Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: My group of friends and I go to the same restaurant/bar a few times per week. To say we're regulars is kind of an understatement. It used to be just a few us who went (we worked nearby) but have since expanded our Friday night crew to include other friends. The "core" group knows the bartenders really well. We go to each others' weddings, baby showers, etc. Bottom line: These workers are more than just "our bartenders," they're our friends, too.

Our "non core" group of friends is always respectful and amicable to these workers, but haven't really jumped the gap from friends of friends...to their friends. No drama or anything, but there's only so many people you can be close with, ya know?

One friend, we'll call "Steve," is part of the "non core" group of friends. I've known Steve for almost 20 years- we go way back. 

The other night at the bar, one of the new bartenders "Carl" was working. Carl used to work at this restaurant years ago (way before Steve started coming up). While working his new job, he still came into the bar often to visit, but had never met Steve. Carl as a person is... a wonderful friend. Carl as a bartender is....not the best. He's still in his first few shifts behind the bar (used to serve) It takes him a little extra time for drinks and doesn't dish out price breaks the way other bartenders do. No biggie. He's learning. We tip him the same (30%) as other bartenders. I can see how other people could get frustrated though. 

Our problem begins with Steve. He doesn't like Carl at all. He complains that Carl is too slow, too hipster and too stupid to figure anything out. I've never noticed anything wrong about Steve's food or drink orders- just that he's slow to get drinks, charges full price and sometimes uses the wrong glassware (but same volume of drink).

Before, Steve only quietly mentioned his irritations from the other side of the room at a table, out of earshot of Carl. However, that changed when we were sitting at a closer table la. After a few drinks, Steve started talking louder than normal. I wasn't sure if Carl could hear or not, but I was VERY embarrassed to say the least. No one else at our table really seemed to notice Steve talking- we had all been drinking except me (DD for the night.) I could tell Steve would have been a dick if I told him to lower his voice, so I didn't say anything and changed the subject.

Would I be the asshole if I privately told Steve that his behavior wasn't cool and to not do it again? I'm glad that situation kind of resolved itself, but I don't want to repeat itself. I especially don't want Carl thinking that we don't like him or are supporting him while he learns a new job.

TL;DR- Friend A and Friend B don't know each other. Friend A and I are at a bar while Friend B is the bartender who isn't great at his job. WIBTA if I told Friend A to to lower his voice while he talking shit about Friend B/bartender's work skills?

telling my friend to stop talking shit so loudly about the bartender (a friend of mine) when we're at a bar