Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this didn't happen today, so i'm not sure if that violates the rules, but this is my fuck up from a few years ago. buckle in.

i was 18 years old at a house party during my first year of university. i was very inexperienced sexually. i was also fucking plastered on tequila. i sit down next to this girl who was by herself and start chatting about boring shit, what she's studying and what have you. i had pretty much never done this and was amazed at how receptive she was being. so logically i figured the next step was to makeout with her.

i basically fell into her forehead, both because i was bad at making out and the eleven or so shots of tequila. i remember it actually really hurt and probably hurt her too but i just played it off as casually as one could. hey guys, wouldn't it be cool if that was the end of the story? i bumped into a girl's forehead and that's it, story over, how cringey right? it's not.

after we've been making out for a bit i start noticing her lipstick is being smeared around her mouth a bit. now i haven't madeout with many girls so i just figure that's normal and continue. a little while later it is fucking everywhere. red lipstick on her mouth, neck, forehead, fucking ears somehow. so i'm really confused at this point and pull back so i can her her more clearly. then we both spoke at the same time.

i said "i think your lipstick is being smeared around your face a bit"

she said "your nose is bleeding a bit"

then we both just kinda watched eachother figure out what had happened. she reached up at touched her face and looked at her finger and her mouth opened in horror. i just couldn't move and watched her do this. then she got up and jogged to the bathroom, leaving me still sitting there, blood pouring down my face. i then notice it's on my shirt, pants and the carpet. i should mention now that i came with friends (which had since left) and the homeowner was a stranger to me.

so i have nothing to stop the blood except for my bare hand as i start running to find a bathroom. i find it but the door is closed and it's clearly occupied. i wait there for a couple minutes, holding my bloody nose, with people walking past me giving me weird looks, when i suddenly realize that it's obviously the girl i was making out with who is in there. i got terrified that she'd come out and just see me there, covered in blood and figured that was an interaction i wanted to avoid.

so i just stumble around this stranger's house, walking past hordes of people asking me if i'm okay and what happened. finally i find the kitchen and grab a piece of paper towel. now this is an emergency so i just roll a little piece up and shove it up my nose. i can then hear who i presume to be the homeowner, absolutely yelling "who the fuck did this to my carpet?" in the other room. i casually leave out the back door and make my way to the street. desperate to leave and never come back.

as i start walking away from the house, who else do i see but the girl i was making out with. i would have told you her name at this point but i never actually got it from her. lets call her mary. get it, like bloody mary. anyway, so i'm still really really drunk (and like 18 year old drunk) so i decide it's a good idea to approach mary and apologize to her.

so i go up to her and i'm like "hey, i'm really sorry that i...bled all over your face. it was an accident. obviously" not the most heartfelt shit.

she was super understanding. she was like "no, no it's fine! don't worry about it! well, i should be getting home."

now again, i wish the story ended here. but it does not. because instead of me leaving this situation relatively unscathed, my drunken moron brain was like "oh shit, this girl is still down. maybe i can continue pursuing her." and then i thought of the greatest pickup line ever.

and i actually said to her "oh, are you sure that you don't want more of my bodily fluids in your face?"

and she just stared at me. there was a long silence. then i felt movement in my nasal canal. i don't know how often you guys have put pieces of kleenex in your nose to stop bleeding, but there's a moment when you feel the barrier start to give way. so in my head i'm thinking "jesus no! the levy is breaking, my nose absolutely cannot bleed in this moment of silence." if i had just said my terrible pickup line, and then a small trickle of blood just starts coming down my face... the thought was unbearable.

so i take this enormous, ridiculous inhale of air through my nose. i looked very silly. but i breathed in so hard that i actually sucked the paper towel up through my nasal cavity into the back of my throat and i start choking. like seriously, dangerously choking. i am absolutely coughing up a storm.

she then says something that confused me. she said "you're not being fucking funny right now." then i realized. she thought i was making fun of her. my coughing, with my hand covering my face, looked like i was making a blowjob gesture. immediately after asking her if she wants my bodily fluids in her face. so i start coughing even more, desperately trying to get this thing unlodged so i can explain myself. and i coughed and coughed and coughed

...and i puked.

...on her.

i puked on her guys. i mean not directly on her, but in the form of residual splashes. it was gross tequila vomit too.

i just said "i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry" and left the other way.

in the end, i did get more of my bodily fluids on her face. well more her shoes really.

thanks for reading.

TIFU in a lot of ways. It wasn't lipstick.