text: It was the 16th of May , they had been roaming the countryside of England for 2 months and had ended up at the Grand Old Hotel. The name was appropriate, it felt as if the whole place had always had the air of being past it's prime, as if the chairs had sagged since the day they were installed in the lobby, the hedgerows were always overgrown, the discolored wallpaper peeling from the day it was installed and as if the plumbing had been finicky from the day the contractors left. There wasn't a lot of staff, but the few that were around carried themselves with the grace befitting servants of a royal court. As if their regular patrons were accustomed to a life of privilege and prestige , with exacting standards they would not hesitate to complain loudly if the tea wasn't the perfect drinking temperature when it was served. It was all a bit disconcerting for him. He had never exactly been poor, but interacting with self styled butlers, manservants and maids was an incredibly foreign affair to him. He always felt as if he should apologize to them all. His discomfort manifested itself in an over-courteousness that the help didn't seem to appreciate. It felt as if they looked at him with a kind condescension and even a bit of pity. *Look at the small town bumpkin who is in over his head* their gaze seemed to say, with no apparent recognition of how the Grand Old Edifice was no longer what it used to be and neither were the patrons. She had no such troubles, she carried a sense of effortless authority with herself that he found utterly captivating. Knowing what he knew about her, it seemed rather strange and even somewhat unfair that she could phrase a command in such generous terms that everyone wanted to wade on her hand and foot. She was never rude or brusque , but she never made requests. She never asked "Could I get a Pina colada" , instead it was simply "Could you please get me a Pina colada" , the difference was subtle , but it was mesmerizing and sometimes he simply found himself admiring her as she spoke to the help. Such effortless beauty, he thought. I wonder how much effort it takes to maintain? It was 2:30 in the afternoon and they had made their way to the old gazebo after lunch. He sat looking at nothing in particular, but noticing almost everything at once, the slightly overgrown hedges and the gentle breeze coming off of the ocean that was north of them. The breeze made the trees and bushes sway and played with her yellow sundress.. He stole glances at her here and there, not wanting to disturb her reverie and she let him, not wanting to disturb his. He felt a little guilty and she knew it. He felt as if he was getting away with something that the likes of him did not deserve. First there was the difference in age , not a lot but enough to raise eyebrows here and there. What was much more disconcerting than that though was how just being around her made the knot in his chest feel a little less... undecipherable. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this reprieve. In fact he was quite sure that the way he lived his life was pretty solid grounds for never feeling the way he felt and yet , here he was , sitting in the slightly overgrown , but still lovely, Grand old gardens letting his mind slip into day dreams of all that had happened here. He must have started to make a face, because suddenly she said "Tell me about it". The question jarred him back to reality and he looked at her sitting next to him, her large grey eyes peering up at him as if what he was about to say is all that she had ever wanted to hear. "Oh , I'm sorry , I must have gotten lost in a thought" he said. Mhm , she hummed , you've been doing it since we got here, just standing around looking at things and then you get this look. A look ? Yes , a look He smiled and looked deep into her eyes... He was too old for this he thought, well, not that old, but still So, will you tell me or do I have to get one of my butlers to torture the information out of you ? He laughed a genuine laugh , she knew what she was doing and she was enjoying it He must have simply gazed at her for a few more seconds and she seemed to almost lose interest in the question when he said "I love old places like this" Of course you do old man , this is your milieu right ? He laughed again, but it was tinged with a small bit of embarrassment.. How old do you think I am ? Old enough, she said with a shy look on her face Well, not old enough for any of this to be relate-able.. What then ? He thought for a second before saying .. Have you ever felt nostalgic about a life that you never lived ? It's so strange, being here, being separated in time from all those lives that this place has seen , all those parties that were held here , all those kisses that were stolen in this gazebo all the petty arguments and jealous rages. All the minor political intrigue and all the satisfied afternoons shared by people just like us. All the people that came before us and touched the silverware, the scuff marks on the old ceramic plates made by bygone patrons who are naught but ashes and dust now. It's breathtaking, the amount of life places like this see and now, he hesitated, glancing at the overgrown azaleas. Now what ? She asked earnestly .. Just , you know , Decay ? Irrelevance ? Memory ? It's almost as if the Grand remembers and while it still stands here, there is something of them still left , it stood a mute witness to all those lives and in a way as long as it stands , it will hold on to the memory of them all. Sounds sad. Yes, it's Quite melancholy , but , I like it. You like being sad ? She asked, more of a statement than a question , with barest tinges of hope and sadness mixed in with her delicate timbre. Yes, I do , he said and felt his breath pour out of him as she rest her head on his shoulder and gently nuzzled against his neck I understand, she said finally All he could do was smile weakly and enjoy the faint smell of the cheap hotel conditioner in her hair.. You can't fix me , you know... I know. She confirmed. You can't fix me either , but , do you mind trying for a bit ? He hesitated a few seconds too many .. I'll try too , she said weakly.. Ok, he said, k , she repeated. It was a lovely afternoon.