text: "I'm dying," Amber wheezed, tears streaking down her cheeks. She doubled over and gasped for air, her windpipe croaking dramatically as she heaved and worked to force air back into her lungs. Beth rolled her eyes. "Shut up," she said, scrolling nervously through the comments on her recent Instagram post. There were tens of thousands of them. Most were just some variation on 'The King!' but few were any wittier. She closed her eyes and shook her head while Amber continued her steady march toward an imminent death. "Your first viral post and it's..." Amber choked and sputtered, wailing like a fangirl. The last time something had set Amber off on a laughing fit like this, Beth had been more than happy to join her, but this time she was fuming. Her ears were hot and she had to fight to relax her jaw muscles. "That little..." she muttered, clenching her fist while she reloaded the app to look at the photo again. She couldn't believe she'd missed it before uploading it. The shot had slipped in between some relatively normal photos from her recent vacation, a vacation that he'd promised to stay out of. She was going to have to have a very stern talk with him. "Oh come on!" Amber cried, her gut trembling with glee. "Lighten up! It's an amazing photo! You look great, super hot girl, and..." the laughing fit seized her again and she spat, bursting at her lips trying to keep it in. Beth shrugged internally. It was true. If one of her photos was going to go viral, it might as well be this one. It was a new bikini and she loved how it showed off her curves, but obviously that wasn't what had captured the public's attention. She grunted, threw herself on her bed, let out a long, painful groan, and stared at the ceiling. If she weren't so mad, she could cry. Amber made a show of trying to compose herself and sat next to Beth. The two had been friends since middle school and they'd always dreamed of going viral. So when Amber had called ten times in a row that morning to wake up her friend and tell her the news, Beth had been excited... for a moment. Now she just wanted to beat the living daylights out of someone, but she'd have to wait for Amber to leave. "Come on ," Amber urged, pulling Beth upright. "I thought you'd be excited! This is great ! Photobombed by..." The laughing fit threatened to return. "Not just photobombed," she moaned. "He was mooning me behind my back." Beth sat up reluctantly and eyed her closet, glaring through the closed door, hoping he could feel her fury. Amber noticed the look. "What?" she said, looking at the closet. Her eyes darted back to Beth. "What's wrong?" "Nothing," Beth muttered, gritting her teeth. "Wait a minute," Amber breathed, glancing back and forth between her friend and the closet. "You're hiding something." Beth's heart started pounding. She tried to hide her panic. "No," she said. "I'm just dreading ever going out in public again. I was thinking maybe I should throw out my whole wardrobe." Amber peered at her friend, a decade of shared experiences synchronizing their neurons. Squinting, Amber's eyes shifted back to the closet. "So you won't mind if I just take a peek then," she said, getting up from the bed. "No!" Beth cried, grabbing her friend by the wrist. Amber looked down at her with wide eyes, her eyebrows raised suspiciously. Their eyes locked while Amber searched her friend's face for the truth, and suddenly her eyes bulged and she gasped. "Josh!" she cried. "You had Josh over last night? Did you two..." she trailed off, clasping a hand to her mouth and yanking her wrist free of Beth's grip. She turned back to the closet and stared. "That's not it!" Beth blurted, jumping to her feet to try inserting herself between Amber and the closet. But Amber was a step ahead of her, lunging at the door. "Josh!" she yelled, her hand wrapping around the door knob. "You dirty little..." Beth clawed at her friend's clothes, desperately trying to wrestle her away from the door. She tugged in vain, only finally succeeding when Amber let out a screech and jumped back from the open closet. Both girls tumbled to the floor, rolling on top of each other while Amber frantically grabbed at Beth, gasping in shock. Peter, as Beth had named him, waddled silently out of the closet, his huge eyes glancing around casually as he took in the scene. Amber scrambled back with her hands and feet, scooting all the way against the bed before desperately clambering up on top, trying to drag Beth with her. Beth brushed her friend's hands away and got up, scowling at Peter, who merely gazed up at her with his wide, unblinking eyes. At barely two feet tall, Peter had the appearance of a slightly disturbing children's toy and the presence of a truly unsettling doll. His body was round and it almost completely blended with his head, giving him the appearance of a curvy gourd with huge eyes and tiny feet. His short, spindly hands gave the impression that his entire species had long since forgotten how to do any kind of manual labor in the same way that his stubby, waddling feet implied his ability to fly. Gracefully, the little creature rose slowly into the air, pushing off from the ground with one of his small feet as though he had been walking along the bottom of a pool. He floated peacefully up until he was at eye level with Beth, who continued to glower at him with low eyebrows and stern lips. Amber's breathing was deep and loud, her tight chest causing her to moan and whimper as she fought to calm herself. Beth looked back at her over her shoulder and rolled her eyes, turning back to Peter. "You said you'd stay here when I went on vacation!" She said angrily. She folded her arms and glared at the creature. It flickered and shimmered, the air around it bubbling and churning as it morphed and changed. Instantly Beth found herself looking down at a sad, small little girl, wringing her hands and fighting back tears. "You're angry?" the child asked, trembling. "Oh please!" Beth moaned impatiently. "Spare me the theatrics! You followed me when I asked you to stay here! You promised !" The image of the child fizzled and swirled and grew until a charming, handsome man materialized. He smiled and raised his eyebrows into a dashing smirk. "But I thought you'd like it baby," he said in a suave, deep voice. "We're meant to be together." "Not all the time!" she cried desperately, throwing her hands up. "I told you I need some time away sometimes. You can be so annoying!" Amber sounded like she was hyperventilating. She was trying to talk, but all she could do was gasp, "it, it, it, it, it..." over and over again, her voice airy and hollow. She was on the verge of tears, and both Peter and Beth turned and looked at her with pity. Peter's form frothed and shimmered again until an oversized plush teddy bear was bounding toward Amber with its arms extended for an embrace. Amber shrieked, her eyes bulging out of her head as she shriveled into the fetal position, trembling uncontrollably. "Dang it Peter," Beth groaned, crawling onto the bed with her friend and pushing the fuzzy bear away. She held her shaking friend and hushed her. "It's OK," she said. "This is Peter. He floated through my window a month ago and..." she looked over at the thing while it swirled and twisted into something that made her eyes roll and her blood boil. "He's the reason my photo went viral." Amber peered out from the protective cocoon of Beth's embrace, through the gap in her own defensive arms, and saw the familiar white and gold jumpsuit, slick black hair, and sly, crooked smile. "Uh huh," Peter said smoothly, with that trademarked smirk. "Everybody loves the king of rock and roll, and now everybody loves my friend Beth too!" He grinned proudly. "The king is back baby!" Beth let out a tired sigh and rolled her eyes, resting her cheek on her friend's trembling head. Slowly she let a tiny smile crack on her face. After venting her frustration, she had to admit... it was kind of funny.