Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Hello everyone! This is my first time posting in this subreddit so sorry if this isn't the correct formatting. I'm Aria and I'm 17, and in 8 days I'm moving to a university dormitory on my own on the other side of the country. I've never really clicked with my parents, and I decided that now would be the best time to not *completely* cut them off, but definitely put some distance between us.

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My father is violent and always has been, and is not the most pleasant person to be around due to his temper. My mother is very passive, but is controlling, and put tremendous pressure on me since before school to study extremely hard (this is probably because she wasn't able to finish high school due to pregnancy). Between each other, they don't have the best dynamic - Dad was in his early thirties when he first met Mum, who was in her early-mid teens. Yeah. I don't really wanna talk about that. But you can probably guess the power dynamic between them. Due to my mother not really having much control, she exercises control by living vicariously through my older brother and I. 

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There have been lots of traumatic experiences I've had growing up either from tremendous academic pressure or my Dad's temper and substance abuse, numerous of which involved the police and at one point a domestic violence order was put in place to protect my brother and I. As such I've been going to counselling for the past 3 years. 

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Even though I'm finally moving out, I have to come back over Christmas. My brother is also moving out in a week but will live in the same city as my parents. He agreed that I could stay with him, but my mother absolutely did not take it well and made me feel horribly guilty and flat out refused. I played it off as I was only planning on staying with him for 2 weeks, but I think she's still weird about it. My university has the option for a preferred name, which I'm either putting my middle name or another name since I want this city and school that my parents haven't had contact with to be truly my own, and I feel that my first name is kinda looming over me.

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But I still feel the moral dilemma? My mother is a victim of my father's violence and control (as am I), but I can't deny the psychological damage done to me. I'm a first generation Australian and both of my immigrant parents are high school drop outs, so they had to work really hard just to feed us, which even then they couldn't often do (they would make US feel guilty for this but I still feel horrible and ungrateful). I wouldn't be cutting them off completely, but I feel that some distance is definitely needed and would be good for my mother too, so that she can maybe develop an identity outside of her children and reevaluate her relationship with my father.

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So reddit, what do you think? AITA for not wanting to live with them/changing my preferred name?

distancing myself from my helicopter parents