text: The door says they’re closed. Am I at the right place? You’re at the right place. Just open the door. I’m in the back. Paul opened the door a crack and peeked in. Warmth, the smell of baked bread, and a few small drifts of conversation seeped out. It was enough for him to open the door all the way. Most of the tables were empty, a few were unbussed. But the hostess was still at her post, staring down at her podium, her bright and busy phone screen reflected in her glasses. She looked up at him languidly. “Uh, I’m sorry. I’m not sure if I’m in the right place.” he said. “Paul?” she asked. “Um, yes. I-” “All the way to the back.” she interrupted. Then returned her face to her screen. She seemed very young, looked almost too young to even have a job. But the way she’d spoken to him. Not rude, exactly, or disgusted. But with disinterest. With a boredom that takes most people forty or fifty years to earn. He tried to make himself smaller as he walked past her. With his eyes to the very back wall, he made his way around the empty tables. He only saw one other table with someone seated. A woman who looked about 50 was absently gazing at the wine menu. Then, while he was watching, another younger woman backed out from under the table. Her short red dress left nothing to the imagination, if only there were anyone else around to take a peek. She sat down abruptly across from her partner, who leered at her with a smirk. She hastily wiped her mouth with a napkin, scanning the room as she did so. Paul locked eyes with her for a brief, embarrassing second, then they both looked away. Paul continued through the restaurant. In another moment he heard a voice. “Paul!” It was Evelynn. She was, indeed, at the very back. She stood up and waved, smiling. The lighting was all very dim, but he could still make out her silver, form-fitting dress. Like eveningwear in a beauty pageant, he thought, but not so self-conscious. She looked relaxed. Charming. Seeing her made him unclench his jaw and relax his shoulders. When he had just about closed the distance between them, she lunged forward and hugged him. He thought it felt like more of a trust-fall, the way he almost had to catch her. They both laughed. She kissed his cheek, then told him to please have a seat. She was still smiling. “You look amazing,” Paul said. He took a quick glance at his polo shirt and slacks, then added “I feel so underdressed.” “No, don’t be silly.” Evelynn said. She reached across the table and took his hand lightly in hers. She looked into his eyes with an intensity he didn’t recognize. After a few seconds he had to look away. “So I wasn’t wrong about them being closed,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at the nearly empty dining room. “Oh. no. You’re right. They close at 11. But my friend is the chef. She lets me sneak in sometimes. Especially if I’m bringing a date.” She gave him a wink. She hadn’t let go of his hand. “So, is this a date?” he asked. “I thought so,” she said, still smiling. “You don’t? “No, I mean, I wanted it to be. I was excited when you texted. But I was surprised. I hadn’t heard from you for a while. I thought maybe things were just too awkward.” She gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “Well, we can talk about all of that while we eat. Are you hungry?” He had been so nervous in the hours leading up to their dinner that he hadn’t actually stopped to consider that he’d be required to eat anything when he got there. But seeing Evelynn again, how sincerely happy she seemed to see him, had put him at ease. His stomach growled. “Sure.” he said, trying to sound relaxed, “I could take a look at a menu.” “Ah, sorry! One of the rules we have to follow as secret guests of the chef is that we eat whatever she brings us. Sometimes it's extra portions. Sometimes it’s a new dish she’s experimenting with. But it’s always...always amazing.” Evelynn said. She grinned an almost mischievous grin, and asked him if he had any debilitating food allergies. He said no. As if summoned by their conversation, the chef emerged from the steel double doors of the kitchen like a card shark bursting into an old western saloon. When her eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting of the dining room, she spotted the pair at their table and marched over. Paul thought she looked like a cartoon version of a chef. With a stained hand towel draped over her shoulder and a few locks of brown hair spilling from her exaggerated chef’s hat. She was all smiles as she approached the table. “Hey babe.” she said to Evelyn cooley. Evelyn stood up to give her a long hug and a kiss on the cheek. Paul stood and offered his hand. “I’m a hugger, Petey.” the chef said, slapping his hand away. She pulled him in for a quick but very tight squeeze. “It’s Paul,” said Paul, without making eye contact. “You guys ready for something new and exciting tonight?” the chef said, ignoring him. “It’s something new I’ve been playing with. I got it going in the back right now. It’s just about ready. Don’t fill up on bread, ok?” she said. She gave Paul a wink, then swooped back toward the kitchen, disappearing