text: In the seconds before their lips were about to meet, Ida felt she could lose herself in the clear blue waters that lay just behind those beautiful blue irises. For they spoke to her of love, longing and a deep desire. They could fill her with a comforting warmth while cooling her skin like a fresh breeze. Her mind, body and heart were all tingling like a light current coursing through her. For in this moment, he wanted her to know that he would give himself completely to her, if she would have him and then they kissed. Ida sighed deeply, giving way to a sadness that began to dull the current she had just felt. She knew that the actor entangled in a passionate embrace on the screen in front of her represented an ideal that was far from reality. Ida thought back, trying to remember the few men she had kissed in her lifetime and was disappointed when she couldn’t recall even one who had gazed into her eyes, seconds before the embrace. Would she ever experience a moment like that? Probably not, she told herself because men in real life don’t do that; willingly anyway. It was highly likely that the blue-eyed actor she was mesmerized by, was not motivated by his gorgeous co-star, but more by the big paycheck he got for his signature “pre-kiss gaze”. Cinema had built such high expectations when it came to romance. She spent the rest of the movie deep in thought trying to console herself but couldn’t stop herself from wondering what it would have felt like to be on the receiving end of that kiss. It didn’t help her sadness and Ida was crushed. She was in such a funk that she didn’t even notice the movie had ended, until her friend started gushing about how dreamy romcoms can be. After she hugged her friend farewell and began to walk to the metro station, Ida returned to her lament. Lost in ‘what if’s and ‘what could have been’. She entered the station, scanned her metro pass, and got onto the train. She sat down on the cold plastic seat, put on her audiobook and settled in for the 30-minute ride to her stop. Ida rested her head on the hard wall of the cabin and closed her eyes, hoping the soothing voice of the narrator would distract her from her thoughts. When that failed, Ida opened her eyes and found herself gazing into the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. Had she just imagined them into existence? She slowly began to register the very attractive face that complimented those blue eyes. It was a couple of seconds before she realized they were staring back. She flushed with embarrassment and quickly shifted her gaze to the side, only to lock eyes with another pair of eyes. These belonged to a kindly looking old man whose chin was resting on a cane held between his knees. She smiled nervously to disguise the awkwardness and was taken aback when the old man winked at her. Unable to suppress a giggle, Ida looked back in front of her where Blue Eyes was also grinning, clearly having seen the exchange. Except his eyes were now focused on the pages of the book he held in front of him. Ida was impressed by this because she seldom saw people reading paperbacks these days. She found this old school habit charming and wondered what other interesting traits Blue Eyes possessed. Did he prefer the simple things in life like biking along the canal, or hiking, listening to music from yesteryears when lyrics were poetic and meaningful? Or was he more the kind who enjoyed watching movies and then spending hours talking about the intricate plots and clever storytelling? Heck she wouldn’t mind if he was a fan boy who geeked out at comic con! With those blue eyes and the chance to gaze into them, she would put up with anything. She suddenly realized that the metro had stopped and looked up quickly to see if Blue Eyes was getting off. Instead, the cheeky senior citizen got up and hobbled toward the doors, smiling at her one last time before he disembarked the train. It was then that Ida realized that Blue Eyes and she were now the only two people left in the cabin. She returned her gaze to her phone and began scrolling through her Facebook feed pretending to be interested in what Margot was ranting about in her latest post. “Hi”, said a voice. Ida looked up. She must have looked surprised because Blue Eyes smiled warmly at her and once again said, “Hi”. Ida caught herself just before she turned to look over her shoulder to see if he was talking to someone else, which would have been supremely stupid since there was nothing but the cabin wall behind her. “Hi” she said, with a slight hesitation. What followed was a friendly, casual chat about anything relevant these days. Simple conversation that filled the silence that would have hung heavy in the cabin. Although Blue Eyes kept it light and easy, Ida felt herself drawn in by him. He seemed smart, funny and interesting. They didn’t get personal or flirty, absolutely no hints of any ulterior motive. Just two people enjoying easy banter, and those beautiful blue eyes. So, it was with a slightly heavy heart that Ida picked up her bag, said goodbye and got off the metro at her stop. Although she was sad to leave Blue Eyes in the cabin, Ida walked away with a small smile on her lips. In the past 20 minutes, this mesmerizing stranger had in some way restored her faith and hope in the dream that one day she would gaze into blue eyes that loved her. The hope that she would share a ‘moment’ that seemed like Hollywood’s cruelest joke on the hopeless romantic, just an hour ago. As Ida made her way home, she was filled with a warmth. She even dared to imagine what it would be like to share an intimate moment with Blue Eyes. She wondered if those eyes that were so friendly as they chatted were also capable of conveying love and passion. She almost giggled at the fantasy of being wrapped in his arms, eyes locked on to each other before they kissed. Here she was again thinking about the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘what could have been’. Had Ida not been so deep in her fantasy, she might have noticed the man walking behind her, keeping pace with her steps. She might have noticed he had followed her around every corner. She might have even noticed that when she opened the door to her apartment block, he had snuck in behind her. She might have paid attention to him climbing up the stairs. Had she stopped romanticizing, she would have realized he was standing almost right behind her, as she put her key into the lock and opened her apartment door. In a few seconds, the man had pushed Ida in through the door and on to the floor. She felt his weight on top of her and as she opened her mouth to scream, his hand stopped her, muffling any sound that she made. Ida knew his face was just above hers, and with the tiny sliver of moonlight that pierced through the darkness, Ida saw those familiar beautiful blue eyes. But there was no warmth, no comfort in their gaze but instead she saw menace. No clear blue waters but instead they were cold and icy. No passion but a dark desire that she feared. Ida’s whole being continued to scream, and the tears rolled down the sides of her face. Blue Eyes was grinning malevolently. How could this be? He was so nice. She had imagined only happiness with him. How could she have been so wrong? He shushed her as she cried and reached behind him to take something out of his back pocket. When Ida felt the sharp edge of what she knew to be a knife against her neck, her heart froze. It was in this moment, when she closed her eyes and wished she had never gazed into those blue eyes.