text: INT. - OLIVIA’S AND HER ROOMMATE TIM’S APARTMENT - SATURDAY EVENING Phone rings. OLIVIA (Answers phone) Hello Jane. JANE Will you answer when I’m in a car crash and calling from a stranger’s phone? OLIVIA If I don’t recognize the caller ID, I don’t answer. And if you’re in a car crash, I hope you have the sense to dial emergency before calling me. JANE Don’t ever let me use you as my emergency contact. Olivia huffs. JANE Speaking of emergencies, I have been summoned to Scranton. Can you stay here with Babs until Sunday? OLIVIA Well, I guess I can cancel my date. JANE You’d do that for me? OLIVIA I’ll be there in 30 minutes. Olivia hangs up. She scrambles to pack an overnight bag. Her cat, Percy, watches from a chair in the corner of the room. OLIVIA (Talking to her cat) Mama’s gonna be gone for a while but I’ll be back soon. Percy purrs and Olivia's shoes clack on the hardwood floor, the door closes and locks. EXT. - OLIVIA’S AND TIM’S APARTMENT INT. - JANE’S HOUSE - SUNDAY MORNING The bed creaks as OLIVIA sits up and yawns. She shuffles to the bathroom, turns the water on and off, then ambles into the kitchen and steps in a puddle of urine. OLIVIA Whoa, good morning. Ignoring a dog in the morning is not a good idea. Where is Babs anyway, hmm? I’d hide too if I were her. Olivia gets down on her hands and knees and crawls to the antiseptic wipes on the shelf under the sink. OLIVIA (Grumbling) Why couldn’t they have gotten a cat? Olivia pops the top on the container of antiseptic wipes, pulls out a disposable cloth and scours her foot. She pulls out three more wipes to mop up the mess, her face grimacing with disgust. OLIVIA Bring on the coffee. Olivia opens several of the cupboards searching for coffee while mumbling to herself, then crouches to rummage under the sink. Babs, the dachshund, trots over, ready to play. OLIVIA (To Babs) There you are, I wish I could share your enthusiasm. -- Doesn’t your mommy drink coffee? Olivia scratches the dog on the rear, stands and nearly collides with the bottom edge of an open cabinet door. She quickly jerks her head to the side but inadvertently connects with the corner of the ajar cabinet on her left. OLIVIA Ow, damnit. She winces when she feels the sting and massages the area with the heel of her palm before slamming the open cupboard door shut in a flash of fury. OLIVIA (Trying to remain calm) Okay, no coffee. (Sarcastically) Do you drink milk? Olivia opens the refrigerator and chuckles when she sees the coffee. OLIVIA Found you. She grabs a filter and scoops the coffee into the machine, breathing in the comfortable, robust scent. OLIVIA (Inhaling) Ah, that’s the stuff. While it trickles into the carafe, she scoops and pours kibble into Babs’s dish and refills her water bowl. OLIVIA And one-half cup of chow for Babs. The dog chomps, snorts, and laps up the water. OLIVIA (To Babs) Be right back. Olivia patters to the bedroom. She changes out of her PJs then returns to the kitchen and fills a to-go mug with coffee. She tucks a plastic bag under her arm. OLIVIA Don’t forget the poop bag. Come on buddy. The twosome takes a short walk around the block. The sun is scorching, so Olivia decides that she will take advantage of her neighbor’s pool. She stops at her apartment to put on her swimsuit, Babs in tow. When she enters the bedroom, Percy looks up from his chair. OLIVIA (to Percy) Just checkin in buddy. Percy mews and lowers his head, eyeing Olivia and the panting dog suspiciously. Olivia puts on her swimsuit while talking to a growling Babs. Then... OLIVIA Come on Babs. See you later. (To Percy) The door to the apartment closes and Olivia returns to Jane’s house with Babs. OLIVIA And we’re back. Olivia removes Babs’s leash and Babs trots away. OLIVIA See you for dinner, I guess. Babs trots over to her bed in the corner of the living room, twirls, and settles noisily into contentment. Olivia strolls across the room and grunts as she tugs the sliding glass door open, then steps onto the warmth of the patio. She sprints toward the inground pool, feet slapping against the cement, and dives into the water, torpedoing to the opposite side. When she emerges, a miniscule, worm-like creature inches its way toward the injury behind her ear and wiggles through the puncture wound. She hoists herself onto the sidewalk, grabs the skimmer, and drags it across the surface of the water in an effort to catch drowned insects and fallen leaves in the net. OLIVIA (Humming) When