text: Kayla had always done things backwards. As a baby, she learned to walk before she learned to crawl. She learned to use utensils before using her fingers. She learned how to write before she could read. As a teenager, things weren’t much different for her. She had had sex, gotten pregnant, and had a baby before ever going on a real date. As a result of this, she had gotten married at a very young age. She was sixteen and her baby’s father was eighteen. They barely knew each other before having a baby and getting married. Luckily, he was loyal and supportive and had been raised to take responsibility for his actions. Kayla was, overall, a good wife and mother. She kept the house clean, and the baby, as well. She kept Kip, her husband, fed and satisfied. Deep down, though, Kayla had never wanted this life for herself. Her mother, when Kayla had mentioned this once, told her to ‘suck it up and deal with it’. In her heart of hearts, Kayla had always dreamed of being a doctor. She was fascinated with all things medical and watched every medical show that was aired on television, whether it was reality tv or fictional drama. Alas, Kayla had never even finished high school, having quit to have Stephen and then marrying Kip. Kayla had just about decided that she would at least go back and get her GED when she sadly found out that she was, once again, pregnant. This broke Kayla’s heart, not that she would admit it to Kip. He was over the moon. He adored little Stephen, and was hoping for a daughter this time around. Kayla pretended to share his enthusiasm, but deep down she resented the baby just a little. When her beautiful little girl, Cheyenne, was born, she felt ashamed of herself because she felt nothing towards the darling little baby that they placed in her arms. Kip would come in from work and immediately go to spend time with his ‘little crew’ as he called the children. During this time, Kayla would make dinner. One night at dinner, when Cheyenne was about three months old and Stephen was one, Kayla mentioned to Kip that she wanted to pursue her GED. Kip was in agreement - if it could be done from home and online. Kayla researched it later and found that it could not be done that way. Her town offered two choices - day classes or night classes. When Kayla mentioned that to Kip, he balked. He didn’t like the idea of her leaving the kids all day, even if it was with one of their mothers, nor did he care for her being gone for several hours at night. Kip liked their little life and their little routine. Finally, it occurred to him to ask her why she wanted a GED so badly. Kayla looked at her husband. She cared deeply for him and didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she decided to be honest. “Kip, I want a better life than this. I want more money. I want a nicer house. I want fancier things. I want to become a doctor.” Kip, although normally a very kind man, busted out laughing. “Kayla, do you realize that passing the GED is just the first step? You would have four years of college and four years of medical school. Not to mention the hours you would have to put in after that. My God, you watch all these medical shows. You should know better than I do what you would be looking at.” This angered Kayla, but she didn’t let it show. She was more determined than ever to get that GED. After that, she wasn’t sure what she would do, but she was going to get that damn GED or die trying. Secretly, she arranged for her mother to watch the kids while she went to day classes. Her mother wasn’t crazy about the arrangement, but she reluctantly agreed. Kayla went to her classes and worked hard, then rushed home and worked hard there, as well. Finally, the day came when Kayla completed her GED program and received her certificate. She was elated! When Kip asked her that night what had brought on the fancy dinner and the romantic attitude later that night, she just shrugged with a little grin on her face. Kayla secretly applied to several colleges and universities. She was determined to take the next step. When the day came that she was accepted, it was a bleak day, indeed. She had just come from a doctor’s appointment, where she had found out that she was, once again, pregnant. She opened the letter and found that she was accepted to a school across the country. Kayla was devastated by both pieces of news. She didn’t want to be pregnant again, didn’t want another little burden around. She wanted to go to college, but no way would Kip be willing to move across the country. She thought long and hard about her situation. She watched Stephen and Cheyenne play while she thought. Finally, Kayla made a decision. Kayla picked up the phone and called her doctor’s office. Her doctor didn’t do what she was asking for, but he referred her to someone that would. She made the appointment for the next day. The next call she made was to her mother. She told her mother that she had to go back to the doctor for a test that they wanted to run, so her mother agreed to keep the kids. Kayla got up after Kip went to bed that night. She wrote a long letter to Kip, and one to her mother. She also wrote letters for both kids. She slipped the letter for Kip down inside a pocket in the diaper bag, as well as the ones for her mother and the kids. The next morning, everything seemed normal. She made breakfast, talked with Kip over coffee, took care of the kids - all of the usual stuff. Once Kip left for work, she grabbed the kids, the diaper bag, and her suitcase and loaded everything into the car. She drove to her mother’s and dropped off the kids. Her mother insisted that she return directly from her doctor’s appointment and she assured her that she would. She had no intention of ever returning to her mother’s house again. She drove straight to the doctor’s office and had the abortion that she had decided upon. She then got back into her car and went to the bank, where she drew out half of their money. She had already accepted the invitation to the university that was across the country and she had a dorm room all lined up. She steered her car onto the interstate and never looked back.