Hugo- Day one, the hottest day in July. The kind of hot that makes the neighbors forgo underwear and plant themselves in front of oscillating fans. Feet planted in small kiddie pools filled with tepid tap water, topped off with bagged ice from the corner market. The breeze from the fan casting across the iced pools does nothing to diminish the warmth from their radiating bodies. Instead it pushes the sweat further across their faces and thighs until they are all shiny with sweat. It’s nearly impossible to forget day one. You try, yet day one is the day you’ll scramble for breath. You’ll put on the bravest of faces to give your daughter Thea oxygen as you hold the side of her head to your chest. She will appreciate the firm pressure you apply to her quivering body. The grief inundating from her youthful frame, forcing you back- one, two, three, steps until you both collapse onto the couch. Sweat and tears, they’re all the same. How can a girl live without her mother? How will I breathe without her modeling what a strong exhale looks like?

It will be all she can say. You wonder in your emotional greed, Where does she keep all of the passwords? Thea’s birth certificate? Is she allergic to anything? Raeann- Their day one is polar opposite of your day one. The body that carried you through life for the past four decades decided the narrative of living a nice long life is a lie. To find out that you’re going to die is far less painful than hearing that you are dead. The dead don’t hear pain. The dead don’t feel it either.

It’s terminal, you have weeks at best Raeann. I’m so sorry.

You are sent home with instructions of getting your affairs in order. Pamphlets titled, “How to tell your loved ones that you are dying,” as if there is a simple bullet point plan to button up all of your affairs before you go.

Step 1 , I’m dying. But I left a few lasagnas in the freezer for busy nights.

Hugo- Planning a funeral is foreboding. The weatherman says to expect more heat hazes. You don’t know exactly what that is, but you’ve already spent hours on the internet searching for a cure. What's another few minutes?

Heat haze: also called heat shimmer, refers to the inferior mirage observed when viewing objects through a mass of heated air. Relief floods your body, panic eases up. This isn’t the end, it’s all a mirage. It has to be.

Raeann- Everything after the first day is now called the in between, and that’s just how you’ve come to accept it. Call your mother more, but not so much that she suspects that there is something to be worried about. Mothers know.

Revel in the fact that the word hug happens to be the first three letters of your husband's name, as he is the best hugger you’ve ever met. Hugging him a little bit longer feels like a possible cure for the incurable. Forget the pamphlets, your family deserves a better send off than that. The blogs online say to leave a video diary for your daughter because she might forget the way the dimples tucked into your cheeks are deep enough to hold a cat's eye marble in each of them. Don’t let her forget. The idea of a camera taping your face not looking like your face is unsettling. It is then you decide on cassettes, they’re the happy medium. Even if cassette tapes are “so out of style,” they might be even more treasured due to the rarity of them. Nothing screams a mothers legacy like antiquated methods of communication. Might as well break out the typewriter and ribbon of ink.

Hugo- In-laws, they’re a mixed bag. Naturally they have known your beloved Raeann for the longest. They created her so there is ownership there. Let them visit and call and video chat. It’s all that they will get of her. You’ll be left with the daughter you share, and the smell of her lilac shampoo on the bed linens you agreed to buy at the big box store. The in-laws won’t get to smell her again, but you will, at least a little longer before the next load goes in the wash. Raeann- To make a mixed tape you have to consider two things: Who you’re making the tape for and the occasion. Remind yourself that this isn’t a John Hughes movie, and Thea won’t be walking away with the love of her life but rather losing you. Of course there are times when you hear a little melody on the radio and think to yourself, Thea would love this song . Then, add bits of wisdom and sayings to the playlists, for days when she needs advice but you aren’t there to give it. A mother knows exactly what kind of music will make her daughters eyes sparkle, even if it is followed by a tiny eye roll. It’s some kind of magic to possess this kind of knowing about a teenager even if she is your child. You wonder if anyone else will ever know your daughter this way. Hugo- She told you that there’d be tapes. That you’d have to give them to Thea, maybe one morning as you sip your coffee black and dark roasted the way that you like it.

It’s important Hugo, it’s all I have left to give her. Well, and you of course.

Those dimples, you won’t be able to say no to her and so you agree with a gentle head nod and deep hug.

Through sickness and health was the vow? What about death and grief, what’s the vow look like after that? More haziness. Raeann- Your last day comes twenty-nine days after your first. Cliche, that’s what the last thirty days will be. Like a film reel, memories click and spin for one last viewing in your mind's eye. Not in black and white, but in vibrant colors of finger painted construction paper and alabaster hydrangeas in wedding centerpieces.

Wait until Thea nods off in the corner chair of your room, wrapped in the blanket you both sewed together out of your old shirts. Absorb the tiny bit of warmth from Hugo’s hand wrapped around the frail fingers on yours. These hands spent many hours laced together over the years and now his hands will spend hours pressing play for Thea. It’s time for your strong exhale. Hugo- Pull the old cassette player down from the attic, blow off the decades of dust.

Imagine the look on your daughter’s face when the carefully curated tapes are placed in her young hands with three freckles alongside the edge of her knuckles. The freckles lightly kiss her milky skin, and you breathe out a little in relief knowing that they look ordinary. She won’t want the tapes. Her eyes might brim with orbs of salted water. A sense of begging will slip past her lips, Please daddy I’m not ready yet .

You stare at the dimples she inherited from her mother, pressing your warm thumb into one of them as you hold gently to her chin. Picturing the future, you wonder who will take her wedding dress shopping, and who will take her phone calls if she loses a baby.

It will be you of course. Press play.


Checkmate       Shannen Taylor kicked a stone along the dirt road as he made his way toward the asphalt that would be teeming with heat as the temperature was already in the low nineties. Soon the stone was transformed into Bettle’s head and Shannen stopped to mush it into the dusty sand. It only made him feel better for a moment. Shortly after he arrived, Bettle would likely be at his desk with the perpetual mocking or ridiculous antics that often started his day.       As Shannen reached the street, he quickened his pace. He had been running a bit late this morning and did not want to miss his bus into the city. When the bus came the usual driver, Hal, was again not driving, but Shannen still took his seat just to the rear and right of the driver. Hal and Shannen had formed a kind of friendship over the last couple of years and their talks spanned many topics. Shannen appreciated that Hal was philosophical and enjoyed their discussions. Yesterday, when Hal had failed to be driving the bus for a fourth straight day, Shannen inquired as to his health or circumstances with a simple, “Is everything okay with Hal?” Responding in a gruff manner, the bus driver said, “I don’t talk about other employees and you should mind your own business.” Shannen was taken aback by the answer and had since ridden in silence. Today, he simply took out a couple of wet cloths in little packets and used them to clean the dust off his Oxfords. After making his way to his destination, Shannen quickly went to his desk. As he was getting himself seated, Bettle appeared. He set a coffee cup balanced precariously on the top of where the two cubicles came together. Bettle said, “Well, good morning, S-h-a-n-n-e-n.” He always drew out the name Shannen as if it were its own sentence. Shannen glanced at the cup before meeting Bettle’s eyes. He continued, “Did you do anything special last night? My wife and I went to a party given by Supro. Surprised we didn’t see you there. Oh, I forgot. It was for couples only.” Bettle sneered, used his forefinger to gently tip the cup of coffee, turned and walked away. As it was falling, the top flew off and his entire desk got covered, including him being splashed on his bare arm, where it immediately started to sting. Shannen wanted to rip Bettle’s head off at that moment but knew he would not give any response to the gesture that made sure his day began as miserably as possible. Little did Philip Bettle know, but Shannen had more than a girlfriend, he had a beautiful fiancé named Julia. In fact, he did get an invitation from Supro, a large client of their firm, but never even mentioned it to Julia. He would under no circumstance have brought her to mingle with his co-workers for he knew they would definitely take the opportunity to embarrass him in front of her. Also, they did not need any more fodder for their office roguery. Making his way to the men’s room to fetch some paper towels, he could hear the teeheeing going on in the cubicles. Surely, news of Bettle’s early morning tomfoolery was making the rounds. His arm stung from the burn so he rinsed it under some cold water. It was red but thankfully the liquid had not been hot enough to cause blisters to form. As Shannen returned to his desk, for the first time he showed a half smirk to the co-workers that were watching him while gathered around the water cooler. He knew he would only have to put up with their shenanigans for a short while longer. Shannen made quick work of getting rid of the mess then surveyed his cubicle, the four walls he saw for eight hours a day, five days a week. He was thankful that he soon would not ever have to stare at the temporary office structure again. Their projects were all done individually, though other co-workers had good camaraderie and found time throughout the day to visit with each other.

