Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i work as an orderly in a hospital, i won't answer questions about location, time, or specifics because i don't want to be doxxed.

one of my duties as an orderly is to transport deceased patients to the morgue and load them into the fridge. now officially this job requires two orderlies to satisfy ohsa, because you need two people to safely slide the body from the bed onto the morgue slab.

however, during night shifts there is very few orderlies in the hospital and i was the only orderly in my department. officially you're supposed to find an orderly from another department to come help you. given the difficulty in organizing this, it kinda became unofficial policy to do it by yourself as there were no supervisors there at night to catch you.

well, i moved the bodies solo dozens of times with no incidents, but then one night i was moving a body between the bed and the slab, and the brakes suddenly failed on the bed when i was halfway. i tried to run around the other side and push the bed back, but i was too late, the body started slipping between the bed and the slab. panicking, i grabbed the body by the feet (the only part close enough to grab).

the body fell to the floor head first because i was holding the feet and made a sickening thwap. the body was still in the bag and my imagination was throwing pictures of the back of the patient's head being split open like a watermelon.

after i managed to calm down a bit, i unzipped the tap of the bag, an breathed a sigh of relief when i saw the head hadn't been split open. i felt the back of the skull with my fingers (gloved of course), and didn't feel and skull fractures. crisis averted, but i still felt like i was going to go to prison or something. this was so, so wrong. i had known the patient for months as she had been staying on our palliative ward, i had met her family.

now the problem was that the body was on the floor, and i need it back on the slab. i could call another orderly, but then i would have to admit that i dropped a body on the floor. in hindsight, that probably would have been the responsible option.

instead i remembered the patient's weight from her file, ~150 pounds. then i looked at the type of lift it was... kinda like a deadlift. functional strength. i got this. i paced a bit, and shook out my arms, psyching myself up. taking a handful of the bodybag in each hand i deadlifted that body up onto the slab and slid it into the fridge.

should i have reported the incident? probably, but i was too scared, i was still fairly new at that point.

the next day my boss calls me in and says there was a problem with one of the bodies i'd signed off on. bricks shat.

turns out that in my haste i had slid the body in head first instead of feet first. he saw how freaked out i was and tried to comfort me. "don't worry, everyone makes mistakes."

 

edit: moral of the story; don't let the bodies hit the floor.

TIFU by deadlifting a corpse