Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i know this is a long story, but it takes some pretty hilarious turns so bear with me. 

this was during the summer, i had just moved to calgary from montreal and knew nobody living there other than my mom and my cousin. since i had no friends, i was regularly on tinder in an attempt to meet new people but more specifically, to get some lovin. i was going to live with my mom for the first little while, however her apartment got flooded, so we both moved in with my cousin. my first weekend in calgary, my mom went away on business trip, and warned me not to fuck up because i have a history of making some bad decisions.

i matched a few people and started chatting with some. this one girl, let’s call her “stacy,” messages me. we get to talking and eventually plan to meet up at a bar. i told her to choose the spot because i’m new to the city.

i get dropped off and immediately notice that the bar is very sketchy. i text stacy and we meet outside the bar for a smoke. upon first meeting her, i instantly noticed that she’s a bit bigger than her pictures presented her as (not surprised) and that she had a questionable fashion sense (wearing unusual jellyfish-print leggings). i was dressed up pretty nicely, which instantly made me feel weird.

as we are having a smoke, i notice she’s talking really fast, and not just to me, but to everybody that was outside on the street. we finish our cigarettes and walk inside. as we walk into the bar she turns to me and says “if i start acting really weird, it’s because i dropped ketamine right before you got here.” although i was skeptical of this development, i’ve dabbled with drugs before, had a couple of beers in me, and basically decided “fuck it, let’s see where this takes me.”

we grab drinks, and she literally couldn’t talk about anything other than drugs, burning man, and photographing herself naked. i could tell the ketamine was really hitting her, as her words were coming out of her mouth much quicker than her thoughts. eventually, she says we should leave and we end up at her sister’s place that she was house sitting for the weekend. we start fooling around in her sister’s bed, i started to finger her, then she said “put it all in.” 

i reply “what do you mean?”

she then said “put in all your fingers.” 

i reluctantly proceed. after all fingers turn into fisting, she asks me if i’m “feeling adventurous.” i generally have an open mind about this type of stuff, but this girl was so crazy that i was genuinely worried about what was going to happen.

she asked me if i wanted a butt plug in my ass, to which i said “no”

she asked me if i was into nipple clamps, to which i said “no”.

she then suggests that we lay down a yoga mat in front of a full body mirror so that she can watch me have sex with her from behind. as this request didn’t seem too crazy, i played along. as i began to fuck her, she was aggressively staring into my eyes the entire time. even when i broke eye contact, which was frequently, her dilated pupils would always find mine.

after a few minutes, her hand slipped forward, causing the enormous steel encased full body mirror standing in front of us to fall over and smash me directly in the forehead. to this day i have no idea whether this was on purpose or not. at this point i am majorly shaken-up, and i push the mirror (which did not break) off my head. as i do this my forehead started squirt-bleeding onto her back like i had exploded an artery. i was freaking out. she was freaking out. we were yelling at each other out of confusion for a couple of minutes. 

once things calm down a bit, i ask her where her shower is so i can go wash the blood out of my head. she follows me into the shower and eagerly starts giving me a blowjob as i clean the blood off my face. although i wasn’t pleased with the situation i didn’t stop her. we eventually get out of the shower and she asks me if i want anything for the pain. forgetting that she is passionate about drugs, i say yes and she gives me two pills. without thinking, i take them and then ask her what she gave me, as i could tell it wasn’t tylenol or advil. she replies “oh, just a couple of oxys.”

i figured getting mad was a waste of time. i just wanted to get dressed get my things and leave. she didn’t have any band aids, so i improvised and taped a kleenex over the gash. as i went back to her sister’s room where all my clothes were, the oxys hit me like a ton of bricks, so i laid down. her bed felt like a marshmallow cloud. i wasn’t going anywhere.

stacy eventually comes into the room and says “now, where were we?” 

confused, i replied “what do you mean?” 

she said, “before the mirror fell… i’m not quite done with you.”

by this point i was exhausted, bleeding out of my head, and just wanted to pass out. she was very persistent about not being done with me so i eventually agreed to just lying there and letting her hop on and do all the work. i was trying not to fall asleep while she was having her way with me, but eventually i finished and collapsed into an oxy-induced sleep.

the next morning i wake up. i look around, there is blood everywhere. the room looked like a csi crime scene. her sheets, comforter, pillows and carpet were all white and the tissue that i had taped to my forehead came off at some point in the night = blood literally everywhere. at this point she is still asleep. clearly i am traumatized and wasn’t trying to stick around, so i tip-toe around the bloody crime scene looking for my lost belongings. after i find most of my things i get out of there as quickly as possible, still bleeding out of my head due to the lost make-shift band-aid. i get in a cab hungover, with nothing covering the large open gash on my forehead. the cab driver turns around and without me saying a word, asks me if i want to go to the hospital. i gave him an approving nod and ended up getting five stitches and fucking up pretty hard.
 
stacy texted me a couple of times after this to try and meet up. i haven’t seen her since.

TIFU by meeting up with Tinder girl