text: Death. It wasn’t anything other than a distant notion. Something that would eventually happen but, you know, in the future. Until now, it was simply an idea that surrounded my daily life in a shroud of fear. It was always looming, but never a real threat. Maybe that’s why I never thought about it. Or maybe all of those video games wrought with carnage and destruction and those horror movies filled with gratuitous gore really did desensitize me to the point of laughing at or altogether dismissing the idea of actually dying someday. Sure, I’ve attended my share of funerals and I even saw that guy get hit by a car right in front of my apartment. Those moments did ground me back to reality for a while. Over time I always went back to the ever so popular “that will never happen to me” mentality. Of course, that’s when I accidentally stumbled into death’s path. All this time, I thought I had control of my own life. I mean, I didn’t think I was above fate, or destiny, or whatever you want to call it. I thought I still had time to make more mistakes, maybe even go on that trip I've been putting off. I simply never gave death much merit. I carved my little niche of a life out of the choices I made. I, like so many others I’ve come to know over the years, struggled my way into and out of most of the cliché of life’s virtues and vices. I kissed my high school sweetheart, Jessica Martin, under the stars near the soccer field. It began to rain a bit but neither of us cared. I was pissed at my boss when that bastard, Jim Montgomery, got that promotion and third floor office with the custom executive desk and shiny name plate. I thought it was “in the bag” until it was announced at the Christmas party. It may have been a simple life, but it was mine, dammit. If I could cry I would. Maybe I am. All of those times throughout the years I thought I was indestructible, and even now. Well, not right now of course. You see, I didn’t realize just how much I cherished the world around me until I could watch myself being devoured by one of its creatures. I would be more accepting of this predicament if it was my fault. I wish I could blame some ancient curse on my family lineage or if I neglected to honor the god of “insert religion here”. Hell, I’d even accept it if in a drunken stupor I accidentally pissed on a mystical being wrought with vengeance in its hollow heart. But no, this thing, this monster that has taken what seemingly insignificant life I had at my dead-end desk job, was simply a “human being”. I use that term in the loosest sense of the word of course. Even as I watch my body move towards lifelessness in this strange third party view that can only be experienced when your head is severed from its home, I can’t imagine any true “human being” possessing such raw violence and a seemingly preternatural enjoyment from the turmoil of others; especially since that human is a thirteen year old bitch of a little girl. I even know her! She spent the night at my house just last weekend. Now, she is feasting on my entrails like my body is part of the raw food diet. The darkness is coming soon, I can feel it. Not in the usual sense of the word. I really don’t feel anything anymore. It’s peaceful really. I’m not sure how much longer I will be in this state of “transition”, for lack of a more appropriate word. It seems like hours ago when I felt that first pain throughout my lower back. That tingling sensation you feel when your hand falls asleep. You know, that damned unshakable “pins and needles feeling”. I felt that flood through my body as it collapsed to the floor. Then came a wincing pain as my upper spine was shattered. My skin and throat were ripped apart and I, well my head at least, finally came to rest here. How appropriate for me to find the best possible position so I can bear witness to the rest of this dreadful show. I find myself trying to recall things, memories, anything. It’s hard. I really just expected, no, I *wanted* this to be some bad episode of a low budget television show. I mean, who the hell ever thinks that a leisurely jog around the block in an attempt at redeeming a New Year’s resolution would turn out like this? Sure, it’s July and the New Year is halfway over, but better late than never, right? Well, I guess in retrospect, never starting would have been much better for me. The humor and irony of those thoughts are lost in the moment it seems. This sight is surreal, like that one movie. Or was that a book? Ha-ha! She really is having a grand old time with my carcass. What the hell is she? And why is she devouring my lifeless body like it was a Thanksgiving feast? Who am I, and who the heck am I even talking to? Oh great, and now here comes ‘nother guy. Is that the calvinry, the cavalry? Hey, too late there, buddy! I’m already decursertated, descalpitated... what the hell? My head is over here and the rest of me is being digested by that little, um, whatever that is! Wait! He isn’t here to slaughter that monster, he’s joining in! Not sure why he chose to start at my groin. I hope you choke on my pipe organ; you freak! I don’t know how much longer I will be in this state of “translation”, for lack of a butter wand. Wait, didn’t I just say that? The blackness is covering most of my eyes now. It’s closing like the ending of the Looney Tunes cartoons I used to watch as a kid. Ha-ha! ‘member that one about the orange monster and the bunny? That was great. All I can thank of, thank if, think of is that fade to black and the simple word ‘fin’ written in fancy white letters. The darkness is coming, and I don’t see the light. They said there was a light when you died! Where’s the light? I want to see the light! Don’t let me die! I’m sorry.