text: The Archipelago publishes every Wednesday. See the pinned comment for links to the contents. \ The image of the man curled up on the stool stayed with me. He seemed exhausted in a way that I hadn’t seen anywhere. Like a prey animal, he had been told to keep running, to cling onto the instinct for survival. But drive only goes so far, and eventually he’d given up, lied down, and waited for the predators to feast on whatever remained. I tried to explain that look of defeat to Kurbani and Xander; how passionless his passion had become. “Even if you’re meant to be doing something you love,” I said with a shrug, “If you can’t leave...” “...the room becomes a prison and the passion becomes slavery.” Kurbani said plainly, absent-mindedly poking her breakfast. I gave a sheepish nod. “I’d hate that for Mirai,” Xander said, stirring runny eggs as though a vision might appear in them. “She’s got too good a spirit to have it used up.” “It can happen to anyone,” Kurbani said. “We’ve all only got so much to give. You use it up, you’ve got nothing left, even for what you love.” She picked up a morself of freshly cooked fish and swallowed it. It smelled delicious, but neither of them were enjoying their meal. Xander lifted his head back, letting the cool winter sun spill onto his face. “This won’t deter her that easily. She’s too strong-willed for that.” “Always has been,” Kurbani smiled with an odd pride. “You know, it’s your fault she’s so smart. She didn’t get that from me.” Xander accused, pointing mockingly with his fork. “Maybe. But her stubbornness comes from you.” Xander let out a small chuckle before scratching his beard. “True that. True that.” Kurbani placed her plate down in her lap and took a resolute sigh. “Ferdinand, could you talk with her?” My eyes widened. “Me?” She leaned forwards, emboldened by the idea. “Offer an outside perspective. You’ve travelled the Archipelago and know what it’s like to go alone and what the world can be like.” “So have you,” I said with a nervous laugh. “Yeah,” Xander lifted his chin. “But we’re boring parents who want to ruin her life.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a sudden heat despite the cold winter air. “You think there’s any chance she’ll listen to me, either?” Kurbani smiled. “She respects you more than you know. More than anyone.” “I can try.” “That’s all that we ask,” Kurbani smiled. I knew that I had to speak to Mirai. I owed Kurbani and Xander that much. But the reality was I was scared. After everything I had been through since Kadear, I shouldn't have been. My body was still recovering from the latest adventure: my legs still ached after the most basic of walks, and I still got pains in my kidneys from where the dehydration had left its mark. But those other threats, those mortal ones, they came to me. They made me respond. I could choose when I faced this fear, and that made me procrastinate and stew over exactly what to say. Two days later, the cowardice finally passing, and I headed to the shore to speak with Mirai. I decided I would catch her as she came home, away from the boat in an open space where private conversations weren’t overheard by default. As I waited, I watched the low sun skim across the seas and all too quickly dim below the horizon again. Boats came and went, each one failing to be the one I wanted to see. Alessia was out there somewhere. I wondered what the islanders of Vexids made of my idle waiting. Throughout the day, those on work shifts bounded by to meet with merchants or carry goods. Endesha was there too, striding with purpose, keen to share a little of the island’s history with visiting sailors. And amongst all the trading, and carrying, and talk, there was me. Sitting. Watching. Waiting. I wasn’t sure if they envied me, pitied me, or thought of me as some strange anomaly, a fascinating deviant whose inactivity could be gawked at. As dusk came I gave up waiting. The ships were beginning to blur with the clouds and waves. Patches of indeterminate blacks, purples and blues swirled like dyes, and soon, perhaps in my hopefulness, every cloud looked like a ship I knew. Instead, I waited by the cafe area to the side of the docks, sitting round a well-stoked fire that kept the sea breeze at bay. I practised what I would say to the flames, trying to work out what could possibly make a headstrong teenage girl decide her family were worth staying on a boring boat for. I was out of time to rehearse. At the top of the hill, I could see Mirai descending. Her walk was slow and meandering, shoulders loose and her head leaned back. I left the cafe and climbed up the hill to meet her, the winds now pinching as I huddled my arms around myself for warmth. “How was Charles?” I asked. She smiled. “Good. Been learning a lot.” She stretched out her arms. “Tired though.” “Even enjoyable things can be tiring.” She tilted her head and peered up at me, her eyes rolling back. “Yeah. There’s a satisfaction in being tired from doing good though. You know?” I nodded my agreement. The winds picked up and whistled around my ears, flapping in my sweater, all filling in the silence as I didn’t know what to say. “Do you mind me asking, have you thought anymore about if you’re going to stay?” She paused for a moment, a thought caught in her throat. She turned and stared off to the west. “It’s too far to see, and there are a few islands you’d have to sail around. But if you went dead straight that way,” she pointed over the small hill in front