Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so i met this girl on halloween and we have been hitting it off pretty well despite the fact that 2 out of 3 of the times we have met up the cops got involved.

anyway, i'll skip to the fuck up...

we sitting on her couch ~~are~~ talking about nothing specific and i get a sudden urge to make out with her so i extend my hand and pull her on top of me. she gets giddy like a young school girl and we start our make out session.

heavy breathing. hands every where. i ~~take~~ slide off her top [and] bottoms and she does the same to me. i crawled on top of her and i slide my hand down her stomach and slowly get her going. all is good in the world. she pushes me onto my back and gets on top of me and starts to grind on top of me, i've heard it called hotdogging.

after a few minutes she slides me into her. yes!

we are going at it and...then...i feel something. it is sharp and kinda uncomfortable. this isn't normal i think to myself but i don't want to stop.

she is getting more and more turned on and i go for one of my favorite moves and i pick her up and start to pound her like in a porn. she goes crazy with pleasure (claiming she came when i asked later) but all i can think is

*omg is her cervix made of razor blades*

**my fuck up - i should have said something right then that something wasn't right.** we shift from one position to another, not much is helping me.

we move to her bedroom and after a brief cool down period, a quick inspection of my manhood and some water we get back too it.

this time i can barely enter her without sharp paper cut level pain on the head of my penis. i finger her to see if i can locate the cause of this sharp pain, nothing. she is loving the attention, i'm feeling like mr. magoo trying to figure out if i've found the inspiration for the movie teeth. nothing. i reenter and there it is again, my little guy shrieked in fear and retracted to his safe place, thus ending sexy times.

we cuddle ~~for a while~~ and fall asleep after a while. the next morning we say our goodbyes and i go run my errands for the day. i can't walk without my manhood brushing up against my boxers and i tear up at the intense pain after almost every step.

i decide to message her and tell her she might want to see her gyn cause i am in intense pain and it felt like there was something abrasive inside her that was pretty deep since i couldn't feel it with my fingers.

she messaged me back that she got a little zealous and forgot to remove her tampon... -_-

now i am sitting here with a visibly damaged penis ~~and~~ and super glad it isn't an std.

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edit: grammar and words

**edit2:** for everyone claiming this is made up, is this really that far fetched to believe? i have no way to convince you...and no, i will not post pics of my "rug burn"... anyway, have your laugh and move on.

**edit2.1** - i had never felt a tampon while still inserted before, so i had no idea that is what it was nor did i make the connection given my attention was split between several different things. so now i know.

**edit3:** as for the cops, i have posted the first cop situation in /r/self in this thread - http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/2kzyti/my_halloween_night_a_night_i_wont_soon_forget/. the second was when i returned her purse and she wasn't expecting me, refused to answer the door and called the cops. but that isn't very interesting or funny.

**p.s. also for the mods, so many people complain about sex stories (even when they are posted on the only approved days) so maybe a mod post explaining how to use the res filter system would be cool.**

TIFU by NOT telling the girl that her vagina was physically hurting me