" It can help to understand your reasons for not wanting to have sex. The better you understand yourself and your desires, the better you can express yourself to others.  Some people  practice abstinence. This means refraining from sexual activity altogether, either until marriage or for a set period of time. If you're practicing abstinence, consider your reasons for doing so. What are the benefits of abstaining from sex? Why is this important to you? Occasionally reviewing the reasons you became abstinent to begin with can help you feel more confident in your decision.  Some people simply like to wait a bit to have sex. While the sex on the third date rule is common in pop culture, this might not be a sentiment you share. Maybe you like to get to know someone emotionally before engaging in sex. Maybe you simply aren't comfortable with intimacy early on. Explore your reasons for wanting to put off sex until later in the relationship. This can help you feel more secure explaining your motivations to others.  There are obviously many reasons, based on your own personal history and comfort zone, that you might not want to have sex. Whatever your reason, it's valid. There is no reason to have sex if you do not want to. You should never feel that you are supposed to have sex or are expected to have sex. Some people identify as asexual. Asexual is a sexual orientation, similar to being straight or gay.  Asexual people are simply uninterested in sex. Sexual activity is not pleasurable to people who are asexual. Asexual people may crave romantic love, but usually have a very low or completely absent sex drive.  If you think you might be asexual, you can learn more about asexuality online. LGTB websites, like GLAAD's website, have sections discussing asexuality. Asexuality.org is a website dedicated to exploring and explaining asexuality. Occasionally, people dislike engaging in sex because it does not feel good for them. If you're inexperienced, you may simply not know what does and does not work for you. Exploring your own sexuality can help.  Masturbation can help you get more comfortable with your body. You can masturbate with just your hands or use tools like dildos or vibrators. See what does and does not feel good. This can help you understand how you like to be touched and what might work for you with a partner. Many people explore their sexuality through watching pornography or reading erotica. This can help you get a sense of what turns you on. You can find porn and erotica online and can also purchase them from sex shops and even some bookstores. Join a club. If you're a college student, there are many sex positive and sex friendly clubs on campus. There, you can discuss sex, your body, sexuality, and more. Through talking and learning with others, you may figure out more about your own sexual desires. If sex is not as enjoyable for you as you want, try experimenting with your partner. Try different positions, different types of foreplay, role playing, and more. Many couples find watching porn together increases sexual desire and gives them ideas for new things to try in bed. Talk to your partner about wanting to experiment a little in the bedroom. If you find yourself frequently not in the mood, many medications can affect sex drive. Read the side effects of any prescription or over-the-counter meds you're on. If low sex drive is a side effect, talk to your doctor about finding an alternative medication or lowering the dosage.

Summary:
Consider why you're saying "No. Learn about asexuality. Explore your own sexuality. Experiment with your partner. Check your medication.