text: It was *almost* easy to be swept away by the sweetness when Jeff showed up. He waited outside a Town Car's open door, a bouquet of white roses resting on his forearm. Caroline digested the whole picture bit by bit to give herself time to process. Despite the lack of formal wear, she had flashbacks to her prom, which was not a memory she wanted to revisit. She made herself take the next step toward him while she squashed thoughts of her past. He looked absolutely dashing in his deep blue button-down shirt and black slacks, belted with an ornate silver buckle. She fidgeted with her purse strap - more stalling meant to prevent her from turning on her heel and running away screaming - and swallowed her anxiety to push forward the rest of the way. Jeff kissed her on the cheek and helped her into the car. Thoughts swarmed in Caroline’s head and she worried he could hear the dissonance as loudly as she could. “Did you hear me, Care?” The voice cut through the buzzing. She squeezed her eyes shut, opened them again, and turned to face him. “Sorry, I was just overwhelmed with how fancy this all is!” It was her hope that she effectively presented excitement, though what really lived inside was panic. It was like being trapped in a cage and not knowing when she’d get out. “Heh, yeah. I’ve had a long time to think about how I wanted to do this.” The compulsion to gulp and widen her eyes was powerful, but she resisted nonetheless. “It’s lovely, Jeff. Thank you.” When he smiled back at her, she knew her attempt at her own smile was successful. “So where are we going, anyway?” “Just a little steakhouse I know downtown. Is that okay? I can call and cancel the reservation if there’s somewhere else you’d rather go...” It seemed it was Jeff’s turn to panic. The kind consideration eased her own dread just slightly, along with the amusement at his eagerness to please her. “No, of course. That’s great. You went to all the trouble, I couldn’t possibly spoil it.” Once her heart was beating at a normal rate again, she turned toward the window to watch the buildings and the people striding along the sidewalks, and all the while she could feel Jeff’s gaze on her. They were seated near a window where they overlooked docks on the channel. Of *course* he pulled out her chair for her and ordered them a bottle of champagne. She wondered what the occasion was but by the time she thought she might ask, he was already talking to her about everything under the sun. As she surveyed the rest of the dining room, she noticed couples in various stages of their romances. Some clinking glasses or making moony eyes at one another and she tunes in and out of the conversation at her own table, noting that Jeff hopes to have a dog someday and he enjoys his job, though she can’t for the life of her remember what exactly he does. She does remember to occasionally smile and nod to show she’s listening but ultimately settles her eyes on her bubbling glass of champagne. A glittery sphere catches her attention. For a moment, she thought there was an image of her mother working in her old basement workshop. She blinked and it was a normal glass of champagne again, so she picked it up and took a long sip. The rest of the evening was both uneventful and surprising. When Jeff dropped her back home, instead of asking to come up, he kissed her mouth hard and said he couldn’t wait to do this again. He didn’t wait for her to return the kiss or say goodbye before sliding back into the Town Car and taking off. Instead of the post-date fantasizing in every romantic comedy in the history of ever, Caroline’s mind decided to fixate on her lack of fulfillment. Her experience lent her no helping hand in that department as she had no idea what to expect from such a sensation. Was satisfaction in a relationship supposed to feel like what she got from her banal position at work? Did it mean she wouldn’t question their connection? Jeff Williams was a sweet, classically chivalrous guy. He still sought answers for a more committed relationship, but Caroline deflected like an expert. After all, it *was* her job. She *wanted* to give him what he was asking for. But, couldn’t - it was like something was just out of her reach, but she had no idea what it was. Her mind was constantly running, searching for what that missing puzzle piece was. Her usual immersion in work became much more useful. Every moment spent in a spreadsheet daze was a moment she didn’t have to think about why Jeff wasn’t enough for her. Was it possible that she was the one that wasn’t enough? The romantic dates to various dinner locales continued for weeks. They ranged from mom and pop diners to elegant and classy joints she never dreamed she’d be able to afford. He always took care of the bill, though, so that was never a worry. She had to hand it to the old-fashioned guy, it was a massive load off her shoulders. The problem was that she wasn’t always present on their dinner dates. Her mind would drift to the ray of sunshine that graced her offices. In her mind, the woman glowed like an angel in the movies. That golden aura of light and glitter surrounded her. Sometimes, she even envisioned a halo. It seemed that Greta was there more often than not recently, but that didn’t bother Caroline one bit. She’d be sitting in her office doing her mindless duties and a glorious goddess would come by to shine her light with a dazzling smile and adorable wave. It melted Caroline into a puddle and she couldn’t put her finger on why. The heat started to ramp up nearer to summer. Caroline, being her usual modest self, continued to wear her professional outfits of tailored slacks and blouses covered with either a cardigan or complimentary blazer. While everyone else was getting relief by loosening up on their own levels of professionalism and indulging in noisy, disruptive fans of various sizes and shapes, she sat damp at her desk, plucking away at the tasks on her lists. Finally, a day came when she could no longer bear it. She pulled away her top layer - a light cardigan that cut at the waist. It almost gave the illusion of a womanly shape hiding under the clothing. Of course, she was going to reveal that for the lie it was and expose skin. The thought made her shudder, but she knew if she didn’t, she would pass out from the heat and get even less work done than she had since