text: From the Story Exchange on our Discord server. **Constraints**: Location: A space station, Word: Candidate, Character: The greatest mall Santa of all time, Trope: A scrooge-like character regains their holiday spirit, Character: A sentient reindeer, Location: A small town. *** #Joytown Filbert Filligree flopped into the fallen snow, anticipating his next few months of irritations. It was Christmas time, and all of the residents of Joytown would stop at nothing to make sure he felt their “Christmas spirit”. He rolled his eyes as he drove down Main Street. The tinsel and trees and lights were a harsh reminder of what he would have to endure. He then rolled his car as he skidded to a stop in a steep ditch. The tinsel and trees and lights were somehow tangled up in his dismantled fender. Townsfolk rushed over to see what had happened. They plied their holiday greetings on him like a gaggle of snow geese pecking at a crumb of wet, soggy bread. “I don’t need your well wishes, I need help!” he bellowed. “I know just what you need, actually.” Charity Chipperton exclaimed as he lay there in the snow drift. “Fine, whatever, just get me out of here,” he replied with a huff. “Ooohhhh!” she squeed, clapping her hands in front of her with glee. The townsfolk helped him out of the ditch, in the most irritating manner. They patted him on the head when he was free. Gilbert ground his teeth. “Now for your end of the bargain,” Charity said. “You’re seriously going to hold me to that?” he mumbled. “Yes! This will be the happiest Christmas ever. We’re going to make you the best Mall Santa of all time!” Filbert scowled at her as she dragged him away. “Now,” Charity said, bubbling with joy as she spoke. “In order to make you the best candidate, we need to turn that frown upside down! Who’s ready to make gingerbread houses?” “I would think extracting my car from the snow bank would be more important.” “Now, now, that’s not the holiday spirit our Mall Santa needs! Focus!” Filbert grudgingly obeyed, first building the gingerbread houses, then working through a Taylor Swift dance routine she had suggested. “I still don’t see why I’m doing this.” “Shh.” Charity placed a finger over his lips. “Just become one with the music. Our readers, I mean guests, will appreciate T-Swift.” They danced and pranced the evening away. By his fortieth try, Gilbert almost admitted that he liked the routine. There was something magical about the smooth beats and hip sounds of T-Swift, the likes of which he hadn’t experienced before. When the big day came, he rushed to claim one of the chairs lined up in a row. He was ready to become Joytown’s best Mall Santa. The choosiest of children would request gifts from the various competing Klauses. The Santa they deemed most real was the winner. Filbert bit his lip in anticipation. Sally Sallerson was the queen of the choosy children. She strode to the line up, all eyes were on her. When it came time for voting, all of the other children took her lead. She was the one to impress. “Nervous?” a voice beside Filbert asked. He turned to see a reindeer. He looked around for another source of the voice and the reindeer gave an exasperated sigh. “It’s me. You’re not dreaming, or hallucinating, or suffering the effects of some bad Christmas pudding. Believe me, I’ve heard it all.” “Y-you talk?” “I speak, yes.” The reindeer corrected. “What’s going on?” “Well the real answer to your question is that you are in a simulation aboard an intergalactic space station and being harvested for your human creativity, which is a rare commodity in the Milky Way. But that’s probably not what you meant.” “Wait, what?” “You probably meant to ask me why a reindeer is talking to you. And the simple answer is because you need encouragement.” “Well, yes, but-“ “So here’s what you’re going to do.” The reindeer leaned in closer and shared some of the secrets of confidence. Deep secrets. Secrets too amazing to write here. With his newfound skills, Filbert easily swayed Sally Sallerson and thus the entire horde of children. He was paraded through the streets as the newest, bestest Santa the town had ever seen. A little confidence and Christmas cheer had made him happy again. A quick mind-wipe later, and he forgot all about his simulated existence aboard DeepSpace 45, the galaxy’s foremost space station. You really should visit sometime. Their mocha Frappuccinos are excellent.