of her. “You’d sail straight into Deer Drum.” I turned to face where she was looking. “I didn’t know you knew your geography that well.” There was a slight shake of her head, not enough to dislodge the gaze. “I don’t. I just like to always know where it is.” “I’m sorry you all had to leave. I’m sorry that Deer Drum is a boat.” Another shake of the head, this one firmer. “This boat isn’t Deer Drum. It’s a lot of the same people. But it’s not Deer Drum. That’s what hurts. Ever since those bastards came to our island I’ve just been waiting. Waiting for things to settle down. Return to normal. And that’ll never happen. I don’t think dad or mum or any of the others ever want things to settle.” “Do you hate it on this boat that much?” “No. But it’s not Deer Drum. This place, those courtyards, it’s the first place I’ve been where I’ve felt... not belonging, but...” She grimaced, forcing the words to fruition. “At last, something felt right.” I didn’t respond. I just smiled and gave her room to talk. “I’ve just been drifting. Metaphorically and literally.” She let out a small spluttered chuckle. “For once I’m not. I have something to do, and I love it.” “You’re good at it too. I still remember the fish nets.” “Yeah. That felt good,” the corner of her lips uplifted with the memory. “But there’s way more I could do.” I swallowed. “Mirai, I know how much you love it here, and learning about engineering, but-“ “-a lot of the people are miserable?” She leaned back on one foot and folded her arms. She chuckled with a smirk. “Yeah. I’ve seen them too. I don’t want to end up like some of those people in the courtyards.” Another silence, this one filled by birds singing their evening song. Mirai turned, muttering to the ground. “Doesn’t matter though. I don’t think I’m staying.” Word spluttered from my mouth and I tried to hide my relief. “You’re not?” I failed. Mirai gave me a stern look for my unhidden pleasure. “This place is great, I honestly think I could make it work here. But... dad, mum, Novak.” She turned to face me at last, her eyes glassy. “I have to do what’s right for me, but that also means keeping my family close.” I smiled. “That sounds very mature of you.” She scrunched her face. “With everything that happened, you kind of grow up fast.” My face softened. “I’m glad you're staying.” “I hope I am too.” She looked up to the sky, then back to the ground, then finally back to me, a smirk on her lips. “I was chatting to Charles though, and I think, maybe I can have the best of both worlds?” “Oh?” She looked at the boat, her home, her lips curling with frustration. “I can’t just keep doing what I was doing. I can’t just keep babysitting kids. I need to make a life on that boat for me.” “And how do you plan to do that?” Mirai looked around at the passersby, eyeing up the porters and merchants, scanning every face. Her mouth opened, then closed again, puffing her cheeks. She looked back up the hill, and nodded for me to follow. As we walked the people and winds of the harbour were placed by nocturnal insects and the hum of factory machines through the nearby walls. “Can I tell you something and you keep it a secret?” Mirai asked. “Sure,” I nodded, trying to convince myself of the words. Her face was serious. She pointed at me as she spoke. “You’ve got to back me up on this. You can’t tell mum and dad.” I looked over my shoulder to the ship. A secret that would keep the family together. Xander and Kurbani would approve of that wouldn’t they? “Agreed.” Her posture loosened. “I’m going to stay, whatever happens. I can’t leave them. But I need something to not go insane.” A manic laugh escaped as she tilted her head back. “If it helps you stay I’ll do what I can. What do you need?” “I need you to convince my parents that you’ve come up with the one solution to make me stay.” “And that is...?” She opened her mouth to speak, but something caught her attention and lips wired shut again. Turning, I could see Sirad running up the path towards us. “Ferdinand! Ferdinand!” He stopped, panting. “Alessia. She’s back. At the quay.” I felt a jolt to my chest. “Mirai. We’ll do what it takes, but...” “Really?” She jerked a finger at me. “You just said you were going to help me.” “I will. I promise. But...” My head turned instinctively, I had to go. “I promise, we’ll speak tomorrow.” Mirai took a deep breath, releasing the tension in the exhale. “You’re right. This can wait. We’ll speak tomorrow.” I smiled. “Thank you.” Out of my periphery I could see that Sirad was still in hearing distance. “And... I’m glad we had this talk.” She smiled. “Same.” Nervousness crept through my veins as I walked back down the dirt path, my heart beating harder, as I scanned the quay, looking at the faces caught in the glow of the yellow lanterns. I skipped back and forth, checking sail patterns and trims of hulls till I saw a ship. Her ship. I followed the mast down to the deck, then to the jetti next to it. I saw three figures. Xander, Eir, and then, next to them... A smile crept across my lips and my torso flooded with warmth, as my arms twitched in anxiety. She was bent over, her whole body crouching down to the pavement, her face covered in her hands. She nodded, her hand slipping to reveal a wide grin. She shot up and hugged Xander tightly. He froze for a moment, then lifted his arms up and returned the hug. Alessia spoke again. Xander turned and pointed up the hill. She turned, staring in my direction but not at me. I started walking, trying to