Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so i started a new job in upstate new york. it's for a very well known company that has downsized tremendously, which has left a shit ton of offices empty. now, i'm not a degenerate pervert, just a horny, recently divorced dad. 
so i've been here for 3 weeks and every now and then i will rub one out after lunch. i found this abandoned office, where i eat and take my breaks. i always have napkins and the bathroom is down the stairs around the corner. i've done this several times with no issue. until today...

after feeling a bit randy i decided to pull up the faithful porn site on my phone. i get to business. half way through info to get my napkin so i don't shoot on my stomach. i panicked because i see that i'm out of them. i stand up and finish into the garbage can. which is empty and i did take the tainted bag and put it into the other can. i'm not sure why i feel like i have to explain myself, we've all been there, right fellas? anyway. i walk downstairs with my soiled right hand and turn the corner to the bathroom. as i turn i see my boss and the head engineer he's been wanting me to meet. there was no way to avoid it since we'd already made eye contact. now, i wiped my hand off as good as i could on the plastic bag but we all know that's never good enough. as i approach them, the head engineer extends his right hand for a shake. ...i didn't know what to do. i didn't want to be rude. fuck!  so i end up extending my filthy hand to shake his. as i do this i look down and see a pearl of hate paste that's stuck in that little crevasse where the thumb meets my hand. i've committed at this point and finish the greeting. when i pull my hand back i look down and see the glob has been smushed. he smiles politely and i see him causally out his hand in his pocket. we say goodbye and i walk into the bathroom and wash my hands. i did recently have an std test since i'm now able to date. so i know i'm clean.

TIFU by pleasuring myself at work.