Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Oh GOD ok I have no idea what kind of reaction I’m going to get. Sorry about the formatting, I’m on mobile. And sorry if it’s super long, I have some pent up frustration!

So here is some background: I am a 19F Asian-American college student. My family is Indian. My parents immigrated to America shortly before I was born. I have lived in the New England area my entire life. I’ve been with my 19F boyfriend for almost 3 years (anniversary in April, yay!) and things are actually quite serious. We love each other a lot and have a plan for our future. My bf is actually not originally from the New England area, but from Georgia. He asked me to travel to Georgia for our week long spring break in March (we go to the same college) with him and his parents to meet the rest of his family. I really want to go, but here is the issue. 

My parents 100% disapprove of me traveling with a boyfriend. My moms exact words are: “Only trashy girls travel with their boyfriends.” Every time I hear that I roll my eyes as hard as I can. My parents  grew up in India in the 80’s, so I know it’s a cultural issue. But that statement upsets me because so many people I know travel with their boyfriends. Here are some other reasons they have given for not wanting me to go on the trip, kind of jumbled up into one paragraph:

I am too young to be in such a serious relationship. They are uncomfortable with how serious the relationship is. They don’t want me to travel with my boyfriend. What would their friends and family think of them? They think if I spend my spring break on vacation it means I am not focused on my studies. I am not an adult in their eyes and they can’t trust me (with what exactly I’m not sure). 

I want to say that I’m not an entitled kid. I’m simply not. I think about my parents’ feelings a lot before I ask to go anywhere or do anything. Up until a couple of weeks ago, my curfew was 9:30 pm, and my parents were slowly decreasing it to 9 pm, then 8:30. I finally negotiated 11:30, which I think is completely fair (NOTE: I don’t come home at 11:30 every night! I come home more around 9:30 or 10 anyway so that THEY can feel better about me being outside the house and so I can demonstrate that I am a responsible and conscientious person like I tell them I am. 11:30 is the time I absolutely have to be home, no matter what). I do what they ask and I always put their feelings first. If they are not comfortable with me going to a bar, for example, even if I promise not to drink, I just won’t go—even though I am 19 and could get into some of the bars in my home town. I do a lot to appease them because they are my parents, and I love them and respect their wishes. 

On this issue, I feel they are wrong. It would be a 5 day trip with my bf’s PARENTS. We’d be staying at his grandma’s house in separate rooms. I understand their discomfort as parents. I really do. This is new territory for them and I get that. But I feel that their reasoning is flawed, and this has been one of the only times I have questioned their verdict. My reasons for wanting to go are simple: I’ve never been to Georgia; I want to meet my boyfriend’s family; and my next opportunity to go won’t be for years as my bf and I are both pre-med and want to spend the rest of our semesters focusing 100% on studies. My parents a) do not believe that I want to go to Georgia for myself (they think I only want to go to please my boyfriend...) and b) think for some reason that my studies/ focus on my studies will be greatly impacted by this trip. It’s a vacation like any other. Would my studies be impacted if they brought me on a week long trip? Only as much as if I went on the trip to Georgia!

I plan on trying to get their blessing to go one more time, but if it doesn’t work, I plan on just giving them the heads up and going anyway. I know if I do this I will never hear the end of it for the rest of my life, so I am scared. But I am 19. I spend 5 days a week at school, and I study for the MCAT 5-6 hours every day WHILE studying for my other classes! I also manage to make time for clubs, the gym, and my lovely boyfriend. I would love to get this vacation in while I am still able to. I have tried giving in and telling my bf I can’t go, but he knows I really want to and is encouraging me to stand up for myself. My parents view him as very mature and wise beyond his years (which he is), so I am going to include him in my last plea when I sit to talk with my parents. Hopefully he can reassure them that it’s not as big a deal as they think it is. 

Note: my parent’s “blessing”/ permission to go is important to me because I seek their approval and I don’t want them to be mad at me about this. I can’t quite explain it, but I know Asian-American children of immigrants will definitely understand. I know plenty of other people understand as well lol, but all my Indian friends have similar relationships with their parents and similar expectations placed upon them, so I listed Asian-American children of immigrants for reference only!

Other very important note: I am paying for my expenses myself! I have a job. I will pay for my plane ticket, food, activities, everything. They are not contributing money for this trip. 

So reddit, if I go to Georgia with my boyfriend after my parents say no (if they say no), WIBTA? I will be consulting r/relationships again as well to prepare myself for any fallout from this (unless, of course, I and up being the asshole). If anyone is interested, I have a post about this situation on my profile if I left anything out or you are simply curious.

Thank you for your time and consideration, everyone!

travelling with my boyfriend even though my parents said no