Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: obligatory "this happened years ago, blah blah" message here. 

i was reminded of this today, when i thought about the biggest screw-up of my life when posed the question, "what was your biggest fml moment?", this isn't even a moment, it's a whole chapter of my life. 

i pulled this memory from the deepest sanctum of my memory vault, and i aim to put it back there. 

for the purposes of this story, we'll call the girl "kate winslet", and we'll call myself.. "leonardo dicaprio".. because i don't win the oscar in this story.

here is my story...

when i was in highschool, around 15/16 (i'm 20), i had a massive crush on a girl in the year above me, i feel we clicked pretty well. 

we were both music students, and we spent our lunchtimes in the music classrooms jamming away, i was a guitarist, kate winslet was a singer, a winning combination! 

we were into a lot of the same things, and all that mumbo-jumbo and things that make good relationships, yadda yadda. i'd catch her staring at me, we'd lock eyes, and she'd smile.. that was a smile that would've made anyone who saw it fall in love. 

it certainly wasn't a one-sided thing like most high-school crushes, lets just say that there was music in the air. 


here is where things get interesting... i start hearing rumours that kate winslet is into some guy, and i hear these rumours for around a week, when one day i catch the guys name.. 

it's.. leonardo dicaprio!!! 

rewind the tape! 

leonardo dicaprio!!! 

as you can imagine, i'm somewhat over the moon. i bottle up my courage for about 2 weeks until i have enough courage points to cash them in and seal the deal. 

i'm sitting in the library when her and her friends come in, we exchange pleasantries as you do and afterwards i begin to open my mouth to say, "hey kate winslet, mind if i talk to you outside for a bit?", eager to just do it before i lose my courage, when suddenly her friend says, "so how long have you two been dating now?", gesturing to me and kate winslet, and i suddenly can't even.

kate winslet laughs awkwardly and says, "it's not this leonardo dicaprio, he's from another school". 

rewind the tape again. 

"not this leonardo dicaprio, he's from another school". 

at this point, i pretty much die internally. 

this probably wouldn't have been as much of a blow if i was called "john smith", but i'm not, my first name is so rare that i've only ever known one other person with that name; the man who stole my girl.. 

my second name? only ever seen it on a few people, my family for a start, and the man who stole my girl. 


as you can imagine, this created incredibly awkward tension between me and kate winslet, we stopped hanging out because we were bombarded with people who didn't know the truth, and it was like all the suffering was crushing me. 

i had people coming up to me and talking to me as if i was dating her and every day i had to be reminded that i lost out to "myself". 

people always wonder how rumours can hurt people, well this is how;

take a tablespoon of embarrassment, add an ounce of regret, 3 cupfuls of lost opportunities, a dash of rumours and a heaping, barrel-full of ignorance. mix thoroughly and spread everywhere the eye can see.


fast-forward a while, and she had broke up with the other leonardo dicaprio, it was the same year, and i respectfully waited for her to get over him before asking her out, and saying how i'd felt all this time. 

alas, kate winslet already hooked up with someone else in the time i'd waited, she was really sorry, she knew i liked her from before, but perhaps she couldn't get over the incident either. 

they were pretty happy together, and i was happy for her. i just moved on, we talked but tried to keep our distance. 


a few months after this, she starts skipping school, feigning illness, etc. and i even heard rumours that she'd started smoking, which may have just been malicious rumours, it's how high school students are. 

eventually i heard that she had split with her boyfriend, and her friends talked about it quite somberly, as if it really hit her hard, and i thought that much was obvious, i thought it explained her recent behaviour. 

i break my distancing to comfort her, i thought perhaps we could both put aside the awkward "name incident" and just be friends again. 

i was there to be her shoulder to cry on, and she did a lot of it. i never brought up her break up, until one day.. 

a while had passed since they broke up, maybe around a month or so, and when i felt she was a little happier, i asked her why they broke up, it seemed like they were happy together for a long time, the break-up was just so sudden. 

well.. 

he had died, it was a car accident. 

she didn't speak to me again after i asked her that, and this memory became that, a memory. 

thanks for listening to the biggest fuck-up of my life so far. 

she may have been the first girl i ever loved.

TIFU by having a crush on a girl.