Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: throwaway because of rl friends jadajda. i'm a two days late because this happened on wednesday.

i'm a cop in germany and i had a day off duty. i decided to praise brodin in the iron temple that morning and therefore didn't shower after waking up. 
so, i'm about to head to the gym when my chief calls me. he asked if i could come to work in exchange for a sick colleague right then. i decided to make a good impression and head to our station.

in my last shift a crazy/drunk man threatened us with a knife, so we had to put him down with pepper spray (not the american way by putting a million bullets into his body ;) - he's fine). therefore i had to refill my pepper spray. i emptied the old bottle outside and got myself a new one.

as my shift goes by i receive a call from a girl i really like. just to make things clear i'm reeeaaaaaaaaaaallyyyyyy ^reeeeeealllyyy into her. she's amazing. anyways, she asks me to come over to her place that evening. nice. sexy time awaits hahahahahahaa......fuck. i didn't shower today and driving back home after work would take too long. my dick probably smells like garbage from masturbating multiple times the day before. and that morning aswell. 

because i had nothing to do that moment, i decided to head to the bathroom and yeah...wash my dick. carefully i free my little friend of the bad smell, go completely unnoticed and proceed to look forward for sexy times.

it took about 30 seconds until my dick started to itch. nothing to worry about i think as i get hit by a burning pain with the force of a thousand suns on my penis. fuuuuuuuuuuuck. the tip of my dick feels like it's on fire. i try to hide this horrible pain in front of my colleagues and head back to the bathroom.

then it hits me. i didn't wash my hands after handling the pepper spray. some of it must have stuck to my hands that i washed my dick with. fuck. it hurt so bad. imagine a thousand sharp needles penetrating the tip of your penis. holy mother of everything that is in this world so much pain.

it took about 30 minutes and a ton of water and soap to be painless again. my colleagues probably think i masturbated on duty because of the noises i made. i can never look at my penis again without a sense of regret. and the worst part of everything? there was no sexy time. fml.

TIFU by washing my dick at work