♪ All the porters debate ♪ ♪ "" Why they're going to Newcastle and they daren't be late ♪ ♪ For they're launching a boat on the Tyne at high tide ♪ ♪ And they've come from all over, from far and from wide "" ♪ ♪ There's the old Dalai Lama ♪ ♪ And the pontiff of Rome ♪ ♪ Every palace in Europe, and there's nay bugger home ♪ ♪ There's the Duchess of Cornwall and the loyal Prince of Wales ♪ ♪ Looking crushed and uncomfortable in his top hat and tails ♪ ♪ Well, they haven't got tickets ♪