Article: Everyone has different ways of communicating, but some styles make it more difficult to say what you mean, mean what you say, and avoid being mean.  Passive people tend to avoid speaking up and avoid confrontation. They give in easily to and have difficulty saying “no,” for fear of being mean.  Aggressive people tend to be emotionally honest, but express this honesty in an inappropriate way. They overreact and belittle others in interactions. They are loud, accusatory, and unwilling to listen to others’ viewpoints.  Passive-aggressive people are not clear about what they truly want, need, or feel. They are indirect, make promises and commitments they cannot keep, give people the silent treatment, and use sarcasm. They may come across as judgmental. Think of typical situations in which you are having trouble speaking up. Imagine what you’d like to say to the other person. Take time to gather your thoughts.  Write down what you’d like to say. Practice with a trusted friend. Role-play with a trained professional, such as a counselor, who can give you honest and objective feedback. “I want…”, “I feel…”, and “I need…” are helpful ways to get across your feelings clearly and directly without blaming the other person for something. These are especially helpful when you need to convey negative feelings or have an uncomfortable conversation. You can use this formula in virtually any situation: “When you do [action], I feel [emotion], and I need [action].”  Make sure not to use bad language or be vulgar; that will make the relationship worse. If you want to address a problem with a coworker, try saying, “When you leave work for three-hour lunches, I feel burdened with finishing up the research on our project. I need more time with you to do this together.” If you want to express a concern to a friend, try saying, “When you repeatedly cancel plans with me at the last minute, I feel sad and disappointed. I need more notice if you’re going to cancel.” If you use appropriate body language, your message will be better received by the other person. Assertive body language comes across as more confident. Begin by looking person directly in the eye.  Maintain direct eye contact with the other person. Do not look down, look away, or glare. Stand or sit up straight. Avoid putting your hands on your hips, clenching your fists, or pointing your finger at the other person. Do not fidget. Do not raise your voice, shout, or hesitate.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Avoid unhealthy communication styles. Practice speaking in front of a mirror. Use appropriate language. Use appropriate body language.