text: I could hear the terrible ruckus from my linen closet. Pots and pans clattering about. My good dinner plates shattering on the floor. I cursed under my breath as I doubled my efforts to find those blasted extra-large towels. Both to dry my soaked person and to try and contain... Whatever that *thing* was. I rushed back into the chaos of my kitchen. The *beast* was in the same place where he had burst out of; except instead of in a pot, he was now curled up directly on top of the largest burner of my stove. His unintentional black incubator upside down, spilling its soup of broken eggshell and water all over the tile. Large shards of what was left of this creature's egg gleamed an iridescent greeting to me under the fluorescent lights as I returned. The remnants of what was supposed to be the rest of my dinner and the utensils I was using to make it scattered about on the counter. *Ostrich egg my ass,* I thought as I turned my attention to the scaly animal that had turned my relaxing night on its head. During the chaos that ensued in my absence from the kitchen, he must have accidentally flicked the burner controls to full, because my stovetop was now spewing flames. The... lizard? I suppose lizard would be most appropriate. The lizard sat unbothered amid the small inferno in my kitchen. Fire licking at his skin. It seemed almost as if he was drawing some sort of strength from the blaze. His pale scales drinking from the blue flames, turning iridescent for a bit just like the inside of his egg, before settling into a deep red. He must have sensed me staring because he lifted his head to stare back with piercing orange eyes. The gaze snapped me out of whatever trance watching his scales had put me in. Was this animal dangerous? Probably. But could I afford a huge gas bill this month? No, that was out of the question. "Up! Up, up, up!!! Get off of there you mongrel!" I shouted as I approached the stove, minding my broken plates, and banging a toe on one of the many pots on the floor. Using the towels I brought I, I grabbed the stove knobs one by one and shut off the fire. This did not please my unwanted guest at all, and he began to unfurl itself as he hissed in protest. Curled up he was maybe a meter across, but in his annoyance, I became frightfully aware of how large this creature was. Its body may have been only a meter, but the long powerful looking tail attached to him spilled onto the floor and easily doubled his size. As he rose, he stretched out a pair of leathery wings that were probably four meters from tip to pointed tip. A sharp tapping noise made me painfully aware of the nasty talons he had on all four feet. A snort returned my attention to his head which was adorned with horns and a mouth full of tiny daggers. He screeched. I yelped. And as he lunged at me, I slipped on the wet mess beneath me throwing up the towels I had brought. My fall probably saved me from a world of much worse pain as the lizard ran into the towels instead; tangling himself in them as his leap carried him across my kitchen island and into a wall. The impact shook more things loose, and my future self just got a much larger mess to clean up. Clawing my way back onto my feet, I turned to where the beast had landed. Thankfully, his frustration was no longer directed towards me as he now struggled with the towels that now ensnared him. He looked almost cute fighting with the garments like one of those cats walked into a plastic bag. My admiration of the fight was broken by a bowl that rolled across my island, spilling flour as it did. *If I don't stop him now, I'm going to spend the whole weekend renovating this place.* I thought. "Hey! Quit it!" I barked at the writhing mess of scale and towel. Much to my surprise, he appeared to listen and stopped his struggle. The lizard peered at me through a towel covering part of its snout, looking almost disappointed that I was angry with him. *If that was possible,* I thought. I made my way over to the creature, squatting down in front of him. He no longer appeared frustrated, and in an act that could have cost me my arm, I slowly reached towards his head. Luckily for me, all he did was watch as I removed the towel covering his snout. I met those piercing orange eyes again; their slits widened and shrank as the creature looked me over. "Well we can't have you on the floor, now can we?" I asked him. The lizard tilted its head almost as if it agreed with me. Carefully and slowly, I placed my hands around him in a manner that would grant me the proper leverage and began to rise. The creature was surprisingly light, and as I stood his arms hugged me back. Not wanting to risk trashing more of my abode, I set him on the already