Article: Take note of when you can't get your mind off of the person. You might want to check their social media profiles, or get the urge to call or text them. Call yourself out, and tell yourself that you have the power to redirect your thoughts.  Tell yourself, “These are obsessive thoughts,” or “I’m acting obsessively.” Say, “These thoughts don’t control me; I control them.” Sometimes, obsessive thoughts and actions can go unnoticed, or they might even feel good. Trying to pretend they don’t exist won’t do you any good. Instead, recognize them, acknowledge that you have better things to do, and remind yourself that you can manage them. Obsession, like addiction, can sometimes be a symptom of a larger need or problem in your life. Consider if there is something missing in your life that you thought this person could provide. See if there is another way you can find what you need.  Write down what this person makes you feel when you are with them. Think about how you feel when they are gone. Consider what might be causing these feelings in your life. For example, you might discover that you are afraid of being lonely. If this is the case, consider joining a class or club to meet new people. Notice when and where you start to think or act obsessively. It might be difficult, especially at first, but do your best to resist obsessive urges when you face a trigger. If you can’t remove yourself from the trigger, focus on controlling your response to it.  For instance, if you constantly check the person’s social media profiles or get the urge to text them, getting rid of your phone or computer isn’t practical. Instead, you could use features that remove their posts from your newsfeed or unfollow them. If you’re obsessing over your ex, give them their stuff back and try to keep things that remind you of them out of sight and out of mind.  If you can’t avoid being around the person, try to keep your distance. If they sit next to you at school, try to avoid eye contact and imagine they’re someone else. Try to focus on your task at hand, like taking class notes. When you feel yourself getting fixated, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Listen carefully to the sounds around you and think about all of the other sensations you’re experiencing at that moment.  Ask yourself, “What’s the temperature right now? Am I hot, cold, or comfortable? What sounds and smells am I sensing right now? What is the weather like right now? What does the sky look like?” Obsession often involves thoughts like, “What if I did this?” or “What are they doing right now?” These thoughts focus on other locations or dwell on the past or future. Concentrating on your surroundings can help you keep your thoughts in the here and now. Try imaging your mind as a floor, and your obsessive thoughts are dirt and dust covering the floor. Whenever you start to dwell, visualize yourself sweeping away all the dust and dirt with a broom.  You could also imagine that the intrusive thoughts are a barking dog. Visualize yourself walking by a barking dog behind a fence. Say to yourself, “It’s just noise, and the dog can’t hurt me. In a few minutes, I’ll cross to the next block and the dog will be far behind me.” Try shaking off obsessive thoughts. When you experience them, shake your head, arms, legs, and body. Imagine that you’re shaking out the thoughts and resetting your mind. When you think about the person or get the urge to contact them, imagine a big stop sign. You could also wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it whenever you think or act obsessively. Rituals, such as visualizing a stop sign or snapping a rubber band, are good ways to remind yourself that you need to redirect your thoughts. Do your ritual, then tell yourself, “Stop! I need to stop this thought pattern and do something to distract myself.”
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Identify your obsessive thoughts and behaviors. Determine if there are any underlying factors causing your obsession. Try to avoid things that trigger your obsession. Focus on the details of your present surroundings. Visualize intrusive thoughts leaving your mind. Develop a ritual that reminds you to stop obsessing.