Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: [this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2z0ro4/tifu_by_not_wimping_out_while_sexy_cooking/) reminded me of my fuckup, so as long as we are sharing kitchen-related mishap stories, i will weave my tale for you all.


so this was four years ago, but the story ends last night. i had been working on this unbelievably beautiful, intelligent girl all of my junior year of college. she was a gorgeous blonde science major who loved my favorite bands (right??!?) and was whip-smart.


after much ado, i finally get her to confess that she likes me too, and she agrees to come over to my apartment so i can cook her dinner. i make her my signature dish, chicken parmesan, and i crack open a bottle of wine.


after dinner i put the wine glasses back in the sink to wash them later. one of them falls over and shatters in the sink, so i carefully pick up the pieces and dispose of them.


date goes perfect, she stays over, next morning i get up to cook her breakfast. she's on the couch talking to me while i'm at the stove cooking eggs. i throw the egg shells down the garbage disposal and flip the switch, but it doesn't turn on. something's jamming it. so i stick my hand down there (turned if off first, duh) and try to feel around. then, i feel something with my finger, and i remember saying "hmm what the fuck is this?" right before feeling/hearing a *shhhhk* sound. i remove my hand from the disposal and see that i have sliced my finger open on a razor-sharp piece of glass, so deep i can see into a canyon of flesh.


blood immediately starts spraying all the fuck over me, my shirt, the sink, the floor. i fucking lose it, and stumble around going "oh fuck, oh fuck!!" looking for the paper towels. she runs over and stuffs some napkins over my hand and holds my finger really tight, but the blood is just fucking oozing through the napkins.


at this point i go "i'm gonna pass out", then i promptly stagger over to the couch to try not to brain my damage with the fall. she starts laughing and goes, "are you really gonna faint?" and then i just checked out, right there. missed the couch entirely, hit the floor with my ass up.


i woke up a minute or two later to her treating my wound and laughing at me. 


flash forward: i'm marrying this girl. she's my fiancee. last night we're having old friends over, and she breaks out the wine. she spills a little on herself by accident while pouring it, and then goes "oh my god, i'm gonna faint, oh my god" and staggers around the room, then collapses on the floor and stops moving. everybody knew what that referenced, so everybody laughed at me for the remainder of the evening.


i'll have my revenge.


** 


edit: don't ever type the word 'was' twice in a row, it's a trigger for some redditors

TIFU by fainting like a bitch in front of my date