text: Slowly I awake, the ocean waves lapping against my calves gently bringing me to a disoriented state of consciousness. Why I’m at this beach is an idea my mind cannot discern. All I can focus on is the pull of each wave calling me. I look behind me to see a man beckoning me far from the shore, an eerie familiarity surrounding him. Water crashes hard against my legs capturing my attention once again. The melodic beating coaxes me to come closer and closer. I step forward. Sand gives way to the weight of my step as the receding waves fight against me. The pull becomes hypnotic, compelling my feet to follow as each crest recedes. With every step a low drumming grows around me, each pause filled with the man’s sudden calls for my attention. I step forward. Once more the pounding grows louder, and a heavy weight grows inside me. The water just above my waist now, the pull getting harder to resist. I must resist. Looking out at the sea, the weight inside gets heavier and grasps at my throat. Slowly a man’s face appears in the deep blue. The pleas of the man behind gain in urgency. I recognize his voice; it belongs to me. I step forward. I acquiesce to the summons of the waves. My body betrays me as it continues forward, submitting to the swaying sea. Soon it will take me. The man’s pleas turn to screams, begging me to come to him. A hand in the water grabs hold of my wrist, belonging to the face below. Although his grip is tight, I’m not afraid; he has the same eerie familiarity as the other man. The heaviness inside me tightening its grip on my throat; the waves grow in intensity. I step forward. The drumming has grown so loud that it leaves a sharp ringing in my ears; barely able to detect the man’s now frantic screams from ashore. The man in front pulls me closer, submerging me with him. I barely keep my feet planted in the sand; the current threatens to pull me forward. In front of me he gestures to come closer. The heaviness inside me closing my throat, trapping what little oxygen I have in my lungs. I step forward. He withdraws back, luring me farther down. Incapable of resisting the pull I continue forward. The waves cause me to sway; I slowly lose my footing. As they recede, I’m drawn farther out to sea. The man pulls me into an embrace. Now clearly visible, I see the man is me. He joins rank with the heaviness inside and they begin to crush me. As they become one and drag me further down, the pain of this unbearable weight causes me to scream out for help. It’s nothing more than a futile attempt and waste of air. I sink further down. The light in the sky is no more than a tint of yellow above me. Water rushes into my throat as my body recklessly attempts to breath in a violent spasm. Burning spreads through my lungs as they’re filled with liquid. I start to numb as a calming isolation sets around me. At least these last moments will be peaceful, despite my body’s thrashing. The ringing in my ears dissipates to a dull ache. A faint yelling barely detectable, as everything fades to black and I drown. Slowly I awake, the ocean waves lapping against my calves gently bringing me to a disoriented state of consciousness.