Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this actually unfolded over the entirety of my teenage years. i should probably use a throwaway but since this account started as such, i guess i will stick with it.

i experienced the joy of jizzin' when i was ten. it was glorious. but i couldn't get off by normal means, i had to have my dingaling pushed up against something. i liked the pressure. this basically translated to just dry humping things. at first, it started with the bed, but the bed wasn't enough pressure after a little while, so i switched to my carpeted floor. i kept my underwear on most of the time, so a lot of jizz stayed in and just stained my laundry, but a lot of it also leaked out the top and onto the carpet.

i actually didn't figure out how to masturbate the "normal" way till i was 16, and even to this day i have a hard time cumming without feeling pressure on my click stick.

there was one spot in particular where i could lay on my belly without having to move stuff around, right next to my bed. it became my cum spot. so, over the next few years, i jizzed on a daily basis in that very spot. it became crusty and yellow. i put my lego box over the top of it to hide it when my mom came into my room.

one day, i forgot the lego box, and my mom saw the giant, three-year old hunk of crust that was on that section of carpet. it was so orange that my mom thought it was orange juice. i lied and said that it was. i spent the next three weeks or so trying to remove it by scrubbing with hot water, which only spread it around and made it worse. i kind of just let it go and my mom must have forgotten, because it wasn't mentioned again.

i realize that having a cum spot right there was probably a bad idea, so my 12 year old brain did the smart thing and **picked another spot elsewhere in my room.** so that spot fills up with orange crust as time passes. i also found another spot-- my bathroom rug. this was my best choice yet, since it was tossed into the wash every once in a while, no one would notice.

after my new cum spots filled up, i got complacent and went back to my old one. 

when i was about 15, my mom found the spots-- again-- and when i got off the bus, i saw a white van parked by my house with a cleaning logo. yep, she called in a professional cleaning service. it was just one guy, and apparently he spent well over an hour on my room, particularly on my cum spot. he came downstairs and my parents were joking about how hard it must have been to clean, and he just laughed and shook his head and said it was one of the hardest stains he's ever had to work on. i have no idea if they knew what it was, but i wanted to die inside the whole time. my parents were naively religious so i'm hoping they thought it was still orange juice. he couldn't even get it completely clean, there was still this vague orange hue to that part of the carpet.

around this time, i finally figured out-- i could leave a strip of toilet paper over the carpet and hump that. problem was, it tore easily, and oftentimes my cum would miss. so even though it was much cleaner than straight-up jizzing on the carpet, there was still cum buildup.

like i said, when i was 16 i learned how to whack my mole the normal way by rubbing it. it felt really good and there was a lot more cum than i was used to. i got really confused-- why did i hump the carpet? why did that get me off? was i some kind of sexual deviant? would i ever be able to have normal sex since i was apparently a pressure-freak? i mixed it up a bit by batin' the normal way on some days, and humping the floor on other days. idk, i was a weird teenager, i don't even know why the fuck i did this.

when i was 18, my mom found my cum spot, again, and rented a carpet steam thing for me to use. she didn't even say anything. i think she knew. my parents were religious and didn't talk openly about sex, so this sort of silent appearance of the rented steam cleaner was probably the confirmation that she knew i was batin'. i spend at least two fucking weeks trying to clean up my own ancient cum, some of which was now eight years old.

at this point i had slowed down a bit on my mole whackin', only doing it every other day or so instead once or twice daily. i also figured out that i could just stay in bed and take care of my morning wood. i would just let my jizz spill over. this happened for about two years and i didn't think anything of it, till i came home from school and my mom bought me a whole new mattress. she had stripped my bed to do laundry and said that my mattress was so disgusting that she just bought me a new one. didn't say anything else. she knew.

i also realized that she had hired a cleaning service for about a year to come in and do the laundry (we were kind of rich), so these random cleaning ladies had also seen my cum-encrusted mattress. i was mortified.

looking back on my floor-humpin' years, i couldn't help but wonder what the fuck was wrong with me and why i didn't just masturbate the normal way. once i learned how to do that, i just stood over the toilet and let go.

TIFU by having a cum spot