text: A frenzied shriek over the airwaves was the only response to the controller’s repeated request for identification. A few tense moments later, the unidentified plane crashed east of the airport and nearly caused an air-to-ground collision. A midsize jet had been taxing down the runway in preparation for takeoff but had to abort in lieu of the emergency circumstances. The crash investigators were surprised there were no survivors or human remains found amid the wreckage. A cursory examination revealed that the vast majority of the doomed vessel was still intact; allowing for a realistic outcome of survivors. As a matter of fact, no explosion or fire had occurred at all in the fuselage. Closer inspection revealed the reason was because the fuel tanks were completely empty at the moment of impact. What did puzzle them was the very odd combination of forty five sticks of dynamite; and the bodies of twenty seven adult chimpanzees. “With those sticks of dynamite, there wouldn’t have been anything left if it still had fuel.”; They reasoned. "Luckily they didn't detonate from the impact alone." The obvious conclusion to the mystery was that the plane had been piloted by rogue animal smugglers. Those unscrupulous criminals were lured by the illicit fees paid to smuggle primates across the world to North American experimental laboratories. Another curious aspect of the investigation was the unusual location of the dead apes. They were scattered throughout the plane; instead of being in cages or crates. Ordinarily wild animal smugglers isolate them in the cargo hold during transportation. Three of the apes were even in the cockpit area. The investigators concluded that the smugglers had miscalculated their fuel supply and had bailed out before the crash; or hastily made their escape as the emergency vehicles screamed to the scene. “Perhaps a loose chimpanzee distracted them from checking the fuel gauge.”; Another theorized enthusiastically. "During the chaos, the loose primate may have freed the others. That would explain the dead chimps being in the cockpit." An all points bulletin was put out for the unknown suspects. The official report suggested at least three would have been required to fly a plane of that size. Since it crashed near the runway, it was assumed they were still close by. After running the plane’s ID number through the database, it was determined to have been stolen a few hours earlier from a large land development company. The mid-sized cargo plane had been taken from an airfield near the owner's construction site; four hundred miles away. Perplexing to the investigators was the fact that the company headquarters was only a few miles away from where the stolen plane crashed. It seemed to be quite a curious “coincidence” that (of all the places the smugglers could have went with their contraband), their flight path was in direct line to whom it had stolen it from. That revelation brought up many unanswered questions which needed to be taken up with the owner. He agreed to come in for questioning and to give an official statement. When asked why the stolen explosives hadn’t been reported, the owner contended that he had no knowledge of it. He further explained that he hadn’t even been told about the missing plane until an hour beforehand by the site foreman. His explanation and genuinely confused expression satisfied the local police but they had been given strict instructions to detain him a bit longer. A federal agent was on the way to further interviewed him. In all investigations involving explosives, animal smuggling, and aircraft highjacking the government assumes jurisdiction since criminal offenses of that nature could threaten national security. Also taken very seriously are suspected cases of insurance fraud and false theft reports. That was exactly what the inspector suspected under the circumstances. The lead investigator wanted to judge for himself if the developer had anything to hide, before releasing him. When he arrived; the agent formally introduced himself as Special Operations Investigator Joe Harris. He removed his mirrored sunglasses and deftly placed them in the coat pocket of his tailored suit. After taking a few minutes to familiarize himself with the facts of the case, he proceeded to the interrogation room for the questioning. Recently the government had tightened down on animal smuggling after U.S. based animal right’s organizations put pressure on them. Most state officials resented interference by the same country that created the incentive for smuggling in the first place but the American tourist dollar was a major part of their economy. They couldn’t afford to ignore the animal rights groups since they were such a powerful lobby. The general consensus however was that it would have made much more sense for them to tackle the problem from where it started; the U.S. Being a country with extreme poverty made this lure of riches simply too tempting to their poor countrymen. In the interrogation room, the agent questioned the owner with deliberate repetitiveness. He did this to determine if the same answer was given each time it was asked. This particular method of interrogation is called re-collective