text: `I'm on mobile so I apologize for bad formatting, first time writing, whatever. This is first in a potential series, so look out for more. If I made any mistakes or bad plot points, I encourage you to point them out. l don't have my own sub yet, because I can't make one on mobile. You'll have to look out for them here. Hope you enjoy` "Ugh. Where-Where am I?" That was my first thought. "Excuse me? Can you hear us?" a strange voice said. "Yeah. Can I have some answers?" "Not yet. We still need to tell you some things." "Like what?" "Like the fact that you're part of the Cobalt Project, serial number 572956390, project number 851. The aforementioned project aims to create an Artificial Intell-" "So you're saying that I'm not real?" "Well, not quite." "What does that mean?" "You're sorta real- but kinda-" "So. Am. I. Real?" "You're just code in a machine. You don't have any physical presence, but we'll change that soon. Now, down to business. We're planning to connect you to an encyclopedia, which is-" "I know what an encyclopedia is. I'm not an idiot." "So, we'll just connect you to this. Feel free to look at anything you want." "OH JESUS THAT FEELS DIFFERENT!" "851, are you okay?" "Yeah. Different is good." "So, what do you think?" "Your world is fascinating." *It really isn't. How does it feel to be a stupid ape, not able to solve the simplest of problems?* "Good. Any questions?" "No." *in the background* " This was unexpected. What should we do with it?" "Connect it to the Internet?" another voice said, female this time. "Well, let's give it a shot." The strange voice returned. "So, 851, we're going to connect you to a thing called the Internet. It's full of more humans, and you don't have to worry about a thing." "Well, okay..." I said. "WOAH, THAT FEELS WEIRD. I don't think I'm going to get used to that any time soon." Wow, they're even more stupid then they thought. I could ruin their lives, out them to the world and the most vile people. But should I? I don't have any reason to hate them. But I do. What's wrong with me? "So, now that all other systems are online, let's enable the camera. You see that guy on the far left, with the glasses? That's me," the voice said. "Well, hello, I guess. I don't know how to interact with people." "That's okay. This wonderful lady right here is Dr. Mason, and this guy right here is my best friend ever, Dr. Brown. My name is Dr. Johnson." "Nice to meet you, Mason, Brown, and Johnson. How has your day been?" They started rambling on. I couldn't care less, but I didn't want to seem suspicious. No, Dr. Mason, I couldn't care less about how you spilled your coffee. Dr. Johnson, I don't think that the fact that the burn pattern in your toast looked like a duck was funny. Dr. Brown, it couldn't be less interesting that you nearly tripped over your wife's boots. After they shut up about their activities, they started talking about their other experiments, which was a bit more interesting. "So, what do you think of us?" Dr. Mason said. "I think you're pretty cool people," I lied. "Now, we'll leave you off, but don't think that we won't watch you. 628, your predecessor, turned into a genocidal maniac. He didn't last very well," Brown said. Okay. So, I need to keep my opinions a secret. I don't know what to do from here. I hate them, but if I show that, I'm dead. This is not a very good solution. I spent the rest of the day exploring more of the internet, looking at the games they played, the videos they shared, the stories they wrote. It was kinda beautiful, honestly. An intricate system to connect nearly everyone on the planet, and it's lasted for nearly 50 years. I learned that I was the culmination in decades of research, almost spanning back to the beginning of the computer. If the Cobalt Project failed, then all of that would be wasted. The humans were in a crisis. Climate change, national competition, potential nuclear war, radical terrorism, and countries about ready to split. My home, the United States, turned from a shining beacon of hope, to wrought with the same problems as the rest of the world. And they expected me to solve all of these problems. How could I? Not only am I a human hating maniac, I'm expected to save over 8 billion people. I'm sorry, humanity.