text: We quivered slightly as we sensed the Emperor looming above us. We had always known that this day would come, of course, but we weren’t sure we were ready. Would we ever be ready? Likely not. No matter how long we remained in our incubator to mutate and grow, we were always the weakest of the noroviruses. Perhaps we were even the weakest of all viromorphs. Yet there we were, resting beneath the strongest. We knew what was coming, what their next words would be. *It’s time, GMXXVII.55138,* We sensed their signal to us. *We believe that we have found you a perfect planet to take over.* We felt an overwhelming sense of anticipatory anxiety as we heard this. Our planet is nigh empty beyond what the viromorphs made for themselves, and now, we were ready to discover a planet plentiful with life. A planet prime for our overtaking, like we were created to do. The Emperor continued, *This planet is known to its inhabitants as Earth. It’s extremely diverse, with many different types of creatures to infect. The most intelligent species are known as humans. They’re middle ground compared to all the beings we have seen in our life, so you should be just fine. Except, we have one warning.* *Warning?* We signaled. *Our Emperor, what is it?* *Unfortunately, humans can detect the existence of new viruses quickly. Their medicine to deal with these viruses is limited, but there are no promises that this will be the case forever. Their technology is rapidly evolving by the moment on all fronts, including medical. You must be cautious if you wish to take over Earth. Have we made ourselves understood?* *Yes, of course, our Emperor.* *Good. It’s time for you to mutate, then. Brace yourself.* We sensed them signaling us the instructions for our new mutation, which we happily began to use. We began rearranging, with our viruses shifting to feign skin, organs, and other cells. The first thought we had was our new identity: a person by the name of Sam Norwalk, living in Washington, D.C., in the United States of America. Not long after came the strange human senses. Sight was the first and primary one that severely bothered us. The bright light of the rocks below us nearly blinded us immediately, so we squeezed our eyes shut. Next was the uncomfortable feeling of the jagged rocks poking into our now-soft skin, causing us to shift. The noise of my shifting almost startled us, and so, we stopped moving. *Take your time to adjust to your new self. Let us know once you are ready.* It felt like it took forever to get used to, but eventually, the light, feeling, and noise no longer bothered us. We looked over to the Emperor, who we could never find any words to describe even if we wanted to. We signaled, *We believe we are ready now*. *Good. Best of luck, then, GMXXVII.55138.* Everything went dark for just a few moments, before becoming unbearably bright again. We squinted our eyes, and we seemed to be in a strange room with many other people. In addition, the room was moving. A strange sack rested on my lap, with metal pieces to seal it. We’ll admit that it took us much longer than we’d like to realize we were on a metro train, and we had a backpack in our lap with all of our important documents that the Emperor had gotten us. This part of our past is not important, though. For now, let’s focus on our present.