text: The alarm went off and wake her. “Is it already 07:00?”, she thought as her eyes opened up unwillingly. Not that she had slept much. The nights seemed so shorter, now that she had to wake up early again. She made her way to the bathroom to wash up. While she was brushing her teeth, she noticed a couple more pimples creeping under the surface of her skin near her chin. Her acne had shown up a few weeks earlier, but it was a long time ago when it actually had started. Maybe junior high school? She doesn’t even remember. “Some concealer and powder will do it...”, she murmured, covering them up. The house had already begun to wake up too. The sound of the TV playing the morning cartoons and the smell of freshly made espresso filled the living room. “Good morning my little bunny”, she said, kissing her 5-year-old sister while she was still snoozing on the couch. “Good morning Alice”, the little girl muffled, before returning her attention to the screen. Her mother was sitting - as always - on the side of the window, smoking and drinking her coffee. Black. Alice couldn’t understand the people who enjoyed their coffee like this. She always had to add at least two tablespoons of sugar, otherwise, it would taste like poison to her. This time, she added only one though. She needed something stronger than usual to get her going today. “Good morning” “There she is. I made you a sandwich”. Her mother nodded to the kitchen counter, where a ham - cheese sandwich was waiting for her. “Thanks mum”, she kissed her cheek, “but I think I’m going to wrap this up and eat it later”. “Whatever you want my love. It’s a little chilly outside, so don’t forget to get a jacket” Alice agreed quietly, as she returned to her room to get ready to go. She loved them, but the truth is that she was tired of them. They were locked up for one year and half together and they were a full house: her little sister, Gracie, a hyper 5-year-old; her other sister, June who was in her first year of college; her mother, Analise, a woman who balanced work and family; and her step-father, Owen, Gracie’s dad and a goofy guy who fit in their little family right in. Oh and of course, their dog, Nova. Five people and a dog it’s not a small crowd, just so you know. Checking herself on the mirror, she muttered to herself: “Keys, money, phone, mask... Oh”. She doesn’t need that anymore. She looked her bare face and felt... well, naked. But it was stupid to wear a mask when she didn’t have to. “Just in case...” she murmured putting it in her bag. The streets were still quiet. It was the time right before the traffic began, when everyone was heading to work or school. Alice had to take the subway. She had a good one hour and two more buses to get to her university. Walking around on the open without her mask felt normal. She used to take long walks during the lockdown and she always had her mask down her chin. After all, the point of going out only for a walk was to get some fresh air. Although, when she got on the first bus, before the subway, the feeling of not having a protection on her was disturbing. “It’s fine.”, she calmed herself down. “I have nothing to worry about, the pandemic is over, no one’s wearing a mask right now, so chill.” Her thoughts were so loud, she didn’t realize that was her stop. She jumped from her seat and nearly made it through the closing doors. Once she was out again, she felt her breathing slowing down and her heartbeat steadier. But that was only because she almost lost her stop. Right? Entering the subway, a new wave of panic started to form in her body. She immediately put her hand into her bag, to grab her mask, but she stopped herself short, since no one else was wearing one. “This is ridiculous, I’m being hypochondriac.”, she thought as she reached the ticket machine. She took her ticket from the touchscreen machine and took a step back from the line, to get her sanitizer. The problem was she couldn’t find it. Not in her bag, not in her pockets, not anywhere. Her heartbeat became slightly faster and her eyebrows did that little frown they do when she gets anxious. “Hey, bottom line, I didn’t need that thing before this virus, I only washed my hands when I got home. No big dea- Oh thank god!”, she sighed inside her head as she teared open a wet wipe she found in her bottom of her bag. A train arrived in the station and she hopped in. As she sat, she couldn’t shake away the feeling she was exposed. She looked nervously around the wagon. She spotted an old woman and a middle-aged man were wearing a mask and she felt the need to do the same. “I’ll look really stupid to put on a mask now. It wouldn’t make a difference, anyway, I’ve already breathed the air in here.”. Her playlist did a good job of distracting her, while the train went from station to station. With her eyes closed, she hummed the lyrics of her favorite songs. Even though she had relaxed a bit, little drops of sweat had formed on her forehead. Alice only noticed, when she put a lock of hair behind her ear and it was damp. “Do they turn the heat up in here or something?”