text: The world was amazing with her. Since we met and became close three years ago, we spent almost every other day together. Mariah. Just seeing her name appear on my phone from a text message would generate a warmth in my chest that I didn’t even know was possible. I was never the shy type, but to even come up with anything clever to say to let her know was interested in her other than a friend was impossible. For the first year, we hung out at each others’ houses, went on “friend” dates, and supported each other through our ups and downs in our lives. It was July 17, 2019, when we had our first intimate moment. We had known each other for about a year when her dad was killed by a drunk driver on I-75 coming from watching football with his friends four days before. She was a wreck emotionally. Her mom left when she was four, so she was left alone with him her whole life. She was 22 now, but she was still a daddy’s girl. I had love for the old man, too. I had many conversations with him about sports, cars, and all “guy” stuff that you would expect. He even went as far to get me a birthday present for my 23rd back in March. It wasn’t much, a hoodie from my favorite music artist. The night he gave it to me, Mariah and I were talking at one of our usual spots we hung out at when we had long talks and laughed. “You know, I’ve never seen my Dad give anyone a birthday present that wasn’t family.” she said with a smile. “What? No way!” I was kinda shocked. I never did anything that amazing for him to deserve a gift. I figured he was just being nice. “Yeah, I’m serious. He must really like you being around.” In the light, her skin beamed and her eyes shined. She gave me a smile that forced me to smile, too. I didn’t know if I was hopelessly imagining it, but the look she gave me in that moment made me think that there was a possibility that I could reach out to her and tell her how I actually felt. Tell her that I am actually madly in love with her and couldn’t imagine being with anyone else in the world. She’s the most gorgeous person I had ever seen, that her kindness and compassion, her laugh, her smile, her mind, what she wanted out of life inspired me to try and be better. She convinced me to go back to school and finish my degree. I think back now, that I could’ve reached out then and succeeded. Yet, I bit my tongue and laughed it off. The next four days after her Dad died, she locked herself in her room, and didn’t leave the house. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. I never was close to my parents. Once I turned 18, I left and never looked back. I texted her every few hours to let her know I was there for her. I ran all over town gathering all of her favorite foods, snacks, and drinks to try and cheer her up. I had a bag from McDonald’s, a frappe from Starbucks, chimichangas from La Mejor Comida, and a pound of her favorite candy, Kit-kats. It was the evening of the fourth day. It was raining and tried to cover everything with my jacket as I ran up to her door. Her house had no porch to cover me from the rain. I called and knocked repeatedly with no answer. I thought about leaving maybe this was weird, or would make her mad. Doubt of my plan to make her feel better was a dud. As I went to turn away, I heard the door unlock and open slowly. I looked back and Mariah stood there in the doorway. Her eyes red and dry from running out of tears to cry, hair a mess, no make-up, and in one of hoodies she stole a while back. “Hey, uh. I couldn’t hold myself to leave you alone any longer even though it’s what you like when you’re sad. I didn’t want you to be alone...” I said. She looked me up and down with the face full of pain, but then her lip quivered a little and she stepped aside so I could come in. I entered and turned to the kitchen table and started placing everything down. “I’m sorry if anything is a little wet! I did everything I could to keep it dry.” She turned towards me and buried herself in a hug in my chest and I could feel her jerk as she was biting down a few sobs. After I got over the unexpectedness, I cautiously wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. “I’m so sorry..” She lifted her head and her eyes met mine and I could see all the pain she was feeling. My heart sank seeing someone I cared so deeply about hurting. I started to say more, then she shut me up by leaning into a kiss that lasted for awhile. When we separated, I looked into her eyes and she met mine. “I love you” It slipped out. I didn’t even process what I had said at first. Until, she started laughing. Deep hearted laughter that hurts after a while. I was confused at first until she kissed me again. “I know you do, dork. I’ve known for a long time. I love you too, I was just waiting for you to say it first, Drew.” I couldn’t help but smile as my heart swelled full. I felt like every main character in the movies when they finally got the girl at the end. We spent the rest of the night eating and laughing, then I stayed the night. She let me hold her all night, then the next day we went to the memorial for her dad, together. For the next two years, we started officially dating. We traveled the country and made numerous memories. We moved into a small apartment together, life was good. It was the best time of my life every minute I spent with her. I love her so much even to this day. And that is why it hurts so much when I scroll through Instagram and see a picture of her with her new man. Jaylen smacked me on my shoulder to get my attention. “Aye, man. You gonna pass the joint or nah? You been holding it for a minute.” I looked down at my hand and saw the paper had gone out. “My bad, dog. I wasn’t paying attention.” “You always doing that shit when you get on the ‘gram and see her ass with that lame.” He re-lit the joint and hit it a couple times. “C’mon Drew. Let’s go to the store down the street and get some drinks before we head over to Jared’s for the party.” I was still staring at the picture and the hole in my heart grew even bigger, trying to figure out where it went wrong. Without saying anything, I got up, grabbed my keys, and went with him out the door. “Look man, I know she did you wrong but it’s been two years! You gotta move on past that shit. I told that girl Laura to bring her friend Sofia, so you could talk to her more. You kow she into you!” I laughed and just said, “Good looks, bro.” We left the house, but she was still on my mind. It’s a hard thing to accept, when it happens. Sometimes people fall in love and sometimes they fall out of love, too.