Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: although i had complained of stomach aches my entire life, and was told that i was faking it, at the late age of 16 i found out i am lactose intolerant. i was still trying to wrap my head around the idea, and still learning the lengths of my intolerance, when the incident happened..
there were three fuck ups this night.

i was on a date, with a guy who i really liked. we were going to get coffee, and planned to hang out at my pool before going to a party. we went to dunkin' donuts, not my usual choice for coffee, but i attempted to order my usual. i asked for a large caramel iced coffee with soy milk. the woman said they did not have soy milk and offered skim milk as an alternative. at this point in my life i have never had skim milk, i did not know what it was, but i figured if it was offered as an alternative it must a suitable substitute. (this is fu number 2)

skipping ahead: we were at my pool, halfway through our large coffees when he says he has to go to the bathroom. he walks away and i think "great opportunity to fart!" (fu number 3) it was not a fart. i sat there zoned out in complete disbelief, hearing him open the bathroom door brought me back to the situation at hand. i jumped up and in passing told him that i had to go to the bathroom too. 

fu number 1 happened before i even left my house. i want to stress a valuable lesson that i learned this day: leggings are not pants. it was not fixable. maybe if i was wearing normal pants, that would have allowed me to wear underwear that had more coverage, i could have thrown away the soiled underwear and gone comando.. but no, i made the horrible mistake of thinking leggings were pants and the thong i was wearing left no hope for the thin, and now saturated in what resembled baby vomit, cloth that covered my ass.

i came out of the bathroom and told him that my father called and i had to go home. he offered to drive me, but in fear that he would smell me and the possibility of me leaving evidence on his leather seat, i told him my father would be more upset with me if he saw him. 

i went into my house running and screamed "hi dad! bye dad!" ...when i got out of the shower my father asked me, "did you shit your pants?" i was extremely embarrassed but i fessed up.

things didn't end up working out between me and the guy, but we met up a few years later and i told him what happened that night. he was amused and told me that he thought it was so strange that i ran home like that.

TIFU by not knowing what skim milk is