As a structural design engineer who had reached a near expert level in AutoCAD and Autodesk, Shannen was usually finished his assigned projects early. In his current position, he knew that seeking a more responsible job at PRUDO Engineering was futile. Those that occupied the offices along both sides of their cubicles were not going anywhere soon. After completing his current task, which was not due for two more days, Shannen sat back in his chair and let his mind wander. Beginning in kindergarten, Shannen had also been the proverbial ‘mark’. It started on his first day and continued until he graduated high school. There, he had been bullied by Billy Parker and his little gang of torturers. First came the name calling but it soon escalated to knocking books out of his hands and the occasional slap on the back of his head, which he never saw coming. In those early school years, Shannen would not stick up for himself and instead he initiated building his defense mechanism which would serve him well the older he got. When he was younger, he would cry when Billy and his gang surrounded him while he was taking a shortcut home along the baseball field. When Billy would shove his head into the fence it hurt and Shannen could not stop the tears from coming. When their abuse was over, Shannen would gather up his belongings and sit in the woods for about an hour, which was time enough to calm himself before continuing on his way home. Shannen worked on training himself to show no emotion, so when Billy stuffed him into a locker and dunked his head in the toilet in middle school, the expression on his face never changed but at least the crying had stopped. In high school, he spent most of his time hiding in the library. Though he loved to read, he had to admit that he was just tired of the bullying and wanted to get through to graduation as unscathed as possible. He did the same in university, but had a small bunch of friends he liked to hang out with. Though they did not talk about it, they were the bullied ones too.       After finishing university, which was only a four hour drive away, Shannen moved back in with his parents and got the job with PRUDO Engineering. Thankfully, two of his friends from university had jobs nearby and they did get together for the occasional drink after work. Shannen secretly wished they would run into people from his office, if only to prove he was not the recluse he was accused of being, but it hadn’t happened.       Tragically, his parents were killed in a small plane crash on their way home from a mountain retreat. Shannen was an only child and took a couple of weeks off work to handle their final affairs. When he came back to work, there was a card on his desk signed by everyone in the office but not a word of condolence was said and things simply continued the way they had been. Shannen had briefly considered selling the house and moving to another city but knew his track record as ‘the mark’ would continue so he didn’t bother. Plus, he was able to save a good portion of his earnings with no mortgage to pay or expensive downtown parking rates since he rode the bus. Then he met Julia.       Shannen was sitting in the park reading when a shadow came over him. He looked up to see a beautiful woman standing a few feet away. She inquired if she could sit and he answered, “Of course”. That was the beginning of their relationship.       He was startled out of his walk through his past by his boss who was standing at his cubicle. Jacob Ross had a loud and vibrating voice that exuded dominance but not unkindness. Ross said, “There is an issue with the ERT file. Would you have time to take a look at my notes?” Shannen sat up straight in his chair and replied, “Certainly, Mr. Ross.” He left the file he was carrying and said he would email Shannen before the end of the day.       Having set his emails to audible notifications, Shannen continued to think about Julia and how she had unknowingly given him the strength to work his way around always using his defense mechanism, which he had many years to practice. Shannen was a master at not showing his feelings. No matter whether he was being bullied or introduced to a new client, his face remained stoic. He knew this was not the person he wanted to be but he would never give the satisfaction to anyone who thought they would give him a rough go. Unfortunately, he had perfected it so well that it filtered into any social situation in which he was involved, all that is except for when he was with Julia. He had immediately felt at ease with her and let his delight show whenever they were together.       As their relationship grew, Shannen had introduced Julia to his small group of friends for he knew they would be kind and welcoming. However, he still had to dodge questions about when she would meet his co-workers. He had finally said they did not socialize together and stuck to that excuse.       Shannen knew he had to overcome his societal issues if a long term relationship with Julia had any chance of success. He had to protect the fact that he had been the chosen mark for the entirety of his life. He signed up for two online courses, ‘Building Your Self-Confidence’ and ‘Bullied? You Can Turn it Around’ and worked on them diligently on the nights when he and Julia were not together. Somehow, he had to practice his new found skills so when Julia invited him to dinner with her parents, he willingly agreed.       Surprisingly, Shannen found himself strangely self-assured and the evening was a time of laughter and stories. It seemed Julia’s dad had fun embarrassing his daughter with tales from her childhood and her blushing responses only made him love her more. Since Shannen only had an aunt, uncle and cousin who he barely knew as family, he could not offer much in the story department except a few tales from his own childhood and he helped to keep the conversation flowing. Later when he asked Julia how she thought things had gone, she hugged him and declared, “My parents love you!” After finding success with Julia’s parents, he finally agreed to meet some of her friends, professing that he had been working on not being so shy in terms of socializing. He found that he was accepted into her group of friends and, while he gave credit to the courses he had taken, Shannen had to give Julia the most gratitude for she inspired him to change.       Shannen had also made another huge decision in his life. After determining that his projects could be done at home, he resolved to open his own business and work from a home office. This was a short while before Christmas and Julia, who was a special events planner, was thrilled with the idea. She had moved in with him a couple of months earlier and had been busy updating the house. She suggested the attic would make the perfect location for his office since there was plenty of space and lots of natural light. He agreed and figured all he would need would be the desk from the spare bedroom and a chair to get started.       While he was lost in thought, Shannen’s email notification went off. He quickly brought himself back to the present and got to work on the changes to the project as requested by Mr. Ross.       As he was working, Tricia passed by his cubicle and, being nosy, saw the file open on his desk. She spouted, “What are you doing with my file?” Shannen, knowing he would soon be rid of this bunch and bolstered by his new found self-confidence, blurted back, “It is not your file. It is a project file for PRUDO and I am working on it for Mr. Ross.” Not likely expecting his forthright reply, she continued past his work area in a huff. Shannen smiled. He was proud of himself.       On his way home, Shannen thought about how he proposed to Julia. They were going to her parent’s home to spend Christmas Eve. Before they left, Shannen had suggested they open the stockings they had made for one another. Julia said she would rather wait until they got home. Shannen, thankfully, won out and they each looked in their stockings. When Julia thought she had finished hers, she found one more package shoved into the bottom. It was a small box. She started crying before she even opened it. Shannen laughed and teased, “Why are you making such a fuss? You know it could be a gag gift!” When she unwrapped the box, her hand was shaking so Shannen helped her open it. He still remembered the lights from the Christmas tree shining on her tears and the smile on her face was beautiful as she looked at the diamond he had spent hours picking out for her. He got down on one knee and asked her to marry him to which she threw her arms around him and gushed, “Of course. Yes! Of course I will marry you.”       When they arrived at her parent’s house, Julia had not even taken off her coat before she was showing off her ring and announcing their engagement. Her parents and gathered family and friends were thrilled. Shannen had never felt so fulfilled in his entire life.       That evening, Julia had a surprise waiting for him. She led him up the stairs to the attic to see his new office! Shannen knew she had a few days off, but did not know she had spent that time making the perfect place for him to work. He was, however, curious how she had managed to get the new office furniture up the attic stairs. She giggled and told him her father and uncle had been all too happy to help.       Shannen was in a good mood as he made his way to work the next morning. He knew that a week from today would be his last day at PRUDO but he had kept that information to himself.       When he arrived at his cubicle, he found the likely reprisal for his reply to Tricia the day before. His desk was plastered with sex toys of all shapes and sizes. He was silently happy that his co-workers had spent so much unnecessary money merely to get back at him. As he was gathering the garbage and putting it into a bag, Bettle made his presence known with a smart remark, “Oh, S-h-a-n-n-e-n. I see you are bagging your toys to use at home. Too bad you will have to adapt some of them so you can use them alone. Although your blow-up-girlfriend should come in handy.” Bettle laughed as he walked away. Shannen thought about replying but decided it wasn’t worth it. He would soon be rid of the buffoon.       Thankfully, the next week was uneventful. Since he would no longer be taking the bus every morning, Shannen was pleased that Hal had returned to his regular place in the driver’s seat. It turns out that he was only on holiday, which made Shannen wonder why the substitute driver had felt the need to be so nasty. He had already told Hal about his future plans, and they exchanged cell numbers so they could stay in touch.       On his last day of work, Shannen decided not to brown bag it. He would go out for lunch, primarily to give his co-workers something to converse about that afternoon. He found a cafe close by and savored every bite of his Caesar salad wrap. He was most stoked about the fact that he thought of the perfect way to end his employment with PRUDO. He had planned to simply put his resignation on his boss’s desk, which stated that he was leaving immediately in lieu of two weeks’ notice; he would forfeit two weeks pay. However, this little addition to his plan was perfect.       When his workday was almost finished, Shannen stepped away from his cubicle and left the building. He returned a few minutes later and proceeded to Mr. Ross’s office and left a white envelope on his desk as his boss was out of the office for the day.       Next, he approached Bettle’s work area and held the large coffee he was carrying on the top of the partition. Bettle looked up, obviously surprised to see Shannen standing there.       Shannen stood silent while Bettle voiced, “Well, well, S-h-a-n-n-e-n. This is new. What the hell do you want?” Shannen simply tipped the coffee cup. As it went tumbling toward Bettle’s desk, Shannen smiled broadly and uttered, “Checkmate.” He then proceeded to walk out the door without looking back.


