text: The Dark Lord Helshep was in a council meeting as they were laying out the plans for the next phases of his subjugation of the Stolen Hills region. “My Lord, I suggest we launch a full-force strike here and here,” he said, pointing to points on the map. “Yuu, will this work?” Helshep asked, turning to his oldest friend. She shook her head. “No, the Hills are a veritable fortress. Even Alex will have issues taking them by sheer force,” she explained. Vestari, however, looked offended. “You will refer to Master as My Lord or Lord Helshep. None of this given name stuff,” he snarled. “Oh yeah, tell me who has known him longer? Huh, you big dork,” she said as she squared up against him. “ENOUGH YOU ARE BEING DISRESPECTFUL TO THE BOSS!!” a voice boomed from Silvers Greyback. Both looked suitably admonished. “We can shelve the strategy for later. No need to rush this. I’ve got an idea brewing I think could help regardless, and a bit of time to smooth things out could help,” Helshep said before turning to Serena. “Tell me, Serena, what news on the Heroes party?” he asked. The entire chamber went silent. Few knew what he really was asking about. “Our scouts that we have keeping an eye on them report they have defeated a troll mountain,” she answered. “Just a mountain troll?” one of the officers scoffed. “No General, a Troll Mountain. As in a troll that has grown to the size of a mountain,” she clarified. The General went very pale at the idea. “Where was it?” another asked. “The Dune Sea, apparently it was hidden under a massive set of dunes and recently awoke. The Heroes party swooped in and won the fight by blowing it to dust,” she explained. “What of their Mage... Alice, I believe her name was? She seems like someone who could become a serious threat. Should we not have her eliminated?” another general asked. The room’s temperature dropped by a few degrees as those who knew could only watch the man walking on ice that was creaking. “No, I find her rather entertaining. She shall be left alone,” Helsheps voice echoed around the chamber. A voice that was devoid of all emotion. “I think we should take a break. We sinful lords and close confidants of Lord Helshep can have a friendly chat in private,” Yuu suggested trying to save the general from himself. The room gave a few nods, and the majority left. Leaving only Yuu, the Sinful Lords, Helshep himself with only Heek, the beastling servant, as the only other one present. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop a few rooms over. Yuu looked around and just sighed. “Looks like I’ve got to be the one,” she said, turning to Helshep. “Go on, Alex, get it out your system,” she said, giving a vague gesture in his direction. Helshep looked around the room. His face that was a mask of stern stone reflecting a harsh and brutal life he had lived since he first rose to the throne. At Yuu’s prompting, this mask vanished and was replaced by a man beaming with pride. “Oh, my Gods Yuu!!! She fought a Troll Mountain!!!!!” he yelled with unrestrained joy as he picked up his best friend in a mammoth bearhug before spinning her around. “Bet she’s gotten even stronger,” he was now bouncing like a child the night before Winters Gifting. Putting Yuu down, he rushed over to a wall and moved the curtain against it out the way. It was a map of the world with notes on each of the Heroes party’s exploits. If anyone else saw this, they’d just think he was keeping track of a genuine threat. But the people in this room all knew he was just a dumb doting dad. “That makes this her seventh disaster class monster to date!” he said, pinning a new note to the map. “Actually, boss, that'll be her eighth. They apparently fought an elder dragon as they were sailing over to the Dune Sea,” Heek said. “Why wasn’t this reported?!” he boomed, turning to face the room. “Well, sir, it was a private sailing ship they bought themselves. Also, I only received word of it this morning through our messenger system. I was going to pass it to you later,” Heek explained. “Even better!!” he beamed, adding an extra pin into the Straight of Balthazar. “Master, I hope when the day comes where you will stand on opposite sides, you will take the good of the nation into consideration,” Vestari said. “Huh?” Helshep uttered, confused. “Sorry I wasn’t listening. What was that Vestari?” he said, turning and actually paying attention to his Vizier. “I said will you fight her if you have to?” he asked. “Of course, I will. She is my pride and joy. But she still needs to learn which opponents she should face. I won’t kill her, just a friendly parental beat down,” he said. The crowd were visibly reassured. They often worried about him when it came to his family. As in regards to both his adopted children and his children by blood, he often lost all sense of logic and became an uncontrollable storm. “You know, looking back when I first met her, I knew she had to be your kid Boss,” Silvers said. “Oh?” Helshep said, turning suspiciously towards him. “Yes, Boss, I didn’t think meeting a fifteen-year-old would make me near wet my breeches. Let alone the daft girl turned a useless pebble into pure gold,” he explained. “She did what?!” Helshep beamed as he rushed to stick a pin into Port Staine. “Hopefully, that party will get some common sense drummed into her head,” Yuu muttered. “Doubtful, I’m sorry to say she and Sir Victor are more than likely corrupting the Heroes common sense,” Heek said knowingly. “Well, those that can rise to the top of this world are often those who never really understood that normal crap,” Yuu said, sidling up to Helshep. “Indeed, we blew ourselves up quite a bit back then,” Helshep said, reminiscing with her. While they were lost in their revelry, a knock came at the door. The officers had returned from their break and were ready to resume. “Hey Alex, get your face back on,” Yuu said, jabbing his ribs with her elbow. His face returned to his stern political stone-faced shape with a few slaps. “Enter!” his voice boomed, returning to its emotionless state. The generals shuffled in and around the table. “Ok, I have a plan, and it is inspired by how the heroes beat the Troll Mountain,” he said, letting a sinister grin show. &#x200B; for more my nonsense go to r/Random3X &#x200B; extra note: this was originally a response to a WP that was removed thought let people here enjoy it.