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Give yourself time to change. Learn to be assertive and express yourself honestly and respectfully. Realize that conflicts are okay. Choose success. Take pride in your success.

Article:
Changing a behavior you have cultivated overtime takes a lot of time and repetition. Remember that change is a process that is not always linear. Don't be afraid to go back to the beginning and re-assess your behavior. At the same time, don't be hard on yourself if you find yourself unsuccessful on your first attempt. The more you practice and work through your passive aggressive tendencies, the more likely you are to successfully change your behavior. If you find yourself getting off track in your attempts to change passive-aggressive behavior, take a moment to pause and reflect on what is happening.  Ask yourself:  Can you identify the reasons why you are taking steps backward? Do you need to pause and take a different approach at changing that specific behavior? Is there an underlying feeling or emotional response you have not recognized or worked through yet? Once you understand what is bothering you, then you can start to speak up for yourself and say what you mean. Practice what you would say to find the right words without being in the heat of the moment. Hear how you're coming across. You can be forceful and direct without having to hurt the other person. Take the blame out of your words and communicate your feelings in a positive manner. Opening yourself up in this way may make you feel more vulnerable in the beginning but you'll gain confidence as you progress.  For example, you may be annoyed if someone at work because he always takes the last cup of coffee without starting a new pot for others.  Instead of being angry but keeping quiet until it builds into an incident, speak your mind.  Say, "I see that you're getting the last cup of coffee.  Would you mind starting a fresh pot if you get the last cup so that the rest of us can drink coffee on our break as well? Thank you!" At home, you can be clear with your expectations for your significant other.  If your partner is supposed to do the dishes after dinner and doesn't, try saying "I know that you are tired after working all day, but we agreed that if I cooked dinner, you would do the dishes.  If you would prefer to cook and have me do the dishes, we can do that instead, but I think we should share the responsibility for daily household chores." Disagreements are not uncommon. Some of the confrontations you encounter may not be conflicts but rather misunderstandings. You usually are not in any danger if you can defuse your anger and make your discussions constructive and positive. It's possible to agreeably disagree and be able to work out compromises that bring "win-win" results to both parties involved. In this way, you are taking control instead of allowing passive aggressive behavior to send issues out of control.  At work, you may disagree with someone about the way a project should be approached.  You may want to sit and develop a plan, while a co-worker may want to jump right in and start coming up with visions for the end result without considering first how to get there.  Instead of getting angry or annoyed, talk to the person about your differences in process.  You may not be able to agree on the best approach to the project, but perhaps you can divide the labor in a way that draws on both of your strengths; your planning and his vision. At home, you might talk to your partner and find that you have assigned him/her a chore that he/she really hates doing.  Perhaps you can work out a deal where he takes on other chores that he/she finds less disagreeable and you can do his/her chore.  For example, he/she may agree to vacuum, cook, and take out the trash in exchange for not having to do the dishes. Avoid chasing a negative outcome; change your focus to achieve a successful end. Some people like to admit failure early so they don't raise expectations, including their own. If you use passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace because you feel unappreciated, try taking pride in your own work.  Make changes to find your work more fulfilling if possible. Even if you make slow but positive progress, you're still changing your behavior in the direction you want. Giving up your typical passive aggressive responses removes the safeguard behaviors you've put in place. So it's okay to feel a little unsure. Being able to communicate clearly what you are feeling will only help make you more effective and your relationships stronger.