the start of the summer. The view outside got much more interesting as the sun beamed down on the city. People flocked to the beaches - it looked like thousands - though Caroline was not about to count. The scantily clad ladies traipsed through the sands, laid in the sun on beach towels, and dipped into the water at choreographed intervals. Sit, lotion, lay, flip, dip, repeat. A tapping of high heels pulled her from the reality show in the window. That sound only meant one thing. Greta was in the office and was about to grace Caroline with whatever magic the angel possessed that had her so mesmerized. The familiar face passed by the window, and unlike usual, stopped in the threshold of Caroline’s office. This was an odd change of pace and she became increasingly aware of the sweat in her palms. “Warm today, isn’t it.” It was more a statement than a question. Her eyes glanced away from Caroline’s eyes to inspect the rest of her. She noticed a difference. Caroline grew self-conscious suddenly and reached for one of her exposed shoulders. That seemed to draw even more of Greta’s attention. Caroline’s cheeks flushed. She cleared her throat. “It must be nice to get to play at the beach and dip into the cool waters when you need a break.” She drew her eyes away to look out the window once more. Greta stepped farther into the office to see the view. “So it seems. Will you be going to the beach to join in the fun?” “Oh! Definitely not! The beach isn’t really my thing.” “Where I come from, the beach is mostly reserved for the stoners and hippies. I’m more welcome in the resort and gym pools. I suppose it suits me better anyway. No dangerous sun to eat away at my skin.” She inspected her arms as if to look for sunspots. Of course, there weren’t any. She was perfect. Caroline finally noticed how close Greta was. She could smell her light perfume, sweet and floral. Perhaps it was her shampoo and conditioner. Her hair was perfect. And... *Oh, shit she was staring.* Greta didn’t seem to notice, so she looked down at her own hands. The force it took was unbelievable. What power did this woman hold over her? Why was Caroline so damn captivated? *Saved by the bell.* Caroline’s office phone rang. Greta excused herself to let her take the call. Caroline mouthed a ‘sorry’ and a smile was given in return. The next day, as Caroline left the office, Greta clacked her heels over. “Hey, Caroline.” She was slightly out of breath. “Afternoon, Miss Habernathy.” “Oh, you can just call me Greta.” “Right, Greta. Are you heading home, too?” Caroline placed the stamp she’d borrowed yet again from Janet on the reception counter. Janet smiled gratefully and took it to replace it in the drawer. “I’m not sure yet. I was actually wondering if you’re busy.” “Oh, uh. I don’t really have any plans, I guess. Why? What’s up?” “Would you like to get a drink with me? I was just thinking the bar at my hotel. It’s convenient and nice enough.” Caroline had to stop her eyes from widening with shock. “Erm, yeah. Cool, sure. That would be great.” Janet chose that moment to giggle quietly, but she was polite enough to cover it by clearing her throat. *What was her deal?* “Great, I’ll let you finish up here and meet you in the lobby downstairs. We can walk together.” Caroline’s first thought was a question about Greta walking any distance in those heels. “Okay, that sounds good. See you in a few minutes.” Greta walked in the direction of the stairwell and Caroline turned back to Janet. “Is there any mail I need to see before I go?” Janet had been hiding a grin throughout the whole exchange that happened in front of her, but as they spoke, it grew more and more evident. “There’s the package that has been sitting here for forever now, but I suppose if you haven’t needed it by now, it’s probably not urgent.” “Ah, right! Sorry about that, Janet. Really. Um, here. Let me take it and I’ll put it in my office so it doesn’t take up all your space.” “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’ll take it to your office for you. You go off and have fun with your new friend.” Caroline suspected the emphasis she put on “friend” was meant to imply something, but she let it go. “You are a godsend, Janet. Thank you!” She tapped the countertop and waved at Janet as she dashed off the elevator door. She tapped the button repeatedly as if that would somehow make it arrive faster. When it didn’t work, she opted for the stairs at a swift jog. In the lobby, Greta was making small talk with one of the doormen. She perked up and smiled when she noticed Caroline. She said her goodbyes to the gentleman and caught up with Caroline, slipping her arm around hers. It shot electricity up her arm and throughout her entire body. “That was Amos. He’s been working in this building for eleven years! And he’s been a doorman for even longer. Can you imagine?” Greta’s interest in this man that Caroline had failed to ever notice until now was refreshing. “I can’t. He must really love opening doors.” Greta cast a sideways glance at Caroline and gave her an amused smirk. “He really does like what he does, but I don’t think it is about opening doors.” The rest of their walk was full of banter as Greta pointed out things she’d learned since her arrival nearly a month ago. Caroline felt like a tourist in her own town, but grateful because she’d never gotten to know the place on her own. The experience made her feel more comfortable not only with the environment but also with Greta. It turned out that she was not a quiet woman. She loved to talk and every word she said was interesting. And she had a sense of humor. Quite a lovely one at that. She was amused by the smallest of things and she was not shy about sharing her angelic laughter. In a blink of an eye, they were at the bar and Greta ordered them sparkling wines. She hadn’t asked what Caroline drank before doing so, but she didn’t mind. They talked for hours and hours. Greta touched her a lot and talked with her hands. The eye contact was constant and thrilling. Her eyes were deep and full of magic. They sparkled whenever Greta spoke about things that interested her. Caroline’s mind wandered while Greta spoke. There had to be something wrong with her, right? She could not be as perfect as she seemed. Where’s the pain and darkness? Is she really just a being made of light? Of course she was.