Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: ok, i'll toss a tldr at the bottom, but god, it'll make little sense if you don't read this gigantic wall of text:
i was playing lol one night and some guy started chirping me in game. later, we had a custom, and we threw around a couple of beaks, then suddenly he threatens to, and i kid you not, fornicate with my three street gnomes in front of my house.
so i brushed it off as him trying to be funny, when he actually describes my three gnomes in detail (no point in telling you guys about them, who cares). after i read what he said, i sort of felt threatened. so i try to ask a few leading questions, and then try to figure out if i knew this guy irl (how the fuck would he know what my gnomes look like?). he gave me answers to the questions, and he honestly sounded like my neighbour who plays lol too, so i just brushed it off as him using a smurf (we play together sometimes).
now, the next day, i talk to my neighbour about the game we had. turns out, he wasn't the guy i was playing with. or so he claimed, he always was such a trickster. so, to get him back, i scatter a bunch of rusty nails in his garden.
little did i know, his wife was the one that actually gardened. my neighbour is pretty effeminate, borderline homosexual. i truly though it was his garden. his wife is also an immigrant woman from some -istan (i'm not a racist i just have bad memory, sorry if you're offended). now, i'm only 99.9% sure (possibly she enjoys the thrill of dancing around landmines on her way to school, of which it's illegal for her to attend) that they got married because she wanted a green card. final sentence of this paragraph: i live in canada.
so, now, with the preface chatter out of the way: his wife accidentally pricks her finger on one of the nails, and steps on one on the way out of the garden. why people garden in bare feet, i do not know.
so my neighbour takes his wife to the hospital, and she ends up getting really bad tetanus. turns out, she decided not to get the free vaccination that comes with living in canada. so the condition might be fatal, but who cares. this is about riot banning my account. which i should get to.
i visit some sketchy (at best!) sites on the interwebz. a website promised me a video of taylor swift without very much clothing on. so i downloaded the video (seriously, what happens if the internet dies? then i cant watch it later...), and i got a virus. luckily, mcafee saves the day, and crisis averted (save for the million dollars a month subscription price). (this paragraph was filler)
so, everything is normal, save for the fact that my neighbour is trying to sue me and is pissed... but he was kinda a twat before, who cares. anyways, for 3-4 days, life is normal. until...
i try to log into the client! my account has been banned until 2500. now, i wouldn't care, but shit, i wont live that long. i cant just wait out an approximately 500 year ban. i'll be dead, and videogames are impossible when you're dead. so unless they make some crazy discoveries in time travel (or necromancy, hoping for the first one though), i'm never going to be able to play league again. unless riot can look harder into this case: i promise to be telling the truth and nothing but the truth:
my neighbour's wife's brother is a tech support (i swear i'm not racist...) person for some... thing... (iirc it's some isp). now, riot accuses me of selling my account, that i've spent a few hundred dollars on, for $20. twenty, fucking, dollars. oh, shit, did i say dollars? because it was 20 dollards.
(http://wackypedia.wikia.com/wiki/dollard)
dollards are worth probably 1/100 of a cent atm right now at 12:30 cst. so they think i sold my account for less than a fucking cent. so why do they think i sold my account? read the next couple paragraphs, you lazy bugger. i haven't decided how much i'm going to build up to the revelation.
alright, so. my neighbour's wife and her brother are real close (aside from being separated by 20 or so countries and an entire fucking ocean). so she gets this stupid idea that i'm a racist because i can't remember where she's from, and because i constantly phone the police when i see her cooking with a pressure cooker/owning fertilizer. i don't want to get my shit blown up, idgaf who it is, if they have fertilizer and/or a pressure cooker, well, i've learned stuff from the boston marathon that maybe others haven't. and that's that pressure cookers are dangerous as fuck.
so, while she's in the hospital, probably getting all the free morphine she could ever want, she decides its in her best interest not to thank me. well, that's fine. probably couldn't understand her anyways, given that she's pumped full of morphine. oh, and coupled with that accent that's as thick as rosie o'donnell. and that she maybe knows like 3 words in english. and all three are verbs. kinda hard to make a sentence out of only verbs. its like playing a game of scrabble with only vowles (that's how us canadians spell vowels, eh?).
instead of saying, "thank you for the free, legal drugs at the expense of two of my limbs", she phones up her brother, and gets him to hack into my computer and steal my lol account. so he does. now: i know what you're thinking now: where does the money come in? well, two things: stop asking fucking questions, and quit being so proactive. we'll get there.
because my neighbour's wife owns a gas station (only one in town), i've gone there for service before. and for god's sake, i'm not a fucking racist, she's just so typical it's not even funny. and no, that statement wasn't intended to be racist. you know what? fuck it. this would be going faster if i didn't have to be so politically correct.
she has my credit card number from when i bought gas from the pumps, as opposed to from the ground, where most gas comes from. so, she gets her brother to send me a bit (emphasis on a bit...) of money, and so now he has a receipt of the money-sending.
so he sends in a ticket, and riot actually believes him. what the fuck. as if i'd sell my account for less than a cent. honestly, if all of riot were to be lobotomized, i wouldn't be able to tell.
so now my account is banned, and after telling this story to support, they won't unban it. its not only detailed as fuck, but true, too. for fucks sake, why would he buy an account and turn himself in? are you for real riot?
i'll stick around, but only for a bit, since i have a court hearing to go to. my asshole neighbour won't drop the charges, go figure. almost forgot, he drove over some of the nails when he drove his wife to the hospital. so now i have to pay for some tires too.
 
so tifu by getting my lol account banned.

TIFU by getting my League account banned