Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Very long, quick background;

Husband and I met a handful of years ago through the internet. On one of our first dates, I got pregnant, and the usual ensuing panicked decision making happened that led to me keeping the baby because it was one of my only chances due to my health, and him sticking around to co-parent but just as friends. Further along the pregnancy he started dating another girl while i was living with him but in separate rooms cuz, ‘just friends, getting together for the baby would be stupid’ he said. After many months of the emotional toll that took, and shortly after the baby was born, i said I had enough and that he had someone so i was moving on. He panicked, didn’t want to pay child support or be ‘weekend dad’ so he dumped the girl and said he wanted me to stick around, but only if it could be an open relationship because he was worried he would need more than me to satisfy him. Young, dumb and literally no other support in my life I agreed to stick around. Few years later i found out i had cancer and another panicked decision was made to have one last child and get married. Thanks to the miracle of RSO, my cancerous cells were no longer there and my second kid was born healthy after our wedding. 

Here’s where things started to really kinda crumble. During our attempts for our second kid, we struggled immensely with having any sort of regular sex life that would help conception happen sooner than later. There were always excuses about how late he was working or how much effort it took to have sex with a kid in the house. Fast forward to a year after kid two and he admits that he’s not ‘into’ my body type and thought he could help me lose weight(I’ve never weighed more than 210) and he would never have to say anything, but my depression from some major family drama and my inability to lose weight fast due to PCOS and thyroid problems made him admit “I’m shallow, I just don’t find you attractive and I don’t think i ever will. But i still love you and care for you.” We went to couples counseling where the therapist proceeded to tell me to try to get passed the hurt and use it as a chance to motivate me to look better. I proceeded to put up with a lot of building resentments and anger between the both of us. This created a toxic dynamic where he held onto anger to mask every emotion. I literally only saw him cry once when he broke up with his gf he had when i was pregnant. His anger kept building and building; things would get thrown, doors slammed, hours and hours of tears while he yelled at me. This started to severely trigger some trauma from my past and soon i would sit in a puddle of tears shaking while he chewed me out for my “attitude” “not understanding him” “never forgiving him” “being selfish” and “broken beyond repair” any time he started yelling i would start bawling and he wouldn’t comfort me at all; no touching, no hugs, no apologies. I would literally have to leave the room sobbing and come back calm before he would even attempt to tell me again how i should have asked for comfort if i wanted it and how he needed comfort too and i didn’t give it to him. 

6 months ago, shit hit the fan and we had a sheriff at our door. This sheriff looked at him and told him as long as the kids were in the other room he wasn’t there to be a marriage counselor and didn’t care what was said or who yelled at who. This only led to him doubling down and every two weeks i was crying while he was yelling about something else i screwed up or hurt him for. I had enough. I packed everything i could and tried to find somewhere to go and came up empty. I got a job and started to get some confidence back. When i knew i could take care of myself i started to pull away. He could immediately tell and something snapped; this is officially where my ask starts. 

I told him I wanted to separate and give myself an opportunity to work on myself without the constant need to fix our marriage. It’s broken, it has been for a long time and he admitted that for a long time I’ve been the only one trying. Now, he wants to try, he wants to fix things, he wants to promise to give me all the things I’ve asked for for years, and it fucking stings. Why did it have to take years and me leaving before he did the right thing? He keeps trying to say he wants to know if him trying is wasted efforts, if I’m going to leave him fully anyways he wants to just call it quits right now and get papers, but he says that if we are going to work things out we shouldn’t even separate because he can’t fix things if i push him out. Thing is, i feel like if i take him back right away, what does that say about my own self respect? I know it would be easier, but i will always wonder if he truly finds me attractive or loves me because I’ve literally been questioning that the whole time. Because of our open relationship, i had a date a few weeks ago and truly felt the difference once again in how it felt to passionately be with someone who actually wanted me and i can still feel the difference and it’s changed the dynamic and he can feel it. He finally talked to his family about what was going on and he’s been owning up to how verbally abusive he’s been, but everyone is saying that because we’re married and have kids we should be working things out, but not separating and that I’m an ass for not understanding that all his anger was from stress and stuff and we made a promise to work things out no matter what....but i have been living literal years in a hellish relationship where i was not wanted, how do i take him back without that being addressed somehow someway? I don’t want to ignore all my years of pain, and does he really deserve me when I’m at my best when he didn’t want me at my worst? Am i really an asshole if i don’t ‘let him show me he can be better’ and give him a second chance? There’s so much more at play here and specific instances of where care should have been shown and wasn’t, and I’m literally all on my own with no fam or friends so this is literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I do love him, but i need to love me too and i don’t know if he even realizes he’s never fully let himself love me. 

TLDR;
Metaphorically speaking, pulled my husband kicking and screaming all along the way in our relationship for the past few years and finally had enough yelling and let go, only to find out once I stopped trying to drag him with me he was willing to do it himself and I’m being called the asshole for not wanting to give him a second chance right away. It’s literally been a week. 

wanting to separate