Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i went to marine corps boot camp (parris island) about five years ago and being 18yrs old at the time.  deciding the next 3 month would be hell i wanted to have a little fun and threw a party where i later hooked up with a girl (no condom).  fast forward that next day at the military entrance processing station (meps); i notice a little red dot on the top side of my penis…at the time not seeing the urgency i decide to dab some soap on it and keep it on overnight.  waking up the next day i saw no growth so i figured it would go away on its own. 

 so there i was the first day of boot camp “receiving week”.  by about the second day i begin to have serious concerns because the dot had now grown to the size of about a half dollar.  my anxiety was beyond high because i knew i couldn’t last the next 3 months with this itchy red rash growing by the day!  on the day when the drill instructor asked us does anyone need to go to medical regretfully, i sounded off along with about three other people.  he went down the line asking what was wrong with each one of us, then he gets to me and to set the scene properly i want you to know a few things:
this di was one of the biggest darkest black men i have ever seen, he had a big space between his front two teeth and when he talked he had this deep slow southern accent, where he didn’t have to yell to put fear in you.  me:  an 18yr, 5’8, 130lbs, ghostly white guy from the suburbs of rhode island.  there are about 80 guys in the room lined up on both sides of the barracks floor, silent all but the drill instructors in the area.
getting back to the story, he comes to me and i tell him i have a rash on my groin, he looks at me funny and says and i will never forget it “show me your dick” i manage to stammer something out like “here?” and  he quickly came back at me more sternly “show me your dick!”.  red faced and fumbling to undue my belt and buttons i flopped it out my inflamed red flaccid penis. the di responds with only “you nasty muthafucka” paused then tells me form to up with the rest of the pussies.   it didn’t take him long to tell all the other di’s about me and sure enough a little while later had about 3 di’s just laughing at me and telling me how small my dick was and all i could do was sit there and take it. 

 i finally made it to medical where of course i get a female doc, attractive at that.  and this only stresses me out even more.  when i told her what was wrong she almost had this attitude like she didn’t believe me or trust me.  she advised me to pull it out and put my hands behind my back.  she looked at it and said wow that’s pretty bad…i’ll prescribe you something.  i won’t bore you with the rest of the story but i’ve had some other embarrassing and stressful moments but this really stuck with me through the years.  sometimes i feel like the bad luck brian meme was made for me.

update: not sure exactly what it was probably some kinda ringworm or yeast infection type stuff, the doc used a medical term i cant remember.  got some cream for it and a week later it disappeared.  spent the following week in broke dick platoon.

TIFU by having unprotected sex before Marine Corps boot camp.(NSFW)