text: More Than Yourself My sword reflected the bright morning sun. I tried to focus on the maneuvers I was supposed to do, but my mind kept wandering to the contest the next morning. I would be facing the best swordsmen on this side of the mountains. I breathed deeply. That was not the problem, the problem lay in the fact that I was a girl, well not a girl, a woman. My skill with the sword was formidable, but I had been prohibited from competing in the Trials. The Trials were held every year, they boasted many different competitions, but the one people came to see the most was the sword fighting. Many great swordsmen would come from all over the world to see the outcome of the Trials. The winners got the best treatment and would be able to stay in the castle and keep company with the King. The Trials had very few rules. Number one: you had to fight fair, if you cheated in any way you would automatically fail. Number two: Whether you failed or won, you would fail or win humbly and respectfully. And last but not least, Number three: you had to be male. This was the one rule that I wanted to change. And so, I had taken the matter into my own hands. Yesterday had been the second day of the Trials and a man named Erick, who had won the last two years, was winning the sword Trials. And he made a point of telling all the women in the stands, that he was the best catch any girl could want. Well, one thing led to another, and before I could think twice, I jumped the stand and slapped his face with my glove. The universal challenging insult. And before I could change my mind I spoke the official words, “I challenge you, Erick, to a contest by the sword in two days. If I win, then I and any other girl will be able to compete in the trials. If I lose, then I will not trouble you again.” After looking me up and down, he stared me in the face and laughed! I was furious! But it was settled, the only thing that had me worried was the fact that the last contest Erick had been in, he had killed his opponent. And I knew that I had publicly flouted his so-called “authority,” and this made him mad, which made him dangerous. I had been lost in my thoughts, but my sword had not stopped swinging. When I finally pulled my focus back to the present, I realized that someone was watching me. I stopped suddenly, staring at the dark-skinned man. He watched my every move, and I could see his right hand making small movements as if copying my sword strokes. “Well hello there!” the man started as if he knew he was not supposed to be there. “Sorry miss, I did not mean to interrupt you. I was just trying to learn your sword fighting style, it is something I have never seen before.” I looked at the man, I recognized the stance of a fighting man. “Do you fight?” He in his turn looked me up and down. “Some, but there is nowhere for me to compete.” He made a motion towards his dark skin. I was not known to be the brightest in recognizing cultural things, this was one of my weak points, but the last and unspoken rule of The Trials was that all contestants had to be white. “I understand, I want to compete in the Trials but am not allowed either. In fact, I am preparing for my fight with the two-year running grand champion Erick Futermer, I challenged him yesterday, and am going to fight him tomorrow.” He looked at me “Yes, I know, everyone knows. And you have helped spark an interest for others to fight for justice. I hope you know that it is more than just you that you are fighting for. For if you win the path will start to open for others, maybe even me. But if you lose you will not only die, but the spark will die with you.” His dark serious eyes made his words even more real, but I could not tell, was he nervous for me, or for the possible impact that my failure could bring? “I know what rests on my shoulders, but there was no one else who was going to take action, and I was not going to stand and let the opportunity slip by! After all, I did not see you there!” My words were slightly salty, but I was close to being offended by his brisk assessment of my odds. My confidence was fake, but I could not let him see how nervous I was. He just raised his eyebrows and leaned against a pole, he said nothing, and the silence created a black hole that needed to be filled. My fake confidence and salty attitude were slowly sucked away. I did not speak, but I lowered my sword and looked to the ground. My shoulders slumped, I was exhausted, I had not slept well, and was at a loss of how I would be able to beat Erick. The man stood up and walked towards me. “You do not have a chance if you fight the way I saw. You lack focus, and your stance could use improvement.” At first, I was angered at his words, what did he know? But then I felt a profound sense of hopelessness, he was right! I had never fought an opponent who was trying to kill me. Any weakness that I had would be exploited. I had fought one on one plenty of times, and I did have some skill, but compared to a man who had been fighting since he was fourteen, my skill was nothing. I also had not had access to the training that Erick had had. I was starting to feel less like a woman and more like a girl. But before I could let my feelings spill out, the man continued. “But you do have speed, in your sword and your feet, and your lack of a style will help you immensely if you know the style with which your opponent fights. That way you can make up for your lack of strength with knowledge.” His words stopped me in my tracks, the way he said them made it sound as though he was going to help me. I tested