text: Nefelibata, the land of the blindness. That's where we live, you only see the world as black and gray. That is until you meet your Saudade. Saudade means feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgic, but here in Nefelibata it basically means soulmate. In other words, your color undressor. As soon as you see the face of your Saudade, you’ll be able to see the world with color. As you can see, I’m not interested in meeting my Saudade. I mean, relying on someone else for the simple reason of seeing colors is absurd. I’m taking initiative in learning the colors of the world since I’m going to an all boys high school. There’s no way in a million years that I’ll find my Saudade there! Yes, I should’ve gone to a public school but I didn’t want to deal with the Orates. Orates are people who have found their Saudade and bully others for the stupid reason that they can’t see colors. I’m a Junior and so is Mikolouh. Miko, he’s my only friend. He’s a short, energetic, talkative boy. He’s been my friend since elementary school. No one can pull us apart, even if they tried. Next year, I’ll be in my last year of high school and I haven’t found my Saudade yet. I’m miserable. My mother left me when I was 4. The only thing I remember from her is that she always wore a bow on her hair. I still have the photo of her with the beautiful bow on her. The only reason I want to meet my Saudade is so I can see what color her bow was. Maybe I’ll be able to find her. “The sky is blue. The water is dark blue. Flowers have a variety of appealing colors. The grass is green. The sky is blue. The water is dark blue. Flowers- flowers have.. AGH!” I throw my index cards on the floor with rage. “I- Ian! It’s ok! You don't have to remember the colors of the world. I don’t know why you can’t just wait until you meet your Saudade...” Says my friend, Mikolouh. “Oh shut it, Miko.” I say jokingly. “Hey, did you hear? We’re getting a new student in our English class tomorrow. I heard that he always wears a black mask to cover his mouth.” Miko says. “Hm? That's weird. Wouldn't you be hot wearing a mask all day?” I say with a confused look on my face. “You’re right. Well, I guess we’ll ask him tomorrow!” “Jesus Miko. You’re always full of energy, huh?” I start to laugh at his expression. It’s the next day already. Miko stayed over since it was too dark for him to walk home. I wake Miko up with a push and I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get changed. By the time we’re done eating breakfast, it’s 7:15. School starts at 7:30. We make our way to my car and we leave in a breeze. It’s warm outside today. I feel a spark inside of me light up and I can tell today is going to be a good day. Is this what people call a “gut feeling?” We arrive at the school at 7:34 and we make our way to our first hour. Miko and I have all different classes except for 3rd hour and 6th hour which are English and Gym. Our first hours pass by fast and now It’s English. I see Miko saving a seat for me with the biggest smile on his face. He’s always so eager to see me. “Hey, how were your first two hours?” I say as I sit down next to Miko. “Horrible!!” Miko whines. “My teacher made us actually do work! Can you believe it?!” I start laughing at Miko’s whining as he grabs me by the collar of my shirt and shakes me. I put my hands next to my face as if I’m getting arrested and I laugh even more. He stops so suddenly that my laugh slowly fades away. He’s still holding on tightly to the collar of my shirt. It’s like he’s glued to my shirt. I look at him with a smile still on my face and I ask him what’s wrong. He looks at me, his face is so red that roses and ladybugs can't even compare to him. It seems like he’s trying to say something but nothing comes out. He was close, too close for my liking. When I tell you I was more confused than Patrick from Spongebob. To me, it seemed like he had a fever. I touched his forehead and It was hot. In fact, his whole face was hot but he showed no other symptoms for a fever. Then, the teacher walked in and he finally let go of my shirt and sat back down in his seat. “Miko..? If you don’t feel well you should go home.” “Ahhh, I feel great! Don’t worry, buddy!” Miko says as he smiles at me and throws a thumbs up. It wasn’t real. That smile... he’s hiding something. “Good afternoon students. Today we have a new student coming in. Please do your best to make him feel welcomed. Elijah, you can come in now.” The teacher says as he opens the door for Elijah. We all shift