text: From a distance, I watched them making jokes, laughing at each other. I felt nothing but an ever-increasing emptiness. In the past, I tried to save them, each one. I really did my best, but it was never enough. In the end they all died, it was just a matter of time. All my efforts, all my struggles were not enough to keep them alive, to keep them from dying. This timeline will not be different, the outsider will come, there will be no war. There just needs to be no war. It will be a massacre. I'm just a single person who is completely powerless against them, and what's worse, the people from this world - who I'm desperately trying to protect - don't even take my concerns seriously. They laugh like it's a joke or act like I'm crazy. There really are days when I doubt my own sanity, but it would be strange if that weren't the case, wouldn't it? How many times have I died? How many times have I tried to convince them to get ready? How many times have I just begged for it all to end? I stopped counting. Countless times I tried to save them, put myself in danger, used my own body as a shield to protect them. The end was always the same. I feel like I hit a wall. Whatever I did, it was in vain. I couldn't save even one person, let alone the whole world. The chance is gone for me. I just wanted to die, and I did. And woke up again. Even if I wanted to die, I couldn't. It felt like a curse. It didn't matter what I wanted, I had no choice but to live, and I hated every second of it. Over the course of the different timelines, I found that I had changed. I used to be desperate, there were times when I literally begged them to hear me out. Sometimes they felt sorry for me, pretended to believe me, but when the disaster came, they were shocked. What I said was true. They didn't believe me for a second, in the end they wasted all my time. They gave me hope even though there was none. That's why I don't try to talk to them. It's all pointless anyway. And that's why I'm choosing a different path, one I've never considered before. I will rise above each and every one of them, like a star I will descend into heaven, but instead of an angel I will take the form of a demon. Straight out of hell. I will not beg them to trust me, to believe my words - it is too late for that. I will show them how powerless they really are, I will show them fear and force them to prepare - even if it means that I will be their enemy. I will kill innocent people. It's too late to regret it now, to back down just because I'm afraid of the blood that will be on my hands very soon. Perhaps it is my fate to be hated by the very people I have always tried to protect - what a truly cruel fate. But I don't have the power to go against fate itself, even if I wanted to. I am just a human being forced to relive the end of our world again and again - unable to change it, unable to prevent it. I'm tired, exhausted by it all, and frankly I don't have the will to go on anymore. I have died countless times, each time in such a cruel way that I want to die. To put an end to it all. A person should not experience death more than once. There are reasons why they die, and they never come back - at least that's what I believe. Death is not something that can be glossed over to make it more attractive - it destroys the lives of countless people, but it is necessary. There is no one who knows better, it is better to die than to go on living. Repeat the same life over and over again. Trust me, because once a certain point is passed, a person begins to change. They become twisted, question their own sanity, and feel themselves slowly losing control - unable to die, they are forced to stay, forced to endure. I'm not saying they are weak because they are collapsing under the pressure - it's just a matter of time. The burden will not disappear even for a second, will remind them every time to give everything, not to give up - because if they do, they don't know if they can get up again. They won't. Please believe me, you keep forgetting that they are human too. Mortals. So are their bodies and minds - they can't last forever. They will fall. They will break. It's just a matter of time. That's not an insult, I'm not trying to downplay their efforts - it's the harsh reality. Even the hardest metal can be bent if you put enough pressure on it, and it will break if it refuses to do so. That is the law. The unwritten law of this world. You can shake your head all you want, it doesn't change anything. My words have changed nothing, neither my honesty nor my warnings - about what will happen. They denied the truth until the very last second, shaking their heads in complete disbelief when their time was up. It was the same as always. They died, one by one. As always, there were some who blamed me for not warning them sooner, they yelled at me to save them, to do something - I couldn't help but laugh. I should save them? What do they think I've been doing all this time? Why do they think I was begging them, desperately hoping they would understand - do they think I'm doing it because it's fun? Being laughed at? Looked down upon? Swallowing your pride, asking for help, for their trust? Who do they think I am? I had an urgent need to yell at them, to grab them, to shake them - to force them to understand. But I was interrupted. They were killed literally seconds before I could do anything. They were cut in half. I felt like the world was laughing at me, mocking my tireless efforts. I heard the sound of something crumbling, but before I could look for the source, I was killed. Like an innocent bystander, I watched my torso rise until it was swallowed by it. In one piece. I couldn't run away, couldn't even turn my head away - because that's all I have left. Wasn't I supposed to be dead by now? As if my wish had come true, I too was eaten. Devoured by the nameless enemy. I called them the Outsiders, which in my humble opinion was a pretty good title for these invaders. But here I am again, at the very beginning of my "journey." Here I am in this depraved place. Unpleasant memories flashed through my mind, reminding me of the person I once was. Of the person I once used to be. Why does nothing change? Why is all my struggle in vain? Why don't they understand that I am as powerless as they are? As helpless as they are? Or maybe I'm even more desperate than they are, they at least have someone to back them up, someone to believe them, maybe even money or people on their side - I'm alone. There is not a single person who will miss me, who will even notice that I am gone. That is the hard truth. I am all alone - yet I am forced to stay in this cursed world. Since I cannot die, they force me to relive it's very last moments. They demand that I save the world, empty-handed. So here I am, shaking my head in disbelief. I will save them; I will save every one of these fools - by killing them. I will force them - as this world forced me - to be strong, to persevere in the face of crisis. There will be no doubt, they will not have the time. They will rise from the ashes and try to beat me, their enemy - maybe they will win, but I personally don't care - what matters is what happens afterwards. Will they finally be able to defend themselves? To prevent their downfall - but I will never know. My life has lost any meaning ages ago, here I am just barely hanging on a single thread. Dangeling above an endless darkness, but I have yet to give up this last hope. Desperately I am clinging onto it, refusing to let go - hoping 'wanting' something is enough to archieve it. I should have known better, should have faced reality sooner. Maybe it wouldn't be so harsh if I did it, braised myself, instead of running away. It's too late. Even if I have the 'power' to change the past, have the 'power' to overcome death itself - it doesn't save me from myself. I can feel it, how I am slowly losing the grip, slowly losing my sanity...