Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: gather round  reddit, yesterday i fucked up, i fucked up good. 

so the story story starts in a small tourist town on the shores of a beautiful sea. the day was slightly windy but otherwise perfect for visiting the beach, and in the morning i decided to go spearfishing with a buddy of mine. and since i'm not terribly bright we spent a few more hours then we should have, to be precise we spent 8 hours swimming and diving. now that's a bit extreme but if you keep yourself hydrated and keep eating things like powerbars it's quite pleasant (if you like that sort of thing). i hoverer brought only 4 liters of water and 4 powerbars.  so as you can imagine when i got out of the sea on a crowded public beach i was not thinking the straightest. another piece of backstory so you can understand what happened better while you are swimming for so long you need to ehhhhhh, piss. you need to piss a lot, like 3-4 times a hour.  and many spearfishers think that pissing all over yourself is good for you because it warms you up. no it does not, urine cools a lot faster then see water, so those 5 minutes of warm bliss will later lead to hours of hypothermia even in summer (the see temperatures around here are around 20 celsius in the summer, still cold enough to make your day miserable. and here comes the important part of the fuckup, there is this thing called a pissete, and instead of me describing what it is i think it would be better if you just saw a picture http://s1176.photobucket.com/user/xtapyououtx/media/wetsuit.jpg.html?t=1290996244 
guess what part i'm talking about. 

so, imagine walking with that on a public beach, not the best idea. but just walking out was not the problem. the problem was that i stooped for a few minutes to clean and gut the fish. now that attracted a few kids, and of course where there is a high concentration of kids there is a high chance of accidents. so at the same time i was stretching my back a kid fell right in front of me, and while trying to stand up he grabbed my pissete, while i was holding a knife... yeaaaaahhhh. 
not the worst part. now most of the things that happened happened in 10-15 seconds, probably even shorter. the kid started crying as soon as he fell. and as we are all genneticly predispositioned to turning around towards annoying sounds at least 30 people turned around to see a crying kid holding my dick while i hold a knife in my hand. the moment of shock left them much sooner then it left me. so as this big guy was walking towards me looking like he was about to rip my head off and shit down my neck i raised my both arms towards them, still holding the knife and say :"everything will be okay". the guy bounced back so fast it finally snapped me awake and i realized how much of a shitstrom i was in. 
and now the worst part comes. a couple of cops show up from nowhere, holding their guns up (this happens so rare in my country, one time a guy was threatening his family with a rife and they still had their guns holstered) i entered fucking panic mode, i realized what the cops see, a fucking gimp forcing a kid with a knife to jack him off on a public beach. and now i do the stupidest thing yet. i go to sheath the knife, and the sheet is on my belt, next to the kids head. luckily my dumb ass did not get shot. i say lucky because one of the cops was the bravest mofo i have ever seen. he dropped his gun to the floor and tackled me. i'm sure that anybody else would have shot me, hell if i was in that position i would have shot me. 

well, to sum it all up i spent the night in a police station, and in the morning they let me go because the kid told them what actually happened (oh thank you my divine protector whoever you are).

TIFU by being a pedophile (NSFW, i think)