text: Someone knocked on my door. Actually, knocking is too polite of a term for what that bastard was doing. So I’ll rephrase: some shitheel, pompous, smells-of-piss asshat was hammering on my door, keeping me from my well deserved rest and waking me up at the crack of dawn. “Invester!” they shouted. “Invester, open up!” I rolled over in my cot, cracking open one eyelid that was crusty with sleep. I looked out the window and saw the sun barely peeking over the horizon. “Fuck off, it’s barely light out!” I shouted and rolled back to face the wall. Bastard peasants, no sense of decency. “It’s sunset you prick! Open the fucking door!” I groaned and opened my one eye again to take a second look at the sun. Sure as harpy-pox, the sun was going down, not coming up. “I said, it’s barely light out, not that it’s early. Leave me alone.” I shouted at the door again and lay back down. The barrage of fists against my door was like several cannons going off in sequence. “Invester!” the man shouted, his thin, reedy voice making an excellent harmony with his pounding. I growled and sat up, rubbing my eyes and the bags under them. Wincing with aches and pain from a hard night before, I stumbled across the room to the door, my boots clunking on my floor. I hadn’t bothered to get undressed much after getting in yesterday. Or possibly this morning. With one hand I started performing the necessary gestures to unseal the door and with the other I grabbed my wineskin I kept by the door for just such an emergency. The glyphs on the door unsealed with a light glow and the lock clicked. I whipped the door open quickly to catch my harasser off guard. “What in the Five Hades do you want?” I growled as I twisted the cork of the wineskin with my teeth. He was a fat man, with thick sausage fingers and jowls that quivered when he talked. Kinda short, but I’m not one to talk. He was wearing normal travellers clothes but sporting several large rings and a heavy amulet around his neck with a gem in the middle. His watery eyes did a quick once over of my own regal attire of worn boots, stained shirt, and heavy overcoat. I had somehow managed to remove my pants without taking off my boots last night. “You’re the invester? Leander Norric?” asked the fat man, disbelievingly. “Obviously I am or I would have come to greet you with a heavy cudgel, and I don’t mean this one.” I replied as I scratched my groin through my drawers. I was still trying to wrench the cork out of the flask. “I’ll ask once more and then I’m going back to bed and you can beat your hands bloody for all I care. What. Do. You. Want-aha!” I suddenly freed the cork with a satisfying pop that rang with the promise of sweet nectar. “I need to hire you. Some... *thing* is robbing me blind and if I lose any more of my inventory-”. “Talk to the guards.” I interrupted and gestured to the soldiers on patrol nearby. Their loud clanking armor was doing more damage to my aching head than the battering of my door just a few seconds ago. “They won’t investigate! They said it was supernatural in nature-” sputtered the fat man. “Talk to the church then. Any of them, doesn’t matter which.” I raised the flask to my lips, my parched throat clamoring for wine. “They said it’s ‘not a demonic or malicious entity worthy of exorcism by the church’” pleaded the fat man. “They told me I wasn’t praying enough and that I was being tested.” “The only one being tested here is me.” I said fiercely, lowering my flask to glower at the man. “I don’t work for cheap, if you want to trade a goat for a chore go find a farmers kid to shoo whatever it is you got out with a broom-” “I’ll pay you double your fee if you can come with me, right now, invester.” Interrupted the fat man. I stopped and reconsidered him. He had the look of desperation about him, wringing his hands and shifting his weight. “Double you say?” I asked as I raised my flask again. “Double, but we have to go now and I need this solved immediately.” he confirmed, his many chins wobbling. I squeezed the wineskin but only a couple sour drops of wine dripped onto my tongue, leaving me with an even greater thirst. Disgusted with the traitorous bag, I re-corked it. “Three things.” I said. “Number one, I decide on the price after I see what I’m dealing with. Number two, I can’t promise it’ll be solved ‘immediately’. You might have any number of ghoulish beasties or shit-flinging curses on your shop or you and some of those take time to remove.” “I heard you solved the McTravers problem within a couple hours.” said the fat man, looking unimpressed. “Did you hear that I spent those couple hours moving an enchanted needle a total of three inches because any faster would have killed their damn foolish boy? Did you hear that part? Didn’t think so. We do this *my way*. Which is to say slow and safe.” “Fine, your way. What was the third thing?” “Third, I need my pants. Go fill this-” I shoved my empty wineskin at him. “And I’ll get dressed. Your shop far?” “I have a horse and cart.” “Good.” I slammed my door in his face and turned around. My single room hut was cluttered and messy, the wood stove stone cold and the bed a mess. I sighed and rummaged for my pants, pulling them on. Dressed, I knelt down to