text: Christopher and Chris Paney were born in Slumber Valley on November 10th, 1966. But something went awry that day; Chris was coming into this world sideways, and unknown to anyone yet, Christopher was conjoined to Chris. Mr. Paney lost his dear wife that day, and was convinced that it was the fault of his deformed children. He was so resentful of them that he left their lives without so much as holding them once. This led the boys to be adopted by a woman who owned a Tailor shop by the harbour. In exchange for their labour, they were allowed to go to school. But because of their condition, working was a monumentally difficult task. And school wasn’t that great for them either, because kids would chuck rocks at them. They asked their caretaker for help, but she always gave the same advice: “They’re bitter,” She’d sputter, “because they’re lonely, lonely kids.” Christopher then began to feel bad for the other kids. Chris was only bitter, though. Over time, this contrast of ideas and personalities led to Chris becoming a depressed cynic, and Christopher an overachieving optimist. In their teenage years, they dropped out of school to work full time in the back room of the shop, hidden away from the world. They were lonely, even with each other’s company. Occasionally customers would catch glimpses of them, and either reacted with horror, or shock that they were actually real. Christopher had dreams, But Chris had resigned himself to slaving away, sewing forever. But then one day, a peculiar customer came in. He was dressed in a suit and tie, and only wanted to be let into the back room. He had traveled far and wide to meet the twins. And to his delight, there they were. “I’ve only seen a handful of people like you two,” he gushed, “Perfect.” He wanted to study them, and in exchange for their cooperation, the man promised to have them separated, after all this time. He promised what was previously thought to be impossible. Needless to say, they cooperated. And on their 20th birthday, they were taken to a hospital on the other side of the country to be separated. And after the long healing process, they were finally apart. But Chris, without Christopher to lighten the mood became consumed by suicidal thoughts. And out in the real world, Christopher found himself in a cycle of disappointment without Chris to level his expectations. So now, after the long awaited separation, the two found themselves under the docks in moonlight, with a black needle and thread. Poke, pinch, gush, drip. Slide, pierce, bruise, clip. The two took shaky steps as one, while their bodies pulsated with deep, burning pain. It was dawn now, and they had finally overcome their loneliness. Shuffling down the streets, needles in hand, they wanted nothing more than to share this feeling; their caretaker’s words were looping in their head: “They’re bitter,” She’d sputter, “because they’re lonely, lonely kids.