Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i'm a student at a boarding school, which is nice because it gives me a lot of time to kill with my friends ( [i've talked about some of my exploits on this sub before](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/33fih7/tifu_by_slapping_someone_with_their_own_hand_so/) ). the problem with killing time, though, is that it inevitably leads to procrastination. the problem with procrastination, as we all know, is that it inevitably leads to killing grandmas. 

[i didn't actually kill my grandma.](http://i.imgur.com/gtlyceq.png)

to make a simple, straightforward, and short story long, i had to write a and present speech about a special occasion for my public speaking class. there were a few options: i could have written a toast, an award acceptance, a tribute, a best man's speech, or any number of things. for some reason, though, i decided to sign up for a eulogy. 

the problem was, i had nobody to eulogize. unfortunately--i mean, unfortunately for my present circumstances--nobody around me had died recently. because of that, i was stuck in the awkward position of wishing doom upon my relatives and close friends for the sake of my grades.

i originally had two weeks to write said speech, but i decided instead to spend my time doing teenager stuff with my teenager friends. bein' vagrants, smokin' marriage iguanas, breakin' and enterin', you know the drill. honestly, though, it was less pure procrastination than it was patience: i was waiting for inspiration to strike me, or for a fast-moving vehicle to strike one of my loved ones so i could eulogize the frickfrack out of them.

anyway, i soon came to the end of the two weeks; regrettably, none of my kin had kicked the bucket. it was the night before the speech, and i still didn't have a word of writing on the page or a single dead relative. curse my clan for being so durable!

i knew what i had to do. i had to kill my grandma.

in other words i had to convince everyone in my class, through a heart-wrenching eulogy of titanic proportions, that my grandma had in fact shuffled off this mortal coil. 

with the energy that only desperation and chronic fatigue can produce, i wrote the everloving *fuck* out of that speech. that speech got rekt, wasted, made, pwned, and whatever other slang terms kids are using these days. it was the best speech i had ever written, hands down. it was also the only speech i had ever written.

when i got up the next day to give my speech, it was as if i had killed my grandma in front of the audience. people were sobbing, clutching at their desks as if their hearts had been pulled out, coughing up blood, all that good stuff. so what if the quiver of my lip and quaver of my voice had more to do with caffeine than with sadness? so what if my eyes were red and puffy from staring at a computer and not from crying? 

i had convinced them, and it only took almost literally selling my soul.

TIFU by Killing my Grandma: