Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: To (hopefully) keep things simple, i’ll refer to the main actors as “J” “X” “Y” and “Z”. My goal is to give you a no spin version of the story. I’ll be around for any clarification and updates if necessary. 

Context:

Z used to date Y, who now dates X. 

Z and X know each other but aren’t friends (read: don’t know each other well)

I am best friends with J, and decently good friends with Z and X.

J is friends with Z and X in the same way as I am.

So:

A few months ago I was at Z’s home. He asks me in a one on one convo if X and Y are dating. I say yes, and he follows that up with telling me that Y sent him a “love letter” recently and expressed empathy for X’s situation. (Remember, Z and Y are exes) He asked me to keep that a secret and I obliged...And that was the end of the conversation. Here’s what I know about the letter: Nothing other than he said it was a “love letter” and Z said he felt bad for X. 

I decide it’s best to say nothing. To anyone...but-

Fast forward a month or two, hadn’t thought about it since. I’m a bit drunk and my friend J and I are talking. X and Y come up in conversation. I can’t remember exactly the context/how, but I let slip a bit of what Z told me. J presses for the full story, I end up telling him what I know, and i’m certain I didn’t exaggerate. J immediately wants to tell X, but I asked him not to. Especially since I told Z I would keep it private. 

fast forward again to this previous weekend (a month or so later). J was in a conversation with X and told him about the letter Y sent Z. Shit def hit the fan, but I wasn’t around for it. I still don’t know what the fallout is/was.

That’s the story stripped of everyone’s (me included), emotions/arguments/POV/etc, just the facts. 

———

I feel like I’m in a bit of a lose/lose situation. 

Am I the asshole for withholding the “love letter” info on X’s relationship with Y? If so, am I at fault for what comes after?

Aside from not telling J about the letter (which, in my head, is my most clear violation) is there anything I should have done/should do differently? 

(Side question: is a stripped version of the story more or less helpful?)


withholding damaging info I received in private