text: When, late at night, I heard commotion from my son's room, I thought I'd find him jumping on the bed again. My telling him off never did seem to stick. What I did not expect to find as I swung open the door was the Tooth Fairy, standing on the bookshelf near my son's bed, holding the Elf on the Shelf that normally resided on said bookshelf in a vicious headlock. In the Elf's hands was clutched a tooth, the same one my son Carlos had shown me with so much excitement during the day. "Oh my God," I said. "It's happening again." The Fairy had the Elf in a headlock with one arm, the other was clamped over his mouth. "Sshhh," the Tooth Fairy hissed. She nodded to where Carlos was fast asleep. "As soon as I let go he screams," she said. The Elf grunted, as if to say, *damn right*! "Okay," I said, thinking fast. "Okay, here." In one swift motion, I stepped across the bedroom to where the Tooth Fairy and the Elf struggled and gingerly scooped up the pair. The Fairy's wings, like that of a gossamer butterfly, shimmered with what I knew to be anger. "Well what else am I supposed to do?" I whispered. I took them to the living room and set them down on the coffee table. "One sec," I said. I popped over to the kitchen and grabbed a tall glass from the cupboard. Then it was over to the fridge, where I filled it to the brim with cold water. "Elf," I said, approaching the coffee table, glass in hand. "mmpph!" the Elf said, struggling feebly against the strength of the Fairy. "If you scream," I gestured to the water. "You get dunked. You feel me?" The Elf gave a big shudder, then nodded. "Okay," I said. "Let him go, Sienna." The Fairy gave me a long look, then stepped back from the Elf. The Elf dropped the tooth, then fell to his knees, gasping. Rather melodramatically, I thought. Fucking *Elves*. "So," Sienna said. "You remember me." I did. And she looked much the same. A tiny, beautiful ballerina with shimmering wings that glowed blue. She was clad from head to toe in black clothing, complete with a hood. A tiny ballerina moonlighting as a ninja. "Of course I remember you," I said. "I mean, of course." Her response was unexpected. Her wings flushed from light blue to a light pink that climbed near to the edges, and she flit across the table away from me. "Right, of course," she said, and I couldn't see her face. "Some don't, that's all." The Elf took this moment as his time to bolt. He scrambled across the table and dove over the edge. I caught him easily. "You!" the Elf cried. "You sick, sick man! I'll take your teeth! Every last one!" He clawed wildly at the air as if to make good on his threat. I dunked him in the water. \~\~\~ "So," I said. "They're coming for Carlos now." I sat on the couch, leaning against the armrest. I'd fetched a blanket, and coffee brewed in the kitchen. I figured I wouldn't be getting anymore sleep. "Yes," Sienna said. She sat on the back of the couch, her eyes on the coffee table. The Elf lay there, his face and hands duct taped, a pool of water having formed beneath him. He seemed to be playing dead. *Elves*. "I should've known better than to get one," I said, nodding towards the Elf. "I just thought...well I thought it was over." "It's never over," she said bitterly. "The Elven King will never stop seeking the teeth of children." *The Elven King*. I remembered, and shuddered. "But, that's why you're here, isn't it?" I asked. "To do as you did with me. To take Carlos down the Fae Path to face that bastard." Sienna was silent. From the kitchen, I heard the coffee brewer finish. "Hold on," I said, and left her there, returning with two mugs. One, the regular size you'd see in anybody's kitchen. The other, a miniature, the size of a thimble. Both steaming with hot coffee. "Look," I said excitedly. "It's your size." Sienna looked surprised, then her expression morphed into something I didn't understand. She looked away again. I set both mugs on the coffee table. That startled the Elf, but after taking in his surroundings again, he flopped back onto the glass to continue playing dead. "No," Sienna said softly. "No?" I asked. "I'm not here for Carlos," she said. "We got a tip. Elf activity in this area. And I...recognized the name." "Oh," I said. Then, touched. "You came for me?" No response. "Sienna, that means so much. Thank you." I was smiling, I couldn't help myself. I lay back against the couch and sipped my coffee. "You know, after you left, I told everybody I knew about you." Sienna scoffed. "As if they'd believe you." "They didn't, of course. I remember