text: “This is it!” He says as he looks at himself in the mirror again for the 100th time. Tonight’s the night. He must look his best. He leaves early and heads down the empty cold road, with the night dropping its curtains across the starry sky. The only light is that of the milk-white moon rising high in space, lighting the path for him. Few people are out by this time, and that suits him. He’s keeping himself to himself anyways. This night he’s been looking forward to the most is also the same night he’s been dreading the most. Life will not be the same after this. Definitely not. The bus stop comes into view as he walks up the hill. He’s all alone. Leaning against the trunk of the dimly lit light post, he didn’t have to wait for long before the bus arrived. He gets on the upper deck, into the back, and sits there. The darkness engulfs the outer view of the windows; the feeble light of the bus slightly flickering; all the windows shut. He’s all alone, again. It’s a long ride, so he reaches for his glittery-cased phone and starts to play some music, no earphones or headphones. He’s all alone. ‘And I wanna cry, and I wanna fall in love...’ He skips the song. ‘Only know you love her when you let her go...’ He skips this song as well. ‘I don’t know who’s gonna kiss you when I’m gone...’ “Fuck, why is everything so sad and too close to home?” Frustrated, he turns it off, rests his head on his palm, and thinks... and thinks... and thinks...Everything starts to playback. Everything. From that first time in that class up until last week in that bust stop. Everything is playing back. He’s all alone. ... “Ahhhhh! I’m gonna be late” She calls out as she looks at the time. It’s 19:26 and she’s still only gotten out of the shower. Luckily, she finds her mother waiting for her in her room, with all the necessities laying on the bed. “Come, quick” her mother orders, “tonight’s your special night. You have to look your best” With her mum’s help, she puts on her subtle yet immaculate makeup; wears her dress; puts on her perfume, the one he got her; and joins her dad in the car, ready to leave. “You excited?” her dad questions her. “Yes!! Of course I am”. “Well I’m glad to hear it.” he answers, “But remember, no drinking, no after-parties, no sex.” “Dad!!!” She exclaims, whilst softly punching him on his arm, and he laughs at that. “I’m only joking honey.” he retorts, ”Just go in there and enjoy yourself as much as possible. You’re gonna miss this, later on, so make the most of your time.” “I know, dad. And I will. It will be the best 3 hours ever!!” “I bet it will be. Also, do you want me to come to pick you up or do you want to take the bus back home with your friends?” “It’ll be very late at night. I’ll call you to come pick me up when we finish.” “Alright then.” Smiling, she stares out of her window and thinks excitedly of what tonight has in store for her. In some way, everything has been building up to this day. Her thoughts are suddenly struck with a concern: How would she be able to say goodbye to him, after everything that happened between them? She starts to panic slightly, but then calms down, and reminds herself that tonight will be the most fun they ever had together. Tonight won’t be a goodbye between them, it’ll only be the end of this chapter and a beginning of a new one. Going forward, they’ll still be together. They promised each other. He promised her. She’s not alone. ... A car comes to a halt at the side of the road. ‘That must be her’ he thinks to himself. And his thought is proven to be right as she climbs out of the vehicle. He stands there for a moment, stunned by her beauty. Her dress is a perfect fit. Her hair reeled obediently to the breeze brushing through the night. Her smooth skin shone under the light of the moon, putting those stars to shame. He clutches the flowers in a fierce grip as it dawned on him that she wouldn’t be there with him anymore after tonight, he wouldn’t be able to look at her again, he wouldn’t be able to feel her again... “Heyyyyy!” she shouts as she launches in his direction. He pushes all those thoughts away and puts a smile on his face. He shouldn’t be thinking of anything right now. They still have 3 hours together, and he should be focused on the moment he’s in and enjoy it. He can’t ruin this. Not for him, not for her. “Heeyy” he replies and holds her in a long, warm embrace. He breaks away from her and looks her up and down. “Wow! You look stunning.” “Thanks” she replies “You don’t look so bad yourself,” she comments with a beaming smile. “You know what? I’ll take that,” he answers. All those bothering feelings and thoughts have been erased from his mind by her presence, for now at least. “Oh! By