Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Prepare for some meta-ass mental cartwheels. 

Firstly, I overthink and care what people think of me. According to him, my roommate doesn’t overthink or care what people think of him. Earlier today, he, my boyfriend, and I had a discussion about the etiquette of paying for meals.

I approached it as a spirited debate. However now I see that I targeted my roommate in a long-winded rant. I said something like, “While you might feel like it’s the polite thing to do, you’re actually the asshole for refusing to accept gifts from people.” Note I said “you,” directing the lecture at him regarding a specific instance. That was shitty. He was amiable up until I said "asshole," which he stiffened at.

I apologized for calling him an asshole. He responded by saying that since he doesn’t care what I say about him, he doesn’t need an apology, and that my apology is irrelevant. 

I pointed out that even if he wasn’t affected by being called an asshole, I was affected by calling him an asshole. Refusing my apology when it means something to me and nothing to him, does in fact make him an asshole. He laughed, agreed, and left it at that.

While I apologized for using the word “asshole,” I should have apologized for lecturing him in the first place. Looking back, I see my lecture was unsolicited and condescending, which my apology didn't cover.

Since he did a shit job at accepting my first apology, do I bother offering a revised one? Did he refuse because it was not sufficient (something I can change) or because he's spiteful (something I can't change)?

Lastly, if he’s the person he says he is, then he has already forgotten about this. But if he actually cares, then it might make him feel better. Mostly it would make me feel better (but it shouldn’t be about me). 
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TLDR: I apologized for calling my roommate an “asshole” while lecturing him about etiquette. Really, I should have apologized for lecturing him in the first place. He called my apology “irrelevant” since he doesn’t care what anyone says about him. Would revising my apology make it better or worse?
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PS: There’s a sliver of chance he’ll see this in which case: Sorry again dude, I hope you’re more amused than offended.


calling my friend an asshole? probably. however, do I owe him an revised apology after he rude about my first apology