text: Some would have been ready to call it a night but for Monsieur LeBlanc, the famous French food critic, the night was just beginning. Heavily intoxicated, LeBlanc stumbled into a McDonald's restaurant and made his way to the counter, demanding to speak to the manager. "Je veux la recette de la sauce secrète du Big Mac!" he shouted, slamming his hand down on the counter. "I must have it!" The manager, taken aback by Monsieur LeBlanc's drunken behavior, tried to calm him down. "Sir, I'm sorry, but we can't just give out the recipe to our secret sauce. It's proprietary information." Monsieur LeBlanc was having none of it. "Mais c'est absurde!" he cried. "I am a food critic! It is my job to know the secrets of all the best foods! And the Big Mac is the quintessential American burger! I must have the recipe!" The other customers in the restaurant began to take notice of the commotion. Some of them snickered and pointed at the drunk Frenchman, while others looked on in bemusement. The manager, not wanting to cause a scene, decided to placate the impassioned man. "Sir, I understand your passion for food, but I can't give you the recipe. However, I can tell you that the secret sauce is made from a combination of mayonnaise, ketchup, and pickle relish." Monsieur LeBlanc looked at the manager skeptically. "Mayonnaise? Ketchup? Relish? C'est tout?" The manager nodded. "Yes, that's all there is to it." Monsieur LeBlanc scoffed. "Bah! C'est un scandale! A burger with such a simple sauce cannot be the best in America!" And with that, he stumbled out of the restaurant, muttering in French about the sorry state of American cuisine. The other customers watched him go, chattering and laughing about the drunken Frenchman's outburst. On his way home,Monsieur LeBlanc passed another bar. Still lost in thought about the secret sauce, he walked in without even noticing. He made his way to the counter and ordered a drink, his mind racing with ideas about how he could create the perfect sauce to rival the Big Mac's secret sauce. As he sipped his drink, Monsieur LeBlanc began to feel a renewed sense of purpose. He jumped onto the bar, startling the other patrons, and began to speak passionately. "Mes amis, I have found my calling! I will create a sauce to rival the Big Mac's secret sauce! This sauce will be the greatest sauce in the world! It will bring me renown and riches and political persuasion! I will become a man of great consequence!" The other patrons looked on in puzzlement as Monsieur LeBlanc continued his soliloquy, gesturing wildly and slurring his words. "I will travel the world, tasting all the sauces and spices, until I find the perfect combination! And when I do, I will unveil my creation to the world, and they will bow down to me! I will be the greatest chef in all of France! Non, in all the World!" The bartender, not wanting to further agitate the drunk Frenchman, politely asked him to step down from the bar. Monsieur LeBlanc obliged, stumbling a bit as he stepped down. As he made his way out of the bar and into the cool night air, Monsieur LeBlanc felt a renewed sense of purpose. He would create the greatest sauce in the world, and nothing would stand in his way. With a determined look on his face, he continued on his journey home, eager to get started on his new mission. Monsieur LeBlanc struggled with the front door in his drunken stupor but finally forced it open and made his way unsteadily into the kitchen. His mind was racing with ideas for his perfect sauce. But as he searched through the fridge for his ingredients, he began to feel increasingly frustrated. Where was the mayo? He was sure he had bought some. He looked around the kitchen and noticed that everything was in disarray. The utensils were in the wrong drawer, the plates were in the wrong cabinet, and the pantry was a mess. Monsieur LeBlanc's frustration turned to anger. He began to throw things, smashing dishes and pots and pans on the floor. He was convinced that the executives of McDonald's had somehow infiltrated his home and rearranged his kitchen to sabotage him. "They think they can stop me!" he shouted, his voice slurring. "But I will not be stopped! I will create the greatest sauce in the world, and they will rue the day they crossed me!" Monsieur LeBlanc's anger grew to a fever pitch. He decided that the only way to escape the clutches of McDonald's and their nefarious plans was to fake his own death. He would burn down his kitchen and disappear, leaving behind only ashes and smoke. He lit a match and tossed it into a pile of paper towels, watching as the flames quickly spread throughout the kitchen. He laughed maniacally as he watched his life's work go up in smoke. But as the fire grew, Monsieur LeBlanc began to realize the gravity of his mistake. What had he done? His prized collection of cookbooks and rare french wines would be destroyed. But before he could reconsider the flames leapt up all around the room. He stumbled out of the house, choking on smoke and regret. The adrenaline seemed to sober Monsieur LeBlanc up. As he collapsed on the lawn, he vowed to start anew. He would find a way to create the perfect sauce, without letting his drunken paranoia get the best of him. He crawled like a dog to the perimeter of the property and collapsed in the shrubbery. His clothes and face were covered in soot. He could hear the sound of sirens getting louder and louder, and knew that the police and firefighters would soon be upon him. But as he lay there watching the house erupt into flames, Monsieur LeBlanc suddenly realized that he had been in the wrong house. This wasn't his kitchen at all - it belonged to someone else entirely. He felt a sudden surge of embarrassment and shame wash over him. How could he have been so foolish? But then, a twisted smile spread over his ashen face. "If you want to make an omelette," he muttered to himself, "you have got to break some eggs." Monsieur LeBlanc got to his feet and stumbled away from the burning house, still chuckling to himself. He knew that he had caused a great deal of chaos and destruction, but he also knew that it was a small price to pay for the pursuit of greatness. As he disappeared into the darkness, Monsieur LeBlanc resolved to get away and start over. He would find a new kitchen, a new set of ingredients, and he would create the perfect sauce, no how many eggs-or laws-needed to be broken.