text: Let me tell you the story of my 17th birthday- a story of how someone once saved my life. As long as I had been alive, I had been running for my life. I lived in a small town; an attractive, tranquil place nestled alongside a lake, the kind of scenic village you may see in a postcard. I would not have minded growing old here, yet I feared greatly that old age was not something I would live to see. As I grew, I had borne witness to much change; people came and went from my life in the endless song we all sang. But only one person had been constant, and that is the one who chased me. I believed that one day, this town would be my resting place. At some moment, I would inevitably collapse, unable to summon the strength within me to keep evading. The hunter kept after me, and I was beginning to tire of chase. The moment of submittance was near, that I could sense. My will was weakening, and my eyes shed tears. This life was not sustainable, that I knew; but it was the only life for me, so I would have ran until my last, dying breath had left, when the cavity of my chest had let in death. For all of my years until this point, as sure as the moon chases the sun each night, my shadow had hunted me. He was the darkness that followed me, and only when the moon shined upon us did he vanish. But night did not bring relief; in darkness he molded unto the world itself, and in this state the harassment was ceaseless. He would enter my mind and whisper words of darkness into my soul, corrupting me and the little light I still held dear. There was no escape, or so I thought- I could not outrun him, I could not hide from him, and I certainly could not outlive him. He was the corruption bound to my soul, and I knew not of how to release him. The new moon was with us on this night; the new moon is from whence darkness thrives more than light. As the sun set, fear grew inside me, consuming me, and feasting on the little hope I had within me. And again, I found myself walking alone after dark, roaming the streets of this place that meaned so much to me. Streetlights flickered solemnly, guiding me to this town's heart. But the light cast my shadow behind me; a reminder of why I walked, and of why I could not stop. Towards this town's center I continued further, dragging heavy legs farther, farther and onwards. Closer I came, and then, among shuttered storefronts and paved sidewalks, I saw many small, flickering flames illuminating the dark. The Candlemaker was a well known, and well loved figure in our town. A jovial old man, the Candlemaker was always happy to see the children of this town come into his store and smell the candles, even if they were not to take any home. The Candlemaker ran the store with his wife; he made and sold candles, while his wife sat in her old, rickety rocking chair and knitted beautiful garments for the poor and needy- a necessity in our cold, cold snowy seasons. The Candlemaker's passion was in crafting light, and it was light he and his wife shared with all the people who visited his store; a smile he said, was much brighter than anything he could make with wax and wick. The amalgamation of dim lights intrigued me on this night- the Candlemaker was not known to run his store after dark, so seeing these lights in the distance was very unusual, nearly cause for fright. As I approached the storefront, I could see that the Candlemaker had dragged that old rocking chair onto the porch before the store. Surrounding him, was what must have been hundreds of lit candles. They were haphazardly strewn around the porch and railing, each casting only a small amount of light; as a whole, however, they shined greatly, illuminating the creases and wrinkles on the Candlemaker's ever aging skin. He was humming a tune that buzzed more and more incessantly in my ears as I grew closer and closer. It was a familiar melody, yet one I could not place. A song I had heard it all my life, but the name remained elusive- it felt as if the stars were singing to me directly; a mysterious tune, yet meant to be lucid. He was watching me, and in this moment, I felt as if he had been waiting for me all this time. "Your eyes carry the weariness of your travels, young Starboy," the Candlemaker spoke. "What is it that saps your strength?" "All my life, I have ran from my shadow. I grow tired, and I fear I will soon lose the will to continue on." The Candlemaker waited a moment to speak, as if captivated by thought. "When," he spoke, "are the times, where the shadow that haunts you is gone?" "In total darkness, my shadow is not behind me, but it becomes all that is." The Candlemaker waited again, as if this time letting me become captivated by thought. "And?" I remained silent, not sure of another answer. He spoke again, "What is a shadow?" "Darkness," I replied. "Yes... your