text: “The sun’s shining and my balls are fucking itchy,” Lenslo said. “What makes this day any different from the God’s damn rest of ‘em?” El-Dot turned its head and barked just once. “Don’t play games with me, El-Dot. Use your voice like a good boy.” “Master, I find this entire situation very perturbing,” El-Dot said, turning his head almost entirely sideways. “What makes today different?” “Absolutely nothing. We stand here in the middle of nowhere, doing fucking nothing. Everything I went through, all of that bloody pain and suffering. For this. For solitude.” “For peace though, Lenslo. And survival.” “I don’t think my fucking loneliness has been worth any of this. I fucked up bad, El-Dot. I have to fix this. Come on, let’s go back. Let’s restore order. My life for all of theirs.” “If that is what you desire, Master.” Lenslo turned West and from the middle of a dusty wasteland started walking back to where it all began. * The sun was fucking harsh and too God’s damn hot. Why on Earth he had thought that walking halfway across Australia through the sunlight hours was a good idea was anyone’s guess. “El-Dot?” Lenslo sighed. “Yes, Master?” El-Dot asked effortlessly. The heat did not matter to this fucking robot. “Where are we in this endless desert?” “At our current pace we are six hundred hours from the Eastern edge of the Red Centre.” “Six hundred? Fuck me blind. I’m gonna die out here, El-Dot.” “You’re welcome to ride, Master.” El-Dot wiggled his hind quarters. “Hey, El-Dot. Fuck you. I will not ride you.” “Using alternate methods of transport would get us to our destination in four hundred hours. It is not a judgement of your abilities, but a helpful proposal.” “Still, El-Dot,” Lenslo grunted. “I’ll fucking walk.” * Jesus fucking Christ, kangaroos. A million of them if there was one. A great big roaming herd, bounding across literally out of nowhere. Lenslo froze and just watched as twilight dwindled and the majestic creatures made their way from one horizon to the next. “That brings a tear to my eye, El-Dot.” “It is rather impressive that so many have survived and thrived out here, Master.” “Never thought I’d see the day. El-Dot, get me a straggler.” El-Dot bounded off gleefully, chasing down a stray kangaroo. It took one down like a lion mauling a zebra and they tangled until El-Dot snapped its neck in its mechanised jaws. It dragged the limp animal back to Lenslo and dropped it at its feet. “As you requested, Master.” “Start a fire, El-Dot. It’s time to have ourselves a feast.” * “Six hundred hours,” Lenslo laughed, thrusting his hands into the air as he collapsed to his knees in red sand. “Six hundred fucking hours, El-Dot.” “We made it in five hundred and eighty six hours, Master,” El-Dot said, ever so casually. “Fuck me, I don’t rightly care. We’re so close now I can taste it. This beautiful red sand is gonna lead us home.” “Home is thousands of kilometres South-East, Master.” “Argh, damn it, El-Dot, I meant home in a figurative sense. Home to people. Home away from all of this fucking emptiness.” “Of course, Master. Your destination is now forty two hours away.” Lenslo slowly rose from the dirt without even bothering to dust himself off. It was just another layer to his filth. He put one foot in front of the other and trudged onwards. Home sweet mother fucking home, just days away. * “Master, are you alright?” El-Dot inquired, pushing against Lenslo’s leg as he staggered ever onwards. “Huh?” Lenso stammered. “You’re collapsing, Master.” Lenslo fell to his knees and collapsed forwards, draping over El-Dot’s back as it quickly moved in front of him. A tube snaked out of El-Dot’s torso and forced into Lenslo’s mouth. Clean, fresh water filled Lenslo’s mouth and he greedily swallowed it down. He hadn’t suffered from low hydration throughout their journey, but wow did water taste good. Something else had made Lenslo collapse, and he had no idea what the fuck it was. All he felt was an overpowering lack of energy, and this when he was just hours away. He tried to lift himself up and take his own weight. Instead he slid sideways and slammed into the sand. Everything was heavy, so damn heavy. He slid into the dark. * “Wake up, Lenslo.” “Who the fuck?” Lenslo said sleepily, opening his eyes to blinding light. Someone was holding his head off the ground, pressing his cheeks in. “Who do you think? Didn’t you come all this way to see me?” Lenslo blinked and the faint outline of a man resolved in the harsh light. “Me?” “You’ve almost got it.” “Olsen?” “There you go. That didn’t take you long.” “How? Where are we?” Lenslo tried to work out how the hell he was looking into the face of his clone. “You don’t remember? You walked all the way out here to see me and you’ve forgotten.” “I was trying to do something. No idea what the fuck that was.” “Is that true?” Olsen asked, ratcheting up the pressure on Lenslo’s skull. “Or are you just messing with me so that you can flip the advantage?” “Fucking ouch!” Lenslo