena watched as Mary chomped on the four olives she shoved into her mouth. She tip-toed over to her niece, giving her a hug and kiss. “How are you, beautiful!?” “I’m good.” Serena laughed as her aunt’s chin bumped against her neck while she chewed. “Where’s your sister?” Serena loosened her grip on Mary’s waist. “She’s busy with work.” Mary took a skeptical step back. “Not too busy for her mother’s birthday.” Serena shrugged weakly, Mary’s frowning face weighing her down. “She said she’ll try to make it.” Mary's smirk was indicative of her displeasure. “It’s her 50th.” “I know. She said she’d try.” Clearly disappointed, Mary turned and rested her forearms on the bar. “Could I please have a margarita?” “Sure thing.” The bartender promptly began working on her drink. “I should make it a double.” she mumbled to herself. “How’s school?” “It’s okay,” Serena peered at Mary’s side profile, watching her eyes follow the bartender from the dishwasher to a bottle of Patron. “You’re studying Biology?” “Psychology.” Mary threw her head back. “Ah, right. It’s Tony that’s studying Biology. You two should hang out more. Both smart. Both getting your Master’s.” “Where’s Uncle John?” “He’ll be here soon; he had to work late.” Serena nodded, unsure if Mary could see from her periphery. They watched intently as Eric filled a margarita glass and garnished it with a lime. “Here you go-what’s your name?” “Mary, honey, what’s yours?” “Eric.” “Thank you, Eric.” Mary grabbed her drink and gave Eric a wink before turning to Serena. “I’m gonna say hi to your grandmother.” “Okay.” Serena smiled at her aunt as she walked towards the sea of guests. ***************************** Three hours into the party, everyone who was expected to be there had arrived, except for Alex. No one was less than two drinks along, including Serena. Her restless anxiety transformed into acceptance as she sipped her third glass of wine. She was not the bridge that would bring her mother and sister together, nor was she the bandaid to heal the wounds created between the two of them. Committed to no longer being invested in a reunion, she chatted up Tony’s mother, Aunt Sadie, expressing regret that Tony couldn’t make it. “I wish we connected more, both of us being in grad school and whatnot.” She was aware that she was parroting Mary’s laments, but she meant it, at least in that moment. Sadie threw her arms up in defeat, a few drops of vodka spilling from her glass. “I know, he’s so busy with studying and his school friends. Don’t feel bad, I barely see him anymore and he’s my son.” Serena nodded that she understood and excused herself to go find her mom. Barbara was standing over her older sister Debby at one of the dining tables. “Ma!” Serena was drowned out by the music, but Barbara spotted her youngest scurrying towards her. She extended the arm that wasn’t holding a plate of salmon teriyaki. “Are you having fun?” Barbara wrapped her arm around Serena’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. “Yeah!” Serena spoke as loudly as she could while buried in her mother’s chest. “Are you?!” Barbara’s nose grazed the top of her daughter’s hair. “Yes, I am.” “Why aren’t you dancing?” Barbara sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe later.” Serena stood back to study her face for a few seconds. She pulled her mother’s plate close and grabbed a green bean, popping it into her mouth. Her mother smacked her on the butt as she twirled away towards the dance floor. Serena found Grandma Myra standing on the outskirts of the commotion, watching Aunt Mary and Uncle John drunkenly gyrate to the music. Their arms were entangled around one another, Debby’s legs rocking in place between her husband’s hips. They made seductive circles in place as she cradled his head in her palm. Myra shook her head at Serena disapprovingly. “There’s just no need for that.” Serena chuckled with sympathy at her grandmother’s discomfort. Seeing your daughter behave so provocatively was surely uncomfortable, regardless of her age. The party hall adopted an axis as Serena took another sip from her glass. She felt someone grab her free hand - it was Uncle John. Meanwhile, Mary grabbed Myra. “Dance with me, Ma.” Serena and her grandmother were pulled into the rhythmic mass of relatives and family friends, both immediate and distant. Uncle John removed Serena’s glass from her grip and placed it on a nearby chair. He grabbed both her hands and spun her around. “John!” Serena yelled as she became blinded by the strobe lights. Her eyes captured blurs of smiling faces and waving limbs. She commanded her feet to follow along and not lose balance. “Uncle John!” Serena pleaded this time. John slowed down but didn’t stop spinning until Serena was able to break free from his clutch. Swaying in place, she waited for her equilibrium to return. “You almost killed me.” Serena smacked her uncle’s arm. “Oh, I’m so sorry, please