text: It’s been over a year since this blob of fat and mass I’m forced to refer to as emperor abducted me from my home planet as a slave. Though at this point I’m more of a secretary. For over a year I’ve had to follow this manchild around, reminding him that, no, he can’t eat the natural wildlife, he’ll be late for his meeting and his entire planet will be blown up. Atleast this time it’s somewhere nice-ish. A couple weeks ago he and a large amount of kings, emperors and rulers of this sector were called to a secluded moon on the edge of this galaxy for a “business meeting of sorts”. This could obviously be a trap, but the sheer stupidity of such a request baffled even the wisest amongst these tyrants to a point where they couldn’t help but go anyway, like a personal test of strength We were met by a personal army strategically placed around a large mansion, though it was apparently empty on the inside. It didn’t take long before the place started to fill up with guests, at this point nobody knew who the owner was. The room started filling with annoyed complaints and the usual guttural noises of the different languages. One last person entered before the doors and windows shut. Then a large hologram appeared floating over everyone’s heads close to the ceiling, displaying black silhouettes that kept changing between the various species present “Greetings ! It spoke, changing voice with every new silhouette “Welcome to my humble manor, I apologize for the wait, way too many buttons on this thing.” The room was silent at the poor attempt at a joke. “Ahem, I’ve gathered you all here, tyrants, emperors, slavers and the like for a celebration of a single thing we all have in common..” A brief pause for dramatic effect “Strength, might, power !” The mood on the room was noticeably lifted, no surprise that these people loved to be complimented on their greatness “Now, we can all agree that whoever has it will always win, and to that I propose an alliance. Think about it, surely with all of these..” It seemed to not find a good word “Great..Minds ? Yeah, that. With all these *great minds* put together the cosmos will be ours to rule !” I had seen this at least two times in the past year. The first one to suggest such a thing was shot on the spot, the second got a bit farther, but the alliance was broken because of greed and lust of power. This was basically a waste of time. “I am liking these responses so far, as would be expected.” There was a sound as whoever spoke shifted on his chair “You all have so much in common, after all.” Unbeknownst to everyone there who were paying attention, the lighting on the room was getting darker and darker as great sheets of metal started enveloping the walls. “You are all hated people with an *incredible* amount of money on their heads.” These words awakened them to their surroundings. Panic ensued within the closed off manor, the men and armies outside must have been busy judging by the lack of efforts. The hologram finally settled on a single race, one from a terribly named planet. They were very close to the others in their planet, but something in their genes granted them the ability to think, to surpass the other species even though weak and lacking any notable physical capabilities. Their planet was never voted on being granted contact to other species like everyone else. They simply left their planet one day and are now among us. Nobody liked then, basically. One of the people there pulled out a gun, firing into the hologram, which fizzled for a bit before returning to its original state. As it did so, it revealed the face, or rather mask, of K’cid, considered the most dangerous bounty hunter to ever live. “Not even a moment for hesitation, huh ?” He seemed to be amused by this “Let’s see which button was it..Uhhh..Right, this one.” A boop was heard and soon the plates that covered the room began to separate, giving way to four primitive kinetic energy based weapons that rotated around the room and began to spin with a loud whir. The blasts fired against them simply ricocheted off. “You see, the reason my species has made it this far wasn’t muscle, brains or..Tentacles..Like you bunch have. We learned to exploit the world around us: ganging up on stronger animals, luring them into traps, lying and cheating our way to the top. Now we are here, free from the boundaries imposed by nature.” As he spoke the guns started firing, corpses falling down with every single ear-ringing wave of projectiles. I jumped under a table, pushing someone else who had the same idea out. They were shot immediately. It wasn't long before the human’s monologue was over, and everyone in the room either dead or bleeding to. A door opened as the man walked in, holding a weapon akin to those who mowed down the people moments ago. He walked over to the table, shooting a couple struggling men on his way. He stopped right before the table, his mask falling to the ground as he..Celebrated. The once intimidating person started jumping around amidst the corpses, screaming obscenities of his victory “GET FUCKING DESTROYED YOU WEIRD LOOKING SHITS. READ LIKE A GODDAMN BOOK” Was the only one amongst them that didn’t include some sort of language I still don’t know. As he finished, he once again turned towards the table “Consider yourself lucky, you’re not on the list. There are ships waiting outside.” He simply said as he grabbed his weapon and walked out. I didn’t want to be close to that..Thing. But I also couldn’t spend any more time in this room full of corpses. I decided that if he hadn’t killed me yet there must have been a reason. I followed the man, walking past what once was a lush field, now stained by the blood of the many guest’s blood. Many corpses of the personal army from earlier were still there, their heads seemingly exploded from within their helmets. There were no victors in this war, except the one walking in front of me, happily picking the biggest ship he found and boarding it. He flew off, and that was the last I saw of him. I took one of the ships and went back home to my family. I instantly began working on this, as I must not forget a single detail of my encounter with the biggest threat of this galaxy. I never want to meet a human again.