text: Who knew giraffes were omnivores? When presented with food scarcity, they often compete with each other for the highest leaves. Their teeth shape and behaviors for a million years completely align with herbivores. The flat wide molars allow the animal to grind the plant tissue. Break through the cell walls to maximize nutrient absorption. Sure, they are dangerous creatures already with a “kick powerful enough to behead a lion” and can reach speeds up to 40 miles per hour. But no one expected this. Man must pay for his misdeeds when the treetops are stripped of their leaves. We fucked it up. &#x200B; &#x200B; Namibia, 2028: Our population has exploded in the past 5 years. The Insurgency of Cabo Delgato has spread. The Ansar al-Sunna, a radical faction of Islamic extremists, has successfully made Mozambique, Zimbabwe, and Botswana into an Islamic State. The Namibian military was decimated in the Battle of Luanda, Angola. Our country has been flooding with refugees since. We just couldn’t house them all on our own, but our allies gave up. We were deemed a lost cause. We have raided what forest cover we had left for medicines and lumber. ‘People are more important than animals’ our politicians said. It was true to an extent. But it just made everything worse. People were still starving on the streets, children dying from curable diseases, violent crime is the highest in our history. Our water sources are poisoned with our own waste. Almost all water sources have been contaminated one way or another. It was just a matter of time. The desert has spread. Eating up our marshlands and ridding our surrounding plant life. There is a reason the Ansar haven’t come for us, we are not a country but a mass grave. &#x200B; Then the giraffes. God, we weren’t ready. &#x200B; It started when the wildlife starting coming into our camps. Exploring for food as the prey was dwindling. We have lost hundreds to lions, leopards, cheetahs, hyenas, and wild dogs. They came in droves. Never before has anyone seen these predators working together to stay alive. Divundu became a refugee camp for 3000 people. The cup floweth over here. We lost Divundu to the animals. No one could hold them back. We were their prey. And one day, they stopped entirely. Our environmentalists have become as useful as our politicians. Half-baked answers to questions they have never been asked. Answers to quell the overwhelming fear sweeping the nation. Our people are not sated. They first appeared in Rundu, the largest refugee camp of 150,000 residents. A lone farmer witnessed a small tower of giraffes devouring the last of his livestock. No one believed him. How could they? These peaceful giants have been roaming these lands for a million years and only attack when provoked. A bus of children was found flipped over on the outskirts of town. The bodies of many were strewn about, well, what was left. The hollowed-out corpses and the shaking children whispering ‘the tall ones were here’ added support to the farmer’s claims. The hoove-shaped holes in their chests was the cherry on top. Giraffes were hunting us. God is dead. We had lost track of their population numbers. Our scientists couldn’t understand what they have been witnessing. The gestation period has decreased from 15 months to three. The litter size to 10. Giving birth is lethal to them. The calves claw and eat their way out of their mothers. They reach full maturity in 5 months. They’ve been breeding like rabbits and the current estimate is in the hundred thousands, nearing a million. This level of atavism is beyond us. Maybe they evolved? Certainly not within this time frame? Our villages were no competition. Since the discovery, Namibia has been quarantined. The last of us, 2000 survivors, are hiding in the Karibib Airbase. Without our military, this is the only way to defend ourselves. &#x200B; &#x200B; USA, 2045: The world is devoured. Eaten alive by these ‘Peaceful Giants.’ The growth in their numbers has been exponential. First, they ate Africa. All life is wiped out. Once again, they evolved. Long known as one of the mammals in the world that are not able to swim. Scientists believed that the long neck of the giraffe and the long legs would not provide enough energy to support its neck while in water. This was no longer the case. Their gestation period shortened, their litter size increased, their maturity is faster, and they are massive. The average northern adult giraffe now measures 50 feet tall. They now have long, sharp teeth adapted to ripping, tearing, and cutting flesh. Speeds up to 80 mph. Built like a tank, it takes a lot to stop them. And they swim. God can they swim. A new species has also arisen. Brevis Fortis Panthera. An average height of 6 feet, razor-sharp teeth, 30 mph, capable of walking on hind legs, complex problem-solving. They have large-scale cooperation. They can strategize. Their sense of smell is extremely sensitive and set to human. THUMBS. THEY FUCKING HAVE THUMBS. They use tools, open doors, start fires, and seem to have their own structured language. Fuck guns. They’re useless against the towers consisting of fifty or more. They stalk the streets foraging for any remaining stray pets. The wild dog packs that ran rampant in the beginning are now gone. We can only hide for so long. The Brevis, nicknamed Short Necks, have been raiding homes, offices, businesses, MILITARY BASES. Everyone’s a gangster until you have a man-sized giraffe aiming an M16 at your head. The Short Necks and the Extra Talls work together. Extra talls are sentries. If they see you or your group, you're as good as dead. They scream and alert all others in the area. If the Short Necks need a door kicked down, they call out to the ETs. If they know you’re inside but can’t find you, they torch the place. Leave no survivors. We don't have enough scientists to research them. We don’t have a large enough army to combat them. We are the holers, the last of our kind. &#x200B; &#x200B; Giraffica, 2090: Our society is flourishing. After the war, we were able to settle down. With mankind under wraps, our nations have been taken back by nature. All the high leaves we can eat. Our evolutionary advances have slowed a bit but we are still discovering new tribes across the world with different capabilities. In our homeland, our brethren have even taken to the skies. The bats are no longer the only flying mammals. Suck it. In the country formally known as japan, they can fish! Not only that, the newer generations are being born with gills in addition to lungs. The seas are now a reservoir of new foods. I’ve never had sushi before but i heard that Melmon can make one hell of a tuna roll. Our litter sizes are down to 1-2 again and our gestation cycle is almost back to our ancestors. Our growth rate has plateaued and is in balance. Short necks maintain the farms and buildings. They live indoors mostly and have lifelong relationships with their families. We really lucked out when we secured the last of the upright apes. Breeding seems to be the only thing they’re good at. They pushed back of course, but we dealt with the uprisings well. Us Extra Talls have kept many as slaves for harvesting meat. It’s actually a wonderful spectacle to behold. We throw a handful into stadiums and watch as they rip each other apart. Their eyes leak water when they clean the floors and prepare the meat. All in all, things are good. Our wars were well fought and easily won. Giraffe kind is at the top of the food chain. We are capable of making the world better. The ozone layer is fully repaired, the forests are taking back their lands, the reefs are growing and are bountiful with fish. We won’t screw the world up like the humans. &#x200B; &#x200B; Tall-boi-topia, 3500: We fucked it up. Things are bad now. Right where they started. Except we didn’t expect the next peak predators to be rabbits. Billions upon Billions of rabbits. But they're no ordinary rabbits. They’re the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! The rabbits’ got a vicious streak a mile wide! They’re killers! They’ve got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones filling the streets! &#x200B; &#x200B; Rabbit world, 5000: We fucked it up.