text: It's a cool Saturday night, I sit on my chair watching the tele as the last of the Doritos crumbs cascade off of my enlarged stomach. I'm a rather large man, light short hair with the inability to grow a beard without patches. I'm wearing nothing but sweats and a grin across my face from the last corny joke that was said. This is how I spend most of my nights. Some call it pathetic while I call it home. There is a knock at the door, somewhat startling but not uncommon on a Saturday night. Probably the college kids messing around again. I lived not far from campus and it was not unusual for them to wander into the neighborhood. Thinking about answering the door fades from my mind as I decide nothing will disturb me on one of my beloved days off. After a few knocks I can see the figures pass by the front window and back onto the sidewalk. Maybe it was the Mormons looking to "save" another soul. I decided I was not going to be "saved" during one of my favorite sitcoms, Besides I'm perfectly content. I continue watching my show until my memory fades. A few hours pass as I lay sleeping in my lazy boy recliner that I splurged for last month. My mouth wide open pointed towards the sky as I make Roaring snores, the last of which is Loud enough to startle me awake. I noticed the TV was still on, not odd for one of my days off. In Fact it's hard for me to think of a time the TV was ever off, I'm either in the room watching it, or working, but either way it stays constantly streaming. Suddenly without warning an ad break starts on the TV, not unusual for this network, ever since the ratings have gone down they have needed a way to keep funding up. The commercial is nothing unusual, a rush of colors and sounds made to gather the attention of the average Joe. As I watch waiting for the show to start something catches my eye. I suddenly spring into action, doing my best to grab my wallet and keys carefully laid across my Side table, often where I put them after getting home from work. I run to the front door throwing on my jacket and slippers nearly breaking my neck as I somehow manage to close the front door and sprint to my truck (refreshed after that tuneup I got last weekend). I get to the drivers side and nearly drop my keys as I slide into the velvety interior of my truck. too occupied to put my seat belt on, I slam the keys into the ignition, turn the key and my pride and joy comes roaring to life. I throw it into reverse, then shift to drive and head recklessly down the road. No one was going to stop me from trying the new Doritos locos taco....