text: The fluorescent lights paired with the stale recycled air grated my senses, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. The room was too white, too sterile. “My brother was a good man.” I stared into the large mirror, refusing to meet to the unmoving gaze of the woman in front of me. “It’s hard to believe it happened. Yet here I am, so it must be real.” *David.* As boys, my brother and I would often fight. David was always jealous of me. It wasn’t a rare occurrence for us to be compared, and I’d be lying if I said Mom and Dad didn’t favor me over my brother. David was prone to violence and theft, even going as far as stealing my blue hat and impersonating me. Like I said, David was a jealous boy. *Why did you do it?* It’s true my brother had issues, but nobody saw it coming. Were our parents at fault? No. Admittedly our parents weren’t the best, but I don’t think that’s it. David must have always been like that. We just couldn’t see it. *It’s all your fault.* I should have been a better brother. Like the time I left him out in the back and he didn’t find his way back until almost midnight. Or that time I let Mom and Dad name him for losing our dog, when I was the one who left the door open. If I had, maybe things would have gone differently. Would they have still been alive? Why even ask; I know they would. I wish I could change things, but it’s too late now. *Why couldn’t it have been me?* I still remember that night. It was Thanksgiving. My brother and I came home for the holidays. Despite being far too old, mother forced us to wear those horrid matching sweaters. Maybe it’s a twin thing? *It should have been me.* My parents retired to bed early and I was upstairs when it happened. I was immersed in a book so I didn’t see or hear it, but I’ve seen the police report. Between the two of them, mother and father were stabbed thirty-seven times. I never saw it coming. David was never able to beat him, that’s why I’m alive. I’m the only one now, I’m number one. This is what it must feel like to be a winner. *David*. I’m number one. Brother, I wish you could see me now, but your sacrifice is why I’m where I am now. I’m finally a winner. I’m better than you. See how they all look at me. There’s your proof. “David, it’s time now.” The woman stepped forward and the faces behind the mirror watched. I turned and met her gaze. “I’ve won, I’ve finally won.” She only nodded her head as I felt a prick on my arm. As the icy cold raced through my veins, my muscles sagged and my eyes closed. I dreamt of white. *I’ve won.