text: Cocoa Beach 1981 On January 14, 1981, I had twins, a boy named Mark and a daughter named Amanda. They were prom babies, nine months to the day of the prom. They were born in a military hospital in Jacksonville. When I graduated from high school in June of 1980 no one except my boyfriend Johnnie knew that I was pregnant. There was a reason for this as I went to a private Christian School. It was an Episcopal Church school which was more progressive than other Christian private schools but a pregnancy would have been grounds to be expelled. Johnnie came to my prom at my school and hated it. We were watched like a hawk, but when I went to the Cocoa High School Prom, two weeks later, we skipped the prom and spent the evening in the wealthier section of town at my parent's condo. They were away for the weekend. Johnnie had always wanted to be a professional surfer. He hated school and barely graduated from high school in 1979. My parents thought he was a beach bum. The more they disliked him and the surfing culture, the more I liked him. We got married two weeks after graduation and the whole town knew about it. My parents were very upset about it but grateful that at least when the babies were born, we would be married. In their generation, this was important on the birth certificate to have married parents. We lived in a cottage house that my parents let us live in. It was old and dated but at least we didn't live under their roof. After the babies were born, Mark decided he wanted to join the military to everyone's surprise. He was doing pretty good as a surfer which was why people were surprised. He joined the navy and we headed to Mayport which is near Jacksonville. I waved as the ship pulled out of port. The twins was a couple of months old. He would be gone for three months but I didn't know that this would be the last time that I saw him alive. Right before the ship returned to Mayport, Johnnie was found dead in his bed on the ship. The findings were that he had taken his own life but no one knew exactly how he did this. It couldn't be proven that he had taken his own life, so cause of death of undetermined. I was heartbroken and couldn't believe that Johnnie had taken his own life. At the viewing, he looked like he was asleep. My parents as much as they didn't like Johnnie, made sure that he had a proper funeral and burial. He had no family as his father had died in the surf when he was 5 years old, trying to save Johnnie's life and when he was 16 years old, his mom had died on cancer. His parents had grown up in the Florida Methodist Home in Melbourne and both had been abandoned by their parents. So here I am at nearly 19 years old, a widow with two infants under six months old. I went to Cocoa Episcopal College and graduated with a business degree. My son Mark looked like a clone of Johnnie and shared his talent for surfing. Mark though was much better than Johnnie ever was. Tears came to my eyes when Mark won the Eastern Conference championship. Happy for him and sad that Johnnie wasn't here to see this. With his long blonde hair and green eyes and thin body, Mark looked like Johnnie did at age 19. I had remarried a surfer who got along well with my kids. Actually my husband Keith trained my son. I knew him from Johnnie. We had two more children. Shortly after Johnnie died, I got a phone call from an unknown woman telling me that Johnnie's death was no accident. Then I got a letter telling me the same thing with no details. I ignored it and didn't tell anyone about it. I had suspected that something wasn't right especially when it was reported that Johnnie was depressed. Johnnie had no gunshot wounds, nor did he have drugs in his system. The autopsy stated that Johnnie didn't have any wounds on his body indicating a fight or indicating that he'd been stabbed. He had no known medical problems. 2021 Nearly 40 years after Johnnie died, someone came forward and admitting to killing Johnnie by poking him with something that caused the heart to stop. This person admitted to doing this to several other people while he was in the Navy. The Navy suspected something was up but dealt with the problem by moving him around. He worked at Naval base hospitals. He also admitted to killing others as well when he retired from the Navy and worked in a hospital. . This person was on their death bed (it was a death bed confession) so nothing could be done. Amanda and Mark never got to know their father personally. All they knew him from were pictures, footage of surfing competition, a few family movies. I gave an impact statement to military police. Since I really didn't know Johnnie's medical history, I know Amanda was concerned that he might have had heart issues, which thankfully he didn't have. I know my husband Keith was always suspicious that something had happened to Johnnie. He told me a scary story about his uncle who was in the navy who witnessed a murder while hiding in a closet. Never knew what happened except that the person who did it got away with it.