He had finally managed to capture her. He slumped against the stony wall in this forgotten cave catching his breath as her voice carried with the echo. A small wooden ship sinks about a hundred meters from the shore. Half of it is on fire. The sun sets in gold in front of them. When the ball of light hits the horizon, it spreads like oil in water. Below, the depleted men clad in armor slowly start to creep onto the shore. Their steel boots sinking into the wet sand like anchors. “Quiet, Luna…” he whispered. “They’ll hear you.” “That’s the point,” she said through gritted teeth. When she opened her mouth to speak again, he hushed her quickly with his palm. She squirmed beneath him but he could not risk being seen now. It was a matter of life and death.

Well, to put it frankly, it was a matter of her life and his death. "I don't get you," she accused. "Didn't you leave on your own terms? Why return now? For what purpose?" Harsh green eyes turned jade beside the setting sun. He retracted his hand from her mouth.

"Listen, I came to warn you-- " Warn me? " She repeated incredulously. "They're coming for you. The Reapers. Those men down there are not your noblemen. They are not from your kingdom. I did what I had to do to pull you to safety!" The princess's eyebrows knitted in confusion. Though she was calmer, she could still feel the remnants of anger creeping at the back of her neck. She strained to control her composure. She remembered him taking her hostage as the sea rocked them back and forth. He had hijacked her ship and sent the two of them overboard. His eyes softened suddenly.

"How can I trust you?" She whispered, "You left me alone so many years ago. Your quest for power swallowed you whole. You were unrecognizable; a different man than the one I…” "The one you what, Luna?" "... Remembered." She peered up at him inquisitively. And just when she thought the embers in her heart were fully extinguished, a gentle wind suddenly gave life to a new flame. He was indeed the man in the flesh; and also the man in so many of her dreams. The sights and sounds of him caused her to revisit her deepest memories. A familiar chagrin. But in many ways, the years have turned him, or so it seemed. She couldn't help wondering if he'd manage to reach his pinnacle. His reason for leaving never stood clear to her but perhaps, now it would. When Prince Adonis was eleven years old, he had lost his father to an unknown force. His mother died shortly after which meant that the King's brother, a kind man, would hold the throne until Adonis was old enough to take it. But something happened. A grey cloud began to storm him, though, it had been all in his head. He knew he would never truly rest another night until he was able to kill the thing that killed his father. And so he sought power. He fought, he ran, he drew his sword, just for the opportunity to face them. The Reapers. So when the opportunity arose in the dead of night, he took it. A powerful Magician lead him and he followed without being under a spell. It was his own decision. He never said good bye. When Luna awoke that morning after and learned the Prince had left, she felt as if she died that day. The rest of her existence waned and waxed like the moon she was named after. But she'd never know the heartache he'd felt for her. Under starry nights, cold mornings, and lonely battles, he would recall her and all his strength would come back. “How did you know the Reapers would return? From what I’ve heard, they were last seen at the Eastern Port at Marigold three years ago... But... that must mean…” He nodded solemnly, “I had to.” “How could you have done something so stupid?! ” Luna cried, “You shouldn’t have marked yourself. Now they’ll never stop coming for you!” “My princess-- “Don’t!” He grabbed a knife from his belt and made quick work to cut the rope he had just used to bind her. He took her arm and pulled back her kimono sleeve. On the white of her wrist, a blue bruise was present. It was the same colour of her veins; the same shape of the sacred lotus flower that was also engraved on her kingdom's coat of arms. He showed her his.

Surprised shook her from the inside out. A death sentence was what it was. She gingerly ran the pads of her fingers over his wrist to feel it. It slightly glowed. His radial pulse bounced against her fingers as she pressed down.

“When did you…?” “I only have one seal. It was a gift from the Magician at his death. It will cover yours, erasing your existence from their radar. And that means they’ll chase me instead.” “I was ready to die, Adonis. I knew what was coming.  Do not take this from me! What about your goal for power? What about avenging your father and taking back your kingdom? What about-- He closed the gap between his lips and hers. It was nothing like she’d imagined. Salty, bitter, and sweet. The taste of her danced on his tongue.

He had seemed to forget the mission at hand: Get her to safety and take her place when the Reapers came to collect. All too much, all too soon he felt her take over him like nothing he'd ever felt before. From this experience alone he decided he had already fully lived. His life did flash before him. His life through Luna. When she opened her eyes, his stormy gaze told her everything. “Luna, I realized...” Grey eyes darted over to each feature of her face, drinking her in as if he’d die of thirst, “...you were the only goal that ever really truly mattered.”


(Write a post-apocalyptic story that features zombies.) Today the headline read, “Social Media is full of unsubstantiated reports of Zombie sightings! The news has gone viral and soft focus blurry videos have flooded all platforms!” Wowser! Do I need to worry? Today I discovered that I am unique among my modern generation in that I have no idea what a “Zombie” really is. I had a vague thought that any mindless creature might be a zombie but then I went to do some research. Wow, what an eye opener when I googled zombies! I had no idea! They have very defined and specific characteristics. I’m currently examining all of my friends and neighbors to see if any are zombies. “They are slow moving!“ Hmm? Let’s see. Mr. George, our neighbor to the south, is slow moving but he has been our neighbor for years. I don’t think he is a zombie. “Do not eat each other, they live on live flesh.“ Well that eliminates Mrs. Riley, our neighbor to the north, she’s a loud and demonstrative vegetarian, always trying to push her agenda on everyone else. She is for sure not a Zombie. “Don’t swim but can remain underwater for long periods.” I can eliminate myself and four of my friends as we love to swim, often racing one another out to the floating raft, we are definitely not Zombies! But, hmm? My husband says he can swim but I have never seen him in water deeper than his knees except the time our sons tipped over the canoe, we all laughed except my husband and he went into total panic. Hmm? Maybe he is a Zombie! I begin to see that this can be a long drawn out process, to screen everyone I know or who lives nearby. Unless they can be identified on sight or by smell or even taste, I must read on. I need to know more. Ye Gods, Read this….. “A zombie, according to pop culture and folklore, is usually either a reawakened corpse with a ravenous appetite or someone bitten by another zombie infected with a “zombie virus.” Zombies are usually portrayed as strong but robotic beings with rotting flesh. Their only mission is to feed.” Got that bit off a search engine. Another bit about the origins of Zombies is in Haiti. Ancient times. Bad vibes. Evil…….Yikes! Ok that is really helpful.

