Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so i just want to preface this whole thing by saying fuck canada post. i was home all god damn morning and their delivery still somehow failed. so i had to haul my sore ass (gaha, foreshadowing) all the way to the post office to pick up my god damn dildo of doom.


so i've never owned a dildo before. figured i'd buy one with some left over cash i had on a prepaid credit card i got for christmas. how couldn't i - they're so cheap! $20 for a glorious 8-inch silicone rod of pleasure! what a bargain. it even has a suction cup! and it comes in blue! the thing practically ordered itself.

anyway, so after the somehow-still-embarassing-even-though-nobody-knew-my-secret walk home from the post office with my package in hand, i anxiously unwrap this thing in the bathroom. bathrooms have showers, showers are hard to get messy. perfect place to try out carl. i've already named him at this point.

so i take it out of the box and admire it for a second before placing it down, suction cup first, on the nearest available surface, which so happens to be toilet tank cover. you guys know what i'm talking about, right? the ceramic cover that goes on the tank behind the toilet. the big, heavy, detachable part of the toilet. stop me if you already know what's going to happen.

so after undressing and turning on the shower i try to pick up the dildo. unbeknownst to me it's suction cup had the adhesive power of nuclear grade duct tape, and the fucking toilet tank lid came along for the ride. the entire god damn thing lifted up a good foot or so from where it should be. my initial reaction was to move my feet as far away from that thing's potential drop zone as possible, aaaand then the dildo's titanic grip let go and the cover fell, breaking both itself and the toilet bowl where it happened to land.

damn you, carl.

TIFU by breaking the toilet with my new dildo.