text: Stuck in the Middle with You Thunder rumbled among the dark clouds that made the daytime sky look like night, and then a streak of lightning tore through the clouds splitting them apart, jagged, like the shell of a cracked egg. The light it produced was blinding, and I couldn't help but turn my head away and blink several times to regain my sight from the momentary blindness that it caused me. I knew better than to look, but like a moth to a flame, I did anyway. I knew what followed next. The weather man had been predicting it for a day or two now, and by the way the sky looked, it seemed, for a change, he may be spot on; a torrential rain; baseball size hail; conditions right for a tornado. Hopefully, the latter two would be wrong. Visions of my car being beaten to a pulp by hail would send my bank account into a tailspin, and thoughts of my 15th floor apartment being whisked away to Oz by a tornado wasn't appealing to me either. However, the weather was perfect for my mood--I was storming internally. A few moments later, I heard a voice shout after me. "Tabby, please, wait up!" shouted my no good, egg sucking dog of a cheating boyfriend. "Why should I, Chase?" I shouted back and picked up my pace from a fast, angry walk to a run in order to catch the walk signal and cross the busy street before Chase caught up to me. Fortunately, I caught it just in time, leaving a rush of cars between me and Chase. I didn't want to talk to him. Earlier, my flight had been grounded for weather reasons, so the flight attendants, which was my profession, had been sent home for the day. After changing out of my uniform, I decided to walk to Chase's apartment, since it was only two blocks away, to surprise him. I had visions of the two of us snuggling up together by a warm fire while we waited out the storm. A month earlier, as a sign of his commitment to me, he had given me a key to his apartment. I'd never used it--until today. I wish I hadn't. I knew he'd be home, since he worked a night shift at the fire department, so I quietly slipped my key into the lock, turned it and opened the door. The smile on my face immediately drooped, and my brow instinctively scrunched up like a prune. I couldn't believe my eyes. Chase was in a passionate embrace with a hot-looking brunette who was wearing a short red skirt and a halter top to match. Her bare stomach was pressed against his. I stormed out. For now, I was too angry to cry, and I suppose I would flood my apartment with tears once I got there. A few moments later, Chase was in pursuit. I had hoped I would have made it home before the downpour, but no such luck. It didn't start as a sprinkle of rain, but the swollen clouds burst and let loose a blinding rain instantly. Two minutes later, I opened the door to my apartment building, went to the elevator and pressed the call button several times hoping it would get here before Chase did. The lights in the foyer flickered, and I know I should have taken the stairs, but I didn't relish the thought of walking up fifteen stories in my angry, hurt and half-drowned condition. Finally, the elevator door opened and I stepped in. I saw Chase enter the building a moment later, so I frantically hit the close button for the elevator door. He had slipped his hand between the doors just before they closed. "Please, Tabby, we need to talk. What you saw wasn't what it looked like." I folded my arms and glared at him. "Seriously! Well, to me, it looked like a full-blown lip lock with your arms wrapped around her pressing her to your body. If I hadn't surprised you, the two of you would probably have been stripped naked on the floor." Chase was about to respond, when suddenly, the elevator jerked to a halt between the seventh and eighth floor. I had been watching the floor panel box, wishing the elevator would go faster, just before the lights went out. I was stuck in a 7 x 6 box with someone I didn't want to be with. However, I consider myself fortunate that it was pitch black and I couldn't see him. "Just lovely!" I exclaimed. "I should have taken the stairs." "Don't your elevators have emergency lights?" Chase asked. "Of course, they do. But somethings in this building aren't reliable--just like a certain, now, ex-boyfriend! Do me a favor; just don't talk so I can pretend you're not here." I felt my way to a corner and sat on the floor to wait for the elevator to restart. "On the contrary, a stranded elevator gives us a perfect chance to talk. I need you to hear me out," he said. "So, you may as well have a seat." "I already have, and what do you mean, here you out. What's to explain? You were kissing another woman, Chase. Pure and simple. You can't deny it." "No, I can't. I was kissing a beautiful woman. I have every right to kiss her because she's my wife and I'm not...." "Wife!" I interrupted. "You're married to boot! If I could see you, I'd smack the shit out of you!" "Well, it's unfortunate that you can't see me, because as I was about to say, before you interrupted me, I'm not Chase." I couldn't help but laugh at his idiotic declaration. "What do you mean, you're not Chase? Just like the old saying, if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's probably a duck." "But some ducks look alike," he replied. "I'm Jason. Chase's twin brother. You saw me kissing my wife Mandy. We were visiting with Chase and spent the night." Now I wish I could see his face to fathom the outrageous story. "Funny, if, as you say, your Chase's twin brother, how come he's never mentioned you? I've also met your sister and parents. They said nothing about you either." "Because they couldn't. I've been living off the grid for years under a witness protection program. Now that the person I was testifying against was found guilty, put in prison and then subsequently murdered while there, my wife and I are finally able to come out of the closet, so to speak." I laughed. "And you expect me to believe that! That sounds like something from a movie." "Some movies are based on facts." Suddenly, we felt the elevator shake and rattle. "Oh, shit! What now!" I exclaimed. "Earthquake?!" Chase or perhaps Jason, exclaimed. "Or tornado!" I added. "That's all we need!" The elevator lurched again and it felt like it dropped an inch or two. "We've got to get out of here," my companion said. "By chance, you wouldn't have a lighter or cellphone on you?" "If I did, I'd have it out by now. My phone is on charge in my apartment. You're not afraid of the dark, are you?" I chided. "No, silly. I want to see if there's a trap door so we can get out," he replied. "And then what?" I replied. "Climb into a dark shaft in a shaking building! Are you crazy?" "No, I'm being logical. If the elevator cable snaps, we could plummet to our deaths," he replied. "So, do you know if there is a panel in the ceiling where, at least, I can get out?" I thought about his suggestion for a moment. Though most of us don't show it, flight attendants always have that slight twinge of fear in the back of our minds about crashing during a turbulent flight. