Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: So, long story short, my gf has always struggled with stress, anxiety, and depression, and I don’t think I can be around it anymore.

We have been together for close to 5 years now, and this has always been an issue that I was vocal about, but my concerns seem to be falling on deaf ears. When we started dating, we were both in a really dark place emotionally, and I know that we helped pull each other up and out of the worst of it. 

Since then, I have continued to try to improve myself and be just less sad and mopey all the time. And it worked. I know this doesn’t work for everybody, but eventually I just decided I wasn’t going to be sad anymore and faked it one day at a time until I didn’t have to fake it anymore.

But in all this time (I’d guess the last 3 years?) she has been actively opposed to do anything that I see as proactive:

Start exercising together everyday? No deal.

Stop going out to eat every week (often several times)? Absolutely not.

Go out hiking on the weekends? Too tired.

Local band playing? They probably suck, let’s not.

Stop smoking so much weed everyday? But how will I be hungry?

Go to a doctor and see about meds? YOU THINK I’M CRAZY AND YOU HATE ME!! (That one was a long time ago, but has prevented the subject from coming up again)

The worst thing for me is the complaining. There is always something wrong with everything. Not only does she act like nothing is ever good enough, but she acts like everything is actively getting worse just for her. I have made it very clear that I don’t want to hear her complain or whine, and she replies that “it’s something I need to do or I’ll just trap it inside and explode.”

That doesn’t seem like enough of a reason to complain about everything all the time. We moved to a city where she got a job that she really wanted and every single morning it’s “I don’t wanna go! I don’t feel good! Everything is terrible!” When in reality, she likes the job and the people she works with. On top of that, I did not want to move to this city and wanted to go somewhere else where we might both have jobs in our field, but instead she works the good job and I’m finding whatever I can around town making peanuts. 

Ok, I feel like I’m just ranting now. 

My problem is that I feel like she helped me out of depression by just being around, and she refuses to let me help her by doing the same. Am I wrong to be at my wits end about all the complaining? Am I an actual monster for no longer sympathizing with her depression? Is it wrong of me to want to just stop trying to help her because she won’t help herself?

I know I’ve probably painted a much more one sided version of this than I meant to, so please feel free to ask any questions that might help. I love her and care deeply about her well being, but I feel like I’m the only one trying to do anything about it.

AITAH?


not being able to deal with my gf's stress, anxiety, and depression anymore