I sit here on my porch steps, on my busy street and watch the people pass by.

I see no one with rotting flesh. Imagine the smell….it must be a “dead” giveaway! Maybe this whole rumor that there are Zombies about and we need to be vigilant and protect ourselves is just scare tactics to keep the folks in line, the sheep quiet and paying taxes and just shutting up. I have no idea but I plan to talk with some neighborhood kids. They seem to know all about zombies, vampires, aliens and the like. They seem to have no idea about how to express real emotion or have any real empathy but they sure know about violent evil. It would seem to me, if I’m getting the gist of this, we should be able to recognize one on sight. And if there are questions, the rotting flesh smell should cinch the deal.

Then just KILL IT! Hmmm? I wonder how you kill one? After I check out everyone I can see in the library, to be sure there are no apparent zombies, I find dusty books full of lore, and new books full of movie and TV plots and scenarios involving these slow stinky creatures.

I filter the information into brief headings.

HOW TO KILL ZOMBIES, “Decapitation.“ You must destroy their brains. The surest way is simply cutting off the total head with a chainsaw, machete, or samurai sword. You must be thorough, anything less than 100 percent severance just isn't good enough. “Bludgeoning.“ A blunt object, for example, a baseball bat to a brick, used with suitable force to the cranium will destroy the brain. But be careful you must get up close and personal for this to be effective. “Burning.“ Or try burning! The next best thing is a Molotov cocktail--just make sure the zombies are far enough away so they'll be reduced to ashes before they can shamble after you. “Exploding.“ A solid technique, but one that requires explosives in one form or another. Make your way to a military storehouse or a morally dubious pawn shop and acquire a rocket launcher. Then shoot, load, and give it a second hit to make sure. ~~~~~ Ok now, I feel well armed with information and so I collect my weapons to do my civic duty. I am a female type person so I needed to decide on how to arm myself. Chainsaw would be too heavy and bulky, but a machete felt really good.

Next I loaded four bricks into my backpack. I hoped to drop the bricks down from above them or heave the bricks from a safe distance. Not close to the smell. Also in my backpack a sealed water bottle full of petrol, and some strips of old rags shirts. My lighter and matches to be sure I could get ignition. And finally, I was disappointed I could not manage a rocket launcher but I did pack five railroad flares and a cylinder of gas with a weed burner attached. I doubt the latter would work but the flares burn long and very very hot. Can you imagine the smell of burning rotting flesh? ~~~~~ It was a little past midnight and I was deep in sleep when a racket began in the alley behind my home. Knuckling the sleep out of my eyes and grabbing my backpack and machete I charged down the back terrace and into the common area. Fog had rolled in and visibility was poor but I charged in swinging. I was hoping not to need the fire. There was screaming and screeching and otherworldly noises and when I was done, Mrs. Riley’s tabby cat and Mr.George’s big tomcat lay dead in the bushes. OMG, what have I done? It is the fault of social media! Holy Crap! I love animals, I think Zombies are not the only monsters out and about tonight.


Teddy noticed everything. A young boy across the aisle from him had a Harry Potter novel open on his lap. He was on page two hundred and sixty-six. Four mosquito bites peppered his left forearm, and he had recently gotten braces. Teddy could tell because the kid kept fiddling with them with the tip of his tongue, and they were shiny and brand-new. The boy licked his thumb and turned a page. The tall, middle-aged woman to the boy’s left was listening to music on her iPod. She wore pink earphones, and her shoe was untied. There was a paint stain on the right kneecap of her jeans, and she was chewing spearmint bubblegum. Teddy could smell it from across the train car. He leaned forward in the seat of the rattling tram and pulled the hood of his navy blue jacket over his head. He stuck his hands in his pockets and tried to ignore everything he saw. Today his senses had flipped into overdrive, snatching every detail from his surroundings and clutching them tightly. Like Spider-Man, Teddy thought. He smiled slightly. Yes, the sensation might be compared to that of the extrasensory character. His mind took in these details desperately, spontaneously, as if it knew these memories would be some of its last. Teddy knew that he was doing what was best. Inwardly, the idea fought with him, tormented him, ripped him apart like a wet piece of cardboard. But this decision needed nothing short of utmost commitment, and Teddy always finished his commitments.

It would not be for long, anyway. Soon, the pain would go, along with everything else. Including Rosalyn, something inside him whispered. Rosalyn. The voice of steadiness, reliability, and love. People had often said they could be twins, but Teddy disagreed. They were inseparable, but different in complementing ways. She was his best friend in the wide world, and he loved her with a brotherly love as dearly as a bird loves its wings.

At least, I did, thought Teddy. Rosalyn, his old faithful, had faded and left as quickly as a leaf was whisked away in a storm, gliding blissfully into the horizon. And with her, she took his hopes, his dreams, and his reason for living. She took the one thing he had left to love. One of the most important parts of his life, gone forever.

Teddy stared at the book in the boy’s lap across from him. What success must the author of that book feel, what tranquility, what pride. Teddy would have killed for a fraction of that stability in his writing. A fledgling in his trade, Teddy’s writing saw little of anything except rejection letters. He hated those letters, he saw each one as a reminder of his failure.

His most recent book had gone out to a publisher about a month ago. He would be receiving the payments from the first month any day now, and he knew they wouldn’t be much. But it didn’t matter, that check would never reach his pocket anyway. Today, Teddy was doing the one thing that he knew left to do.

He was going to end it all, forever.

There was a hiss of brakes as the train car stopped. A muffled voice sounded over the intercom. “Stop 13. All passengers are encouraged to leave in an orderly fashion. Please keep your feet away from the tracks as you disembark…” The voice continued blathering about departure, but Teddy did not listen, closing his ears to the sounds of life. It would only be a short while now…

The voice came over the intercom again. “This line is experiencing technical difficulties. Our engineers give all passengers their apologies. We would like to offer all passengers paid tickets to their next train stop, to assure you all get where you are going… we hope we cause minimal inconvenience, and wish everyone a good day.”

Teddy slumped in his seat as everyone in the car began to stand, groaning and complaining. His mind had blanked. Was the world conspiring against him? The train could not have picked a worse time to break down…

He stepped off the train, the cogs of his brain grinding painfully. I’ve still got time, he thought. It’s not far, I’ll take the bus, or Uber there, heck, I might even walk… he could not believe the world had failed him at this crucial juncture.

