text: "It's like a ringing, maybe a pitch, no, a melody, yeah, there are words," Bob explained. "I don't know what to tell you, Bob; there's nothing wrong with you," the doctor said as he shone a light into his ear. "What do you mean nothing is wrong with me? I came in last week; every time I raised my right hand, I experienced a sensation in my thumb; it was like pulsating pleasure; yeah, I felt pleasure in my thumb," Bob said as he rubbed his thumb. "I'm sorry to say this because we've been friends for almost 20 years, but maybe an ENT isn't what you need; maybe a psychologist." "You're calling me crazy! Is that what you're saying? There it is again; Earth will end in thirty days," Bob said, gesturing to his ear. The doctor turned off his light and shook his head. "Look, Bob, you came in last month and said you had leprosy." "Can you blame me? Quasimodo sneezes on me in the subway, and I begin to develop spots." "You were wearing a spotted shirt!" "I don't have to take this; I'll get a second opinion; my cousin is a hair doctor in White Plains; I'll go see him." "Alright. Do what you want." "What did you say?" the doctor asked as Bob opened the door. "I didn't say anything." "Is this some kind of trick?" the doctor scratched his ear. "Are you all right? You look like I did when I thought I had trichinosis." The doctor had a seat and rubbed his head, "Yeah, I remember; your neighbor was cooking tofurky, and it smelled bad. There it is again." "What is?" "I hear it... Earth will end in thirty days." Bob taps his ear, "See, I told ya, the Earth's gonna end in 30 days; my luck, I just paid my cable bill for the whole year." It went viral, and out of the blue, everyone on Earth heard a voice in their head saying, "Earth will end in 30 days." Religious service attendance tripled, businesses were looted, and human society swiftly deteriorated into chaos. Government services ceased, and the President walked off the job. After one week, the White House's front lawn resembled a burning man, someone drew a penis on the Liberty Bell, and the constitution was found on the back of a toilet next to a People magazine from last June. But there was one group that remained hopeful. A group of scientists gazed up at the sky. "It just flipped to 22 days; that last one was 22." "Yeah, mine just flipped as well." At night, scientists worldwide looked for asteroids, alien spaceships, and, who knows, a guy with a beard and robe. But nothing. They looked into climate change, EMP from the sun, the state of all supervolcanoes, nuclear weapons, and what Charlie Sheen was up to. There was even talk of building a bunker. A well-respected panel was formed to choose 5,000 people for the bunker, and 2,500 people between the ages of 10 and 20 were chosen at random. Skyler Smith of Santa Clara was the lucky winner of a Mountain Dew cap sweepstakes. The panel personally chose 1,500 people between the ages of 21 and 40 with specified skill sets based on what would be required in a new society. Taylor Swift was included because it was decided that the Billboard Hot 100 must go on. Finally, 1,000 people aged 41 to 60 were chosen for their contributions to human society up to this point in history. When Elon Musk was left off the list, he pouted before he boarded his rocket and flew to his secret Mars colony. The countdown had reached ten days, and they began to bring food, water-making equipment, and other supplies into the bunker. However, on the day of the move-in, they discovered that they had locked the keys inside the bunker, and the project was canceled. Wars broke out all across the world as borders became meaningless, credit cards were maxed out, and people stopped paying their car insurance bills. On this day, a scientist in Switzerland believed he had spotted an asteroid, but it was later determined that he had been eating cheese near his lens, and the discovery was a false alarm. This false hope caused many people to stop fighting because they had to consider living next door to someone they had just tried to murder. They used to merely argue over how long the hedges were; now, there's that awkward moment when you remember your neighbor had a machine gun to your head. It was only one day to the end of the world; it was eerily quiet everywhere. Pedro Valente of Santa Fe, New Mexico, won Powerball and took the lump sum. Sara Nickerson of Sarasota, Florida, intended to try cocaine for the first time but accidentally spilled it into white flour, so she just made brownies instead, and when Tegan Richards of Denver, Colorado, awoke from a ten-year coma, relatives and friends raced to his bedside and broke the news that the world was going to end today. Humans from all around the world looked around at the death and destruction that had taken place in the previous 30 days. The Earth had already been destroyed; they had done it on their own and no longer needed the countdown. Tick, tick, tick, everyone waited for the fateful time with family and loved ones, and the moment had come. "Update complete. Restarting..." Bob sat up and paid close attention. "Welcome to Earth 2.0, now with Wordle." "Ohhh, it wasn't the Earth will end in 30 days, but the Earth update will end in 30 days. Oh well, that's on me, everyone," Bob said as he rubbed his thumb.