text: Crimson blood dripped down into the ancient apartment stairwell. I cursed and put my finger in my mouth, sucking on the fresh cut. I had cut it on a piece of upturned metal on the railing. The whole damn apartment was falling apart; last week my shower head had fallen off. I shook my head and continued descending on the staircase, the metal groaning with each step. "Morning princess," a voice said from behind me. I whipped around to face Kane, my neighbor. I scowled and removed my finger from my mouth, wiping it on my sweater casually. "Morning asshole," I crooned. Kane grinned and swept his dark hair back. "Did you hear there's a party at Jer's place tonight? It's supposed to be quite the rager," he said while wiggling his brows. I rolled my eyes, not stopping to wait for him. Kane continued walking down the steps behind me. "You should come with me, May," he suggested. I paused and turned around. Two steps above me, he was towering over me. I was average height, but he was already tall. The stairs made him a giant. I took a couple steps up so that I was closer to his height. "Yeah?" I said casually. Kane smirked. I shrugged. "Maybe. Now I have to get to work," I said as I began walking again. This time Kane continued in step beside me. "Got somewhere to be?" I inquired. He was beginning to annoy me now. Kane smirked and elbowed me playfully. "Nah, I just enjoy your company so much. You do have a way with people," he said sarcastically. I jabbed him in the stomach and he let out an "oof". That made me laugh. "That's what I get for being friendly?! Well, I don't want to see what happens if I'm rude," he breathed. I sped up in step until finally, I got to the first floor. "You have a good day," I said as I opened the front door to the building. Kane smiled goofily. "I'll see you at the party." I did not respond as I walked outside. The sounds of people chatting and car engines rumbling greeted me. I coughed on the fumes of a smoker standing outside the building and shot him a dirty look. I was late for work, but it did not matter much. My boss never noticed when I ditched, and I still got a meager pay check at the end of each month. It was a pretty simple way to make enough money to live in the city. It was better than living in the suburbs, where nothing much ever happened. For my whole life, I had felt like there was something waiting for me, something that would take me far away. The city was calling my name, so I answered. Now here I was, earning minimum wage at a pizza shop, living in a crappy apartment. My day was fairy simple. I worked the ovens, putting the pizzas in and pulling them out when they were ready. When my shift was over, I went home and flopped down on the bed. The springs squeaked under the weight of my body. I sighed and glanced at my dresser, which was overflowing with clothes. Maybe a party would be nice to take the edge off? It was free booze, which was better than nothing. A small part of me whispered something else, a name, but I ignored it. Yet... Kane would be there. Although he drove me crazy, there was something about him that made me feel... happy? no, that was not the word. I guess the only way to describe it was that I actually had fun when he was around. So I got up from bed and put on my favorite cocktail dress. It was way too fancy for an apartment rager, but I did not care. If I was going to show up somewhere, I would show up looking fabulous. The navy dress cut off just above my knees and had a mesh cutouts on the sides. I tied the halter around my neck and then slipped into a pair of converse. I said I wanted to look fabulous, but I was not about to walk down all those steps in heels. I picked up a lipstick tube and painted my lips a bright red. Perfect. The minute I walked into the apartment, I regretted coming. It smelled like vomit and old beer. Couples were sprawled out on couches, groping each-other and drinking themselves silly. Before I had the chance to turn right back around out the door, Kane pulled me inside and handed me a cup of beer. "This sucks," I whispered. Kane nodded. "I know right. But it's free beer!" he exclaimed. I laughed and chugged the beer. Kane cheered my name as I finished it, wiping my mouth. "What a woman," he murmured. I grinned. Kane lifted his cup and then took a deep sip. I laughed and began pulling him towards a table with bottles and cups scattered all over it. I knocked back a bottle of god knows what. Kane howled with laughter and put a hand on my shoulder. I shook him off and stopped abruptly. His touch on my shoulder felt off. It was as if his fingers against my bare shoulder were electric. Before the better part of me could stop myself, I was pulling him against me. I wrapped my arms around his neck end brought my lips up to his. He stood there stiffly, shocked. So I pulled away and stepped back. "I-I... I shouldn't have done that. I'm going home asshole," I snapped. Kane just stared at