Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: let me get some things out of the way. i'm a straight male. i have been in a loving relationship for years and am perfectly fine with my life. i am posting this before i head out. here we go:

so this morning, i woke up with the typical morning wood. i took my morning piss, showered, and went for a jog. when i got back, i was really horny for some reason, so i did the obvious, and fapped. i'm a regular fapper, so this time i wanted to try something that i only do on occasion. i was going to suck my own dick. now, this may make me seem gay, which is fine, but i am most definitely straight. i only do this sometimes for a little extra pleasure. i'm a pretty flexible guy, and i don't exactly think i'm lacking in the dong department. this is where it starts getting pretty nsfw. i loaded up a nice film in which a woman is pleasuring herself in a bath, and her other female walks in and joins in on the fun. i removed the royal pants, and stretched for a bit. i've done this many times so i made my stretch pretty lackluster. i got into position (laying down, legs up and bent behind my head) and went to town. the feeling as i licked and stroked my shaft was so incredible, that i couldn't focus on the video. as i was about to finish, i heard a noise and zoned back in. i thought maybe my girlfriend came home from yoga early, so i began panicking. i waited a few seconds, and nothing happened, so i figured i might as well continue. when i got back to work, i noticed a sharp pain/soreness in my back. i figured this was just a minor pain because of my shitty stretching, and payed it no mind. took me a few more minutes to finish, and i had one of the most amazing orgasms (on my face, not in my mouth) i've ever had.

when i unfolded from position, i felt an excruciating pain in my lower back, and could hardly move. it felt like kidney stones mixed with that scene from batman where bane snapped his spine. i sat there writhing for a few minutes before even attempting to get up.

this. fucking. sucks. (pun intended hehe)
i've scheduled an appointment at the chiropractor to see if they can help, but i can hardly move. i'm afraid of my girlfriend coming home and me having to tell her. i'm afraid that i have to tell the chiropractor how i got in this situation. and most of all, i'm afraid that i've caused permanent damage to my back or spine. sorry for the long post and thanks for reading.

 

edit: i'm not gonna lie, i forgot about this post. until i got back from physical therapy a few days ago, i was getting test after test and telling the story to multiple people, each of which brought their friend and made me tell them. i'm still upset about all of this, and i'm probably never going to attempt it again. as horrible as i feel, at least my girlfriend was impressed (:

edit 2: i'm so sorry to anyone who i may have offended by constantly saying "i'm not gay". it was not at all my intention, and i was in pain, so i wasn't thinking straight (haha no pun intende- ahhh i did it again). again, really sorry to anyone i offended with this. and yes, by the way, i shower before jogging, don't you? weirdo.

TIFU by sucking my own dick