text: “You don’t get it, do you?” she asked. Of course, I get it. She wanted to break up. She said that she’s tired with all of these. She said that all these times, she hasn’t healed yet. She said that she’s hurt more than enough, that there are no more tears to cry. Yes, I made a mistake. Been saving porn images and entertained myself alone. She didn’t like that, and she got angry and mad. She also got mad at me, because I chatted with a girl I had a crush with many years ago. I only asked from that girl what I can do for her to help her with her problems. I didn’t and has no intentions with that girl. But when she knew, so she got mad. Very mad. She said that I cheated. Did I? I didn’t argue - I just made myself better and did all the right things she sees as good. I followed everything she says, just to make her happy and to show I changed. But she still complains from time to time that she’s tired. I get it, she’s still hurt. That’s why I’ve been making myself better. Made myself a better, clean man. Blocked the “other girl” so that no communication would happen anymore. I did and am doing and will be doing everything that I can just to make things better, because I really plan on spending my life with her. But no, all these things aren’t enough. I have no more words to say than to agree that I’m the scumbag. That no matter how hard I try, the scars would not go away and they still keep hurting. I remind myself every day of the lessons and the hurt that were made. From the time I wake up, to the moment I sleep, I always pray that things will get better. Then again, I’m still the scumbag. I should not be allowed to talk, nor say to others what is happening between us, because it’s between us. She doesn’t trust me anymore, because I broke her trust. She trusts more her male friends than I, and ask them for advices to make our relationship better. But I should stay silent and not be told what’s wrong with whoever I know. “You will not change - you will still do it. Because you’re a man, and you do things like those because you’re a man.” I just accept it, because I’m the scumbag. And because I’m a man - plain boring, no fun, and a great liar who don’t know how to change. “I hope that whoever you’ll be with in the future, you’ll be better and more mature. I’m hurt, very much hurt.” I asked, “Did I do something recently to hurt you? Did I recently trouble you?” “Nothing, you did none of those. I’m just tired of you and very much hurt with what you did.” “That’s why I’m doing my best to make up for all of those. I want to be a better man for you because I love you.” But then, I realized: she has scars, and she opens the wounds every now and then, while I wound myself every day. Then she looked at me to say something. “You don’t get it, do you?” she asked.