text: I wrote this on a whim, but after rereading a few days later I genuinely enjoyed it, so I thought I'd share, enjoy (hopefully) &#x200B; \*Ulp\* As my tongue retracted I'm sure the insect was already dead, at least mentally. Being a lizard is pretty great, I climb things, I eat things, I sleep on things, a little rinse here, a little rinse there, and time and time again each step is repeated. What some would call a never-ending cycle, I call my life. My current humble abode, also known as my nest, is currently made in the small opening of a rock just over yonder. Although I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, I tend to collect shiny things without even noticing, which has resulted in *quite* the stash in my nest. Not that I mind though, I'm actually quite fond of shiny things, which I guess is why I've been collecting them without thinking about it. If another of my kind saw the glittering pile where I sleep, I wonder what they'd say? Would they be disturbed? Would they want some of it? All of it? Ha! Like I'd part with my treasures! Anyway, today I've managed to eat two big fluffy bugs, seven small thin ones, Oh! And I found a big gray bug taking a drink too! It was so juicy I thought I was gonna melt! mmmmm.... Now that I've eaten enough for today though, I plan to head back to my nest, sleep for a bit, maybe practice my hobby for a bit, and then inevitably head back out to look for more food, as one does when living through their life cycle. A roaring sound above, which upon looking up I could see a flock of four-legged feathery friends, their white feathers annoyingly reflecting the sun's light into my eyes. With each flying in the direction of my nest, I could feel myself start salivating at happy thoughts...mmmmm...I bet they'd taste good, hopefully, they land soon and I can get them on my way back. I wish I had wings. I've seen plenty of other creatures with wings, I've eaten plenty too. If I had wings, not only would the amount of time I spend hunting be reduced, but I'd also be able to hunt other creatures of the air! Oh so exciting! Just imagining the wind on my scales cooling off my whole body as I munch on the delicious meat of one of my four-legged feathery friends above, oh how fantastic a thought! If only...but alas, I am stuck on the ground, the creatures above forever taunting my inability to reach them, sometimes it's very infuriating, but today the feeling of anger was mild at best. Step step step step. Soon I'd be back at the nest, sadly I hadn't seen the feathery creatures from before, no tasty treats for me, how sad. On the horizon, the sun floated just above, sure to sink into it at any moment, but taking it's time to freefall as it pleased, it was a lovely sight, painting the surrounding rocks and boulders in a nice warm orange. What's this? Some insects are in my nest! How exi-! ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... They're...they're taking my treasures...the two-legged ones are loading up my shinies into their trinkets and taking them away! They think that just because they've tamed those silly hairy long four-legged bugs that they're strong enough to take my precious collection?! UNACCEPTABLE. Opening my mouth wide, I took in a large gulp of air, letting it churn in my stomach, all the while my mouth released a loud hissing noise, alerting the tiny insects of my presence, but it didn't matter, even as they panicked, ran, or took cover, I would let NONE of these foul micro-creatures leave unpunished! Air fully churned, I regurgitated it back out in a hail of poisonous gas that covered most of the rock my nest was made into, no doubt filling my nest as well, none of the bugs would survive, good. As I waited for the gas a clear I watched for any signs of life, even well after it had fully dissipated. Nothing had survived. Great, now some of my treasures would be warped by the acidic nature of my gas! Waaaaah, woe is me! Not to mention that now I have to go gather what those vermin scattered about, as well as eat their corpses, which although don't taste very good after blasting them, it would be an insult to nature to not eat what's still edible. So yeah, being a lizard is pretty great, but sometimes it can be a bit of a hassle.