text: “We’re running out of time,” he said, yanking my arm harder, “come on.” An hour earlier... My breath quickened as I started to wake. The air was stale and tight. My eyes only saw darkness due to the black handkerchief tied tightly around my head. Thoughts were running through my mind like a train that had just hopped off the tracks, but I attempted to focus on the outside noises. I flinched as the van sped, hitting a bump causing me to flop, slamming my tailbone into the cold metal. Wincing as I resituated, I listened. I could only hear soft traffic sounds in the far distance, making me think I was being driven out to the countryside. I took a deep breath and whispered, “hello.” I cringed at the silence. I had guessed I was alone on this ride, but I was hoping to hear a small voice hiding in another corner. My hands started to ache from the cold, hardening the plastic zip ties around my wrists. I kept rubbing them together, trying to gain relief or loosen the connection, but it’s been unsuccessful. Pushing my back against the van wall caused me to shiver. I was indeed developing ghastly wet pit stains under my arms due to the oozing sweat leaking from my body. I never realized someone could sweat so much in subzero temperatures. My joints even stiffened from the chilled air. I huffed as I thought about the stupid outfit choice I had decided to wear tonight. I leaned my head back into the van wall as tears filled my eyes. What is happening? It had just gotten dark, and my two girlfriends arrived on time to pick me up for a night on the town. We had a plan to visit this new nightclub that was only five blocks away from my apartment. I can be a bit modest, so my original outfit fit my personality. Jenni insisted I change as she rummaged through my closet recklessly. I absolutely hated the dress she and Nikki decided on, but to be more “fun,” as they put it, I pulled it on with internal sadness. Another chill ran through my spine as my naked knee scraped against the metal floor as the van jutted forward. Awkwardly twisting my tied hands over my body, I tried to yank the hem of the dress further below my butt, but I was ineffective. The heat of my breath filled my nose as I struggled again to free myself. Why? Why am I here? The van abruptly stopped, causing my elbow to wedge into some crease sending severe pain radiating into my shoulder. The silence was damning. I strained to hear something, anything. A few moments passed, and I heard a door slam producing a sway into the belly of the van. My mind raced again. What could I do? If the doors open, should I run, should I stay still, should I start shouting for help? Tiny droplets of light beaded through the handkerchief as I heard the back door creak open. My body shook from the rush of iced air filling the space as the door must be now wide open. “You, okay?” I didn’t respond to the man’s voice. It sounded like a man. His body spray infused around me, singeing the tiny hairs in my nose. It was shadowy and pine-like. It reminded me of the scent my brother used during his senior year of high school. “Miss?” He said again. I found myself stuck in place, frozen in time. As much as I wanted to say something, my mouth had locked in fear. “What do you want me to do?” He yelled. I could only hear a faint response. Unable to understand what the person in the distance said, I leaned forward as far as possible without being obvious. Drilling my knee into the head of a metal screw on the base, I grimaced to keep my position. I unintentionally started to shake from the chill that now consumed the van. Trying to focus, I sucked in the cold air. It burned as it hit the back of my throat. I pulled my knees closer to my chest, keeping my ankles tightly together--this stupid, stupid dress. My mind was so blurry from the evening. Even though my eyes were covered, I forcefully closed them, attempting to remember anything before I knew this person, this energy I felt in front of me would rip me out of here. I pushed back into the wall tightly as I felt it starting to move. Someone was getting in. “Hello,” I squeakily whispered. “Ah, she speaks,” the man laughed, “we’re here,” he said, shuffling around. I could feel the van rocking back and forth. My heart sunk. In these few moments, I had grown accustomed to this van. I didn’t want to leave it. His body spray was still as heavy as ever as he got closer in proximity, but with him no longer blocking the doorway, I wafted smells of nature and ice. I tried hard to stop shaking, but the temperature combined with my fear wasn’t helping. Realizing I hadn’t said anything other than hello, I racked my brain for something else to say. “Where’s here?” I shouted, sucking in the air. I was unsure why I yelled that, but I couldn’t understand anything right now. Scared that there was no response from the man, I muttered, “are you there?” “Yes,” he said, “I heard you.” Taken back that he was unwilling to answer my question, I shook more. It was becoming more and more uncontrollable. Although it hurt, I pushed my back harder into the wall behind me. My legs were not bound together. I could make a run for it, but I don’t think I’d get far in this dress, with my eyes covered and my wrists tied. I hardened as I felt a hand touch the bare skin on my right upper arm. “It’s okay,” he whispered with a small laugh, “are you able to stand? We have a short walk.” “Where are we going?” I crackled. “Can’t say yet,” he said. I could feel it coming as my lower lip trembled involuntarily. A breath escaped hard, and the smell of body spray and my angst made me sick. