When a follower mysteriously disappears, there are one of three things that have happened:
They're dead.
Sorry.
If you want your stuff, you'll want to find where they died.
If she was with you up to just recently, backtracking shouldn't be too difficult.
They bugged out.
This one's pretty easy to resolve: enter a new area or fast travel somewhere.
They'll be right behind you.
They went home.
This is what the message refers to.
Return to where you picked them up originally:
in the case of Lydia, that means Breezehome (if you've purchased it) or Dragonsreach in Whiterun.
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/None/
For PC, you can enter console commands (get to the console by pressing the tilde key, which is ` or ~ on your keyboard, usually under the Esc key and to the left of the 1 key): prid
<RefID>moveto player
They get lost a lot
so I do this a lot.
I just memorize the RefID.
Like for example, Lydia's RefID is a2c94 and Iona is a2c93
So for example, to move Iona to me, I put in: prid a2c93moveto player
Sometimes, you have to enter it twice.
Like this: prid a2c93moveto playerprid a2c93moveto player
Sometimes, they might have died.
then you need to resurrect them.
So do this: resurrectprid a2c93moveto player NOTE: if you resurrect them it will remove all their inventory!
If they had items, it's better to go to a previous save where they have not died!
NOTE: If you press the up-arrow on your keyboard it goes to commands you typed previously.
However, when you close the game then your command history is erased.
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/19208/gameaddict
Followers will wait for you up to 3 days at the location you instructed them to.
Once your 3 days are up, you'll get the "Your follower tires of waiting and leaves" message , they will return to the location you initially "hired" them from.
In case of Housecarls , like Lydia, they will either return to the keep in their respective cities, or your home in said city (assuming you purchased one).
In case of mercenaries , they'll just return to the bar/inn/
where-ever you hired them from.
Friends that become your companions return to their hometown and continue their daily NPC cycle.
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/21987/Muhaimmedu
Nevermind.
It seems that the follower simply goes home where you can recruit them again.
The follower still has all items.
In case of Lydia: Lydia will simply go back to Dragonsreach.
or Breezehome If you use mods
, it seems possible for the follower to end up in other places.
After searching for hours I once found Lydia in jail by finally using console command to teleport to her.
I believe that this was an effect of Ultimate Follower Overhaul mod for PC.
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/615/Patrick Klug
If you're playing on the PC, try teleporting your follower to your location through console commands.
This is easier and faster (no loading screens) than going to your follower's location and getting him or her to follow you again.
Console commands to teleport your follower to the player's current location: prid <RefID> moveto player prid targets an entity - your follower in this case.
Search for your follower's RefID at the UESP wiki's " Followers " article .
( Another method to target instead of using prid
<refID> is to open up the console and then click on an entity, this will automatically do prid <RefID> for the clicked entity.
However, this method won't be useful in your situation as the follower is not near your vicinity, and can't be clicked on. )
moveto player moves the targeted entity near the vicinity of the player.
Your follower should now be near you after doing this.
If for some weird reason, he/she is dead (happens sometimes), use the console command resurrect 1 .
Your follower should go back to life.
If for another weird reason, your follower is still not near your vicinity after doing this, he/she may have been 'disabled' from the game (might happen with NPCs that are long dead), making him/her not appear in the game.
Type enable in the console to remedy this.
If he/she still isn't up, type resurrect 1 again.
More info on console commands at the UESP wiki's " Console " article
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/4797/galacticninja
They go back to where they came from, or sometimes if you go there too fast, they are still on their way back (really doubtful they almost teleport) or if you haven't received the message saying they got tired, and you go where you left them, they died.
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/35682/polling11
I had an issue with this on PC version.
I told Lydia to wait.
Previously, she had spawned back in Dragonsreach but for some reason this time she did not.
So... I used a console command to move myself to her.
Oddly enough, it ported me right to the keep in Dragonsreach (where I was already when I used the command... and where I expected her to be) and everything seemed fine afterwards.
Seems to me like there is some kind of bug relating to this considering she had not died
and she suddenly appeared only after I used the command to move to her.
The command is:player.moveto
I suggest you save your game prior to using this command... also...
don't use it while mounted...
I did...
and I think because it ported me inside...
it then proceeded to crash not just my game but my computer and had to reboot.
You can find the RefID for NPCs here:
http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Category:Skyrim-NPCs
If you are not on the PC version I would suggest what Mark Trapp mentioned.
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/14585/Goblinlord
I had parked my follower at an inn with a bunch of valuable items that I didn't want to carry. I guess I have been out a bit too long as this message appears:    Your follower tires of waiting and leaves.    There have been other situations where my follower has mysteriously disappeared as well.  How can I find my follower when they get up and leave or disappear into thin air?
How do I find my follower if and when they leave me?
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gaming.stackexchange.com/questions/35296
gaming.stackexchange.com/users/615/Patrick Klug
This might mean they died. You could travel to a new area and see if they follow, or return to where you picked them up originally. After 3 days they return to here. There is a number of reasons for a follower to be missing however finding them varies.
In case of Housecarls , like Lydia, they will either return to the keep in their respective cities, or your home in said city (assuming you purchased one).
The follower is dead and there is nothing a player can do. The follower is bugged out and a player could find him with fast travel or entering a new area. The follower went home and a player could find him there. An other option is that the follower is tired and returned to the place the got hired. There is a straightforward way using console commands for a player to find their follower.