text: Tough Love There was a list of things he had to do before the big date tonight. For the last week he’d been envisioning how the evening might go. From the location of their table to the color of his suit, everything needed to be perfect. Thats because thats how she was. She was a perfectionist, and without affirmation, he would be left to wonder what he could have done differently if all did not go accordingly. It had been almost a year since he’d seen her. Leading up to this day, there were many difficult nights trying to piece together his feelings. The last time they had met, he was not in the best place to speak my mind. They had both ridiculed each other on the night of a friends wedding which was out of character for them both. The truth of the matter was that they were drifting apart. In all honesty neither of them had direction in life. He was working for minimum wage, while she had learned to latch onto those with security. Those who could impress her with their success and status. Over the last year he had transformed for the better. Each morning was spent running around his neighborhood and the second hour stretching, completing his yoga practice. The consistency had taken him almost a full year to develop. Sheer determination alone could not take full responsibility. It was his drive to overcome his mistakes that woke him up in the morning, she was his morning sun. Getting into the office, he arrived 15 minutes early so that he would greet and thank his coworkers for their hard work. This way of thinking was new, and had become habitual as he genuinely cared to connect with others. In the last year he had taught himself to be grateful and show up to work with optimism and charisma, which had led to overall growth in the workplace. He treated them like her, and they received his gratitude kindly. The hope was that she would be able to see the changes he had made in his life. While getting dressed for dinner, he envisioned what the rest of the night might look like. Would she lay in his arms until morning? Or how would their first kiss be? Should he make the first move or would it be like in the movies, sudden and passionate. Most importantly he considered how or when he might tell her how he had always loved her. He had never heard her mimic those words back to anyone but those successful boyfriends she had in the past. Tonight he felt reassured as he had financial security and renewed confidence. Hopefully he was just as worthy as the rest, he was in their league. Arriving 15 minutes early, he took initiative to talk with the manager, slipping him a 3 digit bill to reserve the best table in the house. The manger smiled and proceeded to give him a two top overlooking the entire establishment and paired him with his most seasoned waitress on staff. Looking over the wine selection they went over which bottle might be best in season. They chose the Chablis 1992, which was far from fairly priced. Looking down at his phone, he debated whether he should txt her. It was 8:00pm. Approaching his table, the waitress asked if he would like to start with a single glass of the chablis which he declined. “No that is alright. I think she may have miscounted the time” “Certainly Sir, I will be circling around, please let me know if there is anything you need” As 8:15pm turned into 8:30pm, he sat there alone with his glass of water and untouched bread. Over the next 30 minutes he had become more present than he had been all day. Sitting up straight in his chair, he watched as the jazz band played an upbeat new rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” Smiling at the waitress as she made her rounds, he did not feel much pain. Instead his focus drifted to a young couple sitting in a corner booth away from everything. It was a young man and women, no more than a few years younger than himself. The two of them half way decently dressed and were fooling around about something. He watched in admiration as they picked at their appetizers and drank their beers from the bottle. In the preceding years, this is how he and his best friend had been. He considered this with a bittersweet feeling. The waitress circled back again, it was 8:50pm. “Excuse me sir, I wanted to apologize that we had accidentally corked the Chablis. We won’t charge you for the bottle, but my manager had asked that we at least charge you for one glass.” “Thats quite all right, you can charge me for the bottle, and please if you don't mind, would you would take it over to that couple over there with the calamari.” “Sir I’m not sure that they’re a couple, they seem more like friends” He watched as the two giggled to each other about something. “Yeah, they do look like friends. I’m sure they’ll be happy to receive it then.” Paying his bill, he tipped the waitress kindly and proceeded to leave the restaurant. It was 9:00pm and he had been given up. Walking by the booth where the younger pair sat, he overheard the waitress as she informed them of their gift. He did not look back to see their reaction, continuing stride. While paying for his valet ticket, he began to feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. Looking down he saw a text from her. In it seemed to be an explanation from her that was too long for him to pick up at the moment. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into his car, turned on the ignition and began to roll the windows down. Then he heard a yell. “Excuse me sir” It was the young gentleman. “I just wanted to thank you for that bottle of wine for my good friend and I” “Sure, not a problem” He said this with a courteous smile. “By the way kid. If you love her, tell her.” The young man began blushing, and opened his mouth but couldn’t speak a word. “Worse things can happen than you not telling her” Letting these last words settle, he put his car in drive and took off. On the way home he let the fresh air outside blow through his car. On that drive he received another message from her, but did not look to read it. Instead he followed his nighttime routine, organizing his materials for the day ahead. As he wrote down in his journal the 3 things he was thankful that day: I am appreciative today for my health, that I am able to exercise and feel energized each day during my runs. I am grateful today for my job and the amazing people I work with who make my days easier. Lastly I am thankful to have had been stood up tonight. You have taught me the greatest love of all, and that is to love yourself. Txt Message from: Hi, I’m so sorry, my phone didn’t update for day light savings.