Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Backstory. My mom has always been great, but has never picked the best men. After a 20+ year marriage, she caught my stepdad cheating and they divorced. Infidelity aside, he was a world class prick. Misogynistic, racist, narcissistic, manipulative, etc. The divorce was nasty, but my mother made it out and had a new outlook on life. At this point, my wife (newly married) and my mother had a great relationship, like a sit and talk and laugh for hours type of relationship. 

Enter my mom’s new BF. At first he seems super nice and well behaved. Slowly, he starts to make little comments toward the women in my family. Never myself or my in-laws. Nothing awful, but things that suggested that he was in charge. If he ever crossed lines, he would pull that move where he pretended that it was a joke and that they couldn’t take it. He, for some reason, really singled out my wife. He spoke down to her and tried to flat out tell her what to do. At first, I didn’t even see it, or maybe ignored it as I grew up around this behavior. 

My wife and I move away (2yrs) then back to for a job. 

To speed up the story, the behaviors that I was concerned about are more prevalent when we return. Racist jokes to my in-laws, booze hidden around the house, etc. I speak to my sisters and they are divided, one likes him, the other does not. 

My mom’s house (which he lives in rent free because of complications with his divorce) has an on suite and we move in while we are waiting to close on our house. I start working right away when I’m gone, he takes issue with everything my wife says or does. She does it all wrong. My mom, is now short with my wife, parroting his issues and judgmental about her lack of job search (we agreed she wouldn’t look until we were settled). 

Naturally, we start avoiding them and figure, 3 more weeks and we are out of here. Then he demands that I bring my wife into the kitchen for a family talk and I fucking lose it. I call him out on all of it, anything that has been under the surface gets said. I Tell him I see right through his BS and the house feels an awful lot like it used to when my stepdad lived there. He gets aggressive with me and I jump out of my chair and he backs down. My mom is crying, calling me disrespectful. I am shouting that respect is earned. Blah, blah, blah. We calm down and he apologizes for ME not reading the situation correctly and puts his hand out. I storm out and ask my wife to start packing. 

Later my sister calls and says that they are worried about my “anger problem” and since then I have had minimal contact with my mom. 

I don’t feel bad about yelling at him. He, in my opinion, needed to be knocked down a peg or two and I needed to defend my wife. I do wonder if AITA for letting this come between my mom and I. We have a great relationship otherwise, but right now I have no interest in seeing her. I just can’t get over that fact that no responsibility was taken on his end and she acts blind to it. 

upsetting my mom