Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: no this did not happen today but like 8 years ago.

i used to be a delivery driver for a small non-alcoholic beverage company in a large metropolitan region. (not naming the region because it wouldn't actually be that hard to id the company from my descriptions, and this would not be something their customers would want to know.) i drove a [20' box truck](http://i.imgur.com/lufsu8v.jpg) for this job. 

most of our customers were businesses, so even if i had a long way to drive between two deliveries, most of the roads i used had lots of other businesses that i could just walk into if i had to pee. but this delivery was an exception. some private customer out in the suburbs, nee the outer suburbs, ordered like 6 cases of monster energy drink. this put me a good ways away from any kind of place i could just drop into to use the bathroom, however still in an area that was urbanized to an extent that there weren't any good places to pull over and just piss in the woods or a bush or something. 

option c? pull over and pee in an empty san pellegrino bottle. shit. nowhere (appropriate) to pull over - no shoulders, houses everywhere. i was *this* close to pissing my pants. fuck it. option d - unzip, pull out penis, straighten body as best i can, hold the neck of the bottle between my index and middle fingers while holding my penis in place in the bottle by pressing the top of the head down with my thumb (no so hard you cut off flow/hurts, not so light you lose grip.) all of this **while still maintaining consistent throttle and steering an 8-ton vehicle.** 

problem is the size of the opening on a san pellegrino bottle. if you haven't drank from one it's a little smaller than the opening of a 20 oz soda bottle. in order to do this maneuver you kinda need to be able to insert your penis at least a little bit into the opening or else you're kind of aiming into the bottle instead of peeing into it and i can't aim for the bottle, i'm a fuckin responsible driver who keeps his eyes on the road. but the opening of the bottle is way too small to make this happen. maybe one of those half-liter pepsi bottles with the wide mouth or a snapple bottle or something but this was not big enough. i just kinda crammed the head up to the opening and started going. 

thing is if liquid is going to enter a vessel like this, the air the liquid displaces has to escape somehow and i hadn't accounted for that. so instead of going into the bottle it sprays everywhere. steering wheel, windshield, center console, my pants of course, my neck, my face, my shirt... very little into the bottle. luckily at this point the shoulder i had needed all along came up (too bad i didn't wait just another 20 seconds) and, having figured out the physics problem posed by cramming my penis into the bottle, finished the job correctly by allowing air to escape as the pee entered the bottle. cleaned up myself and the truck with paper towels and drove back to the warehouse with my pants well-whetted with piss. 

lesson learned? if you need to pee while driving a large heavy vehicle, make sure your penis fits into the bottle you're peeing in with room for air to escape.

TIFU by peeing in a bottle while driving a delivery truck