text: ​Steam rose from the coffee maker on the counter, filling the air with a warm aroma while Caitlin looked out the window into the backyard at three Blue Jays enjoyed the fresh morning air. The small birds who had only just learned to fly chased each other from tree to tree, singing as they caught one another and playing endlessly. For a moment, Caitlin let her mind wander. "How freeing it would be to be a bird. To be so far away, perhaps overseas or even in another time." She thought about these things often, feeling anywhere was better had to be better than where she was. Caitlin might have stared out the window all day, but the sound of the toaster ejecting two breakfast pastries yanked her back into the real world. Caitlin grabbed the pastries by their end and dropped them into her hand. The underside of the tart was hotter than she expected, and Caitlin danced the toaster-tart around in her hand while she hunted for a plate in the dish rack. It couldn't be just any plate. It had to be just the right one. Quickly Caitlin filled through the ten or so plates in the dish rack, until she came across a small plastic one with a picture of an orange and white cat called Humphrey. Dropping the pastry on Humphrey's oversized smile, Caitlin blew on the tart, trying to cool it as she walked off the kitchen and to the edge of the stairs. "Molly, are you up?" As soon as Caitlin had finished her sentence, she heard a multitude of items falling and landing into the porcelain sink, which echoed from the second-floor bathroom. "Molly, You alright? Caitlin called out. A moment passed, and there was nothing. "Molly?" Caitlin called out again as she began to walk up the stairs. Before she could reach halfway up the stairs, Caitlin could hear the sound of spit hitting the sink and then the water running. "I'm fine mom," Molly called out while wiped the toothpaste from her mouth. "I couldn't reach the toothpaste." "Use the step stool, Sweetie." "That thing is wobbly," Molly replied. "It is not." "Mr. Paddington Bear says it is." "Mr. Paddington Bear is a hamster, sweetie," Caitlin said, almost laughing at the absurdity of the conversation. "Hurry up, your breakfast is ready," "Okay," Molly replied. A few moments later, Molly ran down the stairs, her loose shoe strings, and her pigtails bounced in rhythm. Jumping over the last three steps, Molly Jumped over them, landing on the ground with almost no grace and only catching her balance at the last second. Molly took the pastry from her Humphrey plate and took a large bite out of one side. Caitlin looked her daughter up and down as Molly was eating. She was wearing Multi-colored striped knee-high socks, a denim skirt and a t-shirt with a kitten wearing sunglasses on it. Molly had been going through an 80's phase since watching Back to the Future on cable. Caitlin hadn't embraced the look, but she had done little to discourage it either. "Molly ties your shoes," Caitlin said. "No, I'm a Rebel," Molly replied with her mouth full. "You're six, now tie your shoes." Molly lifted her leg in the air, outstretched towards her mom. Caitlin held in a sigh and knelt to tie the strings. The bus would be there soon, and it seemed faster, too, let Molly feel like she won. After one shoe was tied, Molly held up her other leg hopping on one foot as Caitlin tied the other string. With both shoe's tired and her feet were both on the floor, Molly looked at her mom, and with a cheesy grin that showed her two missing front teeth, she whispered to her mom. "Rebel." "I will make you think, rebel, now go get your vest, and I'll help you put it on," Caitlin said, staring at her daughter. Molly and Caitlin both hated the fact that she had to wear a bulletproof vest to school. It was a hot, uncomfortable thing that often left bruises on Molly's skin. She had voiced her opinion loudly on many occasions, and Caitlin agreed with her daughter, but laws were laws. They had been in place since before Molly was born, and Caitlin was still a child herself. No matter how much they disliked it, Molly nor any student could go to school without it. Molly went to the hooks near the front door and pulled down the pink bulletproof vest and headed back to the kitchen, where Caitlin was pouring a cup of coffee. "Can I have some, she asked?" Handing the vest to her mom. Caitlin looked at her cup of fresh coffee and gave it to Molly. "A sip." Molly took the cup with both hands and slurped the coffee the rim of the blue mug. When Molly was Finished, she handed the cup back, and Caitlin placed it on the counter. "Arms out," Caitlin said as she straightened the straps on the vest. Today Molly didn't oppose it. Outstretching her arms, Caitlin placed the pink vest over her head and began to close the buckles one by one. She was careful not to pinch Molly's skin as she did the day before. Molly was outgrowing this vest, and a new one was expensive. She just hoped that it would last a few more weeks. When the last buckle was snapped, Molly tugged at the bottom pull it down to somewhat more comfortable. The sight of the vest on her six-year-old wearing a bulletproof vest sent a cold chill down her spine. Caitlin worried