Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this happened about 2 and a half years back on a friday night, and i gotta tell ya it was a pretty defining moment in my life. 

let me preface with, i know we were complete idiots in this situation. ya don't have to tell me twice.
quick back story for context: i had dated this girl for a month or two and things petered out. we had never really become friends on a deeper level and were so focused on our infatuation with eachother that it didn't go very far. anyways, after not seeing her for a couple months i decided to try sparking up a platonic friendship with her. she really was an awesome person, and i did want a relationship with her. i just knew we had to start it off slow and in the right direction.

so that's what we did, and a couple months later after hanging out a lot casually, we were the best of friends (i'm hardcore downplaying this, we were tight). 

well, one night we were out on a drive around town and she says to me, "we should go get drunk at your place, your parents have a liquor cabinet right?" this was out of nowhere as we were both what you'd consider "goodie goodies" our whole lives up until this point. did i forget to mention we were both 18 and 19 at the time? oh and that neither of us had ever drank before? this was definitely a stupid idea, especially since my parents were extremely conservative 100% anti-drinking-before-you're-21 kinda parents (ok fine, just my mom). but, it was about 9 oclock, they were more than likely already in bed and asleep. what the heck, i thought. 

so we show up at my place in my car, hers was at her dad's house (little did i know this was the 1st official fu of the night). once inside, parents were definitely asleep and we wasted no time discovering the alcoholic treasures that lay within the liquor cabinet. we were so stupid. several shots of whiskey, vodka, gin, and bourbon later we were...inebriated, to say the least (and apparently she had snuck like 3 shots behind my back as well). that was the 2nd official fu of the night. i half-heartedly clean up our boozy mess and she makes her way...to the floor. "i don't feel so good..." she slurred, clenching her stomach. we both end up on the couch as she's laying there totally sick, i'm trying to comfort her, she's slipping in and out of consciousness. i'm just doing my best to hold her without seeming like i'm trying to take advantage of her or something. out of nowhere she whispers, "i love you. you're so good to me." ohhhh boy. those were the words i wanted to hear. but even in my drunken stupor i knew the alcohol had to be playing some part in what she was saying. "i have a feeling that's the alcohol talking", i replied. "no, i know what i'm saying, i love you", she responded. snap, i felt like a million drunken bucks!

but as quickly as the romance had entered the room, the alcohol truly reared its ugly head. 
she gurgled something like, "oh no, i have to throw up!" and teetered to the bathroom. the next few hours consisted of her in the bathroom, door closed, head on a pillow, throwing up, dry heaving, in and out of consciousness, and me outside the door trying my best to be comforting, bring her water, and not make the experience any more embarrassing than it already was. when she seemed to be done expelling fluids and it was beyond time for bed (about 3am if i remember correctly), neither of us were in any condition to drive. so, i carried her upstairs as quietly as possible (still impressed with myself for doing that in a drunken ninja state) and laid her down in my bed while i slept on the floor, monitoring her all night to make sure she didn't die of alcohol poisoning in the middle of the night (no sexy time, people. i'm not that guy). 

in the morning, i knew i had one mission: get my parents out of the freaking house at all costs. i had her hide in my closet in the morning and promised i'd get them out of the house somehow, at which point she could hide outside and i'd join her to discuss the previous night's events. well, that plan didn't go very smoothly. long story short, it took probably 2 hours for them to finally leave to go grocery shopping or whatever they did. but over the course of that 2 hours i was texting her back and forth apologizing profusely for failing to get them out earlier, and throwing every diversion i could at them to just give her an open window to run out the front door. nothing. at one point i heard an audible "thump" upstairs which alerted my parents. "oh must be a bird hitting the house or something!" i quickly chimed in. can't believe that even worked. i later found out she dropped her phone. that could have been so bad...i even tried pretending i saw a rat in the garage. nobody cared, lol. 

anyways, my parents eventually left the house, and she was finally able to pee for the first time in hours. we ran to starbucks and discussed everything, i dropped her off, we threw up a couple times.

and we'll be going on 2 years of marriage this coming february :)

 

and that kids, is how i met your mother. 

edit: i get it people, the title should read "ex girlfriend at the time".

edit 2: yep, we got married a few months later.

TIFU by getting really hammered with my ex-girlfriend