text: Edward stands at the edge of the yellow ‘Do Not Cross’ line listening to the rattling metallic screech echoing from the tunnel. Shimming back, he glances down the dark tracks watching the lights come closer until the train roars passed and shrieks to a halt. Two tones sound off the subterranean walls followed by an electronic voice. “Doors opening.” Like the ocean tide, the passengers flow in and out of the train car. Edward steps through the sliding doors and the voice chimes once more. “Doors closing.” Almost immediately the train lurches forward. Ed sighs harshly after catching himself on a rubber handhold that hangs from the ceiling. He looks around the car thinking how funny it is that he recognizes the strangers on his morning commute. He nods to the familiar faces he makes eye contact with and notes the others who are caught up in their morning routines and sleepy stupors. Like the middle-aged gentleman juggling a thermos, a newspaper, and his cell phone. Or the large woman with thinning brown hair and fading dye who chews her breakfast louder than the train runs. Edward glances out of the window at the dark tunnel thinking of the other sleepy faces around him. The occasional light bulb wooshes past distracting him from both the familiar and unfamiliar. He reminds himself beneath his breath. “Two stops ‘til daylight.” The train’s professional voice sounds off once more cutting through the uncomfortable morning silence. “Approaching Clarke and Division. Next stop: North and Clybourne.” A Sikh man Edward recognizes bounces onto the train offering all who meet his gaze with bright smile. After another exchange of passengers, the train surges forward once more. Edward closes his eyes after returning the greeting and he reminds himself. “One stop ‘til daylight.” Edward forces a low airy laugh finding humor in a wandering thought about his morning ritual. It reminds him of turning on the light in a dark room. He closes his eyes to prepare the onslaught of sudden illumination. The light shines through his closed lids and his pupils adjust. Yet it feels silly to do now. He has already walked through the morning light to get to the train in the first place. Not to mention, the trains own fluorescent bulbs. What makes the sun’s light different? Is it the magnification off the city windows? Ed plays with different reasons but none of them feel right. He shrugs his thoughts away and continues to observe his many foreign acquaintances. He wonders how the pink haired woman with the side cut and the dark lipstick reads her novel while squeezed between the loud chewer and a smartly dressed but dazed looking businessman. The train screeches to a stop and the voices informs. “This is North and Clybourne. Exit through the doors on the right. Fullerton is next.” The doors thud open and the car becomes emptier. The businessman rushes out pushing past a homeless man as he enters. The vagrant looks at Edward and smiles. Some of his teeth are missing but his eyes are bright. “Morning, Eddy boy.” Ed returns a smile. “Good morning, Hughie.” “Doors closing.” The train launches again. “Fullerton is next. Transfer to the purple and brown lines at Fullerton.” Hugh points to his eyes. “Daylight’s a comin’. Better close the eyes before the sun burns ‘em out.” He laughs turns and finds his way to the back of the train car giving Edward a dismissive wave. Edward smiles at the delightful Hugh. He closes his eyes still wondering whether he shields them from the sudden shift in light or if it is a game he subconsciously plays with himself like children lifting their feet off the floor of the car as they’re driven by a cemetery. Listening to the screeching railway, he sways with the train car lightly correcting himself with the plastic handhold hanging from the ceiling. The sun’s warmth is sudden and even through his closed eyes he winces. There is both pleasure and discomfort. The sound of the train no longer echoes off the tunnel walls. It makes Edward feel as though the train is floating away like objects ejected from an air lock in space movies. The train slows and the momentum makes him sway forward. The train’s automated voice calls out again. “This is Fullerton. Switch to the Brown and Purple lines at Fullerton.” Edward sighs and the doors crank open. He can feel the bodies shift in and out like the air in his lungs. The sunlight shines through the skin and blood making a fine crimson beneath his eyelids. The train calls out to the passengers. “Doors closing. Next stop Belmont. Switch to Brown and Purple Lines at Belmont.” The doors close rapidly and the