Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: to be honest, tonight would have been incredibly uneventful if it weren't for things unfolding the way they did. i wish it turned out a little better, but i digress.

i'm a construction worker as well as a college student, i do a lot of heavy lifting, and i don't really have much time for dating. i do not live on campus. i live in a small apartment, and the college is only a 15 minute drive away. last week i was in a relatively minor accident and with my luck, i hurt my back. bad. i was on a ladder, holding up some very light scaffolding. next thing i knew, the ladder was falling, and so was i. out of reflex, i turned to catch myself, but in turning so fast, i actually strained one of the major ligaments in my back and tore some muscle. went to the er, had some x-rays done, etc. all they said was i had a minor tear in the muscle and some strain in my ligament (i learned the hard way that we as human beings are not cats, and thus our backs do not work in such a fashion of turning in mid-air and catching themselves) and that i should not do anything vigorous for two-four weeks.

fast forward to tonight. my professor is young, about 6 years older than me. she graduated high school and college at a very young age, smart and absolutely adorable and sexy to boot. well, we are both fairly stupid since we both let sexual tension grow between us. i often wondered if other students noticed any sexual tension, but we did not flirt with each other on campus or anything like that. though i did stay over after class to chitchat, or if she needed help with something. i even stopped by during the next semester when we didn't even have class together anymore.

we live fairly close to each other, and sometimes we run into each other at the stores and at starbucks and such. we both knew that dating between us is very risky, even though she is technically not my professor anymore, so dating didn't come up. until today, that is. i finally asked her for coffee, or a day at the public library, something that was fairly benign or mundane. she suggested going to one another's house and watching a movie would be fine with her.

i said that my place was fine, i have a big tv, netflix, and a huge collection of dvds. we make it a date and she shows up to my apartment at 8:00 at night. we watch the dark knight and eat pizza, and after the movie ends we talk about where we stand... or should be standing. we tried to talk each other out of doing anything too physical, and to wait the 6 months until i'm graduated. we started weighing the pros and cons of going further than just the occasional hang-out.

but we ended up fucking despite how we knew we shouldn't.
and it was fucking fantastic. while it lasted, anyway. i'm going at her hard and heavy, she's scratching up my back and that just fuels my fire to go even harder. i'm all caught up in the heat of everything, just slamming into her without a care in the world.
and then it happens.

in mid coitus, we both hear this loud pop from my back. it sounded like a steroidal nail gun punched the wall. i was in so much pain that my ears started to ring. i immediately stopped, and she just laid there, eyes and mouth wide open as i nearly buckle on top of her. i'm just growling in absolute pain, wanting to scream and cry like a baby as the burning ache in my back that had been with me all week turned into a stabbing pain that was even worse than kidney stones. and because i lost my shit, she loses her shit, too. i'm stuck on top of her, and she's hyperventilating "are you okay? oh my god are you okay? what the hell was that? [name] talk to me don't freak me out." i manage to collect myself enough to say through clinched teeth "i hurt my back at work. it's just my back. it's okay. it's okay." i bet the both of us were thinking "oh man, people are going to find out. we're absolutely fucked. i can just hear the talking heads on the news. local construction worker sex scandal with his professor! oh boy!"

"no, it's not okay!" she lectured me on how i should have just told her before we started, and that we could have done a lot of different, but still fun things. but i didn't think of it, i didn't even -feel- the pain. the power of boner is strong, and overcomes everything. i just stay on top of her, careful not to press my weight on her, even though i wanted to lay flat. but at the same time, i didn't even want to move, just trying to move my lower half hurt. minutes passed and she said "you have to go to the hospital." and i argued with her, i didn't want to go back to the hospital because it was just going to be the same thing i went through last time. get an x-ray, be told that it's nothing major and get sent home with muscle relaxers and pain pills. eventually, she won the argument and reached for my landline on the nightstand, she called 911 and told them that we're going to need an ambulance.

as the ambulance made their way i was trying to get off of her, i was trying to move so we could at least put some clothes on, but my back was so tense and in so much pain that i could not move. soon the emts were knocking on the door, "just come in! we're both stuck!" i finally had a burst of dedication and i tried to roll off of her, groaning out pathetically as i moved to no avail. the emts let themselves into the apartment, and into my room.

"... dude." i heard one of them say, i turned my head to look at them, and realized that one of the emts was my friend who had graduated before i did. he was holding back his laughter "dude, way to fuckin' go." i had no idea if he was genuinely impressed or if he was sarcastic, but i didn't care.

they all helped me off of her, and put me on the stretcher. they covered me up and took me to the hospital as naked as the day i was born. my friend gathered clothes for me, and told me that "my little secret" was safe with him, and he wasn't about to go tell everyone that i fucked my teacher.

to sum up the hospital visit: i managed to slip a disk in my lower back, since shit was so fucked up that i didn't have much support to begin with, i just made it worse by having sex.
i have a feeling things are going to be incredibly awkward. or something. i don't know, i'm just nervous to talk to her again because well... this is pretty fucking embarrassing.

 

update: she went to the hospital with me, and helped me put on my pants once i came off of the morphine high. she also drove me home and helped me in bed. i was going to add something else to the update but i totally forgot because my pain medication is kicking in.

update 2: holy shit i was not expecting this to blow up the way it did. i was expecting this to be regarded as bullshit by the reddit masses and it wouldn't get much attention, but damn. there has been some outcry for updates, and as of now, i don't have very much to update. i wrote this when i got home after the hospital, it was very in-and-out because there wasn't much they can do for me other than give me meds to help the spasms, pain, and swelling, and schedule physical therapy for the next six weeks starting next week. i'm going to try and get up and maybe do some light housework and see what it's like (for the past couple days i've been doing homework, and cooking, which was more than enough for me.) probably going to be doing light housework and very minimal bending all this week (at the very least, anyway). i'm going to stick to whatever the doctor tells me to avoid the surgery. about the professor and i: she's been calling and asking if i needed help with anything, and if i needed any company. we're going to watch some tv series (something that she likes that i've never heard of) and cook something. i'm very excited to have her over.

for those wondering: yes, i live in a small town, and it's not very far from the college and the "college town".
and yes, this is a repost (that was what the first update was going to be about. lol. now i remember.) i posted this on tuesday, i guess i didn't read the rules? also, i have a landline for when my cellphone is mia, and if people need to get in hold of me because of an emergency and i just happen to be at home, or they can leave a voice mail when i'm not.

TIFU by having sex with my professor.