about the day it wouldn't affect her anymore, and she accepted it as how things are. From the kitchen, the bus alarm blew, calling all the children from their homes. Children weren't allowed to be outside before the bus alarm sounded. It was thought to be too much of a risk. "Mom the bus," Molly shouted with excitement. "Okay Okay," Caitlin replied, walking to the door with Molly. Caitlin grabbed Molly's backpack from the hook by the front door and handed it to her daughter. Molly stepped outside and paused at the edge of the porch with her open hands facing the road. Across the street, and next door, all children did the same. Children needed to be visible; any violation of the rules would not be tolerated. The large black bus pulled up onto their street like something out of a Grim Reaper campfire story. It was fitted with slitted metal over the windows and a caged door at the beginning of the aisle. The bus came to a stop in front of Molly's house. The breaks release a loud hiss that sent half the dogs on their street into a frenzy. The bus doors opened, and two guards stepped from the bus taking a position on either side of the door. The two men wore heavy military-grade body armor. The faces were covered by a grey mask whose only features were two square slits for the eyes. Caitlin always thought the two men looked like they belonged in a war film rather than escorting children to school. Positioning themselves either side of the bus door, one of the guards signaled the children to the bus. "Have a good day at school. Caitlin said with a smile watching Molly walk down the sidewalk to the bus. For a second, Caitlin wondered why she had said, have a good day at school. Was it because her mom used to say she and her brother's each morning. It certainly was an outdated phase and should have seemed more out of place than it did. However, somewhere down the line, it had become a blessing whose familiarity brought her a bit of comfort. Caitlin watched as Molly took her place at the end of the line. Dropping her backpack to the ground on her left side, Molly outstretched her arms like all the other children. One of the guards moved from child to child, passing a handheld metal detector over each of them. The other guard searched for each backpack for plastic weapons. Firearms made from non-metals had been a growing issue over the last few years, and as a result, the intensity of searches had increased. The guard with the handheld metal detector approached Molly. He waved it in front of her and then down her back in her in a fluid motion. Satisfied that there weren't any weapons, the guard waved the children up the steps of the bus. One by one, the children quietly boarded the bus and took their assigned seats. Children were seated according to behavior with troublemakers in front nearest to the guards, and potential problem children placed in the middle. Molly sat in the back in a seat by herself. Looking through the slit in the window, she watched the passing cars, staring at the occasional dog with its head out the window. Her favorite part of the ride to school was counting the cows as they passed by the Harrison farm. The day before yesterday, Molly had seen five, and yesterday it was only three, but one was a new solid black calf with a grey spot on its forehead. Molly had names for them all; however, she was still deciding on the calf. As they passed by, she squinted through the slit and quickly counted them. She saw Edgar and Karen, Lisa and Mr. Moo, But no calf this morning." She would count them again in the afternoon. Perhaps the calf would be around then. As soon as the farm was out of sight, Molly put her head against the seat and waited. Two more stops and eight more children, and they were headed towards school. Once over the train tracks, it wasn't long before she could see her school in the distance. The single-story school stood behind a nine-foot chain link fence. Half a dozen Guards walked the length of it at any given time. There was no yard or track outside, and the playground had been removed years ago, leaving only a decaying concrete slab where it used to be. Any physical activity had to take place in the school gym where it was safe. The bus pulled up to the front of the school, and the bus doors opened to a passage made of steel and thick reinforced glass. The two guards stepped off the bus first. When signaled row by row, each child stepped from the bus, revived their backpack and walked single file into the school. Another metal detector waited for them as they passed into the school. Last week Jimmy Vann's pencil sharpener had set off the detector. He was quickly taken away and hadn't been seen since. After they passed through the metal detector, each student would line up where their teacher was waiting. Molly's teacher was Mrs. Ramsey. Molly liked her; many students did. She was always kind and gave extra time during art & crafts. On stormy days let her students pick a movie to watch. At home, Caitlin had started the laundry and began to pack away some of hers and Molly's winter clothes into her bedroom closet. A sweater with a poorly crafted reindeer on it was among the