text: I run up the stairs, dizzy and out of breath, while at the same time the adrenaline rushes through my body. This is the last chance. “I cannot mess up this time” is all I think about. I reach to the top of the stairs, and the I can see the sturdy metal door slightly ajar. “This has to be it. She couldn’t be anywhere else”. I checked every single door looking for her, and now that I’ve reached the top, with only one door left, I am suddenly filled with excitement and uncertainty. “What if she’s not here?” “What if it’s not her?” “What if she’s with someone here already?”. These thoughts spin in my head, faster and faster. I walk closer to the door, and push it. A chilly breeze welcomes me, and I feel the cold January afternoon. I instantly feel proud of myself for wearing the coat and scarf, for once. I look around. Ahead of me is a medium balcony with a simple, gray concrete fence. It’s cracked over the edges. To my left is a small round outdoor table with three plastic chairs around it. One of them is missing a leg. And there she was, at last. Who even cares about the plain, ugly rooftop. All I can think about right now is her. She stands with her back at me, leaning on the fence. She is shivering, and she isn’t dressed properly for a cold day such as that one. She doesn’t notice me, and probably didn’t hear the door either. Her breathes are heavy, and each time she breathes out, small white clouds leave her mouth, creating an aura around her. A raindrop falls down on my cheek, and another one. Gentle raindrops. I breathe sharply, trying to ease the pain in my chest. She tenses up but doesn’t move from where she stands, which probably means that she finally realized I’m here. A raindrop falls of from her cheek as well. And another one. I step closer to her, only a meter separating us now. I gently put my hands on her arms and suddenly she’s facing me. My hands are moving slowly, gently from her arms to her shoulders, slightly up to her neck I pause. At this point, both of us are already wet from the raindrops who became heavier and bigger. She opens her mouth, then closes it. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t know what to say either, if I were here. I take off my scarf and wrap it around her frozen shoulders and neck, even though she tries to argue. I don’t care if I get sick at this point. Her gaze is locked in mine. The world slows down and the wind calms down a bit. She holds my coat sleeves and clenches her small fists against my chest, leaning against me while she buries her had in my chest. I hold her, scared to break her. Again. I’m afraid. I’m so, so scared of hurting her. My shirt gets wet from the drops on her face and I my eyes are blurry. “I’m sorry. So, so sorry.” I whisper to her. I look up to the sky, only to see the clear blue skies up above. Not a cloud. We both knew it wasn’t raining.