text: In 2016, America elected a President so exceedingly fond of walls that he spent all his money designing one. He cared nothing about reviewing his soldiers, going to the theatre, or even riding in his golf cart, except to show off his new wall designs. He had a wall plan for every mile of the border, and instead of saying, as one might, about any other ruler, "The President’s meeting with his Cabinet," here they always said. "The President is looking at his border wall plans." In the great city where he lived, Washington DC, life was always gay. Every day, many strangers came to town, and among them one day came two politicians, Nancy and Chuck. They let it be known they were wall designers, and they said they could build the most magnificent wall imaginable. Not only were their colors and patterns uncommonly fine, but walls made of this material had a wonderful way of becoming invisible to anyone who was unfit for his office, or who was unusually stupid. "That would be just the wall design for me," thought the President. "If I built it, I would be able to discover which men in my Republic are unfit for their posts. And I could tell the wise men from the fools. Yes, I certainly must get some of the wall built for me right away." He paid the two politicians a large sum of money to end the shutdown and start work at once. They set up two factories and pretended to manufacture the materials needed for the wall, though there was nothing in the factories. All the finest bricks and the purest mortar which they demanded went into renovating the Capitol and other federal projects, while they worked the empty factories far into the night. "I'd like to know how those politicians are getting on with the wall," the President thought, but he felt slightly uncomfortable when he remembered that those who were unfit for their position would not be able to see the wall. It couldn't have been that he doubted himself, yet he thought he'd rather send someone else to see how things were going. The whole country knew about the wall's peculiar power, and all were impatient to find out how stupid their neighbors were. "I'll send my honest old Vice President, Mike, to the designers," the President decided. "He'll be the best one to tell me how the wall looks; for he's a sensible man and no one does his duty better." So the honest old VP went to the room where the two politicians sat working away in their empty factory. "Heaven help me," he thought as his eyes flew wide open, "I can't see anything at all". But he did not say so. Both the politicians begged him to be so kind as to come near to approve the excellent pattern, the beautiful colors. They pointed to the empty brick ovens and mortar mixers, and the poor old Vice President stared as hard as he dared. He couldn't see anything, because there was nothing to see. "Heaven have mercy," he thought. "Can it be that I'm a fool? I'd have never guessed it, and not a soul must know. Am I unfit to be the Vice President? It would never do to let on that I can't see the wall." "Don't hesitate to tell us what you think of it," said one of the politicians. "Oh, it's beautiful -it's enchanting." The old VP peered through his spectacles. "Such a design, what colors!" I'll be sure to tell the President how delighted I am with it." "We're pleased to hear that," the politicians said. They proceeded to name all the brick colors and to explain the intricate design. The old Vice President paid the closest attention, so that he could tell it all to the President. And so he did. The politicians at once asked for more money, more bricks and mortar mix, to get on with the wall construction. But it all went into other federal projects. Not a grain of sand went into the bricks or mortar, though they worked at their wall construction as hard as ever. The President presently sent another trustworthy official, Sen. Graham, to see how the work progressed and how soon it would be ready. The same thing happened to him that had happened to the Vice President. He looked and he looked, but as there was nothing to see in the factories he couldn't see anything. "Isn't it a beautiful wall?" the politicians asked him, as they displayed and described their imaginary design. "I know I'm not stupid," Sen. Graham thought, "so it must be that I'm unworthy of my good office. That's strange. I mustn't let anyone find it out, though." So he praised the material he did not see. He declared he was delighted with the beautiful brick colors and the exquisite design. To the President he said, "It held me spellbound." The entire city was talking of this splendid wall, and the President wanted to see it for himself while it was still in the factory. Attended by a band of chosen men, among whom were his two old trusted officials - the ones who had been to the factory - he set out to see the two politicians. He found them working with might and main, but without a brick in sight. "Magnificent," said the two officials already duped. "Just look, Mr. President, what colors! What a design!" They pointed to the empty factory, each supposing that the others could see the stuff. "What's this?" thought the President. "I can't see anything. This is terrible! Am I a fool? Am I unfit to be the President? What a thing to happen to me of all people! - Oh! It's very pretty," he said. "It has my highest approval." And he nodded approbation at the empty factory floor. Nothing could make him say that he couldn't see a wall. His whole retinue stared and stared. One saw no more than another, but they all joined the President in exclaiming, "Oh! It's very pretty," and they advised him to have a grand opening ceremony for a section of the wall at the Mexican border. "Magnificent! Excellent! Unsurpassed!" were bandied from mouth to mouth, and everyone did his best to seem well pleased. The President gave each of the politicians a button, with the title, "Grand Wall Designer." Before the ceremony, the politicians sat up all night and burned more than six candles, to show how busy they were finishing the President's new wall. They pretended to measure the bricks and finish the mortar. They made cuts in the air with huge trowels. And at last they said, "Now the President's new wall is ready for him." Then the President himself came with his Cabinet to El Paso, and the politicians each raised an arm as if they were pointing to something. They said, "These are the bricks, here's the mortar, and this is the mantle," naming each part of the wall. "All of the components are manufactured of the lightest materials, but with maximum strength. One would almost think it wasn’t a wall, but that's what makes it so fine." "Exactly," all the Cabinet agreed, though they could see nothing, for there was nothing to see, except a big sign that said, “Trump’s Magnificent Wall”. Chuck and Nancy threw a huge curtain over the sign and the section of the ‘wall’ to be opened. "If the President will condescend to pull the curtain and reveal the wall," said the politicians, "all the attendees of your Trump Rally will see what a magnificent wall we have constructed." The President pulled the curtain and the politicians pretended to show him the wall. They took him for a tour of the wall, pointing out the features. "How well the President’s wall looks. Isn’t it becoming?!" He heard on all sides, "That design, so perfect! Those brick colors, so suitable! It is a magnificent wall." Then the Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, announced: "The President’s rally attendees are waiting to see the wall." "Well, I'm supposed to be ready," the President said, and turned again for one last look at the wall. "It is a remarkable wall, isn't it?" He seemed to regard his wall with the greatest interest. The Cabinet members who were in attendance stooped low and reached for the floor as if they were picking up some bricks. Then they pretended to lift and hold them high. They didn't dare admit they had nothing to hold. So off went the President to his rally. Everyone in the crowd declared, "Oh, how fine is the President’s new wall! Doesn’t it fit the border to perfection? And see how long it is!" Nobody would confess that he couldn't see anything, for that would prove him either unfit for his position, or a fool. No wall the President had displayed before was ever such a complete success. "But there isn’t a wall!" John Kelly said. "Did you ever hear such innocent prattle?" said VP Mike. But the crowd all began to whisper to one another, "There isn’t a wall. John Kelly says there isn’t a wall." "But there isn’t a wall!" the whole city cried out at last. The President shivered, for he suspected they were right. But he thought, "This rally has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his Cabinet held high the bricks that weren’t there at all. So, from the utterance of John Kelly, the country came to realize that there was, in fact, no such thing as Trump’s Magnificent Wall. But that is how Chuck and Nancy brought the shutdown to an end. Trump had his ‘wall’ and the federal government got its funding and all lived happily ever after...well, until the next shutdown.