text: Rapunzel (the uncensored original) There was once a man and his husband, who for many years had longed for a child. And one day their wish was to come true! At the back of their shack was a very beautiful garden, but they dared not enter it, for there lived an ugly old transvestite. The man would gaze longingly through his window, down over the rows of cannabis in the garden, which he desired very much. “O husband, unless you retrieve a few nugs for me, I shall surely die”. The husband was terrified of trespassing the transvestite’s garden for hash, but did so love his man-slave and wished to please him, and so clambered over the fence that night and into the forbidden garden, grabbing a few of the precious leaves. The Husband found them as intoxicating as he could have hoped, and therefore began to beg his man to get him more. But when he attempted a second time, he was seized by the cunning tranny in the middle of the night. Startled, the man let out a short, manly squeal. “What the in all hell gives you the right to...”- “Shut it you slut, I do NOT want to hear it!” interrupted the man. He then explained to her his husband’s cravings and their stoned, midnight romps. The tranny was most understanding, “well why didn’t you say so you twat?? If that’s the case, take all you want, but on one condition. That you give your firstborn child to me.” Hastily, the man agreed, since he couldn’t really be bothered to argue. “Besides”, he thought to himself, “I never wanted children, I want bear cubs...” When the day of the baby girl’s anal birth came - whom they named Rapunzel, because why not? - the transvestite came and swept her up, to be locked far away in the top of a tall tower with no convenient means of escape and very little by way of sexual amusements. But worryingly as she got older, there was something quite strange about her. By her 23rd birthday, she had grown a phenomenally droopy scrotum, which when flung out the tower window would very nearly touch the ground, brushing it gently with its tender plumage. So when the old tranny came to see her, she would yell “Rapunzel, Rapunzel... Let down thy balls!” And every time she would just lug the thing right out the bloody window. Receiving the package, the tranny would blush, laugh, rotate her anus 360 degrees, squawk loudly, and then proceed to climb up the old hairy brain like a rope. Unfortunately, this scenario continued for a while, but one day, a young hunky bachelor rode by, naked on his valiant beaver. Upon hearing Rapunzel’s sweet voice, he fell instantly in love with her. The prince approached the tower and was instantly hit on the head by a whopping great testicle. When he regained consciousness, he noticed that there was a King-Kong nutsack hanging from the window, followed by the face of a woman, and an ugly face at that, but still he was enchanted by her beauty. “Good God woman! You’re hung like a bull!!” Cried the bloke “Cheers luv!” Answered Rapunzel “Be not afraid sweet hermaphrodite damsel, for I am a nudist prince and am come to save thee!” And with that, he mounted the old hairy bagpipes and began to climb. The old transvestite however, bitter with jealousy, had been watching the whole scene, crouched suspiciously behind some bushes. He(she?) launched a throwing star just as the prince was nearing the top, castrating Repunzel and sending the butt-naked prince to a prickly bed of thorny bushes below, gauging out his sphincter. It was at this point that the prince began to question his choices in life. From that day forth, the bewildered prince, unable to take a dump in comfort, wondered the forest eating deceased shrews and badgers’ tadgers. All seemed lost until one day, he found his beloved Rapunzel, attempting to urinate on a deer from a tree, having been banished from the tower. Together they made lots of anal love and raised large litters of bear cubs. THE END “James, I am speechless.