Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: *This part is kind of a tirade, but I think it's important to give context. Skip if you like*

To begin this, I am a big proponent in the scientific method and a believer in the findings of the scientific community. My father is a surgeon and my mother is a nurse, so I was ingrained to believe in medical science and have developed a lack of respect for people that don't. The mother is an antivaxxer and takes her children to chiropractors and naturopaths in lieu of licensed medical doctors. She also refers to people with doctorate degrees in homeopathic and naturopathic medicines from unaccredited, often online, institutions as doctors, which I know is to attempt to give their opinions more authority and find absolutely insulting to people that have undergone doctoral programs that are recognized and scrutinized by the educational community. She also believes that any questions brought up about these findings and opinions are an aggressive attack on her as a mother and a person and uses it as an excuse to be an aggressive and noncommunicative co-parent.

This is all to say that I highly question any medical decisions and opinions that she has to bring to the table when discussing the health and wellbeing of the children. This is also to admit that I have very strong feelings of distrust and disrespect for her as a person and this could easily lead me to justify my own immoral actions.

Another side note: the fiancé has a tendency to agree with me. He says it's because I put a lot of thought and research into my opinions and ideas, but I know for a fact that he was like this with his ex, which is why the kids are in the dietary fiasco that they are in now in the first place. So his opinion on the matter is also...questionable...I consider him to be easily influencable in general.

So there is an 8 year old and a 4 year old. When the younger one was an infant, she had trouble keeping food down. They tried a lot of things and eventually the mom, on advice from her chiropractor, took her children to an unlicensed person who drew their blood and determined they had a litany of food sensitivities. This includes, but is not limited to: dairy, eggs, gluten, soy, various nuts, etc. They were also told that they should both be staying under 10 grams of sugar a day. According to the father, they stopped giving them all of these foods for an extended period of time and the problems got better but didn't go away. They then reintroduced all of these foods at the same time for a couple of days and the problems got worse again, somehow proving that they were sensitive to all of these foods even though that, from my research, is not how proper food elimination testing is done. None of this was done with any research or supervision from anyone except the...unlicensed random person at the chiropractors office. For some reason, I'm skeptical.

The little one always complains about pain in her stomach and has trouble passing food. The mom consulted a naturopath (you can read about that in a previous post) that prescribed excessive amounts of vitamins. I was weary of the safety and efficacy of this treatment, so I encouraged my fiancé to take her to her pediatrician. Pediatrician said the vitamin supplements were safe for a short period of time but wouldn't actually likely help with digestive issues.

She then did a physical test on the daughter and found that she had significant fecal impaction. She gave us a list of foods to avoid, which were mostly the gluten alternatives that she had been eating to excess her whole life, and bananas and apple sauce. I believe the irony of this was lost on the mother. We were also told to give her more fiber and introduce her to flax oil and pure aloe vera juice. We were told that if she still has symptoms after a week, we would be referred to a gastrointerologist. We were given good advice on how to continue addressing her dietary problems and have been doing so ever since. She hasn't had problems since. 

The mother reverted back to the original diet almost immediately, never talked to us about the diet changes or gave us health updates, never contacted the pediatrician about it, and tells the children more or less to ignore the youngest's dietary change suggestions. We know this because anytime we explain that the youngest should try her hardest to drink her special smoothie because the doctor says will help her tummy, or that she's had enough gluten free bread or rice today, they both tell us mommy says we're wrong.

This experience has given us as a couple the incentive to go ahead and do true elimination and reintroduction testing with the girls to figure out what and how much they can eat without it negatively effecting their health.

*context/tirade over*

The girls have been 'diagnosed' with food sensitivities from questionable sources and with questionable methods. I believe that, with the help of a licensed dietician, we can come up with a strategy for food elimination/reintroduction that can determine if and what they are actually sensitive to. 

The problem is that the mother is very certain that all of these sensitivities are valid and holds us to them militantly (not herself however. For some reason she doesn't seem upset with herself when she gives them 'allergens') Their diet is 'very important' to her and she talks about it all the time.

Their sensitivities are often times unreasonably difficult to stay away from (particularly with celebratory events that's have sugary cakes filled with gluten, dairy and eggs) and anytime they are aware of breaking their diet, we hear about their terrible digestive and emotional distress and how we're not being good enough at supervising their diet. But when they are unaware of breaking their diet, it's radiosilence from them and their mom. This leads us to believe that the best way to actually test their sensitivities is by not telling them or their mom when we give them something they've 'tested positive' for.

I am concerned about the limitations of their diet on their physical and mental health, social habits, and overall life experiences. I'm also very concerned about their constant state of 'stomach disturbance' which seems to hit them fiercely when they're supposed to be doing things like cleaning their room, homework, or acknowledging their responsibility in a negative action. At best, I think they have been reinforced too heavily that their digestive health is constantly a problem and excuse for them. At worst, I fear they have misplaced blame for stomach disturbances from severe anxiety to dietary issues. For these reasons, I believe it's important to address this quickly and effectively before they are given more misplaced food issues.

I can't shake the feeling that this could be viewed as using the kids like lab mice and deceiving their mom on something she clearly cares a lot about, even if that caring is objectively misplaced. I'm not even their stepmom yet and I already have so much influence over their life, which the mom absolutely hates. When she finds out that we did this, will her rage be justified? When she sees me as the bad guy, will she be right?

Reddit, does this make me an asshole?

encouraging my fiancé to begin introducing food to his children that their mother believes they are sensitive to and not tell her