the waters. “And do you know how to help my stance, and how to gain this knowledge? And if you do, where did you learn it?” He looked at me and smiled, “They do not let me fight in the Trials, but they will let us join the armed forces. My father was one of the best swordsmen in the armed forces and he taught me. And because of that, I do know some things that will help you.” As he spoke, he pulled two swords from his back, they were shorter than a normal sword and curved. But I could see the light reflecting off the sharp blade. He got into a fighting stance and motioned for me to do the same. The training had begun. The next morning, I woke up in a cold sweat, I had had a dream of the fight, and I had lost. The man came as promised and he taught me more about stance and technique than the actual fighting. Before I knew it, it was time. “Well, it is time for you to go, the contest will begin soon. I wish I could do more, but there is just no more time.” The man spoke and I felt that he meant what he said. I nodded, “Thank you for what you have taught me. I wonder, will you be there? If I do win, Erick’s friends may not be too happy.” He smiled. “I wouldn’t miss it; I know a few others who will be there. I think you will be fighting in front of a crowd!” “Great!” I said, he laughed, “You best go, I will be there soon.” I made my way to the grounds, Erick was already there. I put on a smile. Best not make him mad, otherwise this contest could go sour. “Good morning Erick.” I tried to be cheerful, but when I saw his face, I could see that the contest had already been soured. “I see you have finally decided to show your face! I am mildly surprised you showed up, but then I guess I knew you would not be smart enough to stay away!” I tried to keep my mouth shut and think about what I was going to say. “Well, I guess I am not smart enough to stay away, but too smart to leave.” My words did not have the intended result, instead of laughing it off, he drew his sword, “Well then, let us start this thing!” His sword moved with the speed of a snake. I hurried to pull my sword free and blocked his rushed stroke. He circled to his right and I moved to my left, he struck out again, reminding me of a snake’s tongue. “Focus!” I told myself, I had to implement what the man had taught me. I steadied my feet and made an attack of my own, my heart jumped to my throat when Erick dodged and struck out at me. I held my breath when his sword came within an inch of my head. The fight went on, he would strike, and I would parry, then I would strike, and he would parry. But the speed at which this happened got faster and faster until I knew we were fighting way out of my league! Our swords still flew faster, but I was no longer in control of the fight. My response was slow, and my attacks became fewer and farther between. He was attacking more and defending less. I was losing! I got one cut across his leather breastplate, but then disaster struck. When I withdrew from a lunge he ducked and stepped on my foot causing me to stumble, I tripped and fell to the ground! He stood over me and stabbed me in my right shoulder. The pain nearly knocked me out, but I managed to hang on. This wound had been on purpose, I would not be able to fight for a long time. Then he held his sword over his head, the typical stance of someone who was about to permanently end his opponents' fight. I realized that my arm was the least of my problems. The sword started to fall, and I closed my eyes. But then there was a loud ‘ring’ I opened my eyes to see the man who had helped me standing over me, protecting me from the death stroke. “Enough! You may disagree with her, but that does not mean that you must kill her! Relent, and I will not kill you!” I watched Erick’s face in surprise, for he was pale, and looked as though he might faint. He dropped to one knee, “Of course my Lord John.” I was suddenly confused, the man who had saved me put down his hand and helped me up. I looked into his face, and that is when it struck me, the king had adopted a son, the son’s father had been in the king's guard and had saved his life, but had died in the process, the boy had been about sixteen years of age and the king took him as his own son, raising him as a prince. My eyes widened as I realized who this man was. “I am sorry my Lord, I did not recognize you.” John, as I knew him now, laughed. “I must admit, I was surprised you did not recognize me, but that is not the purpose of my visit. My father, the king, has heard of the unfairness that the Trials enforce, so I was sent to see if anyone cared. But my father also told me not to act unless there was already someone trying to make a difference. Which of course there was.” He looked at me “But that was not enough, you still had to put actions behind your words, and even though you were scared you still came and fought the best that you could. And even though you were not able to win, there were more people than yourself that were behind you.” He looked at me as if I should respond. “I am sorry, I do not understand.” John smiled and took out a piece of parchment. “It is here declared that the Trials shall no longer be for men of one color, but now the Trials shall be open to both men and women of all races.” John put the parchment away, “You may not have won the battle, but then again there was a bigger war going on. And even though we have won this small victory there are still many more battles that need to be won before the war is over. Justice will prevail! We just have to remember, that we are more than ourselves.”