Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this was actually in 2007, that's still today, right? also, swear words if that makes it nsfw, i'm not sure.

i had a job washing cars. the establishment i worked for was located in a gas station with two garage bays on it. one was for the car wash and the other was a two car garage sized mechanic's bay, with two car lifts in it.

one day, while performing my duties, i was asked to set aside my obviously important work, to do a menial task for our mechanic, jason. what jason needed was a brave and skilled solider to sit in this acura, and pump the brakes so that he could do what's called "bleeding" them. which for the lay people is just getting excess air out of the brake line. if there's more to it than that, i don't know what it is.

now, i am an old hat at driving a stick shift. my first car was a beast of a machine. it was a power house 5 speed with the masculine qualities second only to an h2. it was a mazda miata! mx 5 mother fucker, roll up on dees nuts! so, when i looked down in the floor board of that acura and saw that there were three peddles and no bullshit, i was like, "hell yeah, i got the shit out of this!"

i hopped up on the raised lift, then, with my left foot still on the lift, i pressed the clutch with my right, wiggled the gear shift to see if it was in neutral, started the car and pulled the e-brake. once that kitten was purring, i depressed (is that the right word?) i un-pressed (still not right) i let go of the fucking thing called "the clutch" and, thought "oh wait, it lurched a little, shit, i can't have that horse shit, i'd better let go a little more and... fuck! i better hit the brake to hold it still! shit! mother fucker ahhhhhh!

oh fuck...oh...fuck. oh goddamnit! oh, fuck me! fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme
what the literal piss did i just do? ^jason? jason are you there?"

jason, who was previously out of my line of sight, stepped around from beside the tire calibration machine. unharmed but holding an expression of both inquisitiveness and *slight* seething anger. it was one of those looks that let you know that the only words you can say are... nothing. so, of course, i said...

"dude, what the fuck?"

which, to me, was a question of my own stupidity, but to him sounded like an accusation.

"your dumb ass just drove an expensive car off the goddamned lift, that's what the fuck!" *look of seething anger moves far past "slight"* didn't you check to see if it was in neutral?" he asked, as if asking his son if he'd fed the dog.
"yeah, of course i did." i quickly replied. "i knew to at least move the gear shift around to make sure it wasn't in any gear."

releasing a huge sigh, jason just said, "next time you want to check to see if a car is in neutral. find a few gears first then release it into the neutral position. otherwise, like in this case, the gear shift might just have slop in it that makes it seem as though it's out of gear..." he then just stared at me as if trying to decide what murder weapon would be the most satisfying to use on me.

"i don't even know how i just did that man. are you okay? i'm sorry, man, i'm really sorry!" at this point what just happened really set in. so, for the next 30 minutes i sat with my head in my hands repeating, "what the fuck..." while jason called the owner to come look at the damage and take care of whatever needed to happen next.

after about an hour of explanation and obviously deserved ridicule and admonishment, the shop's owner had called both his insurance company and the car owner, in that order. 

as it turned out, he had shop insurance that covered things like this. i wasn't docked any pay and was allowed to keep my job. he even said, "if you'd put both feet in the car, you would probably have been fine." which, despite everything that had just happened, made me feel a little better. knowing that he at least understood i wasn't incompetent, just dumb. though he never asked me to aid in the bleeding of brakes ever again...

 

edit: i know it's "acura" and i'm stupid. i also added in the major plot point where i realize the car was in gear the whole time and just had play in the gear shift. you know, the crux of the story.

NSFW (due to profanity) TIFU by driving an Accura off of a mechanic's lift.