Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: i am a fucking idiot. 

it has been a loooooooooooong time since i have had enough free time and energy to have a really nice session of flicking the bean. i put a towel down, put fresh batteries in my little friend, set up the laptop between my legs about a foot away, and found some really, really good dp online. unfortunately, it was apparently too good.

i am really getting into this porn. in my mind, i am this girl. i am knuckles deep and my little bullet is doing his thing. i start to feel a really, really good orgasm coming. i had been kind of "edging" myself for the better part of 5 minutes, where i would get really close to my orgasm, then back off, in order to have a more powerful "finale". well fuck me, it's time.

i just rolled into it. it was one of those orgasms where my toes curled up, my legs started shaking, and my whole body felt like i was going to float through the ceiling straight to the stars. it was so intense i almost thought i was going to faint and i started seeing colors really bright. it was like a neon jackson pollock in my mind. that kind of intense. oh, and did i mention i'm a squirter? i only do it during really good sex, or sometimes from an orgasm from anal. so i was not even prepared for the fucking typhoon that erupted from mt. saint lady-bits. 

i fucking creamed my computer. not just a little, like i might as well have filled up the tub, kissed it goodbye, and threw its little electronic self in. and the worst part is, i was too far into this orgasm from god himself to even notice until after i regained normal breathing and basic consciousness.

i. am. fucked.

i am alternating between hysterically crying to blow-drying my computer and trying not to hyperventilate myself into a coma. this is my school computer, my work computer, and my connection to the outside world. i don't have the money to replace it nor the means to fix it. 

fuck me :/

 


edit**the porn in question for you vultures: http://www.xnxx.com/video5141493/double_penetration_threesome 


edit 2***it's really really nice of you guys, but i don't have a bitcoin account. thanks tho :p

tifu by underestimating my typhoon vagina