Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: long story: 

my fuck up begins in the wonderful town of college station, tx last night at about 9pm in the northgate district. i was gonna have a good time, but at 11pm, i had to cut out for some business bullshit. i proceed to take care of that all damn night. when 9am rolls around i land in dallas at one of my manager's houses as planned. i pour a cup of coffee, take a shower, pour anther cup of coffee, and we crawl into my pickup (with him driving, i'm too busy suckling my cup 'o joe), and he drives me to the place that we are gonna have to do a bid. 

now a little history on the lady we are doing a bid for: she thinks she's high society, she has a fake british accent, and was wearing a fur coat even though its like 95 fucking degrees (f not c, i'm heat resistant, but not that heat resistant). we walk around the house, frank (my manager) is drawing like a mad man. i'm discussing flower colors and various garden bs. i see her kid (3 to 4 years old) poking at something with a stick. holy mary and joseph thats a big fucking rattlesnake! i snatch the kid up (instinctual action) and hand him to miss priss. she starts to get mad until the damn snake starts rattling. 

i go into motion. frank is terrified by snakes so he's white as a sheet, and miss priss is asking to my back as i walk away if i was going to remove (her exact word) it. of course i am. i am a bonified west texas country boy who has had a vendetta against all rattle snakes since he was 13. i can id a rattlesnake vs a bullsnake on the road at 70 miles an hour and when i've had a few beers i can catch them with my bare hands (won a couple hundred dollars off of that trick). i hustle back to my truck and select my shovel from my anti-snake arsenal. 

this shovel is to me as a crusader's sword is to him. it has been by my side for many a snake, and i keep its edge quite keen. sometimes i dig with it, but that is neither here nor there. i hustle back, and the lady looks relieved that i have returned to "remove" the snake. so i drop a stick nudge it just right and this old rattler strikes at the end. last mistake he ever made, as i removed his head from his body with a clean stroke of the shovel. 

behind me i hear a gasp. i turn, one eyebrown cocked to miss priss looking at me like i've grown a thumb... out of my forehead. 

she proceeds to tell me how i should have removed it from her premises and released it into the wild. how i was everything short of the devil for murdering a poor defenseless (ha!) creature. at this point, my sleep deprived mind realizes that she is serious. i laugh. she asks me to leave her property. i grab the snake, a 5 ft long fat tub of lard, and flip it over my shoulder as i walk back to my truck. i remove my spoils of war (the rattles), pitch the snake into the bar ditch and leave. 

i receive a call from her husband (some banker dude) later, notifying me that he will be breaking contract with me for the maintenance of the flower beds around his bank. 

 

tl;dr^2: bitches be cray, yo.

TIFU by killing a rattle snake