Article: If you want to respect your partner, then you have to be able to see yourselves as a true team together. You should think like a team in your mutual decisions and always think of your partner when you make individual decisions. You should think about you both striving toward goals that make both of you stronger instead of feeling like you have opposing needs and wants. If you truly look at yourselves as a unit, then you’ll be able to give your partner the respect that she/he deserves.  When you and your partner go out into the world, you should think of yourselves as a united front. Though you can’t always agree on everything, you should work on treating each other with kindness and dignity and in making decisions that help each other. Though you don’t have to have all of the same thoughts, you can practice saying “We” when you’re making a decision together instead of always starting your sentences with “I…” You can’t always be on the same page as your partner, and that’s perfectly fine. However, when differences do arise, it’s important that you discuss them respectfully. If you say something like, “That’s a stupid idea…” or, “I can’t believe you want to do that…” then this will make your partner feel angry and defensive and won’t lead to a productive conversation. Instead, take the time to listen to your partner and to be kind as they share their opinions.  Remember that if you start by being aggressive and angry, your partner will be much less likely to share their ideas or to compromise. Instead of being condescending or mean when you don’t agree, focus on phrasing it with "I" language, such as “I understand why you would see it that way…” or, “I just don’t think that’s the most suitable option right now…” Remember that how you say things can be just as important as what you say. As you move forward in your relationship, you will find that there are some ways in which you and your partner are fundamentally different. Maybe your partner is a neat freak while you’re messy; maybe you’re really social while they are more on the shy side. Though you can change a bit to suit each other, you can’t change completely, and you have to learn to accept and appreciate your differences if you want to truly respect your partner.  Of course, if you’re super messy and your partner is a neat freak, then you’ll have to be respectful of their boundaries and keep your part of the home clean, though you may not be able to reach their standards. If there are certain things about your partner that bother you that you know you won’t be able to change, such as their obsession with their dog, then you have to be respectful and learn to live with them if you want to continue a healthy relationship. In order to respect your partner, you have to let them know when they are doing things right. You can’t spend all of your time nagging them or being negative about all of the problems you see or you won’t be able to be happy together; whether your partner cheered you up when you were having a rough day, cooks amazing meals for you, or is always kind and attentive, take the time to truly let your partner know how much they mean to you.  This can mean that saying “thank you” and being specific, writing them a love note, or just taking the time to acknowledge positive behavior. If you never acknowledge all of the nice things your partner does for you, then they’ll see it as a sign of disrespect because it’ll look like you’re taking them for granted. Respecting yourself builds the foundation for a good relationship and life in general. Treat your body with care, avoid any behavior that makes you lose respect for yourself, such as abusing alcohol or being rude to strangers, and work on being the best possible version of yourself. If you don’t have that baseline, then it can be difficult for you to respect your partner, and you may fall prey to people who don't respect you. Work on caring for yourself. As a rule of thumb, ask yourself if you would treat a best friend that way, e.g. “Would I tell my best friend that she's a failure?” If not, don't say or do it to yourself. Become your own best friend. Another way to respect your partner is to be able to compromise on the things you disagree about. When you’re making a decision together, the most important thing is that you both first listen to each other and make sure you understand exactly where the other person stands on the issue. Then, you should be able to discuss the pros and cons of the situation in a respectful manner and to find a resolution that can make both of you as happy as possible.  When it comes to compromising, you may find that it’s better to be happy than to be right. Learn how to pick your battles and decide when it’s better to let your partner get what they want; when you really want something, though, then you can ask for it. When it comes to making smaller decisions, such as where to eat, you may be better off just taking turns. If you and your partner want to respect each other, then you have to practice mutual accountability. This means more than just apologizing when you’re wrong, but being aware of all the times when you disrespect your partner, while knowing that your partner is aware of the large and small ways that she disrespects you, too. As long as you’re both self-aware and understand what it means to disrespect each other and are willing to be accountable for your actions, then you have a long and healthy relationship ahead.  For example, if you came home two hours late without calling when you knew your wife was excited for a date night at home, you can expect that you disrespected your partner and should be accountable for what you did. For example, if your partner invited a friend to join you to an event that was supposed to be a date, then she should feel accountable for the way she disrespected you, too. As long as you both have little checks and balances in your relationship and are comfortable discussing your mistakes, you’ll be headed in the right direction.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Look at yourselves as true partners. If you don’t agree with your partner, discuss the situation respectfully. Learn to tolerate and appreciate differences. Acknowledge your partner’s contributions. Have self-respect. Learn to compromise. Practice mutual accountability.