Article: Be willing to offer a listening ear to the person. The victim may feel frightened, scared, confused, sad, or hopeless. Let the person discuss feelings, thoughts, ideas, and plans. It’s not your job to take over, problem-solve, or do everything, just listen. If the individual asks for help, offer it, but don’t make it your job to solve all the problems. Focus on showing your support by listening without interrupting. For more information, check out How to Be a Good Listener. Show your support in all ways and don’t say anything that blames the victim. Saying things like, “If only you would have left the relationship sooner” or, “Well, you did leave the window unlocked” are not helpful. Nobody asks to be stalked and it is a terrifying experience. Avoid any criticisms or judgments and focus on helping the person.  Avoid saying more subtle things that express blame as well, such as, "If only you had left sooner," or, "I wish you hadn't given your number out like that." Someone who says these things might mean well, but the phrasing implies that the person could have prevented being a victim, which isn't true. Every stalking case is different. If you helped someone else with a stalker, don’t expect things to be the same with this friend. Be sensitive to differences and don’t make choices for the victim. Let this person make their own choices. You may wish to present options, but do not make the decisions for them.  Especially if life feels out of control, it can be important for the person to have control over certain aspects of responding, as stalking can feel very out of control. While the victim may be nervous or afraid to tell friends and families about the stalking, it’s important that people know. The stalker may try to inadvertently get information from unsuspecting friends or family. For this reason, it’s important to alert those around the victim as to the situation. Help the victim come up with a list of people to talk to about the stalking. You may wish to help tell friends and family members and alert them what to do in case the stalker comes around. You may want to provide a photo of the stalker.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Listen. Avoid victim blaming. Allow the person to make their own choices. Help tell others.