text: It was 3am. Becky was still asleep in her bed, wrapped in threadbare pajamas and throw blankets of varying states of faded. It was cold, but she was warm. The room was dark, minus the occasional swirl of yellow as a car passed by. The loud noises hadn’t woken her yet. They would though, they always did. “Becky. Becky, wake up, sweetie.” A ray of light hit Becky’s eyes as they opened, blurring her vision. She knew the voice though. “Mommy?” She replied. “Come on sweetie. Come on, we’ve got to go.” Becky felt arms slide under her and reached instinctively for support. She buried her face in her mother’s neck and tightened her arms around her. She knew what came next. “I don’t think so!” A voice roared from seemingly everywhere. Another burst of light, much unkinder than the last, and the noises began bouncing around her head. Becky shut her eyes tightly and covered her ears. She felt herself moving and knew the path without looking. Out of her bedroom, down the hall, straight through the doorway and outside. They didn’t make it outside. Somewhere between the hall and the door and the words she knew you weren’t supposed to say to people, they had stopped and turned around. Suddenly, she felt herself swinging and heard a scream that matched her own. She tried to reach for something to grab on to, to stop herself, but her hand caught nothing and she landed flat on the ground, face first. She bit her lip and tried not to cry. That only made it worse. Her lip hurt though, and it tasted funny. Blood. It tasted like the time she lost a tooth. Unable to help it, she cried. The noises became louder. She felt herself get picked up and buried her face again. Her arms and legs wrapped tightly around anything they could find. She heard the familiar woosh of the door , barely audible under another round of angry words, and it slammed behind them. She let her breath out. It was okay. After a few moments, Becky picked her head up and looked around. They were walking towards the park. That seemed fun. She had been dreaming so nicely in her bed, and although this was colder and not quite the same, it could be fun. Maybe they would go to the park. “Becky. I’m so sorry sweetie. Mommy is sorry. She didn’t mean for this to happen again.” Becky kissed her mother’s cheek. “It’s okay, mommy.” she whispered. She didn’t like to hear anyone sad. “Would you like to play for a little bit?” Becky nodded. She had never been to the park in the dark before. Usually when this happened they went to a diner not too far away and got ice cream or cake. Those were fun times. They started off very scary, but they couldn’t be too bad if they ended with ice cream. Right? Off to the park they went. No one was playing on anything, and Becky felt like the queen of the world not having to wait, take turns, or share. She went high on the swing, went down (and up!) the slide as many times as she wanted. She played in the sandbox, and no one knocked over her castle. She was, however, very very cold. Playing seemed to help. As the sun rose, Becky became tired. She looked over at her mother, who had been sitting, smiling supportively at her from a bench most of the time. She was asleep. Becky sat next to her and pulled a long arm around her. It’s not a nap, she thought, if no one knows about it.