cried. “Let me go, ya bastard.” “Tell me what you’re doing back here, Lenslo. Or I’ll crush your skull.” “I have no idea, Olsen. Now get the fuck off me.” He shoved upwards, hoping to break his head free, but met only strong resistance. “El-Dot, why are you here?” Olsen asked. “Master?” El-Dot asked. “Should I tell Olsen your goal?” “Fucked if I know,” Lenslo growled. “I don’t have any clue what we’re doing back here. I swore to never return.” “That is not permission, Master. Please clarify.” “Tell me why I’m here.” “You returned in order to restore humanity. You want to undo your actions.” “Oh fuck,” Lenslo said, remembering everything he intended to do as Olsen slammed his head into the ground. “I don’t think so, Lenslo,” Olsen said, pounding Lenslo’s head until he lost consciousness. * *Lenslo coughed, hacking up blood and spitting it into the red sand. “Almost there, Pup,” he groaned, “Just a few more moments and we’ll be healed.” Pup barked happily and nuzzled Lenslo’s leg. Lenslo wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then grasped the football-sized glowing emerald gem atop the concrete pedestal with both hands. They stood at the bottom of a crater impact site that was nearly fifty metres deep. “Is this really what you want, Lenslo?” Olsen asked, staring into the gem from the other side of the pedestal. “You’ll throw away everyone in order to live?” Lenslo ignored his clone. Who did he think he was to question his creator? His job was simply to protect this sacred site in case the ritual wasn’t a complete success. Not that there was any doubt in his mind that he would succeed. The sun reached its apex as Lenslo leaned over the gem and let blood trickle from his mouth and splash on its surface. “By and by. Dust to Dust,” he recited. “I lend you my core to satisfy your lust. Take what is ours and make it yours. Give me the strength and vitality to see through the years-” “Stop,” Olsen demanded and pointed a gun at Lenslo’s head. Now, where on Earth had he found that? “Don’t do this, Olsen,” Lenso seethed. “I created you for this purpose. I have given you life and I will give you eternity. Lower the gun.” Oslen fired, grazing Lenslo’s cheek and drawing a line of blood. “I will not allow this,” he yelled and shot Lenslo in the leg. Lenslo screamed in unbridled agony, leaning his full weight into the gem. “You fuckhead. How dare you. Fuck that smarts.” “Step away from the gemstone or I’ll aim for something more vital.” Lenslo couldn’t step away, but he slid to the ground and lost contact with the gem. Black spots peppered his vision and he could feel his veins throbbing. Olsen stepped around as he put his back to the pedestal and stretched out his leg, forcing his palm against the wound. Olsen kept the gun aimed at Lenslo’s chest, but he didn’t fire the killing shot. “Why?” Lenslo cried. “Why would you throw away immortality?” “It isn’t up to you to decide the fate of all human life. I will not let you. Abandon your plans, Lenslo.” “What right do you think you, a clone, has to make decisions about who lives and dies. You’re a construct.” “I never chose to live. But I can choose not to take away life.” “You’ll come to see things differently as you start to die.” “I don’t think so. We are not Gods.”* * “Wake up, Lenslo.” Warm water splashed over Lenslo’s face and he groggily came awake. Olsen was crouched before him and his hands were tied behind his back around some solid object. “The fuck, Olsen?” “I brought you the rest of the way, Lenslo,” Olsen said, looking around the enormous crater around them. “It was the least I could do for drugging you out there.” Lenslo realised that he was tied to the pedestal that had once held the gemstone. The pedestal that had been part of the ritual that had set everything into motion. “Why am I tied up, Olsen?” “You came to undo everything. I cannot allow that to happen.” Lenso burst into laughter. “What did I tell you? I said that you would come to see things differently. That at one point you would be the one to defend everything that happened.” “Well, you were right, Lenslo. I will not let you undo this. You will not take my life away.” “What life? What do you have out here, but fuck all? What’s the point of going on if we’re destined to be alone. At least if people return we’ll have someone to talk to before we die.” “I won’t let you do this,” Olsen said, tapping the barrel of a gun against his temple. “I said it last time and you changed my mind. This time I won’t be swayed. Goodbye, brother.” He placed the gun against Lenslo’s forehead and pulled the trigger. Click. * *“Okay, brother, I won’t do this,” Lenso said. “You’re lying,” Olsen recognised, keeping a safe distance with the gun aimed at Lenslo’s chest, his hands shaking from what he had done. “I’m not. Now help me patch this wound before I bleed out. If I’m going to die from this I don’t want to do it so close to my failure.” Olsen slowly lowered the gun and then tucked it into the