Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: so, i work at our city's largest hospital as a pca (basically, a nurse's assistant).  i've been training on our various icu's for the past month, and managed not fucking up until my last day on the medical icu. not once, but three times.

first, during a routine blood sugar test, i knocked on a patient's door twice.  receiving no response, i proceeded to enter and approach the bedside.  "ma'am? my name is danthefat2, i'm one of our pca's.  can you hear me?"  nothing.  she muttered and didn't open her eyes.  i figured she was sedated and started to clean off her finger with the prep pad.  "alright, i'm going to poke your finger real quick like, ready?"  i did my normal countdown and pricked her finger with the stylet.  still no response.  but while i was squeezing her finger to get enough blood to fill my machine, she woke up and started screaming.  i was accused of trying to rip off her finger, and she was not pleased with the current turn of events.  fortunately, my trainer was able to calm her down and we got the reading.

second, after a couple of hours had passed, the aforementioned patient was no longer convinced i was the devil and we had established a working relationship.  i would enter and explain everything i was doing, and she would glare at me. at one point, her nurse stated that she needed some help using the restroom.  i took this that she needed to be walked to the bedside commode, and proceeded to the room.  "ma'am, its me again.  i heard you needed the restroom.  if i can help you stand, do you think you can walk to the toilet?"  her response was an even icier glare than before, and i received a "no.  i need the bedpan."  in a quiet growl.  when i removed the blanket, it was then that i noticed the lack of legs on this furious woman.  afterwards, she and i got along much better.  she even laughed at a lame joke or two.

finally, we had a young girl arrive from the er after attempting suicide by overdose.  normally, i'll make some sort of lame vampire joke during my blood sugar checks to lighten the mood of the room granted the patient is conscious.  in this case, i decided to be 'cool' and 'hip' and comment that i was "our resident vampire.  i know i'm not as hot as edward..." but my comment was cut short by her mother frantically mouthing no over and over whilst shaking her head.  it was then that i found out that she attempted suicide over her boyfriend (who looked and sounded like robert pattinson) broke up with her.  her mood darkened slightly and she quit responding to me.  there were no hard feelings from the family, and the girl was discharged a day later.


tl:dnr; really?  you're just going to skip over my masterpiece?  you know what? no.  go back and read it.  

fine.  lady thought i was trying to murder her, then i asked her to walk with non-existent legs.  also accidentally reminded a girl as to why she attempted suicide.

TIFU in the Intensive Care Unit.