You and your partner can be physically intimate without having sexual intercourse. If you're comfortable making out but you're not comfortable having sexual intercourse, then don’t have sexual intercourse. You don’t owe it to your partner. Don’t let anyone else define your boundaries for you. Only do what you’re comfortable with. Hold hands, hug, or sit close to each other in bed. Enjoy touching and being close to one another without it having to go any further than that. Kiss each other, taking time to explore different ways of kissing. Do an online search for “how to kiss” and try out the different methods. Don’t take yourselves too seriously. Laugh when the kisses feel awkward! You’re building intimacy by experimenting with what works and doesn't work. Using a scented oil or lotion, take turns massaging each other’s bodies. How much of each other’s bodies you massage depends on your boundaries: you can just massage one another’s necks and backs if you aren’t ready to go further than that. Setting rules will not only help you stick to your boundaries; it will also make things extra sexy. An example of a rule you might set is that neither of you can remove even one item of clothing. Another possible rule is no hands allowed below the waist. Touch and kiss the areas of your partner’s body that don’t usually get attention during sex — for example, his/her legs, stomach, or back. Take time to enjoy exploring your partner’s body; build a physical intimacy with your partner that doesn’t depend on sexual intercourse. You can do this to varying degrees. For example, you might agree not to touch each other, and then sit across from each other and slowly undress. To take it up a notch, you could sit across from each other and touch yourselves, with the rule that you are not allowed to touch each other. This is a fun way for you and your partner to explore one another’s bodies without touching each other. Doing this allows you to slow down and appreciate every detail of your partner's body. Take photos of each other looking sexy in bed. You can make this as silly or as sexy as you want. Do an online search of “80s glamor shots” for inspiration.  A funny boudoir photoshoot would be to wear a fancy dress or suit and a feather boa, then make silly faces while posing on top of the bed. If you have cats, you can incorporate them into the photo for added hilariousness. Make a date to have a sexy phone call or text messaging session while you’re both in bed. This could range from flirting to sending sexy photos of each other, to having a full phone sex session.  If you do send sexy photos to one another, exercise caution: anything you send to your partner could end up in someone else’s hands. If you’re worried about someone else seeing you in a vulnerable position, either don’t take the photo, or keep your face out of it.

Summary:
Give up on all-or-nothing thinking. Touch each other in non-sexual ways. Work on great kissing. Give each other full-body massages. Make out, but with rules. Explore each other’s bodies. Explore your own bodies together. Draw each other naked. Do a sexy boudoir photoshoot. Have fun  over the phone.