our heads to the door. A tall boy with black hair and a black mask walks in. “Please introduce yourself to the class, Elijah.” Elijah looks around until his eyes meet with mine. “My name’s Elijah. Please refrain from calling me Eli or any other nickname. Only my lover can call me that.” He finally stops looking at me and he goes to his seat. His eyes never left mine the whole time he introduced himself. I tried to look away but I could still feel him staring at me. It was kind of creepy. He didn’t even crack a smile! He’s practically eating me alive. You can tell he’s cold by the way he talked. His posture said it all too. He slouched the whole time and once he sat down, he slid all the way down with his shoulders touching the back of the seat. Who does he think he is? I know his type. If this were a public school with girls in it, he'd be flirting with them all over the place. I just know that he’s annoying. Miko and I should stay away from him. “Miko I don't think we should hang out with-” I stop with shockness in my eyes. I couldn’t even finish my sentence since Miko’s already walking up to Elijah. I sigh in disbelief and I put my head down to my desk. Miko’s amazing at making friends so I’m sure he’s gonna end up making Elijah his friend. “No, no, no, no, no!” I think to myself. Miko’s my only friend meaning that I’ll be forced to hang out with Elijah too. I feel someone patting my head. I automatically think It’s Miko. His touch is oddly comforting right now. I think “thank god Miko’s finally done talking to that stupid know-it-all Elijah.” I lifted my head from my desk and I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Elijah. I stand up quickly and I look around for Miko. He’s nowhere to be found. I look back at Elijah. He has a mask on but I can see his smirk. His hand is still on my head. He slides it down to my cheek. I then snap back into reality and I push him off. “W-where’s Miko?” I stuttered. “Down in the cafeteria. I told him that I wanted something sweet and he rushed down there like a dog.” Elijah’s eyes shifted from the floor to my eyes. “He didn’t know I was referring to you when I said I wanted something sweet.” I look at him in shock. I know he’s just teasing me. He probably knows that I don’t like him. That’s a good thing, right? Maybe he’ll stay away from me. I mean, I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with someone who I know thinks I'm annoying. I roll my eyes and I sit back down on my chair. I went back to the position I was in before he came to annoy me. I rest my face on my arms. I’ve got to be honest. What he said got me a little flustered. But that’d happen to anyone! I can feel Elijah’s presence and I motion to him to go away. He sits on top of my desk and asks “Hm? Did I do something wrong, Ian?” I can feel the smirk rising up on his face. I lift my head from my arms and I say “Go away, Elijah. I know what you’re doing. You want to be the best looking boy in our school so you’re getting to know your competition first, huh Elijah? I don’t know why you even bother If you’re just going to wear a mask all the time.” “Eli.” Elijah stops smirking and looks dead serious. His serious face is kind of petrifying. “What?” “Eli. Call me Eli.” He smirks again. “Wait but you- huh? But you said only your lover or whatever could call you that.” Eli gets the biggest smile on his face. I can tell by the squinting of his eyes and his cheeks going up. I look at him closely. You can tell that he’s really good looking. I wonder what he'd look like without a mask. “You lost in my face?” He starts laughing. “Am not! Hey, can I ask you something?” “Yes, of course you can get a kiss.” He starts making horrid kissing sounds. “What? No you idiot! I was gonna ask if I could see your face.” “My face? You sure?” Why is he asking If I’m sure. I asked for a reason. I just want to see if he’s really all that. I nod at him and he starts to slowly take off his mask. Bright. That’s all I see. Everything is bright. Where’s Elijah? Miko? Is this it? My head’s filled with questions that can’t be answered at the moment. All of a sudden I get a sharp pain on the side of my face. I hear someone in the distance calling my name. I run but I can’t find them. I call out to them, but no response. “Ian!” My eyes open. My first sight is Elijah. It looks like we’re at the nurses office. How did I get here? What even happened to me? I turn to Elijah with the most perplexed face. He laughs. Why is he laughing? “You’ve found me!” Elijah said. You've found me..?