Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: On mobile, sorry about any formatting issues.  

So, one year ago I had to have emergency surgery and ended up with a colostomy bag.   Two more surgeries later and it's still here.  My husband (Dear Husband) has been somewhat decent about helping with household and childcare.  It's been a struggle.

I'm about a month from having reversal surgery and got bad news about my heart.  Turns out I need to have an Angiogram next week, there are blockages in my arteries, and my reversal surgery might not happen like we thought.  

Over this last year I have tried to have sex, not very often though.  It's been painful and is, frankly, very embarrassing for me because of the colostomy bag.  My DH says it (the bag) doesn't bother him.  Well, it bothers me a lot.  I have been very willing to   give him oral instead.  Please understand that oral is something that he has almost preferred over regular sex over the last 15 years.  

Lately (last month or so) he has been very pushy about having sex.  He grabs my breasts and tries to get me to have sex.  Between my not feeling up to it, because of the bag, the pain, and the emotional stress of the heart issues and testing I've been through recently I just have no interest in doing it.  

Last night he tried again, said I could "just lay there", and then got pissed and told me he was going to go out tonight (to get drunk).  I feel bad and I know I need to have intimacy with him for our relationship's health.  I have decided to offer oral today and make him a nice breakfast to try to show that I care about him and his needs.   But I don't want sex.  Just the thought of it makes me feel like curling up in a ball and crying.  I have very low energy and have to do all the housework and care for our 2 kids, those things take my available energy and leave me sapped by the end of the day.


AITA for not having sex with him?  Should I be doing more to make him feel loved?  I feel terrible about making him feel unwanted, and I don't want this to ruin our 15 year marriage.  Help! 

not having sex with my husband