text: “Are you ready?” She swallowed hard. The whole ride up, she was trying to forget where they were going. Now, the car pulled into the driveway and she had no choice. “Bailey.” Her mother’s tone was short. Insistent. “Yeah.” Bailey followed behind her mom up the concrete path, her feet remembering the way but her heart pulling her back. Ahead of her, she heard the jangling of keys, a lock turning and the front door being opened. Hesitantly, Bailey followed her inside the familiar doorway. Everything was how her Grandmother had left it. The pale worn carpet gave way to a large living area with a wooden rocking chair set in the corner. A small jacket hung off the back, left behind. A television, radio, and spider plant framed the room’s brown spotted couch. Her Grandmother’s house was small, but was one of the warmest places she’d ever been. Now, it was stillness that said everything was wrong. Different. The rocking chair wasn’t moving and television set was dark. But it was still Grandma’s house. It was still where she had spent so many summer nights eating ice cream past bed time and was sworn to secrecy. Where she’d cried over how John had made fun of her at recess and she reassured Bailey that she was smart, strong and going to get past this. A part of Bailey wished she would see Grandma coming in from around the corner, scolding her about tracking dirt in the house. A quick glance toward the large kitchen on her right was spotless, as usual, and the bedroom was at the far end of the room. The silence was broken when she heard the sounds of drawers opening and closing. Then, more noise. “I need your help in here. Please bring a trash bag.” Wordlessly, Bailey pulled a trash bag from her pocket and unfurled it, shaking it out as she walked back into the bedroom. It was just as she remembered it, a large bed in the middle of the room with its golden metal headboard. On the left wall, a chest of drawers filled with clothing. Currently, her mom was hurriedly pulling clothing out of the drawers unto the bed. A slight breeze was coming in through an open window. “There’s a local Goodwill I’m hoping we can donate to,” she said, no trace of emotion in her voice. “I think it’s the best way we can give back because I can’t see neither of us wearing any of this clothing. Do you?” Bailey just watched as shirts and pants she’d seen Grandma wear pile up on the bed. After a few wordless moments, her mom prompted her to start working so Bailey grabbed whatever was being thrown on the bed and shoved it into the trash bag. Vaguely, she knew her mom was talking about something, but she couldn’t concentrate. All she could think about was that Grandma was gone. What had their last conversation been? How long after Christmas had it been? She was so busy with school that she couldn’t place how long ago it had actually been. She was racking her brain trying to remember the last words they’d said when she saw the applique calico cat peeking out from the pile of clothes on the bed. Pulling it out, she held up the cotton sweatshirt to look at it more clearly. Suddenly, her Grandma’s floral perfume filled her nose. “Bailey, dear, do you mind if we go to the mall today? I have some coupons I want to see if I can use at the clothes store.” A young Bailey shrugged, rolling the cherry lollipop around in her mouth. It was the dead of summer and her grandmother had volunteered to look after Bailey for the weekend while her mother had picked up an extra shift at work. They’d done a couple errands in the morning, stopping at the bank where Bailey had gotten her sweet treat, and picking up her dry cleaning. “Maybe we can stop and get ice cream after.” Bailey’s ears perked up. “Yeah?” “Of course. I’m certain I won’t spend all my money on clothes,” her Grandmother said, laughing warmly. Excitedly, Bailey kicked her legs, feeling the fabric of the car stick to her leg. As they drove, the air conditioner whirred and Bailey felt the traces of the air on the sweat rolling down her legs. “Are you excited about school starting again?” Bailey nodded, curling up her legs to her chest. “Yeah, I miss seeing my friends.” “You don’t get together with them over the summer?” “They live like forever away.” “Mom could always drive you.” “Nah, everyone’s on vacation a lot. Maybe some time they’ll take me with them.” The car turned a corner. “Oh where do they go on vacation?” “The beach.” “Oh. We’ll have to go next year, huh?” Bailey’s eyes grew wide and nodded excitedly. “Yeah! It’ll be a lot of fun.” “I’m pretty sure we can all get to the beach next year if we start saving.” The car grew silent as Bailey started to plan out how she’s save her $5 a month toward snacks and arcade games when they got there. The mall was pretty crowded when they arrived but Grandma led them past the crowds toward the clothing outlet store. It was mostly older people shopping, definitely not somewhere Bailey would find much that was “in style” for her. Still, she followed along, hoping she would finish soon and they’d get ice cream. “Oh how cute, look dear, it’s a cat!” Bailey peeked over, noting there were sequins surrounding the small applique calico cat. “Awww.” “You know most calico cats are female,” her grandma said, picking up the sweatshirt. “Really?” “Yep, so if you’ve ever seen one, it’s probably a lady.” “Good. Guys are dumb.” Grandma laughed warmly, making Bailey smile. “Oh I can’t wait to remind you of that on your wedding day...” “Ugh,” Bailey whined. “As if.” Laughing, Grandma wrapped her arms around her and Bailey squeezed tight, breathing in the smell of the floral perfume. “Bailey?” Bailey buried her head into the sweatshirt, feeling the tears roll down her face. All that she had held in since she got the news was now pouring out of her. Her body began to move, chest heaving and then as if the heavens opened, Bailey started sobbing. Once it started, she felt it rack her body. Without any power over it, she cried hard. Grandma was gone, really gone, and she wasn’t coming back. After a few moments, she felt her mother’s arms around her, holding her close. She buried her own head on the back of Bailey’s shirt. “I miss her too, Bailey. So much.” Bailey felt another pool of moisture begin to form and her powerful, strong mother began to join her. Bailey squeezed back. Hard. “She loved you so much.” At that moment, a gust of wind sent a leaf from the trees outside through the window, landing on the clothing that was piled up. “Thanks Grandma,” Bailey said, laughing through the tears.