Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: long time lurker, first time poster. had something happen today that i deemed tifu worthy, but i will allow you to be the judge of that. unlike most posts, this did indeed happen today. i am by no means a writer, so forgive my spelling and grammatical errors and join me on this tale of fuck up.

today i got out of work shortly after lunch. on my way home, i stopped at a gas station around the corner from home. i frequent this gas station roughly 4 to 5 times a week for gum, soda, etc. as usual i stop in the gas station to pick up a soda.

now i must admit, my one vice is caffiene. for some people it is alcohol, drugs, gambling, blowing dudes, for me it is caffiene. i fill up my 44 ounce polar pop (it's only 79 cents!!!!) and decide to get one to take home for my wife also. sweet, i know. i fill her up a 44 ounce polar pop of dr. pepper. i put them in once of those plastic bags they now have to carry the sodas. i grab a snack from the candy aisle and proceed to pay for my items.

i know, i know, shut up and get to the fuck up already. i set the sodas on top of my car so i can open the door. why i didn't just put my candy bar in my pocket so i could open the door with my free hand, i will never know. again, i have done this exact thing hundreds of time without consequence. until today. 

as i am attempting to open the car door, i glance up to the dr. pepper attempting to knock over the bag to escape. on top of that, this bastard was trying to take my soda with him! i was faced with a near life or death dilemma. i proceeded to save my soda while dr. pepper spills down the front of me and the side of my car.

to properly paint the picture, envision the scene in carrie, but just replace blood with dr. pepper. all 44 ounces was now on me and the car. much to my credit, i remained calm. no, this bastard dr. pepper would not get a response from me. as i sat sticky from my dr. pepper bath, i calmly picked up the empty soda cup. i put the lid back on the empty cup. i then looked around the parking lot, daring someone to make eye contact with me. my mind was made up, if someone was looking at me, i would look them in the eye and whip my dick out. to assert dominance, you know. the only person outside had their back to me, attempting to hide their laughter. i got in my car and drove home. 

i walked into the house, handed my wife her empty soda cup, and went straight to the shower.

for all of you lazy fucks, here you are.

TIFU by spilling a soda