Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: not today. 3 months ago. so what?

i'm a 34 year old white guy. i wear glasses. not the alpha type. 

having dinner with wife at sports bar. drunken asshole abusing staff. somehow we catch his attention. hits on my wife, calls me a pussy. 

we decide to have our dinner to go. pay our tab and leave.

backing my (new to me) car out of my parking spot, drunken douche proceeds to pelt my hood with rocks from the flower garden. 

this crosses a line with me. i put the car in park and get out to reason with him. he takes a swing and misses. i take a swing and connect, and then another. both to the left side of his cranium (upper jaw area).  

at this point, my wife yelled "i'm calling the cops", and the man took off.  i let him go. cops showed up and took our statement, interviewed the staff (who corroborated my story), and sent us on our way. i felt suitably like a badass, having gotten the better of him.

the next day, my hand was double it's normal size.  fractured a tiny bone where the hand meets the wrist (boxer's fracture?).  too close to the joint, so it required surgery. $23,000 worth of surgery to install a tiny screw. my insurance sucks, so i paid almost 1/3 of that out of pocket.

TIFU by punching a guy in the head.