Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: TLDR: My ex shows almost 0 interest in his 4year old son despite me and my SO strongly encouraging him to be more active in the kid's life (at least more than 4 nights a month!). Every time my son comes back from his father's, he's a right "C. U. N.ext. T.uesday" for at least a week, and it's wrecking havoc on our lives. I want to tell my ex that he needs to be more involved or get the F\*\*\* out, Would doing so make me an asshole?

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

Backstory:

My ex, J, and I had only been dating for 3 months when we moved in together, and living together for 3 weeks before I fell pregnant. It was a big surprise for us as I had been informed I was infertile due to a medical issue. I told J there was absolutely no way I would be getting an abortion as I had always wanted to be a mother, and he was VERY displeased. He barely spoke to me for the next few days, but after that proceeded to support me through the pregnancy as would be expected. By the time our son had come along, I was devoted to J and thought he felt the same about me, but I was very wrong. Our relationship was very strained and we fought a lot. I had very bad post natal depression but did the best I could - J showed no interest. When our son was 3 months old, J was at work and asked me to email him something from his account, so I went to do so. Our son was teething (Very early!) and was quite upset so I had to hold him to keep him calm. As I went to click "Compose" in J's inbox, our son kicked my arm and sent the mouse flying across the screen to click "sent".

To say I was 'enlightened' was an understatement.

His Sent mail was filled with conversations with other women, nudes, details of hook ups, etc, as well as several emails from at least 3 different dating sites. I literally threw up when I saw that one email was from a dating site confirming his new advertisement - listed the day I was in labor with our son.

Our relationship proceeded to crash even further down hill, but I thought I loved this man so I was determined to make it work. He promised he would never cheat on me again, and I stupidly believed him. This continued at least 8 times over the next year, with me being a complete dumbass and believing him every single time. He still showed little to no interest in his son, aside from what he felt he was obligated to do. If I asked for him to watch his son one day a week so I could have some time to myself, he threw a massive fit saying he needs his own time too etc etc (Granted, I was a stay at home mum and spent literally every moment caring for our child).

After a while I decided to make an account on the dating sites he was a member of, and check out his profile. Every single one listed him as single with no children, and I was shocked. There is some more info I could go into here about one of the girls messaging me but I wont go that far off topic.

Anyway, after another few months I finally got sick of it. I had been offering him an open relationship the whole time and he had refused every time. I was not upset about him having sexual relationships with other people, if he wanted that I would have been fine with it - it was the constant lying to my face I couldn't stand. I finally got my shit together and decided this was a terrible environment for me to raise our child in (as we were fighting almost constantly), so I told him that he had to choose between them or us, and he chose them.

So my son and I moved into my mother's place that same day, and had a place of our own by the following week. My son was one and a half years old at this point. It took several weeks of talking with my ex to sort out custody, as he wanted to have no more than every second weekend. I thought that he should have his son every weekend, as a child that age grows quickly and a week is a really long time to be without a parent when you're a toddler. He refused, saying he needed time to hang out with his friends and doctors appointments etc.

Mind you, he could go before or after work, or just you know... take his son. But that was unacceptable (Even though I had to do the same every single day!!).

My son's first sentence was "I miss daddy."

Fast forward a few years and I'm in a new relationship with a wonderful man, and pregnant with his child. We decide to move in together, and the most cost-effective place near my SO's work just so happened to be in the same housing complex as my ex. It was awkward, but I stupidly thought this might give J more time with his son, as I was previously living half an hour away by drive and neither of us had a car.

Well, I was wrong. Very wrong.

The apartment my SO and I ended up getting was literally two streets away from J, and he had to walk past our house to and from the train station for work every single day. I encouraged J to come over, or to stop in and see his son for a few minutes after work, or hell, even wave to him in the window as he walked past every now and then, but he refused. By this point our son was 3, and utterly adored his dad. Every time he came back from his 2 nights at his dads, he was a right little asshole. He would be aggressive, throw things, scream, and proceed to beg to see his dad every ten minutes, non stop. It broke my heart and has made things incredibly difficult. I told J this, he did not respond. Any time I communicate with J about our son, maybe about 5% of the time he will actually ever respond. He will read it, and if I ask him about it in person he will give me a half arsed reply along the lines of "oh yeah I saw that" but still never actually respond. Despite this, I still never talked shit about J anywhere there was a chance my son could hear. If I wanted to say something, I would type it, as my son was not yet able to read. My son loves his dad, and I wanted to give him the chance to make up his own mind about who he is as a person.

After a few more months of this I got pissed. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or maybe I'm just a bitch, but I sent a major rant to J. I told him it was freeking ridiculous that he lived so close and continued to ignore his child, even so much as walking past us without saying hi when we were swimming in the communal pool or at the local shopping centre. I told him that what he was doing was not only causing us a hell of a lot of stress, but was breaking our son's heart, because every single time he said he wanted to see daddy I had to say no, and because I wasn't going to talk shit about him, I couldn't exactly give him a reason except "Daddy is busy". As per usual, J never replied. I didn't get to ask him about it in person that custody time as I was having a tough time with the pregnancy, but 3 weeks later he still had not made any effort to reply to the messages I had sent, so I sent another slightly more politely worded saying that I understand that I came across as aggressive but I just want the best for our son.

Another week later, he still hadn't replied. So I asked him about it in person.

"Oh, yeah, I saw that." He replied nervously, and then walked off before I had a chance to continue the conversation.

After even more probing he finally replied with saying that he would try to find some time around work to do that.

Keep in mind, I wasn't asking him to come over and spend hours with his son - all I wanted was a simple 5 minute phone call, once a week. Or a hug or hi five with his son on the way home from work occasionally. I let it go, and more months passed with absolutely nothing changing. I brought it up one more time and after a couple of weeks he replied saying "sorry work is hectic".

I get that some people work hard, but he's a programmer, has two girlfriends, and lives literally a minute walk away from us. I really don't see how he could have been too busy to spend 5 minutes with his son.

&amp;#x200B;

Current:

J has just moved away to the city, over an hour train ride away (Mind you, we've been looking at new places too but were trying to stay CLOSE for custody, but whatever). He still only sees his son every two weeks. Our son is 4 and a half now, and his aggression when coming home from his dads have gotten even worse. He now also throws things, breaks toys and objects, and hits his 1 year old baby sister, as well as biting other kids at school and a whole range of other major emotional outbursts. I've tried talking to him, getting him to express his emotions in other ways, etc, but it never works. It makes me feel like one hell of a shitty parent because during this time my son is a right asshat. After about a week or so though he calms back down and is a real dang sweetheart of a kid... for the next few days until he goes to his dads again. It's really exhausting. It's bad for our family and it's bad for the baby.

J just doesn't seem to understand, and by this point, I've really had enough. I want to tell him that he needs to call our son at LEAST once a week, or I am going to take full custody, because if he's not going to shape up then he can ship out, as I can't handle the strain this is putting on my life and my household. It really is making me feel like I Either need full custody or no custody, and I really don't want to lose my son (and I know my ex would never take him in full time anyway, he's too 'busy').

So, Would I Be the Asshole for demanding he contact our son at least once a week, and then taking full custody when he fails to do so?

&amp;#x200B;

EDIT: I have already offered taking full custody multiple times but he has refused, though he has not given any reason. I believe he may simply feel 'obligated' about it despite me being very casual about it and saying full custody is what I want.

&amp;#x200B;

**EDIT: UPDATE**

**(TLDR Version: I spoke to him, it went well, and he plans to video call several times a week).**

&amp;#x200B;

**Longer Version:**

I spoke

demanding full custody