messy kitchen counter. Like a cat, he sat down on his haunches, tail curled politely over his feet. Once he left my embrace however he began to shiver. *Ah, you must be cold-blooded! Well, raising the temperature won't cost me anything this time of year." I thought as I turned to my thermostat and turned up the heat a little. The increased temperature didn't do much to quell the lizard's shivering though, and the clattering of his claws on the granite continued. "I'm sorry but turning my stove into a mini hellfire for you again is off the table," I told him. "However, we might be able to fix your problem another way," I said as I picked up one of the towels strewn about the room. After a few tense moments of faffing about with the lizard's tail and wings, I had managed to use what towels I had to wrap him up into a little burrito. "With how much you remind me of a cat, I'm tempted to call you a purrito," I informed him. And as if to confirm my comparisons the creature chuffed in response. "Well, you just stay put and out of trouble right here while I give the good Doctor a call and figure out this mess, ok?" I told the lizard. Instead of agreeing with me this time, the creature whined and started to struggle in his cocoon. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry but you've demonstrated that you're not ready to be set loose yet. This is just a temporary arrangement, ok? You'll get plenty of room in no time whenever you get sent to whatever reserve you belong at," I assured him. This, however, did not seem to satisfy the lizard, and his struggle continued. *I can't have him getting free and making a mess again. Ok, ok. Think. He’s a baby, right? He probably wants something. Um... lizards don't drink milk, do they? No, they don't. Ok, so maybe he's hungry! That must be it!* "Hold on one second, I'll get you something," I told him as I searched through the wreck of my kitchen for the venison that I intended to prepare tonight. I found my main course on the floor near the pot that once contained what I thought was an ostrich egg. Returning to the bundled-up lizard, I dangled the meat above his mouth. He stretched his neck and snapped up the cut whole, narrowly missing my fingers. I yelped again and inspected my hand for any damage. The lizard trilled happily as if he was laughing after a joke he had played on me. "Ahaha, very funny. You're a real joker, aren't you?" I gently scolded. "Well, try not to take off my hand while I feed you the rest, ok?" After tossing him all my former dinner, the creature nestled into his swaddle and fell asleep. Gently the purrito rising and falling gently as he breathed. I took the welcome much welcome calm to grab a sandwich from my fridge and make my way to my living room to collapse on my couch. After some much-needed nourishment, I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet; searching through its contents until I found the card I was looking for. Punched in in purple and gold lettering was, "Doctor Anthony Burmak, Professional appraiser, exotic items vendor, and..." I read the business card aloud and trailed off as I noticed a descriptor that I was sure wasn't there when I received it. "Alchemist..." I finished. *Of course, this guy is some sort of kook and sold me a weird lizard egg when I went in. Ugh, I should have known better than to buy an "ostrich egg," to try out. He’s probably some endangered species. No doubt I'll be put on a list or something for having bought it. Ugh.* I turned the card over where a phone number was punched in the same color scheme as the front. Beneath the number was a message encouraging customers to call at any hour. I pulled out my phone and glanced at the clock. *11:54 P.M. Doubt he'll be up, but it's worth a shot.* I dialed the number and anxiously hoped that he would pick up. Just as the seventh ring finished and I started to think I wouldn't get through, the phone on the other end clicked. "Hello? Is this Anthony Burmak?" I asked. "Yes, this is **Doctor** Anthony Burmak speaking. Mister Kareem, I presume," a staticky voice responded. "Right, Doctor. My Apologies. Listen, I know it's late and you must be getting ready to close up shop so-" "Oh no, it's not too late at all! I always pride myself on my customer service. Is this about the ostrich egg? I told you you'd want to buy more than one. They are quite delectable after all!" the Doctor interrupted. "No, it's not about the ostrich egg. Well, actually it is. Look, I think-" "I'm sorry to say I used whatever eggs I had left for my supper, but I can assure you that I'll have a fresh shipment on Monday! I'll make sure you get first pick!" the Doctor continued. "**Look!