forgive me for the pain I’ve caused.” John teased. Serena retrieved her drink from the chair. She sat down and watched the dancing continue. John stepped in between Myra and Mary. “Do you mind?” Mary stepped aside, allowing her husband to take her place. Grandma Myra reluctantly gave John her hand-he immediately threw a hand on her waist, and expertly dipped her as though he were a ballroom dancer. “John!” John laughed and pulled Myra back up. Serena put her glass to her lips to hide her amused smile; she didn’t want to give John any motivation to continue torturing people. As her eyes scanned the room, a familiar face was briefly illuminated by the spinning ball on the ceiling. It was Alex. Serena almost dropped her glass. Alex walked towards her. As she approached, her lips seemed to say “Hey,” but Serena couldn’t hear. She smiled up at her sister. “You came.” “What?” “You came!” Alex threw up her hands, “Yep..” Serena’s heart swelled with appreciation. The relief made her realize how tense she’d actually been that night. She pointed at the dining area where their mother was still eating with Debby. Alex nodded. Serena pointed again, this time more eagerly. Alex put her hands out in front of her, palms toward her sister. She put an imaginary drink to her lips and made her way over to Eric. Serena watched their exchange in anticipation. After a few moments, Eric placed a Tequila Sunrise on the bar. Alex picked it up and raised it in Serena’s direction before taking a sip. Serena did the same with her wine. Alex let out a visible sigh and headed to the dinner tables. ************************* Barbara was sitting alone with another glass of wine when her glassy eyes locked with Alex’s. She set down her drink with a faint smile as Alex moved towards her. Alex took the seat next to her, setting her own drink down and resting a hand on her mother’s knee. Barbara laid her hand over her daughter’s, looking her over before pulling her into an embrace. Alex sat still in Barbara’s hug; one hand remaining on her mother’s knee, the other on the edge of her chair. Barbara eventually let her go, looking her up and down once again. Alex reached for her drink and took several large gulps. Barbara reached for Alex’s glass, but Alex pushed her mother’s hand away. She placed it to her lips again, this time taking a smaller sip. Barbara gently tapped Alex’s nose ring-it hadn’t been there the last time she’d seen her. She ran her hand down the highlights in Alex’s hair, and caressed the tattoo on her wrist. Alex removed her wrist from her mother’s grasp and picked up her drink again. Barbara didn’t intervene. She watched her daughter take a few small sips and set it back down. Aunt Debby exited the bathroom to see Alex in her seat next to Barbara. She walked up to her niece and squeezed her shoulder. They smiled at one another before Debby went to join the others in the dance hall. Alex looked down at the shoes she’d bought for her mother several years ago. Barbara lifted both legs to show them off, making her chuckle. Alex averted her eyes to the elaborate golden decorations that adorned the walls. Barbara pointed at the absurdly large ‘5-0’ shaped balloons taped to a corner. Alex widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows. Barbara snickered at her reaction. Alex’s phone vibrated on the table. She picked it up and read a text that invoked an exasperated sigh. Barbara watched her hastily tap away at her phone before tossing it back onto the table. She placed her hand on Alex’s back, making small, fast circles. Alex closed her eyes and took several deep breaths; they were caresses her mother soothed her with as a child. When she opened her eyes, Barbara was crying. She reached out and wiped her mothers eyes. Barbara went for her wine glass, but Alex pushed her hand away. Barbara sat back and stared blankly at her daughter. Alex took their drinks and walked to the bathroom, pouring them both into the sink. Barbara sank into her chair and stared at the bland eggshell walls that peeked out between the sparkly birthday signs. Alex quietly sobbed behind the closed door for a few moments before gathering herself and returning to the dining room. She left the empty glasses on the back of the toilet. Barbara was slightly startled when she felt Alex’s hand graze her shoulder. She looked up at her oldest child. Alex scooped up the air around her mother, raising her arms above Barbara’s head. Barbara stood up, and the two entered the party together. They waltzed to the middle of the dance floor, interlocked hands in the air. Someone placed a party hat on Barbara’s head. She laughed, causing it to fall to the floor. She accidentally kicked it away as she danced. Alex and Barbara rested their forearms on each other’s shoulders, swaying in unison. The lights obscured their view. Alex followed her mother’s lead. Barbara followed her daughter’s as well.