. Then, she noticed where the train was. Only in the middle of her route. Was it always that long? And was it always so closed in here? She had a long time to take that route. Things were a little easier for her classes last year. Yes, she missed the actual university, the large auditoriums and the last-minute coffee dates with her fellow students. But it was also much easier to wake up at 08:45 and have a class fifteen minutes later, in your PJs with a hot cup of coffee in your hands. Her thoughts took over again and she started to feel the air in the wagon fade away. Fortunately, she hid her mouth inside of her jacket discreetly and she made it to her station. She almost knocked over a poor man on her way out, quickly taking the stairs up. The morning sun hit her face and she took a deep breath, feeling her heart slowing down. Looking around again, she came to realize that the hectic hour of the morning had begun. People were going and coming her way, car honks fill the air and the only thing she wanted to do, was to put on her mask, because these people were walking way to close to her. Seeing a dozen of people wearing one, she put on her mask, shamelessly. She had one more bus to catch and she couldn’t get all sweaty again. The ride went by quickly, without any fear and panic. When she finally arrived at her university building, she went straight to the cafeteria to get more coffee. “OH MY GOD!”, she heard a familiar voice fill the room. She turned around to see one of her best friends running to her. “I missed this so much!”, Nadia squealed going in for a huge bear hug. “Hey little Scout!”, she exclaimed, returning the hug reluctantly. “It’s been so long. Videocalls aren’t the same with this.” She’s right, it’s been so long since they saw each other in person. They didn’t live close. In fact, they lived on opposite sides of the city and with the lockdown it wasn’t easy to meet up. They did it once, when Alice went over to Nadia’s place for a sleepover. It didn’t bother her back then, when they slept in the same bed or ate popcorn from the same bowl. Why did she get anxious about that hug now? “I see you’re keeping your pandemic habits”, Nadia chuckled. “Huh? Oh, yeah I guess.”. Alice had forgotten she wore her mask. She was so used to it; she didn’t even bother to take it off when she got off the bus. “Old habits die hard”, she mumbled as she took the mask off. “I get it, but it’s been two months without any sign of the virus, you don’t have to worry about it now.” Alice genuinely enjoyed hearing Nadia spiraling about the trips she planned to do now that they could travel again. She even thought of planning a trip of her own. It would be nice to get back out there again. To see more than her town and especially her neighborhood’s parks. The auditorium was full of students for the big announcement. Some of them were sitting in the short stairs sideways of the seats, some on the small spaces in front of the big windows and some were standing up. Alice’s heart warmed up a little, seeing familiar faces around the room, even though she didn’t really know them. Nadia nudged her to get closer to the podium, but she noticed that students were sitting really near to each other there. “Nuh, you go ahead, I’m good here”, she said standing up behind the crowd. “Fine, I’ll go further alone anyways. I’ll be right back after, don’t leave!” Alice smiled at her short friend making her way to the front. Finally, the dean appeared on the podium and addressed to the crowd. “Good morning our beloved students. It’s been a while since we’ve all been in here together and I’m very grateful, we finally get the chance to meet again in person. I know you’re all here for the announcement about your practice as a mandatory procedure to complete your studies and get your degree. I’m happy to announce that one hundred of you will get positions in institutions and clinics.” Whispers fill the auditorium immediately. “One hundred?” “Is he serious? Does he know we are six hundred that we’re waiting to get our degree?” “Great, with my luck, I’ll get a position in two years.” The dean tries to speak up from the voices. “Please, settle down. I’m aware that the number I’m giving to you, it’s not the number is should be. You should all be able to do your practice in the right semester. Unfortunately, even though the pandemic is over, the Health department is very cautious with the reintegration of their employees. They won’t risk putting more students in clinics and places where sick people could get sicker. For any other questions, please...” She didn’t hear after that. She couldn’t before the only thing she heard were the blood in her ears, buzzing like crazy. She stormed out of the auditorium without waiting for Nadia. She texted her she had to leave and she went to the bus station. She put on her mask without even thinking or questioning that action of hers. On the way home, the only thing she could feel was frustration. How could they do that? She already lost a year because of this stupid pandemic and now she might lose another one. Her body felt numb and her violent thoughts tired her mind. But at least she was wearing her mask, so she was safe at the time being. As soon as she returned to her house, June called her from her room. “What?” “Can you get me a glass of water?” “Dude, what the heck, I just came home, I’m tired. Go get it yourself!” “Come on! I won’t bring you anything the next time you ask me!”, June shouted as Alice made a way for her room. “Hey honey, how did it go?”, her mother stopped her in the hallway. “Awful, now for the love of God, everybody leave me alone, I don’t want to talk about it!”. And with these last words, she locked herself in her room. After fifteen minutes of crying, one hour of staring at the wall and a long phone call with her best friend, Alice came out of her room. She went to the living room, where Gracie was sleeping happily on the couch and her mum was watching her series without someone annoying her. Alice made a sign to her mum to scootch over and she slid next to her, putting her head in her lap. “Do you want to talk about it now?”, Analise softly asked, as she caressed her daughter’s hair. “Not really. I’m just really tired of this situation.” “What situation?” “The pandemic.” “But the pandemic is over.” “It doesn’t feel like it...”