text: “Are you ready for this?” I looked over, putting the car into park. Lily gave a half nod as she held her purse on her lap like a shield. She smoothed out her coat and checked her makeup in the dim light as she pulled down the mirror. “Relax, it'll be fine, my older brother is bringing his new girlfriend to Valentine's dinner. So at least we will all be uncomfortable” I chuckled trying to lighten the mood and was rewarded with a pointed stare. I subtly checked my pocket for the ring and smiled knowing tonight was going to be a good night. “Yeah, that makes me feel a whole lot better,” Lily said, reapplying her lipstick. “I’m sorry I get really nervous meeting family’s, it’s just so...” She slumped back into her seat, squeezing her eyes shut “weird” She sighed. Gently I reached over and took her hands in my own. Tucking a stray piece of auburn hair from her face, I kissed her. “Great” She laughed “Now you have lipstick on you” Lily and I shared a look as we made our way through the endless streamers and hearts that decorated my parent’s front door. I took her hand, scared I might lose her among the explosion of decorations. “Strange, my mom doesn’t usually go overboard with decorations like this, it looks like cupid barfed all over the porch” Laughing we forged our way to the door. “This looks like something my mom would do” Lily said, pressing the doorbell. The song Can’t help falling in love by Elvis Presley echoed through the house, loud enough to be heard through the big front door. I shook my head and groaned, knowing now it was too late to leave. The door opened with a flourish as my dad answered wearing nothing but a too tight cupid outfit. I reached over and covered Lily’s eyes, but it was too late, the damage had been done, that image was going to be burned in her head forever. “Dad” I yelled, still trying desperately to protect Lily “What are you doing?” He laughed pulling out a toy bow and arrow. I stood stone face as the small heart shaped arrowhead bounced off my chest. I blinked hard as a tall brunette woman scurried past the door and into the kitchen, she too wore a cupid outfit, a little more appropriate but not by much. “Ah come in son, we’ve been waiting for you” My dad laughed, waving for us to come in. Lily looked over at me, her face frozen between embarrassment and wondering if it was too late to make a break for it. I squeezed her hand and rolled my eyes as we pushed our way past my dad’s overexposed belly. “Son, I want you to meet someone” He beamed “My new girlfriend, we met a few months ago after your mother and I got divorced.” “What!?” I stammered, tripping on my shoe that was halfway off. “Divorced! You never mentioned you were getting a divorce” Grabbing my head I leaned against the wall, wondering if I had time to add to cupid’s vomit outside. He stared at me blankly, then shrugged. “I Facebooked it on Facebook, come on I want you to meet her, she's making dinner for all of us” Reluctantly we followed him into the kitchen, regretting the decision not to run. “Tommy, I want you to meet...” “Mom!” Lily shrieked, holding her hands to her mouth. The color drained from her face as she slumped on to a stool. “What the...? How the...? Where’s dad?” Was the only thing she could sputter out. Lily’s mom gasped as she dropped the salad on the floor. I awkwardly looked up at the ceiling as she bent over to pick it up. “Well this can’t get any worse” I muttered, holding on to Lily’s shoulder for support. Then Elvis Presley rang through the halls as the doorbell rang. My overly excited dad ran to the door, pulling up the back of his adult diaper. As the door opened, long and beautiful curses drowned out the last verse of the song as my brother walked in, with his new girlfriend or more accurately my recent ex girlfriend. Chairs scraped loudly as we all sat down at the dinner table. The only conversation to be had was between the utensils as they angrily screeched along the plates. Food and angry glances were passed around the table. My dad cleared his throat, but thought better of it as everyone glared at him. Lily’s mom rested her hand on his and gave him a sly smile, causing him to turn as red as the row of hearts behind him. Though I hadn’t eaten anything all day, I pushed away my food, suddenly losing my appetite. “Well I think it’s time for us to go” I said, pulling out the keys from my pocket. Everyone froze as the ring bounced off the hardwood floor, mercifully coming to a stop at Lily’s feet. She gasped as she realized what it was. She stepped back as I kneeled down to pick up the ring. I looked up at her with the ring in my hand, then realized what this looked like. “Wait, Lily, I’m not...” Her hand flew to her mouth like she might be sick as she ran for the front door. I ran my hand through my hair and whispered “Oh no” as I ran after her. I took a deep breath as the doors to the chapel peeled back. Dozens of friends and family had gathered to mark this special occasion. With my head held high I walked down the aisle to take my place at the head of the chapel. Cold sweat poured down my back as I could feel every eye on me. My heart skipped a beat as Lily walked down the aisle. Her long hair pulled back revealing the dimple in her smile. She climbed the steps of the chapel and turned as the organist changed the song to the familiar tune of Here Comes the Bride . The audience stood as the bride filled the open doorway with her overflowing dress. Her brunette hair sparkled as she walked down the aisle. She flashed a playful grin at my dad as she took his hands, as they turned to face the marriage officiant.