the way, I didn’t know what colour to pick for the flowers, so I got a bunch of different ones,” he states, handing her the flower bunch. “Awww!” she comments, “You remembered!” “Of course I did.” “And they smell good as well,” she says, as she takes a sniff of their sweet spring scent, “I love them!” “I’m glad you do. Shall we go inside?” “Okay. Let’s go.” And she wraps herself around his arm as they start walking. She’s not alone. He’s not alone anymore. They’re together. ... The resort was a very large tent set up in the middle of a football field, which doesn’t sound appealing, but looks can be deceptive. The inside was very spacious and well lit and with golden bulbs hanging across the ceiling and lighting up the party beneath it. Many small tables were set up across the edge, leaving plenty of open space in the middle for people to hang out and dance. A buffet was also set up at the far edge opposite of the entrance, composed of many delicious and appetising meals, snacks, desserts, and drinks. On the far left was a small stand with the DJ on top, blasting all kinds of music for the guests to enjoy. The organisers of this party have really outdone themselves. After saying hi to friends, they go and claim an empty table on the side where they sat down with their food. They had a pleasant conversation about what each of them had been up to during the week they’d been away from each other. Once finished, they sit there for a while before she suddenly stands up. “Where are you going?” he asks, surprised. She grabs his hand and prompts him to get up with her. “Come. Let’s go dance for a bit.” “But we just ate!” he retorts, but secretly wishing she’d press on further. “Just coooomee! It’ll be fun.” she urges him, and he obediently follows her into the heart of the tent. Battling through the crowd, they finally reach the centre where she turned around, looked him in the eyes and asked: “Have you had your first dance yet?” “No. I haven’t” he replies. “That’s good because I haven’t had my first dance as well.” “Seriously?” he asks, surprised. “Yes. Why are you surprised?” she questions him suspiciously. “Nothing, nothing. But for some reason, I thought you have.” “Yeah, well, I haven’t.” she responds, “Do you want to have your first dance, with me, right now?” She purposely looks at him with pleading and hopeful eyes, and he falls for it almost immediately. “Yes! I would love to” he replies, “But I honestly don’t know how to dance.” he adds embarrassed. “Neither do I” She announces with a laugh, “this should be interesting.” “Come then, let’s do it. I don’t care if we mess up or look stupid, nothing to lose anyway.” He rests his left arm on her waist and locks his right hand with hers. She tenses at first at the feel of his touch, but she soon relaxes and rests her free arm on his shoulder. He looks down and meets her sparkling light brown eyes and smiles, before starting to sway slowly with the soothing music playing into their eyes. They stumble a few times at first, but soon grow accustomed to each other’s moves and fall into perfect sync. At that moment, no one else was there with them. Just them two, in a vast empty golden ball, dancing to the music. All of their concerns seemed to vanish, and their minds seemed to be purified by the gentle notes entering their ears. In reality, they were only dancing for minutes. But for them, it felt like hours. They were really in their own place, separated from the harsh reality of this world. Separated from the concerns of what was to happen after tonight’s over. However, that was something for them to worry about later. For now, they were enjoying each other’s company and having fun. She’s not alone. He’s not alone. They’re together. ... Laughing, they walk out into the field, where the darkness of the night has settled. No one is there, other than the two of them. Everyone else is still inside. They’re completely tired and exhausted after their dance, which went better than both could’ve imagined. He stops and lies down on the perfectly trimmed grass, which was more comfortable than it looked, a feather-filled mattress in disguise. She copies him and rests her head on his shoulder, where they fell into a peaceful and meaningful silence that neither wanted to break. He softly starts to brush her hair whilst she just lay there idle, but smiling. Both of them silently wish for time to stop right at that moment and stay like this, comfortable and warm in each other’s embrace and presence, forever. “You know, now that we’re here, I cannot help but recall everything that ever went on between us. All the way from that first time we spoke, up until now.” she suddenly states. “Same.” he agrees, “I remember