text: The Devil is in the Deal Ralph Emery Barhydt September 15, 2023 “Jenna, please, don’t do this,” Gary was on the verge of tears. In fact, he was crying. He had been up all night and was exhausted, he looked like hell. Jenna didn’t look so good either. They were in their marvelous suite at a five star hotel on Tahiti. They weren’t really rich, they had just saved up a lot of money for that special vacation. They had flown to Tahiti in first class with upgrades from all of Jenna’s work traveling and Gary had tucked away a stunning, brilliant diamond engagement ring. He planned to propose to Jenna while they were knee deep in tropical water then take her to a fabulous nearby restaurant to celebrate their engagement. He thought about it, anticipated it during every single mile of the flight to Tahiti. He finally had felt that he was secure enough in his career, that he was well enough established that the promotions would keep coming and he would not have to be worried about layoffs. He saw a lovely house and two beautiful children in his future. Jenna had slept most of the way to Tahiti. It had been evening when they glided in to Papeete and Jenna was cranky. He was very excited to be there, could hardly wait to get off the plane. They could see from the gateway as they deplaned what a gorgeous evening it was going to be. That just amped up Gary a little more. The hotel was incredible and their room was, of course, sort of a hut standing over the water, large with beautiful appointments. Gary was thrilled and excited. Jenna was wary and on edge. After a few foreplay attempt, Jenna finally said, “Gary, I’m tired and just not in the mood. I’m sorry, this is a fantastic place and I know we are going to love it, but I need to go to bed. To sleep. The following morning, the two lovers woke up both looking like hell. Neither one had gotten any sleep and they were both afraid to look at the other. Gary had planned on proposing at breakfast but one look at Jenna made him think differently. Jenna looked at Gary and thought, “All I want to do is go home. I am sorry we have spent so much money.” Gary turned a very disappointed face toward Jenna and said, “I know what you want to say Jenna and I cannot bear the thought of it. I can’t believe that this is happening but I don’t have much choice do I? Wait, don’t answer. I am going to go for a walk. Why don’t you freshen up a bit and we can get some breakfast--assuming that either of us can eat. I’ll see you in about a half and hour.” He stood up and walked out the door. It was just another stunningly beautiful day in Tahiti. The water was spectacular; blue, clear, sparkling with the sunlight doing arabesques across the surface. Gary sobbed. As he was walking along, he thought he saw a second shadow besides his own. Sure enough, there was another human walking along beside him. At least he looked like another human. He was tall, gaunt, lean and looked just slightly off. “I didn’t think I would see you in the daylight,” Gary quipped. “Ha ha,” laughed the Other. “I am not a vampire you know. And that’s a fairy tale anyway. There are no such things as vampires. I should know.” “Well, that’s news,” responded Gary. “I will make a note of that and tell all my friends.” “I’m sorry Gary but you aren’t going to remember any of our conversations or interactions. Only exceptional people like Faust (or Goethe) remember. Gary, you are not on the level. But, it’s OK. I find that most people are better off not remembering me clearly; or, any of our conversations. I guess it didn’t go too well this morning, huh?” “You asshole!” Gary snorted. “Gary! My my. Calling me an asshole? That takes some guts.” Gary’s vision was blurred with a scene of a fire pit with humans rotating on skewer above a huge trench of fire. Most were screaming. Then, his vision returned. “I know I couldn’t feel any worse than I do right now, asshole. Take your best shot.” “Impressive, Gary. You see which one of those cabins is yours? Yes? Good.” The Other gestured towards the cabin and it burned in flames brightly and disappeared. “Jenna. No, no, what have you done? Please, please, take it back. Take me. Burn me to a crisp. Oh, please” “Touching Gary. You still think I am an asshole. Probably think more so now, don’t you?” “Please. Yes, you are an asshole and you know it. But, please, restore Jenna. Take me, burn me to crisp. Burn me slowly so you can enjoy watching me suffer. Burn me however you can take joy in my suffering, but please restore Jenna. She is too young, too beautiful, too wonderful to die now. Take her when she is 90 after you have tortured me for all those years. Please!. “Good, Gary. That was very good. I am convinced. Here is Jenna back.” He waved his right hand in a flippant little way and suddenly the cabin was standing back in place, lights. Gary started to run. “Wait Gary. She is there and she has no sense of anything having happened. Now, you and I have some negotiation to complete.” “Yes sir, thank you sir, yes, oh god, thank you sir. Yes, yes, what?” “Well, you are going to get Jenna. She will be all yours. I just want a simple favor in return. I will come to you someday and ask you for it. Good deal, huh? There is nothing you have to worry about, you get Jenna and I see children in your future. Someday, who knows when, I will ask something difficult of you. Capice?” “That’s it? That’s all. Are you telling me the truth?” “How dare you question me, of course, I am telling the truth.” Gary almost collapsed in relief. His eyes were full of tears when he ran to the cabin. “Jenna!” he cried loudly as he ran into the cabin. “Oh, there you are. Where have you been. I thought you wanted to jump on me. No?” “No, Gary. We have to wait. My parents are not wealthy, not even very well off. But they love me deeply, have loved me