Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: this happened yesterday, i don't quite know what to do about it. i'm a coward...

some background about me: i'm a mid-20's college student in a small town in the american midwest. i met x (a woman, my fwb for about a week now) out at the bars about a week ago after chatting on an online dating site. she's slightly older than me, super-freaking-hot, like, out of my league sexypants.

two nights ago we met up out at the bars, and at the end of the night she took me back to her place, where we indulged in adult activities. asleep by 4am.

i wake up in her bed. she's still asleep, i go to rock a piss and as i am doing so i can hear some crying/thrashing around in the other room. i open the bathroom door, look down and standing in front of me is this adorable 2 yr. old kid.

so she has a little boy! i didn't know this, but hey, no big deal at all, i'm a mature adult who doesn't get put off by that kind of thing. and besides, i'm actually pretty great with kids.

fast forward: x wakes up.. i had the day off of work so i stay & hang out longer. well morning turns into afternoon... me, x and the kid go to burger king for some lunch/ice cream. she bought some drinks for me last night, so to make it even, i pay for all our food.

now this kid is a jokester--his favorite joke is to parrot back (repeat) every command he's given. x will say to the kid "cut it out!" or "quiet down!" and the kid thinks it's hilarious to bark the same thing right back at mom, complete with her facial expressions and inflection. 

of course i think this is hilarious. the kid's imitation is spot on. 

i also spend too much time on the internet. so i absent-mindedly make the joke:

"look at me. i'm the dad now."

---in reference to the child's behavior... of course, to someone who doesn't get on the internet much, she takes what i said *at face value...*

all of a sudden her eyes light up. she gives me a huge toungey kiss in the middle of the fast-food eatery. the kid comes around the table to give me a big hug around the legs. and here i am, in the middle of burger king, with my unintentionally adopted family.

 

edit: took out someone's actual name

TIFU by assuming my FWB knew her dank memes