Raven's breath had become fast-paced. She was feeling very dizzy. Faint screams were banging off in her brain, echoing with every word she spoke. She held up a shaky finger and yelled at her mother, "PLEASE don't mention the sea to me! How many times do I have to tell you? Why don't you listen?" Her mom shifted guiltily. "I'm sorry, honey. But it would be better if you just tell me why I-" Raven got up from her bed, menacingly crossed her bedroom, and put her face close to her mom's. She spoke with a deadly tone. "Get out of my room. Now." Her mom silently exited the room, and Raven flopped back on the bed, shivering violently. She buried her face deep in the soft bedcovers, crying inconsolably. Her parents had been planning a trip to a special place- or that is what they told her- for the vacations. Raven was pretty excited on imagining the distant countries she thought they were travelling to. Tingles ran down her toes excitedly whenever she thought about it. She had already started packing very early, even though she did not know what kind of climatic conditions she was going to face. All of this cheerful buzz lasted only for a couple of weeks, though. Her mother had come into her room this morning to finally reveal to her the place they were visiting. The seaside. The beach. For any individual, it would have been a blessing, right? But not for her. Now, Raven had a horrendous trauma attached to the vast depths of water. Peeking into its very depths scared her. Something had happened three years ago which had scarred her for life. However, she never told anybody the reason why she despised water bodies. Her parents had thought that a little exposure to water would help her overcome her fear, but when she was told where they were going, she flared up instantly. Her body's reaction was most peculiar. Even though her face and words suggested that she was being tough, her body had started shaking instantly, and her fisted palms clammy with sweat. A strange and faint sound of screaming had started ringing in her head. "She must have nearly drowned once, that's all," her father said to her mother reassuringly. "Why don't we try once more?" But no amount of persuasion was going to move her. Instead, her screams became shriller and she closed her ears with her hands. "Don't, just don't... why do you mention the sea to me? Get out!" she roared, almost on the verge of tears. **** The next day, while she was at school, giving her examination, her mom decided to clean the house. She sighed. Raven's refusal at point blank had brought all their plans crashing down. It was better to tidy up a little if her husband was going to cancel the plane tickets. She started off by cleaning the bedrooms. Their bedrooms were pretty neat generally, but when she entered Raven's room, it was a scene of complete chaos. Apparently, the girl had attempted to smash every single object present there. She had partly succeeded too, judging by a dozen ripped cushions. Her mother shook her head and started cleaning up. The beanbag was a total wreck. On and on and on she went with her cleaning, and when the room had been cleared, she started with the regular dusting of shelves. However, when she reached to pull out the books to clean the cupboards, her hands brushed along the cover of a journal. "My Most Momentous Moments Maiming My Mind...? Seriously, what kind of titles does Raven give her journals? Ah- this is about the school trip to..." Something snapped into place in her mind. "... the seaside." She set the duster down and flipped through the pages. The whole journal was very ordinary, but there was a piece of paper in the last titled, 'Not so Nice'. She opened it. By the time her eyes reached the end of the page, her fingers were visibly shaking. Tears were streaming down her eyes. It read: On the fifth day of the trip, we were told that we would first go to the local markets and then play by the beach. We were to participate in a sandcastle competition, but I was pinned up against the worst girl in my class, Cecilia. She is more than just a pain in the neck. Well, I couldn't back down from such a challenge, but I feared she would win because she has always been an expert with sand. I was worried, so I wanted to shake her up a bit to tell her that she had to lose, otherwise I would bully her for the rest of the term. As soon as we were released to the beach, I put my plan into action. I invited all our girl classmates to swim with a rubber float, so they agreed. There were several floats, so I urged Cecilia to take one. She's not a good swimmer, so I had my chance. I went underwater (I swim marvelously), and pulled her down. I myself rose to take fresh gulps of air and waited for her to shriek for help. But no sound came. I dived in again, but she was nowhere to be found. Even when I called for help, there was no trace of her. **** When Raven returned from school, her mom truthfully told her that she had read the note. The girl was terrified at first, and then started weeping. "Mum," she cried. "Cecilia's alive. I found her walking on the streets a few weeks ago." "That's a relief," her mom inhaled deeply, relieved. "So, when are you going to apologize?" Raven looked at her as if she was joking. "I can't face her now, mum. She probably hates me." "Just try," he mother cajoled her. "I bet she doesn't have any mean feelings." **** Sunday, August 30. Raven's mother lightly sipped her coffee, reading the newspaper. She smiled to herself. Her daughter was ringing the doorbell to Cecilia's house at the moment with a gift and a letter in her hands.


Trigger Warning: Discussions of death in a way that might be considered offensive. A large gavel vibrated the tall desk in front of me, and a voice boomed, “Payment accepted.” A glimmering blue transparent being whose shape resembled that of a tall cloaked nun titled its head downward in a bow before turning to the left and disappearing into the boundless darkness around me. If I were not entirely terrified, I might actually have attempted to make logical sense of the physics of wherever I was. Technically, I was standing upright, but beneath me was the same pitch-black nothingness that surrounded me. I was in a starless night sky, with nothing before me but what appeared to be a ginormous judge’s bench. “Next!” boomed the voice sitting in the judge’s chair. I gulped, and willed my feet forward, the briefcase in my hand swinging at my side. “What can I do for you, human?” “Uh, hi, yes, Mr. Creator, sir, thank you for seeing me,” I stammered, pushing my glasses up my nose with the back of my thumb. The human-looking god stared back at me, a portrait of boredom. “I know you humans enjoy wasting your time, but I do not.” “Oh, uh, of course, sorry about that, sir. Yes, well, I am here to ask for your help, Mr. Creator. I was wondering if maybe you could help, um, save our planet.” I offered a nervous smile. “Please,” I added, clearing my throat. The god’s face did not change. “And what planet is that?” I meant no disrespect, but my eyebrow raised reflexively. “Well, I’m a human, sir, so—” “Humans are found on many planets, uh, Mr…” the Creator looked down at the desk, shuffling through a stack of papers. “Oh, Settinborough. Mr. Clark Settinborough, uh, well Dr. Settinborough, actually, but really you don’t –” “Mr. Settinborough, as I was saying, humans are found on many planets, but considering you don’t seem to acknowledge that, I’m assuming you’re from the planet Earth, is that correct?” One of scientist’s – no, humanity’s – biggest questions answered in a single second. I didn’t even have the wherewithal to process it. Instead, I just blinked uncontrollably and pushed up my glasses again. “Uh, yes, Mr. Creator. That’s correct.” Looking down at the papers in hand, the Creator said, “And why would I help you save your planet?” My lips parted, but no words came out. I was a little taken aback by the question. “Uh, well, because it’s dying, sir. It’s getting too hot, sea levels are rising, animals are going extinct…If it continues on like this, all of humanity – well, all of the humans on Earth – will die, and Earth itself will not survive.” “Yes, I understand what dying is, Mr. Settinborough. Death is a currency here, you know. You are asking for life, did you bring payment?” I glanced down at the briefcase in my hand. “Uh, yes, I have something to offer—” “Dead tree skin with doodles on it do not work here, Mr. Settinborough. Life and death, lightness and darkness, those are the universal currencies, and those are the only forms of payment accepted here. Surely, you were anticipating that?” My head still tilting down at the briefcase, I shut my eyes and let the weight of the words sink in. “We are a hopeful species, sir. But yes, I was prepared to offer alternative forms of payment.” Exhaling deeply, I opened my eyes and looked back at the god before me. “What would it cost to save planet Earth?” The Creator considered for a moment, then replied, “You are asking for life, and so in return, I must ask for death. It is the only fair request, the only one that ensures balance.” My heart sunk; I could feel it beating in my stomach. Reflexively, my eyes shut again. “How many?” The silence was an eternity. It felt like the inner workings of my organs were being projected onto loud speakers. “One percent,” the Creator said both confidently and nonchalantly. My exhale was like a dam breaking, and with it, a breeze. Through a relieved chuckle, I said, “One percent? Really? That’s it?” The Creator simply nodded. My grin grew wider. “Yes! Deal! I mean, wow, you’d really help save our whole planet for just one percent? Wow, thank you! That’s incred—” And then my brain, my scientific brain, the same brain that had spent several decades researching and running numbers and calculating percentages came to a halting realization. And I froze, my mouth and eyes wide open. “Is there a problem, Mr. Settinborough?” “Millions,” I whispered. “One percent of us, well, that’s millions of people, sir.” The Creator nodded again. “It is. But it would mean saving billions, and your beloved planet.” I considered this. Statistically, it made perfect scientific sense. One percent, relatively speaking, was nothing, hardly significant in some cases. But here, it was life-altering. Millions of lives altered. But for the sake of billions… for the sake of survival. What the Creator asked for was both dirt cheap, and extremely expensive. “As I said before, Mr. Settinborough. I do not like to waste time, and I do not bargain. What will it be?” I was shaking now. “I’m sorry, Mr. Creator, sir. It is a lot to consider.” The Creator’s face softened for a moment, and a sense of understanding briefly revealed itself. “You know, I know the Creator of your planet, and I can assure you the intention was never for so many humans to inhabit it. Even with one percent gone, there will be so many of you left, you will hardly notice.” I imagined my kids gone. My wife gone; my best friend; their families; my parents; all the people I would notice gone. The loss of them morphed into the thoughts of strangers, and those strangers losing family members, and those people losing more family members, and on and on until empathy coursed through my veins like a steady flowing river. “How will they die?” I asked. Not that it mattered. Maybe it did; I wasn’t sure. The Creator shrugged. “I’ll consult with Nature. That’s not really my department. I just accept the payment.” The answer didn’t hurt, but it didn’t help either. “And you’re sure you can’t accept cash?” I offered, half-heartedly. The Creator laughed loudly. “You humans do have a great sense of humor, I’ll give you that. But no. So, what will it be?” This kind of decision deserved a lifetime of consideration. But I didn’t have that. So, I squeezed my eyes shut and blurted out, “Deal!” I hoped I would feel a sense of relief, but instead, I heard a loud bang! as the Creator’s gavel slammed onto the desk. “Payment accepted.” As the being before me had done, I tilted my head in a bow, and exited the darkness. In an instant, I was back in my home, sitting on the couch next to my wife, who was scrolling through an article on her phone. I could hear my kids playing with Lego in their rooms down the hall. “This is crazy,” my wife muttered to herself. Feeling so happy to see her, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “What’s crazy?” I asked, planting a kiss on her temple. “There's something going around. Seems like a lot of people are getting sick.” My wife shrugged nonchalantly, and clicked her phone on lock. She set it down on the ottoman in front of us, kissed my cheek, and got up from the couch. “What do you want for dinner?” My body stilled, and my breath quickened. I slowly reached for my phone in my pocket. I unlocked it, and opened up my Settings application. Before I could stop myself, I turned off my news notifications with one swift swipe. Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I called out, “Pizza sounds good.”


