text: I sipped on the straw of my diet coke nervously as I took a bite out of that wonderful bit of cheeseburger. Every bite of it was like paradise, I swear! I could eat like maybe fifteen of this everyday and not get fed up at all. That’s how much I really liked it. I had been sitting here on my own for about ten minutes now as Bert went to the bathroom again to relieve himself for the fifth time. It could have been a bad case of dysentery, although I couldn’t image why that would happen. He hadn’t taken anything else other than a bottle of mineral water. Either he’s got severe diarrhea, or he could be plucking up the courage to speak for himself so that he could finally break up with me. I sighed deeply. And to think that I was having a rather nice time today! Bert and I had been together for five years now, and for the very first time, my lazy ass of a boyfriend had suggested that we take a sudden out of town trip this weekend. We drove fifteen miles just to get to this province, and we fell in line for about half an hour to get a bite at this posh-looking restaurant. As we neared the entrance to this building, my jaw dropped. I knew this place! I have never been in this province before, and I had never heard of this restaurant, but I am certain I have seen it! I am not the type of person who liked to experiment and go to places, so it was nearly impossible that I had been here, but I am certain that I have entered it before. As I began to recall why this place looked super familiar, I remembered the dream that I had days ago of going inside a high-class restaurant with Bert. Hell, I even laughed at it, knowing how my stingy boyfriend won’t even spend a dime just to get me an expensive anniversary gift let alone treat me into a place like this! However, here I was in the flesh at the restaurant I could only glimpse at when I was in dream land. I knew that the walls inside are teal and that there is a big mural with cats on the left side of this place. Gosh, I knew in my guts that even the restrooms here have scented, plastic flowers on its walls! No wonder Bert was spending a lot of time in the restroom... I gasped as soon as I entered. I was damn right! The walls and decorations were all the same. Seeing all these familiar sights was a sort of creepy but pleasant déjà vu. Bert chose a table overlooking the sea at the back part of the place while I continued to marvel at this seemingly happy miracle. So, I guess this good feeling that I had about this place would all be ruined if he would dump me right here. He had been having gas for like forever now. Bert should just get it out in his system if he seriously wanted his suffering to end. Before I took in another bite out of my sumptuous burger, an attractive-looking young man, probably in his early twenties, walked towards our table. His neon green Hawaiian shirt and long, khaki pants did not seem to match his tentative swagger as he edged towards me. He was looking quite strangely at me, as if I was some kind of angel. He sat down rudely from across me at the seat that was meant for Bert. “Excuse me,” he said with a voice that sounded like he was choking away some tears. “What day is it today?” I pouted a little. What a lame pick up line that was! However, I didn’t want to be bad-mannered at all. Although I can’t explain why, he does look somewhat kind of endearing. “Um, it’s July eighteenth,” I said. I took a bite out of my burger once more. With or without a hunk in sight, I’d still choose to eat my burger. It was really a piece of heaven! “I see... Are you with someone?” the young man asked. He had wavy hair that parted in the middle, just like Bert’s, and he had a pair of cute dimples in his cheeks, just like I did. He smiled so warmly towards me that I had forgotten he was positively intruding my date with this delectable cheeseburger. “Yeah, my boyfriend’s here somewhere, I think.” “That’s nice. I’m sure you’re glad to be with him here. This is a lovely place.” “Uh huh, this cheeseburger is really to die for,” I said nodding my head vigorously in agreement. It was weird that I warmed up to him just like that. I’m usually guarded when it comes to any man but Bert, but this young man had such a nice aura around him that I can’t seem to dismiss. I looked at his chest and a trinket caught my eye. There, on his neck was a silver ring with a big, fat diamond in the middle. The ring was fashioned like a tiara, which I absolutely loved! I had often looked at rings like that in the Internet, and I would show Bert a similar ring almost every time that we were together so that he’d know my type should he choose to pop the question. I guess that would explain him breaking up with me, if ever. I must have turned him off with my not-so-subtle push for marriage. “You’re ring looks lovely,” I said to him. “Thanks. I am going to propose to my sweetheart today,” he replied. I felt a little sad with that. Here I was, positive that my long time boyfriend was just about to dump me, but here was a boy who was significantly younger than me, and he was going to do just the opposite. Really, how can this day get any worse? “Actually, this is my mom’s ring. I wanted to use it to propose to Suzy. Do you want to see a picture of her?” he said. Despite my grim feeling, it seemed I couldn’t refuse this young man. I smiled pleasantly and nodded towards him. He unfolded a small piece of metallic-colored paper and proceeded to show me a picture of a girl with violet, wavy hair. Her clothes looked so ridiculous - her dress, accessories, and shoes were all in unmatched neon colors, but she had a beautiful smile written across her face that made her quite breathless to look at. I could definitely see why this young man would propose to her. I gasped as I stared hard at the picture. Was it just me, or did the person in the picture seem to move like she was in some sort of video - but on a flat sheet of aluminium-colored paper? “She’s pretty, alright,” I said. Man, I must have ingested too much sugar already. How can pictures in papers move like that? I wanted to ask what phone he was using, but that’ll just make my ignorance more apparent. He’s obviously using a new kind of smart phone. Ugh, I really should catch up more on technology nowadays. “I know. I’m sure my folks would have been happy to meet her.” “Why? Is something wrong with your folks?” I resented saying that as soon as the words escaped my lips. Gosh, how insensitive of me! The young man started to look downcast. “My dad’s around, but we are not that close. Ever since my mom died of colon cancer, he had become an alcoholic. I was eventually raised by my uncle, so we didn’t get to bond so much.” “Oh gosh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I said. I remembered Bert falling into the same temptation - alcohol. He was also a man prone to bouts of depression, but thankfully, he was able to pull through it. I couldn’t imagine if that were to happen to me, to us. I’m positive my carefree brother, Rod, wouldn’t be able to raise our child well. “How old were you when your mother died?” “I was five, so I didn’t get to see her that much... I really missed her...” he said. Suddenly, he burst into loud sobs of tears, and I was so surprised. Me and my big, thoughtless mouth just did not know when to stop! I offered him my diet coke, but he refused. After dabbing some of his tears away, he said, “please take care of your health. Cheeseburgers and other processed food really do kill. My mother liked processed food so much that she used to stack the whole refrigerator with nothing but hotdogs and hamburgers for the week.” Holy cow, how did he know I was just like his mother? A classical tune came by the intercom of the restaurant. The boy stood up after he heard it. “Well, that’s my cue. I have to get back to my future fiancé now,” he said, beaming widely. “Alright, best of luck,” I said. “Thank you! Please take care of yourself, Emmerine...” Oh my effing gosh, I didn’t even remember telling him my name! I stared wide eyed at the odd, young man and scratched my head as he walked away from Bert’s seat towards the door of the restaurant. He stepped out into the sun and started to blend in with the folks outside and the numerous passersby until he disappeared from my view forever. I haven’t sufficiently recovered from this strange encounter yet when Bert suddenly burst in with a bouquet in his hand. Walking closely behind him was a bunch of waiters and other restaurant staff. One of them was carrying a violin and the others began to throw petals of red roses around us. I watched awestruck as he handled me the flowers and as Bert knelt down on his left knee and pulled a small, oval box from his side pocket. He opened it towards me and spoke. “Emmerine Santos, I’ve known you for a long time. Will you marry me?” The crowd cheered wildly at us, but my eyes were stuck at the sight of the ring that was inside the box that Bert was holding. There, in the midst of it was a ring fashioned like a tiara, its big, fat diamond gleaming malevolently at the very center. I’m so throwing all the hotdogs in my fridge and the remainder of this cheeseburger away forever!