Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this shit happened saturday night at roughly 9:30 pm. 

my friends and i go to the ihop to indulge in the pancakes and  breakfast. everyone is talking about life and merriment as we eagerly waited for our food to arrive. everyone got pancakes. i got chicken and waffles. 

"would you like honey mustard?", said the waitress to me.

"uhhh, sure.", i said.

big mistake. the next thirty minutes were a mixture a foodgasmic taste experiences as well as grave regret. the syrup, soda and honey mustard were starting to get to me. everyone was done eating and already paying at the front counter.

"hold on guys, i gotta go to the bathroom.", i said while clenching my stomach and sphincter  in pain.

"k. try not shit all over the floor like you did at summer camp.", said friend 4.

"that wasn"t even me!"

i proceeded to the bathroom which to my surprise, had no one inside. what was an alleged code brown, was soon to be a code green. or more like code yellowish-brown. coughing and gagging my brains out and yet nothing came out. feeling like i had beaten the ihop, i left the stall and went to pay my bill.

we get into my car (we all carpooled there) but something was wrong. horribly, horribly wrong.

it was coming.

*rising stomach gurgle*

"oh fuck"

*i get out of the drivers seat and run to a light post*

*vomits on said light post"

"aww, what the fuck, man!?", said friend 1.

"i'm sorry, it was probably too much honey mustard.", i replied.

"do you want me to drive?", said friend 2 (the non-asshole with substantial medical knowledge).

"yeah, i'm not gonna make it on this one...", i moaned.

we get about maybe fiddy yards away from the ihop when i start to vomit again. hard. 

blllllleeeeeuuugggghhhhhhh

the car stopped next to us is a four remembered middle eastern looking family. all of them filled with the faces of disgust. fucking priceless.

*collective duuuuudddesss from friends in my car*

"do i need to pull over?", said friend 2.

"no, no, i'm fine", i said obviously not fine.

thank god we were at a stoplight.

the light turns green and we start moving again.

"i'm going to try to drive slowly, okay?", said friend 2.

"alright, i trust you.", i reluctantly cried.

maybe not even twenty seconds after the stoplight, i start vomiting again. hard.

blllllleeeeeuuugggghhhhhhh

none of it hits the ground. just the side of my car.

*fast forward to a few more stoplights of this happening*

we stop at yet another stoplight with me still feeling gurgley. this time, the car next to us is filled with african american individuals that may have been juniors in high school or freshman in college. i am very bad at guessing ages.

*loud as fuck gurgle*

"oh god."

*stick head out of window and projectile vomit all over the car next to us*

yep.

you heard right folks.

all over their 4-door who-gives-a-fuck standard.

everyone in the vomited car, aren't disgusted, just surprised. the mix of facial expressions ranged from "eeewwww" to "da fuuuuhhhh?"

i smiled and promptly apologized for the vomit to which the driver rolled down his window and replied "ayo, you need to turn down, bruh!".

tfw i believe him.

more vomiting out of the window onto the side of my car later ensued after that stoplight and continued until we arrived at friend 3's house. 

we got out of my car and saw the damage. 

it.

was.

everywhere.

dried up from wind resistance vomit caked in all across the right side if my car.

one of the poor bastards on that side came out that way and got a nice handful of chicken and waffles from the door handle.

after hardy laughter, we played basketball, watched some kind of gay (i mean actually gay) movie about singing and dreams with friend 3's sister, and left to go home.

all of the ride home, i had wondered what had made me sick. then it hit me. the honey mustard. i basically drank the whole bowl that the waitress brought me. i eventually arrived home at around 1 am. the perfect time for masturbation.

don't fuck around with honey mustard, kids. it may taste good but it can and will, fuck you up if drunken without moderation.



 


edit: for those who don"t believe me http://imgur.com/b4jfb5g

TIFU by eating IHOP