Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so this happened years ago when i was in the 7th or 8th grade, not even remotely recent. 

some background: i had just discovered the magic that is a good rubby dubby when i was about 11. i guess i started a bit young and i wouldn't ejaculate during orgasm. i basically learned that i can mash it wherever the fuck i wanted without any consequence of staining sheets, clothes, fine rugs, or people. fast forward a year or two and i'm practically going at it any chance i get (albeit now able to unleash a furious load). now, being raised in a christian household by hawkeyed parents made jacking it difficult. i was perpetually subjected to a no doors closed ever policy and i was never home alone. prolonged time without masturbating was brutal for me. due to this i often felt my balls growing twice their size and working overtime to hold back the insane amounts of jizz my 12/13 year old self was producing. ok, they didn't actually grow, but seldom masturbating sure made me horny and eager enough to jack off every second i could so it sure felt that way. i sought release whenever my loins asked. i would even go as far as masturbating to muted porn with people in the house and with my door wide open. i always masturbated really quietly with my senses on high alert. i was a fucking pro, too; i had never been caught. as soon as i heard footsteps, my browser and dick were concealed in a matter of seconds. basically, i was a vigilant and rabid autoerotic machine who masturbated wherever and whenever without any inhibitions. i was almost unstoppable. 

there was one weakness in my system, though. since i wouldn't ejaculate at first, i never learned the proper cleanup etiquette. when i started ejaculating i would just jizz into my hand, go to the bathroom, and wash up. it never occured to me that i should equip myself with tissues a priori.

cue the fu. 

i attended middle school at a tiny christian private school. my mother was a teacher there and she had her own classroom. i always stayed an extra hour or so after school until my mother finished all her duties. she was usually in charge of after school care in another room so her classroom was always empty. one day i decided to hang out in her empty classroom since i had nothing better to do and all my friends had already gone home. well, i must have felt my balls cap off at max capacity and decided that it would be a good time to mash it. i sat behind the teacher's desk and proceeded to pound away. i stayed vigilant. five minutes in and i heard the door knob turn and one of my teachers came in looking for my mother. i had my dick out with my pants around my ankles. she couldn't see anything though since i was taking cover behind the teacher's desk. i held a one minute conversation with her and told her where my mother was. teacher leaves. back to business. i finally get to finish and cum in my hand (i happened to have made a bowl shape with my hand so i was holding a pond of what was clearly human tadpoles). i get up, congratulate myself for a job well done, and proceed to head out to the hallway bathroom to wash my hands. i opened the door. there she was. the teacher came back and said, "hey, i didn't find your..." she looked down. i looked down. we made eye contact. her jaw dropped. she clearly knew that i was not transporting an emergency supply of runny tapioca pudding. i bolted without saying a word. i learned my lesson that day. i continued to masturbate a few more times in that empty classroom but i always made sure i had a paper towel handy.

(NSFW) TIFU by masturbating in an empty classroom after school