Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: posting this from a throwaway for obvious reasons, but last night i was feeling rather randy, and decided i would pick up a hooker to get some relief. so i hopped on craigslist and went straight for the casual encounters section. i was also feeling a bit adventerous, and decided to experiment, so i decided why the hell not and called up a tranny. she claimed to have a 10 inch cock and 38d tits. i agreed to some mutual oral and anal, and to pay 40 bucks. so i hopped in the shower, and did some touch up shaving.

right about here is where the fuck ups begin, i went to the my bank's atm, called said hooker, confirmed the amount, and i asked if i needed to buy some condoms, which she said i did. so i put my card in the machine, got my money, and reviewed my balance receipt. started to drive off, and god damn it, i forgot my debit card in the machine. so i turned around to pick it up and the machine already ate my card, fuck. so since i only pulled out the 40 bucks i had to turn around and head back home to grab some change and a few ones, for some spare gas money if i need it. when i got home i knew i probably should have backed out, but didn't, i grabbed a few dollars, emptied out my wallet of everything except my driver's licescense, and my prepaid debit card i use for online purchases. i figured if i was going to get robbed i wasn't about to lose all that much.

so i get in my car, and head out to the nearest open gas station to pick up some condoms, and the guy was out of magnums, which not to brag, but regular condoms are to small for me. whatever, i settled for some cheapass durex condoms, shot the shit with the cashier, used my prepaid card, threw the box of condoms in the passenger seat, and proceeded on the way. along the way said hooker calls me, and asks what is taking so long, i decided to play it cool and tell her i got stuck in traffic because of a wreck. so i continued to talk to her about random things, not that i gave a shit about what she was saying, i was just being polite and making conversation. so i pull up into her neighborhood, thought we were meeting at a hotel, but whatever, nothing to stress over. 

so she gets into my car and tells me to touch her, so i did and her legs were greasy and over lotioned, and she had me rub her crotch. it was about this time fuck up number two happened, she pulled her cock out and it was above average, but not what she claimed it to be, although it was really thick, and her boobs were not 38d's an she was wearing the thickest bra padding i have ever felt in my life. she then asked if i had a motel room, and i said no, because her ad said she was hosting. 

so we are now stuck making this happen in my car, no worries for me though, i am not afraid to get down in my car. so i am driving around with her directing me and her tree trunk of a cock in my hand. we try out one spot but she doesn't think its a good idea so we move on to different spot. so we continue driving until we get to a residential area, and she suggests we pull into an empty house's driveway, this sets off a few alarms in my head, so we continue on. finally after 45 minutes of searching we find a spot.

here is where fuck up number three happens, and inspired me to post it here. so we are in a dark spot, and we are jacking each other, and she pulls me over to start giving her oral, which i did, and i could taste her salty precum. so i am giving un-protected head to a transexual hooker, not my finest moment by far. she pushes my head down causing me to gag a few times. she never cums in my mouth because i sat up so she could jack me. so she is stroking my cock, and sucking on my ear which unbeknownst to her is one of my favorite things. i tell her i am about to cum and she has me finish myself off, and it gets all over my shirt. 

afterwards, i am feeling slightly ripped off because not even half of what we agreed to happened at all, so after rummaging through my pockets i am unable to locate the money i was supposed to give her. i eventually found it, and gave it to her. so here is where fuck up number four begins to unfold, she gets on the phone with someone, and it turns out to be her next client. that she has me drive her to his hotel and drop her off. 

i stop at a gas station, and proceeded onto fuck up number five, feeling rather ashamed of myself, and feeling ripped off because i just paid 40 bucks for an hj, i went to the restroom, pissed, washed my hands, spit out what felt like a gallon of saliva, because the brevity of what just happened hit me. i walked over to the cashier, and suddenly realized i was wearing a shirt covered in cum, but fuck it, at this point i no longer cared. reached in my pocket grabbed my pocket full of quarters, and went to grab my single bills, and the bitch got me for two dollars. god. fucking. damn it. i paid for 8 bucks in gas, in quarters mind you, and proceeded the drive of shame back home.

the drive back home was rather uneventful, except for almost hitting a deer, an unusally high police presence for some reason, and what could be considered fuck up number six. i pull up into my driveway, turn the car off, and went to grab my box of condoms. the bitch stole my condoms.

**edit** fixed spelling and grammar.

TIFU by picking up a transexual hooker