text: Awaken beneath I did. Beneath what? I said to myself. No word or picture could describe the feeling of that moment. Beneath was not a state of being but a state of mind. My body was under, but felt as though it was held on to by a thread. I knew I was no more, knocking on deaths door felt like home. Again like a warm summers night. When the smell of baking from inside clouds your mind. And all there is for that one moment is that smell of happiness and purity. As beneath as I was a thrust came from below. And my body felt tighter around what was now me. But what was now me? Where had I awoke. My being grew closer to my body. Not by sight, for all was dark. But then a burst of light as though the sky had split, or I had just behold an angel flying over head. I lay now on the ground. My back pressed on the cool sand in a way I had not felt since I was but a boy. My heart felt young. I felt as though I had reversed time itself as easily as one could rewind a song. My heart felt happy and young. But my heart was not whole. It felt as if I was grasping at my youth like the greedy reach for every last penny. He shall try but he shall never feel whole knowing there is always one more cent to find, one more stride to take in a race so futile. And the pain in that one instant seemed to drag me back into the sand I had risen from. But resist I did and stand I did, to behold a beach stretching onward. To where it went was beyond my mind. But not beyond my soul. For in my core I knew I was never to know where this place was or went on to be. The tide was out and the sand was wet and flat and stretched in all directions. For I could see no more than 100 yards through the Crystal white fog, and to my right, in the distance, the sea. I stood and walked toward the sound of slowly lapping waves. I knew the sea well from my hometown. It was like a bed to fall down on every night, or a friend who’s face was so long gone it was astonishing to see it was real, and not just a Dream so far and long gone. As I reached the water, I dipped in a finger. One finger so small and insignificant. I stood back and looked down. My feet were slipped into sandals made of leather, so tight and new. My chest was covered by a white shirt so soft and proper. As were my legs. After I had pondered the sea I looked to my flanks. My mind knew not what to do but my heart was like a light in the darkness. And with my right foot I began to walk. To where I was unsure but to walk was better than to stand. It was peaceful. I felt as though my legs were strong and could carry me on passed the fog and out into the beyond. But I knew there was no beyond. For I was on the edge of beyond. Beyond what? I said. And quickly I answered. “Passed all. Passed everything that is known. Passed all good and evil, passed all happiness and sadness, passed every hope and dream of every child.” But to be on the edge felt like the beginning. Like your earliest memory. Like the small space you could say you were truly happy. And each step stemmed to pull me away from who I was. My memories stayed but became like a spec of dust compared to the earth. So small and insignificant and unimportant. But like the finger I had dipped into the great sea of infinity it was all I had and all I could claim. And I realized to be at peace was to be acceptant that you were unimportant and small and that you made no difference. And that nothing you do will matter. And as quickly as the snap of a finger, I was beyond, i was passed all reality and everything I had ever believed to be true. And as I kept walking the seas started to rise but, I did not run. And slowly it took me out into the infinite sea. And before I went under but one though crossed my mind. The leap off the edge, was final and all, it made cowards, it made heroes, and it made good and evil. But to leap into the unknown is to become one. I had taken the leap, I had become One. Then the sea took me away in one quiet wave.