text: It is calm. Nothing else. She’s alone. Castaway on a remote island in the middle of the ocean in the middle of the world in the middle of the universe. Everything is so far away. Everything is being cradled on the waves all around her. She can’t look away. But she is not scared, no. Because all the waves break and collapse before they can touch her shores. She is at peace, watching from a safe distance. But sometimes. Sometimes she hears distant echoes, echoes on the wind and on the waves that pierce through her skull directly into her thoughts. Terrible, terrible sounds. Screeching of the past. *“It’s a completely safe and routine procedure, completely and wholly, yes. Very simple too and very effective. Yes, yes.”* *“It can’t be like this my dear. Look at yourself... Trust me, this will make you feel better.”* Oh, such horrible noises. They take her back. Back to reality. She’s looking around. White walls. White sheets. White people. It’s all white. She starts to feel uneasy. She feels lost, crushed by the overwhelming lack of colour. She doesn’t know what to do. Her muscles cramp. She is terrified. The warmth begins to trickle down her inner thighs. That’s when the white hands touch her and lay her down on the bed. *“Daddy, is this really necessary? I feel fine, I swear.”* *“No, my dear. You don’t understand. You don’t understand anything. This is not normal... You are not normal. There is no other way.”* *“Trust me, no need to worry. Completely routine procedure. And it works like a charm. Yes, yes completely routine. And wholly safe, did I mention that?”* The hands are all around her. They are pulling her upwards. She sits up on the bed. They force something into her mouth. She doesn’t want it, doesn’t want it at all, but before she can react they flush it down her throat. A thick coat of dust swallows everything in the room. Everything loses its edge. It itches. *“Daddy I’m scared.”* *“Don’t worry, my dear, don’t worry. Tomorrow it will all be over. You will feel much better, trust me. Much better.”* *“Yes, yes. Routine, completely routine. And completely safe too. We will insert the scalpel into her brain just like this and we will keep on cutting until there’s barely anything left. It’s routine. Like we always do. Completely safe and very effective. Can’t have a bad personality if you don’t have any at all.”* *“See, darling? There’s no reason to worry.”* She’s screaming. Screaming and crying. Everything is so blurry and it feels so numb. She’s choking. She can’t breathe. So she cries and screams and kicks the air but there’s just way too many hands that push her down. She tries her best but in the end she stops resisting and everything fades to black. She wakes up after a long time on her island. She is happy again, because the world is simple. Everything is far away. She is watching from a safe distance. For a while at least. As long as it’s quiet. \ H.