Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Obligatory TL:DR at the bottom

So, I'm currently in my third year of uni, and I graduate (hopefully!) at the beginning of July. Naturally, questions about the ceremony are beginning to arise in my family, and last night my mum told me that my dad has to be present when I graduate. 

I am very against this. Mainly bc he left our family around 5 years ago, when my mum finally threw him out after over 20 years of emotional, financial and (occasional) physical abuse.

Furthermore, he's an alcoholic. I do *not* want him present at my graduation, considering that he has never been present at any other event in my life. He's never been to a parent's evening, or a school play, he even forgot my 18th birthday. I do not see why he is now entitled to come to my graduation. I have worked extremely hard to get to this point and I don't think he deserves to be there. He is still in my life, yes (against my wishes), as my mum still allows him to visit our house, even though when he is here he never says more than hello or goodbye to me. Personally, I feel like if he wanted so badly to be at my graduation, he should have acted like a father in the first place. He does not deserve now to suddenly turn up and pretend he has anything to do with my success, that is all down to my mum bringing me up alone (even though he was in the house he never even changed a nappy let alone cared for me) and myself. 

I expressed such thoughts to my mother last night and her reaction was less than ideal. She told me that I'm being selfish and cruel and that he's still my dad no matter what he did and he should be able to go. She says he'll pay for his own ticket (my uni only gives you 2 free tickets, and those will be for my mum and my bf), but I still don't particularly want him there. She says if I don't let him I'll regret it. 

Am I the asshole? 


TL:DR - My dad wants to come to my graduation ceremony despite the fact he's never been present at any other event in my life, and was emotionally and physically abusive to my mother - I said no and now my mum hates me for it. 

not wanting my dad to come to my graduation ceremony