all my life and I love them. I will have to convince them not to spend much money on our wedding and to let us pay for most of it. We’ll get married in the small Lutheran church that I grew up in in Ponca City, Oklahoma. It will be a pleasant ceremony filled with love and joy and it will be as beautiful as it can possibly be. My parents are proud and wonderful, so it will be a little touchy negotiating money. I assume you are OK with us carrying the burden?” “God yes, sweetheart. Use all our money. Borrow more. Just marry me!” Gary was flabbergasted, but excited. “Let’s leave for Ponca in the morning.” Jenna laughed. “C’mon Gary. Let’s enjoy Tahiti. Have a few drinks, a little sex. Try to ride a wave. So, kiss me” The rest of the trip went well. Jenna was puzzled that Gary still seemed a bit on edge, but they had fun and a good time together. A few days later they were in Ponca City, Oklahoma. “Dad, we are eloping. Do you understand what that means? We don’t want a big wedding and we want to pay for it. We want you, all of our family, as many as Gary’s family and friends that can come on such short notice and share with us. Please let me have my wedding. It is exactly what I had always dreamed of. Getting married in Our Lord’s Lutheran Church by Father Richard is perfect. Please say ‘yes’ and be happy. I love you and Mom so much and I would be so happy with this wedding.” What could any father say? So five days later, Jenna and Gary were married in the Lutheran Church. Gary was not very religious so the only thing that mattered to him was that they were married. He did very much like Jenna’s parents and most of her family. She had one really obnoxious cousin. Both bride and groom felt like they had honeymooned in Tahiti, so they went to Mammoth Mountain for a couple of days and then, back to work. Life sort of just settled in. They started out with a decent apartment in Pasadena, had a baby girl and moved into the Valley. Both were advancing nicely in their respective jobs. Gary was working for Warner Brothers doing CGI stuff and Jenna worked for Playing for Change as their controller. Playing for Change was a non-profit so Jenna didn’t have much room for economic growth, but Gary’s career took off and he earned lots of promotions and was paid exceedingly well. A big house in Santa Monica that was just right for them came on the market and they bought it. It was all happening fast. Gary rose to executive vice president in just over two years. Jenna quit work to spend more time at home with their daughter, Cherise. Then, that Other guy showed up. Gary was in the backyard lumbering over the barbecue grill when the Other popped up next to him. Gary was startled at first, but then terrified. He knew that the Other’s appearance was bad news. He wanted to run, he wanted to vomit, he wanted to scream. He did none of those things and a singular calmness came over him. “What do you want?” “Nice to see you too, Gary. To the point, huh. OK. I want your daughter. She is about to be very sick and pass on. I would much rather have her soul than yours. Your soul is tired and pretty much useless. I can’t remember the last time you did anything noble---or bad for that matter. But Cherise’s soul is pure, rich and good, So, I will trade her soul for yours. You will get to live at least another 30 years. “NO,” screamed Jenna. She had felt something wrong and had come outside. She could see and hear the Other. “No, no, I will destroy you before I let you take Cherise.” “Ha ha, Jenna. How nice to see you. If you go back inside and check on Cherise you will find that she is developing a little fever.” “NO,” both Jenna and Gary screamed at once “Take Gary,” cried Jenna. Surprised and dismayed, Gary yelled, “Yes, take me. I was the original part of the deal. You can’t change that now.” “You agreed to do whatever I wished. You got Jenna’s love and thrived on it up until now. Now it’s time to pay for it.” “No,” cried both Jenna and Gary. “Take Gary, he made the deal, take him.” “Take me,” cried Gary. Suddenly, a little shimmer of light appeared. Two forms slowly took shape, much like two humans. “Oh no, not you two. Not again.” “Nice to see you again Luke,” said Gabriel. Michael was look somber but smiling. “Damn you, Gabriel. I told you to stop calling me Luke.” “Oh,” returned Gabriel, “that’s right, I just keep forgetting. I guess I just don’t like Lucifer, in name or in form.” Michael stepped forward. “Luke, guess what. ‘He, whose name can’t be spoken, disapproves of your actions here and forbids you to carry them out.” “Why, why? What does ‘He’ care about these two worthless humans. They have betrayed Him thousands of times, have contributed nothing to the welfare of mankind and only love themselves--and marginally at that. They are worthless and they are mine. And, you too Michael, stop calling me Luke.” “Luke, my man...” “Stop it, I am not your man.” “OK. You know how this is going to turn out. Save your self some agony and turmoil, and just go back to your hell hole.” Lucifer raised his right arm and start to curse. He was immediately bound in a golden chain, which glowed wildly for a second, and Lucifer and the chain were gone. Michael and Gabriel turned to Jenna and Gary. They had both fainted and were lying on the ground. “Wake them up asked Gabriel?” “Let’s let them sleep. They will wake up in the morning remembering this as a dream. They were headed toward a troubled life and Cherise was going to kill her husband. Now, they will love each other deeply. They both will appreciate each other far more than they ever imagined and Cherise will grow up blessed. She will make a real contribution to mankind.” Michael smiled and passed a hand over the unconscious forms. “Pax vobiscum.” He smiled, “I’ll put the fire out in the barbecue, our work is done here.”