Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input:  

TL;DR at bottom

Hey all.  This has been going on for the past few weeks and I’m feeling really shaken and guilty.  Sorry for the bad grammar and stuff.  

So my previous good friend of many years is Tina (not her actual name).  We were reasonably different, but complimented each other.  She’s had some serious family troubles that I’ve helped her with.  We’ve never been in the same social circles, but still made time for each other.

Fast forward to the last two years and in comes John.  From the first time I meet him, I sensed some kinda bad vibes, but I ignored it (stupid me) and was happy that she was in a relationship with someone she loved.  I tried to joke around with John, but he just kinda stared at me so I stopped. We still occasionally hung out and chatted online, but I understood that she needed to cut a bit of our time to develop her relationship.

I don’t know when it started, but Tina started to become a bit more distant.  She’d sometimes leave me on read, or say that she can’t make meetups and always make some vague excuse.  At first I let it slide, but when it started getting worse, I asked her what’s up and why are you becoming more distant.  She just said “sorry, work’s getting real busy” or something along the lines of that, which I thought “that’s fair”. 

One thing I still remember today is when I meet her boyfriend by chance at a supermarket.  I was shopping in an aisle which he happened to also be in.  I smiled and said “hey”.  He just scowled at me, with this look of disgust then walked away.  Even now I wish that I had gone up to him and asked, “what was that for, bitch?” But at the time, I just stood there.

I guess I figured out what the scowl was for when one of Tina’s friends asked me “hey, do you know that Tina has been talking shit about you?”  This shocked me.  She said “yeah, her and her boyfriend have been calling you slut and stuff. I’m all for gossip and stuff, but it was just really toxic.” I was extremely  upset.  I used to use have sex and  do drugs throughout middle school and high school because I was dealing with some really bad shit and Tina knew that.  People have called me slut behind my back, but to know that Tina was the one that said it hurt me so much. 

I consulted with another one of my friends and she agreed to come with me and confront Tina about it.  I asked her if we could meet up and surprisingly she agreed.   So we meet up, sat down and did a bit of small talk.  Then I asked “is it true that you’ve been calling me a slut behind my back?”  I’ve always been direct. She seemed shocked and quickly denied it.  I said that her friend told me that and she immediately  asked “which one?” It didn’t matter and I told her that.  She seemed really uncomfortable so my friend stepped in and asked the questions again, but a bit softer.  Tina’s always been a bad liar so her face said it all. 

I wasn’t really too angry, just mostly sad.  Actually scratch that, deep down I was pissed.  I asked her why did you do that.  She didn’t really say anything.  When I asked if her boyfriend made her say it she said no. I remember her shoulders were super hunched over and she was shaking a bit.  I admit that this should have been a warning sign to stop but I was to upset to consider that. I asked her what’s going on and she said nothing.  I replied something along the lines of “you, knowing my history, called me  a slut.  That’s not nothing.”  

She then told me “well you kinda were.” My friend told me that, when Tina said that, my face looked so angry, especially after she continued “I told John about it and he agreed.” 

I exploded.  I’ve been known to have somewhat of a nasty temper (I’ve been going to therapy to help reduce that), so the next five minutes were us screaming at each other, with most of what I said summarising into “what the fuck is wrong with you.”  At one point, Tina accused me of being a Lesbian that was obsessed with her. My friend tried to calm us down, but that didn’t work so she half dragged me out of the building and into her car.  I don’t remember most of this, most of it is my friend telling me what happened.  I do remember breaking down in the car though.

A year and a bit past since then.  Tina blocked me on all social media.  Her friend told me that John and Tina still talked shit about me until that friend stopped hanging out with her.  Due to our social groups not overlapping there wasn’t any friend drama, but I still felt empty.  When I thought of Tina, I choked up on fury and sadness.

I got a text from Tina a couple of weeks ago asking if we could meet up.  When I asked her “why?, she said “to apologise” 

So I meet up with her and she explained that her boyfriend was verbally and emotionally abusive, bordering on Narcissism.  She said that he was so nice at first and then turned toxic.  That he talked shit about most of her friends (especially me for some reason) and eventually she kinda believed that.  It took a lot of self-reflection and help from others to realise what was going on.  Even then he tried to keep them together.  

She told me this and apologised and I just remember sitting there, saying nothing.  I couldn’t bring myself to forgive her.  I’ve always been one to hold a grudge, so many be that’s why.  I understand that maybe I should have tried to reach her, but part of my was furious that she told someone I didn’t know that well personal stuff like that.  I might be overreacting.  It’s just I feel so guilty because she went through hell and I’m basically telling her to piss off. It’s just I don’t trust her enough now for this not to happen again.   I feel so bad and don’t really know if I’m being dick.

TL;DR:  Good friend of mine dated a narcissist, became really toxic and called me slut behind me back.  When I confronted her we had a screaming match and didn’t talk for a year and a half. She apologised but I can’t forgive her.

not wanting to be friends with someone after they were in an abusive relationship