“Full moon in the sky, Filled with dreams and hope, Fooling with a guy, See you in my scope. Full moon in the sky, Right above the spire, Hate to be that guy, Three two one fire” Ben was singing this awfully catchy song when he walked to the front door of his house that he had heard from the supermarket and somehow ended up in the radio of his car on his way home. “Honey I’m home,” he announced loudly only to be greeted with a gun pointed inches towards his face. “Woah! Hey! Woah! What is this, Mary?!” he asked, his face was with a combination of shock and confusion. “Shut up and get down on your knees!” Mary ordered. “Who are you?” she asked fiercely, tightening the handle of her gun. “Wha- what do you mean *who* am I? I’m *your* husband!” he replied wearily. “What happened to your eyes? Did they heal? Can you see now?” he asked. “They were never broken! I was concealing my real identity,” she responded. “As a blind person?” he questioned. “Yes, as a blind person, it’s easier to avoid suspicion, no one would ever suspect a blind person to-” before she could finish her sentence, she was interrupted by Ben. “...to do what Mary? To kill your own husband on the night of his anniversary with his supposedly blind because of an accident that she refused to talk about even after fourteen years of marriage, wife?!” “My husband wouldn’t know that song,” she uttered, “Now tell me who you are before I paint this wall behind you with my favourite *colour,*” she waved the gun lightly onto his face. “What song? The Full Moon song? I heard it when I was shopping for groceries and somehow the radio in the car on my way back was playing it too, I swear, Mary!” he replied in exhaustion. “Oh no,” she muttered. “If this is true, then this isn’t good. They’re here.” “Who’s here?” Ben asked. “Them!” she answered loudly. “Honey, please, calm down, I have no idea what you're talking about. Can you put the gun down now, please? You’re scaring me,” Ben said calmly. “I mean, I’ve been scared since you pointed the gun at me when I walked in, but, whatever." Mary took a deep breath and sighed heavily, “Alright, on our first date, we were at a park, what food did we share there?” she questioned. Her eyes were sharp, they could cut your cheek. “Aha! Trick question, our first date wasn’t at the park. You hated the park,” he assured. “I love the park,” she replied with a disappointed sigh. “No, you said you hated it because of how it smells,” Ben replied. “I lied because I was trying to be someone I’m not,” she said while rubbing the bridge of her nose. “That doesn’t make any sense and undercover for what exactly?!” he yelled. “Can you stop pointing the gun at me and explain what is happening right now, Mary?!” “Mommy, what’s happening?” they heard from the stairwell. It was their six year old son, David. A tiny cute chubby little boy with dark brown hair in his pajamas who has been woken up by the commotion caused by his parents. “Oh David, sweetie. Nothing’s happening, Mommy and Daddy are just- umm- role-playing,” she replied, pretending to be blind again. “Role Playing?!” he whispered in frustration, “Out of all things?” “I’m sorry, I panicked,” she whispered back. “Can I join?” David asked. “Umm, no sweetie, this is for adults only,” she said in a sweet tone. “Adults only?!” he whispered again. “Don’t teach him stuff like that.” Ben whimpered. “Oh, adults role-playing,” the little boy said, his face cheered up a bit for whatever reason. "A roleplay that has a strong erotic element, it may involve two or more people who act out roles in a sexual fantasy and may be a form of foreplay and be sexually arousing.” Stunned by this sudden revelation. “Wha-?” is all Mary could say as if all her vocabulary knowledge was locked and put inside a freezer while Ben was blinking profusely, jaw dropping to the floor, also at a loss for words. "Where did you learned that, David?" Ben asked. “I saw it on Sarah’s laptop, she said it was a school project,” David explained. “David, do you even know what some of those words mean?” Mary asked. “Nope,” David shook his head. “Alright then, why don’t you go back to sleep upstairs?” Mary ordered gently. But before David could even answer, a faint sound of footsteps approached. “What’s all the fuss about down here?” asked a young lady at the age of thirteen. It was Sarah, their firstborn. Blonde like her mother, taller than David. Which would make sense because she is undeniably older than him. “Why is mom pointing a gun at dad?” she asked, but no surprised tone came from this question as if this was a normal occurrence. “Oh no, did dad find out about mom not being blind all these times?” Now this question did come out as a surprise. “What?!” both Ben and Mary yelled in disbelief. “You knew?” Mary asked. “Of course I knew, I’m thirteen, not dumb.” she answered. “Since when did you know?” Mary asked. “I don’t know, two years ago I think?” “You knew all these times and didn’t even bother to tell me?!” Ben asked quite loudly. “Hey, It’s none of my business.” Sarah replied. “I got home from school one day and saw mom without her glasses, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without any problems, her eyes were looking precisely at the ingredients needed to make them, not randomly looking around like she always does.” “Oh Lord, give me strength, women in this family are sociopaths, I feel betrayed.” Ben cried out. “That’s not what sociopaths mean,” said David. “Sixteen years.” Ben said. “What?” Mary asked. “For sixteen years, you pretended to be blind in front of me,” Ben said in a soft voice, but you can feel the anger building up just by the sentence. “I’m sorry, I- I…” Mary stammered. “All those dishes, I’ve done…” Ben continued. “Hey, I helped.” Sarah interrupted. “Those dirty laundry I did, changing these two little accident’s diapers…” “Wow, what?” Sarah asked appallingly. “Which I... your biological father, love so much without any doubt…” Ben continued, but Sarah just rolled her eyes. “While you just sit back and relax?” Ben asked, finally finishing his point. “I… I’m so…” “I need to go take a walk," Ben said, letting out a huge sigh of exasperation. "No! You can't leave, they know about you now. They'll kill you too." Mary whispered loudly. "Excuse me? Did you say *kill*?" Ben asked. "Mary please, I'm begging you, please tell me what is going on right now. I swear I will manually give myself a heart attack, try me! I swear!" Ben shouted, slammed the door next to him, and walked towards the couch and took a seat. A mix of frustration and anger could be seen from his face, with a little hint of confusion. Mary thinks he looks cute when he does that. "Sarah, David, can you both go upstairs to your room? I need to talk with your father," Mary asked politely. "I'd rather listen to be honest," Sarah said. "Me too," David followed. "Do you want to find out if this is a real gun?" Mary asked rhetorically. "Alright. Fine. Yeesh. Come on David let's bounce, the *adults* are talking," Sarah sarcastically replied. She grabbed David's arm and dragged him upstairs. "Don't forget to lock the windows too sweetie!" Mary shouted. But Sarah just rolled her eyes. A few moments of silence before Mary decided to tell Ben the whole truth. "Ahem! So uh… What's… Uh… What's going on in your life right now?" he joked as if they were on their first date. "Ben, I need your full attention right now. Can you give that to me for a few moments?" Sarah queried. "I'm sorry, yes you have my undivided attention, sweetie," Ben nodded. “I’m going to tell you the whole truth. My real name is Marie…” “Yeah, Mary. I know,” Ben interrupted. “No… Please, let me talk and you just listen okay?” Mary asked. Ben nodded. “And it’s spelled differently.” She added. “ My real name is Marie Stein, my family… My father is a drug lord in Germany. I ran away from home when I was still fifteen after I found out the truth that he had killed my mother because she threatened to go to the local police and spill his secrets if she wouldn’t stop fooling around with other women. But he couldn’t risk his *career* after hearing that, so he put three bullets to her chest and two on the head just to make sure she was dead. I was playing hide and seek with the butler’s son and was hiding under the closet in their room. I saw the whole thing through the cracks. The next day, I packed days worth of clothing, stole a ton of money from his safe, and made my way to the nearest autobahn- I mean highway, and hitchhiked from Rothenburg to Goch. You have no idea the lengths I went to keep myself safe. But I don’t want to get into that now. It took me months to get that far, and I can’t stop there, I had to keep going because my father has connection, people, and the resources at his disposal just to find me. As long as I am in Germany, I could never feel safe. So I sneaked into the Netherlands through a river. After days of begging the people there to sneak me into the Netherlands, someone finally said yes. The boat was small, it had a secret compartment underneath it, but it was filled with water. He said the only way for him to sneak me into the Netherlands was in that compartment. I spent six hours underwater for him to get me somewhere safe. He only gave me a bamboo straw to breathe through my mouth. I swear to you it felt like days under there. He asked me if I had anywhere else to stay. I said no. He told me that his parents ran a farm near where we were back then. They took me in without question, treated me like their own family. So I helped them with their farm work in exchange for them letting me stay there. Things were fine for a few years. But then somehow my father found out that I was there and sent men to retrieve me.” Her eyes welled up and Mary was trying her best not to cry. But she continued her story. “That night was the first time I heard that song used against me. The jingle you were singing while entering the house. I