again behind the giant double doors. Paul scanned the table for bread. There was none. “What did she say her name was?” Paul asked once he was sure she was gone. “She didn’t.” Evelyn said. “It’s Katy.” “She reminds me of my Uncle Chuck.” he said. “How did you two meet?” “Oh, we go all the way back. We grew up on the same street. She’s pretty much my big sister. She’s in ninety percent of the photos from my childhood.” Evelyn stared nostalgically past Paul for a moment before taking his hand on the table again. “But enough about her. How have you been?” she asked. “I’m ok.” he said. His eyes were fixed on his hand in hers, her thumb gently stroking the back of his hand. He had to break out of his trance to continue. “ Mostly just working around my dad’s shop. I’ve run it a couple whole days this week, while he was out getting parts and meeting some people for the car show.” “Car show?” Evelyn said.. “Yeah, every year one of the local radio stations has a car show, and my dad likes to be really involved in it with networking and all that. It always brings in a lot of business.” “Which radio station?” “I’m not sure.” “Isn’t that something you should find out if you’re gonna help run the place?” she said. That question tensed him up a little, but her sincere smile disarmed him almost in the same instant. He didn’t remember her being so charming before. Maybe it was all this dim, romantic ambiance, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken to someone so effortlessly beautiful. He was about to tell her so when a commotion from somewhere behind him broke the spell. The two women that Paul had passed on the way in were yelling at each other now, and in what sounded like two separate languages. The younger woman Paul had caught crawling out from under the table was yelling in Spanish as she pummeled the older woman with her purse. The older woman was shouting incoherently and laughing in what sounded like drunken English as she held up her arms against the blows. There was also a very small dog on the floor yipping frantically and making exaggerated lunges at the older woman before withdrawing. In a moment two waiters appeared from the shadows and restrained the younger woman, leading her off around the corner. Her dog followed. The older woman, still laughing, collapsed in her chair and lit a cigarette. She caught sight of Paul staring at her. She spread her legs and shouted hoarsely “See anything you like?” Paul whipped back around, red-faced. Evelyn laughed. “That lady’s always here when I come in. I don’t know what her deal is.” she said. “I think the other girl with the dog was going down on her under the table when I came in.” Paul said. Evelyn spit water into her hand upon hearing this, and tried her best to choke down the rest. “What??” she said. They both started to laugh. But the situation reminded Paul of why he’d been so anxious about this meeting. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about.” he said. But that train of thought was interrupted by a metal cart crashing its way through the giant steel doors of the kitchen. Katy had brought the food. She wheeled up to their tableside, and placed a plate before each of them. Then she began: “Good evening! Tonight, I'd like to introduce you to one of my special new dishes, a true culinary delight hailing from the vibrant coasts of Vietnam: 'Vietnamese Stuffed Squid with Ground Pork,' a dish that encapsulates the essence of Southeast Asian cuisine with a touch of sophistication.” She winked at Paul again, then continued, as Evelyn took out her phone and began recording. “At the heart of this creation is fresh, tender young squid, meticulously cleaned, and prepared to become the vessel for our sumptuous stuffing. The stuffing, a harmonious blend of finely ground pork and succulent chopped shrimp, is the soul of this dish. It's enriched with delicate glass noodles and wood ear mushrooms, adding a unique texture and earthiness.” Laughter from Evelyn. Katy continued the next part in an exaggerated French accent. “We infuse ze pork mixture with a symphony of flavors - garlic, ginger, and a selection of fresh herbs, creating layers of aroma and taste. Zis mixture is carefully stuffed into each squid, ensuring every bite is a perfect balance of seafood and seasoned pork. “For ze final touch, we slice ze squid into elegant rings, revealing ze intricate layers of ze stuffing. It's a visual and gastronomic spectacle. Served alongside a bed of fluffy, steamed rice, zis dish is not just a meal; oh no no, it's a journey through texture, taste, and ze culinary artistry of Vietnam.” Evelyn put her phone away. The drunk woman across the room stood and applauded. Katy bowed with a flourish. “Cool, thanks, bye.” Evelyn said. Katy leaned in and kissed her cheek, then leaned over to Paul and said “Don’t be jealous sport, she’s not my type.” She jabbed him lightly with a knowing elbow, then retreated back into the kitchen once more. She left the cart by their table. On it were placed a candle and a bottle of wine. Paul had heard a few words he was not prepared for. Mainly tender, young and squid. He