all of it as well. It’s like it was only yesterday that we met.” “Remember our first ever conversation?” She questions him with a big smile on her face. “Oh my god! How can I forget about the famous bikini contest” And he lets out a laugh. “You must have thought I was weird” “When are you ever NOT weird?” he teases. “Hey! Stop it” she commands with a soft punch on his chest. “Okay, okay. Do you also remember that faithful bus ride, the one that got me my phone taken away TO THIS DAY! All because someone here was scared of getting assaulted” he playfully adds. “I WAS scared!” she retaliates, “And plus, don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it, because I know you secretly did.” “Who said I did? That was the worst bus ride ever.” “Mhm... Keep lying to yourself.” “Okay, I may have enjoyed it a little bit, but only because of that first-ever hug.” “See! I told you.” She exclaims in triumph, “Do you also remember that booster class during the holidays...” They kept on reminiscing and reliving their joint past, the one that brought together and led them to be where they are now, all whilst laughing and smiling and enjoying their time under a perfectly clear London sky. She’s not alone. He’s not alone. They’re together. ... They didn’t know for how long they stayed there, they were too immersed in their own little bubble, and didn’t realise that all their time has passed, until one of the organisers came up and broke the news to them. It dawned on both of them that the dreadful moment they’d been avoiding is coming near. Slowly, they marched their way out into the cold empty street, both in a deafening silence. The whole world seems to have come to a halt, with them as the only two people left in it. They face one another and look deep into each other’s eyes. “So, I guess this is it.” He says, forcing a smile on his face. “Yeah... I guess it is.” She agrees, though in a subtle whisper. It is growing more and more difficult to say goodbye as time passes, none of them has the courage or the will to do it. “Do you want to make it dramatic?” he offers, “Whack me with your purse and walk away stomping, like those high-school romance dramas?” he adds with a laugh. “No, I don’t want to. I just want you to stay with me,” she says, stumbling on a few words. “I want to stay with you as well, but you know that I can’t.” “I know.” She tries really hard to keep them in, but couldn’t, and she launches at him and starts sobbing uncontrollably into his chest, all whilst severely clutching him, never wanting to let go. He holds her in a warm comforting hug and starts soothing her. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry, and he genuinely tried very hard not to, but he soon gave in, and let them stream down his cheeks. They both don’t want to let go, and so they stay in each other’s arms like this for a long while. “Well, now you just ruined my suit.” he jokingly scolds as he pulls her away from him. She looks up at him, her eyes sparkling with all the tears welled up, and starts to laugh. Softly, he wipes away her tears and starts laughing as well in a light-hearted manner. “I don’t know why we’re crying.” she comments thoughtfully, “We’re still gonna be talking as we do. The only difference being is that we won’t see each other.” “Exactly. You just love the drama” “Shush. You’re acting like you didn’t cry as well” she retorts “Okay, good point.” She nods her head approvingly with triumph written all across her face. He smiles at her, but his mind is racing right now. He doesn’t know whether he should tell her or not, about what was to happen after tonight’s over. He urges himself to do it, but she’s too happy and content that he doesn’t want to ruin it for her. “Helloooo. You still here?” she snaps at him. “Oh sorry. Yes, I’m still here.” “Ok good.” They stay silent for a while, both not wanting it to end right now, wanting to drag the conversation longer and longer. “You know, there’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time now, but never had the chance,” he states “What is it?” she asks, hopeful. He brushes the strands of hair blocking her face to the side and tenderly caresses her delicate skin, then he gently presses his lips against hers. They hold it for a very long time, both comfortable and familiar in each other’s arms before they break away again. With them smiling at each other, she exclaims: “Well, it took you long enough to do it! I just about thought you’d never.” “It’s all because of your flipping mask! There were so many occasions where I wanted to, but that mask you’re obsessed with came as an obstacle. But hey, I still did it in the end.” She tries to argue with him but fails to. Instead, she just drops