Trodding down the sidewalk away from the train, he stuck his hands in his pockets again and pulled out his phone. 3 texts buzzed there, one from his mom, reminding him to call his aunt tomorrow for her birthday. The other two were from his boss, reprimanding him for not showing up to work and informing him that the time would be subtracted from his sick leave. Teddy trudged over to a cobblestone barrier at the edge of a small park near the road, and leaned his elbows on it, considering. He swiped through his texts and called an Uber. Ten minutes away. Great. Flipping off his hood, Teddy replaced his phone in his pocket and looked out over the bay. Teal Bridge was a shadow on the horizon, blocking out the late morning sun and casting an oblong shadow across the waves. The bridge was his destination, but Teddy wasn’t going there to sightsee. He was going there to end his miserable life. The bridge spanned hundreds of meters across the water, and was at least two hundred feet above the tips of the waves. If he jumped off one of the entrances to the bridge, an army of sharp, hard rocks would meet him at the edges of the water. There would be no time for anyone to stop him. The rocks were cold, unforgiving, and merciless. They would grant him his solace without hesitation, without pause… Teddy’s eyes were drawn to a group of children frolicking on the opposite beachhead. They were only pinpricks on the distant sand, but he found himself unconsciously giving them personalities. The lone blue-bottom figure was surely the oldest child, sent to watch over his younger counterparts. The pink one-piece girl bouncing through the waves was the diva of the group, ever the drama queen. Teddy watched two green-clad figures collide. Twins, surely, inseparable, the troublemakers... Rosalyn had had a future here, on this very bay. Her dream had always been to pursue marine biology, and they had been in the groundworkings of a campaign to save the local marine life. Unfortunately a marine support group had called her away on a business opportunity down in the south, and after a semi-tearful goodbye which was hazy in Teddy’s mind, left for good. Sometimes they texted, but the gaps between the conversations seemed to be wider nowadays. He hadn’t spoken to her in over a week, but to him it seemed months. Teddy buried his face in his hands. He could not afford to think, it could only deter him from his plan. Thinking was what had caused him to back out the last time, when he had lacked the conviction to carry out the deed. And now his whole plan was in shambles again… He felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned, blinking. It was Rosalyn. Rosalyn, her hair caught up in a wool beanie, laughing at the incredulous look on his face. She was saying something, but he could not hear it somehow. Contrary to the sensations of the morning, his senses had dulled and blurred over, clouding his vision as he struggled with reality. The girl before him grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the sidewalk, gesturing. He came back down to earth. “Rosalyn?” She turned towards him again. “Teddy,” she said. “We need to catch up. I’ll take you for ice cream.” “But the company… your internship...” “Oh, those higher-ups thought they knew everything,” she said, blowing a strand of hair out of her eye. “They were keeping me on too tight a leash, I had to get away. So I quit. I’m gonna do my project here instead, on the bay. I’ll tell you about it over lunch, come on!” She pulled on his hand again, and he didn’t find himself resisting. His phone buzzed again. He opened it to find a text from his publisher. The royalties. Great, this would spoil the day. He opened up the app and the number flashed up on the screen. The amount… the amount was tremendous, over three times the amount that his client had projected for him! He blinked and scrolled through the messages. The rates were skyrocketing, his book was blowing up! The first payment from the royalties was more than he had made at his day job in the last month! A car honked on the street. The car described in his Uber app was sitting on the curb. He dashed over to the sidewalk and the driver rolled down the window. “You getting in, sonny?” “No, I’ll have to cancel,” Teddy said, ecstatic. “Something’s come up. I’m sorry.” The driver started to roll the window back up, his face cloudy. He had driven all this way for nothing. Millennials, they were all the same… “Here, take this for your time,” said Teddy, yanking out his wallet and pulling out a wad of cash. The driver blinked. “Take it!” He felt ten feet tall, he was successful, he had a career... “Well thank you, son. You got a date with big-eyes over there?” Teddy looked back over his shoulder at Rosalyn, who was waiting on the curb a few yards away, her eyes sparkling. “No, not a date, we’re just meeting up. Thank you, sir!” He ran back over to his friend, his sneakers slapping on the pavement with his huge strides. “You ready?” said Rosalyn. Teddy looked back across the park, over the water over which he had moments previously contemplated his demise. “Yeah,” he replied. First, he would have lunch with Rosalyn. And then? Maybe go home, work on his next story. He might call her again later. And after that? Yes, there would be something else after that. And then something else, too. It had to be good, everything was turned around now. He didn’t know what the future would bring, but he did know that he could make his own. He grabbed Rosalyn by the arm and started to run, laughing into the crisp morning air. For the first time in what seemed like ages, Teddy had something to do.


Three different people had felt the need to tell me that their honeymoons had had hiccups and that I shouldn’t put too much pressure on the trip, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised when things went wrong. The wind caught my best friend’s beach umbrella in the Caribbean and blew it into her new husband’s face. He and his new black eye chased it into the ocean, where a jellyfish stung him; but the rogue beach umbrella did eventually make it home with them. My other friend and her husband crashed their rental car on their way to return it. Their insurance covered everything; and no one was seriously hurt, but they nearly missed their flight home. My aunt and uncle had their first fight when they were stocking the kitchen in their cottage. They still joke about it 35 years later. Some of my husband’s buddies shared similar tales of woe with him, so he was prepared for some surprises along the way. His brother overlooked a suitcase while loading the car and paid an exorbitant price to ship it to the hotel. His best friend since kindergarten ran out of gas on the side of the highway, causing another friend to spend a personal day off work ferrying jerry cans to him. His co-worker and his new wife misread their plane tickets, packed in a panic, and showed up to the airport eight hours early. They fell asleep waiting for their flight, didn’t hear the announcement of their gate change, and almost missed their plane anyway. Rumour says that they named their first child after the airline employee who woke them up and rushed them to the new gate. With this information, we expected to come home with one or two comical incidents, but we certainly were not worried. Everything had worked out for all our friends and family members, after all. Confident in our ability to solve any problems and sure that whatever happened would be adorable, we set off for adventure with our matching luggage and smug smiles. We really should have seen it coming. My sister is an ecologist. Robby’s brother works in a garden center. Our grandmothers have grown gardens the size of public swimming pools and can talk about microbiomes all day. We went to college. We’re educated people. We KNOW THINGS. We landed on the island and pranced through customs. “Anything to declare?” No, sir. Of course, we’re not smuggling weapons or drugs or small animals that will eat your native insects. The rental agency had our car ready to go. We made it through the local grocery store without fighting over croissants. The cottage was gorgeous. Everything was working perfectly. HOW did we not see it coming? We slept well on a king-sized bed with wonderful satin sheets and a dozen colourful pillows. The weather the next day was perfect. The beach was stunning. The restaurant was sublime. We returned to our lovely cottage. You know when you enter a room and just know that something is wrong? Your parents are arguing, or your siblings are bickering, or a co-worker has misspoken terribly? That was the feeling when we opened the door. Something was off. Everything looked normal, but Robby and I both sensed something strange. We looked through the whole house for signs of intruders or theft, but we found nothing suspicious. The feeling of strangeness only grew, however. We heard it first. Robby and I love reptiles. We met in a pet store buying crickets for our respective snakes. The store had only two containers left but was getting a shipment in the next day. Robby gallantly offered to let me buy one of the containers instead of taking both even though he was there first. We showed up at the same time the next day, started talking, and that was that. Crickets. That was how we met. That was how we bonded. That was how we had to pay an exterminator to clear out our honeymoon cottage. You can order crickets online. They come sealed in a convenient box. You can buy as many as you want to leave behind for the pet sitter. You can also mistake one of these boxes for a newly ordered tacklebox. In this case, you might think your husband had forgotten to pack his new tacklebox. You might pack the box, expecting to be the hero when he thinks his tacklebox is at home, but turning out to be the villain who flooded your cottage with crickets. The owners were shockingly forgiving as we grovelled and promised to pay for any exterminator that they chose. They graciously gave us a discount when they moved us to one of their other properties, where we stayed until the original cottage was safe for human habitation again. Our scheduled activities went well in the meantime. Surfing lessons were a blast. I performed better than Robby, just as his friends had predicted. Ziplining was thrilling. Robby spent 10 minutes talking me into actually stepping off the platform, just as my friends had predicted. The zoo was unreal. We spent two whole days ensuring that we saw every gecko, salamander, and snake, just as our families had predicted. We did get to finish our vacation at our first cottage, but we thoroughly searched each closet and still spent the first night back hearing phantom crickets. When we returned the rental car, the line was much longer than when we picked it up, but there were no problems. The shuttle was crowded, but the other passengers were friendly. The flight was delayed by half an hour, but it went smoothly after we boarded. When we staggered out of the airport to our friends who were picking us up, our luggage still matched, but our cockiness was gone. “How was it?” Aurora gushed. “Did you find all the boxes of crickets for Roxy and Smith?” I asked. “I found eleven, but I couldn’t find the twelfth…oh. Oh, no.” “Oh, yes.”


Frankie looked her dog in the eyes, eyes the same deep sienna brown as her own, and said, “Okay Audrey, today we will find complete happiness in the solitude of nature.” She tied back her long sandy blond hair. Audrey whined and stood up as her harness was fastened under her belly, the tail that curled over her back wagged like mad, wiggling her butt along with it. For a moment she forgot her manners and leapt straight up on legs like springs- like Tigger- until her eyes were level with Frankie’s.

