text: “I’ve never done this before. What do I do?” “Really? It’s just trick-or-treating. It’s so easy.” She wrung her hands together and stared at the ground. “Don’t laugh at me. I didn’t grow up in America like you did.” “Hey,” he took her hands into his and gently kissed her wedding ring, smiling all the while. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make fun of you, it’s just a really simple concept, is all. You just go up to the house, take what you want, move on to the next one, and repeat. Easy, right?” “Yeah. Easy.” She refused to look up at him, refused to replicate his smile. “Minnie, what’s wrong?” “Nothing.” “Minnie...” She gave no response. He sighed. “Minnie, maybe you shouldn’t go out tonight. I know Dr. Singh said that you’d be better off staying in-” Finally, she looked up at him, but only to shove him away. “Dr. Singh doesn’t know what’s best for me. He’s just paranoid.” “He’s a doctor. I’m sure he knows what you-” “No, Sam. I want to go out tonight. I’m going to. Cheng was so excited for this and I’m not letting him down.” He stared sadly at her for a few long moments. “Okay,” he whispered. She jutted her chin out at him and took a step back. “I’m going to get ready.” She turned around and trudged up the stairs, ignoring the eyes following her up. ~~~ “Mama! Mama! Mama!” She sighed heavily and looked down at the toddler tugging at her pant leg. “What, Cheng?” “What’re they doing?” Cheng pointed out the window. Minnie followed his hand to see hordes of children rushing around outside, all wearing cheap costumes and carrying pails or pillowcases. “Trick-or-treating, bǎobèi.” “What’s that?” “Go ask your father.” The child ran out of the room, calling out for his dad. A soft smile formed on Minnie’s face. Cheng was only two, now, but he already held all of his mother’s heart. Tiny footsteps returned only a minute later. “Mama! I wan’ go trick-treating!” “Oh, not this year, bǎobèi.” Cheng pouted. “Why?” “You’re too young. And it’s very cold outside. And you don’t have a costume.” “But I wanna go!” The toddler stamped his feet. “No, Cheng.” Loud cries suddenly rang out, so shrill that Minnie flinched. She hurried to scoop her child into her arms and shush him. “Next year, bǎobèi. Next year, I promise.” ~~~ Standing in the mirror, she looked like an angel, wearing a white dress and a halo over her head, but she did not see it. She was smiling down at a picture in her wallet. Bright eyes, almond in both shape and color; short, dark brown hair; pale, chubby cheeks; a perfect child. “Mama.” The voice jolted her out of her memory. She looked up to see the child from the picture reflected in the mirror behind her. Cheng looked like a little zombie, complete with blue skin and dirty clothes. “You scared me, Cheng,” Minnie said to his reflection. “Where did you come from?” “I wanna go, Mama.” “I know, bǎobèi. Just give me a few more minutes, alright?” The child was gone in the blink of an eye. A moment later, Sam stood in his place. Minnie’s smile switched to a frown. “What?” “I’m going with you,” Sam said. She spun around to face him. “Why?” “You know why.” He stepped farther into the room to look through their closet. She glared at him the whole time. “No.” “Min.” “No! I don’t need to be watched like a dog.” “That’s not what-” “I am fine, Sam.” “I know that that’s not true.” “Oh, so you think I’m crazy like Dr. Singh does.” “No, I just know that you’re upset about....” “And you aren’t?” He looked at her, offended. “Of course I am. Why would I not be?” “You don’t act like it. And you don’t need everyone following you around and treating you like a baby.” “Why can’t I just want to go out with you?” “Because.” Sam moved over to her and took her hand. “Min-Jun, I love you. You know that. But I know how hard it is for you right now. It’s hard for both of us. But we have to heal, and we can start by spending some more time together. Please.” He was tearing up, but she just stared at him. “You’re just saying what Dr. Singh says.” “And? He knows what he’s talking about.” Her only response was a short huff. “There’s no harm in me coming with you. Just let me go.” “Whatever,” she grumbled. She pulled herself away from him and stormed out of the room. ~~~ “You look confused,” Dr. Singh said, adjusting the cuffs on his suit jacket. “Would you like me to explain it again?” “It’s just...” Sam shook his head. “She’s never had these...episodes before. I thought people with schizophrenia had it all their lives.” “Oftentimes, yes. But traumatic events can just as easily cause psychotic episodes as genetics. Many people have the genes to be schizophrenic, but only begin to have episodes after a particularly stressful event. And I know the beginning of this year hasn’t been very good to you.” “Right.” Sam let out a deep breath and massaged his forehead. “So, what do we do?” “I promise, it won’t be as difficult as you may think. Your main priority is to make sure you are both living your lives as healthy and happy as possible, which shouldn’t be too far off from what you were doing before. You just have to keep a close eye on her. People tend to hurt themselves or others while having a psychotic episode, without having the slightest idea of what they’re doing.” Sam scoffed. “She couldn’t hurt a fly.” “A lot of people think that.” Sam swallowed heavily. “Okay, well, will she need medication?” Dr. Singh nodded. “But she may not need to take it everyday of her life. Many only take medication during and after strong episodes. I will be able to prescribe her a medicine after I know a bit more about her symptoms.” Dr. Singh opened a drawer in his desk, took out a booklet, and handed it to Sam. “This will give you some more information and resources. I advise that you do plenty of research.” “Will do.” “Any other questions for me?” Sam just shrugged. “Min-Jun?” Throughout the entire meeting, Minnie sat silently, her hands flat on her lap, her eyes never moving from a small picture frame on the doctor’s desk. Dr. Singh leaned forward. “Min-Jun?” Very slowly, Minnie reached out and grabbed the picture frame. She whispered, “You have beautiful children.” ~~~ She did not want to, but she waited at the bottom of the stairs for him. When he came down, he wore only a suit as a costume, and a solemn yet hopeful expression on his face. “Are you ready?” He asked, as if their