text: You'll think this is plain corny and would want to gorge your throat out and I won't blame you but hear me out. You waltz into a party, skin all over the place and I mean it. Girls throwing their bums on stranger's members, their thighs and cleavage on display, sensualizing there every move. Perfumes of every scent invade your nostrils and make its route straight into the mind, into this one section of the brain that causes individuals to lose all mental abilities and make them crave a person, paying no mind whether they got bunny teeth or droopy lids. Early in my twenties, I can still vividly remember Mister Harry during one scorching afternoon of Sex Ed class explaining that segment functions, the hypothalamus, to bunches of lascivious teenagers. Old Missy was squirming in her seat right in the back, blond strands framing her lovely features, I’ll bet all my liquor that it had to do with Jay's rugged-looking hand. That bastard... You turn some corners and pick a green jug from a cooler and them scanty hair on your nape stands up, the darn house ain't heated and now you can't feel your fingers. You look around, and naturally, it's Sodom and Gomorrah which is expected, it's a New Year's Eve party and people lose all brain function throughout. The air is dense, seems almost electrified. You find a few comrades and catch up. Their lives are as shit as yours and you're glad, patting their forelimbs to comfort them-i’m-too-cool-to-shave bums. Smokes are blown into your face and your blood boils but you grit your teeth and take another sip, i'll-bred sons of a.... Bunches of sniff, sniff are coming from the shadowed corners, exhibits are being given for free on a pool table and a dramatized play is being performed in the living room, punches flies and drops of blood adds color to the expensive cedarwood. And you lie to yourself that you love it. It's a paradise here, ain’t a place you rather be. This woman marches towards you, hands on her hips and chin held high, your malachite orbs are locked on her dainty breast, she wraps you in a blizzard of cotton candy and drags her hands over your body, starting from your neck and you held your breath, tightening your eyes and swallowing down the acrid vomit. Lady strokes your chest and biceps and tiptoes her locked-set lips to your upright chin, bestowing a wet kiss. You bury your face in her hair and inhale the scent of her shampoo, coconuts. She straightens your head, her acrylic nails stab delicately at your neck as her cold slender finger caresses the skin. She bats her cartoons lashes and you knock your lips firmly onto hers tasting the women’s dawn-tinted lipstick, sucking it clean off and exploring her warm mouth. Having enough you sever the heated embrace, her lips are left swollen and throabing but you pay no notice, you've lowered and spat it all off near her crimson corset heels, wiping your mouth in disdain. Her drew on brow furrows, causing wrinkles on her nose as she gives you a sparkly finger and walks away balancing her assets. You rotate your eyes and settle against the wall, shivers spread throughout your body, the coldness pierces your half unbutton faded blue Oxford shirt. Hands in pockets you rummage for a cigar and awaits the next girl to come to you. Having another twenty-five years or so of women throwing themselves at your feet without lifting a finger, you intend to enjoy it to the fullest. Sticking the slender roll between your lips you reach for a messy counter with scattered liquor, bunches of it dripping on the hardwood kitchen floor. You grasp whichever seems the strongest and downed it in one huge gulp, the burning sensation spreads in your mouth and down the windpipe and you feel alive. You screech profanities, boosting your arm up putting the liquor on display, everyone copies you and it’s ensued with applauses. You take another great gulp and you swear that instant you felt your heart bleed and your lungs shut and it wasn't due to the booze. You shake it off and test your limits taking on another four or five bottles, certain to meet the next day with your nose flaring in a dumpster. The room stank and the voices were gonna burst your brain any seconds now. Everything being too twisted and ugly you bulldoze through the sea of people, elbowing whoever stood on your way and steps unto the patio in relieve, you inhale but it makes your mind spin, and your ribs ache. Your stomach thunders and you retched up of a thick stream of vomit in a flower pot. Your choking and avidly coughing, eyeballs are bulging and turning red and your knuckles are drained of blood from holding onto the steel railings so darn hard. This is it you tell yourself I'm out of here. I'll give the cheating bastard a call and accepts the job at his god-forsaken company. Mom will bounce with joy over the thought of her son living like them pitied dull-minded characters, you repeated that lie to yourself over and over again. You hear a giggle, it is lengthy and warm and irritates the skin oughta you. With a thorny voice, you mustered "Does my pain amuses you?" The volumes rose and tenderly stream over you dialing down the frantic battering of savage boar going mad in your head "Quite actually" You exempt to twist your head to see which boorish person...and another set of puke down the pot. "You're all right?" a faint tone of amusement linger in her voice "So now you care" you scrub your teeth and lips with your tongue and spits, using your sleeve as a cloth. "I just don't want the plants to be overwatered" A chuckle burst from your sore mouth and takes you aback, staring into the vomit a sudden weariness slumps you. You march towards the lonesome figure in the far end of the patio and sat facing the women who had her back rested