Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: So my brother and I have always been fairly close (we have no other siblings), and a few years back, he told me he was going to propose to his long term girlfriend. I was ecstatic for him - I offered to go ring shopping with him (I’m female and he said he was clueless about rings), I jokingly asked to be best man or a groomsman (I wasn’t seriously expecting to be either), or literally anything else in the wedding, as I was (and still am) genuinely really happy for them.

The wedding day gets closer - I’m getting excited and my brother’s keeping me in the loop about who his groomsmen are going to be, venue, etc. Myself and my now sister-in-law have never been very close (as far as I’m aware, there’s no bad blood between us, we’re just very different people and have never really ‘clicked’, but she’s a great match for my brother and we get along well enough), so I’m not in the loop on her side of the planning, and that’s fine - I didn’t expect to be. I get the impression from my parents that she’s doing most of the wedding planning, as a lot of brides tend to do. Anyway, I hear through my parents that there probably aren’t going to be any bridesmaids, so I don’t think about it any further, and I’m just getting excited for the big day. 

Big day roles around. We’re in the church service, and both her parents and my parents have certain roles in the ceremony (speeches etc), so for a good portion of it, I’m stood in the front row alone while they’re all up by the alter. Still, it’s no big deal, and I’m not questioning anything at this point. My sister-in-law starts coming down the aisle, and her sister (her only other sibling) and her best friend are bridesmaids. This is a surprise to me because I didn’t think she was having bridesmaids. 

After the ceremony, we head to the reception. We’re all about to take our assigned seats for the meal, and my mother rushes over to me as I’m making my way to the head table (I’d just assumed I’d be sat there with my immediate family), and she tells me I’m not seated at that table. I’m really confused at this point - it’s just me, my brother and parents in the immediate family (and we’re not at all close with our extended family, particularly those on my father’s side, some of whom we hadn’t seen in years). My sister-in-law’s immediate family is just her sister and her parents, who are all seated at the head table at this point, along with my brother and my dad. 

My mother tells me it’s not traditional for anyone other than the parents and the bridesmaids to be at the head table. She says it’s traditional for all other relatives to sit with the family they share a last name with, so I’m therefore seated with my dad’s family, who I barely know. I had and still have no real clue about traditional wedding etiquette (does this set-up sound right?), so even though I’m bummed I won’t be sat with them, it’s their day, so it’s their call, so I go and sit with dad’s family without complaint. 

So for the whole meal, my immediate family are eating on the head table stage, having a great time, making speeches and taking tons of pictures. It was getting harder and harder to not cry as the meal went on (particularly when my bitchy aunt asked if I was upset that I wasn’t sat with them... ugh), but I managed to keep it together and act normal because i didn’t want to ruin their day. I was just really sad not to be part of it, and that was compounded by being sat with people who, frankly, are basically strangers to me.

The after party went on for a while and I barely got a chance to talk with my brother and now-sister-in-law because they were partying with their friends and her/my parents. When I did manage to speak with them, I made sure to congratulate them, tell them how great the venue was, how lovely her dress was etc etc, so I made sure not to make it about myself. 

Towards the end of the night, everyone was drunk, and being an introvert at a social event, I was mostly either awkwardly trying to mingle with strangers, or awkwardly sitting by myself and trying not to appear awkward. It felt like being at a party with strangers, so I eventually called a taxi back to my hotel before my parents etc left (I don’t think they or my brother even noticed I left early).

Anyway, I didn’t say anything about it for about a year, because I don’t want to be THAT person - the a*hole who makes someone else’s wedding day all about them. 

I did eventually ask my brother why it didn’t seem like he wanted me to celebrate with him - I also wasn’t in any of the photos throughout the day (or in the professional photos taken at the church before the ceremony), so it always just seemed strange to me. My brother said that his wife did most of the wedding planning, he mentioned the tradition thing like my mom had said, and he also said that it was basically just an oversight that I wasn’t really included on the day. 

AITA for still being upset/confused by this? I keep thinking maybe I’m overreacting, but if I’m not overreacting then.... why didn’t they want me to be a part of their wedding day? I really don’t understand it because if I got married, I would want my big brother to be there with me throughout. 

being upset that I wasn't part of my brother's wedding