text: Sam I was awoken from my daydream by the bell. School was way more boring than usual. The teacher seems like she doesn't want to be here, which I guess is understanble. Who'd rather be here than at home watching TV? As I pack my things, I hear my name being called. \- "Sam? Could you come here, please?" It was the teacher. I knew what she was going to say since my grades were so low. \- "I'd like you to join us at the extra class. Your grades are lower than they should be. Are you avilable?" \- "Sorry, I have to be home by that time."- I lied. \- "I understand, but please make an effort to be there." \- "Sure, I'll try. See you tomorrow, teach."- I said trying to get out of there as soon as possible. As I leave the school, I dread the walk home. I see other teenagers together planning their afternoon and kids playing at the park. Life can be fun sometimes, although it hasn't been fun for a few years. It's sunny with a nice breeze coming with it. Leaves colour the ground with various colours. I'm taking the longer way home in hopes I see Ethan and, for sure, I was right to do so. \- "Hey, Sam! How are you?"- said Ethan. His brown eye is wide open, and his slightly blon hair is covering the other one. He's the athletic type, so he catches up wit me quite quickly. \- "Hey, I'm fine. What about you? i heard you were sick."- I answered. \- "Oh, yeah, it was just the common cold, I'm fine. So, what's up? We haven't hung out in a while."- he asked. \- "Nothing much. Next thursday is my birthday, though. Do you want to hang out? We could go to the lake and, if you're okay with my dad being home, we could watch a movie at my place and eat lunch."- I proposed. \- "Sure, I'd love to. Why would I not be okay to go with your dad home?"- he asked, confused. \- "Oh, you've met him."- I said.- "You know how he is. He's cold and doesn't talk much. Just thought maybe it would make you uncomfortable." \- "Nah, it's not a problem."- he reassured me.- "Look, I've got to go, but I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" \- "Sure, see you!" I continue my way home wondering if inviting Ethan to go to my house was a good idea. My father's not really the friendly kind. Since I can remember, he's always been distant. He doesn't talk much, he's always in his bedroom and never really showed any kind of affection. To be honest, sometimes I think he hates me. From what some members of my family have told me, my mother died when I was young, but neither them nor my father have told me how. Maybe that's why he's so grumpy all the time. Before I realize, I'm home. As soon as I open the door, the smell of burnt coffee hits me like a truck. I guess my father's home. \- "Hey, dad."- I greeted him. \- "Hi." And that was the most I was going to get. I went into my room to do my homework. No to my surprise, it was a mess. There were some clothes on the floor and my bed wasn't made. My desk was full of papers and notebooks lying around. I must clean this up or I won't be able to get anything done. Fifteen minutes later and although it is better, it's still a mess, but a manageable one. It's now fifteen past ten and I'm starting to get hungry. I'm still in the middle of my homework but I won't be able to concentrate if I'm hungry. I step out of my room trying to hear if my father's in the kitchen. A wave of relief spreads through my body when I realize he's not. Three-day old cold pasta with tuna is my dinner. My father doesn't cook often, so this ought to do it. After finishing eating my dinner, I remember I need a permisson signed for school. We're going on a field trip to the capital next month. I don't want to go, but it's pratically mandatory and to make it worse, this means I have to talk to my father. I knock on his door trying to understand what he's watching. \- "Dad? Could you come here, pleas?"- I asked. The door opens and my father comes out. He has bags under his eyes and he hasn't shaved his beard for a few days now. The smell of cigarettes and beer came out of the room as soon as he opened the door. He's not the best at taking care of himself. \- "I need you to sign this permission for school, please. We're going on a field trip next month."- I said. He sighs as he grabs the pen from my hand. \- "Also, we have to pay 5$ to the school so they can rent the bus."- I said, trying to ignore his annoyed face as he grabs his wallet. \- "Here."- he mumbled, giving me the money and then he closed the door as quickly as he could. That was basically how our conversations went. Never more than a few words and annoyed looks. He's never yelled at me nor got mad at me. He just seems bothered that he has to take care of me. I don't remember seeing him smile once, for as long as I've been alive. He always seems hurt or empty, especially when I catch him looking at my mother's photo that is on the living room. My family never talks about her, but always seems to want to. They always look at my father before saying anything and then change the subject. They've done that so many times, that I've given up on trying to know what happened, but the doubt never leaves and I, someday, would like to know. It's a new day now, and after first perid, I went looking for Ethan. As always, he's playing football with some friends. I don't want to interrupt so I stand beside the bench waiting for him to see me. He's a good player. In the five minutes I've been here, he's managed to run across the field avoiding the other players and has scored twice. He finally notices me and tells the others to continue to play without him. \- "Hi, Sam. What are you doing here?"- he asked. \- "Just wanted to give you more information about my birthday and see if you wanted to hang out."- I said. \- "Sure, let's go to the cafeteria, then. I'm starving."- he complained. \- "You always are."- I said, laughing. We entered the cafeteria, and the smell of baked goods and coffee started making me hungry as well. We ordered two sandwiches and juices and then sat outside. \- "So, you want to go to the lake, right?"