text: The best stories are those we can all relate to. This one is about the hangover monster, which we are sometimes stuck with on a Saturday Morning. Enjoy. *** I was sleeping in late on a Saturday when I heard someone pounding on my bedroom door. "Hope you aren't getting too comfortable in there," called the hangover monster before smashing down my door. The hangover monster looked similar to a certain green knee high, ball shaped cyclops that you might've seen in a children's movie. However, the hangover monster was hairy, just as my mouth felt as I turned to face it. "Can you come back another time?" I pleaded. "But don't you want a glass of water first?" The hangover monster was holding a glass just out of hands reach. When I tried to grab it he tipped it on my bed. "Oops, looks like you peed yourself," said the hangover monster before bursting into a fit of giggles. "You're so annoying," I complained as I walked to the bathroom. When I relieved myself and exited the bathroom, the hangover monster greeted me with a punch in the gut. "What did you do that for?" I scolded him. It was no use though, the hangover monster merely repeated what I said in a mocking tone. I walked to the kitchen where I would have made breakfast if the hangover monster did not punch me, instead I made tea. As I waited for the kettle to boil the hangover monster pulled open the curtains and did a happy jig, kocking plates and cutlery to the floor. Ignoring his attention seeking, I walked to the lounge room and sat on the sofa. Putting my mug down and turning on the tv, I finally started to feel better. "So, do ya? Do ya? Doya doya doyadoyadoya?" nagged the hangover monster and it ran around the room. "Do I what?" I yelled at him. "Do ya want to know what happened last night?" "No," I replied firmly. "Not even a little?" asked the hangover monster in a squeeky voice. "No." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Are you sure you're sure?" The hangover monster now had my remote and was flicking between channels as he ran about the room, yelling, "Are you sure sure your sure your sure? Can you see the seashore? How many shells can sally sell by the seashore? How many? Do you want to know? Do ya, doya doyadoyadoya?" He ran into me at full speed spilling my tea. Flinching as the tea splashed against my hand, I stood up and searched for a towel. The second I took a step forwards, the hangover monster tripped me, and as I fell forward, he pulled at my leg so that I spun three times before crashing back into the couch. The hangover monster jumped onto my stomach hard and continued nagging. He was so close that when I opened my mouth to reply, I could taste its gross hairy body. "Remember when you- oh wait, no you wouldn't remember that now would you, you numb-skull?" said the hangover monster as it shook my head. Though it took all my concentration to ignore it, I managed to just long enough to watch a dreadfully slow Saturday daytime TV show. At some point my phone buzzed. This made the hangover monster become even more excited. I skimmed the first line of the message as the hangover monster changed its nagging from doya to whoisit, which was equally, if not, more annoying. The message read: You get home alright? I have your- I had enough trouble dealing with the hangover monster, figuring out what happened last night could wait. Having watched Gardening in Your Backyard, and Antique Auctions, the hangover monster's nagging became a white noise. As long as I sat completely still I felt fine. That was until nature called. I stood up and stumbled to use the bathroom. Feeling slightly better, I opened the door and pointed to the hangover monster. "Time's up. I'm going to get rid of you." I said. The hangover monster took this as a game, one that involved lots of running, tripping, and gut punching. At first I made some greasy bacon to stick to the hangover monsters fur. It ate this without slowling its pace. Next I tried black coffee. This only made it run twice as fast. Water, I thought as I walked to the hose in the backyard. Naturally the hangover monster followed me, occasionally stepping on my heels. With the hose in hand, I looked left and right for the hangover monster. It stood at the door with a sad look on its face. "Don't you want to spend time with me?" It said as it began to cry. "I thought what we had was special, watching crappy tv on a Saturday morning." Strangley enough, I felt bad for it. It wasn't its fault that it demanded my attention so much- that was their nature. "Sometimes I want to do something else with my Saturdays," I muttered to myself. I found it hard to look at the sullen face of the hangover monster. It had been there for me for since my eighteenth birthday, and despite how annoying it was, I had grown used to its company. I pointed the hose away. "Ok, just today. And not next week. I have a lot of jobs around the house that I need to do." "We both know that's not going to happen," laughed the hangover monster as it followed me back to the lounge. "Yea," I chuckled, "I guess you're right.