back of his waistband. He rushed forward and knelt near Lenslo’s legs. He reached forward tentatively towards the outpouring blood with shaky hands. Lenslo reached forward in a flash and dragged Olsen towards him. He slammed his head into the pedestal once, twice, three times and then threw his unconscious body to the ground. As quickly as he could he tore a strip of cloth from the bottom of his shirt and tied it around his leg. He knew nothing about gunshot wounds, but was sure that it would do nothing for him. All he could do was complete the ritual and hope that with immortality came healing. Using the pedestal he pulled himself to his feet and placed his hands back onto the emerald gem. Time to finish before Olsen rose and got in his way again.* * Lenslo cackled as the gun failed to fire. Olsen turned the gun in his hands to inspect it as Lenslo slid a blade down the length of his sleeve and used it to slice through his bindings. Olsen really should have done a thorough job of searching him for weapons and checking that his own still worked after all these years. As the ropes fell away Lenslo slammed the blade into the side of Olsen’s neck and powered him sideways into the ground. Blood burbled and pooled around his hand as Olsen drowned. “You really shouldn’t have stood in my way, Olsen.” Olsen tried to speak, but only made wet sucking sounds. “Shh, don’t talk. Just accept your fate.” He had never intended to kill Olsen, but he was the sacrifice he needed to make to bring humanity back. Getting to his feet he looked at the pedestal for the first time and screamed an avalanche of obscenities. The gemstone, the key to everything, was gone. “El-Dot, do you have any idea where Olsen hid the fucking gemstone?” “It is gone, Master,” El-Dot said. “He destroyed it two days after you departed.” Lenslo turned and shot scorching hot daggers at his companion. “He fucking what? Why the hell didn’t you tell me this at any of the one billion opportunities we’ve had since then?” “You never asked, Master.” If El-Dot could shrug its dog-like shoulders, that would have been the time. “I didn’t think I would need to ask something so fucking obvious. You should have told me before I walked all the way here and killed the only other living soul on this God’s forsaken planet to achieve my goals.” Cackling laughter bubbled up out of Olsen’s mouth. “What the fuck?” Lenslo cried as Olsen moved like a liquid, standing up and pressing the barrel of the gun against the side of Lenslo’s head. “This seems oddly familiar, doesn’t it?” * *Cackling laughter bubbled up out of Olsen’s mouth. “What the fuck?” Lenslo cried as Olsen stood up and pressed the barrel of the gun against the side of Lenslo’s head. “Step away from the gemstone, or I put a bullet through your head.”* * “Take it easy, Olsen,” Lenslo said, turning to face Olsen and putting the barrel against the centre of his forehead. “We both know that your gun won’t fire. Put it down and let's talk about this. Man to man.” “Man?” Olsen asked uncertainly. “I was never a man and you ceased to be one when you gave yourself immortality.” “Fine, let’s talk clone to fucking monster. Better?” Olsen lowered the gun and took a step back to stay out of his reach. “What you are trying to do is not okay, Lenslo.” “I’m fixing my mistake. I never should have wiped out humanity just to live. You know that. You fucking argued that exact point before I did it and I didn’t God damn listen.” “I was right then...” Lenslo threw his arms up in disgust. “And I’m right now.” “You can’t be both, asshole,” Lenslo argued. “I can because I’m a subject of your misdeeds and I hate it,” Olsen roared. “You gave me life and made me a fucking bodyguard to the altar of humanity’s destruction. I watched as you used whatever that gemstone was to kill every living being and I will not watch you attempt to play God again. It is not your right to give, as it was not your right to take away.” “But, I’m-” “No, shut up and listen! You played your cards and you won the grand prize. You got the immortality that you wanted. You even dragged me along and made me suffer through this pitiful existence. Now, sixteen hundred years later you change your mind and you march back here expecting that you can just flick a switch and put things right. No. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I will not abide your Machiavellian tactics. You, Lenslo, are not the man who gets to decide.” “And you are?” Lenso screamed. “Who the fuck are you to stand in my way? To destroy the one true chance humanity had.” “I did what needed to be done,” Olsen said. “I obeyed your orders and guarded the site, but in the immediate aftermath I knew that I couldn’t allow you to wield that unjustified power again. So yes, I destroyed your precious gemstone because if you didn’t know I’m the side of you that instantly regretted your actions.” “You’re playing at being a God yourself, fuckwad. If you had just left that gem alone all of this could have been put back to normal.” “All of this and none of it. The Earth cannot handle people just reappearing.” Lenslo screamed and pointed a finger at Olsen. “I will not spend another day in this endless bullshit. Where the fuck is my gemstone?” “I destroyed it. Wasn’t that clear?” “You can’t lie to me, Olsen. I know all of your tells. Now, where the fuck is it?” * *“Olsen,” Lenslo said, holding his hands down with his palms showing. “Come on, Olsen. You don’t want to kill your mirror. Don’t you want your new life to last more than a few decades?” “That is irrelevant, Lenslo,” Olsen said, waving the gun side to side to get Lenslo away from the pedestal. “What matters here and now is that you are not a God. You cannot abandon humanity just to give yourself a future. Die with dignity.” “I fucking won’t. I made this happen. I will see it through.” “How? I can stand here all day. You on the other hand look a little worse for wear.” “You’re going to give me a chance,” Lenslo grinned. “Belvedova.” Olsen froze in place, all of his muscles going rigid, not even his eyelids fluttered. “You see, Olsen. I was smart enough to build several failsafes into you. Now stand there and watch as I save us.” Lenslo hobbled back to the pedestal and grabbed the gemstone with both hands. “By and by. Dust to Dust. I lend you my core to satisfy your lust. Take what is ours and...”* * Olsen waved his hands around the crater, taking in all of their surroundings. “It’s all around us,” he said. “I exploded it into a million pieces.” “You fucking moron!” Lenslo yelled, stepping towards Olsen and laying him out with a solid punch to the jaw. “How could you?” He bent down and picked up the gun that fell out of Olsen’s hand. He pointed it at Olsen’s chest and screamed as he pulled the trigger over and over. It was the first time he had ever held a gun, let alone tried to kill someone. Every time the gun failed to fire. He dropped the gun as he collapsed to his knees and started to cry. He had come and he had failed. Humanity would never return. He would have to live forever with that guilt. “I’m sorry, Lenslo,” Olsen said, standing up and dusting himself off. “This is why Man should never play God.” * *Lenslo stepped back from the pedestal, raising his hands from the gemstone. He had done it. He had played God and oh boy did it feel good. Somewhere out there, far from this Red Centre people would be dropping like flies. Here in the middle of the crater he felt strong. His leg was limbering up and he could breathe a little clearer. He turned to face Olsen and smiled. “You, my little pet project are going to stay right here, within shouting distance of this crater at all times. You will guard the pedestal from anyone who might have survived this ritual. I doubt anyone will come, but regardless you’ll stand over this until you die. Blessingdona.” Olsen could not move and he also couldn’t do anything other than fall into line. When Lenslo finally relinquished his hold over his clone it wouldn’t do anything other than follow his orders. “Take care, Olsen,” Lenso said. “You’re one of only two men left alive on this miserable planet. Belvedova.” Lenslo walked past Olsen, patting him on the shoulder as he went to leave the crater. He turned his head from the pedestal. He would never look back.* * “What do you want me to say?” Lenslo asked. “I was fucking wrong. Now, if there’s any part of you that wants to do some good, come with me. Help me find another crater. There must be other gemstones out there somewhere. I can fix the Earth. I can make it okay for billions of people to return. Fuck, Olsen, this cannot be how this ends.” “Why don’t you just force me to follow you?” Olsen asked. “Use your code words to alter my behaviour.” “I don’t want to do that. I want you to decide to do the right thing. Just like I wish I had done back then. I was a fool and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” “What happened to you out there, Lenslo?” Olsen asked, crouching just out of reach of Lenslo’s legs. “How did you suddenly change after sixteen hundred years alone?” “I... I just woke the fuck up,” Lenslo laughed. “I thought I could just wander back here and set things right. God I’m an idiot.” “You’re just a man who stumbled upon a power that was beyond his belief. I don’t think anyone could judge you for what you wanted to attain. There might have been a better way to do it, however. I’m sorry it had to end this way.” “It’s not over, brother. I know that I’ll find a way to put things right. Are you coming with me?” “No. I’ll leave this up to you and El-Dot. If it’s alright with you I’d like to go out there and give this life thing a chance.” “Olsen, there is nothing I would like better. Go and have yourself a merry old life, Blessingdona.” “Thank you, Lenslo. Good luck out there.” Lenso waved goodbye as one last time he walked towards the edge of the crater. “Come on, El-Dot. Let’s find us another gemstone and fix this fucking Earth.