No, more than impulse or fancy, the girl knows what she's doing, the girl means something, the girl means to mean, because it occurs to her in that instant, that beautiful or not, bright yes or no, she's not who she is, she's not the person she is, and the reason, she suddenly knows, is that there's been so much premeditation where she is, so much plotting and planning, there's hardly a person where she is, or if there is, it's not her, or not wholly her, it's a self inhabited, lived in by her, and seemingly even as she thinks it she knows what's been missing: grace, not premeditation but grace, a kind of being in the world spontaneously, with grace.