Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: dear reddit, today, i fu*ked up…

this happened a few weeks ago and now that i can finally type..  the first thing to do, *obviously *, is tell reddit.

valentines is around the corner and i've been working on making reclaimed wood coasters for my significant other and a custom engagement ring box to propose.

**(this next bit is important)**
in the middle of cutting a few slats for the coasters, i walked away because my dog was around the corner of the house sounding as if he was having an exorcism. (yelping & barking at a stray cat/dog, squirrel, who the fuck knows).  i clearly got distracted, and for whatever reason left the table saw on to go go check it out.  turns out he was jumping up the fence at a squirrel and caught it as soon as i made it over to him (mind you, he's a terrier/shepherd mix).  chaos ensues & he goes ape-shit on this thing, i'm talking scorched earth on this mofo.  swinging his head like medieval flail.  so i'm freaking the **fuck** out now.  with my push stick still in hand (used for the table saw) i don't know what else to do so i pop my dog on the ass with it to get his attention & he drops the squirrel.

**the fucker's still alive!!!**  i've never seen a squirrel move so fast in my life, let alone not expecting the damn thing to be breathing (thank rng he lived - this is directed at you, bot... no animals died during the making of my stupidity).


anyway, clearly distracted, i head back to the table saw *leaving my push stick* at the almost near-murder sight of this poor squirrel, and i had no effing clue where i left it. my head went blank due to all the chaos going on.  so, here's where i fucked up and got cocky.. 

(all of this happens within less than a minute)
i figured, *"meh what's the worse that can happen, i've been working with wood for 10 years, i just have *one more piece* to cut...."*

* table saw is already running (remember, i never turned it off)
* no push stick (left that shit at ground zero)
* proceeds to cut ("one more piece" of wood)
* **imminent danger:** i didn't realize i was on the *wrong side* of the table!

i lay the wood down, no push stick, wrong side of the table (blade was spinning away from me), and my hand is swiftly carried across the table with the wood..  i *rip* my left hand back as quick as my cat-like reflexes allow, thinking: "*i just dodged a bullet.  heh, not a scratch. smooth like butta."*

**wrong again**

i hear a high pitched death scream from behind me, my bestfriend is covering his mouth staring at my left hand.  just screaming bloody fu*king murder.  nothing set in yet, i had too much adrenaline, i assumed he was screaming because he saw what happened and it frightened him.

yea, no... my hand is covered in blood and just pouring on the concrete outside, i have successfully cut straight up my left *ring finger* (how ironic considering i'm making my girlfriend’s *engagement ring box* as well) and through to my palm.

i walked away with 16 stitches from the urgent care near by,  nerve damage to my left pinky/ring fingers and left side of palm on the outer edge.

 

nsfw images: [aftermath] (https://imgur.com/a/zwjwq)

healed images: [4 weeks later] (https://imgur.com/a/xp7x1)

edit 1: i wasn’t expecting this to get so much attention. damn, you sick bastards really love gore & mutilation lol. 

edit 2:  typos

* [no the saw doesn’t have a station (makita 2730)](https://i.imgur.com/0wywvmv.jpg), i drag it out when when needed & throw it up on a table, so i don’t have a fixed location i’m used to standing in.  it’s almost a uniform square and i was so caught up in my dog going ape-shit on a squirrel i wasn’t thing right. (obviously) - for those questioning the validity of my story call, bs if you will.
  *  i didn’t use a push stick/fence.  my hands were on either side the wood with the blade cutting in the middle.

edit 3: since so many people were asking; [here’s my crazy mutt, bolt.](https://imgur.com/gallery/ljqha)

TIFU by getting cocky & losing a fight with my table saw.