text: I fell into a routine of spending my mornings asking about Sannaz and my afternoons on the Deer Drum boat. I would sit and talk to Kurbani and Mirai as Lachlann continued to teach Novak songs on the guitar. In the background Xander would tend to his plants, the pole beans now two feet high. Daily he would give me updates on how the plants were doing, and how much he was looking forward to his nautical harvest. Alessia continued to be around sporadically, taking small runs whenever she could. I decided to walk down to the quay with her as she departed on her next trip. “How long is the route?” I asked as we turned a corner to see the ocean in front of us. “A week, probably. You missing me already?” She smirked, raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes. “You know I do.” “Kind of miss having you on the boat too.” She smiled, before settling into a toying grin. “You know, kind of.” I laughed. “I assume you’ve stolen my room for your own stuff?” Alessia waved her arm. “Pfft. Nah. Extra cargo space. Earn more.” We both chuckled, but our smiled and walk ground to a halt as we reached Alessia’s boat. The conversation could only last provided we stopped walking. “Stay safe out there, won’t you?” I said, looking down. “I... don’t know where I’d be without you.” Alessia smiled, then forced her face to a flat line. “Bribe your way onto another boat and sail off I imagine. But you stay safe too.” “I’ll be fine. It’s good to have the Deer Drum lot around. Besides, I kind of like it here.” “Yeah?” Alessia’s voice went oddly flat. “This place just seems to have it figured out. Just allowing people to do what they want. Sure, some people make bad choices, but at least they get to choose .” Alessia winced. “You really think this place is nice?” “Don’t you?” “I don’t know. And neither do you.” Her tone shifted. “How much of the island you seen? Other than the town, the docks, and the Deer Drum boat?” “I’ve walked around the coast a bit-” “Head inland. Go to the middle of the island.” She nodded over my shoulder. “What’s there?” “I don’t know.” Alessia shrugged. “But neither do you. Head that way. The rich shits always live by the water.” I scrunched my face and leaned back. “We’re not rich.” Alessia snorted. “Oh but we are. There are plenty wealthier than us, but so many more lower.” She briefly glanced behind her, eyeing up the water and wind. “Look, Ferdinand. I know you, you love to go out and see places and explore. But all you’ve done since we’ve got here is stay within the same town you already know. It ain’t you. To stay where you feel comfortable. Go be Ferdinand. Go be uncomfortable.” I paused. There was an instinctual reactance to what Alessia said, but truth be told, I already knew she was right. Instead, I just forced a smile. “See you in a week?” “Yeah. Go do some actual exploring like you say you want to, okay?” Alessia laid a hand on my arm. She held eye contact for a second, then slowly turned and walked down the jetty. I began walking back towards the town, but instead of turning left and heading along the quay, I kept walking past the tall white buildings that pressed up against the pavement. I continued as the pavement beneath my feet changed from brick, to cobblestone, to gravel, and then,into nothing more than trodden dirt weaving between the grass.The town left behind me. Summer was arriving. And as the sun broke through the clouds, I could feel a warmth on my neck. A heat that penetrated the skin, scratching at the muscle beneath. Alessia was right. I had left Kadear to explore, but I had retreated. I had found something comfortable and enveloped myself like a cocoon. I took the security of our small apartment on Talin Barier and decided I wanted nothing more. The fear and memories of Outer Fastanet had erode that part of me. It was time to be somewhere unknown again, to not let the apprehension and worries prevent me from pursuing that old itch. As I walked away from the town, that heat on my neck slowly shifted from a burn to a spark, a warmth lit within me, as my feet took me over the soft rolling hills. Soon, the coast was nowhere to be seen. Instead, lines of tall pine trees ran across the hillside. Wild flowers bloomed in the sunshine, the green mass broken by spots of blue, pink, and white. In the distance, I could hear the hum of bees taking advantage of what the blossoms provided. I followed the path until it reached the top of the next hill. As I looked over the top I saw a town in the valley below. It was roughly the same size as the main settlement by the coast, however it was considerably flatter. The tallest buildings were at best a short two storeys. They were smaller too, each no larger than a room. I walked down the hill towards the settlement. I could feel a trepidation flickering in my chest, a brief spasm in the muscles that told me to stop. However, I remembered Alessia’s instructions, and pushed through the nervousness. As I got closer the meadow gave way to dry compacted earth broken by the occasional large bush, A thousand feet that had trampled down the plants until only the largest remained:, those so big that feet had to go around rather than through. I turned right and headed down a wide street. Many of the buildings had no windows at all, those that did seemed to have small square cutaways, metal bars where glass should be. I could see cracks in the buildings. Worse still, spot the spaces where some had fallen down, the space cleared out and a simple canvas tent placed in its stead. I felt like I had travelled to a different island. Only on Bluekira had I seen such a contrast from one place to the next. There was a small stream that ran between the buildings, the shallow water broken by stones no more than a hand’s width in size. Yet, downstream, I could see men and women taking advantage of it as best they could, slowly filling up old wooden buckets, or trying to wash clothes in the brook. They worked tirelessly, yet their limbs looked frail. Skin clung to bony joints. Their faces were pallid, and their throats sagged from their jaws, the muscles lacking the protein to cling to the skin. I turned around, trying to keep an eye on my peripheral