Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: I have a 50-50 custody arrangement of my 8 year old daughter (Lisa) with my ex-wife/her mother (Ariana). For the past few years I have been making it a point to not attend events that Ariana is attending, and she has not been attending events that I attended. If it were up to Ariana, we would be chums - I, however, do not wish to have a friendly relationship with her. A civil relationship for the child's benefit is all that is necessary.

Lisa joined a sports team this year, and the year-end banquet is coming up, at a restauraunt 10 minutes from my home. Ariana informed me that she would like to attend. I requested that since Ariana attended the first game of the year (which was scheduled on 'my' day) that I be able attend the banquet (which also happens to be scheduled on 'my' day) alone this year, and she attend next year's banquet. Ariana replied that she would be there "no matter who has her that day". She offered to sit at a separate table and that Lisa would sit with me. 

I explained to her that I did not think it was best for Lisa to have both parents at the event, but only be able to sit with one, and that sitting together was out of the question - I have no interest in conversing with Ariana. I reiterated my request to switch who takes her each year, and that I be able to take her to the first one (since she attended the first game). 

After a few more exchanges with this same story playing out, she informed me she had explained to Lisa (she was home with her at the time) the situation, and had explained my feelings about not wanting to sit at the same table with Ariana, while in the same email explaining my feelings incorrectly.

I told her that I didn't think it was the right thing to do to put Lisa in the middle of this argument, and that it wasn't her place to tell Lisa how I felt about the situation. I informed her that constituted disparaging me to Lisa, and was justiciable - then told her not to do it again. 

I then told her that I had discussed the situation with Lisa (I waited a day so I could discuss it with her in person), and that Lisa did not want to be put in a situation where she had to choose between her parents, and that Ariana will be taking Lisa to the banquet by themselves this year, and that I would like to take Lisa myself next year. I also included that Lisa said this seemed a fair way to do it. I know this seems hypocritical considering I just called Ariana out for it, however... damage control.

Ariana replied that she is not taking Lisa to the banquet just because I decided she would, since it will be 'my' day - that I needed to make it work. She said if she finds out that Lisa doesn't go because I was "too busy" that day, it's my fault that Lisa was unable to attend. 

TL/DR - I wanted to take her by myself. She said no, she's coming too. I said, fine, you take her. She said, no, you bring her and if you don't you're the parent at fault. 

Am I the asshole?

not attending a child's event with my ex-wife