Article: It can be difficult to forgive others when you are still struggling to come to terms with things that you did, said, or that happened to you. Release yourself of any guilt, shame, or pain that you associate with past relationships so that you can build new relationships of trust, love, and respect. Lovers often do small things that bother one another. If you want to love your partner, let those things go. Holding a grudge or keeping count of any time your partner hurts you will only diminish your relationship. This will also make you a more negative person.  For example, if your partner makes a joke about your shoes, it is okay to mention that it bothered you, but it does not give you a free pass to say something bothersome to them. If you have been deeply hurt, you will need to allow yourself to feel and express that pain before you can move past it. Meditate on your feelings around the situation, or talk through it with a close friend. Once you come to terms with your feelings, you can start doing things to let them out. Some common ways that people deal with pain are:   Exercise regularly. Find a creative outlet. Spend time with friends and family. Seek counseling. Whether the person apologizes or not, forgiving them is necessary for you to move on. Have a talk with them or write a letter to declare that you have forgiven the pain that you were caused. If you had any fault in the situation, this is a good time to apologize as well. If you do not know how to find the person or feel that it is inappropriate to contact them, you can write a letter, but do not send it.

What is a summary?
Forgive yourself first. Avoid scorekeeping. Express true pain. Let the pain go.