Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: As a preface, I’m not sure if this would even qualify, since I’m pretty sure I already am an asshole. I’m looking for an objective set of eyes on the situation. Also, sorry for the formatting, I’m on mobile. 

We’ll refer to this person as Sam to keep genders/identities as hidden as possible. 

So, I’ve had a problem with Sam, but I can’t remove him/her from my life because he/she is my SO’s cousin, and they’ve been close since birth. 

The story begins here: when my SO and I began our relationship, Sam was jealous that SO was in a relationship and he/she wasn’t, so he/she badmouthed me to my SO all of the time. Sam turned out to be so effective at turning my SO against me that we ended up breaking up for about a year. 

Then, during junior year prom (I’m a whiny teen, as it turns out), Sam was again jealous because the person that he/she wanted to go with went with someone else, and was in a general bad mood. My SO and I were talking again, and as I tried to make my way over to SO to dance, Sam got in my way over and over so I couldn’t. Then, another person went and danced with my SO. I was upset the rest of the night. 

However, since then, I’ve reconnected with my SO and we have been dating for a while, and Sam has found him/herself a SO. Thus, I’ve had to spend most of this year of school around Sam+SO. 

This exposure has lead to nothing but constant roast sessions between myself and Sam; Sam will call me scrawny while I will rip on Sam for the stupid things that he/she says. 

This all culminates in the study session in the library today. Sam had been laughing at me for something that he/she wouldn’t even tell me about, and I was quite annoyed about it. So, my asshole move reared its head. I took a book about fitness off of the shelf and told Sam that he/she should read through it. Keep in mind, Sam certainly isn’t a fat or anything like that, Sam is just slightly on the larger side. Major dick move, I get it. 

Then, as I was trying to fall asleep Sam’s SO decides to text me, demonstrating how upset he/she is, lambasting my morals, threatening to kick my ass, and demanding an apology. 

I apologized for what I said, but the entire conversation was tinged by the impression that Sam’s SO believes that he/she did nothing wrong and I was the criminal, which I couldn’t take. I believe that if Sam would insult me about my body (being scrawny), Sam should be able to take an insult about his/hers. 


I get it, Sam is probably self-conscious about his/her body, but I just can’t understand how someone could think that my insult was completely unprompted and “over the line”. Sam has no right at all to assume that it’s okay to make fun of my scrawniness, and shouldn’t be surprised when he/she gets a taste of his/her own medicine. 

So the question is, am I the only asshole in this situation, are we both, or are we just a bunch of whiny teenagers still trying to figure out life?

making an insulting joke to somebody I resent