text: I met them when my mother died, the god of death such a powerful role for just one being to have. I watch them walk up to the hospital bed that my frail mother lay in and hold her hand with such tenderness, such love that I would never doubt that they loved all humans they took. I heard the heart monitor stop, it didn’t really occur to me what just happened until they were gone and the nurse rushed in yelling about how she had a DNR. Just like that my mother died and I saw the love of my life for the first time, love and first sight some might say, it's a bit strange when the moment your mother dies you aren't even thinking about her, but about the being that is taking her away from you. The next time they appear I’m confused, no one around me appears to be dying. I was just sitting in a dark corner of the public library. They were leaning against a wall just a few meters from where I was, looking intently at me. When they saw me looking as they walked towards me, I panicked. Was this my time, sometimes I look back and wish it was. I heard a gunshot, followed by people screaming. I looked at death and they were still just standing there leaning against the wall staring at me. More gunshots and I heard someone scream to run, I tried to get up but they shook their head, so I stayed seated there for what felt like hours until the cops came rushing in and death vanished. Later I found out 17 people died and 13 people were injured, the gunman shot himself with his last bullet, no one found out why he did this. Death knows, and so do I, they wanted to see me so they caused chaos in the only way they know how. It went on like this for decades, everytime they appeared people died, they never talked to me, only stared intensely. Part of me enjoyed this. Part of me loved the fact that they were willing to let others die just to see me. I loved them, I loved the way they would just appear randomly at seemingly normal times, we never spoke, we never touched, and we never would but both of us knew the other was deeply in love. I watch them take nearly everyone I know, my Dad who died of a heart attack, my brothers who both died in the same tragic boating accident, my sister who caught covid, that was the longest time they ever stood there during the pandemic, it was years. A specially designed disaster so that they could watch me for years. The last time I saw them I was standing at a crash site just down the road from my musty little apartment, a little 2003 sky blue honda wrapped around a power pole. My best friend is in my arms, blood pouring out of his head. I can't tell who is screaming but I think it might be me. I can see the flashing lights of the ambulance that is racing down the road to get to us, but that is the last thing on my mind because they are standing before me again. It has been decades since our first encounter at the hospital, but we had shared many more. “No” this comes out as a rasp, “No you can't have him, we still have so much to do together, where are you going to go see the pyramids, where are gonna do so much together, you can't.” I look them in the eyes, and they shake their head. “Im sorry” they mutter “I must”, and I can feel when he dies in my arms, and I can feel the paramedic pull him from my grasp and try and resuscitate him, and I know its a futile effort because death has spoken and no one can override there decision. It feels like time stops, tears run down my face. “You follow me never saying a word and think you can take whoever you want away” I scream, my throat feels raw. They look at me “you loved it” I know I did and that's what hurts the most. “Fuck you and your little fucking game, I never want to see you again.” I say harshly, my legs give out beneath me and another flood of tears falls down my face and I don't know who they are for. A young paramedic is trying to help me to an ambulance as I sob uncontrollably, he’s trying to clean the blood off my hands, it seems like a pointless task there is so much blood on my hands I don't think anyone can clean it off. They are still there standing in the distance, I can see them, for the first time they look like they're mourning a loss. It has been thousands of years since I last saw death standing next to that power pole. They have visited everyone but me since then, stalking me everywhere I go but never getting close enough for me to see.