Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: today, i woke up with a headache and a sore body. i was also horny as hell, but i've grown tired of jerking off to porn lately, so i started searching for alternatives. 
i swiped on tinder. i sent some messages to craigslist ads about massages looking for a little touch, desperate as hell. 
i found a website that ranks and reviews massage parlors based on happy endings and staff (there is literally a website for everything). 
i found a nearby place and decided i try it out. it was across from a bowling alley in a little house basically. super shady looking. i lol'd as i got out of my car and ring the bell. an asian lady of about 40 opened up and led me back to a massage table in a red lit room. i paid $55 for an hour upfront and she went to town. it was actually a really nice massage. she covered my ass up with a towel at first but soon pulled it off and got all up in that inner thigh region. after 30 minutes of lotions, hot stones, and chopping, i flipped over for her to work the front. she masterfully rubbed me up and down and spared no body parts, except my dick. after what seemed like forever, i was sporting a little wood and she acted like it was nothing (she sees this every single day). she said time was up and i guess i didn't hint enough, so she walked out and starting washing her hands. i started to get dressed, but then desperately asked for another 30 mins. she agreed and i went back on the table, dick up but now flaccid. she worked my chest and then started rubbing the thighs and grazing my balls. i was into it and let her know that it felt really good. she kept grazing my junk and rubbing my thighs until she grabbed my hand and put it on my dick and said "you finish". i started rubbing my cock to get it full mast and asked her if she would do it. she said "no shhh" and looked out of the room as if someone would be mad if they heard. so i then said fuck it and started cranking it. she kept rubbing my balls and rubbing my nipples and then i came a big load. she actually said whoa whoa and giggled. then she helped clean me up and said "you're young, strong" and then told me to take a shower. i was weirded out, but she insisted and showed me a shower and towel. it was the most awkward shower ever and i quickly dressed to leave. i then paid her the $30 for the extra time and a $20 tip because i was nervous and thought you were supposed to do that when you come all over everything. 
it was weird.

TIFU by going to a rub and tug massage parlor --NSFW