many things she placed in the closet. Even though Molly would outgrow it by next winter, Caitlin couldn't bring herself to throw it away just yet. When everything was packed away, Caitlin closed the lid on the box and pushed it to the back of the closet. Leaving her bedroom, she walked down the hall to the stairs passed the door that Molly and Caitlin never opened. It was to Lauren's room, Molly's older sister. Lauren had closed the door before leaving for school and never made it home to open it again. So it remained closed, left as Lauren had left it for almost two years. Caitlin stopped and for a moment and reached for the knob. Her hand shook, and she pulled back. A tear streamed down her cheek, and Caitlin quickly pulled away and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Falling over the sink, she cried. Her tears dripped and fell into the sink. She wished she could brick over that door. It only served as a reminder of what she had lost, and Caitlin desperately wanted to forget. After a moment, Caitlin looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. "It was eight-forty five Molly was in a class by now." She thought. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she quietly walked into the living room and turned on the TV. Still, on the cartoon channel, Molly had left it on the night before the TV came on with a flash of color and dancing fruit. Caitlin changed the channel to 11-1. It was A government-issued network that displayed a map of the United States. Red dots would appear showing cities were shootings were according, and a panel on the side of the screen would show the names of specific schools, malls, and other locations. Already there were three -- one in Dayon, Evansville, and Little Rock. More would most certainly come before the day was over. They always did. To finish their math lesson the children pulled their desk in close in a semicircle around Mrs. Ramsey. The children watched as she drew a new problem on the board. "Okay, class, who can tell me what two plus two is?" She said as she turned to them with a smile. More than half the class raised their hands. Mrs. Ramsey looked out at eager faces and jumping hands. "Roger, can you tell me the answer?" Mrs. Ramsey asked. "Four" He replied "That's right. Now, who can tell me what is three plus three?" Molly was quick to raise her hand this time. Stretching it out, trying to be higher than everyone else. "Molly, what is three plus three?" Mrs. Ramsey asked. "Six." She quickly replied. "Very good." "Alright, class, this is the last question, and we will move on to arts and crafts. Who can tell me Four plus Four is?" Mrs. Ramsey looked out almost her entire class with their hands up. At the far end of the semicircle, say Sussie. Sussie was a good student, made good enough grades, and always turned in her homework, but she was shy and rarely raised her hand in class. Lately, the school had taken notice. If she didn't start participating soon, she would be removed from the school and marked as a social threat. "Sussie, why don't you answer this one." The little girl looked up from where she was playing with her pigtails. She was surprised Mrs. Ramsey had called her. For a moment, she stammered, scared to say the wrong answer. "Eight," she unsurely answered. "Very Good." Susie smiled. She liked that she was right, and knowing the answer made her feel smart. "Alright, class, it's time for arts crafts. The excitement in the room grew as the children pushed their desks back against the wall making the room as Mrs. Ramsey brought out the painting Easels. The children loved to paint, and Mrs. Ramsey gave them almost an hour to do so. Molly knew what she wanted to make. She picked up the brush and dipped it in brown, and carefully began to paint the tree in her back yard from memory. She wanted to get every branch right, the height, the thickness had to be perfect. When Molly was satisfied, she took the green and dabbed it, making the leaves and the grass around it, Mrs. Ramsey walked around from time to time looking at each of the paintings. "Outstanding students," she would say. Mrs. Ramsey loved her children and enjoyed watching their creativity, but she secretly hated arts and crafts time. During this time of day, the class was observed through a series of cameras. None of the students were aware of the cameras. Each Easel was in view, and a team of three psychologists studied each painting. They looked at each one carefully for any signs of antisocial behavior. Mrs. Ramsey knew about the cameras. She could feel eyes on her. Mrs. Ramsey felt as if she was betraying the children and worried about little Susie now that introverts had been placed on the watch list. Mrs. Ramsey wanted to speak up, but doing so would be the end of her career and possibly her freedom. By lunchtime, the kids of Mrs. Ramsey's class were hot and starting to tire. The bulletproof vest they were beginning to feel heavy and uncomfortable. Small moans of discord could be heard as the class walked to lunch. Mrs. Ramsey hoped lunch would make things better. The class walked into a small windowless room and gathered around a table where their tray's