at all times. I couldn’t shake the sensation that something could happen at any moment. I began counting the entrances on either side, each one no more than a few metres apart. The homes were tiny, bunched together, rammed into every available space. Some entrances had actual doors, while others were simply a piece of wood propped up against the entranceway, or even nothing more than a sheet draped across/ My eye was caught as a door to my left opened. I recognized the face of the woman who walked out. It was Maia, the woman I met in the courtyard a month or so earlier. I was unsure if she would recognize me, yet I felt certain I had to talk to someone. “Maia...” I started hesitantly. She turned to face me. “I’m not sure if you remember me. We met a while back. At the courtyard...” She looked at me for a moment, studying my face until something clicked. “Oh yes. You dropped some money. Ferdinand right? Are you lost?” “No. I’m just... exploring.” It had been a while since I had said that aim. The words had begun to feel alien again. “You live here?” I pointed to the door. She nodded with a look of slight confusion. “This town, it’s...” I looked around at the cracked walls and the poorly made earthen buildings looking for an inoffensive term. “A slum?” Maia laughed. “I’m sorry,” I bowed my head. “I hadn’t ventured this way since I got here. I assumed everywhere was like the town by the water.” She forced a smile, but her eyes hid a bitterness. “If only we could all live there.” I stood for a second with my mouth open, unable to find the words. “You look like you want to say something,” Maia prompted. “Ever since I got to Talin I was told this place was about letting people choose what they wanted to do. But, I’m guessing you don’t live here by choice.” Maia looked down the road towards the stream. “I choose this over no home at all. But anything better costs more than I can afford. Choose from what we have.” “No chance to move somewhere nicer with time? The island seems rich enough?” “Those who own the buildings and the quays can choose what to do with their money. They choose not to spend it here. Who needs food or water when you got freedom, ay?” She lifted one corner of her lip in an ironic smile. “I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn-” “It’s fine.” Maia cut me off. “But I should be going into town. Work to get to.” “Did you get that job with Eda?” I asked with a smile, sensing a happier topic of conversation. “Hopefully. Probably. Going back and forth on the exact salary. Will be a lot better for me if I can. Would mean my boy can grow up secure.” “You have a son?” “He’s over there.” She pointed to a small group of children playing at the end of the road, jumping between squares drawn in the dirt. Their faces looked around eight or nine, but their frames were small. “Will you move to the main town?” Her eyes stretched, strained. “No. But it’ll mean he will keep a roof over his head, and enough to eat till he’s a man and can make his own way.” She stared at her son, a soft - genuine - smile crept across her face. “If... I can help you get that job in any way.” “If Eda asks about me, sure, put in a good word. But, what’ll be will be.” She looked at the sun, then to the shadows by our feet. “I’m sorry. I really should get going.” Maia left and walked up the dusty path. I thought back to that coin she had handed me when we first met. That coin would maybe be lunch to me, a little break as I relaxed by the ocean. In reality, it was insignificant. But I wondered what it could’ve bought her. Clothes for her son? A week's food? She could’ve kept the coin and I would maybe never have known I lost it. Yet the moment of kindness cost her so much more. She left the village and turned left. It was then I saw a figure emerging from one of the buildings in front of me. I squinted, making sure it was definitely the same man from Deer Drum. There was no mistaking it. Lachlann was here. He didn't notice me, turning and walking up the street. I began following him, slowly closing the distance. I could’ve called out from where I was and gotten his attention, but I also still wanted to make some sense of his presence here in this slum. I followed in silence until we had left the town, the dirt ground slowly transitioning back to the wild grasses. “Lachlann!” I called out. He turned to face me in a sudden swivel. He had a brief look of apprehension, before the face softened. “Ferdinand! I didn’t expect to see you out here.” “I could say the same to you,” I said with a wide grin, but with eyes that were narrowed on him ever so slightly. Lachlan laughed. “You’re not the only one who likes to see the islands. You heading back to the town? I’ll walk with you.” We began walking up the hill, once more lush nature circled around us as the dust and grime was left behind. “Xander was telling me you often go exploring the islands." “Yeah. Something nice about getting to meet people, hear about their lives. You must understand that?" “I do.” I nodded, before looking back over my shoulder at the tight spread of small dilapidated houses. “Even when the place is like this.” “Ah yeah,” Lachlann said, stopping and turning to look back at the town. “This part of Talin Barier isn’t necessarily the happiest story you could find.” “I didn’t even know this place existed till today. I...” I hesitated, feeling a moment of shame. "I guess I thought everyone lived by the sea." “I’m sure they'd be there if they could,” Lachlann said with a solitary chortle. I let out a long sigh. “So much for freedom.” “Oh, they have freedom,” Lachlann turned to face me. “It’s choice they lack. Unfortunately they aren’t the same.” I began walking up the hill once more. “I didn’t know you weren’t originally from Deer Drum?” His eyes looked to the sky wistfully. “Yeah. Didn’t find my way there till I was an adult.” “Where’d you come from originally?” I asked. He paused for a second. He turned and looked back towards the slum in the valley below. "Story for another time maybe. Meanwhile, I'd love to hear about what you'd been up to since Tima." We continued up over the hill as I told Lachlann about our travels. \ Next chapter 9th December.