open my trunk. My work chest was a handsome piece of furniture, and functional. The carved oak was strong and thick, the steel and silver trim was bright and shiny. I undid the locks, some magical, some with keys. Opening the chest, watching the shelves spring up, I considered what to bring for this job. Hand crossbow, yes, with ammo. Silver daggers, no, wouldn’t be any better than an average knife. Holy water, nah, the church didn’t think it was devilish or demonic. Salt pouch, yes could be all I needed. I packed the gear and an assortment of powders into some of my coat’s pockets and made sure I had my notebook and charcoal in another. The paper in the little notebook was probably worth more than the chest and all its contents so I made sure it was secure in my chest pocket. My knees popped as I stood back up, grunting. I stretched my arms toward the ceiling and felt something in my back slip into place. “Alright.” I muttered. “Let’s go.” I stumped over to the door and whipped it open. My client stood there, the wineskins bulging with promise. “Fast.” I grunted, taking it from him.” “I filled it right over there.” he said, pointing. I followed his fat finger with my eyes and saw him pointing at the well nearby, where people came and went with their containers of water. I opened the bag, took a swig of water to rinse the fuzz out of my mouth and spat. Then I upended the bag, dumping the water into the mud, splattering some passersby who gave me some dirty looks. Dunno why they were so fussed, they were all caked in shit and mud anyway. I probably made them cleaner. “Now take this and get me a proper drink in it. That your cart?” I asked, gesturing with my head. “Yes.” said the fat man shortly. “Good, I’ll be in there. Wake me up when we get there and for fuck’s sake, put some real wine in the bag.” I started off toward the carriage. “You’re a right bastard Norric, you know that?” shouted the fat man. “Yeah, but you’re gonna deal with me all the same, aren’t ye?” I mumbled to myself as I climbed into the cart, sniffing a bit at the smell of horse and oats. I shoved a bag of feed into a corner, sat up against it, and looked at the setting sun. We probably wouldn’t be at my clients residence until after dark if he took a cart to get here. “Fuck.” I mumbled out loud. Everything was meaner at night. Especially people. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. “Oye, wake up.” I was nudged rudely by a booted foot. “We’re here.” I opened my eyes. We were stopped outside a building near the edge of a forest. There were some other homes and stores nearby but this was clearly way out on the edge of the city’s limits. The enterprising individuals who staked a claim out here called it the Wilds.. It was a fitting name. Beasts, bandits, tax collectors, ghouls of all sorts lurked out here. Most communities required a steady immigration their first year out here, just to maintain the population while they sorted out whatever it was that was killing them. Sometimes it was a disease; not surprising given the rough conditions. Other times they called someone like me. I didn’t have an official title for my occupation. Fixer was sometimes used or invester. I don’t like invester though, makes me sound like a stuffy clerk for a bank. But it was short for investigator, as in “Oh wee lad, gon’ up ta hill n’get that *invester* fella\*.\* Something’s gon and killed all ta cows and yer mum and ta neighbours.” Grisly murders. Mysterious disappearances. Strange happenings. Curses. Basically whatever the government and church decided they didn’t think was worth their time or want their hands sullied with, people came to me. I didn’t work cheap but I charged fairly. Seventy gold crowns from the wealthy alderman who didn’t want people to know that his son had been cursed by a jilted lover. Just one crown and bed for the night from the poor village that was being haunted by a ghoul. I dirtied my hands on the regular, often visiting the underbelly of the city to find the answers I was being paid for. This job looked soft though. The village we were in was well lit, regular guards walking in pairs. The shop we had stopped in front of looked fine too; showing no signs of abuse or the advanced decay that cursed buildings often have. “Well? Aren’t you coming?” asked the fat man impatiently. He was already off the cart and unlocking the front door. No magic on his locks, just a single key. That alone told me a lot about what could be wrong with his shop. I grabbed my wineskin and rolled out of the cart, standing in the road, looking up and down the street. No unusual sounds, no menacing mist or presence. Nothing malicious at all really. I took a blessed swig of wine and walked up to the entrance of the shop. My client held it open for me but I didn’t go inside yet. Instead I examined the door frame carefully, checking for glyphs or scratches. Nothing. “Well?” asked the owner again. “What’s your name?” I asked him as I stepped into the shop. Neat little place. Looked like he sold some expensive charms, he had a variety of jewellery on display, with little picture cards in front to explain what each one did. Smart, the illiteracy rate out here was astronomical. “I’m Leod