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If you partner turns their back to you at any point, let your hands slide down until they’re resting on their hip bones. This will allow you to feel their movements more closely, and will also give you a little bit of control if you decide to change up your technique.  It’s normal for the person in the rear to hold onto their partner’s hips. Even so, be sure to lower your hands slowly so that your partner will have a chance to say something if they’re not okay with it. Don’t venture any further unless you’re explicitly told that it’s alright to do so. Unwanted touching is still inappropriate, even while grinding. Bend your knees slightly and sway from side to side. From there, you can begin moving in circles, or experiment with any other movements that suggest themselves to you in the heat of the moment. Depending on your height, you may have to stand up taller or put a little extra bend in your knees to keep even with your partner. Grinding is all about getting in synch with your partner, so stick close enough to keep your hips against your partner’s throughout the dance and try to mirror their movements. Allow your partner to call the shots when it comes to things like what movements to use and how much touching there is in various places. Being a good partner is all about respecting the person you’re sharing the floor with and adjusting your style to suit theirs. The more chemistry you have with your partner, the more likely they are to step up the amount of contact between you. If you’re dancing with someone you don’t know, or just don’t feel like dancing too close, you can tilt slightly to one side. Your partner will lean in the other direction. That way, you’ll be grinding on your your leg more than your lap. Pay attention to signs that your partner is hesitant to continue dancing so close. If their movements slow or stop or they try to pull away, for instance, it’s best to create a little distance. It wouldn’t be very fun if just you stood there and rocked your hips back and forth the entire time. To keep things fresh, try cycling between different movements every couple of minutes, or take turns leading and following. You may only have until the end of the song to enjoy your connection with your partner, so make it count!  If you and your partner are on the same page, you could even try dropping it low, dipping to opposite sides, or improvising your own embellishments. Another simple way to make grinding more interesting is to alternate between dancing from the front and back. Just because your partner was willing to grind with you, doesn’t that they’re up for anything beyond that. People often come to a club just because they want to dance, not looking for hook-ups. If your partner seems interested in you though, you can always ask them out, but be prepared to respect their answer. If your partner walks away after the song ends, don’t chase them. Instead, appreciate the fact that you had a chance to dance together and start looking for a new partner.

Summary:
Place your hands on your partner’s hips. Move your hips together in unison. Let your partner take the lead. Lean to the side to cut down on unwanted contact. Change up your movements every so often. Don’t assume that grinding is an invitation for anything more.