text: Coffee splashed across the floor, pulling Eli from his peaceful nap. The newest hire was often a little... "much". "I might be your secretary, but I will *not* be bringing you coffee!" Rose dropped the paper cup on the floor and crossed her arms. "I didn't *ask* for coffee! Where did you even get that!?" Eli pulled his feet off his desk, "We don't even have a coffee machine here! Did you seriously go buy coffee just to spill it on my floor!?" "Maybe, but you can't prove anything." Rose shrugged, "Oh, there's a man here to see you." "Should I have a gun ready?" "He doesn't look like that kind of guy." Eli muttered for her to send him in and rubbed his eyes. Rose had only worked for him for a month. She'd stopped telling him she hated him after the first couple weeks, so that was at least better. She did take advantage of any small attempt to antagonize him, though. If he didn't hold himself responsible for her shop being overrun with unknowable and unnamable monsters, he would probably have just fired her. Which would have been fairly merciful since he had blown up the last person he had fired. Life was just a gas. The door swung open and the stranger walked in. Short beard, scraggly hair, slightly overweight, eyes turned red from crying, ring on his left hand. The man had been someone's husband for too long. Or had just experienced a few bad nights. The man dropped down into the chair in front of Eli's desk and cleared his throat. "Eli Thorne." Eli offered his hand, "What can I do for you?" "Walt Cain." The man shook Eli's hand, "I think my wife is cheating on me." "That is a possibility." Eli shrugged, "What do you want me to do about it?" "Well... you're a Private Eye... and I was thinking you could gather some pictures or something." "Oh, I'm not that kind of Private Eye." Eli shook his head and reached into his pocket, "You're looking for a sleazy cold fish. I've got a card for someone around here. Give him a call and-" "No, uh... Mr. Thorne... I just need you to hear me out." "Mr. Cain, what you're asking me to do is called 'stalking'. And I'm not the kind to do that. Drop a dime on this guy here," Eli slid the card across the table, "He's exactly the sort you're looking for. Chrome dome, smells awful, weighs as much as a bus, snores when he's awake. He's perfect for this. Tell him I sent you, and he'll owe me a drink." "Mr. Thorne, please listen." Walt pushed the card back to Eli. "No, *you* listen. This is not the kind of work I do. Now leave on your own or I will help you leave." Eli sat forward, "And I am *very* good at helping." "I know you're looking for info on a guy who owns a coffee shop. Turns out, I have information on Jerome Farmer." Jerome Farmer. That name had come up in a case Eli had worked before. A mysterious man who worked in the open. All attempts taken by Eli, his assistant, or their secretary had ended up completely worthless. Dead ends, all of them. And Eli *really* needed to know about Farmer. Farmer was the reason Eli had blown up his former partner. He needed to know *why*. Eli rolled his eyes, "Why do you think this would be a case for me of all people?" "You did some work for a friend a few months ago. He said it was something to do with a sailor who was smuggling... uh... 'evil books' into Haven City. I think this might be the same kind of thing. My wife has this novel she's been reading... and it's got all these weird drawings in it." "You're sure that's not a comic?" Eli sighed, "Look, Mr. Cain, 'evil books' are incredibly rare. The possibility of your wife having one is not very high." "She turned my dog into a monster." Eli coughed and sat up, "Alright, so maybe it's more possible than I thought. What does this have to do with her cheating on you?" "She's always working late, she always hides her phone, she is completely disinterested in me, and-" "Have you tried therapy? I hear it works." Eli sighed, "I... I can look into it. But the infidelity may be a different situation than the magic. I will be looking into *that* above all. And I would like compensation." "What's your rate?" "Normally, fifty an hour. Since this involves magic and I'm probably going to have to shoot people and cover all of that up, one hundred fifty an hour." Eli offered his hand, "Deal?" "Deal." Walt shook Eli's hand, "Tell me what you know. Anything that can help me track your wife down. Schedule, close friends, family who might help cover up anything you shouldn't know... Actually, do you have the book? Or the dog?" "I have the book here." Walt pulled out a tiny novel and dropped it on Eli's desk, "And the dog is in the trunk of my car." Eli picked up the book and started flipping through the pages, "Well, I think that's animal cruelty. Should have at least cracked a window." "You'll