Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: I'm probably gonna be the asshole.

So my (27F) step dad and I have a weird relationship. He was introduced to me at age 7, they got married and we moved away at 8. I had a traumatic meltdown during this point (even cried at their wedding) because I felt like I was being ripped away from my real home with my grandparents to live with my mom and a stranger. At this point in my life, I was probably more attached to my grandmother than to my mom, so the thought of leaving just broke my heart. 

Mom was one of those people who pushed the step dad on me, like would point out every thing they did that was "nice" and shoved it in my face to prove they were great. Like "hey Paul just said this about you isnt that nice" or "hey Paul got you this thing isnt that nice" when she clearly is the one who bought it?? 

I also had issues with him because he would lose his temper and raise his voice over stupid stuff. Me, having previously had no father figure and my side of the family is pretty quiet, would get upset by this easily. So for example when eating supper and my mom overcooked the porkchops so much they were dry as sand, I was kind of picking at them. He loudly exclaimed that if I didnt finish them hed drag me to my room "BY THE HAIR". So...ya....scared shitless. He also broke our ps2 once out of rage of losing and threw the controller into the wall. 

ANYWAY he kind of mellowed out after it seemed i had a career path I was sticking on and succeeding at etc. So the relationship isnt presently bad. 

I have 2 brothers (one is Paul's with his ex wife, one is a half brother from my mom and paul) and just a few weeks ago realized we all had the same experience. I thought Paul was only awful to me but turns out they got it bad too. The youngest half sibling is in gr 12 and it seems like Paul has turned to emotional abuse and makes comments about his weight and anxiety and basically mocks him all day. Mom just stands by, probably knows its wrong but also doesnt say anything. 

After hearing this my feelings for Paul have absolutely dropped, it brought back a lot of memories that are painful with him, and to see what hes doing to my sweet brother kills me because it's similar to him mocking my anxiety constantly. 

Ok so that's the backstory- heres the issue

Paul's brother died yesterday by euthanasia due to a long painful battle with cancer. I do feel terrible about it. Mom messaged me yesterday and was like "say something nice to Paul about this"  which A. Comes across as fake to me  and B. At the moment I'm not extremely comfortable talking to him right now. The dredging up of all these feelings makes it hard for me to communicate with him. 

She wont stop messaging me about it and I keep ignoring those texts, so she called me an AH and that family just sucks it up to be there for eachother. 

AITA if I don't send a condolence message basically forced by my mom?

not texting something nice to my step dad for when his brother died recently