Marshton.” he said, hauntingly. “Purveyor of fine charms and wardens essential for the prepared travellers of the Wilds-” “Yeah, I didn’t ask for your sales pitch.” I said casually as I strolled along the perimeter of the shop. I kept one hand on the handle of my crossbow in the fold of my coat as I walked. Caution when exploring new surroundings has saved my skin more than once. “I take it some inventory has gone missing?” “Yes, some very expensive pieces. I know they weren’t stolen by normal means which is why-” “You hired me, got it. How do you know they weren’t nicked?” I asked him, examining an expensive looking amulet which could apparently detect magic. Probably trash, even if it actually did was the card advertised. I couldn’t sense anything arcane in the shop, which meant his inventory was probably minimally enchanted or not at all. “You got some fine metals here, how’d you know it wasn’t someone in the village?” “I’ll tell you.” said Leod, narrowing his eyes. “Because I’d set down a charm, turn around to grab another and when I turned back, it was gone. Right in front of me. Couldn’t have taken my eyes off of it for more than a second” “Mmhm, happened more than once?” “About twice a week, yes.” “Mhmm”. I finished my sweep of the store and came over to Leod. I squinted at him hard, carefully looking him over top to bottom. Then I stared into his eyes. “What... what are you doing?” he asked me, looking slightly alarmed. “Trying to see if you’re jinxed.” I said, tongue between my teeth. “Jinxed?” Leod asked, patting himself down. “What do you mean jinxed?” “Jinxed. You know. Hexed. Cursed. Bamboozled. I’m trying to see if someone has polluted the sanctity of your mind or body. Got any new scars? Places that itch? Been feeling foggy lately? Sleepless? Too much sleep? Has your appetite gone off? Tripled? How about your sex life, got a constant woody?” “What, I- no!” Leod sputtered. “None of that! I’m fine! Everything is... fine! Why would I be cursed?” I shrugged. “Happens. Someone hexes you when you’re unaware, takes control of your body for a short period of time. You could be blanking out, handing your goods over to someone out the window and regaining your senses once they're gone. It’s not easy but someone who thought your charms were the real deal would be interested in it.” Leod blustered with anger. “I’ll have you know that these charms are endorsed by the Church of the Kloth-” “Of course,” I interrupted. “We can probably rule out robbery. Someone who stole a charm would find out they’re shit once they tried to fence it or use it. Wouldn’t make sense to keep stealing junk.” I finished staring at Leod and looked around the shop again. It was very clean. I checked the floors. Barely any wear. “How long have you been out here?” I asked. “Only a month.” he replied. “I got approved for a Wilds Frontier loan and moved out here. There’s an untapped market for traveller charms on this end of the Wilds. I’ve made several lucrative sales already.” the smug look on his face made me roll my eyes. “Yeah except you probably got a heavy rate on the loan right? Which is why you need to find your thief, eh? Too much stock goes missing and suddenly you’re missing payments.” Leod nodded stiffly. “Well, yes, my profit margin is thin for the first year or so.” I nodded absently. “Piss anyone off in town yet?” Leod swelled with anger again. It made him look like a toad. “I have an excellent relationship with the community! We have to rely on each other this far out of the city!” “So no one has used your charms yet, got it.” I concluded. I wandered back and forth along the shop, letting my feet do the thinking. Humans, like elves, can sense magic, but most of us don’t know how. Because there are so many different kinds of magic, it would be difficult to tell if there’s any at all, let alone what kind. From Leod’s description, it seemed to me that there was something supernatural about. But it didn’t seem manufactured or constructed like a spell. So I wandered, letting my thoughts go blank, keeping myself distracted by pestering Leod with questions. Trying to detect anything at all. I paused in my pacing. This was the third time I had walked past this particular desk, without meaning to. I crouched down and looked under the tables. “Got a basement?” “No.” Leod answered, looking impatient. “You sure? I had a client once who told me he didn’t have a basement. Turned out there was a lich’s laboratory under his floorboards. Poor guy never knew about it. Some real twisted shit down there.” “There isn’t a basement.” Leod said through gritted teeth. “I had the land surveyed by a geomancer.” I stood up again. “Did he give you a report?” “Yes.” “Lemme see it.” Leod walked past me and rummaged through his desk for a moment before pulling out a certificate. “Ah yes, see? Here it is. Signed by a respectable guild from the city, paid in full. A clean sweep of the premise before the land was cleared and my shop went up.” I took the paper from him carefully. He probably paid a hefty sum to have that document done up and I didn’t have the coin to get him a replacement. I scanned the document. He was right, it was a good, thorough scan from a respectable guild. There were two