Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i am a lifeguard (or "recreation assistant" as it is officially termed in the uk) and as part of the job i am obliged to supervise and run children's parties in a big, concrete sports hall. one of my least favourite variations on the standard rubbish, cheap party is roller-skating as it requires a large amount of set-up and i have to constantly monitor the kids to make sure that they are wearing their health and safety approved helmets lest they fall and smash their teeth out on the concrete, as i did when i was 11 at a **different** leisure centre. 

so whilst i'm finding the required skate sizes from the storeroom before the festivities ensue the first child (aged about eight) arrives. i hear him speaking to his young parents in what sounded like polish or another eastern european language and discover, after making polite conversation with the family, that none of them speak very good english. 

in due course i finish setting up for the party and end up watching  twenty-odd children of a similar age to the aforementioned lad whizzing around on rickety skates to the powerful voice of *shaggy* and his 2000 smash hit *"it wasn't me"* on the city council dance party cd which was already out of date when it was purchased some fifteen years ago. everything was going swimmingly and i even hoped that i might get through another shift without adding to my tally of three customer complaints in the year. but then disaster struck...

about fifty minutes into the hour long party i hear an almighty wail echo down the sports hall, chilling my blood in the veins. i spin around from unsticking the *shaggy* cd to find the young eastern european boy howling in pain and panic on the cold, hard floor. he had fallen and cut his arm; i knew i had to act fast to save the innocent child's life. at the sight of the (approx.) 2cm gash my five days of first aid training kicked into gear. running on instinct and adrenaline alone i sprinted to my first aid bag, tugging on a pair of latex gloves as i returned to the stricken boy. 
standard procedure when dealing with a "casualty" who is panicking is to attempt to calm them down and then treat once a better assessment of the seriousness of the condition has been attained; so naturally i opened with:
"what's your name?"
"*[redacted]*" came the muffled reply through a curtain of impassioned lachrymosity.
"are you allergic to plasters?" i foolishly enquired and was predictably answered by a puzzled look and gurgle of very tearful polish confusion. 
i decided to get straight to the point (health and safety at work act 1974 be damned, i get results my own damned way) and go in for an insightful diagnosis.
"where does it hurt the worst?"
"arm!" he choked out as his tears racked him anew.
dutifully i applied the plaster, however the child was still crying a shaking to the point where i really thought he might be entering a state of shock. in an effort to placate him, i asked; "do you want to go and sit with your daddy?"

through his constricted, pained throat he managed to squeak: "i haven't got a dad..." before being completely consumed by hysterical crying. obviously his *family* from earlier were carers of some kind. 

it was at this point that i became aware that every party guest and their parents had assembled around me during the exchange. i looked up into a wall of cold, disappointed and angry faces as the cd again looped at the chorus of *"i think we're alone now"* by *tiffany*.  

the party came to an end ten awkward and accusatory minutes later. never before have i been the subject of so many nasty glares or vaguely threatening polish exclamations and it is an experience i never want to repeat. oh and in case you were wondering: yes, i did get a fourth customer complaint...and a fifth.

TIFU by making an eight-year-old blurt out that he was from a tragically broken home.