Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so this one actually happened today, as in a few hours post-incident and i need to get it off, well, everywhere. 

as a teenage boy does, i was spending my sunday afternoon jacking the johnson. at this point in the story, i've blown my load, and am giving the old post-orgasmic rub down. i was also under the impression (quite correctly as of when i started) that i was home alone. 

wrong. the thing about my bedroom door is that it's pretty much completely silent, and what i hadn't realised was my little sister was in the process of slinking in. 

a little back story: the day before, dad drops a pyrex dish on the floor and the funny thing about smashed glass is it goes everywhere. 

so here i am, fondling my dong, when my sister screams. what the hell? i cover up, but it's too late, she's seen the schlong. also, i forget about the tissue, but that comes in later. 

it's then i realise she looks pretty miserable, so i sit up, covering myself with my duvet. she's sniffling, there's blood all over the floor, holy shit. i get up, doing an awkward shuffle over to my sister with my duvet. 

dad hadn't cleaned up completely yesterday, and my sister had cut her foot on some glass. not wanting to leave her alone, we head into the bathroom for the medical kit, me swaddled in my duvet, regretting my happy time. we clean her foot up (its not a terrible cut, there's just a lot of blood) and it's the most awkward bonding experience i'll ever have. after sorting her out, the sister disappears, and i throw the duvet off. 

it's then i realise that the mistake i made wasn't letting my sister see my manlihood. no, the mistake was to continue being as brotherly as possible, instead of sticking on a pair of pants.

semen, apparently, is a wonderful adhesive, in that paper fibres and cotton will continue to love each other. the tissue had caught on the bottom of my duvet, and smeared my baby-making juice everywhere.

 not only is my load all over my duvet, but i've also dragged it through my sister's blood. which meant i've dragged it across the floor, the thing a paintbrush for the canvas of regret. 

there's bloody cum everywhere, all over the carpet on the landing, and i'd find it almost artistic if not for the fact that i'd have to clear it up before my parents got home.

TIFU by not letting my sister see my dick NSFW