Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i had the day off work yesterday and was enjoying a leisurely romp on reddit when i heard a knock on the door. not just any knock, but the most damned authoritative knock possible. i imagine that if the president personally came to my house because i was the only one who could stop an alien invasion and the eventual annihilation of the human race, this is the knock he would use. i put on my pants and opened the door to an especially burly police officer. 

there was no greeting, no friendly hello and how do you do, just a very curt, "are you mohammad foreignlastname?" 

it took me a second to recover from the shock, but being the most pasty white motherfucker you've ever seen, i eventually cracked a smile. "nope, i'm (my real name)."

"ok, do you mind if we search your house for mohammad?"

here was my thought process at this point: first, i have no idea who this mohammad guy is and there is no way he's in my house. the search would be a waste of time. second, my house is a mess and i don't want anybody to see it until i clean. third, i'm a libertarian kind of guy and don't want to give some stranger the right to go through my stuff, especially a government official. i don't do anything illegal, but that isn't the point. therefore, i said, "no, i would prefer if you didn't enter my house."

still super serious, "ok, well we have an arrest warrant here (hands me warrant) that lists your address. that means we have the legal right to search this residence so please move aside."

darn, bested by the courts. "okie dokie," i replied "i won't stop you if you're coming in." suddenly, shockingly, a second police officer appeared next to the first, as if by magic. he had been hiding with his back to my house less than a foot from me. very tricksy. they did a quick run through of my house while i waited in the living room. i figured it would be less than a minute before they realized there were no foreigners hiding under the bed, but they were pretty thorough. 

after about five minutes, the burly officer came to me with an old shirt. "why was this hidden behind the dryer?" it was a plain white t shirt absolutely covered in dried blood. the astute reader might question why this author has a shirt that was covered in blood. the reason, dear reader, is that i briefly raised chickens and slaughtered them myself. it was a horrifically messy business and therefore i sold all my equipment after i finished killing the 26 chickens. i basically broke even.

"well," i answered, "at least it isn't my blood." i thought i was being funny. i thought the officer would enjoy the nice little joke. as a further bit of information, a little girl went missing in my community maybe a year ago. it was huge news and everyone has assumed by now that she was kidnapped and probably has been murdered. 

suddenly there is a gun pointed at me and i'm on the ground in handcuffs. suddenly there are a dozen police officers and dogs going through my house and yard and the woods behind my house. especially the woods. i tried to explain, but where was the proof? you don't have chickens now, you don't have a brooder or coop. sure there are some chickens in the deep freezer, but you can get chickens at sams club. there is no way in hell that this punk ass bitch is a farmer. 

my wife got home with our daughter to this grand circus going on at our house. "what about the pictures i took of you with the chickens?" oops, forgot about those bad boys. she got our camera and showed the officer in charge. me with the chicks, me in the coop, me fist deep inside a chicken wearing the same white blood covered shirt. bingo bango, they called off the search. i have no hope of getting my shirt back. 

moral of the story: don't joke about murder with a cop.

TIFU by implying to a police officer that I murdered a child