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Input: Los Angeles (AFP) –  Swimming great Michael Phelps  revealed that  he  has battled severe anxiety and depression for much of  his  life which drove  him  to consider suicide after  his  success at the 2012 Olympics.
Speaking at a mental health conference in Chicago on Tuesday  the 23-time Olympic gold medal winner talked openly about  his  long battle with crippling depression and is encouraging others to get help like  he  did.
“After every Olympics I think I fell into a major state of depression ”  the 32-year-old Phelps  said.
 Phelps  said  he  reached rock bottom following the 2012 Olympics in London where  he  won four gold medals and two silver. For four days  he  remained in  his  room without food or sleep.
“I didn’t want to be in the sport anymore ”  he  said. “I didn’t want to be alive.”
When  he  hit a low point in  his  depression   Phelps  said  “You do contemplate suicide.”
Over the past two years  Phelps  has opened up about  his  struggles. Once again   Phelps  said  his  depression and anxiety problems have been a staple of  his  life for the past 17 years.
“We’re supposed to be this big  macho  physically strong human beings  but this is not a weakness ”  he  said. “We are seeking and reaching for help.”
 Phelps  won his first gold medal in 2004 at the Athens Olympic Games. That same year the 15-year-old from Baltimore experienced his first “depression spell”.
 Phelps  said as  he  got older  his  depression led to  his  abusing drugs and alcohol.
In 2008  after winning a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games   Phelps  was photographed smoking from a bong.  He  has also been arrested twice for drink driving.
“It would be just me self-medicating  myself   basically daily  to try to fix whatever it was that I was trying to run from ”  he  said.
 Phelps  isn’t the first Olympic national hero to battle dark demons outside the pool.
Like  Phelps   Thorpe chose to “self-medicate” with alcohol to try and manage  his  vicious mood swings and silence the horrible thoughts going through  his  head.
In an interview with CNN this week   Phelps  said  he  wants to eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness.
“(Mental illness) has a stigma around it and that’s something we still deal with every day ” said  Phelps . “I think people actually finally understand it is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change.”

Phelps opens up about battling anxiety depression