Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so this happened yesterday during a physical at my pediatricians office. i'll preface this story by telling you i am 21 years old and should no longer be seeing a pediatrician, but thats neither here nor there. everything was going normally, until the tail end of the appointment. my overzealous thirty-something year old doctor, who evidently tries way too hard to relate too millennials, says "well physically you seem perfectly healthy, but it sounds like your lack of sleep and overconsumption of alcohol is exacerbating the severity of your adhd, don't worry though we've all been there" or some bullshit like that. he then glances over at a urine cup and goes, "you''ll probably want to do an std test right?" despite the fact that i've been exclusively hooking up with this girl for about two months, and got tested negative right before i started hooking up with her, i decided i couldn't let this dude think i wasn't slamming ass all over campus, so i obliged. 

now here is where the fuck up truly gets fucked. this beautiful nurse walks me to the bathroom, shows me where to deposit the cup when i'm done peeing, and informs me that contrary to popular belief you only need to fill the bottom of the cup. so as not to gross her out, i try to only pee a little bit. she leaves the room, and in a moment of sheer stupidity, standing nowhere near the toilette, i gently pinch my dick at the center of the shaft, so as not to let too much pee shoot into the cup and splash back at me, and start to slowly urinate. unbeknownst to me, i had to pee, like a lot. so when i get about as much pee in the cup as i felt would be to the insanely hot nurses liking, i pinch my dick off yet again, but much harder, to completely stop the flow, so i could walk to the toilette and continue peeing.

now i don't know how relatable this content is to the women of reddit, but men can in fact pinch their penises to stop peeing if it is necessary, it's not the most pleasant feeling, but it's gotten me out of a few tight spots before, and i figured it'd be nbd. wrong. upon pinching off mid piss, a shooting pain, as if i were pissing glass shoots through my cock. i quickly dart to the toilet and continue peeing. but unsurprisingly the pain was even worse once my stream resumed. amid whisper screaming "fuck, holy shit, what the fuck" i looking down at the bowl, i see this drop of pink murky colored urine and have the horrifying thought of, "that can't be my fucking piss.." it was. and as i'm wondering if it is blood mixed with my pee, my stream starts to slow, and the heavy flow of piss slowly dies, i see what i can only describe to you as the most horrifying sight a man can imagine. dark red blood dripping from my dick. and this persisted for about 6 of the most nightmarish seconds of my young life. i was pissing blood all over the seat. probably about a half a shots worth. 

i start to feel hot, and nauseas, and without warning i puke all over the toilet, and my sweatshirt, nearly missing my now blood stained phallus. i haphazardly wipe the toilet seat, run out of the bathroom to find a doctor and the only person in the hall is that perfect specimen of a nurse, doing some nurse type shit. paniced, i say "hey i was just in the bathroom and i was trying to do this weird thing where i pinched my penis so i didn't splash pee everywhere and when i stopped pinching i started peeing blood, and i freaked out and threw up a little bit." she is freaking out too which is not helping me relax, she rushes me back to the room i was in and tells me the doctor will be right in. "i think i'm gonna pass out" i tell her, so she tells me to take my puke covered sweatshirt off while she gets me some water. 

she leaves the room and i feel my head getting heavy, and my vision start to blur, and i proceed to faint sitting in one of the chairs,  in the room. i regain consciousness to a noxious chemical smell given off by the smelling salts this beautiful nurse has placed right under my nose. she smiles and tells me i'm alright, and then the hip relatable doctor comes in, slaps on some latex gloves, starts fiddling with my cock, and determines the bleeding was the result of the heavy buildup of pee i had stored from pinching my flow off halfway. he said once i unpinched the flow was too strong and hard and it likely tore the tissue in my urethra, and cut the hole on the head of my dick. yes the slit on the head of my dick was lengthened about a centimeter, from the skin tearing due to the ferocity of this built up piss. "you'll want to refrain from any sexual activity for at least a few days, including masturbating." he said way too calmly. fuck.

so he rubbed some vaseline shit on my poor dick, threw a cleanex on that shit, and told me i was good to go. i joked about how he'd have a good story to tell his co workers and he halfheartedly assured me he "wasn't a gossiper" (lying prick) "haha yeah ok dude, thanks for helping me out, sorry you had to massage my penis" i awkwardly blurted out before speed walking to my car, and lighting a cigarette with my incessantly shaking hands.

TIFU by employing the pinch technique while peeing at the Dr.'s