Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so, i was in a rush last night (important dinner date) and had to have a super-quick shower. i was still soaping up when i realised i had to go *now*, so i washed the soap off real quick and got the fuck outta there. however, my little friend was still quite soaped, and an audible *squish* was heard when i entered the car. i figured it would be alright, and went to dinner. boy, was i wrong. it started to itch about halfway through dinner, and it was unbearable. then it started to burn. a lot. so much so that i had to quickly excuse myself and lock myself in the bathroom to figure out what the fuck was going on. when i unzipped, by dick was an angry, inflamed red, like it had been lightly sandpapered. i couldn't leave dinner as it was really important for work, so i sat through it like a man for the whole 2 hours, being asked twice if i was 'alright'. no, i was not fucking 'alright'. i had a long day and collapsed into bed, my dick *was* feeling a bit better. fast forward to this morning and my wang looked like [this](http://imgur.com/funfrgr). it is the worst pain i have ever experienced, and i don't think i can go into work today.

TIFU by totally destroying my penis. (NSFW because penis)