- he said. \- "Yeah, it's peaceful so I thought we'd go there for a bit. Do you mind?"- I asked. \- "Not at all. It'll be fun."- he reassured me. \- "Then, we could go to my place. I have darts and we could play videogames." \- "Oh, cool! I have some at my place as well. If you want, I could bring them to yours."- he offered. \- "Sure, I'd love that. Thanks." \- "No problem." \-"So, i was thinking we'd meet up at the gate and then go to the lake. About 16:30h, what do you think?"- I said. \- "Sounds great, can't wait!"- he said, excitingly. We finished eating and then went to a walk around the school. We talked about school, what we were going to do once we were on vacation, and then talked about the most random things anyone could think of. The bell rang, and we each went into our classrooms. It's Thursday, now, my birthday. My father's been getting progressively more depressed as the week went by. He always got like that around that time of the year and as always, he hadn't wished me happy birthday. I pass by his room and knock on his door like I did every morning. It was my way of saying good morning to him. He never responded. I got ready for school and on my way to it, I ran into Ethan. He was excited for that day, more than I was but it was nice to see him like that. He said that he had forgotten my present at his house, so we had to go there before heading to the lake. I told him it wasn't necessary for him to get me a present and he just smiled at me and continued walking. It was 16:15h and I was starting to get anxious. With my father being the way he is, I was afraid Ethan would get bummed by him or say anything that would make my father mad. He had met him before, but it still made me anxious everytime they were together. As I was reaching the gate, I saw Ethan radiating joy. I didn't understand why he was so happy and it kind of made me feel like I should have been happier. \- "Hey, Sam! Happy birthday, pal!"- he said that so loudly that people around, that ididn't even know, started wishing me happy birthday as well. If I had somewhere to hide, I would have. \- "Thank you, Ethan."- said I, sarcastically because he knew I hated that.- "And thank you, everyone." \- "Don't be so embarassed, Sam. It's your day, you get to be the centre of attentions!"- ha said, trying to comfort me. \- "That's the problem. I don't like to be the centre of the attention."- I answered, trying not to seem ungrateful. \- "I know, I know. But some day you're going to have to come out of your shell. You can't live like that for the rest of your life."- he advised. \- "I know, but not now."- I said, smiling. \- "Okay, okay. So, let's get going then." We headed to Ethan's place, and he seemed extra happy when he was going to open the door. As I saw his family jumping and yelling "Surprise!" I understood why. \- "Oh, sweetie. Happy birthday, dear."- said Mrs. Stevens, Ethan's mother. \- "Thank you. Thank you so much."- I said. I looked around and saw a table full of all kinds of food and beverages. I can't believe Ethan had told them to do that, but at the same time, I was so glad he did. His family was really nice, and i liked them a lot, and from what they had said, they liked me too. \- "Here, buddy. From all of us."- Mr. Stevens gave me an envelope with 40$ in it with the warmest smile on his face. \- "I...I can't accept this. It's too much." \- "You can and you will, buddy. You're a great friend to Ethan and part of the family. We love you and hope you have a great year. Now, accept this, please."- he said. Tears filled my eyes as I heard this. It felt so good to have such amazing people care for me. Mr. and Mrs. Stevens noticed that I was tearing up and hugged me. Since they met me, six years ago, they knew about my mother and father. Maybe that was why they had a special care for me and always asked me if I was okay. I looked at Ethan and thanked him for preparing the party. \- "Thanks, man. I think I needed this." \- "I know you did, pal. Happy birthday." We ate, we laughed, and I heard the funniest stories about them. Some of them I already knew and others I just bursted out laughing. I finished eating around 8pm and then, I helped them clean the mess we had made. Ethan walked me home and I invited him in. My father was in the kitchen making some coffee. I was so happy that, for a moment, I forgot who I was talking to. \- "Hi, dad. I just had the best birthday ever! Ethan and his family prepared a surprise party for me. It was so cool! There were lots of food and drinks and we..."- I was interrupted halfway through. \- "Shut up. I don't care."- the hatred in my father's voice scared me to my bones. I looked at Ethan. He seemed as surprised and as scared as I was. That was the most reaction I had ever gotten out of him. \- "But, dad, you should've been there. You would've had so much fun, and you would've liked Ethan's parents as well." \- "Stop talking! You never stop. Don't you get it? I don't care about what happened. I don't care about what you're feeling, and I denfinitely don't care about your birthday party. Just shut up and pretend I'm not here. God knows I am." The silence that followed weighed on me like I was carrying two tons of bricks on my back. Why is he like this? And why now, with Ethan here? I sat down and as my father was leaving the kitchen, I got the courage to ask him something I had always wanted to know. \- "...Dad... do you hate me?" He stopped halfway through the door. He turned around and started almost running towards me. He grabbed my shirt and pushed me against the wall. My body froze when I looked at his eyes. Thos eyes full of hatred and anger... all directed at me. \- "Stop!"- Ethan yelled. My father ignored him. \- "Why do I hate you? How about because you were the one who killed my wife?! She would've been alive if it weren't for you!" My heart sunk.