Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this happened about an hour ago. i live with three friends. two of them, who are dating, recently adopted an adorable year-old heinz 57 puppy. we soon discovered he has horrible separation anxiety, tearing up everything in sight, shitting all over the place, and barking at the top of his lungs if he's left alone for even a minute. 

cue the fuck up. i got a text from a friend to meet them outside, and in my rush to leave the apartment forgot that two of my roommates were gone and one was napping in her room. i also didn't notice that heinz was curled up on the couch and not securely in his crate. 

i was outside for about 20 minutes, and when i came back inside the apartment was torn apart. he had raided the garbage and strewn it all over the kitchen and living room. he had managed to move the couch out of place and drag the blankets off it. worst of all, i found torn up wrappers from chocolate candy in various places around the apartment. looked on the table, and sure enough, several pieces of candy were missing. i found a bag of reese's peanut butter cups under the sofa, torn open, chewed, and obviously not quite as full as it was before.

now my beloved roommate and best friend, god bless her, is not always the most calm or forgiving person. i had two options - hope that the dog hadn't eaten enough to seriously harm him, or tell her, a new dog owner, what happened and watch her freak out, rush him to the vet, and make me pay the several hundred dollar bill. i am a broke college student. i went with the former. made sure nothing was out of place in the apartment, and gave him some more food to dilute it (have no idea whether that is scientific) and am currently hoping for the best. he weighs 50lbs and hopefully only ate a few pieces.

i'm more concerned about what they're gonna say when he starts shitting out chocolate wrappers. 

 

update: it's been about 5 hours and no symptoms. he seems perfectly happy.

TIFU by possibly poisoning my roommate's dog