understand when you see the dog." "Well, this is absolutely an evil book." Eli muttered, "Romance novels. Hate 'em. This one's not even well-written. What's up with this infatuation with the word 'moist'? That's just gross." Eli rolled his eyes over and over as he quickly flipped through, but stopped as he picked up on a few strange phrases starting on page 117. He grabbed the lamp on his desk, flipped it on, and pulled it closer to the pages. He pulled a single page up and held the light behind it. The light filtered through, illuminating symbols and phrases that started to scratch at his mind. Equations and spells. "Yeah. Alright. This is magic." Eli squinted, "Now, my familiarity with this language is a little rough, but I think this part means something like 'be reborn in the shape of war'. Or that last word might be 'friendship'. Or 'screaming'. Or 'moist'. Yeah... this is a bad one. Mutating people and animals is never a good idea. Let's go take a look at the dog." \*\*\*\*\*\* Eli had his M1911 in his hand, loaded and cocked, per the instruction of Walt. Walt popped the trunk and jumped back. Large paws wrapped around the edge of the trunk, the body of the beast greasily sliding into the daylight. Its teeth grew from its lips. Its eyes were thin and dark. Its fur was matted and ugly. Its tails were long and curling. It growled at the sight of the two men. "Well, you should probably give your dog a bath or something. I know that I'd flip my wig if I smelled like that." Eli stepped forward, "Hey there, pooch. What's good?" The gurgling growl rumbled from its throat. Eli didn't take another step. "Yeah, this is a bad sign. Your dog looks healthy. Messed up and a little mutated, but healthy. Don't take him-" Eli paused and looked at the dog's underside, "Sorry. *Her*. Don't take *her* to a normal vet, but I know a nice lady who does checkups on dogs like these. Just don't ask her about the rabbits, and you'll be fine." Eli reached out and scratched behind the dog's horns, "You're actually almost cute." "How could you think *that thing* is cute!?" "I've seen some *weird* stuff, Mr. Cain." Eli pulled his notebook from his pocket, "Alright. Tell me where I might find your wife when she's 'working late', and I'll get this process started." \*\*\*\*\*\* Eli stopped in front of the yoga studio, swearing to himself the whole time. He made sure his snub was in the holster on his left hip, the M1911 was on his right hip, and the metal brace was secured safely on his right forearm. He'd dealt with evil yoga instructors before. Their flexibility was an irritation more than anything. "You ready for this, Mr. Thorne?" Eli looked at the passenger seat where his younger assistant sat. The kid was finally ready for a few cases, but Eli had wanted him to tag along. Better experience. The kid's golden hair was styled to match Eli's, and his muscular physique was hidden under his black coat. "I guess I have to be." Eli sighed, "This is just for the information on Jerome Farmer. Investigating cheaters is not going to be a common thing for us, okay?" "You got it, Mr. Thorne." The pair got out of his car and walked through the door as Eli pulled his long coat over himself. The studio was very bright. The interior walls were white and the exterior walls were glass. Plants were lined up against the walls and a fountain trickled by the door. It smelled like flowers and sweat. Calming music played over the speakers. It was actually a pretty nice place. The receptionist smiled warmly at Eli, but paused as he saw Eli's clothing, "Sir, what are you wearing?" "This is the height of fashion where I come from." "Where did you come from? Those clothes haven't been in style for like... eighty years." "Sixty, actually." Chase chimed in, "Mr. Thorne is an old-fashioned kind of Private Eye." "I happen to look very nice. And we don't tell people we're Private Investigators unless we have to." Eli stepped up to the desk, "Anyway, I need to speak with one..." Eli checked the page of his notebook, "Brad Wills. Do you know where I might find him?" "Oh, Brad doesn't do one-on-ones." "Good thing there's two of us, then." Eli motioned to Chase and himself, "Now, it's getting close to noon. Where does he get lunch?" "He brings in his own kale salad. It's to die for!" "I hate kale." Eli grumbled. Chase leaned over and whispered, "Is kale evil, Mr. Thorne?" "Not like... 