were already set; a single Meat patty, corn and grapes, and red kool-aid. Each child took their seat. Molly sat next to Karen, and they traded grapes. Karren likes smaller grapes and Molly bigger ones. In quiet, they ate the only sound allowed was the scraping of forks. While they ate, Mrs. Ramsey turned down the thermostat, dropping the temperature in the room and gradually cooling the children down. Caitlin had made a sandwich and chips for her lunch. Leaving the chips on a plate so that she could pick at them throughout the day, Caitlin carried the sandwich with her taking small bites as cleaned. She spent almost an hour in Molly's room, gathering socks and questioning how there could only be of each. Tossing them all into a laundry basket, she carried the basket past the living room on the TV. More red dots appeared. Incidents had happened in Denver, Kerrville, and a shopping mall in San Francisco. Caitlin started to walk away and go about her cleaning when a new dot appeared. The latest shooting was local. In her chest, she could feel her heart tighten and sink at the same time. Caitlin looked at the side panel, looking to see where the shooting had occurred. There was no information yet. Caitlin quickly began to panic. "Come on. Come on!" She shouted at the television. A moment and then another. She wasn't sure what to do. Part of her was reliving that day two years ago when Molly's older sister died. Caitlin wasn't sure how much more she could take. Almost in tears, the location finally appeared on the side panel. It was a school in the next town over. Her heart steadied, and she could finally breathe. She felt a wave of relief and then as she started at the dot on the screen sickness. "How could she felt relief?" She thought. Children were still dying and suffering. Was her only concern, Molly? When did she start to feel the rest of the world be damned? In the afternoon, Mrs. Ramsey sat down to read the class a story. One of the students, Sarah, had picked frog and Toad. One of the students' favorites. She held the book high for all of the class to see and began to read. "Frog ran up the path to Toa..." Before Mrs. Ramsey could get past the first line, A red light in the room started to flash in the back of the room. Mrs. Ramsey, for a moment, froze, and her skin went pale before reacting. "Alright, class. I want everyone to make your way to the back of the room and into the shelter. Single file, but be quick." She said as the metal window shutters came down and the door to the classroom locked with a loud click. Each student did as asked as shuffled into a tiny room. Mrs. Ramsey pressed a button on the wall, and a heavy metal door closed, sealing them inside. "I'm scared." One of the children said. "Me too." Came another voice. "It's going to be okay," Mrs. Ramsey said calmly. Molly was equally as sacred, but she knew Mrs. Ramsey would never let anything happen to them. The room was silent and too small to sit down. Everyone stood waiting and wondering what would happen next when one girl started to cry in the back of the room. Molly watched as Mrs.Ramsay walked over to her and held her. "Everything is going to be alright." She said with her arm around the girl. Then she began to sing. Underneath the soft sound of her singing, Mrs. Ramsey was angry. Above the safe room door, Mrs. Ramsey had spotted a blue light that indicated to her it as a Drill. It was the third in a month -- each time upsetting the children to tears. The drill ended close to 3 P.M. right about the time the children would get on the bus. Gathering their backpacks, they took the children took their assigned seats on the black bus with the slit windows. Molly sat in the back, and her head was leaning against the glass peeking from the slit. As the bus passed the Harrison farm, Molly counted the cows as they passed by. This time she only saw Edger and the baby with the grey spot on his forehead. At home, Caitlin had started to cook dinner. The aroma of sizzling meat filled the house. One by one, she cut the sliced potatoes and carrots before tossing them into a pot. The water boiled and bubbles formed on the water's surface. Placing the lid on the put, Caitlin walked back into the living room and looked at the screen. Sixty-three shootings covered the map. It was a horror show of red dots. "but it wasn't as bad as some days." She thought. Turning off the TV, Caitlin could hear the breaks of the bus and the howling of the neighbor's dog. Peeking from the window, Caitlin watched as the guard handed Moly her backpack. Tossing her backpack over her shoulder, Molly ran up the steps and swung open the door. She was happy to be home. With her arms outstretched, Caitlin ran into the living room and hugged her tightly, as she always did. "Did you have a good day?" "It was okay," Molly said, pulling off her shirt to reveal the vest underneath. Caitlin unhooked the Bulletproof vest and placed it on the wall hook. "Go wash your hands; dinner is almost ready." Molly ran off to the bathroom, and for a moment, Caitlin looked at the Bulletproof vest on the wall. They had made it through today and hoped that they would make it through tomorrow.