Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so this happened this mornin, i am a new otr truck driver and i like to cook my own food. (truck stop food is good, but sucks your wallet dry) and i'm on a 34hr reset. 

today i wanted sausage and eggs for breakfast. so i have my little stove out on my "table" slick cooler top (fuckup #1) and the skillet on the stove. i grab a log of sausage and use my recently sharpened buck knife to open it and lay the knife beside the stove still unsheathed. (fuckup #2)

as i am squeezing some sausage out of the log it looks like it could fall to the floor, i jerk my hands, (fuckup #3) sausage bumps the stove, stove bumps the knife and it falls off tge table and out of view. i felt/heard it hit the floor, but also a pain in my foot. 

as i look over the cooler i see it standing straight up buried tip first about an inch through my sock and into my foot. i expected more pain, but less blood. as my brain trys to comprehend wtf is going on i curls my toes. wrong move, felt that fuckup quick and i whipped the blade out of my foot. blood flows forth and suddenly i have a red sock. thank god i was wearing that sock or my truck would've looked like a murder scene.

i put my shower flip flops on (have a nice lip around the edge to hold water and now blood)and walk into the truck stop to get a first aid kit. ask the young clerk if they sell them and he just stares at me with this scared look and asks "why?" 

"because i'm about to be bleeding all over your floor." the clerk looks over the counter and just froze up when he saw my foot. some other driver points me in the right direction. 

no first aid kits, yay. but i can gather the things i need; hydrogen peroxide, neosporn, gauze, and tape(thank you boyscouts) and wait patiently in line. apparently no one wants to let a bleeding man in front of them.

clerk froze again when i got to the front and started asking another question. i stopped him "i dont want to bleed on your floor and my flip flop is full of blood. please just ring me up."

after having to swipe my loyalty card 3 times, i finally get back to my truck clean/dress the hole while sitting on the curb. 

climb back into the truck and realize i left the stove on and burnt the sausage. 

maybe i should get childproof scissors instead of a big boy knife.

TIFU by Cooking Breakfast