Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so i've been on something of a dry spell the past 84 months. the lack of action had definitely been getting to me-i'd started pacing around like a caged animal-so tonight one of my amorous female friends got me the hookup with her open relationship girlfriend. the girlfriend is just super in to fucking and is pretty open about it (one of those woo magic, healing crystal, new age trust fund vegan hippy chicks). she gets some coconut oil and is apparently down for the d. while i'm pretty sure she's a lesbian, she said she identified as pansexual. 

so i go down to the local stop-n-rob, pick myself up a pack of monster condoms to put on my magnum dong, do a few push-ups, mix up some preworkout (3 scoops), and get ready for the release. 

so fast forward 30-45 minutes and we're going at it like animals. i am getting everything out of this i can because lord knows if i'll ever get laid again. i'm going deep on every thrust, making sure to really drive it in like i'm hitting a pr deadlift and she makes a noise like she's in pain, but we keep going. 2 thrusts later and she's curled up in to a ball holding her stomach. 

so after i figured out i hadn't actually just rammed her cervix with the aforementioned magnum dong, i call 911 because i now have a curled up naked lesbian crying on my bed who says she can't move. 

so i cover her up best i can so she's not totally naked when the ambulance gets there, i fist bump the male paramedics, we travel to the hospital, and it turns out there's a fracture on the right side of her pelvis. 

now whether or not i totally caused it is up for debate and i'm sure her low iron vegan diet isn't helping with bone density, but luckily she's got a decent trust fund and insurance so she's not totally screwed. 

on the other hand, i'm either never getting laid again or the legend of the thundercock will spread and my sex life will improve drastically.

TIFU by breaking a lesbian's hip