Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: today my girlfriend left to visit her parents for the christmas week. i soon realised that i had the whole house to myself so the trousers came off, i made some curry and i flopped out on the sofa. 

4 hours later i had caught up on tv, wrapped up christmas presents, cut my toenails and rubbed my penis raw. i started getting peckish again and i remembered i'd only eaten half the curry so i went to refill by bowl from the pan on the stove. 

after i'd eaten 95% i felt something crunchy between my teeth. it was then that i remembered that i had put all the toenail clippings into my bowl after my first curry serving. 

there are no toenails left in there now...

TIFU when I instantly went foul bachelor and out grossed myself within 6 hours of my girlfriend leaving for Christmas.