text: "You are beautiful," my reflection whispers to me. I twirl around in my black sheath dress, which goes well with my tan skin and blond curls, wondering how long I can keep it hidden. "Are you ready, darling? ", calls Karl from the terrace. While I quickly powder my nose and put on a little lipstick, I think today is the right day to tell him. I step outside to my beloved, who is sitting by our pool high above the soft blue Pacific with a highball. The thermometer still reads 88 degrees Celsius. I kiss Karl on his black hair. His tangy scent mixes with the fragrance of the bougainvillea and Jacaranda bushes to form a one-breathtaking cocktail. On the pool, hibiscus blossoms sway like little Inflatable boats. "Time for a sundowner", I say and pull my beloved out of the deck chair. With the jeep that belongs to our bungalow at Hotel Las Torres, we drive through the steep mountain paths of the flamingo-colored casita town on the slopes of the Sierra Madre Occidental. A table is already reserved for us on the terrace at the Bella Vista restaurant. "Ten more minutes and then it's time, my darling," Karl says. I lose myself in his velvet eyes. The light breeze that gave this hotel its name above the bay of Acapulco dances a Foxtrot with the palm fronds. "The usual?", the waiter asks. "I want champagne today", I say, putting on my most seductive smile. "Champagne it is", says Karl. The sun, hovering like a yellow ball on the west side of the bay, is getting ready for its grand entrance. White yachts bob in the bay, they say Onassis will come today. The high-rise buildings on the beach and the casitas on the mountains surrounding the bay sparkle like crystal chandeliers. The waiter brings a silver cooler with a bottle of Dom Perignon, which he skillfully opens with a soft plop. "Bello", "Stunning", resounds from the surrounding tables as the yellow ball dips into the horizon, turning the sky into a fire-breathing volcano. "Ordered especially for you," says Karl. Now, I think, is the right moment. We toast ourselves and order a menu of shrimp salad, coconut sorbet, steamed red snapper and guava cream. Chablis is served with it. Down in the bay, a riva circles between the red glowing mountain slopes. "We're having a baby," I say, holding my breath. Now it all depends on how he reacts. Karl still looks affectionate. The second stretches into days, and then he smiles. "Oh Ella, that's wonderful, darling, that's fantastic!". I exhale. The wind plays a hymn to our love with the palm leaves. "And you're really not mad?", I ask, my mouth dry as the Mexican desert despite the champagne. "Ella, I love you so much. Let's drink to that, to our future." I down the champagne like spring water. "Oh God, darling, now I actually forgot my wallet in the bungalow". "So what, we can have the food written on the room," I say, by now quite a lady of the world, of a world that I got to know through him. "I should get it anyway, not that it will still be stolen," says Karl. "And then we'll celebrate, I promise." I nod and Karl heads for the exit. Another sip of champagne, my hand shaking so much I almost spill it. In a moment he's going to propose to me, I think, I hope, no, I know it. What a fool I was to think he wouldn't be happy. Just because we've been together for three years and still not engaged. Because he was always "paying attention." No, I shake my head, he really was happy. What's taking him so long? It doesn't take longer than ten minutes to get there. The waiter comes with the shrimp. I look around on the terrace. At the next table sits an older American couple, she wears rhinestone-studded glasses with butterfly wings and so much jewelry that you could decorate a Christmas tree with it. Further back, two men are talking spiritedly in Spanish. My eyes meet those of a young woman holding hands with a man who could be her grandfather. She smiles. I smile back and start poking around in the shrimp. Where is Karl? "Don't be stupid," my inner voice whispers to me, "he's trying to find an engagement present for you somewhere." What if he's had an accident? Or been mugged? Passed out? I wave to the waiter and ask if I can make a phone call somewhere. He leads me to the counter. No one answers the phone in the bungalow. I try the reception desk. I ask if there has been an accident. Who I am looking for. "Kaarel Schmidt from Germany," I say. The answer in Mexican-colored English tells me that Karl left the hotel in the Jeep ten minutes ago. And I am reassured. Nothing has happened to him. He's just going to jet quickly to Acapulco and try to find an engagement present. Karl, Karl, I love you so much. In the meantime, I dig into the sorbet, which cools my heated mood down to normal. The Chablis does the rest. When the Chablis is already half empty, the waiter comes with the fish. I look at the clock, Karl has been gone for more than an hour now. No, I don't want any fish now, I've lost my appetite. Typical man, instead of celebrating with me, he's hanging out in Acapulco. Another glass of Chablis. That's enough now. I ask the waiter for the bill and sign it. Since Karl has the jeep, I have to walk. Of course, the high heel of my right shoe promptly breaks off on the stony hillside. It doesn't matter, I take the shoes in my hand and move as if on smoldering coke. Finally, behind the hibiscus hedge is our casita. Oh God, I'm so drunk. The door to the bungalow is open. And behind it is - nothing. No Karl, no luggage, no purse, not even my own things anymore. I feel sick, I stagger into the bathroom and throw up. The guy didn't even leave me the toothpaste. There is a knock. "Come in", I say, and think, why are you only coming now? "Well, Ella, are we really hungry tonight?" This stupid turkey of a nurse always talks about we. Besides, my name is Schuster. In the retirement home you even lose the right to your last name. "What's for dinner?", I ask. "Delicious cooked fish", says Nurse Bexley, so much for the right to one's own name. "Ew!" "But Ella, honey, it's from the Pacific. "Ugh." She releases the brakes on my wheelchair and I smell her sweat. "Before we go to dinner, let's have a little nip of this." "Ew!" "But Ella, this is our sundowner!" What's too much is too much. With my blue-veined hand, I swipe the sippy cup with the effervescent tablet from her fingers.