Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this actually happened today, so i guess i get bonus tifu points!

 well, for some background first: i'm a 17 year old guy, currently in high school. iv'e had a girlfriend for almost 2 months and today we decided to go ahead and have some fun. i'm a virgin, she's not. had, a condom , felt pretty relaxed about the whole situation, all that jazz. overall, i thought stuff was gonna go okay.

 alright, so i go to her place, we get in bed, start making out, i get a hard-on from the start of it. stuff was going pretty well, but slow as fuck. it took me like 30 minutes to see her bra. fast forward a little, after about one hour and 30 minutes im only in my boxers, she's in her panties.

 after having my dick up for almost 2 hours, my heart sinks when i notice i went soft, at this exact time she wants to get to fucking. i try to play it cool, go on with some more foreplay, try to stealthily rub it, but it's dead. it's fucking dead, it feels *numb* by now, im barely even feeling it when she goes for a grab! i try to go call for a bathroom break, i take a piss, try to mess around with it a bit more, but still nothing.

 i go back to her room, and there she is, with a ripped condom wrapper in her mouth. good luck playing pool with this rope sweetheart! before  i can even say anything she pulls down my boxers, and boom, no boner, only tiny bald mole in here. she tries to grab it, suck it, whatever man, i don't even feel her down there anymore.

 seeing as i won't get anything done, i try to cut my losses and go for some fingering. i get pretty turned on by moans, so by some sort of miracle i get back up. she notices and goes in for a blowjob. at this point i should mention iv'e been standing around naked for almost an hour and its pretty cold in here. i realize im actually shivering. i start shivering even harder to the point where im basically having a seizure, dick still in her mouth. during my little seizure i manage to lose it again. with my cock *inside her goddamn throat*. i don't even wanna know what it's like to deepthroat a guy and feel his dick retracting...

  i decide go back in for some more fingering, this time stuff gets pretty heated, i actually raise the fallen soldier again, and as i take my hand out to grab the condom before its too late... period blood. motherfucking period blood on my fingers. she notices, and just kinda starts sobbing , and just ran away to the bathroom, locked the door behind her.  

 "well, no fuck" is all i could mumble as i stood there, butt naked with period blood on my hand and my girlfriend crying in the bathroom.

 


 **edit**: apparently my gf browses reddit every now and then. that seems like a pretty bad thing right now, but it makes this whole thing even funnier.

**second edit**: this shit blew up. i don't know which one of you crazy motherfuckers glided me, but damn i feel like i just got a medal for not getting it up. and it's awesome!

Today i fucked up by having 2 hours+ of foreplay before trying to lose my virginity.