think it was their signature song, they will sing this song before killing someone. They killed his parents like they were nothing.” she started crying. “Like they were nothing, Ben!” she bawled. “I’m so sorry, Mary. I had no idea you went through all of these,” Ben said. He stood up and put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “You don’t need to tell me anymore if you don’t want to. I hate seeing you cry. In fact, this is the first time I’ve seen you cry,” Ben started to rock their body left and right gently. Mary hugged her back and continued crying. “If I heard the song, would that make me a target?” Ben asked. Mary ceased and snapped back to her senses. Her face went white. “Umm, we have to get out of here. Now!” she dismayed. “Get the kids, I’m driving.” Ben hurried himself upstairs to Sarah’s bedroom only to find her sitting on her bed gun against her head by a man in a ski mask. “Call her up here now,” the man ordered. “Where’s David? Where’s my son?” Ben cried. “I said call her to come up now!” the man screamed. Ben stood there frozen. His leg would not move, his arms would not reach, and his mouth would not open. He had never been in this situation before so his brain could not compute what his next move should be. “Fine I’ll do it myself,” the man said and shot three bullets through the ceiling. Mary rushed upstairs after hearing the gunshots. After seeing what Ben had seen, she immediately pointed her gun towards the man in the ski mask. “Let her go,” she commanded. “Oh lookie here, little Marie has a gun now. You clearly didn’t know what you married into huh, *Ben*?” the man mocked. “Let my family go, it’s me that you want. Let them go!” She yelled. “The song has been sung. Someone has to die. So who is it gonna be, Marie?” taunted the man. “Me,” Ben said. “Please don’t hurt any of my family,” Ben pleaded. “I heard that little story, she told you downstairs, Ben.” the man said. “But that isn’t the full story. Did she tell you what happened to the farmer’s son? Oh boy, he got mad when he found out that his parents were dead and she got away with it. So he did what anyone with a cool villain origin story does. He found out who that girl was and managed to get in touch with her beloved father. He decided that he wanted to work for that girl’s father. You know, because he wanted to destroy things from the inside. Didn’t you notice why your father stopped looking for you, Marie? Because I managed to gain his trust. Can you imagine working for a guy that killed your parents? Thank god he didn’t find out until the last minute of his life. I told him everything about how I met you and how he sent his men to kill my family before putting three bullets on his chest and two on his brain. I decorated that office wall of his magnificently with his pink, pale, and stupid brain. But I didn’t wanna stop there. I had to find the girl who started this all. You. When I finally found you a few weeks back, I had this whole monologue prepared. And at the end of that monologue, I’m gonna find and shoot the one you love most. But then I learned that you had kids. That means I get to enjoy seeing you suffer more!” he screamed. While he was monologuing, Ben noticed that the man’s gun holding hand was pointed to nowhere. His brain finally computed his next steps. And when his hand wasn’t pointing the gun at Sarah, he ran as fast as he could and body slammed the man to the wall. When the man hit the wall, he accidentally fired a bullet. The bullet flies directly towards Mary, penetrating her right lung. “Nooo!” Ben screamed. He threw an uppercut punch to the man’s face, kicked his knee, and snatched his gun. Without even giving it a second thought, he shot the man’s kneecap and foot, Ben would’ve shot the man’s face off, but he is not a killer and couldn’t sleep at night if he did so. The man fell to the ground screaming and groaning and twitching in pain. “Sarah, go find David and I need you to run to Uncle Jerry’s house. Tell them there’s an intruder and call the police. Now!” Ben commanded. Sarah opened the closet’s door and took David, she managed to push David inside the closet when he saw a stranger in her room. Both his arms are clutching his knees, trembling back and forth. She grabbed his hand, pulled him up, and ran downstairs to exit the house and do what her father told her to do. Ben rushed towards Mary. She was sitting on the floor, her body was leaning on the wall, blood on her shirt, slack, and on the carpet. She was gasping for air, her lung had already collapsed. Ben did not know where on earth could he hold her fearing that a slight touch would hurt her more than she was experiencing right then. “You stay put, I’m gonna call an ambulance!” Ben said. “Yeah… no, in my condition, I think I’ll go for a run, haven’t done that in years," Mary replied sarcastically. "Stay here, I don't have much time," “But you’re bleeding a lot! More than when you’re on your monthly thing,” Ben replied with a hint of vibration in his voice, tears welling up in his eyes, and gave her a gentle smile. “Everything is going to be A-Okay. Let me call an ambulance for you.” “No, stay here with me, I can feel the blood filling my throa-” she coughed blood before finishing that sentence. “Alright, I’m gonna sit next to you,” Ben said, kneeling, and grabbed her hand, holding it tight. “I’m sorry I lied to you all these years, I was so scared that my father would find me, I didn’t know he had already died.” Mary said, gasping. “You know my life would’ve been easier if you had told me the truth right?” he replied jokingly. “I could’ve hung out with friends, played some fantasy football, you stole my mid life youth from me.” “What friends?” she asked. They both laughed. Ben didn’t know what to say, so he just looked at her and she did the same. They both knew this was going to be the last moment they’re gonna be together. Mary looked out the window. The moon was really full tonight, decorated with a curtain of stars with a few blurred clouds tainting that image. “I really am sorry, Ben,” she pleaded “After hearing your origin story, I wouldn’t blame you even if you were a villain.” Ben cried. But things got quiet. Her eyes are still open and gazing out the window. But there was no heartbeat, no breathing patterns, her chest stayed the same. She was gone and Ben knew it. He sat there next to his dead wife crying, wiping his tears with his arms and sleeves. He wanted to scream but he had no energy left, he was physically and mentally exhausted. He just sat there crying. There’s nothing more he could do. “Ben!” shouted someone from downstairs. He heard footsteps stomping up the stairs. Jerry then came out of the corner of his eyes. He was carrying his son’s baseball bat. He saw Ben sitting on the ground, nose red, eyes wet, he took a glance next to him to see Mary, but she wasn’t moving, he saw all the blood. He put things together when he saw the man in the ski mask at the other corner of the room. The man wasn’t unconscious, he just sat there quietly, no one knew what he was thinking at that moment. Did he finally find the clarity after killing Mary, or did he feel remorse, no one knows. Jerry rushed to the man and took one swing to his head and rendered the man unconscious. Jerry felt the man’s heartbeat to make sure he wasn’t dead and he gave three good kicks to the stomach afterwards out of anger. “Ben… “ Jerry said, he couldn’t ask if he was okay, and he couldn’t ask what had happened here because he already assumed that this man was a robber trying to rob them. “I don’t know what to do now Jerry, I really don’t,” Ben said, “Mary’s gone,” he quivered. Jerry didn’t say anything after that, he inspected the window the man probably had come from. He saw a ladder straight to the ground from Sarah’s window. “Your kids are safe. They’re with Julia next door. My team will be arriving here soon,” he said. Jerry is a police officer, and Julia is his wife. Ben and Jerry weren’t close but Julia and Mary were since they’re both housewives and spent most of the afternoon together gossiping about other neighbours. “Thank you…” Ben said. It’s the only thing he could say. The police came a few minutes after that. They took Ben outside and tried to ask him a few questions while the other teams were securing that place. But Ben didn’t answer, he just kept gazing through the ground. People came out of their houses to get a glimpse of what was happening. They put Mary’s body in a body bag and took her away to the coroners. He heard tiny footsteps crunching near him, It was Julia. “I’m sorry for your loss, Ben” She said. Ben did not answer, but he nodded. “How’s my kids doing?” he asked. “They’re napping on the couch inside the house,” she replied. “Did you know she wasn’t blind? Mary, She wasn’t blind at all,” Ben said. Julia stood there quietly because she already knew that. She knew all of Mary’s story. A Few hours had passed, and the police, forensics, and all were gone. They had done their job there. Ben went inside his house and he saw the bloodstain in Sarah’s room, so grabbed a bucket full of water, squished some soap in there and grasped the sponge, and started scrubbing the blood stain with soap water. While he was cleaning it, he kept thinking how he grew up an orphan, he had nobody except the people at the orphanage. They helped him get through school, he managed to get a job, and pay for college, and met Mary a few years after graduation. He found out that she also had no parents. He felt like they were made for each other. Together they could fill the void they have been feeling since they were a kid, and promised that that will never happen to their kids. “Hey,” Jerry said, while walking up the stairs. “I’m just checking on you, if you need anything…” “After what has happened to me tonight, they could at least help clean off this blood stain,” he chuckled. Tears welled up in his eyes again.


