Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: long time lurker, not today, yada yada.

some friends of mine have a gaming group that meets every couple of weeks, and about a year ago had a spot open up so i was invited to join. one of the guys in the group was the same major as me in college, and we had taken a couple of classes together. he was in *rough* shape compared to college -- apparently, he had dropped out, become an alcoholic, gained a bunch of weight, and let his teeth get black. he was (is) currently living at home, aged 31, unemployed with his parents. he's stopped drinking, though, and is in counseling, so whatever. why hold the guy's problems against him?

a few weeks ago we invited him over to our house to watch game of thrones, which my so and i still have not seen (i know, i know). now, i could make a whole tifu tale out of just what happened that night, but instead let me give you the highlight reel, because the aftermath and the next few days **dwarfs** it. essentially, the dude came over "manic" (his words) and so hopped up on xanax that later he claimed to have no memory of the entire night. here are just _some_ of the shenanigans he pulled:

 * heard my so say, "i'm kind of hungry," so decides without asking to "fix" this by making tempura. proceeds to take a large-ish saucepan, fills it up with almost [half a bottle this size](http://www.onebodelive.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/1001029_051500254790_a_400.jpg) of oil, then turns it on high and promptly forgets in his drug-addled state that he is cooking. so & i are in the back of the apartment changing the music when i say, "do you smell smoke?" and come in the kitchen to find the black, bubbling remains of the oil happily spilling onto the range top as he is obliviously **rearranging our kitchen cabinets** because he doesn't like the way we organized it.

 * at 3 am, after i've gone to bed, decides he wants to watch a video on my tv, which is connected to the back of my desktop by an hdmi cable. doesn't know which cable it is, so he just starts unplugging everything from the back of my computer trial-and-error style, including yanking the usb 3.0 cable connected to my external hdd right in the middle of my automated nightly backup.

 * some time after we both went to bed, ate an entire *quart jar* of homemade jam my mother had made us. neither of us had even tried it. didn't eat it on anything or ask for it -- just took it from our fridge, grabbed a spoon, and went to town.

the list goes on and on. this isn't even a tenth of what he did. the next morning, i woke to my so telling me for a solid hour about all the stuff he pulled before _she_ went to bed, and found even more stuff in the aftermath. furious, i woke him up (this is at 8:30 am and he had gone to bed maybe an hour before) and kicked him out of my house. i proceeded to call into work for the day because the house was so disgusting, it had to be cleaned immediately. i don't mean that i'm ocd about cleaning, either -- far from it. i mean that the kitchen looked like a hurricane of oil and vegetable matter had gone through it, we had a new infestation of [seed ticks](http://www.tickencounter.org/images/larvae_nymph_ixodes_05_lg.jpg) where his cat-piss-smelling bag had been the night before, etc. it took my so and i 6 hours to get the house back to a state i would describe as "dirty".

when we finally sit down to take a breather from cleaning, i notice i have **7 new messages** from the guy, mostly telling me what a jackass i was for kicking him out and demanding an apology for waking him up. at this point (because i still felt a bit sorry for him), i was still nice, but told him i was quite put out with him, and that if he wanted to fix this he needed some awareness of the problems he had caused, not to just be oblivious and make a bunch of demands. he said, "ok, man, i can kind of see where you are coming from," and that he's a "[dry drunk](http://www.aacanada.com/drydrunk.html)" but that he's working on it, etc. i tell him i need some time to cool down but whatever, we can discuss it later.

the next day, i find out that while he has blocked me on facebook and started telling any of our friends who will listen what a piece of shit i am and how he's never going to talk to me again, he has sent something like 100 facebook messages to my so. they ramble on and on about how much of a piece of shit i am, how i'm obviously a "rage addict" since i yelled at him when i kicked him out, and that she needs help because she's obviously stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship and just has "stockholm syndrome". she explains that he is being a dick and super-offensive, and keeps shutting him down, until finally he blurts out the truth:

> i am just tired of being tortured and living in anguish over how in love i am with you. every. day. all those other girls i've said i had a crush on for the past year have all been lies, because you're really the only girl in my heart.

cut to a day later and she has found out from at least 3 girl friends that she talked to that he's also stalking/hitting on/being really creepy with them. she starts reaching out to other girl friends to warn them, just in case, and ends up accidentally sending one such message to him (his name was right next to the intended recipient in her phone). cue another four hours of non-stop messages about how that was "intentional" and done to "manipulate" him, "just like that time" she "sent [him] a picture of [her] ass!" what?! she asks what the fuck he's talking about and finds out he's referencing a picture she took of our cat with her tablet's front-facing camera that included about a third of the side of her right leg. he also started complaining about her posting pictures on facebook that included her bare feet, which was also apparently "manipulation" because she "knew [he] has a foot fetish."

this continued right up to the threat of a restraining order. after the fact, numerous friends of mine came out of the woodwork to tell me about numerous similar incidents where this guy had tried to persuade friends' girlfriends to leave the guy they were with and come date him, and that in the last 9 years his only 3 relationships were from successful attempts at same. (now you tell me.) did i mention that he fancied himself a writer and his favorite hobby was writing stories about a character with the same name, hobbies, and living situation as himself, who drugged girls and kept them in his basement, raping and eventually murdering them?

 

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**edit**: just came back and will try to answer some faq's from comments.

  * **q**: you should cut all contact with this guy!
    * **a**: already done. haven't heard from him since the end of this story. hope never to again.

  * **q**: seed ticks? more like bedbugs!
    * **a**: the picture i used was an example (google image search), but they were seed ticks. dude lives out in the country with like 25 animals coming in and out of the house all the time. the bag was full of books, not clothes.

  * **q**: why were you friends with him for so long?
    * **a**: like i said, we were part of a gaming group. this was about a year after getting re-acquainted with him, and he had been to our house numerous times. just not manic, and not crazy strung out on xanax. also, while i had been getting fed up with his shit for a while, it seemed that all of his other friends were still putting up with it. i was beginning to wonder if it was just me. after this, almost no one talks to him. he was kicked out of the gaming group.

TIFU by reconnecting with an old "friend" from college