text: “It’ll only hurt for a second. Really! See that picture?” I turned to look and said “Where?” That’s when the nurse jabbed me. “Oowww” was the only thing I could think to say. But her skilled hands made the procedure so quick that it really didn’t hurt at all. I instinctively went to rub my arm and she stopped me. “First things first” she said with an accent that could only come from the West Indies, and she had a small bandage over the puncture. Then she sat back in the examination chair, crossed her arms and looked at me with an expression of haughtiness. “I told you it wouldn’t hurt.” “You said it would hurt for a second.” She turned her eyes to the side in thought. “Oh yeah, I did. Oh well, it still didn’t hurt, right?” I had to admit, it didn’t hurt at all. But I wouldn’t tell her that, especially as she made my twenty five years seem old next to her. I just rubbed my arm and pouted. Nurse Cahill had rolled her chair to the counter where my record lay. She picked it up and opened it. “Ok Mr. Nunce, you’re done here” she said as she made a few notes. “Oh, uh, ok. Ummm, yeah, see you next time I guess.” “Oh, no, this is the only shot you need. You’re completely done.” Her lilting voice coming out of a face that looks more like she just got out of school than been through med school did not sit well, but she was the nurse. “Ok, then thanks.” I stood up a little too quickly and became dizzy. I reached for something to hold on to when the nurse reached for me. “Careful Mr. Nunce. The shot can make you dizzy. Sit down for a second, please.” “Yeah, sure” I said as I regained my seat. “I think it was just because I got up too fast. I”ll be alright.” “Even so, I want you to sit in the recovery area for ten minutes. You don’t want to be driving right now. After ten minutes I’ll come check on you and if you’re fine I’ll let you leave, ok?” She felt his forehead and his cheeks while she talked. Such small hands. They were so tender and warm, like a mother’s hands. The look of her made her talents as a nurse seem weird, like he was getting this attention from his baby sister. Any minute she’ll say “Look at that” while pointing at his shirt. And when he looks down she’ll flip his nose. “Ok, but then I have to go.” “Why, what’s the rush? You don’t like me?” “I do, I mean I have a date. That’s why I’m here now, to get this over with so that I have plenty of time to get ready.” “Ooooh, ok” she said. “She must be pretty special then. Don’t worry, I’ll have you out of here pretty quick.” She pulled back the curtain hiding us from the rest of the pharmacy and pointed to a few chairs not far from the med-booth. They were against the wall near the pharmacy counter. I got up, slowly this time, and took a few steps. The moment I was out of the booth the curtain closed behind me. All of that motherly attention ended right there and then. I sighed, and made my way to the seats. Sitting down, I realized I was directly next to the condom aisle. Like I needed these ideas in my head right now. Actually, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a few back-ups. Something to think about while I’m sitting here. But I have to be subtle, I guess. After I give Jerry the ring I guess anything could happen. She might decide to jump me right there. With her parents there and everything. I hope the restaurant is ok with that. I had to laugh at that, which got the attention of the clerk and a lady two aisles over who peeked up like a meerkat to see what was happening. “Sorry, I was thinking of a joke” I said to them both. The lady snorted her nose and went back to browsing the antacids. The clerk smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up. I sheepishly looked down at my lap to hide my embarrassment. And I called the nurse weird, while I’m sitting here laughing at myself like a crazy person. It’s time to focus on tonight. Ok, run the checklist. Ring? Check. Reservations? Check. Did I tell my roommates I might be coming home with company? I pulled out my phone and checked the text messages. Wait, who’s Molly, and how’d she get my number? Oh right, this is Chuck’s girlfriend and he needed to use my phone after his died. Why is she still using my number though? That’s the last thing Jerry should see if she gets a hold of my phone. Oh wait, focus, did I? Yes, here it is. Chuck sent me a thumbs up emoji while Peter sent, what is this? Some sort of gif. I clicked on it and heard the sharp snap of a whip. Ughhh, really? He’s still going on about me being whipped. Anyway, they both got the message and..what the...? The sound of the crash was sudden and caught me off-guard. It came from the front, through the front door. I jumped from my seat, not knowing if I should run or take cover. That’s when it hit me, and everything went black... “Hey” Who was that? “Hey”. “You ready?” Huh? Who was this guy? “Ready for what?” “For what’s next.” Of course I was. I was going to propose to my girlfriend. But who was this guy? “Yeah, I