text: Anxiety, sweaty palms, too many bodies - so why do I feel like I’m backed into a corner with no where to go. How crowded can a train be at this time of day it’s only 6:00am. To hide behind the hoodie I wear, the bruises black and blue across my face. The sound of my heart slowly fading as I leave behind the life I once saw as my future. I see white what can it be, is that you nan i see. Why are you here? is this a dream, please talk to me. No words just pure silence from her, until I saw a little boy the size of a watermelon appeared before me. Who are you? Are you lost? lets go find your parents. He pointed his finger at me, confused as I was the words I heard was MUM!. He suddenly disappeared and I couldn’t come to terms of where I was. Until a light flash before my eyes as I watched a reflection of myself in the corner of the train. If I am here, who is that. Mysterious voice “It’s you” but I couldn’t understand how is that me. As I watched from above I saw the police officer announced me as dead and tapped the crime scene with the yellow tape. As a vision of what had happened made me realise I died the night before, HOW! I was raped and beaten by the man who said he loved me. I was murdered by the man who gave me the black and blue bruises. I was murdered by the man who gave me life.... MY DAD!!!!!! He took away the life I saw as my future and all because my step mother hated me. She never did love me the way my real mother loved me. But I assumed my real mother loved me despite her disappearing at the age of 5 years old. Why she left me with this man I would never know, cause he took away my chance to find the mother who birthed me. But as the police officer starts searching my body, he finds a piece of ID with the name (sara Burke) that’s me. As evidence is bagged in a clear seal bag, the sudden shock caused the officer to faint. As he stutters with the fear in his voice, he shouted with tears ”she was pregnant“. Everyone stood still as another officer came to examine me and cried “WHO WOULD DO THIS”. Yes! I was 16 and pregnant and the father was none another than my dad. I was raped my whole life and my step mum knew.She was jealous at the attention I got until I fell pregnant and wanted me gone for good. Don’t get me wrong I knew I had to leave before they got to me. But where was I meant to go, stories you hear about how the system fails us. Scared me to the core that I knew I was going to die, it was either I died or my step mother would leave my dad. I was given the opportunity to spend my last day however it pleased me and I sat down with my Mother Nature. Begging her to let the gods take me away instead of the brutal way I knew I was going to die. I watched the day turn into night within a matter of hours. I was angry with the gods cause I felt like no one was hearing my cry for help. I kneeled and prayed as my father repeatedly punched me 1 2 and 3 times in the head. Leaving me unconscious, eyes barely hanging onto life my step mother said “good riddance“. He ripped my clothes off and raped me til I bleed. I said “Dad before I leave this earth tell my real mum I love her and I will see her again”. SILENCE........... 6:00am he stuffed my body into a train, making sure he had no eye witnesses. I was gasping on to the last bit of air I had left. I told my dad karma would get him and whether I’m alive or dead I would get justice for me and my son. To his surprise he didn’t know I was pregnant but I wasn’t shocked. His twisted wife would have him wrapped under her thumb. As I turned my back I saw everyone I loved waiting for me including my son who was that watermelon. I knew the life I lived on that train was a life my dad put on me. But the life I have here in heaven will be the life i would make my own. But before I died the last thing I saw on earth before the angels himself took me. Was the sunsetting to shine through people window. The blue skies, the birds singing in harmony as I hum along with them. The leaves falling off the trees as autumn starts to sink in and my eyes close one last time. Mother Nature showed me life after death is just as beautiful as life now. The girl in the hoodie with the face painted in black and blue that was Sara Burke. That girl is me but I would never let that girl be defined as a victim. She was brave, strong, confident and had the humblest heart of gold. God knew he needed her more with him so he allowed her to watch the sun rise. As her sun was setting for a better and brighter future with the people she loved and who loved her. Sara burke knew the day would come where her dad would pay for her death. She never saw the bad in people despite being stood on like a roach. As she walked towards her loved ones, the light behind her started to fade. The life she knew in black and blue become nothing but full of colours. This is my story of the girl who cried black and blue .