a peck on his cheek. “There. I did it as well. So you can’t say It was only you.” she admits. “You don’t understand how happy I am right now” “So am I!!!” And they fall into a meaningful silence again. They both know that this is it, no more stalling. They have to say their goodbyes now. “Well, I guess this moment has come after all,” he says “Yeah, I know,” she adds, although almost inaudible. “I love you so much, and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done to make me this happy, because I know I can be a pain sometimes, but you managed to put up with me no matter what. I’m also sorry if I ever did something wrong or hurt your feelings in any way, but trust me, that was never my intention. I love you so much. “I love you too, and thank you for always being there for me from the start and ‘beliebing’ in me no matter what. I’m sorry as well if I’ve done anything wrong towards or... will do anything that upsets you. Just know that if anything like that ever happens, it’s not cause I got bored of you or don’t want to talk to you or just want to hurt your feelings. It’s just because I’m forced to and it’ll be better for you. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I know you’ll never do anything like that.” He decides to ignore that, as he doesn’t want to be lying to her any more than he has. “Goodbye” he softly says, “And just remember that I’ll always love you no matter what” “I know you do, and I love you as well.” she trips on a few of her words, “Goodbye!” They kiss only for the second, yet last time ever. They look deeply into each other’s eyes for one last time, before both went in their opposite way, not once looking back. She’s not alone. He’s all alone. They’re not together. ... A car comes and stops for her to climb in, before starting to move again. “How was it?” her dad asks. “It was amazing!! The best 3 hours of my life,” she says with a big smile spread across her face. “I’m glad to hear it. I also like flowers. Whoever got them must have a really good taste.” “He does have a good taste, and I love them.” “He??” her dad exclaims, “Now I want to hear everything about him. This should be interesting, cause I never thought any boy would come close to putting up with your attitude,” he adds with a proud smile. “Stop it!” She snaps, but smiling, “You’re not funny. And he DID in fact put up with my attitude. I’ll tell you everything afterwards.” “Alright, honey. Whatever suits you.” She doesn’t cry anymore. No reason to. She’s happy they enjoyed each other’s presence tonight and got to spend all that time together. Smiling, she stares out of her window and relives what went on today. This wasn’t the end, she thinks to herself, and that wasn’t a goodbye. That was only the end of this chapter and a beginning of a new one between them. Going forward, they’ll still be together. They promised each other. He promised her. She’s unaware. She thinks she’s not alone. She thinks they’re still together. She’s all alone. ... The bus stop comes into view as he walks up the hill. He’s all alone. Leaning against the trunk of the dimly lit light post, he didn’t have to wait for long before the bus arrived. He gets on the upper deck, into the back, and sits there. The darkness engulfs the outer view of the windows; the feeble light of the bus slightly flickering; all the windows shut. He’s all alone, again. He takes out his glittery-cased phone and starts to do what he has to do. “I’m sorry.” he whispers to no one. He deletes her phone number. He blocks her on all forms of social media. He unfriends her and unfollows her. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers again. “It’s not because I hate you, or got bored of you, or don’t want to talk to you anymore, or any of these things you’re gonna think of when you realise. It’s because I don’t want to hold you back. I don’t want you to be still clinging to a faint slim hope for so long. You deserve better. You will find better. I’m worse off without you, and you’re better off without me. It had to be done. You’re gonna hate me, a lot. But it’s better that you do and forget about me, than to cling on to something not guaranteed. I’m so sorry. I love you.” He reaches for his phone again, all whilst crying uncontrollably, and starts to play some music, no earphones or headphones. He’s all alone. ‘And I wanna cry, and I wanna fall in love...’ He doesn’t skip this time. He lets it play. He rests his head on his palm, looks out of the window, and thinks... and thinks... and thinks...Everything starts to playback. Everything. From that first time in that class up until that final kiss tonight. Everything is playing back. They’re not together anymore. He’s all alone. ...