text: The sky was so blue. The sun was so bright. The wind was blowing ever so subtly. The day was perfect. How could such a catastrophic event happen on such a day? I found myself suddenly hanging off the edge of a cliff. The only thing that I could hold onto was a small metal bar that was about two feet long. It stuck about a half a foot out from the cliff, and it was at least 5 feet away from the top of the cliff side. My main problem? The bar was boiling hot. It was as if it had come straight out of the fires of hell. The longer I held on, the more it burned my flesh. It hurt. A lot. I kept trying to slightly adjust myself, but that just ended up making it burn more. For a moment, I thought about letting go. *What’s the worst that could happen?* I thought. I looked down at what was beneath me. There was a massive dark hole at the bottom of the cliff. There was no way of knowing what lied within. However, the cliff side was so far up and the darkness was so far below that any person would inevitably die upon impact when they fell into the darkness. I quickly looked back up at the bar above me and tried to find a way out of this. How did I even get here? I honestly don’t know myself. One minute, I was standing with both feet perfectly on the ground. Everything seemed right with the world. Nothing in particular seemed too troubling at that moment. Then suddenly, I was thrown off the side of a cliff. I grabbed the bar as soon as I saw it and I held on tightly for dear life. I kept frantically looking around for a way out. There had to be *something*! It couldn’t just *end* like this! I looked at the rocks around me on the cliff wall. The rocks all seemed glossy smooth. There was no way to jump and grab hold of any of them. My hands were quickly blistering from the burns. I *had* to find something and soon. I looked up at the top of the cliff. It didn’t seem *too* far away. If I could find some way to get up there, I could get back onto the ground, and then I’d be fine. I just had to pull myself up past the bar. I attempted to avoid the pain in my hands as I lifted myself up over the bar and tried to reach higher. I knew I wouldn’t be able to reach it like this, but I had to at least gauge the distance between me and the top. I pulled myself up more. My knees were now at the same height as the bar, but I couldn’t rest now. I was so close! I lifted my right hand off the bar. It felt so nice to let it feel the air again instead of a burn. I reached my right hand up towards the top of the cliff. I could already start to see the green grass on the other side. Then, my right knee rubbed against the bar. My leg instantly began to sizzle. I shrieked in pain as I quickly lost balance. I fell back down below the bar, but my left arm twisted uncomfortably. I was now hanging from the bar by only my left hand, and I was looking down directly into the dark abyss below me. Also, when I lost balance and fell back down, it felt like my left arm popped out of the socket a bit. I cried out more. Not only was my arm burning because of the damned bar, but it was probably broken now. I could feel my left arm going numb. I had to swing my right arm back up onto the bar quickly. I turned myself back around and hesitantly grabbed a hold of the bar with my right hand. All the pain of the burning returned. For a very quick moment, I lifted my left hand off the bar. It still felt almost broken, and I had almost no feeling in it. I brought it down to my side and I looked at it. My left hand was burnt beyond recognition into a strange browny-black color. At least four layers of flesh had been burned clean off of my palm, and I could see the same thing happening to my right hand. It was clear that anytime I would try to climb to the top of the cliff, it would only make things worse. I was running out of options, and I was running out of time. If I stayed put and did nothing, my hands would be burnt all the way down to the dry bones which would make me fall nonetheless. I started to scream and make as much noise as possible. My main hope at this point was that someone would hear and come help me up. I continued to shout and scream for assistance. I would stop every so often to hear if anyone was coming. No one ever was. After a few minutes of helplessly shrieking like a child, I began to break down. I knew *no one* was coming. No one could hear me. I started to weep. My arms were getting tired and weaker by the second. I could literally hear the flesh on my hands burning off. I picked my head up. I used my shoulders to wipe some of the tears away. I *needed* to do something. I couldn’t just hang there in pain like that. I was only getting worse the longer I hung there. *Anything* was better than this elongated torture. Then, a small thought came to me. I looked down at the unrelenting darkness below me. *What exactly* is *down there? What would happen if you let go right now?