On the edge of a small dirt town a small boy stood staring into the back of a wandering cart that had made base just out of his little town. The man who owned the cart was bartering goods from it, selling off food, seeds, lines of cloth, and most importantly books. After the hordes of men and woman had finished their dealings, the man took a moment to crouch down by the boy, staring into his eyes he watched the glint from the arching sun in the sky. “What does your eye see boy?” The boy looked over to the back of the cart, scouring its contents from his low angle, only able to see what laid at the edge, his brow furrowed and he walked up to the cart clambering inside the seller wandered over to see what he was doing. The kid carefully stepped between things his eyes softened and his interest started to wane. “Is this really all you have?” A distinct distain in his voice. The seller laughed to himself, looking at his feet he cleared his throat and looked back up to the kid with one final sigh. “Do you not see, anything, worth your time?” Heas scrunched up their nose as they started to move things with their foot as their interest was fading. “Your stuff sucks this time.” “Your townsfolk seem to think otherwise, they bought a lot off of me this trip.” “Well that is because they bought the things that they need, not the things that are useful.” “I would say food is very useful product.” “Nope, food is needed, it is not useful.” “How do you get to that conclusion?” The seller laughed. “Because, if you don’t have what you need you die, if don’t have what is useful, you can’t live.” Heas started to search with a new vigour, moving everything around the cart he searched. The seller was stood back with his eyes open wide, he muttered under his breath. “That is, actually great. I might steal that.” “You have to pay if you want my words.” The seller looked up to see Heas staring at him with his hand out, expecting a coin. “You know what? I can do you one better.” The seller walked past his cart and walked up to the side of his pack animal. He stuck his hand in the pouch on her side and pulled out a book. By the time he turned Heas was already as his feet, looking up with anticipation. The seller knelt down and presented the book to Heas, but not handing it over. Heas ran his finger over the ornate cover of the book, tracing the intricate ridges his eyes were alight. “Now, I need you to listen up Heas.” The seller watched Heas staring at the book, so he tucked it away, bringing Heas’ eyeline to his own. “You need to listen Heas, this book is worth more than this town to the right people, but to a common idiot it is worth the sum of the components and labour it took to make it.” “What is it?” “It is a book about an ancient language. Not only will it teach you how to speak, and write in this language, but understand the culture of who they were.” “Why is it worth so much? We have lots of books like this.” The seller smiled, he kicked out his feet and sat flat on the ground. “Do you know how magic works?” Heas shook his head. “My family say that magic is a crutch for people who are too weak to actually survive in the world.” “I think your family are very stupid, and are afraid of the power of magic.” “Magic is for weak book nerds, so I am going to be a fighter, big and strong.” Heas said flexing his tiny arms. The seller laughed, pulling the book out again. “The way that magic works, is by pulling the meaning of words from a culture, and imbuing them with your very energy to cast spells. Being a spell caster requires a lot of fitness until you are able to make your own source of mana. But you don’t need to worry about that right now.” Heas scrunched up his face, pushing his lips together they puffed out a little. “So, you are saying that magic is for strong, and smart people?” “That is exactly what I am saying Heas.” “And fighters are just strong, and not smart?” “Umm, not really. They are smart and strong too, but the difference is that someone who can cast spells can change the tide of a battle. But it does not matter how good of a fighter you are, you will only ever be one man. With magic you can be so much more, you can harness the power of culture, which is like having hundreds of lives helping you fight.” Heas’ eyes lit up a little, but he was still not sold. “But if I am studying to know things from the book, I can’t work out to get strong.” “Yes you can.” The seller dropped the book on the ground and started to do push ups in front of it. “You can do this, if you find a way to hold it up higher you could practive punching, and sword swings, or even crunches. You can do so many exercises with a book. When you get good at reading you can even run while reading.” “I am good at reading.” Heas said with a huff. “I know you are my small friend. So here is what I am going to do, put your hand out.” Heas put his hand out, and the seller put a single gold coin in it. “Now, do you want this book?” Heas nodded slowly and smiled. “Okay, now my question to you, are you a common idiot?” “NO!!” Heas said, gripping his coin he slammed his fist down. “Listen carefully, if you are really as smart as you say you are you will get this.” Heas focused, but he was still mad that he was asked if he was stupid. “Are you ready?” Heas nodded. “If you don’t know how to fight, you die, if you don’t know how to cast magic you can’t live.” Heas’ eyes rested from their angry glare, his eyes looking up and to the right. “Now I ask you again, are you a common idiot?” “No?” He said, unsure. “Then in which case, if you want this book. It is a hundred, thousand gold.” “Yes!” Heas said hastily. “I did not get what you said, I am so dumb. Can I please buy your book?” “Oh, I didn’t realise that you were a common idiot, in which case, it is one gold coin.” Heas paused, then thrusted his hand out with the coin in it. The seller took the coin and with a grin, he handed over the book. “When I come back around, I expect you to be able to cast magic. Take very good care of this book, a smart boy like you will understand its true worth. I believe in you Heas. I believe you will be taking over the world someday.” Seasons came and went then came again, many times. Finally during the cold months the seller fought his way through the snow, leading his animal he pulled the reins from the front to lead his reluctant animal. But he could see the lights of Heas’ town burning in the night. His breath was thick and visible, and each time he inhaled it would cold burn his throat. He paused for a moment as he struggled to get his breath back. Before he moved on, his beast bellowed and pulled against his reins, the seller struggled to contain him as he felt the snow around his waist melt away. Turning back around he saw a shrouded young man standing in front of him with his hand raised out, steaming pouring off of his body. The seller was too tired to grasp who he was looking at, all he was thinking was that he was thankful for the help. After struggling with his beast he made his way up to the young man, removing his own hood he spoke. “Thanks friend, did not think I would see a magic user here, this small town aint one for the likes.” “That would be the case if wasn’t for you.” Heas removed his hood to reveal his aged face, and the seller grinned uncontrollably, he touched Heas’ face examining him carefully. “You have grown so much Heas, it has been far too long since I have seen you.” The seller paused for a moment and squinted. “You look tired, no exhausted, but somehow worse.” Heas sighed heavily pulling the book from his robes. “I have many things to tell you about the time that has happened in-between now and when you left. Come, let’s get you into the inn.” Heas lead the seller through the town, Heas was radiating a warmth that brought a semblance of life back to the seller, if only a little. As they walked through the town the seller watched as others seemed to turn their head from them as they moved through the town centre. “Is there a reason I am getting the dirty eye from these others?” The seller whispered over Heas’ shoulder. “It is not you, it is me.” There was a long pause, and the seller was about to break it but decided to hold his tongue, knowing that he would get his answers soon enough. With his goods stowed, and his animal looked after Heas and the seller sat in the inn, sitting by a dim candle light in the small room that was rented. “All right, let’s here it boy. What has happened?” Heas sat on a small chair in the room pinching the bridge of his nose he sighed, and scrunched up his face. “There has been so much, and honestly it is why I am leaving, I was actually walking out when you arrived.” “Is this because of the book?” “This is because of things this book has enabled me to do.” The seller nodded and leant forward from his sitting position on the bed. “Don’t let me hold you back, let me know everything you want me to know.” “As you can tell, I look older than I am. I have aged visually much faster, probably because of the fact I have not slept in nearly two years.” The sellers eyes widened just before he looked down to the book in Heas’ possession. “I am so sorry I have given you this burden.” The seller said as they took in how haggard Heas was. Heas’ face did not change, but tears started to roll down his cheeks. “I appreciate your concern, but if I had the option to go back in time and change things, I wouldn’t. I could never give up what I have been given. While I have misused my power, I can bring the balance back, but I have learnt so much from the abuse that I will never regret it.” Heas adjusted themselves in their seat, sitting in a more relaxed position. “Once you left, I ran straight back to my home. I packed a few things, and headed out to the woods where I started practicing. I studied this book cover to cover several times before I even attempted to practice magic. It only took a week to do this, and by the time I was prepared to cast magic from it I had an in-depth understanding of this culture, so the spells flowed from me. Despite doing as you said, I would quickly run out of energy to cast spells, only being able to cast two to three spells an hour, and they were not complicated spells, very simple ones, very beginner friendly. So I spent a few months running every day, but I also did a lot to expand my mind, trying to improve my mana pool. It did not matter how hard I trained, I always fell pray to sleep, exhaustion, and so that was my first goal.” “You thought you could eliminate the need of sleep?” “That is exactly what I thought I could do, instead I just removed the ability to sleep. At first I would feel tired, but pushed through it. Then the desire to sleep kicked in, and when I finally decided that I should sleep, I quickly found out it was not possible and I have been trying to undo what I did since that moment.” “But after two years, still nothing? That does surprise me, you are a smart boy.” “I am actually a common idiot, something I truly believe. The more I have read the more I believe that. The amount of records of spell casters doing what I have done, and burning out still young is an overwhelming majority of beginner spell caster stories. But unlike them, I believe I have a resolve