Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Long time lurker, first time poster, etc.

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For a bit of background, my high school requires that all students complete a year long senior thesis research project as part of their advanced academic program. I ended up helping out with some astronomy research at a local college over the summer of 2018 (mostly data processing), and the professor was kind enough to let me use the preliminary data for my thesis. Most students present and defend their projects before the end of the calendar year, but due to some scheduling issues mine got pushed back to just last week. I was told I did extremely well and it felt amazing to finally finish a year long project.

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My biological mother is an alcoholic, albeit a recovering one, and I've tried to keep her distant from school related events (talent shows, open houses, etc.) ever since she showed up very obviously drunk to a meeting with my guidance counselor my freshman year. I'll spare everyone the details but she's been sober on and off and in and out of A.A. since then, but officially hit one year of sobriety on December 17th for the first time in as long as I can reasonably remember.

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I hadn't planned to even tell her about my defense at all, but accidentally let it slip about two weeks before it was scheduled. We argued about it back and forth over lunch, one of my biggest worries being that my dad's other ex wife, who has a restraining order against my mother (long story) was planning on being there, and I didn't want them to get into a technically illegal pissing contest on a day that I felt should be about me and my accomplishments. And while I understand that she is a year sober and has finally been able to keep a steady job, I automatically get very worried at even the notion of her being involved in my academic life, which I take very seriously.

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I think the thing that really got under my skin was that during our fight, after I mentioned that dad's ex wife would probably be there, she said something along the lines of "Well, I would hope your *biological* parents would take precedent," because my former stepmother would consistently go out of her way for me during and after her marriage to my father, while my mother was too hungover or on her way to being too hungover to do jack shit. for the past 8 or 9 years since she split from my dad. She also remarried a man whom I despised, who turned out to be a bipolar heroin addict, and then lied to me about being divorced from him, which I found out on Christmas Day.

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Her issues aside, I'm more or less at the point where I do want to have a relationship with her going forward. And to my mother's credit, she did drive me a lot to and from the research lab, as well as give me money to buy lunch while I was there. She's been going to therapy, staying on her medications, and attending A.A. meetings. I can tell she's trying very hard to be there for me and my younger sister, but I still feel every time I try to discuss things with her she doesn't understand that her problems have affected people besides herself.

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So I could use some unbiased opinions here: should I have been the bigger person and put my best foot forward? Am I "unfairly jerking her around" and "punishing her", as she claims? Should I have invited her as a sign of good faith?

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tl;dr is I didn't want my mother to come to my thesis defense due to an unpleasant history with her being an alcoholic and things still being tense between us, she thinks I am being unfair and ignoring her strides towards recovery despite claiming I want a relationship with her, am I the asshole?

not letting my mother attend my thesis defense