text: A stranger comes up to me on the subway. “Hey, your watch is pretty sick, do you mind if I ask you a quick question? “ Yeah, sure I don’t mind.”, I said. “ Should I go to my office Christmas party? Well, for years I’ve worked at M&M publishers. My coworkers are nice and I get along with them, but it’s never been like how it was at my old office. I used to work at a different publishing company, Ross Publishers, but they didn’t make enough to pay bills and work efficiently, so I got laid off. It was the best there, I loved everyone, and I knew them from when I went to school. We're like a big family, or I should be saying, we were like a big family. One of my friends suggested that I send my resume to this new company that was supposed to be promising, So I did, and here we are. Trust me, I'm glad I got the job, but it’s just not the same. It’s about that time again, the holiday season. I normally don’t like this time of the year because the whole office, no, the whole building goes all out. I hate it, not because I don’t like Christmas because trust me, I love Christmas, the games, food, and gifts. I love it all. It’s just, we did that at my old job and I already think about it and miss it on a regular basis, so seeing all of the Christmas cheer and spirit, it just makes me miss it even more. I never go to parties or participate in Secret Santa or White Elephant or whatever they do. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Usually I go home, pop some delicious popcorn, and put on Home Alone or something. But the problem is I always find myself going on Instagram and seeing all the pictures and fun my coworkers are having at the party, and it makes me feel alone a lot of the time. I would like to go but I don’t want to accidentally forget my old company and the fun we had. I’d feel like I would be betraying them. It’s almost December first and I'm dreading the decorations and activities because it’ll be November 30th and the next day it’ll look like the north pole exploded all over the place. It’s November 28th and I’m going home from work and all of the traffic that’s coming back from Thanksgiving is brutal. It’s bumper to bumper out here. The road rage is scary and the language is even worse. I'm just minding my own business because frankly I don't want to be involved in the mess. Finally red turns to green and I let out a sigh of relief because I'm almost home. I start to go and I hear a sound, it sounds like screeching. I look over and a car rams into my car. Suddenly my life flashes before my eyes, I know it sounds corny and like every book or movie you’ve ever seen. But it really did happen to me. The crazy thing is though, I didn’t see much. All I saw was me sort of dreading getting up and going to work every morning, and going to the job that isn’t the same as my old one. After my flashback I heard sirens and saw my airbags went off. I mostly forgot what happened and I saw someone coming to my window. Turns out the guy who hit me didn’t do anything wrong, somehow, someway, both lights turned green at the same time. Those sort of things never happen, but it did. I had to stay the night at the hospital because they wanted to check on me, but I was fine. A couple days later I went back to work and I overheard my coworkers talking about the Christmas party. I kind of feel a little left out because I know I'm not going to go. Weeks pass and it's December 20th, the night of the party. They’re talking about the party and what they're going to wear and gifts and all. It’s getting sort of annoying since it's all they ever talk about. I get off work and the party starts at 8 but like I said I'm not going so it doesn't matter. Once I get home I put on Home Alone, I have to start early so I can also watch Home Alone 2 before I fall asleep like every year when I watch the movie. It’s like 7:00pm or maybe 7:30pm and I hear a knock on my door. I open it and I see that it's Grace, my office partner. We live in the same apartment complex. She starts to ask me if I’m going to the party. Obviously I’m not, and I tell her that, but she's one of those “ I don’t take no for an answer” kind of people. She said “ yes you are, because you have to.” “ What?”, I said. “ I never go, and I’m not going this year either.” “ I already told them we were coming together”, she said. “ Well that’s too bad, looks like you’re going alone.” “That’s it, I’m done, I’m doing this anymore, this sad depressing act needs to stop.” “ I’m sorry, what did you say?” “ No, you heard me, if you don’t put yourself out there again, you will never get through the past.” I want to argue with her so badly, say she’s completely wrong, but I can’t, she’s right. “ Who made you the boss of my life?” “ Oh stop it, we both know this needs to end, just put some festive clothing on and meet me back here.” Honestly she’s scary when she means business so I do what she tells me to do. Mostly because I thought of my crash and how it left me feeling worthless, maybe this stupid party might be my saving grace. I found this sweater with reindeer on it and it says, “ Don’t give two bucks!”, and blurred out paws like he was giving the finger, well two I guess. “ Does this work?”, I said. “ Sure, that works, now let's go, we don’t want to be late.” When we went there, I felt like a kid on the first day of school. You could tell on my face that I didn’t want to be there. We walk in and everyone just stops what they’re doing and just looks at me. I hate it when people do that. I swear you could hear a pin drop. The silence got too much that Grace said something to break the awkward silence. “ I brought drinks!” I didn’t know how to feel but it didn’t matter because everyone started to cheer and went back to what they were doing. When I think of a party I think of everyone doing their thing and then me just by myself on the couch or something. But within seconds of me getting there, five people called my name to come join them in hangman, drinking, and cornhole. At the moment cornhole sounds like a lot of fun, so I went with Riley, James, and Rachel at cornhole. We talked about all kinds of stuff and really got to know each other. Like James, he has 3 kids and 2 dogs, and then Riley, he likes to ski and play basketball in his free time. Lastly Rachel likes puzzles and singing. She even won awards for it! It was really nice and James and I ended up winning which was relieving because it was like a conversation starter. “ Hey guys, how are you doing, good, that's good. How am I? Well I just won cornhole so I’m doing great!” It was perfect. I ended up getting some drinks and playing a couple more games and I asked someone what time it was and they said “10:30pm”. “ 10:30pm! Wow I guess time does fly by when you're having a good time!” I got like ten compliments on my sweater and get this, my smile too. Yeah, people said they’ve never seen it before and it was really charming. I’ve never felt so good before. To end out the night we did some Secret Santa, I didn’t participate because they picked names a week ago, but it was fun watching. We were getting ready to leave then my coworker Charline comes up to me and gives me something, it was a watch, I guess her Secret Santa was someone who thought a watch would be a great gift. She said to look closer, it had engraved inside, “ you are so loved”. She said she wanted to give it to me, I said, “ why? Isn’t it your gift?” “ Yeah but I want you to have it because you are so loved, because we love you!” I never cry, I mean never, but let me tell you, December 20th, 11:48pm, I cried. Maybe from being overwhelmed with emotion, or maybe from the onions in the dinner we had but either way, I cried. Grace gave me a ride home, since my car was still messed up from the crash, but before she walked to her apartment, I gave her a hug. I simply said, “ thank you, you really were my saving grace.” She said, “ no, thank you, you made so many people happy tonight!” I went to bed that night so good and relieved and I finally felt the click. The same click I had at my old job, the click that tells me I finally belong. I felt whole again, and it's been awhile. “ So does that answer your question?”, I said. “ Um, actually I think it did.”, he said. “Yes, I think you should go to your Christmas Party, it changed my life in so many different ways, for the better.” I said “ Thanks man, I was really unsure about going but with your story, and your help, I’ve made my decision, I’m going to go.” “ It’s kind of funny because I’m going to my party for the 7th year in a row. Every year it’s as fun seven years ago, wow I’ve changed. If it wasn't for the party, or Grace, Charline, or even cornhole with James, I definitely wouldn’t be here, the man that I am today.