The dog said, ‘ oh boy oh boy oh boy. ’ “Okay, okay…let’s go.” Audrey was the size of a golden retriever, but with glossy black fur with white patches on her nose, chest, and all four paws. She had large, pointed ears like a deer, and it seemed she had too many teeth, an upper canine and a lower one never quite fit inside her mouth. She was an odd-looking dog; in the shelter it had been love at first sight. Frankie’s thighs burned as she followed Audrey up a very steep dirt path. She looked up, breathing heavily, to gauge how much farther it was to the fallen stump at the top. Audrey bounded back to her, stopping to acknowledge a chittering squirrel six feet over them in a pine tree. As she neared the tree, the squirrel said, ‘ be careful, it’s a fast one !’ It scampered higher into the green boughs.

Then a jay screeched to get her attention, it said, ‘ over to the left!’ Both dog and woman stepped left into the ferns just in time! From over the fallen log at the top of the hill, came a kid on a BMX bike. He caught air, his long blond hair flagging wildly behind from under a turned around ball cap, a maniacal grin on his face. He thumped down to the path three feet from Frankie’s feet. He had some sort of GoPro on his head though he wore no helmet. Frankie said, “Hey! Hey, you nearly hit us!” The wild boy didn’t stop, he was soon out of sight. It had been increasingly difficult to find good trails. Closer to the city, there were too many people, many of whom were uptight about off-leash dogs, and most paths were kid and even stroller friendly. Ugh. Some of the most challenging didn’t even allow dogs, but instead catered to the mountain bike crowd. They’d hiked the day before, through an immense nature reserve with miles of decent trails and challenging climbs, only to come upon a city of homeless people in dirty tents and tarps and mountains of trash. When she came across grungy hypodermic needles and human waste in the center of the path, she’d vowed angrily not to return. The display of selfish entitlement these crazy, drug-addled people displayed depressed her. They had turned something beautiful into a cesspool. She wept all the way home. A week ago, they’d thought they’d found a secluded forest with grown-over forgotten trails miles into a redwood forest housing the tallest trees they’d ever seen. Then they’d smelled smoke. Frankie had been alarmed at first, fearing the worst, until she came upon a large man, hairy as Sasquatch, with crazy oozing out his pores. He’d been living in a hut made of pallets and branches. He’d come towards her drooling and making strange ‘mmm-ing’ noises until Audrey scared him away. Whether real or imagined, the smell of his cook-fire smoke brought back flashes of long ago when she’d been just five:

She’d thought she’d been a happy child. She’d loved her parents though she couldn’t recall their faces, and an older brother who she had adored because even though he’d been ten years older, he’d played with her and taken her to the park and on long hikes through the woods by their home.

He said he could talk to the animals and birds, and she had laughed. She had no memories of her parents taking her anywhere fun, she supposed she blocked them out for being too painful. She remembered a church, a big gothic thing, terrifying and NOT fun.

One day, deep in the woods, her and Brian had come across an injured squirrel. She’d watched in fascination as her brother picked it up gently and talked to it soothingly… and listened to it. In her head, she had thought she heard a high-pitched whisper, ‘ Bobcat. Family gone…it hurts, please help me.’ After Brian had placed the squirrel in his backpack and told Frankie they had to hurry back now, she’d timidly said, “B-Brian. I heard it too.” Brian hugged her and said, “The desperate have a louder voice. I knew you’d be able to hear them too…” “So, you believe me?” “I’ve been waiting for this. Now please, do not tell anyone. Okay?” “Why not?” “They will punish you.” Brian had been blamed for the fire. Who else could it have been? He’d been fifteen, and you know how disobedient and conniving teenagers are. Probably been smoking cigarettes out his window, flicking the embers into the dry grass. Both her parents had perished, and it was assumed Brian was dead too, though his body was never recovered. Half the house had slid into the river when the retaining wall gave way, his bedroom had been in the basement, his body most likely swept away by the eddying waters. Frankie had nightmares to this day, of leaping from the attic window, smoke billowing hot against her back, into the net of the firefighters. Frankie and Audrey stood at the top of the hill and admired the green panoramic scene. The sky above was still overcast, just the way she liked it. It was four o’clock. She was disturbed by BMX Kid. His behavior was unnervingly reckless, but even more so, she was again dismayed to have discovered yet another awesome hiking path only to find inconsiderate humans used it too. She sighed unhappily. ‘I know. But I still like this one. Maybe he’ll be the only one today.’ She rubbed Audrey’s silky soft head. “Oh Audrey, ever the optimist.” ‘There’s a fox down there.’ Frankie looked down as a leafy branch quivered over a patch of orange fur. They made their way down the hill, the fox peeked it’s pretty, pointy-nosed face out from the dense shrub and said, ‘Beware, another one comes this way. Eek! ’ It slunk out of sight like molten lava.  “What? What other one?” Audrey said, ‘Always so cryptic, them foxes, just like catssss. ’ She looked as if she’d bitten into a lemon. Frankie laughed. Then heard a branch snap…close behind them. Audrey’s fur was tufted along her hackles, her ears pointed forward, and a low growl purred from her throat like a Harley’s motor idling. The shrubs along the left of the path, twenty feet ahead, shivered. A tubby little creature popped out, rolled to a stop, and sprung to its feet. At first, Frankie thought it was a tubby racoon, grey furred and barrel-shaped. Then she thought it was a small fat child wrapped in a fur coat. ‘What is it?’ “Don’t know.” The thing had the face of a child, with a mop of shoulder length hair the same shade as its coat. Its ears were pink like its face, but longer, elfin-like. From the bottom of its tubby body were two skinny legs with five-toed black feet. It carried a spear, its wickedly pointy head glinted silver, reflecting the overcast sky. It also wore the same sort of GoPro BMX Kid had been wearing. It was a curved silver rectangle on a pole that appeared to be embedded in the thing’s head; it rotated slowly left to right, left to right. Frankie thought of the satellite dish her neighbors had had on their roof, she had been jealous that they had television. The thing thumped the dirt with the butt of its spear and shrieked like a banshee. “SCREEEE!” Every hair on Frankie’s body stood up, much like Audrey’s. “Hey now, Cutie, we’ll just be going…C’mon Aud, let’s go back.” Audrey placed herself in front of Frankie, growl still idling. Frankie started backing away. “SCRRREEEEEEEEE!” ‘Thud!’ It jumped high into the air! It landed behind Frankie and smiled, revealing a too-wide mouth full of pointy little teeth. Frankie ran. “Come on!” Audrey held her ground a few seconds longer, giving Frankie time to get away, then she ran too. Raccoon Boy did not follow. The rutted path they followed narrowed, Frankie stumbled twice, Audrey stopped every fifty feet or so to look behind them. She said, ‘ keep going. I’m right behind you. ’ As a gloomy twilight approached, they stopped in a small clearing and looked behind them. A branch snapped in the growing gloom in the woods, shadows melded together.

As they watched, a tall, thin, dark figure emerged from between two trees. It had four long thin legs, each ending in a point like a spider’s delicate foot, and a humanoid body, stretched. Its head was triangular, with large round eyes, it looked like a praying mantis but had two thin long arms ending in human hands. The satellite thingy on its head glinted in the ink-blue atmosphere, as it rotated left to right. They leapt through a dense hedge of hemlock and came upon a cabin in a clearing hidden there. It looked deserted. “Audrey?” ‘Raccoon Boy’s scent lingers here.’ “This can’t possibly be its home.” A snap.

A rustle. Audrey tried the door. Unlocked. They dove inside, saw that there were three locks and a thick metal bar that fit into brackets across it. They looked out the window by the door.  Mantis Man sat across the clearing with both sets of legs crossed. Its enormous dark eyes blinked at them. Frankie said, “Look. It’s BMX Kid.” He was sitting to the left, across the clearing, his bike on its side next to him. Audrey said, ‘Racoon Boy .’ The thing’s coat gleamed silver in the black night, it was a three-foot pom- pom with a head. Frankie tried the light switches by the door. Amazingly, they worked. Though the inside lighting was soft as candlelight, she switched it off. She left the porchlight on, to light up the clearing. Mantis Man turned out to be green. They sat by the window all night. As she stared, she tried to communicate with the creatures. She didn’t understand why Mantis and Raccoon did not answer her enquiries. All of nature’s fabulous minds were eager to communicate with her. She even tried BMX Kid though she was loathe to do so, human minds often left her sickened, she’d turned off that ability in herself long ago, like flicking a toggle switch - off.  But even from him, nothing. Just a deadness, cold as outer space. At last, dawn came with the flourish she loved. It meant hike time, nature time. Peace and quiet and communion with the forest dwellers.

