text: [Fantasy] Fear. I wanted to share with something I thought through earlier this evening. I want to preface this by saying that America is a terrifying place right now. While I cannot relate to the experiences of those fighting right now, I can sympathize with fear. I fully, 100% stand with #blacklivesmatter. Please enjoy, this is not meant to spark debate or politics, it is meant to simply be a good read and to bring those who can find it a little peace of mind. - I sat on the ground in front of their rocky edge. I looked up at the great white wolf lounging on it and it stared back with pupiless eyes that looked like the cosmos with stars shooting back and forth. Their eyes were always just a little unsettling but mesmerizing nonetheless. "I am afraid and I don't know why." The wolf tilted its head and spoke with a voice that was overlapped with different tones. Feminine, masculine, musical and menacing. "What do you have to fear?" I looked down. "Nothing. None of what is happening right now could harm me, I am ashamed of this fact but it doesn't make it any less true." "Others choices and decisions are not inherently your fault. Neither are factors out of your control." They replied easily. "Are you doing your part to help those in danger?" I squeezed my eyes shut. "No. I have made my ideals and views clear that I stand with those who have been wronged for countless generations but I have not actively done anything." "Why?" "Because I can barely keep my own head above water right now, resources are stretched thin, old habits threaten to overtake me again and it takes all my energy just to maintain my mental stability." "Then you have done all you can." They said in a matter of fact way. I jerked my head up to look at them. I felt grief, shame, self loathing and anguish threaten to consume me. "But I could do more!! If I just push myself that much more I could be a real presence and fight to make a difference!" "Do not succumb to the sadness you are feeling right now, it is familiar and cathartic but it will not bring you peace." They said firmly with a low snarl at the start of their words. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes in effort to calm myself. They Relaxed and spoke again. "Your presence will not do anyone good if it is only self-loathing that drives you. Even if you sacrificed your life it would do more harm than good. You would become exhausted and stretched too thin, then your loved ones and those closest to you would loose you to pain and sadness." I sighed. "But... They need me." "They are strong, they need people who can fight with a clear mind. You are doing your best for yourself. Your moral standing is correct and your beliefs are pure. You value the lives of the down trodden, the beaten, the abused and those subjected to torment for their innocence above all else. If all you can do for now is be okay then that is what you must do. You're not wrong for focusing on your own happiness and you matter because you love and believe in all things synonymous with peace, equality, and equity. You deserve time to be okay and find stability because neither do you seek out or spread hatred, nor do you condone it. You have done nothing wrong." I looked up with tears in my eyes. "But I could do so much more if I was stronger." "You are as strong as you can be right now- and that is enough. The change will come and you will have stood on the just side. Be proud of your efforts, be angry for not being able to do more will not bring you peace." - A/N: the moral of this story is that if you cannot do more to help the ongoing battle than just continuing about your life while calling out prejudice, cruelty, arrogance or anything like that, you're not wrong or not doing enough. Those who can fight are fighting and if all you can do right now is be okay, that's okay. Be good to yourself and stay safe so you may live to fight another day and spread the message of acceptance and intolerance for any kind of bigotry or exclusion of innocent people.