* No! What the hell am I saying? I have *no* idea what happens if I let go of this bar. All I *do* know is it leads to certain death. I might be in pain now, but it’s gonna hurt a lot more if I fall. *But what if there’s a huge pool of water or something down there? It’ll cushion your fall.* Even if there *is* some sort of body of water down there, a fall from this height into water could still be highly fatal! I’m not taking that chance. Besides, there’s *no* possible way there’s a pool of water down there. I know if I let go of this bar, that will be the end. There is no chance of life going on. That’s it. It’s over. There’s nothing but eternal darkness and silence down there. The world will dissolve into nothingness. Right now, I may be in a massive amount of pain, but at least I know I’m alive and there’s still hope. I’m not letting go. I will continue to hold on until I’m saved. I continued to look around the cliff side for something I could use to save myself since it was clear no one else was coming anytime soon. I reached my feet out to try and touch the wall, but it was just a bit too far away, and I was so exhausted that I could barely move any part of my body. It was becoming increasingly harder to support my entire body with just my right arm. I’m not a terribly muscular person, but I can support my own body weight for a few minutes. Not this long, though, and that doesn’t take into account the immense burning pain in my hand was currently enduring. It was becoming near unbearable. I looked back down at the black hole in the earth. *You are running out of time!* Shut up. *Maybe it won’t be so bad. Falling into that abyss of nothing.* Stop! I’m not letting go! *Eventually, that choice will not be available for you to make. The bar will burn through your flesh and you will be forced to fall. You will have absolutely no control.* I don’t know that for certain. Someone could come and save me. *Just listen to yourself. No one can save you! Look at yourself. You’re in pain. There’s only one way out of this. Think about all the pain you could spare yourself by letting go right now. Your hands won’t burn anymore. Your arm won’t be broken anymore. If you fall, it* will *hurt. That’s true. It’ll hurt a lot, but I guarantee the pain won’t last as long. Soon, it’ll be nothing but silence. It’ll all be over.* I kept looking back and forth between the darkness and the bar. I was in the same exact position I was in five minutes ago, if not in a *worse* position, and I’ll be in the same position five minutes from now. Nothing will change besides my pain level. That will continue to rise exponentially. I looked down at the darkness. It looked so unforgiving. So mysterious. So. . . final. There would be no coming back. . . but maybe that’s okay. I took one final glance at the bar. At the cliff top which seemed so close yet so far. At my horribly mutilated left arm. At my hand that seemed to slowly loosen its grip on the bar with every passing moment. I shut my eyes, took a deep breath, and let go. I let the darkness surround me. There was nothing but silence. I snapped myself back to reality. I opened my eyes. I was back to where I was before I began daydreaming. In the hospital waiting room. The same place I had been for countless hours before. Just being there made me weak. The doctor came out of one of the hospital rooms. He walked over to me and said I could go in now if I wanted. I slowly nodded my head. I stood up and followed the doctor back into the hospital room. I stepped in. He waited outside and shut the door behind me. I looked down at the colorless hospital bed in the center of the room. I looked at the poor woman lying on top of it. She was dressed in a typical hospital gown and socks. There were several tubes traveling from large machines into various parts of her body. A heart monitor stood next to her bed. It’s beeping had decreased in frequency ever since they first turned it on. The woman’s eyes were closed. She seemed tired. Exhausted. I started to sniffle a little. The woman must’ve heard me because she opened her eyes and looked over at me. The moment she saw me, she smiled. Her entire face lit up. She would’ve normally sat up upon seeing me, but she could barely move. I quickly tried to match her smile by putting one on my own face. It wasn’t a real smile, but if I didn’t do it, I would’ve ended up crying my eyes out again, and I had already done that enough in the past year. She extended her arm out to me. I walked towards the bed and snuggled in close to her. All was silent for a moment besides the sound of us breathing together. How did we ever get here? Less than a year ago, everything was fine. She was so hyper and adventurous. It was perfect. Then suddenly, she got sick. . . and she didn’t get better. Luckily, the doctors were able to get to her before it got *too* bad. But it’s just been going downhill ever since then. Everything they’ve tried has just made her worse. Maybe if they didn’t do anything, she would’ve been better off, but I guess we’ll never know now. Eventually, she