text: *One look at her my heart was stopping (Heartbreak)* *I did whatever she was asking* *She said "maybe later catch you in the elevator"* “Hi? Are you looking for something?” I asked as I popped my head out of the door. The girl who was trying hard to fit her keys into my apartment door grew red in the face as she saw me. “Oh, I’m so, so sorry. I thought this was my apartment,” she chuckled slightly to relieve her embarrassment. “Do you know which is door 32?” “Which letter?” I inquired. “Oh? There’s letters to them?” she looked back down to the paper in her hand. “Yeah. My door is the only one that doesn’t have it since remodeling still hasn’t reached me, thank god for that.” “I think it says 32 N?” “Then you’re across the hall 3 doors to the left,” I answered. Now I let my eyes take her in. She was breathtaking. Heartstopping. Her honey blonde hair reflected the lights of the hall, shimmering and dancing. Dressed in a loose blouse and short skirt. Boots accompanied her wardrobe pushing her up by a few centimeters. The way she looked at me with those blue eyes, oh man. I knew I was in trouble. “Nice to have you in neighbour. My name is Bryan. Hope you find everything great. And if you need me, please don’t hesitate to ask,” I said in greeting. “Thanks. I’m Adeline.” she reached out and shook my hand. “Maybe catch you later in the elevator someday?” she offered. “Definitely,” I smiled. *A couple days we got to hanging (Real close)* *Turns out she wasn't even taken (No no)* *I made a move she said "baby you're mistaken, I'm not into bacon"* “You’re not in a relationship!? How?” I asked in surprise. For the past few days, I’ve been hanging out with Adeline, going out places and getting into trouble. It honestly felt like I was back in highschool. Hadn’t had this much fun since then. Adeline was adventurous and had a craziness that brought mine out. “I just haven’t met the right one,” she sighed. “Too many of the people I’ve liked don’t seem to like me back or turn out to be one of those messed up bitches.” She moved around on her bed to hang her head in order to look at me. I was sitting down leaning on the door of her closet watching her exaggerated movements. “Out of all the people you’ve met, you haven’t found the right one? I doubt that. According to you, you’re adventurous, you’ve been to places. Not to mention, gorgeous!” I chuckled. “Well you’re right about all of that. But, no. I haven’t met the right one,” she seemed to be staring off into space after that. “Aw, honey. You’re breaking my heart.” I clutched my heart as I dropped in an exaggerated manner to the ground. “Breaking your heart?” “Yeah, You say you haven’t met the right guy. I’m right here, breaks my little heart.” I pout. “Oh, uh. Sorry, I uh. I guess I was being vague huh?” --she looked at me with obvious sympathy-- “I’m not into guys. I’m uh...I’m lesbian.” Those words hit me hard. The realization of what it meant for me and my feelings was painful. It really did break my heart. *She got that smile and that body is to die for* *One of a kind and that's why it makes me cry* “We can still be friends. Right?” I couldn’t say no to her. Despite my feelings being crushed, they were still there. I might be making a stupid decision by crushing myself, but I just had to be with her. Even as friends. However sad it may be. “Yeah, friends.” I answered. *'Cause I found a girl* *Who's in love with a girl* *She said that she tried* *But she's not into guys* *Oh, why, tell me why* *Did I fall for those eyes?* *She said I was nice* *But she's not into guys* *I found a girl* “So what’s with that look in your eyes?” I asked as I sat down next to Adeline. I scanned the direction she was looking at. We were at a bar, so it was crowded. Lots of people were in the way obstructing our view. But then I finally caught a glimpse of what she was looking at. Actually, **who** she was looking at. It was an attractive bartender. Pretty and well toned. With a bit of a tan. Her hair was tied into a ponytail as she scrubbed one of the tables trying her best to clean it. My throat tied into a knot. A year and a half passed since I met Adeline, a bit of time also passed since her confession of her orientation. Enough to allow me to digest it properly. Yet, I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want her to get a girlfriend, if she did, it would cement the reality permanently. “She’s not worth it you know. You deserve better. Better than someone who works at a bar for a living,” I complained. “What? You say something...?” She was distracted. She wouldn’t be paying attention to any of my complaints. So instead, I ordered a drink from the man behind the counter. “One of your strongest ones please,” I signalled. The man stopped drying the cup he had his hands on and proceeded to scan the bottles on the shelves. He came over with one after finding it and poured a bit into a shot glass. “Tough night, huh.” he glanced at Adeline who continued looking at the girl as she went around taking orders from the customers. There were a couple people on the stage singing along to the karaoke. They were surprisingly good at it. Had the voice for it. Even when drunk. I downed the shot glass and placed it back on the counter. “Yeah, something like that,” I answered. “I’ll be right back Bryan. I’m gonna go introduce myself,” she got up. “Wait, I don’t think it’s proper etiquette to hit on people while they’re... Nevermind,” she left before I could finish. “So, how many am I allowed to have?” “Well, we don’t really have a limit. I guess you could drink as much as you want as long as you don’t drive,” the man answered. “I’ll have a few more then, please.” After several shots passed, the waitress Adeline was staring at came over to announce she was getting off shift. “I’m still gonna be here, so if you need any help, feel free to ask. I’ll be over there with that hottie,” she chuckled. And with that, she left with a small strut. “Life is unfair, you know?”