Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: quick back story i ordered buffalo wings for dinner and had a few beers last night ... 
fast forward wake up at 6 am make some coffee and do the daily routine (the three s's: shit, shower, shave)
so i have a fast metabolism so i thought the coffee would nullify all decisions i made last night like it always does...
we'll see that where the tifu starts, i decide (ya know the idea that seems perfectly legit at the time) to ride my bike to work to wake my self up and feel good about having some beers last night. 
well fast forward again where i worked 10 hours and it was a busy ass day so i was like "awesome i can leave in like 30 mins!!"
as soon as my brain thought that wonderful thought, it decided it wanted to ruin my entire day. i immediately had the battle of stalingrad start in my stomach. i thought oh jeez thank god i leave in a little bit. wrong
second part of the tifu was that i waited until the exact time to leave before i realized i had a fifteen minute (2 miles) bike ride home.
the contractions were getting closer together about every fifteen minutes, and i was like "oh fucking shit i still have to ride home."

third part of the tifu was i think i can make it home before the climax of the battle commences. i was about half way home and i started getting flush in the face and contractions were shortening to about every 4 minutes and i was pedaling my quads off. i couldn't sit down on the seat fearing every bump in the rode would act as a catalyst to my demise. i blow though intersections without slowing down and run stopsigns. as i am within eye sight of my house is when i start sweating profusely, and not because of the bike ride.
i ditch my bike quick, run inside as fast as i could, and ( i think the closer you get to the bathroom your brain turns on the accelerant like pouring gasoline on the fire ) needless to say i make it just in the splash of time. but still need to shower cause of splash damage from the mortar.

ti;dr by riding my bike to work and not using the bathroom all day and deciding i can make it home in time. in the process all most shitting myself while riding my bike home from work. never again will i play russian roulette with the hershey squirts.

tifu by by riding my bike to work