figured out that nothing they were doing was helping her. Even in the last few months when she just kept getting worse, they kept trying to find something because . . . there *had* to be something. It couldn’t just *end* like this. But my mom thought otherwise. She said she didn’t want any more medicine or treatment. She just wanted nature to take its course. Everyone seemed to think this was a *great* idea. . . everyone except for me. Was I the *only* one who realized what was going to happen? . . . what was going to happen if we let her go? We couldn’t let that happen. *I* wasn’t going to let that happen. I kept trying to convince her to use more medicine, find other cures, even though they never worked. Even though it only made her worse. I just wanted her to get better. I just wanted her to be saved. There would be days when I would feel so down about it that I would just start crying as if *I* were the one in constant physical pain. It had consumed my life. The thought that one day, I would wake up and she wouldn’t be there. It was times like that when I would think to myself, *What if you let go of her right now? What would happen? It might not be as bad as you think. If you’re hurting so badly, why not get rid of the pain?* Absolutely not! What was I thinking? That’s a horrible thing to think. For the longest time, I avoided the thought and constantly prevented it from entering my mind, but now as I sat directly next to her with her body wrapped close to mine, the thoughts started to return. *She is running out of time.* Shut up. I knew exactly what would happen if I let her go. She would leave me forever. I knew if I let go of her, that would be the end. There would be no chance of her life going on. That’s it. It’s over. There would be nothing left for her but eternal darkness and silence. The world around her would dissolve into nothingness. I may be hurting a lot, but at least I know she’s alive and there’s still hope. I’m not letting go. I will continue to hold on until she’s saved. I expected a doctor to burst through the door at any moment and proclaim that he found the miracle cure that will save my mom for sure. I kept counting down the seconds till it would happen. . . I must’ve counted down to zero at least a hundred times before I gave up. No one was coming. I slowly lifted my head up and looked down at my mother. She still had her eyes closed. The sides of her mouth curled up into a genuinely content smile. She didn’t seem afraid. She was perfectly happy with her decision. *Maybe it won’t be so bad.* I’m not letting her go. *Pretty soon, that choice will not be up to you. She will only get worse from here. Nothing can save her now. You are only prolonging the inevitable. She’s only gotten worse since last month, and she will only get even worse next month. Look at yourself. You’re in pain. You’re tired. You haven’t laughed for real in almost six months. You haven’t slept well since God knows when. Your face is red from how much you’ve cried. Look at her. She is hurting more than you can imagine. There is only one way out of this. Think about all the pain you could spare yourself by letting go right now. If you let her fall, it* will *hurt. That’s true. It’ll hurt a lot, especially for you, but the pain won’t last as long. Soon, it’ll be nothing but silence. It’ll all be over.* I kept looking at my mother. She continued to hug me close to her chest. I could see the pain making her weaker by the second. The pain alone was nearly killing her. I thought about what might happen if I let her fall. Her pain would be completely gone. *She* will be gone. She can never come back. I would be hurting for a while. . . but it won’t be nearly as bad as my current pain. I looked at her one more time. I could tell that she too was ready. I leaned in real close, and I kissed her gently on the cheek. I softly whispered that I loved her. She didn’t respond, but I could tell that she heard me and was mentally giving me the same response. Even though her eyes were shut, tears began to slowly stream down her face. I sniffled for a moment before I began to cry as well. I wrapped myself around my mother once more, and I held on tightly. Even though I didn’t want to, I knew it was time for her to fall. I took one final glance at my mother. At the woman who had loved me since the day I was born. At her smile which had lifted so many spirits on gloomy days. At her hair which seemed to grow greyer and thinner by the second. At her hands that seemed to slowly loosen their grip on me with every passing moment. I shut my eyes, took a deep breath, and. . . I let her go. There was nothing but silence. The heart monitor flatlined. I clung to my mother even though I knew the only thing left of her was her body. Eventually, I looked up. I opened my eyes once more. The first thing I saw was the open window on the side of the room. The sky was so blue. The sun was so bright. The wind was blowing ever so subtly. The day was perfect.