Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Okay... So I (22m) have this random roommate (20f) who is a little socially awkward. She is extremely nice, but was home schooled her entire life so there are certain things about social dynamics that just go entirely over her head. A lot of times, I think these misunderstandings cause her to get taken advantage of especially since we live in a party-centric college town. She always brags about how in high school she used to rob people of their drugs and a lot of her friends were in gangs etc. She brags about it like she ran the game, but from an outsiders perspective it sounds like her insecurities caused her to confuse friendship with people who manipulated her into committing crime for them.  The first week she moved in she was breaking up with her abusive boyfriend who she only dated for 2 months but supposedly hit her and cheated on her for the duration of that time. She doesnt have many friends, and is always talking about how people in town use her and how nobody cares about her. 


Now, a few months ago I also broke up with my partner of 3 years and was also left in a situation where I had very few friends. There was a short period of staying inside and grieving but soon I decided I needed to just leave the house and start working on myself. I made a point to regularly walk out the front door without any plans and figure out something to do other than mope. I made a point to "do my own thing" and spend my time doing activities I enjoy and by doing that Ive almost unintentionally met a lot of really cool people with similar interests and I would say that I have a very positive/thriving social life at the moment. 


My roommate has been in this anti-social grieving period for 4 months now and I have to say the amount of time she spends laying around the apartment (watching my tv...) is not only unhealthy but its gotten to be a little gross frankly. Shes turned the living room common space into her depression pit, and shell literally spend all day watching tv, going to work, and then watching tv all night. The whole room is covered in food wrappers, weed crumbs and spliff ash, and she sits on the same spot on the couch for so long that i think shes single handedly ruined it. When I ask her to clean up shell either pull the depression card, or clean up and let it fall back into a state of disrepair almost immediately. 


I also have depression so I get this entirely, and I've tried to be kind and understanding of how easy it is to get caught up in negative thought pools like this, and shes expressed before that shes particularly sad she has no friends so Ive always tried to be nice about it (youre doing good! dont worry so much about other people! do your own thing! work on yourself people flock to self positivity! youre a cool person!). Well...  About 3 nights ago she tells me shes going to drive 7 hours to pick her abusive ex up from the airport because she is still friends with the guys grandma... 


I lose my cool a little bit, mainly because she left the apartment in terrible state and my ex had also tried to get back into contact with me recently so it hit home. I tell her "thats the worst idea ive ever heard, thats super counterproductive to this whole self respect/positivity thing. why are you still talking to this dudes grandma? thats kinda weird you should just cut ties. Shes only wants to still be friends because old people are kinda lonely and vulnerable like that and you shouldnt because her grandson abused you so its kinda a bad look and also a bad idea." She agreed and thought what I was saying was funny, because I think she appreciated someone shit talking her ex. 


So that situation settled down but then last night she was telling me about her friend, lets call him Ben, who supposedly was a pretty bad dude. She bragged to me about how one time they robbed a kid of his drugs, and how he had been shot once, and how last time he visited he threatened to pull a gun on someone for saying something racist. Im spooked. In response to this I let her have it. I tell her how dumb it is that she glorifies crime like that, and that everyone in all these stories sound like theyre just taking advantage of her, and how petty it is to think I would be impressed by her friend pulling a gun on someone because they were offended. I tell her this dudes not welcome to visit ever again because I dont want to feel on edge in my house. 


to this she says "you know hes my best friend right?"



I flip out. I tell her hes not, I tell her how naive she is to think that, and how shes just looking for someone to care about her and thats futile because if shes really looking to get out of this depression pit and find a healthy social circle shes got to understand that nobody inherently cares about her (other than her mom). I told her she needs to grow up and stop seeking fulfillment from other people, and to instead try to find it in herself otherwise literally everyone will take advantage of her if they see her just riding peoples coat tales begging them for affection. I tell her that she cant find fullfillment if shes sitting around smoking weed and watching tv all day, and that theres freedom in understanding that nobody cares about her because it means she has the ability to find whatever it is she likes and to do it with the knowledge that everything is her choice. I told her that this requires organization and that organization is socially valuable, and that whether she likes it or not, being friends with someone is inherently an exchange of resources (tangible and intangible) so she cant expect to just be innately favorable in this social hierarchy simply because she exists. It told her even though it sucks and its a sad game, its just the way it is so she has the choice to sink or swim but that shes not allowed to bring sketchy people into the house ever because I promise her theyre not her friends and I dont want to be robbed..



So anyways this morning (while i had friends over....) she put on a public display of crying on the kitchen floor about how nobody cares about her and how I agree no one cares and how mean I was. I told her I wasnt trying to be mean but Im very honest about the advice I gave her. Honestly I dont care about her enough to seek friendship, but empathizing with the place shes in, I want her to get out of it and I want her to respect herself. And I want to have a not disgusting living room.



TLDR:
 My roommate is depressed and doesn't understand shes making bad choices imo. I was extremely blunt about the way I viewed her situation and offered some prickly advice about how not to be, because depression is something I understand. 

 

telling my roommate no one cares about anyone and that she needs to go outside more