'monster' evil, but certainly 'tastes bad' evil." Eli pointed at the hallway, "Is your break room down there?" "Our 'break room' is the roof garden." "I hate this damn place." Eli growled, "Is it open to the public?" "Members only." Eli tapped Chase's shoulder and motioned for him to follow. They walked a few steps away, making it just to the door. Eli kept his voice low as he leaned in to Chase, "I need you to distract him so I can get by. How many cameras did you see?" "Two cameras, same model, and one doesn't have the light on. That one is probably off. The other one is rotating back and forth slowly, so you should be able to slip past in about twenty seconds." Eli felt his heart jump, "I am so proud of you, kid. We'll make an investigator out of you yet. You distract him, and I'll-" "Actually, Mr. Thorne, I should go through. You stand out a bit in your clothes." "You think you can get him to squeal?" "For sure." Chase nodded, "I got this one." Eli nodded and walked over to the front desk, standing on the side with the working camera. He knocked on the desk, "Excuse me, sir! I have issues with your establishment! Have you seen what people wear here!? 'Suggestive' is putting it mildly! And what is this talk I hear about 'downward dog'!? What kind of *smut* are you peddling!?" "Sir, please lower your voice. You're-" "Sit up and speak clearly, young man! Where do you get off talking to your elders that way!?" "I think I'm older than-" "Why, back in my day, we didn't have things like these dens of sin and villainy! We had picture books and we were *grateful*! You make me sick with your disgusting business! For shame, sir! For *shame*!" "Sir, what kind of business do you think this is?" Chase slipped behind the receptionist, past the camera's watch, and down the hall, nodding to Eli as he hurried past. The group of people that had formed to watch Eli's outburst hadn't noticed Chase either. That was good. "I actually don't know what came over me." Eli pulled his wide-brimmed hat off and ran his hand through his hair, "Whew! That was strange. You all go about bettering your physical health, lowering your stress levels, and eating foul plants. I wish you well in your endeavors! I'm gonna go take a powder!" Eli bolted for the door as hard as he could. \*\*\*\*\*\* Eli jolted awake as Chase pulled the door open and jumped in. For a moment, Eli was pretty sure he heard screaming and crying coming from the roof, but it went silent as Chase slammed his door shut. Chase pulled out his phone and tapped on the icon that looked like a notebook. Why the kid couldn't just use normal pen and paper was beyond Eli. "Alright, so this is everything I got out of him." Chase held up the phone. Eli tilted his head back and pulled Chase's hand closer to his face, "Ah, so it looks like Walt's wife was *not* cheating on him. That's good. But... what does 'colt leafer' mean?" "Oh, my bad." Chase pulled his phone back, "I typed in the wrong thing there." "This is why you should use paper and pen. That way, you always know what you're writing down. And you don't have to deal with all this newfangled phone stuff." "It means 'cult leader'. She's involved in a cult, and the guy up there was one of her disciples. She's a disciple for someone else, and then on and on. It's like a pyramid scheme." "Ah, but with more magic." Eli started the car, "Do you have an address?" "There's an abandoned church on 1937 Gilman Avenue. I've typed it up in my phone." "No need for that." Eli pointed, "Grab the map from the glovebox for me, please." "Mr. Thorne, we can just use my phone." "Ah, but it's useful to know how to use a map." Chase groaned, but complied. Eli traced his finger across the map, searching out Gilman Avenue among the many branching streets of Haven City. He wasn't sure where 1937 would be, but he was smart enough to keep an eye out for an old church. "Hey, Mr. Thorne... I think Ms. Day might have something wrong with her." "Probably, yeah. She was a business owner, and now she's a secretary." Eli folded the map up and passed it to Chase, "But I'm gonna teach her to be an investigator and then she can do cases of her own. I think that might help her move on." "Well, I meant that she's always staring at me. And then she winks at me when I look over at her. She also keeps buying me coffee. And she always wants to know what I'm reading or what I did that day." "Uh... I think she thinks you're a bit of a dreamboat." "What's that mean?" "She thinks you're handsome." Eli fought very hard to ignore the large, bright, proud smile on Chase's face. \*\*\*\*\*\* Eli stopped the car and turned it off. He passed the keys to Chase and checked his M1911. Seven in the magazine, one in the chamber. He was ready to do something stupid. He unbuckled and holstered his gun. Chase unbuckled, but Eli grabbed his shoulder. "Stay here. I don't want you getting involved." "Just give me your other gun. I'm a lot tougher than I look. I'll have your back." "No. You don't need a gun. Stay here and get ready to drive like the dickens if things go poorly." "Mr. Thorne-" "No. I'm probably going to have to shoot people, and I don't