text: Once upon a time, there was a woman named Lucy that liked to eat bread sandwiches. You are probably wondering why is it called a bread sandwich. Don’t all sandwiches have bread? This sandwich is different. It does have bread but it’s a sandwich with bread in it. No chicken, no cheese, no lettuce, pickles, mayo, and ketchup. Just bread. It is bread between bread. It is the breadiest of bread. It is the bread sandwich. How does one make this special meal? Easy. Lucy grabs three slices of bread and stacks them. That’s it. If you really want to get creative, you can sprinkle bread crumbs and croutons in the middle so you have a mixture of soft bread and crunchy bread. Next thing you have a mouthful of bread goodness. Lucy wasn’t the only person that liked bread sandwiches. Some of the other members of her family loved bread sandwiches too. They would also make other bread meals like the bread dog. The bread dog like a hot dog but instead of a sausage wiener, they would roll up a slice of thin bread and place it between the hot dog bun. When they wanted to eat pizza, they’ll eat just the dough with torn bread as toppings. When they wanted to bake pie, they would bake bread pie which is pie with raw dough filling. Every meal had only one ingredient and that is bread. The woman’s obsession with bread took its toll when she woke up covered in slices of bread attached to her body. Her body created so much yeast from the bread eating that bread started growing on her body. Even though she loved bread, she wouldn’t eat bread that grew from her body. The bread that grew from her body smelled weird and it had an odd curve to it. She would shave it off and toss it to the pigeons outside. The pigeons loved her body bread. Lucy was the only person in her family that had this problem. The doctor told her to lay off on the bread and maybe the bread will stop forming. She never did. She still ate her bread sandwiches, her bread pies, and her bread dogs. When the bread growth multiplied to the point that she turned into a giant loaf of bread, that was when she stopped. Her family felt sorry for her. Some people weren’t sorry for her. They wanted to throw her in the oven to make bread dogs out of her. To keep her from molding and from being eaten by hungry family members, her mother put her in a nice glass bread container. She would place her on a chair at the dining table during family gatherings so she could feel like she’s part of the gathering. It was better than sitting by the toaster oven. To this day, Lucy is still a loaf of bread. Occasionally she would eat a small bit of bread. The doctor told her to lay off the bread. She would return to her normal self if she just stopped eating bread. Unfortunately, after eating her own kind by swallowing a slice of bread topped with bread crumbs, she now has random pieces of bread growing off her bread loaf body. No one knows what she might turn into next. Poor Lucy, she just can’t lay off the bread.