Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: if i'm at home, to avoid the nasty feeling of toilet water splashing up on to my buttocks, i will put my hand between my legs and catch my poo as it comes out, then gently just place it in the water. i can then just go and wash my hands straight away, generally without anyone seeing it. yesterday my mum caught me walking from the toilet to the bathroom so i had to quickly stash my dirtied hand in my pocket, which had contained a tissue. there was no issue, mum didn't suspect a thing. i then made my way to the bathroom and washed my hand, got away with the perfect crime.

that is, until dinner. we had a large family gathering around to celebrate my dad getting a promotion. he works at a cheese factory and had moved from the soft cheese division to hard cheese. we were all enjoying a few glasses of wine and some cheese platters that dad had gotten on the cheap and listened intently as he explained the varieties and the process as to how each cheese was made. i remember sitting at the table and had began to ask him about the history of cheddar when my chronic hayfever began to kick in and a great sneeze had began to build in my schnoz. luckily i had armed myself with my trusty tissue and so, mid-question, with the eyes of my entire extended family (my aunt and uncle had even flown over from norway) gazed upon me, i took the tissue from my pocket and blew my nose, wiping up the excess mucous with a gentle wipe across the top of my lip. i had not looked down at the tissue and had completely forgotten about that little incident with mother earlier, and so i placed it back in my pocket and continued on with my inquiry in to cheddar. my mother, who was sitting next to me at the dinner table, then told me that i had something on my face, and proceeded to lick her thumb and rub it off. "that just made it worse" she said, taking another fatal lick of her thumb. i'll never forget the expression on her face as her thumb touched her tongue that second time, completely covered in my poo. my uncle sven interjected from across the table - 'what's that smell?' while my mother excused herself from the table to go to the toilet. my dad, who was actually the one who introduced the habit of catching your poo to me, became aware as to what was going on and, being the great man that he is, took the fall for it and claimed he had just dropped an absolute ripper, many laughs were had around the table and i took this opportunity to go to the kitchen and clean myself up, eliminating the smell and throwing the dirty tissue in to the bin. 

i returned to the table, where my dad had now began to explain the role change at work, telling us how different it was going from soft-cheese to hard-cheese and that it's basically a whole new ball game. my mum rejoined the table without a fuss being made and simply smiled as she sat down to her seat.
'you see, soft cheese is basically child's play. the amount of work that goes in to producing a brie is just incomparable to that of a swiss cheese for example'
'ah choo!' my mum had sneezed. she proceeded to nonchalantly pull out a tissue from her pocket and wipe her dripping nose. 
'you've got something on your face my dear' uncle sven exclaimed. 
'let me get it for you' my little sister mia said, licking her thumb and rubbing the blemish that sat above my mum's lip.

TIFU by rubbing poo on my face [NSFW?]