Carrying a bouquet of roses, Goldman met him on the train platform and found herself "seized by terror and pity"[82] as she beheld his gaunt, pale form. Neither was able to speak; they returned to her home in silence. For weeks, he struggled to readjust to life on the outside; an abortive speaking tour ended in failure, and in Cleveland he purchased a revolver with the intent of killing himself.[83][84] He returned to New York, however, and learned that Goldman had been arrested with a group of activists meeting to reflect on Czolgosz.