text: The curtains stubbornly refused to hang straight. For the thousandth time I moved the stool over to adjust the screw at the other end of the curtain rod. Taking a step back I could see that my work had borne no fruit. The lines formed by the edge of the curtain and the window frame where infuriatingly still not parallel. It hurt, deep inside me, as if someone had stuck a knife in me and slowly twisted it around " at an uneven pace. Maybe the window was askew, or maybe, the universe had just decided to create a small pocket of concentrated gravity, making the curtains fall in different directions. I was abruptly interrupted by the candle on the kitchen table as it suddenly lit itself. Work. I strolled over to one of the chairs at the table and sat down. A woman stood in front of me with the customary confused look on her face. “You have just passed on from the world of the living. My name is Mort and I will help you to go through some paperwork” I recited. “I’m, dead?” she asked, twitching her hand. “Yes. Would you be so kind as to read this” I responded, handing her a yellowing scroll. It was completely unnecessary to use those frail old parchment scrolls. I had tried to advocate for some nice paper or even electronic tablets but the boss had said it wasn’t ‘stylish’ enough. I glared over at the curtains as I waited for her to finish reading. “What are you looking at?” she asked, trying to follow my gaze. Of course she could not see the curtains, lucky her, so I just replied that it was nothing. “What will happen now” she asked, fixing her gaze on me. “What do you think will happen?” I replied, in my customer-friendly voice. She hesitated before answering. “I was raised catholic, so I kind of expected to go to heaven.” She sounded nervous, I didn’t blame her. “That is exactly where you’re going. If you would just be so kind as to sign here I will send you on your way.” It was a lie. Theoretically, it could be true, but I doubt it. In my early days I had always tried to explain to my clients that I had no idea what would happen to them or where they were going, but over the years I have come to realize that it is easier just to let them believe what they believe. Happy clients are cooperative clients. She reached over, accepted the quill I held forth and scribbled something at the bottom of the scroll. ‘Terrible handwriting’ I silently judged her. I gently blew on the candle flame which turned blue for effect before going out. The woman disappeared and I turned back to my curtains. I was in the midst of debating with myself whether I should call a carpenter to straighten the window when the doorbell rang. It was a pleasant sound, perfectly tuned. When I swung the door open it revealed a small man wearing a big smile. He looked rather alive " a non-client. “Can I help you?” I asked, trying to keep my annoyance out of my voice. “Hi, I’m Bob. I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.” Bob, a palindrome, with a nice round ‘o’ in the middle. Too bad it is asymmetrical spelled out. Why do people insist on capitalizing the first letter in a name anyway? Can’t they at least capitalize the last letter too? ‘BoB’, definitely better, still not perfect. How about ‘bod’ or maybe ‘dob’. I forced myself to break my train of thought in order to comply with the expected social order. “Hi Bob, I’m Mort.” “I brought some cookies” he said in response, still smiling. I looked at the tray in his hands and sighed mentally. “Would you like to come in?” I asked and did my best to make my faked smile look genuine. I stepped aside from the doorway and Bob entered. He reached down, undid his shoelaces and took his shoes off. Thank God for that. Even better, he put them neatly side by side on the shoe rack. We went into the kitchen and Bob placed the tray with cookies on the kitchen table. “So, what do you work with?” Bob asked. “Human resources” I replied. Technically, it wasn’t a lie, maybe a slight alteration of the truth but I found it justifiable. People generally don’t respond very well when you tell them you do administrative work for Death himself. Bob walked over to the curtains and reached out a hand. Before I could stop him he had grabbed the curtain rod and tilted it slightly. I froze, crushed by the atrocity. I stared at the curtains and to my surprise they were hanging perfectly straight. The parallel lines made a warmth emerge inside me. What a blessing from the skies. Maybe he was an angel? On that note, I had met an angel once, or at least she had been dressed as one, but now that I come to think about it, it had been around the time of Halloween. “Sorry” Bob said. “They were a bit askew.” “Yes they were” I responded. My fake smile had transformed into a genuine one. I offered him to sit and went to get a nice bottle of wine. We sat at the kitchen table chatting for a while. Bob was a humble guy with a colossal -but reasonable- love for felines. He was happily telling a story about one of his many cats when suddenly he went quiet. His pupils dilated and he had a surprised look on his face. He fell forward hitting his head on the table. “Heart attack” I murmured to no one in particular. I knew I couldn’t do anything to help - company policy. Inconveniently the candle lit itself once more. It took me a moment to realize why Bob was still sitting there. A few seconds later Bob sat up straight, his gaze flickering around. He had the customary confused expression on his face. “It’s awfully dark here, isn’t it?” he said, looking at me for confirmation. “Yes, clients tend to tell me that” I responded. Just like so many times before I wondered what it was like to sit on the other side of the table. I knew they couldn’t see the mortal world, with the exception of me and what I handed them of course. “What happened” Bob asked. “You died. Heart attack I believe.” “Really?” he said. He gave the impression of being more confused than scared. “I work for Death. My job is to guide you through the paperwork.” I said, trying to read his face as I spoke. “You work for him? One would kind of expect that he would do it himself, him being Death and all.” “There is no way he would be able keep up by himself, people die all the time.” I usually don’t talk about the organization with clients but I liked Bob, he was worth an exception. “So what do Death do then?” I found it fascinating how he was able to concentrate on such questions considering his situation. I respected his lack of egocentrism. “Mostly he manages things on a higher level, management and all that.” I answered. It was an exceptionally good question though. What did he do? Sure, he showed up sometimes when a celebrity died. Honestly, he could be a bit of a fangirl at times. Sure, a very bony fangirl with a laugh that reminded you of coffin lids, but a fangirl nonetheless. Other than that you rarely see much of him except when he has some new stupid idea about talking skulls or decorative scythes. “I never really thought of the logistics before. What happens during wars, plagues and such? Must be pretty chaotic.” “You should see the ant department” I replied. Just thinking of their backlog made a shiver go down my spine. “Would you please read this document and sign at the bottom” I continued, handing him a scroll. When he was done reading he put an elegant signature at the bottom and handed the scroll back to me. “So what will happen now?” he asked. “I haven’t got the faintest.” I said, smiling. “Will you take care of my cats for me?” He asked, worry in his eyes. “I’d love to.” It wasn’t a lie. Cats are very calm, and let’s not forget clean, creatures. Also, they behave very nicely around the boss, not like dogs who always start to jump and bark around him, sometimes even trying to get a piece of his arm or leg. “I guess I should be going then.” Bob said. His smile where happy and sad at the same time. “Cookie?” I offered him the tray. He reached out a hand, grabbed one and took a bite. He smiled at me as I blew out the candle. Bob disappeared, leaving only a crumb behind him. This is one of the first short stories I’ve ever written outside of school. Feedback and criticism are welcome. English is not my first language so I would be extra grateful for feedback on grammar and language. Also, I'm not very happy with the title so suggestions are welcome.