wasn’t sure about this at all. Evelyn, on the other hand, was already elbow deep in it. “Oh my god.” she said. “This is sooo good.” Well, she had invited him. He’d come all this way. There was no turning back now. He speared a stuffed squid ring with his fork, steeled himself, and ate it all in a bite. “Holy shit that’s good.” he said. And he meant it. It was amazing. They ate a moment in silence. A waiter emerged from the shadows and opened the bottle of wine, poured a glass for each of them, then receded back into the shadows once more. But after the silence got a little too oppressive, Paul once again felt the niggling urge to address the recent awkwardness between them. “Evelyn,” he began, “this is so nice. Really. Thank you so much for inviting me. But...” Evelyn reached out and took his hand. “I know what you’re going to say.” she said. “You want to talk about Halloween. That’s fine. We can talk about it now.” “Oh, good. I’m so glad. I’ve just been feeling like, if you knew my side of it, it wouldn’t be so bad.” She gave his hand another encouraging squeeze. “I’m listening.” she said. Paul looked down at the table as he began. “Ok. I’m trying to think of where to begin. I remember I was at Nate’s party. And I was super nervous because I knew you were gonna be there too. So I started drinking a little more than I normally would. And you know, the more I drank, the more excited I was to see you and tell you that I liked you and maybe ask you out. But as the night went on, you know, I never spotted you. I asked around if anyone had seen you, but nobody had. I know I texted you some pretty angry stuff, and I apologize for that. I just get angry when I drink, and I know that’s something I need to work on. So then, I went into Nate’s parents’ bathroom to puke, and when I came out, the lights were off, and there was a girl dressed as a banana on the bed. Only her...peels were down, and she only had a bra on her top. And I asked her, hey, are you ok?, and she just kinda laid there, and it was dark and her face was painted or something. So I got closer to her and asked her again if she was ok, and she smelled kinda fruity, it was nice, and she looked over at me, and I thought she was kinda smiling at me, and I was very drunk, so I kissed her. And she didn’t really kiss me back, but she didn’t stop me either, so...” “So you fucked me.” Evellyn said calmly, still holding his hand. “I didn’t know it was you, Evelyn, I swear! Not until almost the very end.” “The end.” she said. “When you came inside me.” Paul was crying now. And hyperventilating. “Did I?” he asked. “Oh man, I don’t know, I don’t remember. I didn’t have a condom or anything.” “I know,” she said. “But I swear Evelyn, I swear, I don’t have any diseases or anything. I’m clean. I promise.” “I know,” she said. Still as cool as a marble statue. The drunk woman punctuated his teary confession by screaming “Call me a cab, Enrique! I pissed all over your good chair. Add it to my tab!” Evelyn chuckled a little at the sudden outburst, but kept looking at Paul. Paul had pulled his hand back and sat with his head lowered in his hands, elbows resting on the table. The drunk woman shambled loudly around the corner, and was gone, leaving only a thin trail of smoke behind her. The couple sat in silence. Then Paul looked suddenly at Evelyn with a feeble terror in his face. “Did you, I mean...were you on birth control?” he said weakly. “I wasn’t.” she said. “I mean, you would’ve told me, if you’d gotten pregnant or something, right?” “Maybe that would’ve been the courteous thing to do. I guess I don’t really know, Paul. I hadn’t been raped before.” She spoke without a hint of malice, or even sarcasm. The word raped seemed to loosen Paul’s bowels like a kick to the stomach. In his panic, he could taste the adrenaline burning the back of his throat. He felt dizzy, like he might pass out. Was that what he’d done? Had he raped her? The thought disgusted him. He wasn’t a rapist. They’d been drinking. He was drunk. She misunderstood. It was a misunderstanding. He wasn’t some monster. He’d had feelings for her. They’d kissed. He hadn’t hit her or subdued her or covered her mouth or anything. Evelyn reached across the table and took both his hands in hers. “Look at me Paul,” she said firmly. She squeezed his hands. “Paul, you’re ok. I need you to breathe.” His eyes finally caught hers, and she held eye contact with him. “In and out, Paul,” she said. “Calm down. Good. Have a drink.” Paul took his wine glass and brought it to his lips with a trembling hand. He drained it. Evelyn reached for the bottle and refilled it. He drank it all down again. “To answer your question,” she said after a moment, “yes, I did get pregnant.” The wine was working on Paul now, so instead of vomiting from sheer panic all over himself, he simply slumped down in his chair. Evelyn’s composure told him she was telling the truth. