Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so, a couple of weeks ago, i was with some friends, whose names will be changed for this story. it was me, my friend histamine, my other friend satyr, and his little sister who he had to take everywhere with him. we decided to go get some frozen oven pizzas from a nearby grocery store since little caesar's (an inexpensive carry-out pizza place) was closed and the other pizza restaurants were too expensive. okay, but here's the thing... histamine and i have to pay for everything because satyr refuses to even attempt to get a job and caesar isn't old enough to get one. normally, i don't mind because i enjoy satyr's company.
well, we get to the store and start browsing the frozen oven pizzas. satyr kept suggesting that we get red baron pizza, but no one else agreed. i was looking for digiorno's pepperoni pizza with breadsticks, but all they had was cheese pizza with breadsticks, so i settled for a pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust. satyr was unhappy and said he couldn't eat stuffed crust pizza because he's "lactose intolerant". i settled for stuffed crust anyway because i've seen satyr eat ice cream, pizza, and cheeseburgers. caesar didn't want anything from the grocery store and only wanted restaurant pizza. but dammit, i was getting digiorno no matter what. histamine noticed this and stepped closer.

histamine: "lunaticbynature, why don't you just get freschetta? it's just as good as digiorno and it's only $4.00!"

me: "i like digiorno better."

at this point, caesar got in front of histamine.

caesar: "it's the same price as little caesar's! why can't we go to little caesar's?!"

histamine: "they're closed, caesar. lunaticbynature, just get 2 freschetta pizzas! you can buy 2 for only a little bit more than one digiorno pizza!"

caesar: "but it's the same price as little caesar's!"

histamine: "they're closed! lunaticbynature, just buy 2 freschettas!"

caesar: "nooooooo! it's the same price as little caesar's!"

a little background, caesar is stubborn as hell. histamine can't stand being challenged. their personalities cannot and will not co-exist in harmony. so there i am, standing as histamine, a 19 year old, and caesar, a 14 year old, are literally inches from me, shoving eachother back and forth, almost screaming while they each try to present their argument over the others. then they start grabbing at me, trying to pull me closer to them as if that's gonna help. at this point, it wasn't even about the pizza. it was a fight to gain dominance... a dick measuring contest... to see who would have the last word. keep in mind, this is all in public.

histamine and caesar overlapping eachother as they push and shove eachother around the aisle: "just buy a freschettaaaaaa!-noooooooo, little seezeerrrzzz!-it's cheaaperr!-lunaticbynatuuuuuurreeee! little seezers!-only $4.00!-itz da same priiiiiiiicceee!-just as good!-as little seezeeerrrzzz!"

god knows how long this went on for... it felt like centuries. millennia... eternities. i was frozen in a state of disgust and disbelief as the scene played out in front of me. i can't explain to you how upsetting it was. caesar doesn't just raise her voice... no, if that were true, god wouldn't bestow mercy as it all would've been spent on making caesar's voice bearable. but no, such fantasies are for children. reality is dark and twisted... 
when caesar raises her voice, it becomes an unholy screech. you feel it slicing into your soul. you can feel hell and its host rising up to lay upon your tympanic membranes when caesar unleashes her horrendous screech.
at this point, my nerves were on edge. i was starting to freak out internally. i already don't like constant loudness, especially when it's inches from my face, pulling me closer to it. and the whole time, satyr was brooding down the aisle because i settled on the stuffed crust pizza and not what he wanted.
i could feel myself feeding off the dark side of the force. i felt the rage flowing through my veins. i almost drew my lightsaber and ended them then and there, but i decided against it (i wish i had a lightsaber...). finally, i spoke to histamine.

me: "i'm buying the digiorno. you can buy the freschetta." 

histamine agreed, but not after informing me once again that it would be cheaper to get the freschetta pizza. okay! problem solved! i didn't lose myself and force lightning my friends to death, but i was still reeling.
i offered to buy a 2 liter of coke and went up to the checkout counter with the pizza and coke. suddenly, satyr sets a large snickers chocolate bar down onto the checkout counter, accompanied by caesar setting down an orange crush. i watched in disbelief as the snickers and crush made contact with the rotating belt on the checkout counter. any spark of sanity was quenched and my world faded to black as i unleashed the full potential of my hatred. everyone died.

alternate, true ending:
okay, so obviously i didn't kill my friends. but satyr and caesar really did set items on the rotating belt without asking me, expecting me to pay for them. i don't know why i didn't say anything. i don't know why i didn't put my foot down. i guess i was just too exhausted. i didn't wanna have to deal with any more griping or brooding... or screaming... and so i let them...
i know... what an insufferable act of weakness and cowardice. 
i should've stood my ground and said "put that shit back, you little bastards."
but no... i became the one person i always frowned upon. like the father whose children are little brats because he's too tired and lazy to discipline them. not that i'm satyr or caesar's father, nor do i have such authority, but in the moment, when we were all acting like children, i could have been. but i relinquished the opportunity to help satyr and caesar grow because i was stressed out... just before i exited the store, i whipped back around and bought a pack of cigarettes. i handed histamine the keys and told him to drive. he complied. i climbed into the bed of my truck, isolating myself from my friends. shakily, i fumbled around with the pack of cigarettes until i managed to retrieve one. as i lit the cigarette, i leaned back against the cab of the truck and listened to the calming sound of the engine, trying to forget about caesar's screeching voice, but also feeling guilty for not trying to teach satyr and caesar that they don't get everything they want, especially when other people are paying for it... i felt like such a failure as a father, and i don't even have kids yet! so i drew my lightsaber and plunged it into my heart.


alternate, alternate, actually true version:
i didn't kill myself in the end.

TIFU by trying to buy pizza for my friends.