** I don't mean to be rude Doctor, but I've had one hell of a night. I think you sold me the wrong type of egg. It's... It's some sort of..." I had been hesitant to use the word, but now it only seemed appropriate. "I think you sold me a *dragon* egg. Err... Ok. That may be a tad bit crazy but he’s some sort of liz-" "Did you say *dragon*?" "Yeah, that sounds crazy now that I've said it aloud. He’s probably some sort of exotic lizard, could you just get this bef-" "Daegan, that buffoon! Mister Kareem, are you ok? Has it hatched? Where is it?" I was starting to get tired of the interruptions. "Yes Doc, I'm fine. He hatched maybe an hour ago when I was making dinner. Right now he’s on my kitchen island, I've fed him and swaddled him in a couple of towels to keep him warm. Listen, I really would appre-" "Has anyone else seen it? Have you told anyone else about it???" "No, it's just you and me who know about him, we're not in trouble with any authorities yet. Look, I would appreciate it if you could stop cut-" "I'll be there within an hour! Don't leave! Don't let anyone else see it! And don't let it out of your home!!!" "Doctor, you don't even know where I- *click* - Hello? Doctor? Burmak??? Oh great." I grumbled to myself sinking into my couch. I tried calling the number back to no avail. *Great, now my only hope at help is going to be running around the city and I have no way to get in touch with him. I glanced at the time on my phone again. *Midnight. Well, might as well get a head start on cleaning that kitchen.* I ducked into the kitchen again to make sure the one responsible for the mess was still asleep. Thankfully, their bundle rose and fell with the same rhythm assuring me they were still tuckered out. I didn’t want to risk waking him up while cleaning, so I picked gently up the... *The dragon.* I gently picked up the dragon. he stirred a bit in his swaddle but calmed down as I quickly began shushing. Carrying the dragon to the living room I gently placed him on the couch. Now that any I could safely begin cleaning, I walked back over to my sink and opened the basin drawer to fish for that box of cleaning supplies I kept. Forty-five minutes probably passed before I heard I light knocking on my front door. *Oh great! Who is it at this hour? Well, at least they didn’t use the bell* I passed by my couch to check on the dragon before making my way to the door. I unlocked it and cracked it open. “Hey... Dr. Burmak!” I exclaimed. Sure enough, the short, eccentric man was standing on my porch. He was shrouded in a brown cloak, no doubt wearing that weird tan tunic underneath, and carrying a carpetbag. His tanned, square face was slightly wrinkled with smile lines and crow’s feet. *He certainly smiled a lot at his emporium when I was there.* I couldn’t tell how old he was, but his head was surprisingly thick with fading brown hair. If he wore a toupee, he did a damn good job hiding it. “Hello Mister Kareem, I’m glad to see you’re doing alright. May I come in?” “Hmmm, oh! Yeah, yeah! Please come in,” I unfastened my chain lock and opened the door all the way. “How did you know where I-” the Doctor brushed past me, placing his bag down to remove his cloak before picking it up again and placing his cloak on my coat rack, turning to me. “Please, where is the dragon?” The annoyance of being cut off paled in comparison to how stumped I was by the Doctor’s arrival. “Right, he’s sleeping on the couch,” I motioned for him to follow me to the living room. Just as I left it, the dragon still slept peacefully on my old couch. The Doctor sharply took in some air, “It’s magnificent!” “Yeah, he was quite the sight. Hey, um... Doctor what kind of ‘dragon’ is he. I’ve never seen a lizard like this before. I know there are those Komodo Dragons or whatever, are they related?” I inquired, slightly surprised I hadn’t been interrupted. Dr. Burmak waved his hand dismissively. “No, no. This isn’t any ordinary lizard. This is an actual dragon. The kind that you would have heard about in stories and folk tales,” he responded. “But Doc, that’s crazy. Dragons... dragons aren’t real” I nervously laughed. Dr. Burmak glanced wryly towards me. Lying before us was a bona fide dragon. I had seen him sit atop flames like it was nothing, I saw his wings. For goodness sake, I had my hands all over him while wrapping him up in my towels. But still, it was like I needed someone else to say what I had been thinking the past few hours for it to truly register as true. “Oh boy. Oh boy!” I grabbed my temples. I searched for one of those foldable chairs I kept around so I could sit down and take it all in. “’ Oh boy,’ Indeed Mister Kareem,” responded the Doctor, placing his bag down and opening it. “There hasn’t been a dragon sighted in