Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: here we go, friends. this fu did in fact happen today. i am currently curled up on my bathroom floor, spooning my toilet as if it were my highschool sweetheart about to leave for war, because of a moment of idiocy that occurred about 5 hours ago.

for some necessary backstory, i am a recent college graduate with a degree in nursing. i had a little too much fun in college, so it took me 5 and a half years to graduate. being that it took me almost 2 years longer than it should have to obtain my degree, i am currently drowning in student debt. also, i recently discovered that due to a clerical error, the dental insurance i thought i had under my parent's health insurance was cancelled last year. so when my dentist told me a few months back that my wisdom teeth were growing in at delightfully awkward angles and would need to be removed, i scoffed a pathetic little scoff and decided to hold off until next year, when i could get dental insurance through my work. 

flash forward to 3 days ago. my right wisdom tooth begins to hurt. like, really hurt. like, the worst hurt that i've ever felt in my 25 years of life. my mouth begins to swell. it swells so much that i begin to have trouble opening my jaw. my jaw becomes so tight that i can barely fit a spoon in to my mouth. i am resolved to essentially sipping soup and broth all day, at which point i call my dentist. she says that it sounds like an infection that resulted in lock jaw. i cave in and schedule a wisdom tooth extraction, and am prescribed 10 days worth of antibiotics, as well as some medication for the pain.

as any freshman nursing student can confirm, a common side effect of both antibiotics and pain relievers is nausea/vomiting. to avoid this, it's recommended that you take these medicines with food. i am so desperate for relief when i go to get my medicines that i completely overlook this information that i had engraved into my eager student brain 5 years before. y'all see where this is going? 

i pick up my medicines and enthusiastically take them all at once, on an essentially empty stomach. what resulted was a violent vomiting episode that hasn't been seen since the jello shot nightmare of freshman year. i hope you never ever have to experience the pain of vomiting while simultaneously having lock jaw. it was indescribable. the icing on the cake, though, was having to call my super-nurse manager and explain that i would not make it in to work today as i was experiencing a completely avoidable side effect of my medicines, and am thus probably unfit to be a nurse.

 

edit: i just want to thank you all for the overwhelmingly kind/supportive comments, and for all of the advice on how to alleviate the pain. you all have really brightened up an incredibly lousy day. i'd smile larger but, you know, the lock jaw and all... ;)

TIFU by forgetting 5+ years of college education in a moment of weakness