just have to take care of something first.” “No wait...” “It’ll only hurt for a second. Really! See that picture?” I turned to look and said “Where?” That’s when the nurse jabbed me. “Oowww” was the only thing I could think to say. But her skilled hands made the procedure so quick that it really didn’t hurt at all. I instinctively went to rub my arm and she stopped me. “First things first” she said with an accent that could only come from the West Indies, and she had a small bandage over the puncture. Then she sat back in the examination chair, crossed her arms and looked at me with an expression of haughtiness. “I told you it wouldn’t hurt.” “You said it would hurt for a second.” She turned her eyes to the side in thought. “Oh yeah, I did. Oh well, it still didn’t hurt, right?” I had to admit, it didn’t hurt at all. But I wouldn’t tell her that, especially as she made my twenty five years seem old next to her. I just rubbed my arm and pouted. Nurse Cahill had rolled her chair to the counter where my record lay. She picked it up and opened it. “Ok Mr. Nunce, you’re done here” she said as she made a few notes. “Oh, uh, ok. Ummm, yeah, see you next time I guess.” “Oh, no, this is the only shot you need. You’re completely done.” Her lilting voice coming out of a face that looks more like she just got out of school than been through med school did not sit well, but she was the nurse. “Ok, then thanks.” I stood up a little too quickly and became dizzy. I reached for something to hold on to when the nurse reached for me. “Careful Mr. Nunce. The shot can make you dizzy. Sit down for a second, please.” “Yeah, sure” I said as I regained my seat. “I think it was just because I got up too fast. I”ll be alright.” “Even so, I want you to sit in the recovery area for ten minutes. You don’t want to be driving right now. After ten minutes I’ll come check on you and if you’re fine I’ll let you leave, ok?” She felt his forehead and his cheeks while she talked. Such small hands. They were so tender and warm, like a mother’s hands. The look of her made her talents as a nurse seem weird, like he was getting this attention from his baby sister. Any minute she’ll say “Look at that” while pointing at his shirt. And when he looks down she’ll flip his nose. “Ok, but then I have to go.” “Why, what’s the rush? You don’t like me?” “I do, I mean I have a date. That’s why I’m here now, to get this over with so that I have plenty of time to get ready.” “Ooooh, ok” she said. “She must be pretty special then. Don’t worry, I’ll have you out of here pretty quick.” She pulled back the curtain hiding us from view and pointed to a few chairs not far from the med-booth. They were against the wall near the pharmacy counter. I got up, slowly this time, and took a few steps. The moment I was out of the booth the curtain closed behind me. All of that motherly attention ended right there and then. I sighed, and made my way to the seats. Sitting down, I realized I was directly next to the condom aisle, again. Like I needed these ideas in my head right now. Actually, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a few back-ups. Something to think about while I’m sitting here. But I have to be subtle, I guess. After I give Jerry the ring I guess anything could happen. She might decide to jump me right there. With her parents right there video taping the whole thing. I gave them a heads up so they know what to expect. I just hope they can keep a secret. I laughed, not really knowing why but the impulse was there. I caught the attention of the clerk and a lady two aisles over who peeked up like a meerkat to see what was happening. “Sorry, I was thinking of something” I said to them both. The lady snorted her nose and went back to browsing the antacids. The clerk smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up. I sheepishly looked down at my lap to hide my embarrassment. And I called the nurse weird, while I’m sitting here laughing at myself like a crazy person. It’s time to focus on tonight. Ok, run the checklist. Ring? Check. Reservations? Check. Did I tell my roommates I might be coming home with company? I pulled out my phone and checked the text messages. Oh look, it’s Molly, Chuck’s girlfriend. Why is she still using my number though? That’s the last thing Jerry should see if she gets a hold of my phone. Oh wait, focus, did I tell them? Yes, here it is. Chuck sent me a thumbs up emoji while Peter sent, what is this?. I heard the sharp snap of a whip when I clicked on his message. Ughhh, really? He’s still going on about me being whipped. Anyway, they both got the message and..what the...? The sound of the crash was sudden and caught me off-guard. It came from the front, through the front door. I jumped from my seat, knowing I should take cover. That’s when it hit me, and everything went black... “You ready now?” That guy again. “Look, I don’t know what you want but I have an important date coming up and I don’t need you