text: She walked past her room and to his. Standing at the doorway, she leaned against it and smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. She watched as he rolled around in bed, whining for her to come over and give him the cuddles that he was promised for doing such a good job with chores. She watched as his face lit up when he saw her and reached his arms out for her. She couldn't help but let out a chuckle but that stopped when she was brought back to reality by the unusually loud rain droplets hitting the window. It was windy that night. The coldness settled quite well with the silence, giving her the eerie sense of loneliness. She sighed and walked into the kitchen. Going to the fridge, she got herself a bottle of water. Opening the cap, she felt a chill run down her spine. She stopped and looked towards the entrance of the kitchen and she saw him again. She just gave in and decided to enjoy these little..... Moments of flashbacks that she was having. It was all bright and happy now with him right there. She couldn't even hear the rain. She smiled with tears brimming her eyes, seeing him in the memory. He walked to her from behind and scared her once before holding her close. Giving her kisses on her cheeks, he told her how much he loved her and how much he missed her while he was at work. She watched herself (in the memory) turn to him and give him a tight hug. She always did that whenever he had a long day and just needed to relax. She played with his soft hair, whispering to him how grateful she was to have him and how proud she was of him. Perhaps, she didn't notice it then but she definitely did now. The little falter in his smile. She placed the water bottle back inside the fridge and went to the study room. Their work room. She sat down at her desk and looked to the side where she saw him working. Another memory. He always looked attractive when he worked. It was no denying that him focusing was definitely something she could admire for days. Giving her a sweet smile, he reached out and held her hand with one of his own as he continued to work with the other. He was just caring like that. She leaned over to take a peak at what he was doing and he covered her eyes. Whenever he told her that peeking was bad, she would just pout. This always sent him into a mini panic. He would stop whatever he was doing and just go hold her. He knew it comforted her and it really did. A lone tear rolled down her cheek. She wanted to be in those arms again. She wanted to feel the comfort and warmth again. But she couldn't. She had lost it. Forever. Going into the living room, she could almost hear the words slipping past her lips with no control. She wished and hoped that she could take very single one of those words back but she couldn't. She regretted it and she still does. She remembered how he just had a small smile on his face as he listened to her yell at him for not switching off the lights and fans when they were not in use. Of course, this had ticked her off at the time but now, she knew why. He probably loved it. He probably loved the fact that he would get to hear her yell at him one last time before he would be gone. Regardless, she was mad at him now too. She was mad at him for not telling her and for hiding it from her that he would be gone soon. Very soon. She felt her knees buckle aa she fell onto the ground, sobbing. One of her hands covered her eyes as she let out a heart broken yell into the void. There was no one to tell her that everything would be alright. She didn't even get to say her goodbye. She didn't get to tell him how much he meant to her and how much he did to save her. From the world and herself. She didn't get to tell him how grateful she was that she had met him. She didn't get to tell him that he was the sunshine in her life. He probably didn't wish for it to happen on her birthday. He probably felt so sad and angry at himself too. She felt so useless for not being able to comfort him at that moment of time. She felt worthless for not being able to see it or even sense it. Her nails dug into the wooden floors as she felt the pain coursing through her. One of her hands came up to clutch at her chest. She could feel the heaviness in her heart. It brought her down. She remembered the times he told her to not lose hope but now that he was gone, she had no hope left. He took it with him. Her smile, her laughter, her joy, her happiness, her entire life was gone with him. He was gone. She was not prepared for this farewell.