Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: xpost-/r/brightonvapeclub

like most tifus, this didn't happen recently, but a few years back, around late 2013. but before we start i want to say one thing: as crazy as this sounds, **this actually happened.**

so, as many of you in jewish families know, a barmitzvah is a pretty big deal. being that i myself never got to have a real one as a kid (financial issues- father was a gambler) i was of course flattered when my (now ex) wifes sister invited me to help plan her sons barmitzvah- particularily the entertainment.

at first, i was absolutely dumbfounded. i had no idea what i was in for and aside from some djs on craigslist i had no leads.

until i found jonah.

so there i was, sitting in a mcdonald's parking lot after work, like usual, pounding mcdoubles in my car. suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, i saw it. jonah's hit comedy song- [it's too damn big.](https://reddit.com) 

now i know, this sounds absolutely ridiculous- but at the time, i honestly had no idea that there was any sexual implications with the song. i was too busy staring at what i thought was going to be the next eric clapton. deep in my mind i think i knew what it was about, but i was honestly so in to the song and wanted to see it at my nephews big day that my mind rationalized it as his big body/big belly (which i could and still can relate too unfortunately). 

after getting in touch with jonahs agent, i was actually able to make contact with the man himself. i told him it was for a huge party, but he said he didn't do live shows, only acting gigs. well, i wanted it so bad i ended up offering an offer he couldn't resist- 2 grand.

of course, he asked for details on what he wanted me to do. and of course, i responded with

"i want it all."

flash forward a few weeks later. its showtime and the party was going great. i got the text from jonah that he was outside, and i eagerly let him into the lobby. his clothing was quite inconspicuous- just a t shirt and some track pants. i introduced him to my reluctant family, reassuring them that he was the real deal, and then ushered him behind the curtain where he was going to perform. i gave him a list of songs (most notably gangnam style and of course- its too damn big). 

i set next to my nephew and told him and his friends that this guy is great. that he was going to love him. when the beat started blasting for it's too damn big, my heart started going just as fast. i could physically feel my hands shaking. deep down, i knew i was very attracted to jonah. but what came through those velvet curtains was a whole different beast.

you see, jonah had torn his trackpants off, and was instead wearing his signature skin tight [bike shorts.](https://comedycentral.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/tds/videos/season_15/15030/ds_15030_03_1920x1080.jpg?quality=0.85&width=664&height=374&crop=true) it was at that moment that i knew exactly what the song was about. 

i swear, i could see in jonahs eyes the moment he realized this wasnt an actual party- but one full of 13 year olds. however, it was too late. he pushed through, and if i didnt get the message of the song then, him pointing at his appendage repeatedly during the chorus and air humping certainly made it clear. 

it was only about a minute in when the sons dad- my very own brother in law- had to step in. he turned off the music and very loudly told jonah to get the fuck out.

jonah said that he wasnt leaving without his check. i hastily went up on stage, with everyone watching me, and ushered jonah backstage. i quickly gave him his check and almost sprinted out the door myself until my inlaws and my very own (now ex) wife said "stop. you cant run from this." 

ill spare you guys the nitty gritty details, but this wound up being the start of a very nasty divorce. just wanted to get this off my chest guys... dont blow it like i did.

TIFU by inviting Jonah Falcon (owner of the worlds largest penis) to my nephews barmitzvah