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said, placing now both of his hands on me. “It’s okay, and you don’t have to be scared. You’ll see. Deep breath, okay.” I was unable to respond, “I told them this was a bad idea,” he muttered under his breath. “Told who?” I shouted. I didn’t even know where that came from. “Come on,” he said, pulling on my shoulders, attempting to make me stand, but I couldn’t as much as I wanted to. I had been in this position for so long that my body ached at the idea of moving. I was glued to the van. He pulled again, thinking I was unwilling to work with him, and it hurt slightly. “I’m trying,” I said shakily, not wanting him to yank me again and holding back a sob, “it’s cold, and I’m sore.” “No problem,” he said. I felt his hands move to my ankles. Slowly he pulled my feet from under my behind, straightening my legs. I cringed as my knee scraped against the screw head as it crossed, wedging my dress further up my thigh. “Sorry,” he said coolly. “It’s okay,” I said, calming down. He seemed nice, or perhaps I had already started to feel what they call Stockholm syndrome. I started shaking. Vomit felt like it was at the base of my throat. “You’ll need to scoot forward to get out,” he said. His voice interrupted the shock that began to fill my soul. I bent my knees slightly. I can do this. I’ll run. My legs did feel better. Sliding my butt forward, I reached my feet as far as possible, and my toes hit the open door’s breeze. Now realizing where the edge was, I scooted until I was dangling from the edge of the entrance. The rush of excitement filled me at the possibility of escape, and the cold was beginning to feel more welcoming. Without thinking, I slid off the edge with my newfound confidence, touching my feet to the ground. As I straightened my stilettos and found my footing, I felt this independence for a few seconds. I crossed my arms over my body and tugged the dress down. The air around me was unambiguous, but I picked up this new scent once outside. Something musty and stagnant. It was thick and sweaty. I scrunched my nose, “what is that?” I said. “You’ll see,” I heard quickly. I stumbled as he pulled my tethered wrists forward. “Whoa,” I said, “could you at least remove the eye cover.” “I can’t,” he said sternly, “come on.” Digging my heels into the ground again, I could feel wet snow pushing through the straps of my shoes, soaking my bare skin. I took a step forward, but the now melted snow accumulated between the inner sole and my foot, causing me to slip. An unexpected sob was creeping into my psyche. I stuttered a few breaths trying to keep pace with whoever this man was dragging me ahead. I couldn’t understand why that new smell was so pungent, but I couldn’t hear a thing--only our crunching footsteps and breath. Every few moments, I noticed the sound of a car far off in the distance. I sighed low. I hoped Jenni and Nikki were okay. After I’d changed this evening, we had a few shots of green apple vodka at my house. It had been in my freezer for eleven and a half months. It was one of the only things my ex left behind. That’s why Jenni and Nikki had shown up tonight. Stacy had left so abruptly. We were together for two years. We had a cat, an apartment, and a life together. I came home after work one day, and she was gone. A solo letter sat on the table. I repeatedly read my name on the cover until I had the nerve to open it. Long story short, she apologized, said she had found someone else, and took the cat--the vodka as a consolation prize. Present “We’re running out of time,” he said, yanking my arm harder, “come on.” I stopped walking and jerked my hands away from him. The air went silent without the crunching of our footsteps, and the smell of sweat was growing stronger. “Sir, I need to know what is happening. I’m freezing, my feet hurt, and I don’t want to do this anymore,” I said, straightening my stance and pulling my dress down again. There was nothing but silence. It felt darker outside, too, because no glimpse of light was coming through the handkerchief. My once strong stance was already starting to crumble. That may have been a bad idea. My ears tingled as crunching footsteps got closer. I yelped as my legs flew up from under me and my head flung back. The body spray hit me in the face as the heat of his chest pushed against my side. “Hey!” I shouted, squirming in his arms as he began to walk, carrying me like a large dog. The crunching of his feet in the snow filled the air again, but this time I could hear the beat of his drumming heart exerting energy. His warm breath hit my cheek with each stride. As much as I hated it, it was a pleasant mint, and I had been so cold. My body started to lose tension as I gave in. Although it hadn’t been that long, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to give in, but I conceded, resting my tied hands on my crunched lap. My