she is through, she dives into the water and swims a few laps. She climbs on a floating raft. Soon her stomach begins to rumble. She rolls into the cool water before toweling off and going inside the house by way of the sliding doors. She throws a Hot Pocket into the microwave and the buttons beep as she starts the timer. She and Babs hear a vehicle trundle onto the gravel driveway. The dog darts from her bed, nails clicking on the slate tile of the foyer. She sits in front of the door, willing it to open, her tail whipping to and fro. Her ears perk and she freezes as her master’s voice approaches. Olivia opens the door and Babs yaps with delight as Jane pushes past her. OLIVIA (To Jane) Hey, welcome home. JANE (To Babs) Make room for the suitcase buddy. Jane drops her duffle bag and hands Olivia flowers before picking up Babs. Babs licks her face. JANE (To Babs) I missed my Babsy. We’re so happy to see each other. Yes we are. JANE (To Olivia) I forgot your favorite flower so carnations will have to do. OLIVIA How’s the family situation? I hope all is well in Scranton. JANE The situation has been solved. Microwave beeps. OLIVIA Oh, I popped in a Hot Pocket. JANE Stay, eat. Glad you made use of the pool, the water needed to be stirred a bit. OLIVIA Actually, I’ll take my meal to go. Percy is going to think I abandoned him. Olivia caresses the dog. OLIVIA I enjoyed your company, Babs. EXT. - JANE’S HOUSE INT. - OLIVIA’S AND TIM’S APARTMENT - MONDAY MORNING Percy pounces on Olivia's chest and yawns. OLIVIA (Open’s her eyes.) Phew, tuna breath. Home sweet home. Percy leaps to the floor and Olivia throws back the sheet. She saunters to the bathroom and looks into the mirror while folding back her ear to check her wound. OLIVIA (Yelling) Tim, can you take a look at something? I’m in the bathroom. TIM (Yelling) I told you that we need to keep this relationship platonic. OLIVIA (Yelling) Ha ha, just get your ass in here. Tim stands outside the bathroom door. TIM Yes ma’am? Olivia Does this look infected? Tim examines Olivia’s wound. TIM It’s a little swollen, there’s a puncture wound on the tip of the lump. (Chuckling) The lump has a tail, like a polliwog. Put some triple antibiotic on it. OLIVIA What, a tale? TIM Not a literal tale, there's like a bald spot trailing the lump about an inch long. OLIVIA Yeah, ok. I need to get ready for work. Olivia shoves Tim out of the bathroom and shuts the door. After getting ready for the day, she walks to the kitchen, pours a cup of coffee, and pulls out a chair. OLIVIA Butternut muffins and bananas, yum. TIM Anything exciting happening at the Institution today? OLIVIA You mean the assisted living facility? I’m planting trees in the nursery. TIM Nursery? Does calling a garden a nursery make the old people feel younger? OLIVIA Ask your mama. TIM Oooooooo burn. Olivia finishes her coffee and feeds Percy. OLIVIA (To Percy) Have a great day baby. TIM (To Olivia) You to Sweetie. Olivia slams the door. EXT. - OLIVIA’S AND TIM’S APARTMENT The assisted living residence where Olivia works as the seasonal landscaper is less than a mile away, so she hops on her bicycle. Later, when she arrives home, she sags on the stool in front of the vanity mirror in her bedroom. INT. - OLIVIA’S AND TIM’S APARTMENT Olivia sags on the stool in front of the vanity mirror in her bedroom. OLIVIA Mirror, mirror, on the wall. She takes the pins and elastic out of her coiled bun. Several loose hairs catch in the nylon bristles of her brush. OLIVIA Huh, well, they say you lose a hundred hairs a day. She frowns but braids her hair as usual before showering and going to bed. EXT. - MONDAY INT. - TUESDAY MORNING Cat yowling. OLIVIA (Sleepily) I’m coming, hold it for mama. Percy’s body repeatedly jerks then he vomits. By the time Olivia cleans it up, she is running late for work, so she doesn’t take the time to unravel her braid from the night before. TIM (Yells to Olivia as she rushes out the door.) Have a great day. Door slams. After work on Tuesday, Olivia collapses onto the stool in front of the vanity mirror and unlaces her messy braid from the previous night. Several strands get tangled between her fingers. OLIVIA What the...? That’s more than a hundred hairs. This can’t be good. Not wanting to fuss with her hair any further, she leaves it loose, showers and goes to bed. EXT. - TUESDAY On Wednesday morning. Percy wakes Olivia by kneading her ample breasts. OLIVIA Hey Percy cat, careful with the