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Your life is exactly that: your life. You should be living your life and doing things so that you are happy, not to please anyone else. There is a saying that you can’t please everybody and it is absolutely true, so don’t expect or try to make everyone happy all the time. The best you can do is make yourself happy and try to live according to what you believe is right and good. Most importantly, you will develop the greatest sense of self-worth when you stop trying to please the “popular” crowd and start trying to please yourself. If pleasing yourself means that you want to have a lot of friends, then do things that make other people want to be friends with you by accomplishing great things and being a wonderful person. Don’t try to make friends by wearing the right clothes or getting into trouble. People that spend time with you for these reasons aren’t really your friends and will only end up hurting you in the long run. Be you, don’t be someone else. Instead of going with the crowd and wearing all the popular brands, develop a unique sense of style. This will make you stand out and give you confidence by giving you something to identify with. Be sure that this style is one that means something to you and that you feel communicates something about who you are as a person. Style inspirations include: 1920-40s “dapper” look, 1980s punk, Japanese street fashion, or early 1990s grunge. Any style or image which speaks to you is great! Figure out who you are and what makes you happy by exploring things you care about or find interesting. Do you think parkour looks cool? Do it! Have you always wanted to learn how to dance? Do it! The only thing barring you from pursuing things that you’re passionate about is you. Many high schools have clubs which will give you the chance to try out new sports, games, arts and other activities. Local community colleges or universities will also have clubs which teens may be able to participate in if they ask very nicely and pay a small fee. The best way to deal with the harder aspects of life is to have great friends. Great friends remind you how fun and wonderful you really are. To keep your self-esteem high, find friends who understand and like you for who you really are.  Good friends should like a lot of the same things as you and have some of the same goals in life. This will make sure that you connect on a deeper level and will help you motivate each other throughout your friendship. It’s okay if your friends don’t like all of the same things that you do, however. Some differences are good and will allow you to open up your mind to new possibilities.  Don’t be friends with people who drag you down. Anyone who makes your life worse isn’t really your friend. If they make you feel bad about yourself or they want you to do bad things, then you shouldn’t be friends with them. Friends should bring out the best in us, not the worst! Don’t just let people push you around. Don’t just give in to the desires of everyone around you. It’s good to try to make people happy and it’s good not to be self-centered, but you need to focus on you and being your own person. Being assertive, standing up for what’s right for you, will do a lot for your self-confidence and self-esteem. If you are having a conversation with your friends or classmates, give your opinion. Ask for things that you need. Say “no” when you need or want to say “no”. And most importantly: don’t feel guilty when you do these things!

Summary:
Don’t live to please others. Develop a sense of style. Explore your passions. Find people who understand you. Be assertive.