text: Teenagers. They’re rambunctious. They’re rebellious. They’re hunters of the supernatural in the night. At least, mine thinks she is. You got one too, don’t you, Hugh? So, you’re probably going to get it. More than any of the others. See, Hugh, we lost her mother awhile back. Neither of us took it quite well. But, Seline? I mean, who am I to assume to know anything of the connection between a mother and daughter? But Jesus, Lord almighty. She just crumbled into bits. I could tell you all about what came next. The months of dark rooms and uneaten dinners. Pastor sayin to me she needs more church but I’ll admit before God himself, I was this close to taking the darned girl to the best shrink I could afford. Icould not lose Seline, too. Not after what we went through together. But then something happened. And I don’t pretend to be no prophet. I’m no saint. But something real otherworldly transpired when I was at the end of my wits and I tell you, I’ve never been so thankful for anything in my life. You see, my baby girl was carried home on cloud nine one evening after weeks of looking. like she had just personally surveyed Dante’s rungs. My Seline, my beautiful Seline, had found actual shards of heaven. She said an angel from on up high living out in in the desert in one of them steel trailers showed her how to use these divine minerals to see the truth of the world. All be damned, if the second she showed me how to ingest the good news of the mineral, I didn’t start seeing straight this entire damned world. I know what you’re thinking. Ol’ Matty Pigstuy has lost his goddamn mind! Of course that’s what you’re thinking. I got you strung up here in my barn LIKE A GODDAMN PIG! But you’re no pig, right partner? You been coming to buy from ol Matty for years! So what gives? Well, gimme a second here. Let me shove some more of this angel glass into my pipe. Gotta get it real hot, so it can do its jesuit magic. Good god. That feels great. Yeah, baby! Here, I know you’re upside down and that hook in your back gotta hurt something mighty fearsome... But you feel that? You see that? That clarity. Breathe it in deep, like a good sow on the grill..... See? See that? That’s how my baby Seline showed me to see you all. I know what you are, partner. You’re a demon, lurking in the dark. Pretending to be human. Been biding your time pretending to be a good neighbor and loyal customer. Buying my hog for your little watering hole, using fruits of my labor to entice men to hellish means. But my baby Seline is the legendary hunter. She’s shown me. She’s the chosen one. From season one to series finale. She’s going to foul your kind up. That grinding sound you hear behind you is her sharpening that demon-hunter sword of hers. She says she pulled it from a dreamworld after an adventure in another universe. But between you and me? I think that gal’s a bit cuckoo. I made her the goddamn sword. The things we do for our princesses’s though? Right? Am I right!?! Goddamn! Thank you lord for sending me this heaven rock so I can see the way. Goddamn! Thank you lord for making my baby girl your warrior disciple! Goddamn! Thank you lord for showing me Hugh, the bar owner, is my baby girl’s next demon bounty! Or whatever.