text: This is a real story. I was 20. I had been robbed before when I was younger. I didn’t expect to get robbed so close to my neighbourhood. I thought it was safe around my home. I had recently spent all the money I had gotten in a summer project on my brand-new smartphone. My parents never gave me much money, so I highly valued every item I owned. That morning I went to the orthopaedic surgeon, my appointment was at 0745 sharp. My shoulder and lower back were in some pain. I had to go there that early because at 1000 I had my university lessons. I brought my wallet, my keys, and my brand new phone with me. The appointment went well. I walked out of the clinic and crossed the street. I sat at the bus stop, waiting for the next one. I was the only one there. There wasn’t anyone around, as it was quite early. Bars were just opening. Most owners didn’t want to miss the early commuters. First thing I noticed about this guy is that he was bloody tall. I’m talking 2.1 meters tall. The second thing I noticed was how tan he was, and his gold rings and chains. These helped me to identify him as a Romani Gypsy from the local community. I had gone to school with a lot of them, and I got along with most. They were proud people that didn’t like to be disrespected. I always knew how to make them feel like they were running the show. Mostly, they left me alone. The third thing I notice, he’s looking at me. He had these huge hands. He was a bloody big fella. “Good morning mate!” He said, in a very chipper tone. *Not a good sign.* “Good morning mate!” I replied in a lower tone, but still friendly. “Waiting for the bus. Yea?” He said. *Too chipper for a Tuesday at 0810.* “Indeed, friend.” *Keeping it cool. Answer his questions but without giving him too much rope.* “Well here’s the thing mate. I’m missing a coin for the bus. You wouldn’t happen to have one?” *There it was.* “I might have just the one.” Funny stuff, this was true. I had about 3.5 in local currency in my wallet. I had a debit card, with some money in it, my bus card, my uni card and the library card. Not much to rob. However, the phone was in my back pocket. I slowly and casually moved so that my back was against the bus stop. “Well fella, let’s see it, quickly.” He demanded. “Give me a minute sir.” Rule number 1 to avoid conflict, be respectful and do not show aggression. “I think we might come to an agreement...” “Give me the wallet, or your mum ain’t going to be hugging you again.” “Look, seriously, give me a minute. You want to rob me, you rob me. You are going to rob me anyway no? There isn’t a way that I’m going to avoid this from happening, so just hear me out.” Guy was looking confused, this was working. “You better know that, small fly.” “Okay, so look, I’m Loud.” I extended my hand in a greeting gesture, waiting for him to shake it. “What’s your name, mate?” “What’s your mother’s name?” *Okay, that didn’t work too well.* I took my hand back, and I got my wallet out of my pocket. “Look, give me a minute.” I open my wallet and hand him my ID card. “I ain’t bullshitting you, my name is Loud. What’s your name?” He took my card. He looked at me. Looked at the card. Looked at me again. By this point, I bet this robbery wasn’t like any other robbery he had done recently. “My name is Alpha” He handed me back the card. *This is good.* I had given him something and he had given it back. “Right, look here Alpha. Extend your hand. I’m going to give you my stuff.” He did. “I have 3.5 with me,” I said, putting the money on his hand. “No bills whatsoever.” I showed him the inner fold of my wallet. No bills there. “I have my debit card, on red numbers I’m afraid, bought the sister a present yesterday.” I gave him my debit card. “I have my library card and my university card.” I gave him those. “And finally, that’s my wallet here.” I gave him the empty wallet. He was confused. He didn’t know if he was supposed to run or not. “Now, before you take off with that whole pile of objects that are worth less than a tenner: Hear me out.” “I’m hearing you.” *Good!