text: It was always so peaceful in the tub. I’m not sure how or why but it was like clockwork - get in the steaming bathtub and suddenly, the mood was perfect. The sun would lay low in the sky and cast long drawn-out shadows along the floor tiles, there were never any sounds from the outside world, just me and the bubbles. Today was no different. As I slowly lowered myself into the water, it was like the surface cleansed my very soul with every inch I submerged. It was glorious. It was exactly what I needed. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes. It didn’t matter how many times I did it, soaking in warm water was always the answer to everything. I don’t know how long I was there for but the warm summer sun was still up; couldn’t have been long. When I opened my eyes, I saw my bruised and scratched legs. They weren’t bleeding anymore but they were still tender. There were covered in large, angry purple bruises. One look and I started to sob, not from the injuries - I’d been numb to them for a long time - but from the sadness and emptiness I felt. I cried and cried. Hot tears poured from my eyes into the hot water. My whole body heaved with every gasping breath. I wailed and wept until the moon was high in the night sky. It watched as my eyes dried up and I could cry no more. I sniffed and composed myself. I gathered water in my palms and rinsed my puffy face. Crying was never pretty but I could make myself feel better. The water had gone cold but I didn’t want to get out. I felt safe in the water and didn’t want to leave the embrace of the still fragrant liquids. I stirred it with a finger and, for a second, I thought it had started to warm up again, to recapture the energy that had been lost. How stupid of me. How could I think that *anything* would ever come back? Years of coming and going and this was where it all ended. Or where it would all begin. Who knew? I just knew I was going to have to figure out a way to make this work; I was going to be here for a while, after all. I gingerly raised myself out of the water and looked out to the old world with new eyes. Yup, this was my home now and I was going to have to learn to love it. I stepped out of the water and stretched. Aches and pains screamed out all over my back, begging me not to move, but this was just the first of many trials I was going to face, and physical pain would be the least of my problems. I walked into the bedroom and up to the mirror, naked as the day I was born. I stared at my battle-scarred body in the bright light of the full moon. It was impressive. Lithe, long, slim limbs held strong arms and legs that had been shaped by centuries of fighting. It was almost perfect. But one thing stood out, something that I’d lived with my whole life. The emptiness screamed at me. I reached out and traced arches over the shoulders of my reflection. Although they were no longer there, I could still see my wings. It would take some time but I would eventually forget that I no longer had their familiar weight on my back. I stepped back and faced the night sky. I would never soar among the stars again. I would never plummet to the earth and catch the wind beneath me at the very last second just for thrills. But that was the old me. The new me was going to fight a different battle. The new me was going to win. I’d lost and already paid the ultimate price; life as a human for eternity. I made a promise there - if this was what I was going to be, then I was going to do it on my terms.