text: Did you remember to lock the door? Before you answer that, I want you to really think about it. One, or maybe two of you, might have actually checked the locks as soon as you read the title. Maybe some of you habitually lock the door as soon as you get home. Twisting the deadbolt and hooking the chain just come as second nature. Did you notice anything out of place? Anything that could lead you to believe you aren’t alone? Would you even notice? What about the windows? There was a girl, and this was years ago, who did all the right things. She double checked the locks, walked through the parking lot with her keys between her fingers, always made sure her mace was in her purse, and always checked the back seat before driving home. Her friends on the night shift called her uptight, paranoid, and mistrustful. She called it being carful. She thought she was so carful. Here’s the thing though; None of us are as carful as we think we are. She always took the same route home, she always left the house and came back at the same time, you could set your watch to it. Her life was just so structured. It only took me a few days before I had her schedule memorized. That bat she kept near the front door? I moved it three different times, and she never even noticed. Not to mention the fact that she lived alone and didn’t have a dog. Does anyone watch the news anymore? The world is scary place. I knew that she kept a spare key underneath a rock near the gutter of the garage. It was a clever hiding spot, but it was easy to find. I could’ve easily just used the spare, but I didn’t want this to be easy, I wanted a challenge. I wanted the thrill of nearly getting caught. I’ve picked my fair number locks in my day (they’ll let anyone be locksmith nowadays) but where’s the fun in that? She had a sliding glass door that led to her back porch. More specifically she had a sliding glass door with a Legacy keyed handle set. If you pry at the seams just right the entire handle and lock will fall apart, and it’s only a matter of getting the right super glue to put back together. It only took me a matter of minutes to break in, and that was the hard part. After that I just unlocked all the windows. She never checked the windows. After that, after I actually had an *IN*, It was just a matter of time before I made my move. I would go into more detail, but I don’t want any of the more intuitive members of this subreddit catching onto my trail. You’ll just have to settle for this vague version, good luck even guessing the state. I didn’t come here to brag, in fact she was the best case scenario for a mark. No nosey neighbors, single, no dogs. No, I came here because I’m bored. You guys make it too easy. There’s no chase anymore, no slow build up and pay off. What ever happened to the nosey suburban housewife who’s always sticking their nose in places they don’t belong? The annoying neighborhood watchmen who couldn’t make the cut for the local police department? The little old ladies who have nothing better to do other than watch the street all day? God I’m Bored! Now, I’ll ask you again, And I’ll write it all in caps for the simple ones among you; DID YOU LOCK THE DOOR? How about the windows? Did you check to see if that door you rarely use hasn’t been tampered with? You’d be surprised at how many people will leave a side door in disrepair before actually getting fixed. Did you check? Do you feel safe now? Were you ever really worried? But here’s a little follow up question for the clever and the careful; When you unlocked the door when you got home, did you notice how loose the lock felt? Did it glide a bit smoother than usual? Was it actually locked? Did you notice that the big knife in the cutting block was missing? I know you’ve been eating out more often nowadays, work’s been hard lately, and all you want to do when you get home is order fast food, sit on the couch in your pajamas, and watch reruns of scrubs on Netflix. One last question, and don’t worry, it’s an easy one. Did you just lock me out? Or did you just lock me in? I’ll see you soon.