text: I parked the car on the shoulder of the road. It was too dark out to see anything beyond the headlights. The moon was shrouded in clouds, and the sky was black. All around me through sealed windows, I could see faint, ghastly silhouettes of trees against the darkened sky. There were no stars. I stared at the road. The beams illuminated thirty feet in front of me. I could see the dirt road, I could see dead grass, and I could see the bottoms of towering trees. The dirt path winded away out of sight--swallowed by the dark abyss of the forest. There was nothing more to see. It felt like an hour, but when I checked the clock only ten minutes had passed. Story of my life. "You wanna stop here?" the woman in the passenger seat asked. "No," I said. "I don't know." "It's okay. We can talk here." "Yeah. Okay." The engine hummed and the car continued to vibrate. There was nothing moving in the headlight beams. The grass beside the road was cold, dead, and dry. The tops of trees were becoming more visible against the almost-black sky. I wasn't sure if there was more light now, or if I'd just gotten used to the dark. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked. "Oh, you know. *Things.* How you've been." I turned to look at her, and I said, "What do you mean?" She looked back at me. Her hair, skin, and eyes were dark. She had a warm and pleasant expression. For a long moment, neither of us spoke. Then she said, "I mean, I want to talk about you." "Yeah, I got that part. But what the hell does that mean?" Her expression didn't change. She almost smiled, actually. She said, "No need to be so aggressive." "I'm sorry." "No worries. Rough day today?" "Yeah." I looked straight ahead again, and shifted my glance at the rear-view mirror. There was no sign of life ahead of us or behind us. The night was peaceful and quiet. "You've had a lot of rough days lately," she said. "Am I right?" "Yeah," I said. "Don't worry. I understand." "I know you do," I said. "Nobody else does. Maybe I'm overthinking things, but I'm pretty sure people can see how miserable I am. Either they don't care, or they just--I don't know. They probably think I'm a whining kid trapped in an adult's body." I put my forehead on the steering wheel, and I sighed. "I just feel like I'm so far away from everybody." There was a long pause. Then she said, "It's okay. It's actually a lot simpler than you think." I rolled my eyes, picked up my head, and looked at her again. "Is that right?" "Yeah. Oh! I almost forgot--did you bring it?" "Bring what?" "Your favorite magazine, remember?" I winced. "That doesn't make sense. Who the hell reads magazines, anyways?" "Hey, this won't be as cheesy as you think it's gonna be." I paused, then said, "Whatever you say." She said, "I figured you wouldn't be too enthusiastic about that part. Not without my encouragement. So I grabbed one from your apartment when you were in the bathroom. I don't know if it's your favorite, but it'll work." "What do you mean, *work?*" "It's a surprise. But I think I know how to fix you--how shitty you feel, I mean." "How's that?" She laughed and said, "It's really easy. First things first, all you have to do is hold my hand." She placed her left hand palm-up on my car's handbrake. I stared at her hand for a long moment. Then I looked back up at her. All I could say was: "What?" "Hold my hand. I promise I'll never let you feel lonely again." "Okay, fine." I obeyed. "Now, I want you to drive further down the road. Pull off somewhere nobody will find us. But keep holding my hand. Okay?" "Okay." With my left hand on the steering wheel, I pulled back onto the road. I drove deeper into the forest. We were descending down a long, shallow hill. The sky got darker as we got further in. It took me a while to notice the difference, but at the end of this road the sky was much darker than where we'd entered the forest. I could no longer distinguish between the horizon and the tops of trees. Everything outside the headlight beams was just black. "This is a good spot," she said. "Okay," I replied. I parked the car on the shoulder of the dirt path and turned off the engine. The headlights extinguished, and we were both engulfed in black. In the dimmest light of the starless sky, I could see her dark eyes reflecting. "Now. Take the magazine..." She reached into her purse and pulled it out. She dropped it onto my lap. I looked down at it. "...and load it in the pistol, and chamber the bullet." I obeyed. I pushed the magazine into the pistol, and I pulled back the pistol's slide. When I let go, the mechanical *clack* brought a small bit of solace to my mind. She continued: "I know you're tired. You don't have to be tired anymore. Put the barrel in your mouth or under your chin--I promise you'll never feel lonely again. Just aim for the sky." I did. It was more comfortable to place the barrel under my chin than it was to stick cold, greasy metal into my mouth. I did that and I looked at her. She said, "But please make sure you don't miss. If you miss, you'll feel even lonelier than before. You'll wish you'd never met me." "Why's that?" I asked. "Because," she said, looking straight at my eyes, "then people will know you flirted with me. Nobody likes a flirt. Remember?" "Right," I said. "How could I forget?" "Now," she said, smiling, "don't let my hand go. Just pull the trigger, and you'll never be lonely again. I promise." I kept staring at her. I opened my mouth, but I couldn't find any more words. There was no color in my heart to express, and there were no words in my mind to speak. "Are you having second thoughts about us?" she asked. Her expression was still warm, but I detected a hint of sadness in her voice. My mouth was hanging open. I couldn't speak. She said, "It's okay. You don't have to do this now. I know it's hard after what you've been through. People are so judgmental, but no matter what I'll always be here for you--if you need me later, if you change your mind." Still looking at her, I said, "I'm so exhausted." She said, "All you have to do is pull the trigger, and you'll never feel tired again.