text: Ted zipped his red suit up and looked in the mirror. If only the guys from high-school could see him now. Thankfully, though, the only people seeing him wouldn't even recognize him like this... not even Diane, who had no idea Ted was dressing as Santa for her holiday work party. He had just gotten the text the night before from his buddy at the company asking if he'd be willing to volunteer and of course he agreed. Almost immediately he'd made up his mind to keep the secret and surprise Diane with a reveal later on in the night. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when he'd pull down his beard mid-photo to reveal he'd come to celebrate all of her year's hard work with her. She'd already left an hour and a half prior, so the party was wrapping up and it was almost time for Ted's cue. He took one last look at the final product and laughed to himself lightly. 'Well, I guess you either die believing in Santa Claus, or live long enough to see yourself become him.' And with that, he was out the door and making his way down the limestone driveway out front. His Dodge Ram would have to be a sufficient sleigh tonight. All down the highway the radio blared festive tunes and Ted whistled and hummed along, bringing himself into the holiday spirit any good Santa Claus should have. The drive to Diane's firm seemed like mere minutes but as soon as Ted stepped through the foyer and saw Diane, time slowed to a stop. Not just because he had seen her, but because of how he had seen her. Cuddled up under the arm of Drew Sphinx. Her boss. Ted's heart couldn't help but drop to his stomach. Every ounce of excitement to surprise his wife was instantly replaced with so many feelings he couldn't quite place which was strongest. Rage... confusion... maybe even jealousy? But Ted was able to definitively identify one of his emotions: embarrassment. There he was, dressed as St. Nick in the presence of his wife's evident affair; there he'd been, actually, just standing in a shocked stare for about four minutes trying to gather any kind of composure to continue into the main event. Luckily for him, after those four agonizing minutes the buddy who'd invited him here in the first place tapped his shoulder from behind, startling him and breaking him out of his miserable trance. "Justin.", was all he said but it's all he needed to say. "Yeah, bud. Why do you think I asked you of all people to volunteer tonight? Di's been getting real cozy with him lately, and I couldn't let it go on behind your back any longer." Ted nodded, "Yeah, well, I think I kind of preferred it behind my back. Right in front of my face is too painful." Justin shrugged lightly and then attempted at cracking a joke. "I mean, technically, it's in front of Santa's face... not yours." Unfortunately, Ted's face spoke the words 'not now' for him, but Justin understood. Ted really didn't understand, though. He didn't understand why or how Diane could do this to him. Had he not given her enough? Had he not made her happy? Did she actually want the head of her law-firm instead of him? Was she even telling the truth all those times she told him his career in extermination was more than good enough to provide for them? He didn't have much time to go over all of the questions swirling about his mind because as soon as the others had noticed Justin wasn't back from the bathroom yet their eyes all turned to the room's entryway, gazing straight upon the two of them still standing in the foyer. A moment of awkward silence attempted to break out, but Justin swiftly saved it with a quick "Look who I found!" and pat on the back to Ted, prompting the most forced "Ho, ho, ho' the room had ever heard. Diane shrilled with joy as she faced Drew and exclaimed, "Oh, I love Santa!" How ironic. "Well, why don't you go ask him what he's bringing you this year, baby?", Drew flirted back. Baby? Ted's stomach twisted into a tight knot and he grew nauseous. The room was spinning and he just couldn't believe what was happening. The woman he loved had been leading him on in a life full of lies. The woman he laid in bed with every night, was somehow finding the time and indecency to also lay in bed with another man. The betrayal stung deep and the disgust ran rampant within him. How many times had he touched a body that had already been serviced behind his back? How many days did she spend under Drew's arm while also keeping Ted under her thumb? How many cakes had she had and eaten too? There were so many questions, but this was also not an appropriate place for those questions to be asked. The next fifty-three minutes of conversation with random members of the firm were a blurry haze, but one thing that Ted could diagnose as happening was the growth of his rage by the second. Every glimpse of his wife and her boss that he caught destroyed him, and he knew he wouldn't be taking her back after tonight no matter what she had to say. He didn't want to hear it. It was 10:00 pm and he'd come here to surprise her, yet instead he'd gotten the biggest and worst surprise he could have upon walking through that breezeway. And now, Diane was the one doing the walking. Walking up to him, that is, still completely unaware that he was indeed her heartbroken husband. It was her turn for the $3 photo-op with Santa and he grew more and more nauseous the closer to him she got. Her energy didn't feel like anything familiar anymore. Ted had to accept that he didn't know her how he'd thought he did and that things would never be the same, though now he was questioning everything they'd ever been through together anyway. Suddenly nothing about Diane felt genuine and it crushed Ted to feel himself dread her nearing him. They'd slept together just last night, and now they'd never be going to the same home together again. Diane was now standing with only a few inches between them, and she closed the gap further by pulling his red velvet suit into a hug. "Hi, Santa!", she smiled a toothy grin and though an hour ago he'd loved to see her smile he now couldn't help but think there was something grimy about it. Ted didn't even recognize the woman she was presenting herself as in front of him and immediately felt anxiety about how she'd always presumably acted when he wasn't around. He just tried to smile back. "Sooooo...", she trailed off to turn around and look at Drew, who was still sat across the room at the table they'd chosen to enjoy their appetizers, "what are you bringing me this year?" There was a slight smirk on her face, like she halfway expected this Santa to retort back with a naughty answer. Instead, Ted completely stepped out of his comfort zone and shocked himself, as well as the rest of the room, Drew, and most certainly Diane. Ted gathered every ounce of confidence still left inside him, pulled down the itchy white beard, removed his Santa hat, then announced in a boisterous and jolly voice: "Divorce papers."