Article: If you just got in a fight with your boyfriend, then you’re probably desperate to patch things up immediately. However, if he seems genuinely mad at you, then you may need to back off for a while. Though you don’t want to wait forever to try to get back in his good graces, you should give him at least a few days until he seems to soften toward you and is more eager to talk. Even though you’re in a rush, if you try to talk to him too soon, it may just lead to another fight or to more misunderstandings.  If he completely ignores you and gives you the cold shoulder when you approach him, then he’s not ready yet. Don’t force it. Once he’s open to at least making eye contact and talking to you, then he may be willing to talk. Once enough time has passed and your boyfriend seems to have softened towards you and is more willing to talk, then you should find a quiet place where you can be alone to have a meaningful conversation. Make sure you pick a good time when he isn’t stressed about something else and looks willing to talk. Having the right timing can help everything go by more smoothly.  Let him know that you want to have a talk with him instead of catching him off guard and surprising him with the conversation. Even if he’s not looking forward to it, he’d rather have a heads up than to be surprised. Wherever you are, make sure it’s not easy for you to be interrupted by your friends. If you feel like you really messed up, then you need to be open about it. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry that you’re mad because I…” and put the blame on him for overreacting. Instead, look him in the eyes, speak slowly, put away all distractions and say, “I’m truly sorry for what I did.” You can go into it and explain exactly how you feel and why you really messed up, and how much it hurts you to know that you hurt him. It depends on what you feel and what you’re willing to feel. Of course, if he’s the one who wronged you, you should avoid apologizing just to make things blow over, and should really think about whether you want him in your life instead. If you’ve said your part and he was willing to listen, then you should listen carefully when he tells you how he’s feeling. You can look into his eyes, stop fidgeting, and really hear what he has to say. You may be surprised by exactly how he’s feeling. Avoid interrupting him to argue with him while he’s talking, or acting like you don’t agree with a word he’s saying. Let him know that you care enough to listen first.   Even if you feel like he’s misrepresenting what happened, it’s good to hear his side of the story. Once he tells you his part, you can both talk about what happened more and work to reach an agreement and to make up. If you really do listen, then you may even see that your boyfriend has more to his side of the story than you thought. You may even realize that you hurt him in a way that you didn’t intend at all. If you’ve made up with your boyfriend, congrats! You can now move on with your lives — as long as you work not to repeat your mistakes. Give him a hug or a kiss, and just get physically close with him to seal the deal. Just make sure that he’s genuinely over it and that you’re not making him uncomfortable. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t use affection — kisses or more — to try to win him over when he’s angry, because that won’t be a good long-term solution. Once you’re on your way to making up, some physical affection is important for continuing your bond. Even just a pat on the hand, a squeeze on the shoulder, or a kiss on the cheek can go a long way in helping you reconnect. Once you’re on your way back to being loving and affectionate, then you and your boyfriend can begin to grow more intimate again. Don’t be afraid to let him know how much he means to you, how upset you were when he was angry, and how happy you are that he’s back in your life. Be honest about how much he means to you and even think about elaborating to show him how much you love his sense of humor, his intelligence, or other aspects of his personality.  Don’t suck up to him or tell him you’re crazy in love with him if you’re not. Be honest about how you really feel about him. Let him know how sad your life has been since your fight, and how hard it is to get through the daily grind without him. Don’t think that romance is meant for the boys! Girls can be romantic just as well as boys can, and you can find a romantic gesture that makes your boyfriend swoon. Make him a mixed CD, get him tickets to see his favorite band, write him a letter about how much he means to you, or take him out on a surprise date. These gestures can help your boyfriend see how much you hate fighting and how much he means to you.  Of course, it’s not about how much money you spend on him, and money won’t ever fix your romantic problems, but about the thought and effort that counts. Another thing you can do to get your boyfriend back in your good graces is to do something new and exciting that he’s always wanted to do. Maybe he’s always wanted to try rock climbing; go to a gym and check it out if that sounds like something you’d like. Maybe he wants to go to a baseball game with you; go with him and don’t complain about it if you’re not that into sports. Maybe there’s just a new restaurant he’s been talking about — surprise him with a reservation.  The most important thing is that you’re able to come up with the idea on your own. This will show that you pay attention to what he cares about. Again, just make sure he’s really ready to reconcile before you plan an elaborate surprise activity, or your plans may fall flat. After you and your boyfriend have made up, you should be a little bit extra cautious around him. Try not to bring up sensitive subjects, especially not the subject that started the fight, and try to keep things peaceful, light, and fun. You shouldn’t completely act like a different person who only wants to appease him, but you should be mindful when you speak and try to avoid starting a fight again as much as you can.  If you’re eager to move your relationship forward, give it a bit of time before you mention saying “I love you” for the first time, moving in together, taking a trip together, or doing anything else to take the next step. It’s important to reconcile with your boyfriend, but even trying to make it up to someone has its limits. If you keep trying to talk to him again and again, showering him with love letters, or just calling him all the time to check in or asking if he loves you, then you’re going to bring more insecurity to your relationship, and you’ll make it harder for you both to heal after your argument. Instead, take it slow and trust that your relationship will strengthen over time. If he’s forgiven you but still needs some space, give it time and he’ll come to you when he’s ready.

What is a summary?
Give him time and space. Find the right time and place to talk when he’s ready. Apologize — and mean it. Listen to him if he wants to talk. Give him some affection. Tell him how much you care about him. Make a romantic gesture. Do something he’s always wanted to do. Tread lightly for a while. Don’t try too hard.