text: The accident was sure to make the news considering all of the after events. There were squealing tires and a very loud crash that made everyone jump. There were three vehicles involved and it tied up traffic on the busiest corner in town. It created a lot of chaos and people ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. The police were dispatched right away and showed up trying to untangle the mess. One of the drivers was Jane Tyne, the manager of the town’s water system. The other driver was Michelle Henderson, the principal of the high school. The third driver involved was Geraldine Moffat, the owner of the town’s only hair salon. The three women were screaming at each other arguing over who had the right of way and who had caused the accident. Officer Talbot was trying to make sure there were no fist fights. “Ladies, can we please calm down? Now, I am going to get everyone’s statement, just give me a second. I want everyone to return to their vehicle and wait.” There was hesitation and then the three walked over to their respected dented vehicles and got inside. Neither one seemed too pleased to be ordered around. After all, they were all powerful women in positions of authority and were used to giving out the orders not taking them. They immediately all started to text on their phones. The officer watched them and then started to try and put the puzzle together. It wasn’t going to be very easy. Officer Talbot looked around and wasn’t sure how exactly to proceed. The veteran policeman had witnessed hundreds of fender benders, but this one was a real pickle. He didn’t want to anger any of the women because he needed water, his wife went to the salon and he had two teenagers in high school. Suddenly, Candace, a young teenage girl, walked up. She sported a healthy amount of tattoos and piercings. Her hair was red, pink and green. She chewed bubblegum like a cow munching on cud. He didn’t recognize the girl right way. “Hey, Mr. Officer, I saw what happened. Do you want to hear about it?” Officer Talbot smiled sort of and grimaced at the same time. He had a two teenage daughters and thankfully they weren’t into self-expressionism as this young lady. Then he remembered her. “I would love to hear your statement, young lady. It has been a long time since we have talked.” “It is. How is Heather doing?” “She’s doing just fine. I remember when you two were best friends in like grade two.” “Yeah, it was a long time ago. We just kind of went separate ways. I really love a man in uniform.” “Thanks. Did you see what happened?” “I sure did. Okay, so you have the white pickup truck arriving at the three way stop first. The driver went to turn and the red BMW turned at the same time. They both stopped. Then a second later, the blue business van smashed into both of them. It was the one driving the van that is responsible for the accident.” “Thank you for your statement, Candace.” “Do I get a reward? I could really use the money. I have lots of bills to pay.” “I am not sure about that.” She looked rather sad. “I’ll see what I can do.” “Okay, thanks. Say hello to Heather for me.” “I will.” She left and he smiled. “I always wondered what happened to that girl.” What Candace had failed to say was that she had gone to Geraldine’s hair salon and they had really botched up her hair. She had refused to pay them and they had taken her to court. Officer Talbot looked around and an elderly man approached him. He looked a little scruffy, but was all smiles. “My name is George James and I saw what happened Officer.” “That’s great,” said Officer Talbot. George James had been in trouble with the law plenty of times. Officer Talbot had arrested the man on more than one occasion and knew him rather well. “The woman driving the Red BMW is totally responsible for the accident. She plowed into white pickup truck, backed up and smacked into the blue van.” Officer Talbot smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “This is what happened?” “Yup, sure is what happened.” “Okay, thanks for your input.” “You are welcome. Is there a reward?” “I am not sure about that George.” George walked away. What he didn’t say to the officer was he hated Michelle Henderson. He was supposed to go to the high school to teach the kids woodcarving, but it had been cancelled. But, no one had called him and he showed up anyway. The interchange between George and the principal got very heated and drew a crowd. Eventually, he left cursing under his breath. Officer Talbot was very confused at this point. He didn’t know whom to believe. Just then, Susan Course with her four dirty little children arrived. The kids looked like they needed a bath, as did their mother. “I saw what happened officer.” He smiled at her and nodded his head. “Let’s hear it.” “The blue van had the right of way and it was turning. The red BMW was stopped at the stop sign, when the white Public Works truck slammed into the stationary BMW and forced it into the blue van. It was all the fault of the white pickup truck.” “Thank you for the information,” said Officer Talbot. “Is there a reward?” “I am not sure about it.” Susan and her four children walked away. What she had not told the officer was that her water had been cut off when there was a mixup with the bill. She had called the Public Works Department and after not getting anywhere and being put on hold for like forever, she had demanded to talk to Jane personally, They had gotten into a huge argument. Later, Susan had protested with her four kids how cruel the water department was and truly embarrassed them. Other citizens joined in. It had gotten really heated when some of the Public Works Department personnel had walked out of the building and started to shout at the protesters. Officer Talbot had to break up the demonstration. Officer Talbot was now in a real predicament. He didn’t know what to do and so he motioned for all three women to get out of their respective vehicles. At this point, other officers had arrived on the scene to direct traffic. “Okay, ladies, I am not sure what to do here. I have three eyewitness accounts and they are all different. Each one blames one of you.” “I am not sure who you were talking to officer, but I was not in the wrong.” Jane was defiant. “Yes, you were, Jane. Isn’t it against the law to lie to an officer?” Michelle burst out laughing. “You are such a hypocrite.” Before, Officer Talbot could react, the three started swinging at each other. It was a real donnybrook with fists and feet flying everywhere. He attempted to break up the fight and for his efforts received a fat lip and a black eye. “Okay, that’s it. I’m taking all three of you.” He pulled out the handcuffs and linked two of them together. He grabbed the other and hauled all three into the cruiser in the back seat. The ride to the precinct was horrible. They screamed and used language that made the officer blush many, many different shades of red. They tried to escape and he really got mad. He arrived at the precinct and hauled them inside. Since the jail wasn’t very big, he put all three of them in the same cell. “If you kill each other it would solve a lot of problems,” he said as he went off to tend to his wounds. It was hours later when they were released. What the judge did was to make each one pay for their own damage. Plus, they had to apologize to Officer Talbot. The women went out to lunch to settle everything and had a great time. They got stinking drunk and staggered home. Then they decided to go to the police precinct and moon the officers. Just as they were dropping their pants/skirts, Officer Talbot pulled up. He shook his head and couldn’t believe it. “I guess we didn’t learn our lesson ladies.” A few minutes later, they found themselves in jail again.