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Participate regularly in multiple online communities. Balance the time and energy you spend communicating with the person. Share a little about yourself at a time. Give the other person your full attention when they’re talking.

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Making friends is sometimes a numbers game, much like dating. That means that the more potential avenues you have for meeting people, the better your chances are of actually meeting someone you like spending time with! Comment and post regularly in the groups that you’ve joined. This will increase your chances of having a positive interaction with someone. People are also much more likely to notice you if you participate in multiple groups. The amount of time and energy you spend communicating with the person should be equal to the amount of time and energy they invest. If you’re always the one sending the first message, asking all the questions, doing all the talking, or even writing longer responses than them most of the time, the investment is not equal. Overloading the person with information on yourself can be overwhelming to them and it might scare them off. It’s important to share and allow yourself to be vulnerable to build a friendship, but do this a little at a time. Start with the basics about yourself and save your deepest secrets and other more personal information about yourself for another time after you’ve gotten to know each other better. For example, you might start by sharing about where you grew up, what kind of music you like, and what your hobbies are. Then, once you know each other better, you might talk with them about things like career choices, relationship issues, and other personal problems. Being a good listener is an essential component of friendship. When you’re friend is talking, make sure to look them in eyes and show interest in what they’re saying. Put away your phone or any other potential distractions when you’re talking with your friend. Some other good listening strategies to adopt include:  Nodding to show that you understand what they’re saying. Using leading phrases to show that you’re listening, such as “Mmmhmm, “I see,” and “Go on.” Asking questions if something they say is unclear, such as, “What did you mean when you said that you couldn’t play last night?”