text: People, it turned out, had gotten God backwards. You learn this when you’re out walking your dog one evening. Your dog is an awesome dog. He’s been your buddy since you were a little kid, seeing you through good times and bad. You love him very much. You watch him sniff at a clump of leaves floating in a puddle for a while as you think of this. Then, you hear something high up in the air, like a plane but louder. A lot louder. You realize that it’s trumpets. Before you can even wonder why you’re hearing trumpets all of the sudden, a bright light fills the sky, turning night to day. Finally, the clouds part, revealing a giant dog in the sky with a brilliant halo between its floppy years. You drop your dog’s leash, but he doesn’t go anywhere. He’s just as stunned as you. The giant dog, accompanied by a chorus of winged dogs singing the most beautiful notes you’ve ever heard, gives a single bark. It echoes through the entire Earth, and you feel it practically in your bones. And then your own dog is singing along with the celestial pack, actually and genuinely singing! The most you’ve ever gotten your dog to do is stay for a few seconds, but there he is now, singing in a language you don’t understand but seems to be mostly howls and whines in a gorgeous arrangement. The song ends and your dog bows to the sky dog. And now he starts flowing in the air. You try to catch him and bring him back down, but he keeps slipping from your grasp, getting ever and ever higher. You grab onto his leash and feel yourself being pulled up. but then the collar gently loosens and slips from your dog’s neck. You fall roughly to the ground as he floats up and up and up into the sky, which you now realize is full of other dogs. There have to be thousands-no, millions-making their way to the giant sky dog. The sky is alive with yips, yaps, woofs, barks and howls. All you can do is look up and watch the dogs pass, one by one, through a shining gate and dissolve into golden light. You spend several hours doing this, never once getting used to the sight. When the final dog passes through, the trumpets give one last report and fade. The giant dog withdraws back into the clouds. Just as suddenly as it began, it’s over. The following day it was reported that all dogs everywhere in the world have disappeared, floating up into what one can only presume is doggy heaven. Meanwhile, all the humans stayed, well, right where they were. Absolutely nothing happened to them at all. Everyone in the world was left to ponder questions that will never have any answers, at least not for them. Time passes. Humans, while sad, get used to a life without dogs. And then, one evening, the sky opens up once more, and a great white cat appears in the sky.