text: Roman Fuller rises from his seat and walks to the platform in the center of the hall. "My name is Roman, and I've killed 217 zombies." The figure astounds the audience; it is by far the highest reported at the support group. "The majority of the zombies were from Glendale, where I live and work. Just like the last guy, I have to complete the required therapy, participate in this support group, and I don't have to serve any time. It's been difficult; I don't think any of us expected there to be a cure for the zombie virus; I'm hoping this group can change people's perceptions of me I look forward to hearing from others, thank you," Roman says as he steps down from the platform and takes his seat in the crowd. Roman is heading to work through Glendale, a town with roughly 10,000 people, though post-zombie apocalypse, it's more like 8,000. A mother with a young child walks by, throwing Roman the middle finger. An elderly woman rolls down her window simply to shout at Roman, "I hope you get shot in the head." As Roman approaches the counter within a restaurant, the waitress throws him an evil eye and says, "Sorry, we're closed for lunch." "You're a restaurant; lunch is what you do," Roman replied. "Perhaps we're simply closed for individuals who killed my sister," says the waitress as she brings lunch to another table. Roman gets the picture and heads back to his work. As he enters the building, the receptionist greets him, "Oh great, the office jerk made it back alive. Lenny wants to see you," she says. "Thanks," Roman says as he walks through evil stares from everyone in the office. Roman knocks on Lenny's door twice; he's seated at his desk and waves him in. "Hey Roman, you know, the business has been on the mend since the end of the apocalypse," he says nervously as he continues. "I know we said everyone would get their job back, but there's only so much financial burden we can take on right now, so we're going to let you go." "You're firing me?" Roman inquired. "No, no, no, no, no, we're looking to maximize efficiency and performance; it was a tough call, we choose you by a hair," Lenny explains. "So you're terminating me based on my performance? Are you certain it isn't because I murdered your parents?" Roman inquired. "Whaaaaaat? Of course not; that's water under the bridge in my case. This is solely for performance purposes," Lenny expresses. "All right, can I at least pack my belongings?" Roman inquired. "I believe it would be best for everyone in the office if we shipped you your things. Avoid uncomfortable farewells. You know, keep in touch; why did you murder my family? Blah, blah, blah," Lenny says. "Yeah, I guess I get it," Roman admits. No matter what Roman did, he couldn't find work, the residents continued to treat him like a murderer, and he couldn't move because he was required by court order to attend the support group. Roman was resolved to make the best of the situation, attending meetings and conversing with other zombie slayers. "You kill one family's Mimi, and suddenly you're not invited to Christmas dinner," one zombie slayer grumbled. "Just because I stabbed your children through the ears doesn't mean I don't have feelings," said another zombie slayer as he sobbed from the platform. Roman had finally made it to his final required support group. He had big plans to leave Glendale and become a commercial fisherman; he would depart first thing in the morning to begin his new life. As the meeting was coming to a close, Doctor Mejia, Glendale's only doctor, comes rushing into the hall, panicked. "They've returned; they've returned! The zombies have returned and have taken over the entire town; we need your help," the doctor said while narrowly avoiding a zombie onslaught outside the door. "Nah, been there, done that, have the zombies come in, they can have some day-old coffee," a zombie slayer jokes, pointing to the dusty coffee machine on the table. "I secured the doors, but they can only hold for so long," the doctor says as he begins to push chairs and tables in front of the door. "What about the cure, the vaccine?" inquires another zombie slayer. "We've tried everything," the doctor says as he begins to move the coffee machine, napkin holder, and creamer dispenser in front of the door. "What exactly are we doing here? Glendale needs us again, and we're just going to sit back and watch everyone perish?" Roman motivates. "But look what happened last time, we became outcasts," says a zombie slayer. Roman walks onto the platform, "Did we get blamed for killing everyone's loved ones? Sure. Did they seize all of our weapons, making this fight even more difficult? Yeah, they did that. Will we be remembered for saving the town this time? Most likely not. But there are zombies outside that door, and if these support meetings have taught me anything, it's that zombie slayers kill zombies!" Roman says, determined. "Wasn't that the point of the support group?" says the support group counselor gently. Roman rushes up to the end of the hall, picks up an American flag, and snaps the wooden handle in half, creating a zombie-killing spike. "Come on, let's go slaughter some zombies!!" Roman says as he marches towards the door. Roman and the zombie slayers wiped out Glendale's zombie population. By the time they were done, there were almost no zombies left. The waitress from the cafe, dead; Roman's boss Lenny, dead; even the receptionist, dead! Hundreds upon hundreds of zombies were slaughtered by Roman and the zombie slayers. After an epic battle, Roman sits on the steps of city hall, and the doctor approaches him with a vile in his hand. "We altered the vaccine; there's a cure again!" exclaims the doctor. "Is that the cure right there?" Roman inquires. "Yes," the doctor confirms, "it's the only vaccine for miles." Roman shifts his gaze to the left and then to the right. He then stabbed the doctor in the head with the bloodied wooden spike he had obtained from the support group hall. The vile shatters into hundreds of fragments as it falls to the ground. "Oh, no, the doctor dropped the cure," Roman said to himself as he kills a zombie woman who gave him the finger as he walked down the street.