want you in the middle of that. I want you to stay here and call Mr. Cain. Tell him the good news. His wife is *not* cheating on him. Just... try to leave out that she's probably a cult leader. And remind him to take that dog to the vet I sent him to." Eli took a breath, "And Chase?" "Yeah?" "If I'm not out in one hour, or if anyone other than me comes toward this car... floor it, okay?" Chase opened his mouth to protest, but months of knowing Eli had clearly taught him to go along with it. Chase leaned back in the passenger seat and pulled his leather-bound journal from his coat. The journal bore a winged insignia. Eli hadn't known that Chase kept a journal. Eli patted Chase's shoulder and got out of the car. He watched Chase scramble over to the driver's seat and crack open his book. Eli straightened his hat and walked up to the abandoned church. Flaking white paint turned slowly yellow in the harsh sunlight. A few cars sat in the parking lot in the back, some had been there long enough to sink into the asphalt. There was a half-destroyed mailbox hanging from its post in front of the church. The buildings all around were silent, dilapidated brick boxes. He couldn't see anyone looking out from the boarded-up windows... but that didn't mean no one was there... or that no one was watching. He ascended the steps, his hand ready to go for his gun at the first sign of trouble. Cults were a mixed bag. Some weren't terrible, just misguided. Others were antagonistic, but not supernatural. Others... Others were a problem through and through. Eli wished he was just going to deal with the first type... but he knew better. He knocked on the door with his left hand, his right hand looped around the inside of his coat. "What do you seek?" "Oh, shoot." Eli sighed, "There's a password or passphrase or something, isn't there?" "Yes. Did you forget it?" "No, no... it's on the tip of my tongue." Eli scratched his head, "Uh... Can you repeat yourself? Might jog the ol' memory." "Fine." the voice groaned, "What do you seek?" "Uh..." Eli ran through his thoughts. The romance novel had hidden notes about rebirth. Rebirth in the shape of... well... war, screaming, friendship, or something moist. Might be worth the risk. Eli cleared his throat, "I seek to be reborn in the shape of screaming." Silence. "Or friendship." The door swung open. A revolver was pressed right to Eli's forehead. "Maybe something moist." The cultist smiled, his eyes dark and his teeth curling into a smile, "Come on inside. The High Mother has waited for you." "I feel honored, I think." Eli stepped forward, "Well, let's do this." "Not so fast. I'll be taking your gun." the cultist pushed Eli's coat aside and grabbed the M1911 from his hip, "Now, any other weapons you'd like to declare?" "Any other weapons I'd like to declare? Nope." Eli shrugged, "Shall we go see the High Mother?" "Do you have any weapons you would *not* like to declare?" "Clever man." Eli nodded, "Yeah, I got a couple." "Show me." Eli's left arm swung to the side, knocking the revolver from his forehead. His right hand clenched into a fist. The revolver *boomed* right next to his head. The blade on his metal brace extended as it drove into the cultist's neck. "It's a knife that retracts into a metal vambrace. Or bracer. Or thing. It's metal. That's all that matters." Eli whipped the blade to the side, slashing out the cultist's throat, "Thought I'd let you know something as you choke on your own blood: you broke the first rule of guns. *Distance*. A minimum distance of five feet. Otherwise, I can control where it's aimed. And then... you're not listening to any of this, are you?" The cultist gurgled and laid still. "Yeah... didn't think so. Alrighty. I have to go meet the High Mother." Eli retrieved his gun from the fallen man and tilted his hat, "Good day, Mr. Cultist." Eli walked inside, keeping his gun in his right hand as he wiggled his finger in his left. He hoped that high-pitched whine would go away eventually. Having a gun fire right next to his head was great for his hearing. The foyer was a thin hallway. A small table with old, faded papers rested to his right. Stairs descended to the basement on his left. A little room with a sunken floor sat beyond an open door on his right. The sanctuary was just in front of him. "Mike!? You okay!?" Eli turned and raised his gun. A woman in a red dress hurried up from the basement, worry across her face. She froze at the sight of Eli. She started to take a step back, but Eli shook his head and motioned for her to take a seat in one of the rotting chairs. "Sir, we don't want any trouble. We're just here telling ghost stories in the basement, and-" "Your friend shoved a gun in my face. What kind of ghost stories are you telling that require