me, bewildered. I did not look back as I ran out of the apartment. The next day, I took the day off to walk around the city. It was so... grey. The skies were gray, the buildings were grey, and the street was grey. Even some of the people were grey. I passed a hotdog cart and glimpsed a large man trying to convince tourists that his hotdogs were New York's best. I began crossing a crosswalk but stopped in the middle. People passed me, ignoring me completely. I had to do something. It bothered me that my life was just... uneventful. So I turned around, making my way back to the apartment. It was as if something had just clicked. He had been right in front of me the entire time. Kane opened the door and grinned. I pushed through the doorway and kissed him. This time, he seemed less surprised. His hands wrapped around my waist. I pulled away just long enough to say, "this doesn't mean I like you, asshole." He laughed against my lips and that sound had me kissing him even harder. When I finally pulled away, we were both breathless. Kane had a smug look on his face, so I rolled my eyes. "So, you don't hate me after all?" he asked. I crossed my arms. "Maybe." For the next few weeks, I spent a lot of time with Kane. We even went out to dinner one night. He took me to a nice Italian place and bought me dinner, all the romantic stuff. He even bought me flowers when Valentine’s day came around. Things were truly starting to brighten up. The city seemed brighter too, with colorful billboards and happy-looking people. Maybe they had been there the whole time, but I was just too blinded by my own slump that I never noticed. All that brightness turned into dread on one Sunday afternoon. I was humming to myself in the bathroom when it struck me. I scrambled to check the calendar on my phone. I gasped quietly and quickly got dressed. I ran down the street to the pharmacy and bought what I needed, not even pausing to think. Then I was at Kane’s doorstep, crying silently. He tucked me into his chest and brushed my hair back, shushing me gently. Hand shaking, I held up what I had bought at the pharmacy. He took it with his free hand and examined it. Without a word, he pulled me inside and set me down on the couch. “I-I don’t know how this happened,” I sobbed. Kane offered one of his smirks. “I think you do,” he said. I scowled at him. “This isn’t time for joking, Kane. I could be...” I drifted off and sunk deep into the cushions. “Hey, it’s ok. It’s going to be fine. Just... head on into the bathroom, we will find out the situation, and then we will take it from there. It’s all going to be fine,” he explained. I nodded and got up from the couch. I took his hand and we went into the bathroom to find out if this was really happening. I prayed to myself that it was not. I was too young to be a mother. I had plans! Plans that I had not yet acted upon, but I was going to. A baby would complicate everything. It would ruin everything. As we waited for the test, Kane’s foot tapped on the tile anxiously. He had never told me what his plans were, but I doubted they included a baby. Kane reached over the counter to pick up the test. He stared at it intently. “Well? What is it?” I asked. Kane flipped it around, displaying a large negative sign. I exhaled. Kane was still silent and emotionless. I smiled brightly at him and gave him a tight hug. “Thank god,” I sighed. Kane looked at me with his brown eyes narrowed. “Would being pregnant with my baby have been the worst thing imaginable?” he asked. I thought about that for a moment. Then I told him the truth. “It’s not time. I have so much ahead of me... For a year I’ve been living in this city. I came here because it was supposed to be the city of opportunity. Yet I’ve done nothing but mope around. I think... Kane, I think this made me realize something,” I explained. Kane raised an eyebrow. I smiled sadly. “And that is?” “I need to do things. I need to work hard, at a real job, and I need to motivate myself... I hope you understand, but I don’t think I can do that with you,” I said softly. Kane looked hurt for a second, but then he nodded in understanding. “I'm going to miss you, May. If you ever need me... I’m just a few floors below you,” he said. I knew he meant it. If I came running to him for help a week from now, he would help me. That was the kind of person Kane was... And I had not seen it for months of living here. Yet when I finally had, this is how it ended: a broken relationship. But I was not broken. In fact, I felt fixed . I smiled to myself as I made my way out the door and stepped into the city. The lights were bright and people were laughing. The sky was blue with big white clouds drifting by. I glanced to my right and there was a huge billboard down the street. In big black letters, it read “It Starts Today”. I may have been crazy from an emotional day, but I began walking towards that billboard. I could have sworn it was calling my name.