get into her eyeline. More glances across the crowd till our eyes met. She lifted her head back and mouthed something to the heavens, before she ran up the hill towards me. Her head hit my chest with force, and I wrapped my arms round her shoulders, feeling her hands squeeze behind my back. “I thought I’d lost you. I really did,” she muttered, her voice creaking slight. “Me too. I was worried about you.” “I still had the boat,” she chuckled dismissively. “But you, I saw you drift off on that crate. I thought you were gone.” We pulled back from the embrace. I concentrated on my face, trying to keep it calm, not allowing the smile to grow too big. “The crate floated past an island, and I managed to get to shore.” Her smile held no such reservations. She grinned so wide it threatened to swallow her face, her eyes reduced to thin slits across her brow. Her head lifted back, and she let out a sigh - part moan, part laugh, part exhaustion. Then she tightened her mouth and, outstretching a hand, smacked me in the arm. “Don’t you do that to me again.” She repeated the gesture with each word. “Next time look out for the crates. Be more aware of your surroundings. Keep a wider stance when you walk across a wet deck. And...” she let out a groan borne of feelings that had no words. “Thank God you are safe.” “You too. I saw that mast fall down and hit you. You fell off the boat-“ She shook her head. “I was dazed, but thankfully I didn’t drift far.” “I didn’t see you get back on board.” “Must have climbed up between the waves,” she said, biting her lip. “By the time I got to deck I was pretty dizzy and losing blood. Took me a while to get moving again.” It was only then I noticed, shadowed in the twilight, the large scar across the top of her forehead, just below the hairline. A strip where the skin was indented and pink. “Does it still hurt?” She pulled the hair back slightly and rotated her head, allowing me to inspect the mark. “It did hurt like shit. Now? It’s tender, but...” She shrugged. “You should see Eir. Get it checked out.” “Month old now. Ain’t gonna get worse. Besides, I’m a merchant girl, remember? I’ve had worse.” There it was again, that tongue caught between the teeth. I’d missed it. “What you need to know, is this is what I get for trying to save your dumb arse.” She pointed to the scar, and leaned it closer to my face. I shrugged. “I wouldn’t have had to cross the deck if you hadn’t broken your rope.” “Not my fault I’m trying to sail a four or five person ship by myself.” “And it’s not my fault I’m the only person who’ll sail with you.” We both stared at each other for a second in mock antipathy before more laughter crossed our lips, the moment too joyous for even sarcastic anger. She looked me over, inspecting my thin frame and sagging face. “Sorry it took so long to find you.” “It’s fine.” I curled up, scraggly arms crossing in front of my scrawny frame. Alessia didn’t notice, she was staring back at the ship. “I completely lost the front sail, and by the time I was on my feet, all the ropes were messed up. No steering, one sail, and no control. Just limped for a day-and-a-half till I bumped into another boat and could get a tow.” “How’s the ship?” “Got towed to one island, then paid someone to tow me to one where I knew some guys.” She rolled her head from side to side. “But we’re back to sailing.” “How much did it cost?” I stared at the new mast at the front of the ship, pretending I knew how to assess the quality of nautical craftsmanship in the dark from a hundred metres out. “Did they do a good job?” “Ferdinand.” She waited till she had my attention. “You have no idea how much that stuff I took from the ship on Yotese was worth, do you?” I looked to the side, avoiding the eye contact. A snicker escaped her lips. “Good. Let’s keep it that way.” She nodded at the boat. A different smile showed, one of a greater love than any human knew. “Let’s just say I could’ve got that entire mast gold-plated with change if I’d wanted.” “So what now?” I asked, standing next to her as we admired the new mast, rigging and freshly varnished wood. She let out a small uncertain huff. “I don’t like it, but...” “What?” “Day I’m leaving to come here, some guy approaches me on the quay, says someone’s been looking for us - you and me - and they need to see us soon. Told me to stay and wait here for them to come. Be about a week.” “Who do we both even know? Someone from one of the islands? Kedrick?” Alessia pulled one side of mouth back and shook her head. “They’d all say who they were right? Has to be someone who wants us to stay but worried we’d sail off if we knew who.” A name surfaced, I felt the frost on the ocean winds as I said it. “Sannaz?” She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe? I don’t know.” “But you want to wait and see?” “I want to wait and see,” she nodded. “We can wait a few days. What’s the worst that could happen?” “Sannaz finds what he’s after and ends The Archipelago?” I said with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah. But... apart from that?” I looked at the swirl of pastel colors on the sea, a brief silence forming between us for the first time. “Could Sannaz really be coming to find us?” Alessia folded her arms, and leaned her head towards me, the tip of her head touching my shoulder. “Honestly? I hope so. Because I’d really like this fishshit to be over with.” &#x200B; \ The Archipelago publishes every Wednesday. See the pinned comment for links to the contents.