text: He was no stranger to this, this strong pain resonating from his forearm up. This was a normal act, almost routine to perform. Josh had blood streaking down to his palm, pooling in his hand. The gleam of the metal in his other hand had reminded him that there he wasn't done yet. He curled his hand into a fist and struck again, the box cutter tearing apart his clean unscarred flesh of his arm. This time was different, he didn't feel any pain and didn't feel the need to stop. He was going to keep going. He knew this was coming though, he had planned this night. He went into the kitchen earlier while his parents were asleep and had shoveled as many pills as there were in the house down his throat. This night was different. Josh had scars all over his arm, he couldn't wear anything less revealing than a long sleeved jacket around other people including his own family. In school he had friends at one point, but everything dies off eventually. Those friends found that it was too much work to be friends with someone who shared so little of himself, all he is is cutting though, and he could not share that. He was a smart kid though, he planned it out well. He knew he couldn't tell anyone, that was his previous mistake, he learned from trial and error with this and made the perfect plan. This was a perfect night. He kept going until he couldn't see the pale white of his skin color on his wrist. He wouldn't stop. Josh was determined this time, he was pushed to the limits. Earlier that evening he watched his ex-girlfriend of two years go with someone else to prom, he asked and she said yes. That was a cold reminder that he was alone. Josh would rather be dead than alone. His plan started with the pills, washed down with bleach, now he was sitting on the edge of the roof, wrists cut, and vision fading. He missed one part. The note. He was frantically fighting for consciousness now, he couldn't leave his family without saying goodbye. His stomach was on fire and it was burning upwards towards his throat, his vision was fading, too much blood lost, all he could do was claw his way indoors. He wouldn’t make it though, there wasn’t enough time left. The next day the police arrived to the scene of a young 13 year old boy named Josh fallen on the fence next to his house, it was an obvious suicide. Josh’s younger sister would forever be scarred with the mental image of her brother almost cut in half by their fence when she went out to get their morning paper. Josh had wandered off a lot in his sleep, so him missing in the morning wasnt out of the ordinary.