Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so i watched a video that my ex wife had on her facebook feed called "how to grapefruit your man", it's available to watch if you want, i won't be linking it because i have a problem with being a hypocrite and i wish i had never seen it, felt jealous and alone, or tried it on myself.

i live in a bachelor apartment which is very small ever since the divorce and it's just me and peanuts my cat. well, today i felt extremely alone and horny, so i decided to try this "technique" on myself and it was messy, painful and disturbing. i cut the ends off of the grapefruit and the sprays were very noticeable, it was a juicy ruby red. this should have been the first red flag and coinciding voice in the head yelling "abort! abort! abort", but no.

i've been crying a lot so peanuts will sit beside me and usually at my feet, anyways, i never knew, and i was grapefruiting myself when all of a sudden it burned extremely, i squeezed the grapefruit out of shock, i saw a spray, then i heard peanuts yelp and realised i'd squeezed a bunch of grapefruit juice into his eyes and face. he was running around meowing and hissing and i was in so much pain i ran to the bathroom and began dowsing my citric penis in the water stream.

peanuts must have used his scratching post with his face to stop the pain because i found a large wet spot on it about 2 feet from my cutting board (extremely small space, kitchen is basically in the bathroom) after the incident.

now peanuts will not leave his litter box and looks at me with this distrusting abandonment in his eyes. i hate my ex wife for tormenting me with that video (why the fuck else would she post it) and what happened to me and my cat this evening.

TIFU by trying to "grapefruit" myself, getting a burning sensation and temporarily blinding my cat.