Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so i'm an idiot. there's this girl that lives across the hall from me that often makes me partake in activities with her. i try not to give in too much but i'm a moron and so when she invites me to partake in long, four hour activities riddled with social interaction i say: fuck the essay i have due to tomorrow, i'll just take a gigantic swig of whiskey so i can deal with my social anxiety and enjoy the next little while.

by the time i'm done with the activity i'm ready to work again, but regrettably i'm still drunk (because i'm a fucking moron) and i'm seriously lacking in time. so what do i do? fill my body with more harmful liquids! i went out and bought a lot of red bull. in the past 12 hours i've consumed 7 red bulls and a 5 hour energy thing. i'm pretty sure the essay i've just written is completely incomprehensible but i can't tell because my mind is too fucked to recognize what does and does not make sense. like how can i be so stupid? want to know what i did yesterday morning instead of writing my essay? i'll show you:

http://i.imgur.com/josbp6j.jpg

i added random games to my steam library and found or created tiles for them so i could look at my games in grid view and admire how pretty they were. i must be a new breed of moron.

so now i'm sitting here in the dark with my heart beating fast enough that i can actually hear it. my essay is due in about six hours from now and i can't go to sleep to refresh my mind because i'm too hopped up on caffeine and i can't write for shit because i'm going to have the mental capacity and literacy skills of a chain smoking toddler until i get some rest. hell i bet even the stuff i'm writing *right now* doesn't make sense.

i can't tell if the pains in my chest are stress related or if my heart is just getting ready to give out. oh well, i guess i earned this. maybe i'll do some jumping jacks and help the little sucker out. would certainly solve *one* of my problems.

 

**update:**

so i fell on my bed and prayed for about 20 minutes. i'm not the religious type but i basically said i'd do volunteer work if the g man delivered me through the day unscathed. i lay down to try and nap and i kept getting graphic sexual images in my head and i was totally convinced it was god testing me. i still have faith that he will help me because those were some seriously graphic images and my member remains unwanked. so anyway i just woke up with 3 hours until my essay is due. my kidney hurts, my tongue feels like a cheese grater and my mouth tastes uncannily like my own blood. yes, my essay is pretty retarded. i appear to have started paragraphs and then gotten frustrated at myself before mashing enter until i didn't have to look at them anymore so i have lots of useless crap at my disposal... also my word count is therefore a total lie.

still not a good day, friends.

**update2:**

oh god my neighbor is texting me, talking about how she didn't want to be up all night worrying about me. she says she *likes me* but my lack of maturity regarding my work and liberal consumption of alcohol and energy drinks (further adding to my immaturity) is what kills her interest. i don't even want her to like me. what the shit.

**update3:**

sitting in lecture right near the front. the energy drink shits are brewing vigorously. i'm not gonna make it until the end and i'm worried if i get up and leave my prof will make a comment and everyone will look at me and i'll shit myself in fear. i can't even pay attention to what he's saying. why am i even here?

**update4:**

i'm going to do a final update for those still lingering. i just slept for 14 hours, right through all my classes. the girl professed her affections for me... no idea why.

i'm going to say i've learned my lesson but i don't believe for a second that this will be my last fuck up. look forward to sharing my failures in the future.

TIFU by consuming the wrong things at the wrong times all the damn time.