text: “You think he went crazy?” Most of our staff was gathered outside his door. “My god I’ve never smelled anything like this before in my life!” “Do we kick it in?” “Well there really isn’t any other way to get in, is there?” “I mean seriously. There’s gotta be a body in there or something.” “I feel like we should ask the guy one more time.” “Well it hasn’t gotten us very far yet. I bet he’s asleep.” “What do we do once we’re in?” “We take care of whatever that smell is. I hope it’s just some old food.” “Just kick the damn door in.” The crusty old door collapsed with a thud. The entire group shouldered their way in to see the mess they assumed had been made. As soon as we entered however, we were stopped dead in our tracks by the utter stench that reaked throughout the area. The man on the bed stirred awake. He turned to us and rested one elbow on his sheets, while the other arm lay limp at his side as he spoke. “Hey everybody. Where did Mary go?” He spoke in a lethargic manner due to his recent awakening. “Where did Mary go?” He looked around the room casually. “And where’s my only cigarette?” Annoyed by the lack of response, he employed a sarcastic tone. “Please think for me, I can’t bear to.” He layed back down and stared at the ceiling. He seemed unaffected by the fact that there were a dozen strangers in his room. A few more filtered in and began to search the suite for the cause of the odor. “I’ll just lie here for awhile. Wet myself. Wet my bed.” he continued to antagonize. “I’ve readied it all for her you know? Clean sheets, incense, and lots of fluffy pillows. Now soiled.” He had sat up straight now, with his legs out to the end of the bed. He stretched his back, and then he looked back at us again. “Hey, where’s my cigarette?” As we began to understand the severity of the situation we encircled him, but he still sat there unphased, as if nothing were the matter. He noticed the rest of the group that had been scouring his room, looking for any signs of life or death, and so he shouted out “Did you check the bathroom? The bathtub? She sleeps there sometimes.” He looked back at us and lowered his voice as he mockingly said “Water cleanses you know? Washes dirt away... makes new.” He began to seize in a fit of laughter. Our staff manager grabbed him by the collar of his white tee, and said “What did you do? What is all of this?” He simply continued to laugh. He tried to straighten his face as he said “Maybe she... maybe she... maybe she...” Another fit of laughter struck him rapidly. In the other room, there was a shriek. “What’s so funny?” the manager probed.