Article: You may notice that the other person always has to decide when you do something together and what you do. If they are a commitment phobe, this may be because they want to see you when they want to see you and don’t want to commit to taking time out of their schedule otherwise. If you make plans, they may cancel, be late, or not show at all. The more time you spend with someone, the more serious the relationship starts to become. If you are with a commitment phobe, when things start to get more serious, they may distance themselves or break it off completely.  Commitment phobes love the excitement of starting to date and then the passion at the beginning of a relationship. After that is over, they lose interest. Commitment phobes only show interest when things are exciting, romantic, or fun. If you try to come to them with problems, they are not interested or understanding. People who are commitment phobic tend to have many short relationships. Casually ask about their relationships. If they divert the topic away, or they have only had short casual flings, the person may be a commitment phobe.  Some people have limited dating experience. This does not mean they are a commitment phobe. There are many factors that lead to someone not dating often. Some commitment phobes have been in long relationships. These usually end with no visible signs of commitment. If you are involved with a commitment phobe, you may have no clue what your relationship actually is. You don’t know if you’re dating, if you’re a couple, or something more. You probably haven’t talked about your relationship or the future. If you bring up what your relationship is, they change the subject, get defensive, or wonder why you want to label what you have. Commitment phobic people have trouble labeling the relationship or their feelings. They may feel uncomfortable with those words because they are too confining or they point to a commitment. If you say the words, they may be uncomfortable or try to explain away why they won’t say the same thing.  For example, these people won’t use terms like girlfriend or boyfriend. They also won’t say that they love you. Try calling the other person your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or say, "I love you." See how they react. However, only do this if you really feel this way about the person. Don’t say “I love you” or put a label on your relationship as a test. People who are commitment phobic may respond in a more sexual way than an emotional way. They are interested in passion and equate intimacy with sex, but not the connection and emotions that can accompany sex. Think about if they only want to be around if you’re going to be sexual. If you want to go out, do something with friends, or mention you’re not interested in having sex on this date, they may not be interested.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Determine if they set up all the plans. Recognize changes as the relationship gets more serious. Evaluate their past relationships. Decide if you know where your relationship stands. Say certain words. Decide if your relationship is mostly sexual.