Summarize the following:
Common ground doesn't mean that you and the other person are both die-hard horseback riders. It can just be as the fact that you've both had to deal with a lot of bad weather that week. Anything that the person can relate to and that establishes a connection, however tenuous, can be considered common ground. And just because you don't want to talk about the weather, remember that the "small stuff" can lead you to talk about the things that matter to you. Here are some ways to establish common ground:   "Professor Hoffer is hilarious." "Ashley throws the most amazing parties." "Can you believe all of this rain?" "I just love coming to Arbor Cafe." Once you've established some common ground, you can use it to elaborate and say something a bit more personal. You shouldn't say something so personal that it freaks the person out, like, "I've actually been in love with Professor Hoffer for the last five years," but you can ease in to talking about yourself just a bit more. Here are some things to say to follow up with the last statements:  "He's the best teacher I ever had. He's basically the reason I'm an English major." "I actually met Ashley last year, when Ben took me to her Great Gatsby party." "The rain is just awful. I'm training for a marathon and had to do my long runs on the treadmill -- it's the worst." "Whenever I'm at this cafe, I just really feel like I'm in the zone. Maybe it's the intense drip-coffee -- but seriously, I feel like I can work for hours here." Now that you've established common ground and have revealed something about yourself, it's time to engage the other person and get her talking by asking her to reveal some information about herself. Don't ask anything too personal, like asking about the person's health, religion, or political views. Just keep it light and fun and ask open-ended questions about the person's interests, job, or surroundings. Here's how you can engage the other person:  "How about you? Are you an English major, or are you here for Professor Hoffer's crazy stories?" "Did you go to that party, or is this your first time here? It was fun, but I drank too many mint juleps." "How about you? Has the rain kept you from doing anything fun this week?" "Do you come here to do some work, or are you just reading for fun?" The person's response will influence whether you follow up with a question, a statement, or a joke. Try to find a balance between questions and statements. Too many questions will make the person feel like he's being interrogated, and too many statements won't give the person room to talk. Here's how you can keep these conversations going:   Other person: "I'm an English major too. I've always wanted to be an English major, but Hoffer's an added bonus for sure."  You: "Oh, really? What are you thinking of doing with that? It's great to meet another person in this highly lucrative field."   Other person: "I couldn't go to that party, but I did go to her Cinco de Mayo party last month. That party was crazy."  You: "It really was! I knew you looked familiar. How do you know Ashley? Isn't she nuts?"   Other person: "I don't mind the rain so much, but it made it hard for me to walk my dog! That was so annoying."  You: "You have a dog too? I have a little poodle named Stella. Do you have a picture of your dog?"   Other person: "I'm just here to read for fun. I can't believe I've gone this long without reading The Catcher in the Rye."  You: "I love that book! Some people think it's overrated, but I completely disagree." Once you start really talking to the person and get your back-and-forth banter going, you can also look around for cues for what to talk about next. You can notice anything from what the person is wearing or holding, to a sign on the wall that may apply to both of you. Here are some things you can say:   "Sweet 9ers jersey. That one's a classic. Have you been a fan for long?" "You ran the New York Marathon too? Which year? I don't know what I did with my t-shirt." "What do you think about this a cappella concert tonight? I've seen these flyers all over campus, but I don't know if I want to go." "Ah, the American Pageant. That book taught me everything I needed to know about American History. Is that class as easy as it used to be?" Really listening to things that the person says can help you pinpoint new common ground and to steer the conversation in a more fun or productive direction. The person may make a small comment that's tangential to your question or topic, so keep your ears open and see if something the person says can trigger a new line of conversation. Here are some example of how two people can pick up on cues and steer a conversation in a new direction to connect on a deeper level:    You: "I actually met Ashley on a Spring Break trip. We all went to Mexico with a bunch of friends."  Other person: "I remember her telling me about the trip! I was actually helping her improve her Spanish for it, but I doubt she really used it much -- unless you count the phrase piña colada."  You: "You speak Spanish? That's awesome. You could have helped me prepare for my study abroad trip to Madrid. My Spanish was okay by the end, but I could have used some help!"  Other person: "I love Madrid. My grandmother actually still lives there, so I visit her almost every summer. She takes me to the Prado every Sunday."  You: "Madrid is like my favorite city! The El Grecos in the Prado are to die for."  Other person: "You like the El Grecos? I'm more of a Goya fan."  You: "Oh, really? You know, there's actually a new movie about Goya coming out next week -- I think Ethan Hawke's in it! Want to go?"  Other person: "Of course!"

Summary:
Find common ground. Reveal something about yourself. Engage the other person. Follow up with a question or statement. Notice your surroundings. Take the time to listen.