text: A little back story, I hated my creative writing teacher in highschool because she wouldn't let us be creative. As a result I would write really stupid stories that made no sense just to piss her off. I found this old assignment in my Google doc's today. Without further delay I present Howard's New Shoes Howard was a young boy who lived in poland, in the year of 1926. He lived in the city of Radomsko with his Mother, Father, and beloved pet tortoise named Kip. Ever since he burst from his mothers loins Howard had stinky feet, the local children and adults took to calling him "Stankfoot". No doctors could Diagnose the cause of his stinky feet, he was told his feet would always stink. Years passed and Howard had gotten used to the name stankfoot, he thought about changing his name perminately to stank foot. When Howard was about 12 years old a wizard came to the town of Radomsko, although he looked more like a bum everyone had a gut feeling he was a wizard. The wizard was named DeMarcus he claimed to be from the country of Jamaica. DeMarcus spotted Howard walking along the street one day, and he knew he was "The one". DeMarcus thought of a plan to lure Howard into talking to him, after a week of brainstorming DeMarcus decided that he would hit Howard in his van. DeMarcus hid in the weeds of a vacant lot across the street from Howards home, DeMarcus sat in the weeds for so long he started to feel funny. The weeds he was sitting in released a spore when disturbed and he had been breathing in the spores for so long he didnt get enough oxygen to his brain. DeMarcus spotted Howard and his beloved Kip out for a walk. DeMarcus got into his van and took off towards Howard and Kip, It hadn't occured to DeMarcus that walking Kip was quite the task given that he was a tortoise. DeMarcus did a lap of the block to give them time to get farther away from home, as he rounded the corner to get back onto Howards street he spyed Howard, and Kip who had only moved a few inches. DeMarcus did many more laps to pass the time. Howard had noticed the van with the seahorse on the side pass him many times and became frightened, he picked up Kip and took off running. DeMarcus saw his opporotunity and took it, he sped up and hit Howard head on, Howard flew up in the air and landed in a bush nearby. DeMarcus hopped out of the van to finish his plans with Howard, as DeMarcus approached he tried to act worried. Howard was left unharmed but convinced he needed to call the police, DeMarcus insisted he didn't need the police involved, because of his many misdemeanors. After a long and drawn out argument DeMarcus's plan had worked, DeMarcus was elated. DeMarcus Recovered a box from his van, he presented it to Howard. In the box was a pair of shoes that would cure Howard of his smelly feet. Demarcus had generously offered them to Howard for the price of 185 Zloty's which equals 50 dollars and 21 cents in U.S. Dollars. Howard was oblivious to the scam because of his desire to not smell. He foolishly accepted DeMarcus's offer. Howard went home to his worried parents and explained how he bought new shoes that would cure his stinky feet. His parents asked where they were and he pointed to his feet. The shoes did not cure Howard, but made him smell worse. That was the day Howard was known as "Stanky Howard" and the day DeMaracus Johnson became the most succesful con-man in the Polish and Jamaican wizard community.