Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: So on Saturday a friend texted in our group chat  made for everyone in a specific class. We're a pretty small group, so the chat isn't particularly active outside of class days and is largely memes/teasing/asking about homework etc. The friend asked if anyone would be attending a month or two away upcoming event related to the class' subject, and nobody responded for a day. I don't know if this is common, but usually I have my group chats muted and this was no exception. I didn't see the text until a day later, by when the friend had also texted "y'all fake" since nobody had responded. I didn't register it as an important question (the next class is the day right after this) and responded with the Ariana Grande "and what about it" meme.  Once they responded a few hours later, I mentioned something else to the group (an idea) and didn't send an explicit no until about 5 min. later. I had already sent "sorry :(" but i understand if that wasn't clear. No one else had said a thing. 

The person then complained that I had a phone so it shouldn't have been hard to just answer/ that they thought we were friends who could text. I apologized and explained that I had thought we had already talked about this, since an earlier in class conversation when I talked about not going. I also suggested that they text people individually because others probably have the chat muted like I do or thought it also wasn't addressing them. 

At this point, I was getting a little embarrassed / conscientious of the fuss being made in front of the group and texted the person individually, saying I didn't realize the question was urgent/important to them, that again I wasn't going, and that I only wanted to encourage the best methods of actually reaching people. It gets a little interesting here.

I failed to mention the -you have a phone- comment had actually been written/signed by this person's best friend. And this person's friend continued to text me on the original asker's phone when i texted them directly. Their friend said I had been rude and a smart ass (hence AITA). I said I didn't intend to be and intonation can be hard to interpret over text which may have caused problems. Their friend responded to me saying that i WAS rude, there was no interpreting of intonation, I carried it on unnecessarily, and just didn't answer the question when I could have, and that it's just annoying.

At this point I'm a little overwhelmed because I really didn't think there was much to be upset over at all. I just restated what I had said earlier, basically, about my answer to the question and how to get everyone else to respond. Their friend (at parts it's actually unclear who exactly is typing. based on history texting both, it's likely the question asker's friend wrote most if not all of the responses) said I missed the point.

I apologized again and said I hadn't meant to be rude, not perfect, hope it's not a big deal, etc.

To this, I was told I'm coming off as self righteous, like i didnt do anything wrong (i didnt believe i did so 😬), and that it was more upsetting I didn't know how to apologize because it doesn't come off as authentic but defensive.(with an addendum-- this is OA's friend btw)

I just apologized again, said I'd give space if necessary (have planned out to eat with a different lunch group a bit at least), and that I didn't have anything more to say, which ended it with an "ok."

IMO, the whole thing was a big reaction over a little question, especially considering the only other person who said anything in the GC was someone i specifically requested answer the question via individual text to try to defuse / bc I wasn't sure the person would do that themselves like i recommended.

I was especially uncomfortable having the person's friend handle this for them. I really have no idea what the person themselves actually thinks and in general find it weird/not ok for someone to be handling a friend's business like that.

But, AITA? I really don't want this drama to be a thing next week.

TL;DR: friend texts the group chat with non-urgent question, no one responds, friend calls everyone fake, still no one responds so I send a meme &amp; off-topic comment well before an actual response. friend's best friend texts me in place of them reprimanding my rudeness, doesn't believe apology.





responding late in the group chat