body bounced up and down with each step he took. Now, I was beginning to wonder what this man looked like. His arms felt big and muscular. They were tightly wrapped around my back and under my legs. He hadn’t been aggressive. Although forceful, his touch has been light. He had some plush jacket on because I could feel the waterproof material touching parts of my skin. It had to be unzipped because his inner shirt had been dragging against his chest, moving with my body on every step. His upper body felt chiseled. Ugh, I stopped myself, sucking in another breath of body spray. Squeezing my eyes closed under my handkerchief guard, I listened to the man’s breathing and heavy footsteps. After the vodka shots, Jenni, Nikki, and I left my apartment. A slight headache developed the more I thought about the shots. I remember locking the door behind me. The street was busy. We’d walked about a block when Nikki wanted to run into the convenience store that was lit up like a Christmas tree for gum. I remember watching her at the counter paying. My head jutted forward, and my legs swung against the air as the man squeezed his arms tighter around me, pushing a gasp of air from my chest. “Sorry,” he said, “missed a step.” He lifted me slightly to resituate his hold, pulling me in closer, but I noticed another sound this time. Instead of focusing on the crunching snow, I searched for the soft noise. I listened closely to the tiny thumps of a beat. This man’s breath was interrupting my attention, but it was nearby. “We’re almost there,” he said, stopping, “sorry, the van broke down back there.” My breath caught as I thought about what he said. I didn’t understand. The smell of sweat grew more robust as he started to walk again, and I was beginning to hear the music noise more clearly. “What’s going on?” I said. “See for yourself,” he said, slowly lowering my feet to the ground. My legs felt rigid again, and I was so cold. I shivered as my toes slid further into the straps of my stilettos. The man placed his hand on either side of me, helping me to steady myself. The beat of the music was louder, and tiny glints of light were peering through the handkerchief. I could see an outline of a door in front of me. His hands began to move from my side up to my head. He yanked the tie of the handkerchief. “Ow,” I yelped. “Sorry,” he said, moving slower to loosen it. It fell from my eyes, finally allowing me to see the world around me. A large metal door was in front of me, glistening from the one pendant light above it. The thumping music was rumbling through the creases of the door, and the smell of people was noticeably spicy. The building was large and industrial. On the right was a large parking lot packed with vehicles. I scrunched my nose in confusion, turning around to see my captor. There he was, a tall, well-built man. He reached his hand out to me, “Taylor,” he said. I just stared at him. He had a buzzed head of hair and crispy brown eyes. His smile widened at my examination. “Oh,” he said, reaching into his pocket. I shuddered, thinking this might be it. The end of the line. He tilted his head, questioning my reaction, and smirked, pulling a pair of scissors from his pocket. He motioned for me to lift my hands. I did and watched as he snipped my wrists free. “Gia,” I said, slightly stunned while rubbing my wrists. “Sorry about all this, Gia, but Jenni and Nikki swore me to secrecy. I’m still not supposed to say anything. I’m to coerce you into the door behind you.” I looked beyond his head and saw nothing but woods and snow. No lights, no highway, no nothing. He turned around, following my eyes, raising his hand to point. “The van is back there. Again, I’m super sorry. It literally just broke down. It’s my cousin’s, so who knows,” he shrugged. I furrowed my brow and stared at him. I was still so lost in all this. “I’ll make it up to you in there. I promise,” he said, smirking, grabbing my attention, and motioning to the door. Deciding I had no choice and was desperate to get answers. I turned back to the door. I hadn’t noticed before, but there’s no doorknob. Turning back to Taylor... “just push it,” he said in anticipation of my coming question. I sucked in one last breath of countryside, cold, and body spray, leaned forward, and pushed the door significantly. The noise barreled through the opening of the door, straining my ears. I had been so used to the silence it stunned me. The space was dark but vomited laser-colored lights from every corner. It was people on top of people, on top of people dancing, screaming, and drinking. There is a bar straight ahead. I saw two men spinning and dancing in a lit disco cage to my right. My mouth unintentionally dropped open as I turned around to find Taylor. “SURPRISE!” I stumbled backward from the tremored scream of two women. My eyes focused, and with my mouth still hanging open, my brain registered them, Nikki and Jenni. “Gia! You needed this!” Nikki said, grabbing my arm. “Let’s get you a drink,” Jenni said, meeting at my opposing side, “we heard you had some car trouble. Did we get you? Were you so scared?” Still unable to answer, I let them drag me to the bar, and waiting was Taylor, with four bright blue shots. “Death to green apple!” He shouted.