Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Hi Reddit, 

Please impart your wisdom on me.

Some background: My family comes from a South Asian background. In my culture, it’s gravely disrespectful to make a guest feel unwelcome at any moment while they are within your home or visiting you. You are expected to bend over backwards to be hospitable, which is usually fine by me, except I was raised in Canada and am much more opinionated than the average woman from the home country. 

Recently, my aunt and her two children (a female cousin and a male cousin) visited Canada and therefore my family for the first time.  I had never met my cousins before because their family took refuge in a different western country when our families immigrated out of the home country a couple decades ago. None of our families had money to travel until recently. 

The cousins are in their early twenties, as am I. I didn’t really jive with my female cousin so much, and I especially didn’t like her tendency to gossip behind closed doors. I still gave her a chance though, kept it all pretty civil and polite (and most importantly hospitable) until one evening.

We were all at my home. She and my father were gossiping about and making fun of one of our relatives who is an outspoken feminist. They obviously didn’t agree with some of this relatives views but rather than having healthy debate about it, they were mocking her behind her back and having a laugh at her expense. This relative happens to be one of my favourite family members, and someone whom I look up to and admire a lot. She really didn’t deserve this. She’s done a lot for the female members of our community and should be commended for demanding equal treatment of women in a culture that is known for sometimes oppressing women’s rights.

I walked right up to them and said they were completely out of line for speaking this way about my relative. If they didn’t like her views, they could take it up with her in person instead of mocking her behind her back. I said I wouldn’t stand to have people disrespect her in such a cowardly way without her present to defend herself, and told them to cut it out. 

My father thought that I was being out of line by trying to ‘censor’ their speech. He later told me in private that I had no right to make my cousin feel uncomfortable in our home, and that I should apologize to her. I told him she had no right to be a disrespectful house guest, and refused to apologize. I was also disappointed with him for participating in that discussion with her, but he didn’t think he did anything wrong because in his view, they were just talking about the relative’s views, not bashing them and mocking them. 

My female cousin never brought this encounter up to me again, but I could tell that she was a little less happy during the rest of her trip. She continued to gossip and talk badly about some family members. When she left, I was relieved. 

Was I the asshole? 

'censoring' my cousin and father when they were gossiping about my favourite relative