geomancers, actually, and they cross checked each other’s work. I grunted in approval. “Yeah, good, looks like you don’t have any portals nearby or subterranean works or dwellings. That’s a relief, that lab I mentioned was disgusting. Ever seen an eviscerated pepelexa? Fucking gross.” I flipped over the certificate and continued reading. No curses, no wards, nothing about gravesites, no large animals removed from the area, it looked like everything was on the up and up. I was about to hand the paper back when a footnote caught my eye. It was in the additional details left by one of the geomancers. I read it once, then again as I processed it. “Aw shitfire.” I said, annoyed. “What? What is it?” demanded Leod. “Did you read this *all the way through*?” I asked him, handing the paper back. “Of course I did!” Leod huffed. “Then you definitely read the part at the bottom of the additional notes? The part about how one of the magicians experienced seeing several ‘bright and vision-obscuring lights’ when they were clearing out the woods for the lot?” “Well, yes,” sputtered Leod. “But they assured me it was normal! That it happened sometimes when clearing forests! They said it was pixies or something, trying to drive off intruders.” I rubbed my eyes and took a long overdue swig from my flask. “Your store is made from the same wood that was cleared from this land, wasn’t it.” Leod stopped dead. “How could you possibly know that?” he demanded. I smiled. “Because,” I lectured “when you remove the wood cut from an area with magical creatures, it loses its magical properties. That’s why people can get ‘fairy wood’ for cheap and not have any problems. By the way, ‘fairy wood’ is a bullshit term. Fairies and pixies are nothing alike. Anyway the pixies don’t see the wood as home any more and they move on to new territory. You kept the same wood in the same forest so you get to keep the same pixies.” “So I have pixies?” asked Leod, confused. “You have something. ‘Pixie’ is kind of a catchall term for small magical beings with wings. Kind of like how ‘bug’ refers to tiny crawly things.” “Well, what do I have?!” asked Leod, raising his voice. “Shhh.” I put a finger to my lips. “We don’t want to spook it. Dim the lights, let's sit over there by the window. Maybe we’ll get lucky. Anything taken lately?” Leod shook his head and looked worriedly around his store, probably expecting something large and nasty to spring out of the shadows. It always astounds me how little the general populace knows about the land they live on. I pulled a bench out, as far away as we could get from the desk I had walked by repeatedly. After Leod put out all but one of the candles we sat down on the bench together. We waited silently. Time went by very slowly, Leod’s pocket watch ticking loudly. He kept checking it, turning it to the light, fidgeting in place. I sat still and watched the rafters above the desk. If Leod was lucky, I might be able to solve his mystery tonight. If I was right about my hunch though, Leod was going to be mighty unhappy with the outcome. After about thirty minutes of waiting, I saw what I had been waiting for. “There.” I said quietly, not bothering to whisper. Leod started, having been falling asleep the last five minutes. “What? Where? What?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “Keep your voice down. She probably isn’t scared of us but we don’t want to startle her.” I said in a low voice, not blinking. “The rafters.” Leod looked up to the rafters, looking frightened. “Is it dangerous?” he asked in a whisper. “Only to your profits.” I said in the same low voice. I got up and walked quietly and calmly to the desk. From the rafters there was a small, bright mist floating down, almost like a tiny golden cloud. You couldn’t see through it, but it shimmered with movement as it fell slowly towards the desk. I approached the desk slowly and sank down to my knees, getting eye level with the glowing light. Leod followed behind me, shaking with small tremors, trying to look over my shoulder. “Hello, little miss.” I said to the cloud. There was a light puff of air, and a tiny girl’s head poked out of the little cloud. She was as golden as the cloud that held her, with long curly hair and a cherub-like face. Slender glossimer wings were poking out of her back but she kept mostly hidden in her cloud cover. She looked up at me curiously as she shimmered in the darkness of the shop, a slight ringing sound emanating from her glow. “What... what is *that*?” breathed Leod. “*She*,” I correctly gently, not looking away from her “is a flickerwill.” “A what?” snapped Leod. Abruptly the golden light went out, like it had never been there at all. The cabin was bathed in black ink after our eyes had gotten used to the golden light. “Dammit man, keep your voice mellow, don’t fuck this up.” I said in the same amiable tone. “Got a crown on you?” “What?” “A crown, give me a gold crown.” Leod fished his large hand in his pocket and handed me a sweaty gold coin. “Here little miss.” I said, keeping my voice soothing. “Something for you, given freely, not taken. A present.” I placed the coin on the desk and waited. Nothing happened. “What’s happening?” asked Leod in a whisper. “I’m trying