text: Super Dan climbed in through the police commissioner's fourth floor office window."You called?" he said with a cocky grin."Yes Dan Man, we need your help and also some of your assistance." said the police commissioner."Hey, hold on! I'm Super Dan, not Dan Man." "Oh," the police commissioner chewed on a finger nail, "the chief inspector and I thought you called yourself Dan Man. We've always called you Dan Man - haven't you noticed previously until up to now?""You have a large 'D' on your chest." pointed out the chief inspector of crime, as he moved a handheld magnifying glass in and out over said 'D'."Well, that's because 'S' is already in use." said Super Dan."Say what?" said the police commissioner."It's being used and basically, is ruled out forever now." said Super Dan."It is?" said the chief inspector, "that's sad.""Yes, well, whatever, a 'D' is what it is" said Super Dan."For Super Dan?" said the chief inspector."That's right." said Super Dan."Not Dan Man." said the police commissioner."No.""Dan Man sounds alright though, don't you think?" said the chief inspector."Look," said Super Dan, his patience coming all unravelled, "anyway - what did you want me for? First I saw a 'P' projected into the night sky - the next minute it was slowly turning around clockwise to form a 'd' in lower case." Super Dan frowned in an obvious manner, "You need to be careful about that, you could have ended up with Pee Man.""We know, we switched it around as soon as we noticed." said the police commissioner."Believe me, you do not want Pee Man turning up unannounced." said Super Dan."Yes, yes," the police commissioner wiped an anxious white handkerchief across his perspiring forehead "for sure - we know Dan Man, we know.""Anyway, now that I am here," said Super Dan, hands on hips, "what is the mission?""Your mission tonight Dan Man, take it or leave it," the police commissioner pulled down on the hem of his waistcoat and pushed his chin forward, "is to fly past every circular intersection roundabout within the county and each bed sheet daubed with birthday greetings that you find, you are to remove - and dispose of in a responsible manner.""Well, okay, fly no, bicycle yes, I accept." said Super Dan."Eliminate these eyesores, this plague upon our land, promise you will not fail us." said the chief inspector."You have my word." said Super Dan."Er-umm, Dan Man," the police commissioner said, "you've laddered your tights." Two evenings later... On this occasion, Super Dan rang the front door bell."Dan Man!" cried the chief inspector, ushering Super Dan quickly inside and up the oak banister staircase."Yes! I am here again - and you did it again didn't you, a 'P' and then a 'd'. You really must be much more careful, one of these days you are going to have Pee Man arrive.""Yes - yes, we know - we know." said the chief inspector.They clambered up the next three flights of stairs in silence, until they reached the office where the police commissioner had been waiting, pacing backwards and forwards impatiently."So, what is it this time?" Super Dan said."Dan Man, you remember the task we set you the other night?" said the police commissioner."Y-es, indeed I do." Super Dan said, sashaying his cape over a shoulder with pride."Well what's all this we hear about the makeshift, roadside shrines being cleared away?" said the police commissioner."As well as the birthday bed sheets? We-ll," said Super Dan, "It just seemed a natural extension for the mission, two birds with one stone. I cycled past them at first, barely giving them a second look, but as I got more and more into the bed sheet job, I found I couldn't stop myself.""DAN MAN! You shouldn't have done that!" the police commissioner and chief inspector chorused together (only fractionally out of sync)."..." Super Dan came speechless."Earlier today we received instructions from the lord city mayor, telling us to tell you to go back and reinstate all the makeshift roadside shrines you've taken down." said the police commissioner."What?! Are you serious? Why exactly?" said Super Dan."He wouldn't say - even when pressed to tell. He just wants it all put back." said the chief inspector."How am I going to be able to do that? I can't remember what where went!" said Super Dan."What went where?" cut in the police commissioner, rubbing his thumb across the stubble on his chin."Yes, that as well. If I try to put the makeshift roadside shrines back together, the bereaved families and friends are bound to notice they won't look anything like how they remembered them. I mean - I didn't take any photos as a record, I just tore them down and shoved all the rubbish into black bin bags. How can you expect me to do this?" said Super Dan."Well Dan Man, you are just going to have to try your best, or..." said the police commissioner."Or what?" said Super Dan."If you do not carry out your instructions successfully, then you'll just have to wait and see what the consequences are."Both the police commissioner and the chief inspector of crime folded their arms across their own chests in a pugnacious fashion, throwing back their heads in loud and demeaning laughter, not stopping until their cheeks ached, as Super Dan hurriedly exited the building. to be continued...