text: The darkness wasn’t always there. There was once light; beautiful light filling the room. The memories of the light drive me mad. All I can do, all I want to do, is capture another moment in it. Yet, darkness is almost all I see. I am paralyzed. Fear is the only thing I feel as I stare at the door before me. The only small taste of light I have had in a long time is coming through the crack of this door. But it is locked. I have a key in my hand but the same question circles like a vulture in my mind, “What if the key doesn’t fit?” There were other doors, lost in the darkness of the room as their lights had burnt out before. I have tried this key in those doors. Each time it hasn’t worked. There was one door in which I thought I heard it start to unlock, but then it failed. So, I sit here paralyzed, holding this key. I dream of the other room, the one with the light. I imagine the comfort, warmth, and clarity that will come with it. Yet courage evades me; and I sit here paralyzed, holding this key. I hear the laughter, faint but strong, coming from the other room. This is a sound I haven’t made in recent memory. A sudden rush of emotion comes over me. I feel the urge, the need to unlock the door. I grasp the key and move towards the door. I can start to feel the warmth. As I get closer the light gets stronger. I reach my hand out, shaking from nervousness. I insert the key and turn it. It unlocks! For the first time in forever excitement sweeps over me. As I open the door, light starts to fill the room. A smile creeps across my face and then.... It disappears. The light was no more. I understood. It was all an illusion. A cruel trick played by my mind... but no, it wasn’t. The light was there. I know I heard the door unlock. How could I be so close to the light, just for the light to burn out? So, I go back to waiting for the next sliver of light to come through a door. Hopeful. I sit, and I wait. Hope the only thing that is keeping me patient. My memory of what once was in this room has slipped away. It left a long time ago. The only thing I know are these doors. These doors that refuse to let me in. More and more time goes by and I am stuck. Hope dwindles and a new sense of anxiety comes over me. I have waited so long and the only thing I am hanging on to, the idea of light filling the room, seems impossible. There is no rest here. I cannot sleep. I just keep looking, searching for a sliver of light. Then it appeared. A new door. A new light. This time it was brighter than ever before. So bright it seemed as if it should bust through the door. I knew. I knew that this was the door to which I had the key. I don’t know how I knew, but I did. The laughter coming from the new room was louder than ever before; it was calling out to me. As I approached the door, I wasn’t nervous. I wasn’t anxious. I wasn’t scared. I simply entered the key, unlocked the door, and went inside.