text: *Disclaimer - this story contains sexual themes and graphic descriptions of violence. Churches are strange places. The Church of St. Augustine’s in the small village of Ramswick-on-Tye was one of the few churches that hung onto its Norman origins. It had beautiful ornate stained glass windows, hand carved pews and a golden lectern that would make the pope green with envy. One Saturday morning, after the completion of Mass, Father Luke was praying quietly at the altar when he heard the heavy wooden doors swing open. He ended his prayer quickly and stood. Stood in the entrance was a young man that Father Luke guessed was close to twenty one. “Good morning my son” Father Luke spoke warmly “How can I help you?” “I need to talk to you Father” the young man replied. He was on edge. “I mean...I need to confess”. “Then let us not waste any time” Father Luke indicated towards the confessional. It was an ornately carved confessional with the faces of cherubim in the doors. “Bless me father, I have sinned. It has been sixteen months since my last confession” the young man replied after entering the confessional. “Tell me all that currently separates you from God’s glory and love” Father Luke replied “Let’s start with your name first”. “My name is Jonah Wallis” he responded “I’ve not long turned 21 and I have done something terrible father”. “Calm yourself Jonah” the father comforted “Just start from the beginning. What sin are you confessing?” “Sins” Jonah clarified “The first is the sin of adultery and the other is the sin of murder”. There was a silence. Father Luke had heard many confessions in his years, but never one of murder. “Go on, my son” Father Luke finally spoke. “Well, it started when I met this woman. She was the wife of my brother’s teacher, Mr Elgin” Jonah began “I was stunned by her beauty and began to think about her often”. “There is no harm in thinking about people, or even being stunned by the beauty. Providing you didn’t...” “My thoughts affected everything I did father” Jonah interjected “I imagined how good she would look...” “I get the image” Father Luke interjected “So you had desires for Mrs Elgin?” “So I work at the local post office behind the counter, and one morning she walks in, looking like a Hollywood glamour girl. She puts her letters on the counter and asks for them to be posted”. Father Luke tries to picture Mrs Elgin. The mental image he has corresponds with the one that so infatuated Jonah. “Go on my son”. “So, I start talking to her, about anything. She finds my jokes funny and even invites me to join her on my lunch break”. “She tempted you?” Father Luke was surprised. “She took her lunch at the same time I do. She works for old Mr McGuinness at the bank” Jonah replied “So, we go down to the river and eat our lunch. As we talk, she kisses me. I then kiss her back”. “Oh my dear boy!” Father Luke exclaimed “How far did you go?” “To the point where I ended up meeting her after work and using my spare change to book us a room in a hotel to meet”. Father Luke was blushing. All his years in the clergy had made him come into contact with all the forms of the physical sin, but Jonah’s were proving a struggle. “Go on my son” he replied. “One day Renee, I mean, Mrs Elgin arrives late” Jonah started to sound worried “She said that Mr Elgin was suspecting that there was something going on. He’d found the broach I’d bought for her”. “Oh dear” Father Luke remarked. “She said that we needed to be careful. Mr Elgin had a violent temper and would likely attack me on sight if he knew I was sleeping with her” Jonah sighed “So after we had made love, Mrs Elgin suggested that we meet every two weeks until her husband’s suspicions had died down. I told her that I couldn’t last without her”. Father Luke soon became aware of footsteps in the main church. The clacking of high heels suggested it was a woman. “I may have another confession to take shortly my son” Father Luke spoke softly “But I’ll wait until you’ve finished”. “So she said that I should come to their house that evening when her husband went out to play cards with his friends. I snuck into the house and we made love in every room. It was magical. But...” “He returned early?” Father Luke guessed. “Yes. I was terrified” Jonah stated, conscious of his breathless state “So I hid in the wardrobe. She dressed quickly and sprayed her perfume to disguise my cologne. He entered the house and I heard a scuffle. I snuck out and watched him raise his hands to her. I acted out of impulse. There were a pair of scissors on the dressing table. I rushed up behind him and without thinking, plunged them into his back. He toppled over the banister and landed in the hallway. I wish to God there was a way I could wind the clock back". He began to weep. "I wish that I'd never done this!" Father Luke was speechless. Here was a young man he’d known as the village’s faithful post office worker, reduced to a sex-driven murderer. “Your sins are grave my son. But say eight hail Mary’s, six our Father’s and go around the rosary for every time you indulged in the sin of the flesh. Then get from my sight”. “Thank you father” Jonah whimpered. He left the box and walked out into the main church. Father Luke was saying a quiet prayer to himself when he heard Jonah having a conversation with a woman. He left the confessional only to find Jonah stood with a woman wearing a black veiled hat and a shapely black dress. “Mrs Elgin?” Father Luke asked. Jonah turned to face Father Luke, and sure enough Mrs Elgin was stood there. The Black Widow herself. Father Luke offered a comforting smile. “My deepest condolences”. “Thank you father” she replied “I was just being comforted by Mr Wallis here”. “How can I help you?” Father Luke asked. “I need to make a confession” she replied, as she walked past Jonah Wallis, she gave his bottom a pinch. “It’s a very terrible sin I’m going to commit”. “Going to commit?” Father Luke hadn’t banked on what was going to happen next. Mrs Elgin had a small black handbag on her left arm. She opened it and retrieved a small calibre pistol. She pointed it at Father Luke and without a second’s hesitation, pulled the trigger. As Father Luke lay on the floor, bleeding out. Mrs Elgin walked over to Jonah Wallis and they kissed. “You were wonderful darling” she purred at him “We’ll definitely get away with it now”. “What do we do with the body?” Jonah asked. “I’ve already contacted my cousin in London to raid the church to make it look like a robbery gone wrong”. “I love how you think of everything” Jonah kissed her again. As they walked out into the sunshine, Jonah realised that he was at peace. Something about confession was...refreshing.