Definition: Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, generate a suitable title that describes the main event/root cause of the situation. Imagine that the given text is a social media post, and you have to write the title of the post, so the users can decide to read the main text or not.
Input: Hey Reddit,

Throwaway obviously.

So the other day, my husband and I got into an “argument” over something that I think was stupid. We’d recently been out to lunch with a couple that we’re very close friends with and were talking about recycling and how you don’t know what’s recyclable these days. 

I then joked and said, “haha yeah, hubby over here leaves random things out for recycling that aren’t recyclable.” He acted sort of stiff and offended and said, “no I don’t”, so I laughed and said, “Oh it’s happened a couple of times” (while sort of wiggling my eyebrows).

Anyway, he said he didn’t again in a more tense and pointed tone which made things a bit awkward, so our friend stepped in and made a joke so we could move on. Later that night, I said to him that I didn’t really appreciate his response, that he does sometimes leave things out, and I was embarrassed that our friend stepped in. He apologised sincerely and said he’d been thinking about it.

I thought we were cool but then he said that he didn’t like how I made him look stupid when I said he left the wrong things out. Reddit, this is literally where I’m stumped. I honestly don’t see how my joke made him look stupid. He’s a very smart dude, and it’s a mistake we all make (hence why we were joking about it). I love him and had no intention of hurting him or making him seem stupid with my comment.

I told him I honestly didn’t mean to offend him and didn’t understand what I’d done, and he started getting really upset, then I got upset for upsetting him. In the end, we communicated clearly and apologised to each other and hugged, but I need to know AITA for teasing him in the first place?

I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) but I’ve done DBT, have a psychiatrist and psychotherapist I check in with regularly, take my medication and practice mindfulness. HOWEVER, I also recognise my normal meter could be completely broken and this is something that could totally have skewed my perceptions of what is hurtful, so I think it’s worth mentioning.

If it turns out, I’m NTA I would never use it against him. I just want to know if he’s particularly sensitive or if I need to modify my behaviour overall. If AITA, then I think I’ll need to take a good, hard look at myself.

TL;DR: I made a joke that made my husband feel stupid. AITA?

making a joke that made my husband feel stupid