text: “So what?” Vijay said. “It’s an eclipse. It gets dark. What’s the big deal?” Robin took a sip from her drink, trying to look anywhere but at Vijay. The taste of strawberries from her daiquiri was a welcome reprieve from this loser. “People like it,” Robin said as politely as she could. “It brings people together, don’t you think?” Vijay shoved another handful of peanuts into his mouth. Robin watched him munch on them. She imagined kissing that salty mouth, and winced. “I guess,” Vijay said with a shrug. “So how many of these things have you been to?” “Two,” Robin said. It was actually six, but Vijay didn’t need to know that. “I’m at these things every month,” Vijay said. Robin took another sip. She glanced at the tables to her left, then her right. Where was Freda? She couldn’t find her in the ocean of evenly spaced tables around her. She had talked her into this. What a way to spend a once-in-two-decades event. “You looking for someone?” “No,” Robin said. “Sorry, can we start over?” Vijay huffed and checked the clock on the table. “We don’t have long left, you know. It’s happening soon.” Robin looked up at the sky, then blinked as her eyes met the sun’s blaze. “You shouldn’t look directly at the sun,” Vijay said. “Thanks dude. You always full of good advice?” “Just looking out for you. Women like to feel protected.” Robin shrugged. She couldn’t disagree with that. “That’s what my mom always said.” Robin snickered. She couldn’t believe his ability to ruin a promising turning point. “What?” “Nothing,” she said, stifling laughter, “sorry.” “I can’t believe you’re laughing at me.” There was then a sudden movement of everyone in the tables surrounding them, as they reached for their cardboard glasses and shifted in their chairs. It was happening. “Quick, put them on,” Vijay said, reaching for his glasses. Robin put them on and hastily shifted her chair to the side. She looked up and saw it. “Wow,” Vijay said in that dumb, loud voice of his. Robin furrowed her brow and tried to ignore him. Freda might not be here, but this was a moment she wanted to capture in her mind forever. She hoped she was also with a Vijay, or someone even worse. “You’re not looking at it right,” Vijay said. “Shut up,” Robin said. “Don’t look directly at it. You’ll hurt your eyes.” Robin ignored him. “Look, I’ll show you,” he said. Still staring up at it, she felt her glasses being torn off her head. “What the--“ “See,” Vijay said, “you ruined it.” Robin shielded her eyes and stopped herself from snapping at this idiot. Screw politeness, she wanted to throw the table on top of him. “Give me those, now.” “You’ll listen to me this time?” “You almost *blinded* me.” She groped at his hands and felt cardboard on her fingertips. “You’re being rude,” he said. She gritted her teeth and tugged. It slipped out of his hands. “Now look what you’ve done. That’s what you get for being *rude*.” She looked down at the torn remains of her cardboard glasses. --- “Robin, come back!” She couldn’t look back at him. He’d ruined it. Ruined *everything*. Now she had to wait another *twenty years*. Why had she listened to Freda? Eclipse *speed dating*? Who had ever heard of such a thing? The couples staring at her as she stormed past could go to hell. At length she made it to the parking lot, and she heard footsteps on the crunchy gravel behind her. They were getting faster. Was he following her all the way to her car? She turned around to find Vijay, bent over, hands on his legs as he took heaving breaths. “I’m... sorry,” he said with difficulty. “Don’t follow me,” she said. “We’re done.” “Didn’t you come with your friend?” “I... I didn’t think of that. I’ll wait for her in the car.” “Want me to sit with you?” “Vijay...” “You’ll be by yourself.” “I’m fine with that.” She turned around and made towards her car. “Can you tell me what I did wrong?” She laughed louder than she meant to. Teach *him*? Where could she start? “Vijay,” she said, “do you really want me to do that?” “I don’t know,” he said. He had reached the car, and looked like a lost puppy. Maybe his request was genuine, and not a creepy way of getting close to her again. “Fine,” she said with a huff. “Get in.” --- “You’re wrong,” Vijay said. “That doesn’t make any sense.” “You’re doing it again,” Robin said. “When you’re talking to a girl--or anyone, really--don’t tell them they’re wrong. Dates are about emotion, not logic.” “Oh,” he said, and then looked out of the windshield ponderously. “And I’m not wrong. You want your date to enjoy spending time with you. You don’t want to just impress them with your job, what school you went to.” “Everything my mom taught me was wrong, then.” “Not everything. She was right about the protecting thing you said. People like a gentleman. Just don’t be condescending about it, okay?” “Oh god,” he said. “You think I’m condescending, too?” “Um...” “That means yes. Just be honest.” “Yeah. Like, *really* condescending.” “When? During our speed date?” “Yes,” she said, staring at him, stretching out the word for emphasis. “You kept telling me I was wrong about the eclipse, and then, you took my freaking glasses off my head when I was looking at the sun.” He shrugged. “You’re not supposed to look at the sun.” “We were looking at the eclipse. It’s up in the sky. Therefore, I was looking up. QED.” “QE... what?” “Never mind. Just stop thinking you know better than everyone else.” “Oh,” he said, staring out ponderously again, as if a lightbulb had flashed in his head. “Aren’t you, like, thirty?” “Yeah? What of it?” “Never mind. Just... can’t believe this is new to you.” “I’m trying, alright? I’m sorry, I messed everything up.” She smiled. Maybe this idiot was worth spending time with, after all. He was listening, after all, and god knew that was a rare thing. “You didn’t mess *everything* up,” she said, shaking her head. “I made a fool of myself. I stormed off. God, I got grass stains and mud on my favourite flats.” He chuckled. “Yeah, flats weren’t a great choice for outdoor speed dating.” She grinned. “Alright, alright. Whoever heard of outdoor speed dating during an eclipse?” “Hard to see the eclipse from inside a restaurant.” “Or a movie theater,” he said. “Yeah... well, maybe we can have that fresh start I talked about.” Vijay’s face brightened up. “Really?” She tried on her best attempt at a wry smile. “No correcting me?” “No. No way,” he said, smiling. Seconds past as they looked at each other. A knock on the driver’s side window shocked them both out of the moment. Robin looked out, cringed, and wound down the window. “Vijay, this is Freda. My best friend, and my worst enemy.” “You got something to say?” Freda said. “I’m sorry?” Robin said, still cringing. “Not nearly enough,” Freda said, shaking her head. One side of her mouth twisted into a half-smile. “You made up?” “I think so?” Robin said, turning to Vijay. “Yeah,” Vijay said. “She’s right.”