text: The upside of conducting experiments over the Colorado River is that if things go haywire, there's a cleanup system of currents. The test site above the Grand Canyon had more than five thousand tests under its belt. That didn't hide it from the critical eye of budget evaluators from the interior office. Science for the sake of progress fell far short of science for military or economic gain. It's all about the dollar signs, baby. Jerry Fallington presided as the head of the Icarian project. Two post-grad degrees from MIT marked him for greatness, but he felt chinks in the armor of that idea with every thousand-foot splatter scream. The council for strategic growth tasked Jerry with overseeing the genetic modulation for human flight. Yes, you heard that right, and no, officially the US government wasn't funding Dr. Thoreau style experiments. Officially, they were simulating multi-layered defenses to hypothetical Soviet aggressions. After the discovery of the Soviet Mermaids, the president privately agreed that America had to fight fire with fire. "Retired" German scientists of questionable moral standing operated under isolated free rein to enact an unorthodox defense plan. After the unmitigated disaster of the Bayou based alligator people, acting department heads added an addendum requiring a moral supervisor, ideally of Midwestern stock, to avoid the heretical contaminants that infect the intellectual communities of both coasts. And thus, mid-level manager, Jerry Fallington rose to his position as head of the Icarian project. Cold name credit to his petulant teenage daughter, Sabrina, who everyone agreed was too smart for any of the crop heavy state schools. Under the dry eye of the Arizonan sun, Jerry learned not to squawk every time a test subject wet their wings in the river below. The Germans joked that he was two screams away from a Sauerkraut queen. Which baffled Jerry, as he believed Germany to now operate democratically. The Germans tsked. They knew they were funny; the whole world be damned. It wasn't until their bittersweet triumph on test number 5322 that Jerry mused as to why they hadn't installed a trapeze style net below their test site. He curdled the mood like a vegan at a hot dog eating contest. "Fear of the unknown is necessary, Jerry." "Yes, Jerry, we couldn't let the failures spend life with their worthless wings tucked in shame. They flew fast, just in the wrong direction." Jerry could only stare at his morally questionable white lab coat clad collaborators. "I guess you're right, boys." Never one to be out of the group, Jerry swallowed his good intentions and canceled his order for nets. At least he could chuckle at the mad scientists flailing in vain as they tried to capture off-brand angels like oversized butterflies after the first successful trial. Officially, Jerry Fallington retired to Sioux City, but legend has it that he stayed on to oversee Operation Ocean Overwatch as the birdmen took to the skies. Like hawks in pursuit of fish, they flew over the Pacific, only their bounty was Russian and genetically melded between Babushka and bluefin. The Soviet aquatic espionage effort was quickly picked clean via wing and harpoon. The Feathered Furies, as they called themselves, were granted leave and took up residence in the wilderness of Papua New Guinea. Whether ground-bound Jerry followed can't be confirmed. But the locals speak of a kind legend that prefers brown loafers and sliced cheese.