text: The great cactus revolution Did you hear the story of the cactus’s great revolution? No of course not the government had a hard time covering it up so it is remembered by few and spoken about by none. The story starts in 1742 in the Sahara desert where cactus are oppressed and sold as slaves to the Americas. A decade prior the British government discovered that cactus plants are actually very strong and hard working. They came and colonised the great cactus canyon and enslaved the local cacti. But colonising the canyon came at a great cost to Britain. They lost over a 1000 men in the once infamous war of the canyon in which the great prickly chief peyote led a mighty army of over 20000 cactus. The cactus army almost won until aid came to the British in the form of a passing battalion of American soldiers came and destroyed almost three quarters of the cactus army before the chief was forced to surrender. For decades cactus lives were made terrible. They were enslaved and sent to America to work on the farms until one day a great cacti by the name of Gymnocalycium mihanovichii more commonly known by humans as just cactus started a great rebellion. He led a mighty army of over 100 000 cactus over the Mediterranean and conquered England. He walked for a long time but as we all know cactus are succulents and don’t need much water so they walked to England. On the way they teamed up with the aloes and their numbers increased greatly. Afterwards in the great book of cactus a cactus poet wrote,” the cactus took a walk with the aloe.” Anyway the opposing army marched into England and arrested the queen and took over the house of commons. But the cactus did not stop there. However they did not want to take over the world and rule. No, they wanted all races to live together in harmony. So they set of to free their friends and family from America. The Americans did not like this and the American scientists set out to create a poison that renders the cactus immobile but not dead. However the American scientists did not finish their research by the time the cactus had landed in America. The American army put up a good fight but they were losing. The scientist managed to finish their research just in time and deployed it on the cactus army just as they were crossing Texas. The poison was supposed to only effect the cactus but however also effected the land around them. The climate became hotter and there was less vegetation in Texas This is why today cactus is only found in America and the only type of cactus left in the Sahara is a cousin of the cactus who was to cowardly to take part in the war but was later poisoned too. This is also why today that Texas is very hot.