Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: I am pretty reasonable guy and family is extremely important to me. So for me to even consider cutting Mother-in-law out of my life is a pretty big deal.

TLDR; Mother-in-law is unreasonable, self-centered, manipulative, toxic and more… Whenever she opens her mouth, only negative things come out of it. Verbally and mentally abusive to my wife and I am tired of her crap and have cut her out of my life. Currently, wife and baby are still interact with MIL.

A lot more information about Mother-in-law (MIL): she likes to complain about everything, selective hearing, dismissive, extremely defensive when one opinion differs from hers, every thing should be done her way or it’s the wrong way, constant need for attention, demands appreciation for anything she considers helping, will call my wife to complain for hours about irrelevant things. 

Story time:

After a year of marriage, the wife and I decide to try for our first baby.

MIL decides to move to Florida to be closer to us so she can help out with the baby. After a few months, she turns around tells us that she is not happy here, feels abandoned by us and upset that we made her move out here… 

(We never asked her to move out here, wife talks to her everyday for hours and spends a few hours with her on the weekend – unsure where she has been abandoned or forced to move here)

MIL gets a puppy to fill the void of being abandoned by us. Good puppy, poorly trained – poops and pees in the house, jumps on people, etc… 

Eventually, we get pregnant and MIL seems to be trying to help in her way, which is the only right way to do thing. At about 6 or 7 months, MIL has an emergency and needs to speak to wife. She drives out to my wife’s work with her dog (private gated property – no pet policy) and wants to go on a walk to talk. As usual, the emergency is to complain about someone or something and during the walk, the dog gets excited, and tries to jump on a random worker walking past them. Person is clearly not comfortable with a dog trying to jump on them and wife says something along the lines of: ‘probably should not have the dog out here due to work policy and I need to get back to work it’s been over an hour’. MIL gets extremely upset by this and makes the following comments: 

1. Again accuses my wife of abandoning her and only the dog is supportive of her (makes no sense, because wife is clearly taking time out of her work day to make sure she is okay after stating it was an emergency and after finding out it is not an emergency still spent time with her). 

2. Then tells my wife that she is a horrible daughter and will be a horrible mother… 

(This is the point where I decided that I am done with her until she gives an apology – who says that to their pregnant daughter? Seriously)

Wife decides to take a break from talking to her mom and a week later MIL messages wife like nothing happened. No mention of the incident or apology. Eventually she gave a half-ass apology like ‘I am sorry that you were hurt by what I said’ (not an apology).

I am going to fast forward to after the baby is born. We decide to do daycare as we both work during the day. MIL thinks we should hire a nanny so that it is convenient for her. She hires her friend, X, for an insane rate for a nanny with no experience. I’m no expert, but for $20/hr, we could hire someone with experience, cpr certified, baby education experience, the works… MIL agrees to pay for half of the fee and we begrudgingly accept to appease the MIL.

2 months later, MIL has a falling out with X and the shit hits the fan. MIL fires X without consulting us, the parents, on a Wednesday morning. She then calls wife at work and says come pickup the baby, I fired X and I have yoga, doctor’s appointment and some other plans for the afternoon so I can’t take care of the baby. (I am so pissed off when I hear this – it really takes a certain type of person to be this inconsiderate)

I start calling local daycares to find something ASAP and most are full. As a last resort, call a friend who runs a daycare (that was full 2 months back) and they know the situation and gladly make room for her. (Cheers to awesome friends)

MIL calls wife later that night and asks when she would be bring the baby over so she can take care of her. We tell her that we found a daycare and we will be taking her there in the morning. She gets upset that we found a daycare and did not consider her in this decision.  (I wanted to tell her tough shit, baby had plans to go to yoga at daycare in the morning – but wife gave me the death stare). Wife sugar coated the situation and MIL accepted it.

Few other events to note:

MIL called my wife a bitch for not siding with her regarding X.

Then when wife demanded an apology: ‘I’m sorry that you are unempathetic’

MIL has decided to diagnose my wife as having a personality disorder and a hoarding disorder.

This is funny to me because I work in the mental health field and neither of these diagnoses applies.

MIL has decided our house is unsafe because of wife’s hoarding, cat litter box, and the security cameras I installed since having a nanny. Refuses to enter our house and demands we bring the baby to her place if we want help with the baby. 

All of this plus more

I have come to the realization that MIL is toxic and I do not want to be around that. 

AITA for wanting to cut that out of my life? I refuse to interact with her and have left the decision for cutting her out of our life to my wife. Currently, Wife and baby still interact with MIL, but if things keep up – would not surprise me if wife cuts her out too.

cutting Mother-in-law out of my life or at least have nothing to do with her