This morning, however, only brought more terror. The three were out there, watching. Raccoon Boy grinned his toothy grin. BMX Kid gave her the Hawaiian ‘hang loose’ hand sign.  A squirrel hopped onto the flowerbox on the windowsill, between the bright red geraniums blooming there, inches from Frankie’s face on the inside. Frankie screamed. ‘Just a squirrel.’ “I know…sorry.” The squirrel tapped on the window and pointed at the inside latch. ‘It wants you to open the---’ “Window, got it.” She hesitated. ‘It’s just a squirrel. No evil bones in their bodies…’ “Oh, fuck it.” She unlatched the window lock and lifted the pane four inches. The wee squirrel ducked inside. Frankie slammed the window down, wincing. The three sentinels sat placidly watching. She said, “What’s going on? You know this place?” The squirrel said, ‘You’re safe here.’ Dog and woman sighed with relief. Like all woodland creatures, squirrels never lied. (Though Raccoons tended to exaggerate, and foxes tended to be sneaky.) The squirrel said, ‘Come .’ She raced across the cabin to the kitchen nook. Frankie had little time to look around, but what she saw she liked. The cabin was clean and furnished with hand-crafted rustic furniture. A small tv sat on a low bookshelf filled with old classics. They followed the squirrel. The kitchen was an immaculate 1950’s reproduction in red and white, with modern amenities fitting in. The squirrel led them through a pantry door, they followed. At the far end, was a solid wooden wall. At the bottom was a small strip of wood that stuck out a half an inch. The squirrel pointed to it, excitedly hopping up and down. ‘ There there!’ Frankie bent and pushed against it.

The floor of the pantry started sinking. Frankie was about to panic but saw the squirrel was smiling and clapping her hands with joy. As the pantry went down half a story, the squirrel climbed swiftly out the opening and said, ‘ See-ya later!’ Frankie realized with amusement that faint music was being piped in through invisible speakers. It was her favorite band, one her brother used to listen to: Pink Floyd, the song was Shine on You Crazy Diamond. “I feel like Alice in Wonderland.” Audrey said , ‘I wonder where the Mad Hatter is?’ “Ha ha.” She jumped as the elevator stopped. The wall slid open. They stepped into a hallway lined with caramel-colored tiles softly lit by brass wall sconces. The wall at the other end slid open as she approached it.

Frankie gaped in wonder, jaw hanging open like a funhouse clown's, as she took in the immense space. It was the most beautiful library ever. Three of the twenty-foot walls were lined with shelves of books, a wheeled ladder reached the top. There was a propane fireplace with fake logs, a vast mahogany coffee table with carved cat’s feet legs, a settee, and three deep armchairs upholstered in deep-jewel-colored hues. Six end tables shaped like bears held tiffany lamps. The rugs were thick red wool.

As she walked past the bookshelves, she noticed that all the countless figurines on the shelves and tables were robots or monsters of some kind. Some she recognized from tv shows and movies…Godzilla, R2-D2, Wolverine, the Iron Giant, the Alien…Mantis Man- the sentinel outside. The third wall where the fireplace sat, also housed a door. It opened and a man in a white lab coat walked in. He was tall, with a high forehead, his long, tied-back hair the same dirty blond as hers though his was greying at the temples. He had leather gloves on his long-fingered hands. He removed his reading glasses and blinked at her with eyes the same dark shade as hers, then he smiled and said, “Franchetta, hello, and welcome.” She backed away, her mouth snapped shut like a trap. Audrey whined. “Don’t be afraid. I’m Brian . Your Brian.” Frankie’s veins filled with ice-water, her legs turned to oatmeal, she caught the edge of the coffee table before she hit the ground and plopped onto a cushy ottoman. “No.

Dead.  The fire.” Audrey hopped up next to her. Brian went to a bar tucked in the corner opposite the fireplace and poured them each four fingers of an amber elixir. He came towards her, and she shied away, eyes round as ping pong balls.

He halted a second, then sat opposite her, pushing the crystal glass on a coaster towards her. “Remy Martin.” He sipped his and put it down. “You killed them. An accident, but…” Her hands shook in her lap. “It was not I…uh…do you still go by Frankie?” She nodded. Audrey said, ‘He’s the Mad Hatter !’ Brian laughed then said to the dog, “More like Mad Scientist.” Frankie said, “It really is you.” She swallowed half the cognac. “You don’t remember our parents at all do you?” “I was happy…?” “No. Neither of us was happy. Mother found out about us. You kept your promise, but Father caught you talking to that deer that used to come around.” “Bella.” “Yes. Mother blamed our Father, said his seed was cursed, that we were Satan’s spawn…” “That awful black church…” “She dragged us there. That dark priest was as insane as she was. He told her the only way to save our souls was with fire.” Frankie gasped. “I tried to save you.” He removed his gloves, his hands were made of metal. “I saw you jump. When the house collapsed, I was thrown into the river, unconscious. I woke entangled in a fall of branches, a beaver’s dam, far from home. The beaver showed me where humans lived, and I was taken in at a hospital. Then sent to a specialist in prosthetics. It was there I studied with a wonderfully brilliant doctor, a scientist. You would have loved him, he taught me much and helped build this place…” He pulled out a smart phone and tapped it a few seconds. “Texting?” “Ha! Not quite…” The elevator door opened, and the three sentinels came in. Audrey yipped.

As one, they raised a hand and waved ‘hello.’ Mantis Man said, “Gru-gruuuu wimi-si…aaaahhh.” Brian said, “He says he’s sorry he scared you…and welcome. I’m working on fixing his voice, his name’s Maury by the way…” “These creatures, the sentinels…you made them. That’s why I couldn’t talk with them, they aren’t alive.” Raccoon Boy said, “SCRA! Ganorf!” Brian said, “Spooky! Be real.” To his sister he said, “he’s in denial. I’m fixing his voice as well.” Audrey said, ‘It was Sameel, the crow. That found us. Sameel was the spy.’ Brian said, “smart pup…yes, Sameel found you for me and grew increasingly concerned for Frankie. So, I built the cabin for you…and my sister.” Audrey said to Frankie , ‘Can we stay? Please oh please?’ The goofy dog leapt up and down, tail and butt wagging… Frankie went to her brother and hugged him. “Thank you. You’ve saved my life.”


Hello, my name is GUY. I am the manliest man men have ever seen. I am oozing with masculinity. I have to constantly remind people how manly I am because I want to boost my masculine points. I measure my masculine points based on how many pounds I can lift. How many women I can date and how many beers I can gulp down in one sitting. I also measure my masculine points by how hairy I am, the depths of my voice, how much I can manspread, how loud I can speak, and by the size of my…. I am so manly that I am too man enough for everything. I’m too manly for the earth. My masculinity is so pungent that all the other men around me make high pitched girly screams and run away. I am too manly for the color blue, black, red, orange, yellow, and every color on the RGB scale. I’m too manly for gradients. I am too manly for horror films, action films, cartoons, experimental french cinema, and every film genre that exists. When I drive a car, it has to be manly but I don’t own a car right now because every car in the market can’t handle the amount of man I have. The car will end up at the repair shop at least once a day. I am too manly to live in a house. Every house in the market doesn’t live up to my manly expectations. Right now, I live with my mother. I’m so manly that I drink hot water straight from the pot. I’m so manly that I eat coffee raw. No water. No milk. No anything. Just pure man. I’m so manly I eat only plywood and nails. I’m so manly, I benchpress my mother’s car every morning. I’m so manly, that I piss acid every day. I’m so manly, that my deep voice can cause earthquakes so I have to purposely talk in a high pitch voice. Humanity can’t handle my real voice. I’m so manly, that my beard hair feels like a wire brush. I’m so manly, that I can impregnate every living being: plants, animals, insects, furniture, and even men. I can technically make take over the entire planet and create my own animal species because of this. The only thing that matches the amount of man I have is my pet teacup chihuahua named Lily. If you ask me, I think chihuahuas are perfect dogs for manly men. My masculinity can be sensed from ten miles away instead of one mile when I’m walking Lily. Some men ask me how can they get as manly as me. I laugh at them. You don’t. You don’t become manly, you are born with it. When I was an infant, I could already lift a suitcase. If you have to ask, then you will never be as manly as me. As a matter of fact, I am the only man on earth that has this amount of masculine manliness. Hell, look at my name. My name is GUY, not Guy. The all caps emphasize my manliness and I prefer if others write my name the same way. Thank you.