being so frustrated. As if they'd never been a kid. Like, don't any of you remember not being believed? Anyway. That didn't stop me from talking about you. I told everyone stories about my new 'imaginary friend'." "Really?" Sienna said, and I heard the ghost of a smile in her words. "What kind of stories?" "Oh, you know," I said. "How Sienna and I faced the Tremor Queen in the Whittlewood. How we rode eagles over the Lake of Myth. Stories." "I remember," Sienna said. She lay back to stare at the ceiling. Doing so made her hood fall, and white hair spilled out over the back of the couch. "Did I ever take you to see the Star Sea?" she asked. "No," I said. "I don't think so." "It's beautiful," she said. "I wish we'd gone." "We saw plenty," I said. "And I saw...enough, I think. Thank you." Sienna was silent for a long while. I finished my coffee and set down my mug. "You could take Carlos," I said. Sienna sighed. "I was afraid...you'd ask that." "It's what you need, isn't it? The Elven King, he wants their teeth. But the realm. It just needs to see their wonder." "I just..." she trailed off. "You really don't remember, do you?" "Remember what?" "It wasn't all adventure and wonder for you. You got hurt. Remember?" And then I did. How had I forgotten? I'd had to learn how to use crutches. The kids at school had made fun of me. My mother had been feverishly overprotective for years after, terrified that her boy would wander off again and come back with broken legs, or worse. "Yeah, I do now," I said. "It's funny the things you forget." Sienna sat up, looking pensive. Her wings glowed violet. "I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to risk it again." I was confused. "It's been years, Sienna. Surely you've taken other kids?" Sienna paused, then shook her head. "I see," I said. "I failed," she said, folding her hands in her lap. "I couldn't protect you." "I barely remember," I said, smiling. "It was just pain. I didn't die." "What's that supposed to mean?" she said, and her wings flushed red. "You didn't die? Are you serious?" "Kids get hurt, Sienna," I said. "And you protected me from worse. You were amazing." "Are you kidding me?" Sienna said. "You should be furious. You could've--" "I didn't," I said. "I'm right here, talking to you. And I'm grateful." "You're grateful," she said flatly. "I am," I said. She scoffed and flew off the couch, settling onto the coffee table next to the Elf. "I've got to get this idiot down to processing," she said. She dug around in a dark satchel at her waist and pulled out the tooth she'd wrested from the Elf. She examined it, then pulled from the satchel a ten dollar bill, which she set on the table. "My regards to your son," she said. "Sienna," I said, ignoring the fact that she'd just set *ten dollars* on the table, a standard for tooth exchange that I'd simply never be able to live up to. She paused, then turned around, arms folded, wings extended, pulsing blue and red. It was an intimidating sight, even if she was six inches tall. "I would do it again," I said. "I'd do it all over again." "Then you're an idiot too," she said. "And still quite possibly a child." "That's not fair," I said. "You'd put your own son in danger? You'd risk everything?" "I'd put him in your care," I said. "And I'd trust you to protect him." Sienna stared at me, then slumped, looking exasperated. "Why?" she said. "Because you showed me a wonderful, wonderful world," I said. "And you were my best friend when I needed it most." The Tooth Fairy wavered. The red faded from her wings. "You got hurt," she said. "Because of me." "I am who I am because of you," I said. "You loved me and you helped me grow up. That's all we can ask of anybody." Sienna sank to her knees, and lay her hands upon the glass on either side of her. With her hair falling on either side, and her wings glowing blue, she looked exactly as I remembered her. Ethereal, like a little angel, sent to protect me against the night. "He'll have to face the Elven King," she said. "As all mortal children do." "I know," I said. "And you'll show him how to win." Sienna tilted her head back, staring through space. Then she looked back at me, and her face broke into a smile. "If he's anything like you, I'll have my work cut out for me," she said. I laughed. "Don't worry, he inherited all my worst qualities." The Tooth Fairy stood, and her wings fluttered. "I'll take this Elf in," she said, as if preparing a mental checklist. "And then..." "You'll show my son the Star Sea," I said. "And you'll keep him safe.