Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Sorry, I’m on mobile.

So I’m a bi girl, and while not in the cards at the moment I’d like to have a relationship at some point. There’s a pretty good chance that relationship could be with a girl, and I’d like to be able to treat my hypothetical s/o the same way the rest of my cousins treat theirs. 

My mom’s side of the family is pretty conservative, and my cousins on that side regularly make homophobic jokes. If any of them really cared that much about me being not straight, I’d be okay with just cutting them off. I’ve never been too close with any of them anyway. However, there are still a few complications.

Number one is my Grandma. My mom says that I absolutely cannot come out as long as Grandma is alive, as knowing that I’m gay would “break her heart”. I love my grandma, and I want her to love me, but I do want to know if her love is unconditional or not. I’d also like to see if she could change. She’s getting up there in years, but she’s a genuinely good lady with a great heart. If I came out, I could show her that the LGBT community is full of lovely people and she could learn to be more tolerant. But I don’t want to cause her pain, and I don’t want to be disowned or forbidden from going to family events.

There’s also the issue of the rest of my immediate family. I don’t want to separate them from my cousins and aunts and uncles, especially since they’re much closer with them than I am. Me being out could result in the entire family being excluded from Thanksgivings or vacations, or having to choose between me or the entire extended family.

I also don’t want them to think I’m a predator because I like girls. I’ve heard them talk, and I know what they think about the LGBT community. I’m worried that instead of realizing I’m still the same person, they’d think I was secretly some kind of evil predator the whole time.

I’m only going to come out when I get a girlfriend that’s serious enough to bring to my family, but I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing when I do. WIBTA if I came out?

Feel free to ask for more info.


coming out to my conservative family