text: Alexander ran into the bookshop with fear in his heart. "Howdy, there" said the proprietor. Alexander let out a scream. "Not you too! Not you, Tommy". "I'd thank you kindly not to shout in my store. You can just giddy on up outta here if you don't lower your voice" Tommy replied, not recognizing his long-time friend. Alexander ran over but stopped in his tracks as Tommy pulled a shotgun from behind the counter. "I think you'd better leave now, partner." "Tommy, please!" Alexander pleaded. Tommy spit tobacco juice into a spittoon. "Tommy, you don't even chew tobacco! You hate guns! Listen!" Alexander begged an indifferent Tommy. "Partner. I said. Giddy. On. Up." with that Tommy shot a shell into the air hitting the lamp above his head. As the glass finished falling onto and off of his hat, Tommy spit and stared. Alexander felt his heart drop. He was resigned to leave and slunk out of the front door. His sadness was suddenly replaced by a burst of fear as gun shots rang out directly in front of him. In disbelief, he watched a man collapse in the middle of the empty street. Alexander nearly fainted. A man standing in full western gear blew the tip of his pistol as women in impractically oversized dresses ran up to celebrate his victory. Alexander sat down and reached for his phone. He called his wife. "Hello?" her voice sent a rush of calm over Alexander. "Babe. I've tried to call a hundred times. I was worried it got you too." Alexander said in a desperate breath. "What? Hardly any reception out here. I took Sam for a day at the beach. I'll be home in about thirty." before Alexander could reply, the line disconnected. He called back but it went straight to voicemail. He rushed toward the train station but found no-one tending the counter. He went up to the machine but it was out of order. He was going to have to jump on without paying. He'd never stolen a thing in his life but, felt he had no choice. He prepared himself but, the train never came. After a few minutes, he began to run home. He burst through the in a pool of sweat. "Baby!" he yelled "Pack your things, we have to get out of here! Everyone's turned into Americans from the old west! We have to go! Now!" "What are you talking about hon?" to Alexander's horror, his wife came around the corner in a cowboy hat. He fell backwards into the wall. "Steady there, big fella." his wife said "You're gonna wake youngin'" Alexander rushed into the baby's room and picked up Sam who awoke immediately. "Great! Now how am I gonna clean up with this little cowpoke running around?" His wife asked from the doorway. "Yeehaw" said the little voice. Alexander would have dropped Sam if not for his wife's quick reaction. Alexander stumbled out the door to find his neighbor standing on his lawn. "Alexander!" the man yelled "You've let your dog sully my lawn for the last time! The insult will not be tolerated! Pistols! Now!" "Jon... I don't have a pistol!" Alexander said back, overwhelmed in confusion. "You yellow-bellied coward! What's that on your hip?" Alexander looked down and saw a pistol he didn't recognize. He felt himself walking to the middle of the street. He turned his back to his neighbor. Alexander began to walk ten paces but, his neighbor only walked three. Alex felt the bullet whistle by his ear. Instinctively, he spun, drew, and laid down the cheater. "Yeehaw!" a little voice from the porch yelled. Alexander paused for a moment before smiling back "Yeehaw" Alexander said "Yeehaw, indeed".