Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: obligatory no, this fu didn't happen today, but three days ago. my original post got deleted because of the no sexual content until weekends.

not even a throwaway, no shame, just embarrassment.

strap your seatbelt a reddit, i've got a good one.

so, football practice last three hours after an 8 hour school day (fuck you coach) and we worked our asses off in the blazing hot sun with high humidity. too say the least, it fucking sucked, shitty day.

i come home, change clothes, put on some deodorant and cologne and go out to eat with me madre.

dinner is fine and we return home.

so, i've done my homework and i'm bored out of my mind. what to do, what to do? oh yeah, why not jack off!

like all good jack off sessions i cut out the lights, locked the door, stripped, hopped up on the bed, *type type type*, and finally started watching some undisclosed category of porn..

oh god, my leg, fucking cramp, oh shit.

i straightened my leg and it went away.

oh god, my fucking ass, god damn cramps.

i was cramping everywhere, my ass, my thigs, my feet, all lower body.

i got back to normal and kept my lower half completely straight.

as i got closer to ejaculating more and more adrenaline kicked in and the more pain i could tolerate. as i came i let my whole lower body cramp up and it felt amazing...

amazing for like two fucking seconds!

i was in excruciating pain, my whole lower body was tight as, nope, not gonna say it.. 

anyways, i was in pain, like a lot.

usually i can make a [rectus femoris](http://images.tutorvista.com/content/feed/u72/body7.jpg) cramp go away by straightening my leg, not this time though. the second i would try and get rid of one cramp it would intensify the other one.

long story short i was stuck on my bed, naked, in the dark, sperm on my chest for 5-6 minutes in excruciating pain, it was awful.

now, usually when i have a cramp i can call my moms name and scream like a lil' bitch, nope, not this time..

the odds were ever so slightly not in my favor.

so, i'm cramping, naked, in the dark, cum on belly/chest, and on top of that i had to be super quiet.

now, here's the worst part. 

you know that door that was "locked", yeah, it wasn't locked.

no warning, no footsteps, no knock.

my mom barged into the room, switched the light on and saw me naked in an awk weird position in excruciating pain, with cum on my chest..

haven't spoken in an hour or so, fuck!

 

edit: no she didn't help me, once she left i sprang up quick as hell and went and got in the shower. the cramps went away almost immediately after i stood up.

Reddit, tifu by wanking off after football practice.