Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this wasn't today. but no matter how many days go by, i don't think i'll **ever** live this one down. 

my girlfriend, we'll call her jen (short for generic name), was amazing. fantastic in the body and looks department, at least when it came to my own preferences, and basically perfect in every other way. yes, i do have rose-tinted glasses on, but it was still great, no matter how you looked at it.

she had a tinge of emo about her, which i still adore to this day. just enough of the dark attire and 'don't give a fuck' attitude to be magnet in attraction, but not enough that it ever bordered on cringe or forced. she was quite physically outgoing, which meant -- for me as a bit of a shy guy -- i could just stand there and let her take the lead. and she was not only very vocal during sex, and i don't just mean loud as she would make it quite clear what she wanted, but also enjoyed it rough. for a guy with not much experience heading into his twenties, it was a dream come true.

as for why she liked me, i can only guess she thought i was adorable. and to some extent, a bit of a pushover, but even looking back, i would still happily do all the things she asked of me. 

anyway, one night i go over to her parent's place. from the *'please'*s and *'thank you'*s to the *'sir'*s and *'ma'am'*s, i'm on my best behaviour. her parents weren't bad by any means, lovely people, but considering i'm the one having sex with their daughter, it's was bit... yeah.

i'm usually one to wolf down food, but i take it slowly, careful not to slurp up her mother's spaghetti. anything that could be remotely rude, such as elbows on the table, i avoid.

after dinner, and thanking her mother for the amazing meal, i let jen drag me along upstairs. with a kiss or two on the way before she slammed the door shut. 

"condoms are in the drawer, i'll be out in a few minutes," she whispered, biting my ear and making my legs go weak for a moment. this was the first time we would ever have sex with her parents within the same vicinity.

remember how i mentioned she was a vocal one? but, as any guy in my situation would do, i started stripping down and getting ready. and almost needless to say, a different part of me got ready a lot, lot faster.

she comes out and pushes me onto the bed, straddling me and talking dirty. not whispering. talking loudly enough that if her parents were walking by, they'd have heard us.

to start, she rode me. and for the first few minutes it was going well. we switched positions with her face down and legs parted off the edge of the bed, and me behind.

now, i feel i should mention that i'm 90% sure she wanted us to fuck in her parent's house because of the nerves, because i was no where close to cumming. anywhere else, and i'd be on round two or three before she even came once.

anyway, we get on with business and a couple minutes later she cums. everything's still going well, even if i'm a bit tired and feeling a little sick. i chalked it up to nerves. oh, and when she moaned, she did it into a pillow, hard to hear that way. 

and then, she flips onto her back and pulls me over for round two. on her back, which means the moans are bound to be heard. 

*gulp.*

if she was taking advantage of a guy being nervous to keep fucking her, she knew exactly how to get what she wanted. but i didn't have the heart to speak up. then again, what guy's going to say, "i'm scared that you'll moan too loudly and your parents will hear us, can you like, keep a pillow nearby to moan into?"

yep.

so we go at it, and she starts really getting into it while i'm slowly, and i mean really *slowly*, calming down just enough to enjoy it.

that's where the growling started. 

"harder!" i went harder, biting down on my tongue. not the time nor the place to ask her to be a bit quieter.

"deeper!" okay, so i'm average sized, but i did my best.

the cycle repeated. i'm starting to sweat everywhere. sweaty palms. sweaty forehead. sweaty legs. but by now, she's close and like hell if i'm going to disappoint the woman of my dreams. 

so i pound her. 

like a sprinter, giving it his all, throwing everything and the kitchen sink into fucking. my arms pulling, my legs pushing, and all the muscles i can consciously move to fuck her. i may be nervous and feeling a bit sick, but that never stopped anyone.

she starts scratching at my chest, demanding more. and i obliged, wincing a bit. not at the pain, i kinda liked it, but at the sheer volume of my voice.

and i start feeling a little sicker. please remember, at this point, i'm not super-experienced. and i simply chalked it up to nerves, even with my breaths heaving and chest rapidly pulling and pushing. like a sprinter...

she gets closer, i we go faster. she calls for more, i give. she basically screams shes cumming, and i give scrape the bottom of the barrel for whatever energy stores i have left.

the sick feeling magnified. i was starting to enjoy myself. she was cumming or about to. 

in waltzes my stomach to ruin the day. my mouth starts salivating like crazy, and i panic, trying to pull away from her. i didn't know why, not 100%, but some part of my body was screaming **'get the fuck off her'**.

she was having none of it, another growl and lurching off the bed to pull me back, not to mention the legs around me.

and... shit.

i opened my mouth to speak, only to find my stomach wanted to get the first word in. cue dinner all over her. face, breasts and stomach. and the worst part, this was as she was cumming.

open mouth, and...

i'm sure you get the picture. but hey, at least her eyes were closed. 

thankfully, it was a single spray. before she kicked me away, and i ran to the bathroom to let out another two heavings. 

my heart's racing and i'm a quivering mess. i just threw up on the girl of my dreams, as she was cumming, and she probably got some in her mouth. on her bed. did her parents hear us?

she came in after me, spitting into the sink and slamming the tap to full blast.

we didn't talk much. but we did clean up. i called a friend to pick me up, and went home claiming to be a bit sick. i don't know if she slept on her bed that night, or at all.

for a few days, we didn't talk. i did crack a joke, laughing quite nervously, about how i 'gave it my all'. from then on, we never mentioned it and continued like nothing had ever happened.

a few months later, we broke it off as i moved quite far away.

***

 
there's vomit on his girlfriend already, mom's spaghetti.

edit: thanks for the gold, ~~twice!~~ thrice!

TIFU by fucking my girlfriend too hard... [NSFW]