an armed guard at the door? I'm looking for a woman with the last name 'Cain' who mutated a dog. Now, I get that people get upset sometimes, but doing arcane experiments on your dog is never okay. How many people are downstairs?" The woman sighed, "There are two downstairs and fifteen in the sanctuary. They're probably all getting ready to come see what that gunshot was about." "Alright. So what you're telling me is that I'll need about seventeen bullets." "He wasn't going to kill you. He was just trying to scare you off." "Let's do a thought experiment. I have a gun pointed at you. How does that make you feel?" "Scared." "Right. And what would you do if I let my guard down?" "Attack you or run." "Right again. Now, I don't want to hurt you. I'd like to not hurt anyone here. It would be great if I could have one case that doesn't end with me shooting someone. But, hey. We're here, so we gotta do what we gotta do. Why don't you leave and not look back?" The woman nodded and started for the door. "Drop your phone on the floor, please. I don't need you trying to call anyone." She groaned and dropped her phone. Eli stomped on it and motioned for her to leave. Eli watched the door close behind her and started for the sanctuary. He could deal with the two people who would come upstairs from behind him. He didn't want to deal with fifteen coming from behind him. He kicked the door to the sanctuary open and raised his gun, "Hands where I can see them!" Fifteen sets of eyes turned to face him. Their heads all lowered. They all bowed. "Well, this is the kind of greeting I can appreciate." Eli's eyes darted from person to person, "Now, who among you is playing with magic?" The room smelled like rot. But not rotting flesh. Just rotting wood. The pews were decayed and some had fallen apart. The sanctuary was tall, but not very wide. The windows were all boarded, only allowing thin threads of light to spill onto the congregation. "The Seeker has come." the woman in the center of them all raised her hand, "We have seen the signs. The Undying is consumed by fire and continues to walk. The Blackbird rises. The Immortal looks our way. The Destructive is born. The-" "I get it, okay? You're all creepy and you've got vague things to say that you just pulled out of your ass." Eli rolled his eyes, "Just... which one of you is Mrs. Cain?" The woman in the center drew back her hood, "I am she, Seeker. What has turned your path toward us here?" "Oh, you're gonna have to stop talking like that. You just sound like you're trying too hard. To answer your question, your husband is worried about you. He thinks you're cheating on him, and so I went with my assistant to interview Brad at your yoga studio." "My husband... What?" The woman shook her head, "Your *assistant* is the one who interrogated Brad!?" "Yeah, he's a real up and comer. According to my assistant, you're *not* stepping out on your husband. So, that's good. But it seems like you're leading a cult and doing dark magic... and you had an armed guard at the door, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're doing something evil. Am I right?" "We do not practice evil here! We merely act! No action is good or bad! What we do with them-" "I'm gonna stop you right there. I burned your evil romance novel." "You..." The woman's eyes got wide, "You did *what*!?" She motioned forward, "Bind the Seeker! Bring him to the altar!" "Whoa!" Eli clicked the safety off on his gun, "Hold up! I have about five pounds of C4 wired up under my coat! If you lay one hand on me, I will blow this whole damn place to shit!" "Then why did you bring a gun?" "As a bluff?" "Grab him!" Eli fired three times, dropping three people. He backpedaled for the door as hard as he could, firing two more shots into the cultists. Eli turned and threw his shoulder through the front door of the church, bursting out into the daylight. He sprinted as a gun fired. A bullet hit the ground by his feet. Seventeen cultists. Five dead. Twelve alive. Some were armed. One knew magic. "I've faced worse odds than this!" Eli shouted over his shoulder. Another gunshot echoed through the street. The bullet whizzed by his ear. Eli turned and fired the last three bullets from his gun. Three bodies dropped. Eli ejected the magazine and reloaded, cocking and firing again as he sprinted for his car. He shouted and waved his arms at Chase. Eli dove through the window and into the back seat. The car started and the tires screamed as the car lurched forward. Eli rolled up to the shattered window and emptied his gun at the cultists. Most of them ran for cover. One dropped. But Chase and Eli were speeding away before they recovered. \*\*\*\*\*\* Eli stormed into his office and threw his hat at the coat rack. He twisted around