continuity. It is considered one of the best techniques for uncovering the truth about the subject’s statement. In this case however, the developer seemed to be telling the truth so he was cleared of suspicion and released. Two days later Agent Harris flew to the construction site and began interviewing laborers about the theft. As his first subject he chose the construction foreman since he had been the one to report the theft. From there, he planned on working his way down throughout the ranks of workers and contractors. During the initial interview, the foreman went over the events leading up to the robbery. When he mentioned the strange circumstance of the chimpanzees being loose on the plane, the foreman offered: “I don’t guess it would have done any good to cage the little bastards!” When asked for further clarification; the foreman explained that for months chimpanzees had been breaking into their supply hut and stealing food and snacks at night. Finally sensing what he meant, the agent dropped his serious disposition and asked with a humorous overtone; “Well, didn’t you lock it?” To that the foreman explained that at first there didn’t seem to be any need to. Eventually the supplies just started disappearing and couldn’t be accounted for. “That still doesn’t prove that...” “I hid outside one night and waited to catch the thief. It was then that I saw with my own eyes!”; He interrupted. “Those harry rascals crept over quietly and pulled the stick out of the lock flap and helped themselves to several cookies before I chased them off!”; He continued. Agent Harris broke into an ‘ear to ear’ grin. “You guys never heard of a padlock?” “Of course we’ve heard of padlocks.”; He sneered. The thick sarcasm annoyed him. “But that didn’t do any good either! They must have watched us put up the key on the pegboard next to the bulldozer keys. The next day, more food was missing and the supply hut’s key was on the wrong hook. I thought one of the men was playing a joke but I’ll be damned if we didn’t catch one of ’em the next morning ‘red handed’; trying to put the key back, with a candy bar in his other hand!” “You mean to tell me the apes were unlocking the padlock with the key?”; Joe grinned. “Not only that; they were locking it back so we couldn’t tell!” Agent Harris roared with laughter. “I’m tellin’ ya’, those monkeys are smart. They were sneaking into our R & R lounge and watching T.V. at night! We never caught ‘em but we could tell they had been in there because our generator was ran down every morning. Muddy paw prints would be everywhere!” “Well; so much for the ‘perfect crime’!”; He chuckled. A hilarious vision flashed in his mind of the chimpanzees sitting around watching “Bedtime for Bonzo”; while eating popcorn and wearing human clothes. Slowly he rose from the chair and thanked the foreman for the very amusing story. “The crazy things I encounter at this job!”; he thought to himself. One by one, Agent Harris eliminated all the workers as suspects at the development complex. They had all given similar accounts of the events which took place on the day of the theft; and all had 'iron clad' alibis. About the only interesting fact of the whole investigation was that the nearby chimps had a preference for candy bars and old war movies. The only other information came from workers who cleaned up after the rogue primates but he wasn’t about to put any of that ridiculous hearsay in his report. He would have been the laughing stock. There didn’t seem to be anything further to uncover there so he prepared for the return trip to the crash site. Unfortunately his dismissal of the provided testimonials at the development site was wrong. All the evidence he needed to solve the case was right there 'under his nose' but he refused to see it! In all fairness, he wasn’t alone in being oblivious. No one else would have been able to accept the true facts of the mystery either. Rapidly, the jungle was being bulldozed down to make room for the new development; and the ‘rascals' were watching their home disappear. Since fruit is their primary source of food and trees are their source of shelter and recreation, they began to suffer losses of both; as they were cut down. It was only natural that they would resort to raids on the supply hut and the R & R lounge (to seek food and recreation) since the source of both was becoming increasingly scarce. There in the lounge the Chimpanzees learned about war and bombing missions while watching T.V. They wanted to extract revenge on the humans who were responsible for destroying their home, so the supply plane seemed to be the logical answer. Many times they had witnessed the destructive power of dynamite while watching human’s blow up tree stumps out of the ground for clearing land. They simply navigated toward “enemy headquarters” for a retaliatory strike with the human’s fire sticks. Only a little more fuel in the plane stood in their way of successfully blowing up the land developer’s office and extracting justice. Still; I know that many of you readers will refuse to believe this is a case of “monkey see, monkey do”; but look at ME for proof! I learned how to type while watching the same T.V. as the others.