Article: Maybe you have recently discovered that your husband looks at porn. Or perhaps this has been an ongoing issue in your relationship. Either way, its time to have an honest conversation about your feelings.  Prepare to have an open conversation about the problem. Your first step is to figure out your feelings. Ask yourself why you object to his watching porn. Is it a religious issue for you? Or is it against your moral code? Choose some words that describe how you are feeling. Be descriptive with words such as "frustrated", "worried" or "nervous". Make a list of the things you want to say. This will help you to stay on track during the conversation and make sure that you make your points clear. Talking to your husband about his porn habit is an important conversation. You want to make sure that you allow yourselves time to deal with this tough topic. Take care to choose an appropriate time to have this talk.  Try to avoid having this conversation late at night or early in the morning. You two will not be at your emotional best if you are tired. Give him a heads up. Try saying, "I have something important to talk to you about. When is a good time for you?" Don't rush the conversation. Choose a time when you know neither or you will be rushing out the door to work or being interrupted by the kids. You might have a serious aversion to porn. Those are your feelings, and that is okay. However, try not to base your talk with your husband purely on judgement.  Try to use "I" statements. For example, you can say, "I feel very uncomfortable when you watch porn in our home." These types of statements are more effective than "you" statements. Your husband will likely be defensive if you say something such as "When you watch porn, you make me mad." Avoid eraser words. For example, try not to say, "I love you, but your porn habit is disgusting." Eraser words like "but" negate everything that was said before "but". It is important that you let your husband know how you are feeling. However, don't forget that effective conversations allow both of the participants to talk. Make some effort to understand your husband's point of view.  Ask open-ended questions. For example, you could say, "Why is it important to you to watch porn?" Make it a point to ask for further information. Try saying, "So porn makes you feel excited. Is there another way you could achieve that same feeling?" Ask for new information. Consider saying, "How do you see us resolving this issue?" Asking questions is an important part of having a constructive conversation. It is equally critical that you actually listen to the answers. Make it clear to your husband that you are listening carefully to his point of view.  Use non-verbal cues. You can indicate that you are listening by maintaining eye contact and making gestures such as nodding your head in understanding. Try paraphrasing. You can say something like, "I hear you saying that this is a long-time habit. Is that right?" Show respect. Allow your husband to finish his thoughts and sentences without interrupting.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Write down your main points. Choose the right time. Be non-judgmental. Ask questions. Listen carefully.