Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: finally, today i fucked up!

this happened a week ago. 
i had this strong urge to shit on my way home one day. i rushed into the toilet and my ass turned into a fucking gatling gun. after depleting my ammo, i got a little carried away with wiping, causing anal injury. it really hurt, but i quickly forgot about it.

then i went out with my friends to grab something to eat.
we went to this turkish restaurant and ordered some kebab. 
it had those spicy fucking peppers which were probably marinated in lucifer's boiling piss,
and i happily ate them along with my meal, completely forgetting about my hurt ass. those peppers were really hot.

i only remembered about it when i was on the toilet seat in my home.
there was no going back, and i let it go. 

can't hold it back anymore. 

i didn't feel the pain immediately, but when i did, it was horrendous. imagine being impaled by one of the crossbow bolts gordon freeman used in half-life. it can also be described as getting a rimjob from satan himself.  

i started to bleed from the ass, and the blood was purple. i don't even know why, but i didn't give a shit.
feeling the boiling shit seeping through the wounds in my poor, poor asshole was dreadful. i thought that washing it would stop the pain, but it was even worse.

this is the kind of thing you'd only wish for your worst enemy.


**

TIFU by giving birth to a lava golem