text: Once upon a time, there were three stoners named Beonard, Bumble and Bump. The Stoners were close friends, and lived together in a yellow house in the concrete jungle. The were joined by their adopted albino cat, Miles, a cat who lived a challenging life as a stray before being adopted. Since then, he has been mean to anyone who even attempted to pick him up. Beonard suffered scratches on his arm, Bumble on his leg, he even scratched Bump, the nicest to him, on his face. Still, the stoners insisted on giving him a better life. On a clear, sunny day in April, the three stoners ran out of weed. Although all the dealers they knew were out, Bumble heard a rumor of a new dealer with a fabled strain called The Wiz. As all of them cheered, Bump's calendar reminded him that today was Miles' vet appointment. Bumble said they should go buy some weed before they run out, but Bump said Miles' vet appointment was more important. Beonard agreed with Bump, and said they would go buy "The Wiz" after going to the vet. He even suggested they could take his four wheeled, silver chariot. Once Bumble begrudgingly agreed, Bump lured Miles into his crate with catnip and they all hopped in Beonard's chariot and raced down the interstate at 40 miles per hour, to the vet. While examining the pale, volatile cat, the plump, bearded veterinarian commented that Miles had become a little chubby, but the three stoners were more concerned with his behavior. They asked why the cat was so hostile toward them, but the physician answered that he will only warm up to those that show him true love. Once he started talking about the cat's weight again, the stoners trailed off and forgot to pay the bill. They were more concerned with picking up The Wiz. "Speeding" down the interstate at 35 miles per hour, the three stoners talked about Miles. Bumble scoffed in disbelief that the cat could ever love them after already giving him a home a year ago. Bump replied that he must love them deep down, but had trouble expressing it after the harsh life he lived before. Beonard questioned if it was worth it to wait another whole year for him to be more loving. Before Bump could answer, Bumble pointed out the mile marker 69 sign, so Beonard pulled the silver chariot over and the three stoners giggled at it for 20 minutes. Bump then made a startling realization, they had been driving in the wrong direction, and they were 45 minutes from the dealer's house. The three friends were devastated, none of them could wait that long to get stoned. Everyone remained silent as the sound of the running motor filled the Kia sedan. Just when all seemed lost, a large bright green fire sparked next to the road sign. Out of the blaze stepped a tall woman in a long sleeveless dress with pale green skin, and dark greek dreadlocks of hemp. The three stoners stepped out of the car and slowly approached the mysterious woman, immediately struck by the strong weed aroma she gave off, and asked who she was. She declared herself as Mary Jane Wanda, Goddess of Weed, supplying the plant to those in need for a chill time. Beonard asked if she was here because they needed the sticky icky, but she replied she was only there to laugh at the mile 69 marker on the interstate. She did, however, offer them the weed of their choice, but their payment would be costly, depending on the strain. Bumble told her the only strain they desired: The Wiz. Wanda the Weed God bellowed that that strain is indeed highly sought after, so for their payment, she asked from them their most prized possessions. From Beonard, Wanda asked for his favorite knife that he always carried with him. Although reluctant, his judgement was quickly overwhelmed by Wanda's fragrance, and he gave her his knife. In return, he was given a small bag of The Wiz. From Bumble, Wanda asked for his prized jewel that he carried with him wherever he went. Bumble too was hesitant, but changed his mind once in the presence of her scent, and gave her his jewel. Again, her reward was a small bag containing the strain they have desired most. From Bump, however, she only asked to see his cat. Bump complied, pulling out the crate and set it on the ground before her, opening the door and letting the cat out. Wanda was surprisingly taken by how adorable the feline was, and expressed that she would accept the cat as payment, stating it would be the perfect gift for her friend's upcoming birthday. In return, she would reward the three stoners with all The Wiz they needed. The friends looked at each other with a defeated look on their faces. To Bumble and Beonard, both of their problems could be solved. Bump, however, was reluctant. He was not as ready to get rid of the cat, and refused, even as he felt his mind become victim to Wanda's odor. Slowly, though, the aroma emanating from Wanda's aura began to cloud Bump's mind. As he felt himself succumb to Wanda's pull, Miles turned around, staring Bump in the eye, and whimpered a soft "meow". Bump felt ecstatic, reached down, and lifted Miles to cradle him in his arms. His friends, expecting the cat to react violently, stepped back. Instead, the albino cat melted in his arms, completely at ease, and for the first time, he was purring. All three stoners looked at each other once more before turning to Wanda, and declining her offer, stating that Miles was one of them. Moved by their action, the Weed Goddess happily rewarded each of them an ounce of The Wiz before laughing at the mile 69 sign once more, and disappearing in the green fire. In celebration of their new bond with Miles, the stoners hopped back into the silver chariot, and drove 25 miles an hour back to their yellow house to binge watch *Planet Earth 2*. After they smoked the last of The Wiz a month later, they gave up weed altogether, realizing they could still get high, on love.