Article: Sometimes we can spend so much time worrying about others and how they are feeling that we lose sight of ourselves. Take responsibility for your own feelings and reactions towards pessimism. By focusing on your own happiness and less on others, you take the power away from negativity.  Remind yourself that you are in control. You are in control of how much you let another person’s feelings and thoughts affect you.  For example, even though pessimism is hard to listen to, understand that the other person’s pessimism is a reflection of themselves and you can only control your own feelings. You have the power to dictate what affects how you are feeling. Using logic as a coping resource is associated with higher mental toughness.  Stay positive. Research suggests that optimism may increase mental toughness. This means that your own optimistic outlook can help you combat pessimism and the spill-over from negativity.  Look for some good in everything and remind yourself that anyone can find flaws in anything when looked at closely enough; what's a lot harder is coming up with solutions and positive actions. Instead of seeking to persuade the pessimist verbally with upbeat commentary, simply get on with your positive life and let your behavior and actions do all the talking. If you find yourself feeling down around the pessimist, make a mental list (or even write it down if you wish) of five good things in your life. Think of the items on this list in your head as a sort of "shield" against negativity if you find yourself reacting to it. Actively cultivate positive friendships with other optimistic people. Spending more time around optimists will help raise your mood and reassure you that your state of mind is the right one for you. The individual’s outlook on things isn't her only feature - there are many more complex qualities within a person, so rather than fixating on the negatives, look for the good things. Is she intelligent? Supportive of you? Is she unique enough not to care what anyone else thinks about her? Is she good to work with? Focus on the positive aspects of a person and seek to balance out the negatives.  Just as you might make a list of the five positive things in your life, try to make a list of at least three positive things about your pessimist and run these through your mind when dealing with this person gets tough. You can also draw on this list to remind the pessimist of what she is good at, in case it seems she has forgotten. Find compassion for the pessimist in your life by remembering that her pessimism might be rooted in unhappiness or low-self esteem. When you hear negativity, remind yourself that she may be going through something very difficult that is contributing to her pessimism. Understand that you do not have control over other people’s thoughts or behaviors. Expect the pessimist to have responsibility for her pessimism. She may see the negatives, therefore let her own her interpretation of events and life in general. Accept that this person has a choice to think the way she does. Tell the pessimist to make the choice that she feels most comfortable with. Avoid giving advice or pushing the person to see or do things your way. Resist the innate desire to attempt to cheer the pessimist up. What you want to avoid is positively reinforcing her negative thoughts by providing a reward for pessimistic thinking (attention, positivity, etc). Don't seek to persuade the pessimist that everything will work out fine. Remember that you cannot control how she will interpret the situation. Don't be too quick to dismiss people due to their pessimism. Learning to get along with people who are not like us is an important part of self-development and socialization. Being pessimistic isn't always bad. Some philosophers and researchers have argued it may actually make people happier and closer to reality because they will be more prepared and less disappointed if they consider that the worst outcome might occur. Thus, when bad things do happen, they may be better at dealing with them.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Focus on yourself. Change your thinking. Focus on the person’s good qualities. Give up control. Avoid trying to be a hero. Practice acceptance.