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Hold regular family meetings. Work together to create rules for the whole family. Create roles for each parent. Spend quality time with the whole family. Create new traditions together. Try to incorporate your biological child’s traditions.

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Listen to each member of the family and make sure each child’s voice is heard. Holding regularly family meetings creates an open environment to discuss progress and problems and to work through issues as a team.  Make sure the opinion and feelings of every child are heard so that no one feels overlooked or invisible, which can easily happen in a blended family. Encourage open and free communication and work to create a calming and supportive environment where children feel free to discuss their feelings. As a family, create a list of family rules and display them in a prominent place.  Discussing the rules as a new family helps everyone’s voice be heard and gives each child a buy-in to follow the rules. Children from different backgrounds and upbringings may have different ideas of rules, so do your best to mediate the situation and find a compromise without playing favorites. Create a safe environment for your new family and have roles for each stepparent. Be aware that your biological child may react differently to guidance and discipline from their new stepparent.  At the beginning, it may be helpful to maintain control as the main disciplinarian to your own child instead of risking your child alienating their stepparent. It can be helpful for the stepparent to fill the role of friend or counselor, at least at first, in order to build a strong relationship with your child. Use your already established routines to bond with everyone. Examples of fun bonding activities include:  Spending Friday movie night together. Cooking weekend breakfasts. Having family dinner together. Monthly hiking or biking trips. Going on your annual summer vacations together. Creating opportunities for all members of the blended family to participate in an activity together will help each child feel welcomed and accepted.  Many new blended families go on a vacation together to celebrate their new life. This can be beneficial to some families, but the key is to establish routines and rituals in everyday life, not just in vacation mode. Find a tradition or activity that works for your family, such as weekly game or sports nights, eating a special food each week, or a monthly trip to the zoo, and follow through. Getting the input of each child when deciding the activity can also help with a smooth transition. Regular family activities give children something to look forward to and help them feel that they are part of something bigger. It also creates a fun environment for the family to connect on a more casual level. When it comes to holidays and existing traditions you may have with your biological child, don’t throw them away or disregard them now that you have a new family.  Children crave consistency and having a tradition from their old life can be a comforting reminder of how things were while also strengthening your bond with your child. If you and your child have always baked sugar cookies together around Christmas, make sure to keep that tradition alive even after you join a step-family.