and dropped onto the couch. Seven cultists remained. Eight, if he counted the one he let go. They were unlikely to let him get away with that. Chase walked into the office and gave Rose a big smile as he dropped down into the chair in front of her desk. "Hey, Miss Day. We solved the case." "I thought you were just searching for a cheating wife." "We were, but then it turned out she wasn't cheating, but she's the leader of a small cult." "Yeah." Eli nodded, "Some sort of small cult obsessed with vague statements. The Undying. The Immortal. The bird or something. The Destructive. They called me 'The Seeker'. Buncha weird shit going on in that church." "Did they really say 'bird'?" Chase smiled a little. "Yeah. I think it was supposed to be threatening or something. Someone's scared of birds. Ornithophobia must be a *bitch*." "They're probably headed here for revenge." "What!?" Rose jumped up, "What kind of revenge!?" "Probably the kind that ends with us all in a pine box." Eli grumbled, reloading his gun, "Difference boxes, of course. I refuse to die if it means being buried with you. Anyway, there's a cot in my office. Rose, you should sleep in there. Chase, take the cot in Howard's old office. I'll sleep on the couch here." "We're just going to *wait* for murdering cultists to show up!?" Rose shook her head, "Hell *no*." "We aren't going to just wait. I've got guns, and I think Howard kept a shotgun in his office. Somewhere. Hard to tell under all that mess. Chase, do you mind finding that?" Eli looked to Rose, "If you could call Officer Brown and tell him about this whole thing, I think he could do something to get these people off our backs." Rose grumbled and walked over to her desk, dialing the police. Eli rested his arm on the armrest of the couch, keeping his gun aimed at the door. He was going to have a long night. \*\*\*\*\*\* "Mr. Thorne? You awake?" Eli groaned and his eyes rolled open, "Must have nodded off... But I'm awake now... are they here?" "No... and... uh... that's kinda what I want to talk to you about." Eli motioned for Chase to have a seat in front of him, "We will not be hunting them down." "We don't... erm... we don't have to, Mr. Thorne." Chase scratched his neck, "Officer Brown called and said that the old church was mostly burned down and they found seventeen bodies in there. Apparently, it got struck by lightning a lot." "That's convenient." "I don't think it is, actually." Chase pulled his phone from his pocket, "Officer Brown wanted me to show you this and ask if you know anything about it. He said they pulled it from an old security camera across the street." Eli rubbed his eyes and leaned in to look at the picture on Chase's phone. Sharp, black wings spread from the body of what looked like a man. The body was wreathed in blue lightning. The glowing blue eyes glared at the camera. "What the hell is this?" Eli whispered. "I think someone didn't like that the cult was looking into them." Eli's eyes got wide, "Or some*thing*... Chase... This... This is that bird they were talking about. What... what was it called?" Eli shook his head, "What... Undying... We blew up Howard because he wasn't dying when we shot him... What if Howard was the Undying?" Chase shrugged, "Probably nothing to worry about. Maybe we shouldn't look into this." "Maybe you're right." Eli whispered, "Call Mr. Cain and have him meet us here. Looks like we have to tell him that his wife wasn't cheating... and that she was killed by... this thing." Eli stared at the black-winged creature on Chase's phone. \*\*\*\*\*\* Nothing quite as mentally-draining as telling a man his wife was faithful until she was killed. However... the man had been true to his word and provided information on Jerome Farmer. It was just an address. Chase had looked into it. It was a building at Servator University on the north side of town. It looked like a history department if the picture from the map thing on Chase's computer was to be believed. "Alright, Chase. We need to go check out that building." Eli pulled his coat on, "It's the only lead we've got on Jerome Farmer, and we can't let it get any colder than it already is." "You got it, Mr. Thorne." Chase closed his computer and grabbed his jacket. The leather-bound journal fell out onto the floor. Eli bent to pick it up, holding it for a second to admire the winged insignia on the front, "You know... I didn't know until yesterday that you kept a journal." "Oh, it's, uh... it's a new hobby. I found an empty one in Mr. Malone's office after he... blew up." "Yeah... he kept some evil books in the office, but I guess some weren't all that bad." Eli offered the journal to Chase, "Well, I like the insignia here." "Thanks." Chase's blue eyes looked over at Eli, "It's a Blackbird.