Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: now, i am a clumsy idiot. i've dropped expensive equipment on my foot, dropped expensive equipment on my boss's foot, sliced my wrist open after falling from a ladder, etc., but today's screw-up was by far the worst.

i work in an industrial area and we store these 8ft long, 6in diameter open-ended steel pipes outside. our neighboring lot is empty and has an impressive ground squirrel infestation. now, a few fun facts about ground squirrels:

1. they are fat and stupid.
2. they love to hide in dark tunnel-like places.
3. they gorge constantly on grass and are always full of poop.

naturally, ground squirrels and steel pipes make for a happy combination. the rodents think that the pipes are their own tunnels, and then they hide in them when people approach. of course, this doesn't work so well if their hiding place routinely gets picked up and moved.

i'm no stranger to these little poop sacks in pipes. the standard operating procedure is to pick up the pipe vertically and heft it up a few inches so that the suckers fall out and scurry off. sometimes, though, they ninja-stick themselves to the inner wall of the pipe and refuse to drop. so you gotta lift the pipe and drop it on its end a few times so they get shaken up.

this time, i go to pick up the pipe and, sure enough, the little bastard doesn't want to come out. i lift and drop the pipe a few times. nothing. so i lift higher and higher and drop it harder and harder until...

**splat**. 

what. was. that.

i look down to see that the ground squirrel had fallen out, but only halfway, ass-first, and the edge of the pipe caught him on the way down. the flange on the pipe had flattened his midsection and all of his guts had somehow prolapsed its way through his little ground squirrel anus and out onto my shoe.

and the guts had burst.

the sheer force of the pipe assploded his colon and made a diarrhea fountain. it was all over my shoe, my jeans, and my right arm. and in the split second this happened, while i was looking down in shock, i felt something hit the back of my neck.

poop.

so much poop.

having launched itself in the sky, the poop was now raining down full force on my head.

panic.

my hair stinks like poop. there's poop all over my hand and arm. somehow, a poop splatter had traveled up my short sleeve shirt and hit my armpit hair. it's simultaneously just like chocolate rain, and nothing like chocolate rain.

i tear off my shirt and throw it on the ground. that was a mistake. now it's doubly covered in poop and dead ground squirrel. and i'm shirtless.

i had to sneak out to my car and drive home naked to shower.

once i'm decontaminated i'll go back to take a picture, if the crows haven't gotten at the carcass already.

 

**update 1**: i went back to find the carcass but it was gone. the birds must've got him. maybe next time when i find a ground squirrel in a pipe i'll stage a photoshoot before chasing him off. 

**update 2**: [i caught one!](http://i.imgur.com/qb3qzu8.png) he's a little on the small side (about 8" head to tail) so he slipped out of the pipe easy. i'll leave him in the bucket for a while to reflect on his actions.

TIFU by making it rain rodent poop all over myself [NSFW/NSFL]