Those who are abuse victims often continue the cycle by abusing others. Their behavior likely has little to do with you and is mostly caused by their past. They may not know any other way than what they are doing. Suggest that the person abusing you seek professional help. You likely know how helpful talking to someone can be, as you may do it yourself because of your depression. Therapy may help this person heal from their past and stop the abuse. People who feel overlooked or weak in certain areas of their lives may feel the need to seek power and control in others. The feelings that are created during the abuse may give this person the ego boost they need in order to handle feeling unrecognized in other aspects of their life. For example, if the abuser is talked down to by their friends, never gets a promotion at work, or is treated poorly by their family, they may look to you as their source of power. Abusing and having control over you may be compensation for not receiving the treatment they feel they deserve. You likely understand how having poor mental health can take complete control over your life, as a person with mental illness yourself. Someone who has a mental illness may not realize that what they are doing is inappropriate or may not be able to handle their emotions. By no means does this mean what they are doing is right, but it may not be something they can help. Those with anger management issues are often unable to control their explosive emotions and can take it out on others in the form of abuse. Additionally, people who have drug or alcohol problems may resort to abuse because they aren’t capable of handling how they feel. Abusers are often insecure. They may feel jealous of the person they abuse and exhibit the horrible behavior to make that person feel just as bad as they do. They may also do it because they feel it’s the only way to keep the person near them.  For instance, in domestic relationships, the abuser may feel so badly about themselves they fear their partner is going to leave them. They exhibit mental and emotional abuse as a way to control the partner and ultimately stop them from seeing other people and potentially leaving them. Try having friends and family who witness the abuse mention to the abuser that what they are doing is not okay. This will help to make them more aware of how they are behaving.

Summary:
Find out if abuser was a victim of abuse. Determine if they crave power. Take note of any mental illness the abuser might have. Examine the abuser’s self-esteem.