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. “I don’t understand.” he said. You don’t look pregnant.” “I’m not anymore, Paul. I took care of it.” “Oh Jesus.” he said, planting his face in his hands. “Are you ok? Did it hurt? Can I, I don’t know, can I pay you back? My parents have money. Oh, please,” he said, perhaps considering his parents for the first time, “Oh, please don’t tell them. I can pay you. Whatever you want. Just tell me. Please.” Evelyn squeezed his hand. “You don’t owe me any money. I didn’t pay for it.” “Who did?” he asked. “Nobody, Paul. Abortions are illegal in Texas, silly. There was nowhere I could go. I don’t have the resources to get halfway across the country. And I couldn’t ask my super religious parents to spot me this one time for me to get scooped out.” She spoke as though she were telling some amusing anecdote at a bar. The calm detachment that had comforted him before was now starting to unsettle him. “So one night Katy brought over a bottle of vodka, and we looked up videos on how to get rid of a pregnancy. And honestly, it really didn’t take us long to find them.” So,” Paul said, connecting the dots deliberatively, “you and Katy, you did it yourselves?” “Yes,” she said. “And you’re sure it worked? I mean, it came out? How did you get it out?” The giant steel doors opened flamboyantly. Katy appeared again, carrying a silver waiter’s tray. “One second, Paul. It looks like it’s time for dessert.” Evelyn said, watching Katy approach. Paul was dumbstruck. “Are you kidding?” he said, raising his voice. “I never kid about dessert.” Katy said with a wink. She laid the tray between them. “Evelyn, please! Just tell me. Are you sure it's taken care of? Did you see it come out?” Paul screamed. “Woah, calm down there, chief.” Katy said. “This is a nice establishment.” Evelyn looked at Paul in a way that, for the first time that evening, betrayed an emotion. But which emotion? Fear? Disgust? No. He wasn’t sure. Everything was happening all at once, and he was drunk from the wine. She spoke at last. “I know it came out, Paul, because I held it in my own two hands. And it looked exactly like I was terrified that it was going to look. It was tiny. And it was the heaviest thing I’ve ever held in my life.” Katy stood silently by her side, placing an arm firmly around her shoulder, still wearing her ridiculous chef’s hat. Paul sat in stunned silence. He couldn’t look at either of them. “You’re wondering,” Evelyn said at last, “what I did with it. Aren’t you?” “No, I mean, I’m...what?” Paul said. “You wanna know what she did with it?” Katy said. She lifted the lid from the silver tray. All three of them stared intently at it. There was no desert. Only a slip of paper. It was a bill. “A gentleman always reaches for the bill, Paul.” Katy said. Hand trembling, he reached for the slip of paper and scanned it. Two entries for the Vietnamese Squid w/Pork. But the second entry had some substitutions. \- 1/2 pork \- SUB foot \- SUB foot \- SUB hand \- SUB hand \- SUB head \- SUB embcl crd \- SUB heart \- SUB bld clot Paul read it. Then he read it again. His face went white. “This is a joke.” he said. Evelyn withdrew her hand. “Is it?” she asked. “You didn’t really. Who would do something fucked up like that?” He looked at Katy. He noticed the small splotches of blood on her apron for the first time. It could be pork blood, right? “I get it.” he said. “You’re mad at me, and you’re fucking with me to feel better.” Evelyn sat motionless, staring as cooly as ever. She said nothing. “This is insane. This is why you invited me here? Some revenge on the poor fat loser who can’t get any pussy unless it’s some dumb drunk bitch?” “Hey.” Katy interrupted. “Watch your mouth. I said this was a nice establishment.” “Just tell me the truth and I’ll go.” Paul said. For all his bluster, he hadn’t regained any color. Katy reached down and grabbed the bill, folded it neatly in half twice, and stuck it in Paul’s shirt pocket. “You can take care of that up front with Enrique, boss.” she said. “And make sure to give him this, and he’ll give you a discount.” Katy produced a small slip of paper from her apron pocket and slipped it in the pocket behind the check. Paul abruptly pulled it out to see what it was. It was a small polaroid photo of a bloody hand holding a red blob about four inches long. The room was dark, but squinting at it, Paul thought he could just make out a small pair of eyes. He threw it and the bill on the ground in disgust. “You’re both fucking crazy.” he shouted. At that moment, two waiters emerged from the shadows. Each placed a firm hand on Paul’s shoulder. “Right this way, sir.” said the one on the left. “I’m afraid we’re closed.” “No way. Not until they tell me the truth!” Paul shouted into the waiter’s face. The men each grabbed him by an arm and began to pull him away. Paul screamed and cursed and fought them until eventually they all receded into the shadows again. Evelyn and Katy watched until he was gone. The moment paul could no longer be heard, Evelyn sunk down into her chair and cried. “I know, babe.” Katy said. She knelt down beside the chair and drew Evelyn into an embrace. Evelyn wept loudly. Katy gently rubbed her back, like another would a sick child. Another waiter appeared by the tableside and moved to refill her glass of wine. Katy gently waved him away.