-- my voice was starting to gain a little slur -- “Like, you love someone. But they don’t love you back. Worse of all, they don’t even love your gender! Like, if I were to have been born a girl, I wouldn’t have a problem being with her. But she doesn’t like guys. Why are girls like that?” I groaned to the man, Harrison. “I’m not sure dude. Girls are a mystery. Though, I was able to catch myself a great one. She’s my wife now. All I know to say is, fight for your love. Maybe she’ll come around, I doubt it. But what’s the harm in trying? And if it doesn’t work out, there are literally more girls than there are guys in the world.” “You’re right, I need a nap.” *I should've known to walk away then* *I should've left it alone* *But when she called me on the phone we'd be hanging again* *Under the premise of friends* *But now she only talks to me about some other woman* *She says* My phone buzzed. I looked over at it. The buzzer was making it move a lot, threatening to launch it off the boxes I placed it on. I groaned. This really wasn’t the best time for anyone to call me. I had to unpack all of my shit before I had to go to an interview. I didn’t even have any proper clothes for the fucking thing. *Clack!* I lifted my head to see that my phone had fallen off the box. The screen lit up signalling that I just missed the call. Whatever, I could check it out later. Right now, I had to at least move the couch inside, before it got soaked from the impending rain. It was a difficult task to do, but I was able to manage to get the sofa inside. Don’t ask me how, I had trouble even fitting it through the stupid door. With it inside, and a couple of minutes to spare, I looked at my phone. **6 missed calls, 4 unopened messages.** Who the hell could it be? Of course. As soon as I opened them, the name Adeline popped up. Haven’t even seen her name in a few weeks. Nearly forgot about her entirely. Another year passed since she started dating Yvette. The presence of her girlfriend dominated her all the time. Even when it was just the two of us. **Ady:** ***Are you all set up yet?*** **Ady:** ***Can I come over?*** **Ady:** ***Stop ignoring me. Let’s just talk*** **Ady:** ***We’re hanging out today. Whether you like it or not. I’ll text you the address. I promise that it’ll just be the two of us.*** Agh! Why can’t I get rid of her? Or at least crush and throw away my feelings? *She got that smile* *And that body is to die for* *One of a kind* *And that's why it makes me cry* She just played around with the food on her plate. Poking it with her fork. The silence was awkward. The ambience of friends wasn’t there anymore. No playfulness, no fun. Nothing. I wonder what happened to change all that. I can’t deny that I didn’t miss her. She was everything good that happened to my life. And the memories I have of us together were too precious to lose. *'Cause I found a girl* *Who's in love with a girl* *She said, that she tried* *But she's not into guys* *Oh, why, tell me why* *Did I fall for those eyes?* *She said I was nice* *But she's not into guys* *I found a girl* “I know that we’ve been on a rocky path. We haven’t exactly been the greatest of friends anymore. But, I had fun with you. I like you and I treasure all the experiences we’ve had together. I just, I want us to be friends again. I miss the old times we had,” she sighed, “I want to be friends again. *Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh* *I found a girl* *Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh* I didn’t know how to answer to her. I was at a loss for words. The emptiness in me seemed to gnaw at me begging me to answer her. *I can't believe I met somebody like you* *And now I feel like a fool* *Anatomy is so cruel* *I can't believe it I just think like a man* *That you just wanted me bad* *But you had different plans* I don’t know what got into me next. What the hell possessed me? What was I even thinking? All I know is that that I lost myself in her eyes as I leaned in. Our lips grazed each other’s softly. It was slow. But I enjoyed every moment of it. I was hungry for more and leaned in to keep going. *SMACK!* My cheek burned from how hard Adeline struck me. “What the HELL Bryan!!” she demanded angrily. “I’ve got a girlfriend! You can’t do that!” Guilt washed over me as I saw tears start to squeeze through her eyes. Why did I do that? Everyone in the diner had their eyes on me as she left running. *'Cause I found a girl* *Who's in love with a girl* *She said, that she tried* *But she's not into guys* *Oh, why, tell me why* *Did I fall for those eyes?* *She said I was nice* *But she's not into guys* *I found a girl* *Found a girl* *Who's in love with a girl* *She said, that she tried* *But she's not into guys* *Oh, why, tell me why* *Did I fall for those eyes?* *She said I was nice* *But she's not into guys* *I found a girl* I’m happy now. I have a girlfriend that I love very much. A stable job. A happy life. No regrets. Well. Mostly no regrets. I only have one. I never knew what happened to Adeline after she left. After that scandal. I changed my phone number and disconnected from the world. That is until Christa brought me back into the world. I’m at a diner now. Similar to the one from all those years ago. We’re having a great time celebrating our dating anniversary. But there’s something familiar in the air. I don’t know what. Maybe I should look around. But my eyes, won’t budge. Not from that girl sitting in front of another girl. Her smile is dazzling. Familiar. Like home. And her eyes, familiar as they are, lock on to me. A small smile is offered to me which I return with one of my own. Maybe I should go over and introduce myself. Excuse myself from Christa.