Article: You need time to reflect, improve your self-esteem and confidence, and give yourself greater insight into why you want your ex back. You don't want to jump back into a relationship too soon, or you will most likely repeat the same mistakes.  How long do you need? It likely depends on how long you relationship was in the first place, and what caused the break-up. If you just had a big argument, give it at least 48 hours and as much as a couple weeks before you get in touch. Try to cool down so you can have a calm and rational conversation. Try your best to avoid Facebook and other social media in the meantime. There's nothing you'll gain from constantly stalking your ex to find out what they're doing, or writing depressing updates. You only stand to make yourself look worse and feel worse. Just stay off for a while. The better you understand why you broke up with your partner in the first place, the easier it will be for you to get back together. What did you do wrong in your relationship? What was your role in the break-up? Did your partner give reasons, or did you just get dumped out of nowhere? Try to understand what went wrong.  If you got dumped, Try to thinking about what your partner found upsetting. What did your partner complain about? What drove your partner crazy? Try to remember. If you were the one who did the breaking up, Try to focus on how you can change to accept the things about your partner that drove you to end the relationship in the first place. Will it be possible to move past these things? Once you've given some thought to your role in the break-up, try to think about what problems the relationship might have that aren't in your control. Sometimes, you can love someone, but circumstances will make it challenging for a relationship to work. It's important to reflect on these types of problems as well, if they're a problem for your relationship:  Work problems Location or distance problems Emotional or physical problems Financial problems Sexual problems Do what you need to do to find some inner confidence. If you appear confident, you will give your ex the impression that you are certain that you know what you want out of your relationships and your life. Your confidence will express that you are sure in your ability to change and be a better partner. You don't want to get back in touch if you're feeling and looking pitiful and run-down by your breakup. You shouldn't try to convince someone to get back with you because you're depressed, you should want to convince them to get back with you because you're a desirable partner. Why should your partner want to get back together with you, if you had problems the first time around? If you can make little changes in your life to show that you're actively making yourself a different person, it will be much more likely that your partner will be interested in getting back together with you. If you've identified things that you know you can change about yourself to be a better partner, do them now. If you wanted to work on getting healthy, or partying less, toss out your pack of cigarettes and get a gym membership. When you see your partner next, you should have already done these things, not promised to do them "sometime." If, after reflecting on your problems and your own role in your old relationship, you feel that you'll both benefit from getting back together, then it's time to reach out and get in touch with your partner to Try to talk it out. Call or text and make arrangements to meet in person, if possible.  If you're not sure if a call will be accepted, send a short letter, e-mail, or note saying, "I've been thinking about you. Would really like to talk. Would it be ok if I called?" If you feel like you're the same person who got dumped, your relationship might need to end. Don't attempt to get back into a relationship with somebody just because you're sad that it ended. If it doesn't stand a chance of getting better, let it end with some dignity. If your partner doesn't want to talk, your relationship is over. That's it. You might consider waiting a couple of months and reaching back out, but it's very unlikely that this will get you anywhere. Take the hint and move on.

What is a summary?
Give it some time. Do some self-reflection. Identify what you feel were the major problems in the relationship. Work on yourself in the meantime. Make some concrete changes now. Reach out when you feel like you've changed.