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Ask a dominatrix to mentor you. Practice verbal communication. Have a plan for your time as a dominatrix. Purchase and learn to use accessories. Turn your items into accessories. Train to use the accessories. Decide on a safe word with your partner. Be attentive to your partner’s needs.

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This isn’t necessary if you are acting out with your partner, although you may want to pick up tips from videos or books. If you truly want to become a dominatrix, having someone show you the ropes can be very helpful. Your mentor can teach you how to protect yourself, negotiate, and even teach you some behaviors. A lot of being dominatrix is about what you do, but what you say and how you say it can be just as important. Practice giving demands and speaking confidently. This may feel funny at first, but you will get use to it over time. Watch videos of other dominatrixes if you want to get an idea of how they speak. There's a big role-playing component with being a dominatrix. Come up with a routine so that you don’t get stuck in your role. Plan your routine and practice it so that it feels natural when it comes to time to perform your act.  You can watch videos of dominatrixes to get ideas. Ask your partner if they have specific desires. Incorporate these desires into your routine. Accessories are a large part of BDSM. A whip, blindfold, paddle, rope, and handcuffs are some commonly used dominatrix accessories. You can order these online or purchase them from a sex shop. Make sure that you and your partner are comfortable with the use of accessories. Some other accessories you can use are leash and collar and chastity belt. If you can’t buy accessories, you can turn some of your items into BDSM accessories. For example, you can use a belt, silk tie, or sleeping mask. Just be sure that it’s okay with your partner if the items belong to them. It requires some learning to use accessories correctly. For example, it takes practice with a whip to give the desired level of pain on the skin of your client without leaving wounds. Practice with your accessories and learn about them before fully using them. Don't use too much power. Getting carried away could lead to injury. Typically, the submissive will have a code that tells the dominatrix when they need to stop or hold back. Ask your partner or client to come up with a safe word to let you know when to stop. For example, the word could be “purple.” Over time, you can develop a language with them that allows the “act” to go smoothly. Boss your partner around and stay in control, but be responsive to what they ask for. Along with being responsive, know when to stop if your partner or client looks in pain or is unconscious. Some minor pain may be desired, but the partner should not be truly hurt.