text: Standing with my back to the counter I readjusted my Joe’s Easy Fill issued name tag, as I stared mindlessly at the microwave, recapping silently in my head the even less interesting things that had happened this glorious Friday evening. It wasn’t long until that state of mind changed. I heard the door ding and half turned my head before the gun was swung up and pointed right between my eyes. “The money or your life!” A rundown man with hair longer than his life expectancy, and clothes almost as warn out as he was, stood at the other end of the voice. I looked him in the eyes almost expecting it to be the same guy who robbed the place four days before. But it was just some nobody. It wasn’t a bad neighborhood or even a store with much money at all, but people make stupid decisions every day. This time I decided not to point out the bank across the street; I didn’t need to piss off those people again. He moved the gun closer as if it becomes more dangerous with an inch less air in the way to slow the bullet. “Are you deaf, I said empty the cash register!” “Well I’m not going to be a dick and point out the fact that you didn’t say that, but I will point out the fact that your wasting the power of the gun just like every movie villain.” “What?” “Oh you know, sticking it in my face. A gun is a long range weapon, and you’re using it up close, its like buying a wrist watch and hanging it on the wall as a wall clock, or buying a racecar and driving the speed limit.” “No, its nothing like that, the gun is right in your face, it doesn't get much more intimidating than that, I’m not wasting the power.” “Sure you are, it’s right in front of me, I could knock it out of your hand or somebody could sneak up behind you.” He took a step away and looked over his shoulder. I love messing with people that don’t know what their doing. “Dude if you were across the room and have a half decent shot then I would be fucked. But right in front of me, you never know if I’m about to throw hot coffee in your face or something. Across the room what would I be able to do to stop you?” He stumbled with his thoughts for a second then snapped back into action. “Hey! Hands in the air! Now I ain’t going across the room and I ain’t leaving here without my money, so fork it over!” I put my hands up for maybe a second but then they dropped almost as quickly as my jaw. “H-o-l-y shit!” “What?” Through the scruffy beard and aged skin I spotted a tiny bit of familiarity. “I know you!” “Huh? Quick stalling!” “No, you’re Tom Burk! From Maplewood High. Its me Chris Peterson!” “W..what? No, now give me my cash!” “Dude we went to high school together, freshmen year, I would go over to your house and we’d watched *Saved By The Bell.*” “Sorry wrong guy.” “No man, Tom Burk, yeah you totally puked all over the stage at graduation.” “Nope, not me.” “Yeah! Ha, they didn’t want to stop the ceremony so all the other kids had to walk across the stage, still covered in vomit, haha, and the one girl didn’t see it on the floor and totally slipped.” “Nope.” “Yeah dude that was awesome, why did we stop hanging out after freshman year?” “You fucked my sister man!” “Oh yeah! See you remember!” “You think that’s gonna help your cause? I’m the one with the gun in my hand, and you’re the one with the gun in your face.” Some people just don’t have any sense of humor. I never really slept with her I just said I did to piss him off. But shows what kind of friend he was if he still hadn’t gotten over it 15 years later “Dude you still pissed about the thing with your sister, we only did it a few times, we were young.” “You don’t sleep with a friends sister! That one of the unwritten laws. But this isn’t about that, I’m here for the damn money!” He then switched the gun to his left hand. I couldn’t imagine holding a heavy gun straight out for five minutes. “Man if a law is unwritten its unwritten for a reason. If she wasn’t your sister you totally would have gone for her.” “Dude that’s disgusting. Now this is the last time I’m gonna tell you to open the register and hand over the money!” “We’ll I just don’t see any reason to now.” “Don’t see any reason?!?!” “Yeah. Well I know who you are, so as soon as you leave I could just call the cops, you wont even get to enjoy the money.” “Did you forget about the gun?” “No but I don’t really see you shooting me over a couple hundred bucks, how much you got on you?” “On me?!?” “Yeah I figure I deserve some money to keep my mouth shut.” “You must think I’m some kind of idiot!” “No, I know you’re an idiot, but I figure your smart enough to know what’s best for you. So give me fifteen bucks and when I get off in an hour I’ll buy you a beer.” The fury in his eyes sunk away as they drifted their focus to the floor. He put his gun in the back of his belt and fumbled through his pockets. Then he pulled out a crumpled bill. “You, you got change for a twenty?” “Sure thing.” I opened the cash register and dropped it in. Grabbed him a five and put fifteen in my pocket. “Well Tom, its good doing business with you. Meet me in front in an hour and we’ll go down to the Owls Nest for some drinks and talk about old times.” “Yeah... I ... I guess so man.” He walked out more disappointed than a kid leaving *Toys-R-Us* empty handed. But hey I think he was pretty lucky. If anybody else was behind the counter they would have hit the silent alarm that we had just gotten installed. He went to a bar that night instead of a jail cell. I don’t think there’s a better outcome than that.