Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: not really today, but anyway, the story begins like this:

i was broke and hungry, and conveniently enough, my hometown was attempting to make the worlds largest single bowl of mussels. they got the record and were mighty happy with that (and so was guinness records). of course, they would give out the result for free, otherwise, there wouldn't be enough people to eat it all. as i was in a economic and metabolic limbo at the time (and a notorious big eater), i asked for two portions and said that the other one was for a friend (which, as you may have understood, was a lie). anyway, i was walking to the park in the nice and sunny weather and enjoying my delicious, free mussels. i finished my lovely meal, disposed of the leftovers and walked home and had a wank. 

later that evening, it turned out that poseidon was not happy with people who took double servings, and decided to punish me. i woke up around two in the night and felt feverish and a strong push from inside my bowels and down towards my poop-chute. i walked as fast as i could, sweating and naked to the restroom and thankfully made it in time. as i disposed of my refuse, i started feeling light-headed and started wiping. i then staggered like a massively drunken poop-smelling and sweating cripple and barely made it out the door before everything went white, then black. i woke up maybe half an hour later, with my numb chin on the stone floor. i rolled over to my back and took a finger slowly to my chin. i felt it go up about half an inch (1 cm-ish) into my skin and quickly took it out. after resting on the cold floor for a while, i got up and cleaned the wound and put on a band-aid. this was about half/three quarts a year ago and today, and i still have a little scar to remind me of the fierce powers of poseidon.

TIFU angering Poseidon.