Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input:  I was bridesmaid for a school friend in October (one of four, her step-sister was her maid of honor). I’ve never been in a proper wedding before - friends have gotten married before but it’s always been very casual! - so I wasn’t totally sure what was expected of me in terms of ‘duties’. I like all the other bridesmaids and did lots of planning with them for the bachelorette, did a speech at the bachelorette that was nice and sentimental (I thought, although the bride was too drunk at the point to remember it), did the dress fitting and was enthusiastic about the choice, responded to all the whatsapps about the plans… was early for the rehearsal, stayed over night and did all the getting ready stuff in the morning, bought her a card, chatted with her family all night, sent flowers after the wedding. All the things I imagined you were meant to do, But she’s just given me feedback that she was disappointed by me at the wedding. 

Three of my school friends (who I’d not seen for ages) were there and did get quite drunk. I hung out with them for some of the dancing but distanced myself when they started being really raucous and obnoxious. She told me I was ‘tainted by association’. Then she told me the other bridesmaids were always there when she need a wee or a drink and I wasn’t. And I definitely wasn't! I just didn't even think to be. 

I realise looking back that I probably didn’t check in with her as much as she would have liked during the reception, or been as aware of the stress that she was feeling and or dealing with but I just thought I should take a back seat and let it be about her and her family and the groom? She shared all this with me at another friend’s christmas party after what was a normal friendly chat. She always wants to be honest and “tell it like it is” - if it was me I don’t think I would have said anything because what difference can I make now? 

I’ve lived out of state for a while so I think she thought when I moved back that it would be right back to how it used to be when we left school, when we’d hang out all the time. And I want that, but we’re also were different now and lives are busy and it’s not that easy. I'm finding it exhausting to feel like I'm not living up to what I think are quite arbitrary friendship standards. 

Am I the asshole? I have a tendency to get on my high horse about stuff like this so I definitely could be. 

not being a good enough bridesmaid