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Try to determine the disrespectful person’s intent. Ask for clarification if necessary. Be empathetic with the other person if you can. Assess your own reaction to what they said or did.

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Disrespectful behavior is always aggravating, but it’s not always intentional. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and don’t automatically conclude that they are intentionally out to hurt you. Ask yourself if the rude behavior is part of a consistent pattern or a one-off event, and think about whether or not it seems to be directed at you personally.  For example, if someone calls you names or purposefully pushes you out of their way, it’s pretty clear they are being intentionally disrespectful. On the other hand, if someone sends out a group email about an upcoming study group and doesn’t include you, it’s possible that they simply forgot to add your email to the list. Likewise, if someone makes an uncouth comment in front of you, it could be that they simply don’t realize they’re touching on a sensitive subject. It’s easy to misunderstand other people’s words or actions. If you’re not sure whether someone is intentionally being disrespectful, sometimes it can be helpful to ask. Keep your tone calm and use words that are neutral and non-confrontational. For example, if someone says something you think might have been disrespectful, you could say, “What did you mean when you said that?” Even if their behavior was pretty clearly disrespectful, do your best not to take it personally. Consider what the disrespectful person might be going through or what the underlying reasons for their behavior might be.  For example, some people may become snappish with others when they’re stressed or feeling ill. If they’re tired or distracted, they may simply forget social niceties like holding open doors or saying “Hi!” when they enter a room. Being empathetic doesn’t mean that you have to excuse the disrespectful behavior, but it can help you understand where the other person is coming from and react more appropriately. Sometimes your reaction to someone else’s behavior says more about your own emotional state than about anything they did. Take a moment to consider why you are upset by their words or actions, and ask yourself whether your reaction is justified.  For example, you might say to yourself, “I’m upset with Susan because she hasn’t called me back yet, but that’s probably because my ex was always blowing me off and ignoring my calls. She might just be busy; I’ll give her a little more time.”