bothering me right now, Ok?” “That’s just it. You no longer have that date. You’ve passed.” “Passed what?” “Passed on. No longer part of the world. Moved onto the next plane of existence. Deceased. Dead.” That caught me by surprise. I didn’t feel different, so how could I be dead. “You’re kidding, right? This is just a prank. Wait, where’s the camera?” “It’s not a prank. Sorry.” I thought about that for a second. Something didn’t make sense. And who was this guy? “Ok look, a car lost control and crashed through the front door. DO you remember hearing the crash?” “Uh, yeah.” “The car hit the cosmetics shelves and just happened to send a jar straight at you. I think it was concealer. Anyway, its aim was true, and it smacked you right in the temple.” “Wait, I was on the other side of the store, way in the back.” “I know, right?” “No, not right. I was way in the back!” “A million-to-one shot. It happens.” “No no no, you just wait a minute! I’m supposed to meet my girlfriend later so that I can propose. This can’t happen now!” “Propose, really? Wow, this has got to suck.” “Screw you! I need to take care of something then I’m off.” “No, wait...” “It’ll only hurt for a second. Really! See that picture?” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, just do it. I have to go.” Her skilled hands made the procedure so quick that it really didn’t hurt at all. I instinctively went to rub my arm, but instead said “Oww.” “First things first” she said with an accent that could only come from the West Indies, and she had a small bandage over the puncture. Then she sat back in the examination chair, crossed her arms and looked at me with an expression of haughtiness. “I told you it...” “...wouldn’t hurt, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to go now.” Nurse Cahill had rolled her chair to the counter where my record lay. She picked it up and opened it. “Ok Mr. Nunce, you’re done here” she said as she made a few notes. “Ok, then thanks.” I was about to stand up but stopped. If I did, something would happen that would keep me here. Just play it cool. “Mr. Nunce, I want you to sit in the recovery area for ten minutes. The vaccine can make some people dizzy and I want to make sure you’re ok to drive before I let you go, ok?” Dammit. “Ok, but then I have to go. And it’s not because I don’t like you. I have a date. That’s why I’m here now, to get this over with so that I have plenty of time to get ready. So where are the seats?” “Ooooh, ok” she said. “She must be pretty special then. Don’t worry, I’ll have you out of here pretty quick.” She pulled back the curtain hiding us from view and pointed to a few chairs not far from the med-booth, against the wall near the pharmacy counter. I sat down on one, the same one, and remembered the condoms. Yes, I should definitely get some. There was something I had to do first. Oh yeah, laugh out loud. But what if I didn’t? Would anything change? Would the woman browsing the antacids even notice me? Would I care? I laughed at that and tried to catch myself but it was too late. There’s the snort. Oh, and the thumbs up. Cool, now all that’s left is the check list. Ring? Check. Reservations? Check. Did I tell my roommates I might be coming home with company? I pulled out my phone and checked the text messages. Chuck’s girlfriend, check. Sharp snap of a whip? Check. Wait, what’s about to...? The sound of the crash was sudden and caught me off-guard. It came from the front, through the front door. I jumped from my seat, not knowing if I should run or take cover. That’s when it hit me, and everything went black... “Hey, you’re back!” This guy again. “Can you please stop interrupting my evening. Can’t you see I need to go? All I want is to marry the love of my life but you keep bringing me back here. Is this funny to you?” “No, it isn’t” “Then let me be! I have a future to plan.” “That’s done. You’re dead. I can’t change that.” “But all I have to do is...” “No, don’t do that again!” “But...” “What you’re doing is re-living your final moment. It won’t send you back to her. It’ll just keep repeating and repeating, your own little private hell, and try as you might to change the outcome, it won’t happen. Ever.” This gave me pause. I didn’t want to believe this person, but I couldn’t deny that every time I went back I still wound up here, in the darkness. Futility began to creep it’s way into my consciousness, as did the sadness of loss. I was, we were, going to be so happy. “Jerry...” “She’ll be fine.” “Without me?” The first time the voice paused. At last, It showed that it didn’t know everything. “I’m sorry for your loss, really, honest and truly. But we have to go, or you could get stuck here.” A pause, then “You ok?” With a quieter voice I answered, “No.” “Will you come?” “Yes.” Great. It’s this way.” “Ok.” I sighed, heavily. All the good times I would miss. And Jerry. Who would look after her? “C’mon, it’s this way.” “Ok, just let me take care of something.” “No, wait...”