Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: TLDR at end

Background: currently in New York with for spring break. I transferred to a college in LA for this past year; previously I went to one an hour away from home for two years. 

So my 21st birthday is coming up, and I’m planning on spending with Thursday night to Saturday morning with my friends over at my old college. 

My family’s pretty upset at me - they already don’t like it when I spend time away from home over breaks. It’s worse because it’s also my birthday. My mom and sister really wanted to take me out in the evening for dinner and spend time together. 

The thing is that I do spend a lot of time with my family and I do care about them a lot. I do feel that it’s somewhat disrespectful that they paid for my flight and they are my family and I’m choosing to spend my 21st with other people. However, we also do have a pretty complicated relationship (family is both the reason I stayed closed for two years and then moved acrossed the country).

I also really want to spend time with my friends in New York (we’ve stayed very closed even with the distance). With one of them graduating this year and me gone, we don’t have much time to spend as a group. Also, my family doesn’t drink, and I do want to celebrate my 21st in a pretty typical fashion with my closest friends. 

I brought it up to my mom before I came home multiple times and she brushed me off every time. Eventually, I decided to go without her input and she’s not stopping me, but she’s pretty passive aggressive about it and obviously hurt. 

I’ve always struggled with knowing how much of my time I should give to my family and how much I owe to myself, but I really can’t tell here. So am I the asshole?

TLDR; my non drinking family wants me to spend my 21st with them; I’m planning on spending it with my college friends instead. 

ditching my family's plans for my birthday