Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: I would like to preface this by saying I am an extremely picky eater. Everyone knows this, including my partner of 4 years. He LOVES to cook and I have a lot of hang ups about food and it definitely causes conflict. 

For a very long time, I wouldn’t eat anything except pasta and chicken. Since dating him, I’ve massively expanded my pallet. However, there are some things (especially vegetables) that freak me out on an existential level. It gives me a lot of anxiety and it makes me feel out of control. My solution is I just avoid those foods. My boyfriend and I set down together and created a list of red flag foods that I will not eat, period, and he does his best to cook around that. However, I recognize that my eating stuff is weird and I’m willing to fend for myself if need be and I /try/ not to limit the things he eats himself based on me.

Today, he made chicken fajitas which in general are an okay food for me. Bell peppers and onions don’t freak me out as much but I still eat around them even at restaurants. He had nicely plated some food for me which contained a lot of veggies. I (politely?) declined his premade plate and made my own with just chicken. I happily ate that. He was very emotional that I refused his cooking, while I feel like I ate exactly what he could expect of me. He made a very big deal that I ignored the plate in front of me to make my own. He said that it is just common courtesy to eat what is made for me as made, and I was being a jerk about it by refusing especially since he’d followed my list.

I tried to explain to him that I view eating as an extension of my bodily autonomy and I will not make myself uncomfortable to be polite. This is not just directed towards him, I do the same thing at any event that eating is expected. I could tell this really upset him as he puts a lot of work into his cooking and was very proud of it. This has happened several times before. He claims that not eating the food is a slap in the face, while I feel like I behaved appropriately and as expected.

Am I the asshole for not eating my SOs food?





not eating my SO's cooking