Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: kind of a cock block/sex fail story. 

highschool grad night and my friend andreas (big mexican guy) is staying at the resort with his girlfriend sam (little half asian half canadian chick) that we had our graduation at. my best friend and crush katie who had graduated the year before me and was my grad date was staying in the same room as them (2 bedroom hotel room) 

and just for reference i'm a 6 foot 3 white guy. 

we get to the room and the drinking starts. andreas demolishes the edge of a table trying to show me how to pop a bottle cap by smashing the edge of the cap on the table. it. doesn't. fucking. work. 

andreas is getting a little rambunctious and sam wants to talk to katie, who's a ridiculous lightweight, so i haul andreas out for a walk on the resorts golf course, and we bring the bottle of jack daniels with us. he proceeds to chug the entire bottle of jack in the parking lot, hands me a condom, says "get sum" and we go back to the hotel room. (note that katie is a 5 foot 6 bombshell with more sail than mast, rad personality, and the subject of most of the guys fantasies) 

once inside, sam tackles andreas onto their bed, and they immediately start going at it. i'm leaning against the wall with a beer in my hand (not watching the interracial love-fest) and katie walks up to me, takes my beer, chugs it, jumps on me and grabs me by the back of the head and starts wildly making out with me. i'm trying to play it cool and do this well, but i'm drunk to the point of my limbs feeling like rubber, and i've got a voice in my going "aaaaaaaaaah it's happening" freaking out over my highschool crush. all this while trying my best to ignore the wild sex grunts and moans coming from the bed 10 feet to my left

so we fall onto the floor. there's a lot of heated making out and grinding, when we finally get into a position that i can eat her out in, i make her cum once, and then she literally passes the fuck out. 

so i think to myself "she's naked and asleep on the floor. i should get her in the bed that's 3 feet away from me. i proceed to drop her several times on the way to the bed, but i get her in and then pass out myself in the bed. 

i wake up second, because katie is discreetly trying to re dress herself in the bed, i look her dead in the eye and say "you look like i feel" and she punches me in the shoulder. im the first who has to leave, so i head out. i receive a text later that day "dude where the fuck did all these bruises come from?" 

3 years later, we hardly talk. find out she had a serious crush on me in highschool, but she's been dating someone for about a year and we live about an hour apart. 

 

edit: major detail mess up: it was not a 2 bedroom hotel room. it was a 2 bed room. as in 2 queen size beds in 1 room with a couple feet between them. let that sink in.

TIFU by failing at sex with my high-school crush and dream girl.