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "I don't find our situation funny. Why are you laughing?" "Irony," I replied. "I can see the headlines. Flight attendant, Tabitha Jacobson, dies in an elevator crash." "Hmm," I heard him say. "What?" I asked. "I'm surprised you're not climbing the walls in this situation. My wife, Mandy, would be petrified. She hates storms and is probably sequestered in the bathtub covered by blankets and pillows about now. It bothers me that I'm not there with her." "Well, Jason, if that's who you are, Chase should be there to keep her company." "Afraid not," he replied. "He called earlier. He's had to pull a double shift at the fire department due to the weather. So, back to the subject, is there an access panel in the ceiling?" "Yes, it's in the middle of the ceiling. But how do you propose to reach it, if you could even see it?" "Easily," he replied. "I'd pick you up on my shoulders, you could feel around till you found the panel and then push it open." I thought about it for a moment, and then with the next shake of the elevator, I decided to cooperate. "Okay, I'm game." "Great! Now inch your way over to me. I'm in a squatting position so you can climb onto my shoulders." I did as he suggested, felt my way to him until I felt his back and then his neck. I stood and took a step forward to "mount up" as it were, and then I heard, "Ouch!" "What!" I exclaimed. "You stepped on my hand! Be care not to kick me in the head when get on my shoulders." "Sorry," I replied. "But in the back of my mind, I really wasn't. When I was situated on his shoulders, he wrapped his arms around my legs and stood as I walked my hands up the back wall until I felt the ceiling. "Walk to the middle," I said. As he did, I felt for the panel and a moment later, I announced, "Found it." "Can you push it open?" "We'll see." I gave the panel a push, but it didn't budge. "It's stuck. Hang on tight, I'm going to give it a harder shove." "Go for it!" he said. When I did, the panel gave way, but so did my mount. He tumbled backward, but luckily our fall was prevented by the wall of the elevator. The good thing in this effort, we now had some light. Apparently, there were emergency lights in the elevator shaft--go figure. I dismounted and gave my companion a good, hard look. The man looked exactly like Chase; same build, eye color and even hair style. "And you say you're not Chase?" "I can prove it, now that we have light." "Okay, prove it. Let me see your driver's license." "Well, that's back at Chase's apartment. But I can still prove it." "How?" "I assume you are familiar with Chase's body?" "You would assume correctly." "Does he have any tattoos?" "No." "Well, I do!" He then started to unbuckle his belt. "What the hell are you doing?" "Showing you my tat." He then turned his back and exposed his butt cheek. There was a large, fancy, red heart with the words, Jason and Mandy Forever written within it in gold lettering. "That was my valentine's present to my wife. She has a matching one on her butt cheek as well." I turned my back and hid a smile. "You could have had that done yesterday as far as I know." "Geez, Tabby, what will it take to convince you?" he exclaimed, as he pulled his pants back up. I then laughed with relief, turned and gave him a smile. "Just kidding. I believe you. Chase is petrified of needles. He'd pass out at the sight of one." "That's the truth. He can run into a burning building with no fear, but when it comes to the needle, he's pretty much a wimp." Once again, the elevator shook. "What do you say we get out of this box before it falls?" Jason asked. "Agreed!" I climbed onto Jason's shoulders once more, grabbed the edge of the opening and pulled myself up. It was a good thing that I worked out regularly and my arms were strong enough to pull me up. A moment later, I was on top of the elevator. I may have been able to pull my weight up, but if I'd tried to pull Jason up, I would have been back in the elevator. Jason handed me his belt, and I attached it to a pipe near the opening so he would have something to grasp and pulled himself up as well. I'd seen movies before with adventures climbing elevator shafts. Never in a million years would I think I'd be doing that very thing. But our climb would be fairly easy. There was a built-in ladder in the shaft which we grabbed on to. In examining the elevator cables, they looked okay from this vantage point, but we didn't know what it looked like higher up, so we ventured on the ladder to the next floor where we found an emergency release handle to open the door. We stepped out onto an empty hall way and made our way to the stairway. It was lined with tenants, which was a logical place to hold up during the storm. Jason and I weaved our way among the tenets and headed up to my apartment. He wanted to use my phone to call and check on Mandy. When we reached my floor and opened the stairway door, we were met by Chase and Mandy. "Tabby!" Chase exclaimed, as he wrapped me in his arms. "I was worried to death about you. The building next door got touched by a tornado and part of it collapsed against this one." "I'm fine, Chase," I replied. "Jason and I got stuck in the elevator." Mandy then approached me. "I'm sorry you saw what you saw. I wish you'd stuck around for us to explain." "It was a shock, I admit, but upon closer examination of Jason"--I then cleared my throat-- "He proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wasn't Chase." Mandy then folded her arms and looked at Jason from the corner of her eye. "And how did you do that, since your wallet is at Chase's?" Jason grinned, put his arms around her and said, "I just proved to her that you were my heart and soul." He then kissed her. Suddenly, the lights came back on. We went to my apartment and looked out the window to see a bright, sunshiny sky. Jason and I sat down with Chase and Mandy and told them of our adventures in the elevator and had somewhat of a good laugh about the situation. However, I think, for a while, anyway, I'll be taking the stairs.