text: There is always someone who gets picked on in life. When I was at school it was Jeremy Longbottom. He was a mountain of a guy, ginger hair and freckles. His teeth stuck out way beyond his lip and consequently he couldn’t pronounce his ‘L’s so if you asked him to say ‘lovely lollies’ he would end up saying ‘wovely wallies’...much to the amusement of all the kids gathered around, who found it extremely funny no matter how many times we made him say it. We were all so unfair to him. But we were just all kids. Jeremy Longbottom had another problem that led to him being laughed at...he was crossed eyed! “Who you looking at Jez?” they would say to him “If you’re talking to me, it’s rude not to make eye contact!” much more laughter.... “I am wooking at you” he would say and a chorus of “I am wooking at you” could be heard coming from just about everyone in the classroom, but then... “SIT DOWN EVERYONE!” yelled Mr. Johnson our teacher “and SHUT YOUR MOUTHS ALL OF YOU” Everyone scurried to find their seat, get out their books and sit as if they were a bunch of ‘nerdy do-gooders’ which most of them weren’t! Mr Johnson continued to shout “Now what were you all laughing at?” (He knew exactly what they were laughing at; it wasn’t the first time it had happened) Nobody spoke. “Ok then - would you like to tell me what the class was laughing at Jeremy?” Jeremy sat very still in his seat, his huge frame spilling out on either side. He looked at the teacher sheepishly (well half looked as one eye looked at Mr. Johnson and the other one at the boy sitting next to him) and answered “Ummm Wincon told a joke and we were all waffing at it Sir”. Mr Johnson didn’t believe a word of it but there wasn’t much he could do about that so he told them all to read their passage and keep their mouths shut! No matter how much Jeremy got picked on, laughed at or generally disrespected, he never told on anyone. In a way it didn’t seem to worry him that much, and quite often he even joined in with the laughter. Jeremy’s mother Mrs Josie Longbottom never knew the full extent of how much her son got picked on at school. When she asked him as he walked in the door if he had had a good day, the answer was always “Yeah Great day Mum, rearry wuvly”. She did wonder why her son never really brought anyone home to hang out but when she quizzed him he always told her that he liked his own company best, him and his dog ‘Wag’. And of course Jeremy had his hobby, the one that no one but his mum and dad knew about. There was something else that none knew about too and that was the appointments that Jeremy went to each day after school with his mother - speech therapy. He knew that if he could only get rid of the problem he had with his letters it would hopefully make life a lot easier. “Righty-o Jeremy we are working really hard at this but you need to get your teeth straightened to help even more. How about it Mrs Longbottom - you need to get Jeremy braces to pull his teeth back and that will make a big difference”. “Oh dear me” she replied “I hadn’t really thought about braces. Of course we must. I’ll ring up when I get home”. Jeremy may have sounded dumb at school just because he had a speech problem and he may have looked as if he wasn’t the smartest kid on the block because of his problem eyes, but the truth be known, Jeremy was a very clever young man. He excelled in his science and computing class but because the rest of the class messed around so much they didn’t notice just how smart Jeremy was. At the end of the year awards night, the students were told who would be getting an award ahead of the night, and this year, because Jeremy knew he needed good marks in his last year, he was collecting the science, IT and English awards. (Every other year he had pretended to be dumb - he didn’t want to be a ‘show off’ he told his mum). There was a boy in his class that he knew was pretty smart too, Raymond, and he was collecting the Maths and History awards. He was never shy about letting the other kids know just how good he was too! He was a good looking guy so didn’t get picked on for anything. Life at school was easy for him. “Hey Jeza” one of the kids called out to him “How are you getting three awards? Have you paid someone?” and the rest of them laughed. They weren’t malicious, just dumb really, and maybe at times just horrible! “I guess I’ve put the effort in this year” he replied shyly “Just in time for moving on eh?” said another one flicking through his comic. It was the last year of high school for this class and in a way Jeremy knew that he would miss them. Despite the name calling and being laughed at all the time, they were quite funny, mostly at his expense but they did let him join in some things. When they got their basketball stuck behind the backboard they would ask Jeremy to jump up and hit it out, which he did - they would kindly let him have a few shots at the ring. He enjoyed shooting the ball up towards the ring but when he didn’t even hit the ring someone always said “you need to go with your right eye Jez or you’ll never get it in!” They didn’t know that Jeremy was booked in for an eye operation sometime next year that he was hoping would fix his eyes permanently! He glanced up at the basketball ring thinking ‘three pointers here we come!’ They also let him be the ‘end of the rope guy’ when they had school sports and it was the novelty games, like ‘tug of war’... The team with Jeremy on the end of the rope always won, he was so heavy and strong! Of course he was patted on the back and ‘high fived’ after they won but that didn’t last long! One morning after the awards had been announced, Jeremy walked into his classroom to hear one of the boys yelling out “here comes Einstein” most of the class chuckled except the few who said “who’s that?” Jeremy was both embarrassed and a little bit pleased at the name they had given to him. “Einstein” he said out loud “Who would ever have thought?” So for the next few weeks he was called ‘Einstein’. There was no more ‘Dumbo’ or ‘football eyes’ (One at home and one away) or ‘Wongbottom’ and he didn’t mind. He was aware he was nowhere near an Einstein but Jeremy knew, deep down that he would do well in life. He was happiest in the garage fixing up computers, clock radios, fans, light fitting and just about anything electrical that most people didn’t have a clue about, or couldn’t be bothered to find out! He didn’t charge much money as most of his customers were friends of his parents but he made enough pocket money to keep him going. In the break between finishing high school and starting university to do an electronics degree he gave all of his savings to his mother and this went towards his eye operation. It was scheduled for six months’ time, so between now and then they worked together to get as much ‘repair’ work as possible for Jeremy to do so they could pay for the operation. University was totally different than high school had been for Jeremy. The students were more mature in many ways so the name calling and personal jokes ceased. Some of the others called him ‘big guy’ and ‘ginger nut’ but Jeremy didn’t mind that - lots of the class had nick names. He looked around the room one day and realised that if you had something ‘different’ about you and stood out a little, it didn’t matter. There was one guy in a class who had dreadlocks down to his waist, a lizard tattooed down the length of his nose and a ’fedora’ on his head and everyone loved him! When Jeremy had his braces put on people were more interested in why he was doing that at his age rather than his speech impediment or strange looking eye. “My Gran has teeth like you Jeremy, she doesn’t care that we all call her ‘Bucky’ - it’s no big deal but she is ninety now!” said one guy. “Well” said Jeremy to himself, I’m only young and I wouldn’t care if it was just my teeth that needed fixing up- but I’m not telling the girl of my dreams one day that I really ‘Wuv her’!!” It took a long time for the braces to ‘settle’. Jeremy had a lot of trouble eating without pain and there was so much he wasn’t able to eat that he could before. After a few weeks when the discomfort had gone his mum told him “I think I’ll get myself some braces, ones that really hurt me, look at all the weight you’ve lost!” In his mid-season break from Uni Jeremy was booked in for his eye operation. He told some of the guys he had become friends with that he wouldn’t be around for a while because he was having his eye ‘fixed’, would be away for a few weeks. “So” said one of his friends “you’ll be able to see quite clearly some of the girls that I’ve been pointing out to you!” “What? Oh yeah, funny” said Jeremy thinking that it sounded alright to him!” The operation went well. Of course Jeremy couldn’t see what his eye looked like for three days and then he wouldn’t feel the full benefit of the surgery for quite a few weeks. The bandage was tightly wrapped over his eye and around his head. He was told that the operation was successful as far as the surgeon was concerned but the test would be when it was tested! Day three came and Jeremy’s mother stood in front of him with a hand held mirror. “Do you have to have a mirror right in front of my face Mum?” “Oh Jeremy, how long have we waited for this, for your eye to be straight? Of course I do. The Doctor unwound the white strip from around his head and Jeremy sat up straight - the last bit came away and he stared into the mirror...... “Amazing” was all he could say. He looked at his mum and she was crying. After they arrived home Mrs. Longbottom checked out her diary to see when the braces came out of Jeremy’s mouth. “Only two month love and your braces are due to come off and then it will be intensive speech therapy. I’ll have myself a new son!” When his braces came off it was hard to believe it was the same person. Instead of what seemed like huge teeth hanging out to dry, in their place were straight, white teeth. It seemed to change Jeremy’s face, and beaming at his mother as they sat having a celebratory coffee together she thought ‘I never thought the day would come when I could call my son handsome!’ Jeremy was in his second year of university now - a ‘straight A’ student but still quiet about his achievements. He had made a few good friends and was enjoying life. He had eyes that looked in the same direction, straight teeth, weight loss (he still had ginger hair but it was in vogue now) and the ‘crowning stroke’ came on his mother’s birthday. The family of three had gone for a meal to celebrate. They came home for cake and coffee and were all sitting at the dining room table when Jeremy spoke “Mum I would just like to say that I hope you’ve had a great day, you’ve always been a terrific mum to me...Happy Birthday and I Love You” Mrs. Longbottom just stared. For as long as she could remember her little and then bigger boy had told her “I wuv you” but today.... Even Mr Longbottom was touched, saying “Son I’m proud of you. Say something else” “I LOVE LOVELY LUCIOUS LOLLIES” Jeremy shouted. He sailed through his degree, passing of course, and being asked to consider doing his Masters. It was no surprise to anyone that Jeremy didn’t have to apply for jobs - people heard he was available and put their offers on the table! Life had turned around three hundred and sixty degrees since he left high school. The position he took was with a large, well one of the largest around, IT companies. It had offices all around the world, London, Singapore, Japan, Australia to name a few. Jeremy had a job title that needed a really long badge to go on and he got one! Along with his own state of the art office and a very substantial salary!! It had taken a lot of what seemed like punishment as a child, determination and grit as a teenager (and some cosmetic and therapeutic intervention along the way too) to get to this stage of Jeremy’s life, but as he continually thought, it was worth it. He had his first big corporate function after being at his new job for only three months. He was the lead speaker and a lot rested on him to do his firm proud!! “I have every faith in you Jeremy otherwise I wouldn’t be taking this chance - you know some of the names of the people coming to this don’t you?” his boss said to him. “Unfortunately I do” Jeremy thought to himself. He needn’t have worried! It was a huge success. There had been a few guest speakers throughout the evening and at the end of the night Jeremy was standing in a group with his peers discussing the evening, having a well-deserved drink and relaxing now that it was all over. “Well done Jeremy” his boss, tall and confident, the president of a large conglomerate group patted him on the back “You were well prepared and the presentation was what I was hoping to see and hear” and he walked off smiling. Out of the corner of his eye Jeremy could see a male figure walking towards him ‘I know him from somewhere’ he though as the man walked up to him and stood face to face. “That was outstanding Jez, or should I say Einstein?’ “Raymond” Jeremy shouted, delighted in seeing him. “Less of the Einstein - have you met some of the brain boxes in this room?” “I have met quite a few of them Jez my friend and let me tell you, you belong up there with them. Einstein is suitable for you, believe me”. Then the group they were standing in joined in with calling Jeremy Einstein, laughing and drinking, until Jeremy and Raymond decided that they needed to sit somewhere a bit quieter to catch up with the vacant years between them. As they were walking towards a table Raymond jokingly turned to his old school friend and said “Say lovely lollies Jez”.