Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i was riding the bus home this morning after working a 12-hour night shift without much sleep before work. i did what i usually do on the ride home, which consists of alternating between passing out and waking up every thirty seconds or so. for some reason the combination of falling asleep and the vibrations from sitting over the rear wheel of the bus commissioned a rigid, throbbing, leaning tower of mushroom meat in my pants. i woke up after a middle aged, southeast asian lady occupied the seat next to me, her legs awkwardly touching mine and her breast rubbing against my arm with every pothole as we shared a seat in the confined rear corner of this stinking vessel for the disabled and vehicularly challenged.   
  
i panicked. my stop was approaching and i was battling a trouser dragon which i could not slay. her unintended grinding and the bumpy road certainly did not help my cause. i considered riding the bus all the way around town until my man steak returned to medium rare, but this was not an option as i had to be home to let my girlfriend in, who did not yet have a key to the apartment.  
  
so i pressed the button to signal the driver to stop, planning in detail how i would exit the bus without alerting my fellow passengers to the angle of my dangle. i would put my backpack in front of my junk, stand up, and walk out the back door. the perfect crime.  
  
**where i fucked up:** as i stood up, i dropped my bag. no fear, i thought, her satellites haven't detected my surface-to-air missile yet, i will just bend over and pick up my knapsack and carry on. so i did, i bent over, inadvertently tucking my cock rocket back behind my legs. as soon as i retrieved my back pack and stood up, i noticed she was getting up from her seat. too late. wrong place, wrong time, one inch too far. in a cruel twist of fate, the instant she arose from her seat, my beef torpedo launched from between my legs and slapped her square in the jaw. fucking track pants allowed maximum velocity, too. nothing but jeans from now on.   
 
  
i was off the bus and running for my life before i had a chance to witness the look of horror that was undoubtedly pasted on her face. i am never riding that bus again. *never.*  
  
edited for grammar

TIFU by slapping an asian lady on the bus, in the face with my boner.