Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: .. hard to come up with a title, so many things went wrong here, but to  

i work an extremely cushy graveyard shift it position, my duties are nonexistant if the ticket queue is empty, and due to several bad decisions by management, we've lost most of our overseas clientelle, leaving my job description essentially "sit and hold the keys and phone until 9 am." -- i've been at it for two years.

i also work completely alone, no one in the office building for the majority of my shift, so.. realizing that i was unsupervised, i  decided, over the past month to either spend part of my shift at home (i live 1.8 miles away.), or wth my various friends who lived within 3 miles of my office (close enough thta if something were to come in (all emails are forwarded to my personal phone, and tickets come as emails), i could get them there in minimal time.
fast forwarda couple weeks,and due to my horrible sleep-wake schedule (unrelated to the going out.) i fall asleep during my shift, get caught, forced to sign a letter of reprimand. the following day, i set up an appointment with a sleep clinic, a week later, i am diagnosed with shift work disorder and given nuvigil to help regulate it -- inform the cto, explain the implications, show proof that i didn't ignore the incident and sought resolution.

aout the same time,  i heard stories of the boss setting the cameras to record motion,and reviewing the tapes to catch people skipping out early, then someone got fired for consistantly doing so.

.. so, like a smart person, i listened, for the past two shifts, i've been 100% at the office.

tonight however, my girlfriend texted me a few hours before my shift and told me that once again, her roommate had decided to pay the cable bill last, and they had gotten their internet cut off. she works as a cam model, and obviously.. cannot work without the internet, so she asked to bring her computer to my house and just work from my house for a few nights.

i, being male, realize this pretty much means sex every day when i get home, so i agree, no big deal.... and that's where it went downhill.

on the way to the house, my coworker (who i would be relieving when i go in), texts me saying he got his hands on some killer weed, we detour to the office, hotbox in his car.. do so until my shift starts. at some point cto texts and asks me to check to make sure that a drive is still rebuilding next time i'm in the datacenter, i tell him i will, then proceed to ignore it, since i won't be over there until something appens causing me to, or i have to do a walkthrough.

so, i go in, make sure the que is clear (with my girlfriend borrowing my desk for a few minutes.), then i take her to the house (i have an hour for lunch that's automatically deducted from my check each shift, was just going to make lunch and call it my lunch hour), help her set up the computer. total of about 25 minutes pass since i received the original text i receive another asking if i've gotten a chance to take a look, the conversation goes roughly as follows:


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"no, your tone didn't seem urgent, so i was just going to wait until i did my next walkthrough, since i've had no reason to go over there. however, i will head to do so shortly, sorry."

"what have you been doing for the last 30 minutes then?"

"studying this rhe sys admin exam manual, going for my cert in a few weeks" (truth, it's what i'd been doing the previous nights, and would have been as soon as i got back anyhow.)

"... at the office?"

.. oh fuck, he checked the camera recording, saw me leave with my gf

"at a mcdonalds. took  an early lunch."

a bad lie, but i was pretty high, best i could do.

".. i don't like being lied to."

.. fuck, maybe he checked the gps on the company phone, not above big bother, semi-plausible hail-mary.

"the truth then, home. my new medication causes me to have panic attacks inside the office (also true, but managable.) for the first hour or so, doctor says it's likely due to my lack of stimulant tolerance, and should fade once i get used to the medication, so i've been taking an early lunch to sit at home an calm my self down.

that just seemed unprofessional, and i didn't want to seem even more than i already do, so i attempted to lie, i apologize, i will deal with it in the office from now on."

read. no response. four hours ago.

i may be ok, since the 30 minutes i was gone was covered by my lunch hour (albeit unprofessionally used). though, maybe it's the stimulants making me paranoid, but i'm realizing he can easily review my shifts from a week ago (before i got got the pills and decided to actually.. work), and see i was gone for a third of my shift consistantly (only camera covers th entry/exitway), at which point, understaffed or not, i am unemployed. i lose my job, i get swallowed by my debt, game over.

to make matters worse, my family, roommate and friends all hate my gf (.. don't understand how i  can date someone who does .. that for a living), and will very much use the fact that helping her was the cause of me losing my job will cause them to be vindictive and hold it over me, either complicating my relationship with her, or them, and in addition, having to figure out how to find future employment with.. this for a reason of termination.


and since it's  3 am, i'm probably not going to know where i stand until 8:30 when he comes in, so i'm stuck alone, to panic by myself in this office.

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tldr; was irresponsible, got caught, made amends, returned to being (moderately) responsible, got sidetracked by marijuana from a coworker while trying to help my gf out of a bind, slipped up, got caught again, pretty sure i am going to be unemployed in a few hours as a result

edit: second letter of reprimand, officially on probation, whichis company terms for "your shift sucks and it'll take us a few months tof ind a relpacement and train them, but we are definitely working on it." time to start throwing my resume in peoples faces and get out before i get let go

TIFU by helping my girlfriend