claws. When she lifts her hand up to pet him, he leaps from her chest and her hand flops onto something silky and sleek, like a cat’s tail. Her eyes shoot open, and she sits up in a dreamy panic. Tassels and tuffs of Olivia’s hair cover the pillow beside her OLIVIA (Astonished) What, my hair? She hurries to the bathroom mirror. OLIVIA (Voice escalating) No, no, no, no, no, no... Tim runs from the kitchen. OLIVIA (To Tim) Shave my head. TIM What? OLIVIA Every day I lose more hair. I look like a freaking witch. (Hesitates, then sighs with frustration) Never mind. Olivia opens the medicine cabinet a grabs Tim’s electric razor. TIM Your hands are shaking, I’ll do it. Tim starts shaving Olivia’s head. TIM Holy twisting trail! OLIVIA Tell me! TIM Remember that polliwog tail? OLIVIA You mean the bald patch? TIM It seems to have grown. OLIVIA Grown? TIM More like spread. OLIVIA (Panicky) Tim! TIM There’s a trail on your scalp. Like a tiny lawn mower got out of control. OLIVIA What are you talking about? TIM Let me finish shaving, then you can see for yourself. (After a few seconds) Damn. Hold on. Tim gets a hand mirror from Olivia’s bedroom and gives it to her. Olivia O--M--G where did this lump come from? Olivia presses the quarter-sized lump at one end of the meandering trail. The lump ripples. OLIVIA Squeeze it. TM Um, no. OLIVIA Come on, it’s awkward for me, I can’t see what I’m doing. Olivia opens the cabinet and knocks pill bottles and bandages from the shelves into the sink. A pair of toenail scissors catches her eye. OLIVIA Maybe I could stab it with these. TIM Give me that pack of razors. Olivia tosses the scissors into the sink and finds the razors. Tim removes a blade. TIM I need alcohol. OLIVIA (Impatient) Just do it! TIM Okay, okay, hold still. Olivia lets out a squeal as Tim slices the surface of the lump. TIM Holy extra-terrestrial, something is trying to force its way out. OLIVIA Pull it out. TIM It’s too quick. Come on you bastard. I got it. I think it’s the head, it’s hard as a gold nugget. OLIVIA Did you ever hold a gold nugget? TIM My father lost a gold filling once, I found it . Squelching noises. TIM I’m pulling. The lump is going down like this thing is uncoiling as I pull. (Seconds later) The lump is completely deflated now, but it’s still coming. OLIVIA I could feel it slithering beneath my skin. TIM Out. OLIVIA Thank goodness. Tim lifts the lid on the toilet with the intent of flushing the slimy sucker, but it starts to curl upward toward his wrist, startling him, and he drops it on the floor. TIM Aww, shit! OLIVIA What? TIM It almost bit me. OLIVIA Did you drop it? TIM It’s coiled near the baseboard. Percy prances over, sniffing and batting at it with his paw. OLIVIA Percy no, shoo, get, don’t do it. Percy scoops the creature into his mouth and escapes through the open doorway. TIM I think he ate it. The cat pauses in the hallway to gag, half of the thing dangling from his chops. Tim pounces. TIM Gotcha! --Son of a. Percy’s slick fur slips easily from Tim’s grasp, and he darts ahead a few more feet, pausing again to gag. Tim pounces again, reaching for the scruff of his neck. TIM No use struggling, pal. Tim slides the entity from the gagging cat’s throat and scrambles to the kitchen sink, flicks the switch, and drops the parasite into the gurgling garbage disposal. EXT- WEDNESDAY Olivia arrives home from work on Friday. TIM So, was your new due a hit? OLIVIA Actually, it was. Gladys is my biggest fan. She says it reminds her of the winding waterslides her grandchildren love so much. TIM I like it too. You look badass. It goes nicely with your piercings and tats. Olivia enters her bedroom and finds her bed strewn with Percy’s hairballs. OLIVIA (Worried) Percy, here kitty kitty. Percy saunters over to Olivia purring. He rolls onto his back, exposing his belly. OLIVIA (yelling) Tim. Tim stands in the doorway to Olivia’s room. He looks at Percy, the cat has one long, ‘S’ shaped bald streak mowed through his fur. TIM Is that an ‘S’ on his belly? Super Cat. OLIVIA This isn’t funny. TIM (Reluctantly) The creature may have torn while I was pulling it out. OLIVIA What!? My poor baby. TIM He’ll get it out naturally. OLIVIA I’m putting you on litter duty. TIM You say that like it’s something new to me. Eww, is that a hairball? OLIVIA Don’t change the subject. TIM No, look. That hairball’s moving. On the bed, a hairball twitches. Tim moves closer. TIM I believe Percy expelled the last of it.