Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: my first tifu, but not my first fu. 

i want to say this was 2 weeks ago but i got a notification that it was my first cake day so i decided i should hurry up and share it today with all of y'all since it's a special occasion and a pretty epic fuck up.

i've always been a pretty light sleeper, but ever since college i've had short term periods of insomnia maybe twice a year at the most. to make matters worse i now travel monthly for work between new york and portland, and sometimes phoenix. 

i should say i've had maybe 2 prescriptions for halcion (triazolam) in my life and i use them rarely enough that one prescription will last me most of the year. however, because i've been traveling a lot, and when i have to fly overnight, i've started taking my old prescription with me to help sleep on the plane. i'll just stop you right now and clarify that i do not have an addiction or reliance to sleep aides, and yes i know i'm not supposed to take halcion while on an airplane, or in public, or basically anywhere than i'm not exactly lying down on a bed. anyways, i usually just throw the bottle into my carry on and go. 

so usually when i travel for work i fly back on sunday to do reports on monday. but because i had to do a report, and also had to do a quarterly review and meet with all my project mangers, i got up early to try and get to work early to finish the reports first thing. i got ready for work and hopped on the bus. while i was finally on the bus i decided to go ahead and take my daily multivitamin, fish oil, parathyroid hormone (since i was a teenager), vitamin d, calcium, an antacid and minor prescription for anxiety. needless to say i didn't want to pull out all these pills in front of my neighbors on the bus so i reached into my bag and stupidly began opening bottles and taking the pills out one at a time. when i had all of them, i popped them into my mouth casually and washed it down with a protein shake i grabbed from the fridge. 

when i got to my stop, pretty immediately i realized something was wrong. i opened my bag and realized the cap was off my bottle of halcion and the pills had spilled all over inside my bag. i must have taken one on accident. i panicked. i went to the deli immediately and got a red-bull and downed it.

i didn't know what to do next. "what the fuck do i do?" "should i call in sick?" "i can't call in sick i have my review." i decided i had to at least make it up to the office floor to tell my partner and project manager i might try and postpone. 

in the elevator i thought, "hey i think the red-bull helped." and maybe it wasn't so bad. i can be a little drowsy. when i got to the office, to my horror i saw that the coo was showing two board members around the office along with one of their daughters (or wives) i don't know, there were more people there than usual that early. i saw my coworker friend and said, "i might have taken a sleeping pill i'm alright though." she said "i think there's a five-hour energy in the fridge" and i said "i've already had a red-bull and i don't want to have too much caffeine and have my heart explode." she told me there was no caffeine in 5 hour energy and it would be fine. so i went to the fridge and downed it. 

by this time i decided to just sit in my desk. i stared at my blank monitor. i felt like my head was turning upside down and thought, "i'm not going to make it. what do i do? do i leave or go home and risk passing out on the street? i needed to write an email so i started booting up my computer which i had kept off since i was out of town, and i thought, "damn my computer is slow" i suppose in retrospect i could have written it on my phone but i wasn't thinking. i also wanted to turn on my computer so that if i left work people would know that i showed up, if they couldn't find me. i didn't want them to think i skipped work. anyways the computer was taking forever to load and i thought i might pass out so i grabbed a sticky note and started scribbling on it. then everything went dark.

i woke up in the hospital, naturally, later that morning or was it afternoon? my coworker was there and my project partner, and the administrative assistant were in my room. when i saw them i said "i accidentally took a sleeping pill before work." they did not think it was funny. i asked them what happened to me, and they said they looked for me at my desk but couldn't find me, then they saw the note i scribbled on my desk it said, "ill be in the server room" 

i suppose my brain's last minute plan was to lie down in the server room which i've always thought was very warm and the hum is soothing, would make an ideal room for a nap. they found me unresponsive face down.

but that's not the end of it. when they tried to find out what was wrong with me, they searched my bag to see if i was on any prescriptions. they found the cap off the empty bottle of sleeping pills and pills spilled all over my bag and i think they believe i attempted suicide. 

on the bright side i was released after i explained myself and they gave me the rest of the week off for "exhaustion" but i guess i earned it because that was one hell of a fuck up. 

 

edit: spelling, grammar. not a good story teller, sorry guys. 

edit 2: i just learned my cake day was 2 days ago i just hadn't logged in in 2 days.

TIFU by taking a sleeping pill before work.