train lurches forward. Finally, Edward’s eyes flutter open as his body becomes accustomed to the train’s speed. He blinks at the rising glass buildings reflecting the sun’s light. He looks over the familiar faces of his commute noting that his vagrant acquaintance is gone. There is one new face with curly black hair and light bronze skin. She is looking at her phone with a bright smile. Her eyes are a green-hazel color trimmed with golden flakes. She is radiant. She is a flashbang grenade that steals away Edward’s sight and sucks the oxygen from his chest. Everything feels like that picture perfect movie moment. Guy sees girl. Time slows down. Love at first sight. Edward watches her for a moment. Wondering if it is appropriate to move over and talk to her. He decides against it. Who would want someone hitting on them at 7:23 in the morning? He averts his gaze outside and is taken aback by the sight. Three birds, a robin and two finches, are frozen in mid flight next to the window. The train is no longer moving. The trees outside are frozen mid wind induced sway. The vehicles and pedestrians along the streets and sidewalks all paused in their movements. Edward looks at all the passengers in the train car. The middle-aged man’s thermos is falling from his hands the liquid spilling over the side while his phone seems like its levitating awayt. The loud woman still holding the phone to her face on speaker phone mouth paralyzed in an exaggerated position mid conversation. He cringes at the sight of the half-chewed food in the other woman’s half open mouth. Edward swallows his disbelief, and he waves his hand in front of the nearest person. There is no reaction. “No. This can’t be happening. What is even happening?” Edward regurgitates the skepticism and it splashes over him in a panic. He rushes over to the man whose thermos spills hot coffee. He grabs the thermos and turns it over. Nothing falls out. He lets go of the container. It does not fall. Edward screams at the man’s face. There is no reaction. He pinches his arm hoping the pain might wake up from this strange dream. His fingernails slice his skin, and he remains awake. “I’m not asleep.” Shocked tears fall from his wide eyes. He lets the fear take him like the high tide waiting for himself to breathe in the calm. When the fear subsides like the low tide, he looks at her. How the sunlight is fixed on her motionless frame. Her brilliant beaming is comforting and intoxicating. It makes him feel safe. Edward blinks hard as if it will reset his malfunctioning eyes and brain. Perhaps he has fallen asleep, or he is stuck in a bout of sleep paralysis on the train. Yes! He thinks to himself. That must be it! He leans back in the seat growing lightheaded. The edge of his vision becomes static tunneling into the center. Edward breathes deep trying to get his breathing under control. Trying to get his perspective of the situation under control. He opens his eyes and his gaze immediately falls on her. “Is it you?” He whispers to himself taking in her hair like fire in the morning light. He shakes his head. “No. That doesn’t make sense.” Edward looks away only for a moment, and then glances back noticing even from nearly ten feet away the freckles along the bridge of her nose. He scans the train car taking in the other subjects frozen in time. Edward stands walking over to the coffee floating almost as if it were liquid floating in the vacuum of space. He dabs his finger and licks it. A thought crosses his mind, and he grabs his phone from his pocket. He clicks the lock button, and the screen remains dark. He sighs and looks at his darkened reflection. The man stuck in time gently tosses the phone upward expecting it to stay suspended like the coffee. It falls to the floor shattering the screen. He sighs again. “How long?” He wonders out loud. “How long will it be this way?” \*\* Ed’s stomach growls painfully. He scratches his long and greyed beard and sniffs the grime that burrows beneath his fingernails. His nose scrunches and he lifts the fingers in question to his eyes. “Time doesn’t exist. This is proof. It did once before, but now, like the dinosaurs, it does not. This train is the meteor that broke time.” Edwards sunken bloodshot eyes flick toward the radiant woman. She looks like a religious statue carved from the most precious material. “Or maybe it is you? Maybe this is wrong! Maybe time is not broken! Perhaps this is limbo, or an afterlife and this is my punishment.” His eyes go to the birds suspended outside of the train window. He digs the dirt from his fingernails using the corner of a debit