* “Alright, well, here’s the thing. It’s bloody early mate, and I haven’t had breakfast. Have you? He moved his head side to side. He was paying attention. “Right. So, I suppose that if you do take all my stuff, you are probably going to go get some breakfast. A big fella like you can’t run on an empty stomach.” He nodded. “Right. So... here’s the thing, if you do rob me, and take all of my stuff, I need to cancel my card, and my bank will ask what happened to the card. I will have no other choice but to present a complaint in the local police, and they are a bunch of idiots. Now, I happen to be very hungry myself. I live around here and I can tell you 100%, that bar right there.” I point at a random bar on the other side of the street. “That bar right there has the best croissants that you are going to have in your life mate. They are the best. Coffee isn’t too good, but the croissants man, the croissants... delicious.” He was still looking confused. “So, instead of robbing me: Why don’t you come with me. I invite you to the most awesome breakfast in this side of town for 3.5 that you are ever going to get. You did say that you were going to use my money for breakfast anyways. We get ourselves some coffee, just two guys. Talking shite about life. No robberies, no need for you to get in trouble, and I can hug my mother tomorrow. You get your free breakfast anyways, mate, and none of the problems.” I didn’t think it was going to work. I thought he had seen my mobile phone and he was going to punch me in the face, knock me on my arse, kick me some more and then take everything I had. To my surprise, he gave me back all my stuff. “Walk.” Talkative fella he was. We crossed the street and I was behind him. I didn’t want him to see my phone. I opened the door to the bar. Moved my hands to invite him in first. Barely fit through the door he did. My backside was always out of his sight. “Hello, chaps!” I say to the bartender and someone that was in. “Long time no see! Do you still have those awesome croissants?” Let me reaffirm something that might not be immediately obvious. This was my first time in that bar. No one knew me there. Bartender looked confused by my friendly approach. I didn’t know if they had croissants. This was a proper Hail Mary. “You betcha!” *God loves me.* “Sit down Alpha! They have them!” He sat down. “Two coffees and two croissants, please.” I asked. He went to prepare the coffees. “3.85!” The bartender replied. *Maybe God doesn’t love me that much.* “Alright, I’m a bit short on change. Could we make it only one croissant? I’m not hungry anyway.” “No problem. 2.85!” I handed him the full 3.5 euros. “Keep the change, brother.” So, I came back to the table. Bringing the coffees and his croissant. “Here it is, man. Best croissant in this side of town I tell you!” He took his coffee to his side. I took mine. I gave him the croissant on the third plate I was carrying. “Where is yours?” He said. He looked at me. Neutral expression all the way. “Oh!” I lowered my voice. “That bartender, he upped the prices. It was 3.5 for the whole thing, I didn’t have enough for two croissants, but you go ahead, mate. I’m not hungry.” “Oh.” Pause. “No.” He said. What he did next surprised me more than getting my high school diploma. He took the plate. He took a fork and a knife. They looked out of proportion with those huge hands of his. He cut the croissant in half. He picked one half with his fingers, careful not to touch the other one and he passed me the plate. “You said you were hungry.” He said. *What. The. Fuck*. So, for an hour. We sat down and we ate. He agreed that the croissants were good, thankfully. He told me about the business. He said that he was in the copper business. He would grab junk, take all the copper out and sell it. His dad started the business and he joined when he was 14. Fuck school, he said. told me that his sister wasn’t arranged to be married yet and that it was a problem because his daddy was getting angry. I said I understood. I didn’t. He talked far more than I did. When we finished, he went to the bar. The other lad and the bartender had to look up. “Good croissants mate.” He headed for the door. I followed behind. “Well Loud! It was awesome to rob you.” He held his hand out, but not for a shake; the fingers extended upwards, arm close to the chest, bent elbow, open thumb. I took the queue like a champ. High five. \-CLAP- Shoulder bump. Hand across the back. Proper bro hug. “You are welcome to rob me anytime if you are going to be this nice, brother.” He laughed. I went to the bus station. Less than 4 coins shorter than I was when I left home. My phone was still in my back pocket. I saw him a few more times before leaving the country. He was sometimes accompanied by some friends. All those times, he pointed at me and his friends waved their hands in my direction. They mostly laughed. Once, we walked into each other. I asked him about the copper business. We talked for a bit. He said he still goes to the bar for croissants from time to time. Best croissants he’s ever had. \ If you've reached this far, thank you for taking the time to have a read. I really appreciate any feedback. English isn't my first language, so if I've gotten anything wrong. Do let me know. Once again, thanks.