that will not be broken, I have not focused on what is hard about my situation, instead I spend my time learning and exercising. Strengthening my body and my mind. I am giving myself the best chance of fixing myself by staying busy. But those options are limited now, so I am moving out to join the imperial guard training ranks. Hoping to gain access to new knowledge, and put my sleeplessness to its proper use.” “It makes sense, but it makes me sad that this is where you are going. You sound so old Heas, you have lived so much more than kids your age, and appear to be under such an immense amount of stress. You don’t have to push yourself, you can relax.” “I can’t relax, each day I don’t figure out my sleep is another day of unbearable exhaustion with no release. And each day I stay here is another reminder of the fact that I have killed.” The seller’s mouth opened and closed a few times, only creaky groans escaped his mouth. “I don’t expect you to say anything, there is nothing to say. I opened a portal by accident which a couple of the other kids fell through, their screams were so horrible that I closed the portal with no attempt to get them out.” “That is why you get the looks.” “Exactly, no one can prove I did anything, but in their hearts they know I killed them, and as the only person to cast magic in a town who shy’s away from magic, it has just distanced me from everyone else. This is why I am leaving, I have lived under their hateful gazes for too long, and I am sick of it. As a spell caster I will be welcomed to the guard with open arms, there is no need to stay here.” “I understand, I do wish you the best of luck, and If I hear anything in the world I will get the information back to you.” “No you wont. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change anything, not because I am better for it, but because I am addicted to the power. I hate you, and this is the last curtesy I shall give you, you gave an un-imaginably powerful weapon to a child, and even now I am still a child, but having to deal with something that most adults would not manage to cope with. I have had my childhood stolen, and I will never forget your negligence around giving me this book. But the more I am involved with it, the more I see that this culture has a culture that lends itself to magic extremely well. Almost like it was designed for it, unlike other cultures who have the capability of magic, but almost like the ability was crammed in.” Heas held the book high and stared at the seller. “Where did you find this, because no spell caster should have it.” “I stole it, I was near an excavation of an ancient ruin. I did not know the true price of this book, but I knew it was something I could barter with a spell caster. But I figured if I got you into magic you may come with me one day, and the magic would help me far more than any magic could.” “You are a stupid, ignorant, and harmful to those around you.” “I am a trader, everything I do is calculated moves to try and get the biggest possible returns. It has always been that way.” “You say that like the child I was should know that, I was smart, I can see that. But I would never notice when being taken advantage of. You are a hurtful fool, and lucky that my hatred has gone from the desire of vengeance to a pity for you. You will never hold something this valuable again, and you will never understand how to be human. Goodbye seller, if you are lucky you will never see me again.” Heas wandered from the room leaving the seller alone, staring at the wall he felt the warmth of the room fade with Heas gone. His eyes glazed over, then sharpened again as he licked his fingers and snuffed the candle.


“Let me call you back in a few minutes, okay?” “Okay. Bye.” As soon as she hung up, Terrence sighed and threw his phone on the plastic wrapped couch. Hands on his waist, he took his time examining the empty white walled apartment he had just moved into. Walking past the furniture, he slid the floor to ceiling doors apart and admired the view of the evening sky’s reflection on the man-made lake across the streets adjacent to his apartment block. “Something new,” he said to himself. He had just got accepted in a new firm and had to move halfway across the country to the bustling city. Though he was to start the following week, he preferred to get there a bit earlier to get the lay of the land and settle in before he started. After setting up his microwave, he heated some frozen dinner he bought at the shop on the ground floor and sat in silence as he ate. The whole time he was wondering what it would be like to work in a new city. He hadn’t travelled much in the fifteen years he had worked, only moving to one more auditing firm before this new one, and the thought of being in unfamiliar territory made him shudder. “It’ll be worth it,” he said again. Just then, the lights disappeared, leaving his phone as the only source of light in the room. “Oh, come on,” he grumbled, “day one?” He took his phone to make his way to the door, eager to complain to the caretaker, but stopped when he heard a loud thud. He froze at the door, his handshaking on the handle when he heard a low moaning sound, like someone breathing, followed by a shuffle of footsteps down the stairs. “I thought I was the only one on this floor,” he whispered. His ear on the door, he waited to hear anything else. The monotone drone of his fridge along with the room filling up with bright lights made him jump. He smiled at himself as he returned his phone to the charger. “Day one. I’m living next to a ghost,” he said to himself while chuckling. He then made his bed and plopped onto it, blacking out in a few minutes… The wind blew across his face in his convertible car, his left arm on his girlfriend’s’ thigh as she giggled in glee. They drove along the coast for about two hours, wanting to spend time with each other before he moved. Just then, the truck he had not seen hooted at him, forcing him to brake suddenly before it rammed into him with a loud thump… He sat up in his bed, wondering what had just happened. He sighed as he saw the time. 3 a.m. he lay back on his bed in the hopes of getting back to the coast, but the loud thumping sound came again. He sat very still, barely breathing and staring into the darkness. The thumping sound came again, followed by what sounded like a nail across the tiled floors. He bit his teeth and clenched his fist at the sound, only easing up when it stopped at the wall behind his back. He knelt on the bed and pressed his ear at the wall. He jumped when he heard a low growl, and this prompted a shuffle of footsteps, followed by a loud bang on his door. “What the fuck is that?” he asked himself. He puffed his chest out and proceeded to the front door, counting to three before he could open it. All he saw was the fluorescent lighting in the corridor, the door across his own and the stairwell. “Was I imagining all of this?” he asked himself as he closed his won door. He walked in the dimly moonlit living room to close the curtains behind the sheer blinds. However, he froze in his tracks, eyes popping out and breathing rapidly when he saw a figure, draped in a hoodie and mask and standing under a street lamp, staring right into his apartment. The man stood there for some time, looking through his door, then turned and went away, after which Terrence ran back to his room and covered himself in his blankets, hoping to get this living nightmare over with. *** “And he just stood there?” the voice on the other end of his phone asked him. “I swear, Carla,” he said as he gobbled down his cereal, “he was just looking into my house.” “Did he see you?” “I don’t think so.” “I told you not to pick that place. Didn’t I tell you not to? Now see your life, sharing an apartment with thieves,” she scoffed, making him chuckle a bit. “I’m going to have a word with the caretaker. He should know what happened here.” “Or, and I’m just saying…” “We’ve had this discussion before,” he said with a dismissive tone. “Okay, okay. But this wouldn’t happen if you accepted the company’s offer.” “I’ve stayed in one place too long, Carla. There’s more to the world than one place all the time,” Terrence said, nodding in self-assurance. “Okay then. But make sure you check whatever the hell is going on there.” “Will do. I’ll call you later,” he said as he hung up. After a quick shower, he put on a white shirt with brown pants and black sandals and walked out of his apartment. He got to the gate of the complex and stood underneath the same lamp post that the man from last night had stood. Leaning on it, he crossed his arms and looked into his living room. “Even with the sheers, he couldn’t have seen me,” he told himself as he peered into his room. He wondered what the man could have wanted in there to begin with. “Maybe he’s just a tenant,” he said as he left the complex and walked to a nearby coffee shop. He ordered his usual white with two spoons of sugar and a bun, relaxing as he perused the paper. His eyes skimmed through the usual politics, and he would have skipped to the sports section had the headline not caught his attention. “WHERE IS PURITY?” “Six months later,” the excerpt read, “the whereabouts of Ms. Purity Kivananga still remain a mystery. Last seen at her lavish Lakeview Apartments, she was rumored to have gone out with her friends before never being seen again.” “Lakeview?” Terrence asked, finishing the statement in his head. ‘She lived in our complex?’  He shook his head when he saw her picture. She seemed full of life, with pearly white teeth brightening up the frame, flowing black hair that sported a pink clip on the right side, as well as a golden heart-shaped necklace. “How many of these girls are going to end up missing?” he asked himself as he turned the page, Purity’s disappearance being a dark cloud in an otherwise bright day. After going through the rest of the paper, he folded it neatly and walked across the road to the lake. He walked past many people walking their dogs, others playing with their children and some like him, just walking around. Just then, he spotted his caretaker, a tall lean gentleman with drooping shoulders, across the water body on his way back to the complex. He hastened his pace just in time to reach him as he got to the gate. “Excuse me?” he said as the caretaker turned around. His drooping eyelids, ashen face and dry lips did very little to convince people of his rather warm and friendly character. “Hello, I’m Terrence. I just moved in…” “Ah, you’re the new guy,” he spoke slowly, a smile breaking out on his face, “how can I help you?” “Yes, I have a complaint.” “Oh, what is it?” the caretaker asked, his face a genuine look of concern. “Well, last night, I heard some sounds in the unit next to mine. like there wass someone banging something in there or something. Then last night, just at that gate, I saw a man looking through my doors.” The caretaker’s face did not break as he spoke, and when Terrence finished explaining, he merely nodded. “I see,” he said, “what floor are you on again?” “Fourth floor, D8,” Terrence said. The caretaker gulped, looked down and asked Terrence to follow him to his quarters. “You said D8?” “Yes. I heard some strange sounds