Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Before we got married (4.5 years ago) we agreed to take care of each other’s parents when the time came. Unfortunately we did not discuss grandparents and great-grandparents, and that is what we are running into. 

We had our first kid almost a year ago, and I’ve struggled with some PPD. My husband works full time in a high stress job, and I work part time at an hourly job. 

My MIL watches our son two days a week for five-six hours a day. She does it for free. When she’s not watching our son, she’s taking care of her grandma (93) or helping FIL with his farm (they’re divorced but back together). She does have other seasonal work, though that is done for now. FIL has helped with some projects around the house and has even paid for some smaller projects completely (usually as a Christmas or anniversary gift). Both of FIL’s parents are alive (83 and 85) and are starting to have some problems. 

ALL of these people love my husband, are (mostly) kind to me, and absolutely adore my son. They do not want bad things for any of us, but none of them have boundaries with each other so that is what they expect of us. I also do not want to cut off ties with any of them- I just want healthy boundaries and some breathing room. 

Because of all the things they have done/do, my MIL and FIL expect and now somewhat rely on my husband to help with their respective parents/grandparent on a regular (though random) basis. This has greatly effected mine and husband’s relationship, which is already going through normal new parent ups and downs. 

If we didn’t have our son, I wouldn’t care as much, but now it’s taken my husband away from us on his days off, eaten up his time in the evening, and even used up some of my husband’s limited sick/vacation days- that I feel should be saved for sick baby days or other things like that. Also, my husband’s physical health has been negatively effected by this. 

If it was once a week or a couple times a month that we could plan around/prepare for, I’d be much less upset about it but his parents are so last minute and don’t communicate well so this is really not an option unless my husband really sticks to his guns about boundaries. To be fair, husband has gotten better from when we first got married, but since we’ve had our son and his grandparents health issues have increased, it’s gotten out of control again (or at least that’s how I feel)

Two weeks ago, we made a rule together that we will not answer calls/texts from 5:00PM-7:00PM because that’s “family time”. Husband gets home around 4:30 and baby goes to bed around 7:00, and we go to bed around 10:00, so there are plenty of other times to talk to whomever. 

About every other evening, a family member of his has called in this two-hour time period, and EVERY SINGLE TIME husband asks me if he can answer it. I HATE that I have to tell him no- so I don’t, but I do get mad about it and tell him that it hurts me that he can’t just be “ours” for two hours a day, and that I have to be the bad guy even though we both agreed to this. 

So not only are our evenings CONSTANTLY interrupted, all of his free time is being used up by grandparent appointments, or helping his parents with something or other, or being on the phone with one of them OFTEN (more than daily). There is NOT a day that goes by that is not in some way effected by his family. I am overwhelmed. 

This is just the shortened version of it, so there is more at play here but I’m really trying to stick to facts and be fair. 

It’s driving me crazy and really hurting me for me and my son. I just want to move far away from his family at this point. But I don’t want to be the wedge between my husband and his family in an unhealthy way, so If I’m in the wrong and not being sensitive enough or fair enough, please tell me! AITA??? 

getting mad and hurt at my husband for trying to be a good son/grandson/great grandson