Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: my gf is taking a woman studies course over the summer and one of her topics to write on was the psychological affects of teen-child abuse. she brought to my attention that a higher rate of males than we realize go through abuse. more often it goes unreported. our conversation triggered this repressed memory...

'twas a cold night in december. i was 16 years old, (illegally) working valet at a club my uncle owned. i say illegally because the hours of the club, in which i worked were from 9pm to 2am. yeah, something, something child labor laws...i was also paid under the table to avoid employee tax fees. 

the night started out pretty regular. i was parking cars, surveying the lot, test driving cars around the lot/to the nearest light; you know, regular valet shit. upon surveying the lot, i saw a clearly inebriated obese black woman leaning against the hood of my uncle's car. as, i walk over to inspect, i thought to myself, "i should just let her chill bc it looks like she is about to puke and i don't want to be anywhere near that technicolor yawn when she decides to blow." but then i thought, if she vomits on my uncle's car, i will get a severe beat down, and/or even fired. i'd at least have to pay for a car wash. knowing my uncle, he'd make me wash it myself. so i walk up to her and her group of super bbw friends. guys, srsly, this was like the "no skinny bitches allowed" clique or something. or like my mother would say, "they just had a surplus of calories"...right. 
at the time i was a skin-and-bone, 6 foot, lanky teenager. so you can understand my hesitation. 

i shine my flashlight at them. upon seeing me, her and her old ass bbw (my age gauge said about early 30s) friends start giggling. the biggest one who was leaning on the car walks up to me and says, "how big is your dick?" i was fucking startled. these were my formative bitch years when i was extremely bashful in nature. up until that point i had only been to second base (late bloomer). i did not yet know how to react to such straight-forwardness. i kid you not, before i could even think of an applicable answer, she grabs my hand, makes me her feel her breast and reaches down my pants and grabs my dick. i remember the extreme feeling of discomfort. her ashy man-hands, the texture of burlap. her eyes, a deep black as she stared at me waiting for a reaction. i was in shock. i couldn't move. she stroked me for about 15 secs and then started laughing. "oh, you just a little baby," she said. she then drunkenly stumbled away with her super bbw friends. i, left standing there with a flashlight and half-erect penis. 

i didn't know what to think of it really until now. seven years later.

 


edit: grammar and stuff.

TIFU by remembering that I was once technically molested by a BBW.