Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: like most of these, this wasn't today.  
but it's not sex related.  
so i've got that going for me, which is nice.  
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not a throwaway, because fuck it.      
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i was in a military school when i was high school and i had a friend that would sneak weed in, anytime he'd go home on leave.  
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*a little bit of a back story*  
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it had been a while since i had smoked, so i knew i had clean pee at the moment. so, before i started smoking and while my piss was still clean, i pissed in a cup and poured it into a visine bottle *just in case* they wanted to drug test me. (remember this *genius* idea)    
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well, it was "lights out" at 10 pm. the c.o. would usually do patrol at 10:15, 10:30, and again at 11. he was pretty routine. me and my friend had a plan to go smoke at 11:15, just a little bit after his last round of the barracks. i went and met my friend at his room (we were in the same hall, just a few doors down), and we snuck out the fire escape and smoked on the stairs. while we're smoking we see another c.o. from another company outside walking towards our barracks so we run inside.  
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as i make it through the door, there i find friend #2 standing right inside saying, "i figured that was yall going outside to smoke! why didn't you invite me!?"
in a whispered voice i replied, "go back to your room someone is coming up!" he tells me, "you better get some eye drops cause your eyes are really red" and he then runs back to his room.  
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what he said just kept replaying in my head,  
*"you better get some eyedrops..."*  
*"you better get some eyedrops..."*  
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when i get in my room, (mind you, no lights are on due to my sneakiness) i run to my medicine cabinet and open the mirror and put visine in both eyes. rushed and jumped in bed, and feeling like the slickest motherfucker cause i made it safe in bed.  
all of a sudden, i was greeted with the most excruciating pain to my eyeballs. holy shit. the burn was unbearable. i jumped out of bed to run my melting eyeballs in some cool water under the faucet in my room. then, i realize....that **wasn't** visine.  
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instantly, i start panicking and start having all kinds of crazy thoughts go through my mind.  
*"that was my piss. i just put piss in my fucking eyeballs!"*  
*"im gonna go blind for sure."*  
*"i'm gonna be known as johnny pisseyes."*  
*"i'm never gonna hear the end of this."*    
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after about fifteen minutes, my eyes finally stopped burning. and on top of that, no c.o. ever even walked by to do rounds. apparently he was just walking past the barracks.  
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edit: formatting  
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edit 2: to clear up the visine mixup.  
i put it in a visine bottle so it'd be small enough to stick in my waistband, sock, etc. to hide it.   
they'd do what they call "shakedowns" and search your whole room. it could be a random one to scare people, or because they got a tip. but you'd come back to your room and find everything upside down and thrown around.  
so with my "genius logic" a bottle of visine wouldn't look suspicious where it's supposed to be (as long as they didn't notice it wasn't clear with a quick glance) in a medicine cabinet. and, of course, i ended up grabbing the wrong one.

TIFU by smoking at military school