Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: my very first post on reddit so bear with me. this happened a week ago when i was staying over at a friend's house in preparation for a wild party the next day. you see i haven't beat the meat in just over a month due to exhaustion, so naturally i was carrying enough jelly to flash flood an area. 

so i had the great idea to release my self in my friend's bathroom. i'm sure my friend won't mind, right? as i ascended into enlightenment, i accidentally over jizzed a big patch on his floor so in the heat of the moment i quickly finish off in his bath tub. i sweep the floor with an unholy amount of toilet paper and wash away the excess jizz in the tub with the shower head. 

you see that's where things started to go wrong...
i had left all the tissue paper inside the toilet bowl and forgot about it completely. i have no idea why, maybe it was the extreme rush of blood in my head or distraction from the cleaning of the tub or maybe both idk. 

so anyway i go back on my laptop to get on with my business, after 15 minutes i heard a massive "what the fuck" in the bathroom. it turns out my friend's girlfriend was in the house asleep and we didnt know. it turns out she was about to take a shower and she wanted to unclog the tower drain since it was filled with hair (cause you know, girls n all). you see what i didn't know was jizz kinda half solidifies when it comes in contact to warm/hot water into an extremely sticky and thick substance. 

in other words she pulled out a massive hairball of monstrosity. a big ass hairball that was covered in half solidified jizz, it was looked almost like a cut out tumour. instinctively you would normally dropped it, but she held it in disgust and was going to flush it. 

this is where it got even worse, i remembered that i didn't flush all the jizz tissue. as i stormed into the bathroom, i stood there at the door speechless. she already opened it and she just froze there, my friend came rushing in and looked at everything. in a good 10 seconds he sort grasped the situation he began laughing his ass off. i was glad that my friend was able to laugh it off, as for his girlfriend she looked at me with medusa glaring eyes and told me i was banned from coming over ever again. my friend had nothing to say in the moment, he was too busy dying of laughter.

i found £10 while walking back so i have that going for me which was nice.

TIFU by jacking off in the bathroom