darkness..." the Candlemaker spoke, "and darkness dissolves within light. When does total light eliminate your shadow?" I struggled to answer this at first, but I soon saw where he was trying to lead me. "At noon, when the light is greatest," I spoke, "my shadow is not behind me." "Where then," the Candlemaker spoke again, "does it go?" "Well... I suppose as noon approaches... the shadow grows nearer and nearer to me... so at noon, it must be completely within me." "Yes, yes," the Candlemaker chuckled as he continued to talk, "you see that quite clearly. Now, is it not that at noon, under the most light, you feel most alive?" "I suppose it is," I replied hesitantly. "Well then," he spoke, "you know what must be done. Follow the light, and you will find your peace; you will need not to run any longer." He opened his hand, letting his palm face upwards to the vast expanse of nothingness we call space. And then, from seemingly thin air, materialized a radiant, golden butterfly, casting a great amount of light all around it. And then suddenly, the candles extinguished all at once, and the Candlemaker was gone. But the golden butterfly was not. It took off, flying ever so peacefully in a direction towards the outskirts of town. It drifted ever so softly in the night's breeze, floating lazily along, yet with purpose and direction. I knew I needed to follow this light, and so I did, letting it lead me further and further away from civilization. Into the dark forest we went, with only that butterfly to illuminate our path; onwards we walked, until sunrise was near. It stopped, and here there was the mouth of a cave in front of us. It should have been ominous, yet it was oddly comforting instead. The radiant butterfly continued on again, leading me deeper and deeper into this cave. The air down here was stale, and I could hear the dripping of water from the caves ceiling as I walked further into the unknown. And then we came into an expansive chamber at the bottom, with no way out but the way we had come in. Above where we had come in, a small, angled hole led all the way to the surface; it looked vaguely man-made, yet I was unsure of it's purpose. On the far end of the chamber was a small, still pool of water, and a small flat rock in front of it. The golden butterfly flew to this rock, before exploding in a brilliant golden flash. Darkness came, but not totally; I could now see the purpose of the small hole, as the rising sun began to cast light down it, and it flooded into the chamber. I walked over to the flat rock, and waited for something to happen, staring into the pool of crystal clear water. As the morning sunlight hit my back, it cast my shadow in front of me, into the pool of water. Here, I could see it clearly, for all it was; it was but a reflection of me, staring back the same way I stared at him. I felt love and compassion, a deep, aching sadness for the darkness that engulfed him. In this moment, I understood clearly; that shadow was not only a reflection of me, but it was me, as much me as I was me. Into the pool I waded, and I sat there, staring at the reflection of me staring back. Here, I decided I was done running, and I let my shadow become one with me. We merged, and I felt the pain of a thousand repressed memories become mine; deep sadness, anger, and hate overwhelmed me, and threatened to destroy me. But it could not destroy me, for it was my true being. By accepting my darkness, and allowing it to be a part of me, a part I acknowledge and let be, I found my true self- I had found true peace. Without my darkness, I realized, I was nothing more than a shell of who I was meant to be. That darkness was as much part of me as was the light inside of me. Running from it did no good; all this time, I was only running from myself, and all I had to do was allow my shadow to complete me. The greatest birthday gift I had ever received- the pieces missing from me. I left the cave, and time went on, as it tends to do. I left town, grew old, and married the kindest soul on the earth- someone who had accepted her own shadow as well, and together we were even more complete. But I had an itch calling me back home, so with my wife I went, to the town of so many memories. But when I arrived, I saw that candle store had closed- the Candlemaker and his wife passed away many moons ago, a tragedy indeed. And in that pang of sadness, I knew what would truly complete me. And so I write this from my little candle store I opened in that small town, a place where I can show my light to all who wish to see how bright life can be. The kids fill my store with laughter and love, and I am thankful for the opportunities that have been presented to me. I see the next one now, roaming the dark, empty streets. They call me the Candlemaker, and soon the cycle will repeat.