text: It's only been a few minutes, and already I'm feeling such terrible, terrible, guilt. I thought it through, planned everything out for weeks and took everything into consideration...or at least I thought I did. I guess I overlooked the consequences end of the deal. I didn't figure in how I would feel about actually going through with this. I didn't think of how I was going to get out of this mess, if and when I did go through with the plan. I tried to call my mum, but I couldnt speak when she picked up so I hung up abruptly. She's been trying to call me back, but I can't answer the phone. How would I even tell her about this? How can I tell anyone about it? If I call the police, it's game over for sure... I don't know if there is a defense I could come up with for myself that would sway judge and jurry to find me innocent. I'm not innocent.... If he would have just been a faithful boyfriend, I wouldn't be in this situation. The past two years having been nothing but lies, catching him with different one night lovers... Things of that sort. We met 3 years ago on Plenty Of Fish. Yeah, that was a low point in my life. Turning to a somewhat sketchy dating site to find someone that would make me feel important. I should have figured it wasn't going to last, but our first year together went so well! He showed me off to friends and family, said I was his girl, took me to movies, on camping trips, we even went to a couple theme parks that summer. We moved in together by the second year. That was when things started going south. The men, the women, the lying to me and making promises that it wouldnt happen again only to do it again the very next day. He would use money from my bank account to get gifts for the people he cheated on me with. Sometimes making me prepare breakfast for them in the morning, when I'd come home from working all night only to find some stranger in my house. This year I just decided enough was enough. He told me a month ago that he was going to change for good this time. I told him that if he didn't, then I'd get rid of him and carry on with my own life. He took that as breaking up, I meant it as killing him. Well, Vinny never did change and I've spent the last few weeks thinking of how I was going to handle the situation. I wore some rubber gloves and stabbed him 42 times in the chest. There is no cover for this. My intentions were to kill him and I did. I'm just sorry for what this is going to do to my mother. I did answer her call, by the way. I told her to call the police, and not ask why. I guess she listened, because I can hear the sirens in the distance. I won't fight it, when they get here. No sense in denying the truth, after all. So, for now, I'm just going to sit on my porch, knife still stuck in my late boyfriend's chest, and confess to it when they come for me.