Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: [happened yesterday, i'm sitting at my desk here starting day 2]

[long post, consider this your warning]

[disclaimer: i have to keep things semi vague for obvious reasons. throwaway account for the same reason]


this morning i got up, put on my slacks and button up shirt, grabbed a cup of coffee and headed out the door. i drove straight to work, a small office in a place surrounded by gas stations, fast-food joints, and strip malls. i pulled into the parking lot for the second time, the first time was the interview. through a string of reasons that i won’t go into, i was seeking reemployment but was tied to the area (rental contract), with only two months paycheck saved up, i don’t have much time, so i grabbed this one quickly. i sighed, because i knew just by the feeling of the gravel under my tires, i wasn’t going to enjoy it here, but what’s in a year? i’m young!


i got out of the car and headed for the door. i hadn’t even put my face on yet when i was stopped midway. i heard my name being called. it was my new boss getting out of his car. he’s in his seventies and struggling. it’s hard to hear him so i walk up faster to catch what he’s saying. we exchange pleasantries and walk in the door. i'm supposed to be working directly under him. he shows me my desk, introduces me to the team and mentally i hear a *click* in my head, the morning beings. i pretended to be interested in everything, behaved in ways people describe as “eager to learn” or “ambitious”. ask this question here, nod when he says this. i am polite and patient with him. *just keep smiling, less 260 more days until i can move.*


i sat down in a room that, except for the calendar hanging on the wall, hadn’t changed since the day the company started. i booted my pc up and checked my email. okay, whom i kidding, i opened up a tab of reddit and then i checked my mail. i did the usually routine and then started diving in. i’m suppose to save the company. that’s right. no big deal. i hadn’t thought about it. i’m a consultant, it’s what i'm supposed to do, right? we fix things.


to say i’m a consultant isn’t exactly true. i’m the guy manning the pump in a desperate attempt to keep the ship afloat. i’m to do whatever is necessary to take us out of the red. this could mean cold calling or marketing, support, billing… anywhere there’s a leak i'm supposed to plug it. it’s much more complicated than that but suffice it to say i have the responsibility of a small business owner without the title and four board members hoping i’ll turn their investment around. the fact that they hired me tells me they already think it’s a lost cause, else they would have spent some real money and hired someone with more experience. still, it’s my biggest client yet…could be a great opportunity... though i don’t want to be doing this for the rest of my life… i don't know what i'm suppose to be doing with my life, but i know this isn't it.


i do my duties, review notes and papers, read up on the company, start to learn the sale cycle, the product, who our clients are, what our competitors are doing better than us, etc. an opportunity presents itself for me to talk with a some of the employees who’ve been here awhile. they ask some alarming questions. through their questions, i can piece together that our competitor has aggressively taken our clients away while things went downhill on this side. they lost so many clients i worry their reputation has gone with them.


i get called into my bosses office, he wants help setting an appointment reminder. it took nearly 10 minutes… that’s 10 minutes to set an appointment reminder, with me helping him. i smiled the whole time and nodded when he made a comment about how it’s unintuitive… i didn’t know what to say. i felt really bad for him, he was old and was struggling so much. when i looked into his eyes i saw a man who was a husk of what he use to be, used up but still going because he had no choice. his livelihood was tied up in the business, he had nothing but the company. he was going down with it, and he was too old to bail water. for the first time in a long time, i felt depressed. i went back to my office and stared at the screen for a good minute. what happened to him? and then it hit me… i know what happened to him!


and i could see it so clearly that i had to stop everything and shake my head. a real ah-ha moment. see i knew the backstory of how the company got started. it was an idea that grew inside another company. it was presented to the board, and the board thought it was a viable idea but didn’t want to diversify their company. not wanting to say no, they offered to fund the person's venture under extremely favorable conditions for the guy. they lent him the resources and helped get him going and grow his own business. an investment! so the company gets going, and then there’s a bit of confusion still as to what happened but from what i gather is: a real solid sales guy and the man who's brainchild (call him bob) started the business worked together in the beginning but somewhere along the road bob parted and the sales guy took over. my new boss.


the company funding this venture let the transition happen, and the business thrived. the problem though was my boss was a salesman, not a leader. not a visionary, he was a salesman. the company did well because there was demand and no supply. he never innovated, he just let it coast. he wasn’t an entrepreneur, he had no vision for the company other than to sell his product. before working with the startup he was making six figures a year. yet the companies almost in debt, he’s in debt, and he’s run himself right into the ground.