this world for almost three and a half centuries now. And for some strange reason, none of the eggs left would hatch either. I had always assumed that it was in part due to the strange energy flow over the past century. But clearly, there was also some sort of mana factor that I-” “This world? Centuries? Planet-mana whatchamacallit? Doc, what are you talking about?” This time it was my turn to cut him off. The Doctor stopped talking to himself and rummaging through his bag to look at me, “Ah yes, this must be all very, very overwhelming for you.” “Ya think?” He chuckled, “Yes, my bad. Now tell me, Mister Kareem, ha-“ “’ Mister,’ makes me feel old Doc, please just call me Kareem.” “Alright then. Kareem, has anyone else become aware of the dragon in the time it took me to get here?” “No... no. It’s still just you and me.” “Excellent, I’ll leave you to your thoughts while I perform a quick check-up on our little friend here.” I quietly observed as the Doctor pulled out a leather-bound notebook and flipped over to some pre-marked page. He then pulled out a variety of tools from the bag and organized them on the couch next to the sleeping dragon. He took what appeared to be a thermometer and stuck it gently into the dragon’s slightly ajar maw. He recorded measurement and went to remove the tool, but despite his deliberate movements, the baby awoke. Seeing a strange man leering over it, the baby began to wriggle and whine again. I quickly stood up to comfort it. “Shhhh. Shhhhh. It’s ok. He’s a friend, it’s ok. He won’t hurt you.” I comforted the dragon, patting its swaddle. Thankfully, the baby calmed down, and instead took an interest in the new room it was in. “Hah, it’s almost like he can understand me, Doctor. I think you should be able to get back to work on him. He doesn’t seem very aggressive. Nothing like the dragons I read about in stories as a kid.” The Doctor picked up another tool, “Yes well, stories and legends do tend to get a bit out of hand. Also, **she,** can understand you. Well, to an extent. Communication will improve later down the line.” “Back up a second Doc, how do you know what gender he... err... she, is? Also, what do you mean ‘later down the line,’ aren’t you taking hi-*her,* with you?” Dr. Burmak continued to work as he explained, “A dragon’s gender is determined by the temperature the egg is incubated at.” “Like an alligator?” “Exactly! Now, I doubt your stove can produce high enough temperatures necessary to hatch a male dragon, so she must be female.” The dragon trilled as if to approve of the Doctor’s statements. “Now, as for my statements about the long run, this dragon has imprinted on you. You are, as far as she is concerned, her guardian. Now, I would have much more preferred it if she had hatched closer to my emporium among other things, but for now, she will have to remain in your house. It’s too risky to try and transport her at this time.” “Now, here is a short manual I compiled for you before I left, it should cover everything you might immediately need to know about caring for your new charge,” the Doctor took out a small notebook and pressed it into my hands. “It is of utmost importance that you do not let anyone else know this creature exists, as well as make sure it stays out of sight and in your house until I can find an appropriate housing solution.” Dr. Burmak then reached into his bag to pull out a sack, “These are some supplies that I think you’ll need. The manual will explain what each item is and is used for, you should have enough in here to last you the weekend,” he said handing me the heavy sack. “Now then,” He stood up. “While I would love to stay and help you get acclimated to your new responsibilities, I’m afraid I have to rush back. There are many things I must prepare for given recent events, as well as a ward I must scold for being careless with handling merchandise. Best of luck Kareem, I will be in touch with you soon.” Before I could ask any more questions, Dr. Burmak had packed his belongings, retrieved his cloak, and started on his way back to his emporium. I sat down, trying to process the sudden torrent of information and turn of events. The dragon looked at me, still swaddled in her towel burrito she began to purr. I returned her orange gaze. *Well, it's not like I had anything exciting planned this weekend anyways.* Getting up, I plopped down on the couch next to her. Her purring became more intense. I scratched her muzzle, “You sure you’re not related to cats somehow?” I asked her. She chuffed in response. I wasn’t exactly sure if it was a chuff of agreement this time. “Well, I’ve got some reading to do, mind keeping me company?” She trilled, and I knew exactly what she meant this time.