text: If there is a world where days of the week are human, Monday is an evil man. Bad to the bone. But at least he doesn’t hide it. You can notice it straight away. Right of the bat, you know what you are dealing with. Monday has issues and bullies others to compensate. Of course, that’s not the way he would describe it. In his world, he is the one who runs this show. Surrounded by timid sheep that can’t stand up for themselves. That is probably the most tragic part of his story. In his world, he is the hero. Poor Tuesday really got the short end of the stick. I like to think Monday and Tuesday are married. When they first met, Monday was a hardworking young gentleman with a head full of dreams. But he never pulled through and so today he is just a violent drunkard working a dead-end job. Tuesday’s reaction? Instead of kicking him out and looking for someone who keeps his word, she stays with Monday and tolerates his sorry existence. Quietly, becaue she would never complain to anybody. She sees him as a burden that she has to bear until the end of her days. She deserves the pain, everything is the way it has to be. Isn’t that how it works; Monday brings the bread to feed the family and that gives him the right to vent his frustration on his spouse? Thank God the children spend most of their time away from home. Wednesday is a strange one. Monday’s younger brother. He grew up with him, or better put, he grew up in his shadow, constantly being teased and picked on. He grew up and promised never to be like Monday. Ever. After finishing school he got a comfy job and... And that’s about all he has done really. He is not bullying anyone, true, but he isn’t doing much else either. Wake up, get to work, go home, wake up, get to work, go home. Rinse and repeat. But to be completely fair, there is one other thing he does. He daydreams about Tuesday all day long. About how with him she could finally be happy. About how he would never hurt her. He can’t understand how she is still married to that bum. But he isn’t going to do anything about it, no. Monday terrifies him. At the end of the day, it is not worth leaving his warm bed and risking a broken nose or tooth or even both. The truth is, he can’t even fight. He grew up a phlegmatic and a pacifist. The worst combination. It’s a shame. Tuesday would leave with him in a heartbeat, if she even knew what he felt towards her. Now, the eldest son of our couple is Thursday. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. On top of that he also got his mother's wits. That makes him maybe even worse than Monday. His pretty face allows him to talk his way out of any trouble. Nobody would suspect him to do anything. Meanwhile, he is stealing money from his mother's purse and seducing young girls that don’t know any better. He feels like he can get away with anything and he is getting bolder and bolder. He is friends with all and he ends up betraying most. That little bastard. One day it will all catch up to him. One day soon. Hopefully. Friday has got it figured out. The second son ran away from home as soon as he could. He is a good kid and he treats everyone, himself included, well. Sadly, not even he could escape his father’s lousy curse. Friday never knows when to stop. He always takes it too far, and that includes his drinking habits. So when he is not wasted, he is a good kid. But usually, he is wasted. Maybe that’s the reason he is buried in debt. He is tired of it all. And who wouldn’t be tired with such a family behind them? Time to time he is toying with the thought of ending it all. The best our calendar family has to offer is Saturday. Kind, open and fearless. She knows what she wants and she goes and gets it. But that also means she is never satisfied with anything. She thinks she could do better, she thinks everyone could do better. I just hope she settles down and finds peace of mind before the obsession with flawlessness sends her to an early grave. The only one left is Sunday, but I don’t feel like talking about Sunday. I don’t like it, I don’t want to think about it. Let’s just say that Sunday is a bitch. That has to be enough. \ H.