text: Internet (Interneé?) is the wild and chaotic daughter of Jupiter and Arachne. The daughter of Electricity and the Weaver. It was said on the day of her birth that the rays of a long forgotten goddess were seen across the earth. It was quickly discovered that she had the power to make distance disappear into endless space that could be connected in infinite ways. All the gods marveled. Even the most ancient titans, like Chronus and Gaia bowed before her in her infancy. As she grew, so did her power with mankind. Artists created with new forms of media. Poets and scholars and journalists became more prolific and spread their writings to the ends of the earth. Scientists worked with Internet to create clouds that held vast amounts of data that could be organized. Many news discoveries were made. Mankind rejoiced in an unexpected new age. Yet she was unbridled. Had no control. Anything that could be, could be. Mankind found new forms of cruelty and lies in her endless space. Yet she is neutral, and by her nature cannot control what flows through her, or discern what is true or false. Pluto grew jealous of Internet’s ability to create value from air. Offended by her frivolity. Under the guise of affection and seeing her potential, he persuaded the gods to let him be her tutor. He locked her in a maze of moving walls with shrieking faces that demanded payment for arbitrary services. Mankind on the island of Janus, home to Pluto’s throne, was struck by a terrible famine as a result of her imprisonment. She remains trapped there, the walls getting more and more obstructive. She is depicted as sitting on a large cat, with an apple in her hand and a window behind her. A penguin sits by her side. Her scepter is an antenna, and her corona is a radiant blue wave called WiFi. She is too young to have a consort yet. Some say it is impossible for her to have a consort because she has no conventional identity or physical form. She is worshipped by the lonely, the bored, and the inquisitive. Her chief religious rite is called “Surfing”. It involves bowing the head and swiping a device called a phone or mouse. “Gaming” is a competitive form of this rite performed by people at unknown distances. These rites are known to cause people to fall into fits of laughter, love or rage. She is a new goddess, and her rites and mysteries are still being developed. But if she is kept in Pluto’s prison, we will share her fate.