Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: ok, so this isn't actually about me, but my boyfriend. 

last night he was helping me put a salsa together for a party we're having at work today when i asked him if we had any disposable gloves so i could chop a jalapeno. he laughed and said "you don't need gloves for that!" i explained to him that a few years back i had chopped up some jalapenos to go with my breakfast and then (after having washed my hands multiple times that day) masturbated before bed. big mistake - my vag was on fire. again he laughs and says that i'm just really sensitive to capsaicin.

i told him "if that's the case then grab your dick right now," and he does. and he doesn't just grab it, he really shoves his hand down his pants and gets all up in there.

about a minute goes by and he still has a smile on his face and he says it's a bit warm and tingly, but he just thinks it's funny and continues chopping things. another minute goes by and he says he needs to go take a shower.

he then spent the next half hour or so in agony. the pain eventually calmed down, but he still felt it for the rest of the night. before we went to bed he said he would have to take my word for things more often.

i feel no pity.

TIFU by touching my junk