"Please, don't do it!" Sarah jumped from her chair, almost knocking down the table and chessboard. "Ha! I beat you!" Jake stood up and rearranged the chess pieces back to the starting position. "That’s because I was going easy on you!" "Fine! Then we play one more round, no going easy." Jake sat back down. "Nope, I have to do my essay. It's due today, and you know Mom would kill me if I turned it in late." Sarah opened the door and stepped out. "That does sound like our mom. But one more won’t hurt, right?" Jake begged. "No is no! I swear, sometimes I wonder why you aren’t dead due to pissing me off too much. Goodbye!" Sarah closed the door. "Ugh!" Jake lay down. Ding! "What was that? Oh, it's my phone." He picked up his phone and saw an email from the news site Tech Time. Dear @jakesmith, Thank you for purchasing the E-razor! To thank you for your support, we sent you a coupon that you can use for a free sticker on our news site. We hope we can continue working together. Thank you again. Sincerely,

The TTTT “I don’t remember buying the E-razor.” Jake rushed downstairs to check the mailbox. He opened the front door and saw a package on the porch. “I guess that’s it,” Jake said, ripping the box. Inside there was a gun-like shape that was black with blue stripes. He picked up the E-razor and put it on the kitchen counter. “SARAH! COME OVER HERE!” Jake screamed. Sarah slammed the door open. “What do you want, Jake?! I’m writing my essay!” “Did you buy an E-razor?” “An eraser? No, why would I?” Sarah walked down the stairs to the kitchen. “Not an eraser, an E- razor !” “E-razor?” Sarah looked at the item in question. “It seems more like a laser gun, and no, I didn’t buy it. Check the envelope on top.” She picked up the envelope and took out a white note card and a coupon. Sarah started reading the note. “So?” Jake snatched the notecard from Sarah. “Hey! I was still reading that!” “Too bad, you read way too slow. Let me read it out loud, okay? Ahem, ‘Dear Jake Smith, we have gifted you an E-razor for being a committed supporter of our news site and tech team. We won’t give you much detail since we want you to figure it out yourself. But remember, if you screw up too badly, there’s a way to reverse it. -The TTTT’

“Happy now?” “What’s the TTTT?” “It’s short for the Tech Time Tech Team.” Jake put the note on the marble counter next to the E-razor. “Okay, well, shouldn’t we test it out?” Sarah picked up the E-razor. “Here?” Jake motioned to the kitchen. “I know the name says razor , but I get the vibe that it’s not a razor. Mostly because it’s shaped like a gun.” I honestly don’t care. This house is trash anyways.” “Outside, because I like this house.” Jake opened the front door. “Then let’s go!” “Don’t you have an essay to write?” Jake rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but this,” Sarah gestured to the E-razor, “is more important.” “Right. So, where should we test this baby out?” Jake pointed the gun at Sarah. “Pew, pew, pew!” “How about…the park? It’s just a few blocks away.” “I guess it would work.” Jake opened the door again, gesturing for Sarah to go out first. “Come on! I have to get back before dinner to write my essay!” Sarah ran off. “Wait up!” Jake yelled, trying to catch up to Sarah. Sarah slowed down to a walk. “So, any guesses as to what this E-razor might be?” “Why would I know?” Jake said, “I’m just as confused as you are!” “Okay, stop. I’m just going to test it out right here.” Sarah pointed the E-razor at a nearby tree. “Really? Why?” “I’m getting impatient, and I still need to write my essay. Ready?” “What can possibly go wrong?” Jake asked as he stepped back. Sarah lined up her aim and shot the tree. The tree instantly disappeared. “Whoa! What happened?” Jake took the E-razor and studied its appearance. The gun had TTTT etched in green on one side and E-razor etched in blue on the other. “I’m not sure, Jake. Maybe the E-razor erased the tree from the earth. Let’s test this thing on…” Sarah looked around and saw two people walking on the sidewalk across from them. “Those people, over there.” She pointed at the strangers. “No! They’re living people! We can’t test a weird gun-laser thing on them!” “Whatever. We don’t even know them, it won’t impact our lives in any way, and we’ll even help the world by having less population! It’s a win-win!” Sarah lined up her aim. “Don’t!” Jake leaped for the gun, but Sarah side-stepped, still aiming at the people. “Stop! Sarah!” “It’s fine!” Sarah rechecked her aim and shot. The people disappeared like the tree. “Cool! What do you think?” “I think it’s horrible. It’s so horrible I can’t describe how horrible it is!” Jake had a disgusted look on his face. “You’re right! It’s too small. We need to go big! If that was what happened, imagine the power we would have! We can control the world with this, Jake! I’ve got a plan, so listen up. When we go to school tomorrow, we’ll start giving out ridiculous orders, and if the people we ask to do stuff for us don’t do it, we erase them. Then students and teachers will start obeying us, and soon, we’ll get on the news and everyone will be terrified of us. Then we can rule the world!” Sarah squealed. “Isn’t that awesome! Jake? Jake?!”  Jake’s face was stunned with horror. How can his sister think of such an evil plan and plan on doing it? “You’re joking, right?” “Of course not! Think of the power we can have!” Sarah handed Jake the E-razor. “Come on, Jake. How about I make you a deal. I won’t shoot anyone you know. Strangers are strangers, they don’t care about you, you don’t care about them.” “Doesn’t mean you can just kill them with no regrets or guilt!” “You don’t even know them! It’s not like you’re killing Mom or Dad! And you know I can carry on by myself. I’m letting you in because you’re my brother. I can easily erase you, too. But I won’t, since we’re family. And family helps each other. So?” Jake took the E-razor. “No, I’m throwing this away. I don’t want you turning into some evil maniac.” “JAKE! This helps you, too, you know? Just follow my lead and everything will go perfectly .” “What if there’s obstacles in the way? Will they stop you?” Jake tried to poke holes in his sister’s plan. “Nothing will stop me, nothing . Unless I die, I won’t stop. I will be invincible!” Jake sighed, and tears started welling up in his eyes. “Y-you said it y-yours-self. Give m-me the g-gun.” “Why are you crying, and what do you want the gun for?” “Um… I-I want to t-take your plan into…c-consideration, before I commit.” Jake sniffed “Okay, fair enough. Glad to see you’re turning around.” Sarah handed the E-razor to Jake. “D-don’t mo-ove, Sarah or I might a-accidentally shoot y-you.” Jake’s voice wobbled, and tears started flowing down his face. “What’s wrong with you?” Sarah put her hands on her hips. “I-I’m going to h-hit that t-tree over there. A-and the n-note said i-it’s reversable, okay?” Jake was sobbing now. “Okay? So?” Sarah tapped her foot, “Any second now!” “T-three, two, one!” Jake spun around and pointed the E-razor at Sarah, tears streaming down like waterfalls. “I’m sorry, Sarah!” “JAKE! Think of what we can accomplish! I’m your sister! “Y-you said y-you c-couldn-n’t b-be s-stopped unl-less y-you d-died, a-and the n-note said it w-was r-reversable.” “Please! Don’t do it!” Sarah blocked her face with her hands. “I’m sorry! I’ll fix this!” Jake closed his red eyes as he pressed the trigger.