against the railings while you establish yourself by the wall. She throws you a bottle which you coarsely catch and take pleasure as the liquid clears out your mind and rejuvenating your organs back to life. "I have never experienced that before" you say, putting the bottle down. She raises an eyebrow. "Being given a water bottle at a party" you explained. She smiles, those warm smiles people rarely give. It was tender and sweet which was queer because she wasn't attractive. She wasn't unpleasant to look at but has clearly not been elected prom queen. A dimly lit lamp lighten your side of the patio while the rest was coated in darkness. The sounds from the house were muffled and the numberless stars shone bright, the wind seems to stand still while the leaden clouds came and went by the full moon who hang detailed and brilliant. You felt like spitting on it. "I kind of want to trample on the moon" You turn your sight to her in wonder, she was gazing at the sky. "Bad day?" She fixes her nectar brown eyes on you and gives a tight nod. "Same" "Seems like it, I was a witness" You smirk as you question how she was able to do it. It was a chilly night but as her rosy lips extend into a beguiling smile, made only to you, it gave way to the same feeling as being sheltered in blankets. You both sat on the austere concrete in silent, none passing meaningless words. You stare at her, her face was slightly curved, resting on the railing, broadcasting the translucent skin of her neck and it’s thin cerulean veins. Her eyes were set on heaven and her lashes glisten under the yellow torch. The longer you watched her, the more she seemed beautiful and you felt like punching yourself because this only happens in movies. She parted her lips "You're an asshole you know," Startled, "Why is that?" She stayed silent for so long, it seemed she was not going to answer "I saw what you did to my friend" You find yourself scouring your mind for any memories that could relate to what she was speaking about, finding none. With a sigh "The bond girl who you kiss and spit right after" "Oh!" you crack your knuckles "Well...Umm" She turns away from the endless sky and faces you, bursting in a peal of gentle laughter. "You don't seem like someone who gets tie-tongue" And she's right, you always have a response, nasty as it may be. You swallow and lose yourself in her eyes, the curves of its shape and the mellowness surrounding it. Her cheeks were flushed to the tip of her nose. "Are you cold?" "Well..." she rubs her hands "It's a bit cool it's all" By the time you thought of how idiotic you might look, you had opened up your arms. She stares and you wouldn't blame her if she made her way through the french window and out of the Mediterranean house and mocks you to her friends, the thought dwindle your heart and cut your breath short. For reasons you couldn’t quite explain, it is a sunless evening back in sweet old hometown and the sky, through a cracked window is threatening to pour. Your lips are slit and red drip down your chin, it burns and the blood vessels of your eyes has been jagged, the overlying skin is discolored and is slowly turning into a bleak purple, your ears reverberate with your father's voice as he twists himself in sick laughter. The unforeseen memory is replaced by a strain of laughter as the women draw close and embrace you. Her hands joining behind your sturdy back, making you break the promise of never having butterflies because of old Missy. She hid her face on your chest and you see her ears turning red. Your arms surround and held her, she had a petite figure and fitted quite well in your hands, you ran your crooked finger through her chestnut hair and gawked over the softness. This was disarming and you question the universe in complete puzzlement. "You make me feel safe," she whispers, as she causes friction on your chest with her jowl. You swallow and hope along with the saliva went down your tongue as not to reply anything stupid. "You make me feel warm" the words brushes against her face as your heart races. She opens her eyes and you feel bath in honey, if they are truly a reflection of the soul, you’ll bet all your money that her’s is pure. Softly she exhales and sinks into you as your grip tightens. It was in these manners that you pass the night. Before the birds begin there twittering and the city awakens and went on with it’s mundane day to day activities, she had left, leaving behind the sensation of a soft kiss on your cheek and the fading warmth on the curves of your scalene were for a few minutes she had rested her forehead as her hands held onto both sides of your waist, knowing well you were conscious as she didn’t care for subtly. You didn't dare to pursue her and ask for a number or an email or anything that might make you see or hear that enchanting laugh of hers again. You somehow understood that she has the potential to truly break your heart, you went through it once and the result? You stood on the edge of a cliff, waves crashing on colossal sharp-pointed rocks, tasting the salty breeze in your throat. And you somewhat knew that she would be more detrimental than all the women you ever been with. She made it painfully obvious that she did not want to remain in contact also and you guessed her heart was damaged as well. You open your eyes and face the rising sun, it’s rays lands on you through the iron rails as her footsteps fade, serene and mellow. You let out a sigh as you run your fingers through your hair, gripping it, feeling so darn cold again. Hardening your jaw tight and shaken with the emotions that had once laid dormant, you inhale her fleeing rosemary scent. You sit still and let her slip through your fingers, both of you being too damn broken already.