text: I awoke in a void, the cold floor under me had seemingly no texture, the flatness of my surroundings was like something I had never experienced. Where was I? I hadn't fallen asleep here, was I dreaming? As I looked around the immense nothingness of the void began to be clear. I instinctually looked for a wall, a tree, any structure that could grant me some kind of perspective. My brain had never been so loud yet so empty, screaming at me to figure out what this place was, soon it would be answered. &#x200B; After a while of spinning around, searching, I spotted something, a phone box. The box had cabling upwards, seemingly to the endless beyond. An object had never demanded such attention, the only colour other than white stretching for what felt like lightyears. I had to go inside. &#x200B; While my box did not bring any answers to what was happening it did finally bring some much needed safety. Just as I began to calm however the phone rang, not knowing how to react I froze, staring at the phone like it was some deadly predator. After about 40 seconds I picked it up, if only to stop the harsh ringing that was deafening compared to the silence of this place. &#x200B; Not knowing what to expect from the other side I moved the phone to my ear, staying as quiet as possible, not out of choice but out of some primal urge. On the other end of the phone I heard a seemingly bored customer service voice “Hello, welcome to purgatory, may I take your name?”I was stunned, I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to think. Purgatory? I'm in purgatory? How can that be possible? “Hello? Are you there?” &#x200B; “Y-yes” I said out of impulse &#x200B; “Could I have your name please” the voice was more rude this time &#x200B; “Y-yes, Im Tyler, Tyler Miller” I barely going above mouthing my words, unsure if they would even be heard by the only other thing sharing my void &#x200B; “Ok tyler, you are dead” hearing them say that almost broke me, my thoughts getting louder than they had been when I woke up. I had so many questions, but was so stunned I could barely control my mouth enough to breathe. &#x200B; “Im dead?” I blurted out, the thoughts in my head overpowering the voice that had not stopped talking for a moment &#x200B; “If we could please leave questions for the end” it said, disgruntled “as I was saying, god is very busy at the moment and doesn't have time to review your life as they normally would, we are going to need you to do it for them” &#x200B; “M-me? I need to review my life? What does that mean?” I whimpered, slowly gaining my ability to talk again &#x200B; “It will all be fairly straight forward, just review everything honestly and you’ll end up in the right place” &#x200B; “Place? What place? Whats going on? Please talk to me” I pleaded, the voice was having none of it “I’ve given you your instructions, please now leave the phone box” it stated, before the line fell silent. Terrified I tried to do what it said, the moment the box left my sight it was gone, I thought I would never see it again &#x200B; To replace the box was a few things; a desk, it was fancy and wooden, a stool, it was leather, and a fountain pen. It was probably the nicest set of objects that I had ever been left alone with.I walked towards it admiring the beauty in each object before noticing the latest in the growing list of horrors this place had to offer me. Paper, multiple huge stacks of paper, in awe of it's immenseness, as I gazed upon it a single sheet of paper flew down and landed perfectly on the desk, I froze before inching towards the desk, never breaking eye contact with marvel of paper that lay just metres away &#x200B; The paper had a table on it, a table with worryingly simple headings. “Date and time, Action/thought, Description” As I further scanned the paper I saw checkboxes labelled “morality” with 3 options “good, neutral, bad” . It slowly dawned on me what I needed to do, not that it made sense to me. The idea that everything I have ever done or thought could be lumped into “good, neutral, bad” like that was terrifying and felt wrong, but what choice did I have? &#x200B; I sat down and began to read beyond the headings, each row bringing new horrors, it started at my death, allowing me to piece together what had happened, and how it was my fault. A selfish action I had taken to escape the horrors of life, unaware that they would lead me to the new horrors of death. As I finished the first page the paper once again flew away, starting a brand new pile on the other side of the desk, a pile that would soon be just as large as the pile I was working through. &#x200B; As I went through it things got worse and worse. My actions and inactions that I had justified to myself laid bare for the only audience that did not want to see it. The people I had hurt, the people I had burdened, and the few I had helped too little. Very few lived better after me, fewer still allowed their pity on me to waiver. That was clear to me now. What was clearer was the lack of care for them. thoughts about me were unumberable, even thoughts about others were seemingly tainted by how it affected or looked for me. Worse yet, thoughts of me were not positive, I was not being self indulgent in my life, constantly high on my own worth. I was instead busy lamenting it all, complaining about the problems I caused and would not allow others to fix. &#x200B; As I got further into my youth things became easier to excuse. It made the moment to moment marking easier, but my overarching feelings grew worse and worse. I had become this, I had allowed this monster of self pity and inaction to appear through self pity and inaction. Perhaps given a worse youth I could blame, I could point at someone else and say they caused this. &#x200B; For the first time I was forced to truly reflect on my actions, with no distractions, nothing help me hide, nothing I could do to simply wait out tomorrow, I sat in a void of nothingness to reflect on the nothingburger that was my life, a pointless endeavour of torture and lack of fufillment. But it was ok, I was halfway there, with the paper stacks matched in height I could see the end &#x200B; With the shock of my worst qualities coming to an end and an uneventful childhood beginning I began to cry, not about going to hell, that would always be difficult. I cried about deserving it. I cried about everything I had done up to that point, it started as a whimper, but soon I could not contain myself, the paper seemed immune to my tears, not even letting them land and instead absorbing them into itself. I guess that was lucky, I would have cried myself to escape if the paper had allowed it. &#x200B; By the last few sheets I could barely think, my head was clouded with emptiness, luckily I didn't have to think much anyway, baby me didn't do much to warrant thought. As I finished the last sheet I heard a noise behind me, it was the phone box again, I began walking towards it faster this time, though just as scared. Before going inside I had one last look behind me, my workspace had already vanished, I had no choice but to face it's consequences &#x200B; The voice started talking as soon as I picked up the phone, I barely had time to put it to my ear “Hello again Tyler, Im reading through your review now”. It said, I closed my eyes ready to cry, but I was already out of tears. &#x200B; “Did I do it right?” I whispered &#x200B; “Oh yes, perfect in fact, it says here you wasted your life” I wanted to hate the voice, all I could do was agree with it &#x200B; “Y-yeah, I guess” &#x200B; “Well I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet but, if you were waiting for hell you’re already here” my heart froze more realisations to add to this awful place &#x200B; “But, but I just finished” I whimpered &#x200B; “Correct, however what you just finished was your own personal little hell. Regular torture never seemed to truly work on you, you seemed disinterested. But you? You could torture yourself better than me or any other demon ever could, we didn't even have to lie to you about who you were” &#x200B; “You're lying!” I yelled, my tears finding their way back to me “You’ve got to be lying to me, that wasn't me, I'm not them. &#x200B; “But you are, and you can never change that” I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say, I was petrified, I asked the only thing I could think &#x200B; “What happens now” I cried &#x200B; “Now we start again.” &#x200B; Suddenly the box disappeared, I was alone again, but there wasn't silence. I could hear screaming in the distance. it got louder and louder. It was my screams, it seemed impossible. Just as the screams were building, the space around me got cold and windy. I began to lose my balance. The bright white all around began going out and becoming blackness. The scream, the wind, the darkness, they all approached, they engulfed me one by one, “please!” I yelled, crying more than I had ever cried before, “please help me”.