Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: dear reddit, i have been lurking upon this website for years now. today however, i thought i would make my first account, along with my first post. so lets get, shall we? 

 so i proposed to my girlfriend of a year and a half, lucky me. it has been 8 months since then and she is now 7 months pregnant and we share the same bank account, recently got a loan to buy a house and we have been living together for about 2 years. she is always needs help when it comes to doing anything online, or anything more advanced than a ti-32 calculator for that matter. so its safe to say she has no idea/she wants to give the illusion that she has no idea how to work technology. 

 so anyways, she likes to go through my facebook, if i leave it open. i don't even use facebook much. which make her angry, because she doesn't think i post enough pictures of us or make it public that i love her. anyways, she'll look through my messages, pictures and posts.  if for any instance a girl messages me, for any reason, and she sees it she'll respond telling her "to fuck off he is taken." it wouldn't matter if i responded or even saw it, she would always ask me about it at night. 
 
 today and most of yesterday i fucked up extremely badly though. i assumed since she always needs help using technology she wouldn't know how to look at internet history. yup, you know what this is going to be about already. so yesterday after i got done with work, my 7am-1pm job, she wanted to have sex before we both went to work again (her at subway: 4pm-close or 9:30pm) (me at the downstairs bar of a hotel: 5pm-12am-ish, i don't get out at exactly 12 on every night.) i told her i was too tired and didn't feel like it. which i thought was reasonable, i mean i work about 13 hours monday, wednesday, friday and saturday, and about 6 on days i don't work both jobs and i am lucky if i ever get a day off. she asked me out of the blue what porn i watch. i'm sitting there thinking, do i tell her? or do i not? i mean i've never in my life have been asked this question. so without google to help me out, i try to play coy about the question at hand saying i'd rather not talk about it. she continues to ask me and says that she will probably find out someday anyways. she eventually asks me if i even watch porn as we are cuddled on the couch watching youtube. my answer was a sarcastic "oh no, never in my wildest dreams." 
     
 this was apparently not as satisfying of an answer as i was hoping. i know this because later that night, i'm still working, at 10:05pm she sends me a text "you disgust me so much right now"
       
 i respond immediately with "wait what?" "what did i do?"
 
 she proceeds to wait a half hour to respond back, sends me a picture of a porn video and begins to rant on me. about how she isn't good enough, how i make her want to vomit, how she is never going to sleep with me again, yelling at me for not having sex with her in between my two jobs and only wanting to sleep after work, and also crying about how she doesn't think she is enough for me if i have to ever masturbate.

 this is where i tell her i will talk after work, mainly because the particular bar i work at does happy hour till close on saturdays to increase sales and it gets quite busy as you could imagine with $2 bottles of beer and $4 martinis. she then comes to my work at 11:45pm and just lurks in the back of the bar with her friend. after work (about 12:25am) i am walking to my car and she is yelling at me in the parking lot of my work about this very same shit. i tell her i don't want to have this conversation in my work's parking lot, its not the right place or time. she then stops and yells so fucking loud that its good that i enjoy my hand so much, because i am never getting any ever again. 

 on the drive home i call her and try to explain the best i can that masturbation is a healthy and natural thing in life and how it helps prevent prostate cancer and helps relieve stress (she had a stupid quip about the stress thing after i was done), and helped people feel comfortable with who they are sexually. i also tell her i form no emotional attachment to the girls what so ever and i don't do it very often, 3-4 times a week (it just looks bad because i want to find the right video, shame on me, making to look like i do it more often). also i told her that to be honest i'm only trying to please myself and so it takes like a minute. this doesn't help my case and she begins her ranting again when we get home. so here we are at home i'm trying to plead my case to my hormonal, pregnant girlfriend and she like a corrupt judge is having absolutely none of it. so eventually through a series of shoulder rubs and scalp massages i get her to come to bed with me. she actually wants to have sex, so we do. so i fall asleep thinking that everything is alright... but nope. to misquote shakespeare "hell hasth no fury like a women's scorn." in this morning she nicely wakes me up by yelling at me. telling me that she and her friend watched every video, and says that we still aren't alright. now ladies and gentlemen, this is where i really fucked up. this whole story, is just the tip of the iceberg. for my balls (figuratively) much like the grinch's heart, grew four sizes today, as i said with a completely straight face "you should try masturbating some day." she then picked up her purse and put her shoes on, and i tried to say it was a joke, but when i got into the living room to tell her, she just got done feeding our cat and throws the whole container of cat food at me and yells "you have enough time to masturbate and sleep but not enough to feed my cat!" and storms out. 
 
so now here i am, posting this on reddit, instead of fixing my relationship. i think i have my priorities straight. hope you enjoy my fuck-up of the day, along with my first ever post.

TIFU by thinking my fiance didn't know how to use the internet. (possible NSFW)