argument had not just happened. She shrugged. “Cheng is ready.” She gestured at the child calmly standing at her side. When she returned her eyes to her husband, she saw that his expression had shifted into pain and fear. “What?” “Min...” He stepped closer, shaking his head, and gently touched her arm. “What?” “I really don’t think you should go out tonight. Especially if you’re seeing-” She pushed him away and shouted, “Stop talking like I’m crazy.” “Minnie, you need to accept-” “And stop acting like that stupid doctor.” She snatched Cheng’s candy pail off of the floor and ripped the door open. “I am fine. We would all be fine if you would stop acting like this.” She left the house and slammed the door behind her. She heard him follow her out and call her name, but she refused to wait up for him. Instead, she broke into a sprint down the driveway and kept running until she was sure she had lost him in the crowd of trick-or-treaters. ~~~ According to the medical examiner, they should find solace in the fact that it happened so fast, that there was no pain. But the parents were always the ones to feel pain in situations like these. The trial had been quick. The driver had pleaded guilty to the charge of vehicular manslaughter. He had apologized profusely, swearing that it was an accident. Saying that if he could take it all back, if he could bring back their child, he would. Minnie screamed at him nonetheless. The house was so quiet, now. They barely ate or slept. They never spoke. Minnie spent much of her time in Cheng’s room. Three months after the accident, they sat at the kitchen table together, slowly and silently sipping tea. The time of constant tears had passed, leading them to perpetual numbness and grief. Yet, Minnie was unfazed when tiny footsteps padded into the kitchen. “Do you want some cereal?” She asked. “No, thank you,” Sam muttered. She poured a bowl, anyway, and set it at Cheng’s place at the table. “There you go, bǎobèi.” Sam’s head snapped up to look at her. “What?” She casually sat back down and nodded at her son. “I was talking to Cheng.” Sam flinched. “What?” “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Minnie...” He stood and crept towards her. “We can’t be in denial, anymore.” “In denial of what?” “Minnie, he’s gone. He’s gone and we need to come to terms with it.” “Gone?” She glanced at her child. “But he’s right there.” Sam looked at where Cheng always sat, then back at her. “No, he isn’t.” His eyes started to water, and Minnie started to believe that something was actually wrong. “But...But he...” As if a fog cleared, her memories returned, and she began to sob. Sam tried his best to quiet her, but to no avail. She wanted her son back. ~~~ She wandered through the streets for at least an hour, all alone. She lost track of the number of happy families she passed by. They angered her. At every home she went to, people seemed confused as to why she was trick-or-treating without a child, and those who knew of her loss seemed concerned as to why she was out at all. Still, she went on, collecting candy for her baby. Eventually, she found herself on the wealthier side of town. Bigger houses and yards, nicer costumes and cars. As it got later, the younger children began to return to their homes. Minnie kept her eyes on them. There was one boy she noticed, a small one in a zombie costume. She followed him and his mother down the street, getting closer with every step, until she was close enough to grab the child’s shoulder. He and his mother turned to look at her. “Sorry,” Minnie said, slightly dazed. “He just looks so much like my son did. So cute.” “Aw, thank you,” the other woman said. She nudged her son. “Say thank you.” “Thank you,” the boy said. Minnie knelt down to see the boy better. “What’s your name?” “Eddy.” “How old are you, Eddy?” “Four.” Minnie smiled. “You really do look so much like my son.” The boy had nothing to say to that. “I want him back.” Screams rang out, and suddenly she was running back the way she came. She frantically tried to calm the struggling child in her arms. There was no reason for him to be panicking; he was just going back home. At some point, she passed her husband, who called out to her, but she did not stop until she got to her house. She locked the front door behind her, then carried the boy up the stairs to Cheng’s room. “Calm down, bǎobèi,” she said over the child’s screams. “You just need to stay in your room for a while, okay?” She set the child in the room, closed him in, then quickly barricaded the door with the hallway dresser. Someone was pounding on the front door, so Minnie went to see who. She peeked out the window next to the door and saw a man in a suit. The only suit wearing man she knew was Dr. Singh, and she would never let him into her home. She assumed he was sent here because people were calling her crazy, again. How dare he? She would need to defend herself from being taken away in a padded bus. So, she went to her kitchen and grabbed a large knife. Then, she returned to the door and slowly opened it, holding the knife behind her back. The doctor burst in as soon as the door was unlocked, shouting, “Min, what the hell is going on?” “What do you mean?” Minnie asked, innocently. “What do I mean? Seriously? Min, you ran off while you’re clearly in the middle of an episode; I’m an idiot for even letting you go out. And then you come back with a kid and the whole street freaking out behind you-” “All I did was bring my son home.” “Min, you kidnapped a fucking kid! I can hear him upstairs. Are you insane ?” Her eyes widened. “I’m not crazy,” she whispered. “Stop acting like I’m crazy.” “Well, it’s kind of hard to do that when you kidnap someone.” He ran his hands down his face and paced in a circle. “Shit, I need to call the cops.” She screeched “No!” and lunged forward, swinging the knife wildly. The doctor raised his arms in an attempt to defend himself, but she was relentless, and soon the knife got stuck in the side of his throat. He gurgled and gasped for air, crumpling to the ground. She followed him down, letting the knife clatter to the floor. He managed to let out a whisper of her name. She smiled and kissed him as she realized who he really was. She sat there, calm, as the screaming upstairs went on, as sirens blared down the street, and as her husband bled out in her arms.