Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this was a couple days ago but due to sexual nature of the incident it couldn't be posted until today.

my night with my lady partner started out rather normally, drinks were had, clothes were removed and sexy time began. during intercourse i noticed that her iud strings were poking a little more than normal, but i decided it was due to our position so we changed positions. the poking didn't really go away but as i got more into what was happening i was able to completely ignore the discomfort.

after about 5 minutes discomfort turned to pain and i decided that i was going to win the orgasm race. i vigorously raced toward the finish line of bliss and happiness. a couple minutes later i was done and she went to the bathroom while i went downstairs to get some water. when i poured the water i noticed a drop of blood on the tile in the kitchen. i thought to myself "this is weird, i wonder why there is blood on the floor". 

a wave of realization swept over me and i grabbed my spawn hammer and looked it directly in the eye. the tip was covered in blood, and more blood was coming from what looked like the eye of sauron. there were cuts, scrapes and a small holes in and around the urethra. i wrapped my tenderized meat in some paper towels and went to go nurse my wounds. there was no bliss or happiness.

 

iud - 1

penis - 0

TIFU by sword fighting with an IUD string