text: It was a hard walk to the Mt. Vernon, it almost took him an hour to reach the destination. After working the entire shift John didn’t have any mood for going to the party but still it was needed of him, his sister would be turning eight tonight. She'd want me there , John had believed. A four story apartment building stood in front of him, high as hell as he was. When John walked inside and began his climb, something felt strange. I’ve been to these steps before...... But surely he never was, he had to ask for the directions. Déjà vu is what they call it. The apartment building was a gloomy place. It didn’t do justice to the locality it was in. The walls were still damp from the rain that had washed down the entire city yesterday. Someone or more than someone had mistaken the stairs for trash bin. There wasn’t even an elevator to place you up on your wanted floor. Up and up he went, wondering. Not much later, the door stood in front of him. A white wooden door in a dark building. The door . John could hear the faint noises inside : sounds of laughter, of kids and their parents, thumping steps, shouts and curses, all but sadness. There was a big part of him that would’ve wanted nothing more than just walk away, even from there, but he knew better than that or he hoped at least. So, he raised his right hand, coiled it into a fist and knock.....knock . The noises from inside grew colder. Knock...knock , he did it again. Then, as the moment stretched longer, he could hear the sound of someone’s steps coming closer. The door opens. And the world was full of laughter. Fun...is that what they call it? , wondered John. He found Uncle Ben on the other side with a smile on his face. John was forced to smile. His uncle was a slender man, same as him but shorter. “Uncle Ben.” said John. “John my boy, we were all just waiting for you, come in.” “Well, I’m sure you were.” A lie . As Uncle Ben ushered him in, John found himself in a strange place. I’ve been here before..... but how could he? The yellow walls were all decorated with birthday celebration. The place seemed upside down. There were people around, a lot of people. John found many unknown eyes on him but only for a moment, then it was all forgotten like he was never there, except...... “Is this my poor baby John?” asked Aunt Martha as she came to squeeze the soul out of him with a hug. “It seems to be your poor John grandma, I’m not sure about that baby part.” John replied. “Well, you’ll always be a baby to me.” A cousin sister to his mother’s mother, Martha was an old woman. Short and round, even though she was in her late 60s, her features hadn’t left her. “How long have you been living on air?” Aunt Martha inquired. I’ve been living on worse things than air, grandma . But John thought better than to say it. “Well, what the lad’s gonna do when his grandmother wouldn’t spare him any meal.” Uncle Ben came to rescue. “I didn’t spare you any meal, you seem fatter than me.” Aunt Martha replied. Then there was a guffaw, from both mother and son. John forced himself to smile. “Where is she?” John asked. “Jennifer.....she should be here somewhere” Martha looked all around. “It’s not likely a place to be lost.” “No....not Maa. Joy, where’s Joy?” “Joy? Ahhh the girl. She might be in her room with her mother.” “Can you get her for me? Please” For a moment it seemed she might deny but....“Yeah, wait here.” was all she said before she left. “So, what’s going on with you John?” asked uncle Ben. “I’m alright.” “You still working--" “Who are all these people?” John interrupted. “Uhhh, well people” Ben said, a little startled “You know neighbors, friends, colleagues.” Then it was silence, the awkward one, at least for a moment until....“But it’s good you know, it’s her birthday-“ “You don’t have to do it. You can go. Those are your friends I believe. I won’t miss your presence, well at least while I’m waiting.” And so it was done. Ben left and John was all alone in the midst of all the chatters. If truth be told John never longed for anyone’s presence. By now he was used to it, or fool he must be if he wouldn’t. Life was all like it, life has always been like it. There was a time when he would cry for his mother to stay or not leave him for some stupid work. Of course he didn't need money to live, he needed his mother. There was a time when he would’ve dreaded the dark but not now, rather he’d welcome it. It was a long time ago, it wasn’t even him. John, some John who lived here, who had a mother and a father, a place to live. There were many John in this city alone, sadly he wasn’t the one. Uncle Ben though must hadn’t liked the way he’d spoken but this John was tired of pretending. He was sick of them for treating him like he cared. He didn’t or so he thought at least. After some more moments of peace and silence, the hall erupted all of sudden......and then she came. Can anything be more pure and innocent ? His sister was wearing a gown of neon pink color. Holding a small purse in her hand, she was taking those little steps her gown could allow. After Joy came her mother, Aunt Martha followed them out of the room with two kids and some other girl he might have known once. Then it was all done in rush. People clapped their hands and gave her some pretty compliments. He was lost in the flood. If Joy had noticed him, she gave no sign and so he stood there, silently in the shade of all the fun. Cake came forth with Uncle Mike (only person’s presence he’d have welcomed in this room after Joy and Martha). The candles were blown out as soon as they were being lighted. As per the tradition “Happy Birthday” song was sung, John passed along few versus with them. The hall was full of laughter when the song ended with Joy hidden behind the world. John glanced up at the wall clock that must’ve been feeling safer than ever. The hour of wolf was nigh upon them. John knew what it meant, it was the time to present the gifts and then food. John had suffered enough shame for a single day and he didn’t intend to suffer it more. The girl he had came for wasn’t here. Joy, was it? The girl was lost to him, it seemed. John’s sister....the other John’s. Shying from people’s stare he had entered this strange place, without them he left. The eyes of unknown never mattered to him, nor did they mattered now. Two eyes were all that he had cared and hoped for, but it seemed that that too were lost to him. As he made his descent, the sound of crowd started receding and soon only the sound of his footsteps remained. I’ve been to these steps before.......I’ve lived my entire life on these steps , memories came back to him. The climb down took him much less time than it had taken him to climb up. John was pleased to put that place behind him, good and well for now. When he emerged out of the darkness, his mere body casted biggest shadow that he could have ever hoped to see. He looked up to the east, the moon was there, hiding behind the ever racing clouds. White as milk, it shone like some God’s angel. It’s silvery rays washing the entire alley with the godly presence. It was good. It felt good. It was beautiful. As John made his way down the alley, he heard someone calling him from behind. He turned, and a shadow stepped out into the light. It was a woman, young and handsome one. He knew her once.... more than knew. “You’re leaving.” She called out. “I suppose, I am.” John replied. “The fun has just started.” “Well as you know, I’m not a very man you look towards to for having fun.” “I don’t know. Why did you come here, then?” “To meet someone.” “So, did you met ‘your someone’ then?” “I suppose....I did.” “You lie...... poorly.....still.” John shrugged. “If you say so.” “Oh...I don’t say anything, John” She’s still beautiful, more than ever . “What you doing down here?” “You were leaving without your return gift.” “I didn’t bring her anything, if that’d give you any help.” “Still, you attended the party. You’re entitled to receive a gift from us. Guest right.” She returned his shrug. A smile broke into his lips. “Alright then, be done with it.” Cara moved aside. The world moved aside. She was standing there, still trying to hide herself behind Cara. Tears filled his eyes. This is more pure and innocent . As Joy ran to meet him, John stood there still, with his arms open, preparing himself for the moment. “I didn’t see that one coming”, John whispered to himself......and then it came.....John lifted her up off her feet and plunged her into the sky.....and soon the shadow casted by the moon’s silver was even bigger. - Rudransh Sharma