card from his wallet. His bones poke through his skin as he hunches over to get a look at his toenails. His clothes drape over him as if they are on a mannequin to small for their display. “Maybe this train went off the rails and this is the moment before I died. I am stuck here. Yes. Yes! I did not believe in any God or religion. The universe doesn’t know what to do with me. So, I am here! Suspended in time! Losing youth and mind! Yes! Yes!” Edward tosses the card aside and stands up. He grabs the rubber handholds in front of the coffee man. He hangs bringing his legs up and lowering his face level with the man and his spilled drink. “What do you think, Stefan?” He waits a minute and begins to nod his head. “Yes. I understand. We don’t speak enough for you to want to answer. I think I know what you would say though. You would agree with me. Yes. Yes you would, Stefan.” Edward sees the man’s phone in his pocket. He releases the handles and falls onto his knees. He inches forward and slips his fingers in grabbing the phone. His stomach drops at the sight of his reflection. His skin is wrinkled and covered in liver spots. His eyes are desperate beads in sunken sockets. His hair is long greasy and thin, and his beard is unruly and down to his belly button. “I am my own demon.” Edward says to his greyed reflection. He notices his decaying teeth and infected gums. “My own punishing angel.” He looks to her. “I feel myself slipping. I’ve felt it for so long now. I don’t know how long I’ve been this way. Have I *always* been this way? How long has it been since my body has decayed. You are my constant, yet I do not know your name!” He lets the phone slip through his fingers as he stands. He gestures to the people around him. “I’ve fished into their pockets and learned what I could about them. My neighbors here frozen in this pocket of time. I’ve grown to love them. They are my friends and they’ve brought me solace in this time.” Edward grabs two metal poles four feet away from the radiant woman. “I’ve refrained from learning about you. Stopped myself. I don’t want to disrespect you. I don’t want to invade your privacy.” His lips curl into a frustrated sneer. “We could become friends! Like Stefan and I! He shares his coffee with me! Imagine what we could share! Imagine the conversations! I want to know your name! I want to know who you are!” Spittle sprays from his mouth. He breathes rapidly and steps forward hesitating as his hand reaches for the purse hanging from her arm. He reaches in and feels until he grabs something that feels like a wallet. There is a sense of relief as he pulls it out. The train rattles and screeches as it brakes pulling into the next station. The sudden shift in momentum pulls Edward down sending him tumbling backward. He lands on his back and matches the shocked stares at the passengers above him. They stare and plug their noses. He grasps the wallet holding it up in his hand. The radiant woman steps forward and snatches it back. “What the hell is wrong with you!” She shrieks. Edward’s ears ring and his face is hot from embarrassment. The other passengers begin to move between him and her. Their mouths move but he cannot hear. They point to the opening doors. He scrambles and runs out. The sudden sensation of noise and movement is too much for him to comprehend, an overload of his dulled senses from his pause in time. He pushes through the people waiting to get on the train. He falls onto the bench grasping his chest and howling in physical and emotional pain while watching the train refill. The doors close and the train lurches forward. He looks up finding the radiant woman in the window. She matches his look and gives him wry smile. Struck with fear, Edward struggles to stand. He limps down the stairs trying to run. He pushes with all his bodyweight through the turnstile and rounds the corner to a narrow alley riddled with potholes. He leans on a brick walls hidden by a dumpster. He looks down at a puddle and stares at the man who he became while lost in time. A brief quizzical look from his reflection back asks if this is who he was all along. Edward’s grasp on reality becomes as difficult as his breathing. His chest pulsates with pain. He closes his eyes, and he thinks of the radiant woman. Ed smiles weakly feeling the warmth and comfort. His voice is hoarse. “She’s warmer than the sun.” And his final breath croaks outward as if squeezed from a rusted tin can. ***** Thanks for the read everybody! Would love to hear some feedback. You will also be able to find this story and some more over on my Royal Road platform.