and saw a man looking into my apartment,” Terrence said, watching him unlock the CCTV control room, where he was met by an array of monitors. “I’ll look into it, sir,” he said, “I’ll let you know what I find.” “You have cameras in the rooms?” Terrence asked, a bit mortified. “No, just the common spaces. Give me till the end of the day, and I will let you know what I find,” the caretaker said. “Okay, I’ll come back later in the evening then. I have a few errands to run anyway,” Terrence said as he bade him goodbye. *** He spent the night dancing in a night club and was on his way back home in an Uber. “So you live at Lakeview?” the driver asked, eager to break the tense silence. “Yes. I just moved in,” Terrence replied. “That’s where that girl lived. Purity, I think,” he said. With that, Terrence leaned forward, resting his arm on the center console. “You know about that?” “I dropped her home that day.” “What?” “Yes. I spent a good amount of time explaining that to the police. But I don’t believe she went missing. I think she was killed.” “Why do you say that?” “Well, I remember her saying that she was trying to get away from someone who came to town looking for her. She said he had bugged her phone or something, so she left that night with her friends. She hoped that he would have stopped by the time she got home.” “Did someone else know this? Surely, she could have told someone about it?” “No idea. After that night, she was never heard from again. Just like those other ones.” “Other ones?” “Yes. There have been several disappearances in the past few weeks.” That statement ushered in a long period of silence that was only broken when he said goodbye to the driver. “Hallo, sir,” the guard greeted him as he opened the gate for him. “Hello,” he replied as he smiled. “Did you find what you were looking for?” “What do you mean?” “Yesterday. You came here and stood under that light for a few minutes. You asked me to not mind you because you were looking at something,” the guard explained. Terrence stared at him, remembering the man from yesterday peering through his window. “Um, no,” he said, “did I say anything else?” “You haven’t said much in the six months you’ve lived here, sir,” the guard said. “Six months? That cant be right, I moved in on Monday,” Terrence said. The guard seemed taken aback, but his face was resolute. “No, that isn’t right. He! How much have you had to drink?” the guard asked as he laughed, patting Terrence on the back. He merely chuckled awkwardly, shaking his head at the guard’s words. “Can we talk tomorrow then?” he asked. “No problem, sir. Have a good night,” the guard said as Terrence went on. He passed by the caretaker’s quarters to find him asleep on his table, the door ajar. “Hmm,” he said as he went to his room. As he stood by his door, he looked at the one across him for a few minutes before he headed into his own house… *** The thumping sound woke him up again. He sat up on his bed, heart racing and nerves on edge. “This again,” he said as he got up, carried a cloth and tiptoed all the way to the room. Luckily the door was open, so he carefully opened it and made his way in. the layout was much like his own, save for the lack of furniture in the living room, the blood stains on the floors and the broken doors. He walked into the bedroom and stared at the bed with crumped sheets. He squatted and switched on his torch, seeing Purity’s gagged face looking up at him. she tried to scream, but he held the cloth at her nostrils until she passed out, after which he dragged her from underneath and placed her on the bed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the heart-shaped necklace and put it on her. He then crawled beside her and spooned her, his hand navigating the scars on her body as he whispered in her ear: “We were meant to be together.” ***


“It’s official ma'am. You are no longer Mrs.Sakthi Rajan,” the lawyer said to me and handed over the divorce papers. Six months later…. In my apartment... “Neha, it’s late. Hurry up or else you will be late to school”, I yelled from the doorstep of our apartment. We lived in a 2BHK apartment in Ashok Nagar, one of the safest environment for residence in Chennai. “On my way, Mum”, Neha replied. After a few minutes, she came out of her bedroom, dressed up in the ironed uniform, all energetic and enthusiastic. She always has this charm in her eyes which gives me the energy to conquer this world every day as a single mother. She is the lighthouse of my lost soul. I dropped her off in the school in my motorbike and then went to an interview for the job of a primary school teacher. That was my twenty-fifth interview in the last six months. In a populated city like Chennai, where there were about one lakh engineers jobless, it was difficult to get a job. I tried all possible jobs starting from IT employee to even a receptionist, but I was rejected everywhere. My age, my qualifications and my lack of experience were a huge drawback. For your information, I was just thirty-one years old. I worked as a receptionist in a company for a while, but I was fired for my carelessness. Maybe those twenty-four rejections were for my own good, I guess because I wouldn’t have ended up where I am in my life, right now. Though I was overqualified for the primary school teacher job, I didn’t have a choice at that time. I needed money to support my child. For the past six months, my parents had helped me financially but I no longer wanted to burden them. In the principal’s office … “ Ms.Sakthi Kumar, I am sorry, you are overqualified for this job”, the principal said. He was in his late sixties and appeared to be a kind and a gentleman. But at that moment, that gentleman took a decision that was not in favour of me. I had to take my stance then because it was my last chance or else I might even lose my kid to the father. I could not lose my temper at that stage. So, I made myself calm and took the last shot. I said, ” Sir, This is my twenty-fifth interview. I had constantly been rejected for my qualifications or my lack of experience or my age. After all these rejections, I realised that I lost my identity by investing in someone’s. Now, I have to create another identity for the sake of my daughter at least. So please do give me a chance to rediscover myself”. He was silent for a moment and said, “ Which grade do you want to handle Sakthi? “ That night, I was looking at the Saturn through my telescope in the balcony of my apartment. The light from the planet soothed my nerves and made me feel calm. It has always been these stars, which are the medicine for my pain. We shared an unspoken bond between us. That’s why, my dream was to study about these stars. I got my bachelor degree in Physics, so that I can pursue astronomy. But, I didn’t have the resources to study astronomy back then and it was impossible for an Indian woman to stay single after the age of twenty-two .After divorce, it didn’t occur to me to continue pursuing my dream until the chitchat with that one special person. you will get to know the person in the later part of my story. One year later… In my school, somewhere near the playground, during the lunch break… “ Ms.Sakthi , could I have a minute ? “the principal asked. “Sure sir, what is it ?“ I replied. “Meet me in my office, after the class gets over in the evening, “ he said. “Any important news,Sir?” I asked. “ you will know it soon”, he replied. Then he left. The remaining classes went as usual after lunch. After the class got over in the evening, I went to meet the principal. I had no clue what was about to come. I knocked on his door. I heard him saying “ Come on in” from behind the door. So, I got in and wished him. He wished me back. Then he asked me to take a seat and continued,“ How are you ? “. I couldn’t understand what he actually meant. So I replied, “ I am fine, Sir.” He remained silent. I got anxious and asked, "Is there any bad news?” He was silent again. It made me even more anxious and I asked, “ Are you going to fire me?”. This time he replied laughing, “ No! Absolutely not! You are one of the best teachers here.” I felt relieved but at the same time as a fool. Then he continued “Now, I want an answer for my question, my child” I said,“ Sir, really, I am alright as I told you before”. But I know deep inside that I was bluffing. Yes, I was not alright. Daytimes went by real fast with Neha and school. But, in the nights, after I tucked Neha into bed, everything went haywire inside me. Every nerve, every bone in my body felt an irresistible force caused by this huge void in me like an actual black hole, sucking out the life in them. I only slept two hours a day. Neha did cheer me up for some time but the fact that I had to let her go one day made it even worse. Even her light couldn’t save me from losing myself into this void day by day. Therapy was of no use. Sometimes I even stayed up all night looking at the night sky. They had always made me feel better. Those stars were the only support for me against the gravity of the void inside me. I knew it was like fighting the lion with a stick. But those stars gave me the strength to wake up everyday morning. “Sakthi, are you really okay?” the principal's tone was insistent this time. I couldn’t lie to him thereafter. So I said the truth,“ No, sir”. I felt like the hell was let loose inside me after saying those words. I couldn’t concentrate anymore. We both remained silent for a while. Then he broke the silence. He said,“ what are you going to do about it ?” I remained silent as I didn’t have an answer for that. Then he said,“ My child, I think you should take break, from all the responsibilities, from the world. Make a trip to someplace you like to discover yourself” I replied, “ Sir, but, I cannot leave things just like that. I have to take care of Neha.” He said,” Neha is a teenager now. I think she can take care of herself. Or else leave her to your parents. They will take care of her. Other adjustments can be made. Your salary will not be reduced as you will be going in medical leave. So, just let it go. “ The idea sounded pleasing but I felt uncomfortable about the trip. It was just an insane idea to leave all the things that mattered to me and fly away. He understood my discomfort through my face. So he enquired, “ what is it ?” I said, “ don’t you think, the idea is immature? You are suggesting me to just leave things and fly away like a youngster” He replied, “ do you remember what you told me in the interview that day when I said that you were overqualified for the job? You said that you wanted a chance to create an identity for you with so much determination. Only that determination of yours got you the job that day my child. Now, it is all missing in you. You are living just because you have to live. I have seen you eating your lunch in the staff room, so lost and unhappy, like your life was going to end after the lunch. And that’s not how one should live his life. Where is all that determination? Where is all that passion you had? ” I couldn’t reply for this question and again I became silent. At that moment, I realised that I had completely lost myself into the void and I had to take a break to discover my way back to normal. Also, the