text: Teetering on the edge had become her specialty. She learned - and learned very well - how to maintain her composure through all situations. She was good at ignoring that gut wrenching feeling in the pit of her stomach and pasting a smile on her face, a laugh on her lips. She made sure to never say a word when her boyfriend stayed out hours later than he said he would. She convinced herself it wasn't that big of a deal because he always apologized and she knew he was faithful so what's the harm in late nights with his boys on the weekend? She never gave it a second thought when that guy who was so good looking it was intimidating came into her pub and took a seat at the bar directly in front of where she spends her idle time. She also didn't dwell on it when the equally intimidating (albeit for different reasons) regulars had too much to drink and let their anger get the best of them. She outwardly handled everything life threw at her with the utmost of confidence and pushed the nerves out of her head. She went to meetings, volunteered with the elderly, spent time with her boyfriend's family (and her own), and even decided to ignore past wrongdoings in favour of current peace with old friends; all the while convincing herself all was good. There she is, can you picture her life? The edge always right there, as a subtle reminder of what was really going on; Quietly daring her to take on one more thing. C'mon, you can handle it. All is good. And she was good. Her balancing act on that edge had become something of an art form. Until that day came. The day she fell. Her weight became too much and she felt the ground give out from under her and off she went. She felt herself free falling through the air with wild abandon. It all made sense now, that feeling of impending doom that had become her shadow. She knew she was in danger. That feeling in the pit of her stomach? It was definitely there for a reason. This reason. She completely and utterly lost control. It was almost exhilarating, once she accepted the panic that took over her completely. It's so much easier to stop fighting. Just give in. All of a sudden, just as she made that decision to let go of all the cares she's ever had in the world, just as she decided none of it mattered, she hit the ground. Now, I bet she feels nothing...except maybe relief. Sweet sweet relief.