Definition: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
Input: Text: alright so a couple of months ago my boyfriend and i started talking about anal play. not anal play with me (i am a female) but anal play with him. i have done this with guys before and wanted to experience this with him so i talked to him about it and he said he was open to doing it one night. 

flash forward to last night. he says he wants to try it. at this point i'm practically running to the bathroom where i keep my toys. when he told me i could hear some hesitation and i knew he was nervous so i was frantically trying to get a toy before he changed his mind. this is where things start to get bad. i look through all of my toys and find one that i had recently ordered and not used yet and decided that this one would be the best since i could easily boil this one. unfortunately when i put the batteries in it turns out they sent me a dud. i realize quickly that this night might not be happening. but then i spot something. my finger [vibe] (http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/trojan-vibrating-touch-from-taylor-gifts)  .every fiber in my being is telling me this is a bad idea but i ignore it. i sanitize it quickly and rush back to the bedroom. we go through the standard pre-buttplay talk we begin. 

everything seems to be going great. we are both having a great time. then it happens. he gets overly excited and starts rolling onto his stomach without telling me and i can feel the toy twisting around. at this point i yell at him to stop and he freezes. i look up at him and our eyes meet. he is completely panicked. i explain to him that he has twisted the vibrator sideways and the rubber piece around my finger is slipping. he starts yelling "get it out get it out" i'm freaking out because as i pull it with the tip of my finger i can feel the rubber part that goes around my finger stretching very thin and slipping off. i decide my best bet is to put another finger in, and another, and some from my other hand. so i'm fishing around in his ass and he's freaking out " i knew this was a bad idea this was such a bad idea i dont know why i wanted to do this" i'm trying to calm him down while simultaneously trying not to fist him. finally i grab it and go to pull and snap the rubber piece breaks. i pull out my fingers and sit on the bed just staring at his asshole. 

he realizes i've let it go and turns around. we both stare at each other and finally he says "i can feel it vibrating inside of me." my response probably was not the best response but hey this is a fuck up. so i look at him and say " if you cant get that out we are going to have to go to the hospital and have them remove it" his face goes white and he spins around . "get it out! im serious! please! please!" he yells. so i reach in again. i cant feel it and i tell him to relax his anus. he takes this to mean "push" and boy does he. with my hand inside of him i feel the heat of warm shit on my fingers and quickly yank them out. his anus explodes with diarrhea all over our bed and the toy shoots out covered in crap. he turns around to take in the sight of my hand covered in his shit as well as our bed and the toy. he stands up and walks to the bathroom and locks the door. i didnt know what to do so i cleaned myself off. i took all the bedding, rinsed it off in the sink, and put it in the washer. i remade the bed and waited...and waited...and waited. an hour later he came out, got in bed, and went to sleep. he hasnt said anything to me since then. i doubt we will be doing anal play again.



edit: for all of you saying or implying that its gay for guys to stick things up their butt, being gay is who you love and have sex with not how you have sex. you don't see me going around telling everyone i don't let guys eat me out or finger me because i don't want anyone to think i'm a lesbian. that's ridiculous.


edit#2(hehehehe): i neglected to detail that after saying he would try it a month ago, i hadnt brought it up very much since. i knew it was a sensitive subject. when he said he was ready it was out of nowhere. we werent talking about it or anything. i wasnt pressuring him. i would never do that. he looked nervous like he had been thinking about asking and finally got the nerve to do it. when i said i was worried he would change his mind i meant i was worried he would retract his statement out of embarrassment.

update: so /u/rhaegarys suggested i show my boyfriend [this video](http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82523082/) to maybe lighten the mood. i showed him and he did not laugh but he blew air out of his nose a few times. i however was laughing hysterically. at the end he looked at me and said "too soon" and then laughed. we talked about everything that had happened. and things are good now. he is kind of doing his own thing on his computer now but i think in a little while i might show him this post and all of your comments.

update: i have shown the thread to my boyfriend. he is reading a lot of the comments and laughing. do you have any questions for him

TIFU by convincing my boyfriend to try anal play [NSFW]