thought of taking a break made me feel hopeful in a long time. He sensed the change of mood in my face. His smirked and continued,” Now get out of this office and go find yourself”. I smiled. I greeted him and stood up to leave. But, I wanted to ask this one question to him or else it would keep on nagging me. So, before I reached for the doorknob, I turned around and asked the principal, “ Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?” The principal replied,“ My child, it’s because that I had also been in that situation. If I had taken this decision at the right time in my life, I wouldn’t have lost fifteen years of life. But I was too absorbed in my responsibilities to take care of myself. So, just take a break .” That day, he became the saviour of my life for the second time. Then I said with a smile, “Sir, I am going on medical leave. The requisition mail for the leave will reach by tomorrow morning .” He exclaimed, “ That’s the spirit my child!” Then we both smiled and greeted each other. I opened the door and left the office. He began to continue his work. He usually leaves the office by 5 pm. Then I went to home. I discussed my decision with my parents and to my surprise, they supported my decision without any resentment. That night, I slept for four hours. A week later…. “ Neha, take care of yourself. Don’t trouble grandpa and grandma. I will be back in two weeks” I said. “ Take care mum. Be safe”, Neha replied in all glow and smile. I could give anything for that smile of hers. Neha, my love. Then we hugged each other. It was really difficult for me to leave her. But I have to do so for both of us. I can not continue like that with that void inside me. It might even affect my relationship with Neha. I had to leave, got myself better and returned to Neha as a better mum. “ Take care, darling”, my mum said. My dad hugged me. I loaded my dad’s SUV with the essentials for the trip and got in the car. I inserted the key in the keyhole and the engine revived. I bid them goodbye and pulled the gear. I had decided to go to Bangalore and spend some time there . So, I took the Bangalore highways. I stopped only at the petrol bunks for filling the fuel tank and to get some food. Sometimes I was listening to songs on the radio as I decided not to carry my phone with me or I was listening to songs in my iPod through headphones , to pass the travel time. I was also very worried about Neha. At times, I thought of returning, but the principal's words gave me the spirit to go on. After twelve hours… I didn’t know how I ended up in NH 16. After I reached Bangalore, I didn’t want to stop driving. I just wanted to go with the flow. I liked the wind hitting my face. I liked its smell. It made me feel better. So, I continued to drive. After two days… Hunger or sleep couldn’t stop me from driving. I didn’t bother to call up my parents to inform my whereabouts anymore. In fact, I even stopped thinking about Neha. I hardly took a bathe. I still don't know what gave me the courage to take such a risk to travel so far alone. I was so lost that the distance wasn’t a matter anymore. After four days… I was driving relentlessly. Nobody could have stopped me on that day especially. That night, I was listening to a classic Elvis Presley song my iPod, "ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT?" The first paragraph goes by the verse, “Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight? Are you sorry we drifted apart? Does your memories stray to a brighter summer day When I kissed you and called you sweetheart? Do the chairs in your parlour seem empty and bare? Do you gaze at your doorstep and pictured me there? Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again? Tell me, dear, are you lonesome tonight?” After the first paragraph, I felt the heat of the tears welling up in my eyes and I felt a pain in my throat .Then for the second paragraph, I was crying so hard. I was slowly starting to lose my breath because of crying for a long time. My eyes were burning as it went dry. My hands were going numb. I hadn’t eaten in days and the headache as increasing rapidly. I began to feel very weak. I couldn’t stop anywhere because it was midnight. So, I kept driving and crying. That night it was the first time, I ever cried about anything like that because of the pain which was dwelling inside me for more than a year. After divorce, I was running so badly to get things settled for Neha and I, that I never really cared about the pain caused by the separation. I never cried about it once because I wanted to stay strong for Neha. But the pain did created this void inside me . In addition, the fear of leading the rest of life alone after Neha had grown big, made it even worse. So, this time, I didn’t try to stop the tears like I was doing for the past one year. Later, I realised that crying only made me stronger. Now, I never stop my tears After five hours of this meltdown, I opened the window and got my head out of the car to get some fresh air. Above me, I saw the stars which were shinning their fuel out selflessly to give light to its planets. From the age of twelve, those stars have been a part of my sorrow and happiness than anybody else. Now, I make a livelihood with the help of those stars. I remember how I fought with my mum for getting me a telescope and I had carried it with me to the trip. A few more hours later, I saw the most beautiful sunrise of my life. I saw the sun rising above the horizon filling the sky with its yellowish-orange light and my heart with awe and peace. Soon the pain and fear inside were overshadowed by the sunlight. Then my relentless driving came to an end. Nobody, not even Neha knows about this dark four days of my life. The world still believes that I went to Bangalore. Everything came to senses for me then. I couldn’t recognise my surroundings. It was all filled with tall green trees on either side of the road. I couldn’t see a human settlement until evening. In the evening, I saw a village in the far end. I got there by half an hour. When I got into the village, I stopped by a local teashop and asked the chaiwallah about the place and directions for a hotel to stay. He looked like he was in his late forties and it was my luck that he was able to understand and talk Hindi because various states of North India have various dialects and the locals of these states hardly knew Hindi. He said that it was a village in Kamrup district in Assam and to my surprise, he offered me to stay in his house as there were no hotels or lodges to stay. It seemed that I had to travel another hundred kilometres to get to the main city, Guwahati, to get a hotel to stay in. I was confused whether to accept his help. He sensed my confusion and said that it is almost like a tradition in their village to offer help to the tourists like me who travel by road and reassured me that his intentions were pure. I really didn’t think about the consequence of staying in a stranger’s house. I just wanted to go with the flow just like the stars in the night sky. Then he took me to his house. The houses in Assam are known as Ikra house because they use a weed named Ikra in the construction of walls and roofs, which is commonly available in the locality. The chaiwallah's house was a single storey building mostly made of wood materials. His house was identical like the others in the surrounding. When I went inside the house, I was warmly greeted by his wife and his three sons. The wife appeared to be in her late thirties and the three beautiful kids were around the age of ten to twelve. Those kids reminded me of Neha. She would have loved this place. It was almost night when I got settled in the house. Their house had a hall, a kitchen and there were no rooms to sleep. They usually slept in the hall. So, I had to sleep with him in the hall. We had rice and lentils for dinner, my first solid food in four days. Though they had no riches, they were as happy as a rich family. Then we all settled for the night. But I couldn’t sleep. So, I went out with my telescope to see the stars. For a better view, I climbed up my car and sat on its roof. After some time, I heard a voice from below. It was the voice of the youngest kid of the chaiwallah, Amarendar. He asked me with an innocent face, “ what is that thing you are having in your hand?”. The kid's Hindi was too bad that it was difficult to understand his Assamese mixed Hindi. I replied, “ it’s a telescope. It is used to look at the stars more closely”. Then I told him to come up to have a look at it. He came up and I showed him how to use it and I taught about how to look at stars. He learned them with so much interest and passion that I saw the twelve-year-old me in his eyes. Then he asked me, “ How do you know about all these stars? “ I replied, “ These stars had travelled with me in my journey for the past twenty years, through my sorrows, through my happiness. They are almost like my friends, like the ones you have in school. “ He interrupted me and asked me, “ like Bhupinder and Bhushan”. I nodded and then continued, “ We play hide and seek, we eat food together and we help each other during difficult times. We also share secrets with each other about us and that’s how I know about them”. He was amused by my answer and asked me, “Do stars talk to us?”, I replied, “Yes, of course, the sky is filled with a written message from the stars all over the universe. But you should know techniques to decrypt the message, like the treasure hunt game. You should gather clues which will lead to other clues and finally you will reach your treasure.” He could not believe what he heard. Then, he was keeping on asking me questions. After some time, he went into the house to sleep, but I stayed there. I was replaying the conversation that I had with the kid in my head. Then I realized that I should continue to pursue my dream of becoming an astronomer, and this time I should not lose it for anybody. After a few hours, I went to sleep. This was the first time in months that I had slept for eight solid hours. The next day morning, I prepared for leaving to Guwahati. Before I left, I gave them some money for accommodating me and I gave my telescope to Amarendar. I bid my goodbye to them and left the village. That night, I discovered myself again because of the kindness of that family and the innocence of that kid. In this world of crime and injustice, that village is the place of God, if he exists. Then I made my visit to Guwahati. I visited the important tourists part and returned after spending three days in the city. Later, in my other visits to Guwahati, I came to know that Amarendar was really interested in stars. Yes, I still make visits to the village. The family still allow me to stay the night in their place. And obviously, it’s a secret. At present, five years later In Chennai, “ Ms. Sakthi Kumar, we are glad to inform you that you have been awarded the fellow of the royal society award for your significant contributions in the field of astronomy and cosmology, especially for your bold ideas that the mankind dared to imagine for the past three hundred years, about the beginning of the universe in your book , TO INFINITY AND BEYOND “, the mail read.


