Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: hi reddit. today i had a huge fuck up that i've been told to share with the internet. for context, i'm a 19 year old student and i have a full time job at a library for the summer. 

today was my last day of work for the summer before i headed back to university. i woke up at 9 am and got ready for work. after i was all ready, i headed down stairs to get some breakfast. i was pleasantly surprised to see that my mom had prepared an amazing last day of work/goodbye breakfast for me that included peanut butter toast, bacon, eggs and a peanut butter chocolate cake. i devoured the entire meal and most of the cake in minutes and then headed of to work.

i get to the library at about 10:30 am and start my shift. my duties include: sorting and shelving books as well as helping the occasional person find something (mostly the bathroom). about 15 minutes into my shift, as was shelving books, i noticed a little girl about 7 ish trying to reach a book on the top shelf. she was really struggling, so i walked over, grabbed it and then handed it to her. she says nothing and then runs and sits down to read the book i got her with her mom. 

i start walking back to my shelving spot thinking about what an ungrateful bitch she is and less then a minute later i hear a women screaming, "someone call 9-1-1! my baby!". this obviously attracts the attention of everyone in the entire library, including myself, who all rush over to see what happened. to my horror, down on the ground, passed out, pale as a ghost, barely breathing and swollen all over is the same ungrateful little girl that i helped get the book. 

initially, i think, well this is just hardcore karma (yes i'm a fucking asshole, i know, you don't need to tell me). then i called 9-1-1 and was trying my best to help out. when i get back from calling the paramedics, i try my best to get people to step back and give the girl space.  as i'm doing so the mother of this girl looks at me, recognizes that i helped her daughter out earlier and instantly freaks the fuck out, screaming at me, "what the fuck did you do to my daughter you fucking monster?!". she proceeds to yell at me for another few minutes while i was helping out, before my boss told me to give the lady some space because she was obviously agitated by my presence. 

fast forward 15 minutes later through the havoc. the paramedics have came and rushed the girl and her insane mother to the hospital. now, on the request of the mother, the police are now at the library telling me i have to come with them for questioning. so i (never had trouble with the law) head down to the station no questions asked. one cop leads me into a room and i start telling him everything i know. he tell me this girl is in critical condition and might not survive and proceeds to ask me all kinds of questions (no lawyer because i assume i've done nothing wrong). then about a half an hour later, an officer comes in and tells me and the other officer that the girl wasn't poisoned and that she had a severe allergic reaction to peanuts. 

i think nothing of it, and assume that i will be free to go. but then, before i went the cop asked one last question , "did you eat any peanut products today?"

at this point, everything came together. i eat a fuck ton of peanut products and got them all over my hands, didn't wash my hands (just wiped them off) touched the book and gave it to the girl. that was apparently enough to set off her allergy and almost kill the girl. at this point my mind is racing, i assume that the girl is going to die, that i'm going to be arrested and sentenced to life in jail for murder. my whole fucking life is gone. 

i tell the cop everything that i ate, told him i had no idea, i didn't mean to, begged for my life etc. he just laughs the whole thing off  (he apparently got an update that the girl was fine and recovering) and tells me that i'm not in trouble and that we just needed to fill out some forms. 

i get out of the police station at about 1:30 pm, 3 hours since i arrived at work. i rush to the hospital and try to find out how the little girl is doing. i see my boss in the waiting room and he tells me that the girl is recovering and she's going to be ok. i have never been so relieved in my life. he asks about how the police questioning went and i tell him about how it was all a misunderstanding and that i just had traces of peanut butter on my hands from breakfast (thinking it was no biggie because the cop wasn't really worried about it). my boss goes red and tells me we've got to talk outside. we head outside and for the next 5 minutes he rips me a new asshole. our conversation summarized went a little something like this. 

boss: "you fucking idiot! what the fuck were you thinking not washing your hands! we have a nut free policy!"

me: "sorry."

boss: "you could've fucking killed a 7 year old girl! do you know the shit storm the city is going to be in for this?"

me: "sorry."

boss: "lawsuits ben, lawsuits! you're fired! you're not working for us next summer! get the fuck out of here!"

me: "sorry." (i'm canadian)

i leave the hospital absolutely destroyed about the entire incident (especially the getting yelled at by my boss), hoping to just drive home and cri myself to sleep. fuck today sucked (i know my day was not nearly as bad as the mother and her child but still). i hope you guys can get a good laugh from my pain. 

please don't mind my bad writing.

TIFU by Almost Killing a Child by Helping Them get a Book and