to show her we’re not dangerous. Ask her to come out.” “What?” Leod asked in a panicked whisper. “Why me?” “Because this is your shop she’s in, and this is her home you’re in. You should get acquainted.” Leod looked bewildered. I sighed. “Just speak to her calmly, tell her she can have the coin.” Leod opened his mouth, closed it and swallowed, then opened it again. “Little... umm, flickmist” he started. “Flickerwill.” I corrected “Little flickerwill,” Leod began again. “You may, umm... have this gold coin. As a gift.” he finished lamely. I turned to roll my eyes at him again. As I turned, the golden light reappeared behind me. Leod gasped and grabbed at his neck, scrambling for the charm hanging from it. I turned back. The flickerwill was floating a couple of inches off the desk. She had grabbed the coin which was nearly as big as her head and was holding it with both hands; looking quite pleased with herself. She gave us a shy smile and like a candle blowing out, disappeared. “Good.” I said loudly. Leod started, having gotten used to my soft voice. “That’s solved then.” I got up and lit the lanterns in the room, filling it with light once more. “That’s it? That thing is gone then?” asked Leod disbelievingly. “Oh hell no.” I chuckled. “You’re not gonna get rid of her.” “What do you mean I’m not getting rid of her!? I hired you to get rid of her!” “Nope. You hired me to solve this problem and we did just now. Once a week, you’re gonna leave a crown out for her, and say out loud that it is a gift for her. That should stop her from nicking your goods.” Leod looked completely lost so I threw him a bone. “Flickerwills are harmless sprites that covet shiny objects. I’m guessing that this one lived in the forest that you had chopped down and since the wood never left, neither did she. She’s been stealing your stuff when you weren’t looking.” Leod pondered this for a minute then looked cross. “Am I getting my stolen goods back?” “Unlikely. She has no reason to give them back. You won’t find them laying around the shop either. Flickerwills and blink in and out of existence. Whatever she took is gone into the aether.” “When will she leave?” asked Leod, looking mutinous. “Leave?” I laughed in his face. “You don’t get it, do you? You set up shop in her home. You cut down her house and rearranged it how you like. She’s not gonna leave and there is absolutely nothing you can do to her. Make a quick movement in her presence and she’ll vanish instantly. She’ll keep stealing your valuables too, unless you pay her.” “How does she even know she’s getting paid?!” bawled Leod, who was red in the face. I actually wondered about his heart for a moment. “She doesn’t, you’re just giving her something else shiny in lieu of your valuables. Doesn’t matter what she gets, really. I just figured you’d always have a crown when you need it and it’s pretty cheap for rent.” “Rent? Rent!?” yelled Leod. He was rapidly progressing to purple and I idly wondered if the flickerwill would be pest free soon. “I own this establishment, and the land it's built on! I own the trees used to make this store! I’m not sharing my home and business with a filthy little pincher and paying for it!” I nodded the whole time, pretending to keep interest in the conversation. “Indeed. Well I wish you the best of luck in evicting the otherworldly fae creature from your place of business. You’ll find that you will be laughed out of every exterminator's door and sent packing from the churches. A flickerwill isn’t evil, it’s part of the land. You can either suck it up and pay the crown or move out but the pixie is here to stay now that you built the house out of her trees. I can safely say that if you keep leaving her gifts, she will not steal from you. Just like people, they prefer to be given gifts than scrounge for their own wants.” I patted Leod on the shoulder who was slowly deflating and looking forlorn. “Speaking of payment, I’d charge you twenty crowns for my expertise and negotiations of hostilities with the flickerwill. You agreed to double, so that will be forty crowns. I’ll knock five off if you give me a lift back to town in the morning.” I pulled a blanket off a shelf and shoved it up against a corner. “You can’t be seriously trying to stay here after that stunt you pulled.” Leod looked completely defeated. I laced my hands behind my head and settled back into the corner. “I’d be a lunatic to try and get back to the city this late. Just be glad I solved your problem ‘immediately’.” I nodded to him and shut my eyes. I heard Leod grumbling as he slammed a door shut and disappeared deeper into his home. “Goodnight, little miss.” I said to the empty room. From behind my closed eyes I could see a shining glow right in front of my face. There was a brief puff of air on the tip of my nose and then the light went out. Something heavy dropped into my hand. I opened my eyes and held it up to the dim moonlight. It was one of the charms the flickerwill had taken, a large silver brooch with a emerald inlaid in the centre. Probably worth a solid week's worth of wages but I decided to keep it as a souvenir. It’s not often that I finish a case where no one and nothing has been killed. I’d like to remember this one.