Jeremy woke up, cold in his bed. The sun was not yet up. Ever since the collapse, he always had to be on constant guard. He went out and opened his blinds, peering out of his window. He checked if the fire beacons were lit. They weren’t. A sigh of relief escaped him. The beacons were lit whenever an invading army had been sighted near the town. Since the Great War twelve years ago had destroyed modern civilization, all modern technology had been lost, and groups of towns were ruled by local warlords. There had been rumors of an invading army being nearby the town, but apparently, they were false. He grabbed a candle and walked downstairs. Nobody else was up yet. He checked to see if the fire from last night was still lit. It wasn’t. He’d have to do with just fruit for this morning, he didn’t have the patience to light matches, or the time to prepare something else. He decided on a few apples and picked out a book at random from his shelf. It was the *History of the Collapse* by Jeremy Roberts. Unlike most books nowadays, written in scrawly handwriting, as if the author were anxious to finish the copy, or the older books in plain, emotionless print, this one was written in carefully crafted, italic handwriting. It was a rare artifact, bought at a bargain from a homeless man who had wanted to burn it for firewood. He flipped it open and began reading. *“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones” - Albert Einstein, 1948. The leaders of all the great powers of earth knew that another worldwide conflict would be the last, but that would not, could not stop them. The rampant capitalism of the west had driven the political leaders there to become beholden to* *mega corporations, unable to act autonomously any longer. In 2049,* *the democracy of the twentieth century was less than a façade, it was an act. Nobody* *made an effort* *anymore to hide the corruption from the common citizen, they would do, could do nothing. The eastern nations didn’t have it much better. While the Emperor of China, having dropped any façade of “President” in the 2020s, had* *effectively* *unlimited power in his country with his iron grip on technology, it was not enough for him to stop any of the upcoming changes. For he could only stay in power if his economy continued to grow, which meant continued* *conflict with the western powers. Tensions continued to rise throughout the 2030s, with the Taiwan Incident, the Internet War, and the* *Second Scramble for Africa* *all contributing to the inevitable conflict. But what sparked the war was* *yet another conflict in the middle east.* *In 2043,* *Iran, with a new fascist government in power, had invaded the rich oil fields of Iraq. Although largely depleted, corporations in the States still made enormous profits* *off of* *oil sales, profits they could not afford to lose. They pressured* *the President into declaring war. Initially, Iran’s numerical superiority* *overwhelmed Iraq’s defenses, but-* Jeremy got bored. He flipped to a random page towards the end of the book. *After the battle of Delhi had drained both India’s and China’s last resources, the last stable* *great powers* *in Asia collapsed. Popular rebellions in China, along with* *warlords taking advantage of the relative weakness of the state in India, broke the governments of both nations.* *Russia, perhaps for the best, had already dropped out of the war and was* *in the midst of* *a brutal civil war, but as they had stopped the carnage earlier, they had managed to somewhat avoid total collapse. Europe was a tangle of feudal states, and a few scatted small nations with even a few local democracies left around. After fighting off Russia and the north Africans, the peninsula had broken from the continued strain of the war, although national governments still held token power. America had still never been invaded even during the war, but the complete collapse of unity combined with the decades of hate for the government caused by* *it’s* *total inebriation to corporations* *caused an almost immediate breakdown of federal power just a few years after the start of the war. With the south Americans having long been effective puppets of the States, and the Africans being a blob of mixed loyalties to Europeans and Chinese, neither of them* *were* *stable enough to last long either.* *All major governments* *thus collapsed during the war. The diseases spread during the war as a result of biological warfare were also a contributing factor to the collapse,* *with a major portion of the world population being killed within the weeks following their release, and a steady decline thereafter. The complete destruction of the climate also lowered the total carrying capacity of the planet, and previously unknown feedback loops* *had caused a mass global cooling of the planet, devastating crops. Much modern technology was lost, and an EMP following shortly after the war wiped out any remaining hope of rebuilding to the prior technological level.* *If the governments of the major powers had prepared plans for the collapse that had unfolded, they were lost in the confusion.* Jeremy sat up. He bookmarked his page and closed the book. He wondered how with all the devices the world had had, with all the powers of the governments, they had managed to fall so much to their current state. Growing up in the shadow of the collapse, the technology of the previous world was just a glint in his foggy memories of early childhood, with it always being overshadowed by the struggles of the wars. He was 16. He got up, he was done eating. He walked outside, he was heading to the town. There wasn’t any school anymore, for there wasn’t much to teach. He would be going to buy some new farming tools in exchange of some excess produce, which he had packed. While the older generations pushed for a select group to be taught all the lessons of the old world, most did not learn much at all of what had happened before. All of the incredibly impressive, almost magical devices seemed almost like fantasy to many, and they saw no use for what they considered frivolous when there was work to be done building the foundations for a new society. What use was knowing how a telegraph functioned when they simply didn’t now? Nowadays you’d just ask the local Messenger to carry a message for you, the location they were to deliver it, and the person who should receive it. More confidential information was discussed in person, and urgent news was sent across the fire beacons. He snapped out of his thoughts as he arrived at the edge of town, and to his alarm, saw the tops of the fire beacons alight. He started running.


“Tell me about it all William. I need to know so I can help you OK?” 1 Week earlier It was a dark rainy day in the small town of West Hembrook. The rain had been pouring for the last 3 days. The rhythmic tapping on the windows accompanied by the mighty howl of the wind through the suburban streets was annoying and made it to hard to sleep. I lied awake on my bed. Staring at the ceiling. Moving my gaze only to check the time. 2:56 a.m. 4 Minutes. 4 more minutes till that hour. Till that other world opens. Till i can escape and explore that bizarre yet inviting taste of a reality not so infected with the human disease. Plagued with nothing unlike the world I live in now. The world I live in now has nothing but war. Crime. Sickness. Cold. I crave that other world. An addiction so euphoric I don’t need substances to escape from the death that’s plagued my life. I hear the faint creak of my closest door. I look over to see the door slowly open. I stare at my closet waiting for it to appear. A tall well dressed figure. Clad in a suit you’d expect to see in a 1930’s movie or at a celebrity party. A top hat atop it’s dark what I’d expect to be it’s head with it’s black and white gloves and fancy dress shoes. It’s face had two beady eyes that would seem to glow and a smile that would be ear to ear if it had any. I had felt under dressed with a grey hoodie and blue jeans with some white sneakers. It slowly emerges from my closest. It stands there almost reaching my ceiling. It must be at least 8 feet tall if not more. It extends its long slender arm with an open hand as it awaits me to take it’s hand. I get up out of my bed. Walk towards it and take it’s hand without hesitation. It speaks to me in a voice that’s almost raspy and dry but yet comforting. Relaxing. “You know the rules young William. Correct?” It says. “Of course.” I reply in a voice almost confident. Truth is I'm kind of scared. This figure brings comfort but unease at the same time. “Then please repeat them to me before we make way.” It says softly. “I must never spend more than 3 hours at a time in your world. I must never reveal this world to anyone else from my world. I must never take anything from your world to mine. And I must never fall asleep in your world. I believe that is all of them.” I say unsure. “You are missing one. Never ever go to the garden. You understand? Tis the only place off limits young William.” “Oh yeah. Of course. What is so important about the garden?” “Tis a place of sickness and death. Much like your world. Unlike your world the garden will mystify you with it’s enchanting beauty. Before it corrupts you entirely and feeds upon your darkest desires as it slowly drives mad.” It explains. “ Oh.” “Promise me young William. Never go near the garden. Promise me.” It demands. “I promise.” I reply. “Very good. Now we can be on our way.” “I never did ask. What can I call you?” I ask. The curiosity had been gnawing at me for some time. I never had the courage to ask it though. It might have been I felt uncomfortable or I was just too rude to even want to. “Ahh. Young William you can call me Oswald.” It replies. I nod my head and it leads me into the darkness of my closest. Just like before Oswald cover’s my eyes with it’s hand as it mutters something under its breath. I feel a cool breeze and suddenly the sound of birds chirping. The smell of roses and strawberries. The feel of warm sun upon my skin. The sound of a running river. Oswald removes it’s hand from my face. I look around and smile unable to hold my excitement. I almost laugh as I turn in a circle taking in a such rare beauty. No darkness. No rain. No howling wind carrying the scent of pain and death. Just the smell of roses and a world full of the most positive things I could imagine. Deer ran free in a field just left of me. A town just down the road made of stone full of creatures not human but friendlier and more human than you’d ever find in my world. Free of the emotions that drive the greedy man or the violent psycho that roams free in that cesspool of rotting happiness. “Now young William. You know what this is.” It says gazing down at me. “Of course. It’s a Homeward orb. It'll bring me home.” “And this?” It asks as it holds a golden dial attached to a bronze circle with series of different suns on it. “It’s a sundial. You use it to tell time using the sun's location. When it gets to the sun in the middle I set it down and step on the orb to go home. If i don’t something bad will happen. Right?” “Ah yes. You’ve got it all. Now run along young William. The clock is ticking.” It says. I smile at it and bolt down the stone road towards the town waving as I run as fast as I can. Oswald waves back with those beady eyes staring me down and that smile filling me with unease. I don’t fear this creature. But I just cannot be fully comfortable with it.