you see, i wasn’t approached by my boss, no, the investors contacted me. the prep was something along the lines of, “this was profitable, it’s not anymore. we think it’s their image, it’s outdated. can you find out what’s going on while being the face of the company? oh and your boss would be 72.” they went on to tell me that he was having problems for years and they didn’t want to pull the rug out from under his feet, they want to give him an opportunity to save it before it goes under. which is why they were hiring me. a younger guy who’ll be patient and work beside him and “take the reigns” slowly. it wasn’t a complete charity case, they all had vested interest in the company, but in a way it was. if it was about their investment they’d have kicked him out the first year things changed. they’re paying me a flat salary, out of their pocket, for a set period of time until my boss can afford to pay me from his company. they also made mention of giving me stock options in the company as part of my commission for any sales i made. then they looked at me and said, “who knows, it could be a great opportunity for you”.


alarm bells went off in my head as i thought back on that. *oh my god, it was a rerun!* they let my boss keep the company because they wanted to help him out, they were being nice. too nice. they handed over a new company to a salesman, they were too nice to take away his position when it became clear he couldn’t run the company, and now they were planning to put me in that position. 


but what they did wasn’t nice at all, it ruined him. regardless if my boss wanted to ever run his own business or not, they kept enabling him so he never came to the realization “i don’t want this, this isn’t for me.” and backout of the deal. instead he felt guilt. he felt guilt because these people he now counted as friends, have their money vested in the company, and he feels further responsibility as they keep forgiving him and giving him chances. he’s a man who’s words are laden with guilt and turmoil over handling these people's funds. he’s desperately trying to make things work, but he can’t. they were so good to him, and the company succeeded before, so he’s reasoned he must be the problem. he knows there’s a problem, but he’s completely unable to see what’s wrong. he doesn’t think that way, he’s just not built to think that way. he’s a salesman, not a ceo..


the investors were extremely kind hearted people who wanted to help this man carve out a living in this world. but they let emotions get in the way of their business decision, trying to do good, but instead they’re doing harm. business decisions need to be made diplomatically or else you end up with companies like this one. whoops, there’s the consultant in me, trying to analyze what’s wrong and how to fix it.


the point is, and i know i've strayed far from the original thought, but i’m my new boss. do i have any idea how to run a business, or am i even capable of doing so? i don’t know the answer and the investors sure as hell don’t know it either. i’m just an extension in a long line of good deeds gone wrong. more frighteningly, will i get lured into his position? you see, i’m in an awkward position as it is already. as i said before, i’m forced to stay in this area for a year. i could wait out at least some time of it with a guaranteed paycheck while looking for other work. if it turns out to be an easy fix, this could be a big win for me. the compensation was more than agreeable.


plus i’m sure there is so much i could learn if i really apply myself. really, i could give it my best shot, see how well i do and learn from it, or i could just poke around, try this, try that, just do what i feel like and at the end, when this inevitably sinks, i can tell them you can’t chain the captain's hands, that my boss wouldn’t listen or was too senile for it to work. that the market had shifted and the company had no product, or whatever so long as it sounded reasonable because, the investors don’t give a fuck about their investment. they just want to “help” this guy out. they wouldn’t dig into the details, they’d take my word for it and walk away. they were done, this was their last ditch effort to do good. and i’d be that much closer to moving.


i know what will happen if i stay. if i stay i’m going to try and do it, i’m going to try and save the company. i’m going to give it my all. because i want to prove that i can do it, i want to turn it around and have some extra walking around change. i want to see how i’d do with my hands at the helm.


if i follow the rabbit hole, i can see just where this could lead. to make this work, i have to really put on a mask, an entire person who isn’t me, and normally that would be okay, except this time, i’ve got to be perfect at everything i do, which means i have to fake this person, who isn’t me, perfectly.


i know that it sounds like i’m crazy, but i feel like if i take this position, if i really want to say i gave it my all, if at the end if i want to be able to say i tried everything in my power to keep her afloat, and it sinks. in order for me to be able to say that i tried, i have to become someone who i’m not for x amount of months, and i have to believe i am that person. i have to become that person perfectly. and i worried i’ll lose myself, that the temptation to stay with it if it works out will drag me into this vicious cycle. 

i’m worried i’ll show just enough success to be encouraged into sticking with it. i mean this man was a successful salesman who made plenty of money before leaving his previous job, but instead now he’s broke and carries the weight of a company and its investors. he isn’t an idiot, he had skills. it’s just that running businesses isn’t one of those, yet he got caught in this and now look at him. a man who's only hold on life was his guilt. that could be me. right there, sitting in his desk with his huge hearing aid, his voice quivering, his bones protesting at every move, and feeling completely lost and hopeless... that could be me. what do i do? do i ride it out, or do put on the mask and hope i come out the other side? the fact that i’m even considering staying, does that mean i’m already in too deep?


there i stood, at the pumps. do i man them, or do i jump ship?


later in the day a few more employees came in and my boss introduced us. “this is jason, he’s going to save the company!” i've never had one but i think i felt a panic attack coming on.

**

TIFU by taking a job out of desperation [Long]