text: Louis picked up his guitar and started strumming it. A sweet and vibrating sadness seeped out of the strings as he looked beyond the room we were in. “You know, Ross, I will forget you one day.” Louis said. He continued plucking at the silver strands. Each finger caressing the timbers of the instrument so gently. “You’ll remember just fine,” I said “you haven’t forgotten anything important yet. It’s only been small things, ya know?” Louis let his gaze droop down. His guitar was singing warmly but it sounded empty. Without a heart. “I’ve forgotten far too much already. I want you to know...” He stuttered. “To know, I’ve already forgotten the chords to this song I’m playing.” I paused and listened to his song. He played it so many times with me around that I’d found great comfort in it. Almost like it was a personal lullaby. “How can you play it if you’ve forgotten it already?” I asked. Louis stopped playing. His face was down but I could see the small tears falling onto the lacquered surface of his guitar. The drops beaded up and rolled off with ease. “I don’t remember this song anymore, but my hands do.” He picked up in his strumming where he left off. “If your hands remember, surely you should too.” I said leaning in. I placed a hand on his shoulder. He recoiled with my touch. “If I ever do anything in my forgetfulness that hurts you, however indirect, please forgive me.” His voice cracked under the strain of his words. “When I forget you. Please forgive me” “Lou, I don’t think you-” “Because I already don’t forgive myself.” He began sobbing as he continued to play. “I can already feel the cobwebs in my brain. I can feel the spiders making homes in the cogs of my mind. Please forgive me” “Louis-” “Please forgive me, please forgive me. I’m so sorry Ross. Please forgive me when I forget you” Louis plucked at the strings so roughly that his toughened fingers split. The blood dripped down the body of the guitar and mixed with his tears. The sound of his crying soul resonated through the room and pulled at my heart. “Louis, IF you forget me. If you forget us and everything. You’ll still be Louis to me. There’s nothing to forgive.” I placed my hand against his neck, trying to comfort him. He slid his face down and let his tears roll over my fingers. We sat there for a while as he played. The defeat in his face was too hard to look at, so I looked away. Louis and I had been traveling together for so long. At the time, it seemed impossible to imagine ever forgetting any of it. He had been forgetting some major things around that time. I just didn’t want to see him like that. I didn’t want to think of it. I couldn’t begin to fathom how hard that was for him. What exactly was going on with him, I don’t think I’ll ever know. But he did end up forgetting. Louis forgot everything. I’ve already forgiven you, Lou. I always will.