Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: a few years ago i was at one of my best friend's birthday party. it was while i was in grad school and she had invited a bunch of people she knew from undergrad and our internship. a few months before she had told me about this girl that i might like, but who was kind of crazy. i didn't ask for her to elaborate, assuming that crazy meant party girl because they were a couple years younger than me.


so the party is a blast, everybody's having fun, and i am the dj/mc. i played a few backstreet boys songs, dancing and singing along with them. 
at this point i noticed the girl talking to my friend kylie about me. they keep looking over at me and giggling.
the girl, amanda, then comes over to me and starts up a conversation. we get along great for the next few songs, and are really starting to hit it off.
kylie's bf then suggests that we all go to the strip club. 
fantastic idea! i'm already drunk, and have never been, so there has never been an idea i've loved more in my life.


we get to the strip club and i'm just completely blown away. naked girls everywhere, dudes being creepy. girls watching what's happening awkwardly. 
the part of me that loves to see other humans at their most vulnerable and  natural state was in heaven. the primal look in the guys eyes as they burned holes into these girls naked flesh was something i'll never forget. even though very drunk, i can still picture their focused concentration. it was as if they diverted their eyes for a second, it would all just disappear, and they'd find themselves right back in their mom's basement.
now while i've been observing the going ons inside of the club, one of my buddies had paid one of the dancers like $20 to dance on me solo for a few minutes.
in my distracted, surveying mode, i barely even registered what was happening to me. i don't remember what the girl looked like, what color her hair was, or whether i was sitting or standing. apparently she noticed, and in a last ditch effort for my attention, forcefully shoved her pelvis into my face while possibly hanging from a pole (?... not sure how it happened to this day). completely caught off guard, my drunken self loses balance and tumbles straight into amanda, who was watching what i was getting from an adjacent table.


after mopping up her spilled drink and apologizing profusely, i ask her how she's enjoying the strip club.
"well, so far it's been a waste of the cover charge. but you don't seem to be too into it either."
"yeah, i wouldn't come here on my own, but i enjoy just watching how people who come here act."
"you're weird."
"yeah... i realize that."
she then just grabbed me and started making out with me hard core in the middle of the club. 
like throwing me against the wall, rubbing all over me.. doing things i've only seen in crappy pornos.
kylie's boyfriend sees us going at it and starts cheering us on. he then gathers everyone up and said we need to get home now so everyone can do it. 
drunk me is like "yeah!!!".


so we get back to kylie's house, our other friends go home, she and her bf go to their room, her roommate goes to her room, and amanda and i are left in the living room.
apparently, she hasn't had enough, and starts tearing into me like a hungry lioness.
having never encountered a girl quite as passionate before, i figure it's time for me to take the lead and give her a good time. 
she was a tiny little thing, 5'2" and maybe 115, so once i started taking control, she didn't have much choice. 
i'm feeling like a rockstar, drunk and hooking up with a hot girl the first night i met her.
keep in mind we are in a living room, with no lights on, no bed, and both drunk as shit. 
but i'm trying things i've only ever seen professionals attempt, and she seems to be enjoying it, so i decide to get real creative, and have her do a hand stand (facing away from me), while i'm standing on the couch. 


if you can imagine the logistics, this takes a fair amount of coordination, especially from two inebriated, albeit highly athletic individuals. 
she then tells me to put it in her butt. normally, i'd be fairly hesitant, especially since i have no idea when the last time she had showered or emptied her bowels. 


but on this night of exploration, i was like aladdin, seeing a whole new world. 
again, in the middle of a living room, and without a repertoire of typical sexual staples (lube) some improvisation was needed. 
so once that was achieved, she told me to take it slow and ease into it. 


slow and easy while sober is difficult enough when you're in an  aroused state, but intoxicated it took every ounce of determination i had to not jam it like i was trying to rupture her spleen.
unfortunately, the concentration i was putting into keeping a slow, steady rhythm took away from the focus on my precariously placed feet.
i had slowly inched closer and closer to the edge of the sofa cushions, and seeing as i was basically supporting all of her weight, it was as if a 300 pound man placed all his weight on the outer 4 inches of the couch.


as my momentum took me forward in the thrust, the two front legs of the sofa snapped outward, causing me to tumble all of my weight, penis first into this girls ass.
of course her scrawny arms could not take my sudden weight transfer, and she crashed face first into the ground. 
somewhat fortunately, i was still holding her legs, so she didn't bang them against the coffee table, and i landed on my feet, no worse for the wear.
i laid her legs on the ground and was terrified i had just snapped her neck.
i roll her over and her eyes are shut. 
"fuckkkk me... amanda.. amanda..."


at this point i hear our friends stirring in their room, and i'm just like holy fucking shit...
so i quickly put my underwear on, place the feet of the couch back into a position where they can at least bear stationary weight, lift her onto the couch, and cover her up with a blanket.
kylie comes into the hallway and asks me if everything is ok, i said yeah, i just fell off the couch while sleeping..
she sleepily mumbles and heads back to her room. 
i'm still like "oh shit, oh shit"... and crazy thoughts about leaving the country are going through my head.


i sit on the ground next to amanda's head and am quietly saying her name. nothing.
so i do the only thing i can think of that everyone reacts to - i tickle. 
she gives a little jerk and swats my hand away... omg i have never been so relieved in my life.
hoping that she's passed out for the night, i sit in the recliner and nod off to sleep.


the next morning i woke up (after about 4 hours sleep), and amanda is coming back from the bathroom. 
she sees me awake and asks, "did we have sex last night?"
not sure of how to answer i reply, "a little, but you seemed pretty tired."
"wow, ok... i got scared you stuck it in my butt or something, i can hardly walk right now."
again, unsure of what i should be saying "huh, i'm sorry.."
"it's ok, i went too crazy last night, i've got a fucking ridiculous headache right now."
"damn, you want me to get you some aspirin or something?"
"i'm good, i'll just sleep a bit longer." she laid back down.
"ok, well i need to head home, but that was fun. we should hang out again."
"yeah, text me."


i left kylie's house in a state of disbelief.. apparently the blow knocked the whole memory of what happened out of her.
we actually went on to date for a few months, and i didn't tell her the story until after she tried punching me in the face for laughing at something stupid. but it was like this crazy secret i couldn't help laughing at whenever it popped into my head.


so moral of the story, always have lube and a bed.

TIFU by hooking up with a girl at a strip club and nearly breaking her neck - NSFW