text: The farther I look the more the tunnel shrinks. I’ve been in here for miles. I don’t remember how I got in and I’m sure I won’t know how I get out. “Get a grip” I think. It’s laughable to think that’s possible. I walked away without my name miles ago. I don’t even know who I’m telling to get a grip so how the fuck do I expect to do it. I wonder what my name is doing now. Does it miss me? Does it care that I’ve abandoned it? I picture it crouched down, knees tucked into its chest, cold, alone, afraid. Well maybe if it would’ve kept walking it wouldn’t be alone. It’s not my fault that it gave up. I was getting sick of listening to it complain anyways. It acts like I wanted to be here. If anything I should be the one that’s upset. I’m the one still walking! Coward. “COWARD!” The sound echoes with ferocity. From all around it’s shouted back at me. COWARD! COWARD! COWARD! The vibrations grow louder with each shout and my bones begin to mimic them. I can feel my ribs insulting me quietly inside my chest. coward. coward. They were right. I couldn’t stand the stagnation so I abandoned my name. I am a coward. It didn’t want this just as much as I didn’t. Now it’s alone, cold, afraid. No time to sulk. I’ll just get a new one. Let’s see. How about, “Me.” It feels familiar against my tongue. Maybe it was my middle name. “Okay Me you better keep up.” Understood. Good. Wait, how far have I gone without a thought? Why isn’t Me talking? What’s the point of bringing a new name if it wasn’t gonna do anything? All it’s done is hitch a free ride inside of me. Asshole. The least it could do is find some food. I can’t even begin to comprehend how hungry I am right now. I’ll look around for something, anything. Behind me? No, there’s nothing but blood filled footprints. Maybe I stepped on a bug earlier. I sit down and examine the battered soles of my feet for anything. Nothing. Okay, don’t panic. Please please please please don’t panic. There has to be something. Does there? “SHUT UP ME!” Again the sound reverberates and grows unbelievably loud. My own words become daggers digging into my head, clogging my throat and piercing through my eyeballs. I bite into my middle fingernail. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. I keep chewing on the nail until I realize it. What is that? It’s warmth is a blessing to my mouth. The taste is indescribably fantastic. I can’t believe it. You were hiding it from me all along. You selfish, slimy, skank. Of course you would keep it from me. You used me. I bite down hard into the flesh. You were hiding it from me, Me. In my own fucking hand. STOP! THIS ISN’T RIGHT! Of course you would say that. You want it all to yourself. I continue ripping away and chewing the sweet meat. I bet you hid it in all of them, didn’t you. I bite hard into my ring finger. It’s there too! I scarf it down faster than the first. If this is in my hand I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve hidden throughout the rest. I sharpen the bone of my middle finger with my teeth for hours. STOP! DON’T DO THIS! I’m ignoring you you slut. I finally got it sharp enough to cut my tongue. I take the finger and make a deep incision into my stomach. I can feel you fighting back but I am stronger. I use the bone of my other finger to help open it up deeper. Warmth pours down my crotch and surrounds me. I shove my free hand deep within myself and find what you hid. I yank hard and pull the cord out. Wait, where did you go? Why can’t I hear you anymore? What’s happening? As I lay here I think about my name for the last time.